#for years i worried that if i said something people would send me mean or weird asks

[sugar-and-pearls]

Howdy ghouls, folks and dearie- ohs

My name is Hedone and I've been in this community for about three years now. I love it truly and wish never to be parted from it. But in that time I've noticed somethings. Like how it can be difficult to survive it, especially when your starting out I feel. So, to give back I made this;

This is your guide on how to make friends and survive the selfshipping community.

So with that out the way, there are some steps to survive.

Create -

In my view, self shipping is often a creative outlet as it is a comforting one. The ability to take a piece of media into my hands and shape it to my whims and will is often awe-inspiring. I'll admit it's easier to see it with other people than with ourselves.

So with this in mind - start off small, though if you want to go guns blazing you can do that too. It doesn't have to be a lot. If you feel embarrassed, don't be. If you are afraid then don't worry cus your definitely not alone there.

Often times it helps to make a promo. This way people who find you can know some quick facts; your title, your fos and any other bits of info you wish to give. Most people will want to know if you share an fo or not - whether this is in case they are uncomfortable with share or want to know if your comfortable with sharing. Whether you are or not is your choice.

'this user' boxes are a fun way to decorate and tell people about yourself. If your worried about how it looks, then make another one, there's no limit unless you make one. Some people make Cards for it. If that's intimidating, don't worry boo, this is Tumblr - you do you.

My first real post was about what it would be like my mind was like a house and what which fos would stay and which ones would come and go. I posted it three years ago and in all that time it has gotten 16 notes on it. Does that mean that I shouldn't have created it? no, no it doesn't. Because when I read it it makes me happy.

Do a gush post, make art, start 'reblog with your f/o' game, write stories, make a moodboard - start the flow on those creative juices.

interact -

I've seen a lot of people be nervous about talking to new people and I can tell you, I feel the same. Its daunting, talking to someone new and it can be awkward wading through the small talk. Most people are in the same boat as you; nervous and wishing to talk about their fos.

Instead of focusing on being popular, try and make friends instead, its much much more emotionally fulling than the first option. Find people with fos in the same source, and try and build it up from there. You'll find your weridos eventually - you just got to sieve though the rest first. You don't have to be best pals with everyone on there but be friendly.

If you recognise a character, why not send an ask? If you have a mutual in mind, why not try and talk with them? Reblog other people's art and moodboards and posts. Doing content trades is a great way to interact with people (and boo if your worried or don't think your content is very good, don't be - we're all evolving here). Also if you can or just like to draw, you can make fanarts for a selfship you like or would like to be your mutual - like I said before, everyone on here just wants to talk about their fos here, all that is needed is a small push first.

With that in mind not everyone you talk to is going to like you, or interact the same way you do. Everyone has a style to themselves and that's ok - the trick is find someone who has the same, or a similar style as you. Even though we are interacting through a screen, remember that there is another person behind that screen; ask them how they're doing, what they're up to, if anything positive happen in their life.

Also be careful about the kinds of people you want to befriend- do they give back what you give first? Do they share your joy? You're bound to find many you click with, just be patient and don't give up - you got this 👍😊👍

Make Friends From All Walks Of The Community -

You'll never know who you're fandom buddy will be - Antis, proships, all are people and all have a different flavour to one another. Its up to you to pick. I've found that to survive here you have to lay roots. No man is an island after all. If you don't agree with a someone's ship or like it doesn't cost much to just be polite. Being considerate and kind to other people's selfships goes a long way round here.

Insecurity

Its pretty easy to feel intimidated by other's success. feeling like their ships are being validated while yours aren't (trust me here - I know what I speak of) but here's what you have to remember: We're all just people daydreaming about fictional characters - No one is better than you and you f/os will always love you!

This is one of the many reasons why building a foundation of fellow weridos is important, its good to have a someone that your able to lean on and vice versa.

But main point here is that no matter what, no one can take away your fos love for you nor your love for them. And if they try, flip them the 🖕 cus we don't give a 🦆

Karma -

I see a few newbies do this where they go onto someone's blog, reblog a game but not send in an ask from that game. If you reblog an ask game off of someone, sent in an ask from that game. Every little helps and it spreads the love around.

Tumblr is not like Instagram, likes are not the currency here. Reblog other people's art and moodboards and posts. Leave a comment in the tags about the things you like or what you felt like when you saw it, send in an ask about their post.

Remember that even though we are interacting through a screen, there is another person behind that screen; Wishing for the same things as you do.

Take Breaks

It can be tiring on here, takes up a lot of energy so taking breaks can be good for you.

It's not like your fos are going to run away the second you turn your back - come away from Tumblr for a bit and reconnect with the outside, touch some grass, take a walk outside for a while. Its can be for as long as you like. I usually find that I like to take these breaks when I have things planned, so like if I'm going somewhere or have a thing planned I generally just try and stay off Tumblr for as long as I can, till I really want to.

If you feel like your abandoning your fos then why not take them with you? what would they say when your outside? How would they react? What would you say back? things like that.

Like with many of my posts, I doubt it will get much attraction. But if one person sees it and it helps them, then that's my dues paid, my contribute made. A very special thank you to @echoes-lighthouse @wisemins @hibiscus-ships @tex-treasures @missnaunet @vanilla-ending, @multyshipping for all your tips and helps with making this post.

With that said, thank you for reading this and if you never see me again

Merry Meet, Merry Part and Merry met Again.

[potter-inthe-tardis]

I can't believe I follow someone who was at dashcon??? This is like following royalty omg

Omg! I love that you think of it like that! Dashcon royalty!

[viiinz]

rant incoming, see prev post (transphobia tw)

[giannaln4]

I Missed You

lando norris x fem reader

summary: You missed seeing Lando being happy after a race, and you couldn't wait to tell him how proud you were.  (1.4k words)

warnings: fluff, stablished relationship, a bit of mclaren slander

a/n when i tell you i loved this idea SO SO much. i’m not too sure i’m happy with how this turned out but i really hope you guys enjoy it 🩷 i apologise for posting this just before the race but it was a bit hard to get started for some reason 😭 anyway pls let me know what you think!!

check out the original request here!

↺ back to navigation — send me a request!

The weekend in Monza was one you were hoping to forget. The tension in the air reflected not only in the team but also in the comments people were making about it, having even sports commentators and content creators question McLaren’s entire strategy to keep their fighting position in the WCC and also have a shot at the WDC. 

Lando’s demeanour immediately after getting off the car was something you would never forget, though, even if you tried. It was pretty obvious for everyone, even if he tried his hardest to never say something bad about his team and his teammate. That team was his home anyway. He had been with McLaren even before his F1 career started, and even after weekends like this one, he would never doubt he wanted to achieve great things with them.

That is probably what made it harder for him. This year they were competing not only for points and podiums but for something bigger, and after knowing what he is capable of, ending up in that position absolutely crushed him, and you hated to see him debating with himself. 

Once the weekend was finally over and you were leaving Italy, you wanted to make him feel better, telling him how great he was and how proud you were. You even shot some comments at McLaren for everything that went down, but he didn’t want to hear it; he barely wanted to talk about it, so you just dropped it. You understood him anyway, so you had to leave everything behind and just be supportive of your boyfriend.

You were hoping this weekend would be different, better, everyone was, and there was a lot of talking in the team that they would make the right decisions to keep fighting now that they had the chance. This, of course, would only mean something until they actually proved it during the race. 

Lando was in a better mood coming into this weekend; he trusted his team and he was confident they were backing him up. That was until the qualifying came. A yellow flag being pulled out by mistake during Q1 caused him to lose the opportunity to even put up a fight, and he ended up being P17. It wasn’t even his fault, but you knew he was beating himself up for that result. 

“Lando,” you called him right after he came back to the garage to watch the rest of the qualifying. He looked at you with a disappointed smile. “It’s not your fault, baby.”

“I know.” He pulled you into a hug, not wanting you to worry about him too much. “There’s nothing I could have done. We just have to wait and see what we can do tomorrow.”

“I’m sure you’ll do amazing,” you replied into his chest, rubbing small circles in his back to let him know you were there for him, no matter what. 

“We’ll see. The car felt okay, but it’s hard to overtake on this track. It’s quite a long straight.” He let out a nervous giggle as he pulled away; he didn’t sound as confident as you were hoping, but you knew he was right. “Some of it is just going to have to cross our fingers.”

There was no point in fighting him when he got like that, so you just nodded. “I’ll be crossing everything I have then.”

He went off with the rest of his team as you stayed back to watch the rest of the cars complete the qualifying. The air was starting to get tense again, and even though you knew everyone was nervous with Lando’s result, you weren’t sure if it was just your own feelings talking. But like Lando said, you were going to have to wait and see what the team could come up with, you were just hoping they would do the right thing.

Race day was finally here, and with Lewis starting from the pit lane due to a new power unit and Pierre being excluded due to fuel flow rate, Lando had been promoted to P15. Sure, it would have been better if Lando had the chance to fight for his starting position, but at least that was something. 

You could see he was still not completely confident in how the race would go, but you trusted enough for the both of you. 

Watching the race from the garage was something that always made you incredibly nervous, but especially in this position. But Lando managed to get to P12 by lap 2, and everyone was incredibly excited by his overtakes. 

As the race went on and he felt more confident with the car, he started to climb his way up to the top 10, trusting the team’s decisions with the strategy they were sticking to, and you were so glad everything was falling in place. 

The rest of the race still made you bite your nails at how nervous you were, but the bliss in the entire garage when he overtook someone was indescribable. He was driving the race of his life, and even the radios he exchanged with the team radiated that. As always, the last few laps were nervewracking, but the fact that he made it all the way to P6 and was even helping Oscar with his own race left everyone with a good taste. Not a complete terrible weekend after all. 

During the last lap, however, an unfortunate crash between Carlos and Checo pushed him to P4, meaning he gained 11 positions during the race; not that you ever doubted him, but seeing him end up there with the fastest lap after an absolute mess of the qualifying made you excited to see him. After confiming everyone was okay, you took the liberty to celebrate your boyfriend’s race.

Lando got out of the car and went to greet his team, cheers and smiles all over the place. Everyone was praising him for the incredible work he made, and his smile didn’t go away for a second the entire time. 

You knew you would still have to wait to congratulate him; he still had to do media before coming back to his room, where you were waiting for him, but seeing him so happy in the monitors made you grow impatient. 

It felt like it had been a while since you saw him so happy after a race.

After what felt like forever, you heard him come back to the garage. You stoop up from the small couch and opened the door, where you were greeded by your boyfriend. 

“Hey, you.” You said, closing the door behind him.

“Hi,” he replied, smile so big you could see his dimples.

“That was amazing, Lando. I knew you would do amazing, but I can’t even describe how proud I am.” 

He smiled even more at your words. He closed the distance between you when he took a few steps, wrapping you in his arms and kissing you deeply. You could even feel him smiling then, and that filled your heart.

“Thank you; it was a good day,” he said when he pulled away, looking down at you with loving eyes. “I think everything worked out.” You just nodded as you admired him.

“I missed you,” you whispered as you brushed a few curls that fell on his forehead.

“What do you mean? We’ve been together the last three weeks. You saw me just before the race." To say he was confused was an understatement, and you could see it in his face.

“I mean you, this. I missed seeing you so happy and smiley. Looks good on you.”

Lando was a bit embarrassed by your confession; he thought he did a better job at hiding how much the results affected him, at least to you. It was never his intention to be so down when he was with you, but man, was he endeared by your words. “I needed this,” was all he said, and you know he was right. And it wasn’t only him; you knew the team needed this as well.

“I know, and I know you hate to hear it, but I told you.”

He let out a laugh, not a nervous one this time. “Yes, you did,” he hugged you again, much tighter as he buried his face on the crook of your neck. “Thank you for being here and supporting me, even during my bad times.” He spoke with so much sincerity. 

“I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

[the-modern-typewriter]

Could you please do a villianxhero prompt?

They were on the same side. Sort of. Temporarily. Admittedly, it had been a temporary that had stretched on far longer than either of them had expected.

It had been nearly a year.

"I wouldn't," the hero said, as one of the villain's circle stood up to go find his absent leader in the study upstairs.

The villain's left-hand simply sneered at the hero before continuing on their way.

The hero sighed. They could feel a headache forming, but they moved to rise either way, with the celestial tug of everything they were.

"I wouldn't."

The hero glanced over at the villain's right-hand.

The right-hand smiled at them. "It serves him right. And it wouldn't do him bad to remember how much of a buffer you are when you're around."

"He'll get hurt."

"Then he should have listened to you, shouldn't he?"

Well, the hero didn't exactly have a good argument for that. While they'd learned to get on well with the villain's right hand, they still clashed frequently with the obnoxious and entirely too sycophantic left.

"Seriously," the right-hand said, softer. "It's not like you're planning to stop absorbing the worst of them any time soon, is it? Pick your battles."

"They're not that bad with me."

"You know how to handle them - better than anyone."

"Don't let them hear you say that."

The right-hand snorted.

They both looked up, towards the ceiling, towards the villain seething with setbacks out of view.

Something crashed.

"I'm not going to say 'I told you so,'" the hero said. "That feels mean."

"Don't worry." The right-hand sounded positively cheery. "I will."

The left-hand slunk back downstairs before they could respond, pale and shaken. It was, admittedly, a little satisfying. The villain was definitely a bad influence.

But, also, really. The villain telegraphed their moods fairly obviously and they'd got better at retreating when they felt inclined to be vicious. It wasn't a spoken boundary but it was a boundary to anyone paying attention.

It was possible that the hero paid too much attention. They just couldn't quite seem to stop.

"They told me to send you up," the left-hand muttered, with great resentment.

"Bold of them to assume you can send me anywhere."

"Please," the left-hand spat.

The hero grinned at them, before standing.

The right-hand's eyes gleamed, like they knew something that no one else had cottoned onto yet.

The hero shot them a two fingered salute, before they made their way upstairs. They rapped their knuckles against the door before entering.

"I've been summoned," the hero said, leaning against the door. "And you look like hell."

The villain scowled, dragged their hands through their hair.

The hero winked back at them.

The villain's glare intensified, but the tension slipped from their shoulders. "My head is killing me," the villain said. "I'm going to slaughter the next person who interrupts me."

The hero hummed, moving over to the sofa in the corner of the room. They flopped down, all casual like. The villain didn't even make a show of being casual or pretending to work for a minute more before they beelined over, all but shoving their face into the hero's neck.

The hero raised their eyebrows, surprised, then softened. The cupped the back of the villain's head, stroking through the dark locks. The villain melted against them. The hero felt something inside them ease too; a jungle cat finally settled and purring.

"It's disgusting that you're one of the few tolerable people left in the world," the villain said.

"Woe betide the minions. They try so hard."

"Don't take their side. You're mine."

The hero huffed, but didn't correct it, far too busy stifling a smile. Mine. It shouldn't have got to them like it did; there was a time when the word would have made them snarl with fury. They tucked their chin atop the villain's head. The connection between the two of them buzzed pleasantly.

They didn't ask if the villain wanted to talk about it. Inevitably, though, they did.

When the two of them wandered downstairs three hours later, the villain was themselves again.

"So," the right-hand asked, when the two of them were alone. "When's the wedding?"

[aperrywilliams]

Under the Rain (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)

(Not my gif. Credits to the creator!)

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Author Masterlist

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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader.

Summary: Reader is waiting for Spencer in a restaurant to celebrate their 2nd anniversary. What happens when Spencer doesn't show up?

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: Angst with a happy ending. Spencer fucked up but Reader loves him.

A/N: It's winter on this side of the world, and the rain makes me kind of sad.

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Is there anything worse than your boyfriend standing you up in a fancy restaurant on your 2nd anniversary? Yes, being stood up by your boyfriend in a fancy restaurant on your 2nd anniversary day while outside it’s raining cats and dogs.

That's worse. And pathetic.

You feel pathetic, sitting in that chair, all dolled up and waiting. You arrived at 19:30, and now your watch reads 20:45. No sight of Spencer.

What the fuck?

He was the one who suggested a romantic dinner in this very restaurant. He was the one who told you to make reservations. How could he forget it? You knew there wasn’t an active case. The very Penelope told you it was paperwork day when you texted her in the afternoon.

In the past hour, you dialed his number several times. You were worried at some point: what if something terrible happened to him? But you know bad news travels fast, so you assumed he didn’t show up just because he forgot. Deep down, you wanted there to be another explanation because if he only forgot, that would strengthen the idea of how little you mean to him.

Sensing the pitiful looks the hostess and the waitress sent you occasionally, you only wanted to dig a hole and disappear.

When the clock marked 21:00, you gave up. You asked the hostess for your coat and left the place completely silent.

The rain pouring outside was the perfect scenario for your current mood. You thought about calling a cab in front of the restaurant, but you only wanted to be far from that place as soon as possible, so you started to walk in the rain.

Goodbye to the stylish hairstyle that took you hours to achieve. Goodbye to the makeup you put so much effort into doing.

