#forgive me father for i am but simple trash

[dumbbitchenergy17]

Where the Wild Things Are - Chapter 7

Chapter Seven: Haunted Memories

Plot: Wild men or monstrous infected creatures, the world is wild and ravaged by Cordecyps but some are raised in it and flourish becoming a wild thing.

Word Count: 3.6K

Pairing: Joel Miller x Platonic!Teen!Reader, Ellie Williams x Platonic!Reader

Warnings: canon-typical fighting/violence, injuries, harsh language, tw: trauma from abusive mother, vomit, DESCRIPTION OF POSSIBLE SEXUAL ASSUALT

—————

I wish I didn't care. 'Cause I just can't compare and oh how the bitterness stings. What am I doing wrong? Do I just not belong? Oh, why can't I excel at something? Like you.

“What is wrong with you?”

Her voice roars through the small apartment rattling the walls. Your head instinctively ducks down at the sheer volume as salty tears already form in your eyes. You didn’t mean for it to happen it was an accident, you had a simple job go and get the food with the ration cards. Your tiny hands clutching the cards that determine whether you will eat or not as you race through the streets excitement across your face happy to provide help to your mother.

“How stupid are you?”

That insult was thrown at you so many times it slowly became fact. You were a stupid kid. A disgrace, brat, failure. Any comment under the sun could describe how stupid you were. The ration building was so close and the warm feeling ready to hear the praise come from your mother when you returned home.

“I should have made sure you were never born.”

Just feet away and your short legs tripped against some mere trash. You should have paid more attention, she says you’re always daydreaming your attention a thousand miles away. You hit the ground hard and fast, the scrape of concrete against your fragile skin as your grasp of the small paper cards gets picked up by the wind. You watch frozen on your stomach watching the ticket to a meal fly into the gutter disappearing from your view and in that moment you had been given a fate worse than death.

“Do you have any idea how hard it is living with such an ungrateful brat!” She was right you were one. You took her kindness for granted and this is how you repay her. Your hands clutch the end of her shirt tears welling up in your eyes as you begged for forgiveness.

“I’m sorry mama..please I’m sorry!” It hurt worse hitting the ground once more but this time at the hands of your mother. You hold your breath trying to keep in the tears but fail the second you smack against the tile of the kitchen. Fat tears roll down your face stinging the tiny cuts across your face from falling on the street as you cry before your mother. Her warnings to force you to stop go on deaf ears as you wail before her and beg for forgiveness. It was pathetic really. Big tears and snot pouring out of the child had only triggered the older woman more just the noise sent her into a rage.

“I told you…to stop fucking crying!” A harsh grip on your arm as you’re pulled to your feet stumbling to try to keep up. The door to the outside rips open as you’re tossed out your body colliding with the cold snow producing a sharp cry. Scrambling to your knees you look up at your mother disgust branded on her face as she stares at not a child anymore but a young woman.

“Starve for all I care. I don’t care about you…your bastard of a father never cared about you..the world doesn’t care about you.” Her words are like venom, as you bite your lip so hard blood pours from the self-afflicted wound. The door shakes on its old hinges as it slams shut. You race to the old wood your hands pounding on the door pleads falling from your lips,

“Mama…I’m sorry please let me in.” Your voice is hoarse and cracks with your words. The snow soaks into your thin clothes your body quickly numbs as you cry hoping she finds pity and brings you inside away from here where anyone could snatch you up and harm you.

 The cable wraps around your throat tightly dragging you away from your safety as your voice is choked by the wire. It digs deep into your skin scratching to pull it free as your precious air is drained from your lungs. The other raider stalks toward you in the snow as your legs kick out the storm rages on muffling your screams.

Cries for your mother to come to your aid.

Help me.

Save me. 

Love me.

Your prayers go unanswered as the cable gets taut, your lungs burning, screaming for air. The burly man towers over you pinning you the cold of the snow burning your skin as his hands move toward his belt ready to take what he wants.

This was what she warned you about. You’re a stupid girl who never listens to her.

“Mama please!” Your screams echo through the air as the man with no jaw reveals a rotten bloody grin as his hand grabs your pants.

Air rushes through your lungs as you shoot upwards the rapid ascent of bile as you fall from the bed pain pulsing in your shoulder. Your sore body stumbles to the bathroom barely reaching the toilet as you expel whatever little was in your stomach. Your eyes sting as you empty your stomach coughing at the acidic taste, feeling drained as you slump back against the wall. You wince at the inhale your hand raising to your throat sucking in a harsh breath feeling the bandaged skin but the light pressure just tracing it sends you recoiling.

Fuck that hurts.

Flushing the toilet while pulling yourself up with the help of the sink running the water to wash your hands and then cupping water in your palms to drink. Spitting out the water in the sink semi-cleaning your mouth from the bitter taste of bile you look up at the mirror. Why hadn’t you anticipated the attack? You should’ve known one was going to be coming from behind. Your brows draw together a deep frown across your face looking at yourself. Those dark circles, the weakness in your bones and muscles, you’re getting weaker.

Getting weaker makes you vulnerable.

Weak means you’ve become a liability.

Weak means you can’t protect yourself.

Weak. Weak. Weak.

The world wasn’t going to wait for you to heal. The world doesn’t care about you.

Your joints ache removing the bandages seeing the raw wound across your neck and the neat stitching along your shoulder. The water runs a murky red removing the dried blood and grime off your body wishing to stay under the hot water forever but you knew you would have to get out. You don’t think you’ll ever get used to running hot water.

You had to bite down on your lip to muffle the sounds of pain as you redressed your wounds and dressed in clothes. Your limbs ache and you already feel drained of energy but you need to persevere through. The house is silent looking out the windows it didn’t even look like the sun had risen yet. Your body begs you to return to bed and sleep but you ignore the rational side, when you lived in the cabin the few times you injured yourself you were right back at work. Surviving to get to where you are today didn’t allow you to rest, if that meant traveling with healing wounds or cold then it happened.

The walk to the stables could have been peaceful if it wasn’t for the slight pounding in your head that only grew worse when you made it to the building. You barely acknowledge the horses as they seem to sense your weakened state putting them in a concern mode. Red nudges her head against your hand when you pat the side of her face. A noise of worry for the young girl that took care of them all.

Joel was surprised to not be plagued with nightmares given the circumstances that occurred not even twenty-four hours ago. No dreams of failing those he cared about, watching the ones he loved taken from him so brutally leaving him just an empty shell. He was also surprised by the quietness of the home, no pounding of shoes rushing through the house or the banging of cabinets as Ellie went scavenging for a meal for the growing girl. Glancing at the functioning clock resting against the bedside table he saw how late he had slept in for. It was almost noon for christ sake he scolds himself. Pushing himself up and out of bed with a groan to get at the late start in the day. His joints ache and crack as he rises to his feet and the loud noise of someone bounding up the stairs makes him feel slightly alright knowing this was normal in this new life of his.

The pounding on the bedroom door was something he didn’t think was normal. A tired shuffle quickly turned into annoyance as he dressed himself as the door continued to be beaten by whoever was outside of it.

“I’m coming! You can stop your poundin’!” He shouts his voice hoarse from using it for the first time today. “Why the hell are yo-” He already had a feeling it was Ellie as he swung the door revealing the younger girl but what came out of her wasn’t what he expected.

“She’s gone!” The panic and fear in her voice and face seemed to completely wake the older man up.

“What?” Immediately alert as Ellie starts pulling him out of his room and dragging him to the stairs, “I woke up and thought to make you guys breakfast and when I went to go check out her she wasn’t there! Her shoes and coat were gone, and it looked like she hadn’t been there for hours. I wanted to go looking but I knew I should have woken you up.”

“Settle down kiddo, it’s alright. Get your shoes and coat we’ll go get Tommy.” And like he summoned his brother the front door swings open and in comes the younger Miller brother with surprisingly the person they were about to go after who looked on the verge of keeling over.

“What the hell! Where were you?!” Ellie starts spewing questions running up to her and grabbing her shoulders. The motion makes the older girl’s eyes widen and she pulls back right out the door barely making it to the porch railing before emptying her stomach right over into the snow below. Ellie and Joel jump back at the sudden action as Tommy who seems to have already dealt with this holds your hair back as you cough and spit out bile, the acidic taste bringing tears to your eyes.

“Holy fuck.” Ellie turns from the sight not able to handle someone being sick causing a turn in her stomach. Joel watches as Tommy gives some comforting words while you rest your head on the railing trying to catch your breath.

“Alright let’s get you inside,” Tommy says softly helping you back to your feet both men were surprised by the complacency given your rejection of their help last night. The younger Miller brother helps you sit on the couch pulling a blanket across your lap before joining his brother back by the front door.

“Where the hell did you find her?” Joel questions both men glancing over at you and the sickly expression and demeanour that surrounds you. “Stables was going to take her shift until someone could cover her. Found her barely able to stand looking like the wind could blow her away.” Looking back at you to find Ellie sitting beside you on the couch trying to offer you a glass of water and you accept with weak hands.

Your head was pounding with the weak sips of water added weight to your empty stomach creating more pain. Being in Jackson you’ve gotten too used to actual meals or decent food instead of picking scrapes or rationing food to last you when you were in the cabin. Even in Kansas, the limited ration cards were barely enough for a growing child your stomach used to times of going through the day with maybe only one meal or just a crumb of food in your body.

“Hey kid,” Tommy’s voice pulls you from your thoughts with a heavy head looking up at the older man squatted in front of you. “You just stay there with Ellie and keep drinking water. Gonna get you soup something light on your stomach alright?” You hum bringing your attention back to your drink and Tommy stands with a groan both he and Joel head elsewhere from your field of vision. You’re sure Joel said something to Ellie but your eyes drifted shut only to blink awake from a poke at your thigh and a whisper of your name.

“Thank fuck I thought you stopped breathing for a second,” Ellie sighs and you shift your position feeling a crick in your neck from how you rested it. Ellie sat on one end her legs crossed on the cushion while you were more splayed out on your end.

“Where’d they go?” You grumble rubbing your eyes and wincing from the soreness in your shoulder when moving it.

“Uh Tommy went to go get you some food from the mess hall and Joel went to get you painkillers for your shoulder and something for your fever,” Ellie explains fiddling with the comic in her hands. She felt a lot of pressure on her shoulders being responsible for someone much older than her. Joel basically telling to keep an eye on her and no matter the circumstances ‘Don’t Let Her Leave.’

You cough and a flare of dryness in your throat and you reach for the glass finishing the water lubricating your vocal cords, “I’m fine…” Your hands gripping the couch and trying to push yourself to stand.

“No no no. Joel said you have to stay here until they get back. You shouldn’t have been outside anyway with your injuries.” Ellie rises to her feet and grabs your arms pushing you back onto the couch a groan coming from you. “Sorry! But I can’t let you leave.”

“You’re an asshole.” You hiss your one moment of energy gone once return to the couch. “Whatever keeps you there, I’m gonna get you more water. Don’t move.” She says pointedly grabbing your empty glass she walks backward making sure you’re in her sites before bolting for the kitchen to get you more water. In the few seconds she’s gone you contemplate getting up and trying to leave but your body wins out on your mind shutting down in exhaustion.

“Alright, more water for you.” She holds it out and you accept it with a grunt, “You’re welcome.” Rolling her eyes she returns to her spot silence between the two of you before she speaks up.

“How did you get those burns on your arms.”

“No.” A tense air covers the living room and you can see Ellie fidgeting in the awkward tension and the coldness that came from you from just one word.

“I just thought…I don’t know if it’s good to talk about things. Joel says it isn’t healthy to keep things to yourself, though when I tell him shit he just scolds me and gets made like it wasn’t my fucking fault,” She kinda goes off track before refocusing, “I’m just saying maybe talking about it to someone who may get you. Instead of an adult that’s just gonna be annoying and berate you.”

“You’re like twelve though?” You say and she smacks your leg with her comic, “Fuck you I’m sixteen! You’re only two years older.” You smirk a light chuckle leaves you and Ellie has a look of shock.

“You just laughed? I’ve never heard you fucking laugh!” She gets all excited as you take of sip of your water, “And you’ll never hear it again.”

“Come on! You didn’t even crack a grin at my joke book and you know those were fucking funny.” She points her finger at you before leaning back against the arm of the couch. Your finger circles the rim of the glass your nails broken your skin littered with tiny cuts are fading scars.

“You can ask questions,” Ellie perks up, “But if I don’t want to answer you don’t push it. Got it.” It was a tiny step of her learning about you but she was taking it and running with it.

“Promise! Alright alright!” She fixes herself to be fully facing you an excited grin on your face.

“What’s your favorite color?”

Whatever time passed since Joel and Tommy left Ellie learned as much as she could from your favorite color even though you said you didn’t have one and she said everyone has one until you said orange like sunset orange, you were born in the summer though it took you a while to figure out when you were born, your favorite food being the chocolates Ellie gave you when you first met which lead her to run to the kitchen to grab them the two of you nibbling on them as you spoke, you told her you used to read when you were a kid taking as many books as you could in the QZ school library and during your travels to the cabin to keep you entertained the cabin having your ‘collection’ of books you found. It got to deeper questions that the light air took a different path.

“So how long were you in that cabin before Tommy and Jesse found you?” Ellie asks leaning her arms on her knees with interest.

“I found that place when I had just turned seventeen so it was still warm but it was going to start getting colder soon. I was with people for a bit before I left them. They found me and took me with them…they were Fireflies.” That piece of information has Ellie sitting up straight hearing the rebellion group she was closely connected to.

“You were a Firefly?” She asks and you shrug, “I didn’t believe and still don’t believe in that whole ‘Look for the Light’ bullshit. They didn’t kill me when I stumbled upon their base, they kept me alive and let me stay with them.” They could have killed you, you were just a kid with no benefits for them but they spared you. Kept you alive in this fucked up world.

“Why did you leave?” She asks. Had they come across people you knew when you were traveling? Ellie could tell Joel that you were a ‘Firefly’ maybe he’d met you before during their travels. Maybe Marlene knew of you or maybe Tommy might she was sure Joel mentioned Tommy being a Firefly once.

“Place got attacked. I’m not sure who it was but I didn’t have any ties to them. I wasn’t fighting in a dying rebellion so I left and found myself tired and bleeding at that cabin.” You say. You remember that quiet, the peace that was there in that building before you heard the pop of bullets, and suddenly people were yelling running towards the fight unaware it was coming straight towards them.

“You got hurt?” Ellie says concern in her voice. “Grabbed whatever I could and ran, whatever group or whoever was there got me. The bullet went right through my calf no matter how fast I ran. I couldn’t outrun them so I just lay there and hoped they thought I was dead.

The pain of the bullet ripping through flesh your body hitting the ground and you just reacted smearing the blood of the dead Firefly next to you and just laid there. You heard the footsteps drawing near until they stopped right before you and for a second you were actually fearful that you would die. You heard the clatter of the empty magazine land inches from your face before whoever was before you looted the Firefly’s weapon and continued on leaving you there. You weren’t sure how long you stayed there until you got up and limped your way out of that building.

“I fixed myself up then just walked until I stumbled up the cabin you know the rest.” You say and it’s quiet before you place the once again empty glass to the side looking at Ellie an unrecognizable look on her face. “You alright?” She quickly looks up the look disappears as well.

“Yeah..yeah I’m good.” She says with a nod and you return one as well, “It wasn’t an easy life but it was my life. I rather deal with the infected. They are predictable I know how they work. But people…the ones still living in this fucked up world. They are the reason I stayed in the cabin.”

It was an understandable reason, infected were easier to read and how to avoid them or to kill them. Humans had different ideas and ways of living, and that made them more dangerous. If it wasn’t for a fungus infecting a majority of them we all would have killed each sooner or later.

“All these years who taught you to survive…who looked after you in the QZ? Where were your parents during all of this.” The shock in your veins just from the mention of the two people who created you, mainly the one who was in your life.

“You think I’m going to look after an ungrateful fucking brat?!”

With the slam of that glass bottle, the chips and cracks form just waiting for the one moment when it explodes when slammed just hard enough.

The smell of the smoke would cloud the house, making your eyes water, and your lungs tight begging for fresh air.

Your skin burns as the stick is held against your skin. Screams and pleads blare in your head.

“This is all your fault!”

“Pass.”

Where the Wild Things Are Tags

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[thegreyunderstanding]

Praying Drunk

Our Father who art in heaven, I am drunk.

Again. Red wine. For which I offer thanks.

I ought to start with praise, but praise

comes hard to me. I stutter. Did I tell you

about the woman whom I taught, in bed,

this prayer? It starts with praise; the simple form

keeps things in order. I hear from her sometimes.

Do you? And after love, when I was hungry,

I said, Make me something to eat. She yelled,

Poof! You’re a casserole!—and laughed so hard

she fell out of the bed. Take care of her.

Next, confession—the dreary part. At night

deer drift from the dark woods and eat my garden.

They’re like enormous rats on stilts except,

of course, they’re beautiful. But why? What makes

them beautiful? I haven’t shot one yet.

I might. When I was twelve, I’d ride my bike

out to the dump and shoot the rats. It’s hard

to kill your rats, our Father. You have to use

a hollow point and hit them solidly.

A leg is not enough. The rat won’t pause.

Yeep! Yeep! it screams, and scrabbles, three-legged, back

into the trash, and I would feel a little bad

to kill something that wants to live

more savagely than I do, even if

it’s just a rat. My garden’s vanishing.

Perhaps I’ll merely plant more beans, though that

might mean more beautiful and hungry deer.

Who knows?

I’m sorry for the times I’ve driven

home past a black, enormous, twilight ridge.

Crested with mist, it looked like a giant wave

about to break and sweep across the valley,

and in my loneliness and fear I’ve thought,

O let it come and wash the whole world clean.

Forgive me. This is my favorite sin: despair—

whose love I celebrate with wine and prayer.

Our Father, thank you for all the birds and trees,

that nature stuff. I’m grateful for good health,

food, air, some laughs, and all the other things

I’m grateful that I’ve never had to do

without. I have confused myself. I’m glad

there’s not a rattrap large enough for deer.

While at the zoo last week, I sat and wept

when I saw one elephant insert his trunk

into another’s ass, pull out a lump,

and whip it back and forth impatiently

to free the goodies hidden in the lump.

I could have let it mean most anything,

but I was stunned again at just how little

we ask for in our lives. Don’t look! Don’t look!

Two young nuns tried to herd their giggling

schoolkids away. Line up, they called. Let’s go

and watch the monkeys in the monkey house.

I laughed, and got a dirty look. Dear Lord,

we lurch from metaphor to metaphor,

which is—let it be so—a form of praying.

I’m usually asleep by now—the time

for supplication. Requests. As if I’d stayed

up late and called the radio and asked

they play a sentimental song. Embarrassed.

I want a lot of money and a woman.

And, also, I want vanishing cream. You know—

a character like Popeye rubs it on

and disappears. Although you see right through him,

he’s there. He chuckles, stumbles into things,

and smoke that’s clearly visible escapes

from his invisible pipe. It makes me think,

sometimes, of you. What makes me think of me

is the poor jerk who wanders out on air

and then looks down. Below his feet, he sees

eternity, and suddenly his shoes

no longer work on nothingness, and down

he goes. As I fall past, remember me.

- Andrew Hudgins

[apoemaday]

Praying Drunk

by Andrew Hudgins

Our Father who art in heaven, I am drunk. Again. Red wine. For which I offer thanks. I ought to start with praise, but praise comes hard to me. I stutter. Did I tell you about the woman whom I taught, in bed, this prayer? It starts with praise; the simple form keeps things in order. I hear from her sometimes. Do you? And after love, when I was hungry, I said, Make me something to eat. She yelled, Poof! You’re a casserole!—and laughed so hard she fell out of the bed. Take care of her. Next, confession—the dreary part. At night deer drift from the dark woods and eat my garden. They’re like enormous rats on stilts except, of course, they’re beautiful. But why? What makes them beautiful? I haven’t shot one yet. I might. When I was twelve, I’d ride my bike out to the dump and shoot the rats. It’s hard to kill your rats, our Father. You have to use a hollow point and hit them solidly. A leg is not enough. The rat won’t pause. Yeep! Yeep! it screams, and scrabbles, three-legged, back into the trash, and I would feel a little bad to kill something that wants to live more savagely than I do, even if it’s just a rat. My garden’s vanishing. Perhaps I’ll merely plant more beans, though that might mean more beautiful and hungry deer. Who knows?                 I’m sorry for the times I’ve driven home past a black, enormous, twilight ridge. Crested with mist, it looked like a giant wave about to break and sweep across the valley, and in my loneliness and fear I’ve thought, O let it come and wash the whole world clean. Forgive me. This is my favorite sin: despair— whose love I celebrate with wine and prayer. Our Father, thank you for all the birds and trees, that nature stuff. I’m grateful for good health, food, air, some laughs, and all the other things I’m grateful that I’ve never had to do without. I have confused myself. I’m glad there’s not a rattrap large enough for deer. While at the zoo last week, I sat and wept when I saw one elephant insert his trunk into another’s ass, pull out a lump, and whip it back and forth impatiently to free the goodies hidden in the lump. I could have let it mean most anything, but I was stunned again at just how little we ask for in our lives. Don’t look! Don’t look! Two young nuns tried to herd their giggling schoolkids away. Line up, they called. Let’s go and watch the monkeys in the monkey house. I laughed, and got a dirty look. Dear Lord, we lurch from metaphor to metaphor, which is—let it be so—a form of praying. I’m usually asleep by now—the time for supplication. Requests. As if I’d stayed up late and called the radio and asked they play a sentimental song. Embarrassed. I want a lot of money and a woman. And, also, I want vanishing cream. You know— a character like Popeye rubs it on and disappears. Although you see right through him, he’s there. He chuckles, stumbles into things, and smoke that’s clearly visible escapes from his invisible pipe. It makes me think, sometimes, of you. What makes me think of me is the poor jerk who wanders out on air and then looks down. Below his feet, he sees eternity, and suddenly his shoes no longer work on nothingness, and down he goes. As I fall past, remember me.

