#for like the three of you still invested 😂

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Ok so this is more of a headcanon/scenario request:

Which Turtle is likely to fuck reader so hard the bed breaks under them? (In detail, if possible 😏)

Would They Break The Bed? (18+)

2007!Turtles x reader

A/N: Tbh, they are mutants. If they wanted to break the bed, they would do it😂 Anyway, I gave the wheel a spin, and it decided on 2007 TMNT, so I hope you’ll enjoy💚

All characters are aged up.

Warnings: Furniture and things breaking during sex, and sex lol.

Leonardo:

Leo is the least likely to break the bed while fucking you. That does not mean that he doesn’t go hard and rough, because damn, he does. It simply is because Leo is very aware of how the bed is going, while he is fucking you into the maddress.

He could be in the middle of turning your world upside down, fucking you so good that you were a moaning and whimpering mess, unable to formulate words, yet he would still notice if the bed’s creaking started to sound a little different under the two of you.

If the bed was about to break, Leo would be quick to notice, and before you would be able to realize anything was happening, Leo would already have you in a different position on a different part of the bed, relieving some of the tension on the bed frame.

But that did not mean in any way that he would slow down, instead wrapping a hand around your neck in whatever position you now found yourself in, telling you how good you were doing for him, continuing to go as hard and fast as before.

It wouldn’t stop the bed from creaking though, and Leo did find some kind of satisfaction in hearing how close the two of you were to breaking the furniture.

Raphael:

Raph is the most likely one to break the bed during sex. Actually, he has already done it a few times. He has broken his bed twice and yours once, costing you a trip to IKEA for a new bed, and a long complaint from your downstairs neighbour.

It was in the middle of the night when Raph had crawled through your window, wasting little time before the two of you were getting busy on your bed, with Raph going to absolute town on you. Your knees pressed to your chest in a mating press, with Raph pounding relentlessly into you, groaning in your ear, telling you how good you felt around him.

The bed was creaking violently, moving back and forth with each of Raph’s thrusts into you. Both of you could hear it, and after having broken Raph’s bed twice, you knew the sound of a bed falling apart. But with how good the two of you were feeling, neither of you cared, too deeply invested in your pleasure.

Suddenly there was a loud crack, followed by a bang. You screamed as the frame of the bed fell to the floor with a loud bang, followed by your neighbor screaming downstairs. But did Raph care? No. Not even a broken bed could stop him from continuing fucking you sensles.

Donatello:

Donnie breaking the bed during sex? Not very likely, but also not impossible. Sure he would make it creak like hell underneath you, making it very obvious what you were doing, even if you somehow managed to keep your sounds quiet.

It was actually quite a problem how noisy Donnie had made yours and his bed. You couldn’t even get ready to sleep him your own bed, without it creaking after the attack Donnie had caused it while fucking your brains out.

But if your bed was creaking badly, then Donnie’s bed was a screaming nightmare. It was loud, moving back and forth with each of Donnie’s thrusts into you, even banging against the wall at full force. But that didn’t do too much to dampen you and Donnie’s mood. Actually, very little could dampen your lustful mood when you were together. But it surely killed the mood for Donnie’s brothers who had to listen to it when they were in their own room.

The loud creaking and banging against the wall was enough to keep all three awake at night. It did muffle out the sounds of you and Donnie’s moans and groans, but the unmistakable sounds of furniture and walls gave you away. And yes, they had yelled at Donnie to get a new bed and move it away from the wall.

Michelangelo:

Well, you, Mikey and furniture had a complicated history to put it lightly. You may not have fully broken a bed together, but you did cause one of the legs on your bed to break beneath you once, where Mikey decided it would be fun to have you bouncing on him at the corner of your bed. Upsi.

One thing was the amount of times the two of you had accidentally knocked things onto the ground while going at it (which happened quite often. Many cups, glasses and lamps have been broken after falling from your nightstands), but nothing could compare to the time you broke not just a couch, but a coffee table as well during the same session.

You and Mikey had the lair to yourselves, so of course you decided to have sex on the couch. And it was there, in the middle of a rough and hot doggy, that the springs under you collapsed, causing the two of you to fall halfway through the couch.

But with you and Mikey being the horny fools that you were, you just moved from the couch to the coffee table. It was here, while you were laying with your back on the table, with Mikey thrusting between your legs, that two legs on the table broke, causing you to slide down onto the ground. And that was how you and Mikey ended up fucking on the floor in the middle of the lair.

[starrynights-sunnyskies]

as the flowers bloom, my heart does too ⋆*·ﾟmisa x putellas!femreader, social media au, (2/17)

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when your relationship ends and all you want to do is hide and cry, flowers suddenly start to appear on your doorstep.

or; misa hating to see a pretty girl cry and suffer and going out of her way to cheer her up while staying anonymous

fic: see my masterlist 🤍

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yourusername: here's to being free & having the best girlfriends in the entire world 💅🏽 Liked by ingridengen, begovargas, alexiaputellas and 1,193 others

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bff1 ilysm 😫 liked by yourusername ↳ bff1 admit it, im your favourite  ↳ yourusername only when you don't talk

albaps9 but not a singular gf (yet) ↳ yourusername bruja🖕

bff2 Three seconds before the chair fell backwards ↳ yourusername i had the softest fall ever 🙃

bff3 sistaaaars 👩‍👩‍👧‍👧 ↳ yourusername amuck amuck amuck ↳ bff1 who are the two little ones in the front? ↳ bff2 You're one of them, ofc ↳ bff1 because of my height?? ↳ yourusername hey, if the shoe fits 🤷‍♀️

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↳ 1h ago: yourusername added to their story

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↳ 10min ago: albaps9 added to their story

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↳ 54secs ago: yourusername just added to their story ↳ 31secs ago: yourusername just added to their story ↳ 12 secs ago: yourusername just added to their story

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tagged: albaps9 yourusername: here's to having the best sister(s) in the entire world and having the worst ex (read: don't bother me again😊) Liked by: albaps9, alexiaputellas, laurafreigang and 899 others

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albaps9 still think you should've burned those roses ↳ yourusername they were innocent 😭 ↳ albaps9 also, next dinner's on you liked by yourusername ↳ yourusername i love you.

bff1 girlie that third one! 💅🏽 ↳ yourusername 😇

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bff2 Don't think your ex survived this burn btw liked by yourusername ↳ albaps9 one less shithead taking up space!

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marisabel_rguez: Having fun 😁🙃 Liked by haleyraso, asllani9, sofie.svava and 15,289 others

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haleyraso 💪🏼 liked by marisabel_rguez

yourusername i think this is first time i've seen you smile on the field 🧐 ↳ marisabel_rguez Maybe you just haven't watched me play enough! ↳ yourusername did you at least save the ball? ↳ marisabel_rguez Of course! 😉 ↳ yourusername i'll believe it when i see it ↳ marisabel_rguez Challenge accepted! 😎

signebruun20 🐑 ↳ olgacarmona7 that's a sheep ↳ carolinemoller_ beeee 🐐

username1 Um, hi, hello, can't be the only one seeing this? ↳ username2 misa finally not getting ignored by little putellas? and getting FLIRTED with? ↳ username3 🤣 ↳ username4 That's playful banter in my book ↳ username2 tomato tomato ↳ username1 me thinking something happened when they all went out the other day for them to acknowledge each other now 👉👈 ↳ username4 Tone it down, this is yn's first time commenting ↳ username3 exactly, which means the u-haul truck is coming next 🤣

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yourusername: aaaand the mystery continues. Liked by janafernandez3, albaps9, marialeonn16 and 1,002 others

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salmaparalluelo Note?? ↳ yourusername no 😔

albaps9 how can someone who's single make ME feel SINGLE???

jennihermoso I've been way too invested in this for weeks now 😂

marisabel_rguez 😮🌸

bff1 i think i know 😏 ↳ bff2 SPILL ↳ bff1 texts!! ↳ albaps9 let me in on this?? ↳ yourusername how about you tell ME first? ↳ bff1 honestly woman, how haven't you figured it out yet?

janafernandez3 This is still way too cute 😊 liked by ingridengen

marialeonn16 Getting closer and closer to the shovel talk 😈 ↳ alexiaputellas What are you talking about 🤨

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↳ 31min ago: yourusername added to their story

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marisabel_rguez: Happy with the points. Focus on the next game ⚽️🤛😁 Liked by realmadridfem, yourusername, atheeneeaa_10 and 15,299 others

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yourusername alright, you won the challenge ↳ marisabel_rguez What's my prize? ↳ yourusername bragging rights! 😚 ↳ marisabel_rguez ☹️ liked by yourusername

username1 I KNEW I SAW YN!! ↳ username2 she was there?? ↳ username1 Yeah, sitting in the family section but she was wearing sunnies and a cap ↳ username3 Why was she trying to be incognito tho? ↳ username4 never mind why she was, why was she THERE? at a REAL MADRID match?? when her family BREATHES barça??? ↳ username1 excuse my surprised pikachu face ↳ username2 probably why she was incognito then 😅 💙💔💛 ↳ username5 never mind why she was there, why are they FLIRTING in the comment section??? AGAIN? ↳ username6 that's not flirting 🤣 ↳ username4 shut up, debby downer

ivanaandres5 🙌

signebruun20 🐐

carolinemoller_ 🐐 ↳ signebruun20 copycat 😤 ↳ carolinemoller_ beeeee 🐑

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↳ 8min ago: marisabel_rguez added to their story

