#forgot that one. also i watched this movie and had such a bad adrenaline kick i almost passed out. could be because of my mania

[goobobbers]

i’m ur transformer call me marlene call me gino 😛😛

[trashforhockeyguys]

Don’t Hold Me -19- Carter Hart

A/N: as always, all previous parts are linked in my master list. Also, umm don’t hate me for what happens at the very end. MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE  at the end as well, so if that could potently be triggering for you please be warned.

There was a moment, right when you first opened your eyes that you could’ve sworn you were a teenager again. You could hear Travis arguing with Ethan just feet from you, with the sound of someone playing NHL in the background. You felt so warm due to a blanket that someone had to have tossed over you at some point during the night. You wondered if you would see your house when you opened your eyes.

But there was an arm wrapped around you. So you couldn’t be at home. You were in Travis’s apartment. Ethan came in to help you and Kora move all of your things into a storage unit for the summer. He was going to stay for part of the playoffs. Carter was sleeping next to you. You’d both fallen asleep during a movie. 

You wiggled out from under Carter’s arm, following the sound of the voices to the kitchen. Kora, who still looked half asleep, was tucked under Ethan’s arm. Nolan was playing NHL in the living room, yelling at one of the other Flyers through a headset. In your gut, you knew this was what a normal morning with them. This is what life should be like. 

“Y/N! Tell him that he’s wrong!” Travis begged, pointing to Ethan. 

You shook your head, still too tired to even start to get into their mess, “Please tell me someone made coffee?”

Kora stepped away from E, “I’ll pour you a cup.”

“Carter still knocked out?” Ethan asked as you sat down on one of the bar stools. 

“Yeah, you two arguing woke me up,” You responded slowly, “What were you two arguing over anyway?”

“Don’t ask,” Kora handed you a cup of coffee, “They’re being guys.”

“They’re arguing over who had more points when they played together,” Nolan announced from the couch. 

“Oh, that’s easy, it was Ethan,” You shrugged, “Travis had the most penalty minutes.”

Kora had to hold back a laugh at the face that Travis made. Truth was, although Travis was an incredible player, even then, he was still very scrappy. He made a lot of bad plays and often let his head get the better of him. Ethan was always more level headed, and was responsible for more than his fair share of assists. But when the two of them were on the ice together, nothing was going to stop them. You missed watching them together like that. 

“Someone had to do all the dirty work,” Travis explained, “But I don’t get that many penalties now.”

Kora reached over and messed up his hair, “No, you behave now. Like a good little feisty Canadian.”

“Careful, he bites when provoked,” Carter joked, finally seeming to have woken up. 

“Better watch it, we have practice in a couple of hours, I won’t take it easy on you,” Travis warned. 

“Okay Teeks, sure,” Carter kissed the top of your head, “Morning babe.”

You felt your cheeks heat up a little as you tilted your head to look up at him. This was something you could really get used to, all of you being together like this. You and Kora had to move out of the dorm, since the year was finally over. So Travis was letting her and Ethan crash at his place, while you stayed with Carter. Although, last night all of you ended up over here to watch movies and eat pizza. Nolan casually reminded everyone that pizza was not a part of the approved playoff diet. 

“Sleep okay?” Carter asked you, taking a sip of your coffee. 

You nodded and leaned back into him, “Out like a light.”

Carter wrapped his arms around you, dropping his head so his chin rested on your shoulder. His hair tickled your cheek, causing you to smile. Across from you, both Ethan and Travis were watching you with the same sort of fond smile. 

Kora looked between the two other men, “Just say it, they’re cute,” She huffed, “Nolan, you wanna play me?”

“I’d like to see what you’re made of,” Nolan replied, holding up an extra controller. 

The following night, you, Kora, and Ethan file into the arena, ready for the next game in the series. Carter was starting in net tonight, and Travis literally wouldn’t stop bouncing all day long. You made a joke that someone needed to take out his batteries. Kora held onto Ethan, smiling as random Flyers fans high fived each other for wearing jerseys. 

“Now this is a good way to celebrate another year of hell being over,” Kora joked, “We’re all drinking tonight, right?”

“You two can have all you’d like,” E told us, “I’ll be semi sober so I can take care of both of you.”

Kora looked up at him in a way that you could only describe as love. It was weird, seeing your best friend and your brother like that. Yet, it made you happy at the same time. You liked the idea of them being happy together, come what may.

“We should get to our seats,” You told them, “Drinks later.”

“I’m going to be the only one getting drunk tonight, aren’t I?” Kora questioned. 

Both you and Ethan laughed, knowing you weren’t going to have more than a drink, maybe two. The only time you ever really got drunk was with Kora, but you wanted to be sober for this. You wanted to watch every second as the game unfolded. You wanted to be able to run to Carter and hold him after the game was over, because who knew how many more times you could do that.

Kora leaned over to you once you were all in your seats, “You have that look again, are you okay?”

You forced a smile and tried to push away the sudden sickening feeling you had in your stomach, “yeah, I’m fine.”

But you couldn’t shake the sudden feeling that you shouldn’t have come tonight. That you should’ve watched from Carter’s apartment. But you hadn’t missed a home game almost all season, and you certainly weren’t going to miss a playoff game. 

Yet, every ounce of you was screaming to run, to get away while you still could. But you knew you were safe, Zachary wouldn’t dare come near you while Ethan was here. He wouldn’t really do anything in the arena, where all of the security knew you by now. You were safe here. 

You tugged on the sleeves of your jersey, pulling them down so they covered your hands. You couldn’t help the little shiver that went through you. So instead, you pulled out your phone and looked at the last text Carter sent you, vowing to win since everyone was here. Your eyes seemed to stay glued to the part where he said he loved you and he loved knowing that you were wearing his jersey. 

Although he laughed about it at first, somehow knowing that the jersey on your back was actually his old one, and not just one you got from the team store, made him feel different. Like you were really shouting to everyone that you were his, and he was yours. He often chirped some of the other guys about their relationships, but that all stopped when he realized how much he loved you. 

Because the truth of it was, Carter could see a whole life with you. An entire future that was so bright and full of love and happiness. He hadn’t told you that yet, mainly because he didn’t want to scare you. But he wanted everything with you. He wanted a ring on your finger, you walking down an aisle all in white, maybe a couple of kids in a house outside the city one day. But for now...for now he was just happy knowing you had on his jersey while you watched him play.

You hold tightly onto Kora’s hand as the clock ticks down. Carter was so close to a shutout. How often could you say that your boyfriend got a shutout during the Stanley Cup playoffs? You were so sure that your heart would beat right out of your chest. Even E seemed to literally be on the edge of his seat. 

Sure they were still a few games off from winning the series, but this would really tip the scales in their favor. For the first time you actually let yourself think about it. About what it would mean for Travis, Nolan, and for Carter. You could almost picture them hoisting the cup. Could almost see yourself on the ice with everyone, laughing as Travis attacked you. You could almost see all of it. You could almost see all of the things you hadn’t allowed yourself to want. 

The arena erupted, fans were yelling so loudly you swore your ears were going to be rining for days. You’d even lost your own voice sometime during the second period. You spent the whole game engaging with everyone in the arena. You hadn’t experienced energy like that in years. You were almost willing to bet that you felt the same level of adrenaline as the team did. Honestly, you’d probably be just as amped up as Carter when you got home. 

“He did it,” Ethan marveled over the roar of the arena, “He fucking did it.”

Kora nearly jumped on your shoulders, “My best friend is dating a goal god!”

You were in a state of shock right up until the time you saw Carter after the game. Then it was like everything kicked into high gear and you ran to him, you even jumped so he had to catch you. A couple other members of the team whistled jokingly as you kissed him. 

“You did so good.” 

Maybe it was the bit of alcohol in your system, or the adrenaline from the game. But you seemed to forget every little problem you had. You forgot about Zachary, and the impossible decision that lurked there. Or the fact that you still had to pick who you were going to spend the summer with, if anyone. You forgot about all of it. All you wanted to do was be with all of them.

“Damn you look good tonight,” Carter joked, tugging on his jersey. 

“We should go out. All of us,” You told Carter excitedly, “Like go get drinks or something.”

“You want to go out?” Carter asked, surprised that you were the one to even bring it up. 

“I feel like dancing and having fun. Finals are over, you just fucking owned the net. C’mon, please?”

“Hartsy take the girl out,” Kevin Hayes chirped.

Carter smiled and kissed you again, “Well, let’s go out then.”

So that's what you did. All of you filed into some club that Travis knew about. You weren’t really dressed for it, although you did have a nice top on under the jersey, but you didn’t care. Not as the music seemed to fill your soul as you held onto Carter. He laughed and danced with you, both of you seeming to forget everything.

Ethan watched as you let go. He and Travis just looked at each other and smiled. Neither of them had seen this side of you since you were in high school, before Zachary broke so much of you. Ethan felt himself relax the more you seemed to smile and come alive. Kora soon pulled Ethan and Travis both onto the dance floor, insisting that all of you be together. 

Hours later, so late in fact that you were pretty sure it was morning, you and Carter were slowly making your way towards his building. Ethan, Kora, and Travis all split off a while ago so they could go back to Travis’ place. You were still so giddy, happily talking off Carter’s ear. 

He felt a sort of warmth in his chest. This was the person Trvais and Nolan talked about. He was finally able to see the you that Travis told him about for years, the you that was free. He wished he could’ve met her sooner. 

“I want to go back with you,” You told him suddenly. 

“Huh?” he wasn’t entirely sure how you’d gone from talking about wanting a breakfast beagle from the diner off campus, that certainly wasn’t open this time of the morning, to wanting to go somewhere else with him. His brain was hazy, both from the alcohol and everything else that happened. 

“To Canada, if the offer still stands?” 

You stopped walking and turned to face him. When you really stopped to think about it earlier in the night you realized that there wasn’t any other place you wanted to be. You’d be safe with him in Canada, you would finally be able to fully love him there. Nothing would stand in your way. It would just be you and Carter. Everything would be okay. 

“God I love you,” He whispered before leaning down to kiss you, “Of course the offer still stands.”

“Good,” You pulled at his neck so he would kiss you again. 

You really didn’t care that you were in the middle of a dark sidewalk in the middle of the night. You couldn’t even pay attention to the cold that was slowly working its way into your bones. Because all you could think about was his lips on yours, and the summer that now awaited you. All you wanted was that. You just wanted him. 

“Now Doll, this isn’t part of the game,” You couldn’t pull away from Carter fast enough to find the source of the voice. But you already knew. You wanted to warn Carter to run, to get away. But there was a loud sound that made your ears ring again, but in a different way from the arena. And then...there was just nothing.

[fandom-necromancer]

I’ll watch over you 2

This was prompted by the wonderful @rufina72! Enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 (Warning: Graphic description of violence)

[Part1]

Being in the army wasn’t like the movies, Gavin had quickly learned. At the same time, it wasn’t as bad as it was depicted by some either. It was just another job for him, just another way to earn his money. He had had no idea what to do after school and simply wanted to move away from his family, so it was the next-best option.

It stopped being that as they prepared for war. So far, there were only rumours about new oil findings in Antarctica, but if it would end up being true, he had no doubts they would fail to come to an agreement the civilised way. That and the fact that he failed to get along with anyone made him decide to step down. Thankfully he quickly got a job with the police after a few years of additional training. He had liked the freedom of his new job far more than his last and was able to make it to Detective in no time. Additionally, he could help out the SWAT team occasionally as he had all the necessary qualifications.

He was immensely relieved to have left the army when the revolution started. He saw androids be killed on the streets and while he didn’t like the things by any means, that was a bit drastic even to him. Sure, they were just malfunctioning machines, but they didn’t hurt anyone in their protests. It took him a while afterwards to accept he had been wrong and that these malfunctions were a real personality blossoming.

He might have needed the help of one incredible clingy bot for that. RK900, upgraded model of Connor, the most annoying android on earth, had been assigned as his partner on his own volition and while Gavin had tried the hardest to make him reconsider his decision, he had been defeated in the end. The android was competent, a true help and they complemented each other perfectly. Nines was just the right amount of patient to keep Gavin grounded and sit through his tantrums, but strict enough to know when to step in and tell him the truth no matter how bluntly. They had each other’s back and soon didn’t want to go another day without the other.

Gavin knew Nines didn’t like it when he agreed to dangerous missions without second thought. Helping the SWAT team, working in surveillance and going undercover was just the little kick of adrenaline Gavin needed to keep it interesting. He liked the danger, even though he knew Nines would worry. He was addicted to it and couldn’t say no, as Fowler offered him another one: A red ice den that kidnapped androids from the streets for their thirium. Lately they had changed tactics turning to kidnapping an android’s human and pressing the android for more and more until they could get them back. It was never meant for the gang to kidnap him though. Gavin had successfully infiltrated the den as a fist for hire and delivered his information via a heavily encrypted channel to Nines’ terminal directly. Anything he didn’t want to send; he could tell him once he was back home. They were careful to never arrive or leave at the same time, but apparently whoever kept his eyes on Gavin did so for far longer than any of them had expected. One morning, when Gavin had driven to the abandoned college building, they used as a hideout, he was met by the whole gang waiting for him. From there on he only remembered being hit unconscious and dragged underground into a dingy lit room.

He never learned whether or not they had actually contacted anyone, but by the way they grinned at him as he laid there strapped to a hard chair and called him a dirty pig, he knew they knew everything. His cover had been blown. Well, no need to play the idiot henchman any longer then. If only he had Nines by his side telling him how that was a bad idea and holding him back from cursing at them and spitting in their faces. Maybe he wouldn’t have been beaten to a pulp then. At least the gang seemed comfortable using him as a punching back in the basement only. Gavin tried to stay positive. As long as he stayed alive, he just had to wait. Nines would find him. He would know the moment he didn’t come home that something was amiss.

The door opened and Gavin looked up, hoping to see the familiar figure of his most handsome android. But who grinned back at him was only one of the other punchers. To think he had once shared a beer with this asshole… ‘What? Missed me already?’, the idiot laughed, and Gavin let his head fall back down with a sigh. ‘Just so you wait, I won’t be stuck in here for long. You on the other hand…’ It should have been intimidating, but apparently it had the opposite effect: ‘Oh, should I be scared now? Who do you think will save you?’ He looked down at his hand. ‘Detective poodle? Officer TC? Or the “Tin-Can” with a little heart next to it?’ All colour vanished from Gavin’s face. That was his phone. That were the names he had saved for his colleagues. Shit. The man in front of him laughed and held it out for him to read. He had apparently continued to send information to the DPD and also texted Nines and Tina frequently with explanations why he couldn’t come home or to their bar evening. It even sounded like him. Oh, he was phcked… ‘No one is coming for you’, the asshole laughed, pocketing Gavin’s phone again and instead pulling up his sleeves. ‘Now, let’s have some fun, shall we?’

-

Gavin felt like shit. Shittier than ever in his life. He was hurting all over from being used as a punching bag and being cut open with knifes. On top of all of that he was hungry. These assholes really needed a hobby. As the door swung open, he didn’t even look up. ‘Hello Gavin.’ ‘Go phck yourself!’ ‘Nah, that wasn’t friendly at all. Let’s try again.’ ‘I hope you rot in hell’, he spat, not even looking at the man in front of him. ‘I don’t believe in all this heaven and hell stuff. I believe we need to use the time we got in this world. So Gavin, maybe you should use yours and give us what we need, hm?’ ‘What the hell could you possibly need from me?’, Gavin tried to laugh, but his chest flared up as he tried and cut it short. ‘Well, you see, the password on your connection was changed. Would be a shame if we wouldn’t be able to keep you as our plaything, wouldn’t it? The police can’t know what we are doing here and your phone allows us to feed them false information. Just give us the password, Gavin and we might not kill you off.’ ‘I don’t know the password.’ ‘Oh, Gavin, are you sure that’s your answer?’ ‘I don’t know the phcking password, alright?’ ‘Too bad. I didn’t want to do this, Gavin but you leave me no other choice.’

-

Gavin had spent most of his time after the beating spitting blood and feeling for one of his teeth that had loosened a bit. Was dental covered by the police? Why did he think about something like that now at all times? He closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing through the pain the slight motion caused. Oh, they had beaten him up real good, he couldn’t move a muscle without something hurting. His face had to look terrible. Maybe he should be thankful Nines couldn’t see him like that.

The break he was granted wasn’t long enough to recover. The door opened and the same asshole came in, asking the same question: ‘What’s the password?’ ‘I don’t phcking know.’ He hated how tired he sounded. ‘Didn’t you learn a thing last time?’ ‘Listen, the whole idea behind this password is that I have to get it from them. For cases like this. God, I knew you were dumb, but I thought at least that had reached your-‘ He wasn’t allowed to end his sentence as the fist collided with his face. The loosened teeth fell out completely and instinctively, Gavin threw his head to the side to spit it out together with the blood. ‘Listen asshole, I-‘ Another fist collided with his jaw and let him see stars for a brief moment. ‘Give me the password!’ ‘I don’t phcking have it!’

-

They started using knifes next. Maybe they thought stepping up their game would convince Gavin. It did change something in the Detective: He began to be truly afraid. Until now, it had been temporary damage if you forgot the tooth. But using a knife would leave scars and the wounds could get infected. Blood loss was also something he had to account for. All of that had him fearing the next time the door would open and at the same time holding onto the hope Nines would come and save him. How long had it been since the last update from him? He had dropped in and out of consciousness a few times, but it felt like a day could have passed already. How long would it take for Nines to lose his patience?

The door opened and immediately Gavin started pleading: ‘Please. Don’t. I don’t know anything. I don’t know the password. I… Please, let me go.’ ‘I’ll let you go if you tell us what we want to know.’ ‘I don’t know that. Phck, I would have given you the password by now if I knew it!’ ‘I don’t believe you.’ ‘Than that’s your problem.’ Gavin just wanted it to end and it hadn’t even begun yet. ‘Err… No, no, it’s yours actually. Well then, let’s get on with it.’

-

There was commotion outside. Gavin didn’t care anymore. He just wanted to go home. Be held by Nines, those cool plastic hands soothing his bruised skin and patching him up again. Massaging his healing body that would ache all over without a doubt. God, he wanted to hear his voice again so badly. Gunshots made him flinch, but he failed to connect the dots. It was all just noise to him, shifting in and out of the next and making no sense.

Until the sounds died down and all was calm again. Gavin allowed himself to relax in his restraints and drifted off to a state of semi-sleep after the insurmountable efforts of tensing his muscles in anticipation of the worst. It didn’t help that the door was ripped open exactly then and there were hands all over him. They ripped at clothes and pressed something to his wounds that stung. He screamed and thrashed against them, managed to land a kick on someone, but otherwise was utterly helpless.

He could only scream and call out for help, plead it to end: ‘Go away! No, no, no, no! Not again, never again! Let me go!’ It didn’t help at all, as the hands stayed on him, wrapping him further in what felt like more restraints. No!

It was then that something entered his vision. In the dark room a red circle was weirdly in focus for him. He blinked a few times through swollen eyes and tears. He thought he heard someone. Someone important. They seemed to order someone around. Oh, Nines could order him around so good. Maybe if he believed it hard enough, he could manipulate himself into thinking Nines was there. Was keeping him company through this. He fixed the red ring and tried to imagine his face. ‘Nines?’, he asked, his own voice incredibly silent. ‘I’m here, Gavin. Everything is alright now.’ It didn’t speak well for his brain that it had worked, Gavin thought, but didn’t question it any further.

‘There… There were people…  Just a while ago!’ Gavin looked up at him letting all his feelings show. He needed help. He wanted someone else to take over so dearly. There were fingers in his hair, rubbing at his scalp like heaven on earth. That… he couldn’t imagine that, right? ‘They are here to help, Gavin. It is over.’ Hmm yes, Nines, it’s all over. We can go home, right? ‘They will patch you up so you can go home again.’ ‘It hurts’, Gavin admitted, now that it didn’t matter anymore. Nines needed to know whether he was real or not. ‘I’m scared.’ ‘I know’, Nines mumbled and then there were these heavenly hands on his head, lifting it up and cooling the burning flesh. ‘I’m here now. I’ll make sure they only help you get better. I would never let someone hurt you, Gavin. You know that, right?’ ‘Yes…’ Gavin was ready to believe everything as long as this voice didn’t stop talking to him. ‘It will hurt again, but they are just cleaning your wounds and stop the bleeding so you will be fine. I’ll be here. I won’t leave you. Is that okay?’ Gavin nodded, feeling like he was about to fall asleep. He could sleep now, right? Nines was right there next to him, holding him. Everything would be fine.

‘You will be fine, Gavin.’ Gavin’s full attention was on the face hovering over him, clearer now. He dared to believe this was real. ‘You will heal in no time. You did so before. You are strong and you always come back for me.’ There was the softness of careful lips on his hand and forehead. ‘You will be home soon. And then we will spend the whole day on the couch cuddling and watching movies with the cats, how’s that sound, hmm?’ Gavin smiled thinking about that. He wanted nothing more.

He only realised he was lifted up as his back connected with softer material. He immediately clawed for Nines. Where was that hand, where were these lips? Nines was here, right? Nines would stay with him! Where was he? ‘Gavin, please.’ Oh. There he was. ‘…go to the hospital… lost a lot of blood… look over… can’t go home just yet.’ No. No, Nines. Home. Please. ‘Will- Will you stay?’ ‘Of course… won’t leave your side… safe and sound.’

Gavin allowed himself to relax. Of course. Nines would stay with him. Always. There was more movement. He vaguely noticed the sound of an engine. More hands on him. The most important one a cool one on his hand, gradually getting warmer from his own body warmth. Then the hand was gone, and Nines’ voice accompanied him to sleep: ‘It’s all over now. You will be fine. I’ll be waiting for you when you come back out.’

-

Gavin didn’t wake up until light hit his eyes and he wanted to turn to his side in his sleep. Pain flaring up all over made him rise with a troubled groan. ‘Nines?’, he mumbled even before his eyes were opened. Where was this hand? This voice? He finally managed to look around. There was an empty chair next to his bed. Flowers on a table. Purple ones. He liked the colour. A lot of cards stood around them, but his eyes caught on a stuffed toy sitting on his bedside table. A small, orange cat. He smiled and reached for it, bracing the pain. It was incredible fluffy, and Gavin focussed just on that sensation for a while. He flinched as the door opened, being reminded of something else entirely. ‘Ah, shit, I missed it.’ Nines. Nines was there. Gavin looked up into that beautiful face and smiled, relaxing. ‘Thought you wanted coffee when you woke up. Doctors told me it would be a few hours. But as always, you are an impatient one.’ Nines sat down and handed Gavin the cup, who greedily took it.

‘I’m sorry I wasn’t there earlier’, the android said as Gavin put it down. ‘I should have known I had been tricked.’ ‘That’s the thing with being tricked, unfortunately’, Gavin commented. ‘You tend to fall for it.’ ‘Gavin, I should know you better.’ ‘Nines, don’t blame yourself. I should lock my work phone better.’ ‘Yeah, you should.’

‘When can I go back home?’, Gavin dared to ask finally. ‘In a few days. I took vacation time, so don’t worry. You won’t be alone.’ Gavin nodded. ‘Thank you, Nines.’ The android leaned forwards and pressed a gentle kiss to Gavin’s mouth. He pulled back before the man could deepen it and laughed at the pouting face. ‘Let your split lip heal first, then we’ll see, okay?’ ‘Okay…’ ‘It’s good to see you are better now. I was seriously worried, Gavin.’ The Detective nodded again. ‘Me too, Nines. Trust me. Never in my life have I experienced something like this, and I hope I’ll never again.’ The RK900 perked up suddenly. ‘Are you saying you’ll finally listen to me?’ Gavin smiled, cursing as it pulled at the small but painful wound.

‘Yes. No more undercover missions unless strictly necessary.’

[alias-b]

sins of my youth. 008

Billy Hargrove x OC! Evie Fenny~ Also posted to my AO3

Summary: It was common knowledge that Billy Hargrove hated Hawkins. Hated Cherry Lane. Even loathed the strange girl next door. Evie Fenny wasn’t too fond of the chaotic Cali transfer either. An awful high school tradition sparks a chain of events that changes everything, ultimately bringing two frayed souls together.

A/N: New chapter!! Revenge plots, unlikely allies, and a romantic dip. TW: Hints of teen bullying and mentions of pica. Billy's anger gets scary for a hot sec. Enjoy!!  TAGLIST OPEN!!

Chapter 8: Because My Calendar Is Open

   “Wish it was warm enough to eat outside.” Evie grumbled. Picking crust off her sandwich. 

   Ignored Carol’s cackling three tables away. All the clicking of cutlery on plastic trays grated worse.

   “How was that dinner at Billy’s?” Heather looked up from her lunch.

   “Susan had to call and cancel. I guess she wasn’t feeling well.” Evie frowned. Wondered if Neil liked her staying out late with Mona and her friends. “Rain check.” 

   Behind Heather, Steve Harrington was wandering with a tray. Looking lost as he always did this time. No longer friends with Tommy and giving Nancy and Jonathan some space.

   “Steve.” Evie piped up, pressing her lips. “Want to sit with us?”

   He blinked. Crossed. 

   “Yeah...that’s cool.” He slid into the bench next to Evie. Plastered a little charm. “Ladies.”

   “Hey.” Heather’s smile brought pink into Steve’s soft cheeks.

   “Evie, you know Hargrove is staring at you, right?” Steve started to cut into his slab of meatloaf, gesturing with his chin. “What’s the deal with that? He’s been trying to use his laser eyes since school started again.”

   Evie spotted Billy a couple tables behind Heather. Intent. He didn’t look away when their eyes met. Evie just shrugged.

