#for what little i could have liked in this episode the bad and the boring overshadows it completely

[januaryembrs]

oblivious!reader x downbad!spencer who’s not even nervous to flirt with reader anymore cuz she just doesn’t get it (probs older episodes spence)

CLUELESS | Spencer Reid x reader

description: Spencer's got a crush, too bad you're entirely clueless to his dilemma. (S3!Spencer in mind)

length 1.2k

At first he’d thought it was the world’s gentlest form of rejection, how you would dodge his questions, barely bat an eye at him laying himself bare for you, thought that maybe you were pretending not to see the way his hands shook and voice quivered to save him some face. 

“I-I was wondering if you wanted to go see Zodiac at the movie theatre?” He stammered, obsessively tucking his hair behind his ear because it felt like it was ticking his cheeks, or perhaps that was just some residual sweat gathering on his temple because you were just so pretty when you looked at him like that, your eyes wide and excited, waiting for him to finish speaking because you always loved to listen to him, “I was thinking we could try comparing it to the actual case and figure out how accurate their hollywood version of it is,” 

Your face lit up like the fourth of July, and your smile was blinding, “Oh, I love the movies! It’s going to be so fun, Spence!” You chirped, whirling around in your desk chair to meet Emily’s bored stiff expression as she scrolled through her computer, “Em, Spencer wants us to go see Zodiac, you in?” 

Spencer paled, because that was not what he’d meant by we whatsoever. It wasn’t that he held anything against Emily, nor JJ or Penelope as they were quickly roped into the plans as well, he just hadn't had them in mind when he thought to ask you out on a date. From what he could tell you hadn’t escaped spending time with him alone on purpose. He just hadn’t quite been specific in his question, it was an easy mistake to make. 

But you looked so excited as you organised who was getting what snacks, quickly dibsing the seat slap bang in the middle of everyone so you wouldn’t feel like anyone got left out. He thought his chest stuttered when you grabbed his hand and asked if you could sit with him since he’d remember the most about the original case, and you’d need his big brain for the little game he had planned. 

Spencer agreed, instead of trying to make it clear what he’d meant by his original question, because he hated disappointing people and the other girls seemed just as thrilled to go see the movie as you were. It wasn’t until Morgan slapped him on the back with a chuckle, having watched the whole thing from his own desk that Spencer felt truly dumb. 

“You’re going to have to try better than that, pretty boy,” He exclaimed, and Spencer bit his lip in thought, “Try asking her to do something in a way that leaves no room for confusion, girls like it when you’re direct,” 

And he nodded vehemently, because dating advice from Morgan was usually sound and bulletproof, how else would would he have garnered the ladies man reputation?

Direct, he could be direct. Sure, Spencer could be direct. 

He swallowed heavily just thinking about it. 

–

“These are for you,” Spencer jumped in before you could get sidetracked by chatting his ear off about the squirrel you’d nearly ran over on your way to work, and your expression flitted into surprise. 

He handed you the big bunch of pink roses and baby’s breath, and your mouth cracked into a smile immediately. “Oh, Spencer, these are beautiful, you shouldn’t have. My birthday’s not for another week,” 

“And I booked us a table at that Thai place on your block that you always get- wait birthday?” Spencer stumbled over his script, the words he’d been practising all morning coming to an effective halt as he realised once again his intentions had flown right over your head. And yet before he could set his record straight, just like you had last time, you’d jumped at the chance of spending time with him without understand just what you were agreeing to. 

“I love Thai food, that’s so thoughtful of you, Spence,” You said, hopping up out of your chair to give him a bear hug around his lithe waist, the flowers still tightly in the palm of your hand. He reciprocated, even if his expression was a terrible mix of frustration and confusion. 

It was like someone had cast some sort of spell over his words so that he’d never be able to ask you out on a date, like he was trying to speak in a dream, the words never really coming out. You weren’t dumb, not by any means, you could be a little naive sometimes, but never cruel. Spencer had no idea what the answer was. He guessed he was right back at square one.

–

“I don’t know man, I tried asking her to the movies, she thought it was a group thing. I tried taking her out for dinner, she thought it was for her birthday, I even asked if she wanted to come over to mine and she thought I meant a sleepover. What’s romantic about pillow forts?” Spencer sighed, leaning his head into his palm as he watched you swan around the office without a single inkling of his affections, “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I had fun at every one of them, but I just want there to be more. Maybe she just doesn’t feel the same,” 

“Don’t lose hope, pretty boy,” Derek comforted, the seemingly appointed love Guru that had had to witness two weeks of Spencer’s advances get sidelined. He followed Reid’s gaze to where you hummed a song to yourself as you collected files from Emily’s desk to take them over to your own. He bit his lip in thought, “I don’t think it’s personal, honest, I don’t think she means anything by it. You just need to be clearer,” 

“Clearer?” Spencer said with raised brows, using a single prod of his converse to swivel himself around to face you, and your expression perked into a smile just from seeing him. Derek watched the two of you closely, his theory all but game set and match as you seemed genuinely excited to see their resident genius who was convinced there was nothing there, “That shirt is really cute on you. It makes your eyes look really pretty,” Spencer said, in his most direct tone possible, because the nervousness seemed to dissipate when he knew you wouldn’t pick up on his intentions. The only sign you’d heard him at all was the way your fingers ruffled his hair affectionately. 

“Aw, thank you, Spencer,” You said, a little bounce in your step as you passed his desk to your own, running a gentle hand over his arm, where his blue striped shirt bunched around his biceps, “I like your purple one the best, but this one’s quite handsome too,” You replied, grabbing the other wad of papers from your drawer without much of a reaction and heading up the stairs to Hotch’s office, and he turned back to Morgan, throwing his hands up in exasperation. 

Morgan laughed, shaking his head and yanking his cup of coffee towards him, “She’ll figure it out some day, lover boy. I give it a month, tops,” 

And Spencer huffed, wheeling himself back to his desk, his eyes naturally trailing up to the large window that divided them from Hotch’s personal space, the two of you discussing something jovially as if you were none the wiser to his internal predicament. 

He made a note to wear his purple shirt more often.

[angelicblondie]

bodyguard!rafe x popstar!reader if i cant have the one i love... contains: angst, lots of tension, heated makeout (🤭), happy ending (ish)

it wasnt exactly your choice to be sitting here, anyways.

you'd much rather be home right now, watching an episode of trashy tv (like the kardashians or love island, or even real housewives) but instead, you were forced, contractually forced, to sit opposite of a star-studded hunk - who you quickly discovered not 5 minutes into your little date, didn't have a bunch going on up there.

in fact, you'd rather be doing anything else right now, then pretend to be into this guy.

admittedly, he was handsome - of course he was. not to be cocky, but your agency couldn't just set you up on a date with an ugly guy, oh no, it wouldn't cause a good enough scene. but he was blander than a saltine, and had the personality of a toothbrush.

you could feel the not-so-subtle phones pointed in your direction, because after all this time in the limelight, it became second nature, and a sixth sense, if you will. you could hear the shocked whispers, the questions that circled in the air, and you just couldn't find it in yourself to care in that moment.

you knew it wouldn't be long before the cameras started flashing outside, signaling the paps were there. this was routine.

its probably time to explain how you got yourself into this situation.

the truth is, the more you rose to fame, and the more your songs rose the charts, your agency thought it was it was best to invest the public in your personal life, too, rather than just your professional.

so about 2 years ago, they started sending you on pr dates, to get your name circling even more in the tabloids. it helped if you actually liked the person, and sometimes it even blossomed into an actual friendship, and even occasionally a relationship.

the list of men you would be seen with was star-studded, ranging from fellow artists, to actors, even one dj - as long as it created conversation in the media, it satisfied your management.

the man sat across from you was an actor, and you thought bitterly why cant he at least act intresting? he blabbered on about himself for what felt like hours, and you were forced to nod along, pretending to be interested, fake laughing like you never had before. by now, you were used to this, used to this routine of pretending.

the worst part was, you could feel his eyes on you from across the room. no, not your mindless date - him.

your bodyguard, rafe, was stationed by the door, keeping an eye on you from his position. your eyes flickered to him every now and then, knowing that this was just the same torture for him as it was for you.

before you and rafe became whatever it was that you were, these little pr dates weren't too awful - but to be fair, that was before he admitted to himself that he had feelings for you, so of course they weren't too bad.

and ever since you and rafe became a thing, these dates had become extra difficult for you, knowing you had to put on a show of flirtation and interest, knowing he was watching you.

the whole time you wanted to reassure him that you weren't interested in the guy, that he was so boring, that you wished you were sitting with him instead. but you couldn't.

rafe felt his jaw clench when you flashed the guy the familiar flirty smile, reaching out to touch the stars hand. he had to admit, you had game.

rafe felt envy flow through him, angered at the unfairness of the situation. how come this guy got to have you? how come he could only have you in private? he knew the answer to those questions, but nonetheless, he seethed. he just wanted to take your hand, get the two of you out of that stupidly fancy restaurant, and get the two of you home - regardless of the paparazzi, regardless of the headlines. he wished so bad to have you the way he does when no one is around.

but he couldnt. and worst of it all, he had to watch as all of these useless guys did.

once the bill was paid, you and the actor walked towards the entrance where rafe stood, the guy giving him no mind, but you on the other hand, swallowed and folded your lips inwards, trying to hide any emotions.

wordlessly, rafe nodded at you, and you tried to decipher what he meant by that, what he was feeling, but his expression betrayed no emotions.

he opened the door for you two, and you stepped out, clearing your throat as the bright flashes practically blinded you. a couple guys on the security team rafe hand picked and assembled guided you and the guy towards the car, whilst rafe followed behind, directing the paps to back up.

once you got to the black car, rafe opened the door, both you and your date hopping in the back. your hand subtly rested on rafes as you slipped in, making brief eye contact. rafe swallowed as you fully slipped in, pushing the door shut behind you, walking towards the drivers seat.

the drive to the actors house wasnt long, yet it felt like it, with the overwhelming silence, occasionally broken by the guy who was quite oblivious to the tension in the car.

once he finally got out, the silence back to your house remained. rafe was pretty sure his team had at least an idea of what was happening with you two, so he thought that explained some of the silence on your part.

when you finally got to your house, you and rafe got out of the car, whilst the rest of the guys continued driving to their houses not far off.

rafe, although he had his own apartment about 15 minutes away for you, ended up at your house most nights. it could easily be excused as extra protection, but truthfully, the two of you just preferred to be around each other.

even as you got inside the dark house, the tension between the two of you remained. the situation between you and rafe was still complicated - he wasn't just your bodyguard anymore, but he also definitely wasn't your boyfriend.

deep down you wanted more. and you thought he did too. but he was stronger than you, he would never say yes. he knew logically, it was too risky. even though you had broken professional boundaries and barriers, rafe still held back from breaking any more.

you suspected he felt guilty, like he was taking advantage of you or something. you could tell, the way he would lean away sometimes if you got to close, or if you were lucky enough to get a kiss, he was always the one to end it.

he thought that because he was a bit older, because it was his job to protect you, he couldn't let his personal attachments and feelings get in the way of the job. but you didn't care, you just wanted him.

you could feel your heart sink every time he moved away, every time he ended a sweet, or even steamy moment. you felt doubt and confusion cloud your thoughts - maybe he didn't like you like you thought he did, maybe he didn't really care.

you swallowed, taking a step towards him. he didn't back up, but he also didnt move forward.

you bit your lip. "rafe?" you asked quietly.

it was a moment before he nodded. "hm?" he mumbled in a low voice.

you took another small step forward, slowly reaching out to interlock your fingers. in the dark you could see the slow rise and fall of his chest.

his fingers twitched, and whilst you did most of the work, he met you halfway, yours soft hand looking small compared to his rough, calloused one.

you swallow. "m'sorry," you say quietly, the air feeling thick between you two.

rafe let out a breathy laugh, a small smile breaking through his features. just that left you breathless. "what r'you sorry for?"

you bit your bottom lip. "i dunno, all of it. for making this all so complicated. for it being my fault we cant just..." you trail off, knowing he understood what you meant, but also not wanting to feel the hurt of the words you knew to be true.

he shakes his head. "y'know i don't blame you for that, for any of this," he resures effortlessly, "this is on both of us."

you cant find the words to respond, so its silent for a moment.

rafe gently squeezed your hand in his. "y'know that, right?" he asked, his voice a notch quieter.

instead of replying, you look up at him, your eyes more vulnerable than he was used to. you went on your toes, your hands cupping his jaw as you connected your lips to his.

he was taken aback, but almost instantly gave in. he was weak when it came to you. he became puddy in your hands.

you kissed in the foyer of your house for what felt like an eternity, before rafe pulled away, breathless.

you panted against him, taking in his red, swollen lips and blown out pupils. you were sure his flustered appearance mirrored yours. you always seemed to come undone at the slightest of friction from him.

"you should..." he trailed off, breathing heavily, his eyes barely able to look into yours. "you should go to bed. its been a long day."

your brows furrow as you look up at him, taken aback by his sudden switch. "no," you say defiantly. "don't do that. you always do that," you say, trying to keep your voice steady so you didn't come out as whiny as you felt.

"just..." you trail off, your hands practically pawing at his chest, fingers digging into his white button down. your eyes glassed over, as they always do when frustration hits, clawing at your throat. you tried to find the words, tried to find something that will magically change his mind. "just stay. stop hiding."

rafe closed his eyes, his expression serious. he looked as if he was holding back, like it was taking everything in him to. "i cant," he says finally, clenching his jaw. "i cant."

"why not?" you ask pleadingly. in the moment, you couldnt find it in yourself to care how desperate you sounded, you needed to know. you needed to be close to him.

rafe exhaled. "i cant do it. it hurts me." he says, his voice intense as his eyes burned into yours.

you swallowed, surprised by his confession, so used to him being the composed one. you didn't understand the affect you had on him.

"its hurts me to not be with you," he continues intensely. "its hurst to watch you sitting across from these worthless men, who don't even know the first thing about you, looking at you like your some object," he practically seethes, speaking in a low but harsh voice. "and thats not even the worst part, i know you have no interest in those guys, i know you think they're just as much of a joke as i do. but what does that say about me, about us, that these mindless jackasses get to have you and i don't?"

you swallow your emotions, speaking passionately back. "you don't think it hurts me as well? i hate it, every second of it, but i don't have a choice," you argue, a fire lit inside you at his words. you choked back any tears that threatened to crawl out. "and they don't get to have me, maybe thats how the public sees it, but they don't. you do, or at least you would, if you let me."

rafe shakes his head, clenching his jaw. "you don't get it. I cant have you. it doesnt matter how much you or i want it, i cant. you are my boss, it is my job to protect you. how do you think i would feel if something were to happen to you because i got distracted, huh?" he speaks lowly, a bite in his words. "i would never forgive myself."

you shake your head, emotion pouring out of your words. you understood what he was saying, but you still didn't think it was a good enough excuse. "that could happen regardless, rafe, don't you understand? what your doing right now is lying to yourself, saying that theres nothing between us and that this isnt real. that doesn't change anything, that doesn't change reality."

rafe sighs, running a hand down his face, trying to collect himself. he speaks a bit quieter, a tinge of regret in his chest for getting frustrated with you. "m'not lying to myself, i'm well aware of whats happening here, kid."

you swallow down your feelings, but your glassy eyes betrayed you. "don't call me that." you say tensely, yours lips trembling a bit. "i hate it when you call me that."

its silent for a moment, the only sounds that could be heard was both of your labored breaths.

