#for work (i am unemployed) or 3) it’s a hobby and if they think it’s for a hobby hopefully they do not ask to read anything!

[strawberrybyers]

posted on facebook an image from one of the sets of stranger things to see if any of my 80’s babies/children/teens/adults fam members or whoever might be familiar with the lore and give me the insight.

i wrote out the post so formal though so they couldn’t get a whiff of the fact i am not asking because i intend to write an article for cinemablend but instead for my tumblr blog so my fellow mentally ill queers and i can go insane over a piece of prop to prove one of the hundreds of theories we all have ping ponging between us

[bobaboob]

stardew valley canon-ish ages

My take, anyway. I tried to base this as much on canon evidence as possible, but I am 21 myself, so this will likely be influenced a little by that.

So, from youngest to oldest, starting with the children:

KIDS (0-18)

Vincent: (8-9) He’s old enough to have remembered Kent well before he was deployed 3 years ago, but young enough to care mostly about himself still (like most kids before 10-11).

Jas: (9-10) She’s clearly really intelligent (see Penny’s lines about her), and old enough to understand what happened to her parents/why she lives with Marnie and Shane, but she still plays with dolls and jump ropes in her spare time, so I feel like this is a good age for her.

Leo: (11-12) He’s just a little guy. He remembers his life before washing up on Ginger Island, and speaks to the player like they’re equals moreso than the other kids, but he’s young enough to have a crush on Jas and be unsure of the world. A little guy. 

BACHELORS AND BACHELORETTES (19-40ish)

Younger (<27):

Sam: (20-22) The youngest bachelor, and with clear evidence. Kent has been deployed for 3 years when he returns in Year 2, and he claims Sam has “become a man” since he’s been gone. I took this to mean he literally came of age, but it could also mean ‘become an adult’ in mindset or appearance. Either way, he’s probably not much older than his early twenties.

Abigail: (20-22) The youngest bachelorette. Abigail’s graduation party is mentioned in one of Emily’s voice lines as having happened sometime in the recent past before the farmer showed up. Since she’s currently enrolled in online college courses (see her and Caroline's voice lines), this is referring to her high school graduation. Like Sam, she’s also more childlike in mindset than some of the other marriage candidates.

Maru: (21-23) I think Maru is a recent college graduate (and knowing Maru, it likely took her less than the full four years). She seems content working in her father’s lab and the clinic for now, and seems to have no designs on grad school anytime soon, or a career outside of the valley. Furthermore, she’s the youngest child of her and Sebastian, who judging by their relationship is probably several years older than her. That places her in her early twenties as well.

Alex: (21-23) Alex mentions high school like it wasn’t that long ago in his lines about being on varsity. Even assuming Alex’s mother Clara had him young, given that his grandparents are able to live, clean, cook, and travel on their own, it makes sense for him to be in his twenties. He also aspires to go pro in gridball, which places him just out of range of college gridball but before he would be considered ‘out of his prime’ in IRL football terms. Plus, his only job is the ice cream stand in the summer, so he’s likely not in the career-seeking stage of his life.

Penny: (24-25) With Jas and Vincent being in the 3rd-4th grade range, it’s likely Penny has been teaching them for a few years now. Her shy demeanor and social skills might be indications of youth, or she might just be like that naturally. Regardless, I don’t believe that she’s older than 25, as she appears to still have trouble standing up to her mother and she’s still very optimistic about the future, given her circumstances. She could feasibly be older, but it feels to me like she’s one of the younger bachelorettes.

Haley: (24-26) Haley’s old enough to ‘know better’ in her attitude in early dialogue and heart events that she later regrets. She and Emily’s parents also seem to have no qualms about leaving them alone and in charge of their property. However, like Sebastian and Maru, I think there’s several years between Haley and Emily by how they interact and speak of each other. A lot of Haley’s hobbies are also that of a young unemployed person (shopping, sunbathing, etc.), and she hasn’t yet learned to cook or clean for herself at the start of the game. All of this puts her in her mid-twenties to me.

Older (>27):

Sebastian: (27-29) Like I said, he and Maru seem to be several years apart. He already has significant skill in programming, and hates that no one seems to ‘respect’ his work, so he takes pride in his career. He still hangs out with Sam and Abby, and hasn’t seemed to save enough money to move out of his parents’ house, so I doubt he’s thirty yet. Other than that, I have no proof but vibes. He feels like late twenties to me.

Emily: (30-32) Definitely one of the older bachelorettes. She’s one of the most mature in terms of emotions and conflict, and her parents left both Haley and their house to her charge. She’s clearly old enough to bartend, and be friends with Shane and Clint, two men likely in their mid-thirties. She could easily be older than this, but I don’t think the age gap between her and Haley is more than six or so years, so I’m putting her in her early thirties.

Leah: (32-34) Old enough to have had a long-term romantic relationship several years in the past (as she moved here after Kel, and she’s been here some time already). She’s also had years to practice her art and make a career out of it, and the funds to own her own home. To me, the only real limit to her age is personal preference. For me, I think she’s in her mid-thirties, but like Emily, she could easily be older.

Elliott: (34-36) Confirmed ‘older’ in secret note #7, as with the next two. Has an established writing career and the money to own his own cabin. He also expresses discontent at the thought of growing “grow[ing] old as a lonely hermit.” Elliott is melodramatic by nature, though, and also claims to have only moved to the valley a year before the farmer. He could be older, but I think mid-thirties makes sense.

Shane: (33-37) Probably looks older than he is, thanks to his habits. He’s young enough to not have taken sole charge of Jas as her godfather when her parents died, but old enough to have been a legally viable guardian when it happened. Other than that, could be anywhere in his thirties.

Harvey: (38-42) Clearly one of, if not the, oldest bachelor. Medical school is eight years, plus a residency afterwards, and all before he moved to the valley. He also alludes to getting older several times and emphasizes the farmer’s comparative youth in several voice lines. Harvey is however old you want him to be, and to me that’s late thirties to early forties.

TOWNSFOLK (40ish - 80s)

Sandy: (28-36)* Could be anywhere in this age range for me. She’s friends with Emily, and owns her own shop, but that’s all we know. 

Clint: (35-38)* Other than Sandy, the only single character of ‘marriageable’ age who isn’t a marriage candidate. Judging by his demeanor and overall vibes, I don’t think he’s forty yet, but I do think he’s approaching it. He wonders how he ‘ended up’ in the valley and laments being lonely amongst a bunch of families at festivals, but he also sees Emily as a prospect and doesn’t hang out with the older crowd of townsfolk. Fittingly, Clint is at a sort of awkward in-between age of the young folk and everyone else. Poor guy.