Striding along the sidewalk, you made sure to step on each water puddle you found along the way as you recalled every moment in the past months you felt Spencer away from you. And not only physically as when he was in a case. It was more than that. It was each morning he didn’t say I love you before leaving your shared apartment. It was each text he didn’t send telling you he was coming home or leaving for a case. It was each coffee you didn't share in the morning. It was each animated chat in the middle of the night you didn't have.

Were you being dramatic? You knew Spencer’s tendency to distract and engage in whatever his job could present him. In any other circumstances, you could have understood. Not tonight, though. Not when it was supposed to be your night together celebrating this milestone. The two years of love you thought were strengthening your relationship. How blind you have been. How naive.

You kept wandering on the streets with no destination. You didn’t want to come back to the apartment. You didn’t know where else to go either. So you kept walking.

-

Spencer Reid is a man with an eidetic memory. Everybody knows that. He can remember every piece of information people usually wouldn’t recall. He knows almost everything about anything. But even with his big brain, he sometimes has trouble keeping track of his own life. Like today.

Engrossed in a pile of manila folders from old cases, he lost time. A task meant to take just an hour or so kept him occupied and entertained for almost four hours. Emily’s voice was the only thing that brought him back from those files to reality.

“You still here?” Emily asked with a frown. Spencer looked at her oddly.

“Yeah. I was looking for patterns in our last cases in the northwest. What Tara said about the mixed murder weapons sounded familiar to me,” he explained before rubbing his eyes. He didn't notice how tired he felt until Emily interrupted him.

“Spencer, it’s almost 10 pm. And there is no active case. You can resume this tomorrow. I even thought you had plans today?”

‘10 pm’ and ‘plans today’ was enough to bring Spencer to realization.

“Fuck!” He yelped, jumping from his seat and freezing immediately, not knowing what to do.

“What?” Emily asked, seeing the panic in Spencer’s eyes.

“Shit. Shit. Shit,” he repeated over and over as he reached for his phone in his satchel.

“What is it, Reid?”

“Emily. I was supposed to be in a restaurant with (Y/N) tonight! It’s - uh - it’s our second anniversary,” he, visibly embarrassed, finished the sentence.

Emily shut her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Reid? How on earth do you forget something like that?”

“I don’t know! I - I don’t really know. Fuck. I’m an asshole!” He checked the phone: twenty missing calls. Why he left it on mute?

“Stop complaining and do something! Come on! Move your ass out of here if you want a chance of not being precisely kicked in the ass by her,” Emily instructed. She knew Spencer needed directions when he was freaking out.

Spencer rechecked his watch. It read 10:05 pm.

Swearing under his breath, he dialed your number, which went straight to voicemail. Putting his coat on, he tried again while rushing to the elevator. Maybe you were still at the restaurant? Getting in the first cab he found, Spencer headed there.

Once he arrived, he asked the hostess about you. The girl told him you left after 9 pm.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

He called you again with no success. This time you turned off your phone. Spencer’s stomach was a knot, and his heart hurt imagining you sitting alone, waiting for him.

Were you at home? Spencer guessed you wouldn't want to see him, so it was less probable. Should he go there anyway and wait for you? No. You deserved better than that. He would look for you even if it could take all night. Taking a cab, he decided to check the apartment - just in case - and grab his car keys.

As expected, you weren’t in the apartment. Spencer faced the darkness and coldness of the place, and a chill ran down his spine—the fear of losing you forever.

In the car, he thought, where you could be. It was still raining, and Spencer feared you were getting soaked and frozen, God knows where.

It was at this kind of moment Spencer wanted his eidetic memory, and all the knowledge in his brain could help to compensate for the dose of common sense he lacked.

‘Come on, Spencer. Think. For once in your life, do it for what is really important for you.’

-

Spencer parked and rushed out of the car, hoping his hunch was correct. He was in a park. Not any park, though. It was where he met you three years ago—where his life changed forever and for the better for once.

You were in a swing, moving softly back and forth, your feet touching the ground. Your eyes focused on the rain collecting in the nook you created with your feet in the mud.

“(Y/N)!” Spencer called once he spotted you. The rain muffled the sound of his voice.

Your eyes didn’t leave the ground. At first, you thought you were imagining things. It could have been wishful thinking that your boyfriend really cared about you. He called again, and now your brain obliged your eyes to look toward the voice’s source.

Spencer was in a corner where the park's playground began. He was looking at you and wanted to run to you, but the fear you could run away made him stay there, as the rain dampened him.

The sight of you broke him. You were utterly soaked. Your coat and lovely black dress were ruined, and your face with traces of smeared makeup. He could even spot your bloodshot eyes, swollen from crying.

He caused that. And Spencer hated himself for it.

Seeing you didn't say anything, barely acknowledging his presence, Spencer dared to take some steps forward. Your numb body didn't even flinch.

“(Y/N). I’m sorry,” were his first words. Expectable but useless for you. “I fucked it up. I’m sorry. I should have been there. I wanted to be there with you,” he apologized, giving a few steps closer to you. Not looking at him, you mumbled.

“But you weren’t. And if you really wanted to have been there, you would have.” Your voice was low and husky. You sounded tired and defeated. It was worse for Spencer. For him, you should be yelling. Telling him how hurting you were. How an asshole he was.

“Baby, there is no excuse for what I did. The last thing I want in my life is to hurt you. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Spencer’s voice broke with each word.

What had he done? Why? How can he be so stupid? He loves you. You’re the most important person in his life, so why did he do that to you? How can he fix it?

Still not looking at him, you spoke again.

“I can’t understand, Spencer. It was our anniversary. You were the one who suggested doing it,” you remind him. He nodded, kneeling in front of you. It didn’t matter the mud, and it didn’t matter the rain still falling. Spencer needed to look at your eyes to explain himself.

“I’m an idiot. I lost track of time and forgot,” he mumbled. You held up your head and finally looked at him.

“You forgot? So it's true I’m not that important to you,” you concluded sadly. Spencer’s eyes widened.

“No! Don’t say that!” he pleaded.

“Am I wrong? I don’t think so.” Your chin wobbled, but you needed to say it. “I know your job is important, Spencer. I do. And I never wanted to compete with that because I thought I didn’t have to. But after these past months, I think I need to get used to the idea I lost you already,” you acknowledged with a pained sob betraying you. It was the pang of the meaning behind your own words.

The memories of the past months flashed before Spencer's eyes. And there he saw it. The kisses he didn't give you, the 'I love you' he didn't tell you. The nights he didn't sleep by your side—all the things he has been missing.

He realized that although he never doubted his love for you, he stopped nurturing it and took it for granted.

Crying, he took your hands, and by divine grace, you didn't push him away.

No words he could say would be enough to convey how sorry he was. But he needed to try because he didn’t want to lose you. You needed to know he loved you and that you owned his heart. You needed to know he just realized he made a mistake, and he wants to fix it.

“The first time I saw you in this very place, you were slowly swaying in this exact spot with your eyes focused on the book in your hands. I was so mesmerized that I never thought I would get the nerve to talk to you, you know? But I did. And when I saw the warm look you gave me when I asked you if you had read the author's biography, I felt my heart warming as never before. And when I heard your laugh after I clumsily tried to flirt with you? I swear it was the sound I wanted to hear for the rest of my life,” Spencer confessed, eyes sparkling at the memory. You fondly recalled it too. You never liked to talk with strangers all of a sudden, but with Spencer? It felt natural and right.

“You let me in in your life. You opened your heart to me and taught me how to do that too. You realized I’m not the best student in those matters, though,” he chuckled, seeing your nod.

“Despite that, you believed in me. You gave me a chance to love you, and I swear loving you has been the most natural thing that has ever happened to me. You have made me so happy (Y/N). You have no idea. And that is the problem. I have not known how to love you the way you deserve. I hadn't realized what I was doing. I'm sorry. I spent much of my life fending alone, not walking with anyone by my side. And I know that does not excuse my behavior. Even so, I dare to ask for an opportunity to prove you do not have to compete with my job. Give me a chance to prove to you I can be better. I can be the man who deserves your love. Please let me gain back your love and the privilege to hear you laugh again."

Spencer was almost out of breath when he was done speaking. You mulled in his words as his hands enveloped yours, patiently awaiting your response. Would you give him a chance?

As the rain continued pouring down, your eyes focused on him, still kneeling before you with hopeful eyes.

You know he loves you. Even if he needs to be better at proving it to you. And you love him even if you feel hurt for what he did. You both would have to work to make it work. You both deserved the chance, though.

The answer to his question was clear then.

You hopped off the swing and kneeled, not releasing his hands grasp and pulling him to catch his lips with yours. He kissed you back with everything he had. When both parted, you smiled at him, and Spencer was trying to figure out what that meant. You spoke to make it clear.

“Please, just don't make me regret being in this same place three years ago.”

Spencer earnestly shook his head.

“I won’t. I promise,” he told you before kissing you again under the rain.

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[pinkyqil]

R is very very shy and a little awkward, a couple of years younger than Ingrid and not famous, they've been seeing each other for a couple of months and she's been to a couple of games supporting Ingrid. The fans and the media all try to know who she is, crossing her privacy ecc and start to say very mean things to her so she start to pull away cause she's sad and think that Ingrid can have someone much better but Ingrid confort her cause she only wants her

I want you and you only // Ingrid engen

You and Ingrid had been dating for a couple of months now despite the three year age gap you both had going on. She loved you loved her that all that matters.

Ingrid always wanted to come wacht a few of the games oblivious and to support her. but due to timid and shy personality she understands and didn't push your buttons about it anymore.

You being you not wanting to feel like you disappoint her started going to the machetes even though sometimes you felt overwhelmed.

A few fans started noticing you're interaction digging in to recorde any sweet moments they could catch and post it on various platforms. The media trying to see if you had any celebrity status.

Ingrid had noticed the sudden attraction you both got from the public and told you to keep it on the for your own behalf but you took that too heart thinking that she was pushing you away and didn't want people to know about you.

You continued visiting Ingrid and supporting the team which lead to more media abuse.like fans finding out your private account and send you hateful messages saying Ingrid deserves better than you targeting your looks weight and everything they could critique about you.

You stopped coming to the games and kept rescheduling dates with her where you bearly showed up.

Slowly you started wondering if you were good enough for her.you already got the memo from people you weren't good for her or anyone.

tonight you planned on breaking up with her she had invited you over and you couldn't ignore your girlfriend soon to be ex.

Ingrid on the other hand had been very worried about you. Especially when she saw how the past few days you had declined her she was very worried after seeing things being said about you.

Arriving at Ingrid places you felt really nervous you were about to break up with the woman you loved the most.

Taking a deep breath before knocking on her door.

The door had opened with a worried looking Ingrid.she had immediately pulled you into a hug and kisses all over you face.

Oh lord how we're you supposed to break up with her you thought.

"Baby I was worried you stopped answering my text the last few days-". She tried to finish but got cut of by you.

"Let break". You told her with a cold stone face.

"What why did I do anything wrong".

"No you did nothing wrong it me I'm the problem you deserve better than me". You told her.

"What do you mean you're amazing please tell me your aren't listening to what people say".

"It not only that Ingrid you pushed me away when I tried to be there for you".

"Baby no I didn't mean it that why I just said it so you don't feel pressured I love you please don't leave me. She told you with tears flowing from her face.

You couldn't believe yourself for believing all that you had an amazing woman in front of you why would you try to ruin it.

"I'm sorry baby I just don't understand why everyone just seems to have something to say about me". you told her now crying.

"I love you and you'll always be enough to me". she told you

"Love to too".you said before grabbing her face and kiss her.

Ingrid_engen&Yourusername

Love you always and forever liked by alexiaputellas,onabatlle,lucybronze and 20,66 others

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© PINKYQIL

A/n: hope you like this and it reaches your standardsfeedback are appreciated and feel free to send in more or just chat in

[ts1m1kas]

Original Ask: hi! God bless! could you do a fic where's reader has been bullied in childhood/teenage years and one day she appears dating Jude and people are shocked and Jude's like, how could you be mean to her?? Ty 💗 (anonymous)

Word Count: 737 words

(author's note: keep sending requests in as they are still open, i hope you all enjoy this fic 🫶🏻 i kinda hate this, but oh well 🥲)

To Jude, Y/N was the most beautiful girl he had ever met. He would proclaim his love for Y/N from the rooftops if he had it his way. However, Y/N’s own insecurities meant she asked Jude to keep their relationship private. He respected her wishes, keeping their love for each other behind closed doors.

Throughout her high school years, Y/N’s life had been made miserable by the individuals at her school. Insults, taunts, and jeers ruled her life, blossoming into deep-rooted self-hatred. These painful memories led to Y/N hiding that part of herself from not only Jude but also her friends she had met once she grew up.

There wasn’t a day that went by where Y/N didn’t feel unhappy with how she looked, or how she sounded, or how she laughed. And she didn’t mention it to Jude once. She didn’t want to trouble her boyfriend with her ‘silly’ insecurities.

Eventually, Jude began to question why Y/N didn’t want to make their relationship public. Did she not think he was good enough for her? After having Y/N refuse his invite to one of his matches yet again, he knew it was time to confront her.

Y/N stood at the kitchen counter, preparing the ingredients for her and Jude’s lunch. She hummed quietly to herself, which masked the sound of Jude walking down the hallway.

“Y/N?” Jude said, finally making his way into the kitchen.

“Yeah, you okay?” She questioned in response.

“Are you ashamed to be seen with me?”

Y/N laughed nervously, “What do you mean? What makes you say that?”

“Well you’ve insisted on keeping our relationship private for the past 2 years, so I must be doing something wrong.”

“No, Jude, you know I just like being private.”

Jude shook his head and sighed, “I just don’t believe you anymore. It feels like you’re embarrassed.”

Tears began to form in Y/N’s eyes. She knew it was silly to cry, and she knew she should just tell Jude why she was so persistent on staying out of the spotlight. But she simply couldn’t.

When Jude spotted the tears falling down Y/N’s face, he walked over to her and pulled her into his arms. He gently rubbed his hand along her back, soothing her as she sobbed into his chest. What started as silent tears had turned into violent sobs.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that something much deeper was affecting Y/N, and it hurt Jude’s heart to see his girlfriend fall apart in his arms. He also felt guilty that he hadn’t spotted she was hurting before now.

He slowly guided her over to the sofa and sat her down. Y/N stayed curled into Jude’s chest, too ashamed to face him. After a while, she moved to sit up and wiped her face with her sleeve.

“Are you gonna tell me what’s going on?” Jude enquired, careful not to upset his girlfriend further.

Y/N took a deep breath, “I used to get bullied. A lot. I know it sounds dumb but it really affected me and still does to this day. I just feel like it's all gonna happen all over again if we go public. Especially since I'm not a perfect model with loads of Instagram followers.”

“Oh baby, why didn’t you just tell me? I would’ve understood you have nothing to worry about. I want nothing more than to show my beautiful girlfriend off. People are always going to have something to say, I just want the world to know you’re mine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I promise, if anyone has a problem I’ll block them, simple as that.”

Y/N enveloped her boyfriend in a tight hug, words of appreciation spilling from her mouth. Jude hugged her back, grateful to know what had been bothering her for so long.

“Does this mean I can post you?” Jude asked eagerly, smiling down at Y/N.

She nodded, “I’m sorry for keeping all this from you.”

“It’s fine, we all have things we want to keep secret.”

Y/N stood up and moved back over to the kitchen to finish the meal she had started. Jude pulled out his phone and selected a photo of the couple. 

He pulled up Instagram on his phone and posted the photo, paired with the caption;

‘My one and only.’

[trashywormeateroffics]

the great war (bucky barnes x female reader)

the gif is not mine!

summary: you get jealous and have a fight with bucky. inspired by the great war by taylor swift.

a/n: hey anon!!! sorry it took so long. i have no excuse. anyways, i hope you enjoy this!!! <333 also i am once again asking u to send me requests with marvel characters (natasha/bucky/loki) and taylor swift songs so i can write a one shot about it !!!! bye love u

masterlist

\\\\

you don't know how it all happened. one second, everything was perfect. the next, you were acting like a crazy person and saying horrible and hurtful things. and now you're pretty sure you've officially lost him forever.

\\\\

it all started with her. agent carpenter. pretty, blue eyed blonde, flirty, perfect agent carpenter.

“alright everyone,” tony begins and the people in the meeting fall into silence. “as you all know, a new member is joining us on the avengers initiative.” they all nod, including you. “her name is samara carpenter and she was personally recruited by fury. which means she's very good at what she does.” the billionaire looks at steve and he nods, taking the lead.

“alright, i want you all to be nice and welcoming. especially you buck.” he says, making most of the people there snort. you look at him.

“what did i do now?” bucky asks, incredulous.

“nothing yet, but if you just stare at her and don't greet her like a normal person she'll leave this team as fast as she came.” sam tells him. the grumpy super soldier rolls his eyes.

“whatever, bird-brain.”

steve shakes his head in disapproval of the two bickering idiots but soon enough he's back on track with the presentation.

bucky's rough gaze scans the room until it falls on you. his eyes soften when he sees that you are already looking at him. you give him a soft and playful smile, which he returns.

after the meeting is done and everyone is dismissed, you head to your room.

not five seconds pass until someone knocks on the door. you smile, because you know who it is.

