#forgot i could be perceived tbh

[dokries]

AAA thank you so much!! yeah i know what i'm doing hehe :>

rockstar bf!joshua

pairing: hong jisoo (joshua) x gender neutral reader

genre: fluff, rockstar!joshua x non celebrity!reader, established relationship au

word count: 490

warnings: kisses, mentions of a dinner in passing, joshua is down bad

author note: this was requested by my dear amelia <3 i hope this is good 😭 to be honest i don’t really know if this still counts as rockstar!shua but…here you go! lots of love :D

masterlist

★ first of all: “are you guys ready to rock with us? because we’re ready to rock with you.” you can’t think rockstar joshua without that, let’s be real.

★ he dedicates songs to you whenever he can because you’re his muse and inspiration—the other guys would be sick of it if they weren’t the same way with their own partners.

★ of course, he has electric guitar solos in the band’s songs and is down so bad, he names his guitar after you so you’re always with him on stage in some way.

★ speaking of “being on stage” with him, he always has something you’ve gifted, whether it be a ring or a guitar pick, and kisses it with a wink in your direction before he performs—he says he does it to draw on your energy so he can do his very best.

★ if your relationship is private, he’s good at keeping it that way but even then, he makes sure he walks to your side of the stage as much as he can.

★ if you’re public, he’ll always blow kisses if he sees you, and all the fans around you swoon even if they know it’s directed to you (in fact, if you’re comfortable, many of them love to nudge you and wiggle their eyebrows as if you’re best friends)

★ even if you’re not loud at concerts, he’d always recognize your voice—and screams, since he’s heard enough of you squealing over his performances already.

★ loves to just fall down onto you after a post concert dinner with everyone, and only giggles when you groan because he knows you love him…even if you’re trapped under his limbs like every night.

★ whines “darling…” when you try to push him off, and suddenly you don’t have strength in your arms anymore and let him lay on you after he moves to kiss you on the cheek with a mischievous smile.

★ when he’s on tour, you join him when he’s in an area that you can go to! he doesn’t expect you to be there the whole time but you continue to make the effort to be in his hotel room (he always tells you where he is in a text message as soon as he arrives) when he comes back from rehearsals and the such.

★ when you can’t join him, he always tries to call you when possible, and leaves voice messages whining your name when you don’t pick up—you’re the only one he actually checks his messages for, and he loves to use that as leverage when teasing you.

★ “i can’t believe you didn’t pick up my call five minutes ago! you’re the only one i check my notifications for too…”

★ asks you how well he did out of ten after a performance if you were there and gives you as many kisses as your rating (you always say ten because it’s true…and maybe you want more kisses but who can blame you?)

[urauntiefaye]

well now that youve mentioned &team and hogwarts...can we please have more headcanons about them in hogwarts 😽

Gryffindor!K Head Cannons 🧙🏻‍♂️

WC: 868 

TW: Smut is implied at the end, dabbles a lot in self worth, not really triggering in my opinion but if I forgot anything let me know!

A/N: I honestly feel bad because this is a lot longer than Nicholas’s, honestly some might be longer than others, that doesn’t mean I love any of them less it’s just some I have more thoughts with and more words coming out tbh. Also I'm answering Ks under this request, I will be working and posting the others separately as well! Also this is just my opinion on what houses I think each member would be, please don't attack me if you think otherwise, but I am always open for conversations about it if you think otherwise!

Gryffindor!K includes~

Has a brown Owl as his pet companion 

His happiest memory is when he went on a father and son trip, where he grew the closest with his father. 

His patronus is an Abraxan Winged Horse: Means Dominant, Powerful, Strong Leader

The Boggart in Professor Lupin's class turns into him but it’s him failing or losing. 

The Head Boy of Gryffindor

One of the most valuable quidditch player being the seeker with how fast he was

Throws some of the most wildest parties 

Is friends literally everybody

Is considered to be the IT boy not only in his grade but in the entirety of Hogwarts

Is always hard on himself, Has to be the top of the top. Comes across as having a huge ego, but in reality he’s actually sensitive and insecure. Always worried if he’s going to fail. 

Concerned with how others view him, if he’s not thought of to be this amazing strong person it’ll put him in a spiral 

That’s why he was so confused when he met the girl who could care less about how others perceive her. 

How she’s always just running around, being her too authentic self, wearing whatever she pleases. Even adding weird and cute accessories to her uniform. 

She says whatever is on her mind, never holding back. Always asking himself how the fuck does she do it. Amazed by how free she looks. 

Wanting to befriend said girl, but gets stuck in his head, wondering if she’ll even want to be friends with someone like him. 

But gets paired with her in deviations class to read each other's tarots. 

When reading the cards Kei struggles, as deviations are not his strong suit, but the way she reads his without any issues when Professor Trelawney called upon her to read his outloud. Feeling content with his reading as she said he was a strong, reliable person, and that he has good fortune in the future. 

But gets caught off guard when she approaches him after class, just to tell him that he needs to be less hard on himself. And once he accepts himself as he is and stops caring about others is when he’ll be able to soar high. 

He stands there stunned, watching her leave as if what she said didn’t just have a huge impact on him. 

Finds himself trying to talk to her more and more but failing

Gets the courage to pull her away to somewhere where it’s only him and her after he won the Quidditch match against Slytherin. Just to ask her what she meant by her words that day. 

