#for the after effects of the procedure
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#Cortisone injection went fine!#Thanks everyone for sending pet pics and Pedro gifs 🥹#I’ve been feeling very baby so they are much appreciated#on the couch now with muscle relaxers and#my microwaveable manatee#for the after effects of the procedure#and cramps#and the fact that I just fell partway down my stairs#😅#now I just need Din or Frankie or Marcus#to come and baby me 🥺#Health stuff
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RAINBOW STICKS
#rainbow#colors#procedural#generative#loop#motion#gif art#seamless#after effects#trapcode#tao#trapcodeTAO#red giant#visuals#animate#animated#sticks#hypnotic
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hateful moment for sure but botox just looks so bad. not even the botched ones, the average botox result is still off-putting and yet so boring. I see women who literally look alike because they've paralyzed their foreheads/eye area and can only mildly go :) at their own kids playing around. rhinoplasty has uncomfortable racist implications and 'feminization' surgeries raise unpleasant questions but botox itself is just generally sinister yet so fucking BLAND to look at
#also at least rhinoplasty somewhat does have a pull on me as a woman with a very strong profile - I don't /want/ it#but the frequency with which im given images of before/after procedures#does have an effect#but seeing botox - especially irl - is still as uninviting as ever
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kunikida plushie quite literally the reason yesterday wasn't the worst day of my life LMAO
#I'M FINE BTW NOW JUST feel like im in some alternate dimension oguhghhh#THE Stabbing wasn't like an attack btw just a Normal Medical procedure gone wrong </3#nothing like almost feinting in public twice after watching someone commit medical malpractice on ur family YIPEE /lh#sibling is fine btw but Man Stressful#got light headed after and nearly feinted in a public place and completely lost my visions (it was just colors and dark swirls) and had to-#grab onto my sibling to lead me back to the car lolzz#it wasn't a Walmart either just just was Funnier to me#kite draws#kite's ocs#kitson alkaid#koi ursae#I need to draw these two more they're my everything ........#me: wants ppl to know abt my ocs - also me: never posts ocs :manstandingemoji:#still have a migraine#and fully feeling effects of it all today which sucks suhhhghhghghg#this is like being hungover but without the fun LMAO#kunikida plushie and kunikida + Dazai mochis were waiting for me when I got home though#so thats cool#converting my sister into a second hand Kunikida fan btw#she just calls him 'Ur Guy' though cuz she doesn't remember his names
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mouth is aching after the removal of the lower wisdom teeth... unlike after the upper ones'. i'm glad that's over with though. wahoo!!!! *ouch*
#also. i've seen some people online say that they got high due to the anesthetic injection during the wisdom teeth removal#which made me a bit nervous because oh god what if i said something weird after the procedure? i would end myself right there#but no literally feeling no side effects. how much did they inject you with!?!?!?!?#or maybe i'm mixing things up somehow. whatever#quacks
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Especially when people decide for a woman that because of course she'll change her mind, or one day she'll have a husband and he'll want and deserve babies, or because her parents will want and deserve grandchildren, she shouldn't be able to make decisions about her own body that will disrupt these plans that aren't her own.
AKA when women with debilitating reproductive system disorders want a treatment that has an effect on fertility (because it's the only one left they haven't already tried and they are sick of "living" in constant agony if there's even a chance of an alternative) but doctors refuse. Because, as my different doctors put it: "Your fertility is our number one priority, regardless of what you want" and "If you were my pretty wife, I'd want you to have my children".
stop telling your teenage daughters who say they don't want kids that they'll change their mind
#(after over 10 years of fighting and multiple other surgeries and medical trials I had my procedure and I've been GREAT for the last decade)#(no regrets. ZERO. at least not from what I could control)#(the delay in effective treatment and the severe emotional trauma from the medical paternalism sure sucked though)
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procgen graphics using fractal noise and 3D
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sometimes it’s like why can’t surgery be something i wish on a star for one night and it is granted and i wake up no tits no uterus.
#existential fear i guess of seeing/being friends with trans people who are farther in their medical transition talking about being post op#longer than pre op#and that’s so so beautiful for them#but sometimes i fear ill have known who i was for so long#and idk. not get there fast enough to have the time to enjoy it#i’m good at coping with my body but i remember how good it felt when i started hrt and saw effects#and how much it just. relieved this weight i could’ve never calculated earlier. every day. all the time.#and i know the same will probably happen after the procedures. i’m just worried i won’t get to enjoy that body for very long#maybe i am sometimes saddened by how much of my youth or ‘prime’ will or has been marked by prolonged discomfort and shit#i worry i’ll be sad for more of my life than any other feeling i guess is the main core
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Happy Smile Pro: Painless and Effective Teeth Whitening for a Radiant Smile
Happy Smile Pro: Painless And Effective Teeth Whitening For A Radiant Smile BUY A NEW HEALTHY AND EFFECTIVE TEETH FOR A HEALTHY LIFE......................