[pheedraws]

I got tagged in this ultimate OTP meme a while ago and this has been sitting in my drafts since because I am, at my core, indecisive. It also means I can’t remember who tagged me so my apologies! I could not sleep at all last night so I finally finished it off ... voila 

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice?

They both try to keep things low-key, especially if others are within earshot, but they are also incredibly stubborn and won’t back down from an argument if they think they are right so things can often get loud.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?

Neither of them. They’ve both had enough people walk out on them in the past that they wouldn’t threaten the other with that in the heat of the moment, regardless of the argument.

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?

As above. At the very most, one of them will go somewhere to cool off for a few hours but that’s the extent of that.

Who trashes the house?

Neither of them. Billy has the shorter temper of the two but that’s not his style.

Do either of them get physical?

Never.

How often do they argue/disagree?

Hoo boy. After Billy breaks things off mere days before they lose Maria and the kids? Dee can’t stand to be in the same room as him without fighting. Billy plays along, after all he needed the dispute to seem real so Rawlins would drop Dee as a potential pawn to use against him (thus keeping her safe), but the part of him he buried deep down hates seeing her hurt and angry. Doesn’t stop him from landing a few cutting jabs every now and then, though…

Post-S1? Not a lot. It takes them a while to work through things after Rawlins’ death and Billy’s pardoning, eventually getting back to how things were in the ‘good old days’. All the previous grievances just seem petty in comparison and thus arguments are few and far between. When they do get back together? It’s all small domestic things, the most common argument being Billy trying to get Dee to just slow down and stop working herself to the bone.

Who is the first to apologise?

Usually Billy. (He is usually the one in the wrong, so…)

Sex:

Who is on top?

More often than not Billy, though he certainly has no qualms against sitting back and making Dee work for it from time to time.

Who is on the bottom?

Mostly Dee, with exceptions of course. (She can top Billy every so often, as a treat)

Who has the strangest desires?

I wouldn’t say either of them have particularly strange desires, but their sex life is never boring. Let’s leave it at that.

Any kinks?

Too damn many. Dee more so than Billy, which he fucking loves.

Who’s dominant in bed?

Almost always Billy. Even when Dee’s on top, he’s still the one in control.

Is head ever in the equation?

Absolutely.

If so, who is better at performing it?

Billy’s an incredibly confident and smug man, both in life and in the bedroom. Is it justified? Wholly.

Ever had sex in public?

…Yes.

They just had to break in the newly refurbished head office at Anvil, after all…

Who moans the most?

They both get pretty vocal in their own ways. For Billy, it’s a lot of guttural moans and ‘fuck’s. In Dee’s case? Well, Billy doesn’t rest until she’s screaming loud enough that all her neighbors know him by name…

Who leaves the most marks?

Billy. He’d never push Dee past her limits or seriously hurt her, but he does get a little... carried away in the moment.

Dee loves it though.

Who’s the more experienced of the two?

Again, Billy.

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

In the early days it was almost exclusively fucking. They had a friends-with-benefits situation going on that didn’t leave room for the feelings they both refused to acknowledge.

Post-S1, when everything is back on track and positive? It’s a healthy mix of the two.

Rough or soft?

Again, a healthy mix of the two.

How long do they usually last?

Billy has the stamina of a superhuman. Whether it’s fucking or making love, you can bet your ass he’s making it last until Dee is fully spent.

Is protection used?

Yes. They’re both too busy to consider the, ahem, alternative right now.

Does it ever get boring?

With Billy Russo? Never.

Where is the strangest place they’ve have sex?

An elevator.

Heathens.

Family:

Do they plan on having children/or have children?

That is… a complicated topic. After losing Lisa and Frank Jr., Dee was kind of put off the idea of starting a family with anyone. Billy has his own reservations about kids and parenthood too, given his own history. Plus post-S1, with both of them working hard towards getting Anvil re-established? There isn’t time for that.

Neither of them completely rule out future possibilities, though.

If so, how many children do they want/have?

Neither have given it much thought, in all honesty.

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle?

They are both partial to a good cuddle on the sofa or in bed, particularly after a long day.

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

B I L L Y. That man’s randiness is second to none.

Who struggles to keep their hands to themselves?

As above, Billy. It isn’t always inherently sexual, though; he uses touch as an affirmation more so than words, so he’ll make a point of brushing loose hairs out of Dee’s face, or sliding his arms around her waist whenever he can. He’s finally at a stage in his life where he can afford to be soft and affectionate, so naturally he wants to make the most of it.

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

Depends on the situation. Both of them are borderline workaholics, so staying still for anything longer than half an hour during the day just doesn’t sit well with them and they’ll take themselves off to get back to work. If they fall asleep in each other’s arms, though? You best believe they’ll still be entwined when morning comes.

Who gives the most kisses?

Dee’s the smoocher of the pair, always has been, though Billy has taken to planting a kiss on her forehead when her brows knit together while working to ease the tension there.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity?

Their secret indulgence is sacking off work on a Friday night to order pizza and drink beer while watching some dumb movie neither are really interested in. Sometimes they invite the others over, but more often than not it’s just their night to breathe and enjoy each other’s company.

Dee will adamantly deny that she almost always falls asleep during the movie, though…

Where is their favourite place to cuddle?

Billy spared no expense when decorating his penthouse, so the sofa and bed are simply to die for. In the end that’s what spurs Dee to move in with him, lest she have to listen to him complain about her brick of a sofa one more time…

How often do they get time to themselves?

Not as often as they’d like. Later on down the line, when Dee leaves her clinic behind, they both work at Anvil, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they have more time to themselves. It’s busy, especially in the wake of the Rawlins fiasco, but things settle down eventually. They take those moments to themselves whenever they can.

Sleeping:

Who snores?

Mercifully, neither of them do.

If both do, who snores the loudest?

While neither of them snore, Dee talks utter nonsense in her sleep, which Billy then teases her for relentlessly.

Do they share a bed or sleep separately?

Always share a bed. Sleep doesn’t come easy to Dee, but having Billy beside her helps.

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

They’ll cozy up as they fall asleep. More often than not they’ll wake up like that too, though Dee has been known to shift into some utterly nonsensical positions that would make a chiropractor cry.

What do they wear to bed? If they’re together?

Dee sleeps in a vest and shorts all year round.

Billy? Just underwear, unless previously removed before falling asleep …

Are either of them insomniacs?

Dee is a chronic insomniac and workaholic. While they’re in the middle of their break-up, can’t-stand-the-sight-of-each-other phase, Dee works through the night until she physically can’t stay awake any longer; anything to avoid the tossing and turning and overthinking that awaits her in bed. Things get better after Rawlins is dealt with and Billy is back in the picture, but it’s still a struggle for her at times.

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

Dee tried them once. They don’t work.

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

A little bit of both. Dee likes feeling Billy there with her so will tangle herself up in his arms and legs when she can, but if it’s hot? Stuff that. There’s nothing Dee hates more than feeling hot and smothered.

Who wakes up with bed hair?

Dee, and she will forever be bitter that Billy I’m-So-Perfect Russo can wake up looking like a damn model regardless of the antics they got up to the night before.

Who wakes up first?

If Dee had a fitful night of sleep, she’ll be up and out of bed at the earliest reasonable hour. On a normal day, Billy will wake up first.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

They usually just grab breakfast on the way to work, but if it’s a weekend or a special occasion? Billy is known to surprise her with breakfast in bed.

What’s their favourite sleeping position?

Billy on his back with Dee against his side, her head in the crook of his neck.

Do they set an alarm each night?

Billy doesn’t need one; perks of being a marine, and all. If they need to be up at a certain time, he’ll wake Dee up himself… sometimes in creative ways.

Can a television be found in their bedroom?

No. Billy never had one in his bedroom when he lived alone, and Dee wasn’t fussed either way.

Who has nightmares?

They both have their demons, so nightmares are a frequent occurrence. There’s a shared sense of comfort there, though; the pair always knowing what the other needs when they awake with a start, sheen of sweat on their body. The nightmares don’t follow them into the waking world anymore.

Who has ridiculous dreams?

Dee. And she’ll mutter and talk in her sleep the whole time.

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

Surprisingly, Billy. While he’s kept many of his old sleeping habits from his days in the marines, he just can’t resist sprawling out in a big, fancy bed these days.

Who makes the bed?

They’re both neat people, so the general unspoken rule is whoever was last out of bed in the morning makes it.

What time is bed time?

It varies. They do try to have a healthy work-life balance, but Anvil is Billy’s pride and joy; if he needs to stay late working, he’ll do it without complaint. They’ll usually collapse into bed any time between 11PM and 2AM.

Any routines/rituals before bed?

Regular things; showering, brushing teeth, etc. If they haven’t seen much of each other all day they’ll lay awake chatting for a while, catching up on news and such. If Dee is going through a particularly bad stint of insomnia, she’ll work out in the evening to try and quell some of the restless feelings, and Billy has taken to joining her.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

Dee. Billy is insufferably smug and cheerful on a morning.  

Work:

Who is the busiest?

It varies. When Dee is working at the clinic, she’s working constantly. Where Frank goes, trouble is never far behind, and thus there’s never a quiet moment without a bullet wound to patch up or regular patient to see to. After she decides to call it quits and work for Anvil with Frank, Billy and Curtis, her workload decreases a bit. Though she may be the resident medic, Billy has a lot more work and responsibilities being at the top of the chain in that scenario.

Who rakes in the highest income?

Mr Billy Bigshot-CEO Russo

Are any of them unemployed?

No.

Who takes the most sick days?

Dee is very much of the ‘work until you drop’ ethic, and while the same can be said about Billy too in some respects, he’s more lenient with himself and will take a day off when he really needs it. He’ll also bribe encourage Dee to do the same when it’s evident she needs a break.

And I mean hey, what’s the point in owning your own company if you can’t take a cheeky sick day off every now and then?

Who is more likely to turn up late to work?

They travel together (technically live in the same damn building as their offices) so they really have no excuse. For the most part it all runs smoothly, but there are occasions where their ….. morning activities….. overrun, though Dee is adamant that you can never actually be late if you turn up with the boss; everyone else is just there early.  

Who sucks up to their boss?

Billy is technically Dee’s boss so…. go figure.

What are their jobs?          

After leaving the military, Dee establishes a small clinic in Hell’s Kitchen and works out of there for a few years. It’s met with a lot of resistance, what with her helping Frank out and getting involved in his grievances with local gangs. Eventually, post-S1 and after an arson attack leaves the clinic worse for wear, Dee decides to take up Billy’s offer of working for Anvil alongside Curtis on the medical team.

Billy still owns and runs Anvil, only with his friends by his side this time. It takes some time for the company’s reputation to recover, even after the truth about Rawlins comes out and Billy is exonerated, but he doesn’t mind the work. It makes it feel like his company again.

Who stresses the most?

They both have a knack for stressing and worrying, but Dee comes out on top in this regard. Maria always used to joke that she’d end up with frown lines by the time she’s thirty.

Do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

They do. Billy has an immense sense of pride in his work now, and it’s therapeutic for him to work through the mess Rawlins made and reclaim Anvil as his.

Dee loves helping people, always has, so her work suits her.

Are they financially stable?

They are.

Home:

Who does the washing?

They’ll take it in turns for the most part. Both are incredibly neat people so household work is a breeze.

Who takes out the trash?

They’ll usually do it on the way to work, though if it’s cold outside and they have nowhere to be? Billy’s the one to take one for the team.

Who does the ironing?

Billy took one look at the way Dee irons shirts and forbid her from going near an iron again.

Who does the cooking?

Cooking is something they love to do together. It’s a chance for them to unwind and chat and laugh with each other after long working days, so it’s never a chore for them. If a few glasses of wine just happen to be drank during the process, too… well… they deserve it.

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

They’re both pretty competent cooks.

Who is messier?

Neither is particularly messy, per se. Dee will say she’s not untidy and call her chaotic desk ‘organized clutter’, but that’s usually limited to her workspaces. The penthouse itself is almost always clean and tidy.

Who leaves the toilet roll empty?

Neither, because they are not heathens… in this regard, at least.

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

If Billy is tired, he’ll just strip wherever is convenient and deal with the clothes in the morning. Dee at least makes the extra effort to hang things up or, at the very least, drape it over a chair.

Who forgets to flush the toilet?

They’re both pretty good for remembering that.

Who is the prankster around the house?

Dee has more of a sense of humor than Billy, but that’s not to say Billy doesn’t act like an utter asshole at times when he sees the opportunity.

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

Dee doesn’t have a car (she can drive, there’s just not much use for one in the city) so she’s exempt.

I feel like Billy’s car keys are permanently attached to his person. He drives a Wraith, after all.

Who mows the lawn?

Lawn? What’s that?

(Not having a garden is the one thing Dee doesn’t particularly like about city living, though)

Who answers the telephone?

Each has their own mobile, so they deal with their own calls and such.

Who does the vacuuming?

Like with most housework, they’ll take it in turns. Dee refuses to hoover stairs, though, on the grounds that she doesn’t have a death wish.

Who does the groceries?

It depends on whoever has the least amount of work to do on that particular day. Billy quickly catches on to Dee’s confectionary-buying ways, though, so he’ll volunteer to do the shopping more often than not to save their pantry from yet more sugar.

Who takes the longest to shower?

With both of them having served tours overseas, they’re used to showering quickly and effectively. If they’re in the shower together, though? All notions of saving water are out the window.

Who spends the most time in the bathroom?

Billy. Russo. That man has a morning beauty routine to rival any model.

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem?

Nope!

How many cars do they own?

One.

Do they own their home or do they rent?

Billy owns the penthouse. Prior to moving in with him, Dee used to rent an apartment in the city.

Do they live in the city or in the country?

New York, New York, baby!

Do they enjoy their surroundings?

Both grew up in city environments, so New York just feels like home to them. I think after everything they’ve been through, both individually and together, anywhere else would just feel…. Boring?

What’s their song?

Green Grass by Tom Waits

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

If Billy is away with work, they call or skype whenever they can. They’ve spent unwanted time apart in the past, on particularly bad terms to boot, so they don’t like being away from each other for extended periods.

Where did they first meet?

Dee practically grew up with Maria; the two had been nigh on inseparable since the day they met in elementary school, and formed a sisterly bond that carried on way into adulthood. Dee was already going through basic training when Maria introduced her to Frank, who then brought Billy along to the group a couple of weeks later. The two swiftly became close friends, and dabbled in a bit of the ol friends-with-benefits arrangement when off duty.

Who spends the most money when out shopping?

Billy is more willing to spend money, but he rarely goes out shopping for himself; it’s either something to boost Anvil’s status or capabilities, or something for the penthouse. Dee grew up lacking the financial cushion they have today, so old habits die hard in her case. She won’t buy things for herself unless she really needs something, and even then it takes a lot of internal debating to reach that point.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

Dee is fairly clumsy, much to her dismay (and Billy’s apparent enjoyment).

Any mental issues?

Hoo boy. Billy is an entire essay in his own right so I’ll focus on Dee, though a lot of their mental troubles overlap. Dee left the military after a mission in Iraq under Schoonover went awry, landing the unit in a hostage situation with only Dee and the Major managing to survive two weeks until they were extracted. She was initially given leave to recover and recuperate with intentions of returning to duty, but she decided against it and was discharged. Dee was later diagnosed with PTSD as a result of the incident. Add to that the later trauma of losing Maria, her lifelong best friend and practically her sister, as well as Lisa and Frank Jr.? The woman went through a lot in an incredibly short space of time and it took its toll on her both mentally and physically.

(I’m missing a lot but alas I have not slept and cannot write a coherent paragraph)

Who’s terrified of bugs?

Dee point-blank refuses to be in the same room as a spider. She knows it’s a bit pathetic, but frankly? She doesn’t really care. Other bugs are fine, just no creepy crawlies inside, please.

Who kills the spiders around the house?

As mentioned above, Dee will not touch a single spider so it’s down to Billy to be the hero and remove them from the building.

Their favourite place?

New York City apartments don’t have much in the way of gardens, but the rooftop terrace on the penthouse quickly became their favourite spot once it was given a bit of TLC. Dee has a few planters for growing flowers and herbs for the kitchen, and Billy surprised her one night with a firepit perfect for huddling around as the sun goes down. It’s like a little safe haven away from the stressful jobs and business below them.

Who pays the bills?

They both contribute, Dee was very insistent on that when she moved in, though Billy offered otherwise.

Do they have any fears for the future?

Plenty. Billy still doubts himself, still judges himself by his past mistakes and actions and worries that one day, everything he holds dear will eventually crumble before him again, only this time he won’t be able to pick up the pieces. He keeps these fears to himself, but Dee can tell when those thoughts are giving him grief, and is always there to offer words of reassurance.

Dee worries about Frank. Her elder brother almost; the one constant in her life over the tumultuous years. She worries that one day, this life they’ve all rebuilt together won’t be enough for him, that he’ll miss what made him him, miss the violence and vengeance. And she gets it, to an extent. She lived that life too after Maria and the kids passed, helping him and getting her hands dirty in ways that meant they’ll never be clean again. But she’s settled now, here, with Billy and Frank and Curtis. She just worries the peace she found won’t last.

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

Billy, most definitely. He has expensive tastes to begin with and is fairly spontaneous in nature; he’ll often call Dee at work to announce that they’re going out mere hours in advance. It brings him joy to do things for others.

Who’s the tallest?

Billy. He’ll tease Dee about it from time to time, but really? He loves the way he can press his lips to her forehead when she’s in his arms.

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

While they both love showering together and, ahem, other more scandalous antics, it’s usually Billy who initiates and slips into the shower behind Dee as opposed to the other way around because for Christ sake Billy shower at a reasonable hour who willingly gets up at 5:30 every morning

Who wanders around in their underwear?

Dee, though Billy has been known to join the underwear party when he a. hungover b. exhausted or c. too damn warm.

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

Dee, and while she can indeed sing, she gets so much more joy out of seeing Billy’s grimace whenever she purposefully butchers a song.

What do they tease each other about?

Dee pokes fun at Billy’s hair and how goddamn perfect it is all the time. She’s also taken to lovingly ruffling it up a tad when they’re at home, though that often ends with either her being hoisted over his shoulder or tickled relentlessly…

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

They both dress fairly smartly on a day to day basis, taking pride in their appearance and the way they present themselves to the world. There is one exception, however, and that is when Dee insists on lounging around the penthouse that god awful “I Got A Dig Bick” tee Frank gifted Billy during one of Anvil’s annual jokey Secret Santa exchanges. Each time he sees it in the laundry basket he tries his best to dispose of it, but that thing just keeps on making its way back into the wardrobe...

Do they have mutual friends?

They do! Frank and Curtis being the main two, with Karen being more of a mutual acquaintance for Billy, who missed out on a lot while stuck working for Rawlins.

Who crushed first?

There was a mutual attraction there which ultimately spurned the whole friends-with-benefits situation, but Dee was the first to start getting actual Feelings.

Any alcohol or substance related problems?

None.

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk,  at 3 am?

If they’re out drinking that late, they’re most likely out together. Dee’s accent gets stronger when she’s drunk, which Billy finds hilarious. Coincidentally, he also finds everything funny when shitfaced drunk. Naturally, they make quite the pair...

Who swears the most?

Dee swears like a sailor, at any minor inconvenience. Dropped something? Oh fuck off. Minor inconvenience? Bastard. Billy blames it on being exposed to Frank Castle at an early age, which earns a fuck you from them both.

[thescottpack]

Killer Queen - I

King Alfred x Oc x Bjorn Ironside

A/n: I'm rewriting this fanfiction, because it was trash. I'm going to change a lot of things and I think it looks way better now.

The sound of the queen's shoes were echoing through the silent corridors, it's been a wile since Alenna step foot inside this castle. She didn't wait to long to come back because she wanted to but unfortunally she didn't live in England and as a Queen Alenna have responsabilities now.