Gets surprised when she says his cards showed that he was stuck, that he was trying too hard to keep up with others' expectations for him. And that they showed that if he continued worrying about them then he’ll continue feeling the way he was and he would never achieve true happiness. But if he breaks through it, and focuses on what he wants for himself he would have a happier outcome.

Forms a strong friendship with her after that night, always going to her when things got rough, and for advice. Finding comfort in her especially with the fact that she didn’t care about all the things the others did. That she was happy with any achievement he made, mostly with the ones he was looking forward to the most. 

Who also has a major panic attack when his team loses because of him, falling into a spiral of questioning his self worth. But found peace when she held him, and showed him that he was still lovable even when he failed. And that losing wasn’t going to damage his shine, that instead it proved him to be human.

Finds himself falling for her, and needing her in his life as she shined light on his darkest thoughts. 

Who now wants to impress her more than anything, who wants to make only her proud of him. 

But finds himself also growing jealous when she encourages and shows interest in others. Especially when she boosts up others and shows pride in others. 

Making him question if she even means what she says to him since she says it to everyone. But won’t ever say it as he deems it as him being toxic for only wanting her attention on him. 

But shows through his actions, always having to one up the other person she just praised. And always has to show off hoping her attention will switch back to him. 

Gets angry when it doesn’t and starts a fight because of it, but feels bad when he sees how exhausted she is. 

Comes to the realization that even though she is always encouraging others and praising them, no one has ever taken time to do the same for her. 

Who appears at her dorm eyes red and cheeks stained from the tears, and pulls her into a tight hug. Apologizing for everything and admitting he was just jealous. 

Who eventually confesses to her that he only wants her, and pushes her back into her dorm to show how much he really does love her and how much she truly means to him. 

[inevitably-johnlocked]

(I sent a similar ask a while ago but it seems you didn't get it sorry if it's twice) Hey so I only recently found your account and first of all, discovering asexuality from watching Sherlock is the funniest identity finding story I've ever heard (I read it on one of your posts), second of all, I love how structured your blog is (you've written SO much and it's surprisingly structured) ANYWAY that was a long introduction, my actual question is: Do you know why season 4 turned out the way it did?

luminescentlama asked: So I found your blog and I have a couple of things to note 1. Your profile picture is so gay (queer) /pos 2. Finding out about your own asexuality through analyzing Sherlock is the funniest realization story I have ever heard 3. I read your one post on why the show isn't queerbating and I feel better now so thank u :)

====

Hey Lovely!

Sorry, I've been sick and feeling a bit overwhelmed with literally everything, so I apologize for not replying right away; I often put off some asks so I have at least one new piece of content daily! I found your other ask and did miss it, so I do apologize!!

In response to your comments:

The larger version of my icon without the flags is here. The flag version was just for Pride month and I forgot to change to my Christmas icon this year, but I just left it because I like the pride version better.

RE: my sexuality, I am assuming you mean that with kindness (it CAN be perceived as not-nice teasing on initial read). Assuming it was one of these posts that you're referencing, and it's completely true. In the early days of the fandom, one of the little running jokes was that this show helped so many people realize that they were queer, LOL. For me, seeing a lot of myself in Sherlock, I imprinted on him and for some reason it jumpstarted my journey of self-discovery in my mid-thirties.

Thank you very much for the kind words on my blog. I work meticulously to keep it tidy and I LITERALLY have filed every single post for at least the past 5 years, so it makes it easier to find posts and reference back to them. I also have a meticulous tagging system (most of the time) that probably only makes sense to me, hahah. I love when you guys notice those kind of things, and I'm glad that my posts please you.

As for S4, no. We've got some tinhat theories, but these days I'm a bit more cynical about the tinhat theories and look more to Occam's razor theories: I just feel like Mofftiss "got bored" with the series, were mad people figured out their planned endgame (you know, like a good show / series ENCOURAGES in their fanbase), took their ball and went home and now just keep teasing to keep Sherlock the Brand profitable; ANOTHER theory is that around TAB, there was a shakeup at the BBC of the higher ups; Another was actor interference; and another was copy right issues at the time with the remaining stories. Who knows anymore, tbh.

Which then segues into your queerbaiting comment, I feel without a resolution in S5, then it is. But again, could be just me goalpost-shifting. But I do have a LOT of thoughts on S4 post-series, which are still entertaining reads and can be binged here on my Post S4 Meta Masterpost (August 2018). I have more recent posts as well, but will need more specific questions to direct you to them, LOL.

Anyway, again, sorry for the delay in a reply, but I hope that this response was worth the wait, and that you continue to enjoy your time here *HUGS*

[liaisun]

uhm... you're writing something from riko's pov? would you perchance like to share more details? it's okay if you don't, just curious.

hello anon!! i forgot i enabled anon asks again but i will keep it on so people arent scared away from asking abt these things LOL. i would absolutely love to share the details :3c

the fic is 2nd person pov, flashes of riko’s life through the years and the way he perceives the world, the development/degeneration of riko and kevin's relationship, riko becoming who he is, and his descent into madness

it all began with my most trusted confidant sending a msg abt “all the ways riko could have been different and all the ways his pathways were cut”, riko being ONLY 19 like he wasn’t even 20 when he died… augh what the hell . so i immediately started thinking abt riko’s thoughts and state of mind at the time of his death

do we think he didn’t see his kingdom crumbling? that he was holding on the tightest to the only thing he had, until it destroyed him? icarus to the sun? AHGH. and yet riko is such a clear case of a made monster.