“come in!” you sing-song.

when he enters, you can't help but stare at him. you've been together for a year now but you still couldn't believe that he was yours. he was so beautiful, so funny, so kind, so dumb sometimes, just so… him. you loved him so much. yet you still hadn't said it. you were trying to take things slow, for both of your sakes.

“hey.” you tell him as he closes the door behind him. he has a look on his face which you recognize. something's bothering him.

“c'mere.” you pat the spot next to you on the bed.

he wastes no time in dropping himself unceremoniously on the mattress and letting out a sigh.

you begin to run your hands through his hair.

“d'you think i'm scary?” he asks with a pout adorning his beautiful pink lips. god, you want to kiss him so badly. so that's what you do. you peck his lips and then immediately shake your head with a smile.

“do you think that adorable pout could be scary?” he purses his lips to stop himself from smiling, but still, a small smile plays on his lips.

“y/n, i'm being serious.” he sighs. you do too.

“maybe to some people you could be. not to me though.”

“but when you first met me-”

“i was too busy thinking about how hot you were to worry about you being scary.” he laughs. god, how you love that sound. you would ridicule yourself to hear it. “is this about what steve and sam said?”

he shrugs.

“i just… hate that i'm so socially inadequate.”

you hand in his hair stops. he furrows his brows.

“bucky,” you begin, “we are a bunch of weirdos, all of us. there is not one person on this team who is socially adequate.”

“but at least the others can fake it, you can fake it.”

“you know what my favorite thing about you was when we first started to become friends?” you ask and he shakes his head. “that your face said it all. if you weren't in the mood for something, i could tell from a mile away, and in return, if something excited you, it would be contagious.” you caress his cheek and he leans into your touch. “and when i couldn't pretend, i always knew you were there to just sit in silence with me. no expectations to be socially acceptable.”

“i don't know how you do it.” he sighs. you frown.

“do what?”

“make every bad thing about me sound so… good.”

your frown deepens.

“hey.” you straddle him and grab his face in between both your hands. “you are perfect. just like you are. don't you dare change yourself.” you tell him firmly. then you purse your lips. “unless you totally want to for whatever reason and i would totally support you because-” you suddenly fall silent. he looks at you, expectant for you to finish your sentence. “because you know i'm here for you, no matter what.”

he smiles softly.

“i know, doll. me too, i'm always here for you no matter what.” you purse your lips to stop yourself from spilling your heart out of your mouth as you caress his cheekbone with your thumb.

“how about we watch a movie? you can pick.”

he pecks your lips and nods.

you spend what is left of the day watching movies and cuddling.

\\\\

two days after that meeting, she arrives. you're all hanging around the common kitchen when steve appears with someone trailing behind him.

“everyone, this is agent carpenter.”

“please, call me samara. or sammie even.”

“sammie, nice to meet you.” sam is the first one to greet her. “i'm sam wilson, but the coolest avenger is fine too.”

you shake your head and roll your eyes. then, you take a step forward, but before you can introduce yourself and welcome her to the team, you see her eyes flicking over to something right next to you. or someone. her eyes shine with curiosity and attraction.

“hi, nice to meet you.” she smirks. you swallow slowly.

bucky gives her a nod, but then he seems to remember what steve and sam told him and attempts to give her a smile.

“hi, i'm bucky.”

“bucky,” she repeats slowly, almost tasting the name in her mouth. she's about to say something else but before she can, you speak up.

“i'm y/n. welcome to the team.” you smile as honestly as you possibly can, but dread fills your stomach.

“hi!” she smiles at you. “you're so pretty, oh my god!”

you give her a tight smile.

“thank you.”

“of course!”

the rest of the team introduces themselves, even though she insists she already knows almost all of them and then you all go about your day.

\\\\

it had been a month since she arrived at the compound. you had seen her a few times, mostly during training. but you didn’t particularly go out of your way to talk to her. there was something you didn’t like. maybe it was your intuition, or maybe it was the fact that she did seem to go out of her way to talk to your boyfriend. and he did not seem upset by that, the opposite actually. he seemed to enjoy it.

you were not a jealous person, least of all with bucky. but something about her irked you. something about her made you doubt yourself and everything you believed in.

“i like her,” natasha says while she paints her nails, laying on her stomach on your bed.

wanda hums in agreement while she flips through the pages of a beauty magazine. you don’t say anything.

“what about you, y/n?”

“um, yeah.” you try to give them a convincing smile but based on the looks they give you, you do not succeed.

“okay, spill the tea.” wanda tells you. had she been learning internet lingo?

you sigh.

“i just- i don’t know.” you shake your head. “doesn’t something feel off to you?”

“not really.” wanda says as natasha narrows her eyes.

“you’re jealous.” she finally decrees.

“i’m not.” you respond defensively.

“you’re jealous that she seems to be getting along with barnes.”

“i-“ you begin your sentence with the intention of uttering a lie, but it dies right on your tongue. “i am. but i don’t want to be.” you confess.

“explain yourself.” she tells you in a tone that could sound commanding and harsh to someone else, but you know it’s filled with care. she’s your best friend, she would never hurt you on purpose. so is wanda, who looks at you with a knowing look you can’t seem to pinpoint the reason for.

“i just- i don’t know. he’s never like that with anyone. since when is he the type to joke around with someone?” you shake your head. “i’m an asshole, cause i should be happy for him. he’s putting himself out there. but i can’t. i’m jealous. so cliche.” you huff.

“you’re not an asshole. an asshole would make a whole scene, give him an ultimatum or something like that. you’re just expressing your feelings to your friends.”

“and, y/n, we all have those ugly feelings. they are human.” wanda tells you, softly. “you should talk to him about it.”

“what if he gets mad?”

“y/n, please. that man adores you, he could never get mad at you. least of all for this.”

maybe they’re right. maybe that’s the healthiest thing to do. and even as you agree with them, you know you will not talk to him about this. because he will realize that you’re right, and that there is so much more to the world than just… you.

\\\\

“come on! you just have to put it in the oven!”

you hear her before you see her. you weren’t expecting to see him though.

right there, almost as if mocking you, they stand. cooking together. he looks so comfortable around her.

they seem to be wrapped up in their own little bubble, so you clear your throat. immediately, they turn to look at you. he widens his eyes, almost looking guilty.

“james found me and i asked him to join me.” she explains, but you stop paying attention the moment she says his name. she called him james.

“james?” you narrow your eyes in question.

he seems to want to say something because he opens his mouth like a fish out of water but you leave mumbling an excuse about training with nat before he can utter a word.

back in your room, you fall to the floor and break down. you knew she was trouble the moment she walked in, but you weren’t expecting this to happen so soon.

heartbroken, you get up from where you’re sitting and head to your bathroom.

the girl in the mirror looks defeated, but you feel angry. if he didn't need you anymore, then you didn’t need him either.

\\\\

the days after that, you ignore him, always having an excuse at the tip of your tongue to not hang out with him. he doesn’t seem to care that much. until, you suppose, after three days, he begins caring.

“doll, can we talk?”

“hm?” you play dumb. you encountered each other in the common kitchen. that damned place, you hated it now, but you were hungry.

“i asked you if we can talk. you seem… distant.” his brows are furrowed. you only know that because you turned to look at him only for a second. other than that, your gaze doesn’t meet his. “come on, y/n, i know something’s wrong.”

you look at him and smile sarcastically.

“you do?”

“yes. please, let’s ta-“

“hey guys!” you roll your eyes at her voice.

“have fun you two!” you tell them, smiling venomously, only looking at him before you leave.

“is everything okay?” she asks.

“i’m sorry samara, i can’t talk right now.” you hear him say before you hear his footsteps getting closer to you in the hallway.

“y/n!” he calls out to you when you get into the elevator without looking behind you. before the doors can close, you see his metal arm get in between them. he gets in and they close. once they do, he hits the stop button. then, he turns to you. he frows when he sees the hate in your eyes. “y/n, what is going on?”

you scoff.

“fuck off, james.” you tell him, your voice full of venom. he widens his eyes in surprise before narrowing them.

“oh, so that’s it? you’re jealous and that’s why you’re avoiding me and acting crazy now?”

“i’m not jealous, but i’m not blind either.” you clench your jaw. “and don’t call me crazy.”

“you are blind if you think something’s going on with her.” he tells you. you roll your eyes and then tilt your head.

“when was the last time you let someone call you james? when was the last time you cooked with someone who was not steve?” he begins breathing heavily. you laugh and bite your lip incredulously. “i think you took the whole being friendly thing too serious.”

“i can't believe you right now.” he shakes his head. “you're angry because i'm not being an asshole to her?”

you scoff.

“oh, please, james.” he clenches his jaw.

“stop calling me that.”

“oh, so i can't call you that but she can?”

“you know that's not-”

“you know what? go ahead. let her call you james. fuck her in the middle of the common room for all i care. lets see how long she puts up with you.” you regret the words as soon as they leave your mouth but its too late, a deep hurt covers his face. still, you can't stop. you're too hurt, too scared. too goddamn stupid. “you think she's going to console you while you have your nightmares?” you laugh venomously. “you think she's going to accept you, all of you?” as you keep talking, his expression turns from pained to angry. resentful even.

he turns to the panel control of the elevator and pushes the stop button so the elevator will move again.

“you know what?” he glances at you and you're almost taken aback by the distant look in his eyes. “maybe i'll fuck her. maybe i'll even date her too. she's probably not as desperate and clingy as you.”

“fuck you.” you spit out.

the doors open, he steps outside. before he leaves, he turns to look at you.

“yeah, you too.”

after the doors close again, you fall to the floor and let out a heart-wrenching sob. you never thought it would end like this.

\\\\

four days. four fucking, horrible, long days bucky has been gone from the compound. you try to ask steve about it, because you know he knows where he is, but he won't tell you. even though you two are close friends and he never got in the middle of a fight between you two– even though you two never fought– he seemed angry. at you. you didn't know if he knew the reason for the fight, but he knew you were in the wrong, that much you knew.

these days all you do is cry, sleep, eat and repeat. you're way past heartbroken, you're miserable, inconsolable. it's all your fault. this prison of sadness was your own making.

you miss him. god, you miss him. you wonder how he is. did he already fuck someone else? did he regret ever being with you?

you don't dare text or call him. you're too embarrassed. you acted like a crazy person, and said awful, horrific things. and you're pretty sure he'll never forgive you. but what will you do then? how will you build a life without him? oh god, you're crying again. great, just great, you think as you turn around in your bed. who were you without him?

\\\\

its the sixth day of his absence when you go talk to steve. you drag yourself from your bed, with your swollen and red rimmed eyes and knock on his door.

“y/n…” he tells you, pity dripping from his tone.

“hey…” you try to give him a fake smile, but as soon as the corners of your mouth move, they turn downwards into a frown, and you start crying. sobbing really. inconsolable sobs leave you as steve wraps you up in his arms.

“hey, hey, it's okay.”

“no, it's not! i hurt him! i don't know why i did it, but i did!” you sob.

“hey,” he pulls away from you a bit to look you in the eyes, “come in. come on, come on.” he tells you as you slowly make your way inside.

you sit down on the edge of his bed and he sits down next to you.

“steve, is he- is he okay?”

he looks at you. you know him, so you know that that look means he isn't.

“he's safe though.”

“i really messed up.”

“i know.”

“he told you?”

“he didn't need to. i saw it on camera. wanted to know why the elevator stopped working for a while.”

you put your head in your hands and begin sobbing again.

“oh my god.” you sob. “i-i'm so sorry you had to see that. i dont… i dont know what-” a hiccup escapes you. “i can't-” another hiccup. “oh god…” your shoulders shake as you sob into your hands.

“hey…” he draws comforting circles on your back, but nothing can comfort you. not when he's hurt and hates you and it's all your fault. “hey.”

“steve, how can i fix it? can i even-” hiccup, “can i even fix it?”

he looks at you with pity.

“i don't know, y/n. i think he's gonna need some time.”

“oh my god.” you say. steve had always rooted for you two, so if he's saying it can't be fixed it really means it can't. “i'm going to die.”

“you're not going to die.”

“i can't live without him. i can't.” you shake your head frantically. “please, just tell me where he is. i need to-”

“i dont think it's a good idea.” he tells you sympathetically.

“please,” you beg him, “please, i need to- if it ends…” more tears fall from your eyes. “it can't end like that. please. he deserves more than that.”

he looks at you, seemingly pondering what you're saying. you look at him the whole time, pleading. he sighs. he's going to tell you.

\\\\

you look at the old building that seems to be deteriorating with each passing second. you straighten down your clothes (steve insisted you get properly showered and dressed) and take a deep breath. he's staying at a safe house in brooklyn. of course. it was so predictable and so him, you almost decided to leave. maybe you should let it end how it ended. what if this time it was worse? but you didn't have the luxury to think like that. it was over, but you needed him to remember you as the good times you shared, not that damned last time.

you enter the building and go up the stairs to the seventh floor, since there is no elevator.

when you reach his door, a green one who looked like if you blew on it it would fall down, you freeze. what are you even supposed to say to him? hi, bucky, sorry i told you she wouldn't be able to put up with you, insinuating that you are hard to love, hope everythings okay between us! ugh, you wanted the earth to swallow you whole.

you take another deep, slow breath, because you know otherwise he'll be able to hear you. then, you knock two times.

when the door opens he takes your breath away. this time not because he's gorgeous but because you're so scared that you fear you're going to pass out.

“what do you want?” he asks harshly. you feel tears prick your eyes but you blink them away.

“hear me out, please.”

“no, thank you.” he goes to close the door, but you swiftly get inside before he does. he slams the door behind him when he turns around to look at you, now inside the apartment, looking uncomfortable and out of place. “i told you i didn't want to hear you out.”

“just-”

“leave.”

“one second-”

“leave, y/n.”

“bucky-”

“oh, so now i'm bucky?” your lip wobbles.

“you're always bucky.”

“not last time we talked.”

“that's why i'm here.” he lifts his chin, looking at you with so much indifference you wonder if he ever looked at you with love in his eyes.

“i don't care to hear you explain yourself.” a tear escapes your eye. you dry it with your sleeve harshly. his face seems to soften for a second but then it goes back to its harshness.

“i'm not here- i'm not here to explain myself.” he looks at you.

“why are you here then?” you sigh.

“remember that time you took me to feed the ducks on that park?”

“yes. so?”

you smile softly as tears fall down your face.

“that was the time i told you i wanted to be your girlfriend. no one ever took me to such a silly date.” you chuckle softly. then you frown in pain looking at the floor now. he shifts his weight from one feet to the other, impatient.

“what's your point?”

“that's how i'd like you to remember me.”

“what?” you look at him. he's frowning.

“i know that the last time we talked i was… crazy. i just- i know theres no going back, but id like, for the sake of what we had, for you to not remember me like that.” you tell him. “because we were more than that.” the last word comes out broken to give way to a silent sob. you try to compose yourself. “I'm sorry. don't pay attention to that.” you give him a fake smile, which you know he can see right through.

“y/n-”

“okay, i'll leave. but… come back to the compound. i'll move out if you want me to, just, don't stay away from your friends just because of me.” you go to leave, walking past him, when he grabs your arm. when you turn around there are unshed tears in his eyes.

“i don't care about the compound. or about remembering you.” oh. you widen your eyes and heavy tears leave them.

“okay, i'm- i'm sorry for suggesting-”

“no.” you nod, understanding. “no, no.” he repeats. he grabs you by the shoulders and he crouches so he's eye level with you. “i don't want to have to remember you.”

you frown.

“but, bucky-”

“but i probably should.” he cuts you off.

“yeah,” you laugh humorlessly as you cry. “you should. i'm sorry. i never should've come here. i'm sorry.”

“stop saying sorry and explain to me what the hell happened.” you tilt your head.

“i… i got jealous.”

“that's it? that's why you hurt me?” he asks. you look down. this was it. he was giving you a chance. explain yourself like you never have before, you think to yourself.

“i never got why you were with me-”

“stop saying were. this could end today, but as of now, were still together.” you purse your lips. “hey, hey, its okay.” he says softly as he puts his hands on your cheeks and wipes the tears that begin falling again with his thumbs.

“im sorry-” he looks at you pointedly. you nod. “i just… i don't understand why you're with me. im not- im nothing like you.” you begin. he frowns. “you are kind and thoughtful and amazing and im- im not good like you.”

“what? y/n, you're the best person i know.”

“you can't still think that.” he looks at you honestly. he does? “see? you're so- and i'm so…”

“lets sit down.” he tells you and you both do, on the old couch thats near the window. he gestures for you to continue.

“i just- you'll never get it. and thank god you won't. but im not- im not a natural, you know? not like you, not like her.” you fidget with your hands. “you guys, the team, you like me because i'm fake. you wouldn't if you knew the real me. but i showed it to you pretty easily, i guess.” you laugh without a trace of humor. he frowns. then, he grabs your hand and caresses your knuckles. bucky takes a deep breath before speaking.

