#for some reason I try so hard to avoid these things to avoid being cringe and then they all come out at once every few months or so | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lvrcpid · 2 years ago

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the less i know the better.

this indicates a flashback. previous || next

the long walk back home was less than pleasant. all you could do was cry. cry and cry until you had no more tears left to give. jake wanted nothing more than to comfort you but he knew it would only make things worse. he tensed up at your cries, cringing slightly. god, he truly is the worst father in the world.

when you got back, you were quick to bolt to your corner, ignoring the gazes of your siblings and mother. you had nothing to say to them, just when life was starting to favor you, it was snatched right from under you. it wasn't fair. why do they all of a sudden care now? it took you dying for them to care about you? why didn't they want to see you happy?

jake and neytiri said nothing as they exchanged pitiful looks with each other, they were going to try and make things right. keyword try. they knew you hated them especially for this, and they understood why, they've been the world's worst parents.

tuktirey was smart for her age, and she knew something was wrong with you when you came back grim-faced. she was excited you were home, but you didn't look happy. of course, her being her, she crept by your side and laid down next to you, giving you a big hug, smushing her cheek against yours, giggling out a small 'i'm happy you're home..' you said nothing as you faintly hugged your little sister back but couldn't turn to face your family, it was too painful. you felt betrayed.

the next few days were grim and cloudy for you. each family member tried at least once to get you to smile but to no avail. you sat during breakfast with you head facing your lap. you didn't even touch your bow and arrow when jake took you all hunting. it's like you were a doll. a lifeless doll with no hint of glimmer and life in its eyes. neteyam and kiri pitied you. they were so glad you were home but knew you didn't come willingly.

lo’ak knew it too. of course like the rest of your family, he was happy you were home. but he had to admit, your mood was genuinely bringing him down as well. tsireya had stopped talking to the boy. mentioning something about not wanting to be together with ‘someone like him’ ouch. he tried his best along with your other siblings to cheer you up. he would go out and get you your favorite fruit. he knew you wouldn’t eat it but it didn’t hurt to try. he was taking this a bit different than the rest of the family. his patience was thin for you. you noticed this but you didn’t say anything, you just brushed it off as lo’ak being lo’ak. but underneath the hard, irritated exterior, was a young boy yearning for your familiar love. he missed you getting him out of trouble and making sure he got up on time.

‘(y/n) would you like to join us? we’re going to go swimming with tsireya and ao’nung?’ kiri said, bending down to your level. kiri had always been your favorite. she was soft spoken and kind, and you didn’t have to look after her much. you didn’t do much but shake your head and continue to weave the bracelet you were making.

in your silence you had taking a liking to beading. often you would sit and bead bracelets for hours. it’s all you really could do. you didn’t wanna talk or communicate with anyone. you hated it here. you couldn’t go back to the family that seemingly abandoned you. you really had nowhere else to run to.

neytiri had spent all of her time with you, attempting to right her wrongs. she taught you how to carve your own bow, and she even added new beads to your songcord for you. her small smile faltered as you set it down, walking away from it, leaving her in the cold and empty mauri. she sighed as she watched your figure leave the home and out of view.

you tried to avoid ao'nung and tsireya the best you could. for some reason, you felt embarrassed. the siblings tried their best to be there for you, but you wouldn't let them, walking away every time one of them tried to come close to you.

ronal and tonowari felt for you as well. the day you left she wept like she had lost her own. she would miss you, but she knew jake truly had the heart to make things right with you.

it was early in the morning when jake stopped by the family's hut, requesting to talk with ronal and tonowari together. the metkayina woman was hesitant, the rage she felt for jake sully almost bubbling over as she sat next to her mate.

'i would like to bring (y/n) home..please. and before you say no, please just hear me out' tonowari squinted as he ushed jake to continue, holding ronals hand tightly as he looked at her, giving her a look that said 'just let him talk' the metkayina woman nodded before looking back to jake. 'continue.'

' we miss them.. and i know theres no action or word that can undo the damage my family and i have bestowed upon this child' he turned to look at you on the shore. you resembled him so much. tears brimmed in his eyes as he looked back at the pair. 'neytiri cannot sleep at night...she is worried about her child..so please let me ease my wifes mind, even if its just a liitle bit..' he looked to ronal, a pleading look to his face. ' ronal..if it was ao'nung or even tsireya..would you want that pain?' ronal sighed, she wouldn't. she looked at the look in his eyes before nodding ' you may take them home.. but only if you make things right.'

night fell against awa'atlu, people buzzing around as it was dinner time. you were with your family a little far away but still a bit close, silent as usual. you were playing with your fingers when the orange of the fire was replaced by a dark shadow, you looked up and it was rotxo. 'oh hi' your voice was hoarse, that being the first time you'd spoken in days. ' i heard what happened, are you alright?' he sat down next to you, taking his four-fingered hand into your five-fingered hand lightly.

he'd always thought that was a cute feature. he thought everything about you was cute. the way you would scrunch your nose up when you were confused, the way you would always have to explain what 'eyebrows' were to him since he just couldn't seem to grasp the concept even when ao'nung teased him about it. he loved all of it about you. he didn't realize it but he was staring at you, hard. you snapped your fingers in front of his face before letting out a small giggle, the noise like music to his ears.

after dinner you stayed back with rotxo and helped clean up. your family was hesitant with leaving you alone, but they were shocked to hear you say that you were fine. and with that, they left.

soon enough you and rotxo were standing up by the fire. he thought you were the most beautiful person in the whole world at that moment. you were in the middle of a story when rotxo cut you off. '(y/n) you're..you're so special to me.' you were shocked and startled a tad, your face turning dark indigo.

you were silent, you didn't know what to say. with all that was going on you didn't have the time to process your feelings for the metkayina boy. the silence was broken with a sentence that would change your life forever.

'i see you (y/n)..'

tags 🏷️: @23victoria @avtprint @bucky1235 @boilingpots @Marcswife21 @elegantkidfansoul @itsyogurl @stars4deku @stvpidscvpid @uniltsatirey @urdeadpoet @annamarieisbae @graysonmalik2550 @blueberryfailureclinic @jordan-network @newjeansbonnie @stickyfictioninwriting @fanboyluvr @zatarias-pandora @jjkclub @elvyshiarieko @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @adaiasafira @scarletrosesposts @spicycloudsalad @vane28282 @nuttyrebelflower @aemondmyl0ve @msbimb0 @neteyamforlife @gamorxs @sharni07 @thegooberboy @theesexystallion @nanaitesully @destinylburns @fandom-garbage @dakotall @1ntefly @sicklscream @osumarusjade @rosemaryblossoms @malfoylaufeysonweasleybarnes @zatarias-pandora @mac-the-oregonian @dreamergirljen @laylasbunbunny @n39ro-chann @nikqdn @ayanies @muthamergya @historygeekqueen @jihyowl @justthingzsblog @yukichan67 @your-girl-mj @ok-boke @ecliipsedpoet @kthehoeforfictionalmen

#Spotify #avatar #avatar x reader #awotw #neteyam x reader #jake sully x reader #kiri x reader #loak x reader #sully family x reader #neytiri x reader #avatar 2009 #avatar imagine #avatar the way of water #avatar x you #avatar fanfiction #avatar 2 #avatar headcanons #avatar : the way of water

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ryuichirou · 4 months ago

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twst boy’s thoughts on breeding kink stuff. like who’d enjoy it and indulge in it, find it embarrassing, or straight up don’t like it. (i can see idia insisting he’s not into it but his tops are bullies…someone save him…)

Anon! Sorry for the late reply.

It was a bit of a tricky one because of my own complicated relationship with the breeding kink lol So I’m sorry if some of the hcs are less enjoyable because of it, but I tried to make it fun + it was very interesting to think about how these boys would actually feel about it.

Idia’s tops are indeed bullies… despite what I wrote in this post, Idia is so bulliable that every single top of him would go “alright let’s breed him” even without having this kink lol

Anyways~

Riddle – he probably hasn’t even heard of something like this, so if someone tries to explain this kink to him, he might misinterpret it and say that this is indeed the correct way to have an intercourse (= you should do it to procreate, sounds logical to him). This would probably make people who are aware chuckle… I think Riddle is way too far in his mind to fully get it. In terms of kink, he is more into other stuff… of which he also isn’t really aware.

Ace – if asked about it, he would act like this is kind of a yuck kink: why does everything have to be about making babies? At the same time, he is a simple guy, so if he is in the heat of the moment, he might start saying some bullshit with no filter, so it kiiiind of turns him on. But maybe it’s just because he is too damn horny and pretty much anything would turn him on lol

Deuce – not into it… or is he? Honestly, it’s hard to say because his brain just shuts off whenever he has sex, so maybe he indulged in something similar to this… when things got too animalistic. He can’t quite control how his body reacts when he feels filled; maybe it does feel kind of good… But he really doesn’t remember. He doesn’t-!!

Trey – he isn’t super into it; he did watch a bunch of porn with this exact kink at some point because he was trying out different things and seeing how he feels. And it didn’t really resonate with him a lot. I guess he just ties breeding with actually having babies too closely, and he would like to avoid that even in theory: the ultimate older brother is tired and wants to have sex without worrying too much…

Cater – he is not super into it, it just doesn’t click in his mind; but similarly to Ace, if he is horny, he is horny. He would play along if his partner suddenly started saying stuff during sex, but also add something like “no way~ Kei-kun doesn’t want to be a dad yet, are you really that hungry for that?” or something among the lines.

Leona – he is more into it than he wants to admit. It is kind of a huge secret, but when Ruggie noticed that, Leona smirked and said that this is another reason why he and his brother are so different: Falena has always been a very oblivious horny breeder, and Leona, well… he has always loved the feeling of being mounted and bred. Ruggie didn’t need to hear it in this kind of detail, but sure.

Ruggie – he is not into it when his head is cool, but when he gets horny, he can’t quite control it. He cums a lot and cums often, so at some point his brain gets completely fried and he can’t think of anything other than the need to inseminate. He also finds humans with this kink kind of funny… don’t gatekeep breeding wtf Ruggie.

Jack – “all beastmen have breeding kink” is a stereotype, and Jack Howl is the reason it exists. Now this is someone who can’t actually help it and suffers because his instincts get the best of him; but at the same time there is this sentimental brain cell in his head that make him feel like the love he feels for someone just doubles when he breeds them. Even if he knows that Deuce won’t be able to produce a litter, he won’t stop trying… But when the sex is all done and Jack is sane again, he kind of cringes at all this.

Azul – he doesn’t have a breeding kink and doesn’t really see a point in it (someone please explain to Azul that kinks don’t really have points), but he gets kind of aroused from the thought of using breeding to control a person… I think that’s a whole different kink altogether though… Plus, ironically he is probably the most likely out of the trio to have his instincts to breed take over. I just want Idia to have octopus eggs…

Jade – he would be into the transformation a human body would have to go through to sustain eel eggs + he finds popping eggs very satisfying, does that count as a breeding kink? No Jade, it doesn’t! What the hell! Anyways, for Jade it’s more of a science project than a kink…

Floyd – he gets carried away easily, and no kink is really a 100% turn off for him. So sometimes it would be a yuck for him and he would say that pretending as if you’re making babies is gross and babies are also gross and the whole thing is gross. But sometimes he will start asking Riddle weird questions and say weird comments, like how his body is so tiny it probably would look giant if he had his eggs. He might even force Riddle to beg him to cum inside for that exact reason. But maybe this is just because he loves to mess with Riddle too much.

Kalim – he probably doesn’t even know it exists… and if he hears about someone having this kink, he would think that this is very wholesome and sweet. And a little bit sad. Say, Jamil, is there a way for them to have a kid if they want it so badly they keep trying? There must be, right?

Jamil – he doesn’t want to answer Kalim’s questions and doesn’t want to even think about it. In general, I think he is indifferent and sometimes doesn’t really like it. But the latter is because there was a period in his life during which he kept having nightmares about having Kalim’s babies and having sex with him repeatedly for years and years. He doesn’t know what the hell that was all about.

Vil – it’s not 100% totally impossible to get him in the mood for it if he is super deep in his roleplay mode. But in general and if he is not in a very specific mood and high level of arousal, Vil doesn’t really resonate with this kink all that much. Whenever he tries to think about it with a fresh mind, he thinks about how he’d rather be a hot step-mother + how cum is a bitch to clean out afterwards…

Rook – let’s be honest he probably loves it lol There aren’t a lot of kinks that this man doesn’t like. With breeding in particular though, to him it ties closely with the primal kink and domination play, so putting his seed inside someone is like a victory: a wild beast is now tamed, defeated and mellow, shivering under him, completely surrendering to Rook to the point of being ready to be his bitch. I guess Rook is the type of person that Ruggie would make fun of… he doesn’t make fun of Rook though, that’s too scary.

Epel – he is similar to both Ace and Deuce in a way. He would be violently against it in theory: he is insecure enough about enjoying being a bottom, he doesn’t need another added layer of anything even remotely feminine on top of it; but when he is being bred, his body adjusts to it surprisingly easily. He probably wouldn’t beg to breed him, but his body trembles very obviously if his partner is talking about this kind of stuff while fucking him. Epel is a little bunny…

Ortho – (breaking our usual order, because…) maybe he is going through a phase, maybe he is just messing with Idia, maybe he is serious, but sometimes he really seems super into breeding, especially in his puppy gear. And he talks about it a lot, too: about how he would be very happy if he could make a baby with niisan, how it would be a symbol of his love and such. It’s supposed to sound very romantic, but sounds very cursed, as if he just took these lines from some incest hentai (and he probably did). Anyways~

Idia – he is NOT into it, and to be completely fair, he probably genuinely isn’t into it. He would even rant about how weird it is and how it’s annoying that everything is about procreating, as if there are no other enjoyable aspects in sex (… in theory of course, who needs sex anyway). But there must be some reaction because Ortho learns what makes him react and continues to do it more and more. It’s probably an exclusive thing just for Ortho though… (he’ll still have Azul’s octopus eggs)

Lilia – it’s not like he is super into it, but he does like to tease his partners because they either get shocked by him implying that Lilia could breed him, or get super aroused, or both. Lilia loves all kinds of dirty talk, so he does talk about breeding and such a lot too. But it depends on his bottoms’ reaction: if it messes with their heads, Lilia does it with more enjoyment: he loves it when boys are visibly conflicted because what Lilia is saying is cursed, but somehow feels good. Lilia doesn’t do it with Malleus though… for some reason.

