#for reference to potentially use in analyses later

[nahoney22]

🌺 Orchids Tech 🌺

Medical Flora

X Female Reader

word count: 1.2k

🌸 💐 Flower Fic Event 💐 🌸

My second fic for the clone flower event 🌸 read my Commander Fox one here 🌺 Check the tag #cloneflowerficevent to see more! 💐

warnings: None, fluff, mutual pining, friends to lovers 🌸💜

Other writers for this event include (will add links to each ficlet once writer has posted):

🌸 Myself - Tech | Fox

🌸 @jedi-hawkins - Kix | Echo | Crosshair

🌸 @moonstrider9904 - Howzer

🌸 @photogirl894 - Hunter | Wrecker | Fives

🌸 @eyecandyeoz - Waxer

🌸 @arctrooper69 🎂- Tup | Rex | Gregor

🌸 @l-lend - Wolffe

🌸 @dragonrider9905 - Hardcase

🌸 @totallyunidentified - 99 | Cody

“I appreciate you coming with me, by the way, Tech. Herbalism isn’t for everyone.” You chuckle as you bend down to inspect some nearby plants, using a scanner to check their properties.

After some members of your group had fallen ill, you asked Tech, quite reluctantly, to accompany you in finding a remedy. With credits scarce, medicine wasn't readily available to any of you.

“I do believe our best choice is to go to Felucia and seek out some Nysillin,” he says, looking around as he follows you. “But you are welcome.”

“We don’t have the time to go all the way to Felucia,” you sigh. While you partly agreed with him, it would take at least three rotations to get there from your current location, and none of you knew if the illness would spread or worsen in the meantime.

You stand up, and the two of you continue walking through the dense foliage, the air humid and slightly sticky. “If you see any flowers, point them out to me.”

Tech adjusts his goggles, scanning the area meticulously. “Understood. Though I must point out that identifying medicinal plants without a proper botanical reference could be inefficient.”

“I know, but we have to try something,” you reply, keeping an eye out for any potential remedies.

Your reluctance to Tech coming with you was simply from a place of feeling, precisely, your feelings for him. He made you both nervous and giddy but you knew nothing would ever come from it. So, instead you just relished in the time alone with him.

A few minutes later, Tech halts, his attention fixed on a cluster of vibrant orchids nestled among the greenery. “There,” he points, “those orchids might have some medicinal properties.”

You walk over to the orchids, marveling at their beauty. “Good eye, Tech. These could be promising.” You carefully gather a few specimens, making sure not to damage the stems and petals. Tech goes ahead and takes your scanner, beginning to analyse their chemical composition.

You crouch down beside him, looking at the scanner, curiosity piqued. “Can you tell me anything about them?”

“It states here that orchids have been known to possess a variety of medicinal compounds. With any luck, these might help mitigate the symptoms the others are experiencing,” he explains. Truthfully, some of his words go in one ear and out the other because you can't help but quietly admire him.

He turns his gaze to you, his eyes curious. “Do you believe these orchids will suffice?”

You snap out of your reverie, clearing your throat and looking down at the pile of scattered petals. “O-Oh, of course,” you say swiftly, helping Tech gather some into his backpack carefully.

You look back at the orchids, the soft mix of pink and purple flowers filling your senses. “These are so beautiful. Seems a shame to pick them.”

Tech looks at the flower and thinks for a moment. “I suppose they are nice on the eyes, yes.”

The next few moments feel like a dream as you watch Tech pluck a small strand from the bush. Your skin grows warm as he takes a hold of your chin with his thumb and index finger, turning your head towards him. Breath catching in your throat, you watch as he brushes your hair behind your ear and tucks an orchid into it. “I hope this will suffice,” he says softly.

You blink at him, taken aback. Where had that come from? Had he hit his head? Your silence lingers, and Tech suddenly realises his gesture was nothing short of flirtatious. “We,” his voice squeaks adorably, and he quickly clears his throat, “we should head back to the ship.”

You nod, still processing what just happened. “Yes, of course.”

As you walk back to the ship, the orchid in your hair has you recalling back to Tech did. His gentle words, his lingering touch on your skin… it was lovely. Tech walks beside you this time rather than behind, his usual composed demeanor slightly rattled, and you can’t help but smile at the thought of the brilliant, logical man having a tender, spontaneous side. Just for you.

You steal a glance at Tech, and your eyes lock. He looks slightly flustered, the tips of his ears turning a deep shade of red. As the Marauder comes into sight, you decide to take a gamble and stop. “Tech?”

He stops too, looking at you with curiosity. “Yes?”

“Thank you for coming with me. I know I already said that before, but I really appreciate your help.” Your voice is soft, and your fingers fidget nervously behind your back. “And for the flower in my hair… it was sweet of you.”

Tech smiles, taking a step closer. “You asked for my help, and I gave it. There is nothing to thank me for,” he says. His eyes flicker to the orchid in your hair and then back to you. “I apologize if this is forward, but I have always secretly favoured orchids. Both for their medicinal properties and, as you said before, they are beautiful and…” He trails off, his fingers flexing as he takes a deep breath, “and so are you.”

Your heart feels like it might burst from your chest, and your eyes glisten with unshed tears at his sweet words. Does this mean he likes you back? The possibility makes your heart race. But it could just be Tech being straightforward, yet you had never seen or heard him act this way with anyone else.

“Really?” you ask, the question sounding silly instead of just thanking him.

“Yes.”

You realize that you both have stepped closer to each other, your chests almost touching as he gazes down at you with gentle eyes. His gaze flickers from your eyes to your lips, but he’s nervous, and truthfully, so are you. Tech isn’t easy to read sometimes, making it hard to decide if he wants to kiss you or not.

You can feel his ragged breath on your face, his posture straight and stiff. So, you take the lead, standing on your toes and pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. You let it linger, smirking as you feel him take a sharp inhale of breath.

When you pull back, you gauge his reaction. He’s bewildered and quite in awe. Eventually, he breaks out into a grin, and reading the situation correctly, he places a hand on your cheek and slowly leans in. His nose brushes against yours, and his lips are about to meet yours until…

“Are you two back?” A voice calls from the ship, and you both jolt back, alarmed. You look to see Wrecker coming into view, rubbing his tired eyes. “Any luck?”

A wave of relief washes over you both, thankful that the intimate moment wasn’t fully interrupted, but both a little disappointed it didn’t happen. Tech gives you an apologetic look before following Wrecker, who retreats back inside.

That afternoon, you make a remedy with the orchids and hand cups to each of the batch, making sure they drink it all and monitoring their progress through the rest of the day. By the fourth hour, they are looking better than before, and you feel immense relief.

You and Tech don’t have time to speak about what happened that day, but when he is asleep in his bunk, you notice you still have some leftover petals. So, with a small thought, you retrieve his helmet and begin placing the flowers along the edges of the visor, scattering them along the top.

The next morning, your heart swells and you realise you’re completely smitten with him as you see Tech wearing his helmet, the cute still flowers adorning it. He doesn’t seem to mind them at all.

Tags: @littlefeatherr @Kaitou2417 @eyecandyeoz @Jesseeka

@theroguesully @ladykatakuri @padawancat97 @staycalmandhugaclone

@ko-neko-san @echos-girlfriend @fiveshelmet @dangraccoon @plushymiku-blog

@pb-jellybeans @nunanuggets @sleepycreativewriter @erellenora

@ezras-left-thumb @the-rain-on-kamino @lamiliani

@tech-aficionado @grizabellasolo @therealnekomari @tech-depression-inventory @brynhildrmimi

@greaser-wolf @tinyreadersmur r @kaminocasey @marvel-starwars-nerd @ladytano420

@ladyzirkonia @thesith @raevulsix @cw80831 @knightprincess @crosshairlovebot @imalovernotahater r @sithstrings @whore4rex @imperialclaw801 @temple-elder @mysticalgalaxysalad @yunggoblin @the-bad-batch-baroness @lulalovez @thiswitchloves9904

[doudouneverte]

2026

a/n: first fic from his own universe...

*not my GIF*

Pairing: Glódís Viggósdóttir x Fem!reader

Summary: the day after Glódís' contract extension

Type: Fluff

Warning: use of google translate for icelandic words

word count: 1840

note: bold = swedish

------

It was a warm day—a very good day. Yesterday was even a better day for Bayern fans when Glódís' contract extension was announced. And right now, the team was arriving at the campus for training with a little surprise.

"Oh, look at that!" Georgia's voice got the attention of everyone. When the team looked at where the English referred, they saw a huge bouquet.

The bouquet was a combination of blue and red flowers arranged so the red flowers in the centre wrote '2026' and the blues one around made the whole thing look like the Icelandic flag. And the more cute thing was that the 'little' gift was on Glódís' cubby, making her blush intensely.

"Wow, that's a big one." Lea chuckled. "How did they even get it there? I would be scared to break it." There was a little silence in the room while the girls admired it until they heard the click of a snap shot.Everyone looked where the sound came from to see a very proud Islanlic captain. 

"You have to take a picture with it." Linda proposed, and everyone immediately agreed. The captain didn't wait a second until she took it and posed with the wave of her teammates' phones.

The red-headed woman analysed the bouquet until she noticed a little card with it.

"Well, if I'm guaranteed to get something like that for an extension, give me a pen right now." Jovan said, making the whole team laugh.

During the whole training, the captain didn't seem to be able to suppress her smile, which made all the team tease her, but she couldn't care less. It was like that until Magda came to ask her something about it. Pernille was watching them a little curious, but from her girlfriend's behaviour, she could say that Magda was shy to tell what she was saying to her captain.

It was the last day before their next match, so the Danish brusehd it off and decided to focus on her training, but she made a mental note to ask about that later. At the end of the training, the girls decided to spend some time together, which everyone agreed with except the Swedish defender, who informed them that she had something important to do.

It was in the middle of the afternoon, and you were in the shop, waiting for any potential customers while you were on your phone. On Instagram, more precisely. You were watching some random posts until someone sent you a direct message.

You smiled at your phone, getting enough time to reply with a quick 'you're welcome' until someone entered the shop.

(has sent you a picture)

Glódís: Thank you 💙❤

It was a very fascinated and a little confused Magda who was facing you, getting you immediately confused and fascinated as well.

"Hi, how can I help you?" You asked, making the defender more confused.

"You speak Swedish?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'm from Malmo, and honestly, it's not every day that I get the visit of a Swedish superstar."

"I'm not a superstar."

"You're the captain of the national team, so for me, you're a superstar." You asserted your point, making her finally accept it. "So, how can I help you?"

"Uh, yeah. I want to buy something for my girlfriend, and a teamma- a friend recommended this place to me, so I came to check if you had something that could… I don't know; that can please my girlfriend."

It took you a few seconds to process everything and think about it. "Okay, you're in the right place for that. Do you have any idea, or can we think about it together?"

"Actually, yeah, just a moment…" She pulled out her phone and opened Instagram. "Something like that. But of course not as big as it."

You giggled a little looking at the picture of your wife smiling widely with your gift in her hands.

"Yeah, I think I can do something like that; excuse me a moment." You quit the counter to wander in the shop, picking some flowers, and then came back. "We can make it look like the Danish flag, or we can try arranging them to look like a white heart on a red background."

"The heart one!" Magda replied immediately, making you chuckle. "Sorry," she mumbled, making you even more chuckled.

"Don't worry, it's nothing. I'm used to this type of reaction with my wife."

"Oh, you're married?"

"Yess. 4 years now."

"Wow."

"Yeah, wow. But I can't be more happy with her; she's always so sweet with me. I mean, she made me leave Sweden, so that's the least she can do."

While you were finishing your 'piece of art', as your wife likes to call all your creations, you and Magda used that time to know more about each other. And after that, you decided to give it to her for free with a promise to let her pay for her next purchase.

Two hours later, you were cleaning up after your last client when you were interrupted by someone entering the shop. You looked at the entry to see your big bouquet covering the Icelandic captain's face.

"Hi, ástin mín (my love)." She greeted you happily.

"Why don't you let it at home, baby?" You giggled when you saw her trying to give you a hug without crushing the flowers.

"I know I should, but after the training, the girls wanted to spend some time together, and as a captain, I couldn't refuse that. And after that, I came here." She said proudly.

You gave her a kiss and took the flowers from her hands, making her pout a little.

"Hey, it's mine," she complained, making you laugh.

"I know, but I'll just put them in the water so you don't have to carry them all the time," you reassured her. When you finally dispose of the flowers in a pretty vase (chosen by Glódís), you finally let the defender rest in your arms on a couch behind the counter.

It was a habit of her to come here after the training just to spend some time with you, even if you assured her that she would eventually see you after you closed the shop.

"How many hours have we left before you close?" She asked.

"Two hours," you replied, and your wife hummed in reply, letting you know that she would probably fall asleep during this time.

You both stayed like that for almost fifteen minutes until the front opened again. You were trying to get out of Glódís' arms before you saw two familiar figures looking at you from the other side of the counter.

"Oh, look at that; she's so cute." Karólína said.

"She looks like an orange cat." Emilie added making you and the younger Icelandic player laugh. "What, isn't she?"

"She definitely looks like a cat." You agreed with her after a quick look at your wife. "But what are you doing here?"

"We have to play against Bayern tomorrow, so here we are. We just finished the training, and we have a little free time, so we came to check on you." The Norwegian player explained. You nodded, but you heard a snap shot. You turned your head towards Karólína with a confused look.

"Sorry, it's so cute. I had to." She tried to defend herself, but you didn't have a lot of time to think about it because the older Icelandic player started to wake up next to you.

The first thing she immediately noticed when she woke up was the two players who joined you. She was a little confused, but decided to brush it off when you didn't seem as surprised as her.

The three players stayed there until you closed the shop, helping with the late customers and cleaning before closing. After you dropped them off at their hotel, you drove back to your home.

"Finally alone!" Glódís exclaimed while you closed the door.

"Well, technically, we were alone for a moment, but Mrs. decided to take a nap." You said with a smirk.

"Hey, I was tired."

"I know. I'm just messing with you." You kissed her gently and said, "I missed you."

"I missed you too."

You led her to the couch, where you made out until you had to use the bathroom. While you were gone, you received a text from Karo, which intrigued Glódís. The defender unlocked your phone.

It was not the first time that she did that; you both trusted each other, and you both knew that neither of you would cheat or do any harm to the other.

She saw what her national teammates sent you and let out a little chuckle at the message.

"When did she even take that picture?" she asked no one with a smile on her face.

(picture)

Karo: the little orange fur of Iceland😺🇮🇸

When you were back on the couch, Glódís gave you your phone with a little smile. You raised your eyebrow before turning on your phone to discover your new lock screen.

"To her defence, you really look like an orange cat when you sleep like that."

"I'm. not. a cat." She pointed every word with light slaps with a cushion.

"Too bad, I really love cats." You tried to defend your point. The captain stopped her action and seemed to think about it.

"Well, you love me more than any cat." She reminded you.

"Yeah, that's also true." You tackled her on the couch and started to tickle her. Her laughs were filling the room before you started to shush her with kisses. You stopped only a short time after she finally caught her breath.

"You know what? I think you should come with me and the team for our international game this time."

You took some time to think about it, because even if you really wanted to be there to support her, you had your own duties, and she was aware of that.

"I don't know, älskling."

"Please. The girls miss you, and don't worry, I'll do anything to not let you get bored of them or anything."

"Oh, don't worry, I love them, and I could never get bored of them, but I have the shop and…"

"You can close for a week." She was now making the puppy eyes. "And I promise I'll help you when we get back."

"Really help me, or you'll just fall asleep like usual?" you mocked, making her roll her eyes playfully.

"No, I'm serious this time." She took your hands in hers and put them under her chin, forcing you to focus on her. The captain stared at you like that, waiting for a response until you finally let her win this time.

"Okay," you sighed while Glódís jumped from her spot to hug you. "But don't forget to make up for that."

"I'll not, I promise." She concluded the deal with a passionate kiss. "I love you, Kærasta (darling)."

"And I love you too, Glo."

[spacelesbiandisaster]

Do you guys think Barriss knew about what happened with Rafa and Trace Martez?

Because I started to rewatch Clone Wars recently to pickup on lore for a fanfic I pretend to write I started to wonder if Barriss was aware of the Martez parents fate and ended up with a headcanon about that.

So, we a (almost) certain that was Luminara the one who changed the trajectory of a crashing ship who end up destroying the Martinez sisters home with their parents still inside. At least the description that Rafa give us mach her almost perfect:

I sure that is a lot of beautiful green skin Jedi with the order, even Barriss fits in that description if we really want to push it, but I think it's already common sense with the fandom that Rafa was talking about Luminara. And I couldn't agree more! Luminara being the one involved in this opens up so much room for potential new stories.

Could you imagine a Tales of the Jedi arc with Luminara fighting in the war and having to make difficult decisions such as that to protect a falling republic? How would she deal with her responsibility was a Jedi when the council is constantly sending away to battlefronts? That would be absolutely perfect! I almost with I could suggest to Filoni personally.

But the way Rafa describe the scene sounds like Luminara wasn't the only Jedi who came see her and Trace...

"Afterwords the Jedi came back and one of them came over to me. (...)"

One of them.

So who are the others?

I believe Barriss must been one of them. Remember this all happened in the beginning of the clones wars while the Jedi were capturing Ziro the Hutt (I believe it was in season 1 or 2). There's is no reason for Barriss don't be around at the time, especially given that she is Luminara's Padawan and they were on curruscant, not too far away from the Jedi temple.

She was with Luminara when that ship start to crash. Maybe she even was the one to made the call to set the ship on the apparently empty house to save the people she saw walking on the street and bc everything was happening so fast so Luminara agreed. And honestly, what other choice did they had? It's not like they knew the Martez parents was inside the house, Jedi don't have x-ray vision, and was their job to save as many life as they could. So the two of them did what they had to do, but later they learn about the orphans girls and pay they a visit. Luminara took the responsibility of talking to the orphans because she was the Jedi master (and probably bc Barriss would had been too shocked to stay put in she situation. She is a teenager girl after all) while Barriss stayed aside watching.

It could had been more Jedi with them, but I believe that is very unlikely given that they were fighting a war. The council couldn't realistic spare 5 Jedi to speak to every orphan the war left, but a Jedi Master and their Padawan seen fit for this quest.

At first I thought that was it: Luminara told the sisters the force would be with them and didn't do anything else about the situation, but analysing further what Rafa told Ahsoka changed my mind:

"(...) Trace and I were left, without a home. Just left there to find our way in their system."

Of course that Rafa could be referring to the republic was the Jedi system and they were left on the street, but being Luminara the Jedi involved I believe she left the girls on a orphanage of sorts and when Rafa become of age she find a place and won the right to bring Trace with her. So they had some kind of assistance after their parents death, but we all know that this kind of system had lots and lots of problems and high chance is they weren't take care properly. Not that Luminara or Barriss could had known such a thing, so they truly believed they were doing good to Rafa and Trace.

But why this is important?, you may ask. What difference does it make if Barriss was that or not?

Well, do you remember what happened to Ziro not long after that?

He broke way from prison!

Jabba paid Cade Bane (and I think Aurra Sing too) to go to curruscant's prison and take Ziro back to Nal Hutta to pay for the crimes he commit against Jabba's son. The show have two whole arcs about it and both together form one of my favorites stories on the clone wars.

