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oddinary4bts · 2 years ago

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The Forgotten Spaces | ch 6 (jjk)

☆summary: you've been dancing on the same dance crew since your teenage years, and you finally have an important role in it. It feels like life is taunting you when your rival comes back after disappearing for a year, ready to tease you every chance he gets. Will the teasing turn into more, or are you going to take him down with you?

☆pairing: photographer and dancer!Jungkook x dancer!female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, there is mature content in previous/later chapters)

☆genre: slow (SLOW) burn enemies to lovers, college!au, slice of life!au, angst (oop), smut and fluff

☆warnings: mentions of sex/hot tub scene. hickey. angst (oops), might be a curse somewhere in there?

☆word count: 5.8k

☆series masterpost here

☆a/n: I am very sorry for all the angst that is to follow. Please don't hate me and please enjoy reading still haha! Thank you to @moonleeai for her beta reading on this fic, I won't ever thank you enough, you're the best <3

☆Read What Was Hidden here, the fic that inspired this whole story, written by @daechwitatamic, one of my fav human beings on this app <3 It follows the story of Jo and Taehyung before The Forgotten Spaces

☆☆☆☆☆

For this meeting of our end of the world

It's with you that I want to sing

On the threshold of the memories the dead of today

Them that breathe for us

The forgotten spaces

Je t'écris - Gaston Miron (rough translation by me)

☆☆☆☆☆

Sunday, July 8th

Waking up next to Jungkook feels weird. You reckon it might be because you haven’t slept a lot, and people are already moving around the cottage. You’ve refused to open your eyes so far, just because you’ve heard Jiho and Hobi whispering about you and Jungkook and you feel too much of a coward to admit you probably fucked things up with him already.

You think Jiho has taken a picture. Knowing her, she definitely has, and you wish you could just disappear for a time. You eventually force yourself to get up though, before Jungkook who is still dead asleep when you move to the kitchen. You suffer through Jiho’s questioning, but she quickly notices that you’re shut off, lost in thought and maybe even dabbling in a little regret too.

From there she shuts down everyone that asks questions, and by the time Jungkook gets up, everyone is just pretending they haven’t noticed that something definitely happened between the two of you.

Jungkook doesn’t really look at you. He eats breakfast chatting with Taehyung and Jin, avoiding you like the plague. You can tell you’ve hurt him, but you don’t know how to fix it. After all, you’ve never really been acquainted with feelings yourself. Especially not after your parents’ divorce.

The day feels heavy. It’s still warm outside, far too much, and a veil of dark clouds is looming over the horizon by the time you have to leave the cottage. Your mood imitates the weather, and you find yourself brooding more than you usually do.

You haven’t been able to talk to Jungkook yet. Mostly because he’s been avoiding you, yes. But also because you don’t know what to tell him.

“Hey, I’m shit at relationships and feelings, yesterday felt too real” sounds like too much of a confession. Even though it is the truth, you’re a coward, through and through.

Jiho’s been trying to get your mind off things. Texting you random stupid things, sending you memes as Hobi drives the four of you home. Heather is riding with Chaeyeon, Lance and Bridget this time around, so there’s a space between you and Jungkook. This time, when he falls asleep, he falls asleep with his head resting against the window, and not on your shoulder.

It starts raining halfway home, and Hobi drives slower, windshield wiper going on full blast. Jiho sends you yet another meme – something absurd you can’t bring yourself to find funny. It earns you a frown from your best friend, and a second later your phone vibrates in your hand.

[1:23 pm] Jiho❣️: u’re supposed to laugh☹️ [1:23 pm] You: i want to talk to Jungkook but idk what to tell him🫠 [1:25 pm] Jiho❣️: what really happened yesterday? i wanna help but it’s hard if idk [1:26 pm] You: we made out in the hot tub then fucked when we were supposed to sleep🤡 [1:26 pm] Jiho❣️: bruh i wish i had a make-out session in the hot tub [1:27 pm] You: 🙄🙄 [1:27 pm] Jiho❣️: sorry [1:27 pm] Jiho❣️: pretty sure more than just fucking happened considering both of you are upset [1:30 pm] You: i told him we shouldn’t have fucked after and he got upset [1:31 pm] Jiho❣️: bitch he’s into u ofc he’ll be upset [1:31 pm] You: u’re not helping [1:32 pm] Jiho❣️: are u into him?

You don’t know the answer. You ask yourself that question for the rest of the day, and you reckon you really don’t know. A lot changed between you and Jungkook over the weekend, but it’s hard to ignore the fact you have never really liked him. Because he was a dick and a bully to you for years.

It’s not something you think you can just forget because you’ve had sex with him once. And you don’t even know if you’d be interested in a relationship with him anyway. You’ve never been in a relationship before at all, and the thought of it terrifies you.

The thought of Jungkook being upset with you terrifies you in equal measures, but you refuse to admit it to yourself. Maybe because you’re trying to protect yourself. It’s hard to tell. You feel like you won’t be able to go through your feelings by yourself – they’re overwhelming, all of them.

Thinking about Jungkook is overwhelming. Thinking about dancing under the stars, about his scar, about the way he held onto you after he finished. Everything is overwhelming, and it makes you anxious. Jumpy, even, as you’re sitting in your room in your mother’s empty house later at night.

You’re halfway through a Studio Ghibli movie that was supposed to help you relax when you decide to text your therapist to schedule an appointment this week. It feels like the right thing to do – you know Mary has always been able to help you sort through your thoughts, even though you haven’t seen her in months.

You don’t expect her to reply tonight considering it’s late in the evening, but you linger on your messaging app. You can’t resist but scroll down a little, down to where Jungkook’s name lies on the screen. You click on the conversation, rereading the last messages he sent you from when he was drunk a little over a week ago. It makes your heart squeeze in your chest a little, and you scroll all the way up to the first time he texted you in April. You haven’t talked much at all, so it’s not like there’s a lot, but you can’t help yourself. You reread everything, entirely ignoring the movie playing on your laptop.

When you’re done reading, you find yourself typing a text even though you don’t know what to say. It seems your fingers know, because a moment later you find yourself staring at a fully formed sentence. It looks as if it’s taunting you, and you reread it so many times the words start to lose their meaning.

[9:47 pm] You: hey, i really enjoyed the weekend with u and i’m genuinely really sorry about yesterday…

It takes you all the courage your body can conjure up to press send. You immediately turn off your phone to focus on your laptop and on the movie, though it doesn’t really work at all. The anxiety the message has brought up in you makes the story of Totoro way too hard to follow, and you’re merely watching the scenes, barely even blinking.

When the movie ends, you get ready for bed. You haven’t dared check your phone yet, but a little bit of anticipation has been steadily building inside of you. Because you hope he’ll answer. You hope you won’t have to explain why you are the way that you are for things to go back to normal with him. Maybe because offering him your vulnerability feels like too much of a commitment for someone that doesn’t do commitments at all.

You know you’ll hate yourself at your internship the next day, but you can’t really sleep after you’ve settled under the comforter in your bed. It’s way past midnight when you finally gather the courage to look at your phone, teeth worrying at your bottom lip.

Your empty notification screen stares back at you, as if to say ‘you really thought that would change anything?’

You sigh, putting your phone away on your night table before turning on your side, grabbing a pillow to hold. It’s still raining outside, and your brain focuses on the splattering of rain on the panes of the window. You think maybe Jungkook went to bed early, considering you didn’t get a lot of sleep in the last two days. Maybe he’s asleep and will reply tomorrow…

You cling onto that hope as the sound of the rain finally lulls you to a troubled sleep.

Tuesday, July 10th

Jungkook has been in a shit mood. He knows why, and it’s strange to think that it’s not his leg for once. What makes it worse is that everyone around him knows too, thanks to the hickey on his neck.

And it’s only worse when you don’t show up to dance practice. Jiho mentions something about you being stuck at your internship, but Jungkook doesn’t ask. He feels like maybe he could text you to make sure you’re okay. His heart wants him to do it, but his mind is stronger.

And his mind has been winning the war against his heart so far. He won’t cave in now. But he’s still in a shit mood when he gets home after practice. It feels even worse when he sees Taehyung and Jo cuddled up on the couch, and Jimin sprawled up on the floor.

Jimin’s texting away on his phone, and Taehyung meets Jungkook’s gaze where he stopped by the door.

“Practice is already done?” Taehyung asks.

It brings Jimin and Jo’s attention to Jungkook. He just stands there for a time, not knowing what to say.

Not wanting to admit he wrapped dance practice earlier because he was pissed that you weren’t there.

“Yeah,” Jungkook lets out flatly. He finally starts moving again, aiming straight to the kitchen.

He misses the way Jo and Taehyung exchange a concerned look when he passes in front of them, or maybe he just ignores it. He’s been ignoring Jo since the weekend, because it feels like too much pressure to admit that her plan worked and failed in the same night.

Yes, he got to sleep with you, but he’d take it back if he could. Just so it wouldn’t lead to where you’re standing now. Because he’s never replied to your text on Sunday night. Maybe because it was too early, and seeing it just pissed him off more.

Or maybe he’s just trying to preserve himself because he’s realized being with you might be a lot more complicated than previously thought.

He’s pouring cereal in a bowl when he receives a text. He fears that he’s conjured you up for a few seconds, but then he reads the name at the head of the notification. Laura. He furrows his brows, reading her text a few times over to make sure he’s read well. On his fifth reading he reckons the words won’t change even if he keeps glaring at them.

And Laura doesn’t deserve him being upset with her too. Actually, he realizes she might be just what he needs – a distraction, perhaps. Because all he wants is to forget how it felt to be with you last Saturday. And it’s not even about the sex. No, the part that’s been sticking with him is the moment between the hot tub and the sex. When he laid his heart on the table for you.

Had he known you were going to step on it a little under an hour later, Jungkook knows he would have never asked you to dance. It was a stupid request, one that made everything too real.

He can’t really blame you for getting scared. Because he knows that’s what it is. You got scared when he told you you should have slept together before, and he’s been embarrassed since then. Because he said the words in the heat of the action, and even though he meant them – means them – he’d rather not have told you.

Because now when he thinks of you he’s embarrassed, upset, and of course he’s pissed. He’s been in a shit mood after all.

He sighs, pushing his hair back before moving to the fridge to grab the milk. He pours some in the bowl, before grabbing a spoon in the drawer and making his way to the table, where he sits to eat the cereals. He’s halfway through his bowl when he finally decides to open his phone and reply to Laura.

[9:01 pm] Laura: Hey, I gotta admit… I’d like to see you sometime this week? If you’re up for it ofc [9:08 pm] Jungkook: yes ofc! i’m free tmrw evening if u want😌

He doesn’t even know if he actually wants to see her. It makes him think of when he helped her with her camera last week. Laura is sweet. Cute and shy. She’s his type, he can’t deny it. But she’s nice, and he doesn’t think she deserves him using her as a distraction.

He reckons he’s a mess. You’ve been messing with his head far too much, and he doesn’t like that you have that power over him. He doesn’t want anyone to have that power over him.

Yet it’s relieving that for once his mind isn’t clouded with dark thoughts related to the accident. Because he can’t really think about the accident when you’re there whenever he closes his eyes. When he can almost feel your warmth lingering under his fingers, along his body. When he thinks he can still smell your shampoo, and feel your soft skin.

The way that he feels disgusts him. It makes him scoff, and he’s frowning as he finishes eating his cereals. The frown only relaxes when Laura texts him again.

[9:12 pm] Laura: I’m available too! There’s a restaurant I’ve been wanting to try? Is that something you’d like to do?

The way that she texts sounds formal. It makes him laugh, and he finds himself replying,

[9:13 pm] Jungkook: wait, so then it’s a date date uh? [9:16 pm] Laura: Maybe?☺️ [9:17 pm] Jungkook: is 7 o’clock good for u?

He doesn’t really know what he’s doing. He doesn’t usually do real dates, preferring hanging out at the girl’s place or inviting her over for one of the many parties they usually host. But he needs the distraction, right?

And when he’s texting Laura, he realizes he’s not thinking about you as much. It’s relieving after the last few days, and really, maybe he should just give her a chance.

Wednesday, July 11th

Your therapist works in a building that’s surprisingly not too far from your internship. You were able to schedule an appointment for tonight, which is a relief.

You’ve been thinking about this weekend so much you haven’t been able to focus at the internship. So much so that you were stuck at the office later yesterday. You didn’t mind having to skip the dance practice though – you were glad you didn’t have to see Jungkook.