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#at home teeth whitening#best teeth whitening#crown lengthening for gummy smile#effective & painless teeth#healthy smile#hollywood smile#instant whitening paint for teeth#natural teeth whitening#painless teeth whitening#professional teeth whitening#professional teeth whitening before and after#sensitive teeth whitening#smile makeover#teeth cleaning#teeth whitening#teeth whitening at home#teeth whitening hacks#teeth whitening kit#teeth whitening kits#teeth whitening pen#teeth whitening procedure#teeth whitening products#teeth whitening strips#teeth whitening tips#teeth whitening treatment#tooth whitening#white teeth#whitening#whitening teeth#whitening teeth at home
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How Long Do Dental Implants Last? A Comprehensive Guide to Longevity and Maintenance
Dental implants have become a popular and reliable solution for replacing missing teeth, thanks to their durability and natural appearance. However, one of the most common questions people have about dental implants is: “How long do they last?” Understanding the lifespan of dental implants and how to properly care for them can help you make an informed decision about your oral health. Here’s a comprehensive guide to the longevity and maintenance of dental implants.
Lifespan of Dental Implants
Dental implants are designed to be a long-term solution for missing teeth. With proper care, implants can last for several decades, and in many cases, they can last a lifetime. The key factors that influence the lifespan of dental implants include:
1. Quality of the Implant
The quality of the implant itself plays a crucial role in its longevity. Implants made from high-grade titanium are known for their durability and biocompatibility. Choosing a reputable brand and high-quality materials can contribute to the implant’s long-term success.
2. Skill of the Dentist
The expertise of the dental professional who performs the implant procedure is critical. An experienced dentist will ensure that the implant is placed correctly and that the surrounding bone and tissue are properly prepared. Proper placement and alignment are essential for the longevity of the implant.
3. Patient’s Oral Health
Your overall oral health significantly impacts the lifespan of dental implants. Patients with healthy gums and sufficient bone density are more likely to have successful and long-lasting implants. Conditions such as gum disease or bone loss can affect the stability and success of the implant.
4. Maintenance and Care
Regular maintenance and proper oral hygiene are vital for the longevity of dental implants. Implants require the same care as natural teeth, including daily brushing and flossing. Regular dental check-ups are also important to monitor the health of the implants and surrounding tissues.
How to Maintain Dental Implants
Proper maintenance is key to ensuring that your dental implants last as long as possible. Here are some tips for maintaining your implants:
1. Daily Oral Hygiene
Brushing and flossing are essential for keeping your dental implants and surrounding gums healthy. Use a soft-bristled toothbrush and non-abrasive toothpaste to clean your implants twice a day. Flossing helps remove food particles and plaque from around the implant and in between the surrounding teeth.
2. Regular Dental Check-ups
Visit your dentist regularly for check-ups and cleanings. Routine dental visits allow your dentist to monitor the health of your implants, perform professional cleanings, and address any potential issues before they become serious problems.
3. Avoid Hard or Sticky Foods
While dental implants are designed to withstand normal chewing forces, avoiding hard or sticky foods can help prolong their lifespan. Foods that are overly hard or sticky can potentially damage the implant or the restoration attached to it.
4. Quit Smoking
Smoking can negatively impact the healing process and increase the risk of implant failure. If you smoke, consider quitting to improve your overall oral health and the success rate of your dental implants.
5. Use a Mouthguard
If you grind your teeth or participate in contact sports, consider using a mouthguard to protect your dental implants and natural teeth from damage.
You can find the Best Dental Implant Treatment in Newtown and you will get many denstist.
The Role of Advanced Technology
Advancements in dental technology have greatly improved the success and longevity of dental implants. Techniques such as 3D imaging, computer-guided implant placement, and advanced materials contribute to more accurate and successful implant procedures. You can ask the question about - are Dental Implants worth the cost? On average, the total cost of a single dental implant can range from $3,000 to $4,500, including all components and procedures
Choosing the Right Dental Clinic
To ensure the longevity and success of your dental implants, it’s important to choose a reputable and experienced dental clinic. For those in Newtown and surrounding areas, Dr. Anuradha Bose Dental Clinic is recognized as the best dental clinic in Newtown. Dr. Anuradha Bose and her team offer expert care in dental implants, utilizing the latest technology and techniques to provide the best outcomes for their patients.
At Dr. Anuradha Bose Dental Clinic, you can expect personalized treatment plans, a commitment to excellence, and a focus on patient satisfaction. Whether you’re considering dental implants or need maintenance and care for existing implants, the clinic’s expertise ensures that you receive the highest quality of care.