riko’s convictions are fragile. that's why he constantly needs external validation of his superiority over others by exercising control over them; moriyama family status being the excuse provided to him, and it's what he clings onto when he sees behavior that doesn't fit into his worldview (like when he is with kevin and sees kayleigh/a loving parent.) you're a moriyama, you're different, you're not lonely, you aren't affected by things like that because you're better.

tbh i think riko doesn’t even conceptualize himself as a person. he’s a vessel for success, he calls himself king (a title rather than a name), he’s defined by the number on his face and is part of a set with kevin (his relationship w kevin is whole other can of worms lmfao). riko is simultaneously above everyone else and yet worth nothing, because he will never have the thing he truly wants— his father’s regard, a place in the main line

many of tetsuji's statments are translated as riko's own thoughts and he repeats them as children do. his behavior becomes more controlling but it isn't maliciously intentioned; riko genuinely believes he is protecting kevin by doing this, because he knows how the nest works and kevin doesn't yet. it's heartbreaking!!! it's also at this unstable time when kevin is taken in by tetsuji where you can see the dynamic between riko and kev take root and become twisted.

also, riko's thoughts on family and brotherhood are so contradictory— he sososo severely values the idea of a brother. yet he's seen how tetsuji's been treated by kengo as well, understands that brotherhood is conditional. so it's this thing to want and to fear, which leads to how kevin is simultaneously idolized and adored, while being objectified and diminished at the same time. kevin is his brother, but only when it's convenient. over time, it's less and less of kevin as a separate person, and more of seeing kevin as an extension of riko.

this became a meta LOL but that's what happens when u write a character study i suppose! most of the fic is written i just need to clean it up, hoping to post by the end of the year :-)

[mamadarama]

Omg previous ask back here I am so glad to hear your thoughts and your perspective was really nice!! :D

I do understand that it's meant to be frustrating as part of his character I just didn't know if it was lazy writing or character loyalty HELP cuz I can't tell sometimes

I do also wish his development turns positive because out of everyone in the cast I'd argue he deserves a bad ending the LEAST. Compared to what others have done, Madara is kinda,, tame. Not at all I mean if you compare vigilante justice and resorting to violence to protect your loved ones compared to say,,, martyring 5 students to the point of severe mental damage and indirectly causing mass suicide in your school, Madara's sins (at least, his known ones) are a drop in the bucket even if we estimate indirect casualties.

He's a guy that does bad and damages himself but never once did I at least perceive his actions to be malicious. If anything, I liked him for the fact that he does what he does to be better for others, and that singular thing will always resonate in my heart. I'd pull my hair out and bash my head against the wall if I had to summarize his character because he just ISN'T SIMPLE. I once tried to explain his lore to my sister and I ended up sending her a voice mail that was EIGHT MINUTES LONG and I talk fast.

Ahem anyways yes I do hope they don't bash his character story like whatever the fuck they did with other characters (coughs) (looks at the horror that is matrix) (coughs)

Also I forgot to sign off cuz I was in the middle of my shift but that was me ( @umiedibles ) wow madayumenon talking about Madara fork in the kitchen anyways have a good one I love your whiteboard posts :33 virtual milk and cookie for you 🥛🍪

tbh writing that made me realize id be disappointed if he ends up with anything more than a bittersweet resolution . a true positive everything turns out alright ending wouldnt be as impactful or very "madara". to me at least. after everything hes gone through the best way for his story to end imo would be to have him try and pull off a massive cataclysmic self destructive stunt, have his friends save him from himself (ideally kanata), and after its all over and his armor has been smashed to dust , finally learn to accept that things will never be the same again and thats okay. he still hates himself, he never reconciles with his family , but he stops actively trying to alienate people and starts exercising benefit of the doubt when it comes to other peoples opinions of him ("i dont know what you see in me but thank you regardless" instead of his current "liking me is a mistake on your part and im sorry for you") and that is the biggest piece of character development he could possibly have: accepting life as it is, no matter how unfair it happens to be

as for power scaling the sins of characters..... its unfair to say any of them are worse than any other. ive talked about this before but eichi, although bitter, was well intentioned. it tears him up inside to this day even. tsumugi was naïve. keito got lost in his own fantasies after obtaining a position of power. madara was provoked . and no one in the war got out unscathed. the only real dickbags in enstars are gatekeeper godfather priest etc

also matrix wasnt that bad . rinne is just rinne.

[lightyakami]

re: Watari being L’s sugar daddy

A) I’m fascinated and need to know everything about your thoughts on this.

B) It would make his relationship with Light all the more high stakes since it might be idk a path to liberation of a kind.

ghgfjgnjlfgh truly i forgot that i'd posted about this while so so sleep-deprived and without context. this is the fic i was referencing.

my feelings on this are essentially that sugaring is a really respectable but also vulnerable job, in some ways more so than other forms of sex work despite often being perceived as safer. i think a lot of people (understandably) see watari as something of a parental figure to L but i think it's also possible to read watari as more of a client of L's who expects and is willingly given certain things in return. L is in charge of the relationship but Watari is the one who provides the resources. there's a contract here that is known but unspoken. the distribution of power is complicated because L is providing the service but he is financially dependent on watari. truly sugaring has nothing to do with their canon relationship but i think you can get a similar effect in an au this way.

in this au at least L is really happy with his job. (he also normally does FS but sugars for watari specifically for various reasons.) i'm kind of cautious of the trope of liberating people in the specific context of sex work BUT in a more broad sense i'm really obsessed with the idea of of light being a force that frees L from what is in many ways a very constrained and claustrophobic life; my feeling is this is something which could and absolutely should be explored more re: canon compliant/divergent fic tbh.

