#fortuning's jds

[bunnymerchandise]

Fortuning's JDS Cute Bunny Plush

[delicioustarong]

A blast to the past 😏

Fanart for the amazing @that-cool-guy! Your comic is srsly so funny, so I made you this ❤️

I know that Rhonda was also scared when they got sucked into that giant worm time traveling thingy. But I thought it would be 10x funnier if she was having the time of her life while JD screams like a baby LMAO

But yee, that's all. Hope you like it :3

[stylishkatz68]

more dancers lol

[irrevasazim]

Celebrity Birthday Cards 🔮 America Votes 2024 Edition ✨

Whether you're voting Democrat or Republican this election vote all the same, and while you're waiting in line for that ballot box why not enjoy the birth decan cards of 2024's Presidential Candidates for the United States of America? Music by the United States Marine Band Come join your friendly neighborhood Satanist for a tarot reading LIVE on Twitch evenings 7PM-11PM EST

[nativegirltapes]

drew didn’t like to make a big deal out of his birthday, but unfortunately (fortunately) for him, he’s dating angel, the girl who makes it her life mission to celebrate his birthday !

notes — small birthday blurb for my babydaddyyyy <3 nothing that special.

you knew it was dangerous when drew gave you a copy of his key for his apartment. coming to steal his clothes and dig in his snacks was fun and sneaky, but planning a surprise party for him while he was away all day was definitely at the top of the list.

“i want everything to be perfect! we need to rehearse one more time!” you shouted. “everyone get in position!”

“really?” JD complained, although he was definitely speaking for everyone involved in the surprise. this was your 6th time making everyone rehearse for when drew got home. “yes. really. now get in position.” you rebutted, everyone ultimately listened and got into position. they knew how much this meant to you. they knew how much drew meant to you.

“wait!” your eyes shot open at the noise of drew stomping down the hallway. “he’s actually here! everyone positions now! for real this time!” you took your spot standing a few feet from the door, holding the fresh flowers you bought for drew.

your stomach did flips as you heard drew fiddling with the lock, you just wanted everything to be perfect for him. and more importantly you just wanted him to like it.

“SURPRISE!” everyone shouted as drew opened the door. a huge grin took over his face as he set his bag on the floor, immediately coming to embrace you.

you heard mumbled ‘happy birthday drew’s’ being yelled by everyone as he hugged you. he left kisses all along your ear and cheeks, “happy birthday drew.” you said softly, pulling away from the hug and giving drew his flowers. you were surrounded by dozens of people but still this moment felt so intimate. “thank you baby.” drew kissed you before making his way to his other friends and guests that you’d managed to all round up on the same day, all to celebrate him.

⋆˚࿔ 🎂 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

after a few hours of socializing with drew’s friends and castmates, some of who you loved and some of which you couldn’t stand, you’d finally gotten drew alone upstairs in his room for a bit.

“you did all this for me?” drew wrapped his arms around you, bringing you closer to him. a small smirk took over his face as he looked down at you. you looked absolutely stunning. you couldve gotten him nothing and he’d still be happy just being able to come home to you.

“yes.” you batted your lashes, your soft voice giving him butterflies. “there isn’t anyone else i would want to do it for.” you stood on your tippy toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. “you mean that?” drew teased, his hands making there way down to your ass, giving it a firm squeeze.

“do you want to find out?” you pulled him by the collar of his shirt back to the bed. drew wasn’t the only one getting what he wanted for his birthday.

[madlori]

ICYMI

Things continue to go Very Badly for That Fucking Guy.

Someone in his campaign - who has to be a double agent, there's no other explanation - decided he should speak in front of the National Association of Black Journalists, where he was questioned by a trio of hypercompetent black woman who did not let him get away with shit and who within 0.5 seconds drove him into a frothing frenzy. He tried several tacks to get the audience on his side, none of which worked (and bizarrely included a claim that Harris never claimed her black heritage until last week - Harris who attended Howard University, mind you - and revealed that he doesn't seem to comprehend that someone can be black AND Indian). He continued to babble and rant until his people pulled him half an hour into the interview while the audience booed and laughed at him.

After trying to claim that the campaign is just a babe in the woods about all this Project 2025 stuff, just no idea what any of that's about, come to find out that the foreword to an upcoming book written by the the Project's leader was written by...JD Vance.

Democratic leaders appear to have tired of the "go high" ethos (like...about time) and are straight up calling Republicans unhinged freaks at every opportunity, with receipts to support that assertion, of which there are plenty.

Yesterday it was also reported that NONE of the CEOs of the Fortune 500 companies are endorsing Trump. This is likely the result of some reports last month that top nationwide business leader had a meeting with Trump in which he was so unhinged and nonsensical that they all walked out saying they wouldn't support him. [ETA: it's been pointed out that Tesla is a F500 company and Musk is definitely supporting him, but it's still good news]

And today, Mark Cuban and the founder of LinkedIn announced they were forming a PAC of about 100 venture capitalists with a lot of money to support VP Harris.

[takusan-no-ai]

Well, aren’t you a cutie

PAIRING: Jane x Male Reader (Romantic) (Suggestive)

SUMMARY: (Y/N) meets Jane Doe, and a simple friendship becomes something more.

You’re an officer working at New Eridu Public Security, having been a member for some years now. The top of your class in the training academy, and past roommates with Seth, it’s safe to say you had connections in the industry.

Those connections led to you being entrusted as a “thug” for an undercover operation. Naturally, you were entrusted to work with your new temporary boss, Jane Doe. And boy, she wasn’t anything you were expecting.

For starters, she was a flirt; “Hey there handsome, nice to meet you. Think you can carry my luggage to the car? Your big strong arms can handle it~”. It was never ending with this woman. And the worst part is that after a while it started to work; being complimented just felt good, especially when it came from her.

You’re pretty good at undercover work, so you were effortlessly able to keep up with Jane’s choices and adapt accordingly. It built a nice camaraderie between you two. Fortunately, this didn’t stop after the mission was done.

Letting out a grunt, (Y/N) stretched in his chair, ready for his shift to finally end. Someone knocked on his desk beside him, though he already knew who it was. Jane Doe, who was now leaning over his chair to face him upside down. Her rat tail swaying back and forth.

“I have another mission next week. I was hoping you’d be my underling again.” She said. (Y/N) smirked, seeing an opportunity to get back at Jane for all that teasing last time.

“As much as I enjoy being under you, I don’t like mixing work and pleasure, Jane. You should pick someone who’s more qualified rather than someone you just miss.” He teased. Jane hummed before sitting on his lap and taking a bite out of the apple he was saving for later.