But picture this: Barriss up to that point was very careful to not hurt anyone. On the second battle of geonossis she is talking about the importance of saving lives even when it means sacrificing herself going as far as asking Ahsoka to kill her just to prevent some weird mind controlling worms to spread to the galaxy. This same girl unintentional kill two person to same many on that ship crash and couldn't do anything to truly help the orphans that were left behind. All because of some Hutt crime lord the Jedi and the republic allowed to prospect in Coruscant (Ziro had a damn cantina on the lower levels! With bounty hunters and other criminals running around all the time and no one made anything about it until Jabba's son, another crime lord, order they to act). And like that wasn't enough, Cade Bane kill lots and a lot of people during his mission to "rescue" Ziro.

I can imagine Barriss looking at all that and wondering what was the point of sacrificing the Martez parents on the first place if everything just end up returning to the status quo. The choice Luminara and Barriss made didn't make anyone life better. People still died. The Martinez sisters were alone. And both the republic and the Jedi were conducting their actions base on what Jabba the Hutt wanted.

That could had been the moment she realized the number of wrong thing were happening because of the order and how far they had fallen from their old ways. Barriss was a solder when she should have been a pace keeper and there's nothing she could do that made the Jedi realize what they were doing to her, to all her Padawans friends and to the galaxy as a whole.

Well... Almost nothing...

My personal theory/headcanon is the Martinez sisters incident were the thing that let Barriss to her radicalization and to the Jedi temple bombing.

She probably decided to stay in Curruscant to try to help the people who live there even though she supposed to stay with Luminara and ended up meeting Letta and her husband Jackal (I think that's how it's spelled) and Letta start to talk about doing this great act to attract attention of the Jedi and of the people and was Barriss was spending all the alternatives she had to resolve the problem in a pacific way she started to agree.

I also think the bombing didn't work out the way Barriss intended to because the girl were a total mess on the Wrong Jedi arc.

Maybe Letta feed the nano droids to her husband a little to early, or they were never meant to be feed the him on the first place (Can you imagine Barriss Offe planning on using a civilian was a living bomb? The Barriss we knew from the second battle of geonossis would rather eat the droids herself!) either way Barriss definitely wasn't in her right mind. Other wise she could had save both Ahsoka and herself from prison very easily by blaming Ventress for all her crimes and this is how:

In the Wrong Jedi arc Barriss a holo transmission were she both learn that Ahsoka and Ventress were together and tell Ahsoka were the nano droids droids were.

Right after that Barriss proceed to stole Ventress lightsabers and go to the deposit Ahsoka is look for the bomb's disguise was Ventress so she can fight Ahsoka.

But why she does that?

If her intended was to further incriminate Ahsoka she could had just called the guards who would seem Ahsoka in a room full of nano droids and would go like "Yeah, she returns to the crime scene, there's is no way this kid is innocent".

And if her intended was to incriminate Ventress she should had put her in the room while unconscious. Then she could proceed to fight Ahsoka and stage a situation were Ahsoka finds Ventress there and when the guards eventually show up they would shoot at the separatist rather than command Tano.

So yeah, Barriss was spiraling over guilt so hard she couldn't think straight. And I couldn't think of any other reason in cannon that could had sparkle such reaction (I you know of something else I'm begging me to tell me!).

Barriss had to correct her mistake if the crashing ship incident, but the Jedi didn't listen to her, so she plan something big to gain the attention but her accomplice fuck somethings up and everything gotta way out of control so she ends up killing even more civilians and the rest we can imagine from there: She kills Letta because she was freak out about taking all the blame, end up feeling even more guilt (if this is even possible) and on a desperately attempt to save Ahsoka she tries to blame Ventress but fails spectacularly.

This is all speculation, but I'm choosing to believe that the Martinez parents death play some part on Barriss's Arc. It really is a tragic event that exposes all the cracks in the role the Jedi said they perform as well as the failing republic as a whole.

I would love to Barriss reaction to that on screen I totally think could be part of a hypothetical Luminara story on a future season of Tales of the Jedi.

But what do you think?

Like I said I planning to write a fanfic that has a great role for Barriss and would be super helpful to her others people opinions on the character, so feel free to reach me out to share your personal head cannons and theorys!

(Ps: I'm still learning english so please forgive me if that was a hard to read post)

(Also could you imagine how funny/tragic would be if both Ahsoka's ex-girlfriend and ex-mother in lawn were involved in the death of her current girlfriend, that being Trace, parents? That is good lesbian drama right there!)

[radioactiveradley]

Been a while, crocodiles. Let's talk about cad.

or, y'know...

Yep, we're doing a whistle-stop tour of AI in medical diagnosis!

Much like programming, AI can be conceived of, in very simple terms, as...

a way of moving from inputs to a desired output.

See, this very funky little diagram from skillcrush.com.

The input is what you put in. The output is what you get out.

This output will vary depending on the type of algorithm and the training that algorithm has undergone – you can put the same input into two different algorithms and get two entirely different sorts of answer.

Generative AI produces ‘new’ content, based on what it has learned from various inputs. We're talking AI Art, and Large Language Models like ChatGPT. This sort of AI is very useful in healthcare settings to, but that's a whole different post!

Analytical AI takes an input, such as a chest radiograph, subjects this input to a series of analyses, and deduces answers to specific questions about this input. For instance: is this chest radiograph normal or abnormal? And if abnormal, what is a likely pathology?

We'll be focusing on Analytical AI in this little lesson!

Other forms of Analytical AI that you might be familiar with are recommendation algorithms, which suggest items for you to buy based on your online activities, and facial recognition. In facial recognition, the input is an image of your face, and the output is the ability to tie that face to your identity. We’re not creating new content – we’re classifying and analysing the input we’ve been fed.

Many of these functions are obviously, um, problematique. But Computer-Aided Diagnosis is, potentially, a way to use this tool for good!

Right?

....Right?

Let's dig a bit deeper! AI is a massive umbrella term that contains many smaller umbrella terms, nested together like Russian dolls. So, we can use this model to envision how these different fields fit inside one another.

AI is the term for anything to do with creating and managing machines that perform tasks which would otherwise require human intelligence. This is what differentiates AI from regular computer programming.

Machine Learning is the development of statistical algorithms which are trained on data –but which can then extrapolate this training and generalise it to previously unseen data, typically for analytical purposes. The thing I want you to pay attention to here is the date of this reference. It’s very easy to think of AI as being a ‘new’ thing, but it has been around since the Fifties, and has been talked about for much longer. The massive boom in popularity that we’re seeing today is built on the backs of decades upon decades of research.

Artificial Neural Networks are loosely inspired by the structure of the human brain, where inputs are fed through one or more layers of ‘nodes’ which modify the original data until a desired output is achieved. More on this later!

Deep neural networks have two or more layers of nodes, increasing the complexity of what they can derive from an initial input. Convolutional neural networks are often also Deep. To become ‘convolutional’, a neural network must have strong connections between close nodes, influencing how the data is passed back and forth within the algorithm. We’ll dig more into this later, but basically, this makes CNNs very adapt at telling precisely where edges of a pattern are – they're far better at pattern recognition than our feeble fleshy eyes!

This is massively useful in Computer Aided Diagnosis, as it means CNNs can quickly and accurately trace bone cortices in musculoskeletal imaging, note abnormalities in lung markings in chest radiography, and isolate very early neoplastic changes in soft tissue for mammography and MRI.

Before I go on, I will point out that Neural Networks are NOT the only model used in Computer-Aided Diagnosis – but they ARE the most common, so we'll focus on them!

This diagram demonstrates the function of a simple Neural Network. An input is fed into one side. It is passed through a layer of ‘hidden’ modulating nodes, which in turn feed into the output. We describe the internal nodes in this algorithm as ‘hidden’ because we, outside of the algorithm, will only see the ‘input’ and the ���output’ – which leads us onto a problem we’ll discuss later with regards to the transparency of AI in medicine.

But for now, let’s focus on how this basic model works, with regards to Computer Aided Diagnosis. We'll start with a game of...

Spot The Pathology.

yeah, that's right. There's a WHACKING GREAT RIGHT-SIDED PNEUMOTHORAX (as outlined in red - images courtesy of radiopaedia, but edits mine)

But my question to you is: how do we know that? What process are we going through to reach that conclusion?

Personally, I compared the lungs for symmetry, which led me to note a distinct line where the tissue in the right lung had collapsed on itself. I also noted the absence of normal lung markings beyond this line, where there should be tissue but there is instead air.

In simple terms.... the right lung is whiter in the midline, and black around the edges, with a clear distinction between these parts.

Let’s go back to our Neural Network. We’re at the training phase now.

So, we’re going to feed our algorithm! Homnomnom.

Let’s give it that image of a pneumothorax, alongside two normal chest radiographs (middle picture and bottom). The goal is to get the algorithm to accurately classify the chest radiographs we have inputted as either ‘normal’ or ‘abnormal’ depending on whether or not they demonstrate a pneumothorax.

There are two main ways we can teach this algorithm – supervised and unsupervised classification learning.

In supervised learning, we tell the neural network that the first picture is abnormal, and the second and third pictures are normal. Then we let it work out the difference, under our supervision, allowing us to steer it if it goes wrong.

Of course, if we only have three inputs, that isn’t enough for the algorithm to reach an accurate result.

You might be able to see – one of the normal chests has breasts, and another doesn't. If both ‘normal’ images had breasts, the algorithm could as easily determine that the lack of lung markings is what demonstrates a pneumothorax, as it could decide that actually, a pneumothorax is caused by not having breasts. Which, obviously, is untrue.

or is it?

....sadly I can personally confirm that having breasts does not prevent spontaneous pneumothorax, but that's another story lmao

This brings us to another big problem with AI in medicine –

If you are collecting your dataset from, say, a wealthy hospital in a suburban, majority white neighbourhood in America, then you will have those same demographics represented within that dataset. If we build a blind spot into the neural network, and it will discriminate based on that.

That’s an important thing to remember: the goal here is to create a generalisable tool for diagnosis. The algorithm will only ever be as generalisable as its dataset.

But there are plenty of huge free datasets online which have been specifically developed for training AI. What if we had hundreds of chest images, from a diverse population range, split between those which show pneumothoraxes, and those which don’t?

If we had a much larger dataset, the algorithm would be able to study the labelled ‘abnormal’ and ‘normal’ images, and come to far more accurate conclusions about what separates a pneumothorax from a normal chest in radiography. So, let’s pretend we’re the neural network, and pop in four characteristics that the algorithm might use to differentiate ‘normal’ from ‘abnormal’.

We can distinguish a pneumothorax by the appearance of a pleural edge where lung tissue has pulled away from the chest wall, and the radiolucent absence of peripheral lung markings around this area. So, let’s make those our first two nodes. Our last set of nodes are ‘do the lung markings extend to the chest wall?’ and ‘Are there no radiolucent areas?’

Now, red lines mean the answer is ‘no’ and green means the answer is ‘yes’. If the answer to the first two nodes is yes and the answer to the last two nodes is no, this is indicative of a pneumothorax – and vice versa.

Right. So, who can see the problem with this?

(image courtesy of radiopaedia)

This chest radiograph demonstrates alveolar patterns and air bronchograms within the right lung, indicative of a pneumonia. But if we fed it into our neural network...

The lung markings extend all the way to the chest wall. Therefore, this image might well be classified as ‘normal’ – a false negative.

Now we start to see why Neural Networks become deep and convolutional, and can get incredibly complex. In order to accurately differentiate a ‘normal’ from an ‘abnormal’ chest, you need a lot of nodes, and layers of nodes. This is also where unsupervised learning can come in.

Originally, Supervised Learning was used on Analytical AI, and Unsupervised Learning was used on Generative AI, allowing for more creativity in picture generation, for instance. However, more and more, Unsupervised learning is being incorporated into Analytical areas like Computer-Aided Diagnosis!

Unsupervised Learning involves feeding a neural network a large databank and giving it no information about which of the input images are ‘normal’ or ‘abnormal’. This saves massively on money and time, as no one has to go through and label the images first. It is also surprisingly very effective. The algorithm is told only to sort and classify the images into distinct categories, grouping images together and coming up with its own parameters about what separates one image from another. This sort of learning allows an algorithm to teach itself to find very small deviations from its discovered definition of ‘normal’. 

BUT this is not to say that CAD is without its issues.

Let's take a look at some of the ethical and practical considerations involved in implementing this technology within clinical practice!

(Image from Agrawal et al., 2020)

Training Data does what it says on the tin – these are the initial images you feed your algorithm. What is key here is volume, variety - with especial attention paid to minimising bias – and veracity. The training data has to be ‘real’ – you cannot mislabel images or supply non-diagnostic images that obscure pathology, or your algorithm is useless.

Validation data evaluates the algorithm and improves on it. This involves tweaking the nodes within a neural network by altering the ‘weights’, or the intensity of the connection between various nodes. By altering these weights, a neural network can send an image that clearly fits our diagnostic criteria for a pneumothorax directly to the relevant output, whereas images that do not have these features must be put through another layer of nodes to rule out a different pathology.

Finally, testing data is the data that the finished algorithm will be tested on to prove its sensitivity and specificity, before any potential clinical use.

However, if algorithms require this much data to train, this introduces a lot of ethical questions.

Where does this data come from?

Is it ‘grey data’ (data of untraceable origin)? Is this good (protects anonymity) or bad (could have been acquired unethically)?

Could generative AI provide a workaround, in the form of producing synthetic radiographs? Or is it risky to train CAD algorithms on simulated data when the algorithms will then be used on real people?

If we are solely using CAD to make diagnoses, who holds legal responsibility for a misdiagnosis that costs lives? Is it the company that created the algorithm or the hospital employing it?

And finally – is it worth sinking so much time, money, and literal energy into AI – especially given concerns about the environment – when public opinion on AI in healthcare is mixed at best? This is a serious topic – we’re talking diagnoses making the difference between life and death. Do you trust a machine more than you trust a doctor? According to Rojahn et al., 2023, there is a strong public dislike of computer-aided diagnosis.

So, it's fair to ask...

why are we wasting so much time and money on something that our service users don't actually want?

Then we get to the other biggie.

There are also a variety of concerns to do with the sensitivity and specificity of Computer-Aided Diagnosis.

We’ve talked a little already about bias, and how training sets can inadvertently ‘poison’ the algorithm, so to speak, introducing dangerous elements that mimic biases and problems in society.

But do we even want completely accurate computer-aided diagnosis?

The name is computer-aided diagnosis, not computer-led diagnosis. As noted by Rajahn et al, the general public STRONGLY prefer diagnosis to be made by human professionals, and their desires should arguably be taken into account – as well as the fact that CAD algorithms tend to be incredibly expensive and highly specialised. For instance, you cannot put MRI images depicting CNS lesions through a chest reporting algorithm and expect coherent results – whereas a radiologist can be trained to diagnose across two or more specialties.

For this reason, there is an argument that rather than focusing on sensitivity and specificity, we should just focus on producing highly sensitive algorithms that will pick up on any abnormality, and output some false positives, but will produce NO false negatives.

(Sensitivity = a test's ability to identify sick people with a disease)

(Specificity = a test's ability to identify that healthy people do not have this disease)

This means we are working towards developing algorithms that OVERESTIMATE rather than UNDERESTIMATE disease prevalence. This makes CAD a useful tool for triage rather than providing its own diagnoses – if a CAD algorithm weighted towards high sensitivity and low specificity does not pick up on any abnormalities, it’s highly unlikely that there are any.

Finally, we have to question whether CAD is even all that accurate to begin with. 10 years ago, according to Lehmen et al., CAD in mammography demonstrated negligible improvements to accuracy. In 1989, Sutton noted that accuracy was under 60%. Nowadays, however, AI has been proven to exceed the abilities of radiologists when detecting cancers (that’s from Guetari et al., 2023). This suggests that there is a common upwards trajectory, and AI might become a suitable alternative to traditional radiology one day. But, due to the many potential problems with this field, that day is unlikely to be soon...

That's all, folks! Have some references~

[summerrobyn]

Two Uika Theory (Dialogue - Part 2)

In the interest of getting this out all in time for what I can only hope is the big reveal episode, here is the second part of my dialogue analysis.

This post in particular will cover the dialogue shown in Ave Mujica from Episode 1 to Episode 3.

Considering I haven't fully analysed Episode 10 yet, I will still continue to refer to right handed Uika has Ruika and left handed Uika as Luika.

Let's get started, shall we?

So that we're all on the same page, I've once more listed out which Uika is which:

MyGo!!!!!

End Credits (Episodes 4 & 7) = Ruika

Speaking with Sakiko (Episode 8) = Ruika

Other Flashbacks = Ruika (yellow shirt)

Stargazing Flashbacks = Either* (darker clothes, longer hair)

Meeting Tomori (Episode 10) = Luika

With Tomori and Anon (Episode 13) = Ruika

Ave Mujica performance (Episode 13) = Luika

Ave Mujica

First Performance + Talk with Saki-chan (Episode 1) = Ruika

Budokan + Face Reveal (Episode 1) = Luika

Aftermath of the Interview (Episode 2) = Either

Donut scene (Episode 2) = Ruika

Door Scene (Episode 2) = Luika

Rest of the Scene (Episode 2) = Ruika

Dissociation (Episode 2 + 3) = Luika

Donut 2 Electric Boogaloo (Episode 3) = Ruika

Train Station Argument (Episode 3) = Luika

Eavesdropping (Episode 3) = Potentially Ruika

Mortis Appears (Episode 3) = Either

Car Scene (Episode 4) = Ruika

Group Photo Scene (Episode 4) = Either

Hotel Room Scene (Episode 4) = Luika

Episode 5 = Ruika

Episode 7 + 8 = Ruika

Car Scene (Episode 9) = Luika

Cafe w/ Anon (Episode 9) = Ruika

School Scene (Episode 9) = Ruika

Costume Scene (Episode 9) = Ruika

Tomori + Mutsumi (Episode 9) = Ruika

Mutsumi/Stairs (Episode 9) = Luika

Rest of Episode 9 = Either

I made a rather silly mistake in my last post with the order but it should be fixed now. Whoops.

Now without further adieu.

Sub Rosa

We'll start from Episode 1, which features Ruika in the beginning half much like Episode 13 of MyGo!!!!!

While this is a Sakiko focused episode, we still see and hear a few telling things about Ruika here.

During the interview, we get her second line (the first being not all that important) which follows Sakiko's wish for everyone to immerse themselves in the world of Ave Mujica at Budokan. Ruika says "Budokan is amazing!"

It's actually the same word that Ruika uses to compliment CRYCHIC's performance. It feels like a supporting statement to what Sakiko says but also as a way for Ruika to compliment Saki-chan's efforts.

After the interview, Sakiko reminds Nyamu of what she asked of her before. "Give me the rest of your life."

Ruika gasps at this. What exactly she's feeling here specifically I can't say for certain but I think it's important to note that Uika is the only one who didn't promise to give Sakiko her life. After all, Ruika agreed without any hesitation before Sakiko could make her grand offer.

Perhaps this is the first time Ruika is hearing about this and she's surprised (and maybe a little hurt) that she wasn't also offered the chance to give her life to Sakiko. It would certainly match how she acts later on in the anime.

Later while they're walking out, Ruika says "I was touched."

This feels like its Ruika - after being given the time to change and process it - saying how much she likes the idea of giving her life to Sakiko. The very idea that such a thing is possible is something someone as obsessed as her would jump at the chance to do.

"I realised how much you care about Ave Mujica."