Jodi: (38-40) Old enough to have a young adult son, young enough to dream about travelling and living for herself. I also subscribe to the headcanon that she and Kent had Sam young, just before Kent enlisted. 

Kent: (41-43) See Jodi. Old enough to be Sam’s father, young enough to still be considered for the draft.

Pam: (43-45) Stay with me. Like Shane, she definitely looks and acts older than she is because of her habits. I believe she had Penny young, like Jodi, which would explain more about her and Penny’s father’s dynamic. She could easily be older, but I think it’s more tragic if she isn’t.

Caroline: (45-48) Old enough to have a young adult daughter. Young enough, however, to have either had a daughter with Rasmodius or be the daughter he had, depending on your interpretation of the Wizard’s line about that.

Robin: (48-50) On her second marriage with two kids, one of whom in his late twenties. Still has no problem with her carpentry work, though, so probably not far into her fifties.

Demetrius: (45-50) Also on his second marriage (see books in bookcase in their bedroom), and Maru is at least 18. Could Demetrius be younger than Robin? That would be fun.

Pierre: (49-53) See Caroline. Has an established business in town and seems to have lived in the valley for a long time, hence why JojaMart is so heinous to him. Youthful enough to beat Morris’s ass in that one cutscene after you finish the community center, though.

Morris: (50-55) I dunno. Manager-aged.

Gus: (50-55) Both an established business owner and a friend to the older crowd. No grey in his hair or mustache. Pretty safely assumed as middle-aged.

Marnie: (52-56) Old enough to be the sister of one of Shane’s parents, and also old enough to find Lewis attractive. Young enough to have no problem doing her own farmwork (see line about spilling her cow’s milk bucket while milking).

Willy: (58-60) Could easily be older, but I like to think the sea-weathering makes him look older than he is. That said, he’s clearly one of the old-timers of the valley.

Gunther: (55-60) I dunno. Curator-aged.

Linus: (60-65) If you buy the headcanon about him being an ex-CEO, this age fits. Regardless, his hair is visibly white, but he’s limber enough to get around just fine.

Rasmodius: (60-65) See Caroline. Other than that, I dunno. Wizard-aged.

Marlon: (63-68) White-haired with a bad leg. Despite this, the only bed present in the adventurer’s guild is a bunkbed, and the guy he lives with uses a wheelchair, so we can maybe assume Marlon climbs up to the top bunk to sleep. Good for him? 

Lewis: (63-68) Grey-haired and old enough to have been in the valley when the farmer’s grandfather was living on the farm. Young enough to find Marnie attractive and garden his plant beds by himself.

Evelyn: (73-78) Also old enough to have known your grandfather. Pretty clearly an old lady. Still cooks for herself and George, though, and takes care of the town flower beds. Maybe not into her eighties yet.

George: (75-80) Pretty clearly an old guy. The mining accident that paralyzed him was thirty years ago, and before that he claims to have been just as capable and strong as the farmer, so I’d put him at 45-50 back then.

Gil: (75-80) Same as George. Maybe he was injured in the same accident. Visibly grey-haired and rarely leaves the adventurer’s guild, so probably pretty old.

[cursedwithcaution]

how do you manage to make a big and popular fic that gets tons of love and praise both on Tumblr and ao3? My story is so unpopular and not liked by anyone that's cool and I would literally do or give up anything to be big and feel as though what I'm putting out there actually matters. Asking because you seem to be big. Not sure if you can relate to being unpopularbut yeah

When I started writing Finding Palismen, I thought it would be a few thousand words that would stay in a private doc and never be seen by anyone. I was really nervous when I actually decided to upload it, I had no idea if anyone would read it, let alone like it and comment on it and share it. I was (and still am) so self-conscious when posting the links to it on Tumblr.

Honestly, I don't know how big/popular my fic is in comparison to other fics. Mostly because I made a conscious choice not to compare my numbers, especially at the beginning. I just focused on writing what I wanted to write, and it turns out that other people want to read it.

In terms of advice, I don't really know what specifically has made Finding Palismen as popular as it is, but here's what I've been doing that I think has helped:

Consistent/frequent updates. This is probably the biggest one. I update 2-3 times a week which is a lot and I don't think most people can or should try to do that (I am unemployed and have a lot of time to write). You have to figure out what works for you in this regard.

Quality writing. I'm a writer. I have had work published professionally. Writing has been my primary hobby for most of my life. I love writing, and I can confidently say I'm good at it. And also, I've gotten better as I've continued writing FP. So if you're not confident in your skills yet, keep working to improve (advice for that would be a whole other post).

Personal style. Finding Palismen is written entirely in 1st person perspective in the form of diary entries, which is not the most popular format/POV for fanfiction. But writing in 1st person is more natural for me, and the diary entries mean the POV is even more limited than typical 1st person. I think this gives the fic a distinct feel and makes it stand out. I'm not saying you should specifically write in that style, but that you can find a writing style, a preferred perspective/narration type, that works for you.

Taking risks. Finding Palismen took off in a new way when I decided to write about a subject I was scared to write about. I didn't know how it would be received, but it ended up being really appreciated by readers, and I do think that's part of why more people have been reading.

Reader interactions. I try to reply to comments as much as possible and I always thank my readers in the notes because I am very very grateful for them taking the time to read my work. And sometimes commenters have their own really incredible fics that I get to read and comment on! I feel especially lucky to have so many readers who comment. They are all very cool to me.

Passion. I care about this fic so much. I've put more of myself into it than I'd like to admit. I get excited writing it. I put care into how I write about certain subjects. I ramble in the notes about the process and references and little details. And I think that maybe that makes other people get excited about it too.

From the start, even before I decided to put it on Ao3 at all, I believed that this fic mattered. If I had a fraction of the hits/kudos/comments, I would still feel like it matters. If I didn't believe that, I wouldn't have posted it. I had to decide that if it matters to me, it matters.

The first fics I uploaded to Ao3 were one-shots for an extremely niche fandom. My most popular one is sitting at 61 hits. But the responses I got when I shared them in the Discord server were so encouraging and kind that I still get so happy thinking about them more than 2 years later.

It's okay to want more people to read and interact with your fic, but if that is your primary or only motivation you will just get sad and burn out. I feel extremely lucky to have so many people who comment on my fic. But to get there, I had to keep writing when I wasn't getting all those comments or hits or kudos. I had to write because I wanted to write.

If you want your creative works to matter to other people, they have to matter to you first.

[murdocs-sweetheart]

Get to know your mutuals

Tagged by @dastmalchiansnose !! Hii ! Tyy!! :D

———

What’s the origin of your blog title?

Well I just wanna start by giving an honorary mention to my former, longstanding url bc I had that one since this blog’s inception!

