#for real though I was wanting a completely different breed of dog but the lady was like ‘I have fresh puppies. just 8 days old’

[ckbookish]

Friends… I’m getting a puppy. I shouldn’t be a adult because I am getting all the things that mom said no to as a child. Pink trash can, check. Rolling yellow cart, check. A blue coffee pot, check. The runt of the litter, check.

[artificialqueens]

The Audit, Chapter 1 (Branjie, Scyvie, Ninex) - Phryne

She’s back back back back (quarantine back rolls)! Here’s the rewrite of The Department of Public Safety, with more jokes, more warm and fuzzy moments, and less safety. Please reblog and comment if you enjoyed!

Thank you to @janssports for being the most lovely beta and @scarletenvy for endless support!

This Chapter: There’s a new sherif in town, and she doesn’t play around (though Vanjie hopes otherwise).

***

In the simple town of Lanmore, Virginia — where the grass trimmings lay on the sidewalks until the next storm washes them away, where the sun burns heavy on every blacktop in every strip mall parking lot, where the flag blows freely and haphazardly — it is quiet.

It is all quiet until Vanjie hefts a Wal-Mart bag, filled to the brim with loose packets of SweeTarts, onto the freshly waxed conference room table. She dumps them out, all good and messy, letting them brush against A’keria and Nina’s piles of citizen suggestions, and spill off onto the floor.

And there were at least a hundred suggestions at A’keria and Nina’s end of the table, sorted haphazardly into Bad, Extra Spicy Bad, and Wrong Department piles. They pass workable suggestions directly to Silky or Vanjie to turn nonsense into gold with their keen understanding of Lanmore and its specific breed of citizen, until they spit out a new program to address the concern.  Or the suggestion goes to Scarlet, who brings it to Yvie, who then handles the issue swiftly—and loudly— like she always does.

“So you’re tellin’ me—” Silky reaches across the table and snatches a packet of candy. “That these hos found a way to snort this?” She dangles it between her well manicured nails, as though it were a little bag of dog shit found next to the trash can in Smallman Park.

“They ain’t hos, Silk. They’re like….” Licking her finger, A’keria ponders the hoes as she flips through another stack of suggestion slips rescued from their cardboard box, which lived under Scarlet’s desk, more specifically underneath Scarlet’s balled up fuzzy socks and “secret files,” which no one really wanted to investigate, lest they get trapped in Scarlet’s world by spending too much time with her thoughts. “I don’t know, like, twelve year old boys. They’re just stupid.”

Nina turns around, capping her marker. “Twelve year olds can’t be hos. They’re twelve.”

“You can be a ho and be twelve.” Another flip. A’keria crumples a suggestion slip and launches it at the Extra Spicy Bad pile, missing and hitting Scarlet’s feet.

The Extra Spicy Bad pile held all the suggestions that A’keria took great pleasure in reading out to the group during happy hour, in the traditional Monthly Suggestion Box Clean-Out fashion — in the corner booth at Chewy George’s bar, sat halfway in Silky’s lap, drunk from three blended margaritas, sticking her favorites into her bra, so she could hang them on her desk when she got back to work the next day.

Scarlet turns in her chair and snorts. “Wouldn’t you know,” she says easily, teasingly light.

“Please, you wish you were,” A’keria shoots back, half her attention still on the suggestion slip in front of her.

With a laugh, Scarlet clutches pearls she’s not even wearing. “Excuse me, I’m a lady.” She brightens, splaying out her hands on the conference table, accidentally bumping the Bad pile. “Brigid treated me to a lovely dinner and show last night, sooo. That’s lady-like shit.”

“You’re excused,” Silky adds, but not before she can join Vanjie in rolling her eyes at Scarlet’s remarks.

“She’s not a ho and neither are you, so shut up.” Yvie booms from the front office in that unmistakably Yvie way — loudly inviting herself into a conversation happening in a completely different room, which she has no part of. Such are the powers of being the director.

“Course she chimes in now.” A’keria rolls her eyes before handing Nina a suggestion. “This one’s actually good.”

Vanjie trails away from A’keria and back to the candy. She whips off her shoe, holding the orange suede pump by its blocky heel, and starts pounding the candy mercilessly, throwing her whole body into it. Once, twice, three times, before she shifts her bare foot on top of her other shoe to redistribute her weight. She continues pounding, even as Silky reaches across her to grab a packet of candy, mesmerized by how Vanjie swings her shoe with a vengeance.

She rips it open and carefully pops a SweeTart in her mouth. “So how do these kids even get to snortin’ this shit?”

“You can do anything when you’re stupid enough.” A’keria begins folding the suggestion into a paper airplane, crumpling the nose of it when it doesn’t look pointy enough.

Silky waves a SweeTart in front of Vanjie’s mouth until she opens, letting Silky place it on her tongue. “But what are they getting out of this? Is it like drugs, or…?”

“They snort it, Silk,” Vanjie switches the shoe around to pound with the heel. She gives it a good whack and looks up at Silky with wide eyes. “That’s how they get to snortin it.”

“Yeah but they snort it and then what?”

“I guess you guys better…”

Nina shoots A’keria a look and mouths do not.

“Maybe we should try it and find out?” Scarlet adds, before taking the paper airplane from A’keria, looking over her shoulder, scooting her chair out into the hallway, kicking off of the door frame, and launching herself toward Yvie’s office.

She rolls through the open door, and in one swift move, hands Yvie the airplane, captures the stack of papers Yvie’s waving with a smile, and rolls over to the photocopier next to her desk, yelling behind her, “That’s three points.” Yvie marks the tallies on a Post-It. She’ll put it into the spreadsheet later.

Nina turns back to the candy and opens her mouth. She wants to say something, but instead mashes her lips and shakes her head. Vanjie and Silky mumble “stupid kids,” and “they got nothing to do but dumb shit,” and “you’d probably try snorting candy to get out of reading Lord of the Flies too, Mary,” as they take turns pounding the candy with Vanjie’s shoe.

“I did not, Scarlet did” A’keria drawls, judging that the suggestion of “No more traffic lights. I’m sick of fines and I want to drive like a man” as stupid enough to earn its spot in the “Bad Box.” She crumples it up and tosses it away.

Nina grabs another paper, breaking into a sigh as she scans over the first line.

“Marty the Giraffe and I had a real connection. He ate leaves out of my hand. Who can I call about adopting him?” Nina reads slowly, carefully, as though the sentences were not basic, as though there must be some deeper meaning to glean from the citizen report.

“Gimme that.” Vanjie says, grasping the air until Nina scoots around the table and fits the paper between her fingers. “We’re gonna try some Rizzoli and Isles shit, Silk.”

Silky comes up from under the table, having grabbed Vanjie’s other shoe clean off her foot. She smacks the candy with the heel. “What’s Rizzoli and Isles?” She hits it again, once more, with feeling.

“Like crime ladies who investigate drugs and the one is tough and wears leather jackets and also hot and the other looks at dead people and keeps them chocolate Ho Hos in her desk.”

“Oh my god,” Yvie drawls from her office, watching as Scarlet rolls back in with the photocopies and two pink Starbursts from the candy bowl she keeps on her desk. She breaks her gaze. “None of you are hos.”

A’keria smirks and flips over her phone with a sly smile, before sliding it across the table over to Silky. “Brightness down.”

Vanjie grabs it instead, glances down for a split second, and lets the phone drop into her lap “God, my lesbian eyes.”

“I didn’t know eyes could be lesbian,” Silky mutters, snatching up the phone and turning the brightness back up. She nods, and decisively states, “ho.”

“Everything’s lesbian. That’s how it works. Head, shoulders, knees and toes, Mary,” Vanjie sings, poking Silky.

“And how is your head?” A’keria calls across the table, fishing a slip out of the box. “Nevermind I found it.”

Dropping her shoe back on the table with a clean thud, Vanjie throws herself across the table grasping for the slip.

“It says Vanjie’s tongue is so sloppy…” A’keria pauses to clear her throat.

“How sloppy is it?” Scarlet calls back

“It don’t say shit. Gimme that.” Vanjie grabs the slip and quick stuffs it down her shirt. “There, now you won’t get it.” She pushes herself up and walks back to her side of the table, looking pleased with herself.

A’keria rolls her eyes and turns to Nina. “You wanna get it?” She points at Vanjie, who is now pulling out her credit card. “I won’t even tell HR.” A’keria laughs, and Nina blushes furiously at the thought of HR, which only makes A’keria laugh harder.  

Vanjie separates the powdered candy with her credit card and turns to Silky. “We’re gonna try it, Riz.”

With a shrug, Silky pops her finger into her mouth, sticks it into the pile of candy, and then back into her mouth. “Why don’t they just eat it the regular way?” she mumbles around her finger.

“Because they’re fucking stupid,” A’keria drawls. “That’s how kids are. Fucking stupid.”

“Well, not all of them,” Nina chimes in before sliding another slip to Vanjie. “Here’s a suggestion I think you guys can do something with.”

Vanjie takes up the slip and sets it to the side before taking up the one about the giraffe, rolling it into a thin straw with precision. “Just the stupid ones.”

“Y’all are a bunch of clowns.” A’keria shakes her head as Vanjie cuts the candy into lines.

Vanjie ignores her and turns to Silky. “So, I couldn’t really understand the principal, on account of he sounded like one of those grown ups in those Peanuts cartoons, with Charlie Brown and that dog and shit. But anyway, he said he saw them snortin’ it through the milk straws during lunch period. And then that mom started goin’ off in the office about the police and Reagan and the War on Drugs, and then I stopped listenin’ so…”

“That’s fucked up,” Yvie yells, unwrapping a Starburst.

“Yes it is, Yvangeline. Yes it is,” Vanjie replies, ungrateful for Yvie’s input, before turning back to Silky. “So I take my card and make it into a thin line, like this. And now you got to get something like a dollar bill like they do in the movies or some other paper shit.”

Silky sticks the rolled up suggestion slip into Vanjie’s hand.

“So you just make a roll, and then you get one end to your nose and the other to the line and, like, you just sniff it up.” She plugs one side of her nose, imitating a sniff, but coming out more like a snorting pig on Benadryl.

Yvie glances up from her freshly printed budget papers, and flashes eyes filled with exhaustion and slight amusement toward the group in the conference room. “Guys, we really don’t need to practice snorting candy to see why it’s a problem that middle schoolers are making fake designer drugs out of candy.” She turns to Scarlet. “Hit me.”

“Another Starburst?”

“No, like with a big piece of wood, a lead pipe, your hand.” Yvie huffs, looking over the spreadsheets. “We’re fucked.”

Scarlet rests her hand over Yvie’s shoulder with a giggle. “You don’t try hard enough to be fucked.”  

Yvie lets out a tight laugh, ignoring the warmth of Scarlet’s touch and focusing again on the budgetary discretion spreadsheet.

Scarlet gives her one more pat before walking back out of the office. “Yeah guys, it’s kind of inappropriate.”

“Yeah guys, it’s kind of inappropriate,” Silky mutters into the powder, imitating Scarlet’s high-pitched whine, making Vanjie and A’keria snicker. She rolls up her own suggestion slip, presses it to her nose, and bends over the conference table.

Scarlet rolls her eyes, shoving her chair back toward her desk.

“Well, here I go.” Silky shrugs, making a sign of the cross and taking a deep breath. She holds her finger to her left nostril before shooting up at the sound of a nail tapping at the window behind her and Scarlet screaming at the sight of the blonde woman it belonged to.

The woman has her nose pressed against the window, peering in eerily, eyes wide and cold at the sight in front of her.

The air in the office sinks, quickly becoming dense and stifling. Silky releases the paper from her limp hand, A’keria drops her phone into her lap, and Scarlet’s chair slams right into her filing cabinet, knocking her pictures to the floor with a shatter.  

“What’s going on in there?” Yvie yells, standing in her door frame. Then she sees it, the scowling blond woman rounding the corner into her department.

The combination of the woman’s angrily clicking heels; Scarlet sitting in a pile of broken glass — from a picture of her and Brigid last Christmas at the city’s tree lighting — and cutting her fingers while trying to clean it up; Silky holding up Vanjie’s shoe; Vanjie bent over a table with candy “drugs” in front of her; and A’keria throwing a paper airplane that hits the newly arrived and even more agitated blonde lady in the chest; makes Yvie want to bite down on her hand until she sees blood.

She resists the urge, however, because Nina taught her that was a bad way to manage stress. So she breathes in for eight counts and out for eight more. It doesn’t work, but repeating “fucking Christ” over and over in her mind helps a little, even if it’s not a Monet Invented Nina Approved Official Stress Relief Strategy.

The woman clears her throat and picks up the airplane. She unfolds it and reads carefully, in a disinterested, even tone, “I lost my water bottle here. It is blue.”

Nina staggers out of the conference room, the rest of the team shuffling after her, still disheveled, but not more disheveled than they are on a typical Tuesday morning. “That was for our boss.”

The woman looks them over, her well groomed brows taut. “Why does your boss need to know this?” She shakes her head, as though looking over the team provided her with all she needs to know. Instead, she crumples the paper airplane, just as Vanjie begins to interject about a city-wide reusable water bottle program. “Would someone like to tell me what is going on in this department?”

Silky folds her hands. Scarlet looks between Yvie and her now bloody fingers, before getting up, wiping them on her skirt, and slotting in between Silky and Vanjie. A’keria and Vanjie exchange glances before turning to look at Yvie as well. Nina stands still, silent as possible, fiddling with the button on her cardigan, as though it were of sudden interest.

The blonde nods and follows their line of sight, heels clicking against the cracked tile floor as she strides toward Yvie’s office, coming to a firm halt in front of her. Breaking into a smirk, she runs her index finger over Yvie’s name plate.

“Director Oddly, is it?” she asks in a tone that suggests she already knows the answer, yet she accompanies the question with a tilt of her head, awaiting a response.

Yvie walks out into the department, takes one look at the scowling blonde woman, and mutters, “Oh, fuck me.” Her head pulls back and she closes her eyes, inhaling deeply for eight counts, just like Nina taught her. When she opens her eyes, all she sees is the brown water stain in the warped ceiling tiles—which Scarlet referred to as “The Amoeba” and Vanessa parodied into “Miss Amoeba Edwards, for your consideration, yass gawd.” If only she could laugh upon seeing the silly looking stain, pretend for a moment that the blonde woman and her obnoxious tone would disappear.

But when she looks forward again, she finds her still there. Yvie exhales once more for eight counts and looks at the woman squarely, sternly, her lips forming a tight line, eyes firm and unyielding.

The last time that look saw the fluorescent light of the office was July 24, 2017, at approximately 2:30 p.m., when Silky cut the office’s only AUX cord in half because she couldn’t take any more of Scarlet’s Christmas Spotify playlist, droning out “Blue Christmas” from the small speaker on the windowsill, claiming that “Christmas in July isn’t a real holiday, it’s a day for capitalists, and no, I don’t care if your girlfriend made you that playlist, I won’t listen to ‘Frosty the Snowman’ while I sweat my whole ass off.”

Scarlet bites the inside of her cheek. This is bad.

Yvie raises her gaze to meet the woman’s, grinds her teeth, and replies with a curt, “Yes.”

She extends her hand, which Yvie unceremoniously shakes, before letting them drop. “I imagine you are to be their supervisor then, and yet, they are clearly unsupervised.” The woman takes in the disarray of the office and the embarrassed expressions of the employees, and continues. “So I must ask, of course, why exactly you have one employee teaching another employee how to do drugs off of my desk, while looking at another employee’s nude pictures, while your secretary rolls back and forth between you and the conference room, creating as many safety hazards as possible in the process, just to make sure she doesn’t miss out on everyone crumpling up suggestions from concerned citizens and playing a game with our constituents’ lives.”

“I’m not a—” Scarlet begins before the woman looks at her.

“Well, technically we’re not elected,” Yvie mutters, hoping the woman might just catch it, burning for an argument strong enough to get her out of her department. “So, not constituents, per say…”

“Also, it’s not drugs, it’s candy because we got a call from Charles Middle that kids are crushing up this candy and it’s got to do with DARE and… Anyway it’s not drugs and we’re trying to figure out what’s up there,” Silky digresses.

The woman rubs between her brows, urging them to unfurrow. “No, you misunderstand me. It was a rhetorical question to emphasize that you, a group of grown adults, being paid with tax-payer money, could not possibly be allowed to supervise yourselves.”

“Well, technically, I do supervise them,” Yvie adds, again, growing more irate at this conversation.

“Please.” The woman brushes it off, “If you’re aware that your department is throwing around paper airplanes made of suggestion forms, then you’re clearly complicit in their misuse of time and resources.”

“Only the good ones become paper airplanes.” Nina shrugs. “The bad ones are crumpled, that’s how we sort.”

“You heard it, that’s how they sort.” Yvie gestures to the group before snapping, like her patience had been pulled taut for far too long.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” she says, clearly not sorry.

The woman continues, unfazed.

“So we just ignore concerns?” She looks to the ground, before crouching down to snatch up a crumpled paper. She chokes a snide laugh, unfurls it, and continues. “A slip from a concerned citizen, writing into your suggestion box. And it says.” She pauses, face twisting, eyes widening, before returning to her previously cold countenance. “It says: The Mexicans are throwing cocaine over the fence and I’m scared one of them will become strong enough to throw it into Virginia. You need to stop them.” She turns the paper over. “Sincerely, Jenny Miller.”

