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imagining-in-the-margins · 5 years ago

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Here to Misbehave (Pt. 17 | S.R.)

Summary: Spencer is concerned about Reader’s growing impulsiveness, but Reader is the one who gets a call from JJ asking if she can come get her boyfriend. Couple: Spencer/Fem!Reader   Category: Smut (NSFW, 18+)   Content Warning: Discussions of drugs, death/dying, suicide, overdose; Alcohol, addiction, oral (male receiving), handjob, fingering, Daddy Kink, fights, PTSD, hospital talk, drunk smut w/ blanket consent Word Count: 12.5k

MASTERLIST

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When I opened the front door, I realized that I had returned to an empty home. I wasn’t sure which was weirder; the realization that the house was empty, or the fact that I was referring to her apartment as my home. It certainly had started to feel that way.

It never stopped being a shock that I would find a home in someone so quickly and with such little self-awareness. I'd certainly never suspected that the house we’d be in would also be shared with several other people, all of whom were significantly younger than me and shared almost no similarities with me beyond our love for (y/n).

And even if it wasn’t the weirder of the two realizations, the fact that she wasn’t there was definitely the more troubling one. I tried to gather at least a little evidence before I called her; I wasn’t exactly excited about being blindsided again. Judging by the red solo cups that were scattered in the kitchen, I had an idea of how her friends had spent the night. The fact that no one was here led me to another conclusion that I desperately hoped was inaccurate.

Her phone rang four times before she picked up, which was strange in itself. When she did pick up, she sounded like I expected her to. Tired. Groggy.

“Hello?”

“Hey little girl, where are you?” I hoped she couldn’t hear the fumbling of my keys in my pocket, or any other sign of just how anxious I’d gotten in the last three minutes. “Oh. I’m sorry, Spencer, I forgot I was supposed to see you today.” She mumbled, sounding genuinely apologetic if not a little confused.

“You… forgot?” I repeated, quickly making my way over to the calendar hung on a bulletin board outside the kitchen, noting the nothingness over both the current and following week.

“Yeah, I guess I got carried away with school.”

She was lying. I couldn’t be for sure about what, but it was obvious. If she was really having that much trouble with classes, she would have told me. We’d gotten past the whole insecurity over me thinking she was stupid thing a long time ago, and she knew I would always let her learn it on her own if she didn’t want my help.

“... What are you not telling me?” I tried to make the words playful, although my hand was now nervously patting the side of my hip at an alarming rate.

“Nothing! I just got distracted. I’m... a little busy today so we should just meet up again next weekend.”

“A week?” I knew she was probably getting tired of me parroting her words, but that just seemed like a ludicrous amount of time. Usually, we went barely a day or two without seeing each other when I was in the city, cherishing the time together when I wasn't called away to attend to crimes halfway across the country.

“What’s going on?” My voice was quickly falling into that register that warned her I was about to start profiling her, whether I wanted to or not. And unfortunately, she chose the worst possible reaction to that warning, further tipping me off to the fact that something wasn't quite right.

“Spencer, stop being weird.”

But I wasn’t. I knew that I could be weird; it’s kind of my thing. If you looked up weird in the dictionary, you wouldn’t find my name, but you’d definitely find a description that perfectly characterized my personality.

“You’re the one being weird. Turn on your camera.”

“I can’t. It’s dark in here.” She shot back her answer so quickly, I knew that she had already anticipated the request.

“Then move.” I ordered more than suggested. She understandably didn’t take kindly to my reaction, but I know she also knew why I was doing it. The excuses she was giving weren’t even well thought out.

“What is this? An interrogation?” She scoffed, “Do you think I’m cheating on you with barely dissolved stitches in my intestines?”

I took a deep breath, sitting down at the kitchen table still sticky with leftover sugary liquor and turned the phone onto speaker. “Turn it on.” This time, my voice broke with the order. As much as that didn’t make it sound authoritative, it did make her feel guilty.

As the screen lit up, it all made sense in the worst possible way. She was forcing a fake smile, her other hand resting against her face in a failed attempt to draw attention away from the the mottled skin of her left eye.

“I’m not cheating on you. Happy?” The words were sharp on her tongue, an anger in her features paired well with the understanding that I wasn’t wrong to be worried. I honestly think that was what bothered her the most – that she wanted it to be nothing, for me to be overreacting, but knew that it was a little more serious that she let on.

“I’m definitely not happy. What happened?” I was already at the door by the time the sentence ended... She shut off her camera just as quickly, hearing the commotion from my side. “Where are you? I’m coming right now.”

She sighed, and I could see it clearly despite the fact that she wasn’t on my screen anymore. “I don’t want you to come here. Spencer, I’m fine.”

I might have believed her. I might have honestly given her the benefit of the doubt – let her lie to me a little, and just accept that a black eye wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened. Eventually, she would tell me how she got it, so I wouldn’t need to worry about it.

But it became very obvious very quickly that it was not just a black eye.

“Ms. (Y/l/n)?” A third voice announced in the background, accompanied by the distinct sound of an alarm sounding in the distance.

“... Are you in a hospital?!”

“For fucks sake. I hate dating a profiler.” She grumbled, implicitly admitting that my conclusion was right. She wouldn’t let me have another word, speedily slurring her goodbye. “I have to go, Spencer. I’ll call you later. Love you!”

—————————————————

Anyone who has spent a long time in inpatient knows that nosy nurses are both the best and worst kind of people to be assigned to your stay. They were the best because they always had the best gossip and would spend their precious little free time sharing stories about their lives that were always more entertaining than whatever poorly budgeted gameshow was on the old, staticky television.

They were the worst because one wrong move meant that you were the subject of gossip. And boy, were they good at getting it out of you.

“Trouble in paradise?” She sweetly hummed as she pushed my bed down the hall.

I wanted to tell her that there was trouble, and that it was through no fault of my own. If the other people in the hospital didn’t have the audacity to be sick at the same time that I needed a CT scan, then I wouldn’t have even still been here. I could have been back at home, where… well, I guess Spencer would have figured it out either way.

“Yeah, I guess.” I sadly admitted, playing with the string of my gown. “He’s just a worrywart.”

The woman had that glimmer in her eye, the kind that came from years of seeing the same stories over and over again. Although, I had a hard time believing she’d ever been in this exact scenario, I guess they were all kind of the same after a while, semantics aside.

“Well, that makes sense considering your current state.” It was more of a reprimand than anything else, and I audibly groaned to try and get her to stop there. She didn’t, though, having spent enough time with me to know I needed to hear it. “You were very lucky, you know. If things had been even just a little bit different…”

Couldn’t you say that about everything? If things had been even just a little bit different, I never would have met Spencer in the first place. We never would have fallen in love or fought or done any of it at all.

I didn’t like thinking about that. I didn’t like even considering a life without Spencer. No matter how much pain I’d been through, or what traumatic memories were dug up, they were worth it.

That’s what she wanted me to realize, and she had succeeded. Suddenly, as we turned into the room, I was overcome with guilt at the way I’d ended my conversation with him.

The nurse knew it, too, because as she transferred me onto the scanner, she smiled. “I’m just saying, sweetheart. If he woke up next to your hospital bed last time, I understand why he’d be scared.”

Chewing on my lips, I thought about the last time I was in a hospital. I thought about how Spencer had curled his giant lanky body onto the bed and barely slept for 2 weeks. I could see the way his eyes got more sunken by the day, but never stopped shining with relief. I could hear him chewing on ice because he didn’t want to leave to grab food until after I’d woken up, and the cold would distract him from just how hungry he was.

“He must love you an awful lot to be that worried.”

I hated when they did that; when they read my mind and said exactly what I was thinking.

“Yeah, I know.” I tried to smile. It was hard with the stabbing pain in my stomach and the aching in the entire left side of my face, but I managed. It was just one of those things where if I thought of Spencer, my body had to react. It was as natural as breathing.

Which, speaking of…

“Take a deep breath in.” The technician alerted me from the speaker.

The high pitched whines of the CT scanner weren’t as obnoxious as the MRI machine. I was silently grateful that they were still too scared to use the giant magnet. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to be stuck in a confined space, listening to loud banging that sounded too much like gun shots for my comfort.

Even just the thought made me nauseous. I felt like a baby, to have such a strong reaction to something so stupid. I’d been in an MRI before. I was a in a hospital. Nothing bad was going to happen to me, and I knew that.

But even now, in a machine that made virtually no noise and barely covered half my body, I wasn’t able to hold in a breath. Each time I tried, it felt like I was choking on Spencer’s lap again. The stinging in my stomach felt so much stronger, even though I knew it was healed.

The world felt like it was closing in on me, and every second that passed felt like days. I couldn’t even trust myself to guess how long it took for them to get images that should have taken no longer than 5 minutes.

I felt like such a burden. Like I was in their way. Like I was doing it wrong. Like I was a little kid, thinking that she knew what she was doing and could do it on her own.

I wanted Spencer.

That was the only thing I could think, and although it should have been comforting, it just left me feeling empty. The thought of him wasn’t enough to stop the tears streaming down my cheeks. The hands of the nurses trying to calm me down didn’t help, either. They felt wrong. They felt cold.

I just wanted Spencer. I wanted him to be there to hold my hand and distract me from my own thoughts. I wanted him to replace them with other things, like he'd promised me. I wanted to make new memories far away from here.

But I couldn’t. I was an idiot and I’d gotten myself back in the hospital, and he wasn’t here because I told him I didn’t want him to be. Why had I told him that? There was no reason that made any sense.

Once we finally did get out of the damn radiology department, I could still only barely function. The ride back to my room was much quieter, and the nurse didn’t meddle anymore. Gossip was only fun when it didn’t hurt like this.

Again, I couldn’t trust myself to guess how long I’d been in the CT scanner, but as we crossed back into my room, an overwhelming sensation of relief washed over me when I saw his satchel in the seat beside my bed. I hated the knowledge that I’d wasted 45 minutes of the technician’s time, but I was just so fucking happy that he had actually come.

Being alone in my room wasn’t a big deal anymore, because I knew it was only temporary. So as soon as I could, I sat up and waited patiently for my favorite mop of curly brown hair to peek around the corner.

He didn’t disappoint. He rarely did.

“Hey little girl.”

All the tension melted from my muscles, my head finally resting against the pillow with a dopey smile on my face. “Spencer.” I sighed, holding my hand out to him to usher him closer.

He gladly took the invitation, taking wide steps so he could be with me sooner.

“You shouldn’t be here.” I grumbled, flicking him on the arm while I locked our hands together. “But I’m glad you are.”

It was obvious from the way he let out a deep breath that he was also relieved to see that I wasn’t angry at him for coming. However, that’s also where his relief stopped. Because he’d seen me an hour prior and knew that I hadn't been crying then. But now, on top of the black eye, he saw the red rimming my sclera.

Taking my hand into both of his, he pressed a hard kiss against the back of it. Without looking up, he muttered into the skin a sad plea.

“Talk to me.”

“About what?” I asked, pulling back on my hand so he would stop with the shameless display of romance in such an awful place.

“Whatever’s going on.” He paused, but was clearly unhappy with the open ended question, and just as quickly specified, “What happened last night?

Unfortunately, I still wasn’t in the giving mood, even when it was information, and even if the person begging me for it was the boyfriend that I’d just cried for in the CT Scanner. If anything, that almost made it worse.

I hated feeling like this. Vulnerable.

“Nothing.”

Spencer was getting fed up, but it was like I couldn’t stop myself from fighting with him. I didn’t want to. I wanted to tell him that I needed him to take care of me and ask him to hold me while I cried on his shoulder about nothing at all, but I couldn’t. He would do it in a heartbeat, but I couldn’t ask him to. I couldn’t ask him for anything.

I couldn’t need anything without feeling too horribly guilty.

“Please don’t lie to me.” He was begging again, looking up at me with those impossibly warm amber eyes. He smiled when he saw the way my lips curled at the sight of him, unable to be angry for too long.

“Am I not allowed to have any stories for myself?” I joked, reaching forward to poke his face. Instead of moving away to avoid my hand, he leaned into the touch.

“You can. I just...”

“I know. You’re worried.” I responded with an exasperated sigh, rolling my head back. I could still feel him watching me, though, with a precarious smile, happy to see my spirits relatively high while also being deeply unhappy about the circumstances.

Wanting to see that full, confident smile again, I realized I didn’t have much of a choice. I’m sure that whatever he’d come up with in his head was much more sinister than what had actually happened.

“Fine. Stop looking at me like that.” I mumbled, gesturing to the childlike pout and laughing when he sucked his lips into his mouth in an attempt to follow my direction. I was glad he was still in a joking mood, because I had a feeling it would disappear as soon as I started talking.

I took a deep breath, looking up and away before I began my explanation of the stupidest night.

“I went out for drinks with my friends–”

“Drinks?!”

It hadn’t even been five seconds and he’d already cut me off. I couldn’t blame him, but it was so freaking annoying. This was exactly why I hadn't told him. Well, that and the fact he could get in serious trouble.

“I didn’t have any! Geez. Chill out.” I yelled back, chuckling a little bit at the conflicting looks of terror and relief. Because while he obviously believed that I didn’t drink any myself, it gave ugly context to the nightmarish guesses his mind had concocted.

“And everything was fine. We were on our way home. But then some asshole started messing with my friend. And she was way too drunk and started crying.” I was groaning internally the whole time, thinking about all the different ways this whole situation could have been avoided. Honestly, I don’t know why she had decided to try and square up with a cat caller when she knew damn well that she would start crying the second he raised his voice.

Which, of course, he had.

“So, I told the guy to fuck off. And he did not like it.”

There was a powerful rage boiling under the surface of Spencer’s skin, which was only betrayed by his clenched jaw and the sheets scrunched under his hand. “Did they arrest him?” He said, trying to calm the trembling in his voice. He wasn’t angry at me for being a victim, even if he was probably a little annoyed that I went out without telling him.

Not like he was even in the state, anyway.

“I didn’t press charges.”

He took a deep breath, clearly about to tell me that I was stupid for not holding him accountable. That I could’ve gotten hurt and he would’ve gotten away with it. That I could’ve died if he’d hurt me the wrong way.

I didn’t want to hear it.

“Stop. I didn’t want to go to court, and I’m fine. I didn’t even need invasive surgery again.”

Spencer was still angry but trying to settle himself down before he spoke. He could hardly even look at me, his hand leaving the bed to run through his hair and shake his keys in his pockets.

I wanted to tell him that the tension of silence was worse than if he’d just raised his voice at me, but I couldn’t even gather the energy to do that. My body and mind seemed resigned to their current state; they’d just given up.

“(Y/n)...” He started, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up at the use of my name. They didn’t retreat, especially not when he dragged a chair over to my bedside, sitting down and placing a gentle hand over mine again.

“Are you okay?”

It was so sincere. So pure, so unforgivably kind. My hand that had felt paralyzed seconds earlier twitched under his. “I just told you.” I shrugged, fighting the urge to pull my arm away again. I wanted him here. I wanted him to touch me.

So why did it hurt? Why did everything hurt?

“That’s not what I’m worried about.” His voice broke, and I saw the way he was holding back tears with his tongue pressed against the roof of his mouth. He was biting back so many things he didn’t want me to know.

But again, I was too tired to fight it. So instead, I said nothing.

“It doesn’t take a profiler to see you’re hurting.” He continued, urging me to give him anything to work with. “How can I make it better?”

He just wanted to help. Why couldn’t I let him help?

“I’m fine. Nothing even happened to me.” My throat tried to reject the words, my brain screaming at me that they were fundamentally untrue. But my heart hurt, pounding louder in my chest to tell me that the logic was wrong. Because I was a big girl, and I shouldn’t be scared by things that already happened.

I’m safe, right? I don’t need to be scared, right?

Spencer could see the panic on my face because I couldn’t even have hid it if I'd wanted to. And my brain was telling me to not to. It told me that I needed to talk to him, to let him listen.

“That’s not true. You’ve been through a lot.” He bargained, trying to locate that little voice in my head with his offerings. He wanted to pull that small part of me out and force it to talk so that we might finally be able to start to move on.

“You go through worse every day.”

‘It’s common for patients suffering from PTSD to minimize their suffering or compare it to others. It’s a completely normal response, but I want you to try to resist belittling your own feelings. They’re yours, and no one else’s. Okay, sweetheart?’