Silver – he doesn’t think about it much, I think he’s indifferent in general. Which doesn’t mean that he has never been bred before. Lilia also probably explained to him that sometimes fae have certain urges, and that he’ll have to help Sebek out sometimes in when it happens… and Silver always keeps it in mind. Maybe deep inside he is looking forward to it… a little bit. Anyways, he puts himself into mating press position when he knows it’s time, and it blows Sebek’s mind.

Sebek – rationally, he really doesn’t like it and even gets grossed out, but it’s because he is so troubled with his own instincts and his body maturing and becoming more demanding. So it’s like people with the breeding kink are just making fun of him in his head… At times he is even worse than Jack at it. He is meaner about it too, so if he is with Silver or Idia, he might start rambling something about them being grateful to have his seed. If he is with Malleus though, he’ll shut the fuck up and breed him like a good pup, feeling way too excited about the prospect of Malleus himself having his seed inside his body.

Malleus – it’s tied with his fertility because he lays eggs lol He loves getting cream-pied and marked, he loves being put into positions that would in theory ensure conception. At times it feels like Malleus doesn’t see any reason to have sex if he isn’t getting cream-pied… He also loves teasing his lovers with implications.

#replies #headcanons

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oh-no-its-bird · 3 days ago

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Incredibly self indulgent 'early konoha kids get zapped into canon right after Hiruzen is killed' au..... save me incredibly self indulgent 'early konoha kids get zapped into canon right after Hiruzen is killed' au ,,,,

This is so stupid but I'm embracing the cringe.

POV a Nara an Orochi and 2 Hatake twins fuck around and find out with one of Tobirama's seals (that one of the Hatake's definitely stole) when they really really shouldn't and get zapped to Konoha

Immediate glaring problem: the Orochi clan is incredibly recognizable. They all look very similar. And Orochimaru is the only one left in modern era and also just killed the Hokage in front of a fuck ton of people, like, last week. And is also a known body hopper so any minor differences in appearance can be very easily waved away.

They don't even realize smthn went wrong at first bc they were fucking around way on the outskirts of town to avoid being caught playing with things they shouldn't, and when they return to town they take the back ways around so they don't even notice the new buildings n stuff

They all just kinda shrug and call it a day after the seal explodes on them (and poke at the Hatake who's genius idea it was to play with the seal, who is also the only one of them currently throwing up in the grass due to the seal backlash) and split off to go home

"Did it hurt?" Haru cheerfully prodded his brothers cheek with his finger. "Do you feel sick?" He gave him another poke. "Do you feel stupid?" At this poke, Hiro let out a low grumble. "You look pretty stupid."

Only, in going home, the Hatake's return to a ruined, falling appart clan compound that suitably freaks them out

The Nara to a house that looks somewhat the same (with some changes to the garden) but has a new family in it who yells at her in confusion when she apparently breaks in and chases her away

And the Orochi, the only one of them to go run errands before heading home, is immediatley mistaken for Orochimaru and tackled by like 10 ANBU agents at once while trying to buy groceries (the weeping shopkeep is very relieved. The Orochi meanwhile, is very confused)

Prison break time !! The Nara and Hatake twins very messily break out their friend, who then refuses to leave without retrieving their gourd, which was taken to evidence (and is an important clan artifect and weapon) so the escape gets even messier

They may have tried to clear up any misunderstandings but that was before their Orochi buddy got put in prison under threat and schedule of torture, so they decide to fuck off from the village in hopes of creating some distance

(There's a lot of conflict on Konoha's side, behind the curtains and higher up, from some who had interacted w Orochinatsu, who do not believe them to be Orochimaru. And those who interacted w them and do. And Danzo, who wants them dead and or in his hands either way, who is also kind of in charge rn bc Sarutobi's fucking dead)

So they retreat real hard and real fast and knock right into Sasuke actually, who's in the middle of trying to defect to sound.

Oh also it's to note that the warring states guys are all 17-18, so they (read:the Hatake twins) see Sasuke and are like "oh the ittle baby wishes to commit treason? That's so cut— whO taught him that ????? (Chidori) WHY CANT I DO THAT I WANT TO DO THAT ???????"

Anyways they somehow join Sasuke on his little trip to sound— They hear Orochimaru and think of the Orochimaru of their time (the name is a title passed down through Orochi clan heads) and they also, now somewhat aware of the time travel, think of the (literal this time) baby Oro they occasionally babysit together, and who is Orochinatsu's baby cousin (who is, yes, the Orochimaru of this time)

They get to Sound and Orochimaru is like "???? Ayo ????" for MULTIPLE reasons, this entire thing fascinates him

Omg Sasuke u brought him a gift ?? Ur such a good guest!

Unfortunately for them tho, Orochinatsu is also like. Literally the most perfect body he could ask for, actually. They look really similar, the kid is young and strong and healthy, plus also very talented (annoyingly to the others, one of the most skilled among their generation in early konoha) they already have a snake contract, and best of all they're literally directly biologically related to Orochimaru, which could seriously help the body snatching procedure, etc.

Unsure where it goes from there, they might tuck Sasuke under their arm and book it, maybe even promise to help w his Itachi problem, idk I'm just having fun spinning around in circles in a chair daydreaming ab silly stupid oc time travel aus

Staring at a wall telling myself to embrace the cringe ,,, I earned it,, tis my birthright to make unasked for naruto oc content ,,

#silly self indulgent naruto aus no one asked for.... save me silly self indulgent naruto aus no one asked for..........#i really like thinking ab these guys sorry not sorry #they are silly and dear to my heart #birds fic talk #naruto ocs #time travel #naruto #orochimaru #birds ocs #hatake oc #nara oc #orochi oc #orochi clan

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anonymityisfunwriter · 1 year ago

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Hits Different

"I trace the evidence, make it make some sense, why the wound is still bleedin', you were the one that I loved, don't need another metaphor, it's simple enough..."

Part of Inspired by Taylor Swift Series 'You're Losing Me' Chapter List Part 1

“I love you!”

“No, I love you!” you slur, leaning across the table to emphasize your point to Wanda.

“No, no, I love you," she furiously shakes her head, slurring back to you. "And you know what? If you and Bucky can’t figure this out, then - then love is a lie.”

Nat cringes at Wanda's bold statement, trying to grab her hand to pull her away from the conversation, “Wanda-“

Wanda drunkenly shoos away Nat's hand, slamming her glass down on the table so hard you're shocked it doesn't break in her hand, “No, it’s a lie! They are perfect for each other, Nat. Love is a lie!”

You fervently nod, your intoxicated mind wholeheartedly agreeing with Wanda, “Love is a lie!”

"You are both in long term, loving relationships, and you're both very, very drunk right now," Nat reasons, though it clearly goes in one ear and out the other.

Wanda leans over the table, grabbing your hands across the table, "You and Bucky are perfect together-"

"We're supposed to be getting her mind off of Bucky, not reminding her about him," Nat pointedly remarks, widening her eyes at Wanda, who doesn't seem to notice her faux pas.

"Bucky," you whimper, it was the first time you'd tasted his name in over a month. You so carefully avoided saying his name in your separation, saying it seems to open the floodgates, "I miss him."

Nat's mouth twists to the side, she gently coos, "I know you do, but -"

"We used to dance to this song all the time," you shout over the music, steamrolling over Nat's attempt to console you. You point to the speaker above you, "This was our song."

"You used to dance together?" Wanda blubbers. She turns to Natasha with wide, desperate eyes, "Nat, they used to dance together!"

Nat remorsefully sighs, regretting the moment she decided that she would stay at least mostly sober tonight, "I know, but right now, they-"

"We don't dance together anymore. He doesn't love me anymore," you brokenly whisper, tears welling in your eyes.

"That's not true!" Nat insists. "Please don't cry. If you cry, Wanda -"

"Love is a lie," Wanda sniffles, mascara tears welling under her eyes.

Nat groans, rubbing her temples. Even in the dim bar light, you can see the exasperation in her eyes as clear as day.

You understand Nat's frustration with you. You never don't cry anymore. These days it seems like you're always crying, at every bar, at every club. This isn't the first time you've absolutely demolished the upbeat atmosphere of a night out with your sadness.

It was contagious, and you wouldn't be surprised if you soon stopped receiving invitations.

He made a permanent mess of you.

"I should get another drink," you announce, harshly planting your hands on the table.

Natasha grips your hand, keeping you from taking off, "Not a chance, unless that drink is water."

You squeeze her hand, pulling her close to you, "I'll get custody of you guys, right? I know you have to work with him and you knew him first, but you're my friends too, right?"

"Of course we're your friends," Nat promises.

"Maybe I can get you guys on the weekend," you mutter.

"I don't think we need to worry about custody agreements just yet, alright?" Nat tries to assuage your concerns, she drops your hand, giving your shoulder a comforting squeeze, "If I'm being honest, I still think you can work things out. He loves you."

"I thought that too," you softly cry. You wipe away the tears, your face heating up with a terrible combination of alcohol, misery, and embarrassment. "I need some air."

"I'll go with you," Nat tells you, stopping you before you can leave.

"What about Wanda?" you ask, stumbling as you stand up from the both you'd occupied all night. Nat looks down at Wanda, Wanda's head slumped against Nat's shoulder, still crying her eyes out. "I just need air. I'll be fine. Pinkie promise."

"If you're not back in 5 minutes, I'm going to come find you."

"Scout's honor!" you exclaim.

"You were never a Girl Scout," Natasha yells after you.

You weave your way through the crowds of people. No one seems to notice how desperately you want to escape this bar, and tonight, you're not above pushing and shoving.

When you finally make your way outside, you notice that the cool night does nothing to soothe the ache in your heart and the knotted feeling in the pit of your stomach. You prop yourself up against the brick wall and take the deepest breath you possibly can.

"Tough night?" the bouncer asks.

"Tough month," you admit, wrapping your arms around yourself to protect yourself from the frosty night.

"Whoever he is, he's an idiot," the bouncer offers. "Doesn't know what he lost."

You sniffle, wiping away the tears on your cheeks, "Thank you, Mr. Bouncer."

You didn't believe the bouncer.

Not when you could still see it so clearly in your mind.

Bucky, just like you, knew exactly what he'd lost.

There is no washing your hands of something that was still staining every inch of your skin, like a wine stained dress you couldn't wear anymore.

You'd memorized every aspect of Bucky. There was not a part of him you didn't know. Just like there wasn't a single part of you that he hadn't touched. You think of the little wrinkles in the corner of his eyes, the scruff he'd always wake with, the slope of his nose, you knew every piece of him. And you knew it by heart.

It all appears in flashes, little snippets of memories that you never wanted to let go of. And you think of him, of the way he used to look at you, the way he used to hold you, of what you shared - and you picture him sharing that with someone else.

You're not quite sure if it's the copious amounts of liquor in your veins or the image of the love of your life finding a new, better, greater love. Waves of nausea wash over you so quickly that it overwhelms you.

You clap a hand over your mouth, biting back the bile burning in your esophagus.

It's no use as you rush forward to the curb, throwing up all over the street. Each time you picture him in love with other girls is another dry heave on the street.

"I'm gonna go grab your friends," the bouncer says, though you barely hear him as you remain doubled over the curb.

"Thank you," you hear Nat say only a minute or so later, jogging out to the curb. She grabs your hair with one hand, rubbing soft, soothing circles over your spine with the other, "I think now's a good time to call it a night."

"I'm sorry," you whimper. "I didn't mean to ruin the night."

"You didn't," Nat states, though even in your drunken state, you can tell she's lying. "I promise it's fine. We understand."

You look up at her hopefully, tears freely flowing down your cheeks, "You do?"

"We do." She stands up, flagging down a taxi cab driving down the street. "We just need to get you home and in bed."

"Okay," you sniffle as the taxi pulls up. "Home sounds good."

She unsubtly ushers you into the taxi, "Come on, let's get you in the cab."

"Wait, I left my jacket inside!" you abruptly exclaim, popping back out of the cab.

Nat sighs, clearly a little frustrated with dealing with you and Wanda. She stops you from getting out with a firm hand on your shoulder, "I'll go grab it. You stay here while I go get Wanda, alright?"

You obediently nod, "Okay."

She turns back with a threatening expression like she can see the scheming lurking in your eyes, "I mean it! No running off."

"I wouldn't dream of it," you drunkenly promise. "Cross my heart!"

Nat narrows her eyes at you, trying to determine the sincerity in your eyes. She sticks out an admonishing finger, "I'll be right back."

You keep nodding as she backs away from the curb, not breaking eye contact with you until she reaches the door. You shut the car door the moment that Nat enters the bar. "Can we go now?"

The taxi driver looks back at you with a vaguely concerned expression, though you get the sense that it's less for your safety and more for the fact that you're drunk in his backseat, "What about your friends?"

"I'll text them on the way."

He purses his lips in clear displeasure, debating if this ride was worth the cab fare.

"Can you just take me home?" you quietly plead with the taxi driver. "Please?"

The driver sighs in concession after a moment, "You wanna tell me where home is?"

You prattle off your address. He looks back at you one last time, he sighs, nods, and drives off, "Just don't throw up in my back seat."

"I wouldn't dream of it," you mutter.

You lean your head against the window of the cab, watching as the streets pass you by. Each flickering street light, each traffic light, every intersection is just a little bit closer to where your heart still resided.

By the time the cab comes to a stop in front of your old apartment, some of your intoxication has faded.

Just not sober enough to stop you from doing something stupid.

You pay the driver, collect your things, and hop out of the cab.

You stumble your way into the apartment building, up the elevator, down the hall.

After fussing with the keys in your bag, it takes you far longer than you'd care to admit to get the door unlocked.

You fling open the door, stumbling into the dark apartment.

"Hello?" you call into the darkness.

No response.

"Hello?" you over-enunciate.

No response again.

You stumble on, your hand clumsily feeling for the light switch against the wall. You victoriously chuckle when the room is finally illuminated.

What you find is not something that you're ready to bear witness to.

There is no life here. No warmth. No light. Everything you once loved is gone. He is gone. Everything is exactly as you left it, and yet, it is all gone.

The room is sobering. Both mentally and physically. And you're not ready to be sober just yet.

You stumble around to the liquor cabinet, skipping over the bottles of wine and champagne and straight to Bucky's expensive bottle of whiskey.

You know it's stupid. You know it's a decision you will regret when you wake up with the worst hangover of your life.

You know that, but in this moment, you swear you can feel sobriety slowing creeping up on you, and you can't bring yourself to face this emotional gravesite with a clear head.

Not bothering with a glass, you put the bottle of Bucky's whiskey up to your lips. You take a long pull of a liquor you don't even like, and continue wandering through your home.