[kirkwallguy]

you probably talked about it somewhere, but also 22 and 24 🙏

22 - how does hawke feel about the anders-justice situation?

his feelings change as time goes on tbh. at first he definitely sees justice as something malevolent that he needs to save anders from and thinks anders is probably lying about how willingly they joined. he's pretty willing to blame justice for a lot of anders' Symptoms as well and has this really idealised vision of him separating from justice one day and leaving all mental illness behind. pretty much the only way he gets through act three is by telling himself the way anders is acting (suicidal) is all justice's fault.

buut when they're on the run and kirkwall isn't pressing down on them so much, he starts to actually come to understand anders/justice a lot better and appreciate that when he's talking to one of them he's talking to both of them. i don't think he ever fully understands tbh, which is a little sad, but he ends up pretty fond of what he perceives justice to be in the end

24 - is bartrand dead or alive, does varric keep the lyrium idol?

he is SO dead. i forgot you could even let him live actually. marcus immediately confiscates the idol, he doesn't trust varric at all and has a complex about being sooo good at resisting temptation so he thinks he's the only one that could be responsible around a cursed object lol

[justajsworkshop]

ok, so this is the second time this has happened to me, and i just wanna catalogue here a bit. long ass self analysis i’m sharing in case anyone sees themselves in this, too.

so, i’ve had a list of desires that you could label as “big” to the limited self; i.e., the limited self perceives a greater separation between me and these desires. and i really decided to get locked in on them the past couple of days to kick myself out of the state of waiting.

sometimes, i can just get so lazy and apathetic about my desires. i think it’s a protective mechanism to stay disconnected from how unfulfilled i feel. so, i keep telling myself “oh, it’s fine. it’s coming together.” when the deeper truth is that i’m keeping myself separate from my desire (by perceiving it that way) because i’m afraid to surrender myself to it. i’m afraid to let myself have it.

now, when i decided to get focused on this, i wrote out a list of these desires on my phone. i wrote them in affirmation form too, so i could easily read the list to myself. i said the first rule was that i already have all these things, which is true. intellectually, i know that. but it’s like i have these in a shed out back, and instead of just walking over to grab it all, i keep saying “oh, it’s coming. it’s gonna be fine. i have it now.” but im not reeeeeally letting myself have it.

like, bruh, just get your shit, y’know? my desires are waiting on ME.

k, so, i thought i’d try out a variety of approaches to see what was up. some stuff i’m able to passively affirm, and it’s reflected back real fast. other times, i just wish for something, and within a day or so, a solution is there. i firstly tried to be more diligent about my thoughts and “mental diet” even tho i hate the term. i tried saturating too, and while i do enjoy it, doing that for extended amounts of time kinda got tiring, but i also found being conscious of my thoughts when not saturating to be even more tiring.

yall, i’m lazy as shit, ok. i really am about finding the easiest way to go about things.

so, I thought to myself about the time i manifested roger’s vet bill to be a specific amount. someone was checking out as i was in the waiting room, and when the receptionist said their total, i said to myself quite decisively, “that’s how much it’s going to be for me.”

fast-forward to me getting the estimate from the vet in the office, and they told me something about three times that amount, and i almost fainted. i actually forgot i had even made that decision, tbh. i was just there, trying to come to grips with how i was gonna pay that much. after staring at that list for way too long, i finally told the vet’s assistant that i was between jobs, and that’s why it was hard for me to decide what to say yes to and what to pass on. he leaned in, was super sweet, and said, “these are the only ones you need. don’t tell them i said anything.”

my total came out to $7 under my desired amount.

this also happened that one time i manifested my friend paying for my transportation downtown and everything else. i visualized her saying it was all on her, and she had me covered. and when it came time for me to order a car, i basically gave up on the manifestation. then, through a conversation i had with her, she ended up following through with my desired outcome to the letter.

notice how both times, i wasn’t policing my thoughts or state or even feeling toward the outcome. it happened on its own even when i “contracted the new story.” this is because the linear mind ain’t got nothing on the power of god.

what i’ve learned from this is that a single decision is really all i need. it makes me think of the woman with the blood issue for twelve years who touched jesus’ robe (prayer tassels in the chosen) and was instantly healed. i only need to touch the awareness of my desire, and it’s mine, and i am instantly in the reality/script where that will come to pass. the rest happens for me no matter what my linear self does, thinks, or feels about the experience.

so, what i’ve been doing these past two days is convening with myself as my god self in what the bible might refer to as “the secret place.” im just imagining my desired outcome, but there’s something that’s changed where, as i continue to affirm or visualize, i’m really letting myself experience it. because what i want is to experience a certain outcomes, so why not give myself the full experiencing of it to myself now? because i can literally have that experience at this very moment. reality is not the physical. i am reality. and the more awareness i invest in imagination, the easier it is to see that.

