#for legal reasons this is mostly a joke but FUCK off of here

[jitterbugbear]

if you're mean to me on my text posts i will murder you<3 don't be that person<33 i have access to a chainsaw

[gremlingottoosilly]

[If you need to be mean] chapter 2

Chapter 1

Konig decided to meet his new favorite civilian at the cafe you work at. Unfortunately for both of you, you're both socially awkward. TW: Konig being a huge pervert, Canon-Typical violence, Dub-Con, Innocence kink, Age difference(Konig in his yearly 40, Reader in young 20)

Pairing: Konig x fem!Reader Tags: Fluff, Power Imbalance, Hurt/Comfort, Size Kink, Possessive Konig, Yandere Konig, Creepy scary stalker Konig, written mostly from Konig's perspective

— Did something good happen, colonel? You are practically shining. 

Horangi always had this special ability of telling nonsense with the most serious face and deep voice. He also was the only one in his unit to ever be brave enough to joke with his superior – even though all the other KorTac members usually don’t risk their asses to be put on fire list because of some silly joke. He is the closest König has to a friend – and it’s kinda sad, actually, that a broken gambling addict is the only person who can read his emotions so well, even with his hood and permanently sour expression. 

But something good did happen – you happen, of course. 

He spend a few days of self-reflecting, drinking and punching training manekens in the gym, trying so fucking hard to put your adorable civillian face out of his mind. You were out of sight alright, but the way your features would get distorted into something even more adorable every time he closed his eyes, was concerning. He dealt with those little obsessions before – nothing that a few good rounds of jerking off until he would feel nothing but emptiness and hatred to himself couldn’t handle. He surely can’t fall that deep down, he only saw you for like an hour and it was literally three days ago! 

— I read your reports about the last terrorist encounter. Good job, Horangi. 

— And I heard about that civilian girl you pulled, sir. Thought we are bringing those to the police, not their houses. 

— I had to make sure she wasn't a spy. 

— And she wasn’t? 

König thinks – would be far easier if he would have an official, legal reason to keep you locked up on the base without the right to come out. Would be far easier for him to just think about you as an enemy, so he would have normal reasons for thinking about you constantly, and not feeling guilty. It’s normal to think so much about your enemies – this is what keeps you alive on the field, if you can determine their shortcomings early and make sure that you can fight them. He would love having you as an enemy – it would at least give him some info before starting obsession over little ol’ you. 

— No. 

— That would give us at least some lead to the terrorist cell. Feels like all locals are protecting them from it. 

— I understand your frustration. But at least they are not cutting our pay. 

— We might as well rebel if they’d try to. 

— We are not stepping on terrorist’s route. 

— I was joking, sir. Only thing that’s left here except for card games. 

Horangi hates stationing in this country as much as König is – and, given that he is a sergeant and doesn’t have as much rank expectations, can talk about this openly. This operation is perfect except for the lack of intel, lack of action and lack of basically anything to do – the local forces are handling minor threats, while mercs here are mostly to show off how the government has money to hire them. KorTac would pay for actually having to fight some bad guys around here – but the bigger ones are hiding and lower ones are already getting tracked down by the local military. 

The only interesting thing to do, seemingly, is to obsess over local girls – and König thought he is better than this. 

But he isn’t losing sleep over thinking about how scared and fragile you looked that night. Especially not even going to think about how adorable your little pout was, and the way your hands were trembling. He definitely doesn't want to know every tiny detail about your life, what you like and what you hate, what is your favorite position in bed and the color of underwear you are currently wearing – or even if you are wearing one. And he isn’t some sort of creep that would spend an obnoxiously long amount of time registering on social media – god, he is too old for this shit, it literally feels even more humiliating than his whole school experience – just so he can find your accounts and get instant masturbation material. 

You really shouldn’t post so much half-naked photos – yes, this is a reel from your last summer vacation and yes, this swimsuit looks beautiful on you, but have you ever considered that some creep(not someone like him, he is palming himself very respectfully) would use those photos as a way to get themself off? Terrible, scary, he can’t wait for you to post some new photos – maybe in something that he would buy you, way skimpier and more expensive, so he could protect you from those people. 

He looks at your posts about work – and he hates this stupid blue bird app because it never works for him, always filled with some assholes who are trying to argue with literally everyone, and the way he can’t even see your posts properly because of the weird ads. No, he doesn’t need a “Thing that would make your dick longer” he literally has a problem with making it smaller. No, he doesn’t need some dumb T-shirt even though he kinda reflects with the funny pun about pokemons and would love to wear something containing his major interest even though it would look ridiculous on a 6 '10 killing machine. 

But König reads all of your short posts about the way you hate working in customer service, and his hand is almost slipping to the ad about wedding rings. You hate your job, he hates his – practically soulmates, even though he doesn’t really hate the killing part of his employment, he just doesn’t want to be in charge of people and making them steal the fun of destroying. He would, however, agree to get as many ranks as possible if that would mean providing for you. If that would allow him to be by your side and listen to your sweet voice, he would agree for the next promotion even if higher ups would want him to make some PR wawes and become a fucking fashion model. 

But he is completely sane about you. Totally normal. Absolutely nothing is wrong with him when he can’t even think about visiting you in real life, but he leaves a like on every of your posts in every social media he has – you have terrible online safety habits by the way, he can already see what the inside of your apartment looks like, your place of work from three different angles, and how the front door of your apartment is held together by a very easy to destroy lock. He could snatch it in one deliberate kick, not even speaking about just shooting it. Not like he would need to, he wants you to be with him willingly. Or, at least, don’t fight him too much in case he would actually lose his patience and do something drastic. 

It has already been three days and he feels like he is going crazy. He had those things before, overthinking about tiniest details in someone he never truly knew, but even then he’d understand that he can’t be with them – it could be his school crushes that were, ironically, crushed because of his anxiety. It might be some casual flings with his fellow soldiers that would either get killed in the field or never happen because it would be fraternization. Some random people he saw at the airport and already imagined life with multiple kids and a dog. He always knew he had a problem – but it was never like this before. Never dangerous. 

The problem is – he knows that he can have you. 

Maybe not in a traditional way, he doubts that you would just marry him on the spot, but he can court you at least. He can shower you with gifts or ridiculous tips at your job, he can just snatch you away and leave you as his perfect little bedmate. He can make his men kidnap you, and while it is inhumane and you don’t deserve this, he would calm you down – and then have his happily ever after. 

He knows that he can have you – and it drives him crazy. He could stop himself previously, when he didn’t have anything for himself to be considered desirable – but now, with his rank and all the new opportunities and money it brings, he can’t stop but fantasize. 

You under him, panting and blushing, lips puffy from kisses, skin glazed from sweat and marked with his teeth.

You under him, so wonderfully tight, not letting him go even for an inch – and you are perfectly taking him, no matter how gigantic he is. 

You under him, smiling, cuddling after a long night – every night after a mission, where he could spend his free time deep in your body, listening to your melodic moans and little whines. 

You under…

— Can I…can I take your order, sir? 

He is a disgusting human being because lives of thousand people are on a stake, he would just doom them all if he wouldn’t find those terrorists soon – and he wastes time on sitting in this tiny ass cafe, trying to place himself on the small seat while being all too nervous to just talk to you. Like a person. Of course he had to go to your shift – he already determined which days you were working because it increased the number of angry “I hate my job and want to kill my manager” posts on that dumb social media, and he knows which hours you work at – of course it’s almost night time, the closing shift, because he simply can’t have himself not worry about you. 

He is a creep, weirdo and all that words in a song that he’s been blasting in his tiny headphones all of these days because he can smell the sweetness of your perfume and the way you are munching on the pen you are using to write his order. Oh, yes, order. He is supposed to order something, he can’t just give you money for how adorable you look in that white apron – even though you are absolutely stunning and should get money. 

God, he would murder everyone in this building just for them to never look at your legs again. 

God, he would bury himself between them if only you’d allow him to.

— Sir, is everything okay? 

He served in the military for far longer that you lived, probably. Most of his life, he got used to being referred to as something honorable, or referring to other people like that – and he never thought that just being referred to as “sir” would make his dick twitch in his pants. He crosses his legs, hoping not to get too imposing – he already towers over the tiny table like a giant he is, barely even fitting in it. He thinks he has a healthy amount of self-control – then he looks at you again, and thanks all the gods he knows for the mask he is wearing – at least under the black surgeon piece and dark glasses you won’t really see his blush. Or that little twitching in his eyes that is indicating danger. 

— Sorry, I…can I, um, have a coffee? Bitte…please, I mean. 

He hates how nervous he is – like high school again, asking his crush out just to be ridiculed. But you look perfect like this – controlled environment, you can’t just laugh at him and say that he is a weird nerd from another class, you have a manager who is controlling of such behavior. He would never tell on you, of course, he wants you to be happy, even if this job makes you the most miserable – even though he kinda thinks of you as a weak for this, his job literally involves killing people and he doesn't argue that much! 

But you giggle – sweet, innocent sound, it drives him crazy even more than he previously was. It doesn’t feel like those girls at school – yes, he still can’t let that go, even though his therapist says he has to – and he loses all control at how beautiful you sound. He wants to take you away right now, pay you for your workplace however you get them, and just use you as he wants – no matter how socially unacceptable. He protects this country, he has the right for a little prize, right? No, this would be terrible, he shouldn’t just harass sweet little civilians like you, he should…

— What type of coffee, sir? Do you want some dessert? 

This is a typical question, he was at cafes and coffee shops a thousand times but, for some reason, it feels almost like you are teasing him. You bite the end of your pen with those adorable teeth of yours – he wants to feel it on his fingers, he wants you to leave bite marks all over his body as a sign of marking him as yours. He smiles under his mask, hoping that you would somehow feel it – how happy you make him feel, how hard it’s for him not to lose control. 

— No. Just coffee. 

— Sugar? 

He would like some sugar, of course – but the one he wants is probably not for sale, even though that adorable white apron of yours makes you look like a candy. He would love to unwrap you from those silly clothes and devour what belongs to him for the right of protector, but he knows how scared you might be. He is not a good person, he killed more people that he could count – countless fathers, sons, mothers, he shouldn’t even think about having a right for a family of his own after all of this. He is not a good person and his moral code changes with every kill he gets – but for hell sake, he wants to be nice with you. You deserve it, he knows. More than he is, for sure. 

König doesn’t really like sugary stuff, it was always too childish, made him too energetic, disrupted his very peculiar way of eating things. Sweets makes him only more hungry, makes him crave more, and he wants to be as serious as possible – so he usually drinks and eats stuff that is no tastier than a pile of dry sand. But he responds before he can think, too focused on that shiny lipgloss you have on your lips. He would lick and bite it all – soon, he hopes. 

— Ja. Thank you. 

— Good choice, sir.

Your lips are curling into a small, shy smile and he likes sugar now. He isn’t sure if you are telling everyone that their order is a good choice, maybe you just want to get more tips, but he hopes that maybe, he is special. Maybe there is something nice happening to him after all. A small reward for not being a total monster on the last mission he had, even though he could. He can’t do anything but to stare at you, his only saving grace is the dark lenses of his glasses – he can’t wear his hood in civil situations, unfortunately, people would stare, stare, stare and that would make him want to pull their eyes out. 

But you smile and he smiles also, even if you can’t see it. He is looking at your legs and, fuck, he is a disgusting old creature that preys upon younger women because he never had a positive experience before. He is a total creep and a monster that should be put down already – but he stares at your legs under that waitress dress, and he would pay your manager a few thousand Euros to cut the length of your skirt in half. 

Then he sees all the others looking at you the same way – old people, young people, there aren’t a lot of guests at this time in the evening, most people are afraid of going into public places while the war on terrorism is going on. There aren’t a lot of people while it’s almost closing time, but he doesn't even want to think about all the other men looking at you like this. Devouring you with their eyes, probably leaving sleazy comments as you go through the small cafe, just as overworked as your other coworkers. He wants to take you from here. 

You don’t deserve people looking at you like you aren’t even a person – only he can look at you respectfully, stripping you with his eyes. He can be soft for you, can be perfect – if you would just let him. 

König doesn’t want to be a creep around you, but he was looking at your legs for five minutes already, picturing the way your body would look under all of these clothes, and his cock gets painfully hard. He thanks himself for wearing normal, baggy pants, not something tighter – at least his embarrassment is completely covered by his clothes. 

— Here is your coffee. Anything else? 

You look nervous, of course – but he seems way softer than he was a couple days ago, at night. The absence of his creepy mask is obviously helping, and because he is sitting, you don’t have to tilt your head too high, causing your neck to stretch uncomfortably. He looks awkwards, like a big dog that still tries to fit into his old bed, and it causes you to smile a little bit more. You made sure to place a couple of sugar cubes on the plate, so he could decide for himself, if he wants to use them all – but the mere thought of that giant of a man, a colonel, hardened soldier liking something silly and sweet is making you giggle. 

He looks way softer than he was that night, and you can almost forget about how scared you were – how you were thinking that this would be the end for you, that one, overthinking part of your mind already making up the scenarios of getting martial lawed because of the broken curfew. You can even see his hair – and fight the urge to touch it a little. He is still who-knows-how-old and still a military presence in your peaceful country. 

You still want to ruffle his hair. 

He still wants to take your clothes off and make you his. 

— Nein, thank you. 

He stares at the cup for a good few seconds – if he wants to drink, he needs to actually take it off. He has many scars on his face, and his mouth sometimes feels like it has more dead skin than alive one – he doesn’t want to attract attention. Some people are already staring at his badge and how awkward a giant man like him looking in that cozy, tiny place – but he also wants you to see how much pain he can withstand without getting killed. How he can protect you from anything because there literally isn’t anything he won’t do for you. You would appreciate a man with scars, it’s a sign of bravery, right? 

Then he thinks about all the times he would take off his mask and how people around him would look at him – with pity, with fear, with disgust sometimes even though he is certain that his face isn’t as deformed as some other parts of his body. He even almost managed to grow a beard once! Then he had to scrub it all off because hair was growing in very uneven patches and he looked like something crawled on his chin and died. 