You can also read: Top 10 Benefits of Dental Implants
Conclusion
Dental implants are a durable and effective solution for replacing missing teeth, with the potential to last for many years with proper care. By understanding the factors that influence the lifespan of dental implants and adhering to best practices for maintenance, you can enjoy the benefits of a beautiful, functional smile for a lifetime. For expert guidance and exceptional care, consider visiting Dr. Anuradha Bose Dental Clinic, the best dental clinic in Newtown, where you’ll receive top-notch care and support for all your dental implant needs. Embrace the longevity and reliability of dental implants and maintain your confident smile with expert care.
#How long do dental implants last?#Is a dental implant painful?#What is the meaning of dental implant?#Are dental implants good or bad?#Types of dental implants cost#Dental implants procedure#What are the 3 types of dental implants#Tooth implant side effects#Dental implants before and after#Single tooth implant cost#Full mouth dental implants cost#reasons not to get dental implants?#Dr. Anuradha Bose Dental Clinic
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"The first modern attempt at transferring a uterus from one human to another occurred at the turn of the millennium. But surgeons had to remove the organ, which had become necrotic, 99 days later. The first successful transplant was performed in 2011 — but even then, the recipient wasn’t immediately able to get pregnant and deliver a baby. It took three more years for the first person in the world with a transplanted uterus to give birth.
More than 70 such babies have been born globally in the decade since. “It’s a complete new world,” said Giuliano Testa, chief of abdominal transplant at Baylor University Medical Center.
Almost a third of those babies — 22 and counting — have been born in Dallas at Baylor. On Thursday, Testa and his team published a major cohort study in JAMA analyzing the results from the program’s first 20 patients. All women were of reproductive age and had no uterus (most having been born without one), but had at least one functioning ovary. Most of the uteri came from living donors, but two came from deceased donors.
Fourteen women had successful transplants, all of whom were able to have at least one baby.
“That success rate is extraordinary, and I want that to get out there,” said Liza Johannesson, the medical director of uterus transplants at Baylor, who works with Testa and co-authored the study. “We want this to be an option for all women out there that need it.”
Six patients had transplant failures, all within two weeks of the procedure. Part of the problem may have been a learning curve: The study initially included only 10 patients, and five of the six with failed transplants were in that first group. These were “technical” failures, Testa said, involving aspects of the surgery such as how surgeons connected the organ’s blood vessels, what material was used for sutures, and selecting a uterus that would work well in a transplant.
The team saw only one transplant fail in the second group of 10 people, the researchers said. All 20 transplants took place between September 2016 and August 2019.
Only one other cohort study has previously been published on uterus transplants, in 2022. A Swedish team, which included Johannesson before she moved to Baylor, performed seven successful transplants out of nine attempts. Six women, including the first transplant recipient to ever deliver a baby back in 2014, gave birth.
“It’s hard to extract data from that, because they were the first ones that did it,” Johannesson said. “This is the first time we can actually see the safety and efficacy of this procedure properly.”
So far, the signs are good: High success rates for transplants and live births, safe and healthy children so far, and early signs that immunosuppressants — typically given to transplant recipients so their bodies don’t reject the new organ — may not cause long-term harm, the researchers said. (The uterine transplants are removed after recipients no longer need them to deliver children.) And the Baylor team has figured out how to identify the right uterus for transfer: It should be from a donor who has had a baby before, is premenopausal, and, of course, who matches the blood type of the recipient, Testa said...
“They’ve really embraced the idea of practicing improvement as you go along, to understand how to make this safer or more effective. And that’s reflected in the results,” said Jessica Walter, an assistant professor of reproductive endocrinology and infertility at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine, who co-authored an editorial on the research in JAMA...
Walter was a skeptic herself when she first learned about uterine transplants. The procedure seemed invasive and complicated. But she did her fellowship training at Penn Medicine, home to one of just four programs in the U.S. doing uterine transplants.
“The firsts — the first time the patient received a transplant, the first time she got her period after the transplant, the positive pregnancy test,” Walter said. “Immersing myself in the science, the patients, the practitioners, and researchers — it really changed my opinion that this is science, and this is an innovation like anything else.” ...
Many transgender women are hopeful that uterine transplants might someday be available for them, but it’s likely a far-off possibility. Scientists need to rewind and do animal studies on how a uterus might fare in a different “hormonal milieu” before doing any clinical trials of the procedure with trans people, Wagner said.
Among cisgender women, more long-term research is still needed on the donors, recipients, and the children they have, experts said.
“We want other centers to start up,” Johannesson said. “Our main goal is to publish all of our data, as much as we can.”"