It vaguely occurs to you that this isn't really your home anymore. You hadn't lived here since you'd left a month ago. You'd only been brave enough to sneak in once to get more clothes under the absolute certainty that Bucky was away on a mission.

Even though you had a key, even though you'd picked out every piece of furniture, even with your name on the lease, this wasn't your home anymore.

You shakily suck in a breath, trying to keep the tears at bay.

You drag your leadened feet through the apartment, trailing your fingertips over the cool class of pictures frames filled with better days. You keep rummaging through the apartment, hoping to trace the evidence back to where things went wrong.

It didn't make sense.

When did it go wrong? When was love not enough? And when did you stop dancing with him?

You loved dancing with him. You'd always believed in fairytales in secret. You treated it as your most sacred wish, your most secret desire. Before him, you'd let that wish go, you'd given up. And when you found him, you were certain that this was your fairytale ending. You couldn't believe you'd found someone so perfect, someone who made you believe again.

You loved him so much. He was all you wanted. And it still wasn't enough.

He was it for you, you were sure. There would be no one else. No one else could compare. You'd already given your heart away with no intention of ever asking for it back.

If he wasn't the one for you, why did it hurt this much? Why did freedom taste this bitter?

You look out on the window sill filled with your houseplants, it fills you with an irrational joy that he hadn't let them die.

You trailed through the artifacts of a great, life altering love, a love meant for the ages. A love that died young.

You stop at Bucky's old baseball cap, remembering all the times he wore it early in your relationship to avoid being recognized in public. Compared to now, those days were so easy.

It was so bright, so full of love. You'd jumped without ever looking down. This was it, this is what awaited you in the pit of heartbreak.

You wipe away the tears, the hat still firmly in your grasp. You can't pull yourself together enough to recognize that you were crying over a hat.

Instead, you allow him to make a mess of you again. You slump down in the center of the floor, hat in one hand, bottle of whiskey in the other.

You clutch the hat to your chest, choked sobs rack through your entire body. You hold the hat like it's the last piece of him you still have - mostly because it is the last piece of him you have.

Before you can descend any further into your emotional breakdown, you hear a key turning in the door down the hallway.

You lean your head against the wall, looking to the empty hallway.

Is that his key in the door?

You were the only two that had keys to this apartment. It was a choice you made together. This was your place, not for anyone else. No one else would ever know this sanctuary like the two of you did.

Is it him?

You reconcile that maybe he gave the key to Steve, who gave it to Nat, who was here to take you away.

You didn't want to be taken away.

"Baby?" You hear his voice echo from the door. Heavy footsteps thump down the empty hallway. "Doll? Baby, are you here? Can you please- "

His voice stops when he sees you slumped against the wall, bottle beside you, his old baseball hat in hand. You blink. Once. Twice. Three times, entirely convinced that this is a mirage after being deprived of your great love for so long.

He stands before you for a moment. A lull in the mirage, you tell yourself. His wide, heartbroken eyes hold you captive, becoming more real with every step towards you.

You don't say anything as he kneels before you. His ocean blue eyes are just as you remember. His familiar scent eases the pain for a moment. You swear you can feel the warmth rolling off of him. You can't help the softness that appears in your bloodshot, puffy eyes.

"Hey," he whispers. He can't stop himself, his hand grazes your cheek, almost checking if this is real. "You were crying."

It was all one hell of a mirage.

You smile at him, a sense of ease and relief settles over you.

You wonder if it'll be okay now. If everything would finally be okay.

He gently cradles you in his arms, lifting you up in one fluid motion. He knows he could've slung an arm around his shoulder instead of holding you in such an intimate way, but this feels right.

It feels right to have you back in his arms one last time.

This time he knows it's the last time, he's sure you're not going to give him another chance, this time, he can cherish it, memorize the feeling of your warmth, of your touch. It gives him something to hold onto for the rest of his life. If he can't hold on to you, he'll hold onto the memory of you.

"You used to believe in good. You used to believe in me," you softly cry into his chest.

Your breath dances across his collarbone, he memorizes that feeling too.

He gently kisses the top of your head, murmuring softly, "I still do. Always have, always will."

Part 3

AnonymityIsFun Masterlist Inspired By Taylor Swift

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated 💛

Taglist: @marianita195 @meli18gonzalez@ludicbouquetfromearth@matchat3a@famousbreadcherryblossomsstuff@valoraxx@blue786sworld@buckyandgeraltsupremacy@geminigengar@ansaturn@ecolle@lexhalstead3@ybflkmj@mediocre-daydreams@shanye1112@thegirlnextdoorssister@toomanyfanficsbruh@moonlightreader649@breathtaking-cynthia@mirikusashes@beans-and-toast@niyahcoca@katiechikin@elxvrr@antiheroxsblog@infamouslyclumsy@krissydclayton93@buckysbarne@deadheadwbedhead @qualitygiantshoepsychic@whitexwolfxx310

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myrmyrtheorca · 8 days ago

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hi friends

This will look like I'm fishing for sympathy when really I just didn't want to look like I was jumping ship

Im sorry for the lack of activity but since some of you have seen me posting on the RP account I just wanted to clarify that I haven't ditched this one or KW or anything like that

I'm just not ok, things are not sparking joy anymore and I seem to be on a creative burnout of some sorts, right now I just don't see artistic value in what I do no matter how hard I try to convince myself it's just a passing thought. The optimism that has guided me so far, the whole "I will do this because I like it and I like it because I made it" attitude that drove me to write so many words and draw so many illustrations seems to have faded in thin air in a matter of days and I honestly feel really... dry

It's not like it was prompted by anything in particular. I don't want to stop the project, I'm not tired of KW or the fandom. I don't feel ignored. But right now what I see is bad. Plain bad. Without a purpose, just ramblings of someone who's not smart enough to write or draw anything of value. An amateur at everything I do, below average, who contributes nothing to the fandom or even their friend's lives, who's too slow to improve at anything. I feel like I SHOULD BE ignored.

And I know it's not true, I know there was a purpose that guided me this far. But I can't see it right now and it pains me. It makes me so utterly, abysmally sad to look at my characters, at my story and concepts and think "what's the point". I forced myself to put down ideas for both KW and the RP blog and you know what was the first thought that came out? "Cringy". Me, who's been an advocate of "I'm cringe but I'm free" for AGES and who'd never think the same of another creator find my OWN ideas CRINGY just because the author is ME.

I put love and effort into it for almost two years and now it's been a few days when it's just... there. A failure. Nothing worth looking at. Something I want to nurture but brings me immense sadness because it will never amount to anything. And I feel my characters hate me for this because they have done nothing wrong, if it makes any sense.

And it's not because I don't feel seen or liked by you all. The visibility I got is incredible. You're all great friends. You've helped me, I felt you all next to me. You've told me time and time again that you're there for me and that you're excited for my stuff to come out, that you think I can do this. I can't express how thankful I am for that, and at the same time I can't avoid feeling ashamed for trampling over everyone's support like this for no reason.

it's all my fault for being a grown ass adult and not knowing how to stop being a crybaby over something I don't even know where it came from, stop complaining, stop running up to people bothering them with my stupid thoughts, stop yearning, stop crying, stop asking for help and just DO WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO. I HAVE DONE THIS FOR MONTHS. I HAVE NO REASON TO FEEL LIKE THIS. THIS IS IRRATIONAL AND STUPID.

So this is me right now, and if I haven't answered your ask or seemed to ignore you, I'm sorry. I'm mourning the positive attitude that supported me. But stay assured I will fucking continue this project even if it kills me to do so.

#oh wow look myell is whining again. how original.#get some new lines idiot

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olderthannetfic · 1 year ago

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Re: Hypertagging characters/ships for triggers, yeah as someone whos insane ass has a very serious trigger for a specific fictional character -particularly if they are portrayed in a positive light- I just Do Not Read Fic in that fandom by and large and blacklist it pretty hard.

It sucks I had to divorce myself from the fandom because I LIKED the earlier seasons and sometimes the fic was cute and good, but I simply cannot reasonably ask anyone to tag every mention of that character so I blacklist it all.

Its a me issue, NOT a them issue, so its my job to manage it and actually put effort into that.

That means blacklisting the show on every platform that is possible that I use, not following people who are likely to post that character, not consuming the new canon content of the show in case I get jumpscared with the character, and only ever intentionally looking for content if im in the right frame of mind to be able to stand simply seeing the name somewhere while I control+f a fic to see if they show up. I even sometimes ask friends to prescreen fics sometimes if I REALLY want to read something.

I make my own content if I want to engage with that media and I avoid the fandom. Its... I wont say its easy because it really sucks actually, but the world cannot and should not cater to me in that way. Its a competing access need and unreasonable to ask.

Its reasonable to ask a friend to warn/not deliberately show me that character- not NOT reasonable to ask a rando to do that.

Id even try to desensitize the trigger if I was in a good place for doing it but I am the wrong kind of insane to be doing that any time soon lol. Trauma work lays you right out.

To people wondering how anyone could be so fragile as to need something like that tagged; PTSD and other mental illnesses that cause serious triggers often latch onto innocuous things. Do you think I want to have such a 'cringe' trigger that causes me to [redacted] at best and have a dissociative panic attack-flashback combo AND [redacted] at worse? No its dumb as hell and I hate that there is very little to do to suppress it. Does that make the trigger go away? Also no. Its not like this is just me not liking or being uncomfortable with the character, this is an involuntary serious-hazard-to-health negative reaction I shant detail that sucks ass.

Yes us crazies do deserve to participate in fandom spaces too, we arent too broken to be barred from playing with everyone else- we just have to understand where the reasonable line is on accommodations for tagging, understand that competing access needs are a thing, and do the rest of the work ourselves.

Its not perfect but its the most good for the most people.

Id invite anyone who has a character/ship/etc trigger to seriously just blacklist the media and do what I do or even be more strict about it. You will feel so much better and more stable im not kidding. It sucks to lose a beloved fandom but you will feel so much better.

For everyone else- dont feel you need to tag every last mention on something. If you really want to be trigger friendly for some reason, you can put in the chapter notes all the minor mentions of stuff or w/e. Please Do Not put it in the proper tags.

Sadly, "dumb as hell" is a pretty default setting for triggers. If only brains were logical and behaved themselves! But one has to work with what one's got.

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targaryen-realness · 2 years ago

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Witchling chapter 3

Title: Witchling

Pairing: Osferth x Druidess!Reader

Warnings: Canon depiction of violence, mention of slavery, wounds and scars, magic, historical innacuracy (sorry medieval Scotland is not my specialty), talk about faith and christianity. The reader is fem but there is no physical description except for the fact she is a scot from the Highlands. Spoilers for season 3 of the Last Kingdom

Summary: As they are riding away from Winchester, Osferth and Lord Uhtred’s group come across a mysterious woman. She needs help but the power within her is obvious. Captivated, Osferth hopes she will stay, but as Uhtred asks her to travel with them, he cannot help but wonder what is going on in his lord’s head.

Notes: Thank you for the support on this work so far! I hope you will enjoy this chapter!

You dreamed of death. The cries of pain and sadness woke you up, and it took you seconds before you realised this was all in your head. You took your head in your hands trying to collect your thoughts and stop the shivers that travelled through your body.

“Are you alright lady?”

It was Finan and his comforting irish accent that was approaching you. You looked up and found him carrying some bread.

“Had a rough sleep?”

You nodded, simply accepting the food. You did not know if you should tell the truth. Someone had died or was going to die. You knew it. You felt it. The intense pain and fear. The cries of life and death.

“It’s okay. It’s time to get up anyway.”

You understood immediately the reason for your dream. People will die today. You did not approach the top of the wall before Uhtred screamed at you:

“Osferth and you, open the door! Finan, come with me!”

Everything was in shambles as you heard the king behind you. You saw Osferth for the first time since last night and tried to avoid his gaze as much as possible as you made your way to the door.

“Let me do it, go somewhere you’ll be safe,” he said.

You frowned, taken aback by his words. You had known greetings that where more welcoming during your years as a slave.

“We are just opening a door. I think I’ll be fine” you answered with as much pettiness as you could. You did not wait to see his reaction simply grabbing one of the doors and hoping he would do the same on the other side. You were now as close to the danes as you could without being outside the walls. You could hear the cries of terror from the women and children and it made you bite your lip hard, so much you could taste blood. You hated this, death and pain. The way men always choose to abuse the one that could not fend for themselves. You had seen first hand, you had been one.

“They are killing them” you whispered hoping no one could hear.

“They have women and children my lord”, shouted Osferth.

“The gates!” screamed Uhtred

You put yourself in action and opened the gates for the lord and his witch to pass. For a brief moment, your gaze met the one of the blond woman, and you thought you could see the hint of a smile on her face. You watched half hidden behind a guard as the lord negotiated with the dane called Blood hair. His energy, his aura, was as poisoned as Uthred’s. His curse, though, seemed to run deeper. It was now one with his bones, his blood, his very soul. When Uhtred punched the witch in the stomach and she fell down you cringed. You wanted to turn around and leave, not to have to look at this, but you could not. That was until you saw him. Your blood froze and your stomach turned. You could have thrown up on the spot if it wasn’t for the lack of things in your stomach.

“Y/n? Are you okay?”,you heard a voice but was unable to distinguish anything. Because in front of you, behind Sigurd, was Gorn. He looked exactly the same as the last time you saw him. Still as tall and terrifying. You could not move but thankfully you were well hidden behind the guard. Him seeing you would probably kill you on the spot. You felt arms shaking you and as if you just had fainted and regained consciousness you emerged from the fog of your own mind. Osferth looked worried and he was holding you close to his tall and lean body.

“He is here” you simply said, scared to say more.

He did not seem to understand but kept you close, shielding you from the view of others.

“It’s okay”, he said, his voice calm and soothing, “no one is going to hurt you”

And for a brief moment, you believed him. You find yourself seated, a very concerned Osferth fussing over you. He had given you water, asked if you wanted something to eat, or if you needed to lie down. You did not need any of these things. You needed to go back home, back to Alba, back to your parents house. The safety and comfort of a known place, this was what you needed. What you wanted though, was probably different. You wanted them dead. All of them.

“The man behind Blood hair. He was one of the men who kept me-”, your voice cracked. You saw a torrent of emotions cross his face and tears almost started rolling on your cheeks. Someone called for the both of you, but the voice seemed far away. Osferth gently led you inside. Lord Uhtred was speaking with the king, everyone surrounding them. You could not pay attention, so you just stood next to him in a dark corner of the room. You were grabbing his robes hard, trying to peak around his shoulder. The atmosphere was tense, and as you looked around you did not miss the side look of Osferth toward his father. You clenched your hand tighter and he seemed to feel it. He did not look at you but you felt his hand grab yours. Your skin against his had you blushing, but you found comfort in it. Way more than you should have.