to be clear, i’m not imagining to get or to change or even to feel what it would be like. i am actively experiencing my desire right then and there. yesterday and today, i was so present with the experiencing of my desire, i was moved to tears—the guy who’s normally so apathetic and passive about these things i say are so important to me. then, all desiring within me ceased. i felt sated. calm. at peace. gratitude poured forth from me, but not because i was trying to make myself feel grateful or to emulate it. i was deeply grateful for the experience i just had: the fulfillment of my desire.

i have no interest in further saturating or anything else. i go on with my day. i don’t feel the need to wait for it to appear in the 3D anymore because i fully experienced it. and i’ve also noted what when i experience one desire, i feel wholly fulfilled as relates to all the others on my list as well.

yeah, im still going to affirm and be cognizant of my inner narrative, but also, i’m seeing how powerful it is to truly experience fulfillment now without creating this perception of separation between the 3D and 4D or whatever people say (personally, i deeply dislike these terms). because why would I separate these when i got my shit? i experienced it fully, and i am the awareness, not the body/mind, so why would i give myself something then be waiting on what’s already happened to me?

i’m gonna keep going with this practice/approach, and i’ll keep you all updated, but really, as i’ve always said, god heard you the first time. just tongue the fringe of fulfillment, fully experiencing it, and see what happens?

[anghraine]

stripedroseandsketchpads replied to this post:

1) I’m very sorry to hear about the fandom sexists (god are they everywhere—“nasty woman” much? They sound like Andrew Tate, jfc!)

Thanks! Certain parts of Austen fandom are fairly conservative and very gender-normative and that's definitely come up in response to that particular fic before. First Impressions was my most popular Austen fic on AO3 for years, but other parts of fandom struggled more with the idea of a f!Darcy who does pretty much everything that canon Darcy does being desirable to a man, or appealing to anyone at all.

(In fairness to them, some of those spaces ended up actually having conversations about why Catherine registered as colder and more unpleasant than Darcy even when doing exactly the same things, interrogating their own double standards, etc.)

This isn't the only reason to dislike the fic or Catherine, of course—I made my other post late last night when I was tired and forgot to clarify that! It's from 2010 and definitely has flaws. It's just that there was (and apparently still is) a very glaring divide between the responses from the more progressive and queerer side of fandom and the more conservative and heteronormative side, wrt Catherine in that fic specifically (even though it's a het fic!).

2) Your fic concepts are impeccable, I followed you for genderbend blogging and I really need to spend sone time trawling your AO3

Thanks! I have written a ton of fic over the years, so some are definitely weaker than others, but I have fun with them.

Also, my experience is that most people are very much not here for genderbending, so that's really nice to hear!

Also tbh as a lesbian often writing lesbians… “step on me” any time a woman is the tiniest bit not-nice or does anything perceived as “mannish” (including being the tiniest bit not-nice) doesn’t feel much better…

it feels like ppl think femdom is “taking the most toxic possible iteration of misogyny in D/s dynamics w a male dom & female sub (bc obv male dom/female sub can be perfectly fine!) and flipping it so the man is in the ‘girl role’ and the woman is in the ‘male role’” and. Heavy sigh. A lot of AO3 comments give off the vibes of “She’s totally a bitch but I can say that bc I like it and think it’s hot. Feminism!” RIP.

Hmm. It really depends on context for me. My experience with it has come pretty overwhelmingly from other queer people, primarily queer women—that may reflect my social circle!—and that feels very different to me than an environment overwhelmingly dominated by straight women being like "ew, a woman acting like Darcy is so awful."

Like, sometimes it does definitely give a "me finding anything between slight assertiveness and mass murder in a woman hot is totally praxis" vibe that's annoying. But annoying in a very different way!

I will also say, in fairness to the AO3 First Impressions commentariat, that they did not literally say "step on me, Catherine," lol. I was just quickly characterizing the sort of vibe there—it was more like "I'm gay for Catherine" "you managed a female Darcy without making it feel like she's being punished, awesome" "Miss Darcy is a gem" "one of my favorite versions of Darcy" "I have a crush on Miss Darcy" "fem!Darcy 4ever and ever amen" etc. So the contrast with the "I don't get what Henry sees in her???" "I guess he wants to be dominated because he's weak" "Darcy could never be a woman" etc is just very sharp.

[bufferingbabe]

This may be TMI but I went to a club social at uni today and realised that anyone sat behind me could see my thong bc I tend lean forward when I’m listening and I don’t usually have one on when outside but I just forgot.

So now, depending on the person, I will either be perceived as “cunty” (complimentary) or a “slut” (derogatory).

But as I type this I realise I’m fine with either tbh.