König fought in countless battles, spent his youth training to be the best killer possible, took part in many major conflicts and killed hundreds of people while feeling nothing but recoil. He isn’t afraid of anything – except for talking to people sometimes, maybe, and even now he is trying to work on it with his therapist, instead of just killing anyone who looks at him funny. He isn’t afraid of the dark, of death, of uncertainty in his life. But he is afraid of you looking at him unmasked and thinking that you, in fact, find him disgusting. 

You almost want to take your time to look at what he will do – is he going to take off his mask? Is he going to drink right through the fabric? You have too much work to just stay at his table and stare, even if you want to – but you are trying to give him occasional glances as he just…sits at his table. Not even moving, just staring at the cup and sometimes moving his head to look at you – or just ornaments at the wall behind you. Yes, probably the ornament. 

König sits at the table and, well, he doesn’t even want to drink his coffee because just looking at the way your ass sways under that terribly short skirt is enough to set him on fire. He wants to take you home with him – even though his home is all the way up in Austria. He would take you, you probably wouldn’t even be mad at you – you could be a perfect little family. He already waited too long to start one, never finding anyone who would win his heart for a long run but he was sure that this three-days-obsession would last long. He isn’t sure, however, if he likes it or not. 

He ended up not drinking at all – he knows that he can’t just waste multiple hours, he already got his lieutenants covering the spot with paper work while their commander is away at searching for the love of his life. He wants to be with you longer, probably walk you home again and make sure to protect you from any creeps that would want to attack. He can’t have that, it’s obvious – he is a colonel, unfortunately, he is still on the hunt for those terrorists, he can barely give himself an hour of free time these days. 

He already indulged in his fantasies too much when he folds a 100 Euros banknote and puts it into the bill – not sure about how much money it is here, not wanting to give you any trouble with exchanging currency, he just hopes that would be enough for you to at least not worry about food for a few days. Or buy yourself something nice – what girls like these days? Guns, books, some fancy lip gloss, a hat for their adorable little turtles? He would buy you a pet turtle, he always wanted one as a kid – right before his father said that all lizards are products of sinful corporations and a lazy pet like a turtle, unlike a giant dog breed, is completely useless and unmanly. 

He doesn’t want to be here when you’ll get the bill – he is too afraid that he didn’t gave you enough, that you'd be disappointed. He would love to give you more, of course, but he doesn’t want to just shove you the money like you are some sort of cheap whore – he wants to give you gifts, something meaningful, to steal you from poverty altogether. König is an expert in infiltration and escaping arts, he can exit the location without anyone noticing a thing, even with his size – and then you look at him, directly into his eyes, covered by sunglasses – and your face is twisted in shock as you realize what exactly he left you. 

— Wait, sir! Please, I…god, I will get you the change right now, I’m so sorry, it’s closing shift, I…I’m sorry, I completely forgot…

You are almost begging him to stop and let you give him his money, a honorable deed really – but all he can think of is how nice you would look on your knees, begging him to fuck you already. How perfect you would look all whiny and spoiled, asking him for something expensive, whatever your cute head would want. You would look so complete on his lap, tugging on his shirt and asking your daddy for a new toy. You would…

— It was a tip. Take it. 

He wants to be able to tell you how perfect you look, how he wants to just throw you over his shoulder in a totally non-creepy way and make you his little wifey. How he would take multiple months of leave to just be with you, marry you, breed you. He wants to have a way with words, but they are useless to him – he can’t even say he likes you, it’s embarrassing, he is almost forty, he got his rank as youngest colonel in history of KorTac, he can literally have almost everything he wants – except for basic social skills. 

He feels like a creep, an old man trying to steal that perfect girl from the shiny world, and he hates himself for it – but then you blush and he can almost convince himself that yeah, you like that creep too. 

— I…shit, I mean, sorry…thank you, sir. 

— Don’t wander at night again. 

He feels like a scolding father and you giggle again, too innocent and naive to understand his thoughts. 

— I won’t. Promise. 

He then slowly leans closer, puts a hand on your shoulder again – goosebumps are running on your skin. His head is near yours now, he is whispering in your ear – and you are almost sure that you shouldn’t have come closer to him like this, that it’s unprofessional from your side, that everyone is staring at you. They are – and you try to ignore it, but…

— Wear shorts under your skirt next time. Never know who might look at your legs like that. 

You would slap him here and there. You would scream and run away right now, but for some stupid, dumb, completely terrifying reason, you…almost like how protective he sounds. And the money he gave you is also helping – even if just a little bit. 

König looks at the way you blush even more, and he knows already that he won’t ever let you go. 

Tag list: @iwritesjud3

Please write if you want to be tagged in the next chapter!

[smiley-mcdoggington]

ANOTHER ABO SMUTSHOT BECAUSE I SPENT 2K ON THE OTHER ONE OF JUST FUCKING DIALOG IM SO PISSED OFF ANYWAYS TW STANCEST TW DESCRIBED SEXUAL ASSAULT

One thing he missed about home was having room to pace. His socked feet thumped back and forth across the floor in an unsteady rhythm, dodging a stack of books every second step and turning 180° every fourth to continue his stride. Fiddleford was doing his level best to ignore him, but it was clear Ford's stress was contagious, even though he was sure his new roommate had no idea what he was even pacing about.

Stanley was late, an hour late. He had no reason to be late, but he was. Was he caught by campus security using Ford's ID? Did something happen at his work? Was he attacked? Ford continued his effort to wear a hole through the shag carpet.

Then he heard a key in the deadbolt, and he was over to the door in five steps, all but throwing it open. "Where were you?!" He demanded before a faint sour smell hit him.

Stanley had a fresh red bruise on his cheekbone, a split on his lip and the smell of an alpha on him. Ford's stomach dropped. Statistics scrolled by the back of his head while he yanked his brother inside. "What happened? Who did this? How far did they go? Are you okay?" He questioned, holding his bruised face like porcelain, trying to look for more bruises.

Stanley gave him a smile. "I'm fine, Sixer, geez. I was just at that new boxing place, nothing I haven't gotten before." He said easily, putting his smaller hands over Ford's anyway.

"It's not the same. You smell like one of them..." He said lowly. "What did they do to you?"

Stanley sighed, sitting down on his bunk. "Not a big deal, big guy was trying to put me down but he got close to an omega's neck and started acting like a teenager." He said as if they weren't just eighteen. "Mighta licked me once or twice, but I knocked him on his ass in the end." Stan said as if it were a satisfying conclusion.

Ford wanted to rip the invading alpha's tongue out. Was there no sense of decency at that gym? He looked closely at the nape of Stan's neck and saw slightly red, inflamed skin. He should call the police, it was an outrage, if Stan was in a more legal living situation he would.

"Heh, hey, Sixer, look on the bright side, how many people can say they gave someone a tent and a concussion in under a minute?" Stan joked crassly, hand holding Ford's tightly.

Ford sighed. "Really Stanley, not the takeaway here." He said fondly. "Let me clean that off?"

"Please." Stanley huffed, and Ford dragged him back up and out of the dorm with a quick and awkward goodbye to Ford's more legal roommate while Stanley grabbed their one towel.

The shared bathroom for the floor had the door hanging open, which was a relief. Both twins hurried inside, shutting and locking themselves in.

The bathroom smelled fairly neutral, since the floor was almost entirely betas, if not the most pleasant because they were mostly still teenagers.

Stan handed Ford their towel before sitting on the lid of the toilet and shucking his shirt.

Ford left the sink to run. "So I suppose that gym was a bust."

"Nah, they're fine mostly, this was just one asshole."

Ford squinted. "Just one asshole that they banned from the property for sexual assault?"

"A little licking and-- I don't think that counts for anything."

"Licking and?" Ford said lowly.

"And nothing! It's fine, Ford."

"Now I know you're lying! What did he do?" He asked severely, letting a slight rumble in his chest escape him.

"He grabbed my ass, okay? It's not a big deal, I punched one of his teeth out." Stanley said, but that just didn't make sense. How had the fight continued after such a blatant move? How did he even--... Stanley was still lying.

"No one can grab things with boxing gloves on, not that quickly." He said faintly, and Stanley's eyes slid away from his to stare at the wall. "Stanley, were you even in the ring when it happened..?"

Stanley's hand reached up and started itching at his already swollen glands. Ford grabbed his wrist to keep it away. Stanley could have pulled out of it but he didn't.

"Stanley."

"I fucked up, okay? I know I fucked up, I didn't mean to--" Stanley was acting like Ford was mad and him and it made his stomach turn. He grabbed his twin's face to make him stop and look at him.

"Stanley. You didn't fuck up. You didn't fuck anything up, okay? It was that damn alpha." He spat the name of the presentation as if it were sand in his mouth. "You were perfect, okay? You always are."

Stanley leaned into his hand like it was the most comfortable place in the world. "Okay..." He said, sounding very small.

Ford ghosted his thumb over his brother's purpling cheekbone. "Wait here, I'll only be a second." He said, and waited for the weight of Stanley's head to leave his palms before drawing away.

He checked the temperature on the running sink - the ancient pipes finally sputtering out water that wasn't ice cold. He wet a corner of their towel and brought it back over to Stanley.

His brother dropped his head to the side to give Ford access, and he quickly ran the warm, wet towel over the reddened glands.

Stan let out a pleased huff, a low rumble beginning in his chest as Ford ran the warm cloth over his neck and shoulders. "Six... You gonna tell me what they taught ya's in that fancy physics class?" He said distractedly, lolling his head to the other side to let Ford at that side of his neck.

"We learned about time dilation." Ford said. "About how when you're far from earth, time moves differently. I could be a billion lightyears away for a minute and years could have passed without me."

"Time travel, neat."

"I don't know. It seems lonely more than anything."

"Easy fix - just lemme on your ship, space man..." He said drowsily, lost in the towel bath-turned-petting Ford was lavishing him with.

"Of course. What's the point of a Stan O' War sailing with just one Stan?"

Stanley huffed one single, distracted laugh. "Maybe we could get married up there. International space waters."

"I'd call it closer to extranational space."

"Nerd."

Ford snorted.

The glorified rag they called their towel was cold under Ford's hands, and Stan shivered. "Too damn cold in here." He grumbled, eyes squinting open like the lights offended him.

"We could head back, put our blankets on top of eachother." Ford murmured into his brother's hair, running fingers down his spine.

Stanley hummed. "I know a quicker way to warm us up." He said and suddenly Ford felt warm fingers itching under his green gym shorts.

"Are you sure you're up for it tonight? After what happened?" He said, even though the sour smell was gone, replaced by familiar sweetness.

"Ugh, how am I supposed to think about a damn ruthead when I've got you right in front of me?" Stanley replied, standing up meet Ford in a bruising kiss. Ford put one hand on Stan's chest and the other in his hair, along for the ride as Stanley licked into his mouth.

Stan pulled away suddenly. "I'll turn on the shower." He said, voice hoarse and hot, and Ford watched him walk over to the small seperated shower room with three different heads all with different amounts of plumbers tape cobbling them together. Ford pulled off his vest and started fumbling with the buttons on his shirt while he heard the pipes strain through the walls before a hissing filled the shower alcove.

Ford shrugged his shirt off at the same time Stan started fumbling with his loud, clicky belt. He looked over and watched. Really, the belt was redundant, Stanley's jeans hugged him so perfectly, showed off every curve of muscle, the way the softness of his thighs squished under a set of six-fingered hands. His eyes devoured every inch of skin as the denim was slowly pulled away. On closer inspection he was wearing Ford's boxers. Ford wanted to cry.

Stanley pulled those down too, until all he was wearing was a little gold hoop earring. Ford saw every little movement that went into Stanley's slow stroll back to the showers. "You coming, Sixer?" Stanley asked. "It's getting lonely over here."

Ford got rid of his shorts and underwear and was quickly following Stanley to the shower before Stanley could finish the sentence.

Stanley turned to face him and he shoved him into the wall, meeting his lips desperately while warm water rolled off his back. Stanley pushed back until he found his own back against the wall, he didn't care as long as Stanley didn't stop.

Five-fingered hands roved up and down his torso, rolling a nipple with one hand and holding a hip with the other, he was all over like a starved man.

"St-anley." Ford groaned while Stanley licked over the glands on his own neck. Stanley's hands itched lower, lover than his ass, the next second Ford was off his feet and pressed even further into the wall with a startled yelp.

Stanley giggled, before adjusting his hold on Ford again. Ford got out a breathy "Don't you dare--" before Stanley raised him high enough his legs could rest on Stanley's shoulders, still pressed against the wall. "Stan - oh." He felt slight warm pants warming his dick as Stanley leaned forward, taking in as much as he could at once. Ford keened, hands in Stanley's hair, feeling like he was on a mechanical bull as his whole body rocked up and down the wall to the movement of Stan's bobbing head. A steady stream of huffs and moans slipping from his throat as he desperately chased his peak.

Then Stanley pulled away and Ford whined at the loss.

His brother gave him a dopey grin. Ford laughed breathlessly. "Whats that look for?"

"I love you."

Heat rushed to his face. Stanley was looking up at him eagerly. "I... Well of course I love you too, knucklehead."

Stanley smiled widely, kissing Ford just below the bellybutton before lowering him closer to eye-level. Ford immediately wrapped his legs around Stanley's hips. And one of Stanley's hands inched off his leg and lower.

One finger ran over his wet hole and he nearly jerked out of Stan's arms, his brother scrabbling to keep him steady. "No?" Stanley asked.

"Yes." Ford replied. "Please." He added to state the urgency.

Stanley groaned into his neck. "You're killin' me." He whined, and two fingers slipped into Ford's entrance.

Ford started rolling back onto them immediately, not minding the burn and eager for what comes after.

Stanley was looking at him the way he looked at an art piece, a third finger sneaking in with the other two, making a wet noise the shower could not muffle. Ford pushed up his slipping glasses as he continued fucking himself until Stanley's breath hitched and he again stole Ford's stimulation from him, pulling his fingers out and leaving Ford hollow and wanting.

Then he felt something else press at his entrance, and he took a breath, groaning as Stanley sank in, waiting on Ford to move first.

When Ford's hips started rolling, Stan whined, thrusting back into him with everything he was.