But now, it’s time for you to sort out your thoughts about the whole situation. As much as pretending that everything is fine can be fun, you also hate the way your mind wanders every night. Especially considering Jungkook never replied to your text last Sunday.

You feel like he’s slipping through your fingers. And maybe he is, and maybe all of this will be for nothing.

Well, not necessarily nothing, since it’s always good to get a grip of yourself.

You sigh, and you walk into the building right before a rain shower starts. You’re relieved you were able to avoid getting wet, and you walk to the front desk to give your name to the lady. She puts you in the computer and then tells you to sit in the waiting room. You thank her, and you’ve barely had time to sit when Mary comes to get you.

Mary’s office hasn’t changed one bit since the last time you sought her help in February. You sit on the same couch, and she offers you a glass of water as she greets you. And then she asks what brings you there.

At that you still. You freeze, like a deer in headlights, because for a moment you’re terrified of having to say the words aloud. Terrified to admit you felt something last Saturday, and you think you’ve already screwed it all up. She listens to you intently, and you watch her scribble on her pad as you do so. You’re tempted to read what she’s written; you’ve always wondered what it is that therapists write on that notebook of theirs.

Is she piecing out your soul the way that you feel like she is?

You tell her everything. You tell her about how Jungkook came back into your life, differently this time. You tell her about the dance practices, and about your internship too. You tell her about last weekend, and you reveal every little dirty thought your brain dared to think. Mary doesn’t judge, and when you’re done, the only thing she says is, “You’re really good at psycho-analyzing yourself”.

You reckon she’s right. Because you know exactly why you acted the way that you did – with the example your parents gave you of love growing up, it’s hard to actually love. It’s even harder to deconstruct it, to deconstruct the fear until you can build yourself back into someone that can love.

It’s not that you think you can’t. You love Jiho, Jisung and their family plenty. But it’s different when it’s love with a big L. It’s always been, and you’ve never once really wanted to change it.

But now you do. You’ve been using your fears to protect yourself from others for far too long.

Mary makes a plan with you. Nothing too big, but she does suggest scheduling another appointment next week. Because you knowing what you need to do is half of the work, yes, but you still need to put it into practice. You agree with her, and you leave her office feeling lighter than you’ve felt in days.

The plan is for you to ask Jungkook if you can talk. You have the option to wait until tomorrow at dance practice, or to text him tonight, just so he knows in advance that you want to talk to him. Mary favoured the latter, saying that it’d give him time to prepare if he has things to tell you too.

You have no idea if he does, but the moment on Saturday felt heavy. You doubt there’s been nothing on his mind since then… because you were there. You know how it felt like, under the stars and after that. And the whole weekend, if you’re honest to yourself. You doubt he was immune to it.

You decide to wait a little before you text him. Just to make sure you really are going to do this. Because it feels like you’re standing at the top of a cliff, and you’ve never been a cliff diver. No, you’re far too afraid of heights. But the fact that you haven’t been able to get Jungkook off your mind tells you enough: you’d jump off the highest cliff for him.

Because if you don’t risk it, what is there to win?

So it’s later that night, when you’re rewatching your favourite anime, that you find yourself pausing the show. You go to your messaging app, and heart beating out of your chest you type a message. Something simple, something straight to the point. Because the fact he ignored your last message says enough: Jungkook won’t cave in for apologies, especially not over text.

You settle on,

[9:31 pm] You: hey jk! can we talk tmrw after practice?😌

You press send before you can convince yourself that this is not a good idea, and anxiety blooms in every inch of you. It’s a foreign feeling: you’ve never been so anxious when it came to someone else before in your life.

Watching your favourite anime after that has never been so hard.

Thursday, July 12th

You don’t want to go to practice. Everything feels like it’s going too fast and too slow at the same time: waiting for Jungkook to reply is excruciatingly long, and having to head to the dance studio is coming far too quickly.

Jungkook hasn’t replied. You texted Mary about it – she said to see in person if Jungkook wants to talk, but to also respect it if he doesn’t. It makes you far less hopeful than you were when you got out of her office yesterday, but you know she is right.

If this is his way of setting a boundary, you will have to respect. No matter how much it upsets you.

So it’s in an anxious state of mind that you make your way to the studio. You run into Jiho on the way, and you’re worrying at your bottom lip when she asks, “What’s wrong?”

Your steps falter a little, and you throw her a side glance. “Uh?”

“What’s wrong with you?” she asks.

She knows that you used to see a therapist. But telling her that you saw Mary again about Jungkook feels like too big of a confession. It gives him too much power, and you’re not sure you’re ready for that. But you can tell some parts of the truth, can you?

“I’m going to try and talk to Jungkook tonight.”

Jiho remains suspiciously silent for a time. “Are you sure you want to talk to him?”

“I guess,” you say, shrugging your shoulders. “I just feel bad about this weekend.” Jiho offers you a sad smile, as your eyes fall to the concrete in front of you. “It’s just like, I don’t know, I liked where last weekend was going and I don’t want it to go back to the way things were before.” You pause, already feeling a little lighter now that you’ve started talking to your best friend. “Like I know I got scared and all, but he’s actually pretty decent?”

Now, Jiho’s smile has turned knowing, and she nudges you with her elbow. “I think I saw that coming from miles away but I didn’t want you to kill me.”

“Uh?” you let out, feeling a little confused.

“Everyone always thought you two were into each other,” she admits, and she laughs loudly when you push her. “Exactly why I didn’t want to tell you,” she says when her laughter subsides as you offer her a fake glare, lips jutting out in a small pout.

“I mean, I don’t even know if that’s where things are going,” you say. Your fear returns, and you’re back to nibbling on your lower lip. “Like, maybe I just fucked up too bad?”

“Did you talk since then?” Jiho asks.

You refuse to look at her when you reply. “No. He ignored my texts.”

From the corner of your eyes you see Jiho wince. Because she knows just as well as you what it probably means, and you don’t want to hear her say it.

“What did you tell him?”

You shrug your shoulders, trying to act as indifferent as possible. “Sunday I said that I was sorry, and I asked him if we could talk after dance practice yesterday.”

“And he said nothing?”

It’s rhetorical, so you remain silent. You’re reaching the bridge, and you know the conversation will soon come to an obligated end anyway.

“Babe…” Jiho lets out carefully. “Maybe you shouldn’t talk to him.”

It makes you scoff. “I’ll be chill, don’t worry.”

“I’m not saying you won’t be,” Jiho says. She grabs your arm to make you stop. “Maybe he just doesn’t want to talk.”

You free your arm from her grip, though she was already letting you go. “I’ll ask. We’ll see. I just want to clear the air.”

Jiho holds your defiant gaze for a while, before nodding once. “Alright. Sounds good. You let me know what he says.” She pauses for a few seconds, before adding, “And we’re still on for Thirsty Thursdays after that.”

Of course you are, and of course you’ll tell her. She’s your best friend after all, and you don’t remember a time when you really hid anything from her.

It doesn’t stop your heart from aching in your chest as you near the studio.

*****

Dance practice feels weird. You can’t help your eyes from diverting to Jungkook where he’s standing, next to the mirrors. He’s good at pretending he doesn’t feel your gaze on him, yet more than once you catch him already looking.

He looks good. He’s in paler clothes than his usual today – light blue jeans with an oversized white t-shirt – and his hair is ruffled by the way he keeps running his hands through it. He looks like he doesn’t care, almost. Because you can tell he’s anxious about something whenever you catch him pulling at his piercing, eyebrows slightly furrowed over his eyes.

You don’t know when you started being able to read him so well, but you surely can now.

He calls dance practice off earlier than his usual, and he still hasn’t really looked at you. You’re pretty sure everyone has noticed by now, especially considering the fact Jiho hasn’t really been subtle about it. She’s glaring at Jungkook most of the time, and he just shrugs his shoulders to her.

It’s weird. Something is off, but if you’re going to do this, you’ll do it, right?

It’s in that anxious state of mind that you approach him as everyone filters out. His hands are buried in his pockets and he’s leaning against the mirror. It’s like he’s waiting for you, and you figure maybe he did read your message after all.

The first few seconds of standing in front of him are far more awkward than anything you’ve ever experienced in your entire life. You don’t know what to say, don’t know where to start, and Jungkook’s head is hanging too low for you to be able to catch his gaze without invading his personal space. So you stay rooted in your spot, and you wait for him to look at you. It takes a while, but he eventually looks up.

You’re taken aback by the bitter annoyance his features hold. “What?”

You’ve written in your notes app what you wanted to say. You’ve even practiced it, but now you don’t remember a single word.

His eyes are sad. It’s the only thing that feels different on his features. The rest is all annoyed: his eyebrows are furrowed, the corners of his lips are pointing downwards. His shoulders are low, defeated, and he seems to realize it because he straightens and folds his arms on his chest.

“Uh,” you choke out against the anxiety that’s building up inside of you. “I just…”

“If you want to apologize again, I received your message last Sunday.”

You brush a strand of your hair behind your ear, before folding your arms on your chest too. “Why did you ignore me?”

He shrugs, shaking his head a little as he looks away. “I have nothing to tell you.”

“Jungkook, can you please not? We’re adults.”

“Yeah, and I’m choosing to not be talking with you. I’m sure you can respect that?”

You can. You definitely can. But at the same time you can’t. Not when he says it like that, like it’s some sort of an insult.

“Why are you overreacting like that?”

“Because I’m fucking embarrassed about last weekend!” he bursts. “I wish it never happened.”

It hurts. It stings and burns, and you hold your arms tighter against you. “You’re embarrassed? Is that why you said you wished we did it earlier?”

His gaze turns vicious, like he’s a viper waiting to strike. “See, that’s exactly why I do not want to talk to you. I don’t think we can be friends either. We’ve never been friends, like you oh so kindly reminded me, and that won’t change.”

You close your eyes, taking a deep breath to relax, because this is not where you want this conversation to be going. “Listen,” you say after a few seconds of silence, “I really don’t want to be fighting with you. I just want to clear the air.”

“The air is cleared,” he says as you open your eyes to meet his fiery gaze again. “I don’t understand what you’re trying to do.”

You’re struck then. You feel like you either have the choice to confess or to stick to your anger. And you try to confess, you really do. It’s not like with Jiho – Jungkook was part of the moment Saturday, he was there with you under the stars. So it shouldn’t be too hard to tell him, to say you got scared.

You open your mouth to say the words, and shut it immediately as he scoffs.

“See, I don’t even think we should be speaking at all,” he says. There’s a fraction of a second when you’re convinced you can read pain in his gaze before he continues, “I’m actually seeing Laura, and I don’t want to fuck that up.”

Every word you’ve ever known vanishes from your mind. You just stand there for a moment, mouth hanging open, ears ringing as you look at him. You feel like you’re falling, or maybe you’re getting crushed. It’s hard to tell. It’s equally as hard to breathe, and your lungs burn as oxygen fills them.

“What?”

“I went on a date with Laura and I actually like the girl, I don’t want to fuck things up by talking to you,” he says, slowly, as if he needs to hammer every word into your head.

Laura? The girl from his class?

“Isn’t that the girl you told me you don’t care about?”

Your voice is somehow flat. Empty of the emotions it held just a few seconds ago.

“I went on a date with her and I like her,” he repeats as if you’re stupid and didn’t understand the first time around. As if your heart is not breaking in your chest, infinitely so.

You didn’t know how big your heart is until this moment, when every beat just breaks a little more, and all you can think to do is hold yourself tighter. As if it’ll stop the breaking.

“When?”

“Why do you want to know?” he asks, and his eyes fall shut as he pinches the bridge of his nose. You really do feel stupid then, stupid and foolish and everything in between. Like you’re a five-years-old that keeps messing her right from her left.

“I… how the fuck did you go on a date with her already, it’s been four days?”

“A lot can change in four days, Y/n,” he drawls.

You think your nails might be digging in your palms from how hard you’re clenching your fists. “Wow.”

The studio falls silent. It’s heavy, and maybe the silence is what’s been crushing you. Because you were expecting it – the moment you and Jungkook wouldn’t have anything else to tell each other. Because for everything you were willing to confess, now there’s just an empty spot inside of you.

You hold his gaze. He doesn’t look all that infuriated anymore. Defeated, yes, and maybe a little deflated. He looks like he didn’t expect the conversation to go there.

But you were right. Turns out you were right and you are too late. You can’t help but hate him for it.