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↳ 48secs ago: marisabel_rguez just added to their story

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yourusername: barcelona, i fall in love with exploring you every day ✨ Liked by marisabel_rguez, alexiaputellas, liekemartens and 1,203 others

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liekemartens I miss it and I miss you! ↳ yourusername me too, come back soon. bring your hubby 😘

marisabel_rguez 📸🤝

marisabel_rguez ❤️ liked by yourusername

username1 misa 👀 liked by 120 others

begovergas Barça adventure when? ↳ yourusername i'm free in three weeks! ↳ begovargas Texts! 😙

jafahernandez3 The best city 😊 liked by yourusername

ingridengen 💘 liked by yourusername

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marisabel_rguez: Royalty. Liked by yourusername, bff2, alexiaputellas and 14,596 others

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username1 Am I seeing double?

username2 same locations, no? ↳ username3 😮👀

jennihermoso You forgot your crown 👑 liked by marisabel_rguez

alexiaputellas Next time you're around, visit us! ↳ marisabel_rguez I will! 😅

yourusername 📸🤝 liked by marisabel_rguez

yourusername i think i've been in that place before! 🤨 liked by marisabel_rguez and 50 others

bff1 Loved meeting you 🤩 This comment is no longer available liked by marisabel_rguez ↳ bff2 SCAT! SCOOT! SCRAM! SKIDDOO! ↳ bff3 "why doesn't anyone ever tell my anything?": 😑

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tagged: alexiaputellas, fridolinarolfo, sanpanos yourusername: guess it was about time i got my first tattoo together with my three favourite mr gadgets to keep me company 😍 Liked by marisabel_rguez, bff3, fridolinarolfo and 1,693 others

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marisabel_rguez 😯🔥 liked by yourusername ↳ marisabel_rguez Really curious now!! ↳ yourusername 😌 ↳ marisabel_rguez 😣 ↳ yourusername it's not really in a place for people i'm not close to This comment is no longer available ↳ yourusername which means you're one of the lucky few who'll ever get to see it This comment is no longer available

alexiaputellas And you didn't even flinch! 😁 ↳ yourusername you're acting as if i haven't always been the toughest putellas 😤 ↳ albaps9 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 ↳ alexiaputellas 😂😆 ↳ yourusername 😪 ↳ alexiaputellas It's a really beautiful tattoo 😘 ↳ yourusername thank you ale 😊

albaps9 for the next one, i'll be thereeee! coming over as we speak to come and see it 😌 liked by yourusername

bff2 I legit love it so much 😔💔 liked by yourusername

marialeonn16 If you ever want another one... 🤝 liked by yourusername

ona.battle Ohh, what did you get! ↳ yourusername i'll send you a pic! 😇

bff1 pic pic pic! ↳ yourusername no nudes on this page 🙅‍♀️ ↳ bff1 ruins all the fun ↳ yourusername voyeur

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realmadridfem: Misa Rodriguez is out of play due to illness and misses the next few matches. Get well soon! Liked by marisabel_rguez, haleyraso, olgacarmona7 and 9,248 others

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marisabel_rguez Gracias ❤️ ↳ haleyraso Coming back stronger than ever, I bet 🤝 ↳ marisabel_rguez You got it 😁 liked by realmadridfem

username1 Get well soon, Misa!

username2 feel better 😔

ivanaandres5 Come back soon 🍵🍎

olgacarmona7 ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

username3 shiiiit, noooo 😩

jennihermoso Better not miss national camp, missy! ↳ marisabel_rguez Not in the plans! What would you do without me? 😆 ↳ jennihermoso Have a lot less fun, that's for sure!

username4 well shit ↳ username5 Pretty sure her health is more important, no? ↳ username4 ofc, just mean she's important to real's success, too ❤️

carolinemoller_ Even goats need to rest from time to time!

sofie.svava Get better soon, champ!

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yourusername: feeling sicky poo. flu is killing me. but i got sent flowers (thank you 😉), have leftover pizza (i can't taste) and the best of friends keeping me company (who i've tried to kick out bc else they will also be sick in 1-5 business days). Liked by mikkykiemeney, bff1, ingridengen and 982 others

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salmaparalluelo you mean... flowers? ↳ yourusername yes... ↳ salmaparalluelo note??? ↳ yourusername 😶 ↳ salmaparalluelo OMG!!!??? ↳ albaps9 and i'm only hearing this right now because?? ↳ yourusername chill, i still don't know who it is ↳ albaps9 but the note?? ↳ yourusername was anonymous ): ↳ albaps9 what did it say? ↳ yourusername i'll text you.

ona.battle Feel better soon ☹️

username2 sus

username3 thaz suspicious 🧐 liked by 48 others

alexiaputellas Lots of water, veggies, sun and vitamins 👌 liked by yourusername ↳ yourusername okay 😭 ↳ alexiaputellas Mama's bringing soup for you three later! liked by bff2 ↳ bff1 give eli a smooch liked by alexiaputellas

username4 Sus!!!!

bff1 yk, they usually also call this the kissing disease but you do you, ig. liked by albaps9 ↳ albaps9 you're telling me... that...- ↳ bff1 yes 😗 ↳ bff2 OUT! 🥊

username5 🤨

marialeonn16 Get better soon, lil 'tellas! ❤️ liked by yourusername

esmeebrugts 🤕❤️‍🩹 liked by yourusername

username6 Anyone else connecting the dots???

patri8guijarro Que te mejores pronto 🤒 liked by yourusername

bff1 stop scrolling through insta, we're waiting 🙄 ↳ bff1 oh but maybe order some takeout while you're at it 😇 ↳ bff2 You're hungry AGAIN? ↳ bff1 we haven't had dessert???? ↳ bff3 Feeling so left out rn 💔 ↳ bff2 We can't all be in Barbados with a hot man 🤑 liked by bff3 ↳ bff3 Get well soon (in advance) lovelies 🤕 ↳ bff1 thank you! now go back and make us aunties 🤟 ↳ yourusername i'm going to put a leash on her one of these days ↳ bff2 Or one of those electric collars. Each comment, ZAP! Immediate shut up. Effective! ↳ bff1 ohhh i think i'd be into that ↳ bff3 I'm getting out of here!!!! Byeeee 🙄😘

username7 coincidence? i think tf not

aitanabonmati Que les vaya bien a todos. liked by yourusername

jennihermoso Feel better, little one! liked by yourusername

username8 lol not a flu exposing them 😂 liked by 134 others

Comments on this post are limited

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↳ 25secs ago: yourusername just added to their story ↳ 15secs ago: yourusername just added to their story ↳ 4secs ago: yourusername just added to their story

Direct message from albaps9: open albaps9 wait what happened all of a sudden?? ↳ albaps9 are you okay? ↳ yourusername yea im good albs ↳ albaps9 bullshit, i'm coming over

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[shirefantasies]

hello :) im new on your page so im not extremely familiar with what you're going through but I'd still like to wish you a smooth recovery before saying anything else.

considering your condition you can absolutely take as long as you need on this request or just not do it at all but i just NEEDED to get this idea off my chest

so last night i read your LOTR characters and how many children they would have hcs and now i absolutely cannot get the idea of frodo with a little girl out of my head :(

just imagine a hobbit toddler with frodos curls like running around and being silly ☹️☹️☹️

anyways if you could elaborate on that or just some hcs of frodo as a dad in general would be so greatly appreciated :)

i wish you a smooth recovery and i hooe that you're alright

Thank you so much! I'm sorry this is an OLLLLLDDDD request and I can't remember when this was originally put in but it would be so funny if it was pre-emergency room trip 😂 but no matter what all healthy here finally 🥰 I hope it's ok that I decided to expand on this a little for everyone!

The Hobbits as Dads (Wife!Reader)

Frodo

✧ As I've mentioned, Frodo wants a smaller family, so you end up with two children, a daughter first, then a son. Both of whom just love their sweet father to pieces!

✧ Frodo and your daughter especially are just joined at the hip. She’ll sit on his desk swinging her legs while he writes or illustrates, asking him what he’s doing until he’s basically reading to her and working all at once!

✧ She chases him around the meadows, giggling as he lets himself almost be caught only to turn around and swoop her up into the air with a wide smile of his own!

✧ Frodo gets so soft whenever he holds your son, who looks just like you! Your daughter has his eyes, but your son is the spitting image of you and he just loves it. He could watch you just sitting there with your little boy in his arms watching forever, but in the end his feet carry him right to your sofa to snuggle in, your little girl on his heels!

✧ Dances with your daughter at every party, even when she is little and has to stand atop his feet as they twirl.

✧ Every morning Frodo wakes your children up with a kiss to the forehead and it almost brings tears to his eyes sometimes at the way your little boy absolutely leaps into his arms to be carried out to breakfast, the biggest smile on his little face, so reminiscent of his beloved wife's.

Sam

✧ The absolute king of making all his children feel heard despite having so many! He's invested in so many hobbies, but the children make him the dearest things, so it's ever so worth it.

✧ For example, Elanor pens the most amazing tales and Sam is always talking about her way with words. Saying how she certainly didn't get it from him! It must be from her brilliant mother. Having heard stories of Gandalf's fireworks, Hamfast works tirelessly to unlock their secret, creating his first little sparklers just in time for his father's birthday party! Sam tears up a little at this.