   “I don’t know what you mean, he’s just annoying. Forgot he even existed.” Evie scooped up some mushy peas and gagged them down. Heather studied her.

   “He’s a little prick.” She decided.

   “He’s a dumb guy.”

   “He’s not a guy, Evie, he’s a prick.”

   Steve snickered at them.

   “You reject him or something? Seems like a persistent asshole.” Steve went on.

   “As if Billy Hargrove would ever be into me.” Evie looked away. Said that before.

   “Whatever. Billy and his penis don’t deserve you.” Heather got Steve choking on milk laughing. Some came out his nose. “Oh no!”

   “Here.” Evie was giggling too, pressing a napkin to her friend’s mouth and nose. “Heather, go easy on him.”

   “So much for King Steve, right?” A laugh followed but it sounded weak. Evie only pressed her lips.

   “Royalty is overrated. Steve is fine.” She smiled a little for him. Met his dewy eyes and pulled away. When she faced Heather, Billy was gone. “Heather and I were hitting the movies after school. Want to go with us?”

   “Like hang out?” Steve perked so Heather nodded too. All smiles. “Uh, yeah. I’d like that. I’ll drive.”

   “Perfect. We do this thing where we show up and watch whatever is playing soon. Bad or not... Oh, shoot...I gotta hit the library, I forgot to return something.” Heather winked and got up to dispose of her trash. Left Evie with the pretty boy.

   “You ride your bike in, don’t you?” Steve turned his head as Evie picked up her water. “It’s winter.”

   “Seasons change, my boy.” Evie sipped, beaming.

   “I just wondered if maybe you wanted like a ride to school and back.”

   “Heather usually is able to grab me. The before and after school extracurriculars are starting to pile for her…” She blinked.

   “You live on Cherry, you’re not out of the way for me.” 

   “I so am.” Evie chuckled and shrugged.

   “Just a ride, maybe you can help me graduate.” Steve held out a hand. “Fair?”

   “Sure.” They shook on it. “Thanks.”

   “Well, well, well.” Carol flipped her helmet of orange hair aside and settled palms flat on the table. “Fallen from grace and now sucking up to the ice queen. I hear pretty boys can thaw her though, Steve, so you might get lucky for once. Does Mr. Bowers even speak to other students, or are you just needy enough for the list?”

   “Carol. I already know the answer,” Steve touched his chest, “but, do you really have nowhere better to be?”

   “Looks like Fenny gets around, huh?” Tommy curled an arm around his girl’s shoulder. Flashed that crooked smile. “Just going down the list now.”

   Normally, Evie would have spoken up. Witty comeback. But, she just glared at the ugly cafeteria tiles.

   “How about you get lost?” Steve continued. Evie’s hands curled into her lap. The amusement from their friends just grew louder and she couldn’t stand it. Anger burned white hot and a bark stopped them all.

   “Hey.” Billy crossed back in. Few tables stopped to see him command. “Knock it off, let’s go.”

   “But-”

   “Just leave it the fuck alone, Carol. Yeah? This shit is done to death and I’m over it. You’re being really pathetic. Both of you. C’mon.” Billy flared up, head cocking. “Only gonna ask you idiots once, the fucking cackling is giving me a headache. Leave her alone from now on, unless you want a problem with me. Bye.”

   He pointed toward the door. Not joking. A few students moved to go.

   Carol and Tommy both seemed to sag and follow after them. Their friends at the table decided the fun was over and crossed out too.

   Billy cast Evie one lingering stare, ignored Steve, and went the other direction. Shoved the door to go outside.

   “Did...that just happen? What’s up with him, seriously?” Steve turned back to Evie staring at where Billy had disappeared too. Lips parted.

   “I...I don’t know.” She asserted. “And I don’t care, I gotta...go.”

   “You barely ate anything.”

   “Filled up at breakfast, not much of an appetite.” Evie forced a chuckle. “See you in class?”

   “Sure…” Steve pushed his hands into his pockets. Let her go.

** ** **

   Billy didn’t appear again from all his smoke and stars. Never quipped about those almost heroics from the days before. But, his snapping kept Carol and her gaggle off of Evie completely.

   Like magic.

   More January snow fell with the weekend. Never ending frost with a perfect blanket of peace. Icicles shimmering on every house. The whole street sparkled.

   Evie bundled and slung a bag over one shoulder. Figured venturing into town was better than sitting in a freezing house contemplating what to swallow next.

   She tried to slow. To stop. To let things pass. This habit was eating her right back.

   Evie started to pass the Hargrove house and looked up to watch the new flurries fall. Too delicate upon her cheeks. Like confetti. 

   She thought of the intimate way Billy had touched her lips with two fingers to brush a piece away before kissing her. Again and again. 

   The thought bloomed unwanted roses up her cheeks. 

   She caught a glimmer on the sidewalk right in front of Billy’s car and Neil’s truck parked there. Couldn’t stop herself from shiny things. Bent down and pulled her glove off to pluck something silver up. A chain. And a pendant came with as Evie held it out from her expression. 

   A Playboy charm. 

   Crouched there, she sighed into pure cold. Blinked and let her eyes focus on Billy’s car beyond it. Quiet and undisturbed.

   So, Evie thought.

   Lips parted when she saw the passenger side door. Even with a few splatters of snow, words came into focus.

   Carved crude and angry into the side.

   Prick.

   Bold, ugly letters.

   Evie shot to her feet. Shuddering and alert like someone was watching.

   “Oh, my god.” She puffed, cradling the chain to her chest.

   By some twist of horrible fate, the front door beyond the porch opened.

   Billy stepped out. Cool as a cucumber. Lighting a cigarette. Stunning in a brown, leather bomber.

   Feet shuffled back. She stared at Billy with this clear look of horror when he spotted her.

   “Photo will last longer, Angel, but I charge for them.” He quipped, massaging his front suggestively. Lighter flicking closed. 

   Billy hadn’t seen his car.

   Evie felt adrenaline kick in when the bus passed behind her. Steps hurried up the sidewalk to get on it without glancing back. A hand covered her lips. Evie paid and sat down. Dared to peer back at Billy’s house.

   He was standing between the vehicles. Eyes pointed on the craving. 

   And then he slowly lifted his blaring gaze to where she’d disappeared too.

   Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

   Evie thought she might have a panic attack right there. Tried to catch her breath until the bus rolled onto Main Street before a hand tugged frantically to get off. She went into the first store she saw. Grocery store big enough to hide in. Attempted again to get her lungs working.

   Maybe running wasn't the best idea, but staying to explain seemed impossible. 

   The charm left an imprint in her hand from clutching it so tight.

   Billy thought she did that. Fuck. And he was going to fucking kill her.

   Evie scurried around the aisles. Kept checking the windows for the furious, rumbling Camaro. Pulled a beanie lower and her hood up before creeping back outside to cross the street. Tucked curls aside.

   She could have blamed Heather if the charm wasn’t damning enough. Her friend had used the word prick a number of colorful times.

   Brock Tannen was fucking with them both now.

   “Shit, shit.” Evie muttered. Few residents paced to get their own errands done. The rev of an engine shot sparks up Evie’s soul. She whirled down an alleyway, figured he might just run her over.

   “Fenny!” Billy skidded halfway down the path and curved. Lunged out of his car. “Get back here! You think I won’t recognize that ass anywhere you stick it? What the fuck! C’mere!” His snarling echoed. 

   Evie was sprinting now, but Billy worked out and he was taller so he caught up easily. Two tight hands yanked her coat so hard, she skidded on slush and fell next to some stone steps. Hard thud planked her body.

   Stars burst. A groan pushed from pink lips before eyes focused on Billy Hargrove about to breathe fire and lay waste to her.

   She’d never seen such an expression on a boy before. Pure, burning fury and hate.

   Wild like he wasn’t really seeing her.

   Scrambling, Evie had also never witnessed something so frightening. Billy’s hands were on her shoulders. Pressing his steel weight down so he could snap his jaw. Starving.

   “What the fuck! You fucking keyed my car! My fucking car, you bitch?” Profanities of all sizes and colors were spitting from his lips. Evie just looked shaken and terrified at him. Realized she wasn’t talking so her brain tried to mash words together.

   “I didn’t! I didn’t do it!” She barely spoke over his rage. Hands pushed at his chest with no hope to get him off.

   For a moment, she wondered if he’d try to hit her. He just growled and yelled. Unleashing fury he might have pent up.

   “Billy! Billy, it wasn’t me!” Evie tried again. Brought her palm up so he could see the chain twisted around her fingers. “Tannen! Look! Just look, I didn’t...”

   Billy finally shut down. Went still to narrow on the charm, recognizing it.

   The fingers twisted into her coat were hauled up by bigger hands and a taller figure.

   “Hargrove, it’s too early for this, Jesus Christ.” Chief Hopper had parked his Blazer and was now smacking Billy into the side of it. He turned and noticed Evie pushing herself off the wet ground. “Evie Fenny? Are you okay?”

   Wind blew through the alley. 

   “Yeah, I…” She saw handcuffs and Billy squirmed before she sprang up. “Wait a second. That wasn't…”

   “Looked like this boy had you pinned down.” Hopper was trying to get Billy to keep still. "A new low, kid."

   “Get off me, you damn pig!”

   “Lovely.” Jim gruffed, sighing. “We’ll talk about this at the station.”

   “Wait, we were...fooling around.” Evie hurried and grasped Jim’s arm. Backed off when his head whipped toward her in disbelief. “I fell and took him with me. It was an accident. Please don’t take Billy away.” Hands clasped to plead.

   A curly head tilted toward her too. If Billy had issues with the police, Neil would snap him in half.

   “Please, Chief, just let him go. This is a big misunderstanding. Billy and I will go home. Please.” Evie tugged again and Hopper blinked a couple times.

   “Just fooling around?” He looked to Billy, who was completely simmered again.

   “Uh, yeah. I’m revved, Chief, just look at her.”

   “Okay…” Jim cringed. “Just...get out of here and stay out of trouble, kid. Drive under the speed limit, yeah?”

   “I love law, Chief Hopper.” Billy quipped. Hopper peered at Evie again so she smiled and grabbed Billy’s hand.

   “We’ll be going now. Billy owes me a ride.” She tugged, still breathing heavier. The Chief got back into his car to go, head shaking. Teenagers.

   Evie snatched from Billy and shoved him away the second the older man had gone.

   “Don’t ever come at me like that again.” Her voice tremored lower. One finger poked his muscled torso. Billy only stared. “Never again.” She tossed the chain at his chest. “Your new best friend screwed you over. Not me. Eat that up, prick.”

   Evie started walking again and saw a piece of cardboard duct taped over the nasty carving. Billy caught up with her.

   “That shithead isn’t my friend. He framed you...not very well.” Billy let the chain dangle before his face. “He’s fucking dead. My dad’s gonna ream me when he sees the car. Shit... Fucking shit!”

   Evie paused to peer back at him. Head in his hands, crouched over to curse. She slowed. A beat.

   “Look, I...I know a garage that’ll help you out with a discount. My mom’s friends with the owner and his wife. Perks.” She stuffed her hands away and looked down at her clothing. “Shit, I’m soaked.”

   “Never heard that before.” Billy joked, smirking. “Thanks...for keeping me out of cuffs.”

   “You’re an asshole still.”

   “Yeah.” He agreed, going to the car. “Get in.”

   “Why?”

   “Take me to the garage so I can get my shit fixed. See if I have enough for it.” Billy rubbed his eyes. “Fuck.”

   “Only if I drive.” Evie crossed her arms. Billy did a double take. “I have my license.”

   “No.”

   “Yes.”

   “No.”

   “Yes or I’ll walk.” Evie shot back until he tossed the keys at her to catch. Billy bitched about it, but slid into the passenger side. The engine revved so he hissed.

   “Easy...”

   “That’s rich.” Evie squealed off. Obeyed the speed limit. “Thought Tannen was your buddy.”

   “I think I punched him after the dance. I was still kinda drunk.” Billy gave an agitated breath. Sunk into the seat. “Why’s he hate you so much?”

   “Because I exist in this body with this brain and I breathe, it doesn’t matter.” Evie turned a corner. Avoided his stare. “I think he hates anything that isn’t him.”

   “Well, Tannen hates us both. Framing you and fucking with my car.” Billy paused. Got sly. “So, how are we getting him back?”

   “Revenge? No, not interested.”

   “C’mon, Angel, live a little.”

   Evie skidded to stop at a red light. Head snapping to see him.

   “Yeah, I tried that with you already.” She seethed. Billy studied her. “I’m taking you to the garage and I’m catching a bus home. My clothes are still damp, thanks for that.”

   “Brock’s date was fourteen, did you know that? He’s a piece of shit and he’s asking for it. You don’t have to like me, we can just hate the same person who hates us. Teach him a lesson.”

   “Any bright ideas?” Evie continued down the street. No answer. “Thought so.”

   “I’ll think of something.” Billy paused. “Tannen’s got a cushy little life doesn’t he? Perfect family. Girls lined up.”

   “He’s dating the daughter of a pastor. Sweet cheerleader who goes to Bates. Cheating on her because she isn’t putting out. But, she’s good for the image and for his ritzy Ridgemont family. Heather’s parents run in a similar circle. She always has dirt.”

   “Yeah? What’s Tannen like?”

   “His car and his image.” Evie parked. “Go in and drop my mom’s name. The guy’s sweet, he’ll help you out.” She tossed the keys in Billy’s lap. “See you later.”

   “Wait.” Billy hurried around the car as she got out. “Just, wait. Let’s get back at him.”

   “I don’t care as much as you do, Billy.” Evie passed with snow falling into her long, spiraling curls.

   “Sure you do, you’re just pretending you don’t.” Billy snagged her wrist. “Evie. I am fucking sorry. About the shitty dance. About school. It’s fucked and I don’t blame you for being this upset.”

   The continued groveling made her smirk.

   “Not upset.” Evie crossed her arms.

   “He flashed that money in my face and I just figured I could show you a good time and keep you out of it. But, the whole thing when I saw it...I really thought they weren’t serious about the pool. I wanted out of the deal. I kissed you after midnight. It was still fucked. The other girls, they… You know, I’ve been thinking about them too. We could get revenge for them. Shove it up Tannen’s ass.”

   “Did you fake it?”

   “Fake what?”

   “All of it.” Evie gathered the courage. “The...talking. The smiles. The laughter. Dancing with me. Why did you kiss me after midnight?”

   “I just…” Billy shrugged hopelessly. Lashes fluttering. “I felt like it. I don’t have to bullshit around you. You call me out when I do either way. I don’t know. You kissed me first and I thought...I just wanted to kiss you. I asked you to a fucking motel.”

   “And I was gonna go with you.” Evie shrugged. “But, you lied to get me there. I can’t help but feel that bullshit laced all of it. Do you understand that?”

   “Yeah.” Billy sighed. Stood there against winter. Unafraid. “Fact remains, I didn’t want anything else.”

   Evie gave a breath into the cool air. 

   Neither did I.

   “Let’s get your door fixed.” Evie went around him to go into the shop. She did all the talking to a burly man with a hook prosthetic for one hand while Billy teetered on his feet behind her. “Give him a couple hours to work.”

   “Daddy’ll miss you.” Billy huffed, digging for a cigarette while his precious car was moved away. Evie gave him this scrunched look and shook her head, laughing.

   “Well, see you around.” Evie got the back of her jacket snatched and huffed for theatrics.

   “Nice try, you think I can’t follow you all over this town? Look, grabbing you was... I shouldn't have done that. I won't come at you like that again.” Billy turned her, cigarette dangling from his lips. “Tannen.”

   “Your problem.”

   “He’s gonna be your problem too, Evie.” Billy stood over her, plucking his smoke out to puff. “If you don’t help, I might run off and do something stupid.”

   “All your life.” She cocked her head. Gave another sound of aggravation. “Just because I know I can’t outrun you. Let’s go. It’s too cold.” A hand tugged his jacket until he was walking next to her. Billy felt his stomach bubble with excitement. “There’s this place Heather and I like...up the block.”

   They walked slushy sidewalks to the corner where a little cafe sat. Teens wandered a smoky, dim lit lounge. Evie pulled her coat, beanie, and gloves away to sit. Billy stole an ashtray and followed. Peering around at all the art and empty stage. Hippy sort of place, not like other hangout spots in Hawkins.

   “The co-owned bakery next door supplies all their pastries.”

   “Broke now.”

   “I’m offering.” Evie decided. “Not cause I like you. I just don’t like to eat alone at a table.” Billy’s eyebrows lifted before he tapped his ashes.

   “You pick.”

   “Do you drink hot cocoa?” Evie watched him nod when a boy crossed over. “Jesse, hey.”

   “Fen,” the boy grinned broader, “hi.” Year younger and going to Hill Valley. Family moved a town over but kept the location for their beloved cafe. “Marty was just asking if I’d seen you around Hawkins.”

   “Yeah, let him know Heather and I said hi. First year of college any good?”

   “He likes the Florida weather.” Jesse swept his mop of brown curls aside, a million piercings along his ear and eyebrow caught the light. Broad boy who enjoyed football, painting, and the piano. Peered at Billy and blushed. “Who’s your cute friend?”

   “Down boy. This is Billy, he’s having a day that only your hot chocolate and apple strudels can cure.”

   “Where’d you get your ink?” Billy eyed Jesse’s decorated arms.

   “City, not far. I’ll write it down for you.” A wink. Billy seemed to like the attention today. Jesse turned back to Evie. “My mom tried to dye her hair in the bathroom. Didn’t go well so Mona will be seeing her this week.”

   “Ouch. Again?” Evie chuckled. “What color this time?”

   “What supposed to be strawberry sky and it’s...cotton candy pink. I liked it.” He laughed. “Sprinkle of cinnamon on the cocoa?”

   “You know me too well.” Evie let him go off then faced Billy. “High School running back. Sweetheart. I dated his older brother. Briefly before the move."

   "So, you guys still talk or...?" He faked disinterest and she snorted at the attempt.

   "Not really. I mean, we ended fine, he's just a college kid now." Evie cracked a smile, narrowing. "But, my mom’s friends with his mom.”

   “What mom doesn’t Mona know? Figure she leads the network.” Billy countered. Evie shrugged.

   “Good point, she’s a social nut.”

   “Speaking of, isn’t that her?” Blue eyes turned out the frosted windows. Mona in a short dress, fitted chic coat, and tall platform heels that rode up her knees. Nancy Sinatra would be proud. Walking with a bunch of paper bags, headed back toward her shop. Men stopped to see her bounce. “Damn.”

   “Stop looking at my mom, perv.” Evie reached for his jaw and turned it back toward her. Breath catching as she slipped away quicker. “Why’d Susan cancel on us?”

   “Dad canceled. Not Susan. He just made her do the dirty work.” Billy explained, snuffing his cigarette out.

   “He didn’t like her staying out with friends late?” Evie guessed. “What kind of husband doesn’t want his wife to have friends in a new place? I bet she’s lonely.”

   “You lonely?”

   “I have friends. Are you lonely with your fake fans?” Evie shot back, sitting up. He batted his lashes, undaunted.

   “Dad doesn’t like anything except maybe his collection of belts and a full bottle.” Billy shrugged his jacket off. Played with his ring. Head turning, the little spike hanging from his ear caught the light outside.

   Infuriating, how pretty he was not doing anything.

   “Does he hit her too?”

   “Too?” Billy snapped back in, leaning forward with his arms crossed. “What’s that mean?”

   Evie only stared at him.

   “Sorry.”

   “No, I…” Billy cursed to himself. “You probably get a front row seat. You know, he didn’t start going at Susan until the move here. She’s learning though. Quickly. How to play dad’s game.”

   “Does he go after Max?”

   “No, he’s too distracted with me and I keep Max out of trouble. He will one day when she’s older.”

   Evie looked at his hand and wondered about touching it. Billy seemed to feel it hang in the air so he sat back.

   “Bowers ever hit you?”

   “No, he doesn’t-” Evie caught herself with wide eyes. Got smaller. “He’d never hit me.”

   “So, you’re admitting it.” Billy leaned forth again. Even closer. Some instrumental and chatter covered their voices.

   “No one will believe you.” She repeated, eyes on the table.

   “No, probably not. Won’t tell even if I think it’s fucked.” He screwed his eyes at her. “How?”

   “How’s it possible for someone gorgeous to get with a girl like me?” She sounded wounded.

   “No, just...how?”

   They paused when Jesse returned. A full plate of warm, golden pastries. Two steaming mugs. Evie tipped him with a sudden smile.

   “Thanks, Jess.”

   “Anytime. Don’t be a stranger.” He looked to Billy. “You too, got it? I wrote that address down. They love taking new people if you need ink. Come in here and...show it off.”

   “I just might. Thanks.” Billy sparked with his usual charm as the boy went.

   “You love to flirt.”

   “I love to be desired, don’t you?” Billy stuffed the card away, peered at his mug before drinking. Evie followed. “So. We got time.”

   “Why do you care?”

   “I just do. I think you're interesting, Evie. This town needs a blast of color and I found it.” Billy stared. “Think I’m gonna judge you?”

   “Yeah.” Blunt.

   “Well, I’m not. Not you.” He plucked up a little pastry when she didn’t. “Don’t let me eat this whole damn plate.” Evie scoffed, breathless and took one to chew. Licking sugar from her lips. 

   “Billy, why...why are you here with me still?” She narrowed again.

   “Because,” he sparkled, “my calendar's open.”

   Evie tried to look away. To laugh him off. Couldn’t find the will and locked in.

   “Well, I don’t want to get into it here. So, let’s just enjoy the heater and sweets.” Evie reached for another flaky pastry. Billy grabbed one too. They filled their bellies in silence. Eyes locking then averting ever so often.

   “Let’s get out of here. Walk.” Billy licked his thumb. Arms crossing to lean over and see her drink.

   “You want me to spill badly.”

   “I took you out and you had a shitty time, I don't do that. I want to make up for it.”

   “You don’t like the snow,” Evie ruffled her curls, “don’t know how you’re surviving it, Cali.”

   Billy peered out the window. Let the glow bathe his face. Cool and almost iridescent. Brightening his eyes framed with those sinful lashes. 

   “You like winter?” He asked out of the blue.

   “Actually, yeah. It’s not so bad. Prefer fall. I like tucking in with a warm blanket and cocoa. I like the snow, things always feel...new after." Evie felt a distance quell. He seemed to notice it too. Wistful and vast. "It covers up what came before.”

   “Well, let’s go walk in it.” Billy pushed up. “I’ll meet you halfway and brave it.”

   Evie stared at the table. Watched him start to go before she shoved her hat on. Got up and followed.

   “If I just say that I forgive you, can we part ways?” Evie got in front of him outside. Flecks of snow tumbled into her hair. Melted on strawberry cheeks. Billy was too many colors against white and grey. Ocean blues. Peaches. Cherries. Honey. All sun kissed freckles and golden hair. 

   “We could make a bet.” Billy stepped closer to curl a devilish smile.

   “Another bet?” Her brow lifted. “No thanks, my track record with you and bets is zero.”

   “No fun at all.” Billy puffed. “Evie, the way I see it, neither of us can leave the other alone.”

   “That’s a you problem.”

   “You know you can shake me and you’re not trying too hard, I think you’re just curious enough to stick around.” Billy cocked his head. “So, I’m just saying we should chase that. It was fucked up and...I am sorry. For you and those other girls. I say that you and I hang out long enough to get revenge on Tannen and then, I swear...cross my heart as fuck all...that I’ll leave you alone once that prick gets it. Only if you want me gone.”

   “You tried this.”

   “I didn’t mean it then.” He stuffed hands into his pockets and she exhaled out her nose. Shuffled on the slick sidewalk.

   “But, you magically do now?”

   “Maybe that’s what has us stuck, we want to do something about it.”

   “You swear?”

   “Every damn day.” Cheeky shit.

   Evie’s eyes squinted at him. Sized him up. 

   “I just...I don’t forgive you.”

   “I can live with that,” he said, “for now. I haven’t earned shit. I’ll make it up to you.”

   Promises. Promises. 

   “I don’t,” Evie tried again to disengage, “I don’t think you can.”

   “C’mon.” Billy slid in front of her when she turned. Got lush. “Evie.”

   “Let’s just not make this harder than it needs to be.” Her hands lifted. Evie went around him and Billy’s arms went out aimlessly.

   “What would your Mr. Darcy do to make you feel better?”

   “What?” Evie spun on her heel, almost laughing. Billy peered away.

   “I got his name right. How’d he make you feel better? Listen, Evie...I deserve the cold shoulder. I do. It fucking…” Billy sucked in air and came to her at the corner. “I’ll level with you. I’ve been beating the shit out of myself for what happened and I deserve that. Does that help you? I can’t even get it up...you know what I’m saying? I liked it. Being there with you and I can’t change what happened after-”

   “Ick. I wish I didn’t know what you mean.” Her face screwed up. A beat to break for laughter. “Is this really that important to you?” Billy got close with those wandering eyes. 

   “Yes… It really fucking is.” He hissed lower. "Truth is, I even want more of those signature bad kisses we love to share. If you can still call them that, Angel."

   Evie huffed. Almost aggravated. Not really. Stepped back to look him up and down.

   “There’s one thing you might be able to do to make me feel better.” She crossed her arms. Brought on hands up to tap her chin in thought.

   “And?” Billy gasped out.

   “One question.” She rounded him, eyes wandered to scrutinize. “Do you still have that white button up?”

   Billy turned his head, earring dangling before he narrowed.

   “Uh, yeah....” He looked a little apprehensive when she smiled fuller. Sly.

   “We can work with that.”

** ** ** 

   Three knocks and Heather Holloway was blinking her doe eyes at an odd pair.

