#for like an hour bc i felt so GUILTY for not thinking about her as much as i usually do but the guilt mixed w thinking abt her is making me

[pierregaslays]

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[tropicalszns]

hii i just saw your recent post asking for requests.

i was thinking about one where nanami’s your therapist and you’ve been going through a difficult time recently, maybe with like work or family stuff, and you feel he’s the only one you feel calm by and end up catching feelings and he definitely likes you too, and then at some point when she has a breakdown in a session and it all blurts out and then sfw or nsfw from there lmao. maybe he feels guilty about reciprocating or smth bc it’s not professional. ‘we shouldn’t be doing this’ type shi.

love your work btw and your page is so pretty xx

THERAPY SESSIONS !

⋆˚⟡˖° 𐙚 nanami kento x black!fem!reader

about

you end up falling in love with your therapist, nanami, but he loves u too

content contains

NSFW ! ꒱ angsty-fluff, finger-fucking, crying, mention of death (brief), consent checks, cowgirl position, backshotsss, nanami just being such a sweetheart i love him

word count

4,427

a/n

THANK YOU SM!! it rlly brings a smile to my face when people love my work bc it motivates me to keep making more content!! this one is saur interesting, i hope this is good type shi

Your leg bounced against the wooden floor. Your heart thumping with anxiety, your skin freezing with goosebumps. The air around you felt cold and dry, the water filter two seats away from you could be heard buzzing softly. The coffee table in the middle was filled with magazines, talking about subjects about celebrities and how to stay consistent with your routines or something of that nature. But alas, none of them was in your interest.

You pressed your back against the plastic black chair, placing your arms on the cold, metal armrest. Your breath hitched, looking around the dull room. This was hour first time going through with therapy. Of course, it wasn’t your first time— but it technically was. You were either too scared or never enjoyed the therapist you were talking to. They would be too inconsiderate, too busy, or you just didn’t like them.

You were snapped out of your thoughts, only to be heard by your first and last name. Your ears perked up, “Yes?” You felt a pairs of eyes watching you as you rose up from your seat, it felt triggering. You saw a lady with a slicked back bun, thin-rimmed glasses and a mole by her bottom lip. She smiled at you so sweetly, her shirt having the logo of the company on her right chest, and her pants having a slick leather texture. Her arms having dainty, small gold bracelets and bangles.

“Mr. Nanami is ready for you,” she announced. “follow me.” You nodded, following her down the hallways. Each step felt nerve-wracking, the hallways felt like they were creeping in, and the air continued to feel colder and drier. It was like your mind was spinning, you couldn’t control your unsteady breathing.

“Here we are.” She interrupted your thoughts with the open door of your therapist’s counseling office. It was a white painted room, plants specifically placed around, a large dark-ish blue couch with white and ivory pillows. A thin gold table, two books placed on top of each other. A small fake plant in a wooden circular vase. Across from it sat a man with slicked back and neatly parted blonde hair, a chiseled jawline, with some fitting thin eyebrows and small eyes. He wore a necktie with a dotted pattern, blue dress shirt underneath his tan blazer with matching slacks and light brown shoes.

You blinked at him, slowly stepping into the room. It was a contrasting temperature from what the waiting room was. The door closed behind you which made you jolt. You glanced around the room, fiddling with your fingers. “Good afternoon,” the man spoke, his voice deep and thrilling. “you can have a seat on the couch.” His hand stretched out the dark blue couch.

You nodded, making your way to the couch and sitting down. “Hello,” he smiled. You looked around the room, moving back against the couch. “Hi.” You waved, returning the smile sheepishly. “how are you feeling, today?” He asked, adjusting clipboard on his lap. He took a pen from his chest pocket and clicked it. The clicking of the pen made you uneasy, letting out a sigh.

“I’m feeling fine, I guess.” You shrugged. Nanami could tell that you were feeling uncomfortable and uneasy, he wrote down your initial reaction upon entrance and hummed. “So, I see that you’re feeling a bit nervous? Is this your first time going to therapy?” He assumed, watching you subconsciously bite on your bottom lip and fiddle around with your fingers. “No.” You shook your head.

“I’ve went to therapy before, it’s just they never worked out for me. I didn’t like my therapist, so I just stopped for a few months because I.. I was just scared to try it again.” You explained. You couldn’t help but look into his eyes, they were so mesmerizing, so.. relaxing? “So you came here because you wanted a rebuttal at it?” He interrupted. You nodded, watching him write down the words you’ve just said. “Well, I am glad you’re giving therapy a shot. My name is Dr. Kento Nanami, but feel free to address me however you’d prefer.” He chuckled dryly, trying to lighten up the mood. “Let’s start off with some questions, shall we? I want to get to know you.” He said warmly.

“To begin, what do you expect from our therapy sessions? For example, you expect to experience this, or you expect to feel this after a session.” Nanami spoke in a soft and polite manner, making you feel at ease. “Uhm, I expect to feel better, I guess?” Your breathing came out roughly, your hands rubbing on your knees. “Better? How so?” He questioned

“Better as in, I expect to feel more aware of my feelings and learn how to control them. I have a rough time with doing that because I tend to let my emotions get the best of me.” You spilled out your thoughts for a moment, not intending to. “Hm, interesting.” He marked down in the clipboard. “Well, what do you mean by letting your emotions get the best of you? Can I get an example.” He tilted his head ever so slightly. He was so interested in you, as he is with his other clients but you were different, he didn’t know how. The warm and comforting smile never leaving his face as he watches you speak. You were slowly getting more comfortable in the environment, which is a great sight to see from Nanami.

“Well, I was having an argument with my mom this one time and it got pretty heated. I wasn’t that mad at her but in the moment things got so intense so I just yelled at her and accidentally smashed her vase.” Your eyes filled with guilt, looking down at your hands on your knees. “It was a vase that my grandmother, her mom, gave her to her. Unfortunately she isn’t here anymore.. and it won’t be the same if I buy a new one.” Your vision began to cloud up, you swiftly wiped your tears before they fell. “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Nanami’s smile dropped, his heart aching for you.

Nanami passed you the tissue box, you shook your head. “I’m fine.” You reassured, but both of you knew that you weren’t. “She got mad at me for about a couple months, we don’t really talk like that anymore. I just feel really bad about it. When I let my emotions get the best of me, I tend to do things out of my character, then that’s when I mess up.” You frowned, your heart thumping with anxiety as you continue to confess.

“I’ve lost friends, I’ve lost relationships with people I love all because I couldn’t control my emotions. I sit in my room and think if I’m just a bad person and I’m trying to change but I feel so alone and weak.” You finally let the tears run down your cheeks, wiping them with the wrist of your hand. “Sorry.” You apologized, you sniffed away some snot that probably wasn’t gonna run down your nose. “It’s okay, there’s nothing to be sorry about. I actually applaud you for telling me this, you’re taking baby steps which is a great step in the right direction.” He comforted. Nanami watched you nod at yourself but you still didn’t look proud. “I don’t think you’re a bad person, I don’t like that type of wording. You seem like a wonderful woman to be around.” Nanami’s smiled appeared once more.

“Thanks.” You felt your lips quiver into a smile for a second. You’ve been told this by many people before, but it honestly never felt genuine. Somehow and someway hearing it from him, from Kento, made you feel more confident on the inside. He seemed genuine. “I like that smile, y’know.” He saw a sparkle in your eyes he wanted to see more often. You shyly looked away. “Um, can I lay down?” You asked. Nanami nodded, “Of course. Do whatever makes you comfortable. This is a safe space.” He reminded. You lied down on the couch, pressing your back against the pillows and moving the others to rest your legs on the armrest carefully.

“Let’s move on, shall we?”

It’s been a good half a year after that first session. Each week you came back to see Nanami, and each session made you feel more and more comfortable in talking to him about your issues with work, school and just life. You couldn’t help but feel stomach churns when you’re near him. Recently you’d just gotten his number so you can talk to him after-hours about things.. professional of course.

You’d wake up early, already to see a text awaiting for you. “Good morning, hope your day turns out great! Can’t wait to see you for our session, much love, Nanami.” Much love. Much love. You felt like you were going crazy about this man. It was cutting into your work life. Every second, you would check your phone to see if he would text you knowing well he was at work, with other clients. The thought of seeing him talking to people besides you made you itch in your skin.

Your boss had told you multiple times to get off your phone when you’re on the clock, but you couldn’t help it. You know his break time, the time he starts work and the time it ends. It was getting to be an unhealthy obsession. You came home after a long day at work, plopping onto your bed. Your hands crossed over your chest, staring into the ceiling fan that was circulating around. “Do I like him?” You wondered. No, you shouldn’t. He was strictly your therapist, what a weird power dynamic. But he would always reach out to you after sessions, he even told you that you’re the only client he gave his number to! For fucks sake, he called you a client! Your hands reached your face, you began groaning loudly at your dilemma. You definitely like him.

But there was no way you could tell him that, everything would get awkward and you hated it. You didn’t want to switch to another therapist because you just so happened to like your current one. But you can’t leave Nanami alone. You want to be with him, you want him to call you a beautiful girl, a wonderful girl, you wanted his praise. It was like the only thing that mattered to you. You loved how genuine he was, he told you no lies and you loved that most about him. Nanami was perfect, so well kept, so professional, he had a PhD in psychology! He was so smart! There you are working an office job, never getting time to yourself. You didn’t know what to do with your life.

You knew this feeling was probably gonna wash away after a week or two. You were wrong, after each session the attraction and desire for him got stronger. The way he smiled at you was so captivating. His hair so neat, his golden watch glistening, his skin so soft and perfect. It could make a grown man cry from how beautiful he was. You knew deep in your heart, you had a deep desire and love for Kento Nanami, you couldn’t hide it anymore.

During one of your sessions, you began talking to him how overwhelming the workload and frustration. You were lied down on the couch, tears streaming down your cheeks. “My boss just expects so much more from me now, and I know I have been slacking but he’s giving me extra work to seem like if I don’t do it he has a reason to fire me.” You vented, squeezing a stress ball that he gave you. “Breathe..” Nanami reminded.

You took a deep breath, turning your head away. “Why have you been slacking, you’ve been telling me that work has been going well, suddenly you’ve been getting distracted? Can we talk about that?” He carefully asked, you were in such an emotional state he wanted to pick his words wisely. Nanami watched you chew your bottom lip, your fat tears streaming down your face onto your neck. He took a moment of silence for you.

“You’re gonna be weirded out, I can’t.” You shook your head. Nanami only smiled, “What? Impossible. I could never be weirded out by you.” Usually his words would reassure you, but this time it didn’t. No amount of comforting or soothing he can do could make you feel less guilty. You wanted this feeling to go away but you can’t, you wanted— no, you needed him. “Talk to me, I promise nothing you say or do will make me feel weirded out like you’re saying.” He continued to speak, his concern started to peak.

“Nanami,” you turned your head to him, you began to subconsciously squeeze the stress ball harder. “I.. you know how we’ve been texting a lot after sessions, and I’ve been trying to see what times you text me back, what you’re trying to text me..” Nanami chuckled, “You think I’m gonna be weirded out because you like to text back at my—” “Nanami, I think I’m inlove you.” The room went silent, no words could be spoken in that moment. Nanami’s breath hitched, it was like an eye-opener. There was no deny that he definitely had feelings for you as well, but he couldn’t say that, not in here.

“Are you..” he hummed, looking down at his clipboard. “Okay, well. Let’s..-” “I don’t wanna talk about it right now, can we just switch topics, please?” You interrupted, Nanami nodded. “As you wish..” he said lowly, guilt filling your eyes even more. It pained him to see you in that state, but it pained you even more to think you’ve went days thinking about him and practically losing your mind.

Later that night, you were curled in your bed, blankets over you as you closed your curtains and blocked any type of light. Your phone suddenly buzzed, turning over and picking your phone from the night stand. Your eyes squinted, it was a text from Nanami. “Hello, I know you were pretty upset about our session today, I’m sorry for unsatisfactory communication between us. I’d like to know if I can come over and talk things with you. I’d hate to see you upset. With everything going on, you don’t have to reply. Sweet dreams, Nanami.” You quickly replied back, telling him that he can come over and briskly gave him your address.

You got out of bed and rubbed your eyes, you took off your bonnet and tossed it somewhere, opening your curtains and trying your best to make everything look in tip-top shape. You got a text from him saying that he was outside, you sprinted and opened the door. You wiped your eyes, taking deep breathes before opening the door slowly. A small smile appeared on your face. “Nanami…” you said lowly. He smiled back, waving. “Hey listen, I’m sorry I acted so weird during our session today, I just so overwhelmed and.. I’m just really sorry, so much.. going on.” You allowed him in, and he only shook his head.

“It’s alright, I can understand. I’m sorry for such a short notice, I just wanted to talk to you.” He calmly spoke. You observed that he was still in his uniform but he had no blazer. His body so well-built and damn, he was tall. “Yeah, totally.. uhm,” you nodded, trying to maintain your cool as you glanced around. “Uh, would you like any water? Tea?” You offered, but he only kindly shook his head. “No, thank you. I don’t plan to stay long.” You felt your mouth get dry, gulping down your saliva. “Alright, well.. we can sit on the couch, my room is a bit messy.” You chuckled sheepishly.

You both made it to the couch and you sat down next to him. You watched Nanami sit down, a soft groan escaped his lips, he pushed his hair back to return it back to its slick and neat appearance. “Nanami.. before you talk I just wanted to apologize for telling you I’m in love with you. I shouldn’t have said that, at all. I put you in such an uncomfortable position and I didn’t even consider thinking if you were married or taken by someone.” You took a saddening moment to breathe. “It’s alright. ‘Cause I’m in love with you too.” You felt your body freeze, you raised a brow.

You began to laugh awkwardly, “Joking, right?” Nanami wasn’t smiling, he didn’t look like he had a joke planned for you. “Are you serious? I- I don’t know what to say.” Your heart began to pump faster than you can think. “You don’t have to say anything,” he reassured, he got closer to you, placing a hand on your thigh. “Can I.. kiss you?” He asked. Without any hesitation you nodded your head, “Yes!— I- I mean, yeah, of course.” Nanami lightly chuckled, he put his hand on your cheek, a thumb grazing your bottom lip. He admired your soft lips, he moved his thumb and pressed his lips on yours. You’ve been waiting for this moment, for months.

“Nanami..” you tried to speak, “Hush, please.” He silenced you. “I want you to enjoy this, I want you to relax.” He hummed. He pulled you on his lap, continuing to kiss you. You put your hands on his shoulders, the kiss becoming intense. “So beautiful,” he whispered, sliding his hand up your shirt, caressing your back. His lips kissing into your neck, hearing your sweet moans. He swore he could feel his slacks get tighter from him getting so hard from this.

Nanami slid your shirt off, revealing your glowy and supple skin. He couldn’t help but stare. You still in your pants with only a bra on now, you were such a sight for sore eyes. “Tell me when things get too fast. Alright, dear?” The cute pet name made you shudder, “Mhm.” You hummed. “I love you.” He looked at you, watching tears swell up. He knew this wasn’t professional, hell he shouldn’t even have been at your place. But, he couldn’t help himself. He’s gotten so close to you it’s like he couldn’t imagine a world without you in it. He loves you and he doesn’t think his job will even get in the way.

He knew this was wrong, his mind fogged with questions on how he got to this point with a mere client. He didn’t know why he was saying “I love you” to a client. He didn’t know why he wanted you. He didn’t know why he wanted to hold you, kiss you, be by your side. He didn’t understand himself, but all he knew was that he wanted more. “I love you too, Ken.” You spoke back. He pressed his face against your shoulder.

Sucking and kissing on your neck. Leaving a light purple mark that definitely will be able to show. He was so obsessed with your body. It was so soft, so sweet and rich. He had used his free hand and tried adjusting himself in his slacks. “Shit.” He cursed underneath his breath. “I need you..” he muttered. “Can I fuck you, please?” You were so taken aback by his politeness even though you were already half naked. “Nanami, you’re already stripping me.” You prompted. “I know, my love, it’s just.. I need to make sure you’re okay with this.” Nanami felt nervous and he usually wasn’t anxious about anything. The thought of him pumping his dick so roughly in your pussy made his dick twitch from his pants. He wanted this, so why was he scared?

“I am, I’m fine.” You assured. Nanami took a breath before sliding off your pants off, now you were in just your bra and underwear. He felt his heart racing as he slid your underwear down, he could see how damp the fabric was. He bit his bottom lip, moving his thick middle finger inside of your tight, wet pussy. You immediately clenched, gasping and slapping a hand over your mouth. “No— fuck.. are you okay?” He asked, his finger being trapped inside you. “Yes.. it’s just, your finger is just.. Give me a minute.” He nodded, letting you to adjust to his big finger. While he waited for the green light, he took your hand off your mouth. “I wanna hear you, your noises.. they are nice to listen.” Nanami expressed which made you flustered.

He instead held your hand, using his finger to pump you in and out. “Does that feel good?” He whispered, your back arching as you squeezed your eyes shut. “Ah- fuck..” you moaned. You gripped his hand tighter, trying to keep your composure. “F-feels so good..” you managed to spill out, your hips subconsciously bucking up as his finger slid deep inside you. The sounds of your juices gushing along his finger. He was knuckle-deep inside you, watching you break down over just one finger.

He thought that you were ready then slid his middle finger out. Before you could speak, he put in both his middle and ring finger. You clenched tightly around his fingers, your clit throbbing with sensation. “Oh- fuck! Kento..” you whined out. “Is it too much for you, sweetheart?” He asked. You simply shook your head, “No, I can take it..” you tried to say smoothly but your back arched, letting out a deep moan. “I’d hope so.” He muttered. You felt Nanami thrust his fingers into you deeper, you were on the brink of losing it all.

His thumb grazing over your clit and gently rubbing it. You dug your nails into the knuckles of his hands. Your other hand gripping his shoulders with your face curling up in pleasure. “Are you about to cum for me?” Nanami spoke. His deep voice sending thrilling chills through your body, “Mhm..” with your hum he pulled his fingers out of you.

“W-what? Why’d you do that?” You whined, the fullness that lingered left you. “Not yet, I want to put it inside..” he unbuckled his belt and zipped down his slacks, sliding his boxers along with it. You glanced down at his dick, gasping in shock. He raised a brow, “Is there something wrong?” He asked. You shook your head, “No- it’s- I’m sorry, I was just shocked I guess.” Nanami felt a twinge of embarrassment.

“I’m gonna put it in, alright?” He placed both hands on your hips. You cringed from the wet fingers attached onto you. One hand gliding his pink, fat tip that was wet with pre-cum along your wet pussy. He let out a throaty groan as he shoved his dick inside, his face scrunching up with desire. He heard your sweet moans leave your mouth, giving him no time to adjust before clenching around him. “Please, y- you’re gonna make me cum, don’t clench like that.” He grunted, “M’sorry, I can’t help it..” You apologized, “It’s okay, sweetheart. Jus’ take it,” he looked up at you, his hands easing to your waist. Nanami was too focused on wanting you to cum all over him, he didn’t ask if he could move. He began to thrust in and out of your sloppy pussy.

“N- Nanami, fuck, s’good.” Your words began to slur, your lips connecting to his to distract you from the increasingly rough and deep strokes. He kissed you back, moving his tongue in your mouth and swirling your tongues around. “Feels good, sweetheart?” He whispered against your lips. Your ass slapped against his thighs, your wetness smothering over his shaft and balls. You hummed, your arms wrapping around his shoulders. “Mhm, yeah.. s’deep.” Your moans couldn’t be stopped, your jaw dropping leaving your mouth wide open.