Vanjie grabs the slip from her hands, pouring over the words before recrumpling it and shooting the paper ball into the trash can behind Scarlet’s desk. “That’s fucking racist, Jenny.”

“Yeah, that’s fucked up,” Silky pipes up, rubbing her fingers together to get rid of the candy dust.

“Vanj is right, it’s racist, and either way, no one could throw that far, Jenny,” Scarlet drawls, bobbing her head. “We’re a hundred miles from Mexico, at least.”

The woman lets out an exasperated huff, not even touching upon the poor display of geographical awareness. It’s Virginia, for fuck’s sake. “Who’s Vanj?”

Pulling at her bottom lip with her teeth, Yvie points with her pen, releasing her lip as she replies, “The one who took the suggestion slip from you, threw it in the trash, and called Jenny a racist.” She crosses her arms. “And again, who are you?”

The woman pulls back her blazer and taps at her badge. Vanjie tries to look like she’s still offended, but it’s harder by the minute.

“My name is Brooke Lynn Hytes, and I’m your state auditor.” She fishes around in her purse, undisturbed by Yvie’s tightening glance as she scans over her employees. “And you’ve just made my job exceptionally easy.” Finding her notebook, she scans the room, recording something with a scowl before closing it up and placing it on the reception desk before Scarlet can even raise her finger in protest.

Yvie rings her hands out, fears confirmed. A’keria catches the look, and mutters her own, “Ugh, Jesus.”

“Now I was told that your conference room is the only free one within city hall, therefore it will become my office for my tenure. So I expect my office to be cleaned and sanitized.” She throws her briefcase and purse down on Scarlet’s desk, the jacket soon following, Vanjie’s gaze following the jacket and back to the woman. Again, trying to maintain her irritation.

“I would also like the department’s financial statements stacked neatly on my desk.” Brooke eyes A’keria, her confusion over where they could possibly be evident in her squinting, sideways glance.

When the office finally reaches silence, caused by Yvie and A’keria’s worried glances and increasingly raised brow at the thought of the financial statements, the two of them both acutely aware of how quickly the department was sinking into something between quicksand and shit. Shitsand.

The rest simply studied Brooke. The pressed white button down and cigarette pants. The creaseless leather pumps. The unflinching gaze.  

Of course, Vanjie breaks it.

“Uh, what’s an auditor?”

It’s ghost quiet as Yvie, from behind Brooke, drags her finger across her neck, shaking her head furiously.

Scarlet drags her foot across the cracked peach tile. “Well, an auditor is a—”

“Budget slasher,” A’keria interjects. She closes her eyes and inhales, hoping that someone will answer her prayers and make Brooke get out, and if not, will get A’keria out of here.

“Clean it. Now,” Brooke grits out before adjusting her shirt, picking an invisible piece of lint off of her and flicking it to the ground ceremoniously. “Director?”

Brooke pivots and heads straight for Yvie’s office, letting Yvie know that again, Brooke isn’t asking questions, though her intonation would suggest otherwise. Yvie follows. Brooke slams the door behind them, sits on the edge of the chair in front of Yvie’s desk, and waves her hand behind her aimlessly.

Yvie closes the blinds, leaving the team with a shaky thumbs up and a dorky smile as their only solace.

Somehow, this day of government work would be longer than all the others.

[evolutionsvoid]

Pearl Flies are a species of insect that are found in dark caves and hidden caverns. Measuring over a foot in length, these big bugs often catch the attention of those who spelunk these habitats. To those fearful of insects, it may be a terrifying sight. Over a dozen of these large insects skittering amongst the rocks and fungi, along with those that buzz through the damp air. For others, like myself, they are dazzling to behold. Their bright colors and shiny carapaces are quite beautiful, with some saying that they are coated in treasure. This brilliant display is why they are called "Pearl Flies" as their bodies are covered in sparkling pearl-colored bumps. So pretty is their exoskeleton, that it is said that these insects are the truth behind tales of buried treasure and hidden gold mines. Those who glimpse a metallic flash of gold and pearl, right before it vanishes into the dark. Another interesting feature of these creatures is the dimorphism between the males and females. The males are winged and built for an aerial lifestyle, while the females stick to the ground on long stilt-like legs. The large wings and streamlined body makes the males perfect for acrobatic flight and dizzying speeds, which plays into their life role. The females, however, have sticky clawed feet that allow them to climb any surface and deal with any terrain. These different forms are important for their daily lives and life cycle, but it is hard to explain that unless I introduce the other major player in this system. While they can be found in any damp dark place, they really only thrive in caves that are already inhabited. The real key to their success is the presence of a Pterorcus, the Great Bat of the Savanna! While many creatures fear this huge aerial predator, the Pearl Flies have developed a unique relationship with it. Rather than flee from these huge bats, they are eager to be in their presence, as the Pterorcus is the bringer of food. The large amounts of dung, or guano, that the Pterorcus produces is the main staple of the Pearl Flies' diet, especially the females. Rich in nutrients, they use their sponge-like mouth parts to break down and suck up this muck. This dung also serves as the perfect breeding ground, as it ensures a rich food source for the larvae that hatch. Female Pearl Flies will lay dozens if not hundreds of eggs in the guano then watch over them as they hatch. When the young start to eat through the nearby supply, she will even roll fresh piles over to the larvae so that they can keep eating. Now you may notice that I have focused on the female for this dung-based diet, so what of the male? While the male can feed on the guano, they seek a fresher meal. Their cutting and sucking mouth parts are better used on flesh, which they could hunt on their own, but why bother? When you are roommates with an apex predator, you turn to them when it comes to hunting. When a Pterorcus starts to leave its nest for a nighttime hunt, the male Pearl Flies will latch onto its back and hitch a ride. They will be taken out of the cave and up into the sky, where they will drop off and begin their task. The massive size of the Pterorcus is no good for choked jungles and thick vegetation, so Pearl Flies dive in instead. Using their speed and agility, they will zip through the underbrush in search of resting prey. When a sleeping herd is found, they will use their enlarged tymbals to cause a ruckus. Mimicking the sounds of predators and danger, they will zoom around the group and make it seem like they are under attack. In a panic, the animals will start to flee and that is precisely what they want. Using sound and sharp claws, they steer the stampede toward a clearing, where the Pterorcus will be waiting. Once the panicking herd emerges into the open savanna, the Pearl Flies will begin the second phase. Coordinating in a group, they will target a vulnerable individual and try to separate them from the herd. Loud noises and sharp jabs will get them to split away from the others and become exposed to the Pterorcus' talons. When they succeed in isolating the victim, they will bombard it with sharp buzzing calls. These sounds don't harm the prey in any way, but they do ring loud and clear for the Pterorcus. Turns out that these calls are meant to signal the huge bat and help it hone in on the fleeing prey. They practically shine a spotlight on the victim, making it easy for the Pterorcus to swoop in and pick it off.

Once the Pearl Flies have flushed out the prey and presented a meal, the Pterorcus will have an easy kill. It doesn't take long to take down the unfortunate beast and then dinner is served! While the huge bat does devour a large amount of meat, the Pearl Flies will get their share of the meal. Using their mouth parts, they will slice flesh from bone and break down soft tissue. They easily eat the parts the Pterorcus throws aside, finding morsels on every discarded bit. They will eat their fill and then gather up as much scraps as they can carry. Eventually the bat will move to depart, and they shall hop back on. Flying back to the cavern, the males will once again drop off the Pterorcus and zip down to the dung-covered floor below. They will meet up with the females and secrete gobs of digested food from their abdomens, sharing their prize from the night's hunt. Once they have left a deposit for the ladies down below, the males will retreat back upwards and dine on their carried leftovers. This ensures that they still get a full meal from the hunt! So with this symbiosis, the Pearl Flies get a large source of food from both hunted prey and guano. They also receive protection from predators, as very few dare to venture into the lair of the Pterorcus. One can see what the Pearl Flies get out of the deal, but what of the Pterorcus? The most obvious answer is the aid in hunting. With the help of the Pearl Flies, assisted Pterorcus have a higher rate of success compared to those that hunt solo. It also gives them a wider hunting range, as they can prey on those that hide in cramped spaces. More food means a better chance at securing a mate and raising a litter, so that is an excellent boon! The female Pearl Flies also help these bats out, though their benefit is found at home. Vigilant over their eggs, the female Pearl Flies are quite sensitive to sound, smell and vibrations. They constantly patrol the cave floor to watch their young and ensure no predator is sneaking up. When a foe is detected, they let out a high-pitched buzz to alert the colony. This shrill call will also wake any roosting Pterorcus, warning them of danger. While these bats sleep, their senses are dulled, so the females make up for it by serving as a warning system. This is especially useful for when there are pups, as they are vulnerable to smaller dangers that the Pearl Flies can detect. People who try to sneak into these caves to collect guano or hunt a slumbering Pterorcus must be wary of these watchful flies. The slightest noise will alert them, and stepping on one of their young will release a pheromone that will drive them wild. Though they are around a foot long, their claws are sharp and their mouth parts secrete a digestive enzyme, making them quite unpleasant when they latch on. Not to mention the large bat that will be awakened, who absolutely hates intruders. The Pearl Flies may also help with grooming, eating any parasites or pests that may try to attach themselves to the Pterorcus. So with the payment of food, these flies provide hunting help, home security and cleaning services! What a deal! In comparison to the great Pterorcus, these little guys don't seem like much. However, their pearl-like growths and pretty shells make them popular for decoration and jewelry, though you may have to wash that guano smell out of them! Eating them is not really a thing, as their diet makes their meat quite nasty! Due to their fascinating relationship with the Pterorcus, there are some groups out there that wonder if they could get the Pearl Flies to do the same with them. A hunting team like that would be invaluable, and the fact they feed on dung would make them easy to care for. Certain tribes and folk have tried to secure a group of Pearl Flies for raising, though the results aren't quite in yet. There sounds like there are some wrinkles to still iron out, though some hunts have been completed with them. I believe that they have a good chance at figuring something out, as these are the same people who have gotten Savanna Devils to work as hunting dogs. They are incredibly resourceful and quite clever, so maybe they can strike harmony with the Pearl Flies and gain a cunning ally. I already told them that when they finally figure it all out that they should write me. I will be on the first ship out so that I can see one of these hunts for myself!   Chlora Myron Dryad Natural Historian   ------------------------------------- An entry for the Pearl Flies that were featured the Pterorcus. These guys were originally going to be insects that used sound to disorient predators, then I found a more interesting way to use it.  

[sage-nebula]

Game Review — Best Friend Forever

Ever since playing (and enjoying) Mystic Messenger, I’ve had a casual interest in dating sims, and particularly those that allow for queer relationships. And as someone who has had and loved dogs my entire life, I have a marked interest in dog raising and training. So of course, a game that is at once a queer dating sim and a dog raising sim should be right up my alley. What could possibly go wrong with this?

Overall Score: 3/10

A lot. A lot can go wrong with this. I can’t remember a game that has disappointed me this badly in recent memory, one that feels almost like a betrayal because it sounded like it was tailor made for me and I’d been looking forward to it since the initial announcement, only to be met with what honestly feels like an incomplete mess. If given more time, it’s possible this game could have been good. As it stands now, it is absolutely not. More details under the cut, and as always, view it on my blog for better looking formatting.

The Pros:

Obviously, first and foremost, that it’s a queer dating sim. You don’t have to be in a queer relationship if you play, of course, but the option is absolutely there with every single one of the romance options being available to you regardless of gender (similar to Stardew Valley in that regard, though Stardew Valley isn’t a dating sim, but rather just has a romance element). There is other queer representation as well, with at least one of the romantic options being a trans guy (who is actually the one I dated, though I can’t remember his name off-hand), and another two characters being bi considering they once dated each other and will date you regardless of your pronouns. You can choose gender-neutral pronouns, and as far as other representation goes, at least one of the characters is blind as well. So representation-wise, this game does well, and I will give it credit for that.

The art is very cute. The dogs are cute, the characters stand out from one another and have clear differences, the colors are nice and everything is drawn very well. Since the entire concept of the game is cute (move to an idyllic dog loving town and fall in love while raising a dog!) it stands to reason that the art would be as well.

The Neutrals:

The dialogue is okay. At times it felt like they were trying to hard to make the characters sound like Today’s Youth, which would absolutely age the game in just a couple years if the game had any lasting power at all (which I highly doubt it does). There were times when I enjoyed it, but other times where I cringed a little.

The music is also okay. Nothing memorable, but it fit the setting well enough.

The dog events during play did a decent job of making the dog feel involved, but at times were a bit distracting and not always intuitive (for instance, having to hold A to pet rather than pressing it repeatedly like I thought at first, which can lead to your dog being depressed).

The Cons:

There is so little character customization there might as well not be any at all. You can pick between three designs which cannot have their features changed at all. Three. You can’t even do simple things like change hair color, skin tone, or clothing options. This is a $20+ game and it has less customization than a free picrew. I could understand if your character had to be very involved, action-wise, but they’re not! They just stand off to the left side constantly and have very small changes in facial expression. The severe lack of customization was extremely disappointing.

But you know what’s even more disappointing? Having a game where a key component is raising a dog and then only having FOUR DOGS to choose between. FOUR. Three very specific breeds, and then a “mutt” (come on, you can’t even call it a mixed-breed?). Dogs are a huge part of this game; if we can’t customize because the idea is to adopt a dog, why can’t we at least have a bigger selection to choose from? The reason in-game is that you get to the adoption shelter late, but that’s a narrative excuse created to cover for a lack of development. It doesn’t excuse it, and it was disappointing.

Despite each dog having quirky little story cards you can read when you’re adopting, as far as I can tell the dog’s stated personality has absolutely no bearing on what the experience raising them is like. For instance, I adopted the mixed-breed, who I believe was said to have been abandoned and therefore very mistrustful of humans. But I had no trouble raising the Trust stat at all; I had the dog trusting me completely in less than a day. If you’re going to bother adding things in like “this dog was abandoned” and “this dog was rescued from an abused home,” then you should at least put in the effort to make that affect the dog’s stats so that, again, players can experience something a bit different depending on the choice they make.

Speaking of the choice they make, at the beginning of the game your character signs up for a dating app and they have to answer all these questions about themselves. Near as I can tell, these questions also have no bearing on anything whatsoever because you meet and can date any of the love interests you choose. So while it’s a cutesy idea, it’s ultimately a complete waste of time that could have instead been put into developing other aspects of the game.

Back to the dog aspect: part of the “story” (if it can be called that) is that the shelter requires every adopter to go through mandatory dog training and check-ins before they let you keep the dog. (Which . . . is not at all true to life, but whatever.) As a result, during the week you train your dog in various activities to raise their stats. Multiple issues with this:

You don’t actually train your dog. Like there aren’t minigames or anything. Instead, you select which activity you’d like to do each day, and then the week automatically runs through them and you get little blurbs on how the dog did (which always say the same thing for every activity) and which stats were raised. That’s it. You don’t actually get to do these things with the dog at all.

Near as I can tell, there is no way to get a good score on the check-ins. Even though I would raise my dog’s stats by several levels every time, I got bronze medals in every category at every check-in and a ribbon for “barely trying” even though I WAS trying, and even did all the extra activities each week as well. I looked online and others had this same problem, so it seems to me that the entire dog training aspect is rigged, and you fail no matter what you do, which again, really isn’t good game design. (That said, you get to keep the dog regardless, so it really is just an entirely pointless and time wasting aspect of the game.)

There really isn’t a story. Or well, there kind of is, but it’s a very bare bones one. Here’s the story: Your character used to work for a mega corporation but decided to quit because said corporation was Evil. You move to this dog town because you like dogs and you’re an aspiring photographer. During your time there you adopt a dog, get a love interest, hold a photography exhibit after doing one (1) sort-of job, and that’s it. There are a few events that trigger depending on which love interest route you’re going for, but there are never stakes at any point (because you’re never actually in danger of losing your dog, and even when your camera is stolen the lady who hired you for the exhibit just gives you a free replacement right away immediately), and I would argue there’s not a climax, either. It’s pretty much boring from start to finish, but that said . . .

Start to finish is a grand total of two hours! For a game that was $20+!! As I’ve expressed in other reviews, my basic rule of thumb is that I should get one hour of gameplay for every dollar spent. I am somewhat flexible on this—I can give leeway depending on the game and how much I enjoyed it—but charging twenty dollars and up for a game that lasts only two hours is an absolute rip-off in my eyes. To be fair, I didn’t play any of the other romantic routes to see those cutscenes, but the overall story would be the exact same no matter which you chose (unlike in Mystic Messenger, where it changes pretty significantly depending on which route you choose), so I honestly don’t see a point to it. It doesn’t feel worth it to me, at all.