-via Stat, August 16, 2024
#infertility#uterus#organ transplant#reproductive health#public health#medical news#childbirth#good news#hope#pregnancy#cw pregnancy
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Procedural Revolvotronᵀᴹ new output in colorama
#motion#gif art#procedural#rainbow#colors#neon#revolving#motion design#after effects#trapcodeTAO#trapcode#loop#animated#animation#seamless#visuals
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Lip Fillers Treatment In Hyderabad
#Lip augmentation#Lip injections#Dermal fillers for lips#Lip enhancement procedures#Injectable lip treatments#Plump lips with fillers#Lip filler injections#Lip rejuvenation#Lip filler specialists#Lip filler before and after#Lip filler cost#Lip filler results#Non-surgical lip enhancement#Natural-looking lip fillers#Lip augmentation trends#Cosmetic lip injections#Hyaluronic acid lip fillers#Lip contouring with fillers#Lip filler recovery#Lip filler safety#Lip filler consultations#Lip filler techniques#Lip filler side effects#Lip filler alternatives#Lip plumping treatments
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TESA Procedure: Unraveling Success Rates, Side Effects
TESA, or Testicular Sperm Aspiration, is a surgical procedure designed to retrieve sperm directly from the testicles. This minimally invasive outpatient procedure involves inserting a fine needle into the testicles to extract sperm from microscopic tubes known as seminiferous tubules.
Typically conducted under local anesthesia, TESA offers a more comfortable experience for patients by eliminating the need for incisions. This not only reduces discomfort during the procedure but also contributes to a shorter recovery time compared to traditional surgical methods. TESA is a crucial option for individuals seeking fertility treatments, providing a specialized approach to sperm retrieval that can be particularly beneficial in certain infertility cases.
#TESA#TESA PRocedure#TESA Procedure Cost#TESA Procedure Side Effects#TESA Success Rate#IVF#IVF Treatment#Precautions after TESA Procedure
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just sent in an assignment exactly 1:50 minutes before it was due oh my god i can feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins
#went off my adhd meds during the extended weekend cause i spent it at a uni sports competition#which means during the day i watched matches and cheered for my uni and during the night i got drunk and danced badly to music i don't like#from what i've read the meds would mess up my ability to tell when i need to stop drinking and yeah i would nawt have liked that#cause i actually pride myself in the fac that while i do get drunk and have fun i always know when to stop#like i've never in my life puked from alcohol and i almost never have hangovers the day after drinking#anyway i went off my meds and only started taking it again today so no effects yet the adhd is back full force#and honestly i wasn't too worried about this assignment cause i had to choose and comment on 3 civil law cases#each dealing with different things regarding evidence: one borrowed evidence one procuration of evidence determined by the judge#and one inversion of the onus of the evidence (with the catch of it not being a consumer relationship it had to be regulated by cpc not cdc#i had already separated each of these so i'd only have to write about them which would take what? 1 hour max?#so i started writing 21:30 pretty late considering i had almost the whole day to do it but still had a reasonable amount of time#however... as i started writing about the last one i was like hold on... and then realized i misunderstood the case and it wasn't applicabl#it was already like 22:20 by then so i scrambled to find a inversion of onus one but like ALL OF THEM ARE REGARDING CONSUMER RELATIONSHIPS!#i spent like an hour and 10 minutes trying to find one and i simply couldn't...#so i made do with a case where one part argued saying the relationship didn't fit the one described in cdc (consumer defense code)#and the judge said you can apply cdc but even if you couldn't you can apply the cpc (civil procedure code) so either way onus is inverted#and then i just pretended the whole argument was about the second point cause at that point i had like 15 min to write about it and send#did not proofread a single word idk if it's coherent or even correct but idc at least it was sent on time#and the other 2 parts are pretty well done so not too bad even if the last one is wrong#my post#anyway no classes tomorrow cause it's the day my uni was founded and they celebrate by cancelling everything so hooray
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LOVED YOU AT YOUR WORST - r.c series - TWO
pairings: ex!sweethearts; rafe x thornton!reader; rafe x sofia. chapter warnings: mentions of possible pregnancy, of abortion, of pregnancy risks & death. self-loathing. chapter one ┆ chapter three ┆ chapter four
You lied.
You didn’t take the tests the next day.
Or the next. You couldn’t. Every time you picked up one of the stupid boxes, your heart would drop to the pits of hell and your hands would start sweating. You’d shove it back in the drawer like it could disappear if you just ignored it hard enough.
Once you knew, you knew.
There was no more pretending as if nothing happened.
No more pretending like you didn't care that Rafe moved on like he didn’t just dump you, with no real closure and ran to the next girl he found.
Fuck, why did he have to look so happy that night? He got to be carefree, living his perfect little life with her, and you were there, sitting on the bathroom floor, too scared to even pee on a stick.
What if it was positive? Then what? The thought of seeing his name pop up on your phone after you blocked him, or worse, hearing her voice if she picked up...you’d rather die. He didn't deserve to know.
He didn't deserve anything from you anymore.
