#forever bitter about what they did to steve

[lilpomelito]

my favorite thing about Steve is that he’s actually a very confident guy, overconfident I would say sometimes, so in my head he has the shortest gay crisis ever like he realizes on a random Tuesday morning while slowly rotting on his costumer service job that his weird fixation with Eddie and how close he is with that punk dude from the Hideout is jealousy actually, so that means he has a crush on Eddie. Huh, that’s weird, has he had crushes on guys before? Maybe, his friendship with Tommy was intense and weirdly possessive actually, and their fight did feel like a breakup kind off and Tommy did behave like a bitter ex afterwards… also now that he thinks about it his obsession with the captain of the baseball team who was a senior when he was a junior was totally a crush in retrospective. And as he comes to this conclusion he also thinks damn what a waste, I could 100% have pulled him. So that same day he’s driving to Eddie’s place like “hi i’m taking you out” and Eddie doesn’t know if he’s about to be wine and dinned or murdered in the middle of the woods but he’s also a weak weak man for pretty boys so he just follows where Steve tells him to go. They have a lovely date at the dinner and then drive up to the quarry to see the sunset and then a very intense makeout sesh in the back of Steve’s car when Eddie remembers to ask him if he’s even into guys. Steve who already has his hands in Eddie’s pants looks him dead in the eye and says “yeah since this morning I think, but also since forever.” And Eddie who had to spend years slowly crawling his way out of Narnia to even admit to himself he was gay even less admitting it to others just blinks and accepts the fact that yeah, Steve Harrington has always had that vibe actually, and resumes kissing him.

[the-winter-spider]

Invisible | Part Six

Pairings: Bucky x Reader AU .... eventually lol

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Idiots, angst, Buckys dumb for like no reason at all. Poor steve :(

A/N: Okay im uploading part 7 directly after this cuz yall were patient when i said i was uploading part 6 last night and never did lmao, also the next two are just kinda build ups bucky and reader gonna have some words.........

Masterpost

----

Bucky sighs, running a hand through his hair as he looks at Steve and Sam, who are both waiting, wide-eyed. “Do you remember that party at John Walker’s house? It was a couple of years after you dropped out, Sam.”

Sam’s eyes narrow, thinking back. “Yeah, I only heard about it because Wanda said it got messy. And Steve… you were the one who became the keg stand champion, right?”

Steve smirks at the memory. “Yeah, that was one for the books. But what’s that got to do with anything?”

Bucky looks down, his voice soft, almost reverent. “That night… something happened between us. We’d been drinking, and one thing led to another. We, uh, we…. slept together.”

There’s a moment of stunned silence. Steve’s eyes go wide, and Sam’s jaw drops. Finally, Steve manages, “Holy crap, Buck. You two just… jumped from being best friends to that?”

Bucky nods, a small, wistful smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I’d been in love with her for as long as I could remember. And that night… it felt like everything. I thought maybe… maybe it meant the same to her.” His face darkens, his voice dropping. “But when I woke up the next morning, she was gone. Just… vanished. Didn’t say a word. And after that, she wouldn’t even meet my eyes for weeks.”

Sam shakes his head, completely floored. “So you’re telling us that you two had this whole moment… and then she just left?”

“Yeah,” Bucky mutters, still looking down. “I thought maybe she was spooked, it was a lot, so I gave her some space but…” He trails off sighing, “Maybe she regretted it, or felt ashamed. Hell, I even started to think she was disgusted with herself for… being with me.”

Steve rubs his forehead, staring at Bucky with a mix of disbelief and pity. “So you’ve just… never talked about it? Not once?”

“No,” Bucky says with a bitter laugh. “She wouldn’t, and I wasn’t gonna force her to. I figured if she wanted to pretend it never happened, then that’s what we’d do, yknow id do anything for her”

Sam scoffs, shaking his head. “Buck, everyone’s known she’s been in love with you since forever. She probably thought you saw it as a drunken mistake.”

Bucky stares at him, bewildered. “What do you mean?”

“Your reputation in college, at least when I was there” Sam says bluntly. “She probably thought she was just another notch on your belt. Especially if she’d heard any of those rumours.”

Bucky looks between them, realisation dawning as he mutters, “She knew those were just rumours, were best friends, she knows me better than that, right? She had to have known they were just rumours.”

Steve raises an eyebrow. “How was she supposed to know, Buck? Everyone around campus talked about you like you were this heartbreaker, this guy who couldn’t be tied down. Best friend Bucky and relationship you are two different Bucky’s to her… can you blame her for thinking that night didn’t mean anything to you?”

Bucky stares at the floor, his expression twisted with guilt and frustration. “I just… I thought she’d know I’d never do that to her. That she was different, of course she is different it's her, she has to know that!” He clenches his fists. “I thought she was the one regretting it.”

Sam lets out a sigh, leaning forward. “So let me get this straight. You both spent years walking on eggshells, thinking the other didn’t care, and you’re both probably miserable because of it.”

Bucky shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. “It just felt safer to leave it alone. I thought it was better to have her in my life as my best friend than risk losing her altogether. I’d rather have had some of her than none at all.”

Steve shakes his head, a small, sad smile on his face. “You two have been dancing around each other all this time. It’s like you’ve been playing some drawn-out, painful game of cat and mouse.”

Bucky laughs, but it’s hollow. “Guess we’re both idiots.”

Sam gives him a pointed look. “So what are you gonna do about it?”

Bucky looks up, something vulnerable flashing in his eyes. “I don’t know. I thought I’d missed my chance. But… if she still feels the same, if there’s even a part of her that still cares…”

Steve claps him on the shoulder. “Then it’s worth fighting for, Buck. Don’t let another night slip by without her knowing how you feel, you’ve wasted enough time already”

Bucky’s face hardens with resolve, determination mingling with the lingering fear in his eyes. “You’re right. I have to tell her. I just hope… I hope it’s not too late. You’re a good friend, Steve. Thanks for this.”

Steve musters a small, bittersweet smile. “Of course, Buck. Anything for you.”

Inside, though, a quiet ache flares—a familiar, constant ache he’s learned to bury deep down. Unrequited love is painful enough, but what gnaws at Steve isn’t just his own longing. It’s the years he’s spent watching the two people he cares about most teeter on the edge of something real, only to pull back time and again. He’s seen Bucky’s yearning masked as indifference, her stolen glances that went unnoticed, and all the missed moments that could have been… if only one of them had been brave enough.

To Steve, there’s a nobility in his silence—a duty to let them find happiness, even if it’s not with him. It would be easy to resent Bucky for hurting you, for treating your feelings like a burden. But Steve can’t bring himself to feel anything other than empathy. Bucky’s been as lost as you have, caught in a battle he’s too proud or too scared to admit.

He knows, deep down, that his own feelings don’t matter here. What matters is that they have a chance, a real chance, at the happiness he’s always wanted for you, even if its not with him. And if he has to carry his love quietly, if he has to keep his own heartache in check for them, then that’s what he’ll do.

“Go tell her, Buck,” Steve says quietly, the weight of unspoken words heavy in his voice. “And don’t waste a single moment. You both deserve to know the truth.”

Bucky meets his gaze, nodding with a unsure but trusting smile. He has no idea of the sacrifice Steve is making in this moment, Steve watches him, swallowing the longing and sadness that’s always there but will never be voiced. In his own way, he’s choosing love too—a selfless love that finds peace in seeing her happiness, even if it’s not

with him.

Sam glanced at Bucky, his brow furrowing. “Hold on a second, what about Kate?”

Bucky’s face falls at Sam’s question, the name he’s been trying not to think about suddenly hitting him like a weight in his chest. Kate. Sweet, caring, loyal Kate, who had seen the best in him when he couldn’t see it himself, who had been there quietly beside him, hoping he’d come around.

He hesitates, avoiding his friends’ eyes as he tries to gather his thoughts. “I… I don’t know. Kate deserves the truth too. I thought maybe she was what I needed to finally… to finally move on.” He sighs, the regret heavy in his voice. “But that was just me lying to myself. And she doesn’t deserve that.”

Sam nods, a hint of sympathy in his expression. “Kate’s a good person, Buck. She doesn’t deserve to be anyone’s second choice.”

Bucky looks down, guilt clawing at him. “I know. And I hate that I’ve made her one. She should be with someone who’s all in… and that’s not me. It’s not fair to her.”

Steve studies Bucky’s face, understanding but also concerned. “So, you’re going to talk to her?”

Bucky nods slowly. “Yeah. She deserves to know. I need to be honest with her before I can… before I can even think about anything else.”

Steve claps a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Good. She deserves that much.”

That afternoon, Bucky texts Kate, asking if they can meet up. His heart pounds as he waits for her reply, the thought of ending things with her weighing heavily on his mind. She responds quickly, suggesting they meet at the same little coffee shop from the day before, and he heads there with a mix of dread and resignation.

When he arrives, Kate is already seated at their usual table, a soft smile brightening her face when she sees him. It makes the ache in his chest deepen—he knows that after today, that smile will probably disappear, and he’ll be the one responsible for it.

“Hey,” she says, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand. “You sounded serious in your text. Everything okay?”

Bucky nods, though the heaviness in his gaze betrays him. “Yeah, I… I just needed to talk to you about something. Something I haven’t been fair about.”

Kate’s smile fades slightly, a hint of concern clouding her expression. “What is it?”

He opens his mouth to explain, but the words get stuck, the weight of everything catching up to him. “Kate… I don’t know how to say this. You deserve so much more than I’ve been giving you. I haven’t been fair to you. I haven’t… I haven’t been fully here.”

Kate’s face softens as she reaches out, gently placing her hand over his. “Bucky, I know this hasn’t been easy for you. I know you’re… complicated. But I’m here because I want to be. Because I care about you, whether you’re all in or not.”

He shakes his head, guilt gnawing at him. “You deserve better than ‘complicated,’ Kate. I thought I could be the guy you deserve, but I just… I can’t be.”

She watches him for a long moment, and then her voice drops, quiet but sure. “Bucky, I knew what I was getting into when I fell for you. I know you’re still figuring things out, and I can be patient. I can wait if that’s what you need.”

Her words stop him in his tracks. There’s an unflinching loyalty in her eyes, a warmth and steadiness that he’s never fully appreciated until now. She doesn’t look away, doesn’t flinch, and the weight of her gaze makes his chest tighten.

“Kate, I…” he starts, but she squeezes his hand, stopping him.

“Look, Bucky, I know there are things you haven’t told me, things you don’t think I understand. But I’ve seen the way you look at me, and I think… I think we could really have something if you let us.” Her voice trembles slightly, but she holds his gaze, her own eyes filled with a quiet determination.

For a moment, he’s silent, trying to process what she’s offering him. Kate’s hope, her patience, her willingness to wait for him—it’s more than he deserves, more than he ever thought he’d find with anyone. And he realizes, with a pang, that he can’t bring himself to end things with her today. Not with the sincerity in her voice, the openness in her gaze.

After a long moment, he forces himself to nod. “Thank you, Kate. For… for everything…”

She smiles, a relieved smile that makes him feel even worse, but he doesn’t have the heart to say anything more. The truth—the messy, painful truth—will have to wait. For now, he’ll accept her patience, even if he doesn’t deserve it.

---

You sit back on Natasha’s bed, letting out a long sigh, the wine making you feel just the tiniest bit lightheaded as you stare up at the ceiling.

“I can’t go home,” you mutter. “Bucky’s over at Steve and Sam’s tonight but, when he comes home, I… I just can’t face him right now. Not after everything.”

Natasha gives you a soft smile. “Of course, you can stay here. You’re always welcome.”

Wanda chimes in, wrapping an arm around you. “We’ll have a proper girls’ night. Forget about all that for now.”

You smile, feeling a wave of relief. As you settle back, Natasha glances over at you with a knowing look. “So… what about Dean?”

You groan, rubbing your temples. “Oh, God. I completely forgot about Dean.”

Natasha grins. “I can text him, say you got cold feet or something?”

You shake your head. “No, just… leave it. Honestly, with everything that’s happened… I don’t know. I keep thinking… what if Bucky doesn’t feel that way anymore? What if all of that—what I thought we shared—meant nothing to him?”

Natasha sighs, squeezing your hand. “Look, whatever you decide to do, I’m here. I’ve always got your back, babe.”

She pauses, giving you a smirk. “But you know… we’d choose you in the divorce, right?”

You let out a laugh, grabbing a pillow and swatting her with it. “There will be no choosing! And no divorcing! Bucky and I… we’ve been friends since we were five. I don’t know what I’d do if he… if he really was out of my life for good.”

Natasha’s gaze softens. “Then don’t let him be. You’re braver than you think. Just… be honest with him. You might be surprised by what he has to say.”

You fall quiet, her words lingering, filling you with equal parts hope and dread as you lay back, trying to gather the courage for whatever comes next.

The sun is bright, and the streets are bustling as you and Natasha stroll through the city, bags in hand and laughter spilling between you as you move from shop to shop. It feels like old times, light and easy, and after last night’s heart-to-heart, you’re almost… hopeful.

You’re telling Natasha about the cute little coffee shop you spotted around the corner when, out of the corner of your eye, you catch sight of a familiar head of tousled hair. You stop mid-sentence, freezing as you take in the scene just a few yards away: Bucky, hand in hand with Kate, both of them laughing, utterly absorbed in each other.

Your stomach sinks. You watch, feeling your heart twist as Bucky leans down, pressing a soft kiss to her temple, his smile wide and unguarded in a way you’d never been able to see up close until now. He looks… happy. Truly, genuinely happy.

Natasha’s gaze follows yours, her face tightening with sympathy as she watches you take in the scene. “You okay?” she asks softly, though you can tell from her tone that she already knows the answer.

You tear your eyes away, blinking quickly to clear the sting in your eyes. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s… let’s just keep going.”

Natasha squeezes your arm, and the two of you turn, heading back down the sidewalk. But as you walk, a hollow feeling settles in your chest, everything from the night before swirling in your mind—the confessions, the memories, the what-ifs. And now… this.

By the time you reach the next shop, you’ve already made up your mind. Bucky Barnes doesn’t think you’re worth it, and that’s that. Whatever you felt, whatever might have been between you in the past, it’s all in your head.

You glance over at Natasha, forcing a smile. “You know what? Let’s just forget about Friday. I’m not gonna… I don’t want to dwell on it anymore. He’s happy. I’m happy for him. I think… I think it’s time to just move on.”

Natasha studies you, a trace of concern in her eyes, but she nods, letting it go for now. “Okay. We’ll let it go. But… if you ever want to talk, you know I’m here.”

You nod, grateful. And just like that, you tuck the memories away, pushing everything—Friday night, college, all of it—back into a box in your mind.

After a long day of shopping, you and Natasha are finally heading back. She raises an eyebrow at the bags in your hands. “You know, you’re welcome to crash at mine again tonight if you don’t feel like facing him.”

You shake your head, trying to laugh it off. “Nah, I’ve got some work I need to finish up on my computer. Plus, I already paid rent for the month, and you know better than anyone how ridiculous rent is in New York. Can’t avoid him forever, right?”

Natasha gives you a look but doesn’t push it. “Well, you know where I am if you change your mind.”

You thank her and give her a quick hug before parting ways, gathering every ounce of courage as you head home. But when you open the door to your apartment, your heart sinks: Bucky’s there, sitting on the couch—with Kate. She’s nestled beside him, looking as comfortable as if she lives there.

As soon as you step in, Bucky’s eyes shoot to yours, and the intensity in them nearly stops you in your tracks. You can read him too well, even now. In those blue eyes, you see a mix of emotions flickering back and forth—regret, sadness, something that almost looks like relief—but you have no idea which is for you and which might be for Kate.

Kate is the first to break the silence, greeting you with a friendly smile. “Hey! How are you? Did you have a good weekend?”

You put on your best casual smile, keeping your gaze mostly on her and avoiding Bucky’s searching eyes. “Yeah, it was nice. Just got a little shopping done with Nat.” You hold up your bags, laughing softly. “Guess I went a little overboard.”

Kate laughs, glancing at the bags. “Looks like you did some damage! Special occasion or just a treat-yourself kind of day?”

You hesitate, then, glancing between the two of them. “Well, I’ve got a date on Saturday,” you say lightly, shrugging. “Needed something nice.”

“Oh!” Kate’s face lights up. “Natasha mentioned that on Friday. I’m so happy for you!” She’s smiling warmly, but you can still feel Bucky’s gaze piercing right into you, as if he’s trying to read something hidden just beneath the surface. He doesn’t say a word.

You force yourself to look away from him, meeting Kate’s eyes. “Thanks,” you say, giving her a polite nod. “Anyway, I should go put all this away.”

“Sure thing!” Kate laughs again. “Hey, if i dont see you before then, good luck on your date—he’s a lucky guy.”

You manage a smile, your heart twisting in ways you don’t want to acknowledge. “Thanks, Kate. You two have a good night.”

As you turn to head to your room, Bucky finally speaks up, his voice a little rough. “You don’t have to go, you know. You can hang out with us.”

You pause, turning just enough to look at him, this is the longest you’ve gone without speaking to him and the words that come out cut your throat, you shake your head. “No, I’m okay James….thanks, though.”

And with that, you disappear into your room, shutting the door softly behind you. Only then do you release the breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding, leaning back against the door and closing your eyes as you try to settle your racing heart.

----

The week passed in a fog of work and silence, each day dragging as you went through the motions with an ache in your chest that you couldn’t shake. It felt surreal to be in the same office as Bucky, the silence between you heavy and stifling. The two of you used to share everything—your worries, victories, and endless conversations. Now, there was a chasm between you, one neither of you seemed willing to bridge. Each day stretched endlessly, and this was the longest you’d gone without speaking to him in as long as you could remember.

At first, you tried to keep things normal, focusing on your work, staying in your lane. But the tension between you was like a third person in the room, and it made everything feel unsteady. You couldn’t help stealing glances at him, watching the way he laughed with the others, though even that sounded hollow. You missed the easy camaraderie, the inside jokes, and the playful banter. Now, every moment felt loaded, thick with unsaid words and unspoken longing.

By Wednesday night, you were drained—emotionally and physically exhausted. You’d promised yourself you’d join the group for Wing Wednesday, but as the day wore on, a familiar dread settled in your stomach. The thought of sitting across from Bucky, acting like everything was fine, felt impossible. So, you stayed home, scrolling mindlessly through your phone, wishing you could shake the emptiness that clung to you.

The next evening, desperate to clear your mind, you found yourself at the grocery store. You wandered the aisles, filling your cart with essentials, hoping the routine task would offer a brief escape. You were reaching for a can on the top shelf when a familiar voice broke through your thoughts.

“Hey! You’re alive!”

You turned to see Steve approaching, a wide grin lighting up his face. He pulled his cart up next to yours, his eyes warm with that steady kindness that always made you feel a bit lighter.

“Yeah, just barely,” you replied with a faint smile. “It’s been… a rough week.”

“We missed you at Wing Wednesday,” he said, his tone light but laced with concern.

You sighed, biting your lip. “Yeah, I just… wasn’t feeling up to it.”

Without asking, he reached over and took a couple of your bags from the cart, lifting them effortlessly. “Let me help you with these.”

You walked beside him, the weight of your bags lightened by his presence. The chill of the evening air hit your face as you stepped outside, a reminder that life was still moving around you, even as you felt stuck.

“Thanks, Steve,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

He glanced over, his expression growing serious. “Hey… don’t push the rest of us away. Don’t push me away because of Bucky and his nonsense.”

A sad laugh escaped you, more bitter than you meant it to be. “I’m not trying to, Steve. It’s just… hard. It’s been hard for so long, and… I don’t think I can keep doing this.”

Unshed tears blurred your vision, and you looked down, trying to keep them at bay.

Steve’s expression softened, his voice gentle. “I know exactly what you mean.”

You furrowed your brow, glancing up at him with a mix of confusion and curiosity. “What do you mean?”

For a moment, he seemed to weigh his words, as if deciding how much to reveal. Finally, he sighed, a hint of vulnerability in his gaze. “I’ve been in love with someone too… someone who I know doesn’t feel the same way.”

You felt your heart race, wondering who he could mean. You’d always thought of Steve as your steady friend, the one who was always there. A name popped into your head—Natasha, maybe? She was magnetic, effortlessly commanding any room she walked into.

“Who?” you asked softly, not wanting to pry but unable to help yourself.

He hesitated, his eyes flickering with something you couldn’t quite place, before glancing away as you approached your apartment door. Ignoring your question, he murmured, “There’s a difference, though.”

“What difference?”

He paused, then looked back at you, a weight of unspoken words in his gaze. “Yours… isn’t unrequited like you think it is.”

You blinked, his words sinking in slowly. “What are you saying?”

Steve held your gaze, his voice firm but kind. “I mean, you don’t see how he feels about you. You’re letting your own doubts twist what’s really there. You think he doesn’t want you, but I can tell you he does.” He reached up, gently wiping away a stray tear from your cheek, his hand lingering for a moment longer than necessary.

You swallowed, your heart racing. “Steve, I—”

He raised a hand, gently stopping you. “Just think about it, okay? Don’t shut me out. I know you’re hurting, but… my life without you in it would feel empty.”

He offered a soft, bittersweet smile, and gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze before turning to go, leaving you standing at your door, heart pounding and mind racing.

[taintedcigs]

dancing with our hands tied part II — s.h

you can find part I here

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

warnings: 18+ ONLY, minors dni!!, ANGST, making out, swearing, drinking, alcohol mention, JEALOUSY!!! eddie's a bit of an asshole i am sorry, but so is steve sometimes!! and so is reader? idk!

summary: in which steve is in love with his best friend's ex. (wc: 8k+)

a/n: this is part 2 of this fic here !! pls make sure to read it before this!! anddd, im sorry for how confusing the first part was, BUT HERE'S THE HIDEOUT INCIDENT!! and i didn't use POVs this time and i kinda gave up on dates ugrhh. also i have a little bonus content at the end even tho its so a lil silly!!! also did not proof-read this, pls ignore any mistakes or ill scream n d*e

Friday, February 7, 1986 || The Hideout.

Steve stole a glance in your direction, and immediately realized the mistake he had made. 

Jesus fucking Christ.

Why did you have to be so fucking perfect? Why did you have to have the most contagious laugh that immediately brought a warm smile to his lips? 

Steve leaned against the bar as he watched you further, reveling at the way your eyes crinkled at the corners when you gave Robin a giggle, nose scrunching as you mimicked whatever story you were telling, drawing him in without even having a clue on the effect you had on him.

Your eyes met his for a brief moment, his heart pounded inside of his ribcage when you looked at him like that, as if your eyes were smiling at him. He held your gaze, giving you a subtle nod. 

God, if Steve didn’t tell you how he felt about you soon, he was sure he was going to explode.  

He turned back to the bar, head filled with the idea of opening up to you, he had to do it soon or else—

“Harrington!” Eddie beamed, interrupting his thoughts as he grabbed onto Steve’s shoulders, “You mind helpin’ me out?” He grinned, causing Steve’s brows to furrow. 

“Can you put in a good word for me?” Eddie muttered, hand pointing toward the booth, “What are you talking about?” Steve muttered, his eyes following him.

“Y/N.” Steve hoped to God that Eddie didn’t notice the shock in his eyes, blinking quickly as he tried to control the jealousy building within him. 

“I swear I’ve had the biggest crush on her,” Eddie exclaimed. Steve couldn’t help the way his face fell; he wondered if Eddie could notice it, but by the way he grinned at you, Eddie probably had no fucking clue about his feelings for you. 

“Since when?” Steve sounded bitter, chewing at the inside of his mouth to stop himself, “Uh, since forever, dude,” Eddie said, chuckling.

“Put in a little good word for me, yea? I know you guys are close and shit,” Eddie gushed as he squeezed Steve’s shoulders again, and Steve was tense now, his entire body almost burning with rage and resentment. 

Maybe it was wrong for Steve to be petty about this; maybe it wasn’t fair to you that he spent the rest of the night ignoring you; maybe it wasn’t right for him to act this way, but Steve had been on this rodeo before. 

He was always the second choice, and he knew that he was never going to be someone’s priority. Because of that, his reaction was warranted; at least that’s what he believed. Ignoring you completely while he bitterly watched Eddie make moves on you was the only way he could cope with it. 

And it was driving him crazy, knowing that Eddie was getting under your skin with the advice he got from Steve and learning everything about you from him. 

At first, it was all just some passive aggressiveness, until it turned into something bigger, until you finally couldn’t take it anymore. 

Because there stood Steve, across from the gang’s booth, leaning over the wall as he whispered something into Tammy’s ear—Steve’s ex.

With her shiny blonde hair and her big eyes, she threw him a hearty giggle, sticking to his side, while Steve barely blinked, allowing her to drool all over him.

You had no right to be jealous, not when Steve had no clue about your feelings, not when Steve didn’t owe you a thing, but you couldn’t help the frown on your face as he ignored you all night and was fine with stupid Tammy Thompson being all over him.

Your throat burned with the number of shots you took, you could never handle your tequila, but the numbness was exactly what you needed. Your mind was getting dizzier with Steve being pushed back into your thoughts.

You could feel yourself getting lighter and lighter with each sip, gaze barely holding over Steve’s direction anymore when Eddie had been keeping you company the whole night.

To think Steve was supposed to be your close friend felt like a joke now. The more he was with the blondie, the more you felt your stomach churning, gaze drifting toward Eddie to keep yourself from looking in his direction.

You felt desperate.

Steve probably saw you as the girl who was wrapped around his finger, the girl who followed him around like a puppy. Maybe that’s why he was ignoring you, trying to keep you from clinging to him.

You fidgeted in your seat; not being able to get up and tear her off of him was killing you, and  your head was pounding because of the amount alcohol in your system.

It was getting harder to ignore the jealousy that gnawed at your insides. 

Eddie didn’t seem to notice anything, but Steve did.

With each shot you took, with each step you took closer to Eddie, Steve couldn’t help the sharp pain he felt in his chest, the same rage of jealousy gnawing at him as well. He knew he couldn’t do anything about it, too, so he buried it deeper and deeper until he could make sure those feelings for you were impossible to reach.

You were going to be dating Eddie, and Steve needed to get over you as fast as he could.

Maybe that’s why he didn’t mind the attention coming from his ex.

By the time Steve arrived back at the booth, Nancy and Jonathan were already gone, you were in the bathroom—possibly puking your guts out, and Robin was getting ready to leave.

“What the fuck happened here?” He asked, concern washing over his face. “She drank a bit too much,” Robin mumbled, knowing how much Steve cared about you.

“You should maybe check on her, yea?” She gave Steve an all-knowing look, causing him to shrug.

“I can’t—” Robin interrupted him with a death glare.

“I would, but I have to go or my mom will actually kill me this time,” She groaned, saying her goodbyes before leaving in a hurry. 

“Dude, I gotta bail too,” Eddie puffed his cheeks as he put on his leather jacket. “What?” Steve asked, baffled.

“She’s wasted!” He exclaimed, his eyebrows shooting up quickly, causing Eddie to shrug, “She’s probably puking her guts out right now, she needs you.” Steve’s eyes narrowed; he couldn’t believe that Eddie would even think about leaving you alone in a condition like this. 

“Gross, dude,” Eddie said, making a face as he cringed, causing Steve to roll his eyes. 

“Real fuckin’ mature, Munson.”

“You drop her home, man, I’m too fuckin’ hammered for all of this.” He gave Steve’s shoulder another tight squeeze; this time Steve was sure his blood was boiling, his eyes darkening with each word Eddie spoke.

This asshole had the audacity to use him to try to date you, and he couldn’t even fucking treat you, right? Steve shook off his thoughts before he could do something he knew he would regret.

Eddie was his best friend, and he could never let his feelings for you get in the way of you actually being happy.

“Are you going to get a cab?” Steve asked, “Yeah,” Eddie muttered mindlessly.

“Then give me your jacket.” Steve’s tone was now cold, almost demanding, and his demeanor changing within seconds was throwing Eddie off, 

“No fuckin’ way,” Eddie chuckled mockingly, he didn’t notice the serious gaze Steve holds.

“Dude, your house is five minutes away, you’ll be fine, just give me your jacket,” He demanded again.

“Why the fuck would I do that?” Eddie spat.

“Because you asshole, it’s the middle of February and Y/N is wearing a fucking dress, it’s the least you could do for leaving her like that.”

“Why don’t you give her yours?” Steve didn’t know how to control the rage coursing through his veins.

“Do you see me wearing a fucking jacket?” Eddie was sure he had never seen Steve like this, with those veins in his forehead visible as he could feel his fists clench. Eddie’s eyes widened, clearly taken aback by Steve’s bizarre behavior.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Eddie mumbled before taking off the jacket with a few huffs escaping from his lips.

“There, you happy, man?” Eddie hissed, almost tossing the jacket toward Steve, “Fucking ecstatic,” Steve replied with an angry smirk.

Steve sighed before he made his way to the bathroom. Not knowing what was waiting for him inside, he knocked on the door hesitantly and asked, “Y–you okay?” The shakiness in his voice was exposing him.

A faint ‘Yeah’ was all he heard before you unlocked the door.

And there you laid on the dirty bathroom tiles, your hair disheveled, make-up smudged, and you could barely get your head up from the toilet seat.

Steve’s heart sank, guilt settling in his insides again like an old friend. He knew he couldn’t always take care of you, and he knew that you’d be with Eddie soon, but he couldn’t help but feel the crushing weight of guilt when all of this could’ve been avoided if he was just there for you. 