   “What’s he doing here?” She pulled at Evie’s arm to get between them. “What did I tell you, Hargrove?”

   “Billy’s trying to make amends, Heath.” Evie said flatter. They stood before her huge mansion on Loch Nora. “Are your parents or the housekeeper around?”

   “Not today.” Heather was still all daggers at Billy. “We don’t need Billy’s amends. He’s done enough.”

   “There’s a bigger asshole to be worrying about.” Billy spoke. “Tannen.”

   “Your buddy? I’m not so sure.”

   “No, he...has a point. But, we’re not here to discuss that. Yet.” Evie blinked. Smiled. “Can we use your pool?”

   Heather looked confused. The curls piled up onto her head bounced a little. No makeup. Lazy sweater dress. 

   “Why?”

   “It’s indoors and heated.”

   “Not heated right now.”

   “Even better.” Evie beamed when Billy’s face dropped. “Sidebar, just us girls.”

   Billy hung out on the snowy steps while they went just in the door. There was a great deal of snickering before Heather returned biting her cheek. Fully amused.

   “You can come in. Shoes off.”

   Billy stepped inside to obey, looking around.

   “Jesus, Holloway, this place… Is daddy the mayor?”

   “He runs the paper.”

   “Explains a lot.” Billy grumbled as her head snapped at him. “Easy. Not here to fight. Just...acting out Evie’s whatever Darcy fantasy to make her forgive me.”

   “Never said I would forgive you.” She noted down the hall.

   “This won’t hurt my chances.” Billy was stepping out of his shoes. Evie looped her arm into Heather’s.

   “This way.”

   He walked slower behind them to observe the place. Cheesy family portraits galore. Too many vases with fake flowers. Floral wallpaper. Rich people.

   “So, what the hell brought you two back together?” Heather had asked.

   “Not together.” Evie piped quicker. “Tannen keyed Billy’s car, framed me for it. I sorta helped him get it fixed.”

   “He, what? ” Heather paused, opening a textured glass door.

   “Yeah, big mess. Tannen’s not quitting.” Evie picked up as they went into the pool room. Odd to be in here while frost covered the back windows.

   “Probably cause I punched him.”

   Heather snorted at that, stepped on a button to bring the cover rolling back over the illuminated fresh water. 

   “You sure this is what your dream freak would do?”

   “So, sure. Don’t forget your line.” Evie flicked a piece of paper she’d written on at his chest. Billy griped when Heather laughed at him trying to get out of his coat and jeans. White shirt and grey briefs. Evie peered at his muscled thighs and looked up at the ceiling. 

   Whew.

   “You can look, ladies.” A sleazy grin bloomed. “You’re both lucky I wore underwear today.”

   “Gross.” Heather came around the pool to her friend.

   “Well, do your thing, William.” Evie giggled, gesturing. “Or should I say: Fitzwilliam.”

   “How’d a guy with that name not get his fucking ass kicked? Instead, he’s drowning in pussy, I don’t get it.” Billy stepped into the water. Bitched about the cold and sauntered to the center holding his paper up. Soaked his shirt through.

   “This isn’t even in the book.” Heather had whispered so Evie hushed her.

   “Yeah, duh, but...Billy doesn’t know that. Look how hard he’s trying. It's almost cute. Almost.” She covered her mouth. “Plus, I dreamed about this once, let a girl live here. It can happen one day.”

   “Is he like...really trying?”

   “Starting to think he is. Won't leave me alone and he...I'm not exactly running either anymore.” Evie peered at Billy turning around. Voice rose. “You look great.”

   “Bite me.” He dunked while holding one hand up to keep the line from getting wet. Came up ruffling his curls like some ethereal merman. Still stunning. White shirt clinging to his rock hard chest. Evie bit her lip with hooded eyes and missed Heather watching her face.

   “Say the line!” She called then. Billy rolled his eyes with the longest huff he could muster.

   “In vain I have-”

   “With a little life, Billy!” Heather laughed at him there. Billy sucked in to pout. Water sloshing all over to prune his fingers. Hair and face dripping. Eyelashes clumped. 

   “In vain!” He just said it louder. Slower. “I have struggled!”

   Evie and Heather had to kneel down because they were laughing so hard. Clinging together on the tiles.

   “Keep going!” Evie waved her hand and tried to breathe. Billy groaned, eyes rolling.

   “It will not do…” He’d already gotten water smudging the page. “My feelings will not be...regressed?”

   “Repressed!” Came the correction. Billy shot the rest out in one swift breath.

   “You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you!"

   “How, what?” Evie was all giggles.

   “How! Ardently! I admire! And love you!” He played a total smart ass. Smoldered. Broke. “Can I be done now? My balls are getting kinda high in here.”

   Evie cackled comically, holding her stomach and rolling before she waved a hand.

   “Yeah, yeah, you can get out. Oh, god. I can't...” She wiped her eyes and heard splashing. Scrambled because Billy was marching toward her sopping wet. Heather skidded to get away before Billy dove on Evie and shook himself out like a mad dog. Spraying her with water. “Billy! No!”

   “Billy, yes!” He pushed her shoulders down and ignored the slaps at his chest.

   They both were laughing now. Loudly. Almost free. Almost forgetting.

   Heather grabbed a stack of towels and paused to see. Billy’s infectious grin and Evie Fenny so lost in it that nothing else mattered. 

   Evie caught her friend's confused expression and shoved Billy off.

   “Okay, okay, you’re done.” Evie shot up. Cheeks rosy. “Uh, bathroom.” She got a towel from Heather’s arm and jogged away. Faster than she meant. Billy pulled up to his knees so Heather padded toward him.

   “What are you doing?”

   “Fuck if I know at this point.” Billy felt her drop a towel over his back. Pushed to his feet to see her. “Thanks.”

   “Are you actually trying here or are you going to hurt my friend again?”

   Billy ruffled his hair and wiped his face. Holding the towel over broad shoulders. 

   “Listen, only thing I know for sure is I don’t ever want to hurt Evie again.” Billy stopped after that to let it sink in. “You know her best, what the fuck else can I do here?”

   Heather’s lips turned up. Spread to show teeth.

   “You want to know what Evie likes.” Tables turning.

   “I know some stuff. Give me some more to work with. And don’t lie, we played that game.”

   Heather exhaled to study him.

   “Just because you seem to be trying and that’s the hardest my friend has laughed in awhile.” Heather peered at the door. “Evie’s a hopeless romantic even if she hides it. A regular dreaming Cinderella. She likes people unafraid to show how they feel about her and anything made of chocolate…"

   "That checks out, I can work with it."

   "That dance was cruel. You’re lucky she’s even allowing you the gift of embarrassing yourself in her presence.”

   “Noted.” Billy peeled his shirt off and wrapped the towel around his waist. “I have a change of clothes in my car. Will it be weird if I jet out in this and my boots?”

   “Ahhh, give me your keys. I’ll find it.” They paused to step away from each other when Evie returned. Towel bunched to her chest. Eyes flicking between them. Avoiding Billy’s damp chest rising and falling, his saint chain glittering and stuck to skin.

   “So, this thing about Tannen. Oof. I have an idea.” Evie cleared her throat.

   "Ohh, look at Miss Naughty Evangeline." Billy mocked with a southern twang. "Getting into the spirit. Why, now?"

   "Because my calendar is open." She cocked her head up. Looked wildly pretty there with her devious pride. “Does Tommy still have Bubbles’ number?”

   Billy flashed a smirk. Let it illuminate his face until she matched it. Heather wondered about offering them a room.

