#for lack of a better term let's say brainrot

[pzychojinx]

not to be emo not to be emo not to be emo not to be emo but. linkin park. new music. actual new music. actual new [YELLS INTO THE VOID] 

[majimasleftasscheek]

Honestly if it’s ok I would like to hear your thoughts on Kazumi? I’m having brain rot at the idea of Kiryu being a drag queen or gender-fluid and there’s like no one talking about it and I just wanted to know how you’d picture it because your goromi headcanon is just so well thought out- if this is a weird question or a hard one to answer I’m sorry it’s my first time doing this-

no worries, I LOVE talking about good shit like this 👀

SO KAZUMI

I don't particularly see her as genderfluid like I do Goromi but!! I do see her as a drag identity, just not as bold as the former.

Kazumi in a sense is very much how I interpret Goromi - that being she's pretty much the same dude but now in a wig but with a few changes.

she'd for sure have a Kiryu-esque seriousness to dressing up as in treating it like some kind of mission than a more casual thing. she'd have to be reminded like yo this ain't a substory, you can put your lipstick on without the concentration of someone fighting for their life.

in a way being Kazumi is a sort of break for Kiryu. he HAS to chill out and it's rough at first but eventually he's like okay, this is okay, I can just be

she's even more quiet and reserved than Kiryu already is, preferring to be left alone. it's a mix of not exactly knowing how to feel in drag and general internalized embarrassment so she's not up to being social about it. there's certainly an uncharacteristic lack of confidence on her part and needs a bit of encouragement to really feel like she isn't looking ridiculous.

Kiryu seems like, a by the book type of guy, due to his upbringing and general way he carries himself, so putting on drag is very alien to him. like, he can certainly see other people doing it. but himself? wild. that said, he's bold and fairly immune to what people think of him but something about being Kazumi, for a good chunk of time, is very intimate, especially if he's around people he knows.

when she's with people she trusts, that's when she starts having a good time, maybe even being a lil bombastic then immediately covering her mouth when she laughs too loud. but if her present company comforts her, she'll be happy to let slip a more excitable version of herself. it helps knowing that, for the time, she's just someone else and that someone else can do whatever the fuck they want. it's even better that few people would recognize her, let alone even think a guy like Kiryu is Kazumi at first glance.

Kazumi is a bit of a tease, a bit more sensual. not flagrantly obvious but it's there, with the way she sways her hips and looks at you with those beautiful eyes™ that say everything and anything you wanna hear. Kiryu's a very reactive type of guy, doing this and that because of something else. Kazumi however takes the initiative in little ways as a measure of testing her own waters, as to do something Kiryu probably wouldn't unless provoked. Kazumi has no goals, she lives in the moment and wants to enjoy it on her own terms.

dresses in colors very much like her usual suit (red, gray, white). will be super self conscious about her ass hanging out in short dresses and if you come at her with the 'but you don't mind if you're wearing a fundoshi?' and you can literally see the gears turning in her head.

not super great at fighting in heels (compared to Goromi) so she's not pulling crazy moves or running around. she prefers beast mode and the graceful art of blunt force trauma to play keep-away

KAZUMAJI TIME I'm unwell

so the way Kiryu interacts with Goromi is SO important to me and it's equally just as important for my thoughts on Kazumi so you'll see a lot of parallels here.

Majima is MAD horny for Kazumi it's unreal. impressively brainrotted even by goblin standards. partly because it's very exciting to see Kiryu prettied up and partly because he can just see the ✨ gender ✨ radiating off of Kazumi even if it's not as much of a gender thing for her as it is for Majima. he gets that chest tight sort of happy seeing Kiryu try something so important to him.

definitely shows his love via gift giving and physical affection. Kazumi's not big on gifts in general because it's embarrassing so she has to often convince him to just take her out for a good time and that's fine enough. for her, the affection is more important than anything and she'll admit, she likes to be wooed

I have to include Haruka cuz how can I not 🥺 she definitely helps out with makeup and hair. it's not perfect but she's the only person Kazumi will not squirm around for. Kazumi will sit still a little for Majima/Goromi to help out but she's gonna complain about it the whole time.

every minute Majima's not hanging onto Kazumi like she's his trophy wife is another minute he dies inside. he makes it an event to let everyone know he's got the hottest girl in town and it makes Kazumi feel pretty damn good.

Kiryu knows he's hot as hell so that extends to Kazumi as well—small crowds preferably though. despite enjoying a bit of attention, she still prefers plenty of alone time. there is significant anxiety for her to be the center of attention either because someone might recognize her or because things going to shit is just how Kiryu's life tends to go.

she lovesss getting a rise out of Majima, especially if they're in a place he has to behave. since he's her biggest fan, she does like a good bit of ordering him around, often to the point he's actually irritated but that's just part of the game for them, being smug heathens @ each other. I'm a goblin for possessiveness and jealously so throw in a bit of that for flavor 😏

I have a Kazumi x Majima fic where she's very dommy mommy and he's a meek lil worm and I think that's a sign of nature healing.

BIG fluffy Goromi interactions, they're very affectionate together and Goromi's just so giddy to have Kazumi go out with her. she will however bite people's fingers if they so much as wave in Kazumi's direction. the excitement from Goromi does help stave off Kazumi's own insecurities.

being with Goromi does give Kazumi a bit of perspective she otherwise wouldn't really understand as Kiryu. I can see her having one of her typical "wow, people sure do live differently than I do and I've gained more respect for such things" sorta deal lol. basic stuff but significant to those around her.

[g0dp4rticl3]

can we agree that megalo don is such a hardcore softie but he's so used to the "big n bad" when someone's genuinely interested in what he has to say he just—

"short circuits" (for lack of a better term(?)

/lh (Donnie brainrot going crazy)

yes YES!!! he has a soft inner core and you know it. all of this I very much agree to. thanks anon for putting a smile to my face, you get me. also short circuit is the proper word for it, I think. let's all start using robot and mechanical terms on him. car obsessed, wasteland cultured Don would appreciate it anyway.

[spar-kie]

That New Melia Design

Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Rejuvenation Brainrot

So! People are dissecting the new Rejuv 13.5 trailer and I would like to add my bit to the fray on account of I have terminal illness of Melia, she is my all time favorite. And the new design she's got has raised my eyebrows.

And a lot of credit to @tlozypaka-tina bc their post really got me thinking more in depth about this design rather than just thinking it just a new design for the new version.

So first, that new design! Let's take a peek at it!

(Bear with me on the resolution being bad, it's a screenshot of a small part of a YouTube video)

And before we continue, let's just compare all of Melia's previous designs (plus throwing Emma in there for kicks)

Now, something important to note for all of Melia's designs (except for the Terajuma design) is that the primary color on them is white. Her first, fourth, and fifth designs all have white shirts, and her second design in Emma wears a white robe with a white bow. Her previous Terajuma design had her shirt be grey but there was a bit around the collar that was white.

Though it would take more time to say what this symbolism this has for Melia (if any, and this isn't just a motif for character design), we can contrast it to the new design shown off in the trailer, which (despite the monochromatic color filter) we can tell that she's wearing a darker shirt. It almost looks like a darker version of her first outfit given the design of the shirt and the exposed bra/tank top straps. Though of course her hair is too long for it to be a re-do of that design. Not to mention the eye shadow, which is something none of Melia's current designs have. It seems to be the same shade as her shirt too.

Also worth noting is that the expression looks far more smug and self assured than any of the expressions of Melia's other designs. And while on this blog we support girlbosses and women who know how capable they are, this is something worth noting. Going back to tlozypaka-tina's post their friend Vance notes that the expression here is similar to that on Melanie's vs sprite.

So, what's the thesis of this post?

Honestly this is a jokey way of putting it but I think it puts it best, between the smug look (being similar to Melanie's vs sprite) and the darker colors of the design, I think we're getting some kind of evil Melia, for lack of a better term.

EDIT: Everything below this point is based on speculation that happened due to me straight up missing Melia's powered up design. I have no good reason for this, I checked the Chapter 12 folder where it is. But I'm keeping it in the post just bc I don't like deleting stuff.

Now, to get into some baseless speculation here, I can already hear some people going "Hey wait, you forgot Melia's powered up design!".

And I'm glad you noticed dear reader, I sure as hell did. When I was gathering the different Melia designs I snagged them from the DeviantArt stash where Zumi posts all the character designs. I didn't grab powered up Melia because she wasn't there (I grabbed the pic above from the Fandom Wiki).

Now I would normally chalk this up to there being dozens of pieces of art in Rejuv and it's easy to forget to upload one, except for the fact that I swear this used to be there! I could be remembering wrong, or... there could be plans for this design when 13.5 drops that involve a redesign that will only be revealed when it's out. Related to the design of Melia we saw in the trailer? I dunno, but it's worth noting since I found it.

[shiemori-writes]

PAIRING: Sebek Zigvolt x Reader

SUMMARY: Sebek has taken notice of his friend's recent unusual behaviour, and when he saw them crying one night, he took it upon himself to try to comfort them, only later realizing that the reason for their tears was because of a book they've recently read.

CONTAINS: gender neutral reader, mutual pining, 2nd Person POV, SFW, Fluff with a hint of crack

Authors Note: Ah my first (published) fic! hope y'all like it! I'm having a bit of a Sebek brainrot atm and I thought this would be a funny concept to write :D

Pacing through the halls of Diasomnia, Sebek had been pondering about your recent strange behaviour.

You appeared to be more...what was the word?

'sad?'

for lack of a better term, he thought. You'd always space out during your hangouts and was generally more...quiet, than usual, eerily so.

He'd never admit it out loud but- he missed your old self, he was worried for your wellbeing- as much as he's embarrassed to admit it.