"angel..." he trails off, his voice barely above a whisper.

you don't respond, a sniffle being the only sound you make.

"i wish there was something i could say to make you understand where i'm coming from," he sighs out, sounding exhausted from your semi-fight.

you mirror his sigh, tentatively looking up at him. "i do understand, thats the worst part." you whisper.

"i just..." you bite your lip, reaching out to grab his waist, attempting to pull him close. "i don't get why this isn't enough. cant this be enough?"

rafe let out a soft breath of air, leaning forward to rest his forehead on yours. "for now. for now it can be enough." he says lowly, his hands brushing you hair behind your shoulder, before sliding up to cup your cheeks.

the two of you stood there like that in silence, until you were too tired to stand. rafe took you to bed, the two of you falling fast asleep, comforted by the fact that even if it wasn't permanent, even if it wasnt as satisfactory as it could've been, you would have each other in private, for as long as you could stand it.

note: i know i usually make these two a bit smutty, but i wanted to show a deeper side of them, bc they are my EVERYTHING. i love them, hope you do too!!! love u all MWAH!!!

[bitchesgetriches]

Everything You Need to Know about How to Increase Your Income

Make more money at the job you have

One of the simplest ways to increase your income is to just make your current employer pay you more. But while it may be simple, it ain’t always easy.

Santa Isn’t Coming and Neither Is Your Promotion: How To Get Promoted

How I Chessmastered Myself Into a Promotion at Work

The First Time I Asked for a Raise

You Need To Ask for a Fucking Raise

Ask the Bitches: “Can I Quit With Unvested Funds? Or Am I Walking Away From Too Much Money?” 

The Ultimate Guide to Growing Your Salary

Make more money at your next job

All that said, you’re statistically more likely to increase your income faster by job hopping! So if your current employer doesn’t want to pay you more, leave that sinking ship behind in pursuit of a higher salary.

Job Hopping vs. Career Loyalty by the Numbers

The Fascinating Results of Our Job Hopping vs. Career Loyalty Poll

How NOT to Determine Your Salary

When It Comes to Salary Negotiations, Are You Asking for Enough?

What To Do When You’re Asked About Your Salary Requirements in a Job Interview

If Your Employer Refuses To Negotiate Salary, Try These 11 Creative Counteroffers

Season 4, Episode 9: “I’m on the Wrong Career Path. How Do I Convince a New Industry To Take a Chance on Me?” 

Invest your way to more money

Of course there are some who say the true path to wealth is passive income: when you stop working for your money and instead let your money work for you. And they’re not wrong! Here’s how we recommend you increase your income passively.

When Money in the Bank Is a Bad Thing: Understanding Inflation and Depreciation

Investing Deathmatch: Investing in the Stock Market vs. Just… Not 

What’s the REAL Rate of Return on the Stock Market?

Dafuq Is a Retirement Plan and Why Do You Need One? 

Procrastinating on Opening a Retirement Account? Here’s 3 Ways That’ll Fuck You Over.

Season 4, Episode 1: “Index Funds Include Unethical Companies. Can I Still Invest in Them, or Does That Make Me a Monster?” 

Small Business Investing: A Kinder, Gentler Alternative to the Stock Market 

The Dark Magic of Financial Horcruxes: How and Why to Diversify Your Assets 

Make more money through side hustles

When it comes to side hustles, we have traditionally advocated caution. The last thing you want to do is burn out in pursuit of a second income stream. But with enough wits and fortitude, a side hustle could help you increase your income by leaps and bounds.

Romanticizing the Side Hustle: When 1 Job Isn’t Enough

Season 2, Episode 9: “I Use My Free Time to Volunteer. Should I Focus on Making Money Instead?”

Stop Undervaluing Your Freelance Work, You Darling Fool

Freelancer, Protect Thyself… With a Fair Contract 

Season 4, Episode 10: “I’m a Freelance Artist. How Do I Price My Work Fairly Without Losing Clients?”

Ask the Bitches: My Boss Won’t Give Me a Contract and I’m Freaking Out 

“Independent Contractor” My Ass: How to Stop Wage Theft Through Worker Misclassification 

Becoming a Millennial Entrepreneur (In the Midst of a Pandemic) With Katelyn Magnuson 

11 Awful Mistakes I Made as a Self-employed Freelancer, and How You Can Avoid Them

The Magic of Unclaimed Property: How I Made $1,900 in 10 Minutes by Being a Disorganized Mess

I Am a Craigslist Samurai and so Can You: How to Sell Used Stuff Online

What to do when you make more money

Once you increase your income, you might find yourself… not quite bored, but finding you have a little more bandwidth to handle the stuff that matters. It can be a jarring transition! Here are our thoughts on the matter.

Season 3, Episode 7: “I’m Finished With the Basic Shit. What Are the Advanced Financial Steps That Only Rich People Know?” 

Season 3, Episode 4: “The More Money I Save, the More I’m Scared To Lose It. Can I Break the Cycle of Financial Anxiety?” 

How to Avoid Lifestyle Inflation … and When to Embrace It

Ask the Bitches: I Know How to Struggle and Fight, but I Don’t Know How to Succeed

Update: I Know How to Struggle and Fight, but I Don’t Know How to Succeed 

The FIRE Movement, Explained 

I Was Happy to Marry a Poor Man. Then Things Changed.

I Have Become the Rich Relative I Always Wanted 

Believing in Miracles: A Conversation with Chris Dane Owens on Money, Creativity, and Self-Funding Art 

I Now Make More Money Than My Husband, and It’s Great for Our Marriage 

Season 2, Episode 1: “I’m Financially Stable, but My Friends Aren’t. The Guilt Is Crushing!”

The Resignation Checklist: 25 Sneaky Ways To Bleed Your Employer Dry Before Quitting

Advocate for systemic change

We don’t endorse an attitude of “I got mine.” So once you increase your income, there are lots of ways to use your newfound financial breathing room for good! Lift as you climb, my friend. Here are a few ways to do so:

Wallet Activism: Using Your Money for Good with Author Tanja Hester 

Woke at Work: How to Inject Your Values into Your Boring, Lame-Ass Job 

Raising the Minimum Wage Would Make All Our Lives Better

Post a Salary Range in the Job Description, You Fucking Cowards

1 Easy Way All Allies Can Help Close the Gender and Racial Pay Gap

The Truth About Unions: What Has Organized Labor Done for You? 

How To Support a Labor Strike with 3 Simple Steps

Everything in moderation

One last thing, my lambs: don’t crush your spirit while chasing the goal of a higher income. Working hard is hard work. If you find these tactics are leaving you exhausted and demoralized, you might be on the road to burnout. And that road leads nowhere good!

That’s why we just released our glorious new Burnout Workshop. Click the button below to take a peek!

Get the Burnout Workshop Here!

[blackbirdsblackberries]

I've been rereading I Hate The New Hero over and over. I love it so much! But while I was reading chapter three again and an idea hit me.

What if, on his way over to the toy chest, Tim's foot caught on a floor board?

He's able to immediately recognize that this floor board looks as if it's been pulled up multiple times due to some wearing down along the edges. He thinks he's just found some super secret area where you keep something you don't want anyone to find. So he lifts the board.

And immediately sets the board back in place again, gently because he's having a dissociative panic attack. Tim goes to leave, gets confronted by reader's father, and gets shocked out of his episode when he calls you a slut.

Tim is grabbing this man's hand and twisting the guy into a police hold and pressing, pressing, pressing til the guy is on his knees, then with his forehead to the floor. The reason he doesn't just slam the man down is because it could wake you up. With as little noise as possible, the father is on the floor with both arms behind his back practically licking the dirty boards beneath them.

And Tim whispers -no hisses!- into the quiet of this tiny apartment.

"If I ever see, or hear, about you calling her that ever again, Gotham will keep finding your body. I'll even start with those rotten fingers you use to communicate. Do you understand me?"

The man was chocking on shock.

Tim wanted a fucking answer.

"I said, Do. You. Under. Stand. Me." Tim punctuated the sentence with violent shaking of this man.

Reader's father nods frantically.

Tim let's him go. Takes a step back. His chest is heaving in rage. How dare this low life talk about you like this?

(How hypocritical of him, Tim vaguely criticizes himself. After all, he would have probably joined in on mocking you, or just walked out the door, if he hadn't seen what was under the loose floor board.)

Tim is still seething.

"I understand why your throat was cut. You must have made enough enemies yapping lies as if they were true. It makes me sick to leave you with even one of your digits. Let alone, all of them. But [Name] would get stressed or cry if I hurt her family. So, until I can convince her to leave this hell hole, you will not sign or glare at her. Even once. And don't tell her about this. At all. I still need to get a room ready, and I can't have you spoil her surprise."

Tim knows he has JJ's smile right now. His manic eyes boring into the man. Who was trying to prop himself up or curl into a ball; Tim couldn't tell which. All that really mattered was the man was looking at him. Tim's body was jittering from holding back laughter.

Aranea's suit was the most damning thing he could probably find. Tim had to mull over whether to believe you were the hero he viewed as a sister, or if you were someone else entirely.

Of course, Tim hates the thought he treated his sister so awfully. But! There's the chance you're not her! Maybe you're her friend?

Oh! You have a scholarship for engineering. You make Aranea's tech.

Well, if that's the case, he can see about getting you away from here so you're able to make better gear. Which explains Aranea backing out of patrol tonight! If [Name] isn't there to be her person in the chair, Aranea probably didn't feel comfortable going out.

You're probably Aranea's friend on top of that. She may even think of you as a sister! After all, she probably trusts you with her identity so you could make the custom suit. And all her tech.

Which also means that all your supposed hate was just a way to disguise the fact that you know her.

Of course.

No one could actually hate the spider hero, she's too sweet.

So you're behavior was you trying to protect her.

Tim is manic with joy at being one step closer to getting to know his sister. If that means becoming friends with you, it won't be hard.

He forgets to tell Bruce.

Tim greets the reader warmly the next day, saying about how she's not so bad once he ignored her being mean about Aranea. He then makes a comment calling the reader a Tsudere.

Bruce still threatens the reader and Tim freaks out about her skipping school to help Aranea with a day patrol. He then finds out what Bruce and Damian did and spams them to apologize.

Holy shit, Aranea is probably pissed at the Wayne's now! First with Tim being hostile, then Bruce and Damian. They were picking on her tech engineer and Aranea had to go release steam from being so angry.

Him just furiously texting, explaining that he found out reader was the creator behind Aranea's tech and the hater behavior was to protect her identity.

But he's only texting them, not the group chat. So no one else knows. Jason goes to give the letter letting go her mother and Dick still pours ice water on her. Which Tim, Bruce, and Damian find out through the chat. And promptly lose it.

(Excuse me, I'm very out of it right now but still wanted to send this to you. Have a lovely day!)

I love this!! It's been in my inbox for a while and I keep reading over it and forgetting to respond 💔

When Y/N wakes up she'll be in for a shock, her dad is avoiding her??? The stuff in her floorboard is slightly skewed??? Oh... Lucky her.

Tim greets her warmly and acts oblivious? She's holding back her punch right now, the nerve he has.

Then, she slowly realizes, Tim isn't treating her like he does Aranea, something's different. Surely he can't be that dense, right?

I think eventually Y/N confronts him on it, asking him what he thinks the connection between her and Aranea is. When he answers Y/N's shoulders literally drop.

Tech.. Engineer..? That could work, she guesses. But, she doubts the theory will last for long - she can't be in two places at once.

[idolomantises]

What do you think of The Owl House? Like, I liked and respect Dana a lot for what she's accomplished, but I also feel like everyone is just pretending that the show doesn't have any problems, as I felt that the cast was always very poorly developed from the beginning.

I like the show, I don't love it, but i think it's pretty good. TOH has a lot of really cool world building and lore, but I also found a lot of the characters really lacking. Three of my biggest annoyances were Luz, the characters having altered personalities after one episode and the underutilization of Luz's friends.

I think Luz is actually a great protagonist, my issue is when the show really loves to tease her as this flawed and morally complicated protagonist when... she isn't? any time she does something bad, its completely accidental. It's funny when the show first came out and people negatively compared her to Mabel because Mabel actually did make a lot of selfish and careless decisions that she had to grow from.

The show also had a bizarre habit of giving characters new personalities after their first appearance, and I think Amity is the worst offender of this. Her first appearance she's the generic mean girl bully, and this is used to create conflict and for Luz to befriend Willow. But then after that, all of a sudden she's super "cold" and keeps to herself, and the characters act like she's just the popular quiet girl? and then the show has the audacity to blame a lot of the bullying Amity did on her friends and parents. I have no clue why the flashback episodes portrayed it like Amity just watched as her friends bullied Willow, SHE was a part of that! Similar issue with Hunter. Introduced as a snarky brat, and then his next appearance he's incredibly angsty and depressed so the audience could sympathize with him. Willow and the Collector were also ones that stuck out to me, but it was a change that was subtle enough that I didn't notice.

I don't know why writers do this. I like it when your characters are messy and flawed, give them unlikable traits so we can watch them slowly be better people. Don't tell me someone is flawed and then don't give them flaws and don't tell me to sympathize with a character by just giving them a new personality.

I think everyone is pretty aware of how poorly utilized Luz's friends are but there are seriously so many episodes where I was like "why aren't Willow and Guz taking Amity's place". They really feel like a studio mandate.

Also Lumity is kind of boring but honestly, I don't really think its as big of a deal as some fans think it is. Lots of cartoons have straight couples that quarrel, get together and their relationship isn't the most compelling in the world, but its still pretty cute. If anything I do wish Amity would work through her issues more than have what little personality she had disappear when she dated Luz.

With your point about how fans handle criticism, admittedly I think part of the reason why people don't want to admit the show's problem is because Disney fucked it over MASSIVELY and it feels like punching down (at least to them). I think there's a very common mentality of "is it fair to criticize a show that never really got a chance to fully find its stride?"

But I also know this is just a massive problem with shows that have queer characters in general. There's just this prevalent attitude that if you have a problem with a piece of media that also happens to have queer characters, it means you're "ungrateful" or trying to insult it on purpose. Though personally, I think TOH fans are a lot better at handling and giving criticism.

[knightsickness]

Rhaenyra being a good person and ruler is not boring. Ned was boring?

was considering answering this with ‘lose the question mark’ but that felt mean i do like ned i think hes a good character. and the thing is ned is a boring guy on a personal level all characters agree but he isnt a boring character nice ≠ boring i dont need everyone to be evil. i dont dislike rhaenyra just bc shes soso nice and i only like villains

i dont know when ‘a character having strong motivations and flaws makes them more compelling than a character who is inoffensively nice’ became controversial i would consider it character writing 101. hotd fans leap down your throat about it bc of the teams discourse. ‘aegon was more interesting than rhaenyra in season 2’ isnt an aegon rules rhaenyra drools team green argument it is objectively true aegon is more motivated and he does more

it is not compelling character stuff and an insult to emma’s abilities that they wont let rhaenyra do anything or have any motivations apart from a) peace shes a pacifist and doesnt want to be in the war she is a de facto leader in except maybe she does want to be in the war? (dragonseeds) b) the stupid prophecy c) the throne but she refuses to have a war about it bc see point a). and she states these motivations every episode but theyre actively contradictory so as a result she just doesnt do anything shes almost entirely reactive. if she really cares so much about not having a war and harming her people there are many actions she could take to change that and make a peace but she wont do that bc she wants her father’s throne (far more sentimental and niceys than anything as selfish and crass as her ugh just wanting the throne) and believes she has to be queen and is the chosen one bc of the prophecy. but she doesnt want a war bc women are wise and war is bad so so so she got main character screentime and did almost nothing in eight episodes. end of season 2 even though the war has been literally happening around her people are still talking about when rhaenyra is going to recognise this and start acting like it. a goalpost that has been moved from lukes death to jaces death bc lukes death affected her and her policy veryy little considering how confident everyone was that this means WAR get ready for a NEW DARK RHAENYRA a mothers RAGE. and that just didnt happen at all

baela and to a lesser extent rhaenys also get hit w this really hard theyre a blandly inoffensive Strong Female Character slurry being smeared on my face like im a baby and id get scared if they had any selfish desires. and this does work at pleasing people who are already tb fanatics yayy girlboss imagine liking the creeps on tg over these characters who are women who are nice but it makes for dull characters and plotlines it insults the ability of the audience to like women unless theyre completely sandblasted of anything potentially controversial. i have no idea what motivates baela to fight for rhaenyras cause other than ‘shes jaces nice girlfriend’. and thats really bad !! ned cat brienne sansa dany etc wanted and did things characters can be nice and morally good and motivated and compelling

[lisbeth-kk]

Sherlock fandom

Implausible Signal

“Read it again, Sh’lock,” the five-year-old Rosie Watson begs.