“I can’t help it. A guy with such charisma like you is all the pleasure I need. Work with me, and make me happy~” Jane countered his attempt without even trying. A blush appeared on both of their faces; one anxious, and the other excited.

“I’m starting to think you’re talking about more than work, Jane.” (Y/N) said cautiously. Jane smiled, getting up while her tail wrapped around his waist.

“Nonsense. I simply mix work and pleasure.” She walked off, giggling. (Y/N) chased after her, only to be met with a crumbled piece of paper smacking him on the face.

“Call Me. - JD”

- Fin

[kaoreta]

It's Not Like That! (Or is it?)

I finally got something done after scrapping a bunch of ideas! Sorry if it's bad though, got a little case of writers block...

Pairing: Floyd x Fem!Reader

Important Notes: You're a Putt-Putt Troll!

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Takes place after the events of Band Together, reader is an OG BroZone fan and their fav is Floyd, probably some repetitive things here and there lolz

writing is under the cut~

You were rolling around in the sand outside of the bar after BroZones reunion concert, two of Bruce’s kids were behind you, giggling loudly as they chased you around the area.

At some point, you rolled out of their line of sight and your thoughts began to wander…

Being able to see BroZone after all these years, hearing kids laugh cheerfully as you roll around in the summer sun… It all felt so surreal after being stuck in that old bergen golf course for so long.

Buuuut, you didn't have long to think on those thoughts as you accidentally ran into another troll.

Fortunately, the other troll landed on their back. You however, landed face first on the ground, and sand made its way into your mouth.

“Ugh… Oh- Hey, are you alright?”

You heard the other troll say, you quickly pushed yourself up and spat out the sand that was in your mouth before answering them.

“Yeah, I'm fine- Bleh!”

You cut yourself off as you spat out more sand, the other troll chuckled at your actions…

Wait a sec...

That laugh sounds familiar…

Lifting your head up to properly look at the troll you ran into, you saw…

“Wait- Floyd!?”

You questioned with widened eyes, did you really just accidentally run into your favorite BroZone member!? That's so embarrassing…

The embarrassment you were feeling only grew as he nodded and confirmed your words, you groaned out loud as you pulled strands of your hair over your face, mumbling an apology to him.

“It’s alright, mistakes happen… You don't have to hide like that, y’know?”

Ah, just as you’d expect from the sensitive one, his words were so gentle and kind… But now isn't the time for fangirling!!

“U-um… Yeah! You're right…!”

You let go of your hair as you cleared your throat, looking off to the side to hide your embarrassment, have I mentioned you're embarrassed yet?

“Hey… You’re a Putt-Putt Troll, right?”

He asked, you nodded your head, still looking away from him.

“Cool, I hope my older brother wasn't too serious for you.”

Floyd chuckled, you knew he was referring to the time you spent in the bergen golf course and you giggled along.

“He was fine, Viva balanced out his seriousness anyway.”

You replied, finally looking at him with a smile. Floyd only stared at your face as you looked at him, you caught onto this and waved a hand in front of his face.

“Uh… Earth to Floyd??”

You kept waving your hand until he snapped back to reality.

“A-ah… Sorry… I spaced out…”

He said as he turned his head away… Oh, so now it's his turn to do that, neat. You giggled and told him it was fine.

Just as he looked back to you, someone cut off your moment.

“There you are, Floyd!”

Looking over, it was Bruce, his children right behind him.

“And there’s ball girl!!”

One of his children excitedly exclaimed as they pointed to you, you smiled back at them as you got ready to go back into your ball form.

“Wanna play another round?”

You asked them with one eyebrow raised, they cheered a bunch of yes’s and without missing a beat you rolled off again, hearing their laughter and footsteps behind you once again.

“So, what’s that troll's name?”

“It's… uh…”

Floyd trailed off, Bruce laughed as he watched his younger brother struggle to remember.

“Did you forget to ask? That's not a great start to getting a girl, y’know?”

Floyd groaned at his older brother's words, feeling embarrassed by them.

And that embarrassment only grew as another one of his brothers overheard Bruce.

“Wait… Floyd’s got a crush!?”

JD exclaimed, eyes widened and mouth agape.

“N-no! It's not like that…”

[thealogie]

maybe the democrats shouldn't be taking election advice on how to win more voters from people who are performing in comedy sketches for jd vance... doesn't really scream "in touch with the average person"

yeah fortunately they’re too stupid to be taking advice from me so you’re all good! My work is done elsewhere (not with the dem establishment)

[hostilemuppet]

do you think floyd has internalised fatphobia? mostly cause the way jd treated bruce when they were in the band really stuck with him

in the context of canon floyd (who i choose to draw pudgier than he is)? no. i dont think he cares about anything. in the context of tdau floyd? i think theres not a single part of himself that hes not insecure about one way or the other, even if he pretends to have a massive ego, both for the sake of internet comedy and "fake it til you make it". fortunately he has someone who wants him carnally, not in spite of but BECAUSE of his body

yes creek is heterosexual. yes he is obsessed with every inch of floyd. its called being a multifaceted individual

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Always my beloved; Thorin Oakenshield x reader

*Author’s note*

For my first ever Thorin Oakenshield story I hope I did you Thorin fans justice with this sweet little oneshot. So @firestrike004​ thank you soo much for your patience and I hope you all enjoy this fic.  

Not really any warnings just injuries, some fluff, some angst (fairly minor but still some people need warnings).

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@psychosupernatural​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

@queen-paladin​

@gay-and-ready-to-cry​

____________________________________________________________

We knew the risk of going on this quest, but never did I think we’d come across the bane of Thorin’s family, Azog the Defiler.  We had believed he had died back at the battle of Azanulbizar from his wounds but low and behold there he was astride upon his infamous white warg.  We barely made our escape thanks to our burglar as well as the Great Eagles I had read so much about as a young dwarrow-dam.

Now we decided to take some rest to rest and for Thorin to recover.  The wounds from Azog’s warg were probably the worst I had ever seen and I’ve doctored warg bites before.  But thankfully with both mine and Oin’s help, my beloved should be back to his old strength within a few days.

Aye I did say beloved. Thorin and I are currently in the courting stage of our relationship, and have been for these past 5 summers. He had made a vow to me that once he would reclaim Erebor, we would finally be wed and I would rule at his side as Queen Under the Mountain.