Never would the young knight in training would have thought that he would ever befriend you, the magicless prefect, let alone be worried about you out of all people.

He grumbled under his breath, how dare you? A human- a magicless one at that- make him so distracted from his duties as a knight? Make him feel so, so-

"Worried?"

A voice interrupted his train of thoughts, chuckling in amusement.

Startled by the sudden presence, he fumbled, but quickly regained his sense of composure upon realizing who the voice belonged to. Stiffening, his face reddened.

"M-master Lilia!!!" He bowed, attempting to hide his flustered state, he coughed. "W-worried by what, exactly?" he asked, confused by the sudden question his master brought upon him.

"Why, worried for the ramshackle prefect obviously!" The old fae replied smiling, as if stating the most obvious thing in the world.

"W-WHAT?!!?"

His voice yelled out all throughout the dorm, causing Lilia to be startled by his sudden loudness, even startling himself from how loud he had been infront of his master. Lowering his head in shame he mumbled an apology for his behaviour, even more embarrassed than before

Oh great sevens end him now

Lilia merely laughed it off, patting his back like how a father would when talking with his son. "Oh! It's quite alright Sebek!" The shorter fae replied laughing, heavily amused by how flustered you made him. 'Ah young love!' He thought, reminiscing on the days where he'd been younger.

Shaking his head, he quickly came back to the topic at hand, you.

"But anyways, I take it you're worried for y/n?" He asked, glancing at the expression the knight in training was currently making.

The boy in question averted his gaze, replying with a curt nod. "....Yes...They've been...More quiet? They seem to be more lost in thought often..I...Worry for them." He said quietly, furrowing his eyebrows at the thought of you being so miserable.

Lilia stroked his chin, closing his eyes as if deep in thought. "I see..They must miss their home a lot." The old fae added, taking account in how you technically had no family here with you, no photographs to hold close to and cherish, nothing to remind you of home, nothing.

There was a brief silence after his master's statement,

Huh. He never did put much thought into that.

It must be awfully lonely being surrounded by people who already know each other- ....

As he let the thought sink in more and more, he felt immense sympathy and, furthermore, guilt.

feeling conflicted. He did want to comfort you, but-

what would he even say? he never was the type to spew out flowery compliments, let alone comfort. He was still...Fairly new to all of it.

Lilia, who had been watching him silently sulk in sorrow, had finally decided to break the silence.

"Go to them"

He urged the boy, who was now staring at him with wide eyes.

"N-now-????" he asked, "B-but master Lilia! wouldn't it be improper to visit at such a-" He was promptly shushed by the older fae, who simply smiled at him in approval. "I'm sure they'd appreciate it Sebek, they need a friend to cheer them up after all!" He said, encouraging him even more.

Huffing out, the young knight nodded, determination flodding him suddenly, as he ran towards ramshackle.

Watching as the boy ran, Lilia simply snickered.

"Hmm..I think I forgot to tell him they were simply getting emotional at the book I gave the prefect...hm..Welp! Oh well!"

There he stood, finally reaching your dorm. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door. Shuffling could be heard behind the door as your footsteps grew louder and louder, until finally the door had been opened.

"Crowley for the last time IF YOU- Sebek????" You turned to him, confused by his sudden visit. Stepping closer he inspected your face, your eyes were all red and puffy and faint tear stains could be seen. Dear sevens, you were this upset?

His eyebrows furrowed as his frown deepened. "Human....Have you been...crying?" He said, deciding to be direct, voice laced with (very badly) hidden worry and concern.

Your eyes widened in embarrassment, not expecting him to notice. Let's just say you've been binge reading a certain book series Lilia had given you and you may or may not have gotten attached to the characters, who, as predicted, had died. It was to be expected but you were still feeling bitter about the whole ordeal. You were gonna have to get back at Lilia for lying about it being a "happy story".

Snapping out of your thoughts you focused your attention on your (boy) friend who stood in front of you, arms crossed as he huffed, impatiently waiting for your answer.

"W-well,,, aha- yessss,????" You answered awkwardly, gesturing your hands into finger guns as you smiled nervously. "B-but uh! It's not a big deal reall-"

"Human!!!"

He interrupted seemingly embarrassed by what he's about to say next. "L-listen up you hear me!! I-I'm only gonna say this once!!!" He yelled out, his usual loud voice wavered.

You simply nodded, anticipating for what he was about to say, the determined face he held intriguing you.

"I..I know it must be- wait no that's- not right." he shook his head, correcting himself. "I- I may not know exactly how you may feel- nor have I gone through the same experience as you, Human- but.." He paused, carefully choosing his words.

"I want you to know that you will always have a home here, at NRC, and that we-..."

"I...Care for you."

Your eyes widened, taken aback by his genuine care and fondness he had declared to have for you. Smiling, you decided to hug him, while he was surprised, he can't say he didnt like the warmth you radiated, nor the smile that illuminated your features.

"Thanks Sebek, you can be unexpectedly sweet when you want to be can you?" You teased. He simply huffed and hugged you tighter in response, muttering a quiet 'shut up'. Giggling, you burried your head in the crook of his neck.

"Thanks for this, Sebek, It means a lot."

"...Anytime...Y/n.." he muttered quietly, playing with your hair. Gasping, you looked up to see his blush tinted cheeks.

"You actually said my name!"

"D-Don't get used to it Human!!!!"

EXTRA:

featuring: Grim ruining the peace because he can

Grim, who saw it all, snickering: PFT ya DO know that the reason my henchman was crying was because of a book they read right? Ya think it was because of somethin deep???

Sebek:

Sebek, eyes widening in horror: Human what is he implying

Y/n, sweating: uhh yeaaah- I wanted to tell you but you kindaa- interrupted before I could...Sebek? SEBEK-

Grim: MYAHHH HE PASSED OUT?!

(Additional) Author's Note: Did I, semi speedrun this because I just found out it's Leona's birthday and I wanted to write something for him? Maybe But! That having said, I hope you enjoyed reading!

[testudoaubrei-blog]

Still thinking about John Gaius who is definitely my ultimate poor little meow meow. He has done and continues to do such horrible things while refusing to change and also he subverts so much of what we expect from a villain.

First off, I don't think it is coincidence that Tasmyn Muir made sure to put him on the 'right' side of contemporary politics. He hates billionaires, loves queer people, fuck is a disaster bisexual himself, and isn't some white dude from America. He is also literally chosen by the earth herself to save her, and he really does care for her, and for his friends, I think. He certainly doesn't believe the wrong things or reason incorrectly, he wants to achieve goals most of us readers agree with. He is a perfect vaguely left of center hero in terms of being on 'our side' unless you are a vegan or a cow.

He is also, and I can't emphasize this enough, incredibly likable. He is funny, self effacing and can seem very considerate. Almost alone among characters in the setting, he doesn't accept the world as it is, or rage against its injustices, he seems to actually understand that this world (the society he created) is fucking ridiculous in a way that is kind of funny. I say he is almost alone in this because there is another irreverent wiseass who doesn't take things seriously, his daughter, Gideon Nav. And he is a lot like her.

But for all this John is as much a villain as this series has one (being ambivalent about villains in a serious moral sense, if not in the scenery chewing sense).

And it's tempting to reify that and make it some property of John or something that he lacks. To make being a controlling mastermind or a tyrant devoid of empathy some essential part of his make up and not a choice he had made. And I just don't see that.

I look at John and I see failure. Failure to actually save the world despite his magical powers - to the point where he killed it himself. Failure to confront that initial failure and rebuild the world as something whole, instead creating a crippled society out of his need to avoid responsibility and seek revenge. And failure for ten thousand years to do something better, something new rather than play out this self absorbed pageant of self justification across the known universe.

I think on a lot of narratives there is something that divides their heroes and villains and that this is the moral core of the narrative. Now Tasmyn Muir seems to loathe moralizing or pay answers (hence making the tyrannical God Emperor of the universe a bisexual progressive twitch streamer) but I think we can see on the series a divide between those characters who seek to revenge themselves for old wrongs and continue this forever war, and those who want to do something new. John, and for that matter, a lot of the BoE (who let us emphasize are often shown doing -absolutely horrible things-*) are in the first camp. The Sixth and maybe some of our other heroes are in the second. (Interestingly our two heroines are in a much more ambiguous position stuck in the middle, but often more on the side of the bad guys!).

Anyway I am going to have John brainrot until Alecto comes out.

*Commander Wake might as well wear a 'there are no good guys in this war' t-shirt.

[qualquercoisa945]

okay so in mag106, "a matter of perspective", it's revealed that ivy meadows, first introduced in mag36, "taken ill", was the care home in which melanie's father was staying.

TWs: fire, illnesses, death, corpses, and as always feel free to ask me to add warnings if i'm missing anything

now for those that don't recall, ivy meadows was attacked, for lack of a better term, by the corruption, its residents slowly becoming infected by a disease that would slowly kill them, a yellow rash that would eat at the flesh. The exact wording of the episode is the following:

[Image ID: A screenshot of a section of the transcript from episode 36 of The Magnus Archives, Taken Ill. After the second sentence, the text is highlighted, turning it from blue text with beige background to white text with grey background. It reads: "Based on the colour of those sections of skin still whole and unblemished, Mr. Miller couldn't have been dead for more than a few hours, half a day at most. You wouldn't have known, though. Large sections of his body were covered in a wet, creamy yellow rash, which... I'm not a doctor, so describing exactly what it did to the flesh it touched would serve no purpose except to start me having the nightmares again. Let us just say that it gave a plentiful home for the flies that swarmed around his body." End ID]

now this is the first part of what i wanna talk about, which is: did elias show melanie the fire? or did he show her the disease?

to be entirely honest i think the implication is that he showed her the disease but it did take me a reread of this episode to realize the possibility so i'm bringing it up here regardless

the second point i want to make, is that, later in the episode, the statement giver, nicole baxter, returns to ivy meadows only to discover the disease has spread even further. she's then intercepted by two people, and i'll just let the transcript do the talking:

[Image ID: A screenshot of a section of the transcript from episode 36 of The Magnus Archives, Taken Ill, with blue text on beige background. It reads: "I turned and began to sprint back towards my car. I had to get away, to get out. Then, without warning, I felt something heavy hit me in the side and I lost my footing, falling to the ground. I looked up to see an old man pinning me to the ground, his long, white beard matted and filthy. I screamed and tried to escape, but his age seemed to have done nothing to diminish his strength, and he kept his grip easily.

