#for the lives of 3 boys dead

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

now THIS is about to get messy so uh strap in frl

Breathin' in, breathin' out/ How you been? You settled down?/ You feelin' right? You feelin' proud/How are your kids? Where are they now?

Soda, Pony, Two-Bit, Steve. They're all Darry has left. And he's painfully aware of it. How could he not. Is he proud? Fuck no.

You build a boat, you build a life/You lose your friends, you lose your wife/ You settle in to routine/ Where are you? What does it mean?

Darry fought everyday for those boys. To build a life boat. To send Pony to college and raise up Soda with all the love their parents did. To keep Dally from himself, to keep Johnny from a family that would never love him. For Steve and Two-Bit trying to be a family they didn't have. But in the end it means nothing. Dallas is dead. Johnny is gone. Some days the only thing keeping Darry from giving it all up is routine.

If I get too close/ And I'm not how you hoped/ Forgive my northern attitude/ Oh, I was raised out in the cold/ If the sun don't rise/ 'Til the summertime/ Forgive my northern attitude/ Oh, I was raised on little light

And on the worst nights Darry can picture Dallas. Dallas with his long blonde hair and Winston cigarettes. Dallas who was raised north in a city that turned him hard and cold and a father that raised him on no love at all. But Dally who, when you caught him in the right light, had too much love then he knew what to do with.

You're gettin' lost, you're gettin' high/ All alone, late in life/ Scared to live, scared to die

And Darry can see him clearly. He hid behind a reputation the world ground into him but he was just a boy. In the end, Dallas' too much love would kill him.

You build a boat, you build a life/ You lose your kids, you lose your wife/ You settle down, you're feeling lost

Darry fought. He fought and fought but in the end he lost Dallas. And he lost Johnny. And goddammit he almost lost Ponyboy too.

If you get too close/ And I'm not how you hoped/ Forgive my northern attitude/ Oh, I was raised out in the cold/ If the sun don't shine/ 'Til the summertime/ Forgive my northern attitude/ Oh, I was raised on little light

When he closes his eyes sometimes Johnny's face floats up in front of him. It is always sudden and unexpected. Johnny who lived his life scared to death he wasn't good enough for anyone. Who was raised on the idea that love and pain are one and the same. Who was just as likely to say sorry as he was to say anything else. Johnny out in the cold how many nights when Darry should have found him and brought him home.

But then he opens his eyes and Ponyboy still has those dull cut hacks from Johnny's switchblade in his hair and he looks at Pony and Pony falls into him. They're thinking the same thing. They won't talk about it.

[heartorbit]

just how can i protect your smile?

[pettyprocrastination]

whoever this beloved anon was I am so touched by your kindness! You definitely didn’t have to do this but I am so happy you enjoy this idea and I will happily expand upon it for you!

this is just a collection of word vomit bullet points for the time being but I will happily answer any and all questions about this pair!!

warnings: violence, angst, child death (Sarah Miller), foul language, the same warnings that apply to tlou, reader is Sarah's mom and described as having similar features to her. 

So the general Idea is that you and Joel are happily married before the outbreak. 

You had been Sarah's mother, his high school sweetheart he got pregnant when neither of you were old enough to have any reaction to the pregnancy test other than a fucking panic attack in one another’s arms. but you made it work 

you both worked but made time for one another and your sweet girl, going to museums every other weekend and joel insisting on swooping you off for a date every now and then 

nothing special. He knows you’re more of a diner gal than anything too fancy that makes you both feel out of place. 

On his birthday in 2003, you had planned to tell him that you were pregnant again. But the memories of your own fears of motherhood from all those years ago begin to swirl through your head again and you get cold feel. deciding to tell him the morning after

it is his birthday afterall, you want to focus on him. 

but when you’re woken up in the middle of the night because tommy needs to get bailed out, Joel kisses you sweetly one last time before promising he’ll be back and you can’t shake the feeling that something bad is happening. 

its you that shakes sarah awake that night. shouting at her to put on her shoes when she’s still rubbing the sleep from her eyes because you’ve been listening to the radio for the past two hours, calling joel again and again and again praying for him to fucking pick up but to no avail. 