Your fingers rose up to his undercut, biting your lip as Nanami squeezes your ass. His thrust began to falter, the way your moans were clear in his ears made his dick twitch. Nanami grunted, it was getting hard and harder for him to concentrate. He meant to pull out but he was so drunk off your pussy it slipped his mind.

He slipped out of you and panted. He laid you on the couch on all fours, even though you could barely stand up on your own. Without any thought, he shoved his dick back inside you, groaning with pleasure as his hand grip your ass, fucking you roughly on your couch. “K- Kento, slow… slower please.” But Nanami didn’t listen, he unclasped your bra, pushing the straps off your shoulders. “Sweetheart, your pussy,” he moaned, his lips your ear as he played with your nipples. His chest against your back as he went faster and harder. “I love it so much, f- fuck, you’re gonna make me cum so quick.”

You subconsciously clenched around him, your nails digging into the armrest. You felt your eyes roll back into your head, your ass slapping against his waist, your boobs jiggling each thrust. “Ken.. M’gunna cum..” you warned, but he didn’t care. “Cum, sweetheart. Please, I need it so much.” Nanami swore he going crazy, his dick twitching as he kissed on your shoulder- the exact same spot he left the hickey. You took a hand and rubbed your throbbing and aching clit, putting your head down as you moaned. Nanami hid his face in the crook of your neck, pumping himself roughly into you, trying to make you cum. The euphoric feeling washed over you, soaking Nanami’s dick with your sweet juices. “Kennnn..” you whine. Nanami felt you shake underneath him, he was restricting himself so much he couldn’t help it anymore. He pushed your head down, firmly gripping your hair.

“Shh, please, take it, I’m almost there..” your muffled moans filled the couch, your legs tensing up as you soon felt a warm sensation in your stomach. The sounds of Nanami’s cum gushing into your womb made you whine. It filled you up so much, curling your toes in pleasure. Even after a minute he was still going, so much cum filling you, you were bound to get pregnant.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I couldn’t..” he panted, taking his hand off your hair and wrapping his hands around your waist. He still was deep inside you, not daring to move a singular muscles. He planted soft kisses on your neck.

“I love you, even if it’s wrong..”

made by, tropicalszns, please do not copy, steal or repost my work without permission

[bangchansgirlsblog]

Heyyy, give me something angsty with Felix please🥰 like maybe she comes home really tired and he’s just mad about everything small and calls her clingy🙀 and they go to bed angry (really bad idea btw never do that‼️) and then in the morning she tries to avoid him bc she doesn’t want to seem clingy? Happy ending tho, I can’t take too much heartbreak🩵

By my side.

Warnings: Yelling and crying.

Paring: Felix x Reader.

This is my first Felix story and I messed it up lol. Anyways. Enjoy 🩷

**

Y/n slowly removed her shoes at the door trying not to make a sound. Her body was aching and she was extremely exhausted. She moved like a sloth as she put away everything; her coat, her bag, etc.

When she heard the sound of banging dishes she knew her boyfriend, Felix, was home from his schedules.

Never in her life did she ever think she would be so irritated by his presence. She thought she would come home to a quiet house, she really wanted to be alone since work was so tiring.

"Oh! Hey my love," Felix face lit up when he saw his girlfriend walk through the living room. He quickly hurried around the counter to give her a kiss in which she returned.

"Heyy," she said trying to be as energetic as him but completely failed. Her chest was tight and all she wanted to do was cry.

"What's the matter?" He frowned when he noticed her little pout, "how was work?"

His hands automatically land on her waist trying to sooth the not's on her back. He cringed at how stiff she was and automatically knew she wasn't in a good mood.

"Can I have some alone time babe," she shrugged his hands off and started to make her way to their room.

"Did something happen?" Felix frowned as he quickly followed behind. She let out a frustrated sigh seeing he was still going on. He heard the sigh and was a little hurt by it but decided to push it to the side and make sure she was okay. That was what mattered right now.

"Nothing, I just want to be alone Lix-"

"I made us brownies! We can eat it with ice cream and chocolate-"

"Felix! For the love of God I said it's enough! Leave me alone. You're being clingy." She screamed and slammed the bathroom door in his face. He quickly took a step back in disbelief. He was hurt and it was so obvious.

His heart ached. He didn't know what to do but stand there hearing her soft sobs. Should he say something? Should he wait outside? Should he leave?

He was overthinking it. His hands were shaking and tears filled his eyes. She never yelled at him. Never did she even try to tell him off. This was all new to him. Was she getting tired of him? He thought.

Meanwhile on the other side, Y/n's tears were streaming down her face. She felt disgusted and guilty. Felix didn't deserve any of that. She knew it, he was just trying to help.

How could she let a miserable day at work affect her home life? Her relationship? Her thoughts became foggy as she sat there. All she could do was cry and so she cried until she finally fell asleep on the cold, hard tiles.

**

The frantic knocks on the door were what woke her up. Her head was banging and she was freezing. She looked over at her phone and saw it had been an hour and a few minutes. All she could hear was Felix's voice in distress calling out for her.

He sounded weak, worried and tired. What had she done? She quickly got off the floor and opened the door to see what was going on.

When the door opened Felix pulled her into his arms. He was so scared that she might have passed out or did something to herself since she had been locked in for an hour.

"Are you okay my love? Don't ever do that again to me! I was so scared something might have happened," he told her off but still managed to keep her in his arms.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you," she whispered, "I know you were just looking out for me and you were worried. I love you babe," she tightened her grip around his waist as she hid her tears.

"Hey, look at me," he slowly put his finger under her chin. "We all have bad days, I know you didn't mean any of it. Okay?" She nodded, "stop crying my love, you need to talk to me and don't shut me out. Please?"

"I don't know what I would do without you," she whimpered.

"Well first off, you wouldn't be able to reach the top shelves..." he trailed off and smiled at her little laugh. He loved her laugh. Her laugh made him feel warm and happy. All he wanted was for her to be happy.

"You're so silly-"

"Yeah but you love it," he pecked her lips and helped wipe her tears, "should we go cuddle and eat the brownies now?"

"Yes please, I was actually craving them when I was in there,"

"My poor baby, go lay down and I'll be back in a bit," he let go of her and made his way to the kitchen where he got busy.

Y/n sat in their cozy bed trying to figure out how she would explain to Felix what was going on and she knew he was not going to let it go unless she told him and so she did.

[jeonqkooks]

our beloved summer | jjk (07)

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, swearing, mentions of oc's mother because we know girlie is hella traumatized, mentions of drinking, mentions of an almost physical fight, abandonment issues, jk forgets to practice safe driving for 2 seconds, and uhmmm kissing 🤫, anddd that cliffhanger? 👀 rating: 18+ (minors dni) word count: 10.8k note (1): this is the longest it has taken me to update obs and i do feel pretty guilty about that. but it's finally here now and this is one of the chapters that i'm the most nervous about posting. massive thanks to @daechwitatamic and @/wintaerbaer (edited 2024: crossed out but not removed bc even tho she plagiarized obs afterward, she did beta this for me so i guess i still gotta give her that lmfao) for beta-ing this for me or else i would've screamed cried thrown up and scrapped the whole thing, and to @jeonwiixard for being a wonderful cheerleader as i was writing this, and to everyone in my beloved obs discord server for always being so sweet and kind and putting a smile on my smile every day since the server was created. also to my sunshine ☀︎ for introducing me to the song mentioned below bc HELLO is it not just one of the most obs coded songs ever. love you all my babies <3

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Somewhere in the multiverse There's a me and you that works We never fuck it up We're out there still in love Somewhere in the multiverse Maybe that's enough

multiverse - Maya Manuele ft. PEMRBOKE

Sometimes, whenever you look up at the moon at night, you wonder if Jungkook is doing the same thing.

Even when you fall out of love with someone, it still hurts. It hurts because you once loved them so much it felt like the sky would collapse if you couldn’t be with them. It hurts because the love wasn’t taken from you, but rather it started slipping away on its own, more and more each day until you realize you’re holding onto nothing when there once was everything.

You can’t say that you’re too familiar with that kind of hurt though. You’ve never fallen out of love before.

You don’t think Jungkook is too familiar with it either, at least not when he left you.

You wonder if he thinks about you from time to time and gets sad. You think he does, because you know that he loved you. Something ended for him too. The memories that you shared were his memories too.

You hope that it’s painful for him whenever thoughts of you cross his mind, because that would mean that he cares. That a part of him still cares.

And if he still cares, then he might come back.

Despite the front that you try to parade around, there is a part of you that will always leave your heart vacant for him, regardless of whether or not he would return. It’s a scary thought, one that you would rather avoid at all costs, one that says there will be no one that you love more than you loved Jungkook. Maybe there can’t be another person that you will love at all.

You can come back quietly, like the wind slipping through the crack I leave in the window at night; or you can announce your return resoundingly like a sudden downpour quenching the summer heat. I don’t care. I kept your side of the bed empty and warm, waiting for you to come back. Hoping that you would come home.

[08:47] Yoongi: sure you don’t want me to drive you there? [08:48] Yoongi: i can pick you up in 30 [08:52] You: positive 🤧 i told you i already booked the train. it’s only 4 hours away [08:53] You: i’ll survive, yoongs [08:55] Yoongi: did you not watch Train To Busan? [08:56] You: ? [08:57] Yoongi: what if there’s a zombie apocalypse [09:00] You: yoongi if there’s a zombie apocalypse, how is your CONVERTIBLE supposed to keep me safe [09:01] Yoongi: i’ll put the roof up [09:02] You: stop talking [09:02] You: please stop talking. [09:03] Yoongi: 😡😡😡 [09:03] You: 😇 [09:03] You: gotta get dressed now though. i’ll see u when i get back? :) [09:05] Yoongi: fine [09:06] Yoongi: safe travels. text me when you get there :)

You plop onto your bed with a sigh, glancing at the bag that’s already packed and sitting near your wardrobe, lonely. You stay like that for a while, contemplating whether or not you should bail at the very last minute.

It was not on your bingo card that you’d be here, agonizing over your ex-boyfriend’s brother’s wedding. Nope. Absolutely no one saw it coming.

For fuck’s sake, why would they invite you to a wedding? A celebration of love? It feels like you’re being forced onto a prank show, just waiting for someone to jump out and scream in your face.

You learned that the wedding was for close friends and family only, so it would be a relatively small event, which makes it even more confusing why you were also asked to join. Maybe the world is changing too rapidly and you’re just a little old-fashioned for it, but you really don’t understand why your ex-boyfriend’s family would want you there.

Taehyung and Jimin were invited too; they’re Jungkook’s best friends after all. They’re practically an extension of the family, Jungkook’s brothers by choice. But Taehyung doesn’t come back from his work trip until the day of the wedding, and Jimin… Well, he just doesn’t want to go to a Busan wedding in the middle of winter.

So why are you even going?

You could’ve declined. Said you couldn’t attend because the invitation came in so late. Made up a work trip or a family emergency. There’s a plethora of excuses you could’ve used.

Or you could’ve simply said no. That would’ve been perfectly fine too. No one would even need to ask why.

But maybe it was because his mother had customized the invite with her own handwriting in the back. You would’ve missed it if you hadn’t spent hours meticulously studying the card like someone was going to quiz you. It wasn’t anything special - just We hope to see you there - but you think you’d feel really bad to decline after she’d made the extra effort to ask you to come.

When you told Yoongi that you would be attending Jungkook’s brother’s wedding, he didn’t seem upset. Still cool as a cucumber. Although if he was bothered by the announcement, you don’t think he would’ve let it show. It did take him a minute to take it in, but then he just pecked your cheek and asked if you could bring a plus-one. You both knew that you wouldn’t even if that was an option.

Pushing your body off the bed, you drag yourself to the bathroom to splash some water on your face. Then sunscreen. Then change into the clothes you’d already picked out last night. Your train doesn’t leave for another hour and fifteen minutes, but you want to be there at least twenty minutes early just in case. This is one of your only good habits.

You rub your eyes when you finally haul yourself outside, thinking you must still be dreaming because what is Jungkook’s car doing here?

You blink a few times, expecting the vehicle to disappear in a puff of white smoke.

Spoiler alert: It doesn’t.

The car is in front of you, but the man is nowhere to be found.

You stand there dumbfoundedly, contemplating whether you should wait it out for a little bit to see if he’s actually here. He comes running up to you a couple minutes later, holding two paper cups in his hands, one of them a chai latte. A memory you’d buried long ago comes rushing to the surface. It’s too early for you to be feeling.

“Hi,” he says, his warm breath coming out in a huff of smoke in the crisp morning air.

“Hi?” you mutter dumbly when he trades the bag in your hand for the drink. There’s a moment where you’re genuinely baffled, wondering if this is a memory reel playing right before your eyes. This is your Jungkook, wearing that same old smile whenever he used to come bounding up your dorm building so you could walk to the library together, where he would hang out with you during your shift if he didn’t have classes. “What are you doing here?”

You don’t remember telling him what time your train was, so he’d probably badgered it out of Taehyung or Jimin somehow.

“I thought I could drive us there,” he says. “I texted you about it.”

Well, that explains it. You don’t bother with his dozens of messages anymore. “Oh, uhm, I already booked the train.”

This doesn’t seem to faze him at all. “Free cancellation up to 15 minutes before departure.” Jungkook grins, clearly eager despite your obvious reluctance. It’s too early for this, whatever the hell this is.

When you told him that you had RSVP’d yes to the invitation, he was surprised that you even knew about the wedding. He even seemed nervous that day.

“What if I’d already left?” you ask.

He blinks, then stammers like a confused child. It’s cute, and you have to mentally slap yourself over the head for even thinking that.

“Then I’d go after you.”

How? you scoff internally. Unrealistic.

Regardless, not even an hour ago, you were declining Yoongi’s offer to drive you there. Now, you’re standing here, in front of your ex-boyfriend, contemplating whether or not you should go with him.

“Let’s go,” he says after a minute. “We don’t wanna be stuck in traffic.”

“I haven’t said yes.” Yet. “It’s a 4-hour drive.”

You don’t have to clarify what you mean. He understands it.

You both just stare at each other for a moment, the tension suddenly thickening with every passing second. Four hours on the road. Four hours alone in a car with Jungkook. That’s about two hundred minutes more than you think you can handle.

It’s like he can see right through you. “Don’t think about it,” he says, voice dropping lower. “It’s just a weekend. Everything will still be here for you to think about when we get back.”

In your head, it translates to: All of our shit will still be here when we get back. You can keep being mad at me then.

You hope that’s not true. You hope that when you get back, the things that keep you up at night will simply cease to exist. That in the two days you’ll be gone, a genie will materialize and solve all your problems for you.

Either way, it’s probably for the best that you aren’t mean to him this weekend. You’re stuck with him for the next 48 hours or so; it’ll only stress you out even more if you channel all of your energy into tormenting him. Besides, you’re already the ex girlfriend who has no place alongside his family. You don’t want to be the dark cloud raining on everyone’s parade too.

Maybe you’d already made up your mind when you let him take the bag from you.

For the first half of the drive, you were unconscious.

It’s a useless superpower that you have, the ability to fall asleep anywhere - literally anywhere, including in the passenger seat of your ex-boyfriend’s car while he escorts you to his hometown. Melatonin gummies manufacturers hate you.

You could’ve slept the whole drive, but around the second hour mark, you were startled awake when your body jostled forward, straining against your seatbelt uncomfortably. There was an arm trying to hold you back, despite the seatbelt having done its job well.

“Fuck,” Jungkook curses before he turns toward you, worry written all over his face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, are you okay?”

You blink, still half asleep. “I’m okay,” you say. The minivan that Jungkook almost rear-ended continues on its merry way, carrying what seems to be a family of five. “What happened?”

He sighs, his outstretched arm retreating back to his side. “I got a bit distracted, that’s all.”

You take in your surroundings then. There’s barely any other cars in sight, no tacky billboard that sticks out like a sore thumb to catch your attention. There’s just the freeway, stretching on empty for all you can see.

“By what?” you ask.

“Nothing,” he says. “Go back to sleep. I’ll wake you when we get there.”

See, you have the superpower of falling asleep anywhere and everywhere, but once you’ve been woken up, it’s not as easy to fall back asleep.

That, and the fact that you’re hungry as shit.

You open your mouth, about to say no, about to offer to drive the rest of the way if Jungkook is tired, but your stomach doesn’t let you get a word out. It growls, filling the space of the car, making you want to chuck yourself out the fucking window and run all the way back to the city. This wouldn’t have happened had you taken the train, because if you had, there would’ve been food services and no one would be subject to hearing your stomach sing like it’s chewing out a small puppy in there. Life is nothing but an endless pit of embarrassment and despair.

Your arms hold themselves tighter around your frame, practically squeezing into your abdomen as you will it to please, please, please be quiet. Jungkook stares at you, and you can tell by the teeny tiny quirk of his lips that he’s trying to bite back a smile. He’s relaxed, but there’s still something hesitant on his face. It takes him a minute before he finally throws the question out.

“Do you want to go to that guksu place that we used-” that we used to go to, “you know the place. The one that’s right off the freeway?”

The sun is out today. The sky unfolds endlessly just outside the window, coloring blue everything your eyes land on. There are strips of clouds scattered here and there, like delicate strokes of white paint on an azure canvas. Even the winter cold has to soften.You bite into your cheek. Don’t think, that’s what he had told you.

Not much about this quaint restaurant has changed. The quirky decorations are still where they used to be, the windows still the same unique stained glass that you never came across anywhere else. You remember the elderly woman who runs the place, even if she doesn’t have a single clue who you are. The golden retriever you used to fawn over every time you stopped by, sits quietly by the door and watches the cars pass by, his fur now graying as weariness begins to settle into those old bones.

You would’ve been displeased if the place had changed, because, well, you don’t like change. But then again, this familiarity is dangerous. It tricks you into thinking that everything is still the same, even you and him. Deludes you into believing that you’re still in love and that he’ll walk out of here holding your hand.

Regardless, the first spoonful has you biting back a smile.

“How is it?” Jungkook asks.

It makes you feel all warm inside, and then a little sad, nostalgic.

“Tastes just the same,” you tell him simply.

“Hmm.”

He lets you satisfy your hunger in peace. It’s the least he can do anyway.

There’s a wall near the back of the restaurant, where people could hang polaroids of themselves and cute handwritten notes. You think if you dig through the hundreds of photos scattered across the space, you might be able to find you and Jungkook there, if you two haven’t already been thrown out long ago to make room for new memories.

He pays for your food after you’re both finished, despite some protesting on your side. As you leave, you’re busy thinking that if you could have a moment to marvel at that far-back wall of memories, if you could find a photo of you and him there, you would probably sneak it into your coat pocket.

It’d be another thing to add to your pile of Jungkook memorabilia - the old clothes in the back of your closet, the stack of dusty polaroids at the bottom of your drawer. You wonder if he keeps anything of yours, maybe an old t-shirt that you forgot to take back. It’s probably unlikely, but a girl can hope.

You miss the way Jungkook glances back, thinking the exact same thing.

You survive the rest of the drive with more ease, probably because of the food. You spend most of the remaining 2 hours leaning against the window, humming to the radio, closing your eyes but not really sleeping. You even forget to be nervous about what is to come.

That is, until the car pulls up to the venue.

It’s absolutely gorgeous, and a lot bigger than you imagined - a modern beach house overlooking the waters. It’s not as extravagant as one would expect to see when they come to a wedding, but considering the small crowd in attendance, this is more than enough. You see people rush in and out of the place even from far away - planners, caterers, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, probably.