Stanley let Ford set the pace, following the rolls of his hips dutifully but going no faster. Ford let himself get lost in it, like a rocking boat.

Then Stanley leaned forward, panting into Ford's ear. "Mark me."

Ford shuttered. "Really? You're sure?"

"Please." Stanley said, sounding close to crying for it. "I wan' it - I need it - please please please, Sixer, Stanford - fuck - I, I just wanna smell like you forever." He cried desperately, and Ford groaned in turn, salivating at the idea.

"You s-sure?" Ford asked, hips speeding up a little as the thought sunk in. Stanley nodded furiously, and Ford opened his mouth, letting his canines graze soft flesh, pulse fluttering under his teeth. A string of begging was pulled from Stanley's mouth before Ford couldn't control his hips anymore, rolling desperately, filling himself over and over. He bit down on the side of Stanley's neck, teeth digging into one of the glands as he came against his brother's stomach. Stanley made a half-choked wimper, coming inside without warning, head ragdolled to show Ford as much of his neck as possible while he shook, trying to keep his legs from giving out all at once while he sank to the shower floor. Ford pulled his teeth out and held Stanley while he came down.

When Stanley finally had the presence of mind to look up at Ford, he gave him another dopey smile. "I'm your problem now." He said smugly, voice completely wrecked.

"You always have been, Stanley." Ford said, combing his fingers through his hair. "You always will be."

[the-autistic-gemini]

Hi, for my first real post, imma post my silly Maka hcs. There's a tad bit of spice in here, but it's mostly mild. Uhhh, enjoy!

• Bi bi bi! She strikes me as demiro and Demisexual and bi or pan (I'm not at all projecting fuck off) she's either a cis girl or a trans girl depending on my mood.

• For her body type and stuff she's above average height (like 5'6 or 5'7), but her limbs are so long and willowly she looks taller. Her torso is average size, and her legs are long. She's a petite with maybe a b cup chest and a tummy with a bit of chub at the bottom. She has toned muscular arms. Her skin is super soft, and bruises easy. She has scars she doesn't know the origin of and constantly has bruises around her knees.

• She totally asks pronouns anytime she meets someone (hers are she/her btw) she's all like "Hi! I'm Maka my pronouns are she/what are yours?

• She's so friendly and sweet when you first meet her then you slowly realize she has the personality a grumpy temperamental old cat

• She's a really good cook but her and soul take turns cooking and sometimes someone has to make the 3am microwave cup noodles of shame.

• After re-watching more of the show, my opinion changed bc its been a while. Still think she's a good cook but bitch has autism foods. Hates the texture of raw fish but doesn't mind it cooked. She's not really a big meat person. I think she considers going vegetarian or vegan a lot but A) soul loves meat and she doesn't want to have a moral delima and B) girl is a cheese lover and vegan cheese has a bad texture. She tried it once and wanted to spit it out. Super particular about texture. Seems like she's good at making and likes breakfast food. Mac and cheese and chicken nugget enthusiast.

• For drinks I feel like she's a water drinker but likes green tea (especially matcha I feel like her dad jokes about how Maka and matcha sound similar. She hates it) she also drinks orange or apple juice with breakfast. If she ever needs caffeine she'll drink Dr. Pepper or coffee with a small amount of cream and sugar.

• If we're talking alchohol she's not a big drinker (probs bc her dad) and never drank underage but while legal has like a glass of wine from time to time

• Mom friend in every sense of the word I feel like she consistently checks on blackstar and soul to make sure they are turning in their homework

• I feel she loves talking to strangers

• Shes such a hugger (unless she's mad at someone then she won't touch them for a week)

• Music taste hcs are so important to me, and I feel like most ppl get Maka wrong. Girl does not understand music she had to read a book to understand it; therefore, I think her music taste is odd and not stuff Soul is really into. Soul is happy she found music she likes but doesn't quite get why she likes it. I feel like she likes heavily electronic music, scenecore, and nightcore. Very upbeat stuff to help her stay alert and awake during study sessions. Most music sounds like noise to her, so it's not as off-putting to her as it is to some others.

• She falls asleep on the couch in the front room of her and souls apartment while studying a lot. Soul will see her and smile be he thinks she's cute. He'll pick her up and put her in her bed (if it's after they start dating He'll change her into night clothes)

• Speaking of night clothes she has matching pajama sets that are super soft materials or simple night gowns. She definitely sleeps in clothes most of the time I feel like she runs cold and she'd only be comfortable sleeping naked with soul A) bc she trusts him B) bc he's warm. Only reason she would not sleep naked with her other partner often is that bitch is cold

• Oh ya she's dating soul and crona btw. In my perfect little world. They have 2 completely different relationship dynamics.

• With Soul, she teases him and often shows irritation or frustration with him. I also feel like they are more intimate. She's not really soft or gentle with him she doesn't need to be they know eachothers limits and bodies and souls intuitively. They're essentially super close best friends who tease and bully eachother but also fuck. And that works for them. They didn't want anything to change their relationship when they started dating anyway .

• She's softer with Crona, it seems more like a romantic relationship in vibes. They cuddle a lot. I feel like they have self care days bc Maka is scared crona won't take care of themself on their own. Crona appreciates her doting. They never got to have a loving mom, so they love when Maka does their hair or paints her nails. They're soft. They have intimacy, but it's both less rough and less frequent than Soul and Maka. They both enjoy kissing and being soft and loving to each other.

• Maka is the leader in both her relationships. Her partners are passive she is more decisive and dominant.

• Soul and Crona don't date each other only Maka, but they will all hang out together and are good friends. They plan her birthdays together and are just kinda in eachothers corner, especially when it comes to Maka related stuff.

• I feel like tsubaki is her closet girl friend.

• Did I mention Maka has autism? No? Well, she does. I feel like she's diagnosed too

[timothylawrence]

OKAY.. Ace Attorney Justice for All ep 1-2 (mostly 2) review :)

-okay starting off easy i loved loved loved loved the amnesia plot sorry it was so funny to me. like i laughed out loud. oh phoenix. oh phoenix. oh also one of my fav twists so far has been the british car. that shit was so good. i said WAITTTT !!!!! ALSO ALSO SORRY HIM CALLING PEARL PERALS IS SO CUTEEEEE

-okay sorry i got too excited MAAAAAAYYYYAAAAAA MAYAAAAAAAA. was i probably too dramatic crying over her leaving knowing full well she was a reoccurring character. probably. do i feel a little embarrassed. maybe. WHO CARES SHESSS BACKKKK....!!!this review is mostly about her and im not too sorry. ive said it before she is the soul of this game. truly. she really is. the love she has for pheenie and vice versa... like idk. the game feels complete when she's here. her commentary. her jokes. her interactions. yeah.

-moving on to maya 2.0 CAN THEY STOP TRAUMATIZING HERRR!?!??! i will say i love her writing i love how 3d she feels and i love love her struggles and how realistic they are. shes a kid but shes meant to be a master but she's all alone. no mom no older sister and now no aunt?? like what the fuck. she deserves the world.

-^super fucked up and onto my next point. phoenix being so worried and scared for her that he broke down a huge heavy door on his own. dude . he loves her so much. so much. he literally yells at her when she talks about how doomed she is. he loves her. what the fuck. thats his little sister. i genuinely am the happiest when they're on screen together. pheeny i just need you to get a tad more into your emotional side and give her a hug for me or something i beg.

-sorry one last thing.

I fucking cried my eyes out dude. i fucking sobbed. what the fuck. when the reveal that the nice smell was her sister's clothes??? like are you fucking kidding me. are you serious. i teared up writing this review im not even ashamed i love how the heart of this game is siblings. but especially these two. i know some ppl might feel that mia is a cop out in cases but idc. the whole story is rooted in her. the whole reason we're even here!!!!

-okay. the part you guys (and I) have all been waiting for. oohhhh franziskaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! First impressions, i love her design. i love the way she talks. AND SHES EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD??? HELLO?? THATS A BABY??? sorry i missed von karma and she emulated him a lot so that was fun to.

-well it was fun for three seconds and then um . then i got really sad. you're telling me that dude was her dad?? we saw how fucked up miles got just by being his mentor. can you imagine living under that man's roof? him being your blood? oh my god. if you look at her for too long you begin to just feel fucking sad. like there's a seeping sadness cracking through her perfect mannerisms.

okay. okay. okay. so you're telling me when she realizes she's been caught, she doesn't look angry nor caught off guard like Miles or livid like her dad. she looks fucking scared and concerned? hello? can anyone hear me? hello? "i am perfect I am Franziska" yeah guys we gotta die. oh my god. i am begging that she gets her solo episode like miles did. because i need to dissect her more. that last frame makes me wanna die.

-EDIT*** i forgot this part. but as a woman in a legal setting/office setting her constantly being called sir is such an emulation of my fucking life dude. not being taken seriously and having to go to my male colleagues and/or boss to get clients to take me seriously. ugh. im pissed off for her. and myself. ugh. a good telling of misogyny and what its like to be a woman in settings like this.

-oh my god i got to the end of this review and forgot to mention MILES IS FUCKING DEAD??? LMFAO? sorry for #beingawomanlover. but also um. i dont think a dead guy can have a spin off game so i have a decent hunch (i know) hes probably coming back but the fact i said go take a vacation and he decides to fake his death... girl.... this gay drama is out of hand. also wait i need to add i know i didn't like miles at first and people got the impression i dont like him at all but thats not true!!! i genuinely do like him!!

-okay this is my longest review yet but who cares. i need you people to know im cranking out 7-10 hours on this game a day there's actually something wrong with me. oh and once again no spoilers pleaseee i have zero spoilers moving forward ^^ okay bye bye

[springcatalyst]

About my OCs game

thank youuu @hamburgerslippers for tagging me, as always I have a blast making u look at my guys and i know there's at least one other tag game u sent me that i havent done and yes i live in constant shame

Favorite OC: Julian Dae

I'd love to lie and say I don't have favorites but I do and it's. Well. Not my fault he's bitchy and damaged and disconnected and isolated and angry and (<- is my fault)

Newest OC: Diana Rojas?

I might change her last name BUT I have finally started to figure her out. As far as 'this character has probably existed' she's older than a few others like Sumaya or a couple unnamed ones, but she's actually got plotline so she counts more than them. Also she actually has a design (tho it's subject to change).

Oldest OC: Julian Dae

Of fucking course. He's changed a lot obvi but I first made him in like... 2018. He's old as fuck. Functionally he's more like 2 or 3 years old tho because that's when I solidified his actual story to (roughly) what it is now.

Meanest OC: ...Julian Dae

I'm sensing a theme. Listen I'm not just joking when I say he's a bitch he is kind of an asshole. People don't like him for good reason. He doesn't exactly work and play well with others. He's soooooo defensive that it circles around to being offensive. He

Softest OC: Milo Montalvo!

He's done literally nothing wrong in his whole life but also if you say that you're missing the point and u dont get him like i do <3. Listen. He cares about people and he's easy to be around BUT he makes mistakes and sometimes in the effort of not hurting anybody he ends up doing more damage. But mostly he's sweet. My perfect fucked up guy.

Most standoffish/aloof OC: Brooke Ulriche

She's soooooo disaffected she doesn't see the point of getting close to people anymore so she just doesn't. She moves through people's lives with little thought to them which means she doesnt really care about any of them?? Just in a personable manner?? But also she DOES care but only in the sense of how she is useful to them. She's really normal guys.

Dumbest OC: .... ...Julian Dae

I hesitate to call him dumb but compared to the others... yeah. He's too impulsive for his own good and he doesn't really think about consequences. He's never had a plan in his life. Everybody else is either really methodical (Liliana, Brooke, Reiji) or emotionally intelligent and good at problem solving (Milo, Diana) and Julian just... isn't. He's fuckin stupid but also look out? I guess?

Smartest OC: Liliana Hart!

And that's why they go so well together! Lmao she's not perfect (FAR fucking from it) but she actually IS really good with a plan and is patient and brutal and you know that post that's like "ruthless just means seeing the clear line between here and there"? that's Liliana. She's detail-oriented and careful and while going off-book isn't exactly her strong suit she CAN make it work because she has good instincts. She's good at considering all the options and picking the best one.

Horniest OC: ..............Diana

LISTENNNNNNNNNN I. She. Ok???? If she wasn't so gay like 90% of her problems would go away but I. you. let her live

OC I'd bang: For legal purposes I cannot answer this

yeah i'm taking the coward's road with this one. u dont need to worry about it ASDFGHJKLKJHGFD

OC I'd be besties with IRL: Milo...

I said he's easy to get along with and I'm difficult so like..... Also Liliana tho because she's outgoing and trans and that's all it takes. Julian would just wanna fight and the other three are too quiet so we wouldn't speak to each other because you know I dont start conversations.

also i'm realizing now Reiji gets NOTHING. fuck him i guess (<- i lpve him)

[adultswim2021]

Robot Chicken: “Robot Chicken: Star Wars” | June 17, 2007 - 10:00PM | Special

You know what? Sometimes you just start a write-up and hope for the best. It’s a shame I don’t like this show, because I feel like an enthusiastic fan of it would really make a meal out of pointing out the various parodies and references and inside jokes and stuff. The fact of the matter is, I mostly detest this show. I’m sorry. I’m not the man for this particular job. Were I offered to participate in the writing of an episode-by-episode guide to Adult Swim (ahem), the publisher would be wise to get somebody else to write the Robot Chicken episodes. But I’m doing it here anyway, as a way to mark the fact that yes, I did indeed watch this.

I’ve actually sat through this before. I don’t remember why or how I saw this the first time around. BUT: I remember I did make a point to copy the official retail DVD of this special for my archives, back when the notion of having every Adult Swim show, no matter how bad or unmemorable, on DVD, in a case, sometimes with printed-out artwork to go with it, sitting on my shelf next to other Adult Swim shows of varying quality and legality, among my greater home video collection, was important to me.

For some reason I decided to watch this one, even though combining Robot Chicken with Star Wars would be like combining dog shit with human shit. I think I was so perturbed by the idea that a single 22-minute long special getting its own DVD release with it’s own inflated MSRP that it sent shivers down my spine. I thought, huh, maybe the extras make it all worth it? In fact, I remember watching this with VIDEO COMMENTARY. I was just that morbidly curious. I don’t have that DVD(-R copy) at my disposal anymore. I have HBOMax, though, so I decided to watch it on there.