And his mind was still reeling about the fact that Eddie dared to leave you like this.

Would the fucker even be able to treat you right?

“Want me to help you?” He asked, hands itching to reach out and hold you, but you dismissed him like it was nothing, like he didn’t mean anything to you anymore, and it had only been an hour since Steve had learned that Eddie was into you. 

“No,” Even when you were this messed up, you held onto your grudge, shutting out any feelings of understanding or empathy toward Steve, even though he was only trying to help you out.

“I can help, to, you know—hold your hair and stuff,” He stuttered, he had never been this nervous around you.

You flushed the toilet as you attempted to get up, “I’m not—I didn’t throw up,” Your words were slurred.

“If you… if you feel like throwing up, I can—”

“No!” You exclaimed a bit too loudly, throwing him a cold stare. “I’m just trying to help you, Y/N.” His tone sounded disappointed, but you could care less when he had acted like a jerk most of the night.

“I don’t need your help,” You snapped while flushing the toilet, trying to stand still, your head growing dizzier each time you moved.

Steve breathed a heavy sigh and said, “Here.” He ignored your protests as he helped you up, warm hands were tight around your waist. If you weren’t this embarrassingly drunk and a huge mess, you would’ve started getting your hopes up.

But not after today, not after he ignored you to be with Tammy Thompson all fucking night.

“I got it!” You spat, trying to free yourself from his hold. “Let me help, please.” This was the most genuine he had been tonight, his voice almost pleading as he threw you that pitiful look, and you hated it.

You hated being the one Steve pitied and not the one he pined after, but you swallowed your pride when you realized you couldn’t even walk properly.

You barely questioned everyone’s absence when your mind was filled with Steve. 

And once he dragged you out of the bar, you couldn’t help the petty words that escaped your lips; you couldn’t stop them even if you wanted to.

“You can get back to your girlfriend now,” You muttered bitterly, your voice clear. There was venom in your tone, and your grudge was poison with the way it seeped into your words.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Steve sighed, and you lightly pushed him off of you as you stood still on your own.

“Does the name Tammy Thompson ring a bell?” You narrowed your eyes. You wish you could tape your mouth right now and stop yourself from spilling so much of your feelings to Steve.

“What does that have to do with anything, Y/N?” His tone remained cold now; your heart was in his hands, and he was squeezing it each time he distanced himself from you. 

“You’re such a fucking hypocrite,” Each time you dismissed him, you unknowingly tore open the old wound in his heart, keeping it fresh. 

“If—if you wanted to take care of me so badly, then why did you ignore me all fuckin’ night?” Your face heated with anger, and your tone was tinged with frustration. 

“Should go back to fuckin’ blondie over there,” You muttered under your breath, avoiding eye contact with him, unable to conceal the bitterness you were holding onto. 

“Oh my god,” The realization dawned on Steve at a crawl.

You were jealous of him.

“You are jealous,” Steve couldn’t help the annoying smile on his lips, much to your dismay. You were jealous of him, and as selfish as it was, it was amusing to him. 

“What?” You snapped, eyes narrowing, “I’m not jealous—” The look Steve threw at you was enough to break you. “Jerk,” You mumbled under your breath. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Oh, it dooooeees,” He said, dragging his words out to annoy you further, as he took a step closer to you, almost closing the distance that he had been keen on protecting the entire night. 

He was frustrating, so fucking frustrating, spinning your head faster than all the booze in your system. You couldn’t help the way your eyes grew mellow when he looked at you like that, you wanted to take all of him in. 

This entire day was beginning to grow tiring, from Eddie’s sudden interest in you to Steve’s emotional whiplash, and now, since you couldn’t keep your mouth shut for one goddamn second, he was aware of your unnecessary jealousy. 

“I’m not doin’ this with you,” You slurred again, hands wrapping around yourself almost as an attempt to conceal yourself from him, he could see right through you, and it was making you feel things you were not ready for. 

“W—where is Eddie?” Those were the worst three words that could come out of your mouth. Just when Steve was basking in the glory and the hope that you were jealous of him, you decided to bring up Eddie, and with just his name rolling off your lips, you were re-opening his wounds.

Why not him?

Why was it never Steve?

Steve gulped; physically, he wasn’t sure what step to take would be better, to put a distance between you and him or to put a distance between him and Eddie. 

And even though he knew he would regret doing this like there’s no tomorrow, even though Eddie doesn’t fucking deserve this decency, or you, Steve decided that he can’t do this to his friend. 

“At least he’ll take me home!” You exclaimed so confidently that Steve couldn’t help the dry chuckle that escaped his lips. 

“Yeah, I’m sure he would.” Steve quipped, grinning. He was mocking you again, unaware of your growing frustrations.

“What the hell is your problem?” You narrowed your eyes. “Unlike you, he didn’t ignore me all night to be with his ex, and he gave me his jacket.” Steve chuckled at that, again, frustrating you more and more, each time he opened his mouth. 

With an irritated frown, you shot a sharp glance at him and asked, “Is everything a fucking joke to you?” 

“Do you enjoy making me upset?” You crossed your arms against your chest, “You don’t give a fuck about anyone but yourself!” You snapped, not even knowing know why you uttered those words, you knew better than anyone that Steve wasn’t selfish; he never once put himself in front of his friends, but you were aiming to hurt him, and he was ready to bite back now. 

“You are so fucking ridiculous, I—I can’t do this with you,” You murmured dejectedly, not being able to help it when your voice cracked; he was so embedded in your brain that you couldn’t form coherent words with the space he took up in your mind.

“You have no idea what you’re even talking about,” He whispered, shaking his head. If only you knew.

“Did you actually stop to think about how shitty it makes me feel when you give me these stupid emotional whiplashes?” You asked, and if you dared to get closer to him, you might’ve lost the purpose of the argument, your gaze drooping down to his lips every few seconds.

Steve stared at you blankly; you were unable to make anything out of his expressions, he looked at you as if you never existed to him, on a fucking whim.

Your lips tremble, a telltale sign that you would break soon.

His no response spoke volumes to you, “Of course you didn't.” You gave him a dry chuckle, filled with bitterness, and turned on your heel to walk away from him.

The slight breeze of February air hit you harder than Steve’s words.

He sighed a heavy breath when he heard you gasp at the coldness, hand reaching out to your arm before he spun you to meet his gaze again,

“Watch it, Y/N.” The words slipped past his lips forcefully, his chest puffing down with each breath he took. He was so fucking close that one move from you would change everything.

The tension was palpable; unspoken words and emotions hung in the space between the two of you.

And there it was.

There were his emotions again, filling his gaze quicker than you realized. If you weren’t this shitfaced, you could possibly do something about the ever so slightly distance between you, your foreheads almost touching. But your mind was spinning with endless possibilities. “Or what?” You teased; maybe it wasn’t the right time to do so, but you wanted to push him, make him break, the same way he did to you.

How far was he willing to take it?

His grip on your arm tightened; it wasn’t harsh, but tight enough to send shivers down your spine. And you couldn’t determine a single thing he was thinking again, eyes locked with each other without a single word being spoken.

You could sense his mind wandering off to find you a proper answer, trying to pick his words carefully, but you didn’t want that.

You wanted to know what he was thinking—what was going through his mind when he looked at you like you meant something to him, like he was ready to risk it all.

It was momentarily, but you could see it all—the sudden flint of confidence that didn’t waver enough to be convincing.

It wasn’t long until he returned to the cold demeanor he had been reserving just for you. “No, you’re not fucking worth it,” He muttered, taking a step back before he bit the inside of his cheek—hard. The metallic taste of blood flooded his senses, but he could care less; if he hadn’t done it, he would’ve poured his heart out.

He would’ve risked it all just to see those sparks in your eyes, but with five words, he had managed to kill it, slitting all the possibilities with the sharpest knife he could find.

“W–what?” Your voice cracked, and you fucking hated it. You hated being this weak in front of him, with tears ready to spill every time you had an argument, even over the smallest things.

“Just–Fuck! Look at you,” He didn’t want to say it; he didn’t want to burn this bridge with you, but he knew he had to for his own sake and for you to be happy with Eddie.

“You—you’re all over the place, always relying on others to take care of you, just one fucking night I didn’t baby you…” He shook his head. “And you act like I’m fuckin’ insane for doing that!” His voice was calm and collected, and that was what was throwing you off. How could he relay your insecurities in front of you, crush your heart to pieces, and pretend as if what he was saying was okay?

You couldn’t help it when tears flooded your vision. You tried not to let them get to you, but the alcohol in your system was far too dizzying and hormonal to stop your emotions from flowing. You didn’t know why he decided to utter those words, but it hurt.

Each of the gazes you shared and each word that transpired, deepened the wound in your insides that you didn’t even know existed, your feelings were at the surface, and you were vulnerable at his expense.

But Steve didn’t care. 

“I—I can’t believe you’d say that,” You whispered, blinking the tears away when you took a step back, the hurt subsiding when it transformed into rage. “Fuck you,” You spat, your words weren’t slurred this time, but your vision was blurry again, barely taking another look at him when you started to walk away.

And he didn’t call out after you; he didn’t even flinch. 

You were all alone.

You let your emotions overtake you as you started sobbing, sniffling every once in a while as you tried to comfort yourself. 

Eddie could drop you home, you tried to reassure yourself, you knew there was a payphone close to The Hideout, if you could just walk a few more minutes, you could just call him—but holy fuck, did your feet hurt. You cursed yourself for not listening to Nancy when she told you to wear more comfortable shoes.

You were wobbly now, tears pouring down your cheeks, your smudged mascara distorting your view further, and it was dark out, so fucking dark that it started to scare you.

Your mind reeled more and more, and your chest felt trapped with each shallow breath you took. Eddie would’ve never uttered those words to you, your angry mind decided, Eddie wouldn’t flirt with girls—his exes—in front of you.

Eddie would never give you this sort of emotional whiplash.

And most importantly, Eddie would never leave you like this.

You felt so tired, just wanting to sleep, but you knew you couldn’t turn back now. Your feet were aching, but you’d rather they blistered than see Steve again.

You sat on the ground, relief washing over you when you got rid of your shoes, and the dirty, cold concrete ground felt so comforting that you nuzzled into the leather jacket, arms wrapped around yourself to provide more warmth as you sniffled into it.

You’re not sure if you can ever be with Steve anymore.

Sure, you could still be friends because you did have many big, stupid fights—granted, none of them were like this; this was different. 

This was the first big fight you had with him since you realized your feelings for him, and it hurt.

Steve was not who you thought he was.

He was never going to love you.

He only saw you as his friend, and right now, even that was questionable.

And there you were, pathetically pining after him while he was drooling all over other girls, chasing him down and making a mess of yourself just for him to leave you like this.

You sniffled again; Eddie would never, and he actually was interested in you.

God, how you wished he could find you now, take you home, and whisper sweet nothings into your ear as he tried to mend what Steve broke.

You knew it was selfish, but it was the only way.

Maybe if Eddie could make you forget him completely, he could remind you that you weren’t a mess and that you were perfect.

Your vision blurred again, hot tears were stinging your eyes, but the ground was so comfortable.

Steve was right, you were a mess, you were a huge fucking mess, and you were pathetic, but you didn’t care as you hugged yourself further, head falling into your lap as you let yourself fall more and more into the deep pit of despair.

And that’s the last thing you remembered.

You didn’t remember Steve running after you as he realized how much he fucked up; you don’t remember Steve seeing you curled up into a ball, almost falling asleep.

You don’t remember Steve lifting you up and carrying you before anything bad happened to you.

You don’t remember the apologies Steve muttered into your ear on the ride home, how he checked every few seconds to make sure you were okay, his hands never leaving yours as he wanted to punch himself for even putting you in a position like this.

You don’t remember Steve whispering sweet nothings into your ear when he tucks you in, and you don’t remember him almost staying till the morning to make sure you were okay and didn’t get sick. 

The last thing you remember was the fight. 

You woke up the next morning with a groan, and you were sure no painkiller was going to help the pounding in your head. 

You couldn’t help but cringe when you looked in the mirror, your hair was an absolute mess, the top that adorned your neck was covered with alcohol stains, your make-up was smudged, and you only had one earring.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” You sighed, taking off the dirty clothes as you put on a comfy shirt, your room was as messy as you were, bag on the floor while its contents spilled out, and… a leather jacket?

Slowly but surely, last night’s events came to you in a blur. The last thing you remembered was the fight you had with Steve. 

Both of you spewed some hurtful things at one another, and that’s the clearest you could remember it.

You examined the leather jacket sprawled over the floor, and your brows knitted together, Steve didn’t even have a jacket on last night; you remembered because Robin made fun of him for not bringing a jacket in February when Steve whined about being cold.

You read the tagline; E.M. 

Oh god.

Was it… Eddie? Did he drop you off when you were embarrassingly drunk?

Was Eddie the one who took care of you the whole night while Steve threw you away like a piece of paper?

You remembered the hurtful things he said to you; your mind was too jumbled up to even recall the nice things he said to you afterward.

You knew you have to talk to him, mend your friendship, but all you could think about now was Eddie, how he took care of you, and how he was there for you. 

That day you called him, and he told you in detail how wasted you were and how he had to carry you home. You made up with Steve afterward too, both of you muttering apologies to each other as you promised not to let stupid things get out of hand. 

And that day, Eddie took you on your first date with him. 

NOW

“Buckley, you mind ringing these up for me?” You beamed, throwing her an innocent smile, your eyes wandering off to Steve’s absence next to her.

You gave her the ‘Evil Dead II’ and ‘Dirty Dancing’ VHS tapes nonchalantly, waiting to ask her about Steve.

Robin’s eyebrows shot up, “What kind of a double-feature is this supposed to be, huh?”

“A very fun one,” You said with a slight smirk, handing her a couple of bills.

You scanned the store, he was nowhere to be seen, of fucking course. “Harrington running from me again?” You almost cursed yourself for saying that out loud, but you couldn’t help it, something snarky would’ve slipped out eventually.

You saw Robin almost freeze, her mouth hanging open as her brain short-circuited to find a quick answer.

“I—It’s fine,” You mumbled. “Just tell him I would really like to talk to him. Once his weird tantrum is over?” You commented; it was snarky again, but he deserved it.

Five days had passed since the party, and Steve had been avoiding you like the plague, not returning your phone calls, and sneaking out the back each time you visited Family Video, and it was driving you crazy.

Determined to talk to him, you spent the last few days re-evaluating everything. You wanted to ask him what the fuck he meant—was everything that led to you dating Eddie a lie?

And did Steve never think to tell you this, even once the two of you broke up? His audacity was pissing you off, more than ever now that he was avoiding you.

Then small things started coming back to you in a flash, like the drunken confession you made to him last week.

But you were still clueless about The Hideout. You racked your brain away, but you couldn’t remember it for the life of you. Even the fight with Steve was so vaguely burned into the back of your brain, you simply didn’t want to remember it, or the hurtful words he uttered to you that night.

You had decided to forgive and forget, had no intention of going back to that head space, until recently, when Steve decided to blurt out that he was the one in Hideout, leaving without explaining anything further.

You tried to fish it out of Robin, but she acted clueless, and you tried everything you could do to reach out to Steve, but it was useless.

So that only left you with one thing.

Eddie.

Eddie had told you the day after The Hideout incident that it was he who took you home, detailing everything that happened that night.

You were basically breathless by the time you made it to Eddie’s trailer, knocking on the door, until it hit you.

What the fuck were you doing? Knocking on Eddie’s door when he had no fucking clue what was happening, when he had no idea you and Steve had kissed.

When he had no idea that you knew.

You shook your head in embarrassment as you turned around, about to leave, coincidentally and to your dumb luck, that’s when Eddie had decided to open the door.

He stood speechless when he saw you, his eyes almost bulging out of his head. “Y/N?” He asked, tone barely audible.

“Hi.” You muttered, accepting Eddie’s invitation as he stood aside for you to enter, and you squeezed by him with a quick ‘thank you’

“Look, I know you’re wondering why the fuck your ex showed up at your door but—”

“Oh, don’t worry.” He interrupted

“I do have an idea,” He smirked slightly, causing you to throw him a confused look, you were about to open your mouth, ask a million questions, but he didn’t let you.

“I know everything,” He muttered, and you couldn’t decide his facial expressions. “Steve told me about all of it.”

“And I already told him there was no bad blood between me and you and that it was fine that you guys kissed—”

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

“What?!?” You exclaimed, not expecting Steve to babble about it to Eddie when he had been avoiding you.

“Look, honey, Steve was all blabbering and shit when he came to see me, tellin’ me all this shit about how much he liked you and how sorry he was,” Eddie said with a concerned look.

“And I told him it was all fine, Christ—when did we even date, like 2 years ago?” You didn’t answer him and he sighed. 

“I always knew the two of you had something for each other, I mean, why’d you think I got so jealous anytime you guys hung out together alone? He was definitely—“” He rambled for what felt like minutes, and you were quick to interrupt it, eyes blinking rapidly as you tried to process what the fuck was going on.

“Stop!” You exclaimed, “That’s… uhm– good to know, but not what I came in here for,” You muttered, eyes wandering to the ground.

He threw you a quizzed look, brows knitted up together, “I–I wanted to ask you about something,” You gulped.

“Well, spill it out, sweetheart, you’re makin’ me all nervous and shit.” He gave you a dry chuckle.

“What–what exactly happened that day?” You knew he was going to ask what the fuck you were talking about, so you cut him off before he got a chance to speak.

“At The Hideout… Two years ago.” You could see Eddie almost panic visibly, he didn’t expect it, and did it really matter now, after everything?

“Shit… why won’t you ask Steve about all this?” He scratched his head, it was all awkward, you coming here, asking him something that was two years ago, Steve telling Eddie about the kiss while refusing to acknowledge you… 

It was embarrassing, really, and with each passing minute, a rage fueled inside of you. Sick of the hiding, and the lies. You just wanted the truth, and for Steve to not run at the first inconvenience.

“I would, if he didn’t avoid me like a fucking child,” You spat under your breath, causing Eddie to chuckle. He shook his head again.

“Right, so… I’m assuming since it was two years ago, you won’t be mad at me, right?” He asked, an innocent look spreading over his face, almost fearing as he saw how angry you were at Steve.

You almost rolled your eyes, these two idiots were making your blood boil. “Just want the truth, Munson, then I’ll be gone, I promise.”

“Right!” He chuckled nervously before telling you everything that happened that night.

You called Eddie right after you found his jacket, blabbering like an idiot as you thanked him a million times. While Eddie had no fuckin’ clue what had happened, he was still trying to get over his own hangover, but he wasn’t going to completely shut you down, not when he wanted you this badly, not when you were in the grasp of his hands.

As soon as you hung up, promising him a date, he called Steve, and he didn’t even have to beg him to play along; Steve was just... okay with it.

Steve knew the moment Eddie told him about his little crush that the two of you had no chance and that Steve would only be a little thought in the back of your mind, while Eddie would be the first choice, because why wouldn’t he?

Why would you choose him over Eddie?

And with all the sudden information flooding your mind, you weren’t sure how to react, how to vent all these emotions running through your veins, so you did it the only way you knew how; anger.

You checked the clock; 10.08

Steve’s shift should’ve ended long ago by now, you barely mumbled a goodbye to Eddie when you left, mind focused on one thing.

Steve.

You arrived at his door with your lips tightening and your jaw clenching, you weren’t going to give up now; you were going to talk to him. Now or never.

You knocked on the door so hard that you were sure your knuckles were bruising, and Steve was baffled when he opened the door, mouth almost agape as he looked at the sight in front of him.

“You know what you are? A fucking coward,” You mumbled, not giving him a second to process anything as you shook your head. 

“You are a selfish fucking coward! Do you think you can make decisions for other people? You think you can just take their choices away and pretend like everything is fucking fine!” Steve didn’t utter a word when you let it all out, your words meshing with each other, and you could feel your blood boiling each time you spoke, but it was… weirdly relieving.

All that pent up anger was finally coming out.

“And you told Eddie?!? You fucking talked to him but didn’t have the guts to even face me! Five days, five fucking days, I followed you around, you fucking jerk!” You spat, your eyes flashed with anger as your face came closer to him, he didn’t even flinch, eyeing you curiously, those deep honey glazed eyes were warming the more he looked at you.

And Oh God, was his gaze inviting, so warm, but you couldn’t soften up… not when you still had so much to say.

“Do you know how embarrassing it is for me? No—no… Fuck that! I don’t even give a fuck if it's embarrassing, I’ve been–I’ve been living a lie and you–it’s your fault…” You mumbled the last part, chest heaving, when your fiery gaze met his, he was itching to talk, and you could tell.

“That—that’s a bit dramatic don’t you think?” He muttered, causing your eyes to narrow, “Look why don’t we just go inside and have an adult conversation? No need for these tantrums—” And that hit a nerve. 

“Don’t,” You muttered, closing your eyes, the rage bubbling up to the surface again, gnawing at your skin, waiting to welcome you.

“Don’t you fucking dare to tell me to have an ‘adult conversation’ when you’ve been avoiding me like the plague!” You exclaimed angrily, face heating with anger, Steve nodded, understandingly. He didn’t mean to sound like a jerk, he just wanted to talk to you. He had been debating what to do these last five days, and shutting you out during that was obviously stupid, but that’s how he handled everything, wallowing it all until he chewed his emotions, keeping them hidden.

“What was I supposed to do?” He asked, almost defeated, and it made you want to chuckle, he was sending you over the edge.

“Are you kidding me?” It wasn’t a question; it was stupid for Steve to even attempt to open his mouth.

“You could have talked to me!” You took a deep breath; your anger wasn’t going to help, and if you didn’t talk to Steve as soon as possible, your head might have exploded.

You sighed as Steve stood aside, leading you to the living room, and your anger subsided with each step you took. The familiarity of the house was engulfing you, and you wanted to scream. 

What if Steve had told you this would change nothing?

What if this was it for the two of you?

Your head was swirling, and it hurt, both physically and emotionally. It was taking a toll on you and Steve could sense it.

“What—what really happened… that day?” You asked, voice barely audible as you avoided his gaze.

Steve sighed as he took a seat next to you on the couch, hand itching to lay on your thigh, squeeze it to make you feel comfortable, just so you would look at him, but he resisted it, hand flexing as he placed it between the two of you.

“You–you remember our fight?” He mumbled, causing you to nod. “We both said some stupid shit to each other—”

“Well, you started it—” You gazed up at him, and this time he threw you a look, causing you to close your mouth as if to signal him to continue.

“And—and you left… and the second you did, I just felt this horrible fucking pit in my stomach, I could never—I could never leave you like that,” His voice was shaking, hands flexing again as he inched closer to you.

“I found you on the street, Y/N, almost passed out, and I lost my goddamn mind for leaving you alone—even for a second, I ca—I can’t fucking imagine what I would even do if anything happened to one–one fucking strand of your hair—just the thought makes me sick to my stomach—Jesus.” He muttered, face still toward you as you could trace it now, the worried lines etched onto his forehead, a frown taking upon his usual plump lips, voice cracking as you could sense it, the utter worry and desperation in his voice. 

You couldn’t open your mouth, words failing you as you opted out to hold his hand instead, a small gesture, but one that made Steve’s entire stiffness disappear. One touch from you warming him up immediately.

“I took you home as fast as I could—I tucked you in, made sure you didn’t get sick, and then I left.” 

“Why?” You asked, meekly.

“Why did you let me believe it was him? Why did you ignore me that night?”

“It–it doesn’t matter now,” He mumbled, and your brows furrowed again, fury still locked up inside of you.

“It fucking does!” You snarled, insides burning with anticipation and anger.

“Stop being a fucking coward,” You yelled, you didn’t want to scream at his face, but he left you with no choice. If you wanted to talk to him, you had to get some things out of him, no matter how much it angered you.

“Just tell me, Steve, full transparency, I want it all out.”

Steve’s silence caused a groan out of you, “If you don’t, I’m gonna leave… for good,” You whispered. 

You were bluffing; you weren’t going to go anywhere without getting some closure, but Steve didn’t know that, and he had never seen you this riled up, so he sighed when you got up.

“I didn’t want to lose you!” He got up after you, staring at your back for a full minute until you turned around to meet him, a quizzed look overtaking your features.

“What?”

“God! I wanted to—Shit. I wanted to tell you about how I felt, but then Eddie came and he told me all about how he had feelings for you, and, uh, I just panicked— so fucking hard. I knew you would have chosen him, and I had that rejection one too many fuckin’ times, and I—I knew I couldn’t handle it from you!” He exclaimed, breath ragged as his brown orbs looked at you with such sympathy that you wanted to drop everything and kiss him, tell him that he would always be your first choice.

“I knew you would choose him and—” 

“I didn’t want to be a second choice again, Y/N, I was so fucking scared—” You shook your head.

“Steve you—god, you have no fucking clue about anything,” You chuckled dryly, interrupting him.

“When you ignored me for Tammy that night, when you told me that I wasn’t ‘worth it’ that’s when I decided to contain my feelings for you, I knew you didn’t like me for anything more than friends—I always thought we had a ‘will they won’t they’ kind of relationship but that night, confirmed it for me,” You looked away, almost ashamed, face burning up.

“I felt so fucking desperate—like you wanted to push me away like I was an idiot girl who was clinging onto you, and now everything is just so confusing that I don’t even know what is going on.” Your hands ran through your hair.

“But you were and will always be my first choice,” You didn’t mean to smile, but it just appeared, anger washing away. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you,” You muttered, and Steve’s entire demeanor changed, his body relaxing as he realized how much of an idiot he had been.

“What?” He asked, baffled, a small smile overtaking his lips before you could say another word. 

“Yeah,” You murmured, taking a step closer to him, 

“So… we’re both idiots, huh?” He asked, basking in the way you looked up at him, batting your eyelashes as your warm aura engulfed him.

“Hmmm… I’d say it’s more you than me,” You mumbled, scrunching your nose, as Steve huffed playfully, inching closer and closer to you. You didn’t know where this took the two of you, but your mind was so busy when he was standing this close to you.

One strand of his hair fell onto his forehead, and all you wanted to do was run your fingers through them, kiss every inch of his face, run your lips along his soft ones, feel his calloused hands on your curves, grabbing desperately, meek grunts leaving his lips, both of you breathless.

And that’s exactly what you did—without a care, you closed the distance between the two of you with an annoyed huff, fingers running through his shiny hair. 

His hands were quick to land on your hips, grabbing them like he was afraid of you slipping away, once again. And it all felt so easy and familiar that you could feel your head spinning.

His lips brushed against yours softly. You didn’t want this moment to be over, wanting to cling to him forever. Everything he did made you feel foolish and insane, and you understood why being in love felt like losing your mind, again.

Steve groaned into your lips, kissing you harder, once, twice, his lips never fully letting go of you, and you didn’t know if it would ever be enough for you, utterly craving nothing but him.

Your mind was jelly at this point, everything was tangled together while the question of ‘What’s going to happen now?’ lingered in your mind. Did he still want you? Did he still want to be together? Why didn’t he just come to you after talking to Eddie? 

You tried to shake them off, tried to focus on the way Steve’s hands stuck to your body, like they belonged there, and the way his lips moved along yours, like it had always been this way.

You wanted to continue, wanted so badly to not let this moment go, but the bickering voices in your head were too much, and you pulled away slowly. Steve almost groaned when he felt the absence of your lips. He blinked once, twice.

“Oh, fuck. Do that again.” He unintentionally let out, gaze filled with lust as his pupils were blown wide, and a small giggle left your lips. “You are an idiot,” You whispered, your gaze settling on him. 

Was everything going to be okay?

How were you even going to manage to make this work? 

And with that, your expression soured, “Steve,” You said seriously, causing him to look up at you with concern all over his face. “I don’t want to get hurt again.” You murmured, forehead touching his.

“I won’t hurt you, ever.” His gaze was intense, and it made you feel giddy, worries washing away in seconds. You don’t know how he fucking did it, but it worked. 

And you trusted him like no one else. 

You couldn’t help it when your lips twitched into a smile. “You promise?” You gushed.

“With all my heart, honey.” He whispered, taking a deep breath. 

“You have no fuckin’ idea how long I’ve been waiting for this, dreaming about this...”

“I would never, ever do anything to hurt you.” He muttered, his hands tucking the strand of hair that was blocking him from placing messy kisses all over your face. 

“I couldn’t handle losing you, not again,” He murmured before leaning in to press more kisses all over your soft lips.

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

bonus scene: just for shits n giggles idk

“What movies did you get today?” He asked with a childish grin on his lips.

“If you weren’t avoiding me, you would’ve known, pretty boy.” You exclaimed dramatically, crossing your arms against your chest.

Pretty boy.

The only thing that stuck in Steve’s brain was that he was your pretty boy.

And this giddy feeling inside of him was never going to go away, he decided.

He huffed playfully before he grabbed your bag, causing you to gasp. “Let’s see…” He murmured as he tried to find the VHS tapes.

“Aha!” He exclaimed as he grabbed the two of them, turning the cover to see what movies you rented. 

“Oh my god,” He murmured. “A double-feature? For us?” He couldn’t help the way his lips twitched into a smile, so warm that you wanted to bathe in the glory of making him this happy.

“Mhmm… First, Evil Dead II for me, and once Stevie gets scared, we’ll put on Dirty Dancing.” You give him a wink.

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” He groaned. “You are so fucking perfect, I’m gonna lose my mind.” He placed a kiss on your forehead.

another a/n: so this is a bit messy bc i had too many ideas and this is the best i could do to fit them all in, i hope this doesn't feel that disconnected from the first!! work has been kicking my ass lately so my mind is all mushed lmao!! feel free to leave ur feedback and pls comment, like or reblog to support me ily <33

[alittlebitofloveliness]

any soda headcanons?