✧ The father who carries as many kids at a time as he physically can. One hanging around his neck, one on his back, and he strains to lift the ones dangling from his arms, too.

✧ So sweet whenever his children cry that they go to him just as often as you! Takes them in his arms and always has the kindest, most uplifting words ready.

✧ Has a tree, bush, or patch of flowers named for and aided in tending by each child as they chose their favorite.

✧ All the ladies of the Shire giggle at the sight of Sam wrangling three little ones at the market, trying so hard to keep his words gentle as he's holding another of their siblings and they want to put their hands on everything. "But that's simply not polite, now is it?"

Merry

✧ He’s always wanted at least one son and one daughter, and let me tell you: his daughter will have him wrapped around her finger.

✧ Even if she looks just like you, your daughter has Merry’s smile and as a baby, she mirrors his expressions exactly. You catch him playing peekaboo with her all the time and making faces just to see them spreading across her soft cheeks.

✧ Making toys for his kids becomes a passion of Merry’s. He spends hours carving a little wooden sword for your son that looks as close to the one gifted to him from his fellow soldiers of Rohan.

✧ The dad who takes his kids on outings so mama can have a break! After making you breakfast, Merry runs off with the little ones to go beery picking and brings them back a complete mess of dirt and juice splatters, but also grinning excitedly and holding up brimming baskets of their harvest.

✧ Congratulates your daughter the first time an angry mother complains to him about her slapping her son, who had pushed her down. “That’s right. Don’t let anyone treat you like that.” Turning to you, Merry grins, eyes all aglow with admiration. “Hear that? She’s a fighter!��

✧ Bedtime is a whole production. Bath time, a story, time laying with each child to talk about anything they want, tucking them in…and you can pry it all from Merry’s cold dead hands.

Pippin

✧ The dad who thinks all of his children are so neat, no ifs, ands, or buts, and is best friends with them all. Also the proudest father who cannot stop talking about them all into any remotely available set of ears.

✧ Your firstborn son is Pippin’s best friend, running as soon as he can walk and toddling after his father anywhere he can go, and Pippin always welcomes his company!

✧ Lifts his young ones up onto the Green Dragon tables too and lets them show off their moves or simply holds them while he jumps a little more gently! Your older son is jigging at his side, your second son leaping, and your little girl is on his hip all while Merry and his son dance next door and you watch with the baby in your arms!

✧ Encourages his children’s off-the-wall imaginations with all sorts of questions about their little worlds and creatures and of course taking on some of their roles when they need him for a game.

✧ Chaotic apple picking trips with the whole family, which comes to total you, Pippin, and all six of the kids running around like beheaded chickens between the trees and trying to show you the best apple! The oldest boys start tossing them back and forth like a ball, but they also help you bake pies by corralling the little ones and making the process fun for them. Pippin brings the baby in and holds him, teasingly pretending like he’s going to let his little hands steal your apple pieces.

✧ The father who learns every goofy magic trick to make the kids laugh. Always pulling something from behind their ears.

Bilbo

✧ Had you asked him only a handful of years prior, he would have said no children in the house, thank you, but here he is now having tea parties and making boats to float in the stream with your daughter.

✧ The most devoted dad, if a little overprotective. Always hovering behind her, hands raising over her curly little head the moment any possible danger could strike.

✧ Teaches his daughter all the proper tea etiquette after he buys her the perfect little set, fretting a bit when she spills but grinning so proudly as she pours him his little cuppa! They have tea parties all the time and Bilbo addresses all her dolls by name. She insists, after all.

✧ He also takes her on a lot of “adventures” that mostly consist of walking through the woods on the edges of the Shire and picnicking on bread and cold meat and cheese from your larder alongside the fruits they pick.

✧ Is very disconcerted when your daughter insists that not only is she going to visit the Lonely Mountain with her papa someday, she is also going to marry a dwarf. Guess she really enjoyed his stories!

✧ Your daughter knows how to do everything. Mend handkerchiefs? Definitely. Finally take that crack at the plumbing? She's right there with her father. Botany? But of course, for how else will they know what all the books they read are describing! Fighting? You both are teaching her that. Your daughter will never be afraid to take on anything with you two for her parents!

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[newtonsheffield]

I know you're super knowledgable about Bridgerton so I wanted to get your thoughts and opinions on this. As someone who hasn't read the books (but Idc about spoilers), I wonder how the show is gonna have Eloise end up with Mr. Crane. From what I know of the books from the wiki fan page and Tumblr the books really seem like a suggestion at this point lol and I just cant conceptualize her ending up with him but I'd love your input or theories.

I hope Eloise is one of the very last seasons. I hate so many of her decisions but I empathize w her and I'm so fucking invested in her growthI and thats gonna take time and I dont want them to rush that for the sake of order

I Don’t know about super knowledgeable 😂

I think… they’re going to have to pull some pretty major changes to that story to get it to work within the context of the show at this point. That’s why for a split second I thought Eloise and Michaela Stirling were getting paired up. And truthfully I think one of the major problems the show has to face is the Marina of it all.

I have said many times and I will stand by it still that Julia Quinn is not the world’s greatest author. But something she is good at is giving you only the information you need to invest in the relationship that she wants you to invest in. In the books we have no idea who Marina is (A distant Bridgerton cousin in the books) until Phillip starts talking about her at the beginning of the book. That means, we find it a little tragic that she suffered from these mental health issues but were distanced from it. That’s very different from the darkness of a character that we know suffering the same fate. It also I feel… won’t really play that well given she was the one who gave Colin a speech about the fact that she was content enough with her life and didn’t need saving. That’s a switch up.

I think… there’s a lot of work to do to get Eloise and Phillip to a place where they’re right for each other.

I have been critical of the line they’ve taken with Eloise because I feel like she fails to recognize the privilege she has that she doesn’t need to marry. Violet might nudge her a bit over enthusiastically in that direction but she really seems to have given up on that after last season. And Anthony, after the disaster of making a match for Daphne and after finding that his life is SO much improved being married to Kate ho he loves very much is NOT going to arrange her a match and force her to go through with it. Few women were afforded this. And Eloise does not recognise that at all. They got SO FUCKING CLOSE to her acknowledging this through her friendship with Cressida this season. And then they threw it back in my fucking face! True feminism is about having the CHOICE.

I feel like Tyra Banks.

Eloise has a lot to learn and one of my criticisms of season three is that I felt Penelope and Colin weren’t ready for each other and needed to grow more so I hope they take their time with Eloise.

This is just one person’s opinion of course. Has no bearing on anything.

[nightingale2004]

OK, bridgerton people, I finished up the last season, and I have a LOT to say

First off, I think it's COMPLETELY UNREALISTIC that Daphne and Simon, along with their beautiful children, are not with the other Bridgertons soaking up all this drama and scandals that's been going on in ther family. SERIOUSLY WHAT HAPPENED?! was there a problem with the actors? Or something? Like what happened that made the actors and the children NOT MAKE AN APPEARANCE IN THE SEASON OF BRIDGERTON?!

Secondly, I also find it unrealistic that Anthony and Kate literally missed out ON PENELOPE'S LADY WHISTLEDOWN REVEAL?! LIKE, SERIOUSLY?! I get that Anthony wants to be with Kate and get to know her culture, but Anthony and his amazing Goddess wife Kate have missed out on the biggest reveal and scandal to hit their family! I so badly wanted to know what their reaction was going to be and their thoughts that Anthony's little brother is F*cking married to a gossip writer. Including Benedict.

I need to know! I can literally already imagine both Kate and Anthony reading the letter that Penelope is Whistedown and their reactions (to me) are hilarious 😂

Thirdly, I kind of wanted the secret identity of Lady Whistledown to be a secret a little while longer. Like maybe after Benedicts season. That's just my personal opinion. But I did want the queen to still find out and have Penelope and Charlotte have a private alliance. Penelope still gets to write under the approval of the queen as long as the queen looks at it first and maybe becomes the queens eyes and ears.

Lastly, I would like to acknowledge the haters here who don't like the change of gender of Michael Stirling, aka Michaela Stirling, and are fearing for their lives that Sophie Beckett will become Stephen Beckett.

Firstly, we are not the creators of this fantastic world. OK? The author is, Netflix is making this show into a reality, and those of us that actually like the show are actually OK and loving with how things are going especially the reveal that not just one but THREE bridgerton siblings ARE a part of LGBTQ+ community. Can we all just take a moment and not go backward to the "Annabeth shouldn't be black" incident. I know these two incidents don't relate because one has to do with race and the other has to do with gender but can the haters just stop. I believe the authors and creators of this AMAZING show know what they are doing, and the bridgertons along with Queen Charlotte are one of the few shows I like that haven't been canceled yet. So consider this a freaking win people.

If the creators want to change a few things, then let them change a few things, we are fans, and we have something called fanfics to which we read and write if there's something we don't like or can't live with when it comes to a fandom series. As long as the creators of the show keep giving us our daily dose of drama and do the bridgerton books justice than I for one am going to keep on watching and being invested in this fandom.

And haters one final message to you, if you don't like the shows, THEN STOP WATCHING THE SHOWS!!!!!!!

I have said my peace. And there is plenty more to come

[plumbobgothica]

Ten people I would like to know better

Thank you to the lovely @dreamy-roses, @trlamnhi, @kreativeplumbob, and @toadifylackoffantasy for the tags!!

