#forcing the seed brothers to spend time together

[animasolascreenshots]

[envy-of-the-apple]

Okay,, you have to let us know are the eggs any characters Specifically like megumi or itadori? I bet they would be clingy mommas boys.

Love you crumbs you give us and happy late birthday 🫶🏻

awww ty bestie okay okay okay holdonholdon

You'd name the hatchlings. Idk if I mentioned this or not but in the excerpt, the reader names Suguru and Satoru cuz they didn't have a concept of language yet. I think once they had a general concept of human language, they'd use their human names for each other just like you do.

When Nobara, Yuji and Megumi hatch, they'd definitely hang onto you the most. It's mostly because you are the most caring out of the throuple you were forced into. It makes sense for you to care about them, right? After all, human babies are pretty helpless and that's how far your knowledge extends. And they're adorable, with big round eyes, making cute little chitters. You get a tiny bit protective of them, especially considering the other two nagas don't carry the same sentiment. Suguru is clearly a believer of tough love and you've caught Satoru trying to put one of the eggs in his mouth (you're pretty sure he was joking...but you arent risking it when they're this tiny). They're small right now, but naga hatchlings grow up fast. They're practically your height in just a couple of years.

I feel personally, Yuji would be the (most outwardly) clingiest. He's affectionate, more dog than snake, sometimes. He's the largest of his siblings. When he was smaller, his favorite thing to do was wrap himself around your shoulders and you'd carry him around. He can't do that now, but he has other ways of spending time with you. He 'hunts' with you the most, assisting you with collecting berries and fruit. Apart from you, he'd bond with Satoru more. They share a similar personality, both are easily amused.

Megumi would be the shyest, but he loves you just as much as his siblings do. Much like his fathers, he enjoys the warmth you provide and would love cuddling with you in the languid hours of the evening. He doesn't do that much when he's older, but he's still interested in spending time with you! He likes quality time, the most. Eventually, during your time on the island, you'd have set up a tiny garden. He'd help with that. He and Suguru would have lots of similarities, so you'd often catch them together. They'd both help with your garden, helping cultivate the seeds and soil. It's not natural for them, but they understand you're different from nagafolk

But I think Nobara would be the one you're the closest to. She hatched the first. She's also different from her brothers. Again, in the naga species, the females become something akin to sirens. Slowly, you'd notice how different she is compared to her brothers, how much she enjoys the water, how dry her skin gets when she stays on land for too long. She'd evolve differently. Webbed hands, her tail would be more lithe, finned.

Because she's so different, Satoru and Suguru don't have much of an interest in her. Again, much like reptiles, nagas are fairly independent at a young age. Satoru and Suguru allow the hatchlings to stick around because you'd pitch a fit otherwise and they try to keep their mate happy. Once it becomes clear Nobara is aquatically gifted, you'd be terrified of the thought of her being out alone at sea, so you'd often go out with her, not caring how pruny your fingers get. Because of how much time you spend with her, I think she'd be the most interested in humans. She'd ask you about human culture, human customs. Every once in a while, she'd go out and collect remnants of humanity, clothes, trinkets, jewelry, anything she can find off the ocean floor. She'd sit on the rocky shore, holding out each one, demanding you to explain them to her.

You wouldn't dare mention how much you fear her fathers, but I feel Nobara would be the first to realize that you don't want to be here. She can see it in your eyes, the longing whenever you're explaining another human trinket. She wants you to be happy, but if you go back to the humans....would you still have time for her? Would you still braid her hair? Take care of her? Love her?

In the end, Nobara is the most similar to her fathers. She'd keep you on the island too.

ughhhhhh i should just write that chaptered naga fic already this is getting ridiculous.

[lactoseintolerentswag]

Rise Characterizations Pt. 8!!!!!!!!

This has literally been sitting in my drafts for so long I forgot it existed. Sorry to all the Baron Draxum fans (and Draxum himself, bbgirl deserves better). If you're new to my line of notes here's the beginning where I started with Raph. Alright part 8, Baron Draxum, here we go.

Language Habits:

Speaks in long and drawn out sentences, if you're getting nervous about run-on sentences you're on the right track

Due to this, tends to give speeches or monologues

Dramatizes everything fairly eloquently, look for the most exaggerated form of a word. Classic villain speak: "imbeciles", "brethren", "eliminate"

Puts emphasis on those dramatic adjectives and verbs

Occasionally refers to himself in the third person, not as often as Raph

Tends to yell or raise his voice when frustrated or lost in passion

A common gag is trailing off in a casual tone about the severity of his experiments ie his "if it works right" about the ooze causing pain when mutating that poor fish guy

Personality:

Incredibly intelligent yet impatient. It isn't known to my knowledge who taught Draxum or if he taught himself, but his mastery of alchemy and fighting makes him a truly impressive opponent. However, he's always cutting corners to get to his goal. He wasn't willing to raise through the ranks of The Foot the traditional way, he created an army of mutants rather than seek yokai, and was unwilling to spend further time interpreting the prophecy of doom towards yokai-kind

Flair for the (over)dramatic. Draxum is almost your classic evil villain kind of guy. He'll pull out all musical stops, including flowing hair and clothes. On the other end he'll completely overreact and commit to things of little matter like his position as a lunch lady.

Unyielding in his stubbornness. Draxum is not easily swayed in his belief, and even as hard as Mikey tries he is not rid of his disdain for humans by the end of the series. Guy was also incredibly persistent in his research despite his lab blowing up twice. This also allows him to hold longer grudges, even resorting to childish pettiness if he feels annoyed enough.

Affinity for muscles and power. He was drawn to Lou Jitsu for many reasons, but a main one was definitely his muscles. All his guards are usually incredibly beefy, and he was immediately drawn to Raph as "beautiful" when he's reintroduced to his specimens. As for power, he's drawn to the dark armor and is lost in the ecstasy of being imbued with so much mystic energy.

Self-absorbed and egotistical. Draxum is kind of obsessed with his title and self-proclaimed responsibility for saving yokai-kind. He's not one to easily admit his mistakes and takes great pride in his work.

Willing to toe the line of morality. Huginn and Muninn have blatantly called him their evil boss, but Draxum does see his actions for the good of yokai-kind. I don't think he really cares if he's working with evil organizations (The Foot) or doing evil things if he saves the day.

Team builder. I think it's interesting how Draxum is drawn to building teams. He's drawn to working together, all he wants to do is unite yokai and his mutants into an efficient force. This does not mean he's very successful.

Miscellaneous:

Has minor telekinesis

Was a warrior before he was an alchemist

Does not have a good relationship with the Three Heads (apparent leaders of the Hidden City)

Controls seeds that can a) grow into vines, b) expand into robotic vine gauntlets, c) encase his gauntlets into meatier gauntlets that can shoot out waxy cocoons

Is referred to as a sheep-man from the brothers, but I suppose whatever animal you interpret him as is up to you

Has a great singing voice :) ( which is subjective I suppose)

Alright now that is finally posted just gonna let you know that this Isn't the last of my rise analysis posts!! I'm so sorry for the wait!! I got lost in so many schedule things. I'll try and pump a few more analysis posts out within these next few weeks (excluding June 16-22), but I've also been busy working on miscellaneous wips. Thank you for being so sweet to me on all the other notes posts, you guys are so awesome :)

[oh-no-its-bird]

Ok, so. Smashing together my recent posts (stoner Itama / the secret Senju weed empire money / co-dependent twins Itama and Tobirama) to make a cohesive narrative:

So, Itama survives AU.

In this, Itama and Tobirama are twins. They're very close, arguably closer to each other than Hashi is to either of them.

Growing up, after Kawarama died, Hashirama found a new friend in his boy by the river. Meaning the twins were sort of left to mourn on their own, their older brother no longer as interested in playing with them. They got to be almost dangerously codependent, and their father only encouraged it bc they were also training to fight as a duo, and the codependency made the team synergy go crazy hard.

On that note, they're absolutely terrifying in battle together for sure. They're nightmares on their own already, but together?? Let's say that as long as they're fighting side by side, they're on the same level as Hashirama himself.

Itama grows up to be a scientist like Tobirama, but in a different field of science— ✨️plants✨️

Itama is like, a bioengineer for plants. He's crossbreeding the fuck out of these bad boys, finding ways to amplify certain traits in some plants, erase them altogether in others, or mixing them up for the best of both worlds. Full doctor Frankenstein plant edition

It's fun bc he often gets help from both of his brothers, and he's also able to help the both of them in turn!

Hashirama helps with growing plants, meaning Itama doesn't have to wait the years this research would usually take. He can go from nothing to having his final product in days flat when it should have taken a fucking lifetime to do. If he fucks up it's no stress bc as long as he has the seeds, Hashirama can just grow him a new plant to start from! All he needs is one single seed and an entire world of new possibilities is unlocked.

On top of all that, the mokuton can affect the plants in ways growing by regular time doesn't, so Itama also gets to play with special mokuton plants too

Then Itama can give Hashirama all sorts of new plants to potentially use in battle, tho Hashirama doesn't seem to want to use want against the Uchiha. But like. He has them!! And it's fucking terrifying!!! Plus they can just in general bond over being plant enthusiasts. If Hashi finds a cool new plant or vice versa they can get excited about it together

Tobirama understands all to most of Itama's research, at least in theory, and will often help with his experiments. Likewise, Itama also understands all to most of Tobirama's own research (at least in theory) and can help him in return. Having their own specific fields of interest, they're often bringing a fresh pair of eyes and different thought process to the others experiments, and it's great for them both. SO many results.

Itama is let in on most of Tobirama's projects, and even if he's not helping he generally knows what he's working on and vice versa. They have few secrets and its actually just in general very good for Tobirama specifically. Like, mentally and support wise.

Because Itama never died to serve as that final push over the edge, and was instead there to offer emotional support, Tobirama didn't turn to necromancy. (If he had tho, Itama would have been fully on board— sorry Hashirama) Instead, maybe he's spending that time being even more focused on cool time/space jutsu or something.

So like, all grown up he's a poison specialist with a major wind chakra attribute and minor fire attribute. His main weapon is a pipe, which he just smokes normally on top of using its smoke as a weapon. He can put so much pressure into the smoke that it becomes physical, and can then be used as a blunt force weapon (on top of ofc the smoke being used as just smoke, and having different effects on its own)

He's immune to a lot of his smokes effects, but has special extra powerful versions of most of his go to weaponized smokes that are so strong they work even on him. Obviously, he doesn't usually use these in battle, but they're there as a last resort

Fun sort of chain reaction attack where he disperses some super flammable powder or smoke then tosses in a single spark and it goes up like fucking fireworks. Or a cool combo attack where Tobirama provides hella fog with whatever water is nearby, and Itama condenses it so thickly that it chokes out their enemies without having to lift a single finger.

He can make like, platforms of smoke to stand on or use as shields, and he's especially good at deflecting and redirecting enemy attacks with carefully condensed smoke shields summoned up at just the right angles. Like, imagine you throw a kunai and it bounces off some invisible platform, then off ANOTHER invisible platform, and somehow its still gaining momentum (propelled by summoned winds or wrapped in a slightly solidified veil of smoke thats moving it on its own) and hits you right in the eyes

He absolutely fucks around with making all SORTS of custom effects with whatever he's smoking, which also brings us to the idea that got me here in the first place ->

Ok so the joke about the Senju having a secret weed empire where they sell ultra special mokuton weed, but it happens fr in this AU bc of Itama.

Stoner Itama deciding he can make the weed even better and forgetting what the word self-control means and making objectively the best weed in the naruto world. Ultra delux genetically modified mokuton grown senju weed.

Tobirama kind of gets on him for it at first (not liking the idea of mind-altering substances) but then tries some and stares dead silent at a wall for 10 hours then silently gets up, makes several scientific breakthroughs, then passes out dead on the floor.

They get Hashirama in on it and start mass producing, then start selling it and very quickly and mostly accidentally create a secret senju weed empire (oops?) which also gives them hella funds or the war and other things

No one can even reproduce their weed bc they need the Mokuton to grow it right, they have no competition in the market. AND their product safety/quality is insane bc Tobirama's perfectionist ass helps oversee it

Bc of Itama's interference, Izuna lives, and when they make Konoha the weed money means the first shinobi war doesn't happen bc they can afford to bribe officials they couldn't before (and probably have a uhh. Much more relaxed Kage meeting that year.)

You can't go to war with Konoha !!! That's where all the best ninja weed comes from !!!

Itama and Izuna get along really well actually. Izuna's cringe fail ass does NOT know how to smoke and refuses to admit it, he also becomes Itama's favorite test subjects for new product bc he and his brothers tolerance levels are insane so they need like, a normal guy to try shit on

As a person, Itama is one of those really friendly, charming, easy to get along with guys who seem to have a ton of friends— but when you look a bit closer you quickly notice that while many of those friends share their woes with him, he doesn't really with them. He has lots of friends but isn't really close to any.

He's a pretty good mix of his brothers, seeming friendly and cheerful like Hashirama but much more down to earth, and with the same ruthless streak as Tobirama underneath all the gentle mannerisms. He might be more ruthless than either of his brothers when it really comes down to it, but he's very slow to strike or anger, and virtually no one but his brothers and Touka really know he even has that side to him.

He's Konoha's lead poisons expert, is 100% aware and helping Tobirama with all of his especially fucked up experiments, and honestly that should tell you enough— but most tend to get distracted by the soft smiles and sleepy expression.