When Finan left, you prayed for him to return safely and to find the mercians easily but when you found yourself on a horse next to Osferth and lord Uhtred, you started to pray for yourself. The adrenaline was pumping in your veins, making you forget about Gorn being somewhere in these woods. You needed to leave and with a bit of help from the gods, you would reach your goal safely. You rode until you reached Fearham. It was empty. No Finan and no army. Osferth looked like he shared your doubts because he immediately said:

“Is this the place lord? Is this Fearham?”

But almost as soon as the words left his mouth you could feel something happening. Finan was here, he was approaching, and the mercians with him. You smiled and looked at Uhtred who seemed to understand.

“Perhaps Finan did not make the journey.

-He did” you simply answered.

The moment you pronounced those words, Finan emerged from the top of the hill, the soldiers just behind. You did not miss the look of Sihtric and even less the one of Osferth. You did not wait for the fight to start and you made your way up the hill to join a woman with Osferth and Skade. As the sun was slowly appearing from behind you, you all watched the battle unfurl. The danes had the numbers, but the saxons had the advantage of the site. The fight was violent and deadly. Plenty of soldiers died, slayed by the blades of the enemy. Finally it was clear the saxon army had taken the advantage, and it only became clearer when you saw Blood hair, and even Gorn ride away like cowards.

“Do not yield Blood hair.” you heard Skade say.

For a second you pitied her but then you just said:

“Seemed like your master has definitely abandoned you this time”

She looked at you and you holded her gaze.

“We’ll see how that mouth works when Gorn will get you back.

-I’ll slit his throat before it happens.”

She probably saw in your eyes how serious you were, because she did not answer. Osferth was looking at you and you simply nodded at him. The victory was not celebrated for long as you and the rest of Alfred’s men all rode back to Winchester. You wished you could have been happy like the others, but the weird feelings of death you felt during the night did not disappear. You had thought that this dream had been about the hostages, even the battle. The feeling did not leave you, even when you slept a little this night. You were having the same dream, except this time you could hear the screams more distinctly. It was a woman. You woke up sweating and in pain. You could not explain it but you knew something was wrong. You wanted to say something, tell Uhtred that something was going on, but you did not want to spoil the happiness of everyone. You could feel the joy of Uhtred and Sihtric especially, as they were about to return to their wives and children. You kept quiet. Osferth had not said a thing about the events of a few days prior, he offered you polite smiles and when his pretty eyes fell on you, you could feel your heart beat faster. The casual conversations he initiated, just to make you feel less isolated you presumed, were the highlights of those days on the road. You had met a lot of men in your life, some you had loved from fraternal and deep love, and some other you had hated with a passion that could burn. None had ever made you feel like you did now. Which made the distance between you even more painful. You almost regretted having a horse of your own now, missing the feeling of his body. You felt like a lunatic, having thoughts like this about someone you barely knew. You probably were just starving for affection, having forgotten what gentle touches and genuine kindness felt like. You felt selfish for a moment but even that feeling of guilt did not stop the warm feeling in your chest. A question remained though. Once at Winchester, what would you do? You obviously could not leave just yet. You had made a promise to Uhtred that you would find a way to break his curse, but you knew that once in Winchester you won’t be able to do so. You needed nature, and time. Maybe you could sneak out with Finan or Sihtric outside of the walls to perform your ritual.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost” said Sihtric, his horse walking next to yours.

You had not talked much with him but he seemed like a good person. He was a fierce warrior, you had seen it first hand but there was more to him, in his eyes you could see it.

“I feel like something bad is going to happen. I can’t explain it.”

He looked at you for a moment and said:

“I always had doubts about seers, you know. I grew up amongst danes and I feel guided by the gods every day, but I did not believe for a long time that some people could see things that had happened or were going to happen. Then I lived and saw for myself that, indeed, some people could see things that I could not fathom” he marked a pause and directed his gaze in front of you.

“You knew Finan was going to come back with an army, didn’t you?

-I could feel it, when we were on that hill. Seeing the future, it’s not my specialty. I used to heal people, back at home. That’s what I do best. But I have been having dreams. Of someone dying. A woman,I think, that I do not know. I just did not want to ruin everyone's happiness.

-Are you sure it is that type of dream?”

You wish you could be sure, but the truth is that it could be anything. A reminiscence of your past, of the trauma and pain you had endured.

“I can’t say with certainty. But-

-But you still think it is.

-Yes”

He simply nodded at you, words obviously still unsaid. You did not press him to talk more, feeling like he had already said enough. You stayed silent until you reached Winchester and the joyous cries of the crowd. Winchester was bigger than you had expected, and there were way more people you thought there would be. This joy was contagious, as you started to smile despite the uneasy feeling that had made his nest in your heart. You were just behind the king and his son, and this is how you saw the very specific moment where everything went to shred. You saw Uhtred get off his horse, his triumphal look soon whipped away, leaving room for confusion and panic. He walked away to find a blond woman standing, waiting for him. You understood immediately when you saw the young babe in the arms of another one behind them. A cry of death and life. You closed your eyes, trying to contain the tears as your heart settled in that deep pit of sadness. Useless, powerless, that was what you were. You did not miss the reaction of Finan and even more the one of Sihtric. The man looked at you and you met his eyes. You could not decipher his expression but he could see yours clearly. You looked around you, lost, and you met the eyes of Osferth, incomprehension written on his features. Just next to him, it was Skade that was looking at you. She knew too. She had known for a long time, and like you, she had been useless.

No one said anything, because there was nothing to be said. You did not say anything to Uthred about your dream because what good would it have done? He needed to grieve, but first he needed to honour his wife. It was Finan that told you that Gisela was a pagan just like you. They still had the nerve to bury her in christian land, which you found insulting. At first you had the intention of staying inside the house and not say a word but it was Uhtred himself that called for you. You followed without a word. There was that same woman that you recognised from earlier. Her name was apparently Hild, and she was an Abbess at Winchester. A close friend of Uhtred, enough so that she had cared for his children since their mother’s death. You had simply nodded at her and walked with them toward the cemetery. You let her ask for her lord’s forgiveness before Finan and Uhtred started digging. You stayed silent, not knowing why exactly you were here. The moment was moving, full of sorrow and regrets. Everything felt heavy, like the air was weighting on you now, trying to put you underground with the other corpses. The body of Gisela was soon put on a pyre, Uhtred ready to light it.

“Could you-”

His voice cracked but you understood immediately. You came closer, taking the torch from Finan’s hands and you started. The songs of the druidess were famous even all the way down here, so far away from Alba. Even without music, you could feel the energy of nature all around you. They were mourning her too. As your voice elevated in the sky, you closed your eyes, and nodded at Uhtred. You put the torch near the base of the pyre and felt it catch on fire. You did not stop singing. The air was lighter but still full of sadness. But Gisela was going where she was supposed to. Even if she did not believe in the exact same gods you did, she would be welcome there, as their daughter. She would return to nature, to start a new life. Maybe she would even cross the sea all the way to the lands of the immortals. Maybe she will find peace with her ancestors. As you opened your eyes again, to see her remains flying high in the night sky, you thought it was beautiful. She was finally returning to her rightful place after being deprived from it for long enough. You ended the song, your melodious voice resounding all around you. In the language of your ancestors you wished her a good and safe journey, and stepped away. You had not looked around you while you were singing, only watching the dance of the flames, but now you saw how Finan and Abbess Hild’s eyes were on you. Uthred had his head low, but you could see his tears. He looked at you briefly and you simply offered a smile of compassion and understanding. Her soul was safe.

“The gods will welcome her, she is where she is supposed to be now”

You were calm, calmer than you had been in a while. Reconnecting with that part of yourself, even in the saddest way possible, was still appreciated. Finan looked like he was on the verge of tears. Even his christian soul had been moved by your song, the song of his people, that was a part of him as well. Abbess Hild looked sad as well. She did not say a thing, but you could see it in her eyes. Gisela had been a friend, and she too, was suffering. It was the noise of Uhtred’s sobs that distracted you. You approached him, your hand taking his. He looked at you, an expression of surprise on his face but he didn’t say a thing. Abbess Hild took his other hand, and Finan put his on Uhtred’s shoulder. And just like this you waited, until the fire was no more, having taken everything from Gisela.

#the last kingdom #osferth x reader #osferth the last kingdom #finan the last kingdom #sihtric #the last kingdom fanfic #reader insert #witch reader #uhtred of bebbanburg #uhtred the last kingdom

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renonv · 1 year ago

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genuine question from someone who’s been following for 5 years now and has long since left the hetalia fandom but still loves your art to bits - are spain and romano related? because you do ship art if i’m not wrong, and from what i remember in the show it depicts spain adopts romano, yet in the later seasons they’re treated as the same age. what’s up with that, if you don’t mind answering??? is it a fandom thing that we’re never gonna get an answer to????

Hi!! First of, thank you for being here for so long Omg? Sorry for all the disappearances

Short answer: In my personal perception and canon I’ve been creating of hetalia since I've joined the fandom, they are not.

Below is a more rambly long answer

Long answer: It doesn’t make sense for them to be, and I personally always hated that aspect of the manga/show with Romano being so much younger (doesn’t make fucking sense) and with people equating them to be brothers bc Spain asks him to call him that (cringe, but to me it never meant that he saw Romano as a brother figure, just an underling, but still it's all so cringe).

Hima is a freak and I don’t agree with a lot of stuff he put into Hetalia, but unfortunately this has become my hyper-fixation from a young age, so its been really hard for me to abandon this ship. I've been mentally tossing around the shit that comes with liking hetalia and how people see me for interacting with it, and it is one of the main reasons I’ve stopped making content for it for so long.

bc I can’t defend it, some shit in hetalia is just straight up bad. But over the years I’ve found people that think like me and also developed these better stories/relationships/ideas than Hima could, and together we had developed something that’s good with characters and an idea that was unfortunately poorly executed imo

There will always be people that do see them as siblings and honestly that ok because at this point it seems that hetalia is what certain people want it to be, that’s why I’m starting to put out my own head canons on the beginning of everything and such. I try not to interact w that stuff just bc that’s not something I agree with, but again people will do as people will.

But yeah I personally hate the incest, the gross pedo shit, and the poor take on whole World War Two situation, and the racism. And generally try to avoid interacting with people in the fandom that support those things.

Hope this makes sense!!

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sabo-has-my-heart · 1 year ago

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hey!! would you take a request for law / other op doctors dealing with stuff like toothaches? like a s/o who hates hates hates dentists and most medical things, but they end up with a cavity / toothache and what law would do in that situation?? idk i have this lil hc that he sees dentistry as a medical side quest of sorts lol, plus who else would the crew mates go to for toothaches and stuff u know??? idk dw if not i just thought it could be a sweet idea

So I actually had a bit of a harder time with this one so if you don't like it I deeply apologize. Ironically, I have a dentist appointment of my own on Monday, lol.

Warnings: dentists

Word Count: 980

Law crossed his arms as he gave you a hard look. You’d been avoiding him again, or rather, you’d been avoiding his check-ups again. As a doctor, he did the entire ship’s medical check-ups, because of his medical background, he’d briefly looked into other types of doctor work such as optometry and dentistry in his free time or on those nights where he couldn’t sleep and was up all night. While dentistry wasn’t exactly his favorite area of work, he refused to let the crew’s health suffer, even if it was oral health. You, however, hated the dentist, well, you hated most things that involved a doctor, but dentists were the worst. The constant scraping of your teeth, feeling the metal picks stab at your gums, the taste of iron in your mouth when they bled. The taste of the polish or whatever it was that they put on your teeth towards the end, that water in your mouth that was always suctioned out because they told you not to swallow it. Everything about dentists sucked in your opinion, so you avoided it as much as possible. You’d go in for your yearly medical check ups if you absolutely had to. You’d go in if you had an injury bad enough to need more than a bandaid, but you’d avoid your dentist check ups like the plague. It was why you brushed so well and took such good care of your teeth, so that you wouldn’t have to see him for dental work. That being said, some things couldn’t be avoided completely. Sometimes, no matter how well you brushed, you would get toothaches or cavities, this was one such moment. Now you’d been avoiding Law as much as possible because you knew he’d notice, you knew he’d figure out what was wrong; though it seemed as if he’d figured it out anyway. Sighing, he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I keep telling you, you need-” “but I brush really well! You know that! The last check up, you said my teeth looked great!” you whined, cutting him off, not wanting to hear him lecturing you.

“That doesn’t mean that you won’t have complications from time to time. It’s the same reason I give yearly check ups, to catch this early, so this doesn’t happen.” he said, lecturing you anyway. You looked away, crossing your arms as you did so. Part of you knew he was right, but that didn’t mean you had to like it.

“Come on, let’s get a look before it gets worse. I don’t want to have to sedate you and surgically remove the entire tooth.” he said, gesturing for you to follow him, something you did rather reluctantly. Sitting in the chair, you fidgeted as Law got things ready, setting out the various instruments that he’d need. Staring at the various metal pieces, you couldn’t help but cringe at the sight of the sharp metal pick that you knew you’d be feeling against your teeth. The scraping that you swore you could feel up into your brain, that felt like was scratching against your very mind.

After what felt like an eternity of Law scraping, sighing, and shaking his head, the normally stoic doctor pulled away, giving you another look. One that told you all you needed to know. He was going to tell you something was wrong, followed by another lecture.

“Can… can we skip the lecture this time? I get it, I should have asked you to do this sooner, I’ll be… I’ll try to be better next time.” you pleaded, making the man sigh for probably the millionth time in the last hour.

“Fine, but if this happens again, I make your yearly check ups madatory.” Law threatened, giving you a very serious, very hard look. At the moment, it was mostly something he suggested, something he preferred the crew to keep up on, but he didn’t enforce it. Meaning he was serious about this. Getting out the things he’d need, you cringed, you recognized what he was grabbing, you had a cavity. Despite your best efforts, you had a cavity.

“Don’t give me that look, Y/n. It’s just one, you’re fine.” he said as he had you open your mouth again. You swore you could feel him filing the cavity in the same way you could feel the scraping, the sensation making you want to squirm. You knew if you did, Law would scold you and tell you to sit still, but that didn’t really help, finding the whole process to be highly uncomfortable. Finally, finally, the man finished, setting his tools down and sitting upright.