Last song: My Name is Kino Loy from the Andor soundtrack.

Favorite color: Pink and green.

Last Movie: Re-watched Jaws recently! I STILL find that movie terrifying. But, I rarely watch movies these days. I usually prefer tv shows because I like getting invested in longer-term storylines. :)

Last book: Currently re-reading Wicked, one of my favorite books (I still haven’t seen the movie!)

Sweet/spicy/savoury: Savory. But I love all three and definitely have a pretty bad sweet tooth sometimes! (I can't help myself around jellybeans).

Last googled: A spinach and mushroom frittata recipe.

Current obsession: Honestly I'm kind of in between obsessions right now and it's stressing me out. Praying to the ADHD gods for a new hyperfixation to keep me energized. 😂I guess Sims 3 counts, right?

Looking forward to: A trip to Colombia next month with my partner where we hope to do some mountain biking, snorkeling, salsa lessons, and bird-watching!

No pressure at all to participate (and I know a lot of people have already done this, so sorry if you've already been tagged) but I'll tag @tia-amorosa, @bartoszsims3, @nornities, @aisquaredchoco, @dhalsims, @nectar-cellar, @cocodotgreen, @sircesimblr, @misslucysims, @eizthetics0226

[sundogsandrainbows]

Hi, I'm sorry to write to you out of the blue, but Of Elves and Humans was the first DA longfic that got me hooked back in 2011 when I, as a dumb teen, happened to pick up DAO. Ever since then, the DA universe has been a constant fixation of mine and my admiration for you as a writer as well as someone who isn’t afraid to call out the franchise's flaws has never wavered. Now that Bioware decided to take a massive shit on everything pre-DAV and their oldest fans specifically, I'm really devastated and feel like a fool for having been so invested in DA and its lore for those past 13 years. It’s incredibly encouraging, however, to see you keep on keeping on. "So since they spat in my face like this I ignore this atrocity of a game even exists" is where I hope to be at soon, too. Thank you.

(First of all apologies for the late reply, I put it in my drafts when i was too tired to complete it, and then my adhd brain forgot it existed due to being distracted by new shinies 😂☠)

But aww omg i cannot believe i was the gateway drug into dragon age, or rather the old version of my story on FFN was. I am so very honored <3 And nonnie, I feel you. I am invested in DA as a series since DA:O's release in 2009, like I bought it on a whim for XBox because I liked Mass Effect 1 sm. So that is 15 yrs of my life i spent loving and discussing a thing while still being critical of the thing, but now i feel so very protective of the world, lore and its characters that "New Bioware" has decided to take a massive dump of shit on, and not only the games but the old fans I feel are treated with disdain too and do not matter to them any longer.

Long, subjective rant about current bioware aka the shambling corpse of its former self and talent incoming. Spoilers for Veilguard bc i don't give a fuck to avoid them :D You (general you, not you in particular dearest nonny <3) should use your time better than to play this shit anyhow 😂

It feels like calculated malice of new Bioware to apply the scorched earth tactics to offscreen destroy everything that old fans and fans of the other games in general held dear, and was supposed to suck out the enjoyment of DAO, DA2 and DAI. Like it is obvious they plan to create a sequel on DA's scorched bones, but jfc, you can do so story-wise without spitting everyone loving what old bioware has built in the face after dropkicking them. But to me that is part of the problem, since if i remember correctly and i wish i could find the bit... they praised Veilguard as "The best Dragon Age game ever", with the most interesting companions and best most improved combat system, comparing it to the other three games in a near smug fashion. There is marketing and there is putting the other games down to prop up your most favorite and only child mattering and they were definitely doing the latter. And don't get me started on the whole "Who is Zevran" debacle or we are gonna here all day.

Bottom line is new/current devs and writer do not give a shit about and very possibly have never played any other game than Inquisition, and you cannot tell me otherwise. And since a lot of devs/writer have left since the start of this project that would become this abysmal game, I also have the impression that there is a lot of underlying resentment toward what these former colleagues have created and so they piss on it in order to make it fully theirs now. Like dogs marking their territory, and well that did not work out, imo. At all.

Ever since they announced respecting our past choices by ignoring them (????) it was clear to me that I would not play Veilguard but just watch a playthrough and all spoilers and then move on. And everything i saw before release was shocking... like i was flabbergasted at how baaaad the dialogue was, which as a writer myself is super important to me in my story. There was no subtext, characters just blurt out everything they think and feel, like a lifeless doll you squeeze and words tumbling out and just as natural. It is stilted, awkward and 80% of it exists for info dump or info dumb rather as they keep repeating the same shit they just told you a few seconds ago as if you as the player are braindead. Here is a good example of what i mean.

Jfc, who edited this crap? There is so much superfluous dialogue that adds nothing to a scene but annoyance for the player and says nothing at all. Just pure senseless yapping in the most cringy way. Why was no one there to trim this nonsense as you should as a writer/editor? Hell, they really disregarded every simple and basic writing rule (everything is told never SHOWN for example especially in dialogue) which really made me question their competence in what they were doing and thus the quality of the upcoming game but i still held out hope for it to not be that bad.

Well shit, it was even worse. In all regards. Especially the writing that cringed this writer into a new dimension with its incoherent incompetence. Jfc. they got paid for that? I'm convinced the majority of fandom writer can do much better, even unpaid. Hell my cat just by walking over the keyboard can manage a better draft and script...💀

But I digress. That is a rant for another time. Point is, nonny, despite my defiant words, I struggled too for days after i got to know the full extent of Bioware's spiteful fuckery to even look at anything da related, in my case my Alistair/Mahariel longfic. I was really down for a few days, ngl. Then again, there is nothing better than spite fueling my creativity to prove "i can write better" soooo in the end and with the help of the much better first version of DA4 in the artbook, I was able to exorcise the demons and feverdream-mindfuck of mediocrity sold to me as a turd with gold-glitter that is this game.

I have successfully now rejected its existence, filled the void with the version that should have been from the artbook and vowed to give no fucks what bioware is doing or saying and infinitely more fucks when writing my own version of thedas and the version of DA4 that should be. REWRITES BBY hell yeah. So OEAH:R is just the beginning of a verse-wise rewrite. But if you need a pick me up, nonny, you are very much welcome to take a trip down memory lane to Dragon 9:30 and see how much this iteration of the story differs from my first one back in the days. Because in this house of mine, we grow and learn as writers, unlike bioware where writer ego reigns surpreme (oh boy and does it ever show in VG) aka eating their own turds and tell themselves it is the finest chocolate 💀

There is still a lot of good about DA out there, but we have to accept it does not come from Bioware any longer. Instead it came, comes and will come from the fans and creators of art and texts and words defying their bullshit with their love and respect for the world, its lore and characters. Also very unlike Bioware.

As we should <3

[its-time-to-write]

i know now it’ll pass - ch. 4

Self control? I don’t know her😂

pulling heartbreak out of hats

It’s been three weeks since your conversation. You see Dr. Sharon twice a week, mainly because Jamie kept badgering you about setting up an appointment. It’s not easy, sure, but your sessions are at the end of the day so if you’re too emotionally drained to drive, Jamie takes you home. 

You’ve started going to his games. You kind of went before, but it’s different now. You’re invested in what’s happening and you’re in your Tartt jersey that Jamie dropped on your head one evening when you walked in the door.

He had been waiting for you at the top of the stairs, so he was ready as soon as he heard your key turn in the lock.

It made you giggle and he kissed you once he got to the foot of the stairs, shirt wrapped around your shoulders like a scarf.

“You’re gonna look so fucking fit with my number,” he had said between kisses.

So now you’re at a game with red and blue streaks in your hair, yelling as Jamie scores an equalizer. He’s doing a little victory lap with his tongue out, the rest of Richmond piling onto him. He’s blowing a kiss to the crowd, except it’s not to the crowd, is it? It’s at your section which means it’s a kiss for you, and you’re so happy you feel like you could explode.

You tell him that night when you’re out celebrating with the team.

He’s grinning and you’re grinning and he’s kissing you like there’s no tomorrow in the middle of a crowded club. Ted notices and wolf-whistles, catching the attention of the rest of the time who join in with the hooting. 

You’re not even a little embarrassed.

—

You’ve discovered you sleep better in a bed that has Jamie in it. He has a habit of washing his hands with warm water before climbing in next to you. It’s a habit you didn’t notice for the longest time but when you finally did, it felt like something inside you was snapping back into place.

His arms feel safe, and you don’t dream when he’s with you. Or if you do, it’s of something pleasant and indiscernible. 

You can’t be with him every night, which is why he shows up to your house one Saturday morning lugging a giant cardboard box with a bow haphazardly taped to the top.

“It’s for when I’m gone,” he says as you slice open the tape to reveal a fluffy weighted blanket. “Got your initials on it and everything.”

It was a great Saturday. You’d gone to the Green to kick around a football and “help” Jamie with drills. It mostly consisted of you yelling, “Faster, Tartt!” while he smiled and puffed. Your favorite was pushups, because you sat on his back and counted. On the way home, he’d held your hand and swung it back and forth while listening to you chatter about your sessions with Dr. Sharon. You’re getting better.

Life has slipped into a nice routine. You work Monday through Friday, go to Jamie’s matches on the weekends, and spend most nights together at his house. 