You feel a bit comforted just watching this. His family seems to be doing a lot better than before. It’s nice to know.

You barely make it out of the car before someone calls your name, and pulls you into a hug that knocks the wind out of you. Although, when you catch the scent of her hair, you instantly know who it is.

Parents usually have a scent that’s distinct to only their kids, a scent so cozy and homely that no perfume can ever mask. You can only describe your mom’s scent with a feeling, specifically the feeling of your chest tightening, tingling with a bittersweetness that you never found elsewhere. 

Strangely enough, Jungkook’s mother has always made you feel the opposite. She makes you feel relieved to be in her embrace, like she accepts you for who you are even if all you are to her, at the end of the day, is a stranger.

You hug her back awkwardly, hesitantly, in front of Jungkook’s dad, his brother Junghyun, and a girl you don’t know. You assume that she’s the bride-to-be, the main character whom this weekend revolves around. Sooji, you remember that was the name on the wedding invitation.

You get choked up suddenly, eyes turning glassy though you quickly blink it away. You’re not sure if you’ve had someone be so happy to see you. Bypassers might even think that you just found the cure for cancer.

For a second there, you wonder if your mere presence has ever made your mother this overjoyed.

You look at Jungkook for help, silently asking him to rescue you. Who else are you supposed to turn to if not him?

He understands that look. “Okay, mom,” he says, entangling her arms from you with ease, “Y/N’s tired from the drive. Let’s let her rest, yeah? I’ll show her the room.”

She ignores her son. “Honey,” she says, brushing your hair away from your face so she could see you better. “Thank you for coming.” She used to insist that you call her “mom”, or at least by her first name because “Mrs. Jeon” was too formal for someone she considered family.

You now have to opt for the latter, because “mom” isn’t an option for you anymore.

“Thank you for inviting me, Mrs. Jeon,” you tell her with a smile. You’re not really sure what else to say, but it makes you a little sad just calling her that.

She opens her mouth before closing it again, seemingly about to jokingly scold you for the formality before she recognizes the bittersweet look in your eyes. She just smiles at you then. There’s not much to be done about it.

You don’t know if anyone else sees how the moment is weighed down. Probably not. Maybe it’s just you and her who share this sentiment.

Jungkook doesn’t wait for his mom anymore. Sons, typical. He wedges himself between the two of you like a bulldozer and leads you inside the house. 

Even though all you have is an overnight bag, Jungkook carries it for you all the way up to your room, which is only down the hall from his. Then he disappears pretty quickly afterward, saying something about his best man duties and putting out fires. He seems apologetic as he tells you this, but it’s not like you’re expecting him to babysit you all weekend.

You bore yourself to death in your room for a while, before you remember you have to text Yoongi to let him know you got here safely. Though, you stop short of telling him that it was Jungkook who drove you here. It’s trivial enough, right? You don’t want Yoongi to feel bad over nothing. You do, however, inform Taehyung and Jimin when you text them about it, to which Jimin only responds with a preemptively disapproving ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’

When you get too stir-crazy, you wander outside, hoping to explore the beach before it gets dark and colder. You try to stay out of everyone’s way, because a good guest is a quiet guest. You seem to be doing a good job. No one notices you, not even Jungkook’s mom but that’s because she’s the person you actively want to avoid the most. You don’t know what you’d even say to her if she gets you alone.

Everything is hectic, as one can probably imagine when it comes to wedding preparations. You haven’t had anyone close to you get married yet, so it’s safe to say that you’re pretty much clueless about all of this. You wonder what it’ll be like when your big day comes around, if you even ever get married. You haven’t thought about it in a long time. Why would you? You don’t really have a reason to think about this. It’s much easier to picture Taehyung’s or Jimin’s wedding day than your own.

Your opinion on having kids still remains the same, and you were never one of those girls who daydreamed about having a big and extravagant wedding, but it’s not such a bad idea to ponder about. You still think marriage is a scary thing - it’s one of the biggest commitments a person could ever make - but you’re not entirely opposed to getting married. 

Why are you even mulling over this? Your time might never even come.

When you round the corner to get the steps that would lead you down to the beach, you run into Sooji and a woman holding a thick binder - must be a wedding planner. You give Jungkook’s future sister-in-law an awkward smile in greeting, which she returns much more gracefully before she tells the woman that she’ll be with her in a minute.

So now you’re stuck here, about to make small talk with a person you have never met before, and will likely never see again. Great. 

“Hi,” you say, extending a hand. “I haven’t had the chance to introduce myself. I’m Y/N.”

“I’m Sooji,” she replies warmly as she shakes your hand, and you have to stop yourself from being a little weirdo and thinking about how silky her hair looks up close. “You’re Jungkook’s… friend, right?”

You purse your lips before nodding with a chuckle. The pause tells you that she knows, and you wouldn’t be surprised if she’s uncomfortable having you here. 

“I’m sorry if this is weird. You probably don’t want a complete stranger at your wedding.”

Sooji shakes her head instantly, waving her hands around to dismiss your apology. “Please, it’s totally fine. Junghyun’s mom talked to me about it before we sent out the invites. I wouldn’t have agreed if I was really bothered. Don’t worry about it, seriously.”

“Why did you agree?” you ask, trying to sound as polite as possible. “You don’t know who I am.”

“I guess I was curious.” She shrugs, before laughing lightly as she says, “I used to think you weren’t real.”

“Huh?”

“She talks about you constantly. Never in front of Jungkook, of course. But she’s really fond of you, and you probably already know that doesn’t happen very often. She really does see you like a daughter. She made you sound too good to be true.”

You’re not sure how to respond to that. His mom still thinks about you, still talks about you after all this time. You’re just his ex-girlfriend, but she considers you her family. You don’t know what to do with this information nor the way it pinches your heart.

“I-” You purse your lips, fumbling with the responses in your head. You settle on a light laugh, because Sooji can probably tell that you’re struggling with the words too. “I have to be honest. I don’t know what to say to that.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I just thought you should know that you’re still very much loved here.” She gives you a kind smile, and it looks like she wants to tell you something else but decides against it in the end. Sooji’s eyes land somewhere behind you before she points in that general direction. “I have to go take care of an issue with the flowers, but look, Jungkook is here. Why don’t you ask him to show you around?”

And then she’s already off. Overall, what a… strange interaction.

You turn around to see Jungkook standing near one of the entrances to the house. As you watch him talk to someone - a bridesmaid, you assume, or just one of the other guests - you try not to think about the fact that there’s a stirring sensation in your stomach, and that it only intensifies when she throws her head back in a pretty laugh, a perfectly manicured hand landing on his arm like he’s the most charming person she’s ever met. 

You don’t give it a name, don’t label it green in color even though you’re blue and he’s golden sunshine. You don’t acknowledge that it’s a feeling, because doing so would make it real and there are certain truths that you’d rather delude yourself into thinking are lies.

When Jungkook’s eyes catch yours and he cuts off the woman mid-sentence with a curt excuse me, you don’t acknowledge that feeling either, but it’s warm and it blooms in your chest as he makes his way to you. It’s something victorious, something that tickles your ribs.

He comes to you like you’re a destination he’s been waiting all his life to reach, and you certainly, adamantly don’t acknowledge the spectacularly dizzying feeling that swallows you whole when he places a gentle hand on your arm, his voice soft as he says, “There you are. I was looking for you.”

The familiarity, it’s catastrophic.

“I was just walking around,” you tell him. “There’s not a lot to do here. I was bored.”

“You have me,” he says. Probably not in that way, but you’d like to think that’s how he means it. “I don’t have any more fires to put out. What do you want to do now?”

You glance over your surroundings, still set on your original plans. You wanted to go alone, but you suppose you can let him accompany you. You check the time on your phone before asking, “Can we go down to the beach? I wanna see if we can catch the sunset.”

You used to do this whenever you came here to visit - walk along the beach, hand in hand, sunlight in your hair and the cool breeze holding you tight in the afterglow.

The keyword here is “used to”. Now, you have to stuff your hands in your pockets just so you don’t reach for him every time you shiver.

It’s late enough in the afternoon for you to see the moon faintly shine against a blue and orange backdrop. Sun and moon, together in the same frame. It feels symbolic somehow. You’re not really sure.

“The moon looks like an egg,” Jungkook observes astutely, taking casual strides next to you. It makes you burst into easy laughter, which makes him laugh with you too. You stop walking when you reach what you think is a good spot to watch the sky. 

“Let’s sit here for a bit,” you say. It’s not the greatest idea - sitting idly by would only make you colder - but you just want to stop and look at the sunset. Once you’re seated in the sand, you respond to his moon remark, “That’s true, y’know. NASA said so.”

“Yeah,” he says, settling down beside you, “you made me read that.”

You’d forgotten about it, and you didn’t think that he’d remember. It’s freezing cold and the moon looks like an egg, but you’re not thinking, and you feel safe. Nothing can hurt you here, or at least that’s what you’d like to tell yourself.

You wrap your arms around yourself to keep from shivering, but you still shiver anyways.

“Are you cold?” he asks.

“A little,” you admit. “I should’ve worn a thicker sweater. But it’s o-”

He doesn’t let you finish the sentence, just smoothly takes off his jacket to put it around your shoulders.

You put your hands atop his to stop him. When you touch him, there’s an electric tingle that almost makes you flinch. He feels warm, still resembling a human furnace. 

“No, you don’t have t-”

“Take the jacket, Y/N,” he says. “It’s just a jacket.”

The jacket smells like him. It only makes you want to crawl further into the warmth.

He seems more self-assured here, that’s what you notice. More like the version of himself that he used to be. Confident, sometimes borderline cocky. Annoying but oddly endearing, you came to love that about him.

His relaxed demeanor is understandable. You’re merely a visitor here, while this is his homeground. 

“I’m curious about something,” he says after a while.

“Okay.”

“What’s the deal with Wednesdays?” he asks. 

“You know how they say bad things come in threes?” You purse your lips, thinking it over, feeling something bitter in your mouth as you recall the events that led to this. “My parents got divorced on a Wednesday. I moved out of mom’s house on a Wednesday. And…” You hold your knees close to your chest as you hesitate to utter this last part, “we broke up on a Wednesday.”

You see the exact moment Jungkook mentally slaps himself, paling a couple shades as he tongues his cheek, not expecting his question to inadvertently lead back to this. It wasn’t your intention to guilt trip him. It was true that he dumped you on a Wednesday, but you don’t want the mood to turn sour, to have to mull over this again. Like he said, it will still be there for you to worry about when you get back. You’re not looking forward to returning to a shitshow, but what you’d hate even more is to tarnish the memories of this place just because you can’t keep from being vindictive for not even a weekend.

“I was born on a Wednesday too, so I guess bad things come in fours sometimes,” you continue, chuckling to yourself humorlessly.

A frown appears on his face almost instantaneously. “What is that supposed to mean?”

You shrug. Jungkook turns his body toward you, which makes you spare him a glance before you return your gaze to the horizon. His face is so serious that it’s almost funny. “Y/N,” he presses. “Why would you say that?”

“C’mon, it’s a joke. I was just being self-deprecating. Lighten up.”

“Why are you talking like that?”

“Like what? Contrary to popular belief, I don’t walk around with a thundercloud over my head all the time,” you laugh lightly. “I figured if there was a day to be nice to you, it should be today. And tomorrow, I guess.”

“This is you being nice?”

Funny how just a few weeks ago, you were fighting with him and calling him a hypocrite. Now, you’re sitting together, watching the sun set, trying not to be mean to him.

“I’m not picking a fight with you,” you say. “This is nice enough.”

“It’s not even my wedding.”

“Okay.” You glance at him again, letting words flow without a single thought. “I’ll be even nicer to you on your wedding day then.”

You don’t know where that even came from, but something aches the very second the words leave your mouth. The thought of him getting married one day makes you just nauseous, even though you always knew that it was a possibility. It might even be inevitable.

You clear your throat, waving the sullen feeling away. Your body shivers then, even after the added warmth of his jacket. Maybe you’re not shivering because of the cold anymore.

He doesn’t say anything, but you can feel his eyes linger on the side of your face. The both of you keep tiptoeing around an elephant that follows you wherever you go. 

You hug your knees close to your chest, watching the blue sky melt into the golden horizon, splattered with ribbons of cotton candy clouds.

You want to scooch closer to him and have him wrap his arm around your shoulders. This isn’t the spot where you used to draw your names in the sand, enveloped in a giant heart like two lovesick kids, but wouldn’t it be nice to imagine that it is?

“I was always really happy here,” you mumble to yourself.

You were, truly. This city was your pocket of hope, your piece of peace.

Being here brings back so many memories.

It’s the same feeling you get every time you pass by somewhere you used to live. The nostalgia of walking down the same road you used to walk every day until your shoes wore out. The familiarity of your surroundings. The bittersweetness of looking into a past you cannot hold anymore, of remembering the person you were at a certain period in your life, of knowing the things you do now that you didn’t back then.

You long for things you cannot change.

Nostalgia only grows stronger with time, you can always count on that.

He hums in agreement, before admitting quietly, “I miss you.” One pulls, the other pushes. The water wavers, like it’s touched by his words, simple but earnest. You’re touched too, somewhere in your heart, where you know you should be writing someone else’s name now.

Should?

“You’re pushing it,” you say softly.

“I know.”

You look at him. Maybe it’s because you’re back in the city that holds only good memories of you two. Maybe you’re hypnotized by the way the pink and purple hues kiss his side profile, making him feel like a fever dream and not someone you loved. Maybe it’s the cold, making you yearn for any source of warmth. But instead of returning his sentiment, you say, “It’ll pass.”

He meets your eyes. There’s something pleading in his gaze. All things pass eventually. Time moves forward, people move on. Bad things will pass sooner or later. Your worst heartbreak, your most arduous trials, your saddest moments, they will all pass.

And good things… good things will have to pass too, whether you like it or not.

Your fingers twitch from where they’re still holding onto your body. You itch to reach for his hand. You don’t tell him what he wants to hear, even though here’s a part of you that wants to say it back. In a better world, you would be telling him I love you too, instead of having to suppress an I miss you too.

“All things have to pass eventually. This will too.”

[20:05] Taebear 🐻: we could go to that bar near the gallery. Y/N likes the cocktails there [20:06] Mimi 🐥: kay kay [20:06] Mimi 🐥: soooooo next friday? [20:09] Mimi 🐥: why is y/n reading our messages. shouldn’t she be at dinner [20:09] You: i approve of the bar choice [20:11] You: if you didn’t want me reading your messages, you shouldn’t have sent them to the gc [20:11] You: and if you must know, i’m skipping dinner. i’m avoiding Jungkook’s mom [20:12] Mimi 🐥: understandable. i figured you would do that [20:13] Mimi 🐥: how’s it going? are we regretting going yet? i told you to just stay home and we could binge watch the office together [20:15] You: and EYE told you that you could be a good friend and go to this wedding with me but nooooo baby doesn’t like the cold [20:16] You: you could’ve visited your parents while you’re here you know. two birds with one stone [20:18] Mimi 🐥: babes my parents stayed with me for a whole month last month. i reached my quota for family face time  [20:19] You: son and friend of the year 👏 [20:20] Mimi 🐥: 😎😎😎😘

[20:22] Taebear 🐻: hey [20:23] You: uh oh. am i in trouble? why is this not in the gc? [20:25] Taebear 🐻: lol shut up [20:26] Taebear 🐻: you okay? [20:28] You: feels like that could’ve been a perfectly good question to ask in the gc [20:29] Taebear 🐻: because it’s a serious question and we both know Jimin can’t be serious for one minute to save his life [20:32] You: why does it have to be a serious question? 🤪 [20:32] Taebear 🐻: 😕 [20:33] You: stop pouting. i’m fine [20:35] Taebear 🐻: are you? [20:36] You: i am! you don’t have to go all mama bear on me [20:39] Taebear 🐻: ha ha ha. you’re so funny [20:40] Taebear 🐻: want me to call you? [20:42] You: i said i’m fiiiiiine 🙄 [20:43] You: but also no because i told everyone i was tired and i’m pretending to be asleep in my room right now [20:43] Taebear 🐻: okay [20:43] Taebear 🐻: did you eat something at least? [20:44] You: i have a cup ramen in my room [20:45] Taebear 🐻: okay [20:46] Taebear 🐻: how was today? did JK make you wanna strangle him? [20:48] You: okay Kim Taehyung at least act like you have some faith in your friend lol [20:50] You: but mmmmmm it was ok. he was mostly behaving himself [20:51] Taebear 🐻: mostly? [20:54] You: we were down at the beach and he just told me he missed me out of the blue [20:55] You: Mimi is asking why no one is replying to him  [20:57] Taebear 🐻: i can see that [20:58] Taebear 🐻: what did you tell JK? [21:01] You: i quoted fleabag to him [21:09] Taebear 🐻: i had to google that [21:10] Taebear 🐻: i still don’t know what that means [21:11] You: i know you don’t lol. you’re adorable [21:11] You: i’ll tell you when i get back.  [21:13] You: ok bye i have to sleep early or i’ll look like ass in the morning [21:14] Taebear 🐻: oh. okay [21:15] Taebear 🐻: sleep tight. remember not to gorge yourself on booze tomorrow [21:17] You: thanks for the reminder. love you mom 🙄💕 [21:17] Taebear 🐻: :) [21:20] Taebear 🐻: you won’t look like ass btw

You clocked out right after you told Taehyung that you would. It wasn’t a peaceful sleep though. The anxiety simmering in your belly woke you up a few times throughout the night. You don’t even know why you were anxious. It’s not like you were the one who was about to walk down the aisle.

When morning finally came and you managed to untangle yourself from the surprising comfort of your familiar bed, you practically dragged your feet for the subsequent two hours, trying to get ready. As if that would actually slow down the passage of time.

You had to compartmentalize the things you needed to do in a mental checklist. Makeup. Hair. Dress. Stare at yourself in the mirror for half an hour and internally freak out while waiting for Jungkook to come get you from your room.

Now you’re sitting in the wedding hall, watching people filter into the room. It’s not even a lot of people, but you’re still overwhelmed regardless.

You feel so exposed, even though he’s the only one looking at you in this room of strangers. He’s been looking at you like that ever since he first saw you this morning, in a dress that you got just days before the wedding. You still don’t know if it’s entirely appropriate for your ex-boyfriend’s brother’s wedding - maybe a bit revealing - but it was the only one you could find on such short notice.

When you tried on the dress for Taehyung and Jimin a few days ago, Taehyung said you looked beautiful. Jimin said you looked decent, “six point five out of ten,” which translated to “pretty nice” in Jimin-lingo. That would’ve been enough if you were going to any other wedding, not one where Jungkook would also be attending.

You had wanted him to see you and regret ever leaving you.

It was a silly thought, just a tad adolescent.

You had wanted him to see you in your dress and be consumed with thoughts of you until he couldn’t even see straight. To be the only thing on his mind, you didn’t think it was a lot to ask for.

That was before he told you not to think about it and you’d been convinced to just go with the flow just for two days. It was before he actually did see you earlier today in your dress - a simple midnight blue satin cowl neck with a slit in the thigh - but you were the one rendered helpless and speechless. He had stared at you for a minute when he came to walk you down from your room, then he’d said, all breathless even though both of you were just standing there, “You’re beautiful.”

You’re beautiful, not You look beautiful.

You don’t know why, but you appreciated it.

It made your cheeks burn underneath your artificial rosy blush. Stupid, you thought to yourself when you two made your way to the main hall. Stupid for letting yourself get dizzy because of a single compliment from him.