“I have read it two times already, and you, young lady, is stalling. Fairyland is waiting,” Sherlock says softly.

She pouts, just like he did himself when he was a child.

“You still do, you know,” Mind Palace John tells him.

“Are you thinking of Daddy?”

“What?”

The question baffles him.

“You always smile like that when you look at him. When he doesn’t see,” the little girl states matter of fact.

“Far too clever for your own good,” he mutters under his breath. “Good night, Rosie.”

“Night, Sh’lock. Love you.”

She yawns and reaches for him. He bends down, kisses her forehead, and whispers: “I love you too Rosebud. So much.”

***

He sits in his chair when John comes home.

Tired, but cheerful. Please, don’t let it be because of his date.

“Thank God, that’s over,” John sighs and takes a seat opposite him.

“I could have told you; you know. That way you wouldn’t have had to go through that tedious dating ritual,” Sherlock informs him in a boring tone.

John doesn’t reply but inquires about Rosie. Sherlock rolls his eyes.

“It isn’t my first time putting her to bed, John.”

“I know, Sherlock. Just wanting to know that everything’s alright. What did you two get up to anyway?”

“We had dinner with Hudders. Watched Cars. Again. She had a bath. I read to her. End of story.”

He needs to keep his feelings under wrap. He can’t afford to show John how much she means to him. Or John for that matter. He has no idea why, but his brain tells him something bad will happen if he lets his façade slip.

John smiles fondly at him. Sherlock has no idea what to do when John smiles at him like that, so he stands, picks up his violin, and plays a lullaby he learned when he was away, as softly as he can. When he turns back to face the room, John is gone, just as he hoped. He can’t help feeling disappointed by it though.

***

“Sherlock, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, John.”

They’ve just watched the last episode of…Sherlock can’t recall what the show is called. He’s been too occupied trying to stay on his side of the sofa, and not give into the temptation of seeking John’s warmth.

“Rosie wanted me to read a story I didn’t know tonight. When I told her, she rolled her eyes at me, and told me that of course I knew it. I was the main character in said story. Her favourite, apparently. One you – “

Sherlock panics. He should have anticipated this. A five-year-old is terrible at keeping secrets. Not that Rosie knows it’s a secret, but still. John is still talking, but Sherlock has no idea what he says. He could speak Arabic for all Sherlock knew.

A touch brings him back to the present. He looks down at the hand resting on his shoulder.

“Hey. Are you back with me?”

John speaks so softly. 

Sherlock leans against him but straightens before he makes a fool of himself and puts his head in John’s lap.

“Stranger Than Fiction.”

“Go on,” John says.

“The name of the story,” Sherlock clarifies.

“Okay. Rosie said you never read from a book. You know it by heart?”

“It’s not a book,” Sherlock murmurs.

“You’ve made up a story for her? About me?”

John sounds incredulous.

“Not made up. It is a true story.”

He swallows hard, turns to face John, lets him see. When the penny drops, Sherlock closes his eyes, awaiting John’s verdict.

“A strange meeting,” John mumbles, almost inaudible.

“Yes,” Sherlock agrees.

It was what John had called it when he recaptured the day they’d met at Barts. A day and a meeting that pulled them both out of a miserable existence.  

“Why did you call it Stranger Than Fiction?”

“Give it some thought, John. If someone had told you that day, or the day, weeks, or months before, that on the twenty-ninth day of January 2010, you should meet an obnoxious man you moved in with the following day. That mere hours after meeting him, you’d kill a man to protect him from doing something stupid. What would you have said to the person telling you this?”

“Well, when you put it like that…I um…I guess I would’ve told them to bugger off, or…”

“Or?” Sherlock prompts when John doesn’t finish.

“Or, I’d probably have said, that sounds like something stranger than fiction.”

He grins, and Sherlock returns the smile. When John’s smile turns into a frown, Sherlock’s stomach plummets.

“Please, tell me the story is a redacted one. Child proof.”

Sherlock exhales relieved, but also a bit affronted.

“Of course, John. Do you think so little of me?”

“Sorry. I really don’t, Sherlock. You’ve been nothing but wonderful to the pair of us. I don’t say that often enough, do I?”

Sherlock just shrugs, then his body tenses when John does something so unprecedented, he’s got a hard time processing it. The warmth and secure hold from John’s hand on his, momentarily short-circuits his mind.

“Tell me?” John prompts.

They lock eyes again. John’s expression is open, expectant, and the fondness is back. With his eyes fixed on their joined hands, Sherlock recites the noteworthy parts of his story.

“The day I met your father, was stranger than fiction. You know I am quite good at calculations, but nothing could have prepared me for John Hamish Watson. He was, still is, the bravest and kindest man I have ever met. Being allowed to call him my friend, is the greatest privilege ever bestowed on me.”

Sherlock startles when something wet falls on his hand. He looks worried at John, but he just smiles at him, and he doesn’t try to hide his tears. When his other hand cups Sherlock’s cheek, he dares to hope.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

@flashfictionfridayofficial @totallysilvergirl @keirgreeneyes @calaisreno @helloliriels

@meetinginsamarra @safedistancefrombeingsmart @gregorovitch-adler @topsyturvy-turtely @jolieblack

@221beloved @ninasnakie @shy-bi-letsfuckingdie @7-percent @lhrinchelsea

@peanitbear @bs2sjh @brandiwein1982 @meandhisjohn @a-victorian-girl

@missdeliadilisblog @salmonsown @oetkb12 @jawnscoffee @gay-ass-bitch

@acumberlockedgirl @willamholmeswatson @whatnext2020 @mydogwatson @redmondcollege

@thegildedbee @ilovegayangels @elizabethhood @xmengal03 @riversong912

@givemesherbet-blog-blog @couldbecannibal @2old2b-fangirl @dw91165 @jonkwatson

@binx72 @macgyvershe @raina-at @dragoonthegreatest @kholkate

@fookincarrotsandpotatoes28 @talkativeanxiousturtle @aloeverawrites @twoandahalfdimes @desi-yearning

(Let me know if you want to be tagged or removed from the list)

[pinknipszz]

POUND TOWN!

modern au, 18+, mdni pls

“sukuna,” you click your tongue, arms crossed over your chest as you stare at the tall, pink-haired man standing at your doorstep. he doesn’t look that different since you last saw him, wearing the same loose wife-beater tank top and grey sweatpants. your nose scrunches up when you catch a whiff of him, as if he can’t decide between cheap cologne, weed, or gym sweat. “what are you doing here?”

“got bored,” he deadpans, tilting his head slightly to catch a glimpse of your apartment through the gap, half-expecting a thing or two to look different. you only sigh and shake your head. sukuna has a strange habit of popping up out of nowhere, knocking on your door, stealing some food, and fooling around for a bit before disappearing for months. when you think sukuna is gone for good, he comes back. like a stray cat. 

you probably shouldn’t be taking in a stray so easily, especially one with claws, but how were you supposed to know that a simple conversation starter like “you smell like blue razz ice” would plant the seed of a beautiful friendship with the hottest plug in the city? it's a little unconventional but neither of you care. what irks you, though, is his shitty timing. “you can’t be here right now,” you say. “i’m busy with something.”

but instead of apologizing for disturbing your peace like any normal person, sukuna plants a foot against the door and pushes open with full-force. you yelp and jump back quickly before it slams against your face, but the drywall isn’t so lucky. you think you hear a loud crack. “what the hell is your–!” before you could finish, the bastard shoves past you and waltzes in like he owns the place. what a fucking bitch!

you lock the door, grumbling. seems like he hasn’t changed much in personality either. when you follow his trail and catch him digging through your fridge, you can’t bite back the sarcasm. “are you that much of a lousy deadbeat to go through girls’ apartments for food?” sukuna turns to flip you off before resuming his venture.

“i know you have more than fucking vegetables in here,” he scoffs, “where is the— gotcha.”

he pulls out your familiar container for leftovers. you don’t even remember what you cooked. it could’ve been weeks old, but sukuna clearly doesn’t have half the mind to care as he rips off the lid and eats with his free hand. “eugh. you’re disgusting,” rolling your eyes, you leave the kitchen and make your way towards the couch to continue your show. you doubt you’ll even enjoy yourself with him around, but whatever.

you won’t let that guy get to your head. just pretend he isn’t there. it's not that serious. the knots in your shoulders loosen when you lean back against the couch and reach for the remote to adjust the volume until sukuna’s shuffling is reduced to nothing but background noise. and it works for the most part. you don’t know how much time passes, maybe an hour or two, until you almost forget he's even there.

a heavy weight precariously plops beside you. cheap cologne, weed, gym sweat. they overwhelm your senses entirely. “breaking bad? is this some kind of joke? thought you said you were busy,” sukuna throws an arm over your shoulder and pulls you close. he doesn’t budge when you try to shove him away, so you resort to pinching his side instead, earning a sharp yelp from the young man. “obviously i am. and don’t get so full of yourself. you don’t even cook.”

he mutters a few words under his breath, probably something vile and venomous, but you couldn’t care less and revert your attention back to the tv. you've waited this long for the show's season finale, and you'll be damned if you let this bastard distract you. but sukuna thinks more with his dick than his brain, evident in the way that the hand on your shoulder slides down and finds your waist, rubbing small circles and squeezes tight on the meat of your flesh.

the episode continues, but you don’t even know what’s happening anymore. when you decide that it's futile to watch without any knowledge of what happened prior, you sigh inwardly and glance to your side. sukuna isn't even looking at the tv.scrolling through his phone, he looks bored and uninterested, as if there's a million other things he could be doing right now. but he’s here with you, holding you close, which is entirely unbecoming for a man like him.

your heart twinges. no, you scold yourself, not for him. anyone but him. sukuna is a stray cat that takes and takes and takes. a storm that wreaks havoc, leaves chaos and destruction in his wake before disappearing like mist. there’s always an underlying motive with him, one that forces you to pick apart his words and play detective for a mystery not worth divulging. 

“relax,” he tuts. but you can’t. not when his hand travels lower down your side, poking and prodding, teasing the waistband of your shorts. and when his fingertips finally melt into unmarred flesh, heat pools deep in your stomach. “sukuna,” comes his only warning. the man of the hour merely flashes a shit-eating grin before he grabs your jaw and presses his mouth to yours.

you taste the earth on his tongue. it’s sweet and smokey and slightly bitter. with a hint of fruit and leftovers from your fridge. strong arms wrap around you properly, holding you close, so close that his heart beats against your own. you kiss him back eagerly. sukuna’s hands move with intent, relearning parts of your body that were forgotten throughout your time apart. when he bites your lips raw, you whimper.

“i know baby, i know,” he hushes in between wet kisses. he pushes until your back hits the cushions underneath. sukuna climbs over and grabs your thighs with two strong hands, cock twitching in his pants at how your flesh spills between his fingers. he positions them over his shoulders and leans down for another a searing kiss. you’re smothered like this, rendered useless under the weight of him and your knees against the sides of your head, pushed far beyond a mating press.

you moan in his mouth when he grinds against you. “i know how much you miss me, miss my cock,” sukuna snarls out, jaw clenching with impatience as he tears through your shorts. the cold air slams against your cunt like a sledgehammer. the ceiling spins overhead. “i’m here, i’ll take care of you.” it’s a salacious promise that he seals with a tender kiss against your temple. you’re writhing, slurring his name as you blink blearily through the blood rushing to your head. he makes a show of pulling himself out of his pants.

sukuna runs a thumb over your folds before smearing the lewd concoction of slick and precum with the tip of his cock. the sight of your sopping hole is obscene, no doubt about it, but that hardly matters now. “put it in already,” you whine with tears collecting in your lashes, the position too taxing for your body. and for once, sukuna listens. he leans forward, groaning as he feeds inch after inch of his hard length into your aching hole. there’s a ring of pink stretched taut around him when he pulls back just slightly. you dig your painted nails in his bicep, squealing.

no matter how many times he’s fucked you, with three fingers or more, cock or toys, it always feels like the first time. “s–slow down–” comes a mewl from underneath him when he pushes in too eagerly. sukuna's eyes flit down to take in the sight of you, flushed out and gorgeous, and decides to tease your pitiful sensitivity. a loud moan is ripped from your throat when he pinches your clit. you try to squirm away.

“oh come on. quit pretending you don’t like it when i do that,” sukuna snickers, readjusting his grip on your plush waist before plunging in. hard. you wail at the motion, eyes fluttering close as the lines of your body arch up to meet him. when you’re like this, soft and pliant, sukuna pounds into you easily, molding your walls into the shape of his cock until your wet heat is nothing but a furnace for him to melt into. 

and then you feel his lips against your jaw, dry and chapped and dragging harshly. the rhythm he sets is nothing short of violent. your moans and his, ladened with the sounds of skin-on-skin, blend together in a filthy cacophony that you can hardly register over the thick scent of sex that leaves your head spinning. in between mindless thrusts, a pink tongue darts out to sample the sheen of sweat on your skin. you drool deliriously at the sensation.

then sukuna pulls back to watch you, your legs remaining in their rightful place over his shoulders. a hand travels down to where you are connected and collects your slick between two fingers. he smears it all over, rubbing the rough pad of his thumb against your clit before spreading your folds apart. “look at her,” he coos, grinning wickedly as he watches your greedy cunt swallow each sizable inch with each poignant snap of his hips. “what a delicious looking thing.”

“sukuna,” your lips fall open at the praise so invitingly that it’d be a crime not to take the opportunity. it’s a clash of teeth when he finally kisses you. sloppy and hungry and urgent, like a man who’s been starved for years. he drinks your moans and savors them, brushing against your tongue and gliding over the roof of your mouth, hips never ceasing their violent rhythm. when you realize the strange intimacy in this position, you feel the familiar, guttural sensation just beneath our gut.

and sukuna feels it too, the way your walls tighten around him. growling with newfound fervor, he leaves a string of spit when he pulls away to angle your hips and hammer against your cervix, eager to finish with you. screams echo across your apartment. he pants quietly, eyes ablaze and lips swollen from your incessant teeth. your body shivers and twitches from carnal ecstasy, addicted to the thick intrusion that nudges the deep bundle of nerves within you. a spot that only sukuna can reach.

the thought does something to you, because your body decides then to tense up against him, clamping hard around his perimeter and soaking his cock in squirt. although his hips stutter, sukuna doesn't relent and fucks through your tight walls. you cry out and hold him close, digging deep scores down the broad expanse of his back before sukuna finally empties himself with one last thrust. a full-body shudder racks through your body. the sensation tears a second orgasm from your twitching cunt.

through the ringing in your ears, you heave a sigh of content. your companion chuckles and collapses on top of you without bothering to pull out. “i’m coming back next week. got kicked out of my old place,” he suddenly mumbles in the crook of your neck, barely audible. you register his words through post-coital bliss. when you don't respond, he turns his head, but you're already looking at him. studying the expression on his face.