“You don’t waste your time, do you?” you ask, and you scoff bitterly. “You fuck one girl and then another in just a few days. Suits you well.”

He rolls his eyes. “As I said, I wish we didn’t sleep together. If I could take last weekend back I would.” He shrugs then, shaking his head a little. “I’m sure you understand.”

You purse your lips, trying to keep them from trembling as you feel a lump form in your throat. “I can’t believe you’re already fucking some other girl.”

“Okay, Y/n, as if that’s going to change anything.”

You nod, and you find yourself fleeing his gaze. Because you don’t want him to see how you’re breaking inside. How every piece of you turns inside out, until you’re bleeding out standing there in front of him.

“Just…”

You think about the stars. You think about the way he led you in that dance, the way his eyes shone as he looked at you.

Jungkook is cataclysmic. He really is. And cataclysms are rarely good, are they? They can create, yes, the way the universe was once created, but they destroy. They destroy and destroy until nothing remains, until you just feel like you’re drowning and burning all at once.

“Save your breath,” he says. You think his gaze is shining again, and you don’t think it’s shining for the same reason that it was under the stars. “And I mean that in the most respectful way.”

“Right. As if that would ever sound respectful.”

He rolls his eyes again. “Yeah, whatever. I’m done here.”

It occurs to you that you’re about to watch someone you care about walk out of your life again. You want to reach out and hold him, to tell him how you feel, to say how everything has started to hurt, but you can’t. You can just look at him, hold his gaze until he makes the decision to go.

He’s gone before you’ve truly assimilated just how bad everything went. Just how far south things went, and how fiercely everything burns. And you stand there for a long time, holding yourself, waiting for the heartbreak to stop. But the thing with heartbreak is that it never fully stops, does it? You just learn to deal with it better.

It’s weird. You never thought you could be cold and burning at the same time. But if this is hell, then hell has frozen over because you’re shivering, just holding yourself.

You feel like you’re sixteen again, like you watched your dad walk out of your life again. Maybe because Jungkook really was the cataclysm to you, and now you’re stuck with the aftermath.

But you don’t cry. No, you hold the tears in. Force them to dry without having rolled on your cheeks, convince them that you don’t care. It’s something you’re good at. Pretending. Because maybe you’ve been pretending you hate Jungkook for a lot longer than you thought. Maybe that’s the reason why it hurts so bad.

But you won’t cry, no. You won’t cry for Jeon Jungkook.

You get home later that night, after having walked through a daze for the whole evening. You’re drunk, and you’re still aching from the inside out. Your phone is in your hand, and you’ve been on Jungkook’s conversation for so long without blinking that your eyes have fully gone dry.

You watch the text you’ve just sent, the only proof that you ever cared about Jungkook.

[2:31 am] You: i reall y wish things ddn’t go so bad

It takes you three days to realize it never delivered.

Friday, July 20th

It takes Jungkook a little under two weeks to officialise things with Laura. It’s moving quickly, he’s aware of it, but he’s been trying to ignore the way he saw your heart break in your eyes. It seems the best way to do it is to watch feelings swell in someone else’s gaze, and so he asks Laura to be his girlfriend after their third date.

She says yes, beaming like she’s the sun personified.

Still, when Jungkook closes his eyes at night, all he sees is your heart breaking in your eyes.

Prev | Next

☆☆☆☆☆

yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh.. my bad. I really went far with this angst uh? What do we think? What's going to happen next?

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starseneyes · 2 years ago

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Chenford REWIND - Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 3 Eps 7 & 8

I had a request for Episode 8, but that would mean 7 was living in a bubble without a real anchor. So, I decided to pair these two together for a two-fer.

I also realized that by getting these two written up, I'll have finished an entire season. Huzzah!

SPOILER ALERT: Standard warning applies. Please don't click the "Keep Reading" and expect not to get spoiled. I'm going to spoil these episodes (and everything that came before) to pieces. I do try to write these without foreknowledge, just so you're aware.

Kosher? Cool. Let's dive in.

"True Crime" AKA Grumpy/Sunshine Meme Activated

Lucy and Tim's First Interview

It strikes me that even as Tim is sitting down, he's turned in and looking at Lucy. At this point, Lucy is comfortable to Tim. What they're about to do isn't.

Tim hates this, but he's gonna do it. I don't know if it was a direct order from Grey, or he wanted to make sure it was done right so he was going to do it, damnit, but he's here and he's not happy about it.

Lucy, on the other hand, is thrilled. Her True Crime loving heart is filled to bursting and no doubt she's researched every person who was going to be there so she could fangirl all the more. It's adorable.

Also, these two make for good television. I mean, we already knew that, but the pretend producers happening onto this had me rolling. I bet the True Crime fans call them "Chenford" and perhaps that's the way the term might make it into the show someday.

"I'm sorry, I cut you off. I'm sorry."

She's so damn excited! And they haven't quite gotten their back-and-forth rhythm down that they will later display with gusto. It's close once she calms down, but girlfriend is thrilled right now, and Tim's "this is bullshit" meter is rising with every passing second.

"This is fun."

Tim looks at Lucy like she's grown a second head. And I'm trying to pick myself up from the floor where I've been rolling with laughter.

Look, the Grumpy/Sunshine trope is beloved for a reason, and we always knew Tim and Lucy had it in them. We've seen glimpses of it before. But sitting them down in an interview situation for an hour? This is pure gold!

I wasn't a fan at the time of airing, so I can only imaging how many memes were born out of these moments. It's amazing.

"Holy crap." "What is it?" "It's a, it's a-" "A what?" "A mummy. In a suit." "What?!"

Because, what else would a Mummy under a bed wear, right?

Eric Winter has this really wonderfully exasperated way of saying, "What!?" where you can really hear both the exclamation point and the question mark.

It reminds me of David Tenant during his run on Doctor Who. There was an entire scene in the TARDIS where he said "What!?" several times, and that was pretty much all he had to say on his first meeting of Donna.

It's. So. Funny. To have the ability to make a word funny. David Tenant and Eric Winter share that "What!?" power, and I kinda think Tim would enjoy the reference (see Season 4 to understand why).

"What's that saying? Those who can't do, teach?" *laugh*

We got a Tim laugh!? I mean, he made himself laugh, but it's still so cuuuuute. Like, rough, tough, mean-faced Tim having a chuckle is somehow so endearing. Especially at this phase, when we haven't seen him even smile much.

FAST FORWARD: There will be a day when we see smiley Tim. If you're just watching for the first time and wondering if it's coming... Tim's arc is one of the most complete (thus far) of the show. Stay tuned...

"You were literally my teacher. What are you saying?"

Ah, yes, the one indication that this episode was written in a post-"Amber" world where Lucy is no longer a Rookie.

See, the early days of COVID were a fustercluck for productions. I happen to know some people who worked through it, and there were so many different models of how to cope with it, copious amounts of hand sanitizer, masks, zones, wait periods in hotels for a week after landing, etc.

Now, there are more structured COVID protocols, but in the early days we knew so little about what was happening, and it impacted productions, ended series before they began, and delayed some seasons of shows that have now been permanently shelved.

So, Season 3's episodes aired in a very strange order compared to how it was written. Now, I'm grateful that the writers established Lucy and Tim's new dynamic early in the season so that's it's consistent, even when she's no longer his Rookie. So, I don't feel the need to call-out the air date vs production number, much.

But since the lower third provided for Tim and Lucy identified her as a Rookie, we know that this is supposed to happen during her Rookie year. But this one word lets us know something is amiss, if we're really paying attention.

And, golly, it's a word. I'm not trying to be dramatic, but trying to clarify for anyone who might not be aware of the whole Pandemic-fucked-everyone-over nature of Season 3 that makes this one word out of place.

So, if you ever wondered why Lucy used past tense instead of present tense, there's your answer.

Synchronicity

The moment they learn someone they know has been affected, they turn to one another.

And I love the synchronicity, here. Tim and Lucy have worked together a year, at this point, and they are very in sync with one another.

FAST FORWARD: Watch them undercover in 5x01 with how they sort of shift with one another, as though there's a cosmic pull between them that waves and they move with it. I feel that the evolution of their synchronicity really starts here in Season 3.

"It's LA. It's not the first time I've found a script at a crime scene." "I've only been on the job for a year and I've already found three." "Have either of you ever written one?" "God, no." *silence* "It was for a class."

Because she knows how he feels about screenwriters. If only Caleb had said "screenwriter" as his profession because then Tim would've locked him up right away.

"He was trying to cut her out—from the script, the cult, and the money."

True Crime Kink Activated. Look at how Lucy Chen is scoping out her future husband when he rattles off some Law-and-Order level soundbite. Girlfriend is surprisingly turned on at those words rolling off of his tongue. Oooh, the places that tongue could go.

*ahem* Now, Lucy's not going to jump his bones anytime soon, but there's definitely a moment there where she's finding Tim Bradford a little hotter than usual.

Who would've known the key to Lucy's heart was an oxford comma?

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, right?" "Cool. Way to trivialize female anger." "Hey, I'm not trivializing. All sorts of crimes are motivated by jealous ex-partners." "And how many of those ex-partners are men?" "Most."

See!? See what I mean!? These two are hilarious. We've seen Lucy call Tim on stuff, before, but this format is allowing them to be hilarious with it.

And I love the way he gives her the side-eye before saying "most". It reminds me of the side-eye he will give Grey in a future episode when having to tell a story he'd rather keep private.

"I heard it was Office Chen who broke the case wide open." "I don't know if I'd describe it quite that way." "How would you describe it then?"

Married. This is so married. Because Lucy is giving him the "don't try me" wife face, glaring at her man on-camera for mass consumption.

The fact that he stares right back and doesn't turn to ashes is only because Lucy didn't want to commit murder on-camera. But I love the way Melissa O'Neil is playing Lucy's confidence in this episode.

"Her addiction to social media finally paid off." "That is hurtful."

I bet he's not even on Social Media. That makes it easier for whatever relationships he'll have along the way before he and Lucy finally get it together (I have faith). No need to change your relationship status online when you don't have it listed to begin with.

That said, Lucy's Mom totally has a shadow account that she uses to stalk her daughter to spy and see if she's found a stable man, yet.

The Wrong Video

I love how embarrassed Lucy is, and how Tim tries to get a look at what the heck she played before she gets it onto the right video. He looks actively concerned. Like, "Please don't tell me you're one of those 'dance challenge' girls because I was just starting to respect you."

And, look, no shade from me. But Tim Bradford likes to throw shade, and I'm betting he'd throw some on Lucy if he'd gotten a glimpse of that video.

"Okay, look, the case was definitely weird. But, I mean, come on, all this? This feels so exploitational. The low-hanging fruit of celebrity scandal and murder."

Tim is not wrong. A lot of what is on television relating to celebrity scandal is exploitative. But I love Lucy, here. Melissa O'Neil gets a lot to play with in this episode, and she does not let it go to waste.

She has nailed the withering sigh of your wife sitting beside you as she lets you rant and dig your own grave.

"You should be making serious documentaries about things that really matter." "My last film was about climate injustice in Puerto Rico. It won a BAFTA." "Oh. Well. Alright, then."

And Lucy's withering sigh has transitioned to a knowing look. Like, Tim, you need to talk to your wife about this stuff, more. She has the 411 and will keep you from getting embarrassed.

"You got, you got something in your hair." "What?" "It's kind of-." "Has it been there the whole time?" "Yeah, it's pretty big. Let's get out of here." "I would tell you if you had broccoli in your teeth, man. What the heck?"

Am I the only one who thinks there wasn't really anything there? Because, Tim is so ready to be done with this, and Lucy's high over doing the interview is totally annoying him.

"Bad Blood"

Breaking Up... In A Text

Look, this is totally the coward's way out... but when Lucy's face lit up to see his message, I might've vomited in my mouth a little.

So, seeing him break it off brought out a little cheer. Huzzah! But, oh, no, poor Lucy. But *whispers* huzzah Chenford *whispers*.

I've never had someone break up with me over text... because the only person I've dated since Text Messaging has been widely available is my husband. I remember the first time we saw people texting all the time in England and we couldn't quite get why.

But I did have a boyfriend break up with me over the phone on my 17th birthday... the week of prom... because he was cheating on me because I wouldn't sleep with my first boyfriend 2 months into dating him. Later found out the entire reason we dated was because he had a reputation as a "de-virginator" and none of our friends warned me. I don't keep in touch with most of them anymore.

So, while I'm not quite on Lucy's level of indignation, I understand the frustration to have your boo cut it off in the most cowardly way available.