Of course at first when Gandalf had persuaded Thorin to go on this quest, he wanted me to have absolutely no part in it.  In fact he had tried to send me off to live with his cousin Dain in the Iron-hills for safe keeping until the Mountain was reclaimed.  And being the stubborn female dwarf I am, I can be just as stubborn of not more than Thorin Oakenshield himself.

After some heated words, and even a fight to decide my fate, Thorin had kept his word that after defeating him in combat I had a right to go alongside the Quest.  In fact I was one of the first after Dwalin and Balin had agreed to follow Thorin.

I had just changed out Thorin’s bandages as well as flushed out any signs of infections before they could spread and cause his healing to delay or worse make him sick. As I returned to put my stuff back into the pack, I caught sight of Bilbo sitting down to some of Bombur’s stew. I walked over to him and asked.

“Mind if I join you?” he turned to me.

“Not at all (Y/n).” Hobbits truly were polite people.  Even back at his home when I was the only one out of the 13 dwarves to not to help myself to his food cabinet, he graciously tried to offer me something before one of the boys took it for themselves.  I took my seat next to him and he asked, “Do you mind if I—”

“Oh not at all Bilbo, please eat. Mahal knows we’ve been practically starving you since this quest began.” When we were in Rivendell and I caught Bilbo eating both dinner and supper within just a few short hours apart he had told me that Hobbits have seven meals every day.  I took it upon myself to first apologize for starving the poor lad and then when breakfast came that day, I had helped the Elves with serving something not only for the Dwarves but for Bilbo as well.

As he went to his stew, he took a few sips before looking around and whispered to me.

“How’s Thorin?” the lad truly has grown fond of my beloved.  Especially after what had happened along the Misty Mountains.

“He’ll live fortunately. Unfortunately for him, he’ll have to be put on bed rest for the next 24-48hours before he can even move. Warg bites are nothing to sniffle or chuckle at. And believe me getting Thorin to stay on bedrest is a challenge in on itself.”

“No doubt I imagine. I’m sure you’ve seen plenty of it being Thorin’s wife.”

“If it hadn’t been for you, I would’ve been called Thorin’s widow.” He stopped his eating and looked at me.  I placed my hand on his shoulder and continued, “What you did last night Bilbo, it’s something that I can never truly repay you for.”

“There-there really is no need to repay me. I just did what anyone of you would’ve done. Though I don’t know why I did without no skill of a blade it was all just—”

“Instinct. I get the feeling. But I am grateful nonetheless my friend.” I patted his shoulder.  “And if you’re up for it later today, Bofur and I can show you a thing or two about fighting. Same with Fili and Kili.” He nodded.

“I do appreciate it (Y/n).” I smiled at him before standing up and went off to join the others for my own meal.

Truthfully I don’t know what I would’ve done had I lost Thorin last night.  He and I have known each other since we were young Dwarves in Erebor, my father being one of the King’s proudest and strongest fighters but was sadly killed when the Dragon took our home.  My mother tried her best but she too succumbed to grief leaving me with no family, till Thorin stepped up.

He helped support me when we worked in the villages of Men and when we were finally able to make a temporary home in the Blue Mountains, that’s when my feelings for him began to deepen.  And eventually he came to accept he felt the same for me and never did I think Thorin would ever choose a wife, he never really showed much interest in wanting to court anyone, not since we lost our home.

I reached up to the left side of my hair, brought some of the hair that rested on my back to the front but something was missing.  No it-it cannot be! I looked down at my hair and brushed through it with my fingers and couldn’t see the courting beads Thorin had braided into my hair.  Not only that but some of the strand felt uneven (particularly where the braid once rested).

My heart raced as I tried to remember where and when the last time I felt the braid was. Obviously it was still intact at Rivendell, the Goblin tunnels I still had it, when Azog attacked us and—oh makk an E ha’ak!  When I fought alongside Dwalin, Fili, Kili and Bilbo to hold off the orcs from Thorin before the eagles came, one of them must’ve cut my braid off without my knowing!

A million thoughts were racing through my head.  First it was to curse the orc that did this and that I vowed to kill them if they ever show themselves again.  But most of my thoughts trailed back to Thorin.  What would he say? How will he react? Will he still want to be my One? Will he be furious that I lost his courting bead?

In our customs, a courting bead is so precious and is never given away lightly (especially if your One is someone like Thorin is).  By gaining the bead you’ve not only come to accept your One’s feelings for you, but also accept a courtship and eventual marriage to bond the two of you into one. Losing it or returning it is like having your heart getting grind up, slammed with a forging hammer until it’s nothing but tiny little pieces and then returning the heart to the one who gave you the courting bead.

And never have I once undid the braid nor removed the bead from my hair ever since Thorin gave it to me.  Everyone knew where it lied and if they saw it gone……what would the other’s think? I was so focused on my thoughts that I barely registered that I had walked into someone. When I looked up I had seen that I had walked into Gandalf.

“Oh Gandalf, forgive me.”

“No worries my dear (Y/n).” he looked me over and continued, “You seem to be worried about something.” I looked around to see if any of the others were nearby.  When I saw that no one was within hearing range, I asked Gandalf to come closer to my height with my two fingers.  He knelt down and I whispered to him.

“I’ve lost Thorin’s courtship braid.” He separated from me for a bit as I further explained, “It must’ve been that orc I faced off against when Azog caught us along the Misty Mountains. Gandalf, what if Thorin takes notice of it? Or someone already has and will tell him?”

“Now, now my dear, let’s not jump to conclusions.”

“But Gandalf you know what courting braids mean in our culture. You know what losing one’s courting bead means? I—I can’t lose Thorin. Not again, especially not after last night. He’s all I have left in this world.” He placed both of his hands on my shoulder.

“Thorin may be stubborn but I know he would never do that to you. You both have been through far too much to let something like this be the final straw to divide you both. Remember it’s not just him that’s helped you, you have helped him as well.”

He wasn’t lying. After his grandfather’s death and his father going missing, Thorin was practically lost in how to help our people. Whilst I too, grieved over my father I also had to support Thorin for he was hurting just as much as I was.  We depend on each other and support one another, the other’s beacon of light in the dark mines.

“But how do I tell him Gandalf?” I asked uncertainly.

“You’ll know just what to say my dear girl.” I took a deep breath then exhaled.

“Okay Gandalf, I trust you.”

“And you’ve learned to never doubt it.” He gave me a soft wink before going on his way.  I took a deep breath before heading back to rejoin the others.