So… these Star Wars specific parody specials all sure seemed to pop up around the same time, huh? What was the deal with that? Shortly after this there were the Family Guy ones. Okay, so I’m regurgitating stuff RedLetterMedia videos have already beaten into the ground, so sue me. But it’s sorta no secret that stuff like the Star Wars trilogy Special Editions being released in the mid-90s were part of a shrewd business move to not only keep the trilogy relevant, but also go generate income for LucasFilm, which is basically a one-trick space pony. It’s also the reason the prequels exist, and it’s the reason, I gather, these exist. But with these specials George Lucas doesn’t have to make a new movie or sit around approving a new sound mix for a home video re-release. He just asks these hip shows that his son likes (probably) to make extended-length Star Wars specials, perhaps take a cut, and then rest easy that that the trilogy is probably going to sell 20% more copies on blu-ray because stoners were reminded they existed over and over again.

I can’t find proof of this, but: It is my personal theory that George Lucas asked the producers of Robot Chicken and Family Guy to make these specials. When you read the wiki about the background of this special, it seems to indicate that Lucas called the Robot Chicken boys in for a meeting, and that they were “granted permission” to so a special. This is usually described with a story where the creators in question are genuinely nervous that the reason they are being called into this meeting is to get yelled at for the show’s previous Star Wars spoofs and goofs. But to their surprise and elation: turns out George really likes them! WOW!

That sequence of events as described seems odd. Seth MacFarlane’s story comes off a tad false, completely ignoring the precedence set by Robot Chicken, also with the same feigning that they were nervous that their previous jokes about Star Wars may have stepped on LucasFIlm’s toes. Also LucasFilm must’ve had a relationship with Cartoon Network, since they produced both Clone Wars series for Cartoon Network. Also: George Lucas is IN this fucking thing! 

Okay, fuck it: I am barely going to talk about the content of this episode. Because I don’t really care. How much can you say about a comedy special that focuses on one topic, and it’s one topic you don’t really like that much, and none of the sketches make you laugh? I’ll give you some basic information: Most of the episode is new material. Most of it is pretty well done, actually, as far as animation and design and stuff goes. I sense a slightly higher production value, but maybe I’m imagining things, or was seduced by the letterbox bars present in some sketches (but not others [!]). But lord, nothing made me laugh. This just isn’t for me. 

Pretend I did an “Ephemera Corner” for this: when the special aired, it actually aired a few times throughout the night sandwiched between regular episodes of Robot Chicken, and included little video segments of the Robot Chicken boys hosting it all. I sorta remember them over-bullying Matthew Senreich with  horseplay. He probably deserves it! He is almost 50 years old! He disgusts me!

[sunderedazem]

OC Interview for Eiri. What is your favorite activity to do with your nephew? How well do the two of you get along with each other?

When was the first time Vette and later Tau called you Riri?

(Post "Ossus Arc" - Eiri has defected back to Zakuul and the Alliance, Corrain has taken the Eternal Throne, and the Jedi are rebuilding on Ossus - but the Republic and Empire are not back at war in my timeline here, so...this is also sort of pre-relationship Eiri/Tau)

My nephew? Did you mean - the little shit with a cocky attitude and the most garbage sabacc face across the galaxy? The little priss sort-of-Jedi with anger management issues? The pint-size busybody idealist that I regularly have to bodily throw out of my combat instruction classes with the Odessen acolytes because he's trying to pretend he's not available to take a joint phone call from the Sith Empress and the Supreme Chancellor? (I mean, I'd hide too, but I'm also not the one leading an empire and an intergalactic alliance) That little brat?

We get along swimmingly, of course!

Well, he'd beg to differ, but I'm sure that's because he's losing the current prank war. Corrain, if you're reading this - the green hair dye comes out, I swear to Nahut you're not going to be a mint monstrosity forever. Take it as payback for conspiring with MY students to let a bantha shit on my desk, you little turd. How did you even get it in the base? How did you get it past your wife and husband? If the unspoken rule wasn't that I Don't Get You In Trouble With The Spouses and you Don't Get Me In Trouble With My Co-teacher, I'd have tattled on you SO fast.

Things you didn't know about one ex-Jedi Battlemaster and Emperor of Zakuul - he's a fucking nuisance. He's also got excellent taste in Zakuulan soap operas through - and by that I mean he bitches at ALL the correct points. No, we don't watch them together, kriff off.

And as for the Riri nickname- I dunno when Vette first came up with it. She was definitely using it fully in place of my name or any stupid Sith titles by the time Vitiate's weird cult of worshippers named me his "Wrath" but...maybe when I bought her sister's freedom for her? I think that might've done it. Quinn hated it, of course, but then I lent him to my ward-sister, Darth Anathemous, and I think he took the promotion to her inner circle quite well. Frankly I think Vette might've done it to annoy me at first, but honestly- she only thinks she's annoying, the little shit. It's mostly endearing now.

Tau's only started using it recently though. I think she picked it up when Vette came by while we were teaching the acolytes the scary end of the lightsaber from the safe one - some of these poor twerps are so incredibly nervous around weapons. it sounds softer coming from her than it does from Vette - like she's finally stopped seeing "ex-Sith" and has started seeing someone else. It's...it's odd, but not in a bad way, it's very...warm. Kind of cozy, really. Is that weird to say?

(fuck i hope she doesn't see this)

(Corrain if you show her they're never finding your body)

(for legal and Lana and Theron reasons, that's a joke)

[mekatrio]

ho hum ho hum very quick rough skeleton planning of what a proper apollo justice trilogy would look like if it were up to ME:

firstly there'd be a rfta-type case to stick at the end of ajaa, which will patch up the plot holes that 4-4 left behind (mostly gavin brothers backstory + mason system lore)

ajaa2: APOLLO JUSTICE EUROPEAN INTERNSHIP, phoenix is busy studying for the bar so to get rid of distractions i mean to enrich his employee's working experience, he ships them off to where edgeworth is fucking around in europe. edgeworth is a legal researcher there not a prosecutor so its chill for apollo to intern w him. ema is also there cuz she got relatives there, shes here for a vacation but shes still going to be our detective buddy. does she hv jurisdiction to do any of that? no. but this is ace attorney so who gaf. and of course trucy is tagging along to write an essay for her summer homework.

this game will take a closer look at the jurist/jury system, the purpose of apollo's trip here will be to study the different type of legal systems and compare them to the ones back home. phoenix's 'official' mission statement for him is to deliver the results of the jurist system to edgeworth (who obvs helped phoenix organize that whole thing), and return w a report on its viability back home.

apollo will still hv his perceive abilities but what changes up this time is that the court proceedings itself will be different. apollo will find himself needing to persuade a jury, and this is where trucy is very important, as she is a performer, and she will help apollo better understand the mind of the audience. throughout the game the two of them will grow even closer and culminate into an awesome 2-man act.

the rival prosecutor will be a bratty girl, similar to franziska but outwardly pleasant like klavier. in the last or second to last case she'll be revealed to be franziska's disciple. when apollo asks edgeworth "Why didn't you tell me this?!" he's gonna be like "hrrrmrmmm u didnt ask. 😒" edgeworth will be this game's hilariously shitty 'mentor' figure. in this trilogy apollo is just gonna be cursed with shitty 'mentors' HAHA

the game's overarching plot line will concern itself w cocoon smuggling, and will also take a look at police/interpol corruption. the final case will be when it all blows over, and will also be when we FINALLY get the sibling reveal. lamiroir will have several appearances in the game before this however, its gonna act as a bunch of stupid red herrings where we think she'll tell apollo and trucy that they're related but it'll keep being a fake out every time. itll be like

Lamiroir: Apollo, Trucy, there is something I must tell you...

Apollo and Trucy: ?

Lamiroir: .........I am touring at Berlin next week! Please do stop by if you're free, don't hesitate to call my manager to get free tickets! 😄

and this shit will happen at least 2-3 times LOL. but she'll be a witness in the last case and then we'll learn that the reason she hasnt been able to tell us is bc she was being blackmailed 😱😱😱 and klavier will be a witness too for the lulz. game will end with gramarye family FINALLYYYY reuniting itll be so touching and heartwarming sob sniffle bawl, and apollo and trucy (and klavier LOL) flying bck to japanifornia with a better understanding of legal systems and performing, with how cultural context matters greatly in both the art of performance and the employment of legal systems.

ajaa3: game starts off w phoenix as the defendant AGAIN, man finally got his badge and immediately got hit w a Murder Charge. yes he's gonna be the new maya what about it. i feel like we joke too much abt maya constantly getting arrested for murder while ignoring that phoenix has received just as many murder charges PLS..... also apollo is gonna have the funniest awkward dynamic with phoenix where phoenix doesnt want to be apollo's dad and apollo doesnt want phoenix as his dad but phoenix feels kinda obligated and apollo is like You Are My BOSS Go AWAY so yes the opening tutorial is going to be kinda silly. but thats bc the rest of the game is gonna be pretty dark..

cuz this game will concern itself greatly with the DEATH PENALTY and IMPRISONMENT, apollo's backstory will have somethinggg to do w the death penalty too idk what tho, either his former teacher / friend / foster parent / IDK was falsely accused of a crime, and apollo became an attorney in hopes of saving them before their execution. but we will only find out abt this much much later... like last 2 case later. but there'll be hints throughout.

and the fey girlies will show up!! i was thinking maybe theyll show up at the end of the first case to reprimand nick but hmmm maybe they could show up a bit later. anyways we're getting spirit channelling again FOR THE LOVE OF GOD and this time it is NOT getting fumbled. channelled spirits cant be witnesses or used as evidence bc gregory edgeworth committed perjury that one time smhhhh 😒😒😒, but we're still having them to help guide investigations cuz WHO GAF. maybe we can get a mia cameo heehee. but uh yes anyways maya and pearl will channel the spirits of executed prisoners and its gonna be extremely grim.. a large chunk, if not most, of the game will take place in a prison. at this prison are a large number of prisoners demanding retrials, or just overall officer abuse, or maybe a mix of both. either way its grim. and the fey's spirit channeling will take a closer look at evidence law, and what evidence is and isnt permissible. itll be a parallel to 4-4, which relied heavily on the not very legal mason system. something something ethics of surveillance and also solitary confinement. oh and phoenix will be fucking off setting up wright & co again + chilling with the feys, but he'll still be someone u can pop over to and ask for advice.

there'll be a lot of cameos of former male convicts (cuz this will be at a men's prison), we'll see a godot coffee machine and maybe get to talk to valant. final case will concern itself with KRISTOPH, and subsequently, klavier. bratty prosecutor from europe will also tag in cuz of course she has to, this is the fucking finale! this is also where we finally learn why apollo became a defense attorney to begin with.

ill be honest im kinda drawing at a blank here for potential ideas cuz a lot of my ideas for an ajaa trilogy ending hv been condensed into my imaginary aa4 followup. but like i cant take the ending idea from that and put it into here cuz that one is like super involved with the gavin brothers backstory. im also drawing at a blank for what big role trucy would play and also who the rival prosecutor would be. so uhhh...... 😁👍 BLANK SPACE HERE

but ESSENTIALLY i would want an ajaa trilogy to end with the death penalty + treatment of prisoners being reviewed. this is a pretty lackluster outline for a finale but thats bc most of my epic ideas are in my imaginary aa4 followup.... TOO BAD!!! ill write out the outline for that.... eventually......

WAIT LAST MINUTE ADDITION i figured out a role for trucy. now that apollo and trucy know that theyre family, the two of them will be a kinda awkward but ultimately endearing brother and sister pair. and the game will take a look at how the prison system breaks families apart. Yes. OK. ok bye

[beacon-lamp]

with hermitcraft season 7 slowly coming to an end, i figured it was time to consolidate all of the Informative Posts about hermitcraft that i and some of the other members of hermitblr have made over the last several months.

if you enjoy:

minecraft youtube content, but want to see more traditional vanilla minecraft gameplay like building and redstone

fun, lighthearted interactions between genuine friends including Elaborate pranks, collaborating on massive projects, light roleplay, proximity voice chat mod

weekly 20 - 40 minute long youtube videos and consistent upload schedules

chill grind stream weekends where CCs interact with chat and each other

an entire youtube channel dedicated to weekly 20-minute recap videos on what all the hermits have been up to so you don’t have to piece it together from the posts on your dash/timeline

insanely talented people who have been doing mcyt for nearly, if not more than, a decade and essentially built minecraft youtube from the ground up

give hermitcraft a try!  

you will find all of the information you will Ever Need below the cut.  it’s Very Long so view it on desktop.

and if you ever have any more questions, just shoot me an ask :)

what is hermitcraft?

the Basics: what, who, where, how

more details on the Basics

bonus: the historical impact many hermitcraft members have had on mcyt

where do i even start watching?

start with grian.

good mix of Incredible builds and fun server shenanigans.  instigator of many server-wide events.  interacts with many other hermits.  generally entertaining to watch.  but zero redstone knowledge.

check out hermitcraft recap.

great way to be introduced to other hermits and learn what everyone’s up to.  if you find what a hermit’s been working on interesting, go watch their video and maybe give them a like and subscribe.

official hermitcraft website with links to every member’s channel

more information on every hermit’s attributes and general vibes

do hermits every stream?

short answer: yes, most do!  but these streams are mostly chill grinding or buildling streams.  and you don’t have to watch the streams to be caught up on content.  check the official hermitcraft website for each member’s twitch links.

long answer that covers most of the hermits

what do they do on hermitcraft?

let’s start with some examples of their incredible builds.

hermit cribs: some of the megabases in s7

goodtimeswithscar’s s7 magical village with shaders

stressmonster’s bakery and ren’s star wars world

Capitalism

they have a shopping district where hermits can set up shops and sell items and resources that other hermits can buy with diamonds.  here’s season 7 shopping district set on a mooshroom island:

some of the most advanced redstone you’ve ever seen

if you’re more into the technical side of minecraft, you can be rest assured that hermitcraft has some of the Biggest Brains in redstone.

tangotek: a fucking madlad.  Singled-handedly created the minigame Decked Out.  im Begging you to watch his tutorial video on how to play.  currently finishing up his Among Us but in minecraft minigame. all of this was built Entirely in survival vanilla minecraft.  get this man to 1M subscribers.

mumbo jumbo: the man himself.  built a 128 x 128 block industrial district in both season 6 and 7 packed to the Brim with mechanical farms.  half the brain behind the masterpiece of engineering that was Sahara in season 6.  currently working on Pacific, the sequel to Sahara, in season 7.

iskall85: the other half of the brain behind Sahara and working on Pacific with mumbo in season 7.  also has an industrial district like mumbo’s in season 7.

xisuma: built an automatic potion brewer in the second half of season 7.  this thing churns out potions by the Shulker Box.  can also turn a shulker box full of potions into splash potions and extend duration all with a press of a button.

impulseSV: incredible example of form + function.  farms are scattered throughout his base.  he has a farm for nearly every farmable resource in vanilla minecraft.

etho: the pioneer of some of the most widely used redstone mechanisms to date.  content isn’t super redstone-focused.  mostly does compact modules that serve a specific function.

zedaph: makes strange contraptions.  he’s basically if grian knew how to redstone.  impeccable vibes and fairly underrated.

bdoubleo100: he occassionally does this segment called “redstone with bdubs” and it’s the only redstone i understand so that’s why he’s here.

what about roleplay?  and lore?  

yeah they have Plenty of that too.  

it generally comes in the form of self-contained storylines that involve most members on the server and take place over the course of several weeks in multiple videos.  it’s fairly light roleplay, if that’s not your thing.  but the plotlines also have a Massive Potential to be angsty and whatnot if you really look into it, which a lot of people also do.

here’s a more in-depth look into the Major Plotlines over the last 2 seasons (season 6 and 7).  huge spoiler warning though.

um also there’s this post that highlights how truly cursed hermitcraft can be if you dig deep enough hahaha.

so do the hermits only make hermitcraft content?

nope!!  many of them are involved in other mcyt content as well and are friends with other prominent members of the mcyt community!!  