Sarah, bless your little girl’s bleeding heart is the one who insists you check on the adler’s against your better suspicions and when you find the eldest looming over her daughter, blood and sinew dripping from her mouth, you grab your daughter hand and burst into a full sprint until something slams into your back and sends you tumbling onto their front lawn

its how joel finds you, struggling to keep the once sweet old woman, whose now nothing more than dead eyes and gnashing teeth straining to snap at your pulse point as you push against her while sarah shrieks before your husband runs forward and cracks her skull with a wrench. 

there’s hardly a moment of pause, just enough for him to pull you up and into his arms before he’s ushering you both into the car with an urgency. 

when the truck crashes, you get separated from them. Perhaps at Tommy’s side when the flames rise and create a wall, separating you from your husband, or maybe pulled into the mob of chaos when trying to escape from those already infected-

all joel knows is that you promise you’ll find him: just get sarah to safety and you’ll meet him at the river

Poor thing is already so frightened, held in her father’s arms with tears streaming down her face insisting they can’t leave you they just can’t but her father kisses her forehead and reassures her its going to be okay 

“we just need to be brave, okay babygirl? Your mama’s real tough, she’s gonna be alright.” 

he isn’t sure if he’s saying it to his daughter or himself. 

but when he comes to the river you aren’t there. Only a soldier who points a gun at the scared little girl in his arms and then he loses everything

its when the light is gone from his daughter’s eyes that he realizes. His voice cracked and raw from sobbing that he looks around to see his brother with drawn in shoulders and tears in his eyes but his wife is nowhere to be found. 

Tommy says you got lost in the chaos. Everything was so loud, so sudden that he turned around and suddenly you weren’t there. 

Joel wants to go back but its Tommy that stops him, that dulls the red in his vision to a sad faded pink because his brother points at the orange horizon not too far from them, so much of the city is already in flames. 

“We’re gonna find her, but not there.” 

So Joel searches. for the first year spent in the world post-outbreak its all he did. 

He became a smuggler because of it. 

Information came at a price and he needed to be able to fucking pay it, whether it be in blood or ration cards. He was willing to do anything to find you or any thin thread that lead your way. 

But it’s Tommy that asks him to give up. Not in those words of course. 

The youngest Miller knows better than to say something so cruel that would make his brother, the only person he has in this world turn on him. 

But his voice is worried when he asks him one night in Boston when he hasn’t even had the chance to wash the blood from his knuckles 

“You think she would have wanted this for you?” 

the fight that followed his words was brutal. Vicious insults and scarred fists slamming against each brother until they're both too tired and bloody to continue. Each leaning against a wall for support and Tommy’s wavering voice breaking the silence. 

“I don’t know where she is, Joel. But I do know you're gonna get yourself killed if you keep lookin’ for her.” 

All he can do is nod. 

It’s a few days later when he meets Tess. Who has heard plenty of stories about the elder miller’s brutality and wants him to put that muscle to good use for some extra profit. 

It begins his new life. One that empty and cold but one he can live. 

Until of course, Ellie comes along. The sweet and incredibly opinionated girl that makes him become something akin to the man he thought died twenty years ago. 

its when he’s traveling with Ellie, that it happens. When a warm familiarity has settled between the two because so much blood and pain has been shared he can’t help but see her as something close, something bright even though all he can force himself to utter in her reference is “cargo” 

when theyre traveling through the woods as Ellie chatters away, probing his memory about a movie that may or may not have existed thirty years ago because her descriptions of the plot are incredibly odd he hears a voice shout for them to stop and finds himself staring at a man- no, a boy- pointing a gun at them. 

Ellie stills, but Joel can see enough to know that from the lanky figure and dimpled face that he’s young. Maybe twenty, twenty-two at the oldest, but his eyes dart from Joel to Ellie with a pinprick of fear that allows Joel the time to charge forward and slam him to the ground before wrestling the gun from his hands. 

He has enough to time to tuck it under the stranger’s chin before he hears the sound of the safety being turned off and finds himself looking up and seeing a gun just inches from his face. 

Joel’s head whips around when Ellie’s voice calls out his name in fear, he turns to see another stranger holding her a gun point, shoulders drawn back and a shadow cast over their face by the had obstructing their identity. 