“There, you’re done.” Law said, pulling his mask down. You almost jumped out of the chair, moving your jaw as you tried to get the sensation of the dental tools out of your brain. As always, your mouth felt strange, but your teeth no longer hurt and you could escape, which was all that mattered to you right now as you started heading towards the door only to be stopped once more by Law, his hand around your wrist.

“I mean it, Y/n. Don’t wait so long next time. I don’t like it when your health suffers when it can be easily avoided.” he said softly. You gave him a soft smile and nodded, he hated seeing you in pain or discomfort, especially when he was able to do something to fix it. Law placed a soft kiss to the top of your head, happy that you were feeling better. You couldn’t help but love moments like this, moments where it was just the two of you, moments where Law would show you how sweet he was. Even if the moment was being shared after the ‘torture’ of getting your teeth taken care of and standing next to all the dental instruments.

#one piece #one piece law #op law #trafalgar one piece #one piece trafalgar law #trafalgar law #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar d water law x reader #trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar law x reader #law x reader

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hetalia-club · 3 months ago

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Giving you this bc ur like, the only hetalia blog i still follow that still posts. But like.

Okay back in 2018-2019(?) i had a pretty big hetalia phase, i watched hetafacts videos n every episode that was on YouTube, i listened to the music on repeat. It was a major hyperfixation before i knew that i was autistic.

For the longest time after i stopped, engaging with hetalia for some reason i would. Cringe really hard whenever i saw anything hetalia related. Like. On ao3 when you go to search things it tells you how to search things and one i got (and keep getting) is like "hetalia tag:f/f" or something idk how proper ao3 searches work. Id like screenshot it and go to my friends n say "it haunts me" or some shit.

But like recently ive been. Embracing that part of my past? I guess? Like. Almost like coming to terms with it? Idk i started having a less bad reaction n like, realized it probably one of the more normal fandoms i was in. I was, cringe, as all kids are, but i was. Happy.

And then like. At a sleepover a few weeks ago, one thing leads to another and im telling my friend abt the songs and how ich leibe is. Just a recipe, and how i used to listen to almost all of the songs. I show them the clip of France trying to get England to sign a marriage contract, America ordering fucking condoms from Russia.

It has been at least 2 weeks since, and i can feel the hyperfixation coming back, half the music ive been listening too again is hetalia character songs (theyre so fucking good???) and ive been getting. Urges to watch the show and. I dont know how to feel or what to do?? Like. I'm afraid almost to get back into hetalia? Like i watched black butler a while ago, and i realized how. Theres some weird fucking tension between ceil n sebastian n i think im afraid im going to have that same reaction to hetalia?

Cause like there is shit i just completely forgot about. Like. The Bad Touch Trio. And im scared man.

Im sorry to fuckin, give you all of this, but i just. I dont know what to do ig. None of my friends like or used to like hetalia, the one i do info dump hetalia stuff too does not like hetalia and is learning shit about it against their will.

Idk, should i watch the show again? Is it, good? I genuinely can't remember anymore.

Sorry for using ur ask box like a confessional

I mean I’m right there with you man. The sole reason I am still in the Hetalia fandom is because hetalia got me through some real dark chapters and events in my life. I discovered Hetalia years ago in Highschool while with a very abusive ex who had to know everything I was doing at any given time. He wouldn’t let me go anywhere without him there. I tried to break up with him but he actually wouldn’t let me. He would threaten to off himself if I did so I felt bad because his mom was an alcoholic and his houses burned down. I stopped really going anywhere at all because if I did he would come with me and he ruined my relationships with most of my friends just by being ‘the worst’. I stopped cheerleading, I got depression really bad, I started to do terrible in all my classes but I discovered Hetalia while on deviant art and was instantly intrigued. It was like “idk what this is but I will now make it my personality”

Years later while with my most recent abusive Ex that I just broke up with last November I got back into Hetalia when our relationship started to get really bad and hard to cope wit on my own. I needed an escape and something to help me avoid him and no care so much about his insults something that I could think about instead of being sad all the time. Hetalia is something that just brings me joy. Instead of venting to people, getting therapy or increasing my meds Hetalia was just always there to go back to and escape. No idea what it is about it. Won’t go into details about the relationship, it’s irrelevant right now but I’m sure you can guess.

To answer your question, no Hetalia isn’t ‘good’ it makes zero sense and is confusing as hell. But for me it’s fun to use as a spring board for basically any kind of AU I could think up. The characters can fit into any type of situation you want to shove them in.

I would say give it a rewatch, as much as you want anyway. What is the worst that could happen? You continue an interest that brought you joy? Worst case. You are a bit cringe? Who cares if you are cringe if you are happy? Also not encouraging you to live a double life but if you are embarrassed to like Hetalia you don’t actually have to tell anyone how obsessed with it you are. No one but my ex knows how much I like Hetalia and he really has no idea just how deep I am in this shit. But if people knowing about one of your interests humiliates you then just don’t share it. At the end of the day it’s your comfort and it makes you happy it’s no one’s business.

There are a lot of old fandom tropes that have disappears the BTT being one of them. They put them as a group still but I guess they call it ‘bad friends ti’ now. There are still some things that make me side eye. But that’s every fandom I feel. You can choose who you wish to associate with and who you want to block or avoid. It’s your blog you don’t own an explanation to anyone.

Personally I don’t interact much with the people of the fandom itself I got a few people it talk to every now and again but really i just do my own thing. I write my own fics for myself. I got my little tumblr, discord and TikTok, I post about my little AUs and dumb thoughts and continue on. If people want to follow me that’s great, welcome. If they don’t that’s cool to!

Thanks for sticking around with me even after your Interest in Hetalia fizzled out tho haha! That had to be difficult I am very annoying at times I’m sure 😭.

Again worst thing that could happen than if you are a bit cringe. But not being cringe is boring as hell. Irl I’m one of the most normal bitches you could find. Carbon copy white girl. Absolutely no one would guess I were a Hetalia obsessed loser irl. In a line up you could not pick me out and guess my interests. So in February I got my hair done right? I got like. 500 dollar biolage it fades from brown to strawberry blonde. Want to know the reason I got this hair style? Because of Italy that’s why. I wanted red hair like him. Did I tell anyone that? No. When people said they liked my hair and asked me why I went red I would just go “idk just felt like it” but I would be thinking about him knowing the real answer.

Good luck anon, if you stick around welcome back the water is fine. If you don’t can you toss me that life vest up there if you don’t mind? Thank you!

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steddiealltheway · 2 years ago

Text

Part Five of Alone Together :))))) Part One. Part Four. AO3 Link.

Steve looks around his living room, fully decked out in holiday decorations because the kids insisted that just the tree wasn’t enough. He doesn’t know where they got the energy from. Probably the leftover sugar cookies.

He wanders around, giving the bottom of the catwalk a wide berth where someone had slyly tied up mistletoe. Sometimes he really hates love – or rather the PDA that comes with love. Maybe he’s just lonely.

Or maybe he’s jealous because everyone has the real thing while he has... a pact. A pact that can’t be spoken about or else it might destroy the whole situation. And Steve would rather be alone together rather than alone and heartbroken. Plus, he can’t ruin everyone else’s fun if him and Eddie suddenly get extremely awkward around each other.

But Steve knows that things are better when they’re fake even when they seem real. Because he always disappoints when it comes to the real deal.

Steve finds himself back on his couch, noting how it feels too big and cold. He misses Eddie. It’s crazy because he’s seen him nonstop for days now, but he can’t help it.

The doorbell rings.

Steve springs up and sprints towards the door flinging it open. “Hey Ed-”

Robin raises her eyebrows. “Definitely not Eddie.” Steve sighs. “Hey now, I thought I was your best friend! Don’t look too disappointed to see me,” Robin says stepping past Steve and into the house.

“Sorry. And hey, I distinctly remember you complaining for months whenever I showed up at your house instead of Nancy. Speaking of, where is she? I thought you two and all the other couples were inseparable,” Steve jokes but it comes out a little too serious.

Robin sighs and holds out a tub of ice cream Steve didn’t realize she had carried in. “I thought we could hang out like old times. Ice cream for dinner. Got your Scoops uniform around here?” Robin jokes.

“God, no,” Steve lies. It’s in his closet with some dried blood caked into the collar still, but for some reason he can’t throw it away. The memories with Robin seem to trump the Russians, but that’s probably because of the truth serum and likely concussion.

He realizes Robin is still standing there with ice cream in her bare hands. Steve takes the ice cream and makes his way to the kitchen digging in his drawers for two spoons. “Where are your gloves? It’s freezing outside.”

“I forgot them in Nancy’s car, but it’s not like I’m planning on going outside today.” Steve nods and takes a stab into the ice cream. “So,” Robin says in the tone that means she’s about to pry about something, “you and Eddie.”

Steve shovels a large scoop of ice cream into his mouth to try to get out of answering that for a few moments longer. He shrugs as the ice cream melts, but Robin continues to stare, not letting him out of this one. “We, uh, made a pact. With all the couples being all...” Steve cringes realizing Robin is included in the bunch, but he continues, “Well, it was hard to enjoy all the holiday stuff, so I told Eddie about it. He suggested that instead we should pair up – single together or a promised holiday date.”

Robin continues to stare at him as if she’s expecting more. “That’s it?” she questions.

“Yeah,” Steve says avoiding eye contact as he digs for more ice cream.

“Bullshit.”

Steve looks up at his best friend and sees the determination in her gaze. “Okay, fine. Maybe I have feelings for him or something. But that’s probably just all the holiday spirit stuff! And who knows if he likes me, too. You know how flirtatious he is, and he loves to play a part – that’s why he loves D&D so much, you know?”

Robin rests her spoon on her bottom lip and seems to consider what he said. “Well, he’s playing the part really well. Come on, he’s liked you since you ripped that damn bat apart. Need I remind you of the ‘big boy’ comment?”

Steve’s cheeks flush as he recalls the exact moment that made him question his whole sexuality. He had talked to Robin after everyone was sure that Vecna was dead, and she had been really cool about it – after she had screamed about how she knew it. He had gotten over the crisis pretty quickly and thought not too much of it. Steve Harrington liked girls and boys and that was that.

Of course, it was easier to date girls because it was Hawkins, and there were only a handful of people who weren’t straight. That is until his entire friend group had started to come out. Being so close to death kind of makes things like that seem less consequential. But Steve knows that he’s lucky to have such a supportive network of people. So, he had started to look at boys more, but weirdly enough it seemed like he only had eyes for Eddie.

“Thoroughly reminded, thanks,” Steve says breaking out of his memories. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “I just think for now it’s easier testing the waters. I’ll talk to him eventually once all the holiday hanging out dies down or something. I just don’t want to jinx anything and make the group feel like they have to tiptoe around the two of us if it goes wrong.”

“You realize that all of us toe that line already with the risk of accidentally breaking up the group if we break up, right? Don’t you think it’ll be better to know it’s all real than to find out it was one sided and get your heart broken in the process?” Robin questions offering up a really good point that Steve just can’t listen to at the moment.

“I’d rather have him this way than not at all,” Steve replies.

Robin’s expression turns sympathetic, and Steve really doesn’t want to be pitied right now. Luckily, his phone rings before Robin can say anything.

Steve answers it quickly, “Harrington residence.”

“Steve, look outside! It’s snowing! Get your ass over to the Wheeler’s right now! I have to call Eddie next, bye!” Dustin yells into the phone.

“You heard all that from there, right?” Steve asks Robin.

“Yep,” she says popping the ‘p.’

“Come on, let’s get you some gloves and warmer clothes. I guess we’re going outside after all.”

-:-:-:-:-:-

The snow is falling harder than he imagined it would and is sticking to the ground as he pulls into the Wheeler’s driveway and parks behind Eddie’s van. His heart pounds, and he hesitates to get out of the car.

“You ready?” Robin asks him, gloved hand resting on top of his.

Steve gives her a tight smile and nods. He climbs out of his car only to immediately get pelted with something. Then again. And again. He brushes the snow off his coat and yells, “I still have the nail bat in my trunk!”

The kids jump out from behind Eddie’s van with their hands up. “It’s just snowballs!” Max yells. One of Eleven’s hands drop to wipe her nose.

Steve rolls his eyes. “Snowballs being thrown with El’s powers are not just snowballs.”

El guiltily smiles at him. Eddie’s head pops out from behind the van as he questions, “Nail bat?”

Robin comes up from where she was hiding behind Steve’s car. “Oh, you still have a lot to catch up on, but Steve will fill you in on it inside.” Steve feels her push him forward, but instead of walking forward he stops and bends down.

“I’ll fill him in later, but for now...” Steve quickly scoops up a snowball and throws it towards the group. It hovers in the air right before it reaches Max. Steve nods and looks at El, “Redirect that towards Dustin, would you?”

“You asshole- Oof!” Dustin takes a moment to brush the snow off his face and hair before looking angrily at Steve. “Oh, it’s on!”

“El no powers!” Steve yells as he hurries to make another snowball.

A huge snowball fight breaks out across the Wheeler’s front yard. At first, it’s a free for all, but slowly, all the couples begin to team up. Except El and Eddie who seemingly disappear. It becomes very apparent which person in the couples are using the other as a human shield – Max, Mike, Robin, Jonathan, and Dustin.

Steve thinks he’s doing pretty well on his own, until he sees the snowball Lucas has just thrown coming directly at him. He braces himself, but the snowball never comes.

“Oof! Shit!” Steve opens his eyes to find Eddie on the ground in front of him. He gives him a pained smile.

“What are you doing?” Steve says with a laugh.

“Making sure you don’t get reconcussed. Lucas has a strong arm,” Eddie comments rubbing at his chest. Steve looks around before he lays next to Eddie on the ground. “What are you doing?” Eddie asks, looking towards him.

“Making a snow angel,” Steve says, doing exactly that. He feels ridiculous and likely looks so too, but this doesn’t stop Eddie from joining him. Steve laughs as Eddie simultaneously attempts to catch snowflakes in his mouth.

“Ready to look at the masterpieces?” Steve asks propping himself up on his elbows.

“Always,” Eddie says, hopping up to his feet and helping Steve up. They turn and look down. They’re… something. The wings are a bit overlapped in the middle, and Steve is sure they both could’ve spent a few more minutes on them but... “They’re perfect,” Eddie says with a toothy grin.

“I couldn’t agree more,” Steve replies, smile equally as big. He takes a glance around and finds all the others joining in to make snow angels. He turns back to find Eddie messing with the heads of their angels. “What are you doing?”

Eddie looks over his shoulder and says, “You’ll see.” A few seconds later he stands up and steps back. “What do you think?”

