#for the third time now — i am urging you to message me privately so we can squash this

[willowser]

gaining all those new followers from plagiarizing poc and running them off tumblr you're a terrible person and i hope you rot

so this is another really heavy accusation that i take very seriously.

who is it that i've run off, exactly ?? if you are said person or know them personally, i would love to have the ability to speak to you/them one-on-one, like grown adults, so that we can clear the air or discuss whatever issue there seems to be.

i doubt that you'll respond legitimately but this has always been my stance on your issue with me, that has kept you coming back to, not only my main account but also my nsfw account, daily. sometimes multiple times a day. you've also never once given me any kind of definition on what it is exactly that i've "plagiarized" — which, again, leads me me to believe you're just choosing to be hateful for no reason ?? the ONLY reference that's been made in the last few weeks that this has been going on, is the love island bakugou concept, and if that's what you're still sticking by, then — again — i urge you to understand what plagiarism actually is.

[spotsupstuff]

GJDKSLJGLKSDLKMKL alright alright here goes:

-//- “DAMN IT!”

Another futile simulation ends in a failure and his hands fly up to clutch at his head as he attempts to not scream. Well, he ends up relenting to the urge, but it is justified and nobody else is around to hear him anyway.

Annoyed and beyond done, with mix of emotions he doesn't care to pick apart, Pebbles opens up his and NSH’s private message. The both of them have been on this for quite a while now, running simulations and coming up with progressively more and more complicated ideas. And while it felt good to have something to work on, especially with someone who he knows well and here and there manages to get a chuckle out of him, the reason for all the research has been gnawing at him relentlessly.

FP: Attempt 956 B has resulted in a laughably early failure. NSH: I told you it would.

His eye twitches the tiniest bit.

FP: Don't pull this on me. I am already dangerously close to snapping. NSH: You get points for self-awareness, but also- I hate to break it to you- but you are close to snapping every waking moment of your life. NSH: Back when you were turned on for the first time and added to the group chat, the first thing you did was snap at me. Innocence kept teasing me about it for weeks and Wind laughed every time it was brought up. FP: Not my fault you are the definition of aggravating. NSH: Well excuse you! I’d say I'm the splitting image of beautiful perfection. :)

Sigh. Yeah, sure he is. Completely and absolutely. Which is why his jokes usually land good only for Suns, Innocence and… Moon. Because she used to have a side to her that was a complete dork. She used to snort and laugh at NSH’s jokes, especially when Suns joined in on them and they proceeded to build off of each other, despite Pebbles’ own despair.

Suddenly, for no reason that he can identify, his throat starts feeling tight, his chest even more so.

FP: I don't… know how much longer I can handle this. NSH: Hmm? What do you mean? FP: I mean this! This all! It all seems useless. Whatever we come up with, ends up being wrong in some shape or form. NSH: You are giving up too soon, Pebbles.

Is he? It’s been… at least four months now. Four months of continuous trying and trying, prodding on the open wound that is her death. After all this time, he hasn't really gotten a rest. Suns has been still contacting him, talking and giving second, third, fourth chances. NSH, as the group’s medic, has even looked into his Rot situation and started running through theories and simulations of possible treatments to the side of them attempting to find a way to help Moon.

Conversation flew around him and through him, good part of them offering help here and there. But things manage to negate each other and, at the end, all he can think about is another theory that needs to be disproven.

FP: NSH, it all just keeps on coming and coming. I can’t catch my breath. I still haven't even found it since her collapse.

The following silence has him worried. How big is the chance that NSH becomes aggressive again? He can’t tell, with how worn out he's feeling, with how unorthodox this whole situation is.

After an age and maybe some longer- meaning like solid ten minutes- he gets a reply.

NSH: I guess that is understandable. I may have not… been paying as much attention to your mental state as I perhaps should have. You have been talking with Suns about all this, right? FP: Yes.

Suns' words never seem to fail to be comforting, to guide him somewhere, where the sun shines and the moon along with stars twinkle.  Despite their nature to give up on quite the few things surrounding them all and their existence, they have never given up on Pebbles. Which seems… unbelievable. But Pebbles doesn't want to think about the “unbelievable” things, not when he gets to have warm little talks with a lovely and caring sibling.

Lately, Suns has been pushing towards exploring more of his thoughts about the situations affecting him. Sometimes it'd be directly about Moon and her now over-growing ruin of a can, half-way sunk down in a sea. Sometimes, it would be about the Great Problem, even though Suns has been trying to avoid thinking about the thing and its nature in depth.

NSH: And well? How has it been going? FP: Not… too good.

Better to be honest about this, he supposes.

FP: Not like talking with them has not helped! It has! Everything just keeps being a bit too overwhelming. NSH: Overwhelming for supercomputers, huh?

There’s a sardonic joke in that he doesn't care enough to address.

NSH: Go off, take a break then.

And here's some aggression mixed with disappointment in there, it seems to him. And he wants to ask what it is, if NSH himself is feeling alright, but no idea comes to him how he could bring it up without it feeling stiff. So he leaves it be. The other seems to be eager to escape the conversation, too, because faster than he can finish the thought and blink, the other iterator sets their status to unavailable.

you wrote moon without any fissures??????

GJDSLJLSDK YEAH I DID i wake up n look into my emails n see people still kudoing that old thing n get a whiplash every fucken time

[princessamericachavez]

Thinking about all the amazing one on one conversations Fjorester has had so far and how we can see their relationship progress through them crystal clear:

(putting into a read more because as usual it got a little long heh)

First of all of course there is the Jellyfish Talk (36), right after the Iron Shepherds and the mess in Nicodranas, with their emotions raw and Fjord only starting to realize that Jester’s cheerfulness hides a hurt interior. And we get Jester beginning by vocally reassuring she will do anything in her power to help Fjord through this mission and protect him and then she opens up shyly about her own sadness and it is his turn to vocally cheer her up and make her smile and reassure her. It’s a first for both of them when it comes tu support and vulnerability and it would set the tone for the rest of their relationship.

And then we have the talk After Darktow (43), with both shaken by Avantika’s arc and the way she twisted their relationship. Jester is heartbroken and confused by his kiss and his relationship with Avantika, whereas Fjord is hurt by everything he just found out about Vandran and aimless regarding his patron and his future at sea. So she comes and checks in on him, despite the distance that’s grown between them these days, because his well-being is still what matters most to her and he willingly opens up about how Vandran’s past hurts him and she is vocally supportive again, offering to message anyone he needs to and revealing (to us as an audience) that she has already been holding on to Fjord’s secrets for a very long time. And he is so thankful for that, nearly surprised by that support.

Flash forward a few days to their conversation in The Second Temple (47), right after Fjord hears Jester privately praying for his well being to her god and for the third time you can see how much her unconditional support shakes him, but this time he is the one taking initiative, stepping in and saying “hey, I hear you and I am thankful for your support, it’s okay” and he insists that she leaves because her wellbeing is also extremely important to him (as he’s recently been reminded of with the blue dragon fight). So we end with that one amazing note: “Just don’t turn evil to me” that is Jester cementing yet another pilar in how their relationship is built: it’s you and me against the world. 

After those three amazing moments in the pirate arc, it takes a while for them to properly have a one on one conversation again up until The Moorbounder Talk (59) in which Fjord realizes that Jester has been again putting her wellbeing (physical, this time) last and pushes to give her the strongest healing potion he can find. She insists he keeps it, in case she can’t get to him. They are both devoted to the other being alright. It also gives us Jester calling out the fact that they’ve barely spoken in a good while —a wake-up call for Fjord— and he’s awkward about it, of course, but then we see him paying extra attention to her during the fight at the stone giant’s lair and flirting playfully and that’s the thing: he listened. 

The next time they get a chance to talk one-on-one is at the Xhorhaus (61), initiated by Jester’s question about the Golden Chain, flavored with Fjord again trying to reassure her that her mother will be alright and progressing into Jester checking in on him. She asks about how he feels having a house of his own and prods about Uk’otoa and how they ended up leaving the ocean... the thing is, and this is interesting, that this is soon after Fjord’s scare (like one episode later) and Fjord was just faced with the very real possibility that he might just lose his powers and everything that he believes makes him worthy of his friends’s love and support. So he’s defensive, he pushes back, he says “no I am not scared!” and this is so diametrically different to the other times they’ve talked and he’s allowed himself to be vulnerable and open with Jester, you can see her being taken aback by his response. 

It is until The Kiln Talk (72) that they have a proper conversation again. After he rescued her from the moth plan gone wrong, after he kissed her cheek mid-battle, after he jumped off a tree to rescue her, after they lost Yasha to Oban... so much has happened and they are still reeling from it all. This is also the point in time where Word Of God (aka Travis) had confirmed that Fjord losing his powers made him appreciate Jester’s constancy way more, and he’s been acting on that realization more and more. So, we get to this point where Fjord is the one initiating the talk (after the last mess he left their dynamic in) to ask Jester for that favor she offered way back when they were at sea, and she’s happy to help, even happier when in turn he opens up about how he feels and how lost he’s been and how exhausted he is of being toyed with by Uk’otoa and you can just see the relief in Jester that he isn’t pushing her away again, she even says “thank you for talking to me, Fjord” and he reassures her that her constancy has been a great support for him, he also even opens up about Melora and Jester, despite her disappointment that he didn’t chose the Traveler, is all in and declares it their new mission because it’s them against the world right? and they give each other support no matter what. She’s so great through that all that it’s no surprise she inspired Fjord to take a risk and break free. 

It takes a while for them to talk again (they still have so much to deal with) but they come back to it at The Funball (83) when Fjord, again, approaches Jester specifically to check in with her, to let her know he remembers that disastrous dragon fight and that he is glad she’s okay. This is Fjord’s clear attempt to be proactive in showing her how much he cares and how much he wants to be there for her too. While so many other moments were started with her checking in on him first or her opening up, this is Fjord taking a purposeful step forward and it shows. Jester is clearly taken aback by it, unsure on how to respond other than returning the sentiment. It’s a quiet moment, awkward in a different way than their usual banter, because this is uncharted territory for them. It’s short and simple, much smaller than other conversations they’ve had, but somehow it feels heavier with feeling.

[EDIT BECAUSE I CAN’T BELIEVE I MISSED ONE] But like after the Funball’s quiet and heavy openness we see Jester respond to that step forward from Fjord by going to him and opening up about something that’s been bothering her. The Gentleman Talk (84) lets Jester be vulnerable with Fjord and do something she rarely ever does: ask for help. She opens up and admits to something she wants but is scared to ask for and Fjord manages it wonderfully, reassuring her that all of her needs are valid and important and insisting that she tells the others. And then, thank you for my soul, he tops it up by saying “I certainly do” and not hiding behind group-speech for once because this is no longer about the M9 but about what he wants to give Jester: unconditional support. And then, AND THEN, when she’s ready to close it with their signature “okay” “okay”, he really goes beyond that and insists that they can’t just brush this off later because this is important to Jester and therefore it should be treated as a priority too (this is before they’ve even solved the Oban thing yet and that’s clearly weighing on them but dammit if you thought Fjord is gonna let Jester’s personal needs be pushed aside, you’re wrong). 

Which takes us all the way up to The Nicodranas Date (98) in which things flow surprisingly better. We have Fjord chasing after Jester and helping her escort her mother back to the chateau and then, when they are finally alone, the conversation just flows. After the past three or so heavy conversations they’ve shared, this is easy and playful and happy and they are both practically glowing as they laugh about the night’s events and agree to have a not-date together at the chateau. It’s like the air has cleared between them now that Yasha is back, now that they aren’t chasing Oban across the continent, now that Fjord is a paladin and more assured on himself and his friend’s support. 

Of course, they still have shit to deal with, right? And there’s the Uk’otoa attack and Fjord dying and Jester holding him through the rez ritual... but it isn’t until Rumblecusp that they are able to pick back up whatever that night was. But boy do they pick it up. Fjord is constant during Rumblecusp. We start by the Talk In the Jungle (102), which starts casually as them just ‘planing’ how to cure Viridian’s memory loss but then it changes because Jester’s opens up and that is huge because she very rarely pushes to talk about things that bother her, but here she confides on Fjord and he is very gentle about suggesting the Traveler might have ulterior motives, and urges her to be careful and keeps her eyes open, just in case. “I just don’t want you to get hurt” he says and bless this boy for finally learning how to be forthcoming and vocal about how much she means to him. 

Still in Rumblecusp there’s a couple moments, even in group conversations, where he’s insistent about her being careful and where he insists that the real difference is how much Jester cares about others but we return to that one-on-one with them until the Pre-Con Talk (106) where they discuss divinity and morality, but it all boils down to Fjord admitting he “don’t care about 200 other people, I do care about you” AND HOW HUGE IS THAT??? HOW FAR HAVE THEY COME? And yet, that one phrase is basically just a mirror to their Second Temple conversation, they are saying the exact same thing before the other deals with a potentially gray conversation: my priority isn’t the world, it’s you. It’s them against the world. And he tops it up by calling back to yet another pilar of their relationship: how they open up with each other about things they can’t with others... by insisting she comes to him if she’s upset again, because he will be here for her and he will listen. Just like she’s done for him a million times. THIS HAS BEEN BUILDING UP SINCE THE JELLYFISH. 

Which takes us to their latest conversation. The Tower Talk (117) feels like a culmination of so many things left unsaid between them for so long but also as a perfect highlighting of everything that makes their relationship so wonderful. We got the protectiveness (stablished with ‘i’ll heal you if you start to hurt’ and progressed with ‘i just don’t want you to get hurt’) perfectly illustrated by Fjord taking off the amulet that is protecting him from Uk’otoa and giving it to her because he’s worried about Lucien focusing on her. We have the ‘you and me against the world’ attitude (stablished with ‘just don’t turn evil to me’ and reestablished with ‘i don’t care about 200 people, i do care about you’) with Jester immediately jumping onto dealing with Fjord’s past “do we need to deal with the past?”. We have the vulnerability with Jester finally daring to ask if he’s okay after Avantika and him talking about the past he kept hidden for so long. We have Jester helping with that past, like she offered since Darktow (and how amazing is it that the message precisely refers them back there??) and we have Fjord talking about letting go of the past and wanting a future (like they talked about in the funball and in the kiln, about wanting to leave everything behind and disappear into a happier life). 

These past two conversations have been amazing in that they’ve put everything that was unsaid so far out in the open. Throughout the campaign’s several heart to hearts they’ve shared, we’ve seen them reverse roles and offer the other exactly what they’ve received from this relationship, an equal give and take based on vulnerability and unconditional support. They’ve switched places and also slowly been more vocal about the feelings that used to just be implied in their conversations. Not without their bumps, but they are at a point where they are the most open they’ve ever been, the most honest and direct about what they want from each other and what they mean to each other... which makes me think that it’s a matter of time (one or two talks) until they finally come clean about their feelings for each other too. 

Also, interesting point of order, but (aside from the times where situation or tensions have kept them from reaching out for each other) they do kinda average a good heart-to-heart every 10 eps or so. So we might still have to wait a bit for the next one, but heyyy, it’s probably going to be amazing. 

[femmeconduit]

Forecast for 2021

Note: This is a tarot and energy reading to forecast 2021 and should be considered a general reading, where it may not resonate for every individual. I’m a clairvoyant who woke up this morning with a weight like, “BING! Time to read!” and it knocked me on my ass so here I am, hoping the message will get to the person(s) it’s intended for. I don’t usually share collective messages on here because I’ve spent most of 2020 on my solo shadow work, but this message felt important so here goes.

Placing a cut for length (it’s nearly 2k overall):

Overall Vibe for 2021: Seven of Pentacles, Four of Wands

This brings me some relief as a reader because every New Year there’s usually a swell of jumping in with both feet and it can be a bit reckless. We don’t have that here. What we have for 2021 is cautious optimism, a sense of pause, to wait and see whether all the effort and emotional purging, all the hard work we put into 2020 is going to pay off this year.

The outcome of whether all the 2020 work is truly going to pay off is not clear to me right now. The energies are anxious on January 1st (at the time of this forecast), but one thread I’m picking up on is a sense of hope that all of the work we’ve done on ourselves in 2020 wasn’t for nothing--especially when it comes to connecting with others we love. Family, friends, and romantic partners who weathered through the worst of 2020 and bared their true selves together do show a strengthening of bonds in 2021. That will make the cautious optimism of waiting for the payoff easier to weather.

Overall, there isn't a blind expectation that everything is going to fall into place and that’s refreshing. I think it’s fair to say many of us had that in January of 2020, but much has changed and in 2021 many have moved away from that outlook. The hope for prosperity hasn’t fully diminished, but it’s more reserved and held closer to the chest than before. The strongest vibe is definitely, “We’ll wait and see” without fully committing to a view. It feels similarly to how sports fans feel at the beginning of a season when no games have been played.

Love in 2021: Four of Swords

Whoa! This is definitely not the hot & spicy vibes I’ve seen in other forecasts and I’m here quirking my eyebrow like, “ho hoo hooooo REALLY NOW?!?!” I resisted the urge to pull clarifiers since this is a collective reading. In a private reading, I would have jumped in this one. Anyways...

This is a sign that romantic standards have gone way up. Standards of lasting connection, what people are willing to put up with when forming partnerships, have raised the bar. And it feels like an ironclad “you’re in or you’re out” energy like someone would sooner slam the door than forgive and give second and third chances. I hear, “SHAPE UP!” 

When the pandemic is over and there are more opportunities to date in-person, many will be going in with their guard up and their list of must-haves. Don’t get me wrong; connections can be made in the heat of finally having human contact again, but the choice of whether to be exclusive and commit will have a higher threshold to meet. New partnerships will form only after both parties are sure the other can weather the kind of storms we saw in 2020 and I don’t feel those standards slipping just because someone may feel lonely. 

On a related note, I sense a lot of pre-occupation over physical safety being one of the forces behind the heightened standards. What if that hot stranger never wore the mask over their nose in 2020? It sounds a little silly but some of those thoughts will be floating around up there on the first date. The pandemic caused a lot of isolation where one may be stuck with a partner in limited space for a really long time. For 2021, people will want to make sure that the person that they're attaching to is someone who is going to truly be there in all of the ways that are needed and safe (hence the high standards).

I do feel a strong emotional yearning for love and connection (especially for singles), but it doesn’t feel stronger than the need to protect oneself. Even when the bars are open, some will be less willing to take the risks they may have taken in 2018/2019. I’m not picking up this risk in a physical sense like STIs, but more in the head & heart. Emotional risks will be considered more heavily when dating, especially for those who may have experienced a brutal wake-up call in their previous relationships in 2020. The partnered people who are still in unwanted relationships in 2021 will use that heightened standard energy to break things off, especially if the dating pool looks safer later in the year and they see the high standards paying off for their single friends.

Economy/Career in 2021: Page of Swords

This energy feels FRESH and forward-moving and I’m loving it. I see a lot of new business start-ups, especially home-based businesses that operate exclusively online. It feels like a rebirth of the cottage industry (any fellow historians who’ve studied labor history may be getting really excited about how this may impact other areas).

I see a yearning to branch out and make one’s mark, but it's not coming from a place of emotional fulfillment or sense of higher purpose. It’s coming from a place of, “This is what I need to protect my family and this is what I need to get what I want.” Feels heavy and I see earth and fire sign placements. Side hustles will grow to meet this energy, especially for those who may have endured a lot of economic challenges in 2020. The fear of potential loss in 2021 is going to fuel some of this, as many workers no longer feel protected and supported by their employers. Showing true colors in 2020 will have 2021 consequences. A lot of self-centering, self-protection energy means branching out to new jobs, new business, and new ways of earning (such as passive income).

Related to these changes, there will be new attempts to meet the growing demands of working from home. Will they all be successful? With the Page energy, I don’t think so. Some of this will be like throwing spaghetti and seeing what sticks and I feel embarrassed with this energy. Maybe someone comes out with an app that looks really tacky and fumbles hard. However, with the forward moving energy coming largely from the bottom in a decentralized way, I think there will be some successes. The ones who have been overburdened by that unfulfilling corporate job may just snap and run with that big idea they’ve been ruminating on all year in 2020. And with the Page, they’ll learn as they go along because they don't want to wait anymore.

What to Watch Out For in 2021: 10 of Wands

Be careful not to take on too much at once. All the forward movement energy, especially early in the year, will increase the risk of overburdening people who don’t keep their wants and needs in balance. There hasn’t been enough rest, reflection, or recovery on the collective level so the chances of frying oneself are high. I see a blonde woman with dry hair having an outburst in a public place (looks like a Target) and pulling her hair out with crazy eyes. She’s snapped, not because she’s deranged, but because she hit her breaking point and didn’t maintain the tools to decompress that shit. Yikes.

With 2020’s emotional and psychological challenges, many will want to fire off with all engines in 2021, but I wouldn’t recommend that with this Ten of Wands. It feels like “I did too much, I thought I could handle it,” exhaustion when one bites off more than they could chew. It’s important to stress that there’s no way one can undo all of 2020’s damage in a couple months in 2021 based on what I’m feeling with this card. Ten of Wands can be emotionally unstable to the point of causing problems with one’s physical health. Energy-sensitive people especially vulnerable here if they miscalculate how much they can handle early in the year. Maintaining balance within the self (eating healthy, self-care, etc.) is everything while one works on moving forward. You don’t have to stay still and do nothing, but you can take and should remember to eat, you know?

What We Have to Look Forward to in 2021: Queen of Pentacles (Reversed)

No surprises here: a reframing of our collective beliefs about money. The value of money, how we use money, how we approach money is going to change in 2021. It’s coming through as a positive because it’s a lesson learned. I’m seeing a lot of headlines about funding and law enforcement flashing. Queen of Pentacles in Reverse can come through as a negative card, but in this forecast it’s an overall lack of trust that drives the forces of positive change. Collectively, there is an understanding that the support structures we need--especially economically--don't exist, at least not in the way we need them to. And it's going to force us to reframe and make adjustments to our economic structure, even if it’s something small like opening up a high-interest savings account.

On a small scale, this energy will change how we save money and build it. Given the economic forecast, I see this impacting small businesses and small investors looking to increase their revenue streams. The sense of distrust where money is concerned will compel us to innovate and make smarter decisions than we made in 2020. Saving money keeps getting repeated. 

On a large scale, this energy may impact beliefs and access related to cryptocurrency and affect how tax dollars are allocated, with more oversight being demanded. Given the civil unrest, the government’s response, and how COVID relief was handled, I’m not surprised to feel collective anger where the “people’s money” is involved. It’s still there in 2021 and is aimed at the piggy bank.

What We are to Remember from 2020: King of Wands (Reversed)

Beautiful energy for a reversal. This card calls us to remember what we were able to accomplish when we worked together in 2020. The year was full of challenges and obstacles, and while we haven't overcome all of them, there were significant developments and innovation in the areas of medicine, telework, distance education, food service, etc.--all to meet the demands the pandemic created. Many of these changes occurred as a result of collaborative efforts to find solutions and significantly, much of that collaboration occurred remotely. It will continue to be a sorely needed requirement, as I see many more opportunities to work together to find solutions to problems in 2021. 

The good news in this appears to be that the 2020 trial-and-error in the realm of collaboration will pay off in 2021. I’m seeing a tense but efficient board room meeting where people are quick to throw out stupid ideas and my chest is getting lighter seeing it. If an option didn’t work well in 2020, it looks like we won’t even consider it as an option in 2021. Sounds like a timesaver to me!

That’s all I have for now. Hope you all stay safe and cautiously optimistic in the new year.

[dollsted]

Chains

Chapter one: The Sting

Source: A03 --- F0rce0fnatur3

NSFW Warning: 18+

Pairing: SasuSaku | SakuIta

Plot: Sakura was just going about her daily life when her world shatters after being taken by two men who were sent to do their jobs and help fill the bank account of the third party they work for. When the job gets botched due to Sakura's intrusion her fate suddenly becomes tied in the hands of the brothers. What do they do with an extra witness? And should they tell their employer about this slip up?

I drag my fingers through my silky pale rose colored hair, green eyes fixed on the cross walk sign waiting for the light to change and the slush of people I’m mobbed into moves. I can feel the slack in my tie holding my bun up threatening to come lose, so I crane my neck so that it is straight and proper without too much motion. A few shorter layers that frame my cheeks have come free already and a bad habit of mine is to twine my hair around my finger while strangers press uncomfortably behind me crowding the corner. I’m urged forward as we move like a swarm of fish across the road to the other side. I can feel someone who’s too inappropriately pressed behind me breathing hot breath on the naked nape of my neck. I can feel him jut against me when I try to gain distance like a pair of flats that is a size too big and the extra space slaps at my heels each step. Finally I surge forward yearning for freedom and to break free from the blobby monster and break through the congestion making my way toward Macy’s.