“y/n, i like- no, scratch that. i love you because i know you.” your face contorts in pain. you start crying heavily again. “hey, hey, come on baby, talk to me.”

“i just… she's so… perfect. for everyone, for you.”

“i don't want her, i want you.”

“you cant want me after what i said to you. i hurt you and i'll never forgive myself for that.”

“yes, you hurt me. but you were hurt too, i just didn't see it.”

“im so scared you'll wake up one day and realize there is so much more to the world than… me.” you sob and cover your face with your hands.

bucky pulls your hands away from you face and pulls you into his lap.

“listen to me.” he tells you firmly. “there is nothing more to the world than you. you are it for me, y/n. i love you.”

“bucky-” you hiccup. “i'm so sorry i said that about you. i promise you i just said it to you because i- i was lashing out. anyone would accept and love you, you are literally the most amazing-” hiccup, “person-” hiccup, “in the universe.”

he smiles softly at you and the unshed tears come back, but this time, he lets them fall.

“baby, listen to me. i love you. i'm not going anywhere.” you open your mouth to speak but he beats you to it. “and i forgive you. i promise you i don't resent you. i know what it's like to lash out when you're hurt.”

“bucky-” you sob against his chest.

“shh, baby, its okay.” he soothes you, rubbing comforting circles on your back. “it's okay, i got you.”

you take a shuddering breath and lift your head from his chest to look at him. you grab his face with both your hands.

“i promise you i'll never lash out again. im so sorry. i-” he gives you a pointed look. “i know. im not saying sorry anymore. sor-” you purse you lips and he lets out a laugh. then, he shakes his head incredulous and looks at you with so much adoration in his eyes you feel like you're going to pass out from all the love you feel for this man. “can i kiss you?” you ask him shyly.

“please.”

and so you do. the kiss is soft, vulnerable, you're telling him how sorry you are, how much you love him, and thats when you remember you didn't say it.

he whines when you pull away, something that makes you smile.

“bucky,”

“yeah, baby?”

“i love you. so much i feel like i'm going to throw up.” he lets out a loud laugh.

“i love you more, doll.”

you spend the rest of the day cuddled up on that couch in that old apartment, not ready to go to the compound yet. but you do send a text to steve before turning off your phone to spend time with the love of your life. you almost lost him, but you didn't, and as you lay in that old mattress on the floor, while he makes love to you and whispers of words of adoration and devotion fill your ears, you vow to him one thing. you'll always be his.

[crushpunky]

actress!reader and drew go public

masterlist | actress!reader masterlist

this takes place early 2021 from actress!reader and drew’s timeline here

The two of them had been going steady for nearly a year, spending nights in their shared apartment (and now shared bedroom) or on set for OBX season two, surrounded by the cast they’ve grown to consider family. Even if they couldn’t go out and have date nights at fancy restaurants or lively clubs, the two of them didn’t mind as long as they had each other.

“What are you thinking about?” Drew asked, his fingers brushing slowly through y/n’s hair as she rested her head in his lap. She peered up at him, the soft blue of his eyes looking down at her softly.

“I’m so happy, Drew.” Y/n whispered, her lips drifting into a smile. Things were so strange right now, the world slowly beginning to return to a new normal, but still she felt a comfortability despite this change. She had something she had never had before: Drew. Next to her every morning, invading her every thought, she had Drew, and she couldn’t be happier… but with the way things were changing, could that change too?

“Me too, baby.” Drew smiled back, pressing a kiss to the tip of y/n’s nose. She scrunched her face, her cheeks heating up as Drew straightened back up, his gaze still locked on her.

“I’m so happy, but what are we going to do?” Y/n said, playing with her hands in her lap nervously. “I mean, things are opening up, people are going to… notice.”

“What do you mean?” Drew asked, tilting his head and drawing his brows together. Her head was beginning to wander, wandering to thoughts of people talking, rumors, drama…

“I mean… we’ll have to tell people eventually. About us.” Y/n whispered, swallowing harshly as her eyes scanned over Drew’s face. He looked away from her for a second, taking a deep breath as he bit his lip, his own mind beginning to swim with questions. He had worried about how things could change between them when their relationship was no longer just between them and the people closest to them before, how it could scrape away at their connection until it burned up.

“I’m not going to lie,” Drew sighed, looking back down at y/n, “I’m scared, I’m nervous, but… I know we can do it.”

Y/n sat up, turning to straddle Drew’s lap, the two of them staring back at each other.

“I know we can, I just… everything is so, so perfect right now.” Y/n said, her hand moving to entwine with Drew’s. She didn’t doubt they could do it, could take the leap and let others know, she just didn’t want to lose this. These soft moments between the two of them, sitting on the couch or taking a stroll around the block, things so sacred that would inevitably become fewer and fewer when others would get involved.

“Things will change but… we won’t lose this. Us. I won’t let it happen. I can’t.” Drew whispered, squeezing y/n’s hand lightly. Y/n smiled softly, moving to brush a stray strand of hair back from Drew’s face. Sure, things would change, maybe they’d lose some of these moments, but would that make them and their relationship any less perfect? As long as they had each other, and the love they knew they shared, how couldn’t it be this perfect?

“You always know just what to say, don’t you, Starkey?” Y/n grinned, pressing a kiss to Drew’s cheek. The boy blushed, the familiar light pink she loved so much dabbing across his cheeks.

“I guess I’m just a perfect boyfriend.” Drew smirked, causing y/n to roll her eyes playfully and lean away from him. Drew snaked his hands out to pull her hips closer to him, chasing her lips with a kiss and sending tingles down her spine. She giggled against his lips, smiling widely before pulling away to look at Drew. She always thought he was hot, sometimes even ridiculously so, but this was her favorite look: lips kissed bitten, cheeks flushed, and hair lightly tousled.

“I guess you are.” Y/n grinned, pressing one last kiss to Drew’s lips before reaching over to the side table for her phone. She unlocked it and opened the camera, moving to rest her cheek against Drew’s before taking a photo.

“What are you doing?” Drew asked, peering down at y/n’s phone as she typed quickly, a small grin on her lips.

“I’m gonna share my perfect boyfriend with the world.” Y/n said, turning to look up at Drew, his own smile matching her own. The fears and worries that had flooded her mind suddenly seemed small to the warmth of Drew’s lips on hers, the smell of his skin, the sound of his voice, the way his words engrained themselves in her very soul… all things she knew nobody could take from her. She wouldn’t let them. She couldn’t let them.

Y/n finished typing, showing Drew her phone screen. He shook his head, kissing her gently before pressing “post”, not even bothering to look at the screen. It could’ve been the worst photo ever taken (it certainly wasn’t) with the most typo-riddled writing caption (it certainly wasn’t), but it was them. Authentically, stupidly just two idiots sitting on a couch… head over heels and ridiculously in love.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hi Miss Raven! I was reading your opinions about Leona and wanted to ask you, do you think Leona would be a better king than Falena?

[Referencing this post!]

Put simply, no--but not for the reasons you're probably thinking. Hey now, hold on! Put down your pitchforks and torches! Please at least hear what I have to say and consider it.

It's not that I think that Leona is incompetent or that I think Falena is sufficient as a king. It's that ruling (especially as a monarch that has a LOT of power and control) is very nuanced and to say that one person would be "better" than another is grossly glossing over all that goes into governance.

This post gets quite long, so I've placed all my thoughts under the cut. Again, I ask that you read the whole post before commenting.

First of all, the baseline we're comparing to is Falena so let's review what we know about him that's relevant to this discussion. Leona describes Falena as someone who has a "carefree attitude". Because of this, Leona worries that Falena will "run [their] kingdom into the ground." Now something I want to make clear: "[running their] kingdom into the ground" is very harsh wording used ONLY in EN. In JP, Leona is much more casual with his phrasing. He simply expresses that he is "worried about the country's future", not that he thinks Falena will ruin it:

In the book 2 post-OB flashback sequence, Leona implies that his older brother can sing and nap but still be guaranteed the crown because of Falena being first-born. Falena is noted as holding a ceremony in honor of his son's birth; he had commissioned for a fountain to be built (even though water is a scarce resource in their land) and unveiled in their capital—an occasion which Leona skipped. He refers to the ceremony as a "self-indulgent party where you show off your son to the people." This characterizes Falena as a jovial and excessive person who doesn't think too deeply about policies. Another example of this comes from Leona's Birthday Boy vignettes, in which Falena sends his younger brother an expensive rug. "In the time he spends sending me gifts I don't even want, he could be sending rugs to neighboring lands and bolstering our foreign relations," Leona says. "Of course, the thought never even crosses his mind." One of the Sunset Savnna’s driving philosophies is “hakuna matata”, which, as Leona describes it, means, “don’t think too hard about things”. And indeed, if Falena is anything like how Leona says he is, then he is the walking embodiment of their country and their beliefs.

One major issue that is unique to their homeland is that of unification. The Sunset Savanna boasts many different kinds of beastmen, each with their own customs and cultures--and because of that, these beastmen tend to live in settlements of just their own kind and don't always get along or see eye-to-eye with others. For example, it is said that very few bird beastmen reside in the capital city and Ruggie has implied that hyenas are low in the social hierarchy. Kifaji, the grand chamberlain, confides that the acting king Falena has struggled with this unification. The Kingscholars' father has communicated that he would like for nothing more than Leona to lend his assistance to Falena for this endeavor. (Keep this in mind, as I will be touching upon this again later!)

What I think many people tend to overlook when it comes to Falena's rule is that he has not been in power for a long time. According to Tamashina Mina, Falena has only been running the country for "the last few years", which is NOT that long. Falena has not even had that much experience as the official head of state to begin with--and yeah, you could argue that he has been preparing his whole life to eventually become the ruler, training for it and actually doing it are very different beasts. No amount of tutoring will prepare you for having the weight of an entire nation suddenly on your shoulders. I would also argue that anyone that is new to a job won't do the best right away and that experience is the best teacher. Falena is likely still learning while on the job and trying to do his best while also juggling being a parent and husband, trying to reach across the aisle to his estranged younger brother, and looking after his ill father.

This leads me to another point: a lot of what we hear about Falena is coming from Leona's perspective, which is very biased (especially in the post-OB flashback, as this was when Leona was at his most bitter). We should be aware of this while taking in the information Leona is offering. I don't doubt that Leona's telling the truth about how his brother is carefree or the things his brother has done, but at the same time we need to realize that this is a limited view of Falena. It's not the whole picture of who he is. Leona tends to focus on his brother's shortcomings and downfalls--but thinking about it, what are Falena's strengths?

Well, one of them is definitely that Falena is friendly, kind-hearted, and honest. Even Leona confesses to this. However, he frames these traits in a negative way, stating that "[Falena] could just focus on the kingdom's affairs--you know, his JOB--but nooo, he's gotta be the caring big brother who's nice to everybody," and, of his honesty, "he just makes things harder for himself." Falena also seems to be positive and insightful--admirable qualities in a leader. When Leona speaks rudely to him, Falena tries to reassure his little brother: "You may never become king, but you are still wise. There is much you could do for this country." He even pursues Leona when he leaves, trying to get his little brother to see reason. Falena sees the potential in Leona and he wants Leona to realize that potential too. If you look at this another way, this personality can be a boon. It could make it easier for Falena to smooth over tensions and get other political figures to open up to him, similar to how Kalim’s empathy helps to uplift and support his dorm mates and how those dorm mates in return give him their loyalty.

Finally, we know that Falena is cognizant of the culture and the values of the Sunset Savanna and likely works in accordance with those. If we revisit Tamashina Mina, Leona talks at length about how some areas of the country are so underdeveloped that its people are still drinking rainwater or from wells. He laments the situation and says that if only they improved their infrastructure and mined the valuable ore their country has, the people would be able to live better lives. Leona here leans pro-industrialization. From the lack of industrialization we see in large parts of the country, we can assume that Falena does not have this same stance. Rather, Falena understands that the people of the Sunset Savanna cherish living in harmony with nature and want to honor their animal ancestors by living in this way. He KNOWS that their people would be against industrialization, and so he favors slower development (Sunrise City being one of these metropolises that developed under the rule of their father) and in ways which preserve nature. As Lilia puts it, “Developing is easy. You just throw money at it. But building a city like this, while still preserving nature? That’s the real challenge, I’d say.” (That was a very quick summary but if you're interested in reading more about this topic specifically, I'd recommend this post!)

Falena cares about tradition and upholding it, and there isn’t inherently an issue with that. He values where he comes from and the practices that come with that. That’s why Falena gets upset with Leona for not doing his duties and skipping out on important meetings. It’s not purely that Falena sees these acts as disrespectful (although let’s be clear, it is disrespectful), but it also comes with the sadness of knowing that his younger brother doesn’t see the value in the same things he does—yet he still understands that Leona has his own strengths that be brings to the table.

You can see how this could translate into his ruling style too, even if it is not explicitly stated in the game. Falena is someone who is easy to approach with your problems (let's assume that this is the case both for his own people and for diplomats of other countries). He is someone who cares about tending to everyone, which would make him popular with the public--but that means he may spread himself or their resources too thin. Falena is also for slower progress in order to respect the ways of their culture and their people's values. But the point is, Falena cares, and all Leona sees in that is a bleeding heart since it doesn't produce what Leona thinks are good results.

And speaking of Leona, it's about time we get to him. What are his qualifications in a situation where he was king? What would his ruling style be like, and who would it serve his country?

Firstly, it's worthwhile to compare Leona's thinking to Falena's. Unlike his older brother, Leona is proactive--he plans ahead and considers the political power in something as simple as gifting an item. Many of the ideas he proposes for bettering his country are things that Falena either never thought of (ie gifting the rug to another country instead of to him) or would refuse to implement out of principle (speedrunning mining operations). However, it's undeniable that Leona's methods would produce results. As he demonstrates to us with his shady tactics in books 2 and 3, it does not matter to Leona what he has to do in order to achieve what he desires. His eyes are set on the goal, not on how he gets there (though he will plan the steps out meticulously as well). He's willing to tear up the environment if it means enriching the Sunset Savanna's economy and providing clean, consistent drinking water for the citizens. It's ultimately gains, but it jeopardizes maintaining harmony with nature. This would earn him genuine ire from his people (and honestly, disliking someone for blatantly disregarding your beliefs is valid; it's not blindly being petty or hating Leona for being the "lowly second born"). But!! Leona as of book 7 says he is going to intern at a mining and energy lab in his home country. This implies that he is willing to learn about the field and may use that knowledge to enact sustainable change. This is a really good start to his development and growth into a wise leader.

The brothers' personalities are also not alike at all. Leona is... admittedly far more abrasive that Falena. I'm not saying that Leona would behave so rudely to politicians or on a global stage (please, the man has more tact than that), but he would carry himself very differently than Falena. Leona can be polite and speak fancily all he wants, but he still does not have that same approachable warmth to him. Something else we should consider is that... well, Leona doesn't like stuffy occasions or putting on airs, which would basically be expected of him as king. We don't know for sure how he would act if the circumstances ask that he be cordial and yet the man himself detests such a thing. He could play the part if needed, sure. But for how long before he becomes annoyed or tired of it? Leona can also be arrogant and demanding. Do you think he would skip/sleep through meetings with advisors he deems irrelevant or unproductive? (Recall how he skips ceremonies and traditions he deems unimportant or boring, like the celebration of Cheka’s birth and tries to cheat his way out of his responsibilities as Captain of the Sunset Warriors.) How do you think he'd act with people who oppose him? Would he defy traditions? He also disregards the “hakuna matata” mantra and cynically labels it “self-serving”. I could see how tensions could rise as a result. (Reminder that I'm not saying it's for CERTAIN that Leona would do these things, I'm just posing possibilities based on what I understand of his character and whether you believe Leona would act like this or not is up to you.) Leona is 10 years younger than Falena and has never formally served in a governmental position. This means that he, too, lacks the political experience to be king. Some would say that where Leona makes up for this is in life experiences. He has been downtrodden and defeated, mingled among the common folk, etc. This means Leona is better equipped to understand the plight of his people, they argue. And I can see where people are coming from--but personally, I think Leona still lacks what he needs to be a "better" ruler. Yes, Leona has lived "out there", but the fact remains that Falena still has 10 years on him. What's more is that Leona has not actually strayed that far from his privileged life. He's dorm leader (a position of power within NRC), attends an elite magic school, and constantly has Ruggie taking care of him. I don't think this really prepares him to rule a whole country.