Steve takes in the additions – devil horns on Eddie’s and a halo over Steve’s. He snorts and rests his head on Eddie’s shoulder. “I love it.”

“I love y-” Eddie chokes back what he was going to say. Steve’s heart races. He’s going to eventually go into cardiac arrest over this boy.

He’s about to turn to ask him if he was saying what he thought when there’s a shout from the Wheeler’s front door, “Hot chocolate is ready!” Karen shouts out. The kids all rush towards the door, stomping the snow off their shoes and brushing it off their jackets.

Steve takes a careful step away from Eddie and follows the other inside. He wants more than anything to hold Eddie’s hand while he goes inside, but he’s not sure how Karen and Ted would react. And he really doesn’t need his parents hearing and coming home early.

While everyone drinks cocoa, Steve notices Eddie steadily avoiding eye contact with him, choosing to distance himself as far as he can. His smile doesn’t reach his eyes like it did before, and Steve needs to talk to him.

Karen approaches the group announcing, “Okay, everyone, you’re spending the night here. I don’t want anyone driving on those roads. Boys and girls will obviously be in separate rooms. You guys can work out who will be in what room. The living room and basement along with the guest bedroom are all free.”

Everyone hides their smiles behind the rims of their mug. Lucas assures Dustin that they’ll hang out while El and Max tell Suzie how excited they are to have a sleepover together.

“Will and I will get my room,” Mike says immediately.

Karen peaks her head around the corner and asks, “Lucas and Dustin, too?”

Steve and Eddie make eye contact and Eddie has to bite down on his lip to not laugh while Mike stutters but finally gives in. Eddie seems to remember that he was avoiding Steve’s gaze and looks away again.

“Robin can take my room,” Nancy says with a small smile.

“Jonathan and I will get that living room as long as I get that comfy looking chair,”

“Can we get the guest bedroom?” El asks, gesturing towards her, Max, and Suzie. Everyone agrees.

Steve looks towards Eddie who stares into his mug. “I guess Eddie and I will get the basement.”

“I have extra pajamas for the girls,” Nancy says standing up and shooting Mike a look.

Mike rolls his eyes. “I’ll get some extra pajamas for the guys.”

“I’ll sleep in my clothes, man. They’re comfy,” Argyle says looking down at his sweats that are somehow not wet from the snow.

“I have extra clothes in my car,” Steve offers.

“Why do you have extra clothes in your car?” Max questions.

Shit. How does he explain that he sometimes sleeps in his car when his parents are home?

“Gym clothes?” Eddie gives Steve an easy out.

“Yeah, gym clothes and whenever I want to change out of work clothes,” Steve lies. Everyone takes the answer and makes their way to their rooms.

Steve grabs the clothes from his car, finding two sweatshirts, three t-shirts, and three pairs of sweatpants for him, Eddie, and Jonathan. He offers the clothes to Jonathan first who thanks him, then Steve heads down to the basement.

Eddie is awkwardly curled up in a chair, pretending to be comfortable. Steve holds out the stack of clothes to him then heads to the bathroom. Once he’s out and changed, Eddie goes next. Steve gathers up a few blankets and quilts from the corner and makes himself comfortable on the couch.

Eddie exits the bathroom and heads toward the chair again.

“Eddie, wait,” Steve requests. Eddie freezes in front of the chair and glances towards Steve. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Eddie says. The tightness in his tone gives away the lie.

“Okay enough to join me?” Steve asks, lifting up the blankets. Eddie stares at him for a moment then makes his way over to the couch. It’s a tighter squeeze this time since the couch is way smaller, but Eddie still chooses to face Steve.

Steve can’t help but tuck a curl behind Eddie ear. “You look good in my clothes.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asks with a soft chuckle.

“Yeah.” Steve leans forward and presses a soft kiss to his forehead. “Goodnight, Eddie.”

“Goodnight, Steve. Can we leave the light on?”

“Of course.”

Steve wants more than anything to take advantage of this moment alone, but he isn’t going to make a move when Eddie is obviously feeling off. Instead, he reaches down and tangles their fingers together. Eddie squeezes his hand and closes his eyes.

Steve drifts off thinking that this all feels pretty damn real, so continuing the avoid this talk can do no harm. But he dreams of it all blowing up in their faces.

Part Six.

Tag List :)))

@eddiesbabe95 @hagbaby420 @grtwdsmwhr @mightbeasleep @saramelaniemoon @bidisastersworld @spectrum-spectre @henderdads @wrenisflying

#steddie #steddie christmas #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie fanfic

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yesimwriting · 1 year ago

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If we're in an ethan mood 👀

Could you write something like little snippets of ethan developing a crush on mc and then the moment he's like "oh wait a minute... i LIKE her"

Only if you're comfortable doing so of course!

a/n he'd be such a cutie during his pining era pls and in total denial about it

----

"Sam's gonna kill us."

Tara's eyes briefly flicker towards your reflection in the mirror. You give yourself a second to feel how quickly time can change things. If you had accidentally said something like that as recently as a month ago, Tara would have torn into you. Ranting and asking you if you really thought that was funny. But now, the hyperbole barely warrants a glance in your direction.

"She's not our mom," Tara scoffs, attention shifting back to her eyeliner immediately.

And while that's true...you're not sure you want to seem like you're taking a specific side in one of their weird, sisterly power stand offs. Despite being one of their roommate's, you've managed to expertly avoid getting caught in the middle most of the time.

Even though you're the one trying to be the voice of reason, your attention turns back to the blush you were blending into your cheek. "Yeah, true..." You rub your beauty blender against the apple of your cheek. "But still, I don't want it to like...be a thing."

"It won't be," Tara counters quickly, "We might be home before her." Yeah, heavy on the might. Tara already made it clear that she wasn't in the mood to take tonight lightly. "And if we're not, who cares?" Tara straightens before setting down her eyeliner. "She'll be angsty about it and then move on. I didn't ask her to come to school with me."

That's something you for sure won't be commenting on. "Whatever." You reach for a tube of lipgloss. "Let the record reflect I tried."

"Yeah, you tried really hard."

You let out a breath that's almost a laugh, "Shut u--"

The last part of your sentence is cut off by the sound of knocking. It feels faint, but you know it has to be loud if it's being heard over Tara's pre-night out playlist.

"Oh," you mumble, setting down your still closed tube of lipgloss, "It's the guys."

Tara's expression morphs into a knowing smile. "Excited?"

You know exactly what she's getting. "Shut up." You turn towards the bathroom door before pausing and cringing at your mistake, "And I don't know what you're talking about."

"Which one of us invited Ethan to what was supposed to be a girl's night out?"

You roll your eyes, "And Chad."

She gives you a look that says she sees right through you. "Think it'd be better if you liked Chad." Now it's your turn to give her a 'I know about what you're pretending isn't a crush' stare. "Not like--I mean--at least we know he's safe."

This again. The continuous slight distrust of Ethan. You can't blame her or any of the other four people you've come unbelievably close with in a few months time for being so untrusting. You kind of knew about what happened to them before meeting them, some guy in the lecture you had with Tara tapped you on the shoulder. That's the serial killer sister girl.

That piece of gossip led to you doing something not great, but fair--a google deep dive that almost made you flinch when Tara then got paired with you for an ice breaker, syllabus week activity. After your friendship formed, many nights spent walking around the city and late night calls about the nightmare roommate you were randomly paired to dorm with eventually led to you moving in after the summer session ended.

By then you were friendly with what Chad likes to call the core four and they opened up slowly about their trauma slowly. You get it. You try to get it, but every time they flash their inherent distrust they remind you of how easy it would be for them to close ranks, cut you off and leave you for the wolves. It's not a fair insecurity, which is why you've decided to keep it to yourself.

"Tara we've been over this," you scratch the back of your wrist, suddenly feeling small, "I'm just as much a rando to you as Ethan."

Tara shakes her head once, eyes softening a little, "Yeah, but you're a rando that's like my best friend." Her eyes leave yours briefly and you're hit with the impression that this is hard for her. Tara's never given you the impression of being particularly touchy-feely, and you know what happened with one of her last close friendships. "So..."

You try not to beam, not wanting her to regret saying something like that so openly. "So..." You repeat, kind of teasing. "I should go get the door." As if on cue, another round of sharp knocking cuts through the base of the music.

You turn away before you can overthink and approach the front door. "Hey, guys," you grin as you pull the door open.

Chad and Ethan are waiting in the apartment's hall. "Y/n," Chad greets warmly, one hand moving to squeeze your shoulder as he steps into the apartment's entryway.

Even though Tara might be a tiny bit right about why you invited Chad and Ethan, you definitely don't mind that Chad's your easiest way to get Ethan to hang out with you guys without having to worry about seeming weird. Chad's a good guy beneath the stereotypical former high school jock thing. He's fun and nice and you have a feeling he really cares about Tara.

"Tara's still in the bathroom fixing her eyeliner." You keep your voice breezy, casual even though you know exactly why you're telling him.

For a second, you think he might call you out on your not-so-subtle pushing, but he just smiles casually. It must be so easy to think like a guy. "I'm gonna say hi."

He walks around you, offering your shoulder one last friendly squeeze as he passes. Ethan steps further into the living room, lingering like he's unsure on whether or not he's supposed to be following Chad.

"Hey," you greet, "Guess what?"

Ethan blinks. He's gotten used to your typically friendly demeanor, but sometimes when it's directed at him he isn't sure how to take it. You're pretty and warm and caring about your existence is not part of the plan. If anything, it's the opposite. He knows how close you are to Tara, how much Sam's opinion matters to you.

"What?"

"Your econ notes totally saved my life." There's genuine relief in your voice, and Ethan is glad that he's a part of that. "Just saw my quiz grade and I got a 97 on it."

Ethan lets himself smile, "That's great."

"A lot better than my last one." You hate that you don't know where to go with this. "You're in intro to comp this semester, right?"

He nods, "Yeah." Ethan straightens his posture, angling his body more towards you. "...I have Charleston."

You immediately cringe, exhaling a low wince. "Ouch. I had him for summer term, he's crazy harsh."

"Yeah," Ethan agrees, "Learned that after my first essay."

Your eyebrows pull together. "He' snot all bad once you get him figured out."

Ethan fights down a smile, "Of course you'd say that." It had been a bit of a running joke between the friend group that you never seemed to have issues with any professor or TA. That you always found one way or another to connect to or figure them out.

You groan, "Shut up." Ethan suppresses a laugh. "I was going to offer you my notes and feedback I got from my summer class, but now I don't know."

"No..." Ethan doubts that you'd ever be vindictive enough to keep your notes from anyone. Even if that was a concern, he still wouldn't be too worried. His grades are fine and his priorities are a little different these days. But still, he likes the thought of getting access to something like one of your essays. A chance for more insight into you. "C'mon, please."

You tilt your head slightly, eyes narrowing in mock debate. "Okay." With no warning, you turn towards the direction of your room. Ethan follows you.

Ethan lingers in the doorway as you approach the desk tucked into the corner of your room. "You can come in," you mumble, a little confused about his hesitance.

He steps in, letting himself take in your bedroom. Ethan's been here before for brief periods of time. He's gotten glimpses while the group waited for you to grab something you forgot before going out or while you searched through your school supplies before an econ study session. But he still hasn't gotten tired at look at it, at noting the posters on your wall and the collage of you and your friends that you're always adding to.

His eyes linger on that, the photos taped up on your wall. There are a few new ones, one of you and Tara and Sam at a coffee shop. There's even a mirror picture of you and Quinn at some store...something he'd definitely have to ask his sister about. A new photo of you and Chad that makes his chest feel tight. It's a quick snapshot, you a few steps ahead of Chad who looks like he didn't realize you were taking a photo until the flash started going off. You're both holding cones of ice cream and Mindy's arm is in the corner.

He looks down, eyes focusing on another photo. You're grinning, arm extended upwards to take a picture of you and the person across from you. Him.

"New pictures?"

You turn in your desk chair. "Yeah, I printed some more out last week."

Ethan points at the picture that's just the two of you, "I like this one."

You look up from the bottom desk drawer you were rifling through, "That one's one of my favorites."

Ethan feels the offhanded comment in his chest. Heat tries to crawl its way up his neck. "You--you look nice in it."

"You look cute," you mumble, "I like your hair like that."

He's glad for the low lighting and the excuse to keep his back to you. If it wasn't for that, you'd definitely be able to say the blood rushing to his face. He looks back at the picture, noting the slightly tousled look of his hair. You turn your attention back to your desk and Ethan lightly brushes his hair with his fingers.

"Okay..." You pull out a folder and a notebook. "All of it's here--you can grab it when we get back or whenever." You sit up, relaxing against your seat. "I just needed to find it now because drunk me wouldn't be able to and hung over definitely won't remember."

The potential excuse to come back here at the end of night feels like a sort of promise. The trust that the comment is displaying isn't lost him either. You're planning on drinking and probably coming home extremely out of it and you don't have any issue with him being around for that.

Ethan knows you're probably not thinking that far ahead, but you must, at least, feel that way subconsciously. He knows you're the kind to be aware of that kind of thing, has heard snippets of your conversation with the other girls about staying vigilant every night out.

"Yeah, I'll grab it tonight. We've got an essay due on Friday that I haven't even started."

You scrunch up your face for a second in pained empathy. "If you need any help with it, just let me know." You tap your nails against the side of your knee. "...When I'm sober again."

"Yeah," Ethan nods, "For sure."

----

"Y'know approximately 42% of cabs are in New York."

The number feels generous--and random--but you always seem to know things.

"Actually?"

You giggle, the sound full. "No." The admission is soft as you turn away from the window, still laughing. "I don't--I don't know." You tilt your head curiously, and for a second, Ethan thinks the movement might indicate the return of your earlier dizziness. He straightens like he might need to stabilize you again. It's then that he realizes how close you are. "I made it up."

Even though that was obvious to the only person in the room that didn't set a new personal best in number of shots taken in an hour, you're smilingly so kindly he doesn't have the heart to point that out. "You made it up?"

You nod slowly, like one too sharp motion is all it'd take to topple you over. "And you believed me."

Ethan angles his chin downwards. "Not sure I did."

"You bought it for like a second though, right?"

You're watching him carefully, desperate to find any kind of crack in his expression that might prove you right. A part of him wants to push. The rest of him is too placated by your slight smile and steady gaze. "...Maybe for a second."

A beat passes. The two of you continue to openly watch each other. You snap out of it by bending your fingers into a fist. You gently bump your knuckles against his arm. "Knew it."