You started googling abortion clinics before you even touched the tests. You could afford it. That wasn’t even the issue.
You had more money than you knew what to do with. Your inheritance was just sitting there. You could book a flight tomorrow, pay for whatever procedure, whatever it took—fly out of state, out of the country, if you had to.
But that wasn’t the point. It has never been about the money. It was the overwhelming shame. The fear. The realization that Rafe might have left you, but he was still there, stuck in your head, in your body, in your fucking life. Even when he wasn’t.
He didn’t have to worry about any of this. He was most likely out on the boat, not even thinking about you. Not thinking about what he did to you.
And you— you were left with this. Sitting on a bathroom floor for hours a day, trying to figure out how you were supposed to make a decision that changed everything.
You started looking up clinics again, scrolling through the options, but your mind was barely even there. It was legal in North Carolina for now, but you read something about the 12-week ban they passed in June, and suddenly you were spiraling one more time, wondering how much time you even had.
Could you wait? Could you put it off like you’d been putting off the tests, like if you waited long enough, maybe the problem would just... disappear? Shit, wouldn’t that be easier?
You heard that voice in your head, the one that sounded like your mom, at least what you remembered from watching old videos.
It was depressing how life didn’t let you hold tightly to your memories sometimes. She always reminded you of the kind of person you were supposed to be. The type of girl who had her shit together. The type of girl who didn’t get herself into situations like this, in the first place.
But instead, you were the girl who lost everything—the life you were supposed to have—and somehow, you’d still found a way to screw up what was left.
You kept scrolling like you couldn’t stop.
One page led to another, and soon you weren’t just looking up clinics—you were looking up everything.
What happened during the procedure, how long it took, the side effects, the complications. You read horror stories about infections, about women who thought it was over and then bled for weeks, about people who changed their minds too late.
You even looked up what could happen if you didn’t get an abortion—what pregnancy could do to your body. And that was a whole other rabbit hole you didn’t need to go down. Your body changing, your hormones going insane. You thought about your boobs getting sore, your stomach stretching, the possibility of throwing up every morning, and it felt like your body was already betraying you. And then you read the serious stuff—gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, all these words you didn’t even know existed before that night. There was a minefield of things that could go wrong, things that would go wrong.
Complications. Risks. Dangers.
You read about women who almost died in labor. About miscarriages and stillbirths and the trauma of carrying a baby for months, only to lose it. You never even thought about that, how pregnancy wasn’t just this smooth, magical process people make it out to be. It was brutal. But you’d been the little sister, you never saw your mother go through it, or anyone for that matter.
Your younger cousin, Topper the bitching backstabber, had been born and raised in Los Angeles before he moved to Figure 8 when he was five.
You were terrified—not just of being pregnant, but of what it meant to stay pregnant. Would your body even handle it? You’d always lived off coffee and takeout half the time. An unreasonable amount of parties. Too many drinks some nights.
You weren’t exactly the picture of health. What if you weren’t strong enough? What if something went wrong, and you ended up in a hospital bed, alone, because Rafe sure as fuck wouldn’t be there. It was just you.
For a second there, you thought you might pass out.
You’d thrown your phone across the room, it hit the wall with a thud, but it didn’t help. The anxiety was still there, vibrating under your skin, making you want to scream. You glanced at the bathroom drawer again, where the pregnancy tests were hidden like some cursed thing.
Maybe you should’ve just taken one.
Rip off the bandaid.
The stupid phone rang, like was having fun pissing you off, vibrating on the floor where you’d thrown it. You stared at it for a second, debating if you should even pick it up. You didn’t feel like dealing with anyone, especially not whoever was about to ask something from you.
But it kept ringing, and of course, it was a number you recognized—Lily, one of the coordinators from your dad’s foundation. Shit. You forgot about the gala. Again. The one that was happening in two freaking days, the one you haven’t even thought about preparing for.
You swiped to answer, “Yeah?”
“Hey, I didn’t want to bother you, but we need to go over the final details for the gala,” She greeted you, sounding way too perky for how you were feeling. “I really need your input on the seating arrangements, and the auction items, and—”
It hit you just how ironic this was. You were sitting here, freaking out about being possibly pregnant, scrolling through nightmare stories about abortion and pregnancy complications, while Lily was talking about a fundraiser for children’s health. Kids. It felt like some twisted repulsive joke the universe was playing on you.
You blinked back into the conversation, realizing she still talking, and you hadn’t said a word. “Uh, yeah, sorry. I’ve been busy. Can you just handle it?” you muttered, feeling guilty but not enough to actually deal with any of it.
“I’ve already taken care of most things,” she said carefully, “but we really need your approval on the final guest list and the speech. You’re the face of the foundation, after all.”