Art interlude ->

Anyways uhhh. All of this only exists bc I started thinking ab stoner Itama getting dumped face first into modern Konoha with Izuna, the two of them having been hiding after pissing off Madara for unimportant reasons. They don't realize they're not in their Konoha, and proceed to run from Madara (who they still think is mad at them)

Meanwhile Madara is losing his fucking MIND trying to chase down the ghost of his brother, and also some guy...? Who is that actually? He doesnt really give a shit tbh, Izuna oh god please come back here— ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH RIGHT NOW?

@fashionredalert : Zetsu lived in fear of Itama because itama would have made him into an edible That's why zetsu is two colors, itama smoked one half of him before zetsu managed to escape. One half intact the other half charred black

Please?? The closest hes been to death in years.

Itama was put on this earth to smoke everything he physically can, he hasnt been sober since he was 13, he no longer knows the meaning of fear or sanity. If it can burn he can smoke it

Hes holding one of those tiny Zetsu's going "Hey look at this fucked up plant I found :DD" then taking it straight into the weed lab

Zetsu specifically had him killed in canon bc he knew he'd grow to be too powerful pass it on

[ammstify]

Late night thoughts but, y'know what I really love in media? Imperfect relationships.

And no I don't mean relationships where they argue a lot or don't completely click together.

One of the tropes that I happen to dislike is the idea of people in love being each others "perfect half", that "complete each other" and "fill the gaps within them" (no innuendo intended).

Sure its sweet, heart warming, and gives off a sense of hope but, realistically, nobody truly completes someone!

Which is how I came up with my own little term for my favorite relationships; Kintsugi relationships.

For those who don't know, kintsugi, also known as kintsukuro, is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery using gold, silver, or platinum dust! This creates a rather beautiful but imperfect appearance to the pottery, showing the lines of breakage while holding it together, but never truly healing it all the way.

One of my favorite current ships, Vashwood (aka Vash the Stampede and Nicholas D. Wolfwood from the Trigun franchise) reflect this type of relationship to me!

Both Vash and Wolfwood suffer from their own individual traumas, being filled to the brim with metaphorical and physical scars that eat away at them.

Vash struggles with hundreds of years worth of trauma, reflected upon his whole body after trying to save countless lives from death and violence. Some caused by bandits, some caused by his own brother, and some... Caused by him.

He struggles with nightmares and PTSD, remembering the incidents and death that was all his own fault, mourning the unknown lives that he had taken by accident during both the fall of SEEDS, the July incident, and the destruction of the moon. He relives it, and makes it his whole purpose to avoid those incidents from ever happening again.

And he suffers in silence, hiding behind a fake smile, under a red damaged duster and protective armor, with nobody truly knowing what goes through his head as he lives day by day, trying to provide some hope to the world.

Wolfwood also struggles with quite a lot of trauma, feeling the leftover scars deep within his bones, even though nary are visible upon his flesh. He remembers each bullet wound, each knife stabbing, each bit of blood that was shed before he drank a potion, forcing him back to life to continue fighting.

He also remembers the torturous abuse he went through to become a member of the Eye of Michael, to become their Punisher, forcing his body to age and grow beyond its means and become subhuman.

And even though he denies it, he remembers all the death he has caused too. All the bandits he's fought, all the targets he's followed, all to appease a faceless man to protect his childhood home at the orphanage. He drinks and smokes the pain away, never truly opening up to people while acting like a saintly priest, knowing how much pain he's caused for a cause he didn't believe in.

At least.... Until they met, and left together to search for Knives. And slowly but surely, unlike any other person they met, began to unravel and slowly heal each others open wounds.

The two of them find comfort in each others trauma, their battle scars, their imperfectness, spending every moment as they travel No Man's Land together. The bicker, they fight, they laugh, they smile, they rest and share tears. But they never try to fix each other, only bide their time and ignore their own pain, while finding a purpose in life to live and fight.

They are each others kintsugi, the gold that holds them together, that doesn't completely heal the countless imperfections, wounds, and trauma. But they don't care, because they'd rather share each others tomorrows and feel human for once, even for but a moment in each others presence...

The same applies to a pair of ocs my friend and I have developed for quite some time, with the two ironically mirroring Vashwood in terms of relationship! They both struggle with their own individual traumas, and while they can't completely heal the metaphorical and physical scars, they can mend and soothe the leftover wounds.

They both suffer in silence in their own ways, but find comfort as they unravel each others hidden scars. They're imperfect, they're damaged, they go through highs and lows... but the fact that they have someone to fill part of those gaps with love and comfort makes it all worth it.

And that my friends, is the key to a kintsugi relationship; Embracing and loving imperfection, and healing wounds but never getting rid of them

Also another really cool and similar example that my friend brought up was the Sashiko sewing technique, which like Kintsugi, is focused upon repairing damage on a piece of fabric by creating unique stitches!

To quote from them, “Nothing is perfect nor does it last forever but there is beauty it’s the wounds and cracks that it bears. Showing them healed and not fixed brings a humanness to things that otherwise wouldn’t have it.”

And man...

If that doesn't represent Vashwood's whole relationship in their story, I don't know what does!

They also mentioned, "Something born out of necessity but bringing beauty to it anyway, really does scream Vashwood," which seeing by this quote is absolutely true!

Anyway, for anyone who reads this, thank you for taking the time to do so, and have a good night/day!! Maybe in the future I'll discuss some more fun things with Trigun, my ocs, or maybe another fandom of a certain fantastical variety? 👀

[ghostherlig]

I actually dream of the day u write something bi-han/shang tsung omg...

ohhhh those two... they are so toxic in my mind fr- not that that's going to stop me from writing them, i do enjoy playing around with those relationship dynamics- esp since in my mind there's such a power imbalance between the two of them

the long-short of it is, bi han and shang tsung feed each others egos and bi han is very dependent on shang and his view of him to function well in their alliance- and shang uses that to his advantage at every turn bc all it takes to get bi han to change his mind is to plant a seed of doubt- aruashdfkjs

alternate version of them being a bit sweeter but possibly even hilariously like mk11 aftermath sindel and shao khan- literally "what bones of his shall i break for you, my love?" "mm. surprise me. <333" like that kind of so in love but toxic and cruel to literally everyone around them LMAO-

i am going to yap abt them for a moment bc i do have Some Personal Headcanons about the lin kuei and shirai ryu and shang tsung and how that all plays out post-mk1--

in my mind, kuai and tomas almost immediately separate from the lin kuei and form the shirai ryu in secret, cutting all communication with bi han-

and in my mind, bi han isnt happy about that, he does miss his brothers, even if he never admitted it to himself before that moment- it's also a personal hc of mine that bi han wouldnt have been such a shitty brother if it werent for the relationship he had with his parents- in my mind bi han was forced to spend a lot more of his time with his father and got to see things that kuai and tomas had no idea about-

think azula and zuko- bi han is his father's son, and his father used that to mold bi han into his version of the perfect warrior, and bi han shaped his expectations of himself and his brothers around that image as well

so, when kuai and tomas break off of him and "betray him" in his eyes, he's upset about it.

but he also gets shang out of it, and i feel like there's a golden opportunity there for some ✨One-Sided Codependency✨

shang tsung helps feed bi han's ego and personal security, which bi han needs now that he doesnt have anyone else to do it for him, and shang uses that to direct bi han where he wants him to focus. shang also uses the power he has over their alliance to get bi han to prioritize protecting him versus prioritizing the strength of his clan.

if they arent going to be toxic to each other, i feel like bi han would fall HARD for shang's intelligence and cunning. shang is so smart and he uses it for his own benefit, but bi han sees the practicality of it too and it just makes him crazy-

shang tsung would fall in love with how brutal and efficient bi han is- like bi han is very one-track-minded and shang can appreciate the brutality he approaches problems with.

and the two of them together? shang's mastermind with bi han's determination and brutality? they're a pair to be reckoned with, and it's terrifying- shang builds the groundworks for something evil and bi han gives him the men and the efficiency to get it done nearly overnight-

they both adore each other for their strengths but also see how they compliment each other and it takes a while for either of them to make a move but once they do their affections and relationship becomes so casual that it almost seems like it's always been that way...

god, thinking about them too hard fr... idk how quickly i'll be able to write smth for them but i will be thinking abt them for a while now, LMAO- i am sick so it might be longer than i'm hoping for, but i do have a few ideas in mind now.. arugrughaskdjf mk men ruin me 😔

[lurkingshan]

La Pluie: A Masterclass in Conflict Writing in Romance

Here we go, my first attempt to process an absolutely magnificent episode of television. La Pluie episode 10 is a masterclass in building to a multi-faceted conflict that feels like a culmination of every character’s journey and all the little hints at potential problems along the way. It’s big, dramatic angst in which everyone is wrong and no one can communicate effectively, and it’s so spectacularly earned. As @shortpplfedup noted, this show is all about choice and this episode let them make terrible choices. In this post I’m going to break down how we got here with the four core characters, and all the seeds the show planted along the way to make it inevitable. Shouts to @wen-kexing-apologist for helping me grab screenshots and to them, @bengiyo and @neuroticbookworm for talking through a lot of this with me in my initial post episode frenzy. 

Tien

Let’s start with the most straightforward of the character arcs in this episode. Tien, our poor little bro who has just been trying to help everyone, got slapped in the face today. We’ve seen how he and Lomfon have grown steadily closer over the last several episodes. Tien has been nursing a crush, and over the course of the trip to the mountains and since they’ve been back, he clearly started to believe that Lomfon returned his feelings. They have been spending so much time together. Lomfon stuck to him like glue and took care of him through the whole crisis with Tai on the mountain. Lomfon knows how much Tien worries about Tai and wants his relationship to succeed so he can be happy. He knows from Tien what a hard time Tai has had after their parents’ divorce, and how much Tai struggling has hurt Tien as well. Tien spent the night holding his hand when he passed out on the mountain, and they’ve been together since. Lomfon talked to him about how to make decisions about his love life, asked him to stay the night with him, and held pinkies with him (the ultimate act of love in a bl) while he slept.

And then after all that, Lomfon went on a secret date and made a move on his brother. What a fucking blow. A total slap in the face. And to add insult to injury, Lomfon acted like he had no idea why Tien was so upset with him, and Tien was forced to make it crystal clear: he likes Lomfon. He thought Lomfon knew. And now Lomfon has gone behind his back to try to get with his brother. It’s humiliating, its devastating, it’s heart breaking. Poor Tien.

Lomfon

Oh, Lomfon. You just had to do everything in the most chaotic way possible, didn’t you? Let’s start with Lomfon’s claims about his hearing loss - he told Patts, then Tai, then Tien that he has hearing loss and can hear Tai when it rains, and thus Tai must be his soulmate. He told none of them that he can also hear Patts when it rains. There are two ways to read this:

It’s a classic case of confirmation bias and Lomfon is so narrowly focused on his obsession with Tai that he is disregarding any evidence that does not confirm their special connection 

Lomfon is intentionally lying to everyone to give himself an in with Tai

For now I am inclined to go with the first reading. The show didn’t give us any reason to think Lomfon was intentionally lying about hearing Patts - instead he is agitated, confused, and eager for clarity throughout the episode. 

One thing I found quite notable in this episode was the question Lomfon asked Tien. He didn’t ask (as if he was thinking about Tai’s perspective) what would you do if you had two soulmates? Instead, he asked what would you do if you had a soulmate, but already had someone else you liked? To me, that implies that Lomfon does have some awareness of his growing feelings for Tien, and is wondering how he should prioritize these things he is feeling for the brothers. And Tien, who of course doesn’t know why he’s asking, tells him he is a true believer in the soulmate bond and it would be very hard for him to ignore his soulmate in favor of someone else. 

So Lomfon decides to test out what he’s feeling for Tai, and invites him out on a date under false pretenses. He knows Tai is in a relationship. He knows it’s disrespectful to Patts. He knows Tien would be hurt by what he’s doing. But he has to know. Tai confirming that the keychain was his, and he is in fact the one who saved Lomfon from the traffic accident, scrambled Lomfon’s brains even further, and he just started driving toward his need for answers, disregarding how his actions would affect everyone else. And when it starts to rain, he seizes his moment, reveals the hearing loss connection to Tai, and then pushes it even further by going in for an uninvited kiss. I’ll give Lomfon a tiny bit of credit here, because as soon as he pulled back from the kiss he apologized. Tai was shocked and unresponsive. Lomfon should not have kissed him and he seemed to realize it. But before he had the chance to say anything further, Patts and Tien showed up and all hell broke loose.

It’s notable to me that even as Patts is wailing on him, Lomfon does not have the good sense to stop pushing. He keeps belligerently claiming that Tai is his soulmate even as Patts gets angrier and angrier and Tai yells for them to stop. He has fully dug in and he’s not backing down, and the only thing that stops him is Tai screaming to the universe and breaking their three way hearing loss connection (we will be talking more about this below).

And then we get to the heartbreak, as Tai and Patts take off to have their own fight and Tien finally gets to say his piece. And when Tien starts crying and confesses his feelings, Lomfon finally seems to snap the fuck out of it and understand how monumentally he has fucked everything up. He blew it with Tai, he ruined any respect or detente he and Patts had between them, and he has hurt Tien deeply. Throughout this whole episode Lomfon is reckless and impulsive in the extreme, and it didn’t have to be this way. There was a smarter, more respectful way to go about figuring this out, but he chose this, and now he has to deal with the damage he has caused.