Then he spoke in a thick Mancunian accent and told me to keep my voice down. I noticed that his skin was unblemished pink, and behind him stood a young woman, tall and lean with close-cropped hair and a deep scar over her right eye. She carried a large canvas bag, and was shaking her head, telling the old man to leave me alone. After a few suspicious glances, he got up. I could swear I recognised him from somewhere, but when I asked the two of them who they were, they just shook their heads and told me to leave. I asked them what was going on, and the old man looked at his companion, as if asking permission, said something about knowledge being a good defence here. She shook her head and said that leaving quickly was a better one. I didn’t need to be told a third time." End ID]

now that alone, with further knowledge of the series, would let us suspect that this is trevor herbert and julia montauk, but the episode itself implies it, with jon saying, and i quote, "And the old man and his companion… who does that remind me of? If he wasn’t dead, I’d think it might have been Trevor –" before being interrupted by tim.

now the exact thing i want to talk about is the fact that like, ivy meadows was burnt down right, by trevor and julia. and idk!! maybe i just have brainrot for this girl but i just think julia and melanie interactions would be nifty and even more so with this added context ya know

[saturno-sol]

The Brainrot has gotten to me

WELL HERE YOU GO FOLKS (almost) ALL MY NOTES ON WYRMTHREAD (Chantilly/Quezal) both in Canon and in a Happier AU because yes Most put under a readmore because its over 1K long and the very end has some suggestive things because I’m allowed to think like that too so just as a heads up

Anyways here

Canon Codex

Do not establish a relationship outside of a blooming interest in each other that gets nipped in the bud due to...yeah cries 

So let us not delve too deeply into Canon rn, and sadly since the plot absolutely needs Chantilly gone to progress we turn to HAPPIER AUS!!!!! :DDDDD because I drove myself deep into brainrot and aoughhhhghhhghhhhghh

Songs I associate with canon because music is good- 

I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO DANCE by Tyler the Creator

Mr Loverman by Ricky Montgomery

Rest Easy, I’ll See You Again by Cuco (the title is a LIE) 

Pain by Pinkpantheress

La Gata Bajo la Lluvia by Rocío Dúrcal

The Night We Met by Lord Huron (thank you Jaxx) 

Noche No Te Vayas by Los Tres Caballeros 

Better Timeline AU!!!! 

Placeholder name but honestly it might stick because I’m too lazy to think up of a better one hghfdnkj, am open to suggestions tho

Basic Premise of this AU: Through some magic fuckery or whatever, Chantilly is allowed out of the Troupe and decides to tag along with our funky wyrm gal because nowhere else to go/hrnng big lady pretty. They actually do start going out and it turns out hey! They like each other, like a lot. 

They like each other so much that they get married and bam, WyrmThread real 

This is great because not only is my otp now canon and alive, Fuego (and later on Lune when Fuego adoptskidnaps them into the family) now has both parents! And they love their kids sm like damn do not get in between them else you want to get yeeted to Unalive World. 

In this one, the motivations for [REDACTED] have now morphed into somewhat the same way in terms of being dealt with but now we got the lacey boy to help Quezal do [SPOILERS], fight [SPOILERS] and help complete [SPOILERS] and help establish her empire. (I’m sorry but I am not revealing any important Codex spoilers yet)

“Will you be the Malfina to my Connecticut Clark?” 

Girlboss and Malewife, except they’re both still murderous and would happily see you to your grave if you intervene with any of their plans. I’ve given Chantilly throwing knives :) because he deserves to be dangerous. 

He deserves to look cool!! With knives!!! Fighting alongside his wifey!! 

Of course NKG fucks off when Chantilly leaves the Troupe but I love to think of him being akin to a disapproving in-law (“Really Chantilly?? You run off and marry some wyrm that didn’t even have a kingdom to begin with? Have the standards of the Nightmare Vessels deteriorated as time went on?”) 

Chantilly is somewhat concerned that Fuego is much more, for lack of a better word, feral than a regular Grimmchild would be but he doesn’t regret the decision to have him. He loves his bitey son even if he scratches through fabrics like water. 

And Quezal enjoys having another person to coil around and snarl at anyone that gets too close to them. It does take a while until they’re like velcro due to her issues with touch being equated to violence (Thanks dad /s) but once she overcomes that fight or flight response she absolutely does not let go of him. 

Burrowing into a dark place and nuzzling until he smells like her makes Wyrm brain go brr. And since he isn’t a wyrm there’s no instinct yelling at her to maim him if there’s no babies to take care of/mating season passed, he in her eyes is harmless. Even if they both know different, at least in her brain he is just a lil guy, no threat to her. 

Chantilly loves all the attention he’s getting from her, absolutely will allow her to carry him off and coil up against him as long as he can work on sewing while she broods over him. 

He’s naturally warm and for a wyrm that needs outside heat to regulate her inner temp like a snake he’s like a hot water bottle, world cold husband warm. 

Happby family can these Queers be HAPPY PLEASE 

Love languages!!! 

Quezal once she gets comfortable with physical stuff likes to nuzzle and bite :) but not to draw any hemo or cause harm, just to hold in mouth. She also likes to do acts of service, making sure that her husband is wont for nothing and doing little things like sharpening his knives for him. 

Chantilly loves to gift-give! Usually things he made by hand. 

“Quezal pls let me make you pretty dresses and outfits please you would so look good in teal” 

He likes kissing a lot, smoochies for wife and cuddling is great for him too, as long as he can sleep with his chest unobstructed he’s good 

They both love showing each other off

“Look at my partner they’re the fucking best ever, none of you bitches can compare to them.” 

When the empire is finally formed and Quezal takes her place as Empress she offers the title of Emperor to Chantilly 

He declines, Royal titles are just not his thing and he feels uncomfortable with them, so instead he goes by the title of “Lord”

His duties consist of assisting with any paperwork Quezal doesn’t want to deal with and being eye candy (/j but also not really he loves being shown off esp in new outfits) 

He also deals with nobles that aren’t too pushy, the ones that do are quickly steered towards Quezal. And usually after a meeting with her they learn better than to try to smart mouth either of them. 

Family Notes!

Chantilly’s the one to go to if you need advice and soothing comfort

Quezal’s the one to go to if you need someone beat the fuck up and also advice but in the no nonsense way. 

She also comforts but it's not in the way that Chantilly will delicately soothe the pains away, she tells you how it is but will hug you and tuck you into bed if wanted. 

On the other hand, Chantilly is the one Fuego and Lune go to if they want to do something crazy or stupid and know that mom won’t say yes. 

He dresses them up in poofy outfits (see the clown costume I’ve thrown on Fuego as an example) and shows them off to Quezal 

“Look my dear! Aren’t they the sweetest things you have seen!” 

It is very funny 

SONGS I ASSOCIATE WITH THIS AU

Meet Me At Our Spot by WILLOW

First Love/ Late Spring by Mitski

I Hear A Symphony by Cody Fry

She’s My Collar by the Gorillaz

My Kind of Woman by Mac DeMarco

New Light by John Mayer

Vivir by Jardin

coffee by Miguel

Never Getting Rid of Me from the Waitress Musical

WARNING WARNING

Ok next few am going to be a bit suggestive so stop here if you’re not into that but

I’m debating on if they’d have more children than Fuego and Lune and if so, how many HDJFJKSJ (thinking of twins named Arco and Iris because Arcoiris means Rainbow and I kind of like that and I’m also a sucker for twins) 

Listen, they’re both switches but most if not all the time Quezal’s the one topping. The man is submissive and breedable what do you expect HDJFJS

s i z e  D i f f e r e n c e 

Chantilly is a sensual romantic and loves a lot of buildup while Quezal just wants to get on with the good stuff, they make it work with communication and understanding each other :) 

They’re both capable of carrying so if they did have more kids I’d imagine they’d take turns on who’s turn it is to be eggy. (And I have so many thoughts about how they’d treat each other while pregnant but HHHHFJFJFHHHF too embarrassed rn waagaghgg) 

These two love each other very much and I love them. 

[multisfabulis]

Land’s Trust in Light

Building the Foundation (Chapter 2/6)

Word Count: 4080

The writing process for this chapter went as followed: I meant to start writing this in March, spent all of it stuck in brainrot, began writing and finishing the rough draft over the course of 10 days, and wrote the official version in less than a week. How in the hell I managed to still have something out this month, I have no clue.

I think this is the second most "plotless" chapter of this story, if only because this is meant to build up the friendship between Eric and Ferreth while having the plot be served as an appetizer in the beginning. I say second most, because the next chapter, I believe, will be the one, due to the plot taking a backseat but there is a hint to a future element that will be present in the overarching story so keep a look out for that!

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     Eric knocked on the door before needing to stifle another yawn. It was mid-morning in Thornewind, though he could hardly tell with the immense shadow cast over the town by the mountains. Despite everything being shrouded in almost complete darkness, he saw people setting up shop and beginning their day on his way over to Bris’ place. His memory seemed to be on point today, even with the handicap. Things were already looking to be better than Brinegarde’s visit.