“You hurt one of mine, I hurt one of yours. That a fair deal?” 

Its takes him a moment to recognize you. It’s been so long since he’s heard your voice, the sweet tease when you would poke at him each time he woke up late despite the fact that you reminded him to set his alarm the night before, the times you’d chide him with a harsh “Joel Miller!” whispered in public anytime he was able to grab you a bit too passionately to be appropriate in public but the laughter in your voice let him know you were never truly mad at him. You didn’t know how to be. 

But that sweetness is buried under a cold rasp that cuts through the air as you point a rifle at the scared little girl in front of you.

“You think I won’t?” You’re older now, skin covered in scars from a life he didn’t know you got the chance to live and your eyes are cold as they regard your husband. “Put the gun down and get the fuck off of him, I won’t repeat myself.” 

Joel mumbles your name in awe. The woman he loved, the woman he mourned the one he fought so hard to find stands before him like some sort of hallucination and suddenly the world feels like its spinning until you bark orders at him again. 

“You’ve got five seconds Joel, make a fucking choice before I make it for you.” 

He looks down and realizes the boy under him, the one with the bleeding nose and snarling face has your eyes and his dimples. 

“One.” 

The one above him has Sarah’s hair. Soft brown curls that shine under the sun. 

“Two”

Wait. No, they both do.

“Three.” 

Twins. Jesus fucking Christ you had twins. 

“Four.” 

Joel holds the rifle up above his head and the one boy standing snatches it from his grasp, tossing it to the ground and kicking it far from his reach. He slowly stands, allowing your son- dear god your son- to scramble to his feet. 

Your voice softens just for a moment. “You okay, Duke?” 

Blood stains the bottom half of his face from where Joel slammed his fist into the boy’s nose just moments before, but he nods nonetheless. 

Now, they both stand on one side of you and he can see the resemblance clear as day the same way he would whenever Sarah was by your side.

When you order him to hand over his bag, he does so without question before telling Ellie to do the same. 

She watches him with wide eyes, her hands still up in the air but gaping at her companion as if he had grown a second head. 

“Joel!” “Just do it, alright?”

He doesn’t miss the way you watch their interaction with narrowed eyes until she tosses her bag to you and you slowly lower your gun. 

“Now, you want to tell me what the fuck you think you’re doin’ at my home?” 

[not-the-living-ghost]

i am such a sucker for red and blue payneland pencil fanart you guys have no idea

[unkillable-gays]

Was...was possessed!Crystal just on the subway with a bag full of spare clothes? Where does she get her outfits from?!

Also she clearly has her phone, why can't she just look through her texts or her social media for info about her life?

I know Edwin and Crystal's hostility is played for laughs, but, as a fellow people pleaser, it makes me feel sorry for Charles! 😬 On the other hand, it's kind of indicative of how solid he and Edwin are, that he would invite Crystal to join them KNOWING Edwin would hate it, and not be worried about Edwin getting seriously upset with him, or leaving.

Ahhh i just realized why Kassius' American accent sounds so familiar! Her voice really reminds me of Vanessa Hudgens, lol 😅 (listen...some of us were adolescent yet-to-be-realized lesbians when HSM and Thunderbirds came out.)

No one cuts Crystal ANY slack!!! And I'm including Crystal herself in that statement. (Okay, okay, Charles does. And we love him for it.) Like, she's been seriously violated by her ex, AND the nature of her powers means it's commonplace for her to relive other people's trauma in the first person. AND she has neglectful parents?! How can she blame herself for turning out a little rotten, she's literally a teenager, a baby!!! 😭😭😭

I know I've said it before, and I DO love Edwin, but he is such a dick!!! And if I encountered him in person I'd probably fight him for being mean to Crystal, ngl. She's all alone and scared and traumatized! Yes he went to hell, but she just got exorcized YESTERDAY!

Jenny's pep talk was kinda real, though.

[arthursfuckinghat]

Arthur and the gang 𑁦𐂂𑁦 The Heartlands

[zolakin]

[nocturnalnewsiestrash]

Okay guys so I know we all lightly tease Charles for seemingly never actually thinking through any of the emotions he ever has but it occurred to me, what if he has alexithymia?!? Between his very obvious ADHD and his apparent lack of ever addressing how he feels, alexithymia would explain a lot actually. I mean even in hell he's saying he needs more time to process how he feels and basically wants to NOT have to think about it in the moment on the stairs. Like that boy has alexithymia. He needs his reflective time Edwin, give him time.