While this is more subtle, we do see later on how Ave Mujica and Uika become linked together as one choice while CRYCHIC and Tomori (or Mutsumi) are linked together as another choice. I don't think Ruika believes this now but I think she's certainly enamoured with the idea of being in a band with Sakiko.

Ave Mujica is something Sakiko wants to do for the rest of her life. Sakiko chose to bring Uika into the band, in other words, chose to spend the rest of her life with Uika.

Of course Ruika would be over the moon at the idea. This isn't just a passing fad but rather something that will remain until the day they die. Isn't it so romantic?

After Sakiko asserts that she is "entrusted with your lives", Ruika immediately move onto complimenting her. Note how quickly she does it, it seems to be her immediate reaction in most cases if she isn't speaking about Sakiko in another way.

"I can't believe how popular we've become upon debut. Saki-chan really is amazing!"

Once more she uses the word amazing. It feels a bit one note, it's a little strange for a lyricist. She can't come up wth another way to describe how amazing Saki-chan is.

In the flashback, Sakiko ask Ruika to join her band and she says "All right. I'm in." with very little hesitation. She barely even thinks about it before agreeing.

"It's a request from you, Saki-chan."

This girl can not be more obvious. She's very cheerful both in that scene and once we jump out of the flashback as well. She stares up at the night sky while Sakiko teases her with a smile.

Interestingly enough, although it might be a fault of my screen so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, there aren't actually any visible stars in the sky when she does this.

Ruika stars up at the night sky because that's what Uika is expected to do. That is what Sakiko would expect Uika to do. But she's not staring at the stars she loves, she's staring at nothing but the dark sky.

The reason she's smiling, in my opinion, is because Sakiko is here. Plain and simple.

Sakiko promises not to make Ave Mujica a burden for her but Ruika immediately says this. "It's not a burden, not at all. It's actually quite refreshing."

Again, I'll reiterate how Ruika does not like performing at sumimi based on what we've seen of her. In that sense, being in a band that she actually enjoys (if only because Sakiko is there) must seem quite refreshing indeed.

And then Ruika shakes her head.

"My dream of being with you forever came true."

It's not that Ave Mujica itself is something she enjoys, she merely wishes to be there because Sakiko is. She wants to be with Sakiko forever and if that means being a part of Ave Mujica she is more than happy to do it.

We see her smiling happily at CRYCHIC's performance in the flashback which makes this even clearer for me. It's not the concept of being in a band with Sakiko that Ruika truly cares about, it's the fact that for Sakiko a band is something to spend her entire life one. When she's with Ave Mujica, she's declaring to share their lives together until death.

CRYCHIC did not have the kind of binding with it. Ruika is merely happy to see Sakiko happy and that's good enough for her. The only reason why CRYCHIC becomes such a threat is when Sakiko has to choose between which one to revive and which to leave dead forever. Again, Ruika views choosing Ave Mujica as the same as choosing her and choosing CRYCHIC as choosing Tomori and Mutsumi. Only then does the idea of that band fill her with hate.

We then move to the performance at the end of the Episode, this time with Luika.

While she doesn't actually say anything in this scene, I do find it interesting how she responds to Sakiko here.

When Nyamu goes "How about you?" in regards to revealing her face, she glances at Sakiko, who in turn shakes her head. In my opinion, Luika here is asking if she should also reveal her face, to which Sakiko says no pretty clearly.

But Luika looks towards the audience and decides to reveal her face with a confident smile. She stays smiling even as we get a shot of Sakiko looking surprised and rather confused.

It's clear here that she wasn't expecting Luika to go against her wishes because as far as we've seen from their relationship Uika in Sakiko's eyes is perfectly willing to go along with her plans.

But that is Ruika. She is the one who would happily do anything Sakiko says so long as they can stay together.

Luika is not Ruika.

In this moment they are performing as a band to an audience. This is the stage where the dolls are revealed, for the story to make sense, for the audience to be satisfied, the masks must come off. I think Luika knows this and so she reveals her face according to the script.

Dolls are simply what their owners make of them and the audience here are guests to the masquerade. Observers who may choose to become their new owner some day if they impress them enough.

Luika understands this stage.

While I'm not entirely sure which comes first, the lore of the dolls or the songs that Uika writes, they are undeniably interlinked. Based on what we see in Episode 10, which is admittedly not a good basis for how they usually run things, Uika wrote the lyrics first and then Sakiko composed the songs and created a script. If that's how they worked before then really the feel of the characters is created first by Uika before they are brought to life under the spotlight by Sakiko.

As I said before in a previous post, I think Doloris is in some way the true self of Luika. She is her truest self when she sings as she can convey her feelings, the feelings of Doloris that she writes into the songs. In this case, she feels more connection with the stage than she does with Sakiko, she wants to maintain it.

Luika does not even glance at Sakiko, she merely stares at the audience with a smile.

Exitus Actua Probat

Moving onto the aftermath of that performance, while Sakiko and Nyamu are arguing our first shot is of Luika facing away from them.

When the cut happens she's already in the process of turning towards them, hence her eyes, but that doesn't change the fact that she seemed to be staring at the door instead. Perhaps her gaze follows Umiri out of the door?

Ruika spends a lot of time staring at Saki-chan, so to see her facing away when there's a situation going on that feels worthy of being stared at is kinda strange.

Sakiko brings up sumimi as a way to point out that Nyamu was being careless, that much is obvious when following the argument, but rather than back her up as Ruika would have done, Luika merely shakes her head at Nyamu's apology and says "It's fine." with a smile.

Her face however drops when she sees how angry Sakiko is.

But looking at this I can't say it's the expression of someone who is sympathetic or upset that Sakiko's feelings have been hurt. Considering the wide range of Uika expressions later episodes have blessed us with, this doesn't seem quite in line with her more worried expressions.

It's scarily rather blank. Its definitely not a positive expression but I couldn't tell you what emotion this is supposed to be exactly. Is she annoyed? Saddened? Contemplative?

At first glance it read to me as disappointment but I can't say that feels entirely correct.

God Uika, first your hands and now your expressions, can't you be a little more easier to read?

The spotlight is off of her at the moment anyway, which might be important. Nyamu has returned to looking at social media and Sakiko is glaring at Nyamu in anger.

Luika has fulfilled her role in the conversation, Uika has played her part. Now she watches on thinking but what could she be wondering about exactly?

Perhaps she's worried about the band?

But then her gaze turns back to the direction she was looking at before.

It turns towards Mutsumi.

Luika was looking at Mutsumi while Nyamu and Sakiko were fighting.

If the camera in this moment is Luika's gaze then she can clearly see how distressed Mutsumi is. Even if it isn't exactly a one to one view of how Luika sees her in this moment, it doesn't change the fact that Luika is staring at her!

Her gaze is clearly fixed on her, it's not even glancing at the doorway! Umiri left the room and Luika isn't shown to even bat an eyelid in her direction. She doesn't give a flying fuck that Sakiko and Nyamu are arguing.

She glances over just to brush off an apology and assure them that she's fine before continuing to stare at Mutsumi.

AND SHE LOOKS CONCERNED!

If you've seen the Ave Mujica manga, which has plenty more detailed expressions, it's clear that Luika is concerned in this shot. It's pretty clear from what we've seen of Luika is that she is kind to Mutsumi. She seems to pay her extra attention compared to other people.

She also is kind to Tomori. In other words, she treats those that Ruika comes to see as threats later with kindness. And isn't that so strange?

Ruika doesn't seem to care about much aside from Sakiko and I would be hard pressed to name anything she does seem to care for that doesn't have a link to Saki-chan.

Luika on the other hand helps people without any motive it seems and she naturally seems to focus on Mutsumi before she even thinks to spend her thoughts on Sakiko. I point back to when she compliments Mutsumi unprompted and then only adds in a compliment to Sakiko as an afterthought.

And while personally the idea of Luika/Mutsumi is a great ship that I would really enjoy, I don't think Luika is in love with Mutsumi - at least if she is it's not on the same level as Ruika's love of Sakiko.

Why she cares about her so much out of everyone else in the band remains to be seen but I find her gestures towards her interesting. We'll see more of it later on but for now let's continue with the episode.

While I'm not quite sure which Uika is in the meeting room, either way she pays a compliment to Umiri during it. "Umiri-chan's schedule is so clear and helpful." Her voice sounds bit lighter compared to how the Uika in the classroom sounded. Of course, the situations are pretty different but based on the slight discomfort in her voice as she says "Sorry I didn't tell you all. I had to keep it confidential." I would be willing to bet that this is Ruika.

I think Luika who seems to love music more would be happy to speak with people who loved her songs and her performances. Uika has a more dead sounding voice in the school compared to the lightness she speaks with Umiri with.

Also the way Uika glances at Umiri's empty seat as though she didn't even notice she had left despite her chair literally being right in front of her feels like something Ruika would do. It's not Sakiko so why bother paying too close attention?

Returning to the Uika in the meeting room, who compliments someone without even thinking of Sakiko once more, feels to me like it's Luika. This Uika also barely shows up inside of Mutsumi's house before straight up disappearing without any reference to that fact within the scene.

We see her standing with the others, she says thank you to Minami and then genuinely disappears completely. She is no where in frame in any of the shots before the initial framing one. Both Nyamu and Umiri head to the table but Uika is no where in sight.

Sakiko is in a position where we can see the entrance and Uika is no where within frame. Where the fuck did she go? I could not tell you. I think we've all noticed the fact that she disappears here but I offer a potential location for her.

The camera for the most part seems centred in roughly one location. It turns so that we can see each point that we need to but it is for the most part fixed. What if Uika is where the camera is?

I'm not saying it's a perfect POV shot of her perspective, it doesn't feel like the ones we've seen obviously, but I think it could be an analogue for her focus. This is more me spitballing than anything but when Uika disappears from shot the camera becomes more fixed.

Following that theory, we next see this.

The camera focuses on Mutsumi's face, zooming in closer and closer. It is completely focused on Mutsumi's movements while ignoring the rest of the conversation entirely.

If this what Luika's also focusing on, then she notices how Mutsumi reacts to the idea of going down to the studio.

Maybe she leaves because she knows it would make Mutsumi uncomfortable?

We don't see her watching the movie or anywhere in the studio at all after that point. In this wide shot that shows pretty much the whole space there's no Uika in sight.

No one seems to acknowledge this and we move onto the dreaded interview before anything can really happen. The camera by that point has clearly become attached to whatever Mutsumi is thinking now.

While it's not clear which Uika is in the interview, I do think that it's Luika based on the dialogue in the aftermath.

"It won't last long." She says and Uika is obviously shocked. We get a very clear look of Sakiko's horrified expression, which carries a sense of betrayal in it and based on where Uika is sat it's not impossible to assume she also got a good look considering how hunched over Mutsumi is.

Luika seems concerned in this moment about Nyamu tearing into Mutsumi so aggressively.

She reaches out here with her left hand and while it could be both that are raised, this is the one we can clearly see. It's not concrete evidence but considering what she says next I'm inclined to believe this is Luika.

"It's not like Mutsumi-chan had bad intentions."

She doesn't raise her voice like Nyamu does but you can see in her expression that she isn't happy about what's being said here. Once more Luika is the one to speak up for Mutsumi without even being prompted to.

In fact, in this situation, it wouldn't be incorrect to assume that Sakiko is angry at Mutsumi here or at the very least would be displeased with her. Ruika values Saki-chan's opinions above all else and is quick to give her compliments and back her up. Why then would she as someone so obsessed with Sakiko want to defend Mutsumi here?

The band hasn't yet hit the constant streak of fighting we see although things are a little tense so I can't imagine she would be scared of disbanding like she was at the train station. There is no threat to her eternity with Sakiko yet for her to speak up to try and keep it together. Furthermore, Mutsumi's comment earlier is in complete opposite of what Ruika wants.

She wants to give her entire life to Saki-chan in the form of playing for Ave Mujica. If the band "won't last long" then her dream of saying with Saki-chan forever also won't come true. In that situation, I would think she would be more angry with Mutsumi over that than trying to defend her.

Sakiko is also clearly within the room and also clearly worried about what Mutsumi said during the interview. Her hands are shaking, she's sweating!

And yet Luika doesn't even look at her until Nyamu calls Sakiko out. "Sakiko! Are you gonna keep being silent!? Or are you forgiving her just because you're childhood friends?"

And only then does Luika look at her. Only then does she see her and she immediately realises that's somethings up with her. She asks "Saki-chan...?" with her eyes turning down in concern but for a moment she looks surprised.

Within MyGo!!!!! our first time seeing Ruika during the main episode has several shots of her focusing on Sakiko. The same exists within the first Episode of Ave Mujica as well!

At the mere idea of her leaving, Ruika stares at her like a kicked puppy and her gaze sticks on her even as she leaves and Saki-chan is no longer looking her way. And you expect me to believe the same Uika is oblivious to this so completely?

I press X to doubt.

Moving on to the donut scene!

Ruika here seems obviously glum. I like how when Mana says "I almost feel like shouting 'sumimi will never break up!'" Ruika has a rather lukewarm response. While it's translated as "Yeah" she doesn't actually say anything just makes a noise of acknowledgement. She's not thrilled at that statement.

She's not very present in the conversation anyway, based on how she's staring off into space like this:

Once Mana expresses concern she physically snaps back into the same energy Uika usually has around her with an "I'm fine."

Even then the facade doesn't last long and she looks glum once more. The offering of a donut surprises her but she does take it with a smile. Interestingly, the subtitles for her response are "...Thanks."

That makes me think her smile is more for the sake of being polite than anything else. Her heart isn't really in her response.

And then Ruika finds Sakiko.

Any listlessness in her voice disappears and it's like a new life has been put into her voice. It's not obvious but there is a subtle difference in how she speaks with others compared with Saki-chan. It feels even clearer here considering its back to back like this.

The dullness in her expression and voice is gone and all that's left is pure concern for Sakiko.

I also want to point out the line "My place is close, as long as your family doesn't worry."

Considering what we've seen in Episode 10, it's not surprising that my attention would fixate on this line. But I also find it quite interesting that she asks this despite the fact that Sakiko has been literally sleeping in the office. You'd think her family would be worried about that more than her staying with a friend, right Ruika?

But regardless her response shifts when Sakiko says they won't worry. She looks down for a second and then we don't see her face as she becomes a bit more direct in her request Before it was very much "you can if you want to I won't force you but I'm just putting it out there pretty please" in tone. Almost meek as though she was scared of something.

But once Sakiko's family is shown to not care in this situation, well then she immediately speaks up. "You should come to my house." is not phrased as a question.

Following that with this line and this expression definitely suggests that it's the kind of question that only has real answer. And she smiles here but I'm not quite convinced it's supposed to be reassuring. She looks quite happy at this arrangement to be honest.

Anyway, I discussed the whole wait ten seconds and door conundrum in my first post on the Two Uika Theory and I don't have all that much to add.

Ruika returns and sounds quite excited while speaking with Sakiko. "If you need anything, let me know. Toothbrushes, snacks, whatever." She says it all with the cadence of a child whose allowed to have their first sleepover with her friends.

After Sakiko is more settled in, Ruika falls back into her old habits and picks something to compliment Sakiko with. "The doll is so cute." she says and I'm convinced it's largely because she seems to equate this sort of lavishing as showing love.

You say nice things to the people you like right? It's funny how Ruika is only ever shown complimenting Sakiko while Luika compliments people other than Sakiko.

"Uika, you have met my mother, right?"

And this being her reaction is so interesting too. Uika had no idea that Sakiko's mother had died even though it had been at least a year ago since she was her 3rd year of middle school when she was in CRYCHIC. Ruika also mentions that they haven't seen each other in a year when they met in Episode 8, which makes it pretty odd.

I know Sakiko was hiding her living situation but did she also hide her mother's death from everyone?

Uika then immediately links this to the phone call from Sakiko in Episode 7.

"I see. Because you can't forget, that's why you're 'Oblivionis'... why you're 'Forgetfulness.'"

Even though Ruika is wrong about the why, she is in some ways correct about Sakiko's behaviour. She cannot forget CRYCHIC even though she has tried to leave it behind. Ave Mujica was created to help her forget it, among other things.

Sakiko looks away because she knows Uika has misunderstood her somehow but Ruika quickly takes her hand. Warmly she says:

"You can stay here as long as you want. I'll always stay by your side."

Yet somehow I'm not comforted by this message at all.

Especially since we get a scene immediately after of Sakiko typing and the line it chooses to focus on is her typing "There's no escape anymore."

Side Note: I find it so fascinating that we never see where Uika sleeps. If I remember correctly everyone who has their living space shown is shown with a bed or some equivalent. Nymau might be the exception this I can't quite recall. At least Nyamu's apartment seems to read as a one room studio, Uika's by contrast seems quite big with multiple rooms. Where do you sleep!?

That line of questioning was then followed by Mutsumi showcasing her insomnia.

Anyway moving onto the live dissociation, we see Uika practicing her lines before they go on stage. As I stated in another post, I believe this is Luika based on this episode and the beginning of the next episode.

Once more she shows her concern about Mutsumi unprompted. Umiri answers her question but Nyamu quickly moves on. Sakiko doesn't even seem concerned, to be fair none of them do even as Mutsumi comes limping in, clearly exhausted.

Sakiko doesn't even glance in her direction and while Umiri is shown to look at her as she enters, her attention quickly turns to Sakiko when she begins to speak.

Meanwhile, Luika's gaze lingers and there's clear concern on her face that's absent from Umiri.

She is quite literally the only one shown to care even a little bit here. She gasps when Sakiko tells them to start as though she wasn't expecting it. Her focus was purely on Mutsumi here.

While Nyamu looks excited and Umiri more determined at Sakiko's speech, Luika doesn't react much at all. She leans to the side a bit with a blank expression. It's not quite the same energy that Ruika seems to respond to Sakiko with usually.

Also she's the one to glance over to Mutsumi first. Based on the first time they perform Ave Mujica (the song), no one is supposed to be playing here anyway and the mistake clearly wasn't noticeable enough for people to point it out.

Yet Luika notices somethings up immediately.

Sakiko and Nyamu have the most horrified expressions but there's still more clear in Luika's face here.

Sakiko reacts this way because the performance has just been ruined because Mutsumi fucked up. Immediately after her speech about how failure was not an option.

Nyamu as we later see thinks that this is acting. She is shocked that Mutsumi has this much "natural talent" rather than being concerned over her.

Umiri has an unreadable expression but that's just how she is around this time. She hasn't shown much concern if any towards Mutsumi at all. Any time anything happens, she stands on the sidelines or immediately leaves.

Luika still looks surprised but we are never quite as explicitly shown what she is thinking here. I'll speak more or my thoughts later when we look at the aftermath but we've already established that Luika cares about the stage. I suppose the real question is does she care more about the stage or Mutsumi?

Quid Faciam?

Luika turns her gaze towards Sakiko, the director, the scriptwriter, the one who breathes life into the stage. Sakiko quickly speaks up to improve their way out of this situation. Oblivionis spins an excuse that preserves the stage and the dolls disappear into the darkness.

Doloris is the only other doll who speaks here. "Goodnight. Sweet dreams, everyone." She bows in character (with her left hand being the one she puts to her chest by the way) and departs the stage.

The very first line we get after the opening is Luika.

"Mutsumi-chan, you were amazing! The audience was so surprised too. I didn't think you could pull off a performance like that."

