#for your birthday with junkan

[aparticularbandit]

For Your Birthday

Summary: Mikan's birthday comes after the Tragedy, and Junko has made it very clear that she definitely, most certainly, will not be there.

She's got more important things to attend to, after all.

Fic Rating: T.

AO3

alternate ending

“I won’t be here,” her beloved says, “for your birthday.”

Plans within plans within plans, her beloved has, so when she says something like that, there’s no way to change it.

Enoshima-sama’s mind isn’t like a clock, simply and battery-powered, or even like a computer, programmable even if you don’t understand it.  Sometimes, Mikan imagines her mind like an entire human body to itself, with every cell and every organ working in conjunction for one much greater….

No.

That can’t.

Mikan doesn’t really think in metaphors very often.  She’s not very good at that.  But she knows that when her beloved says that something won’t happen, then it won’t; knows that the reason it can’t happen is because for it to happen, something else in her beloved’s plans has to drop by the wayside.  It’s not about priorities, or anything like that.  If Enoshima-sama could…could change it, then she would.  She would be here.

It isn’t because she doesn’t love her, or anything.

(Of course, one could say that the way her heart drops is her beloved’s gift to her – or, even, the way she will feel despair at the fact that her beloved won’t be there when her birthday finally does come around.  Knowing Enoshima-sama, that’s probably the best gift she could hope for, not because she thinks it’s the best, but because her beloved does.)

Enoshima-sama runs her fingers soft through Mikan’s hair, bends locks of it in her grasp, and makes a sharp sound of disapproval.  “You need a haircut, bestie.  This is all—”  Her nose turns up.  “—disheveled.”

~

“I won’t be here,” her beloved reminds her, “for your birthday.”

There’s no name for what her beloved is doing with the world, not yet.  People rarely name disasters until they’re in process; how you can name something before it begins?  They haven’t even named the massacre of the student council; they’re still trying to cover that up; and really, that’s the problem, isn’t it?  Maybe, if they hadn’t covered it up; maybe, if they’d been honest with themselves and with everyone else, it wouldn’t have gotten this bad.

It’s okay, Mikan wants to tell her.  I don’t really celebrate it anyway.

Of course, if she said any of that out loud, she’d stutter, she’d get tongue tied, her words would run together, and she wouldn’t even be able to look up at her beloved as she said it.  She’d be looking down at her hands, keeping them clenched together so tightly because she always does that, it’s a habit.  (If her hands are here, then they aren’t anywhere else.)

This way, saying nothing, she can imagine the conversation as it would have gone – which is to say, not at all – and she can keep her eyes on her beloved the entire time, instead of being distracted with her own inadequacies.

(Her beloved loves her for those inadequacies.

Maybe she should say something.)

“That’s not, like, a big deal to you, or anything, is it?”  Enoshima-sama barely looks at her, one hand propped on her hip.  She yawns, covers her mouth with one hand, and twirls about on one heel.  “Birthdays are kind of boring, anyway.  It’s the same thing every year!  I don’t even remember mine half the time!”

(Mikan always catches the lie.)

~

“I won’t be here,” her beloved says as the world crumples around them, “for your birthday.”

The sky isn’t red then, but when Mikan looks back on this memory later, as though holding it in a glass orb in her hands, she’ll remember it as red.  The thing of it is that the blood red with black clouds doesn’t come until after her beloved has gone away from her, hidden in that old school building with the other survivors, another massacre in the making.  That, at least, will have a name from the beginning – the Killing Game, her beloved calls it.  Sometimes the Killinger Game, which begs the question: will there be a Killingest Game?

Probably, after the Killinger Game is done.

(It’s a work in progress, her beloved says sometimes, dissatisfied, bored with her own title schematics.

Every now and again, Mikan thinks that maybe she’s waiting on her to offer another option.  But she doesn’t have anything to say.  If it were a horror movie, it would probably be something like The Killing Game 2, but that’s even more boring than the Killinger Game.  At least Killinger is kind of…kind of funny.

Isn’t it?)

The red sky and the black clouds come from the air pollution, among other things.  Bombs.  Fires, perpetual.  She’ll need a gas mask or something.  They all will.  Her beloved doesn’t want her to waste her time making sure they recover from breathing in too many things they’re not supposed to be breathing; she says that there will be enough air purifiers later for them to be just fine, so long as they wear the masks for a few months.

But, again, all of this will happen after she’s gone.

Likely around that birthday that keeps getting brought up, as though it’s something special.