Speaking of the different routes, while the characters have unique designs and seem interesting enough on their own, I don’t think their stories have any real depth. For instance, with the one I played (and again, can’t remember his name, sorry—though I do remember that his dog is an Italian greyhound named Marshmallow), he has a small story about how his family kicked him out when he came out as trans, he traveled around, met his roommates and formed a found family with them. One roommate, who is also this guy’s ex-boyfriend, is moving away soon and is annoyed that the love interest character is spending so much time with the cute neighbor (they live in the same apartment building), as well as the fact that the love interest is allowing his parents to contact him bit by bit. Now, this could be interesting . . . but it’s never resolved. Ever. They fight and that’s the last we see of the roommate, or hear about the situation at all. I haven’t played the other routes, but given the length of the game I assume it would be the same way; they would talk about past conflict but that’s it, you don’t get any real resolution or get to see how that story plays out. It contributes to the game feeling very unfinished, like there were ideas here but the developers lost steam halfway through and decided to just end it.

And speaking of not caring about finishing or polishing things, this game is absolutely riddled with typos. Now, I don’t want to be too mean, and I know this isn’t a AAA game. But if you’re going to release a game on the Nintendo eShop, and if you’re going to charge over $20 for it, then I feel like you should at least do the bare minimum of quality control and check for spelling and grammar. But that wasn’t done, to an extent that was noticeable. Additionally, there wasn’t quality control done to make sure that dialogue fit the route you were on. After the camera is stolen, the love interest I chose is there to comfort the main character and tell them he’ll help out. Then the next day he’s like, “I heard what happened, that sucks” as if he . . . wasn’t there. That dialogue was clearly meant for if he wasn’t the love interest, but it still played on the route where he was. This is something quality control should have caught, but since this game appears to not have any quality control whatsoever, it wasn’t.

I probably should have mentioned this above, but I just remembered—during the character creation process, there doesn’t seem to be an option to go back if you change your mind about which avatar you want, what you named your character, etc. Or at least, if there was, I couldn’t find it even by pressing the standard buttons such as B or Y. Instead, I had to restart the game about three times. Again, a simple design feature that should have been included, but wasn’t for some odd reason.

They hired voice actors, but the only real voice acting is the very annoying (and somewhat cringy) radio broadcast at the very beginning of the game. Voice actors can be expensive, so I can understand not having the whole game be voiced . . . but why hire them at all, in that case? Not all games need voice acting. This game doesn’t, but it’s odd to open the game as if you’re going to have everything be voiced when it ends up very clearly not. Not a huge deal, but on top of everything else, it bugged me.

Honestly, there’s probably more that irritated me, but it’s been a week and some change since I played, so this is all I remember right now. Suffice it to say that this game, which should have been right up my alley as a gender non-conforming queer woman who loves dogs, is one of the biggest disappointments I’ve experienced in gaming in a while. There were some good ideas here, but the execution was absolutely abysmal and I don’t recommend this game to anyone, especially not for the current price. There are much better games out there. Go play those instead.

[puppyluver256]

Underworld Ultimatum: The Quest for the Hottest Hades

So I mentioned in a previous big text post that I have some Very Strong Opinions on the interpretation of Greek god Hades shown in Disney’s Hercules film, and now I’m gonna talk about those opinions dammit! But let’s make it a little interesting. I always believe that if you can’t say something nice you shouldn’t say anything at all, so I’m also going to use this as an opportunity to talk about a Hades that I do enjoy. It’s a competition, babey! The Underworld Ultimatum! Or, if you’re preferring to reference a property one of these guys is in, the Hades Cup! (though to be fair this is less of a true competition and more of me showing why I like one and not the other)

First off, it’s the guy who inspired this, give it up foooor...

Disney’s Hades!

First of all, the guy’s design might’ve seemed cool back in the day, but looking back on him he’s kinda bland. Grey toga with accents of other greys, blue deathly pallor, nasty teeth... The flame hair is a pretty good concept, but considering the ancient Greek idea of the underworld probably wasn’t fire-themed I don’t know if it was an appropriate choice.  ❌

Speaking of that flame hair, he commits the crime of “blue fire is totally cooler than red fire you guys what is physics?” nonsense. Anyone who puts even the tiniest bit of research in knows that, disregarding chemical compounds that affect flame color, blue flames are hotter than red/orange/yellow flames. Yeah, from an artistic perspective it seems counterintuitive, and blue flames work better with his standard palette, but even with that in consideration they couldn’t’ve made it so his flames turned white when he got angry rather than orange? Lazy... ❌

This is a problem with the Hercules film overall, but this feels like a christianized take on the ancient Grecian pantheon, with a much less horny Zeus in the place of the christian god and Hercules as sort of a Jesus figure. In line with this, Hades is portrayed as an equivalent to Satan and thus is shown to be undeniably evil. This is inaccurate to the actual mythology of Hades, where (and someone with a better scope of Greek mythology can either back me up or refute me on this) he was just a dude who ran the underworld and had no real malicious intent. But of course, a character is themed around death, they have to be a completely irredeemable villain. ❌

AND continuing the villain thing! He ugly, at least according to western society standards and especially compared to the hero and leading lady who are conventionally attractive by those same standards. This is continuing a long Disney tradition that a villain should be ugly. He’s evil, thus he doesn’t get to visit the dentist. ❌

His goals are basically just the same as every other villain, take over the world with some big strong brutes that are locked away by a supposedly benevolent horndog. Well, specifically Olympus, but considering that’s where the gods live and his brief rule subjugates the GODS, if he’d been in the head for longer he’d basically rule the world. Boring, bland, think of something else for once. Or at least have a good reason other than “I’m the villain, world domination for me!” ❌

There’s no real satisfying tension between him as a villain and the hero! His initial direct action against Hercules happens when he’s an infant (speaking of, dude actively tries to kill an infant), and then the next direct interaction between them is like nearly 20 years later and Herc has no knowledge of who this guy is and how big of a threat he’s been this whole time. Call me crazy, but I feel a villain is more effective when the protag is aware of the threat they pose for longer than just “oh he showed up today and apparently he’s been trying to kill me since I was a baby and now he’s got my girl??? guess he’s a bad guy” ❌

Following this point, there’s no satisfying confrontation between Hades and Herc that works to finish off the conflict between them. The major battle that Herc has against him is mainly against the titans, and iirc the only thing that he does to him in the “grabbing Meg’s soul from the soul pool brb” section is punch him in the face. I don’t remember any direct action that Herc does to cause Hades to fall into his soul pool. ❌

He’s voiced by James Woods, who is a major jerk. I’m not going into detail here as this is already long-winded enough, and Google is free. ❌

He’s got Cerberus, as any good interpretation of Hades should. That’s a plus! ✅ Though this Cerberus seems to be based on the “generic mean dog breed” aesthetic, and also I hated fighting this guy in Kingdom Hearts (the original, not the final mix with updated controls, OOF), which leads me toooo...

The guy THEN proceeds to smear his presence all over nearly every Kingdom Hearts game! Like, you’re not needed! Get out! Leave some room for better Disney villains!!! ❌

So nine bads, one good, and that “good” only comes from me liking dogs.

Next up, we have a more recent contender to the Hades mythos in modern media. Showing up outta nowhere in the first entry into a classic series for 21 years, let’s bring our hands together fooooor...

Kid Icarus Uprising’s Hades!

First off...look at this man. Look at this man! Hell yeah that is my aesthetic! Look at all the chaotic colors, the wild anime-esque hair, aaaaa! Amazing design! I would ask someone to get me the name of Uprising’s character designer so I can shake their hand and tell ‘em they did a wonderful job on the Hades look, but they’re probably Japanese and I don’t know a lick of it. Maybe someone at NoA could pass on my compliments... ✅

He does have a flame head form at some point with blue flames, but it doesn’t become red to show his anger so there’s no more of a violation of physics then the rest of his insides are. ✅ And that’s the real problem I have with Disney’s Hades for this particular point, if you’re going to violate physics at least have some damn fun with it instead of just thinking that cooler fire is hotter just because it’s made of warmer colors.

While this Hades is also irredeemably evil, there’s no weird christ-washing of Greek mythology going on here, because the Japanese generally don’t do that sort of thing when throwing a bunch of other culture’s mythologies together. Sure, Kid Icarus includes a lot of Greek mythology elements (Medusa, Thanatos, Pandora, arguably Palutena being based on Athena, among others), but it also incorporates a lot of original elements, such as the Forces of Nature who are not based on any specific Greek gods, the Chaos Kin, the Aurum, freaking space pirates?! And in regards to the Aurum, this Hades is able to put differences aside in order to help the other factions around at the time defeat the Aurum so there’s that! ...though he’s not exactly the best team player, hehehe... ✅

While he does show up out of nowhere after the defeat of the initially perceived villain, Medusa, once he debuts Hades is a constant presence. He’s almost always poking his head into the dialogue to taunt Pit, make some quip or joke, flirt with a female character, give a dastardly threat. Everyone’s always aware of exactly what kind of threat he poses! Good villain writing! ✅

But yeah, speaking of that, he does do the whole “initial villain wasn’t the real villain SURPRISE BITCH” thing that I’m not that fond of. Call it lingering resentment from Twilight Princess where Zant was basically thrown away in favor of bringing Ganondorf back. ❌

This Hades also doesn’t seem to have a Cerberus. Twinbellows is a Thing, yes, but they never show up in the same instance in time. The real Twinbellows is dealt with in the first chapter of Uprising, and the fake version of Twinbellows that shows up in chapter 9 is dealt with LONG before Hades reveals himself. ❌

His goal is to use the souls of everyone and everything that’s died to increase the ranks of his army and in the process throw off the natural order of things, which honestly makes sense as a goal for a malevolent death god. It’s helped by the fact that there’s really no one “good” faction in this game, everyone has their own self interests and Palutena’s just the one that’s most kind to humanity and Pit, who is the protag we experience the game’s events through and thus passes on a little of his bias. ✅

Oh, you want satisfying hero/villain confrontation? The boss battle against him takes up a whole chapter and oooohhhh boy is it a good’un. Do yourself a favor and look up the battle on YouTube, or to avoid a lot of spoilers and gain a lot of context, do yourself an even bigger favor and look up Chuggaconroy’s whole Uprising playthrough. The man goes into detail about everything of this game, not just its characters and basic gameplay. ✅

He eats Pit at one point, and then that whole chapter takes place in his innards. Ew. Gross. ❌

He’s voiced by S. Scott Bollock in the English dub and Hōchū Ōtsuka in the Japanese original. I don’t know whether either of ‘em are jerks, but I doubt they’re as bad as James Woods soooooo... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Setting aside cameos like being a spirit in Smash Ultimate, this Hades has only had a significant appearance in a single piece of media. Even though it’s a tad bittersweet, he doesn’t overstay his welcome, unlike another Hades. ✅

That’s 7 goods, 3 bads, and a shrug. The winner is clear! KI Hades is the victor! Or at least it’s obvious that I prefer him over the Disney version. Rant over, thanks for sticking through my ramblin’ goofballery. It was fun at least, right? I had fun. :D

[twohearts-hs]

‘A Small Phone Call ( lV ) - Harry Styles Divorce Series

Words: 2,029

Pairing: Harry Styles & (Y/N) (Y/L/N)

Warnings: swearing, slight mention of abortion and stillbirth

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

She looked down, anxiety creeping on her. He found out. Harry found out and here he is, angry and mad at her. She didn’t need this, not now, not ever. Y/N recently just got herself together, got her shit together, got her life together, and he decided to show up all beautiful, and angry and fuck everything up.

“Who told you?” she said, the first thing that came out of those pretty lips.

“We don’t keep secrets, Y/N.” Harry told her, pacing the hallway and ignoring her question, “We’re a team. We may be divorced, but we know one another. We understand each other. We. Don’t. Keep. Secrets.” he said, spitting each word out at her. She stood, holding the door open still, watching him having a mental breakdown in her hallway. 

“Can you come in, and yell inside my flat? I have neighbours.” Harry mumbled a ‘fine’ and walked in.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” he asked quietly, he couldn’t even look her in the eyes.

Y/N stayed quiet, letting him yell and scream at her. This wasn’t the first time. This was actually one of the first red flags. Harry didn’t treat her with respect anymore. He saw her as his wife, that was it; as a sort of property. A tear fell down her cheek.

“For fuck’s sake, Y/N, you’re crying! I should be the one crying, me!” she looked up, and instantly knew...he was drinking.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, wiping the tear off her cheek. Harry looked at her, and all of sudden felt a sort of guilt. 

“Come here,” he said, grabbing her and pulling her in a hug. She started to cry, and cry and cry.

“How far along are you?” Y/N pulled away, looking at Harry who placed his thumbs under her eyes and wiped the tears away. 

“Eighteen weeks,” Harry’s actions stopped for a moment, looking at her with wide eyes. 

“How long have you known?” 

“Morning of the signing of the papers.” Harry grabbed her by the cheeks and kissed her on the forehead. Y/N just broke down, fully and completely. 

Y/N was the first to pull away. She looked around the room, and began walking away; quickly moving the hair in her face.

“So, you now know the truth, and it’s late,” Harry nodded, standing awkwardly, “plus you’re drunk.” she looked down, noticing the very large space between them, “so, um, leave...please?” she asked in more of a question. 

She didn’t like Harry here, she didn’t. It didn’t feel good, but she needed to be strong for her baby. Harry nodded furiously, mumbling a ‘yeah’.

“Y/N, I want to go to the next appointment,” Harry asked standing by the door. She nodded, starting to walk around the room, looking for a particular item. 

“Here,” she gave him a piece of paper. Harry turned it over and almost choked on his sob. “It’s from a few weeks ago. I am really behind with all the tests, as I didn’t catch my pregnancy till sixteen weeks. But, my next appointment is in a few days.” Harry nodded.

“Can I keep this?” Y/N nodded, as she watched Harry pull out his phone, “When’s the date for the next appointment.” 

Y/N stood there awkwardly, “Tuesday.” Harry opened his calendar and looked up with a guilty look.

“I’m in L.A.” Y/N stood quiet, “Can you move it?” 

He was doing it again, job coming first, him coming first. 

“I’m sorry, Harry. I can’t, I’m already very behind with all the tests as I caught my pregnancy quite late.” 

“Please, Y/N. I need to be there.”

“Then come to the next appointment.” Harry started to grow angry.

“You don’t understand, Y/N. I need to be there, we don’t want to repeat what happened with—”

“Harry.” she snapped, “We won’t repeat what happened with Tate, with these tests, that I can’t miss.” Harry started to pacing, running his fingers through his hair, the alcohol still in his system, creating his temper to get higher. She knew about his temper, and after all these years, she still doesn’t know how to calm it down.

~~~~~

Tate. The name was written on her hip in cursive. But, she tried not to remember it. It was a year ago, it was simple times. She was happy, as was he. They were happy unlike now. But, soon that happiness faded and started causing problems for them.

Y/N got pregnant after a year of trying, and her and Harry were stoked to have a baby after so long. But, though she holds onto the painful times of the hospital and depression, she doesn’t remember how happy she was before that. The day she found out about the pregnancy, telling Harry, and the first appointment. Yet, through the love that they showed him, and the stellar health record she held, he was born through c-section at seven months, coming out as a stillbirth.

She blamed herself for months, and months, and it created a toll on the couple. Harry mourned with her for the first few months, but eventually decided to move on, but hold onto his remembrance day by day.

Y/N was a different story, she sat in the nursery, staring at the window. She did that for months, she stopped working and had no motivation. Therefore, accepting this pregnancy was hard to begin with. She didn’t want to replace Tate.

~~~~~

“I’ll cancel L.A.” he reasoned.

“You’ll regret that, and we will have a fight, blaming it all on me.” she leaned against the counter.

“Give me the clinics number and I’ll pull some strings,” he mumbled. He didn’t get it, he never gets it. Y/N took a deep breath, collecting her thoughts.

“I’m not your wife anymore, Harry. I am a fucking independent woman, who doesn’t need her ex-husband to say who he is and to flirt with the front desk lady to get what he wants. Grow up and accept things around you. Now, you can come on Tuesday or you can go to L.A. because I bet you that you have so many great ideas for songs after what I did to you, and what we’ve been through. So, for the love of baby Jesus, I will not ask you again. It is almost twelve a.m., I have work tomorrow, and I am eighteen weeks pregnant, so get out of my fucking house. And, take your drunk ass with you, because you drunk is a big no-no for me, as you’re a huge dick. The door welcomes you.” she said, walking to the door of her flat and opening it. 

“Bye!” she said with a grin on her face, and she closed the door, taking a deep breath. 

No matter how much effort she puts in to get rid of him and forget him is ridiculous, as he never leaves. She can’t have him around her for a long period of time, there is too much pain for her to bare. Too many bad memories. 

“He knows, and he’ll never leave,” she whispered, as a tear fell down her cheek.

~~~~~~

The clinic smelled like disinfectant, which was not very pleasing for her. It gave her a wave of nausea, and the constant ringing of the phone was giving her a headache. This was not her place. It wasn’t a safe place for her either. Her leg began bouncing up and down, and her hand began trembling. Last time Mylène came with her, this time she is by herself, as she was on a business trip. She watched the stream of people walking back and forth and the very pregnant ladies around her.

She looked to her left, seeing a teenager - roughly around seventeen - with her mother, and a boy around the girl’s age too. Y/N felt sorry for them, she knew what was about to happen, but she didn’t want to accept it. Especially someone who went through so much to have a baby.

Her leg kept bouncing and her hand shaking, until she felt a large hand on her leg, catching her attention.

“I know your fear of hospitals. Recite twelve different dog breeds, and take deep breaths.” he looked perfect. He always did. Always have been amazing at presenting himself, while she looked like a crazy person with anxiety. 

“I thought you were in L.A.” he nodded, looking at her.

“I moved L.A., you two come first,” he said, taking the courage to place his hand on her small swollen stomach; Y/N flinched a bit, not use to that level of intimacy. ‘Right’ she thought, ‘of course I come first...since when?’, she just smiled.

“I didn’t tell you what clinic I would be at. You know how stalker like that is, you just show up?” Harry laughed, she smiled a bit.

“I had to bribe Niall with a dozen bottles of beer and a really expensive whiskey to tell me.” she laughed but was caught off by the nurse.

“Y/L/N, Y/N?” she stood up, Harry following her. 