It seems Luika believes this to be an act. Maybe her glance to Sakiko was more of a question of "is this supposed to happen?" rather than searching for a way to salvage the performance.

She sounds surprised however at Umiri's question. "Did you plan it out with Togawa-san?"

Luika audibly gasps here. "Huh?"

"Because it was so perfect, it didn't seem impromptu." It seems that she didn't think it was something planned, why would she it wasn't in the script?

She's also surprised at the fact that Mutsumi made a mistake in the first place. So maybe she only believed it was an act because in her mind, Mutsumi doesn't make mistakes so whatever went wrong there was something in character. It was done for the stage.

Mortis (the character) must have had some reason to dissociate in such a way but Mutsumi must be fine, right?

"I didn't know you could make mistakes during live performances."

That line by itself is so interesting. As far as we know, Uika has only watched the one CRYCHIC performance. How then would she know enough about Mutsumi to say such a thing? It's also later established that she's not even around for practice all that much either and yet she sounds pretty confident in that fact.

She believed that Mutsumi could not make mistakes and so was convinced her dissociation on stage was because she was merely acting out a role.

They haven't known each other for too long in terms of working together on Ave Mujica so how can she say that with such certainty?

Regardless, it's only after she mulls on the conversation, centred around Mutsumi that she turns to compliment Sakiko. It takes her a moment to think about it because her mind has been focused on Mutsumi. Even if they're misplaced, Luika has still heaped compliments onto Mutsumi in a much nicer sounding way than the other girls' comments. She speaks highly of her.

And only after thinking and doing all that does she then add "Saki-chan, you're incredible too. You can react so quickly."

On the surface it's admirable how Uika manages to turn everything into a compliment directed at Sakiko. If you look a little closer at how the compliments from Ruika and Luika differ, its impressive how often Luika throws them in like they're afterthoughts and she's just remembered she needs to be doing them.

Moving onto the next scene where Uika shows up. This time it's Ruika.

"At least it's resolved now. Thank goodness."

It feels almost a little heartless how she says those words while we see Mutsumi clearly struggling. Even if the rumours have gone away, is she so blind that she believes that the fact everything hasn't been properly resolved isn't going to cause issues later down the line?

Except she truly thinks that way.

Sakiko even tells her straight up that it wasn't something she wanted. "I don't want the audience to think that's what Ave Mujica's world is like."

And Ruika is audibly surprised by that.

I also find it interesting that Sakiko tells her that "Normally, Mutsumi doesn't make mistakes during performances." I have to wonder if that extends to practices too since I don't think they've done enough shows to say that with such certainty.

Either way, the fact that Sakiko felt the need to tell Uika that is interesting. Luika seemed pretty certain of that fact even if she worded it in a way that made it sound like a more casual assumption.

Sakiko wanted to make sure Uika knew that it was in fact the case because Sakiko believed that Uika wouldn't know that.

Which makes sense since aside from working with her in Ave Mujica, Uika has only seen one performance of Mutsumi.

And she doesn't attend practice so really where is she getting this from if the others haven't told her that information herself? Why does she think she knows Mutsumi so well despite all current information pointing to the opposite? They so far have been presented as childhood friends of the same person but we have no sign that they had ever interacted before this.

Sakiko speaks like no one else in the band really knows Mutsumi, I doubt she spoke about her to Uika.

"Since the beginning..." is said in such an odd way, slightly awkward and blank. It sounds like she's jealous. They stay in silence for a moment before Ruika says "Oh, right! I have donuts here! Want to have some together?"

She's not subtle at all. Her voice is lighter, she's moved on entirely from Mutsumi and this entire gesture is based on her mimicking someone else being nice to her. Rather than take her message to heart, Ruika instead takes this as something she can use to get closer to Sakiko.

"There are many flavours- chocolate, strawberry..."

All the different Uika's that she could be for Sakiko. I find it interesting that she doesn't actually name all the flavours even though we see four different types of donuts. Instead she only gets two.

And she gets shot down. Ouch.

For the rest of episode, we're back with Luika for the most part.

Rather than side with Sakiko, Luika plays the mediator here in the beginning. "You two shouldn't be arguing here..." however, is pretty relaxed when the other two seem quite heated.

But what sets her off is when Nyamu brings up not playing in a band.

Specifically we see her left hand twitch here at these words. She steps up with a cold sort of feeling - is it frustration? Anger?

"I won't let Mujica disband." Her tone of voice lacks any of the warmth or signs of life it had in it before. Luika here speaks in the most blank tone she has ever done so far.

I think here is where both Ruika and Luika have an agreement. They cannot let Ave Mujica disband. For Ruika, she won't be able to stay with Sakiko forever if they disband. For Luika, she won't be able to truly express herself without Doloris and the songs she writes for this band.

"If a band member quits, it's basically the same as disbanding." is such a dramatic thing to say. Especially when it's not even true. And yet she looks and sounds pretty serious when she says it.

"It's also betraying the fans who support us." and she throws Nyamu's words right back at her.

At the very least, she does seem ashamed to be missing practice. As the fight escalates, with even Umiri throwing her two cents, Luika takes a step back and looks at both of Sakiko and Nymau.

"Sorry, let's not argue. Let's calm down and talk this through"

Luika seems to have more awareness than Ruika of other people's emotions. She sees tensions rising and recognises that fighting isn't good for the band. They need to reach a resolution or they might fall apart and that's against her goal here of keeping Ave Mujica together.

After the train ride home, everyone else walks mostly apart not even looking at one another. Only Luika spares a glance back at Mutsumi.

She looks concerned. She watches her get off. And she's the only one who bothers in that moment.

Umiri does call out when she sees her go the other way and shows her very first concerned expression. Congratulations Umiri you're gaining the ability to emote!

I do think it's interesting that Umiri's arc becomes her wanting to show that she cares about others, that she can be trusted. This manifests as her wanting to revive Ave Mujica and doing anything to achieve that. Ave Mujica is the centre of this growth for her. It is her stage so to speak where she interacts with the characters and gains a heart. She comes to care for them openly, even if she's not quite sure how to do that.

Likewise, Luika's whole world is Ave Mujica. This is the one place where she can truly be herself. Doloris only exists within the world of Ave Mujica and Luika acts in a way that ultimately serves the stage the best. Whatever she can do to keep them together she does, even if it's not something that Ruika would think of doing.

Anyway, I have spoken about my thoughts on the eavesdropping scene and I don't have much to add there but I'll point out some things that stood out to me beyond what I've already mentioned.

Another shot of Luika showing concern to Mutsumi. She seems surprised at the request for her to go on ahead and doesn't even look but Sakiko while she's speaking, only turning her head when she's registered what she's said.

But she still agrees.

And I think that's because Ruika would have agreed. Even if they think different things and have different desires, in the end Luika and Ruika are still pretending to be one Uika. There is some give and there's some take and I think Luika has realised she can't stand up for Mutsumi here while also staying in character as Uika Misumi.

Luika still hesitates though, she glances back at Mutsumi again before heading off. I think a part of her realises this conversation needs to happen for the sake of the band. They're going to talk out their frustrations and hopefully reach a conclusion. And then they can all go back to performing in Ave Mujica, right?

Hah.

There's not much to say about Mortis appearing, since I'm not entirely sure which Uika is here nor does it impact the scene such.

That being said, I like how Mortis mimics how Doloris closed off the scene during Mutsumi's first dissociation on stage. "Goodnight. Sweet dreams."

Conclusion

I know I said this would be two parts.

One) I am a liar.

Two) Typing any more words on this is causing my computer to cry and I'm scared for its life.

I'm still aiming to resolve all of this before the next episode so at the very least I'll do my best to finish it this week or early next week.

I would expand on my thoughts about these two but again my computer is crying and two I want to compile it all at the very end.

Good night. Sweet Dreams.

[literallys-illiteracy]

EGO-Less Mirror Dungeon Abnormalities:

Well now this is 1 tenth off of my to-do List, theres still over forty left im pretty sure

Resident of metropolaris

Highway devotee

Spider of Marrige

KQE-1j-23

Wandering Mind

Resident of Metropolaris:

The only other major thing to note is the “Polaris” section, with Polaris being the north star, or the stationary star directly towards the North Pole.

Metropolis on its own is a word used to refer to the largest or most important city in an area or country.

--

I will be quite frank, reading through this abnormalities event the first time I couldn’t gain anything from the thematic, mostly thinking “huh that was weird” and moving on.

On hearing the suggestion that this abnormality was based on the novel “Metropolis” which I had read a long time ago and could not remember in detail, I became more intrigued in this abnormality before promptly forgetting about it entirely.

For the record I chose which abnormalities I analyse via a random number generator, with 4 random numbers, and then one of choice — I did not choose this abnormality in particular, mostly as a didn’t want to re read metropolis. Maybe if I do go back to read it one day, I will also return to this abnormality, but both of those are unlikely considering the size of my reading list.

Primarily, the theme of this abnormality relates back to the city itself, relating back to the taboo’s of the nests acting to “protect” those within their care, with the citizen stating “If nobody can touch each other, then nobody can hurt each other”

Though the taboo’s of the nests, and the rules of the city at large, may seem strange and absurd to outsiders, akin to the odd rules of this Metropolaris, following the rules of the city, though risking the seemingly painful repercussions of breaking the taboos, with the citizen itself stating that it hurts, it is far better than living outside the organised structure of the city.

Now onto my conjecture regarding the novel and film Metropolis and its possible relations:

in this story, the metropolis is a technologically advanced city, seemingly perfect, yet fuelled by the slave labour of a hidden lower class — The link to the city itself may be drawn, being fuelled by the unseen suffering of those deemed less valuable, however it is more so that both cities are a criticism of Capitalism as a whole.

The more important link to the novel is in the ending, with the statement that "There can be no understanding between the hands and the brain unless the heart acts as mediator." potentially relating to the taboo of the citizens not seeing or touching each other, and this, never reaching an understanding, the linking of the lower and upper classes can never be made without the joining of their hands, however if the workers remain out of sight, fall silent, it is as if there was never any suffering in the first place.

Highway Devotee

Potentially related to the abnormality released in the next dungeon set, as both this and “explorer on a bereaved Road” seem to share a thematic, however we will discuss that at a later date.

I personally believe that this abnormality relates back to he concept of being stuck in a position in your life, which is oddly enough the exact thematic that The King In Binds uses — Milepost is a term often used for an achievement, similar to milestone. The name “Milepost of Survival” seems to invoke the concept of someone living their life, reaching a crossroad as they travel, a marking point for how long they have survived.

The Main road will block you in, trap you in a stagnant, singular role for what seems like an eternity, who knows when the next time you will come upon a crossroad like this one, Its Longer Than You Think.

The Alternative, the byway, represents taking a shortcut in life, cheating to gain a position, an action which the gods of… Traffic, will not look kindly on.

Spider of Marriage:

This Abnormality is about toxicity in marriage. That is clear to even those who have no media literacy. The married couple is stitched together, trapped in this nest by the brambles of the celebratory flowers. The couple, being stitched together, is constantly losing blood, needing to suffer in order to hold themselves, and by extension each other, up and moving.

The literary reference is me thinking constantly that this joke is funny: The EGO gift that is given by this abnormality is named “Prejudice” and is a pride affinity EGO gift. Pride and Prejudice is a novel by the author Jane Austen, published in 1813-

A large portion of the novel focuses around the conventions of marriage at the time, being that many marries are not borne out of love, not from the heart, but rather the wallet.

While I do think the reference within the EGO gift to be intentional, I do not believe that the abnormality itself is directly inspired by the theme within the novel.

All together, this abnormality is quite simple, acting as a very direct and obvious message towards the conventions of marriage and the expectation to remain with a partner for life, while also acting as a metaphor for marriage as a while, healthy nor not, with the couple’s reliance on one another in order to survive at all.

KQE-ij-23:

If you are unaware, this abnormalities code is O-06-20-02, in Lobotomy Corporation, the code for the abnormality “Nothing There” is O-06-20.

What does this mean? I dont fucking know???

My best bet at a linkage between these two is the fact that this abnormality seems to be partially a human, or rather, this abnormality is a robot which has been designed as a human? Maybe the other way round?

The opening lines establish that it seems to be leaking blood, rather than oil or antifreeze like a robot would; The [Hello] Option gives the line “in its movements you feel a plea for help”, but this isn’t brought back up at any point in the encounter nor logs again?; The Terminal on its chest, alongside the original two lines being [Hello] and [Goodbye], could be linked to the hole in NT-’s third phase where the lines match while having a hole in its chest?

The final major link to Nothing There is the fact that it says it appears to be “Incomplete”, akin to the way in which Nothing There will never become a human, and is thus always incomplete, simply being a shell undergoing its rote programming and basic observations of humans (wait hold on).

Okay I wrote that last part and had somewhat of an epiphany regarding this theory, the link between the incomplete nature of the machine and the endlessly seeking nature of the Tour Guide, with the Tour guide’s event claiming to have an “administrator”, which has left it incomplete — This is/Was the only Abnormality to have the keyword “Mechanical Amalgam”, linking back to this “Incomplete nature” and reliance on what it has been programmed to do, it is possible that, even if not directly linked to Nothing There, it is almost certainly of the same ilk relating to the theme of being an “Incomplete Human”.

O-04-84 is the Abnormality code of Meat Lantern in Lobotomy Corporation; F-04-21-03 is the Abnormality code of Faelantern in Limbus Company — Limbus Company uses a different abnormality classification system to Lobotomy Corporation. Even Aberrations dont share the same code across games, meaning that my statement about KQE being of the same ilk but not directly related is almost certain, and as we all know, I am never wrong (not legally binding).

Wandering Mind:

So, Starting off with the abnormality’s EGO gifts this time: Phantom Pain is the sensation of feeling pain from a non existent, amputated body part, most commonly Limbs.

Mirror Touch (touch is basically the same word as tactile) Synesthesia is a phenomenon where, upon observing another person, may feel the same or a similar sensation on an area of their body (E.g., Seeing someone touch their cheek and feeling a sensation in your own cheek) — This condition may be acquired following amputation due to sensory loss.

. Finally, the name of the abnormality itself: a “wandering Mind” is often used as a term for when one has thoughts unrelated to, nor produced by, current tasks or stimuli.

Both EGO gifts have names referencing tactile hallucinations, both of which may often be related to amputation, which is fitting due to the lack of arms in the abnormality itself.

This Abnormality is also, in some way shape or form, is linked to Cathy, as the EGO gift “Handheld Mirror” requires the latter EGO gift to create, and as the form of “Every Catherine” is similarly grey and arm-less in appearance.

The opening lines of this encounter are vague, relating to the concept of a wandering mind, settling within this shell of a human.

A mind never occupied in the present, only wandering, wondering what could have been, blindly reaches out to touch anything with its illusory hands.

Attempting to reach out to it, to grab its hand, reveals these hands to be an illusion, to be “Something that should not have been made visible”- a fact that the Abnormality seems to know — Recoiling after this, it turns into a small statue, the Gift “Phantom Pain”, lacking the small orb which hovered in the chest of the abnormality.

I want to note the imagery of a black hole that has been used within this abnormalities artwork, the event horizon centring the torso, the Singularity being placed where the heart would be.

The concept of Phantom pain, in this abnormality, may not specifically relate to the phantom hands, but rather the heart, the hurting from what is no longer there, the hole in the place of the heart acting to draw everything in, to consume, only to realise that it no longer has any means nor motive to do so.

Once again we are able to relate this abnormality to Catherine, or rather to Heathcliff, no longer having a reason to hurt, feeling empty as they have lost their heart.

[shrinevandal]

Initial thoughts on Double and Neoplasm - Who is guilty? What's true and what's a lie?

Hello! This is a (fairly long, sorry) post analysing the MV for Double, as well as Neoplasm, and what it means for Mikoto, Orekoto, a potential 3rd alter, their relationship as a whole, and Mikoto's judgement.

Note: I am a system myself, I am usually not very open about this so please don't ask about the details. But I think it's important to state that I do struggle with a lot of the same stuff Mikoto* does, and so my perception of it comes from a level of understanding that singlets may not have.

Obviously this contains spoilers for both Double and Neoplasm, I would recommend you watch/listen to both beforehand. This is also just my initial interpretation, I have purposefully avoided any other posts about it to make my theory/interpretation as straightforward and from-the-source as possible.

Some terminology notes: I will be using John to refer to Orekoto, as Es has so thoughtfully dubbed him. Also, if I say MILGRAM in all caps I am referring to the project itself, and if I say Milgram in title case I am referring to the location/entity which Es works for. I also believe the 3koto theory, which will become relevant at various points here. Any translators or sources will be linked at the end.

Alright, let's get into it. Music video analysis:

Double - Visual Motifs

There are a lot of visual elements to Double, which I will break down into different sections.

Phone (& Tarot)

There are two major instances of Mikoto's phone being important in the song: Right at the beginning, when he's getting several texts and then an incoming call from "Chief" (almost certainly his boss), and in the middle of the song, when he gets a call from his mom. In the beginning, Mikoto* doesn't even look at the texts, and when he answers the call, he seems to barely be listening.

Translation of the texts are as follows (thank you rochisama on wordpress!):

- Regarding the first draft you submitted today, I think option B might be the best after all, so can you remake it by morning.

- Also, I forgot to mention, but you made a lot of mistakes with the one we spoke about earlier, so make sure it’s all fixed too. This one also needs to be ready by morning, so I’ll leave it to you to get everything ready.

- Oi, get back here now.

- Are you going to abandon your duties?

There are also two fun little details here with the phone: His lock screen is a picture of the Hanged Man, the same version that was on his shirt in MeMe:

Also, His battery is at 29%.

Two of prisoner nine.

Later in the song, when his mom calls him, he immediately picks up, greets her energetically despite the bags under his eyes, and informs her he's doing well and not to worry.

"Oh, hello? Mom? It’s been a while. Yeah… well, I mean, some days are hard, but… I’m doing alright, don’t worry. How’ve you been? I’ll go home next time I get some time off."

He also hangs up very quickly, as if he doesn't want to talk to her. He gives her placating words and then ends the conversation as soon as he can.

According to his S1 Interrogation questions, Mikoto's family consists of him, his mom, and his younger sister. His parents are divorced. He gets along well with both his mom and sister, but also states that he can't let his mom worry. This checks out with him hiding the truth from her, as letting her know just how badly he's doing would certainly cause concern. Keep all this in mind, it will become important later on.

Eyes

I don't have much of note to say about it right now, but eyes are a pretty heavy visual motif throughout the whole video.

One thing I will say about it, though, is the large eyes across the whole screen show up twice: Once as orange, symbolizing John, and then as a grey-blue, symbolizing Mikoto.

Colors

There are five important colors: Blue, Green, Red/Orange, and Pink.

I'm grouping red and orange because I believe they both symbolize John. Blue is obviously Mikoto.

As I've mentioned, I am a fan of the 3koto theory- The visuals in the MV for MeMe, and even the composition itself, allude to 3 different entities (Music theory nerd here, hehe - I wanna write my own take on the 3koto theory eventually and talk about the way the song itself changes, but that's for another time.) And now in Double, it seems like there is still that imagery, albeit much less strongly than before.

So green, like in MeMe, symbolizes Midori/Midokoto/whatever you wanna call him. Pink is a little bit of a weird one, so I'll get to that in the moment. Anyway, let's start with some John moments.

The red glow in the back shows that John is the one fronting in all three of these shots, with Mikoto being asleep behind him in the second one.