Patts

Hoo, boy. As my friends can attest, I have been waiting for weeks for Patts to finally lose his patience and snap, and boy did the show deliver today. Let’s do a quick review of Patts’ arc with Tai up until now:

After they were connected via hearing loss, Patts spent two years waiting for Tai to respond to him, uncertain why his soulmate was rejecting him

In the meantime, his long-term relationship fell apart because of the existence of the connection, with Nara ending things and leaving Patts alone and lonely

When Patts finally found Tai and learned they are soulmates, he also learned that Tai is having a crisis of faith, and the connection was a barrier for them rather than a help

He began dating Tai and focused all his energy on making him feel safe and secure in the relationship, sublimating his own needs along the way

He displayed supreme patience every time Tai progressed the intimacy in their relationship only to immediately retreat (both emotionally and sexually) 

He helped Tai work through his trauma around his parents’ divorce and come to terms with his feelings about their soulmate bond, then carried him down a literal mountain

And then Patts finally got the commitment he’s been yearning for when Tai agreed to be his faen, said he wanted to be together forever, and declared himself ready to solidify their physical relationship

Note also that the show has previously seeded the idea that while Patts is generally a kind and patient person, he’s not a fucking saint. He has expressed some frustration with the barriers Tai keeps putting up between them, and we have heard from his exchanges with Nara that he has a temper that he is mostly able to keep under control, but sometimes gets away from him. We haven’t seen that yet, but everything in the story has been telling us it’s coming.

So with all that established by the show, what happens immediately after he finally got to the end of this long journey and thought he could relax and be happy in his new relationship? Lomfon claims his own special connection to Tai, Tai lies to him repeatedly, and Patts’ anger and insecurity about Tai’s refusal to accept him, which have been present but sublimated all along, come roaring to the surface.

I get Patts in this episode. When he gets that call from his friends, he doesn’t want to believe it. He calls Tai first to check in (Tai lies again). He goes to see Tai in the hopes that Tai will actually be where he said he will (he is not). He tells Tien explicitly - I wanted to believe that Tai wouldn’t lie to me. After everything they’ve been through, he thought there was finally trust and understanding between them, and now he is forced to question his standing with Tai again. As @bengiyo said, Patts deserves to be angry.

And then he arrives and sees Lomfon kissing Tai, and that’s it, that’s his breaking point. He finally snaps, and Lomfon has made himself the perfect target. Now, to be clear, physical violence as a means of confrontation is never okay. Patts should not have hit Lomfon even once, let alone over and over again. But while I don’t condone it, I absolutely understand it. He has been holding in his anger and frustration and hurt the whole time, and he has finally been pushed past his breaking point. And as I noted above, Lomfon doesn’t have the good sense to shut his mouth and back down at this point, and keeps egging him on as Patts gets more and more upset.

The next two conversations that Patts has with Tai are absolutely crucial to understanding his mind set and why he finally broke in this episode. First, he goes to Tai and asks him to explain himself. Why did you lie, why are you here with another man, why did you kiss him? And Tai? Refuses to answer (I will be delving into this extensively in the next section). He retreats from honest communication and just keeps claiming that Patts should implicitly understand him. So Patts gets more agitated. He wants to know, if after everything they’ve been through and the commitment they just made to each other, Tai is retreating again. And it’s a fair question! This has been Tai’s pattern throughout their entire relationship. Patts is asking for reassurance that Tai meant it when he said he was ready to be with him. Do you choose me? And once again, Tai refuses to answer. Patts is begging him for reassurance, and Tai won’t give it.

Patts then goes home and gets drunk, which is very stupid, and decides to go talk to Tai again, which is even stupider. He should have slept it off, gathered himself, and talked to Tai the next day, but he’s too upset, too agitated, too dejected to control his emotions. He insists on fighting it out right there, even though Tai has his walls all the way up and is still refusing to communicate. Patts has tried everything to earn Tai’s trust but he still can’t get through. He is angry and frustrated and he is letting Tai feel it. And here Patts just unleashes what is at the core of his despair: “It’s torturing me not knowing what you’re thinking… Whether you choose me or not, I can accept it, but the only thing I can’t bear is your silence.”

And hasn’t that been the problem between them from the very beginning? Tai left Patts alone in silence for so long. Patts has been giving Tai everything, while Tai continues to hold back. And Patts can’t do it anymore, so he loses his temper again and agrees they should end things. The regret is instant, but the damage is done. 

Tai

More than any of the others, this episode really peeled back the layers on Tai and showed us the dysfunction underneath the way he has been showing up in this relationship. We have been with Tai through this whole journey, so we know exactly what he’s been thinking as he dealt with his family’s split, rejected the soulmate bond, and then met and started dating Patts. More than anyone else, we’ve been in his perspective and encouraged to empathize with his struggles. So it was kind of mind-blowing, in the best possible way, that in this episode the show let him be repeatedly, loudly, egregiously wrong. 

Tai is a bit emotionally inconsistent. He is not a strong communicator. He expects people to put in the work to figure him out without being willing to do his own work to help them. He tries to avoid conflict as much as possible. When he is upset, he often shuts down and refuses to communicate what he is thinking or feeling. And he is also very inexperienced at romantic relationships. He’s never dated before Patts but he’s read a lot of romance novels, and he seems to believe in the romantic notion that his partner will be able to just implicitly understand him without any need to explain himself. All of this showed up today in the way he dealt with this Lomfon situation, and the subsequent conversations with Patts.

Let’s just say this plainly: Tai was wrong to lie to Patts throughout this episode. He was wrong to secretly spend time with Lomfon in order to test Lomfon’s feelings. He was wrong to refuse to explain himself when he was caught in the lies. He was wrong to insist Patts should understand and trust him on faith alone. And he was wrong to refuse to give Patts any assurance about his commitment after everything he pulled in this episode.

I understand what Tai was trying to do. He wanted to avoid any unnecessary drama, and he is still trying to tell himself Lomfon doesn’t really like him. He thinks he can test this out for himself and clear it up if Lomfon tries anything. Everything can stay friendly and Patts never needs to know. You can see him hesitate and question himself both times he lies to Patts (in the car, and then over the phone), but stubbornly press on anyway. And you can see him watching Lomfon closely throughout their day together and getting increasingly uncomfortable as he starts to realize Bow is right, and Lomfon clearly has feelings for him. 

Unfortunately, as we’ve already established, Tai is conflict avoidant. His estimation of his own ability to draw firm lines is a bit off, and he tries to flee Lomfon without clearing anything up. But they get caught in the rain, Lomfon stuns him with a reveal he was not expecting, and he absolutely freezes and just stands there while Lomfon kisses him. He is then stunned again when Patts shows up and things get violent, and he finally loses it completely and shouts to the universe that he is sick of this destiny shit and doesn’t want it anymore. And the universe responds. The hearing loss connection breaks and they can all hear normally again - but ironically, Tai no longer wants to listen.

When Patts demands answers, Tai really shuts down. As @ginnymoonbeam notes, they have diametrically opposed conflict styles. Patts is asking him entirely reasonable questions, but he is uncomfortable and anxious at being confronted so directly and he chooses to say nothing, and then goes even further by getting angry with Patts for asking him to talk. You already know that I love you, can’t you just believe that and accept whatever I do? And of course, that is a completely immature and unreasonable expectation. In relationships you have to use your words. Tai is the one who lied and broke the trust between them. He owes Patts an explanation, and he should be willing to give him reassurance that he’s not going back on his commitment to him. But he feels attacked so he refuses to give Patts what he needs, and walks away.

And in their final conversation, it’s Tai who first says they should break up. He is so uncomfortable with Patts’ desire for direct and clear communication that he would rather threaten to end their relationship than just say what Patts needs. And it’s clear that he is once again expecting Patts to be the one to do the work, make a compromise, and accept Tai’s limitations. But Patts is no longer willing to do it, and when he calls Tai’s bluff, Tai is stunned and devastated. Patts has finally stopped catering to him, and he has no idea how to walk back his words. So once again, he retreats, pushes Patts out of the room, and breaks down.

This is such excellent conflict writing. All of the interactions between them, the way they’re both behaving in these scenes, the mistakes they’re making - it’s all supported by the text and can be traced back to their established characteristics and patterns. We can see clearly how we got here, and we can also see a path forward.

Next week, we are getting back to Tai’s parents, and Tai will finally get the information he needs to reconcile his feelings about their split and recognize how it has informed his behavior. Tai and Patts will have some time to reflect on where they went wrong. And they no longer have a hearing loss connection. The soulmate myth is done and over. If they decide to be together, it will be because they truly choose it. 

[angelosearch]

here is a weird little ramble about how weird and obsessive I am about this damn videogame.

You know that quote from Laguna at the beginning of disk 2 where he is like, "Oh, please let it be this room when I wake up! Please let me be in this puny bed when I wake up!"*?

I get that feeling sometimes. When you finally feel safe and happy and loved, it's hard to believe it will stay. Sometimes it's hard to believe I even deserve for it to stay. So I start and end each day with the fear of it all disappearing, and it's hard to hang on to gratefulness when you're doing that.

Right now I have so much joy and fun and creativity in my life. I spent so many years in a deep depression that I forgot I could be excited like this. I didn't know I could still feel so strongly about things. And while I spent a lot of 2023 seeing all of my mental health treatments/work paying off, I didn't feel truly whole until I rediscovered Final Fantasy VIII in July.

And my "puny bed" is just that - being engaged with Final Fantasy VIII. I get scared that one day I will be uninterested. But I never want to be unobsessed again.

I have loved Final Fantasy VIII at least since I was about 11, but I think I loved it since the first time I watched my brothers play the demo. It has been an important part of my life - playing the game influenced all my interests going forward; making fanfiction taught me how to write; going on forums to discuss the game helped me learn how to socialize online; and honestly I could go on.

But I've gone through cycles. I was very obsessed from 11 to 13, then someone made me a cake with the Griever necklace on it for my 16th birthday (WHICH WAS SO COOL) and all I could feel was embarrassment. My interest had gone completely dormant. It reemerged at 19 with the help of my Final Fantasy XIII roommate in college and went on long enough for us to go to see a Distant Worlds concert together, but faded again when she left for Amsterdam.

The first five years of my young professional life I am not sure I had any interests at all, being so busy and detached from myself, so Final Fantasy VIII was nowhere in my vocabularly. Which meant my wedding had not a drop of FFVIII in it. Even though my husband suggested it. Even though we learned how to dance for it, and could have done the waltz for the moon.

Strangely enough, about two days before the remaster dropped, I was inspired to look up FFVIII for some unknown reason. It was as if I felt the new opportunity to play in the force and when I found out a remaster was coming out, I absolutely had to play it.

And I did. And I enjoyed it. But that was when I started to fall down a dark spiral. The love was very quickly strangled.

When I was at my very worst, I kid you not, I could not even bring myself to think of FFVIII. I very clearly remember one December night in 2020 I spent manic in a psych ward, scared and uncomfortable and unable to fall asleep. I tried to focus on fanfiction ideas so I could maybe be relaxed enough to doze, instead of spending hours in the darkness wondering if my meds would ever work, if my heart was going to explode, if I would ever be "normal" again, while people opened my door at random intervals to shine a flashlight on my face. I tried to conjure Squall's face, or quotes from the game, and it all collapsed into nothingness.

And that was how it was. From then until mid-2023, FFVIII was shut away from me by the tomb of my own illness.

Then, I think it was March or April, my therapist and I were talking about ways to tackle my insomnia that didn't involve additional medication. It came up that I used to make "fake bedtime scenarios" about characters in this videogame I liked and that would not only help me fall asleep, but make me excited to go to bed.

"Why don't you play the game again?" She asked. I know I said "I can't" but I don't remember why. But it was enough to plant a seed (SeeD?).

As the spring continued, I started listening to the music from Final Fantasy VIII. Then I started going on the Reddit. I found this "State of the Arc" podcast that reviewed FFVIII. I listened to it on a roadtrip and, while I enjoyed it, I also found myself yelling at the dashboard because I disagreed with the hosts about something.

When I reached my destination, I found I could not fall asleep. I turned over a lot of things in my brain. I thought about Squall being a high-functioning depressed person with a lot of repressed feelings, like I once was. And how as your brain develops and you have issues like that, especially with CPTSD, it sometimes doesn't matter if your life is good now - the pain demands to be felt and the body remembers what you thought you forgot. And then I wondered, what if he was happy and with Rinoa after FFVIII but had a massive mental breakdown in his late 20s? And so, for the first time in three years, I could think about Final Fantasy VIII to fall asleep again.

After that, I was hooked again, and in a big way. I played the game again and found Reddit wasn't enough anymore. I may be even more obsessed with the game now than I ever was. So I joined Tumblr, and I guess you guys know the rest.

Since bringing this amazing videogame back into my life, I've been happier, more easy-going, and just... able to sit with myself. It makes me want to write, and draw, and sing, and play card games. I find that when my anxiety gets the best of me, I can shift to thinking about Final Fantasy VIII as a way of thought-stopping. And then I've met some amazing people on here that are so interesting and talented and supportive. I literally look forward to coming on Tumblr.

Today I was out and about a lot because I am with my in-laws and I am sort of on vacation. Because of that, I wasn't on Tumblr all day, and, more significantly, I didn't think/talk about Final Fantasy VIII. I mean, it wasn't completely absent from my day as I wore my "Compression of Time" tanktop and Squaket... but irrationally I feared I was somehow "not doing enough FFVIII" today.