MCC

mcc9 blue bats video essay: the time the hermit team won the whole damn competition.  a wonderfully made video worth Every second of your time.  especially if you don’t typically watch the hermit teams.

falsesymmetry: mcc10 ace and mcc’s First Back-to-Back Winner

lord grian dreamslayer: that time grian Popped Off, killing dream, tubbo, and fundy in mcc9 survival games

Vault Hunters

a modded minecraft server coded entirely by iskall85′s team.  all the content is streamed live on twitch.  

current members are: Iskall85, AntonioAsh, Stressmonster101, HBomb94, CaptainSparklez, Fundy, CaptainPuffy, 5UP and Tubbo

more info on the series 

3rd Life SMP

hardcore minecraft server with a twist that started on 4/20/21.  all content is posted to each member’s respective youtube channels.

every member has 3 lives, as indicated by the color of their name: green for 3 lives left, yellow for 2, red for 1.  if they lose all three lives, they can only spectate the world (like in hardcore mode).  the series ends when all members have lost all three lives.

the twist: once a member is on their 3rd and final life, as indicated by a red name, they are Hostile and their goal is to take the lives of the remaining players.

the members (hermits are italicized): BdoubleO100, bigbst4tz2, Etho, GoodTimesWithScar, Grian, impulseSV, InTheLittleWood, Renthedog, Skizzleman, Smajor1995, Smallishbeans, SolidarityGaming, Tango, ZombieCleo

the tumblr tag for 3rd Life is “#3rdLife”, “#3rdLifeSMP” and “#3LSMP” if you wanna see more content, as it’s Not supposed to be cross-tagged with “#hermitcraft”.

do you have any free serotonin to spare?

here’s a bunch of posts that’ll make you smile

scar’s friendship with a bunch of the hermits

grian, false, cleo, bdubs, iskall: why they deserve so much respect

same post as above but with an addition about ren

small hermit things that give you serotonin

why you should watch tfc

if you’ve made it this far you are Contractually Obligated* to watch one (1) hermitcraft episode and reblog this post.

*for legal reason, this is a joke.  you’re not contractually obligated but consider this: Please. i spent way too much time on this.

shoutout to everyone who’s posts i’ve linked and anyone who has helped answer a question about hermitcraft.  this all started because i was frustrated that people were writing the hermits off as cannon fodder in mcc and im genuinely so glad that many of you have given hermitcraft a shot.

[sapiowoman28]

OT23 MTL likely to have their v card

Most

Jisung - not just cos of his age - he just seems like the sort who’s afraid of getting fans upset. very conscious of keeping the right image. Plus I think he gives off too much nervous energy to pursue someone. If they pursue him he would probably run and hide.

Sungchan - again he’s young, but he also has this air of innocence about him.

Renjun - sure, he rejected the pure boy image. Sure we have seen him dance to 119 and Havana. He’s even tried humping a tree in the chilling vlog. But you can’t fool us mr Huang. You’re still a virgin.

Mark - he’s overworked, I don’t think he has had the time in between being in 4 units including super m. Plus he’s got strong religious beliefs. Might have fooled around but not gone all the way.

Jaemin - putting him here cos he seems to be very guarded and needs to be in an established relationship before going all the way.

Hendery - He seems like he will take his time. Coming from a family with 3 elder sisters he probably keeps a respectful pace in love and relationships and ensures he’s truly committed before going all the way. probably more interested in gaming than sex.

Yangyang - he probably has a lot of knowledge in his head (thanks Wine Aunt!) but there’s also a very shy side to him. Has an air of innocence too.

Haechan - behind the scenes I really think he takes his work very seriously and is focussed on it, and spends his free time gaming. The only reason why I’m putting him here is he strikes me as being a horn dog. Not only that he’s surrounded by more experienced ppl (cough Johnny)

Jeno - I can’t read jeno. I’m only putting him here cos he was brought up Catholic, and says he is now no longer one. As someone who was brought up Catholic and now says she’s no longer one I’m quite sure he’s catching up on meeting his needs. If he isn’t he’s channeling all his energy into working out

Lele - he’s fearless and very free spirited, the sort who will do what he feels like on a whim. That probably includes anything regarding the opposite sex. Importantly he now stays alone with daegal. After he became a legal adult in Korea it was no longer required by law for him to stay with a guardian so mummy Zhong went back to China. This is why of all the Dreamies I have him as the least likely to be one. The only reason why he’s not 100% wilding is because Kun has him on an invisible leash.

Jungwoo and Sicheng - there’s more to these two that meet The Eye. The whole innocent thing is just an act to me at least. Sicheng was popular in school and age of consent in China is 14. Don’t ask me why it’s so Low.

Doyoung - he sings like his pregnant wife ran away with another man there’s no way he’s inexperienced with love. They mostly ended badly though. Lol and I bet his bro isn’t one

Taeyong - as an expert in cancer men (ok 1 cancer man aka my bf) I can tell you they crave relationships and bonding both physically and emotionally.

Taeil and Kun - these dudes are so chill they must be getting sex on the regular.

Xiaojun - he hung out with the theatre crowd before joining SM. China isn’t as conservative as Korea. Go figure.

Shotaro - have you seen his TikToks? Dude knows what he’s doing. Then he joined SM and they sanitised him. Also age of consent in Japan is 13. I kid you not.

Jaehyun - the smirk on his face says it all. He gets regular pussy. And not the same pussy.

Johnny - dude probably lost it even before he landed on Korean soil. Sorry.

Lucas - another one who lost it before landing on Korean soil (Hong Kongs age of consent is 16 by the way) Lucas seems like the type who always needs to have a gf. If he doesn’t have one he’s pretending his phone is his gf. There was this Weibo live where Lucas joked about having a gf and the look on Kun and Sichengs face looked like they were unhappy he let a secret out in the open.

Ten - patron saint of non virgins

Yuta - not a fucking chance in hell.

Least

[irenedubrovna]

A post regarding Euphoria for the benefit of myself and basically no one else

So, it really bothers me when people say Euphoria is groundbreaking, progressive media. Here’s a dissection of why I don’t think it is, because this is what I feel like doing at work:

The character of Rue is objectively great. She by far receives the least overt sexualization, and is treated neutrally in terms of active sexuality. She’s treated like a normal teenage girl with mental issues and an addiction to drugs. She falls in love with a girl who she pines for and places on a pedestal. The reason I think she is written this way is because she is a Sam Levinson proxy. She written with gender ambiguity and with little regard to the experiences she’d go through as a black gay female, probably because Sam Levinson has no insight to that aspect of life. Her performance is heightened of course by Zendaya, who breathes unique life to the Sam Levinson’s artistic extension, and without her performance this show would not get even half the acclaim it gets. Attribute that to Zendaya of course, because the director has done little to deserve this acclaim.

The rest of the females, sans Lexi, are pornified to a disgusting extent, not only due to the fact that they are supposed to be underage, but also because their existence as people is treated as being absolutely secondary to their sexual appeal. They are foremost presented in terms of their relation to sex. Cassie, Maddy, Jules, and Kat cannot be removed from their sexuality without disrupting the plot or their journeys in relation to the plot. Why are the females so intrinsically linked to uber fetishized versions of female sexuality, or uber fetishized versions of blossoming female sexual identity?

Maddy is presented not only scantily clad 90 percent of the time, but also dressed in a precariously unattainable sexual fashion. At any given time she is styled to look straight out of, simultaneously, a high fashion editorial, and a “barely legal” porno. She is airheaded and profane, and promiscuous, her mannerisms dictated by the adult films she’s “studied” in order to project an image of perfect hyper sexual femininity. She’s complacent in becoming a prototypical housewife because it will earn her a comfortable place as a trophy wife. She has no aspirations beyond that. So, let’s unpack all of that. Maddy’s role in the show is mostly passive. The most active thing she does in the plot is revenge fuck a man in the pool of a party. Nearly everything else she does in the show that is plot relevant is of someone else’s volition. Even less of what she in the show is related to anything other than a man. She is abused and then pressured into framing another man for said abuse. She has no agency as a character. The only notable difference to this rule is when she takes drugs at a carnival, knocks a pot of chili over, and calls her ex’s mom a cunt. Removed from her active sexual life and carefully cultivated aesthetic, she’s a trite stereotype of an unambitious girlfriend who gets treated poorly. I see people call Maddy iconic, but if she wasn’t gorgeous and well dressed, I doubt anyone would even think twice about her, let alone create fancams and Instagram pages dedicated to her. She exists as a plot device, and as pretty set dressing to build up the shows aesthetic. Her emotions are not well explored, her motivations are sexist, and she is often there to be demeaned, objectified, or to say a bad word. The most damning part of her involvement in this show is her episode where it is stated that she, as a fourteen year old girl, lost her virginity to an adult man, and it is stated she was in control of the situation. This is a dangerous thing to say about a character, to any audience, but especially a young one. To imply that a precocious young girl was in control during her first sexual encounter with a much much older man implies things that frankly border on rape apologist ideology. This show states this unflinchingly and with no further elaboration. If there’s one thing that tells you that Euphoria is a bad show, let it be that. Also, if there’s one thing that tells you about Sam Levinson as a person, and the way he views girls and women, let it fucking be that.

Jules is a young trans girl. She also likes to have sex with men as a means to “conquer femininity”. Scratch that, she likes to have degrading sex with older men in order to “conquer femininity”. This mindset is shown to be toxic, of course, but I think the problem with this idea in general is that there’s no deeper exploration for what this mindset means. It implies that she believes women are the sum of their intrigue and degradations. This mindset I can only assume would be a cultivation of dysphoria and internalized misogyny, which this series is absolutely not prepared to address in a tactful manner. Jules is a teenager with mental illness, trauma, and is undergoing an identity crisis. There’s something powerful in her character, something worth saying, however we only get trimmings of those meaningful things, and are ultimately left with a hurtful depiction of a trans girl because all of her musings on womanhood and identity are incomplete, and they fail to reach beyond the surface of their thesis statement. She wears colorful clothing, is overtly feminine and artistic in her presentation. Everything about her screams insecurity over her own womanhood. That is the crux of her character. Now, I think we should ask ourselves, is trans person who is insecure about their identity peak representation? Is this what trans people deserve? Is it “groundbreaking “? If this show was run by someone else, I might be inclined to say that there’s nothing insidious about this, but this is the guy that made Assassination Nation, so I think we know what he thinks of young women, the way they should be portrayed (that is, for the capitulation of a man) and realize his inclusion of a trans woman in his cast is no more meaningful than the inclusion of any other woman. Women to him are made to be categorized and should, at the end of the day, be easily palatable for the capitulation of a man. The device of having Jules being interested in older men and rough sex for identity reasons is transparent. Trans women are exploited and objectified with a similar fervor to cis women, the caveat being that they are “a forbidden fruit” of sorts to straight men. Jules is sissified, her presentation fetishistic. Her role in the plot is more involved. Her relationship with Rue is sweet, though toxic on both sides. She is ultimately betrayed, blackmailed, and snowballs into something of a manic episode, all well portrayed by Hunter Schafer, but I don’t think her inclusion in the show absolves it of any of its many sins.

Let’s talk about Cassie. Cassie is the Eurocentric beauty standard exemplified. She is the blonde haired blue eyed girl next store, and her boobs are of course always on display. She is notably promiscuous, something I say right off the bat because that’s how she’s introduced, as a so called slut through the words of the devil (Nate Jacobs). She is a girl with daddy issues, which we are all familiar with at this point. Her sexual boundaries begin and end at the whim of her partner. The terms of her consent are much like the terms of consent of many young girls brainwashed by society and the rising tide of degradation porn: everything is alright as long as you provide them comfort and affirmation afterward. You can touch them roughly without asking, you can use them as a tool to affirm your masculinity. This is the way men prefer their women now: just broken enough to say yes to anything they want. It’s become a joke at this point. Men like girls with issues, but only the ones that will feed their own desires. Cassie Howard is meek. Her inclusion in the plot I suppose ties to themes of drug addiction and how it divides and destroys the people you love. It doesn’t show what it does to her beyond shaping her sexual encounters, which is no surprise. Overall I’d say Cassie is in this roster of females as the most traditional categorically, in relation to how men view women and further how they sexualize them. She has a relationship with someone who doesn’t really love her. That mostly what she does here. Gets used. Doesn’t drive the plot or conflict much. More pretty set dressing. More aesthetics. How this show consists of so many women but is driven so much by men is unsurprising, and, again, very enlightening in the grand scheme of things.