My former url, ‘selfindulgentfandomstuff’ was born of my half assed attempt at coming up with a blog name that indicated that I was a selfshipper and not just a normal fandom blog! I realize in hindsight, it probably did just the opposite haha! Still, it became kind of iconic amongst my mutuals/followers, I think, which is why I mention it haha!

My ACTUAL url as it is currently, ‘murdocs-sweetheart’, is the final nail in the metaphorical coffin that is my relationship with Murdoc (CBS MacGyver). I love that guy so so much and I wanted a url to reflect that yknow?

Favorite fandoms?

Alllll of Star Trek (but especially TNG, DS9, DISCO, LD) <- listed first bc even tho I don’t talk abt it much on this blog anymore, Star Trek is a core part of me in so many ways <3

CBS MacGyver

Villainous CN

Late Night With The Devil

Erhhmm probably more but I forgor and those are the main ones I suppose

Otp(s)/shipname?

Will I be crucified if I say my selfship with Murdoc?/hj I AM a selfship blog after all haha!!

For realsies tho, all my mutuals’ selfships and for canon x canon stuff, I gotta go with ‘Elim Garak x Julian Bashir’ aka Garashir. I drew a looooot of fanart for those two when I was younger haha!!

favorite color?

Any shade including and between blue and green. Cheating? Perhaps. Do I care? No :)

Favorite game?

The Star Trek Catan board game!! (There’s a theme here, are you noticing this?/silly)

Song stuck in your head

‘The Moral’ by Shayfer James

Weirdest habit/trait?

Oh man, I could be here all day listing stuff…autism moment. You understand/lh

I suppose the one that comes to mind has to be the way I sit when I draw. I CAN sit in other positions to draw but the way I CHOOSE to when I get to choose is … inexplicable to be quite honest 😭

hobbies?

Drawingggg (traditional and digital), jewelry crafting/beading, juijitsu (although truthfully I’m quite new at it so I’m not very good yet lol), umm I think that’s it.. I used to do archery?? I got pretty good too. Stopped bc I hit a rough patch that wouldn’t go away and took a break about it and haven’t gone back yet. :(

if you work, what’s your profession?

Unemployed babeyyyyy

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?

Well, my goal, right now, is to work in some kind of space exploration program. Not sure where, perhaps NASA but that feels a bit too lofty even for my fantasies haha! But for the purposes of this question, yes I suppose my dream job would be working as an astrophysicist at NASA or some comparable organization. (NOT SpaceX)

And I think my alternate, that I’m still equally enthused about- so much so that I added it here- is working in research in quantum physics. Particularly stuff in quantum field theory! Cliche, I know, eeeeverybody wants to do ✨Quantum Physics✨ now but idccc I love the subject so much!!

Something you’re good at?

Umm I’ve been TOLD I’m good at drawing?? Not really compared to people I see on the internet but I guess I could say that- drawing! OH oh ooohh I’m EXCELLENT at untying knots. Like weirdly good and fast at it. Weird flex, I know 😅

Something you’re bad at?

Lots and lots of things, my friend/lh

I guess I’m pretty sucks at maintaining friendships. Decent at MAKING friends! Not so much keeping them, y’know?

Something you love?

ANIMALSSS YAYYY particularly cats, crows and elephants!!!

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff?

Literally any of the stuff I’ve listed above. My fandoms, my selfships, my interest in physics, you get the gist! I’m a yapper at heart!

Something you hate?

Whatever the hells going on inside my brain with that moralistic OCD type shit 😭😭😭

Something you collect?

ROCKS. SHELLS. PLUSHIES. BOXES/CONTAINERS. NEED I GO ON? I loooove hoarding stuff haha!!

Something you forget?

Most people don’t really give a damn if I slip up in a social interaction <- social (among other types) anxiety disorder haver

What’s your love language?

Idk I think I like when people make a point of reassuring me I’m doing Okay, in their eyes, if that makes sense?

Favorite movie/show?

Well. You already know about my fav shows lol. I’ll say my fav movies have to be a tie between ‘The Secret of NIMH’ and ‘Everything Everywhere All At Once’!!

favorite food?

My mom’s Puffed Pancakes :))

Favorite animal?

Cats, probably. Particularly African Servals!!

Are you musical?

I mean, I love listening to music? Is that anything? Idk I sang in Glee club throughout my elementary school years but idk if I was actually any good, despite being praised by all the adults in my life for it haha!! You know how people are, trying to make kids feel better.

What were you like as a child?

Annoying. Next question.

Kidding!! I was just autistic and undiagnosed! I think I was a lot like I am now? Just. Smaller. Maybe a little less anxious. Maybe a little more ambitious. Who knows.

Favorite subject at school?

Sciencessss (I took all the available science courses at my high school in either AP or honors 😎/lh/gen)

Least favorite subject?

P.E bc that shit is So Sucks. Also being a bigger girl meant that people always looked at me funny in the locker rooms. I don’t like locker rooms. :(

What’s your best character trait?

I think maybe my honesty? Like, not that I never tell white lies or anything but I think I’m pretty straightforward with most people, or so I’ve been told. That leads me to the next question tho…

What’s your worst character trait?

People REALLY do NOT like frankness sometimes 😭 so I think perhaps it’s two sides of the same coin.

In all seriousness, I think my worst character trait is whatever it is that makes me believe that I am Special. It used to be, I thought I was ‘special’ for being smarter than all my peers. Now it’s, I can’t help but think I’m ‘special’ in the way that I’m uniquely awful! 😃👍

If you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be?

I should’ve gotten up before 2 pm LMFAO

If you could travel in time would you like to meet?

Leonhard Euler. To stop him from putting the Greek alphabet into math. KIDDING. As much as I have a personal distaste for all the damn LETTERS in math now (English and Greek now), I know that it is an elegant notation and he was smart to have introduced it. No but fr I would want to meet Euler bc of the sheer amount of STUFF he contributed to and how INFLUENTIAL and AWESOME a lot of the stuff he did was!! He was a brilliant dude and I would’ve loved to meet him!

Recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love):

I’ll be honest, I haven’t read any fanfic in a considerable amount of time. Chiefly bc I selfship now and honestly I just like writing my own selfship fanfic and reading that now haha!! Sorry!!

[kroganloveinterest]

Getting to know your mutuals

tagged by @illusivesoul thanks so much for tagging me!!!

I'll tag @baede-6 @spaydekingcayde @silverforestglove @crystariumrose @heywizards @herrshepard but don't feel any obligation to fill it out or anything. Also if you've already been tagged in this or completed it, I apologize for the extra tag!! And please still fill this out even if I didn't tag you! You can still tag me if you do. :3

(questions under the cut)

What's the origin of your blog's title?