The voice was so clear in my head, my body jerked in response. I looked around the room, looking for any sign of the man who’d told me them first. But he wasn’t here; he hadn’t been here for some time.

“Do you know how many profilers I’ve seen leave in my time at the bureau?” Spencer distracted me from the thought. He probably figured my flashbacks were more sinister than what they actually were. As upsetting as they had once been, hearing my dad’s voice in my head was usually oddly soothing.

“No.” I answered blankly, trying to pay all attention to the man who was still here.

“Four. And I’ve considered it myself.” There was a soft chuckle to hide the guilt in the admission.

I didn’t know why he felt bad for it; his job was so ridiculously difficult. On top of constantly having to rearrange his life on account of the various inextinguishable evils in the world, he had to face those evils every day and try to figure out their inner workings in order to thwart them. The only time I'd ever done that, I'd killed all three of them. Not the best track record.

“The first one, she... she reminds me a lot of you.” The soft twinkling in his eyes, much like emotional music in the movies, alerted me that a backstory was coming. Based on the extent of just how nostalgic he was coming, I guessed that whatever he was about to say was deeply important to him.

However, I was fragile enough as it was, and I didn’t need to add jealousy to my current emotional repertoire. “Is this another JJ origin story? Cause I don’t think I can handle it.”

He laughed, shaking his head at the frustrated pout that formed on my face. “No,” He said quietly, taking a pregnant pause to formulate the story. “Her name was Elle.”

The story he told was woven well, although I expected no less. He told it passionately and with absolute sincerity. He told me about the woman who was one of the first people he'd bonded with on the team. The playful relationship he described was painted so vividly in my imagination.

I wanted to meet her. But by the end of the story, it was obvious that it wasn’t an option. He didn’t say anything about it, but from the far off look I could guess that he hadn’t seen her since that last day.

“She was like a sister to me, and to see her fall apart and not be able to do anything to help her... it was one of the worst feelings in the world.”

And I understood then, why he was worried about me the way he was. He was projecting his previous experience on me, but things were different with me. At least, that’s what I told myself. Realistically I should have been reminding myself that she'd had the training and resources to overcome her obstacles, whereas I was basically still a stupid kid. The prospect of facing the reality was too difficult though; I just shrugged it off.

“Well, I already killed the people who did this to me.” I chuckled.

Spencer did not appreciate my humor. There was an even stronger concern that flashed over his features, worried by my flippancy over the death of three human beings.

Fuck, I should feel worse about it than I do, shouldn’t I? But if I thought about it, then it hurt so badly. If I had to pick one, I would pick apathy every time. I would choose the emptiness before the ocean of remorse.

“I’m not worried about them.”

I had drifted away from him again, and the sentence forced me to look at him.

‘I’m not worried about them. I’m worried about you.’

I’d said that before. Those were my words.

I pulled my hand back from Spencer, rubbing my forehead with both hands before wincing at the sharp pain around my eye socket. It took me a minute to focus on the sentence and dive deeper into its implications. But once I remembered why it instilled such a visceral reaction, I nearly gagged on the words.

“Wait, you think I’m going to kill myself?”

“I didn’t say that.” He quickly responded in the most defensive manner possible. If that was his attempt to calm me down, it did not work. It only pissed me off even more.

Because there was only one reason why he would think I was going to kill myself. I hadn’t given him any reason to believe that was a risk. Yeah, sure, I was being reckless and impulsive, but I was a teenager!

“Why would you think that?” I demanded an answer, and he was immediately hesitant to provide one. It was all the evidence I needed to reach my conclusion. “Don’t lie to me, Spencer Reid. You asked Hotch, didn’t you?”

He sighed, leaning back in his chair now that it was obvious, I wasn’t going to want him to touch me. “Yeah, I did.”

“You told me you wouldn’t, Spencer! You promised!” I ground the words out between my teeth, hoping he understood just how much I was holding back my volume.

He looked over at the screen monitoring my heart, noting the way the spikes appeared at an exponentially faster rate. “I know.” He whispered with an evident guilt.

“What did he tell you?” I hated the way my voice shrank with my shoulders, my body insisting that I assume to the smallest position I could. Because as much as I hated that Spencer had asked when he told me he wouldn’t, I was desperate for the information.

I’d always wanted to see the files, to hear the story as they knew it. I wanted to know what happened, and this was probably the closest I’d ever come to that, unless that whole Ouija board thing is real.

“Probably the same stuff that you already know.” He knew he was disappointing me. He shouldn’t have felt as bad about that as he did, but I’d take the implicit apology for what it was.

“Tell me anyway.”

Spencer should have been delighted to have the opportunity to talk at me for such a long time, but I also understood why he wasn’t. They weren’t the best topics of conversation, your ex-best friend and your girlfriend’s dead father. But he was a trooper and a skilled conversationalist, despite people not being able to understand that.

“He told me that there were several missions your father was a part of that ended controversially. That… he reported several violations that were never followed through on.”

The words so easily unlocked memories I had tightly and resolutely locked away, it was unsettling. I could hear my parents arguing about the philosophy of blame and responsibility. My dad always arguing that he couldn’t stand aside and let innocent people get hurt. My mom reminding him that he couldn’t save everyone.

‘We also get to see a lot of good.’ Spencer had said on our first not-a-date.

‘Yeah, but which do you see more of?’ I’d asked, and he’d avoided the question. I remembered seeing the question dance across his vision before he shut it out. He'd wondered why I was so confident in my conclusions.

“And the last mission…”

He didn’t have to wonder anymore.

“I saw the report.”

My breath was knocked from my lungs by an invisible fist to my damaged gut. I swallowed, trying to regulate my heart that was at risk of setting off the damn machine next to me. “What did it say?” I whispered, clutching onto the sheets and my gown, hoping it would be enough to keep me grounded.

“Killed in action.”

“That’s fucking bullshit.” I barked, my brows furrowing regardless of just how badly it hurt to contort my face so badly. “He didn’t– H-He wasn’t–“

“I know.” Spencer responded, a note of pity in his voice that made my face twitch in annoyance.

I turned to him with the same snarl, years of repressed anger resurfacing and wreaking even more havoc on my already destroyed life. “Do you? Do you know?”

“I mean, I can’t ever know for sure but… You weren’t the only one who felt that he...” He couldn’t say the word suicide, and for once, I was grateful. “It seems like all of his team had the same concerns.”

He was trying so hard to calm me down, to placate my fears and rage. He was sympathizing the best he could, but the truth was he would never be able to understand just how fucked up it was. He hadn't been there when it was happening, so the only thing he could do was try to slap a band-aid on a well-settled scar and hope that my not being able to see it made it hurt less.

“I’m sorry.” He uttered the two words cautiously, his heartbreak clear in his eyes. He had nothing to apologize for, but there he was, doing it anyway.

“For what?”

“That you’ll never have your answer.”

I don’t know what I expected him to say, but his answer took me by surprise. Of all the explanations I’d heard after an unnecessary platitudinous apology, I’d never heard that. And even worse, I’d never heard it in such a broken way, sounding for all the world like he believed he'd failed tremendously.

“I’m sorry that... that I couldn’t find it for you.”

I couldn’t stand the sight, and my hand found his cheek like it did so often, returning home to find that it was just a bit more stubbly than I remembered it. “It’s not your job, Spencer. We’re not one of your cases.” I assured him, running my thumb over the rough skin and remembering that he’d only just gotten home from exactly that: a case.

He did so much for me every day, but in the past few months he’d had to do so much more. And as much as I tried not to, I took him for granted so often. It was never as obvious to me as it was in that moment, when a tear slid down his cheek at the tenderness of my touch. He always expected anger and pain. I didn’t want him to feel that way with me.

“But thank you for trying. I appreciate you.” I tried to throw my soul into the words as they formed on my tongue, but all that came out was a pathetic whimper. “I love you very much.”

“I love you, too.” He sighed into the small embrace, leaning his weight more heavily into my hand. Still holding back, he grimaced at the words he shared. “If I’m going to be honest, I looked something else up myself. Not on any FBI database just... old school research”

I wanted to act surprised, but it was the least shocking thing I’d heard in a while. So instead I just stared at him, with the closest I could come to boredom while still being interested in what he had to say.

“Yeah? What’d you find?” Finally settling into the inevitable resignation, I moved my hand up the side of his face to tangle in his hair. It was so soft despite not having been washed for a few days. I could tell he hadn’t slept much. I wondered why he'd bothered digging into my past in the precious little free time he had.

But then he said it, reminding me of the pain of the cemetery and the events that both preceded and followed it.

“Trent Loughton.”

My fingers stopped in their exploration of his curls for a second, but eventually continued. “I see.” I hummed, trying not to push the conversation any further than he wanted to take it. As emotional as the topic was for me, it must have been harder for him. After all, he was the one who shared the nasty habit with Trent.

“I-I saw how he died... and I think I can fill in the rest myself.”

“Mrs. Loughton did give a lot of clues.” I laughed, mostly to stop myself from crying. That woman didn’t deserve any more of my tears. It was because of her that I’d spent years trying to convince myself that Trent’s death wasn’t my fault. Deep down, a part of me still believed her.

But honestly, it wasn’t my opinion that really mattered to me. It was Spencer’s. If he thought I was a failure, or that it was my fault for what happened, I wasn’t sure we’d ever be able to move past it. I wasn’t sure that I would ever be able to move past it.

“The drugs he overdosed on... they weren’t yours.”

Relief washed over me, but my mind told me not to get too comfortable, yet. “No, they weren’t.” My body had such a strange reaction to the words being said without an argument. I didn’t need to convince Spencer; he already knew. He not only believed me – he had come to the conclusion himself.

“So why did you say they were?”

It was such an easy answer, I knew he had to know it already. His hesitance to come to conclusions on my behalf, while appreciated, wasn’t necessary in this situation. “Pretty little girl with no record and a batshit war hero dad stood a better chance in the criminal justice system. I didn’t ask my dad to protect me, but he did.”

Spencer clearly sympathized with my father more so than me in that moment, which made my heart flutter in a remarkably inappropriate manner. I just couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that those damn psychologists were right – We really do sometimes pick men that remind us of our fathers.

“It wasn’t your fault.” Spencer said under his breath, and I wondered which one he was even talking about. It honestly could have applied to my whole life. He would have meant it each time, too. Because to him I couldn’t do anything wrong. I tried to take solace in that, but it honestly caused another voice to creep into the back of my mind.

I’d never be as good as he saw me. I’d never be worthy of his love.

Shoving those anxieties away again, I nodded in solemn recognition of the years I spent working to come to that same conclusion. “I know. It just took me a while to figure it out.”

My hand finally fell away from his face, although he grabbed my wrist to stop it from going too far. There was another hesitancy in his body language. His face turned down and his leg bouncing so gently I almost missed it.

“Is he the one you were talking about? The one you loved?”

Ah, nothing like a subtle hint of jealousy to boost a girl’s ego. I chuckled at the sound, swaying a bit in place to let him suffer a millisecond longer. “No. Not exactly.”

But then I genuinely couldn’t figure out how to say it. How could I describe what we had shared, when I'd spent so long trying to forget it? Had I loved him? Probably. No, I'd definitely loved him, just not in the way Spencer was thinking. Not like I loved Spencer.

“It was like, he always liked me, and I always thought we’d end up together because that’s how it happens in the movies, right? I was supposed to fall in love with him.” I ranted, trying to move my hands that were currently wrapped up in Spencer’s. “But I didn’t, and then he was gone and...”

We both stopped, his eyes trailing after me with questions he didn’t voice yet. He wanted me to finish before he decided whether or not they were worth it. I wanted to explain to him that they weren’t. As important as Trent was to me, he was gone.

“It’s fine. I’m sure he would be glad I found someone who makes me happy.” I was confident in that, at least. Because as I stared into those big hazel eyes, forcing themselves to stay open just to listen to me talk about my life, I was glad, too. “Even if that someone snoops too much for his own good.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

There were many reasons, most of which I didn’t want to go into. But the way he was looking at me shattered my heart into a million pieces, and I knew that if I lied to him now, it would only make it harder to put those parts back together.

He just wanted to help. I knew I should let him help.

“I didn’t want to think about it.” I admitted for the first time out loud. “I didn’t want to consider all the similarities. I didn’t want you to think I was just looking for a man to replace the ones I’ve lost.”

I couldn’t tell when I started to cry, but it was even more exhausting and painful than normal. Which is why I didn’t hesitate to accept Spencer’s offer when he stood up, wrapping his arms around me just tightly enough that it wouldn’t hurt.

“I didn’t want to lose you, too.” I whined, the comforting scent of his cologne filling my lungs and reminding me of all the beautiful moments we’d shared so far. We had so many more to go.

“You won’t lose me. I’m here to stay.” He said, reading my mind like he always did.

“I know.” I started to laugh, but this time it wasn’t held back by secrets. “You’d think a girl could lose you by getting in a bar fight an hour away and going to an unnamed hospital but nooo...”

He laughed too, although his was much more reserved. Spoilsport.

Spencer’s arms tightened around me briefly, holding me closer to him before he backed away, his hands finding home on my cheeks. I anticipated a kiss, which was usually what happened when he held me like that. But he didn’t kiss me, instead giving me a gentle instruction.

“(Y/n), look at me.”

My eyes, bruised and dry, still opened at his command.

“No jokes. No lies.” He asked, clearly enunciating each word. “Should I be worried about you?”

All I could hear was the sound of my heart and the humming of the machines. I was brought back to the CT scanner, the way it felt to be choking on air. Flashes of other men I loved were racing through my mind. I couldn’t save them, I remembered, before my eyes landed back on Spencer.

My stomach twisted at the memory of a wooden box, a check, and suddenly all I smelled was the pine of the forest.

“(Y/n)?” He asked again, although I saw he’d already received half of the answer.

“No. I’m fine.”

The most terrifying part about it was that I believed what I said, but the look on Spencer’s face told me that I was lying. And I believed that, too.

—————————————————

The thing about coming back from a gunshot wound to the stomach is that it takes a ridiculously annoying amount of time. Like, yeah, the pain is something awful, but the wait for things to return to normal was even worse.

I didn’t even know how long it’d been, my brain blocking out anything that reminded me of that day. If I ever really needed to know, Spencer could tell me. I was basically only keeping track of the days by deadlines for school and the dwindling prescriptions I had left.

My follow-up appointment was next week, and it couldn’t come soon enough. Spencer told me he would come with me, but I hadn’t really heard from him in a couple of days. He didn’t even have time to tell me about the case, although I could tell it was one of the “bad” ones – not that there were really any “good” ones.

But still, it was almost 11pm and I was about to go to sleep, but I wanted to wait a little bit longer before I called it a night. I was just hoping that I’d be able to talk to him, even if it was just to say goodnight. I missed his voice like crazy.

So when my phone lit up, I didn’t even look at the caller ID. There weren’t many people who would call me this late on a Friday – my friends were all already out for the night.

“Hello?” I sang into the receiver, already excitedly spinning around in my chair.

But the voice that responded was decidedly not Spencer.

“Hey, (y/n), right? It’s JJ.”

Her voice rang like a record scratch through my head, and I halted in my chair. “Oh, hey JJ... Why are you calling me?” Suddenly, my enthusiasm morphed into an overwhelming anxiety and darkness that threatened to crush everything in its path. “I-Is everything alright?”

But then I heard it. The sound of terrible music, loud laughter, and the general bustle of a restaurant. It was followed by an even more nervous JJ, “Uhh, yeah. Everything is fine. I was calling because Spencer might have had a few too many drinks and—“

Above the chaotic noise that I just described, I heard Spencer Reid loud and clear. Well, maybe not the clear part. His inaudible slurring sounded vaguely like a rant I’d heard before. Then again, hadn't I heard them all at this point? ?

I hadn’t put it together yet, though, and once I did, I couldn’t help but laugh. “My boyfriend is drunk? Cute.”

I was already standing, gathering my things and tossing my jacket on to head out when I asked, “Do you want me to come get him?”

“Please.” I’d never heard a more relieved woman in my life. The very thought of him driving his best friends insane with his drunken lessons was enough to combat my exhaustion. The poor thing was probably humiliating himself one sip at a time.

But for every chuckle, I was really just hiding a deeper concern. Spencer wasn’t supposed to be drinking. Spencer wasn’t allowed to drink, and he knew that. Out of the two of us, he was the one who put himself at risk more often, and I had a goddamn bullet wound.