~~~~~

The door closed behind them, as Y/N stood in the room. Harry stood there, not knowing where to go. She has been here a few times, about to get an ultrasound, therefore she knows the Shazam. 

She sat on the bed, lying back down, and looking towards Harry; silently chuckling.

“You look so lost, H. Sit next to me.” Harry quickly nodded, heading to the chair to the right of her. 

“Hey, Y/N! So, how are you and Biscuit?” Dr Wilkinson came in. Harry looked confused.

“Hey, very good. I think we’re going pretty well.” Dr Wilkinson stopped in her tracks seeing Harry.

“That sounds great, and who is here today?” Dr Wilkinson was Y/N’s OBGYN when she was pregnant with her first pregnancy, yet Harry failed constantly to be at the appointments, as he was continuously away.

“Harry...he’s my baby daddy.” she laughed, handing out her hand. Harry took it and shook it.

“So, you declined last time to find out the gender,” she sat on the stool next to Y/N, as she wrote down something, “Are you ready?”

“It is up to Harry, but I am ok now. Biscuit is finally real to me. I’m having a baby, Dr Wilkinson.” she said the last part with a lace of excitement in her voice.

“Right you are, hun,” she said patting her shoulder.

“Y/N, can we wait till the baby is born to know the gender?” Harry asked, looking at her.

“There’s your answer, Wilkinson.” Y/N said.

Y/N pushed her t-shirt up her stomach, reviewing a bump. Harry took a short breath and just stared. 

Dr Wilkinson placed the gel on her stomach, as Y/N sucked in a breath. Harry quickly moved his hand to hold her hand, rubbing it.

“There’s your baby, and Biscuit is very healthy.”

“Why Biscuit?” Harry mumbled, pulling her hand to his mouth and kissing it.

“It was the first thing I craved...biscuits with pesto sauce, believe or not.” Harry smiled, his lips still attached to her hand. 

Y/N looked up at the scan and watched her baby. It was her baby. Something clicked within her, and she pulled her hand away from Harry, abruptly. She is going to do anything to keep this baby safe. She’ll protect them till the end of her days.

“Can you print some pictures?” Harry asked. 

This baby is hers, and she doesn’t want to share anymore. Maybe it’s time for World War ll with them, the first was the divorce, now its the second. Biscuit is her’s, and she was going to sign on it.

[wilderun]

What happened to Pack West Wolfdog Rescue and the animals that died and the scams? I'd hate for it to be true from the little I saw online, because I had a ton of faith in them. They seemed so legitimate to me, but I really am not that knowledgeable on how rescues run.

What you saw was 100% correct. I’m going to copy/paste Sara Movahedi (rescue coordinator at In Harmony With Nature)’s post that she made here, because it’s too long to go into on my own. Sara may be somewhat of a polarizing figure in the wolfdog community, but she is honest and fair. Everything she has brought into the light about Pack West is fact, unfortunately. And more is coming out beyond even this. 

“A few months ago, I was asked by a friend to join the board of Packwest Rescue to assist them with some minor admin hiccups they were having. I had been aware of some of the issues surrounding PW for some time, but was hopeful that they would sort things out and carry on doing what they do. Upon teaming up with them, I made some discoveries that left me rather stunned, shocked, disgusted, and disheartened. I will list a few of them in this post, as the public (specifically wdc people) have a right to know what transpired, and the members of Packwest won’t be able to live in the light, until they can come out of the darkness.

The other reason I’m posting this is to highlight what can/will happen when well-intentioned people take on more than they can handle, and more than they are qualified for, by starting something like a rescue, without first building the basic foundation to support it down the line. It seems every time I turn around lately, someone says they’re starting a rescue or opening a sanctuary… And it never fails, every time I see or hear it, I shudder and think about Packwest… how things went so horribly wrong, so incredibly fast. 

Please let this rescue’s experience be a lesson for you, and think before you decide to open a 501. There are laws in place, and there are penalties and punishments should those laws be broken… to say nothing of the personal loss you can expect should you be on the losing end of the deal. Your homes, your vehicles, your bank accounts, your ANIMALS….any asset you have is on the line should you violate the laws set forth by not only the state you live in, but by the federal government.

-Packwest agreed to take in 2 animals from a couple needing to rehome them in Nevada. Packwest charged the couple a $400 surrender fee, on top of $300+ for gas to drive to pick the animals up. The animals, Sylar (male) and Luna (female) were then transported back to Oregon.

*No self respecting rescue should EVER charge a rehoming/surrender fee. If my sanctuary did that, especially at $400 a pop, we would be rich with all the animals we have taken in. That isn’t how it works, that isn’t how rescue works, and its highly unethical.

-Upon returning to Oregon, the two board members stopped at a predetermined location in Oregon. The board president had a deposit down on a puppy from a local breeder, as she wanted an “ambassador” animal for her fledgling rescue. *This is especially difficult to understand…purchasing an animal *from a breeder* as the first act of a rescue organization.

-Upon arriving, there was allegedly a discrepancy on the remaining balance. The board member still owed $500 for the puppy, but didn’t have the funds. Since she had the $400 surrender fee and the $300 gas money the couple had given her, she used that money to cover the difference and purchased Ivar from that breeder, hours after “rescuing” Luna and Sylar.

-Sylar was sent to the home of another board member, simply as a temp foster. That board member, lived in a small rental home at the time and lacked the space and containment, and should never have taken on a foster. Her situation was further complicated when she adopted her personal wolfdog’s (Kochma’s) mother, Sorsha (later named Sadira) when the breeder decided to get rid of her animals. To make things even harder, the board member and her family welcomed a brand new baby into her home and life at the same time these animals were arriving and starting to settle in.

-Sorsha, an INTACT, VERY high content, VERY unsocial animal was first penned with her son, Kochma, also INTACT. After just a few weeks, the board member rearranged them and placed Sorsha in with her foster, Sylar. *It’s important to note that these changes in housing were all taking place at the very height of breeding season, weeks after these animals all arrived, very likely playing a big role in things happening the way they did. Shortly after being penned with Sylar, and while the board member was at the hospital with the new baby, Sorsha attacked and killed the foster, Sylar, in an attack that can only be described as brutal and vicious. The public explanation given by Packwest was that perhaps wild animals got into the enclosure and killed him.

-Approximately one week later, again at the board member’s home, her personal wolfdog, Kochma, an animal she had raised since he was a pup, suddenly killed his bonded pen mate, Alora, a lower content female, who was also intact. This is especially troubling since he had never displayed any sign of aggression, and was submissive to Alora until that day. It’s important to note, in this case, that the enclosure where Kochma and Alora were housed was in close proximity to Sorsha, where he most certainly would have seen her kill Sylar just days earlier. Again, the explanation (though not public since these weren’t rescue animals) was this was likely another wild animal. Alora had retreated into her dog house to likely tend to her wounds and/or hide from the animal she once felt so comfortable with, who now wanted to kill her… it was there that she was found the next day.

-While this isn’t directly rescue related, it’s important to know that Sorsha later went after the young daughter of that board member, ripping her arms open and trying to pull her into the enclosure. I would normally not mention this, as kids are off limits, but I’m doing so with her mother’s blessing, and to make a bigger point. It wasn’t until months later that they learned Sorsha had a history of attacking children, a history not made known to her by the breeder when she agreed to take the animal.

No responsible rescue would place more on the plate of board members, fosters, adopters, or anyone, who possibly can’t handle it. But when you’re overextended and trying to do things without a plan in place, accidents happen and people and/or the animals get hurt. Packwest should never have placed fosters with that board member, and failed them and those animals. The board member should have made it clear she could not take on additional animals as well. And as a point of fact, it’s incredibly irresponsible to not only house personal animals with new rescues, but also to do so when all personal animals are intact.

-Packwest, as of May 2017, was administratively dissolved as a result of failure to file necessary documents by January of that year. Since that time, they collectively continued to raise funds for the rescue. This is highly unethical, immoral, and illegal. The board members were not aware of the suspension status, and unaware yearly tax forms were not completed. This responsibility lies with each member, and claiming ignorance is no excuse.

-Fundraising efforts included despite them no longer being a rescue, among other things, photo shoots with one of the several “ambassador” animals listed on Packwest’s web page. Those included Tsura (owned by Tracy Hawkins) Kochma (owned by Sage Bohemia Grove) and Ivar, owned by Packwest/Sarah Bartell. This is a problem for MANY reasons, least of all being the fact that they were not a charity in good standing during some of the time these shoots were being done. Another BIG issue I pointed out to them, one I have pointed out to many people over the past year or two, is USDA guidelines governing exhibition, and what you are and aren’t allowed to do with your animals

.-I spent several days sifting through all the information and trying to process it all, and decided to ask the board members what they even wanted from this “rescue.” I was shocked to learn that NONE of them actually wanted to rescue. It seemed the bigger motivation was photography, and online education… and for at least one of them, it appeared perhaps (at least from the outside) to be money.The decision to dissolve this rescue was made at my suggestion, and all agreed. One sobering thing these ladies learned, and I’m sure each will share their personal feelings on the subject, is when you claim an ambassador animal is property of a rescue, or belongs to the rescue, or was purchased for or by the rescue…. when that rescue dissolves, that animal, regardless of who payed what for it and when, will be sold as part of the asset liquidation. When Packwest board members heard that, shit got real, REAL FAST.

-We were able to work it out where nobody lost their animals, however the board president did have to pay the rescue back for Ivar, and for the right to keep him. She also reimbursed the rescue for the $2800 raised by the public for the rescue’s truck… a vehicle deemed her private personal driver since they only did 4 rescues since their inception, 2 years earlier. To put that in perspective for you, I have done 4 rescues in the last 30 days. The money from Ivar and the truck were then donated (as part of the asset liquidation) to a legitimate 501, current and in good standing, and one the board chose privately, without any involvement or input from me.

-As far as Luna… she was being fostered by the rescue’s president, at her home, until she escaped one day while the board member was gone. She was found and posted on a local pet group, and members of the PW board were quickly contacted. At this point, I had not joined up with them yet, so I was only outside looking in. I immediately began trying to contact the board member/foster to no avail.Finally, Luna was returned to her, but by then, I had had enough. I arranged for a fellow rescue friend (who had been looking to adopt a female) to take Luna in, and made plans to have her IMMEDIATELY transferred to that persons care. Luna is currently in that home, safe and loved, and to this day, her new mom has yet to receive the first piece of paper about her. No vet records, no shot records, no nothing. Packwest’s explanation? They don’t know where any of it is.

-Over the course of 2+ years, Packwest raised and spent money without any accountability as to where that money went. NO proof of purchases exists for several big items, like the truck for example. Only certain board members were granted access to the bank account, and no receipts were kept of transactions that were done. THAT IS ILLEGAL, AND A PROBLEM WHEN YOU ARE A 501c3.I asked the board (specifically the president) on numerous occasions to remove any and all Packwest references, and make it CLEAR to people that they are no longer a charity. I also stayed on her to follow up with the states of Washington and Oregon (they were registered in BOTH) to make sure dissolution documents were completed and filed as needed. She assured me she had it taken care of. I also asked her to make a public post to let people know the rescue was no longer active, and that never came either.Recently, I was informed that she was still raising money, still selling items through the website (now slightly edited to include they are no longer taking in rescues, but conveniently leaving out the part about dissolution) and still presenting herself as a charity org. After a heated exchange (mostly on my part really) she agreed to make the necessary calls to dissolve the org officially. She edited the website further, however it still does not clearly spell out that the charity is no longer active and funds raised through the online store will no longer be going towards a 501c3 wolfdog rescue, but actually to one individual person.

I have not posted this to smear these women or further place blame on them. They have been hearing me tell them how badly they screwed up for several months… most of them get it. They know how close they came to possibly losing their animals, and possibly even facing charges.

-Forms they should have filled out to start this org, they payed someone $2,000 to do it for them.

-Forms they needed to stay active and remain in good standing, never got filled out.

-Receipts were not kept.

-Money was mishandled and misappropriated

.-Records were not kept

.-People were bitten and told to lie.

-Paperwork and vet records for rescues was not kept.

-Personal animals were intact.

-A fox was sent to an illegal state, and when a sanctuary stepped up to take it, PW attempted to charge them money as well.

-Having funding and housing and caging set up BEFORE taking in a single animal in, was NOT DONE.Logic, common sense, honesty, transparency, planning, preparation…and sadly ethics…. all went out the window.I am posting this to highlight how hard it is to do this the RIGHT way. Rescue by itself is hard… but to open and run a 501c3, and keep it running, requires organization, planning, and a dedicated and qualified BOD…NOT a group of your best friends.

 Until I joined them, they had never even held a single board meeting, and didn’t even have set jobs/assignments within the board. Board members were not informed of what their president was doing, and when they were able to communicate with her, she reassured them she had everything under control. They didn’t know they were spiraling out of control quickly.

Please take a look at where good intentions can get you. Please think before you decide you want to do this, and if you decide that you do, first work with a reputable rescue in your area and learn the inner workings of 501’s. Learn the paperwork, the boring admin stuff. My dad used to always tell me that before you build a house, you have to set the foundation. If you try to skip the foundation and move on to the fun stuff, decorating, for example, all your stuff will fall down when the walls collapse, because the foundation below them wasn’t there, or was not strong enough. That analogy is true in all things, rescue included.

It is my sincere hope that this post has accomplished 3 things: 

Highlighted just a few of the hard realities behind trying to start and run a rescue responsibly;

Highlighted the absolute and unequivocal importance of preparation, ethics, honesty and transparency, ESPECIALLY when affiliated with a 501c3 dealing with animals;

Highlighted how good intentions are about as useful as good toilet paper without the proper foundation in place.

Please do not send money to Packwest Wolfdogs under the guise that it’s a 501c3. It is NOT. Please do not contact them for animals needing rescue, and please do not refer anyone to them for help…. or education. They cannot provide either. 

Thanks for reading.“

[rival-the-rose]

also i know this is cheating but please provide your top three types of goat with explanations

LET’S DO ASKS bc i love my kay friend so much and they are so good at asking questions

ok there are. so many types of goats in the world. so many. literally hundreds. i’m narrowing this down to breeds of goats i have owned or showed bc even though there’s so many really weird/cool breeds out there that would make good trivia, these are breeds i really know and have spent time with and love. this is still hard tho lmao

3) La Mancha dairy goats

La Mancha doe, GCH Jen-Mae-KA Kids Canasta, from adga.org

LaMancha doeling, Jen-Mae-KA Kids Frankie, from adga.org

LaMancha buck,SGCH Little Orchard Pure Thrill ++*B from Sandstone Ridge Dairy Goats

(this is gonna be a long-ass post in case u did not realize, but i will keep it short as possible. also, i did absolutely zero research on anything in this post it is all from my brain. therefore it may be limited or wrong but i felt like this is a more accurate response to the question of “why do i like these things” even if those reasons might be wrong.)