The day was spent helping Bilbo train with his sword, scouting out for Azog or his orc pack, and helping Oin with Thorin’s wounds.  Which was what was happening right now, I held onto Thorin’s hand as Oin was once again flushing out the slightly infected bites and stitching them back up. Thorin was tense throughout the whole process.

He never did like to show pain whenever he had to get patched up.  Said he was afraid that others would view him as weak.

“Alright Thorin, just continue to not move about so much and those wounds will heal up quickly.”

“Thank you Oin. I know I’m skilled as a healer but I am nowhere near your degree of knowledge.” I told him.

“Do not doubt your own skills milady.” He told me.  “We’ll be lucky to have you as our Queen once we reclaim the throne. The first Dwarf Queen to be skilled in the knowledge of healing that could be rivaled by the Elves.” Him saying that suddenly gave me an uneasy feeling in my stomach.  As much as I do trust Gandalf in his words from earlier, there’s still a lingering shadow of fear that’s clung itself onto my like a thorn that won’t come out.  He soon left Thorin and I alone and I heard my One say.

“He’s right you know.” I turned to him.  “Never before as a Dwarf woman been so knowledgeable about herbs, healing methods and skills as you have my beloved. Erebor will be lucky to have you as it’s Queen.” He cupped the side of my face, “My only regret is that it will take us longer to get there.”

“Your health is what we should be focused on right now. I would rather Erebor have a King in good health rather than poor or worse dead.” I brushed the long strands of hair from his face before I began braiding it.

“Every hour lost hasten Durin’s day.” I rolled my eyes.

“Thorin. Durin’s day is not going anywhere. It lies on the same day as it always does. Not a week before not a week after. As I said, I would rather have you in good health to rule at my side, than you pushing yourself only to make your health worsen. Even if I have to bind you to this tree I will.”

“Reminds me of the time when you did just that to get me to have me teach you how to fight. Is that how you intend on delivering punishments? Bound the prisoners to trees with your tight knots?”

“Only to those truly stubborn enough not to follow either mine or Doctor Oin’s orders.” We both laughed softly before I gave him a soft kiss.  I felt as his hand went from cupping the side of my face to going around the back of my head, right to where I knew he’d always like to stroke his courting braid.

I separated our kiss and quickly grabbed his wrist and pulled it away from my head.  Immediately I could see the thoughts spinning in his head like a spider’s web.

“What is it (Y/n)?” he asked me.

“Nothing.” I quickly said.

“It’s not nothing. Never before have you stopped me from touching your hair.”

“I—I haven’t had the chance to brush my hair yet.” Even to me that was a pathetic excuse.  Thorin’s brow rose skeptically then he asked me.

“What’s really going on?” I sighed deeply and turned my head away from him.

“I cannot say.”

“Why not?”

“I just can’t.”

“(Y/n), amrâlimê.” He lifted my chin up to look into his deep blue eyes.  “What was it you once said to me when we first began courting?”

“That there should be no secrets between us.” I answered.

“So why are you starting now?” I sighed heavily, already feeling the wetness of tears forming under my eyes.

“I’m afraid.”

“Afraid of what?”

“That I’ll lose you.”

“(Y/n). These wounds of mine aren’t—”

“It’s not the wounds or in battle that I fear amrâlimê, it’s—” I took another deep breath before I took the section of my hair where he had given his courting bead and showed him how it was now gone.  As I expected his eyes widened in shock as he reached out for the cut strands of my uneven hair and brushed through them.  Almost hoping the bead would reappear along with the braid but it was gone.

“How long has it been missing?” he asked.  His voice stern as I knew he was trying to suppress his anger.

“I only noticed it this morning. My best guess is that it was the orc I was fighting with along the mountainside when Azog ambushed us. I’m sorry Thorin, this is my fault for allowing that foul creature to even graze my hair. I should’ve been more careful I should’ve been more aware of what I was carrying upon my head. I was careless, foolish and—” I was stopped by the feeling of his arms wrapped around me tightly.

“But you are not hurt, yes?”

“No.”

“Then that is enough for me.” I separated our embrace and looked at him in shock, his eyes that were once filled with shock and anger now appeared soft and gentle.

“I don’t understand. Thorin, my courtship braid to you has been severed. Your courting bead lost forever.”

“Mere objects. A new braid can be made, a new bead can be strung into your locks. But there is only one you,” he cupped my face into his hands, his thumbs gingerly stroking the apple of my cheeks just above the strands of my own beard.  “And I could not bear the thought of losing you.”

“You—you still wish to court me?”

“You are my One, (Y/n). Who else would I want as my Queen?”

“I just…..I know how special our courting traditions and symbols are. I was worried if you took notice of your bead and braid missing that you—you wouldn’t want to be with me anymore.”

“Amrâlimê,” our noses softly grazed one another’s as we stared deeply into each other’s eyes, “I would rather share one lifetime with you, than face all the ages of this world alone. You are my One, and nothing will ever change that. As I said, I can give you a new braid, I’ll find you a new bead. A more finer bead once we reach the mountain and reclaim our home. But there is only one of you. And I would be a fool to let someone like you go.”

He then pressed his forehead to mine and I shut my eyes as I felt his love and strength enter me as our forehead remained together.

“I am sorry I doubted your love Thorin.” I said after awhile of silence between us.

“There is no need for apologizes. You are always be my beloved, no matter what the world gives us…..”

“We’ll always be One.” I finished our vows that we made for one another when we first began our courtship together.  He soon moved his lips over mine and once again we kissed.  

His hand going back towards the area where my braid once stood, and I felt his fingers softly brush through those strands of hair and I felt myself finally relax under his touch.

[vxlturebones]

JD HEADCANNONS

some are gonna be if he lived a lil longer but shhhhh

there is SO much i can say about this bitch. dont get me started

- his favorite subject in school is history.

Canonically, his grandpa fought in WW2, or at least he claims so. hes not the most reliable person in the movie, but taking his claim at face value, he probably spent a fair amount of time with his grandfather as a kid, and going off of this, developed an interest in the war, and history in general.

- loner by choice.

JD is the sort of person that just has a massive superiority complex, to overshadow his inferiority complex. He prides himself as better than everyone at Westerberg, and specifically opts not to get toooo close to anyone while at any given school, since he knows that itll only end with him leaving them behind. He wants to minimize the emotional baggage he carries with him. Other than this, he’d also do it for ego purposes. Since he’s moved around so much, he’s seen a lot, and knows that high school is practically the same everywhere. Knowing this, he might see himself as above everyone in his school, fueling his seemingly massive ego.

- music.