               Everyone steals these moments by emerging from their homes after being cooped up for the hopelessly long winter. Colors finally begin to paint against the sky above the skylines and warm rays of light dips its fingers through the spines of the buildings. Spring is in the air. We all mimic the flowers that are still hidden beneath the flat and muddy colors of the city, we angle our faces to the sun which has been hidden behind a veil of gray like a face behind a paper fan. We want to soak up as much vitamin C as we can and I feel the light burn against my exposed skin. Yesterday when I passed this way the store was still in muted colors reflecting the sludge outside but today it is bursting with pink. I stare in awe at the window display. Flamingo’s the size of the entire span of the window towers on each side of the entrance to the door all adorned and anatomy made up of pink roses! If these are fake, whoever fabricated the material made it look as realistic as possible. Hanging above their crowns are real flowers that dangle in tight tangles and it renews the stores vigor. I imagine the workers tirelessly staying through all hours of the night to prepare the store for spring.

              I brush the left strand behind my ear and begin my shameless hunting. It’s been awhile since I binged for myself and after yesterday’s messy blood and stitches night at the hospital I felt I needed to wipe the memory clean with something material. I thumb through the sales rack, I look at the new lines on the outer edges of the store, I even gravitate towards the jewelry. Black pearl earrings. Ino told me once that my complexion was fair, so soft pastels of pinks and whites would best accent me. But I found emeralds didn’t contrast against the hue of my eye color, and soft yellows also seemed to flatter me. What did she know? She was always wearing crop tops that cut off just under the lines that silhouetted her breasts and shorts that clung too tightly to her ass. I assess a bright red sweater that would free my shoulders from its grip and add it to my basket. I swipe my right stray strand behind my ear and inspect a rose gold ring that appeals to my depth of symmetry. The gold is like filigree that curves gracefully in sharp patterns and arches that eventually build up to its center which dawns a black pearl that gleams a soft shade of gray when it hits the light and bleeds to deep black like the depths of a sea. A smatter of diamonds adorn random patterns like stars. Five on the left side of the pearl, three on the right. This will match my earrings.

               With a single bag slung around my arm I wander to my usual spot which has become my favorite place to frequent for coffee. I sit at the high table crossing my legs over one another arresting the fabric of my skirt to keep it from coming loose. I pull out the book from my purse and jot down little notes. What no one tells you in medical school is that although yes you are saving lives there are more bad days that outweigh the good one does. It’s getting harder and harder to find the slips of those good moments and the more gore filled ones blot out that and remain in your head like scars. I’ve woken up numerous times in a sheen of sweat and nightmares of the faces I couldn’t save laid there on the table like a cold dead slab of meat as if they’re waiting for me to stitch up the pieces of their broken body. One of my coworkers suggested I start writing down the good. It’s a sparse entry but a little girl came in with a flesh eating virus after she went into lake water with a small open wound no more the size of my pinky’s tip. The bacteria entered that small entry point and within hours she got severely sick and in no more than eight hours later her leg began to blacken. We were able to extract the bacteria and eradicate any other threats. Had she been another hour later, she would have lost her entire leg up to her calf.

              The hospital is always filled with patients. Like the cars that pack together outside like flakes of snow, so too are the halls of the hospital. I work endlessly. I’m afraid to admit that I now lean heavily on the assistance of caffeine. Like the officers that are allowed leave after a bad case to get their sanity back together, so too have I put in for two weeks’ vacation. Tsunade insisted I take more but if I don’t do something I only drown in my own thoughts and vanish into naps. She suggested I actually go on a vacation and get out of the city but it felt so odd to picture myself somewhere tropical and warm. Like residents in hotter climates who never get snow for Christmas.

              Hinata shoots me a text. I extract the phone from my jacket pocket looking at the small rectangular screen and thumb away all the notifications clogging my feed until finally I get to the message board. She wants me to meet her at her apartment. She’s not too far from where I am, it isn’t a big enough strain to have to hail a cab. With four blocks I’m there buzzing at the front gate. I ride the elevator eleven floors up and walk halfway down the hall before knocking on her door. Quietly and quickly she opens it, her face is flushed, and she has tears rimming in her eyes like diamonds against her black lashes. Her pearl white eyes plead to mine and her brows are knit together. I’m startled. She’s truly upset. Usually she smiles and pretends there’s nothing wrong but after Ino and I finally staged an intervention to get her out of her abusive relationship she had been struggling. She motions me in. Her family has money but after Hinata left our small town and migrated here with Ino and I she had opted for a small apartment in a more down trodden part of the city.

               “Sakura, I’m so glad you’re here. Something terrible has happened.” I look at her, my own brow arched in confusion and she’s moved like a ghost effortlessly into the other room. I go to follow but she’s already floated back and produces a note tightly gripped in the confines of her shaking hand. I gently pull the letter from the feed of her palm and look over the document. The note is hand typed and not signed. The content of the letter sends a shiver through my body.

               “Someone sent you a threatening letter?”

              “D-do you th-think it could be h-him?” Her whole body convulses now and her hands find one another gripping until her knuckles are as pale as the color of her pearl eyes.

               “No. Your ex is a jackass but he’s a coward at heart and wouldn’t send something like this.” I take a seat suddenly feeling a dreadful weight in my body threatening to pull me down. “It seems to me the person whose contacting you wants a piece of your fortune.”

               “Should I tell father? Oh…he’ll be cross. He’ll want to send the police force and private investigators.” Her voice is a feather against the drumming in my ears. She hasn’t been able to look at me since she retrieved the letter. Gingerly I put my hand against her quaking shoulder offering warmth and softening my voice.

               “Hinata, I think you should let your father know about this. It could become serious…”

               “No one even knows I’m out here…who…who could…?”

              “It’s easy for a woman to be stalked. I hate to admit this to you too and scare you even more but if one wanted to type in your full name the internet isn’t shy about revealing articles about your fathers charity work and that you and your sister are heiresses.”

               I watched her shrink into herself. I looked back to the letter.

               “I don’t want my family to get hurt.”

               “All the more reason to warn them that you and them may be targeted.”

              I spent the rest of my visit cooing soft words of encouragement and making her several pots of herbal tea to calm her jittery nerves. When I suggested she speak to detective Naruto about all this she was all too eager to change the subject or dismiss it. I loved Hinata as the dear friend she was to me but, sometimes it was like speaking to a child who was afraid of her own shadow. Children could be difficult and stubborn and no matter what I pitched to her she shot down. Finally I had to threaten to tell my own sources about the letter and that seemed to sap any of her protests. She didn’t want me to get involved and made a promise that first thing in the morning before work she would go to the authorities with her proof and ask for help. It was enough to sate me. The letter gave her a two weeks’ notice to produce the money or transfer it to a secure private fund so I felt a little at ease that perhaps they wouldn’t come to collect her in exchange for that promise.

              I lay awake all night feeling guilty about Hinata. It became too hard to leave her alone and when I shot her a text to come back to my place for the time being she politely declined still feigning that she didn’t want me to get hurt in any of this exchange so I fled my apartment taking a cab as if precious moments were slipping from my fingers. Her building was alight and it helped douse a little of my fears but when I reached her front door it was then I noticed there was a splinter in the wood at the hinge. My heart was in my throat as my fingers lightly touched upon the wood of the door and it yawned open. Her apartment was dark and I could hear muffled talking. Maybe Hinata was retiring for the night and speaking to her father but then why would her door be affected by such a thing?

               I dared two steps into her room when the creak in the floor threatened to tattle on me if I moved further. I craned my neck trying to peer around the corner to the kitchen. The only light was the clock on her microwave and stove. I inched against the frame of the wall getting closer to the rush of voices. Now I heard the distinction of a male. I strained for a minute to hear Hinata’s reply but nothing came. A shadow moved across the wall in the living room. I went to strain my eyes to look into the stretch of darkness but felt a large hand press my locked lips against my teeth restraining my cries and screams of help. There was a wall of muscle at my back. My arms were pinned at my sides as the other arm snaked around me. My only free limbs were my legs which were easily lead in a dragging motion as the assailant directed us by holding my weight up and guiding us into the bedroom. My eyes widened. Hinata was slung over the shoulder of another male that seemed only a figment in the room. I could hear the venom in the elder male’s words as he hissed to the one man handling me.

                “Who the fuck is that?”

              “Don’t know. She was lurking at the door. What should we do?” I felt the pinprick of fear radiate up my spine and I began fighting. With little avail he easily coiled his arm flexing his muscles tighter against me. It was hard to take in air. I could see black blotting the corners of my vision.

               “She’s seen too much. Get rid of her.”

              “This might be the one she was texting.” I felt his hand move from my mouth and I took a sharp breath of air into my lungs but felt the scream vanish inside my throat when the clicking sound and cold round press of steel touched under my jaw. It came out as a startled gasp.

              “Don’t you even fucking dare.” My entire body began shaking. His voice was as deep and vicious as the steel under my chin. His arm uncoiled, he transferred the gun to his other hand and the free one plunged into my pockets. I let out a small yelp of surprise trying to shrink myself to get away from his invasive hands but moments later he plucked my phone from my back pocket. I glared blindly at him in the dark and shut my eyes when the shock of the bright screen flashed over my retinas. I blinked back burning tears watching him thumb through the phone then stopped.

               “That the one?” The other male ground out through tightly gritted teeth.

              “Yep.” Said my assailant with a careless sigh. He slipped the phone somewhere behind me in one of his pockets and then he resumed the hold he had before. The guns position changed to my temple.

              “Your call.” The casual exchange made me think these two criminals knew one another on a personal level. Maybe even related? I couldn’t think about that right now. Right now I needed to pine for my survival. I spent my years trying to save lives and to think of becoming just a stain within my legacy and a good front page article that would be looked over by tomorrow’s new stories made my stomach churn.

              “I know you two were the ones that sent the letter. I---I’ve already contacted the police about it.” There was a long stretch of silence that curdled the bile in my stomach even more painfully sour. The elder spoke.

               “We’re wasting time here. Bag her too. We’ll figure it out once we’re in the clear.” The one behind me didn’t respond. He only moved awkwardly behind me slipping one sleeve of a jacket to him and forcing the other sleeve to my arm. His free hand was hidden between the shared garment and the barrel was now tightly pressed at my back. I swallowed a wet gulp feeling the block roughly glide down my throat.

               “Here’s the deal. You scream. You say anything. I shoot you first. Then I shoot all the people you call out too. I don’t care if it’s a kid either. Got me?” I gave a curt nod. “Say it!”

               “Yes I understand!” I held the front of my sweater with my free hand trying to steady my nerves.

              Given the time of night there was no body that inhabited the entry ways or hallways. The elder had moved Hinata so it looked as though with her arm slung around the back of his neck and him holding her by her waist he looked like a gallant gentleman escorting his drunk girlfriend into a cab. But in the cabs stead was a black Lincoln. She was put in the trunk however…and I was forced to duck into the cabin of the back row of seats that faced one another. The elder took to the wheel. The black divider hid him completely and I was face to face with my captor who freed himself from the jacket. I was too terrified to shrug the rest of it off me. We were moving and I looked to the tinted windows walled around me. I felt small. I felt hopeless. My life was out of my hands. I knew in this moment how my patients felt…

              The younger captor was tall, not as tall as the other one but still larger than my short stature. He had long elegant legs that were cloaked in black jeans with faint tan stitching at the seams. He had heavy steel toed boots that somehow he controlled to keep his footfalls as silent as a cats. I saw the gray outlines in his shirt that made up the peaks and mountains of his midsection to his chest. His biceps were bulging from the clad shirts tight hold. The same arms that almost crushed me in two like a toothpick. He slung his forearm on the back of his seat showing the deadly muscle beneath his flesh. I looked away before his eyes could catch hold of mine. Charcoal black and bottomless like a shark’s. He had a long aristocratic nose and his lips were thin but were perfectly shaped so if he smirked they tips of them would be like little arrows that would point to his long cheekbones. His hair was a mop of thick locks and like babies he was cursed with terrible cowlicks that swirled and curved upwards but yet---it made him look distinguished and just fit to his angelic appearance. I crushed my thoughts digging bloody moons into my palms.

               Why had he put Hinata in the trunk? It wasn’t like he couldn’t overpower us if she awoke. Perhaps he didn’t want us speaking to each other. I felt my body temperature rise, the arm that was buried in the jacket suddenly burning setting wildfire throughout my other limbs. I shirked it off pulling my feet to the wide expanse of the seat tucking my knees to my chest. He was busying himself with my phone going through it and erasing the contents. I just wanted to sleep. My eyes burned with need but my body was wide awake. All my nerves were firing away with adrenaline. But as the hours went by and my mindless gaze watched the landscape scrape by in blurs I was fading. I hadn’t noticed when I stopped holding my head up and came to attention when my forehead was pressed against the cold glass. I jerked awake but couldn’t fight sleep any longer. Maybe I should just take a minuscule one---it might be my last chance for sleep. My thoughts grew heavier and became scrambled and finally I gave in to the darkness.

[phanlight]

Imagine Living Like a King Someday

prompt: Southview Boarding School isn’t a castle and Phil Lester isn’t royalty, but he has everything. His father owns the school, he’s popular, has the best room, gets all the best treatment – there are very few things that aren’t handed to him on a platter. Dan is a cleaner/Phil’s personal maid there, and he isn’t as lucky. Everyone seems to take an aversion to the outsider, including Phil (at first).

[CHAPTER MASTERPOST]

me thinkin i’d cleared this fic up w the last chapter til i re-read a bunch of it and HOOOOO BOI why was i so obsessed with plot twists without the fkin plot

I am determined to make this all add up and work together but it may take a few chapters also I still have no idea how this is going to end LOL

[ao3 link]

Southview owns a lot of land.

It spreads out in blanketed acres of green, field upon forest upon meadow; miles of emerald patchwork. The building itself, founded somewhere in the fourteenth century apparently, makes up only a fraction of the private greenery Phil has been calling home for the past decade.

Habitatually speaking, it’s impressive. To be able to call such rich halls, such polished corridors and winding mahogany stairs, ever spiraling further and further below his house, his own dwelling; is something he struggles to grasp. He supposes every other student currently residing here may find some relation to a certain degree – but to look at a winding cobbled path and every single brick completing every wall, to name the clock tower chiming every high-clouded noon into existence anything remotely of an heirloom – isn’t anything his soul will allow him to process. He doesn’t see it changing anytime soon.

He stares at the wall-to-wall bookshelves lining every corridor brimming with ancient knowledge, medieval tales and just about every participle of the literary canon. There are strict rules against removing any books from their respective shelves with dire consequences if unobliged (absolutely ridiculous, Phil thinks – who in their right mind would consider reading a punishable offence? They’re there to be read.) He and Dan had taken it upon themselves to create a discreet enough rule-breaking method; choosing the dead of night to tiptoe through long, hallowed corridors devoid of light and sound and people and life, all whispers and giggles and cold interlocked fingers, sleepy eyes scanning fraying ladders of spines, whispered-yet-echoey assessments over which would be least missed for however many hours.

The candles up above, though only illuminated during the seasonal months, drip hardened wax onto the stone walls covering every inch of interior; something he otherwise never would have seen anywhere else in this time, let alone place. The beams hang dark and gnarled, curving across every roof with chapel-like grace.

He’s lucky, and he knows it.

Why, then, does he feel like a bird in a cage? Why can he sense the wings, feathered promises of freedom, hit against iron bars whenever he outstretches? This place is becoming too small, he decides. Seven years walking the same grounds, with the same windows and the same views no matter how creative he gets with his detours. The same faces, same conversations with all the same values; with only sporadic weeks of the outside world in between.

He wonders what he would have done had Dan not entered the scene. Wherever the place in his mind, he knows madness would reside. He only feels a breath away from it now.

He blames it on his surroundings, pushing down the rise of unease that jumps through his stomach. It’s got to be that.

::

It doesn’t subside.

“Are you okay?” he hears a voice soften beside him. 

He can’t lie. Not to Dan.

He shuts his eyes and realizes he’s been staring at that Oscar Wilde painting for way too long. The afterimage burns his retina in every shade of negative. His hair deep black on canvas now chalk white behind the eyelids. His eyes look like caves.

“I don’t know,” is the closest to the truth he can get. “I feel weird.”

Dan’s entire stance changes. Concern floods his eyes and he’s suddenly upright

“Why? What’s up?”

“I don’t-…” he shakes his head in defeat.  “I really don’t know. That’s why I’m so-…” his racing mind interrupts him. So what? So comfortable, yet so ill at ease? It makes no sense. 

This should be bliss. Curled up on a beanbag with his favourite person somewhere on the third floor of the library behind a wooden disguise of bookshelves and tall tables. Their ‘spot’ lies in a convenient nook no other soul seems to have yet discovered – a definite perk of being the son of the owner is having premium, extensive knowledge of every single crack and avenue this place has to offer; surveillance included.

That’s how the undercroft became a meeting point in the first place, Phil suddenly remembers as his stomach falls through three stone library floors.

It was him.

He had come up with the idea. He had planned the safest night-time route, locating every surveillance camera and possible risky window. And he, funnily enough, was the one who had spent an hour talking the three of them into it to begin with – if he strains his mind far back enough he can recall even Liam having doubts. Many of them, actually.

“Come on,” a harsher, younger and definitely more obnoxious version of himself had urged.

“No way,” Liam was the first to say. Freddie and Violet hadn’t been overly keen, but it was Liam who was adamant.

He feels sicker.

“What’s bothering you?” Dan closes the book they were giggling at no longer than forty seconds ago and turns his attention completely to him.

His heart is thudding now. He hasn’t given any of that any thought whatsoever since it happened; all anxiety surrounding the situation having been newly dissipated by evenings of laughter and love and-

Had it been dissipated? Or merely masked? Ignorance by will or by proxy?

“Phil?”

Had he spent all these passing months pointing fingers, dodging the blame, deflecting everything like a house of mirrors when this whole thing, this entire time, had actually been his fault?

He snaps out of himself and realizes it’s Emily Dickinson now burning behind the eyelids.

It’s too much. Even the oil portraits, beautiful as they are (and original too, allegedly), are all the same faces. It’s all the fucking same.

“We need to get out of here.”

Dan frowns. “Huh?”

“We need to get out of here,” he repeats, and stands up immediately. The book that was on his lap catapults to the floor, landing outstretched in a papery mess.

“Wait-“ Dan scrabbles around behind him, rescuing the book and smoothing out the newly crumpled pages. His own expression creases a little with the paper.

Phil doesn’t. He can’t. His vision is a tunnel and it’s only blind panic propelling him forward, past shelves and students and voices he can only barely decipher. Every cell in his body, every single drop of blood and beat of his heart is drilling the same message into his mind.

Get out.

It’s only until he feels the slap of winter air against his damp forehead he realizes he’s outside. He stops sweating and starts shivering, clutching the corner of the stone wall as if gravity be seconds away from disappearing and flinging him into the night sky.

His chest feels like lead. Each breath comes heavy, deep; never quite enough despite each gasp filling up his lungs like he’s drowning on air alone. His stomach feels like someone has clawed it out with blunt, bare fingers.

The huge door flaps open and a tiny figure runs out.

He can barely see. His vision still exists in blobs and grains, like someone turned up the contrast too much but also turned it right down completely. What’s happening to him?

“I’m sorr-“ he gasps, but Dan hushes him.

“Focus on your breath,” his voice is calm but firm. He’s unaware of the soft grip on either shoulder until he sees two arms outstretched in front of him.

Phil tries to, but each gasp gets stuck in his throat.

“In through the nose, out through the mouth,” Dan guides him, demonstrating. Each breath seems so smooth, so calculated. Phil doesn’t want to think how often he’s had to do this.

His heart is still hammering, but he manages to comply.

“Imagine you’re blowing on a candle,” Dan continues. “But don’t blow it out.” 

It’s a challenge to focus when his mind is running one million mines a minute, but Phil shuts his eyes and eventually the swirling grain begins to subside. He’s still breathing way too hard and it’s probably enough to blow out a ninety-seventh birthday cake, but Dan’s encouragement doesn’t waver.

“You’re getting there,” he says, giving his shoulders a gentle squeeze before dropping his grip completely. “Are you okay with that, by the way?” he gestures toward his hands. “Fuck, sorry- I should have asked- but when I’m having a panic attack it usually helps to keep me like-… centred.”

“No, it’s-…” Phil releases a shaky breath. “It helps. Thank you,” his eyes flutter shut when he feels two warm hands on his shoulder. He’s already feeling a fraction calmer.

“No need to thank me,” Dan says, his voice like velvet.

His eyes fly open. “Panic attack?”

Dan’s own are soft. “I think that’s what you’re having.”

His heart is still thudding, but at a marginally dropped pace. He’s never experienced anything like that before. Shit, is that what it’s like?

His vision has almost completely cleared; certainly enough to make out Dan’s silhouetted form in the amber glow of the lamp post.

“Is this really what you go through?” his voice is reedy, hoarse. All he can focus on is the boy inches away from his face.

Dan nods quietly. “Can be up to five times a day. Once it was twenty.”

He feels like crying. However much adrenaline there had been ripping through his veins had melted away; albeit only slightly, but the thought alone of this being a daily endeavor makes him want to physically remove his central nervous system himself. The thought of enduring such pain not only on a daily basis but multiple, only to emerge with a smile and with enough capacity to help others with the same issue-

Dan is an angel. 

He doesn’t deserve him, his mind cries. He really doesn’t. He doesn’t.

“Deep breaths,” he reminds him, and it’s only then he realizes he’s hyperventilating again.

“Fuck,” he curses, slowing his chest down. He remembers the candle and closes his eyes again.

“You’re doing great,” Dan whispers when his breathing softens. “You’ve only blown out about seven this time. You’re on your eighth.”

He huffs out a shaky laugh, his heart melting into a puddle. As if he’d been counting.

“Ah,” Dan grins. “Maybe ninth, now.”

“Thank you,” he sighs, still trembling. He can’t tell if it’s temperature or panic-related anymore, but he doesn’t think he cares. He doesn’t have the capacity to right now.

“Come on,” Dan pulls him into a hug, arms wound tight around the waist as if there be no intention, no need to let go. “You’re okay.”

“How can you deal with that?” he says, not bothering to mask the crack in his voice.

“I have my ways,” he says as smoothly as his voice can allow, but Phil feels him gulp. Feels the quick jump of his throat against his shoulder.

The nausea returns.

::

“Ow, fuck-“ Dan snaps his fingers up from the drawer. “Bastard thing.”

“It wants your fingers more than I do,” Phil mumbles, then coughs on a mouthful of Mountain Dew.

Droplets fly everywhere.

"Phil!” Dan’s jaw drops when a few darken his trousers. He’s more than used to the other boy’s frequent laughter at his own jokes, but that one wasn’t even funny. “For fuck’s sake. So not only am I in pain, I’m wet too?”

“In pain and wet?” A voice pops up from around the corner, sending a jolt through the pair of them. “Phil, you naughty bastard, what have you been doing to the poor guy?”

“Oh, you f-“ Phil clutches his chest, his heart hammering. “Are you ever going to stop doing that? I had my first panic attack today. I don’t want another.”

“You’re saying that like it isn’t my plan,” Noah raises an eyebrow and slides past.

“Come in,” Phil gestures sarcastically.

“Leave your door open,’ he retaliates with equal sarcasm, blowing him a kiss. He plops himself down on the revolving chair and takes a token spin. He’s frowning on the other end of the 360 degrees, the other half of the sentence only just registering. “Shit, are you okay? What brought it on?”

“I am now,” Phil’s eyes flicker to the other company, mopping his trousers with a clump of tissue. “Dan got me through.”

He doesn’t deliberately avoid the latter question, but it’s certainly no accident.

“Candle trick works wonders, I’m telling you,” Dan says without turning around, still dabbing at the stain.

“It does,” Noah agrees, picking up Phil’s empty pen holder. He usually lasts a record of ten whole seconds in his room before finding something nearby to fiddle with. “It got me through the Death of a Salesman production, that’s for sure. Christ, I was a mess,” he shudders. “The four-seven-eight trick is good, too,” he adds.

“Four seconds in, hold for seven, exhale for eight,” the other boy echoes. “In through the nose, out through the mouth. You press your tongue on the roof of your mouth just behind your teeth, too.”

“Really?” Phil’s eyes dart between the pair of them. Is this something he’s going to have to get used to?

“It’s meant to recalibrate the nervous system. Apparently Leonardo DiCaprio uses it,” Noah adds.

“Wonder if it would have helped on the Titanic,” Phil raises an eyebrow.

“The fucking boat would have sank anyway,” Noah cackles. “The four-seven-eight is good, but it can’t demolish icebergs, babe.”