LaManchas are a breed I’ve never owned, but if you told me I could never own another (spoiler for #1 on this list) Nubian then this is who I’d pick. LaManchas in the U.S. are descended primarily from goats that arrived at the Chicago World Fair in a box marked simply “La Mancha”. Presumably that’s where they were from, but apparently no one fessed up to sending them. They were popular though, because they didn’t have ears! LaManchas have distinctly-reduced pinnae, under 1″ required for bucks and desired for does, which is a mutation that has occurred in several populations but is a defining characteristic of this breed. I think the no-ears look is adorable! Other reasons I like Manchas (also known as Munchies): they are chunkier than other dairy goats (they’re almost always pudgy and i love them) and not too tall, they are not a color breed so you can have a rainbow herd, their milk doesn’t taste as bad as the Swiss breeds, and the no ears+beard look is super cute!! Reasons I might not want Manchas: having to explain that their ears are naturally like that all the time! Ppl I know who show manchas often have signs posted stating as such. Ornery ppl tell stories like “well...one winter the roads were blocked and we couldn’t get food...and i just couldn’t bring myself to eat the goats....so i....i just....ATE THEIR EARS”

goat ppl are great

2) Pygora goats

Crown Mountain Pygoras

Pygoras aren’t typically “my type” of breed; I tend to prefer landrace, less-developed, multi-purpose animals rather than new-fangled hybrid “designer” breeds. However. This is the only breed developed in my home state of Oregon (and apparently are not terribly popular outside of my state? because i had a hell of a time finding pics online that were owned by someone i didn’t know. i’m still pretty sure that i’ve at least petted most of the goats in the above picture). They were developed by a lady who wanted soft, blue-grey fiber and went about it by crossing Angora goats (big, white, coarse curls) with Pygmy goats (little, double-coated, usually grey cashmere). She made a breed that comes in 3 different coat types (A=angora, C=cashmere, B=mix (most desirable imo)) and any imaginable color combination! I love Pygora fiber a lot and the goats themselves are pretty cool. Up until 2 years ago, I thought I owned a Pygora (albeit one that had a lot of Angora in him) but then we were finally able to find his breeder (he had gone through several homes before us) and it turned out he was actually a Colored Angora. He’s still great. Pygoras are kind of assholes, combining Angora skittishness w/ Pygmy climbing ability and determination. But they can be very sweet. They beat out manchas bc i have more experience w/ Pygoras and I really like their fiber. 

and finally 

#1 Nubian (or Anglo-Nubian) dairy goats

SGCH Kastdemur’s Temerity 5*, adga.org, probably my all-time favorite individual goat in terms of conformation

Corral de la Reina’s Arcee Go Go, my actual favorite goat of all time RIP my love (and a real fuckin old pic of us)(you can see me trying to get her to pose. she is mostly cooperating bc she was a good girl but did not understand these dumb human tricks)

just bc bb goats are cute (those are all mine)

anyway! Nubians! They are a fascinating snapshot of colonialism and world politics that I don’t have the time or energy to get into and frankly I’d need to break my “no research” rule to make sure I was getting everything right. Basically, when the British invaded North Africa, one of the many things they took were these extremely long-eared spotty goats with weird noses. They took these home, possibly mixed them w/ some Indian breeds, definitely mixed them w/ some Swiss/short-eared breeds, increased milk production and introduced a body shape they liked better and that was more appropriate for a cooler climate. Nubian breed characteristics require bell-shaped ears that reach 1.5″ past the end of the muzzle and a strong Roman nose.  They can be any color, but my favorite is one called “moonspot”. You should google it. It’s autosomal complete dominant, so it was pretty easy for me to make it so that almost all of my babies have it (shhhh don’t breed for color shhhh but this one gene is so simple that there’s basically no ill effects). Nubians cycle year-round so they can have babies anytime! Technically you can even get more than one kid-crop per year but that’s kind of rough going and also no one wants to do that w/ dairy animals bc u don’t get hardly any milk! I love Nubians. You can train them like dogs, their milk is delicious and hardly different from cow’s milk in taste, they’re big but not too big, they’re colorful, they have cute ears...I love them. Some ppl claim they bellow? but I’ve never noticed them being any louder than other goats. The only other potential negative is that they melt in the rain lol. Nubians HATE getting wet and are pretty effective barometers bc of it (floppy ears racing towards the barn means raindrops’ll be falling soon!). Oh, actually, speaking of ears, a sad thing is that they really hate it when you touch them even though they are big and soft. Nubians punish each other by biting each other’s ears so when humans grab at them, it’s confusing and rude!

i love them all but i love nubians best thank you for coming to my tedtalk

[drferox]

20 Questions with Dr Ferox #23

Whelp, time for another blast of 20 questions and comments from the inbox. If you were brave enough to use your username I’ve tried to tag you (Thanks Tumblr) but if you were on anon, you’ll have to look yourself.

Would you folks be interested in me answering these sort of short questions in a video instead? Let me know in the replies. Now here we go!

Anonymous said: do u play mobile games on your phone, like animal crossing pocket camp? :O

No, should I? I haven't heard much about it.

@trisaratops45 said: Dr. Ferox, First off I just started following your blog and love it! I'm stuck using mobile so I can't see your faq information. I was just wondering if the clinic you work at sees any exotic or pocket pets? Of so what is your favorite to see and treat? Thank you!

Welcome! We don't see a huge amount of exotics at my clinic, we're not well set up for them, but ferrets are probably my favorites.

Anonymous said: do you follow any medblr blogs? and if you do, are you ever like 'thank goodness i don't have to deal with that' or 'man i wish it was that easy'? question tax: what is your favorite depiction of dragons from fantasy media

I actually had to go check which blogs I was following. No active medblr blogs in the list anyway. I often see real clients, in the flesh, and think 'Im glad i don't have to deal with that', especially when they describe to me their own gross medical problems as though I want to know exactly what's coming out of their orifices. All dragons are good dragons. I don't think i could pick a favorite.

@the-noble-banana said: What style of nail clippers are best for trimming a cat's claws?

Whatever you're comfortable with. I like these ones

Anonymous said: Do dogs get acne? Is that a thing? Just curious! Question tax: if you could shoot something out of your finger, what would it be?

They can get comedones with certain hormonal conditions (black heads) and can get pimple-like lesions with skin infections. I would shoot icy cold water out of my fingers. Great for hot days, and for stupid faces.

Anonymous said: Do you typically bandage and cover amputations? At the vet I worked at (I was only kennel so everything I saw was in passing) every animal who had limb amputation left after a day or two with the incision fully bandaged. My dog had her hind leg amputated and the vet (different one) had her in and out in under three hours and sent her home unbandage. Just out of curiosity is it case by case that you decide to bandage? Gave my mom a little heart attack seeing her all bloody and swollen

We might but a light dressing over them, but in an amputation of anything more than a toe there's often not much to bandage. Limb amputations are typically very high up the limb in dogs and cats and it's hard to bandage something in that position. Also, sometimes dogs eat the dressing.

@crimsonrose95 said: I'm not vet med, but I am into chemistry and physical sciences and the ask talking about chemistry being inconsistent is so weird a thought to me. Biology is way less consistent than chemistry like chemistry is mostly math with elements and compounds while biology is mostly names. It's just really interesting how most people start to think a science they don't like and have trouble in is just the science being completely inconsistent to them. Me included.

I get what you mean. Chemistry has a fairly distinct set of rules, even if they're rules you've not encountered outide of chemistry before. I was never a fan of physics, but it is consistent. Biology likes to bend rules. Life finds a way.

Anonymous said: Why does my cat yell when I try to use the bathroom alone? Question tax: what's your favorite thing about Australia?

Possibly he thinks you need moral support? Or that there's demons in there. My favorite thing about Australia is our universal healthcare system and gun control.

@foxtrottarts said: How common is dewclaw removal in dogs, and what are the benefits/downsides?

Hind dewclaw removal is relatively common at the time of deseing, if they're the sort that flop all over the place and lack a boney attachment. Front dewclaws are usually left, unless removed for a medical reason. I've written about it before here. https://drferox.tumblr.com/search/dewclaw

Anonymous said: Can a dog still have the MDR1 gene if they have never reacted to those drugs in the past (lets says a dog that has regular flea prevention of selemectin)

If the dog has only had a popular flea product containing selamectin but has never had ivermectin, yes they could still have it. MDR1 dogs typically don't react to that product, nor do they react to the annual heartworm injection.

Anonymous said: Hello, I had a question as google only takes me but so far, and the results were iffy at best since it's difficult to locate a vet or someone in a position who would know the answer. How much of a danger is animal or human saliva to pet birds? Some people say kissing the bird, or having another pet such as a dog lick/groom them is an issue, but I'm just lost on if any is true, and would love to find the answer. Thanks a ton in advance since it's all pretty confusing.

It is a potential issue. Carnivore saliva contains many bacterial species that can be devastating to birds or other mammals even through relatively small abrasions. Carnivores should not be permitted to interact with prey species and birds. Cats are especially risky because they're so pointy and because they effectively coat themselves in saliva when grooming. You can find some more information here.

Anonymous said: Hi Dr. Ferox, we recently had to put our cat down due to health issues. We're pretty sure he had FIP as the last week of his life he had every symptom but one. A website we saw said the virus can live in the environment for weeks afterwards and I was wondering if you knew any sort of approximate time. We aren't ready for another cat yet but occasionally foster a kitten and don't want to bring one into the house and have it get sick

I typically reccomnd 4 months, and replacing bedding, litter trays and food dishes. While you are probably fine with 3 months, given the incurable and devestating nature of FIP (Feline Infection Peritonitis) I prefer to err on the side of caution.

@kumoi-no-hikari said: I got a couple rats a few months ago and the lady I bought them from mentioned that most vets don't know much about rats and will probably do more harm than good unless the situation is extreme. Is that true? They haven't had any issues, but I'm worried about traumatizing them or wasting money if they ever have a problem.

Some vets will certainly be better equiped or more interested in treating rats than others, but you'll only know if you call around and ask them. If they're not keen on seeing rats, they might know somebody who is. I think saying 'most vets don't know X' is unfair when you look at the diversity of vets in the world. Call around, plan for the worst ahead of time.

Anonymous said: Do you know how taxidermy works? I plan this route for my cat when she's passes, do I have to contact them before the body stiffens or position her first?

No idea. But I would contact them well in advance incase they have waiting lists or something. But I would think very carefully about whether taxidermy of a pet is something you definitely want.

Anonymous said: Hey there! What’s your favorite brand of stethoscope?

The Littman is what I use and have been very happy with my Classic II.

Anonymous said:Our poodle mix loved grabbing a mouthful of food then running to the living room to eat it - not necessarily to be near us, he just would eat over carpet. Sometimes we'd rearrange the living room so it wasn't a direct shot from the dining room and he'd still run around the furniture to eat there. He also once pooped one piece on each stair when we were gone all day for some unfathomable reason.

There is so much that could be going on there, but since you didn't seem to ask a question I'm not sure what you'd like me to say.

Anonymous said: On the topic if dog eating things they shouldn't. A shitzu swallowed the end of a large chew bone whole and when she puked It up it was about the size of my fist.

Little dogs often seem to overestimate what they can safely eat. Westies seem to be the worst for this though, and are a common breed to see for stuff getting stuck in their oesophagus.

Anonymous said: About people thinking vets are scammers, my family was so bad with this when I was a child. I remember I had a sick kitten, I was around 8, it had some lung issues and I begged and cried to vet it and my dad said "pray really really really hard to God every hour, and maybe he'll bring a miracle!" and the cat died the next day :( I get so LIVID when people refuse taking their pets to vets for stuff that cannot wait. Makes me wanna slap those people senseless!

Your Dad sounds like a lazy asshole and a cheapskate. Even if god existed, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't appreciate being dialed up for a miracle like a pizza delivery.

Anonymous said: i just wanted to tell you that i recently adopted an older orange tabby cat (dsh) and he is large. like not just fat (which we are working on), but unusually tall and long. like. maine coon size. he has so far used his size to swipe bacon off a kitchen counter and remain an effective roadblock. he's very calm and sweet, i love my big fat baby.

Congratulations on your new addition! I'm sure your big orange boy loves you back too.

@mise-en--place said: Thought you might appreciate this. We got records on a cat today and on a previous visit they stated; "BCS 5/9. Cat appears to be about 7lbs through the gloves and towel." We got a good laugh, cat was actually quite calm for her visit.

I received a history for my old cat Dippa who had once very badly bitten this other vet that only said "Appears healthy in cage. Vaccinated in cage. Dr Ferox is welcome to come and perform a dental on her own cat any time she likes." I took that to mean "I'm not touching this hellbeast. You deal with her."

[getseriouser]

20 THOUGHTS: You can't bite the boys of the Bulldog breed

FUNNY that.

The Bulldogs were wooden spoon certainties and in a world of trouble, now we jump off Essendon as quickly, pardoning their victors as we do.

Collingwood wins by four goals against a lowly Carlton and now Buckley is showing something we’ve never seen before?

West Coast kick six unanswered goals in the final term when their travelling opponents had a smaller bench than an inner-city apartment’s kitchenette and they are now on the path to greatness?

Steady on.

 1.       Cricket first - in a sport that desperately could use some PR right about now - why haven't we had a female umpire a men's test match? Has it happened and no-one noticed? Or is it a glaring oversite with other men’s competitions around the world catching up? Cricket Australia needs me. James Sutherland, you have my number, give me a call.

 2.       So the Doggies. Had a significant portion of their best line-up out on Sunday and showed a bit, showed us what we think the 2016 premiers should be playing like. Round One was what it was, and yes they had a stinker to follow up, but these Dogs will be just fine, probably not a top four fancy but certainly a long way from the bottom of the ladder come the end of August.

 3.       As for their opponents, well yes, little excuse. Unlike the winners, Essendon were pretty close to rolling out their best team (Gleeson perhaps the only exception?) and yet were pummelled and lucky to have gotten so close. In that case, on Sunday, that just comes down to a bit of want and desire. Not good. But there’s always a next week so not all is lost at Tullamarine.

 4.       Hasn’t the man love come for Nic Naitanui since Sunday night. He is back, there’s no-one better in full flight, best on ground and probably a Logie, Nobel Prize and a chance to play for the showcase on Price is Right too. However, and this goes somewhat for Stef Martin who also played a ‘blinder’ on the weekend, who were they rucking against? Both Geelong and Port Adelaide did not possess a first-choice ruckman, so for Naitanui and Martin to go bananas is bare minimum. That’s what separates Max Gawn and Brodie Grundy above the others. Gawn defeated an All-Australian ruckman in Todd Goldstein, Grundy took down a pretty handy colleague in Matty Kreuzer too. So, as mentioned above, when it comes to ruckmen dominating games with no equal – steady on.

 5.       Geez the Power run it dicey with opponents they should just be taking care of. Credit to the Lions I guess but Port are so lucky. Yet, a win is a win, they didn’t stuff it up like last year when this would have gone against them, if they ride their luck and make amends, this is still a very positive platform for Ken Hinkley’s men.

 6.       This column continues to be enamoured with the Freo back six. A solid, in-form and gelling backline is the foundation of good, great sides. The combination of Joel Hamling, premiership player, the assured veteran presence of Michael Johnson and Stephen Hill, the rapidly developing Alex Pearce and Luke Ryan plus one of the recruits of the year in Nathan Wilson, that’s a very good core group. Let alone the fact their mids look great especially their captain and their forward line is functioning and dangerous alike, again, it’s all set up for success.

 7.       Friday night, gee the heat came for Jacob Weitering. Liam Jones had a few brain fades but I’m not sure why the sole focus of the attention for Carlton letting a winless team roll through for nine unanswered goals went on the former no.1 pick? How about some attention for the midfield who looked completely absent leaving the Blues’ defence with little prospects to do anything to stop the wave? Starts with the captain whose getting away with doing the best part of bugger all so far in 2018.

 8.       Their opponents, first win for the Pies, they looked alright. Throw Elliott, Fasolo and Moore with what worked Friday inside 50, the back six is improving and confidence with ball movement can grow into the season – they present ‘some’ chance to be 4-4 after eight rounds where their draw does get easier than the start. Need luck, some they need to create themselves, some the way of good fortune.

 9.       Different role for Scott Pendlebury, essentially ran with Cripps all night, now Cripps did end up with 26 but wasn’t anywhere near as influential as Round One. A big stat: no-one in the competition has tackled more so far this season than the Pies' skipper, not known for the real physical side of the game but leading by example in that way.

 10.   Gold Coast leads the tackle count after three rounds with 250, they did have 98 in Round One though in the monsoonal conditions against North who had 86 themselves and are second for that team stat as you’d expect. Third though, Collingwood, 212.

 11.   Interesting, the teams that have had been tackled the most, North and Gold Coast are high because of Round One, but number one? Carlton, averaging 77 a game where the average is 62. They are really struggling to find space. The best, no surprise, Richmond, averaging 50 a game. Dogs just behind in second best, they actually are playing ok.

 12.   Essendon are the by far the worst team for conceding uncontested possessions so far, a decent margin ahead of second worst Brisbane. That’s down to workrate and team discipline as we said before.

 13.   Last team stat, inside 50s conceded, the worst, Geelong, ahead of North, Gold Coast and Carlton. Averaging over 60 a game conceded the Cats, so once opposition get the ball, it’s too easy to transition, or turn the Cats over and get re-entry. The best, Melbourne, Port and Freo, just over 40 a game, big difference.

 14.   As for Geelong, Ablett goes down and so did their chances coincidentally. He wasn’t the sole factor but once he came off at the start of the fourth the Eagles flicked a switch and ran rampant. Almost immediately he has become their best player and just edges Dangerfield perhaps for their most important. And he ain’t no spring chicken, with an increasingly concerning knack for picking up niggles.

 15.   Sunday saw Clarko almost orchestrate another upset; they will overachieve far too often this year. The Tigers were by far the better outfit but I credit the Hawthorn coaching box and not lady luck for the fact the Hawks were in it almost all the way. Such a genius.

 16.   So the Saints are looking into Dylan Shiel. Josh Kelly stayed, so there’s nothing to suggest that Shiel might do any differently. But given the Saints ‘perception’ right now, other than monster cash – good luck.

 17.   Buddy watch, might not get a vote, only got two goals although one was just mega, but was in the best half dozen on the field easily and is on big time in 2018. Please make sure you get on.

 18.   Want to touch on big Melbourne crowds -  six crowds at the ‘G so far of approximately 55k and above with some over 80k. Three including Hawthorn, two with Collingwood, two with Richmond. A couple 40k+ at Etihad too, both Essendon games. Hawks-Dees will be good this week, two huge games next week Dees-Tigers and Pies-Dons, with those four clubs reverse the Sunday after too. People are turning up to the footy in droves, the game’s going well.