I imagine JD would be a fan of some punk artists, like dead kennedys, and personally relate to songs like Insight. however, even taking this into account, he would rather cut his own arm off than admit it. admission would therefore mean association w a clique, which I assume he’d want to avoid, for the reasons mentioned previously. I can also see him listening to the likes of depeche mode and joy division occasionally, as well as the smiths.

-has a middle name.

JD is too convenient of a name. For some reason, Jason H. Dean feels very natural to me as a full name, and I like to think his full name is Jason Hartwell Dean. why? i couldn’t tell you. those r just the vibes i get

-SCARILY good at guessing

JD is not the best student. Sure, he comes to class, but mostly spends it in the back of the room, lost in thought. fortunately for him, he’s extremely good at being able to gauge the situation and find an appropriate answer, with minimal context. He does well on tests and is good at sudoku, which Veronica taught him to play, for this very reason.

my wrist is getting tired from holding my phone BUTTT ask me about JD pls and ty he’s my fav i lvoee him eoe os sososososos much ygh <33333

[anxiousstark]

The Honour of My Queen | EDDIE MUNSON

Bastard King! Eddie x Queen!Reader

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: Mentions of sexism, inappropriate comments, bo0bies and pp s€x(?), being caught, Eddie being absolutely bewitched by his queen and being a lil perv . DNI NEEDED. THOSE YOUNGER THAN 18, LEAVE!

A/N: SURPRISE! My fic The Banished King (I recommend reading it to be able to understand this one better) got far more attention than I anticipated, which made me very happy because I put a lot of effort into it. Several people commented on how much they enjoyed it (comments I peruse from time to time because they make me very joyful), so I decided to create this! Based on a comment made by @mimsie95 and @jenna-jd stating that they needed more ;)

All Rights Reserved. The author, me, does not allow any type of copy or adaption.

BIG MASTERLIST

The ladies' conversation was cut short by the sudden opening of massive doors.

You smiled at the ladies seated in a circle, gracefully sipping from their tea cups, but who were quickly interrupted by the person who had chosen to enter the room, silencing the faint conversation and giggles of a group of influential women married to men in high positions. You turned your head as carefully as possible, only to be met by a concerned, even anxious, gaze. Dustin stood at the large doors of the room, which was exclusively used for tea gatherings.

"Please pardon me for a moment." Because of your serene grin, the women nodded their heads. You grabbed the skirts of your dress after delicately resting your cup on the table, not wanting to step on them and tumble face-first to the ground. As you drew closer to Dustin, your heels echoed against the new marble floor. "What is going on?" You inquired softly, unbothered by his intrusion and concerned by his expression. You could no longer listen to Mrs. Stanlin complain about how her husband was losing his hair and no longer resembled the attractive man she had met as an adolescent.

"Eddie." He spoke in hushed tones. You gulped, tightening your grip on your skirts as you imagined the worst. "I'm not sure what occurred, but he told me to prepare for war."

"What?" You whispered with your eyes wide open. "Was there anything else he said? Did he share more information about the situation?" Dustin quickly shook his head. You took a couple of big breaths while sighing and looking down at the ground. Then you turned to your right, where Max stayed rigid but contemplative of her surroundings, settling into her new role as an official imperial guard. "Max," she looked in your direction once you mentioned her name. "Could you kindly look after the ladies? Make them go home, but without raising suspicions about anything. We do not want rumours or people finding out what's going on." She gave a furious inclination of her head. "At least not until I know." You sighed again after she nodded, returning your attention to Dustin and swiftly inquiring about your husband's whereabouts.

Your mind could not stop turning as you made your way to the throne chamber. After Eddie and you married, you both had no enemies and acquired even more allies. After seeing King Edward in your company, many people ceased judging him based on his father's wrongdoings. The man they believed was so terrifying was, in fact, an honourable and caring man. So, who would have wanted to start a war with your country? 

Eddie would never start a war, but he would put one down if necessary.

Not only did your gut churn at the thought of war, but so did your head. Because no war ends happily, just with pain, anguish, and death—something you did not desire for your country or any other.

Could your father and brother have been involved? Were they still angry at you for marrying King Edward? And gosh, not only after five months of marriage to him and being afraid for your mother being alone in their company, you chose to assist her in escaping from the castle. Fortunately for your mother, she had found a new love. 

She had fallen in love with Hopper, a middle-aged man who had previously worked for Eddie. He no longer worked for him, however, as he had fled with her, showing that he was a man capable of loving and caring for her as much as she would for him. So, with tears in your eyes, you bid your mother and Hopper farewell.

You wished she had stayed in your new country; the one you shared with Eddie. You knew your husband would keep her secure, but she had stated that she wanted to go away and do everything that women were not permitted to do. Things she was never permitted to experience.

When you finally arrived at the throne room, you swiftly grasped the knobs and, grunting and employing a great deal of strength due to the size of such large, dark reddish doors, you were able to pry them open.

Eddie's eyes would always locate you when you entered a room. It is as if he knew you were there, as if he sensed your presence and felt compelled to be by your side. Yet today, he had not run in your direction, welcoming you with what was supposed to be a soft kiss but soon transformed into a passionate kiss in which your spouse would swiftly dismiss everyone in the room.

You were merely met by the back of Eddie's head.

Individuals crowded into the chamber.  They dashed from one half of the room to the other, carrying maps, documents, and weapons. Eddie's voice, which was stern, rigid, and demanding, directed their every move.

"Eddie." As you stepped closer, your voice came out as a murmur, and your hands intertwined in front of you, twitching. "Eddie." You attempted yet again because it was obvious he hadn't heard you the first time. But as you repeated yourself, your voice was not been heard. "What exactly is going on?" You asked Billy, a man with a small moustache, who was in charge of the nation's plan in the event of war.

He tried to maintain his composure, but you had heard from Eddie numerous times that Billy Hargrove was ideal for his role in the castle since your husband was convinced that the man relished conflict. "My Queen." He bowed slightly, his gaze falling to the ground as a sign of reverence. You impatiently waited for him to resume speaking. "We are about to go to war."

You sighed, irritated but attempting not to show it. "For what purpose? What occurred? Who decided to attack us?" Your bosom heaved since you hadn't taken a single deep breath while asking some of the questions racing through your head.

He chuckled. "King Edward," he said. You scowled, tilting your head to one side. "The combat is being started by King Edward." Your pupils dilated as Billy bowed before departing the room, accompanied by some of the people under his leadership.