Hi! I hope these suffice, I couldn't help but throw a little bit of Stevepop in :)

Sodapop Curtis Headcanons

-The Curtis house has a half finished basement which is where the laundry machine is, but the ceiling is FULL of spiders and spiderwebs. Both Darry and Pony are PETRIFIED of spiders, like Ponyboy is jumping from foot to foot and hyperventilating and Darry SHRIEKS when he sees one, so its always Soda’s job to de-spider the basement and he absolutely hates it (he's a little scared of them too, but not nearly as bad as his brothers)

-He has the friendship equivalent of those ‘you cheated on me in my dreams and now I’m mad at you”. One time he dreamed Steve left him stranded at the Dingo and was lowkey pissed at him the next day. Poor Steve was SO confused

-Loves both peanut butter and chocolate by themselves, but HATES when they’re combined together. Bro HATES reeses cups with a passion

-After the Curtis parents died he snuck into their room, stole his mother's half full perfume bottle and hid it in his bedside table. Sometimes before he goes to bed, when Ponyboy is busy brushing his teeth, he’ll spritz a little on his wrist because when he closes his eyes and smells her perfume he can pretend his mom is hugging him again.

-Thinks bananas are spicy (they’re not, he’s just mildly allergic but doesn’t realise it. Everyone in the gang thinks he’s making a joke every time he says it. He isn’t.)

-Him and Steve swing dance together at work sometimes when they’re working alone in the garage and his stomach flutters every time Steve dips him 

-Cannot sing to save his life and does it all the time anyway. Like, he sounds like he’s gargling with rocks, it’s actually painful. Dally has literally paid him to shut up before.

-Steve’s pet cat absolutely HATES him and Soda will always and forever be mad about it because “what did I ever do to her???”

-Can’t remember what his dad’s voice sounded like anymore. It haunts him.

-The easiest way to piss him off is to disrespect Steve in front of him. Sodapop is convinced the sun shines from his grumpy best friend’s glaring eyes, and if anyone doesn’t see that he WILL throw hands, no questions asked

-The Curtis’ have a chore jar full of little slips of paper with the really unpleasant chores they only have to do once in a while written on. Every three months they each draw two each so that way it’s fair who does what. EVERY single time Soda ends up having to clean behind the stove and he’s forever bitter about it because “it looks like a crime scene back there Dar and I know it ain’t just my fault!”

-He and Steve gave each other stick and poke tattoos once but his got SUPER infected. He would’ve had to tell Darry and probably go to the hospital if it weren’t for Evie, who luckily had some training from her tribe’s medicine woman and managed to fix him up.

-Him and Darry do rock paper scissors to decide who has to tell Ponyboy when he has a doctors appointment because Pony always gets SO mad and neither of them wanna deal with him

-Once walked in on Two-bit in an, ahem, compromising position, and hasn’t been the same since

-He used to socially drink pretty often but stopped when he realised how much drunk him really wanted to kiss Steve on the mouth

-Started drinking socially again when sober him kissed Steve on the mouth and the world didn’t end

-He draws faces on the eggs in the fridge, partially because he just finds it fun, but also because it always gets Darry to smile and shake his head fondly, and there isn’t enough that makes Darry smile these days

-Darry made him promise when he first started work full-time that he’d keep half his pay check for himself. He promised, but only ever keeps about 10% of what he makes as spending money. He’s determined to make sure neither Darry nor Ponyboy ever find out

-Wishes he was a bit more like either of his brothers, because even though he loves them more than anything, they have more in common with each other than they willl ever have with him and sometimes he feels like the odd man out in his own family, especially now his mom and dad are gone

-Had asthma as a kid but he grew out of it by the time he turned 10

[steddieas-shegoes]

i'm glad i get forever to see where you end

for @messessentialist's birthday. i already said it all on ao3, but i love you biiiiitch. happy birthday, kissin you on the lips with tongue, cuddling you while we steal cool rocks from national parks (allegedly).

rated e | 14,135 words | cw: minor character deaths offscreen, brief discussion of grief and mourning, alcohol | check ao3 for all tags

🎣🎣🎣🎣🎣

He stares down at the paper in his hands. He thought he’d feel relief, maybe a tiny bit of happiness that he’d never admit to. He even considered that he might feel a small speck of sadness the day his brother died.

But all Wayne Munson feels right now is disbelief and anger, and he doesn’t know where to hide it before Eddie gets home.

“God damn idiot. Couldn’t even have the decency to die of old age. Had to go and get killed behind bars,” Wayne mutters under his breath as he folds the paper and slips it back into the envelope, hoping that keeping it out of sight might help him come to terms with the emotions flooding his chest. “Bullshit.”

Wayne is tired. He feels exhaustion in his bones, even in his fresh retirement.

For some, retirement is a time to reflect on the life you’ve lived and experience the things you couldn’t while you worked and raised a family. For others, retirement never happens at all.

For Wayne, retirement is a reminder that he almost lost his nephew, his son, and the government had to make sure he wouldn’t say a damn thing about how.

He knows he shouldn’t complain, but damn he sure would like to.

And now he has to figure out a way to tell Eddie that his father got killed in prison. The letter doesn’t say much, just that it was violent and the person responsible for his death is facing further consequences. As if Wayne cares about that. As if it helps explain this situation to a boy who already lost enough.

He sighs as he grabs a beer from the fridge and glances at the clock. Eddie should be home soon. He can’t hold onto this for too long; The news will get out soon enough and he’ll hear it from somewhere else, somewhere who won’t take the time to see what Eddie needs.

He takes a sip of the beer, then another, hoping the next taste of the bitter hops will help him decipher what he needs to say to Eddie.

It’s almost a blessing that Eddie doesn’t arrive home for another hour, giving Wayne time to finish his beer and get started on dinner.

Wayne is already prepared to ask Steve to head out tonight instead of linger, using the excuse of making sure Eddie doesn’t need anything before he goes. Usually Wayne finds it endearing, and hopes Eddie can see what’s so obvious there, but not tonight.

But Steve doesn’t walk in with Eddie.

Eddie’s humming something when he walks in, setting his cane against the table before sitting down in a chair and looking at Wayne with a smile.

“Hey, Wayne. How’s your day been?”

Wayne knows he’s about to ruin Eddie’s day at the very least and he’s not sure if he wants that task. He silently curses Al Munson again, wishing for someone to show up and say it was a mistake just so he doesn’t have to do this.

“Oh, boring. Ya know I hate retirement,” Wayne says as he brushes off the stress, tries to figure out a way to lead in to the news naturally. “Too much time on my hands.”

“You love fishing, though. Thought that’s where you went all morning.”

Wayne nodded. “You’re right about that. Guess I just like keeping my mind busy.”

He’s met with silence, which leads him to looking over to the table, where Eddie is staring at the envelope the letter came in.

Why did he leave it out in the open like that? It’s clearly marked from the prison.

“What’s this?” Eddie asks, always curious to the point of danger. “Dad get out?”

This was one of the worst things Wayne ever had to do and that’s saying something. Vietnam wasn’t for the weak, losing the love of his life nearly killed him, and seeing Eddie in a hospital bed after just barely escaping death is something he’d feel deep in his chest for years. But this was up there.

“No, son,” Wayne sighed, turning away from the pot on the stove. Beef stew and bread with butter was one of Eddie’s favorites, but it took a lot of work. That didn’t matter as much as making sure Eddie had support. “They sent a letter to let me know your dad passed away.”

Eddie didn’t look away from the letter. He was playing with the rings on his fingers, replaced by Steve the moment he realized they were missing in the hospital.

“Did they say how?” Eddie finally asked, still not looking up at Wayne.

“They just said another inmate was responsible. I don’t know any details. I’m sorry, Ed. Really sorry.”

And he is. Despite the fact that Al was a terrible father and made Eddie’s life harder than it should have ever been, he knows Eddie must have a lot of complicated emotions.

“Welp!” Eddie claps his hands on his thighs before finally looking back up at Wayne. “Guess that’s that.”

“It…is?” Wayne is trying to watch for any sign of discomfort or sadness, maybe anger. He sees none.

“Yeah. Not like I’ve really had him around to feel much of a loss.” Eddie smiles. It’s not fake, at least not according to Wayne’s judgment. “You’ve been my dad more than he ever was.”

Wayne feels warmth spreading in his chest at the thought of Eddie seeing him as his parent. It makes sense, but he’s never outright said something. Sure, he gave him Father’s Day cards, often handmade. And yeah, he braved a fishing trip every year for Wayne’s birthday because he knew it meant a lot to him. There was that one time he’d called him Dad when he was on morphine in the hospital.

Hearing it changes something in Wayne.

“You really feel that way, kid?” Wayne asks, sitting down at the table across from Eddie.

“Yeah. I kinda thought you knew that already.”

“Guess it’s nice to hear anyway.”

They don’t say anything else. They don’t need to.

A few minutes goes by before Wayne stands up and walks over to the stew, giving it a stir and taking a spoonful out to test the carrots and beef.

“Is that beef stew?” Eddie asks as the scent hits him.

“Sure is.”

“You were worried about how this was gonna go, huh?” Eddie teases, smirk evident in his voice.

“A little. Can’t blame me, can ya?” Wayne decides it’s done and turns off the stove. He’s grabbing two bowls from the cabinet when the front door opens.

“You forgot the meds!” Steve yells as he runs into their kitchen with a bottle of prescription pills in his hand. He freezes when he sees Wayne dishing out stew. “Sorry. Uh. Am I interrupting?”

Wayne laughs around a sigh, reaching up to grab a third bowl.

“No, have a seat, son. Just gettin’ ready to eat.”

Eddie stands and limps his way to Steve, taking the pill bottle to pocket it before he leans further in his space.

“I’m an orphan!”

Steve’s jaw drops and Wayne does all he can not to laugh. It’s not funny, and he knows that Eddie’s probably not processing the news properly yet, but he’d rather laugh than cry.

“Sorry, what?”

“My dad’s dead. The biological one in prison. Rest in peace to the man who gave me, like, two useful skills and musical talent.” Eddie is still leaning into Steve’s space and Wayne’s watching, waiting.

“I’m sorry, Eddie, that sucks.”

“Nah, it sucks that he was such a shitty dad I barely even feel sad that he’s dead.” Ah, there it is. That’s why he’s doing better than Wayne expected. “I’ve got Wayne.”

“Damn right,” Wayne adds as he pulls spoons out of the drawer. “Let’s eat.”

Steve seems lost for a moment as he looks between Wayne and Eddie, unsure what else to say in this admittedly strange situation.

He finally grabs two bowls off the counter and sets them in his and Eddie’s spots at the table.

“Let’s eat.”

- - -

Two days pass before it really hits Eddie.

Wayne’s been waiting.

Nothing major happens. Eddie doesn’t break down in tears or lash out in anger. He doesn’t even mention saying goodbye in some way.

“We should go on a trip.” He says to Wayne while they’re eating breakfast.

“What kinda trip?” Wayne asks without looking up from his newspaper.

“Camping. Or maybe cabin-ing. Somewhere with walls and running water.” Eddie sounds breathless, like he’s run a marathon. Wayne finally looks up and sees the look in his eyes. “Could go fishing and roast marshmallows and swim and stuff. Like that one time.”

He’s talking about the trip they took together a few months after he moved in permanently. His mama was gone and his dad was sitting in jail waiting for sentencing on an armed robbery turned homicide. Wayne wanted to get Eddie’s mind off everything before he had to go back to school, so he took him up to a friend’s cabin at the lake for a few days.

Eddie’s never been an outside person, but they had fun there.

It was the first time Wayne felt like Eddie was his.

It may have been the first time Eddie felt safe with Wayne, too.

“I could see if that cabin’s available. My buddy doesn’t rent it out much anymore so I’m sure he’d be fine with us using it.”

“Could Steve come?”

“Sure.”

He agrees without a second thought.

This is Eddie’s way of seeking comfort in the people he has left, he can see it from a mile away. If Eddie needs Steve to come with them, it’s no skin off Wayne’s back.

Plus, Wayne can recognize how badly Steve needs to relax. He can’t believe someone as young as him walks with so much tension in his shoulders and lines on his forehead.

“Sweet. He’s never been fishing,” Eddie explains. “Or hiking in the right side up. At least not proper hiking. I guess we aren’t really doing proper hiking. I’m wearing jeans. Can’t be real hiking.”

Wayne smiles down at the sports section of the paper, nodding and humming in agreement when Eddie recommends something else for their trip.

- - -

Steve tries insisting on taking his car as his contribution to the weekend, but Wayne tells him they need the space in his truck for all their gear. It occurs to him when Steve just blinks back at him that Eddie didn’t explain how much is actually involved in all this.

But Wayne takes the time to show him some of the stuff he already has packed in the bed of his truck.

“I thought we were staying in a cabin. Why do we have a tent?” Steve sounds nervous when he asks.

“It’s not a full tent. Just a canopy to hang up to protect us from the sun if we get caught up somewhere during our hike.”

“Hike?” Steve turns towards the trailer, glaring at Eddie, who is too busy trying to figure out which of his sneakers to wear to notice. “He didn’t say anything about hiking. I don’t have boots or, or, anything!”

Wayne grabs Steve’s shoulders, looks him in the eye, and lets out a laugh.

“Do ya think Eddie would agree to go on a hike that requires special boots?” Wayne shakes his head. “Don’t think I could bribe him to go on anything but an easy trail unless that Lars guy from Metallica was at the end of it.”

“So I’ll be fine in my Nikes?” Steve clarifies.

“Better than.” Wayne turns back to the truck bed. “I grabbed an extra pole for ya, but it’s a bit short. We can make it work, though.”

Steve stares at everything piled into the truck. Wayne stares at Steve.

He can’t read him quite like he can read Eddie, not yet, but he’s got a feeling that Steve’s overwhelmed by the effort. Wayne doesn’t know much about his upbringing, but he can imagine it was pretty lonely what with his parents being gone more than they were home.

He’s certain Richard Harrington wouldn’t even know how to cast a line, let alone catch a fish.

“Wayne! Should I just bring both?” Eddie’s standing barefoot on the top step of the deck, holding two pairs of sneakers up.

“Sure, Ed.” Wayne looks down at his bare feet and wrinkles his nose. “Don’t forget your socks.”

“Does he do that a lot?” Steve asks, still staring at everything in the truck.

“Not so much anymore. When he’s got a lot on his mind, though, he forgets little stuff. Socks, underwear, eating.” Wayne could go on, but he’s pretty sure Eddie will kill him if he does. “He’s excited for this trip so it probably isn’t at the front of his mind.”

“Right, yeah. I noticed that.” Steve finally looks at Wayne, small smile on his face. Fond, Wayne would say. “He was so caught up on picking up the kids for game night, he forgot the games.”

“Sounds like our boy,” Wayne said, waiting for any kind of negative reaction from Steve at his words.

But Steve’s smile grew, his cheeks flushing a light pink. He looked over at where Eddie had been standing moments ago, and Wayne watches him.

“Steve, I feel like-“

“Wayne! We forgot hot dogs!” Eddie calls from inside the trailer, front door wide open allowing him to see Eddie’s movement by the fridge. “And buns!”

Steve looks back at Wayne. “I can run and get some while you finish up here.”

“I already grabbed them. Check that red cooler and the bag next to it,” Wayne gestured towards three coolers along the side of the truck bed. “He wasn’t payin’ attention when I told him I was packin’ everything.”

“Not surprising.”

“We got it all Ed! Throw your bag in and let’s go!” Wayne calls towards the trailer. “He’s gonna throw a fit about ridin’ in the middle, but that’s what he gets for bein’ a bean pole.”

Steve snorts as he walks over to open the passenger door. “He’ll live.”

Wayne thinks Steve’s gonna fit right in.

- - -

The cabin is off the beaten path. It’s actually off of all paths. They’re lucky that Wayne’s friend visited recently to clear bushes and trees away so they could get to it.

Forest surrounds it on three sides, the lake is in the back.

It’s quiet, an escape for all of them, but especially for Eddie. Whatever thoughts are trying to cloud Eddie’s mind might just float away in the fresh air if he manages to relax enough.

They unload the truck efficiently, bringing everything inside except the fishing equipment, which stays on the front porch so Wayne can load it on the boat before nightfall. He doesn’t bother locking his truck up; There’s no one around for two miles at least.

Steve’s loading things into the fridge and Eddie’s…

“Where’s Ed?” Wayne asks as he grabs his duffel bag to bring to one of the bedrooms.

“Said he wanted to see how cold the water is,” Steve shrugs, shoving the beer to the side so he can make room for Eddie’s Mountain Dew. “Told him it’s probably not that cold since it’s August.”

“Anything less than boiling is too cold for that one,” Wayne chuckles. “I’ll go load the boat.”

He goes out the back door, immediately locating Eddie at the water’s edge. At least he didn’t go far. He was a bit of a flight risk at the best of times and these weren’t really the best of times.

His shoes and socks are off, sitting in the mix of sand and rocks that make up the shoreline. The rocks are smooth, worn down over thousands of years of water and animals and people. Perfect for skipping across the top of the water, splashes disrupting the calm of a lake with few visitors this close to the end of summer.

Wayne showed Eddie how to skip rocks years ago, not on this lake, but a much smaller one that they’d visited for the day the summer before he started high school. It took him about 100 tries before he got it, but when he did, he’d beamed back at Wayne, proud of himself for possibly the first time in his life.

But he’s not skipping rocks now. He’s standing at the shoreline, where the small waves break against the sand, staring out at the horizon. Wayne is tempted to leave him be, but he can’t.

He walks up behind him, makes sure to clear his throat so he isn’t completely startled when Wayne stops right where the water stops. It licks right at the toes of his boots, but they’re his work ones, steel-toe.

Eddie turns and gives him a small smile.

“Sorry, just wanted to dip my feet in.” Eddie apologizes as if Wayne would care that he’s already finding solace in the solitude of the lake.

“Stay out here as long as you want, kid. You okay?” Wayne watches as Eddie’s hands curl into fists and then relax against his thighs.

“Yeah. Thanks for bringing me out here. I’ll help load the boat,” Eddie offers, already turning towards Wayne fully and taking a step out of the water. Wayne holds his hand up to stop him. “What?”

“I got it. You can help pack the cooler in the mornin’.”

Eddie shrugs and turns back to the lake.

Wayne watches him for another minute, silent so he doesn’t disturb whatever thoughts are brewing in Eddie’s head.

As he walks back to the porch to grab the tackle boxes and poles for the boat, he sees Steve watching Eddie out the kitchen window, concerned frown and furrowed brow on his face.

Steve doesn’t notice him.

- - -

The first night is Wayne making dinner while Steve and Eddie argue over which side of the queen sized bed they’re sleeping on. He can’t help but laugh at how quickly it went from calmly suggesting the other person sleeps on the window side to personal insults.

When he hears Eddie say something about Steve’s hair being too big, he shouts for them to join him.

Dinner is relatively peaceful considering the warzone that was their shared bedroom moments before sitting down to eat. Everyone enjoys the chicken and green beans Wayne cooked, barely leaving any for leftovers. They talk about their plans for the morning, and Steve offers to clean up after they eat so Wayne can have an early night.

It’s kind of him, but he already knows their arguing is just gonna wake him up if they haven’t settled on the bed issue.

“How about you take turns sleepin’ by the window?” Wayne asks before agreeing to an early bedtime. “That way it’s fair.”

“But who has to sleep there tonight?” Eddie asks, sticking his tongue out at Steve.

“Rock, paper, scissors?”

“That’s stupid.”

Wayne raises his brow at Eddie’s crossed arms. “Draw straws then.”

“We don’t have straws.” Steve looks around the kitchen, trying to find something they can use in place of straws, but fails. “It’s fine. I’ll take the window.”

Wayne can tell he doesn’t want to, and he’s pretty sure he can guess why neither of them is thrilled with sleeping directly under a window that looks out into a dense forest, but Steve’s a self-sacrificial kind of guy. That’s been clear for as long as Wayne’s known him.

He also knows that Eddie, even as stubborn as he is, wouldn’t let a friend feel uncomfortable.

“I’ll take it tonight.” Eddie offers.

“No, it’s okay. I can take it.”

Wayne rolls his eyes. “Y’all will argue over anything.”

Steve and Eddie both turn to him with matching grins. “Mhm.” They agree in unison.

“Eddie takes window tonight,” Wayne says. “Steve can have it tomorrow night. Whoever catches the biggest fish this weekend gets to pick on the last night.”

“Sounds fair,” Steve nods, turning to Eddie to see if he agrees.

“Sure. Fair.” Eddie stands and starts clearing the drinks from the table.

Wayne decides to leave before he gets dragged into a new disagreement. He’s only got so much patience.

He’s not surprised to hear them go out the back door after the sun sets, voices quiet, but still audible through Wayne’s open bedroom window.

They don’t go far, just past the porch, about halfway to the water.

“You know, my dad would never have done anything like this with me,” Steve states, only a small hint of bitterness in his tone. “He didn’t believe in bonding time or whatever. Thought that was for fathers and sons who didn’t have a family business to maintain.”

“My dad never did either.” Eddie says back, and Wayne’s heart stops in his chest. “Probably couldn’t have stayed sober enough to make the drive to a place like this.”

Wayne waits for Steve to say something, anything. He waits for so long, he’s tempted to look out the window and see if he can see them under the light of the moon.

“Your dad didn’t deserve you,” Steve finally says, quieter than they’d been before, like he didn’t want to disrupt the quiet night with his words. “And you deserved better than him.”

“I had Wayne eventually. I have Wayne now.” Eddie replies just as quietly. “And you do too, ya know.”

Wayne isn’t much of a crier. He’s only done it a handful of times. But Eddie’s words make his eyes well up and his throat burn.

“He barely knows me,” Steve tries to argue.

“He knows enough. You were there for the worst of my shit. You still stick around. You’re here right now even though you could’ve turned down his invitation.” Eddie sounds like he’s holding back tears now. “If you mean a lot to me, you mean a lot to Wayne. You’ll just have to get used to it.”

Wayne wishes he could be a part of this conversation, or at least be able to see them both. He’s respecting their space as much as he can, though. He’s laying in his bed and biting back tears the way any respectful uncle would.

“I’m not used to meaning so much to someone.”

Wayne isn’t sure he hears him right, his voice breaking halfway through, but Steve couldn’t have said anything else.

He should stop listening. This is turning into something else entirely, he thinks. He shouldn’t hear whatever Eddie says next.

“You mean everything to me.”

Wayne closes his eyes, holds his breath, hopes that if Steve takes it the way he knows Eddie means it, that this doesn’t turn into a real fight. He hopes that Steve’s reaction is kind, even if it’s not what Eddie wants.

Wayne’s almost grateful that he can’t hear what Steve says next. Whether it’s rude or loving, he doesn’t want to be a part of this moment like this. He can’t close his window, they’d hear it. He can’t leave his room, he’ll just be in view when they come back inside.

He waits one minute, two, three. He hears a twig snap and then quiet giggling.

He smiles to himself as he hears footsteps heading back towards the cabin.

🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸

Eddie wakes up with Steve’s arms around him and something bubbling in his chest.

Could be heartburn, or it could be the love that’s been growing inside him for months.

He remembers their conversation last night, looking up at the stars and listening to the leaves gently brushing against each other in the breeze, and he can’t help the blush on his cheeks. When Steve kissed him last night, he was pretty sure he was dreaming.

This wasn’t a dream, though.

They stayed up way too late. Eddie knew the moment he looked at the clock as they got into bed and saw 1:48 in bright red that he’d struggle today.

He could hear Wayne moving around the cabin, probably making coffee and breakfast for them since they’d need an early start for fishing. It wasn’t Eddie’s favorite thing to do, but Wayne loved it, and Eddie loved Wayne.

Steve groaned as he moved one arm above his head.

Eddie looks up at him, blushing harder when Steve’s half-lidded eyes are already looking down at him. He’s smiling, cocky if Eddie’s reading him right.

“Sleep okay?” Steve’s sleep-raspy voice asks, fingers gliding across Eddie’s upper arm in unknown patterns.

“Mhm. Not long enough,” Eddie admits. “Could stay in bed.”

Steve hums in agreement before seemingly realizing that Wayne’s already up. “Don’t think we can skip out on Wayne, though.”

This is why Eddie has a hard time pushing his feelings down for Steve. He’s done this before, whether he realizes he did or not.

In the hospital, the day after he’d woken up, Steve had stopped by to bring some clothes for Wayne since he refused to leave Eddie’s side. The kids had apparently been hounding him to take them with him, but he stood his ground and told them that Eddie needed time with just Wayne right now and that he needed rest.

A few weeks later, Steve could’ve easily taken Eddie home by himself, but insisted on waiting for Wayne to get off of work to do it.

Just a week ago, Wayne had forgotten a few things at the store, and when Steve overheard him grumbling about having to make another trip, he offered to go.

That’s just who Steve is.

Eddie loves him for it.

“Yeah. He’d be so bored without me scaring the fish away with my constant humming and leg jiggling,” Eddie agrees seriously. “Wouldn’t want him to miss me.”

Steve lets out a loud laugh, and Eddie hides his pleased smile in Steve’s chest.

He can’t believe he’s doing this right now, can’t believe Steve’s arm tightens around him, pulls him closer so all he can feel and smell is Steve.

“You could just stay quiet while we fish,” Steve suggests, as if Eddie hasn’t thought of that already. “Just for a little bit.”

“That sounds boring.”

Steve pokes Eddie’s cheek with his other hand. Eddie nips at his fingertip before Steve can pull away. They both laugh.

It’s easy.

A knock on the door interrupts the casual cuddling, but Eddie knows it’s not because Steve’s ashamed to be caught with him like that. Steve isn’t used to this being okay.

“You boys up?” Wayne’s voice is barely muffled through the door, something Eddie notes for later.

“Yeah!” Eddie calls back, though he probably didn’t need to speak more than normal volume.

Steve is tense below him. Eddie hates that.

He tries to soothe him by running his hand along his side, memorizing the bumps of his scars, keeping his breathing even so Steve would calm down. Wayne wouldn’t walk in without Eddie telling him he could, but Steve must’ve assumed he didn’t respect his space that much.

“Breakfast is done. Just made eggs and toast.” Wayne knocks once more on the door before they can hear his footsteps walking back to the kitchen.

Steve relaxes and sighs.

“You don’t have to do that.” Eddie still traces along the scar on his hip. “Wayne’s cool.”

“I know.” Steve goes to sit up, but Eddie holds him down. “Eddie, I know. It’s okay. I didn’t mean to react like that.”

“There’s a price to pay before you get up.”

Steve snorts. “And what’s that?”

“A kiss.”

Steve kisses the top of Eddie’s head.

“Unfortunately, I won’t be accepting that form of payment.”

Steve’s hand cups Eddie’s cheek, thumb rubbing slowly as he guides his face up to look at him. Eddie hopes he can’t feel the heat on his skin, but the odds aren’t great.

“One kiss.”

“Only one?” Eddie pouts.

“Don’t wanna get carried away when we’re supposed to be getting up.” Steve leans in until his breath is hot against Eddie’s lips. “So one kiss and then you let me leave so we can go fishing with your uncle.”

“Fine.” Eddie can’t help smiling into the kiss. It’s quicker than he wants, but it’s perfect. When Steve pulls away, Eddie groans and falls flat on his back. “What if we fake sick?”

“You’re ridiculous,” Steve laughs as he gets out of bed and tries to get changed into regular clothes.

Eddie watches him, can’t wipe the smile off his face as Steve nearly trips over his own pant leg. He doesn’t even care if Steve catches him looking, not anymore.

He gets to look now.

After Eddie’s confession last night, after their first kiss, and the second and third, and talking for two hours by the water, it was pretty obvious that they were skipping over that new relationship awkwardness. Eddie hadn’t quite said he loved Steve, and Steve hadn’t said it either, but actions spoke louder than words. The way they couldn’t stop touching, the way Steve looked at Eddie while he talked about his most recent adventure with Dustin, the way Eddie watched Steve throw rocks as far as he could into the depths of the lake, it was all love.

“If you keep looking at me like that, I’m never leaving this room.” Steve is looking at him as he buttons his jeans and Eddie is considering sending Wayne on his own.

He waited months for this, but now it felt like waiting another hour was too much.

“Looking at you like what?” Eddie asks innocently.

“Like you wanna eat me.”

“Well…” Eddie wiggles his eyebrows and taps the bed. “I could eat breakfast in bed if you get back in it.”

Steve walks over to the bed, leans over Eddie, gets close enough to nip at his top lip.

“Get out of bed.” He presses a quick kiss to Eddie’s lips before walking to the door. He leaves it open as he leaves the room without looking back.

Eddie curses Steve’s ability to get him to do anything, and reluctantly gets out of bed. He throws on his shorts, a tank top, and ties his bandana in his hair so he doesn’t have to worry about it sticking to his forehead.

When he gets to the kitchen, Wayne and Steve are staring out the window and whispering.

“I didn’t think we’d see a marsh hawk. Population’s been down for the last decade,” Wayne’s saying as Eddie walks up on his other side. “I’ve only seen one before and that was during a trip to Lake Michigan when I was 14 or 15.”

Eddie looks out the window, trying to see what they see. He’s not sure what a marsh hawk looks like, but he’s assuming it’s one of the birds in the nearby trees.

Steve wordlessly points it out to him.