All the good memories she have from this castle like when she used to ran in the courtyard with Alfred and Aethered when they were kids or steal some cake from the kitchen. Alenna could swear if she closed her eyes she could hear her father's lagh that was always so loud at the feast but it's all different now, she was a queen not princess anymore her parents were no longer with her to hold her hand when she got scared and Alfred in these days were not just a boy. At the end of the corridor she saw the guards at the door and they allowed her to enter the room.

When Alenna steped in the room she notice Alfred stanting in front of the long table that was in the midle of the room.It had a variety of foods and the fireplace was lit. The queen approached and knelt in front of the new king of England.

"Rise, you are a queen."

He grabed her hand with his and gave a kiss, Alfred looked at her eyes and smiled.

''What brings you back to these lands my queen? It's been a long time since you paid me a visit, I'm really surprised.''

''I am the one who should be suprised! The bastard son turning into a king.''

''If I were you I would be carreful with your words, I may be a bastard but I'm still the King.''

''I can see that you haven't changed much since I saw you.You're still so serious and stiff.''

Alfred smiled remembering the times that he and Alenna were together in the past. He pushed away those memories so he could focus on what she had to say and sat down on his chair.

''So what brings you to England again after almost two years?''

"You may have heard of my father's death that happened a few months ago.''

''Unfortunately the bad news arrives fast enough.My condolences king Edward was a great man.''

''But he wasn't a good negotiator.I didn't travel here to pay a visit, I want an alliance between my kingdom and your kingdom Alfred.''

''You were very quick to take your throne since you don't have a brother huh?"

Alenna smiled at the doubt of the man in front of her.

"After all these years and you still think I'd put a knife on your back? Those vikings are coming and you know that, the war between you is not over.You need a bigger army more warriors on your side and I want to help."

"I believe in your words and thank you for your help but what exactly would you gain from it?"

" I'll help you protect your land and you help me protect my, simple as that."

When the king was about to speak the door opened again and steped into the room smiling.

"Forgive me to interrupt the two of you but as I was coming in here I had heard the end of your talk."

"You're eavesdropping?" Alfred asked in a rushed tone.

"There is no stronger and more reliable alliance than a marriage, you two should unite to create more power."

"Forgive me but I didn't come here to find a husband. I came here to get an army."

Judith smiled at Alenna and looked at her son that remained on his chair then she approached Alenna and put her hands on the girl's shoulders.

"The world would turn so small for two extremely intelligent people like you two are, both of you are young with such a pure heart. Can't you see Alfred? Have not you noticed yet? Alenna is no longer a princesse but a queen of wonderful lands and even after her father's death she managed to keep the place intact from invaders.You two together would be the strongest alliance of the realms."

Alenna took a deep breath as Alfred rose from the throne and headed toward the her.

"I think this is a matter we should discuss this by ourselves."

The king offered his arm for Alenna to interlock with his, so they left the main hall and headed to his room.

As soon as they entered Alfred closed the door behind him. Alenna turned to face Alfred and smiled. The girl approached him putting her hands on the face of the young king.

"I said I was coming back didn't I?"

"You took too long."

With his hands on her waist he pulled her closer to his chest and after two years of waiting he finally got to kiss her.

It made Alfred smile, leaning his forehead against hers.

Quickly Alenna started to remove the king's clothes and when only his trousers were left she turned onto her back and pulled her hair to her chest.

Alfred saw the opportunity and left trails of kisses on the back of her neck as he helped her remove the corset.

Finally when they were both completely undressed the king lies down slowly with Alenna on the bed being carreful toe not deposit all his weight on her and then resume the kiss again.

Her hands caressed Alfred's hair bringing him closer and suddenly Alenna realized how hot it was between them, as if their bodies were on fire but not in a painful way but addictive. Her legs were entwined with his and when Alfred moved his lips to kiss her chest she felt one of his hands slide down her thigh towards her sensitive spot.

At first Alenna's breathing stopped for a second and when the circular moves started, her heart started to beat faster and her breathing was wheezing.

"I want you inside me." She told the king.

She didn't need to beg or ask twice Alfred would do whatever Alenna wanted whenever she wanted. He gave himself entirely to her, it was always like that and will always be like that for him.

She felt him slowly entering her without haste.Usually they were never in a hurry to make love, their goal was to spend as much time together as possible.

The king's movements were slow but steady, his hands were now on either side of Alenna's pillow and the more he heard her moan beneath him more intensity he put on.

Alenna's hands were now on the king's back.She could feel his breath right into to her face, she swore he was so beautiful to look at, all sweaty and focused on bringing her pleasure. When she felt herself squeeze around him involuntarily, Alenna threw her head back and it felt so good and she didn't want to stop even though her body begged her to let go.

It didn't take long for her to reach the peak of pleasure calling Alfred's name She moved her waist along with his making him collapse on top of her.

He quickly lay down beside Alenna on the bed as the two of them breathed heavily while looking at the ceiling.

"I don't want to leave this room anymore". Alfred said.

"If it was the way I wanted we would stay here all day."

Alenna smiled and put her head on his chest while Alfred wrapped his arm around her but their peace didn't last long, someone was knocking on the door.

"Alfred, you got things to do and places to be!" Aethelred shouted from the other side of the room.

The king growled in frustration and got up from the bed noticing that Alenna did the same and began to dress again.

"You should go he looks very impatient." Alenna smiled as she headed towards the door.

"Wait! Are you going to leave like this? Aethelred is on the other side of the door he will see you."

Alenna smirked and opened the door anyway.

"I'll see you later my king."

As soon as the queen leaves the room, Aethelred enters without asking permission. He looks at the messy bed and then looks at his brother with arched eyebrows.

"Just like the old times".

Alfred looked at his brother in awe making Aethelred laugh.

"Get dressed and thank God that it was me and not mother".

[retrocontinuity]

Eat, for this is Her Body: Chainsaw Man and the Doxology of Cannibalism

"One day," Anthony Oliveira writes in "The Year in Apocalypses," [Jesus'] disciples approached their master while he was silent in prayer and made a request: 'Lord, teach us how to pray.'" From here, Jesus teaches them the Lord's Prayer, what the Catholic Church once called "the summary of the whole gospel":

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Denji is no one's disciple. When we first meet him, he is closer to how Oliveira describes Jesus himself, "homeless, gleaning for food in the field like a sparrow and relying on the kindness of strangers to put him up, . . . a man cheerfully resigned to powerlessness." And so, Denji doesn't need to be taught how to pray. He has always known. Every bone in his body at the opening of Chainsaw Man sings out the Lord's Prayer: "forgive me my debts", "deliver me from evil." And, of course, Denji is intimately familiar with the prayer's most pitiable, most powerful line. It's this line that he cries out to Makima when he rests, Pieta-like, in her arms at the end of the first chapter. It can only be this line, one that Denji might have written himself:

Give me, from this day forward, and for all the rest of my days, daily bread.

Bread runs throughout CSM like a mocking scent that you only fully identify in the last two chapters. It should have been a sign to all of us when the first meal Makima buys for Denji is not bread (but rather a hot dog and udon noodles). It isn't until Denji meets and enters Aki's home that he is seen making a hideously overladen slice of toast for himself, luxuriating in having all the toppings he was denied. The morning after she forces Denji to open the door to Power's death, Makima makes the very breakfast she once promised to serve Denji: eggs, coffee, salad, and sliced bread. But this is a meal that Denji never eats—maybe the only meal in the entire series that he, a survivor of the meanest starvation and poverty, ignores. There is only one other time we see this meal in CSM, and it is subtle, almost off camera, though no less meaningful: in Chapter 53, after Reze's death, as Denji sits down to breakfast once more with Power and Aki.

To revisit CSM's public safety arc is to see all the ways the plot connects itself to food and the act of eating, both appetizing and revolting, both profound and profane. Denji, eating gyoza at a bar for the first time. Denji being forced to swallow barf as he is kissed for the first time. The Fox Devil, who eats indiscriminately and on command, who refuses to return to Aki after being fed something disgusting. A fox that is hunted and transformed into stew. Denji eating sandwiches at Reze's cafe. Aki and Angel eating noodles. A woman sitting down to eat a hamburger for the first time, before she commits mass murder. She is worried she has lost her taste buds, yet she exclaims, "So delicious!" We know, later, that this woman is a liar, that no part of her is what she presents herself to be. Should we take this moment at its face value then? Was Santa Claus simply lucky enough to have preserved her sense of taste? Or was it her one last act of humanity, to recognize that it is not enough just to eat, that man does not live on bread alone, that there must be at least food that is also delicious, that inspires people to get up and dance—even if it means she has to lie about what she can experience?

Food is necessary for survival, and CSM is a story about survival. But CSM is also a story about glimpsing the after. After you know you can keep living, what next? After you are no longer starving, after you have been forced to kill a friend, after you have touched your first boob, after you have been betrayed, what next? After you are tired of eating toast with jam for breakfast, what do you eat next?

The version of the Lord's Prayer we tend to recite asks for "our daily bread." But this, most modern scholars believe, is a mistranslation. The Greek adjective as it appears in the Gospel of Matthew and Luke is "epiousios," which doesn't mean "daily" at all, but rather something too complicated etymologically for me to even begin to parse. The point is that what we ask for in the Lord's Prayer is not just bread for today, but bread for tomorrow. Both the physical bread and the spiritual bread. Bread on this kingdom of earth, and bread that is the kingdom of heaven. Bread to feed our bodies, and bread to feed our souls. The realm of the divine is full of these moments, isn't it? Of two things existing at once, in one.

Denji starts the series asking for daily bread, and ends the public safety arc with Nayuta, Makima's reincarnation, asking him for daily bread. Trash heap Denji, living with his not!dog Pochita, really was just asking for daily bread. A slice to eat for breakfast, maybe even with butter and jam. But he too learns that bread, physical bread, is not enough. Merely to subsist, to eat good food, is an empty life. And what he must give Nayuta is not just bread, as was given to him. Otherwise, he will be trapped in a cycle of creating more Makimas. Instead, he must give her a relationship, a family, a world that Makima was unable to create. He must give her, in Pochita's words, lots of hugs. He must give her, in the words of the Lord's Prayer, epiousios.

To be clear, I am not arguing that CSM is meant to be read through a Catholic lens, and I doubt Fujimoto had all of this in mind when he wrote it (though he must have thought something, given that he drew a very large print of Gustave Dore's "Satan descends upon Earth" in Makima's entranceway!). But there is something primal (primordial?) about the Lord's Prayer. If every reader can understand the horror that the Darkness Devil represents, so too we can understand the intimacy and comfort of the Lord's Prayer. It is, as Oliveira writes, "a simple peasant's mantra for detoxing anxiety." Jesus opens by addressing God as father—not king, not an all-mighty spiritual being, but rather "abba, which is rather closer to 'dad,' and not in the intercultural Greek of his adulthood, but the Aramaic of home and childhood." The Lord's Prayer asks for what we always want, the only thing any of us have ever wanted since leaving the womb as infants: for no bad things to happen, for there to be enough to eat.

Even if what we have to eat is another person.

At the center of the Christian liturgy is the Last Supper, and at the center of the Last Supper is a meal that functions as ritual, abomination, accusation, transubstantiation, paranoia, and an early example of cracking open a cold one with the bros. Here, Jesus shares bread and wine with his disciples and then, as if trying to invent r/creepypasta years before its time, informs them they are actually eating his flesh and blood. This image is so powerful and heretical that the Romans accused early Christians of being cannibals. And why shouldn't they? It's there in the text. "Take, eat. This is my body. This is my blood." Stripped of the grandeur of tradition and ritual, this is downright vampiric. And yet it goes on to become the cornerstone of the Christian faith.

Oliveira begs us to see the Last Supper as a family meal, one shared by Jesus and his found family. "All he is really saying is, 'I hope when you eat together, you remember me.'" It's a good reading, one that moves me to tears, and is the framework through which I see the events of chapter 80. Because Makima is not the first time that Denji "consumes" a friend, and I don't just mean him sucking Power's blood or taking Pochita into himself. When Aki died, he left half his fortune to Denji, who uses it to support himself and Power. They "pigged out on good food," he tells us. This is Aki's symbolic body, through which he provides Denji his daily bread. Eat ice cream and onigiri in remembrance of me.

But it is not how I see the events of chapter 96. Denji does not eat Makima in the context of a feast. He does not partake of her in a communal meal, as Jesus did, among his found family. He eats every bite of Makima alone. Jesus said before his death, "this is my blood, which is shed for many." Yet Denji says to Makima, I alone will absolve you alone of your sins. I alone will bear you alone.

Denji's Last Supper is a lonely remembrance. He is hoping that no one but him will remember her. He is hoping to wholly consume her, because he loves her. "We love as cannibals," French philosopher and activist Simone Weil wrote. "Beloved beings . . . provide us with comfort, energy, a simulant. They have the same effect on us as a good meal. . . . We love them, then, as food." In fact, Weil believed we cannot love any other way. As humans, we are forever doomed to want to eat the ones we love. In order to escape, we must both be devoured by God and then become food for our fellow human beings. As Alec Irwin writes of Weil's philosophy, "the devouring violence of God must be positively harnessed in order to dismantle the machinery of human cruelty."

If Weil is right and being devoured is transformation, a crucial part of salvation, then in eating Makima, Denji redeems her. He turns her into food to break the cycle of her cruelty. For Makima's power itself is consuming, cannibalistic. She "eats" humans in order to use her power, which remains mysterious like God moving across the face of the earth, leaving only broken corpses as a sign of its presence. So it must be Denji, not Chainsaw Man, who does the consuming. If Pochita had consumed her, as she had always prayed for, then it would simply be another act of violence being enacted. Instead, Denji gives her salvation by turning her into human food—his food.

To Denji, Aki was human, his family, his brother, his friend.  It is Makima he loves as a God and a woman. To him, she is Satan and God, his betrayer and his creator, his salvation and his friends' damnation. So he must take her, consume her, digest her, excrete her, reduce her to nothing, as she once consumed and excreted and reduced him. "I ate her to become one with her." He ate her to become her. There is no truer form of his love than for Denji to take Makima into himself. I use those words purposefully, because this is the rejection of classic cishet PIV penetration, that old hoary chestnut of men inside women. As Don Delillo famously outlines in White Noise, we talk about sex as if women are containers, rooms, elevator lobbies: "He entered me," "I want him inside me," "I took him into myself." Denji and Makima never have physical sex, but this is a consummation, a reversal of roles. We are given the only sex that Shounen Jump will allow us, with Denji taking Makima into himself. She enters him. She is inside him. He is—physically, emotionally, willingly—penetrated by her flesh. She is released inside of him, becoming part of him.

Because the divine is full of moments like this, isn't it? Of two things existing at once, in one. That is the kingdom and the power and the glory. For Makima now lives in that country inhabited by God, where loving and eating are one and the same. For that country is none other than Denji's body.

In conclusion:

Substitute Makima for "God", and the preceding statements are still rigorously accurate.

Further Reading:

Anthony Oliveira's ongoing podcast reading the Gospel of Mark (Patreon exclusive, but I highly recommend, even/especially if you are a heathen like me)

Hannibal (NBC)

Daniel Birnbaum and Anders Olsson, An Interview with Jacques Derrida on the Limits of Digestion

David Farrell Krell, "All You Can't Eat: Derrida's Course, "Rhetorique du Cannibalisme (1990-1991)." Research in Phenomenology, vol. 36, 2006, pp. 130–180. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/24660636. 

Alec Irwin, “Devoured by God: Cannibalism, Mysticism, and Ethics in Simone Weil.” CrossCurrents, vol. 51, no. 2, 2001, pp. 257–272. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/24460795.

[ratmonky]

Glory of Power

Word Count: 3.4K

Warnings: misogyny, dacryphilia, exhibitionism, public, manipulation

AO3 Link

From across the room, you could see him take small sips from his drink. Some petite server girl was filling his glass with a smile and the people surrounding him were all laughing at a story he was telling.

Charismatic and confident.

Everyone wanted to be him.

Everyone wanted him.

You wanted him.

You wanted to be one of those people who surrounded him. Desperately wanted to stand next to him and have his arm around your waist as he told those people his stories. You wanted to be owned by him and everyone to know you belonged to him.

However, no matter how much you wanted to approach him, you were quite out of your element tonight. A large gathering full of famous and wealthy people was as elegant as you thought it would be. There were servers, a pianist gracefully playing a tasteful piece and people were all chatting about things you couldn’t keep up with.

You had tried blending in with a group a couple of hours ago and grabbed a glass of champagne to join them as they were talking about politics but you realized that your views were clashing from the moment they opened their mouth.

Although you would like to call them out on their political views, the others in the group started to agree and nod with a laugh. Feeling lost, you sipped from your champagne instead.

Hours later the same champagne had gone flat and you were standing in the corner, watching the people around you socialize.

The atmosphere was smothering you and the pressure of wanting to make a good impression before everyone left was enough to give you a headache.

In the dark quiet of some of the people leaving the Zenin compound, you walked out to the balcony to get some fresh air after finally leaving your flat champagne on a table. The summer breeze made you shiver a little and you saw someone who had come here to escape the people just like you.

Naoya was smoking, leaning on a pillar, and watching the full moon with interest. It was just the two of you alone together here for the first time in the night. He hadn’t noticed your presence on the balcony.

Although you wanted to walk up to him and start a conversation like you had been wanting to all night, you hadn’t had enough to drink to have that much confidence but then why were you walking towards him?

Naoya turned his head to you when he took notice of you approaching him. A faint smile tugged at his lips. “I see my father invited the weaker link to a clan gathering.”

You forced a smile and awkwardly stood in front of him. A little too dumb to notice that he had actually insulted you. “He invited the head of my clan but since he was busy I’m here.”

“You came here all by yourself to represent your clan?”

A nod.

“Did you manage to befriend anyone?”

A shrug.

He chuckled, shaking his head slightly. “This is why women shouldn’t get involved in clan politics.” Naoya made a thoughtful sound, bringing his hand up to inhale his cigarette smoke.

“What about you?” you asked, beaming up at him. “I saw you chatting up a large crowd, any progress?”

“No.” He was quick to shake his head. “None of their clans are worthy of being the Zenin Clan’s ally.”

“Well, what about mine?” you asked playfully.

He scoffed.

You cocked a brow at that, frowning just slightly. “What?”

“Do you really wanna know what I think about your clan?”

“Are you always this rude?”

This time Naoya nodded with a smirk.

Grumbling under your breath, you looked at the view from the balcony. The large mountains looked breathtaking in the night sky.

It became silent between the two of you. But this time Naoya broke the silence.

“Wanna grab a drink?” he asked, flicking the ash off his cigarette.

You turned to look at him, and right away the intensity of his stare made you flustered. “I could use some.”

“I meant for me,” he replied and cocked his head to gesture inside the compound. “Go fetch something for me.”

“Oh, okay.” Like an obedient puppy, you went inside to grab the two drinks from one of the servers going around. You returned to Naoya’s side and he took the beverage from you. He wasn’t wearing his usual attire tonight, he was wearing a suit. It fit him well, almost too well.

“How crowded is it?” he asked out of nowhere.

You stumbled on your words. “Everyone is leaving,” you said, glancing at him for a second. This time, he was watching you. “I guess since you’re not there they don’t have a reason to stay.”

Naoya clicked his tongue and stubbed out his cigarette. “This was a waste of time.”

“It wasn’t.” You offered him a smile. “It was a good way to bring sorcerer clans together.”

“Then what’s the purpose of you being here?” Naoya raised a brow. “You’re not a sorcerer. You can’t find allies for your clan or bring me a drink.”

“I did, I brought you a drink,” you said, smile disappearing because of his change of mood.

Naoya turned the champagne glass to the side until he could pour out its contents down from the balcony to the garden. “Do I look like a champagne guy to you?”

You stared at your own glass in shame, “That was what they were serving.”

He held the glass to you and once you took it, he fished out his cigarette packet to put another cigarette between his lips. “Aren’t you a woman? Shouldn’t you be useful at least in some way?” He lit the cigarette and took a long whiff. “Why are you even here if you can’t be useful to anyone?”

“I-it’s my right,” you mumbled.

“What’s that? Speak up.”

“It’s my right as a member of my clan, I deserve the same respect my head of the clan gets.” Your hands holding the glasses were shaking.

Naoya watched your trembling hands with amusement.

“Stop looking down on me.” You managed not to stutter but your voice cracked. “We’re the same.”

“Same? Sweetheart, we’re not the same. Like any other woman, you can’t think with your brain. Don’t you understand? This is clan politics. Your head of the clan is a mighty man worthy of respect but you’re just some eye candy. You don’t have any rights or any worth to have anyone’s respect here.”

You could practically see the way his hand was trembling, as if unable to contain his anger. “You women are just a bunch of breeding holes if anything.” He took a drag of his cigarette to calm his senses, his eyes tracking your every movement.

Nevertheless, none of you were expecting you to splash your champagne in his face. Your body had moved on its own and you immediately regretted it when you saw Naoya glower down at you.

Taking a stuttering breath, you bit your lip, trying to find a word to say but you found yourself unable to utter a single syllable.