     God, was he tired. Another yawn fell past his lips before he could think to stop it and he felt his eyes droop for just a second. His lack of restful sleep wasn’t from discomfort or a sudden spike of anxiety in the late night. It was simply the matter of being away from home and sleeping in an unfamiliar environment. It’s happened so often by now, it’s become an expectation he’s resigned to. It could be worse; he could be passed out and fall off the stoop of the windmill. Now he could only hope no one noticed his sluggish disposition and draw attention to it.

     The door swung open and he forced himself to stand up straight. He had it drilled into his head to have good posture, which meant no slouching. It’d be rude to appear as someone unbefitting of his station to lords and their attendants. He couldn’t afford to risk losing the alliance because of his sloppiness. Instead of Aissyl being the one to greet him, it was Bris.

     “Good morning!” That woke him up, if his quickening heart was anything to go by. “How’d you sleep last night?”

     “Uh, good morning,” he replied with a nervous laugh. “I slept okay last night, nothing special or anything.”

     The bright grin on Bris’s face dropped and he asked in concern, “Mm, really? You look pretty tired to me.”

     Why was he like an open book? He tried to explain it in a way that didn’t seem pathetic like, “No, I’m fine, really. It’s just, I don’t travel far from home often and I tend to not sleep very well on trips.”

     “We can pick this up tomorrow or another day, if you want.”

     “No, no, it’ll be fine, really! Honestly, I work better when I’m sleep-deprived so I’ll be okay.”

     With a slight grimace, he stepped aside and said, “Well, all right, come on in and let’s get started then.”

     Upon entering, he immediately noticed two things. The first was that one of the chairs he remembered being off to the side yesterday was gone. The other was of a savory aroma wafting around the room, making his mouth water. It emanated from a plate of freshly baked scones sitting on the center of the low table.

     “You’re welcome to try some if you want, Aissyl made ‘em.” He jumped some at Bris’s voice. He must’ve caught him staring.

     “Oh, um, thank you,” he stammered out, flashing him a nervous smile before grabbing a hot scone.

     When was the last time he ate a scone? He knew it had been years and it smelled just like the ones back home. He took a tentative bite and he felt his knees go weak, that’s how delicious it was. He finished off the rest in quick succession, his hunger satiated by a small amount. He forgot to eat breakfast before coming here so having something in his stomach helped wake him up some.

     “I’ll make sure to tell her you enjoyed them.” As he went to grab more, Bris headed inside his office. “Now let’s not waste any more time.”

     Eric followed behind him, warm scones in hand. Just as he thought, the missing chair from the lounge was sitting in front of the desk for him to settle down in. However, there was something different about the desk. A teal tablecloth laid in the center with a dark blue design embroidered in the middle. It was a hexagonal shape with gladiolus flowers crawling up the sides and its petals being blown away by the wind. That must be Thornewind’s emblem, since he remembered seeing similar symbols in Brinegarde and Aurora Zenith. He wondered if the other three towns he planned on visiting at some point had emblems as well.

     Once the scones were eaten, he and Bris began the meeting. He was glad to see the discussion on both sides going much more smoothly than they had between him and Lianthorne. Bris was open to compromise and he spoke in an easy to understand way, which he greatly appreciated. Their talk lasted for a couple or so hours before they agreed on the terms the other man set. With that, Aurora Zenith and Thornewind were now officially allies.

     He glanced towards the window to see the sun shining through the curtains. He must’ve been so engrossed in their discussion, he didn’t notice the darkness giving way to light. Covering his mouth with a hand to let out a yawn, he looked back at Bris and that’s when he saw it.

     His chin was resting against the back of his hand as his eyes seemed fixed on nothing in particular. He was tapping a finger on the surface of the desk as if he were lost in thought over something. This gave Eric a knot of anxiety. Had he committed a mistake that already threw their alliance into jeopardy?

     Before he could open his mouth, Bris looked him in the eye and asked suddenly, “Hey, Eric, would you be willing to hear me out on something?”

     “Um, yeah, what is it?” he replied, hoping his nerves couldn’t be heard in his voice.

     “Well, here’s the thing, I need time to figure out how I’m going to tell you this. It’s something I haven’t really thought out yet and I need to decide on whether or not I’m going to go through with it. When do you plan on leaving?”

     “I-I was thinking in 3 days’ time but I can stay longer if---”

     “No, no, that’s plenty of time, I should have a decision by then. It’s just…” Bris pushed back his hair and exhaled. “This is an important matter I have to think on and consider fully before I do something I might regret.”

     “No, I understand. I’m just more worried if this has anything to do with the business we were discussing.”

     “Oh, don’t worry about that, we’re fine on that front. This is separate from that.”

     He silently let out a sigh of relief. Whatever this thing Bris had to mull over was, it was comforting to know it had nothing to do with him. Still, he was curious on what Bris needed to tell him. It did, however, remind him of when Lianthorne tried to bribe him with Ven’s safety and he hoped this wasn’t going to go that route. A life should never be used as a bargaining chip.

     “Anyway--” he sat back in his chair-- “when I’ve decided on telling you, I’ll send Aissyl out to come get you. Moving on from that, you have any plans for today?”

     Putting the matter to rest for now, he replied, “Uh, no, I haven’t thought that far ahead.”

     “Do you want a tour of Thornewind then?” Bris asked, standing up from his desk to stretch. “Ferreth said you seemed taken in by everything when he stumbled upon you yesterday.”

     They must’ve met back up after dropping him off at the inn. He cringed at the idea of what that might’ve looked like to a stranger. “Well, Thornewind is a beautiful town so it’s no surprise I got sidetracked.”

     “Then it’s settled, I’ll go get Aissyl.” He started walking around the desk and out towards the threshold of the room.

     Following right behind him, he said hurriedly, “Y-you don’t have to do that! I don’t want to take her away from her duties and---”

     “She should be getting back from running errands right about now so…”

     It was when he tried to stop Bris from going out Aissyl walked in. All he could do was stand there awkwardly as the situation was explained to her, wishing he was anywhere but there right now. She said she had plans for the day, granting him some temporary relief before she pulled the rug out from under him by suggesting Ferreth to be his escort. With Bris’s agreement all but sealing the deal, he was left sitting on the stoop outside while Aissyl went to retrieve Ferreth.

     A heavy sigh escaped his mouth as he leaned back to watch the sky. In his attempts to not cause trouble for one person, he might’ve led some to another one’s doorstep. He could only hope he wasn’t hanging Ferreth out to dry with a client of his. Although, he was admittedly looking forward to spending more time with him today. He enjoyed his company yesterday so this might be considered a blessing.

     Eventually, Aissyl arrived with Ferreth in tow. They didn’t seem displeased at first glance but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. Maybe it was better to err on the side of caution and only let his guard down when everything was all right. He could never be too careful.

     He walked down the stairs, gripping the strap of his bag tightly in his hands. The knot of anxiety returned with a vengeance as his heart hammered against his ribs. Just keep calm and breathe, he repeated like a mantra in his head.

     “I’ll be leaving Lord Travere in your hands,” he heard Aissyl say before bowing and taking her leave, wincing at her referring to him as lord. He knew she was being polite, he just hated being called by formal titles.

     Ferreth, blissfully ignorant to his unease, said in a joking manner, “Well, I certainly wasn’t expecting to be seeing you again so soon after yesterday. You miss me?”

     “Listen, I’m so sorry about all this,” the words spilled out as he continued, “if I’m taking up any of your time, I’ll just go back to the inn and---”

     “Eric.” Hearing his name startled him some. “It’s fine, all right? As you guessed yesterday, my work allows me lots of free time and I’m choosing to spend some of that free time with you. So don’t worry about it, okay?”

     Doing the exact opposite of that, he shakily replied with, “I’ll try my best not to.”

     He turned away from him and cupped his hands over his mouth, trying to steady his breathing. He had to just ride it out, let the anxiety ebb. In the meantime, he needed to distract himself with something to slow his mind down.

     Seeing this, Ferreth clapped his hands together and asked, “You wanted a tour, right?”

     Thank god for convenient timing. “Yeah, Bris suggested it after we finished our discussion and that’d be really great right now.” A helpful distraction, indeed. “Where should we go first?”

     “How about the tulip fields?”

     “That’s perfect. Shall we go, then?”

     They began walking down the street he now recognized as the main road. Eric slowly calmed himself the further away he was from Bris’ house, his mind beginning to feel at ease the more he put it to work at enjoying the tour. Now he might be able to hold a steady conversation.

     “So how it’d go with Bris?” Ferreth asked as they approached the middle of town.

     “Oh, it went great!” he replied happily. “I am pleased to inform you that Aurora Zenith and Thornewind are now officially allies.”

     “I knew it’d go over smoothly. So what does being allies entail, exactly?”

     “Oh, well…” He racked his brain for a way to explain things without giving much away. “Say, for example, a disaster were to strike Thornewind. It’d be my duty as Aurora Zenith’s lord to send aid over right away and the same would apply to both Bris and Lianthorne---Brinegarde’s lord---if it were reversed. You’d have to ask Bris if you want to learn more about it.”

     “Nah, I’m good. I’m not really interested in all that political crap.”

     “I share the same sentiment but I have to be if I want to succeed at my job.”

     “Then why enter that line of work?”

     “Let’s just say I didn’t have much choice in the matter. I stepped up to take the position but only because I had the qualifications for it. At least I’m putting the skills I learned in my childhood to good use.”

     “You have my condolences.”