“It has its limits,” Dan adds, plopping the tissue in the bin and heading for the bed. A quick "you okay now?" is mouthed as soon as Noah takes another spin on the chair.

Phil nods and gives his hand a little squeeze, praying he hasn’t noticed the sweat.

“So,” Noah spins again, eyes to the ceiling, before muttering a “fuck that” and leaping up off the chair. He stumbles around for a handful of seconds, clutching the desk.  “What have you boys been up to, then?”

“What, since this afternoon?” Phil says. He’d only seen him about five hours ago.

“Yeah. Anything could have happened,” Noah replies, dizzily plonking himself down on the bed next to Dan with such force the shorter boy bobs upward. Phil splutters.

“That was- oh my god, that was adorable,” he gasps delightedly. “Do it again.”

Dan glares at him, fighting a smirk. “Shut up. No, don’t do it again.”

“Do what again?” Noah glances between them. “I don’t even know what I did.”

“Did you not see that?” Phil widens his eyes. “Oh my god. When you bounce down like that,“ he giggles, ignoring Dan’s “no, shall we not” – “Dan’s like a feather, so he literally defies gravity.”

“Hah,” Noah springs upward and launches himself down with about three times the force as before. Dan catapults up, starfished in the air for about a second before hurtling down on the mattress.

Noah and Phil hoot with laughter. Dan’s doubled over in stitches, clutching his abdomen. He can feel tears of laughter brimming at his eyelashes and he probably looks in pain right now but really he’s anything but.

He’s so happy it hurts.

“Shit, he really does!” Noah shrieks. “Oh my god, that’s quality. You okay?”

Dan manages to breathe out an ‘I’m fine’, still clutching his stomach. “Holy shit,” he sighs when he gathers enough composure to speak. “’Memory foam’ my arse. The springs under that thing are giant.”

“Or you’re just tiny,” Phil gushes affectionately, combing a hand through Dan’s hair. The feeling of silky waves between every finger are enough to chase away any remaining claws of anxiety, any pegs to his stomach, if just for a moment.

Maybe it is okay. Maybe it is just a product of an overactive mind. He’s been so wound up recently, what with looming examinations and deadlines and just about everything he could really do without so close to Christmas, that maybe it’s manifesting itself oddly.

Maybe.

He doesn’t want to think about it right now. He swallows the feeling down with another mouthful of beer, the bubbles foaming up like lather in his mouth.

“Shut up,” Dan glares at him, rearranging his fringe. “I’m not that short.”

“He’s mini,” Phil jumps back into conversation, as if Noah he can’t see for himself

“Short people deserve compensation for the amount of shit they go through,” Dan mutters, feigning grumpiness, but the shine in his eyes tell Phil it’s difficult to feel anything other than utter bliss.

“Ah, so you admit it!” Phil’s eyes match the light. “You are short.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Dan blushes, realizing what he’d insinuated.

“Don’t worry, Dan,” Noah chips in. “Phil’s been the same height since he was about twelve. I remember him in year seven,” he glances at the other boy. “You were terrifyingly tall. But then everyone else caught up.”

Phil rolls his eyes. “Yeah, there I was thinking I was some sort of superhuman. Twelve years of age and almost as tall as my dad. They used to call me Slenderman.”

“He looked like Mike TeeVee at the end of the film,” a giggle ripples through Noah.

“I can’t even imagine what he-” Dan frowns. “Mike who?”

Two jaws drop. Silence.

“You’ve never seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?!” Noah spits as if it be as outrageous an exclamation as never visiting Sainsbury’s.

Dan’s eyes dart to Phil, blue eyes wide.

“Not even the original?”

“No, I-…” his eyes flick between the two mirroring expressions. He huffs out a chuckle. “Is this really a big thing? Okay, well I’ve never seen Shrek, while we’re at it.”

A collective groan echoes through the walls.

“You’ve got to be fucking-“

“But it’s a-“

“Please tell me you’ve seen Star-“

“Not Wars, or Trek,” Dan cuts him off. “I don’t even know the difference between the two.”

“Dan, I-…” Noah cuts himself off with a sigh, staring at Phil. “What are we gonna do with him?”

“This is a crime,” Phil shakes his head. “This is actually outrageous.”

“If the most offensive thing I’ve done since arriving here has been not sitting through three hours of an ogre’s life, I’ll definitely take that.”

“Oh don’t you worry,” Noah leaps up off the mattress, grabbing his laptop from the revolving chair. “It’s about six hour’s worth in total.”

“Seven-and-a-half if we count the spin-off,” Phil chips in.

“Do we have to?” Dan whines. “I’m sure I’ll love it, but with all due respect I can’t even sit through films I like sometimes.”

“Are you implying you’ll dislike this?” Phil puts a hand on his chest in mock-offence.

“I said I’m sure I’ll lov-“

“Could watch Star Trek,” a voice pipes up from under the bed. Noah’s folded over to one side, the rustling of a carrier bag apparent. He adds, “not Wars, I can’t stand- Phil stop giving me evils you shit, it’s just not as good.”

Phil’s glare toward his turned back turns into a grin. He knows him too well.

He re-emerges clutching a six-pack of bottled beer, tearing one out of the cardboard and dropping it into Phil’s lap.

“He’s talking shit,” Phil mutters.

“I don’t know what to believe,” Dan smirks. “Star Trek is just Shrek with extra letters.”

“We’re gonna have to culture you up, Dan,” Noah shakes his head, thrusting a bag of popcorn almost the size of his torso in his general direction.

“God, you came prepared,” Phil notes. “It’s almost as if you knew we were both here.”

“I could hear you both from down the corridor,” Noah fires back, before adding “Plus you two are inseparable anyway. If I needed to find you, I’ll find you,” he points at Dan, then at Phil. “And vice-versa.”

Phil and Dan exchange glances. Do they really spend that much time together?

It’s difficult to calculate. They spend time apart, obviously. It’s not as if he’s sat in Maths with Dan pirouetting all over the place with a feather duster, but once are done and the final document has been closed; once the day’s duties are behind him, he can’t say he wouldn’t be found tearing from East wing to West; desperate to drop his workload and swap computer chairs for soft mattresses and lamplight.

They’re melting into each-other, and he can feel it.

 Noah smirks, and only says, “We’re performing Alice in Wonderland next week,” his eyes flicker to Dan. “Have you seen that?”

-

Feedback is always appreciated literally HOW IS THIS pls let me know i haven't posted anything in years i love u all for reading thank u so much  

i spent a good 15 minutes attempting to calculate the total running time of the shrek franchise im crying the things i DO i hope its accurate

[stardancerluv]

Creative Fervor Part 3b

Summary: you get kiddnapped by Roman Sionis’s men...what happens next? Warning: Roman drinking, swearing, possesiveness, a bit of glove, breath & knife play, Roman smut! More Roman POV.

After changing into a fresh dress, you gathered all the paperwork and files you needed for the people hosting the gala at the venue. You knew that a few thinga needed tweaking then you could head over to The Black Mask and spend some time with Roman.

Sitting in your kitchen, sipping some tea, you could finally breath. Your friends had been sending you many messages or calls demanding why you had not told them about Roman being your boyfriend. Stupid newspapers, you had to get used to that. Now, that you were his girl they were alot more interested in you.

As you sat there, you had a moment. These last few months had been a real whirlwind. So many things had happened.

Grasping onto your thoughts you couldn’t help but remember how he looked when he was over you or when he’d give you a gentle smile over breakfast or how a few nights ago he looked when he came home with blood splattered across his face. You knew who’s blood that belonged to. You probably should have runned then.

Did you really want to be with someone like this? You couldn’t stop yourself from being incredibly attracted to him. Just like you had been that stormy night. If anything, now even more so. Just thinking about him and your heart beat with a sweet thud.

Looking, at the time you realized you had to leave. Going downstairs you caught a ride to the convention center.

*****

Roman had sometime before that stupid bird was going to show up. As he slowly sipped from his martini, he watched as his club started coming alive. The staff began arriving and things were getting prepared for the evening. Things were looking up. Everyday he gained more allies. Best of all was you. You belong to him and everything seemed possible.

When he had first seen you with that purple hair you were quite a force. You had not realized how you easily could have brought him or anyone else to their knees. It was that delicate yet powerful prescence you had that intrigued him. You stood out among that group of those silly girls you had come in with.

*****

It all started when you were arrived at the convention center. You were greeted by a small group of protestors. They screamed about how this was housing the work of Roman Sionis’s whore. Thankfully, they were roped off and the police watched them. When you got inside it went from bad to worse. You discovered that everything was falling apart. The set up was all different. The lighting made everything look garish. The transitions between pieces, was all wrong.

Taking out your phone, you called Roman to let him know that you would there alot long then you had planned. You were saddened when your call went right to his voicemail. Pebguin, had most likely showed up early.

“Roman,” you sighed. “The place is a wreck. I will be over as soon as I can. Good luck with Penguin.” You said then got to work.

*****

Roman came back downstairs with for his meeting with Penguin with a fresh suit on. He changed intoa dark blue suit with black shirt. He slipped on a fresh pair of dark blue and black gloves. He even chose a pair of glasses to wear as well.

“Wooooo!” He called out. “Everyone having a good time!?!” People nodded and held up glasses.

The club was already busy as he walked down among the people dancing and drinking. Going over to the bar, he grabbed another martini. Now he would play the waiting game. That bird brain, better not make him wait.

*****

Things continued to get worse. One raiser for a sofa, collapsed. Thankfully when it did, the sofa had not been damaged and a person wasn’t damaged. Outside, the protestors were getting louder and louder. Pausing a moment, you tried texting Roman to tel him what was going on but he didn’t answer.

“Excuse me.” You said to the gentlemen who was helping you straighten things out. “Is there something wrong with our cell service or our wifi?”

The man nodded. “There sure is. It went down this morning. We’re trying to get it back up.”

Panic struck your heart, you could only imagine how Roman must be. You were never late. Stepping outside you tried again to try and messages and even make a call. Nothing worked. Gritting your teeth, you would just have to finish up and go straight to the club. At least things were almost all done.

*****

Roman, pushed aside his sleeve to look at his watch. You were supposed to be here over an hour ago. His third martini did little to make him feel better.

Where fuck were you, he mused. As his mind wandered, that asshole’s voice echoed in his mind, “did you fall for that whore?” What the fuck did he mean by that?

His mind continued wander as he listened to the boring ideas of Penguin. Why couldn’t the bird brain go to Joker’s Ha Ha Ha Hacienda and have his party there. He was so annoyed.

Looking, over at the dance floor he remembered once again how you looked handcuffed to that chair. The idea sprang in him, what if someone who hated him, had taken you. That was possible. Or was it? You were his, didn’t that give you a certain level of protection.

*****

You practically ran down to the street to hail a cab. Sliding into a taxi, “Black Mask Club, please and hurry.” You finally began to relax. You could not wait to tell Roman all that had happened. The idea of him comforting you, holding you to his solid frame made you fee better. You certainly did like how he took care of you.

As the taxi reached somewhere in Gotham, with the convention center enough behind you, your phone sprang to life. Several calls, text messages from your cousin being stuck at the airport, popped up. And there was a few from Roman, you knew what he sent before even looking. “Actually, can we actually go to the airport?”

“Are you sure?” The man asked, meeting your eyes in the rearview mirror.

“Yes, please!” You exclaimed. “I am sorry! Go to the airport.”

Easily, he maneuvered and headed to the airport. “Alright ma’am.”

You thought about things. “If you want to make a good payday, stay with me. We will stop at a hotel then off to the Black Mask Club.”

“I like the sound of that ma’am.”

*****

“You don’t have to go with me to the Black Mask Club.” You told your cousin, once he was sitting in the back of the taxi with you. You tried to urge your cousin to stay at his hotel but he was holding firm.

He was had always been more like a brother then a cousin. Which usually was great but bot right now. You desperately wanted to give Roman a heads up that he had arrived. You also wanted to let your cousin know who exactly you were dating. You wanted the both of them to adjust. Though that didn’t seem to be in the cards. You hoped it would go well.

“Don’t you want rest before coming out to a night club?”

“Y/N,” he gave you a look. “You act like you are nervous.”

“No, I’m just thinking of you.”

“I hear you have a boyfriend, we should meet.” He put his arm around you and squeezed you shoulder.

“It will be so much fun!” You tried to say excitedly.

*****

Roman got Zsasz’s attention and motioned for him to come over to the table. He knew he wasn’t too fond of the bird either. “Penguin, there is something, I need to take care of.” Penguin tapped his flipper on the table and it did not add to his mood.

“Victor, Y/N is not here.”

“Is she supposed to be?” He scratched the back of his head.

“Over a fucking hour ago!” Roman barked.“Go out and fucking bring her back.”

“Ok, where is she?”

“Gotham Convention Center, get the fuck over there and bring her back here.”

“Yes, sir.” He turned and started walking away.

Roman exhaled, he looked over Zsasz’s shoulder and he saw you walk in. “Victor, get back here. She just walked in. You, finish up with Penguin. Give him what he wants.”

“That’s so kind of you, Roman.”

Roman, pointed a finger right down the man’s beak like nose, making him squawk. “Don’t make me regret that.”

Penguin, nodded timidly.

He cut through the crowds of dancing people and grabbed your arm pulling you close to him. “Where the fuck have you been?” He hissed.

“Hey don’t you touch Y/N like that.”

Barely able to contain his anger, he swallowed. It didn’t help. “This is my fucking club, she is my girlfriend and I was concerned why she wasn’t here when she promised. I can fucking do what I want.” He took off the glasses and he looked at you and the man who rested a hand on your shoulder.“So who the hell are you? Y/N, do you know who is this guy?”

“Well, sir I am...” Your cousin started.

You looked up at Roman and then at your cousin. “Roman, this is my cousin, Michael.”

Roman felt like he had been splashed with cold water. He remembered you mentioning that you hoped that your cousin would come to the gala.

“Michael, this is my boyfriend Roman.”

Roman, breathed let go of Y/N’s arm then offered his hand. “Sorry about that, there has been some horrible violence in Gotham recently so I was very concerned.”

Your cousin shook the hand he offered. It was a solid handshake, Roman liked that. Roman, smiled.

“Understandable,” we can’t let anything to happen to you.” Her cousin replied, looking down at you.

“Exactly.” Roman nodded, he looked at you, he needed a moment with you. Roman wasn’t sure how to do it.

“Michael,” You said as if picking up on what he wanted. “Why don’t you grab a table. Order something relax, and I, we’ll be back.”

“Ok, Y/N. Should I order you a drink?”

“Yes. After the day I had, I need it.” You smiled.

Relief washed over him. Walking with you he guided you to one of the private rooms, that he rarely used. Well in the past he had usually used them to get a quick piece of ass before going back out to watch things or for the occasional meeting. They had laid vacant since you entered his life. “Let’s go over there.” He pointed, to where one of them was. He grazed fingers over the panel and the door openned.

“You have private rooms?”

He smirked at you. “I do.” He made a grand sweeping move. “After you.” The dress you wore, made him want to just pounce you.

The door with a whisper, closed. No sound came in or came out. It was silent. There was soft light, a plush soft carpet and a large overstuffed leather sofa. There was a desk with a screen, which at the moment was turned off.

“Roman,” You managed to say, with a sheepish look, which left the moment his hand wrapped around your throat. He loved how it felt, how your eyes widened.

He couldn’t help but smile, tilting his head to one side. “That’s my name baby.” He gave your throat a gentle squeeze then squeezed once again a little firmer then the last.

You moved a little on your feet, pleading with your eyes, he felt himself get hard.

“I like making you squirm.” Your throat feels really nice.” He thumbed your throat a little.

“Roman.” You managed you get out.

“I have a lot of allies.” His anger had bubbled to the surface, he had to let you see what not checking in did to him. “Though do you have any idea how many people hate me?”

You shook your head.

“Too many. I have been here waiting for you to arrive. I kept on wondering if one of those enemies took you.”

He let his thumb caress your throat once more. “Damn you are fucking beautiful.” He smiled as he felt you swallow. He squeezed again, damn the longer he looked at you with his gloved hand the harder he grew.

“Roman...Roman...” you gasped, pleading. He watched as you reached and felt around inside of your purse. You took out your phone and you held it out to him.

“What?” He looked at the screen then you. “Fuck, you tried to reach me.” He let go of you, he didn’t regret grabbing you. But he felt irked that twirp who threatened you and the other villains who were small potatoes got the best of him.

You nodded.

“Fucking phones.” Just then it buzzed, he saw your cousin’s name flash. He rolled his eyes and held it out to you. “It’s Michael, probably getting bored out there.”

“Oh?”

You looked down. You quickly, messaged back.

“So?” He was impatient.

“Exhaustion hit him. He apologized, he is heading back to his hotel.” You put your phone away. “We can have drinks together tomorrow.”

He smirked, as he watched you put your phone back. “Lay down on that carpet.” It wasn’t a suggestion, they had time now.

He loved watching how obedient you were. You did it with no hesitation. You looked far too good laying there. He knelt down beside you.

“My mind wandered quite a bit when you didn’t show up.” He let one of his hands drift up your leg, till it met the hem of the dress. Grabbing it, he pulled it back so your legs were bare, your panties were on sweet display.

You inhaled. “I thought about you too.” You breathed.

He could stop himself from making a sound. As he rubbed you there, he could tell you were absolutely slick.

Reaching into his suit jacket, he took out one of his knives. With a metallic click, the blade was exposed and ready to use. He grazed the edge of your thigh to where the panties, laid on your hip. Holding up the fabric, and with a practiced ease, he sliced and then pulling your panties were off.

You gasped. “Roman.”

“Yes baby.” He turned his head looking at you, knife in one hand, panties in the other. “They were in my way. He then stuffed the fabric that had been panties into his pocket and closed the knife with a click. In a quick move he straddled you. His hair fell into his face as he braced himself on the floor as he closed some the distance between and looked into your eyes. “You mine.”

You nod and swallow. “I am.”

He kissed you then, enjoying the feel and taste of you. Your hands, having gone under his suit jacket it, enjoyed how they felt through the fabric. He wrapped his other hand around your throat. He loved how it made you gasp and squirm in the kiss as he squeezed. Your hands grasping tighter onto him. Pulling back, he smiled.

“You taste so good.” Sitting back with his weight on his legs, he reached up and pulled the straps of your dress down. He closed his eyes, and made soft sound gently moving against you. Your nipples were ready and eager for his touch. Reaching back, he cupped you and squeezed, then let one fingers drift into your wetness. There was no resistance at all. “Mmm, all mine.”

You squirmed a little. “Do you need me to make you feel better?”

You nodded. “Please.” He leaned down again. “You did try and be good by trying to reach me.” He said against your lips.

“I did.”

He kissed you again, enjoying the taste of your and how your tongues moved together and your breathing shallowed. As he pulled back, he grabbed one of your hands he pressed it against where he had been growing harder and harder in his pants. “This is what you do to me.” He pressed harder, he pressed his lips together before continuing. “Even when you had that purple hair.”

Your eyes widen, he knew you were not expecting that. “Should I give it to you baby?”

“Please.”

He put your hand on his thigh and lowered his zipper. Grabbbing both of your hands he kissed the knuckles. “Mmm, take me out.”

Easily you took him out. He sat, in his in all of his glory. He took off his suit jacket and put it on the sofa, beside them. Loving how aroused you made him, how you looked at him. Moving into a more comfortable position, holding his hardness, he teased your entrance.

“I’m ready for you.” Pushing, he entered you fully and braced himself on the floor. “Y/N,” your name broke from his lips.

He thrust in and out of you, “You feel so damn good.” Wrapping his arms around you, he wanted you closer, his lips met yours again, enjoying the taste. He felt himself getting closer the harder and more you moved with him.

“Close baby?”

“Yes..”

He stopping, he wanted to tease though it was tough on him to do so. “Yes, what?”

“Roman, please.”

“Please, what baby?”

“Help me cum, Roman.”

He smirked then. “That is what I want to hear.” He began moving again.

He loved how your fingers dragged across his back. “You have some claws.” He smirked then kissed you.” He loved how broke the kiss moaning and gasping as you came hard under him.

As you panted under him, he continued to thrust. Feeling closer himself then arching against you, he came hard. Gently pulling out, he tucked himself back into his pants and came to rest beside you. He sighed, as you came to curl up to him.

*****

A mischievous spark burst in you. “Roman?”

You went up on your hand and leaned on it. Loving, the sight of him laying there. . “Want to give the press a show?” Remembering, how the protestors had made you so angry.

He raised, an eyebrow. “How shall we do that?”

“Would you dance with me out there?”

“I would love to.”

@spn-obession @grandimagines @vintagemichelle91 @zodiyack @emyliabernstein @top-rumbelle-fan @rosionis​ @johallzy​

[marshmallowprotection]

Idk, i just wanted to do this.

“Bora, it has come to mine, and everyone else’s attention, that you have not seen a doctor in years, so I would like to schedule an appointment for you to see one. When would work best for you?” Jumin said to bora at the dinner table. It wasn’t the first time they have eaten dinner together, maybe the eight, it took a while just for bora to eat her meals with him, or any meal that wasn’t a protein bar.

Feeling her nerves start up, the urge to panic began to bubble up, Bora desperately does not want to go to a doctor, those few times she has been were scary. Strange people kept trying to touch her, inject her with things, but the worst is how her parents treated her afterwards, making the tired girl scrub the floors till exhaustion took over her body. They said it was for ‘wasting their money on her’

“I’m alright, but thank you Mr. Han,” bora says respectfully, she pushes what is left over from her meal around on her plate, avoiding jumin’s stare.

“ I think it would be in your best interest to see a doctor, the doctors are highly skilled and some of the best pediatricians in the country,” jumin tries to talk the small child into seeing a doctor. Lucien said that the last time she had been to a doctor was five years ago, and for someone of her age, it is unacceptable and neglectful. Besides, any person can tell she has health issues that need to be addressed immediately. Jumin pretends not to notice how she walks with a small limp, or how her left eye tends to drift to the side when she is tired, or how she is constantly cold, how easily she gets winded, someone who is fifteen should not have to deal with all of these health problems.

Playing with the sleeves of her hoodie, she avoids all eye contact. She just needs to come up with an excuse, anything to get her out of this situation, but she just cant leave the table without being excused,” I’m really okay Mr. Han, I’m as fit as a fiddle” ‘yeah, maybe a broken fiddle’ the young girl thought to herself as jumin gives her a look of disappointment, they both know she needs help, but she won’t admit to it.

“Bora, I know we have known each other for a long time, but please, just let me bring you to a doctor, or if you feel more comfortable one can come here for you.” Jumin looks the nervous girl in the eye.

“Thank you for the offer Mr. Han, but I respectfully decline. I will be heading to my room now if that’s alright?” Her asks standing up, taking her dirty dishes in her hands, wanting to just wash and put them aways before going to her room. Maybe she could even sneak out tonight.

“ Alright bora, but if you get sick, or if your condition worsens, I will send for a doctor. “ he says taking a sip of his drink, jasmine tea. He tries to not drink in front of Bora, it would make him a bad influence, and he was still unsure what her boundaries are. Pushing her too much wont cause progress, only setbacks.

One am always seems like a good time to go on a walk, especially when the neighborhood is as safe as the one the penthouse building was in. Bora, dressed in two hoodies, a scarf, and sweatpants made her way down three blocks before her phone began to blow up. It was none other than the rfa group chat, well more specifically seven spamming her in their private messaging inbox. ‘Oh, I guess he knows,” she thinks to herself while answering the frantic texts from everyone.

Her phone starts to ring, only to see zen’s icon pop up, bora smiled. Zen is the person in the rfa she feels most relaxed with, he just has a vibe to him that puts her at ease right away.

“ hello?” Bora asks, not knowing why everyone is freaking out so much, she is just going on a small walk.

“Bora? Where are you? Are you okay?” Zen asks frantically, he can’t stop imagining the worst scenario.

“Yeah I’m good, a bit cold but I’m doing well. Why?”

“Bora, you can’t just leave the apartment whenever you feel like it, there is a hacker on the loose and its dangerous out there, and cold. Please tell me you at least are dressed warm.”

“ okay, I’m wearing something warm.” She lied through her teeth, hearing a low humming of a bike in the background she takes a seat.

“Where are you? I’m coming to get you.”

“I’m at the convince store on 27th and 3rd. But I can get home myself.

“I’m on my way, you’re lucky you’re close by.” With that he ends the call as bora sits in the cold. Now that she isn’t moving, the cold is getting to her. Bringing her knees up to her chest, bora begins to shake. She wished she didn’t stop moving.

Soon enough the sound of a motorcycle got louder and louder till it was in sight. Seeing the infamous silver ponytail flowing underneath the helmet, she immediately knew it was zen.