“That’s a cool bird.” Eddie says at a normal volume. The bird spreads its wings out, acting as if it might take off. It’s beautiful, the white along its beak and chest a stunning contrast to its dark brown wings.

“It’s good luck to see one in some cases,” Wayne whispers as he turns away from the window. “Seeing one on your wedding day is supposed to lead to a long and happy marriage.”

“Too bad no one’s getting married here today,” Eddie remarks as he grabs a plate and starts to scoop eggs onto it.

“Not married. But still good luck,” Steve mutters as he follows Eddie. “So we just have to grab the cooler on our way out?”

Wayne nods. “And the bait.”

“I thought we used plastic stuff.”

“We use lures, but we put worms on there to get the fish to actually bite,” Wayne explains. “I’ve got plenty of stuff for bass, but I dunno how lucky we’ll be.”

Eddie nods along as he takes a huge bite of toast. “One time we forgot worms and had to use hot dogs.”

“Fish eat hot dogs?” Steve asks in surprise.

“Some fish settle for hot dogs. They don’t quite realize ‘til it’s too late that it ain’t their food,” Wayne shrugs. “But we got plenty of worms for this trip. Should be perfect fishing conditions.”

They all ate in silence after that, but Eddie could feel Steve’s nerves building the closer they all got to clean plates.

Steve didn’t have to say it for Eddie to know he desperately wanted to impress Wayne, especially now that they were…something. They probably needed to clarify exactly what they were at some point soon. They would. Eventually. Tonight maybe.

Or tomorrow.

“I’ll clean up if you boys wanna finish getting ready.” Wayne offered as he scraped the last of his eggs onto his fork.

Eddie took him up on his offer, jumping up to go brush his teeth and get his sneakers on.

“You comin’?” He asks Steve, who’s still slowly eating the eggs he drenched in ketchup.

“Just a second,” Steve replies with his mouth full. “You can use the bathroom first.”

Eddie nods and leaves the room.

He hears the sink in the kitchen running a few seconds later, and the hushed voices of Wayne and Steve having a whispered conversation. He could sneak back, try to listen in, but he thinks that maybe Steve needs this minute alone with him.

He finishes what he needs to do quickly, though, and admittedly sneaks back towards the kitchen quieter than he normally would, hoping to overhear something interesting.

But all he walks into is Steve laughing as Wayne smiles back.

Eddie doesn’t find that he minds much, as long as they’re both happy.

🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸

Being on the boat is different as an adult.

The last time Eddie fished with Wayne on a boat, he was barely shoulder height on him and 100 pounds soaking wet. It was a much smaller boat, though, barely fit two grown adults comfortably.

This boat, however, was built for a family of at least four adults. The awning covered half of the boat, so Eddie didn’t have to sit in direct sunlight when the sun finally rose.

Steve stood to the side, watching Wayne prep the lures and bait, casting his own line out and reeling it in until it was taut. Eddie went next, making a show of it just like he always did. Wayne doesn’t comment, just shakes his head and smiles fondly as he watches the water.

“Um,” Steve starts. “I guess it’s my turn.”

Eddie’s pretty sure Wayne knows Steve’s nervous. It’s hard not to tell with how quiet he’s been the entire ride to the middle of the lake.

Wayne sets his pole in the stand at the stern, and turns to Steve with his hands on his hips. “You saw how I cast mine?”

Steve nods, but doesn’t look sure. Eddie’s not really used to seeing Steve anything less than confident, even in the face of monsters.

It hits him the moment he thinks about monsters.

They’re on a lake. A lake very similar, though much larger, to the same lake that almost dragged Steve to his death. A lake he’d previously trusted, and no longer could.

Eddie doesn’t say anything, just subtly places his hand against Steve’s hip, offering whatever comfort he can. Steve won’t admit he’s scared, but Eddie doesn’t need him to.

Wayne sees it, Eddie knows he does. But because he’s the best uncle, he doesn’t say anything.

He raises a brow and then schools his features back to a comforting smile before showing Steve how to hold the pole so he can cast it comfortably and far enough out that movements from the boat don’t scare the fish from the hook.

Eddie watches, and he sees the nerves slowly easing from Steve’s shoulders, his forehead, and his arms. He relaxes inch by inch, and Eddie couldn’t be more in love.

Wayne steps back so Steve can cast his line.

When the bobber hits the water, Wayne smiles and pats his shoulder. “Good job, son. Now reel it in a bit so you can feel if something bites. Good. Now we just wait.”

Steve turns red at the praise and Eddie realizes that Steve probably hasn’t heard a “good job” from an adult in a very, very long time.

Eddie’s childhood was fucked, but at least Wayne was there cheering him on, showing him what it meant to be proud of your kid eventually. He’s pretty sure Steve hasn’t had that for most of his life.

“How long do we wait?” Steve asks after a few minutes.

The lake is near silent, and the water is so smooth it looks like glass. If Eddie leaned over, he’d probably be able to see his reflection. The gentle lapping of water on the side of the boat and the distant sound of birds in the trees lining the water’s edge fills the air.

“I usually give it 10 or 15 minutes before reeling it in. Check my bait, maybe change the lure if there’s no bites.” Wayne’s watching the end of Steve’s line as he speaks. “I used bass lures on all of ours, but we might change them up in a minute. See what else is out there.”

Steve nods and turns back.

Wayne doesn’t take his eyes off of Steve’s bobber.

Eddie watches Wayne curiously.

Anytime he’s fished with Wayne, he’s left Eddie to his own devices after showing him what to do. He watches his own line, and only steps in to help if Eddie catches something and doesn’t wanna touch the fish.

Wayne’s eyes widen just as Steve exclaims, “Hey! Look!”

“Reel it in!” Wayne shouts, setting his pole down again and rushing to stand next to Steve.

Eddie turns and watches as Steve reels in whatever he’s caught. Judging by the bend in the pole, it’s a decent sized fish.

“Shit, what if it breaks?” Steve asks, voice shaking with the effort of trying to reel in the fish before it escapes.

“It won’t. Keep going.”

When they manage to get the fish out of the water and into the boat, Steve is breathless.

“Look at that!” Wayne holds up the line, right above where the hook is caught in the fish’s mouth, beaming at Steve. “Our boy got himself a king salmon!”

Ignoring his mention of “our” boy, Eddie steps closer and grips Steve’s shoulder, shaking him just enough to make the boat rock.

“How can you tell?” Steve asks Wayne, reaching out to hold the fish up himself.

“You see all these black spots on his back and fins?” Wayne points at a few of the spots. “Other salmon don’t have this many spots or any at all. You keepin’ him or throwin’ him back?”

Steve looks at Eddie, smile falling as he suddenly looks unsure about what the right thing to do is. Before Eddie can say anything, Wayne wraps his arm around Steve’s shoulders.

“Either is fine with me. Could cook him up for supper if you wanna keep him or send him back to his friends with a new piercing.” Wayne looks over at Eddie. “Eddie ain’t much for seafood, but I make a mean baked salmon.”

Steve nods. “Yeah, think I’ll keep this one.”

Wayne pats his shoulder again before showing him how to unhook the fish safely. He opens up the empty cooler he brought and places the fish inside.

Wayne moves to grab the bait so Steve can set up again, and while his back is turned, Eddie takes a chance.

He leans over and kisses the corner of Steve’s mouth.

“You’re a natural,” Eddie whispers as he leans away again.

“Shut up.” Steve is blushing that same pretty pink that he was last night and earlier this morning. Eddie can’t look away. “Just lucky.”

Wayne catches two rainbow trout and Eddie manages to catch a small northern pike, which quickly gets thrown back when Eddie starts to make up a story about how it’s a teenager who got separated from its parents. Wayne shakes his head as Eddie carries on, but he’s used to it. Eddie never keeps his catch if he’s lucky enough to have one.

They relax as the day warms up, popping open cans of soda as the sun gets closer to the middle of the sky. It’s not about fishing anymore; It’s about soaking up the tranquility of their surroundings.

Eddie isn’t known for being still or quiet, but even he can let himself enjoy this. Every day since March has been about survival, and appointments, and witness statements, and lawyers, and moving, and the kids. He feels like he’s barely even had time to think.

So while he sits on this boat with two of his favorite people, he thinks.

He thinks about how different his life is now, and how different it could still be.

He thinks about how much Wayne has sacrificed for him for most of his life, but especially the last five months.

He thinks about how much he wants to tell Steve he loves him.

He thinks he’ll tell him tonight.

📼📼📼📼📼

Steve sits on the porch while Wayne cleans the fish, staying a good distance away so he doesn’t end up seeing things that’ll make him wish he left the poor salmon in the lake. Eddie’s inside doing god knows what.

He’s never been happier.

He does wish Robin could be here, but she hates the outdoors. She didn’t even like going on her family’s beach trip last month.

Plus, he’s pretty sure he wouldn’t have been able to have the alone time he needed with Eddie last night if she were here. Even though she’s been telling him to just talk to him for the last three months, she wouldn’t have caught on to his plan.

Feeling this much for Eddie isn’t new.

After the events of spring break, Steve took a long, hard look at high school and realized that at least part of the reason he was always staring at Eddie was because he was very interested. He started looking for any excuse to stick around in Eddie’s hospital room, and then offered to take him to appointments, and it continued from there.

Now, they hang out almost every day. Sometimes it’s with the kids, sometimes with Robin, sometimes alone.

Steve realizes that even before they kissed and fell asleep holding each other and flirted as much as possible all day, this was the best relationship he’s ever had. He needs to tell Eddie as soon as they’re alone.

“All done,” Wayne says as he steps onto the porch, the container of cleaned fish in his hand. “You ready to learn the secret to makin’ the best fish?”

Steve is quick to nod, excited that Wayne thinks he’s even worth the time it’ll take to show him. Wayne’s been so kind this entire trip, making sure Steve is involved and welcomed, makes him feel like he belongs in their little family.

As Wayne grabs everything they’ll need, Steve sees Eddie through their bedroom door, writing in a journal, tongue poking between his lips as he concentrates. Steve’s never seen this journal, but he can assume it’s another one of his many already filled with songs and campaign ideas.

“You done starin’ at Ed?” Wayne’s voice is quiet behind him, but still makes him jump with surprise.

“Wasn’t staring at him. Thought I saw a…um…bug?” Steve knows he’s been caught halfway through trying to lie, so he moves on. “Ready?”

“Are you?” Wayne raises a brow and smirks.

“Yes!” Steve puts his hands on his hips. “What are you implying?”

“Mostly that you’re too in love with my nephew to focus on what I’m sayin’.”

Steve feels heat in his cheeks, but he chooses to ignore it and pretend that he can distract Wayne from what he’s saying.

“So we’re frying your fish and baking my salmon?” Steve starts holding up some of the spices Wayne’s set out on the counter. He can feel Wayne’s eyes on him. “Looks like you like spice.”

“Steve.” Wayne sighs. “It’s okay to feel however you feel. I ain’t gonna judge.”

“Right. Yeah.” Steve turns to finally look at Wayne, who looks sad. He shouldn’t look sad right now.

“Eddie ever tell ya about Paul?” Wayne starts filling one pan with oil and the other with a few small pads of butter.

Steve shakes his head, watching closely.

“Paul was my boyfriend when Ed first came to live with me.”

Steve’s eyes widen as that hits him.

“Woulda been my husband had we been able to be married.” Wayne starts mixing flour, salt, and pepper in a bowl while he talks. “He was a long haul truck driver. Gone for weeks at a time. Stayed with me when he passed through. Came home one day to Eddie asleep in the bed we usually shared and asked if I’d been up to something.”

Wayne smiles fondly down at the bowl of eggs, buttermilk, lemon juice, and garlic he’d started mixing together as he spoke.

“Told him everything. Expected him to call it quits. He didn’t sign up for raising a troubled kid, especially not one who may not be okay with what we had.” Wayne stops and looks up at Steve. “But he just hugged me and said he’d follow my lead. Whatever was best for Ed was what was best for us. Ain’t sure I could ever find a love like that again.”

Steve can feel tears trying to form in his eyes, but he manages to bite them back. He’s pretty sure he knows where this is going, but he listens without interrupting.

“Ed didn’t take too well to him at first. Probably ‘cause he was in and out so much, didn’t get time to bond with him like I did. Paul was patient. Always so patient with both of us.” Wayne shakes his head and looks down at the counter before he looks up smiling again. “Ed came out to Paul first, ya know? When he was 13. He’d gone on a short haul with him over the summer and when they came back, they were thick as thieves. Paul told me that night that Ed had told him he liked boys and it changed their entire relationship. I was Uncle Wayne, but Paul was like a dad to him. Definitely more than his own dad ever was.”

Wayne looked over to check that Eddie was still in the bedroom, distracted by his writing.

“Paul started taking short hauls instead of long ones. Only gone three or four days at a time instead of 14-20. Thought it was so he could be close to Ed, since we’d kinda become our own little family.”

Steve realizes he’s holding his breath when Wayne sniffs.

“He’d gotten sick and didn’t tell us. Started out thinkin’ it was pneumonia, but it got worse. Doctor thought it was heart problems, but it was everywhere. Leukemia. Untreatable by the time they figured it out.”

Steve’s wrapping his arms around Wayne before he even realizes he’s doing it, letting the tears fall as he thinks about how much pain Wayne and Eddie must’ve gone through to lose someone so important to them.

“Ed was barely 14 when he passed. I think he took it harder than me.”

Steve can’t even imagine. Wayne lost someone he loved, but Eddie lost a father figure after losing his real father to things he should never have had to compete with. And now Eddie’s father was really dead.

All he really has is Wayne.

“Kid shaved his head in solidarity when Paul lost what little hair he had left,” Wayne huffs a wet laugh as they pull away from each other. “Couldn’t believe it when I got home from work and they were both bald as cue balls. Thought they’d lost it.”

Steve and Wayne are both laughing, and it’s probably going to draw Eddie’s attention, but he kinda hopes it does. He could use Eddie’s closeness right now. He needs to see that he’s okay, that this didn’t completely destroy him, that he went on anyway.

But all Eddie does is yell at them to keep it down, which just makes them laugh harder.

“And you never dated anyone else?” Steve asks as Wayne starts putting his fishin the egg mixture. “Not even for fun?”

“Nah. Once Paul was gone, I had to work more to pay the bills. What little time I had was spent with Ed. He was my priority, always.”

Steve wipes the tears from his cheeks as he watches Wayne drop the fish into the hot oil.

“What about now?” Eddie was busy with his own life now, and they’d received enough money from the government to cover their new trailer and have plenty leftover to cover bills. Wayne was retired and had plenty of time to start dating again.

“I got lucky with Paul. It ain’t fair to compare any future relationship to what we had and I think that’s all I’d do. I’m happy the way things are for now.”

Steve drops it for now, but he makes a note to ask Eddie about it soon. He’s surprised Eddie never mentioned Paul, or even the fact that Wayne was gay, especially when he came out to Steve and Robin while he was still in the hospital.

Wayne goes on to explain how long he keeps the fish in the oil before flipping them to make sure the cooking is even, and how putting them onto paper towels to cool drains too much of the grease.

As Steve watches him prep the salmon with a glaze he made from garlic, honey, and lemon juice, Eddie finally comes out of the bedroom.

“Smells like fish,” he says with a grin.

“That’d be the fish.” Wayne doesn’t even bother looking over at him as he leans against the counter. “Salmon is already a tender fish, so you can bake it to whatever you prefer. It should only take about 10 minutes on 400 unless you like it extra crispy, then you may wanna do it for 13 minutes.”

“Chef Wayne teaching you everything you need to know?” Eddie asks Steve, stepping close enough for Steve to feel the heat coming from his body.

“He’s pretty talented. Might need to consider opening a restaurant,” Steve teases.

“Wait ‘til you have his steak. So tender you could cut it with a spoon.”

“Don’t know what you’re after with your compliments, but I’d rather ya just ask for it.” Wayne checked the clock as he closed the oven door.

“I was just bein’ nice!” Eddie exclaims, throwing his arms up in frustration. Steve never noticed how Eddie’s accent changes the more time he spends around Wayne, but he smiles to himself when it slips now. “See if I give ya a compliment again, old man.”

Steve watches as they banter back and forth some more, both of them smiling and laughing the entire time.

It’s nothing like what Steve was used to. His parents never bantered, only fought. Anything that was big enough for discussion, was big enough to yell about. As Steve got older, he learned that staying quiet and letting them get it out would usually turn out better for him. Luckily, once he reached middle school, they didn’t bother coming home enough for him to worry about what to do when they were arguing.

He doesn’t remember a time when there was fun and laughter between them, not even when he was a young child. He can remember his mom dancing with him while his dad was gone on business trips, but the moment he arrived home, the air became thick with tension and her attitude became somber. He remembers one time when his dad let him sit on his desk while he worked, making paper airplanes and having a competition to see how far they could fly, but the moment the phone rang, he was hissing a ‘get out’ with no explanation for the abrupt stop to the fun.

Steve couldn’t imagine talking to either of his parents the way Eddie talks to Wayne, but he also couldn’t imagine receiving the love from them that Wayne so easily gives to Eddie.

And now that he knows another piece of their story, he can see how they’ve come to be like this, comfortable with each other in ways many kids never are with their parents.

Steve’s mind continues to wander throughout dinner, but no one calls him out on it. Maybe Wayne somehow communicated with Eddie that they’d had a serious conversation. Maybe it was just obvious that Steve was far away from the table. Eddie and Wayne chattered as they ate, and Steve let the constant echoes of their voices be the background noise to his thoughts.

“Stevie?” Eddie’s hand touched his cheek, shaking him out of the path he was lost on. “Wayne’s gonna take a walk. You wanna go?”

Steve smiles up at Eddie before looking down at his plate. He barely remembers eating, but he only has a few small pieces of salmon left.

“Sounds good.”

Eddie looks concerned, but Steve brushes him off. He looks around, and when he doesn’t see Wayne in the room with them, turns his face so he can kiss Eddie’s palm.

“Should we grab the bug spray?” Steve asks as he stands, pushing in his chair and grabbing his plate off the table to wash it.

“Wayne’s got it outside. Think he put enough on for all of us,” Eddie follows close behind Steve. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. Just thinking.”

“About?”

“A lot.” Steve brushes it off so they can join Wayne. “Ready?”

Eddie nods and leads the way out of the cabin.

They ate an early dinner, so the sun is still high in the sky as they make their way down a trail that follows the lake’s edge. Eddie occasionally gets distracted by colorful rocks, holding them up excitedly for Steve and Wayne to acknowledge.

Steve knows the love he has for Eddie is written all over his face.

He doesn’t care to hide it.

Wayne’s quiet as they walk, occasionally pointing out a fish splashing in the distance or a heron standing in the water. He swats a mosquito away from Steve’s face, only for the mosquito to turn around and bite his hand. Eddie’s far too busy climbing over fallen limbs and branches of trees to notice what they’re doing.

“You boys should go for a swim when we get back. Water’s cool.” Wayne makes the suggestion without looking at Steve, who suddenly feels like he’s being studied under a microscope.

“Not sure if Eddie even brought a swimsuit.” Steve laughs it off, hopes they can go back to silence or change the subject.

“I’m sure you boys could figure something out.”

Thankfully, the topic gets dropped and Steve is left wondering if Wayne knows.

Sure, he joked about Steve being in love with Eddie earlier, but that wasn’t a confirmation that he knew they were together. He thought they’d been careful today, but maybe Wayne caught them when they kissed by the truck when Eddie was grabbing his wallet from the glovebox.

He doesn’t have time to think about it more because Eddie lets out a yelp and they can only watch as he falls on his ass into a muddy spot between two large rocks.

“I hate the outdoors,” he grumbles as he stands.

Wayne is laughing, but Steve is rushing over to make sure he’s okay.

“Are you hurt?” Steve’s hands are hovering over him, trying to figure out if he sees any blood. “Did you hit your head?”

“I’m fine, sweetheart,” Eddie replies quietly, holding his arms out as if trying to show proof. “My dignity may be a bit bruised.”

They’re interrupted by the hooting of an owl. It’s loud enough that Wayne shushes them and starts looking around at the trees surrounding them, trying to locate the creature.

It hoots again before Wayne locates it, pointing to a tree only ten feet away and to their right.

“Wow.” Steve says as he gets a close look at it, the white and tan feathers blending into beautiful patterns. “It’s so small. I thought owls were bigger.”

Eddie’s looking up at it, smiling.

To Steve’s shock, he’s the one who responds, not Wayne.

“It’s a northern saw-whet owl. They’re closer to the size of a robin than an owl you may be thinking of.” Eddie reaches for Steve’s hand and squeezes it once before letting it drop. “Paul taught me about all kinds of owls.”

Steve’s head snaps towards him. “You heard us this morning, didn’t you?”

“You weren’t quiet,” Eddie shrugged. “I used to be obsessed with nocturnal animals. He bought me a book about bats and owls for Christmas and went through it page by page with me.”

“I remember that book,” Wayne looks at the owl while he talks. “Paul said it made him nervous to go out at night.”

Eddie laughs. “He was convinced we’d get attacked.”

Steve can’t blame him. The longer he looks at the owl’s impossibly large eyes and spread wings, the more he believes he’s being hunted.

“Ready to head back?” Wayne asks after another minute, drawing his attention away.

“Wish I had a camera like Byers. Probably could get a good picture.” Eddie says as he starts to walk back the way they came.

Steve takes note to ask Jonathan about his so he can get him one for Christmas.

When they make it back to the cabin, Wayne excuses himself to take a shower and do a crossword before bed, which leaves Steve and Eddie to fill their time however they want. Steve thinks back to Wayne’s suggestion about going for a swim, but he’s not sure Eddie would want to now that the sun’s almost set.

He’s not even sure he wants to get into the lake after dark.

But it does sound appealing, especially with the layer of damp sweat coating his skin from their walk. And there is a light on the dock that would make it easier to at least see each other.

“Wanna go for a swim?” Steve asks Eddie as he sips on a soda.

“Now?” Eddie looks out the window in the kitchen, frowning at the darkness looming.

“Now.”

“It’s dark.”

“We can turn on the light at the dock. C’mon. Just a quick dip,” Steve nudges his shoulder as he starts walking to the back door, fully dressed.

“You’re not gonna change?” Eddie asks in disbelief.

“Don’t plan on wearing my clothes in.” Steve winks as he leaves, knowing Eddie will follow him even if he’s hesitant to do so.

Within seconds, the back door is closing and Eddie is on his heels.

“Are we seriously skinny dipping in the lake while my uncle is here?” Eddie hisses out, hand covering Steve’s forearm.

“I’m skinny dipping. You can do whatever you want,” Steve responds. “But I wouldn’t complain if you joined me.”

Eddie huffs beside him, but still follows him the rest of the way to the water’s edge. The light has a covered power switch to their right, but now that they’re in an open area by the water, they realize the moon is pretty bright.

Steve starts stripping off his shirt, then his shoes and socks. Eddie watches, probably trying to decide if he’s gonna join him or go back inside and pretend Steve isn’t naked in the water. When Steve pulls his pants off, Eddie sighs and starts untying his boots.

“Can’t believe you have me getting into another lake. Wasn’t the first time enough?” Eddie’s grumbling loud enough for Steve to hear, but quiet enough that Steve only catches every couple of words and has to use context clues for the rest. He can’t hold back a smile when he shoves his underwear down and leaves them on top of his pile of clothes.

Eddie is still grumbling as he removes his own clothes, enough that he’s distracting himself from realizing Steve’s already naked and waiting for him.

When he looks up, his eyes widen and his jaw drops open.

“You’re gonna catch flies like that,” Steve steps closer as he speaks, feeling more nervous than he expected to. “Probably should get in so the mosquitos don’t get us.”

“Right.” Eddie shakes his head, closing his eyes so he can focus. “Yes. Let’s get in.”

Steve grabs his hand and walks them both to the water. The water is chilly, but not uncomfortably cold. He knows in the next few weeks, the temperature will drop enough at night to cause the lake to be freezing cold. But right now, it’s perfect.

Being here with Eddie is perfect.

Eddie breathes out slowly as they keep walking further in, squeezing Steve’s hand.

“All good?” Steve asks when they’re waist deep.

“Yep. All good. How uh…how far do you wanna go?” Eddie’s looking out at what little they can see of the lake, even with the moonlight glistening off the tiny waves of the lake.

“Just a little more.”

Steve doesn’t take Eddie’s trust for granted here, knows that he’s asking a lot of him.

When the water is just below his collarbone, he stops.

Eddie is tense next to him, but doesn’t seem to be panicking.

“Okay?” Steve asks.

Eddie looks around and then settles back on Steve. “I’m okay.”

Something about the way he says it makes Steve pause, though.

“You can let it out if you need to, baby,” he offers. He’s not sure what it is specifically that makes him think Eddie’s on the edge of tears, but he wants to give him the chance to cry. “I’m right here.”

Eddie doesn’t sob, or cry, or do anything for a minute. They’re both looking out at the dark lake and the moon above, listening to crickets and a gentle breeze in the leaves of the trees nearby. Eddie’s breathing just stops for a few seconds and that’s all the warning Steve gets before he’s sniffling and talking.

“My dad was a piece of shit,” he starts. Steve is gonna follow his lead, and listen, and let Eddie tell him whatever he wants to. Even if that’s all he says. “He hated me. Pretty sure he hated my mom towards the end of her life, too. Anything that put attention on someone other than him was no good. That’s why he got involved with the closest thing Hawkins had to a mafia.”

Steve rubs his thumb against the side of Eddie’s hand under the water, prompting him to continue.

“He ranked pretty high with them so he got plenty of attention. Forgot that he had a wife and a kid. When my mom died, he temporarily got more attention from everyone. Made sure he looked like the mourning husband trying to be strong for the son he barely knew. Even at four and five years old I knew he was full of shit. But at least he was taking me with him sometimes, showing me cool shit. He got arrested when I was seven for petty theft and possession of drugs. Got lucky that the judge believed his sob story of being the only one who could take care of me.” Eddie scoffed. “Paid a fine with money he stole and had to do 80 hours of community service that his boss signed off on after a few weeks. Didn’t care that the only meals I ate were at school and the neighbor’s house when she saw me alone for dinner. Didn’t care that I never had school supplies or clothes that fit. Didn’t care that I missed school anytime I missed the bus, which was often because he never gave me an alarm clock to set to get up in time.”

Steve wants to cry, hearing how shitty Eddie’s childhood was, but he refuses to right now. He doesn’t want Eddie to stop talking.

“When I was nine, he taught me how to steal a car. I could barely see over the steering wheel, but it was the first time I made him proud.” Eddie clears his throat. “He got sent to prison when I was 11. I got put in the system because everything is a mess and Wayne wasn’t even listed as my uncle anywhere. Wayne heard about it all a few weeks later and didn’t stop pushing to have me in his care until they gave in. I’m surprised they put up so much of a fight considering they don’t usually care that much about poor kids with shit parents. Wayne fought for me and I didn’t even know how much he did until I was older.”

Steve glances over to see tears falling down Eddie’s face. He let go of Eddie’s hand to wrap his arm around his waist instead, pulling him against his side.

“He didn’t have to do that. He just knew what a piece of shit my dad was and apparently checked on me a few times a year without me or him knowing. And he told you about Paul.” Steve nods. “Paul was in and out a lot at first, made me suspicious. Thought he was up to no good and just using Wayne as a place to sleep when he wasn’t in the truck. But then he took me with him a few times over the summer and we got closer. I don’t think Wayne even knows how much that man loved him. He was gonna start working more local jobs sooner until I came into the picture and Wayne was struggling to keep up with bills. Long haul makes more money, so he stayed out. Made sure I had clothes and school supplies, made sure I ate three meals a day and had whatever snacks I wanted. Sent payments to the electric company before Wayne even got the bill so I never had to worry about sleeping through alarms or not being able to take a hot shower.”

Steve didn’t realize he was crying until Eddie reached his thumb up to wipe away a tear.

“He was my father in the ways that mattered to me, just like Wayne has been. Losing him was more painful than anything I feel about my dad dying now. All I feel now is guilt that I feel anything at all.”

Steve uses the arm wrapped around Eddie’s waist and the weightlessness the water allows to lift him up and guide his legs around his waist. He’s looking up at the man he loves, holding the back of his thighs, and wishing he could take every shitty feeling away with his words of comfort.

“You can feel however you feel. I’ll love you through it all,” Steve reassures him. Eddie’s breath catches at his words, and Steve knows he chose the right thing to say at the right time. “No one who cares about you is gonna judge you for having any emotion about your dad dying. If you wanted to stand in the middle of a table in the cafeteria at the school and cheer, I’d sit at the table and cheer you on. If you want to show up at his grave and scream and cry, I’ll hold your hand the whole time. So will Wayne. And so would Paul.”

Eddie sobs as he wraps his arms around Steve’s neck and hides his face against Steve’s neck. Steve can feel the wetness of his tears, can feel his own still falling into the water below. He doesn’t care how long they stay like that, doesn’t even care if this is all they do all night.

But only a few minutes later, Eddie is pulling back and looking down at Steve, hands playing with the wet ends of his hair.

“I didn’t expect any of this this weekend,” he admits. “I should learn to stop having expectations.”

Steve’s lips turn up in a half-smile as Eddie rests his forehead against his. “Better or worse than what you expected?”

Eddie snorts. “Better. Always better with you.”

Steve’s glad it’s dark enough to hide his blush, but he’s sure Eddie knows what he does to him by now. If he doesn’t, he will soon enough.