"fine," you concede. "but you better get a real job."

(masterlist) | (a/n: tell ur man to wash his pp before sex. idk if this gets a p.2)

[deadlysoupy]

feel like people already discussed this, but im in the mood for a rant. i don't know who's gonna be mad at me for saying this, but i feel like people consider Hashtag and Starscream's relationship way more... parental and one-sided than it really is? not the "teacher and student" type, not the "mentor and mentee" type, just "father and daughter" type, and personally i think that's. a little bit boring, to say the least, and washes down their complex relationship to a "caretaker and child", and YOU'D BE SURPRISED who the caretaker here is. spoiler its not the adult

what i mean is, back in episode 21, they met each other on equal ground and bonded over their shared trauma. they were both fucked up and understood each other when no one else could. yes, he was protective of her, and she was of him, which is sweet and wonderful given how little time they spent with each other, they still ended up caring, which is how these parental relationships start usually

here's where my problem lies tho. in a lot of fanworks, people forget that they're BOTH in a bad situation mentally, which comes with a lot of baggage, but somehow its STARSCREAM that needs to be taken care of, not HASHTAG, the literal CHILD who is already traumatised. so, in truth, Starscream and Hashtag isn't even rooted in both of them, its JUST for Starscream. aren't we forgetting someone important there. are we. areare we forgetting someone

is this just for you to make Starscream someone you imagined to be (kind, trusting, as opposite of his backstabbing, opportunistic nature) and not actually someone who could bond with a kid for having similar trauma and actively trying to make her life better while stumbling through almost every step? or is it suppose to be a two-way street for Hashtag too, where she learns not all things are what they seem to be, and sometimes its not the fault of just one person, but both of them?

put some gray in that white and black concoction you guys brewed. come on. lets not be boring

[cup1drul3z]

★ — Enemies to Lovers  w/ sevika

CW : age gap , oral sex , THE STRAP , ditzy reader , brat taming , dirty talk , caught in the act

A/N : part 2 maybe coming soon

Summary : sevika being madly inlove wih you but masks hate over it. you were silcos biological daughter. silco barley paid attention to you and you were getting bored of the men from the bar.

MINORS AND MEN DNI

You held your breath watching sevika walk into silcos office with her arm broken and shimmer leaking on the ground. You sat on his couch with your knees to your chest, “the sister is back” she said, out of breath “from the dead?!” Silco turned to look at her. “She attacked me at a card game” sevika leaned on the other couch “wait,” you say moving your feet down, “she attacked you?! And you lost?” you laugh “i didn't lose, she had some girl enforcer with her” the brunette said looking at the floor “winners don't have excuses” you say giggling. “Keep patronizing me and i'll tear that laugh from your throat-” sevika was cut off by silco “sevika.” he started “y/n, leave.”

“What-” you furrow your brows as Sevika hid her smirk. Silcos face showed he wasn't joking as you stood up. Your silk dress barely covers anything as you leave, you press your ear against the door when you close it behind you. “You raised her to dress like that?” sevika looked over to silco “my focus was jinx. I regret it now since she can't fight.” silcos voice darkened. You look down at your hand, it was true. You always need someone coming and saving you. But at the same time you didn't mind it, you liked being vulnerable. “Tell me everything,” silco said. You already heard enough, blah blah sister blah jinx.

You find yourself in Jinx's workshop going over and sitting on her couch “sevika needs to be humbled” you pick at your nail “what’d she do” jinx asked, trying not to stray from the golden boys research. Your eyes widen, telling jinx about her sister might send her into an episode so its best to wait for her to find out on her own “nothing. She's just-” you pause earning jinxs attention “she's just being cocky.” you excuse. Jinx smirked, returning to the research journal.

You lay down sideways, watching jinx work as your eyes feel heavy. 

Sevika couldn't help but have those late night thoughts about you. The way your hips moved when you walked, and honestly she loved your thigh split dresses, how when you move too fast you can see a peak or two. She could escape that one time you got cut and your cry of pain lowkey turned her on. She found her hand palming herself at night thinking of you on more than one occasion. Your voice haunted her. She's had to fight the urge to smell the jacket you forgot at the bar lots of times

But your personality, it enrages her. You argue with her all the time, it's like you get off on arguing. If she had the misfortune of having to babysit you on a mission, you fight her every step of the way. Sometimes there are peaceful moments like when you fall asleep at the bar and it's just you and her. 

Sevika knows you're stronger than you look, she's seen you pissed off before and how much damage you can do. She also knows when your pretending to be weak, but…you were a little dumb for example she will say “there's someone on your left” during a mission and she watched you look to your right, realize your mistake, check your hands, then look left and by the time you look left she's already knocked out the person coming at you 

She definitely feels bad about how young you are and you were her boss's kid. But silco didn't really care about you. I mean don't get her wrong but she notices what he talks about and she looks back on your childhood, he always focused on jinx and just left you to defend yourself. Eventually just making his goons watch you 80% of the time. She also reassured herself from how you dress and act. She swears you know what she thinks about at night and feeds her on it. 

Sevika followed vi and cait best she could before they disappeared. So she swallowed her pride and went back to silcos office “we lost them” sevika sighed “lost who?” Jinx turned in her chair, throwing the clipboard on the desk. Sevikas eyes narrowed as she walked forward, accidentally tripping a wire. She tried to cover her mouth from the grey but it took over her lungs making her pass out on the desk. 

Sevika woke up, tied to silcos chair. Still drowsy before feeling jinx's hand on her cheek, surely waking her up “i know your secret” jinx moving sevika closer “oh really?” sev asked “yes! You have a crush on y/n” she said smirking, sevika felt her cheeks flush “what gives you that idea?” she asked “oh you know the way you stare at her ass when she leaves” jinx mocked “so who did you lose?” she continued earning a sigh from sevika “you sister is alive.” sevika said watching jinx's face change

“She's just so scary” therium sat in the booth as you cleaned his face up. The bar was empty and you found therium behind the counter covered in jinx's paint. “You cant let her get to you” you say taking the damp cloth running it over his cheek “and she keeps calling me chuck, my names not chuck” therium says “i know that chu- therium” you giggle as he looks at you with a serious face “sorry it suits you” you say as jinx stormed down the stairs “y/n there's a surprised for you in dads office.” 

You look over at her as she leaves the bar “why don't you take the night shift off? Get someone to cover you” you ask therium as you walk away. He chuckles “is that a joke?” “maybe” you tease going up the stairs and into silcos office. You walk over and sit in his chair looking at his desk. You followed the arrows looking up at the ceiling to see sevika hanging from the roof, with vulgar words written on her with marker  “Holy shit.”

You helped sevika down, not without laughing of course. Watching her clean herself up on silcos couch. “So what happened?” you sat next to her “jinx is off the rails.” sevika said “no shit, i don't think she'd hang you from the ceiling for fun” you giggle crossing your arms. Sevikas eyebrows furrowed “somebody really needs to put you in your place.” she looked over at you “okay if you're gonna insult me and not tell me what pissed her off ill go find out for myself, maybe tell silco about your slip up.” you stand up, sevika rose as well, towering over you.

She grabbed you, turning you to face her “what exactly are you gonna say? That you knew something was wrong with your sister and yet still let her leave?” Sevika was right. What would you say? “I-” you found speechless. Your face scrunched up as she squeezed your wrist, she got close to your face, your noses basically touching during this stare off

You both cave at the same time, your heart skips a beat as she pulls you into her. Sevika wanted her mouth on yours for months and now she finally has it. You lean into the kiss, fluttering your eyes close as you hand cups her cheek. She lifts you up, your legs automatically wrapping around her waist. She carries you to your bedroom, throwing you on the bed. Sevika climbed onto you, settling herself between your thighs. She leaned down, forcing her tongue into your mouth.

Your spit mixed together as your hands found themselves in her hair. She kissed you like it was keeping her alive, that she would suffocate without the taste of your spit. “I have been waiting to shut you up” she held your face. “I-” you started but before you could come up with a snarky comeback she pressed her knee into your cunt “what? Speechless? Im flattered” she looked into your eyes, full of nothing but lust 

“I know you've been wanting this too.” she slid her hand up your thigh “with these dresses, and the days where you “forget” your bra” sevika smirked pulling your panties off with ease “i'm gonna treat you better than any of the pricks that you pick up at the bar” she moved off the bed and on her knees, forcing your legs on her shoulders “really? Cause there faster than this.” you spout out finally. You felt the burn of sevikas hand on your ass “do you get this wet for them?” 

Sevika licked your clit. You were already sensitive so it made you arch your back. “Sevi-” you moan. She flicked her tongue against your clit. You clenched the sheets in your fists, sevika already had you on the edge of your orgasm. She pulled away right as you were about to cum. “Wha-” you lift your head up. she was looking up at you, kissing your stomach. She was back on top of you, taking your top off. She watched how your tits bounced down after being pulled up. 

“I don't suppose a dirty slut like you has a strap?” sevika asked, you pointed to your night stand. She smirked, pulling it out and putting it on over her clothes, she moved your skirt out of the way revealing your sensitive cunt. “Whos cunt does this belong to huh?” sevika roughly grabbed your face. “Yours” you cry out. That was enough for her to push the plastic purple cock into your entrance. Giving you a second before she started at a fast pace. Your breath hitches squirming under sevika 

“Mommy” you said in a needy way. She moved her hand to your tits, squeezing one “your body's mine.” she leaned down to bite your neck, still bucking her hips into yours “are you gonna cum for mama? Cum on mamas cock” sevika growled, your body sent shock waves down to your stomach. Your body stuttering as sevika slowed down for you “that's a good girl” she whispered 

Suddenly the door opened, surprisingly neither of you heard the knocking “y/n? I heard you yelling- OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING” therium quickly closed the door “i'll come back later!” he yelled 

[kawoala]

DRIVEN BY ADRENALINE suna rintarou. chapter 010 ; sorry.

< previous ; masterlist ; next >

২ 𓂅 ࣪ ೨ ; 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 (866)

২ 𓂅 ࣪ ೨ ; 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 (last episode of the season guys [probably], profanity, apologies, minor mention of bad past, forgiveness but not lightly yk, terushima bails on runa but it’s kind of funny - sorry to my teruna truthers, also i’m not too sure i like the way i ended this - like not the confession of it but the actual words that ended this chapter 😭)

“I’m so sorry for what I’m about to do.”

Your head moves before your eyes do, looking up to where Runa now stands in front of the door. You furrow your brows, mouth parting slightly in confusion. She takes a deep breath and opens the door, then slips out and pushes someone inside.

Oh. That’s why she’s sorry.

Rin replaces Runa in front of the door now, hands awkwardly shoved in the pockets of his sweatpants. You’re astounded. You sit up in bed, blanket falling off your top half just a bit, and stare at him, eyes blank. 

“What are you—”

“Can we—”

You press your lips together, forming a thin line and nod towards him. “Go.”

He licks his lips, opening his mouth to speak, but then hesitates and closes his mouth. “There’s—” he cuts himself off, eyebrows pinching together in the middle. “I needed to talk to you.”

“So you used my roommate?” Your eyes narrow almost involuntarily and the words feel foreign in your mouth— you’re not used to being mean to Rin.

“She’s my cousin before she’s your roommate, Y/n.” Your stomach drops to your stomach because, yeah, he’s right. Your eyes dart away from him, zoning out into the fabric of your blanket. “I didn’t mean to… Can we just talk like grown adults?”

You scoff, but don’t look up. “Grown adults don’t ghost a girl they just kissed and then get into a random fist fight because she rode with a different guy.”

It’s silent for a long time. Your eyes are glued to the blanket, his eyes are presumably glued to the side of your face. You can practically hear the gears turning in his head. He clears his throat and, for some odd reason, you look at him.

“I’m sorry.”

“You already said that.”

“I don’t…” He scratches the back of his neck. “I don’t say that a lot. You and Runa are the only people I’ve apologized to in the last ten years, probably.”

You stay quiet, waiting— and hoping— for him to continue.

“It’s hard for me to, uh, express how I feel because—” once again, he cuts himself off, this time groaning in frustration. “This is so dumb. Not, uh, not this, not you. I’m— I don’t tell people what I’m feeling because my dad and shit. It’s stupid, whatever. It’s just hard for me, okay? I’m sorry for ghosting you for a week, I just— Runa told you that the shit I do is dangerous, and that’s not an excuse, but it is dangerous. I don’t want you to be in danger because I like you. I like you and I don’t want you to get hurt or some bullshit like that.”

You bite the inside of your cheek as he talks. You heard from Runa about Rin’s dad, but hearing it from him makes it a little bit more real.

There’s a feeling at the base of your throat— the feeling one gets when they’re about to cry— but you swallow it and take a deep breath.

“I’m a grown woman, yes?”

“Yeah, but—”

“I am a grown woman,” you repeat sternly. “I can take care of myself and I definitely do not need you to protect me.” You take a pause, noting that he’s now looking down at his feet, like a child getting lectured. “That being said,” he peeks up at you, eyes hopeful, and you sigh, climbing out of your bed. You kind of forgot that he’s so tall, so when you walk closer and have to crane your neck, you almost laugh, “I… guess I like you, too.”

He looks up fully now, staring into your eyes like you hold the secrets to the universe, like he could stare at you for hours and not get bored. It takes everything in you not to shiver.

“Okay,” he says with a nod. “Okay,” he repeats, taking a deep breath. “What, uh, what do we do now?”

“Wait.” You hold a hand up in the space between the two of you. “I just want to say that this is not me just forgiving you, okay? What you did was bad and it really hurt my feelings. I don’t mean to talk to you like a child, but you understand that it was wrong, right? Like, I know you wanted to keep me safe and whatever, but you should have just told me that. Do you get that?”

“Yes.” His answer is immediate, his nod firm. “Yes. It was fucked up and I promise to never do it again.” There’s a pause— from you and him. “Does this mean you’ll never ride with fucking Oikawa again?”

You raise your brows, giving him an incredulous look that makes him laugh. You open your mouth to respond to him, but a knock on the door cuts you off.

“Hello? Can I come in now? Terushima bailed on me and I’ve been standing out her for twenty fucking minutes.”

You walk over to the door and open it, hand on your hip, eyes narrowed. She gives you an apologetic smile and shrugs. “At least you guys made up?”

“Right,” you hum, rolling your eyes.

২ 𓂅 ࣪ ೨ ; 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

@sahrii , @cherrysurf , @heartmaddie , @jpegarchives , @vertejay

@tiramizuloz , @gumims , @mybelovedvi , @chaotic-neutral-ig , @usbrous

@iheartamora , @iluv-ace , @xavlyzn , @reocidal , @mysticstrawberryballoon

@h0n3y-l3m0n05 , @aethersluvrr , @smiithys , @rriwyu , @twiishaa

@kissunday , @ilovejeansosomuch , @anqelkoz , @yiooobb37 , @renardiererin

@pookalicious-hq , @sunnyskiezzzz , @sharkissm @massacremars

[thankskenpenders]

Sonic Prime Season 3: Final episodes, final thoughts

Well, here we are. The final seven episodes of Sonic Prime are out on Netflix, concluding the story of Sonic's adventures in the Shatterverse. I've previously shared my thoughts on the first and second seasons, which I was pretty mixed on, but there were still glimmers of hope. The fluid animation, Shadow being fun in all his appearances, Nine being fairly interesting as a jaded alternate version of Tails, etc. There was enough to make me believe that after some highs and lows there was still the possibility that this show could end on a high note - or at least a decent note.