And putting Tim in the middle!? Emmett, my man, what are you doing!? You already have one half of Chenford wanting to set you on fire. Piss of Tim and he'll happily help her finish the job.

"I can't believe him... breaking up with me by text? What is he, 14? He doesn't have the guts to do it in person?" "Most guys don't."

Tim looks over to Jackson on that beat. I bet Tim would never do that, but he's also only got his own limited experience. Jackson's actually dated other men, so he knows better than Tim, in this case.

"Look, just be happy he didn't ghost you." "Can we get to work now?" "Did Emmett talk to you about this?" "No. Why would he?" "Because you're friends." "We don't talk feelings. We drink and watch sports together." "That's guy for friends." "Straight guy for friends."

I think Lucy doesn't quite yet understand what Tim considers a "friend". Because, at this point Tim does have one solid friend. Angela.

And, yes, we are in the era of Tim and Lucy being friends, but I'd argue it isn't until Season 4 when they are as interwoven into each other's lives (if not moreso) than Tim and Angela.

Also to note... Lucy is holding her phone the entire scene. She quite literally can't let it go.

"Look, you want my advice-"

She does. Look at her open-mouthed, wide-eyed, hoping he'll say something to make this atrocity better. And she did tell him that she values his opinion.

Gosh, I wish I could tell her to lower her expectations right about now.

"Walk it off. Clearly he's the wrong guy for you."

As said by her future husband. What? I couldn't leave that alone! Emmett is definitely the wrong guy for Lucy. But Tim's still learning how to comfort Lucy, and this time wow did our boy get it wrong.

"It's the same advice he would give me if I got hit by a pitch. What is wrong with men?"

Trust me, Lucy. Someday you'll come to appreciate his sports metaphors. And find a new appreciation for baseball!

Yes, I try to write these without foreknowledge, but c'mon! It's right there!

"Have you ever been dumped out of the blue before?" "Let me think. One time my wife left the house in the middle of the night and I didn't see her again for two years."

Yeahhh... Um. I'm not touching that. Because Tim Bradford's being flippant, and it's warranted here.

But (yes, there's a but), Tim doesn't understand all of Lucy's hangups about how she sees herself, yet. He doesn't fully understand the weight of her mother's expectations. And how she has never felt enough.

Like, she can handle romantic rejection. She doesn't like it, but she can handle it. But why wasn't she worth a real breakup? That's what's playing in her head. She need to know the why. Why wasn't she good enough for some basic decency?

"Okay, I get it, in the grand scheme of things, this isn't that bad. I just want to know why. Can you please ask?"

If she can understand it, she can process it. But we all know Tim isn't asking his drinking buddy about his feelings—unless that feeling is about how he feels about the Rams not living up to their potential.

"He must've been a seriously hardcore guy for you to obsess like that. What was his main crime?"

Because Tim would only obsess if it was something important, right? Right!?

"3EYEZ tagged your shop back when you were a Rookie?" "My TO was chasing a suspect. I was guarding a vehicle full of evidence." "A vehicle that was ten feet away from your Shop. It's right in your notes."

I love how Tim's trying to rationalize this away. He has a habit of doing that when he's called out—trying to minimize his own embarrassment by stating facts. (Trust me, he does it at the beginning of 5x01 with Angela)

But, Timmy, Lucy's got the facts in her hands. And you totally dropped the ball.

"I was ordered to keep my eyes on the car. I'd just left the Army where you follow orders to a T."

He thinks this'll get her to back down, but Lucy's long past being afraid of Tim. In fact, she's openly laughing at him. And I low-key love it because this is a form of flirtatious teasing.

Look, these two have a completely unique language. Pranks. Embarrassing photos. And even this harmless giggling.

They're comfortable around each other, and by now they know what's crossing the line with each other. So, it doesn't bother me that Lucy's teasing him, here. In fact, I think it's adorable.

"Oh, man, I can just imagine the relentless teasing. Did they give you a nickname? Please say yes." *yoinks paper* "No."

But your eyes say yes. Wow, now I sound like some of those creepy Christmas songs from the 50's. You know the ones.

"That's why you're so intent on catching this guy. It's personal."

Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner! Look, when Tim tried to call in the cavalry when he first saw the tag, I wondered what the hell I was missing. Lucy, apparently, was, too.

Is this tag a symbol of a gang war? Or a killing spree? What terrible, horrible thing is going to happen because of this?

Nada. Nothing. Nil. Except maybe Tim Bradford's ego getting a bit bruised.

"Even if we were to track him down for tagging our Shop, it's a misdemeanor. Is that really the best use of our time?" *yoinks another paper* "I will get us a fresh Shop."

There's something so delicious about Tim's silent protest via yoinking those papers. And Lucy knows him well enough that they're done talking.

Look, these episodes aren't about pent up sexual tension or the angst of longing. These are foundational episodes, and what we're seeing is Tim and Lucy learning to work together. They're increasingly a unit in Season 3, even though Lucy spends most of it still his Rookie.

They're learning how to communicate with one another. So, if they ever do get their acts together, they're already going to have that part down pretty well.

"Let's go. Not a word about the Shop."

He knows her well enough to know that she'll tease him. She knows him well enough that if he says he doesn't want it, she's not going to do it.

See? They're communicating!

"What? You disapprove. You think I'm just dating him to make Emmet jealous? Heck, yeah. Maybe I am. But, he deserves it. Will you say something, please?"

Lucy processes by talking it out, we know, and when Tim doesn't interject, she starts projecting. Because even she knows going out with this guy isn't purely motivated. She's hurting and lashing out, and she knows it.

Tim's simply listening. But when she asks him to speak, he realizes that's what she needs.

See? Communicating!

"Today's the first time you've talked about Emmett in weeks." "You hate it when I talk about personal stuff."

Nice excuse. Look, Tim and Lucy are mirroring each other a lot this episode. They both have personal things that they're obsessing over that are clouding their judgment and thoughts.

And they're both rationalizing. Tim rationalized missing the tagger when he was a Rookie by saying he was just following orders. Lucy is rationalizing not talking about Emmett by defaulting to Tim's dislike of personal talk in the Shop.

They're both not thinking clearly. And, of course, it takes the other to help them get through.

"And yet you still do. But in all those conversations, you haven't said one word about your boyfriend." "What are you saying?" "Look, maybe Emmett treated the relationship like it didn't matter because you treated it like it didn't matter."

The realization hits her that he's right. It's one of those rare moments where Tim's the one helping Lucy examine herself. But that's what I love about them. They help refine one another. It's a give and take, and not just one person "healing" the other.

Tim and Lucy are on their own, personal journeys to healing and self-realization. But, I'll argue, each is a vital part of that journey. But to give one or the other full credit is to ignore the individual's effort to grow.

Tim and Lucy are growing together. And I love that so much more than one patching the other up. We're not patching up holes, we're actually healing. Yes, there will always be scars. But the healing makes it all so much more bearable, and so much easier to fully live, again.

But when he sees the realization hit her, his gaze softens. Tim hates to see her in pain. But we're not quite at the point where he's going to offer her comfort, especially on the job.

After all, Lucy is still his Rookie, and he needs to keep the lines firm between them. Because, if he were honest, he'd realize they're already getting blurrier and blurrier.

"Alright. Focus up. You read the file. Do you think 3EYEZ is done for the day?"

Tim's trying to get her back on track, like he has so many times before. But, Tim knows her well enough to know that sometimes barking out orders isn't enough for Lucy.

She needs something to help her switch her brain, something else to think about. They've done her mock-plan of how to sabotage her ex's wedding, before. This time, Tim tries a different tactic—he offers a piece of himself.

"Eagle Eye."

Lucy looks at him with confusion while I shove my face into a pillow so the kids don't hear me squealing and come running in here, mistaking it for screaming.

Tim doesn't have to do this. But he wants to. He wants to let Lucy Chen in just a little more.

"What?" "The nickname I got. After the Shop got tagged right under my nose." *giggle* "But it wasn't my TO who came up with it. It was Isabel. It kind of became her pet name for me." "Aw. That's sweet."

It's still hard for him to talk about Isabel. Those wounds are still healing, even though he's tested the dating pool a little. And it's important to remember that he and Isabel did have good times. There was a time when Tim had a lot of happiness in his life.

But he opens up a little to Lucy, here. He gives her insight. He gives a little of himself. And that's huge. He's starting to talk about Isabel without tearing up, without scowling, without the same agonizing pain striking his chest.

It still hurts. To a degree, it'll always hurt. But it's starting to heal. And I love that when he's starting to get healthier, the first person who gets to see it is Lucy.

We're not to the point of them swapping saliva and dreaming of the other's taste. But, we're building a really solid friendship. Heck, Lucy giggled when Tim opened up just now.

And I've talked about it a bit in this Meta, but I think it's important to draw out that Lucy has become comfortable to him. Why is this important?

FAST FORWARD: Remember the famous double date of S4? Why did Tim invite Lucy? Because he wanted a source of comfort in this truly uncomfortable situation. So, later when Bargain Barbie remarks about his creature comforts and about how he needs to get out and do more... nobody takes into account that Lucy is one of his comforts. So, once he and Lucy start dating, they are out all the time together. Why? Because he doesn't need all the other comforts when he's with her. Lucy is his comfort.

Thank y'all for reading and going on this journey with me. I think with this Meta, I've finished my tour of Season 3! It was a short season, so that made it a bit easier to chunk out.

And sorry this one took so long. My roof's leaking and it looks like I'm emptying out my 401K to replace it. It's always something, but I remain grateful. I've faced my death a few times in my lifetime, so every day I'm given is an absolute gift.

Just gotta take it one breath at a time.

#Chenford #Lucy Chen #Tim Bradford #Melissa O'Neil #Eric Winter #The Rookie #Meta #Lucy x Tim #Tim x Lucy

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ambeauty · 11 months ago

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"About the Blogger" Meme

Thank You @bioloyg for tagging me! I haven't talked about me in a minute!

Star Sign(s): Scorpio Sun, Capricorn Rising, Taurus Moon

Favorite Holidays: Halloween, it's a week before my birthday! And it's fun af!

Last Meal: Lasagna 👩🏾‍🍳

Current Favorite Musician: ¿Téo? Is my current favorite. My all time are Hayley Williams, Justin Nozuka, Beyoncé

Last Music Listened To: GUTS

Last Movie Watched: Renaissance a Film by Beyoncé! But also I watched 3 movies in 1 day and they were all good. Killers of the Flower Moon devastating and rage inducing! But such a good movie. Cinnamon, a tubi original but the romance and violent crime drama was top tier not gonna hold you!

Last TV Show Watched: My Life with the Walter Boys and Real Housewives of Potomac… I never promised to be more than what I am which is a trash tv watcher 🤭

Last Book/Fic Finished: Novella: Snow Place like LA, Novel: Salt Kiss, Fic: I’ve read too many!!! Ok wait this fic destroyed me recently: Epicure Sydcarmy Army IT’S FIRE!

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: The Vampire Queen 😩 I will be coming back to it! Just trying to be festive 😭

Currently Reading: Merry Little Meet Cute and just started Manacled today (👀 never read HP fic before)

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: Cape Verde so I could detail it accurately as the non-outer space location of Tamaran for my Bonnie and Clyde Non-Powered DickKory AU. I wanna go there so bad now!!

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: Breaking down over Brenton’s Birthday post that he dedicated to Anna. That was a WILD day in titans fandom! On here and on Twitter 😭

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: Bonnie Bennett, I was so late but the content was still flowing! Haven’t checked her tag in a minute! Bamon/Klonnie were my faves. And Spideychelle I miss them because there’s some good fucking writers in that fandom but idk I fell off for some reason.

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: Upload and Citadel! Those shows are soooo good! If I hadn’t become obsessed with The Bear this summer I would probably be writing shit for Citadel. Upload is just so fun!!!

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: Any of my Sydcarmy ideas! And I have a lot 🤭 but I must finish my DickKory AU before year end!

Besties please feel free: @escapism-through-imagination @jonskory @lyanaalvarado @graysonfamfan2021 @not-so-mundane-after-all @selinascatnip @songbee @meetmeunderthestarrynight

#tag game

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wejustvibing · 11 months ago

Note

Whether it's F1twt or F1blr, I think there are people who come to you when something bad happens, probably because you're one of the (rare) people who have a good opinion. Thanks for being a great sounding board even though you don't have to be.

and thanks also to the questioner(s) of these, https://www.tumblr.com/wejustvibing/737884653669793793, https://www.tumblr.com/wejustvibing/737901583259566080 ; and to your response.