Lastly we touch on Kat. I’d like to begin with the fact that self actualization through sexual exploration, in a show run by a man, is just a cloak for a woman to gratify the audience with her sexuality. Regardless of whether or not she is plus sized, this is overt objectification. She is on this show to be sexy. Beyond that, the fact that a minor using sex work as a form of liberation is disgusting. Whether or not she is portrayed as “owning” her sexuality is negligible, and speaks to the same mindset discussed with Maddy. Minors cannot fucking consent to sex, sexual acts, or anything within the confines of such. It’s crazy that this occurs with two different characters in such a similar way. It has echoes of “Well, she looked older..” and “Well, she wanted it..” or “She’s advanced for her age”. Never, not once in the events of the series is there meaningful introspection on what doing this kind of thing does to a minor. Moreover, these acts are explicit, and made clearly for sexual gratification. None of these things are absolved by the fact that she’s plus sized. If anything, her body type is fetishized in this context. It’s also another case of a “good girl to bad girl” transformation, which are archaic and, of course, sexist. With the rise of adult websites targeting minors for explicit content, this is even more reprehensible. Once again, in terms of representation, is this really what speaks to you as progressive? Groundbreaking? A girl gains control of her own narrative by having sex with lots of men. She gains control by being sexy. She gains control by dehumanizing and objectifying herself. No she doesn’t. Media controlled by men will tell this story to you thousands of times, don’t listen because she’s bigger than a size four.

ALL OF THESE CHARACTERS ARE UNDERAGE. ALL OF THEM HAVE EXPLICIT SEX SCENES, EVEN THE SEXUAL ASSAULT IS MADE CINEMATICALLY PORNIFIED. THESE SHOTS ARE MADE TO BE OBJECTIVELY SEXY. THIS IS NOT A CASE OF SOMEONE CREATING SOMETHING FOR THE SAKE OF REALISM. IT IS ABOUT MAKING SCENES THAT SPEAK TO A MALE AUDIENCE. THAT CATER TO THE MALE GAZE. ARGUE WITH THE WALL.

I won’t go further into the plot, other characters, or the structure or the episodes for sake of brevity, but I felt compelled to air my thoughts on this to the void. I can only hope I was critical enough that Sam Levinson will one day see this and cry because another bad feminist thinks something that he made sucks

[theblondebondd]

i have finally come to terms with my biggest issue related to sharon's ending. it's not only an issue with just the lack of care for sharon's character, but the lack of respect for assault victims and scenarios in the mcu as a whole, and just a basic poor treatment of women but that's an entirely different discussion.

that is what this post will be about. there's your content warning.

the mcu has many, many flaws, especially regarding how it handles women. but a big thing that does seem to keep coming up is it's lack of respect for assault / sexual violence / etc. there's more examples, i believe, but here are a few just to get this going :

- steve rogers being forcefully kissed by private lorraine in captain america : the first avenger, it being completely ignored how uncomfortable he was, and then the writers having peggy carter shoot, at him as a " punishment " for it. ( let's not pretend that's not what happened or why she shot at him because it's KNOWN as " peggy's jealousy scene " )

- tony stark's " joke " in age of ultron during the party scene where he states confidently that if he is able to lift thor's hammer, he will be ' reinstituting prima nocta. ' the definition of which being : " the semi - historical legal right of a monarch to have sex with any female subject, particularly on her wedding night. " and to further push that they knew it was wrong, that line was in none of the promotional scenes for that movie - the SCENE was, but they used a different line in the ones that showed it up until the release of the movie, meaning they REPLACED the original scene with a joke about forcefully sleeping with women regardless of their consent. ( this is an issue on the shoulders of disney and fiege of course, but even more specifically, joss whedon and robert downey jr., who has it in his contract that no dialogue or plot is used for tony stark without his consent, meaning he green lit or even improvised it - which he is also known to do. )

there is the complete mockery of natasha's story, which was not only handled far little too late, but treated with the utmost disrespect. a woman they have now established to have been a victim of trafficking, severe physical / mental / sexual assault, who was forcefully removed the right of reproduction ( with assumptions being that it partially had to do with dreykov's assault of the widows to avoid repercussions ), was turned into eye candy and hypersexualized her entire journey through the mcu. was written to say that she was a monster because she was unable to have children. who has a scene in iron man 2 where she mostly strips ON CAMERA and is watched by jon favreaou's happy hogan the entire time.

end examples.

this is a reoccurring issue within the mcu. and now they have done it to sharon carter in a way also disrespectful and gross.

sharon carter is a victim of many, many terrible things, and has been since the 90s. this includes torture, starvation, imprisonment, etc all during the time she had been abandoned by shield behind enemy lines after her apparent death.

on of the things she's a victim of is sexual assault. she is a survivor. and she wears those scars proudly, because she knows that even with all of that pain and trauma, she is still a good person. she was able to overcome it all - trauma so bad that it surprises even the worst of creatures. as said to her in volume 3 of captain america :

" fascinating. most mortals worst nightmares are flights of macabre imagination. yours, sharon carter, are actual memories. " ... " i find it deliciously cold in damp in there [ her head ]. what amazes me is that there's any part of you that can still believe in the american dream...after your patriotic spirit was so thoroughly broken...once the spymasters of shield cut you off behind enemy lines all those years ago. how many of your ethics were you forced to cash in just to survive? how long did you spend imprisoned in a filthy cell not large enough for a dog? given the disgusting punishments you had to endure...one would think you'd have turned into a complete cynic. "

she's been through so much that it SURPRISES her opponents - this one in particular ( ie nightmare ) being familiar with people's worst fears and how they change the person. she went through ALL of that and is still a good person.

for fans of her that are also assault survivors, this story means a lot. it's a visual representation of the opposite of everything victims are told - that their experience lessens them or their worth.

being a survivor of these kinds of trauma is a HUGE part of sharon's character. it's the reason she is the way she is today. and not only did the mcu LIE and say they were going to adapt this story, they glossed over the trauma of it and turned her into a villain. a villain at the end of an entire island of criminals where everything goes - *including* trafficking / assault / etc.

they have taken an assault victim and instead of touching on that part of the story they promised to adapt, they said she - as the power broker - condones it instead.

fuck the mcu as a whole and the mcu stans that try to make us feel like we're " not real fans " for this. for trying to harass us over being so angry. we have every right to be.

[phoenixyfriend]

Thoughts on “Auntie Soka and Little Leia” now that I’ve actually got it posted:

Call it a director’s cut! The process of actually writing the thing, and also jokes made along the way. Link to the actual fic.

Unfortunately, I don’t have the energy for image descriptions, even the text screenshots. Might come back that later. Most of this was DMs with @atagotiak​.

This was an entire thing before I even started writing:

Before I decided on ages and stuff Ahsoka, to Jango, who has had zero contact with Kaminoans: Okay I know I'm a Jedi kid so you hate me but this toddler is your clone from the future. Jango, tired: What the FUCK are you talking about. Rex, barely able to talk: Don't you dare leave me with him, Commander! Ahsoka: I'm not going to leave you I just--I'm so tired I'm so fucking tired I haven't slept in five days and someone tried to kidnap Leia two days ago I am so fucking tired I need help

Ben: [twenty years of depression followed by a 'now I'm safe' breakdown over the course of weeks] Sokari: [whatever the FUCK this mess is]

When Ahsoka mentions there only being three other Jedi at the time of her death,  I was thinking Kanan, Yoda, and Obi-Wan (Leia told her about the latter two living past her). She's not counting anyone that received training after the Temple fell, and she didn’t know about Cal.

When Leia says  “I was adopted and raised by one of the founders of the rebellion, a movement built on the desire to instate freedom and democracy in a galaxy that had lost even the pretense.”

Depa: I'm no therapist but I diagnose you with "incredibly fucked up." Ahsoka: yeah, that’s fair

"Why did you pick Depa for--" She's pretty and I'm gay. Also because of the Kanan thing But mostly I'm gay "It's not a visual medi--" GAY

Empty of context beyond general post-fic AU: "Hey Sokari, we need to engage in psychological warfare against this individual and--" "I'm going to break into his office and leave a threatening note on his desk and leave no other sign that I was there. He'll see that his security is nothing and the only reason he isn't dead is because I'm too nice to kill him." "...okay, not what we were planning, but that works. Why is that your first choice?" "I really like breaking and entering, it's soothing." Ben just standing there with a bland smile like This Is Normal.

"We need someone to infiltrate a highly guarded facility in hostile territory." "So we're sending the Torrent kids?" [sigh] "We're sending the Torrent kids."

Rex and Sokari insist on both going by "Torrent" even though Rex could be a Fett. Jango really wants him to be a Fett. Rex has too many grudges to agree to being a Fett for... a while.

I really hope it's blatantly obvious that Ahsoka's not a reliable narrator for some things Ahsoka: Fett could care less if I died Jango: jfc even if you are older than me I can see you're fucked up. Drink your hot chocolate. Hells. She's got good reason to expect him to hate her as a Jedi! BUT. THAT IS NOT REFLECTIVE OF REALITY

We don’t get a lot of actual characterization for Jango, but the way I played him out here is he has never really parsed that Jedi are people before all this. It's a lot harder to treat them as a monolith when the traumatized former child soldier is having regular breakdowns in your shitty little kitchen

Fett: I respect you Ahsoka: No, don't do that

Ahsoka’s vigilantism is something that, in my mind, she's associating heavily with Zygerria and then the clones.

I figured that she never bothered to learn Quinlan’s teacher’s name but in the process of looking up some basic facts (whether he had a surname), I found that Wookiepedia was forced to give us a VERY wide range of possible death in Legends.

Please take a moment to imagine Quinlan's FACE when Ahsoka initially dismisses him. Quinlan has put a lot of effort into being rogueishly charming! It's very useful for his line of work! He knows to expect either irritation or a return flirtation when he acts like this with people his own age! Ahsoka is not flustered OR rolling her eyes and insulting him, she's just ignoring him and it's a bit of a blow to the ego

This just makes me really happy:

This was the initial comment I made, as a joke What if Maul is just. There. On one of the planets they make a pitstop at. What if Maul exists as the walking problem he is, but fifteen, and Ahsoka immediately tries to kick his ass and drag him back to Coruscant. I do not have room for this plot but What If

Despite not having room for this plot, I proceeded to write this plot.

Maul is kidnapped and it’s the best thing that ever happened to him HE'S FIFTEEN HE'S DUMB AS SHIT AND HAS A BAD ATTITUDE AND YEAH HE'S A DARKSIDER BUT HE'S FIFTEEN

Ahsoka: I sense... Maul [takes off sprinting] Rex: [immediately takes Jango's blaster and runs after her] Jango: Wait who Tholme: Who Quinlan: Who Jango: [looks at Leia] Leia: I don't know who that is either! Ahsoka, already wrestling a teenager to the ground: Oh no, you're a child, REX STUN HIM AND GRAB THE CUFFS, I'M SURE FETT OR THOLME HAS SOME

Fighting him isn't even legal, they have NO evidence of criminal wrongdoing, so first she needs to yell until he admits to something she can fight him about

Ahsoka: When I see Maul, it's on SIGHT Maul: WHO ARE YOU

Ahsoka: The Force didn't give me hands just to NOT throw them when I run into That Crafty Son Of A Bitch

Ben, when they arrive, after the tearful reunion: You... you brought Maul. Ahsoka: Well, yeah, he's fifteen and kinda dumb. I figured we could drag him here and force him into therapy, see what happens. Ben: I can't quite tell through the gag, but I think he's threatening to feed you your own spleen. Ahsoka: Lol, yeah.

Ben is absolutely on team "get Maul therapy" and will fight the Council on rehabilitating the baby Sith But also it's like. Here's your daughter! And your niece! And your daughter's QPP! Also your best friend, but baby, and his teacher, and the biological origin of a number of people you cared for deeply! AND ALSO THE GUY WHO SPENT LITERAL DECADES CRAVING YOUR DEATH, FOR SOME REASON

I just really want Ahsoka lovingly bullying Maul She gives him noogies and the horns don't protect him because girl has reinforced gloves

Maul's only allowed a low-power training saber and his fights with Sokari involve Much Taunting by her and Eventual Screaming by him, and everyone pops by to see: 1. Sokari doing the most absurd flips, for fun. 2. The bullshit that is ataru-shien reverse-grip jar'kai in the hands of someone who makes it work 3. What a Sith lightsaber form looks like 4. Just the general nonsense that is the way these two fight

Tia said “Wrt ridiculous flips. I'm remembering that time she beheaded four Kryst'ad at once.” and I just Rex brings up the quadruple beheading at one point to get someone to stop asking questions and the awkward, horrified silence almost makes him regret it. And then Sokari just snorts and makes a joke about how Rex once speared a slaver point-blank and everyone's just like hello??? "are you two okay" "no"

Maul absolutely starts crushing on Sokari after a 'sword under chin' moment and she's just very "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you're fifteen, bye" GO MAKE PUPPY EYES AT OBI-WAN OR SOMETHING

The crushes are the worst part of everything, really, she's an attractive young woman that can kick a lot of ass, and a lot of people are into that! Unfortunately, most of those people are a decade younger than she is, mentally, because all the people her actual age look at her and see a child on account of the 17yo body.

It’s almost a good thing she’s in no place mentally for a relationship.

I just want Ahsoka to wear beskar.... I think that would be Nice........

This AU is also what caused this post.

I'm deeply enamored by the idea that Ahsoka can win fights against "older" padawans pretty much unilaterally, even when they team up 2v1 And then she offers to fight 5v1 "But only if I have permission to fight dirty." Ben approves it, a horror show full of "I fought many wars and will scream in your face or kick you in the balls if that's what it takes" follows She wins. There are no permanent injuries, but her reputation certainly gets weirder. Nobody under the rank of Knight agrees to let her fight dirty again. She just lets that stand because, well, she's not actually a padawan, she's thirty-three.