“The Killing Game Remix: Killing Me Softly,” Enoshima-sama says, drumming her fingers against her lips.  Then her eyes light up, and she grins.  “Killing Me Loudly!” she chirps.  “That one sounds great, doncha think?”

~

I won’t be here, Mikan remembers, for your birthday.

But here, out of nowhere, a present wrapped in white and black with a small red ribbon for a bow and a gold rimmed card with her beloved’s handwriting in bright pink gel pen.

Mikan brushes her fingers against the present, unsure if it’s even real, but it’s very much there.  She doesn’t read the label first, saves it for last, because her beloved’s words are just as important as her beloved’s gift – maybe more so.  Her fingernails, sharp as her beloved carved them to be, scratch through the thin paper, and a shock of despair rips through her heart.

This should be conserved; this should be saved.

(She’s already breaking it.)

The present could be empty.  That would be an even greater despair, and it’s just the sort that Enoshima-sama would think to give.  To get her hopes all up that there would be something special inside, and then – nothing!  Of course, the ribbon alone is enough; Mikan can wrap it around her still uneven hair (they never did get that haircut, which means it must not have been important to her beloved after all), can pull it back while she gets splattered with blood the color of her beloved’s gel pen.  (It should be the cover of the ribbon.  When they put on the masks, they didn’t wear anything to protect their eyes.)

She carefully slips her fingers underneath tape and sets the slightly more tattered wrapping paper to one side.  The box smells as though Enoshima-sama were still here with her, even though she isn’t, all blueberries and lilacs and pomegranates.  She licks her lips before opening it.

Her eyes widen.

Oh.

There’s another card inside, and she smiles fondly at it.

I want to see you wear something fitting at the end of the world.

Deep, deep, beneath so much tissue paper and glitter that you could be convinced there’s nothing in there at all, Mikan finds another box, this one tiny and covered in black velvet.  She doesn’t want to open it.  (She wants to open it.)  She’s scared of what she’ll find inside.

Why should she be scared?  Enoshima-sama wouldn’t hurt her, after all.

Mikan takes a deep breath and opens the box.

Inside is nothing more than a simple golden chain – tiny loops clasped together so small that they could be gold beads from far away (they are not gold beads).  The very center holds a small ruby, no bigger than the swell of her eye, and equidistant from it but not far are two diamonds the size of a baby’s first tooth.  On the other end, the clasp looks like a golden knot.

A note, too, rests on the inside curve of the jewelry box: I thought a ring, but with all the surgeries and everything, you could’ve lost that.  This you don’t ever have to take off!

It’s only after clasping it that Mikan returns to the first note, gold-rimmed, on the outside of the box, still dangling from the red ribbon she will later use to hold her hair back.  She sucks her lower lip between her teeth and smiles.

Happy Birthday, best beloved.

I wouldn’t miss you for the world.

[danggirlronpa]

Oh! I didn't expect you to turn it back on me and ask if I had any suggestions... But I actually do!

retrograde brain (why is boredom your fate?) by Firedawn (Serpyre): kyouko/ryouko & super interesting! I really liked their relationship in it, though I will admit it's not the only focus; Junko's sister-relationship with Mukuro gets some focus too. Mukuro might actually be one of my favorite parts aside from the relationship in this one, too; I think the ending is PERFECT as well. Definitely more on the heavy side of things, but a very good read.

I Can't Fix It (is this where i give in?) by TheImmortalFlame: this one features a trans girl!Ouma named Keiko, which might not be everyone's cup of tea, but I definitely liked. It's a lot of AUs in a trench coat, too; most notably despair!Ouma. The ships are Maki/Keiko & Junko/Keiko and is pretty dark/sad but has a happy ending in the end. Love wins!

The Threshold by tsurugikinjo: a Junkan first meeting reimagining (not compliant with DR3), and one of my favorite versions of it. Warning for contemplation of suicide though, nothing happens but there are thoughts.

Mission: Inshoppable by Ripley Scrolls: more Mukuro focused than romance focused, but Komaru goes shopping with Mukuro to try and find something for Syo for her birthday, very cute! Definitely one of the more fluffy ones on this list.

Hopeless Devotion by Snarky_Sociopath: another Junkan reimagining (not complaint with DR3). I would warn that there's background incest between Mukuro and Junko, but the author has said that's only because they are like that in the DR3 canon, and that they aren't trying to romanticize it. It's also not the focus. I definitely understand if anyone wants to skip it because of that, however, as the topic makes me uncomfortable, too. It also focuses on some of the twilight syndrome girls relationships to Mikan in a very enjoyable way, too!