An example of blood splatters with an orange tint. This is part of the reason I think both orange and red symbolize Mikoto, since they're so interconnected here. Also, as mentioned in the eyes section, the eyes there are very orange whereas John is usually associated with red.

Speaking of eyes,

Huge 3koto implications in a few frames from this shot. John's body flashes green at one point, and the background and fire-halo are green when John's eyes are glowing orange. In the next image, the body's eyes are scribbled over in green. This scene in particular is very interesting to me, with both implications of Midori's existence and his connection to the eye motif. It also calls John "savior"

Here's another notable instance of 3koto near the beginning, right after John throws Mikoto's phone. Notice the color progression in the scene. Green background with blue text, down to red background and red text. John is clearly being portrayed as an outsider here, with Midori and Mikoto being a duo.

Going back to blood splatters, there are various points in the video where the "inverse" of the blood is either green or blue. This also checks out with both red and orange being John's colors; Blue is the opposite of orange, and green is the opposite of red. This also doubles (haha) as another example of John being the opposite of MikoMido

The train itself has a lot of green highlights. When John stares out the door into the other train cars, it flashes green a few times. It's not pictured here, but the door also flashes a staticky pink once, and so does Mikoto's body earlier in that same scene I showed where it's fully green.

Alright, more on pink now. I'm actually not entirely sure what it may symbolise, but my main guess is it's Mikoto's victims.

Aside from the instances mentioned above, these are the most prominent pink scenes in the video. Similar to how orange was juxtaposed against both blue and green, here it's against blue. In context, these scene also seems to me like a switch, a realization of what Mikoto has done. A brief instance where his memories coexist with him, and he's horrified at his actions.

Double - Overall Analysis

As pointed out in the colors section above, Midori seems to be very present still. He seems to be haunting the video in a way, lying just underneath the surface.

A really important aspect of DID that hasn't been directly addressed by MILGRAM is the fact that it's caused by childhood trauma, usually around the ages 9 to 10 or younger. For those who don't know, this is because young kids have not fully formed their identity and sense of self yet. Usually, kids will eventually consolidate all their various parts into one, which becomes their sense of self. But trauma literally changes how the brain works on several levels, and for some kids, that interrupts the process of those parts fusing together. (This is also why there's discourse behind the idea of an "original" personality - Which one is the "original" between a pair of identical twins, for example? One cell divided into two, so really neither of them are that first cell.)

My theory for Mikoto's childhood trauma and subsequent DID symptoms, is that Mikoto in his current form is the body's "first" alter, and that Midori was the original host. (I have several reasons for believing it's this and not the other way around, but it's not that important for this post. But do think about, "I'm already the fake one.")

We know that John specifically was created as a result of Mikoto's job stress, meaning he was obviously not around when Mikoto and Midori were kids. By the time the events of MILGRAM roll around, it seems like Midori is completely dormant, or at least very rarely fronts, as John seems to pretty clearly imply just his and Mikoto's existence in both Double and Neoplasm. But if John wasn't around when Mikoto was a kid, there has to have been at least one other alter throughout the course of Mikoto's life. You don't just suddenly develop DID at age 23 without having had it since you were traumatized (Unless the MILGRAM team is just clueless about DID, which is possible too but imo they've done a pretty decent job so far so I would rather believe in 3koto. I have faith in them, maybe that'll bite me in the ass eventually, who knows).

Mikoto's childhood trauma is not very clear, but I think it can be one of two main things, and they are likely connected: Either something to do with his parents' divorce, or the reason he is so against worrying his mom.

Mikoto clearly loves his mother a lot, but it seems like doesn't trust her on some level. He doesn't want her to worry, which is an understandable emotion, especially if she puts a lot of pressure on him to perform well, which I have a feeling is the case. (Full disclosure, I could be projecting my own experiences here, because I have had these same struggles with my own mom pressuring me to do well in school and such. But I think it's worth mentioning)

Mikoto clearly hates his job, but he doesn't get a new one. Referencing the Interrogation again, while he seems to enjoy the career path he's on (ie graphic design), the job he currently has is purely to make money, and not for his enjoyment. He also mentions in the Interrogation that he hopes someday he can start his own indie company. In the real world, it's actually very common for graphic designers to start with jobs in advertising, because it makes a lot of money. Then once they have enough to support themselves, they go on to projects they're more passionate about. So Mikoto's reasons for sticking with his advertising job could be either to make money or to satisfy his mom, or both. Again, I could very much be projecting here.

Now onto his dad and the divorce. I won't lie, I am not at all an expert in Japanese law, but I'm fairly familiar with US law because my mom is a lawyer here. So how it usually how it works in the US is that parents divide custody by either working out a schedule or by simply choosing which kid goes with which parent, unless one parent is abusive, in which case all kids go to the non-abusive parent. In Japan, however, apparently the mom is the default parent that kids go to, regardless of other situations, except in some extreme cases probably. Again, not an expert, but it seems that even if Mikoto's mom was abusive in some way, the court system would still give Mikoto and his sister over to her, especially if her form of abuse is purely psychological with no physical evidence. So this is one possibility, but even if both parents were good people and separated on friendly terms, divorce can be traumatizing for kids. It's unclear at what age Mikoto's parents divorced, but it seems to have been long enough ago that he doesn't even consider his dad part of his family. Meaning it's very possibly the main source of trauma that cause Mikoto's DID.

Neoplasm

Alright, finally it's time for the audio drama! This is a much shorter section, but there's a LOT here and I'm really excited about this one actually, because it seems like a step in the right direction for Mikoto and accepting John. He doesn't know it's DID, nor does Es try to tell him, but he acknowledges it as "sleepwalking", which is still super huge. If Kotoko and Es ever choose to inform him, it seems like they have a much better chance at getting across to him now than when MILGRAM started.

John being much more present and coherent is also big news, as he has a full on conversation with Es, and even receives a name from them. Although he expresses concern about this and "wishes he had stayed a monster", I honestly think this is amazing for both him and Mikoto. Along with the sleepwalking analogy, it's progress on their ability to accept themselves and each other.

John also sheds some light on his and/or Mikoto's murder, claiming that there were several indiscriminate victims, and that his memories are also fuzzy, citing that it's likely because he had only recently been born. To me, the most interesting part of this is the fact that John's memories are not intact. While he seems to think it's just due to not really being used to being alive, I think there's another explanation for it. Fuzzy memories are a very common symptom of DID, and most notably happens when one alter tries to access another alter's memories, often because they're being blocked. Maybe in a similar way to how Mikoto doesn't remember anything? 🤔

Another important thing here is that John claims that he is the one who killed people. But the most pressing question is, is he telling the truth?

We know that Milgram's criteria for what counts as murder and who counts as the perpetrator is very loose; For example, Yuno's abortions are enough to qualify her, and Fuuta doxxing Killcheroy is enough to qualify him. So it's not a stretch to think that maybe John really is the killer, and that Milgram just picked Mikoto as the person to be judged since he's the "main" alter. But this honestly doesn't sit right with me.

If there's one thing we know for certain about John and his dynamic with Mikoto, it's that he would do anything to ensure Mikoto's safety. Notice how he was incredibly nonchalant about the murder until Es pointed out that even with psychological evaluation taken into account, the death penalty is still very likely for Mikoto. As soon as they allude to Mikoto being in danger, John's attitude immediately switches, claiming over and over, very relentlessly, that he was the sole killer, and that Mikoto is innocent. His frantic behaviour is a very clear sign that this is survival mode; why would he tell Es the truth if it could put Mikoto in danger?

All of this really goes back to the major differences between them; Mikoto is honest and uses humor to cope, John avoids being open and lashes out at people. Mikoto straight up blocks all the bad memories, John is aware of them but has a hazy recollection of events.

So while it's a possibility that Mikoto is innocent and that John is the killer, I find it much, much more likely that Mikoto did it and then blocked his own memories, and that John is lying about the situation to protect Mikoto. It's what he's always done, after all.

Final thoughts - Forgiven vs Unforgiven

This may be an unpopular take, but I think as of right now, my first instinct is to vote Mikoto as Unforgiven. I'd like to point out that there's a difference between Innocent vs Guilty, which is how the terms are officially translated, but in Mikoto and John's case I think they are interconnected. There are cases in Milgram where I think they're completely separate ideas and cases where I think the difference is moot, and MikoJohn definitely fall into the latter one.

I also am very conflicted on the concept of Metavoting; for example, Amane being voted Unforgiven was an incredibly stupid decision on the majority's part and I'm not afraid to state that. (Tbf Her mental state is delicate enough that forgiving her would also not end well, but lesser of two evils imo. But all that's for another time.) However, with MikoJohn, again, it actually aligns very well with my actual judgement. John very clearly states that it's his belief that forgiving Mikoto will reduce Mikoto's stress, and allow John to fade away. Whether this is a good or bad thing, or neutral even, is pretty complex honestly, but I think for me personally, I would view it as a bad thing.

Again, I am not very open about my system-isms, but I relate a lot to Mikoto in his current state of being unable to accept John's existence. I was in that exact same position once, and for me, accepting the existence of my alters was very beneficial to all three of us, and we are much closer now and less stressed overall. If John continues to exist, that means Mikoto will have a chance to figure things out and accept John's existence. But if John fades, he may be still caught in that perpetual state of half-existence, with Mikoto being unable to accept him.

So with all these things together; the fact that Mikoto is the one we are judging and I am pretty sure he is the killer, the fact that John may fade if Mikoto is forgiven, and how that isn't a good thing in Mikoto's case, and the fact that - I am pretty damn sure I want to vote Mikoto as Unforgiven. This isn't the be-all, end-all, of course. We don't know if John's prediction is correct about disappearing, we don't know if voting Mikoto Unforgiven will actually have the opposite effect that I hope for and drive him to his breaking point, hell we still don't know who did it. My opinion may change because again, this is just my initial thoughts. I'd love to interact with other systems about this and see their thoughts and opinions. Thank you for reading if you made it this far!!!

Translations, Resources, Etc

Chief's texts, translated by rochisama on wordpress

Interrogation questions, referenced from the MILGRAM Wikia. I'm unsure of the translator, sorry.

A/V of Neoplasm, edited by ac on youtube, featuring translation by onigiriico

kayanomikotoba's Triokoto theory (fun fact, this post is one of the main reasons I got into MILGRAM!)

A quick overview on Japanese divorce law, specifically by the US foreign embassy but it's good enough for my purposes

[bittersweetresilience]

Who do you think falls first? falls harder? when do you think they liked each other? When do they officially get together? Who was their first time???? hehe feel free to ramble. I LOVE your analyses

okay i will also answer this one right before class because it is a great question and also you are sweet and this made me happy 🥰

i think they both fell at the exact same time, which is when they met each other, and also that their feelings developed and grew stronger at the exact same pace. but they didn't get together immediately because yingxing was convinced it was just an immature crush on jing yuan's part and didn't want to get involved with him as a short life species. i also think he lied to himself a little about how much his feelings were. but in my happy world yingxing did eventually get together because jing yuan was very persistent and no one can avoid giving into him for that long 😌

then i think there was a long period of time where blade didn't remember enough to remember this. and when he did remember, it was snatches of things... red ribbon, a pain in his chest he thought was simply from his injuries... i don't think he understood his feelings or had the words to express them. meanwhile jing yuan was yearning the whole time for him so it looks like he was more in love but blade actually loves him more than any of us can fathom. they both love each other so much... jing yuan's love is a steady, everlasting sort of thing, while blade's love is obscured by a whole host of things, but burns so, so fiercely under the surface.

however, i could also see jing yuan not immediately realizing he was in love and having a sudden realization later on. but whether or not either of them know they're in love, they can't stop coming back to each other... orbiting stars, moths to flames, you get it. they can't be separated (╥﹏╥)

as for when they get together... i love pre canon yingjing so i'm biased to say they did get together pre canon. as for renjing i feel like post canon they would spend a lot of time together and basically be dating but never quite establish their relationship until one day someone else refers to them as a couple and blade stops a little but jing yuan just gets all smiley and of course neither of them deny it. that's what they are.

alternatively i am also so fond of renjing having sex whenever blade visits him but them never defining the relationship. they're in love of course but you know... it isn't as though they can be a normal couple with who they both are so they simply don't talk about it. jing yuan doesn't want to tie blade down and blade can't give him all that he wants... they're making me sad again i need to hold them so gently

as for their first time, i am a big fan of jing yuan's first time being blade but blade not knowing that, or if yingjing was a thing, of course it was yingxing. actually, i'm a big fan of both of their first times and only times being each other, as i can't picture them with anyone else ajksjdklfjaksdjflasa. but i could also potentially see yingxing getting with another short life species and jing yuan getting jealous and huffy about it...

[honkai-kin-rail]

Welcome to my blog! ♫

You can call me Robin or Majesty, I am an adult, and I mostly use he/she/h♡r pronouns. But you can use anything apart from they/them.

This is my kinhelp sideblog. I also do things for fictives, fictparas and fictional veritbonds (for MaDD / ID / etc)! ♪

You can find more details below!

This is my first time trying to run a proper help account so I ask patience of you while learning to navigate this, but please feel free to give feedback.

Right now I offer:

Names and pronouns (maybe custom titles, but I'm new to that)!

Icon edits (I would like to limit this to two pride flags per icon right now. I also accept flags for mental health / awareness too).

Moodboards!

I can attempt stimboards, but I've not done them before.

This may change later! But this is what I am prepared for right now.

Please only ask for one request at a time! I have a busy schedule and may not be able to get to multiple at once. And please remember to add themes you want to go with it too! If you're requesting a source I don't recognise from below, please don't use abbreviations (I may not know what it is!).

For now I am comfortable doing requests for: general otherkin/therians/nonhumans/etc, Honkai Star Rail, MCYT (primarily Life Series, Hermitcraft, DSMP, and some other independent players if asked), Rain World, Hollow Knight / Silksong, Mystic Messenger, and potentially more. Just feel free to ask! But I'll need more details if you request anything extra.

I am not comfortable with doing: MLP, Vivzi media. This list may grow. And for clarification, here is a basic guideline:

I have a custom tagging system! I've listed what they mean here so visitors and requestors can reference them.

General posts: ⋆˚｡🌌| the stars echo because of me!

Asks: ⋆˚｡🎶| time to play the next piece!

Accepted requests: ⋆˚｡🎙️| may my songs gift you with pleasant dreams.

Denied requests: ⋆˚｡💭| I hear some disharmony.

Moodboards: ⋆˚｡🪽| its like analysing harmony.

Stimboards: ⋆˚｡🎥| let the show begin!

NTPs: ⋆˚｡☄️| only consistent practice can ensure optimum performance.

Icons: ⋆˚｡📸| its time to step on stage.

Anything additional will be added here later. I may add returning askers, for example! It helps me remember people better. I will also be adding a carrd or neocitied here later for an easier read!!

All assets here done by me! ♫

[i-dont-pay-taxes]

Blank, a guilty gear song, is an ode to the the scientific method... and it's beautiful

Lyrics:

analysis:

"Don't say bye, don't say bye It's just a short break on the way Don't say bye, don't say bye Now, pick up the map that was discarded"

The song opens by introducing one of the core messages which will be explored... this idea of never really quitting, at least not for long, is told to us through the lyrics of not saying bye. Denying the concept of giving up, and calling it a break on this longer journey, before getting back to work by picking up the map (as in, a roadmap of a project).

"The whitespace was innocent For the man didn't paint with no colors He had a brush and a thick sketchbook But he had so much more"

The whitespace in question is a piece of paper, as the song later mentions, with its innocence coming from a lack of any defining features, as it has no color. This idea of a blank piece of paper being analysed is the main way this song conveys its meaning. Where a piece of paper is usually used to write down information, which is clearly where its value comes from, here the man who is using this paper is described as not leaving anything actually on the paper. While he did have a brush and sketchbook, he found something more in the blank piece of paper itself. The song is stating the idea of refusing to accept a piece of paper as nothing more than a tool to write on, instead suggesting we ought to find meaning in even a blank paper.

"The storm comes on calmly The storm comes on suddenly Keep on walking though it hurts To find a space on a blank paper"

These are the main lines repeated throughout the song. The idea of the storm coming on both calmly and suddenly at the same time is a paradox, and just like that concept of paradoxical impossibility, finding color on a blank paper is also obviously impossible in the same way. The song sets up our theme here, the idea of finding evidence to confirm something which is instinctually false. To keep on walking is to keep trying, to keep attempting to prove something, despite knowing it obviously won't lead to anything. That is what being a scientist is at times, seeking empirical evidence confirm something that we know.

"The storm comes on calmly The storm comes on suddenly He knows how to ride it now To find the color on a blank paper"

Almost like a person trying to prove something but always failing, we are consistently brought back to this starting point of a lyric, the starting idea from which everything else leads, changing a bit every time in an attempt to finally prove the idea of finding something on a blank paper.

"Don't ask why, don't ask why It's just a caprice detour Don't ask why, don't ask why It's time to get back on to the road"

The main idea of the song, that being proving something impossible, is challenged. We are told to not ask why, and that we should get going, as trying to prove something clearly false is a waste of time. This plays as a parallel to the starting lyrics, while those were encouraging the continuation of this project, these lyrics, using very similar words, are doing the opposite.

"The wide space was innocent For the man didn't write in no letters He had a pen and plenty black ink But he had so so much to say"

The wide space is a reference to the white space (with them basically being homophones), this time taking on the meaning of other people who are discouraging of these attempts, yet ultimately innocent due to the fact that they are arguing against the existence of something impossible. The man is again shown to be trying to find something paradoxical in a piece of blank paper. The song started by calling out how the had so much more, which could be seen as potential, but now refers to him having so much to say, while his pen and ink remain unused. While he is talking about and discussing his ideas, he is still unable to find any evidence, thus failing to use his pen and ink.

"The storm comes on calmly The storm comes on suddenly Keep on walking against the wind To find a space on a blank paper

The storm comes on calmly The storm comes on suddenly He knows how to write it now (To) define the color on a blank paper"

This song uses these lyrics ad nauseam to signify the consistent trial and error used to prove something. While struggling, having to now "walk against the wind", finally a conclusion is reached, with the ability to define the color on blank paper, something which will finally answer if you even can find anything on it.

"When he has given out some day What is on his mind? Pointless I will give you that, but I did not want to believe Such words "that's the way it goes" But hey My journey is over with"

Here, the narrator refers to himself in the future as a different person, questioning what he will be thinking the day he finally gives up, a concept he is currently so opposed to he can't considering himself the same person if he does that.

Having proven that his paradoxical ideas about a blank paper are indeed provably false, he admits to the pointlessness of the whole ordeal, but still says he simply wasn't content accepting the obvious truth without proof. Either way, does it really matter? His journey is now finally over.

"The storm comes on calmly The storm comes on suddenly Cold and wet and hurt by rain (But) Keep on walking just go on and on

The storm comes on calmly The storm comes on suddenly Keep on walking though it hurts To find a space on a blank paper"

This time these lines are used as advice to others, even if the rain (all the criticisms you will receive) hurts like hell, you have to keep on moving forward, trying to prove even that which is obvious. To find a space on a blank paper is impossible, yet completely worth trying.

"The storm comes on calmly The storm..

When his time runs out some day Where will his heart be? Breathless I will give you that, but I did not want to believe Such words "that's the way it goes""

The paradoxical nature of the storm is finally solved, with it now coming only calmly, the same way that the blank paper is confirmed to be nothing more than that. Again, we repeat the idea of where will a person who proves the obvious end up one day, but having finally proved what he went out to confirm, the lines after conclude the theme.