I’m not going to write this but my brain was EVIL and suggested it:

IT WOULD BE REALLY SAD IDK maybe 9yo Anakin has nightmares about what's happening to baby Ahsoka because bullshit about time-traveling force bonds IDK ANYWAY he cries to Sokari about the nightmares and she's like "oh shit" and it's time to go rescue herself from motherfucker unlimited

It's either that or she's like, expecting to welcome mini-me aaaany day now, for like, several months, before she realizes Something Went Wrong. Anakin’s dreams could even start right as she’s starting to realize something’s off.

Obi-Wan has never had a padawan that doesn't at some point bite Even Luke will, when pushed

OH also once the twins get Baby's First Lightsaber (training sabers, not real kyber), Sokari begs to borrow them for a dumb joke and tells Rex to get on her shoulders for a "Grievous Greeting" and they do The Thing

Jango and Ahsoka wrt Quinlan is just “Do I need to beat him up for you” “You realize I’ve beaten up sith lords before?”

JANGO'S TRYING He's just. "Can we be friends? Can I--can I be the guy that just noticeably gets in the way of a creep on the subway so you can be more comfortable without someone making a scene? I'm fucking trying here, give me a hint."

We didn’t actually figure out Jango’s age until this point. The only reason Fett's age matters is for Quinlan making a Wild Oats quip after Jango says he didn't know about Rex until a few weeks ago, and Fett going "How old do you think I am? And how old do you think the kid is?" and Quinlan getting Very Awkward as he does the math. Rex overhears and lets Quinlan sweat for a bit before saying "I'm a genetically-modified clone someone grew in a tube, he didn't know or have reason to know until he saw me with Sokari." Which is like. Eight additional layers of WTF, obviously, but at least Jango gets to avoid awkward wild oats jokes

Like, you’d expect the rebuttal to be ‘he’s my brother just with a biiig age gap’ or ‘he’s my nephew’

I find it very unfortunate for Quinlan that I've decided his defining characteristic in this context is going to be repeatedly putting his foot in his mouth

He’s trying so hard but "That sounds like a cool thing, maybe I'll ask ab--and it's another fucking trauma."

I'm doing Ahsoka&Jango t w i c e (there’s another fic where I’m doing it)

It’s just a fun dynamic! So much resentful respect.

Like she's twenty seconds away from calling him a bitch at any given time and he's just there like "I don't like you but I do see you move like you're about to tell an entire building to get on their knees with their hands in the air and I can respect that" Also she's probably much less judgmental about using blasters than Obi-Wan is The Maul subplot actually started with me daydreaming about Ahsoka grabbing a blaster for Reasons

I like the idea of Jango just deciding the most Useful thing he can do is help teach the Smol how to fight. He's AWKWARD around Rex and Soka because he doesn't know if there's anything he CAN teach them.

I didn’t actually plan for Tholme to figure out the age thing, he just SAID it and I had to sit there like Wait.

Ahsoka, Rex & Leia: ahhh, children Tholme: you say that like you aren’t children

I liked getting to write Rex's little "I have worked with all of them, and they're all Terrible" He loves them But They once got stranded on a planet that didn’t exist and Ahsoka died and Anakin killed a god.

There was research and discussion as to whether Ahsoka could win against Tholme but seeing as she held her own against Vader, and fought Grievous at that physical age without dying, etc.... yeah, the only thing holding her back was her body not being what she was used to, and she’s had a few weeks go adjust.

“I miss being able to just jump off skyscrapers” is such a jedi thing

Jango: I'll take the gun back if he tries to leave, they can't get far before--WHAT THE FUCK He knows Jedi are scary but he’s still not really used to just how over the top ridiculous they are He knows how to deal with Jedi in battle, not Whatever The Fuck These People Are Doing

Rex isn't even a Jedi, he's just so used to working with them. “Oh yes time for free-falling without a parachute again, same shit as always.”

Tia: I’m imagining Jango freaking out and Quinlan and Tholme being like. Concerned but mostly exasperated Clearly if they’re jumping off buildings it must be serious? But jfc they could’ve maybe communicated a bit more?

Leia: I want to finish my juice Tholme: Quin, stay with her while we go figure out what those two are doing. Quinlan: Wait what

Jango: Oh now he’s jumping off a building too??? Tholme: Sokari, you are not registered! You can't legally jump out windows yet! Jango: What the hell is going on? Is this normal?

We don’t necessarily know how often Ahsoka and Maul ran into each other after Mandalore. There was the later thing on Malachor, but other than that I'm just going with the idea that they ran into each other every year or two and just went for the eyes like feral cats

Ahsoka: I need to kick ass and you're coming with me. Rex: Yeah, okay. [several minutes later] Rex: Whose ass are we kicking?

Ahsoka and Rex

Neloms aren’t a SW fruit to the best of my knowledge, I just wanted to mess around with lemons/melons

Jango: you didn’t think any of this through, did you? Rex: you were there, you know we didn’t "When the Jedi says to jump out a window, I jump out a window."

Tholme’s real composed about stalking the ancient nigh-mythical enemy of his people, very “Life is already so goddamn weird”

This fic has been so heavy on the trauma but then I introduce Maul and suddenly it's the worst kind of comedy Nobody is competent, everyone's a little dumb, the bad guy is just grocery shopping

My propensity for banter has turned this into a six-person buddy cop comedy about Maul buying grapes They spend a significant amount to time ineffectually stalking Maul before Quin suggests the sensible option Quinlan just "You remember this is my literal job and specialty right"

Ahsoka sees Maul and all her brain cells go out the window except "Fight good" Usually she doesn’t need to worry about doing things legally. Maybe she needs to worry about someone seeing her do illegal things but she spent the past 15 yrs in a place where her existing was illegal

I feel like he’s also maybe kinda wanting to reassert that yes he is competent. Bc like. Ahsoka’s been kinda condescending this whole time and also can beat everyone up so. It's not his fault that he's actually the youngest person there, but.

Jango is finding this whole being friendly to Jedi thing a lot more overwhelming than he thought it would be. And overwhelming in different ways.

Maul usually signifies things getting worse and more horrifyingly tragic but he's just a dumb teen that they needed to arrest for his own good.

Quinlan: Look, I'm useful! Ahsoka: I've been through hell, wanna hear? Quinlan: NO. I DON'T. WHY.

Quinlan: I understand the concept of joking about your traumas, I do it sometimes myself! But sith hells that’s a lot of trauma.

Quinlan just wanted her to treat him as a Competent Individual, and here she is whipping out stories about Dying and Gods and the Force insists it's the truth and he just???? And apparently emo darksider over there is a Sith. And just, sure. Why not

A lot of people’s interactions with the time travelling disaster lineage is just

Tholme and Fett arguing and  Ahsoka's just waiting for a moment to pop in with "Hey, when's the last time either of you worked with the other's culture before this mess? Yeah, that's what I thought."

Much like Leia and Ahsoka hurting each other earlier, and Tholme figuring out the de-aging, we ALSO have Fett’s confrontation with Ahsoka being something the characters just did, rather than something I planned.

FTR the only time I managed to trigger myself while writing this fic was the “your behavior isn’t actually acceptable and we’ve all been trying really hard to give you room to recover but you have to at least make an effort to not be a bitch”

Writing about people having PTSD and symptoms of such: Yay! Writing about people having PTSD and engaging in toxic behavior to cope: Shit Ahsoka had... basically my exact reaction. It's "remind yourself that you're in the wrong, that they have a point, and then be overly formal in the apology because fuck if you accidentally make them feel sorry for you when they're the injured party"

Quinlan: Can we be friends? I mean, you're an asshole, but you're really cool. Let's be friends. (He MIGHT be nursing a crush) (Neat mysterious girl who can beat him up.)

Also he realises she's probably nicer when not having a slow-motion breakdown He's like "Huh, you'll probably be less of an asshole once you've gotten therapy."

...also, she pretty and got Nice Biceps

I love writing a good mental breakdown

I was so close to including a "he tried to kill me" just early enough for Jango to wildly misinterpret as her thinking Quinlan tried to kill her. He'd have been very confused, considering Quinlan's the one that called them down in a panic and currently has Ahsoka having her massive breakdown in his lap But

Tia:  I could see Jango interpreting it as idk, Quin resembling someone or for a moment acting like someone who tried to kill her and she had a flashback or something like that

There's absolutely room for a couple reasonable interpretations there And "trapped in a flashback about someone who tried to kill her" is absolutely what's happening! Just. You know. For a different reason. Jango probably wouldn’t assume Quin would hurt her, for one thing he seems to like her, for another even if he did he’s smart enough to pick a way that wouldn’t be so likely to get him caught

I had to step back and actually say “Also I'm just. Wow. I'm really just shoveling QPP Rex&Ahsoka at full speed”

Me, a few weeks ago, joking: Two halves of the same idiot black ops specialist Me, now, entirely seriously: Two halves of the same idiot black ops specialist

Me, belatedly: Oh, Ahsoka being joyfully mean to people was a form of mania she was unconsciously using to build a barrier between herself and her impending meltdown

She went from "just died" to "in charge of Rex and Leia" in like. Two minutes.

Confession: I've been delighting in the mental image of this whole Mess leading Jango to try to retake Mandalore, and Ahsoka loans him a saber for a 1v1 to get the darksaber.

“Can’t I just fight him barehanded? That’s how I did it on Galidraan.” "But the drama, Fett!"

Probably Rex has learned how to use a saber as well, because you never know when you have to borrow a weapon

I later changed my mind to Jango asking her to help, rather than her just sneak-teaching him, but it was funny.

Background nonsense to all this is Ahsoka and Rex, despite Rex being as force-sensitive as a lump of coal, having developed a process where she can extend her sensitivity to him mind-to-mind for weird symbiotic battle trance that scares everyone around them. It’s very similar to Battle meditation.

CONTEXT FOR LEIA BEING WORRIED ABOUT THOLME HIDING THINGS: Tholme is hiding the fact that the Council reached out and told him that the people he picked up might be connected to Ben and Luke, who showed up after the Depa thing but a solid week and change before Jango's ship makes it to the Temple. They asked that he not share that information to avoid getting anyone's hopes up in case the two situations aren't related. Ben and Luke haven't shared enough information for anyone to really be sure if the other three are connected Because the info Tholme has isn't quite the info Jango has, etc. And they can't just say Ben is a future Obi-Wan over comms

I just have a lot of feelings about people trying to do something right and just. Nobody's at fault! Not really! It's just complicated!

Tia: I like how when Ahsoka isn’t doing maladaptive trauma response stuff she’s very mature. And of course she’s had to be but it’s a good like, contrast. Where when she slows down to think about things she’s very sensible

Jango just spends most of this story lowkey wanting Ahsoka to Be His Friend but there's too much baggage that he's only metaphysically responsible for

Local aroace(?) has a squish

Ahsoka: He just wants to get on my good side because of Rex. Jango: I'm pretty sure you could kill an entire army without trying but you wouldn't because you have actual morals and stuff... and when I met you it was because you were killing yourself trying to keep (what appeared to be) children safe... you seem cool please be my friend.......

Ahsoka’s #1 weakness: mountains of trauma Ahsoka’s #2 weakness: she just doesn’t get why so many people think she’s cool and want her to be their (girl)friend

Jango, a 27yo massacre survivor who's killed Jedi masters with his bare hands: [gets lectured on various government structures by a tiny girl that's missing several teeth and needs to sit on books to see the table properly]

Ahsoka was raised in a religious meritocracy but developed all her opinions during a galactic war and then became a vigilante spy, Rex comes from a military cult, Leia is from an inherited monarchy that participates in democracy, Quinlan was originally from what appears to be a dynastic dictatorship, and IDK about Tholme other than that he is also from the religious meritocracy. And in legends Quinlan came to the religious meritocracy after his aunt sacrificed his parents to a vampire cult and then forced him to experience the psychometric echoes of that. There's just. A lot going on.

Leia at least has knowledge about structure and admin in theory that isn't based in either the military or populations under 10k

Jango: I want to be your friend. Ahsoka: Sounds fake.

I am unfairly fond of "Rex destroys a conversation by bringing up his own horrifying childhood and calling it a cult"

"Why does Sokari call you 'Rex'ika'?" "Because she's older than me." "...can I--?" "No."

Nickname privileges are extended ONLY to Ahsoka and older clones. There are no more older clones, so it's just Ahsoka.

Me joking about Star Wars AUs: Would you like a crackship? Me writing actual Star Wars fic: My favorite character type is apparently “too traumatized to have a relationship” so this is at least 90% gen.

I had to pull a scene opening at one point because Ahsoka's skill with not getting shot is actually much less useful than Tholme's clearance levels.

Now I really want a team-up of Ahsoka, Rex, and Jango where they do have to get in a dogfight of the "she flies, we shoot" variety and Fett just has to scream because the speeder thing to catch Maul was one thing, but this....

Ahsoka, before TCW: I know all the traffic rules but I'm not that great at flying! Ahsoka, after TCW: I'm great at flying but if you let me behind the wheel we are absolutely getting arrested.

She went from "knows the rules but doesn't have the skills" to "has the skills but primarily in the form of not getting shot" which! Is delightful! "Bet I can get us through that alley--" "DO NOT"

Jango and Ahsoka are both just very "Is this friendship? Is this camaraderie? My heart's been fried on platonic love by so many murders that I'm not sure anymore." "I've lost a lot of friends. I kind of forgot how to make those."

I have no idea if "hasn't been closer than Alderaan except that one trip to Chandrila" is canon-compliant but ehhhhhhhh It feels plausible enough?

Belatedly realized that I could just explain my optimal Rex&Ahsoka dynamic as just... drift compatible. It's vague enough on the specifics while still digging into the meat of what they mean to each other and how they work together. The terminology is already in existence. I can just use it.

Romantic? Platonic? Familial? Doesn't matter! They're drift compatible.