It's a quote by the Spider from the Scavenger's Fate loretab in Destiny 2.

Favorite Fandoms: I'm listing these by what I personally enjoy engaging with, rather than what the fandom space in general is like. With that said, Destiny, Pokemon, My Hero Academia, Mass Effect, and The Elder Scrolls are probably my top 5.

OTP(s) + shipname: I really only have one technically, which is Thel 'Vadam and Rtas 'Vadum from the Halo series. I believe in them so passionately...even if I no longer am the ThelRtas blogging giant I used to be years ago on here lmao.

special mention to all my indulgent oc/canon ships too naturally.

Favorite color: I really like blues!

Favorite game: Of all time? Pokemon Crystal probably. First Pokemon game to have the option to play as a girl, the Western release date was on my birthday, and Johto/gen 2 is my favorite....it was written in the stars ngl.

Song stuck in your head: For once, there isn't a song looping through my mind at the moment.

Weirdest habit/trait? Only thing I can really think of is that I tend to idly pick at the skin of my fingertips semi-often. Hard habit to break so far.

Hobbies: Video games and making gifs. Seems sad that I can't really think of anything else at the moment. They're just always my main go-to for an enjoyable time killer.

If you work, what's your profession? Unemployed atm.

If you could have any job you wish what would it be? I always wanted to be a marine biologist or some aquatic science/biology job since high school, but that's no longer an option.

Something you're good at: Nothing comes to mind.

Something you're bad at: Writing.

Something you excel at: Nothing comes to mind.

Something you love: Beefy fictional characters keep me going ngl.

Something you could talk about for hours without off the cuff: Good question, not in a self-deprecating way, but in a "I genuinely don't think I have anything I'd be able to talk for hours about" lmao.

Something you hate: Moths, tbh. I very much respect them and don't go out of my way to kill them or anything, but god do I simply not like them fluttering about near me.

Something you collect: Nothing now, but I used to collect General Grievous figures and Godzilla figures too so I have a modest sized collection of both.

Something you forget: To take my medication. Literally still forget about it even with a daily phone reminder plastered on the lock screen.

What's your love language? Not sure.

Favorite movie/show: Movie I'd say 2004 Van Helsing, and for TV show I'd say Monk.

Favorite food: Steak.

Favorite animal: Crocodilians. Sharks, dogs, sloths, and elephants are also up there.

Are you musical? Not anymore, used to play the flute for 6 years in grade school though. I miss it. :C

What were you like as a child? Unhappy, repressing trauma and near constant traumatic experiences, extremely withdrawn and shy, really low self-esteem, undiagnosed anxiety/depression, etc....but now I do what I can to take care of that little kid still inside me to this day, rip.

Favorite subject at school? Math, believe it or not! It just always made sense to me and that was comforting. I always liked my science classes as well, but math for sure was always my favorite.

Least favorite subject? I loathed English and History classes because I thought they were so boring, honestly. There's definitely a "no wonder you suck at writing and can't even discuss media in a meaningful way" jab opportunity there, but that's honestly just what my preferences were back then.

What's your best character trait? Not sure.

What's your worst character trait? Also not sure.

If you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? To not have all my close friendships be eroded away to nothing so now I feel like I don't have that support system like I thought I did? That's what's been killing my mental health lately anyway lmao.

If you could travel in time who would you like to meet? A dinosaur.

Recommend one of your favorite fanfics I'll rec @intrepiddreamx 's Destiny 2 fic Diplomatic Ties any day, any time. 😌 (please mind the rating if necessary)

[liraspins]

:: ooc info! You've probably already realized but imma be online less for a few weeks. More info under the cut in case you're interested.

light tw: depression mention, smoking (weed) mentioned as well Mojo here. Imma be straight with you all: I need to get my shit together. I'm unemployed and just got out of a heavy depressive episode. My life kind of slapped me in the face and I realized that I'm 26 and I did almost nothing in my life so far lmao. I decided to get therapy and go back to school (German schools are a bit different. I need to get "Abitur", which is like the smart people school degree here. You need it to study most things) since I dropped out after 10th grade to live on the streets lol. After that I want to study social work, yey! I also stopped smoking weed after almost ten years of being stoned all the damn time. And that's hard. It makes me want to be outside all the time. Distract myself. Concerts and festivals and biiig walks w/ my dog, etc. When I write, I think about smoking a lot. And also...not being stoned all the time kind of took my hyper focus away from writing, so it kind of feels a little bit like a writers block rn (my replies are getting shorter, etc) :/ which is sad because I'm in love with Lira and all our threads, I really am! (I even dream about them now that I started dreaming again o.o) I just need to create a little space, since rping was always a thing I did when I was stoned and/or procrastinating. I want it to be a healthy hobby, not a distraction. I will be here, replying and writing. But it's gonna be less always. Sometimes maybe only once a week idk yet. I hope you all can be patient with me <3 I'll also be here to chat as well and on @septembaer (art & music & vibes) and probably still filling pinterest boards and playlists I created for Lira and the other characters Thank y'all for your patience! Ily! <3

see ya soon :)

[kingbrat]

Get to know your mutual

thanks for the tag @nonbinairyboi !!

tagging: you reading this 🫵🏼🫵🏼🫵🏼

What’s the origin of your blog title?

i used to have a jjba writing blog called kingofcherries and i liked the idea of keeping king as a url when making this new blog. and brat was just bc i am, indeed, a brat.

OTP(s) + shipname:

samira mohan x jack abbot - mohabbot michael robinavitch x jack abbot - robbot handsome jack x rhys strongfork - rhack gale dekarios x astarion acunin - bloodweave

Favorite color:

i've been really into greens lately. more like. deeper foresty greens? also sage green.

Favorite Game:

right now? baldur's gate 3

Song stuck in your head:

Weirdest habit/trait:

i have to sort my sour patch kids into colour piles before i eat them. and then i eat the green, then red, and then blue. and then i pawn orange and yellow off on someone else.

Hobbies:

writing gaming/streaming reading singing

If you work, what’s your profession:

currently unemployed

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?

makeup artist

Something you’re good at:

makeup

Something you’re bad at:

regulating emotions

Something you love:

dungeons and dragons

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff:

dungeons and dragons and my many characters i've played in d&d

Something you hate:

people who refuse to take accountability for their actions

Something you collect:

mugs and crystals

Something you forget:

my memory is like that of a goldfish. i forget many things.