Naoya dragged a hand down his face and shook his hand to get rid of the excess liquid on his hand. His handsome face was marred with a fit of twisted anger when he noticed you had soaked his cigarette as well.

He was quiet. A little too quiet.

“I’m sorry.” You finally managed, taking a step back to put distance between the two of you. The shaking of your hands made your grip on the glasses loosen. The sound of something shattering came slightly afterward. You stared at the shattered glasses on the floor.

Naoya raised a brow, “Are you now?”

In the heat of the moment you had done something that could damage your clan’s reputation and worse than that… you did something Naoya would hate you for.

“I-I am. I’m sorry. I’m not s-someone s-special and I’m l-lame for even s-standing next to you but I-I am really h-honored to be at this party. I really am, I-I just got angry. I am glad I-I’m here. I… I’ve always loved you… I’m sorry.”

“What are you talking about? Are you apologizing or confessing your pathetic feelings?”

You couldn’t look at him, your eyes were on his shoes but you still had the guts to confess your feelings to him instead of apologizing.

Naoya stood still and watched you tremble. He could see how much courage you had to build up before coming here to tell him all this nonsense. You had to be madly in love with him or else why would you embarrass yourself like this?

“Are you done?” he asked, running a hand through his hair to prevent it from sticking to his soaked forehead.

Crack.

“Y-yeah.” There was no way you could hide how ashamed you were. The shaking wouldn’t stop, “I’m sorry.”

“You disrespect me, trash my house, and expect me to forgive you?” he hissed through his teeth. You started shaking your head and suddenly kneeled on the floor to grab the glass pieces.

“I’ll-I’ll clean it up, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any of this.” Your eyes were glossy with tears, not wanting to cry in front of him you quickly wiped them away. Picking up the glass pieces in your palm, you crawled to gather the larger pieces first. Some of the broken pieces were next to Naoya’s feet.

While you were picking the glass pieces in front of him, the skirt of your dress got soaked on the floor by the champagne you had splashed on him.

“Get out of my house.”

Your hands were twitching as you struggled to gather any more of the glass pieces. You fought down another swell of panic. “I’m sorry, I’ll clean this-”

“You’re gonna apologize by cleaning?” he asked in a mocking tone, “Leave.”

You looked up to him, eyes wide and glossy. “Naoya, please. I’m sorry.”

The view of you on your knees and barely a second away from crying caught him off guard. Your lower lip trembling in fear only made it better.

“How much do you love me?”

The question sounded simple but you didn’t know his intentions that laid beneath it or how his cheeks were tinted with a faint blush.

“A lot!” Your choked-up answer was instantaneous. It made him grin. Obedient women were just his type.

Naoya’s eyes squinted and his lips curled into a smile as he reached his hand out for you to hold. “Drop the glass shards.”

You did as he told and reached to take his hand to stand up but Naoya had other plans. He grabbed your hand by the wrist and pressed your palm against his bulge.

Stunned, you froze in the awkward position he placed your hand.

He let out an annoyed sigh, “Come on, prove it to me that you love me,” he was inanimate. His hand moved yours over his bulge, causing you to rub it.

“B-but.” You looked around in panic. “We’re outside-”

“So you don’t love me, is that it?”

“No! I do! But… I think-”

“You’re in love with me, right?” He had a sickening smile on his face.

“Naoya, what if someone comes out.” If he persisted one more time, you would start crying. “We should go somewhere else.”

“Do you want me to forgive you or do you want me to cut all ties with your clan?”

Your blood went cold, eventually understanding where you stood on the clan politics. Not only your clan was nothing compared to his own, one word from him could send everything the head of your clan built down the drain.

“I can’t do it here,” you cried, cheeks wet with tears. “I have a reputation.”

“Your crying voice is more erotic than I thought.” Naoya ignored your pathetic begging and chuckled. You gasped when you felt his cock throb under your hand. “(name),” he cooed, pressing your hand against his growing erection. You lifted your gaze up to him once again, facing him fully. His half-lidded gaze was already on you. “Be a good girl and do as I say.”

You nodded slowly and he pulled his hand back from yours to unbuckle his belt. His fingers moved gracefully and smoothly, it was sort of hypnotizing to see him unzip his pants.

You had seen him in the dojo growing up, learning to swing the wooden sword to practice for the real thing. His calloused hands were large and rough, yet when his hand reached to hold your chin in between his thumb and index finger, they were being gentle. The pad of his thumb pressed on your bottom lip and pushed it inside, making you open your mouth.

“Open wide,” he snickered, his other hand pushing his pants and boxers down to release his aching cock. “Or it won’t fit in.”

You moaned at his words, tongue pressed flat against his finger. He let you suck his finger into your mouth and watched with delight when your cheeks hollowed as your tongue swirled around his thumb.

Pulling his finger out of your mouth, he held his cock over your face and slapped it on your cheek. “Don’t forget, no teeth.” He didn’t let you answer, instead put the tip of his cock against your lips and pulled the thin layer of skin to expose the tip more.

Without wasting any time, you lolled out your tongue and held his throbbing cock in your hands to run your tongue from the base to the tip, following a vein. You looked up to him through your lashes while sliding your thumb over the tip of his cock that was glistening with precum already. He was watching you intently, which made your thighs rub together in anticipation.

“(name).” He thrust against your cheek, his precum dripping onto your face, “Open your mouth before I shove it down your throat.

Naoya sighed when you took him into your mouth, your glossy lips wrapping around the girth of his cock were almost euphoric, it made him thrust into your mouth. He tasted as good as he looked. Mild but quite salty.

“Good girl,” he groaned, his hand landed on your hair and he carded his thick fingers through the strands. “I knew there was some use to you.”

The second you started to bob your head, his hand settled on top of your head and began moving you. You let him do whatever he wanted, all you had to do was suck in your cheeks and wrap your tongue around the girth of his cock while he was directing you as he pleased.

With a harsh thrust of his hips, his cock grazed the back of your throat. You gagged reflexively as he abruptly started to force his cock down your throat to fuck your face.

Drool and his precum gushed out from your mouth with every snap of his hips and you looked up at him lovingly. His smothering eyes watched you with a blank expression yet you could see a small trace of pleasure in them.

“You’re enjoying this way much more than I do.”

Your sloppy blowjob, the drool that was running down your chin, and tears staining your face, all of it made Naoya’s cock twitch in your mouth.

He grabbed the back of your head with his free hand and started to mindlessly fuck your mouth. Fresh tears pricked in the corners of your eyes and you tried your best to not ruin his moment of chasing after his relief. You reached down and under your skirt to your clothed cunt to rub tight circles over the soaked bud to get some sort of relief as well.

His hips staggeringly surged forward, he groaned and you felt him release his warm seed in your mouth. He kept his cock deep inside of your throat until he stopped cumming.

Once he pulled out he stared at your face, your mouth open and some of his cum stuck on your tongue. His face was leaning closer to yours, you puckered your open lips sluggishly to kiss him.

Instead of having his soft lips press against yours, Naoya spat in your mouth.

Your eyes widened in surprise while he laughed at your reaction.

“Did you really think I’d kiss you?” he scoffed. “You reek of cum.”

You stared at the ground in shame, speechless.

“Swallow it,” he ordered.

You shook your head slightly but he nodded rapidly while shushing you. A shiver ran up and down your spine because you were nothing but a desperate whore and you would do anything to please him. You glanced up at him before taking a deep breath.

“Come on, sweetheart.” he petted your hair lovingly, “Show me that you can at least be useful.”

Finally deciding to get over with it, you swallowed. Naoya gently put his hand under your chin and lifted your chin up. You were so obedient and you worshipped him more than anyone else did.

“What’s up with that face?” He raised a brow, frowning mockingly. “Show me a smile.”

You must be sick because you smiled, hoping to satisfy him.

“Good girl.”

Next thing you know, you’re up on your feet and being bent over towards the cement railing of the balcony.

Everything was happening too quickly for your head to catch up. You were already embarrassed about sucking him off in public and now when you were being bent over like this was off-limits.

“N-Naoya?” You sounded worried and in panic. Someone could walk in at any time.

“I haven’t gone limp yet.” Was Naoya’s reply. He focused on gathering the long skirt of your dress and lifting it up and over your ass. He whistled in amusement at the sight of your thighs being soaked with your juices.

“S-someone will see.”

“You didn’t worry about being seen while you had my dick in your mouth. What’s so different?” You felt your panties being slid to the side before the tip of his cock started moving between your folds. Naoya coated his cock with your glistening juices and lined himself up on your entrance. “Besides, you want to be seen with me, don’t you?”

You didn’t get to give him a reply as Naoya suddenly shoved his entire length inside your pussy. A sharp moan left your lips and you held tightly onto the railing, legs shaking in pleasure.

Naoya gasped audibly at your gummy walls taking the shape of his cock so nicely. He smiled to himself, pulling his hips back agonizingly slowly, and then slammed them inside your pussy until his balls slapped against your ass.

The panic that took over you disappeared as quickly as it appeared when Naoya started moving. “Aren’t you happy to be fucked by me?”

He slammed his cock into your cunt frantically and you found yourself nodding languidly at his question, you bit your lip to repress a moan.

His hand landed on your ass with a loud clap sound and you jerked forward, your grip tightening on the railing.

A moan finally escaped your lips when he grabbed you by your hips and forced you to arch your back so that he could mount you completely. His cock felt bigger and went deeper in this position, making you see the stars.

As you were nearing your end, your gummy walls clenched around him, making his already sensitive cock twitch frenziedly. Your hips started to move to meet his animalistic pace, soft sounds of pleasure escaping you without shame now.

Surprised by your body’s reaction, his cock throbbed inside you, spurting thick ropes of his seed inside your womb. He had been planning to pull out but you hadn’t let him.

Naoya continued moving his hips, fucking his cum deeper inside your pussy and watching it gust out from your hole. The sloppy sounds were pleasing to hear, at least to him they were.

When he pulled out, the skirt of your dress fell to cover your lower half. You could feel his cum ooze out from you as you tried standing up on your wobbly legs.

Behind you, Naoya had already tucked himself in his pants and fixed his suit. His blazer was damp from the champagne but since it was a dark navy color, it wasn’t visible.

He seemed in a better mood, his anger past forgotten but you still felt the need to apologize again. “I’m sorry for all of this. I ruined your night.”

Naoya smiled in response, tilting his head to the side slightly and taking a step to close the distance between the two of you. “Don’t worry, (name).” His hand snaked around your waist before he led you back inside the compound and to his room. “There’s still time for you to make it all up to me.”

[ginanosakka]

I Hate it Here

Masterlist

We Were Kids | Next

Moving you into Katsuki’s apartment across town took mere minutes, but everyday you spent there felt like years that you’d never get back. Everything felt too big and nostalgic, and the only thing grounding you to keep you from a panic attack, was Ryu being himself despite being pulled from school and transitioning to home school. He was just happy to be around his father all the time, immediately bombarding him with questions about his day the moment that he stepped through the door.

It wasn’t news that Katsuki wasn’t fond of comforting people, and the thought of him begging for forgiveness was laughable — but that brick wall you put up the moment you stepped through his threshold for the second time was driving him insane. When he was around, you were somewhere else in the house on the phone, or on the laptop you purchased and had shipped to his home as soon as possible. On the rare occasion he did see you for more than a few seconds, you looked drained of life. . and scared.

You were tough even when you two were young — the constant picking at you being quirkless might have made you think he thought otherwise, and he wondered if that contributed to your hardened shell now — but there was the rare occasion when something would break through your tough skin.

And it was always your father that did it.

Katsuki practiced his jabs that he tried out in training with Kirishima on the air, trying to make sure every moment was precise to recreate the amount of damage he dealt everytime. You had tagged along after phoning him and asking what he was doing, receiving the usual ‘I’m training and don’t give a shit if you come or not’ that you always took as a very hostile ‘yes’.

Usually, you’d make small noises of approval as he trained, and after yelling about you messing up his concentration but only getting a tongue stuck out at him in response, he had grown use to your annoying presence. Which is why he stole glances at you today when you were completely silent, and he found himself curious about why you didn’t even look at him as he trained. Bakugou was more aware of your every moment than you’d ever know, and he wanted it to stay that way, so he continued to only steal glances instead of confronting you.

“My dad didn’t tell me happy birthday.” There it was. The moment you’d break the silence and spill your guts to him with no coaxing needed from him.

That’s what drove him crazy about you; how you adapted to his pride and made being there for you so easy.

“He had Jun give me my necklace and money when I woke up, and I asked her if he made any plans to see me today. . She said he’s a busy man and I need to grow up. . Am I asking for too much?”

You looked up at him with every ounce of insecurity on full display, the kind of look he hated seeing on your face more than he hated seeing you in those stupid get-ups your mom bought you. Even he had said happy birthday to you, granted it was though text and there was no gift with it, but at least he had the decency to listen when you said that all you wanted was to hear two simple words from the people you cared about. It pissed Katsuki off even more that he knew you told your dad that’s all you wanted, and it didn’t take a genius to know that he didn’t do it on purpose. Now Katsuki had to be the one to pick up your broken pieces.

“Idiot, it’s not your fault that your old man is trash.” He grunted, turning away from you to stare at nothing so he didn’t have to see that stupid sparkle in your eyes when he said something nice.

That damn sparkle made his heart squeeze.

He was relieved to hear your soft laughter, “I guess you’re right. He’s better at bribing people than caring for them.”

If only he could tell you how true those words were.

“Shit.” Katsuki mumbled under his breathe, the realization of what was happening hitting him like a brick.

That day he went to your office, he hadn’t been there just to get a look at what you had accomplished, and the reason he got so riled up by your secretary was more than just being told he couldn’t see you. He had gotten a tip from Tokoyami that morning about a yakuza organization that was deeply involved in many missing people cases, and also suspects for the assasination of small business companies that were expected to outgrow large corporations.

That organization had your picture on the wall, along with pictures of those who were missing, and ones who had not gone missing but were on police watch due to the likelihood of them being taken next. Katsuki chalked it up to you being seen with him when he was a target for many villains due to his success in taking down and capturing villains with ease, and he let the most obvious point go over his head. He had just immediately wen to go see you to calm his nerves, not even second guessing his own answer that tied this back to the one man he had his own hit on.

The organization that had you targeted, acted under powerful businessmen in Japan. .

Your father was one of those powerful businessmen.

‘It all comes full fucking circle,’ Katsuki thought angrily as he picked up his office phone, knowing that he had to get his least favorite heroes on the case.

“I’m not asking you to take sides, I’m asking you to tell me the truth!” You hissed into the phone, and you could feel every ounce of your patience draining from your body and your tone.

It had been three days. Three days since you moved in with the father of your child, three days of feeling anxious and livid, and three days of trying to get in contact with your mother. For once, you could say that the least of your worries was Katsuki, and now it happened to be the life of your child again. You weren’t stupid — the moment Katsuki mentioned your safety specifically being threatened you knew who had put the hit out on you, and he wanted you to know.

It was your father’s way of warning you that if you even thought of exposing that you were his daughter that ‘went missing’,or tell them what he had done, you and Ryu will never know peace again. The knowledge that you were in his sights again and he still was just as ruthless as ever couldn’t even fully register in your brain, but you knew you had to do something. This was your baby’s life that was in danger again, and this time he isn’t living inside of you so you could have him with you at all times. You didn’t even know how to have this conversation with Katsuki when he didn’t even have the decency to tell you there was someone after your son while he sat in school. In fact, you were doing your best to avoid his presence so you didn’t cause a scene and scare Ryu half to death.

And your mother had the fucking ability to help you, and she decided this was the time to wave the white flag to involving herself in you and your father’s war.

“This isn’t something that I can tell you and your father not disown me too for, Y/N! Do you really expect me to risk my life too?” Your mother responded, and your grip on the phone tightened so much that you weren’t sure how much longer you’d have before it shattered.

“Yes! I expect you to risk your life for me, mom! I expect you to be a mother for just one damn moment in your life to save your grandson! If you can’t tell me what he knows and what you’ve told him, this will not only get ugly for him, but for you too!” You threatened with full intention of making it a reality.

“I can-“ as she spoke you heard a male voice in the background that made your heart sink to the bottom of your stomach before the phone went dead.

You paced the floor with a hand over your mouth to keep from screaming with Ryu napping in the other room, but this situation could only be fully resolved with risks being taken. The company you put blood sweat and tears into — you had long since realized you never wanted to start an entire company, but it was the best thing you knew how to do to make money to give your son the life he deserved — was going to have to be put in jeopardy. Your life, and more importantly your son’s life, would be in immediate danger once you decide to wage this war.

It’s father against daughter, and loser loses everything.

“You were really going to go through this again alone? You really piss me off sometimes.”

You whirled around to the door of the guest bedroom you were in to see not only Katsuki, but Eiji also standing there. It didn’t shock you in the slightest how pissed Katsuki looked, but Kirishima’s deathly stare had you frozen in place. Even though you knew in the back of your mind that their anger was towards your father, you couldn’t help but feel weak when two very famous pro heroes had their murderous gazes on full display for you.

“You don’t have to worry,” Kirishima said and flashed you a hardened arm. “No one is going to touch you or Ryu on my watch.”

Katsuki grunted, “I’ll kill anyone that tries.”

(A\N: So who’s ready to see full on angst, romance, and a badass reader? Cause I am ^_^! Also the amount of love and insight you guys give me on this story is insane and I still can’t than you enough 🥺 I hope you enjoy! <3

Taglist (Closed) <3 : @fandomgirllover @cloudsgathering @that-bipolar-renegade-romantic @jazzylove @that-chick212 @bonbonthedragon @misssugarless @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @bakugous-bakahoe @pinkykookie17 @animexholic @arielting @samkysnks @simpforeveryone @damnirina @deneuves @tsumuuumiyaaaa @vintage-teddyxo @regalmigraine @samvmgh @iamagalaxy @officialtrashbusiness @xwackk @videogameboiwhowins @marajillana @ellasdilemma @plutoneu @saucey-kneecapzz42020 @thestarsanctuary @dewdropwifu @star-light-imagines @kritiiiii @bakugosbottombitch @the2ndl @candybabey @simply-not-the-same @sam-i-am-1025 @mes-bisous @eternallyvenus @peppytine @chaelysian @definitely-yours @oikawarc @suneaterofthebig3 @m0na-l0ver @nkb0048 @losertsukki i @notyourfavorlte @caramelsquares @hikaru-mikazuki

[vanillann]

tell your mom (draco malfoy x reader)

here a random emotional piece inspired by another song, also sorry i stopped writing for a second i had so much school work

word count: 1.0 k

warning: poorly done angst

inspired by “tell your mom” by georgia webster

Dear (Y/N),

I’m sorry I haven’t written in some time, I’ve been busy with some family business. Draco's father has his hearing tomorrow so things at the Manor are more boring than ever. Draco and you should visit, I haven’t seen you both since the engagement.

Sincerely. Narcissa

I slammed the letter onto the small coffee table before me, tears slipping from my eyes as my heart slammed against my ribs.

I’m going to kill him. who doesn’t tell their mother they called off their engagement. I wasn’t thinking clearly as I slipped the closest pair of shoes I could find, anger-filled me as I found my Floo powder.

“Draco’s Apartment.”

It was weird even saying his name, standing in this fireplace going back to that stupid apartment I couldn’t dare go back to until now.

I didn’t care to warn him, as I got no warning with the letter from his mother. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to speak to his mother, I missed his mother more than anything, but I couldn’t do it. Not anymore I suppose.

I finally landed from the floo, the rough smell of liquor hit my nose before I could prepare myself. The place was covered with empty bottles and messy furniture. Suddenly the door to his bedroom swung open, a taller dark skin girl walked out.

She was classy in her walk and didn’t seem to care I was stand in the living room while she was still buttoning her top. “He’s all yours, careful he cries after.”

She waved to me, one I returned out of shock, and walked from the apartment into the streets. I waited for a second, trying to regain the anger when I saw it. There in the trash was our engagement photo, throw away as if it was nothing.

That anger I was trying so hard to regain came back full force, bouncing on the balls of my feet before charging at the bedroom door. I didn’t knock nor announced myself before walking into the room.

He laid across the bed, his joggers on but no shirt as he groaned.

“I already said-”

He looked up from his lap, his red-rimmed eye caught sight of me in a flash. I thought his jaw tense, the image of me standing in his room was enough to set him off.

I drew the letter from my coat pocket and threw it at him, his shock moving from me to the paper that sat on his floor with all his shirts and bottles of rum.

He picked it up slowly as if he moved too fast I’d be gone but he knew I wasn’t that easy to get rid of. I looked around the room in shock, how could someone like Draco live in this pigpen.

“I-Uhm.”

“Who doesn’t tell their mother they called off their engagement,” I was past being pissed, because this had to happen when I was getting over it.

I was done with the crying and looking at old photos, I was better and then he had to ruin it by not telling his sweet dear mother that he ruined it with a few simple words.

“I Uhm, she just liked you so much-”

“Apparently she likes me more than you ever did,” I grabbed the letter from his thin finger, tapping my foot against the hardwood floor.