“Sure thing. Just send me the address.”

It dawned on me somewhere along the 20 minute drive that Spencer had not only finished his case, but also come home and gone out for a drink with his team. Normally that wouldn’t bother me, but the fact that he hadn’t told me about any of it...?

I tried not to think about it, knowing that talking to him about it tonight would be a waste of time, anyway. From the way he'd sounded over the phone, he wouldn’t be in any state to talk about the deep nuances of addiction and our relationship.

So I pushed it away, trying to enjoy the fact that I’d be able to see him again. Now that we’d cleared the air about my past, things felt strangely calm. I told myself it wasn’t just the eye of the storm because I wasn't sure I could handle much more excitement lately.

Showing up at one of the bars I used to frequent didn’t do much to convince me otherwise, either. The stench of cigarette smoke and alcohol hit me like a freight train as soon as I stepped out of my car. How did I do this every other night before?

As I approached the door, I didn’t even recognize the bouncer’s figure in the shade of the dim porch light. I recognized his voice, though, that’s for sure.

“Hey Jailbait, haven’t seen you around.”

Shit. Slower now, I hesitantly approached him with the most innocent and well-meaning look I could muster, knowing full well that another part of my life was going to be exposed tonight. At least this time, Spencer was the story and not the listener.

“Hey Tom...” I nervously laughed, drawing out the words while I came to a stop.

“Heard some pretty crazy shit went down to keep you off the scene. Must be bad if it keeps you away from me.”

It was weird to think that they talked about me. But I guess it was to be expected; we were all friends before Spencer Reid. And when someone in those friend groups goes missing suddenly, there’s usually reason to be worried. But in my situation, the worry wasn’t really necessary (aside from the whole being shot thing, I guess).

“Crazy is a good word for it.”

He leaned forward, beckoning for me to move in even closer with a wave of his hand. I complied, although I was a little confused as to why we were being so secretive.

“Hey, sorry, but... I can’t let you in tonight. You know I normally would, but the place is swarming with feds tonight.”

Then I remembered that I actually had to explain the reason for my absence, rather than just think about it in the abstract. “Oh no, I know.” I peered around him, trying to spot the man past the door. It wasn’t hard, considering how goddamn tall he was.

I pointed to him, causing Tom to turn with an amused grin before I explained, “I’m here for the drunk noodle man.”

The look on his face – hilarious, and a little insulting.

“What? Jailbait’s picking up a fed? Damn girl what’ve you been into?” He laughed, barely able to control himself. He laughed so hard, in fact, I’m surprised there weren’t tears in his eyes.

“Stop that.” I whined, but he didn’t listen.

“Does he know who he’s dating?”

The question hurt more than he could have anticipated. I didn’t want to confront those messy feelings, so I bundled them all into an annoyed exclamation. “Yes, he knows!” I huffed, crossing my arms and turning away from him as I stepped towards the door. “So can I go get him?”

He composed himself rather quickly after that, shaking his head and unhooking the rope that blocked off the door. “Please do. If I have to hear one more fact about Ancient Rome, I might quit.”

With the last obstacle gone, I happily skipped through the door, the excitement returning in a bubbling wave through my chest. “Thanks, Tom!” I chirped, barely giving him a glance as I raced through the door.

The only person more surprised to see me than Tom was Spencer. Although, to his credit, I did practically launch myself at his side. We both nearly toppled to the ground thanks to our lack of coordination, but we were luckily stopped by the bar he was leaning against.

“Boo!” I shouted in his ear, hearing a small, surprised gasp from my boyfriend.

“(Y/n)?” He turned towards me now, stars quickly forming in his eyes as a big, goofy smile spread across his face. It took him a minute, but eventually he recognized me in the dim light.

“Hey old man.”

Hugging me back just a little too tightly, he began to gush, “Oh my gosh. What are you doing here?” Of course, before I could answer, he came to several other conclusions. “Wait! This is a bar. You can’t be here! You aren’t twenty one!”

He thought he was whispering, but he definitely, definitely was not.

“I’m here to pick you up, not party.” I actually whispered back, turning to see JJ practically hiding at the table. I’m guessing he hasn't wanted her to call me, although I was pretty sure he wouldn’t care at this point. He seemed pretty happy I was there.

“You can’t pick me up. You’re hurt.”

I didn’t even know where to start with that, so I just chuckled. “Smart as a whip, Dr. Reid.”

I ran my hands over his shoulders, smoothing out the wrinkled dress shirt he'd either had no time to iron, or had worn to bed the night before. I didn’t like either of those options. Spencer must have noticed me analyzing the fact, because his hand came up to stop me.

Trying to quickly change the subject, I blurted out over the terrible music, “Even when I’m hurt, I can probably still pick you up. You probably weigh the same as me.”

He scoffed, looking down at his lanky body compared to mine before shaking his head. “That’s hurtful, (y/n).” He attempted a puppy dog face, which only made laughter burst from my pursed lips.

Grabbing hold of his wrists and pulling him away from the bar, I turned and waved to the few team members I could spot among the crowd before returning to my drunken idiot of a boyfriend. “Come on, love. It’s time to take you home with me.”

When the cool autumn air hit him, I felt the goosebumps ripple over his arm. He leaned a bit closer, resting too much of his body weight on me for my comfort, but I wasn’t going to tell him to stop.

“How did you find me?” He mumbled, trying to touch me more than he currently was. Pushing him away from me was supposed to serve as a gentle reminder that we were in public, but he didn’t seem to care about that at all.

“JJ called me.”

“They all like you a lot. So do I.” His fast responses were a little less impressive considering how spontaneous they seemed, but I let it slide. As long as he was saying nice things, it was fine by me.

Guiding him as gently as possible, which is to say not gently at all considering he was essentially a human giraffe, I sighed. “I’m glad to hear it, Spencer. Maybe I can actually hang out with them one of these days.”

The guilt appeared before I could stop it, but it was the least of my worries at the moment. More concerning would be getting him into his house and in bed without either of us doing something stupid. After all, he was usually the one who stopped me from being stupid. And so far tonight, he’d already done something pretty damn stupid.

As I pulled the driver side door closed, a silence filled the car. Spencer was stuck between staring at me with a lovesick smile and looking away, probably because of his pink cheeks making him look a perfect combination of embarrassed and plastered.

“So what had you drinking, Spencer?”

“A case.” He shot back with that voice he usually reserved for the bedroom. It was the voice that told me not to press, to take his answer and let it die.

Unfortunately, I couldn't really do that this time, concerning this particular topic. . “Good thing or bad thing drinking?” I asked quietly.

I think he wanted to snap at me, to tell me that it was clear he didn’t want to talk about it, but he didn’t. The way my hands and words trembled told him that I was just as scared as he was that the answer might be the wrong one.

“I don’t know,” was what he said, instead.

“Okay.” I accepted that answer, understanding that it meant we could talk about it later, when his blood went back to normal and his mind was where it should be. “We don’t have to talk about it.”

And there we were, me sitting and staring at the indicators on the car as the engine turned, and him staring at me in the little light provided. After staring back at him for a moment, I had to ask the glaringly obvious question.

“Why are you staring at me like that?”

That’s when Spencer Reid let out an honest to god giggle, his hands reaching out to massage my face that no longer showed any signs of the black eye I'd received a few weeks prior. “You’re sooo pretty.” He drawled, slumping over in his seat so he could rest his face against my shoulder.

I couldn’t help but laugh back, petting his hair for a second before returning my attention to the wheel. “Oooh, I like this.” I whispered, letting my heart skip a few beats as he nuzzled into the warmth that only I could provide him.

“I love you.” He mumbled against my shirt, letting out a deep breath before apparently trying to fill his lungs with the smell of my laundry detergent.

The sensation of his breath hot against my neck caused a familiar desire to stir in me, just barely beaten out by the even more powerful adoration I had for the puppy-like man who was already practically asleep on my shoulder.

“I love you, too, darling.”

He didn’t hear me, his soft breath indicating that he would be out for the drive. Taking my time to avoid the roads with potholes and curves, I managed to keep Spencer on me the whole way back to his apartment. Once we were there, though, I didn’t have any option but to wake him up. Unlike him, I definitely could not carry him out of the car.

It took him a surprisingly long period of time to realize that we were not, in fact, at my place. As soon as he did notice, he rubbed his eyes like it would transform the door in front of him. “Why didn’t you take me home?”

“This is your apartment, babe.” I explained, digging through his pockets to find his keys. He jumped at the contact before letting out a sound that was way too close to a moan for him to be making in the hallway.

“Yeah that’s not home.” He answered, swallowing down other noises that threatened to erupt by the time I withdrew my hand. “But home is–“ He hiccuped, patting his finger on my nose as he tried to stabilize his feet. “Home is where you are.”

“Mmm, so smooth.” I hummed, unlocking the door and shoving his drunk ass into the apartment before he could do something else that made me question whether I should just turn around and go home.

But he just looked so proud of himself, spinning around on his feet and crashing into the table beside the door. “Thank you!” He chirped, reaching forward to grab my hand and pull me closer.

When our bodies pressed together, the first thing I noticed was the fact he was clearly much more excited to be home with me than he was letting on. The thin fabric of his slacks left little to the imagination, and when my hand slid over the tent in his pants, there was nothing left to wonder.

“I brought you here... because I didn’t want to have to be quiet.” I purred, palming his erection over his clothes.

Through his broken moans, he still managed to ask the silliest question: “Why are you going to be loud?”

He was so fucking cute; so remarkably innocent in his drunken stupor, it was hard to remember that he was the same man that once finger fucked me on the metro.

“Why do you think?” I asked just as sweetly, making quick work of the buttons on his shirt.

Spencer still just stared, mesmerized by the way the buttons slipped from the fabric between my fingers. Once they were all open, I ran my hands over his chest before wrapping my arms around his neck.

He was the one to close the gap, coming down to deliver a feverish kiss against my lips. He tasted like honey and whiskey, and I wanted nothing more than to drown in him. His hands were on my lower back, sneaking under my shirt and spreading goosebumps all over my skin.

I moaned into his mouth with the utmost desperation, murmuring words against his lips. “Take me to bed, Spencer,” I begged.

The words awoke something in him, and suddenly, his hands were off of me and raised in the air.

“Wait— I can’t.” He concluded, drawing in heavy breaths.

“Why not?”

I wasn’t sure which part of this situation did him in, although I had my suspicions. As much as I wanted him, I would suppress those urges if he was really, truly uncomfortable. I almost felt bad for a second, but then he spoke again.

“I have a girlfriend.”

With a few slow blinks, I tried to figure out how the hell I was supposed to return a serious answer. Deciding that was impossible, I deadpan replied, “I am your girlfriend, you absolute idiot.”

I took his stunned silence to be permission enough to start leading him into his room. He honestly looked like I’d just told him all the answers to the universe, and he trailed after me like my hand was a leash. Still, once I sat on the bed and pulled his body against mine, he paused again.

“My girlfriend can’t— she’s hurt. She can’t have sex with me.”

I got the impression he was trying to reason with himself more so than with me, which explained the third person. But it was deeply unsettling, because I really needed to know he was here in this moment with me.

“Stop saying 'she'. It’s me, babe.” I gently reminded, and I watched it dawn on him again, his eyes lighting up in the darkness. Sliding my hand up his arm, I pulled him forward to hopefully convince him to climb into the bed with me. “And we don’t have to have sex.”

Funny enough, Spencer was the one who had enough sense to strip off most of his clothes before he stumbled onto the mattress after me. His lack of coordination was even worse with the alcohol, and it reminded me of the virginal teenager I’m certain he once was.

It was strange to consider, that if we’d met each other under different circumstances, at a different time, our roles might have been somewhat reversed. To picture him as an innocent little thing was... kind of exciting.

But he was anything but innocent now, his face hanging over mine while he helped me disrobe, trying to focus his analytical abilities on me in his haze. Finding no pain or hesitancy, he crashed his lips over mine with an energy I hadn’t seen in some time.

And it was so invigorating, to feel his skin against mine without him having to constantly worry about whether or not he was hurting me. It’d been far too long since we shared a bed together like this, and now that it was happening, I could hardly breathe.

“God, I love her.” He whispered against my skin, before quickly correcting himself, “I love you.”

I laughed, the kind that sputters from your lips when you try to hold it back. Pushing the hair from his face, I ran my fingers over his scalp. “How drunk are you?”

“I’m not drunk, I’m stupid.” He replied with a cheeky smirk, diving back down to kiss me again. I wasn’t going to argue with the brilliant Spencer Reid, even if the point he was making was that he was, in fact, stupid.

Maybe it was stupid, the two of us tangling up in his sheets despite the fact that I hadn’t been cleared for it yet by my doctor. I knew that it was coming soon – probably at my appointment in a couple weeks, actually – so why wait? I knew that Spencer would never hurt me. Even now, his hands were gentle in their insistence, raking over my hip and stopping just short of the place where I really wanted him.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful.” He groaned, his hips rocking forward and pressing his erection against my leg.

“Touch me.” I ordered, louder and more forcefully than I intended. I was expecting an argument, but I didn’t get one. In fact, Spencer’s finger had already breached my folds before I even finished talking. Unwilling to let him be the only one to enjoy himself, I reached down to grab his cock.

“Shit.” He hissed, biting down on his lip while he rutted against my hand. “I just want to hold you down and fuck you until you cry.” The restraint was obvious in the fingers slowly sinking into me, his jaw clenched and his eyes barely able to stay open. “But I can’t.”

Through my heavy breaths, I panted out another request. “Tell me more about it.”

He immediately realized why I’d asked, and his fingers began to pump in and out of me faster and with more force, his lips trailing kisses over to my ear. While I tried to keep up the pace of my strokes, it became more complicated when his breath fanned over my ear.

“It’s been so long since I bent you over and had my way with you like I did that morning over your kitchen counter...” He moaned, and I could almost feel the sensations as he remembered them. Although his fingers would never be the same, just having him inside me in any capacity felt like pure bliss.

But he wasn’t done, continuing to speak his thoughts into my ear. “I just want to—fuck, I want to fill you up.” I went to respond, but I choked on a sob, instead. The lewd sounds between us only aided his descriptions.

“God, I love the way you feel. You’re always so wet for me.” He whispered, beginning to make small thrusts with his hips. The movement essentially allowed him to use my hand to stroke himself, and he let out another unsteady moan at the contact. “Think about what it feels like, little girl.”

“I-I am.” I could barely make the words come out; my body too sensitive to his touch after being starved of it for so long. And Spencer was ready to take full advantage of that.

“I still have so much planned for you. Don’t think I’ve forgotten about that little stunt you pulled when you got all riled up.” He growled, using his free hand to grab a fistful of my hair. He yanked my head further to the side, laying sloppy kisses along my jaw. “I told you I’d give you triple the marks you left on me, and I can’t wait to cover you with me.”

“Fuck. Please, Spencer.” I hoarsely begged, my hand on his shoulder tightening so that my nails dug into his skin. If his grip on my hair wasn’t so tight, I would have thrown my head back. Instead, I just squirmed underneath him, crying out, “I’m so close, Spencer, please!”

He did not disappoint, his fingers curling inside of me with each thrust, and by some grace of God, he was able to coordinate his thumb over my clit. As if that wasn’t enough, he pulled back to look me in the eyes.

“I want to feel you come on my fingers.” It was more of a demand than a desire, as evidenced by the way his hand tugged on my hair. “Come on, little girl. Make daddy proud.”

Just like that, my body responded to his call, my muscles trembling from the tension as my orgasm hit me like a fucking freight train. It was such an overwhelming experience, to remember exactly how Spencer was capable of making me feel.

And he knew it, too. “Oh, good girl,” he cooed, continuing his kisses against my neck and murmuring the words as they came to him. “That’s my pretty little slut.”

After taking my time coming back to earth, I struggled from the overstimulation still burning between my legs. Spencer hadn’t stopped his fingers, which were diligently stroking inside of me while he continued to buck his hips against my hand.

“I want you to finish inside me.” I slurred in my delirium, withdrawing my hand from his dick while he whimpered.

“I-I can’t. I can’t fuck you.” He was asserting a necessary and understandable hard limit, and it was clear I wouldn’t be able to convince him to fuck me that night.

But that wasn’t the plan, anyway.