That's a good segway into Leona and his leadership. As I've mentioned before, Falena is having trouble with enacting national policies to unite all beastmen. Leona does not appear to have the same issue, as even though there is a variety of beastmen within Savanaclaw, they all defer to Leona the same. Therefore, Leona, as king, could easily resolve this problem in the Sunset Savanna--so the theory goes. As for me, well... In my opinion, I do think it's a show of skill that Leona can get many different beastmen rallying under his flag but I don't think this generalizes to (again) the scale of an entire nation. Not only do we have to account for WAY more people, but also people of demographics that differ wildly from Savanaclaw. The mobs under Leona follow him, yes--but thinking about it, they're all VERY similar demographics-wise. They're roughly the same age, all male, all students, and have the same goals in mind (for book 2, it was to be noticed by talent scouts). I would bet that most of them are from middle class or upper-class incomes too. Now expand the scope to a country. Do you think Leona could appeal to young and old? Male and female? Rich and poor? People of all occupations? What about parents? There are so many other factors to account for, so I don't think it's fair to generalize Leona leading a dorm of maybe 85ish (this is just a guess; NRC has ~800 total students, 600 are on-campus and split across 7 dorms so this assumes equal splitting) to a diverse kingdom of thousands.

If Falena were to abdicate the throne to Leona right this second, no, I don't think Leona would be fit to be king. Leona's ideas seem "good" on a surface level, but that's ignoring the long-term impacts and his less-than-stellar personality quirks. He has a ton that he has to learn before he can comfortably govern. At the same time, Falena isn't exactly a perfect ruler either. He, too, lacks experience and can be short-sighted and naive in spite of his good intentions and willingness to hear everyone out.

In an AU where Leona was actually the crown prince (and thus never got talked down to or treated like the “lesser” second born), maybe things would be different. But then that creates the same issue with Falena (now the scorned younger prince) being the "Leona" of the AU.

Each Kingscholar brother has his own strengths and weaknesses, perspectives, and leadership styles. THIS DOES NOT MAKE ONE SUPERIOR OR "BETTER" THAN THE OTHER. Instead, they make up for one another's deficits or flaws, creating a more well-rounded and unified view. This is, perhaps, why both Falena and their father want Leona to step in and help with ruling the country. I think they all see the benefit that Leona could provide and that they value his thoughts.

The "best" situation for the Sunset Savanna, in my opinion, would be Leona and Falena working together to see the country's future through. It does not have to be in the capacity of king and advisor; titles do not matter here. What is most important is that Leona and Falena can meet on neutral grounds and agree to put their all into improving the Sunset Savanna.

[traumxrei-archive]

【 not-so-secret admirer 】

NRC launches lockers for valentine's day where students can anonymously place gifts for their crushes. Now it was only a matter of not getting caught by said crush... (ft. jamil viper, ace trappola, floyd leech)

gn! prefect, word count: 2.2k

a/n: happy (belated) valentines day !! bringing you basketball club boys and extra soft valentine's day fluff ^^ good luck to everyone who's weak to fluff <3

jamil viper

When Jamil first heard about the Valentine lockers, his mind did flash to a certain resident of Ramshackle. But he desperately pushed the image out of his mind, telling himself that he was too busy. Which was technically the truth. He barely had time to himself that week, with how the assignments were starting to overlap with his extracurriculars.

But still, he…managed to make something. Combining some alchemy into cooking, he made a small box of chocolates that wouldn't melt unless eaten, complete with fillings that he knew the Prefect would enjoy.

It was his intention to give it to them. If he ran across them in the hallways he would give it to them, he told himself. If he found himself somewhere near the lockers, then he would put the gift in their locker.

But what Jamil wasn't expecting was for Kalim, of all people to send him to the lockers.

"C'mon, Jamil!" Kalim said cheerily. "I've already checked mine and I got lots of nice messages, so you should check yours." At his pointed stare, the white-haired added, "H-hey, I didn't eat any of the chocolate, I promise!"

So that was how Jamil ended up in front of the dreaded Valentine's lockers. He stared at them dejectedly as he started to walk toward where the second-year lockers were.

And that was when he spotted the Prefect, pacing a few meters away. He stopped in his tracks, the box of chocolates feeling that much heavier in their presence.

He couldn't help but call their name, despite his nervousness, "Prefect." Their eyes met his and they froze lightly, clearly not expecting there to be another person around.

"O-oh, Jamil," They said, a nervous undercurrent running through their words. "What brings you here?"

"I was about to check my locker," Jamil carefully eyed the flowers in their arms. "Did you come back from checking yours?" The flowers were beautiful, blooms of lilies and carnations artfully arranged into one bouquet.

"Huh?" He saw how their shoulders jumped— a strange, almost knee-jerk reaction. "Oh, this is– it isn't for me."

"Ah," Jamil couldn't help but swallow, a suffocating feeling starting to grow in his chest because…his crush liked someone else. He couldn't show them that he was sad. He looked away from the bouquet, and his eyes— unfortunately— landed on the locker that they were standing in front of.

"Were you….about to give those flowers to Riddle?" Jamil knew he shouldn't ask. He knew that it would only hurt him more if he knew the details, and yet he didn't take back his words. Silence stretched out between them and Jamil wanted nothing more than to leave.

But then they spoke.

"The…flowers," Their words were so very careful, their eyes flicking back and forth between him and the flowers. "They're actually for you."

For…him?

The pressure in his chest lifted, and he exhaled in disbelief. His eyes scanned the lockers and sure enough, his name was one away from where they were standing. Did that mean what he so desperately wanted to believe that it meant?

And maybe Jamil had been too quiet for far too long because they started elaborating, "Well, I did stop in front of your locker earlier, and I was just worried that you wouldn't…like it…so–"

"Actually," Jamil interrupted, closing the gap between them just a little. "I was here to put this in someone's locker too."

He pulled out the box of chocolates, gathering his courage before meeting their eyes, "But since you're already right in front of me, it's better if I gave it to you personally, right?"

There was a stunned smile on their face that Jamil wanted to commit to memory, the butterflies kicking in his stomach as he took the bouquet into his arms. He half-wanted to put the flowers aside, and take them into his arms to hold; if only to convince himself this was real. But he didn't have to, not when they had already tentatively taken his hand in theirs.

The corner of his own lips turned upward as he pressed a lingering kiss to their knuckles, "So…would you be mine, ya ruuhi?"

note: > lilies mean "affection for loved ones" and carnations mean "fascination and love" in flower language ^^ > ya ruuhi means "my soul" in arabic >:D

ace trappola

The Prefect was…being shifty today. That wasn't a regular thing, no. Usually, the people being shifty was Grim, and that was usually because he didn't do some assigned homework and was going to copy off someone else. (Not that Ace wouldn't do the same.)

But Ace couldn't help but notice the way they flinched every time he was near, the strained smile and the way they kept glancing at him. He feigned ignorance because it was better if they didn't realize he noticed.

If he didn't know any better, he would say that he was making them nervous. But why would the Prefect of all people, be nervous because of him?

Today was Valentine's day, wasn't it…? That was when it clicked.

Ace let a smug smile settle on his face. Maybe…the Prefect liked him? So they were going to confess to him on Valentine's Day? The feeling of fondness all but ballooned in his chest as he waited for them to pull him to the side and confess.

But his impatience getting the best of him as the day came to a close. Was he reading the signs wrong after all? Did he really fool himself into thinking that his crush on the Prefect was requited?

And that was when Ace, while most definitely not sulking at all, saw them turning a corner. Curious, Ace followed behind them, watching as they scanned the lockers, a wrapped gift in hand.

And before he could stop himself, he walked up to them, snatching the box with a smirk, "Now that's just boring~"

"Wh– Ace Trappola! Give that back."

He held it out of their reach, "I mean, if you wanna confess, at least have the guts to say it out loud. Isn't confessing anonymously kinda cheating?" He glanced at the lockers, finding his name right in front of where he was standing. But he needed them to say it out loud for him to beleive it.

"I…I don't know what you're talking about," They huffed, finally leveling him with a less-than-friendly glare. "Now give it back."

"Don't wanna~" Ace said, leaning into their space a little more. "Besides, aren't these for me anyway?"

"How did you–?" They smacked a hand against their own mouth and Ace couldn't help but laugh. Half because he found the whole situation funny, and half because he was glad that he wasn't wrong. There was a pout on their face when he was finally done laughing.

He was grinning ear-to-ear now, spinning the box like it was a basketball, "It doesn't take a genius to figure out, with the way you were acting, Prefect. So, you like me that much, huh?"

"A terrible choice, I know," They said, shoving at his shoulder lightly. "Open it then, Mr. Genius."

Ace carefully tugged at the ribbon, the paper falling away to reveal a familiar-looking box of chocolates. He inhaled sharply, "No way— Did you get me those chocolates I was raving about a few months back?" He distantly remembered bragging about the expensive box of cherry-filled chocolates that his parents got him for Christmas, but he wasn't expecting this.

"Well…you said you wanted them." Their reaction was far too nonchalant for Ace's liking, and he had to hide the flush that was threatening to take over his face at the thought of them remembering such a trivial thing.

"That's so…stupid," Ace huffed, ruffling their hair wildly. "But…thank you." He felt the butterflies kicking wildly in his stomach when they smiled at him, and he knew he had to do something, or else he would end up doing something embarrassing.

"Wanna skip studying and do something fun?" The words were out of his mouth in a rush, and he felt a plan formulating in his mind as he grinned. "C'mon, I'll pay for snacks. And you're not gonna refuse your new boyfriend, right?"

floyd leech

Floyd wasn't the type to be concerned over a trivial holiday like Valentine's Day. But being unconcerned didn't mean he was completely uninterested. Contrary to popular belief, Floyd Leech did think about mushy stuff like feelings. Especially since he realized his feelings toward one particular shrimp…

Floyd grinned sunnily, staring at the hoard of people in front of the Valentine's lockers. He wondered if Shrimpy was among those minnows. Then again, why would they be? Surely they weren't going to give anyone a gift today…right?

He turned a corner, his feet bringing him to Class 1-A's lockers. There seemed to be a buzz happening in front of one of the lockers. Floyd meandered closer, ignoring the way the minnows paled upon seeing him.

Once he finally got to the front of the crowd, he could see students taking turns placing different gifts into an overly-full locker. Floyd tilted his head in contemplation. Who in Class 1-A was that popular? It couldn't possibly be Crabby, right? Sure, he bragged about being popular, but there was no way Floyd ever believed in his words.

That was when someone managed to wrangle the locker shut with a particularly loud slam, and Floyd caught a glimpse of the name on the locker.

It was his Shrimpy's name. Floyd blinked, eyes going from the name on the locker to the gifts that lined even the outside of the locker. His Shrimpy was that popular…?

To which his brain answered with, of course they were that popular. It was natural that someone who resembled sunlight dancing across the ocean's surface would be popular. If Floyd's face split with a grin at the very sight of them, then of course there were others who felt the same.

And just like that, Floyd's jovial mood had flipped itself on its head. He shoved out of the crowd, uncaring of the stares that followed him as he scowled. He didn't know who he was upset with, simply that he was upset because Little Shrimp really was too far out of his reach.

In his state, he didn't notice someone calling for him until a hand touched his arm, "Floyd…?" Floyd's head snapped toward the voice, finding the little shrimp standing there wide-eyed.

Seeing them right in front of him put a bitter taste on his tongue, "Go away, Shrimpy." That wasn't what he meant to say. But if they didn't go away, then he was going to do something stupid.

"Did something happen?" Shrimpy asked, glancing him over. "You don't look hurt."

He rolled his eyes, "Why dontcha go play with all your fans instead?" He saw a frown stretch on their face, their brows wrinkling at his harsh words. And he so badly wanted to reach over to smooth their brow but instead he looked away.

"Floyd Leech, just what are you talking about?"

"It's just…Shrimpy's so popular," It felt childish to complain about such a thing in front of them. "'N it's not fair, because…" Because what? Because Floyd harbored feelings for them that he never confessed? Those other minnows didn't know that. He couldn't exactly blame them.

"Ah," They snapped their fingers. "Are you upset that I got more gifts than you? At the lockers?"

Floyd groaned, "No way—"

"Here," They held up a box for him to take. "For you."

Floyd took the box gingerly, still frowning all the while, "Shrimpy, if this is a pity gift, Imma squeeze the life outta you." Still, a part of him still hoped that there was a chance.

He opened the gift, untying the bow and lifting the lid. Inside was…a scarf. Teal in color, he could see an eel motif in the scarf's design, a dopey smiley face, and a tail at either end of the scarf.

When he looked up, the Little Shrimp this cute nervous expression on their face, "I told you it was for you. It's just…I thought you wouldn't…get to know it was from me."

…Oh.

So they were on their way to gift this to him? Anonymously? Well now he really wanted to squeeze them.

And so he did, he dropped the box with a laugh, snaking his arms around them, "Shrimpy~ I love it~ How'd you even find that thing~?"

"I-I made it," They confessed, looking a little startled by the sudden embrace. "You said you didn't like the grey scarves of your dorm uniform, right?"

"Aha, I remember that," Floyd rubbed his cheek against their head, feeling so elated with the fact that they were here for him. Him. Shrimpy liked Floyd Leech and not any of those other minnows.

"Hey, Shrimpy~" Floyd grinned once more. "Doesn't that mean we're dating now?"

"Wait, you like me back?" They squeezed out, and it was Floyd's turn to be disappointed.

"C'mon Shrimpy, I thought you'd figure it out by now," Floyd shook his head before picking up the scarf. "Then shouldn't we do something to celebrate? Ooh, how about we go to the Lounge and raid Jade's snack box? And I've gotta show off to the world that Shrimpy's made me such a cool scarf~" Floyd tugged them along as he rambled about their plans. They piped up a couple of times, but other than that, they seemed happy enough to be lead wherever he wanted.

Good. There was no need for them to go to their locker. He could buy them all that and more, now that they were his.

ty ty for reading all these valentine's drabbles ? ficlets ? valentine's stories !! if you enjoyed and would like to read more of my works, come check out my masterlist <3

[lvcky-g1rl-syndr0me]

⋆୨♡୧⋆l-l-love🤢⋆୨♡୧⋆

as y/n walked to the hybe cafe, she immediately spotted riki, a head above the rest. so tall she could point him out in a crowd anywhere. she took a deep breath and took a moment to compose herself before eventually walking over to him. she tapped him on his shoulder as he was facing away from her. "oh! hey!" there it is that smile. to say she loved his smile would be an understatement. she thought it was the prettiest thing she'd ever seen and she nearly felt as if she was going to die at the sight of it. she couldn't help but smile back at him. "hey! how are you?" what he wanted to say was "so much better now that i'm with you", but what came out instead was "good. yeah, i'm good, what about you?" his eyebrow raised, it was single handedly the cutest thing y/n had ever seen. "i'm pretty good. doing a lot of schedules for debut, you know, usual stuff" could she be anymore awkward? clearly yes. first "thanks you too" and now "usual stuff" she felt like she wanted to disappear right then and there, but riki absolutely loved it. this whole time he thought she was so cool and calm, but really she's cute and awkward, which he secretly liked more than if she would have been chill. he finds himself staring at her for a moment before quickly catching himself "oh um- did you want food? I didn't get any cause i wasn't sure if you'd want anything." she smiled at his thoughtfulness and said "no thanks, i'm not super hungry right now. thank you though." he thought back to their conversation yesterday, the whole reason why they're here now. "so, you wanted some tips about mcing?" he asked. "oh! yeah. im kind of nervous, i have no idea what i'm doing and you've ben an mc before, so i was hoping you could give me some advice?" she was hoping this didn't come off as pathetic or anything. i mean, who needs advice on how to talk into a mic? y/n apparently. "well," he starts "for me, i find its best to interact with the fans while waiting for our speaking parts. it calms my nerves before speaking because i'm talking to people that support me. often times it's mostly your own fans watching you in person. that’s at least what sunghoon told me. and if you're worried about messing up lines or something, I'll be there to cover for you, reading from a prompter is hard, so if you mess up its okay. don't worry too much about it." she nodded along to his words, taking mental notes on his advice. "thank you, i really appreciate it. i don't know why im so nervous. its just talking into a mic to a camera." she sighs. "I mean, I understand. it's nerve wracking when it's your first time. I felt like that too when I mc'ed for MAMA one year. it can be scary talking in front of a bunch of people and trying not to mess up. that's why you have a co-host, me! if you do mess up, I can cover you so it doesn't look too much like an accident." her heart fluttered at that. over something so small? she knew it was corny, but she couldn't help it. she felt so strongly for him. she always thought that if she actually talked to him, this whole little crush would go away. but to her surprise, it only got stronger. "you know, since we're going to be working together, we should get each others numbers." her heart stopped, and so did his. hers in shock, and his in fear. what if she said no? what if she thought he was weird? did he really just ask her for her number? there's no way. she froze for a moment, but realized she really should probably respond to him "yeah! yeah of course!" riki was never more relieved in his life. he handed her his phone "here, put your number in." she took it from him and put in her number, texting herself. "there. i can send you a picture for my contact photo later" his heart raced, he had just gotten his crushes number, and she's going to send him a picture of herself later. could his life get any better then this? "okay, sure, yeah, that sounds good" he stammers. is he really flustered right now? oh my god she thought. as the two talked and laughed together, they figured out they're more similar then they thought they were.

the pair quickly growing closer in just mere hours, both feeing significantly strong for each other than when they first said hello earlier. as the time drew later, the two decided to end their night, quickly realizing the ghost town that the hype cafe had become. "oh- well, its late, and my members are blowing up my phone asking where I am" she laughed as she scrolled through the countless messages left by yunjin and hanni. 'yeah, I should probably go too. I told jay I'd help make dinner tonight" he sighed, wishing he didn't promise jay anything and he could hang out with y/n for longer. she laughed lightly "ill let you go then. text me though, okay?" what had come over her? did she really just say that? (y/ns version of flirting was a bit different then others, that being because she didn't know how to flirt) riki nodded and smiled "yeah, I'll text you. see you later!" he waved to her and started to walk away. she waved back and watched him go. she sat back down and sighed once he was out of her sight. she was so fucked. she was completely and utterly melted by him, and they had only just official met yesterday. maybe there was something wrong with her. but frankly, she didn't care. maybe she was being delusional like usual, but she was pretty sure she could see something there with riki.