"My friend

Yeah I'm a fool Still I know this (The) Wind may blow again"

A person who tries to proves that which is instinctually known is considered a fool for wasting their time, and yet... how can we blame someone for wanting to be truly certain of even that which is known? After all, to be a scientist, to be a human, is to go out and find meaning and proof in everything, and our world, our wind, may only continue functioning as normal when we have that knowledge.

Finding the space on a blank paper is impossible, and yet we must try until we are certain of it, for that is the scientific method, which makes us human.

[sirenjose]

Analysis of White Sand Street Asylum - Part 2

Includes Full Character Analyses for: Freddy, Kreacher, Emma, Emily, Leo, Robbie and Dolores, Kurt, Ada and Emil, and Alice.

Previous: Asylum Analysis Part 1

Freddy, in the meantime, has married Martha and only refers to Leo as an “idiot” after learning of the factory fire that likely claimed his life.

However long it’s been, we know Martha is in the “early stages of pregnancy” at the time the fire occurs. She is diagnosed with “mild anxiety” according to Dr. Mesmer (Ada’s father most likely), who recommends “rest supplemented by the prescribed medicine”.

During that same trip, he asks to talk to Freddy later about his “investment in ‘that hospital’ we mentioned previously”. Ada we know worked at White Sand Street Asylum for a time, but we never heard about if her father worked there too. Most we get regarding where he works is Ada says in Emil’s 1st letter that her Charles Mesmer, who is likely her father as well as “Dr. Mesmer” from Freddy’s letter (as well as Keigan’s deductions), has a clinic.

Martha had no need to go to an asylum. It was more of a regular check-up, especially with her being pregnant, so a clinic makes more sense, especially due to the stigma attached to asylums and mental illness back then.

And speaking of asylums, asylums aren’t the same thing as “hospitals”. Yes the church had a clinic, but the orphanage was renovated into an asylum due to the church using the excuse of many of the kids having mental illnesses.

As a result, I think Sacred Heart Hospital is more likely to be the “hospital” Dr. Mesmer aka Charles Mesmer is referring to. But if so, why is it important to note Dr. Mesmer wants investment for it, and in Freddy’s letter of all places? Sacred Heart Hospital isn’t really referenced in many other places besides its backstory (and Hide and Seek due to the dentist, but that’s someone else). But there is 1 time it is mentioned, and to someone connected to Freddy at that: Leo’s 3rd letter.

Yes I want to suggest Charles Mesmer was the one who took Leo to experiment on him.

The author of Leo’s 3rd letter is never specified or really hinted at. We do know that some “mystery man” found out Leo was alive and where, and has been writing to the author of Leo’s 3rd letter “frequently these days”. We know Leo eventually ends up working at the manor for Orpheus as a punisher/hunter. I think it makes more sense that Orpheus aka Baron DeRoss was the one who found out Leo was alive (the same way Orpheus has found out a lot of the sensitive information on other characters). At which point, he potentially asked for Leo or blackmailed the author of Leo’s 3rd letter in order to force the author to hand Leo to him (the same way he blackmails Emily to come to the manor). Considering the person mentions their previous subjects had an “85% chance of dying” during his experiment, that’s likely the sort of thing Orpheus could use to blackmail them over.

Speaking of dying, the only other time “Dr. Mesmer” (likely Charles Mesmer) appears is in Keigan’s deductions. In her deductions, it mentions an “incident” that he was declared “not guilty” for, after which it mentions Keigan getting a “diagnosis” from Dr. Mesmer as well as a prescription.

This medicine is likely what Keigan used to “spike her brother’s meals and control his diet”, which led to “his health slowly begin to deteriorate” so she could take his place. As the “incident” Dr. Mesmer was found “not guilty” for, combined with how in other versions the “incident” is described as “another medical accident”, the “medicine” Dr. Mesmer gave Keigan is potentially the same stuff that caused the “medical accident”.

Based on the 85% chance of death for subjects of the author of Leo’s 3rd letter’s experiments, these deaths could be the “incident” mentioned with Dr. Mesmer, and their chance of death might be caused by the medicine he gives them. Especially since other versions reference that this is “another” medical accident, which implies there’s been more than 1 of these “incidents” with Dr. Mesmer.

We also already know Ada’s father wasn’t exactly a kind man, considering when Ada asked him to help Emil in her 3rd deduction, he refused, and apparently he’s done so more than once. There’s also how Ada wasn’t asked what she wanted to do or given a choice in the matter based on her 1st deduction, and her father was likely part of the reason for this/part of the problem. So it’s not too hard to imagine he could be experimenting on Leo (as well as be the person behind the 85% death rate for experimental subjects).

So if Charles Mesmer was the one experimenting on Leo (and others), this could be why he asked Freddy, a financial advisor, to help with investment for Sacred Heart Hospital, which is where his experiments were carried out.

I wonder then, if this is true, if at least some of the bodies we see all over the hospital, both in the beta and current, could’ve been his previous (failed) experimental subjects? Something unique (static appears on the monitor as well as over the area) does happen when Ada vs any other character is in the hospital, which could hint towards there being some connection.)

Going back to Freddy and Martha following the fire at the Arms Factory, unlike Freddy, when Martha learns what happened, she becomes upset. So much so, she decides to leave him (via a “secret departure” again before he could stop him, just like Martha did with Leo). The reason she gives is because Freddy hadn’t been “completely honest” with her the 1 time she asked him to be honest regarding Leo’s investment into the Arms Factory. Freddy had said it’d be fine “if the investor had sufficient experience and capital”. Martha learned the factory had “an over 4-figure debt. This shows that Freddy had concealed the truth, and while it hadn’t been a complete lie, the fact is he hadn’t been completely honest like she’d asked him to. This reveals to Martha the kind of person Freddy truly was and she decides to leave, and thus why “I wouldn't stay and listen to what you have to say”.

She then explains her intent to take Lisa out of the orphanage, as well as change “Annecy’s” name (Martha and Freddy’s unborn child) and ensure Annecy and Lisa can grow up to “become an honest person”, before warning Freddy that he’ll have to “pay for what we’ve done”.

Last bit regarding Freddy, but his backstory references he is “Trapped by the failed lawsuits of his past”. There is no further info about this, so I’m uncertain if this is before (and why) he became a financial advisor, or if this is after (or as a result of) the Arms Factory fire and Martha leaving him.

Martha seems to show at least some knowledge of financial matters, as she did try to advise Leo against investing in the factory (based on her letter to Leo when she leaves him). With how she was upset enough over this to leave Freddy, make a jab at him by saying she’d raise her daughters to be “honest”, as well as her warning to him that “No one can get away with their responsibilities, Freddy. We all have to pay for what we’ve done”, I wouldn’t be surprised if the lawsuits Freddy faced were because of her and the factory incident, after which he was forced to take a “humble job with a laughable salary” up until he left for the manor.

From here, we don’t get too many more specifics about Martha. What we do know is she eventually goes to the Lydia Jones Clinic.

Lydia Jones was born to a middle-class family, her “ambition and brilliance” allowing her to become a doctor, despite how difficult this was for women to do at this time. As she did this, she always made sure to “practice on herself before using a syringe on a patient”, “prescribed regimens for the good of my patients according to my ability” and promised “never will I harm a patient”.

Upon getting her medical license, she “rented a tiny shop front with the aim of helping as many people as I could”. This “tiny shop” became the “Lydia Jones Clinic”, which is also located on White Sand Street (specifically at 173 White Sand Street).

Along with her desire to help people, Lydia also looked forward to the clinic as a way to “acquire experience that’s impossible to get in medical school”. Unfortunately, the clinic doesn’t do very well: “Records from June to December. Income and expenses are seriously unbalanced. This clinic is losing money”.

Some of the expenses described include: Worm oil and alcohol, Gauze bandages, Chlorodyne, Plantago asiatica and elecampane, and Quinine.

Worm oil was used to expel and kill parasites, alcohol was used as a solvent, antiseptic, and disinfectant in medical preparations, gauze bandages were of course used for wound dressings, chlorodyne was a medicine in the 19th century used to relieve pain, cause sleepiness and euphoria, and improve diarrhea, and plantago asiatica, elecampane, and quinine were plants used for various medicines (plantago asiatica is said to be used to treat things like liver disease, stomach problems, and urinary system inflammation. Elecampane could be used to treat respiratory issues like asthma and bronchitis. Quinine has been used to treat malaria due to its antiparasitic properties).

The ledger shows these expenses were during 1887. Emma was born in 1876 and 22 at the time of her game, which was in July. Emily is 32 at the time of her game with Emma. Therefore, Emily was born in March 1867, and she would’ve been around 20 in 1887 at this time.

In an attempt to increase profits, Lydia advertises her skills as an “obstetrician” to hopefully attract more customers. As an obstetrician, the specialized nature of their work as well as the distinct patient base, this might’ve enabled Lydia to charge higher fees (or open an avenue for profit from services not available for a normal doctor), and thus hopefully help her clinic out of the red.

It’s likely she earned some of the experience and skills she’d need to advertise as an obstetrician during medical school, though I do wonder if she did any additional study at this point to learn what she needed to before selling her services as an obstetrician (as someone who sought experience not found at medical school, and due to her ambition, she sounds like someone interested and willing to learn).

Going back to the original purpose of Lydia’s clinic, which was to “help as many people” as possible, this is likely the same reason why Lydia begins volunteering at “No. 59 White Sand Street”. The deduction does say “Never forget my oath: No matter the time or place, man or woman, the wellbeing of patients is my sole purpose”.

It’s also possible, like with Kreacher, that maybe they promised her some kind of compensation or benefits if she helped them (and considering how her clinic is losing money, this wouldn’t be too unthinkable).

I believe it’s possible that Lydia began volunteering at the church’s clinic before it merged with Kreacher’s orphanage to become the asylum. And while she’s at the asylum, that’s where she’d encounter Lisa.

Going back to Emma after she’s been sent to the orphanage:

According to what Emma says during the Christmas event, she seemed to do similar work outside (gardening) as Robbie. She apparently enjoyed it enough to where she dreams of owning a flower shop when she’s older. Though also similar to Robbie, she describes life back then as not easy.

She says she “watched the plants grow freely outside the fence”, which shows Lisa’s desire to leave the orphanage. And eventually, Lisa does attempt to escape the church’s mental institution (that she’d been sent to from Kreacher’s orphanage). Kreacher said it happened “10 years or so ago”, meaning Lisa would’ve maybe been 12 at the time, and had been at the orphanage for 3-4 years by that point.

It’s possible the reason Lisa was sent to the Church’s clinic or diagnosed with mental illness could relate to the issues we know she has during her game (not to mention, Lisa’s mother did abandon her, her father wasn’t the same after he came to own the arms factory, she was left at an orphanage, and then she had to deal with her father’s seeming death, so she has been through a lot).

Kreacher discovered Lisa’s escape and “notified the nurse at the asylum to bring her back”. He did this because he was concerned for her safety if she wandered the streets on her own and met any of the real undesirables out there (he knew from his own experience how tough it was out there). Despite his actions, Mr. Macallan, Father Duke’s representative, “took credit and ‘generously’ offered me 13 shillings as a reward”. Macallan obviously wasn’t a great person either, considering his actions as well as the fact 13 shillings is apparently equivalent to “two patients’ portions of bread” (which yea he was probably being cheap, but in a way he was also implying Emma is worth 2 portions of bread if that’s all he was giving for her, which could also be a statement regarding how the church saw all the kids in general), which is why Kreacher calls him “stingy”.

Kreacher we know is 30 at the time of Emma’s game, while Emma is 22. This means that Kreacher was around 16 or 17 when Emma joined his orphanage (based on the fact she was 8 or 9 when she was sent there) and would’ve been around 20 or 21 at the time of her attempt to escape the church.

I’m not quite sure where to put this next bit (due to lack of info), but for now I’m putting it here.

Eventually, the church decides they want to take over Kreacher’s orphanage. We don’t know when exactly this happens in relation to everything else, but I’m assuming it was some time after Kreacher ensured Lisa was returned to the church’s facilities (as I assume once they remove him, he’d be out of the picture, and if he’d been removed, I’m not sure he would’ve been there to stop Lisa’s escape).

Either way, it likely happens after they apply some pressure to Kreacher to do so, who agrees, “generously handing over his business and land to the church”. The church thanks him for his “generosity” and informs him “the government will compensate you for all of your financial losses”. Kreacher’s backstory states this compensation was “significant” but “not enough to build a new orphanage”, despite the fact they told him “White Sand Street needs a new orphanage, and I think that you are the most suitable person to handle it”.

The church, publicly, uses the excuse of many of the orphans having “varying degrees of mental illness” to take over the orphanage and transform it into White Sand Street Asylum.

Considering we know the church previously used a “clinic” at an “abandoned church” and then took over Kreacher’s orphanage before renovating it into the asylum, this would explain why the asylum in game has elements of a church, hospital/clinic, and Kreacher’s original orphanage. They seemed to have literally combined all the existing structures and then just added the mental hospital parts to it.

In any case, once the church takes over and starts renovations, they place Mr. Macallan in charge of the orphanage in Kreacher’s place. Things at first seemed to be better without Kreacher, but unfortunately, now that the church has full control over them, they are now able to do with them as they please.

We know the church continues to “treat” Lisa (whether this was before the church completely took over or not, I’m not quite sure). We don’t know how long it was going on for, but we do know she was receiving “electroshock therapy” at least when she was 14, which was 2 years after her 1st escape attempt.

The one to give Lisa this electroshock therapy was Lydia Jones.

Lisa is said to be 14 at this time, meaning Lydia was around 24, which would’ve been maybe 4 years after that accounting ledger showing Lydia’s expenses (and the fact her clinic was losing money).

Unfortunately for Lydia, by giving Lisa this treatment, it breaks Lydia’s oath to “prescribe regiments for the good of my patients” and never “harm a patient”.

This also isn’t the only bad thing happening to the patients at the asylum. Another example is described in Robbie’s deduction 4, which says the “medical personnel” are to “Rinse a patient's head continuously with cold water” to “calm their crazed mind”. This treatment seems to be given for any unruly or “violent” patients (likely those that attempt to resist), especially as the deduction includes “Shock and fear are part of the treatment”.

White Sand Street Asylum is likely based on London's Bethlem Hospital, an insane asylum that grew in infamy due so much, this hospital is the origin of the word “bedlam”, which essentially refers to a scene of chaos, mayhem, and confusion. It was originally founded (on top of a sewer that frequently overflowed) in 1247 by the Italian bishop Goffredo de Prefetti to raise money for the Crusades. Eventually it became an institution for the insane, and later was moved in 1675 to London. At the front gate were 2 statues: one named "Melancholy" who appeared calm and the other named "Raving Madness" who was chained and angry. The facility gradually became overcrowded, causing a deterioration in living conditions as well as malnourishment. At the same time, it slowly became a more and more inhumane place. The death rate became so bad, the hospital had its own graveyard.

Patients here were little more than prisoners. They could even chain patients (iron bands fastened around the neck, abdomen, and arms) to a wall and be left there for years. Even worse was how the asylum allowed visitors, for a fee, to view the “lunatics” to increase bedlam’s profits. The lucky ones were confined, while the unfortunate were subjected to things like leeches, bloodletting, induced blisters, starvation, beatings, submersion in cold water for long periods, or subjected to “rotational therapy”. This involved a patient sitting on a chair suspended from the ceiling and spun, sometimes more than 100 rotations a minute, to induce vomiting and vertigo (as back then, they believed this would expel their illnesses or whatever was wrong with the patient).

Also symbolic was how the building itself, despite the exterior of the building designed to resemble the Royal Tuileries Palace in Paris, was so heavy and the foundation so weak that the load bearing walls in the front cracked almost immediately. These cracks (which grew worse over time) filled with water as soon as it started raining, leading to dampness and unhealthy conditions.

(The gate for the real building, at least to me, feels at least slightly reminiscent to the orphanage gate we see Lisa standing in front of before it became the asylum.)

White Sand Street Asylum wasn’t any better than Bedlam. Especially as they performed experiments on their patients. As part of these experiments, they gave their patients a type of “medicine” using the excuse that they were “sick” (even though they weren’t). In Robbie’s 2nd letter, it is described as “bitter”, and it seems it causes the kids to feel “dizzy and tired”, so much so that it’s a bit challenging to “hold this piece of charcoal to write”. It also seems to affect their memories, as one of the other kids says “Oh, no, Dolores has started shrieking, too. Can it be that... she doesn't recognize her little crybaby anymore? Hasn't she been throwing out the medicine?”

Speaking of Dolores, it seems she knew the medicine wasn’t actually a good thing, and would pour Robbie’s medicine out the window, then she’d drink hers while Robbie was asleep. Robbie found out and tried Dolores’ “soup” once, but “it wasn’t very good”.

Earlier in the letter, the author of Robbie’s 2nd letter mentions a “viscous metallic liquid”. It’s possible this could be referring to mercury, a metallic element that is liquid at room temperature. Some doctors even had mercury pills. In the past, mercury was believed to have therapeutic properties and thus used in various medical treatments. It could be used to induce sweating or purging, and was a method back then they used to remove toxins from the body or to stimulate the digestive system, and doctors also used it to treat mania. Unfortunately, mercury is highly toxic and can cause severe damage to the nervous system and other organs. Prolonged exposure to mercury can lead to neurological disorders, including tremors, memory loss, and behavioral changes.

Some other effects of mercury poisoning (or mad hatter’s disease) I found included: delirium, hallucinations, loss of memory, loss of consciousness, vivid dreams, depression, suicidal tendency, insomnia, a severe and constant burning sensation and pain in various areas, tremors, dizziness, fever, fatigue, vomiting and diarrhea, hypovolemic shock, headaches, paresthesia, ataxia, dysarthria (motor speech disorder), visual field constriction, blindness, and hearing impairment, and emotional disturbances, mental confusion, and behavioral changes (like excessive shyness, marked irritability, excitability), and death.

In fact, calomel, which was seen as a “wonder drug” or “panacea” was commonly used during the 19th century to treat a variety of issues, actually had mercury in it, and could cause mercury poisoning.

In Ada and Emil’s 10 Day Memories event, it includes medicine instructions, which mentions effects of “prolonged and excessive dosages can result in dizziness, hallucinations, loss of consciousness, and other side effects”. Mercury also causes more/worse side effects when a person is dealing with “prolonged” exposure or due to “excessive dosages”, like the Calomel.

Considering how the medicine is described to affect the asylum patients, especially Dolores, this seems to fit.

This also fits with Lydia’s deduction 6, which implies she may have been giving “poisonous drugs” to others while she volunteered at White Sand Street, despite her oath.

Unfortunately, besides this and the electroshock therapy to Lisa, these aren’t the only instances of her breaking her oath. In her desperation to ensure her clinic (the Lydia Jones Clinic) was earning enough money to stay out of the red, she decides to provide “private medical services for female patients”.

Since she was earlier listed as an obstetrician, these “private” only for “females” services that are hinted to be not good based on her deduction saying “Sounds like something strange is going on”, Lydia was likely offering/performing abortions, which were illegal back in the day. Lydia’s reasoning for doing this being “Sometimes, when confronted with life's struggles, you have to compromise” and “Sometimes, you have to break the rules to get what you want”. As we see in Lydia’s 4th letter, she knows she was breaking her oath, but used the excuse of “I had no other choice” to say she wasn’t at fault. It’s not until later that she realizes the truth.