   “Angel, I’m really liking the way you think.”

~~~~~~~~

Thanks all for reading!!! I love these two so much!! As always, feel free to chat with me. Askbox and taglist are both open. ^_^

@80sbxtch​ @nottherightseason​ @orxhidshavana​ @alagalaska​ @alongcamedolly​ @kellyk-chan​ @billy--hargroves​ @10blurredsmoke10

[gravityfissure]

[meta] What, if any, games, movies, books, tv shows, etc. have you drawn influence from for your character?

Okay so round 2, much in the same vein for Arthur there are... A lot. Possibly even more things that influence and inspire where Otto’s muse and views comes from. That said in writing this there are also a LOT of similarities between the characters I can pick out certain attributes and to be honest there’s a lot of crossover with the traits and characterisations highlighted.

Namely: playful and proactive, self-serving yet loyal to those that meet his criteria as to who is deserving of it. A grifter by nature that will approach almost any situation if he feels he’ll get something out of it while equally hoping that one day someone might actually bother to ask him (and maybe give him a true reason) to stay.

Dorian - Dragon Age: Inquisition

Uh, the heir of a famous magical dynasty? A flair of magical talent that made him the envy of his peers? Studied at one of the best colleges for the magical arts before being kicked out and privately tutored before eventually vanishing and being found by Magister Gereon Alexius who offered to take him as his apprentice eventually becoming a fully-ranked enchanter. A pariah for opposing every fault his homeland is renowned for?

It’s been years since I’ve played DA:I and Dorian always was one of my favourite characters but tbh I completely forgot his background and it’s only in revisiting it now I actually realise the similarities in the framework of their characters/development/story line. Not to mention the fact they both enjoy playful flirtation and witty banter and oppose the things they don’t fit into their view of the world. They will probably do the right thing, but that doesn’t mean they might not take their sweet ass time in actually getting into a situation.

Isabela - Dragon Age II and Inquisition 

AND AGAIN. Isabela’s a great character - a pirate scourge of coastlines and nations around the world who values fun, freedom and getting ahead in life. They both value solving situations in clever and devious ways and getting ahead even if it means being somewhat selfish when they’re dealing with other people, example: Otto conning Deirdre out of $28k when she tried to cover for Regan or those plans he has to try and record a banshee scream? They’re both always down for trying to squeeze that little bit extra out of a person. If it one ups them in life and people are gullible enough to fall for it well... They really did it to themselves didn’t they?

But that doesn’t mean there aren’t depths to that hardened persona they both present. There are actual feelings and things hidden behind the wall and appearance they both present to the world. And underneath it all they’re both afraid of being left behind, but figure it’s best to push people away before they decide to leave of their own volition. At least that way they can say they have some control over the situation.. 

Sera - Dragon Age: Inquisition

Apparently this is a DA characters list but you know what sue me. x) So NEXT on the list is Sera, an elven archer who is incredibly impulsive and reactionary. She takes pure delight in humbling the established authority she views as arrogant and selfish. It’s less about what’s right in the grand scheme of things but more about what’s right in that very moment. She doesn’t believe in actions taken for a greater good, instead viewing it as just another excuse to hurt others undeserving of such treatment because it’s easier than making the truly hard choices in life. 

Felix Dawkins - Orphan Black

Look Felix is one of the many fascinating characters on Orphan Black. Don’t get me wrong there are SO many and it’s a great show. But Felix is a character whose very existence proves that you can have a very effeminate, boisterous, loud, witty gay character and not have him be limited to the perpetuation of the sassy gay friend stereotype. Why? Because he has a whole complex personality beyond just that aspect of his life. He’s got to deal with real life issues on top of all the drama clone club brings into his life and he deals and he survives and he cOPES.

Not to mention he’s a positive representation of foster children being happy, positive representation of LGBTQ+ characters and gives positive representation of sex workers. Not to mention on top of all that representation you see how he’s smart as hell, the only person who knows Sarah well enough to keep her on track. The BEST uncle to Kira and one of the most supportive characters on the show. 

Sarah - Orphan Black

Felix’s foster-sister, another character that shows the positive and complex dynamic that foster families tend to have while also demonstrating the fascinating found-family dynamic with clone club. Sarah’s interesting because she’s a natural chameleon, she’s street-smart and tough, a born outsider living on the fringes by her wits while in possession of a dark sense of humour that sees her by.

Sarah and Otto have a rather morally ambiguous compass, they’re both characters who swing between being very self-serving and selfish and acting for the greater good when they decide it’s needed. Not to mention the act as if they don’t care about other people’s issues (see clone club) when actually it transpires they both might just care a little more than they actually let on.

Garcia Flynn - Timeless

Unfortunately Garcia fits the my favourite character type: tall, dark, snarky, sassy antihero motivated fiercely by love and willing to do things of questionable morality against a greater evil, self-aware and doesn’t make excuses for his behaviour, but isn’t wringing his hands over it either.  A character who so dearly loves the people in his life (see revenge for his wife and daughter) so much so he’s still fighting for them 5 years later just to be alive and not even to have anything to do with him again because he knows the things he’s done are enough the he could never go back to being that person for them. The man who loved his mum and went on a trip just to make her happy and save his brother. When he truly cares for someone he does EVERYTHING for them while somehow having none of the toxic jealous possessive business, despite his  well-attested Garbage Drama in other departments, and just generally being a mature adult and an essentially good person who has gone down some really dark places and is finally rediscovering what he’s buried and lost. Look man, I’m a suuuuuuuuuuuuucker for found family, enemies to lovers, and villain becomes weird family member. And he covers all of those, so yes. 

There’s a lot of that I’m planning and drawing on for Otto, this weird currently antagonistic little self-serving shit who is out for his own ends but maybe along the way finds some semblence of a conscious and maybe has a fair few moral dilemmas and self-questioning moments along the way? Who maybe finds friends (and even love?) Who has to deal with FEELINGS and things he’s repressed for years because of the things he’s done just to survive the life he fell into? Uh, yes give me give me give me.

Jesse Custer - Preacher

Okay, so this one’s kind of another given. Jesse’s another character I’m fascinated with because before Genesis’ arrival he was a down upon his luck preacher. A man who was trying so hard to fit into his dad’s ideal and not let the life he had before affect his day to day. Except it all goes to hell in a handbasket because of course it does.

Jesse essentially gains the ability to make anyone do anything he says. And that power? It’s addictive, and we see the struggle he goes through to learn how to control and manipulate it to his own end. To begin with he tries to right wrongs, to tell people to stop doing the bad things they’re doing in their lives and fix them so they’re better people but with each act that power and god-complex grows. It goes to his head until we meet the moronic messiah Humperdoo and Jesse eventually agrees to take his place. The messiah-complex and power corruption is complete, and the repercussions of his choices are devastating especially with how they impact Cassidy or Tulip and the repercussions in Angelville.

Much like Otto’s own magic, the more its used the more enticing it is to carry on using it for more and more things. At first it was small deeds, little acts of good until Otto in kind started to realise that good deeds weren’t enough to make a change. They weren’t enough for other people around him and with each act it grew and grew - and it continues to grow. The question is to what level? And if it ever got out of control, would he ever know how to stop it?

Crowley - Good Omens

An overall non-threatening demon, who tries to be “evil” in his own way to fit into the role his society (other demons) expect of him. Crowley wants to save the world (for his own reasons) and can be rather self-serving in certain moments. There’s plenty of times he tried to convince Aziraphale to run away with him and let everything else forgive the irony but for lack of a better term “go to hell” but he always comes around in the end (typically to a Queen track) to help when it really counts for something.

 Not to mention his flare for the dramatic, very rarely thinking things through, with many of his own plans backfiring on him.  

Sound familiar?

Wrench - Watch Dogs 2

Part-hacker and full-fledged anarchist who wears a freaky mask with LED displays capable of bizarre emoticons. He's vulgar, crude, entertaining and an absolute adrenaline junkie who lives on the edge. He's jokingly called the wrench because he's the wrench you throw into somebody's gears to grind them to a halt.

The final one on the list, because it’s a side I haven’t yet played into so much but I’m curious to given means and opportunity to. Otto does have some inclination towards an anarchistic nature, if a system doesn’t seem to work he isn’t afraid to speak out or more likely act out against it. Whether it’s in the greater good or not isn’t so much relevant rather that he would happily take a torch and burn something to the ground if it meant starting again with something new and better in its place. It’s definitely something I want to explore more down the line.

I also find it interesting the whole concept of “hiding behind a mask” which is something wrench quite literally does. Both have built personas to defend themselves from people breaking through and seeing that what actually exists on the other side is a rather shy and awkward person who tries to “act out” and be “dramatic” in an attempt to get attention from a world in which there’s so much noise how could anyone ever feel like their voice mattered let alone be heard unless they started shouting “HEY, LOOK AT ME” at the top of his lungs?  

[angelofthequeers]

Hold Me By Both Hands: Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

Chapter 5 | Chapter 7 | AO3 link

“I can’t believe I forgot it was tonight!” Ladybug bemoans as she races across Paris to the TV studio, where hopefully she won’t be too late for Nadja’s interview. “Of course it would be tonight! Why else would Nadja have asked me to babysit Manon?”

Of course, Tikki doesn’t answer. She can’t, seeing as she’s currently powering the earrings that are letting Ladybug swing through Paris like a black-spotted Spider-Man with boobs. Not that that’s a weird thought or anything. Ladybug groans out loud. Why does her brain do this?

She has two options when she reaches the TV studio. She could walk inside like a normal person…or she could make a grand entrance like the kwami-powered, spandex-wearing superhero she is. Naturally, she picks the latter, and kicks the studio doors open before using her yo-yo to swing herself to her seat with a proper ten out of ten landing…which, of course, ends with her losing her balance and stumbling backwards into the couch that Chat Noir is currently occupying. Thankfully, she manages to salvage it by rushing to sit upright and crossing her legs, grinning as though she hadn’t just pulled a Marinette when she’s supposed to be Ladybug.

“I thought you’d decided to stand me up, milady,” Chat Noir teases, leaning back with one arm on the back of the couch like some kind of cool cat. Ladybug briefly imagines what it would look like if Adrien was in his place but has to stop before she spontaneously combusts from the thought of Adrien leaning on the couch like Chat Noir is doing.

What a way to go, though.

“And let the audience down?” Ladybug chirps, praying that her inner anguish isn’t obvious outwardly. “Never! I’m sorry I’m so late, Nadja.”

I wish Adrien really was Chat Noir, she thinks grumpily. Then we would actually like each other –

She breaks off that line of thought before it goes too far. The more she thinks about it, the harder it is to cool her feelings for Adrien, and the more stress this will cause her. And the more stressed she gets, the more her brain short-circuits and she starts stammering and fumbling everything.

“Good evening!” Nadja says into the camera, and Ladybug’s heart leaps into her throat when she realises that they’re on air and she probably looks like she’s a million miles away. “I’m Nadja Chamack and this is Face to Face! For our first edition, I welcome the beloved guardians of Paris: Ladybug and Chat Noir. Hello!”

Ladybug and Chat Noir wave at the camera when it turns to them. A bead of sweat rolls down Ladybug’s neck. This is way more stressful than she’d thought! She needs to guard every word carefully, make sure that nothing that’s said is potentially revealing, because there’s no way she’ll be able to look Tikki in the eye if she breaks her word to her kwami and reveals secrets that shouldn’t be revealed. At least when she’s fighting an akuma, she doesn’t have to worry about the akuma trying to pry into every tiny detail about her life. Maybe Tikki had been right about this.

They get the “welcome and thank you for being here slash having us” pleasantries out of the way, with Ladybug having to suppress a giggle when Chat Noir is a colossal dork and takes a bow for his fans. They may be less numerous than Ladybug’s, but they do exist, and they can count Marinette among them, not that she can really say that right now.

“It’s obvious you two are very close!” Nadja says after a little Ladybug and Chat Noir banter. Once again, Ladybug’s cursing her crush on Adrien because Chat Noir’s flirting, as dorky as it is, is actually kind of sweet and endearing. Maybe she can imagine Adrien as Chat Noir so hard that her crush transfers and everything can be ten times easier, since she knows for sure that Chat Noir’s into her. Probably too much to ask, though. Not even Ladybug can be that lucky.

“People know you, but they don’t really know you,” Nadja continues, unaware of Ladybug’s internal battle. “We see you saving Paris, but we don’t know anything else about you!”

“We won’t be keeping anything from you, Nadja,” Chat Noir says.

“Well, we have to keep a few secrets, including our identities, of course!” Ladybug corrects. Just their luck, Hawkmoth might be watching this, waiting to latch on to any morsel of information they give.

“Absolutely!” Nadja agrees eagerly after a glance at her wristband. “How about we start off with a few questions from your biggest fans?”

What follows is…interesting. Chloé spends her call puffing herself up and throwing her weight around, Alya treads on Nadja’s toes by asking for an interview for the Ladyblog, and Manon accidentally lands Marinette in hot water on live TV by letting slip that Marinette’s not there. While Ladybug’s still freaking out and trying not to blurt out something embarrassing on air, Nadja quickly ends the fan call segment and things get even more interesting. Embarrassing and infuriating might be better words. Yep, this is why Ladybug only ever does interviews for Alya if she can help it.

“Ladybug, Chat Noir,” the reporter says. “So, a lot of fans think of you as a couple of superheroes. But also, and I quote unquote, “as a couple”, period.”

Ladybug’s heart instantly starts to race again. Oh, no. This would be easier to deal with if she could be certain that Chat Noir wasn’t going to jump in headfirst and revel in those rumours. She loves her partner – she really does – but sometimes, he just has no sense of boundaries whatsoever.

“What?” she bursts out. Nadja doesn’t notice her panic.

“Can you confirm that you’re dating, here, tonight?” Nadja presses on, and annoyance immediately starts to set Ladybug’s jaw. Why do fans want to stick their noses so far into celebrities’ lives? Why is there no such thing as privacy? Haven’t she and Chat Noir earned that much at least? It’s not like they’re movie stars or anything; with them, personal questions could literally be the difference between life or death. Her heart starts to break even more for Adrien. If this is how she feels after a brief intrusion, how must he feel every single day of his life?

“I – I’m very sorry, Nadja, but we’re superheroes,” Ladybug says firmly, waving her hands as if to ward off the intrusive question. “We’re not here to answer such personal questions.”

“Meow! My Ladybug’s grown claws!” Chat Noir teases. Ladybug wishes she could snap that this isn’t the time, but they’re on live TV and she doesn’t want to do anything to threaten their united front.

She tries to defuse the situation by turning the subject to the safety of Paris, but Nadja won’t be deterred. Instead, she ploughs on by showing a picture of Ladybug kissing Chat Noir – to save him when he was under Dark Cupid’s influence, why else would she kiss him? – and Chat Noir’s shock only seems to egg Nadja on.

Ladybug wants to cry when Nadja shows more pictures of them that could be construed as romantically intimate, except for the fact that they were simply having fun as friends or saving Paris at those times. How is this fair? What right do these journalists have to pry into their lives just for views? And Chat Noir doesn’t help when, instead of shutting down the rumour mill, he actively encourages it by expressing a wish that they’ll be together someday. Doesn’t that cat see what’s wrong here?

“That’s enough!” Ladybug finally bursts out, shaky and at her wit’s end and a second away from having a meltdown unbefitting of a superhero after Nadja’s pressure to admit something false as the truth. The studio lights around her are so bright, her heart’s hammering in her chest, she can just imagine the whole of Paris in that studio, gawking at them, treating them like little dancing monkeys, and she needs to get out of there or she’s going to scream and cry. “This interview is so over!”

She drags a protesting Chat Noir out, though thankfully he’s on her side when she shuts down Nadja’s protests about the show not being over. It’s not until they’re on top of a tall building near the studio that Ladybug can finally relax, the panicked adrenaline in her system still ramping everything up to eleven but not as bad as when she was trapped in that situation. Though Chat Noir still doesn’t understand what’s got her so distressed, as evident by his flippant remark about the price of stardom.

“We’re not stars! We’re superheroes!” Ladybug snaps, tugging at her pigtails. “And I couldn’t – I can’t – I thought you back my had!”

“Uh…had your back?” Chat Noir says. Ladybug lets out a scream of frustration and slumps down on the roof, stomping her foot as though this can relieve the pressure building up inside her. “Are – are you alright, milady?”

“No!” Ladybug wails. She takes a deep breath to try and calm down. “You’re supposed to be on my side, Chat!”

“Of course I am!” Chat Noir sits down next to her. “What made you think –”

“When people start asking about our personal life like that, you’re supposed to help me shut them down!” Ladybug says, blinking rapidly to try and hold back the tears threatening to fall. The last thing she needs is to start crying like a baby in front of her partner. “Not only is that none of their business, but it’s not right! We’re not together!”

“I thought you didn’t mind my flirting,” Chat Noir says.

“I don’t! But there’s a time and a place, and that’s not when a reporter’s trying to push us into a fake confession just for views!” Ladybug shivers and hugs her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth so she doesn’t start stomping her foot again because she needs to let out this steam somehow and rocking has less potential for harm than stomping. “That was hugely disrespectful to both of us, Chat. And…and you crossed my boundaries by encouraging her. That’s not cool.”

“I didn’t realise,” Chat says quietly. He shuffles closer to her, wrapping an arm around her only when she nods her permission. “I’m sorry, milady. I didn’t realise how uncomfortable you were. Are you okay?” he adds in alarm, and Ladybug dimly realises that her cheeks are warmly wet.

“I feel like the worst person ever,” she says thickly, wiping her face dry, and her magic suit isn’t even damp from cleaning her face. “There’s a boy at my school – Adrien Agreste, you have to know him, right?”

“Can’t exactly miss him,” Chat Noir mutters.

“You can’t tell anyone but…I’ve got the biggest crush on him, kitty. I had pictures of him up and I knew his schedule and everything, like some stalker! Okay, so I’ve got all my friends’ pictures and schedules up too, but it’s kind of hard to focus on that when I literally stole Adrien’s phone to delete an embarrassing voicemail so he wouldn’t think I was a loser, and it doesn’t help that my autism means I can really fixate on what I’m interested in if I don’t keep my hyperfixations and special interests in check –”

“Hey. Hey. Breathe, Ladybug.” Chat Noir grabs her hand with his free one and squeezes. Dimly, Ladybug comes to the realisation that she’s not breathing – her chest is burning – she squeezes Chat Noir’s hand back and forces herself to suck in massive gulps of air, then crosses her legs like she does when meditating with her mother on weekends. Even if she can’t push herself into that headspace with close to a meltdown she is now, the familiar action is just calming enough to loosen the iron band around her chest.

Just breathe. In…out…in…out…

“You know, I don’t think he’d mind having you as a stalker, milady,” Chat Noir adds. Ladybug glares at him, so he grins sheepishly and holds his hands up. “Sorry. Just trying to cheer you up a bit. Bad timing.”

“I mean, I love the real him, of course,” Ladybug says. Although her voice is shaky and high, at least she can actually word right now. Chat Noir’s presence is doing wonders, despite his annoying lack of timing when it comes to jokes. “I know an Adrien model smile from the real thing, and I’d like to think I know a little bit about the real Adrien. But I didn’t even realise how sick he must be of always being in the spotlight and having fans who claim that they know the real Adrien when they don’t! And I could still be one of them!”

“Milady –”

“Now I know how he must feel,” Ladybug says miserably. “Those prying questions…trying to dig up our personal lives for a scoop…I never realised until now how hard it must be for him. And I just feel even worse because I was one of those people feeding into it!”

“It doesn’t sound like it to me,” Chat Noir says after a moment. “I mean, from what you’ve said, you never rushed after him like some rabid fangirl.”

I can’t even talk to him without messing my words up, Ladybug thinks darkly.

“It sounds to me like you really do like him,” Chat Noir continues, squeezing her with the arm he’s got around her. “And I don’t think he’d blame you for getting that tangled up with perfect Adrien Agreste.” There’s an odd note of bitterness in Chat Noir’s voice when he says those words. “I mean, being that famous, he’d be forced to project that perfect image, right?”

“But that’s why it’s so confusing.” Ladybug wipes her nose, grimacing at how unheroic she must look right now. She takes a deep breath and chooses her next words carefully. “I don’t think he’s the one putting out that image and pretending like model Adrien and real Adrien are two different people. I interact with him enough to know that he’s so…genuine. He doesn’t pretend to be someone he’s not. I think it’s the public that latches on to what they’re given and blow that up into perfect prince Adrien, like how people do with YouTubers and other celebrities like that, you know? And I’d like to think I at least know a bit about him – especially because I didn’t even know him before I met him, so I wasn’t blinded by that image – but…when people around you are so enthusiastic about the image they create, it kind of…”

“Rubs off on you?” Chat Noir says quietly.

“Exactly,” she agrees. “I mean, we put out a united front as Ladybug and Chat Noir – and we are friends and partners – but we don’t actively go around building an image. We just do our thing and the public decides how they see us, like in that interview. I just…never realised exactly how Adrien must feel until now. And now I love him even more, even though I’m trying to just see him as a friend because then I won’t be such a mess! At least if we’re friends, I won’t have to stress about getting worried over who else likes him and whether he thinks I’m being weird and…my kwami told me that friendship is just as important as romance. I think she’s right.”

“I know he’d love to have you as a friend, milady. Who wouldn’t? And I think he’d be happy to know you’re thinking all of this,” Chat Noir says. When Ladybug looks up at him, she can’t for the life of her figure out why he’s got such an odd look on his face. “He’s the sunshine prince of Paris. I’m sure the fact that you and his friends don’t buy into that and don’t chase him all over the place makes him happier than you could ever imagine.”

Ladybug blinks and opens her mouth to reply to that, only to be interrupted by one of the big TVs near them flickering to display an image of a redheaded woman with electronic blue skin and clothing, who introduces herself as Prime Queen. Her face looks more like a projection of a vaguely human face than an actual face itself.

“Nadja?” she and Chat Noir exclaim. This is not good. This is so not good. How could she have known that Nadja would get so upset over that interview? A small part of Ladybug can’t help but think that this is Nadja’s fault, that she shouldn’t have pushed and disrespected them just for some scoop, before guilt floods into her stomach at the thought. How can she even think that? She shouldn’t have been so rude to Nadja. Would it have hurt to play along? It’s not like Paris knows anything about them, and she and Chat Noir do look pretty close – but she hates liars, there’s no way she could just play along with one –

“Milady, it’s not your fault.” Chat Noir, as observant as he is dorky, seems to immediately notice the path that Ladybug’s thoughts are taking, and he grabs her hand again and squeezes it. “You were right. She should’ve respected us. I just got so caught up in fame that’s different to my –”

“Tonight, Ladybug and Chat Noir disappointed all their loyal fans by refusing to admit their love for each other!” Prime Queen continues, cutting off Chat Noir. Although she’s grateful that he’d been stopped from revealing potentially identifying information, Ladybug can’t help but admit that her curiosity is piqued. “I’ve prepared some trials to see just how far they’re willing to go to keep the truth hidden from us!”

When Prime Queen ends up jumping through her screens to kidnap Chloé and hijack a subway, everything just got real is Ladybug’s only thought. At least she’s got Chat Noir by her side, who she now feels even closer to after their conversation from just before. There’s no one else she’d rather jump through a screen with to save a spoiled brat than Chat Noir.

.

“Can you believe it?” Adrien sighs, falling back onto his bed as he releases his transformation. His body feels so light that he’s practically floating on clouds, despite his leaden limbs from his battle with Prime Queen just before. “Ladybug has a crush on me, Plagg!”

“That’s nice,” Plagg says. “You know what’s even nicer?” He zooms for his mini fridge full of Camembert with a whoop.

“Plagg, you don’t get it!” Adrien insists. “I love Ladybug and Ladybug loves me! She wants to be my friend! She’s crushing on me!”

“Oh, I do get it,” Plagg says. “You had a nice talk with her about how the public turns you into some perfect prince and all you can take away from that talk is that she likes you.”

“I never said that wasn’t important,” Adrien retorts.

“I never said you didn’t think it was important,” Plagg shrugs, downing a wedge of Camembert in one gulp. “But I’d think you’d be happier that someone’s realising that the image the public projects of you as some flawless sunshine child is a load of processed cheese.”

“Processed cheese?” Adrien blinks.

“Yeah! Those disgusting packaged slices don’t even deserve to be honoured with the name of cheese. They’re edible plastic!”

“What the heck are you saying, Plagg?”

Plagg abandons his Camembert and floats up to look Adrien dead in the eye. The fact that Plagg is leaving his cheese for a talk is so drastic that Adrien can’t help but give the little cat kwami his undivided attention.

“I get it, kid,” Plagg says. “You’re in love with Ladybug. And I don’t think you’re just infatuated or building up a perfect image of her or something. I think it’s real and I think you know her as Ladybug better than anyone else. But how good are your chances of wooing her as Chat Noir when she’s interested in Adrien?”

“I just have to nudge her into liking Chat Noir,” Adrien insists.

“No,” Plagg says. “She won’t be open to your advances as Chat Noir. Not unless she knows that Adrien and Chat Noir are the same person, and you can’t reveal your identity, especially not for something as selfish as that.”

“What’s the point of this?” Adrien says.

“The point,” Plagg says testily, no doubt wanting to go back to his cheese rather than be stuck lecturing some lovesick teenager, “is that you need to focus on what you do have. What don’t you have? A romantic relationship with Ladybug. A father who actually spends more than five minutes a month with you. What do you have? Friends who like you as Adrien. Friends who you used to sneak out to see even though your father never let you go. A superhero partner who thinks you’re awesome, and you’ve got a special friendship with her that no one else does. You two are like cheese and crackers. Quit acting like romance is the most important thing and focus on the friends you have. She’s already getting it when she says that friendship with you is just as important as being with you.” Plagg scowls. “Man, Tikki’s always the annoyingly responsible one. Makes me look bad just because I don’t like giving these silly speeches.”

“You’re saying I should just…give up on her?” Adrien says. Plagg lets out a cry of frustration.

“Where did I say that? You’re treating a relationship with Ladybug as way more important than the friendships you do have as both Adrien and Chat Noir, when friendship is just as important as romance! You humans have a weird habit of acting like one form of love is better than the other. Keep your crush on Ladybug but stop acting like romance is the most important thing. Be happy being her friend. All Ladybugs and Chat Noirs are destined to be close. It’s part of that yin and yang balancing poetic schtick. So even if you never get married, she’ll be your best friend for life. And you should be happy with that. No matter what, she’s always going to be someone you can count on, and you’ll always be the same for her.”

Silence falls on the room after Plagg’s speech. Adrien just blinks, trying to process not only his words but also the knowledge that Plagg isn’t just a bottomless stomach. But then, that makes sense. Plagg is the literal god of destruction and he’s been around for thousands of years, so of course he’s going to have a serious side.

“You were picked to be Chat Noir because you can be brave and selfless and put others before yourself,” Plagg concludes. “Don’t act like a spoiled brat and prove Master Fu wrong.”

“Wow. I never knew you could actually be wise and –”

“You gotta get me more of this Camembert!” Plagg says loudly, zooming back to his cheese. “This is divine.”

Adrien lets Plagg go back to devouring his cheese, instead rolling onto his side and sighing. “I know that I don’t know too much about Ladybug but…I know more about her than anyone else does. I know she’s feisty and confident and independent. She’s so sure of herself, like how she stood up to Hawkmoth when we were taking on Stoneheart! That’s why I love her so much. She always manages to get us out of sticky situations and save the day.”

“This is why you should love Camembert,” Plagg says. Adrien’s not sure if the kwami had completely ignored everything he’d said or if he’s just blocking out the ‘sap’. “Camembert’s so much less complicated.”

“Goodnight, Plagg.”

[2k18leo]

TMNT 2007 talk

Okie dokie since we’ve been on hiatus for a long long time, but I still want to talk turtles, I figured I’d talk about the TMNT 2007 film again. If you’ve been with my account for a while you may know what a huge fan I am of this particular movie (of course I love the other films and may talk about them at a later date, but this one just hits differently for me mainly because it’s what got me into the Ninja Turtles in the first place) 

So, I have already briefly covered my take on the 2007 film as a whole.  Aaaand, @my-sai-and-i _and_i wrote a post that goes in depth about the emotional scarring that the fight had on Leo and Raph. It’s a wonderful post and you should def check it out 👌🏼

I am currently watching the 2007 film (yet again (HA what is my count up to now? Can’t keep track. Lol moving on—)) and once again I am breathless at the climactic fight BATTLE that Leo and Raph have. Every single time I watch it, my love for the franchise grows even more. I think this may be because I’m actually such a fan of the TMNT trope that is the constant butting heads of the two oldest brothers (oof sorry not sorry 🤭). I’m also going to talk mainly about this fight scene because it’s literally the EXACT scene that I started watching when I was first introduced to tmnt. That is already talked about in another post, however 😂