The face of the foundation. The legacy your dad left you. It was supposed to be this huge responsibility. And it was. You’d always taken it seriously. The one thing in your life you never ruined. But this year, you hadn’t written the speech yet. Jesus, you forgot it was even happening. And the guest list? No clue.
You rubbed your forehead, “I’ll look at it later. Just send it over.”
Lily hesitated again, probably sensing that something was off, you'd always been a control freak. “Okay, I’ll email it to you. Just let me know by tomorrow, alright?”
“Yeah, sure.”
You hung up before she could add anything else, staring at the ceiling. One more thing. One more responsibility piled on top of everything else. You were drowning in all these expectations—being the good daughter to dead parents, the responsible one, the perfect kook girl who was supposed to have everything. You were supposed to be the girl who had the trust fund, the perfect life, the foundation that helped kids in need.
You earned to be her.
Your phone buzzed again, this time with an email notification. You rolled your eyes, already knowing it was from Lily. She’d sent over the guest list, and you groaned, thinking you’d skim it, give it a half-assed glance, and send it back. But as you scrolled down the names, you stopped.
Rafe Cameron.
Of course, he was going to be there. Why wouldn’t he? His family had been involved in your dad’s foundation for years. It was like you couldn’t escape him.
The fucking nerve. To your gala. Your blood boiled instantly, your fingers gripping the phone so tight you almost cracked the screen.
Fuck him.
If he thought he could just show up and rub his new life in your face, he had another thing coming. Without thinking twice, you deleted his name, erasing him like he didn’t even exist. And then, without checking another name, you sent the list back to Lily.
You didn’t give a shit if it was petty. You didn’t care if it wasn’t professional.
If Rafe wanted to play games, you’d ruin his life if you had to. He thought he could fuck you over, leave you with all this—leave you with nothing? No. You weren’t going to let him have that power.
Not over this. Not over you.
You were shaking now, but it almost felt good. Even if it was just a stupid guest list. Let him find out when he got there and there was no table for him. No seat. No fucking room.
You still sat there staring at the screen with that stupid blinking cursor. The email from Lily sat open in front of you, and somewhere buried in the list of attachments was the speech. Blank.
Your speech—the one you were supposed to read at the gala in two days. The one you hadn’t even started writing.
This was always the hardest part. Writing it. Saying it. You used to cry every time. Standing in front of all those people, talking about your dad, your family, how the foundation was this beautiful way of keeping their memory alive. It was never just a speech—it was like ripping your heart out of your chest and letting everyone see it, year after year. It never got easier.
But Rafe, used to be there with you.
Every year. He’d sit with you while you struggled through every word, telling you it was okay to take your time, reminding you that you didn’t have to do it if you didn’t want to. And when the gala came, he was always by your side, standing just off stage, waiting for you after the speech was done. You’d run into his arms, and he’d whisper that you 'did great baby', holding you until the room stopped spinning so much.
You could still hear his voice in your head sometimes, 'you’re stronger than you think'.
That’s what he always said, even when you didn’t believe it. He’d hold you, kiss your forehead, and make you feel like it was true, like you really could get through it. He was always so sure of you. But this year? He wasn’t going to be there. He’d stop believing the lies he fed you. You were angry. You were seething. You were utterly alone.
You’d been avoiding this moment—writing.
This time around, it wasn’t just about the speech. It was about the fact that when you walked out of that stage, you wouldn’t have him waiting for you.
You’d step down into nothingness, with no one to catch you.
Your fingers hovered over the screen, but they wouldn’t move. What were you even supposed to say this year? How were you supposed to stand up in front of all those people and talk about love and family and legacy when yours was shattered?
You hated looking at yourself in the mirror, feeling like you’d lost every single piece of who you used to be.
Fuck the speech. Fuck the gala. Fuck Rafe Cameron and his stupid lies, his stupid smile, his stupid promises that he never kept.
If he thought you were weak, if he thought he could break you, if he thought you were the same girl who used to cling to him like he was the only thing keeping you together—he was wrong.
You were going to do this without him.
You were going to stand up there and give that speech, no matter how much it hurt. And if it killed you, so be it. You’d still do it.
Because unlike him, you didn’t just walk away from the things that mattered. Even if it tore you apart. Even if it was killing you to keep pretending like you were fine. You weren’t fine. But you’d fake it. You’d fake it until the whole world believed it.
You’d barely hit send on the email when your phone rang again, and this time it wasn’t Lily.
It was Topper. You hadn’t talked to him since that night—the night. The party where you’d found out, where you’d seen Rafe and Sofia together for the first time. Where you realized that everyone knew.
How he’d called Rafe over, like you needed him to fix it, like he was still yours to rely on.
“What?”
“Hey…” Topper’s voice was cautious, “I, uh, I wanted to call and apologize for the other night.”