What’s your love language?

quality time

Favorite movies/tv show:

movies: batman trilogy, batman (2022), the barbie movie, the d&d movie, late night with the devil, howl's moving castle, sucker punch, itsv, atsv, everything everywhere all at once, inside, triple frontier, ex machina, deadpool and wolverine tv shows: one piece, moon knight, the pitt, animal kingdom, criminal minds, vice principals, fallout

Favorite food:

korean cold spicy noodles w pork belly

Favorite animal:

bears

What were you like as a child?

i was very loud and outgoing for the most part i think? idk i dont really remember much of being a child.

Favorite subject at school?

english

Least favorite subject at school?

math

What’s your best character trait?

uhhh i do my best to practice kindness everyday, ig?

What’s your worst character trait?

i can be kinda petty sometimes lmao

If you could change any detail about your day right now, what would it be?

i don't think i'd change anything

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?

marilyn monroe or audrey hepburn

[amanitaphalloides]

Please give me all your unemployment, job hunting, interviewing, etc tips!

hi unemployed community member <3

I am so sorry in advance for the length of this. I’m coming at this as someone who got laid off from a corporate job and is basically looking for the same job again, so ymmv with how relevant this is, but here’s a random array of tips I have found helpful.

MY GUIDE TO BEING UNEMPLOYED!

Getting your shit together after losing a job

Things you may need/want to do quickly if you have just lost a job (ie my week 1 unemployment to do list):

apply for unemployment benefits

review, negotiate, and sign your separation agreement

make an unemployment budget

take advantage of your final weeks of employer-sponsored insurance by having last-minute doctors appointments and getting your prescriptions refilled

look for new health insurance

contact student loan servicer to request a deferment/update your payment plan

More about this:

Unemployment benefits

If you’re eligible for unemployment benefits, apply to them right away. Different states are different, but you may need to have an in-person meeting at the unemployment office before you get any money. Scheduling this can take weeks. The world will look so much brighter if you have a little income. So if you qualify, do this first!

You will typically qualify for benefits if you got laid off or fired, but you also made qualify if your contract ended. Also you can usually freelance and still get benefits depending on how much you make.

Budgeting

Making a budget was really important to me so that I could concretely see whether I needed to panic about money and so I could give myself permission to relax. My goal was to stretch my severance and unemployment as far as possible while also doing stuff I enjoy.

Here's my budget template just in case our brains work the same way. This template is based on an old budget of mine - there are items on here that I set to $0 once I got laid off. I literally did budget in movie tickets because that has a massive impact on my joy in life.

Severance

If you are getting severance, it is possible to negotiate how much you get! I was able to get a few extra weeks basically by saying “this is bad timing and my income also supports my family."

Negotiating severance is like negotiating salary in that your former employer will probably give you less than you ask for. It's unlike negotiating salary in that you usually have zero leverage so honestly you might as well do an emotional appeal. IMO

Putting together an unemployed life

Stuff I consider absolutely non-negotiable aka things I MUST do not to spiral:

Make plans with friends. Write all your social plans down in your calendar and treat them as seriously as work.

Do something other than job hunting. Pick up a hobby. Give yourself a really specific reading or movie watching challenge. Volunteer. This will allow you to feel like you have a life which is absolutely critical to your self esteem, your ability to socialize, and your ability to function. You are going to have days when you NEED to feel cool. That will be way easier if you volunteered a few days ago than if you haven't done anything joyful for weeks.

Try to take care of your physical health. Move your body, eat full meals, go to bed at a regular time. I have really realized that sometimes the difference between me feeling good and despondent is truly just like, have I slept well and eaten and exercised recently.

Do things you like doing. I think it is very common to become unemployed and feel like you have to strip away everything in your life that's not focused on the job hunt. But you cannot stop doing everything that brings you happiness and expect to be okay. You will love your life if you fill it with things you love and you will hate it if you don't.

More tips....

Make a list of free or cheap things you can do for fun and then do them! Being unemployed is a great time to go to free days at museums if there’s anything like that near you. It’s also a good time to try a new recipe, check out a new walking path, FaceTime with a friend, write your grandma a letter, make diary comics, listen to new albums, watch movies you always meant to watch... for me though getting out of the house is especially important. I am constantly googling "free things to do in chicago this weekend" lol it pays off especially in a city!

I literally make Google calendar events for myself that are like "free museum day." I need to protect that time and treat it like an appointment to make myself actually do things.

If you have friends who wfh, go hang out with them and job hunt while they're working!

Applying for jobs

Tell everyone that you are job hunting. Post it far and wide. A lot of people get referral bonuses so they'll be trying to help you!

Job boards I use most heavily: Idealist, Otta, Built In, LinkedIn

This is so obvious but a lesson I really learned recently: only apply to places if you would take the job. If you're like "realistically I would not do that for that salary range" do not apply. you are gonna get yourself in Situations @ me two months ago

If you have a 1st or 2nd LinkedIn connection at a job you’re looking at dm them and say you'd love to hear what they think of the company!

I have also had success messaging random people on LinkedIn. Basically following this format: "Hi [name]! I came across this job at your company - I'm really interested and I'd love to hear more about what it's like working with the team. I'm sure you're busy, but is there any chance you have 15 minute this week or next to chat with me about the company before I apply? Thanks either way!"

Not everyone will want to talk but sometimes people still give you good insight into the hiring process.

It is really important to me to have boundaries around my job search. This has varied a bit depending on my schedule but the best thing I've found is telling myself I apply to jobs 9am-12pm. At noon I am DONE.

Interviewing

My interview prep: practice my elevator pitch with a focus on why it lead me to this company, pick out a few anecdotes from my past jobs I can share (a time I messed up, something I worked on that had a good result, something that didn’t go as expected, a time I had to deal with conflict), read the job's website and any news items I can find about them, and do a little quick review of the industry.

Most commonly repeated questions I've encountered recently: what's a time you made a mistake, what kind of management style do you like, why should we hire you.

This is the first time in my life I've ever genuinely practiced an elevator pitch and I hate to say it but it's really helped

After an interview (especially a panel interview) immediately take a few notes on what people said so you can write personalized thank yous.

I hope something in that was helpful and if not I'm sorry for the wall of text LOL but hugs and kisses it is all gonna be ok!!!

[haechoxo]

hi guyz ‼️ i will try to upload some blurbs i have over the next few weeks just so that i can feel productive and accomplished that i at least posted something,, but i dont think the mark smau nor the jisung works will be posted at least for another couple weeks because i completely blocked out the fact that am moving and i have not packed 😹😹😹 im #unemployed so this blog is one of like four hobbies i actively engage in, which is why i want to stay active for my own sake,, but my more srs projects will have to be put on hold 💔

i hope u r all having a good start to ur week! tell me about it :3

[gh0stedvhampir]

Get to know your mutuals!