Chiaki Nanami Doesn't Smile by Oceantoast: Enonami with despair!Chiaki; I'm so starved of enonami content that I eat all of these sort of fics up.

Absolutely, Unnaturally, Picture-Perfect by lonely_lowri: a Mahiru character study!!! Less romance focused, but it definitely has Sato/Mahiru & Hiyoko/Mahiru in it.

Her Smile is the Sun by Midnightdemonht: This one is a Junko character study through the eyes of the remnants (not DR3 complaint), so it's not exactly focused on the romances? But they are definitely there.

Everything You've Ever Dreamed by VanadisValentine: NON DESPAIR JUNKAN... it's very sweet. They do a lot of non despair/non abusive Junkan so if that's someone's vibe, I definitely recommend their works!

Write Your Name In Secrets by PekoIsBaby: one of my favorite Celestia/Kyouko fics ever!!! It's plot is pretty darn good, too—I definitely recommend it for anyone who even has a passing interest in these two, it's really good!

Remember by PekoIsBaby: Sakura/Aoi, and my favorite of the pairing I've read. I wasn't immediately sold on the premise of mythical creature au but this one is really, really good. Even if you too aren't immediately sold on the premise, I do recommend reading it anyways because it may just surprise you!

Red Fingernails by PekoIsBaby: Mikan recovering from Junko fic with a bunch of Mikan/girls pairings, aha, though a lot of them are only implied. Ibuki/Mikan is the main ship, if I remember correctly, but there's minor Akane/Mikan & Mahiru/Mikan too. Mikan recovery fic wooo let's go!!!

Sound Bites by starrylitme: Ibuki/Sayaka focus with some Ibuki/Junko, set in the IF-verse. I don't even ship Ibuki/Sayaka but this really made me a lot more interested in them! The way they both relate to music in different ways... very interesting.

Phantasmal Voices by Kayleen756894: ghost!Junko non despair Junkan AU... warning for suicide, but very very good so far! It hasn't updated in a few years, but I'm hoping it will eventually because it's super good.

Pink Heart Flutter by GalaxyAqua: VERY FLUFFY AND CUTE... miu/kaede, just pure fluff.

To Destinations Unknown by GalaxyAqua: a very good NWP post-V3 Miu/Angie AU. Probably my favorite Miu/Angie work out there, tbh.

Burning Your Eyes In The Sun by Jacynon: TENKO/ANGIE MY BELOVED... post-V3 NWP AU, and my favorite Tenko/Angie work I've read. I love Tenko/Angie & I think this work really incapsulates why.

like an island, just me and you by criminalheart: Mikan/Tenko in UTDP & really, really good!!! I loved how it explored Mikan & didn't shy away from her sometimes darker tendencies while still having Tenko be a light in the darkness for her... and it was very sweet, the whole thing.

you and god both got the guns by Jacynon: Tsumugi/Angie & a GREAT exploration of it. Tsumugi-focused.

Better Brighter by starrylitme: NANAMIKI PRE-DESPAIR... I love this one because Mikan is a bit unhinged in it. We need more toxic doomed Yuri nanamiki & I stick by that. This isn't exactly that, but it does scratch the itch somewhat. My favorite Nanamiki story out there!!

a series in poor focus by revolutionator: SATO/MAHIRU MY BELOVED.... probably my favorite Sato/Mahiru works!

Patient Logs by shsldespair: a Mikan-focused recovery fic, with past Junkan. She talks a lot about their relationship & some of the things she says are permanently ingraved in my head... this was written before DR3, I'm pretty sure, so it's not complaint with that.

stillness in woe by sonia (orphan_account): RYOUKO/MIKAN MY BELOVED... plus it's a goddess au which is so cool!!!

Incomplete by GalaxyAqua: Akane/Mikan, and probably the best of the ship I've read! Very good. A little on the sad side, but ultimately hopeful - it's set in a non despair AU.

Liar by monsterkiss: Sayaka/Junko & one of my favorites of the ship! It's from Junko's POV which is cool to see, & canon compliant.

Soft (But Only For Her) by Kayleen756894: a collection of nine abusive Junkan fics, very sweet!!

Those are just some of my favorites! I also didn't include any that I wrote (though you can go looking for them; my account is Buttercup_ghost and I do have a fair amount of them), just ones others wrote. Happy reading!!