Also also like he never wants to talk about himself, only address other's needs and feelings which is just so alexithymia?? I mean I know it's partly his trauma response but also it's such an alexithymia personality trait too. Alexithymia makes every choice he makes make sooooo much more sense. That and the adhd impulsivity, but it didn't really feel like it was the whole picture. Alexithymia was the missing key

[ad-astra-per-aspera-1389]

I started watching dead boy detectives and I just finished episode 5, and Edwin's hand on his chest after Charles hugs him, followed by "I wasn't talking about you" UM?!

[magic-stuff-and-books]

I’m not even surprised that Netflix canceled Dead Boy Detectives at this point. I’m just extremely disappointed.

[thecrowinacrown]

So I'm starting the Dead Boy Detectives

I've decided to write what i know about every show before i watch it, just because I'm oftenly veeery wrong or surprisingly right about some things I've accidentally seen outside on tumblr, which makes it funny. So:

• There's an asian girl with style✨️

• She's into astrology?..something like that?

• Or is it exorcism?

• She's giving Draculaura from the live action is a good way

• There's two boys and i guess they are 👉👈dating?

• Please tell me they are dating and i dont need to watch them go through a 600-6000 years of slow burn...

• Or maybe they are not in love! i just assumed cause they are main characters and i saw 1 (one) fanart of them kissing

• One of them is Charles

• (i have no idea where that name came from i hope it really is his name or I'm going crazy because of all of the other fictional Charles' in my life)

• I think one of them is going to be my favourite, the more polite one

• Idk if there's a polite one I'm telling from the looks

• I also don't remember how they look except for one(?) Is wearing a blazer?

• There's must be a 4th character but idk who

• Most important: it's a Neil Gaiman show. Which is a seal of quality.

• Gay

• For the same reason.

• I have zero idea what this show is actually about and why it's called like that I'm just watching it because of Neil Gaiman to be honest

• THERE'RE ANIMATED SEQUENCES

• I learned that just today when i saw a short on YouTube and i REALLY THOUGHT IT WAS FROM THE TANGLED SERIES

• Until the narrator started swearing

• So there's some old lady that never dies but also ages like Madame Gothel from Rapunzel

• And the narrator is some guy

• Idk

• Neil Gaiman really loves immortal characters doesn't he

• And i don't know aaaany other characters

• They do Magic???

Let's begin :))

UPDATE: 1. i just read the show description and omg THEY ARE GHOSTS??? I had no idea lmao

2. He IS Charles but what's worse the other one is named EDWIN.

HE'S ED.

TOO MANY EDS IN MY LIFE

(just from the name maybe HE is going to be my favourite) (or the girl who knows)

(Thanks god he's not Edward at least)

[ahopefulbromantic]

I just realized the most tragic thing - that I cannot gush about 31st October being Dziady / Forefathers' Eve because it's a Polish thing and none of my mutuals know what it is and no really good translation of the dramatic works exists to have them read it :(((

It's like a traditional Polish Halloween and nowadays it's mainly known from Adam Mickiewicz's (he's to Poland what Shakespeare is to England) 4-part drama centered around it. It follows a tortured poet (my blorbo, I love him) during the time Poland was partitioned and erased from the maps, its people oppressed but always fighting back. It is one of the most important and culturally significant Polish works ever created. And it's got, like so many themes, so many themes you guys. It's one of my favorite works ever one of my all-time dreams is to play Konrad, a protag from part 3.

So if anyone does know it or is interested in finding out more please please please message me or drop an ask I'd love to infodump!!!

[lefttoesucker]

Some more cowboy sketches because art block is hitting and I can't force myself to make any actual drawing 🤠

[not-the-living-ghost]

of course i get home from a five hour plane ride and the first thing i do is go on tumblr to start blogging about dead boy detectives

[courtillyy]

gem and lizzie made somewhat of an informal widows alliance and i am Here for it

[ziggyzagzagzig]

the horrors