     He snorted in laughter at that. The rest of the trip consisted of them engaging in meaningless small talk that felt like it went on for hours. He was beginning to wonder if he had made a friend in Ferreth. It was easy to see why; he was laid-back, funny, and could find ways to keep the conversation going when he couldn’t. This was different from when he befriended Ven. While he extended a kind hand out that ultimately led to their friendship, this was two like-minded individuals coming together and just bonding over their shared interests. Maybe Alek was right in that he changed from the person he was two years ago into someone better. He smiled at the thought.

     A quick visit to the stable to see Asha later and they were out. The tulips were just as stunning as they were when he walked through the fields yesterday. A sea of rainbow swayed in the gentle breeze and his breath was stolen from him once more. He was definitely going to sketch this place sometime in the near future. This was too beautiful for him to pass up.

     “A nice sight, isn’t it?” Ferreth asked, throwing his head back to let the wind ruffle his hair. “Just feel that breeze.”

     “Yeah, it is quite pleasant.” That was when he remembered his question from yesterday. “Oh, I was wondering, how are the tulips still in bloom this late into summer? I mean, I’m not a botanist or anything but my friend once told me they only bloomed in the spring.”

     “Unfortunately for you, I don’t know the answer to that.” He began walking down one of the many dirt paths crisscrossing the massive garden. “You’ll have to ask someone who’s lived here their whole life that question.”

     Taken aback by his reply, he followed after and said, “Wait, you’re not from Thornewind?”

     “Nope. I’m from a little town called Thesriden that may as well be on the other side of the world. I came to Thornewind just before my 18th birthday.”

     “Then forgive me if I’m prying a bit but why come all the way out here? It must’ve been a long trip if it’s as far as I’m imagining it to be.”

     Ferreth let out a heavy sigh, no doubt wanting to say as little as possible. “Let’s just say I ran away from home due to some familial issues and I remembered Bris saying he planned on coming here after moving out so I followed him. Welcomed me with open arms and I’ve stayed ever since.”

     There was a bitter smile on Ferreth’s face while saying all that. He didn’t need any elaboration to understand where he was coming from. They were more alike than he thought, right down to leaving behind the place they called home for so long because of family. No wonder he held Bris up to such high regard.

     In an attempt to lighten the mood, he changed topics to, “Anyway, these tulips really are beautiful. I think my friend would love it here.”

     “Well, hey, we’re always welcoming new visitors,” Ferreth said in a brighter tone. “Maybe when you go back home, you can tell him to come up here sometime.”

     “I’m not sure if she’d be able to, what with her shyness and all…” The memory of Ven cowering from a crowd of people surrounding her popped into his head and he breathed out. No way was she going to travel all the way up here by herself, especially with how she looked. If Vlixeoxs were barely tolerated in places like Brinegarde and Aurora Zenith, Thornewind would be no different.

     “I can help her out when she gets here,” Ferreth suggested. It’s not like he hasn’t been of great importance to him throughout his entire visit so far. So long as he didn’t flirt with her, then maybe…

     “If she comes here, I’m holding you to that.” Ven was his friend and he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if anything happened to her. Of course he knew she could take care of herself but he still worried.

     “So, shall we move on with the rest of the tour?”

     “Sure. We have all day, right?”

     So they continued on for the rest of the afternoon. He was shown the local businesses, parks, and occasional oddity Thornewind had to offer. Ferreth even made it a point to tell him of the best taverns to drink at, which he found nice but unnecessary. He wasn’t one to drink and, even if he were, most alcohol never appealed to him. Once the sky began to darken, they decided it was best to wrap up the tour. If Ferreth ever wanted to change his line of work, he’d be damn good at being a guide.

     As they were walking back to the Dravitae Inn, Eric remembered his earlier conversation with Bris. An important matter, huh? Maybe Ferreth knew something about what Bris could be hiding from him. After all, they were very close so the possibility was there, he just had to ask.

     “Hey, Ferreth, is Bris normally the secretive type?” He studied his face, trying to gauge what his reaction would be.

     Confusion was the best way to describe his expression when Ferreth asked, “No, he’s never been one to keep secrets. Why?”

     “After we had finished our discussion, he mentioned having something important he wanted to talk with me about. I was wondering if you knew anything of it but I guess not.”

     “Yeah, I don’t know anything about this. He didn’t seem bothered at all last night so I wonder what’s going on.”

     That wasn’t what he expected or wanted to hear. If even Ferreth had no idea of this, then it really was a waiting game he’d have to play until it was time. Patience was a virtue he had a love/hate relationship with. On matters like this, it was his worst enemy and he had no choice but to deal with it.

     “I’ll see him tonight and ask what’s up, it’s just not like Bris to keep secrets,” said Ferreth.

     “Don’t do that, I’m sure he’ll tell me when he thinks it’s time.” He saw him open his mouth to say something then shut it. “For now, I’ll have to wait.”

     They arrived at the inn just as the lights were turning on. Until the time Bris sent for him came, he planned on enjoying the rest of his trip here. He already had an idea of what he wanted to do tomorrow when---

     “Hey, Eric, you have any plans for tomorrow?” Ferreth’s voice jolted him out of his thoughts.

     “Well, I was thinking about going on up to the overlook I saw while we were at the tulip fields earlier and possibly sketch Thornewind from up there,” he replied, realizing where this was going. “Why?”

     “You mind me tagging along?” Yep, that’s what he thought.

     “No, but won’t it interfere with work?”

     “Eric, I go to work whenever it calls me. Besides, if it was serious enough, they can just come find me so it’ll be fine.”

     He gave it a moment of deliberation before answering with, “…Okay but if you get into trouble because you were too busy hanging out with me, you’ll only have yourself to blame.”

     “Come on, people love me, I bet I could get myself out of it by saying a few sweet words,” he replied with an amused grin. “I’m very charming, you know.”

     It was so hard to hate him sometimes. Even when he’d say things that’d normally rub him the wrong way, Ferreth made them have the opposite effect. He was right in that people loved him and Eric wasn’t an exception.

     After they parted ways for the day, he climbed up to his room, sat on his bed, and let out a weary sigh. Today was another exhausting yet fun day. He managed to accomplish his goal for being here, went on a sightseeing tour in Thornewind, and spent some quality bonding time with Ferreth. Tomorrow was a day he could kick back, relax, and enjoy the peace it’d bring.

     Speaking of which, he reached into his bag and pulled out his sketchbook. Flipping through the pages revealed many works in progress that he never planned on finishing, ranging from messy outlines to slightly cleaner sketches. His subjects were mainly of landscapes, though there were the occasional drawings of Alek during the rare times he’d actually sit and stay down. He’d been honing his craft since he was a child and the years of practice gave him the ability to turn out something truly remarkable. However, this was only a hobby he was passionate about. Nothing more, nothing less.

     Eventually, he found a blank page and folded the corners inwards. It was to bookmark which page he wanted to use for the Thornewind sketch tomorrow. Then he put the sketchbook back inside his bag, patting it once for the heck of it. Everything was in there, he was sure of it.

     Today was when he built a foundation in more ways than one. Tomorrow would be him strengthening the one he started on with Ferreth. Let it bear fruit so he may savor it in commemoration of this trip.

[caramujotan]

disco elysium text-form #thots:

i finished my first run last friday because i went stupid and played the game for nearly 24h straight. i could literally not drop it. i called it a 10/10 when i was about 2h away from finishing it, finished it and kept that score. it’s a real good game and you can stop here with my endorsement but if you want some more in-depth spoiler-free thoughts on it you can read the rest of this post. it’s big.

due to the content of the game, i talk about mental health topics, suicide, drug use and - obviously - cops 🐷

in a way calling this by numbers feels reductive (scalding hot review take, i know). a 10/10 score doesn’t reflect the awe i felt when gilding through the end-game. it doesn’t say a thing about how viscerally my body reacted to a few pixels and lines of text. it can’t tell you that i spent 2h in bed trying to sleep but couldn’t keep my brain off of it and got up at 8AM to finish it; or how much i’ve been replaying the game in my head, curious about how certain quests or events would have gone if i’d tried a different approach or character build.

i have this funky little medical condition that goes with my autism that makes it difficult for me to identify and process most emotions that i feel. but i can tell you how my body reacted. this game went into my gut. it felt like a leaded fist burrowed through my throat into the pit of my stomach and shredded my insides. it got me fucked up, is what i’m saying.

obviously i can’t go into what caused me to react like that without spoiling the shit out of this game, and since i wish i could gently lobotomize myself in order to experience it again for the first time, i heavily recommend you go through it knowing as little as possible. what i can do, however, is talk about the technical elements of it.

the art is beautiful. the art direction is top-notch and it was definitely of the things that drew me to this game first. the oil painting aesthetic is sublime - gritty and ethereal in equal parts whenever each purpose is called for. finding out that the art team was spearheaded by painting majors from russian fine-art schools made perfect sense - it shows, and the game made peak use of it. the philosophy behind their visual approach is woven into the fabric of the game itself - it’s a perfect compliment to the writing and storytelling, and i’d struggle to imagine this game without it. it permeates and elevates every environment, every interaction, every character build choice - from the character portraits, to the UI, to certain skills and game events. real art cop hours all my homies kin the art cop.

the music by british sea power is subsided and haunting and gives the game that british/european post-industrial melancholic flavor. i’m no music critic sadly. it fits the mood and it stands out beautifully in a few key scenes, but that’s as much as i can say.

the biggest turn off for me was in the voice acting. if you’re interested in playing this game i’m going to assume with 75% certainty you’re in your early 20s to 30s and are politically located to the left side of liberal at a minimum - so i’ll just come out and say it plainly: every second NPC (especially in the late game) is voiced by a leftist podcaster. i’m sure this is a plus for some, and it’s not the kind of thing you’d immediately notice anyway unless you’re a quote unquote dirtbag leftist with terminal irony poisoning twitter brainrot. most of them do competent work, but the sound mixing and general performance is weaker in comparison to the NPCs voiced by actual voice actors. 

it’s not that bad, but it’s there - and the fact that this is probably my biggest complaint about the game should say enough of my opinion on it. either way i was cringing with recognition every time it happened and it took me out on more than one occasion because i kept hearing felix chapotraphouse in one of the game’s big tense climatic scenes.