“That’s not fair (Y/N),” he looked up at me through his long lashes, obviously pisssed but he didn’t have the right.

“What’s not fair is I was finally getting my life together and this shows up and my door.”

I held the letter in the air, waiting for some sad lie that I would believe because I always did and I’d go back to crying and feeling heartbroken over the fact that the only man I ever loved didn’t love me back.

“What isn’t fair is I haven’t even started feeling better than you floo into my house without permission,” Draco barked back, looking at me as if I killed his favorite pet fish.

“You can’t talk, you ended things with me!”

“Because I was overwhelmed!”

He pulled himself from the bed so fast, I thought he’d have whiplash but he seemed perfectly fine as he jabbed his pointer finger into my chest.

“I went from never hearing the word I love you, to hearing every time I woke up. I was overwhelmed so I ended things,” his grey eyes seemed to look down into my broken battered soul as he waited for me to forgive him and comfort him.

“You should have told me, we could have slowed down whenever you needed, but you walked away first.”

My words weren’t what he wanted to hear and he turned back from me to the dresser on the other side of the room.

“I’m sorry about the letter, don’t expect to hear from us again.”

His words were cold and heartless, and I couldn’t tell if I was mad he didn’t seem to care or hurt that it was really over.

It was over for weeks now, but now it was real. He wouldn’t show up at my door telling me he still loved me and he wanted to make this work.

Because Draco Malfoy doesn’t come back, he stays in the same place he has his whole life and deals with it.

That broke my heart more than the ruined engagement itself.

“Good,” my words were harsh, tucking the letter in my pocket and turning to leave and head back to my apartment.

“Please tell me you’re hurting as much as I am,” Draco's words were soft and delicate, opposite of them a second ago.

I stood in my place for a second, wondering how I handle this. Do I lie and make it seem I’ve been doing good? Do I tell him the truth and admit I can barely live without him?

“I’m surviving, but I would have liked it better living with you.”

I took my leave, not daring to look back at the past I had to throw out. He wasn’t my fiancé anymore, he was a boy with a ring and I was someone with an empty ring finger.

harry potter general tag list:

@siriusmaraudeers @haphazardhufflepuff @marauder-exe

draco malfoy tag list:

@okaydraco @coldlilheart @starcross16

[trulivin]

Not What Everyone Thinks

A/N: Yay I got another one done! LOL. Anyways, to the nonny who requested, I hope you enjoy. I hope I did a decent job at portraying Rafe. He’s more down to earth in this one so I don’t know if I like it too much. We’ll see. I rewatched OBX and like I’m telling you he is ten times fucked up than he is in here. Pardon my language, but hopefully you all will forgive me if he isn’t really like how he is in the show. Anyways, enjoy, send feedback, like, comment, etc.

Rafe Cameron x Reader, Outer Banks

Warnings: implied sexual innuendos? uhhh language. That’s it.

*gif isn’t mine*

Upon the request of Sarah Cameron, Y/N was enlisted to help decorate her mansion for her birthday party. She tried roping the rest of the Pogues into it, and Kie was originally going to help but was needed elsewhere at the time, and the boys opted out. Even John B. 

“Sorry sweetheart,” he had said with a peck on the cheek. “Whatever,” Sarah rolled her eyes and turned back to Y/N. “Fineeeee,” Y/N sighed, earning a hug. 

So, when the day finally arrived Y/N found herself walking up to the oh-so-familiar house she had spent many days with Sarah in. 

Y/N was essentially a Kook by blood, but, much like Kie, she chose to hang out with the Pogues, much to her mother’s disappointment. Sarah Cameron, however, had been her best friend growing up and remained a very good friend even when Y/N started hanging out with John B’s crew. 

For Y/N, she stayed out of the whole Kook versus Pogue thing. It was never something she, quite frankly, wanted to be involved in and she was thankful neither sides made her pick. It was absolutely ridiculous that the boys were constantly getting into fights. And, it was especially annoying when Rafe Cameron always decided to mess with JJ, John B, or Pope all the time. 

Y/N never understood why he did it. She had known him her whole life becoming friends even, because of Sarah, and then she saw what drugs did to him. It was quite depressing to watch, so Y/N didn’t and went to hang out with the Pogues instead.

Luckily, though, that didn’t mean she wasn’t allowed on Tanneyhill anymore. Especially now that Sarah had to decorate the entire mansion. 

“You’re a lifesaver,” Sarah said, opening the door for her. “I know,” Y/N laughed. Sarah playfully rolled her eyes and shoved her friend a bit before the two started their job. 

Y/N and Sarah were in the middle of stringing lights when she heard two approaching voices arguing down the hall. “Tonight is your sister’s birthday! Do not screw this up, Rafe! I’m sick of your inability to get anything done around here. You are almost twenty years old, it’s time to get it together son,” Ward chastised. 

“I told you, I’d get it!” Rafe argued back. “When?” Ward asked, extremely annoyed. “If I recall you were supposed to get the new parts ordered last week!”

“I know, but I swear I--” Rafe started but was cut off. 

“Save it. I don’t want to hear it anymore. I have to help get everything in order tonight. Just get it done,” Ward spat, before crossing the living room. Sarah and Y/N exchanged nervous glances before Sarah’s mouth turned up into a grin. “Sorry you had to hear that,” Sarah giggled quietly before stepping down the ladder. “It’s fine,” the other girl smiled back.

“I have to go grab more lights, you good?” she asked. “Yep all good here,” Y/N said standing up on her toes a bit. 

As Y/N was focusing on trying not to fall off the ladder, she heard Sarah say, “Shouldn’t have taken that money to buy that stupid bike.” “Piss off Sarah,” Rafe snarled as Sarah laughed all the way down the hall. 

“What the hell are you doing?” Rafe snapped at Y/N. “Putting up lights. What does it look like genius?” Y/N bit back, making a face, but not turning to face the pissed-off Kook. “I don’t recall Pogues being allowed in the house,” he hissed. 

Y/N turned to face him. Rafe was glaring at her. Instead of cowering away from him, like most people do, she glared right back. “If you do recall Rafe, I was once a Kook. I practically lived here my entire childhood,” Y/N hissed. 

“Yeah well that was until you and my sister ran off with the island trash,” Rafe spat. Y/N just glared at Sarah’s brother. Truth be told, a long time ago, the two actually liked each other when they were friends. They were only two years apart in age, and yeah, Y/N was his little sister’s friend, but she was one he never minded. At least until she ran off with the Pogues. 

“Why do you have to act like this?” Y/N asked, catching Rafe off guard. “What?” Rafe replied. 

“Why do you act like such a dick? We were friends once you know,” she said. 

“I’m not a dick,” Rafe scoffed, his anger subsiding a bit. Y/N snorted, “Yeah, you are. And you’re a big baby too, oh my god.” 

“Oh shut the hell up, Y/N,” Rafe grunted, slumping in the lounge chair. Y/N giggled hopping down from the ladder and moving to the balcony that overlooked the room. Her new position also happened to be nearly right in front of the moody boy. 

Rafe glanced up from messing with his shirt as Y/N placed the ladder a few feet from him. He found his eyes wandering up her legs and to the skin that showed when she reached up to hang the lights across the railing. “You’re staring,” Y/N sing-songed, not looking away from what she was doing.

Rafe felt his face heat up. He was still of the male species after all. It didn’t matter how out of it he was or how angry he was: he still had eyes. 

Y/N let out another laugh, and glanced back down at him. Rafe was no longer staring at her but was extremely occupied messing with his sleeves. She watched his ring-clad fingers bunch the material up his toned, tanned arms, and found herself staring this time. 

His vineyard-vines button up fit perfectly across his broad shoulders and muscular arms. It was also fitted so perfectly that you could almost see the outline of his abs through the material. Y/N felt as though the room got quite hot even with the air conditioning on. 

Ever since she met Sarah, she always thought her older brother was attractive. There was something about him that caught Y/N’s eye. The best part was that she knew the real Rafe too. The one who wasn’t on drugs and acting like an idiot. Maybe that’s what always made her so intrigued by him. 

But, alas, he still acted out which stopped her from hanging around him. Yet, that still didn’t mean he wasn’t extremely hot for a Kook.

“Please stop rolling your shirt sleeves up, I am trying to focus here,” Y/N mumbled before she could even think. Rafe instantly froze and locked eyes with the girl on the ladder. He noticed how one arm was holding on to the railing while the other hung by her side. Her shirt was also still noticeably bunched up, and Y/N’s eyes were also partially blown. 

“Now who’s the one staring?” Rafe smirked, a hint of his old self in his voice. Y/N snapped out of her daze, rolling her eyes. “Hush,” she said, turning back to the last string of lights. 

Y/N finally finished and hopped down, Rafe following her every movement. “Listen,” Y/N started, standing in front of him, “You were a decent person before the drugs. This isn’t the way to get your dad’s attention.”

“You don’t know shit,” he snapped, his anger flaring again as he looked up at her. 

“Oh stop yelling at me, I don’t care what you think. I just know you weren’t like this,” Y/N rolled her eyes. “Rafe, you and I used to be friends.”

“Yeah, until you ran off with those damn Pogues!” Rafe shouted.

“God! Enough with the whole Kooks versus Pogues shit! What does it matter? My parents are Kooks! I’m a Kook! So what? It’s the person, Rafe, not their social status. Sarah gets it! But that’s not even the problem! You’re the problem,” Y/N snapped. 

“Do you really want to associate yourself with a bunch of lunatics who put guns to peoples’ heads when they feel like it?”

“Rafe, Topper was drowning John B! What the hell was JJ supposed to do? Let his best friend die? Tell me this! If it were the other way around, would you have pulled the gun?” Y/N groaned. 

Rafe didn’t answer this time, but just stared up at her. He really only thought about her question for a second before studying her face. Her pupils were still slightly dilated yet he could see her sincerity as well.  

“Exactly,” she huffed. “Look, I’ve known you for so long,” she said softly, “You aren’t the bad guy. Drugs mess people up, Rafe. And it sure as hell won’t get your father’s attention the way you want it.”

Rafe was shocked to hear what she was saying, but he pulled his gaze away from her hard one. “I--I really don’t know what else to do though,” Rafe finally spoke, refusing to look at her. Y/N closed her eyes for a second taking a breath. “You can start by being present for your sister’s birthday party tonight. And not shitfaced and present, or on crack and present. Sober,” Y/N suggested, firmly. 

“Wow, you two on speaking terms again?” Sarah’s voice cut in as she strutted in the room. Y/N turned her attention to her friend and rolled her eyes, her normal relaxed look slipping back on her face. “If you count arguing,” she laughed as she took the lights from Sarah. 

“Oh of course,” Sarah shot back with a wink. Rafe watched Y/N as she and his sister laughed and joked with each other. To say he missed the easy-going conversations with Y/N was an understatement. He always found it was so simple to talk to her. She would never judge and would always somehow say the right thing. 

But, unfortunately, as he began working with his father more, Rafe found himself trying to impress Ward in any way he could to make his father proud. In the midst of all of that, Rafe managed to push her away and go down an even darker path. 

“Well, I will see you tonight, birthday girl,” Y/N said snapping Rafe out of his thoughts. “Thank you for helping me set up,” Sarah smiled. “Oh and tell your mother she does not need to bring me any gifts tonight!”

“No promises,” Y/N said, giving her friend a hug. “You know how she is at parties.” 

“I know,” Sarah rolled her eyes. “The whole island is going to be here tonight I swear. Leave it to Rose to throw a huge party. It’s like Midsummers came early.”

“It’s your seventeenth birthday. It’s a big deal. Just enjoy the attention,” Y/N giggled as she headed for the exit. “Bye Rafe!” she called down the hall. Rafe put a lazy hand up as he heard the door slam shut. He was still lost in thought over everything Y/N had just told him. 

“Shouldn’t you be getting those parts dad wants?” Sarah asked her brother with her hand on her hip. “Mind your damn business Sarah,” Rafe snapped. 

Sarah glared at her brother before rolling her eyes. “Whatever,” she responded, turning on her heel, leaving Rafe all alone. 

At 6:30, Y/N stood in front of her mirror with a horrified expression. “Why do I have to wear this mom?” she groaned. Her mother had decided it would be a good idea to wear a light pink dress with a neckline for a prude. “This is a party, not a church service!” Y/N complained.

“The dress is gorgeous sweetheart, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Y/M/N replied. Y/N studied herself in the mirror for a moment. 

“I’m not wearing this,” Y/N concluded. 

“Yes, you are, Y/N,” her mom said strictly. “You’ve been running around with those street rats for too long. A bunch of your father’s business partners and their families will be attending Sarah’s party tonight. You need to look your best.” 

“But mom,” Y/N whined, “It’s still a seventeen year old’s birthday party. Not some business thing!” 

“Y/N, you are going to wear that and that’s final. You can wear whatever you want when Sarah throws her own party for a bunch of idiotic teenagers,” her mother said before walking out of her room. 

At least this stupid thing goes above my knees, Y/N thought to herself before following after her mother. 

“You ready?” Y/N’s dad asked as the two girls walked into the kitchen. Y/N’s father turned to his daughter and stifled a laugh. “Wow, sweetheart.” Y/N groaned and buried her face in her hands. “MOM!” she groaned. “No, let’s go.” 

When they arrived at Tanneyhill, Y/N slunk through the crowd hoping no one would notice her. She had a feeling her mother might pull something like this so she stashed other clothes in Sarah’s room. 

Y/N caught a glimpse of JJ’s blond hair and ducked behind a person. She wouldn’t hear the end of it if he saw her in a dress like this. The man she was hiding behind turned around giving her a questioning look. “Oh hi Mr. Daniels,” Y/N smiled sheepishly, straightening herself out and ducking behind another person. Fortunately for her, she made it out of the crowded room and to the steps leading upstairs. 

Just as she began her ascent a voice rang out from behind her, “Oh my god. What the hell are you wearing?” JJ cackled. Y/N closed her eyes and turned around slowly. “Har har guys,” she glared at all of her friends crowded around the steps. Both Sarah and Kie had nice casual dresses on while the boys wore what they would typically wear. Except JJ was in an actual t-shirt rather than one his tank tops. 

“Oh shut up I know I look like Peppa Pig. Blame it on my mother,” Y/N said sourly. “I’m going to change.”

“Hahahahahaha!” they all cackled. Sarah finally calmed down, pretending to wipe her eyes from her tears of laughter. “Let her go change,” she said, “c’mon.” Y/N shot her a grateful smile before they shuffled away. 

Just as Y/N was about to get into Sarah’s room, however, she heard a door close down the hall, and looked up to see Rafe approaching her with a shit-eating grin. He was still wearing what he had on that afternoon. 

“Just shut up, don’t say anything,” Y/N pinched the bridge of her nose. Rafe burst out laughing and Y/N’s face flushed. He was the last person she wanted to see while she was still wearing this damn dress. If she wasn’t so irritated right now, she would have even been happy to hear Rafe laughing so care-free. 

“Why are you wearing that? Holy shit!” he continued to laugh. “You look like Little Bo Peep just with your knees showing!” 

“Go awayyyyyy,” Y/N whined, banging her head on the door. Rafe put his hands up in surrender. “Fine, fine,” he grinned walking past her. “But if I’m going to this party, you have to show back up too,” he called before disappearing down the steps.

Y/N stood there in mild shock. Rafe wasn’t angry or wasted. He was just Rafe. 

Shaking herself out of her little daze, Y/N hurried into Sarah’s room and found her ripped jeans and black tank top. “Thank the lord,” she muttered to herself before stripping. 

Downstairs, Rafe gulped nervously trying to shake that urge for cocaine. It was his safety net that took his mind off the disappointment in his father’s eyes. He had almost done it though. Almost. Right before he came downstairs actually. But something told him not to. Well, someone really. Y/N’s words echoed in his mind from earlier. He noticed when she mentioned the word ‘drug’ she almost had that same look of disappointment in her eyes. And god, she was the last person he wanted to disappoint, for some reason. 

So, he didn’t do it. 

But, he still made a beeline for the adult drink table. Y/N would still drink if she could. Not shitfaced, but still, he thought to himself. Luckily, Rafe had managed to get through, sober, the whole awkward “you’re here” conversation with his dad too, so his drink was well-deserved. 

Rafe stood there allowing his eyes to wander all over the room. He saw Topper was trying to talk to Sarah again about her dating choices. “Idiot,” he muttered into his glass. 

Kelce was flirting with one of Sarah’s friends, a lot of the men, including his father, were huddled in the corner talking about some business thing while the women were gossiping about something, the Pogues were looking wildly out of place and little uncomfortable, keeping to themselves since Sarah was busy talking with Topper, and the rest of the people were breaking off into little groups talking amongst themselves.

This is stupid why am I even here, Rafe thought before his gaze caught Y/N’s figure. She had obviously changed into something more her style. 

Rafe’s eyes followed her beautiful hair that fell over her shoulders and down her back, across the skin revealed by deep cut in the back of her top. He let his eyes linger on her butt for a moment longer, before trailing them down her toned, jean-clad legs and to the floor. 

She was far hotter than he remembered. When did she grow up? 

Sighing, Rafe brought his eyes back up to her face and frowned when he saw a scowl on hers. He liked her much better when she was laughing like this afternoon. She appeared arguing with her mom who was gesturing up and down to her outfit. 

“That neckline is cut way too low, Y/N!” her mother hissed. “So what?” Y/N flung her hands in the air, annoyed. 

“That’s too inappropriate!” 

“I don’t care! It’s a birthday party! Plus! I can actually breathe right now! That neckline was too high!” 

“It was perfect!” 

“No!”

“Y/N!”

“I’m not having this conversation at my friend’s birthday party,” Y/N shook her head, rolling her eyes and pushing her way past her mom. She slipped through the crowd and disappeared out the back into the night.

Rafe watched as her mother went right back to her group of ladies and began complaining about her daughter. Ah, yes, he was very familiar with that one. His father had pulled that on him so many times. 

He sighed before pushing off his spot on the wall and grabbing one of the extra bottles of wine from under the table and followed Y/N through the door she just went out. 

Y/N sat at the end of the dock furiously picking some of the wood that was splintering. “I just wanted to enjoy my friend’s birthday party but NO! Always have to be the perfect little daughter you want me to be,” she mumbled to herself. “Just so I don’t mess up the stupid little reputation on this damn island.” Y/N groaned, allowing her anger to get the best of her.

“Well guess what?” she finally shouted, “I’m going to get off this damn island one day so I don’t have to put up with this bullshit anymore! How about that?” Y/N felt better yelling into the darkness. 

“If you leave then can I come too?” a familiar voice said in the darkness. Y/N whirled around in bewilderment and found Rafe standing a little ways off with a hand in a pocket and the other gripping a bottle of alcohol. Y/N’s face softened as he sat down beside her, handing her the bottle of wine. 

“You looked like you needed this,” he said. 

“Thanks,” she responded before putting the bottle to her lips. She sighed as the wine seemed to warm her body up and already started washing her irritation away. Y/N also became hyper-aware of how close Rafe was sitting next to her. Their arms were slightly pressed against one another. 

“It’s ironic you know,” Rafe started, “You lecture me about getting my father’s attention, but here you are pouting about your mother.” He let out a laugh. “Yes, yes it’s all very funny. She just expects me to be this perfect little Kook daughter and wear pretty colors and go shopping or some shit,” Y/N ranted. 

Rafe listened patiently until she finally let out a huff. 

“Well, you know, in your mother’s defense, you still looked good in that dress,” Rafe spoke after a moment still looking out at the star-covered marsh. Y/N snorted, passing him the bottle. “Oh please. I looked like Peppa Pig.”

“Yes, you did,” Rafe laughed a bit. “But still a pretty Peppa.”

Y/N felt her face go warm again at his compliment. They hadn’t spoken like this in years. Y/N remembered how kind Rafe could really be. She was devastated when he did a 180 and lashed out at everyone he cared about. Yet, could she really blame him? She saw how hard he worked to impress Ward, but his father still dubbed him incompetent. And yes, Rafe did some stupid stuff, but don’t all teenage boys?

“Thanks,” she smiled as he handed her back the bottle. They sat in silence for a while, listening to the small lapping of water and passing the bottle back and forth. 

“I’m surprised you aren’t scolding me for drinking,” Rafe sighed after a bit. “I never said you couldn’t drink when you got to the party. Just not before,” Y/N specified. “Oh right,” Rafe said. 

“I’m glad you came,” Y/N said quietly, turning to look at him. Rafe felt her gaze on him and turned to face her too. “Why?” he asked. Y/N shrugged a bit and looked down at her hands. “I don’t know really. I guess it was just nice talking to you today,” she said.

“We argued more than talked, you know,” Rafe grinned as she looked back up at him rolling her eyes playfully. “Well of course,” she smirked. “Who would we be if we didn’t argue all the time. Remember when we argued that whole ride up to the mainland with your dad and Sarah?”

“How can I not?” Rafe laughed. “You were so mad you turned bright red.”

Y/N burst out in a fit of giggles, and Rafe couldn’t help but find himself smiling harder at the gorgeous sound. 