Enjoying F1 as a non-heterosexual asian woman is such a painful ambivalence - the myth of meritocracy and all that old-fashioned misogyny and racism and so much more; and then - at least - we have SLH.

Bianca's behaviour is disappointing, and her subsequent apology is much more disappointing to me, but she's still young; and when we consider all the opportunities that have been given to white male drivers with similar or greater experience, it's really, really sad that some in the fandom seem to want to "cancel" her, because when white male european drivers with 10+ seasons in F1 have made worse comments, we're told we should forgive him because they're "young" and "will learn"?

And it's almost 2024. hopefully, in the new year, we can all be a little bit better. May you always be well and happy holidays with everyone around you.

her apology is not for me to accept or reject. but it's heartbreaking, now she's already given ammunition to those looking for a reason to hate on women in f1 for example. they don't even give a fuck about the ableism or lance for that matter, they just needed a reason. i will say though dragging her brother into it was not cool. idk who was guiding her or if she acted on her own. but, let's hope she learns from this. the fans will definitely keep using this until she shows some real signs though because that's how it goes.

anyway, but you're so right! painful is the correct word. enjoying f1 is honestly so tiring. the clownery from the governing body, media, drivers AND shitty car aside, it is painful if you are not a straight white male who follows f1. why lie. i miss it when i wasn't involved in fandoms. i saw this meme the other day and it's literally me.

like nothing against teamlh, i love myself some passionate bunch of people and they're the reason i found a community and outlet after AD21. but overall it's so draining consuming this and even harder not to react. which i used to find easier when i wasn't updated. i still avoid giving my opinion on every little thing because there's so much lol but then something like this happens and people want to vent to you or want your pov. that's what most anons do here. if some shit's gone down, you best believe that ask box is a bulletin board.

but, thank you! we do be just vibing here <3

and you're way too hopeful for 2024. please preserve that hope and maybe share your secret with me lol and happy new year to you and yours!!!

#anonymous

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dvilsdesire · 3 months ago

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MUN MONDAY: GETTING TO KNOW YOU

Respond to the following prompts out of character, then tag others you'd like to get to know a little bit better!

ROLEPLAYER NAME: You can call me Owl, or Sam. :) Whatever you prefer.

ROLEPLAYER PRONOUNS: He/Him

MUSE NAME: Haarlep.

PREFERRED COMMUNICATION: I'm fine with either IM's or Discord. Time zones are a bit shit for me since I live in Australia, but I'll catch you when I can.

EXPERIENCE: I've been Rping way over a decade now. On tumblr? Since... 2012, I think? But waaay before then, back in probably 2007 or something. I've Rped on multiple platforms.

PREFERRED ROLEPLAY TYPE: I greatly prefer para/novella. I like delving into a character's mind and thought process. I know I write a LOT of inner monologue for my muses as well, I actually STRUGGLE with short replies, so when someone gives me a single para or line... it's really difficult for me to match that short length, but it's also something that I don't really vibe with. I greatly prefer longer replies. I want to delve into characters and see how they react, I want to learn all of those little things about your muses as well. I'm a sucker for character development. I'm also a fan of the nitty gritty.

PET PEEVES & DEALBREAKERS: One line responses. Please, for the love of god... give me something to work with. It's a quick way for me to show disinterest and likely not really reach out to write with unless it's something that I am REALLY enjoying for small snippets. But please, I greatly prefer longer replies. Short ones also make me feel like you're just not interested in what my characters have to say :/ Please read my rules, whilst I know we can't remember EVERYONE'S rules (seriously, I forget as well!), it is obvious when people don't. If my muse is a muse of power or something, then please treat them as such. If your muse ends up wanting to attack or something, and they are of a lower class... then they won't win. It's just that simple. Respect the power of certain muses.

PLOTS OR MEMES: I like both and am fine with both. Whilst I LOVE plotting and getting to know muses and getting an idea of where we can go, I also understand that sometimes our brains are just too tired from real life and memes can be something simpler and quicker. I think both of them are very good for very different reasons, which I'm fine with both. By all means, memes are EXCELLENT ice breakers imo, and then we can always plot something once we've established a little starter. :)

LONG REPLIES OR SHORT REPLIES: Long, lol. As covered in my previous responses.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: I get a lot more done when I'm writing in the mornings. Obviously due to work, I am tired in the evenings, so I get very little done (Haarlep has certainly reawakened my muse tho I'm shocked at how much I've been writing on my work nights lol). I mostly write on Fridays as it's the only day I have to myself, so I try and churn out as many replies as I can, but once it hits the afternoon, I'm pooped lol. So yeah, mornings are definitely best!

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES: Haarlep? Absolutely not. Haarlep caught me by utter surprise when it came to being a muse of mine. I saw him once, had a little laugh, and suddenly he wouldn't leave my mind, and then I just... had the persistent urge to write them. I'm very happy that he did come to me, though, as he's really been helpful in making me come back to RP on a more regular basis and I've had such a good time exploring him. But no, we're absolutely nothing alike. Haarlep is an incubus, and I'm asexual as fuck lol. If anything, and don't take this the wrong way because it's probably going to sound BAD lol, but I have more in common with Raphael than I do with Haarlep X'D and that's... saying something, since I am not an evil devil hahaha. The only thing I think I could say about me and Haarlep being similar is the fact that I can mask like a beast in public. (: Even then, that's entirely different to what Haarlep is doing, I'm just masking because I'm austistic and people have expectations of me in society lol, Haarlep is masking because he's trying to seduce and eat someone hahaha.

Tagged by: @shimmerbeasts Tagging: @astralrogue @chaoticbard @dcwncametheclaw @galefcrce @azzagrazt and anyone else! Tag me so I can read :)

#ooc #the mod #dash games

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iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia · 1 year ago

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Hi. I'm just curious. Maybe You can explain it or telle.how it works!? I have no idea...

There is a thing with new blogs or blogs that are not 100% arcana related that make really nice fan arts or headcanons or memes that are totally lacking in likes and reblogs and then some posts just randomly hit 200 hearts in one day. Does it have something to do withcreator past on Tumblr or there are some unwritten rules or it's just magic of followers and users not checking the arcana tag in main searching bar ? Because sometimes I see good content (or something that looks nice for me) and I don't know if I should like or reblog it because there moght be a secret thing a untold story of person x being problematic in past or something and no one tell others or it's just accidental lottery of what will be enjoyed by mass or what will stay in shadows? Please I'm sometimes literally afraid of liking something if main popular blogs don't attest it before me as nice or safe.

An Arcana Brainrot Essay

Hiya friend!

I get where you're coming from, and to be completely honest, this is something I struggle with a lot in fandom spaces too. I'm going to go ahead and write my little (700 word) essay response in hopes that you find something useful here. I don't have all the answers, but I do have a few tips that have helped me. :)

(You can skip straight to the bold part for my older sibling thoughts on toxic fandom spaces)

About the random posts blowing up, tumblr as a platform works differently from other social medias in that it doesn't really have an algorithm. You encounter new content mostly through what the blogs you follow post/reblog and through the tags you follow. Don't feel weird about checking the tags too often, I scroll through the Arcana's tag at least four times a day because I like to obsess like that. ^.^

Newer blogs also won't have their posts show up until they've been posting regularly for some time (I think it took mine two weeks), and then there's factors like blaze and different posting times to consider. It's not weird to engage with something that has very few likes. It most probably just means that other people haven't had the chance to see it.

About problematic creators and the toxic side of fandoms:

One of the special things about being part of a fandom is sharing an emotional investment in the same content with a whole group of people. Fictional characters, situations, and stories have a capacity to speak to us from inside our imaginations and emotions in a way that most real people can't. It's what fuels such a deep attachment to the content we enjoy together.

It's also why seeing content that you find problematic or maybe just don't vibe with can feel so upsetting. It's easy for creators to say "if you don't like it, scroll past," but that can be hard to do when it concerns a character you're deeply invested in. It takes a decent amount of emotional maturity to agree to disagree with someone's opinions or viewpoints when it's about something that's personally impactful.

The way people follow through on that really ranges. Some people like characters that make them feel safe or comforted, so they stick to the parts of the fandom that focus on canon-typical things and don't delve too much into personal opinions and interpretations. Other people really benefit from using characters and dynamics they relate to to unpack certain things, and that's where you'll find a lot more opinionated discourse. And where you find opinions, you'll find disagreement, and when that disagreement concerns emotionally charged subjects, things can get heated and hurtful.

My point is that different types of content engage different types of conversations. Feeling fear or anxiety around which conversations you find yourself in is completely valid, especially when you're not sure who you're listening or talking to. I have two pieces of advice for this:

First, choose wisdom over fear. Make wise choices. If you see something you really like, don't engage with it mindlessly. Think about what you're looking at and recognize what it means to you, and then any engagement that comes of that is a decision you can grow from. If someone asks you later, "why did you like this?" you'll have a good reason, even if it wasn't well informed.

Second, know what you're looking for. All fandoms have toxic and problematic sides, just like how all people have toxic and problematic sides. What makes a difference is what you choose to do with it.

When you want to know if something is good but you're not in a position to judge it, take a look at the space around it. Take a look at the effect it has on other people. Who would feel welcome on this page? Who wouldn't? Who would feel respected by this creator? Who wouldn't? Why is that?

This sounds like a lot of work to do when all you want is to enjoy something you love with other people who love it too. For what it's worth, it gets easier as your brain builds these thought habits. You'll find your space and your people in good time. That's what fandom is really all about in the first place!

If you can't find a logical reason but something or someone just gives you the ick, trust your gut.

Even when you see something that hurts your connection to a character or story you're invested in, learn how to step away.

If you find something new and you're not sure what to think, keep your mind open and engaged.

And finally, be ready to make mistakes. Be ready for the creators you admire to make mistakes. Learn how to forgive yourself, and you'll find that forgiving others comes a little bit more easily too.

Cheers friend, and may you find every good thing you're looking for!

- brainrot

#ask arcana brainrot #the arcana #fandom #fandom culture #fandom essay

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hollowfaith · 2 years ago

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✧･ﾟ:* PERMANENT RELATIONSHIP/PLOTTER CALL

hi have you ever been touched by an angel anyways you know the drill please like this post to give me permission to:

hop into DMs for plotting (short or long term)

send you starters/minis (with permission)

@ you or drop into your inbox

throw memes + headcanons about our muses

[insert stuff between us here]

as for relationships here's how aurelius would classify potential candidates:

𖤍 FRIENDS (derogatory 💔) - it's easy to be his friend even if you're just a lowly mortal, as long as you're interesting or different in some way. are you motivated by a goal or crippled by expectations? is something about you fundamentally wrong or broken? talk to him, he's a good listener and he loves to ramble, especially if it's philosophical discussions or chats over tea or advising someone after hearing their sob story (humans get emotional over the funniest things). he can't help the holier than thou attitude, but he's great at keeping his condescending thoughts to himself and treating you almost like a real friend! so there's that. most of his "human friends" fit here because of his superiority complex >w>

𖤍 FRIEND (affectionate 💖)* - unlike fake friends you get to be real friends if he sees you as an equal. the easiest way to get there is to be as cool and strong as klaus. or you beat aurelius himself somehow (but you need to convince him to accept the results first). please be okay with murder and cannibalism before you apply. he doesn't have any real friends (not even klaus) so you'd be one of a kind, which makes you special. but do you really want to shoulder the pressure of someone who knows too much for the rest of your days...

*(limited to 1 slot only for now, everyone else is just friends [derogatory] to some extent, alas)

𖤍 ENEMIES 😡 - be a demon (sorry angel prejudice here). ruin his suit one too many times (he believes in 3rd chances but no more). it doesn't matter if you're nasty or mean or sinful (those are interesting), the issue is trying to drag him in with you when he says no (those are annoying). trying to control him in anyway. trying to control or take klaus in anyway. generally getting in his way. not all enemies are kill on sight, most just get demoted to the friends (derogatory) category if they're a waste of time or get more of his time in return, because you can't stand him either and misery loves company.

𖤍 SERVANTS/SUPPLICANTS...? 🙏- do you like to take care of people. do you enjoy the freedom of following orders. are you okay with prostrating yourself at random intervals to offer prayers and praise to some self-entitled stranger. have you given up on life and just want guidance. OK, then submit your hand for the standard brainwashing procedure (a formality for now until it's actually unlocked) and let him look after you, you poor lost lamb.