“That’s not what I’m talking about.” I said between gasps, struggling against his fingers still inside me. “Come up here.” I whined, rubbing my hands on his shoulders while simultaneously trying to sit myself up.

The movement and the words made him withdraw completely. “(Y/n)...” He warned, running a hand through his hair while he sat up on his knees. “I could hurt you.”

“That’s always been a risk with us, Spencer.” My retort was both quick and persuasive, judging by the way he almost moved, but stopped himself yet again.

“Please. Please, do it. I want you to do it so fucking bad.” There was an obvious and deep desperation. I was literally begging him, to the point that I swore I almost cried. It felt stupid, but I needed him like I’d never needed anything in my life before. He’d spent months taking care of me, and I couldn’t do anything in return.

I just wanted to make him feel good, to give him something like we used to share.

Of course, I think those thoughts were also visible on my face, and they were obviously worrying him. With tender touches, Spencer’s fingers lightly trailed over the side of my face. The brief flashes of clarity alerted him of my struggle, and he let out a shaky breath at the war inside his own mind.

“I want to feel you inside me, and this is the only way.” I concluded, trying to lead him to the simplest conclusion. It was the safest, easiest way to solve both of our current problems. And although I could see how hard the decision was for him, my pleading eventually bested him.

“Fuck.” He mumbled, leaning forward to grab the headboard, staring down at me as I shimmied further up the wood.

“Fuck!” He repeated, rolling his head back with a light groan when both of my hands reached forward to grab his hips. “Fine. You’re lucky you’re so fucking cute.”

A giggle bubbled through my throat, and my body actually bounced in excitement as he slowly positioned himself in front of me. I wasn’t even sure which I was more excited for, my own orgasm or getting to finally give him one again.

As soon as my mouth closed around the head of his dick, I got my answer. Spencer’s moan filled the room, his hands holding so firmly on the headboard that the entire bed creaked. Although I figured he’d been taking care of himself in my absence, it appeared that wasn’t entirely the case. He seemed just as starved as I was.

“Holy shit.” He groaned, dropping a hand to the top of my head. I had to remind myself that he was drunk, which explained why he seemed so much more responsive than normal, with whimpers and pants flowing steadily through his mouth. He only got louder as he began to slowly push himself further into my mouth, stopping every few inches to retreat before pressing further.

“God, I need to do this more often. No back talk, no whining.” He said in a low tone under his breath, beginning to settle on a steady rhythm.

Meanwhile, I couldn’t think of anything except how fucking good it felt to be useful again, to feel him struggling to hold himself back as he started to more aggressively fuck my mouth. My eyes could barely stay open, but I needed them to. I needed to see him in the dim light of the streetlights that peered through the window.

He looked so beautiful, so perfect, and so mine. Feeling him slide back and forth against my tongue revived memories from long before and reignited my longstanding desire to do anything to please him. In all his caretaking, I was worried he might have forgotten how to control me.

But he hadn't. Thank god, he hadn’t.

“Come on, little girl. Earn your fill.” He whispered, burying himself in my throat and holding me against the headboard. I only lightly choked on the intrusion before my body complied, swallowing him further until my lips were pressed against the base of him.

Suddenly, Spencer withdrew, beginning a brutal, dizzying pace. Now, my eyes couldn’t stay open, rolling to the back of my head as I used my hands to steady myself against his thighs. The sobs trying to escape felt more like moans, and they shoved Spencer over the edge he’d been riding in his caution.

“That’s it. Take it.” He barked the instruction, looking down at me and smiling, “Don’t you dare spill any of it, do you hear me?”

My answer was stifled against him, just the way he wanted it to be. And with a few more rough thrusts, Spencer buried himself as deep as possible. I swore my heart synchronized with the pulsing against my tongue as his seed spilled down my throat.

I hollowed my cheeks, trying to drain every last drop from him as he finished. It had its desired effect, and Spencer grabbed my hair and forced himself deeper one more time with a growl. “Good girl.”

Once he had enough, he pulled out of me with a satisfied grunt, waiting just a second before clumsily falling onto the bed beside me. I laughed as he hit the pillows, obviously too tired to even reposition himself in the disastrous sheets.

“Thank you, daddy.” I spoke in the silence, gingerly cleaning the spit that had dripped down my chin.

“Fuck.” The curse was muffled in the pillow, but I understood it well enough. He seemed more concerned when I started to sink down into the sheets again, reaching a tentative hand out to him.

Finally rolling over, he grabbed my arm and guided me closer. “Come here.” He said with the tenderness I’d grown used to over the past few months. He turned towards me, apparently not ready for me to sleep on my side just yet.

He brushed my hair from my face, lifting the sheets to look at the now mostly healed wound. I hated it when he looked at it. It just reminded me that I’d never be the same girl he first met. Every time he saw it, he would remember that day. I didn’t want to think about it.

“Are you alright? Are you hurt?”

But even with the insecurity and anger in my gut, I wasn’t lying when I answered. “No, I’m fine.” My heart was so full, my body relaxing for the first time in so long. I was just so unbelievably happy to be together again. Even if it wasn’t like last time, it was still just as wonderful.

“I’m a little better than fine, actually.” I admitted with a bright smile.

Spencer hummed something in thought, but then winced. “Do me a favor.” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes and wiping a heavy hand over his face.

“Anything.”

“Kick my ass in the morning.”

He was caught off guard by my response, which was a full-hearted laugh that was too loud for how close the two of were. But I couldn’t help it, it was just so Spencer to still be punishing himself despite the fact that nothing bad had happened.

Once I calmed down enough to talk, I turned to him with a devilish grin. “I don’t wanna.”

Then were both laughing, and Spencer pulled me close to him until he could rest his chin on the top of my head, curling up against my side. “Spoiled brat.” He whined, running his hand through my hair and down my arm.

When I smelled the whiskey on his breath, the guilt hit me just as hard as any of the pleasure. I'd been so excited to get to experience this with him again, I almost forgot the reason he didn’t want to do it in the first place.

He just didn’t want to hurt me. He just wanted to make me happy.

“I just wanted to be with you again... I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” I whispered, pulling the covers up so that I could hide my shame beneath them.

“I wanted to be with you, too.” He reassured me, half asleep and barely able to talk but wanting to get the words out. “I know it’s important to you, but I need you to know I would be with you even if I never got to touch you again.”

“Please never stop touching me.” I quickly replied, a genuine worry in my eyes.

But when Spencer glanced over, he just laughed, “I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.”

“No? Even when I get pregnant and have a big ol’ belly?” I playfully answered, bringing his hand to my stomach and pressing it against the side that still remained intact.

The familiar position caused a shift in Spencer’s body language, and suddenly he was even more insistent on being impossibly closer. “You’ll still be irresistible to me.” He said against my hair, running his fingers lightly over the unmarked skin of my lower stomach.

“We’ll see, I guess.” I mumbled, not realizing that I said it aloud until I heard his confused reply.

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing.” The defensiveness in my voice was terrifyingly transparent, and I hoped that if his drinking made him forget anything, it would be this conversation. “Go to sleep, drunk ass.”

“I need hugs and kisses first.” He complained, rubbing his nose against me in a way that should have been irritating instead of adorable.

“Spoiled.” I grumbled, reaching a hand up to play with his hair. I turned to kiss his cheek through the smile that was plastered over my cheeks.

Already half snoring in his sleepy state, he got out one more cringe worthy joke before he succumbed to his exhaustion. “What’s good for the goose...”

“...is good for the gander.” I finished for him, before taking the advice and following him to sleep.

—————————————————

| Part 18 |

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joysmercer · 5 years ago

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Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 7: A Timeline

Season 6 Finale: Wednesday, 5/8 to Wednesday, 5/15/2019

E1 (“MANHUNTER”): Thursday, 6/6/2019

E2 (“CAPTAIN KIM”): Friday, 6/7 to Monday, 6/10/2019

E3 (“PIMENTO”): Tuesday, 6/18 to Thursday, 6/20/2019 + Thursday, 6/27/2019

E4 (“THE JIMMY JAB GAMES II”): Friday, 6/21/2019

E5 (“DEBBIE”): Saturday, 6/22 to Sunday, 6/23/2019

E6 (“TRYING”): Monday, 6/24/19 to late January 2020

E7 (“DING DONG”): Day 1 to Day 3, mid-March 2020

E8 (“THE TAKEBACK”): Friday, 3/27 to Monday, 3/30/2020

E9 (“DILLMAN”): around 4/10/2020

E11 (“VALLOWEASTER”): Thursday, 10/31/2019 + Friday, 2/14/2020 + Sunday, 4/12/2020 to Monday, 4/13/2020

E10 (“ADMIRAL PERALTA”): mid-May 2020 + around 6/17/2020 + Friday, 6/26 to Saturday, 6/27/2020

E12 (“RANSOM”): Day 1 to Day 3, mid-August 2020

E13 (“LIGHTS OUT”): Day 1, around 10/20/2020

explanations for the dates are under the cut!

Things to keep in mind:

The B/C-plots, for the most part, are not included in the calculation of the times here, because they rarely have the same number of days as the A-plot.

I didn’t take weekends into consideration unless otherwise noted. There is a weekend squad, but we know that the regular detectives also sometimes work weekends (enough so that on more than one occasion, Holt has rewarded them with “weekends off”).

Time-stamps within the episode are used as guidelines, but not always as the rule, unless there is a specific number of days given.

7x01-early 7x06 all have to happen in June so that they can start The Amy Way in July. Please refer to 7x06 for the explanation for the dates on these episodes.

Season 6 Finale: 5/8-5/15/2019

Has to start and end on a Wednesday; two or more weeks must pass until 7x02.

7x01: 6/6/2019

As per Amy's period in Trying, it has to be at the beginning of the month.

Continuity: Since patrol cops spend “6 months on the same beat,” which Holt is still doing in December, assume that when Debbie says it’s his “first week on the job,” she means his current beat.

Continuity: her period technically is supposed to start somewhere between 6/2 and 6/7. Assume when she says it’s “late,” she means by just a few days. After all, for the July calendar to be accurate, it can’t be late by more than a week.

7x02: 6/7-6/10/2019

Day 1 – cold open // Day 2 – they meet Cpt. Kim // Day 3 – Party // Day 4 – last scene

Kim got an “email from two weeks ago” from Wunch. Cold-open is on 6/7, a Friday (because Rosa has the weekend off and, therefore, wouldn’t be there to meet Wunch on Day 2 of the episode). The timestamp on the last scene—Day 4—says that it's a Monday.

7x03: 6/18-6/27/2019

Day 1, 6/18 - cold open

Day 2, 6/19 - visit Pimento’s doctor; Pimento spends the night at Charles’s

Day 3, 6/20 - HR seminar + Pimento in hospital

Day 10: “One Week Later” from Day 3.

Per the cold-open, Amy is ovulating during this episode. Also, Jimmy Jabs are on 6/21.

Continuity: The Masked Singer finale/premiere dates don’t make sense. But the contestant they mentioned didn’t even exist in season 1 of TMS, so it’s excusable.

Continuity: The last scene takes place during “Trying.” Roll with it.

7x04: 6/21/2019

14 days since Rosa last took a vacation—7x02—and a Friday because Amy skips a seminar that was probably wasn’t scheduled for a weekend.

Continuity: Rosa and Jocelyn had apparently been dating “a year” at this point. It was probably shorter than that.

Continuity: This episode most likely takes place before Trying: Jake mentions Amy being more, erm, adventurous now that they’re trying to conceive, and that doesn’t really fit in with the overly-scheduled sex UD-ing that was happening from July 2019 and onwards. Plus, the stress/potential injury that such a competition would bring definitely doesn’t fit in with The Amy Way.

7x05: 6/22-6/23/2019

Debbie steals the cocaine at end of 7x04; assume 7x05 is the day after. The final scene is the day after the rest of the episode.

Continuity: They mention Debbie’s journals from “this year,” and specify that they were written on “August 21.” Assume this means August 2018.

7x06: 6/24/19 - late January 2020

On the calendars in the war room, “Menstruation” lasts about five days and starts around the 4th of every month; “Ovulation” starts around the 15th of every month and lasts about a week. Amy presumably took a pregnancy test at the very end of every month—not only were these scenes always followed by calendar flips, but she would have to take the tests at least two weeks after ovulation but before she got her period.

The calendar invites/The Jake Way happen in June—so Amy still has to be ovulating at the start of the episode—because they start The Amy Way in July.

The Amy Way fails for the last time in December. The pregnancy test she takes before Hitchcock announces that his girlfriend is pregnant was late December (around 12/30). The next test she would take—the last scene in the episode—would be late January (around 1/30).

Assuming it isn’t a false positive (which is unlikely, considering her doctor would have double-checked this before putting her on fertility medication), the earliest she can get pregnant would be mid-February.

7x07: lasts about a week and ends mid-March 2020.

Has to be after 2/14 but before 4/12, based on Holt’s uniform changes in Valloweaster.

It’s very likely that Amy’s just a few weeks pregnant here since she wasn’t suspicious at all until her doctor brought it up; if the hormones messed up her cycle a bit and she got pregnant mid to late-February, she was 3-4 weeks pregnant in this episode and wouldn’t have noticed until taking the test.

Continuity: I’m assuming that the “Ebola Doctor” was Craig Spencer. He contracted the virus in 2014, so “six years ago” makes sense.

7x08: 3/27-3/30/2020.

Since it’s Holt’s first day back, this episode is relatively soon after 7x07, but with a week or two in between to account for paperwork and official promotion procedures.

Day 1: Friday (The bachelor’s party is over the weekend)

Day 2: Saturday (heist)

Judy’s friends were clearly arrested at nighttime, and that + the change of clothing indicates that Jake and the Judy’s had to have come home the next day.

Day 3: Sunday (Jake comes home)

Day 4: Monday (last scene)

Continuity: The screen on the computer that one of Judy’s men hacks into says “Last Login: March 27 2015.″ Since this episode obviously takes place in 2020, just ignore that.

7x09: ~4/10/2020

Earlier than June—Terry’s kids are still in school (Spring Semester). Also probably(?) a Friday, since Terry’s kids have a concert and it’s unlikely they’ll have one in the middle of the week.

The Friday before Easter (7x11) is April 10.

7x10: Mid-May 2020 (cold open), ~6/17/2020, 6/26/2020-6/27/2020

Cold-Open: pregnancy reveal and end of 1st trimester.

Day 2: Jake tells his father that they’re having a sex-reveal party “Next Friday,” indicating two Fridays after this day. Therefore, this conversation happened around June 17, 2020 (The Wednesday that is approximately 18 weeks from mid-February).

Day 3: Friday, Day of the party (June 26)

Day 4: Amy finds out; day after Day 3 (June 27)

Continuity: The entirety of 7x11 takes place before this one.

7x11: 10/31/19, 2/14/20, and 4/12-4/13/2020

7x12: Day 1-Day 3, Mid-8/2020

Day 1: Cold Open

Day 2: find cheddar

Day 3: B- and C-plots end

Shakespeare in the Park is usually held in Prospect Park over the summer. Halfway between 7x10 and 7x13 is the end of August; I made it mid-August so it’s still technically “Summer.”

Continuity: Amy’s only 6 months pregnant in this episode and her baby shower is the weekend after. However, in season 5, Gina also had her baby shower at around 5/6 months, so this isn’t unusual for these characters. Plus, this is Amy we’re talking about—she probably had a registry ready to go within days of finding out about the pregnancy.

7x13: Day 1, late-10/2020.

The elevator expiry is listed as 12/20/2020 and it was inspected “4 months ago.” elevators in New York are inspected every 6 months, which means that the last inspection was 6/20/2020 and it is now (mid to late-)October.

Later in the month (10/20/2020* or later) matches up with Amy getting pregnant in mid-February: her due-date would be mid-November, and it makes sense for her to start maternity leave about 3 weeks beforehand.

Continuity: Amy going on leave so early explains why she didn’t have a maternity bag stashed somewhere in the precinct—we all know that she would have had one had she been working right up to her due date. Also, although Amy’s FOMOW would make her want to stay at the precinct right up until she gave birth, if her doctor recommended her to take rest earlier (which is likely, given how stressful/strenuous her job is…), she would have followed those orders properly.

Thank you to @feeisamarshmallow for talking through this with me!

* baby Mac could definitely be either a Libra or a Scorpio :)

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numgul123 · 4 years ago

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21 Of The Greatest Love Tales From Actual Individuals

Love is actual and these love tales reinforce the magic of affection.