Eventually, their laughs died down and they both stared out into the night sky. “This is what I was talking about earlier, you know,” Y/N said, breaking the silence again. “What?” Rafe was puzzled. 

“When I said that you weren’t the bad guy,” she mumbled. 

“You’re the opposite actually,” Y/N said more firmly, looking back up at him. He watched her, thoughtfully, as she continued, “I mean look how much fun we’re having. Yes, we’re drinking, but we aren’t completely wasted, and you aren’t high right now. You’re you again.”

“I can’t shake it though,” he replied quietly. “I know it’s hard, but there are ways to fix it,” Y/N said. 

Rafe didn’t say anything as he looked into her dark eyes. Through the darkness, he saw a flash of pain dance through her eyes. He hadn’t realized their faces had gotten extremely closer. “Rafe,” she practically whispered. He felt her breath fan over his lips. “You don’t have to do drugs to get Ward’s attention. You’re better than that.” 

Y/N finished speaking as their noses brushed up against one another. She heard her friends’ voices in her head, the voice that told her Rafe couldn’t just up and quit, but she didn’t care. His arm behind her locked her in and his skin burned on her back. She knew she shouldn’t, but she did anyway. 

With a slight tilt of her head, her lips met his in the night. Y/N’s body turned more towards him as he returned the kiss immediately. It was a slow burn that started in her chest and spread throughout her body as his soft lips melted with hers. 

Y/N felt Rafe gently tug at her bottom lip, eliciting a soft moan from her. He instantly gripped her hips and pulled her on top of him allowing his tongue to explore her mouth. 

Inside, Sarah was wandering around looking for her friend. “Have you seen Y/N?” Sarah asked John B after looking around for her for the past ten minutes. “Nope,” John B shrugged and went back to trying to throw shrimp in JJ’s mouth. “Boys,” she rolled her eyes and went to the back door. 

Sarah stepped outside and squinted down the dock. It was fairly dark, but the moon granted her some light. A weird looking silhouette broke the moonlight a bit and Sarah called, “Y/N?” The dark blob split into two figures and Sarah heard a faint, “shit!” 

“Well that’s new,” she laughed when she realized the voice belonged to her brother. “Ok never mind!” Sarah called before ducking back inside. 

“Shit,” Y/N cursed, slipping the straps of her tank top and bra back up. 

“Oops,” Rafe laughed from beside her. 

“We should probably go back inside,” Y/N giggled a bit before standing up. “Or we could, y’know,” Rafe smirked, sitting up on his knees and pushing up her shirt a bit planting wet kisses on her stomach. Y/N resisted the urge to moan and tugged him up. 

“I can’t ditch your sister’s party as much as I really...really, want too…” she half moaned looking up at Rafe as he bit his lip and raked his eyes shamelessly all over her body. 

His mouth quirked up and then he burst out laughing, “Wow. How the tables have turned.” “Shut up,” she said, shoving him out of the way playfully. 

“Oh don’t be such a baby,” he shot back at her with a grin. Rafe caught up and slung an arm around Y/N as they started walking back towards the house. “Rafe,” Y/N said with a serious tone, stopping before they started up the lawn. He looked down at her nervously, afraid this moment would be ruined and it somehow would be his fault. 

Y/N took a deep breath and faced him. “I can only do this if you can promise me you’ll stop.” 

He knew what she meant. He felt the itch rise again, but easily pushed it away as he looked into her nervous eyes. He didn’t know what to do. Rafe knew he wanted her. God he wanted her so bad, but he didn’t know if it would be enough. “I-I don’t know,” he finally said. 

Y/N’s face fell slightly, but he quickly caught himself, “I don’t know if it’ll be that easy. Believe me, for you, I want to so bad. But the reality of it…” his words died in his mouth. This was the most sober Y/N had seen him yet. 

“Of course. I know how hard it would be and I’m not blaming you for that,” she said with a small smile returning to her face. “Please help me,” Rafe finally broke, bending down and wrapping his arms around her. 

Y/N stood on her toes and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and tall frame as the wave of emotion passed over him. “Shhhh. I promise you I will,” Y/N whispered in his ear. “I want to make this right,” he said softly. 

“You will, Rafe. You will.”

__________________________________________________

Wow so proud of myself that I actually finished this tonight. Hope everyone liked it! 

[exelynclaire03]

The Unforgettable Memory of 1 year-old-kid

               When I was a 1 year old kid my mom go to other country to work there even its hard to her to leave but she have no choice to work there for the sake of family cause we just poor at that time they cant provide what we needed even small things so they decided that mom gonna go work then dad gonna take care of us. I’m daddy’s girl. Dad do everything just to take care of us with my brother, he is mom and dad to us. He is a good father and good man too. Mom sent us money every month so that we have allowance and eat a delicious food. Dad take us in restaurant and go to school give us a snacks, he is the best father to us.3 years ago mom came home my brother didn’t recognize her cause he just 8 months when mom leave us. When mom came it bring back the vibes we are a happy family, go together to church and eat together in one table with a happy face with it. That was the best memories in my life but I didn’t know that it gonna be the last meal I had with a complete family cause when mom go back to other country dad go everywhere to do smoke and drink alcohol and got addicted to it. We try to stop him for his tantrum but he didn’t listen. His work is tricycle driver but every night when he go home he is drunk. Then we eat in our neighbor every morning til dinner and sometimes we eat to dad’s mom, even the dish we have is vinegar and salt we already happy with it. Also when have a school in morning dad prepare us a milk and bread only then after finishing it we gonna go school and easily get hungry. We didn’t know what the reason why dad changed when mom came home, as being kid at that situation is so hard experience to me but we keep strong. Early get matured because of our experience in life cause we find a plastic bottles or cans before in trash so that we gonna sale it and buy food. Dad join play card and cockfight then he have many debt everywhere. Mom money sent us he wasted it to his vice. I kinda angry with him cause he spent money to not good porpuse instead of spending it in vice he buy instead for food to his children. When mom know that she want a break up but they fix instead for us but still dad continue what he doing, he said lies to mom so that mom gonna sent money but the truth he need it to pay his debt. When mom know that at age of seven again they totally break up then we go to mom’s dad house to live there with my brother. Our life that time is full of tears and pain cause we just a kid that need a time and attention to our family. When we grew up with my brother our lesson learn is to forgive people and accept what is in our present today and be contented on it. In my present I am so happy with my life now sometimes dad visit us is my happiness then mom go home once a year is my happiness too cause we go for vacation to build a happy memories. I was still thankful that I have a mom and dad even they are not in our side cause even they are not here I know they love me and my brother so much cause without them we are not in this wonderful world. Many struggles we experience but that problem is a lesson learn to us and bring us to a good journey. In God name I want to be successful someday then build a beautiful family and simple life the important we are complete and happy. So for those who have complete family treasure it cause you got so lucky to have them in your side to love you and to support you no matter what the situation is.

[thebountyfucker]

The Royal Affair - A Choose Your Own Prince Fic

18+ ONLY - NSFW

I wanted to try an experiment where I wrote a story with two parallel branches so readers could choose which character they wanted to read without me writing two separate fics! Let me know what you think! (Subject to more parts!)

Embo x AFAB!Reader or Cad Bane x AFAB!Reader

Tags/CW: Threats of violence/assault, embarrassment

Here's the link to my masterpost!

Want to be tagged in upcoming fics like this? Here's my taglist application!!

You eased up to the table, smiling despite yourself, and bowed your head. You didn’t say anything to them, as per the instructions from your boss, and carefully handed out the flutes of champagne. The royals prattled on in Durese, hardly paying you any mind, though the Prince did cast a glance up at you from the periphery of his vision. You bowed your head once more, and turned to leave.

-

You had never been more nervous in your life than you were now; with a tray of champagne flutes balanced in your hand, and the heel on your left shoe coming loose, you had to put the entirety of your focus onto your task at hand. It was a simple one, really - deliver the drinks to the Duros royal family, bow, and return back to the kitchen to fetch hors d'oeuvres. Simple. Easy. Yet the wobbling in your ankle frightened you. The last thing you needed was to drop the crystal flutes in front of everyone - or worse, on someone.

As you turned, you heard a loud snap, and your ankle buckled and rolled; you went down, your tray clattering to the floor. Conversations around you stopped, and the gazes of three royal families found you collapsed on the floor. A horrified blush crept up on your cheeks as you crawled toward your tray and gathered it up in your arms; you pulled off your shoes and slowly stood, pain blossoming from your ankle. You limped to the back room, and tossed your shoes straight into the garbage.

“What happened to you?” One of your coworkers, a pretty Rutian Twi’lek, asked, glancing down at your now bare feet and rapidly-swelling ankle.

“My fucking heel broke!”

“Oof, tough luck.” She shook her head as she kneeled down and prodded at your ankle. The pain was horrendous, but she didn’t look concerned. “It ain’t broken… I’ll see if I can get a wrap and some new shoes for you.”

“Thank you, Salicia.” You muttered as you sat down, propping your leg up on the seat beside you. Your other coworkers came and went, taking out drinks and snacks, and coming back with dishes and trash. They hardly spared you a glance. There was work to be done and attending to the weak link would only slow it down. You sighed softly as Salicia returned with a bandage and a pair of silken flats.

She sat beside you, gingerly lifting your leg to wrap your ankle. She was gentle, and the pressure of the bandage made it feel instantaneously better. When she had secured it in place, she handed you the pair of flats; colored a vibrant blue, the flats sported a winged lizard embroidered on each of the sides. The slippers clashed with your uniform, but it was better than nothing; you eased them on, and cast Salicia a glance.

“Queen Esmera gave these to me when she saw me asking the other girls. She saw you fall, said these would probably be more comfortable than anything we could offer.” She explained, her lekku tips curling up as she shrugged. “I think she may be fishing for a thank you… so… you might want to go out and tell her.”

“Alright.” You sighed as you stood and brought your tray back to the bar; the bartender noted you with a frown, but knew better than to say anything. “Can you get me seven glasses of your most expensive Phatrongi red? You can… add it to the party’s tab.”

“Did Queen Esmera give you those?” He asked, suspicion heavy in his voice. You glanced down at your shoes and nodded.

“Yep.”

“I suppose the wine is a ‘thank you’ to her.” He muttered, waiting for your nod, before continuing. “And you’re stroking her ego because…?”

“Because it’s the polite thing to do, I guess.” You shrugged, and he shook his head as he poured the thick, purple wine into the glasses.

“Yeah. Polite. And then they turn around and treat you like trash.”

“They’ve been nice to me so far.” You muttered as he helped stack the seven glasses of red wine onto your tray. Your departure toward Queen Esmera’s table was slow-going, as you didn’t want to risk tripping or putting undue stress on your ankle. Your coworkers were careful about not bumping into you, but there were a few close calls.

You made your way toward the Kyuzan Queen, careful to stand a distance away in case she turned her head to regard you; her ostentatious crown, constructed of metals and jewels and silken cloths, was large enough that it could sweep the wine right off your tray. That was the last thing you wanted.

She did, in fact, turn when she noticed you, and you breathed a small sigh of relief as her crown cleared your tray. She offered you a kind, mask-less smile, and you bowed your head respectfully in response.

“Thank you for your kindne-.”

And then it happened. You took a few step closer and the slippers caught on something - likely the queen’s dress. You tripped, and the tray of wine went flying; the wine splashed upon the Queen’s lap and onto the table. The princes and the King jumped back from the table as the wine spread out toward them. Your heart plummeted to the bottom of your chest, and you dropped to your knees at her side.

“I am so sorry.” Tears welled in your eyes. Salicia rushed over with towels, much sooner than you expected, and thrust one at you; she mopped up the table, apologizing to the princes, while you gingerly dabbed at the Queen’s dress. The red wine marred her white and gold gown, and you knew that the stain would never come out. “Please forgive me. Please. I’ll do whatever you want to make it up to you.”

The Queen gingerly patted your head as you dabbed at her gown; the weight of her ring-covered hand was rather comforting, and it did make you feel quite a bit better.

“There, there, Little One.” Her voice was honeyed and velvet-smooth, yet there was an imposing timbre deep beneath it, as if she knew and reveled in the power she had in this situation. “It was an accident, and these things happen. It is okay.”

“It is not okay!” The King’s booming voice startled you from the calmed stupor the Queen had put you in. Your gaze focused on the Queen’s dress as the party hall went quiet. “This insolent worm ruined your dress!”

“There is no reason to be upset. What is done is done.” Queen Esmera continued to pat your head reassuringly.

“There must be recompense!”

“Enough. You are causing a scene.” Her voice was even and steely, and her husband eased back down into his chair. The waves of rage radiating off the king made your skin crawl - he was one of those kings where the rumors of his temper far outshined any good he had done. There were numerous stories about girls being used and thrown in ditches after minor misdeeds. You hoped your employer would protect you from the likes of him… but that was no certainty. “The dress is ruined. I will call for a maid to bring me another.”

“I’m so sorry.” You repeated, and she tilted your chin up.

“That is enough, Little One. Now run along, okay?” She smiled sweetly, and you got up with your metaphorical tail between your legs. You limped back to the staging room, where you found a bench and collapsed onto it. Tears threatened to spill over, but you rubbed them away with the heels of your hands. You felt so foolish, so demeaned. The worst part of this, though, was that it was all your fault. No royal had made you spill the wine. No royal purposefully tripped you, nor did they break the heel from your shoe. It was your own insolence. You buried your head in your hands, a strangled sob leaving your lips.

Someone sat down on the bench beside you. You figured it was Salicia, until you noticed their scent - it was woodsy and entirely manish. You couldn’t think of anyone you knew who smelled like that. Curious, you spread your fingers open and peeked through them; sitting beside you was one of the Kyuzan Princes - the youngest of the four, whose name, you believed, was Embo. He cast you a glance, his browridge cocked.

“Oh! Uh…” You wiped your eyes on your hands, and then wiped your hands on your skirt. “Hello there, Prince.”

“You are in trouble.” He spoke, his voice unwavering and deeply serious. Your heart skipped a beat, and your stomach dropped.

“W-what?”

“My father is like a jungle cat chasing a rat. In his eyes, you wronged him, and he will not rest until you pay the price.” He explained, his voice low and conspiratory.

“But I didn’t do anything to him!” You squeaked.

“You embarrassed him, and my mother. He believes you made fools of them both before our allies.” Embo explained, his hands laced together and resting on his lap. “I came to offer my help. The last thing I want is for someone undeserving to be left in a ditch to die.”

“But you’re his son. How can I trust you?”

“Just know that I would rather see him dead than let any harm come to you.” He replied, his gold eyes narrowed and a small growl rumbling in his chest. You blinked at him, and then looked down at your hands. “And he knows better than to touch anything I lay claim to. If I tell him you are under my protection, he will not dare bother you.”

“I… wouldn’t want to be a bother.”

“Nonsense. My family keeps a large staff already. We would hardly notice one more.”

Your gaze remained on your hands, your mind running a million miles a minute. If you didn’t take the Prince’s protection, what would happen to you? Would the king stoop to harming you? It seemed that if his own son was worried, the answer was likely yes. So it would be best to go with the prince then. What if he was lying? What if this was all some elaborate ruse to get you into bed with him, or worse?

“I’ll… need time to think.” You replied, your voice shaking.

“Of course. You have until the end of the night.” He got up, dusting off his expensive suit, and disappeared through the door which led back out to the main hall.

You sat there, still trying to process what was going on; the staff around you stared at you, either concerned or shocked that you had gotten so close to the Prince without mention of sexual activities. You glanced at them, before standing.

“I… I need to take a walk.”

No one stopped you as you slipped out the door into the main hall. The royals were all happily conversing, and you noted that Queen Esmera had, indeed, changed her dress. You ducked down the hallway to the front door, desperately needing some fresh air to help clear your head. Ugh, you had a headache.

The guards allowed you outside, and you sat down on the top step to gather your wits. The warm, humid Coruscant air caressed your bare skin, grounding you to reality. The ambience of the thousands of speeders and marching of armor-clad guards drowned out any sounds from the gala itself. You buried your head in your hands once more, just trying to think.

“You’ve got some shit luck tonight.”

You turned toward the intruder, noting that the Duros Prince was approaching; he had a lit cig between his fingers, and he took a long drag.

“First de heel, den sullying Queen Esmera’s dress…” He shook his head as he eased down onto the step beside you. He offered you the cig, but you declined. “What gods did ya anger?”

“I don’t know.” You sighed, shaking your head. Cad leaned back, perching the cig between his lips.

“I assume de big guy already warned ya?”

“About his dad? Yeah.” You answered, your worry rising again; it was one thing to hear about the danger from the King’s son… now you were hearing it from an unrelated royal? Great….

“Den ya know you’ll need t’ low ‘til he comes t’ his sense, right?”

You nodded at this. “Prince Embo offered to let me stay with him.”

“Did he now? Doesn’t seem quite safe t’ be going back to de same home as yer threat.” He mused as he took a drag of his cig. “I came t’ offer de same thing.”

“Why?” You asked, wary of Cad’s intentions.

“Well, King Triakt has no domain over me and my family. And messing wit’ us could end badly fer him.” Cad drawled as he plucked the cig from his lips and flicked the ashes off of the end.

“Seems like a lot of trouble for someone you don’t know.”

“I don’t know ya but dat doesn’t mean I can’t extend some kindness.” He took a long drag of his cig.

“What’s the price?” You asked, watching his lips twitch into a small smirk.

“I don’ know yet. We’ll figure dat out as we go.” Cad smothered the cig beneath his boot. “Whaddya say?”

“I… need to think about it.”

“Sure, sure. When you make up yer mind, come find me.” He winked at you and stood, straightening out his outfit. He sauntered back inside, leaving you alone in your thoughts. Now, you just had to decide who to go with...

-

Who do you choose? Embo or Cad Bane

Tags List: @justanotherstarwarswhore, @doctor-ren, @that-clone-wars-girl, @some-serendipity-snail

[degenerate-otaku]

Au where the androids in trunks time arint evil anymore so the three of them just hang out for the rest of their lives time traveling with trunks to save the day after they realised what their doing is wrong somehow cause we need happier times

Hey! I took this in a slightly different direction since I just go with the flow.

I hope you enjoy it though ♡

******************************************

It had been almost a year since the androids had come to an agreement to end their destruction. In some ways it was an anticlimactic ending to an almost 17 year battle. A part of me still wants to bring Gohan justice by destroying them, but that may just be my Saiyan side. I know that Gohan always did his best to be like his father and forgive others, so maybe he'd understand.

It's been a difficult journey, no doubt about it. To keep the androids happy, as well as the people of earth, who probably have not forgiven 17 and 18 and want nothing more to see them dead, I tend to go out with them, just to make sure there are no problems. The androids have to disguise themselves to not be recognised, which isn't too hard since they are incredibly inconspicuous (apart from 17 perhaps, who seems like the type of kid to be stealing and causing havoc anyway). Usually, it's just a case of them hiding their eyes, since that's how people can recognise them.

“Trunks, you really need to brush up on fashion.” 18 remarked as she sipped at her drink. I snapped out of my thoughts immediately, which often consume me.

“Huh? What do you mean?” I was rather offended by her comment but I kept my face and tone neutral.

“Well...you don't have many outfits...and the ones you do have are...” She looked me up and down and continued, “A little...dated to say the least.”

Before I could respond, 17, who was riding on his skateboard as he slurped at his soda interrupted, “Trunks, you look like that guy from that movie 'Back to the Future'.”

I had no clue on what he meant, since I've never seen that movie, but it seemed like no matter what I would say, they'd always have a comeback.

It had always been like that, so what was I expecting?

“Well, we are right outside a mall.” I knew what she was suggesting immediately.

'How convenient' I thought to myself.

“Sis, your shopping trips take whole days!”

I almost laughed at what 17 had said, but held back.

“Shut up! You spend all day in the arcade like a little kid! Plus, you need new clothes too!” 18 poked her brother in the chest, asserting her authority. It's so strange to see 17 shaken like that. As a kid he seemed unmoved by everything, just like his sister.

“Ugh, whatever.” He sighed, throwing the empty cup of soda in the trash.

Strolling casually within the recently rebuilt mall, which my mother helped to fund, 18 finally found a store that she thought had good items for us.

“This place looks lame!” 17 sneered at all the rather classy looking shirts and pants.

“If you're gonna be a brat, go to Hot Topic!” 18 retorted, pointing to the store she was referencing.

“Bitch, I AM the Hot Topic!” 17 loudly declared, walking off. I wasn't sure on how much money he had. The androids liked living large, and still did so, despite my mother not being so pleased about it. She told me once on how it was like she now had three teenage brats but then she realised I was right there and said that I wasn't a brat, though I know I was when I was younger.

“Now that he's out of the way...” 18 sighed, adjusting her hair, before pulling out a shirt from a rack.

“What do you think?” She asked, holding up a blue T-shirt that said something in Japanese.

“See, you gotta stop hiding those muscles! I've seen them up close and I know normal girls will faint over that, especially with your skin tone.”