To ensure she wasn’t caught, she threw out anything she acquired after performing an abortion into a bag and let “hungry dogs” rip the bag apart.

Fortunately for Lydia, after beginning to offer these services, she sees “Income has dramatically increased” in just 3 months, and her clinic is finally “turning a profit”.

Unfortunately, these good times don’t last forever for Lydia. It all changes the day Martha Remington comes to Lydia’s clinic.

Despite how we know Martha told Freddy that she’d keep Annecy, their unborn child, it seems she went to Lydia to have an abortion done considering Lyda’s deduction 10 says she (likely the “woman” described here) “underwent an illegal surgery”.

One thought as to why she changed her mind could be because, when she went to pick up Lisa from the orphanage, she saw the horrible conditions there. After which, maybe she felt unfit or unworthy to be a mother and decided to abort Annecy (as well as unable to remove Lisa from the asylum). Another thought is it might have to do with the “mild anxiety” Martha was said to have in Freddy’s 2nd letter. Maybe she didn’t take the “prescribed medicine” when she left, and thus her anxiety might’ve gotten worse.

One last crack theory I had about why the change of heart involves my questions regarding what “medicine” she was given. Considering my earlier theory that Dr. Mesmer aka Charles Mesmer was the person experimenting on Leo as well as how Keigan’s deductions imply Dr. Mesmer was the one who gave Keigan a type of medicine she could use to cause her brother’s health to deteriorate, with this medicine likely being the one from the deduction before that one that caused him to be involved in multiple medical accidents (yet declared not guilty in each). If this is the same medicine being used to weaken/poison her brother, I wonder if this was the same stuff Charles Mesmer could’ve given Martha Remington and potentially maybe why she changed her mind in the end about Annecy and maybe Lisa too.

In any case, she goes to Lydia’s, but the operation/surgery doesn’t go well. According to Lydia’s beta deduction 10, it says the female that is presumably Martha suffered “excessive bleeding” aka hemorrhaging. Hemorrhaging (as well as serious infection) is rare following an abortion but can indicate an incomplete abortion or other complications. In a study of 11,319 medication abortions in 2009 and 2010, hemorrhage occurred in 16 cases (0.14 percent). The need for a blood transfusion – an uncommon occurrence – is an indication of clinically significant hemorrhage.

Most doctors who performed illegal abortions cared only for being well rewarded for their trouble. In the 1960s, these doctors often turned women away if they couldn’t pay $1000 or more in cash. These same doctors also emphasized speed and their own protection. They often didn't use anesthesia because it took too long for women to recover, and they wanted women out of the office as quickly as possible. Almost no one took adequate precautions against hemorrhage or infection.

Typically, the abortionist would forbid the woman to contact him or her again. Often she wouldn't know his or her real name. If a complication occurred, harassment by the law was a frightening possibility. The need for secrecy isolated women having abortions and those providing them.

Given this context, this would explain why, upon Lydia noticing Martha’s excessive bleeding, would’ve fled from the clinic while Martha was still on the operating table.

This is when Lydia writes to Lorraine, stating her inability to continue volunteering at the asylum, and then discussing the “mistakes” being performed at the asylum. This being the fact the children aren’t insane or suffering from mental illness as the church said they were for so long. Lydia states she found this out during her “treatment and evaluation” of Lisa, referring to her electroshock therapy, which Lisa didn’t actually need and likely only did her harm.

After this, Lydia is forced to go on the run, as the punishment for abortions, which were illegal back then, could mean life imprisonment. This is why Lydia changes her name to Emily Dyer. This is also likely why Emily in her backstory is said to eventually/later on be “tired of constantly moving around” and wants to “find a place she can call ‘home’ and ultimately enjoy a life of security and stability”.

One issue I want to call out involves when this (Martha’s operation and death) happens. Based on my attempts, I just can’t get it to make perfect sense.

The factory fire happened when Lisa was 11. Martha leaves Freddy as soon as she hears about the factory’s “4-figure debt” (which is all that is referenced in Freddy’s 1st letter, but it’s likely referring to right after the news of the fire spreads). Martha is already pregnant, meaning if she went to Lydia’s for an abortion, she has less than a year to do so (how long it takes to give birth).

The problem? If the fire was when Lisa was 11, and Martha left Freddy right after she learned of it, meaning she had to have gone to Lydia while Lisa was 11-12, that’s impossible as we know Lydia was still at the asylum performing electroshock therapy on Lisa when Lisa was 14.

It’s possible the public (and Martha) didn’t know about the debt until years after the fire. I’m a bit doubtful of this idea but that doesn’t mean it’s not impossible. Though if this isn’t the answer, I wonder if Netease just made a mistake with the timing here?

Before Martha’s death that forces Lydia to leave the asylum, Lydia seems to have been there the day Robbie died. I believe this is based on Emily’s 4th letter, which includes a mention of “that wailing night in the orphanage”.

Going back to Robbie and Dolores, we know Dolores was tossing Robbie’s medicine so he wouldn’t be affected by it, though Dolores herself kept taking her medicine. This leads to her starting to “shriek”. She isn’t the only one as Robbie’s 2nd letter, when it says she’s “started shrieking, too” implies other children have started doing that, likely because of the “medicine”. As we described earlier, the medicine did include “hallucinations” as an effect, and if the stuff does include mercury, we already described all the possible effects caused by that, and altogether, these things would explain the “shrieking” and why the kid in Robbie’s 2nd letter wonders if Dolores doesn’t recognize Robbie.

Due to Dolores’ mental state continuing to deteriorate as a result of the medicine, she is taken away somewhere else, likely by the asylum doctors. The kid mentions she’s located in an area/room with a “heavy pull-out window there, although it’s always locked” and uses a knife to “pry it open” so he can peek at what’s happening to Dolores.

Robbie’s deduction 7 is a bit different from his letter, though the end result is essentially the same.

His letter implies Dolores got moved to her room the day before due to her deteriorating mental state. Deduction 7 implies she’s been in whatever room she’s in for some time, as Robbie has visited her “after curfew” more than once.

The letter seems to imply he attempted to visit her once (due to this happening between the 24th and 25th) after the move, likely because he could hear her screaming and he wanted to either check on her or make her feel better and died due to the kid from the letter leaving the “heavy pull-out window” open (with the kid blaming himself). Deduction 7 implies the window has been broken for awhile, specifically that the “screws of the window were loose”, as it has already almost chopped off Robbie’s fingers once, and he just got unlucky the day it finally took his head, with Dolores blaming herself for not fixing the window she knew was broken.

For now, I’m assuming the letter is the best version of events to use (mostly just because the 2nd letter is newer than the deductions, and Netease may have tweaked events/story later on for a reason). So maybe Dolores and Robbie were still separated into different rooms even before Dolores was dragged away to the room she was put in on the 24th. Robbie would sneak in “after curfew” and have Dolores tell him the story of the juniper tree because he wants her company. Dolores, who wants to be with her brother, asks why they have to be separated, but Lorraine won’t respond, likely unable to tell her the real reason (because Dolores is particularly unwell, likely because of the medicine). Dolores is later moved when her mental state worsens due to the medicine. The kid unlocks the window with a knife so he can peek at Dolores and what they’re doing to her, but leaves it open when he leaves. That way, on the 25th, Robbie, seeing the open window, attempts to climb in, but is decapitated in the attempt, potentially also because the window frame has a few loose screws.

That same day, volunteers are made to clean up the mess by the window. During this, the volunteer mentions hearing about “a deranged patient attempted to hit the doctors on duty with an axe”. This was likely Dolores upon finding Robbie’s decapitated body, causing her to go out of control, and use his axe to attack the doctors in her room.

Later on, they seem to allow Dolores out, who spends her time “pacing beneath the juniper tree”.

This could be around when Robbie’s 3rd letter happens. In this letter, Dolores is talking to Robbie. She says she finally found a quiet day to visit him. She is likely visiting his grave, considering Robbie’s 4th letter mentions a “mound of soil” under the juniper tree. She warmly remembers the days when “the four of us were together as a family”, even now “when my senses are fading” (due to the “medicine”). She refers to her life as “insignificant” but talks well about her parents and Robbie.

This really shows that, to Dolores, her family was her entire life. She did everything for them, and likely thought of it as her responsibility to take care of everyone, especially Robbie. Unfortunately, when their parents die, her opinion of herself decreases. She might believe she somehow failed, but especially punishes herself for being unable to explain to Robbie what happened. Now Robbie becomes her entire life, almost like a lifeline. She wants to care for him. She does her best. Unfortunately, just like with her parents, events outside of her control lead to his death. And just like with her parents’ deaths, she faults herself. It was her responsibility to keep him safe, and she failed. Without her family, who was her entire life, she feels empty, like nothing matters. All she can do is continue to tear herself apart with thoughts about Robbie’s death.

Dolores feels “desperate” like “my world is being buried”. She’s further upset with how despite what has happened, no one else seems to care, just “business as usual”. She describes everything as “suffocatingly cold. There are no feelings, no thoughts in there. Everything repeats mechanically and lifelessly”.

She also mentions the asylum staff were “wary” of her initially but she acted like a “cheerful and obedient fool” to ensure she wouldn’t be “turned down”.

We also see here hints as to Dolores’ future plans when she says “Since they've long lost their humanity and the asylum is basically hell, I may as well bury everything here!” Though, I do wonder if by the way Dolores says “Don't worry, I'll come and see you. If that makes you less lonely, I'll be happy to do so”, if she means more than to just visit his grave again. As in she plans to die to be with him.

Actually, even an earlier line implies she may plan to die, as she talks about worrying she’ll do enough for him “before I see you”. This combined with how she says “Yet now that the chance is here, whatever humiliation in the past was worth it” backs up the idea she’s been planning this for some time.

This feels similar to how Freddy’s final line in his diary for Martha implies what he’s planning to do now that he’s figured out who Emily is: “It’s almost over, this long, gloomy journey. Martha, see you in hell.”

(Actually, both Dolores and Freddy lose a loved one they can’t live without, sort of lose control over them, formulate plans that involve at least attempting to kill other people in revenge, and include a line that could imply they may be willing to die to be with the person they love again. In that case, it feels like a pretty good parallel and thus could further imply that is what Dolores means.)

Back to Robbie’s 4th letter, we see Dolores had attempted to dig up Robbie’s body apparently before a nurse pulled her away, causing Dolores to “scratch and bite the nuns and even let out chilling laughter”. Lorraine says that Dolores’ “insanity has worsened”, but the volunteer who saw Dolores taken away doesn’t quite believe this and asks where her brother is. This is to show Dolores’ actions aren’t because of Dolores having “mental illness” but just because of Robbie’s death, which the asylum seems to be trying to avoid acknowledging.

It seems Dolores is targeting asylum doctors and staff. She eventually goes after the volunteer writing Robbie’s 4th letter, but other people (based on other versions of the letter) rescue the volunteer from being killed by Dolores, who is likely killed in return (“Dolores’ face that was warped by pain” and “Dolores wasn’t coming back”).

I do want to mention 1 crack theory.

I wasn’t able to be confident enough to suggest it is what actually happened, but there was enough to it that I still wanted to summarize it.

Ok so, Dolores said she essentially pretended to be obedient (likely to drop the guard of the asylum staff and give her an opportunity to do what she needed to). I wondered if this could’ve been why she kept taking the medicine even though she tossed out Robbie’s medicine. She may have even pretended to be more insane or unwell than she actually was (meaning she may have only been “shrieking” as part of her act). But more importantly, while she was still acting “obedient”, she found out a “secret”, something about the asylum or those running it that the doctors and staff didn’t want her to know.

Before this, Robbie’s deductions 3 and 5 make it sound like Robbie and Dolores’ lives improved once Macallan and the church took over ownership of the orphanage. Everyone “looked kind”, they had “plenty of bread and milk, brand new books and clean clothes”, and they no longer had to beg. Dolores even said “things have been so good that I’m anxious”.

The reason I bring this up is because I think it’s possible the secret Dolores learned was involving the truth of the asylum and all the terrible things (and experiments) they were doing in its walls to its patients. Things weren’t as good as they seemed. It’s possible she learned something else, like if the asylum wasn’t actually concerned with the well being of its patients, and instead was primarily interested in profit (similar to Bethlem aka Bedlam asylum, the place White Sand Street is based on).

In any case, this could’ve been why she was separated from Robbie in deduction 7. It could also be why she was dragged away in Robbie’s 2nd letter. Considering the mention of the “water healing” in Robbie’s deduction 4, I wonder if this was what she was being subjected to on the 24th and 25th (maybe they also were trying to stop her from telling anyone else what she learned), though there are plenty of other methods of torture they could’ve used on Dolores.

Robbie, hearing her screaming, enters the window left open by another kid to the room Dolores is in with his axe and might’ve ended up being the “deranged patient” that “attempted to hit the doctors on duty” with his axe (like he does to survivors in game).

Anyways, the axe is his before it becomes Dolores’ and he is a kid so, similar to his inability to understand what happened to his parents, he might not understand the full reality of his actions when he attacks the doctors and thus not think much of it or have a problem doing it.

The doctors stop him (the same way they later stop Dolores during her killing spree) and end up killing him (like they do her later).

After this, I think they fake his cause of death to make it look like he died because of the broken window to hide what they did (similar to how Scrooge attempts to fake Bella’s cause of death during Atropos’ Ropes aka Golden Rose Theater).

The volunteer in Robbie’s 4th letter, after being told to clean up the mess around the window, is only given the explanation “a deranged patient attempted to hit the doctors on duty with an axe”, which sounds more like an excuse for self-defense (and why they’d attack the patient), instead of just saying the patient died in an accident involving a broken window (which sounds a lot simpler and less suspicious. The explanation they gave sounds like they’re hiding something, especially with how the volunteer says “that’s all I need to know” as if she was threatened by superiors not to ask too many questions).

(Maybe this could’ve been the “secret” Dolores discovered. Maybe she initially blamed herself for not fixing the window, but then found out how he actually died.)

Later, after Dolores is dragged from Robbie’s grave, the volunteer mentions Lorraine said Dolores’ insanity is worsening as the excuse for her actions, though the volunteer brings up Dolores’ brother being gone.

It’s possible this could be the volunteer Lorraine references in Robbie’s 1st letter, and the incident Lorraine mentions is actually Robbie’s death, just like the volunteer was asking about. Lorraine in Robbie’s 1st letter mentions “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor” aka don’t lie. This may imply Lorraine has been lying, and it’s possible this could also include the lie regarding how Robbie died, as well as the lie that Dolores is insane (when she and the other children never actually were).

Then, when Dolores starts her killing spree, rather than attacking and killing indiscriminately, if Robbie had been killed by the asylum doctors/staff, that would give Dolores motivation for starting her attack in the first place and why she’d be particularly interested in killing and targeting the asylum staff.

Ok, crack theory over.

Anyways, after this incident is likely when Kreacher’s 1st letter happens, when he writes to Father Duke offering “condolences” and asking for him to transfer the kids to his “new asylum”. He uses money to attempt to reason with Duke to give him the kids, as the “chemicals” the asylum is always “brewing” is resulting in the kids being “driven to insanity or reduced to dullards”, meaning they can’t make money.

Speaking of Kreacher, based on how he says in a later letter that Macallan “didn’t last long”, I wonder if this could mean he was 1 of those killed by Dolores (which is possible if she really was targeting asylum staff in revenge).

Kreacher never does get the kids back, nor does the compensation he receives from Duke/the government amount to enough for a new orphanage, which is why he goes to the manor.

What does happen to the kids is, based on the letter Emily asking Lorraine to “evaluate the patients in the asylum once more” and “seek help from a third party professional” for “your own safety”, Lorraine requests for Baron DeRoss’ “medical advice” in Robbie’s 1st letter to help with a “diagnosis”.

This is essentially to undo the church’s initial claim that many of the kids had mental illnesses, a claim they used to create White Sand Street Asylum, this is likely why Emily emphasizes Lorraine use a 3rd party, and why she emphasizes Lorraine’s safety as the rest of the church (like Duke) likely wouldn’t be happy over this.

As part of the “upcoming consultations” and to ensure “smooth operation”, she introduces Baron DeRoss to “Father Duke as a donor”.

Soon after, the evaluations begin.

Next: Asylum Analysis Part 3

[neuship-zone]

A/N: This post uses lolicon, lolisho, and lolishoko interchangeably. I am referring to all people who like 'little girls/boys/children' in fictional settings, unless otherwise specified.

My stance on lolishokos and similar people

Plus other relevant information i guess

Warning: Long yap sesh ahead

No matter what, I will never ever agree that lolicons, pedos and child predators are one in the same. We can argue about morality for all I care, but there is a line between drawing a fictional child, having thoughts about sexually abusing children and ACTUALLY just straight up abusing children.

You cannot abuse or exploit a drawing. (Well, you can technically, but a drawing doesn't have the capacity to say yes OR no because it's essentially just a construct that can be moulded to your whims).

Thought crimes are not real crimes. You are not evil for having morally dubious thoughts.

Life is defined by your actions in the real world. Not by a book, or a show, or by some intrusive thought. And yes those things have the potential to influence your actions in certain ways, but there are limits and conditions which the people who assert that "fiction affects reality" conveniently forget about. (More on this later)

Some other stances I have regarding this topic:

Using "CSEM", "CSAM" or "CP" (and its 'cheese pizza' variants) to describe fictional media is abhorrent. CSEM and CSAM should only be used for content depicting real children, and CP is a term that non-predators should stop using altogether.

"Child-coded" is a meaningless word. "Adults who look like children" is a meaningless phrase. Being innocent does not make you a child. Being short does not make you a child. Being chubby does not make you a child. Having limited knowledge of the world does not make you a child. Spouting stuff like this reinforces biases against short adults, neurodivergent people, people raised in sheltered environments, etc.

Lolicons who are pedos/"NOMAPs" are not any worse than lolicons who are not.

Minors can be lolicons (not fond of them though)

Engaging in content made by/for lolicons does not make you a lolicon. People can have various different reasons for watching a show or reading a book.

Minors should NOT be engaging with lolicon content (I have a grey area for those 16+ but even then, no-one under the age of 18 should be in lolicon communities. Engage with it in private, at least.)

Now, I say all this, but lolishokos do not get my full grace either. Let's just say...I'm conflicted.

Things I don't really like:

Some lolicons are very...self-righteous? They feel like they are morally superior for liking something 'bad' (I hate the use of bad and good here because people interpret it different, but let me elaborate in a minute). I do not like the notion that anti-lolishos are "ruining the fun" or being buzzkills.

Some will just outright deny that the content they like is bad. Like it or not, a child being in a sexual relationship with an adult (or even just being sexualised in the first place) is BAD. Just because it is bad does not mean you can't enjoy it. But, when you say that it is not bad at all (ie that what is being depicted is not morally wrong), you are now contributing to a MUCH greater problem.

The general idea that fiction doesn't affect reality at all. Yes, writing a shota rape fic doesn't make you a child abuser. That does not mean that your shota rape fic cannot be critically analysed to explore the issues of child exploitation and the fetishisation of abuse. And such discussions are important to have, because it's how we learn and practice the media literacy we all love and worship. If we don't do that, we risk taking away biases from that work which (if left unchecked) can start to influence us. And if someone is sheltered and groomed the right way, those biases become propaganda tools. (That doesn't mean you should actively leave hate on every shota rape fic you find btw. "Don't Like Don't Read" still applies here.)