This did not happen.

Sonic Prime's final season sucks. The ending sucks, and the road to get there sucks. It's left me wondering what the point of all this even was. There are still moments I like that I'll try to highlight, and the animators and voice cast are still clearly giving it their all, but these efforts sadly don't outweigh the overwhelming mediocrity of the story. I would barely even recommend other Sonic fans who are on the fence go out of their way to finish it. I won't begrudge people who got more out of this show than I did, but I think overall I just really, really dislike Sonic Prime.

...The problem, of course, is that all other discussion of the show has been overshadowed by needlessly hostile arguments over its place in Sonic's canon. So we've gotta talk about that, too.

(This post will contain full spoilers for Sonic Prime.)

The show's out of ideas but they've gotta stretch that shit out to hit the 23 episode mark somehow

Season 2 ended with the big twist that Nine decided to betray Sonic and Shadow, taking the Paradox Prism for himself so that he could go turn the empty world of the Grim into his own little paradise, since he doesn't believe he'll fit anywhere else. Nine has made himself the true big bad of the show.

The main impact this has is that now, instead of fighting endless identical Eggforcer bots and members of the Chaos Council over and over, the good guys and the Chaos Council have to fight endless Chaos Sonic-style robots sent by Nine while he goes "grrrrr I need Sonic's energy to stabilize the Paradox Prism." This continues for six whole episodes until the series finale, when the show decides it's time for Sonic and Nine to quickly make amends, fix everything, and send Sonic and Shadow home.

That's pretty much the whole season.

I cannot emphasize enough just how much of this final season is just fight after fight after fight against Nine's bots, and how fucking boring that gets. The season feels like one long, drawn out final battle that did not need to be nearly this long, but Nine had his big heel turn 2/3 of the way through the show and we've gotta fill up the rest of the time somehow. The novelty of the bots being based off of Sonic's friends (including the Chocobo-sized Birdie from the jungle world) really wears off quickly when they're just used as generic, silent mooks that the good guys have to fight by the dozen like it's the climax of an MCU movie. The first episode of the season with Sonic and Shadow fighting the new bots is pretty good, especially because Sonic and Shadow's dynamic is one of the few redeeming aspects of this show's writing, but after that it just gets boring. Three full episodes in a row are spent showing all the characters fighting robots in an empty wasteland while Nine scowls next to a big beam of energy. I found myself missing the in-your-face attitude of Chaos Sonic so much. He truly was one of the best parts of this show.

While the cast is busy fighting all these robots for what feels like an eternity, various things of varying levels of interest happen. There's a halfhearted attempt to have some kind of rivalry between Shadow and the main Grim Sonic throughout the final battle, but it completely falls flat because Grim Sonic has no personality whatsoever. It's like Shadow beefing with an above-average Egg Pawn. (Actually, no, that would be funny.) There's also a death fakeout with the two other versions of Tails, where they make a makeshift bomb and throw it a little too close to themselves on the battlefield and seem to get vaporized. If they had actually died there they would have had the funniest, most pointless deaths in the entire franchise.

I also realized at one point that they were trying to do the Avengers girl power fight thing with the three versions of Amy fighting a bunch of Rouge bots. This was very funny to me. Actually, so much of this is just following the tired MCU formula to the letter. Fighting over a macguffin, two armies just kind of running at each other and clashing in a big empty field, constant one-liner quips instead of actual jokes, the need to take out key targets to make the whole enemy army disappear, a villain who has a point but has to randomly hurt people so that there's an excuse for the heroes to fight him. When combined with how shit the multiverse stuff is, this whole show really is just Man of Action tackling some of the most played out storytelling tropes in modern pop culture in the most bland way possible. What a bunch of hacks.

By far, the one truly fun thing that happens in this protracted final battle is when a giant robot based on Big appears. It doesn't have arms or legs, but it can swing itself around to use its tail like a giant mace, and it can also shoot Froggy-shaped missiles out of its mouth. I wish the rest of the show was even half as fun as this. Again, Sonic Prime has just enough good moments to make you mad that the rest of the show isn't better.

The thing is, all this repetitive (but well-animated) action and the thin excuse plot would be totally serviceable if I just gave a shit about the characters involved. But I don't. I don't care what happens to the pirate version of Amy who goes "arrr." I don't care about what happens to Hipster Eggman. And unfortunately, by the end, I didn't really care about Nine, either.

Nine as a villain

It's hard to criticize the story here without it coming off as a broad condemnation of the tropes at play. The thing is, I like many stories that try to do similar things. I love clashes between heroes and villains that are really just fantastical exaggerations of more personal conflicts. I love stories where a tragic, sympathetic villain lashes out at the world as an expression of the pain they feel, and a compassionate hero just has to get through to them. I eat that shit right up. Undertale is my favorite game ever made. Shit, I love other Sonic stories that do these exact things. And Sonic having to fight an alternate timeline version of Tails also has so much potential for drama!

So I can very easily imagine a version of the show where all this works for me. That just isn't the version we got.

Like I said last time, Nine's motivation is just too sympathetic and understandable for his sudden turn to supervillainy to make any sense. He just wanted to start over somewhere where he can be happy after a childhood filled with bullying and loneliness. Nine betraying Sonic and stealing the Paradox Prism to go make his own world? That tracks! Especially since we don't even know if Nine will still exist if Sonic goes through with his plan to restore his original world! But trying to kill everyone in New Yolk City by tilting the world 90 degrees, intentionally targeting the civilian population because it'll get to Sonic? Nope! Sorry, that's a bridge too far. I don't buy it. He's jaded and antisocial, but he doesn't strike me as cruel. Writing in an excuse about him needing Sonic's energy to fix the Prism does not make this make more sense.

This was really just one of those conflicts where it felt like everyone should stop and talk it out. Instead we got six episodes of fighting before one of Sonic's many, MANY attempts at reasoning with Nine throughout the season finally works. This isn't me pulling some Cinema Sins bullshit where I complain about characters in a work of fiction not always behaving rationally - the real problem is that it's just so damn repetitive waiting for this conflict to resolve. This could have been wrapped up in two or three episodes and instead it takes seven.

A brief aside about that weird Dorkly-ass Sonic Advance 3 flashback scene hacked together with mismatched sprites where Gemerl happens to be present, presumably just because he's a part of the sprite for the Sunset Hill boss, and seeing him briefly makes me remember the extended cast from the games and how much I wish they had just made a cartoon about them instead of a bunch of stock characters wearing the skin of Sonic's friends, but then Gemerl just explodes with the boss machine at the end while Eggman is shown to get away so I guess Gemerl just dies in this flashback

Yeah that sure happened huh

The ending

Despite having a final battle that felt like an eternity, Sonic Prime is a show that just kind of... ends. And that ending is weird and haphazard.

The understanding I had was that Sonic's normal world had "shattered" when the Paradox Prism was destroyed, and from those remnants these new worlds were created. This is why they use terms like "Shatterverse" and "Shatterspaces" and why there's shattered glass/crystal/whatever imagery everywhere. This is a broken, fragmented version of the real universe. Right? Right?? Isn't that the entire premise of the show? And therefore, if the universe has been shattered, then fixing it means putting all the shattered pieces back together. Which I would assume means that the Shatterspaces cease to exist.

So, in the ending... Sonic's world seems to just exist as another Shatterspace. Restoring the Paradox Prism doesn't seem to combine the worlds or anything, it just fixes the broken portal to Sonic's world that exists alongside all the others. So... what exactly was the point of all the shattered glass symbolism?

Things only get more confusing as the ending progresses. Shadow brings Sonic through the portal before the draining of Sonic's whatever energy makes him disappear, and they're transported back in time to right before Sonic broke the Paradox Prism. Only Sonic seems to remember what happened (Shadow might remember, but he doesn't say anything), and with the Paradox Prism never shattered, it's unclear if the Shatterspaces exist now.

I'm not particularly hung up on the time loop ending. It's very much in line with all sorts of classic morality tales like A Christmas Carol or It's a Wonderful Life, where the flawed protagonist goes through some kind of magical experience and then returns home with a new appreciation for the people in their life. It's always been pretty obvious that was the type of story they were telling. I'm more bothered by the fact that there's no time whatsoever spent on whether or not the other worlds and the characters in them continue to exist. Sonic seems to act like the worlds will go on without him before he leaves, but it's not like we get an ending scene that shows how the other worlds are doing, so they really truly might as well not exist anymore. Sonic just wraps up the adventure from the first episode when he gets home, and before he can explain what happened from his perspective he's interrupted by a mysterious energy wave from off-screen and it's off to the next adventure.

(Despite this odd cliffhanger ending, the show is extremely over and not coming back. I have to imagine this is just a "the adventures never end" type ending and not a hint that more shit is going on with the Paradox Prism.)

This ending is also a terrible resolution to Nine's whole arc, despite him being the driving force of so much of the show. The way I see it, there are are three possible fates for him:

The Shatterspaces continue existing, and things go as Sonic expects them to go. Nine is allowed to make the Grim into his own little utopia, and everyone else leaves him alone instead of punishing him for all the trouble he caused. Instead of finding love and acceptance so he can heal from a lifetime of bullying and loneliness, Nine is allowed to run away, isolating himself from every other living being in the multiverse, and live alone as the god of an empty world with only his own creations as company. Sonic was his only friend, and he's gone forever now.

The Shatterspaces continue existing, but because of the time travel ending, most of the events of the show never happened. Sonic never helped defeat the Chaos Council, so they still control New Yolk City. Nine is back to living in this dystopian city with no friends. He never met Sonic.

The Shatterspaces have been erased. After fighting so hard for his right to exist as his own person and not just a "wrong" version of Tails, when the timeline is altered, he just... stops existing. Along with almost every other character in the show.

Do I even need to explain why these are all unsatisfying?

Misc. thoughts

I skimmed over this, but a lot of the final season is just spent seeing Sonic's friends bicker with the Chaos Council and then Sonic has to beg them to get along to save the universe. It gets old.

We also never really got an explanation for why the Chaos Council exists. They can't have come from other Shatterspaces because there ARE no other Shatterspaces. If the original Eggman was just split into five guys or time travel was involved or whatever, it never comes up. I can live with this, but it seems like an odd omission for a children's show that's constantly bogged down in technobabble explaining the mechanics of its extremely small and finite multiverse.

I have no idea where Shadow was for the first part of the final battle. I figured Nine must have captured him off-screen after Sonic first left the Grim, but Shadow was just... hanging around until his cue in the script, I guess?

Sonic saying "help a brother up" to Shadow was funny

Hipster Eggman pointing to one of the few nameless extras who tagged along for the final battle and going "Who are you? Seriously, does anyone know who this is?" was the only funny thing he did in the entire show

Mangy Tails randomly pressing buttons on the Chaos Council's generator like a curious animal and managing to improve its output was cute

Rusty Rose randomly realizes that the Birdie in her chest actually isn't being used as a power source, and that the Chaos Council was just... using that to manipulate her, somehow? I don't really know how that works but whatever

The Sonic Advance 3 flashback uses the actual boss music from the game, but they can't use the real Sunset Hill theme because they didn't wanna pay Masato Nakamura for using the Green Hill motif, I guess

To my fellow fans of bad games: did you know that Man of Action wrote the story for the bizarre Square Enix game The Quiet Man? The one where the lengthy FMV cutscenes play out with muffled audio and no subtitles because the protagonist is deaf, so you can't tell what's going on? And you had to do a New Game+ playthrough to actually hear the audio and understand what's going on? The worst-reviewed game of 2018? That one? I only learned that recently and it blew me away

So yeah, that's the end of the show. I didn't like it, and I don't think I liked the show much as a whole. I am far from alone in this sentiment, but the reasons why people dislike the show... those vary a bit.

The canon conundrum

More than anything else, it seems like most other discourse surrounding this show has been consumed by one talking point:

How can this be canon? Why is it canon?

I want to state very clearly up front that I, too, am a person who's noticed and complained about the inconsistencies with the games in Sonic Prime. Some of the characters are a bit off - or, you know, completely unrecognizable when discussing the writing of some of the AU counterparts. I think it's lame to say Sonic and friends all live in Green Hill and act like that's the entirety of their world. That sort of thing. But if Sega says it's canon to everything else? Sure. Fine. There's weirder shit in the canon.

Really, most of this can be explained away pretty easily. The show was written at a time when Sega was still figuring shit out and there were looser restrictions. Why does Sonic act a little more immature? Probably just because Prime is aiming for a slightly younger audience than the games or the IDW comics. (And also it's, y'know, written by Man of Action, who people have accused of only knowing how to write one kind of protagonist for years.) Why do Sonic and friends live in Green Hill? Because that's the most recognizable location from the games, and the game world doesn't get enough screentime to justify modeling multiple different environments, so they just focus on Green Hill. Why is this considered canon to the games? Because this is the first Sonic cartoon that outright references events from the games as things that have happened to Sonic in the past.

But announcing early on that Prime would be canon certainly let fans' imaginations wander. It was one of the few things we knew about the show before it premiered. People wondered if characters from the games and comics who had never made any appearances in Sonic cartoons might get their time in the spotlight. We wondered if it would tie into the lore or any existing storylines in interesting ways, like the IDW comics do. But above all else, we hoped that its canon status would mean that Sonic Prime would finally be the Sonic cartoon that was faithful to the source material with no catches. We've literally never seen the actual world of the games brought to life in a TV show. Sonic X came the closest, but that still took its liberties. And so hype built for this Canon Sonic Cartoon.

And then it actually came out, and after a brief intro in Green Hill based loosely on the games, it spent most of its running time focusing on things like "what if there was a version of Eggman who was a bratty teen who just wanted to play video games?" The disappointment among fans is understandable. I am disappointed. Look at how much I've bitched about this aggressively mid cartoon.

Some fans, however, came up with an elaborate theory about the series. You see, when asked about the show's place in the game timeline during a live Q&A, Ian Flynn (who only served as a consultant on Sonic Prime and did not write any of it) said this:

"I cannot answer because I know the answer, and you haven't finished watching the show yet."

A couple days later, when answering another question about Prime's place in the timeline and also about a writing discrepancy, he said this:

"As to where it fits on the timeline, I can't speak to it because that would spoil the show to a degree. So you're just gonna have to wait 'til it's done. Towards the other point, I don't know how much I can say, so it's probably better that I not comment. That's a really dissatisfying answer, I know, I'm sorry, but my hands are kinda tied on that one."

I feel the need to quote Ian directly here, because these very basic statements about how he can't talk about behind the scenes shit or anything from unreleased episodes was GREATLY misinterpreted by the fandom. People clung onto Ian's claim that we had to keep watching like a life preserver. Some took it as Ian saying that the ending would explain everything. Finally, we'd have a definitive answer for every little discrepancy and the apparent differences in worldbuilding. An explanation for why Sega and the producers repeatedly insist this show HAS to be canon.

And to these fans, the only explanation that made any sense... would be if the ending of Sonic Prime pulled a Flashpoint.