We surveyed our associates and located the perfect love tales on the market. Get pleasure from all these magical tales of true

love

1. “I knew I used to be in love the primary time I noticed him cry in entrance of me. We had been in an extended distance relationship, I used to be dropping him off on the airport after our first week collectively. We had spent quick instances collectively on both aspect of the nation, however this was the primary time we had spent a major time period collectively. It was raining outdoors and I seen his eyes effectively up as I pulled up close to the airport. We embraced and it took all the things I needed to let go. I knew leaving me was so onerous for him as a result of he hadn’t cried in years; he’s not the sort to be susceptible. I needed to verify we by no means needed to say goodbye like that once more. It’s been Four years and there’s now not a 5 hour aircraft trip separating us, each time I have a look at him I really feel simply as cherished as I did in that second.” — Melissa, 27

2. “I watched her maintain her little brother whereas he cried as a result of he was too little to know that their mother was coming again. She’d by no means appeared extra stunning, I felt in that second that she was the perfect particular person I’d ever know.” — Chris, 24

3. “I went to Philly and noticed a mural avenue artwork tour the place you journey on a practice line and all of the murals appear to be they had been written by somebody attempting to inform a practice passenger that they love them, it’s referred to as A Love Letter For You. Each single one felt prefer it was about him, like listening to a music on a loop. ” — Sharanya, 2

4. “We had been strolling my roommates canine and the solar was taking place, it was fall. She checked out me simply because the brightest ray hit her eyes, that are usually a really customary brown, however in that cut up second they had been the brightest gold, and I simply needed to inform her I used to be in love.” — Joseph, 24

5. “He held my hair again whereas I vomited all night time after blacking out at his celebration and making a idiot of myself. The subsequent morning, he had breakfast and ibuprofen on deck. If that aint love, then I don’t know what love is.” — Erin, 25

6. “I knew I cherished her when she was puking in a bin after we acquired house from consuming, she stored yelling “don’t look!” and I swear I simply needed to kiss her.” — Andrew, 22

7. “I heard her snicker within the eating corridor. It was obnoxious. I may hear it from outdoors, up the steps, within the foyer. I needed to discover the woman with that snicker, I swear to God I knew that I felt like if I may make her snicker, I’d have all the things I wanted.” — Cody, 27

8. “He learn a brief story out loud at school. I heard his accent and I used to be hooked, after which his writing moved me to tears, and I used to be so embarrassed and much more hooked.” — Heather, 28

9. “We met on-line and I used to be so nervous going to our date. After I sat down, the very first thing she mentioned to me was, ‘Oh, thank god, you’re not a dude.’ (Apparently guys use lesbian courting apps to fulfill ladies?) And I simply laughed so onerous at that. It actually broke the ice. I don’t know, I believe, wanting again after 2 years collectively, I should have recognized I cherished her then.” — Kim, 27

10. “I noticed him dancing on the bar, like rubbing his ass on one in all my associates. We had been all out collectively and he was laying it on thick to get my associates to love him. He appeared so silly.” — Jamie, 21

11. “We’d solely been seeing one another for 2 weeks when she acquired into a very unhealthy automobile accident. She was within the hospital for a complete weekend, she wakened and barely remembered who I used to be, so I gave her an envelope stuffed with all our texts and the receipts for the primary date we now have printed out. It got here again to her and I noticed I may by no means lose her.” — Luke, 29

12. “I knew I cherished him once I requested him for a cigarette outdoors of a bar and he took out a pack of Marlboro reds, my model.” — Kate, 25

13. “I used to be courting his greatest pal and we had been fairly sad, and I used to be going via my pal’s texts to see if she had been texting her ex once I noticed texts from him, saying that he was in love with me and couldn’t assist it. I do know it’s tousled as a result of I used to be together with his pal, however in that second I knew I used to be silly, head over heels, off my ass in love with him too.” — Christina, 31

14. “My boyfriend and I had been collectively about Three months once I realized I cherished him. It hit me out of nowhere, really. I actually wasn’t positive if him and I had been going to get to that time. One night time, we had been driving again to his condominium and we acquired off the freeway and there was this younger lady crying frantically on the aspect of the street and so he advised me to drag over and he jumped out of the automobile and helped this lady, who had apparently misplaced her cat. He acquired again within the automobile after that and I checked out him like he was a totally totally different particular person. Yeah, that was 5 years in the past. Nonetheless in love.” — Rose, 32

15. “She adopted me into the toilet on the bar simply to make out with me. How may I not fall in love together with her?” — Owen, 24

16. “He met my mother and father and I hadn’t come out but. He was indignant with me for not having come out and I believed the assembly would go horribly fallacious, however when my mother and father requested him how he knew me, he instantly answered by saying ‘I’m his girlfriend’s greatest pal!’ They cherished him. I got here out the following day.” — Sam, 27

17. “He fell on his ass in entrance of me and large group of individuals, it was snowing. I went to assist him up and he pulled me down with him and mentioned ‘it’s not so unhealthy down right here with a reasonably woman.’ So tacky, so excellent.” — Sarah, 23

18. “I do know that is the cheesiest factor ever and I by no means thought this type of stuff occurs till it occurred to me. I knew i cherished her the second I noticed her. It was immediate. I used to be utterly mesmerized by her. Then, she laughed at one thing her pal mentioned, and I used to be like, that is it for me. I must know this lady instantly. Fortunately, she fell in love with me, too.” — Kwesi, 29

19. “Wakened from a dream the place she didn’t exist, that was the entire dream. We’d solely been courting for a couple of weeks, however I had this dream the place I couldn’t discover her and I wakened sweating. I felt like I knew what love felt like, the sensation that you just couldn’t probably lose that particular person.” — Brendan, 23

20. “Once we kissed for the primary time and he or she was AWFUL however I needed to maintain kissing her anyway, I knew it was love.” — Kyle, 20

21. “I’ve been in love earlier than however I’m undecided if there was ever a particular second the place I simply ‘knew.’ I believe love kind of occurs slowly, then all of sudden. It’s just like the particular person is there, they’ve at all times been there, however you begin noticing little particulars about them – the way in which they snicker once they assume one thing is de facto humorous, how they give the impression of being within the morning once they’re drained and quiet, the small noises they make once they’re getting snug – all of this stuff they’ve been doing for years they don’t even understand they do anymore however are utterly distinctive to them and new to you. Every second of discovery will increase simply how endearing you discover them till it builds up and builds up after which you don't have any selection however to blurt out “I LOVE YOU!” when doing one thing completely mundane collectively like searching for glassware at Goal or standing in line at a live performance.” — Jeanne, 25

Be happy to share your real love tales within the feedback!

Bonus: 6 Heartwarming Love Tales About Misplaced Loves Lastly Reuniting

1. like being struck by lightning: “Reuniting with my misplaced love was like being struck by lightning. He and I had been in a severe relationship again in highschool 30 years in the past. My mom didn't approve of our relationship and sadly despatched me out of the realm to maintain me away from him….Then this previous October I obtained an e mail….We emailed forwards and backwards for a couple of weeks after which I spoke with him on the telephone and that’s when the dam broke! All of the feelings got here pouring down on me simply listening to his voice. In a really quick time it grew to become clear that we had very robust emotions for each other….Proper now we're going to be seeing one another month-to-month, and I might be promoting my property on the finish of the college 12 months to maneuver as much as his space. I really like him with all my coronary heart and soul and don’t care what faults he has. I might do something for him. It’s onerous for those who haven’t skilled this to know it. By no means in my wildest desires may I've imagined this to occur. It's a curler coaster of very intense emotions that don’t at all times make sense to me! And it’s so onerous to be other than him now! When my mom broke us up, she returned his class ring that he had given me to his mom. For Christmas, he discovered the category ring, and wrapped it up for me, I used to be very touched. I put on it round my neck on a gold chain now to remind me of him. I look to our future with a lot hope and optimism.”

2. I'm so pleased: “In 1998 I met the love of my life in Sudan. A beautiful Sudanese musician who introduced out the perfect in me day by day. His presence in my life was just like the solar shining in. When he carried out, he sang for me solely. I used to be working in Sudan on the time, we had been going to get married and have stunning youngsters and reside fortunately ever after. There was a battle happening, I used to be working with war-affected youngsters and the federal government kicked me out. I used to be devastated and cried for six months. Heartbroken for years. We didn't handle to fulfill up once more and we each married unhappily. Final week, after 14 years, we had been reunited for two days and the love is as robust as ever. I really feel so blessed. Too previous to have these youngsters now, however that is going to be the perfect 12 months ever as we're free to journey and see one another. My dream of gracefully rising previous with him is coming true in spite of everything….I'm so pleased.”

3. The emotions and feelings got here flooding again with a vengeance: “Met my misplaced love virtually 30 years in the past in highschool….In a nutshell we shared chemistry and a sexual rigidity that was palpable to these round us. We often kissed (typically passionately), however by no means crossed the road from associates to lovers. After three years of being associates, hanging out and serving to one another (right here and there) our friendship blossomed into one thing extra. We lastly shared a kiss that was simple. Sadly, parental disapproval was the trigger for me leaving my love. We drifted aside and our contact to one another grew to become much less and fewer. Nonetheless, I by no means forgot her though after 20 years I ‘thought’ the previous was the previous. We just lately reconnected and determined to fulfill one afternoon and get caught up on the intervening years, nothing extra. What occurred subsequent was so surprising. The emotions and feelings got here flooding again with a vengeance. It was as if our relationship had been positioned on maintain. We rekindled our relationship inside of 1 week. Our second-chance relationship has been essentially the most emotionally charged relationship of my life. The fears, feelings, grief, regrets, all the things—all the things got here again like a flood. Over the following few months we talked about all the things possible. We married in simply over 6 months. My soulmate, my love, and now—my spouse….Our rekindled relationship has been essentially the most unbelievable journey, that began virtually three a long time in the past and lasted via all these lonely years.”

4. I needed to combat again tears: “As a young person, I had the type of love that everybody desires of discovering. My most cherished reminiscence is an unbelievable feeling of oneness once we would maintain one another and shed tears of pleasure whereas being overwhelmed by love. At such instances, there was no want for phrases as a result of we simply knew. She had extra of an affect on my life than anybody else that I've recognized….After drawing me away from unhealthy influences once we acquired collectively, she began hanging out with the fallacious crowd 4 years later. Being younger, formidable, and silly, I broke up together with her so as to save myself from being drawn again within the fallacious path. I at all times had second ideas about that call and by no means stopped loving her. I used to be haunted by the reminiscence of her final phrases once we broke up, which had been ‘I really like you.’…I lastly determined that I needed to contact her about 30 years after we broke up, 25 years since I final noticed her, and 20 years since her final letter….I used to be thrilled that she was pleased to listen to from me and that she had been looking for me….Throughout the lengthy drive to our hometown, I needed to combat again tears each time I believed what it might be prefer to look into her eyes for the primary time in a long time…I instantly felt snug together with her, and we picked up proper the place left off a few years in the past. She stored her hair lengthy, and it felt so good to run a brush via it once more. Behaving like youngsters, we spent the primary night going parking and listening to our favourite songs….We by no means acquired to spend the night time collectively as youngsters. When it lastly occurred, I lay there beside her awake all night time pondering how fortunate I used to be to have her again.”

5. even a continent couldn’t separate us: “Three-year-old Anne moved together with her household to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, simply 4 homes down from my household; I used to be 5, and we two grew to become instant associates. I used to be Anne’s protector and hero….I hadn’t spoken to Anne in additional than 30 years, however I knew her sister lived in Denver so I gave her a name once I arrived. She advised me that Anne additionally lived on the town, and he or she advised that all of us get collectively. As quickly as Anne and I noticed one another, our hearts had been singing. All the pleasure and pleasure they we had skilled collectively as youngsters reworked itself right into a mature kind; we had been in love. We noticed one another as soon as extra earlier than I returned to Pennsylvania and Anne left for Europe to spend the Christmas vacation season together with her youngsters. However now even a continent couldn’t separate us. At the moment we live our lives collectively, once more with pleasure, enthusiasm, and pleasure!…And naturally now we now have our youngsters, too. What a miracle!”

6. Now we’ve misplaced all of our teenage inhibitions: “Eric and I met in 1950 and from the second we started courting I knew we had been made for one another. We had a lot enjoyable—Eric was at all times making me snicker…I by no means forgot about Eric. Each time I heard our music, ‘Jealous Coronary heart’, by Connie Francis, I recalled the primary time Eric kissed me….[Then one day] I used to be serving on the bar when a voice I’d not heard for practically 40 years requested me if there was any likelihood of a pint. I appeared up and there was Eric, the hair was greyer and the face a bit of extra wrinkled however aside from that he was simply as good-looking as ever….Our relationship is simply as passionate and bodily as earlier than, though now we’ve misplaced all of our teenage inhibitions.”

#selfimprovement selfimprovements SelfImprovementEveryday SelfImprovementsDaily selfimprovementcoach selfimprovementismydrug selfimprovementp

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lovehaswonangelnumbers · 5 years ago

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New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/planet-alert-july-2020/

Planet Alert July 2020

By Mahala’s Astrology

In my last article I talked about the July 4th eclipse. We are starting to move into that energy now which is a lunar full moon eclipse on July 4th at 9:29 PM PDT. This is on Saturday night and the sun will be on 13 degrees Cancer, which is right over Washington D.C. The moon will be on 13 degrees Capricorn which is over China. This is going to be a powerful full moon and with the sun over Washington D. C. I am sure there will be more chaos caused by our leaders. Mars will be in Aries on this eclipse so please keep your cool. Mars is considered the war planet and rules anger. A week after this full moon Mars will be squaring this eclipse degree and may trigger more strong energy. In other words, the energy from the end of June until July 14 will be a very intense time period.

This eclipse is on 13 degrees. The number 13 is the number of the Goddess and the Mayan Calendar is based on the number 13. In the Mayan calendar the time bandits from Jupiter and Saturn stole time and changed the number 13 to the number 12 so they could shut out the Goddess. They even ignored the 13th sign of the zodiac which is Ophiuchus/Asclepius which is the sign of Spider Grandmother who spun her web and controlled the other signs of the zodiac until her power was taken away. She is taking back her power now because there was a tremendous explosion in the Ophiuchus constellation on February 27, 2020. Here is a link to that explosion. Ophiuchus Supercluster explosion.

On this upcoming full moon Jupiter will be on 23 degrees Capricorn and Pluto will be on 24 degrees Capricorn and they are both in a square to Eris (the goddess of chaos). Pluto rules plagues, viruses, and bacterial infections. This 24th degree of Capricorn means a woman entering a Convent. No wonder we have been shut in for such a long period of time because of the virus. People are starting to get restless and that is one of the reasons they have been demonstrating. Jupiter will be retrograding away from Pluto in mid-July so maybe the virus will slow down until November when Jupiter again conjuncts Pluto. Then around the Winter Solstice Jupiter will be conjunct Saturn in the sign of Aquarius. This is the Dawning of the Age of Aquarius.

The north node was in Cancer for a year and a half and in May the node moved into Gemini, which is a fast-acting sign and the demonstrations started. The north node is now on 28 degrees Gemini and the south node is in Sagittarius which is the sign of freedom. Now the north node is on the degree that means a release from unbearable pressures, freeing one for new tasks. We are at a turning point. The July 4th eclipse will be the last eclipse in Cancer for a long time. Cancer rules the home, family, and sickness. Gemini and Sagittarius rule freedom, which is an entirely different energy.

I think we will see much action from this July 4th lunar eclipse because Mars is in Aries on 4 degrees. This degree means the progressive polarization released by a sense of identification with a greater whole. Mars will be in Aries until January 6. 2021. Wow! Here in Seattle we have a new little city called CHAZ in the middle of our city. There is talk of this being taken down this weekend at the time of the full moon. Please send light to the Capital Hill Autonomous Zone or CHAZ. We do not need any more violence in our city. Thank you!

Wobble of VenusVenus, the Goddess planet, finished her 8 year cycle on June 3 and now she is in a new 8 year cycle. It takes Venus 8 years to create a 5 pointed star in the heavens which forms a beautiful design.