You’re seated with his parents, which makes sense because you don’t know anybody here except for them. Well, maybe you know one of his cousins whose kid you and Jungkook used to babysit whenever their family was in the city, but you doubt that he even remembers you anymore.

When the ceremony begins, your heart instantly feels like it’s about to drop to the pit of your stomach.

You can’t lie to yourself. It stings.

It stings just sitting here next to his parents like a daughter-in-law, like a member of their family, watching his brother solidify his happy ending.

It stings that Jungkook is standing up there, looking as handsome as ever, but his eyes aren’t on the couple. They keep flickering to you no matter how much you try to pretend that they don’t.

It stings that even though you don’t think about marriage often - or maybe you just don’t allow yourself to - you can’t deny that the thought does cross your mind from time to time. Any time that you’d wander the corridors inside your head, you’d pass the doors that you keep unopened on purpose but there’s always that one door marked with a bright red X that you can never sidestep.

You watch Junghyun and Sooji with their teary smiles and shaky hands, shaky but happy. There’s a sudden clarity that this could’ve been you and him in another life. Forever is a lie, but you would’ve perjured yourself a thousand times for him. I do - you would’ve meant it.

You imagine yourself in Sooji’s place, and Jungkook, standing right on the other side, holding both your hands in his. A beautiful and radiant bride terrified of the altar. A dashing groom with a smile that could rival the sun and shoulders weighing heavier than he lets on.

It would’ve looked clumsy, but it could’ve been right.

You wonder if he’s wondering the same thing. Maybe he is. You hope he is.

When the ceremony ends with a kiss shared between the newlyweds, you wipe away the tears that well up in your eyes. The people around you do the same thing, but they’re doing it for the right reason, out of genuine joy for the happy couple. You don’t think you can say the same for yourself.

Some of the bridesmaids fawn over him. It’s reasonable, you suppose. One tends to do that in the presence of Jeon Jungkook.

You watch as they come up to him one by one to ask him to dance, watch as he politely declines until they’re all stalking away with similar pouts on their faces. You watch him until his eyes lock on you, sitting at a table near the back, nursing a glass of champagne.

He weaves himself with ease through the people making their way to the dance floor. When he’s in front of you, he holds out a hand.

“Dance with me?” he asks, his doe eyes working overtime to lure you in with their sparkles, though you’d rather stay here where you can easily go unnoticed until the night ends. “One song?”

“I don’t know how,” you say, even as you’re taking his hand and standing up.

“I showed you how, remember?”

“That was a long time ago.”

He squeezes you reassuringly. “Just follow my lead,” he says, walking the both of you to the floor. “C’mon.”

Once the music starts, your heels stomp on his feet at least three times before you start finding the beat to move along to. Muscle memory, or whatever, is bullshit. You remember absolutely nothing of what he showed you.

You’re grateful that the song is slow, because it makes it easier for you to follow the beat with your two left feet. He takes one of your hands in his, the other settling on the small of your back, guiding you to move in a steady rhythm.

You feel his mother’s eyes on the two of you, because she must be somewhere nearby, watching you like a hawk. You feel his gaze on your face while you keep yours on the knot of his tie, just trying to keep your composure and to not step on his feet with your heels.

The blur of white that you catch from the periphery of your vision makes you turn your head. Sooji and Junghyun are close by, swaying together slowly to the soft music, both of them glowing with happiness. She must sense your eyes on her, because she lifts her gaze up to meet yours. She smiles at the sight of you and Jungkook, and you smile back, because you don’t know how else to respond to that.

You don’t say it, but you do think it. Your fingers tighten around his hand ever so slightly.

Could that have been us?

If the answer is yes, then it would hurt.

If the answer is no, then it would hurt.

The point of your story is that it’s painful however you choose to look at it. There’s no other way to frame it. It’s just painful, because you’re never going to get any of it back.

You bite your lip, then turn away from the happy couple but you still don’t look at Jungkook. You look at your hand in his, and that’s when you see it.

“How’d you get that?” you ask, gently tracing the inch of slightly raised skin on his knuckles. You never noticed the scar until now.

“It was four years ago, I think? After Taehyung and I almost got into a fight, I went outside and… punched a wall,” he says, wincing as he recalls the memory.

His answer takes you aback. “You and Taehyung got into a fight?”

“Almost,” he corrects. “It was a long time ago. Didn’t they tell you?”

“No, they didn’t say anything. What happened?”

“Nothing happened.”

“If it was really nothing, you wouldn’t have punched a wall.” You frown. It makes you miss a few beats, but the song isn’t what’s important now, even if Jungkook is still trying to steer you back into the dance. “Taehyung isn’t violent. You aren’t violent.”

“I’m serious,” he says finally. “It’s nothing. We were just drunk and stupid.”

You know there must be more to it, that something must have happened or been said to trigger such a reaction from both of them. But you also know that you won’t probably get anything out of Jungkook if he doesn’t want to tell you.

You give up, for now. “Fine. If you say so.”  You’ll just have to weasel it out of Jimin later.

The song comes to an end, before another one comes on. If Jungkook remembers that he only asked for one song, maybe he’s counting his blessings that you’re still here and dancing with him, because he doesn’t mention it.

For some reason, you pull your hand away from his, only to slide up his shoulder to lock both of your hands behind his neck. He seems surprised, but he does the same around your waist.

Jungkook’s gaze flickers to your lips briefly, then back to your eyes again. You find yourself doing the same and wonder what he tastes like after all the time you’ve been apart. Is he still as sweet as you remember? You used to tease that it was because of the excessive sugar he put in everything, but you knew it was really just him. The few inches between you are so inviting that it’s practically tempting you to close the gap. You could, easily in fact. Blame it on one too many glasses of champagne later if you want.

He looks younger like this, like the boy you loved, starry eyes and dimpled smile. His shoulders are always the most comfortable resting place, the crook of his neck your long lost home. This is nice, you think, to see him again even though it feels like a fever dream. Memories of your first date, your first kiss, come to life before your eyes so realistically that you could almost touch them.

Loved? That sounds funny to you.

The people you used to be, souls wrapped in innocence, when the world was nothing but the arms of the person you loved. You reach out, and the memories quickly fade from view. The only trace they leave behind is a speck of gold on your fingertips, a memento of charming naiveté for you to tuck neatly away in the corner of your mind, but also a reminder that ah, they only exist in the locket of your heart now. Because he has changed, and you think you must have too. Life, as they say, goes on.

“We made it. Kind of. That’s crazy,” you find yourself saying.

“Did we?”

“You don’t think so?” you chuckle. “We’re in a group chat with the Kim Seokjin who spams it with bad jokes on a daily basis. I’d call that a win.”

That makes him laugh. “If you put it like that, yeah, maybe. Sure.”

Other people might be fooled, but it doesn’t sound at all convincing to you. The light doesn’t really reach his eyes. You bite the inside of your cheek, thinking of how to translate the sudden poignant turn of the moment.

“It isn’t everything you hoped it’d be?” you ask.

His shoulders rise then fall quickly in a second-long shrug. “I thought it would make me feel more… fulfilled. But it doesn’t. Not really.”

The way he says it and the way he’s looking at you makes your heart dive. You understand what he means. You’re good at what you do, and you don’t need reassurance from anyone to recognize that. But sometimes, it doesn’t feel like it’s enough. Doesn’t feel like it’s real, like it’s validated.

When you landed your first big project, even before Yoongi, you were so proud of yourself. You were bursting with excitement but you weren’t happy, and you knew what the reason was. Something was missing that couldn’t be filled, not even with all your friends’ hundreds of messages of encouragement. 

It’s beyond stupid, this feeling like your wins amount to nothing at all just because of one person. You wanted him there to celebrate every achievement with you and he wasn’t, and the milestones seemed incomplete without the presence of him. It doesn’t feel like you’ve accomplished anything because this always used to be a dream you thought you’d make come true together.

“It’s lonely,” he concludes.

It sounds like he feels the same way, like he wanted you to be there too.

He suddenly holds you tighter than you think he needs to, like he’s afraid to let go of you. You imagine that he doesn’t want to let go of you, and it makes you feel better for a second. But it doesn’t change the fact that he still did in the end. And he will have to when this ends.

What was the point of this? Why did he bring this upon yourselves when he seems to be as hurt as you are? All of this time, all of these years, lost to what? You could’ve been happy together but instead, you were both lost and miserable.

When the music stops - you lost count of how many songs it’s been - you pull away from him. He looks disappointed, maybe even a little hurt for some reason.

“I’m gonna get some air,” you say, already turning away from him.

“Y/N-”

“I need some air.” Then you’re weaving through the dancing couples despite Jungkook calling your name. How did he manage it? How did he not look back when you called out for him?

You hastily grab your coat on the way out. It’s not going to keep you warm, but that’s not something you’re even remotely concerned with.

It’s everywhere, you feel it down to your bones.

The wind wraps itself tightly around you, intertwining in your hair, slipping through the cracks of your fingers, caressing your face in a chilling touch. You greet the cold like a long lost sister, shivering violently with nostalgia. It was there for you more than your own flesh and blood.

Is that why you like the sea at night? Because it reminds you of mom?

It’s dark out here, barely anything is visible except for a lighthouse sending out light in the quiet of the night. You can’t see much, but you can certainly hear it. You’re not sure if the music is coming from inside the venue, or if it’s still ringing in your ears. It’s probably the latter; you’re too far away to be able to catch the music anyway. But regardless, the tune is quickly drowned out by the sea.

The waves crash violently against the shore like it’s out for blood. There’s a magnetic pull, as if it’s calling out for you. You want to go to it, to reach out and feel the cold outside of your body for once, but you stay there despite your legs itching to stand up and run straight ahead. Into the water and down under.

You could lie down and close your eyes for a moment. The sound of the water, as sharp and brutal as it is, nurtures a part of you somehow.

You just want to be alone. You don’t want to talk to Taehyung, or Jimin, or even Yoongi.

Oh.

Yoongi.

It’s a terrible feeling, knowing that you’re going to hurt Yoongi. Knowing that you’re going to kill this even before it has a chance to truly begin.

Truth be told, you can’t envision a future with Yoongi. There isn’t anything wrong with him, because he’s not the problem here. Yoongi is fun, he’s considerate, he keeps things light on purpose for you, until you’re ready to initiate something more serious. He’s good for you, even Taehyung thinks so.

But you can’t love Yoongi, not in the way that he wants you to. Not more than you love Jungkook.

There you go. Ruining things again.

Did you ruin Jungkook? Is that what happened?

The layers on you are no match for the sea at night. The wind hisses relentlessly, biting at any part of your skin that’s exposed.

It takes you back to that night. Almost everything does, actually.

Maybe that’s why you never even stopped to consider starting anything with anyone, because it always ends. If there’s a beginning, then there will be an inevitable ending. Love isn’t made to last and you aren’t meant to carry love with you. You’ve been abandoned twice. If it happens a third time, it’s a pattern, and then your hypothesis will only be proven. That the problem here is you.

You’d be lying if you said you haven’t wondered when it’ll finally be Taehyung’s turn to leave. He eventually will, right? That one’s gonna hurt.

Then, you’re startled when someone calls your name.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks. The wind and the waves masked the sound of his footsteps walking up to you. When you turn around to face him, his eyes grow worried, almost panicked. “Why are you crying?”

You breathe out irritatedly before you hastily wipe at your cheeks. You didn’t even realize that you’d been crying. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine,” you say, though you both know it’s a lie. “I’m just tired. I’m going up to my room.”

He catches your wrist in a firm grip when you try to walk away. You wish he’d just leave you alone, but you knew he wouldn’t drop it just like that.

“I said I’m fine,” you insist.

“You were crying,” he says. “Did I do something wrong?”

He didn’t, at least not tonight.

God, you really don’t want to do this right now.

“Jungkook,” you warn. “Let go of me.”

You try to free yourself from his grip, hoping that he’ll get the hint and back off for now. Instead, he pulls you into his chest, where you struggle to escape from his hold until you realize your efforts are futile. He takes the wind’s place, wound tightly around you, so tightly that it’s nearly impossible for you to move.

You hiss out his name, but he doesn’t budge. 

“Jungkook, can you just- Fuck!”

Damn him.

You realize he’s not giving up, which in turn makes you give up struggling, hoping that if you let this be a moment, then it’ll be something that can pass.

You’re just standing there, letting him hold you, letting yourself be held by the person who broke you in the first place. This feels exactly like where you’re supposed to be - in his arms, with your face hidden in the crook of his neck, his gentle fingers stroking your hair. There’s not a lot that you could do but lean into that feeling the same way you lean into him. One foot in the sand, one foot in the past. A hand on the doorknob of time, wondering if you should look back or look forward.

You want to be alone, but that never used to apply with him.

The wind stills, the sea calms. You remain unmoving too, locked in his embrace. You feel the faint rhythm of his heart, beating faster than you think it should. If you could, you would bottle this moment up and live there forever.

I miss you, you think.

I miss you.

I miss you.

I miss you.

Then your arms are around him too. It only makes him hold you tighter, and all you can think about is how much you miss him, how painful it is to miss him, how you feel like you’re being pulled apart at the seams from the weight of missing him. 

Fuck.

Can you pretend that the last few years never happened? Is there a higher power that would allow you to go back to the night before that wretched Wednesday, when everything was still perfect? Hundreds of days of your life, can you pretend that it was just one long nightmare? When you wake up, you’ll be back in his humble apartment, tangled up together in his bed. Warm sunlight, your silken youth, and him. It was all you ever needed.

Again with the devastating familiarity. The city, the beach. His mother’s warmth that always made you reminisce about your own mother’s coldness. How Jungkook used to find you in moments like this and just stayed by your side until the dejection passed. He understood that he could never understand it the way you did.

You hear yourself sniffle, then you feel him press a kiss into your hair. Home is comforting.

Oh, you never want to leave.

You don’t want to leave, and that’s terrifying.

You allow yourself to stay there for one more second - one endless second - so you could commit to memory what it’s like to be with him. Back and forth. It’s always so easy to fall into him.

Jungkook releases you when he feels you loosen after a while, and you reluctantly meet his eyes as he tilts your head to face him.  His fingers cradling your jaw, how warm and delicate they feel on your skin.

You swallow thickly, your mind going blank. He’s the only person you see, the only one that matters. His eyes flicker south, and even then you don’t make any move to run away, despite his loose grip on your waist telling you that you can if you want to.

You told him that it would pass, and maybe for him, it will. For him, it’s the city and the moment, making him feel like he’s caught up in a page that he’s turned over a long time ago. He was fine with leaving, and he’s been fine without you. It will pass for him, as much as it hurts you to admit it.

But not for you. For you, there’s only him. There’s nobody else but him. It’s always been him, no matter how hard you try to tell yourself that there will be another person you can love as much as you love Jungkook. You might only be a page, perhaps even a chapter, in the story of his life, but he’s your entire book. He’s volume after volume after volume, until he takes up the whole shelf and leaves no room for anything else, not even for yourself.

And now here he is - at the biggest turn in your career.

He’s a bad blood cell you can’t ever get rid of.

You’ll never be able to truly let go of him. How could you? When you truly love someone, those feelings will carry on forever. They’ll always have a piece of your heart despite an ending. When you look back on a certain period in your life, you’ll think to yourself, You’ll always be a part of me. I loved you then.

But Jungkook is a force of nature. He has your whole heart.

Years and years from now, when you look back on your life, you know you’ll see him everywhere. Even when you’re old and gray, and when faces all just blur together in a mosaic of broken memories and long lost youth, you know you’ll still remember him - the person you loved, the one whom you let slip through your fingers. The great love of your life when you were young.

Sometimes, you regret that day. You can’t help feeling like it was your fault too. Maybe you should’ve tried harder to keep him. You should’ve fought harder, should’ve held onto him instead of standing there and watching him leave.

He lit the match, and you let the house burn. It takes two to tango, two to break a heart.

You’re quick to let people leave. Oh, how you wish it could be that easy to let them go too.

It isn’t until your eyes mimic the flicker of his gaze that he leans in. You meet him halfway. For the first time in years, you feel like you could breathe, truly breathe. It’s achingly slow, like neither of you can believe that this is happening. 

You sigh against his mouth when his tongue brushes your bottom lip, slips past the seal to devour you. It feels like a perfect dream. You could stay in this bubble with him forever, pretend that you’re the only two people who exist in the world and there’s nothing else, no one else, waiting for you in a city that seems so far away right now. The thought of him never left you, not even for a second. He’s always been with you everywhere you go, no matter what you do, always in the back of your mind.

He tastes like your youth, like remembrance. He kisses you like he’s still yours when deep down you know that you’re still his. The hand on your jaw is gentle but firm, and it makes you repeat a thought, I miss you.

Then a feeling, I love you.

Not then. Now.

I love you now.

I love you even when I shouldn’t. Even when it hurts. Even when you leave me. Even when you don’t love me more than I love you. If there comes a day where you love somebody else, I will still love you then. There will never be another person for me but you. My first and only love.

When he pulls away, you think it’s too quick, even though your lungs are grateful for the breath that you instantly inhale. You stare at his lips like you’re in a daze, mesmerized, wanting to chase them again. You don’t even know how you have it in yourself to utter these next words, but you hear your own voice saying them anyway.

You’re holding onto him now. Doesn’t that count?

“Let’s…” Your fingers tighten on the collar of his dress shirt. “Let’s go up to your room.”

note (2): so... what do we think?? will they?? won't they?? 😵 stay tuned for obs7.5 which will be dropping 29.09.2023! also i'm gonna pause obs muse asks for a little bit! 😬

all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted september 24, 2023]

[daenysx]

hello can i ask for another aemond hurt comfort fic (if ure still writing for him, if not thank u anyway <3) make it hurt pls thank you 😞

p.s: i absolutely sobbed reading that drabble of him getting snappy at reader bcs they wanted to go out while it's sunny + also why i went back on ur blog and coincidentally saw ur requests open lol

i don't think i'll ever stop writing for aemond, i love him too much ♡ thank you for your request, lovely, i hope you like this!

modern!aemond targaryen x fem!reader, hurt/comfort

aemond isn't used to have someone taking care of him, not when he's like this.

his mother was doing the best she can when he was younger; holding his hand when he had an appointment with his doctor, sleeping next to him and rubbing his back when he couldn't get any rest, kissing his forehead and telling him how brave he's been. as he grew older he stopped asking for help, she had to have her own life. he did anything he can to convince her that he's fully capable of taking care of himself now. "thank you, mom, i'm fine."

alicent put her children before her every time, sacrificing her youth just to make sure they are well. aemond felt guilty when he realized how little his mother cares about her own life, only to take care of her half blind son. it pains him, still, but he's a grown man now. he'll be okay when she's out of town with her newly wedded husband.

he lies in bed for hours, waits for the pain in his eye disappear. the room is dark, it's silent in a disturbing way. aemond curses under his breath when a sudden pain flashes in his head, he might prefer dying over this.

no, he can't cry. it'll only make the pain worse. does he deserve to live his young days like that? laying in bed like a sick man, waiting for help but being too prideful to ask for it, spending hours only to be able to breathe without suffering. he's mad these days, always angry and tense. vengeful for something that happened years ago, tearing up for his wound that will never be okay.

the door creaks open slowly. you close it back to let the darkness stay still. quiet steps, almost hesitant as if he'll tell you to leave. you put on a brave face as you approach him with a cool glass of water in your hand.

"aemond?" you whisper. you can't see his face clearly, he doesn't react as you put the glass on his nightstand.

"i'm okay." he says. dishonesty drips down his voice.