Sorry this ask took so long to get to!! I held off to read all of them so I could offer my own thoughts, but I don't think I'll be able to for at least another month or two, and I definitely don't want to wait so long to share such a well crafted list T_T For now, I'll post it for others to see & so I can come back to it later!!

[picosbu]

Heh, Hello.

It's good to see you on your page 💫💦

A little bit about myself -

Birthday December 10 🌨️

Name - Asya

From Russia.

🇷🇺 / 🇺🇲 (🇬🇧)

There will be drawings, comics (Not sure)

Love — Sweets, Weekend,danganronpa

Hate — School, hate myself(?)

Favorite ship — Oumami, Naehara, komahina2 ( Aoi x Komaru), Tokonia,celesgiri,ikuzono, saiouma,saimatsu,naegami.

neutral ship - Togafuka, Naezono,Naekusaba(?),

Hateful ship - Naegiri,Junkan (Junko x Mikan)

Playing in – Roblox, Minecraft, Danganronpa, Doki Doki, Sims 4,detroit, yandere simulator 🧸🖇️

💭 I think that's enough. 💭

💕 🍁 bye! 🍁 💕

(IF ANYTHING, I'M SORRY FOR PUTTING THE TAGS)

[aparticularbandit]

For Your Birthday: Alternate Ending

Summary: Mikan’s birthday comes after the Tragedy, and Junko has made it very clear that she definitely, most certainly, will not be there.

She’s got more important things to attend to, after all.

Chapter Rating: M for horrifying imagery. Fic Rating: T because this is an alternate ending and not actually the fic proper. :P

AO3

original fic

I won’t be here, Mikan remembers, for your birthday.

Almost.

It’s the worst word in the world, almost, and it’s the one she thinks on the eve of her birthday, sitting in the school building those other children abandoned, her beloved’s broken body crumpled in her arms.

Almost.

Her fingers stained pink the moment she touched her (blood was red, once, red as the bow on her beloved’s chest before it was soaked through, but for all that her beloved told them to wear masks through the storm of what has uncreatively been called The Tragedy (and Enoshima-sama would have thought that was so boring, so predictable, as though they couldn’t think of anything better just because it was the most tragic (tragic like a murder?  tragic like a fallen hero?  or tragic like an outfit that just doesn’t fit quite right?)), she’d never told them to wear goggles; now their sight is changed, but it’s only the blood, all pink and sparkling where once it was red and clotted).

She only has so much time – she knows she only has so much time – and yet she can’t stop herself from stopping, from holding her beloved against her chest and sinking her head into her blood-soaked hair (the blood is brighter, darker, than the baby soft rose petal her hair was at the end).

Blue raspberries.

Even still, louder than the copper of her blood, blue raspberries.

Blue raspberries and pomegranates and something else.

Enoshima-sama would know, of course, but Enoshima-sama would never tell her.  Not outright.  She would make Mikan guess, and Mikan wouldn’t know, but if it was some sort of food base, Teruteru would know, or if it was some sort of floral base, Hiyoko would know, but Mikan….

She only knows these scents because her beloved once took her to the side and showed her how to mix oils together to create her own unique blend.

(“You always smell all clinical clean, Mikan.  Like old people.  It’s disgusting.”  Her beloved, pulling out one from what Mikan remembers as millions of bottles, but was really maybe only something like five or ten or fifty.  “Here.  Try this one.  Your patients will thank you.”)

Her beloved never let her see all of the scents she used for her blend, and her beloved kept changing them because she was bored, but blue raspberries were so often a base, and pomegranates….

It’s a reference, Mikan’s sure it is, but she can’t recall it right now.  That’s the worst thing of all; this must be another gift from her beloved, if she could just figure it out, but right now her mind is only full of—

She only has so much time, and she’s wasting her beloved’s body – her final, last gift – by trying to think of what this scent is and what her beloved would mean by it.

Plans within plans within plans.

Enoshima-sama must have known this was how it would end.  She must have planned for it.  She must have known that Mikan would find her when she did, and she must have crafted this scent specifically and uniquely for her.  It must mean something.

Mikan’s despair will be that she will never figure out what it means.

Her scalpel dips and weaves through her beloved’s chest.

(This time, she has goggles, so her tears don’t mix with her blood.)

I won’t be here, her beloved said, for your birthday.

But her heart is still warm in Mikan’s hands, and her womb—

Mikan very nearly smiles.

She could wrap her beloved’s skin around her and sleep in the warmth of her.

(When she’s done with her limited time, she very nearly might.  It certainly doesn’t belong with anybody else.)