As this theory explained, the Sonic we were following in Sonic Prime wasn't the Sonic we know from the games and the IDW comics, and likewise the world he comes from isn't really the game world. This is a different Sonic who fights a different Eggman in a world that's literally just Green Hill. It was a hint that something was off all along! But in the end of the series, this Sonic would sacrifice himself to merge all of the Shatter Spaces together and form a brand new world, and that would be the more visually diverse world of the games and comics. According to this theory, Sonic Prime was canon because it was a new origin story for the entire franchise.

I want you to really stop and think about how asinine of an origin story this would be. Really drink this in. The idea that there was another, slightly different version of Sonic who went on a kinda shitty multiverse adventure and then sacrificed himself to create the real Sonic that we've known since 1991. People convinced themselves this made more sense than the simple explanation that a different team of writers got some stuff wrong and Sega didn't make them change it. Interviews where producers talked about drawing on Sonic's "mythology" (ie: they reference the games in the show) were taken very literally - they must be saying that Prime's story is mythological in nature, and that this show would be integral to the games' mythology. Why bother making a show that's canon if it's not going to be crucial to that canon, after all?

The final episodes dropped, and none of this happened. Because of course it didn't. It was all Sherlock fandom-level copium. But fans were left confused by the lack of a grand reveal of where Sonic Prime fits in the timeline, believing they had been promised this, and they turned to Ian for an explanation. Ian's answer:

It doesn't matter, b/c Prime wipes itself out. It's sometime after Advance 3*, but otherwise, it's moot. I didn't want to sour anyone's expectations or investment by spoiling how Prime resolves, that's all. If you enjoyed it, awesome. Savor it. If you didn't, then you can safely ignore it. Simple as that.

* About a trillion people have um, actually'd Ian to point out Orbot and Cubot briefly appear in the show, but if we're really being pedantic here we don't actually know how long before Colors Eggman built Orbot and Cubot, so it wouldn't be fully accurate to say a story featuring Orbot and Cubot couldn't be set before Colors. Either way, a story set anywhere around Colors, or at any point later than that, could still be described as "sometime after Advance 3." Advance 3 is just the most recent game that has specific in-game events referenced in the show. Yes I can feel myself morphing into the nerd emoji before your very eyes

Anyway, this is the latest reason Ian is getting death threats on Twitter. This time it's over a show he barely even had any input on!

I'll cut to the chase. It is truly wild to me that people are getting this heated over canonical inconsistencies in a series as historically inconsistent as Sonic, to the point that they think threatening Ian is justified. The aesthetics of the entire world Sonic inhabits change every other game. Sonic Chronicles may no longer be canon due to the Penders lawsuits, but it was canon at one point, and it took huge liberties with Sonic's world, moving Green Hill off of South Island and reinterpreting Station Square as a tiny outpost in a snowy alpine forest region. Characters' personalities change from writer to writer and based on what Sega wants at the time, with some being WILDLY different across different games. One game Sonic will be stoic and cool, the next he thinks "Baldy McNosehair" is the funniest thing ever. Sega's STILL trying to figure out what Amy's personality is supposed to be. We still don't have the explanation for how the two seemingly contradictory backstories for Blaze can fit together. There have been multiple huge, sweeping retcons, and retcons to those retcons. Sonic Forces claims that Classic Sonic is from an entirely different universe than Modern Sonic, and the plot only makes any sense if that's true - otherwise, Modern Sonic would have already known Eggman was going to beat him and take over the world when he did, because his younger self had already lived through that war. All of that makes no sense in the newly reunified timeline, but Forces is very much still canon.

For fuck's sake, we're talking about the series where Eggman blew up half the moon and then it looked completely normal in every other game after, explained away as "the moon just rotated so we can't see the destroyed side from Earth." This has never, ever, ever been a franchise where everything lines up perfectly with no issues. It's not that serious.

The real core problem with Prime isn't that things don't line up 100% with our current understanding of canon, or that Sonic's characterization means this can't be the real Sonic, or anything like that. The problem, as I've been saying this whole time, is that the story is bad. None of these discrepancies would truly matter if the story was better. They'd just be nitpicks. The fact that Sonic and friends live in Green Hill would be the farthest thing from my mind if the drama was more engaging, if the villains were better, if the jokes were actually funny, if more of the alternate universe counterparts of Sonic's friends had more than one generic character trait each, if the multiverse was more creative and varied, if the final seven episodes of this show didn't devolve into the third act of an MCU movie and then just arbitrarily end, if Nine's character arc actually had a satisfying conclusion instead of ending with either isolation or nonexistence. Maybe we'd be seeing people talk about more than just whether or not it should be considered canon if the writing was any good.

"Canon" is not real, and it sure as hell isn't worth sending people death threats over. It's a storytelling tool. Real human beings decide what does and doesn't go into that canon, or how much they do or don't want to draw on past stories, when creating a new story. Serving that canon is secondary to creating a story where the emotional truth resonates with the audience. And Sonic Prime failed to do that. That is its true failing.

And finally, to close out...

Since people will ask, here are my current ranking of the Sonic TV shows, now that Prime is finished.

Sonic Boom

Sonic SatAM

Sonic X

The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog

Sonic Prime

Sonic Underground

Yes, I'd say Boom is my favorite. It's far from my ideal Sonic cartoon, but it gets a lot of points for being as funny as it is. But the top four are all shows I'd say I like, more or less. They all have their pros and cons.

So now, uh... I guess let's hope the live action Knuckles show coming to Paramount+ is better than the underwhelming synopsis of "Knuckles helps deputy sheriff Wade train in the ways of the echidna warrior" would imply? Maybe we'll get lucky?

[kuroshitsuji-wiki]

Kuroshitsuji Wiki now on wiki.gg!

As of today (February 24, 2025), the Kuroshitsuji Wiki has left Fandom Wiki and moved officially to wiki.gg! The new wiki can be found here!

From now on, only this wiki will be updated, not the Fandom one.

Why did this happen?

Please read these posts to learn all the reasons why the wiki was ultimately moved.

TL;DR: Fandom's latest policy auto-blocked the word "fag," making a good portion of the wiki uneditable. Fandom, as a site and wiki farm, has become increasingly bad and hostile over the years for many, many other reasons too.

What is new?

Amongst others:

More information: I revised/expanded some pages during the onboarding phase. Not as many as I wanted to, but some nonetheless! I also revamped the layout of the arc pages, though the summaries are still works in progress. I've started adding voice actors to the episode pages (Season 1 is finished, the rest will follow). Ch108 was mistakenly sorted into the Blue Cult Arc though it still belongs to the Emerald Witch Arc; this was fixed. Etc.

(Screenshot from Harcourt's Fandom article. That was a pitiable section orz (Clayton and Cheslock were not better off, embarrassingly.))

More themes/skins: On Fandom, you could only switch between light and dark mode. I put together four different themes for the new wiki, two of which commemorate S4 and S5 :) I hope they are to your liking!

Link hover previews: If you hover over a link now, you get a little preview of the page!

A better, prettier mobile experience: Colours and customisations are now retained on mobile. The references section now looks normal and does not send you on an endless scrolling spree. References actually pop up when you click on them. Etc.

Less ads!!!: THE #1 grievance people have with Fandom Wiki. wiki.gg has very few ads (and they are unintrusive ads too) on both desktop and mobile. If you are logged in, there are no ads whatsoever.

The move of one particular spoiler page (information under the cut)

(And some more things that might be too boring to list here, heh.)

And, of course, the freedom from Fandom and its horrible whims. Pages containing the word "fag" can now be edited again :)

(The little trivia that started it all: I wanted to add it to Diedrich's page and move on to a gazillion other things when I got the notice that my edit was blocked by Fandom's spam filter. It's finally on his page! It only took four months and one site migration...)

What can I do?

You can help out the new wiki by...

... never going on the Fandom Wiki again. Every visit there only strengthens its SEO. Please do not edit the old wiki anymore too, and do not vandalise it now even if it's tempting. Edits only push it more. (Because of Fandom's shitty forking policy, the old wiki cannot be deleted, unfortunately.)

... adding the wiki.gg redirect and Indie Wiki Buddy browser extensions. They send/redirect you to the independent alternative of a Fandom Wiki if such an option exists. (This, of course, helps other wikis that moved too, not just KuroWiki.)

... by sharing the news. "How's the weather?" "Pretty nice, but have you heard that the Kuroshitsuji Wiki moved?"

... by editing. If you want, please feel free to come and edit the wiki! If you used to have a Fandom Wiki account, you can reclaim it here (help for how to do that), or create a new wiki.gg account.

... or by simply visiting and using the new wiki.

I'm so happy the migration is finally done. I hope you like the new wiki, and thank you so much for all the lovely words you had regarding this migration and for all your help!^^ I'll go and continue editing the wiki with new joy and getting to the gazillion things I planned but haven't been able to do during the onboarding.*

*wikis are just never done...

And hello...

:)

----

Regarding that one spoiler page (Ch129 onwards, if you know you know):

The article for Smile's older twin brother, the original and actual Ciel Phantomhive is called "Ciel Phantomhive" (with the quotation marks) on the Fandom Wiki. He's called "Ciel" in articles too.

This was done because when he showed up in Ch129, it was not 100% confirmed yet whether that was Smile's twin, not just a clone or whatnot. A month later, it was confirmed that this was indeed Ciel's twin the actual Ciel. However, the article's name stayed. This had the advantage that the real Ciel's page would not appear when you typed in Ciel in the search bar.

wiki.gg's search function is better than Fandom's though and, here, if you type in Ciel, the search bar suggests pages that contain that word, not just start with it.

(I, unfortunately, forgot to take a screenshot before renaming the page...)

This is better illustrated with the search results for butler:

Innocently typing in Ciel into the search bar would have sent people to the spoiler, and that would be very shitty, wouldn't it? Especially with the influx of anime-onlys.

(I've also seen people complain about the quotation marks too. And, for whatever reason, that way of referring to him made it to Wikipedia???)

The quotation marks messed up the image migration too. Files with quotation marks in their names were the only ones that weren't transferred "properly" (the quotation marks were removed during the migration. Ch130 Ciel and Ciel.png is a horrid file name).

Anyway, I ended up renaming real Ciel's page to Lord Phantomhive. Real Ciel Phantomhive or Ciel Phantomhive (real) would have had the same search results as "Ciel Phantomhive" after all. There could not be a given name in the title.

"Lord Phantomhive" is the title he held as an earl's first son. Also, the fact that Tanaka, apparently, used to refer to Smile as "Lord Ciel"/"Ciel-sama" (Ch19) before the fire and now only calls him "Young Master" was one piece of evidence often brought forward for the Two Ciels Theory when it was still a theory. And, despite Undertaker's words that "Earl Phantomhive is still alive":

"Earl Phantomhive" fell through as an option too. (And because people might have searched for it looking for Smile, and because "Earl Phantomhive" is also Vincent.)

In articles, the real Ciel is either called "the real Ciel" or "Lord Ciel" or "the older brother/twin" or such. I hope I made the distinction between the twins clear enough in the texts.

[randomfoggytiger]

I kind of hate even asking this question but I’m going to ask it anyway.

Why do you think CC decided to totally retcon the mythology in the revival? Do you think he was bored of it? Did he think it didn’t fit in with “modern times”?

I know the mythology was kind of a mess at the end but I don’t think it was so bad that it was beyond saving.

It’s just, when you watch the struggles and accept the retcon it makes the Orginal Series feel like a waste of time. I’ve also heard theories that the Struggle episodes are told by an “unreliable narrator” for example CSM is an unreliable narrator in MSIII, Jackson is unreliable in MSIV. That just sounds like a cop out. It all just gives me a headache honestly. 🙁

tl;dr: CC is interested in new ideas; and will always be willing to cast off old ones in pursuit of fresher perspectives. His passion for the latter mythology was born from Dr. Simon's and Dr. Fearon's last-minute theory; but when it got fan backlash, he pivoted the focus from his revitalized mythology to the abandoned William arc. However: because he was chasing tantalizing ideas rather than a focused conclusion, Carter completely fumbled in his attempts to close up old threads in order to start afresh.

A couple reasons:

CC and Spotnitz wrapped up the original mythology in Season 6 (One Son), deciding that it had both blossomed out of control and somehow come together. Mythology wrapped up, they then finished off the Samantha arc in Season 7 and began a new mytharc in Season 8. Season 8's Existence, according to Spotnitz, functioned as the end of the original X-Files as a whole--

Spotnitz: "And the series will be different, whoever comes back for it [Season 9]-if there is another year. We’re still working out what that final story is, but there are a couple of elements that we know are going to be in there. And those two elements close the chapter.”

and,

Spotnitz: Whatever I said, what I mean to say is that 8 years of the series will come to a close this May, regardless of whether there is an X-Files next season. I actually believe most of the important questions about the mythology have already been answered, believe it or not, and you will see some new ones asked in upcoming shows.

--leaving room for Season 9 to begin a new chapter for the show (one no longer centered on Mulder and Scully's evolving story, since it had been concluded.)

That... didn't work. So, IWTB's focus, years later, was on a MOTW instead, with the hope that it would succeed and become a stepping stone to a movie-mythology franchise series.

That didn't work, either. But CC never gave up hope for a 3rd movie.

Then 2015 rolled around and FOX approached him for a revival.

Carter: I had one question thrown out to me at a meeting. [Fox Television CEO] Dana Walden asked, “If there were another series, when do you think you could begin work on it?” It wasn’t an overture, more of a practical issue. That was before the show ever aired and they knew what the ratings would be. There’s been no conversation about doing more of these. With the ratings news, it’s hard to imagine that they wouldn’t come back to us.

I would love to do another movie. Especially coming off that second movie, which had such a heavy weight upon it: A summer-release, low-budget movie, with no promotion, in a crowded field of tentpole fare. I was asked to do so much with so little. And I tried! If we were to do another movie, it would need to be akin to the first movie, which I thought was a story worthy of the big screen. That said, I can’t imagine they won’t want to somehow figure out how to do this on TV.

CC didn't know where to take the show, and only signed on after being told the season would be short (and might give him a movie, which is what he really wanted.) It was Dr. Anne Simon that actually got him excited about the mytharc again: as she tells it,

"What was the Conspiracy? This [Struggle I and II] is the conspiracy. Now, did Chris know that this was the conspiracy [since the original show]? Obviously not-- because I told him what the conspiracy was. But he knew that there was a Conspiracy-- he just didn’t know what it was. But when I told him, when I gave him this idea [plot for MSI/II], he was just, ‘This is amazing’-- I mean, he was so happy. ‘I want more, I want more, I want more!’ And every time I sent him these pages, typed pages, he was just, he was extremely happy. I could tell how happy he was.”

(Dr. Anne Simon's an interesting rabbit hole to go down, btw. Gonna do a post on her contributions in the future.)

He redid the focus of the show in Season 10; and his writers and collaborators and even his actors-- David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, both-- thought it was a well-written season (I know....) But the fans did not.

So, CC made a statement after FOX confirmed S11: shippers had been heard-- there would be more MSR and William. So much so, he brought William back purposefully to give his arc a resolution.

And when that didn't work out-- when CC's 'perfect' ending was hated by fans (and famously, Gillian) for feeling more like a cop out than an address-and-move-forward conclusion, he felt slighted and misunderstood.