Okaaay, let’s get into this thing. First off, the score for this chase scene is already making you very anxious for some sort of confrontation between the two boys. It gives you chills right off the back. Whenever Nightwatcher accidentally cornered himself I got to thinking what it would have been like if we had seen Leo and his trip out into the city instead of the diner scene with the 12th monster. Like, was he just out looking for Raph and heard police scanners saying there was an issue with the diner? Then he headed over to possibly help, but ran into the vigilante Nightwatcher. I can only assume he was already looking for Raph since Splinter right beforehand advised Leo that he needed to get off his high horse and work things out with Raph. Since April and Casey were in the lair, I’m sure Leo didn’t expect Raph to go back to their apartment. He probably went around to their old hangout places in the city (before Leo was sent to South America) but since he had been gone so long, maybe he figured his brothers didn’t hang out anymore since it wasn’t all four of them. Sure, Casey’s a great friend, but never a replacement for one of the turtles. Leo could have also gone back to the construction site that they had partly demolished with that first monster a couple nights prior. Raph did make a point in saying that they needed to find out who was responsible for the sudden burst of creatures in New York. Don’t get me wrong, learning where the 12th monster was when Raph fought it was important I guess? I mean, it made the stone generals stationed in the area, but still not THAT close to where Raph and Leo ended up (they ran quite a ways. A mile at least.)

Okay, back to the rooftop scene. The setting was beautiful and I just— *chef’s kiss* love it. The rain. The red glow of the Red Eye Club sign. Which, I’m just now thinking about this but if an English teacher was asking you what the red sign symbolized I do believe that that could be some sort of symbol/foreshadow that Raph will be the one who comes out victorious in the upcoming brawl. In case I’m not completely giving that a whole-ass stretch, I looked up the Red Eye Club to see if it was a real place but all I got were a bunch of pictures of marijuana so I’m gonna assume NOPE. It could be a minor detail or it could just be a coincidence 🤷🏽‍♀️ I mean the neon sign did not have to be red specifically. Lol don’t @ me 😂

Anyway, I love the way the rain falls on the metal of Raph’s armor. I can only imagine how much of a BITCH that rain was to animate. 

Leo starting off with the good cop persona is very in touch with his character and I like. He’s still the “talk first, shoot later” wise character we LOVE, while Raph is so much the opposite (which we LOVE JUST AS MUCH (ugh sorry im gushing again)). I like how Raph stayed silent. He didn’t give his identity up. He didn’t try to stop Leo from starting a fight. He WANTED to fight Leo. And this was the perfect opportunity without Leo holding back by being aware of his own brother under the suit. It’s sort of like a Red Hood/Batman type scene. And, it’s hardly audible but, Leo then continues to try and calm down the vigilante by saying “The road you’re on is a dead-end. Believe me, I’ve tried it.” He has no idea who is behind the mask. For all he knows, he’s talking to a complete stranger, yet he is still trying to be the voice of reason. The Nightwatcher could be a deranged murderer for all he knows. He is only aware of what the News has been recently saying. You can tell he doesn’t know everything about this vigilante (which, side note but, this all seems a bit hypocritical if I’m honest. Up until Donnie and Mikey got jobs, all the turtles/Casey/possibly April did was vigilantism. I mean, does Leo think that the Nightwatcher is correlated with the monster sightings? Is that his main reason for being a vigilante to stop a vigilante??) ALSO when Leo said “…believe me, I’ve tried it” is that referencing his time in South America? I know he “got caught up in his own world” and “forgot about everyone else” but does that necessarily correlate with what he’s talking about? Did something really bad happen in South America that we didn’t see? Did he become like Hawkeye (cough* Ronin) in Endgame? 

This also makes me wonder what would have happened if Donnie and Mikey had gone out to help Leo search for Raph. It could have been like a Teen Titans scene where Robin was posing as Red X and the rest of the titans unknowingly fought their ally because he was seemingly just another villain. If things played out that way, I’m not even sure that Raph would have put up much of a fight. He didn’t have any major beef with his younger brothers. The scene would have probably been way less emotional as well. Plus, Leo probs wouldn’t have been captured. 

Whenever Raph first wields his weapons, signifying he’s ready to fight, Leo gives a very small smirk. He wants to fight as much as Raph does. But for different reasons. Raph knows his opponent and is angry with him— furious even. Leo… I think deep down he loves to fight. He knows he’s good at it. He knows he’s going to win. But it’s probably been a long time since he’s actually felt that great adrenaline rush of a fight (yes, I’m aware he was in the fight with the first monster but that’s not a one-on-one duel) Which is why when he says “Trust me when I tell you. You don’t want to do this” he says it in a way that he’s still trying to be the voice of reason… BUT it’s also very much a threat. He’s been wanting a proper fight for a while. There’s a certain thrill I’m sure he gets when he’s faced with someone who is probably an even match for him. Even with the threat he gives, he’s fully aware that his opponent will strike. 

COCKY LEO. 

I’m not going to even try to get into the subject as to why on earth Leo cannot recognize his own brother under the suit because @my-sai-and-i already explained that WAY better. 

I mean, Leo is chuckling as the Nightwatcher does his second swing. It’s funny to him because he still knows he’s going to win this fight. There is no doubt in his mind that he will defeat this amateur clown in a costume. But this is the way, I’m absolutely positive, Leo acted as a teenager to common criminals on the streets.  He’s always known how good he was at fighting, so I can bet money he was cocky growing up. And yeah, it’s way different than how he was fighting the raiders in the beginning of the film. Back in South America he acted all dark and silent, more than likely trying to keep up the persona of the Ghost of the Jungle. If he acted all cocky and obnoxious to the raiders, I’m sure word would get out, which might frighten the villagers even more. Being his sneaky stealthy self, he was less likely to scare the villagers, and probably able to keep up the thought that he was just a peaceful legend (kind of like Katara as the Painted Lady in Avatar (I’m referencing soooo many other things, but it makes sense to me 😂)) So, now that Leo’s back in the place where he grew up, of course, his old cocky tendencies would come back. It’s almost nostalgic for him. 

Another thing. Leo is completely defensive for the majority of this fight. He hardly ever throws an actual blow. He jumps back out of the way when the Nightwatcher swings his chain at him again. Which is a completely smart move. Another reason to note that he KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING. He’s fought for about 20 years (we don’t actually know their ages in this movie (or do we ?) but I would guess around 18-20 ??) so he’s fully aware of the fact that one of the best fighting techniques is letting your opponent tire themselves out so you can then finish them off and become victorious. But Raph’s temper has always led him to go guns blazing. Shoot first, questions later. 

Leo continues to mock the Nightwatcher because he knows he’s going to get a rouse out of him. He spent a good enough time sparring with Raph to figure out how to egg on that temper. A temper that would then make Raph angry and thoughtless, thus becoming rash with his fighting technique. Ultimately becoming careless and in total defeat. Again, don’t get me started on how Leo has NOT recognized his brother yet. Even after Leo has eluded yet another strike from the chains and the Nightwatcher turns around, Leo still gives a CHUCKLE to his face. He’s begging for that temper to be released. He’s ready for a real fight. And Raph’s more than ready to finally kick his big brother’s ass. 

Raph absolutely takes on the offense with a full charge to Leo as he does three heavy swings. Leo eludes all three until coming back with a counter-attack on the third. Leo does a fair job of holding his defense until Raph throws a huge right hook to the side of Leo’s head. I mean, it’s enough to knock him back a few paces and shake it off. This is when his face really goes completely serious. He’s just been caught off guard. There’s something in him that’s telling him to quit the wise-guy act. I mean, it was a simple punch, something I’m sure he is mentally beating himself up for misreading. Yet, he doesn’t charge back. He stands his ground while Raph is still the offender. 

Then Leo tries to continue to coach this dude by telling him how anger is destructive. This is probably something Splinter did as they were growing up. Also, Leo never once unsheathes his weapons on the Nightwatcher (yes, he ultimately does with Raph, but that’s later on. Hold tight, my dude). Even when the Nightwatcher drew out his chains, Leo didn’t react by drawing his own blades. I feel like being able to hold your own during hand-to-hand shows power/strength, while fighting with weapons shows skill. Which is another reason why I think Leo teased him at the beginning of the fight; he didn’t really expect this vigilante to have had any actual training with these weapons. He’s probably just some punk who thinks it’s cool. Another Casey Jones or Purple Dragon that could probably be knocked on his ass in 3 hits max. 

Leo’s uppercut is powerful as hell. He shot Raph like 6 feet in the air. And that can’t be easy. I can’t imagine how much these boys weigh. They’ve got the mass of a typical bodybuilder + the weight of their shell + the weight of their weapons PLUS Raph’s entire armor. That’s heavy as hell. 

Okay. The “Goodnight, Dark Prince” line. I don’t like it. It doesn’t seem to fit. When has this character ever been referred to as the Dark Prince? The only other thing Leo has referred to this vigilante is Nightwatchmen. Though, I get that it would be kinda redundant to say “Goodnight, Nightwatcher.” 

That’s another thing. Leo never meant to kill this dude. Just knock him out to drop him off at the police station later. Leo doesn’t kill. I mean, the very beginning of the film where he had his one-on-one with the raider leader almost implied that he killed him. Because the shot changed as soon as Leo made contact with the guy and all you hear is a loud scream making a flock of birds fly away in fright. If he was dark enough to kill these types of men (because IF he killed him, that probably wasn’t the first guy he had killed) in South America, that’s most likely the “dark path” / “dead-end” that he was referring to earlier. But I guess being back in the city does make him revert back to his old tendencies (but it shouldn’t completely disregard whatever messed up shit he had done in South America. That stuff should still be carried with him). Not even Raph is low enough to kill criminals. In his first scene in the film all Raph does is knock out some burglars and chain them up for the cops to find later on. It makes me wonder what would it have been like if Raph had gone to South America instead of Leo, while Leo stayed in the city. Would Leo have taken on his role of his own Nightwatcher? In the 2012 series, we see him become some sort of vigilante but he’s got Karai and Shinigami with him. It doesn’t seem very in character for Leo to go solo like Raph did. Of course, Leo would still miss the fight, but I’m sure he’d wise up and get a job just like his younger brothers. 

Okay, here we go. Here’s that brother angst we’ve been waiting for. When Leo first realizes who’s actually behind the mask, he’s not angry. He’s not mad. Not even disappointed. He’s really just shocked out of his mind. Complete disbelief. He just walks closer to Raph in hopes to talk to him. Perhaps apologize for fighting him just moments before, that he truly had no idea. But Raph doesn’t even turn to face his brother before doing a powerful back kick to Leo’s chest. Which, of course, takes Leo by surprise. Sure they had had a couple arguments since he’s been back but honestly that’s how Leo remembered things being with Raph. He remembered small quarrels. Nothing serious. They had always butted heads. Even though Splinter warned Leo that Raph had taken Leo’s absence pretty hard, he didn’t really know what that meant until now. He didn’t understand why his brother had so much pent up rage toward him. 

And Raph is throwing all these words at Leo. Calling him out by saying that he believes the world revolves around him. That they couldn’t possibly survive without him. I’m sure these words sting a bit to Leo but that’s not what he’s focused on. He’s starting to register everything. THIS is why Raph has always had an issue with him. THIS is the reason for his younger brother’s constant attitude. And when Raph says that they got along just fine without Leo, for a split second, you can totally see the pain that causes Leo. Like, that shit hurted. But he raises his voice and retaliates by calling him out on his bullshit. He’s telling Raph how immature it is that he’s taken up this new persona (*cough* still a tad hypocritical since he did basically the same thing as Ghost of the Jungle) because it’s causing danger to their family. I mean, at least the villagers were never truly afraid of Ghost, but the citizens of New York are terrified at what the Nightwatcher is and his motives. It’s all they’re talking about on the News lately. Raph has been causing a panic without even realizing it because he’s been too blinded by his own good intentions. 

But Raph doesn’t want to hear it. Leo hasn’t been around. He left. He wasn’t there when the turtles were just sitting by without a leader while criminals still ran amok. I mean, Raph has been angry at the thought “why does Leo get to go?” “What are we supposed to do now?” And with Donnie and Mikey being too passive to stop Raph, there really isn’t anyone around to keep Raph from straying from this road. How can Leo honestly expect things to go back to normal?? How can this big shot waltz back into our lives after he’s missed the last year and a half? And how the hell does he think he’s still the boss of me? 

And now Leo is trying to explain to him that the reason for being gone so long was to better himself for Raph and the boys. It wasn’t up to him to go to South America and be gone for so long. He didn’t ask for it. Just like Raph never asked to be second best. He didn’t want someone to lead him. This is just how things turned out. Neither of them can help what they went through in the past. It’s just a recipe for disaster when one party is trying to be the best they can be for the other party and positively beats themselves up if they let the second party down. Aaand when the second party is completely resentful of the first party because they were chosen for the role the second party wanted. Leo can’t get over the fact that no matter what he does to better himself for Raph, Raph will still disregard it. And Raph can’t get over the thought of the living embodiment of perfection that is his older brother, so he’s angry with himself for not being as perfect and takes it out on Leo. 

And Raph has become his own leader. He’s become a lone-wolf that doesn’t need a leader anymore. He has good intentions (even though they are not being followed through quite right) and Leo is just coming back and messing everything up. Things have changed and Leo needs to realize this. But Raph also needs to take into consideration that Leo is trying to realize this. He’s been trying to reconnect with his brother. But Raph has put up such a strong wall around everyone that he thinks talking isn’t going to help.

Leo telling Raph that he isn’t ready to become his own leader is a tiny bit selfish in my opinion? I mean, I agree, but still. Like Leo sees that Raph never went on a hardcore training period off in some jungle halfway across the world. So, he thinks, how CAN Raph be ready if he hasn’t done that? But that’s the thing. Leo and Raph have their own way of doing things. Leo, in multiple iterations, tries so hard to have his brothers be exactly like him. If he achieves something a certain way, he expects his brothers to reach their achievements by doing it the exact same way. But Raph is fully capable of reaching his achievements his own way (same with Donnie and Mikey). That’s something that Leo has had a difficult time wrapping his head around. 

I also don’t feel like Leo outwardly staying that he’s better than Raph is true to his character. There’s no doubt in my mind that Leo believes that and has thought it on SEVERAL occasions. But with his “gotta be the bigger man” personality, it’s hard to believe he would stoop so low as to actually say it to Raph’s face. 

Now Raph laughs at this. And I feel like most of it is a fake laugh, but there’s still a part of it that’s real because he’s finally ready to show Leo that he’s better than him. This is the real fight that RAPH has been waiting for. The perfect match. The leader and the lone wolf. The Ghost of the Jungle and the Nightwatcher. Leo and Raph. 

Leo still tries to have him call off this fight. He’s confident in himself that he will win. Both parties are, in fact. They’ve both developed such different fighting styles since the time they’ve sparred together, that they’re basically strangers to each other now. They both know this isn’t going to end well. That things will be different after the dust (rain?) settles. Leo has a negative outlook on it. He doesn’t think that Raph will ever be happy towards him again. If anything, Raph will probably shun him. This defeat could push Raph over the edge. This could make Raph leave for real. He doesn’t want that. It pains him that he has to fight his little brother. But Raph? Raph has a positive outlook. He believes that after he defeats Leo, Leo will then see Raph’s true potential. He’ll be recognized as the best, no longer second-best. He finally gets to prove to Leo that things are different. 

Leo visibly sighs and shakes his head knowing there’s no getting out of this fight. His stubborn little brother won’t back down. It wouldn’t be honorable for Leo to stand down and admit defeat. It also wouldn’t be honorable to disgrace Raph by completely disregarding that he’s his brother and just going for the kill. He’s at a complete crossroads here. So, ultimately, he draws his swords. 

The shot of the two boys staring at each other from across the roof — I want that as a poster !! It’s so gorgeous. I’m just noticing this now but it’s split JUST down the middle in terms of color. It gives a very yin and yang type picture. Leo is on the side where the red neon sign is glowing bright, thus making him glow a faint red color. Raph, on the opposite end, is on the side where the shine of the moon is hitting down, making his armor almost glow a pale blue. Ugh so much symbolism I may cry.  Right off the bat you can tell the differences in the two boys. Raph has been in his ready-stance for a while. He’s been waiting for this. Leo stands tall with blades in hand but not in an attack stance. There’s still that sliver of hope that Raph will back down. It’s still early enough to put this behind them, but that window is fading fast. As the rain beats down around them, Leo realizes that the window is closed. Nothing will stop this fight. It’s happening. There is no going back. 

Per the theme this rainy evening, Raph is the first one to charge. He runs like the brute he has become, fists clenched around his sai so he’s ready to stab or punch. Leo charges in a very graceful samurai run. Also the music. The thundering drums that beat so deep and so fast. It’s such a powerful scene. 

The shot of the tip of Leo’s blade grazing the water on the roof is STUNNING. Honestly, who thinks of these details because I hope they got a RAISE back in 2007 😂 it’s beautiful 

I also love how they both jumped toward each other as their first move. This shows that they are now both on the offense. Something snapped inside Leo to make him change up his tactics a bit. Almost to throw off Raph, who has never been the best at a defensive position. His strong suit is in the offense. 

Still the differences between their fighting styles after the jump. Leo did a beautiful forward shoulder roll, which is a proper technique of coming out of a forward jump. It keeps your momentum going into your next attack. Raph landed on his feet which, may not be ideal, but gave him a split-second advantage to be on the offense for the next attack. Leo then had to block with his sword. This fight goes FAST. I’m watching it so carefully and I’m sure there are things that I’m missing. I love how Leo does a roll over Raph’s shell, and up until now I figured he had made contact with his shell, but he actually didn’t because just as Leo started his roll, Raph ducked forward out of the way. Then Raph does a couple kicks towards Leo’s head, which cause water to sprinkle EVERYWHERE and it’s gorgeous. Raph is just going ham and not letting up on Leo as he’s still going for those strikes. (Lol I took a stage combat course over the summer so I know a little bit of the lingo (but good god I am no expert so please call me out if you know I’m using improper terms)) Watching this scene makes me want to do a move chart with a list of moves they are doing and in the order they’re doing it haha. Finally, Leo is able to squeeze in two strikes towards Raph, both of which he ducks and then blocks. 

The camera angles are wonderful. Have I talked about that yet? I mean the shot of the two of them squaring off. The little shot of the two of them fighting between the E and the D in the neon sign. And even the upcoming shot from below when they’ve got their weapons locked together. So beautiful. 

This scene also really shows the details of the Nightwatcher suit. 

And when Leo is able to do an X cross block with his swords at the downward blow Raph is throwing with his sai, and the camera angles are just moving with the characters. UGH. Here you can see that Leo really is mad. The fury of the fight is showing through his eyes as he watches his brother with a predator-like stare. *frantically looks up synonyms for furious* and boy oh boy, Raph is just seething as he twirls his blades. This small segment of them circling each other (sort of like a Spaghetti western style) is a fighting trope that I really dig. Sais are actually a lot larger than I gave them credit for. Those sharp boys are HUGE. 

The way they have their teeth bared as they circle each other reminds me so much of two very dominate male animals fighting. Like two lions fighting for the pride. When Leo finally comes to a stop his eyebrows furrow just a tad bit more, almost impatiently waiting for Raph to make another offending move. Or possibly giving thought as if the fight was coming to its end. And Raph’s pupils are crazy dilated as he charges yet again. It’s like a sickness that has infested his mind, this constant need to one-up his older brother. It’s making him crazy. And the heaviness of that armor is making Raph charge like a rhino or something. And the shot of Leo tightening his grip on his blade gives the implication that there may have been a split second where he believed Raph was ready to be done with the fight. 

Their eye contact hardly ever breaks during this scene. Raph is wanting to see that split second of worry in his brother’s eyes. He’s wanting to see that hesitation. 

Now Leo charges and he has taken full offense. He strikes at Raph many times, closing him into the wall under one of the two signs. He throws seven blows before doing a jumping spin kick to Raph’s abdomen. You can tell that blow sent Raph back a ways, maybe even farther if that wall wasn’t there to stop him. He probably has some form of whiplash. And even as he’s starting to lock eyes with his opponent again, Leo’s sword comes RIGHT BY HIS NECK. Leo literally got so close to making a fatal would for Raph. And no, Leo had no intention of killing Raph. He was probably aiming to give Raph a nasty slash on his cheek. Just a warning. Something that would remind Raph to stay in his place. 

Now here it is. The locking of their weapons. The climax of the fight. Raph is enraged and is gritting his teeth so hard that he’s shaking. In the shot from below, you can see the absolute force that they are using to one-up the strength of the other as their muscles are just quivering. And Raph tries to make himself become larger to push Leo back. Leo gives a quick glance down to his weapon in fear that the thin blade will give out. Swords aren’t meant to withstand this kind of pressure. 

And when they do break. b o i. The shock and pain that sweeps through Leo is heartbreaking. He just lost. Even before Raph throws the final blow. Leo’s swords are finished, just as he is. His swords. The weapons he’s most likely had since he became leader all those years ago. A literal extension of his body. Taken away from him in an unforgivable instant. And right as Leo is taking a glance back up to Raph, Raph is already coming up to powerfully kick him straight through the jaw. Through his kick, Raph is still in his jump twirling around to deliver the fatal blow to his brother’s head. The spear of his sai is centimeters away from Leo’s head as he falls back and hits the concrete behind him. As soon as his eyes open after being knocked back, he registers how close that blade was to piercing his skull. He’s been around long enough to recognize a deadly shot. You can tell his mind is racing in that fraction of a second as he sees the blade and looks back up to Raph to question why on earth he would throw such a potentially devastating blow. And just like that, Raph standing above with Leo pinned to the ground, he has won. He has defeated Leo. Even still, you can see their expressions change numerous times as they process what has just happened. Raph still bares his teeth in anger/triumph. He’s finally showing Leo what he thinks of his “place”. Finally showing him that he is a worthy opponent to Leo. 

Again, Leo is in shock. All he’s thinking is “why” and “what” and many other synonyms for said terms. You can see his eyes flit between Raph’s own as he continuously tries to read what his brother is thinking. Then his brows furrow once more as it finally sinks in. Raph hated Leo for so long. Up until the point where he came close enough to kill him. It didn’t matter how much Leo trained to be better for Raph. Raph still hated him. Every fiber of his being. He’s confused and frightened still as to why. Just because they fought doesn’t mean there was any resolution. Leo is still left in the dark as to WHY his brother actually despises him. 

Raph, still seething, is beginning to shake all the way up to his face. Then it hits him. What he’s done. His pupils widen as his eyebrows slowly shift up. That’s Leo. That’s his older brother. That’s his family. That’s who he’s got pinned down. Who he nearly sent a sharp blade through the skull. Who he nearly murdered. Leo is still staring up at him, I’m sure wondering how someone could be filled with so much hate. Maybe for a split second, if the Ghost of the Jungle actually did kill those raiders in South America, Leo saw himself in Raph. Perhaps that scared him. This could have been the path Leo was headed down if it wasn’t for April coming and pleading for Leo to return home. No one was able to help Raph. No one tried to stop him from going too far down this path. Was it because he had been absent? Was this all because he left? This is what Raph really thinks of Leo, huh? 

I love how no words are spoken here, yet again. It’s brilliant what can be said without any actual words. There’s so much emotion between the boys after what just happened. 

And here’s Raph again. Still processing. He tries to shake it away as if it’s just a bad thought or a nightmare. He’s in disbelief of his own actions. He then starts to shy away from Leo as if in apology but honestly what’s to be said after that that will make everything better? He also looks a little to the right of Leo, but we don’t get to see what he’s looking at. Up until this point, I’ve always just figured he was just looking away in thought, not on anything in particular. But now, I feel like he could possibly be looking at the rain falling on the concrete roof as if to help him figure out that this is reality. That he’s actually here in this moment. And so is Leo. OR, he could be looking at Leo’s broken swords, which is also bringing him back to reality. He destroyed a part of his brother. He could have done so much more destruction. He gets up ever so gently as if Leo is a paper doll that will break under his weight or a sudden shift of movement. 

Leo still clutching onto his sword handles is probably subconscious instinct, like when something suddenly scares you and your muscles clench up and you hold tighter onto whatever. And here you can see that he’s actually showing that he’s in pain. His adrenaline is wearing off so the blows from just moments before are actually beginning to enflame his body. I’m sure there’s a part of him that’s scared of Raph now. Like there’s no more teasing or mocking. If he were to try it again, I’m sure he believes things could spiral out of control again. Something neither of them wanted anytime soon. His face is a little hard to read when he stands up, but mostly because he’s in pain and is showing that in his gestures and expression. Knowing Leo, he’s probably mentally asking so many questions. I’m sure he wants to talk. I’m sure he wants Raph to talk. But what on earth are either of them to say? 

They’re exhausted from the fight. Leo is visibly heaving his body. Raph is still stunned as ever as his eyes are fixed on his brother who is SOMEHOW ALIVE ?? He shakes his head slightly as the thought creeps through his mind again. As the more devastating idea enters. He doesn’t even want to consider what the aftermath would have been like. What if it actually happened. What if Leo wasn’t standing right in front of him? What if he was still on the concrete ground, covered in rain pellets, immovable. Just… still. With a single sai protruding from his head. No. He messed up. How could things ever be the same again? How could he move on from this? How could he go home and face his family? His brothers? Splinter? He feels like such a little kid. A scared child who’s worried about the consequences of his actions. He would be disowned. He would be shunned. He would be hated. What was he to do? He glances down at his weapons, still in hand, and gives a tiny gasp. These were almost murder weapons. Of his own brother’s death. So, he runs. Any specific destination, probably not. He just needed to be away from Leo. He has no idea if he’ll ever see him again. Or his family. He just messed up way too horribly. How would anyone be able to forgive him? How could Leo even be facing him?

As he turns away to disappear into the night, Leo inaudibly tries to call him back. Even after all that, Leo’s still trying to reach out to him. He doesn’t want Raph to leave. This is something they NEED to discuss. He’s not mad or angry at his brother. He’s confused. He could see it in Raph’s eyes that Raph was guilty about what he almost did. I’m sure he doesn’t audibly call out to Raph because he’s partially too exhausted to do so. Plus, I’m sure there’s still a bit of fear right on the surface. 

As Raph runs, he is most definitely ugly crying. But we can’t see that because of the pouring rain :’D so. And then Leo gets captured and yadayada. Wow. I think I may be FINALLY done talking about this 😂 I’m exhausted. If you read this much I’m honestly super proud of you and I appreciate you haha you’re amazing. If you have anything you want to talk about concerning the ninja turtles (preferably the 2007 film because it’s fresh on my mind, but I’m also down to talk about the other movies or the tv shows) don’t even hesitate to ask. I love talking about the turtles. We can debate certain topics, gush about OTPs, talk about issues we had with certain things. I love all that. 

[puckinghell]

Friends Don’t | Jamie Benn

Requested: nope Word count: 2822 Note: basically if a player is being mistreated in any way i have to write about them. also based on a song with the same name

You tucked your legs under you, wrapping the blanket a bit tighter around you. It had been one of those days. First, you spilled your coffee, then your car wouldn’t start, your computer crashed halfway through your assignment, your teacher made a snippy remark towards you, and then your mom had called and banged on about how disappointed she was with you for not going on that date with her coworkers “perfectly nice son”.

You didn’t want perfectly nice. You just wanted to be left alone. And maybe watch a movie with your best friend, but when you’d texted Jamie, he had other plans. Whatever that meant.

You picked up your glass of wine. You tried not to make it a habit to drink alone at home, but some days just asked for it. For some reason, you could feel that you were on the brink of tears; it was stupid, really. Maybe you were PMSing. You decided to text Jamie again.

Now I have to drink my wine alone, which is just depressing. Thanks for nothing, James.

You knew he would have a laugh at that little inside joke, probably text you back something snarky. You waited for his reply, but nothing came. He must be at something where he couldn’t have his phone on him.

You met Jamie at a charity event. You’d been working as a waitress there and he’d been there representing the Stars. He’d been sitting at the bar alone, and you’d joked about how drinking alone was just depressing. He’d told you that it would be a lot less depressing if the pretty waitress joined him, and although you’d been on the clock and couldn’t actually drink, you had stayed in his general vicinity all night, talking about everything and nothing.

He’d been with his ex girlfriend, back then, and when they broke up, you were already so deep into your just-friend regime that it seemed impossible that anything more was ever going to happen. You’d since accepted it, and yet, sometimes, like tonight, you wished you were more than just the best friend. More than just the best friend would be allowed to demand cuddles, and you wanted cuddles. Instead, you had to do with your cat; and she just looked at you with pity in her feline eyes.

You nearly spilled your wine in surprise as you heard a knock on the door. Your blanket wrapped around your shoulders like a cape, and your wine glass still in your hand, you padded towards the door and opened it only slightly, to reveal your best friend standing there. He was wearing a suit and holding a bottle of wine, raising his eyebrows when you stared through the gap of the door.

“I was expecting a more enthusiastic response to my arrival,” he said dryly, holding up the bottle of wine. “I brought booze.”

“Jamie?” You threw the door open, reaching for the bottle and prying it out of his hands. “What are you doing here?” You knew you looked ridiculous, with your blanket cape, cradling what looked like a very expensive bottle of wine, but you didn’t care. Jamie had seen you in worse ways.

“Wouldn’t want you to be drinking alone, would we?” he grinned, pushing past you into your apartment.

“You’re a bit overdressed for wine drunk and movies,” you frowned, closing the door behind him. Jamie was already shrugging off his suit jacket and taking off his tie. Then, he kicked off his shoes and sat down on your couch.