"can i help you?" you whisper again. it's the first time in your new relationship that he's been so bad. you don't know what to do.

"i'm used to it." he replies. "you can leave if you have somewhere else to be, i don't think i can leave the bed for the rest of the day."

your heart breaks. does he think you'll leave him like this? he might prefer suffering silently but you won't let him. he seems like he doesn't even get the point of having a relationship. he treats you like you aren't his girlfriend, like you are just another person in the room. it makes you wanna curl up in bed and cry, you know you don't deserve this.

he's still in pain so you can't be mad at him. it'll only make things worse. "i can leave- if you want to be alone. i'd rather stay with you, though."

you can't see his face but you can feel he tries to decide. you like aemond too much and you think he likes you too. you know he does. it definitely has to do something with his past. you try to take a silent breath, completely still to not disturb him.

aemond doesn't even know what to say, he'd kill to have someone by his side. to have you. he selfishly wants to keep you even when he feels like he shouldn't. you deserve someone better. you deserve a man who doesn't have to stay in complete darkness because of his past. you are shining everywhere you go but aemond is dark, there's no spark in him. he likes you too much to let you go, his inner turmoil does him nothing good.

"stay with me." he says finally. "please."

"can i sit?"

"mm-hmm."

you sit on bed carefully. you treat him like he's someone delicate, like he deserves something good. aemond isn't sure how to deal with your kindness, he still hasn't found a way. he likes it too much, though. he likes everything about you.

you hold his hand gently. his fingers are cold, you rub his knuckles with a soft thumb. he lets out a breath he doesn't know he's been holding when you press on a tight spot, right where his thumb meets his pointer finger. it feels nice. you keep rubbing his hand until you hear a protest.

"s nice." he says quietly.

"my mom used to do this when i got headaches. i know yours is different but-"

"s really nice." he says again. "thank you."

you take his other hand, treating with same kindness. he holds a lot of tension in his body, he doesn't even know how much. a massage to his hands is a small thing to help him relax but you want him to know you're with him.

"do you want to put your head on my leg?" you ask. "maybe i can rub your temples a bit."

you are not afraid of his rejection, willing to do anything that might help him. to your surprise, he sits on bed, waits for you to get comfier. you place yourself properly, he puts his head on your leg just the way you want and you start massaging his head.

"i like your hair so much." you whisper. "so soft."

"i like yours better." he replies, whispering. "but thank you."

you press your fingers to his temples slowly, he lets out another shaky breath. "i'm not gonna hurt you, i promise. you'll feel better in a minute."

he nods slightly, feeling of your warm fingers on his skin makes him somewhat excited. he is distracted with your quiet words and kind fingers, for a moment he forgets about the dull pain in his head.

you keep rubbing his temples until your fingers go numb. you stroke his hair then, silky platinum blonde strands flow in your hands. you play with his hair, braid a little piece of it. he truly is distracted at this point, too grateful to say something.

"i think i'll fall asleep." he can say.

"that's okay." you tell him. "i'll be here when you wake up."

somehow he knows you'll be here with him until the end. he can feel how his emotions for you fill his heart and his mind until they are both full of you, only you and no one else. it's a nice feeling, having someone by his side. being someone's choice, not responsibility.

[morlao]

Headcanon

(aka Sebastian constantly annoying Ominis bc he can't stop talking about MC)

Pairing:

Sebastian Sallow x fem!slytherin!reader

•••

It started the very first day.

After Sebastian had talked to you in the Slytherin common room he couldn't stop thinking about that mysterious new girl.

Actually he had planned to read more about a potential antidote for Anne that evening, but he couldn't concentrate anymore.

For hours he was staring at the pages until he finally realized it's no use.

Lost in thought he stormed into his dormotory where Ominis was just getting ready for bed. "How can I befriend the new girl?"

"Is this a serious question? You never worried about making friends before."

"Just answer my question."

Ominis shrugged. "Well, she's new here. You could offer to show her around."

A grin appeared on Sebastian's face. "Sounds like a plan. I'll talk to Professor Weasley about it tomorrow."

•••

Some days later, after he lost your duel in Professor Hecat's class, Sebastian didn't seem pissed at all - which surprised Ominis very much.

Sebastian hated losing, in fact he acted like a little kid about to throw a tantrum.

Ominis had to step in multiple times to save his classmates or the ancient furniture. But you. Sebastian didn't seem angry at all. On the contrary, he seemed to like you even more. He just couldn't shut up about your good technique.

"She's a brilliant duelist. I didn't have a chance. Amazing technique!"

This was the first time Ominis suspected that his friend might have a crush on you.

•••

However, Ominis decided not to talk to him about it - not yet. After all, he wasn't sure if Sebastian himself had noticed it.

Ominis decided to give him a little more time... until Sebastian accompanied you to Hogsmeade and the two of you DEFEATED A TROLL.

He couldn't believe it when Sebastian told him about it during dinner. The way he described you and your fighting skills, so detailed, so excited.

He was so busy with talking that he almost forgot to eat. Some of the other students that were sitting near them giggled as they watched him.

Imelda showed her typical grin. "Sounds like someone is in love", she teased.

Sebastian stared at her as if he had just realized that she might be right. As if it wasn't obvious to him before.

•••

A few days later Sebastian told Ominis about his feelings for you for the first time. He seemed to have fallen fast and hard.

"Ominis, I guess I'm in love with her."

Ominis facepalmed. "Oh, really? What a surprise."

"I've never met someone like her before. You have to meet her! I've got a feeling that she'll bring lots of adventure."

So a few days later, Sebastian introduced you to each other.

•••

From that day on, you were Sebastian's main topic.

Whenever he hung out with Ominis, you were all he talked about.

After you had met Ominis and the two of you became friends, it got a little easier. Since you three were together most of the time, Sebastian couldn't simp about you anymore. What a relief!

Ominis made sure you were always around. You two got along very well and he really liked you.

You shared the same sense of humor, you liked reading and often read to him and you often told him about your life before Hogwarts.

It didn't take long until Sebastian got jealous. "Are you trying to steal her away from me?"

This was the first time in years that Ominis felt anger burning inside him. "Do you really think I would ever do that? Do you really think I'm such a bad friend?"

Immediately Sebastian felt guilty. "I'm sorry, I didn't..."

Ominis nodded. "It's okay and just that you know... she's like a sister to me."

•••

Whenever it was just the two of them and Seb sighed Ominis was just ignoring it.

He was naive enough to ask what was wrong the first time and.... never again. He didn't get one hour of sleep that night.

Unfortunately Seb never took Ominis' silence as an answer. He walked up straight to his bed in the middle of the night, sat down on the edge and sighed again heavily.

Annoyed Ominis turned around and sat up with an extra exaggerated yawn, but of course Seb didn't care.

As soon as he saw that Ominis was awake he started.

Ominis didn't even have to say the annoyed "what?"

"It's just... she's hanging out with Garreth a lot lately and..."

"Yeah because that's what friends do. They hang out together."

"I don't think Garreth wants to be just friends."

They've had this conversation a million times already. Ominis didn't know what to say anymore, it didn't matter anyway, as Sebastian wouldn't listen to his tips. He never did.

"Seb just go to sleep."

"You studied together this afternoon, didn't you? Did she say something about me?"

"Yeah, that you're annoying."

"Come on, tell me what she really said."

"She did say that. Also she thinks that you're stubborn but a good friend."

"Did she sound like she liked me? As more than a friend, you know."

Ominis let out an annoyed growl. "You are aware that I'm trying to sleep?"

"Did she sound like she liked me?"

"FOR MERLIN'S SAKE! Go to sleep, maybe I'll tell you tomorrow. "

•••

To be honest, Ominis was pretty sure that you liked Sebastian.

You had never said anything like that but he had enough of other evidence.

Being blind made you pay attention to the details after all. For example how your way of speaking changed whenever Sebastian came around.

Your voice got a little higher, you talked faster and he was pretty sure he could hear you smiling the whole time.

Damn, he was pretty sure the two of you were looking at each other like lovesick idiots and were still completely oblivious. It was frustrating!

•••

When Sebastian finally found the courage to plan his confession, of course he annoyed Ominis again.

Why the hell did he think Ominis knew everything about girls and how to tell them he's in love?

Ominis didn't have a girlfriend and he also wasn't the girls' number one crush.

Nevertheless Sebastian thought he was the perfect contact person for this. "Ominis, please, I don't know what to say."

"Trust your instincts, you're good with words."

Ominis himself wasn't sure if that's a good tip to give. Yes, Sebastian was charming, but around you he acts either like a total jerk or a player. And from what he knew about you, he could tell for sure that you wouldn't wanna date a player.

"Maybe you should act more like a gentleman around her", he corrected himself.

Sebastian seemed offended. "I am a gentleman. I'm charming."

"You don't seem like a gentlemen, you seem like a flirt. Today you said 》bella ciao《 to her and winked at her."

Sebastian grimaced. "Yeah, but sometimes I do act like a gentleman. I always accompany her to her classes, I carry her books and I give her my notes when she skips classes again."

"Okay, then slip in subtle hints of liking her."

"I saved her from detention when Peeves caught us in the forbidden section of the library. Does she really think I would do that for everyone?"

•••

The following night was again a living nightmare for Ominis.

He had barely fallen asleep when he heard Seb (who had been tossing and turning in his bed the whole time) calling out his name. "Ominis, are you awake?"

"What do you want?" At this point Ominis didn't even try to hide the fact that he was annoyed.

"I'm not sure if I should really confess tomorrow... I mean... what should I say?"

"Trust me... when you're standing in front of her, you'll know."

The truth was, Ominis wasn't sure about this advice, he actually just wanted Seb to shut up and let him sleep.

On top of that, he was pretty sure, you liked Seb, so there was no reason for him to be nervous.

"But Ominis, she's way out of my league. She's incredibly smart and talented. She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and have you seen the way she smiles when she..."

"Okay, enough!" Ominis sat up and sighed heavily, giving up a fight he couldn't win anyway. "Maybe you should imagine you're talking to me. Say it exactly the way you tell me about her."

For a moment Seb was quiet, which Ominis thought to be a good sign.

"Okay, I'll try. But Ominis..."

"SEBASTIAN SALLOW, I SWEAR TO MERLIN, ONE MORE WORD AND I'LL..."

•••

The next day, Seb was waiting for you in the common room.

It was a pretty nice day, so most of the people were outside, only a couple of first years were sitting at a table, giggling and laughing.

"Fuck, I'm nervous...", Sebastian murmured, running a hand through his hair.

"Hey" Ominis smiled "You don't need to be."

"Can I practise before she comes in?"

Ominis grimaced. "Okay, if that's what it takes for you to leave me alone..."

"Yeah, I promise..." Sebastian cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. "Okay... there is something that I want to tell you. First of all, you're amazing! You're the bravest and most talented person I've ever met. You're the only one who can beat me at a duel. And.... I'm not sure if this will ruin our friendship but I think I'm in love with you."

You rose your eyebrow, an amused smile on your lips. "Wow, I didn't know you could be that romantic."

Sebastian whirled around, his face as red as the Gryffindor's flag. "Y/N! You're... here..."

You can't help but laugh. You've never seen him this embarrassed before. "Yeah, you asked me to come, remember?"

"Hi Y/N", Ominis greeted you with a smile, before stepping back and signalling for Seb to go on.

"So... I... I wanted to tell you something", Seb started, struggeling to find the right words. He didn't expect you to show up so early, catching him completely unprepared.

Your gace darted from Ominis to Seb. Why was he acting so weird. "Does it have something to do with your confession to Ominis?"

Again, Seb's head turned bright red. "Well, actually... that confession was for you."

You looked at him completely startled. It was for you? Everything he said about falling in love and ruining your friendship?

It was your dream come true.

Nevertheless you tried to play it cool, rising an eyebrow and shooting him a grin. "Oh and you confused me with him because we look so alike?"

At first Sebastian looked at you confused, but as he realized you were joking, he became more relaxed. "Yep, you really do. Are you sure you're not twins?"

"Not exactly."

Both of you laughed, then Sebastian stepped closer, softly grabbing your hand. "Okay, I guess I have to make sure to confess to the right person this time... Y/N, I've been in love with you for quite a while now and... I wanted to ask if you want to go on a date with me."

Damn his smile, his charming smile.

"I would love to", you smile back and Sebastian's face lights up like a Christmas tree.

You step closer to him, intertwining your fingers behind his neck while pulling him down towards you.

You can feel a firework exploding in your chest, when your lips finally collide. His kiss is soft and sweet at first but starts to become more passionate pretty fast.

You couldn't believe it. You were really kissing Sebastian Sallow!

Ominis clears his throat and the two of you let go of each other. "I might not be able to see you, but that doesn't mean that I can't hear you snogging."

Both of you blush deeply and giggle. "Sorry, Ominis!"

[elliesgaythoughts]

Piña coladas

Moodboard

SwitchEllie x SwitchReader

Warnings: aaalmost cheating ig, angst, fluff and smut😏, alcohol, scissoring on the beach bc that’s gay asff, fingering e! and r! receiving, oral e! and r! receiving, spitting, reader has a puthyy, lmk if I forgot some shit x

A/N: inspired by piña coladas by Rupert Homes. This was supposed to be a lil blurb but here we are ig x

As Ellie rinsed of her toothbrush and gave herself a quick glance in the mirror, seeing her plad pajama pants and white tank adorned to her body as she walked out the bathroom, rolling her eyes at your already asleep body as she climed into bed beside you, leaving her lamp on, considering the fact that she’ll be skimming through a newspaper for the next hour or so. (a habit she had picked up from Joel.)

She paused, for only a moment, admiring your pretty features and gentle smlie as you probably danced in the world of dreams, appreciating all the time you both have spent together, the memories, the laughter, the things you both had in common, the joy that she felt in your presence that has slowly started to fade, she felt guilty about almost resenting your presence, she didn’t hate you, you just never brought her that ecstasy that you both promised eachother at the start of this marriage, you both have falling into a lifestyle of pattern and predictableness, turning every day lifeless and a mere faded, dull colour on a once vibrant peice of art.

The guilt ate even more at her belly as she stopped on an ad, her finger tracing along the playful words that caught her eye, exciting her and scaring her at the same time, she shouldn’t be feeling this way about anyone, anyone other than her dearest wife. She battled with her emotions as she read the catchy poetry:

if you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain

if you’re not into yoga

if you have half a brain

if you like making love at midnight (oh god has it been so long since she’s done that with you, she missed it)

in the dunes on the cape

then I’m the love that you’ve looked for

write to me and escape

Any thought of you instantly left her mind, enthralled by this new character, such a burst of life, she knew it was wrong, but she knew what she was going to do regardless as she picked up her notebook and played with her pencil, spinning it between her fingertips as she tried to think of something just as flashy to respond with, gnawing at her bottom lip, butterflies dancing in her belly as the graphite trailed along the pale paper while she prayed that her years of song writing would catch this poets eye, giggling to herself like a school girl as she wrote:

yes I like piña coladas

and getting caught in the rain

and I’m not into health food

i am into champagne,

She rolled her bottom lip out and squinted are eyes at the parchment, nodding to herself as she continued:

i’ve got to meet you by tomorrow noon and cut through all this red tape

at a bar called O’malley’s

where we’ll plan our escape…

The day dragged on as she waited for her new found love, reeking of her best fragrance and cigarettes as her foot tapped at the hardwood floor of the bar that was littered with dull lighting and strangely, Irish accents. She huffed as she straightened out her white button up, freezing like a deer caught in headlights as the main door creaked open, her heart stopping as her eyes locked onto a curve of lips that she knew far too familiar, it was her lovely lady.

As you trail forward her smile mirrors yours as she awkwardly jokes out “aw, it’s you” you both can’t help but laugh at each other’s situation as she pulled you in, closing her eyes as and breathing deeply as she placed a gentle peck on your forehead and pulling back, her huge smile taking up most of her face as she eyed you, her eyes slightly concerned “i never knew” she confesses, her hands on each of your arms.

You recognise her anxiety, “what you say we get a drink baby?” you say, your heart swelling at the sight of her happy smile returning “y- yeah I think that’s a good idea hunny” she says, interlacing her fingers with yours as you both walk hand in hand up to the bar, sitting besides on another, palms still touching as you both watch the middle aged red headed woman walk towards you “what can I get for the lovely couple” she smiles, her eyes lighting up at how you both compliment each other “two piña coladas, please” you order as Ellie laughs at your attention to detail…

After hours of talking and drinking, the bar has cleared as the hours ticked on late into the night, while the barkeep ‘Annie’ you learned after you and Ellie chatted to her for about an hour, telling her the story of how you both came to be where you are now “and and scene” Ellie bowed, one hand still on your thigh while she sat on the wooden barstool as if this was one big play, making you giggle, both of you clearly too tipsy for your own good as Annie tried to shoo you both away, growing impatient considering that she should have closed half an hour ago.

“alright you two, I think you both best be on your way now, it’s almost midnight” her fiery, curly hair sways as she tilts her head towards the clock “oh, yeah” you giggle “s-sorry Annie” you say, your speach impaired from the drink as Ellie leans forward and slides a twenty towards Annie “juuust lemme get that bottle of champagne” reminding you of her poem again as she points at the dark bottle on the top shelf as she turns and winks at you “then I’m DONE” she promises with a light slap to the Oakwood.

Annie sighs and stuffs the twenty in her bra, rolling her eyes and spinning on her heels, reaching up and grabbing the neck of the bottle, placing it in front of her as Ellie’s face lights up, her grin only dropping a little as the woman speaks “now get the fuck out my bar” she smiles sweetly as Ellie stands up, back ramrod straight as she salutes her “sir yes sir.”

She laughs as you mirror her actions, laughing to yourself as Ellie watches you with so much love in her eyes as you struggled to hold your laughter in while speaking “ss-sir yes sir” you even stomped your foot for special effect as Annie shooed you both while Ellie’s arm wrapped around your waist, wanting to steady you but mainly just to be closer. The alcohol was making her clingy and other things..

Both of you stumbled out the bar, gasping as the freezing droplets of water hit you and your wife as you snuggled towards eachother, Ellie taking the lead and guiding you to where you both are heading, her accessorised fingers gripping the icy cold neck of the champagne bottle and your waist symaltainuously, her cold thumb dipping into the side of your waistband and running along your flesh and making goosebumps appear as she neared the taxi she had her eye on.

You gripped the cold handle and ushered her into the car, stepping in after her and closing the door besides you, relaxing as the warmth of the car emerges you, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, Ellie’s voice fading as she told the driver where to go before she leans back and grips your thigh lightly bringing you back to reality as you squeeze them together and smile at her lazily, your face saying exactly what you want.

The wet haired girl just rubs circles onto the bare flesh of your thighs that peeped below your skirt “patience my love” she whispered to you, kissing you sweetly, pressing her pink lips to yours and just holding them there, feeling the plush of each others mouths against one another, making your face heat up as her hand slides between the plush of your thighs and squeezes softly, making your clit dance as she lays her head onto your shoulder, the smell of alcohol filling your nostrils as she drifts off while you stare out the window, watching to wherever the car is heading..

“Here’s your stop” happy blonde says, pulling you out your daze “a bit late for a trip to the beach don’t you think?” she asks.

You notice the full moon shining over the dark sea and the stars that littered across the sky, mirroring the sand that was thrown across the surface “uh” you paused.