And that is silly, of course. And I think in the big picture I am most afraid of being that disconnected and lost again. I could probably find joy in another fandom... maybe.

I just want to keep waking up here, in this cozy place that makes me feel connected and at home.

*btw in google this quote I found out Laguna is a brand of bed frame???

[bullet-prooflove]

Under Pressue: Cyrus Lupo x Reader

Tagging: @darqchilddaydreamz @words-and-seeds @infinity-mars @tkappi @greenies-green @trublu2u @kmc1989

Cyrus prides himself on keeping his calm under pressure. It’s what got him through some dicey situations during his time abroad in the Intelligence Unit, chasing down terrorists. He had no weapon, no partner, no back up, he’d had to rely on his wits and clear head to ensure he made it home alive.

“I was self-destructive,” he had told you when you were discussing it over dinner last week. “I was trying to find redemption by putting myself in the most dangerous situations I could just to see if I survived, it became a game…”

It’s the most honest he’s been about his time away. The two of you have only been seeing each other for a couple of weeks this time around but already it feels like a lifetime. He wonders if it’s fate, the two of you always ending up in each other’s spheres. It’s happened a couple of times over the years, the first time you got together, and then running into each other the night before he left for Morocco. This time you had been working his brother’s case when he got boots on the ground and now the two of you work together in the same division, usually with different partners.

The trip up to Dargerville is the exception, Benard had been injured when a perp had gotten a little unruly in holding and Lenny was vacationing up in Florida with a couple of old fishing buddies. You’d been assigned to make drive instead, which Cyrus doesn’t mind. You used to take roadtrips the first time you were together, staying at B&Bs around the country, he’d enjoyed it immensely. You bring the snacks and he brings the music, that was always the deal.

The thing is Cyrus loves small towns, he always has. He loves the vibe and the quaintness, he spends two hours in the local dinner eating chilli and tasting a variation of the pies they have on offer.

“You miss a homecooked meal.” You inform him as the two of you share a slice or key lime.

You aren’t wrong, his shifts have been chaotic over the past few weeks. He’s been living off takeaways and the hotdog stand outside the precinct.

“Let me cook for you when we get back.” You say and his gaze flickers up to meet yours, his cheeks colour just a little because he knows where the offer usually leads.

A good meal, a couple of glasses of wine, hours tangled up in your sheets making love to you until the sun comes up.

“Yea?” He asks, his eyebrows raising as he shoots you that sinful smile. You throw your napkin at him in response.

Despite the fact the NYPD has booked you two separate rooms in the local motel, you know you won’t be sleeping alone tonight.

It’s when a Dargerville sheriff tries to put his hands on you that everything goes to hell. The moment you pick up Linz with the material witness warrant it all goes sideways. When the local sheriffs blockade the car you’re out of the passenger seat before Cyrus can stop you. He’d been getting a bad feeling about this case since the moment you started to meet resistance at the stationhouse. There’s something going on here that the local PD don’t want you know.

You’re polite and calm, but there’s a steeliness in your voice, one that clearly rubs Burkheart up the wrong way. He’s not used to be spoken to like that by a woman, Cyrus can tell from the rage that burns in his eyes when you get between him and your prisoner. He bolts out of the driver’s seat because he gets that feeling, the one he used to get abroad when shit was about to go down.

When Burkhart he issues the order to remove you, it’s with extreme prejudice. It’s a show of authority, one meant to put you back in your place but the thing about you…

You don’t respond well to someone laying hands on you and apparently neither does he. When the deputy grabs you with force that’s completely unwarranted, something just shorts out in his brain. He gets between the two of you, his palm on the other man’s chest shoving him backwards as he comes to stand in front of you.

When the guns come out, he doesn’t expect it and he can tell you don’t either. Whatever is happening in this town, it goes far beyond the death of William Simmons. There isn’t a doubt in his mind about what happens if he doesn’t comply to their demands.

It ends up with him being arrested for interfering with a police officer. When you start to protest, he catches your eye before shaking his head. He can taste the violence in the air, he can tell from the way that Burkhart looks at you that he’s waiting for just the right opportunity to throttle you.

You’re already on the phone to Van Buren as he’s put into the back of a squad car.

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[peony-pearl]

(this was part of a discussion from another post that I wanted to move to it’s own post bc this right here is the crux of my emotions for Iroh and Zuko and Azula; it does end kind of abruptly but yeah this is me wordvomiting my feels)

--------

Man the Iroh and Azula relationship in atla breaks my heart because, yes, there is favoritism - but the situations that built up to it are so specific and tragic on both ends (this is more of me rambling bc I have brainworms for this fam oughghghg if you read this thank you)

I do believe that Iroh did what he could to maintain a good relationship with both Zuko and Azula before he left for BSS. Zuko was 8, Azula was 6. That’s YOUNG. I almost wonder if she could remember what he looked like, because after Lu Ten’s death, I think he immediately took that journey before returning to the Fire Nation, thus there could have been another year or two+ until she saw him. She potentially went from ages 6-10 years old without seeing her uncle. Not to mention that even before Ursa left, Azula was already parroting Ozai’s rhetoric. Now with her mother gone, Azula had her father’s full attention and her friends (until the three were separated).

Zuko on the other hand, after his mother’s disappearance, didn’t have any friends from what we saw, nor did he have his father’s approval, and his relationship with Azula? We’re unsure of at this time, but all things considered, he’s had a resentment towards her because of the trauma Ozai is putting him through (which is also trauma to Azula by emotionally excluding her and putting her on a pedestal that he himself will topple). When Iroh returns, Zuko, who is most likely lonely AF, gives his uncle some attention, who then in turn, gives Zuko attention he’s wanted from one of his elders for a long time.

Azula, entrenched in Ozai’s teachings, resents Iroh for abandoning Ba Sing Se, and sees how he overindulges with tea and food to cope with the pain. She won’t be like him; and to even be seen near him by her father is embarrassing. But I’m almost certain she would see the relationship Zuko and Iroh were forging and it HURT. Iroh probably doesn’t force her to talk; that’s not the conversation he wants to have is to force her to spend time with someone she doesn’t want to be around. Besides, to anger Azula could lead to angering his brother, and he’s not at all ready for that mess. He of all people knows the almighty power of the Fire Lord; he was prepared to carry that glorious burden his whole life until it slipped from his fingers.

Ultimately Iroh is fine talking to just Zuko; but no one sees the seeds that are being planted. Iroh doesn’t realize how he’s still playing the game his father embedded in their minds. Iroh leaves Azula to her devices, unaware of how she is living the life that created and destroyed Iroh himself, while he can put his misplaced fatherhood upon Zuko. At this point, Zuko still just sees him as uncle.

And then the Agni Kai. Zuko is burned, and Iroh goes with him. I’m not entirely versed in the manga about Azula getting Zuko his ship, but I think it says a lot that Azula, even when upset that Zuko and Iroh had a relationship, made sure Iroh was part of the team because she knew Iroh could ensure Zuko’s survival. Plus it got him out of the palace so she wouldn’t have to keep seeing him or hearing his dumb laugh, or be invited to Pai Sho games (Which she did want to play but Uncle is SO ugh you know?)

And then three years pass. 3 long years in which Iroh and Zuko may not expect to go home. Iroh probably comes to terms with this; he’s older, jaded, still messed up from losing his son and everything that came with it. Zuko, however, wants his birthright (aka his father’s approval and love). Zuko and Iroh are waging this part of their lives together while Azula and Ozai are holding down the fort; she is becoming stronger and smarter, and has every ounce of her father’s approval.

I have a couple of headcanons as to why Iroh’s demeanor had a bit of a big change once we get to season 2. Nearly losing Zuko to the pirates made him realize how much he saw the boy as his surrogate son. So yes, the favoritism is there; they have endured things together for 3 years that have forged a bond that gives Zuko a father figure (that he didn’t really ask for) and Iroh a surrogate son (that he is more than willing to guide and smother) and this topic alone is enough to make me want to scream and wail because Iroh wanting nothing more than a second chance than to guide a son who wants his actual father who cares nothing for him and yet Iroh CONTINUES to try with Zuko? brain goes BRRRR

(but I also heavily headcanon Iroh’s presence during Yue’s sacrifice to have been a game changer in the way he carries himself and continues to live; but that’s just a headcanon; but the way that he watches a princess from a nation he has waged war upon sacrifice her life for a world she’s never seen when he’s lost his son and he almost lost Zuko and watching her fade away gives him stronger convictions to be a true father figure to Zuko; even if he’s still kind of bad at it for a while, his dedication to Zuko as a son really takes flight in the following season and I think this all ties together)

and then when Azula comes to collect them to take to Ozai and lies to Zuko about the thing he’s been wanting for 3 years. The thing that’s kept him up, ate away at him, the thing that SHOULD be natural - his father’s love. It’s a lie.

And Iroh defends his nephew unflinchingly from his sister - who is also just a pawn and a soldier, just like Iroh was. I personally like to imagine he taught her some of her skillset (but would she have retained it since she was last willing to learn from him around the age of 6? She is very smart after all).

But could Iroh have looked at Azula, realizing it was her that shot that lightning and, after Zuko called him a ‘shallow old man’, gone to Azula and asked what Ozai had put her through over the years? Or did he still revere the power of the Fire Lord, and the magnitude of power Azula holds.

This leads to one big problem with the family - communication. Especially for Iroh. Communication SUCKS in this family. Zuko is so volatile that Iroh often cannot bring himself to really explain things to Zuko in a clear way, which doesn’t help because Zuko NEEDS to be spoken to clearly because he does not get metaphors and proverbs - but is Iroh really even the best person to explain to Zuko that his father is hurting both him and his sister? When Zuko wants so desperately to go home and be loved? And yet hearing that his sister is suffering would enrage him when she’s only been adored by Ozai. And even then, if Iroh acknowledges Azula’s suffering, he doesn’t act to help her. Could he though? He doesn’t give up on Zuko (who struggled for validation) but he never attempts with Azula (who had the Fire Lord’s entire approval).

For Season 2, everything about Zuko and Iroh is the path to stay alive and stay free… which they’re not free. They never will be again because the Fire Nation wants them and in order to stay safe they must seek refuge indefinitely in BSS. Thus, they must avoid Azula, who is willing to enact on her father’s orders (he IS the Fire Lord, after all). Azula has also shot Iroh with fire. Yes, Iroh is much older and Azula is 14; but I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a point that Iroh looks at her and sees her traveling with her friends, facing the Avatar, besting Iroh himself in a situation and as he wakes up from his injuries after she attacks him, he goes ‘I’m done.’ He would continue to put all of his efforts on Zuko. There is a very potential life or death situation with them being wanted, and Iroh won’t relive losing a child under his care.

And yet he would know where Azula’s life is eventually going to lead her, because he was once her. But he left the Fire Nation to escort Zuko and to keep him safe. Zuko did everything he could to try and finish his father’s task, and now his efforts have only landed him a wanted poster. Azula has the Fire Lord’s blessing and her crown - Zuko and Iroh are all each other have, and they also have the bounty on their heads. The efforts Azula put through to ensure that Iroh kept Zuko safe have now reversed, and they are actively evading her as enemies. The painful irony.

Had Ozai never sent her out to collect them, I absolutely think Iroh would still remain open to his niece. Unfortunately, Ozai continues to task her with ways to divide her from her family and therefore keep her closer to his will. By entrusting her with their capture, he alienates her from her shamed brother and uncle, and then gives them reason to have grief with her and not want to be in her life as she actively and willingly serves her father, not once hearing them out on their side of the story. They are rushing to find a way to stay out of chains and survive while she flawlessly continues her family’s goals.

What if she was never tasked with capturing them? But was still traveling the Earth Kingdom to broaden the Fire Nation’s reign? What if there had been a point when she wasn’t poised to capture them or attack them? I can still see Zuko naturally being bitter that she’s there. Iroh may still even be wary, as having her around after they have not achieved a goal means failure and capture (which is what I reason their reactions to her showing up in The Avatar State to be; they immediately know something is off because without a letter, without warning, Azula shows up in full armor after they have not achieved their goal of capturing the Avatar; and Iroh heard lightning earlier, and if it wasn’t Ozai and he deduces it was Azula? Oh lord she knows how to conjure lightning now which means they’re in deep sludge); but imagine if she’s just there to start her overseas military career, not to capture them. What if she knew they were wanted? What if they saw her, knowing they’re wanted, and they avoid her until they come face to face with her and she’s even more hurt that they immediately believed she would be cold enough to turn them in? They really thought that low of her? lol okay HEY GUARDS. Or what if she was like ‘Zuzu I made sure you had that ship and crew, you really think I’d turn you in?’ Or the opposite? In which Zuko sees Azula and knows they can trust her, but the more they get help from her the more she worries that Ozai is going to learn that she’s been secretly helping them through their escapades as wanted men? What if it had been Azula that got them their passports to BSS and was like ‘go here and stay out of my hair I am BUSY and I can’t keep risking my neck for you like this’.

[heliads]

So, Before You Go Chapter Six: One More Body to Burn

Hellas is gone; so too is your life as a cartographer. You and the Darkling must quell Alina Starkov’s attempt at an uprising in order to protect the Grisha of Ravka. However, your gods are not as dead as they seem, and that which you have taken for granted will soon prove to be quite unpredictable indeed.