Eddie traces a line along Steve’s neck, gently poking at his moles as he watches his own movements. Steve holds him, lets him do what he wants, feels every touch like lightning.

“I love you,” he finally says, barely more than a whisper, like he’s unsure it’s okay, even after Steve’s confession. “I think I have for a while.”

Steve wants to kiss him, but this moment still feels like a part of Eddie’s monologue. He wants Eddie to lead now, to show him how to love him. Whatever he needs, Steve will give it willingly and gladly.

“How long until Wayne comes to make sure we didn’t drown?” Eddie asks.

“Probably not unless we’re still gone by morning.”

“As lovely as being in your arms all night sounds, I don’t know if I’d wanna stay in the water that long,” Eddie laughs as his legs tighten around Steve’s waist. Their mostly soft cocks brush against each other, making them both inhale loudly. “A little longer might not be so bad, though.”

Steve’s finding it harder not to kiss him, not to let his hands wander from Eddie’s thighs, up to his waist, back to his ass. He resists, but Eddie shifts his weight again and everything gets harder.

“You’re killing me.” Steve groans, letting his head fall back so he can look up at the stars in the sky instead of the ones in Eddie’s eyes.

“Look at me.” Eddie’s tone’s shifted to something serious, still adorned with an affection Steve can’t believe he gets to hear. Steve looks at him with his lips parted and unblinking eyes. “I wanna be yours. Will you let me?”

Steve nods. That’s all he can do.

Eddie’s lips are against his, gently coaxing them apart further so he can slip his tongue inside. Steve’s not even thinking about how he hasn’t brushed his teeth or eaten a mint since supper, the warmth of Eddie’s hands circling behind his back and rubbing his shoulders enough of a distraction even without his tongue gliding against the roof of his mouth.

Eddie’s hands are slow, but on a very clear path downwards as his tongue traces Steve’s bottom lip. Steve lets his own hands slip to Eddie’s lower back, lets a finger trace up and back down his spine.

Eddie shivers in his arms.

“Cold?” Steve whispers.

Eddie shakes his head. “Feels good.”

So Steve does it again, with more pressure, hoping Eddie gets the hint.

When Eddie’s hips grind forward, he knows he did.

They’re both nearly fully hard now, lips meeting again, hungrier and biting. Their moans vibrate between their chests, every movement rippling the water around them.

Eddie’s rocking his hips back and forth, friction against their cocks not quite enough to do more than get them more worked up.

The water doesn’t feel cool anymore, Steve’s body already adjusted to the temperature the moment Eddie’s hands were on him.

“Can I touch you?” Eddie asks, bringing Steve out of his thoughts about doing this in his pool when they got home. His hand is flat against Steve’s stomach, fingertips dragging through his happy trail.

“Want you to feel good too, love,” Steve trails one of his hands to Eddie’s front, stopping for a moment on the angry scars covering his side. “Together?”

Eddie slides impossibly closer, wrapping his hand around both of their cocks at once. Steve’s legs would’ve buckled without the help of the lake holding him up.

“Together is good,” Eddie smirks as his hand works them both over, squeezing at the tip the way Steve likes.

Steve had every intention of helping, but he’s doing all he can to keep his feet on the sandy ground and Eddie’s legs wrapped around his waist. He whimpers as Eddie leans in to kiss him slowly, a contradiction to his hand speeding up around them.

“Eddie, I’m…close.” Steve pants against his lips when he pulls back for air. His toes are curling in the sand below, and the small waves around them are splashing against their necks as Eddie’s hand moves faster. Steve’s bucking up into his touch, doesn’t care how desperate he seems.

“Me too, Stevie.” Eddie reassures him, just as breathless as Steve is.

Despite the words spoken and the increasing heat coiling in his belly, Steve gasps in surprise when he comes. He’s even more surprised when Eddie is right behind him, whispering Steve’s name repeatedly as his grip around them tightens then loosens.

Chests heaving, legs shaking, they stare at each other in the glow of the moonlight.

“I normally last a lot longer,” Steve breaks the silence.

Eddie breaks into loud laughter, head falling onto Steve’s shoulder before he realizes that the water is too high to do that without getting wet. He drops his legs and stands, keeping his arms wrapped around Steve’s waist for stability.

“New record for me, too, baby.”

“Next time, we’ll take our time.” Steve promises not only Eddie, but himself. He knows he has better self control than what Eddie just witnessed.

“You wanna head inside and take our time there?” Eddie’s smirking at him, fingers playfully teasing his sides under the water.

“Not sure I can be quiet enough.”

“Even if you bite a pillow?” Eddie pouts.

“I can be pretty loud,” Steve laughs, poking his bottom lip back to normal. “Plus, I’d like to be in one of our own beds when we ma- have sex.”

“Oh my god. Were you gonna say make love?” Eddie is squeezing his arms around him, lifting Steve up so most of his chest is out of the water. Steve’s hands rest against his shoulders, fingertips pruned from being in the water for a while.

“Maybe I was.” Steve knows he’s a sap. He doesn’t care if Eddie thinks it’s silly or stupid, but he does wanna avoid blowing this before it even has a chance to begin.

Eddie must see something in his eyes to keep him from pushing it more. He lets him back down slowly, soft smile on his face.

“I love that you care that much.” Eddie kisses the corner of Steve’s mouth. “I promise we’ll hold off on making love until we’re back home.”

Steve smiles shyly back at him.

“But I wouldn’t be opposed to getting my mouth on you after we shower.”

Steve smacks Eddie’s arm and rolls his eyes.

“You’re ridiculous. I love you.”

“You really do, don’t you?” Eddie sounds awestruck, like it’s suddenly hit him that this is happening, that Steve feels this much for him.

“I really do.”

🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸

Waking up in Steve’s arms for the second morning in a row felt too good to be true.

Most of this trip had felt too good to be true. Last night definitely felt like a dream.

He lets his eyes track over Steve’s bare chest, his neck, his lips pouting out as he sleeps. His eyelids are fluttering, but he’s still asleep, probably coming out of a dream.

Eddie’s fingers trace what’s left of the scar around his neck, touch light enough that Steve wouldn’t feel it in his sleep. He thinks about Steve’s bravery, how he dived head first into everything, be it protecting people from monsters or falling in love. Eddie knows Steve went without medical care after most run-ins in the Upside Down, and had only gotten some last time when Wayne insisted he do so while Eddie was in surgery.

The neck scars faded after they were patched up by a nurse, but many of his other wounds were deeper and infected, leaving a permanent reminder on his back and sides much like Eddie’s.

He traced along the outer lines of one of the scars shaped like a heart on his chest. Steve insisted it was just a weird oval, but Eddie insisted that it was a heart over his heart.

His chest hair has grown back in around it, nearly covering it up if you didn’t look close enough.

Eddie is close enough now.

It’s definitely a heart.

“Not sure how I feel about you staring at my chest that close,” Steve’s raspy voice fills his ear and he looks up to see Steve’s sleepy eyes looking at him. “Max at least had the decency to look from a distance.”

“Ha.” Eddie fake laughs. “I was just admiring your bountiful chest hair and the heart you wear on your sleeve.”

“It’s not a heart,” Steve groans as he covers Eddie’s head with his arms, pulling him on top of him. “You’re just blinded by love.”

“Who knew I’d be the optimist in this relationship?” Eddie breathes against Steve’s lips.

“Probably everyone who’s ever seen me in a relationship.” Steve kisses him quick, just a peck. “Let me up.”

“You’re the one who put me here.” Eddie doesn’t move. “Take me with you if you need to go so badly.”

“Eds, c’mon. I gotta brush my teeth.”

“So do I.”

Steve sighs. Eddie smiles.

“Fine.”

As Steve stands from the bed, Eddie wraps his legs around his waist, a mirror image to their time in the lake. Eddie’s not actually expecting Steve to carry him more than a few steps, but he blushes when he makes it all the way to the bedroom door.

“Still wanna come with me?” Steve raises his eyebrows like he knows Eddie didn’t expect him to take it this far.

“Can you seriously carry me down the hall?”

Steve stares blankly back at him. “I carried you for almost a mile when we got out of the Upside Down.”

“Touché.”

Steve manages to open the door with one hand before it goes back to Eddie’s leg, hoisting him up further so he has a better grip. Eddie just stares down at Steve’s face in amazement.

“Hey Wayne,” Steve says as they pass Wayne’s room. “Sleep okay?”

“Uh huh. There a reason you’re carrying the prince?” Wayne asks, causing Eddie to turn his head and scowl. “Wake up grumpy?”

“Woke up lazy.” Steve responded as he continued on the journey to the bathroom.

Once there, Steve set Eddie down on the floor and handed him his toothbrush. They brush their teeth together, smiling when they catch each other's eye in the mirror.

“Will you kiss me for real now?” Eddie asks after they’ve finished.

“Are you gonna walk to the kitchen by yourself or will I have to carry you?” Steve retorts.

“Your kiss will give me the power to make it.”

Steve snorts a laugh and leans in, his palm resting against Eddie’s jaw to pull him the last inch or so. The kiss is nothing like their back and forth. Steve consumes him, and Eddie lets him.

He doesn’t know how long they stand there, but he thinks it must be longer than they should.

Wayne clears his throat from the doorway. “Didn’t realize this was a part of brushin’ teeth these days.”

Eddie leaps away from Steve, panicked at the thought of Wayne knowing suddenly. He’s been out to Wayne for so long, he forgets that others probably aren’t comfortable being so open. Steve especially, who’s mentioned before that he wasn’t sure if he wanted to come out to everyone until he was sure they’d be okay with it.

“Relax, Ed. I clocked Steve months ago.” Wayne pushes past them to grab his toothbrush and toothpaste. “Move your relations outta here.”

“Relations?” Eddie gags. “Way to ruin the moment.”

“Sorry to ruin your delicate sensibilities. Get out.”

Steve pushes Eddie out of the small bathroom before he can respond. Eddie decides to focus on Steve’s hands on him instead of arguing further.

“Should we make breakfast?” Steve asks as they walk back to the bedroom to get dressed.

“I shouldn’t ever touch an oven, but I’ll watch you lovingly while you make breakfast, darling,” Eddie bats his eyelashes at Steve, who throws his shirt at him. “That’s not very nice. Did I not, and I quote, suck the soul-“

Steve’s hand covers his mouth while he sputters to cover Eddie’s voice from traveling out of the room.

“Jesus, the mouth on you.”

“That’s what you said last night.” Eddie’s words are muffled under Steve’s hand, but they both laugh. “I can make toast.”

“I’ll make the rest.”

Eddie spends the morning touching Steve as much as possible.

He spends the afternoon sneaking kisses and holding him in the hammock set up on the porch thanks to Wayne’s creativity.

He spends the evening watching Wayne and Steve fish while he drinks a beer and hands them whatever they need.

This is a peace that may only last until they leave tomorrow, but something tells him that this is only the beginning of a future Eddie never could’ve pictured for himself.

🎣🎣🎣🎣🎣🎣

five years later

Wayne slams the truck door a bit harder than he means to. The rain just started coming down harder and he wanted to get his bag in the cabin before it got worse.

When he enters the front door, the scent of freshly baked cookies wafts through the air and he smiles.

“Made it, boys!” He yells, though he’s pretty sure speaking at a normal volume would’ve been enough. The cabin hasn’t changed much, but Steve insisted on opening up the front portion so it felt more welcoming.

“Wayne!” Steve exclaims as he pops up from behind the counter of the kitchen. “You just missed Eddie. He went out to the trail.”

Wayne gives Steve a tight hug. At Steve’s frown, he laughs. “Sorry ‘bout the wet clothes. Started raining the last couple miles in and got heavier just as I was leavin’ the truck.”

“Oh no.” Steve groaned.

Just as he spoke, the back door slammed open and Eddie dropped his camera bag on the floor.

Wayne and Steve both took in the sight of him, drenched from head to toe, dripping onto the tile floor, and laughed.

“I hate the outdoors.”

“You’re a nature photographer. You hate the rain.” Steve walks over to him, still laughing under his breath. He picks up the bag before leaning in to kiss his cheek.

Wayne watches the exchange, fighting tears back at the reason he was invited to their cabin this weekend.

Eddie was proposing to Steve and wanted Wayne to be there to capture it with his camera. He didn’t care that Wayne was an old man who could barely operate a camera, he just wanted someone to do it.

He knew Eddie was also a little nervous and having Wayne there would help keep him calm.

Why he was nervous, Wayne didn’t know.

They couldn’t legally get married, but they might as well be anyway.

“Wayne!” Eddie bounces over to him and throws his arms around him, forgetting for a moment that he’s soaked. “You’re here!”

“I’m here. I’d like to be less wet, though.”

Eddie backs up and Wayne pats his shoulder.

“Both of you should go get changed. Dinner’s ready in ten minutes.” Steve interrupts on his way to put Eddie’s camera bag in their room.

“Yes, dear,” Eddie replies. Steve turns and glares for a moment before continuing on his way. Once he’s out of sight, Eddie sighs. “God, I love that man.”

“That’s why I’m here, ain’t it?” Wayne playfully shoves at Eddie’s arm. “We better listen to him. I’m starvin’ and I think he’d make us fend for ourselves if we show up at the table dripping wet.”

As Wayne changes, he can hear Steve laughing in their room, Eddie talking about something he saw outside in the usual dramatic way he spoke. He thinks back to the first time he brought his boys here together, how hushed they tried to be, how hesitant.

He looked over at a photo Eddie framed for this room so Wayne had something when he came to stay.

Paul was smiling at the camera, arm wrapped around Eddie’s shoulders, Wayne looking at both of them with a smile. He remembers laughing right after the picture was taken, and giving in and buying them both cotton candy. They insisted it wouldn’t make them sick, then proceeded to both rush to the nearest garbage can after they got off the Gravitron at the fair.

“Wayne! Steve’s bullying me!” Eddie yells.

“You probably deserve it!” He yells back.

“Unbelievable!” Eddie screams.

“Ha!” Steve yells.

Wayne shakes his head as he makes his way out to the chaos he chose to be a part of this weekend.

[thinkinonsense]

Eat or Be Eaten ✦ Steve Harrington x fem!oc: S1: The Vanishing of Will Byers.

╰┈➤ Summary: In the dark corners of Hawkins, Indiana holds the gate to an alternate upside-down dimension. When a little boy goes missing in the town, Johanna Hopper and her friends gather to help find him before it's too late. Along the way, Johanna finds herself getting intertwined with the likings of a strange little girl and someone she claims to hate.

╰┈➤c/w: violence, cursing, angst, mentions of death

╰┈➤ word count: 2k+

╰┈➤a/n: I posted this completed fic on wattpad, but I thought I would post it here too. If you want to be added to the future tags list, comment on this, and I'll add you. Hope everyone enjoys :)

╰┈➤next chapter here

• November Seventh, Nineteen Eighty-Three

✦ Monday mornings were truly hellish. Classes felt longer yet, the rest of the day ran shorter. Your car takes forever to warm up, even after you kick the tires and curse at it. Some mornings the only thing getting you out of bed are your friends or the coffee sitting in the kitchen, waiting for you long after your father made it an hour ago.

This morning, it was the coffee.

"Johanna? Are you even listening?" The voice snaps me back into reality.

"Hm?" I blink at my shorter, curly-haired friend.

"Did you hear what I said?"

No, I did not.

"Yeah." I nod, removing the rim of my coffee lid from my lips. "You said, 'Something, Something, Steve this, Steve that, Something'."

The taller, red-headed girl beside me tried her hardest not to laugh at my comment but a small giggle escaped her. Meanwhile, my eyes flash around the hallway and past the parking lot doors, waiting for someone else this morning.

"I didn't say that."

"But I was close though? Right, Nance?"

She rolls her eyes playfully and shuts her locker. Just past her head, I spot Steve Harrington and his obnoxious friends approaching us.

"Morning ladies," Steve says, while only looking at Nancy.

Without much care, I lifted my cup over my mouth again when Barb looked at me, I put my finger in my mouth, pretending to gag at the scene. Nancy, Barbra, and I have been friends since fifth grade, so it's fair to say we know each other well.

"Someone looks jealous." Tommy H laughed, watching Barb and I.

"Not jealous per-say. Disgusted? Definitely." Barb shoves my rib softly, causing me to add. "No offense, Wheeler."

Apparently, that ruffled a few feathers but luckily, the bell for the first period rang and I could make a swift exit. As I walked into the classroom, I saw that most students were still waiting for Mrs. Young. Following in shortly behind me was Steve and Carol, Tommy's girlfriend, who is possibly the most annoying person I have ever met.

Steve sits in his seat right in front of me, blocking my entire view of the board with his immense hair. Ever since Nance developed this crush on him, I soon realized that he would be around regardless of whether or not I wanted him to be.

"Hey, did Nance tell you about tonight?" He asks, twisted in his chair to talk to me.

As I try to recall anything Nancy said this morning, I lick the bitter coffee residue off my lips.

"What's tonight?"

"I invited you guys over. It's a small get-together."

"Sounds like a party."

"Well, don't rat us out to your dad and maybe it can be." He smirks, trying to charm me.

"Actually I think he would enjoy a little party."

Steve rolls his eyes and then sighs, turning around in his chair when Mrs. Young walks into the room.

For as long as I have known Steve Harrington, he's been an entitled, silver-spoon-fed jerk. It wasn't until he learned that Nancy liked him that now he is trying to be a little less of a douchebag.

But still a douchebag, nonetheless.

✮

After fifth period, on my way back to my locker, I saw Barb waiting for me. Just a few feet away stood Steve and Nance at Steve's locker, making heart eyes at each other and tripping over their words.

"What's with the long look, red?" I ask, nudging Barb's arm while I unlock my locker.

"Nothing it's..." She sighs, debating on if she should say what she's thinking. "It's just that Nance is so obsessed with Steve."

That might sound rash but lately, it seems like all Nancy ever wants to talk about is Steve.

"Yeah, like this past weekend when we were out shopping, all she only cared about finding a new sweater that Steve would like."

"Exactly! I mean, I get that but..."

Barb's voice started to fade into a void while we were heading to Nancy's locker because, in the teacher's lounge, I heard someone say my dad's name, making me stop dead in my tracks.

"Did you hear that Chief Hopper is looking for that Byers kid? Apparently, he didn't make it home last night."

Byers kid? Was it Jonathan or Will? Is that why Jonathan's not here? It has to be.

"Johanna, where are you-?"

"I gotta go! I'll see you later!"

I turned around and ran out the back doors to my car. Tapping my thumbs on my wheel, anxiously while I sped over to Jonathan's house.

There were so many questions but I was too afraid to know the answers. Jonathan's car was parked outside but Joyce's car was missing.

"Jonathan!" I shouted, knocking on the wooden door.

"Who is it-"

The door opened and I sprung myself onto him, hugging him tightly. He was stiff until he realized it was me, relaxing into the hug.

"Dude! You scared the shit out of me! I thought, thought that..." I mumbled into his neck.

"It's Will."

My heart plummeted; to my stomach as I pulled away to look at him. Wet tears still stained his cheeks.

"He's missing."

We went back to Jonathan's room. A song by The Smiths played when we walked in. He turned it down and we both slumped down on his bed.

I could not believe it. Will was the quietest and sweetest little boy, how could he have just disappeared?

"Last night, he was supposed to bike home from Mike's house-"

"Nancy's little brother?"

Mike, Will, and their two other friends were quite a few years younger than us. Seventh graders to be specific.

"Yeah. He and Mike play Dungeons and Dragons with two of their other friends, Lucas and Dustin."

"Okay, then what happened?"

"I'm not sure. For some reason, Will didn't come home last night and we haven't seen him this morning." He sighed. "My mom's downtown talking with your dad about it."

"Well, somehow people are starting to find out."

"Who told you?"

"No one. I overheard some teachers talking about it at lunch."

Jonathan nodded then rested his head on my shoulder. I know he would never ask me this but I am sure he's wondering if this is how I felt when my younger sister, Sarah passed away.

Our parents have known each other since high school but it wasn't until Sarah passed and my mom left that I grew close with Jonathan. Sure, we had met before or gone to the other's birthday parties but once we hit middle school, we started to hang out together.

We listened to The Smiths' whole album in silence; just sitting together. Neither of us said anything until we heard Joyce's car pull into the driveway.

"Oh, Johanna!" Joyce jumped when she saw me in the hallway with Jonathan. "I was just with your father... Did he... Did he tell you about..?"

"No, Jonathan did," I answered. We knew it was best not to tell Joyce that the news was being spread already. "Is there anything I can do to help out?"

"No, sweetie," Joyce says, lighting a cigarette; and taking a seat at their table. "If you hear anything from your dad, let us know."

I nod before saying goodbye to them.

The house was hollow when I returned. Most nights it was like this, Dad would work late at the station and I would be here alone. It was different when I was growing up. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad. We've had our fair share of bumpy roads behind us but now, we only have each other.

In the kitchen, the phone began to ring.

"Hello?" I answered, leaning against the fridge.

"Johanna..." Nance practically sings into the phone.

"Yes, Wheeler?"

"I need a favor."

"What favor?"

I already knew what she wanted. Nancy likely already called Barb and wants her to come with her to Steve's house.

"Will you come with Barb and me to Steve's house?"

"Harrington house? On a school night?" I say teasingly. "Wheeler, you rebel."

"C'mon, Johanna." She whined. "Please."

"I'm the daughter of the Chief, remember? They don't want me there."

"Steve does!"

I roll my eyes, popping a candy cane into my mouth.

"Yeah, so he can get into your pants."

She hesitates then says, "That's not true!"

"Sorry, Nance. Try and drown Carol for me."

And with that, she hung up.

✮

The following morning, I waited by Barb's locker for fifteen minutes before the bell for first period rang and I realized, she wasn't there. It wasn't like her to miss school.

After fourth period, I finally ran into Nance in the girls' bathroom.

"Hey! Have you seen, Barb?" Nancy asked me.

"No, she wasn't in third," I answered her.

"She wasn't in homeroom either. I asked around and no one else has seen her today."

"Did you ask anyone from her band class?"

"No." She shakes her head. "I haven't seen her since We got to Steve's house last night then she just left."

"Without you?"

That was hard to believe, they are basically attached at the hip. Barb and I are close but they were on a whole other level.

"I went upstairs with Steve for a few minutes, then when I came back down she was gone."

I could understand why she would have left, especially if Nancy went upstairs with Harrington 'for a few minutes'.

"Try calling her house and I'll check the library."

Nancy nodded and we split up. The library was practically empty so even though I knew she wasn't in here, I still checked. On my way back to the courtyard, I ran into one of Barb's friends from band, Robin.

No, literally, I ran into her.

"Ouch! Where did you even come from?" She groaned, holding her shoulder.

"Sorry! Have you seen Barb today?" I asked her.

"Um, no but I'm heading to band practice so, I can let you..."

My brain tuned Robin's voice out because just right behind her head, across the parking lot, I saw Steve drop Jonathan's camera on the cement.

"I gotta go! Thanks!" I yelled before running away.

When I arrived, Steve and his friends were walking back inside with Nancy, leaving Jonathan to pick everything up.

"Nance!" I yelled, hoping she would stay.

"Sorry." She mouthed, following Steve back to the school.

Ripped photographs were lying there too. It didn't take a genius to figure out what these were of. One half-ripened photo of Nancy's naked back with Steve's bedroom walls in the background was under my foot.

"I swear I didn't mean to take those," Jonathan explained. "I was looking for Will last night and-"

"I believe you."

We picked up everything that we could of the camera pieces. That camera meant so much to him and it wasn't a cheap one either. Joyce worked many hours and saved up to get that for his birthday.

Jonathan left afterward, mumbling something about visiting his dad. Angrily, I went back to the school. Originally, I was looking for Nancy, but instead, I found Steve in the gymnasium.

"Harrington!" I yelled, causing all of the basketball players to stop their game and look over.

Reluctantly, he followed me out to the empty hallway.

"What?" He says, trying to come off as pissed.

"What the hell is your issue?" I hissed.

"Right now, it's you."

Is he joking right now? He has to be.

"I have no issue punching that so-called pretty face, Harrington. So, tread lightly." I glare, stepping forward.

The cocky look on his face made me even angrier. I've tried to give him the benefit of the doubt since Nance likes him but I have had it with him.

"That's because Daddy and his buddies down at the station wouldn't dare put cuffs on you." He says, leaning down a little in an attempt to intimidate me.

"Whatever." I scoff, turning around to leave. A larger hand reaches for my wrists, stopping me.

"Tell that little perv to stay away from Nance."

Without hesitation, I lifted my foot and kicked him in the shin. He cussed me out as he hunched over to rub the skin. I bent down enough to be leveled with his ear.

"Don't touch me."

✮

I didn't expect to see my dad tonight so I made myself a snack before work. Forgetting dinner altogether. My vest sat on the couch while I looked around for the name tag. That's when the phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered, pulling the cord all the way to my room.

"Johanna? Hey, it's Nance."

"Hey, I can't talk for long. I have to work tonight. What's up?"

"I called Barb's house but her mom said she doesn't know where she is."

Shit. I tuned out most of what Nancy was saying after that. My heart started pounding in my chest, Will and Barb? Both missing?

"...So, can you try and talk to your dad? Maybe he can find something out."

"Um, yeah. I'll talk to him the next time I see him."

I hung up and raced to the station, forgetting the name tag completely at this point. The police station was fifteen minutes away, and I made it there in under ten.

"Donna! I need to talk to my father!" I told her as soon as I walked in.

"He's not here, honey." She said, not even looking up at me from her desk.

"It's urgent."

"Then file a police report."

Half of me was tempted to jump the counter instead, I walked back to my dad's office to see if he was back there still. Donna was right, he was already gone.

"He's out looking for the Byers boy. I can leave a message." She sighs, following me in here.

"Never mind. I'll talk to him later at home." I huffed, storming out.

"You really are his daughter." She scoffed.

I know, I shouldn't have acted that way but I couldn't help it. Barb was missing and I needed to tell him as soon as possible.

The car was freezing the rest of the way to work. Stupid heat was going out again. When I arrived at work, I got out and hit my tires, mumbling curse words under my breath at it.

"Do you need some help?" The voice startled me.

"No, thanks," I said, turning around. "Robin?"

"Yeah." She laughed, throwing it in the bin.

"You're working here now?"

"Looks like it."

It would be nice to have another girl working here with me. Right now it's only me, Keith, and Nick.

"Did they seriously make you take the trash out in the snow?" I asked, joining her by the dumpster to help her lift the bags.

"Yeah." She laughs, tossing another in.

"Assholes."

We laughed together and headed back into the theater.

✮

"Theater Two, on the left. Enjoy your movie." My voice was flat like the Coca-Cola Robin dispensed into the cups.

"Did you see Barb at band practice today? After I talked to you?" I asked her after everyone else in the lobby left.

"No. Is everything okay?" Her back was still turned, filling up the popcorn machine again.

"Yeah, I just haven't heard from her."

Robin nodded her head but didn't say much after. Keith called her to his office, leaving me in the lobby for a few minutes. I didn't want to lie to her but, I wasn't sure if my hunch was right.

Nick comes up behind me, making me jump.

"Dude, you scared me," I said, noticing the seriousness in his face.

"Johanna..."

There's this dreaded look on Nick's face even though he's avoiding my eyes.

"The cops... um, they found the Byers boy... he didn't make it."

This had to be fake.

Yet, it felt so real.

✮

The following few minutes were hazy. I grabbed my keys and ran out to the parking lot. Robin said something about covering my last few hours for me.

All those years that I mourned a sister I barely got to know, came hurling back at me but only worse because I knew Will. The summers I spent babysitting him, hanging out with him and Jonathan after school, all the memories we had. Moments I can't get back.

The station wasn't far from work and Dad's cop car was parked out front when I pulled in.

"Dad? Where's my dad?" I asked Donna again. I must look like a mess with the empathetic look she gave me before pointing to his office.

"Dad, I heard... I heard about, about Will." I barely choked out.

He let me sob in his arms until I was ready to let go but the truth is, I never want to let go.

[superblysubpar]

We'll Call It Love masterlist | It Had To Be You masterlist

the song: Suddenly I See by KT Tunstall // It Had To Be You playlist

warnings: this story is a part of the series We’ll Call It Love, and much of it would be spoiled if you read this first. It’s linked above, and I hope you love it! | series warnings pertain | mentions of drugs | "illusions" to smut

3k words

Steve always thought he’d meet the love of his life, his soul mate, at a bar. 

Which sounds kind of lame now maybe? It’s just that the movies make it feel like this magical moment - you know, the couple sees each other, the music swells, the lights change - it’s undeniable. 

But that’s not happening for Steve Harrington it seems, definitely not tonight. 

Maybe not ever. 

So here he is, just breaking up with another girl in another random Chicago bar. 

His thumb pulls at the damp paper label, his brows furrowed over hazel eyes girls tend to like to look into deeply from time to time - or so he’s been told. 

“It’s just not working.”

The words taste more bitter than the beer on his tongue because for Steve, that’s quite the opposite of how he feels a relationship should be described. Your relationship shouldn’t feel like a job. It should be easy. It should feel right. It should just work for lack of a better term. 

When there’s no response from the other side of the table he finally glances up from the shredded label to find her typing on her phone, reaching for her wine glass and nodding. 

“Brenda?”

The blonde finally lifts her eyes from the device, smiling under vacant eyes. 

“Sorry, did you say something?”

Steve sighs deeply. He rubs at his temple as he nods. 

“Yeah, yeah I did. I don’t…I don’t think we should…do this anymore?”

Silence. 

She’s typing on her phone again. 