Your fist briefly lingers, brushing down his arm as you take your hand back rather than just pulling it away. Ethan doesn't get the warmth that crawls up his face.

With no warning, you pull away entirely. You walk past Ethan and slowly make your way to the bed. As soon as it's within reach, you lose all sense of care and flop onto the mattress like you're exhausted.

You go from sitting to flat on your back so quickly Ethan briefly wonders if you've fallen asleep. "Y/n?"

"Hm?" You turn your head sharply from one side to another. Still conscious. "Tired."

There's something soft about the way you say it, half mumbled and drowsy. "I know, but you--you can't--" He's not sure how to express what he's thinking without sounding like he's trying to cross a line. You're still in going out clothes, nothing extreme but the mainly form fitting outfit can't be comfortable enough to sleep with. And he knows you have a thing against sleeping without taking your makeup first. "Can't sleep like that."

You lift an arm in the air just to drop it across your chest. There's a flurry of words that follows the motion, but they're all mushed together and too quiet for Ethan to make out. "At least tell me where your pajamas are."

Another mesh of words. Somewhere in the collage of sentences you manage to get out, "Top-second-second-to-top drawer."

Ethan approaches your dresser, picking out a T-shirt and some pajama shorts he's seen you wear to movie nights before. He sets them down next to you. "You've gotta..."

You stretch an arm upwards, waving once in a way that feels dismissive. Your hand then drops down with no warning, wiping at your eyes before you slowly sit up, one hand reaching for the hem of your top.

Ethan's eyes widen. After a second of mental buffering, the sense to turn around. He forces his attention to remain on your walls. "Y/n." It's meant to sound partially stern, maybe even a little scolding, but his voice's pitch comes out a little too breathy near the end of your name. He'd probably be embarrassed by the sudden shift if you were more sober. You might not even remember Ethan being here tomorrow morning outside of a vague awareness.

Still, knowing that you're changing out of that tiny skirt and low cut top less than three full feet away from him...

Ugh. He tells himself that it's because you're nice to him and you're an objectively pretty girl. And all that planning stuff with his dad and his sister makes it hard to even think about girls. He's living a half life, letting himself enjoy the sense of friendship his false life is giving him from time to time while still staying focused. Anything romantic would be too complicated.

But still, he's a young guy and you always smell nice and you're pretty and you always go out of your way to include him things and--it's all biology. Attraction's understandable, it's not like he has a crush on you or anything.

"Okay." The reminder of his current makes his face feel warm. "You're safe. Y'can turn around."

Your words come out slurred enough that Ethan wonders if he should give you an extra second or two just to make sure. He turns around slowly, ready to snap his head back around if necessary.

True to your word, you're dressed, shorts barely peaking out from under your oversized tee. He should feel less now that you're more dressed and look a lot more casual. "G-good." He swallows in an attempt to make his throat feel less dry.

You sit down at the edge of your bed, "Mhm."

"You think you can wash your makeup off?" The question feels awkward. Ethan watches as you cross your legs beneath you. "You just--you never like when you wake up with makeup still on."

Your head tilts a little too sharply to one side, a lazy smile on your face. "That's nice, but 'm okay." Ethan considers protesting, but as if to make your point you wipe at your eyes. "Are you--going back?"

The question takes a second to click. Ethan had come over to the apartment you share with the Carpenters and his sister with Chad, like usual. Chad had completely crashed on the living room couch almost immediately after walking back from the party. It isn't the first time he's slept something off here, and Ethan definitely didn't mind the alone time. "Uh--yeah."

"It's kinda late," you mumble, "You can--you can stay here if you want." It's said so innocently Ethan almost thinks he might of misheard you.

"Here?"

"Mhm." You move up your bed, pushing back your sheets and semi-awkwardly crawling beneath them. "Sleepover."

Ethan's face has to be red. If you notice, you don't give any indication of even understanding why this might feel a little odd. He should let you down gently with some kind of excuse about having so much homework that he has to start first thing in the morning. "You sure?"

Your head is already on your pillow, "Yeah." It's more of a hum than an actual response. You're already half asleep. "We're friends."

It's not a big deal. Objectively, Ethan knows that that's true. Quinn can have whole relationships and flings and whatever else she does to make the time pass. Ethan can handle sharing a bed with you to keep things seeming normal and avoid a later walk than he wanted.

"Okay," his voice feels strained, tight, "Yeah if--if you're okay with it."

"Mhm." You push yourself to one side of your bed lazily. "We can--we can go to that brunch place tomorrow, if you're--" You trail off, voice growing lighter like you're falling asleep.

Ethan approaches your bed slowly even though he doubts he'd be able to wake you on purpose, let alone intentionally. You don't stir as he gets into bed, not even reacting as his fingertips brush against your arm.

He lets himself relax, eyes shutting. After a second, he feels the bed shift. A weight finds itself onto his shoulder. Ethan squints his eyes open, blood rushing to his face at the realization that your temple's now resting against his arm.

----

"Ugh," you sigh, glaring at your phone.

Ethan looks up from his coffee cup. "What?"

You shake your head. "It's nothing." You set down your phone and pick up your own drink. "Just that this girl that got put in my group with in Lucille's class has been ghosting our project group chat but she keeps posting herself hanging out with her friends on Instagram." You take a quick sip of your beverage. "She won't do her part, but she can take time out of her beach day to comment that my powerpoint slides are busy."

He frowns, "Your slides aren't busy."

"I know," you agree, "They totally kick ass."

You're mainly kidding, but there's still a hint of genuine defensiveness in your tone. The fact that you're taking this as a personal insult is more endearing than it should be. "They do."

You nod your head firmly, happy to be validated. "Thank you." You take another sip of your drink. "I love that you let me say crazy things like this and pretend that they are that deep." You tap your nails against the wood of the cafe table. "This is why we're friends."

Ethan crosses his arms on the table, hoping that the shift doesn't come off as transparent. He's still getting used to that, at how open you are, how genuine. You're always finding a way to affirm the friendship through either words or subtle actions.

"That's the only reason?"

You press your lips together, pretending to think about it. "Uh...you also buy me coffee and are the only reason I'm not failing econ, so..." The two of you laugh a little more than the joke warrants.

"I feel appreciated."

You roll your eyes at his joking tone. Ethan knows that you appreciate him. Because of how suspicious most of your friend group is, a lot of their mistrust has found its way to Ethan. It's easier to trust someone you live with, so you and Quinn aren't the first to be targeted. And Anika and Mindy are dating, that comes with additional trust. So Ethan's the most effected by their understandable PTSD. Except for Chad, who dorms with him.

It's not like he's fully excluded by everyone else, but every once in awhile the fact that they're ready to be the most wary of him at a moment's notice becomes overly obvious.

You lift an arm, nudging his arm with your fist, "Come on." You sit up a little straighter, "You know I love ya."

Ethan can feel the blood rushing to is face. He stares at the table, unsure if he'll be able to handle looking you in the eye right now. You just have to be so nice and pretty. Maybe if you were more one than the other he'd be able to handle it. He wouldn't have to constantly be trying to convince himself that he's neutral about you...that he'd actually be able to hurt you or let you get hurt like the others.

"An 'I love you' over an iced coffee?" Ethan tries to keep his voice steady, light.

You roll your eyes again, "Don't make me sound easy, it wasn't a love confession." You pick up your cup again, "And I got an extra pump of syrup and cold foam, so it wouldn't have even been unwarranted."

That alone makes Ethan want to get you your iced coffee every day. With any and all the additives you want. "Good to know."

It's your turn to stare at your hands. "Smooth." You fidget, twisting your fingers before forcing them to lay flat on the surface beneath them. "Don't you have to go to someone's office hours before 11:00?"

The honest answer is no, but that's not what Ethan told you. Office hours, extra classes, group projects, and study group meetings. School related excuses are the easiest ways to get to covertly meet with his family. Quinn's in a position to get to use guys as excuses, but Ethan isn't as...outgoing. And made up friends or jobs leave more room for questions.

And Ethan doesn't want to give you the impression that he's unavailable.

Ugh. He keeps telling himself that he can't factor you in. He shouldn't even want to. Anything he does to go out of his way for you will only draw more attention to you in the end. If he begins to slip because of you his dad will find a way to connect it back to you.

Ethan glances at his phone, noting the time. 10:43. If he leaves now, he'll still be a few minutes late. Nothing noticeable, nothing he can't blame on the city's foot traffic. "Uh..." he turns off his phone screen, "He cancelled them."

"Yeah?"

He blinks, trying to figure out how to spin this. He wonders if Richie ever struggled with the lying to everyone all the time or if that came as naturally to him as everything else. "Yeah...he sent an email about his kids having colds."

"Oh," you hum casually, "Feels like everyone gets sick after school starts. A girl in my lit class was sniffling so bad last class and Tara's throat's been sore lately." You believed him so easily, Ethan feels a pinprick of guilt about it. "Does that mean you have time to hangout?"

That eases any discomfort immediately. "...Aren't we hanging out right now?"

You give him a pointed look. "You know what I mean." You prop your head up on your elbow. "Do you have time to do something else?"

It'll be fine. He'll text his dad that he couldn't get away and that Chad was getting suspicious so he had to cancel his plans. Quinn would see right that, but he could get her to cover for him. He's covered for her enough times when she wanted a break from the vengeance thing to hook up with some guy or just be distracted. And this isn't different than that. Quinn blows off steam with guys and he blows it off with you. It's just a way to have something positive in his life.

It doesn't matter, but he can't seem too invested. "Do what?"

"Okay, you can say no, but I passed the cutest store on this street the other day..." You trail off softly, optimistic. "And I was going to go with Tara, but she's been super busy lately."

"Shopping trip?"

You sigh, the sound defeated, "I know. You don't have to--"

"No," Ethan breathes, "It sounds fun."

Your eyebrows draw together, "Fun?"

You sound so skeptical, but Ethan doesn't even have to think twice about it. It does sound fun. Anything that involves you sounds fun.

It hits him then that that's more than fondness or even friendship. That's really caring about someone...that's liking them. Like really liking them.

That alone should be reason enough for him to stop all of it. Bail and make some kind of excuse and stop hanging out with you so much. He tries to make himself, tries to imagine the way your expression would shift from an easy smile to a frown, "Do you want me to go or not?"

You beam. "You're right." Still smiling, you pull your bag off the side of your chair and pick up your coffee. "You ready?"

Warmth crawls up his neck and settles against his cheeks. "Yeah."

#scream #scream x reader #scream 2023 #scream 2023 x reader #ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #ghostface #ghostface x reader

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spyridonya · 4 months ago

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OMG I AM SO CURIOUS!!!

Kadee:

Greed 10, Wrath 5, Lust 4

Zo:

Wrath 1, Envy 1 😳, Lust 5 🤭

seven deadly sins headcanon

thank you for sending this, teddy! all of this is is safe for innocent new wotr players!

Kadira

Greed 10) Would your muse steal anything?

As a child, this was less to do with morals and she knowing that she stuck out like a sore thumb. It would be incredibly hard to get anything when you're bright red and everyone around you is not. As she grows older, there's a moral complexity to how she views stealing. There are a lot of desperate people out there and she herself isn't above in stealing something if it will help the Crusade and the person she steals from has the resources to survive. She's also forgiving for that with others. She's not not keen on people who steal for fun - which is honestly a rarity. Even organizational crime is based on the concept that the government will not protect or provide for it's weakest links.

Wrath 5) What, if anything, provokes your muse to violence

I don't want to go into too many spoilers, but those who worship Shelyn attempt to avoid violence and try to defend. For the most part, Kadira follows this and if asked for another chance, she will not resort to violence.

However, there are times when dealing with demons and cultists that Kadira is moved to fury, notably so towards the end of the game when it comes to those she cares about.

Lust 4) What sex-related words turn your muse on? what words make them cringe?

Kadira doesn't have words that will turn her on quickly in an independent context. 'Play' registers as nothing until she hears the tone of it and the voice quality. Most sensual words, conventional dirty words like 'cock, pussy', and praise melts Kadira into a puddle of goo and encourages her to do or endure so much.

However, there are so many words that will make her cringe and turn her drier than the Gobi. Moist, regardless fo tone, will make her cringe during a sexual context. Most childish terms used in a attempt to be serious-sexy is a turn off for her. Childish terms in means of being playful/funny and sexy has a lot more leeway.

Zophus

Wrath 1) does your muse like to get revenge on those they feel have wronged them?

The demon that destroyed his home and killed his mother in an arson fire is still unknown to Zophus. He's looked, he's looked so hard. That was the reason why he became a Planeswalker for the Harmounium, he wanted to get the knowledge and possibly find the demon who ruined everything. He hasn't found them yet, and he doesn't know how to truly get his revenge.

Envy 1) does your muse get jealous easily, or does it take a lot for them to feel it?

While he doesn't get jealous over titles or material things, Zophus quietly suffers his jealousy in regars to romance. It's not the only reason why he doesn't try to get into long term relationships, but is a factor of some importance. The best way he deals with this, notably in a polyam situation, is putting himself in the 'Secondary' mentality.

Lust 5) does your muse masturbate? if so, how often, and how do they get themselves off? if not, why not?

He masturbates, though the habit is dictated to his environment. He didn't masturbate often when he was in the Barracks in Sigil, because it was communal living. When the urge got him, Zophus had to find a secret place to relieve himself and had little pleasure out of it. While traveling, Zophus engages with masturbation far more often from several times to daily, because he doesn't have to hide it and he can be as sensual to himself as he wants. During his time on the road with the tadpole, he rarely masturbated due to stress and slightly fearing people would read his mind.

#headcanon: kadira #headcanon: zophus #zophus #character: knight commander kadira #answered ask

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waywardxrhea · 11 months ago

Text

Part One - Welcome to New York

[slow burn romance between you, a SHIELD investigative journalist, and Steve Rogers]

Warnings: 18+, contains humor, fluff, mental health, family trauma, romance, angst, language, violence, smut later on.

installment list

Word count: 3.3k

Steve Rogers wakes up in a modern New York City and you are assigned to help him acclimate.

“Where’s the report on our latest intel on the Whiplash tech?” a SHIELD agent in a suit and tie asked you as you made your way through the halls of SHIELD's New York HQ building.

“It’s on Director Fury’s desk as requested,” you replied promptly. You shuffled some papers and handed the man a small stack. “This is what I have so far on my interview with Jane Foster. Get a copy to Tellez ASAP, I need her to proofread what I have and make sure it will be article-ready by the time I finish my interview with her today. Please and thank you.”