Stopping right in front of bora, zen undid his helmet,” I thought you said you were wearing warm clothes?” Zen asks the shivering girl.

“These are my warm clothes,” she says as zen takes his gloves off to give them to bora. Helping her put them on, he realizes how tiny she actually is. On of his hands complete;y envelopes her hand, but what really shocked him was how she only came up to his chest, a nearly one foot difference. Putting the spare helmet on her head, zen leads her over to his bike.

“Now remeber bora, you aren’t allowed on this bike, but this will be the one exception. Dont let go of me.”

The ride back to the penthouse was short, but bora was shaking like a leaf. It had gotten colder and the combination of the bike and the cold taken everything out of the poor child. Helping her off of the bike, zen guides her back into the penthouse.

“Bora? What were you thinking?” Jumin asks when she walks through the door, being escorted by zen. Elizabeth comes up to greet bora, and zen immediately begins o sneeze,

“I’m gonna head out, that white hair ball is making my allergies act up again” he says between sneezes. Giving the girl a quick head pat zen takes off, leaving bora to face Jumin.

“It is not the time to give you a lecture, we will discuss this in the morning. For now get changed and get to bed. “ he says as bora just nods and rushes off to her room, Elizabeth the third following not too far behind.

*next day*

Bora wakes up insanely hot, but she is shivering. Her head feels like someone hit it with a truck, and lets just say, it looks like there are two Elizabeths hovering over her.

“I told her that if she every got sick, I’d call a doctor. Please do it quickly, she isn’t a fan of doctors.” A deep voice says in the background.

“ oh! I think she is awake,” another unfamiliar voice says and she feels a calloused hand on her forehead.

“Hello, bora? Can you hear me?” Jumin asks the semi delirious girl as her eyes wander around.

“Hi, I’m sorry, I just i- i mean- i just had a - just had a bad memory moment. I’m sorry.” The sick girl nearly cries, but who could blame her, she was so sick that she could barely mutter nonsense as the doctor made her drink medicine.

“I don’t want to see a doctor,” bora says quietly as the doctor finishes packing up his things, not realizing that the doctor had already come.

“Okay bora, just close your eyes” it’s always easier to play along when people get like this, but seeing her wrapped up in multiple blankets, with pillows laying all around her so she wont roll out of bed was cute by itself, but Elizabeth made her way over to bora, and climbed in between her hair and neck. Now that is adorable.

//sorry this was really long and not good, I’m just really tired and i needed to get this out of my head

Thank you for sending me this! Bora is very nervous and feels so much trepidation when it comes to asking for help. She feels like she can get through it without speculation and grown ups telling her what to do. She knows she needs to slowly work on herself but it's hard going from having nothing to having everything. And, it's not easy to just eat when you've got a small stomach and a tiny appetite. That takes time. That's one of the many things she has to accept and be able to work on.

She feels a lot of shame with it, with her health, nobody ever really let her be a kid. Or, a kid who needed to relax and have a sick day. It's not easy to have so many people worried about her, either, and it takes time to learn that she can't just up and leave when she feels bad.

[satonthelotuspier]

It’s Valentines Day, so please enjoy this Jiang Family AU ficlet. It’s in three parts, one for each of the couples. XiCheng does contain spice, so avoid the third section if it’s not your cuppa.

Jiang Yanli checked her phone for the twentieth time, and Jin Zixuan sighed, reaching across the table to pull it from her hand and place it down on the tabletop.

“You promised to just try and enjoy yourself. Ling-er is fine, he’s having the time of his life at his cousin’s, which you know for a fact will be true because Wei Wuxian spoils him rotten”

Jiang Yanli knew her husband’s words were the truth, but she would be the first to admit she hated being parted from her baby for any length of time. She fought the urge constantly so Jin Ling didn’t feel tied to her apron strings, and he had plenty of opportunities to sleep over at his uncles’ houses, as well as with school friends when he was invited, but then she watched her phone constantly. A-Cheng was very good at keeping her soothed through updates via message but A-Xian was far too absent minded to remember most of the time. Lan Wangji tried to make up for his husband’s shortcomings in that department and sent a few pictures and messages but nowhere near enough for Jiang Yanli’s taste.

But she had promised Jin Zixuan she would try and relax and enjoy the valentines meal, although she would still prefer to have A-Ling by her side.

Jin Zixuan, after so many years of marriage, of course knew her thoughts.

“Ling-er would hate this, he’d be so bored” he told her, and of course he was right.

She reached across and took her husband’s hand.

“I’m sorry”

He raised it to his mouth to kiss her knuckles, “Is it too much to want your full attention for a night?” he mocked gently and she shook her head.

Ironically, the next second when they both received a group chat message Jin Zixuan was just as quick to take his phone out to check.

They grinned a little shamefacedly at each other once they’d checked Lan Wangji’s update, and in tandem put their phones away, prepared to focus on each other for the time being.

***

Lan Wangji could hear the screeches of mirth from Wei Ying’s studio. Wei Ying had set up some mini easels and some powder paints earlier that day and was now supervising their charges in art time.

Lan Wangji finished loading up the dishwasher with the dinner plates, sent Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan a quick update on what Jin Ling was getting up to, then joined them in the studio.

He was glad to see that at least Wei Ying had thought to make them both wear aprons over their clothes, as blue paint was dripping down A-Yuan’s front already. And Jin Ling had a smear of green pain on his cheek.

At least as it was Wei Ying’s private space he’d be responsible for the clean-up.

A-Yuan dashed over to catch Lan Wangji arm and tug him over to look at his picture, leaving a bright blue handprint on his sleeve. Lan Wangji winced and heard Wei Ying’s soft chuckle. Unfortunately his neat freak personality was sorely tested in a household with an eight year old and a Wei Ying. A-Yuan of course being the least messy of the two.

“Those are wonderful bunnies, A-Yuan” Lan Wangji complimented, and A-Yuan beamed. Then he obviously had to offer the same attention to A-Ling’s picture.

“Oh, amazing, a dinosaur, is it the one we saw at the museum last month?”

“Yes, it’s a T-Rex” A-Ling confirmed as he continued to add scenery details to his paper.

Wei Ying walked over then and wrapped his arms around Lan Wangji’s neck; he had a smear of blue paint on his chin, something he was well aware of as he leaned in for a kiss. Even if his entire face had been covered in paint Lan Wangji would never avoid a kiss from his husband however, and as their lips brushed together softly A-Yuan’s distressed voice sounded.

“Baba, you promised not to lock lips and embarrass me in front of A-Ling” at A-Yuan’s complaint Lan Wangji pulled away guiltily.

Jin Ling made a sympathetic noise, “A-Die and A-Niang do it all the time too, its just gross”

Lan Wangji watched the amusement dance in Wei Ying’s eyes as they promised him more later, “I can’t wait ‘til they grow up and fetch their first girlfriends or boyfriends home, I’m never going to let them forget how gross kissing is” he murmured softly, before moving away to check on A-Yuan’s picture.

***

The food had been left in the cooling oven, completely ignored as Jiang Cheng clutched helplessly at the front of Lan Xichen’s shirt. He had been kissed to the point of insensibility, and almost beyond, and Xichen only stopped at the very point when Jiang Cheng was in danger of melting into a puddle of mindlessness beneath him.

It turned out Jiang Cheng’s melting point was about ten minutes into an intense make-out session.

Lan Xichen's mouth was transferred to the pale line of Jiang Cheng’s throat then; he followed the length down, soft kisses and gentle nips with his teeth marking his path until he reached the collar of the shirt Jiang Cheng wore beneath his sweater. A soft sound of annoyance, muttered against Jiang Cheng’s skin made him shudder in response, a reaction that only intensified as Lan Xichen’s questing hands slid under the shirt, brushed against his fluttering stomach muscles, up his ribs, pushing the material up and out of the way as he went.

Jiang Cheng helped him along by lifting his back from the couch, before Lan Xichen tossed the clothing across the room. He lowered his head to press kisses against the scars on Jiang Cheng’s ribs as Lan Xichen’s fingers found their way into the waistband of his pants.

The one thing Lan Xichen wasn’t prepared for was the happy face of a dog, smiling mouth full of Jiang Cheng’s sweater and shirt, appearing next to his face.

It wasn’t too much of an embellishment to say Lan Xichen nearly leapt over the back of the couch in surprise, and of course seeing the normally collected Lan Xichen so startled into an exaggerated reaction made Jiang Cheng laugh helplessly.

Snowdrop laid the sweater down gently next to them, panting eagerly as she waited to be praised for “fetching”.

Lan Xichen didn’t seem to be able to unfreeze himself, and Jiang Cheng caught his face, “What’s wrong?” he asked as he leaned forward to initiate another kiss; yes it had been an amusing interlude but he had a rather insistent problem caused by Lan Xichen’s previous actions that really needed further attention now.

Lan Xichen tried, he closed his eyes and returned Jiang Cheng’s kiss, but he could tell Lan Xichen’s attention was no longer with him. He pulled back.

Lan Xichen still looked at Snowdrop, “Is she going to keep doing that?” their dog was the first pet Lan Xichen had ever had and it showed.

“Probably?” as a seasoned dog owner Jiang Cheng understood that most things in a household with pets turned into a spectator sport, and that included sex. “Xichen” he complained, grinding his hips upwards trying to regain his attention.

“I can’t if she’s going to watch” Lan Xichen pushed himself upright.

Jiang Cheng froze, then collapsed back against the sofa with a frustrated groan, an arm across his eyes; he could weep.

“Are you joking me, Lan Xichen? Performance anxiety now?” he felt the other get up from the couch. He watched from beneath his arm as Lan Xichen returned, called Snowdrop over and gave her the chew treat he had procured.

He walked back to the couch purposefully, scooped Jiang Cheng up into his arms, bridal style, much to Jiang Cheng’s annoyance, and made for the bedroom.

“I’ll have to think of something better, or we’ll end up with a very fat pup. I am not performing to an audience of more than one though” Lan Xichen told him firmly.

[dreamscometrueeee]

Sewing Tools That's What I Do I Sew And I Know Things Vintage Poster

Flight is garbage in the claim you rents what is so is it would somebody went there Alicia Countyand that’s the bad I’ll be only the people that were attached the place like that was doing it right limit memorializing all that brought you to comics in the pages of important she is important that you mean that scene led me to comics need to did have you do you are you you must make times of the remorse ghastlyand you told him about it is you guys Kikiand he said I knew where I is doing music really weird at the time glass that is mainstream now safely give to find new where shall I just discovered inflationand all these other pretty amazing things that I’ve never heard of before is also a Sewing Tools That's What I Do I Sew And I Know Things Vintage Poster T shirt anywhere mental were suicide gasping like he’s been amazingly supportive personnel to the cellistand concerns Streetand we are importantand that’s a nature asking questions when you need to like from my training but cure you are your great creative great I like something really try to get the thing that’s good to me sound share your right Obama is a jolly good the things I commented that in the did you write realize that I work in this book I created this bookand somebody would you have to be lineage of comicsand this is a goodwill to the guys taking over after you had a wonderful AA like thisand this is unspoken is like saying you went over to somebody outside of London commission’s are you doing something radically like a faint getting his writing grant requests were for Pauland said that you message to mischaracterization furs are going to jump to wagerand I would be glad to do that for a writer that the wheel of comics continues to as it was done for you see somebody else the book is out if your request is on Monday tomorrow if you watch this any to do on Monday or Tuesday with make sure I first six issues on a diamond in keep that society can also brought us towels I like this flexand how beach town you are living the goddamn Marianneand John is probably is not to say your dreamand your earning it in your way can be like you’re doing right honorand trying to good heartand trying young animal line Gerard Way he’s in comics is in your headand heart felt very still carry Jeff said that before you send a thank you driveway Navy fat man on Batman I becomes Barbaraand he spent driveway come back next episodeand see the students say that on say that channels my guest. I year ago like this week with Elma’s anniversary has been even hyperactive instance like a urologic where Mary might think that is really touches on everything you just discuss the potential light on so when I first sat down with Andy Dioand we had that AEI we can any do we like each other timeout like things we can do in storiesand we told themand one penny he said to me because you is wanting an IDC shape DC has always been a struggle for me to be like 40 fictional organizations that basically do the same thingand actually very messy as a literary device it actually is difficult for some of the other writers now they’re all created out of good places all creator going on when I make a thing so I don’t bother the other thing is 516 so I he said story like I like a spy thriller where all these thingsand all urging yourand I seminoma your interest like knockdown about something something arises out of it dad that was kind of the the purpose of all of this that could be pretty cooland what has to push back against it. Injury resume displays there you where they left is obviously not the one Michael Silver in the NFL network that your golf because of the Cal connection but from a different perspective last year just cut to the chase why is it that part of the Cal offense really was install by Sonny Dykes but the offensive coordinator what is it that none of that was brought in you drafts of the number one like Mary O’Halloran James Winston or Tammyand you install parts raise their familiar withand approaches but the disaster didn’t do that why you think that was welland glad personnel you begin to get a on the opposite is knowledge that we may be short done that they were I think a private area that is a valid question in general why oh why you many Apple coordinators insist on you know not having to do with them of what is to live my life back to as you was the often lineand maybe still is developing that much you notice that it a lot of peopleand myself included potentially talk about the proposal in the trenches line installed outline we immediately revert back to the mentality with anything that we can’t do this is my quarterbackand allow you to be flattered of a negative I really have to do a lot of the lines the cowboy last two years or the raider last year are you taking the team nylon in 2017 I see what the line can do I reminder that while you really think that I think the render the Einstein to chance what concerns me is that I don’t think the line is all want to do so without a salon Dell I’m very curious to know what you think of the raider’s chances this year with your prediction or can you make it prediction about doing what we need a predation but I you I’m very you think I know many of the type of team that they could better than doing oneand in any given point out they were in that position but I think they are that good the incident concerning those are you there be better a table waiting 30 they should also be a hell I am excited aboutand you have to death the running back God the line is really really good the quarterback is getting betterand you Jericho to the tandem of Michael Crabtreeand Lori Cooper which is pretty specialand I don’t see him getting stopped regularly so I am really raters I think you played a very good team to be there they were obviously scary on paper even scarier than going to last year I really like better than a lot of people realize that I say to someone who lived our way because I would down going in the last