‘but caramujo!’ you say ‘this doesn’t tell me what this game is about’. hold on, i’m about to blow the ‘i can’t do literary analysis unless things are explained to me in clear cut absolute terms’ gang out of a career and spell the themes of this game out for you in detail:

it’s about loss, and renewal - both personal and interpersonal. it’s about rising from the ruins of something that’s been in motion long before you were even thought of, having little power over it, and soldiering on. it’s about heartbreak and the end of a relationship and how that can warp your mind and infect everything around you. and you won’t get better right away - the end game doesn’t wrap everything up with a little bow and lets you cause systematic upheaval. you can’t revolutionize your way out of this one. shit will, for the time being, continue to suck. 

it’s about waking up in a body that’s fucked up with a heart that aches in a world that’s been torn apart - and still making the decision to try to make it better - because you’re alive, and your heart beats, and there’s other beings in the world that are tethered to you and we all owe it to ourselves to make it better. communism hasn’t worked, baby - but so hasn’t love - and we’re not gonna give up on that. that’s what it’s all about.

it should be pretty clear right now that i did my first run as a bisexual/questioning communist feminist hobo who kinned karl marx. but i can assure you there’s other ways to play this game, and there’s more to it than that because of it. 

the quests (both side quests and a main story) are varied and had me laughing and dropping into existential despair on different occasions. other than trying to be the biggest communism builder, this game is also about:

- having a heart attack because a chair is too uncomfortable, but it’s OK because your buddy cop holds you in his arms like in the buddy cop movies. 

- doing copious amounts of drugs and turning on, tuning in and dropping out, maaaaan. 

- going on an x-files monster of the week episode to track down a curse that’s dooming the local businesses.

- shilling for the free market to come fix it all with its beatific invisible hand while standing in a town so fucked over by economic embargoes and poverty that the local union leader is a corrupt toad with a plan to revitalize the region by gathering the work force into a nationalized worker owned drug enterprise of the legal and illegal varieties - and it still comes off as one of the more levelheaded economic decisions one could make in that situation. 

- trying not to fucking kill yourself even though you have to live with that thought every single day. 

- winning the trust of a 12 year old crackhead with a deadbeat dad by becoming a positive masculine role model. 

- turning into a fascist you so can get buffs from drinking alcohol, and therefore becoming a raging alcoholic and having to walk up to important story events carrying half a liquor store in your inventory so you don’t have a mental breakdown or kill yourself from lack of morale whenever someone calls you out on your ethnonationalist bullshit.

it’s also - and i cannot stress this enough - about making sure you can find a tape to sing karaoke and make kim kitsuragi smile. it slaps. it’s real good writing.

i don’t know what else can say. pretty sure the game is on sale on steam now. anyway please play this absolute masterpiece and stan studio za/um for clear skin. ACAB.

[vagarius]

misukazu 21

(if you saw me fuck up the other one no you didnt)

EDIT I THINK THIS ONE GOT A LITTLE FUCKED UP TOO BUT IT’S... READABLE...

questions from this post, and answers originally written for this thread!!

If you had to change the pairing’s very first meeting, how would you change it?    their canon first meeting is already so good SHDGFLJASHG but if i had to choose a different one that's still within the context of mankai... meeting as kids and losing touch and coming back together completely different at mankai

What song fits your pairing the most?    uhhHHhhHHH i don't have a real answer but i do have a partial playlist for one of my misukazu aus and the only two songs in it are furaregai girl by sayuri and champagne's for celebrating by mayday parade and i feel like that says enough sldhgalsdhfalsh

What is your favorite AU/prompt idea/trope for your pairing?     ALL MISUKAZU AUS ARE GOOD but. i really love any au where their first meeting is in the future and both are still kind of lost but they're Older and it's hard to let themselves fall into the easy trust they find in canon. i just think that'd be neat.

Do you prefer canon ideas or do you have your own headcanons for them?     I'VE SAID THIS MANY TIMES BUT CANON MISUKAZU GIVES OFF MADE FOR EACH OTHER VIBES AND USUALLY I DON'T VIBE WITH THAT BUT THEY REALLY ARE WHAT THE OTHER NEEDS... AND I THINK EVEN IF THEY HAD TO PART THEY'D STILL BE ABLE TO BE BETTER PEOPLE BC THEY HAD MET

Favorite canon moment of them?     THERE ARE SO MANY but the one that immediately comes to mind is misumi carrying drunk kazu to bed (latest bday line) because drunk kazu is so soft and it implies that misumi wanted to wish happy birthday to kazu pretty late... what did he want to give him...

Least favorite canon moment of them?     hmm... there's not really one i can think of??? IM SORRY I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY I LOVE ALL THEIR CANON MOMENTS

Favorite headcanon trope/idea? (Your own or someone else’s)    this is somehow both vague and very specific but i think misukazu gives off this vibe: He's beautiful. I can't tell him. or "Kazu is always beautiful~" Don't call me that, Kazu thinks. I'm not. so... insecurities i guess ????? AJSHAJJD

Favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics?     THIS IS GOING TO SOUND SO CHEESY but i love how /real/ they allow themselves to be around each other. misukazu at their best is when one thinks "you're you. and i love that you" and the other knows this. i just. THEY VALIDATE THE OTHER SO MUCH CRIES

Least favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics? (Can be headcannon)     this isn't a "least fav" so much as "it makes me sad" but if either of them showed any sign of not being interested anymore the other is more likely to give up then push anything. sort of like "it was bound to happen, so i'll enjoy now until they drop me" or EVEN WORSE they think the other would be better off without them and pushes them away. so yeah the fact i can see one of these happening makes me sad.

If they aren’t a canon pairing, how would you get them together?     they give off "everyone knows we're dating but us" energy but at the same time i feel like they'd acknowledge there's something and just not define it bc a) they don't need to (misumi) or b) they're too nervous to (kazu). in other words i think one day they are holding hands and misumi says "kazu? is this dating?" and kazu holds his breath before asking "do you want it to be?"

If you had to take them and plunk them into another fandom, what fandom would that be? Why?     i think theyd be hilarious in any sports animanga (kazu is manager tho bc noodle arms but maybe they bond when misumi walks him through some of his usual training menu one night - ahem. anyway) BUT ALSO horimiya au...

How hard is it write/draw your pairing? Scale of 1-10.     AJDHAJDHSF I REALLY LOVE THEM SO IT COMES PRETTY EASILY... but sometimes you try to put them in tropes and realize they would Just Not Work Like That. idk where i'm going with this. but yeah. anyway 3 for sankaku.

Is there a pairing that you think rivals them?     in terms of what i ship, i tend to ship kazu and misumi individually with a lot of dif charas AJDHAKD. but in terms of like... in-universe "rival" pairings: kazu side: tsuzukazu (maybe, lbr it would take them 273924 yrs to actually get together), kazu x someone from winter (i... have my reasons but they'd take longer than what this answer entails) misumi side: ... surprisingly none that i can think of ahdjahd

Which character of the pairing do you like more? (Would you ever pair yourself with them?)     you know that tweet that's like "sometimes a ship is just your two favs"? yeah that's misukazu for me. but if i had to choose... misumi AJDHAJHDSF I HONESTLY WASNT THAT INTO YUME UNTIL THESE TWO CAME AROUND (NOT COUNTING 707)... but yeah if they wanted to hold me in their arms i wouldn't oppose

Which character of your pairing would be the one to break up with the other? Why?     OOOOOH BOY well. i think it could be either of them. i don't think they'd break up for lack of love but too much love and wanting the other to be happy and thinking that the only way to give them that is to let them go. so i guess the question is which of them would be more likely to be selfish and hold on. thinking this way, i think misumi would be more likely to break-up, bc kazu has lots of friends who are better than him!! and misumi is more ready to leave if he thinks he needs to than kazu is. now im sad.

Are they relatable as characters or as a pairing?     THE NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE BEEN CALLED KAZU KIN... in all seriousness kazu's struggles with speaking out and (shinobi spoilers) his uncertainty over his future hit real close to home... while i don't relate as much as misumi, his struggles always manage to tear my heart into pieces... ((oversharing alert) i guess what really separates me from misumi is his struggle with his desire to connect with family who has treated him poorly... whereas im more "lol fuck you") tldr i relate to kazu slightly more LOL

Did you once/ever dislike one/both of them?     i never disliked them but i was NOT expecting either of them to shoot up so quickly into my favs list ahdjahdjf. also i started shipping them Immediately After reading summer main story so there's that

On an estimate, how many posts have you made about them?    as of september 28th 2020 i make up 11/78 fics on ao3 in the romantic misukazu tag and 2/12 in the platonic one. i may have brainrot.

What made you decide to ship them?     TBH I FINISHED THE MAIN STORY AND WENT "OH MY GOD... THAT'S MY SHIP" but now that i'm here i continue to ship them because they have the potential to bring out both the best and the worst in each other and i'm all about that

Favorite genre for them? (Angst, fluff, etc.)     angst. i just. angst hurt/comfort all the way. im so sorry babies.

lol you thought there would just be 21 ANYWAY EXTRA 1: how do they spend breaks/vacation?    they'd travel a lot when they're older!! kazunari loves to travel and misumi would follow kazunari anywhere (also, new triangles!!) so they go somewhere new whenever they have the time. however i think eventually one or both of their future careers will take them anywhere and everywhere anyway, so their "ideal vacation" might turn into an evening in, cuddling and catching up (as if they didn't already send play-by-play updates over the phone of whatever they did during the day)

EXTRA 2: first date?     i don't they ever have an explicit first date, but if asked they'll cite the time they had a picnic in the park turned triangle hunt turned accidental dip in the duck pond. at least, kazunari will. misumi just tilts his head and wonders what you mean.