You snorted, leaning your head back against the wall. “Yeah? For what part? For calling Rafe like his little bitch or for getting in front of my car when I was trying to leave?”
“I didn’t mean to fuck things up. I was just trying to stop you from doing something stupid.”
“Like what?” you snapped. “Leaving the party? Getting out of there before I had to watch him with her for one more second? Yeah, Top, real dumb of me.”
“You almost ran me over,” Topper shot back, his voice rising just a little, like he was offended you hadn’t mentioned that part. “Kinda felt like maybe you weren’t thinking straight.”
“You jumped in front of the car you fucking idiot. What the hell did you expect me to do? Slam on the brakes and listen to whatever bullshit you and Rafe had to say? Because trust me, ’m all out of patience for either of you.”
There was a sigh on the other end, the sound of him trying to not to lose his patentience, like he was the one in the right here. Typical Topper. Always wanting to smooth things over, play peacemaker between you and Rafe, like this was just another fight you’d get over.
He never really got it.
“Look,” Your cousin started, calmer this time, “I didn’t mean to call him. I just thought—”
“You always think calling him will fix things,” you cut in, “Like he’s the answer to every problem I have. He’s not. Not anymore.”
“I get that,” He added quickly, like he was afraid you’d hang up. “But I didn’t know what else to do! You were upset, and I thought maybe—”
“Maybe what? That he could swoop in and save the day?” You let out a bitter laugh. “He’s not your golden boy, Top. He doesn’t fix anything. He ruins things.”
Topper went quiet for a second, probably trying to figure out how to respond without setting you off on an angry rant again. “I get it,” he said finally, “You’re pissed at him. You have every right to be. But I didn’t call him to hurt you, okay? I was worried about you.”
You hated how genuine he sounded, hated that he meant well. He was a nuisance half of the time, sure, but he wasn’t malicious. He never was. He just had terrible judgment.
“Next time, don’t,” you muttered, rubbing a hand over your face. “I don’t need you playing little brother and calling him when things go wrong."
“I wasn’t trying to clean anything up,” Topper explained, a little defensive now. “I just didn’t want you driving like that. You were upset.”
You rolled your eyes. “Upset doesn’t mean I need you or Rafe deciding what’s best for me. I’m not a kid.”
“You’re not,” he agreed, “But you weren’t exactly in a great headspace, so yeah, I stopped you. I wasn’t gonna let you leave like that and end up in a ditch somewhere.”
It hurt like a bitch, because deep down, you knew Topper had a point.
You were having a meltdown, and he’d stepped in, like he always did when you went off the rails. That was the problem with him—he cared, even when you didn’t want him to. He was family, the only family you had left, and he was too loyal for his own good.
“You could’ve told me,” you confessed what had been upsetting you, your voice losing some of its initial attitude. “About them. Instead of letting me walk into that party blind.”
Topper sighed again, “I should’ve,” he admitted. “I didn’t want you to find out like that. But it wasn’t my place to say anything. And I didn’t want to make things worse.”
Your hand instinctively moved to cup your stomach. You didn’t even realize you were doing it at first, but the second your fingers touched your shirt, the earlier panic welled up inside you again. If he only knew how bad things were. How bad they could get. You yanked your hand away like you’d been burned, heart hammering against your ribs most painfully. There was no way you could even begin to explain what was going on inside your head—or your body.
Not to Topper. Not to anyone. If he knew, he’d freak and you didn’t need that right now.
You clenched your jaw, pushing yourself to focus on the conversation, on Topper still yammering on about apologies and guilt You shook your head, a bitter smile tugging at your lips.
“Are you even listening?”
“Unfortunately,” You sounded apathetic even to yourself, fingers tapping against the phone, agitated. “Look, Top, I don’t have time for this right now. I’m busy.”
He sighed. “I know you’re pissed, okay? I get it. But the gala’s in, like, two days. You... you still going, right?”
“Of course I’m going,” you scowled, barely able to hide the bitterness in your voice. “I have to. It’s not like I can just dip out and pretend it’s not happening.”
Unlike some people, you thought, but you bit your tongue.
“Good, because I’ll be there too. And I—”
“Oh, joy,” you interrupted, “Another chance for you to babysit me and make sure I don’t make a scene? Can’t wait.”
“Jesus, I’m just trying to help!” Topper groaned. “I didn’t want to make things worse the other night. I—”
“Yeah. Whatever, I’ll see you at the gala.”
You hung up. You didn’t have the patience to deal with him right now.
The day of the gala came faster than you thought it would.
It was like you blinked, and suddenly, you were standing in the middle of the venue, walking through final checks with Lily, nodding along as she rattled off details you barely absorbed.
The room was all glitz and glamour, with chandeliers dripping from the ceiling, and everything draped in the foundation’s signature gold and white.