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Many centuries ago, a hero and prince named Theseus defeated a monster named the Minotaur and fought his way out of a massive labyrinth with the help of his lover, Ariadne. Although he swore to his father that he would put up white sails on ship during his return voyage to signify that he had survived the encounter, the task slipped his mind and his ship bore back black sails. Distraught, the king threw himself off a cliff, not knowing his son was alive. Sometimes, we can kill our own forefathers not through direct action, but by forgetting what we owe them.

Aleksander is waiting, you know. He is waiting for you to make a choice. You’re waiting too, actually. There is no telling where you go from here. A thousand crossroads stretch in every direction, all promising you outcomes that could be yours if you would just so much as make up your mind about where to go. The first step is always the hardest. After that, you’re too caught up in your own string of Fate to have any sort of control. Every move from there on out is a cascade of inevitabilities.

So you must make up your mind, then, and do it fast. Time is steadily running away from you on cloud-light footsteps, and before you know it, Aleksander is talking about launching another strike on Alina’s forces. You slaughtered a good number of them back at the Spinning Wheel, which makes her weak. If you manage to pin her down before she can rally more support, you’ll be able to end this once and for all.

The one thing you need before you can strike again, though, is information. Alina is remarkably good at hiding, perhaps due to the fact that your greatest informant, the elder Lantsov brother, Vasily, is an armless corpse somewhere in the Spinning Wheel. She’s up to something, anyone can tell that, but you don’t plan on walking into a trap if you can avoid it.

That means that Aleksander will need to visit her in another vision, just to be sure. You accepted this when he brought it up, even asserted that this was the best possible option. Do you believe it? Unclear. Still, it was an olive branch extended, and he took it as you knew he would. 

You weren’t lying, though. You need to know where Alina is, and there’s no better way than to literally appear in her head. Aleksander departs to his study, and you can tell by the sudden magic into the room that he’s there again, back with her. Funny how they always seem to end up together.

A desperate need to escape floods your veins, and you turn and exit the building. Aleksander will find you when he has what he needs, there’s no need for you to wait for his every move or word. The air is crisp on your face, the cool air bringing some sort of sense to your mind. It is exhausting, this hiding and guessing. You want nothing more than for this war to be over, for your reign to begin. Once you can reassert the power of Grisha, when no one has to die and no one has to run, it will all be better. Of that you are certain.

Until then, though– until then, you are sure that you shall be driven mad by the utter force of it all. You fought Aleksander under a false banner until you realized the truth of him, but now that you have him back again, it feels like all you can do is try to find reasons to run again. 

It reminds you of a story your mother told you of the god of the Underworld and his queen. Hades kidnapped Persephone from her home above the ground to his world of death beneath the surface. Under his watchful eye, she ate six pomegranate seeds, and so she was condemned to stay with him for half the year, and spend the remaining six months in the land above so that the world could carry on and stay alive.

You had always wondered why Persephone would allow herself to be taken from her husband for that long, but it almost makes sense to you now. Without the separation, without the urge to fight to be with him again, he becomes the villain, and you the enemy he must fight alongside the rest. 

You love him, truly you do, but this constant battle to stay under the radar is gnawing at you. If it were just the two of you working in the public view to keep Grisha safe and maintain the Little Palace, you know it would be better. Alina is getting in your head, though, just as she’s getting in his.

Far enough away from your hideaway that none of your Grisha nor Aleksander can hear you, you give in to the tumultuous emotions twisting through your head and let out a bloodcurdling scream. The sound rips through the air, carrying with it all of your pain, your anger, your helplessness.

This is what love is in the end, you decide. It cuts you worse than a blade, it saves you like a miracle. Aleksander would save your life a thousand times, and in return, you would join his cause, rescue his people because you have none more of your own and his family is as good as yours. He would manipulate you just like the rest to count your power as his, and you would second-guess his every intention after so many centuries of never knowing quite what page he’s on.

He is yours, though, and you are his. At the end of the day, there is nothing more to it. You gather your self-control back around your shoulders like a cloak and begin the walk back to the hideaway. This is the fate you were destined to follow, the same path you will run until the end of time. You will leave and come back, separate yourself only to return again and again. It is a terrible cycle, and it is your cycle, and you will gladly complete it for all eternity. Perhaps you shall, if this endeavor to restore Grisha to the power they deserve is successful.

You slip back inside, and it’s like you never left. Aleksander is still locked in his vision, but on second thought, perhaps something has changed after all. The air is sharper than it was before. Maybe Alina is fighting back, or something else, because the magic surrounding him seems to have doubled. You can feel it pressing against your skin the closer you walk to him, invisible hands tearing at your clothes, your eyes, your spirit. Something is here, with him. Something that wants to reach over to his side instead of just Aleksander being the one to travel to Alina.

It makes you shiver. You close the door of his study firmly behind you; this is not a time in which you want the other Grisha overlooking whatever is going on here, and study him more closely. Aleksander’s brow is furrowed, and he seems gripped in the throes of some sort of battle. This should not be happening at all. A shudder runs over the back of your spine as you take an involuntary step away from him. This is not what either of you planned, you can tell that much. Magic splits the air, and then his eyes flash open and you were right, it is worse than before.

For when he comes back– when he comes back, he is wrong. You can tell that instantly. The air crackles with some sort of emotion that hadn’t been there before, a sharp knife of agony. The scent of blood chases this realization seconds later, but it isn’t until the light shifts and you see the body in Aleksander’s arms that you truly know what is going on.

Your breath catches in your throat. This is not Alina’s silhouette, this is not a coup already won before the battle even began. No, you recognize that silver hair, the harsh countenance even when wracked with pain. This is Baghra, and Aleksander has killed her.

It was not on purpose, you think. Already, he is reciting panicked mantras about how he didn’t want this, he didn’t mean to do this. Baghra cuts him off, says what’s done is done, and then she is gone, disappearing in a moment. Aleksander is left clutching at empty air, tears coursing down his face. 

Slowly, surely, he looks up at you. “Fix this,” he says unsteadily, “Bring her back. You know the guardians of the Underworld. Stop them from letting her cross.”

You shake your head once. “She will not go to my Underworld, Aleksander. You know that. Baghra was Grisha, and she must return to the making at the heart of the world. She is beyond our reach now.”

Saying the words is awful. Baghra knew you almost as long as Aleksander, and certainly far longer than anyone else. A thousand memories flash through your head, a journey of every moment, every interaction, you’ve ever had with the woman. How she’d greeted you when Aleksander first brought you back to his camp, back before you knew he had created the Shadow Fold, back when you had just known him for an hour or two but already decided to trust him with your life because he’d trusted you with his.

She’d regarded you suspiciously at first, hesitant of outsiders who could betray her in a heartbeat, but once you proved yourself ready to lay your life on the line for the Grisha, she welcomed you as warmly as her permanent glower would allow her. You remember training sessions, years that went by, how she never said directly that she approved of your relationship with her son but how she would show it anyway. When you faked your death the first time to escape Aleksander, you regretted not being able to tell her the truth. You never knew how she responded, but you guessed enough at her grief the next time you saw her.

Yes, then, at the Little Palace under the guise of an oprichniki. Baghra is not particularly given to wild bouts of emotion, but you can still picture the satisfied smile on her face when you’d revealed yourself to her as Hecari. The centuries are impossible to bear without someone you trust, and she had trusted you. She had been willing to hide you from Aleksander for as long as it took, because at the end of the day, you were already halfway to being a daughter to her anyway.

You had wondered if you would regret letting Baghra escape with Genya, if that would spell the end of your conquest to destroy Alina. Right now, though, you would not change a thing. There had been a moment when you had directed Genya to run, when you had looked at her on the outskirts of the forest and seen Baghra’s expression shift to something almost like pride. She was proud of you, you think. Proud that you were not wholly a monster. Proud that although you fought for Grisha in a different way than her, you were still willing to protect her just as she protected you.

Aleksander doesn’t seem to grasp the fact that this is over, that all that exists of Baghra now are memories and nothing more. “This cannot happen. I need her back.”

Something about seeing him there on the floor, nursing a bloodied stump instead of a hand (wonder when that happened) makes something in you snap. “Then you shouldn’t have killed her.”

Aleksander flinches as if you have struck him. “I did not mean for this to happen,” he repeats.

Your voice is cold and high. “But it did. Can’t you see that? This is because of you. By the Gods, I cannot believe you. Do you think I do not know what it is like to lose a parent, your last surviving family? I mourn Hecate every single hour of every single day. That is not a grief you forget. I saw her murdered, that is the difference between you and I. You killed her. You did this, not Alina. You.”

Every single one of your words seems to burn like a brand. “She was fighting me,” he protests, “she severed my hand, for the Saints’ sake. Do you think I attacked her out of nowhere? She–”

You cut him off. “What, she started it? You could have ended it differently. You have all of this power, all of this pride, and you cannot stop a fight without death? Don’t be ridiculous. You know what role you had to play. She was your mother. Do not cry. You do not deserve the right to grieve. Stand up and face what you have done.”

Contrary to what you’ve told him, you are weeping by the end. Baghra was his mother, yes, but you knew her for so long that, for a few years there, she was almost yours. It is a rash and terrible claim, but you cannot help but make it.

Aleksander rises to his feet, and his face is such a storm of ruin that for one terrible moment you have absolutely no idea what he will do next. Then he takes one deep inhale and exhales, and when he looks at you again, he is calm. 

“I know the identity of the third amplifier.”

It’s a wonderful bone to throw, and both of you know it. You are not so heartless that you would not recognize this peace offering for what he is. At the moment, he is a boy wracked by the most unutterable grief he has ever felt, and despite his hand in all of this, you will not repeat the argument. You’ve already said what you needed. He will deal with it accordingly.

“Where is it? Within easy travel, or on the other side of the Fold?”

He shakes his head. “It’s not a thing or an animal, it’s a person. The tracker.”

You feel as if you’ve been shot straight through the heart. “What?”

Aleksander repeats himself, but that doesn’t make the news any easier to understand. “Alina’s tracker. The Morozova bloodline runs through him. Ilya Morozova made the third and final amplifier in the blood of his other daughter.”

This news is so absurd that you would almost want to laugh were it not for the complete focus on Aleksander’s face. This is what he learned, then, what Baghra would have fought him over. This is the fate of the war.

“Mal is the firebird?”

“Yes.”

A beat. “She will have to kill him, then.”

A wave of grief and pity hits you, even more so than before. Sorrow for the woman Baghra was to Alina; one less source of support and help in this crisis. Regret that the girl who never wanted this sort of life, only to exist alongside her tracker in a quiet aftermath, will have to murder him to achieve any sort of victory over the Shadow Fold. How horrendous, that when she finally learns enough to win, the answer is her worst fear?

Aleksander is staring at you, waiting for you to say anything more. At last, you tilt your head and speak again. “We will have to end her quickly. Before she can make any mistakes.”

It would be a mercy, you think. Stopping Alina once and for all will mean that she will not have to ever stomach the thought of killing Mal again. You don’t know that she would see it that way, but surely she has at least guessed at it.

When you dare look at him again, Aleksander is transfixed, his expression running clean with relief. He was afraid that you would doubt him again, you think, but your restatement of your commitment to his cause has changed his mind.

“Yes,” he whispers, “we shall.”

He extends an arm to you and you take it, folding into his embrace. You can still feel the grief pouring from him like shadow, but underneath it all, the cold steel of resolve hardens itself around his heart. The only way for all of this to be over is to end it, and end it you shall. Alina Starkov will die. The last remaining question is how much time she has before you come to collect her corpse.

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[sequinsmile-x]

All's Fair - Chapter 1

Emily and Aaron have loved each other since they were children. War might be the thing that finally brings them together, but it could also be the thing that tears them apart forever.

A Hotchniss AU, set in 1917 and beyond.

-x-

This is something I've been working on for a little while, and is very much inspired by a recent re-watch of Downton Abbey.

This also is my 150th fic on Ao3. Which...is absurd and amazing and just about everything in between. Thank you all so much for all the endless support <3

-x-

Words: 2.6k

Full list of warnings and tags can be found on the Series Master List

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

April 1917 

Emily had always loved the spring. 

The sun was warm when it hit her face, and the days were longer. Leaving her more hours to spend wandering her mother’s estate. Just her and a book as she escaped the expectations she would never live up to. She’d walk as far as she could away from the house and find a spot to waste the day away, hoping that somehow, in some way, her life would turn into more than this. 

She sits in amongst the grass, one hand holding up her poetry book and the other running through the daises she had chosen to sit by. They were her favourite flower, something beautiful in their simplicity, of how they grew wherever they could.

“You know they’re weeds, right?” 

Emily rolls her eyes playfully as she closes her book and puts it down next to her, looking up at the man who had disturbed her peace, the only person she’d ever allow to do so. 

“You tell me every spring,” she replies, putting her hand over the top of her eyes to block out the sun so she can look up at him, a smirk on her face, “Shouldn’t you be working, Aaron?” 

He shakes his head at her, his hands on his hips as he looks down with a smile she liked to think was just for her. 

“I would be if my boss's daughter wasn’t right in the way of where I’m supposed to be working.” 

She looks behind him to see the lawn mower, and scrunches up her nose, “That sounds very boring,” she says, patting the grass next to her, “Come sit with me.”

“Em,” he sighs, “You know I’d love to but-”

“Please,” she says, smiling tightly at him, and turning serious, “I could do with a friend today.” 