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There is still a Sewing Tools That's What I Do I Sew And I Know Things Vintage Poster shouldn’t stiffand rigid it is relax a little bit of your post is’s little slack to exert effort to correct Paul shows so that’s the balanceand third quality is the window still awareness is for keeping the back straightand of course your hands on the lapis balance gesture balance to be the spine straight is the is that what I know so when is present fireand theand so you well your checking the posture on the way upand downand when read the possible is slightly improved bullshit slow to do so while you’re at it in the back as you scan your Paul shoulder from the feed to the on the crownand then you have this is the fourth qualities awareness so that is all about LOL how long carefully Perez not harried not too slow all the way you scan upand then just into universal scanning the on so you’re doing the posture to know each Paul shows this symbol of the poll showsand check correct the poll showing the quality of stability of the balance of the world to the awareness of the fiveand inside of an element so in this way scan your body upand down for good six loops around I call that one batter insert after there is six surrounds take a shop short in a break after that Jane scanned the posture of the doing the knowing checkingand correctingand then feeling both show sewing this for you scan upand down up to see if every six surrounds take a short minute breakand then again sit in the Paul shows I leave you to it all for the first load of time keeping your posture in good order as you have all been guarding that from the last slow time though this time you keep old the stillness of the everything the body the days alliesand the bedroomand so on the third one live Brother is the stillness of attention this time your attention should be run abundantly for this on your breath so stillness means one point so you one point in ill knowingly in her see the oxygen coming old the healing properties all the goodness you can bring in rental is inspire in this with inhalation as the season goes into the chestand love just imagine permeatesand going to the bloodstreams it promotes a wellnessand healingand rejuvenates your whole mindand bodyand spirit with this mine hold the breath spread the breath in the chestand everywhereand then as you breathe out slowly bring up an intention in the body while these fears anything suffering of the world breathe out with the holding in your mind just breathe out also the sword carbon is releaseand this failure exile send this way to stay with inhalation when inhaling staying with his retention rented holding the breathand then stay with accelerationand breathing out each of them finally do them to inspireand him have two rejuvenated when you hold the breath to releaseand let go of an XL so do six surrounds theand after every six surrounds then take a minute break so the surgery the second slot of time he remained still in the Paul should get his do not forget to do the breathing know what is supposed to be thinking free effectand in this way keep your attention so Chrisand time your duration of the batter food no more than six rounds after every six to take a minute break don’t let the mind wonder all fall go doll the forgetful lazy to the Bolshevik stick the abiding in this really mindfulness on holding three stillness of the object environment the postureand the days allies know the full stillnessand this time is one pointedly focusing your attention not only doing would qualify round of breath but dutifully counting without losing the account without compromising the actual quantity so the quality of you all in breathand attention Brad accelerationand then count them at the end of each exhalation meant Tijuanaand to console up to say 21and it’s most likely to succeed to reach that without losing the Then take a minute break when you reach the 21 should you readand distractedand the whale somewhere without being distracted by the distraction just use to take a useful minuteand then started to succeed to reach the top of 21 000 account try to increase the sharpness resolution of the rebound breathand then tried those counting starting with 21 for the first round once finished the culture into theand then to the next swing in the next only do knowand seeand feel each effect all three segments around breath finish that been count night send this was still very focusedand attentive mindfully staying with the full were those counting of cold hole toand the do all the the home on all the old all so thank you for joining with the meditation of cruiser meditation is in Oakland is best done when you don’t have to look at the screenand someone leading your butt look at screen your own mindand but because this time we are doing this guiding this meditation as part of our regular tradition so that today’s topic of the talk is motherhood in Buddhism the mother in Buddhism so because today’s a Mother’s Day dinner when this was injured using internationally but to the role of mother in Buddhism this is very important so I will try to address this topic all for remembering all motherand her kindnessand how to go all develop a consignment of some people have difficulties with the mother the need to reconcile’s because if they don’t reconcile that is probably the many of the problems in life is the repetition of that is so in the context of I would like to draw give this dole in context of the four Noble truths to the suffering of the slides to the truth of suffering is the suffering that as we have faith to do with our mother colonial peoples so still suffering with the mother of the problem is to do with the motherand and the end I think her mother is the problemand so therefore that life is somewhat to somewhat damaged by that something else to do with the motherand parties shall mother has a role to do so that’s the truth of suffering the truth of origin of the South suffering that one has with the mother is not reconciling with mother not to the paying kindness not realizing how sufferingand not realizing how signifiesand all being selfishand the not to the seeing what all Mother’s Day but we only see what we didn’t get for my mother so this greedand self centeredness is the true origin of the suffering to do with one’s motherand theand then them so the then the remembering the kindness of motherand so onand wanted to practice a consignment with mother is of course the truth of the noble truth of the path that because you will be able to try to practice righteous to choose with lovingkindness so much of the tall gone thatand hopefully they will be the truth of cessation decision is that there is no longer the same problemand anger is a Zen man then our children to to do with the heavens above with the mother but in the in relation to that first I would like to just go back to the Godand his mother when the Buddha was the widow was born when he was better which is why we called the consumer with year old it was just one week old souland young his mother passed away’sand the so therefore Buddha was did not really have an actual lot of time to spend his time with his mother he probably knew that the chose to conceive of the timeand he did so nevertheless it is said that when Buddha was the meditating of the beach just before the couple maybe couple of weeks or days before his attainment of Enlightenment so the sum of the day was informed of the Buddha’s mother who she has been being reborn in the heaven of the threat through them God’s informed half saying that your son has deserted your palaceand deserve your husbandand he has not fulfilled her wishesand expectations of the per patternsand his wife that he has a abandoned the childand wifeand he’s now about to die of starvationand sold so therefore them in the mother from the accuses heaven the 33 rounds looks down he also could see the house the Prince about the is indeed the is a emaciated bodies become so thinand weakand sitting under a tree almost like a slug of minutes of Scott so she criedand wafted to sitand when she criedand said the teardropand blue those lapsand it is then the Buddha broke silenceand told his mother that her mom please do not to be ill informed by the day was but I’m about to win enlightenment in the very shortly so I would visit so that is the storyand thenand not so long after his attending enlightenmentand turning the wheel of domicile enough he actually then visited us he told her in on the end of his disciples that he has to go to teacher his motherand then he went to to the heaven of threaded throughout God for three months three months to repair kindnessand revenge of the people of the Dharmaand other teaching to the heaven of the interim goals including his mother so that’s example of how Buddha interrupted from his three months I wish Abbé Scholz know me from this worldand then he wentand talked to the dogma to his mother so that is the life of Buddhaand so also goes with the I can remember that this is such a pundit the antigen century so that heand his mother was very illand cannot go suffering while largely the illnessesand could not spend a good nights sleep all day since very longand so onand also he was as a celebrated Buddhist monkand teacher she wrote this special style Jim will rebuild this is the book was called demo rebirthing but actually it was a how to entertain his mother’s teaching other Buddhists a pathand status of Enlightenmentand the soulsand subsequently his writing has become a are damn all boardgame in Tibetan Buddhism then couple of American scholars of Tibetan Buddhist scholars have turned that bull right into text called demo report in order to teach his mother to repair kindness sold the gray masses have have done a lot of great work so today I’m going to really help you to focus on how youand I also as a as a as a child of our mother can best best learn to to approach the all all perception of motherand change by reflecting on heart kindness first for its it’s important to call my mother very lovinglyand very redand set my kind mother my kind motherand if you can say that you’re my kind motherand just try to see her face just try to see remember the times that she been very kindand does this remember the time that she had she she has she has become a very oldand then how much himand his suffering not from the day that she she conceive you all what must have how delighted Moshe have been as found a found a gem all all what ever so all mother from the very day that she conceive us in in in hot womb as she she was willing to forbear all hardships physical hardships emotional hardships as well as financial constraint is water whatever a professional kind of a risking to the sacrifice she had to make a lot of women when they become pregnant they basically have to have to give up their career or give up the positions than mothers or mothers have done that so therefore try to remember imagine old the what the what a physicaland emotionaland financial difficulties all mother would’ve gone through the G June 1 time June 1 ignition timing me when she considerately conceived in in a mouse in her womb almost should put up with a hard life at the online so to speak she did put half live online so that she can that usand bring up bring bring bring up in this world so so therefore it’s very important to remember what what takes to become the to what takes to become a biological mother just carrying the baby for nine monthsand 10 days to be exact according the third but also wrote a very beautiful all time about about her confessing all the sufferings of mother who he knows that is partly due to him being is said because childand he says my mother you carried me nine monthsand 10 days in your bodyand the ever increasing weight of my body has completely sort of sag your bodyand jeopardize your other activities in life but nevertheless you put your live onlineand are used voluntarily accepted all the sufferings on all full photos to me to be born into the world then from the moment that the you will bond be up on even though we were helpless but she completely is no embrace all body with hot warmth of our bodyand clean the dirtand filled inand the snoband the old old you know whatever we remix every Minnesota come out a waste of my Bob orders she would clean itand wipe itand the anything to put in her womb armsand look at look at with a kind eyesand called with a very sweet namesand theand the that she wouldn’t even even drink on warm food or drinks but instead she would rather she would rather delay them until we are totally comforted on Julia settle downand theand breast feed us old her physical needs into strength whatever strengthand energy she has even that she would rather let that do all the bodily energy of how she would breast feed usand that wasn’t just for today just for today or one night continues for 2 to 2 years she should continue to hold us she wouldn’t to go out even for a day even for couple hours is as we will be will more precious than hop on life what one of the debating places that we were treated as own piece of hot dinnerand the from which charcoal also ways to keep us from dangerand protect us from the coldand heatand it never would do to part from our all moment she would do all kinds of things so that the solid food could is not easy to swallow all the mashed with our fingers thingsand then try to feed us even though even though we are not corporative to to do that she fed us slowly you know that the that the weather whatever even though we can just lie down where reports she would not leave us alone she will constantly keep a watch so that she wouldn’t dare to do anything for Hamas should become the constant care constant God closed in sort of a poetical like a herder like it is animal you’re constantly hurting them to become the most helpless the thing that highlight has found but most preciousand she therefore has it just old half signifies all to how timeand enjoyment in activitiesand interest but completely giving us giving us the to the foodand clothes warmthand the not letting us to face any hardships what whatever she would shoot even though we couldn’t understand a single word she was still speak tirelessly many words our conversations one work one way conversation but she just just the way we look baby smile she would that were to the only comfort she has but she would constantly told conferencing constantly tell storiesand thenand not the mindand on hardships that she has brought us up in these ways that she doesn’t have any time to do spiritual things to do Mondayand things all of that she riskand put aside but the tirelessly not just one day or night so that she constant her whole life become totally busy just to give him to bring me up so how could possibly can we can we forget all the Titus title is word that our mother didst just to give us bothand itand it realized until as far as we could Kroll even though we could crawl that wasn’t enough though because she could she wouldn’t because we can call now she’s afraid that we may we may wonder off to those dangers placesand then stingsand therefore she would do she would not dare to part anywhere she would constantly keep an eyeand theand therefore make herself like a most dedicated’s most devoted companion terrorand the endand the one who loves theand the seizures she she she could not depart for us even for a moment so all of how they relate to saved wealth all property shouldand did you use junior high youth she may have to do do additional job more than two or three jobs over all those that is a savings that she didn’t day to spend she would buy everything that for our need for those clothes whether it’s a toys whether it’s us other necessities that we need for usand the whole body is constantly not losing strengthand energy to shapeand form what mention all the stress she would not remind us to the she would not mind to signifies any of that dispense to give to spell to us so that we we will not be the be called or hungry or thirsty or unattendedand and so on so all mother has has become basically oldand frailand and dependentand sometimes emotionally very depressedand tiredand sleepless but she still would not’s complaint are single word to us but she rather where all about those hardships willingly on on on ourselvesand theand the eventually she ourselves would have scored if some of us have for us all mother still alive then you would know she’s 20 3040 years older than you probably in a nursing homeand theand theand how much attention she did when she has become now helplessand oldand and the end themand lonelyand need company that how much of timeand companyand things are weand have been willing to do so that those of us who whose mothers’ just imagine she has completely partedand left everything behindand she had to go to the on net uncharted territory of next live in the bottles over having having to carry all the that she created on behalf of us just to bring us up to much physicaland emotional that she she would have she would have to go through all of that she she she herself was parted from this physical world but emotionally older that she has created to bring us up all she has to carry like a burden to to go to those difficult places placesand and spaces so what we doing about is is we need to remember all mother’s suffering mother sacrificesand mother’s kindnessand how much since our early days all mother’s physical bodyand how condition had deteriorated due to illness agingand later on by death that even when half of any precious body still wasn’t was a taken twos like symmetry or something you knowand andand all in those in the West because they they would put in a very shiny ball so you don’t see that in the in the traditional they were there would still a lot of take the body into symmetriesand a letter letter to be deposed to decompose all eaten by by bio Wawa animals like vulturesand so on because been out even if all sing all the has all the pieces of body become so strewnand taken away by means but there’s nothing she can do about that so that’s that’s that’s that’s our life so we have become rather like orphan who couldn’t do anything we we would we may we made love all mother but we do can do a thing in terms of risk to half from suffering of all digital signalsand yet we kindness when you think about it is safe is the truth of the responsibility fell on us which many of you will as a biological mother if you have been your self mother just of the same amount of physical care emotional careand the financial signifies you have made as a mother you your mother would have made same if not more some people may have some sad stories of not getting the same situation but but even that these cannot blame your mother your mother is a and how on stressand hardshipsand difficulty were largely due to having taken up the liberty to give all of that to to awes so therefore we should still remember my kind old mother my kind old mother thinking that my own kind old mother’s when she has to part when she has to about that from these life she doesn’t have any medics to take so much metal to take with us because of the all of the car and difficulties that she she she she she she went through are largely the note can be cannot be shared by you or shared with anyone else yet all the better that she created that are negative audit objects was largely her intention was just for the sake of all on alland all on being so therefore being able to think of mother is that in many send some of us would have no opportunity to to repair the kind his mother because she’s dead already others some of use if you have your mother is still alive it’s very important to going to consult with us part of the reason that you all she was still very negativeand miserable was because you have any consult with your mother if you have any consult your mother that is the part of the problem but you couldn’t really hold your your friendship with anyone else for very long is because you have is resentment to basically reflect everything as you did to to the mother to everyone elseand the certificate some goes with the father as well so those who consult with the veteransand the mother in particularand those who learn to be consult it’s never too late so so therefore today’s a good day to the two how to how to go to consult with your mother at least tell half of that you have you have you have come to the moon your own selfishnessand the not being so grateful I have not been very courteousand apologize halfand even apologize all for the sake of peaceand I’m not talking about a severe mother was a was was perfect but you didn’t see how that red doesn’t mean that your mother still was a human being every human being has has a lot of imperfect perfect characteristic as well as very good perfect a good characteristic so don’t try to idolize anybody’s mother anybody’s mother’s everybody every mother has has horn on opinion about how child as well so therefore the everybody every mother would be perceived differently accordingly those people who who have the goodness to to see the motherand hot amount of the graph hardshipsand signifies that all mother has enjoyed it should do we should grow up right nowand not’s not sit on this very awkward point of view oafs is smokingand reflecting to the motherand hard treatment oath towards oneself as being non acceptable disrespectful whatever it is but even then we should now to grow that life is so shortand let before she dies going to consultand say I’m sorry on I’ve grown to accept you a fix of you as you are rather than trying to make some negative comparison with others so therefore being able to remember all kind mothersand motherand see how much she’s passes become old become sickand become dependent of the committee sadand lonelyand put yourself in our shoesand try to therefore learn to repack kindnessand so his mother weptand even in the 7030 could not bear to to to stay in a mall but he promised to the visitand he did he visited half a member both of those mother in the have the heaven of that the roundsand then then Dave spent all this time giving teachings to half so what is it that you can do to to repair the kindness of mother himand Bullock could say you know my mother wasn’t there when I was young because she died a week beforeand after he was born so he had hardly known as a biological mother with this list onto your stepmother’s up to go to maintenance stepped in she did thisand it becomes a stepmother because she stepped in to take over the role of my undatedand and brought him upand so on even then brother was in the top of that deliberately took all the way time to go to the the Heaven of 33 roundsand spend the timeand give the teaching so hence we have this Buddhist festival cope with the descending from the heaven that’s is descending from heaven after having to spend time to repair the hot kindness in the know he could not repay kindness to his mother in the same life so you should not think it’s too late to repair the kind as her mother even say your some of your mother pasta way you can still goand do something because you read because we don’t know where your head hits of our mother is reborn but is possible that she is still wondering in some solderand and she has no no one to care for no one to remember how so therefore it your will never go astray if you as a as a as a child who has remember eyes orphaned by the mother’s absence even though we read helpless agreement we must still remember how kindness who all mother these how much older all weekand she might be in the systemand even though we want to go looking for hollow shucking when Buddha could see where he’s mother is we couldn’t not see how the could not call on themand she will hear so we are completely different vasectomy recording where the mother is couldn’t call a nameand where she went on since a but nevertheless we should still can do all memories I remember hot kindnessand see how helpless we are now but nevertheless feel indebted to to remember hot kindness when you remember some people’s kindness then you definitely feel grateful to gratitude that we are able to seal all will greatly so warm up loving feeling will come from all hotand you have a loving kind loving feeling towards all mother then you would no longer presentand develop brood it will all all all talk negative thing some people of you have seen that all the big window here Buddhist about you remember the kindness mother repair kind of thisand I forgot I remember of any kind is my my mother did become very very hostile to the whole idea that we have to be kind to her mother of course these are some people have that kind of karma of not having had any pleasant experience with’s mother and that is also to do with so therefore we do is we should picture the bed we should try to try to modify the by by remembering such as Mother’s Dayand tried to light a candle or remember kindnessand tried to bury your egoand try to be consult withand think of their great contribution inand get to the kind of that she bestowed upon us even though we do not have even though many loving motherand a son of a child’s will close our loving bell juju goalsand conditionedand no one has freedom to spend the time ever with the mother all this you have to go when you least want to go away from her mother she you go away from how she went away from your souls so therefore how much she but yet she gets almost like hot has been taken out of our love alive yet you know we we have left off motherand she has can’t see us say your mother is alive but she can see you because you are so busy you’re being successful or whatever but still what is success if you don’t have time for your mother to success is jeopardizing your well being so your material to weld is successful people don’t spend time with veterans old to seek all all on lonelyand then they leave it until last minuteand then they’ve been to have a lot of guilt of the colonial peoples depression is because they didn’t do that the right things to the parents to the mother while they need them why they most pertinent time to repack kindness when they seekand lonelyand old that time what is you your success means she can’t barely see you or spend quality time with how even when you spend time with our you don’t you you are you or you don’t do this Ted aspects to all speak courteously lovingly to the then then there is every reason for hard to be very upset so therefore we have to do to try to do the right thing to repair the kindness of parents while they are aliveand dead they are there one day you would be then when she’s died or what ever you would be depressed for a long time peoples depressionand anxietyand the volatility of the emotional instability the mind so emotionally we is because they haven’t really warmed up the heaven really done the real work will homework to do to to repair the kindness of one’s wedding loving mother them every single mother mother by nature biologically is kindand selfless in front of do a child enter not to remember that the kindness of all one’s mother is a great is a is of so therefore in Buddhist teaching emphasized motherand remembering the mother as the first practice not only the mother but see old singeing beings as mother not just from this life but from Paul’s life’s the difficulty that we have in certain people in the end in this lab is also buys lives mother’s beautiful witch with whom we have reconciled so therefore reconciling with all motherand and do not talk about how mistakes all hard wrongdoing but thinkable the sacrifice you made when you do that then you can see while someone else’s nobody will be able to do that like my mother did to me so therefore I should be able to have the goodness to forgive her even of hot mistakesand who hasn’t got mistakes in your sofasand also is a better window mother would have would have said if your sister for the same criticisms that you think about your mother what would you think say your son or daughter are all thinking having the same attitude as you have with your mother ones what would you think what you feel my children are so ungratefuland then she was completely it is same as your parent going through so the karma is very very escalating this off not reconciling with parents is very heavy it will really get you result it hasn’t got you up so that’s why the remembering the dryness of motherand and are doing something to her while she is alive make sure that your visit all the time that you spend is different than you really she really mixed to get to know that she have come to growand become strongand grown to become wiseand starting to really speak kindlyand lovingly to our small acts of kindness we should do a video visit to be very very sweetand short very very unimpeded by your normal behavioral reactionsand rebelliousness all over the child father tried to be very good consented to speak kindly thank how things give credit to offer all the things you areand you have actually that’s true your educationand knowledge just noise financial independence where you are in love you would be there have not been all the hard work you did your parents did in your life being able to thing these will make our students made us to grow in the heartand therefore have you will even when she dies all even in your old as you would never regret not having be consult the better you will feel all it was a long journey but in theand I’m so glad I be consult with my mother you always speak fondly of the mother might kind old mother you will speak to my Kino some people can’t even said so the mother my mother but is assimilated that the that they can’t even speak kind informed me the name of the mother so they don’t say my dear mother my kind old your mother they don’t it as they consider that they just they just have this only negativeand very vindictive identity is the associate that is a very heavy heavy and this will slowly not already what impact you all the behavioraland emotional problems if you have some emotional problems that rooted in that not not on the inability to do the conservative mother then it affected you with your husband over the wife all the gifts with whoever you are working with you always reflect them with that kind of resentment because that is what is is like a perpetuates negative perpetually negative things unnecessary guns of the positive if you create a positive to reconcile the negative was then slowly you will see the kind old mother even your own body your own nose you on our accent is exactly like your mother can see the how much of your bloodand your your muscleand your everything is the mother’s sweatand tears so therefore it’s very important to learn to repair the kindness to repay kindness constitute soon doing things lovingly speaking things respectfullyand feeling warm emotionand Mecca feel that youand us so therefore when you repair the kindness you usually do loving loving things you do generous things to do small things for hard on her own termsand don’t question about who is right is wrong what would she will do is make a happyand if she remembers you making a hot hippie few times before she pauses a way that is that’s going to be’s just so you knowand are feeling a remedy to all the problems in your self will also will it will latch to do the shift the amazing power of love part of kindness part of him even if you have referees in the Buddha for what doesn’t need you need you need your good hard to reconcile with your mother sent in a lots of people of all have a very warm feeling towards him but with their own home with her own mother over the only major familiesand most closes one that treating each otherand estranging each other with some resentment over small thingsand let that grow a huge problemand not even talking to each other for days years months this is the biggest problem in the mutualistic Western societies where they they don’t have the bond of loveand respect to the elderlyand barons for the hardship they have in Jordan that signifies the instant remembering them they remember few negative episodes in their life a childhoodand then lumber the bearand with that that is the true’s true origin of suffering so here the therefore her to to reconcile with that one needs to practice kindness generosity toleranceand compassion with all motherand even if your mother’s note around still you can start to check attitudeand change attitude about how not from negative to nonnegative from the negative to positiveand then from positive it’s very warmand and as a result of that you will you have ever feel indebted to your mother said you have a good husbandand maybe have a good wife all maybe a good job but where would you get those things without your mother has a heaven given breast fed you once you cleanse you just wanted to do for all those years until you are able to do your own thing how many years it took before you become grumbly independent who did all the hot lifting to to be where you are so not being able to remember the kindness of motherand barons is easy is a laudable obstacle to to your spiritualand emotional upliftmentand and contentment have just gone Denman in life you really bit unhappy in life show old people have some disheveled but much of them has completed folk will have stem have stemmed from your not reconciling with your mother so therefore remember your mother only once a year on Mother’s Day is of closes it is a is a really really really delicious at issue remember the mother every day every dayand every day we should to think of kindnessand compassionand all the contribution she has made to your lifeand all the speak kindly about howand a repair kindness of your mother to your mother did not try to do some other people who also mother of all to the elderly woman who doesn’t have children who doesn’t get much from them try to be kind to them as slowly much so how many mothers mothers have been misunderstood by the childrenand have been completely estranging the never get a they never get about that than it was a happy Mother’s Day it’s a really despicable so therefore it’s important to repair the kindness of our mother as best as one can watch if possible to hire while she’s alive to not at least someone who’s near his dears to her that tell how the day that you have a consult with halfand you totally forgive how apologize offand would never thinkand talk in the negative way that you normally do try to make up some shiftand change it into youand your attitude about how one how one one thing so once a mother because if you have change your thought about your mother then you will you will have the cessation of the suffering related with mother if you have a consult with your motherand make peace with hall make peace with all theand then you you you will you will be much kinder to yourselfand other mothers as well because otherwise there is is a business amazing kind of a home view that you continue to hold that the regarding your motherand you’re not therefore that’s that’s the true origin of your suffering is suffering is not because you have all of the problems who doesn’t but fundamentally not being able to having loving feeling towards your mother mother is is everyone’s soles of real joyand happinessand gratitude majority people’s also join happinessand gratitude is the motherand show your husbandand wife sure that you met them only when you’re going to do a whatever what but who brought it up to to be able to meet such a wonderful husbandand wife all job or whatever so be considerate of all where you all to be able to get what you are you where you figure someone is a wonderful new life but your mother isn’t you have not grown up at all so that’s why it’s very important to effectively utilize this Mother’s Day not only a look at your mother’s photoand the spent couple moments to in front of itand meditateand try to express your gratitude loveand and if the necessary forgivenessand the thing and if she’s alive give out a cold really do not wait anymore some of you have not called your mother you still think she’s wrong all you think it’s your fold either way it’s a waste of time but tried to kill the time by pick up the phone while he hold a whole holder phone or something like that in your life that you’re not reconciling with your mother so therefore the part of lovingkindness it tools your mother can make yourself doubly empowered to be able to consult with your mother with your mother so that’s why today’s talks is not only because his Mother’s Day but also I was thinking because this is of a soft week they suddenly according to Theravada Buddhist calendar which most Buddhists are terrifiedand in the country’s death celebrating they suckedand lost the tested is actually the full moon but some are still celebrating this weekand so therefore I was just reflecting on the Mother’s Dayand remembering about the Buddha’s life soand also today Okamoto Bliss are celebrating this out according to this calendar so it’s very good to remember on that ice I said I would try to try to respond to your comments or questions online so if I would just come up to here because I haven’t been able to do that in the past hello everyone a lot of you have joined the what British rider is my mother in this lie was not good mother did not show love is narcissisticand the now we are a strange area I’ve just spoken about Susie’s it’s a it’s in the mother that did that has been difficult to you the old half of physical suffering to bring you up to give birth to youand the amount of those time this should better than a half suffering was mainly many snowballed on top of not being whatever good mother we asked you but nevertheless she would have tried our best so do not to try to see her as someone who was meanand wasn’t really nice at all you may have seen that way because body you are selfish to not to remember how sector flies what she made this you tried to think of the what signifies she has made what you as a daughterand if you have become a mother yourself you will know how different you have been maybe you have been a remarkable motherand you you just resisted resenting that your mother wasn’t quite as good as you but how could you be such a good mother you have known to become good mother because her experience of not having had a good mother but that’s your your way of explaining to her to yourself but in theand through my your mother’s suffering of not being a good mother has actually given you the birth to be a strong woman to give good sort of love shows childhood to your childrenand theand us while you might still have something to consult with a but to you should not all do anymore speaking to her but all were said to speak to her quickly really take couple moments in your daily meditationand the visualizer mother look at a photoand say mom look I I have been presenting in exchange you from all these years this is not good for me all will all I’m I’m happy to comeand talk to youand try to make a really good contribution without further delay to to talk to herand phone all right a very nice messageand try to make peace with half because when you are able to do that then then the suffering that we have the suffering that we have to do with mother is because not because she has been scores of suffering to you but because so suffering of youand your mother is has turned you to meet with Obamaand look at the teachingsand try to turn to compassion so your suffering has become cause of your compassion so your mother sending beingsand overage your mother is the primary person is a great catalyst for you to become where you are now maybe have become much more kinderand compassionate not to be as aggressive all not got kind of notes generous as much as someone may have been but the but nevertheless it has it has taught you how to meet with the Dharmaand no longer waste anymore time we all empathize each other’s difficult. Welcome to be like a three podcast this episode is sponsored by the Clinton weekand Elder scrolls legends little after I sent my sponsor big Kelly area that does sound like I just a reminder which now number there we are also to get the pockets of their we are on spot if I went sound cloud keep that shit introducing our guest listen he’s my he’s frankly my favorite guest on this podcastand just their time on to joint privilege possible LOL thanks for coaxing thanks for having me again probably had in like you have your eye on the silencing elevate you not soirée your fall dealer that later I am the entourage’s been traveling the worldand its drinking Simon J it’s on the show that just shows adjusted to part two I like to consider the journey so the travels for the Bishop yeah this is the shows just happen you happen to be in Italy you like to do is I’m last I like that that the lab in the average out of the lot shit doneand it’s tiring I always think that touring looks so exhaustingand I look like shit now you a you on about I love that you just did the great thing is the use embrace your thinking that your who you are like you just fucking you just a guy that Gladys ago beautiful blue eyes I can send you are guide we cannot imagine that I’m really just a guy your eyes look like hamburger thank you so much love you more than just the icing guy with a couple hamburgers in his eyes can live but it is better since then you’ve just a little recap here but rockstar number one Billboard is still number one fuck me like two months Buffalo my mom’s been texting me every time explaining other play may hereand when you hear you monster met with my month to my mom got I could tell you a Muslim pit out of me I was super every time I go to friends as they like him on that when a guy that is mildly okay about the again nice to see a man momand a cigarette since last summer love our tradition just like trying to stop now I am I just not a smoker but I like to get where mild young women from you I like additionally their method or you big ideas for what it is a friendand because of its first live is is about the protocol on the lake got the Canon has to be that the negative booklets the first third have Marvin alliteration arriving not really come out to those candidates is a method think on that side of life in this pack will ship is billed as a backand had a like a camelbackand have a really a whole backlog at the top I talk about it yet so talking had to know when we first got on the street when this prop company building then we went out to Hollywood to fill in the moment put it on I swear got the 80 poundsand the moment put on all my fucking God how I can make it to this day I saw Dan come at the escalator to meet usand he was like holding it was this guy exaggerating how everything is I put it on other economic it to the state after five minutes the strap broke off our dates away is pretty dramaticand I went to go to like it was the height of the name LA while I was laying on the lawn that cheated you youand they know then yes that’s my by the way you should treat yourself yet I get I’m waiting I’m hoping honestly actually for us to go to Vegas I want to go aware that now that gets you really show me up the yeah I think I think Vegas is like my escape from the norm because I get to her fun stuff yeah I did have a time when I got I’m gonna buy a matching fit in with you I said if we rather have a kid red carpet event logo wearing matching Gucci checks it’s the super care he has a valid has a calendar the calendar that is forgiving as I’d say that story about I when I went like 95 grand you start with I think I have no case I was in Vegas like a nice anecdote I love now this is a niceand I’ve really added to this is great out from Vegas is a rare yeah yeah no it’s not nice Abby but it’s a great story of a nice story but it’s not nice items on because it is says shows a grandson of me I can do this I go in for the night using a like 15 grand ready go cash ready to playand so. Jesse Holmes of North Carolina pushing for years for anti gay restrictions in federal education law because the homosexuals are out to recruit in the schools in 1995 Congressman Pete Hoekstra’s committee convening hearings on parents schoolsand values hearings that impart investigated gas homosexual recruitment in the schools the proponents of proposition eight in California the proposition to rollback gay rights in that state making their case just last year as I fall down the slippery slope to make this argument Anita Bryant Jesse Helms random anti gay orator guy you make this argument they oppose gay people civil rights because the people are out to get them on facts like making the case were to save the children from the homosexuals who prey on them logical step to get the kids are going to protect the kids keep gays away from the kids keep gays from being declared normal protect people’s rights to fire people for being if they don’t work with them protect people’s right to pick something out of the housing for being if you don’t live near the children counteract the recruitment show homosexuality is wrong make homosexuality illegal sexuality have severe punishments severe punishment may be gay mind that is a logical fallacy the slippery slope if it really happens the arguments made by anti gay activists ultimately redound to serious legal proposals to kill people for being gay in October 2008 Uganda held its national prayer breakfast the national prayer breakfast is an event started by the family mostly known as the street here in the US powerful secretive religious organization in the US with ties to many members of Congress or the founders of Uganda’s national prayer breakfast a member of the familyand the idea of an event associated with that breakfast that you should have a gays law that homosexuality should be punishable by life in prison for the case of aggravated homosexuality should be punishable by death a few months later in March of last year’s the guy from the family who drafted the bill hosted a delegation of anti gay activists from the United States preachings of people are children right recruit in the schools also said nobody is stopped being a if they don’t want to be a learned behavior can be cured a few weeks after their visit to kill the case bill was introduced in while the anti gay populist pressand the country started campaigning this publication published a list of allegedly gay Ugandans along with in many cases their addressesand their photos is a small yellow banner underneath the word underneathand Uganda’s says because American connections to this the fact that the authors a member of the family which is tied a lot of American politicians thirsty streetand elsewhere because the result of publicity or criticism for the kill the case bill from our president’s secretary of state law to the politicians associated with the street is fairly widely believed because of the coverage of the Kelly gays thing is over it’s not its author expected to be voted on in a matter of weeks at its author is here in the United States promoting Anita Bryant’s old line that is only doing this to save the children the author of Uganda’s killed gays bill joins me at the bottom of the slippery slope next recently know basically anything about C St See Other related products: Sewing Tools That's What I Do I Sew And I Know Things Vintage Poster

[shawn-mendes-post]

Family pt. 2

A/N: Do not own anything. One cuss word.

(Y/N) waddled to the dressing room, running a hand through her long hair that she has been meaning to cut. She was going to be a guest on the Late Late show with James Corden. 

Her mint green long dress showed off her curves and perfectly pregnant belly. After the photo shoot there were tons of offers to go on TV, but she would always turn them down. She did not want anyone knowing her business about the pregnancy or about Shawn because it's no ones fucking business.

****** The Show ******

" You may know her from the countless songs she wrote. With her newest hit taking the music industry by storm. Or seen her on American Horror story  getting pretty steamy with Evan Peter and even in Riverdale getting in between Bughead," James said, clapping along with the audience. 

" Yes, ladies and gentlemen. It is the one and only remarkable (Y/N)."

The curtains open and (Y/N)  walks out, waving and high-fiving people as she descends the stairs. Reaching James, she gives a small handshake, kissing his cheek as she makes her way to the couch. 

" It's great to have you here, (Y/N)." 

" Haha. Well, it's great to be here James. It's actually my first interview. Thanks for having me," She smiles as she smooths out her dress, feeling self conscious about her body. She makes her way to the comforter with a nervous smile as she laughs nervously, hand on her pregnant belly.

" Why is it your first?" 

" I'm going to be honest. I'm really nervous right now and excited too. I'm not one to actually talk about my personal life so that made me wary of being on a talk show. Also, I grew up watching you and I wanted my very first time to be with you," She said, as she places a hand on his, keeping a straight face.

James looks at the audience and lets out a giggle. " Oh you. You know how to make a talk show host feel special," he said making the audience laugh. 