Crisp tablecloths. Flowers in perfect, elegant arrangements. Waiters in black-tie uniforms were circulating, making sure everything looked flawless. Flawless.
That word made you want to gag.
You moved through the space like a ghost, smiling at the right moments, giving half-hearted approvals when needed. You didn’t care. People were running around, asking for your opinion on this or that. You’d stayed at the venue longer than planned, making sure everything was in order, but your mind was stuck in that floating-place. You wanted to burn the whole thing down, if you were being honest.
You should’ve called your doctor. Days ago. Hell, maybe weeks ago.
Making smart choices wasn’t your thing lately, was it?
When you finally slipped into the room where they’d set up your glam team, you just wanted to sleep. The room itself was a suite off to the side of the venue, a private space meant to make you feel like royalty.
A massive mirror ran across one wall, surrounded by soft, glowing lights. A table was set up with everything—hair tools, makeup brushes, palettes, serums. Bottles of champagne sat chilled in the corner, the condensation dripping down the glass, untouched. It was the kind of place you were supposed to feel special in.
Normally you did. But this year you were numb.
The stylist worked quietly on your hair, soft curls falling into place as she tugged and pinned each section with meticulous care. The makeup artist was dabbing foundation onto your skin, blending and contouring until you didn’t even recognize yourself in the mirror. The dress hung behind you, a shimmering white gown, custom-designed by Versace for the occasion.
You looked like you were stepping into one of those perfect, glamorous lives. But on the inside, you felt like you were going to lose it at any second. You nodded along, giving tight-lipped smiles when they complimented you, and then they finally left.
The room was dead silent now, just you and your reflection. You stood in front of the mirror, staring at yourself, the perfect curls, the glowy skin, the gown waiting behind you. It all felt wrong. It felt fake. You didn’t bear a resemblance to yourself.
You looked like the version of you that the world expected—the untouchable girl. A doll.
Your rifled through your bag for your phone, but instead, your fingers brushed something else. Cold, hard.
You hadn’t even realized it was in there.
One of the pregnancy tests. You must’ve thrown it in without thinking earlier that morning when you were rushing out the door. You hadn’t even noticed it until now.
What the fuck were you doing?
You had a gala to host in less than an hour. People were going to be looking at you, waiting for you to give the speech, expecting you to hold everything together like always. And there you were, standing in a private dressing room, about to do something so monumentally stupid. Maybe it was the pressure of tonight, or maybe it was the anger you’d been shoving down for weeks, but suddenly, you didn’t care.
You were going to do it.
Without even thinking, you stormed into the bathroom. You were so fucking tired of avoiding this. Tired of pretending like everything was fine, like you were fine.
What the hell was fine about any of this? You tore open the box, hands trembling as you pulled out the test. The room was so quiet, you could hear every little sound—your breath still uneven, the rustle of your dress against the tiles, the click of the test cap as you flicked it off.
You sat down, staring at the stick in your hand. This was insane. You were insane. Who the fuck took a pregnancy test ten minutes before they’re supposed to host a charity gala?
You couldn’t get a proper breath out as you waited, heart pounding so hard it felt like it might rip your chest open. You leaned against the sink, gripping the edge. Your stomach churned, the nausea rising again, and you had to close your eyes to stop the floor from spinning.
What if it was positive? What if it wasn’t?
You stared at the test, willing the result to appear, but it didn’t. Not yet. The little window stayed blank, as if taunting you, making you feel like you were losing your mind. You knew you had to wait longer. You weren’t stupid. You’d read those instructions a million times by now, but you hated waiting.
Hated not knowing.
You couldn’t take your eyes off the stupid little piece of plastic. Just one line or two. That was all it came down to. One fucking line or two, and your entire life would either fall apart or what? Be fine?
You glanced at the mirror, catching another glimpse of yourself, and it almost startled you—your eyes were wild. Desperate. They were the eyes of someone who was just about ready to do anything to get this over with.
You tried to picture telling him again, but the idea alone made you sick. You thought of Sofia, of her perfect smile next to his, and bile rose in your throat. Your hands never stopped shaking. You wanted to run. You wanted to throw that thing in the garbage can and never stare at it again.
Your thoughts spun in circles, going nowhere, just making everything worse. The clock on your phone ticked louder and louder, and you knew—somewhere out there, everyone was getting ready. Guests were arriving. The gala would start soon, and they’d all be waiting for you. Watching you. Expecting you to be the poised, perfect version of yourself you’d spent your whole life pretending to be.
And you were in here, trying not to lose your fucking mind.
You peeked back at it. Still nothing.
No line. No answer.
It felt like you were suspended in time. You closed your eyes, gripping the sink harder, praying for it to end—something to happen, anything.
Then finally, you felt it in your chest—a heavy, sinking feeling, like the moment before a fall.
You opened your eyes.
There it was.
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