It’s still just sleeping and there’s still a part of you that doesn’t believe Jamie when he says he’ll take it as slow as you want. You tell Dr. Sharon which starts a whole discussion about trust and you leave feeling better, but as soon as you’re home alone the intrusive thoughts start again. You begin to wonder why Jamie’s even with you. 

—

Jamie can tell something’s off. Your smiles haven’t quite been meeting your eyes, and your hugs are less enthusiastic. He’s seen it before in past relationships, hell he’s been the one in past relationships. The one to lose interest. He can feel it in the way you’re never really listening to what he says, the way you decline dinner invitations, and avoid him at work. He tells Roy and Roy says, “Just fucking talk to her.” That’s too scary, so he tells Ted. Ted always has good advice. Ted says, “Just talk to her, son. Communication is key,” so maybe Roy’s advice was good and Jamie just needs to suck it up and bite the bullet. He decides he will because this relationship is worth it, you’re worth it; with the way you make him laugh and listen to him and actually care about things. Or, you used to. Whatever’s going on, he’s going to fix it.

—

You’re at Jamie’s house, picking at some takeout. He’s talking about the upcoming match but it just sounds like static. You’re preoccupied with thoughts of models, actresses, and/or singers Jamie could date. You’re sure Keeley could set him up with someone so he won’t be alone when you’re gone.

Because that’s what’s happening. Jamie doesn’t even get a chance to ask you what’s wrong because as soon as he finishes his story about how Dani and Jan Maas ate so many kebabs they puked, you’re telling him that it’s over in a monotone voice. He says, “I don’t understand,” and you say, “I know.”

He says, “I love you,” and you force yourself to shrug although your mind is screaming at you to say it back. To tell him that you’re just scared. That you feel you don’t deserve his love, and that you’re going to lose it eventually, so why not get it over with now?

“It’s just not working,” you say and Jamie asks, “What’s not working? I’ll fix it, just tell me what it is.”

You shake your head and say, “I should go.”

You don’t sleep that night. 

You don’t want to see Jamie, so you sit on the back steps instead of the front. It’s not the same because you can’t see the sunrise and it feels too grey, too sterile. You wonder if you should move.

Table of Contents

[majaloveschris]

Yeah people can be mad all they want to due to this bs, but sorry Chris Evans cameo was most definitely one of the favs.

I know many feel his career should be greater but the man has a pretty solid standing regardless of his choices post Marvel. He’s successful like it or not. People love to talk about him no longer being A-List or whatever like that matters that much, he’s still a successful working actor, has his looks and is rich as fuck…..that’s not a flop or an actor about o go to pasture. 😂

If these next three movies score well it’s going to lead to more stuff for him, so if people are truly that mad and want to act like he’s broke and a bum due to this situation, they might as well walk away permanently now.

I mean if they legitimately hate him that bad, why are they even still here. I’m disappointed in his life partner choice due to me expecting better from him and the simple fact……I don’t believe what they tried to sell. I expect her gone soon enough, but not my life…….but I still enjoy his work and think he’s talented so I’m still here.

Anyone calling him a flop because their feelings are hurt, aren’t fans and probably shouldn’t be so invested in a man they clearly loathe. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yeah, I think he is doing very well for himself. I'm not saying he didn't have flop projects that didn't do that well, like Ghosted, RSDR, and Lightyear. But even those are loved by fans and didn't perform that badly. Ghosted was played almost 330,000 times in the very first two days. Lightyear on Disney was watched 13 million times in the very first 5 days, and the fandom loves Ari and even Cole. So even though some of his projects flopped, it's not that bad as some people try to portray it, and he does well for himself.

I'm also disappointed in this decision, and I also don't believe they are real. I get that them being real or fake doesn't matter for some people, and I understand why. But as you said, if someone hates him this much, they should just leave. Why waste so much time on someone you think it's a shitty human being? I get if people call him about because of Alba, but bodyshaming him and calling him a flop when he clearly isn't shouldn't be part of it. Those are being said only to hate on him. I get if you don't want to support him, but then leave. Call him out if you want him, but do it for the right reasons. 

[aconflagrationofmyown]

Will there be smut between Elvis and Elaine in the 70s/80s chapter of the saga? I absolutely adore the second gen, but i am also really obsessed about the both of them still finding time (to make babys obvsly) but also enjoy eachother soo passionately like in the early years 😍 i am very invested 😂

Oh, oh darling yes there will be and…it just might be my favorite of all their eras. Plenty of fic in the works, and I’m delighted that interests you. Nothing hotter than a couple fused together by time and devotion. Also, this is beyond random but I do envision Elvis getting a bit cuddlier and bulkier into the 90’s…whereas in this AU the 70’s remain about the same health and looks as around ‘74…with some gray allowed to creep in by the mid 80’s. 😏 ALL THAT TO SAY, I find the idea of warm and sturdy Elvis being enamored with his Pilates obsessed wife pretty swoonworthy

There’s a lot coming soon for the 80’s and earlier but for now, how about a little intermediate, plotless, fluffy, wintry smut fest between Grandpa Elvis and his Tink when they’re stuck in a ski lift on their aspen holiday? …it goes something like this (WARNINGS, fluffy smut involving p in v, semi public sex but not observed, tender cum feeding (somehow Elaine made that a thing) and subby older Elvis, 18+:

Sarge & lil Mama blurb, Jan 1995,

|| Snow Bunnies

“When’d I get so damn fat?” Elaine hears her man huff over the rustling sound of their snow coats rubbing together and wants to roll her eyes, amused that Elvis didn’t expect that result from almost nightly burger and shake runs with Shiloh for the past decade.

She does roll her eyes at the thought that he wiggled her snow pants down and her panties, too, before even unzipping himself.

“You’re cuddly,” she retorts with a smile directed down to the ski slope far below them, her hand pressed to the frosting glass of the lift, “as all grandpa’s should be. Nobody wants a scrawny grandpa.”

Case in point is the waft of steaming heat Elaine feels against her bare backside the minute he gets his pants undone, sweaty body heat radiating off of him despite the freezing temperatures around them. Instinctively she arches her back a little and shifts her footing, putting a leg up on the bench to make some room for little Elvis, slotting her ski carefully between the narrow walls. It barely fits.

She thanks God for the fact she’s got just enough height to her that they can do this standing up, have been doing it this way for over three decades now, because if he can’t wait for a private moment and if he must take advantage of the stalled ski lift, then she’s secretly relieved she won’t be the one exerting effort with ten pounds extra of ski equipment hampering her.

As it is, it’s funny how swelteringly hot they both feel besides their barely exposed privates. She can hear the minute Elvis frees himself from his little wounded hiss at the cold air and his pitiful need always did make her run wet.

“C’mon mopey, come to mama.” she encourages and braces her hand on the glass, checking to make certain her long coat covers any frontal view, only the back tugged down and her husband is soon behind her with enough width and padding to hide a dumpster. “Give lil Elvis some shelter.” she tries to reach between her legs to guide him but there’s too much winter bulk in the way and only her fingertips make it to his line of sight.

Elvis moans at the eager gesture anyway, touched by how ready she still remains for him, how willing even when it ain’t her idea or need.

“Keep ya hand right there, Mamas.” he tells her in a conspiratorial little whisper, “Hims gots a little gift for hers.” he says and Elaine grins wildly in delight, trying to anticipate it, beyond the delicious stretch she readies for with braced and booted feet.

She hears the shlick/shlack of him rubbing something, along with the muffled creaking of his nylon jacket and leather gloves, and after a few moments of white breathed puffing behind her she feels a warm drop hit her finger tip.

Then another, and another and then a little string of liquid and she knows it’s his precum, he’s dripping it onto her hand and Elaine closes her eyes against the bright white landscape of an Aspen morning and imagines his drippy pink cock in a sea of leather and nylon, one warm and vulnerable little knob in the harsh elements and she knocks her forehead against the glass wall in mouthwatering craving.

“Oh Elvis!” she groans, curling her fingers as the puddle grows and begins to puddle in her palm, slicking up her own curls down where her hand is wedged so tightly from her barely removed pants. “Put it in baby, mama wants it, c’mon pretty baby.”

“Ok.” The whine and shuffle she hears behind her sounds like a child clumsily but eagerly obeying and that’s rather characteristic of her man. She bites her gloved thumb at the feel of his tip pressing blindly at her folds, poking and prodding the wrong places for entry and strangely it’s terribly exciting, this inhibited Elvis, this clumsy man who wants her so bad he’d try to bonk her in a sky lift with Pillsbury Doughboy amounts of padding striving to keep them apart.

The path of true love never did run smooth.

The jabbing and novice pokes are worth it for his frustrated little grunts in her ear and the way he tries to wiggle on top of her leaning frame, like extra height is going to help matters. She bends a little further with a fond smirk, wanting to chuckle at the way his arm presses across her shoulder and the back of her neck. It’s so desperate it’s comical and Elaine always has a weakness for being overly wanted by him.

His face is hanging over her left shoulder when he manages to wedge an inch into the correct hole and his hot breath blasts her cheek in relief and she spares a gloved hand from propping herself against the glass to pat his squishy cheek. It’s not fair how packing on a few pounds has seemed to erase the age from him, filling out the wrinkles he collected last decade and turning him into something as cute as the grandsons all over again.