Tagged by @joyful-soul-collector

What's the origin of your blog title? "Vol'jin Deserves Better" comes from my belief that the character, Vol'jin deserves a better outcome than he got. Sure they may bring him back, but he was just kinda sloughed off like rotten bark, and it pissed me the fuck off ):

OTP(s) + Shipname: Jayvik and Zaundads. (That's Jayce x Viktor and Silco x Vander both from Arcane) I don't think I had a pairing before that I was as invested in as I am with Jayvik, so I can't really say I've ever had OTPs before this, in a more serious way (I have bought fanmerch for Jayvik which I have never done before)

Favorite color: Emerald Green and Turquoise

Favorite game: Hmm. Mm... Disco Elysium, probably. That or Pentiment!

Song stuck in your head: Skott - Midas (YT, Spotify)

Weirdest habit/trait? Uh I stim with my hands a lot. I make crab hands and tap my fingers rapidly, that might be weird to non-autistics. And even to other autistics.

Hobbies: Mostly right now? Reading and absorbing Jayvik content. I like to play TTRPGs (DND 5e, SWADE, Pf2e), I like to play Disco Elysium, Divinity: Original Sin 2, Smite 2 sometimes, Pathologic, Pentiment.... Play with my dog!

If you work, what's your profession? I'm unemployed currently due to a disability.

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? I'd really like to be a clown, actually. Like a professional birthday clown, someone with whimsy and silliness maximum. Alternatively, I'd like to be a historian with a focus on Folk Religion and Folk Art!

Something you're good at: Hyperfixation Research/Special Interest Diving. Once I get my hooks in something, there are no lengths that will stop me to learn information if it pertains to my special interest or current hyperfixation. I recently spent 6 hours learning about Applied Probability and Materials Sciences because I assign Viktor Mathematical Engineer and Jayce as an Engineering Physicist for Modern AU jobs. :I That information lives in my brain now.

Something you're bad at: Understanding Social Communication. It's why I'd make a terrible clown! #ThanksAutism

Something you love: The sound of rain. I am comfortable during storms (though I'm not a fan of lightning)

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: Probably my OCs unfortunately.

Something you hate: Sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, western society in general, I think.

Something you collect: Bones and teeth!

Something you forget: I have ADHD, I forget what I'm doing when I walk through a doorway. You think I remember stuff I forget?

What's your love language? Probably physical touch, though I really only like touch from people I trust (Shout out to Rune and Wes! <3)

Favorite movie/show: At the moment, Arcane. But also Call the Midwife, The Good Place, Interview with the Vampire, Disenchantment, Dungeon Meshi, Lucifer, Grace and Frankie, Good Bad Mother.

Favorite food: My Spaghetti!

Favorite animal: Servals

What were you like as a child? Unruly. I was diagnosed with ADHD and Aspergers as a child. (Really unusual for AFABs to be diagnosed, but I was. I was 11!)

Favorite subject at school? History. I was always good with that.

Least favorite subject: Maths. I'm TERRIBLE at math.

What's your best character trait? I had to phone-a-friend for this one (Thanks Figaroni!) She says I'm a passionate and excitable person!

What's your worst character trait? I can be immensely negative about circumstances or if I can't find a solution to a problem, I can shutdown and become critical of the situation. Additionally, I get frustrated easily too and deal with what's called Low Frustration Tolerance. This is common for people with ADHD!

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? I would change out my GI tract for a functional one so I'm not stuck not going out and not doing things as often due to GI problems.

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? I'd like to meet Mozart, I think!

Tag as as many mutuals as you want!!

@the-kingbo @feydstan @obsidianwitch @bendingwind @lyriumrain @autistic-echo @bethrnoora @reagan-the-saunders @cosmosapphic @crowholtz @himbopunk @windwake-me-up-inside

[internetgiraffekid1673]

I was attacked with positivity, so you are getting attacked with positivity, too!

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you!

Oooh, we could always do with some positivity! I don't really do chain-stuff so no guarantee I pass it on, but who knows?

Things that make me happy!

1) It's corny, but I really do have to say my family. They are some of the coolest people around. I called J-Dog last week and he gave me a 10 minute rant about how eucalyptus trees won't stop setting each other on fire, and then played Wizard101 with me because he loves me. My parents idea of flirting these days is to seduce each other with maps. My father will patiently listen to me ramble about topics he has no interest in for hours and will be fully engaged and asking questions. My mother is a librarian which is basically just a wizard. You haven't laughed as hard as I have until you've watched my mom watch 60s Adam West Batman (she started watching thanks to MY Batman obsession and she's more into it than me)! They're so awesome.

2) We just moved houses and our backyard is infested with adorable little green lizards and they just come and chill on the fence and stare at you and it's great!

3) Silver lining to being unemployed: I am making SO much art these days, it's GREAT! I feel like I've really found a groove with my drawing and I genuinely am a huge fan of almost everything I make right now.

4) I sat out on the porch yesterday and played my guitar while I watched the neighbor kids ride their bikes, and some of our new neighbors actually came over to say hi! I'm building community! It's working!

5) One I suspect I share with most people here on tumblr: making fan content for everything I've ever loved as a child while also making them all queer! It truly is one of my favorite hobbies I've ever had. There are five things in this world I don't think I could live without: My family, animals, music, good food, and middle grade fiction.

[twinsoftriumph]

vedesa and lalut! the slightly awkward buddy duo ESPECIALLY now that lalut is hiding the presence of a certain someone who has history with vedesa... who might need their own post because i think 3 in one post might be too much.

vedesa wears air prophet hair (modified), scolding student mask, to the love outfit, moments guide ult camera, and saluting protector cape. yes none of these are vault cosmetics. she's actually a sky version of an oc i made almost a decade ago so if i slip up and call her by her other name just ignore it

lalut was literally based off of my sky kid. moth height so i consider them the baseline. maskless, chill sunbather glasses, reassuring ranger hat, gloat hair, nightbird whisperer outfit, lively navigator cape, pleaful parent guitar

vedesa has existed for a Long Time. she's my beautiful princess with a disorder(s)

the most obvious one being narcolepsy which i initially made a thing just because i was leaving rps frequently and figured id give a character reason for but now it's a legit trait

she works as a messenger and does photography as a hobby so she is trying her darndest to appreciate life and keep that joie de vivre kindled by Touching Grass

it's not like a super serious job though she operates on her own terms and limits. she's unemployed at heart

also neurotic as hell. this was me projecting as a kid and it still is now.

probably susceptible to Toxic Yuri (shes bi but for the sake of the joke.) because she is a little too interested in the dangerous. megabird's weakest yuri warrior

she originally lived near wind paths but lives in vault now since it deals with memory lantern and darkstone technology shit

vedesa met lalut through her travels, and they basically encountered each other enough times that they started talking casually

lalut invited her to prairie peaks and it was basically heaven. she really appreciated the gesture and now they're friends :) the awkwardness is mostly just because of their personalities