Let me be the Cunty Slut of the photography club, let them see me slay✨

[kafus]

if you’re still doing the DID ask game! 🌺 (describe one part of your inner world) and/or 🌍 (can you change your inner world and access it freely?)

one of my friends IRL has DID and she’s described her inner world to me some, it sounds super interesting! i don’t have DID but have a super vivid imagination/inner world type of thing going on, which i think for me is part of my being autistic, and i related a lot to your post about having a visualized self rather than perceiving “you” as your physical body, if that makes sense lol. (it was the one about the kaf music video where she’s walking through an empty city/port)

all this to say, thanks for sharing info about DID and talking about your experiences! ^^

oh my god i totally meant to answer this and forgot and only remembered just now. ironically my memory issues caused by DID made me forget a question about DID in my inbox

somewhat amusingly while my visualization of my internal world can be pretty vivid, despite being considered complex/polyfrag (i still don’t know what term i prefer for myself, i don’t talk about it often) most of my complexity is in my splitting patterns and “layering” of alters. but the actual LOCATIONS those layers are in? not super detailed or huge tbh. so i don’t have a ton to say here. BUT

our “fronting room” for lack of a better word, where alters are while fronting, is actually a bedroom, and like specifically a really over the top pink, princess-y looking bedroom that 8 year old girls could only dream of. i honestly have no idea why it is that way, none of us have ever been particularly feminine in that way even as children, it just has been for as long as its been here and now i’m so used to it i kinda don’t care to attempt to manually change it. it has a massive comfy bed with numerous pillows and a canopy, literally what more could i want as someone who is fronting a lot of the time dbjdjdkd

we are capable of changing our innerworld within some limits? there will probably come a day where we have more control over different locations but i currently don’t have a ton. as for free access though, the fronting room is easily accessible to anyone, like while fronting i can tune my attention to the bedroom and interact with it at pretty much any time. but some parts i cannot access as host and some are fuzzy or i can only access at certain times

tldr it’s complicated lol

btw ur innerworld is totally valid, i think there’s a good chunk of DID experiences that are like, experiences non-DID folk can have but adjusted to the left yknow. if it helps you or is a natural part of ur brain then go for it

[giddlygoat]

tbh i did not know who cyrus borg is nor have i ever interacted with the ninjago fandom but i am obsessed about him. blorbo via osmosis.

anyways if you have any headcanons about him i would like to hear them :3c

cyrus borg my beloved blorbo babygirl <3

thank you for asking about this man. he is like a chew toy for my brain. hold onto your butt bc it’s 2 am as of writing this and that’s when all the big brained stuff happens 

in his mid/late thirties and slaying <3 he started his tech business at about 17 and now he’s got a crazy monopoly on like half the city but it’s okay bc he’s a kind philanthropist and actually treats his employees like human beings so no one cares that he’s effectively one of the most powerful men in the city lmao 

i see cyrus as autistic and adhd tbh. the way he gets so hyper focused on his work that he literally does not perceive anything else around him is a bit too relatable, and he strikes me as a very brilliant man who simply does not retain information unimportant to his interests. he could tell you the precise components of the most advanced computers and explain their relationships with one another, but hell if he knows who the president is. you’re lucky if he even remembers what day it is. this man constantly uses reminders and alarms for sure. 

he’s on the aroace spectrum i think. i’m not exactly sure how but he just gives me those vibes. 

also transmasc swag tbh?? i think i’ve seen that hc around and it goes hard 

hear me out. cyrus listens to rap. this is based on absolutely nothing at all i just know it with my very being. he likes stuff with fast, predictable and heavy beats. would totally blast shit like masquerade by siouxxie sixxsta at full volume in his office. it helps him get in the zone. idk what to tell you man [<- 100% projection] 

cyrus is like. absolutely fascinated by zane. he admires dr julien’s work so much and wants to study zane under a microscope. as he gets to know zane better personally though, i think he would realize that he has been looking at things through the lense of an engineer for so long that he forgot zane was just like his human family. it’s not that he ever viewed zane as simply a machine, quite the opposite - he fully acknowledged that dr julien had created a full person, and an incredible one at that - but cyrus still has to remind himself that people don’t like being poked and prodded. [the moment he makes the mental connection between zane getting put on an examination table and himself getting operated on by the overlord against his will, he realizes the error in his line of thinking] 

oh yeah. the trauma! yeah cyrus might be just a little bit majorly fucked up over the overlord thing. the overlord did amputate his right arm after all, which leaves him with only one fully functioning limb. he still has nightmares about it. getting used to a prosthetic arm wouldn’t have been such a hurdle if the overlord had put any sort of thought or care into the operation, but it left him severely scarred up and just fucked in general. however! as the years pass he becomes pretty much fully accustomed to his situation and doesn’t let it inhibit his creative passions. 

also when zane died in s3 cyrus was super broken up about it and blamed himself for it in part. then, not days later his daughter disappeared for reasons he would not understand until like a year later, which totally messed him up. he inevitably threw himself into his work in an effort to not feel anything. he didn’t take very good care of himself during this time. when zane returned from chen’s island, he let pixal explain everything to cyrus, who was just glad they were alive, but the whole situation took a really long time to get over. 

when he’s hyper focused he forgets to eat/sleep etc and can run on fumes for hours before his body suddenly becomes a wet paper towel in a parking lot at 3 am and he has to konk out at his desk. thankfully he has people looking out for him, and he’s slowly getting better about it, but once he gets started sometimes the only way to stop is by brute force. 

i absolutely love @alanshee’s amazing cyrus headcanons, so you should totally go check out her takes. she has some really cool headcanons about his 16 robot children [in reference to a line where cyrus mentioned pixal was the 16th iteration, i believe] and they always make me smile so big. a lot of my headcanons are inspired by her stuff! 

[sorry for the late ass reply it’s been a crazy week and then i forgot rip but thank you sm for the ask!!!]