PROS: he will come to your events in support (like a soccer mom) and protect you while looking great doing it too;

CONS: you're more of a possession than a person so your rights don't really exist (but that doesn't matter too much in normal life anyways)!

YMMV: no insurance package included but you do get complimentary healing/blessings against demons* for life? *this and all other perks pending unlock of abilities

𖤍 DEPENDENTS 🙇 - you don't actually worship him but you sure do rely on him a lot (mentally/physically/emotionally/whatever), and for some reason he humors you because he thinks it's fun. maybe you consider him your mentor or savior, maybe he considers you his pawn or toy. less expectations and responsibilities from both sides but you can still call on him in a pinch, you just won't be his first priority if he's busy. also, he's nice to you. always. because you're just that pathetic worth it. : )

𖤍 TRUE NEUTRAL 🤝 - you're not weak-willed enough to be used but not strong enough to overpower him, you're just there. maybe both of you have something useful (intel. chess games. recipes?) to offer the other and that's why you get along. you might help each other one day and stab each other in the back the next, but that's fine because you weren't friends (or enemies) to begin with, yes? good for...business associates/drinking buddies. less manipulation and minimum disdain (if any) here, there's polite indifference on both sides.

𖤍 "LOVE" RIVAL....? ?? 💀 - for the love of god if you like klaus or have close relations with klaus you are automatically on this list and need to get off it or get a lover so he can ignore you permanently. a better category than enemies because he doesn't try to destroy you on sight, but the guy sure knows how to smile and glower at the same time. danger level expected to increase after he actually starts developing the right feelings towards his "partner." perhaps you want him to remain oblivious indefinitely instead.

𖤍 ROMANCE 😂 - there's only one person he's obsessed with at the moment but if you one-sided crush him obviously enough he will take pity on you and give you token chocolates on valentine's and etc. so that you don't die of a broken heart (or embarrassment). it's only natural for him to have adoration from multiple sources even if he never returns those feelings, so if you're fine with treating him as some otome game boyfriend come to life with no real results he doesn't mind playing along. it's kind of a mercy for you to be loved this way, don't you think?

𖤍 OTHER 🤔- make up your own category lol

#isola plotter call #isola rp ad #he's doing this bc klaus is too don't look at me >_>;

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the-vault-apprentice · 2 years ago

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I feel the discourse has a lot to do with the russian-ukranian war and its just in poor taste? like maybe the mindset is they should have done this earlier when a war WASNT going on, so it wouldnt trigger players but as far as ive seen, there was a war cutscene in aurora too, so i was just wondering whats the difference, or are people also upset about it too

The only difference, as far as I know, is that rather than a battle, this is a more human side of war. The parts that aren't fair, the parts that hurt people who had not a damn choice in the matter. It's not soldiers fighting soldiers or people fighting monsters, it's cruelty towards ordinary civilians.

I'm not a beta player, so my knowledge of the upcoming season is extremely limited, but that would be my best guess. That it paints a picture of suffering unlike the bodies on the Wasteland's Battlefield- They're already dead, it's over for them. These ones are not dead and therefore still in pain, and they should not be. There's no REASON for it- But war is unreasonable and greed is selfish. The lives of even the ordinary people were ruined by the pursuit of power.

I'll admit with how chaotic and unstable my home life has been, I completely forgot there was an actual war going on on the other side of the world. I've been more concerned with trying to survive the next day at a time myself, but I think it's just an unfortunate coincidence. I highly doubt TGC would do that on purpose- Most likely they'd already had this season planned for after Aurora, and it's not like they could just throw together a whole different one quickly enough, not without a TON of complaints and/or extremely overworked staff. The last few seasons have been alternating between light and dark, and it makes perfect sense to show us the cruelty of the king after the kindness of Aurora.

Besides, I've heard it's going to be called the season of Remembrance, and like.... Yeah. It's important. This happened in their world, and these people deserve to be remembered. I'm not defending the people making memes about the spirit being arrested or anything like that, this is a season that will need to be handled with respect and it's not going to be for everyone. And that's completely fine! I just don't appreciate people coming after the idea of the season itself or acting like it's some kind of huge moral failure on TGC's part. You're under no obligation to enjoy the season or participate in it, but to completely attack it before it's even gone live? Please, some of us use fictional despair to cope with the tragedies we can't change in our own life. Let those of us who want to enjoy the dark underside of Sky's story do so, please. We shouldn't be mocked for being excited about lore, either, cuz they said that too. That people didn't care it was horrible because "OMG cosmetics!!!!" and "✨Lore✨" but... At least there IS lore. At least there IS a story to be told- even a sad one- as opposed to real-life pain which isn't always clear cause and effect and you go your whole damn life wondering why-

Sorry. Got a bit off track. But I think people upset by the new season in beta need to step back and remember none of it is real and nobody is forcing them to play. And I think those of us who choose to play have an obligation to handle the heavy subject in a respectful manner, as well. So while I do plan to play through the Season of Remembrance, I can assure you there will be no ridiculous memes or fruitless attempts at humor. It is a tragedy unfolding in front of me, and I will give it the treatment that calls for. Joy at the life lived and the chance to help these spirits move on, gratitude for their gifts, and yes, sorrow at the suffering.

#wish upon a star #charmycharmcharms

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dilfjohnnyaf · 3 years ago

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Boyfriend Material

Pairing : Dom! Jaehyun x sub!fem reader

Genre : smut with plot, unprotected sex, jealous sex , shower sex , fluff if you squint lol, Friends to Lovers, lil bit of humour too cuz what's life without a bunch of memes🥴💃🏻

WARNING : 18+ content, minors dni.

A/N: heyy you guys it's me!! I hope y'all enjoy this fic. Please leave some comments abt your thoughts and please reblog. I'd very much like to know what you think about my fics 💓. Les go😽

------------------------------------------------------------

You and Jaehyun have been besties for over 4 yrs now and did practically everything together. You were so close that ppl thought y'all were dating-

Like what?!

Jaehyun never showed any type of interest in dating you ..... That's what you thought until the day when Yuta called you to hang out with NCT. Nothing new in that, you knew NCT and they knew you

Y'all went to the amusement park that day and after a few rides Haechan being the sneaky bij he is, suggested that we all should ride the Disco Pang Pang.

So you were dragged to the ride despite you saying "IM WEARING A FUCKING SKIRT I CAN'T RIDE!" (but you can lol)

You sat beside Johnny during the ride and as expected your skirt was flying and you were desperately trying to not show ur panties to the boys and the struggle was FOR REAL! but Johnny boy being the gentleman he is put his hand over your legs and held the skirt in place.

So you survived the ride and yall said your goodbyes and went your ways. Jaehyun came with you to drop you home. N the whole ride home he didn't say a word. You tried to start up a conversation like" Today was fun right?"

N he literally goes "Yea whatever"

Like what-

Anyways maybe he was just hangry ig🤷🏻‍♀️

Time skip to y'all reaching home and he agreed to come inside for some beer

You was looking for the beer cans in the fridge and Jae was taking a shower in the spare bathroom. You went in room to change and while you were in your bra and panties he just walked in 😶.

INSTANT PANICK 2.0

You were trying to cover yourself and said "Omgg Jaehyun you should've knocked!"

"I'm glad I didn't"

Boi what-

He walks over to you and says " I saw you during the Disco Pang Pang ride and Johnny's hand was on your lap"

"Yea that's bcuz my skirt was flying and I didn't want y'all to see my panties"

He says " I'll let it slide this time...Don't let him touch you again"

"Let it slide what? Stop acting like you're my boyfriend Jae"

Something inside him snapped.

He wrapped his hand around your neck and said " Well I'm about to change that tonight" Without wasting another second he kissed your lips. Seeing that you weren't kissing back he bit your lip. You opened your mouth and he slide his tongue in. You couldn't think of anything else and kissed him back.

Jaehyun removed his hand from your neck and let it travel up and down your body. He grabbed your ass and spanked it make you jump and wrap your legs around his waist. He entered the bathroom and turned on the shower without breaking the kiss. Cold water started flowing down your bodies and you said "Jaehyun its uncomfortable in my wet underwear"

He said "Then lemme get rid of it"

He turned you around so that your back was facing him. He unclipped the bra and immediately started massaging your boobs.

"Jaehy- ahahhh" you moaned. You leaned your head back on his shoulder and moaned. While his left hand was playing with your breast, his right hand snaked down to your panties and started playing with your pussy. "Omg-"

"Saying something kitten?" he said with a smirk.

Jaehyun rubbed and pinched your clit making you moan like a animal in heat.

He removed your panties and inserted his long fingers in your pussy and slowly started finger fucking you. "Jaehyun faster please" you begged. He removed his fingers making you whine like a child . He turned you around and slammed you against the cold wall.

"You don't deserve to call me by my name. Its Sir from now on."

Before you could say yes he kissed you and stared finger fucking at the speed of light.

"Sir slow down please- ahhhhh"

You came on his fingers and your legs gave out. You sank on the floor, panting and looked up to see Jaehyun sucking on his fingers tasting you. " Sweet like honey. You blushed and looked down. "Get on your knees and suck me" You got on your knees while he removed his boxers. His hard dick sprung out ,you immediately started rubbing his shaft up and down. You gave his slit a few kitten licks and kissed it. His dick was already dripping precum. "Kitten don't tease me or I'll make sure you regret it"

"Yes sir " you said and took him in your mouth. You started bobbing your head up and down slowly first and then gained speed. You looked up to see Jaehyun with his head thrown back and his mouth open.

"Aaahghaahgh" he pushed your head deeper on his cock and released his load in your mouth. Now you understood why they say hearing a man moan is heavenly.He let your head go and you opened your mouth with your tongue out so that spit and cum drooled down your tits.

You swallowed the remaining cum, "Stand up " he said you stood up and he pushed you against the wall, wrapped your right leg against his waist and positioned himself.

He slid himself in you and took a minute to adjust to the feeling. The next moment he was thrusting in and out of you like a wild animal. You tried not to be loud and accidentally let out a involuntary moan when he hit your g-spot.

"Found it" he said with a cocky smirk and kept slamming into your g-spot. You could see Jaehyun thrusting into you like a wild animal.

"Sir I'm cumming-"

No you're not. You will not cum unti I say so."

"Sir please let me cum" you cried

"Just a little bit longer kitten"

"Now- Ahhhhhhhgghh" he said

"Fuck ahhaahhh"

Jaehyun came in you and you came on his dick. You both were panting with his cock still inside you. "Well that was wild" you said

"And so fucking hot" he added while kissing you.

"Sooo we're dating now?" he asked

"yess we are baby" you said

Jaehyun and you started showering when you suddenly realised, "hey... did you use a condom?"

"Oh fuck-"

"JAEHYUN I COULD GET PREGNANT WTF!!!"

Fin💓

#nct smut #kpop smut #nct 127 smut #nct hard hours #nct #jaehyun fic #jaehyun scenario #jung jaehyun #jaehyun hard hours #jaehyun #nct jaehyun #nct scenarios

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wh6res · 3 years ago

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127 SQUAD AND ROMANTIC BF TINGS

tw a lil bit of suggestive on jae's but nothing explicit

✰ — TAEIL would sing lullabies over the phone or video call. you and him would just be doing your own thing, not talking but enjoying being each other's presence. he'll probably pull out his guitar and start singing random songs until he eventually notices you fell asleep on him. will not end the call and when you wake up in the morning, his snores and his cute sleeping face is the first thing you see. "love? you still there? ... taeil?" then laugh out loud when you hear his snores instead. "okay yeah lets sleep more" the call will only end probably because his phone died. he kinda strikes me as a guy who's phone is always < 50% battery lmao

✰ — JOHNNY is your everything. literally. as long as he has the power of youtube, google, and instruction manuals on his side, he can fix anything and everything for you. we've all seen him do crafty things on jcc lmao so it'll probably apply to relationships as well. will 100% say you now owe him cuddles for fixing something for you. you kinda dont like the fact that he's doing all these things for you so you try doing them on your own without him knowing only to fail big time. "what did we learn today?" "never touch the pipes under the sink" "and?" "and always ask johnny for help" "nuh-uh thats not how i said it" you sigh exasperatedly "always let my smokin hot amazing handsome boyfriend johnny suh get the job done"

✰ — TAEYONG doesn't care whether you take the time shopping or not. in fact, he loves seeing you all excited and giddy for pampering yourself as you should. totally the type to hold the paper bags even if you complain and say you can manage on your own. is a complete angel and will wait patiently outside changing rooms and will give you genuine insight he has of the clothes you picked. "that looks nice. you should get that. the length is just right and the sleeves help accentuate your waist" "really yongie?" "yes love. i mean you look pretty in everything anyway" miss ma'am my heart just fucking melted ?¿?