(Y/N) laughs as she let's go and moves around to get comfortable. " How was it filming AHS? You know getting down and dirty with Evan Peter." He asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Laughing, she blushes as she tries to form a response. " Not going to lie but it was amazing. He was one of my celebrity crushes that I wanted to meet. He was super nice and funny. He wanted me to be comfortable and I'm glad it was with him. We are really good friends now actually. " 

James nods as he looks at his cue cards. " Fans want to know the meaning behind your photoshoot. You took us all by surprise by your announcement. I mean you look gorgeous by the way."

She nods, knowing people wanted to know what was going on. " Thank you, I'm nine months. I did not know I was pregnant until three months in. It was a huge shock since I was already going through a tough time. As you know I broke up with Shawn after 3 wonderful years. There was nothing wrong with our relationship except falling out of love with each other. I will always love him and want him to be happy. Some of you are wondering if he is the father and if he is involved and I can not tell you. This is for him to say not me. I can say I am excited for this little one to come into the world. I also have a name for either sex, but it is a surprise."

" Well he is an idiot for letting you go.I mean you are amazing. If I wasn't married I would be after you. I mean I could set you up with someone. Harry Styles? Tom Holland?" James asked, making the audience laugh and holler with agreements. 

(Y/N) smiles sweetly as she shakes her head. " I think I shouldn't date right now. I do have a baby coming soon so they will take up most of my time. I am also going on tour as soon as I can. Currently, I am working on more songs and a few surprises. " 

Nodding,James smiles as he had a game for them to play. " That's great! However,after this commercial break we have a game for you. You know I like helping others find their match and now it's your turn. " 

(Y/N) eyes widen slightly as she did not know what to say. She couldn't even think about going on a date with another man that wasn't Shawn. 

***

" Welcome back. We are here with (Y/N) and it's time to play late late live Tinder. We have a fantastic group of guys waiting for you. Let's see if your perfect is here today." 

She nods, internally dreading what's about to come. 'I should read these email more carefully. ' 

" Do you have any preference? What is your celebrity crush?" 

" I do have a preference, but right now I'm open minded. That's a hard one because it can go from Benedict Cumberbatch to Tom Holland to Bill Skarsgård to Eddie Redmayne to etc." Cheers in the audience can be heard as they are fans of the actors.

" At least that's wide range of guys. Okay how this works is the guys will come out one by one. They will present themselves here at the phone. You will take your form finger and swipe right if you like the guy and swipe left of you don't. The right swipe will sit in the chairs and the left will force to fall in the ball pit. Swipe wisely cause you only have three guys in the last round. " 

" Let's bring out the first guy. "  Her eyes widen slightly at the first guy that came out. He was short,she could tell easily. He kind of reminded her of someone, but could not replace who.

" Liam. 24. I don't know if I like he put no effort in. What do you think?" 

She sighs as she swipes left. " I'm sorry. " Covers her eyes as she hears his body fall in the ball pit.

" That was fast. Let's move on." The next guy that walked out had brown hair, blue eye and green eye that shone with excitement. He was wearing a black blazer over a white shirt and black slacks. " Kaden, 23. What do we think?" Tilting her head, (Y/N) knew she liked him, but didn't want to automatically say yes. Tilting her head, smiling happily as she nods her head and swipes right. 

The third guy come out, fixing his shirt. His black curls bouncing on his head, covering his hazel eyes. He's built and could tell he worked out. His whole look of being an athlete was thrown off by the big block glasses that he wore. " Montgomery, 20." 

(Y/N) finally chose three guys and was still freaking out. She knew that Kaden was the guy she wanted to go on a date, but felt this was wrong. 'It's not like Shawn waited a long time before getting with Camila." 

(Y/N) can still remember reading about the two spotted kissing. The heartache of knowing their relationship was really over. There was no chance for them to rekindle their relationship.  The sudden illness taking over. Fighting to just get out of bed or even eat. Her manager coming over to try and help her. 

James gets her attention since it was time for her to pick. " Kaden." She said, softly as she fights the urge to leave. Kaden comes and gives her a hug, kissing her cheek.

****

Kaden brings out the chair for (Y/N) before scooting her in. He then sits in his seat as he thinks about what to say. 

" This must be awkward for you." He blurts out, blushing at what he said. ( Y/N) just laughs and shakes it off. " A little but not the worst way to get a date."

Kaden and (Y/N) spent most of the date getting to know each other. They found out they had similar likes and bonded over certain things.  She couldn't believe that she was willing to put her heart out there again after Shawn, but there was just something about Kaden. 

She felt like she could just be her and not the famous (Y/N). Be more adventurous and do things she never would have done with Shawn. 

_________________________________________

3 months ago

Shawn was on his phone trying to get in contact with (Y/N). He needed answers and he wanted them now. He did not know what he was feeling at the moment. Sad that he wasn't there for her. Mad that she didn't tell him as soon as she found out. Happy that he was going to be a father or scared that he will be taking care of an actual human being. 

Nothing. She did not answer him.

2 months ago

Shawn was going crazy. He canceled his tour to deal with the big news he just received a while ago. He kept trying to get in contact with her, but couldn't. 

When they broke up, she changed her number and moved. Her social media accounts were changed to private and it seemed like she was a ghost. Until one day he got a message.

Unknown

I heard you wanted to talk. I'll come by tomorrow and make sure your new girlfriend isn't there. I do not want anything from you. 

He couldn't believe it. Now she wanted to respond to him! He was frustrated that she texted him out of the blue when he tried to get in touch with her. He did feel guilty when she talked about Camilla. 

He knew that she would have seen the news, but he didn't really think about it at the time. He was just trying to get over the heartbreak of her leaving. As well as the confusing feeling he has for Camila, not knowing if its romantic or simply lust.

****

Knock. Knock.

Shawn Mendes was nervous. He didn't know how the interaction will go. Slowly, he opened the door and see (Y/N) in a short dress that showed off her belly. He wanted to reach his hand out to feel the bump, but fought the urge. 

She enters the room, gracefully as if she was not impacted on seeing him again. The two sat at the table, both staring at each other with uncertainty. 

" How are you?" She asked, in a soft spoken tone. 

" Good. Good. " He repeated, not knowing what else to say. 

" I'm pregnant with your child. No one has to know about you being the father if that's what you want. If you don't want to be part of their life, then tell me now. I will not let you debate on if you will be in their life. I will not let you hurt this child like my father did," she said sternly, as she rubbed her belly. 

Shawn was speechless. He did not believe that she would think so low of him. " I want to be there for the child and you. I'm sorry about our relationship. I stopped trying. I know it was wrong, but I do still love you. I know this won't fix things. I just want to be apart of both of your life. "

(Y/N) smiles faintly as she felt the baby kick. Grabbing his hand, she gently place his hand on her stomach. His eyes widen slightly at the feeling of the baby's little leg kicking. A soft smile grows on Shawn's face as he starts to realize this is really happening. 

" Fine, but I have rules you have to follow. I want you to make time for this baby. Also, no touring when they are old. I want them to get educated. " 

Now

Shawn was watching James Corden show because he knew (Y/N) was a guest. He couldn't help but check up on her every now and then. She is the mother of his child. 

****** The Show ******

James sat in between (Y/N) and Kaden. His hands in both of theirs as he smiles at the audience. " So how was the date, Kaden?" 

Kaden just smiles brightly as he glanced at the women. " It was really great. I love to have another opportunity to learn more of this amazing young woman. I had a great time, but maybe have better food. " Laughter could be heard in the audience at James unimpressed look. 

" Better food? I have you know we had an excellent chef prepare the food. What about you, (Y/N)?" 

She bites her lower lip nervously, wincing as she felt the baby kick. " Well, I know  this little one likes him. I do too and I would not mind to learning more about him either." 

" On three say yes or no to another date. One… Two ...Three!" 

" Yes," they both said simultaneously as the crowd cheers for the two. 

****** Show End ******

Shawn did not know what to do. Deep down he knew he was jealous, but that did not make sense. He is with Camila now and he should be happy for (Y/N). I'm just worried because she is carrying my baby,' he thought trying to convince himself.

Ring. Ring.

"Hello?" 

" My water���..ah…..broke ...hospital…secret…" she said, breathing heavily as she grits her teeth. The pain hits her as she lets out a cry.

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[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

24th November >> Mass Readings (Except USA)

Saints Andrew Dũng-Lạc and his Companions, Martyrs  

    on 

Tuesday, Thirty Fourth Week in Ordinary Time.

Tuesday, Thirty Fourth Week in Ordinary Time

(Liturgical Colour: Red)

(Readings for the feria (Tuesday))

(There is a choice today between the readings for the ferial day (Tuesday) and those for the memorial. The ferial readings are recommended unless pastoral reasons suggest otherwise)

First Reading

Apocalypse 14:14-19

The harvest and the vintage of the earth are ripe

In my vision I, John, saw a white cloud and, sitting on it, one like a son of man with a gold crown on his head and a sharp sickle in his hand. Then another angel came out of the sanctuary, and shouted aloud to the one sitting on the cloud, ‘Put your sickle in and reap: harvest time has come and the harvest of the earth is ripe.’ Then the one sitting on the cloud set his sickle to work on the earth, and the earth’s harvest was reaped.    Another angel, who also carried a sharp sickle, came out of the temple in heaven, and the angel in charge of the fire left the altar and shouted aloud to the one with the sharp sickle, ‘Put your sickle in and cut all the bunches off the vine of the earth; all its grapes are ripe.’ So the angel set his sickle to work on the earth and harvested the whole vintage of the earth and put it into a huge winepress, the winepress of God’s anger.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm

Psalm 95(96):10-13

R/ The Lord comes to rule the earth.

Proclaim to the nations: ‘God is king.’    The world he made firm in its place;    he will judge the peoples in fairness.

R/ The Lord comes to rule the earth.

Let the heavens rejoice and earth be glad,    let the sea and all within it thunder praise, let the land and all it bears rejoice,    all the trees of the wood shout for joy at the presence of the Lord for he comes,    he comes to rule the earth.

R/ The Lord comes to rule the earth.

With justice he will rule the world,    he will judge the peoples with his truth.

R/ The Lord comes to rule the earth.

Gospel Acclamation

Luke 21:28

Alleluia, alleluia! Stand erect, hold your heads high, because your liberation is near at hand. Alleluia!

Or:

Revelation 2:10

Alleluia, alleluia! Even if you have to die, says the Lord, keep faithful, and I will give you the crown of life. Alleluia!

Gospel

Luke 21:5-11

The destruction of the Temple foretold

When some were talking about the Temple, remarking how it was adorned with fine stonework and votive offerings, Jesus said, ‘All these things you are staring at now – the time will come when not a single stone will be left on another: everything will be destroyed.’ And they put to him this question: ‘Master,’ they said ‘when will this happen, then, and what sign will there be that this is about to take place?’    ‘Take care not to be deceived,’ he said ‘because many will come using my name and saying, “I am he” and, “The time is near at hand.” Refuse to join them. And when you hear of wars and revolutions, do not be frightened, for this is something that must happen but the end is not so soon.’ Then he said to them, ‘Nation will fight against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be great earthquakes and plagues and famines here and there; there will be fearful sights and great signs from heaven.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Saints Andrew Dũng-Lạc and his Companions, Martyrs

(Liturgical Colour: Red)

(Readings for the memorial)

(There is a choice today between the readings for the ferial day (Tuesday) and those for the memorial. The ferial readings are recommended unless pastoral reasons suggest otherwise)

EITHER:

First Reading

2 Chronicles 24:18-22

'You have deserted the Lord: now he deserts you'

The Judaeans abandoned the Temple of the Lord, the God of their ancestors, for the worship of sacred poles and idols. Because of their guilt, God’s anger fell on Judah and Jerusalem. He sent them prophets to bring them back to the Lord, but when these gave their message, they would not listen. The spirit of God took possession of Zechariah son of Jehoiada the priest. He stood up before the people and said, ‘God says this, “Why do you transgress the commandments of the Lord to no good purpose? You have deserted the Lord, now he deserts you.”’ They then plotted against him and by order of the king stoned him in the court of the Temple of the Lord. King Joash, forgetful of the kindness that Jehoiada, the father of Zechariah, had shown him, killed Jehoiada’s son who cried out as he died, ‘The Lord sees and he will avenge!’

OR: --------

First reading 2 Maccabees 6:18,21,24-31 I am glad to suffer because of the awe which he inspires in me

Eleazar, one of the foremost teachers of the Law, a man already advanced in years and of most noble appearance, was being forced to open his mouth wide to swallow pig’s flesh. Those in charge of the impious banquet, because of their long-standing friendship with him, took him aside and privately urged him to have meat brought of a kind he could properly use, prepared by himself, and only pretend to eat the portions of sacrificial meat as prescribed by the king.    ‘Such pretence’ he said ‘does not square with our time of life; many young people would suppose that Eleazar at the age of ninety had conformed to the foreigners’ way of life, and because I had played this part for the sake of a paltry brief spell of life might themselves be led astray on my account; I should only bring defilement and disgrace on my old age. Even though for the moment I avoid execution by man, I can never, living or dead, elude the grasp of the Almighty. Therefore if I am man enough to quit this life here and now I shall prove myself worthy of my old age, and I shall have left the young a noble example of how to make a good death, eagerly and generously, for the venerable and holy laws.’    With these words he went straight to the block. His escorts, so recently well disposed towards him, turned against him after this declaration, which they regarded as sheer madness. Just before he died under the blows, he groaned aloud and said, ‘The Lord whose knowledge is holy sees clearly that, though I might have escaped death, whatever agonies of body I now endure under this bludgeoning, in my soul I am glad to suffer, because of the awe which he inspires in me.’    This was how he died, leaving his death as an example of nobility and a record of virtue not only for the young but for the great majority of the nation.

OR: --------

First reading 2 Maccabees 7:1-2,9-14 'The King of the world will raise us up to live for ever'

There were seven brothers who were arrested with their mother. The king tried to force them to taste pig’s flesh, which the Law forbids, by torturing them with whips and scourges. One of them, acting as spokesman for the others, said, ‘What are you trying to find out from us? We are prepared to die rather than break the laws of our ancestors.’    With his last breath the second brother exclaimed, ‘Inhuman fiend, you may discharge us from this present life, but the King of the world will raise us up, since it is for his laws that we die, to live again for ever.’    After him, they amused themselves with the third, who on being asked for his tongue promptly thrust it out and boldly held out his hands, with these honourable words, ‘It was heaven that gave me these limbs; for the sake of his laws I disdain them; from him I hope to receive them again.’ The king and his attendants were astounded at the young man’s courage and his utter indifference to suffering.    When this one was dead they subjected the fourth to the same savage torture. When he neared his end he cried, ‘Ours is the better choice, to meet death at men’s hands, yet relying on God’s promise that we shall be raised up by him; whereas for you there can be no resurrection, no new life.’

OR: --------

First reading 2 Maccabees 7:1,20-23,27-29 Make death welcome, so that in the day of mercy I may receive you back

There were seven brothers who were arrested with their mother. The king tried to force them to taste pig’s flesh, which the Law forbids, by torturing them with whips and scourges. But the mother was especially admirable and worthy of honourable remembrance, for she watched the death of seven sons in the course of a single day, and endured it resolutely because of her hopes in the Lord. Indeed she encouraged each of them in the language of their ancestors; filled with noble conviction, she reinforced her womanly argument with manly courage, saying to them, ‘I do not know how you appeared in my womb; it was not I who endowed you with breath and life, I had not the shaping of your every part. It is the creator of the world, ordaining the process of man’s birth and presiding over the origin of all things, who in his mercy will most surely give you back both breath and life, seeing that you now despise your own existence for the sake of his laws.’    She said to her youngest son, ‘My son, have pity on me; I carried you nine months in my womb and suckled you three years, fed you and reared you to the age you are now (and cherished you). I implore you, my child, observe heaven and earth, consider all that is in them, and acknowledge that God made them out of what did not exist, and that mankind comes into being in the same way. Do not fear this executioner, but prove yourself worthy of your brothers, and make death welcome, so that in the day of mercy I may receive you back in your brothers’ company.’

OR: --------

First reading Wisdom 3:1-9 The souls of the virtuous are in the hands of God

The souls of the virtuous are in the hands of God, no torment shall ever touch them. In the eyes of the unwise, they did appear to die, their going looked like a disaster, their leaving us, like annihilation; but they are in peace. If they experienced punishment as men see it, their hope was rich with immortality; slight was their affliction, great will their blessings be. God has put them to the test and proved them worthy to be with him; he has tested them like gold in a furnace, and accepted them as a holocaust. When the time comes for his visitation they will shine out; as sparks run through the stubble, so will they. They shall judge nations, rule over peoples, and the Lord will be their king for ever. They who trust in him will understand the truth, those who are faithful will live with him in love; for grace and mercy await those he has chosen.

OR: --------

First reading Ecclesiasticus 51:1-8 Thanks to God the saviour

I will give thanks to you, Lord and King,    and praise you, God my saviour,    I give thanks to your name; for you have been protector and support to me,    and redeemed my body from destruction, from the snare of the lying tongue,    from lips that fabricate falsehood; and in the presence of those around me    you have been my support, you have redeemed me, true to the greatness of your mercy and of your name,    from the fangs of those who would devour me, from the hands of those seeking my life,    from the many ordeals which I have endured, from the stifling heat which hemmed me in,    from the heart of a fire which I had not kindled, from deep in the belly of Sheol,    from the unclean tongue and the lying word –    the perjured tongue slandering me to the king. My soul has been close to death,    my life had gone down to the brink of Sheol. They were surrounding me on every side, there was no-one to support me;    I looked for someone to help – in vain. Then I remembered your mercy, Lord,    and your deeds from earliest times, how you deliver those who wait for you patiently,    and save them from the clutches of their enemies.

-------- ________

EITHER: --------

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 30(31):3-4,6,8,16-17

Into your hands, O Lord, I commend my spirit.

Be a rock of refuge for me,    a mighty stronghold to save me, for you are my rock, my stronghold.    For your name’s sake, lead me and guide me.

Into your hands, O Lord, I commend my spirit.

Into your hands I commend my spirit.    It is you who will redeem me, Lord. As for me, I trust in the Lord:    let me be glad and rejoice in your love.

Into your hands, O Lord, I commend my spirit.

My life is in your hands, deliver me    from the hands of those who hate me. Let your face shine on your servant.    Save me in your love.

Into your hands, O Lord, I commend my spirit.

OR: --------

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 33(34):2-9

From all my terrors the Lord set me free.

I will bless the Lord at all times,    his praise always on my lips; in the Lord my soul shall make its boast.    The humble shall hear and be glad.

From all my terrors the Lord set me free.

Glorify the Lord with me.    Together let us praise his name. I sought the Lord and he answered me;    from all my terrors he set me free.

From all my terrors the Lord set me free.

Look towards him and be radiant;    let your faces not be abashed. This poor man called, the Lord heard him    and rescued him from all his distress.

From all my terrors the Lord set me free.

The angel of the Lord is encamped    around those who revere him, to rescue them. Taste and see that the Lord is good.    He is happy who seeks refuge in him.

From all my terrors the Lord set me free.

OR: --------

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 123(124):2-5,7-8

Our life, like a bird, has escaped from the snare of the fowler.

If the Lord had not been on our side    when men rose up against us, then would they have swallowed us alive    when their anger was kindled.

Our life, like a bird, has escaped from the snare of the fowler.

Then would the waters have engulfed us,    the torrent gone over us; over our head would have swept    the raging waters.

Our life, like a bird, has escaped from the snare of the fowler.

Indeed the snare has been broken    and we have escaped. Our help is in the name of the Lord,    who made heaven and earth.

Our life, like a bird, has escaped from the snare of the fowler.

OR: --------

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 125(126):1-6

Those who are sowing in tears will sing when they reap.

When the Lord delivered Zion from bondage,    it seemed like a dream. Then was our mouth filled with laughter,    on our lips there were songs.

Those who are sowing in tears will sing when they reap.

The heathens themselves said: ‘What marvels    the Lord worked for them!’ What marvels the Lord worked for us!    Indeed we were glad.

Those who are sowing in tears will sing when they reap.

Deliver us, O Lord, from our bondage    as streams in dry land. Those who are sowing in tears    will sing when they reap.

Those who are sowing in tears will sing when they reap.

They go out, they go out, full of tears,    carrying seed for the sowing: they come back, they come back, full of song,    carrying their sheaves.

Those who are sowing in tears will sing when they reap.

OR: --------

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 15(16):1-2,5,7-8,11

You are my inheritance, O Lord.

Preserve me, God, I take refuge in you.    I say to the Lord: ‘You are my God.’ O Lord, it is you who are my portion and cup;    it is you yourself who are my prize.

You are my inheritance, O Lord.

I will bless the Lord who gives me counsel,    who even at night directs my heart. I keep the Lord ever in my sight:    since he is at my right hand, I shall stand firm.

You are my inheritance, O Lord.

You will show me the path of life,    the fullness of joy in your presence,    at your right hand happiness for ever.

You are my inheritance, O Lord.

OR: --------

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 22(23):1-3a,5-6

The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.

The Lord is my shepherd;    there is nothing I shall want. Fresh and green are the pastures    where he gives me repose.

The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.

Near restful waters he leads me,    to revive my drooping spirit. He guides me along the right path;    he is true to his name.

The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.

You have prepared a banquet for me    in the sight of my foes. My head you have anointed with oil;    my cup is overflowing.

The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.

Surely goodness and kindness shall follow me    all the days of my life. In the Lord’s own house shall I dwell    for ever and ever.

The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.

OR: --------

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 39(40):2,4,7-10

Here I am, Lord! I come to do your will.

I waited, I waited for the Lord    and he stooped down to me;    he heard my cry. He put a new song into my mouth,    praise of our God.

Here I am, Lord! I come to do your will.

You do not ask for sacrifice and offerings,    but an open ear. You do not ask for holocaust and victim.    Instead, here am I.

Here I am, Lord! I come to do your will.

In the scroll of the book it stands written    that I should do your will. My God, I delight in your law    in the depth of my heart.

Here I am, Lord! I come to do your will.

Your justice I have proclaimed    in the great assembly. My lips I have not sealed;    you know it, O Lord.

Here I am, Lord! I come to do your will.

OR: --------

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 88(89):2-5,21-22,25,27

I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.

I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord;    through all ages my mouth will proclaim your truth. Of this I am sure, that your love lasts for ever,    that your truth is firmly established as the heavens.

I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.

‘I have made a covenant with my chosen one;    I have sworn to David my servant: I will establish your dynasty for ever    and set up your throne through all ages.

I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.

‘I have found David my servant    and with my holy oil anointed him. My hand shall always be with him    and my arm shall make him strong.

I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.

‘My truth and my love shall be with him;    by my name his might shall be exalted. He will say to me: “You are my father,    my God, the rock who saves me.”’

I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.

OR: --------

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 95(96):1-3,7-8,10

Proclaim the wonders of the Lord among all the peoples.

O sing a new song to the Lord,    sing to the Lord all the earth.    O sing to the Lord, bless his name.

Proclaim the wonders of the Lord among all the peoples.

Proclaim his help day by day,    tell among the nations his glory    and his wonders among all the peoples.

Proclaim the wonders of the Lord among all the peoples.

Give the Lord, you families of peoples,    give the Lord glory and power;    give the Lord the glory of his name.

Proclaim the wonders of the Lord among all the peoples.

Proclaim to the nations: ‘God is king.’    The world he made firm in its place;    he will judge the peoples in fairness.

Proclaim the wonders of the Lord among all the peoples.

OR: --------

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 105(106):19-23

O Lord, remember me out of the love you have for your people.

They fashioned a calf at Horeb    and worshipped an image of metal, exchanging the God who was their glory    for the image of a bull that eats grass.

O Lord, remember me out of the love you have for your people.

They forgot the God who was their saviour,    who had done such great things in Egypt, such portents in the land of Ham,    such marvels at the Red Sea.

O Lord, remember me out of the love you have for your people.

For this he said he would destroy them,    but Moses, the man he had chosen, stood in the breach before him,    to turn back his anger from destruction.

O Lord, remember me out of the love you have for your people.

OR: --------

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 109(110):1-4

You are a priest for ever, a priest like Melchizedek of old.

The Lord’s revelation to my Master:    ‘Sit on my right:    your foes I will put beneath your feet.’

You are a priest for ever, a priest like Melchizedek of old.

The Lord will wield from Zion    your sceptre of power:    rule in the midst of all your foes.

You are a priest for ever, a priest like Melchizedek of old.

A prince from the day of your birth    on the holy mountains;    from the womb before the dawn I begot you.

You are a priest for ever, a priest like Melchizedek of old.

The Lord has sworn an oath he will not change.    ‘You are a priest for ever,    a priest like Melchizedek of old.’