They’d grown up together. He was only three years older than her, the son of her mother’s old caretaker. When they were kids, the difference between their lives, between what was expected of them both didn’t matter to anyone. The fact she was the only heir of the estate and he was the son of the live-in caretaker didn’t matter. It still didn’t matter to her and Aaron, and Emily knew he was one of her only friends. He was the only one she completely trusted to have her best interests at heart. Everyone else she knew through her mother, and there was always a seed of doubt about their intentions. 

After Aaron’s father died, he was the obvious option for the job - he’d watched him do it his whole life, much more hands-on with the work than his brother Sean ever had been. It was then, Emily just shy of her 20th birthday, that her mother suddenly deemed her friendship with Aaron inappropriate, and tried to stop them from spending any time together. 

It was one of the reasons she’d walk the grounds for hours, keeping him company whilst he worked, wanting nothing more than to spend time with him. 

She knew she loved him, and that he loved her back, but they could never acknowledge it. Trapped in the lives they’d been forced into by chance and happenstance. 

Aaron sits down next to her, never one to be able to say no to her, and picks up the book she’d discarded on the grass. He smiles as he reads the title from the front page.

“Mountain Interval by Robert Frost?” He asks, his eyebrow raised at her as she rolls her eyes, reaching for the book he purposely holds out of her reach, “You and your poetry.” 

“It’s one of the few things I can enjoy around here that Mother approves of,” Emily says, sighing as he opens the book in front of her, giving up on trying to get it back, “Plus, she can’t read French as well as I can, so I can buy all the racy ones and she won’t know.” 

Aaron chuckles at her, “Robert Frost though? A bit more…simple than what you usually go for.” 

She smiles as she flops back onto the grass, looking up at the sky. “That’s why I like it,” she explains, turning her head to look at him, “Just because it’s simple doesn’t make it any less beautiful.” 

He returns her smile before looking back at the book, reading the first page to himself as they fall into companionable silence before he reads the last few lines out loud.

“Two roads diverged in a wood, 

And I− I took the one less travelled by, 

And that has made all the difference”

Emily ignores the flutter in her belly as she so often did when he was around, the pull towards him that she felt all the time. So much between them went unspoken, and she knew it always would. That nothing could happen between them, that a fantasy life where she got to be happy with him would always be the road that they could never travel. 

“Well,” she says, swallowing down the lump that had formed in her throat as she covers it with a smile, “If you get bored with being the caretaker of the estate, you could have a career in professional poetry reading.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he deadpans, finally closing her book and handing it back to her. 

“Actually,” she says, sitting back up, “I refuse to let you do that. What would I ever do if you weren’t here.” 

His smile falters for a second, guilt he knew he deserved to feel like a vice around his heart. He thinks of the letter he’s already written her, one he’ll leave for her to find after he’s gone. He knew she was the only person who would be able to talk him out of it, his love for her his Achilles heel, so he’d kept it from her. Asked her mother to do the same when he handed in his notice just a week ago. 

He brushes past it, “Why do you need a friend today?” He asks, and her initial response is a sad smile. 

“I’ll give you one guess,” she replies humourlessly, looking back down at the daises on the ground, playing with the soft petals of one between her fingers. 

“Your mother?” He asks, and she chuckles.

“Isn’t it always her,” she sighs sadly, shaking her head, her body still thrumming with anger over the news her mother had so casually delivered her over breakfast, “She…” she clears her throat, looking up at him as she continues to gauge his reaction, “She told me this morning that one of the Doyles, Ian, asked for my hand in marriage,” she swallows thickly, “And she accepted the offer.” 

Aaron feels like his world had come to a stop, his heart seizing in his chest at the mere thought of her married to someone else. 

“She…she did what?” He chokes out, his hand balling into a fist. He thinks of the letter he’s already written for Emily, of the look of relief on her mother’s face when he handed in his notice that suddenly made more sense. 

“I’ve only met the guy once,” she exclaims, pulling her legs up to her chest, her skirts pooling around her as she wraps her arms around her knees, “He spent the whole night staring at me.” 

“How can she do that to you?”

She laughs humourlessly, resting her temple on her knees to look at him, “For the same reason she’s always been able to do anything, Aaron. Because she can. Because I’m close to becoming a spinster-”

“You’re 25,” he replies, his frustration breaking free as he clenches his teeth. It makes her feel better in a twisted way, that he was so affected by the news. It felt nice to know someone else cared so much. 

“Well, as she’s said multiple times, she was already married and had me by my age,” Emily replies, “Apparently he’s going to do it officially in a couple of weeks, and it is expected that I say yes.” 

“This is insane Emily, it’s 1917. Surely you have a choice these days.” 

“Women like me rarely have a choice, Aaron,” she says, sadly closing her eyes to force back the tears she refused to shed, “I have a duty. I was born with one. And that is to marry someone and have children.” 

He sighs, shaking his head as he leans forward, and he places his hand on her shoulder, squeezing tightly. 

“I’m sorry, Emily.” 

“I’m sorry too.” 

She thinks it might be the closest they will ever come to admitting in another life, they could have had more. 

___

She barely eats any of her dinner, excusing herself early to her room, her sadness a heavy weight in her stomach. She’s sat on her bed, a book open on her lap, simply staring at the wall. A knock on the door snaps her out of it, and she sighs.

“Come in,” She says, relieved when it opens to reveal JJ, an everpresent kind smile on her face as she steps into Emily’s room, “Oh JJ, I’m glad it's you.” 

“Your mother sent me up,” she says, sitting on the edge of Emily’s bed, “She’s worried,” she smiles as Emily rolls her eyes, “She is my boss,” she shrugs. 

“Technically Rossi is your boss,” Emily says, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips as she mentions the head butler, “And she’s his boss.” 

“Semantics,” JJ says waving it off, picking an invisible bit of lint off of her maid’s uniform, “Are you ok? It can’t have been an easy day.” She asks, and Emily knows she genuinely cares. She was her friend, another member of staff from the house who she knew she could trust.

“Not really,” she admits, closing her book and sighing, “This whole thing with the Doyles is just…it’s ridiculous. We all know the rumours about Ian, he’s a vicious-”

“Wait, what are you talking about?” JJ says, tilting her head as she furrows her brows, “What about the Doyles?” 

“Mother told me…” she drifts off, a sick feeling dropping in her stomach, “Wait, what are you talking about?” 

JJ hesitates for a second before starting, “You know it’s being reported we’re joining the war in Europe?” 

“Yes,” she says, her stomach twisting even further, “I read it in the paper, what's that got to do with anything?”

“Hotch has…well he’s signed up to join the army,” JJ says carefully. It takes a moment for her words to register, for their meaning to wash over Emily. 

She stands up, scrambling off of the bed, “He’s done what?” 

“It’s the talk of the house,” JJ says, standing up too, “He handed his notice in a week ago, Rossi has advertised for his role. I thought he would have told you.” 

Emily chokes out a bitter laugh, “No,” she says, shaking her head, “No, he didn’t tell me.” 

___

He knows it's her the second the door to his home opens, her furious footsteps down the path unmistakable. One of the many things about her he’d recognise anywhere. He turns to look at her, unsurprised to see the fury on her face, the way her arms are tight around herself. 

“Were you ever going to tell me?” She asks, her eyes fixed on him, unyielding in her gaze. He sighs and goes back to folding the shirt in his hands dropping it in the bag in front of him. 

“I wrote you a letter,” he replies, picking it up off of the small end table near his couch and handing it to her. She snatches it from his hand, the envelope crumbling slightly as she folds her arms again, “It explains everything.”

She chuckles humourlessly, shaking her head at him, “You really weren’t going to tell me to my face? You were just going to leave?” 

“Em,” he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose as he’s forced into a conversation he’d tried to avoid for both of their sakes, “You would have tried to talk me out of it.”

“Of course, I would have,” she exclaims, stepping closer to him, shaking her head, “It’s war, Aaron. I read the papers I know what’s going on over there,” the next words catch in her chest, scratching at her insides as they make their way out, “You could die.” 

He places his hand on her elbow and she pulls away from him, the first time ever the always too brief physical affection between them felt too much to bear. 

“Emily, I know that, but I have to do it. It’s the right thing to do. It’s my duty, just like you were talking about earlier.” 

“Don’t talk to me about duty. And screw the right thing to do,” she shouts, not caring that she sounded selfish, like the spoiled brat everyone always mistook her for. “What about me? You’re really going to just leave me here? If you die…” she drifts off, aware she’s on the precipice of saying one of the many things they never talk about. 

Aaron reaches out for her again, his hand on her shoulder. She doesn’t shake it off this time, the tension visibly leaving her body as he touches her. 

“If I die…” he says, leading her into saying what he already knew. What he’d written in the letter she had crumbled in her hand. One of them had to say it, and she’d always been braver than him. 

“If you die, I’ll spend the rest of my life missing you,” she admits, a crack to her voice as she says it, her eyes shining with tears he knows she won’t shed, “I can’t lose you, Aaron, I…I love you. You know that. Surely you know that.” 

For a moment, the world stops. He can no longer hear the chirp of the birds outside his house or feel the warmth of the fire behind them. All he can see, hear or feel is her and this moment they’ve been avoiding for years. The air is thick with it, with the admittance she can’t take back. 

“Emily-” he starts, cupping her cheek as he wipes a tear away from her skin. He’d never been quite this close to her before, had never felt the soft skin of her face. She cuts him off, shaking her head at him slightly. 

“And I know I’m about to be engaged to someone else, and that there are so many reasons this can’t work, but…I do. I have done since we were kids.” 

“I know,” he says, leaning forward so his forehead is against hers, something so intimate about it she heaves in a deep breath, “I know you have, and I love you too.” 

“Then stay,” she says desperately, pulling back to look at him, “Stay here and we’ll figure it all out. We can be together.” 

“It isn’t that simple,” he replies, desperate in an entirely different way, “I’ve signed up now, if I rescind that I could go to prison for desertion,” he feels a pang in his chest as her chin trembles, the force of the emotions she’d been trained since she was young to hold back clearly taking their toll. “And what about your mother? About the Doyles?” 

“I don’t care about any of that,” she says, reaching up and cupping his cheek, “I don’t care. I don’t love him, this is just some business deal my mother has cooked up because she thinks me being married will make me more upstanding…” she drifts off, her desperate rant fading as it turns into an idea, “That’s it. That’s what we can do.” 

Aaron uses the hand on her cheek to make her look at him again, confusion colouring his expression as their eyes meet. 

“What are you talking about? What can we do?” 

She smiles at him, a familiar glint she always had in her eyes when she teased him for being dense. 

“We can get married.” 

-x-

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[sjsmith56]

Reap What You Sow - Chapter 40, Lord Buchanan

Summary: Quin squares off against Duke John Walker to finally determine who will control of the kingdom.

Length: 4.2 K

Warning: Violence causing death, reveal of incest and forced breeding, treachery, slurs against one’s heritage.

Author’s notes: When I originally wrote this chapter in the spring of 2022, I had just received a cancer diagnosis. I was scheduled for imminent surgery and because of my own health at the time there was a risk I wouldn’t wake up from the surgery. I went on a writing binge before the surgery to complete the story for publication on its original platform, Wattpad. In a way, the sword fight in this chapter became my way to fight the betrayal I felt about my body allowing a cancerous tumour to grow. That’s where my head was at the time of this chapter, Chapters 41 and 42.

<<Chapter 39

🗡️ 🏰

Edward's eyes were closed, his pale skin cold under Quin's fingertips. His body, wrapped in a shroud, except for his face, was ready for internment in the King's chapel. It was Quin's only way to honour his friend, who had been a new recruit just like him in Lord Buchanan's garrison. Liam, positioned on the other side of the body also traced his fingertips along Edward's brow. Together the three of them had bonded, playing harmless pranks on each other, throwing insults in each other's faces in the way all young men do. They laughed, cried, got drunk together, and the two of them proudly watched Quin get married to a Baroness.

"You taught him to dance," said Liam, gently. "Or rather, you convinced your beloved to teach him. He danced with princesses."

"It's my fault he's dead," said Quin, fighting back the tears. "I was too loud. It drew the sniper to our position."

"No, it's not your fault," replied Liam. "Both of us committed to fighting for you and that meant we committed to dying for you. Edward proved that. He had no family, did you know that? He was found alone in the wilds 5 years ago by Rhodes, who brought him in to work in the kitchen because he knew Cook would be kind to him. Didn't even know his last name so he decided to make it Forest because that's where he lived, in a broken down hut with no door. Although I guess Rhodes loved him like a son. I know he was proud when Edward chose to be a recruit in the garrison."

"He never told me of his past," said Quin. "But then I never asked.  He was noble, Liam. Now I have to bury him. Sleep well, my brother."

He kissed Edward on his brow as did Liam and the two young soldiers stood up. Quin nodded to the detail who would lower Edward into his crypt and cover it with a stone slab. When things returned to normal he would have it engraved, the words already permanently etched in his own mind but written down and left with the mason who would do the carving.

Here lies Edward Forest, soldier of Lord Buchanan, aged 18.

True friend of the last King.

Mourned by those who loved him.

He danced with princesses.

Standing up he saw Bren, Coulson, Heimdall, and Waya standing just inside the chapel door. All bowed their heads to him and he offered his hand to each of them in turn.

"The hostages are here?" he asked Waya.

"They are," said Waya, with a curl to his lip. "The family of Walker are actually happy to be here as there was no love for him in their home. They have requested asylum with you. The man was a monster; impregnating his own daughters with his seed."

Quin felt bile rising in his throat and forced it down, as he felt his anger build. "They are my cousins," he answered finally. "Their welfare is my responsibility now. The others?"