[terresdebrume]

🗑🛋🌃

[From this ask game]

So sorry for the delay friend, I saw this last night when it was way too late to get started on it, thought "Oh cool I'll answer this tomorrow morning before I really start working" and then promptly forgot about it until just now -_-

🗑How hard is it for you to delete writing that gets cut?

I think it depends on how much I'm cutting: big chunks are more frustrating than small sentences tbh, especially if I'm really happy with them.

That being said, usually I tend to add stuff from one draft to the next rather than take it out, so I don't cut that much out... although I guess, since I process my early drafts through complete rewrites, you could say it all gets cut and that makes it easier, too xD

ETA: Also I do keep all my drafts archived so that helps too x)

🛋Where do you write?

Normally on my couch, occasionally in bed or on the floor, leaning on my elbows, but nowadays for postural reasons I try to privilege sitting at a desk. (I say, typing on my couch.)

Also in the past couple of years, most of my writing has been done in hotel rooms, when I have more time and energy to devote to it, because working 40 hours a week is a trap and saps your energy for other stuff x)

🌃What time do you go to bed?

These days around seven or eight PM, because the AC is in my bedroom and at at wonderful 39°c of perceived temperature at 10pm, Iwant the AC as soon as possible. Otherwise, my target is always to be asleep at 10:30pm so I can be properly rested, but unfortunately I miss it more often than not x)

[littledinosaurarms]

this started as a comment but the autism won

(I have come to realize that I'm going to be a nerd with Opinions about Media for the rest of my life and I have to stop hiding who I am. If that makes me cringe, so be it.)

Hot take: Betty Grof is the actual villain in Adventure Time

Yall just gonna let FaC tell you Simon was a selfish jerk and what happened to Betty was his fault like Betty isn't totally yandere for their entire relationship.

Betty invites herself on a trip with Simon, Betty decides not to go to Australia because she finds out Simon likes her even though he didn't ask her to do that, Betty ignores Simon saying losing her was devastating to him and jumps through the portal to try to skip over whatever boring part of Simon's life he was talking about, Betty makes Simon be crazy again, refuses even talking to the Ice King until she has exhausted all other options (including giving him brain damage and stealing his beloved little guy), gives up trying to talk to him after like ten minutes, and then tries to kill him, then almost ends reality itself over him = Simon being selfish?

Why *would* Simon get on the bus with her? He doesn't have a ticket for Australia! He just wanted to tell her how he felt before she left!

Simon uses a poor choice of words when he says "I forgive you for leaving me" but he's not the best with people and he was clearly just trying to make sure she felt no guilt about his terrible fate or imminent death. And then she interrupts him in order to literally abandon his past self in his hour of fucking need so that she can skip the unpleasantness, without knowing what it was or how long it lasted. She put herself in Ooo. Then she insists he become the Ice King again so she can save him, but doesn't stay with the Ice King or even talk to him. She leaves him rather than work on the problem with him by her side. She is never apologetic for this utter rejection of the Ice King at any point. She is willing to kidnap Gunter just for a chance to give Ice King brain damage and see if that brings Simon back. She is willing to use IK as a spell battery (which is where he must get the idea to use Choose Goose- I felt like that was both out of left field and out of character tbh) to go back in time and prevent him putting on the crown.

No matter what the Ice King, who is a version of Simon, asks of her she refuses. She does not want to know his friends, she doesn't even know Marceline's name at any point iirc. We don't know if she ever sat down and listened to an explanation of what has happened, but I am guessing not or she would know that the Mushroom War would have killed them both if he hadn't put the crown on, not to mention left Marceline alone to either die or be corrupted by the vampires.

As another fan pointed out, she could have shared the crown with him, shared the burden with him, but she didn't want to do the hard work of loving him as he was. She wanted him to be exactly how she had originally perceived him to be. She was willing to risk the lives of everything in existence to force the mental illness out of him rather than help him deal with it in a healthy way.

Yeah, she sacrificed everything for him, entirely by choice! Simon never asked her to do any of it. In fact, both he and the Ice King asked her specifically not to do what she was doing multiple times.

Simon managed to take care of a scared little girl during a nuclear zombie apocalypse while going slowly insane, summoned her deadbeat demon dad in an effort to try to keep her safe when he couldn't anymore, and was basically guilty only of the crime of wanting a little closure.

Hell, even the Ice King was better at caring about people. He was willing to walk through lava for his Goontz. His admiration for Finn and Jake led to him becoming a better person over time, once they accepted him, and he never forgot about Marceline even if he didn't remember how they became friends.

Maybe I take it personally as someone with a mental disability (autism) but I think the way Betty treated the Ice King, and Simon, was disgusting. Simon was a good person. He had a few character flaws, like everyone else in the universe, but fundamentally he just wanted to help people and to share his life with someone special. Hell, the Ice King's ability to treat Gunter better than Evergreen treated the original Gunter is what finally broke the curse of the crown. Did yall miss that part too? They're different versions of the same dude.

I cannot believe how dirty FaC did him in the ending. Totally uncalled for. Literally no one asked for that.

I'm with the people who wanted Simon and Ice King to interact, to have Marceline play a bigger role in the story both because she is literally Simon's best friend and because she's fucking awesome, and oh yeah- to not be condescendingly spoon-fed the conclusions that the showrunner wanted people to draw only to then totally contradict them two minutes later because he couldn't keep a coherent narrative running if his life depended on it. Man did us all dirty with that half-assed ending to a convoluted story.