 19.   Let’s have a look at Sydney, their NRL crowds, 19 of the 37 ‘fixtures’ (they've had double headers) so far in the NRL have been in Sydney, a mix of old suburban and big stadium venues. Only two crowds over 30k, averaging 16k, other than Origin or finals not likely to get anything over 40k all year. Yes the money is in TV, but crowds are still a very important revenue source and talks to fan engagement. Yes, the Giants are still too new in a tough environment, the Swans though, two home games, both 34k, the two highest attended football games in town so far in 2018.

 20.   Conor McGregor throws a hand trolley at a bus. Connor McKenna bites Tory Dickson. If you meet an Irishman, named Connor, with a Scottish surname, back away slowly…

(originally published 10 April)

[stereksummerexchange]

By The Beautiful Sea

@idoobeg | AO3 - I had so much fun writing this!! fluff and cuteness abound! hope you enjoy it ;)

by @clotpolesonly

Stiles gets the very last scoop of salt water taffy ice cream, much to the chagrin of the gorgeous dude behind him in line. The gigantic stray dog is thrilled though, at least when Stiles gives in to the begging and lets him have half of it. The beautiful woman across the street thinks it’s all hilarious for some reason, and Scott just really needs to try this ice cream.

“Dude, you’re gonna have to come out here. Like, as soon as possible,” Stiles said with all the vehemence he could muster when his phone was slowly slipping further and further from where it was squeezed between his cheek and his shoulder, jostled by every hurried step he took. “I’m telling you, this town may be small and boring as fuck, but it’s got the best ice cream on the goddamn planet and one scoop will totally be worth a day trip out here.”

“A day trip where I’ll spend ten hours of that day driving?” Scott asked, not sounding enthused. “It’s five hours there and five hours back! Do you know how much studying I could get done in that time?”

Stiles started to roll his eyes, but he’d always been an exaggerated eye-roller so he had to abort that mission before his phone took a dive for real. His hands abandoned their quest for the wallet he couldn’t seem to grab hold of in his messenger bag in order to save the aforementioned phone. His eyes finally caught on that blessed candy-striped awning across the street and his feet automatically carried him off the sidewalk and into the path of an oncoming car, which honked at him repeatedly. Stiles didn’t even slow down, but he did offer the driver an apologetic wave as he passed in front of them.

“A weekend trip, then,” he said to Scott. “Seriously, man. Worth it. This ice cream is nirvana in a waffle cone. Your professors will understand if they have any human decency in their hearts.”

“I don’t know, bro,” Scott said with a sigh. “Summer semester is kicking my ass. It’s all the same info as the regular semester, just crammed into even fewer weeks. I really don’t know if I can afford to wast—”

The tinkle of the bell above the door was a choir of angels in Stiles’ ear. The little ice cream parlor smelled of heavenly sugary goodness and he was already drooling. He’d only found this place two days ago when he’d elected to wander the little seaside town alone instead of follow his dad out on the dinky fishing boat owned by one of his dad’s old army buddies, but even just two days had proved more than enough to get him addicted.

Midafternoon on a Tuesday in July apparently wasn’t the premium time for ice cream because the place only had a few people in it, at least compared to how busy it had been on Sunday, but Stiles still had to get in line. He bounced on the balls of his feet, leaning around the lady in front of him to peer through the glass-fronted case. He almost had a heart attack when it looked like the tub of salt water taffy ice cream was empty, but as he inched closer he saw there was a bit left in there right at the bottom.

His sigh of relief must have been audible because suddenly Scott was saying, “You’re not paying any attention to me at all, are you?”

“What?” Stiles said immediately. “Psh! Sure I am!”

“You were drooling over the ice cream and ignoring me completely.”

Stiles offered up his only excuse: “It’s really fucking delicious ice cream, Scott. Totally worth drooling over.”

The bell over the door tinkled again, competing with Scott’s groan of exasperation, and Stiles glanced over his shoulder at the newcomers. Then he had to do a double-take. He had to; people that beautiful deserved to be looked at twice.

They resembled each other closely enough that they were probably siblings, a man and a woman with the exact same flawless bone structure and piercing light eyes and glorious dark hair, though the man had an even more glorious layer of stubble to match. Both in black leather jackets and boots, they looked like they could crush him under their heels with a smile while a dramatic wind blew and cameras flashed all around.

“Speaking of things worth drooling over…” Stiles muttered, a little breathless.

“Are you talking about a person?” Scott asked immediately, proving once more that he knew Stiles far too well. “Did a hot person just walk in? Is it a guy or a girl this time?”

Stiles was about to say both, but then the beautiful be-stubbled man lifted his head and their eyes locked. Well, they didn’t really lock for long. It was more of a passing glance, honestly, but it was enough to make Stiles squeak a bit in a very embarrassing fashion and then whirl around to face the front of the line.

“I know that squeak!” Scott cried, sounding obnoxiously schadenfreudenistic. “That’s the a-hot-person-looked-at-me-and-now-I’m-blushing squeak!”

“You know what, pal?” Stiles said, just as the lady in front of him got her change and moved out of the way. “Just for that, even if you do make it out for a visit, I’m not gonna bring you here. You don’t deserve ice cream.”

He hung up on Scott’s dismayed “What? Oh, come on!” and stepped up to the counter to place his order. In accordance with his previous estimation, there was just enough of the salt water taffy flavor left for one scoop. As the server scraped the bottom of the tub, the stunningly gorgeous woman behind Stiles let out a disappointed noise.

“Aw, no!” she said. “Der, they’re out of your favorite!”

Her presumed brother—clearly named Der or some variation thereupon—didn’t say anything, but another glance over his shoulder had Stiles squeaking for an entirely different reason because the dude sort of looked furious now and he was a little bit terrifying. He obviously took his ice cream very seriously and did not appreciate having it ordered out from under him.

Since apparently he was a horrible, horrible ice cream thief, Stiles deemed it prudent to pay for his scoop and vacate the building as quickly as possible. At least the woman didn’t glare at him as he skirted around them, instead quirking her lips up into a friendly half-grin and winking at him. Stiles might have tripped over his feet at that point, but he thought stumbling was a pretty reasonable reaction when a person that attractive winked at him.

Stiles made it out of the shop without embarrassing himself any further and collapsed on the little wooden bench outside the storefront. It was hot and breezy and shaded here. The air all around him smelled like sea salt. He had nowhere he needed to be for hours. People he didn’t know smiled and waved at him as they walked past. And of course, he had icy goodness in his hand, ready to be consumed. All in all, it was a pretty beautiful setup and he wouldn’t mind getting used to it, at least for a few weeks.

The ice cream was every bit as delicious as he remembered and his moan might have been a tiny bit pornographic. He closed his eyes and leaned back, just letting the flavors settle on his tongue and linger there for as long as possible. Every taste deserved at least ten seconds of dedicated appreciation and he was determined to give them that, even though the scoop was already starting to melt and drip down the cone to make his fingers all sticky. Totally worth it.

He was maybe halfway done when he heard a distinctly canine whine. He opened his eyes to find a humongous black dog right in front of him. The thing was so big he almost dropped his precious cone out of surprise, fumbling to keep hold of it at the last second. The dog just watched him, settled on its haunches with its head cocked to the side and ears perked up. It whined again.

“Hey there…very large dog,” Stiles said cautiously. Despite its size, didn’t seem aggressive or anything. Not even when it let its tongue fall out and there were some extremely sharp teeth on display. It almost looked friendly like that. “What is it, boy? You lost or something?”

Another whine, then a yip. Stiles pulled back on instinct when the dog shuffled closer to him, large paws stepping on top of his shoes and warm fur brushing against his shins. That giant muzzle leaned in even more, nose twitching right above Stiles’ ice cream cone as he sniffed. Stiles spent a few seconds looking back and forth between his cone and those big blue puppy eyes in disbelief.

“You want my ice cream?” he asked slowly.

The dog yipped again, head moving up and down in almost seemed like a nod. Jesus, it was a big dog. It almost looked more like a wolf. Not that Stiles really knew what actual wolves looked like in person, but he was reasonably sure one of the most important differences between them and domesticated dog breeds was size. This one’s tongue was probably as long as his waffle cone was, hanging out to drip drool on the bench.

Reluctantly, Stiles tipped his cone forward, forfeiting his precious ice cream. The dog perked up considerably at the offer, fluffy tail suddenly wagging behind him, and with one sweep of that enormous tongue, the rest of the scoop was gone.

“The whole thing?” Stiles asked, dismayed. “You couldn’t just take one lick or something? It’s not like I can go in and buy another one. Not only are they all out for the day, but I also only have so much pocket money to make it through this stupid vacation. Most of it’s gonna get spent here when I come back every single day for more delicious ice cream, but it won’t be worth it if somebody steals all my ice cream before I get to enjoy it!”

The dog’s tail kept wagging, completely undeterred by Stiles’ scolding. In fact, as soon as Stiles had finished talking, it leaned in again and took half the waffle cone out of his hand with a chomp.

“Hey!”

Stiles couldn’t even be properly mad though because in the next second, there was a heavy paw in his lap and a big scratchy tongue on the side of his face. Stiles might have flailed a little tiny bit in panic at first, half expecting he was gonna go the way of the cone and have to wait for a woodsman with an axe to rescue him and granny, but then he realized that he was not being eaten. Just licked. All over. In an affectionate sort of way.

“Okay, okay! Down, boy!” He could barely get the words out through his laughter. The enormous overgrown puppy was nothing if not enthusiastic and it took some doing for Stiles to fight his way to the surface of the unexpected tongue bath he was receiving. “Jeez, it was just some ice cream. I mean, I know it was the good stuff, but I don’t know if it was worth all that.”

The dog evidently did not agree, considering he immediately set out lapping at Stiles’ fingers, the ones all sticky with melted ice cream and still holding the last of the cone.

“Is this stuff even safe for dogs?” Stiles mused. “Can dogs have taffy? Does taffy-flavored ice cream actually have any real taffy in it? You know, I’ve never actually had real taffy? That stuff seems like it would get stuck in your teeth and make a mess. It can’t be good for your dental health. I bet dentists make a killing in places like this.”

The dog stopped licking his head long enough to look up at him and tilt his head to the side, giving off a distinct air of judgment, like he thought Stiles was asking stupid questions. Or maybe Stiles was just projecting Scott’s usual reactions onto a dog because he hadn’t spent a summer apart from Scott since they were seven and he didn’t know how to function without his best friend. Either way, it made him smile.

He smiled even harder when the dog didn’t snap at him or shy away when he reached out to pet. Stiles rubbed at the top of its head, scratched behind its ears, buried his fingers in the thick ruff of dark fur around its neck. Before long the dog was leaning its whole weight against Stiles’ legs, its head resting in his lap and tail still wagging gently.

Even if being pinned down by all that fur and muscle was stupidly hot in the summer weather, Stiles was pretty content to just sit there and pet his random new dog friend for a while. He looked down the street, intending to do some quality people-watching, and caught sight of the woman from the ice cream line. She was sitting at an outdoor table for what might’ve been a cafe on the other side of the street. She was alone now, no equally intimidatingly attractive brother in sight.

And she was staring at Stiles. Well, no, probably not. Women like that did not stare at Stiles, but all girls loved dogs, didn’t they? This one had her chin propped up in her hand and a huge smile on her face, so chances were she was just really excited about the gigantic puppy that had taken up residence in Stiles’ lap. She waved when she noticed that Stiles had caught her watching him, and Stiles waved awkwardly back at her like the awkward person he was.

By the time the dog stood up, gave itself a shake, and trotted off after one more lick to Stiles’ face, the woman had disappeared too.

Read the rest on AO3

[maskydoo-old]

Nightmare Neighbors 1

(I’m writing out scripts for upcoming storytime style youtube videos, and posting what I have here. Note that this is a true story. Feedback is welcome.)

For the first year after we left the Army and got booted into the real world to fend for ourselves, my boyfriend and I didn’t have the luxury of being too picky about where we lived. In a hurry, we rented what we thought was a decent condo, but it’s not like we knew what we were doing.

It was a learning experience. What I learned is that I will never live anywhere with shared walls or communal areas ever again, and I’m sure not renting.

One of several things that put me off was dealing with people. Ugh. People. People just – they just ruin everything. And with condo life, they’re inescapable.

My ideal home now is a mountain cabin, deep in woods somewhere, where I never have to hear anyone or see a human face if I don’t want to.

That’s heaven to me.

How bad do neighbors have to be that I’d literally rather replace them with wild bears?

Being stuck in a 12-month lease in Entitled Parents Village will do that to you. The neighborhood kids, the parents, everyone, they all just sucked to deal with.

I don’t even know why it attracted people like this in the first place. Rent was not cheap, we weren’t near a school, and there was nothing around that should say “child-friendly” to anyone. Only about half the condos had yard, and these “yards,” weren’t much bigger than a small bedroom. Just a tiny fenced area just big enough for a small dog to do their business, and not much else.

There was a somewhat large common greenspace between the condo rows, but it wasn’t fenced, and there was no playground and nothing to do.

No surprise the kids were unbearable, they often are.

And before anyone calls me a child-hater…

Yeah. Kinda.

Being a kid is awesome, being stuck around kids sucks. Just ask any kid. They might object, right up until they’re forced to deal with their own younger siblings.

It’s the parents’ own fault, I know. And I’m using the word “parent” very loosely here, since they never actually did any parenting - verb. They never supervised their kids or taught them to behave. They just shove their kids outside to be everyone else’s problem, because watching TV is more important than actually spending any time at all with the children they chose to force into the world. There is a world of difference between people who actually parent, and people who just breed.

This isn’t simply a matter of kids being kids, it’s parents not being parents.

Letting kids play outside in the common green space would have been one thing, but this was way out of hand. The kid  just ran around in feral packs with absolutely no one watching or controlling them in any way, wreaking havoc and tearing up all in their path. Fighting each other, playing chicken with cars, and destroying anything they could get their hands on, with absolutely no parents even so much as occasionally glancing away from Facebook to stop them, like they just expected kids to raise themselves.

I think I read this book before, it’s called Lord Of The Flies and it is not a how-to manual!

And how does anyone ignore all the racket these meat sirens make?! I’m not talking about normal kids playing noises here either – no, that would have been one thing – No, I mean the screamed at the top if their lungs for no reason all the time just because they could. I don’t even know how they did it – they’re kids – their lungs are only so big!

I can only assume their parents found teaching their kids to have some volume control was just too much effort to bother with, so they send them outside to scream. Because why should parents suffer alone? Misery loves company, right? If hey haven’t had a moment of peace since the condom broke, why should anyone else?

I never understood that saying “screaming blood murder.” It was just such an overused chiche it didn’t mean anything one more. But after this, I got it.

Not long after moving in, I heard blood-curdling screaming so loud and terrible that I rushed outside legitimately expecting to find a child being brutally skinned alive. Why else would a human make such a horrible sound? I don’t know what my plan was, like I was gunna fight some axe murderer or something, when I’m barely bigger than a kid myself.

But I rush out there and what do I find? Some brat, more than old enough to know better, just standing out there, alone, completely unharmed, just screaming his stupid head off, for no doggamn reason at all.

No one was even trying to murder him.

Yet.

This brat seriously had the nerve to stare at me with a look like ‘what’s your problem?’

Oh, I’m sorry. Am I bothering you?!

Kids screaming all the time over nothing was a constant thing. I stopped checking to see if they were OK. No one else was bothering to check either, certainly not their PARENTS.

The plot of a horror movie could seriously unfold right outside everyone’s home, and no one would even glance out their window. They’d all just assume it’s brats being brats, as usual. That’s what happens when you cry wolf.

At least there would be quiet.

It didn’t stop at noise, either. I’ve tripped in holes they dug in the greenspace, chased off brats who were pulling apart my fence boards trying to harass my dog, and I even found them climbing on people’s cars.

That’s not a jungle gym!

Just tell their parents?

These parents don’t care. If they did, they’d recognize that their kids are bored and lonely and need to do something with their energy, so they’d take their kids to the park and -ya know – take an active role in their lives and give them some actual structure, and then this crap wouldn’t even happen in the first place.

But apart from that,

The parents are on my car too! Where do you think the brats get it from?!

I’m heading to work one day. And lucky me, it was one of the few days I actually got to park in my own spot that I pay for without one if these entitled parents taking it - again, and this is what I find:  

Some dude just causally resting his butt on my car while he chats up one of the moms.

Imagine feeling so entitled to just sit on other people’s things. Just rubbing your butt all over their property. I just. I can’t. Clearly these people weren’t properly raised by their own parents either.  

And like, what are you even doing here, dude? Are you trying to pretend that’s your ride? You’re really trying to impress her with this? My car is even older than I am. How shitty is your car if this is your flex?

Me: “Move.”

(unlocks)

(Guy gives dirty looks, lady giggles.)

Oh, sorry dude. Am I bothering you?

Totally ruined what I assume is that dude’s pickup attempt.

Good. There’s enough neglected screaming kids here as it is, no need to add to the cacophony.

When the adults of the area were as bad as the kids. They’d have loud, trashy arguments arguments with each other, leave their trash all over, scream at their dogs rather than ever actually bring them inside when they bark.

Yelling at your dog only makes them bark more! How about actually taking him for a WALK once in a while – your tiny yard is not enough! Take your dog, take your kids, and go to the park and you’ll all be happier and healthier.