The tribulation talked about in the Bible started on December 26, 2004 with a large Tsunami in SE Asia that killed thousands of people. The tribulation started then because the dwarf planet Eris was announced on January 5, 2005 and she is the planet of chaos. We entered the era of chaos at that time and it continues until today. There was another large Tsunami in Japan in 2010 which was very destructive and there have been many large earthquakes, hurricanes, storms, flooding and fires all over the world. The chaos continues and the chaos has built up to the breaking point where there will be change before too long because out of chaos comes a new creation.

We are now in the Great Tribulation that is talked about in the Bible. We entered this time period on May 24, 2020 when the demonstrations started because of the death of George Floyd. Now we have a combination of the virus and the demonstrations all over the world. With Mars in Aries and the south node in Sagittarius, there will definitely be people standing up and demanding their freedom. This will include black people, white people, Chinese people and everyone else in the world. We are also in the time period of “Two people will be in a field, one will be taken and one will be left.” This separation is going on right now with the virus and by people choosing which time-line they want to be on. We are at the Time of the End.

The last 3½ plus years has been very chaotic because we elected a president who was born with his Saturn on 23 degrees Cancer in an exact square to Eris on 23 degrees Aries. He is the King of Chaos. We needed someone to create this great chaos because out of chaos comes a new creation. Because he is President of the USA, he seems to affect the whole world. Jer(usa)lem has the word (USA) in it. When the Bible talks about Jerusalem and the prophecies it is usually referring to the United States.

The line-up of planets in Capricorn in January indicated it was time for governments to change. Pluto is the planet that destroys things or takes them down. Pluto also rules viruses and bacteria infections. Pluto is in Capricorn which rules governments. Pluto has been in a square aspect to Eris for a while now and that has caused the virus and the transformation of our government. Pluto is now conjunct Jupiter which is a very large planet. This energy has caused the virus to go out of control so we are all wearing masks to keep from getting the virus. Jupiter will move into Aquarius in December so the virus will probably be gone by then.

I had a dream 10 years ago that first we were sleeping and when we woke up everything had changed and there was no government and we were setting up communities of light. This will probably happen on a higher frequency earth. Maybe we will just wake up on a new earth one day or maybe we will be transported by ships. We have gone through much dark energy in the past few months and now it is time to come into the light. The next and last prophecy is the return of the ships of light and the movement to the new earth. I am almost positive this will happen before the end of this year. I can hardly wait.

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babylon-corgis · 5 years ago

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I was tagged by the wonderful @sunflowerofficials like two weeks ago and I finally finished it lol

Song titles

Rules: only using song titles from one artist/band, cleverly answer the questions and tag 10 people

Artist: 5 Seconds of Summer

What’s your gender? Good Girls

How are you feeling? Gotta Get Out

If you could go anywhere? San Francisco

Favourite mode of transportation? Airplanes (I hate flying but it fits the best)

Your best friend? She Looks So Perfect

Favourite time of day? Daylight

If your life was a tv show? Unpredictable

Relationship status? Lonely Heart

50 questions you’ve never been asked

1. What is the colour of your hairbrush? Pink

2. A food you never eat? EGGS and meatloaf

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? Too cold

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Scrolling mindlessly through Pinterest...

5. What is your favourite candy bar? REESE’S STICKS, Kit Kats, anything Milka, English Cadbury, peppermint Ritter Sport

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event? A Celtics game when I was in high school but that’s it

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? I’ve been singing along to old 5SOS songs after answering the song title questions

8. What is your favourite ice cream? Chocolate peanut butter cookie dough from a local ice cream stand, other than that pretty much anything chocolate

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Lemonade

10. Do you like your wallet? My wallet has pigs on it and almost every cashier has commented on it

11. What was the last thing you ate? Salt and vinegar chips (I could live off of salt and vinegar chips)

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? Nope

13. The last sporting event you watched? I went to all of the track meets that my middle schoolers were in last spring

14. What is your favourite flavour of popcorn? I like it with lots of salt, not too much butter (I’m lactose intolerant) and I usually share it with my cat lol. I also LOVE the chocolate drizzle corn from Popcorn Indiana, I could eat the entire bag in 10 minutes (and I like to put it on top of ice cream which disgusts everyone but oh well)

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? My work best friend about one of our students who’s missing some schoolwork and he was making a spreadsheet to track everything, he loves spreadsheets...(but he taught me how to use Excel finally which somehow I never learned how to use?)

16. Ever go camping? I’ve been quite a few times but most of the time it was camping out in a cow barn at county fairs

17. Do you take vitamins? I take a hair and skin vitamin gummy thing (I don’t know if it’s working but I love the taste of it)

18. Do you go to church every sunday? I’ve actually never been to a church service...

19. Do you have a tan? HAHAHAHAHA I’M SO PALE

20. Do you prefer chinese food or pizza? Okay this was probably the hardest question but I have to go with pizza (fun fact: the first word I ever read was pizza)

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? No

22. What colour socks do you usually wear? I buy whatever socks are on sale at Target so I have a lot of plain black ones, some colorful patterned ones, and a lot with dogs on them

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? Nope

24. What terrifies you? The snake that came into my kitchen (curse old houses with field stone foundations), spiders, never making anything of my life, being stuck in my small town forever, never seeing the world, my family and friends dying, robots, drive thrus...

25. Look to your left, what do you see? My messy dresser that I use as a nightstand that I have to clean but still haven’t oops

26. What chore do you hate? Cleaning the cow’s water tank, you have to use a bucket to bail out the water and it’s big and there’s a tree that drops its nasty leaves in it and they get all slimy and I hate it, also cleaning the chicken coops because they’re so dusty. Just fun farm things!

27. What do you think of when you hear an australian accent? I immediately think of Steve Irwin because The Crocodile Hunter was my childhood but then 5SOS, The Wiggles, Amy Shark, and wombats because they are adorable

28. What’s your favourite soda? Ginger ale

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? If you refer back to #24 you would learn that drive thrus TERRIFY me for some unknown reason so unless I’m looking to have at least two full blown panic attacks I go in :)

30. Who’s the last person you talked to? My mom

31. Favourite cut of beef? My dude I raise beef cattle and grew up showing them and competing in skill-a-thons where I would have to judge cuts of beef, but chicken fried steak is one of my favorite meals and you use cubed steak for that (plus we always sell all of the fancy cuts so we get left with a lot of the leftovers and odd cuts)

32. Last song you listened to? Voodoo Doll - 5 Seconds of Summer

33. Last book you read? It’s a tie between Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone that I’ve been reading out loud to my pigs and To Kill a Mockingbird that my 8th graders are reading in English

34. Favourite day of the week? With all that’s going on now I can barely tell which day is which but I’m currently obsessed with a VERY cheesy show called The Baker and the Beauty and it’s on Monday nights so I like that

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards? I can say it and sign it in ASL but I have to think about it

36. How do you like your coffee? I don’t do caffeine, it’s very bad when I have it

37. Favourite pair of shoes? My flip flops and my vans

38. At what time do you normally go to bed? Anywhere between 10:30 pm-1:30 am lol

39. At what time do you normally get up? Usually by 7 but before quarantine it was 5:30 am

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Sunsets

41. How many blankets are on your bed? Three

42. Describe your kitchen plates? Most of them are white with a blue rim, some are clear glass, and then we have a shit ton of apple plates that my parents got as a wedding gift

43. Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? I don’t drink

44. Do you play cards? I only know how to play Go Fish and I played Uno with my students but they always crush me

45. What colour is your car? It’s this weird purple/gray color that no one can figure out and it looks different at different times of the day and depending on the light

46. Can you change a tire? I theoretically know how to do it but I would call my parents or sister lol

47. What is your favourite state/province? I love Maine and Oklahoma but I will always have a special place in my heart for Massachusetts (even though I don’t want to stay here forever)

48. Favourite job you’ve ever had? My current job as a learning assistant in middle school special ed

49. How did you get your biggest scar? I have a lot of farm related ones and then a bad one on my chin from when my sister climbed on my back and my head slammed into the kitchen floor when I was in kindergarten (giant knee bandaids on your chin is totally a look)

50. What did you do today that made someone else happy? I helped my mom with some cleaning and tracked down some missing assignments for a teacher

That was fun! I’m tagging @5-secondsofcolor, @thelawiswiththerose, @bicherwuerm, @calumsmermaid, @pxrxmoore, and anyone else who wants to do it (but don’t feel pressured and sorry if you’ve already been tagged, I’m so late to this)

#about me #tagged

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lildishsoap · 5 years ago

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50 questions you’ve never been asked before

Thank you sm for tagging me @satans-helper ! 💕

1. what is the colour of your hairbrush?

Light brown

2. a food you never eat?

Blue cheese *gag*

3. are you typically too warm or too cold?

Despite living in a tropical country, cold lol

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Concentrating my hardest on not throwing up while I decluttered my phone to distract me.

5. what is your favourite candy bar?

I’m not that much of a candy bar girl

6. have you ever been to a professional sports event?

Not that I can remember

7. what is the last thing you said out loud?

“Sí” @ my dad asking if I wanted him to lock my door on the way out bc he was sweet enough to get me a pillow that makes it so that I can sleep upright and not be as nauseous

8. what is your favourite ice cream?

Chocolate Coconut Bliss ice cream is pretty damn good

9. what was the last thing you had to drink?

A sip of water

10. do you like your wallet?

Yep, it has a lot if pockets and that is something I appreciate in both wallets and clothing

11. what was the last thing you ate?

Like 7 quinoa puffs (that’s like a tablespoon of cereal lol) to try and calm my stomach down a little

12. did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

I have not gone shopping in a very long time

13. the last sporting event you watched?

Maybe the last summer Olympics? I’m not big on sports as you can tell lol

14. what is your favourite flavour of popcorn?

Regular movie popcorn is good

15. who is the last person you sent a text message to?

An artist friend of mine

16. ever go camping?

Yes! I love camping, despite the fact that I’ve only gone twice and the first time I went camping the tent broke bc of the intensity of the wind and crushed me. It would crash down and crush me every time a gust of wind came. I looked over and one of the people I was camping with had just crawled into their sleeping bag completely, as if it were a cocoon and proceeded to sleep as if nothing was happening. Unfortunately I did not have a sleeping bag, so I could not do the same lol

17. do you take vitamins?

Yes, I take a liquid multivitamin and I try and have these magnesium capsules some nights to help me sleep even better. However, I SUCK at swallowing capsules. If y’all have any tips on how to swallow pills I’d appreciate it :)

18. do you go to church every sunday?

Sometimes (Bc of my parents, not my own beliefs)

19. do you have a tan?

Nope, I don’t tan, I just turn into a tomato.

20. do you prefer chinese food or pizza?

Pizza

21. do you drink your soda with a straw?

I don’t drink soda

22. what colour socks do you usually wear?

Black

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit?

I’m a newbie to driving so I go at a snail’s pace lol

24. what terrifies you?

The thought of looking back on my life and not having achieved anything

25. look to your left, what do you see?

An open door

26. what chore do you hate?

Washing the dishes is the worst. I love vacuuming.

27. what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

A YouTuber I watch was the first to come to mind

28. what’s your favourite soda?

I don’t drink soda. I guess the least terrible soda would be 7up. Sometimes I’d drink it when I was younger to ease stomach discomfort since it’s carbonated.

29. do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru?

I don’t eat fast food.

30. who’s the last person you talked to?

Some time has passed since I started this so as of now, it is my mom.

31. favourite cut of beef?

I don’t eat beef, and even when I did, I was not knowledgeable enough to know the difference between cuts 😅

32. last song you listened to?

My neighbors are playing “Mr. Brightside” rn

33. last book you read?

Last book I finished was The Great Gatsby

34. favourite day of the week?

I don’t think I have one

35. can you say the alphabet backwards?

I legit just go “z....” and it takes me a million years to think of the next letter, so no, lol

36. how do you like your coffee?

I’m more of a tea person

37. favourite pair of shoes?

I love my Docs to death

38. at what time do you normally go to bed?

The latest I like to go to sleep is 10:30, but since quarantine started I’ve been going to sleep a little later. But to be a properly functioning human being I need to get a sufficient amount of sleep and wake up early

39. at what time do you normally get up?

Around 7:00 since quarantine started. But when I went to school I usually woke up at 6:00

40. what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?

I love both too much to pick 🥺

41. how many blankets are on your bed?

42. describe your kitchen plates?

White with red and grey detailing

43. do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?

I’m not legal yet, but I’ve tried little bits of some and I’ve hated most alcoholic beverages but coquito is *chef’s kiss*. It is a little too sweet though.

44. do you play cards?

I’m not sure what type of cards this question is referring to. I like to play spoons and I used to be into Magic: the gathering lol

45. what colour is your car?

A very dark greenish blue that almost looks black. I love her, she sounds like she’s going to fall apart at any given moment and she’s as old as me but I am beyond grateful to have my Chona.

46. can you change a tire?

Yes, actually! Well if I remember how to do it, but we were taught how to change a tire last year at school (for once I was taught something practical at school lol)

47. what is your favourite state/province?

From the ones I’ve visited (I’m not from the US), California

48. favourite job you’ve ever had?

I haven’t had any paid jobs, but I gave fellow high school students art classes as a job experience for one semester. That was nice :)

49. how did you get your biggest scar?

It’s not really big but my most notable scar is because I used to have a small patch of warts on one of my knees and the dude who got rid of it did it incorrectly and butchered up my knee. No matter what, children always point out that scar lol 🙃

50. what did you do today that made someone else happy?

I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m tagging @tymeconsuming @yoooooooooooboiiiiiiiiiiiiii @anothermultifandomblogkk @jimmypagesandbrianmayshair @satingrass-maidensfair

#btw im still getting to know y’all #so if there’s any of you that does not like getting tagged #let me know :)

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damianfitz · 5 years ago

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MEET DAMIAN

1. Full Name?

Damian Elliot Fitzgerald.

2. Preferred Names or Nicknames?

Damian doesn’t have any nicknames and he’s not really the type to go by one.

3. What does their name mean? Does it have any significance in their family? Do they like their name?

Damian means “to tame”, chosen by his father who took inspiration from St. Cosmas and Damian -- the patron saints of pharmacy and medicine. Context: the Fitzgeralds are a hoity toity family full of doctors, at least on his dad’s side. Elliot is his father’s name. Damian very much enjoys his name and likes to think that he’s very special and great things are meant for him because he carries his father’s name. (Unlike his ridiculously perfect older brother who is only named after their grandfathers, ha!)

4. Age and Date of Birth?

He is 18 years old and his date of birth is April 19, 2001.

5. Gender and Pronouns?

Cis Male. He/him.

6. Hometown?

Boston, MA.

7. Does your character fit into any well known archetypes or tropes?

The Chief? The Gentleman? I’m bad at archetypes. He’s also a very stereotypical Aries dude. (Me, pretending I know anything about zodiacs.)

8. How long have they been at Broadripple?

Damian has been enrolled at Broadripple since Freshman year.

9. What led them to apply to Broadripple? Was it a decision made by them or by their parents/guardians or somewhere in between?

Before his father even graduated from Broadripple, he planned that his children would attend the academy. They’re a staple there; it’s tradition and the Fitzgeralds are all about that.

10. Whether they’ve been at Broadripple four days or four years, do they enjoy it? Do they like Broadripple?

Damian absolutely adores Broadripple. He’s been fed stories about house Fenwick and the academy since he was old enough to understand words. Growing up, he fantasized about Broadripple the way some kids fantasize about attending Harvard or Yale. Every school he’s attended prior to Broadripple was just a stepping stone as far as he’s concerned.

11. What house are they in? Do they care very much about their house?

Fenwick. And abso-freakin’-lutely. He treats the house like he’s their dad and often refers to its members as his ‘Fenwick family’. He tends to go out of his way to befriend and develop close bonds with them, whether or not it seems like they’ll get along. Damian fully believes that the best kind of leadership is respect-based, so he’s relentlessly proactive -- always trying to take care of and encourage his Fenwickians with the hope that all of his hard work and toil will pay off in the long run. He 100% intends on winning the Clary Cup and getting his name engraved on the Clary shield before graduation so it’s important to him that his ship is always tight and out of trouble. #fenwickpride

12. Who do they share a dorm with, or are they on their own for the moment? What are they like to live with? Are they clean or messy? Early risers or night owls?