EXTRA 3: gifts?     IM FEELING REALLY CHEESY SO I'M MAKING THIS ABOUT ANNIVERSARY GIFTS they both end up getting each other jewelry (although kazu was really really nervous bc he wasn't sure if misumi would wear it). kazu gets misumi a bracelet (with triangles, of course although misumi only wears it sometimes because he doesn't want to lose it) and misumi gets kazu a pair of triangle earrings "so we can match!" and kazunari combusts at the implications

EXTRA 4: sharing clothes     THEY'RE ACTUALLY AROUND THE SAME SIZE (and tend to wear baggier stuff barring kazu's skinny jeans)... but they have completely different Styles so it's still really obvious when steal each other's stuff ahdjajdkaf. as cute as kazu would look in sumi's sweatshirt i think the much more likely scenario is kazu wrapping misumi in his jackets because this boy nEVER BRINGS HIS ANYWHERE anyway just. accidental shared wardrobe misukazu.

EXTRA 5: lake house au    consider: kazunari living in a house on the shore of a lake for a summer for Art Purposes (and a little bit for Dealing With Life purposes but he's not gonna admit that) and meets his lake neighbor misumi who kazu thinks might be a ghost or spirit for a while but he actually just lives further down the lake and misumi unknowingly helps kazu with his Life Issues and maybe they fall in love

[eclipsehotline]

graveyard

togainu no chi brainrot ain’t letting me go any time soon so here’s another thing i finished two weeks ago. featuring keisuke, akira, their post-toshima stress disorder (sorry) and a makeshift graveyard

also, is crossposting stuff both in here and on ao3 a thing? anyway. you can read it here if that’s more convenient

It was their unspoken rule that what happens in Toshima stays in Toshima. Except it refused to stay, seeping into their daily lives.

  It took some time even for the phlegmatic and reserved Akira to come to terms with the madness and brutality he's been through, but Keisuke, ever the bleeding heart, was barely hanging on.

It was so bizarre to Akira how both of them managed to get their act together against the seemingly neverending storm of horrors Toshima threw at them, but when it was well past and behind them it felt like the smallest things were enough to throw them off balance.

At first he attributed those moments of weakness to Keisuke's sensitive nature, but then began noticing that the past weighed heavy on him as well. The metallic smell of tools they dealt with at work sent shivers down his spine, the sight of an abandoned coffee shop he passed by made his heart race as if he'd been running for his life - he dismissed those feelings at first as coincidences, but couldn't unsee a pattern once he noticed it.

Akira could take it, though. He may have struggled at times, but came out on top all the same.

Keisuke, however, looked like he was losing the fight. Losing so hard that the nights when he woke up in cold sweat and out of breath were the better ones. Akira still shuddered at the memory of him shoving their understandably concerned neighbors out of the door when Keisuke roused not only himself and Akira, but the people living next door as well with his blood-curdling scream.

It was getting to him more and more as time went by. The lack of decent sleep caused him to drag his feet and lose appetite. The strength and precision were seeping out of his movements. It was a disaster waiting to happen.

  They were at work when it did. Keisuke was hauling boxes back and forth when he lost his footing and walked straight into the door frame.

His pained cry was enough to set Akira on high alert, but he froze like a deer in the headlights when he saw blood.

Keisuke carefully felt his injured nose. Crimson was smearing all over his hands.

Memories came crashing down on Akira like an avalanche. The sight of blood sullying Keisuke's gentle hands once again was too much for him to bear.

He only remembered how to breathe when a voice of Tomoyuki’s - one of his colleagues heard the noise and came to check what'd happened - brought him back to reality.

"Akira, hey! Don't just stand there, go fetch a first aid kit!"

He ran into the opposite direction, towards Keisuke, bluntly shoving Tomoyuki aside as he got down on his knees next to his injured friend.

"Keisuke!" His voice trembled. "Are you okay?" Gods, what a stupid thing to say to a person who's clearly bleeding!

Keisuke gave him a smile. A weary and confused one, yet genuine all the same.

"More or less… I sure am a klutz sometimes, aren't I?"

Tomoyuki's shoulders raised and dropped in confusion and disbelief at the sight.

"Jeez Louise… Okay, Akira, you stay here by his side, I'll grab the kit".

  "Hey, Akira," their boss called out to him during lunch. "Mind coming over here for a second?"

Minor accidents were commonplace at their work, but this one was serious enough for Keisuke to get sent home fot the rest of the day. There was bound to be some sort of interrogation.

Akira mentally braced himself for impact. Usually getting chewed out by his higher-ups hardly got to him, but today was different. He felt like an exposed nerve.

His boss's face didn't look like he was about to get an earful however. He looked… Concerned?

"Is everything okay with you and your... friend?"

Akira kept silent, not knowing what to answer. It was too complicated of a matter for a simple "yes" or "no" to suffice.

The man interpreted his silence in a different way however.

"Listen, kid, I'm no cop or somethin'." His was a face of a person who had no desire to pry, but one reason too many to do so. "You don't owe me your whole life story. But I'd rather have an absent worker than an injured one, you know? And it's better you take a day or two off than… This. Understand?"

Akira nodded.

"Of course, sir. Thank you."

"In fact, you know what? You go and take some time off as well. Would do both of you well to get some rest."

  On his way home Akira didn't even try to think of anyone and anything else other than Keisuke.

A thought occurred to him. They'd been around each other ever since they were kids, and yet a mere couple of days spent in Toshima made him realize he didn't know a damn thing about Keisuke. All those years of silence and faulty thinking that everything is fine and well as long as no one speaks up - and neither of them was ever that keen on speaking up back then - did their relationship no good whatsoever.

Now it felt like they were walking into the same trap again, silently agreeing that there's no reason to bring up Toshima, because why bother, they've been through it together, it's not like they needed words to understand each other, right? As if.

Akira had no goddamn clue about how Keisuke felt except for a useless vague "bad, by the looks of it". And that wouldn't suffice. He needed to know better. He wanted to know better.

He came home to Keisuke napping on Akira's side of ther makeshift double bed - they moved their singular ones together the very first night they arrived at the apartment.

"Akira? Is that you?" Keisuke muttered under his breath when he heard the door click, still drowsy from the slumber.

"Mm-hmm."

"You're early... Is everything okay?"

"Boss said I looked like hell and he didn't want another accident, so he sent me home. How's your nose?"

"Hurts a bit, but I'll live." Keisuke gave him a faint smile.

"I bought you painkillers. One sec, let me get you some water."

Keisuke's smile grew wider, beaming with adoration.

"Akira! You're the best."

After Keisuke took the pill, Akira placed the now empty glass on the bedside table and sat on the bed. Keisuke snuggled to him immediately.

It was their unspoken rule to never speak of Toshima. Except Toshima spoke of itself, each time louder than the last.

Perhaps it was about time for them to let the rule go.

"You wanna talk about what happened?" Akira prompted.

To Akira's surprise, Keisuke nuzzled his face into Akira's side and muttered:

"Not now, okay? I just… Wanna share some peace with you."

And here Akira thought Keisuke would open his heart to him the moment he asked. Just went to show how much he had to learn about his lover after all.

Akira didn't press the matter. The rest of the evening unfolded in an usual manner, and only as they were about to go to bed Keisuke brought it back up.

Akira was raring to hear Keisuke out, but what he heard from him was not even close to what he'd expected.

"Are you okay, Akira? I'm sorry I gave you a scare."

"You… What?"

The thought of Keisuke thinking that he expected an apology to him off all things wouldn't have occurred to Akira in a million years. He gave him an astonished look.

Keisuke looked at him back, puzzled as well.

"Is this not… What you wanted to talk about?"

"Of course not!" Akira was trying his hardest not to let frustration get the best of him. "You've been barely sleeping these days, you've nearly broken your nose today, why on Earth would I want to talk about myself in this situation?!"

"Oh," Keisuke let out a confused sound.

Akira couldn't help but sigh. Then he ruffled Keisuke's soft, still a bit damp from the shower, hair, and picked a softer tone.

"I wanted to talk about the nightmares you've been having."

"You think talking is going to help with that?" Keisuke's voice sounded faint. He was staring down at the blanket they were sitting on, as if trying to memorize the pattern of the fabric.

To be honest, Akira wasn't sure of anything at this point. But he's often heard that talking helps. Maybe it will in Keisuke's case as well.

"You'll never know if you don't try, right?"

Keisuke tugged at Akira's arm, and they laid next to each other.

"It's… They really have been getting worse these days. At first there were just… The people I've killed. I felt them coming after me and giving chase, clawing at my shoulders and ankles, weeping and wailing, trying to pull me back, to pull me under. But then I started… Seeing myself in those dreams as well. My own self from back when I was high on Line, but it was as if we were separate beings, except of course we weren't. And I was trying to hold him… myself…  back, but he... I… just kept on killing, in cold blood, with a smile on his… my… face, and…"

Akira gently stroked Keisuke's arm as tears came streaming down his face.

"Remember the night when I woke up our neighbors? I saw you in that nightmare. I saw myself hurting you, doing all those horrible things to you, but no matter how hard I cried, I couldn't stop him, I couldn't stop myself, it's like I was a ghost and my arms kept phasing through as he… I… kept going on…"

Keisuke could no longer talk. He hid his face into his hands and wept.

"I'm sorry, Akira, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"

Akira wrapped his arms around Keisuke and pressed his lips onto his lover's forehead.