Speaking of dogs, there was this one neighbor who would leave their dog, just a little pitbull puppy, chained up outside in the common green. Yeah. In the common green. Even though they had a a yard they could have had the pup in. Admittedly it was tiny, but it’s not like being on the chain gave him any extra space. His line was just long enough for him to wander into my parking space, so I’d have to be careful to avoid running him over. The poor thing would be out there alone, with no water, all day every day no matter the weather. Yeah, they were as bad dog owners as they were parents.

But even that was an improvement on the other neighbor who had the older pitt. He lived in one of the condos without even the tiny yards others had. But he didn’t let that stop him from just opening the door and letting his dog run free when he wanted out. It wasn’t even like his dog was getting out on accident, dude was doing it on purpose. Yeah, really. Forget a leash, this guy couldn’t even be bothered to go outside with his dog. So this big loose, untrained, energetic pitt would tear around, tackling people, taking out everyone’s legs, bothering other dogs, and running off into traffic. Bad parenting here included furkids too.

Pitts are such good dogs! They deserve to be treated better than this! If you’re not going to take care of your dogs, if you’re not going to take care of your kids – DON’T HAVE ANY!

The most baffling thing I saw was the honking dude. It was like 10PM, and I couldn’t sleep because someone just kept honking their damn horn. It wasn’t a car alarm, either. This dude was just honking angrily and laying on the horn.

I assumed he was just someone here to pick up a neighbor, and too lazy and inconsiderate to just knock on a door. Or fing text like EVERYONE. After 10 minutes of this crap, I had enough.

When I got outside to tell him off,  I realized this guy isn’t even stopped in one place. He is slowly, very slowly, driving his car round and round on the road that encircles the condo area.

Amazing. I was expecting to deal with a douche-bag, but this is some extra next-level douchery.

I cut him off and yell

“HEY!”

He stopped his car, and his honking, and stared at me like ‘what’s your problem?’

Oh, am I bothering you?!

“What are you honking for?”

“Cus.”

Seriously?!

“Cut it out or I’m calling the cops!”

He swears at me a bit, but peels out when I pull up my phone. Still had to honk some more on his way out. Douche. I wonder if this is what the random screaming kid evolves into when he collects enough douche exp.

The unit that shared walls with us used to house a couple in it who would keep us awake, and quite concerned, with their loud domestics. But even when they were evicted, that didn’t bring us quiet either. After the landlord spent weeks of his own hard work and who knows how much money repairing the walls that the last family put so many holes in, the next tenants’ kid immediately set to creating brand new ones.

It’s the kind of thing I think of when I remember that I have to struggle to find a place that even allows pets at all, and then pay a pet deposit for my perfect quiet dog who does nothing wrong in her whole life, but there’s literally nothing landlords can do about renting to people with kids.  Also puts me off any thoughts of being a landlord myself.

(tap tap tap tap bang! Rattle)

Me: “WTF is that?”

(tap tap tap tap bang! Rattle)

(tap tap tap tap bang! Rattle)

This kid  next door was running, full speed, to body slam our wall. Then, not learning any lessons from pain, doubling back to charge again.

Me: “Why…?”

I saw this kid outside with the others sometimes, not a parent in sight as usual. He looked like he was maybe 5, but acted more like he was 2. He didn’t seem to be able to speak, just did this gargle scream thing and that was it for communication. I think the poor guy may have had a disability of some kind, but his parents were literally never anywhere to be found to say so.

His assaults on the wall would go on for like half an hour at a time until the kid would wear himself out, or maybe hurt himself enough to finally stop. No adults ever stopped him, I know that. Either his parents were leaving him home alone, or they were home and just ignored him doing this, like they just don’t care if he gets hurt. Either way, they should have never been parents.  

Special needs isn’t just a cutesy euphemism, it means you need to do extra work to raise a kid, not less. His needs are special, he needs more.

More than once I’ve seen this wandering around outside completely naked, and looking lost. No parents trying to wrangle him, no parents looking for him, nothing. I guess they just didn’t care if he got hit by a car or picked up by a creeper.

A number of people called CPS, but I don’t know if anything ever came of it. I felt bad for the kid. He deserves competent parents who actually care about him. I hope he eventually got some, and got the help he needs.  

(tap tap tap tap bang! Rattle)

But sympathy didn’t make me hate living next door any less.

I couldn’t be happier when our year was up and my boyfriend and I bought our house. We made sure to pick a house with space between the neighbors, and avoided any place too near to playgrounds, schools, or daycares. Eventually we settled on place in a nice neighborhood on the north end of town and I thought our neighbor problems were over.

I thought wrong.

The neighbors I just spent this whole video complaining about definitely suck. Crappy-garbage-trash-heaps! But these aren’t THE nightmare neighbors of the title. Oh-no. I haven’t got to them yet.

This is just the prologue. The set up.

Buying a house in a nice neighborhood didn’t solve the problem like I expected. No. It’s about to get worse.

[coal-the-shiba]

Just sit right back, and you'll hear a tale A tale 'bout a fateful trip...

And that's all I'm gonna steal from that little number.  But let me start at the beginning.  Please see the pictures above for any helpful visuals.

So, this weekend, we went to a nice little "minshuku" (a private house that offers lodgings.)  This one was really quaint, a bit of a southern Victorian style.  It was up in the mountains and surrounded by woods.  The place was dog-friendly, so Coal could come with us. 

Let me say this.  The food was great, the beds were comfortable, the rooms were nice, the owner was very sweet and friendly.  So here comes the big but.

The first tip off that I should worry was the dog run.  It had bushes and vines growing over the animal net fencing and seemed kind of...not maintained?  I walked around and it seemed secure, and I wanted some ideas for our own home-made dog run on how to establish it.  There was a small gap near the gate, but it seemed small and like it wouldn't be pliable.  Made a mental not of it.

Second tip off was dinner time.  Now, throughout the entire time here, Coal was doing great.  Even when there was a dog around two feet from him when we came in from a potty break, I could keep his attention with some good treats while we wiped him down.  He still gets hyper when people walk by or get closer, and he still barks at people (especially men) who suddenly get up and move around, but we are working on it.  He seems to be a bit barky nowadays.  Anyway, there was one other family and their small white dog (poodle? I dunno...but I could have sworn that it would be named fluffy or princess the way it looked).  Coal just stared at the miniature across the room.

Near the end of the dinner, the owner brings out her large, black dog.  I want to say it was a Poodle because it was thin and had a kind of wavish-curly hair type, but I think I am wrong.  Anyway, almost the moment the dog spotted Coal, she started barking.  The owner tied up her up in the corner where you would think that she wouldn't see other dogs well, but she continued to bark.  It wasn't long before Coal started to bark back.  It was a bark fest.  The Black dog's tail was up high and waving (not a good sign).

I did the only reasonable thing--I got up and left.  Coal was getting completely out of control.  I was dumbfounded.  I have never ever had this happen before.  It wasn't the size---Coal has been around plenty of large dogs.  Maybe the type?  Maybe the first act of barking and not stopping and feeling trapped?  I dunnno.  I think the woman thought that I was trying to bring Coal over to introduce the two and put out a hand to stop me, mentioning something about not being good with dogs (shortened Japanese or I might have missed a word as I wasn't focused on that at the moment).  Outside the room, Coal almost immediately calmed down.  This was red flag number two.

Red flag number three was when the owner came out apologizing, explaining that she is really good with people but sometimes not good with other dogs, and to go ahead and come back in and relax.

Yeah, while her dog was still in there.  I waited until Coal was calm and tried again, trying to keep his attention with treats (I wanted to finished dinner, and naturally, so did my husband).  He was calm until the dog started barking at him (almost immediately it) again.  I managed it as well as I could, then took him out again.  I brought him back in when he was calm, and the lady *finally* took the black dog out.

She then returned with a white dog of the same breed.  Red flag number four.  This time, Coal started barking because he was still tense from earlier, and basically, the dog only changed color.  It MUST be the same dog! (I think this was male, though).  The white one, of course, barked back.  I took him out again.  Calmed him down, did some training again, got his focus.  Tried to come in again so I could finish dessert--Nope.  Bark fest.  I tried blocking Coal's view---to no avail.  My husband took over because I am not strong enough to hold him at this point, and covered his eyes.  Nope, no good.  I tried going over to show Coal that it was fine.  Nope.

After eating, we immediately took Coal outside to the dog run again.  He went to the bathroom and just ran all over the place, so over stimulated that he could barely control himself.

You would think that the owner of the establishment would have been the one to remove her dogs so that her PAYING CUSTOMERS could enjoy their meals. -_-

But that, my friends, is not the worst.  Not by far.  No, the worst part was the next day.

6:13am sharp, Coal starts making noise to wake us up so he can go potty.  I eventually roll out of bed, get dressed, and take him out and around to the dog run to relieve himself.  Big.  Mistake.

He did fine, he was running around, peeing and pooping.  He often goes to the gate of any dog run when he is ready to leave, and he did so with this one again as always.  I was in the middle of the dog run and started walking to him when, suddenly, he lifted up his paw at the side and slipped through.  

In the mountains.

Near woods.

My heart stopped, I called out his name and tried to use his recall cue (useless because I know it isn't strong enough yet.  Shiba are hard to get a reliable recall with ).  He was gone.  I made it to the gate just in time to see his little butt disappearing around the front side of the house.  I called him again and again, but my voice is not strong because of my asthma.  It's raining, cold and windy, and I am trying my damnedest to stay calm and think.  Chasing will make him run more, so I continued to walk calming (can't run anyway).

Suddenly, he zips back around the front of the house and takes the sharp U-turn down the drive.  I call out, falling as fast as I can and as calm as I can manage.  I know this run style---it's the (in)famous Shiba 500.  He is just having a blast!  As I make it down, to the bottom, I don't see him anywhere.  I run to the forest on the left side of the house, calling his name and trying the recall (useless, I knew it then).  I looked at the road in front of the property.  Not busy by any stretch, but still around 40pmh or so.  I am about to start crying.  I go back towards the drive, just in time to see him come zipping down the stairs.

Immediately, I squat down and call him as cheerfully as I can.  He immediately turns towards me, full-speed, then zips past---bad habit of his.  

Somehow, I catch him, though, just in the middle of that road.  Thank god there were no cars in this weather.

I don't think I have ever been so scared in my life.  The fact that he only ran in areas that we had already been was a huge blessing, and the fact that no little squirrels or animals distracted him into the woods was another one.

We are never ever going there again.  The negligence of that establishment is unacceptable, though I learned an important lesson about double-checking the grounds before letting Coal off-leash.  So far, it has never ever been an issue.  I have been to many places, and they are always impeccable about their security around the dog run.  I am so disappointed, especially because this lady has three dogs of her own (or two, as we never saw the third).

The pictures on their website look nothing like the real thing.  Both dog runs are shown to be securely fenced in with no overgrowth whatsoever (scroll down here) (http://takayama-cloverleaf.com/Clover.Leaf.sisetu.html  You can see the two dogs I am referring to as well at the bottom.  Maybe Newfoundland wolfhound? Or maybe just two different breeds)

[bloojayoolie]

Andrew Bogut, Cats, and Children: Absolutely precious! Sweet, wiggly, endearing, well mannered lady. Adores people & other d Donna INTAKE DATE: 02-04-2019 <3 Meet our other BEST girl -- special, small, sweet and with the biggest heart. DONNA! DONNA and her sister BETTY arrived at the care center together, an adorable pair of mushy faced sweethearts who had constantly wagging tails, wiggly butts, and nothing but kisses for everyone ehty met. They have everyone smitten with their friendly, sweet, endearing ways and their terrific manners. Donna adores people, and she loves other dogs. The minute she sees a canine friend she gets happy and wiggly and can’t wait to meet them. She is also a big cuddlebug. Please don’t let her linger there, and like everyone else, end up with the shelter cold and on the list to die. She’s a total sweetheart, a real gem of a dog, and deserves a loving family of her own. As a volunteer writes: “This love-bug quickly stole my heart this week and is bound to have you smitten! Donna is a perfectly behaved pup looking for human love and approval. She quietly awaited being leashed and let out of her kennel. On leash she is in tune with her handler and the moment I bent down to greet her she was in my lap for cuddles. Though at first she was a little unsure of the backyard, the moment another pup came out, she perked up and very politely greeted her canine neighbor. Donna would love a doggy sibling and/or a human sibling. She is head-to-toe sweet and is a guaranteed cupid's arrow to your heart. Come fall in love with this special girl today at the Manhattan Animal Care Center!” DONNA, ID# 54175, 5 yrs old, 48.6 lbs. Unaltered Female Manhattan ACC, Medium Mixed Breed, Brown / White Owner Surrender Reason: Stray, 2/4/2019 Shelter Assessment Rating: Medical Behavior Rating: 1. Green I CAME IN WITH MY SIBLING, BETTY ID# 54174 (ALSO IN NEED): https://www.facebook.com/mldsavingnycdogs/photos/a.112459638940315/921231281396476/?type=3&theater MEDICAL EXAM NOTES Estimated age: est 3-8 based on dental findings. Microchip noted on Intake? None. Microchip Number (If Applicable): N/A. History : came in with one other dog -- limited history. Subjective: bright alert; friendly. Observed Behavior - friendly. Evidence of Cruelty seen - none. Evidence of Trauma seen - none. Objective: bar h pink 1 sec 101.1, EENT: Eyes clear, ears- redness and sl lichnification, no nasal or ocular discharge noted; periorbital redness. Oral Exam: mild tartar. PLN: No enlargements noted. H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic. ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated. U/G: FI; NO VAGINAL DC. MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat; SL FOCAL AREAS OF ALOPECIA IN CAUDAL DORSUM. CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities.Assessment: 1) OTITIS EXTERNA, MILD FOCAL AREAS OF ALOPECIA, R/O ATOPY VS FOOD ALLERGY VS PARASITIC VS OTHER 2) MILD TARTAR. Prognosis: GOOD. Plan: CLARO RX Q 2 WEEKS. HYPOALLERGENIC DIET WHILE AT ACC. FOLLOW UP WITH PERM. VET AT A LATER DATE--- FOR ATOPY VS FOOD ALLERGIES VS OTHER. REC'D DENTAL HYGIENE TX. SURGERY: Okay for surgery *** TO FOSTER OR ADOPT *** If you would like to adopt a NYC ACC dog, and can get to the shelter in person to complete the adoption process, you can contact the shelter directly. We have provided the Brooklyn, Staten Island and Manhattan information below. Adoption hours at these facilities is Noon – 8:00 p.m. (6:30 on weekends) If you CANNOT get to the shelter in person and you want to FOSTER OR ADOPT a NYC ACC Dog, you can PRIVATE MESSAGE our Must Love Dogs page for assistance. PLEASE NOTE: You MUST live in NY, NJ, PA, CT, RI, DE, MD, MA, NH, VT, ME or Northern VA. You will need to fill out applications with a New Hope Rescue Partner to foster or adopt a NYC ACC dog. Transport is available if you live within the prescribed range of states. Shelter contact information: Phone number (212) 788-4000 Email adopt@nycacc.org Shelter Addresses: Brooklyn Shelter: 2336 Linden Boulevard Brooklyn, NY 11208 Manhattan Shelter: 326 East 110 St. New York, NY 10029 Staten Island Shelter: 3139 Veterans Road West Staten Island, NY 10309 *** NEW NYC ACC RATING SYSTEM *** Level 1 Dogs with Level 1 determinations are suitable for the majority of homes. These dogs are not displaying concerning behaviors in shelter, and the owner surrender profile (where available) is positive. Some dogs with Level 1 determinations may still have potential challenges, but these are challenges that the behavior team believe can be handled by the majority of adopters. The potential challenges could include no young children, prefers to be the only dog, no dog parks, no cats, kennel presence, basic manners, low level fear and mild anxiety. Level 2 Dogs with Level 2 determinations will be suitable for adopters with some previous dog experience. They will have displayed behavior in the shelter (or have owner reported behavior) that requires some training, or is simply not suitable for an adopter with minimal experience. Dogs with a Level 2 determination may have multiple potential challenges and these may be presenting at differing levels of intensity, so careful consideration of the behavior notes will be required for counselling. Potential challenges at Level 2 include no young children, single pet home, resource guarding, on-leash reactivity, mouthiness, fear with potential for escalation, impulse control/arousal, anxiety and separation anxiety. Level 3 Dogs with Level 3 determinations will need to go to homes with experienced adopters, and the ACC strongly suggest that the adopter have prior experience with the challenges described and/or an understanding of the challenge and how to manage it safely in a home environment. In many cases, a trainer will be needed to manage and work on the behaviors safely in a home environment. It is likely that every dog with a Level 3 determination will have a behavior modification or training plan available to them from the behavior department that will go home with the adopters and be made available to the New Hope Partners for their fosters and adopters. Some of the challenges seen at Level 3 are also seen at Level 1 and Level 2, but when seen alongside a Level 3 determination can be assumed to be more severe. The potential challenges for Level 3 determinations include adult only home (no children under the age of 13), single pet home, resource guarding, on-leash reactivity with potential for redirection, mouthiness with pressure, potential escalation to threatening behavior, impulse control, arousal, anxiety, separation anxiety, bite history (human), bite history (dog) and bite history (other). New Hope Rescue Only Dog is not publicly adoptable. Prospective fosters or adopters need to fill out applications with New Hope Partner Rescues to save this dog.