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[heartfullofleeches]

You know what i would like to see a goldfish reader cause i mean goldfish can be really tiny and can get fairly big, maybe reader is from a pet store and gets bought for a young rich yandere and gets absolutely pampered and gets huge, clifford the big red dog style

"Sorry, I can't make it this year."

"Mom won't drive me out that far....."

"Maybe next time?"

"Next year."

Next year... Next year.. They'll be forty by the time that rolls around. It's always the same. People stick around for the lavish parties and taste of the high life, but the second they want to downgrade for something small with close friends and family everyone's suddenly too busy to come see them. The presents have always been shit too. Flashy jewelry or clothing from brands they couldn't care less about. Whatever happened to giving kids toy trains and dolls? They're sick of it. Sick of everything. Why can't anything turn out right-

Auryn hurls their phone at the door, anger fleeting as it smashes into a million pieces. Mommy and daddy will just buy them a new one, and while it won't do a scratch they love the idea of burning a hole in their pockets. Wasting all the money they gave them instead of time. The door creaks open once the coast is clear and in peaks a frightened maid. Her eyes fall to her arms, soothing whatever she held with a soft hush. They return to her master, waiting for their answer.

"Come in."

The maid opens the door completely and steps inside. In her hands was a glass bowl. "From your parents."

Auryn drums their leg against the frame of their bed, wondering why their arms were still empty. "Well?"

The maid shoves the bowl into their chest as passive she could, prioritizing the creature within over her annoyance. They look into the glass. Floating at the bottom; staring right back at them, was a little goldfish. Poor thing had been startled awake by the loud thud and trying to squeeze its tail into the castle it had already outgrown. It still couldn't have been any bigger than their hand. Beyond its human features, there was nothing special about it. A fish.

A fucking fish. Out of all the things they could've sent. The maid could sense their rage flaring. "Please give it a chance. Your brother couldn't keep it, and he knew you'd be the next best owner."

Their nails scrap the glass. That only makes it worse. Their family dumping their trash on them was a new low. What were they going to do with this thing? They should put it out of its misery. Abandoned, weak, unable to feign for itself.... just like them.

Auryn looks at the goldfish again. They stick a finger in its tank, swishing it around as the guppy takes interest. It swims up to them and puts its mouth around the digit, nibbling at the skin. They smile a bit, pulling their finger away which in turn causes the fish to dart away. Their brows furrow in worry.

"... I'm..sorry for scaring you. You're just like me aren't you? Alone. Afraid. I'll take care of you. I promise. Why don't we start off by getting you a new tank?"

.

.

.

"Noooooo"

You shake in their arms as the divers attempt to fit their measuring tools around your tail, successfully knocking two of them away and sending the third packing. Auryn strokes your tears into your scaly flesh, fighting a laugh as the hired help resurfaces.

"I don't want to get measured!"

"Shhhh. It's okay. If even one scale is missing off that gorgeous tail I'll cut their oxygen and add a few bricks to their suits."

You still aren't convinced. Auryn melts at the way you curl against their chest. The first time they held you like this you were about the size of a puppy. Now, your tail alone was bigger as their entire torso and your arms were tree trunks compared to theirs. They had done exactly as they said. After you came into their life no one else mattered. They got you a nice large tank to start off with, fed you a healthy diet with plenty of treats since your speak lessons were going so well, and spoke with you for hours. You were already half their size by the end of the year. They used to take you on walks in your little bowl, then they had to buy a wagon to carry you around, and now you lived in a glorified swimming pool no one else had access to besides care beyond their capabilities. Having you turned them into a more compassionate, but closed off person, and got them through the worse in life. They were successful in nearly every endeavor and it was all for you.

Auryn gets close to your ear as their voice rises in pitch. "But if you reaaaally don't want to - I'll have to find some other guppy to give all the brine shrimp I have in the house to."

Your tail cracks against the pool's wall, ripping the water's surface with tidal category waves and pushing the workers back down under. "I'll be good! I will- please!"

"Haha - ok, ok." They give a thumbs up to the divers as they climb in the pool. You work with them this time, channeling your fright as their tools stretch and stick around you into the grip you hold on Auryn's arm - careful not to apply too much. They grit through the pain and as one of the divers comes up again they take the measuring tape still held by the rest and lines it up to your head.

"4 meters!"

Auryn exclaims in glee and grabs you by the cheeks, cooing and kissing your nose as they laugh. "Look at you! A whole nother meter in just one year. Keep this up and we'll have to buy an island."

A servant knocks on the sliding glass door. Auryn excuse themselves with one final kiss to your wet lips as they hop out of your tank. They hand them a phone.

"It's your parents. They are in town with your brother and would like to take you out for your birthday this evening."

Auryn gets real close to the receiver as they speak. "Eat shit and die. Stay the hell away from us."

[afictionaladventure16]

Hey! I love your Tim Bradford x teen! Reader fics! Was wondering could you do another one? Reader reconnects with someone they met through the system who's had a rough go. Maybe they were in the same house for a while and relied on each other a lot in that house to keep each other safe. But as they reconnect reader doesn't realise how toxic the relationship is. Tamara knows the dodgy stuff that the kid gets up to from her time in the system and warns Lucy and Tim because she doesn't want reader to fall back into bad habits with them. Maybe reader gets in trouble and calls Tamara to save them?

Reconnections and Regrets (Tim Bradford x Teen!Foster!Reader)

The Rookie Masterlist

Warnings: Mentions of guns and drugs

Summary: After trying to reconnect with people in the past, y/n realizes quickly why the past should stay in the past.

Author's note: I feel like this one wasn't the best fic I've done so far. I really liked this idea for the fic, though! I hope you enjoy it! Send in some more Tim Bradford x Teen!reader angsty fics!

You had promised yourself that you wouldn’t get back into your old habits. 

That you would forget your past and move forward, just like Tamara had done, and just as every other kid within the system wishes they could do. To have the ability to find someone to take you under their wing and help you forget your past. An opportunity to start over. 

But here you were, texting an old friend with plans to catch up later that afternoon. You couldn’t help but smile at the messages, you were excited to catch up with old friends. But most of all, you were excited to catch up with a special someone that you hadn’t seen since Tim took you in. 

The special someone was a boy named Jacob, the two of you had been in a foster home together when you were younger and he protected you from your foster father and well, you tried to do the same. You couldn’t help but develop feelings for him over the years. 

The last you heard about him was that he was living with his cousin, from what you knew, this cousin was bad news and you could not help but worry about Jacob living there. Especially since he stopped responding to your messages when he moved in with his cousin. It felt like he had just pushed you away. 

“What are you smiling about?” Tamara asked as she sat on the couch beside you. You had come over since Tim wasn’t home yet, and well, since Lucy and Tim were dating it now felt like you had two homes instead of one. 

“Nothing,” you responded. 

You could feel Tamara peeking over your shoulder to look at your phone, you quickly locked it and put it on your lap. 

“Please don’t tell me you’re talking to Jessica,” she pleaded. 

“Alright, I won’t.” 

She rolled her eyes, “Y/N, you know how I feel about her.” 

“Look, I’m just trying to reconnect, what harm-” 

“You know what can happen. You gotten out of that life and now you’re trying to go back? You get Starbucks on the daily, you’re in the cheer team and you go to a self-defense class for crying out loud. You’re not the same girl you used to be, so don’t think they’ll be coming at you with open arms.” 

You gave her a small glare, “Stop acting like you don’t think about going back to see your old friends from time to time.” You got up from the couch, “Maybe instead of focusing so much on my life, you should take a look at yours first.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Tamara asked as she followed you as you walked towards the door, “Where are you going?” 

“Out,” you stated as you walked out of the apartment. 

“Fuck,” Tamara exclaimed. Maybe she should’ve kept her mouth shut, but she felt she had to say something, otherwise, you would end up hurt. But now she felt like she had made things worse. 

On the other hand, you were annoyed by how she was right and maybe you got angry with her out of fear. Fear that maybe your friends, like Tamara had said, wouldn’t be as inviting as you think they would be. You hadn’t just changed through your personality but through your appearance too. You now had someone who would take you shopping for clothes you always wanted to wear, but never did out of fear of them getting stolen or taken from you. 

You acted like a completely different person now. A person who learned to trust a little more easily and you now weren’t afraid to just be yourself. 

On my way over, you sent it to Jessica. 

It wouldn’t take long for you to get back to the old neighborhood, it was a twenty-minute bus ride away. Or thirty minutes walking, but with the Los Angeles heat, you’d take your chances with the bus. 

~~ 

A couple of hours passed, and Tamara had not received anything from you. Beginning to worry had already surpassed, she was the definition of completely terrified of what could go wrong. She should’ve texted Tim or Lucy the second you left, but she wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt, but not the guilt was eating away at her. She let out a frustrated groan and called Lucy. 

Lucy picked up after a few rings, “What’s up?” 

“Look before you start yelling, I was trying to warn her okay?” 

Lucy furrowed her eyebrows, “What happened?” 

“Please don’t be mad, but Y/N was here and I saw her messaging one of her old friends and we got into an argument about it and now she’s not responding and I’m scared she’s gonna fall back into some bad habits, especially because this girl is known for doing certain things.” 

“How long ago did she leave?” Lucy asked. 

“Like two hours ago,” Tamara confessed. 

“And you’re barely calling me?” Lucy raised her voice, but quickly let out a sigh, “Do you think she went to see this friend?” 

“I know she did,” Tamamra hesitantly said. 

“Alright, for now, we’ll just see things out. We can’t just go there all guns blazing when there is no trouble,” Lucy stated. Although, she wanted to go all guns blazing because she was worried for Y/N’s safety. 

“Are we going to tell Tim?” 

“Tim already knows,” Tim announced. Tamara could hear the anger in his voice, and the fact that he never said anything until now, meant that he was indeed angry. 

“Look, just keep us updated, let us know if you hear anything from her, alright?” Lucy said. 

“Alright,” Tamara hung up the phone. 

Lucy didn’t say anything to Tim, she waited until he did, but he remained silent. 

Lucy let out a deep breath, “do you want to talk about it?” 

“Talk about what?” Tim asked. 

Lucy rolled her eyes, “About Y/N sneaking off to see her old friends? I mean, it’s obvious that you’re angry.” 

“I’m not angry.” 

“You’re not?” She asked in almost disbelief. 

“I’m disappointed. I thought she trusted me enough to tell me things, well, I thought we had gotten to that point. Now I feel like we hadn’t made any progress at all.” 

“You know that’s not true,” Lucy began to say. 

“Is it?” Tim cut her off, “because from my perspective, it doesn’t look good. I love this kid and I want to be more than just another foster home for her, but almost every time we get close to making a breakthrough she pushes me away.” 

Lucy sighed, she felt that maybe with her experience with Tamara, she would know what to say, but somehow this was different. “Just give her some time,” Lucy suggested. 

Tim wanted to say that he had given her all the time in the world, but that made it sound like he was giving up, and he didn’t want to give up. He just wished he knew what to do. 

~~ 

You had been with Jessica walking around your old neighborhood for the past two hours, hoping to run into Jacob and it didn’t take you too long. 

From a distance, you can see Jacob at the park talking to some guys that looked to be older. 

Jessica smirked as she watched you stare at Jacob from a distance, “you know he still asks about you.” 

You scoffed, “really?” she gave you a nod, “yet he won’t return a text.” 

“He thinks he’s too tough for all that shit now, he even dropped out of school,” Jessica commented. She walked in front of you, “We should go over there,” she suggested. 

Now that you were here, you had a sort of fear lingering in the back of your head. You knew the chances of hanging out with Jacob meant that you could get into trouble, but that voice inside of your head just wanted to talk to him once more. 

You shrugged, “I don’t know.” 

“Oh come on, Y/N. Don’t act like your main purpose for hitting me up was so you could see him again,” Jessica grabbed your hand and began leading you to the park. That fear within the back of your head was beginning to get louder the closer you got to Jacob. 

“Maybe I should go home,” you began to say. Jacob was only steps away and at the sound of your voice he quickly turned around. 

“No way,” he said with a smile on his face. “Ain’t no way she came back to see us,” he exclaimed as you sighed and walked up to him. “For a second I was beginning to think you were too good for us.” 

You rolled your eyes at his comment, “How you’ve been?” you asked. 

He glanced over at his friends then diverted his eyes back at you, “I’ve been decent.” Jessica walked over to his friends, of course she would know who they were. She was quick to strike up a conversation with them. Jacob took a couple of steps away from the group, gesturing for you to get closer. 

“I heard you’re staying with your cousin,” you began. 

“You shouldn’t have come back, Y/N,” Jacob warned. “You got out and I’m proud that you did.” 

“It’s not too late for you to do the same,” you commented. 

He shook his head, “I’m too deep in this shit.” You knew what that meant. You knew that his chances of getting out of this life were gone. “You really shouldn’t have come back, people know you’re staying with a cop. My cousin knows,” he began. 

Your heart began to race, “Why did you stop texting me back?” You asked. You had to ask before you left, you knew his cousin had beef with cops and anyone associated with them. 

“You left and well, I had to go with my cousin and that meant-” 

“I know,” you interrupted, not wanting to hear him say it. To hear him say that he stopped talking to you not just for your own good, but his as well. 

“You really should go,” he began to say. From the distance you could hear the roar of an engine, it caught Jacob’s attention. “Fuck,” he whispered. 

“Sounds like your cousin is back,” One of the other guys began to say. 

You looked over at Jessica, “we should go,” you said. 

Jessica opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by the roar of the engine, a second later a car came into view and parked in the parking lot of the park. 

A guy came out of the car and began making his way over to the group, “So the rumors are true,” he began to say. “Jacob’s little girlfriend is back,” He smirked. 

“Hey, Frankie,” you said. 

“Is that all I get? Hey Frankie?” He scoffed before looking over at Jacob, “I need you to come with me,” he began as he glanced over at you, “and bring your little girlfriend.” 

“No, Frankie. You already know she liv-” 

“Did you just tell me no?” Frankie interrupted Jacob. “Do you not remember the last time I had to put you in your place?” Jacob clenched his fists, “or do you need a refresher?” 

“Fine,” Jacob grabbed a hold of your hand, “let’s go.” 

“Wait, what? I-I need to go home,” you pleaded. 

“No, no,” Frankie began, “you’re coming with us now.” 

You felt your anxiety rise within you, this is what Tamara had warned her about. This is what she was afraid of and now it was too late. 

“Jacob,” you whispered to him as soon as you stepped away from Frankie, “Where are we going?” 

“I don’t know,” he whispered. “I told you, you shouldn’t have come back.” 

You remained silent, the best thing you could do right now was to stay calm. 

Frankie drove the two of you two a house down the street, he led the two of you inside, “Dude, what the fuck, why did you bring us here?” 

“I told you I wanted to show the business,” Frankie said. 

“And you thought it was wise to bring her here?” Jacob commented. You looked around to see equipment you couldn’t recognize and powder inside blenders. You knew what was happening here wasn’t good at all, it was a lab of some sorts. A shitty one at that. 

“I want her to see what we’re doing, if she says anything then I know who ratted us out,” Frankie stated. 

Jacob shook his head, “that is the stupidest thing you have ever said. I swear you’ve lost it since you started using.” 

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” 

“Did you not hear yourself? You want her to purposely rat us out, for what? For us to lose everything?” 

Frankie pulled out a gun and aimed it at you, “So then should I just shoot her?” 

Your eyes widen, “What the fuck, Frankie!” Jacob exclaimed as he stood in front of you. You clung to Jacob’s arm, you could feel tears beginning to well up in your eyes. 

One of the guys from earlier came running in, “We got a problem.” 

Frankie sighed and put his gun back in his belt, “what?” 

“Enrique is here and I don’t think he wants to talk anymore.” 

Frankie looked at the man with anger in his eyes, “Stay here,” he told Jacob before walking out front. You pulled out your phone as soon as Frankie left. 

“What are you doing?” Jacob asked. 

“I-I was in over my head coming here,” You began as you looked for Tamara’s contact. 

Jacob rolled his eyes, “Calling your cop dad is just going to get me locked up,” He commented. 