They are important to each other and that is what matters

I really like the Leia&Quinlan thing. He's just like "This small child needs a friend that isn't super depressed," and decided he's going to be her friend. I keep trying to toss in "Quinlan volunteers to 'baby'sit." She's not much older and she has a Baby Brain, it works out

There's a running bet as to whether Leia will leave the Order the second she turns thirteen, or if she'll let Sokari "train" her for a few years first. And... that’s how I came up with Leia Antilles, Senator of Serenno.

They'll be bullshitting Ben as her new master to "finish out the padawanship" since they can't tell everyone she's really in her thirties and he's conveniently there and already knows everything and was half her master anyway. Like Ben was planning on taking on Luke, but Luke is "six" and even he can't swing that as old enough to be a Padawan, and it's not like Sokari will take more than a handful of years to justify knighthood, sooooooooo

[swtki]

My Game - Spencer Reid x Reader

This is a part 2 to Teachers Pet

SUMMARY: After Y/Ns little test, she takes Dr. Reid up on his offer. She also takes him back to the apartment. 

WARNINGS: 18+ CONTENT, SMUT, FEM READER, PROFFESOR-STUDENT, TEACHER REID, ORAL (FEMALE RECIEVING), PENATRATIVE SEX, SEMI DOM-SUB

It had been three days since Dr. Reid emailed me. I hadn’t texted him yet, too afraid of not knowing what to say. When I pulled that little stunt at his desk, I expected nothing to come of it. Just seeing his cute and pink face was enough of a reward. But it was obvious to me in the days following, he wanted to cross his finish line.

My phone sat comfortably in my hands, the series of numbers lining the top of my screen. I had not an inkling of an idea of what I would say. Should I go casual? Professional? Sexy? I mean, did anyone ever know how to aproach their crush?

Y: It’s Y/N, sorry I took so long. I’ve been kinda busy.

S: No worries, I was beginning to think I had read the room incorrectly. What are your plans for Saturday night? Theres a great Italian restaurant next to where I’m staying in DC.

Y: That sounds wonderful, actually. I’ll meet you there at 7?

S: Perfect.

I reluctantly pulled my figure from the sofa, and soon eagerly jumping into the shower. When the water hit my face the entire day melted away, and left only the anticipation of that night. I felt so special, I mean I was living my most vivid fantasies and not every woman gets to do it with a genius professor.

With my makeup carefully applied, and my dress matching my shoes, I started down the stairs. As my heels made a clicking noise, I started to feel a familiar flutter in my stomach. I was nervous; First date nervous. Though I had met him many times, and most recently met his body with mine, the event of a first date was a pâté of emotions.

The door of the restaurant was cold against my hand. I didn’t expect a high end dining experience, and when I walked in the entry way I was glad it wasn’t. The entry way was filled with cozy items. The faded rose pattern on the wallpaper complimented the display of family photos.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for a tall brunette man, it was a table for two.” I said to the hostess. She paused for a second, tapping on her tablet as she checks the current table descriptions.

“Ah yes, party of two for Reid?”

I confirmed and she led me through a hallway to our left, which led into a small dining area. The room walls were a burgundy color, illuminated by the candle sitting at the head of each table.

I thanked the woman as I walked toward Spencer. He looked a tad bit cleaner than usual, his hair was combed and tucked away behind his ears.

“Oh, here let me get that for you.” He rose from his seat and rushed over to the chair across from him.

“How gentleman like, Doctor.” He laughed and we both took our seats.

“Please, call me Spencer.” His form was more relaxed than it usually was in class, giving him a calmer and peaceful demeanor.

Dinner progressed, a glass of wine was nursed, and he insisted on paying our check. Though I had been on dates before, this felt like my first real adult date.

“How did you get here?” He inquired as we stepped onto the rough parking lot terrain.

“I took a cab, I’m thinking I may catch the train though.” I said. His mouth spread into a displeased expression.

“Nonsense, please let me drive you home. I would hate for those statistics we learned last week be applied in this manor.” I laughed and rolled my eyes. I hesitated to answer for a moment, instinctually I looked down and shifted my weight on my feet. The thought of him driving me home could end up in a number of ways; Mostly good. But, if I did take the train, it would end in a few ways; Mostly unmentionable.

“Alright, since you asked nicely.” His cheeks grew red as he avoided eye contact with me. I knew right then where our night would likely head.

“Would you like to come up? We can have a drink if you aren’t hell-bent on going to sleep before nine-thirty.” I joked with him.

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t want you to feel forced into anything because I know that theres a certain expectation when-“

“Spencer, if I didn’t want to fuck you, I wouldn’t have asked you up.”

Sure, having to say it in blatant terms is less than sexy, but thats what I adored about our dynamic at that point; I led the relationship.

I leaned into my fridge, purposefully bending over so my skirt lifted to show my ass.

“Well...fuck,” I said, “As it would turn out, someone stole my wine bottle and filled my fucking vodka bottle with water.” I stood up and shut the door, walking over to the counter inches away.

“One time I took the drink turn when it came to our friend-team-dinner-night, the bottle was forty dollars, which granted is the cheap wine more or less. To this day I still have no idea who stole the bottle, because I wanted to take it home.” Spencer reminisced. I laughed at his unusual way of trying to understand.

“Wasn’t really mine to begin with,” I started walking over to the sofa where he patiently sat. “I’m not of legal drinking age. But of course it tastes better when its forbidden, everything does.” I stepped in front of the man, his knees only an inch from my shin. "Can I touch you, Spencer?” I said in a soft voice, the lids of my eyes relaxed in a sweet shift.

“Y-yes.” He gasped, obviously so turned on by the way I stood over him, in power of him. I threaded his hair through my fingers and tugged back, pushing his head as far up as I could. His eyelids fell and he was no longer looking at me.

“Look at me, sweetheart. I want you to see everything.” He opened his eyes, his irises were colored with lust and desperation. I connected our lips in a long a sweet kiss. Rather than just having a mess of tongues, the kiss was filled to the brim with emotion, of pleasure that this was happening again. His lips were slightly swollen when I pulled away to unbutton his shirt. While I fiddled with the garment, he put his hands on my hips firmly.

“Can I- can you sit on my lap?” he asked, a red tint forming on his face. I smiled and obliged, sliding his shirt off of his lean torso. I started kissing him once more, this time I made sure to press my dripping panties against the large tent in his trousers.

“Would you like to take this to the bedroom?” I ask,hands resting comfortably on his neck.

“Please”, I stood and laced our hands together, leading him to my bedroom. Once we both entered through the doorway, I pushed him onto the bed, he fell softly.

I reached my hands behind my back to unzip my dress, as I felt it fall past my legs and onto the floor, I saw his eyes scan every detail of my body.

“One might say you were planning this.” He eyed my matching lace set.

“Wanted to make sure Spencer Reid had the best.” I replied, climbing on top of him so that I would be straddling him. I felt his hands connect to my waist as we kissed, his hands were warm and excited me even more. He pulled away, quickly pressing his lips to my neck and collarbone. My breath hitched in my throat as he bit down lightly on the skin. “Lets get these off, shall we?” I motioned to his pants, which had to be killing him right now. While he does that, I reach into my drawer and retrieve a condom, laying against the plush material of my pillows after I set it down on the table.

He gets on top of me , pressing his lips with mine as he rubs the back of my bra, signaling he wants me to take it off. I ,of course, reach back and unhook it, tossing it onto the floor. He grabs my tit while dancing his tongue with mine, making me more wet than I thought was possible. Usually, these actions signified a need for control, but when Spencer did it, it was like a desperate sixteen year old boy. Its clear he needed me.

“Can I...” he nods down to my cunt, still covered by the thin material of my panties.

“Can you what, Spencer?” I lace my fingers in his hair and pull, earning a soft groan from the man hovering over me.

“Can I please eat you out?” He begged. I smiled and pushed his head down, spreading my legs when his face met my stomach. He started by taking his thumb and rubbing over my clothed pussy. I bucked my hips, desperate for more friction. “Is it okay for me to take these off?” His eyes met mine, searching for confirmation. I smiled and nodded, moving my hands to stroke his hair rather than tug at it.

As his fingers latched onto the last piece of fabric that covered me, instinctually I pushed my hips upwards. He looked at me, silently asking if taking the garment off was still okay. When I bit my lip, a rose hue covered his face. He was flustered by me, by the escalation of us. But nevertheless, he slowly pulled off the last piece of modesty I had.

To re-assure him, I lightly tugged at his hair. Thankfully, he took the hint and licked a long stripe on my clit. My voice was caught in my throat as he continued making flat-tongued movements. I felt his hands slowly wrap around my thighs, pushing my heat into his face more than it already was.

He devoured me without hesitation, but when he pulled away for air he replaced it with two fingers and then when my stomach tensed and my eyes rolled back into my head, he used three. I finished with his mouth sucking on my bundle of nerves and his fingers buried inside me.

“Do you want to keep going?” He raised his head up and his thumb stroked my thigh, which he was still grasped onto.

“Yes, God yes please, Spencer.” I whined, the high fading away. He stood up off the bed and removed his strained boxers. He was beautiful; His lanky form was now a lean masculine type. I smiled at him, to which he obviously thought he was being laughed at. He couldn’t make eye contact with me, resulting to the floor instead. “Spencer,” I crawled towards the edge of my bed and placed my hands on his shoulders, “You are so gorgeous, the reason I’m smiling is because you always hide it in those sweater vests.” he relaxed.

“Thanks” he mumbles, still avoiding my eyes.

“Now please, come back here and let me take care of you.” He climbed back onto the bed while I rested against the pillows. He was nervous, and obviously he wanted to do it right. I could see his hands shaking as he unwrapped the condom and put it on.

“You’re sure?” He asks, the tip of his cock resting on the top of my inner thigh. He was easily six inches, my hand could probably wrap around and be too small.

“Yes, please fuck me.” He slowly inserted himself into my dripping cunt, causing me to let out a lewd string of words. Once again, my hands flung to his hair and tugged harshly, causing his arms to almost buckle beneath his own weight. I could feel his pelvis against mine, his muscular bottom torso pressed up against my clit. “Move, baby, its okay.” I reassure him. His hips pull away from mine, then snap back with a nice pressure. He quickly started to pick up his pace, small grunts escaping through his clenched jaw. “Do you like the feeling of your pathetic little cock inside my cunt? I bet you feel like a special little bitch now.” I moaned into his ear. “Well, are you going to tell me how much you enjoy my cunt?”.

“God, yes! I love it so fucking-“ his moan paused the sentence and he focused on getting his movements right.

“So fucking what? Go on, finish the sentence baby.”

“So fucking good, I love being inside of you so much!” He was practically whimpering in pleasure.

“Be a good boy and make me cum all over that pretty little cock of yours?” I struggled to contain my moans, I could not fall apart this quickly.

“Yes I will!” His fingers reached down to rub my clit, impressively keeping a steady rhythm. I felt the knot in my stomach becoming hotter and hotter as the minutes passed by.

“Oh my god, such a good- oh my god!” my eyes rolled back into my head as the impact of my orgasm was full forced. When my head cleared, I tugged on his hair, pulling his head so he could look me in the eye. “Gonna cum soon? Are you going to cum all inside of me?” his thrusts got off beat, he was close.

“Yes, I’m gonna-“

“Ask permission to cum, Spencer.”

“Can I please cum inside of you? Please?” He whines.

“Of course you can, baby.” With that he makes a strained moaning noise and his hips slowly stop moving. We’re both panting, while he flushes the condom I walk into the bathroom next to him. I turn to the shower and twist the hot water knob.

“We might as well get clean together, yeah?” I said.

“Yeah.” he smiles and kisses me once more.

[lnane]

zero pressure to explain this to my american ass if you dont have the energy, but like.

whats sweden like, as someone who lives there? im always fascinated to hear about other parts of the world from the people who know them best, and i dont hear much about sweden in general, so ive got a lot to learn.

if thats too broad of a question, some suggestions: how do you feel about the weather, or the politics, or the holidays?

whats a nuisance yall joke about (like, over here in usamerica, its usually the military-industrial complex, or costly healthcare)?

or, whats something unique about sweden, or something that you think more people should know about it?

well we can do this in order of things that pop in my head, very disorganized.

to start of with weather: its getting too hot. the weather is actually pretty comfortable most of the time, and these last summers have been the best ive managed in my experience with heat, but you can tell by the climate that its too hot. its too dry, and theres very little snow during winter. its still cold as fuck, but no snow somehow. I wish it rained more. but on a day to day basis, weathers comfy. A bit windy sometime.

holidays i got very little thoughts on myself. theres a few of them and most are just days off. Im not too fond of the way we celebrate them but then again ive only been allowed to and wanted to drink for 2 years worth of them, so i havent gotten into it yet (yea alcohol is the biggest reason we actually still celebrate things i think)

politics is a fucking hellscape rn. the barely disguised neo-nazi party recently got the most amount of votes in the election so the right wing parties is in control. Theyve already started talking dumb shit about climate politics and immigrants. Not looking up. Beyond that i dont know much about the political landscape.

I dont know what a typical swede complains or jokes about because i dont hang out with a lot of them. I know gas prices is a common thing right now. We also have a trend in comedy calling norwegians idiots, which doesnt make sense because we hate denmark way more.

Its hard to say whats unique or special bout sweden because to be all of it is normal. Only real things you need to know is 1. if a swede tries to claim they cant speak english with you, only plausible conlusion is that they didnt finish middleschool (passing grade in english is mandatory), 2. anything that is a traditional swedish meal is pretty much garbage. Its mostly mildly spiced meat, potatoes, and some sauce similar to gravy.

I guess one thing thats a big difference from the american perspective is how our education looks through the years. First 9 are mandatory, ages 7-15 grade 1-9, in stages called Low, Middle, and High stage. After that, you legally have the choice to keep studying or to do something else (socially and economically you dont have that chocie), and at that point you choose your own education. The most common ones being things like Civics, Naturesciences, Technology, and Fine Arts (Art, Dance, Photo, Music, and theatre). Theres a bunch more but these the top picks. Usually lasts 3 years which after you should be around 18 years old and most of the time expected to apply for uni. And during that time you do get money for going to school (seperate from loans, and not a lot of money).

I can probably provide some more detailed information about what its like here with questions about specific parts, but keep in mind that i also know very little about this country. I just live here