“Was supposed to go to a dinner party,” he explained, “but I’d rather be here.” He frowned at your TV. “We’re not watching the Princess Diaries.”

“You can’t crash my pity party and start making demands,” you sputtered, but you didn’t really mean it. You would watch whatever movie Jamie wanted to watch. And it wasn’t because he looked awfully delicious in that dress shirt. Not at all.

“I think I can,” Jamie challenged. “Also, since I canceled my dinner for this, you better be down with ordering pizza.”

“If you really think I’d ever not be down for that, you don’t know me at all,” you mumbled, and you finally sat down next to him on the couch, a clean wine glass now in your hand; for him. You cuddled up into his side and he picked a movie and then ordered some pizza, and somehow, you’d forgotten all about your bad day.

“God damnit Jamie, it’s 1 am, you better have a very good reason to call me,” you growled into your phone.

“Oh.” Your best friend sounded wary on the phone. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was that late. Time difference.”

You usually didn’t even have your phone on sound, usually put it on silent when you slept because your many group chats would surely keep you awake, but fate had it that you forgot to do that that night.

“I just wanted to say hi.”

You smiled at his statement. “Hi,” you told him, and you could almost hear his smile on the other side as he answered.

“Hi.”

“Not the results you wanted, huh?”

The Stars had played the Flames that night, and boy had it not gone good. You’d managed to watch all of it, but had to mute the third period, because seeing them get smashed in like that literally hurt your heart too much. You had, however, even on mute, seen Jamie’s fight, and as always, it felt like you hadn’t breathed for a solid half hour afterwards.

“How hurt are you?”

“I’m fine.” He was lying, you knew it, and he knew you knew it, too. “Just a busted lip. I was trying to get some fire into the boys, but I guess you can’t expect much when you’re down 4-0, huh?” He sounded defeated, and you hated it.

“I’m sorry, Jam. It’s not your fault, you know. These games happen. There’s always next time.”

“Yeah, I guess.” He was silent for a while. “I’m sorry for waking you up.”

“Don’t worry,” you hummed. “I’m glad you called. I haven’t heard your voice in a while, you know.”

His deep sigh cut straight through your bones. “I know, it’s been a long road trip.”

You knew Jamie, knew he was beating himself up over their loss and knew that he wasn’t going to sleep for another hour or so, too much adrenaline flowing through his veins. And you knew exactly what would calm him down, too.

“Want me to tell you about my day? I can tell you all about my math assignment.”

“I’ve never been more thrilled for anything in his life,” Jamie said, but he sounded amused now, less focused on his misery. So you settled into your pillow, put your phone on speaker - you’d be talking for a while, and your arm got tired quickly - and told him all about the little details of your day, the mundane things that really didn’t matter, that Jamie wanted to hear about anyway.

You had to get up early the next morning and you knew you’d be so tired, but going to sleep was not an option. Not when Jamie needed you to be awake with him.

You knew this neighborhood well enough to realize that Jamie was going the wrong way. And yet, you didn’t say anything.

The car was going awfully slow, way under the speed limit, for no reason at all. It was 3pm, and there was barely any traffic. Definitely not enough traffic to warrant this turtle speed.

“Jamie, you have a sports car, use that accelerator,” you teased him, and pretended not to notice the red flush on his cheeks. He sped up, but barely.

You didn’t really want him to, anyway.

He’d insisted on picking you up from college and dropping you off home, and although you’d told him a few times that it really wasn’t necessary, you were glad he had. Tonight, he’d leave for another road trip. He’d be gone for almost a week. It wasn’t that long, not that big a deal, had happened many times before and would happen many times again; so why did your heart feel so heavy with dread?

You wondered if he felt it to, if he was driving slow, taking the long way home, just to make this last a little bit longer. Spend a little more time with you. You didn’t dare hope.

The radio was on, but you didn’t really register what song was playing. Jamie wasn’t talking, but he was tapping his finger against the steering wheel on the beat of the music. Tapping his fingers was a nervous habit of his, and usually when he did it, you could pinpoint exactly what he was nervous about. Not this time.

“You got your chemistry project done in time?” he asked suddenly, and you frowned. You’d told him about that project about two weeks ago, and it was one of the last things you expected him to remember.

“Yeah, I did. Why on earth would you care about my chemistry project?” You’d said it jokingly, but he didn’t take it that way, shooting you a pointed look.

“I care about everything going on in your life, Y/N.”

Oh be still, fluttering heart.

“Did you get your skates sharpened?” you shot back, and he smirked.

“You don’t give a shit about my skates.”

“I really don’t. I just wanted to let you know that I remember things you tell me, too.” You sunk back into the car seat as Jamie stopped in front of a red light. You willed it to stay red a little longer, but it jumped to green too quick.

“I remember your grandmother’s name.” Jamie sounded proud of himself, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“God, that’s so not special! I remember your dentist’s name.”

“How?” Jamie asked, bewildered. “I don’t even remember my dentist’s name.”

You shrugged. “I care about your teeth.”

“Yeah, well, I care about your…” he paused, you could see the wheels turning in his head. “Nails!”

“Nails?” you giggled.

“Yeah, you go to this nail place to get them done.”

“You don’t even know what it means to get nails done,” you countered, and you could tell by his scowl that you had hit the nail on the head.

“Well, I’ll come with you next time,” Jamie said triumphantly. “Then I’ll know what it means.”

“Such a problem-solver,” you shook your head. “That’s a true captain at heart.”

You were totally going to drag him to your next nail appointment and you weren’t sure whether he was going to be super bored, or super interested by all the - for him foreign - things going on at a nail salon.

The car slowed down even more and just when you wanted to start scolding him for driving too slow, you realized you were at your house.

Oh.

Jamie put the car in park, took his keys out of the ignition. “I’ll walk you to the door,” he said. It was completely unnecessary, with it being a clear afternoon, but you didn’t fight him on it.

“I’ll see you in a week, I guess,” you smiled, but you had to work for the smile. He was playing with his keys, fumbling with them, staring at his hands.

“Uhm, yeah,” he mumbled. There was a pause and you wished he could find a reason not to leave yet, but he clearly couldn’t come up with anything. “I’ll see ya.” He turned, as if he was going to walk away, then suddenly turned again and launched forward, wrapping you into a hug. He smelled so familiar and warm and you squeezed him. Maybe, if you just didn’t let go, he wouldn’t leave.

“I’ll call you tonight, okay? When I’m at the hotel.” His words were soft against your ear, and you sighed.

“Yes, please.” Another second, he pulled away, steps on the driveway, the car rumbled, and then you were cold and alone on your porch, and you wondered why you could feel tears burning behind your eyes.

You didn’t really want to go to this party, but there really was no other option. You were pretty sure your friend would have your head on a stick if you didn’t go to her birthday party. To make it a little more bearable, you’d brought Jamie, however, your best friend had seemed to disappear as soon as you walked into the house, and now you were drunk and alone and most importantly, extremely bored.

“Want another beer?” the guy you’d been talking to asked. You didn’t even really know his name.

You didn’t want another beer, you just wanted him to stop talking. And so you smiled politely, made up an excuse, and started making your way through the crowd.

“Jamie, you in?”

You weren’t even sure why your ears decided to focus on that specific sentence, because it had nothing to do with you. But as always, Jamie’s name rang in your ears and somehow pulled your eyes into the direction of the speaker, and there he was; talking to a girl. A beautiful girl.

That shouldn’t hurt as much as it did.

“Ouch!” You’d been too concentrated on Jamie, and bumped into a person. The girl steadied you, smiled.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m so sorry!” Your voice was hoarse and suddenly the air around you seemed to thick. You made your way outside, wanting to get away from the people, but you hadn’t realized your squeal had alerted Jamie to your presence, and as he saw you storming outside, he’d immediately left the girl he’d been talking to - mid sentence, even, it really wasn’t very polite - to rush to your aid.

You sat outside on your friend’s porch. It was warm in Dallas, even at this hour, and the stars were bright in the sky.

“Hey, you okay?” It was the second time someone asked in maybe three minutes, but this time, you saw no reason to lie.

“Not really.”

Heavy footsteps sounded behind you and then Jamie sat down next to you on the porch. “I saw you run away.”

“I saw you talk to that girl.”

You probably shouldn’t have said it, should probably still be pretending that you were just friends. Because that’s what you were. But friends didn’t feel this way, watching their friends flirt with pretty girls.

Jamie laughed lightly. “I saw you talk to that guy.”

You shook your head. “Not that same. I don’t even remember his name.”

“I don’t remember a word of what she said,” Jamie countered, and you finally turned to look at him. His big brown eyes caught yours right away, and you were taken aback by the sheer emotion in them. “I wouldn’t flirt with her, not when I lo…” His eyes widened as he caught himself, cut himself off. “When I came here with you.”

That’s not what he was going to say. You knew it, because you’d been in this situation so many times before.

And maybe it was because you were a little drunk, but after all those time, you were finally done with it.

“That’s not what you were going to say,” you told him, wrapping your arms around yourself. “What are we, Jamie?”

He stared at you, seemed to really think about your question. “I don’t know,” he said finally. “What do you think we are?”

“I think we tell ourselves we’re just friends,” you said. You were staring at the grass in front of you. Looking at him, while you were going to say what you were going to say, was way too hard. “But friends don’t cancel other plans just to get wine drunk on the couch. They don’t forget the world around them when they hear each other’s name.”

“Friends don’t call you in the middle of the night just cause they feel like saying hi,” Jamie continued. He reached out and you felt his fingers against your hands.

“Friends don’t get chills with every accidental touch,” you whispered, and Jamie intertwined his fingers with yours. “And friends don’t drive too slow and take the long way home and play with their keys, just to postpone goodbye a few seconds longer.”

“Friends don’t almost say I love you.” His words rung through the quiet night sky and your heart seemed to be in your throat. His other hand reached out and with one finger, he took hold of your chin and pulled your face towards him, forcing you to look at him. “Friends don’t do this.” And then, he kissed you. It was like electricity ran all through your body and at the same time, a comfortable warmth took over you as your lips moved against his in perfect synchronization. He pulled away, smiling, and you couldn’t help smile back. You nodded in agreement.

“Friends don’t.”

[angelcatsiel]

I reblogged an ask game thing the other day but no one sent any asks so I just fuckin answered them all because I was bored and I am learning to not give a fuck what anyone thinks of me and it was fun

1. What is your favorite childhood story of yourself?

This is a hard one. I want to think of a funny one but my childhood wasn’t great. My dad has told me that when I was a toddler, before I can remember, he used to play AC/DC and I used to put clothes pegs in my hair for some unknown reason, stand on the sofa and violently headbang.

2. What is the stupidest way you have ever gotten hurt?

When I was about 11, I was swinging on a swing in the garden, and got curious about what would happen if I put my hands right at the very bottom of the chains while I was swinging. The answer was that I fell off backwards and hit my head. I went in to my dad crying, calmed down, and went back on the swing again. I tried to work out what exactly I had done to cause myself to fall off. I remember thinking, I think I held the chains near the bottom like this... and tested the theory, and fell off again, and hit my head again.

This is one of many stupid injuries. Other considerations were the time I climbed up a slide and hit my head on the bar at the top and knocked myself out, or the time I got kicked by a horse in a field and grabbed onto the electric fence to hold myself up.

3. What was the first PG-13 movie you watched?

Literally no idea.

4. What was the first R rated movie you watched?

I think it may have been the first Deadpool? Haven’t seen that many tbh

5. When was the moment you felt most badass?

When I was about 8, I was at the park with my brother, and this much older kid (maybe about 16 or 17, hardly a kid) with an aggressive dog stole my brother’s ice cream money. I marched up to him and demanded he give it back. He let his dog off the lead and it sniffed around my ankles and growled, and he told me it would bite me if I ran. I stood there and stared him down for a good 20 seconds or so before he called back the dog and walked away. I didn’t get the money back.

6. What is a band you can reliably always love?

Marillion. Favourite band, always.

7. What is your favorite form of self expression?

Probably singing even though I’m very bad at it.

8. What is something from your childhood you wish you still had?

My stuffed rabbit Hoppy. I haven’t been able to find him in several years. Can’t think about it too hard or I’ll cry.

9. Where is your favorite place on earth?

The Isle of Wight. My dad used to take me and my brother there for holidays every few years. It’s beautiful and full of memories, the most precious memories being the time we saved up vouchers in the newspaper to go the year after my dad left his abusive wife and ended up homeless. We were so poor but with the vouchers we could just afford to go, and it was the first time I saw my dad happy in a long time.

10. What is the longest friendship you have ever had?

My best friend @van-helsa124 who I have known since literally nursery and I love her so much.

11. Is there anyone is your life you wish you had met sooner than you did?

Maybe my friend Luce who I only met a couple of years ago, but we’ve grown close pretty quick.

12. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yep definitely. Pretty sure I was visited by my gran after she died and I’ve had a few creepy experiences.

13. What is the coldest water you have ever swam in?

No idea tbh, I don’t swim much

14. How old were you when you learned how to swim?

Maybe 8 or 9? I had lessons in primary school.

15.  What song do you listen to when you’re sad?

Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift. It’s my cry song.

16. Are you an adrenaline junky?

Yep! Love roller coasters and stuff like that, and would love to do something extreme like jump out of a plane or something.

17. What is a song that takes you back to childhood?

I have a few but the main ones are probably Man on the Moon by REM, and You Were Right by Badly Drawn Boy.

18. What is your favorite word?

Not sure I have one. For some reason the only one coming to mind is a place not too far from where my family live called Biggleswade, and I have to say it every time we drive past because I love saying it. I also love saying tiddies at every opportunity.

19. What is your least favorite word?

Don’t think I have a least favourite either, the usual infamous ones (e.g. moist) don’t really bother me.

20. What scent reminds you of childhood?

Cherryade. I drank some several years ago and the smell before I tasted it transported me immediately back to my childhood and a memory I’d completely forgotten, which was my gran constantly buying me a shit ton of cherryade every time I stayed over her house.

21. Were you sad when you found out clouds weren’t like pillows, or did you never think that?

I don’t think I was sad, I think I was just curious and interested to learn, and I tried to come up with new interesting ways of describing the feeling of clouds in my head, since even as a kid I loved to write.

22. When in life did you laugh the hardest?

A few times come to mind and they all involve @van-helsa124. A lot would make absolutely no sense, no matter how much I tried to explain. They’re now ‘friendship memes’. The only one that might be explainable is the first time we ever got drunk, to celebrate achieving ultimate friendship, after we found out that her mum had believed me and her were in a relationship for a year and a half. We even created our own drink, named the year and a half, which was literally just a mix of vodka, koppaberg, rose wine and cloudy lemonade. Tasted better than it sounds. Got me drunk in about 0.5 seconds. Ended the night hugging her trash can trying not to throw up while she read me a destiel fanfic to take my mind off feeling sick

23. What makes you laugh when you don’t feel like laughing?

Old yogscast videos.

24. Do you come from a big family?

Fairly big, lots of aunts and uncles and cousins.

25. What is your favorite part of yourself?

My positivity and the inner strength that I have, that helps me find happiness and courage even when my mental health is low.

26. What is the worst pain you have ever felt?

Trigeminal neuralgia pain (facial nerve pain). Spent 90% of January this year constantly crying and even screaming in pain. Hospital couldn’t do anything for me. I get occasional flare ups now but nothing that severe, but it’s probably going to come back. Feels like someone trying to rip out my cheekbone and jawbone or like someone is literally drilling into the bones in my face, and that’s the milder part. Every so often that pain is interrupted by stabs of sharper pain like electric shocks which have caused me to collapse to the floor screaming. 0/10 do not recommend

27. Do you swear often?

Not super often out loud but very often in my head.

28. Do you get confused for being older or younger than you are?

People always assume I’m younger than I am. I get asked for ID for everything.

29. What is your favorite way to eat a potato?

Probably roast potatoes, but they’ve gotta be done right. Soft inside, crispy outside, and obviously with herbs and spices.

30. What is the best compliment you have ever received?

Honestly no idea.

31. Describe yourself in 6 words?

Slightly unstable yet somehow happy weirdo

32. What is the worst insult you have ever received?

Can’t think of any major insults either lmao no one talks to me apparently

33. Have you ever taken in any media that changed your life?

The Good Place and Supernatural. With supernatural it wasn’t the actual show so much as the friendships it made me and the confidence and happiness the conventions gave me, at a time when my mental health was at its worst, although the show helped massively too. Idc if it’s cringey, it kept me alive. The Good Place changed my entire worldview and actually made me less afraid of death.

34. Have you ever collected anything?

My model horses! I have at least 10 at this point

35. Strangest thing you have ever broken?

As in bones or objects? Can’t think of any objects and the only time I ever broke a bone was when I broke my toe at like 12:01am on new year’s day when I got up to pour myself another drink and tripped over the table

36. Weirdest food you have ever eaten?

I’m not that adventurous with food so nothing that weird

37. Childhood nickname?

My dad would call me Flo. Not sure why.

38. Most people you have shared a bed with in a non sexual manner?

Two. Shared a bed with my best friend and my other friend Josh, once at a convention, once at Josh’s birthday. Birthday one is a bit blurry as I was drunk but at the convention I got to be in the middle and spooned Josh while my best friend spooned me and it was very cosy

39. What is something that makes you fall asleep?

The Marillion song Angelina, or this one ASMR video that’s supposed to be the sound of being in the Impala with the Winchesters. Laugh all you want, I like it.

40. Did your parents ever accidentally lose or forget you?

No but my teacher did once, can’t remember the context, I think she had to drive me and some other girls somewhere for some club event and when we got back to the school she forgot me in the car because I was so quiet lmao

41. If you were a superhero what would your weakness be?

I would be a terrible superhero and have many weaknesses. Loud noises would immediately put me out of action. Someone makes eye contact with me and I disintegrate immediately

42. What food reminds you of home?

Tuna pasta! With this one specific sauce that my mum used to make it with

43. What is your comfort food?

Probably also that tuna pasta. And chocolate. A shit ton of chocolate.

44. Cold room with lots of blankets or hot room with no blankets?

Cold room with lots of blankets, no question.

45. No shoes without socks or no shoes with socks?

No shoes without socks

46. Do you run hot your cold?

I am presuming this means ‘do you run hot or cold’ and the answer is, usually, both simultaneously. My body has no idea what temperature regulation is. Catch me out for a walk in short sleeves in the snow, sweating profusely while violently shivering bc I’m feeling extremely hot internally but my skin is freezing (and yes, I have actually done this). Do I have some sort of legit medical issue? No one knows, least of all my doctors!

47. Favorite condiment?

Probably ketchup. Though I also love garlic dip. Does that count as a condiment?

48. What utensil do you use the most?

Probably my tongs for turning chicken and stuff

49. When are you most comfortable?

Any time I’m home alone, just doing my own thing

50. If you could be really good at one thing, what would it be?

Singing! I would love to be an amazing singer but sadly I am a terrible singer though I do practice every day in the vain hope that maybe my voice will improve. If the neighbours could hear me they would have killed me by now

[leon-s-winters]

sleep paralysis

Ship: Leon Scott Kennedy x Ashley Graham (post-RE4)

Warnings: ehhhhh brief mention of canon-typical violence (you know, the shooty bits and the occasional unfortunate death), but it's not too terrible

Synopsis: Ashley has another episode of sleep paralysis but Leon has no idea what to do.

(A/N: this hit me during a conversation with @crystaldwightsworld in the Leon discord about Ashley having sleep paralysis and Leon freaking out about it. I am very tired and this is very bad. No beta readers, we glance over it once and then post it like men.)

Ashley liked the summer. At least, she liked to think she did. She could wear her cute dresses without the chilled wind stabbing through the light material and into her bones like icicles. Now that she was 21, Leon could buy them a case of Summer Shandy on his way over to her place. She could put the top down on convertibles and feel the whip of the summer breeze through the wild blonde strands of hair, only to rush to the restroom after the car stopped in a mad dash to tame the wispy blonde beast. Not that she’d complain if Leon reached over to smooth it out himself, but she’d never say that to him.

She also hated the summer. It was hot and humid and sweat clung to her like an irritating second layer of skin, one she couldn’t shed. Even the nights could be brutal and unforgiving: this night was no exception. Leon had come over later into the evening, having been held back in some sort of meeting for a lot longer than either had anticipated. In fact, Ashley wasn’t even expecting him to come over at all but was too worn out to care about her messy appearance--or the fact that she was waltzing around her apartment in her underwear--when he sent her a text that informed her that he was on his way over. Leon certainly hadn’t been complaining, at least not about her appearance. The heat, on the other hand? He had no mercy for it.

They didn’t get to do anything, which on any other night might have frustrated Ashley, but she didn’t have the strength or will to care about it tonight. After separate cold showers and a failed attempt at sitting down on the couch to watch a movie, they both agreed to just go to bed. The act of falling asleep, though, was proving to be just as difficult. It was just too damn hot, even with the ceiling fan and a rotating tower fan turned on and directed at both of them. The tower fan, built a bit like a cylinder, was also loud as hell, which didn’t help Ashley’s patience any. At some point into the night, both of them had kicked the sheets and quilt down the foot of the bed and then unceremoniously onto the floor. Leon had drifted off before she had: whatever he’d been up to earlier seemed to have worn him out quite a bit. It was a battle, but Ashley soon joined him in sleep.

This was not the end of Ashley’s terrible night.

At some point, one that she couldn’t pinpoint exactly, her eyes had opened and she was processing the room around her. She’d woken up thanks to some unseen stimulus, some sound she couldn’t identify. She tried to turn her head, to identify the loud whirring noise, but her head wouldn’t move. She tried to move her arm. It was strapped down. Her legs were in the same predicament. She couldn’t even arch off the surface she was laying on. That was when the panic started to sink in, like ice-cold water sluggishly spreading through her veins, from the tips of her fingers to the pounding of her heart, locking the frantically beating organ in a frozen cage. It pumped violently from a rush of adrenaline from her fear. A distant, rational part of her brain was trying to tell her it’s just sleep paralysis, just another episode, you’re fine, but the loud sound that had woken her up pervaded her mind, drowning out all reason.

It was then that she noticed the figure looming not too far from the wet surface she was strapped to. She recognized the bandaged face, could smell the stench of death and oil. The sound she heard was the motor of a chainsaw, which was raised above the Ganado woman’s head--one of the ones from Spain, but Ashley thought she was dead, Leon had shot her head off, why isn’t she dead?--and suddenly she was in Spain, and she had no idea who “Leon Kennedy” was, and the psychotic cult leader had strapped her to a table, injected something into her neck with a long needle, and then decided she was useless, smiling almost with pity down at her before walking away, leaving her to the mercy of the chainsaw woman. Said woman approached her, waving the chainsaw in a figure-eight, as if the weight of the machine was causing it to slip from her cold, dead hands, but stubbornly she fought gravity until they reached an agreement: drop it on the president’s daughter, let the teeth tear into her flesh, cut her in half like a wet piece of paper, spill her guts on the floor and paint the walls with her blood, listen to the sounds of her scream get overpowered by the chainsaw’s mighty roar before breaking off into a gurgle of blood pouring out of her mouth--

Just as quickly, she was back in her own room, gasping for air, clenching her shaking hands around the soaked sheets beneath her. She was in her room, she was in her bed, and her sheets were wet because she was sweating because she was alive. She remembered a man named Leon Kennedy who has saved her from that hell, that had shot the chainsaw-wielding woman’s head off, that was currently hovering over her, calloused hands gently yet urgently cupping her cold cheeks. She tilted her head a bit, noting the tower fan at the side of the bed: the whirring noise was not a chainsaw, but a damn fan. She looked back at Leon, staring blankly up at him while her heart slowed from its erratic staccato to a steady beat of a familiar drum. As her vision cleared, she noticed the look of concern on Leon’s face as his shockingly blue eyes darted across her features, questioning and confused and so, so worried.

“Ash? Ashley, talk to me,” he urged in a rushed, panicked voice.

“Leon,” she croaked, then took a shuddering breath in. Her whole body felt sore from tensing so badly for so long, or maybe it wasn’t that long at all. She could never tell during an episode. “I-I’m fine.”

“What happened? I got up to get a drink but when I looked over, you were just laying there, staring at something and freaking out. You wouldn’t respond to me, I kept trying to get your attention but you weren’t seeing me, I didn’t know--” Leon babbled, and Ashley thought it was endearing that he was so worried about her, but she raised a weak hand to cover his mouth and stop the onslaught of his thoughts.

“I’m fine,” she repeated, voice stronger. “It was just sleep paralysis. I-I'm sorry for worrying you,” she added quickly, moving her hands to his chest. Before she went to bed, she had thought he was crazy for wearing a t-shirt in this heat, but now she was thankful for the soft material that bunched between the tight grip of her fingers. “I guess I forgot to tell you about it.”

“Yeah, you did,” Leon breathed, shaking his head, closing his eyes for a moment as he raised one of his hands from her face to hold her hands in place against his chest. At that moment, she realized that the moonlight filtering in through the window cast an ethereal glow around Leon. The light caught in his ash blonde hair, lighting up the tousled strands like a halo. He looked like safety, like home, everything that those creatures back in Spain hadn’t been. He opened his eyes again and cast a ragged smile down at her. “You sure you’re okay? You still look pretty shaken.”

“I’ll be alright,” she assures with a nod. “It’s scary, but I’m stronger than you give me credit for. I can handle it.” She smiled and gently pushed him back so she could sit up. “You don’t always have to play hero, you know.”

“It’s my job to keep you safe,” Leon sighed, running his fingers through his hair. There was a slight tremor in his hand. “I just...don't know how to do that when you’re like that.” He flung a hand out to gesture at her side of the bed helplessly, confessing in a small voice, “You scared the shit out of me, Ash.” This surprised Ashley.

“I didn’t realize you could get scared,” she thought out loud. “You didn’t even seem scared back...back when you saved me the first time.”

Leon fixed her with a steady gaze that looked so vulnerable in the dim moonlight. She hadn’t seen him like this before. Suddenly, she felt bad about the hero quip, even though she hadn’t meant anything by it. She wished she hadn’t said anything, but she also secretly wanted to pry open the cracks forming in his armor, to see the softer sides hidden below. A small smile tugged at his lips.

“Glad to know I have a good poker face,” he joked. “I was scared, but showing it wouldn’t have helped either of us escape. Just like getting scared just now wasn’t helping, but I felt so...hopeless.”

“Give me a little time and I’ll be back to sleep, I promise.” She reached out to him and he allowed her to tug him back against the headboard so that she could lay her head on his shoulder. “I want to wash the sheets though, I don’t want to sleep on my own sweat.” He chuckled lightly and pressed a quick kiss to the top of her head.

“I can change the sheets if you start the load.”

“Deal.”

[wiener-soldiers]

merch? merch. - peter parker

summary: You were always a sucker for comfortable clothing. However, you did not expect so much to happen because you bought a Spiderman shirt.

pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

words: 1,500+

warnings: none!

taglist: @sebastianstanfoundmymixtape

a/n: this has been sitting in my draft for forever and i finally finished it! got this idea when i bought a spiderman shirt lolololol. im also working on a jack kelly and a davey jacobs fic along with part 2 to my steve trevor fic so yay me.  shoot a request if you wanna see somthing happen!

You weren't really sure why you did it.

Maybe it's because you were a huge dork, maybe because it looked really comfortable, maybe because it was super cheap, maybe it's because you really liked the shirt.

You don't really know.

Nor did you really care.

But you bought it anyways.

And now, an oversized Spiderman t-shirt was sitting in your closest.

The first time you wore it, you were having a rough day. You woke up late that day, making you late to the bus, forcing you to haul your ass on the subway to get to school. You barely make it to homeroom on time, but get a scolding from the teacher about being late anyways. Then you completely forgot your English essay at home the day it was due. Finally, hoping you could spend quality time with your best friend Peter Parker after school, he blew you off, something about running to do some errands for Aunt May. You wanted to offer to join Peter, but he ran off before you could ask.

So you went home, changed into a comfortable bralette and some soft Brandy Melville shorts, and of course, your Spiderman t-shirt. Because it's oversized, it falls onto about mid-thigh, so you tie it up into a knot at the front. Because your mom works that night shift at the hospital as a nurse and your dad was in London for a conference, you had the house to yourself.

You walked out of your room and into the living room, bringing your laptop, homework, and some leftover Thai takeout along with you. After you plant yourself on the couch, you start to binge watch Harry Potter while doing your homework.

When your mom finally came home from working the night shift at the hospital, she finds you fast asleep with your homework falling on the floor and the end of the Chamber of Secrets playing.

The next morning, when you wake up from your spot on the couch, she makes no comment on your Spiderman merch.

The second time you wore the shirt, your close friend MJ came over to watch Criminal Minds with you. This was your first break after the beginning of the second semester and both of you were dying to get your dose of Spencer Reid in.

The moment you answer the door, MJ laughs at your outfit choice.

"Nice shirt, nerd," she says as she kicks her shoes off, pushing hair behind her ear as she bends down to retrieve the chips and candy she brought.

You scoff and lightly kick her butt as you walk by, "Whatever."

"No seriously," she says while she chases after you, "Boxers and a Spiderman shirt? Where did you even get those?"