“You wanted me to go, so now I’m calling my friend to get me the fuck out of here,” you stated. You heard a gunshot coming from outside, before you could even ask Jacob anything, he ran outside. You called Tamara, hoping she would pick up fast and that she wouldn’t say a word about this to Tim. 

“Y/N!” Tamara exclaimed. 

“Tamara,” you choked out, “I-I need your help.” 

Tamara face fell, “Where are you?” 

“I don’t know, we were at the old neighborhood and Frankie showed up and he-he’s on something and it looked like he wanted to show Jacob a-” Another gunshot rang outside, you jumped to the sound. You ran from your spot in the living room, you found a bathroom in the hallway. 

“What was that?” Tamara asked. 

You closed the door behind you, locking it before jumping inside the tub. “Please, help me.” 

“Okay, okay, stay on the phone. I’m gonna connect Lucy okay?” Tamara quickly added Lucy to the call. “Please pick up,” Tamara said to herself. 

“Tamara,” Lucy began, “you hear anything from Y/N?” 

“Lucy,” you said. 

“Y/N?” 

“Lucy, I added you to the call,” Tamara explained. 

Lucy quickly put the phone on speaker, Tim was quick to understand what was going on. 

“Y/N, Hon are you okay?” Tim asked. 

Just hearing his voice made you feel even more guilty, you felt the tears fall down your cheeks, “I’m sorry,” you choked out. 

“Y/N, honey, it’s okay, right now I need you to tell me if you’re okay, are you hurt in any way” Tim reassured. 

“N-No,” you stated. 

“Good, where are you?” 

“I-I don’t know. Some house in the old neighborhood.” 

“Y/N, do you think you can share your location with me?” Lucy suggested. 

You placed the phone on speaker as you went on your phone to share your location, “There,” you stated. 

“There it is,” Lucy said. 

“Let’s go,” Tim said as he placed the shop in drive. 

Another gunshot ranged through the air, “What was that?” Tamara asked. 

“That sounded like a gun,” Tim stated as he drove. 

You stayed on the phone with them until they had gotten there. You had hung up the phone once they arrived, You could hear the gunshots coming from outside, meaning that Lucy and Tim’s presence wasn’t welcomed. Sirens were coming from the distance, you felt a little at ease knowing that backup was coming. 

Still, you remained in the bathroom until it was safe. The shots subsided and you heard footsteps within the house. A few seconds later someone knocked on the door, “Y/N?” Tim called out. 

You quickly got up from your position in the bathtub and opened the door. Before Tim could even react, you had your arms wrapped around his torso, he let out a relieved sigh as he hugged you back. 

“I’m sorry,” you cried out. 

“It’s okay,” He said as he gently rubbed your back. “It’s alright, let’s just go home.” 

You agreed, following him outside. You looked around for Jacob, making eye contact with him as he sat inside one of the shops. Tim had noticed, he knew that you needed this closure with your past, “hey, roll down the window,” he told the officer who sat inside the shop. He did as he was told. 

Jacob stayed silent, “I guess this is goodbye,” you began to say. 

“Next time, stay out of this neighborhood,” he warned. You gave him a nod, “And if there is a next time, I probably won’t be as inviting.” 

Tim gestured for the cop to roll up the window, he knew you didn’t need to hear more. “There won’t be a next time,” you whispered as you walked away from the shop. 

“Y/n!” you heard Tamara call out. 

“Tamara!” You ran up to her, she engulfed you in a hug. “I’m sorry for everything I said.” 

“It’s the past now,” she said. “Let’s just forget about it,” she said as she let go of the hug. 

“Tamara is gonna take you home until my end of shit,” Tim stated. “We’ll talk then, alright?” 

You gave him a nod, following Tamara to her car. 

“If there is anything I learned today, it’s that the past is the past,” you said once you got in the car. “And you’re right, I’m not the same girl I was a year ago.” 

“We’re lucky,” Tamara began, “Not a lot of us get this opportunity in life and when we do, we do everything we can to not go back.” Tamara started the car. You knew that you wouldn’t come back to this life, but something within you was going to miss it. Miss the little moments of happiness that made you feel like you had a home, but now you had an actual home. It wasn’t the ideal home, but it was a home and you had someone who gave you a sense of family even if it wasn’t picture-perfect. 

[magicalbats]

Kinktober 2024 Day 3: Al-Haitham x Reader

Rating: R-18+

Word Count: 6757

Warnings: Afab!reader, gendered language, power dynamics, petplay, collaring, predicament bondage, spanking, vaginal fingering, tail butt plug, object insertion

A/N: A few people asked for a follow up to Al-Haitham's piece from last years Kinktober and I'm personally always glad for any excuse to write about more petplay scenarios, so here we are! I hope everyone enjoys! 🫣

⭐

“So,” He intones, casually slouched to one side so he can brace his shoulder against the door jamb. With his arms crossed over his chest he looked the picture-perfect image of idle, confident arrogance standing there before you in the faint glow of a nearby street lamp. It was enough to almost make you sick. “You really decided to muster up the courage and come here after all. Consider me impressed.” 

Hands balled into tight, sweaty fists in the front of your breezy skirt, you pointedly keep your eyes downcast so you won’t have to look him in the face. Damn Al-Haitham and damn you for being fool enough to go through with this stupid idea. Hadn’t he humiliated you more than enough the last time? 

“Is that alright? I could always come back some other day …” 

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re already here, why send you away?” Straightening up, Al-Haitham shifts to the side to unblock the entrance to his home and grant you entry despite looking anything but welcoming. “Come in. And try not to look so scared.” 

You can feel your cheeks quickly growing hot enough to fry an egg on but you stubbornly shove aside all the uncertainty and ill opinions you had of the scribe in favor of focusing only on your objective. Of course that was in many ways exactly what had gotten you into this mess in the first place, yet it seemed you still hadn’t quite learned your lesson. You wouldn’t have shown up at his doorstep like this otherwise. 

Steeling yourself, you stiffly move forward to shuffle past him to stand just inside his foyer while he closes the door behind you. His home isn’t particularly large but it's finely furnished and surprisingly quaint in its own way. You wonder at that as you take in the decor, noticing an odd disconnect between one piece of furniture or knickknack and the next. While some of it was quite stylish other bits and bobbles leaned more towards an eclectic taste that didn’t seem to match. 

And then your eyes land on the neatly lined up row of shoes just off the main entrance. 

Two different sizes. 

“Don’t worry. My roommate is out on business tonight.” He says, supplying an answer to the unasked question, and you bring your head up with a quick snap. 

“I didn’t know you had a roommate.” 

His hand is suddenly right in front of your face when you turn towards him, making you startle, but he merely slips those long fingers underneath your chin to further nudge your attention up at him. Verdant gaze studying you closely, Al-Haitham searches your expression for a drawn out beat — for what, you do not know — before deigning to speak again. “Well, I do. Have one I mean. He won’t be bothering us any time soon though, so tell me what it is you want.” 

Your natural disinclination for him quickly rears its ugly head, and you narrow your eyes up at him in annoyance. “How do you know I want something?” 

“Please. You wouldn’t have come here if you didn’t. Now spill it.” 

Clicking your tongue, you irritably pull away from him and take a step back to put some distance between you two. Hopefully that would be enough to give you a chance to think straight, even though it was clear you hadn’t been doing much of that at all recently. “Look. I know you and I don’t exactly get along even under the best of circumstances but … do you recall what you said to me back in the Grand Sage’s office?” 

“My office, at least for the moment, and yes. I said a great many things to you that day. Which are you referring to specifically?” 

“Gods, you’re such an ass.” You murmur, wondering why you’d even come here when you knew good and well how he was. It’s much too late to start giving this second thoughts though, so you lift your chin in defiance of his surly attitude. “Correct me if I’m wrong, Acting Grand Sage, but I believe you told me I could come to you if I ever wanted a refresher course on our last — lesson. Does that offer still stand?” 

“Oh?” Looking really quite smug now, Al-Haitham allows his roguish mouth to curl into a brief smirk. “Is this supposed to be your way of asking nicely for something? Gotta’ say, your methods could still use some work but I can see we’re making progress. It’s better than the last time, at least.” 

“Are you going to answer the question or not?” You demand, feeling your jittery nerves start to get the better of you. 

If you’d had any other option here you would have gladly taken it before ever subjecting yourself to this particular man’s presence ever again but you just couldn’t seem to stop thinking about the time you’d spent with him in his office. By the end of it you’d been all but preening at his soft spoken praise only to then be cast back out into the real world where people in polite society didn’t talk to each other like that. It was maddening in the worst possible way. 

Worst of all, he still hadn’t signed off on that damn expense sheet even after saying he’d give it another look and yet that seemed to be the farthest thing from your mind anymore. The only thing you really wanted at this point was to experience the same warm buzz of satisfaction you’d felt when he spoke to you in that uncharacteristically soft, doting manner as before. Was that seriously too much to ask for? 

“Just relax. We really need to work on that impatient streak of yours.” He says, evidently recognizing the frazzled look on your face for what it is. “And don’t worry, my offer still stands. I’ll play with you again. Good timing, actually. I recently bought a few things at the bazaar that I think you might like.” 

���Huh?” You blurt, turning to follow him with your eyes when he brushes past you into the rest of the house. “Don't tell me you actually knew I’d come here like this?” 

“That’s a bit of a stretch. All I did was calculate the odds that you would eventually decide to seek me out again, so the expense was justifiable despite being preemptive. Get undressed while I grab everything and wait for me until I get back.” 

And just like that he’s gone, disappeared down the hallway into a room on the far end of the house by the sound of it. 

For a long moment you just stand there, too stunned at Al-Haitham’s gall to take action. You weren’t sure who he thought he was but as usual it was already giving you a headache. Nothing ever went as you hoped it would whenever he was involved. 

Rousing yourself though, you quickly get to work. Far be it that you were any more comfortable with the thought of being naked in front of him than you were the first time, but you’d known what you were signing up for when you chose to come to him like this. And you’re glad to find it’s a little easier without him standing there, looming over you like some scrutinizing gargoyle while more and more of your body is slowly revealed to him, so there was that perk. If anything you were just glad he hadn’t sent you away. 

But once you find yourself standing nude in his living room some of the uncertainty starts to come back. Just what the hell were you doing here? And how were you supposed to position yourself, should you sit or stand? Did he expect you to seamlessly fall into the role of obedient dog again even if he wasn’t there to guide you through the process like before? 

There was no clear cut solution to any of these problems you now faced, and you at last decide to err on the side of caution. You would prostrate yourself for him, since he seemed to get so much satisfaction out of that, but you’d wait for further instruction before doing anything else. It was undeniably silly, but you didn’t want to seem too eager. 

Thus when Al-Haitham returns after another moment or two, he finds you kneeling on the ornate rug laid out across the floor with your legs neatly folded underneath you. He noises a soft sound of acknowledgement as he strides across the room and you attentively zero in on the wooden box he’s got in his hands. 

“What’s that?” You chance to ask, earning a quick, vaguely amused look from him. 

“I wasn’t aware dogs knew how to speak to ask such questions of their masters.” 

Flushing all over again, you breathe out a soft huff through your nose but remain otherwise silent. You’re much more interested in observing him anyway, particularly when he sinks down to sit on the nearby sofa before placing that mysterious box next to him on the cushions. 

Then the full brunt of his attention is back on you. “Come here.” He commands, indicating the spot next to his feet. 

You catch yourself starting to prickle, your pride almost getting the better of you once again, but you quietly remind yourself that this was what you’d wanted. After being hounded by indecent thoughts for weeks now, all of them revolving around the scribe, there was no point making any qualms about it or pretending otherwise. 

So you somewhat grudgingly shift forward to brace on your hands and knees before crawling over to him. You’re acutely aware of the sway of your breasts while you do so, particularly when he was watching you do it and no doubt seeing every little detail of your body in this humiliating position, both the good and the bad. The crippling note of self consciousness that shudders through you is not nearly enough to douse your anticipatory excitement though, and you hesitantly tip your face towards him as you shuffle up to the sofa, earning a nod of approval. 

“Sit.” 

Obediently plopping your ass down on the carpet, you make a point of straightening your back for him to push your bare tits up and out. You felt incredibly foolish for being so concerned about his opinion of your body but that lingering sense of stubborn combativeness quickly fades when he reaches out to pet over your head with an indulgent gesture. 

“Good girl. I have something for you.” 

Feeling fuzzy and warm, you blink up at Al-Haitham through the growing fog as he reaches for the box. That he makes a point of opening the lid towards you so that you can’t see what’s hidden inside almost manages to annoy you but you quickly stamp it down in favor of simply watching him. With a faint rustle, he lifts what you immediately recognize to be a collar from inside and silently presents it to you, just observing your reaction. 

The flustered look on your face must be an interesting one though, because he chuckles a brief laugh only a moment later. “Do you know what this is?” 

Reluctantly nodding, you shoot him a wary look. 

“Excellent. Then I shouldn’t have to waste any time on explaining it.” 

His large, dexterous hands get to work on unfastening the little eyelet so he can pull it open while you frantically try to rationalize this in your mind. Unaware of how hard your heart is pounding in your chest, he leans down to wrap the surprisingly thick band of leather around your throat so he can secure it into place at the back and you just sit there as if in a numb stupor while he does it. 

You couldn’t believe this was really happening … 

“As long as you’re wearing this,” He drawls, still fiddling with the catch to ensure it was sufficiently snug on your neck. “You’ll be my pet and I expect you to act accordingly. I won’t hesitate to punish you if you misbehave but … I also won’t hesitate to reward you either. We can play this game as long as you’d like, and when I take this off we’ll go back to our usual roles. No questions asked. Does that sound fair to you?” 

You slowly nod your agreement, suddenly finding it incredibly difficult to even think a coherent thought. As if being collared by him had effectively pulled a hazy, disarming shroud over your head, you were struggling to formulate anything at all in your mind when the only thing you could seem to focus on was the brush of his hands against your skin, the smell of him. The domineering way he’s leaned over you from his elevated position and the close proximity that came with it. You’d understood on some innate, instinctive level that you wanted him to subjugate you to his will again but you hadn’t expected it to have such an all encompassing effect on you. It was as if your higher functioning ego was slowly slipping away, like sand through your fingertips. 

And when he at last deems the collar to be adequately secured, leaning back to look at you with an unreadable expression, you positively quake under the spotlight of his attention. Al-Haitham may have been able to irritate you far beyond what any other person had ever accomplished, but when he looked at you like that … Archon’s, you would have done anything he asked of you if it only meant he’d praise you for it. 

“You’re certainly being good this evening. Guess you must have really needed this.” His eyelashes drooping to attractive half mast to mirror a very small fraction of the anticipation you were currently feeling, he reaches out to casually flick at the metal ringlet attached to the front of your new collar. “It’s just as I thought. Pink really does suit you. That being said, you have no idea how long it actually took me to find one of these in this color. You should probably thank me for it.” 

You shoot a quick, hungry look at his lap, the muscles in your legs already bracing to lean forward and put your mouth on him, but he stops you in your tracks with another quiet chuckle. 

“Not like that, though I do appreciate your enthusiasm. As long as you continue to be good for me I think we’ll be just fine.” Straightening up from his comfortable slouch, Al-Haitham then reaches back into the box to dig for something else. The sound of metal clinking together makes your heart skip a beat and you anxiously fidget there on the floor while he pulls out a long, complicated string of chains that all seem to connect in the same spot. 

Having no idea what to make of it, you blithely glance up at him in question. 

“This is to help you stay in position. Think of it like a training aide.” 

Evidently that’s all the explanation you’re going to get and you swallow hard, nearly choking on your nerves, when he leans down again. With a simple gesture of his hand, Al-Haitham secures the topmost latch to the front of your collar. The links are slight enough that it doesn’t add much additional weight to your neck, which you’re rather grateful for, but you can tell that they’re still sturdy enough not to break easily.

You start to understand what’s happening in a far off, dreamy sort of way when he reaches for one of your hands next. Directing it up to about chest level, he makes quick work of securing the thin cuff on one of the other trailing chains around your wrist to keep it elevated, lest you pull unnecessarily on the collar should you try to bring it back down again. He repeats the process on the other side to leave you in an approximation of the same begging position he’d made you assume last time, and you just let him do it because … you have no idea why. 

By all accounts this should have been setting off every single alarm bell in your head but it just doesn’t. If anything, your fast thrumming excitement only ratchets up another notch to leave you all but vibrating there at his feet. 

And when he finally settles back to take up the last chain, this one longer than all the rest, you immediately recognize what it is. A leash. One that he wraps the excess length around his knuckles before slowly tugging on it to pull you up to your knees. A shuddering moan slips out as you rock forward under the steady guidance of his gentle yet insistent pulling with your hands uselessly restrained in front of your chest. This was so incredibly dehumanizing … 

“Good girl. You look lovely like this.” His mouth faintly curling again, Al-Haitham reaches out his opposite hand to casually flick his finger back and forth over one of your tightly coiled nipples. “Feeling comfortable?” 

Helplessly mewling, you force your sluggish head to bob in agreement. This was too much and yet somehow not nearly enough at the same time. You felt like you were going mad. 