Damian shares a dorm with Connor Roberts, who he decided he quite likes so he’s been making an effort to develop a friendship with him. Damian likes to consider himself a very good roommate -- an ideal roommate even. He’s always mindful that his side of the room is tidy, with everything in its place and that his bed is always made when he’s not sleeping in it. He sleeps early and rises early. Since the start of November, he’s been a little restless for obvious reasons so he’s gotten a bit... nitpicky. If he sees something of Conny’s that’s on the floor or seems out of place and Conny’s not there, he’ll pick it up and put it where he thinks it belongs. He’ll also like, fluff a pillow if he thinks it looks a little flat, smoothens out the sheets if it looks a lil creased. You could leave your books open to random pages all over your bed and leave, and when you come back, they’re all neatly stacked on your desk and bookmarked and Damian’s just like :) I hope you don’t mind. You might have wanted to rest on your bed upon return so I took the liberty of tidying up for you. He’s just a little more intense than usual since Izzy’s disappearance.

13. How is your character’s dorm decorated? Is it bare or bursting at the seems with personality? Any particular sentimental items from home?

It’s very classic and masculine. All of his desk accessories are matching and made of tan leather and accented with brass. His mattress is fitted with fancy white Hotel™ bedding but his duvet is deep red because #fenwickpride. There’s a large monthly planner that adorns the wall that his bed is pushed against so he can review what’s in store for him tomorrow/for the week before he falls asleep. A bi-fold picture frame sits on his desk. One half holds a photo of him, his sister, and their parents. (Where is Joseph? We just don’t know.) The other half holds a photo of the 3 Fitzgerald beagles looking cute as hell bc obvi. Everything clearly has its place except these 3 photos that are stuck to the wall in front of Damian’s desk with tape (gasp!). One of the God Squad being pure having a picnic somewhere, one of Alpha being cute just because, and one of him and Eliza that he took that she doesn’t like because her face is in it and she’s laughing and that obviously isn’t allowed but like it’s Damian’s favorite so sucks 2 suck.

14. What is their favourite subject at school? Do they even have a favourite? Why?

Of all of the classes he’s taking right now, Damian’s favorite is World Culture. He likes learning about other cultures and ways of life; he thinks it’s interesting.

15. Are they involved in any clubs? Which ones?

He’s been a member of the Buddy Club since his second half of his Freshman year. He’s Vice President of the Student Weekend Activities Team. He’s also the secretary for the Student Council.

16. How does your character feel about Broadripple’s Unofficial Clubs? Do they know about them? Are they a part of any of them?

Damian thinks the Broadripple Boys Club is childish and in poor taste. He avoids associating with them if he can help it but he’s civil with them for the most part even if he thinks they need new hobbies other than destroying property, lives, and their livers.

He’s a member of the Unofficial Chastity Club because celibacy is important and you should always leave room for Jesus. 👀 (It's also a very good reminder that he shouldn’t listen to his hormonal teen body no matter how incessant.)

He doesn’t know about Broadripple Unsolved but if he did, he’d think it was a waste of time.

17. Does your character participate in any sports? If so, what made them join the team?

Damian is Swim captain and a member of the Cross Country team.

The Fitzgeralds think it’s important that their children grow up involved in at least one sport because the physical/social/mental benefits are far too great. Swimming just happened to be what Damian naturally gravitated toward and was best at, so it was no-brainer that it’s the team that he wanted to join upon arrival four years ago. (It may have also been about wanting to assert dominance since he’s been swimming competitively and kicking ass since the age of 8.)

As for Cross Country, Damian’s parents have always encouraged a healthy lifestyle. They’re the type of parents that jog in the morning and make the family run a 5K every year. It was familiar. He also just wanted to be able to workout and not worry about becoming a prune.

18. What afternoon activities does your character do? Do they just do the one mandatory one or are they involved in multiple? Why?

Damian is an animal shelter volunteer. He’s a big dog lover and he cares a lot about the city’s furry friends so it was the obvious choice. He’d honestly do more than one if he had the time -- he was a nursing home volunteer during his Junior year and he loved it -- but considering his involvement in literally everything else, he decided to stick with just one.

19. Do they miss their home when they’re at Broadripple? Do they often go home for the weekends or do they only go home during holiday breaks?

Funnily enough, not really. Damian isn’t the type of person to miss places. The person he would miss the most from home is his sister, Eliza, and since she attends Broadripple with him so he doesn’t really ‘miss home’. He does go home every weekend though unless there’s a SWAT outing planned because he misses his dogs and his parents think it’s nice if the family sits and has a meal together at least once a week. Also often, there’s a schmancy event the Fitzgerald kids need to show up at so their parents can boast of their achievements and show off what good parents they are, so :)))

20. Did your character know Izzy De Santis or Maggie Monroe?

Yes. They were all part of the same Bible-loving group of buddies that the Weekend Warriors cleverly dubbed the God Squad. Izzy was also Damian’s best friend and right-hand man, so he’s terribly saddened by the sudden hole the Melleray Senior left in his life. And while he wasn’t as close with Maggie, Damian does feel quite disturbed by her sudden departure as well. He just finds it rather difficult to keep in mind that her disappearance is just as important as Izzy’s when Maggie wasn’t the one who spotted Damian at the gym every other day.

21. Has your character heard of Edith Lynch? Do they know the story?

Yes and yes. It was a topic of conversation at the dinner table once and never again because his parents think it’s that ridiculous that people have made it some ~haunting tale. His parents, having both attended Broadripple, described it as a ‘terrible mishap that people have blown out of proportion’ and that’s exactly how Damian chooses to describe it if he hears anyone speak of it and need his two cents on the matter.

22. How does your character feel about Nighmore? Have they noticed the recently closed shops yet?

To Damian, Nighmore is just your everyday quaint little town. He doesn’t see anything wrong with the fact that they’re all very friendly and always willing to engage in a bit of conversation. He just thinks it’s good manners. He would even go as far as to say the rest of America needs to be a little more like Nighmore.

Yes, he’s noticed they’ve closed down. Though, he’s more bothered by The Kettle being closed than Hill’s Wholefoods. He was a really big fan of their lattes so it’s a bit disappointing to him that he can’t enjoy that product anymore. He quickly got over it though and hasn’t paid much of a visit to Nighmore since then.

23. Have you made any aesthetic Pinterest boards/WeHeartIt collections for this character? Or playlists? Anything you would like to share!

Pinterest / Playlist / Musings / Schedule

#listen i've been meaning to do this for 2342 years but things get away from you when you have one brain cell ok #smack that like button and i'll boop you for plots 🎉#bahq:task1 #damian ; musings #bahq:task

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orbemnews · 4 years ago

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London records zero Covid-19 daily deaths for first time in six months as cases soar elsewhere in Europe Public Health England (PHE) statistics from Sunday showed no fatalities within 28 days of a positive Covid-19 test in the UK capital, while the country as a whole recorded 19 deaths. The last daily record of zero deaths in the capital was on September 14 before a second wave of the coronavirus pandemic struck Britain. The data for Covid-19 deaths is usually lower on Mondays due to a lag in authorities reporting numbers over the weekend but the latest stats will be seen as a positive sign given the region was recording more than 200 daily deaths in January. The news comes as England’s “stay at home” order was lifted Monday and Covid-19 restrictions were eased, allowing two households or groups of up to six people to meet outdoors. The country has been in full national lockdown since January 4, after a new, more transmissible variant of coronavirus was discovered in southeast England. Outdoor sports facilities such as tennis courts, swimming pools and golf courses have been permitted to reopen, and organized outdoor sports with an unlimited number of people have been given the thumbs up. Weddings are no longer limited to exceptional circumstances but are only allowed a maximum of six attendees. UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson urged caution amid growing cases elsewhere in Europe. “I know how much people have missed the camaraderie and competition of organized sport, and how difficult it has been to restrict physical activities — especially for children,” Johnson said. “I know many will welcome the increased social contact, with groups of 6 or two households now also able to meet outdoors.” The UK has the highest Covid-19 death toll in Europe, with more than 126,000 fatalities, according to a Johns Hopkins University (JHU) tally. While Monday marks the most significant easing in England since schools returned on March 8, many businesses remain shuttered, people are still being encouraged to work from home where possible, and travel abroad is still prohibited. The rules are set to be relaxed further in coming weeks provided the UK vaccination program continues unhindered and infection rates don’t surge. More than 30 million people across the UK have now received the first dose of a Covid-19 vaccine and the country’s National Health Service is preparing to administer millions of second doses in the coming weeks, according to the UK Department of Health. The next stage of lockdown easing is due to take place no sooner than April 12 when non-essential retail will be allowed to reopen. At the same time, restaurants and pubs will be able to serve people outdoors. Germany considers new measures Elsewhere in Europe, infection rates are soaring amid a third pandemic wave. On Sunday German Chancellor Angela Merkel suggested additional measures may be needed in the country to halt the ongoing spread of Covid-19. The number of coronavirus cases in Germany now stands at 2,782,273 after an additional 9,872 instances were identified, the German agency for disease control and prevention said Monday. The Robert Koch Institute said the country’s death toll stands at 75,913 — including 43 new cases in the last 24 hours. Meanwhile the seven-day incidence rate now stands at 134.4 per 100,000 inhabitants. In a rare interview with public broadcaster ARD on Sunday night, Merkel stood by her apology over proposing and then scrapping Easter restrictions, admitting mistakes had been made. Last week, the longtime leader walked back on her plan to impose a new hard five-day lockdown over Easter. Although there are restrictions on social contact and gatherings, businesses will now only be closed as usual on the public holidays of Good Friday, Easter Sunday and Easter Monday. As Covid-19 cases rise across Germany, however, Merkel said that in addition to testing, further measures were being considered and could be introduced soon. “For me, contact restrictions, restrictions to go out, are very important means to stop the exponential growth of the virus. Plus to increase testing in schools twice a week and the industry, where I am not yet content with the current enthusiasm, where I have said clearly that we then need to legislate, and soon,” Merkel said. Merkel deflected a question over whether she’d send Germany into another hard lockdown, instead suggesting that more people needed to work from home and that more testing for those going into work was needed. She added: “We have to ensure that schools can only open if they can test twice a week, although even twice is not a lot.” More than 75,000 people have died in Germany from Covid-19, according to JHU data. Doctors sound alarm in Paris France is now entering a decisive week, with the country under pressure from a rising number of patients in intensive care. Doctors warned Sunday that hospitals in Paris face being overwhelmed and are preparing to triage patients in the next two weeks as a result of the critical conditions. In an op-ed, published in the Journal du Dimanche newspaper, 41 intensive care (ICU) and emergency doctors wrote that in the next two weeks “we are almost certain about the number of ICU beds that will be needed and we already know that our capacities will be exceeded at the end of this period.” The doctors pointed out a “glaring mismatch between needs and available resources” in what they call a “disaster medicine” situation. “We will be forced to select which patients get access to the ICUs and which do not in order to save as many lives as possible. This triage will involve all patients, Covid and non-Covid, especially regarding access to critical care for adult patients,” they wrote. The Parisian doctors wrote in their op-ed they had “never experienced such a situation, even during the worst terrorist attacks in recent years,” referring to the November 2015 terror attacks in Paris that killed 130 people and wounded 494. There were 1,429 patients in ICU in the Ile-de-France region (where Paris is located) as of Saturday night, which accounts for more than 124% of the number of ICU beds in the region, according to data published by the French health authority, Santé Publique France. The pandemic has killed more than 94,000 people in France, according to JHU. The French coronavirus strategy led by President Emmanuel Macron, who is up for re-election next year, has so far resisted a third nationwide lockdown — against the advice of his Scientific Council — because of the impact it would have on mental health and the economy, Macron has said. Instead, the government has favored a 7 p.m. curfew, as well as regional “reinforced health restrictions,” in place in 19 areas. While schools remain open in these vicinities, non-essential stores have closed and the movement of people has been limited to a 10-kilometer (six-mile) radius unless they have compelling business or health reasons to travel further. Medical workers have urged the French government in recent weeks to impose stronger national restrictions, in light of the more contagious B.1.1.7 coronavirus variant, which was first identified in the UK and is now dominant in France. At the end of a tense EU summit on Thursday night, the French president denied any failure in his decision not to implement a lockdown at the end of January. “We didn’t have the explosion of cases that every model predicted,” he said in a press conference. “There won’t be a mea culpa from me. I don’t have remorse and won’t acknowledge failure,” Macron added. A defense council is expected to decide on a possible tightening of measures on Wednesday. Source link Orbem News #cases #Covid19 #daily #deaths #Europe #LONDON #months #records #soar #Time

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br0ther-theloops · 8 years ago

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a “should we know us a little better” tag 🌸

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people (i’m not going to tag twenty people are you insane)

Tagged by @hobisol thank you so much for tagging me!! 💕 💕

THE LAST:

1. Drink: water because we have nothing else in my apartment...

2. Phone call: UMMMMM my mom i think???

3. Text message: a group chat between @bangtanboysboo, @lol-hobi, @vrlskaserket, @bubblegumlookinass, and myself and it’s just me talking to myself rn UPDATE: we’re talking about teens making out in a line at cedar point lmao

4. Song you listened to: blackpink’s NEW SONG BECAUSE I FFHUEIWKFHWEukhjgwK

5. Time you cried: i answered this in an ask yesterday but i remember now that the last time i cried was like monday and it was because i was looking up pictures of corgi pups

6. Dated someone twice: nope~

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: oh yeah, for sure, it’s what i would like to call, my first year of college 😬😬😬

8. Been cheated on: lmao yeah

9. Lost someone special: yep

10. Been depressed: 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yeah the first and only real time was the saturday right before finals and my friends tucked me in and let me sleep on the bathroom floor 👌👌

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: mint green/tiffany blue, pale pink, and either burnt orange or dark magenta

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes yes yes~~~ i made some of my best friends this past year ❤️💞💘💝💖💜

16. Fallen out of love: oh yeah

17. Laughed until you cried: yeah probably

18. Found out someone was talking about you: ....have i really not?? well damn, either people really like me or im just great at being completely oblivious

19. Met someone who changed you: definitely!

20. Found out who your friends are: i mean, everyone’s my friend. i get the context and meaning of this question, but it’s okay to have friends who you’re not super close with that’s fine.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: i mean yeah

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i don’t give out my facebook to people i don’t know irl because it’s used for school and family.

23. Do you have any pets: i don’t have any pets and it makes me so sad ☹️

24. Do you want to change your name: it has taken me a really long time to like my name, so no

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i got lunch with my family and my boyfriend at the time and then i had practice and did homework because my last birthday was on a sunday

26. What time did you wake up: around 10 but i didn’t get out of bed until almost 11 so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: what was i doing uhhhhh reading i think

28. Name something you can’t wait for: my life to finally seem put together lmao

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: my biological mom; it’s been almost a year in a half i believe? and then i saw my step mom a couple weekends ago lol

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i want people to be loved for who they are and how they choose to present themselves and not be afraid of being harmed because of that. on a more personal level, i want to be better at saving money lol ooo or to love myself more

31. What are you listening right now: the ac unit in my wall. i rarely have music on as background noise when i’m writing or typing something up

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeah when i was like seventeen or smth

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: uhhhhhhh the fact that it’s so humid in my apartment and the one ac unit is in the wall in my kitchen, which is closed in so the only place getting cooler in my apartment is the kitchen

34. Most visited Website: tumblr lmao rip

35. Mole/s: i have only one mole and it’s on my thigh kind of near my butt! it’s in the shape of an upside down heart!

36. Mark/s: listen, i have a lot of scars because i’m a delicate baby that accidentally hurts themself a lot, but as of what i know i have right off the top of my head: three scars on my forehead, one on my right knee, one of my left shin, one on my right thumb that looks like a crescent moon, two on my left arm which were the result of my clothing hating me, and i think that’s it? oh! and i have a bruise on my side that i’ve had since i ran into a dresser when i was younger.

37. Childhood dream: i wanted to be a singer!🎤

38. Hair color: right now, a brownish, reddish, dirty blonde, but naturally, dark red!

39. Long or short hair: long. it’s down to my nipples. i haven’t had hair this long since high school.

40. Do you have a crush on someone: not really anymore i don’t think ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

41. What do you like about yourself: i like...my eyes and my ability to not take myself seriously all the time. i also like that i usually see and understand both sides of a situation!

42. Piercings: three on my nose

43. Bloodtype: O

44. Nickname: most people just call me ashley, but sometimes people refer to me as ash (but like, please ask me first because i do like being called ashley and being called ash without permission makes me super uncomfortable. also ashley is p gender neutral!). my mom calls me ash ketchum, and my family calls me ashley lynn.