SPEAKING of lalut. they're a prairie guide and they love hanging out and showing moths around. they call themself a moth wrangler which makes it sound 10x more intense than any of it actually is

they want moths to think they're cool so badly. they will pull out the guitar unprompted and be like WELL if you INSIST

they're actually very good-natured. they are trying so so hard. they want to also be a Cool Smooth Flyer. results vary

they know a bunch of weird light creature facts because they love ecology shit which is what they bonded over with vedesa initially. they bring these up unprompted as well but not to be cool it just Comes Out

vedesa invited lalut to vault. lalut keeps meaning to go but also vault gives them major heebie jeebies. vedesa is too awkward to invite them again

lalut has currently taken in ames. vedesa has History with ames and lalut figured this out and is trying to basically keep that whole living situation under wraps for now. more details will come in ames' post which ill do another time bc i need to SLEEP

[aximili]

15 people, 15 questions

tagged by @officialgleamstar ty!!!!

1. Are you named after anyone?

not in particular but i had a childrens book with a cat called Tom in it that i was obsessed with sooo. its a factor.

2. When was the last time you cried?

last thursday i watched Society of the Snow and it made me cry 3 different times omg. movies VERY easily get me especially when actors cry realistically

3. Do you have kids?

hell no... if my sister has kids i would like to be very involved in their lives but NOT 4 me

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

i swim every now and then if this counts. otherwise sports bad

5. Do you use sarcasm?

ye i guess like an average amount djfjd

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

i dont think i have 1 concrete answer for this lol, but probably something distinctive about their appearance unless they happen to be saying/doing something notable

7. What’s your eye color?

brown 👍

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

both is good. but i can only watch scary movies with other people. because i get scared

9. Any talents?

i can touch my nose with my tongue... is that anything....

10. Where were you born?

oxford :) i dont live there now so not too much of a doxx

11. What are your hobbies?

ttrpgs, writing, singing in choir, v occasional drawing/painting, i've also been getting into making a little music in the last couple weeks!

12. Do you have any pets?

not atm but i am determined that 2024 is the year i get a cat....

13. How tall are you?

5'3 - 5'4... i forget which im closer to

14. Favorite subject in school?

english and drama!

15. Dream job?

unemployed <3 no but in my ideal world i'll write and also teach at a university. vaguely on track for that atm. i'd love to work with animals again too in some capacity if the opportunity arose

Tagging:

i am ALWAYS too lazy to tag people for these things/get bogged down in anxiety abt whether ive forgotten a treasured mutual - but i really like knowing peoples answers so if u see this you can say i tagged you :3

[vaynglories]

get to know me meme (tagged by @strandedchesspiece, tyty! 💜)

do you make your bed? nnnnnot nearly as often as i should ahaha.

what's your favourite number? 3's pretty good tbh. it forms two of my favourite text-based emotes, :3 and <3.

what is your job? i'm one of the kens whose job is beach (Currently Unemployed).

If you could go back to school would you? tried that, got nothin' to show for it but student loans that i'll be paying off until the end of time; unfortunately my brain isn't really cut out for academia. (if i ever discover what it is cut out for, that'll be the day.)

can you parallel park? no, i don't drive >.>'' i'm lucky enough to live in a little city with decent public transport and with a lot of stuff within walking distance.

a job you had that would surprise people? wayyy back when i was in polytechnic i worked part-time as a life model for art classes for a bit. had a few friends who were art students, they were down a model for one of their classes, i needed the cash. yeah that meant my friends did see my whole naked booty ass out, but eh.

do you think aliens are real? eh, universe's pretty big. probably something out there, even if it's just little amoeba dudes wiggling around on one of those exoplanets with water somewhere.

can you drive a manual car? i can barely drive an automatic 😭

what's your guilty pleasure? honestly, writing fic. no guilt or cringe for the hobby in general; it's more the fact that there are folks out here putting out these thoughtful, plotty, well-researched works, and i am but a silly creature who writes mostly fluff and banter and occasional smut.

tattoos? none yet.

favourite colour? orange, teal, any shade of red. i wear mostly black though.

favourite type of music? my long-term heavy rotation is a lot of old-school goth rock and post-punk (sisters of mercy, the cure, siouxsie, etc) but i listen to a lot of stuff.

do you like puzzles? i do! when i was a kid my dad and i would get one of those big 1000-piece jigsaw puzzles over every summer break. i like puzzle videogames too, but there's something nice about putting something together with your hands.

any phobias? not since i was very little. my fears these days are all of the less concrete variety, like "dying alone" and "the inevitable heat-death of the universe".

favourite childhood sport? did karate for a few years... i miss it tbh.

do you talk to yourself? i sing or make weird noises more than i talk. my latest thing is making a weird kind of gravelly chainsmoker-catboy "nyagh!" sound when i drop my phone on my face in bed or something. three years of living alone has undone all of my human socialization.

what movie(s) do you adore? oh god i haven't seen a movie in years i think. a knight's tale is a Formative Childhood Classic to me though. been really itching to rewatch the hellboy and blade movies also.

coffee or tea? coffee is like a wife to me. even though all she does is make me sleepy (got the Caffeine Makes Me Sleepy adhd) and make my stomach kinda upset. we should get divorced maybe tbh.

first thing you wanted to be growing up? probably an astronaut? i read a lot of books about space when i was a kid and they had a lasting impact (see above: lingering existential anxiety about the inevitable heat-death of the universe).

tagging: uhhh picking some folks from my recent notifs: @mcbitchtits @thelittlestancient @thebansacredbanned @toybeluga (no obligation ofc!) also like, literally anyone reading this who likes doing these things PLEASE consider yourself tagged. (i like to know who i can annoy.)

[seannesruins]

Do you think you can be completely happy even without money, or you think money is necessary to be totally happy in life? Why?

Okay... so this is gonna be a long answer.

I was able to explore a lot in my life because I was privileged enough to have all my salary to myself, I didn't have parents to provide for, or siblings to send to school. I started working at sixteen, that's why I value money so much, knowing how hard it is to earn. I was able to send myself to college and provide myself with a decent home. Sure those were years of sleepless nights, but it also taught me independence, and though it is liberating at times there are also days that solitude brings forth loneliness.