Betty had to become Golb to clean up the mess she herself had made, and it seemed like she understood and accepted that. That act was her redemption. Why take that away just to shit on the character who arguably suffered more than just about anyone else in the narrative? Simon had magic alzheimers for a thousand fucking years and this asshole is saying he deserved it. I can't even.

And another thing:

If their genders were reversed, do you think people would still defend Betty so much? I highly doubt it, and I find that messed up. Women can be the toxic side of a relationship. Men can be victims. It's almost 2024 we're still not able to see a failed hetero relationship as anything but the guy's fault? Come on.

[skrs-cats]

yea!! not to spoil too much but it focuses on her grieving and finding friendship in dove who shes only just really met as it takes place after tigerhearts se and fills the gap before tbc begins, its sweet sometimes the novellas really hit sometimes they dont i have a friend who skips them completely and i dont get it they add so much NIGHTSTAR MY BELOVED </3 i first read about him in yellowfangs se and thought damn i wish i could read more about him and then his manga came out and i was so happy lol, hoping we get cannon merch of him someday i love how hes written, gonna make a note to make fanart of him aha, unfortunate how he was treated but it feels like it shapes who he is i suppose ohh that makes so much more sense now i thought i was just loosing touch with the fandom and not being able to keep up with names, i was never rly good at it. 💀 i was talking about that with a friend recently too tpb used to repeat backstory about characters so much that it became frustrating but the newer books cut back on it and now when they introduce a character you have to really sit and remember it because they arent explaining it EVER again yaaa!!! u get it lol i started reading other YA series i never read as a kid and thought id reread wcs with a friend for the hell of it (and cause i had so many of the books i never got to) and it was great but as soon as i got to new stuff id never read before it kinda lost its charm and i took a break, sometimes you just arent feeling it, tho the longer you wait the more there is to read when you come back to it who knows maybe holly will be back from the dead again or we will get a jay, holly or lion se, were getting an ivy one after all and theres holly and jay content in the bonus scene for tbc 1

that sounds so sweet ToT SOMEDAY ILL FIND THE TIME TO READ AND REREAD THESE NOVELLAS ive forgotten most of them LMFAO. i think the ones i remember most are hollyleaf's, leafpool's, goosefeather's and dovewings which is.. wow. i def dont have a preference

and yes ur def right that the way nightstar was treated added to how he is generally perceived and his character, it kinda reminds me of mudclaw too! (whos manga i have also still Yet to read rip) i feel bad for them both but their unfortunate circumstances are what makes them such interesting characters T-T

i feel like we are old men yelling at the clouds but in a GOOD WAY HAHAHAHA im glad that despite it, we are talking about the series either way so i guess that means we still feel quite passionate about it, whether in positive or negative manner lmaooo

i think whats stopping me from continuing in reading the new books is that i want to reread it from the very start first, so i am very much stuck in my own way khkjahkljf tbh though whenever i see snippets of the new books in socials i actually find them very interesting! but i def also had moments where i just grew tired and felt like getting away from it all. i am praying so fucking hard for more og po3 content i miss them SO damn MUCH WAHHHHHH

speaking of the bonus scenes, a few weeks back i found out i completely forgot they happened! MORE SPECIFICALLY W HOLLYLEAF, WHAT. I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST W JAYFEATHER AND HIM GRIEVING FOR LEAFPOOL. YOURE TELLING ME THERE WAS HOLLY CONTENT TOO??? what the fuck is my brain doing forgetting this information what the hell im such a fake fan TTTTTTOTTTTT

[sanstropfremir]

did you finish the first two eps of peak time? what did u think abt the project group 24:00 idea? i think it's interesting but i'm worried that whatever praise or success they get will be blamed on favoritism 😖....

it was nice to get to watch a jtbc show with subs for once lol their shows are always so positive and encouraging ❤️ and it always seems like everyone has good attitudes and good sportsmanship bc they're all so passionate abt their craft <3 it makes it so enjoyable to watch instead of stressful

yes!!! i don't really....have many thoughts about 24's idea tbh. it's def the best way to encorporate all the soloists although honestly they could have just had jongup be group 24 by himself and it would have been fine lol. i'm also not really sure how they would get favouritism...? i don't really understand, like do you mean from the judges/show bc they put the group together? arguably some of the judges ALREADY showed favouritism towards at least one of the other groups unjustifiably so i don't really see how they could moreso with a group that has three dudes (i forgot who the other two are) who've been idols for 5+ years each and ARE talented. or do you mean that they'll be perceived as getting favouritism by viewers bc of how jongup was framed on the show? which i guess might come up, but he doesn't have the fanbase that the show made it seem like he does; if anything he should not need to be there at all but he's getting paid dust rn. i think i might be trying to apply too much logic here lol esp bc survival show fans are not a particularly logical sort.

but yes it is SO nice to finally be able to watch a jtbc show with subs and the way they structure their shows is so good bc it allows for evenhanded criticism. but my favourite part of jtbc shows is that you can tell they're made by people who have a deep love of the arts. superband is very much about loving music and just from the way the first episodes have gone i can see that peak time is likely to be the same. esp given how everyone reacted to vanner!!! most idol-based survival shows don't really allow or show the fact that a lot of idols do like to perform and make music and are generally supportive of each other, so it's really nice to see :))))))