You took a long, deep inhalation. "Everyone, out!" Your voice echoed throughout the room, causing everyone to come to a halt and their chatter to cease as they looked in your direction. Without a second thought, they all began making their way to the door, bowing one by one before leaving. 

As the door closed behind you two, you took a step closer to your husband, who was standing in front of a dark wooden table, poring over maps and tracing lines with his ring-filled fingers. "What's the matter, Eddie?" He didn't turn to face you, which stunned you. "You're beginning a war, according to Billy." Such statements could not be believed. Eddie cared deeply about harmony and security.

"I am." You couldn't see his face, but his icy tone sent shivers down your spine.

"For what purpose? You despise bloodshed." One of your hands reached for your scalp, fingertips interlocking with hair strands. "What has happened?"

"They began it, and I'm just going to finish it." You walked around the table, still perplexed, until you were directly in front of him. Nevertheless, you couldn't see his face since he was looking down, his hair covering his face.

"I've seen or heard no one threatening us."

"He struck in a very distinct manner." He eventually looked up, his gaze restless as he moved his eyes all over your face, taking you in.

"Hey," You walked closer to him, your left hand resting on his chest and the other on his cheek, causing him to look into your eyes. "What's the matter, Eddie? I'm absolutely petrified." His palms landed quickly on your cheekbones, and his brow pressed against yours. His eyes closed for a few seconds, and you took the moment to appreciate his beautiful lashes while he drew a big breath.

"Lord Ramsay." It was the only thing he said for a few minutes, which gave you enough time to wonder why Lord Ramsay would do such a thing. Eddie had admired him and considered him one of his most loyal allies. "He mentioned your bosom." You took a step back, seeing the rage on his face.

"Eddie!" In the process, the palm that had been lying on his chest slapped it. "Are you initiating a war because someone talked about my chest?" He nodded as if it were the most natural thing in the universe. "You can't do that!"

He sneered and turned to saunter to his throne. "Why not? I am the King. I am free to do whatever I want. And if somebody endeavours to make such a remark about my wife and Queen, war will be declared." He slumped on his throne. "How could he!?"

Your body was assaulted by new sensations. On one side, your chest swelled with gratitude as you comprehended how much you meant to Eddie and how much he loved you. You had always assumed that your father and brother would marry you to the most heinous monster who had ever existed. Nonetheless, you have ended up with the most outstanding man. Yet you couldn't fathom that he wanted to start a war because someone had talked about your chest, even though you were not comfortable with such remarks; it was not an incentive to start a war in which others would suffer. Not for a subject like this.

"Eddie, my love." As you used one of his favourite endearments, he groaned. "I understand you're upset. I would be if someone said something inappropriate about you." As he settled on his throne, his legs were wide open, and his crown was slightly crooked as he slugged on it, glancing your way. "But you cannot start a war because of it." You took a step closer; your eyebrows scrunched up. "Others will be involved and suffer as a result of Lord Ramsay's inability to control his thoughts."

"Why does he have to think like that?" His tone was stern; he was offended by what had been stated about you.

"Well." You got closer. "Indeed, I do have a great bosom, if you ask me."

His gaze was drawn immediately to your chest as he shifted around his chair, attempting to find a comfortable position. "I know you do." His gaze never left your breasts as he admired how your chest was propelled by your corset, emphasising their appeal even more. Eddie had advised you that if they were uncomfortable for you, you didn't have to wear them. But goddamn, he adored it when you wore one. "I know it quite well."

"You do." His hips pushed up slightly as his fervent gaze followed your motions. You sat sideways on his lap, adjusting his crown while kissing his forehead. Your chest was positioned near his face due to the action, and he couldn't help but plant a wet kiss on top of your right breast while his hand moved higher to your left, using his full palm to tightly grasp it, causing you to moan.

"Unfortunately," you said as he hid his nose between your breasts, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes as you murmured. You could feel him unwind a little. "Such remarks will always be made. I am sure someone in your kingdom has thought the same thing or something along those lines."

His face rapidly escaped his protective haven. "Are you trying to make me burn down my own kingdom?"

"Eddie!" You yelled, hitting his shoulder. A little grin flashed on his face, indicating that he was somewhat kidding. "Should I just evict every woman from our kingdom then?" He pinched his brows in confusion, and you thought it was adorable that his hand was still holding your left breast. "I'm sure several women have fantasised about becoming your queen and doing even dirtier things." When you thought of that, you pouted and felt a piercing sensation in your chest. However, the feeling vanished as soon as you reminded yourself that he was yours and you were his. "Even men, for sure."

"Me?"

"Yes, you, Eddie." Your left hand became entangled in his locks. "They probably thought about how...you know." You were flushed. "And then there's your hands..."

"Sweetheart," he groaned as he swallowed. "That makes me think he probably considered other parts of your body that are mine." He hissed, his fingers dropping slowly towards the warm spot between your legs. And you wished you weren't wearing so much clothing so you could feel his fingertips. "I need to adhere to my plan." As he attempted to rise from the throne, his gaze darkened. Nonetheless, your weight pushed him down. 

"It is irrelevant what Lord Ramsay or anyone else says, Eddie." He groaned, not wanting to look into your lovely eyes, prompting you to take his chin and turn his face towards you. "I'm all yours." You kissed his lips sweetly.

"You're all mine?" His voice had gotten huskier. You nodded as he drew you closer to his body, his hands squeezing your thighs through the clothes. "All?"

You lowered your head once more. "All."

"Let me bury my cock in between them." His hands swiftly moved higher, clutching your chest harshly and causing you to toss your head back. "Please remind me that they are mine." As you met his, your mouth was already open; tongues were not waiting to dance lusciously, urging each other around from one mouth to the other. "I want you to get down on your knees." Your chest heaved due to the kiss, and Eddie bit the top of your right breast as soon as he spoke those words. 

You crawled on your knees, your wide eyes focusing on him with a sparkle that told Eddie you were just as hungry as he was. He couldn't wait to have your soft hands play with his thighs and zipper. He desired you. Your chest. Your mouth. Fuck. As he lowered his bottom half, his hands shook.

It made you want to whimper when you noticed he wasn't wearing underwear, but he never did. And fuck, he was already hard, standing tall and proud, twitching now and again.

The tip was somewhat crimson, swiftly turning purple, and you couldn't help but be proud of the impact you had on your spouse. You blew on the tip from afar, and a bead of cum began to drop from the side of his shaft in response. "It's crying out for you, my Queen."

You immediately attempted to undo your corset and dress. Why had you opted to wear one today? "Geez." You complained, your fingers growing a touch red as you fumbled with the laces on your dress.