"A few bloody noses but no lasting harm," replied Waya. "The small children were fearful but I believe we assured them they will not be harmed. They had been told the Oklahoma tribes were cannibals."

"I am sorry for that," said Quin. "You have treated us with honour and respect, and I will spend my life making sure everyone knows that your people are honourable."

"Your Majesty," said Bren reluctantly, "I mean no disrespect but I still have concerns about Lord Fury's plan. I believe every man has the right to die in battle, regardless if they are honourable or not. Massacring them in a trap is not my idea of fair or honourable."

Quin swallowed hard. "At the time of Edward's death I wished only to pay it back to Walker fourscore," said the young king. "Since then I have been reflecting on what Buchanan's counsel would be and I agree with you. We will still draw them in, show them their families are hostage and give them the opportunity to surrender. But instead of unleashing hell upon them if they refuse I will call Walker out and challenge him to a duel. If he wins then you may avenge my death and take as many of them as you can. If I win you seize the leaders and bind them to face trial. Their men may then choose to surrender, promising never to raise arms against me again, or to be sent into exile to the southern islands." He started to walk away then turned back and cleared his throat. "Thank you Bren and Coulson for helping me to be a good man. Coulson, if I survive I would like you to consider staying to be an advisor to me. I will not fault you if you choose to return to your home. Heimdall, what a warrior you are. Surely, they broke the mold when you were cast. Waya, thank you for helping me to be proud of my heritage. Now, let's go end this war. Return to your men in the wash. Once Walker and his allied lords are assembled the flare will go up."

Liam followed Quin out the door already deciding his place was with his friend. Bren and the other four commanders went to the entrance to the secret tunnels, their horses waiting for them and returned to the wash where their company was assembled.

Fury was waiting in the command centre where Quin told him of the changed plans. To his credit, the only reaction Fury had was a raised eyebrow. He accepted the change and sent out runners to advise the commanders of it. Just before the sun rose Quin, Liam, and Fury went out on the battlements where the bowmen, bow-women and sharpshooters were arrayed. Stopping beside Sir Archer, Quin thanked him for his support. Then he faced the rising sun and waited. At first there was no response then a delegation from Walker appeared on horseback and faced the castle walls.

"Quin Torres!" yelled the negotiator. "You have lost most of your forces. Surrender and Duke Walker will allow you to leave here unmolested to return to the Kingdom of Broken Lands."

"First of all it's King Arthur!" yelled Lord Fury. "As to allowing him to leave, we call bullshit. You surrender."

The man laughed. "You have no soldiers left, except what is in your own garrison," he called. "Surrender now, or suffer the consequences. We have you surrounded."

From beyond the tree line, Walker's forces appeared and they appeared formidable. Quin smiled at Fury, who had already asked for confirmation of the enemy force at the rear of the castle. He looked at Quin when he got the signal from a runner who came through the tunnels.

"A single line to the rear and the flanks of the castle," he said. "Most of his force is in front of us and he has them spread out so they look even larger than they are."

"Call Walker out," said Quin, "and his lords."

Fury called out in his battle voice. "Duke Walker, come forward with your allies! Let us see the traitors in the flesh, for you are traitors, all of you."

The negotiator looked behind him and the force opened allowing half a dozen men on horseback through. The Duke, a tall blonde man with a haughty look on his face led them, riding with the others to where the negotiators were. As he advanced all of their force advanced with him. They passed over the trenches that had been built the night before then covered over with boards and sod. Fury glanced at Quin whose eyes never left those of his father's cousin, and his mother's two uncles.

"I see you escaped death last night," called Walker. "It doesn't matter for you will die when we take this castle."

"I see you are without honour," responded Quin. "My father knew it since you were children together and you never changed. Even with your own family. Tell me, did you enjoy forcing yourself on your own daughters and planting your own seed into them. Is that how you planned on keeping your bloodline pure?"

"Liar!" screamed the Duke, his face shaking with fury. "How dare you make such an accusation! You mixed blood bastard."

"I only repeat what I was told," yelled Quin, then reached out and pointed to a window in the castle. "Your own daughters have made the accusation."

Walker's wife and daughters stood in the windows and faced him. "It's true!" yelled his wife. "He kept us as captives, forcing himself on them at his will. He is a monster, he is a beast and he has tricked you all."

Two of Walker's allies pulled their horses away from him, looking at him in horror.

"Surrender," yelled Fury. "Submit yourselves for trial on the charge of treason. All of your families are safe with us and will not be harmed. Your men can surrender, promising never to rise against the King again, or they can be sent into exile in a new land. You have one minute to decide."

The wives of the allied lords appeared on the battlements to the surprise of their husbands.  The two lords who had pulled away from the others commanded their men to surrender then began racing for the castle gates but were shot down by snipers in Walker's forces. Before they could even react their men were surrounded, disarmed, then had guns put to their heads by Walker's men.

"Did you think I would let them surrender so easily?" shouted Walker. "I mean to have this kingdom and by God's might I will."

Quin looked at Fury who nodded. "Well then, cousin," yelled Quin. "You won't object if I challenge you to a duel. You killed my father, and my friend, and you injured my general. I think I have sufficient grounds to challenge you to fight me, one on one. If God is on your side you will win easily."

"Very well," sneered Walker. "Come down, boy, and meet your maker."

Fury nodded to the master bowman who shot an arrow into the air with a flare attached. It lit up at the apex and flared on it's journey back down.

"The challenge has been issued and accepted," called Fury. "If King Arthur is victorious it means you all surrender and lay down your arms."

"If Duke Walker is victorious then you will be slaughtered," called back the negotiator.

Quin undid his scabbard but kept his sword and a single knife. He came off the battlements followed by Fury and Liam. At the bottom of the stair was Donald Cooper, the man who said he would stand with Quin. Quin stopped and offered Cooper his hand. When Quin strode out the gate towards Walker with Fury, Liam, and Cooper, he saw the man had removed his jacket, vest, and shirt so he did the same as he walked.  Liam stepped forward to take them.

"Remember, he likely has poisoned blades," said Fury as they approached. "Ask him to switch blades with you. If he refuses then demand the blades of a random soldier."

Quin nodded and stood in front of his father's cousin. Walker was taller than him by a couple of inches and heavier by about 20 lbs but Quin had trained against much bigger veterans and had held his own. He was confident of his chances.

"Before we start I want you to scratch yourself with your blades," said Quin. "It's not that I normally don't trust an adversary.  But you have repeatedly shown you have no honour.  Lord Fury, check his breeches and boots for hidden blades."

"Then I demand the same," said Walker, as Fury quickly checked him and pulled a small blade out of his boot, showing it to all.

Walker's negotiator searched Quin and found nothing. Then both men scratched themselves on the arms with their blades, observed by both Fury and the negotiator.

"Now, switch blades with me," said Quin.

"No, we have already established the blades are clean," protested Walker.

"But is the tip clean?" asked Quin. "If it is then switch blades."

"I will not!" snarled Walker and he went on the attack forcing Quin into a defensive positions.

Fury punched his own hand in disgust. Walker was treacherous but to be openly dishonourable was unthinkable. He could see disgust on the faces of several of Walker's men. Fury and the two others withdrew, giving space to Quin and Walker.  As the duel progressed Liam touched Fury's arm, indicating that Buchanan's force had silently arrayed themselves behind the main force. They both saw their swords were already dripping with blood and nodded at each other with satisfaction. The battleground to the rear of the castle had been defended and secured. The two Walkers continued in their deadly dance against each other with the advantage alternating between the Duke and the young king. So far Quin had eluded the poisonous tip of Walker's blade. Suddenly he stumbled on an exposed root and fell onto his back. As Walker advanced to sink the tip of his sword into Quin the young man kicked out with his foot at Walker's knee. A crack of breaking bone was heard as Walker sank down from the pain. At the same time Quin forced his blade into Walker's chest and thrust it in pushing the older man backwards until he fell. Quin rose and continued pushing it in as far as it could go while standing on Walker's sword arm with one foot. Wildly Walker waved his knife blade around but Quin eluded its touch then let go of his sword to grasp Walker's hand and force the knife from it. He stood looking over Walker and roared before speaking.

"You are finished," he said. "May you be banned from the Gates of Hell as unworthy to pass even there. May your soul be in limbo forever."

Blood poured from Walker's chest and mouth as his life drained out of him. Then he looked up and saw his mother's uncles draw their swords and quickly motioned towards them. Fury yelled a command and all the blinds and trenches opened showing a multitude of soldiers ready to take on the remaining forces of Walker's. Donald Cooper and Liam were quicker, drawing their swords and holding them to the necks of Quin's uncles. Even those soldiers of the Lords who had attempted to surrender before being shot down took the arms of Walker's men before surrendering themselves again.

As the uncles were taken into custody, Liam approached and checked Quin's skin for scratches or nicks finding only those that the young king had inflicted on himself before the fight. He smiled at Quin, hugged him, then handed him his shirt, vest and jacket from where he had dropped them on the ground. Soldiers led by Cooper brought the two uncles of Quin's mother and the remaining lord who still supported Walker to face the young king. Quin spat on his relatives.

"You are no family of mine," he said. "Your soldiers get no chance to surrender and return to their homes. They accept exile or they face trial beside you. You arranged the marriage of my mother to my father, yet you believe that I am an abomination. You disgust me."

The one uncle spoke. "At the time it was seen as a way to get our family into the palace," he said. "We didn't know Camila would actually fall in love with him. Never trust a woman."

Quin punched him, bloodying his nose. He raised his hand to his other relative then stepped back in disgust and ordered they be taken to the dungeons. Bren and the other commanders appeared, wiping their blades. Fury looked at Bren with appreciation.

"A much more honourable plan, Commander," said Fury. "Thank you for maintaining my King's honour."

"I could have been wrong," replied Bren. "This time I was fortunate."

Fury patted him on the back, covering Bren's shoulders with his arm, and the two old warriors walked together back to the palace. Quin and Liam followed.

"Will you stay?" asked Quin as they walked. "I need a friend to stay and you are my best friend."

"I will follow you forever, my King," said Liam earnestly. "Just don't fart at night when we have to share a tent."

Quin playfully shoved him then put his arm around Liam's shoulder. Later, after washing the dirt from his face and body, Quin went to the radio room where the ham radio operator was waiting.

"CQ CQ CQ KWP2 to KBL1 CQ CQ CQ" he said into the microphone.

Immediately the response came.

"KBL1 receiving, Banner here," said the voice. "Go ahead KWP2. Over."

"Hello Doctor," replied Quin, speaking into the microphone. "Quin Torres ... I mean King Arthur here. The war is over. Duke John Walker is dead by my hands. If Commander Rhodes is there tell him we lost Edward, as well as 300 of our original force. I have interred him in my family's chapel. The others will be buried in a special cemetery honouring their sacrifice. Over."

There was a pause then Bruce's voice came back on. "That is unfortunate," said Banner. "He was a good kid. Do you wish me to tell your mother and sisters it is safe to return now? And your wife, of course. Over."

"Negative, no," said Quin. "There is something I must do and I have to return to the Broken Lands to do it. It will be a couple of days before we set out but I will return with the force and reunite with my wife and family there. Then we will return here together by ship. Doctor ... Bruce ... tell everyone there that I owe them so much. Not just for the soldiers but for my honour. I will forever be in your debt. Over and out."

Bruce acknowledged then both he and the radio operator said the closing codes. Quin returned to the command centre where Fury was busy folding up maps and directing people to return tables to their original locations. He looked at Quin with an appraising eye.

"Your Majesty," he said. "You plan on returning the horse, don't you?"

"I feel it is appropriate," Quin replied. "I stole him and his master took me under his wing. It is my duty to ride Magnus back to his home. By the time we get there perhaps Buchanan will have already arrived and transformed. Then I can thank him personally for teaching the brat that I was to become a man. I have asked Coulson to stay as a counsellor as I trust both him and you to speak true to me. I have also asked Liam to stay, as my friend. We can find something for him to do, can't we?"

"Court jester perhaps," joked Fury. "I am sure he will fit in well. The two Lords who were killed ... their families have requested mercy for themselves, claiming they were duped by Walker. Their sons have pledged fealty to you but I have made it clear that when you abdicate their positions will become elected ones and not inherited ones. They are considering their options. Their soldiers have been freed from their responsibilities. Many were conscripts or owed money to their lords. All have pledged not to rise against you and I have chosen to take them at their word."

"My family that were on Walker's side?" asked Quin, "and their soldiers?"

"Your mother's uncles will be tried," replied Fury. "About a third of their soldiers have also chosen trial. The others have chosen exile and wish to send for their families to join them. Which leaves the southern frontier open. May I suggest you offer the lands to Hilda, the Queen's Guard warrior? We will need her to teach our women how to fight. She might be able to talk her people into coming here. You could offer control of it to her in perpetuity.  Her people should have lands to call their own."

Quin smiled but was unsure if she would accept. "Perhaps some of the Oklahoman warriors might be willing to stay for a time to help her," Quin suggested. "I will talk to Waya as well. Jose Flores, he has family also, doesn't he, still trapped in the lawless lands?"

"Yes, he does," said Fury. "I will offer him lands as well. He has worked miracles on the coffee plantation and has shown he can be a good steward."