Gripping the auburn headed girls shoulder “Ellie? Ellie?” You shook her gently, stirring her awake, her radiant face smiling up at you from your lap “yeah babe?” “we’re at the beach?” her body springs up, looking out the window “yes. yes we are” she laughs holding both her arms open at the sight in front of her “cmon baby and grab that” she tilts her head towards the bottle as you pick it up while she pays the lady “thank you” you both chirp before stepping out and closing the doors.

You watch the car drive off as Ellie’s hand meets yours again “cmon mama” she says in a love loving tone, watching the waves as she walks you down to the shore, it looked so pretty like this, it was just you two and the sound of the waves crashing.

Almost instantly Ellie’s lips are on yours, as she unbuttons your blouse, your hands landing in her hair as her arms wrap around your waist dragging you on top of her as she lands on her back in the sand, your knees on either side of her waist, as you both leave messy kisses on each others necks “fucking love you” she mutters, her fingers sliding into your panties “fucking love you too” you speak into her collarbones as she slides her finger along your dripping slit.

making your hips buck towards her as she grips the back of your neck pulling you in for a sloppy kiss, you slide your tongue into her mouth, dancing with the pink muscle as she rubs light circles into your clit, your eyes close, focusing on the feeling she’s putting on you as she sucks on your tongue and picks up the pace against your bud.

You pull away, and nuzzle into the side of her throat, your body writhing on top of her “ellie” you whisper “hmm?” “im gonna cum” you murmer into her neck “imgonnacum” your voice getting higher, your hips jerking as she pumps her finger inside you a few times before coming back down to your sensitive bud, your face pressed into her shoulder “d-don’t stop!” you squeal, your legs spasming as you palm her chest, your whole body on fire as you clench around nothing, squeezing so tightly as your teeth sink into her shoulder, making Ellies hips buck and her squeal in pleasure from the pain as you cum, your release dripping onto her abdomen and soaking through her clothes.

You breath, in and out through your mouth, catching your breath, your face hot as you speak, desperate to see more of her “guess we gotta take this off huh” Ellie’s lip tilts into a little smirk as you unbutton the shirt kissing the new revealed flesh with each undoing, one of her hands in your hair as your look up at her bare chest as your lips finally meet the soft leather of her belt before you unclasp it, your knees in the sand as you make home between her legs.

You lean forward angling your hand into her underwear as one hand lands into the slightly cold sand besides Ellie’s auburn hair as you avoid her clit and push one finger into her soaked entrance “f-fuck baby” she says through a tight throat “ffuck” both her hands wrap around your wrist as slide you glide in and out of her slowly.

Listening to her whimper as you messily lick around the oh her lips formed before spitting into her parted lips, watching as it drips down her tongue and then down her throat with each of her gasps that are raising in pitch urgently as you hit that spongy spot inside her.

Her brow furrowing and her eyes watering as her nails dig themselves into your forearm, her hips jerking as you push a second inside her warm plush cunt, your voice mixing with the squelches of pussy “aww you can take it mama” you reassure her and she just nods, the sand mixing with her hair as her warm tears runs down her face “y-yess mama g-unh please let me cum”

“hmm” your thumb comes up to play with her clit as you press your bare nipples to hers while you lick up the front of her throat, up the soft skin of her chin until you mouth is on hers while you speak “cum for me” against her lips.

Her back arches against the beach as she chants “yes” over and over while you continue to pound into her walls, them crushing your fingers “m-ama!” she squeals, squirting all over your fingers and falling limply, her head lulling to the side as her hands fold onto her belly, smiling lazily to herself with her eyelids half closed, high off your touch as you finish undressing her limp body and yourself, tossing the material to the side to lay in the sand.

Her heavy eyes watching as you slot yourself in between her legs, holding your eyes on hers as you let a ball of spit drip from your tongue directly into her thumping clit, making her gasp as you lower your centre against hers, her gentle moans mixing with the soft swooshing sounds of the waves hitting the shore,like music to your ears.

The gentle breeze making your nipples stiffen against your chest as the air leaves your body, the feel of her warmth against yours making you huff out shaky breaths, she felt so fucking good against you, your eyes watering as you wrapped both your arms around her thigh that was pressed against your torso, your cheek pressing against her calf as you placed soft kisses on the skin there while you glided back and forth into her.

Watching the oh shape her mouth formed as your bodies moved in tandem, slipping and sliding against eachother, making your wife feel so good, “e-ellie” you whisper a warning at the feel of her clit dancing against yours “me too m-uh metoo fuck” “mhmm” you whine picking up your pace, getting lost in how her freckled chest bounced under the moonlight with your movements, the salt of the sea filling your nostrils as your hips buck against hers, “don’t st-ugh” her face twisting in pleasure as her walls clamp against nothing, squeezing so tight as her legs spasm, kicking the sand, her chest trembling as her nails sink into the flesh of your hips “mommy” the gutteral moan that leaves your body at the name is enough to push her over the edge, her stomach spasming as she cums against you.

Her sensitive clit being beaten by you as tears leave your eyes and ellie’s name leaves your mouth, your whole body on flames as little spurts of liquid leaves you, making your body fall limp against hers, her heart beating rapidly against yours as you lay chest to chest, her palm resting against your back, both of your flesh kissing as you both pant, trying to catch your breaths “fuck, ellie” you laugh, in complete shock of how good you just felt, getting giggly from your high as you still feel her clit pitter pattering against yours softly “fuck” she just says back, weakly, in a daze “yeah” you laugh back.

You nuzzle your face into the side of her neck as her fingertips trace your body, peaceful in each others silence till you break it “what you say we go for a swim?” you whisper against her flesh and you can sense the smile that grows on her face “mhm” she hums, rolling over so now her toned body is above yours as she kisses your lips “good idea mama” she says, smirking and smacking the outside of your thigh harshly “Ellie!” you squeal as she stands up on shaky legs and sprints towards the water, you giggling as you chase after her…

Ellie’s back layed against the wet sand, hiding her face behind her hands shyly as you pulled her lower body into the cold water with you “mhm so pretty mama” you admired her porcelain skin against the moon as you held her hips just above the water, your tongue landing on her clit as you pulled it under with your mouth, the taste of Ellie and the salt water filling your senses as your nose hovered just above, allowing yourself to breathe as your tongue flicked harshly at her sensitive pearl, the water splashing as her thighs encased your face “ffu-god” she said through a tight windpipe “oh god” she chanted over and over her fingers in your wet hair pulling you closer, drowning you in her as you smiled to yourself, tilting your head to the side and sucking on the sensitive bundle of nerves, the v-line on her stomach tensing up as her body moved restlessly.

The closer she gets, the thurther you drag her under, leaving the mark of where she once was in the sand as you your mouth seduces her just as a siren, only to drag her to the depths with you for your own pleasure.

Filling your mouth with water and lifting her narrow hips above the surface and letting the lukewarm liquid stream from your mouth onto her throbbing clit before landing a harsh spit of your saliva where your tongue once was.

You effortlessly slide two fingers inside her, one arm hooked around her leg, keeping her to you as her lower half dangles above the water, one of her legs laying limply in the pool as you pump in and out of her, harshly hitting that spongy spot inside her, making the poor girl sob as her delicate fingers wrap around your wrist.

Your eyes land on her leaking ones, watching the tears of pleasure roll down her blushed cheeks as she stutters “t-to much” she pleads for a break “too much yeah?” pulling out of her warmth, your gentle eyes flicker as a heavy handed slap lands to her clit making the pain shoot through her body and turn to pleasure as the plush of her thighs squeeze your hand.

Pulling her in with you as your cheeks hallowed, suckling on her clit, now only her head resting on the golden granules “fuck fuck fuck” she whispers as you nod against her, your thumbs rubbing soft circles onto her bare hips “dontstop!” She rushed out, her body tensing and curling in on itself as she tried to regulate her breathing with little gasps, both her hands in your hair as she trembled against the ocean “please” she begged over and over, completely gone from reality as the band in her belly snapped with a squeal of your name and her wet flesh squeezing the sides of your head and her fingers pulling at your locks, trying to get some relief as you continued to fuck her through her orgasm until you decided she had enough, pecking her clit, finally granting her the chance to breathe and pulling her thighs, picking her up till they wrapped around your waist as you palmed her ass.

Resting your head in the side of her neck and kissing the ticklish skin there as she slowly came back to reality “I love you so much” she spoke, her eyes closed and cheek pressing to yours as you echoed her words back to her “I love you too angel.”

You both just smiled contently, quietly feeling eachothers heart beat against one another’s “so much” you whisper, tears pricking at your eyes and finally falling, hitting her chest “hey, hey baby” she coos, gently grabbing your chin and making your eyes meet her green teary ones, her chapped lips parting as she speaks “I know, I know” she promises, placing soft kisses repeatedly to your lips as your breathing trembled. You calmed down a little and tried to kiss her back finally, feeling her smile against your mouth as the sun started to hit the bare flesh that you both shared.

“cold” Ellie muttered against your mouth, shivering at the temperature of the sea “oh yeah, lemme get you dressed mama” you stepped towards the shore, her body still wrapped around yours as you felt the sand between your toes and her body temperature regulate against yours, warming you up.

You tap her hip and her feet land in the sand as you pick up your blouse and slide it over her arms, kissing up her bare body with each button of the fabric till you peck her forehead and pull her white top over your body, her eyes watching you as you lay your skirt on the sand, sitting on it and beconing her towards you.

She nods, understanding you completely, without the need for words.

Her freckled face smiling as she grabs the bottle of champagne and sits onto your crossed legged lap, her knees at the side of your waist as her legs wrapped around you yet again, her eyes crinkle, smiling as she pops the cork off of the bottle and holding it to your mouth and watching intently as you take a sip “mmmh” you rolled your eyes.

She tilts her head like a bewildered puppy, her confusion only disappearing after she took a swig.

Her face twisting as she faked a gag “what did Annie sell us?” She laughed “diesel” you guessed, shrugging your shoulders and giggling watching as she still sips at it, smacking her lips “definitely diesel” she grins.

Digging the base of the bottle into the sand and pushing you down onto your back, the twinkle in her eye never faltering as you watch her grunt, rolling onto her back besides you, hip to hip, her fingers intertwining with yours “pretty isn’t it?” she asks as you, both of you slowing down, breathing in the smell of the beach as you watch the sun rise, lost in its beauty.

You tilt your head to face her “not as pretty as you” you poke her shoulder.

Watching the crimson appear on her freckled cheeks has your heart beating outta your chest, you can barely see her eyes she’s smiling that hard “cheesy” she giggles and kisses your shoulder “ugh you love it” you mock “i do” she whispers, mainly to herself as your hand reaches up and massages the back of her head, watching her eyes flutter close with a big stupid smile on your face “love you” she sighs against your shoulder “love you too ellie”…

@williamellieslilho @yourelliewillms @bready101 @moonalumi @heygrimace @elliesmama @pascals-doll @infiniteinquiries

[danikamariewrites]

Hey can you pls write a rhysand and Azriel poly ddlg relationship where reasder is being really clingy with both Azriel and Rhysand like she literally crys when one of them isn’t around her or touching in some way like she’s being really needdy and she will literally sit on rhysand lap while he works and she likes be as close to them as possible

Mine, Mine, Mine

Rhsyriel x reader

A/n: sorry the Az stuff is so short I didn’t want it to get repetitive with the Az stuff I’ve already written

Warnings: poly relationship, ddlg, daddy kink

You are super clingy with your mates. You can’t stand being away away from them you just love them so damn much

You’re also very possibly of them and demand their attention at all times

They love the attention from you and they love treating you like the princess you are

When you’re with both of them you can’t help but stare at Rhys and Azriel with heart eyes

“I have to be in the middle all the time, come here.” You say, sitting on the couch holding your arms out for them to lay on your chest. And how could they deny their precious princess

They love when you sit on their laps when they work

Obviously you switch between the two depending on who needs you most

Since Rhys works the most at home you end up with him but when Az has to do reports you sit with him

Little things you do to show them affection are holding their hands, small kisses on their cheeks, hugs from behind, and sometimes you give them little bites bc you just can’t help yourself

You used to get a little overwhelmed when they were both home

You would feel guilty if you were with one and not the other because you didn’t want them to feel neglected

Rhys and Azriel came up with a schedule after you cried one time because you didn’t want to say no to either of them. You had brought both of them lunch in the offices and each had asked you to stay with them. They both missed you so much and just wanted to hold you

You had a breakdown in the hall between their offices

Rhys and Az noticed you silently crying trying to make your decision. They rush out to comfort you. “Darling why are you crying?” Azriel wipes your tears as you explain, “because, I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings and you both want me to sit with you and I don’t know what to do.” “Oh princess, why didn’t you say something earlier?” You sniffled, looking up at your mates. “I’m sorry daddy. I promise I’ll speak up next time.”

At meals you rest your legs on Rhys and he rubs a hand up and down your thigh while resting your head Azriel’s shoulder

When they’re extra busy and you have to entertain yourself you get a major attitude

“Sorry darling, but we have a lot of work to do today. Why don’t you go shopping or something.” Rhys suggested with semi-convincing smile. You felt your eye twitch. “Sorry daddy I don’t think I heard you correctly. Shopping or something?” Azriel swooped in at the last second to stop the blow up and tears. He held your hips pulling you to his chest. “It’s ok princess. How about you sit with me for a while and we can let Rhysie work. Then when we have our meeting you can do your own thing, ok?” You figured that was fair and realized Rhys needed his space for a bit

When both of them have to go away you cry for a few hours

After your little hot girl cry over your daddies leaving you demand Cassian entertain you until they return

When Rhys is away Az delegates all work to his very capable spies so he can spend more time with you

Your favorite thing to do with Az is snuggle while he reads to you

His voice is just so perfect and calming, you could just fall asleep while he reads

Azriel lays out your favorite snacks and depending on the season he’ll have your favorite juice or bottomless hot cocoa with aaaalllllll the marshmallows he can find for you

When Az is away Rhys does his best to make sure your day is filled with fun activities so you don’t think about missing Azriel too much

Rhys’ activity for you was a day out that he liked to call daddy-darling days where he takes you out for lunch, do some shopping, and see a show at the theatre

When the missing half comes home you always come running at them when they walk through the door, jumping into his arms as you scream, “You are never ever leaving me again! I missed you daddy!”

Having them both back within reach made you unbelievably happy

They take you out to dinner as a lil treat and cuddle you extra tight at night

[s-i-ll-y-w-i-ll-y]

Surprise ~

William Afton/Steve Raglan x gn!reader

Summary: Your older brother doesn’t return from his nightshift and, unbeknownst to you, your little sister Abby sneaks out, so you go to the one place you think they might be, Fazbears.

TW!

Dub-con, implied character death, violence, swearing, angst-ish, creepy old man in a fursuit.(tell me if I missed any)

(Just saying this is rlly long bc I’ve had this idea in my hollow head for a while now- one of those bedtime scenarios yk and ik it’s bad but just trust me🥲)

!Not proofread!

~~~~~~

Puddles of rain water seeping into your ragged shoes as you raced through the parking lot. The rain hit your coat with a thud as you rushed over to the main entrance which, to your dismay, was locked.

“Shit..”

Mumbling incoherent swears, you finally had an epiphany. You raced to the side of the building, lifting the heavy steel garage door with a grunt and forcing yourself under it before it slammed shut.

“Hello..?” You called out into the void in front of you. A shiver ran down your spine as a draft from the restaurant slid up your back. With heavy steps echoing as you walked across the glossy yet dirty floor, unsteadily braced and ready for action. “Abby? Mike?” You called out as you opened the doors ahead of you.

Heart racing, you wearily stepped forward. Your dad had always told you about Freddys, it wasn’t what you had pictured when he told those dramatised stories. He never showed you pictures, never allowed you to go to it despite it being not too far away from your home.

When your brother told you about the job offer he had been given your heart sunk- it only cracked the linoleum floor in your kitchen when you were told to come and keep an eye on Abby with him on duty because Max hadn’t shown up. That night you watched your brother and sister doze off, giving you the chance to finish your book. Your sister woke up around 3-4ish and needed the toilet so you walked her. On the way back you found what you believed to be the reason for your father’s secrecy on the topic of this hellscape. Watching the creatures jolt to life and race toward you and your sister was less than enlightening.

Someone shook you out of your daydream.

“Y/N, what the hell are you doing here?”

“Oh for god’s sake, Mikey- don’t do that.”

“Y/N, it’s not safe here.”

A light scoff escaped you as your crossed your arms. “Mikey, if it’s dangerous why’re you here with Abbie?”

Mike fumbled for his words before you felt someone wrap their arms around your waist.

Abby’s soft sobbing, her tears staining your shirt. Pulling her close, you tried your best to console her. Her incoherent mumbling about the robots trying to hurt her made your head snap over Mike with a concerned look and Vanessa not too far away seeming guilty offered a small apologetic smile.

Before Mike could even try to fill you in on what’s happened in the last half hour, your heads all shot over as loud footsteps emerged from the darkness near the entrance.

A grossly low, robotic chuckle bellowed from the black sheet of night that covered the area in front of you. Two glowing eyes slunk their way forward, searching the room before settling on the four of you.

Your grip on Abby tightened as you backed away from the intimidating figure who trudged towards the four of you.

“Ah…so they were right.” The Golden Bunny spoke roughly, “The little ones told me you had a sister..but not another sibling, Mikey.” His voice like venom as he spat out the nickname, as if it were offensive.

Vanessa created a barrier between you, Abby and the furry, aiming her gun at it as well for safe measure.

Your breath hitched as Mike ran forward and shot at the thing with a taser, but to no avail. The monster hardly even flinched, a menacing breath slipped out as it swatted the taser away as if it were a worthless fly. Mike swiftly backed away, almost in line with you and Abby before the creature kicked him to the floor.

“Now, this is priceless.” The creature taunted as it’s attention swerved to Vanessa who stood her ground in front of you, “A bit too old to be playing with toys, eh, Vanessa?”

“Dad, stop this. Just let them leave, please.” Vanessa glanced over her shoulder to Abby and you, giving a small, reassuring smile as she did.

Abby leapt out your arms and over to Mike, wrapped her arms around him and squeezing tight. You felt hot tears roll down your cheeks as you followed her, watching your brother writhe in pain. The room was void of all sound except breathing as you and your baby sister attempted to wake your brother up so you could run together.

Abby smiled softly as Mike’s eyes opened. In a gentle voice Mike began telling you two to hide. While you were all for taking your brother’s advice, all Abby wanted to do was stay and help him get better.

Without hesitation, you grabbed Abby and began pulling her out the way. You yelped as you heard an argument break out between the Rabbit and Vanessa, ending in Vanessa’s gun being fired and a loud thud, which you hoped and prayed was the robot.

“Where do you two think you’re going.?” The Rabbit yelled out.

You spun around and glared at the robot before taking off down a hall, practically pulling Abby behind you.

A glimpse of metal on the wall caught your eye as you looked around. A vent. Rushing over, you tore the vent cover off the wall, letting the loose screws fly across the floor. As the vent cover hit the floor, you instinctively turned away. The vibrant smell of mildew and blood flowed through and filled the hallway.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Your heart raced as you heard the screws shake and swivel with each step that thing took. Making it’s tauntingly slow approach to you and Abby.

You hurried Abby into the vent and told her to get to the security office and lock the door, assuring her you’d be right behind her the whole way.

Thump, thump, thump.

Its pace quickened as it reached the corner.

Abby’s voice called out for you, bringing you out of your stunned state and causing you to get on your knees and start crawling.

“Not so fast~”

Abby shot around as she heard your scream. Fear was prominent in her watery eyes as she watched the robot pull you back out. She crawled quickly over to you and grabbed your hand, trying to pull you back in.

“Abby, I-I’ll be fine, get to the office and throw things against the door- do not let anyone in!”

“But-”

“Go to the security room now!”

Her eyes welled with tears as she watched her sibling let go of her hand and be dragged off by some golden suited freak. As worried as she was, she knew you had the right idea. Abby hurriedly scampered off to the office and left you to your fate.