You are a priest for ever, a priest like Melchizedek of old.

OR: --------

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 116(117):1-2

Go out to the whole world; proclaim the Good News. or Alleluia!

O praise the Lord, all you nations,    acclaim him all you peoples!

Go out to the whole world; proclaim the Good News. or Alleluia!

Strong is his love for us;    he is faithful for ever.

Go out to the whole world; proclaim the Good News. or Alleluia!

-------- ________

Gospel Acclamation Mt5:10

Alleluia, alleluia! Happy those who are persecuted in the cause of right, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Alleluia!

Or: Jn17:19

Alleluia, alleluia! For their sake I consecrate myself, so that they too may be consecrated in the truth. Alleluia!

Or: 2Co1:3-4

Alleluia, alleluia! Blessed be God, a gentle Father and the God of all consolation, who comforts us in all our sorrows. Alleluia!

Or: Jm1:12

Alleluia, alleluia! Happy the man who stands firm, for he has proved himself, and will win the crown of life. Alleluia!

Or: 1P4:14

Alleluia, alleluia! It is a blessing for you when they insult you for bearing the name of Christ, for the Spirit of God rests on you. Alleluia!

Or: cf.Te Deum

Alleluia, alleluia! We praise you, O God, we acknowledge you to be the Lord; the noble army of martyrs praise you, O Lord. Alleluia!

________

EITHER: --------

Gospel Matthew 10:17-22 The Spirit of your Father will be speaking in you

Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Beware of men: they will hand you over to sanhedrins and scourge you in their synagogues. You will be dragged before governors and kings for my sake, to bear witness before them and the pagans. But when they hand you over, do not worry about how to speak or what to say; what you are to say will be given to you when the time comes; because it is not you who will be speaking; the Spirit of your Father will be speaking in you.    ‘Brother will betray brother to death, and the father his child; children will rise against their parents and have them put to death. You will be hated by all men on account of my name; but the man who stands firm to the end will be saved.’

OR: --------

Gospel Matthew 10:28-33 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body

Jesus said to his apostles: ‘Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul; fear him rather who can destroy both body and soul in hell. Can you not buy two sparrows for a penny? And yet not one falls to the ground without your Father knowing. Why, every hair on your head has been counted. So there is no need to be afraid; you are worth more than hundreds of sparrows.    ‘So if anyone declares himself for me in the presence of men, I will declare myself for him in the presence of my Father in heaven. But the one who disowns me in the presence of men, I will disown in the presence of my Father in heaven.’

OR: --------

Gospel Matthew 10:34-39 It is not peace I have come to bring, but a sword

Jesus instructed the Twelve as follows: ‘Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth: it is not peace I have come to bring, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. A man’s enemies will be those of his own household.    ‘Anyone who prefers father or mother to me is not worthy of me. Anyone who prefers son or daughter to me is not worthy of me. Anyone who does not take his cross and follow in my footsteps is not worthy of me. Anyone who finds his life will lose it; anyone who loses his life for my sake will find it.’

OR: --------

Gospel Luke 9:23-26 The Son of Man is destined to suffer grievously

Jesus said:    ‘If anyone wants to be a follower of mine, let him renounce himself and take up his cross every day and follow me. For anyone who wants to save his life will lose it; but anyone who loses his life for my sake, that man will save it. What gain, then, is it for a man to have won the whole world and to have lost or ruined his very self? For if anyone is ashamed of me and of my words, of him the Son of Man will be ashamed when he comes in his own glory and in the glory of the Father and the holy angels.’

OR: --------

Gospel John 12:24-26 If a grain of wheat falls on the ground and dies, it yields a rich harvest

Jesus said to his disciples:

‘I tell you, most solemnly, unless a wheat grain falls on the ground and dies, it remains only a single grain; but if it dies, it yields a rich harvest. Anyone who loves his life loses it; anyone who hates his life in this world will keep it for the eternal life. If a man serves me, he must follow me, wherever I am, my servant will be there too. If anyone serves me, my Father will honour him.’

OR: --------

Gospel John 15:18-21 The world hated me before it hated you

Jesus said to his disciples:

‘If the world hates you, remember that it hated me before you. If you belonged to the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you do not belong to the world, because my choice withdrew you from the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the words I said to you: A servant is not greater than his master. If they persecuted me, they will persecute you too; if they kept my word, they will keep yours as well. But it will be on my account that they will do all this, because they do not know the one who sent me.’

OR: --------

Gospel John 17:11-19 Father, keep those you have given me true to your name

Jesus raised his eyes to heaven and said:

‘Holy Father, keep those you have given me true to your name, so that they may be one like us. While I was with them, I kept those you had given me true to your name. I have watched over them and not one is lost except the one who chose to be lost, and this was to fulfil the scriptures. But now I am coming to you and while still in the world I say these things to share my joy with them to the full. I passed your word on to them, and the world hated them, because they belong to the world no more than I belong to the world. I am not asking you to remove them from the world, but to protect them from the evil one. They do not belong to the world any more than I belong to the world. Consecrate them in the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world, and for their sake I consecrate myself so that they too may be consecrated in truth.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

[sailorportia]

Femslash February 2020, Day 1

Fandom: Revue Starlight Relive Pairing: Tomoe Tamao/Akikaze Rui Prompt: Meet Cute

approx. 1,800 words, rated T

also available on AO3

Summary:   Thirteen year-old Akikaze Rui finds a way to change her shy demeanor in her middle school's drama club. More importantly, she wants to perform on the same stage as that gorgeous senpai. All she needs to do is work up the courage to apply...

Tags: Meet Cute, Comedy, Puppy Love, middle school!Rui, middle school!Tamao

Akikaze Rui, thirteen years-old, didn't know what to expect from her school play. It was the day of her middle school's cultural festival, and she had been wandering from attraction to attraction until her curiosity led her to the auditorium. Little did she know that her life was about to be turned upside-down. 

The actors were average at best. It was a middle school play, after all. But there was one standout performer, a shining star against a night sky of amateurs: a girl with long, dark hair.

She played the role of a princess, her character beginning the play as a regal and refined woman who is pushed into taking up the sword and becoming a fierce and formidable warrior. The actress's transformation was incredible. Rui wouldn't have believed such a dainty girl capable of such ferocious yells and impassioned speeches. It was inspiring, to say the least.

Up until now, Rui had been a leading member of the Going Home Club. She was too shy to join any social group she didn't have to, and her only extracurricular interest was kendo, but she was already enrolled at a dojo and had surpassed what most middle school students were capable of. After seeing this play—more importantly, its starring actress—Rui was inspired to try acting. She wanted to change herself, and she might be able to do so through the medium of acting. She had to join the drama club.

Rui knew she had to strike while the iron was hot. There was a chance that if she waited, the fire burning in her chest might die down and she would give into her shy nature. It had to be now.

As the other students filed out of the auditorium, Rui snuck backstage. It wasn't until she was hiding behind a prop tree that she realized she didn't have a plan. She peeked out behind the tree periodically in search of her new idol, her determination waning with every passing second. Maybe she should just leave and go to the drama club sometime later...

She stepped out from around the prop tree just in time for another girl to come out from behind the stage. Rui recognized her immediately as the actress who had turned her world upside down. The girl was still wearing the princess costume that she had on during the play. It hadn't been apparent at a distance, but now that Rui was up close she could see that this girl was astonishingly pretty. Like, "melt your brain" pretty.

"Oh, I thought everyone left," the girl said. "Are you one of the girls who volunteered to help put away the props?"

"Um, I, uh..." Rui had trouble getting words out of her mouth at the best of times, and talking to a beautiful girl she admired hardly counted as ideal circumstances. The phrase "I want to join the drama club," had seemed so easy to say when she decided to sneak backstage.

The other girl seemed unperturbed by Rui's verbal fumbling. "Could you help me with this zipper?" She turned around, showing Rui the zipper on the back of her dress. "I think it's stuck, and everyone else in the drama club has left already."

"O-okay!" It was easier for Rui to think now that she wasn't looking the gorgeous girl straight in the face. She pulled down on the zipper slowly, careful not to tear the fabric around it; indeed the zipper was stuck, and Rui had to use both hands to try to free it. Her fingers grazed the bare skin of the other girl's back, and she felt the strongest urge to apologize, though she didn't know why. What's going on with me? Rui asked herself. Why am I getting so flustered? We're both girls...

At a later date Rui would recognize this moment as her gay awakening.

The zipper jam finally gave way and the metal teeth parted. Rui pulled the zipper down just far enough to make sure it was fixed, then jumped away. "Um, it's not stuck anymore."

The girl turned around and flashed Rui a smile that turned her insides out. "You're a life-saver," she said. "We haven't met before, have we?" She looked to Rui's uniform. "You must be a first year. I'm Tomoe Tamao. Hopefully in the future I can be a more reliable senpai to you."

Rui struggled to introduce herself, as if she had forgotten her own name. She was rescued by the unlikely appearance of a third year student.

"Ooh, looks like Tamao-chan has a fan!"

Rui's idol, Tamao, frowned. "Senpai, you left me all alone. I had to ask this nice first-year to help me with this faulty zipper."

"Don't complain. Plenty of girls at this school would jump at the chance for a little private attention from her."

"What do you mean?" Tamao asked. "Is she someone famous?"

"You don't know her? That tall glass of water is Akikaze Rui-chan. She's the talk of all the athletic clubs."

Rui blushed.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Akikaze-san," Tamao said. "What club are you a member of?"

The third-year chuckled. "Akikaze-chan hasn't joined any clubs. That's why they're crazy about her. She's the tallest first year in the school, and she looks like she's only going to get taller. All the sports teams tried to recruit her at the start of the year, but she turned down all of them."

"Recruit" was a delicate way of putting it. The athletics clubs had practically waged a war over which of them would get to claim Rui. The poor girl had been forced to sneak around the school, dodging her athletic upperclassmen at every turn. For someone with social anxiety, the experience had been terrifying. It was all she could do to stutter out a polite rejection every time one of them found her. Eventually they got the message and left her alone.

"Um, that's what I wanted to talk to you about," Rui said to Tamao. "N-not about the sports clubs! I want to join the drama club. Your performance this afternoon really inspired me!" In fact, it was the most moving performance she had seen, but she was afraid of coming on too strong by saying so.

Rui was afraid that her sudden declaration would weird her out, but Tamao's eyes glittered with joy. "That's wonderful!" She took Rui's hands in her own, oblivious to the way her kouhai stilled at the contact. "You can't imagine how glad I am to hear that our play touched somebody that way."

"Jeez, you can't be a respectable senpai if you melt over a little praise," the third year said with a laugh. "Tamao-chan takes her acting seriously. A little too seriously, if you ask me."

Tamao pouted (a sight that nearly knocked Rui off her feet). "You don't take acting seriously enough, senpai."

"Don't let the busybody scare you off, Akikaze-chan. Make sure you fill out an application form." The third year cackled as she walked off. "I can't wait to brag to the other clubs that we snagged their dream member right from under their noses."

"Honestly." Tamao sighed. "I know that she's busy preparing for entrance exams, but she could at least pretend to be diligent about acting. I promise the other members of the drama club aren't like her."

The other members of the drama club could be juvenile yakuza for all Rui cared. She only had eyes for Tamao. "I promise I'll give acting my all," she said, and she meant it. If she could act half as confidently as Tamao, she'd be satisfied. If she could perform alongside Tamao—that would be a dream come true.

"I look forward to taking the stage with you, Akikaze-san. Hopefully you'll have my back in the future as you did today," Tamao added with a chuckle.

Rui's heart skipped a beat at the reminder that she'd undone her senpai's zipper. "Uh, anyway, that senpai said you're really serious about acting. Do you want to be an actress?" For some reason she felt the need to know this near-stranger's life plans.

"Ideally, yes. "I'm going to enrol at Rinmeikan School for Girls, like my mother and grandmother before me. The school has a performance department with a century of tradition."

"I'm going to enrol too!" Rui, in fact, had never given a moment's thought to what high school she would attend. 

Tamao didn't question Rui's declaration, nor her transparent motivation. "I'm glad to hear it. Not enough people these days respect traditional arts." She smiled. "Maybe it was fate that we met today, Akikaze-san."

"Y-you don't need to speak so formally to me, Tomoe-senpai," Rui stuttered. Being referred to so stiffly made her feel odd for some reason. She wanted the two of them to become... closer. "You can call me by my first name. If you want to, I mean."

"Of course, Rui-chan. But if we're going to be friends, you'll have to return the favour." The corner of her mouth turned up into a sly smirk.

Rui blushed. Friends. Yes. That was good. Great. Fantastic. "If you say so, T-Tamao-senpai."

Three Years Later...

"Awwww! Baby Rui was so cute!" Ichie squealed. "She was still taller than her senpai even back then."

During a lunchtime picnic out on the school grounds, Fumi had idly expressed curiosity as to how Rui and Tamao had become friends in middle school. Tamao related her side of the story, embellishing Rui's "gallant rescue" of her from the gnashing teeth of a stuck zipper. She pulled out her cell phone and showed the group a picture of herself and the drama club's newest member, visibly flustered by her senpai's hand on her arm.

"Rui-chan has grown a lot," Tamao said with a smile. "She's changed so much in three years, but she's always been a talented, beautiful young woman."

"Three years, huh?" Fumi looked to Rui with pity.

"Let's see more," Yuyuko said with a devilish grin, no doubt hoping for something she could tease Rui with. She scrolled through Tamao's photos, revealing a seemingly limitless supply of pictures featuring Rui.

"...that's a lot of pictures of Rui," Fumi noted.

"We made a lot of memories together," Tamao said with a smile.

"I don't remember that!" Rui yelped, blushing up a storm. Displayed on Tamao's phone was a selfie that she had taken with Rui's head resting on her shoulder. She appeared to be asleep, and Tamao held a finger to her own lips in a shushing gesture. 

"That's pretty shady, Tamao-senpai," Yuyuko cackled.

"Is it a crime for me to keep pictures of my number one fan?" Tamao's subtle, sly smirk had lost none of its power of Rui.

[misshwrites]

Unforeseen circumstances | MYG - Chapter 01

pairing: Min Yoongi x OC

genre/warnings: fluff, angst, yoongi having no chill whatsoever

words: 4181

Summary: They never had a chance to begin with, but they were young and in love, they thought they knew better.

Lee Yoonah’s parents had carefully planned her whole life from the moment of her conception. Min Yoongi was the one variable that they never counted on, but that was corrected in due time, just before their graduation in college, or so they thought.

Or: In which life doesn’t respect no one’s plans.

(please read the prologue first)

Chapter 01:

5 years later

Kim Seongjoo was a man with many admirable qualities. He was smart, accomplished in his field of work, had a good relationship with his family, could speak four languages, and was remarkably handsome.

Any woman would be honored to become his wife. At least that was what her mother kept repeating.

Unfortunately for Seongjoo, even when combined, those qualities weren’t enough to redeem his biggest two flaws, as assessed by Lee Yoonah.

The first and most relevant right then: he just stood her up on what was supposed to be their first 'private' date, the one time they would finally be able to meet without their respective families interference. The second, manageable one: she wasn’t attracted to him at all.

Rereading the text of the half-assed apology her 'fiancé apparent' sent her, Yoonah let out a resigned sigh and ordered a drink. She had left work earlier than usual, and dressed up prettily for this. However, truth be told, Yoonah had no tears to shed over Seongjoo's inability to follow his own schedule. In all sincerity, she was even pleased by this turn of events, thanks to which she could enjoy a couple of fancy drinks by herself.

She’s one gin and tonic and a half through the night, contemplating on using her father’s corporative credit card to pay for this frustrated business meeting when the universe gets bored with her passive attitude towards life and decides to shake things up.

He sees her first, all breath leaving his body. It has been five years since Min Yoongi last laid eyes on the woman that, in all honesty, was still the love of his life.

Time had been generous with her. The girly roundness of her features had subdued slightly into more defined lines, and her hair was shorter, the midnight black tresses stopping under her collarbones. Yoonah was even lovelier than he remembered, a fucking angel of misery, consuming his whole existence just by sitting there, decked in her ivory lace dress.

Yoongi stood frozen in the middle of his favorite bar, trying to discern of the wave of feelings that overwhelm his senses, and the fight or flight response kicked in. His brain takes charge over his body, deciding on flighting the scene. Fortunately, he manages just one step towards the door before the overly friendly, foreigner bartender, Mark, notices him and waves happily calling his full name.

“Min Yoongi-ssi!”

Yoonah’s head turns towards him so fast that he is sure she will experience some minor case of whiplash. Her drink almost slips from her hand, and her doe eyes widen comically. The whole scene makes his heart constrict in his chest.

Her panicked gaze is too much to ignore, so Yoongi suppresses the urge to run away and decides to seize the unexpected opportunity to hear her voice again. He controls his face and offers what he hopes to be a soft smile, waving absentmindedly at Mark to bring his usual whiskey while walking to the stool she occupies.

Yoonah’s mind works in overdrive, she can feel the blood rushing through her body at a speed that can’t be healthy.

Yoongi looks like the polished version of the boy she met in college, and the familiarity of his looks is almost too much for her heart to take.

His hair is bleached blonde again, but a shade lighter than the one she remembers. His ears are still pierced, but now he sports three silver hoops in each lobe. Instead of flannels, he’s wearing a pair of retro-styled horn-rimmed glasses, paired with a black turtleneck sweater and an elegant coat.

He throws a shy smile her way, and she feels like her ears will combust, but somehow manages to smirk back, raising her hand in greeting. She genuinely hopes for Yoongi to speak first because she can’t find her voice.

“Hey, Yoonah-ah… How’re you doing?!” He croaks, voice low, hand outstretched.

If someone were to tell her a few hours ago that the convenience date imposed on her would bail, and that she would end her night carrying a mildly awkward conversation with Min Yoongi, Yoonah would suggest for the person to have its head checked.

Not even in her wildest dreams, she would consider that a reunion with her ex-boyfriend would go so smoothly. She had spent a good part of those last four years musing over their parting words, the bitterness in his tear stained face when he accused her of not fighting for them. She meekly carried the weight of his disappointment, accepting the worst part of their breakup as a fact: Yoongi would never forgive her for not standing up against her parents. For selling them short.

But there he was, calmly catching up to the events of her life’s past years, a bashful smile tugging at the corners of his dainty lips whenever she averted his feline eyes as if the past did not affect him at all, as if their break up had resulted from a friendly agreement.

Maybe it felt like that to Yoongi by then, she mused. Yoonah had heard about his accomplishments, even amongst her stuffy colleagues at the magazine he was known, the ‘genius producer Suga’, still using the same pseudonym he adopted in their last year at university, a guy who was reinventing the rap and hip-hop scenario in Korea.

Perhaps after conquering everything he’d ever dreamt of, he saw what they had lived as non-consequential. The thought left a sour taste in Yoonah's mouth, and that was probably what prompted her to voice her worries. Either that or the arrival of her third drink of the night.

“Am I forgiven?” she blurted out just to immediately regret it and blush furiously.

Yoongi stopped in the middle of his update about the newest restaurant Kim Seokjin was opening, clearly surprised.

“Why would I have to forgive you for anything?” he asks in confusion, he reaches to touch her before thinking better about it and retreating.

“As I recall it, you weren’t very pleased with my choices the last time we spoke…” she answers without meeting his eyes.

“Ah...Yoonah-ah…”

Yoongi removes his glasses, momentarily hiding his face in his hand, ears flaming red. He really did not expect her to bring out the elephant in the room. He had this silly hope that maybe they would carry on talking about amenities and, in a perfect world, part ways as friends. It seemed like a solid plan in his mind. But then, Yoonah had made a habit of messing up with his plans from the moment when they first spoke.

“I’m very sorry about what I said back then… really. I hoped that maybe you had forgotten about my outburst...” He takes a long sip of his drink, signaling Mark for a refill. If they were discussing their past, he would need it.

“Look, it wasn’t your fault, Yoonah-ah… It took me a while to finally understand it, to accept that I was to blame... I knew about your parents' arrangement from the beginning and still wanted to try my luck at changing their ways… Fuck, truth be told, I begged you to give it a shot. You warned me, and still, I went out of my way to convince you that it would work out, didn’t I?” He sighs, touching his earrings in distress.

She stares in utter and complete shock, trying to make sense of the words that keep coming out of Yoongi’s mouth.

“I’m so sorry, Yoonah… I’ve never meant for you to carry this guilty alone…” He says, embarrassment coloring both his face and his voice. “Ah, shit, I should’ve known better…”

“You don’t hate me, then?” She finally answers, searching for confirmation in his eyes.

“Hate you? Of course not! God, Yoonah! I couldn’t hate you even when I wanted to!” Yoongi almost falls from his stool at the complete absurd of her question, this time his hand reaches for hers on its own accord, caressing her cold fingers absently.

The sudden lightness in her chest leaves Yoonah feeling slightly dizzy, and she convinces herself that this is the reason why she tightens her grip on Yoongi’s hand, relishing in the warmth of his touch.

For the past four years the memory of the hurt and despise on his eyes during their last meeting was such a constant weight in her conscience that Yoona simple forgot how it was to live without the worry.

The producer could almost see the worry being lifted from her shoulders, the light returning to her eyes warming his insides, feeding his urge to simply hold her closer. Even if they were never to talk again after this night, Yoongi felt grateful that he had the chance to correct this misunderstanding.

That warmth is what prompts him to finally ask the question that had kept him awake for countless nights throughout those years.

“Have you ever heard any of my music, Yoonah-ah?”

His guiltiest pleasure was trying to talk to her using the idols voices, sending encrypted messages through his lyrics, with the foolish hope that she would listen to them and maybe, by some miracle, try and reach out for him.

It was a long shot, and it wasn’t a healthy habit, he was aware of that. Kim Namjoon, one of his best friends and co-worker, had noticed it years ago and tried to convince Yoongi that it was a masochist practice, but the producer just argued that he couldn’t really control his inspirations. In the end, he won the argument. After all, the music he made from his own angst was recognized as his best and awarded accordingly.

The true shock for him was seeing hurt flooding Yoonah’s eyes at his question, and he watched anxiously as she fidgeted with her hair and took a long sip of her drink before finally whispering.

“I’ve listened to the first one… Truth be told, I’ve been avoiding them ever since…”

Yoongi was sure it would have been better had her slapped him. He would have her listening to some of his raciest lyrics and being pissed any day rather than the one song she admitted to knowing.

But of course the universe could spare him no mercy, and amongst the three years worth of desperate love pleas he sent her way, the one message that reached Yoonah was the raw note written by this freshly heartbroken version of himself, filled with misdirected anger.

The lyrics to that particular song haunted him quite often. It was the demo that got him signed up as a producer in his present company, the creation that opened all the doors for him, and yet, the one he regretted daily. Because, at the end of the day, he knew Lee Yoonah, and dreaded the exact scenario he's now facing: The one person he never really meant to hurt took his harsh words by heart.

Yoongi reaches for his phone without a second thought, while the fingers of his free hand start roaming Yoonah's forearm in an unstudied caress, seeking to soothe her pain at the best of his ability, all property be damned.

Yoonah finally raises her head at that,  all nervous ends on her body jumping into high alert while her eyes stay trained on his healing touch, so familiar even after all those years.

Unaware of that, Yoongi focuses on opening his Evernote and scrolls through the app, a trademark frown signaling his concentration until it's replaced by a short-lived satisfied expression, that turns into gravity once he looks back towards the woman in front of him.

“Yoonah, I need you to know that I don’t really feel like the boy who wrote that song. I was hurting, and I was lost… We had so much planned. We were going to spend the weekend with my family so they could get to know you better, remember? Against my better judgment, I had this whole plan for our lives together… And suddenly everything changed…” He scratches his ear, voice getting softer “At the time I felt like someone stole my future, and I couldn’t see that you’re wronged as well… I regret it so much.”

At that, he slides the phone towards Yoonah.  She immediately recognizes the title displayed at the top of the document. She has conditioned herself to check the team behind every single song released by the artists signed under the same label as Yoongi before listening to them, feeling like it was always better to be safe than sorry. This one is fairly new, a ballad from a popular solist, that her colleagues from the magazine raved about for a few weeks.

“I’ve tried to apologize, you know? I’ve written you so many lyrics over the years, using other peoples' voices to tell you everything I should've told you that night…" His eyes pierce hers in an almost desperate plea, and his fingers grip slightly at her sleeve’s fabric "I know I have no right to ask you this, but please read at least one of them, to understand what I meant. Just this one?”

Deep down she knows it isn’t a good idea, that this whole conversation is actually a terrible idea, but she completely ignores this notion. Because Yoonah knows she doesn’t want to live another minute with the belief that the lyrics of his first famous song were Yoongi’s last words to her.