“Brenda?” He blinks at her incredulously before leaning across the table, closer, as he lowers his voice, “Brenda, I’m breaking up with you.”

She snaps her gum, slides her phone into her purse and starts to slide out of the booth. 

“Yeah, I heard you the first time. Listen, I didn’t even know we were dating? We haven’t even slept together and I didn’t think we were, like, an inclusive thing, you know?”

“You mean exclusive?” 

She’s already walking out the door. As Steve watches her go with a disbelieving stare, he sees one of the TVs suspended over the bar has the Cubs game on now. 

Well at least tonight isn’t a total bust. 

“Hey man, ‘nother beer?” The bartender who brought him his first one asks from where he’s collecting empty dishes at a nearby table. 

“Um,” Steve runs a hand through his hair, squinting at the tabletop before he sighs. “Sure, thanks.”

The bartender leaves and Steve rests his chin on his fist, watching the game but not really seeing it. 

He’s not really sure what he’s doing anymore. Is it all just normal? To be this hopeless, to be this unhappy with life, to be this lonely. There has to be someone out there for him right? 

His phone buzzes loudly on the table, stealing him from his spiral only for the dread he was barely allowing himself to dip into, swallow him whole and drown him. 

The contact ‘Dad’ displays with no photo for what feels like forever until it finally stops and the screen goes dark. 

Steve is still staring down at it when a large basket of breadsticks slides under his nose and a cold beer right behind it. 

He glances up and the bartender is taking his empty bottle, smiling in a sort of laid back way that makes Steve envious of his clearly relaxed state and demeanor. 

“On the house. You look pretty down about that blonde.”

“Oh,” Steve sits up, clearing his throat. He feels the warmth under his cheeks as he shakes his head, “No, um, she’s…yeah, I’m not missing her. Just lost in thought I guess. Thank you…” Steve trails off, looking for a name tag.

“Argyle, man,” the bartender slaps his hand out and grabs Steve’s. 

Steve points to the ceiling, smiling. “Like the name of the bar?”

“One and the same my dude. Let me know if I can get you anything else.”

Steve keeps his eyes on the game until he can’t resist the scent of butter and cheese and he grabs one of the breadsticks. He practically moans when he takes the first bite, and his eyes flutter open when he hears a laugh float across the quiet room. 

He swallows around the way too hot to have taken that big of a bite of bread as he sees you. You’re the only girl at the bar, head thrown back in a laugh he swears sounds like a favorite song as Argyle pours more red wine in your glass. There’s pizza in your hand and you’re gesturing to the baseball game. 

He might already be in love with you. 

And that’s before he watches you devour more than one piece of the pizza you’re eating alone and watching the baseball game like you actually care about it. 

Steve clicks his phone unlocked, ignoring the text from his father, and types one to Robin instead. 

Steve: Do you believe in soul mates?

It takes less than a minute for her to respond. 

Robin: Steve, I’m sorry, but I cannot do this. Brenda is NOT your soul mate Steve: we just broke up Robin: oh thank god Robin: I mean, I am so sorry, what can I do? Ice cream? Steve: no, listen… Steve: there’s this girl here Robin: no Steve: I haven’t even told you the best part Robin: let me guess, you think you love her already? Steve: if you’re gonna be a brat about it, I will not tell you that she’s watching the Cubs game right now Robin: wow? Steve: Robs, she’s ACTUALLY watching it Robin: Yeah, and? Do you even know her name yet, Dingus? Have you spoken to her? Dude, I love you, but you can’t keep doing this Steve: what’s a good pick up line?

Steve takes a swig of his beer and chokes around it when Robin responds.

Robin: I might not be a pro player, but when it comes to you, I won't stop until I’ve reached all the bases Steve: absolutely not Robin: I think I glove you Robin: my dugout, or yours? Robin: I’m an umpire. Can I have your number so I can make the call? Steve: I hate you Robin: why don’t you just go with “Hi.” idiot Robin: also, why are there SO many baseball pick up lines on google? And what do they mean? Wtf is a pinch hitter?

Steve rolls his eyes at his screen, locking it closed as he slides out of the booth. He approaches the bar slowly, deciding that Robin is right, he should take it slow, he always does this. 

And maybe he’ll go with the umpire line. 

But when he’s right behind your shoulder, so close he can smell your perfume that makes him want to fall inside the bottle, he sees your pizza. 

And it has fucking olives on it. 

“Shit.”

He didn’t mean to say it out loud, but he clearly did, and when you turn to face him, he sort of forgets how to breathe. 

You’re clearly taking him in just like he is you, and when he sees your mouth drop open a little as your eyes meet each other, he feels like someone is playing a prank on him. 

Because the bar lights dim and the lyrics of As Time Goes By plays loudly. 

And Steve knows, logically, that this is all because it’s the time of night where bars dim their lights and that the song is from the other TV playing Casablanca. He knows this. 

And yet…

“Hey, sorry I’m late.”

Steve kisses your temple as he leans around you and grabs a breadstick on the bar despite your protest. He groans around the bread as you turn to smile at him. 

“I swear, Argyle puts drugs in these.” 

He sighs, pushing more into his mouth as he blinks at you, nodding his agreement. Steve’s eyes roam over the little black dress you have on, stopping appreciatively on the lace neckline that dips nicely and not so innocently. His fist comes up over his mouth, clearing his throat around the bite he shoves into his cheek so he can talk. 

“You look nice.”

“What, this old thing?” You spin on the stool, shrugging your shoulders with a smile. 

“Did you have something going on at work today?” He asks, brows furrowing and at first you think he’s joking, but then he cocks his head, ripping at more of the breadstick.

“Um, no, I-”

“Hey,” Steve waves for Argyle’s attention before he turns to you, apologetic, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt, do you care if we get the pizza to go? I’m beat from today, and I just need to get into something that isn’t this tie and eat that pizza and pass out.”

“Oh, uh, sure.” You smile, sure it’s not quite meeting your eyes, but Steve doesn’t notice because he’s already relaying the message to Argyle who looks at you curiously, then Steve, then you again before nodding. 

“Sure, man, I’ll box it up right now, it just got out of the oven.”

He walks away and Steve looks at you curiously, “That was weird, right?”

Except it wasn’t, because Argyle and you must see all the couples literally making out over their pizza, or snuggled up on the same side of booths and pressing their noses into cheeks and whispering sweet nothings into ears. Argyle and you must know that today is Valentine’s Day and Steve…doesn’t?

You quickly hop off the stool, grab your thick winter coat and shrug it on, pretending not to notice, “No? It’s busy, maybe he’s just overwhelmed.”

“Yeah, maybe…” Steve trails off, looking around until he lands back on you buttoning your coat, then down at your feet when he smiles. “Hey, you’re wearing the heels I bought you.”

A hum leaves your pursed lips as you roll your eyes. “Well, they’re really nice and they’re not doing anyone any good hanging out in my closet collecting dust on their red soles.”

Steve leans in and kisses you, quickly and subtly before he whispers, “It’s okay to admit you like the fancy things I buy you…speaking of…” He grabs his wallet from his back pocket.

He hands you his debit card, before he nods outside, “I’m gonna go run and pull the car up so you don’t have to walk in those all the way to where I finally found parking.”

“Steve, I can-” He’s already waving it off and kissing your cheek, disappearing out the door he barely just walked through. 

You slump against the bar and pull out your phone, looking around at the packed place with a sour feeling in your stomach. 

Normally, you hate this day. It’s overpriced consumerism at its finest. It's a sickening zoo of PDA everywhere you look, and places like here that normally are your peaceful, quiet spots, are packed. 

But you’d be lying if you didn’t say you were sort of looking forward to the day this year. Because, in all honesty, you’ve never really had someone you’ve wanted to celebrate with or someone who cared to do so until now.

Until Steve. 

Which is what leads you to pull out your phone, open a text to Robin, decide absolutely not because she’d just text him and then he’d feel awful and instead you call Eddie who answers on the first ring.

“What.”

You go to bite at your lower lip at the sound of his curt greeting and think better of it, what with the lipstick you put on for tonight and all. 

“Are you busy?”

Eddie sighs, dramatically, and you hear the distinct sound of a can crushing. “Yeah, I’m fucking the love of my life after we just had a candle lit dinner for two.”

As you look at the window, waiting to see Steve’s car, your eyes roll. Argyle hands you the pizza box with a smile and your voice lowers.

“Steve’s a…has he…does he like Valentine’s Day?”

Eddie snorts as he slurps a sip of a fresh beer into the receiver, “What kind of question is that. Of course Steve likes Valentine’s Day. It’s his shit. One year he took a girl out to like this whole big, fancy dinner and ice skating. Presents, flowers, the whole thing. He even gets Robin flowers and a card every year. He’s always been like that. Got everyone in middle school like the really nice candy and cards. Superheroes and name brand shit.”

“Oh.”

There’s silence on the other end for what feels like forever and you hear his sharp inhale as the car pulls up. 

“I gotta go,” you start to hang up but then think better of it and hiss into the phone, “Don’t say anything to him or Robin or Nancy or I will kill you.”

“But-” You click off the phone before he can say another word and head out the door where Steve is already jogging around the front of his car and opening your door for you. 

The glaring reality of your situation hits you as Steve closes the door.

Steve didn’t forget Valentine’s Day, he just doesn’t want to celebrate it with you. 

You try to shake off the mood, to smile and nod as he talks the whole way to his apartment about the new job, because you are really proud of him and you love hearing how excited he is for this new work he’s doing. And really, isn’t being alone with him, eating pizza, in comfy clothes, a perfect night with him because anything you do with him is perfect? 

It’s just hard to shake the fact that it’s a known fact he’s gone above and beyond for everyone else on this holiday, but not for you. 

Steve grows quiet as you walk inside the apartment building, thumb swiping over your knuckles back and forth gently until you untangle your fingers so he can unlock his door. 

The heels are kicked off and your coat hung as Steve slides the pizza onto the island, turning towards his bar. “I got that wine you really liked, do you want a glass of that with it, or…” he trails off waiting for you to respond.

You nod and head towards his room, but his arm snakes around your waist, tugging you to a stop so you can see his eyes when he ducks his head to catch your gaze. Steve speaks softly, worried, “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you smile and he frowns and you kiss the corner of his lips, “Sorry, I just had a long day too, I guess. Lady things. Heels hurting, whatever-”

“The heels hurt?” He looks genuinely concerned, and goes to reach for his phone, “I’ll get you a different size, they shouldn’t hurt-”

“No, no, no, I meant like…” you kiss him again, feeling something in your chest ache. 

Steve is wonderful, wanting to buy you new shoes because your feet hurt and here you are sulking because what? He didn’t get you overpriced bad chocolates? 

He kisses you back, hand cupping your jaw until you’re sighing and pulling away. 

“The shoes don’t hurt my feet. I don’t know why I said that. They’re perfect and the wine sounds great. I’m gonna change quick, okay?”

He nods, but he’s still frowning as you turn into his bedroom. You literally shake out your arms as you enter his closet, like you’re trying to rid your body of the bratty feeling as you roll your head from side to side, the tense feeling in your neck making you feel nauseous and guilty. 

You pad over to the tall dresser, pulling at the top drawer that’s slowly becoming yours as your phone rings, loudly, in the other room. 

“Steve, can you grab that? It’s in my coat pocket. It’s probably just Eddie, I hung up on him earlier…” you trail off as you remember what else is in the coat pocket and you race back out to the kitchen, sweats and one of Steve’s shirts in your hands. 

Your tights covered feet skid to a stop in his kitchen at the sight of what Steve holds in his hand. 

His tie is gone, white dress shirt partially unbuttoned to reveal the white tank top underneath with a small glimpse of his chest hair peeking out the top of it. His hair is sticking every which way, like he ran both hands through it several times in less than the minute you’ve been a part. 

And in his fingers dangles a gold chain, his gold chain, with a little ‘S’ hanging from it.

“Steve, I-”

He looks up at you and his cheeks are flushed pink and his eyes look a little glassy and he clears his throat as he holds it up higher. The ‘S’ spins with the movement, catching the light and sparkling as his voice breaks a little when he asks, “What’s this?”

Your eyes close as you groan and drop the items. The heels of your palms into your eyes as you shake your head. The words tumble out of you, unable to be contained any longer.  

“It’s stupid. I’m sorry. I just…I thought…I figured you’re a guy who, like, would eat this holiday shit up, and I don’t know, your chain just…I don’t know. I stole it and I brought it to a jeweler and got the ‘S’ for it and I know it’s technically a gift for me, but I just thought you’d like it if I wore it but it’s fine, I can return it or we can just…I don’t know, I-”

“Hey,” he interrupts softly, now standing just in front of you. He tugs on your wrist, pulling your hand from your face before his fingers tuck under your jaw so you have to look at him. “You got me this for Valentine’s Day?” 

The words of the holiday must make your face aching to be nonchalant twitch or shift or something because Steve leans down and presses his forehead against yours. 

“I didn’t forget. I just assumed you were very much not the kind of girl who would eat this holiday shit up,” he laughs at the parrot of your words as your lips twitch. “I thought you’d hate the fancy dinners and the flowers and chocolate, and just want today to be…normal?”

Your shoulders shrug as you step closer, letting your hands tug at his shirt collar. “I do…normally.”

Steve’s nose traces up yours and back down as he hums, lips ghosting over yours as he speaks, “Yeah? What changed?”

“Are you fishing for a compliment Harrington?” You whisper, heart stuttering in your chest as his lips catch your bottom one and linger, his breath exhaling against your skin warm as he laughs. 

“I wouldn’t complain if I got one,” his lips skim up your jaw, kissing just below your ear before he asks, “Can I put it on you?”

Something inside of your stomach flutters as you nod and spin for him. Steve’s nose follows your ear, down your neck as his hands reach around with the necklace. The cold metal hits your skin, your toes curl and legs press together as his fingertips skate across your collarbones with the ends of the chain, until they’re clasping it closed. 

You spin slowly, bodies refusing to stop touching each other as Steve swallows loudly and you exhale a breath you didn’t know you were holding. His eyes remain on the necklace as you tilt your head back to look up at him. 

Steve’s hand reaches up, fingertips gently brushing down the chain until they’re on the ‘S’ where he pauses, his adams apple bobbing as the apartment grows warmer from the heat of his stare. 

He leans forward, and before you can even naturally follow, he tugs, lightly, on the ‘S’, making your brain buzz and something spark up your spine as the distance between you closes. 

Steve makes a sort of choked noise from the back of his throat, pupils blown wide when he finally looks into your eyes. 

Your lips hover over his mouth, whispering around their smirk, “Pizza’s getting cold.”

Steve groans as you slip out of his arms, spinning towards the food only to be caught around the waist by his arms. He practically drags you to his bedroom, growling, “Fuck the pizza,” around your laughter. 

You’re not sure what you were hoping for, really, with the gift, for your first Valentine’s day together. 

But watching Steve Harrington’s eyes practically roll back in his head with you grinding on top of him, his hands pressed to the mattress with fingers entangled in yours, as the chain and little gold ‘S’ hits his chin is pretty fucking great. 

Oh, and him coming with no warning when you kiss the pair of freckles on his neck and whisper, “Happy Valentine’s Day baby” was pretty cool too.  

[logansgaar]

On the "Bucky was drafted"/"Bucky enlisted" debate, there's way more evidence in favor of him having been drafted than enlisting. Evidence that he enlisted feels very flimsy to me and mostly down to set errors and one passing continuity error, whereas him having been drafted seems far more set in stone/deliberate and plausible to me for three main reasons:

His disdain for the idea of joining the war at all. Bucky doesn't talk about enlisting and going off to war like a starry-eyed young lad who's been swept up by the pro-enlistment propaganda of the time, who thinks he'll look snazzy in the uniform or something similar that tragically many young men in that era genuinely did sign up over, he talks about going to war with vitriol. He argues about it with Steve, he's angry and hiding it well up until their talk at the Stark expo, and then composes himself after. Bucky doesn't give off pride, he gives off fear. I know the talk is about Steve wanting to enlist, in spite of his medical exemptions, and Bucky's very rational worry about that, there's also the reality that this is Bucky's last night in America for a while, potentially forever for all he knows. As a draftee, Bucky's bitterness in this scene hits a little harder, knowing he doesn't want to go but has to, and here his friend is not being forced to go but endangering himself anyway by breaking the law to lie his way in. There's a lot going on in that talk that isn't strictly only about Steve and what Steve wants. (We in fact know very little about what Bucky ever wants, other than that he likes technology and innovation and dancing...)

His 32557038 serial code. Bucky's dog tags are very historically accurate and go all the way back to the first Captain America movie where he's reciting his serial code over and over. 32 was for drafted men from either Delaware, New Jersey, or New York. (Steve's serial code on the other hand is a little nonsensical, historically speaking. I'm assuming this is because he was part of a top secret recruitment program and not part of the standard entry.)

Steve greatly admired and respected enlistees, and heavily romanticized the idea of enlisting, dreaming of serving in the same regiment that his father served in. Bucky in turn greatly admired Steve, it's very likely that Bucky just lied to Steve about enlisting because he wanted Steve's admiration. Bucky was a young man who, while he might not have been swept up in the propaganda and tragically naïve notions about the war, still had some naivety to him typical of the time. Bucky could well have gotten drafted, panicked, and ended up lying to Steve that he enlisted after all. Young people lie to people they want to impress all the time, it's a naïve and very relatable thing. It's likely that this lie then spiralled into Steve telling people Bucky enlisted, which then led to it becoming a Thing in history, since who's going to say Captain America is wrong about his own best friend???

This all makes what happens to him even more tragic, because Bucky never asked for any of it. He never signed up to be a super soldier, despite how people in TFATWS act, he never signed up to be an assassin who killed Howard and Maria, he never even signed up for the war. The only thing we see Bucky sign up for is following Steve as part of his task force. He's continually forced around by means beyond his control, both by the enemy and by his own allies. He's rarely shown making an informed choice of sound mind, and I specify sound of mind since the part of his brain in charge of decision making is like a "Christmas tree on psychotropic drugs" (Shuri, who's been in charge of his medical care for two years, says this) doesn't exactly scream "this man is able to make informed decisions on the fly".

[pizzaqueen]

#23 for the spotify wrapped fic thingy!! 👀

23 was Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace by Cheap Trick

I feel like I’m cheating a little, here, because this is a snippet from a WIP (called Ain’t Even Done With the Night where Steve and Eddie go to a concert somewhere and then Steve wants to pick up a couple of girls when they go to a bar after and Eddie goes along with it because he just does—nothing really happens between them and the girls btw!!) that just happens to have this song on the ‘soundtrack’.

But I do think it fits the song? And I did write it just for this, so hopefully that counts!!!

“So…” Steve shifts, making the ancient mattress dip as he moves; the springs creak, echoed moments later through the wall from the bed in the adjoining room. Those springs are probably squeaking for a different reason though. “Are you going to see that chick again?”

Eddie glances over at Steve. There’s something guarded in the tone of his voice, and his face doesn’t give anything away either. “Maybe.”

“Cool.” Steve nods, pressing his lips together. “I mean, she gave you her address, and we’re not that far away, so it would be easy.”

“Yeah, she said we could be penpals.”

Steve huffs. “Is that what they’re calling it these days?”

“It would just be as friends,” Eddie says, cautiously, wondering at the bitterness in Steve’s voice. Or maybe he’s imagining it.

“Sure.”

“No, really.” Eddie’s brow furrows. “I’m not interested in her. She wasn’t interested in me.” He pauses, then adds, “Except as a friend.”

“Then why…” Steve shakes his head. “Why did you agree to go back to their place?”

“Because you wanted to.”

Steve blinks. “You’re saying you just went along with it because I wanted to?”

“Yeah. I didn’t want to ruin your night.” Eddie lets his head tip back, thunking against the wall. “Which I guess I did, anyway.”

“Dude. I told you—” A muscle in Steve’s jaw ticks. “Look, if I cared more about getting laid than I cared about you, I wouldn’t be here. I’d be back there with her.”

“Aww, shucks.” The beat of Eddie’s heart belies his teasing tone, and he’s glad Steve can’t hear it.

“I mean it. You don’t know…” Steve toys with the comforter. “You don’t know how much you…” He sighs, shaking his head.

“Steve?”

“Nothing, man.” Steve runs a hand over his face. Silence stretches out, punctuated by the continued creaks from the other room, now accompanied by grunts and moans, and the buzzing of the bare bulb, the traffic outside. “Look, I’m glad you’re feeling better and…” He sighs again. “We should probably get some sleep if we want to get back early.”

Eddie doesn’t say anything, just watches as Steve slips down, rolling over so his back is toward Eddie. There’s a churning in his stomach and, before he knows what he’s doing, he’s saying, “I wasn’t sick.”

“What?” Steve glances over his shoulder.

“I didn’t feel sick, back at the apartment.”

More creaks as Steve pushes himself up, sitting beside Eddie again. “Then what…”

“I just…” This is it, Munson. Now or never. Eddie draws in a deep breath and says, “I couldn’t be there, knowing you were with her.” He looks at Steve. “You know?”

“Did you like her?”

Eddie sighs. “Steve.”

Steve gives a little shakes of his head.

“C’mon, man,” Eddie says, hating the pleading tone in his voice, “don’t make me say it.”

There’s a sharp inhale of breath and then a soft, “Oh,” and Eddie’s chest goes tight and his stomach drops.

“Yeah…” The noise from the next room over stops; a door opens and closes down the hall. “Do you want me to get another room?” Eddie tries to keep his tone light, but he’s pretty sure he fails. Spectacularly.

“No.” Steve’s voice is certain, brooks no arguments, and when Eddie looks at him, he doesn’t see disgust or pity or anything except… Oh. Oh shit. “No,” Steve repeats, hand darting across the worn comforter, stopping short of grabbing Eddie’s, “I want you to stay,” and it’s all Eddie needs to hear.

[winters8child]

It´s been a long, long time

Chapter 43

Steve and I stood in the conference room of Avengers Tower, the weight of the day’s events hanging heavy in the air. His eyes, usually so full of warmth and resolve, now bore into me with a fierce, disappointed glare. "I told you to stay here where it’s safe," he said, his voice edged with frustration. "But you couldn’t do that, could you?"

We had just returned from the hospital, and the shock of Fury’s death had left us all reeling. Natasha and Maria Hill, an agent I’d met only today, were both clearly devastated.

"I have the same serum you do," I shot back, my voice trembling with a mix of anger and hurt. "Why do you treat me like I’m made of glass? I’m just as strong as you are!"

Steve’s jaw tightened, and he ran a hand through his tousled hair, a clear sign of his rising frustration. "But I’m not being reckless about it!" he snapped, his hands clenching into fists at his sides.

I could feel the sting of his words, a bitter reminder of the reckless decision I had made to go to my apartment alone. I didn’t want to admit that part of me had been wrong, especially not to Steve. My arms crossed defensively over my chest as I glared at him, my voice sharp with the rawness of my emotions. "So what am I supposed to be? Forever cast in the shadow of Captain America? Your mascot wife on the sidelines?"

"Would that be so bad... being my wife?" he asked, his voice unexpectedly earnest as if he were opening up a secret part of himself.

I flinched at the sudden shift in our conversation, my heart skipping a beat at the gravity of his words. "What? No! That’s not what I meant at all... Are you seriously asking me this?" I stammered, my voice betraying a mix of surprise and confusion.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Maria Hill said, her voice strained, “but Alexander Pierce wants to talk to you immediately. He’s at S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ.” She stood in the doorway, her eyes puffy and red as if she’d been crying.

Steve’s gaze shifted from mine to Maria’s, his reluctance evident as he took in her message. “I’ll be there,” he replied, his tone clipped.

Maria’s eyes flicked to me, and she added, “He expects the both of you.” I was not sure what to think of that, I was not even part of the mission, yet he wanted to see me too. With Fury gone, I guessed that Pierce might want to see if I had any potential. I hadn’t had many interactions with Fury, but he had always seemed like a good man. I wondered if Pierce shared those qualities.

Twenty minutes later, Steve and I were sitting in Pierce’s office. We had ridden Steve’s bike through the chaotic streets, expertly navigating the sea of vehicles. We were both clad in our suits—Steve’s idea to make a strong impression on Pierce. He told us about his close relationship with Fury, and how they had different views on how to go about a mission. Fury had saved Pierce's daughter in the process, resulting in Fury being promoted even though he had ignored his direct orders.

“Captain, why was Nick in your apartment last night?” Pierce asked, his eyes darting between Steve and me as if searching for a hint of deception.

Steve had already filled me in on the way here: Fury had warned him that S.H.I.E.L.D. was compromised and that no one could be trusted. I wasn’t surprised—secrets and deception had always been part of the organization’s fabric. Steve and I exchanged a look, the weight of Fury’s warning still heavy on our minds.

“I don’t know,” Steve said, shaking his head slowly, his expression somber. “Did you know the apartment was bugged?” Pierce pressed, his tone revealing his own distrust.

I was stunned by the revelation. The thought that our private space had been violated left me feeling almost faint, a sickening realization that even our most personal moments were under surveillance. “I did, because Nick told me,” Steve said, his voice steady but with an edge of frustration.

“Did he tell you he was the one who bugged it?” Pierce shot back, his eyes narrowing as he scrutinized us.

My eyes widened in shock, while Steve tried to mask his surprise.

Pierce continued, laying out a grim scenario. “It seems Fury was behind the attack on the container ship you and Ms. Romanoff were on. He was selling classified intel, and when the deal went wrong, it led to his death.”

Steve broke the silence with a firm rebuttal. “If you knew Nick Fury, you’d know that’s not true.”

“Why do you think we’re having this conversation?” Pierce said, strolling over to the large windows and peering out at the city below. He turned back to us, his gaze intense. “Captain, you were the last person to see Nick alive. I don’t believe that’s a coincidence, and I doubt you do either.” His eyes flicked to me. “So I’m asking you again. Why was he there?” He seemed to understand that if Steve had any information, I would be the first to hear it.

“He told me not to trust anyone,” Steve said, his expression one of guarded suspicion. This was more than a conversation; it was an interrogation.

“I wonder if that included him,” Pierce said with a hint of scorn.

“I’m sorry, those were his last words,” Steve apologized, his tone heavy. “Excuse us,” he said as he adjusted his shield and guided me to the door with a sense of urgency.

“Captain, somebody murdered my friend, and I’m going to find out why. Anyone who gets in my way is going to regret it.” Pierce’s voice rang out, a cold edge to his words that made it clear this was no mere rhetoric.

Steve stopped midstep, turning around slowly to face Pierce. “Anyone,” Pierce repeated, his eyes flicking meaningfully between Steve and me. The threat was unmistakable now, a dangerous warning cloaked in the guise of a polite declaration.

I clenched my fists at my sides, fury seething beneath my skin. Before I could act on it, Steve’s hand was firmly on my arm, pulling me away with a decisive grip.

“Let’s go,” he said, his voice sharp and urgent as he guided me out of the office. The weight of Pierce’s threat hung over us like a dark cloud, a chilling reminder of the danger we were facing.

As we stepped into the glass elevator, Steve kept a tight hold of my hand, his distress evident in the lines etched into his face. Just before the doors closed, Rumlow and his team slipped in.

“Captain,” Rumlow greeted, his gaze lingering on me with an unsettling mix of curiosity and something darker. The elevator began its descent, the hum of its machinery filling the silence. Rumlow’s eyes shifted back to Steve. “Evidence Response found some fibers on the roof they want us to see. Do you want me to get the TAC team ready?”

“No, let’s see what it is first,” Steve replied, his eyes fixed on the floor. His entire body was coiled with tension, his grip on my hand tightening as if it were the only thing anchoring him.

The elevator stopped to let in more people, and Steve’s gaze swept over each newcomer with wary scrutiny, finally settling on me. His grip on my hand tightened almost imperceptibly, and he gave me a warning look that made my pulse quicken.

Understanding dawned on me in that moment. Steve gave me a quick nod, and I responded in kind. He then turned to the others with a hard edge to his voice.

“Before we get started, does anyone want to get out?”

And then, all hell broke loose.

The doors closed, and chaos erupted. Steve swung his shield up, deflecting the first punch aimed at him. I darted forward, my agility on full display as I kicked an agent’s legs out from under him, sending him sprawling.

“On your left!” Steve’s shout cut through the noise. I rolled across the floor, my fists connecting with an agent’s midsection before flipping backwards to avoid a retaliatory punch.

Steve grabbed an agent by the collar, throwing him into the wall with a resounding thud. I was already on the move, my movements a fluid dance as I took down another agent with a swift elbow to the face.

An agent lunged at Steve with a knife, but he deflected the attack with a well-timed shield strike. I sprang in from the side, kicking the agent’s weapon out of his hand and following up with a precise spin kick that sent him crashing into the corner of the elevator.

“Watch your back!” I warned as I twisted an agent’s arm behind his back, using him as a shield against another attacker’s punch.

Steve gritted his teeth, swinging his shield in a wide arc to take down two agents at once. He moved with purpose, each strike precise and powerful. I could feel his presence beside me, our movements synchronized as we fought back-to-back.

Rumlow moved in, a sneer on his face as he pulled out a stun gun. I caught his eye and nodded subtly to Steve.

“Got it,” Steve grunted. He blocked an incoming punch and rolled out of the way, giving me a clear shot. I leaped forward, my hand moving in a blur as I disarmed Rumlow and took him down with a series of quick, calculated strikes.

With Rumlow subdued, we continued to fight the remaining agents. The confined space of the elevator worked in our favor, allowing us to effectively manage the threats surrounding us.