~~~~

“You’re a pretty little thing, aren’t you?” He growled into your ear. With his mask off, you could see him properly. Ocean blue eyes, messy greying hair, if it weren’t for the scenario you would’ve been mesmerised by this man.

The situation hit you as you felt his hand trail down your body, outlining your figure and pinning you down under his body. You felt the coarse fabric rub against your hips and thighs as he lifted your clothes to ‘feel’ your skin.

Your breathing constricted even more as he leaned down, his heavy suit adding pressure to your chest, with his lips hovering above yours.

It was difficult for you to even think of what was going through his mind as he pinned you there for what seemed like hours.

“Get the fuck off me!” You barked out in a small, wheezy voice.

“Ooh, feisty as well as pretty, I love that. I’ll have fun putting you in your place.”

A shiver ran up your spine as he spoke. Despite how absolutely mortified you are at the moment, pinned to the floor beneath a murderer who is set on ending you and your family, you noticed a warmth building inside your core.

“Y’know,” his lips slowly teased your own as he let them drag across your skin all the way down to your jaw. He slowly sat up and straddled you.

Suddenly, the lining of your jeans was lifted, two fingers slipped down to tug on the hem of your underwear. The bunny-man trailed his robotic fingers across your body, from your crotch to your chest only to rest on your chin. His grip tight around your jaw as he pulled you close enough to feel his breath on your face.