Elaine feels like she did when she was freshly married and he was a chubby cheeked baby man. Even now when she can’t really see his face with the positioning, she can imagine it and it makes her heart flutter. She pats at his face and the scritch of his trimmed sideburns is noisy against the leather, Elvis nuzzles her palm.

Before she knows it he’s got her gloved fingers in his mouth and his teeth clamp against the leather at the tips and he starts to pull the glove off. She helps him, yanking her wrist and he drops the glove over her shoulder like a dog depositing a gift.

“Pet me, mamas.” Elvis begs again and nestles into her body a little further, half way in if she were to guess, and after all these years, she’s a pretty good guesser about little Elvis. “M’too fat to get in all the ways.” he fusses, forlornly starting to hump inside her in aborted little fucks like a bunny with his mate.

The mental image makes Elaine chortle, as do the silly little jabs from those famous hips. He’d get more depth violating a jacuzzi jet but Elvis Presley waits for no man and she supposes if the slide is tight enough to drag his little scarf back and forth, maybe it’ll be sufficient. She clenches for him, little rhythmic kegels that remind her of postpartum rehabilitation and his answering moan encourages her. “That feel good, baby boy? Hmm? Is mama warm and cozy?” she asks, her cheek getting sweaty from where his is pressed to hers.

Into their sixties and Elvis still twitches madly under her doting, purring in her ear when he’s being spoiled.

“Ssso’cozzzeeey.” he slurs right into her ear and she shudders in delight, feeling his arm around her waist through her layers of bundling, his hand on her shoulder needy and insistent.

After a decade of peace and over three so intertwined and inseparable, it’s as if Elvis has forgotten they are separate people. Older and less fastidious over timing or moods, when her husband gets a craving for his better half, he indulges it. It’s wholesomely nasty and Elaine doesn’t expect her children or the public to understand but she gets it.

She leans her forehead against the glass, lets her sweat smudge the clear view, and thinks she sees the specks that are their friends and kids below, commenting on the stalled lift no doubt, and she grins at the notion that Elvis can’t get enough momentum to actually make it obvious as to what these two bundles in the sky are doing.

His chubby and familiar cock is rubbing inside her delightfully as do his balls, hanging lower and swollen by age, smack her backside with every lurch, and she lets out a happy sigh at the slick sounds of his sloppy movements. Elaine can hear when he starts to get close, his breathy moans of exertion quicken and he lets out throaty little noises of delighted panic as his climax nears. His hands grasp her hips over the padding and he nearly climbs on her like it’s a piggy back ride, squirming to get a little deeper before letting out a long and loud sigh of contentment as he lets go, a sigh that has begun to crack at the end in a hoarse moan the older he gets.

“You feel so good, Tink.” he groans into her ear and her pussy clenches at the praise and the feel of his wet slop inside her.

The gush between her legs is obscene due to his shallow depth and just when she thinks he’s done with his deposit, Elvis will jerk some more and out sputters another little bit to join the rest slowly leaking out of her and dripping onto the crotch of her ski pants. “Mmm, shit, I made a mess, mama.” he mumbles apologetically at the obvious and easily foreseeable consequences to his actions.

“S’ok mopey,” she reaches back and strokes his sweaty cheek as he burrows his lips into the collar of her jacket and kisses her neck ardently and grateful, “that do it for ya, baby?” she asks, tipping her head back to allow him more access.

“Yeas,” He sighs happily, “m’all better.” he declares and Elaine’s heart thuds like a teenager from his soft, adoring tone, from the way she’s still his cure-all at all times. “But damn is it soupy down there, sorry mama.”

“You’ve been holding that in for a couple days now,” she coos, “been makin’ you grumpy and it must’ve been so hard, bein’ so full and achy and not able to relieve it.”

Elvis sniffles into her neck even as he begins to pull out, the gush of his release beginning to pour out and she quickly cups her hand to her cunt to catch some of it in her palm and spare her pants just a little.

“It’s been verra rough.” he agrees with a pout that no longer reaches anywhere else on his face save his mouth, quite an improvement from the grumpy storm cloud that was Elvis traveling here yesterday in a crowded Bus with kids and grandkids, deprived of his naps and his autonomy, with his bed full of grandkids at night and unable to have his Tink at whim.

Vacations were nice in theory, and suddenly relieved of his more irritable humors -which Elaine was cupping milky white in her palm- they might end up being nice in practice too. He just needed a little dotin’ on, like a vintage car, one can’t expect it to purr constantly without some upkeep. Tink knows this and she smiles back at him sweetly, same way she smiled at him on the bus when his boyish and round face was puckered in a moody scowl that matched Jack’s a few rows behind.

“Yeah, I know,” she’s still smiling but he watches her glance down to the pearly puddle in her palm as she adds, “but we gotta count our blessings we’ve got kids who wanna bug us as much as they do, people dream about families working as well as ours. Nothin’ we did alone, God’s been good to us, I mean -look at those sweet idiots, they’re not even skiing even though the conditions are perfect, they’re too worried for us. Don’t you think most rich kids would be hoping the car falls so they get the inheritance faster?”

Elvis wheezes a laugh and does a little hop to pull his padded pants back up, struggling with the zipper a bit. Slightly thicker around the middle and he acts like he’s nine months pregnant, unable to fasten his closures or put his shoes on, the pink happiness in his cheeks when Elaine offers to help him, betrays his act each time.

“I’ll help ya, if you need,” she offers, her own pants having been pulled up by him as he’s a gentleman, even if he’s a feral one.

“Yeah baby I need a hand.” grunts and his chin has a soft double under it as he looks down to his fly.

“Well, then clean me up so I can help.” she casually presents her cum coated hand and he balks for a brief moment until her unflinching little smile tells him she’s not kidding in the slightest, and he doesn’t need her to remind him she’ll be waddling and skiing all day in the soupy mess he made in her pants. It’s the least he can do, her eyebrow remind, and with a stuttering little whimper of aversion he takes her wrist in his large, gloved hand and bends over it like he’s gonna kiss it with all his Hollywood honed suavity.

Instead he gets to work on his task with only a fleeting grimace at the tepid saltiness of his own release and his compliance makes Elaine shiver and clench. She can feel the warm little kitten licks from his tongue, so reminiscent of other activities she uses him for, and his black lashes fan against his cheeks through the orange visor of his ski glasses as he peaks up to see her approving expression.

“That’s good enough, well done, let me help you now, sweet man.” she sighs dreamily while rubbing her finger against his curling tongue.

Elaine pats her shiny hand on her leather vinyl ski pants and finds it ineffective for drying it but there’s nothing to be done about it and so she dutifully lifts up his jackets and grasps the top of his pants and brings them together, “Suck in just a lil.” she suggests as her knuckles dig into the soft, hairy flesh of his belly, rubbing against his little treasure trail. “There we go.” she clasps it and he lets out a sigh and she steps back and both smile shyly at each other over the pretense of him needing help with something so easy.

“I love you.” it bubbles out of her lips as she sees him bundled and shy in front of her with a face shiny from his exertions inside her.

Elvis’ pink lips gasp a little at the common little declaration and he brings his large hand to the back of her neck, pulling her in for a deep kiss. She tastes his salty spend still on his tongue and moans into his scorching mouth. Her man and his body -always so warm and never more so than when he’s been freshly sated.

The ski lift jolts and Elaine falls further forward into Elvis’ embrace, losing her footing in the clumsy footwear, and he holds her up, looking above them to find the car has begun to lurch in what he hopes is an intentional motion to help the stall.

“Are we about to die?” Elaine asks with a giggle into the poofy padding of his jacket and his own laugh rumbles under her ear.

“Dunno,” he jokes, “but if we are, I want ya to know I don’t regret a damn thing ‘bout lovin’ you, ‘cept that I just left ya hangin’ in our last ron-day-voo like a green boy.”

Elaine smacks at his arm and feels the ski lift start to slide down the cable as it ought to have a whole half an hour before. “Gosh, I think we’re actually going to make it.” she mutters as their skiing party has remained intact for the most part, loathing to split off before the Boss and Boss Lady made it up safe.

When they get to their drop Elvis helps Elaine hop off the lift and he follows after, being swarmed by kids and grandkids and their friends asking if they’re alright. Which they are, of course they are.

A employee from the Resort, no doubt the fella who got them moving again, comes up and apologizes profusely for the inconvenience.

“Say nothin’ of it boy.” Elvis beams and claps him on the shoulder and Jack shares a look with his wife Vic at the quite obvious attitude adjustment that seems to have occurred since leaving the lodge. “Ya never know, one day I might tip ya for stallin’ an elevator or something so I can get this sweet creature alone for a minute.” and Elvis squeezes Elaine to his side like a typical, flirty old man and the poor employee stops chewing his gum in confusion.

“Uh. Well I’m glad you’re not shaken up, these things are quite safe they just stall occasionally.” the guy assures, loathe to get a bad review from the Presleys of all people.

“Yes of course.” Elaine smiles demurely at him and that should be his signal to move along but he’s one of those overachiever types, rules and regulation sorts, and so he persists.

“What can be dangerous is rocking a car in hopes to get it going.” he explains, “If this happens again, God forbid-“

“-better not.”

“-then it’s really important not to rock the thing or sway it too much, that can snap a cable, really Mr. Presley it’s important you guys don’t try that again.”