I tried to fill that loneliness with everything I can think of. I was young, with a lot of time, and earning much more than I can spend. I partied. Binge drinking, and doing vices for days with people whose names I can barely recall. I was spending thousands every night, but there was no one to turn to when I had my first alcohol overdose. I was nineteen, too young to be hooked on vices. But what can I do when it was the only thing that makes me forget how lonely I am? I got into a revolving door of romantic partners, just so I can feel like I belonged with someone. Relationships that were good, but mostly I regret.

I tried discovering new hobbies. I tried to go back to arts, invested in painting. Then literature, writing poems, and buying every book I find interesting. I went to the movies almost everyday, watching everything that's showing in the local theaters, subscribed to every streaming platform there is. I invested in athletic wear, ran 21k marathons, bought a bike and ride 200k, bought outdoor gears and camped on deserted sites, hiked 2k+ masl mountains.

Those moments gave me peace but whenever I go home, I'm reminded of how alone I really am.

Last year I thought I found the person who will fill that loneliness. I changed my lifestyle to fit their definition of a perfect relationship. And when it ended I realized how much I've given up. My business venture lost me 70% of my capital, forcing me to declare bankruptcy, I had no other source of income. Moving out from the apartment that my ex partner and I shared left me homeless. And sacrificing my friends for love left me alone.

That's when I went home. And each day ever since, I am learning to work on my happiness. I no longer need to spend thousands on booze, in fact I am working on overcoming my alcohol dependency. I didn't need to go to the movies ever so often, there's a flat screen TV with my entire family sitting on the couch on popcorn nights. I play with my 6 year old brother, cuddle with another who's 1 year old. My 23 year old brother cooks me the best meals, and my sister does my nails when she's not being a moody teenager. My dad and I barely talks but he has provided me with everything I needed to pick up myself again. He never knew why I went home, he never asked.

It took some time but I was able to get my life back on track. I was able to rebuild the finances I lost, (and not to brag but I got more than what I lost that I was actually able to be unemployed for 3 months now and still have money), found myself a new apartment, reconnected with friends. And though I can't say that I am genuinely happy with the way my life is right now, I can say that I am getting there. I have learned to be okay with being alone.

Some of my happiest moments were because I can afford it but some of my unhappiest were because I have more money than actual relationships. So I guess it's not really about the amount that you have or willing to spend, it's about how and with who you spend it with.

[toadkisses]

random mental health stuff :3 tumblr is a better place to have a public journal than twitter is. it’s tradition.

oldies might remember my actively crazy and psychotic days and while i have not been psychotic for the better part of a decade i am still mentally ill which does affect my life quite a bit

i’m generally happy these days though, i have overwhelming dread and despair like everyone but it is uncommon. i am working towards my employment and life goals. i have a very fulfilling relationship with my beloved wifey rose and have hobbies, i even go to pokemon clumb every tuesday :-)

i’m not scared all the time :-) i can typically place phone calls and self advocate out in the world. also i have way less sexual shame like even going to kink events which is very fun! aaaaaaand my diabetes and eating disorder are both under control. i consider suicide maybe once every 6 months which is a drastic change from the previous multiple times a week/day

so yeah things have improved a lot! i’ve also worked really really hard on my emotional regulation and distress tolerance, i feel way more secure in my relationships because of this, ive stopped reassurance seeking entirely. im very proud of myself :-)

always room for improvement though haha, i am 27 and unemployed (working with disability services to solve that hopefully) and living at home which is bad for my mental health :-( actually reflecting on it my family interactions are the cause of about half of my emotional come-aparts (job stuff is the other half)

i really started writing this though because like i said i’ve been working on myself and processing some stuff and researching some stuff for the past year

what helped my emotional regulation issues (besides MOOD STABILIZER lamictal my beloved) has been idk communicating with Baby Al and other als, like sitting quietly and we talk about what’s up instead of me being like “ARRRRGH i hate myself i should die im such a fuck up” like idk letting them have their space has been helpful

which i think is something i’ve been avoiding since i stopped being a teen bc i have had a lot of shame about my mental illness

like i’m still embarrassed to even like mention it, but oldies might recall luna and other thoughtforms/alters/headmates/no idea what to call them

(sidenote never actually got a direct answer from my shrink about what was up because she was really weird about not telling me diagnosis stuff, like would not even use the word psychotic to describe me even though i very much was and have the medical records to prove it ANYWAY)

i’ve been ashamed to think about them kind of because i didn’t know what they were (see above) and i didn’t want to be valor stealing from people with DID lol??? especially because until recently i very much denied to myself that i had a traumatic home life growing up so i was like “well i have no childhood trauma so i can’t have a dissociative disorder!”

but idk like through doing Trauma Work and opening myself back up, i’ve been thinking about luna and co. more often but didn’t really connect that somehow to the Brain Team Meetings ive been having that have been so helpful

ive also been doing ptsd/c-ptsd research stuff and while i still need to do more, the whole reason i made this post was because i wanted to talk about some stuff i read that was like. really validating? might be the word? made me feel less like a Mental Illness Faker

like reading it having not really dipped my toes into this research pond before was crazyyyy like “omggggg my trauma is so totally valid slayyyy???” and “yay people with similar histories to me have the same problems i do! problems i thought i was making up but are actually not uncommon in people like me!”

(disclosure in this part of the post that i am high so im sorry if the rest of this is unclear or worded poorly. also im not being sarcastic)

this part. “Difficulty with emotional regulation and temper relate to the ANP dismissing the emotions of the EP which, upon activation, react upon the extreme feelings which are usually denied to them.” sooooooo crazy like i only stopped freaking out all the time when i started talking to my self

“EP for those with OSDD-1 can range from the traumatic containers found in C-PTSD and BPD to fragments with some concept of differentiation to fully developed alters with their own developed idea of self.” like whaaaaaat my headthings being people doesn’t mean i was Faking Mental Illness i bc don’t have DID

“They can either manifest through passive influence or, when in a safe environment or when triggered, through a full switch.” soooooooo real

“Not only is the ANP avoidant of EP and liable to react to EP with shame, blame, or hatred, EP may avoid each other.” lol i toooooootally did that lol i fucking hated Baby Al lol i thought she was EVIL dude so fucked up i was being mean to a child the whole time crazy to figure that out

“It's common for EP to present in a stratified manner, with one or more EP presenting with their trauma as the previous EP and their trauma are processed and integrated. Multiple EP are often grouped according to the types of trauma that they experienced” so crazy because this has literally happened to me like when quartz turned into luna

yeah anyway i’m reaching the state where the only thing i can really do is watch the hit pbs kids show arthur so im gonna end this here but like. damn so freeing

my guys aren’t different people now they’re different versions of myself i guess which i wonder if it’s like that because ive processed so much and normal dissociate less

anyway. for real this time. if you read this you are a real one and i hope you had a nice time hearing my story :-) you get this picture for it love you ^_^