"The shirt?"

"No you idiot, the boxers! But where you got the shirt wouldn't hurt either."

You laugh and grab some chips, a tub of ice cream and spoons, and some sodas from the kitchen. "I got the shirt from a gift store in Manhattan."

"And the shorts?"

You look down at your feet, heat rushing to your face. To keep your hands occupied and grab the remote from the counter, walking back to the living room. You hear a scoff escape MJ's lips, "It's Peter's, isn't it?"

Your face burns and you throw a spoon at her face, "Shut up!"

She scrunches her nose, "Ew, who leaves boxers when they stay over?"

You mumble something under his breath.

She rolls her eyes again, "Speak up, dammit."

"...He gave them to me."

She bursts into laughter, "She's whipped! The girl's whipped!"

The third time you wore the shirt was when Ned came over to do a project.

You were assigned partners for a science project and you insisted  that Ned came over to do the project as oppose to the school library. After school, the library was usually fairly quiet, but because of the pouring rain outside, a lot of students stayed inside the library to wait out the storm.

The two of you ran from the subway station two your family’s apartment, but the pouring rain almost guaranteed that the both of you would get drenched regardless.

After hastily unlocking the front door, the both of you stumbled inside.

"Gee, (Y/N). I'm starting to think that going out into the rain was a bad idea," Ned laughs out. He opted not to wear his raincoat to protect his books. You were just stupid enough not to bring one.

You giggle, "Yeah? Well I was not about to let us do work in a loaded library that'll smell like mud and everyone's B.O."

He laughs, taking off his shoes and dumping the water on the floor. He wrings out his socks after. "That's really gross, man."

You follow suite, "You bet. Hold on, I'll grab us a change of clothes."

You run to your room and grab some clothes Ned had left at your house. You grab a couple more supplies for the project before you change into pyjama pants and your comfy Spiderman shirt.

You meet Ned in the living room and he does a double take when he sees your shirt.

"What?" you ask him.

"Nice shirt."

"What? MJ, now you?"

"Who's MJ?"

You look back at him, "I thought you knew you MJ was?"

"..."

"You know, brown curly hair? Sarcastic sense of humor? Absolutely gorgeous?"

"..."

You roll your eyes, "She goes by Michelle, Ned."

He widens his eyes in revelation, "Oh!"

You laugh at him and hand him the dry clothes, "Go change, Ned."

"Okay, okay!" Ned replies, grabbing the clothes from you with a smile from your face. "Thanks, (Y/N). Oh, and uh...does Peter know you have that shirt?"

You shake your head, "No."

"Show it to him, I bet he'd love it."

A blush was your response, "Go get changed, Ned."

The fourth time you wore that shirt was to bed.

At least that was your intention.

A soft rapping on your window wakes you. You roll around to face the window and notice a familiar red mask in your field of view. You sigh and roll out of bed and open your window to let the spandex clad man in.

"Hi, Spiderman."

He grunts silently in pain when he rolls through your window, "Hi, Miss."

You let out a huff in annoyance. For the past couple weeks, Spiderman has been showing up injured to your window asking for assistance. You had no idea why you hadn't told anyone yet, or why you decided to help him. However, he never asked for your name and you felt like this was your way of crime fighting and helping others.

"Where are you hurt?" you softly say, scrunching your eyebrows together and looking over is hunched form.

Spiderman slowly lowers himself on the ground and gestures to his ribs. You nod and leave the room, coming back with a pack of ice. He looks up at you and lets out a small laugh, "Nice shirt, (Y/N)."

You freeze.

You had never told him your name.

You step back, your hand hovering over the light switch. "Who are you? How do you know my name? What the hell?"

He stutters, "Uh...you have to promise not to scream."

"I make no--" you start to say, but before you get the chance to finish, he rips his mask off.

Peter Parker gives you a small sheepish smile. Your shock doesn't fade.

Out of shock, you throw the ice pack at him. "Peter!" you whisper yell, "you're Spiderman?!"

"I told you not to scream!"

"I'm whisper screaming!"

"Look, I'm sorry I couldn't tell you. It's just that--"

"No, Peter Parker, you listen to me! Do you really have the audacity to show up hurt every night? I thought you hated me because you kept blowing me off! I really freaking miss you Peter I could almost--" you cut yourself off with a scrambled scream.

Peter stands up and pulls you into a hug, silencing and comforting you. You push yourself away.

"Peter Parker I could almost soak you in the face right now!" you threaten, stepping closer to him noses almost touching.

"What's stopping you?"

"Why you little--" you grab his face and kiss him, hard. His arms snake around your waist and pull you closer. You both pull away, out of breath. He rests his forehead on top of yours, heaving from the adrenaline.

"I'm sorry," he whispers.

You kiss his nose, "I'm just glad your okay."

He kisses you on the lips once again, "I wasn't kidding when I said I loved that shirt."

You smile and look down. Peter’s eyes soften and he brings his hand to rest on your cheek. He slowly pushes your chin upwards to face him. Your eyes flicker up to his. Though is dark, you find yourself lost in his chocolate eyes.

“Hey,” Peter whispers to you, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry I kept ignoring you. You mean the world to me (Y/N) and I couldn’t live with myself knowing that I was keeping something as big as me being Spiderman away from you. But I could never bring myself to tell you, I...I didn’t want to drag you into this.”

You pull him into a tight hug, nestling your nose in the crook of his neck. You turn your head and rest your cheek on his shoulder, and you press a soft kiss on the side of his neck. “I’m in it for the long haul, Peter. You’re my best friend, and I love you in every way possible. Whether you like it or not, you’re stuck with me.”

Peter’s body shakes with laughter, his grip on you tightening. “I wouldn’t want it any other way, darling.”

The fifth time you wear that shirt, it's in bed beside  Peter as the both of you binge watch the original Star Wars trilogy. He rests against the headboard with you sitting in between his legs, your back resting against his chest with his arms wrapped around your waist. He toys with the hem of your shirt, a smile finding a way to his face when he remembers the first time he saw you in it.

You notice Peter's hands brushing against your stomach and slip your hand into it. "What are ya thinking about?" you ask him.

"Just about you, beautiful. Have I ever told you that I love you?"

You feel him press a kiss to your neck and you smile, pausing the movie playing on your laptop resting on your lap. "Yes, Peter. Everyday."

"That's good. I mean, if you ever came out with some '(Y/N) (Y/L/N)' merch, I'm buying it."

You laugh once again before kissing Peter full on the lips, the smile never leaving either of your faces.

[tumblunni]

Me in the hospital: i cannot sleep for 24 hours, the slightest noise is blaring, i am perpetually anxiety adrenaline

As soon as i get home: has the best sleep of my life

I usually take an hour to get to sleep each night but i totally just curled up like a snail and dropped into dreamland instantly. And i woke up to a nice warm house cos the heating turned on while i was asleep, and now all the anesthetic is completely worn off so i feel energized and great! And my throat pain has eased up so thankfully i wont have to be liquids only for as long as i thought. I was all hyperactive and cooked a great fancy omelette and it tastes like heaven itself! Its so weird how stuff tastes slightly diffetent when its the first time youve been able to chew with the right side of your mouth in five years. I guess the tastebuds on the sides of your tongue are slightly different? When i eat everything now im gonna be rolling it all over my mouth like WOW ITS ALL SO NEW AGAIN! Will probably look nuts in the middle of mcdonalds with my cheeks puffed like a squirrel XD

Oh and this is also a great excuse to drink loads of chocolate milkshakes from my milkshake viking mug! I feel so energized with calcium and yums!! EVERYTHING TASTES SO NEWWWWWWW

Oh man i do feel a bit sleepy again now after just being up for a few hours tho. I have these good jaw pain specific medicines i have to take for the next two weeks til my followup appointment to check if theres any infection left. But man i feel SO ALIVE AGAIN im pretty sure all the rot is gone! It feels so wild having space in my mouth and not constant clenchy tightness. It actually hurts less recovering from the surgery than it did before, lol! I can feel all my teeth moving apart again and loosening up into normality and the gums healing up all their injuries and oh god i just love how they cleaned out all the broken parts of my teeth and capped them with these great replacements that look so real you'd never be able to tell! My smile looks not ugly!! My smile looks not ugly!! Aaaaa! I just expected regaining the right side of my mouth, i didbt expect to e like "holy shit it must have hurt even more than i realized cos this feels so amazing now". Like i guess i got used to putting up with it and forgot how it felt to not have painmouth? Underestimated how good a teeth can be! And man i never asked for reconstructive cosmetic stuff too but they did these caps and aaa my teeth never looked his good even when they were new!! My front teeth were always crooked even before they did the weird balogna slam together and shattered into a pile of crap. And now they look like perfect supermodel teeth!! The only side effect is that its a lil hard to get used to the lack of gaps between them now after so long dealing with the shattered mess. My tongue keeps being like "oh no did something get stuck in the gaps again oh wait there arent any" and then i subconsciously try to clean them after taking every bite and just bite my tongue instead. Man i never noticed i picked up a bunch of weird mannerismd cos of tje bad teeth! I was constantly paranoidly checking my mouth 24/7 in case the slightest thing made it even worse, and eating super gently so that nothing accidentally touched the Wrong Tooth and set off a jolt of pain. And i actually needed to get a filling put in on the leftmost back tooth that was the ONLY TOOTH I COULD USE TO EAT WITHOUT PAIN for all this time! Overuse of it meant that it got ground down a little and probably would have become painful too if i'd left it any longer. Then i really would have been all soups all the time and that sucks!! Soups are good but nothing but then gives u stomach issues. The bad poops!!

Man sorry im rambling so much im just so hyper and happy and also still kinda dopily sleepy! Im not still delirious or anything i just feel the happy kind of sleepy where the anesthetic is all gone and its not "oh god i cant stay awake" and more natural sleepyness of a long day being over and everything being okay. I had such a good long nap and i feel well rested after getting so little sleep beforehand due to all the dumb anxiety. And i still feel dozey but happy doze~

Anyway its awesometo be able to really chug and crunch a foods! With the other side of my mouth i forgot about! And taste milkshake to its fullest extent!! Oh and whats weird is that the reconstructive surgery capping on my front teeth means that theyre kinda one tooth now? The caps are all linked in a single piece to fill the gaps fully without even the natural ones you'd have on healthy teeth. So its like a solid tooth guard just sculpted to look like three teeth. Itll be tricky to train myself out of thts subconcious rubbing the gaps with my tongue when theyre not even there. But i expect once i get over the unfamiliarity this triple cap will be really useful! Theyre totes reinforced so that even if i do get tight mouth problems again and the front teeth take the brunt of the pressure, now theres no gaps to smash into each other and become a painful mess. Its like scaffolding reinforcing my whole mouth by fixing the loadbearing beam, or something.

Oh also these pain meds make u a little bit more sleepy than normal paracetamol so i'll probably doze off again soon. But hopefully i will have slept off most of the "healing debt exhaustion" tomorrow and will be able to go walk down the shops and buy some icecream and other soft food. I mostly stocked up on purely liquid food cos i tjought my mouth function would be more limited. But honestly the teeth are working so much better than before, they were already so swollen and painful that i couldnt crunch stuff! Now the mild discomfort of mid-healing from surgery feels like barely anything and i bet i could bite thru a goddamn rock right now! I just cant really swallow crunchy stuff or stuff thats too salty or citrusy. I didnt even know about the stabbity throat pipe so i didnt expect it to be the most painful part that takes the longest to heal. It feels so weird cos i keep coughing like my brain thinks theres phelgm stuck in my throat when its actually a skin flap/blister from the insertion. So obviously that aint going anywhere and i have to try and force myself not to cough or swallow or else i set off this cjain of "must get thing out of throat must puke" reflex. And the pain feels like a sore throat but it isnt?? Its not really inflamed ot anything its just an actual friction burn on the opening of my airway. Which is not a common occurance so the brain is justvlike "what the fuck is happening, must send all contradicting signals at once!" So sore throat medicine wont work cos that goes down your throat passage to your stomach when really this lil skin tag blister thing is in the lung throat opening thing. And sucking on throat sweets made it worse cos all the muscles were really tense around the area where the tube was inserted, hence why it was hard to swallow food even tho it was my windpipe that hurt. And sucking on something is kinda like perpetually swallowing nothing, when you think about it? Im glad that the muscle tenseness is mostly gone now and the painkillers are helping with the ouch, and my brainis getting usedto not coughing and making it worse. But still should eat soft easily swallowable stuff for a lil while and it'll be fun to go aroundthe shops with my last pocketful of change and find neat ingredients to stick in omelettes. Im so excited to taste all my favourite things in new HD functional mouth power!!! And i can smile at the shopkeeper!!!

And oh man i really do think that my sleeping problems with stiff neck and that kind of 'bloodrush to the head' migraine were indeed part of the bad wisdom teeth bleeding internally under the gum. I thought it had to be that cos nothing else in my life changed around that time aside from getting a better and healthier bed which should have been beneficial to my neck. And even going back to sleepong on the floor like before didnt make a difference so it definately wasnt the bed! And it kept getting worse while nothing was changing, and i kept trying different things like changing my pillows and headphones and cutting caffeine out of my diet and eating more salt and eating less salt and fuckin ANYTHING ELSE cos i knew if it really was the dumb tooth being infected then there was nothong i could do about it til my surgery day arrived. Itd be such a relief to know for sure that it was indeed the tooth and now that nonsense is gonna be gone forever! But also thats really worrying to know that it was getting so bad it could have spread an infection to my jawbone and the top of my spine if itd been left much longer. I kept sneezing up blood lumps like the size of a fifty pence piece! Had never had nosebleeds for a decade and now suddenly all the time! God it feels so good to be able to lay my head down and not feel all woozy and tense im the forehead or neck. I really hope this good neck untenseness continues and the awful aches really were just the tooth. But everyone in the hospital was so nice that i think even if i do need a second surgery to check for jaw infection then id be able to be less nervoud than i was this time

Man do u ever get that thing where youre so peaceful and contented that like you can breathe easier? Like subconciously taking bigger breaths and the middle of your chest feels slightly puffed out and warm. I guess thats what the "heart leaping in yout chest" idiom is meant to refer to, lol! Or maybe i can just literally breathe easier cos the tooth pain might have been passing into my nasal cavity too, lol. My entire head feels so less tense!! Its like all my bones were rebelling against me and now they're at peace again!! Man i feel so giddy happy like i chugged a giant energy drink or something but its the opposite its a good sleeps drink XD

So im gonna go lie down again and have a relax and watch a movie or something and see if i pass out when the medicine kicks in, or if its not too bad and i can still continue my hyper mood. But my nap was so long that its too late to go to the shops now anyway so i'll just make more plain omelette and milkshake if i get hungry. I mean it doesnt taste plain when all my sense of taste is so amplified likethis! I dont mind if its all i can eat all week. PURE MILKSHAKEY DECADENCE

Aaaaa im just so happy!! I missed my chance to get the new. Kingdlm hearts but ive beenwaiting fkr this surgery for ages too and it feels like just as much of an exciting relief!

[oh-ishouldnt]

02. all you had to do was stay

This is 1989 series imagine

It was like a movie scene fading in. First, all black, then, the sound kicks in and there is a heated discussion, and finally, me and Joe in a car, going down a narrow road.

“Oh no, love, you didn’t just say that.” We both forgot how the arguing started; however, we wouldn't take back what we screamed.

“What? What is wrong with my sentence?” Joe snapped back. “Are you bothered with the truth? I can’t change the facts, Y/N!”

I was in his passenger seat, didn’t even know where we were going, but the drive was too dark to be interested in finding out. The car threw a yellow light on the pavement and I could see the wood that surrounded us, no car by our side or coming in the other way.

“You call this bullshit the truth?”

This made Joe angrier and he started speeding up the car, we weren’t fast enough to the adrenaline in our veins. I could even feel my cheeks getting red because of our rage.

“It is the truth, Y/N.”

“For fuck’s sake, stop calling me Y/N! You never call me Y/N! And, yes, Joseph, this is bullshit! You are just saying this because, in your crazy, stupid mind it is payback time!”

“What?” He looked at me surprised for a moment and put his eyes again on the road “Payback? What do you even talking about?”

“Payback for what I said to your sister sooner!”

“Of course it isn’t payback, Y/N. You know that I am not you and I don’t play your little mind games. I was thinking about getting angry with you for what you said to Zoe later tonight, but good that you remind me that now.”

“Mind games? I play mind games? Are you insane? Did you lose your mind? Maybe you forgot your brain in your apartment when you left there this morning! This would explain a lot.”

“Here you come with your sassy words. You think you are so fucking smart when you say this kind of thing, don’t you?” Joe looked at me again “What about you use all this energy you have to think that to actually do something useful instead?” He asked, “What about you-“

Another bright light washed the driveway and my first instinct was to see what it was. I screamed “Joe!”, interrupting my boyfriend, as my heart raced, nevertheless it was too late, the other car was heading straight to us.

Joe tried to avoid the crash and threw the car out the road. The time slowed down and I heard the wheels making its loud shrill noise, felt my body getting flung against Joe.

We were getting upside down and I understood the car was flipping around. The side airbags explode, silly and useless; the safety belt pressed my lungs and one of my ribs cracked inside me. Something told me that it wasn’t the worst part of my future state.

I couldn’t scream, I couldn’t take Joe’s hand, it was crazy slow and crazy fast at the same. The broken glass surrounded me when we all hit the floor. We didn’t stop flipping and the car turned around again. And again.

That is when I open my eyes and my white ceiling starts to focus.

I am sweating as I never did, out of breath on my bed. I stare at the whiteness, terrified with my nightmare and waiting for myself to calm down. The dream didn’t make sense, still, the feeling of getting shot against death is scary enough for me.

I take my phone to check the clock and the alarm starts to ring just as my hand touches the device. Time to get going. I get up, my feet touch the floor that got cold throughout the night and go to my bathroom.

I need to work today, however, it’s Friday so it’s better than Monday. I shower, forgetting to put some music to play, my mind is fixed on that crazy nightmare.

The worst part is not the nightmare itself; it is the fact that, when I woke up, I didn’t have Joe by my side to say it was all good. And I am not 100% sure that this is a bad thing, because he was the one who trusted and broke all we had for some mysterious reason that I want to say that is the fact he isn’t ready for a real relationship, for putting himself out in the world, for me. I need to make me believe in that so I can put myself together.

           Part of my recovering is giving all of me to the company I work in, so I get none left when I come home at the end of the day and I can sleep my troubles away. Obviously I am going to find out another solution as my day passes by since my dreams are turning into nightmares, but for now, I get ready to work.

           The metro is busy as always is, you can’t ask anything different from London by morning, and I live here time enough to know that I need to be ready for this little everyday issue. I get to my office building just when I planned to.

           I say hi to all my colleagues from work and wish all the staff a good morning, none of them believing my wishes since I have a face that I passed a tough night. One of my friends from here works on the desk by my side and she even gets a “How you doing?” when I go to my place.

           And casually resting on my desk there is a huge flower arrangement. My eyes wide and it melts my heart for just one single second, just one because I know who sent the gorgeous flowers.

           I take the golden little card that came with my beautiful arrange, I read it and let the card fall on my desk. It says “downstairs”.

           I watch the elevator metal doors opening and ignore my racing heart. It is the second time today it races like that and it isn’t even half of the day. I instantly see an anxious Joe waiting for me.

           My ex spots me and starts walking towards my direction.

           “What do you want?” I ask him before he can open his mouth.

           He looks at me and I know what he is thinking What do you think I want sending flowers and showing up, love?, this is what he would say if we were still dating.

           “Y/N, please, let me just talk to you.” He begs.

           My nightmare wasn’t a big surprise for me, actually. I’ve been ignoring Joe’s calls for the past week. I don’t know what he wants me to say, considering he dumped me like I was no one special, cutting me out of his life in the blink of an eye and it was hard enough for me stitching myself without him calling me all the time.

           “I don’t want to hear you, Joe.” I shrug. “Most of all, you don’t want to hear what I got to say to you.”

           “Look, Y/N/N, I know I messed up, okay?” He passes his hands through his hair “But I am suffering the whole Hell since we broke up and I am not a guy who gets back with someone but right here, right now, I am telling you that I changed my mind, I was stupid and please…”

           “Joe, stop,” I tell.

           “No, you do not understand…”

           “No, Joe, you are the one who isn’t…”

           “Y/N, please…” Joe gets closer and my air vanishes, I forgot how blue his eyes were those months we were apart.

           “Joe…” I am the one who is begging now, his left hand holds my arm.

           “I just want to say that I love you, okay?”

           He says he loves me looking in my eyes, making my whole body shakes and he thinks I will let him make this moment longer, however, a sudden rage burst insides me and my cheeks turn red just as they did in my dream.

I push him “Let me remind you: this was what you wanted.” Just as he did with me, I stare his amazing eyes, steady, I am not bonding here. “You ended it.” And now, to my humiliation, I feel the tears bursting as my rage did. “You were all I wanted…” I tell him “But not like this…” I admit, my shoulders fall and I face the ground. It isn’t fair to me. “Not like this…” I wanted him back for so long and I wanted him to say those words even longer. He never told me that loved me when we dated, how can he just shot at me those three words like that? In the middle of this situation? “Not like this.” I feel Joe’s arms around me and I let him do that, all that is left of my voice is a whisper and this is how loud I finally say the words I need to: “All you had to was stay.”

Joe only understands only now what I’ve been trying to communicate. I am hurt, I am in pain, I love him so much, since the first time I met him. I also love myself and this is why I can’t ignore what he did.

“If you need me to stay, this is what I will do.” He promises, then he kisses my forehead “I’m sorry.” And walks away, giving me space to heal.

I go back to the office with a ruined mascara and a running nose. I walk to my desk, the co-workers that actually notice me, leave me alone, the others keep their lives happening as any other day. The only one who speaks to me is my friend from the desk by my side.

“What happened?” She asks.

I face my flowers and they make me smile a little.

“Nothing” I respond and I turn around to go to the bathroom fix my makeup, I have a long day ahead.

[dreamca7cher]

Dreamcatcher Dream of US in LA Fanmeet write-up

Hello friends! I have enjoyed reading fanmeet write-ups from others in the past, so I figured that those who weren’t able to go might like to give this a read. *Disclaimer* this is ridiculously long, It was actually about twice as long before I condensed and edited. I’ve had a week now to supplement my memory with the fancams and photos that have been trickling out, but I do apologize if I’ve misremembered or left anything out.

I basically jumped at the chance to attend kcon as soon as I read that Dreamcatcher would be there. I was lucky to get some good P1 seats with 2 other kpop-loving friends. At first I was a little bummed that DC was billed as a special guest, which meant they would not be doing any official kcon “artist engagement” activities like hi-touch. But then news of their solo LA fan meeting was announced and I was absolutely ecstatic. It just so happened that my flight was scheduled to arrive early enough Friday to make it to the fanmeet venue just in time.  On the day tickets were to go on sale, I barely got anything done at work and watched my computer clock like a hawk, refreshing the site every millisecond, ten seconds before ticket sales opened. Fortunately, I was lucky to secure one of the 125 seated spots. This would be my first in-person experience of any kind concerning kpop, so I was insanely excited and simultaneously nervous af.

I arrived at the venue about 15 minutes before it was scheduled to start and saw a decent line around this real hole-in-the-wall looking place. The people in line said it was for the seated spots, which surprised me. I thought there would be more standing than seated positions, but it turns out there were only maybe 10-15 people standing. It was hot as balls out there, and we were standing directly in the sun so we were all quickly drenched in sweat. I learned later that the girls had actually arrived earlier in a black van in front of the venue. I was probably still in transit at that time, but it must have been nice for the fans already standing in line to get that first glimpse of them! When we finally made it inside, the staff checked our names off a list and we were able to sign a giant American flag that the girls would hold later for a group picture. The fans who did not bring their own album to be signed were given a small poster. It was basically free for all seating, I was on the far right side on the last row but no matter – the venue was small enough to see everything clearly. As soon as I sat down I realized either the A/C wasn’t on.. or there was none at all. There were a few floor fans pointed at the stage, but I felt bad for the girls once they entered and I saw they were wearing sorta heavy looking tops L There was a slightly raised wooden stage in the front and a long table for them to sit at. Two tall speakers flanked the stage, but the music later wasn’t too loud. The crowd was ethnically diverse and probably around a 50%-50% gender split, proving Dreamcatcher’s wide appeal to all sorts of fans. It was however a much older crowd than the average makeup of the kcon attendees, as this was not a boy group.

The girls soon entered, which was such a surreal moment. It was almost like I couldn’t believe they were real people ya know? Having only watched them on video, it’s more like you’re watching a fictional movie sometimes. I know it’s cliché, but they really are sooo much prettier in person. I think they did look a little tired and/or nervous, but their smiles were illuminating and they did little fan service gestures whenever possible. They did their standard introduction with JiU speaking the most as leader, with small remarks like how hot it was and that it was nice to meet all of us. I thought Yoohyeon would speak the most, but she was probably nervous to use her English with us. The event went straight into the fan-signing with rows lining up one by one while the crowd was free to take pictures/videos. There are much better quality videos out there from the front, but I’ll post my crappy phone videos in case anyone wants to see from the right-hand perspective. I apologize for any shaking, as tripods were not allowed. The signing was fairly quick, everyone had just about enough time for each of the girls to sign their album or poster and maybe exchange a sentence or two.

I was one of like the last 4 people to go since I was at the back, and by this point my adrenaline was going crazy. I’ve never fainted before, but if there would be a time to, then that would be it. I didn’t know if this was strictly allowed, but I did see a few fans high five the members. I refrained however because then that would mean I could never wash that hand (j/k I didn’t want any chance of getting kicked out). So I decided to stick to a compliment or two which I had gone over in my head again and again for a few days prior. I wrote down a longer version of what I was going to say on some notes, since that’s all we were allowed to gift the girls. I had also decided to write my notes on origami paper of their favorite colors and fold my notes into paper cranes to stand out, because I am a crazy person. The research (I got their favorite colors from an interview which I’ll post later), the writing, and the folding all took much long than I anticipated which resulted in me only getting 1 hour of sleep Thursday night before my early flight. So this all culminated in a peak state of nervousness. All too soon it was my turn! I won’t go into what exactly I said or what was in my notes, it was just basically a compliment or encouragement. SuA was first, she waved and said hi as I approached. She was consistently the most hyper and playful that day, possibly because it was her birthday. She seemed really genuine too, and seemed the most relaxed I think. Handong was second, she was predictably shy, but was very appreciative of the crane and said it was cute. Her signature is the most unique too. I wrote some really crappy Chinese in my note that I hope she could read haha.. Next was Siyeon, she looked a bit tired, but she was hella pulling off the dark concept look with her black hair and colored contacts. She also spoke a lot of English that day, even if it wasn’t complete sentences like Yoohyeon. I think previous reports are accurate too, she was very quirky with her mannerisms. JiU was in the middle, and was positively glowing  :O she was smiling pretty much the whole time and I think even picked up the crane and flapped it around a little adorably. It was hard not to grin widely as well the whole time. Idk JiU just has this like unlimited energy that shines no matter how hot or tired she was. I pictured her as like a Super Saiyan or something with her positive aura. Yoohyeon was next and also looked a little tired. But she said a few things in English to me, and had an absolutely gorgeous smile. I haven’t 100% settled on a bias yet, but girl makes it hard to not choose her. Gahyeon was 6th and actually was saying a lot of things in English. She also seemed to like the crane a lot and has a really cute smile. Dami was last, and was so cool and reserved. She’s really good at the appreciative head nod, no wonder she seemed to be the most popular that day. I forgot to tell all of them that the cranes were actually notes they could unfold and read, I may have told 2-3 of them but I’m not sure if they understood. Ah well. The whole signing probably only lasted a couple minutes, but seeing them up close and actually chatting with them is something I will never forget. After the staff also got their signatures, they moved the big table so the girls could perform.

First up was You and I, and boy was it a sight to behold in person. Their movements were so sharp and energetic, and it’s probably my favorite choreography of any kpop song. They just lip-synced which is ok, since it let me focus on the dance. Dami’s baton reveal probably got the loudest cheer, it was really awesome to see up close, and she does it so nonchalantly. Siyeon’s scarf throw also got a loud cheer. SuA definitely had the most powerful dancing, as expected.  I didn’t know all the fanchants, but the other InSomnias obliged well. The girls sprinkled in little hearts and waves to the audience throughout the performance. Right after, they performed Full Moon, which was a very nice gift to the American InSomnias  :] The chest pumping part probably had the loudest cheers, as it was the fiercest part of the choreo. During Dami’s solo rap part, she came up real close and waved to everyone, which also brought lots of cheers. The part where SuA and Handong get dragged across the floor was also popular for some reason. I haven’t watched as many fancams of Full Moon, but I really like the choreo, especially Siyeon’s parts. She rules that performance with her movements and expressions.