In short, Carter wasn't invested in his series anymore-- and, to be fair, neither were David and Gillian: all three (and Spotnitz) wanted to do movies instead. FOX said no; so, they took on Season 8 and 9. When the middling traction from S8 flopped in S9, CC deviated from the mytharc and did IWTB. That flubbed; and he let the matter rest for a few years (still hoping for more movies.) When FOX only agreed to do another series, he didn't know what to do with the mytharc. Then Dr. Anne Simon and Margaret Fearon gave him a direction-- and, yes, both worked on (and cosigned) the mytharc episodes-- and got him excited to do something new; and more of it. And we all saw what happened thereafter.

(Dr. Anne Simon also worked on the OG mytharc episodes, and has nothing but good things to say about them and the Revival. Again, a future rabbit hole.)

In conclusion: once CC's interest is engaged, he loses track of all else and devotes his aspirations to that one thing-- to the detriment of not only the whole picture (i.e. mythology) but also other equally important moving parts (i.e. Gillian's desire to move on.)

I could go on, but I think that's it for now.

[the-fiction-witch]

Via Call

Media - Doctor Who (The Lodger Episode) Character - The Doctor (11th) Couple - The Doctor X Reader Reader - Y/n (Companion) Rating - Smut Word Count - 3300

Due to the goings-on of alien business this week, the doctor had to lay low while investigating. He had taken up a flatshare below the suspicious goings-on and was acting human. While Y/n remained in the TARDIS orbiting above where it was safe. The doctor bounced on his bed, tinkering around his room, earpiece in his ear on a call with Y/n back in the TARDIS a special dampener on the earpiece so anyone listening will only hear nonsense allowing them to talk as needed. 

"So how are you enjoying it? Pretending to be a normal human I mean?" Y/n asks

"Oh, you know, it's not so bad. I mean, the 21st century? You guys know your way around a bedroom." He laughs as he rolls over and pulls at the sheets on his bed. "Although, I think I need something to pass the time. So far it's been a few days of absolutely nothing. How is the TARDIS by the way? I hope you haven't gotten into trouble without me."

"the tardis is fine. I'm fine too thanks for asking"

He rolls his eyes playfully, "You're no fun at all. At least try and get a little bit up to trouble why I'm working." He lets out a small and frustrated sigh, "This case will be the end of me. There's almost nothing I can find... It's almost like the alien is a ghost or something..."

"Who knows what it is that's what you're meant to be figuring out. You need me to bring anything down for you?"

"Well," He hums thoughtfully, "I suppose I could use some of that jelly baby stash."

"you can just buy jelly babies, doctor"

"Yes, but the TARDIS ones are the better ones!" The Doctor sits up and crosses his legs and leans into the bed, "plus I'd like for you to come here and hang out with me. It gets lonely when I'm pretending to be human all the time. It is boring."

"And what are you going to say if that flatmate of yours happens to them up while I'm visiting?"

“You’re my companion just tell him that,”

“People don’t say that doctor,”

“Oh… Partner then? Is that better than companion?”

“Slightly…”

“Say that you're my girlfriend..." He says casually as he swings his legs over the bed, "That's what humans do nowadays, right? I'm still figuring them out..."  He looks at the mirror and rubs at the sides of his face, "I look old. Humans hate that right?"

"you look fine very handsome I'm sure" her voice chuckled "I don't know if I could pull off being your girlfriend I'm not a good actress... Besides I'm keeping the TARDIS up here we're it's safe like you told me at least till you know what It is"

"Oh, honestly don't worry about your acting. The human mind is so simple, you could probably fool them with a simple hug and a kiss on the cheek." He smiles and stands up, pushing his hair back a little. "Besides, you're very pretty. You'll have them melting as soon as you walk in the door and they get a look at your eyes."

"aww you’re sweet, only two weeks on earth and you're already losing it bouncing around the walls"

"Oh, shush. Is it so much to ask to want to see you again? I just..." He sighs, "I miss your face, I miss your voice, I've almost gotten myself in trouble at least five times without you..." He chuckles slightly, fixing his bow tie and checking himself in to mirror, "I feel... Lost, I suppose."

"well I'm only in the tardis you can call me on this earpiece thing as much as you want and you can hear my voice,"

"It's different though, I can't touch you. Your voice isn't the same as when I can feel it vibrating through your chest. I can't hear all of those thoughts you always think but don't say. The sounds of your stomach when your hungry or the little laugh you do when I'm going on and on about something that doesn't make sense to anyone but me." He lets out a small sigh, 

"well it's only for a little while" she giggled "Just till you find what's going on then you can come back to the TARDIS and we can go spend a week at the Crystal Falls okay?"

"A week?" The Doctor grins at the prospect of the idea, "You mean a week just the two of us? Alone there? With a view of those crystal waters and the falling rocks?"

He turns away from the mirror to lean back against the wardrobe in the room, "that actually doesn't sound too bad. Are you actually suggesting a holiday? For the both of us?"

"I am, a little trip as soon as you sort all this out" she smiled

The Doctor laughs and nods, "Then it's settled. We can have a holiday and relax. No aliens, no saving the world, just some time for the two of us to relax and just get away. This time together will be nice... It's almost too romantic."

"Almost?" She smiled "Hey... If your really bored I have a game for you"

"What game is this hmm? Is it a fun game?" He tilts his head as he sits down on the end of his bed, kicking his legs playfully, "is it the kind of game that involves you and me? And by that I mean it's two people who play in person and not in calls?"

"nope just via call. It's a very fun game"

"Well if it involves you I'm sure it is! I guess I'm quite lucky like that." He laughs softly, "how do you play this game hmm? What do I need to do?"

"you have to guess where in the TARDIS I am."

"A game of hide and seek on the TARDIS? Well that sounds rather fun. Give me a hint of the general area that you're in... That gives me a little bit of a chance to guess"

"left side corridor"

"Ah, the left corridor? Hmm, that narrows it down..." The Doctor hummed thoughtfully before snapping his fingers as something clicked in his mind, "I think I know where you are now. You little minx, I bet your in the library, aren't you?"

"nope"

"Damn." He smiles and snaps his fingers with a click of his tongue, "hmm, well not the Library. You're too mischievous to hide in an obvious place. Maybe... The swimming pool! Is that where you're hiding?"

"Nope try again,"

"Not the swimming pool either? Hmm, what other room do we have on the left side corridor..." He hums thoughtfully as he rubs at his jawline, the cogs in his mind whirring to think of another place...

"Oh!" He snaps his fingers again, "got it! The media room! You're definitely in the media room!"

"not the media room." She giggled "Have a clue" she smiled and the sound of bedsprings come through,

He laughs quietly as he hears the springs come through his ear piece, "wait... You're on a bed now? Hmm... A bed you say... And on the left side corridor no less..." He grins and clicks his fingers again as he realises exactly where she is, "ha! I know exactly where you are now, don't think you're clever enough to trick me... You're in your room aren't you? In the bed, bouncing on the springs and making noise so I know for sure you're there. I'm right aren't I?"

"not my room"

"Not... Your room?" He huffs with a smile and shakes his head, "you're making this very difficult on purpose aren't you."

A lightbulb moments goes off in his head as the truth comes to him, "wait! You're in MY room, aren't you? That's where you are! In my room, on my bed, giggling to yourself as you wait to see how long I'm going to take to figure this out."

"maybe" she giggled 

"Bingo." He laughs and stands up again, "I knew that you were there. I'm just too good at this game aren't I? Don't think you're as clever as me now."

He leans his against the wardrobe and rolls his sleeves up, "so, tell me. What are you doing in my bed? Aside from giggling of course, hmm?"

"nothing..." She answered with a sly smile

"Oh?" He raises an eyebrow and smiles, "you're not doing anything at all in my bed, hmm? It's just you, in my bed, by yourself. That doesn't sound suspicious at all now does it?" His tone suggests he knows she's up to something, "why are you in my room? On my bed no less. Surely you're not thinking about sleeping in my sheets are you? You cheeky minx..."

"already done" she teased "Been sleeping in your bed sheets since you left"

The Doctor's jaw drops in shock and he laughs loudly, "you've been sleeping in my bed? What have you been doing in there, hmm? Anything exciting in my bed, Miss Y/n? Tell me, what are my sheets like to sleep on?"

"very soft and Cosy, silky and smooth, and they smell like your hugs"

"You've been wrapping yourself up, thinking of me at night hmm?" He takes a few steps closer to the bed, "now why would you be doing a thing like that, hmm? Getting all cosy in my sheets every night just thinking of me when I'm not there. Missing me that much?" He shakes his head with a fond smile and laughs quietly under his breath, "you really are a handful..."

"I'm not use to being here all on my own" she pouts "so I came to snuggle in your room while your gone just to keep it warm and cosy for you"

His smile softens at the adorable sight she would make just laying there pouting and wrapped up in his bed. It's almost something out right of his dreams. "Well... I do always love coming back to an even warmer and cosier room. I suppose you are keeping it warm for me, aren't you? It's very sweet of you." His voice is softer now, almost affectionate, "and you've been enjoying yourself?"

"very much" she cooed

"Good... That's really good." He nods and takes a couple more steps towards the bed, looking at the ceiling as he imagines exactly what she looks like right now, in HIS bed. His sheets wrapped around her, burying her in his scent, just wanting to be with him. His voice is quiet and low as he continues, "just lay there... Close your eyes okay?" 

she hummed through the earpiece clearly doing as he asked her even if she’s so far away

He takes a deep, slow breath and lets it out just a little too slowly to be a regular exhale. He closes his eyes as well and imagines her on his bed, wrapped tightly in his sheets, thinking of him like she said, "just imagine that your in the room. Just think it. Imagine that I'm with you, that we're together right now. Just imagine it..."

"hum ..." She hummed the sounds of her shifting in his sheets and her sweet sighs of happiness before he can just hear the small sounds of kisses and he figures out quickly in her relaxed sleepy state she began kissing his pillow and he can imagine her laid on his bed hugging his pillow like it's his chest peppering it with kisses cause she missed him so badly

He smiles and bites back a low groan at realising that she's doing exactly what he's thought, kissing and cuddling HIS pillow. Imagining it being HIM! The Doctor can see her in his mind and he imagines himself there with her, wrapped in the sheets together kissing her neck as she kisses his pillow. He lets out a shaky breath, wanting desperately to be in this moment with her. The Doctor's breathing starts to speed up a little, his cheeks start to flush as his eyes are still closed, "that's it. Just keep kissing the pillow like it's me... I'm there, with you, in the sheets. Wrapped up tight. Just imagine me..." He can't help the low groan that escapes his throat now, not when he's thinking of this beautiful woman kissing away on the pillow, wishing that it was him. He's desperately trying to hold himself back though.

her kisses and gentle giggles continue but slowly her tone shifts the kisses become longer the giggles and gasps become small moans and it's obvious even just thought sound what she's up to

The Doctor's cheeks flushing even more as his breathing gets faster and faster, more heavy with anticipation. He can picture her so perfectly in his mind and he's wanting nothing more than to be there with her, taking in each one of her sounds. He bites his bottom lip as his imagination gets away from him, "Y/n... Don't... Don't stop..." He can picture every single detail, her hair splayed out on the pillow, her flushed cheeks and flushed body as she holds onto the pillow and kisses it like it's him, like it's his "I'm... There... I'm right there with you... Holding you... Don't stop... I wanna hear you..." He manages to gasp out between breaths, every word being a struggle. The Doctor can feel his hearts racing and his breaths are coming fast now. So close to the edge that the last little imagination could tip him over.

her moans become louder and the sound of kisses disappears replaced by another sound of movement "Doctor!" 

He gasps out again as the sounds of her moans get louder and he shudders as he imagines the movement she's making as she holds onto the pillow. "Oh God, Y/n-! Mmm. Ohhh... What's that? What are... Tell me! Tell me!"

she giggled innocently "Not till you tell me"

His breath catches in his through as he hears her soft, seductive giggling, "tell you...tell you what... Oh uggh, you cheeky little minx. You really want me to say it don't you? You want me to tell you... Tell you everything don't you?"

"mhm what are you up to doctor then I'll tell you" she teased between moans

"uggh! Just hearing you moan and giggle so sweetly for me makes me want to go crazy. I can't help it, you just get me so excited." His voice is practically panting into the receiver now, he's so close to the edge just imagining her like he is. He shudders against the receiver again before talking again, "mmm. Now just tell me what you're up to! Don't be quiet now!"

she giggled and said in the most innocent of tones loud enough he could catch every word "sitting on your bed, in your sheets, in one of your shirts, riding on your pillow imagining I had company"

The Doctor gasped out and groaned loudly, practically into the mic at the sounds of her words and imagined image in his mind. That...was enough to send him over the edge. "By the stars... Y/n...." He panted out between breaths, shuddering and moaning as his eyes rolled back for a moment. "I... Want you. So badly. So, so badly..."

"and what are you doing? Surely my cute little noises aren't being listened to while you just lay on that boring bed?"

"Listening and listening again and...imagining... It's making me go a little insane, but I can't stop listening to you. Just your voice is making me feel so good. Oh god I'm-" He's cut off by his own gasp and low moan and there's the sound of him shifting a little where he sits. His breath catches and he huffs out a shaky breath as he slowly comes down again, "you make it so hard to control myself, my dear."

"I'm sure controling yourself isn't all that's hard" she teased before she moaned his name again

The sound of her moaning out his name made the Doctor shiver and he swallowed harshly before he spoke again, his already gravely voice a little bit more low and rough now, "uggh woman you're killing me. You're gonna drive me completely insane if you keep moaning my name like that you naughty minx."

"I'll stop when you admit it"

He shudders again as he hears her soft, innocent voice in his ear. uggh that voice always gets him all hot and bothered. A groan comes from low in his throat before he finally manages to answer her, "Admit what, my dear hmmm?"

She giggled before she whispered into the earpiece "that your hard doctor?"

"By the stars you really do know just how to drive me mad." He groaned again and his voice shook with his next words. uggh his voice was so wrecked and hoarse now, he's sounding just so desperate. "Y-Yes... Yes, of course I'm hard. Just... Just” He huffed out a breath and shuddered a low groan against the ear piece before continuing, "imagining...imagining you right now...imagining what you're doing and the sounds you're making...how I just want to be there with you. How I just want to hold you close...I'm desperate for you, you sweet little minx."

"well as soon as you find out what's going on down there we can take our little trip a whole week at the Crystal Falls In a cute little cabin just you and me. And I'll sleep in your bed every night" 

His breath shudders again for a second as he imagines this. Just a week with her at the crystal falls in a cozy little cabin, her all curled up in HIS bed, in HIS shirt and wrapped up in HIS sheets. Just the two of them together… "Oh, yes..." He moans again, so low and almost right into his ear piece now as his eyes shut tight again, "uggh yes I want that."

The squeal that he hears from her is almost too much for the Doctor to handle. Just imagining her and knowing that he's getting her all riled up and needy, it's almost driving him insane. All he wants is to just be there with her, wrapped up together in his sheets. "Y/n...are you...are you close, darling?"

"mhm," she whines "I want to... With you... Please"

He shudders again at her needy whine, uggh she's so adorable. "Oh, I'd love that darling. I'd love that so, so much. I'm so, so close myself just thinking about you."

"doctor!" She screamed and squealed

The sound of her reaching her peak had sent him right over the edge again as he gasped out her name with a low, guttural groan that came from deep in his chest. "Sweet...Sweet stars... Y/n-oh uggh....!" He was panting and shaking against the receiver, his eyes shut tightly as he slowly comes down from his high again, his heart racing and his breaths coming out in low moans.

Y/n giggled "I think I'm just going to miss you more now..."