My cheeks felt hot when she said that and I began to stammer, “W-well..I don't think it's for me...uh, I...don't like showing my arms.” I looked down at the glossy marble floor, and felt her gaze pierce me.

“What, because of those scars?” She scoffed and I looked up at her, not knowing how to react.

“They aren't that bad. Plus...girls like guys who have feelings and have been through stuff.” I didn't get what she meant.

“For a person who hates humans, you sure do understand them.” I don't know why I said that. She frowned and then just moved on, after putting the blue shirt in the basket, whether I liked it or not.

“So...” She tried to steer the conversation back onto clothes, “What do you like wearing anyway?”

“Well...mostly loose, comfortable stuff.” I answered.

“Yeah, like that sweater and pants you used to wear all the time when you were like...what, 13? 14?”

Why had she remembered that?

“Yeah...I have a lot of those kinda outfits.” She walked along to another aisle and I followed, not noticing that there were a few girls looking at me and giggling.

“What made you pick this one? The whole...jacket and vest combo. You wore a similar thing when we beat your ass a year or two ago...wasn't that in the ruins of this mall?”

I felt pain thinking about that. I was a fool, admittedly for going there to try fight them, but I've grown a lot since then.

“Oh...yeah, the light blue jacket and white shirt...uh, I guess I think it looks cool..especially with the sword-”

“Ughhh, what is it with men and their little toys, I've got my brother with his stupid gun, and you with that sword!” She groaned. “They're pointless!”

“Well...technically, my sword has a point-” I smirked.

“Wow, I thought you were incapable of jokes.” She replied, then pulled out a sweatshirt for me. It was a simple grey colour with a logo on it.

“Girls also like guys who dress casual...but that sorta depends. This and some nice loose jeans would look good on you, though you'd need better shoes.” I was rather astonished at how she was able to make so many combinations and knew what would look good on me, but then I realised something.

“Why do you keep trying to find outfits that would attract girls?”

She rolled her eyes at my question.

“Well, c'mon you're almost an adult and you haven't got a girlfriend! Wait...are you gay?”

I blushed hard. “What? Well, I dunno! I haven't really thought about it...”

“I'm just trying to help you find someone.” She smiled, trying to find a price tag on some shoes.

“Wait a sec, I'll ask someone about this.” She left me standing near the basket and as I fixed my hair in while I looked in the mirror, two girls came up to me.

“Hey, uh, you're cute...can I have your number?” One said and I was unsure of what to say. I didn't want to be rude, but I wasn't sure I wanted to talk to them.

“Well, uh, you see-” My brain suddenly seemed to fail me.

“He's taken.” Suddenly, 18 reappeared and out of nowhere kissed me before dragging me by the arm.

“Hey! What was that?!” The kiss was only for a split second but I was so confused.

“Wait, was I your first kiss?” She laughed.

“N-no!” I folded my arms and didn't look at her directly.

“If I didn't know better you wanted it to last longer, hm?”

“WHAT?!” I exclaimed, losing my cool.

“Hey, I'm just messing with you...I just had to get you out of there-” She picked up the basket and walked over to the queue, her hips swaying prominently

“The kiss was unnecessary!”

“You're the first man ever to reject a kiss from me.” She sounded bewildered and I gave up trying.

We exited the store with two bags of clothes and 17 had a bag of his own stuff too.

“So, mind telling me what that was?” 17 inquired and even 18 blushed a little.

"Aww, what an adorable couple!“ He mocked, laughing hard at his own jokes.

”Shut it, bonehead! That meant nothing!“ She scolded him and I don't know why I felt hurt by that.

”I was just trying to make him look good for once, but I really couldn't care less!“ She continued and I wondered if she had even meant what she said about my scars.

For the rest of the day I couldn't stop thinking about that moment. It's stupid of me, I know. I'm so fucking awkward I can't handle a girl talking to me, and when a person I hated growing up does it to me, I want it to happen again, to feel that kinda jolt down my body.

But I guess I won't.

[astoria00]

Retribution tastes so Sweet

Retribution tastes so Sweet

Neo was more than relieved when they finally reached the outskirts of Wind Path.

Jumping swiftly from the sleigh that carried Cinder and her, she smiled a fake smile to the driver.

It had been pure luck that they had found a lumberjack deep in the forest they had traveled into to get away from the Brunswick farms.

‘…Brunswick…’

She knew that name…

Where had she heard it before?

Since escaping those nightmarish Grimm Neo had been a little bit more on edge than usual.

‘Apathy.’

That’s what Cinder called them.

The shorter girl wasn’t as knowledgeable about the different kinds of grimm as her companion was, but for all the monsters, faunus and humans she had fought, nothing had felt as horrible as these Apathy.

The moment all of her fight and willpower had left her, this awful feeling of being abandoned…all alone in the world.

Just like the time she had realized Roman was dead…

And not only that…

Side-eying Cinder from her spot, as she paid the lumberjack some lien to help him forget he ever encountered them, she had to suppress a shudder.

Neo couldn’t help but remember how terrifying the maiden had appeared, how dangerous the golden like aura around her had sparked menacingly all over her body…even her left arm.

And shouldn’t that have been impossible?

Was Cinder now more grimm than human?

Had these horrible powers slumbered inside her all along or were they a recent addition?

She should probably leave.

Who knew what else would happen if she stuck around with the maiden…

This Salem was no one to be trifled with. Of course she had already known that, but this exceeded everything she could have imagined.

Being able to sway and control another being was beyond frightening and furthermore she probably wouldn’t stop. Traveling with Cinder was bound to be even more dangerous now.

By all means, she should get the hell out of here…

And yet…

Thank you!

She had never seen her companion this…broken before.

And hadn’t that been the reason she even hugged her in the first place?

To get her back?

‘I…don’t want to be alone…’

Was that truly the only reason?

Neo wasn’t so sure anymore, to be honest, she wasn’t sure about anything right now, but seeing Cinder like that made her afraid…afraid of losing her altogether.

Even now, watching her worried, almost vulnerable expression filled the short girl with determination.

A yearning to eradicate the maiden’s fears.

As Cinder’s gaze met her stare, Neo had to push down the urge to look away. The maiden looked...tired.

“Can we go now?”

Her voice sounded anything but energetic and she turned away before Neo had the chance to respond. She seemed to be just as unsure after this whole ordeal as Neo.

Neo was still cold, the weather in Wind Path only a fraction more bearable than the farms or Argus.

…well, at least it wasn’t as freezing here.

Suppressing a shudder, she nodded to Cinder’s back, startled as she realized her companion was already on the move. Not for the first time in her life she cursed her inability to talk.

With a scowl the shorter girl followed after her.

They decided to stay at an inn this time around. Dealing with thugs, bandits…or the authorities was far more bearable than another run in with some spooky life draining Grimm.

It didn’t do anything to lift Cinder’s mood though. The whole time she didn’t look anything but miserable, her eye always flitting around from one source to another, judging and gauging possible threats.

It pained Neo to admit it, but she would give anything to get her over the top drama queen back.

But...what could she do?

They decided to get something to eat in one of the shadier looking restaurants. The underground was known to both of them...it felt more secure...in a weird way. In her paranoia, Cinder had them wear some rags over their usual clothes. She couldn’t fault the maiden for being careful, but it did nothing to ease Neo’s own uneasiness. They needed to do something.

Something that would feel normal and fun to both of them…

Lie, steal, cheat and survive.

Roman‘s slogan if you wanted to call it that. Maybe...she could use some of his old advice.

What would he do in her place right now?

‘Do what you do best.‘

Neo hoped Cinder wouldn‘t recognize how nervous she actually felt when she brought up her idea, trying for a nonchalant grin, as she relayed it.

“A robbery?”

Her companion appeared positively flabbergasted, causing Neo‘s grin to widen.

With shining eyes she immediately signed her answer:

/Yes/

Cinder’s eye narrowed in disbelief.

“You do realize that we are wanted criminals, right?”

/Why Cinder, are you afraid of getting caught?/

It felt so easy to sign along now. The maiden for all her huffing and moaning about having to appease her, was quite a fast learner. Neo could practically feel how her nerves calmed with each new sign that greeted her sight.

Cinder was simple enough to rattle if you knew which buttons to push, as she crossed her arms defensively, raising to the bait.

“Not at all, I was just making sure you know what you are getting into.

And where do you propose we strike?”

The short girl tipped her head mysteriously. Reaching over the table she corrected her comapnion‘s signs, her smile softening.

She was definitely a fast learner.

After a dramatic pause that had Cinder glaring daggers at her, Neo leaned closer, forming her next sentence with the maiden‘s very own hands:

[“Have you ever robbed a candy store?”]

She had followed the bowler wearing redhead for quite some time now, still not sure if she should trust him to return her home safely…but the direction they moved into seemed to be accurate for now.

His sudden question threw her for a loop.

Was he trying to see if she was a criminal like him?

Did he want to send her stealing?

Was she supposed to be a decoy of sorts?

Shaking her head she awaited his response with baited breath.

“A pity, it can be rather fun, you know?”

Rummaging inside his pocket, he pulled some orange, sugary sweet out of it and handed it to her.

The girl looked at the candy suspiciously.

Her father never told her anything of the sort, but apparently, it was a dangerous idea for kids to take sweets from strangers.

She had heard the neighbors’ gossip about this from time to time. Always warning their children about the consequences of not obeying them and listening to their rules.

And yet she frankly couldn’t care less.

This…strange boy, this Roman as she recalled, had been the nicest person to her since her mother had ‘left’.

Still…it was better to stay on guard…just to be on the safe side.

Shaking her head once more, she pointed to the rundown houses a few meters away from them.

This was it.

Her home…

Of course her neighborhood wasn‘t the best. People said the higher up you lived the better off you were, so they truly had to be the lowest of the low.

Roman however didn‘t seem deterred in the slightest, striding towards her building as if he owned the place…

Come to think of it…

‘How does he know where I live?‘

She may have pointed him in the right direction, but not to which exact house he would need to go. And still...he found it no problem.

“Are you coming, or what?“

His voice startled her. She hadn‘t realized she had stopped in front of her door with no intention of going in.

She didn‘t want to see her father.

She didn‘t want to cower in a corner tonight, begging for forgiveness.

But stalling the inevitable wouldn‘t protect her for long.

“I hope you fixed what you broke, ya little fre-“

Her father‘s voice, brash and loud greeted them as soon as they opened the door. Roman didn't seem taken aback though, to the contrary, he did something she had never seen anyone dare before. He interrupted him.

“Ah ah ah, you really shouldn‘t send a little girl out to clean up your messes now, should you?“

Hesitantly she followed after the redhead into the living room. She was even more surprised when her father just laughed his rude words off, gesturing to a chair across from him for the boy to sit on.

“If it isn‘t Roman Brunswick. To what do I owe the pleasure?

Has Koel come around?“

She had no idea what he was talking about.

Who was Koel?

The only thing she understood was that he apparently knew that Roman.

“It‘s Torchwick now“, the boy replied pleasantly, sitting on the offered chair with a smug expression on his face,“I am here to tell you your debt has been taken care of and no...she sadly wasn‘t swayed by my words whatsoever.“

At his last words he waved his arms theatrically, causing her father to chuckle once more. It send shivers down her spine.

So...she hadn‘t actually done something wrong?

She should have known.

“A bloody shame…

I thought sending that kid would help. Koel always has a use for fresh meat, no matter how defected...but I guess I‘ll have to send her to a brothel one of these days.

She may be mute, but somewhat pleasing to look at. No backtalk.

Think I should charge double for that?“

‘...huh?‘

He...he couldn‘t mean the houses the men always visited...right?

The ones you never openly talked about?

The forbidden houses for adults?

If he really did that...then her life was as good as over. Girls never left there alive.

And yet...she couldn‘t even feel shock at this revelation.

Just...numbness...endlessly spreading through her body.

“I think you shouldn‘t advertise her too much or else someone might just decide to steal her away. Gods know I could need a partner like her.“

“That was a good one, Brunswick. Anyways, thanks for the help. Tell me if that stuck up bitch changes her mind, will ya?“

“Of course. It has been a pleasure doing business with you.

Now, if you‘ll excuse me.“

The remaining conversation had been like a blur to her. She cast her eyes down quickly, as the redhead stood from his chair, passing her without a second glance or a goodbye. It was stupid, but it left her disappointed. Against all odds she had hoped that maybe...maybe someone would save her.

In the background she could hear her father barking at her to clean the house and take out the trash, while he made some phone calls regarding her future.

Dejected she returned to her little niche where she normally slept. So this would be the last time she could snuggle up to her hidden stuffed teddy bear.

Tears burned in her eyes, threatening to spill, but she couldn’t risk it.

Her father hated it when she cried.

Quickly her hands rummaged through her pockets to find a handkerchief, but...instead her fingers connected with something that seemed like paper. Curiously she pulled it out.

It was a card, a weird pumpkin like logo pranked on its front and underneath it, there seemed to be a scratchy written message.

/Wanna run away together?/

‘Run...away?‘

As soon as the words registered with her brain she tugged her bear close and ran to the door.

‘Please...still be there.‘

Breathing heavily she looked left, then right, trying to spot the redhead somewhere.

“Took you long enough sunshine.“

Whirling around she saw him, Roman, leaning right next to their door with a grin.

“Well…?“, he asked with a drawl in his voice,“What do you think of my proposition?“

She didn‘t know why she thought it would be a good idea. For all intents and purposes he could be just as bad as her father.

And yet...there was something about him, something familiar.

Looking up at the boy she managed a quick nod, before looking down again.

Everything would be better than what her father had in store for her.

She almost flinched when a hand was placed on her shoulder. Peering up once more Roman smiled at her, offering his hand for her to take.

“Alright then, little Neopolitan, first we‘ve got to steal you some clothes and after that...let‘s rob a candy store. I am in the need of something sweet to get this foul smell out of my mouth.“

‘Neo...politan…‘

She couldn‘t help but crack a smile. She had never met such a silly person before.

‘What a dum dum.‘

She wasn‘t afraid anymore when she finally took his hand.

Of course it had been way too easy to break into the shop at night. She had to hand it to Cinder, for all her dramatic flare, she knew how to plan and strategize. Neo swept through the store, all the cameras having long been dealt with and, nipping at some pink cotton candy on the way. Her companion seemed a little...at a loss on what to do after the hard part of their operation.

That just wouldn’t do.

This was to take their minds off of...everything.

Picking up a chocolate covered apple, the short girl held it out to the maiden.

/There./

With how baffled Cinder looked Neo truly wondered if she had never gotten sweets before.

‘...oh…‘

Maybe...she hadn’t?

Sometimes it was easy to forget where they both came from. Neo would never ask of course, but she had the distinct feeling Cinder‘s childhood hadn‘t been any better than hers.

Still...why pity Cinder if she could use that to her advantage?

Although her eyes had softened, her grin was still there.

She pointedly looked at the maiden and then at the apple, tapping her right index finger innocently against her chin.

/I see...you probably don‘t know how to eat an apple./

Cinder‘s gaze switched from bewildered to embarrassed in a matter of seconds, her face flushing slightly, as she ripped the chocolate covered apple from Neo‘s hand.

“Of course I know how to eat an apple!

You are ridiculous!“

Hesitantly she bit into the fruit, the fingers of her right hand digging a little harsher into it than they needed, but Neo decided the sight was worth it,

She had never seen anyone biting into an apple with such fierceness and determination.

She also had never witnessed someone‘s eye lighting up in childish wonder and happiness before.

The short girl‘s grin faded to a genuine smile, as she watched Cinder devour her apple treat. She had never thought they both would one day end up standing in a candy store together, but here they were. And for the first time in ages...she didn‘t feel as sad about Roman‘s absence anymore.

Not with Cinder present…

All her fears seemed so far away right now. She just knew she wanted the maiden to stay with her.

A warm feeling settled in her stomach.

“And what are you so happy about?“

Cinder‘s expression had soured after having finished eating her treat...though it would probably be more fitting to describe it as something akin to a pout.

Neo‘s eyes fell towards the maiden‘s chocolate covered right hand. Without giving her companion an answer, her grin returned to her face once more. Stepping closer into the dark haired girl‘s personal space she grasped her right hand pulling it towards her mouth.

Feeling no resistance whatsoever Neo decided to push her luck and gave one finger an experimental lick…

“What the hell are you doing?“, the maiden almost yelped, drawing her hand back at the speed of light, wiping it clean against a rug on the counter.

The short girl couldn‘t help but chuckle silently at Cinder‘s flabbergasted face.

/Are you feeling better, grumpy cat?/

“I...what?“

To her surprise Cinder hadn‘t really jumped away from her when she had retracted her hand.

A good sign?

‘I sure hope so.‘

There was a storm of emotions visible on the maiden‘s face, her voice softening in a way that had always been so rare to hear.

“All of this...this...hairbrained idea of yours to rob this stupid store...all of this...was to make me feel better?“

Rolling her eyes, Neo huffed in annoyance. Leave it to Cinder to ruin her goodhearted intentions.

‘Goddamm drama queen!‘

Crossing her arms defiantly, the short girl stared up at her companion in a way that almost screamed: /Yeah, what are you gonna do about it?/

She didn‘t see it coming.

From one moment to another Neo felt soft lips pressed against hers, rendering her completely motionless. It was as if an electric strike had just jolted down her spine. So very much like her companion, just sweeping her off her feet.

Before she was able to reciprocate the kiss, Cinder pulled away in a hurry, stumbling a few steps backwards in panic, her eye wide with...

Fear!

Fear that practically radiated from her in spades.

“I…“

The maiden never finished her sentence.

Neo had seen it in her eye. The need to flee, to hide.

She was done hiding. They both were.

She wouldn‘t let Cinder run away from this...from her...from...them?

Her lips connected with the dark haired girl‘s almost a little too forceful, her arms pulling her companion closer. She could taste a hint of apple and chocolate that Cinder had eaten before, making it all the more sweeter. Closing her eyes she deepened the kiss and the tension inside the maiden‘s body seemed to melt away.

Arms began to circle around Neo hesitantly, causing her heart to skip a beat. Her face felt warm, growing hotter with each pounding her heart emitted, echoing all the way to her throat.

Her nose bumped softly against the maiden‘s, as she sank a little bit deeper into her arms, her hands almost hesitantly reaching out to caress her companion‘s cheek.

She wanted Cinder...she liked Cinder. No matter how dangerous she wound up to be. Somehow somewhere, the dark haired girl had become important to her.

And by the gods, she wouldn‘t give her up, even if it cost her her own safety. She wouldn‘t let her become like Roman.

Neo hadn‘t felt this warm...this secure in a long time.

She couldn‘t say when they finally parted again, but it left them both breathless.

Mismatched eyes met gold.

Confusion, fear, need, want.

A silent storm that swirled in both their gazes.

This would change things between them...but Neo found it hard to care any longer.

/Alright...let‘s talk./

“...yes.“

AN: Yep, still doing this and one day I will finish it...hopefully ^^‘

Credit for the awesome cover goes to @ hoepunkausta =)

[alpaca-writes]

Mystics, Chapter 12

When Arch becomes hired on at Mystics by the strange shopkeeper Lyrem Nomadus, everything seems to be going well- in fact, their life nearly becomes perfection. Soon enough, however, Arch realizes that perhaps not everything is as perfect as it seems….

Directory: [chapter one] [chapter two] [chapter three] [chapter four] [chapter five] [chapter six] [chapter seven] [chapter eight] [chapter nine] [chapter ten] [chapter eleven]

Tag list: @myst-in-the-mirror, @livingforthewhump

CW: memory whump, psychological whump, noncon touching (nonsexual), swearing. torture mention, car accident mention

CHAPTER TWELVE: THE FUTURE IS UNCERTAIN

        Store meeting. 8pm tonight. –

        “And, send.” Lyrem muttered to himself, then sighed. He laid his elbow against the countertop, staring mindlessly at his phone and drank the last sip of his coffee before throwing it into the trash bin beside him. The shapeshifter was in the alley, waiting for their cue. All Lyrem needed now, was Arch. A slight flittering sound alerted him to a new text.

        Omw.

        Perfect. Everything was in motion. Everything was going to work out. Arch needed a little more push. Just a slight nudge to keep them interested in working for him. The farther they went, the harder it would be to return to innocence. He couldn’t allow them the chance to turn away. He needed to awaken their memories naturally. He needed them to be lost in their fury. He needed them to take that extra step- he needed them to kill. And who better to help them to do that than-

        The front door flew open in a rage. Lyrem was faced with a version of himself blazoning with passionate anger. His eyes were red, his face was pink. He looked as though…

        “What happened to you?” He asked himself. The other Lyrem wiped a stray unstoppable tear from his face.

        “Oh, you’ll fucking find out!” He shouted. He travelled through the store and directly entered the employee washroom. He remained in there for several minutes before emerging with his face rinsed but still tender. He announced to his other self, still in a fit. “I’m taking the SUV.”

        The present Lyrem raised a brow, then returned to staring at his texts. It wasn’t often that he dared cross himself within a time-stream.

        “Just don’t crash the damn thing.” He hollered, but his future self was already gone through the back.