Finally, as the last agent was knocked out, the elevator’s descent slowed, and the doors opened to reveal a more open corridor. I wiped a trickle of sweat from my brow, my eyes scanning for any more threats. Steve let out a relieved breath, his shield still up and ready. “Nice work,” he said, glancing at me with a hint of a smile.

But it was not over yet, as the doors opened we were faced with a whole squad of soldiers storming at us. Steve put his arms around me and said "It's better when you close your eyes", as he jumped through the glass, his shield forward.

We landed in the lobby with an ear-splitting crash, glass all around us, as people ran away in panic. Everything hurt, although Steve had taken the brunt of the impact, me landing on top of him. We grunted as we struggled to get up and ran out of the building to get his bike.

“Get on,” Steve commanded, climbing onto the bike. I swung a leg over and settled behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

As the engine roared to life, I felt a surge of adrenaline. The garage doors were beginning to close, but Steve revved the engine and shot forward, weaving through the narrowing gap just in time.

We hit the open road, the wind whipping past us as we sped away from the compound. My grip tightened around Steve, my mind racing with the implications of what we had just uncovered. S.H.I.E.L.D. was compromised, and we were now targets.

“Hold on tight!” Steve shouted over the roar of the engine. I pressed myself closer to him, my eyes scanning the rearview mirrors for any signs of pursuit.

Just as I spotted a convoy of black SUVs gaining on us, Steve swerved sharply, taking a side street at breakneck speed. The sudden change in direction threw our pursuers off, but they quickly adjusted, their engines roaring in pursuit.

“We need to lose them,” I said, my voice steady despite the chaos.

“Working on it,” Steve replied, his focus intense. He maneuvered the bike through the city streets with expert precision, taking sharp turns and weaving through traffic.

Up ahead, a construction site loomed. Steve sped towards it, and I realized his plan. As we approached the site, he accelerated, the bike soaring off a makeshift ramp and landing on the other side with a bone-jarring thud.

The SUVs screeched to a halt, unable to follow us across the gap. Steve didn’t slow down, navigating the narrow alleyways and backstreets until we were far from the immediate danger.

Finally, he brought the bike to a stop in a deserted alley. We both dismounted, breathing heavily. I scanned the area, ensuring we hadn’t been followed.

“Nice driving,” I said, offering him a small smile.

“Thanks,” Steve replied, his expression serious. “But we’re not out of the woods yet. We need to figure out our next move.”

“Agreed,” I said, my mind already working on a plan. “We need to find a safe place to regroup and figure out who we can trust.”

Steve nodded, his eyes meeting mine with unwavering determination. “Let’s go.”

Next Chapter

[buckrecs]

2022 Bucky Barnes Fic Rec 8

All of them are COMPLETE Series.

masterlist | req masterlist

✨ - fav fics

status - Completed

1. The Winter Ghost by @msmarvelwrites

Bucky x Reader

A Devastating car crash causes you to lose your memory and start over. The only thing left in the wreckage was the horrific nightmares which plagued your mind. If you knew what today would entail you would have just stayed in bed. But you didn’t and because of that, everything you knew was about to change.

2. A Moment of Your Time by @stevesbestgirl

Mob!Bucky x Reader

A soulmate AU where the headstrong reader realizes that she’s meant to love the brutal mob boss of New York City, James Buchanan Barnes. She doesn’t want to be a part of organized crime and she doesn’t want to rely on anyone, but how do you ignore your soulmate?

3. Gunslinger by @ghostofskywalker

Mob!Bucky x Bounty Hunter!Reader

The bitter reality was this: you did what you had to do to survive. And if that meant going head to head with the most feared mob boss of the city, so be it.

4. Code Words by @cinebration

Bucky x Mutant!Reader

Bucky crosses paths with someone who reminds him of his time as the Winter Soldier.

5. Bring Him Back by @tokoyamisstuff

Bucky x Enhanced!Reader

The Winter Soldier gets triggered and you are the only one who’s able to calm him down. You soon realize that even this part of your boyfriend can be soft and caring…

6. Scars by @tokoyamisstuff ✨

Bucky x Reader

Based on the Soulmate Prompt where whatever you write on your skin, it appears on your Soulmate’s.  

7. lost and found by @dolcezzasfantasy

TVA Agent!Bucky x 40s!Reader

you are arrested for crimes against the sacred timeline, but there is much more to the tva than you could have ever thought possible.

8. Shameless by @unabashedcandymaker

Bucky x Reader

Filled with Angst, just wanna get that out in the open before you start this endeavor.  But it’s also got a lot of smutty goodness, so…tread lightly? Like, mostly smut. Bucky has some serious self-worth issues and Reader is always there for Bucky, in any way he may need her, even if her selflessness is bordering on the line of torturing herself to take care of him, to be anything and everything he needs.

9. You Saved Me by @buckywintersoldierbarnes2017

Bucky x Pregnant!Reader

You find Bucky after the events of ‘Winter Soldier’ have taken place and you help to re-introduce him to the world. Over time you become close and you enter into a relationship. Everything is perfect but on the day you find out you are pregnant with his child Steve Rogers turns up and everything changed.

10. Run Away With Your Footsteps | 2 by @lowkeybxrnes

Bucky x Avenger!Reader

After the events of The Winter Soldier, the reader (an avenger) goes out to find Bucky for Steve. When she finds him, he has his own apartment and trying to live a normal life. He begs her not to tell the captain. She stays to watch over him and they kind of fall in love. Later, Steve finally finds them looking angry because she went MIA.

11. Flowers Bloom by @revengingbarnes

Bucky x Reader Soulmate AU

Whenever someone is injured, flowers bloom on their soulmate at the area of the wound. She is born with flowers around her entire left shoulder.

12. Stepping Up by @i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend ✨

Bucky x Reader

When Steve can’t go with you to your cousin’s wedding, he sends Bucky in his place. What happens when more than one person assume you’re dating?

13. Cuddles & Cocoa by @sparklefics

Bucky x Reader College AU

"I take it you’re here cause you read my letter." & "I'm sitting here, with this stupid pen in my hand, and damn I can't believe you have me writing right now."

14. Not The Time by @notimetoblog

Bucky x Doctor!Reader

After not seeing Bucky Barnes in what felt like forever you find yourself with him in the middle of a chaotic situation. Definitely not the time to reminisce about your past with him.

15. Bucky’s Bistro Dates by @wonderlandmind4 ✨

Bucky x Reader

A Bistro owner is witness to Bucky Barnes bad dates.

16. Premonitions by @beckzorz

Bucky x Reader

On Halloween, your clairvoyant niece leads you straight into Bucky Barnes. It could not have gone worse.

16-2. Premonitions 2 by @/beckzorz

Bucky x Reader

It’s been over a year since you met Bucky, and you couldn’t be happier. If only you could figure out why your precognitive niece is burying you in abstract crayon art…

17. No More Sex! by @alphaabucky

Bucky x Reader

and Bucky have a petty little argument, making you frustrated and ending the argument completely saying “fine! Fine! You know what? No physical contact! No nothing for… for 2 months!!”. For the first week it got hard, but then he started playing cruel, teasing games; and you being you can’t help but play a game of your own.

18. What Happens in Vegas by @bionic-buckyb

Bucky x Reader Modern AU

AU Drab Series.

19. Better by @captainscanadian ✨

Doctor!Bucky x Doctor!Reader

Dr. James Barnes has it all: a loving family, caring best friends, and a successful career as one of the best heart surgeons in New York. He has everything he ever wanted his whole life… well, almost everything. One thing he never thought he could ever have was Y/N Y/L/N. She may have been a lot of things, but he loved her because she made him better.

20. Forgotten Love by @thundering-barnes

Bucky x Hydra!Reader

You’re new to the Avengers. In joining the team, there’s a lot that no one yet knows about you. And there’s some unusual tension between you and a certain brunet. Under a pseudonym and with completely fresh start, and background, you hope for a chance at a new life. A better life. But how long will it last before someone figures out the life you’ve hidden away?

21. A Benched Bucky 2 3 4 by @dabblinginmarvel

Bucky x Reader

Due to her health conditions, Bucky is very protective over the girlfriend his team doesn’t know about.

22. All Those Who Wander by @avengerofyourheart

Bucky x Reader Travel AU

After a traumatic injury and honorable discharge from the military, Bucky Barnes finds himself wanting to travel and get lost in some of the most iconic cities of the world. One night he stumbles upon a girl who sparks something inside him and he finds himself following in her footsteps. How far will he go to find her and what will he discover about himself along the way?

23. Some Sunny Day by @tricksters-captain

TFATWS!Bucky x Avenger!Reader

Before the Blip, you and Bucky were close. After you both returning and Tony’s funeral, you decided to go back to your home town to spend time with your family. When duty calls, you return.  

24. detectives-in-love by @real-jane

Detective!Bucky x Reader

detective barnes and his partner are the star team at precinct 75. one threat could tear it all apart.

25. Birth of a team by @writingsoftheloser

Bucky x Agent!Reader

When a threat arises into Shield, (Y/n) is called on the case. What happens when she is flanked by none other than Sergeant Barnes?

26. Under Pastel Skies by @redgillan ✨

Writer!Bucky x Artist!Reader

Bucky doesn’t need anyone, especially not a sugar baby. He isn’t that desperate... but she smiles so sweetly and she's endearingly awkward, and he’s so lonely. She’s an artist, a painter, the type of person who always puts others before herself. Throwing caution to the wind Bucky offers her a place to live, a place where she can finally paint whatever her heart desires. He doesn’t need much in return; a friend, a muse.

27. Mr Hollywood by @buckybabybaby

Actor!Bucky x Teacher!Reader

Bucky Barnes, an underpaid teaching assistant in a small English village, dreams of a movie career back in his home country of America. He finally gets the break he’s always wanted, and if it wasn’t for you, his best friend, he wouldn’t have been able to take it.

28. Memories by @the-bau-quinjet

Bucky x Avenger!Reader

You were captured by Hydra. What did they do to your memories?

29. Careful Soldier by @wxntersoldiers

40s!Bucky x Reader

bucky is off to war but someone catches his eye just before he leaves

30. Live Wild by @redgillan

Detective!Bucky x Reader

Reader and her friends are in a store when a group of men come to rob the place. Reader finds a hiding place and call the police. Detective James Barnes will help her through this terrifying situation.  

31. Save Me by @espinosaurusrexex ✨

Bucky x Reader College AU

Bucky Barnes has never had it easy, which ultimately turned him into a caveman-like introvert with no desire to see the positive side of life. But what happens when the clumsily charming art student, Y/N, stumbles to his rescue, determined to show Bucky how truly wonderful the world is?

32. i’d never hurt you | 2 by @sunflowersteves

Bucky x Civilian!Reader

you met Bucky in the markets in Bucharest and start dating. What happens when Captain America and the Falcon show up?

33. Unknown Caller by @sagechanoafterdark

Bucky x Reader

You should always answer an Unknown Caller, you never know when it’s important. After a late morning call puts you back on a path you’d long strayed from, you find yourself caught up in old feelings for James Barnes.

34. Summer Plans by @notimetoblog ✨

Bucky x Reader Modern AU

Planning a trip with Bucky takes a turn when someone new comes into his life. Will it all change or can you still manage to have the perfect summer you planned?

35. To Make A Soldier Blush by @justreadingfics

Bucky x Avenger!Reader

You’re a new avenger and you have your own mission to accomplish: making Bucky Barnes blush everytime you see him.

36. Run To You by @bestofbucky

Mob!Bucky x Bodyguard!Reader

Mob boss Bucky Barnes hires you to be his bodyguard.

37. the warmth of winter by @captainsimagines

DBF!Bucky x Reader

You’re home for the holidays after landing your dream job. When your dad’s old army friend stops by for the month, he makes waves immediately. Your little vacation is disrupted… for better or for worse? Nobody has to know.

37-2. the warmth of the future by @/captainsimagines

It’s been two years since you fell in love with Bucky Barnes, and the holidays are just around the corner. With even more love, more friends, and more family in attendance, you and Bucky fully intend to enjoy these days with as little drama as possible. But that’s not always the case with a relationship like yours, is it?

38. Roses by @wlntrsldler

Bucky x Reader

Bucky tells Y/N he’s the Winter Soldier. The next day, he’s taken by the government and that’s the last Y/N sees of him… until they cross paths again. But what if Bucky doesn’t remember her?

39. i hate you but by @buckybarnesthehotshot ✨

Bucky x Avenger!Reader

bucky and y/n can’t stand each other, but y/n needs help with her sister’s kids (enemies to lovers au)

40. Words And Paper by @forever-rogue

Bucky x Lawyer!Reader

Y/N is a brilliant young lawyer who was hired by Tony Stark  himself. She didn’t expect half of the things that would happened, but  she was sure glad Bucky happened.  

[ashwhowrites]

Bitter- Eddie's version

You finally get a text back and it's just your mom

It's like when you just broke up and they play your song

And I hate that I can tell that someone's probably in my shoes

Eddie knew the second he let the break up happen he was going to regret it. He was going to regret letting himself leave.

He doesn't know why, but when his phone went off he hoped it was her. It never was. And he knew that she would never text him again.

He hates being at the bar, tongue down a random girl's throat, and the familiar melody of their song starts to play. Filling his body with regret and ruining any good mood he was working on.

She was a dream girl. Eddie fought off countless men in bars for her attention. She had men at her feet wherever she turned. And now that Eddie wasn't there to claim her, he can just imagine how fast he got replaced. How easy it was for her to put someone in his old shoes.

But he did it to himself

I know she thinkin' that she found herself a winner

I know you fucked her on the counter

Right before you cooked her dinner, yeah

Against his better judgement, he still stalked her social media.

And the day she first posted a photo with Steve Harrington, his heart shattered. Holding his phone in his lonely California home. Scrolling through where their old pictures used to be, now deleted. More room for Steve to fill.

He laughed to himself, of course it was Steve she'd move on with. She probably thought she found herself a huge winner with him. That he was better than Eddie in every way possible.

He hated that his brain imagined her and Steve fucking on the kitchen counter, probably in the new home they would buy together. Making dinner together but getting too carried away with each other. Taking each other in a heavy and desperate mess before the oven even preheated. He can just imagine Steve's cocky smirk when she falls apart. Doing all the things she likes, the things Eddie knew by heart.

That you threw out all our furniture and pictures

I bet you sugarcoat the truth

I bet you're real sweet with her, yeah

Hear about your new life and the brand new you

Heard you got a new job but I heard you moved

Eddie scrolled through his Instagram, a new photo of them popping up, in front of a small house. Their new house, together. She got the big promotion she's been working for. Spending the money on her new life with Steve.

Eddie remembered when they picked out furniture for their apartment. The same furniture he refused to take with him when he left. Leaving her to do whatever she wanted with it. Now he bets she threw it all out. Not having one piece of Eddie Munson around.

Sitting on a couch that had no memories of her but yet she still wouldn't leave his head.

He scoffed thinking about how happy they probably are. Coffee in the morning after lazy morning sex. Steve's probably so sweet, sugarcoating everything so nothing hurts her heart. He's probably romantic, breakfast in bed on the weekends.

It's like

It's like

I don't wanna hear it, don't wanna hear about you

It's like

I don't give a fuck (yeah, I do)

Eddie wanted to strangle every time he brought up Steve and her when he came to visit.

Telling him all about the engagement and how he's the best man. Saying shit about how Steve's never been so in love.

Eddie didn't want to hear it and he couldn't hear it. He made one horrible mistake and every day since it somehow got worse. He was constantly reminded of who he left behind and what he left behind.

He knew he was in magazines. Photos of him leaving bars with new girls. And he knew she'd seen it. That was probably her final push to have him leave her mind forever.

Eddie didn't give a fuck about their wedding or their happy ending

But yet, he kinda did

You're still in my head, but

You're not in my bed, now

I'm bitter

Eddie couldn't stand the way his head still made his body reach for her. Reminded instantly the space next to him is empty.

She lives in his head every day. Almost like she's still there. If he thinks hard enough he can feel her

But she's not in his bed. She's in one with Steve

So he got drunk, feeling sorry for himself and pissed for his mistakes, he texted her

"I'm bitter"

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @slightlyvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergent @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69

[lovebillyhargrove]

"Babe, you're gonna hate me but I'll say it anyway."

The boys are sitting on Harrington's cushy couch on a Saturday evening. Billy's feet are on Steve's lap. It's nice. Harrington's parents are nowhere to be seen, as it often happens. Billy loves them dearly.

"What now, Harrington?" he drawls suspiciously. "Is Keith bothering you? I swear one day Hopper is going to find his cold breathless body, and .."

"No, no, it's not about Keith! Jesus, it's never about Keith, what is your beef with him?" Steve actually doesn't mind it when Billy gets a bit jealous. Likes it, in fact. His hand is resting on Billy's thigh. It's so nice.

"It's just.. It's not a big deal, really. But I've been meaning to ask you something, babe."

"Alright, out with it already, Steve."

"Uhm.. Can you maybe.. sometimes not put cologne on your dick??"

Billy's eyes are getting twice bigger. He didn't expect that.

"I mean, I like it. It smells nice. Very nice."

"Then what the fuck is the problem?" Billy's feeling a bit hurt, can't lie about it. He's actually thought scenting his dick was one of his ace moves. Turns out, Steve doesn't like it? What the fuck now?

"The problem.. well, it's not really a problem, babe.."

Harrington's face turns red

"Okay, I'll just say it. Smells nice, but tastes bitter. When I.. when I take it into my mouth. Also, I just really like the taste of you as it is .. the natural taste, I mean."

Steve's clearing his throat. Billy fails to describe the feeling that's butterflying in his chest. It's like he wants to hold Steve's face in his palms and kiss him forever.

"Can you.. can you maybe put perfume.. around it, not directly on it? Like .. on the hair?"

"Harrington, you're .. uh.." Hargrove pauses. His chest feels tight. "And I'll fucking kill for you." He means it.

"Oh yeah? So you're like my.. big bad dog? I'll say "Attack!" and you'll do it?" Steve's squeezing Billy's thick thigh and loving the feeling. It is so fucking nice, makes his heart sing. He loves every second of his time with Billy.

"You've got me on a leash, baby, and you know it."

"Did you put perfume on your dick tonight?" Steve's hand has crawled in the direction of and is fondling Billy's crotch.

"Why don't you unzip the fly and find out, pretty boy?"

[soundwavefucker69]

honestly I agree with the joke of getting queerbaited by the MCU is like losing chess to a dog. I do. but I'm interested in queerbaiting in the MCU on like. an academic level. like stevebucky happened bc you put a bunch of men in a room that never processed their intensely homoerotic friendship in college with their roommate they randomly stopped talking to five years after graduation and can't figure out why when they think about that guy they feel weird. they got told to queerbait and so they did but bc of their unprocessed bisexuality they actually made an incredibly compelling narrative that ended just the way their cishet life did: Steve walking away from his "college roommate" and getting the wife and the picket fence and a couple of kids, maybe, and disappearing from the narrative forever without ever once considering or mentioning the impact of his friend on his entire fucking existence. bc you know. that's how it's supposed to end.

lesbian queerbaiting was not allowed incidentally bc for queerbaiting to work women have to actually have emotionally compelling arcs that complement each other and women only existed as props in the MCU, with all of its male directors and male writers and male execs and the one random female writer that would pop up on a team of men every five movies or so and try to give the women a little depth before she never appeared in an MCU writing room again.

buuutttt alas the MCU can't do that anymore bc they're running out of male heroes and there's more female fans and everyone's fucking mad at them. enter the female directors and writers who have been excluded from the boys' club for a long time and they're not really pissed about it entirely, it's not like the MCU will be considered anything but cheap television that's criticized for its relentless monopoly and abuse of overworked and underpaid CGI artists bc they're not unionized that was designed to sell market appeal and never once respected movies and television as an actual art form. so it wasn't like they were missing out on joining the boy's club that will eventually collapse anyways bc you literally cannot keep a franchise running for 20 fucking years. people get bored and people that want to get into it look at the backlog to understand what's going on and go nah no thanks.

problem is male execs are still here working with the ladies and telling them what to do. they're not bitter, not yet, but oh holy hell will they be, bc who queerbaits in 2024? are you still relying on that? Just let them kiss!

anyways, the only reason I feel compelled to watch the MCU now is bc i want to see how vicious the fighting will get. I want to see how far these new writers and directors will push the side of queerbaiting intentionally. the accidental stevebucky tragic love story was fine, but now I'm more interested in the psychological warfare with the writers and the old boy execs.

honestly when the MCU starts generously allowing gay love stories I'll probably lose interest bc the gay love stories will be boring and sanitized and scrubbed clean of grime to be acceptable as possible. and it'll collapse in on itself in a fiery cataclysm before they get to the point where they can even allow a little purposeful toxicity and messiness, not the toxicity pointed out by someone who's entire career is rage farming discourse with video essays on YouTube about how this relationship is a bottomless pit of abuse bc someone had a trauma reaction once and got mad at their partner who didn't deserve to get yelled at. they won't even get to the actual fun gay love stories that make sense for the medium, considering being a superhero is actually really fucking traumatizing and traumatized people are sometimes shitty bc of their trauma. but. ya know. whatever.

[mara-and-its-the-same]

One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other 🪐- pick a character and come up with a prompt and I’ll write an angst blurb <3

steve harrington (are you noticing a trend?) + the prompt "so this is goodbye?"

I honestly did not think I could write angst but I’m pretty happy with this one <3 ✨

"Steve, come on, hey, please. Don't leave."

"What choice do I have?"

"We can figure it out, please?" You're on the verge of tears at this point. He's already gotten half his mind out the door and he's still 3 steps away from it; and you can't bring him back.

He hasn't looked you in the eye since you chased him downstairs, the way your voice was slowly breaking was tearing him apart, knowing that he caused it.

He wanted to say your name, wanted to address you properly for what may well be the last time, but if Steve Harrington is going down, he's going down swinging. "Sweetheart"

He's reaching down your throat and trying to rip your heart out. "No, please don't."

"You've gotta let me go."

"Your dad can't–Steve, he doesn't own you."

"Don't bring him into this."

Oh– so he's doing this on his own, that's what this is. That was the tipping point, the dam broke, vision blurry, deep breaths marred by an involuntary staccato. Not sobs, he wouldn't get the satisfaction, or whatever it was he was looking for that would make him end a 14 month relationship out of the blue, under the guise of a new job in another state.

You'd go with him, he knows you would.

"How can I not? Could you just– christ, could you just look at me?"

He still stood with his gaze on a fixed axis from the door down to the 7 tiles leading to it, occasionally rubbing his forehead every so often. He looked up and he wished hell upon himself for even thinking about doing this to you. He was protecting you. Vecna may be gone but Dick and Candace Harrington are forever. He looked right back down, hardly meeting your eye for even a second.

"When's your flight?"

Whatever he was before, he was scared now. Through your tears and his mistakes, your voice took on that cold cadence it did when the elders of the Harrington clan started assaulting you with questions about your work, when you’re settling down, snide comments about your hair, your clothes, your major, any of it. He knew you’d go with him. He knew you’d suffer through every dinner party with a bright smile and stiff answers. He knew he couldn’t ask that of you.

“Sunday, 4:30.”

“So you’re just leaving, just like that? You’re not even gonna try?”

“What is there to try for!?”

Oh— you tried to swallow around that lump that felt like one of the fat chocolate covered strawberries he’d just bought over reformed in your throat. “I—“ You closed your eyes and you couldn’t help the way your face drew in, only to relax on the third slow exhale. “You should go.”

“So that’s it then?”

“You want me to fight for you now?! No, no I’m not going to fight for you when you’ve just given up fighting for me. Please just—“

He crossed those 7 tiles and got one foot out the threshold before turning around. “If I ever come back…” You couldn’t even fathom the idea. What was he even asking for? He comes back from god knows where, not for you, but he’ll make a pit stop to buy you a drink? He goes west young man, and comes back with his great fortune just in time to pick you right back up. An open book, forgotten on the coffee table. You could only shake you head. “So this- so this is goodbye then?”

You didn’t mean to sound bitter, you tried with every last ounce of your dwindling strength. Turns out you’re weaker than you thought. “You’re the one leaving.”

The face he made. If he hadn’t just pushed your own heart into your own hand and squeezed, you would have held him so tight, dropping to both your knees in the foyer, rocking side to side, stroking through his hair.

He said your name, a whisper, a breath, he knows “I’m sorry. I love— I love you.”

“I know.” You smiled something melancholy, and you didn’t care how loud the lock clicking behind him was.

@new-romqntics @sw34terw34ther @beezywriting @loving-and-dreaming

[buckysgrace]

Thirty Eight

Kim

She loved Pearl. There was no other way around it. Pearl had come in and scooped her whole heart up. She was sweet. She meowed when she was hungry and would rub her body against Kim’s ankles when she wanted food.

Sometimes she got a lot of energy at night and only occasionally did she jump out from the corners of the hallways and attack ankles. Kim still gave her treats, still dressed her up like she was a little baby doll. She liked how fluffy she was, her big blue eyes and how she loved to have the attention on her. 

Kim was forever grateful to Billy. She felt like he had gifted her something that she had so desperately needed without knowing it. She felt a little safer when she slept at night and Pearl would curl up next to her pillow and rest her soft cheeks against her skin.

She had tried to reassure Billy, to tell him that she didn’t need anything else but he seemed keen on punishing himself. She still felt hurt over what he had done, but that was all forgiven. She thought that she still trusted him, but part of herself just seemed unsure. She tried to shake her thoughts, knowing that just because he hadn’t been loyal to others in the past, didn’t mean that their relationship would be the same.

“I have to go,” Kim cooed as she leaned over to kiss the top of Pearl’s fluffy head. Her eyes remained closed as she snuggled closer, part of her tongue hanging out of her mouth, “I’ll see you later. Keep Billy company for me.” She teased softly as she fluffed her sheets around Pearl’s body. She feared that Pearl would get too cold while she was gone. 

“Right,” Billy snorted as he gave her shoulders a soft squeeze, “Cindy gets to teach me how to watch the cakes rise today.” He stated softly as she turned to look back at him. She raked her eyes over him for a second, pleased with his clean shaven face and calm eyes. Whatever episode he’d been going through before was gone. She only felt bad that he had to do it alone while he was in jail. 

“Good luck,” Kim grinned softly as she looked up at him, “She’ll probably ask you about jail. And possibly about going out with you.” Kim responded sheepishly as she turned and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He brought his thick hands against her waist, holding her softly as his lips grew into a smile.

“Would you have eventually done it?” He asked her curiously, tilting his head so his blonde curls touched his shoulders. She was sure that his hair was officially longer than hers. She liked it and she thought that he really enjoyed having it long as well. 

She pondered for a moment, but she already knew her answer. She felt a bit bad for what it would be, but it was the truth. She didn’t want Cindy around Billy, because she knew exactly what Cindy would try to do. She felt a burning sense of jealousy suddenly, sure that it was white hot and written all across her features. 

“If Tommy or Steve offered you the same thing, would you let them?” She asked instead as she slowly twisted her fingers around his curls. She blinked away the image of Dakota on his lap, the way she’d been resting her hand against his shoulder. Kim was sure that it made her eyes twitch. She desperately wanted to bring up what Billy would’ve done if she had been sitting on someone else's lap, but stayed silent. She didn’t want to fight over something that was supposed to be settled. 

“Fuck no.” He responded quickly, his dark eyebrows drawn together as he looked bitter over the answer. She grinned as she pulled away, reminding herself that everything was alright between the two of them. He hadn’t been doing anything suspicious. He had only lied about taking drugs because he was ashamed. There was nothing else hidden. 

“Then no,” She smiled softly, “It was really sweet of Steve. I hope he’s not bitter about Casper- I mean, Steve JR.” She said a second later, wondering how the little piggy was doing. He was cute. The more Kim thought about him, the more she was reminded of Steve. She thought it was perhaps the long, untidy hair on the rodent that built up similarities between the two. 

“It’s a rat,” Billy scoffed as he rolled his eyes before he gently squeezed her ass, “Come on before I get in trouble for being late.” He told her, sending her an urgent look as he tapped her ass again. She giggled as she stepped out of the room, trying not to mention how only last night he had been trying to convince her to feign being sick on the last day before break. She was quickly reminded how little Rosemary trusted her now.

Kim always liked school the last day before most of their breaks. The teachers didn’t seem as grumpy, equally as excited to get out of the building. Their homeroom had a mini party, to which Kim brought in some cookies that Rosemary had whipped up the night before. 

“You missed it.” Audrey said pointedly as Kim held a cupcake up to her lips. Kim felt her eyes widen three different sizes as she breathed in roughly, setting the dessert down on her plate as she recalled an earlier conversation with her. 

“Oh,” Kim breathed out softly, “I’m sorry. I had family things come up and -,” She began to explain, knowing she had a good explanation as to why she couldn’t have gone anyways. Audrey cut her off before she could fully finish. 

“You promised.” She said as she crossed her arms over Kim’s desk. Kim paused for a second, her eyebrows knitting together as she thought of their conversation over again. In no way did Kim recall promising to go. Especially after she found out that Sam and Rosemary weren’t as particular about where or who she was seeing. Well, at the time they won’t. 

“I didn’t,” Kim said at last, speaking cautiously as she approached the subject, “I said I’d think about it. I just never got back to you. Things happened.” She replied as she nodded her head slowly, surprised at how she didn’t feel guilty. Even if she had promised, she would’ve missed it. She was a mess while Billy was away. She had felt even worse when he refused the visits or to at least call. She found one way to soothe herself through the guilt of him being away while she got off clean. 