“I think I’ll keep you.”

~~~~~~

2/12/23 Saturday 05:59

[rafedaddy01]

a request!! love your writing bebsss ❤️✨

rafe cameron x f!reader where reader has many insecurities abt her body and she cries to sarah abt them but she doesnt tell her that she has been starving herself, until a pool party where she and rafe are invited where she faints after not having eaten in days and then rafe is like super worried and fluffy and he is taking her to the hospital bc she doesnt wake up. when theyre at the hospital they tell him that she doesnt have food in her system and he is like super worried and when she wakes up he is so happy and he talks to her abt it and tells her how much he loves her and how beautiful she is and maybe she takes her home and it ends with smut? thank you!! ❤️❤️

Notes: aww, thank you so much babes. Sorry it took a while to get this to you

You stood in front of the mirror, examining your body. You hated the way you looked. Too much, too little, you could never get the perfect body like all the other girls you saw. You heaved a great sign and put on the baggy sweater over your scrawny body and a pair of black leggings. You and Sarah were meeting tonight and you were a little never because you haven’t seen her in a while.

“Hey!” The bright girl beamed at you as you walked into her bedroom. “Oh my god I missed you!” She said tossing her perfectly tanned arms around your skinny body. “I missed you too” you said wrapping her in a hug.

“Hey.. you doin okay?” She said scrunching her eyebrows as she examined your baggy eyes that drooped with exhaust.

“I-I’m fine” you said feeling the tears starting.

“Y/n” Sarah said in a tone that meant she knew something was up and she demanded an answer.

You sighed. You wanted to tell her, tell her everything. How you were starving yourself for weeks now, how you haven’t slept because your stomach would hurt form being deprived food and how you’d cry almost every hour of the day. You couldn’t hold on anymore and broke down hysterically.

Sarah wrapped her arms around you as you rested your head on her shoulder and stained her dress in tears. “I-I’m s-sorry” you hiccuped as tears and snot surfaced your face and Sarah’s dress.

“Shhh, it’s okay. Just tell me what’s wrong” she said.

“I-I’ve just been struggling. I can’t help but feel ugly. I see all these pretty girls with perfect body’s and when I look in the mirror I hate myself and the way I look. I-I just don’t know what’s wrong with me!” You said in almost one breath as more tears streamed down your face.

You decided not to tell her how you’ve been starving yourself and throwing up so your body doesn’t gain calories because you didn’t want to be judged. Sarah most likely wouldn’t, but it was just a dirty secret you didn’t want exposed. She had a perfect body, she wouldn’t understand..

“Hey! There’s nothing wrong with you. Your perfect the way you are, do you hear me? Your beautiful and strong and my brother is madly in love with you! Im so glad you could open up to me about this, but I don’t want you to hate yourself, I love you y/n and you need to start learning to love yourself, I’ll help you with whatever you need” she smiled as she stroked your back and comforted you.

The rest of the night was spent with Sarah comforting you and watching movies and snacking on ice cream and junk food. It was the most food you’ve eaten in days, you felt disgusted with yourself but you didn’t want Sarah to think something was up so you ate little by little.

The next day Rafe and you were invited to a pool party at toppers house, you spent the day with Sarah and when night came the two of you changed into swimsuits and met Rafe downstairs so you all could drive over to toppers.

“You look beautiful my love” Rafe said leaning over the console and placing a kiss to your cheek just as you all pulled up to toppers. “Ew, get a room you too” Sarah said opening the back door and walking away. You and Rafe laughed as you climbed out of the car and Rafe intertwined your fingers and walked to the pool.

You felt guilty having these insecurities when you had such a thoughtful man that loved you. You hadn’t eaten all week, besides for the junk food binge you had with Sarah, but that wasn’t enough to fill you up. At this point you trained your stomach not to grumble but you felt hunger you just ignored it.

Rafe went to mingle and you were left standing by the pool with a drink in hand. The music was loud and suddenly your vision blurred the voices and music distorted as your eyes rolled back and you plunged into the pool infront of you. The rest was a blur

You woke up in the hospital, confused. Rafes intense gaze held yours and your heart sank at the worry on this man’s face, the man you loved. All that guilt came rushing back. “W-what happened?” You croaked out as your throat itched

Rafe stood up and placed a straw in front of your lips encouraging you to take small sips. “Thank you” you said.

“You fainted y/n, doctor said you’d be fine but..” he said as he stared at you with so much love and concern

“But what?” You said.

“He said you have to stop starving yourself” Rafes voice was so quiet you almost didn’t hear him “why y/n? I don’t understand.. is- is it something I did or do?” Rafe struggled to understand

“No Rafe, I love you. And I’m sorry I worried you, I’m sorry I let it get this far. I-I just..” you didn’t know how to make him understand

“I just, sometimes I hate the way I look. I look in the mirror and I’m disgusted, I starve myself because I hate myself, my body” you said with a lump in your throat

Rafe rushed to your side and cupped your face as his thumb wiped the tears off your cheeks.

“Baby, I love you. I love you so so much, and I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there for you, I’m sorry I didn’t know you were feeling this way. I never want you to think about yourself like that” he kissed your lips softly as a sob escaped your lips. He pressed your body against his chest and you cried, but you also felt relief. The doctor eventually came and explained some things that might help and discharged you with Rafes promise of taking care of you and making sure you eat.

The two of you went home and Rafe made you some chicken noodle soup, he fed you and cuddled you into bed. The two of you watched a movie in each others arms.

Rafe ran his fingers up and down your arm, he left kisses on your neck that had your body heating up.

Your cheeks flushed as his kisses became more aggressive, leaving some marks and bites.

The next thing you knew Rafes head was under the covers and his lips were wrapped around your clit as your body squirmed and your mouth said such profanities you’d only hear in a porno.

He made you cum so hard with his tongue and planted kisses up your stomach to your face “I’m gonna show you just how sexy your body is” he said as he slipped free of his sweats and discarded the rest of your clothes.

Rafe had a mirror placed perfectly at the bed and he propped you up so he was behind you and your face was facing the mirror “watch how beautiful you are y/n” Rafe whispered as he stroked your back and rubbed his tip against your folds.

“Fuck” you said under your breath as he slowly pushed inside you.

Rafe groaned as he halted, balls deep. Only to retract and slam back into you. “Shitttt” he groaned “holy fuck y/n, you feel so good”

“Fuck! Rafe!” You moaned as you watched him pound into you from behind in the mirror.

He spent the rest of the night showing you how gorgeous you were and worshipping your body in extravagant ways. You vowed never to starve yourself again unless you wanted to limp for days, because Rafe would show you just how much he appreciated your body with his fingers, mouth and cock.

You promised him that if you ever had thoughts of starving yourself or any hateful feelings towards yourself that you’d talk to him about it. Your heart swelled at the love you had for this man, he was perfect for you and you him. He’d always be there for you and you felt guilty for ever thinking he’d judge you for your insecurities. He meant every word he said about being there for you and worshipping you, he never stopped showing his love for you.

Rafe Cameron was madly in love with you and you were madly in love with him.

He’d spend the rest of his years proving to you that your worth it, and he did good to his promise. He will never stop loving you.

“I fucking love you” he groaned as his hips rutted into you and he released his love deep inside you, it wasn’t about rough sex for Rafe anymore. He spent time with you and he made love to your body.

@f4ll-for-you @v21sstuff @rafeysworldim19 @baby19sthings @eventualoptimism

[jinnify]

love bomb — lee heeseung

pairing: heeseung x reader genre: fluff warnings: cursing i think and idk if there's mention of 'y/n' word count: 0.7k now playing: giddy by kep1er author's note: interrupting our regularly scheduled program to post this cute heeseung one shot bc blonde heeseung brain rot ^^

You exaggeratedly sighed as you noticed Heeseung walk into your living room from his trip to the restroom. Lately, he had been busier than usual, practice picking up again for comeback promotions. Although he'd try to call you every break he got, it was often too late into the night. Today was one of his few off days. He'd called you early in the morning, hurriedly explaining that he was already en route to your apartment.

When you heard your doorbell ring, you expected endless kisses and cuddles. Not for Heeseung to kiss your cheek as he flew by you and directly to your couch. It had been about five hours since then, and in that amount of time, he'd barely spoken to you, too engrossed in the game on the screen in front of him. This brings you to your current predicament, increasingly obnoxiously sighing until Heeseung noticed you were there.

You were getting upset at this point. You don't see Heeseung for two weeks, and instead of him being happy to see you, he's elated to see your PlayStation! This was an injustice. You felt neglected and annoyed. You put down the book you were pretending to read as an idea came to mind. You would not say TikTok is the best place to go for solutions, but you were getting desperate.

And you had recently forgotten your password to Pinterest.

Whatever. Don't knock it ‘till you try it. 

You typed “how to get my boyfriend's attention” into the search bar, immediately bombarded by cringy forty-year-olds making fake scenarios and teenagers giving awful relationship advice. With an unconscious scrunch of the nose, you closed the app, regretting asking TikTok for help. At this point, you were just plain bored. What fun is it to have your boyfriend over if you aren't going to spend the time together?

Heeseung would have said you were spending time “together” if you had said that out loud. You scrolled for hours, only looking up from your phone whenever Heeseung repositioned himself before a new match started. Your scrolling continued until you came across a post, a woman making little “coupons” for whenever she wanted something from her husband. A dozen little papers, each with requests and “discount” written on them, were folded up into little stars for her husband to pick at random. You could always count on Instagram for two things, stolen content and cheesy couple ideas. This post is both.

Although it was a cheesy and borderline cringey idea, you liked it. Let's say it's the hopeless romantic in you. So, you got up in search of color construction paper. You were only going to be making one to save yourself some pride. You found one in the perfect shade of pink, grabbing a red glitter pen and a pair of scissors on your way to your kitchen table.

You quickly cut and decorated it, writing “two hours of cuddle time!” in big, bold, glittery letters. It was honestly cute. You held the small paper up, admiring your beautiful penmanship before making your way to the living room, holding it behind your back.

“Hey, baby,” Heesung quickly greeted, never taking his eyes off the screen. You rolled your eyes as you stood to the side, hoping he’d ask you what you were doing. “Ahem!” you cleared your throat, trying to catch his attention again.

When all Heeseung did was nod, you huffed, slamming the coupon onto his chest, giving up, and stomping to your room. Heeseung quickly said goodbye to his friends, grabbing the small paper that had fallen off the floor.

To say he felt guilty was an understatement.

He walked over to your room after turning off your console, knocking softly. “Go away! You missed your opportunity, loser!” You belatedly added the petty insult, assuring  Heeseung that you weren’t too angry at him, just slightly annoyed. “I’m sorry, my love. Let me in, and you can finally get those cuddles you wanted!” 

“Hm, that sounds tempting! But it’s not enough! You had to say sorry and stay over tonight if you wanna be forgiven!” you shouted, hoping he’d agree. “That sounds good, baby. Now let me in before I break down this door,” Heeseung playfully threatened, jiggling the doorknob aggressively.

You were greeted by Heeseung’s gorgeous smile, “I’d like to redeem this, please.” He handed you the coupon you had made, scooping you into his arms and carrying you over to your bed. “Now, we’re gonna lay here and cuddle for the next two hours! And you’re gonna like it!” You scoffed, “Hey! You were the one who ignored me for almost six hours!”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I got carried away, but I promise I’m all yours until tomorrow.”

© jinnify — reblogs appreciated

[v3nusxsky]

emily prentiss x pregnant!bau!reader ;; she gets a pos pregnancy test after a few rounds of ivf with emily, but she never got to tell her because she only found out a week after her “death”. (no one knows r’s pregnant only hotch bc of a cryptic pregnancy🤫) and when she comes to work, she sees emily, alive as ever— r’s mad and makes no move to talk to em. emily corners r in the coffee room, forcing her to talk to her and all r says is that the ivf didn’t take. a few hours later, r notices her 7month checkup is in a few minutes, she takes emily with her without telling her wehere they’re going.

- 🐦

Emery Faye

*Authors note~ omg I love this sm and it's something that's not normally spoken of much so I hope I handled it okay*

Trigger warnings~ cryptic pregnancy angst Emily "death" mentioned

Prompt~ see ask^^^^^

A baby was always something you and Emily wanted. So when you're first few rounds of IVF failed naturally you were disheartened. Emily had told you of her past and how she didn't want to go through pregnancy again. That was fine by you, you loved the idea of carrying your child for the pair of you, and giving your wife a child to love and care for. It was a long shot, you knew that but you both weren't ready to give up on the idea of a baby.

Until that day, where Doyle stole Emily from you. Her life taken, leaving you widowed. That was five months ago. During, you got depressed and it seemed like the IVF had failed, after all nothing was amiss with your body. You felt like you'd failed Emily by not bringing her child into the world. No you couldn't even get pregnant and now she was gone all because of some serial theorist asshole who wanted revenge on your wife.

Your depressed state was causing your physical, mental and emotional health to deteriorate and fast. You knew you were spiralling downwards with no end in sight, all you wanted was your wife, yet she was gone just like the idea of starting a family. Therefore, you felt as if your purpose in life had died with your lovely Emily.

Hotch was the one to drag to you the hospital, insisting on a check up as he could see how badly you were doing and the guilt of knowing he was hiding Emily from you made him extra cautious with you. After all Emily asked about you all the time, JJ and Hotch filled her in and it was killing her from the inside. You were insistent that you were absolutely fine, no need for such a reaction when you were fine, grieving your wife but absolutely fine.

That was when they told you. You were pregnant. The round had worked, what a cruel coincidence. Emily wouldn't be around to see her child grow up and love them. But you would always tell them of her, and now you had your purpose. Obviously Hotch allowed you time to process the fact before adopting his practical ways of thinking. That was how you decided to hide the pregnancy from the team for as long as possible. Just wanting to bond with the baby and let the hurt and excitement settle down.

Seven months into your pregnancy you were glad your pregnancy was cryptic, it gave you more time to work out how to tell them, after all having a mini Emily could be rather traumatic for the team. Part of you hoped it was a boy to make things easier on others and part of you wanted a baby girl. Reminder of your late wife.

An emergency meeting at the round table was never good, but you weren't expecting to see a nervous looking Hotch and a guilty looking JJ. "Seven months ago I made a decision that impacted the whole team, as you know Emily-" the name came of your late wife causing you to blank out. Emily? And that's when you saw her in the doorway with a guilty and sad expression. "Sweetheart?" She murmured looking at you while the team all exploded in a flurry of emotions. "Heck yeah I got a problem with it" Derek raged, "I'm sorry truly you didn't deserve that" she murmured wrapping him in a warm hug.

Tears silently fell down your cheeks as you left the room, Hotch knew of course, you'd told him of your appointment and he guessed you'd function on autopilot so it was only natural that he sent Emily after you. Some time alone would do you both some good, and it would give you the opportunity to tell her about the baby.

Emily caught up to you, gently took your hand and allowed you to silently lead the way. In the car, Emily settled into the passenger side and allowed the silence to wrap around you both. Truly, there was so much she wanted to say to you but she knew you needed the time and space.

What shocked Emily was the fact you pulled up to the hospital, but she kept quiet just shooting you a questioning glance. The whole process went so much faster than you thought, maybe that's because you felt as if you'd joined another universe, your mind reeling as it attempted to take in the vital information, that Emily was indeed alive.

That was how you found yourself on the bed, the cool gel against your stomach as the babies heartbeat filled the room. "So you have a very healthy little one here, who's more than willing to show us what they are. Would you like to know?" The technician asked you and that was the first time you met Emily's eyes, "shall we?" With a stunned nod you were told that your baby was in fact a baby girl. "Emery Faye" you murmured reaching for Emily's hand. "It worked?" She whispered as if she was afraid it was all a dream. A teary nod was all you offered before both of you glued your eyes to the screen, as your baby wriggled around.

"She's got your nose Em" you giggled and your wife let out a laugh that you'd truly been missing. "I'm so sorry my sweetheart, I wanted to tell you but I couldn't risk him hurting you and now our baby girl" she murmured bringing a hand to your almost flat stomach. "It's cryptic Em, she will start to show more in a few weeks" her hand now laced yours as she came closer and to kiss you hesitantly. The first kiss of many to come. "Emery Faye? You remembered?" Emily whispered against your lips and you nodded. "I couldn't forget Em, I just can't believe you are really here. I just want you safe."

Word count~ 1149

[zzencat]

Weird (regarding final spouse reading)

tl;dr: felt a literal force sweeping through me when I was doing the reading

Guys, I know it’s been well over an hour since I posted it but I just can’t shake this feeling off. I’ve already asked another tarot reader if she’d ever had a similar experience and I’m still awaiting her answer

Pile 3 in the final spouse one actually flipped me over and roasted me like a pig over fire. Nah not actually but that’s my poor attempt at trying to lift the mood- imma ask for some extra protection just in case UNLESS they wanna reach out in a dream tonight

I literally felt a force go thru me- like fly thru me as I wrote the last few things for the last pile. It literally made me straighten up in my seat and my eyes widened in shock like “oo was I not supposed to touch that nerve?” Kind of guilty face.

No gust of wind could’ve gotten in my room and no fan was on

Suddenly, I was in an interrogation room with a pitifully looking boy, like looking beat up and tired- and the room was even clear until after I “regained” myself. I don’t wanna admit it but I’m lowkey scared.

The thing that flew thru was like a legless AND faceless grim reaper looking thing, almost like it was guarding the boy. It floated around him like a white fog… I don’t remember exactly what I was writing but I know it was near the end and that I wrote too much

It was the 3 of us amigos: the boy, Ghost friend, and me. I was in the lawyer seat and both of them were seated on the other side

It was only after I deleted something abt their “growing up” (notice how I can’t be using “adolescence” to describe it either—maybe think of it as lacking vocabulary…)

Shit…or maybe lacking vocabulary bc of poor education- orphanage?

Yk the image of a dark grey orphanage keeps showing up. I keep thinking about other circumstances (without trying to mention f*m*ly bc they seem super sensitive when hearing it so I’ll censor it) like the could’ve been’s or possible combinations but only that shows up

So a lot of emotional suppression it seems. It also seems to be less frightening when I address (this situation) with indirect words, bc perhaps the kid-them can’t put it together. Their comprehension at that age can’t be as well developed

I think you guys kind of get the point of where the hurt might be coming from for a certain pile. I feel very reluctant to addressing them directly. If they have memory loss, I’d prefer to say the pile at the top and then indirectly address them as I am writing this

There’s no way I’m trying to play around w spirits n stuff 😭

Maybe they’ll come back with a less ambushy kind of feel and I’ll talk to them. Maybe it was me for violating their privacy- IM SORRY PILE 3 spouse, I didn’t mean ill intent in any way. Maybe you feel that way.

I don’t know if I was talking to a reflection of this person’s younger self or their inner child (since it’s more gender inclusive)

Whoever this kid was, he could only nod, blink, and shake his head. His facial expression looked a combination of pitiful, wary, and asking for help. I can’t tell.

Thanks for listening guys, this…this has been probably one of the freakiest experiences of my life 🫠

[oh-saints]

PLEASEE PLease PLEASE more ruben fics i need more so im just gonna leave a request where — ruben and a shy reader?? like she doesnt really opens up to anyone unless they're close🙏

what the hell, anon??? do we share the same brain bcs i literally just thought of it when my bf was watching harold and kumar (i know, incomprehensive taste) beside me and there's an elevator scene that inspires me to go about my favourite this trope!!!

open

you really shouldn't judge the book by its cover, rúben learnt from her, and should instead try to open the first page. for you never know what the next page might bring.

rúben dias x neighbor!reader

word count: 2.9k

tw: speech impairment

note: hi, i'm back! beside the harold & kumar's elevator scene, this is also mildly inspired by blackpink's hard to love and katy perry's unconditional teheee but this time, i happen to write during work so ofc this is not beta-read.

today had been one hell of a day for rúben dias. nothing worked in his favour; his SUV broke down before he departed for training, resulting him arriving late and therefore scolded by pep. his team lost in the mini match, he had to stay late for the rehab because his physio-in-charge had a stomach bug.

he sighed, and anyone within distance would’ve recognised the heavy weight on the breath he let out.

he just wanted to lay down as soon as possible, to be honest. he didn’t even think of dining anymore, and that was saying something because he was known—and he stood by his principle—for being a straight-A athlete. he lives and breathes football and he intends to stick by his commitment as long as life allows him to.

just before the elevator doors closed, a hand dived in between the doors’ gap. precise movement, as fast as a ninja cut, but halting his final destination, nonetheless. why couldn’t whoever-it-was catch the next train?

but as the door opened once more, a woman walked in, heads down. ah, there she is, rúben only realised the current time had reached 7 p.m. because this particular, intriguing woman would always come up at this hour without a miss. and she’d always have her head down, not glancing anyone else in the elevator, let alone the usual neighbour greetings.

he wasn’t supposed to notice her; she looked like she’d rather blend herself to the wall. but he did. her paleness contrasted the bright modern layout of the posh apartment’s elevator, along with the lives the capsule brought up and down.

the footballer pressed for her floor before she could reach the button, as usual.

she’d look up to him in wonder—with her set of the clearest eyes rúben had ever seen yet he never knew what lied beneath the surface, and only the depths of the mediterranian sea reminded him of it—as he did so, as usual.

“12, right?”

she gave a tight smile that rúben somehow understood as her silent thank you and a nod, before going as far away as sparing the 3-feet distance between them. as usual.

sometimes he wondered why she cut off their interaction as cold as the iceberg ended the lives onboard on titanic. was she nervous? was it that hard for her to answer him? was he that hard to approach?

was she a criminal of some sort that was busy hiding in order for the police to not catch her?

he’d watched in one of those real-life cold-cases documentaries he loves to use as a lullaby that coldness, aloofness, detachment or anything in line could be an indicator. whether they felt guilty after committing their crime, whether they wanted to hide away their worldly sins, whether they’re pure psychotic that they’d do a random killing spree one night for fun.

rúben badly wanted to convince himself that she wasn’t of his last depiction but he remembered what happened to ted bundy’s victim—may they rest in peace. he’d have to search for a good opportunity after calling a private investigator or something.

＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊

another evening, another elevator ride with the same neighbour of his.

another day of him pressing for her floor, another day of her giving him a curt nod before backing herself up against the corner.

it was supposed to be another day for them, and rúben was more than ready to hit the sack. but life truly had its way for a plot twist even a blockbuster movie didn’t see coming.

being a footballer that had to stay alert of possibly everything, rúben opened his eyes as he heard a heavy intake of breath from somewhere on his right. a sound he never heard of, a sound he was most certainly had to have a double take to make sure his hearing wasn’t damaged.

he watched as she opened her mouth for a second before closing them again, certainly wanting to say something. then she took a moment of silent, possibly to rearrange what she was about to say. once she was done—or what he though was done, anyway—her mouth started to form a small O before slamming shut after five seconds. her head was shaking following another cancelled thought, and rúben swore he could practically feel the frustration she was exuding.

it reminded him of his old self, before the whole PR team back in benefica took over the wheel and taught him what and how to say things. so instead of being annoyed at her, rúben gave her space and time until she was ready. thank god he was towering the woman, who wasn’t small in general but still small compared to him, so she couldn’t see his repressed smile because weirdly enough, he found her endearing instead of infuriating like anyone else he was frustrated with.

“c-c-c-can you help me w-w-w-with something?”

the words slurred out of her voice box before her eyes could find the man that was all familiar to her but a stranger altogether. when she realised he’d been staring at her—at her disorganised self, that was pretty obvious—her head snapped back lightly in mild surprise. who wasn’t, when a beautiful man of that calibre had been staring at you?

but it actually wasn’t why rúben couldn’t keep his eyes off her. stunned would also be an understatement to describe what was happening underneath his skin.

yes, he was astounded by the fact that the neighbour that had been spiking his interest was finally talking to him. no more reserved, small smile she used to throw at him every other chance they’d been interacting. and she was finally looking up at him instead of darting her attention elsewhere whenever they shared the small confinement of an elevator.

but he was more surprised at the fact that he recognised she wasn’t simply nervous around him. he’d been around too many people to be able to spot on nerves shooting up one’s legs. what he sensed around her was a completely different, entirely new altogether.

and above all, the question that remained hanging on top of his head was; why now?

why did it take her a long while to finally muster up all the courage to spare him a glance, moreover to strike up a conversation first?

rúben couldn’t help his initial reaction of raising his brows, as if he was sceptical to the reality he was undergoing, instead of replying back. his response was met with her flashing what he recognised as regret before she looked away and shut her mouth again. and he knew he fucked up; she’d thought he was challenging her, speak one more time and you’re dead.

it wasn’t what he intended to come of as. he was simply tired of constantly fighting for his place at training, and the shock in his system hadn’t washed off since she’d dared herself to indulge him in the luxury of a conversation.

“yes, i’d like to help,” rúben spoke up before any misunderstanding took place between them, eyes were still zeroed on the woman. only then he took on her overall appearance, for they’d never been this close, and by god was she beautiful. “what do you need my help for?”

the woman looked up again to him, hopeful this time and no longer distressed, before biting her lips in a little bit of hesitance. not because of nervousness, he realised, but it was simply because she didn’t know where to start again.

and again, rúben waited for her patiently. hell, he’d waited on her far too long—even for something as simple as this—so he could certainly wait for some more.

he watched her as she opened and closed her mouth several times again—this time rúben was positive she was trying to rearrange whatever it was she wanted to say to him—before casting another glance up to him. and this time, nervousness was palpable in her face. weariness, too, and rúben couldn’t stop himself from smiling at the sight.

(although he tried to hypnosis himself that he smiled to ease off her jitters.)

this seemed to relax the tensed shoulders of hers. “i-i-i-i need help t-t-t-to change my lamp.”

bingo.

every of his remaining suspicion was now struck down, only leaving him with the answers to all of his silent question.

he’d guess on she wasn’t mute. if she was, she’d have to suffer from deafness, too, or at least hearing impairment, and she wouldn’t be able to interact with people without her hearing aid. of which, was non-existent as far as rúben’s peripheral vision might go.

he’d guess on she was a selective mute, this much was also spot on. what his shot strayed on was how she chose to be mum not because she’d killed someone, but because she was unable to.

all the sudden, rúben got reminded of one particular kid he’d gotten fortunate enough to meet during city’s annual christmas hospital visit. it was like yesterday when the kid said thank you endlessly that day before the day ended, for listening attentively without rushing the kid to speak clearly and fluently. at first rúben was surprised how that was enough of a reason for the abundance of gratitude thrown at him, but later he realised that everyone else had reached their boiling point while waiting for the kid to finish his broken sentences.

only then did he realise his mysterious neighbour was only doing whatever best under her limited condition to survive without hindering anyone else’s life.

she must’ve practiced silence for such a long time now, and for reasons such as survival mode in this cruel world where her condition is deemed a shame. where people would rather not hear her kind to speak because they were slow at it, and would rather belittle something she surely didn’t ask for when she was born.

how wrong of him to assume she was a criminal on a runaway.

“sure, have you bought the light bulb already?”

she nodded, lips still pursed tightly, before rolling her eyeballs up towards the ceiling. upstairs, he’d gathered.

“excellent,” this time, admiration and respect was the reason behind his enormous smile. “lead the way.”

he really should stop watching too many crime documentaries on netflix.

＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊

as soon as she was done showing her neighbour his temporary place of work, she dashed for the fridge. she was perched, for lack of words, because it’d been a long while since the last time she had to wreck her brain for a simple, humane interaction.

ironic because it was imprinted in every human’s brain that they are a social figure, thus needing to interact with other people. ironic because her line of work required her to interact with people on a daily basis, even though she was hidden behind the magic screen of a computer.

she hadn’t realised up until now how much grateful she was to the silver screen, for she didn’t have to disclose the one thing she detested about herself. for it hid her from the harsh reality she was bound to have due to her condition. for it saved her from the judgemental looks people would throw at her.

she was sure she was content with her life, bar the defect in her DNA, so why did she decide, of all day today, that she needed his help for such a simple task?

right, because she didn’t have a ladder and forgot to buy one on her way back home.

but she could’ve gone back outside to the store on the corner of the street instead of asking the one neighbour she had always seen after a long day of working. she could’ve asked anyone else but him. the security guard, the firefighter—anyone else that was in the line of work to help people, not him.

especially not him, when it meant she would bare herself open to someone she barely knew outside the fact that he was tall and smelled so damn fresh like he just washed himself after a long day of swimming in the sea water. especially not him, when it meant her old disease of stuttering would come back haunting her every time she was nervous.

and god, was she nervous. how could she not when he looked like the closest thing to adonis if such figure descended mount olympus?

but still, despite all, why did she still choose to uncover the grounds she was content on burying herself with?

was it his eyes? was it because she grew accustomed to his silent presence in the elevator? was it because she recognised no hint of judgement exuding from him when she let out the secret she least loved to reveal?

“it’s done,” the man was seriously done with work, by the way he was back donning his brick red coats. a lovely colour to his skin, she realised. another point plus, she also noted, for a man to know well how to dress. “is there anything else you need help with?”

her apartment was fairly large, especially when she only lived here on her own, but with him in the room, it felt small all the sudden. but not the suffocating kind of small, just that the space turned to be full with his presence. but instead of feeling intimidated, she felt welcomed.

weird because this was her house, her abode, her home. yet she was the one who felt welcomed instead of the other way around.

“um—n-n-no. i’m sorry again if i disturb your time, being busy and all,” it surprised her that it only took a grand total of 30 minutes of interaction for her—physically and mentally, she noted—to feel ease around him, which was apparent by the lack of stutters and was now replaced by the signature ummm everyone likes to have at the beginning of her sentences. “but i was hoping if i—um—can repay you after doing me a favour?”

“you really don’t need—”

the man shook his head as he shifted his weight to his other leg. the movement felt so natural, like he belonged here, and it dizzied her head because this was starting to feel unrealistic. there was no way she could warm up so easily to a good-looking guy that dressed well and smelled excellent and acted like those boyfriends you only see on novel books.

and for the love of god, did she love the smell lingering in the air from his perfume. it was intoxicating, as if he himself in flesh and blood didn’t stir headaches for anyone with vagina walking down the street. yet she craved for more, making her not wanting him to leave the perimeter of her house. like he’d permeated the space and marked it no longer hers.

funny how the concept of being close had a different meaning now to her, literally and figuratively. she really shouldn’t have opened the door to her home.

it honestly caught her off guard when he showed his initial reaction. she’d mastered the art of being rejected by people who i) think she’s a freak, ii) think she’s useless, iii) think she’s a hassle, iv) think she’s frustrating as she can’t get words straight to the point, and/or v) all of the above. the better part of her condition was also double-edged sword; when people think of her as a charity case, for it was only then when people understood her limitation.

being unfazed with her disability—there, that’s the word—was definitely something rare in her world.

must be the eyes, she convinced herself, because she knew deep down it didn’t take einstein to deduct the real reason behind her unpredictable habit of opening up to this man—whose name she still hadn’t figured out—was her very last justification.

after days of observation, she somehow managed to conclude he wasn’t the type to blabber his mouth somewhere else about the embarrassing neighbour that sounded ridiculous whenever she spoke. he was the type to keep everything to himself, unless he was allowed to or unless the government made him to. for that alone, it was enough of a reason for her to come out of the shell she’d been hiding under, no matter how insane it sounded because they didn’t know each other’s name.

for she knew she could be herself and he wouldn’t mind at all.

“p-p-please,” another breather because goddamn, this is a lot to take in. “i—um—i insist.”

“okay, if you say so,” his head tipped lightly at her admission, lips slowly tugging a smirk out of its hiding place. satisfaction plastered on his face and she swore she could’ve been melting on the floor if she wasn’t holding the edge of the kitchen counter. and still, strangely enough, she wouldn’t mind him seeing her turning into a puddle. “i’m allowed to take you out for a dinner then.”

of all things he could say to reply her goodwill request, a dinner wasn’t in the list of her prediction.

“w-w-why?”

it didn’t take a genius to know it was the multi-million loaded question; why me?

and this was precisely why rúben asked her out in the first place because in rúben’s defence, why not?

why not her? was there anything wrong with her?

did she believe something’s wrong with her when he found her perfectly interesting?

“because i like you and i’d like to know you better,” her eyes shot up so fast at his admission, indescribable disbelief glazed over the set of orbs rúben for sure would like to stare all night long if he had the chance. “if you’ll let me, that is, of course.”

who was she to deny when he asked to come in to her home so nicely like that?

[miraculous-pyxie]

marinette headcanon time

marinette’s knees are filled with little scars and long-term bruises from how many time she falls over 

she carries a very cute first aid kit in her backpack just in case her skin breaks or if she needs a quick ice pack (those lil crack and shake things that get really cold)

marinette became the go to person when somebody got hurt is phys ed when the teens were younger. she eventually got first aid certified.

 marinette used to carry a bit more weight (you see her parents genetic make up) but from becoming ladybug she burns a lot of calories/fat from running around all day. to keep people/parents from getting suspicious, she starts running which keeps her even more in shape.

little marinette got into sewing because her mom always needed to repair her clothes from the rips and tears they would get from her falling over. she felt guilty about it so she said that she would do it. her mom taught her then she started teaching herself

I love the idea that Adrien and Marinette get stronger and more flexible from using the miraculous. Adrien has an excuse that this is how he needs to look for modeling (everyone believes that) but marinette has less of an excuse so she has to flub saying she started going to the gym and attempt to become less clumsy. not wanting it to be a lie, she starts going to a gym once a week for an hour (this is where she does her runs instead).

marinette meditates with her mom whenever she’s stressed and gets lightly told off when she starts fidgeting too much

along with Tikki’s cookies, marinette keeps a stash of protein shakes and protein bars in her room

 marinette has ADHD so she is prone to zoning out and has accidentally zoned out in someone’s direction before then zones back in and profusely apologizes for ”staring” at them

marinette will hyperfocus on a project for hours and she has almost missed patrol several times because of it.

adding onto that, she will sometimes be working till 3 am so getting up at 7 am for school is really hard. (delayed sleep phase syndrome let’s goooo)

on top of that, coffee is her best friend. not because of the energy boost but it keeps her focused in school. (Alya doesn’t know about the ADHD at first and thinks her best friend has a severe coffee addiction)

from becoming ladybug, Marinette has actually gotten very coordinated.  she was very clumsy as a kid, but now it only spikes when she feels emotionally vulnerable. (i.e. around Adrien, when she’s nervous)

 Adrien is Marinette’s first big crush  so for the first few weeks marinette actually was really uncomfortable. she was having an internal battle of never feeling something like a crush before and also beating herself up over the idea that this might be a celebrity crush and she’s just a crazy fan

i saw this somewhere else but marinette doesn’t like horror movies not because they scare her but because they are underwhelming to her. mari and the gang will be having a movie night and she’ll just sit their with her arms crossed and say “I’ve seen worse.” and alya nino and adrien will just looked at her absolutely baffled. (even though adrien is chat noir, he’s had less exposure to scary things growing up)

adding onto that, marinette 100% had unrestricted internet access as a kid but she does not let it show

Marinette doodles on her skin in pen and one time she was drawing on her arm in red pen in class and an akuma related explosion happened really close. The pen exploded all over her skin and it looked like she had just killed someone.

marinette wanted to join the costume department for theater but because of her crammed schedule she can’t do it. everyone is confused as to why she doesn’t bc she’s perfect for it.

marinette matches the color of her hair ties to her outfit

marinette is better at listening to people in chinese then speaking or writing it

marinette actually gets along with her grandma really well and that’s why her grandma knew exactly what bike to get her

even though Marinette’s focus is in high fashion, she loves learning about streetwear and street fashion in places like Japan and the US

she is an absolute force to be reckoned with when she’s being stubborn about something 

she indulges in the confidence that being ladybug gives her from time to time so when chloe is back on her bs she claps back better than the last time

 a personal retcon is she gets a hold of her boy crazy-ness after the first few weeks. (the show really did her dirty on this like stalking? stealing? they should not be promoting that behavior to kids tbh)

marinette wears her new designs to school. she also secretly has a commission style business (so she can keep on top of orders bc she is just 1 person)

all and all, she is a little frazzled gremlin and i wish we got more of that blunt ,frazzled, always-busy, gremlin side of her

that’s all i can think of for now :)

[aq2003]

yeah i'm watching the 5 hour chibnall era hate video essay rn and while i do think it gets very nitpicky at moments it actually does a lot in pointing out what i unconsciously felt about some of the episodes feeling dull and the companions feeling flat but couldn't put it into words. in multiple instances i think chibnall is struggling to juggle this many companions and fit them into the story. and i can't help but think about broadchurch and how it juggled a whole TOWN of characters; just how well constructed s1 was where every person feels like a suspect for the murder so you're paying attention to all that happens on screen and every action they take may or may not make them seem more guilty. ntm hardy and miller as the leads are by far the most interesting characters; they have the most compelling dynamic in the show, olivia colman and david tennant have fantastic chemistry, they're so fun to watch bc their work relationship is initially built on them dislike/disrespect but we see them grow to genuinely care about each other over the course of the story. i think chibnall as a writer isn't suited for the story he tried to tell with thirteen and her gang bc he wasn't willing to take risks and have the relationships between thirteen yaz ryan and graham be unique and compelling in a way nuwho hasn't done before