“On the floor then. All the way.” 

Tense and shirking, you slowly ease back to sit on your haunches before carefully leaning forward to brace your arms on the rug. You have to go slow or risk yanking on your collar, and the insidious nature of this set up quickly makes itself known. Not only were you effectively restrained and at his mercy like this, but the short length of the chains forces you down close to the ground to leave your backside pointed up in the air. Completely defenseless and vulnerable. He could have done anything at all to you in this position. 

The thought alone is enough to make you tremble uncontrollably, and you suck in a deeply frazzled breath when you feel him lean over you again. His hand finds your ass to smooth over it before giving you an encouraging pat that only seems to rush straight to your slicking cunt, making you whine low in your throat. What was he going to do to you when the possibilities seemed limitless and each one made you feel that much more desperate than the last? 

You soon get your answer when he silently withdraws his palm only to bring it back down on the meat of your backside in a stinging, hard handed swat. The suddenness of the slap shocks you more than the actual sharp burst of pain does, and you rock forward with a startled squeak. But he’s quick to do it again, targeting the other cheek this time, to make you mewl and fitfully squirm on the floor. 

“Don’t move.” He warns, giving the now aching skin a mean squeeze. “I’m just going to get you warmed up first before the main event, but if you decide not to be good for me I’ll have to really punish you. Surely you don’t want that, do you?” 

Half delirious, you slowly shake your head and the resulting clink of the chains rattling with the motion further highlights your position here. Even if you’d wanted to fight it there was nothing you could do with your hands secured as they were, nowhere for you to run when you were stark naked and effectively trapped in his home. All you can do is kneel there and take it, feeling your ass jolt in the air when he brings his hand down again to spank across your sit spots in rapid succession before focusing back in on the fattest part of your behind. 

What was initially a briefly sharp starburst of pain quickly morphs into a constant, throbbing sting that seems to spread across your whole backside while he peppers back and forth between your cheeks over the next some odd minutes. It seems to stretch on for an eternity but, logically, you knew it must have only lasted for a short while. Just enough to warm up the skin and leave it tender in the wake of his hand. That’s what he’d said, anyway. 

And you’re so far gone in the hazy stupor you’d slipped into that you couldn’t even fully grasp just how humiliating this really was. Being forced into such a position with your ass shamelessly presented for him to do whatever he liked and yet he chose to spank you. You’d probably be furious with him later on, and rightfully so, but in this particular moment the only thing you can bring yourself to care about is how turned on it was making you. 

The single other instance you could recall where you’d been quite this worked up was the last time you and him had played this game, sequestered away in the relative privacy of the Grand Sage’s office. Never before and never since. 

Here you had real privacy though and a much smaller chance of discovery, particularly if what he’d said about his mysterious roommate being out for the night was true. And it’s clear Al-Haitham plans to take full advantage of the freedom allotted to him by doing this in his own home, because no sooner does he finally pull his hand from your throbbing ass do you feel his fingers descend upon your cunt. 

Yelping a mindless sound of startled delight, you eagerly arch your spine and rear back on his hand in humble supplication for more. He laughs a low, rumbling sound at the display even as the rough pads of his fingertips skirt down the seam of your labia to rub sedate circles over your clit. The gesture quickly makes you realize exactly how soaked you are with copious arousal when he smears it across your pussy lips in the process, making an even bigger mess of you. 

Bless the gods, but you were going to cum in record time. 

“I wish you could see yourself right now, trembling like that with my handprints all over your ass. If it weren’t for your usual attitude I’d even say you look like you were made for this. Do you enjoy it when I touch you here?” 

You let out a needy, faltering groan and jerk your head in a quick nod, making the chains jostle again. 

“Then let me hear you, darling girl. Speak.” 

It’s a real struggle to think clearly when he was still intently drawing his fingers over that sensitive pleasure button but your cotton stuffed head somehow manages to parse what he was asking of you. It was the same as last time. The same ‘trick’ he’d taught you in his office. The memory of idiotically barking like a dog had kept you awake many a night since, and not for the reasons you would have liked … 

You absolutely hate how much it excites you, your cheeks flushing incomprehensibly hotter even as you hang your head low and force out a weak, “Wh - woof!” 

“Oh? Is this not to your liking? My apologies then. Perhaps you want it here instead?” Abandoning your clit, Al-Haitham trails his fingers further up to your entrance where he quickly sinks one of those sinuously long digits into your cunt, forcing the inner sleeve of your body to stretch open around him. 

Stiffly lurching at the unexpected penetration and the jolt of friction that comes with it, you desperately ball your hands into tight fists against the rug in an attempt to ground yourself. “Woof! Woof wh - oof! Ahhn!” 

“Mmm, pretty sounds for a pretty girl. And so tight too. Don’t tell me you haven’t been playing with yourself at all since our last session? Too embarrassed or … were you just waiting for me to be the one to play with this needy little pussy for you?” 

You try to bark again, knowing he was likely to stop if you didn’t, but you can’t quite seem to find enough oxygen to do so. Your lungs were constricting much too tight with the short, labored gasps you rapidly suck in as the tension inside your cunt dizzyingly swells to near discomfort. You were beyond soaked, and the sticky wet clicks he pulls from your shuddering body when he adds a second finger only attests to that. The obscene schlucking sound that starts up when he begins to fuck you with them seems to echo in the space between your ears, adding to the total onslaught to your senses. All you could do was squeal helpless, dire tinged animal noises into the static charged room while he mercilessly pounds into you from behind. 

“Are you going to cum for me already, sweetheart? Gonna’ squirt all over this carpet just like you did on the one in my office? Huh?” 

He doesn’t give you a chance to respond, neither slowing down nor ceasing his ministrations for even a moment, and your eyes soon begin to roll back when your impending orgasm suffocatingly bears down on you. The building pressure was too much, the deliberate jabs of his fingers far too concentrated on that receptive bundle of nerves within you. Your body simply couldn’t take it even as you continue to gush excessively around the intrusion, and then all at once the scales seem to tip. 

You cum with a shuddering jerk, frantically wailing in pleasure when you feel your pussy give out to release a fresh deluge of slick. Screwing your eyes shut, you deliriously ride out the juddering waves of pleasure that sweep over you in a torrent as your squeezing cunt uncontrollably erupts around Al-Haitham’s fingers, having once again expertly coaxed you to this unseemly state. It was like being stretched too thin on such a bone deep level that by the time you finally start to come down from the reeling high another moment later you barely even know who you are anymore. 

All that seems to register in your punchdrunk mind is his unmistakably masculine presence hovering over you, his hand slowly withdrawing from your cunt with a messy wet slurp that makes you sensitively twitch. The smell of him, his taste on the back of your tongue. In retrospect it was no wonder just that one fateful encounter with him had ruined you so irreparably. 

How in the world had you not seen it sooner? He was the singularly most infuriating man you’d ever met, yes, but he was also the only person you’d ever known who seemed to understand you better than you understood yourself. You hadn’t even thought you were capable of squirting before this. Damn him. 

Issuing a groggy groan into the rug, you slowly begin to stir from your semi comatose state. You weren’t sure when exactly you’d pressed your cheek into the floor but you force your head up as primly as you can manage given the circumstances. And still trembling with the lingering remnants of your release, you shoot a cautious look underneath you only to grimace when you spot the telltale wet stains bleeding into the carpet. Unfortunately you’re not allowed much of a chance to recover or find your bearings though, and you give a faint hiss when Al-Haitham nudges your attention up at him with a firm tug to the leash. 

That he still looks frustratingly cool and collected despite everything that had just transpired bothers you a great deal but you stubbornly keep those thoughts to yourself. He was going to get an ear full from you later. The least he could have done was put a towel down instead of purposely embarrassing you like this again! 

“Doing good so far?” Luckily he seems to take your nod at face value, and he reaches out to brush a bit of hair away from your face with an unexpectedly tender stroke of his hand. “Good. I’ve got something else for you, if you feel up to it.” 

Rousing from your hazy delirium a bit more, you somewhat roughly clear your throat after not using your voice for so long before venturing to speak. “I know I’m supposed to be playing a role here but I have to ask. When exactly did you find the time to plan all of this? You seem suspiciously well prepared.” 

“It’s not so much that I planned it, but rather I simply followed through on an idea that already existed.” He says, earning a skeptical lift of your brow, and he quietly clicks his tongue when he realizes he’s going to have to offer up a better explanation than that. “You seem to remember everything else I said the last time so I’m surprised you don’t recall this. I told you if I’d had some warning beforehand I would have purchased a few things in advance. Well, I decided that I wouldn’t be caught unawares again. If you came to me I  wanted to be ready.”

“The collar.” You murmur, idly reaching up to touch it with a brief rattle of the connecting chain. “You did say that, didn’t you? What else do you have in there?” 

“Want to find out?” 

Shooting him a wary glance, you consider your options here. It sounded like he’d let you go if that was what you wanted after already having gotten off once, which was unexpectedly conscientious of him, but … were you really satisfied with just that? You’d thought about this almost nonstop for weeks and now that you were in front of him, collared and kneeling at his feet, you weren’t so sure you were ready to call it a night just yet. 

Besides, he still hadn’t made any attempt to see to his own needs and the low simmering pulse in your cunt hadn’t been fully satiated. Perhaps if you played along a little longer he’d stretch you out and stuff you full with something hopefully a bit more substantial than his fingers. A girl could certainly hope, at least. 

“Alright. I’m listening.”

“That's a good pet.” He murmurs, sticking his hand out to lightly palm over your head and you don’t stop long enough to reconsider it before nuzzling into the gesture with a soft purr. It seemed your earlier impression was correct. As long as he kept praising you, you’d do anything he wanted. 

Pulling back, Al-Haitham directs his attention back around to the contents of the box again. You listen to him dig for something, wondering how many items he’d actually purchased for the sake of being prepared, but you can’t quite see what he finally pulls out from your position on the floor. Even when you try to crane your neck up for a quick look the only thing you can make out is him fiddling with something. 

“This might be a bit cold at first.” He warns. 

That’s all the notice you get before he leans over you, hand stretching out on a sure and steady trajectory towards your backside, and you outright squawk when you feel him smear something sticky over your asshole. He does it so casually, such idle surety in the motion, that it sends your heart shooting up into your throat. 

Mewling a soft sound of confusion, you shudderingly try to twist around on the floor to see what he’s doing but he just follows you when you angle away. His ministrations don’t even falter while he continues to smear that mysterious wet goop over your puckered hole to thoroughly coat you in it, your uncertainty growing by the second when understanding starts to dawn. 

Surely he wasn’t — 

“Don’t tense up. You need to relax.” He murmurs, slowly rubbing over your ass with concentrated strokes now to encourage the muscle to loosen. 

Oh, he most certainly was. 

“W - w - wha - -“ 

“No words now, pretty girl. Unless it’s to tell me to stop and that you don’t want to do this anymore, I’m not interested in hearing it. You’re going to be a good pet for me, aren’t you?” 

Whimpering, you screw your eyes shut and try to focus on your breathing. That was easier said than done though, of course. You weren’t used to being touched like this and the prospect of having something inserted up your ass makes you far more nervous than anything else he’s done to you this evening. But it’s clear that was what he’s working his way up to, especially when he starts to carefully prod at the center wrinkle where the tight muscle begins to slacken and give way. He only taunts you with it though, never quite fully slipping his finger inside to penetrate you, and instead he focuses on merely teasing around the interior rim. 

You quickly realize he’s making sure you’re as well coated with that slippery lubricant on the inside as you are on the outside, and it becomes that much harder to keep your head on straight. 

Positively squirming when he at last pulls away some time later to leave your asshole sticky and loosened, you seethe into the rug while you listen to him dig something else out of the box. You have a few guesses in mind, naturally, but nothing quite prepares you for when you crack your eyes open at his behest only to find him dangling a long, fluffy tail in front of your face. 

Attached to the other end is what you can safely assume to be a plug based off the smooth, rounded tip that widens out into a bulbous base before then narrowing down to a thinner stem. The faux fur appendage dangles tauntingly from the bottom of it, and you softly groan at the full bodied shudder that tears through you. He really was going to put that thing inside your body. 

“Take a deep breath for me and let it out slowly. That’s it. Again. Such a good girl you’re being. I want you to focus on relaxing into it and bear down when I tell you to, alright?” 

At your faltering nod of understanding, in far too deep to back out now, Al-Haitham scoots to the very edge of the sofa and leans over you again. Using one hand to spread your sore cheeks open, he brings the plug close with the opposite to gently touch you with it. You jolt at the contact like he’d electrocuted you but quickly still again with an anxious little sob. Helpless to do anything else, you just kneel there at his feet and accept what’s happening while he lazily draws the toy through the excess lubricant he’d smeared all over you. 

When he finally starts to push in on the slackened pucker after another drawn out moment you go stockstill at the unfamiliar pressure, gasping roughly into the carpet. He softly tuts at you, encouraging you to calm down with soft words of praise, but it’s hard. Almost impossible when this was completely foreign to you and the slow stretch of yet untested muscle seems so debilitatingly sharp even in your punchdrunk state that you don’t know what to make of it. 

It doesn’t hurt though, you’re quite relieved to find. Just uncomfortable and more than a little strange, particularly when you could feel your asshole slowly losing the fight. There was too much lube for you to reject it and keep him out, the plug sufficiently smooth to make the penetration more of an easy glide than you’d expected it to be. In tortuous slow motion, he makes you take one millimeter at a time until your hole is stretched wide around the thickest part before gradually pulling back to repeat the process. 

Again and again, he makes your body open up to him before at last issuing the command for you to push. You almost don’t do it, unsure if you even could when the once tight ring of muscle felt so horribly strained, but with a low groan you comply. At the same time you bear down on the intrusion he gives it a quick push, and all at once the whole thing slips inside you straight down to the base. You rock forward with a haggard gasp, mindlessly jutting your ass up in the air as you weakly squeeze around the narrow stem only to realize that it was already too late. 

The toy was firmly wedged inside you now and taking up space that only seems to highlight how very empty your pussy is. He pulls back to admire his handiwork, letting the long tail settle against your soaked cunt with a faint brush of the fur. Trembling almost violently, you dig your toes into the rug and nudge your pelvis up as if you were little more than a bitch begging to be mounted. 

You really didn’t want to think about how apt that comparison actually was right now. 

“Just look at you, darling girl. I can tell how much you’re enjoying this from here,” He says, breaking through the delirium just enough for you to pick up on the vague note of satisfied awe creeping into his voice. Like he couldn’t believe you’d really allowed this to go so far, or maybe he was just finally starting to notice the effect this was having on his own body. It was hard to say with him. 

Groaning fitfully, you press your hot face into the ornate rug and give your ass a brief, supplicating shake. The tail shifts with the motion where it dangles down between your legs, brushing your pussy just so, but it’s not nearly enough to feel good. If anything it just makes you more desperate for his attention, his hand, his cock. Whatever he wanted to give you would have sufficed.

But of course Al-Haitham doesn’t relent and give you what you want. He never does, not directly anyway, and you seethe through your teeth when you feel him stand up from the sofa to loom over you. 

“Sit for me.” 

Blinking through the disorienting fog, you gingerly comply. Push up onto your forearms and get your knees adjusted under you before slowly sitting upright even when you dizzily sway with the motion. The change in position seems to make the plug feel even bigger where it’s keeping your ass stretched open around its width, and you faintly groan at the sensation. 

Al-Haitham is as unreasonable and demanding as ever though, and he barely allows you enough time to get situated in front of him before issuing his next command. “Good. Now beg.” 

The mere thought of assuming that position again makes you wince, your body already a mess of aches and pains, and throbbing arousal, but you comply with this too. It takes a bit of effort on your part to get your legs to cooperate but you eventually manage, somehow. 

And once you’re squatted before him, precariously balancing on your toes with your hands securely fastened up by your chest, you look to him for his next order. You no longer have any wherewithal left to feel at all embarrassed or ashamed of having your cunt on display like this, nor do you have it in you to second guess any of it. All you knew with certainty was that you were drowning in it, this hazy feeling of absolution that seemed to rend you to pieces and mend you back together again in the same breath. Perhaps it was a bit fatalistic, yes, but you’d never felt quite so sexually satisfied in all your life. 

Especially when he smiles, pinning you with one of those exceedingly rare, genuine little tugs of his mouth to indicate that he was pleased with you. It’s fleeting and short lived but you don’t miss it by a long shot as he proceeds to gently pull on your leash to make sure he’s got your attention.  

“Wag for me, pretty girl? Think you can do that?” 

You don’t stop to rethink this either. You just do it, struggling to shake your ass in this awkward balancing act to feel the tail swishing back and forth on the floor underneath you. It’s humiliating and dehumanizing in equal measure, but you would have gladly done that and so much more just to earn another doting pet of his hand, another soft word from his mouth. 

Al-Haitham had awakened something inside you that day in his office, and now you were his responsibility. For better or worse, he was your master and you his obedient, loyal pet.

⭐

Crossposted: here