He laughed weakly in response, still coming back down from his high and calming himself down from that intense rush. uggh... She definitely knows how to get him up and send him spiralling, leaving him feeling all out in the open and vulnerable. "uggh, Y/n... That was some night. You're an absolute tease you know that? I'm gonna miss you terribly. I already know that this time apart is going to feel like an age."

"Maybe I could risk the TARDIS coming in for a... Little visit" she cooed "help you pass as human and all"

“Come down. Now.” He smirked before ending the call, 

[floatingcatacombs]

The Normal Author’s Girlfriend’s List Of Bad Yuri Anime

12 Days of Aniblogging 2024, Day 11

So you’ve seen some good yuri anime: Revolutionary Girl Utena (and the movie, if you want), Bloom Into You, Puella Magi Madoka Magica (plus, of course, Rebellion, which is essential), Bocchi: The Rock!, Girls Last Tour. You know HaruMichi and Farcille and poor sweet Tomoyo Daidouji and Quanxi’s whole deal. You’ve been queerbaited by Kyoani, or maybe you got lucky and watched Dragon Maid which was actually gay; you no longer get weirded out by incest; you wanted more Utena and got The Witch from Mercury S1 (good) or Revue Starlight (bad); maybe you’ve even gone back to Oniisama e and discovered Ryoko Ikeda’s incredible butch-for-butch technologies.

You’ve seen some good yuri and that’s been great. It’s just… there isn’t that much of it. Well, you could start reading manga, or books, or talking to actual women, but you want more yuri anime specifically.

To you, dear reader, I offer up this solution:

Bad Yuri.

Floating Catacombs 2025 Presents:

A Normal Author’s Girlfriend Production

The Normal Author’s Girlfriend’s List Of Bad Yuri Anime

Before we get started, let’s define our terms. First: Bad Yuri must not be in good taste. Second, let us consider some ‘ungood’ yuri, that we might understand what we aren’t looking for:

Case 1: Liz and the Blue Bird.

Boring and forgettable. Bad Yuri must be watchable.

Case 2: Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight.

Yeah the butchfemme was good but I spent this entire show waiting for KuroMaya and they only got half an episode. I don’t fucking care about ‘childhood friends’. Bad Yuri must be enjoyable.

Case 3: Hibike Euphonium

It has to be gay. Come on. This is like the most basic requirement.

Case 4: MagiRevo, Undead Murder Farce

Being gay is not enough. You have to have actual characters.

In sum: Bad Yuri must be in bad taste; it must be watchable on a minute-to-minute basis; it must not leave the watcher with a bad taste in her mouth; it must actually be gay; and it must have some semblance of characterization. In practice it is basically always violent and horny. We’re talking like Kill La Kill levels, although if you ever want to watch that you should just go see Promare instead. Also, I reserve the right to break any and all of these rules whenever I feel like it. Without further ado:

Cross Ange

Content Warnings: Blood, Violence, Death, Sexual Assault, Ryona, Incest, Bad Taste, Needlessly Edgy, It’s Just Porn At This Point, Incredibly Stupid Plot Twists, Pretty Much Every Fetish

Princess Ange’s traitorous older brother exiles her to an island full of lesbians, where she must pilot a mech to fight dragons in incredibly revealing clothing.

This is Code Geass if it was about a girl and also worse (sorry Roze of the Recapture). This show starts with a baby being arrested. They put the baby in a special little baby jail cage in the back of a police car. The first episode ends with lesbian rape under the justification of a strip search. The weak girls on Pussy Fight Island pull knives on each other at the slightest provocation; the stronger girls pull guns; the strongest girls just use their hands.

It’s got all the subtlety of villainess manga. It’s got girls pissing themselves. It’s got a girl named Riza, short for Lizardia, because she is secretly a DRAGON. Forget ‘Lesbian soldier hopelessly in love with her commander’ – it’s got that too but it has I kid you not a lesbian harem where the top dies in combat so one of the four harem girlies has to turn into a top like a clownfish undergoing sequential hermaphroditism and take over. And then she dies too and the next one in line has to take over and then it happens again and then when it’s down to two one of them leaves because she can tell the current top’s heart isn’t in it and defects to Akio Ohtori’s side, because at least he’s willing to fuck her (lesbian cuckold count: 1) And everybody’s ass is out at all times.

It’s also got a surprising amount of Gundam intertextuality? The comparisons to Iron-Blooded Orphans are obvious; Kira Yamato is there, for some reason; her mecha is the Zeta Gundam but if it was the Strike Freedom with the TR-6 Woundwort’s Psyco Blade Goddess Antenna from Mobile Suit Gundam: Advance of Zeta: The Flag of Titans; the girls in Ange’s squadron each map perfectly to Shaddiq Zenelli’s Grassley girls.

But that’s not what you’re here for. You’re here for the scene where Hilda confesses that she’s in love with Ange but understands that Ange can never love her back, because Ange is already in love with Kira Yamato, and also with Salamandinay, a DRAGON princess from the True Earth who arrived through a dimensional rift to free Aura, the first DRAGON and the source of all magic, before Ange grabs her and gives her a full kiss while telling her that the world she’s fighting to create will have all kinds of relationships.

God Jill is so hot.

Shlock: Maximum

Lesbian: Yes, somehow, and bisexual as well. It is a male gaze thing but that’s going to be a constant with this microgenre. The vast majority of people who like women are men statistically and sometimes thank god they produce something like this

Watchability: High, if you have covid

Quality: Awful.

The Executioner And Her Way Of Life

Content Warnings: Death, Ryona, Incest, Bad Taste, Needlessly Edgy, Incredibly Stupid Plot Twist

Menou is a priestess in Isekai World whose job is to hunt down and kill Isekai Boys before they start causing problems with their Isekai Boy Powers. But this latest Isekai Boy Target… is a Girl With Enormous Tatas who she can’t kill because she auto-rewinds time to erase any wounds.

What really does it here for me is Menou’s relationship with her mentor, Flare, who groomed trained her from a young age to cut off all her emotions in order to make her a better executioner. I’m not immune to Empty Spaces/Combat Dolls/Signalis. What if Christianity wasn’t about raising girls as lambs to the slaughter but was instead about raising girls to use knives to kill people? A seductive premise for those with my particular flavor of religious trauma. Akari is fine, although I feel like Smith (Bravern) did Homura better.

I also like Momo, although I have a weakness for lesbian cuckolds (more on that later, possibly).

Shlock: High

Lesbian: Lesbian

Watchability: Moderate

Quality: Mid

Kakegurui

Content Warnings: Bad Taste, Needlessly Edgy, Boy Protagonist before the story thankfully gets bored of him, It’s Just Porn At This Point

Yumeko Jabami transfers into Gambling Academy, where everybody gambles and failing to pay your debts means being forced into petplay slavery. Luckily for her and unluckily for everyone else she is the world’s most perfect gambler because it turns her on.

Maybe the highest exposure show on this list? It’s got gambling, and sexual gambling, and a girl who can only orgasm if she’s actively taking place in a gamble where she could die. At one point she whacks off in a bathroom playing solo Russian Roulette. It’s got a Netflix original season 2 villain who was a girl forced to dress as a boy for years in ways that drove her sexually insane. It’s got The Tower of Doors, which is the most woman game that any woman has ever played.

My favorite bit character is probably the early villain who collects fingernails from everybody she beats because that’s her fetish, or the hopelessly-devoted Student Council Secretary who wants only to lay her face on the chair where her beloved Student Council President sits (lesbian cuckold count 3; 4 if you count Midori). She asks to gamble with her life and Yumeko says that that’s boring, and that there are things she values more – and that they’ll gamble with one life vs her relationship to the Student Council President instead.

Watch the opening for this one – it’s very clear about what it is, and if it doesn’t hook you it isn’t the show for you.

Shlock: Very High

Lesbian: Surprisingly

Watchability: Very high

Quality: Fine

Akuma No Riddle

Content Warnings: Violence, Sexual Assault, Death, Ryona, Bad Taste, Needlessly Edgy, Fanservice, Various Fetishes

Bishonen girl assassin Tokaku Azuma has received her first assignment: attend the Black Class at Killing People Murder High School and kill sweet and innocent-seeming Haru Ichinose, who she immediately falls in love with. Unfortunately the other eleven members of the Black Class are also there to kill Haru.

And they’re all lesbian or bisexual. And they’re all freaks.

They’re constantly pulling guns and knives on each other. Like every conversation a weapon will come out – possibly two. There’s a lesbian serial killer who really likes using scissors on girls. Sexually. The Student Council President is sexually devoted to the school principal. There’s a twenty-year-old spoiled rich girl with a boy’s name because she was named after her mom, who was a gay man. Her dad was also a gay man. If you dare say anything homophobic about this she will kill you. Two of these girls locked eyes right as they transferred in and immediately dropped everything to engage in a 24/7 ageplay dynamic. The other spoiled rich girl is secretly a cyborg and in love with the multiple personality girl, who wants to kill her as well.

This is by the author of infamous shotacon BL manga Loveless, so I guess all that is to be expected.

Also… Akiko Morishima got really into making doujinshi for this one? Sure.

Shlock: High

Lesbian: Yeah

Watchability: Pretty decent

Quality: Sure

Yuri Kuma Arashi

Content Warnings: Sexual Assault, Bad Taste, It’s Basically Just Porn At This Point, Bears

Lesbian Bear Storm.

For my money, the best Ikuhara post-Utena work is Sarazanmai, but Yurikuma Arashi absolutely earns its spot on this list. The pieces of a story about how lesbian desire is used to titillate a male audience but never fulfilled, how desire is regulated and rendered hideous, and how girls enforce heteropatriarchy by manufacturing consensus completely independent of men are in there somewhere under the moaning naked girls licking honey off precisely-positioned lilies. I think? It’s well-directed, at least.

Shlock: Ikuni

Lesbian: Ikunirappa

Watchability: Ikunichauda

Quality: Ikunigomamonaka

(the first half of) Birdie Wing: Girls Golf Story

Content Warnings: Violence, Bad Taste, Incest but not really, Golf, The Threat of Having To Resort To Survival Sex Work Underlying This Stupid Golf Show

Birdie Wing is the story of a girl who hates golf and a girl who loves golf. Season two fails to make par because it loves golf too much; season one, with the baffling metaverse vr episode, the underground mafia roguelike golf-to-the-death course, the woman who golfs so hard her robotic arm explodes, and the inexplicable Bandai property references, is the way to go.

I hate golf in the way only an eldest daughter forced into golf lessons hates golf. When Birdie Wing hates golf – when Eve swaggers onto the course in her stupid outfits, refusing to adhere to any etiquette, uses only three clubs and slaps a ball directly into the flag to drop it straight down? I love that. When she lifts her driver and points it and says she’ll kill somebody with it? I love that.

Also like when Aoi says she’ll get her attention with this and pulls her extra long driver out and holds it like a strap. And then her beleaguered caddie talks about how Aoi pierces everyone through with an innocent smile. That was good.

The thing that stuck with me the most wasn’t actually any of the golf shenanigans – it was the way that Eve effectively shoots Aoi down when they discover that they shared a father and were therefore half-sisters. Well, it’s yuri – incest is just something you get used to. Except then it gets revealed that that was a fakeout, because Aoi’s dad was actually her dad’s best friend and her parents were in a throuple that the dad who raised her left behind to secretly raise Eve. Also her dad is Amuro Reiya and also Char Aznable is in this one? And the HG Turn A Gundam? Don’t forget to increment the Lesbian Cuckold clock up to five – Aoi herself and her poor caddy, who didn’t deserve a mysterious blonde swooping in like that.

Oh god I didn’t even mention Vipere, the slutty snake-themed bisexual underground mafia golfer (you know, for the underground golf mafia) who uses pheromones to control her opponents, gets outgolfed, and then shonen-rival style sticks around to help out whenever somebody needs a car (as the girls are too young to drive).

Shlock: Absolutely

Lesbian: Somehow

Watchability: High

Quality: Better than it had any right to be

Maria Holic

Content Warnings: Transphobia, Bad Taste, Fanservice

Kanako Miyamae is a hopeless hapless lesbian excited to attend Lily Yuri Girls Only Academy. She falls in love with a beautiful blonde girl, the queen of the school – and discovers her ideal gf is actually a boy crossdressing to attend the academy who wants nothing more than to torment her sexually.

Maria Holic works like this: Mariya wants something from Kanako, and wears a sexual little outfit/exposes his feet/blows her a kiss/strips his maid’s top off to control her through her sexuality or just because he feels like it and she falls over of anime nosebleed disorder before she remembers “oh right Mariya is a boy” and starts eating her own organs Pearl Steven Universe style. Occasionally a girl who calls herself god will say something uninteresting. Kanako has a little pervert fantasy about one of her classmates. The cast has a reference-heavy Studio Shaft Conversation. Kanako can’t get Mariya out of her head. God I had to retype every ‘him’ up there from a ‘her’ because there is no way that little bitch is anything but a girl – it just doesn’t stick in my head. They don’t make boys like that. Torturing a girl like that is a female trait.

If you don’t want to watch a lesbian get relentlessly edged by a brat this show may not be for you. In all honesty even with Studio Shaft direction I found this almost completely unwatchable but it does earn its slot here. If you want a good Studio Shaft yuri show? Go watch Madoka Magica or Hidasketch.

It does have an excellent opening though.

Shlock: High

Lesbian: Well it has at least one

Watchability: No

Quality: No

Re: Cutie Honey

Content Warnings: It’s Basically Just Porn At This Point. but god. Natsuko Aki

“Honey Flash!” yeah she sure does huh

Transforming android Honey Kisaragi fights against evil organization Panther Claw, with the reluctant help of her annoyed cop eventual bestie Na-chan. This is good, actually. Go watch it.

Seriously. The animation is so fun and vibrant! They do the super-cost-saving stills being moved thing in a very high-energy way that comes across as a reference to the original manga format and then every so often they’ll pull out absolutely incredible action sequences.

Look at this!!! Her triangular stompy steps! The super low line count on her as she slowly advances with the gun flying toward her hand! Her Go Nagai snarl!!!!! It’s a real treat for the eyes even without the naked women. There’s only so much “saving your best friend by the power of being naked and kissing” you can do before it stops being bait and starts just being They Are In Love.

Shlock: Absolutely

Lesbian: NATSUKO AKI

Watchability: High

Quality: Yeah

Akiba Maid War

Content Warnings: Genre-Typical, No Spoilers Don’t Worry About it

Go watch this right now.

Shlock: Less than you’d think

Lesbian: Yes

Watchability: Extreme

Quality: Genuine

A Very Specific Set Of Monogatari Arcs

Content Warnings: yeah that guy is sexually harassing that 11 year old and also that tiny little vampire and also both of his little sisters.

Show beloved by pretentious internet perverts.

Alright. You are going to watch Episodes 1-8 of Bakemonogatari Season 1, (skipping 3-5 depending on your tolerance for watching small girls getting sexually harassed) and then you are going to watch the five episodes of standalone arc Hanamonogatari, halfway through Season 2. If you really like Hanekawa, who is bisexual, watch 11-15, Neko Black and Neko White. If you really like animation, watch Kizu. Do not be tricked into thinking more of this show will be gay because Hanekawa and Senjougahara had sex in a shower once. If your goggles are really on tight, enjoy Nadeko Draw but you’ll have to sit through the previous Nadeko and Yotsugi arcs to get there and I can’t in good conscience recommend you do that.

Shlock: Less than you'd think

Lesbian: One

Watchability: SHAFT

Quality: Yes