“We-we didn’t-“ Elvis is the picture of confusion even as Elaine’s face solidifies into diplomatic blankness.

“But we saw it rocking.” Bee, Shiloh’s best buddy and a tag-along to all Presley events, insists she saw what she saw, which was the lift rocking. She had commented as much to Danny despite his arguments that it was the wind before he dragged her off to watch him fail at a misty ski trick.

That’s why his forehead was busted and Elaine stares at the gash partially hidden by his shaggy brown hair with some concern.

“Must’ve been the wind.” Elvis repeats his son’s logic and Bee stares in confusion as they’re all out to ski because of the lack of wind.

Elaine beckons Danny over and makes his lanky frame crouch a little so she can ascertain the damage to his head while elbowing a still protesting Elvis in the ribs.

“We did try hopping a few times.” she admits breezily and as soon as she says it, Elvis stops his lying, quickly clamping his mouth shut, “Just thought we might get the momentum back. I’m sorry sir, we didn’t know we could die, we won’t try it again.” she assures.

Content the employee leaves them be and the various groups split off for the various courses, eager and red cheeked. Elvis and Elaine agree to shepard the youngest kids in the group down the easier slopes with the help of Rosalee and Sam.

On their way to their starting places Elvis brushes by Elaine, grandchild's hand in his on his opposite side and mutters in her ear, “Shouldn't make promises ya can’t keep.”

🥰 I hope y’all don’t mind me tagging y’all in blurbs as well as fics, most of y’all asked to be tagged in “everything” so I took you pretty literally, lol. Let me know and I’ll remove you for future. Xoxoxo

@paradsol000

@eliseinmemphis

@prompted-wordsmith

@ab4eva

@foreverdolly

@powerofelvis

@butlersxbirdy

@crash-and-cure

@elvisabutler

@heartbrake-hotel

@stylespresleyhearted

@thatbanditqueen

@crazymadpassionatelove

@myradiaz

@ash-omalley

@arianatheangelgirl

@steph-speaks

@burningloverdoll

@angelface-555

@lookingforrainbows

@missmaywemeetagain

@coolgirl462

@kingdomforapony

@18lkpeters

@richardslady121

@from-memphis-with-love

@lillypink

@artlover8992

@pennyroyalcreep

@notstefaniepresley

@ellie-24

@renaissingle

@waiting4brucewayne2adoptme

@presleyenterprise

@marriedtopresley

@ashtag2887

@dkayfixates

@vampireindistress

@ashtag6887

@i-r-i-n-a-a

@obsessedvibee

@peskybedtime

@goth-cowgirl-03

@stephthestallion

@fav-fanficssss

@loving-elvis

@honeyorangess

@soloangel

@xenaspace3-blog

@60svintage

[shima-draws]

how did u get into sanlu/lusan ???! im ever so grateful u did bc oohohhoho my god, ur sanlu content FEEDS MEEE 🤞‼️

It’s funny you ask that bc I kinda already answered that with the last ask?? LOL

TLDR basically it’s become almost habit at this point to ship my favorite characters together (if they are compatible ofc) and Sanji and Luffy ended up becoming my favorites after watching OP for a bit so. It was inevitable 😂

I actually started out as a Zolu shipper (I still am just to a lesser degree now!) so really I think it began there—when I get into something I usually scour the AO3 tags for fics so I was on the hunt for some good Zolu writing. Zosan, being the most popular ship in the fandom (according to AO3 stats with over 10k fics. Holy shit) was also often included with Zolu fics making it a poly ship, so I was like oh hell yeah? I’m totally on board with that. So I got to see a lot of really fun dynamics with the three of them, and I started to get invested in the Sanlu side of things. As this was happening I was also watching OP at the same time and Sanji was quickly rocketing up my list of faves to take one of the top spots (Luffy had already become a favorite from the get go). And my brain was just like

so I was like okay alright. Considering. And then after that I was fucking DONE for. They got me in a vice grip and rotted my brain so thoroughly that I’m utterly ruined for any other Luffy or Sanji ships now. I can even pinpoint the EXACT date it happened bc I posted about it lmao here’s my “realizing Sanlu is the ship of all time” post from early December, the day my life changed forever /j

Anyway they just have a really good dynamic and me being the idiot I was decided not to blacklist spoiler tags so I kept seeing stuff about WCI and how it was THE Sanlu arc so that probably doomed me even further. An arc focusing on my favorite characters and their very not homoromantic relationship with each other? I started binging OP nonstop just so I could speedrun to WCI and this was back when I was on like. Episode 300 something. I was soooo impatient I was desperate to get to WCI as fast as possible so I could Suffer LMAO

So um yeah the Sanlu hyperfixation has me by the throat and doesn’t plan on letting me go anytime soon. Sorry for the rant. I can’t shut up about them Ever

[starflungwaddledee]

Okay you gave me permission so now it's time to go fully autistic

*inhale*

So something I'm really interested in (mostly for my Bandee x Marx bias) is that comic with Marx and Bandee interacting, like, what's their relationship in this au, how'd they get to that point and heck, what was even happening? also it kinda seems like Bandee may be the main guy in this au or is just really important which makes me happy as Bandee isn't treated the best by Nintendo at all (hell, Sakrai said he didn't add Bandee into smash because he didn't like him) so seeing Bandee get the spotlight always brings me joy

And about the Meta and Galacta comic, it seems like Bandee plays a factor here too, with the mention of him being what gets the most reaction out of Meta and that makes sense because canonically Bandee is the weakest of the four and most likely to die quite easily, so it would make sense for the others to be protective of him

ALSO META BEING SEALED AWAY AND GALACTA SAYING HE'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF, I'M ASSUMING BANDEE, DOES THAT MEAN GALACTA TAKES META'S PLACE??? HELLO???

anyway hi im really invested and also your art is fucking astounding

hell yea, fully autistic! the best kind of message! thank you also for the sweet words about my artwork ahhh! but hoo boy isn't this The Ask Ever. okay, let's get into it!

Bandee is, i think maybe obviously, my most specialist little guy ever and everything i make is likely about him in one way or another. so you're correct that he is indeed the main guy in both these AUs; he is the central protagonist which i think he deserves!!

(but he does also go through the angst blender a bit, just like... a warning. i adore happy endings but before that i do tend to meat-grind my faves pretty well in the drama machine.)

clockwork heart is actually a spin-off of awtdy (we do a little AU-ception in my household) which is our* primary au. (*a lot of my au work and headcanons are fleshed out very collaboratively with my girlfriend! the initial concept for awtdy was her idea, which i then very meanly shoved my bandee-important agenda into lmao)

awtdy sets this basic alternate world-state: during the Haltmann invasion, Galacta Knight defeats Meta Knight in battle and makes a wish on Star Dream to trade places.

this causes all sorts of terrible fun problems for everybody and basically gives rise to a bad timeline that a lot of folks do not come out of intact (rip floralia)

the Meta Knight vs Galacta Knight comic covers an important turning point in the story, where Meta Knight lets slip that he cares about Bandee the way he cares for Kirby. Meta Knight has an especially strong reaction to this for two reasons:

one is because, as you said, of the three remaining heroes Bandee is the most vulnerable-- seasoned and experienced fighter he may be, but against someone like Galacta Knight? 💦 he's still ultimately just a mortal dude. this obviously puts him at terrible risk, because Galacta Knight also considers him far more expendable than Kirby.

"i'll take good care of him" is transparently a threat and not actually... you know, kind.

secondly is because (unbeknownst to Galacta Knight) Bandee uniquely remembers Meta Knight. he knows that the timeline is screwed up and Galacta Knight is not meant to be there, and is actively working to rescue his real dad mentor. Meta Knight knows that if he's found out, Galacta Knight won't hesitate to kill him.

suffice to say the guilt of this would drive him capital i Insane!

as for the Marx "hurt like hell" comic, I am actually sorry to have to tell you that that scene is their first ever interaction in this au! 😂 in this alternate version of the story Marx is also aware of the timeline fuckery (due to his existence as an eldritch, temporal little creature) and he tracks Bandee down late in the game with a risky trade offer; which Bandee refuses. that's what's pictured in the comic!

it goes on for quite a long ways after that; though I don't know if it'll tickle your ship dynamic quite right because Marx is mildly antagonistic towards Bandee (and everyone) the whole time. so while they are cursed to be Stuck Together By The Narrative they are not really close or even particularly friendly.

they do indeed interact in it quite a lot, and I personally think Marx would gladly shoot his shot if he was offered it; but Bandee is neck-deep in a different ship for the entirety of awtdy and is especially miserable/pining as hell throughout clockwork heart.

but that's okay because Bandee is, uh-- totally fine!! he's normal. he's fine. he's very very fine and things will be very very okay.

[lovelyelbowleech]

I am living for all the potential upcoming Shen/Kazuma drama. Side note, do they have a ship name yet? I have no idea how I have become this emotionally invested in a pair of OCs, but truly some of the best side ships I have come across.

For the ask game, can I go with captain, admiral, or lieutenant?

There will certainly be some Shen/Kazuma drama 😂 I have seen Shenzuma and Kazushen as ship names in comments - so I think it’s whatever you like! I am glad you are enjoying them, it always makes me happy to hear! 

For the ask game, we have two of the three: 

Lieutenant:

Lieutenant Li was missing from the cells.

Admiral:

“Admiral?” Hisao approached him, calm and cool. He was a far cry from Ro who's appetites, stupidity and bad decisions still haunted him.