The young king and his trusted advisor spoke for several hours about the changes that would be implemented right away and those that would happen over time. They set a timeline of one year, two at the latest to bring about the changes that would see the kingdom change to a republic with elections. In a sense Quin was relieved. It had taken much personal change for him to accept the mantle of responsibility to be king. It wasn't quite as difficult to give it up to begin true and meaningful change in the kingdom. With Isabella at his side he thought he could do just about anything with his life, including running for office.

The next day, Quin went to the stables to see Magnus. He had been kept there ever since Buchanan fell. Bringing an apple with him, Quin approached the black stallion inside his stall, despite the misgivings of the stable master, who had exercised him somewhat but was still intimidated by the beast.

"Magnus," said Quin gently, holding out half the apple. "I'm sorry I wasn't with you before, old friend. There was much I needed to take care of before I came to you." The great horse slowly approached him and took the half apple. "You miss him, I know. I miss him, too. Would you like to go home?" Magnus murmured and Quin nodded. "I thought so. Will you let me ride you for the journey? I could not trust anyone else to care for you."

The great horse took the second half of the apple and put his head over Quin's shoulder. Fighting the tears Quin stroked the horse's neck. Then he stepped back and looked at him, the glossy black coat, long beautiful mane, and the proud stance that had enticed him when he saw Magnus for the first time 7 months before. So much had happened in that time. So much had changed. But one thing was certain. Magnus  would never be his horse as his heart belonged to another. For the final journey the horse had consented to carrying him and that would have to do.

"Tomorrow, Magnus," said Quin. "We will begin the journey home tomorrow."

Magnus nickered and pushed Quin, bringing up a smile. Then he left the stable and began to prepare the saddle bags to carry Buchanan's clothing and his own.

Before sunrise Quin rose, washed and put his travel leathers on, picking up the heavy saddlebags and carrying them down to the mess, which was still open to feed all the soldiers. Liam hailed him and he dropped the bags off at that table to line up for his meal. He ate the same food as the soldiers, in the same metal or wooden bowls, and, in the only display of his influence, reminded the cook that the leftovers were to go to the poor, even while he was gone. Then he sat with Liam, Hilda, Coulson, Bren, Heimdall and Waya on their final meal that wouldn't be rations and talked about the journey to come. Waya had asked for volunteers amongst his force who would stay with Hilda to secure the southern frontier against any lawless ones who still attempted to wreak havoc by crossing into these lands. She sent out messenger falcons to her people about the granting of lands to their tribe in perpetuity. If all went well they would begin arriving within a couple of weeks. When they finished eating and went outside there was a sizeable number of the garrison soldiers present, as well as Garcia, Fury, and Duke Walker's family, his second cousins. He had already informed them his home was their home.

"Your Majesty," said Fury. "Please radio us when you arrive and before you leave. The kingdom will be safe until you return home in a month. Go, fulfill your last promise."

Quin mounted Magnus and looked out over those who were also mounted on their horses. "Let's get you home," he said. "Move out."

As one, with Quin and the commanders at the head, the great force began to ride for the Oklahoma wilderness, almost a two day's ride from there. After the force left Hilda looked at Fury and commented that it seemed quite lonely around the castle. He nodded sagely and returned to the palace to send the message over the ham radio that the soldiers of the Broken Lands were on their way home.

Chapter 41>>

Series Masterlist

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[bakawitch]

For the ask game: monarchshipping 👀👀

So Monarchshipping...

This is a ship I have conflicting feelings towards because for me, this ship only works in a very specific way. (And in some fics I read they're written as brothers or opposing forces and that kind of messes with my perception of the ship from time to time lol.)

To avoid this answer getting unnecessarily complicated and long, yes.

I SHIP IT

1. What made you ship it?

In the olden days of early 201x I used to have a profile on the hell site known as AFF because every time I exhausted a shipping tag on FF.net or AO3 that's where I would go to read more about the said ship. Funnily enough, I was reading a mobiumshipping fic when the monarch boys took a hold of me. Usually, mobiumshipping fics at that time were extremely Yugi-centred mostly spending time exploring his relationships with Yami and Atem. Yami's and Atem's relationship in those fics were almost always strictly one of them hurting Yugi's feelings and the other one getting mad and berating them about it. So when I started reading this fic where their relationship specifically was the focus for the majority of the fic and in it they were actually depicted as different people with thoughts that weren't solely about Yugi, with their own feelings and flaws, I was immediately hooked. I've never seen them written in a way around Yugi when they weren't just yesmen clones of each other because that just wasn't a popular concept for mobium shippers (for some reason) and for me that was a very welcome change. So that fic kickstarted a week-long monarchshipping bender for me but after that it kind of faded into the back of my mind for a while. That is until I started seeing your fanart of them floating around tumblr! Now they're back living rent-free in my brain XD

2. What are your favourite things about the ship?

Hmm... The thing I like the most about this ship is how they mirror each other, but also differ in a lot of ways at the same time. As I mentioned earlier, I can't enjoy monarchshipping unless it's written in a very specific way. With these boys, everything is a struggle, but it's worth reading about because that's what makes them interesting. If the fight for completion and happiness is ultimately taken out of them because everything is perfect, they don't fight, they don't have any differences, they don't have opinions, there is no risk whatsoever, they are literally the same person written twice into a relationship, the ship completely loses its charm for me. (That's why I can't enjoy most old mobiumshipping fics at this point.) What I enjoy in this ship the most is their journey and their development. I also love seeing how different authors interpret and depict their characterisation! To me, it's so cool that in one fic Atem can be a borderline psychopathic and pyromaniac leader figure and Yami a serious guy who doesn't have time for his bs and in another Atem is a burdened but dedicated guy with too many responsibilities on his hands and Yami is the crazy untamable rebel that pulls him out of his stressful routine and it still works.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Not exactly an unpopular opinion, more like a headcanon a fic infected me with... There was this one Atem returns fic I read a few years ago where Atem and Yami return together. Everyone is very confused as to why there are two of them and who the actual spirit of the puzzle was. Cue existential crisis, weird rivalry among them, trying to come to terms with life and whatnot and yada yada. But as the fic goes on it's slowly revealed that Yami was Horus possessing Atem all along. Yami/Horus and Atem obviously have very conflicted feelings about the revelations but they manage to work through them somehow. So long story short, this fic kind of planted this silly little headcanon seed in my head that what if Yami was Horus? And now it's stuck there... (Also if anyone knows this fic, please send it my way because I forgot to save it like the genius I am and I couldn't find it ever since.... makes you wonder if it was all just a crazy fever dream when you can't find an awesome fic you really liked...)

Anyway! The ship ask thing is still on if anyone wants to ask some!

[deputyzed]

SAMIRA ABDULLAH: THE DEPUTY

Raised in Seattle, Washington and the daughter of Lebanese immigrants, it was always expected of Samira to follow in her parents' footsteps and become a doctor. Wanting to live up to her family's expectations, she pursued an education in pre-med until she discovered her true passion in criminal psychology. After a dramatic change in her life course and much pushback from her parents, she gets a degree in criminal psychology with the goal of eventually becoming an agent in the FBI.

Desperate to escape the weight of her parents' scrutiny and intrigued by the rumors of a large cult in the area, Samira applies for a position in the sheriff's department in Hope County. It's a small enough area that she believes she can fast track her way to the role of detective and eventually move onto a bigger, more prolific department elsewhere. She moves to Montana and completes the three month Sheriff's Academy. Upon graduating, she's given the position of rookie deputy within the Whitetail Mountains division of the Hope County Sheriff's department. This division within the Sheriff's department tends to take on more of the 'high profile' cases within Hope County, and has been integral in gathering evidence against the cult for some time without much luck in finding anything tangible that could lead to a warrant.

Eight months into her year long training as a rookie, the department recovers video evidence of the cult kidnapping tourists and is able to secure the warrant for Joseph Seed's arrest. As the hotshot rookie within the department, Samira's given the opportunity to assist Whitehorse and the Marshall with the arrest. Things quickly turn south as the team tries to leave the compound and Joseph Seed is freed due to the sacrifice of his followers and subsequent helicopter crash. Injured and in enemy territory, Samira is forced to fight her way to safety as the Reaping begins.

QUICK FACTS:

The events of the game take place over a three year period, given the size of Hope County (which is a lot bigger than what's shown on the game map) and the inability of each resistance faction to work together or really accomplish anything without the deputy's help.

Though Samira begins in Holland Valley, she establishes contact with all three resistance factions first and spends her time traveling between each area. Her progression through liberating the areas is not entirely linear, and essentially she is taken by each Herald at various times throughout her efforts to liberate the county.

She executes John Seed first, then Faith, and Jacob last.

Of all the Seeds, Samira is most intrigued by Jacob and the inner workings of his mind. He has a deep understanding of the human psyche, more so than his brothers and Faith, that she finds fascinating, if not alarmingly similar to her in a way.

[abookishdreamer]

Character Intro: Sophia (Kingdom of Ichor)

Nicknames- Soso by her brother & girlfriend

Age- 33 (immortal)

Location- Little Athens, New Olympus

Personality- She's intelligent, analytical, confident, & ambitious. She loves actively pursuing knowledge. She's a lesbian and is currently dating.

She has the standard abilities of a goddess except shapeshifting. As the goddess of thought her other powers/abilities include telepathy, thought projection, mental manipulation (manipulating the minds of others by force or will), having an eidetic memory, and intelligence reduction.

Sophia's abode is a stylish brownstone in the Little Athens neighborhood of New Olympus. The interior design strikes the perfect balance between historic charm & modern elegance. There's a rooftop terrace with a small garden, dark oak flooring, and two ornate fireplaces. The color scheme is cream, royal blue, oxblood, & chocolate brown with wood countertops in the kitchen as well as lots of linen and leather furniture. Everything is immaculately organized.

She has a single pet, her animal companion being a she-dragon named Azurine. Most of her scales and wings are a dark cobalt while her claws, crest, & belly scales are bright copper. Azurine is Sophia's primary mode of transportation.

A go-to drink for her is tumeric tea which she brews herself. She likes to add a bit of honey and lemon juice to it. She also likes cranberry juice, hibiscus tea, homemade kale smoothies, mint infused water, champagne, martinis, & pinot grigio. Her usuals from The Roasted Bean is a medium iced green tea and an olympian sized mango orange splash.

Sophia always starts off her mornings with a session of acupuncture then a session with her masseuse.

Her immediate family includes her older brother Favian (god of philosophy). They have a close relationship with her bringing him meals she cooks. She secretly looks forward to their passionate conversations spanning many topics.

For breakfast her go-to is the whole wheat breakfast burrito from The Bread Box added with sliced avacado, extra spinach, and black olives. At home she'll settle for a bowl of rizogalo, a couple of lightly toasted & buttered onion bagels, or a big bowl of Earthly Harvest raisin crunch cereal.

The most notable feature of Sophia is her long, thick, curly, & glossy raven hair. She attributes the health of her hair to a homemade hair mask she makes (that she puts on her hair for an hour every month) made with tumeric, sweet potato, olive oil, manuka honey, mango pulp, and a few drops of the Glory's Crown healthy hair oil blend. Her other go-to product is the Hairology 2-in-1 eucalyptus & mint shampoo/conditioner.

A guilty pleasure for her the lamb gyros from Olympic Chef. She sometimes orders three or four at once!

She also loves the mandarin orange green salad (drizzled in poppy seed dressing) from The Bread Box.

Sophia' main source of income comes from being Headmistress at Polus Preparatory- a school for youngsters started by Coeus (Titan god of foresight, intellect, & knowledge). The school is in the state of Delphi, a nearly two hour ride on dragonback. She expects nothing short of excellence from her students and faculty. For other means of income she endorses/models for Threads of Wisdom (is a fan of the slingbacks and crossbody bags), Olive Visibly, & White Lily Gallery. She's also a contributing writer for O Dianooumenos.

Her favorite frozen treat is the red velvet cake ice cream waffle cone sundae from The Frozen Spoon.

Sophia's been dating her girlfriend Eikono (goddess of iconography & literature) for a few months and she really enjoys spending time with her. Their first date was an early evening stroll and picnic at Eaglepoint Park where she won Eikono over with her homemade macaroni salad. Whenever their schedules permit, they're always together. A moment of sheer bliss for Sophia is them laying in bed on a quiet lazy morning reading the paper & drinking tea.

Her mentor was Mnemosyne (Titaness of memory & language).

In the pantheon Sophia's friends with Iaso (goddess of cures & remedies), Neicus (god of debate & appeal), his sister Dimósia (goddess of debate), Mesembria (Bria) (goddess of the afternoon); despite the breakup with Favian, Sophrosyne (goddess of moderation, temperance, & restraint), Hesychia (goddess of quiet, stillness, rest, & silence), Pistis (goddess of trust, reliability, & good faith), Nomos (god of laws), Amphictyonis (Amy) (goddess of diplomacy), and Aletheia (goddess of truth). Sophia also admires all the accomplishments of Athena (goddess of wisdom). She also respects her girlfriend's father Logos (god of stories).

As an induction gift, she recieved a pair of designer heels which had a lined paper print design (along with a pencil themed strap) from Kéfi (goddess of mirth).

Sophia prefers wearing cologne than perfume, her favorite being REIGN, the most recent one from Zeus.

Her favorite dessert is the portokalopita from Hollyhock's Bakery.

In her free time Sophia enjoys reading, writing, poker, chess, yoga, doing crossword puzzles, football (soccer), cricket, tennis, going to museums, going to the opera, and visiting art galleries.

Her favorite meal is white rice with butter chicken.

"A being is but the product of their thoughts. What one thinks, one becomes."