"Sweetheart," For you to glance up from your bodice, the endearment had to be repeated. "I understand this is one of your favourite gowns."

"Eddie." You warned, your gaze following his hands as he ripped your entire top with one of his rings. "Eddie!" As your chest fell free, he grunted. It looked even heavier than before. "This is one of my favourites."

"I know, my love." He pouted, his right hand stroking under your chin. "But I can order millions of dresses just like this one for you." He whispered, his eyes ablaze. "But I won't be able to order a new dick if this one falls off." You chuckled, making him grin with delight. "Don't laugh, dear. It hurts a lot." He scowled. "I can't even sit up straight anymore. It's cutting through my gut." You smacked his thigh, causing him to chuckle and recline. He spread his legs. "Get me out of my misery."

Eddie's gaze was once again focused on your chest. You always avoided wearing any bralette due to the corsets and the bulky dresses, so as soon as he ripped your dress from the midsection, your chest sprung free, and your nipples were erect—not because of the cold, but because of his stare. 

His respiration was uneven, and as you came closer to him, it grew worse.

You softly and tentatively licked the tip of his member with the tip of your tongue, already feeling a slight saltiness. He moaned, clenching his jaw and shutting his eyes for only a few seconds.

You proceeded to take the full head in your mouth while staring at him, sucking and twirling your tongue around it. "Please," he implored, and you didn't need to hear anything else to figure out what he desired. Your hands swiftly clasped the side of your breasts, engulfing the remainder of his member and warming him even more. "Fuck." He tossed his head back, his hips slowly pushing upward. "Is this heaven?" You chuckled around him, causing him to gasp once again. His hands reached for your hair, and you believed he would grab it. He did, however, just fix your crown. "I can't have my queen all dishevelled." His cheeks were already red, and perspiration on his brow caused his curls to adhere to his face. "You know," he said quietly, his breathing heavy. "I've been thinking about you all day." You sucked harder as you whimpered around him. "Thinking of all the rooms in this castle that we still haven't fucked on, the furniture... fuck." There were so many places remaining, and yet you had done it in so many.

Eddie had an outstanding libido.

You began hollowing your cheeks and sliding your breasts faster around his member. "I'm not going to last. I've been hoping to see you all day so I could fuck you from behind after your lady friends left the tea party." His hand once again fixed your crown. This time, however, it lingered, tangled between your locks. "I was afraid I'd end up fucking you in front of them if they took any longer." His hips began to drive forward, and you had to manage your breathing so as not to suffocate. "They would have been shocked." He grinned, his eyes gleaming. It would not have been the first time he fucked you in public or under unusual circumstances.

"Fuck, sweetheart. I'm close." He mumbled. His thrusts were resilient, grazing the back of your throat. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, stop." With one last lick, your tongue left his cock. Nonetheless, your chest engulfed him. "I want to cum on them." You nodded, heated and longing for him to paint your chest. "You want that too, right?" He laughed. "You want to see the contrast between my cum and your skin colour?"

Eddie came on your chest with a scream—something you adored since Eddie was never hesitant about expressing his joy. "Fuck yeah, sweetheart." Ropes of cum adorn your bust. "Fuck, baby." His hands gripped your breasts once they had released his member, not caring if he got his own cum all over his hands. "Sit." He patted his lap and motioned for you to sit on it. 

"Eddie." You muttered.

"I never get tired of you in any aspect of my life, sweetheart." He kissed the side of your neck, causing you to moan. "I require my daily dose of you. To be honest, more than a dosage." His left hand grabbed your left breast and drew it into his mouth. 

"Now, open your legs."

Eddie's fingers slipped between your legs, and his mouth sucked on your chest. If only you'd known Eddie had an appointment with Lord Ramsay and had entered the throne room while you were in such peril.

[jd-gifs]

Setback

A tree fell on my family's house while we were away. Fortunately nobody was seriously hurt, but our wifi is out for the foreseeable future. Which means I will not be able to download JD maps to my desktop PC, which means I will not be able to make gifs.

For those of you that requested a gifset, I will work on those ASAP once our internet is restored! Not sure when that will be, but hopefully within the next few days.

[gordonstanheight]

masterlist of my f1 lists! :)

below can be found various playlists, letterboxd lists, and serializd lists of songs, movies, and tv shows that the drivers have discussed! they are all constant works in progress, and i always welcome help <3 i try to have sources for everything, especially the letterboxd lists!

sports alt — @zandvoortapex

honestly this is more of a passion side project to get recommendations for new medias than anything else LOL there's some really good hidden gems in here IMO

i also just really wanted it all in one place !! so without further ado --

—————

playlists:

‘: ☆ NR6! — sounds to make you feel like you can beat god himself in equal machinery

‘: ☆ SP11! — the mexican minister of defense and his sounds

‘: ☆ LH44! — what does a 7x wdc listen to?

‘: ☆ GR63! — background noise for powerpoint night (which is every night)

‘: ☆ CS55! — the sounds of a smooth operator

‘: ☆ CL16! — what it means to be il predestinato

‘: ☆ LN4! — to play for all occasions (becoming a dj, golf player, race car driver, twitch streamer)….

‘: ☆ LS18! — fortune favors the bold. המזל מעדיף את האמיצים

‘: ☆ SV5! — musik für den sonnenschein

‘: ☆ FA14! — what to put on when you’re conspiring el plan

‘: ☆ PG10! — this playlist was liked by pierre gasly

‘: ☆ E031! — what is estie bestie listening to?

‘: ☆ AA23! — tfw “we bought a zoo” is a movie about your life and also you just died (via appendicitis)

‘: ☆ YT22! — this is what plays softly over the speakers at yuki's restaurant

‘: ☆ ZG24! — how to get in the mood for a runway walk before a fashion show

‘: ☆ VB77! — what plays during cups of coffee and bike rides with the one you love

‘: ☆ MSC47! — what you'd listen to if you were a golden retriever turned into a human boy for a day

‘: ☆ KM20! — what is kmag listening to?