“No problem,” the agent said with a nod as he parted ways with you, heading down the hall to the newsroom to find Tellez. You took a pencil out from behind your ear and began writing down where you had sent your reports for the day. As you were about to turn into a conference room to try and get a hold of Jane Foster, you heard your name being called.

“Agent, you seem to be a busy bee today,” came the voice. The voice of Nick Fury.

You straightened your back, tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, and said respectfully, “Yes sir, but I don’t mind. All in a day’s work.” You turned to the voice and were met with the stern face of Director Fury as well as the face of the Deputy Director of SHIELD and your close friend, Maria Hill.

“I see you were already heading into that conference room, perfect. Can we speak privately there?” he asked, gesturing toward the room.

“Of course sir,” you replied quickly. As you all walked into the room, you wracked your brain trying to think of any mistake you could have made as of late. Did you not get enough intel on a takedown? Did you leave out critical information in a newsletter article? Did you ask the wrong questions in an interview? You couldn’t lose your job at SHIELD, it was everything you had worked so hard to get…

Maria could tell you were stressed, so when Fury had his back turned, she mouthed, ‘It’s okay. It’s good news!’ With this sentiment, you relaxed a bit and released the tension in her shoulders as Director Fury turned around to speak with you. He said your name sternly before beginning. “You must be wondering why I asked you here today.”

“The thought may have crossed my mind, yes,” you replied which earned a quiet laugh from the Director. Director Fury pulled up a tablet and enabled the projector feature. What he pulled up and projected onto the wall was an article you wrote, only it wasn’t one of your SHIELD articles, it was a personal one. From your blog.

You cringed inwardly and mentally kicked yourself as he started speaking, “With just a brief look at your blog’s homepage, I can see that you have done almost all there is to do in New York City since you moved here. You’ve seen Broadway shows, toured Central Park, took multiple trips to Coney Island just for a food tour, among many other things.” After he examined the look of sheer embarrassment on your face, he asked, “You may now be wondering how I know about this blog of yours.”

You nodded and avoided eye contact, saying, “That thought may have crossed my mind too.”

“Look me in the eye when you talk with me Agent,” Fury told you.

You returned eye contact with him and nodded, telling him, “Yes sir.”

“Now, as I was saying. You may be wondering how I know about your blog, Agent. Well, I have three reasons. One is that I try to keep an eye and ears on every one of my agents, that includes some aspects of their personal lives. The second is that your blog is...all the rage as the kids put it. Your website has more views than some articles covering The Olympics. The third reason is that Miss Hill here informed me of it when she missed three of my calls while out on an adventure with you for said blog.”

Your eyes widened in horror and you began to apologize profusely, “Director Fury, I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to take Maria away for so long. Please, you can put all the blame on me. If a mission was compromised because of m-”

Fury put up his hand to stop your rambling and chuckled. “Agent, I’m not here to punish you nor Miss Hill. If it had been a major concern, you would have already been fired. That night I had just forgotten where I put my takeout menu in my office. Hill usually has a knack for finding it for me.”

You closed your eyes and let out a sigh of relief, saying, “Thank you, Director. Seriously though, it won’t happen again. Ringers on when we’re out from now on.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” He paused before continuing, “What the situation brought to light though was that you are the perfect candidate for the assignment I’m about to give you.”

“Oh?” you asked, raising your eyebrows. “What may that be?”

“Well you see, today some of our men discovered a frozen Captain Steve Rogers in the Arctic Ocean. When he wakes up, he’s gonna be in for quite a culture shock from the 1940’s to now. That’s where you come in. I want you to help ease him into the modern world.”

“That seems like quite the task, are you sure you want me in charge of this assignment?”

Maria spoke up, telling you, “You’re probably the most qualified of anyone at SHIELD for this job. Captain Rogers will need a guide through all of this if he’s gonna figure this world out. You’re great with tech, you know the ins and outs of the modern city, and you’re extremely easy to get along with. You’ll be great.”

You smiled at the vote of confidence from your friend, saying, “Well thank you, Maria.” You turned to Fury, and asked, “So when does this assignment start, sir?”

“Well, my men just got Rogers here and are setting up a hospital room to look like one from the 40s as we speak. Who knows how long it’ll be before he wakes up. When he does though, that’ll be when your assignment starts.”

“Will I still be on my normal reporting duties as well?”

“If you want to be a workaholic as I presume you will, yes. I will lighten the load on you a bit though because you have 67 years of tech and culture to catch Rogers up on. I imagine you’ll be a very busy woman, especially if you and Miss Hill here intend on having your little adventures still.”

Maria and you shared a look and a smile before you nodded, saying, “Sounds great! Is there any sort of file I’ll need on the assignment?”

“What, are you saying you don’t know the story of Captain America, Agent?” Fury asked with a chuckle.

“N-no sir, not saying that at all, sir. I just wasn’t sure if there was anything SHIELD specific that needed to be covered,” you replied quickly.

“I’m just kidding you, of course there'll be a file. I’ll have it sent to your box in the mail room by the end of the day as well as onto your computer. Thank you for accepting my offer, I think you’ll find the assignment to be quite enjoyable.”

“I’m looking forward to it!”

Director Fury left the room, leaving you and Maria alone soon after. “See, I told you it wasn’t bad!” Maria told you.

You smiled and relaxed your body once more, telling her, “Maria, any time The Director asks to talk privately I freak out. You know that.”

Maria laughed lightly, saying, “I know, I know. But even if it was something you did wrong, nobody’s perfect. You can’t not make mistakes.”

You gave Maria a look and told her, “Some days I think you forget what line of work we’re in.”

“I’m just saying, not everyone is perfect and for your end of things, one missed fact for the newspaper isn’t gonna be the end of the world or your career. There have been far worse mistakes made at this agency.”

“Well thanks for the vote of confidence,” you said with a sarcastic roll of your eyes, laughing all the while. As you started setting up your computer for a video interview with Jane Foster you added, “You know, Fury was wrong about me having done everything in the city. There’s a sushi house tucked into a corner of Times Square that I have seemed to overlook. How’s about meeting for dinner tonight?”

“You had me at sushi,” Maria replied as she exited the room. “I get off at around six, maybe seven depending on how long it takes to get that file of Rogers made up for you.”

“I’ll text you the address.”

“I’ll be on the lookout for it.”

After a few days of nothing happening on the front of Captain Rogers waking up, you were coming back from lunch to check in, hoping that some progress was made while you were out. You opened the door to the room where the fake hospital was set up and saw the wall explode, with two men flying through it and onto the floor. A third man, Captain Rogers, jumped over the rubble and ran out of the double doors past you. As you watched on, shock froze your body in place, your muscles refusing to jump into action.

After regaining your composure, you quickly checked on the two guards before running in the direction Captain Rogers went. You saw Maria and Fury jump into an SUV to catch up to the super soldier and hopped in behind them. “I’m gone for one hour and all hell breaks loose,” you said between deep breaths. “I was supposed to be the one there when he woke up.”

“Well there’s always Broadway auditions if you so desperately want to do some acting,” Maria joked from beside you.

The SUVs caught up to Captain Rogers in the middle of Times Square and you all jumped out. When you did, Director Fury called out, “At ease, soldier.” When the man turned to look at him, he added, “Look, I apologize for that little show back there, we just thought we’d break it to you slowly.”

“Break what?” Captain Rogers asked.

“You’ve been asleep, Cap. For almost seventy years,” Fury replied, ripping the bandaid off in one go.

While saying this, he motioned for you to step forward. You smiled warmly at the bewildered Steve Rogers and offered your name before telling him, “This isn’t really how I pictured your first time seeing the big city again would go.” At your words, he didn't respond, he just looked around at his surroundings while breathing hard from his run. After a few seconds of silence, you asked, “Are you okay, Captain?”

“Yeah,” he replied wearily, “yeah, I just...I had a date.”

You nodded and asked him after a few seconds of silence, “You ready to go back in? The city can be overwhelming for a first-timer.”

“Yeah,” he said absentmindedly. With this confirmation, you all loaded up into the SUVs and made your way back to SHIELD HQ. Once you all reached the offices, everything was back to business as usual. Fury, Maria, Rogers, and you all made your way to an empty conference room once inside so he could become acquainted with you and get a brief on what exactly was happening. Everyone besides Captain Rogers sat down in a chair when you got into the room, instead, he paced back and forth, asking, “What is going on here?”

“Well like I said, you’ve been on the ice for-” Fury tried to say but was interrupted.

“How is that even possible? Are you HYDRA? What kind of games are you playing here?” Captain Rogers asked, losing his temper momentarily and getting up in the Director’s face.

Fury put his hands up in surrender before saying, “We aren’t HYDRA. We’re called SHIELD. We’re a US government agency that deals with international security.”

“Where am I?” Rogers asked.

“You’re in New York City,” Maria informed him. “More specifically Manhattan.”

“No, no, no, no. New York City? That isn’t here. The city I know-”

Fury interrupted him, saying, “Was phased out decades ago.”

“Decades?”

“The year’s 2012, Cap,” Fury told him. “Don’t believe me? Agent, take that newspaper out of your bag and show him.”

“Yes sir,” you responded while pulling out the newspaper from your bag. You slid it across the table to show Captain Rogers. He studied the paper and you said quietly, “See, we’re not lying.”

After seeing the paper, Rogers finally sat down in a chair, not sure of what to do with himself. You stood up and grabbed a cup to fill with water from the cooler in the room. You gave him the cup and he offered you a small smile in return, saying, “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” You sat in the chair caddy corner to him and tried your introduction again, “I think we got off on the wrong foot." You offered your name once again before adding, “And if you wouldn’t mind, I’m here to help you navigate the craziness that is the world you just saw out there.”

Captain Rogers finished his water before saying, “It’s uh...nice to meet you.” He is quiet for a second before asking, “And who are they?”

“That’s SHIELD Director Fury. He runs this place. And the other is Deputy Director Hill, she’s his right-hand man in all of this.”

“And what do you do here?”

“Oh, well, I run articles for the papers both privately within the agency as well as for the general public. Besides writing, I go out on missions with agents and film everything that happens for documentation, intel, training, the works. I do it all with a drone and control tablet, and wow I realize this is probably all gonna go right over your head, I should stop.”

Your rambling earned a bit of a smile from Captain Rogers although he did look overwhelmed at all the information. Fury spoke up once again after your fumble, saying, “What she's trying to say is that she’s got a lot to catch you up on, Cap. The two of you can start now if you like while we set up a place for you to stay.” Fury and Maria stood to leave and Fury told you, “I’d start with a cell phone considering he’s gonna need it if he wants to communicate with all of us. I’ll have one delivered ASAP.”

“Yes sir. Thank you,” you replied as the pair walked out of the room.

Once they were gone, Rogers asked, “So what happened? I assume we won the war?”

You nodded, telling him, “We did. Hitler and his accomplices killed themselves before they could get punished for it all. You’ll hear a lot of conspiracy theories surrounding that though. Don’t believe everything you hear.”

“Got it,” he responded slowly. “Now what was Fury talking about a…cell phone?”

“Oh, right!” you said and then fished yours out of your bag. You showed it to him as you said, “This is a cell phone. It does all the stuff a normal phone does and so much more.”

“Like what?”

“Well you can text people, video chat, take pictures, play games, watch the stock market, listen to music, and there’s a lot more I just don’t want to overwhelm you,” you told him, stopping yourself from listing every feature of a smartphone to him. As you stopped talking, your phone started ringing with a video call from your grandmother. You looked at the door to make sure it was closed before saying, “I’m sorry, I have to take this. It’s my Gammie.”

“Go ahead,” Rogers said. As you took the call, he watched you and the device in your hand intently, trying to wrap his head around the concept of it. Right as you ended the call, the door opened to reveal an agent delivering an activated phone for Captain Rogers.

Once the phone was in his hand, he held the object awkwardly, unsure what to do with it. You giggled and said, “Here, let me help you.”

The two of you spent the better part of the next two hours setting up the phone and getting the basic functions of it down. After you had gone over the basics, you told him, “Let me give you my numbers real quick.”

“Numbers?”

“Well, I have a work and personal phone. I can be reached at either, but I’ve found out it’s just easier to have both.” You showed him how to add and save a contact into his phone before going to your messaging app and sending him a smiley face and a greeting. You smiled as you told him, “There! Your first text message.”

“Now how do I respond?” he asked. You gladly showed him and as he watched the message go from his phone to yours, he whispered, “That’s amazing.” Your heart warmed at the smile you were finally able to get on his face.

You checked the time and said, “It’s getting late, I wonder if the place they’re setting up for you is ready…” You pulled out your work phone and saw a text from Maria detailing where his apartment was located. “Oh hey, here, your place is gonna be just up the block. I can drive you there.”

Rogers nodded and stood as you did, leading him out of the office and down into the parking garage to get to your car. He looked around as you both walked and asked, “So this is what cars are like now?”

“Yes, they’re a lot more compact, lighter weight, automatic transmission. A lot have tons of gadgets in them too,” you informed him as you approached your car, unlocking the doors before you both got in. Captain Rogers looked at the dash and the radio while you connected your phone to the speakers. “I prefer classic cars, but they’re impractical in the big city. Compact sedans are easier for parking.”

Rogers nodded, once again at a loss for words as you shifted into gear and started driving. Music played quietly as you drove and made small talk, Captain Rogers asking questions as you went. After a few minutes, you pulled up to the assigned apartment complex and you walked him to his new place.

“So I have to ask,” Captain Rogers said as you both approached his door, “from what you’ve told me so far, it seems like you have an extremely overwhelming job. How do you deal with all of the stress of that plus trying to navigate city life?”

“See, that’s my secret Cap, work isn’t what stresses me out. I throw myself into work so I don’t have to deal with other stressful aspects of my life. My Grammie calls me a workaholic.” You laughed at the comment and added, “That woman is really what keeps me stable though. She’s been there for me since I was a teen and she’s always got my back no matter what. I don’t know what I’d do without her really.”

“So a strong support system and distractions from it all is what I’m hearing,” Rogers summed up for you.

“Pretty much. At least that’s what works for me,” you confirmed.

Captain Rogers nodded his head in consideration before reaching for the doorknob. As he opened the door to walk in, he thanked you for helping him out. “It’s no problem, Cap. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” he replied, closing the door.

“Wait, one more thing!” you called before the door shut all the way. Captain Rogers opened the door back up and you handed him a mini notebook, telling him, “Keep this with you so you can jot down things you want to learn about and I’ll show them to you.”

“I will do that, thank you.”

You smiled and nodded, saying goodnight one more time before heading out, hoping that this experience would be all that you were hoping for and more.

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