After the performance, the girls played a question and answer game from a board made up of stick notes that the crowd had written earlier (via translator). The first question I think was for SuA to do a solo funny dance. She asked “no music?” and Siyeon tried to do beatboxing and failed hard hahaha. So Yoohyeon sang to and SuA did a short hilarious dance to Dame Tu Cosita before collapsing in embarrassment. It was so adorable XD the 2nd question was what was the girls favorite Dreamcatcher song. SuA said Mayday, and sang her part a bit. The next question was “what’s it like performing for fans who don’t speak Korean and understand the lyrics?” Handong said that there was nonetheless a connection and that she was surprised and thankful that fans still sing along to the songs. SuA also said we felt like family, sister, brother, mother, father.. lol. The next question was what is your favorite choreography/point move? JiU said she likes the “baby you and I” part of You and I, and Yoohyeon likes the Chase Me part where they grab their hair lol. SuA likes the kiss blowing parts, and Siyeon likes when the members are dragged in Full Moon (probably because it’s not her being dragged haha). Then there was a question about superpowers, and Gahyeon said teleportation and JiU said she never wanted to get tired so she could always meet her fans, like the perfect leader she is. Siyeon said “you already do that” lol. Then Dami was asked how the baton worked, which I’m sure we all have always wondered. It’s basically like a spring-loaded telescoping thing held by a cap. Super cool, and got a resounding applause. Next was one of the more anticipated questions “which member would you marry?” and SuA immediately stood up lol. Siyeon took the mic and said JiU, because she makes really cute noises when she sleeps, revealing her creeper status lolol. Siyeon asked “will you marry me” and JiU said “oooh, yes” lmao. The next question was who has the best legs, to which Yoohyeon crossed her legs expectantly. But then she said she thought Handong has the best legs and asked her to stand up, which she did! Doing some model poses for us, very uncharacteristically ^^ JiU also said Handong has the straightest legs. Then Dami was asked to do some aegyo! Haha poor Dami, she chose to say “hi, nice to meet you, thank you” very adorably. The girls were then asked what songs they listen to in their personal time. SuA is currently obsessed with This is America and did the iconic gun pose lol. Siyeon likes Ariana Grande, and sang some No Tears Left to Cry. They were then asked what artists they want to collaborate with, and Yoohyeon said Day6 which got a big cheer. I also love Day6, and that would be such a match made in heaven! She also beautifully sang a little bit of Letting Go. Siyeon said she wanted to cover Sean Mendes Treat You Better and SuA wanted to do a Taylor Swift song. They were asked about actors they want to meet in LA, and they said the Avengers lol. I think they visited Hollywood Boulevard and said they kinda felt like they met them because there were people dressed up in costumes. Gahyeon also wanted to meet Daniel Henney because he lives in LA. Then JiU said I want to meet my fans with this huge dorky smile lol. The next question was about any future America tour plans, and JiU said of course, and asked us to visit them again next time. They were then asked who their other favorite kpop group was, and JiU said Red Velvet. Yoohyeon asked if she could dance a little bit, so JiU cutely danced to Bad Boy briefly. Siyeon also said KARD. They were asked what their favorite part of LA was, and SuA said she really liked In-N-Out burger and that it was yummy, specifically combo #3 lol. She also wanted to ride rides at Santa Monica and swim, to which Siyeon reminded her that she can’t swim lmao. The last question was about their favorite quotes. Dami’s motto is “in life there are no answers, so do what makes you happy”. JiU said “let’s live happy”, which she definitely exudes all the time ^^. Also that we were all beautiful and smart enough, so to live a happy life. Yoohyeon said that her mom always said to her “if you have a dream, imagine it will happen, and it will be”. Lastly, the girls took a group photo with all three of the sections, holding the American flag we signed earlier. JiU closed out with thanks and a promise they would see us again. SuA said thank you for celebrating my birthday, and Handong said thank you for your passion. Then the staff brought out a birthday cake and we surprised SuA by singing happy birthday. She looked so happy the entire time, and  even did a little moonwalk haha. Dami did one last tour around the crowd waving to everyone, and that was it.

And the rest of the weekend was downhill! J/k the kcon stages were amazing, and I saw them again multiple times at the convention, but the fanmeet was of course the highlight of the trip. As my first in-person kpop experience, this will definitely be hard to top. I vaguely wondered before the fanmeet if finally meeting them in person would diminish my perfect image of them in my head, but actually the opposite is true. Now they feel like real people I know, which just makes me like them even more. I was also very proud of the American InSomnias, everyone was respectful, there were no crazy incidents, no one had to be thrown out by security, it just went as smooth as can be. I also want to thank 7-dreamers for organizing this whole thing, and for the smooth operation. I could talk forever about my experiences, but I will end it here. Maybe I’ll do a write-up of the convention and concert if anyone’s interested? Thanks for reading!

[my-one-love-is-music]

It Takes Two Ch. 15

So it's been a while, hasn't it? *nervous chuckling*

I was very busy finishing up the end of the semester and with graduation. But I've been back on a regular update schedule for the past two weeks and I'm hoping to keep things that way for now.

Hope you enjoy the chapter! We're finally getting back to some action hehe.

Also on AO3!

Tim frowned at his files. He hadn’t looked at them in days and had been considering them less and less, but now that he was leaning back against Jason’s chest on the couch with the remains of their breakfast dishes around them, his mind was finally unfocused enough to consider their scientist again.

“What’s got your good mood going south so fast, Babybird?” Jason asked, wrapping his arms around his stomach.

“Just,” he waved his hand at his computer, “all of this. The more I think about what’s been going on with these experiments, the more I realize how little is being done about this right now. It shouldn’t be taking this long to track down Robert Anderson. There can’t be that many people in this city with that name, even if he is keeping a low profile and trying not to leave a paper trail. There has to be something.”

He growled and ran his hands through his hair, tugging at the strands. Jason covered his hands before he could do much damage and slowly rubbed circles into them to ease out the tension and the threat of ripping his hair out.

“We can get this fixed,” Jason murmured. “And I have an idea of just what we can do.”

Tim stilled in his hold, smile pulling at his lips. He looked over his shoulder at Jason behind him. “I’m sensing something brewing that Bruce wouldn’t approve of.”

Jason’s grin was sharp. “And you’d be right.”

Tim wiggled out of his hold and set his laptop on the coffee table next to the plates and cups. He turned and crossed his legs, eagerly waiting for Jason’s explanation.

“Well?” he prodded.

“Now that I’m all healed, I think it’s about time we go patrolling again.”

“You’re joking.”

Jason shook his head.

“Okay, not joking. How do you expect us to pull this off when Bruce is going to have eyes on us all the time.”

“Who said we had to do this without him knowing?”

“So you’re looking to start a fight?” Tim asked. “And risk getting dragged all the way back to the Manor?”

Jason’s grin died a little at the mention of being dragged to the Manor, but he straightened. “It’s a risk I’m willing to take as long as I’ve got you there with me. Besides, he can’t really force us to do anything. We’re legally adults, and I’m legally dead so I don’t think him suing his dead son in court is really going to hold up all that much.”

“Unless he’s trying to plead himself insane,” Tim muttered.

Jason chuckled. “And we all know that the last thing Batman needs is to be locked up in Arkham with all the people he put there.”

“Batman aside, everyone would want to make pretty boy Brucie their bitch,” Tim added.

Jason stared at him for a minute. “Where have you been hiding your sass for so long? How has no one been murdered because of this yet?”

Tim’s grin was sharp. “Now where would the fun be in letting everyone in on my little secrets?” he asked, leaning forward and wrapping his arms around Jason’s shoulders.

“Where indeed?” Jason agreed, pulling Tim more firmly against him and forcing him out of his cross-legged position. They slid down on the couch, Tim pillowed on Jason’s chest and he felt twin tendrils of warmth spread through his chest.

“What are we going to do until tonight then?” Tim sighed.

“Lay around on the couch. Do what we usually do and watch movies. Order pizza,”  Jason suggested.

“We can’t keep ordering pizza.”

“Sure we can!” Jason said, reaching over for the remote. “The vigilante lifestyle is great for keeping the waist trim.”

“Yeah, it’ll just add high cholesterol to our already high blood pressure.”

“No one’s blood pressure is ever going to be as high as B’s,” Jason said, smiling down at Tim.

“And it’s going to be entirely our fault.”

“Took the words right out of my mouth. Now,” he said, flicking on the T.V., “what are you in the mood to watch?”

Tim shrugged and hid his smile in Jason’s chest. “Whatever’s on. I’m just looking to kill time until tonight when I can finally suit up again.”

“You and me both.” Jason shifted underneath him and dropped a hand on Tim’s hip, thumb rubbing into his side. He started flicking through the channels, bypassing the news stations and the boring weekend shows that played in the mornings as they searched for something that was actually good to watch.

~~

“Jason stop,” Tim said as he tried to pull on his uniform.

Jason wrapped his arms around Tim from behind and lifted his feet from the ground. He was only dressed in his cargo pants and boots and hadn’t even strapped his leg holsters on yet. Tim had to keep from staring when he caught sight of his symbol on Jason’s chest because that was still something he wasn’t used to seeing. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever be used to seeing it.

His stomach fluttered happily at both the sight of his symbol and at having Jason behind him. Jason pressed his lips to the back of his neck lightly enough to tickle and Tim squirmed in his hold.

“Come on, Jason.”

“Come on, yourself,” Jason said. “It’s still early and we probably want to wait a little bit for them to get out so they don’t notice our presence right away. It’s better if B’s in the middle of his patrol when we show up. Besides, I think it’s better if we head to an area where our lovely little scientist friend might be hanging out.”

Tim fought to turn in Jason’s hold even as his feet were hanging off the ground. Once Jason realized he wasn’t trying to break out of his hold, he helped him. Tim wrapped his legs around Jason’s waist, the top half of his uniform hanging below him from where it was connected to the waist of his pants. He wrapped one arm around Jason’s shoulders and carded the fingers of his other hand through Jason’s hair.

Jason’s eyes drooped at the sensation and he grinned. “Keep doing that and I’m not going to let you go at all.”

Tim paused. “That doesn’t sound so bad, but…we have somewhere we need to be.” He dropped his legs from Jason’s waist and the pull of gravity brought him to the ground. He ducked out of the circle of Jason’s arms and grabbed the top of his suit, sliding his arms into the sleeves.

Jason sighed and watched him before he snatched his undershirt from the dresser. He slipped it over his head and grabbed the plates of his body armor, carefully fastening them around his torso to avoid pinching his skin.

Tim pulled the zipper up and reached for his cape, clipping it to his shoulders before slipping his utility belt around his waist to secure over his hips. Almost subconsciously, his fingers brushed over his hip where Jason’s mark was hidden underneath the Kevlar. Jason tried to grab him as he moved to pull on his boots, but he slipped out of reach with a chuckle.

He heard the clicks of Jason’s holsters behind him and looked over his shoulder to find Jason shaking out his leather jacket. Tim smiled and grabbed their domino masks, passing the red one to Jason who took the chance to pull him against his chest. He pressed a kiss to Tim’s cheek making him squirm in his hold.

“You’re such a dork,” he said, holding up the domino to Jason.

“Not my problem.” He plucked the domino from Tim’s fingers and placed it over his eyes and slipped his helmet on after, locking the clasps into place.

Tim put his own domino on and slipped his hands into gauntlets. He rolled his shoulders, feeling the muscles loosen up. He flashed a grin over his shoulder. “Ready?” he asked.

“Of course,” Jason said. “Let’s go kick some ass.”

They shut off the lights in Tim’s apartment and slipped out of the window, climbing up the fire escape to stand on the roof as a breeze ruffled Tim’s cape. The sky was covered with thick clouds that smothered what little light managed to break through the pollution hanging in the sky.

Tim sprinted to the edge of the building and fired his grapple, flying from his building to the next. Jason caught up to him quickly.

“Do you even have any idea where you’re going?” Jason asked as they jumped the gap between one roof to the next, their boots making gravel skid in front of them.

“Nope,” Tim said, cheerfully. “I figure that we can head to the Narrows and see if there’s any suspicious vans around abducting people. It might give us a chance to see if Anderson is back to kidnapping new test subjects.”

“You got it,” Jason said, quickly changing direction to head to the worse part of town.

“Want to split up so that we can cover more territory?” Tim asked.

“Is that the best idea when we should be watching each other’s backs because of the whole possibly getting crippled by each other’s pain thing?”

Tim sighed. “This is going to be tedious.”

“Never said it wasn’t,” he agreed.

“Better get started before we get stopped.”

Jason pulled ahead of Tim on the rooftops and Tim pushed himself to stay with him. It felt thrilling to be running again. He hadn’t realized just how cooped up he’d been in his apartment without much to do besides laying around inside and doing schoolwork and anything else that might catch his attention. At this rate, he was already itching to get into a fight, the first dredges of adrenaline dumped into his system at the thought of beating someone up with his bo.

“Someone looks happy,” Jason said as Tim pulled up next to him.

Tim grinned and chuckled a little breathlessly. “I forgot about how great it was to be out on the rooftops.”

Jason laughed. “Me too.”

They skidded to a stop at the edge of the Narrows, looking down onto the dimly lit streets around them. The curtains were drawn on the surrounding buildings or windows were darkened, either to keep suspicion of would be criminals away from them or because they couldn’t afford to pay the electric bill to keep the lights on.

The streets were devoid of cars and Tim spotted one person in a black hoodie huddled in a darkened doorway. There was one other person several blocks down that was at the edge of an alley smoking a cigarette. Tim was surprised they were taking the risk since there wasn’t any traffic on the streets.

“We should go east and circle the edge of the narrows,” Tim suggested.

“There’s more likely going to be people out on the edges since they feel safer and anyone who’s picking up people is going to have an easier escape route without attracting attention or retribution from the other members of the Narrows,” Jason added.

“If there’s anyone that would willingly defend someone who’s being abducted,” Tim muttered.

Jason hummed his agreement and fired his grapple to the next building. They were in a more rundown area, but things weren’t crumbling so it was still safe to grapple through the streets.

Tim kept an eye on the streets as they moved further through the buildings. There were a couple alleys where hooded figures were huddled, some of them were homeless, Tim was sure others were peddling drugs, and more than one mugger was waiting for a victim to pass by.

Jason paused when they reached a cross street and Tim perched beside him. There was a black van on the street. It looked beat up and Tim was sure if they could see clearly, the sides where it was dented would have paint scratches and rust covering it. To anyone else it wouldn’t look like it was moving at anything other than a normal pace, but in reality the drivers were no doubt surveying the sidewalks and alleys for anyone that was nearby.

“You thinking what I’m thinking?” Jason asked.

“Yup,” Tim said.

Jason rubbed his gloved hands together. “What do you say we go in with a bang?”

“Don’t kill anyone yet,” Tim said, reaching to stop him as he aimed his grapple.

“I was thinking of dropping in on their van instead,” he said, firing his grapple and jumping from the roof.

Tim watched as he expertly swung over the street and loosened and retracted his grapple once he was suspended just in front of the van. The drop from gravity brought him down on the hood of the van, it’s wheels screeching as it swerved from the sudden surprise. Jason kept his balance with the movement and pulled out his gun, aiming at whoever was inside the van.

It braked harshly and Tim took the chance to fire his grapple and swing down next to it. He pulled his bo from his belt and extended it with a flick of his wrist. He looked through the side window and found two rough looking men seated in the car.

Jason squatted on the hood and waved his gun to the side, signaling the driver and passenger to climb out. They each put one of their hands up, moving to push the doors open with their other hands.

Tim saw Jason move first. He jumped backwards off the hood of the van before the men pulled out guns. The driver aimed a shot that broke the windshield, but Jason dodged. Tim spun out of the way, flattening himself against the side of the van. He swung his bo and smashed the window of the van. Glass tinkled to the ground and Tim didn’t give the gunman a chance to aim before he was shoving the edge of his bo through the window, using the side mirror to get a clear shot to his temple.

The driver shoved his door open and slipped out, but he didn’t make it a step before Jason aimed a shot at his leg. He yelled before crashing to the pavement, clutching at his leg with one hand while still aiming with his other. Jason blindly aimed around the side of the van and fired off a shot. He heard it skid against the pavement and cursed under his breath.

Tim ignored it and wrenched the door of the van open, pulling the disoriented passenger from the van and shoving him onto the road. He pressed his boot against the back of his hand that was holding the gun until his grip loosened. Tim kicked it to the side and bent to tie the guy’s hands behind his back. A bullet skidded past him and he jumped back.

“Hood get the gun from that other shooter,” Tim grit out. “He’s shooting under the van.”

“Shit,” he cursed.

The guy in front of Tim was already trying to reach for the gun he’d knocked out of his hand. He used the extended reach of his bo and shoved the gun further out of reach before whacking him on the side of the head. He groaned and slumped against the ground.

Tim turned and searched for a hold on the side of the van to pull himself up on the roof, but a pained yell sounded before he could.

“Fucking piece of shit,” Jason muttered.

“Fuck you,”  the other guy spat.

“I’ve already got someone ten times hotter than you to do that for me.”

Tim bit his lip to stop the laugh from spilling from his lips. He sighed, finally letting his shoulders relax. He pulled a tie from his belt and knelt over the body in front of him, securing his hands behind his back. He grabbed the back of his jacket and dragged him around the van to where Jason as struggling to get the other guy tied up.

He sighed and smacked him on the side of the head, making him still long enough to secure his hands, one of which was bleeding, behind his back. Tim dropped his catch at Jason’s feet.

“Fucking vigilantes.”

Tim rolled his eyes.

“Shut it,” Jason growled. He knelt in front of the other guy who glared at him. “Now, you’re going to tell us what you’re doing prowling around the edge of the narrows.”

“I’m not going to tell you shit.”

Jason sighed. “Looks like this isn’t going to end well with you. Red, you might want to look away.”

Tim rolled his eyes. “Whatever. You don’t hurry it up and I’ll do it myself. I’m going to check out the van.”

The guy stilled on the ground and looked back at Tim sharply.

“Oooh so you don’t like that, do you?” Jason asked. He gripped the guy’s black hair and turned his head back towards him. “I guess we should see what’s behind door number one.”

Tim slipped around the back and grabbed the handles of the doors. They pulled open easily and he shoved the doors open, surprised they hadn’t been locked.

“What kind of bad guys don’t keep the back of their van locked?” he muttered. His eyes widened when his eyes finally adjusted to the darkness within.

Muffled screams met his ears and he caught sight of two teenagers tied up and gagged on the floor. There was an array of tools and weapons attached to the sides of the van.

“Well, Red?” Jason asked, breaking him out of his thoughts.

“We’ve got two abductees tied up back here. It’s time he starts talking,” Tim spat.

“No, wait!”

“Shut it,” Jason said. “No one wants to hear your protests. The only thing we care about is information and you might as well give it to us before we get you locked up or send you six feet under if I’m not feeling so generous.”

Tim stepped up into the van and crouched in front of the boy who was staring at him with wide eyes. He reached forward and eased the duct tape off his mouth, trying to be as gentle as possible.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he immediately started saying.

“Shh,” Tim said, gently. “Can you tell me what happened to you? How long have you been back here?”

He shook his head. “I got picked up earlier tonight, grabbed from the sidewalk and beat around before they tied me up and shoved tape over my mouth to keep me quiet.”

Tim nodded. A pained yell sounded from beside the van and the boy flinched back.

“It’s okay. We’re just taking care of the guys who kidnapped you. Do you know what they wanted with you?”

He shook his head, eyeing the doors of the van behind Tim.

“Okay,” Tim said and reached for the tape over the girl’s mouth. She immediately screamed and Tim clapped a hand over her mouth. “Please calm down,” he sighed. “You’re going to be safe but we can’t have a lot of attention drawn to us. Can you keep quiet for now?”

She stared at him with wide eyes before nodding quickly. Tim carefully removed his hand, waiting for any sign she might scream again, but she kept silent.

“What happened to you?” Tim asked.

“I was grabbed on a street corner. I didn’t really know what was happening until I was tied up and thrown in the back of this van,” she explained, voice low.

Tim nodded. “Did they say anything strange to you? Maybe to hint at why they were taking you?”

She shook her head. “They didn’t really say anything to me other than that I should keep quiet and they wouldn’t hurt me.”

Tim nodded and opened his mouth to say something else.

A loud crack sounded outside of the van before a scream sounded. Tim sighed and backed off the two teenagers.

“Excuse me for a minute,” he said, stepping out of the van. He swung around the side and found Jason with his boot on the leg of the driver.

Tim sighed and shook his head, rubbing his fingers against his temple.

“What?” Jason asked. “What did I do?”

If you enjoy my work, please reblog or consider buying me a ko-fi!

[chasholidays]

The 100: Clarke is a street medic, Bellamy punches a Nazi and some good ol' fashion anti-fascist romance ensues. (Bonus points if Clarke also punches a Nazi?) ❤️

It’s always nice, in a kind of weird way, when Clarke sees someone she knows, but doesn’t know very well, at a protest.

She likes to assume that most of the people in her life, even the passing acquaintances, are at least against the Trump administration, and that many of them are opposed enough to be taking direct action, but it’s always nice to have those feelings confirmed.

And it is, admittedly, especially nice to have those feelings confirmed with someone she is lowkey crushing on.

Not that it’s surprising, really, that Bellamy Blake is a revolutionary. He’s not white and not straight, both of which are good indicators on their own, let alone together, and he’s always struck her as the kind of person who stands up for what he believes in.

He’s also a trainer at her gym and stupidly ripped, which is probably why she becomes aware of him in the middle of a fight, punching some guy who’s trying to hassle a couple kids who don’t even seem to be involved in the whole thing, just passing through.

She doesn’t see him, specifically, right away; she’s making her way over to the altercation, trying to figure out what’s going on and if she can break it up, when she sees one guy throw a punch, and another guy punching back, and by the time she realizes that one of the guys on her side is Bellamy, it’s too late for her to do much except help get the girls out of danger.

“Hey, Blake, I’ve got the kids!” she says, sees his eyes flick over to her for just a second, just long enough to see who she is and what she’s doing before he turns his attention back to the fight.

“Thanks, doc,” he says, moving to shield them, still ready to keep fighting. The girls are probably high-school aged, wearing Hillary Clinton shirts but not, apparently, actually involved in the rally, and Clarke checks them both over while listening to the fight with one ear. It’s growing, of course; these things always do.

“What were you guys doing down here?” she asks one of the girls.

“Just walking,” she says. “We heard there was stuff happening, so we wore the shirts, but we’re just going to the movies.”

“Bullies always pick on people they think won’t fight back. They wanted to hassle someone and you guys were there. I’m sorry,” she adds.

The girl shrugs, pragmatic. “We knew it might happen. And it’s not like they did anything to us. They called us names and then your friend showed up to walk with us.”

“Do you think he’s okay?” the other girl adds. “He got hit.”

“Trust me, I’m checking on him after I check on you. But he should be fine. He’s pretty tough.”

“Will you thank him for us?” the first girl adds. “He was really nice.”

“I definitely will. Where are you guys going?”

The movie theater is in sight of where they are, but Clarke walks them anyway, just to be safe. She’s not much of a fighter, but she’s older and knows how to look intimidating enough that no one hassles them again.

Once they’re inside, she head back where she came from, planning to go check on the fight, try to find Bellamy, but he finds her first, falling into step with her.

“Cover for me? Cops broke it up, but I don’t really want to talk to them, so–”

She slides her arm into his, leans her head against his shoulder. “Couple going on a movie date?”

“Perfect. Hi, by the way. Nice to see you.”

“You too. Those girls said to thank you. How are you doing?”

“I’ve been better. Did you seriously come to a rally with a first-aid kit?”

“I worked in an ER every summer during college. I might as well use it. Did you come to punch a Nazi?”

“I’m always hoping, but it’s never actually worked out before.” He puts his face in her hair as a couple cops pass, she assumes to hide the damage she hasn’t gotten a chance on check yet. But it’s also a little bit nice, if she’s honest. She needs more cuddling in her life.

Once they’re in the clear, she holds the door open for him. “Come on, they might have a family bathroom.”

“I think they’ll think we’re trying to hook up.”

“Yeah, I like them bloody and achy.”

“Adrenaline is an aphrodisiac for some people.” He wets his lips, looking around. “There’s a chair, I can sit in a chair, right? They aren’t going to kick me out.”

“We can always buy tickets to something if they make us. Here, sit down.”

She gets him settled, facing away from the windows in case anyone is seriously trying to find him, and gets her first good look at him. His hair is always kind of messy, but it’s obviously not deliberate now, going every which way and like someone was pulling it, and his eye is already starting to blacken. There’s a little blood on his lip, but nothing too bad.

He’s also wearing a tight pansexual pride shirt that makes his arms look even larger than normal, but she probably shouldn’t think about that until she’s got him cleaned up.

“So, this was your first time punching a Nazi, right?”

“Not for lack of trying. Not that I come to these to pick a fight,” he adds. “But I know I actually can win the fight, and not everyone can.”

“Yeah. That’s why I bring the first aid kit and water bottles. I can be a warm body, and if anything bad happens, I can help out. Was anyone else fighting on our side, or just you?”

“A couple others. I think they’re fine. I was in the middle.”

“You got off pretty light.”

“You haven’t looked at my hand yet.”

She winces. “Fuck, I forgot. Split knuckles?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure.”

“You want me to do the face first or straight to the hand?”

“I think the hand is bleeding more.”

“Okay.” She unties the flannel from around her waist and puts it on his lap, making him smile.

“I’m not sure my jeans are more worth protecting than your shirt.”

“They’re nice jeans,” she says, absent. “Jesus, Bellamy.”

“That bad?”

Her fingers trace over the jagged cuts. “You really got him in the teeth.”

“He was harassing a couple of high-school kids,” he says, gruff. “Just because they were away from the pack. He deserved to get his teeth knocked in.”

“I’m not going to argue with you. Just–sucks for your hand.”

“Worth it.”

She gets antiseptic out of her first-aid kit, starts to clean out the cuts. He winces, but doesn’t say anything. “Have you noticed how punching Nazis was completely socially acceptable right up until it started being something we thought we needed to do again?” she asks, to distract him. “They were the safest fictional targets in the world, and now that we have assholes in swastikas demonstrating in the street, suddenly everyone wants to remind us that violence isn’t the answer.”

“Depends on the question,” says Bellamy. “It’s not like I really wanted to spend 2017 worried about losing basic rights and fighting fascists, but here we are.”

“Here we are.”

He clears his throat, watching her work on his hand. “Have you had to do this a lot? Treat people?”

“It’s mostly giving them water and stuff. A lot of kids are really upset and want to do something, so they just come out here pissed and don’t bring supplies.”

His laugh is soft. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of that.”

“If I was as ripped as you, I’d be thinking more about punching people too. A good revolution uses everyone where they’re most effective. We have different skill sets.”

“Well, I appreciate yours right now. I would have just waited until the protest was over and probably gotten an infection.”

She makes a face. “Yeah, whenever you cut yourself on someone else’s body, you should clean it out right away. You don’t know where that guy’s been.”

“Thank goodness. I’ll be sure to bring my own antiseptic next time.”

Her first impulse is to suggest that they just come to the next one together, but it feels like a little much. They still aren’t really friends, just friendly acquaintances, bonding over some old-fashioned Nazi punching. She’d like to leverage the whole thing into seeing him more, but it feels a little–weird. This is more important than her romantic entanglements.

“If you’re planning to punch people you should be prepared, yeah.” She gets her gauze out and starts wrapping his fingers, which is bad only because she’s going to stop having an excuse to touch his hands soon. He has really nice hands. But they’re set now. “Okay,” she says. “You’re good.”

“Thanks. Are you going back out there? The protest isn’t over yet.”

“Yeah, definitely.”

“We should probably stick together,” he says. “In case anyone needs medical attention or an ass kicking.”

She bites her lip on her grin. “Yeah, that sounds right.”

It’s fairly uneventful after that, which Clarke can’t really bring herself to mind. They yell a lot and cheer a lot and she identifies some kids who need to sit down and take a break, and Bellamy keeps them near the counter protestors in case anyone tries to start anything else, but the police are out now and no one really wants to get arrested unless it’s absolutely necessary.

“At least you got to punch one Nazi,” she tells him as the crowd starts to disperse, and he smiles.

“Nightmares come true.”

“That’s the 2017 mood, yeah.”

“Where are you heading?”

“Home.”

“I was hoping for a couple more details. On the train?”

“Yeah.”

“Me too.”

As they walk to the station, they establish they live in the same neighborhood, which isn’t really a surprise, given that’s where the gym is, but she wasn’t sure. She doesn’t live that close to work; he might not have either.

They’re two stops away when Bellamy says, “So, uh, I feel like I owe you.”

“For what?”

He holds up his bandaged hand. “Medical attention.”

“I don’t mind. I finally got to put my first-aid skills to the test.”

His mouth twists in a smile. “I can’t tell if you’re shooting me down preemptively or not.”

“Shooting you down?”

“I’m trying to leverage protests and Nazi fighting into a dinner date. If that’s something you’d be interested in.”

“Oh, wow. Yeah I didn’t get that. You should keep going, I wasn’t trying to shoot you down. Just be nice.”

He laughs. “Awesome. Do you want to get dinner with me?”

“That would be great, yeah.”

*

The next protest that rolls around, they go together, with a backpack full of supplies, and Clarke’s the one to punch someone this time.

“Good energy,” Bellamy says, cleaning out her cut. “Not great technique. You’re lucky you didn’t break your thumb. Did no one ever teach you how to throw a punch?”

“I thought it was one of those things you learned by doing.”

He snorts. “Yeah, no. There’s definitely a right way to punch someone. We can work on it.”

“Yeah?”

“If the current administration is going to keep on making us fight Nazis, we might as well be good at it, right?”

She has to smile. “That’s the goal, yeah. You’re not great at the medical side either.”

“So we should probably stick together. We make a pretty good team.”

She leans in for a quick kiss. “Yeah. That’s what I was thinking.”