I still think there's a big issue with predators in lolicon communities. I mean yes there's predators in every community, but it's far easier to hide and prey on children in a community that (more or less) likes children.

I'm a minor, so naturally I don't like the idea of minors being sexualised and/or abused (yes, even in fiction)

Misc stuff

Since I mentioned this in my strawpage, and also in various posts, I might as well elaborate now. (This is also going to be put in a separate post because if I wanna make reference to it in the future I don't want people to have to scroll through 50 paragraphs)

I use lolis and shotas to cope. What does that mean?

I am, to an extent, an autoshotaloli (yes, both). I occasionally see myself as a shota/loli - specifically one that has no age. This is almost solely for coping purposes. I don't consider it agere despite it not being sexual because, well, it's specifically a lolishota. Not just a regular child. I don't know why. I didn't choose to cope like this. (I guess I could also say I'm lolishotakin/copinglink but...I don't really want to relate this experience to otherkinity)

Lolis and shotas are also relevant to my gender, but to a lesser degree. It's more so just childlike aesthetics. I guess I also get gender envy from some child characters so there's that.

I don't really ship myself with any characters, but there are a couple of child characters I would consider my "friends" if that makes sense

I don't really talk openly about this because I fear people will find a way to lump me with lolishos no matter what (for example, a lot of autololis are also (auto)lolicons. They are sexually attracted to the idea of them being lolis. They want to be treated how some lolicons want to treat lolis. I am NOT one of those people but most people who identify as autololi or autoshota are, so 🤷). However this is something I don't mind discussing with other people on this blog, PROVIDED no-one starts being rude to or weird with me.

[mahorobaasterisk]

SHIFTING WITH THE YOGA SUTRAS OF PATANJALI (1-5)

(using translation and commentary by Sri Swami Satchidananda)

Of all the activities I have used to further my shifting journey, yoga has by far been the most powerful. This applies to philosophy too, and it is especially compelling when considered that the two have the same religious roots in both Hinduism and Buddhism. Since practicing yoga, I have seen both my meditation and visualization skills skyrocket far beyond the improvement I experienced when I was practicing near daily, even though now I rarely do so more than once a week.

While engaging with the spiritual side of my practice specifically, I got quite invested in the Yoga Sutras. There are nearly 200 of these in total, and as such I will be splitting my analysis of these into many parts, which will be collected under the "asteriskanalysis" tag. I have included analyses of each of these in relation to both the multiverse and consciousness theories when needed, so I hope that whatever you believe in you will benefit from this.

"Sutra" actually means "thread," and in this instance refers to the threads that make up the mind. We all know how important the mind is in shifting, and it is my hope that understanding the intricacies and how to utilize it to its fullest potential will aid those willing to listen along their shifting journey.

1. Now the exposition of Yoga is being made.

Starting off with a very vague one, this sutra simply means that the following passages are not simply philosophy, but instructions.

Perhaps more relevant (as we are not currently practicing yoga) is the idea that, in the words of Satchidananda, "We cannot reach the goal by mere words alone. Without practice, nothing can be achieved."

This, in my opinion, relates quite simply to shifting. While shifting intentionally can be done easily and without practice, that is simply not the case for most people. It is only through multiple, sometimes even hundreds, of tries that we fully learn ourselves well enough to reach our desired realities.

2. The restraint of the modifications of the mind-stuff is Yoga.

While it sounds complicated at first, this sutra is actually quite straightforward, it is the goal of yoga, however what I find more interesting is the example Satchidananda gives in regards to the "modifications" mentioned. I will not detail the full passage due to its length, however I will summarize.

Imagine you are sitting and suddenly you smell something from the kitchen. There are 3 processes that then occur in your brain: the manas detecting the smell, the buddhi deciding what the smell is (in this case, swiss cheese), and the ahaṁkära, which decides you would like some.

More notably is the disturbance these processes cause. Now that you have exited the state you were in before, you cannot return to it until you satisfy your urge to eat some cheese. Despite this, there is effort and willpower needed to go to the kitchen and grab a piece of cheese, and while for many this effort may seem negligible in the example provided, it is extremely prevalent in the pursuit of shifting.

Reality shifting is not an easy task for the majority of people. We have been raised in an environment that firmly asserts (or at least once asserted) that alternate realities are a work of fiction. Due to this, there is lots of effort that goes into every step of the process, but most notably believing. I myself have witnesses people who have shifted many times before struggle in this regard, however the peaceful (in this case certain) state of mind once possessed cannot be achieved again without significant effort.

3. Then the Seer (Self) abides in its own nature.

This is a complex one, and it is one of the many sutras I would like to do a lengthy analysis of later, however a summary of my thoughts will have to suffice for now.

It is only when the mind is calm can you see the true Self.

This makes the most sense with a water analogy. If a pond is dirtied and the water is moving frantically you cannot see anything residing in it, however, when the water appears pure and calmed you will see the life it houses.

Simply put, you must clear your mind to witness reality. For you, this should be your desired one.

While this may seem straightforward, of course you're meant to have an empty mind while meditating, I have seen many forget this vital step. Any method of shifting works, however lots would greatly benefit from clearing their mind before jumping into affirmations and visualization.

4. At other times [the Self appears to] assume the forms of the mental modifications.

I will absolutely be posting an in-depth analysis of this sutra. The commentary by Satchidananda is beautiful and reframed my perspective on shifting entirely. I cannot do it justice, so please read the full passage here on page 48.

This sutra would take me days to properly analyze on its own, and I will do so, however now is not the time for it, as this post is already quite long. I apologize for any inconvenience, however I feel it would be a great injustice to attempt to explain it now in my current state.

5. There are five kinds of mental modifications which are either painful or painless.

This sutra details the difference between selfless and selfish thoughts, however I want to focus on the premise of developing only positive thoughts. I would suggest people to read the text itself (as linked various times throughout this post) as the idea of thinking selflessly is an inherent positive, but the only part I would like to discuss is the ending.

The method to living this philosophy is the concept of self-analysis, better known as self-study. It is stated that we must carefully watch our own thoughts and consider the implications of them, something integral to the concept of "reprogramming your mind."

For the final time, here is the link to the text I am referencing. I heavily suggest reading it, and I hope it helps you as much as it did me.

[lesboygamzee]

ACT ONE - PART ONE

in reading homestuck again im going to try my best to analyse it to my fullest potential ; while i definitely like to enjoy homestuck Casually i think that doesnt necessarily mean i need to abandon fullblown analysis . i can acknowledge Hard Canon and The Implications in the same way i can acknowledge silly stuff + how im usually going to write characters . something something you have to know the rules to break them . thisll be half rambling half ( poor ) attempts at analysis and a bit of me going Hehe joke funny also i will use the characterses canon names and pronouns for simplicity + i feel its most suited . the exception is tavros because i have tried to not she/her tavros before and it was difficult and Painful i would never do that to her ... anyway .

[…] My intent was always to make the start date a very significant number in the story, recurring frequently. Consequently, I decided to make him thirteen years old, thus making the story about four thirteen-year-old kids. There are more references to this number than can be mentioned casually, some of which are serendipitous. Playing cards, which have a good deal of relevance later, are comprised of four suits of thirteen cards each, for instance.

(page 1 author commentary)

i wont point out every case of 413 occurring but i will point out cases i find particularly interesting or fun :o) the suit of cards thing isnt something i picked up on at first but thats interesting to know ! on page two john is incorrectly named ' zoosmell pooplord ' . zoosmell being a reference to an older comic ( series of comics ? ) of hussies . i read it to see if theres anything of value i can find in there ; even in the silliest and least plot driven media you can find some sort of significance to an authors later work . maybe an idea , a character archetype , or just the plot structure . zoosmells holds no value at all and is stupid though so

im not sure if i talk about it much but i do really like how each main characterses room is in homestuck . not only are they typically really good at getting across a characters basic interests but early on with the beta kids they really sold the whole ' webcomic pretending to be a game ( that is actually a game pretending to be a webcomic ) ' thing . the simplicity of it all , the items of interest scattered around in sometimes nonsensical places , even shit like how the walls are drawn just gives the impression of a guy who you can walk around and play as . and you can ! eventually .

Your name is JOHN. As was previously mentioned it is your BIRTHDAY. A number of CAKES are scattered about your room. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a passion for REALLY TERRIBLE MOVIES. You like to program computers but you are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. You have a fondness for PARANORMAL LORE, and are an aspiring AMATEUR MAGICIAN. You also like to play GAMES sometimes. What will you do?

(page 4) time for analysing interests . while characterses interests definitely dont mean NOTHING in the greater scheme of things theyre probably not as important as most other shit . i find them fun to look into , though :o3

really terrible movies - i need to actually watch these , and i plan to ! im not much of a movie guy unfortunately . i dont think theyll be the end all be all of john analysis but i doubt theyll hold NO value . apparently theyre quite shit but i willing watch the big bang theory so i think ill be fine programming computers - john is the ' player character ' in a story that is currently quite programming-joke-heavy . the fact that hes kind of dogshit at it adds to this . guy doesnt know what hes doing yet and neither do you ! simple enough . paranormal lore - johns interest in ghosts is relatively significant but id consider it more ' iconic ' . the guy likes ghostbusters , his tshirt is a knockoff slimer , etc. i think all of the kids have one of these . it doesnt matter much in the greater scheme of things but i think its cool to see what interest a character is sort of built off of even if it gets overshadowed by other shit quickly ameteur magician - im a little lost on this one honestly . it can kind of go hand in hand with pranks i guess ? maybe theres something worth looking into with regards to characters and their relationship with magic . john seems to specifically focus on magic tricks which is opposed to roses interest in Real Fucking Magic . probably not though thats stupid

on page six is a rare appearence of the cursor . its a remnant from the homestuck beta where every panel was going to be a flash panel . it was ditched for good reason

its also one of the most blatant parts of the video game feel of early homestuck . thats a reader input interacting with a fictional world ! thats all there really is to say on it though i just thought it was neat

biggest plot twist in fucking history

You stow the SMOKE PELLETS on one of your CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS in your SYLLADEX.

(page 9)

i love sylladexes . johns is obviously based off a stack data structure . john rose and dave all have data structure inspsired moduses which i appreciate but i kind of like the silly ones that come into play later on too !!! like all of jades . unfortunate that they get dropped almost entirely eventually :o(

i should give characters that dont get one them . theyre pretty awesome i think

John: Examine Problem Sleuth Poster.

PROBLEM SLEUTH MENTION !!!!!!!!!!!

John: Read note on drawer. This note is rich with the aromas of FATHERLY AFTERSHAVES AND COLOGNES.

(page 12)

i made a seperate post awhile back on how dadbert is a sort of symbol of masculinity of fatherhood of manhood etc etc and more specifically how this interacts with reading jeggbert as transfem or otherwise Not A Dude . i still think that holds some decent value

In any case, you now feel like you have gathered enough things to get down to business and do some really important stuff. The next thing you do will probably be exceptionally meaningful. John: Squawk like an imbecile and shit on your desk.

(page 15)

snrk . anyway , since it reminded me : regarding analysis that strongly take timelines into consideration when i look at a lot of homestuck character analysis i see a lot of people try and make a point of ' oh the homestuck characters dont actually HAVE these specific character traits because in ANOTHER TIMELINE they did so and so ' and while i get that , timelines are interesting as a concept and its fun to think about , it doesnt exactly have a place in character analysis . homestuck is ultimately a story and the characters are less like people and moreso tools to tell that story . this is simple shit i am well aware i am not acting like what i am saying is revolutionary but it does lead to people losing the plot a little ( literally lol ) but like .. character a doing something instead of character b or character c sparing character d or whatever blah blah blah . did these all happen ? yeah sure probably . hell you can explore that in an au and ill probably go ' woah , cool ! ' because again its fun to think about . but it doesnt matter .. homestuck tells a story and while it focuses on multiple timelines . just because john took a shit on his desk in one timeline doesnt mean i need to be factoring in ' probably took a shit on his desk at least once ' to how i write him as a character . he would not fucking do that because he does not do that in homestuck . go and write your shit-on-desk-taker!john au but it has no place in canon analysis and you dont really need to think about it all that much

typheus is a wind god etc etc basic observation . i would really like to read more on the denizens and what gods theyre inspired by but the sources i find are really long and hard to parse .. ill have to look at other peopleses analysis if i want to understand anything i will be honest

on page 25 is the first pesterlog to appear in homestuck , between john and some loser nobody cares about . in a post i unfortunately dont have the link to , said loser is compared to a sort of tutorial character for early homestuck , similarly to johns status as the player character . obviously as homestuck goes on more characters become ' playable ' , as in you see the story through their perspective . but its a pretty neat observation for the early comic !

TG: but who cares about this lets stop talking about it TG: did you get the beta yet EB: no. EB: did you? TG: man i got two copies already [...] TG: why dont you go check your mail maybe its there now EB: alright.

(page 26)

^ classic tutorial conversation . go do your objective !!! your first quest !!!!

[...] The red flippy-lever thing means you have new mail. And that means the beta might be here!

(page 28)

FACT CHECK : this is false === SHITTY ASCII 'BANNER' THAT OF WE ARE DONE HERE ===

anyway it is day two of me working on twenty eight fucking pages and it just hit midnight which means i am going to play miitopia . this is likely going to be one of the shorter posts but i hope i get less rambly as i go on so i can read more than an average of fourteen pages a day jesus fucking christ . Anyway

[sleepysadden]

My gripes with AI and its acceptance

People on the internet participating in spaces centred around creative work of any kind (both technical and more free-form) are often wary of infringing on creative rights of others. These people are an important factor in enforcing proper treatment of original authors by pointing out cropped references to the author, blurred watermarks, providing sources and meticulously analysing code they suspect to be stolen.

It's always satisfying to see a person trying to pass someone's work as their one be called out for it and made to stop through pure societal pressure directed towards something deemed unjust. Unfortunately these techniques are applicable only on singular individuals or small groups. Any bigger entity tends to lack a 'face' towards which any attempts can be directed. This is why its often much harder to enforce rights of smaller creatives whose work is being stolen by bigger entities. It requires an official process often going through channels of the entity in question (dubious effectiveness) or through the legal system (expensive, tasking, and long). And that is if the copyright infringement could be shown, which used to be somewhat easy. AI changed that.

Casey Rickey demonstrated on his YouTube channel how one could go about replicating a specific style using his own and Salvador Dali's work as an example. The results were in my opinion not exactly successful but close enough to be concerning. Currently available AI models are cheap for what they can produce and while their results are sub-par and often recognisable as AI (which is also changing rapidly) they are free or close to free which is much less than an artist would charge for a commission. This is likely enough to undermine real artists through: 1 - their works likely being already included in current models, 2 - ability to copy their exact style to a text or image prompt. Both of those currently seem to be legally untouchable as in both cases unlawful (and unethical) use of source material is near impossible to prove outside of catching the culprit in-act, as mentions of similar style could be dismissed as subjective and not exactly proving anything (which is fair, but doesn't help the victim).

Is AI generated content derivative?

We could assume AI generated content to be a more advanced way of taking inspiration in someone's work and trying to replicate things that we deem worth replicating in it, an admiration-through-imitation kind of approach. Though I would argue that intent here is important. Is the intent really to appreciate someone's work or is it to gain a close-enough copy of the work? In my case I consider it more as a form of advanced tracing, which doesn't gel well with being derivative.

Being more on the conceptual side - AI, in it's current, non-consensual form is theft. But what is it stealing? It's not exactly the works themselves, it's more (at the risk of being too abstract) about the work that was put in. AI is not a way to steal the effect of someone's work, but rather to steal days of training and personal input that made the work the way it is. It's offering to apply someone's expertise to an idea of a stranger at no cost to them and with potential loss of income by the original artist. It's a commission, but the artist is absent.

The above was written without aid of generative AI's. I might have more to say about this later, but it's enough for now.

Edit: I forgot about my actual point. My conclusion is that because AI generated content in its current form is inseparably involved in copyright infringement of people whose works cannot be extracted from the model nor can they be properly compensated for damages (as it is almost impossible to say for certain whether their rights are infringed upon or not) - all authors of generative AI's that cannot provide a complete list of sources for its training data along with proof of rights to using them cannot offer their AI as a service, cannot accept payment for using them, should not have created them and may not create any without providing such sources.

[carrotsofthepirabbean]

Sorry OP but I saw this and latched on like a rabid dog because OH BOY DO I AGREE.

As a teacher it genuinely drives me insane when I see students using it as their primary source for everything. AI is so ineffective when it is not being used properly, and a lot of students just don't know how to use it! Thus jeopardising the development of skills they need to learn!

I experimented with ChatGPT to see if I could produce worksheets for students on science concepts (a few kids were really excelling and had already drained most of my resources dry) and do you know what? It couldn't even generate correct solutions to simple physics problems. These problems involved very basic mathematics. I had to ask it to try completing the problems again with correct working and what do you know? Incorrect again. These were not complicated questions - these were high school maths and physics questions. So as a source for specific information it's rubbish.

And the thing with research projects or other similar tasks - only part of the assignment is about the content and concepts. A significant portion of a grade is actually focused on:

your ability to conduct effective research, and reference your sources accurately

your ability to interpret and critically analyse information

your ability to then document and communicate your findings in a cohesive manner

If AI is used to generate your work - no matter how accurate the information generated might be - that is an automatic fail in each of these categories. If you're not the one doing the work, you're not learning! And if you're relying on AI to complete your work for you, it's plagiarism. Pure and simple. And if you try that at university, you may get suspended or even expelled if you are caught. And if you're using AI to conduct your research at high school - you will SUFFER at university. You NEED to have - at the very LEAST - partially developed research skills. You will NOT develop those skills if you rely on AI. You will struggle.

Please note I'm saying 'don't use AI to complete your work'! I am not saying this to be mean or because I want things to be harder for students - I want my students to develop the skills they need to be successful! And in some ways AI is a godsend, especially for students who struggle with school! School is hard! But it does not get easier if you take shortcuts that will only set you up for failure or more struggle later.

There are ways that AI can be used to assist you in the building of important skills:

as a spellchecker. Upon completing work, you can copy that work into ChatGPT with instructions to correct mispelling. Even better, you can get it to identify those areas, and then correct your errors yourself! Way more conducive to learning!

to 'translate' academic language into something easier for you to understand. Found an academic paper you want to use as a resource, but not sure you understand it properly? You can copy the text in and ask ChatGPT to reword it so someone at your level can understand it. Use prompts like "reword this in language such that a 15-year-old could understand this" (or whatever age group your belong to).

to help direct your research. Let's say I want to write a paper on radioactive dating, but don't know where to begin and I'm getting really overwhelmed. Ask AI to break down the concept for you and identify key ideas. These are then your starting points for your actual research, where you will visit other sources.

to help structure references. Don't know how to use Chicago, or Harvard referencing? Input the details about your source, and get it to do it for you.

There are lots of other ways AI can be used ethically and effectively, but those are just from the top of my head. AI has the potential to be an incredible tool to assist with learning, but too many young people are using it in a way that is actively detrimental to their learning.

Genuinely genuinely hate that kids are using chatgpt to do their schoolwork/study nowadays. Yes i hate a.i. but its mostly because its so ineffective as a learning tool. So many teens just dont make their own notes now. How are u absorbing the info bro. And theyre researching with it. It is academic madness