✰ — YUTA doesn't look like it but will exert real effort into things. would be the type to have a note or a google doc about your favorite orders from restaurants because he just loves how your eyes light up appreciatively and you look so smitten by him. its like a cheat sheet. eventually he memorizes the list with how much time he spends with you and he wont even need it. the type to always bring you food before meeting you (if its just hanging out inside the house). "no way! i was just craving for these!" he smiles before kissing your forehead, volunteering to put the food out its container for you. "i figured. you'd been working since this afternoon. lets eat first then you can tell me about what you've been working on so i can help you, okay?"

✰ — DOYOUNG loves cooking for you. i highkey feel like its his love language? like cooking for you and seeing your eyes light up as it darts back to him after you take your first bite from whatever he cooked just gives him so much happiness. its disgustingly sappy and he doesn't like talking about it. now he understood fully what it meant to see your loved ones eating and being full yourself or some shit. idk how the actual quote goes okay dont come 4 me but u probably get it. anyway the type to always pack you lunch and will get hella mad if you skip meals. "what do you mean you havent eaten yet?" "yeah but i will after i--" "you mean you're going to eat Now?" "what? no maybe later--" "thats it im coming over"

✰ — JAEHYUN would be the type to make you playlists. its really random sometimes he'll send them to you in the early morning for the heck of it bc he cant sleep. most of the time its him being horny lmao the frat boy in him awakening and sending you a playlist called imma blow your back out or something extremely cringey and thirsty pls dont block his sorry ass maybe he'd spell out the words using song titles too! idk jae just rlly strikes me as a guy who's love language is music. "hey babe did you check the playlist i sent you?" "wtf its 4am???" "oh so you havent listened to it yet?" "fuck off" but at the end of the day he'll come over and will use the playlist to,,, you know,,, do the sexy thing ;)

✰ — JUNGWOO always makes sure you walk on the inside of the road. you know when you're walking in the street and he softly nudges your waist? yes. will probably even scold you playfully because with how long its been since you both are together, "babe you always walk on the inside of the road how many times do i have to tell you?" is also the type to remind you to wear your seatbelt immediately after hopping onto his car. would ask you Again while in the middle of the car ride because he forgot that he already asked you earlier. please don't mind him he's just looking out for you bb. "seatbelt?" "yes, babe. already done" "are you sure? i dont think i heard it click--" "babe eyes on the road please" "oh right sorry"

✰ — MARK sends you tiktoks, vines, or memes. this is his love language fite me im calling it. he just wants to see you laugh too okay? thats why he does it. i mean it made him laugh, so maybe it will you laugh too. also because he hopes to make inside jokes with u cuz he believes thats how people really get close and stuff. would definitely love it if you do the same thing with him. you'd be chilling in the sofa while khalid plays on the bluetooth speaker and he'll suddenly go "babe babe babe check this out!" then you both proceed to laugh at a vine for the next thirty minutes <3 #living.the.yn.life

✰ — HAECHAN will do your skincare for you when you're drunk or super tired that you just passed out cold on the bed. would probably come into the room to see you snoring and tutting bc now he has to do it for you again but meh deep down he loves it because he enjoys admiring your sleeping face. its sorta like a healing thing for him? yeah it just washes away all the stress he's feeling and bb is just excited about the idea that this becomes "your thing" with him if u get what im saying? altho the next day he'll probably use it as a leverage to get out of chores :) "no way im not folding our clothes" "and why is that?" "i took your make up off yesterday u know how hard that is? im still tired" "but its literally the next day--" "awww thank you for doing my chores, baby! u the best!" ._.

#nct #nct 127 #jaehyun #taeyong #taeil #johnny #yuta #jungwoo #haechan #mark #doyoung #nct 127 headcanons #nct 127 hcs #nct headcanons #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 x reader #nct 127 x y/n #nct 127 x you

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thunderheadfred · 3 years ago

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❄️Todoroki HC's🔥

Aged-up pro hero Shouto. NSFW under the cut. Minors do not interact.

- - -

General

Might as well be tied with Bakugou for the #1 pro hero spot; they seem to pass the crown back and forth every other year. Everyone knows about their intense frenemies uber-rivalry. Well. Everyone but Shouto.

He's asked to speak at a lot of charity events. If he has time to prepare (and hire a speech writer) he is capable of stirring crowds to standing ovations. But if caught unawares... he gets cornered into hilarious on-the-spot interviews. He's been memed. Mercilessly.

He's an OP character, but unfortunately he rolled -500 in fashion sense. Eventually he wises up and hires a stylist. When he finally cuts his hair a slightly different and even more flattering way, it's a national event. People faint in the street.

Does god-awful sleight-of-hand magic tricks when he meets young fans, even though nobody asked him to. The second-hand embarrassment is palpable. But he keeps doing it. God, why does he keep doing it?

Has hovering arm syndrome in every fan photo.

Super into pop music. Not a fan of any particular group or artist, couldn't tell you the name of a single song. But every time he turns up the volume on the radio it's like... really? THIS? Probably pumps that shit through his hero agency to keep up morale. Has no idea what you mean when you tell him his music taste doesn't match his personality.

Similarly, he enjoys brainless romantic comedies and old silent movies. Doesn't laugh at jokes but loses it over physical comedy. Thinks Buster Keaton and Harold Lloyd are the funniest people who ever walked the earth.

He's long and limber. Runs practically a hundred miles every day just to "relax." Doesn't even get sweaty doing it. A filthy yoga addict. He'll probably live to be 200 years old.

He can regulate his body temperature for quirk use but in everyday life he's always half a degree outside the Goldilocks zone. It drives him quietly insane; he has an epic love-hate relationship with his thermostat.

Has a therapy animal pet. Doesn't matter if it's a dog or a cat or a bird or an iguana or a teeny tiny rodent. It's the best-behaved animal in the country and speaks more languages than you. It has its own room and an instagram account with millions of followers.

Lives in a traditional Japanese estate that doubles as a national treasure. Probably has government-appointed snipers at the gate, and he's just like, "don't worry about it." You are afraid to touch anything. Fuck, don't even look at anything, just to be safe.

Has an outstanding personal chef who only gets to cook five things unless (thank fuck!!) company comes over. Impossibly picky eater. He rotates between a few "safe" foods and suspiciously side-eyes everything else. If you cook something unfamiliar for him it will be the most awkward meal of your life, because he'd never tell you he doesn't like it. But oh lord, just look at his face.

This clashes directly with his love of traveling. Frequently uses his hero earnings to visit exotic foreign locales over long weekends... but rarely tries the food.

- - -

Dating

A grey-ace demisexual disaster. You could count the number of people he's been attracted to on one hand. He falls madly in love every time and always gets his heart smashed to pieces when his crush can't magically intuit the meaning of his frigid longing glances and generically courteous romantic gestures.

Which is stupid, because he gets propositioned constantly. He can't walk out the door without being flirted with. People keep slipping him their phone numbers and he always directs them to his agency like a moron. It's a good thing he will never understand how attractive he is because that's the only thing keeping him from total world domination.

Conventional attractiveness does not compute. Shouto doesn't have a type, doesn't care that he's an eleven whilst you are merely mortal. He will fall for your personality above all else.

Probably falls head over heels because your schedules overlap in a completely ordinary way and he witnesses you doing something endearing or brave or most likely: utterly mundane.

Pick a favorite, because you're his favorite coworker, or his favorite barista, or his favorite random bystander in line at the grocery store. You made him smile once; then he spent the next three months daydreaming about your future together before you accidentally stomped on his foot, initiating your first real conversation.

He's big on healthy communication. HUGE. He goes to therapy and it shows. Will talk through literally everything to the point of delirium. Sometimes his dedication to resolving every issue right away can get overwhelming; sometimes you just need some frickin time alone. But it pays off, because the two of you have practically never have a "real fight." There's just no way for bad vibes to fester.

STILL, his family wasn't exactly... erm... verbally or emotionally supportive, shall we say. For that reason, he might not give you all the compliments you deserve, because it simply doesn't occur to him to do so. He assumes you know how he feels. If you're self-conscious or insecure in the relationship, it might take him a while to notice. But when he figures it out (or even better, when you tell him directly) he will make it up to you with enthusiasm.

Will take you on lavish dates. Spoils you rotten without actually intending to. He's clueless about money. If you wanted a sugar daddy, you just hit the fucking jackpot. But if the word valet makes you uncomfortable, perhaps suggest some romantic picnics instead. He can still go all out with the food and five-star location without making you see cartoon dollar signs.

Chronic Insomniac. Stays up too late watching YouTube every night. His viewing history is an incomprehensible blur of k-pop music videos, serial killer icebergs, and super girly crafty ASMR channels. When he's watching a video, he is unreachable. Please call back later and try again.

He's disgustingly cute when he sleeps. Doesn't snore, but drools. Sometimes the drool freezes and leaves frost trails on his face in the morning. Still sleeps with the giant stuffed cat pillow that his mother gave him when he was like, zero. He'll inadvertently suffocate you with it, and you will welcome death with open arms because awwwwww!!!!!

The first time he tells you he loves you will be after your traditional Japanese shinto wedding. You won't hear it again until you start a family. Honestly, it's a good thing he doesn't say it often and is always holding you when it happens. It's a knee-buckler.

- - -

Icy-Hot

I don't even need to say it. Shouto is as old-fashioned as they come. You will never open another door or pull out another chair for yourself as long as you live. He will ask before he holds your hand. He will ask before he kisses you. He will stop and check in if you so much as breathe funny during sex.

If you don't orgasm at exactly the same time while staring into one another's eyes, he'll consider himself a failed lover. God forbid you want him to pound you into the futon... cause you are going to have to present that scenario to him in writing first.

Physical intimacy rarely leads to sex. He loves cuddling, craves physical affection. He'll sprawl all over you and turn into goo while you hold him close. He's an amazing, astounding, phenomenally good kisser. And that's... nice and all... but sometimes you have to grab his face and say, "Shouto, I'm horny," before he's like so that's why you're currently dry-humping me?

Even if he isn't technically a virgin the first time (or the millionth time) you sleep together, you won't know the difference. He's a blushing violet. Every. Fucking. Time. This doesn't mean he's a bad lay, oh no. But there's always ten minutes of confused bumbling before he hits his stride and remembers oh yeah, I DO know how to fuck good.

Absolutely silent during sex. Focused. Intense. Sometimes you have to push him a little to make any kind of noise at all, just so you know you're pleasing him (oh don't worry, you are).

His cock is Just Right. Not to big or too small. Perfectly proportioned and symmetrical. Somehow pretty. Like a fucking factory prototype. It truly is not fair.

Gets handsy and restless at night, even if you both have work the next day. Seems to crave sex at three in the morning. You've given him more than one exhausted handjob.

Gets offended if you don't cum. Will go down on you for hours. Of course he uses his quirk to tease you. He doesn't typically use it during actual intercourse, but he's all about foreplay, and he'll use every tool in his arsenal.

His sex drive is completely fucking unpredictable. Sometimes he's all over you, other times he's an icy slab. His line of work leaves him busy and stressed on a near-constant basis, so you can't entirely blame his personality for this one. Just give him some time and help him take care of his basic needs. He'll come back around soon enough.