Her eyes scam the lyrics faster than her heart and brain can process them, and she needs to read the whole thing thrice before finally absorbing Yoongi’s words. She doesn’t know what she was expecting, but surely enough, it wasn’t anything as raw as the emotions bared on the screen.

The man portrayed by the song dwells with being unable to forget someone, he struggles with his hope of finally meeting that person again and his knowledge that this would hurt him. He regrets deeply that he’d tainted the memories of their relationship, and he wonders if he can be forgiven. There was too much left unsaid and he fears it is too late for apologies.

When Yoonah finishes her reading, Yoongi is staring at her, anxiety written in every line of his body. Sometime along the way he had retrieved his hand, that now fidgets with the turtle-neck from his sweater.

“This was inspired by me?” She finally asks, her eyes stinging suspiciously.

“No. It was entirely written for you.” He goes back to twisting his earring “Too much?”

“No… Maybe? I just wasn’t expecting this at all… I don’t know what to say…” and it’s true, she feels lost, it’s too much.

The silence stretches between them and she goes back at scanning the lyrics, desperate for something to anchor her turbulent thoughts. Yoongi awaits in apparent patience, his impassive mask enough to fool anyone watching them from afar.

“You really don’t remember our last kiss?” Yoonah finally questions, embarrassment and incredulity coloring her features, and Yoongi is clearly surprised by that turn in the subject.

“No… Do you?”

“Yes… It was on the day my mother gave me the ultimatum. You were finishing your demo and had been locked at the studio for fourteen hours, remember?” Yoongi nods, eager to retrieve at least this bit of memory.

“I stopped by to drop some food before my lunch with her, we talked for a bit, and I kissed you goodbye before leaving… It wasn’t anything special.”

She looks away after that, because the longing on his feline eyes becomes too much for her body to handle.

“That was really anticlimactic, wasn’t it? I was hoping for something more remarkable…” Yoongi blurts, taking a sip of his drink, a bittersweet smirk adorning his face.

Yoonah surprises even herself by snorting at his antics. He was right, though, it wasn’t a last kiss worth of the kind of passionate relationship they had.

“I wasn’t expecting for it to be a last kiss! I would have done better if it was planned.” She quips, boldly holding his gaze.

“Really?”

She raises her eyebrows, as if that was the most outrageous doubt he could have. It was.

“You would have to prove it to me. You know I’m a skeptic at heart…” his half smile doesn’t waiver, even though his ears color once again.

“That’s not a good joke…”

As she speaks, Yoongi calmly slides closer to her, and she can see that the glint in his eyes is anything but playful.

“It isn’t a joke, you’ll really have to show me.”

“Do you want to drive me crazy?” Yoonah feels her face heating just from the strength of his gaze, and wonders if she really wants to deny him.

“I mean it… I am not really asking for much, am I? I just want the memory of our last kiss, it’s something that has been haunting me.”

He can pinpoint the exact moment when she hesitates, and shamelessly uses it in his favor.

“Please? So we both leave this bar with one regret less?”

Yoonah’s doe eyes widen, but she knows the battle would be lost even if she felt like fighting it.

“You are playing dirty…” she says, but nods slightly at him.

Yoongi smiles with the satisfaction of a cat that had just found a bowl of unattended cream, dropping to his feet and taking a step into her personal space.

“Here? It’s a crowded bar, and you’re never fond of PDA, Min Yoongi.”

“I’m willing to make an exception tonight.”

She can’t help smiling, especially when his fingers lightly caress her face.

“Make it count…”

At first, his lips move softly against hers, the feeling comforting and familiar, as if only a couple of days had passed since they last met. This doesn’t last long, as Yoonah changes their pace, tongue tracing the seam of his lips, hungrily demanding more. Yoongi smiles against her mouth and concedes, while sliding his hand to her waist, pulling her as close as possible while in public.

She is also the one who breaks the kiss, face red and breath slightly erratic. Her fingers are still clutched to the front of his sweater, and she is sure they have an audience, but Yoongi seems unaware of their surroundings and is clearly unsatisfied because he only takes one deep breath before kissing her again.

This time the kiss is hot and demanding, and she instantly drowns in the feeling. Yoongi cards his hands on her hair, and when he separates their lips, he holds her gaze with inhuman intensity, like he’s trying to leave an impression. As if one was still needed.

They stand like that for a while, until the sound of Mark carefully delivering Yoongi’s drink order breaks them out of their haze. It’s also a clear reminder for Yoonah of where she is, and why.  

“I had an arranged date. That’s why I’m here alone… He stood me up.”

Anyone else would have been at least hurt by her words, but Yoongi only tilts his head, eyes fixed on her now swollen lips. He understands the purpose of this seemingly impromptu confession. Yoongi had played that game with her already, back when they were still a casual fling, Yoonah would always conjure obstacles for him to jump whenever she felt too emotionally exposed, as a reminder that they couldn’t be together.  

“One of your parents candidates?”  He asks, taking a sip of the glass left by the barman.

“The chosen one, as far as I was told…” She answers, looking away. Her voice almost falters, but she finds out that it’s easier to keep it together if he isn’t looking straight into her soul.

This gets him, and producer stays quiet for a moment that seems to stretch into infinity.

“Lucky bastard…” He finally says.

“My father says he has had enough of me rejecting everyone and stalling… Apparently, I’m not getting any younger as well…”

“That’s the shittiest reasoning I’ve ever heard… And I work for the entertainment industry.” He still sounds bored, but the ominous gleam of his eyes tell the truth. “Do you even know the guy? Do you like him?”

She emits a dejected sound that, he supposes, was meant to be a chuckle.

“I’ve met him and his family… He looks decent. I was told that he’s graduated with honors and is very accomplished at his job. He seems... okay.”

“Well, I am all of those things, and I had the advantage of harboring sincere feelings towards you… But I suppose the golden spoon is a tiebreaker, right?”

“Min Yoongi, don’t be a dick! I wouldn’t be drinking here alone if I was happy about the arrangement.” She spits her words at him, finally meeting his gaze.

He threads on dangerous waters, and he knows, but Yoonah’s last statement made him feel like his reckless younger self. For the first time in many years, he has true indignation fueling his temper. That and, given, an unhealthy amount of jealousy.

“Right… I was rude… I believe congratulations are in order, right?”

Anyone who met Lee Yoonah after her college days, the lovely young woman, efficiently balancing her job at a prestigious news magazine and her master’s, would classify her as docile. Very few had witnessed the temper and sarcasm that gave color to her real personality, traits her parents taught her to hide so well.

Maybe that was why Yoongi always had a penchant for bringing it to the surface. It probably aroused him, hearing her swear under her breath while staring up at him. He must feel very especial.

“Fine! Do you really want for this to end in animosity? Suit yourself!” She slides from the stool to leave, but he holds her elbow, a determined look on his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to be a jerk to you… I just got mad at the situation.”  He seems repentant, and when he reaches to tuck her hair behind her ear, she leans into his touch, instantly softened.

“I’m mad at it as well, Yoon… But you know as well as I do how my life works, It’s all part of a tightly scheduled agenda. I’ve learned how to live with it long ago, so I suppose I can learn how to live with this arranged marriage as well.” His hand is roaming in a soothing pattern, having traveled from her hair to her shoulder and then down to lace their fingers.

“I will still be missing you, though…” She confesses at least, and his eyes widen. This night has really turned into something unexpected.

He doesn’t know what prompts him to actually voice the crazy suggestion made by his brain. Maybe it was that rediscovered jealousy. Or perhaps it was the wishing tone coloring her words. Either way, it certainly had something to do with the familiar longing for her, rooted deeply in his core.

“Tell me something… Is there anything else scheduled for tonight on this hellish planner of yours?”

Yoonah is surprised by his line of questioning, and even more by the darkness she finds in his eyes when they meet hers.

“Why?”

He takes another sip of his drink, trying to drown the voices of warning on the back of his conscience.

“As I see it, you’re about to sign up for a loveless marriage with a man you don’t seem to care about… Don’t you think you deserve at least a proper hen night? I mean -- If you want it, I’m offering myself.”

Yoonah is glad she isn’t drinking anything when he finishes because she was sure to choke on the liquid while she spurts for air.

“You can’t be serious!”

Yoongi just nods, absently wetting his lips while waiting for her answer. Yoonah is sure her blood is boiling inside of her veins. Because she knows that Yoongi can read her just as easily as she can read him, even after all of this time he still knows exactly what makes her tick.

And right now, she knows his wanting is reflected on her own eyes. Their kisses having awoken the latent hunger she’d come to associate to the producer. And maybe giving in to this feeling and listening to her heart’s desires makes her a masochist, but at least she isn’t alone.

“This night was scheduled until half an hour before you’ve arrived. Right now, I’m on my leisure time so… What do you have in mind?” She finally answers, feeling her face flush from more than just embarrassment and alcohol.

Yoongi’s response is a huge gummy smile, far too sweet to match the owner of the hand fondling the skin of her tight just above the hem of her dress, his body expertly angled to hide his indiscretions from the rest of the patrons in the bar.

When he talks again, it’s in a conspiratorial whisper that has shivers running up her spine and heat spiraling through her whole body.

“Well… Can I persuade you to go completely off the record and come home with me?”

[ginnympotter]

By Light-Years

Summary: Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley are professional Quidditch players and rivals, despite their secret (or not-so-secret) fancying of one another. As her brothers become mates with Harry, Ginny can't avoid her feelings much longer.

This fanfiction is an alternate universe story LOOSELY based off of the plot (and structure) of the film "La La Land." Very loosely.

A/N: As this takes place in an alternate timeline, here are some discrepancies from canon: James and Lily lived and helped defeat Voldemort (and due to that a lot of other characters are alive as well), and Harry and Hermione went to a different wizarding school than the Weasleys though that remains unspecified and not much talked about for plot purposes.

Also available on AO3!!

Chapter 1: Winter

Ginny feels the heat in her face and can only assume by the look Demelza is giving her that she must be turning bright red. Her arms crossed and her eyebrows furrowed, Ginny has to hold herself back from practically scoffing at her own Quidditch captain. It’s absolutely ridiculous that the entire team is being told off right now when it was clearly Romilda’s error.

Gwenog Jones, the captain, gives Ginny the opening she needs. “Something you’ve got to say, Weasley?”

“I have loads to say,” she starts. “I’m sorry, Gwenog. I know we’re a team and all but this is absolute bullshit right now-”

“Weasley-"

“We were up 140 points! The win should have been ours! Vane clearly should have been paying attention, but she was obviously daydreaming, feeling safe to do so by the lead the rest of the team upheld for her!”

“I thought we were up 170! I’m sorry!” Romilda injects, sticking her nose in the air. “Just because you played seeker a bit in school-”

“Merlin, please. You were ogling the enemy!”

“Enough, Weasley,” Jones asserts loudly. “Stay for a moment. The rest of you, go wash up and head home. I want you in a half hour earlier tomorrow for drills, alright?”

Ginny moves her hands to her hips, trying to mask the worry she feels of Gwenog wanting to speak to her alone. The others clear out and Demelza gives Ginny a look of sympathy as she walks out behind the rest of the team and closes the door.

“Out of line, Ginny,” Gwenog starts. “I understand you’re upset, but-”

“Gwenog,” Ginny says, attempting to cool down the blood boiling beneath her skin. “This is the third game this season where Romilda has made a blunder like that, and she’s lucky that the last time we were actually up by 170.”

Gwenog sighs, running a hand through her hair. “I am aware, and I will deal with Vane privately and separately. But this is also the third time you’ve spoken like that to her. I’m sorry, Weasley, but I’m going to have to ask you to stay home for tomorrow’s practice.”

Ginny feels her stomach drop at the absolute injustice of the situation. “And what good will that do?”

“It will help you cool off,” she states. “As I’ve said, we’re a team, and you can’t talk to your other teammates like that. I have no tolerance for it. Confront her calmly and speak like a level-headed adult, for Merlin’s sake.”

Ginny clenches her fist, taking a deep breath. “And wouldn’t you say it’s the team’s responsibility to make sure we are working as a cohesive team? How come I’m the only one holding her accountable? If she were really part of this team, she would take ownership of her errors and work on them.”

Gwenog looks at her for a moment, then puts a hand on her shoulder. Ginny usually loves Gwenog, but she has been testing her patience these past couple of months, and she fights the urge to shake her hand off of her. “I know how much you care about this team. And you are my star chaser. But I’m warning you...anything like that again, and you’ll be suspended from the next match. Understood?”

Ginny nods, lips tight. Gwenog pats her shoulder and strides away. The door shuts behind her and Ginny does her best to keep her tears at bay. She understands Gwenog’s desire to keep a peaceful environment, but it only seems to be making things worse. She sits there for a few more moments, gathers herself and her belongings, and strides out of the stadium locker rooms.

As she makes her way towards the stadium exit, she sees the strangest sight. Her brothers, Ron, Fred, and George all chatting up with Harry Potter, Puddlemore’s seeker. Ron’s ears are a bit red and Fred and George are high fiving as Harry laughs. She is tempted to back into the locker room until Potter leaves but before she could even turn around Fred spots her. “Gin!”

She stops in her tracks and puts on a thin-lipped smile, and she knows her brothers can see right through it. Fred and George approach her, but Ron, for some unforeseen reason, stays behind to keep chatting it up with Potter. “You were bloody fantastic,” George tells her, messing her hair. “One hundred points and ten assists!”

“Absolutely mad,” Fred adds, patting her back. “A shame your seeker is an idiot.”

Ginny snorts, but appreciatively. “Yeah, tell me about it. But I can’t go to practice tomorrow and I’m facing possible suspension for stating that obvious fact.”

“You’re serious?” asks Fred. “That’s rubbish.”

“You alright, Gin?” George questions, sensing her frustration.

She shrugs. “I just want to get out of here, honestly.”

“Alright, let’s grab fanboy Ronald over there,” Fred chuckles as they turn to walk towards Ron and the Puddlemore seeker, who seem to be laughing together. “We’ll apparate back to the Burrow for a bit, yeah? Dad wants to hear about the game.”

Ginny nods, marching forward towards her other brother. As she approaches, Harry Potter looks away from Ron and straight at Ginny, offering her a somewhat hesitant smile. Once close enough he says, “Hey, Ginny, right? I just wanted to tell you, you were brilliant out there, and-”

“Thanks,” she answers curtly, stealing the shortest of glances at his fallen smile before she shoves Ron and says, “C’mon, let’s go,” as she walks past him further towards the exit.

She crosses her arms and waits, staring away from her brothers and her opponent, when she hears the twins approach Harry and slap him on the back. “Sorry about her,” George apologizes. “She’s got a bit of a temper on her, that one.”

“And an awful competitive streak,” Fred chimes in.

“And too much pride,” adds George. “Isn’t that right, Gin?”

Without facing them, she sticks up her middle finger behind her back. All four boys laugh and she rolls her eyes, tapping her foot impatiently.

She listens as George, Fred, and Ron each say goodbye to Potter, hears him quickly mention her name once, and the conversation ending with something about a time tomorrow.

Once they reach her, Fred throws an arm around her. “Alright, miss brat, let’s get you home and fed so you could shrink back down a bit.”

Without responding, they all grab each other and apparate back to the Burrow. When they land and shake off the feeling of it, Ginny asks them, “What was that about tomorrow at eight?”

“Well if you hadn’t been so rude maybe you’d know, hm?” Ron comments, clearly annoyed as they walk down the path to the back door.

“We invited Potter to visit Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes,” Fred tells her, ignoring Ron’s attitude. “And he invited us to all get drinks afterward.”

“He was going to ask you to join as well,” George informs her. “So he passed along the message to us. Said the invitation was open for you, if you wanted, although we insisted upon excluding you.”

“Insisted,” Fred repeats, smiling.

“I’ll pass,” Ginny says, undoing her braid as they walk.

Ron groans. “What’s your deal? Didn’t you used to be in love with him or something?”’

“No,” Ginny responds, narrowing her eyes at him.

“Gin, it’s us! You don’t have to lie,” Fred assures her. “We all remember your exclusive Potter commentary before you made the reserves two years ago.”

“You practically had his name doodled in your books.”

“Surprised you didn’t magically stick his poster to your ceiling.”

Ginny scoffs at them. Although she knows they aren’t wrong. And as mad as she is at Romilda, part of her doesn’t even blame her for ogling Potter. She has been attracted to him since the moment she first saw him in the Prophet when he made Puddlemore. And of course, she knew who he was before that, being James and Lily Potter’s son. But she doesn’t want to make a fool of herself in front of him again like she did the very first time she introduced herself her first year in the league. She knows if she pays too much attention to him on the pitch, she’ll become almost as distracted as Romilda. And as much as she would thoroughly enjoy both admiring his technique and ogling his fit physique, her high-quality Quidditch performance is at a much higher priority than a fit bloke she’s had a fangirl crush on for multiple years.

Although she may have a rolled-up poster of him in her closet rather than plastered on her ceiling. That she opens up and glances at from time to time. Who’s really to say.

“Things change when someone becomes your competitor,” she shrugs, opening the back door that leads straight into the kitchen and going straight towards the fridge. She takes out the jug of pumpkin juice and pours some straight into her mouth, taking a big gulp. After she swallows, she turns back to her brothers, who are all sitting at the table. “Either way, Romilda is not even a fraction as talented as Katie was, and Potter tries to pull a Wronski Feint at least every other game because he’s so bleeding fast on his Firebolt that it works practically every time. He’s a pretty predictable player. She should have known.”

“The Potter commentary lives on!” exclaims George, raising a fist. “Keep it coming. What color are his eyes? When’s his birthday?”

Green. July 31st. “So I know one of his strategies. That’s my job. Study the enemy, you know? I just wish I could play seeker against him once to show them how it’s done, but I like being a chaser too much to even bother,” Ginny finishes before passes the pitcher of pumpkin juice to the boys.

“Right, just about Quidditch tactics, got it,” snorts Ron, leaning back in his chair.

“No matter how many fun facts you know about him, the offer still stands for tomorrow,” Fred reminds her. “We won’t tell him about your crush, promise.”

“I don’t have a crush,” she groans, trying to convince her brothers and herself. “This is what I get for being nice and inviting you guys to VIP access for my matches...And Ron, why are you even going to meet with Potter? You’re a Cannons fan! Fraternizing with the enemy, now?”

Ron shrugs, summoning a muffin from the counter and taking a bite out of it. “I don’t know,” he says, mouth full of muffin. “He seems like a cool bloke, when he’s not destroying the Cannons at least.”

“Just when he’s destroying the Harpies, your own sister’s team,” Ginny bites.

“Be careful, Ron, or she’ll bat bogey you to smithereens,” Fred warns his brother.

“No hexing in the kitchen,” says Arthur, finally making his appearance. He kisses Ginny on the temple and smooths her hair. “Your mother is asleep on the couch, so you better take it outside. No need to tickle a sleeping dragon, ay?”

[no-i-didnt-notice-im-short]

Family (Luciana’s POV)

“Wait so you are actually twins? He got all the looks, huh?”

She heard this way too many times for it to be a welcomed statement at this point. It delivered the meaning that whoever said this didn’t think she could be pretty or that her brother wasn’t smart to any extent. They should be one or the other but didn’t know which one was worse.

Luciana McClain thought she left that statement buried in the ashes of her destroyed house back in Cuba, but here, miles away in another country after an alien invasion she was faced with it again. Keith, the emo brooding Paladin, smiled at her handing her a drink while Lance slept on his hospital bed.

Apparently after the delayed arrival of the Red Lion to Lance, he sustained catastrophic injuries to his abdominal areas causing a lot of complications that sent him straight to surgery. He didn’t feel the severity of the pain until the adrenaline completely left his system and he collapsed the second he reached the Garrison base.

As one of the youngest second year residents at the local hospital in the area she lived in, planning to specialise in cardiothoracic surgery, she dreadfully understood every word the doctor said. She understood the sugar-coated version he said to her parents and could point out all the hidden messages between the lines. Veronica looked at her sister silently giving her a warning that she will demand to know the truth regardless of what the doctor told her.

“What?” She stared at Keith dumbfounded. She had just told him what she studied and her future plans in specialised surgery.

“I mean, Lance is very good-looking, even he knows it, and you are like crazy smart. I mean a freaking surgeon! That is everything compared to piloting, if I say so myself.”

Lance had admitted to his sister the second he stepped foot into the base, after all their hugs and introductions and private family alone time, that he was dating the Black paladin. She went wide eyed and hugged her brother even tighter than the first time, congratulating him for finally admitting that all the made up rivalry he would call her about at three in the morning was actually an oppressed crush on the boy.

“Piloting is very complicated.”

“Well, yeah. But we don’t cut people open and fix their insides all while taking into account the differences found in each person.”

“You seem very interested in medicine.” she said dryly.

She was trying so hard to put an effort into staying civil with the boy, but she hated having these conversations if the person was this close to her brother. From experience, it always ended badly.

“It’s a pretty interesting field, and Lance doesn’t talk about anything this serious if it wasn’t about a mission or a face mask, so I would love to hear your stories.”

“So you’re calling your boyfriend, my twin brother and best friend, dumb.”

“What?” Keith took a step back from Luciana, defensive. “Of course not.”

“Then why did you say that?”

“That I am interested in medicine?”

“That He got all the looks and that you can’t believe that we are twins.” She took a step forward the more he took a step back. “That Lance doesn’t talk about anything interesting. Did you ever ask him about his interests?”

Keith opened his mouth to answer but Luciana cut him off.

“Of course not. You wanna know how I know? You called him boring. You called him dumb. If you actually asked him you would know that he was offered a full scholarship to get into Biochemistry or Pharmacy. He knows the complexity of chemical compounds and what makes up a medicine better than a third year pharmacist. You would know that he has been experimenting ever since he was a kid and that the first thing he had ever asked for, ever, was a set of lab apparatus’.

“He, unfortunately, also read too much for his own good that he fantasized about space for as long as he could read. He read about where he could find the best Piloting schools and studied for the entrance exam like it was boot camp for two months to be prepared for the advanced classes’ finals without actually attending their classes to get another scholarship as to not hurt our parents financially. He thought about the good of the whole family before making any decisions and you have the audacity of implying that he is boring or dumb?”

Keith stared at her wide eyed. Suffocating silence save for the beeping of the heart monitor hooked onto Lance indicating that he is alive and well and on earth. She almost felt bad for Keith but quickly stopped herself. If she didn’t set some things straight now, no one will. He needed to know more about Lance and that whatever the idea or persona he chose to hold as a mask was just that, a mask. He was much more complex than that. He had feelings, sometimes too much, and he overthinks about the tiniest of gestures and words that it was easy for him to get hurt. But when it was easy for you to get hurt because you learn to hide, to not attract attention onto yourself, to protect yourself from the prying eyes whether it be a boyfriend, a sister or a parent.

It took her years to perfect her ‘Lance Language’ and she was not about to sit and watch her brother’s relationship get wrecked, again, simply because his boyfriend didn’t take time out of his day to actually put some effort into getting to know him.

“Luci…” A small low voice came out from the other side of the room, next to the beeping sound. Lance. “Don’t grill my boyfriend when i am asleep. Wait for me to be conscious to defend him.”

All the pent up tension in her muscles melted at the sound of her brother’s voice. She fast walked to his side and held his hand. Her thumb massaging his knuckles. His abnormally pallor face looked at her with half-lidded ocean blue eyes, another feature they both shared. His scarred right eyebrow raised while pointing at Keith with his eyes.

Code: Don’t talk to my boyfriend like that, I actually care about him.

Her face softened tenfold and she smiled at him.

Code: I love you and i don’t care. I will set my power over him.

“Wait… twin telepathy is a real thing?” Keith’s wobbly voice sent both the siblings into a fit of laughter. Painfully so in Lance’s case.

“Guess you’ll never know, Mullet.” Lance looked at his boyfriend, eyes filled with love and admiration. He held his hand to the other male, urging him to take it. Keith didn’t disappoint.

“Dr. McClain.” Keith started looking at her. “I love your brother and i swear to you that i will put 120% of my efforts into making sure he is loved, healthy and appreciated.”

She smiled at him and made her way to leave. Maybe by some space miracle, this relationship would be different. She already asked Shiro about Keith and shared her fears onto the older ex-Paladin. He assured her that if Keith was given a warning about something, he will do more than just fix it. He would perfect it; Apparently it was something he learned at the Home.

Even thought she was assured he was different, this was still her brother.

“Oh, and Dr. McClain.” She turned to Keith right before leaving the room to give them some privacy. “Lance didn’t get all the looks, i mean he is quite beautiful… But so are you. Please don’t take it like that... i am horrible with words and your beauty is exactly like how Lance described to me and I am so sorry for all the misunderstandings.”

She hugged Keith and thanked him before leaving.

Veronica // Krolia