“It’s fucking shitty.” Audrey huffed out in annoyance, rolling her eyes like Kim had done something awful. Kim pursed her lips together, feeling a little annoyed as she shook her head in disagreement.

“It wasn’t a full agreement though,” Kim reminded softly, “I told you, things happened.” She explained, feeling a little bitter as she was left to recall how shitty her week had been while Billy was gone. She had never felt so lonely before. 

“Like what?” Audrey asked in disbelief, but edged a little closer like she was digging for information. Kim shook her head as she took a large bite out of her cupcake. She chewed it for a moment, hoping that the rush of the sugar would wash the irritation from her veins. 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” She said a little more stern, “It’s my own business.” She shrugged her shoulders at last, feeling a little more reassured in the way she spoke even though she could feel her face burning again.

Audrey pouted her lips out, but nodded her head despite the disappointed look across her features. She turned away again, leaving Kim along to her plate of dessert while she opened her book again. 

She excused herself from ceramics half way through the class, frustrated with how her gift for Rosemary was turning out. She’d restarted it twice, but was beginning to feel like she would never get it right. 

“How do you feel about this test?” Danielle asked as she sat up near the window, smoking as she looked out at the view. Kim shrugged her shoulders as she played with her nails. They didn’t have the same class period, but did share the same teacher. It would be during her last class. 

“A little nervous I guess,” Kim said softly, “I think it’ll be okay though.” She admitted, knowing that there weren’t a lot of classes that she had ever done bad in. Even with everything going on, she was still doing alright in school. Sometimes it was just easier to bury herself in her books than deal with other things that were happening. 

“Here,” Danielle persisted as she handed Kim a little bottle, “Liquid luck.” She said teasingly as she dropped it into Kim’s palm. She stared at it, all too familiar with the little bottles that she’d been drinking throughout the week with Danielle. It did relieve her stress, as much as she hated to admit it. 

“I don’t think getting drunk will help with my test.” Kim said seriously, quite sure that it would only make things worse. She had been reminding herself that Billy was back, so she no longer needed to make herself feel better. She didn’t need to drink anything away as nothing was wrong. 

“It’s about helping your nerves,” Danielle laughed as she reminded Kim of what she had previously told her. She brought one of the bottles up to her lips, “I’ve had like two already.” Kim turned towards her intrigued, not noticing a difference in her behavior. 

Kim lingered for a moment before she did what she knew she shouldn’t. She brought the tiny bottle up to her lips, letting the smooth liquid drain down her throat as she savored the burn and the way it made her body warm. She was getting better at drinking them, her face no longer contorted into such disgust.

“Do you want another?” Danielle asked her curiously, although she held out four little bottles. Kim stared at them for a moment before she nodded her head, taking them in her hands and shoving them into her large cardigan pockets. She always drank them before she got home, too afraid that Sam might find the little bottles. 

“I hope you have a good break,” Kim spoke up once they were finished, a little giggly as they headed back to class, “You’ll have to bring me a postcard or a picture.” She told Danielle seriously, thinking it would be cool to see what London looked like.

“I can bring you if you want.” Danielle said cheerily, linking their arms together as she dragged Kim back to class. She felt her eyes widen, completely taken aback by her suggestion. She meant no offense, but she didn’t think she’d want to travel somewhere that far with just Danielle. 

“No,” Kim said quickly, “I mean my mom is coming for Thanksgiving. I can’t leave.” She added, hoping that she didn’t sound rude as they settled back into their own table. Ceramics was always busy, people bustling back and forth as they worked on their projects. Their teacher hardly paid attention, probably didn’t notice that the girls were gone for so long. 

“Oh fun,” Danielle replied dryly, “Why did your parents separate?” She asked curiously as they sat back down. Kim stared at the project in front of her as she picked up her little scoop again, determined to get the design correctly. 

“Lots of reasons,” Kim said softly, “My mom hates him. I’m not really sure how this is going to turn out.” She admitted as she shrugged her shoulders, hoping that it wouldn’t be something bad. She desperately missed Susan. No matter how many times she called, Susan never answered. Wayne had a few times and always said that she was busy or gone. It wasn’t very reassuring. 

She felt all too giddy by the end of the day and she realized that Billy was back to picking them up. She felt happy, chattering with him freely about how his day was. She liked listening to him talk and wished he wouldn’t feel like he had to be so reserved now that he wasn’t manic anymore.

“Were you drinking?” Billy asked, stalling her movements before she could walk into the house. She looked at him with wide eyes, a flush settling over her body as she awkwardly tugged on the strands of her backpack. 

“I had a little bottle,” Kim admitted softly as she felt the shame rising inside of her chest, “Is that bad?” She asked him seriously, fearing what his answer would be. She was still sure that she was doing the wrong thing, even after he had told her otherwise. She was scared but she couldn’t stop. 

“No,” He said softly, “But maybe start chewing gum or something. Make sure no one can smell it on your breath.” He told her as he held out a piece of gum to her. She grinned as she took it, popping it into her mouth as she felt the minty flavor spreading over her tongue and cheek. 

“Oh,” She said softly as she leaned forward to kiss his cheek, “I missed you.” She told him seriously as she squeezed his shoulder softly. She knew it was risky to be affectionate outside, but she couldn’t help herself. She did miss him dearly. 

“I missed you too,” He said as he nuzzled his cheek against hers, “You know, you can drink around me.” He told her seriously as he gave her hand a soft squeeze. He pulled away as a car drove by, trying to look as casual as possible. 

“I don’t think you’re supposed to be drinking.” She replied, already shutting that idea down. There was no way that he would be drinking or doing any sort of drugs ever again around her. She was even cautious about weed, wondering if that would only make things worse on him. Even if he was denying it, she knew that he wanted it. 

“I’m not supposed to be doing drugs,” He told her softly, “But if you want to get drunk I’ll watch you.” He grinned in response, looking like it was a grand idea. She paused for a moment, searching his calm eyes. They were gentle, but she could notice a bit of desperation in them. She wondered if he still believed that she didn’t trust him. 

“Okay,” She said softly, “If you’re fine with that. We don’t have to do that today.” She reassured him as she walked inside, not sure if she should drink much more. She grinned widely, knocking her backpack off so she could bend over and scoop Pearl up into her arms. She always greeted her at the door.

“Yeah, take care of that brat,” Billy mumbled as he picked her backpack up with a shake of his head, “She won’t leave me alone. I can’t even piss in peace.” He responded bitterly as he walked to hang her backpack up on the rack.

“It just means that she loves you,” Kim told him seriously as she bumped her nose against Pearl’s wet one, “She’s a little princess.” She cooed happily, holding Pearl in her arms happily as she walked over to pull the tupperware from her bag. 

She felt a little nervous as she held Pearl in one arm and the Tupperware in the other. She paused as she walked forward and placed the dish into the sink, waiting for Rosemary to ask how her day had been. She stayed silent. 

“How was the bakery?” Kim asked instead, trying to sound as cheery as possible as she stroked her fingers through Pearl’s soft fur. She purred in response, curling up to Kim like she knew how anxious she felt. 

“Alright,” Rosemary said softly, “How was school?” Rosemary asked as she continued to look ahead at whatever she was working on. Kim felt her lips curling into a frown, clearly knowing that Rosemary blamed Kim for what had happened. It had been tense between the two of them the past few days. Kim wasn’t sure what had changed, but something clearly had. 

“It was good,” Kim said softly, “I had a chemistry test today, but I think I did alright.” She mused quietly, hoping that Rosemary might think of something else to add. She wasn’t used to Rosemary’s cold shoulder, and wasn't really sure what she had done. She knew that she had lied, but so had Billy. She supposed it was because Billy was her son, however, Sam hadn’t treated him differently since everything had gone down. It made Kim feel even more guilty, like this was all somehow her fault. She thought in a way that it was. She should’ve never agreed to go to that party in the first place. 

“That’s good.” Rosemary said, dismissing her softly as Kim felt her shoulders sag. She dragged her tongue across her teeth, feeling the bumps and dips as she raked her brain for something else to say. 

“Any big cake orders coming up?” She asked, thinking of the first thing that came to her mind. Rosemary shook her head.

“Nope,” Rosemary said quickly, “We’re closed for Thanksgiving.” Kim was suddenly glad Billy didn’t want to tell her. She feared that Rosemary would blame her for the whole relationship, like she had manipulated Billy. 

Rosemary left the kitchen without another word, leaving her recipes out on the counter as she held her head up high and passed Kim without a sparing glance. Kim sighed roughly, wishing she knew how to make it up to her. 

“That was tense.” Max mumbled as she looked up from the dining room table, holding her skateboard on her lap as she scrubbed off some of the mud from where it had rained earlier in the week. 

“She hates me.” Kim mumbled underneath her breath. She sat down at the table, fiddling with the bag she’d left there yesterday as she pulled out some kitty sweaters. She settled them down on the table, ignoring the look Max sent her as she began to try the clothes on Pearl. 

“I think that’s a little dramatic,” Max told her seriously, “I think she’s just blaming herself for everything that’s happened with Billy.”  She shrugged her shoulders, like it wasn’t a big deal. Kim shrugged her shoulders softly, sure that she was partially being dramatic. At the same time, she felt that she was right. 

Sam entered the kitchen, gently sliding the patio door shut behind him as he breathed in deeply. Kim looked at him curiously, thinking he looked a little more disheveled than usual. 

“You look nervous,” Kim said softly, watching as he leaned over to give Max a kiss on the top of the head, “Is everything okay?” She asked him seriously, feeling a little bad for all of the stress he must’ve been going through lately. “Just thinking about how your mom will react,” Sam said as he walked over and repeated the same motions to Kim, “How’s Pearl?” He asked, dropping his hand to pet at her white fur. Pearl arched her back in response, purring as she rubbed her face against the table. 

“I think she looks better in blue,” Kim decided as she held Pearl up, showing off the little sweater she’d gotten for her, “She’s a sweet kitty.” She declared before she kissed Pearl’s cheek. Max snorted, but quickly looked away as Kim shot her a look. 

“Uh huh,” Sam said, looking like he agreed with what everyone else had to say about Pearl. She couldn’t help that Pearl had random bursts of energy, “She’s a kitty for sure.” He said at last, giving her another pet. Pearl swatted her paws out this time, like she was trying to take a hold of Sam. 

“Don’t listen to them,” Kim said, using a baby talk as she kissed Pearl’s cheek, “You’re my sweet kitty.” She said in a sing song way, happy with the way Pearl settled up against her. Russell burst through the room a second later, looking intrigued.

“You have a phone call,” He said as he glanced towards Kim, “Someone from Hawkins.” She rose quickly, setting Pearl down on her chair as she did so. She felt relief pool through her, sure that it had to be Susan calling. 

“Hello?”

“Kim!” Addi’s voice rang out on the other line, “Where have you been? I haven’t heard from you.” Kim felt guilt sinking into her stomach, eating at her as she knew it was the truth. So much had happened recently that she hadn't had time to think about calling Addi and keeping her updated. 

“Oh,” Kim blushed softly, “I’m so sorry. These past few weeks have been so busy. How have you been?” She asked quickly, tucking her hair behind her hair in hopes that Addi wouldn't ask what had happened. 

“Did you hear?” Addi spit out over the phone, “I’m coming with!” She shouted cheerfully, making a smile pull onto Kim’s lips. She had desperately missed her friend and felt like this was the best news that she’d received in a while. Other than Billy being released from jail, of course. 

“You are?” Kim squealed over the line as she held the phone tightly against her ear, “That’s great! I’ve missed you.” She gushed out, feeling like she hadn’t had a real friend since she’d gotten here. She hadn’t clicked with anyone the same way she’d clicked with Addi. 

“I missed you too,” Addi replied quickly, “I’m so excited to meet your dad. You guys are better then?” She asked, sounding a little worried as she spoke. Kim leaned against the wall, almost picturing what Addi was doing now. She could hear the Mamas and the Papas playing in the background and was sure that Addi must be curled up on her bed. Kim wondered if it had snowed there yet. 

“I guess so,” Kim said softly, trying not to think about it too much. Sam really was being helpful and understanding towards her. She just wished she could break through whatever wall was separating the two of them, “It’s still a little complicated but he’s really trying.” She said at last, feeling proud of her answer. 

“Gina said he was hot.” Addi’s statement took Kim by surprise. She opened her mouth, then shut it again before she held her lips wide in shock. She blinked a few times before she pulled the phone away and rubbed at it, sure that she had heard her friend wrong. 

“I-,” Kim paused, her cheeks burning as she pulled the phone back up to her ear, “That’s my dad!” She said at last, unsure of what else to say. She felt her nose wrinkling up in disgust, suddenly feeling very bad for Billy and Russell and the way people teased them about Rosemary being so pretty. 

“And Gina said he was really attractive,” Addi giggled on the other line, “I’m sorry.” She spoke between her giggles, sounding excited as she spoke. Kim shook her head in dismay, hoping that the other two were just trying to mess with her. She didn’t want to think about anyone finding her dad attractive. 

“Oh gosh,” Kim sighed as she shook her head, “How does Eddie feel about coming?” She asked instead, desperately trying to change the subject. She could feel the disgust rising in her stomach as she quickly shook the thought away. “Things are fine,” Addi brushed off Kim’s worries, “We’re all cool now. Eddie said he probably deserved it. He was pretty proud about the bruise that he got after.” She mentioned offhandedly. Kim chewed on her bottom lip, hoping that Eddie actually meant that. She supposed that she’d just have to worry about what Susan thought. 

“Good,” Kim said softly, “When will you get here?” She asked in excitement, wondering how it would be to have so many people in the same house. She could tell that Rosemary was excited about the prospect. 

“Sometime on Wednesday I think,” Addi said, “It seems like it’s a longer drive than I remember.” She exhaled deeply, sounding like she wasn’t a bit excited about the drive. Kim nodded her head in agreement, thinking about how the drive had been terribly long. She wished she could remember the name of the gas station with the glory hole, just to send Addi a warning. 

“I can’t wait to see you,” Kim said briskly, “Maybe you can share a room with me?” She questioned more to herself, trying to think about how they’d rearrange the rooms now. She had a feeling that Eddie and Addi wouldn’t be allowed to share a room either. 

“That would be fun,” Addi gushed in excitement, “I can’t wait to see you. Don’t forget to call me, alright?” She questioned softly as she gave Kim a stern reminder. Kim chewed on her bottom lip softly, not wanting to bring up what had happened with Billy.

“I won’t forget this time,” She promised softly, “I’ll see you soon.” She repeated her goodbyes, hoping that this visit would be smoother than what she was anticipating.

//////////////////////

“What are you doing?” She grinned as she sat up on her knees, her pillows bouncing around as Billy sneakily entered her room. She gave him an unsure look, watching as he triumphantly held up a few bottles of alcohol. “It’s the last day with you before we get moved around,” Billy grumbled as he kicked the door shut behind him, locking Pearl out, “I want to enjoy it.” He said briskly as he leaned over her bed to press his lips against hers. She smiled softly, enjoying the way his mouth molded against his. 

“How are we going to sneak around?” She teased him softly, wondering if he had been thinking about the same thing. They had never had so many people in the house before, it was going to be cramped and awkward. The only way she could make sense was maybe in the shower and that was only if they timed themselves correctly.

She also had to consider if he was still having issues getting hard. She didn’t want to admit it, but she had been worried that it had been about her when he brought it up. She was fearful it was because she didn’t look the right way, that something had shifted between them that she couldn’t get back. 

“I have no fucking idea,” He groaned as he plopped onto the bed with her, “I can’t go that long without you.” He grinned softly as he pressed his shoulder against hers. She smiled back, enjoying the joyful way his eyes lit up as he looked towards her. 

“We’ve gone longer,” She said slowly as she leaned forward to kiss his nose, “Just about everyone knows anyways.” She reminded him. The only people that really didn’t know were Russell and Rosemary. Perhaps Wayne, but she was already sure that Susan had ranted about them to him. 

“I think it’ll just make it worse if everyone did know.” He said a second later, nodding his head as he thought to himself. She watched the way his eyebrows furrowed together, the slight disappointment that crept along his features. 

“Maybe,” She agreed, thinking that he was probably right, “But maybe not.” She added a second later, trying to sound more hopeful. She was hoping that she was reading into her interaction with Rosemary wrong. They had been fine a few days ago. 

“Here,” He mumbled as he twisted the lid open on the bottle for her, “It’s fine, really.” He told her softly, his eyes glazing over the way her features were wrinkled up tightly. She could feel her mouth beginning to salivate, already missing the taste of it on he tongue. 

“What if my dad finds out?” She asked, even though that wasn’t the question she was thinking about. She knew she was being silly. He had already reassured her that there was nothing wrong with her drinking once in a while. She just needed to remember to control the habit. She could do that. 

“He won’t.” Billy reassured her, bumping her nose softly as he pressed the bottle into her hands. It felt heavy, but she liked the smell that lingered against her nose. She brought it up to her lips slowly, drinking a big gulp like it was a cool glass of water on a hot summer day. 

She drank until she felt silly and giggly. Billy encouraged her, like he was wanting her to let loose as he gave her bottle after bottle. She tried not to feel guilty, knowing that he was just feeling guilty for everything else that had happened. She knew it was dangerous, knew that he had no idea what she was really dealing with. 

“You’re so pretty,” She spit out as she drew her fingers across his jawline, enjoying how he felt in her fingertips, “Why are you so pretty?” She asked him seriously, tilting his chin up softly so she could get a better look at him. 

“I guess ask my mom,” Billy teased her softly, pretending to bite her as her finger lingered too close to his mouth, “Why are you so pretty?” He asked her, sounding just as serious. She jerked her head back, giggling softly as her eyes struggled to stay focused on his pretty blue ones. 

“I’m not as pretty as you.” She told him, wishing she had his thick eyelashes and curly blonde hair. She twisted her fingers through his hair, pulling herself onto his lap so she could get even closer. Her veins felt jittery, her mind fuzzy as she pressed her forehead against his. 

“Now you’re being weird,” He teased her as he shifted her in his lap, “You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.” He mumbled as he flicked his eyes across her features, his lips curling into a grin. He pressed his fingertips into her skin softly as she tilted her head, sitting back a bit to look at him seriously. 

“Even in porn?” She asked him, teasing him just a little bit. He looked at her a little surprised, his dark eyebrows raised in amusement. He chuckled softly as he gave her flesh a soft squeeze, tickling her sides. 

“Even in porn,” He confirmed as he pecked her lips, “Much better than any of those girls.” He chuckled as he pressed his lips against hers repeatedly. She leaned forward, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as she pulled him closer. She slid her tongue against his lips, licking away the taste of nicotine and mint from his tongue.

He hummed against her mouth, his fingertips lightly digging into her skin as she rolled her hips forward. He sighed against her open mouth as she dragged her tongue along the roof of his mouth, savoring the feeling of their tongues against one another. 

She pulled away slowly, her eyes wide with want as she followed the trail of spit that connected the two of them. She licked it away slowly, watching the way his blue eyes grew darker. She giggled softly, enjoying the feeling of his bulge against her thigh. 

“I wanna suck your dick.” She told him seriously, not caring how blunt she was as she scrambled onto the side of her bed. She grinned up at him, laying on her tummy as she pawed at the soft material of his pajama pants. 

His eyes were wide, staring down at her in disbelief like he couldn’t believe her words. She blinked up at him, smiling brightly as she moved her hand over his lap to palm at his hard on. She sighed softly, remembering what he felt like with her fingers wrapped around him. 

“Okay,” Billy breathed in softly, lifting his hips up just enough that she could free his thick cock. She breathed in deeply, feeling in awe of it as she leaned forward enough to lick away the precum from his tip, savoring the taste of him on her tongue, “Shit.” He breathed out softly as he moved his hands to tuck her hair behind her ears.

She took her time, teasing him slowly as she flicked her tongue across his slit again. She shifted a bit, moving her hands forward so she could slowly wrap her fingers around his cock. She admired how tan his skin was against hers, how red his tip was as she slowly rolled her hand down to his base.

She kissed his tip messily, sliding her tongue underneath his tip as she closed her eyes. His groans pressed her on as she lazily stroked him in her hand. She rolled her tongue along his skin slowly, teasing him as she slowly pressed him into her mouth.

“Fuck,” He hummed softly as he pressed his hand against the back of her head, playing with her hair as he urged her to go a little faster. She relaxed her jaw, pressing her tongue against the base of his cock as she slowly bobbed her head, “You’re such a dirty slut.” He groaned lowly as she continued to suck on his fat tip.

She pressed her hips down roughly against the mattress, squeezing her free hand against Billy’s waist as she rolled her tongue along his curves and ridges. She closed her eyes, pressing him in even deeper as she moaned around his girth.

His groans became louder as he jerked his hips up, pressing his cock deeper into her mouth as he petted her hair. She felt herself gagging, furrowing her eyebrows tightly together as the sense came over her suddenly and harshly. She pulled away, inhaling deeply as she tried to catch he breath. 

“Not so rough,” She warned him as she swallowed the drool that was dripping down her lips, “Just enjoy me.” She told him softly, sticking her tongue out as she tapped his cock against it. His eyes flashed, looking like he was almost too lustful to agree to her demands before he nodded his head.

She started her motions all over again, slowly licking around his cock before wrapping her lips around him and hollowing her cheeks. She closed her eyes, concentrating on making him feel good as she ignored the bubbling feeling that was growing in her stomach. She was suddenly feeling too hot. 

“Fuck, fuck,” He breathed out roughly, “Your mouth feels so good baby.” He urged her to move down further, groaning loudly as his cock hit the back of her throat. She felt her eyes widening, wincing as she felt something stirring in her stomach.

“Careful,” She said between spit, licking it away as she looked at him seriously, “I think I ate too much.” She mumbled as she pumped him roughly, enjoying the way he was jerking his hand up into her palm.

“S’alright,” He told her eagerly, his eyes wide with lust as he watched her, “I’ll be careful. I promise.” He begged her, looking like he couldn’t wait another moment as he urgently tugged on her hair. She nodded her head, licking away the rest of the drool before she slid him into her mouth again. 

She moaned at the taste of him, quickly licking around his curves and ridges again as his cock weighed heavily in her mouth. She bobbed her head slowly, taking each inch slowly in her mouth to keep from upsetting her stomach any further.

Billy was restless, obviously still desperate from being unable to get hard a few days ago. He tugged on her hair again, pushing her head down roughly as he pressed his hips up hard. She gagged around him, his cock hitting the back of her throat as she felt the sensation taking over again. 

Kim pulled away, with just enough time before she was vomiting on the floor between Billy’s legs. She heaved over his lap, narrowly avoiding his feet as she emptied her stomach. She gagged, her eyes squinting shut as tears fell into her eyes. 

“Oh shit,” Billy’s legs spread quickly as fear laced in his tone, “Oh fuck. I’m sorry, shit.” He cursed, sounding in disbelief as she laid over his legs. She felt a sob breaking into her chest as embarrassment took over. 

She was almost too afraid to leave, too afraid to see what his face was as she sobbed between his legs. He awkwardly shifted, tucking his now soft dick away as he kept his feet spread widely. She sniffled hard, pulling away softly as she covered her hands over her face. 

“Hey,” She shook her head, listening to the way Billy shifted around the bed. She sighed deeply, hiccuping as she tried to wiggle herself away, “It’s okay. Just wait right here. I’m going to get a towel.” He mumbled, but all she did was cover her shaky hands over her eyes to hide herself away. 

She breathed in deeply, trying to stall the way her heart was beating roughly and how the sweat was forming down the base of her neck. She sniffled a few more times, wiping at her nose and her eyes as she scooted to the edge of the bed. 

“I can clean it,” She croaked out, her cheeks hot as she watched Billy bend down to the floor and wipe it away with a few towels, “Please. Let me get it.” She mumbled, still feeling weak in her knees as she sat up. She sniffled roughly, her breath catching in her throat as she began to stand. 

“It’s fine,” Billy reassured her quickly, giving her a soft look as he cleaned it all away and then folded it away. She felt a numb feeling settling over her body, feeling dumb for how this night had suddenly gone, “Do you want a bath?”

“I don’t know,” She blubbered out, “I didn’t mean to puke.” She told him quickly as she wiped her eyes again, wondering if he would ever trust her to go down on him again. He paused for a moment as he wrapped the towels up.

“Don’t worry about it,” He said softly as he stood up to push her hair behind her ears. She shook her head, too embarrassed to look him in the eye. She couldn’t believe her actions still, in disbelief over how she’d so easily thrown up everywhere, “I’ve done plenty worse. I once got my windows mixed up and snuck back in through dads, then puked all in his loafers.”

Kim shook her head suddenly, feeling a little crazed as she began to laugh at the thought of Neil wearing around loafers. Billy hummed softly as he pushed her hair from her hair, touching her gently as he rocked her back and forth.

“Let’s go take a bath,” He suggested softly, “It’ll make you feel better. I promise.” He told her softly as he kissed her forehead. She sighed deeply, nodding her head as she wished for the humiliation to go away.

He took her hand, giving her a soft squeeze as he tugged her out of the room. She followed him, dragging her feet against the hardwood floors as he tugged her towards the bathroom. She peeked down the hallway, ensuring that they were alright before she walked inside after him.

She didn’t get much out before he was stripping her out of her pajamas and warming up the water for her. She shivered a bit, feeling exposed as the cold air nipped at her skin. He held onto both of her hands, being gentle with her as he helped her stand into the tub.

“You’re not joining me?” She squinted her eyes as she looked at him, wondering if she had gotten puke all over herself without realizing it. He chuckled as he filled a cup up with the warm water and slowly dumped it over her hair.

“Not tonight,” He hummed softly as he lathered up some soap onto his hands and began to scrub it through her hair, “I just want you to relax.” He replied gently as she tried to focus on the way his fingertips felt against her scalp. She sniffled softly, her cheeks feeling raw. 

“That was so embarrassing,” She mumbled as she wiped at her face, feeling silly for crying over it, “I’m sorry.” She told him truthfully, hating how easily that had happened. She was sure that she had never felt so humiliated before in her life. He held his palm over her forehead before he sprinkled water over her head again. 

“Why are you sorry?” He asked her, chuckling softly as he washed the rest of her hair out, “I kept pushing you. I should be apologizing.” He told her softly. She picked up the sound of anger in his tone, not liking how he was somehow pinning this on himself again. 

“You’re too hard on yourself,” She told him softly, leaning against his hand even though the water was beginning to drip onto the floor, “Thank you for taking care of me.” She told him truthfully, enjoying the way he began to wash the rest of her off. Her arms felt like noodles, like they were glued to her sides. 

“Figured it was about time I returned the favor.” He told her softly as he continued to wash her off. She wiggled her toes, watching the way they poked out of the water as she fought the urge to lean back against the tub and close her eyes. She was suddenly tired. 

“You already had,” She reminded him softly, but didn’t want to linger in her thoughts about Logan, “I’m so glad I have you.” She told him truthfully, knowing that no one else would take care of her in this manner. He chuckled softly, finishing up his job before he pulled the drain on the tub. 

He dried her off, doing his best to stay gentle as he helped her dress again. He brushed her hair out softly, giving her soft reassurances as he did so. She gave his knee a soft squeeze, leaning into him softly as he peppered a kiss against her forehead.

She scrubbed her teeth clean after that, desperate to get the taste out of her mouth. Billy joined her a second later, his eyes glazing over towards her in the mirror as she did her best to relax. She wondered if this would change his opinion over what he had told her.

“Do you feel better?” He asked her softly as he brushed his thumb across her cheek. She leaned against his touch, inhaling his strong scent. She closed her eyes as she rested against his skin, enjoying how he felt against her. 

“Yes,” She mumbled softly when she finally opened her eyes, admiring the sweet look in his blue eyes, “Thank you.” She told him gently, wrinkling her nose softly as he leaned forward to give the tip of her nose a soft kiss. 

“Don’t thank me,” He told her sternly as he gave her bottom a swift pat, “Off to bed.” He ordered a second later as he shut the light off on the two of them. She stumbled out for a second, holding her hands against the wall until her eyes grew adjusted to the darkness.

She walked towards her room, still feeling a little out of it as she felt the paint from the walls dragging against her palms. She glanced at the pictures briskly, wondering how Sam had felt when he was in this same state.

“Fuck,” Billy cursed loudly, making her snap her head back towards him, “Damn cat.” He mumbled, bending over to pick Pearl up by her scruff. She meowed softly, looking quite proud of herself. 

“She’s just a baby,” Kim told him softly, teasing him lightly as he dropped Pearl into his arms. He jerked her forward with his chin, giving her a knowing look, “Bossy.” She mumbled playfully, not blaming him if he really was upset. She walked forward, slowly crawling into bed.

Billy dropped Pearl onto her chest lightly before he adjusted her pillows behind her head. He tucked her in a second later, smiling softly as he leaned over to kiss the top of her head. She looked up at him, suddenly feeling like she was very small.

“You better get some good sleep,” He told her gently as he rubbed his index finger against her chin, “It’ll be a big day coming up.” He mumbled as he traced his thumb across her bottom lip. She felt a shiver race up her back as she nodded her head.

“I love you.” She mumbled softly, hoping he still felt the same way even though she almost vomited all over his dick. His lips curled into a lazy smile.

“I love you too,” He said softly, “I bet more than what you do.” He sent her a sly wink, but looked like he fully believed his words. She shook her head but was too tired to fully argue with him. She felt her eyes shutting harshly, the prospect of sleep calling out to her like a lullaby.