#todoroki shouto #todoroki x you #todoroki x reader #todoroki x y/n #gender neutral reader #todoroki headcanons #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #smut #fred writes #bnha #mha

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davekatzdefensesquad · 3 years ago

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mst3k quotes pt 1

mst3k quotes I've compiled into a list that you could use as prompts for writing or for making memes. enjoy!

sorry, I hate myself. Goodbye!

what do i put on my timecard for this?

kill me. please?

now we'll be able to report what hell was like

a part of me is laughing. the part of me that hates life.

she's also afraid of lightbulbs!

let's just act like we didn't see this. think of the paperwork.

man, infants are such babies

suddenly, i miss my dad

I got a squirrel in the oven if you're hungry

did you bring your anti-government propaganda?

and his assistant: stacy's mom! she's got it going on!

it's all in my christian mingle profile

well, don't kill things

out of my way, gate!

we're not up to code

i was supposed to meet my bowtie supplier here

tell them it was carnie justice

i'm wearing spurs on your italian marble

are you with the bride or the failure?

can you believe it? two weeks ago, we were wearing shorts out here

that's a good way to tear your rotator cuff

hi, honey! i'm a cop now!

i'm pleasant, but i have issues

mickey's a wide awake nightmare

you are a lifesaver! can't believe I ran out of holy water!

i nabbed the collection plate so dinner's on me

you see, son, we all die alone and afraid

trains are blameless, holy creatures

consider yourself conquered, i gotta go

i have no super powers, but i can skip reasonably well

mom says i have to wear this in space 'cos it's cold

sir, they called us weenies

i had an angel rotting in my chimney once

pants: totally filled

i couldn't find the jaws of life so i brought cindy. she's pretty strong.

i'm gonna walk in front of a bus

hard to trust a guy not named steve

message for you, sir

i told him he was adopted

a construction worker must have gotten separated from his pack

boys? is tonight the purge?

our love has angered poseidon!

did she just get punched by a ghost?

she's the new girl at urban outfitters

i smell gravy

when do you morons find time to make up all these dumb rules?

this thing might beat me, but it'll never beat my hair

this is my favorite hidey-hole

here comes becky with the good hair

does she have no sense of self preservation?

he couldn't win a fight with gravy

they finally found me at that crack house

i think you're supposed to strangle me until i'm dead

their highly detailed plan falls apart

once all 7 of them are in place, the invasion really begins!

in my panic, i bought nothing but napkins

let's go back to law school. we're terrible bikers.

never store combustibles with your old people

here. try that. you'll kiss god.

my hamster was in that pocket

maybe i can conquer the world through real estate, instead

gentlemen? whee.

i got my chatrooms

remember, people like you better when you're pretty

hi, i'm running for porn queen

i think i'll have a vodka sandwich

i'm a welder by day and a dancer by night

every time i meet a guy, he's either gay or a bear

the KGB has her on surveillance

killed your girlfriend. coffee?

do the words "shallow grave" mean anything to you?

#mst3k #mst3k quotes #prompts #writing prompts #dialogue prompt #writing #rph #quotes #funny #comedy #dark humor #long post #mine #i want to make fandom memes with these #updated list: July 7 2023

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themistakengenius · 3 years ago

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-> The "about me" section is inspired by the one and only @cosmiksims 1.) Do you prefer to be referred by your name or blog name? I don't share my real name online but I answer to both MistakenGenius and Blue,(Why blue? Honestly just because it's my fav colour hehe) 2.) Where are you from? I'm from Romania 3.) Do you have pets? 👀 I in fact do, I have 3 cats and a dog, sadly I don't have any pictures of them on my computer so I can't show you them but trust me, they are adorable <33 They're like my children haha 4.) Tell us about your “dream.” Honestly I just want a stable job that I love (I do not want to wake up complaining about going to work, I want to enjoy it!. Be able to financially support myself on my own without depending on other people or a s/o. I want to have kids in the future and I hope my future includes a loyal s/o <3 5.) Aside from art, what are your hobbies? I used to skateboard before Covid, I would go to a skate park and basically just do crazy shit lmfao. I also edit photos and take photos irl and in sims, it's sort of like a passion of mine. I love capturing the moments :P

6.) Does anyone irl know about your blog? Nope

7.) Do you know anyone from your blog irl? Nope

8.) What are some fun facts about you? I've been playing sims for almost 3 years now. I never broke any bones in my body. I used to have a tumblr gameplay but got bored of it lmfao

9.) What’s your day job? I work as a waitress, and I love my job 10.) What’s your aesthetic? I don't think I have any tbh, I just kinda go with whatever vibe I feel like at the time

11.) What kind of artist are you? I draw by hand on paper. I tried digital art a few times and I liked it but I prefer drawing by hand.

12.) How did you get into your form of art? I still haven't gotten into my form of art but it shall happen soon.

13.) What do you watch/listen/read/anything else while you create? I don't like watching anything while I draw because I get distracted easily but I do listen to spotify while I draw

14.) What is your favorite of your own creations so far? Probably this one: I just finished it today. It's Hinata Hyūga from Naruto (I'm such a big fan of Naruto, if you couldn't tell already lmfao)

15.) How would you describe your art style? So far I'd say anime looking/cartoonish

16.) What is more satisfying to you coloring or outlining? Outlining, because you finally get to see your creation coming together. Something about outlining just gives it more depth and I'm so here for it.

17.) What meme would you use to describe yourself?

I have two, because I'm indecisive as fuck >:) (Also replace sir with miss ^-^)

18.) If you were on the run, what would you change your name to? GeniusMistaken ;) I'm kidding, I don't actually know. Probably a very common name so they would take forever to find me. With no face ID, no DNA, no fingerprint ID and just a name you're kinda stuck so. For legal reasons you did not hear that from me wriowjrgjr lmfao

19.) Have you ever or do you want to change blog names? I have in fact changed my blogs name. If you look back at some of my older poses I used to be called "BlueSkies" but I changed to MistakenGenius because I thought it was more fitting with the theme I wanted to go for so yeah

20.) God forbid Tumblr decides to pull a MySpace and lets us have page songs, what song would you choose? I have so many songs in my mind right now and I'm so indecisive I can never pick just one *sobs*. I would probably go for the song "Chicken Tendencies" Please do not feel pressured to do this but imo it was v fun >:D Now for the tags... @peefarts69 @cherryael

@geeky-simz @asplashofsims @rainypurpleskies @orchidlyhere @amelettes @simlishslurs @kubysim @asimofmanyhats @whitemoonshine98 @insimnious @sunniesimmer

#simblr #get to know me #sims 4 #sims 4 edit #ts4 edit #my art #but simple is all i could do rn #mine #tagged #female sim #ts4 female sim #cc showcase #modeling #alphacc #sim showcase #mistakengeniussimblr #simself

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rpmemesbyarat · 3 years ago

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RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 10 "Thanksgiving"

Listen. I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I don't think I can bone you right now.

My wanger is way stressed out.

I've killed for our love.

I just gave her a little push.

You and I can pick up right where we left off.

You can bring me home for Thanksgiving and introduce me to my future in-laws.

What did you do with the body?

I put it in the meat locker. It's where we've been putting all the dead bodies.

I need to see the body.

Look, we can have a three-way with the body.

I'll show you the body, but not so you can have sex with it.

I'll show it to you so that you and I will share a dangerous secret that will strengthen our relationship and bring us closer together.

I don't understand how this keeps happening!

Is this meat locker, like, a wormhole to an alternate universe or something?

She'll probably stop at nothing until she gets her revenge by murdering you.

No one wants to spend a room service Thanksgiving alone.

Are you going to talk at all?

You shouldn't be mad at me.

We're the sane ones.

Now, I know you've got other plans today, and for alibi's sake we need to protect your cover, but I am not letting you leave on an empty stomach.

Is that what quail is? I thought they were bigger.

You know what I was picturing? Pheasant.

Time to slice off those breasts.

I feel like this holiday is all about family, and, well, as you know, I gave up on my real family a long time ago.

I mean, at this point, the closest thing I have to family is. . . you.

I understand that Thanksgiving is supposed to be about family and being together and thanking God that we were born rich in America and not in Uganda or Venezuela or any of those other African countries.

You're late. The game's just about to start.

What do you think would happen if those instructions were incorrect?

This family's fortune is built on being right on time.

There's nothing better than sitting together as a family, watching the game. Laughing, smiling, just enjoying the warmth of each other's company. That's what it's all about today. Togetherness.

I hate defrosted food.

Why is it called Italian Style Chicken Cacciatore? All chicken cacciatore is Italian style.

This is not what Thanksgiving is supposed to be.

A bunch of my sort-of friends have been killed and no one has asked me about it.

Oh. And I'm starting a new family tradition. It involves me never coming to any family occasions ever again.

Would you stop with the screaming?

It's more like a stay of execution until no one is looking.

I've never cooked before, but that should be fine, since I usually just pretend to eat.

Well, I can cook and eat for the both of us.

So we've decided to have an orphans Thanksgiving all together.

I mean, I guess you could come over here if you wanted.

And this year I'm so thankful for the lax indecency laws in Eastern Europe that inundate our Internet with millions of hours of hard-core porn.

You know, ever since I was a little boy, I knew what God wanted me to do and that was make money off the backs of creative people.

I am so thankful that he, for whatever reason, has not murdered me yet.

You have such a vast future ahead of you.

You'll meet so many new and different women. So many wonderful women to go out with and break up with and move on from.

You should be thankful that this table is too long for me to reach across and strangle you, bitch!

What are you doing here? How are you alive?

When I woke up and regained consciousness, I felt better than ever.

The only thing you're carrying is water weight, you bloated little tramp.

I have a little game to play that's gonna make the time fly right by.

No, I've never killed anyone as far as I know.

Okay, there is no evidence at all that mass murder is genetic.

I would say that is more than a little suspicious.

I have bathroom shame issues. I always wait until everyone is asleep and then I sneak down to poop in the little powder room downstairs.

I mean, don't we all agree that those babies are the killers?

That seems like an unnecessarily complicated cover story.

I think we have plenty here to go to the police.

What, are you drunk?

You know, the one time I call you for a little advice, you're hammered.

I suppose we should discuss the matter of payment.

I'm asking you to name your price.

Are you propositioning me?

No, I'm asking how much money it'll take to make you go away.

My family is super-gross rich.

That outfit screams desperation.

I am, however, willing to write you a check for $50,000 if you will leave now and never come back.

It's a lot of money for a family like yours.

What is the best part about Thanksgiving?

Tastes like Henry VIII just barfed in my mouth.

Well, I don't want to sound like a dick here, but have you ever considered maybe you should leave?

I brought some of my famous eight-meat stuffing. It's beef, venison, alligator, buffalo, rabbit, goat, rattlesnake and Spam. I cut all of the meats super thin, so that you're guaranteed every meat in every bite.

I thought you said you were leaving forever or something like that?

Have you ever even cracked open a book?

You did say just the other day that the only way to live is to play the long game.

I really hope you can come up with something better than that.

I can prove that you're the only person in this room we know for a fact is a murderer.

I saw you in the coffee shop the other day, reading one of your old Playgirl magazines.

Okay, look, there's just some stuff that doesn't add up.

Look, I've gone through all the suspects in my mind, and I can explain away all my suspicions for everyone except you.

Can we just talk this out, so you can help me see that I'm wrong?

I mean, it would fit in with your whole hard worker, let's find out the truth, never take no for an answer, awful personality.

Anything to redeem your beloved dead mother.

I can't rest when the killer's still out there, so I stayed behind to do some more research.

You're skinny and pretty, so that's a plus, but it's highly competitive, so you'd better be rich, too.

You know how at the beginning of the year, I was always secretly following you so I could just keep an eye on you, make sure you were safe?

I heard you talking to someone, but I couldn't hear what it was about.

Thank you for letting me talk about this, talk this out, and hear your side of the story.

Um, homely, ugly.

Gold digger! Not welcome.

No, no, too chunky to wear that outfit.

I'm fairly certain this board game's been tampered with.

And while my motivations were airtight and my conscience clear, still, I'm sorry.

I mean, no one deserves to be spoken to like that, particularly not by what is, without a doubt, the most awful family in America.

I've honestly seen more tasteful decor at a Sizzler.

And you, sir, give the kind, hard-working, deeply moral people who work in such a wonderful industry as Hollywood a bad name.

I am walking out that door and never speaking to you again.

How could such a stud evolve from a boy who was so clearly a douche?

Oh, please, look, I-I was so bombed at that party. I mean, I remember I puked while I was making out with some girl, but there is no way that I could've found my way back down there 20 minutes later, let alone 20 years.

This is really embarrassing, um, but I started the paleo diet, because I'm back on the dating scene now, and I-I wanted to lose some weight.

I never saw a body down there.

I-I was a bit of a man slut back in the day, and it was the '90s, so nobody wore condoms.

I'm obligated to take it to the police.

What are you gonna do with the money?

didn't take the money, idiot.

Okay, first of all, I experienced extreme emotional trauma this evening, and second, I'm the one delegating tasks, thank you very much.

I couldn't find any matches.

I was sharpening this knife.

You haven't eaten yet, have you? I knew it!

You've come back. You've chosen me over your awful family.

First of all, my family is awesome. How dare you?

So, without further ado, dinner is served.

#rp meme #rp memes #rp starters #roleplay meme #roleplay starters #roleplay memes #scream queens

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