        -----

        The Labyrinth.

        Arch had only ever heard of it.

        What they knew was simply that it was a place of emptiness. It was a place where nothing existed. A place where suffering, joy, life and death ceased to be. It was also a place that stole you from the world. A step into the depths of the Labyrinth and you’d be forgotten to all. Forgotten to the whole world- except for the very one who had tossed you in. Even on Earth, the Labyrinth would ensure you’d never exist there either- not even in a memory. It wasn’t like simple Latin blood magic. This was a loss to endure forever.

        Now, they saw it, and it was much less impressive than they expected. Lyrem had propped open the back door as Arch held onto the man’s body- or the person they were to assume was the man. But… Arch knew better than to believe everything they heard. They were reminded of the policeman, Grenn, and what he had said a week ago-

        “How does a guy walk away from a car crash with a Bowie stuck in his leg?”

        At the time, it wasn’t as important to know how the man got away, as much as it was important to find him. Lyrem seemed sure that they had found him, but Arch wasn’t so sure- especially not after they leaned into his right leg. There wasn’t anything remotely close to a reaction from him. The knife was buried at lease two inches into his leg, of that, Arch was certain; and no one could heal from that in a week. The Labyrinth wouldn’t be pleasant, certainly, but at least they weren’t about to kill an innocent man.

        “Well?” Lyrem touted, “What are you waiting for?”

        Arch looked up and down the empty alleyway. Usually, Lyrem’s vehicle would be blocking the view of the street from the alley’s entrance, but it wasn’t around tonight. Maybe it was at a mechanics’; maybe Arch would get lucky.

        “Nothing,” they said, dismally. They propped the man up, who was now completely unconscious from a second well-placed blow to the head, and kicked him forward into the darkness.

        Lyrem closed the door after the shapeshifter.

        “I am proud of you, Arch,” he said, but this time, it sounded skeptical. Like he was testing them. He could see the change in their demeanour and he measured what this new version of Arch might mean for him.

        “That wasn’t the man, was it?” They postulated. Lyrem squirmed under their gaze. He nodded apologetically, and gave a half smile.

        “Too clever for your own good,” he praised warmly. Approaching, he clasped his hands together.  “You caught me. That was not the Man- though you certainly put him in his place, didn’t you? The Labyrinth… I would choose death over the Labyrinth a hundred times over if given a choice. Quite diabolical of you to choose the Labyrinth.”

        Arch stepped backward, nearly tripping over their own feet to do so. Lyrem regarded their movement keenly, and furrowed his brows.

        “What’s wrong, Arch?”

        “Nothing,” they mumbled, looking away, towards the door. “What… was he? Why did he look like the man?”

        “Oh,” Lyrem realized. “He is a shapeshifter. Hard beings to find, I will admit but for this particular job, he did just perfect. Well worth the expense I think.”

        Arch squinted their eyes at Lyrem, who was so comfortable with the idea of tossing people away.

        “So, he was like you?” Arch alleged tentatively. “A… a monster?”

         Lyrem stepped forward at the accusation, towering himself over the kid that he regarded so highly. A sharp betrayal stung him in the chest. He had almost forgotten that his future self had visited him to retrieve the SUV. He may finally know exactly what set him off into such a fury.

        “Say that again.”

        Arch stammered and stumbled over their words, their hands finding their way to their pocket where their phone was missing, but the mace, thankfully, remained. Lyrem stopped them with a finger to their lips, resulting in an upsetting silence from Arch.

        “I am not a monster,” he stated. “What I am is a bestower of great gifts. I gave you dominance and power over those who have oppressed you and you would lower me to the tier of a shapeshifter- a monster?”

        Arch was shaking now, unable to move any further away, and too fearful to object to his statements.

        “You promised me your life, your devotion to this work that I do. Arch, if I am truly a monster in your eyes, then you need not fear me any more than the one that stares back at you from a mirror.”

        Lyrem lowered his fingers, and took a deep breath.

        “I will forgive you, Arch. I will forgive you because I care about you, and because you did something very difficult for me today.” Lyrem raised his arm again, setting a hand on their shoulder. “And I suspect you are still trying to remember everything that you and I have done together. So… I apologize if this experience was… rattling.”

        “My…” Arch mumbled, still stricken with a sense of danger that was overwhelming them, reason and all. “My mom… she warned me…”

        The memories were fading… They were fading quickly. But their mom… their mom?... told them… somebody told them not to trust this man. The man with the gem shop. The man who forced them to work late. The man who taught them what power truly was.

        This was the man they feared. And they feared him more than anything else in the world.

        The lid of the mace hit the alleyway’s pavement, rolling into a gutter of the road. The hiss of the spray and the following spewed insults, were enough of a distraction for Arch to run into the street after they had thrown the emptied canister into the old man’s face. The only thing screaming in their mind was the knowledge that they had to return home and not Lyrem’s well chosen words that echoed down to them as he followed them at a slower pace to the sidewalk.

        “YOU UNGRATEFUL WRETCH!”

        Arch flew down the many streets, pushing past the evening street-walkers if needed. Their legs fought them the whole way; still recovering from the bruises from the crash and their back still feeling the panging effects from the whiplash that caused a near-constant aching. For now, they couldn’t care less. They needed to get home. They needed to be safe. They needed…

        For whatever reason, a visual of Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore popped into their head. There was something about it that was wrong. There was something missing. Someone missing. Who was telling them about that ridiculous movie, again?

        Who would be waiting for them at the house? They thought.

        Maleficent. That stupid cat.

        People lived with other people though, didn’t they? Families. They realized. That was what it was called. They had one of those. Human families. Siblings and grandparents and fathers and…

        They reached the end of their block, their own face worn from the fears of that night and exhausted from everything that had been revealed to them. They weren’t a monster… They couldn’t be.

        They were Arch. They were a stupid high school student who had a part-time job. They had friends... they had little hobbies… they failed Spanish class.

        They also tortured Kyle. They flayed his skin so that Lyrem could dry them and use them as paper for certain macabre spell work.

        The more they ran with the knowledge of what they had done and who they had hurt, the harder it was to continue… the easier it was to give up. Their knees buckled, hitting the sidewalk pavement with force. Out of breath, and feeling nauseous, Arch’s forehead met the hot ground next; their arms and hands curled around their head as they threatened to pull their own hair out as a means of distraction from their horrible reality.

        “There you are…”

        Arch gulped, and merely wept, soaking the sidewalk in a small spot where their face was supported only by their forearms. They felt a firm grasp pulling them up by the elbow, and they succumbed to its demands. Their knees were torn into by stray pebbles, tossed on from the boulevards- some were still small enough to remain stuck beneath their there, leaving specks of red across their skin.

        “Wh-where…” Arch started to say- though they didn’t entirely know what they were trying to ask as a fog of grief and anger and fear poured over them. “Where’s… my…”

        It was exhausting, trying to remember exactly what was so wrong- why they couldn’t stand to be around Lyrem right now- and despite their best efforts to pull away, he dutifully remained by their side as they walked the rest of the street together. Slowly they arrived at the front door of the house.  

         Maleficent sat there at the top of the porch, waiting; her blue eyes peering judgmentally at the kid as they found their way up the stairs. A long grey tail swept from side to side lazily, then she proceeded to lick herself.

        Lyrem closed them into the house; the scent of burning paper filling it. He had lit a small fire in the living room and stacked several small Rubbermaid containers beside it- one of which, sitting on the raised slate hearth was half empty.

        The futon was roughly shoved back into the form of a couch. Bags of clothing in multiple colours remained by the door, as well as a stack of math and chemistry texts with haphazardly strewn loose-leaf papers.

        He sat Arch down on the futon as he laid a hand on their back. Gently, he caressed them and pulled a warm fleece throw over their lap. Arch curled into it, and watched the fire burn, engulfing the last memories of the people they thought of as family. Lyrem return to stoking it. He picked through some photos and papers from the open bin, allowing Arch to watch as he tossed them to the flames.

        Arch found themselves drifting into a deep dreamless sleep. With a pillow under their head and the room growing too warm, Lyrem studied them fondly as he continued to shove their past into the flames. Over an hour later, he closed the lid on the one of the last bins. He would return to burning those papers and photos another time. He pushed the little metal bar to close the flue on the fire, and shut the door on it as it groaned like a horn.

        “You rang…?”

        Lyrem turned around, seeing Paimon, he scoffed. Then held a finger to his lips to keep the demon quiet until he shooed him into the kitchen. Lyrem started the kettle on the stove. Paimon looked from the couch and then back to Lyrem warily, and then opened his mouth.

        “Don’t say it,” Lyrem interjected. Paimon looked slightly offended.

        “I was going to say that our lawyer has their papers ready,” Paimon replied with an innocent conjecture. Removing his tall hat, he placed it on the small worn wooden table. Lyrem nodded, and he continued. “But also, that you are getting too close.”

        Lyrem pulled himself away from the cupboard; a tin of hot chocolate powder in his hand, he considered using it as a bludgeoning instrument- but even if he had something more weaponized, Paimon wouldn’t have felt a thing. He was a demon, after all.

         “All Arch has to do is sign and your debts will become their debts. You won’t ever have to worry about what you owe- well until you make another ridiculous deal, that is.”

        “Keeping Maria alive was not a ridiculous deal,” Lyrem said. He pulled three mugs out of the cupboard, filling them with spoonfuls of the powder. Now they only needed to wait for the water to boil.

        “My apologies,” Paimon instilled a silence into the room. Absently he sifted through the mail with Charlotte’s name sprawled over it. Insurance payment reminders, some neighbourhood notices, and list of seemingly random addresses she had penned out over the phone one day, they all sat in a heap. “Their mother, then?”

        Lyrem accepted the shame with dignity and crossed his arms as he leaned into the fridge.

“It had to be done. Arch is too easily influenced by them,” He spoke simply. “Thank you again for providing me with another doorway. It took a lot of energy… I may need to devour a heart or two before I replenish my strength.”

“Have you considered that you might be getting in a little over your head?”

Lyrem shook it. “No. I- I am not in over my head, Paimon. My head is still well above the waterline, thank you very much.”

Paimon smoothed his beard to the end and regarded the man skeptically.

“So, you will still allow Arch to sign?”

Lyrem blinked, his lashes fluttering bit as he thought of his answer. Then he scowled.

“They already said they would sign. I am sure that if Arch cares about me, and cares about the work ahead of them, that they will make the right decision for themselves.”

“And if they make the wrong decision?” Paimon postulated.

Lyrem fell silent just in time for the kettle to scream out with a high whistle. He shut off the stove, and picked it up. Filling the three mugs and giving them a stir, he passed one to Paimon, then moved to the living room.

With a light nudge, Arch awoke to the smell of the warm chocolate sugar and accepted the cup as they sat up. Wrapping their blanket around their shoulders, Lyrem asked.

“Are you feeling better, now?”

Arch nodded, brushing away some dried tears. Past Lyrem’s head of grey, the light was on in the kitchen with the demon in black sitting there still. He caught their gaze and held it carefully. Arch waved.

Paimon nodded back with a slight sideways grin.

“What’s Paimon doing here?” they asked, whispering to Lyrem.

Good. They remembered Paimon.

“He’s just here to catch up, that’s all.” Lyrem left them to their own devices on the couch and returned to the kitchen table as he retrieved his own comforting mug and held onto it with both hands as if the simple act could warm his rapidly cooling heart.

‘Let them enjoy their prom- their graduation. One last night out with their friends.” Lyrem was asking- no, pleading more than telling.

“Immediately after. I don’t want you to be running around any longer with this target on your back. It makes me… uneasy.” Paimon adjusted in his seat. “You and I still have much to do.”

“Yes. Yes, I know.” Lyrem sipped on his hot chocolate as his hazel eyes glazed over from thoughts that were perhaps too deep for his own good.

[bichlordstories]

14: promises kept

You're gonna take Ibara's place in Tetsutetsu's team during the cavalry battle.

Sorry plant queen, I love you! Please forgive me!

~~~~~~~~~~

For the cavalry battle, you forced your team to avoid Deku's team, which held the 10 million points. You focused on collecting points off of others despite your team's complaints.

Of course, you immediately shut those complaints down with a simple glare. Juzo and Awase didn't even fight you, Tetsutetsu did, that is, until you gave him the most frightening look ever.

You four got more than enough points to head into the finals, just at second place behind Todoroki's team. Midoriya's was below your rank, which dimmed the fire inside, but only for a moment.

Only for a moment.

"Shit! You were right about avoiding the 10 million points!" Awase said once seeing Todoroki and his abilities.

"We still coulda got it..." Tetsutetsu said.

"We're not here to worry about silly games, Tetsutetsu, we got into the finals, which means we have a chance to get into first place." You said while staring down the greenette.

"You've been glaring at that guy for a while."

You snapped out of it and turned to look at Tetsutetsu.

"I thought that Bakugou guy was your arch nemesis or something, but you've been completely focused on the green haired guy."

"It's none of your business, Tetsu." You muttered.

Tetsutetsu shrugged but still stood beside you, watching the greenette as well.

'I wonder what he's done to get all of (Y/n)'s attention...' he thought as the greenette was speaking with his friend group.

"(Y/n)!!!"

You turned to glare at whoever came up to you. Monoma appeared before you and gripped your shoulders with wild looking eyes.

"You better win this for me- for us." He said in an intense manner.

"Yeah yeah, Monoma, we got this!" Tetsutetsu said while flexing his muscular arm.

You looked on in disinterest and then turned your attention back to Deku. He was approaching you. He was walking right towards you with his eyes locked onto yours. You soon started approaching him and his determined eyes slowly showed hints of fear.

You kept approaching, even as he stopped in his place.

You kept approaching... until Todoroki approached him.

You stopped with a frown and watched as the two teens walked away to somewhere.

They weren't friends. You could tell. It seems like Deku has more than one enemy, and you weren't about to let the Todoroki get in your way.

You silently followed the two, ready to confront them, or Deku, yourself before Todoroki started talking.

While you weren't able to have a chat with the greenette, you did learn a few interesting things about Todoroki's father...

Being respectful though, you didn't eavesdrop beyond him mentioning quirk marriages.

You could connect the dots on your own...

You left them alone, but not before passing Bakugou. You didn't realize he was listening as well, but you didn't say anything but lock eyes.

~~~~~

"So you're the kid Kirishima keeps talking about." The lightening bolt teen said.

You didn't reply and instead got into a fighting position, ignoring the background noise that was the crowd cheering. The blonde raised an eyebrow and smirked at this.

"So quiet! Kirishima said you were super manly and intimidating." He said as a spark of electricity flashed from his shoulder.

"Let's see how manly you can be!" He yelled as he launched himself forward.

It wasn't really much of a fight. Nobody could even call it a fight.

You were swift in defeating the teen, Kaminari you believe.

The electric shock you received did hurt, but it left no burns or wounds behind.

In fact, the only thing that was left on you were crimson sparks. Even as his unconscious body was taken off the field, you were still sparking.

It was the same way when fighting the kid with engines on his calves.

He was more challenging then the blonde you Pimp smacked, but then again, that's a very low bar to pass in your opinion.

Entering the stands where your class was, you were immediately met with cheers.

"You were so freaking cool out there!" Tetsutetsu exclaimed.

"I'm glad I'm not going against them..." Juzo muttered, earning a couple nods of agreement from Togaru and Kuroiro.

"Hey, (L/n)-san! You're still sparking!" Kendo pointed out.

You looked at your shoulder to see sparks of crimson electricity. Blood was slowly sleeping through your uniform, which also caught the class's attention.

"Hey, you're still bleeding..." Reiko said.

"Yeah. I am." You said while grabbing a bottle of water from a vending machine.

"Wait, how are you still bleeding? You shouldn't be unless your quirk is still activated." Sen said.

You didn't respond, opting to chug on the water you have.

"(L/n)... your quirk is still activated!?" Kendo said in surprise.

Still nothing from you.

"You realize how dangerous that is!? What if you lose control!?"

You emptied the rest of the bottle into your mouth and crushed it then turned to Kendo and the rest.

"I trained with Sekijiro-sensei long enough. I can take better control now." You finally answered.

"Okay, but why do you need to keep your quirk activated?" Jurota asked in a skeptical tone while crossing his arms.

"If I deactivate it now, I'll be too tired to continue." You said.

Before anyone could respond, the speaker shouted something that made your blood run cold.

"Midoriya is out of bounds! Todoroki wins this round!!!!"

You shot up from your seat and leaned against the railing.

There he was, laying on the ground. Like a little bitch.

'This is his predecessor...? This is who I'm supposed to prove myself against???' Your grip on the railing was crushing.

'I didn't even get to pummel him to the ground... that scarred bastard did it.'

"(L/n)-san...?"

You didn't turn to your classmates, still stuck in your thoughts.

'If I can't fight Deku...'

'...Then I'll just settle for Todoroki.' You grinned maliciously.

It was no secret that your quirk was starting to take a toll on you...

"And here we have TODOROKI SHOTO vs. (L/N) (Y/N)!!!"

The fight began with a shot of ice aiming for you.

It was too quick to dodge, but you were able to break it into pieces.

Todoroki kept using his right side, his ice, but never his fire. You were quick to notice this.

What? Were you not good enough to use his full power on? He used it on Deku. Why not you???

"No way!!! Despite being covered in blood, (L/n) is somehow overwhelming Todoroki!"

Oh hell no.

He's not going to treat you as less. You are BETTER than him. BETTER THAN DEKU.

Does he think he can just use half of his power!?

You stood tall, skin and hair covered in red. Todoroki halted momentarily upon seeing you stand still.

"I ain't your fucking father, Todoroki..."

Todoroki grunted in surprise with wide eyes.

How did you...

"...You aren't fighting Endeavour." You pounded your chest with a bloody fist before yelling at the bicolored boy again.

"My name is (L/n) MOTHERFUCKING (Y/N)! And I will beat the shit out of you for thinking you could be a hero by half-assing shit."

The crowd around you seemed to quiet down a bit, including Present Mic, who was usually yelling something random.

You crouched down and readied yourself to pounce at Todoroki.

"So if you want to at least impress somebody, GIVE ME YOUR ALL!!!!" You exclaimed and ran at Todoroki with the speed of a raging bull.

And he did just that.

Despite being unable to feel most of the pain due to the adrenaline high you were having, you could feel the heat and smell the vapor of blood and flesh from the bright orange and yellow fire that grazed your right arm. You still rushed at the teen and reared your fist back to punch him.

The boy was stunned by the force of the punch as well as the blood that was left behind. Either his or your blood, he didn't know.

Your right fist, covered in charred flesh, still pumped blood out to replace the old vaporized blood, creating a rather grotesque sight.

Despite this, you used both fists to pummel the student from class 1A. He didn't get time to recover and soon his face was bruised and swollen.

He fell to his knees, holding out his right hand and freezing your left side.

"Oh god..." All Might said breathlessly while the heroes next to him stood up. People began to freak out over the sight before you and him. Paramedics were rushing to the scene and heroes were just about ready to leap down there. Endeavour was also watching in shock at his prodigy getting beaten to the ground and his fire slowly dimmed.

Up in the microphone room, Present Mic was staring down in horror at the two students on the bloody field along side with Eraserhead.

Todoroki wasn't looking too well... but you were worse.

Despite feeling like you could run across the world, you were bleeding heavily, burnt, and frozen to the point of getting frostbite.

"Oh my god! Somebody stop them!"

"They're gonna kill him-"

"What... what is this...!?"

You started walking over to Todoroki's collapsed form, your body sparking with red electricity, and gripped his uniform with your burnt, crispy looking arm and pulled him towards the edge, where the paramedics and heroes stopped at once seeing you move.

"(L-L-L-L/n) is still moving!!!" Mic's voice echoed throughout the stadium, causing chaos throughout the crowd.

In the stands, class 1A was half silent, half loud. The grape kid, Kirishima was freaking out along with a few other students. Mineta threw up in a trash can, Shoji couldn't look away but was stuck staring at the scene, Iida was also frozen in his seat, unable to look away.

"There's no way..." Midoriya wheezed out.

Even Bakugou seemed disturbed by the bloodshed that occurred in front of him.

Class 1A could hear 1B freaking out nearby. Kendo was practically shrieking for you to let Todoroki go, not just for his wellbeing, but for yours as well. Monoma would have cheered you on if it weren't for the fact that you looked like you could die any second with the wounds you attained.

You stopped at the edge of the concrete and chucked Todoroki over the side, having him land on the dirt with a sickening 'thud'.

"T-Todoroki Shoto is OUT!!!!" Present Mic shrieked into the microphone.

People cheered as well as shrieked, but that wasn't your concern. You didn't care about the paramedics rushing towards you and Todoroki.

No.

You were focused on the green eyes of that Midoriya brat. You pointed over to him, letting him know you were looking right at him before a sadistic smile came over your face and you swiped your finger over your neck in a slit-throat motion, blood dripping from your blackened skin.

And then you collapsed.

"Everyone, please stand by-" a female voice said over the shrieking.

Your vision and your sight faded in and out before finally settling in the darkness and silence.