45. Relationship status: 😬 no one likes me so lol

46. Zodiac: libra and i’m three days younger than jimin!

47. Pronouns: they/them/she/her. i don’t mind either!

48. Favorite TV Show: UMMMM i don’t really watch tv but i like steven universe and gravity falls and chopped and anything on the food network tbhhhhhh also stuff like hoarders and my strange addiction hold my attention like no one’s business

49. Tattoos: i have one!

50. Right or left hand: right handed

51. Surgery: ummm i had two teeth removed and a root canal so do those count? i also had to get stitches twice for cut because i was young and an idiot

52. Piercings: two on my left nostril, and one on my right

53. Sports: the only sports i have ever done is track and that was for like two years. i dance for fun and perform dance covers with my club!

55. Vacation: i haven’t been on an actual vacation since i was sixteen.

56. Pair of trainers: like the shoes? um, i have one pair of adidas.

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: i was just chewing some gum, but hard boiled eggs?

58. Drinking: water

59. I’m about to: probably make dinner or write, who knows.

61. Waiting for: my ask-kimdaily stuff to come in the mail ;;;;

62. Want: pizza, but a lot of things

63. Get married: idk if i really want to get married, i just want to live with a partner for a while and be domestic and shit because that stuff 👌👌👌

64. Career: a writer or smth who knows

WHICH IS BETTER?:

65. Hugs or kisses: both?

66. Lips or eyes: i really like looking into people’s eyes, but i also have a slight eye phobia so

67. Shorter or taller: both? it’s not that hard to be taller than me, though

68. Older or younger: a majority of my friends are younger than me, but both is fine

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: both??

71. Sensitive or loud: you can be both tho i’m so confused

72. Hook up or relationship: i mean both have their ups and downs

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: what is this even asking fam

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: surprisingly, no

75. Drank hard liquor: i’m an actual adult and a college student not to make generalizations but like yeah.

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i lose my glasses every day of my life hekwjfhwilukgjr

77. Turned someone down: yeah a few times

78. Sex in the first date: yes

79. Broken someones heart: yeahhhhh....

80. Had your heart broken: lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

81. Been arrested: nope but i have been frisked by a cop when i was 13 because someone thought i stole smth and i cried

82. Cried when someone died: yep

83. Fallen for a friend: lmaoooooooooooooo rip me

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: is this some naruto stuff or what

85. Miracles: sure

86. Love at first sight: i mean, it was love at first sight when i saw min yoonji so i guess you could say so

87. Santa Claus: not any more. i don’t think i was ever told he wasn’t real, but i just had a realize and was okay with it

88. Kiss in the first date: fam i’ve slept with someone of the first date i think we know what i think--you should only do something, like kiss someone, or even have sex with someone, when you are completely comfortable with the situation and are able to give full consent and are okay with it.

89. Angels: i think so? i’m not sure lmao

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: names lmao bethany, becca, erin, julia

91. Eyecolor: hazel/green blue/sometimes they look gray

92. Favorite movie: this is constantly changing but spirited away, moana, phantom of the opera, ooo zootopia, harry potter and the chamber of secrets, and more!

do not feel obligated to do this, this took a long time even with minimal distractions but i tag: @minminyoongi @ahoneyyboy @nochucametru @otpvmin @giveemhelllex @1995winemom @blushguk @chocoulat @lqhani

#rip me #personal #very very personal #probably more about me than you all ever wanted to know.....#i'm tired now i want to talk a nap #jiaerkjhgkaeuhg #mutuals

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these---days · 8 years ago

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Procrastination

1. Favourite colour --> Green.. but sometimes purple, or Teal... idk

2. Number of people you’ve slept with --> 2 3. Cake or ice cream? I don’t care for dessert but Cake over Ice Cream 4. If you were a superhero what would your power be? Seeing the future so I can 1) win the lottery to give money to all of the people and 2) see future regrets and change them as necessary 5. Ever been in a fist fight? Yup... or well, it was one sided as the person was being a drunk douche. I’m pretty patient and not easily angered but was the last straw when they were crap to an ex... so i ran across the room and their face met my fist as we went through a window ;). 6. Do you live in the country or the city? City 7. Biggest kink? I really can not think of anything... it’s been a while since I even gave a shit... refer to my #2 response lol 8. Favourite video-game? Assassin’s Creed 2....Classic maybe Crash Bandicoot or Zelda: A Link to The Past (honourable mentions - Heavy Rain bcuz it was the first game of it’s kind, NHL 200 something cuz I played it for a straight week and Parappa the Rapper for the memories I had while playing it) 9. Words you live by? I’m not religious but, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference” 10. Best book you’ve ever read? Okay well this changes constantly there’s been a lot. Great Gatsby and Lord of the Flies were my first... Stone Butch Blues made me tear up after 20 pages... The Alchemist... The Hours... Tom Robbins though hands down has the best books. If you can’t tell I have a hard time with decisions or ONE STRAIGHT ANSWER (no pun intended) 11. Favourite film? .... REALLY... same as above, too many. The Hours, Girl, Interrupted, Eternal Sunshine, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Requiem for a Dream.... and honorable mention is Rocky Horror because I wouldn’t call it my fav but I do love it 12. Horror or romance? neither 13. Biggest fear? I’m usually more afraid of the anticipation of a thing than the actual THING... Otherwise no real “fears” in particular, I just spoke easily and get nervous a lot 14. Best memory? I have no idea. Maybe my 19th birthday weekend. First time people actually worked hard at surprising me, I felt really cared about and important to people outside of my family AND the girl I liked (but swore I wouldn’t tell bcuz I couldn’t lose anymore friends based on being a lesbian) kissed me. So that was a high. 15. Worst memory? There have been a lot... but to be honest everything becomes pretty neutral or numb (for best or worst memories) 16. Where are you from? Toronto, Canada 17. Ever done anal? no thankssss 18. Would you prefer to be Mary Berry’s grandchild or Paul Hollywood’s bitch? I would like to “Berry” “Hollywood” 19. Favourite outfit? Ugh I do not have one right now... maybe my underwear and a baseball shirt since that is usually my go to bed/not going out outfit ;) 20. Snapchat or Instagram? i dont care 21. If you could freeze time what would you do? nothing. I’m fucking frozen. 22. Best LUSH product in your opinion? Who knows, a bath bomb? I don’t go here 23. Should people wear red shirts or brown pants in your presence? nothing is the correct answer .. my life is so sad that I am still answering these 24. Favourite television character? Willow Rosenberg 25. Do you have a nemesis? Time, money, the patriarchy, capitalism, heterosexism... must I go on? 26. Are you a hard-worker? When other people are depending on me for sure. If it’s only for myself... not so much I think. But for a job, ya I’ll work harder than probably necessary to my disadvantage typically. 27. What’s the best holiday you’ve ever been on? Backpacking Australia 2012 with my sis 28. What’s your dream? I have none 29. Where do you see your life ending up? well... it wasn’t here that’s for sure 30. Describe your last sexual encounter. LOL I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER IT ITS BEEN THAT LONG 31. Cake by the ocean or sex on the beach? Cake by the Ocean... of course? 32. Ever done drugs? Obviously... Tylenol is a fucking drug you know ;) 33. Harry Potter or Lord Of The Rings? LOTR 34. Are you a jock or a nerd? lol... NERD... my best job in sports usually consisted of getting hit for the sake of the team 35. On a scale of 8 to 34.7, how gay are you? I am a strong 5.8 on the Kinsey Scale 36. Do you live for Tumblr discourse or hate it? meh 37. Favourite trashy television show? ugh sadly I will watch are you the one? or Survivor, Big Brother, MTV’s the Challenge 38. Last time you watched porn? lol i dont even know... also not even really my thing tbh 39. Do you have a recurring sexual fantasy? nope 40. Weirdest dream you ever had? i dont even know 41. Ever had mental health issues? yup 42. What’s the answer to the question you wish someone would ask you? no way, really? you’re joking! (lol) 43. Do you wish people paid more attention to you? omg no 44. Do you have anyone who you’d happily slap right across their chops? we live in a world with Trump in it... also about 2649473647823648232 political and capitalist assholes 45. Dog person or cat person? I can be both but DOGSSSSSS ... i became allergic to cats but I still end up all over them and suffer the consequences :’(

46. Sneakers or heels? LOL sneakers. No one needs to witness me in heels 47. Favourite cocktail? GT 48. Day or night? I’m a night person but I WISH I was a day person 49. Pokémon or Digimon? -mon 50. How big is your dick? YUGE 51. Favourite musical? Ugh I think I had a new one but oh well, Phantom of the Opera was my old one... Mamma Mia only because it’s all ABBA 52. Favourite song? Exit to a Movie by Radiohead but the version Westworld played during season 1. I love SO many though. (I will always love Cat Power and Regina Spektor though) 53. Are you secretly a goblin/alien/android? I am a Gob-lien-droid 54. Why are you like this? I’m sure it’s a mix genes, timing, contextual influence of the social determinants of health, my individual intersections and situational freedoms... along with my “choose my own adventure” decisions or non-decisions in life ;). THAT A COMPLETE ENOUGH FUCKING ANSWER FOR YA 55. What’s your guilty pleasure? sleep. Also sadly the movie Imagine you and me... omg #whatasap 56. What would you say if I said ‘I love you’? weird 57. What’s the story behind your URL? It’s from the movie Amelie 58. Tell me something that worries you. everything pretty much all the time... I would really love some regular massages. Or to remember the time when for a while I had no worries, had no tension and slept like a fucking BABY 59. What have you been worrying about today? Falling (literally), the work I have to get done, Money, School, Life after school, future work, decisions about where to live and what work options I’ll have, getting a dog, If I’ll have to date again to help make those decisions lol... Also accidentally became a klepto and found something in my luggage from a trip that I feel bad for taking... I don’t even know how or why it happened lol 60. I’m only sending you these questions because I have a crush on you and I’m too tragic to actually just say it. TOO BAD FOR YOUUUUU SUCKAAA 61. Hot dogs or burgers? depends 62. Nintendo or the other trash-consoles? Going outside 63. Which fandom ruined a show that you used to like? none. I dont know... fandoms do not define me! 64. What do you wish you could tell your best friend? I’ve got nothing 65. Tell us a deep dark secret. I have a secret... it’s is deep.... but it is also dark.... 66. Are you curious about having a man in leather spank your botty 'til it’s all red? I think I’m good but have fun with that 67. Favourite Tumblr couple? How do you even know tumblr couples?! 68. Do you have any dietary quirks? Nope.. maybe I’m getting lactose sensitive sometimes? Mostly I think it’s stress though 69. Do you want to have someone pleasure your genitals orally while you do the same to theirs? Not right no thanks I’m busyyyyy 70. How old are you? 31 last friday... 71. Which Buzzfeed listicle sums up your existence? WHAT IS A LISTICLE..also I ain’t got time for thattt 72. Do you have any pets? not anymore :’(... I got allergic to them #STORYOFMYLIFE 73. What colour underwear are you wearing? The are green and pink. Dark green with like jungle like leaves and flamingos <3. (American Eagle short briefs idk what they are called..) 74. Boxers or briefs? read #73 75. Fuck me, Ray Bradbury? You seem unsure of yourself there... or were you just giving an angry rant at yourself and then asking if Ray Bradbury was around... hmmm 76. Which television show do you want to last forever? Buffy but it isn’t on TV anymore and instead in Comic form 77. In a zombie apocalypse how long would you last? Instantly dead for sure... I’d just drop a huge rock on my head and be done with it lol 78. Do you have good internet connection or do you want to punch your router every ten minutes? ALSO WANT TO PUNCH EVERYTHING WITH MY INTERNET CONNECTION 79. Would you find it somewhat saucy if I sent bawdy nudes in your direction? Not particularly... unless you were serious about them and then I’d use like paint and make them hilarious haha omg ya that’d be great 80. Which country has the best flag? I was horrible about georgraphy lol.... I would throw knowing flags into that category 81. Do you consider yourself *iconic*? I consider myself *ironic* ... ew wait not in a hipster way... just wanted to throw out Alanis since that’s what came to mind here 82. Most overrated food? Bacon 83. Most overrated film? So many 84. Most overrated television show? Friends 85. Most overrated type of cheese? Babybel 86. Which brand would you never shop at? There’s a few ethical ones but also gotta check privilege with whether you can afford to skip some stores/brands 87. Wisdom, courage, or power? Wisdom 88. Would you prefer to travel in time and stay in the same spot, or travel in space with time elapsing as normal? Space would give me anxiety... but staying in the same spot would give me anxiety. CONUNDRUM 89. What’s the best birthday present you ever got? A girlfriend...For more on that check the “best memory” response I guess... although brithday present makes it sound like a person was an object/commodity that could be claimed and that’s not what I mean... trying to be funny just got serious RIGHT QUICK 90. What present do you wish someone would give you? I have no real wants.. just time with people. Or one day for all my friends to be together and nobody disliked anyone and could have a good time and get along for me... actually that would be the best present in the world but will never happen so alas, there is no reason for birthday parties anymore 91. Do you have an ex? Why did you break up? Yes. We had expired on our 9 lives. 91. Why does 91 appear on this list twice now? Because you typed it twice 92. Spare a thought for the humble creator of this list, it’s difficult to think of this many questions. Make the list shorter 93. Do you prefer anons or non-anons? onions 94. Who do you wish you could have sex with more than any other? more than any other...... ??? 95. What is your spirit animal? A KOALA, the sleep for like 22-23 hours of the day 96. Do you have one word that you really love the sound of? Tangent. Conundrum... idk 97. Do you still have any of your stuffed toys from when you were a kid?yup 98. What makes you super nostalgic? Random things, nothing particular 99. Give me an answer to a random one of these questions. (But don’t make it a shit answer like 'yes’. Don’t be an asshole.) asshole 100. What’s your favourite cocktail? SUP REPEAT 101. Sonic screwdriver or Ron’s shit broken wand from the second Potter book? OOGA BOOGA MAN FROM CRASH BANDICOOT lol 102. Laptop or PC? laptop 103. What’s the sexiest accent in your opinion? meh 104. Would you let Donald Trump tickle your nipples for an hour for £6,000,000? FUCK DONALD TRUMP ... i can’t even be funny with this one I just start fuming at his mention 105. You should check out a great little British website called Pretty52. This should’ve been for question 52..... so nope. 106. If you could dye your hair any colour, what colour would you change to? I’m good. 107. What would you change about your body if you could? I’d work out and eat healthy... idk.... bodies are bodies and they are the way the are for whatever reason to each their own. I’m for people changing their bodies and for not doing so at all. For me I only change stuff if I physically get pained otherwise it’s all aesthetics which is trivial. 108. Do you prefer to be hot or cold? hot 109. What’s your favourite way to orgasm? having one I guess lol? 110. Are you a mermaid or a unicorn? unicorn (I can’t swim so) 111. What’s the name of your favourite pet when you were a kid?I had none. So deprived. 112. What was your favourite class at school? History maybe? 113. Are you superstitious? kind of but not seriously 114. What do you think happens when we die? When I get there I’ll let you know 115. Pie or pi? PI!!! BTW, getting a McFlurry on Pi day is hilarious because the total for one in Canada with taxes is 3.14!!!! #nerdalert 116. Your followers a question. Are you questioning my followers??? 117. Lick my genitalia. I’m good thanks 118. What’s your favourite number? 8 119. Do you ever look up at the stars and feel small? nope 120. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?it’s.. fine 121. Tell me about a quirky personality trait. I have no idea 122. What was your favourite story when you were younger? My mom used to tell Caterpillar bedtime stories... the stories would start with the caterpillar having a certain amount of legs and this caterpillar would be playing some kind of game/sport against my family of 4 and in each sport my mom would make up how the caterpillar lost it’s legs. The story was over when they lost all their legs and we won lol. 123. Are you old before your time or young at heart? Ugh I WAS old before my time as a child... after 25 I’ve been trying to peter pan through life because now we’re stuck being old and I want a chance at childhood again haha 124. Why do you do the things you do? Please. Tell me. It’s a mix of contextual factors as I’ve answered for another question lol 125. I hope you enjoyed these questions. they actually were not that great... I am underwhelmed 126. Which Tumblr blog would you recommend to all your fans? one that upgrades them to a good old airconditioner

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