[bumblingseabiscuit]

Tumblr made me think a lot today, and I am going to do my best to try and tackle a pretty heated conversation. I apologize if I do not cover everything, this is something with over 300 posts and very “at opposites” sides. 

“Half-Breed” / “Halfling”

I start this off by addressing the main context of the conversation: “Is the use of the word half-breed racist?”

In my personal opinion, I will say: yes. 

“Does the use of the word half-breed make someone racist?”

In my personal opinion, I will say: no.

I’m going to do my best to explain why I can acknowledge the difference.

Presentation: I’m of the opinion that starting a discussion on the offensive will always place people on the defensive. This means, they shut their ears, they close their eyes, and they feel like they first and foremost need to shield themselves from your ‘attacks.’ 

Now the argument can be made here that’s, “Good, they should feel attacked like we do every day.” Unfortunately, that. . .  isn’t quite how it works. I’d argue it’s a touch hypocritical. You’re trying to escape that hate, you know better than anyone why it’s important to not put it upon someone. 

It also closes people down to viewpoints and means more people turn away from your side. Does that make this racist? I don’t feel like I’m qualified to decide that. Honestly, I think it’ll depend on who you talk to. I do think that it’s hard to understand hatred. I do think it’s hard to join the side of someone who is attacking you. I do think self-preservation is coded into all of us. Whether or not that excuses their actions can remain up to the individuals involved.

There will always be those who will scream and shout in argument to whatever point you may bring up because of their racism or their privilege (or honestly both), but in trying to educate, in trying to change the narrative, you need to appeal to those that have privilege and just don’t understand the other side. Who haven’t been shown the other side. These people aren’t inherently evil, racist, or against you. But if you approach them on the offensive it’s easy for them to go on the defensive. 

I don’t feel like people who use the word “half-breed” are inherently racist because:

Privilege: they’ve not experienced the other side

Language barrier: it’s been pointed out why this may be the case

Privilege:

I want to buffer this to my followers: Privilege is not an evil word. It’s not an offensive word. It’s not a word used to insult you. I know in some cases people use it that way. There are extremists in every movement who will taint terms with their outlooks. However, I want you to take a moment and acknowledge that here, right now, I’m not using this as a word to attack you.

Instead, I’m trying to explain things the best I can.

Privilege is the lacking experience of social situations or hierarchy because of your religion, your skin color, your gender, or your sexuality. It means that you don’t inherently experience the world in a darker light. It means you don’t face having to consider:

whether or not to wear your khimar 

how to style your hair for a job interview

whether or not the outfit you wear is “too skimpy”

if you can hold hands with your lover

These are just some examples and there are hundreds upon thousands of alternative examples that explain how you may have the privilege that others don’t, and why those other people may have aches and pains you may not understand.

So here’s where that comes into play for “half-breed” and “halfling.”

Many of you who have experienced the term, “half-breed,” outside of biracial communities, experienced it in an online fantasy world. From D&D, to WoW, to XIV, Dragon Age, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and a plethora of other worlds where racial / species mixing is possible. However, I encourage you to apply critical thinking in these situations.

In most cases, when the term “half-breed,” is used in a fantasy realm, it is being used in a derogatory means. Example:

“Ack! A half-breed your kind aren’t welcome in my bar!”

“Did you see that man. Yes! The one over there! The half-breed. I can’t imagine how he ever got work at Lady Amarth’s home.”

“She’s a mudblood, filthy she is.”

XIV in particular shows that mixed races are treated poorly. They’re kicked out from their tribes, they’re disowned by their family, they’re cast to the slums. Half-breed is rarely used as a “positive” or “neutral” descriptive in fantasy narratives. When it’s presented in a neutral fashion that’s often because the setting has already been shown to not have socially progressed. Calling someone a “half-breed,” is as ‘natural,’ as more inappropriate insults were before our society progressed.

Still with me?

When we apply critical thinking, we can see that the term “half-breed,” is in most cases a racist term supplied by fantasy creators to set a negative mood. So we can see in our fantasy settings how this term is considered derogatory. And at this point, we’re forced to recognize the fact that this term is meant to be racist (and thereby is racist). It’s meant to split a character apart from the “purebloods,” because the pureblood are viewed as “superior.”

This is something that, as a privileged person, you can grasp onto with a level of tangency. It’s a good step into progressing you into the further outlook of why the term, “half-breed,” is racist. And that’s because:

It’s used to insult biracial human beings. 

Privileged people only hear half-breed in correlation to a dog, a cat, or another animal. It’s important to remember that many people don’t and are treated not unlike animals. Many colored communities are still treated as if they’re less than human and those communities face a plethora of insults in the form of racial slurs that you, as a person of privilege, would never have flung at you. One of which is, half-breed, and as such (as you can see from the discussion) it’s very hurtful to those who are and have been part of those communities.

Language:

This has already been touched upon by @nightmaze into why some people may not recognize the derogatory term. I will say that dismissing this point entirely isn’t quite fair to non-English speakers and non-American inhabitants. English, in of itself, is a mess of non-grammar, non-infliction words that develop connotations through historical use more than linguistic design. Our language is a mess. 

People from entirely different countries, with far less knowledge of American history, who have words that loosely translate into what we perceive here as insulting should not inherently be deemed “racist,” or their points invalid. That being said, this is meant to be a bridge to understanding and not an excuse. Mistakes will always happen when you learn a different language. The important part, for you as a bilingual speaker, is to understand and educate yourself on why a word you thought was fine, isn’t.

Does your mistake make you inherently racist? Nah, heck no. In fact, it’s probably going to happen a lot (especially growing up in a completely different country from where such drastic history was held). How you handle the mistake reflects on you, though.

(*I will note “you” here is being utilized in a general way and not targeting Nightmaze specifically)

ALL RIGHTY. So now we tackle some general miscommunications.

“I’d never say this word in real life. It’s my character who is racist!” That’s fine. If you use this term and acknowledge the fact that it is racist, and your character is being racist, your character can face the in character consequences of their actions. However. There’s this idea that “IC=/=OOC,” is this great holy black-and-white rule and it’s not. Your pretendy times is not more important than my mental health. Your pretendy times shouldn’t be more important than our friendship. Not blending IC and OOC is always a good idea, but sometimes, people are just made incredibly uncomfortable by an action or word and they’re allowed to be uncomfortable. They’re allowed to ask you to stop, or not do that thing or use that word around them, and if you have any respect or regard for the player on the other end of the screen I’d hope that you would consider a level of empathy. 

An example I can provide is rape. If your character is a rapist, and you 100% acknowledge that is evil and that your character is evil, that’s on you. You do you. I’d ask for you to not play that character around me, not try to rape my character, or bring up rape around me/my character. Because while it’s in character for yours, I am personally made uncomfortable. Sure you can scream, “IC IS IC!” but honestly why does that matter at this point? I’m uncomfortable, it upsets me, and you’re telling me to, “Just get over,” my real world feelings for your fake world pretendy fun times. 

If you’re one of the people that prefer to protect the sanctity of your writing and roleplay over the sanctity of a person’s thoughts and real world emotions I’d suggest for you to do some critical self-thought, and look into yourself to see why that is.

“I’ve never encountered half-breed as being racist!” And now you have! And I’ve tried my best to provide reasoning as to why and I’d hope you consider using a different term. 

“This seems blown out of proportion.” That’s because you’ve likely never been on the receiving end of constant hate. What may seem silly to you is extremely hurtful to others. And isn’t that what’s more important here? People are hurting. It’s really easy in this case to be empathetic and make an effort to see they don’t hurt by removing a term from your vocabulary. 

At the end of the day folks, that latter point is what this comes down to. While I think going around and name calling, being on the offensive, and generally getting really heated is not going to be how this subject educates people I do understand why it’s a snap-reaction. A lot of you have experienced heartache. A lot of you have privilege. Those two things combined with no proper foundation creates a rocky discussion platform and I feel like more people came out of this on the defensive when they should have come out with understanding.

I hope that, at the end of the day, this helps to create a more neutral and understanding conversation going forward. I’m sorry I couldn’t tackle everything, this is already extremely long. I’m not going to spoiler this because honestly it’s really important to read. So instead, I’m just going to apologize for, “The long post.”

[batmanfucker69-archive]

Oh no...it’s time to talk about the companions. :(

Before I go into them individually I wanna say that gameplay wise they’re all pretty worthless. None of them can aim well and their AI is poor. The melee characters are ok in a fight but I’ve never had most of them do much when I’m fighting. This probably isn’t too controversial I mean most of the time bethesda games have bad AI it just stands out a lot in this game to me. 

Also the romance part felt tacked on super late like. it barely effects anything you barely get any new dialogue from romancing them. It’s really obvious they wanted to cash in on bioware’s popular romance function from mass effect and dragon age while putting in the least amount of effort. Also there’s the fact that they’re all the schrodinger’s bisexual trope, save for maybe a fetishizing line from Cait.

I’ll go in alphabet order of the characters names, and also cover their companion quest if they have one. 

Cait- She’s probably one of my favorites but like...she’s wasted potential. I still don’t understand why there’s like. British/Russian/Irish characters in these games because how did they get over here but anyway. Cait is located at an arena raiders go to bet on fighters. She’s one of the fighters you find when you come in but the raiders immediately attack you which is super lazy. There could have been a quest to get her but you kill everyone but her and her manager.

She’s basically forced to be your companion because her manager immediately sells you her contract. You can’t say no without being a rude asshole so I take her everytime but I sometimes just leave her in a settlement. She’s rude, and one of the characters who seems to enjoy you being rude to other people. But...then she says she enjoys how nice you are to her and everyone else but you’ve only gotten approval from her for being rude to other people or stealing. It’s incredibly confusing whether she sees you as someone like her or someone she wants to be like.

On the other hand I think her backstory is strong and I can see what Bethesda was going for with her. She’s conflilcted because she wants to be a good person, but doesn’t see how to in a world as cruel as she lives in. Which is a really good idea for a fallout character and if handled better she’d probably be one of my favorite characters in fallout as a whole.

Then there’s her companion quest which they royally fucked up on.Bethesda’s writers are not good enough to cover a sensitive issue like drug addiction. And making a magical machine that can just cure your addiction in like 5 seconds is super insulting.

Codsworth- I don’t care about Codsworth at all. They kind of touch on his old connection to your family but that goes no where and I...don’t care about my family. He never even finds out what happens to Shaun I don’t think. He’s just kinda there. He also doesn’t have a personal quest. 

Curie- Curie is controversial and for good reason. At first I thought she was a cute little robot who was programmed with AI and I thought it was neat that an AI other than a synth would be a romance option. I was so so wrong. They upload her consciousness into a failed memory transferred synth. 

They basically took someone who was in a vegetative state, erased their existance completely, and replaced their mind with Curie’s. Which is super fucked up. Of course they upload her into a sexy lady which is super objectifying...somehow more than when she was a robot. 

Wanting to feel more human could have been a really interesting development for an AI character but they just made it super fucked up while not confronting the fact that it’s super fucked up and there’s no other option in this quest it has to happen. Curie deserved better.

Danse- Another character that had a lot of potential. At first I thought he was a jackass from the Brotherhood, which he is, at first. When I first played the game I avoided him but I found his quest online and had to continue the brotherhood questline just to find out what happened to him.

He finds out he’s a synth, the things that the brotherhood are trying to destroy, and his entire life basically falls apart. He runs away at first but then he realizes someone will find him and just stays in this base waiting for someone to kill him. When you find him it’s a genuinely emotional scene and you actually get a choice on whether to kill him or not. 

However after the quest this good writing ends because other than his talks with you he continues to act like he’s a paladin in the Brotherhood. & if you do his quest but then go on to another faction’s side and kill destroy the brotherhood he ceases to be your companion and will glitch out and the game registers him as a regular settler but he doesn’t have the lines. To my knowledge this has never been patched and I really hope it isn’t intentional.

Deacon- Another companion with no personal quest, so I’ll go more into his backstory. His wife died which is new and original of course. But anyway he works for the railroad to make up for being in a gang that hatedsynths (and also killed his wife who was apparently a synth). He actually feels guilty for his past and joined the railroad as a means of redemption.

All this is a good basis for a character but it doesn’t really go anywhere. He’s a liar too but again this goes no where. He tells the player character he trusts them after a time but we never figure out his real name so who knows if he does or not because he’s prone to lying. He has some interesting dialogue around the Commonwealth but other than that there’s not much to him.

Dogmeat- This character is the most vile, the worst, morally corrupt character in the game. No jk. I do gotta say it’s confusing that there’s pure bred dogs in the post apocalypse. Whos breeding german shepards around here?

Hancock- I know everyone loves him but. He’s so poorly written. If he cares about his people so much why are they living on the streets while he gets a whole building to himself? Bethesda really didn’t know how to make him what they wanted him to be. Sure there’s little law in Goodneighbor, but he lets gangs take over the back allies and it isn’t even mentioned in game. He’s just confusing as a character, his backstory is a little interesting, but I think a lot more could be done with it. 

I don’t care about his asshole brother and neither does he apparently, since he never does anything about Diamond City like I thought he would and the bad blood between them is mentioned about twice the whole game. His whole ghoulification is also ignorable to him, and isn’t used for much.

Robert MacCready- He has a dead wife and a dying son so he gets bonus Todd points. The only reason he’s in the Commonwealth is to find a cure for his son. You do help him find this, so at least they wrapped up this plot point. The reason he doesn’t leave the Commonwealth right away is because you become good friends and I honestly think that’s sweet. Unfortunately he’s still a dick. Not as big of an ass as in 3 but I still don’t really like him. And why does he yell “Tunnel Snakes Rule!”? sometimes when he goes into combat? It doesn’t seem like the Tunnel Snakes really became a thing after fallout 3 and it’s just super forced. 

He used to run with the Gunners, who are just a generic raider group but with better armor pretty much. He doesn’t give us much insight into them and we just kill off some of them who were looking for him because it’ll get them off his ass? apparently. This quest also bleeds into him finding a cure for his son’s mysterious illness, but the two events are pretty much unrelated.

I feel like his character could have been really good since he knew the brotherhood from back home but he rarely talks about them and really he’s disappointing more than anything.

Nick Valentine- Hoo boy do I have unpopular opinions here. Nick is a waste of a character with a horrible character quest that really goes no where. We never find out why the institute abandoned him but I guess that’s in a DLC I never bought and just shows how lazy bethesda’s writing is. A quest involving the institute would be a million times better than the shitty quest we did get. His dialogue is mostly one-liners but he does seem to genuinely care about the main character, but he has no reason to which I guess could be good or bad. I do love his aesthetic, though. It’s 50s noire, which is what the theme of the game should be. 

Anyway, personal quest. You go on fetch quests to different police stations around the CommonWealth and kill whatever the heck’s infesting the place. It’s pretty boring other than learning about what happened to prewar gangsters. After that we find out these tapes are for, it turns out that there’s prewar gangster still alive and in a twist Nick doesn’t have a dead wife but a dead fiance to mix things up.

This revenge plot for Nick could have been great but they did absolutely everything wrong. So this gangster turned himself into a ghoul on purpose. Before the Great War. How did he know that a load of radiation would make him immortal? it’s never explained! And he locked himself in a bunker for over 200 years and he never left. You would think this would affect him somehow but he acts completely normal and acts only slightly annoyed two armed people broke into his bunker. And then you don’t even get a choice in the matter Nick just fuckin kills him and you leave the tunnel conveniently right where his fiance died. 

His whole companion quest is some of the worst writing I’ve ever seen in my life and I absolutely hate it and it makes me want to avoid Nick all together.

Piper Wright- She’s kinda boring. I like the set up they gave her but all her conflicts are never resolved at all. She doesn’t have a companion quest but she desperately needs one. I guess she sorta has one where she just asks about your character’s whole backstory and I think it’s funny you can just make shit up but she writes an article about it anyway. Her backstory is actually fantastic and gives really good reasons for her actions and her job. She has strong feelings that people deserve to know the truth and this gets her in trouble a lot. But as I said, none of it goes anywhere since she doesn’t have a companion quest and basically has no personality other than she gets in trouble.

I guess they ran out of time with her because I really think something was planned for her but got scrapped because of time.

Preston Garvey- I think he’s one of the best written ones. He has a strong sense of justice and is one of the few people who genuinely just want to do what’s right. I don’t know if it’s his voice actor but I like talking to him a lot. Bethesda really needed to add more minutemen characters because him spewing out a ton of side quests before you can actually talk to him is annoying. I wish we got a backstory for him other than being a minutemen and telling us their history. His romance is a lot better written than everyone else’s I think he does actually enjoy my character’s company.

Also I’m realy confused as to why he isn’t the general and your character is. I mean if they just didn’t call you general and he was nothing would change at all. Actually it would make more sense because he’s the one giving you orders.

Strong- uuuuuh don’t care super mutants have no personality in bethesda games skip

X6-88- I have to admit I rarely side with the institute so I haven’t seen X6 as much as the other companions. He’s very robotic, and he’s a courser but he’s just as bad in a fight as the rest of them. I don’t think he has a companion quest either. I can’t say much about him because Bethesda didn’t really do anything with him.

Anyway...they’re better than the fallout 3 companions but...that’s really not saying much because none of them had personalities.