[thebadgerclan]

Whole Heart

Pairing: Jesper Fahey x reader x Wylan Van Eck

Summary: Wylan returns from a trip to Shu Han...

A/N: I know I mentioned something smutty, but I stressed myself out with school so I needed something fluffy 😂

Also I wrote this bc WYLAN NEEDS LOVE

This was uncharted territory for Wylan.  He’d grown up without knowing any sort of love, any sort of happiness.  And now he had not one, but two of the most attractive people in the Barrel who wanted to be his.  He swore he’d wake up back in his father’s house, sure this was some cruel dream.  But he woke up every morning in yours and Jesper’s bed, in your arms, and slowly, steadily, Wylan was coming to believe in his new reality.

He’d been asked to travel to Bhez Ju to speak on behalf of the Merchant Council and their newest investment, leaving you and Jesper in Ketterdam.  “I won’t be more than a week, a week and a half at the most,” Wylan had said, which led to Jesper pouting and you drawing your lover into your arms.  “Ignore him, we’ll be fine.  I mean, we’ll miss you like crazy, but we’ll survive.”  “Speak for yourself, Y/N!” Jesper lamented.  “How am I expected to survive without my precious darling boy?”

The next morning, when you and Jesper saw him off at the docks, Wylan heavily debated throwing his bags into the harbor and making Jesper carry him home.  But he kissed you goodbye, accepted Jesper’s bone-crushing hug, and boarded the ship to Shu Han.  It was only an hour into the voyage that Wylan realized just how hard this trip would be without the two of you.  When he saw dolphins from his cabin window, all he’d wanted to do was tell you, to show Jesper, but you weren’t there.

It seemed that now that he’d gotten a taste of what it meant to be loved, Wylan couldn’t go without it.  He would do his best to push that aside and go what he’d been sent on this trip to do, but every spare moment, his thoughts were occupied by your smile, by Jesper’s laugh, by the feeling of your arms around him, keeping him safe.  Back in Ketterdam, you and Jesper were faring no better.  Wylan had only been a part of your relationship for a month or so, but in that short time, he had integrated seamlessly into your life.

Jesper came to expect the sound of flute music lilting through the halls, to smell Wylan’s shampoo on his pillow, because he could never seem to keep his head on his own; you’d come to relish Wylan popping into your study to tell you about the new piece he’d been working on or the progress he’d made with his reading.  When the three of you would fall into bed at night, it was common for Wylan to sandwich himself right between you and Jesper, wanting to be cradled in both of your arms.

But now, the halls were quiet, Jesper’s pillow smelled like his own shampoo.  Your work was uninterrupted, and the bed felt far too large.  And as nice as it was to spend some time alone with Jesper, you both missed your other lover, you missed Wylan.  The week passed far too slowly, and when the door opened on a Saturday morning, you flew from your seat in the living room.

“My baby’s home!” you cried, running into the entryway.  Wylan had barely set his bags down when you swept him into your arms, peppering his face and neck with kisses.  “Y/N!” he giggled, and oh, what a beautiful sound that was.  “Ghezen, I missed you, we both missed you, love.”  Wylan wrapped his arms around your waist and held you, nuzzling his face into your chest.  “I missed you too.”  For several minutes, you stood with your boyfriend in your arms, stroking his hair and kissing his temples.  “I love you,” you whispered, and Wylan shuddered, still somewhat unaccustomed to being openly adored.

“I love you too,” he replied, and you coaxed his head from your chest.  “I think there’s someone upstairs who’s just as excited to see you as I am.”  His face lit up at the mention of his other lover, and Wylan wound have bolted up the stairs if he hadn’t been so reluctant to let go of your hand.  But you followed him to the bedroom, where Jesper was still dozing, happily watching as Wylan perched himself on the edge of the bed.  

He bent to press a gentle kiss to the Zemini’s forehead, causing his face to scrunch up.  “Jesper,” Wylan said, kissing his cheek.  “Wake up, darling.”  “Hmm, Wylan….  Wylan?”  Jesper sat up, nearly knocking his boyfriend over, a mad smile overtaking his face.  “Wy, sweetheart, you’re home!”  “I am–oh!”  Jesper pulled Wylan into his lap and kissed him deeply, making the mercher blush.

You moved to sit on your side of the bed, draping your arm over Jesper’s shoulder and pressed a kiss to his cheek.  “I missed you so much, baby,” Jesper said, his forehead resting against Wylan’s.  “I was only gone a week,” Wylan said, and you laughed. “It felt longer than that, honey,” you said, and Wylan was all too eager to accept your kisses, your embraces, to be showered in love and attention from you and Jesper.

It took a fair amount of convincing, but Wylan managed to separate himself from both of you long enough to change into pajamas.  The journey back to Ketterdam had been rough; storms the entire time, and Wylan hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep.  And being back in his lovers’ arms had him nodding off in seconds.  “I love you,” he said, snuggling between you and Jesper; lying on his side facing you, his face pressed into your chest, with Jesper spooning him from behind.  This was usually how the three of you slept, the position letting Wylan be held by both of his lovers.

“I love you too, Wy,” Jesper replied, kissing the back of his neck.  “Love you too, baby,” you said, smoothing his hair from his face.  “We love you so much.”  Wylan’s heart felt like it could explode with how happy he was, with how much he loved the two of you, and as he fell asleep, he was smiling.  Jesper reached over his sleeping boyfriend and cupped your cheek.  You reached up and laid your hand over his, squeezing it gently.  “I have my whole heart again,” you said, and Jesper hummed.  “So do I.”

[daphwritesworld]

Oh I feel a little bad for the England players when these three are in the same room at camp 😂

They have to sit there and act like their skipper isn't having a little too adventurous hands running across R's hips in the middle of the gym

And this is before Leah and Keira get their heads out of their asses, so they first of all are constantly glancing to Keira like 'we good with this??? Okay...we're okay with this' and then their eyes popping out of their heads when Keira is whispering into Leah's ear and getting her flustered like 'wait, so...are they all...huh???'

The will they, won't they being the longest torture for them and then the confession happens and they feel happy. For all of 5 seconds until they hear them going at it like rabbits in their rooms, practically sitting on each other's laps when they're just trying to have breakfast, looking at the Captains armband with contempt when it goes missing for the fourth time

-🧠

oh god me too 😭 they’d be so confused at first. especially the first time they see Leah just all over R with Keira not even 10 feet away. just the wide eyes and looking back and forth like “are you guys seeing this shit?” i can totally see the english teammates making a gc without any of the throuble members. so they can gossip and throw in theories about what’s going on. one of the girls is always updating it like:

“INCOMING: SUSPECTS ARE ALL 3 GIGGLING AND PLAYING FOOTSIE ON THE BENCH!”

usually with a stealthy taken photo attached for proof🤣 (Beth totally started the gc) but no seriously when it finally comes out they’re just screaming about “WE KNEW IT!” and a bunch of congratulations. then the dread sinks in as soon as the absolute nonstop fucking starts. it’s to the point they’ve all invested in some very good industrial grade earplugs. comfy and efficient.

oh god and the captain armband….those nights are always the funnest. usually after a win when everybody’s adrenaline is still pumping long into the night. those 3 always seem to slip out of whatever club, restaurant, or any location that the team is celebrating at. it never fails. they’re like fucking ghosts— there one minute and gone the next. because on those nights…that’s when Keira let’s Leah have full control over both herself and R. I mean she is Captain after all. And that title definitely follows her into the bedroom those nights. and no one runs a tighter ship then Leah. you think Keira’s a controlling dom? you’ve just never seen Leah with the power of a captain’s band around her bicep while the cockiness of the win radiates out of her pores.🤭

i’ll stop now for my own sake

[sessakag]

Is it rude if I say that I hated Naruto for still simping on Sakura in this chapter? Like I know that it is illogical for him to fall with Hinabunny in just two weeks. But I just can't help but worry about Hina-bun and how hurt she will be if she learns that she was 'used' to make the girlfriend jealous 🥺🥲.

I was a bit mollified when he ended up defending her against Kiba's shenanigans.

Lastly, I love seeing more of the dynamics and relationship of the boys in the story. It makes the whole story more interesting for me.

Thank you so much now I'm delving into the Prey updates and by the looks of it from your recent posts, Prey!Naruto and driving everyone paranoid 😂🙈

Nah, not rude at all🤭trust me I understand. Imagine me, a absolute addict for NaruHina having to write that😭I was mad with him too, I had to write that scene three times because the first two were not convincing at all😂had to force myself to imagine him in love with Sakura🤢that was tough as hell😩but! it does indeed make everything that's about to follow a lot more satisfying🤭

Naruto's more invested than he thinks🤭the incident with Kiba speaks volumes.

I had a blast with the guys hanging out. The personality changes I gave them helps make their conversations lively, and I love showing their bonds with each other💕My best friend and me are a lot like them, roasting each other and cracking jokes😂He's got a crazy mouth like Naruto and Kiba combined🤭his default is laid back like Shikamaru but he also has a temper as short as Naruto's, lmao.

Prey!Naruto is driving folks up the wall!😂he's just really unpredictable and violent it's hard to not worry about everybody, especially anybody redheaded and everybody involved, directly or indirectly with Hinata😅Basically he's being his normal self and it making everybody sweat🙈