‘: ☆ MV33! — what plays in mad max’s head on loop during his casual sunday cruises as everyone else fights for their life

‘: ☆ DR3! — drs zone activated (daniel ricciardo supremacy)

‘: ☆ JD! — literal embodiment of :3

—————

film (letterboxd) lists:

': ♡ SP11! // no. 1 man on fire (2004) fan

': ♡ LH44! // official letterboxd top four: coming to america, trading places, six degrees of separation, scarface

': ♡ GR63! // no. 1 the gentlemen (2019) fan

': ♡ CS55! // average quentin tarantino fan

': ♡ CL16! // can't stop rewatching harry potter

': ♡ LN4! // class clown says he mostly just watches comedies i said oh i'm sure

': ♡ LS18! // filmbro taste with a bleeding heart

': ♡ SV5! // prefers films made before 2010

': ♡ FA14! // he doesn't like film or music apparently he just stares at a wall all day

': ♡ PG10! // currently rewatching harry potter with charles

': ♡ EO31! // always on that marvel grind

': ♡ AA23! // no jokes just his letterboxd would be insane

': ♡ YT22! // jason statham's biggest fan

': ♡ VB77! // this is literally just someone's dad

': ♡ MSC47! // what the letterboxd of a guy who is actually scared of the nun (2018) would look like

': ♡ KM20! // he just likes the shawshank redemption a lot

': ♡ MV33! // no. 1 fan of the hangover trilogy

': ♡ DR3! // unofficial letterboxd top four: dumb & dumber, friday night lights, ace ventura: pet detective, talladega nights

': ♡ JD! // no. 1 creed iii fan

—————

television (serializd) lists:

': ❀ SP11! ~~ dad taste real

': ❀ LH44! ~~ in his own words he doesn't really care to watch much tv so be disappointed but not surprised by his list

': ❀ GR63! ~~ sitcom type of guy

': ❀ CS55! ~~ grid king of binge watching like only one guy here would be on that grind during surgery

': ❀ CL16! ~~ he "doesn't have the patience" for a lot of tv but he likes to stay up with the trends

': ❀ LN4! ~~ mostly just watches what carlos recommends

': ❀ LS18! ~~ will always be seated for a sports docuseries

': ❀ SV5! ~~ not huge on tv but likes an easy watch

': ❀ FA14! ~~ dad taste and also his own freakin' show

': ❀ PG10! ~~ only watches the trends

': ❀ EO31! ~~ he likes to be thrilled and he likes to laugh

': ❀ VB77! ~~ recently likes two wheels more than four

': ❀ MSC47! ~~ tries to reject the trends, but sometimes they hit idk

': ❀ KM20! ~~ self-admittedly used to be more of a tv guy than he is these days

': ❀ MV33! ~~ loves a good action show

': ❀ DR3! ~~ his favorite hobby might be consuming media

': ❀ JD! ~~ outdoor adventures and romance

[humorisstoredinthetits]

Random Heathers Headcannons

These all take place in an AU where JD be more chill and decides that murder and slushies are not in fact the best ways to deal with mental illness and goes see a therapist, also Modern Times and PolyHeathers+V

The Heathers + Veronica have lots of money after Chandler and Duke's parents die in a "freak accident"

So maybe JD didn't fully shed his homicidal tendencies, just turned them on people who actually deserved it bc they were all shitty people who traumatized people he begrudgingly cares about

Big Bud Dean also mysteriously dies around this time in a freak accident involving being in a building right before it blows up

Being the only children of rich assholes whose family abandoned them for petty rich people reasons means they inherit the mansions and money, meaning the four of them can live in peace and don't have to get jobs unless they really want to

Veronica decides to write, since she doesn't have to worry about making it in the real world she can focus on her passion projects

Mac works with her Dad, who is alive because he did not contribute to her issues, that would be how society fails to meet the needs of autistic people, especially in education

She eventually is going to take over the engagement ring business, which is a pretty decent amount of income on top of their massive fortune

She also volunteers at animal shelters in her free time bc she loves animals

Duke initially says screw jobs but she quickly gets bored and decides to go into Child Psychology, she wants to help kids who were like her and had nowhere and no one to turn to, and help those in abusive situations to get out of them, bc JD can't just murder all of the abusive parents in the world, as great as that would be

Chandler thinks they are all crazy for taking jobs when they don't have to, but she gets bored as well waiting for them to get home so she starts doing all the chores

What she thought would originally be meaningless busywork actually becomes fun for her

It turns out she likes to cook, which is good bc if she didn't her gfs would would subsist entirely on hot pockets and coffee

She learns how to bake and the rest of them would often come home to fresh cupcakes or cookies

She also takes up gardening, which surprises her bc she thought she would hate having to get all up in the dirt

She's always buying different kinds of flowers to plant in the yard

Obviously she gets the most of heathers, duh

It feels like a final fuck you to her parents, who wanted her to become a rich asshole like the rest of their family

They sell the Duke residence to JD, Betty and Martha for cheap bc they don't need 2 houses (and bc they feel bad about how they treated them) while they all move into the Chandler Mansion

Life is chaotic as hell, but they all love it

Everyone besides Mac is a Night Owl, she has to drag them to bed at a reasonable hour otherwise they would stay up all night

They cannot function without their morning coffee

They occasionally play games, but this always turns out horribly

Take the Mario Party Incident for example

Mac just wanted them to all play together and have fun, so she booted up Mario Party, quickly forgetting how competitive Duke and Chandler are

They scream at each other the entire time, Veronica gives up around Round 4 and throws

At the end Chandler has the most stars, but Duke somehow gets all 3 bonus stars and ends up winning

Chandler fucking throws her controller through the TV

She sleeps on the couch that night

Or the time they tried to play Monopoly, but Duke set the board on fire after landing on Chandler's property with 3 hotels

Mac really wants to get a pet, she loves animals and there's plenty at the shelter waiting to be adopted

Duke is the holdout, she hates furry animals, but relents when she can get a snake

Veronica brings her cat JFK from her parent's place, Chandler gets a Maine Coon who only likes Mac and will hiss at everyone else, Mac gets a rabbit bc she loves them, they're just so tiny and fluffy and cute, and Duke gets a ball python

Chandler tried so hard to get the cat to like her, buying her all these toys and shit, but she'll always go to Mac for attention and hiss whenever Chandler gets close

Chandler hates the snake, in reality she's just scared, a fact which Duke takes full advantage of, like after the monopoly incident

Chandler goes to put on her war paint (makeup) when everyone hears a scream

Chandler is hiding in the corner, shaking at the sight of this small little ball python sitting in the cabinet

Duke is a chaos gremlin

Duke also sleeps on the couch that day

Veronica is a weeb and will binge anime all day if she has nothing else to do

She finds this one called I'm In Love With The Villainess bc one of the characters, Claire, looks a hell of alot like Chandler

She forces the Heathers to sit down and watch it with her, and they all agree Chandler is literally Claire

She starts calling Veronica 'commoner' after that