"It's okay, Keisuke," he whispered. "It's all in the past."

"Don't you lie to me, Akira!"

Akira flinched at the force in his words, but didn't let go.

"I saw you today! I saw how scared you were of me!"

"Keisuke, please," Akira tried to make his voice sound firm, but it still came out like he was pleading. "Would I lie next to you like this every night if I truly was scared of you?"

He felt Keisuke's tensed body relax ever so slightly in his embrace.

"I was scared for you. I was scared because I never wanted you to be in pain ever again, and yet you were."

"Akira…" Despair was fading away from Keisuke's voice, giving in to relief.

They shared a comforting silence for a while before Keisuke spoke again.

"Do you have nightmares too, Akira?"

"Not really," Akira mused on his words for a bit. "But there are times when… You know how sometimes you notice things that remind you of the past, and it feels like you're reliving the memory? No, rather, it feels like you've never left?"

Keisuke nodded, brushing Akira's sweaty palm with his thumb.

"Does it happen to you often?"

"Sometimes," Akira muttered, embarrassed. "But it's usually minor enough to shrug it off."

He paused. Why was he trying to put on a brave face? Keisuke laid his heart bare in front of him. It's only fair Akira treated him the same.

"Sometimes it gets to me, though."

"Like today?"

"Yeah. And also..." A figment of a recent past came to his mind, demanding to be brought up.

"Some time ago I saw a person who looked much like one of the men I fought against in Igura. He was high on Line as well, and he licked one of my cuts for whatever reason, and…" Akira's voice trailed. This part needed no further explanation.

"I saw the executioners get a hold of his body later. Dunno if he would've made it through had he been left alone, but… I still feel like his blood is on my hands. Even though he threw the first punch."

Keisuke placed his hand on top of Akira's. Akira was struggling to find a proper word for what he felt at the touch. It wasn't relief - nothing in the world could take away the sins he has committed. Yet, he felt comforted. Understood.

In that moment, not even feeling loved could be compared to feeling understood.

Keisuke gently entwined his fingers with Akira's as he spoke:

"Guess we're both haunted, aren't we?"

  It was Akira's first time on cleaning duty, and Tomoyuki was there to show him the ropes. He hadn't been working at shop that much longer than Akira and Keisuke did, yet still had the air of a know-it-all around him. Akira wasn't a big fan of that, but Tomoyuki's otherwise down-to-earth attitude made dealing with him all the more bearable.

"Be careful with that closet," Tomoyuki warned him with a sneer as they approached the storage room. "It's crowded as all hell. Ready on three?"

As he slid the rusted deadbolt and Akira pulled the door open, a mop flew out of the cramped space and hit the floor with a loud thud.

"See? Would've been your forehead if you hadn't been careful."

Akira was rummaging through the supplies when he noticed a shovel. Like many of the things in the storage room, it had a touch of rust on it, but still looked pretty usable.

Somehow, Keisuke's words about them being haunted came to his mind.

He'd read a few ghost stories back when he lived in CFC, both out of a teenage craving for horror and as a way to test his own bravery. And it occurred to him - it was only the restless souls, the ones who died in pain and regret, who resorted to haunting.

Perhaps, things would've been different had they been given a proper burial...

"Yo, Akira, what's the holdup?" Tomoyuki called out to him, his voice impatient.

It was a wild idea, yet Akira's mind wouldn't let it go.

"Do you know if boss would allow me to borrow a couple of tools from here for the weekend?"

Tomoyuki shrugged.

"Hell if I know. Don't see much harm in asking him, though. He seems like a chill kinda guy. Now let's get this over with, I've got places to be!"

  Akira took the long route back home. With the dilapidated state their entire country had been in, it wasn't that hard to find an abandoned lot that seemed fitting for a possible burial site. Especially on the outskirts of the town, where Keisuke and he lived.

Next, he began collecting the wood to make the crosses out of. It wasn't much of a feat, either - this part of town was rather unkempt, with lots of wreckage and debris still lying around on the streets. The government hardly made any effort to clean it up - it was mostly ordinary people who were driven either by a desire to make the street they lived on more tidy or were looking for building material for homemade furniture. Akira's only concern was that somebody'd take whatever he'd been stockpiling for themselves, now that it was put into a neat pile. He made an effort to pick out shorter, thinner boards of wood - the ones that couldn't have been made much use of.

It was getting dark when he realized he should've been home for hours by now - and Keisuke was most likely getting worried sick.

"Akira!" Keisuke anxiously grabbed him by the arms the minute he set foot into the apartment. "Where have you been? Are you okay?"

"'Course I am," Akira'd slap himself if he could. The last thing he wanted to do is make his friend worry. "Sorry I made you wait."

Keisuke pulled him into a hug so tight Akira felt his feet lose touch with the ground.

"Seriously, Akira! What took you so long?"

Akira considered his words for a minute. He never wanted to lie to Keisuke, but he didn't want to let him in on the details of his plan as well. Not yet, at least.

"There's something I want us to do together," he said, as vaguely as he could to neither spoil the event nor let the overly anxious Keisuke wind himself up. "And I was making preparations."

"Together? Us?" Keisuke echoed, his cheeks starting to blush. His mind sure would wander towards romance at the slightest provocation.

"It's nothing like that," Akira said abruptly, only a second later, in classic Akira fashion, realizing what kind of effect his blunt words would have on Keisuke.

"We'll do something like that next," he added, giving Keisuke the softest and most promising look he could muster. And then, a gentle kiss on the cheek.

  Akira was a bit nervous about approaching their boss to ask for a favor - he had messed up one of the orders a day ago, and surely wasn't in the best of graces. His boss, however, didn't even think of holding it against him.

"No prob," he said, opening the storage room for Akira without a second thought.

"Be careful with that, sir," Akira warned him. "Things fall out of there sometimes."

The same shovel Akira was hoping to borrow landed on the floor next to them as if in an agreement.

"Man, this place could use some stocktaking," his boss scratched the back of his head. "What'd you want to take?"

He chuckled a bit once he saw the tools Akira picked - a hammer, a saw and a shovel.

"You guys planning to bury a body or something?"

Akira froze in place at his words. He may have been joking, yet it hit too close to home.

"Relax, Akira, I'm just kidding!" His boss gave him a generous pat on the shoulder. "I know you and Keisuke are good guys. You wouldn't take a person's life. Not without a very good reason, at least."

Was Igura good enough of a reason? Akira didn't know if he'd ever find an answer to that. He thanked his boss once again and packed the tools into a bag, his words still ringing in his ears.

Now, it was time to bury some memories.

  As they were approaching the abandoned lot Akira'd picked out, a sense of doubt came creeping at him. In his head, it was a sound idea. It seemed almost poetic, which seemed to fit well with Keisuke's sentimental personality.

But what if it was just in his head? What if this was only going to make Keisuke more upset?

Akira's been putting in effort this time around. Making sure he never takes Keisuke for granted again. Making sure he never dismisses a single thing he has to say. And yet, sometimes Akira still felt like he could never understand him fully. No matter how hard he tried, every once in a while Keisuke's actions managed to go against his every expectation.

"Akira?" Keisuke touched his arm. "Is something the matter?"

Akira swallowed before he spoke.

"I… I've had something in mind. Something I thought could help you. But now I think that it might not be a good idea after all."

Keisuke gave him a gentle, reassuring smile.

"Akira, whatever this is, you've put so much effort into doing this for me. If anything, that's enough to make me happy."

"No!" Akira should've known better than to yell at Keisuke, and yet he couldn't hold himself back. Again.

"That's not enough! Stop settling for that! You deserve better! I should've asked you what you wanted, not gone with some random gut feeling! And…" Akira lowered his voice, desperately trying to pull himself together. "And I shouldn't have raised my voice at you, either. I'm sorry, Keisuke."

Keisuke stared at his worn sneakers, trying to process Akira's words. The turn their relationship took after they'd left Toshima still left him overwhelmed sometimes.

Akira didn't just passively take comfort in his presence anymore. He actively cared about him. It mattered not that he wasn't always good at it. His intention, his effort already meant the world to Keisuke.

"What was it, anyway?" he asked, trying to defuse the situation.

"I thought we could make a graveyard."

"Huh?" Keisuke felt like he lost track of Akira's train of thought. His words felt completely out of left field.

"You know, so we could... Put the lives we took away to a proper rest. Maybe if we did... Maybe if you did... They would finally leave you alone."

Keisuke felt a lump at his throat. The idea sounded macabre to him at first, but the more he thought of it, the more sense it made.

Akira read his silence in a different manner.

"You don't have to do this, okay?" There was a glint of desperation in Akira's voice - he was so scared of hurting Keisuke yet again. "We can turn back home, and..."

"No," Keisuke gave him a firm, determined nod. "Let's do this."

  They took turns doing their jobs. First, Akira dug a shallow hole in the dry, crusty ground, while Keisuke sawed the boards and nailed them together. It was a bit challenging to work in gloves, yet Akira insisted he wore them so that he didn't get splinters.

He really did take care of everything.

After a bit of work, the first small, yet believable cross was ready.

Both of them stared at it while Keisuke held it in his hands. They thought of the one person who wore a cross of his own in Igura. The one person neither of them could bring themselves to bear a grudge against, even for his somewhat underhanded ways. The one person Akira thought, under different circumstances, could have become their friend. The one person Keisuke tore apart in the most brutal of ways. The one who burnt the brightest, and was snuffed out way too soon.

"Akira, do you have a knife?" Keisuke said suddenly.

"Don't think so. Why?"

"I..." Keisuke didn't even register that he was crying before he spoke. "I want to carve a name."

Akira noticed his tears and sat beside him on the parched ground, his firm arm on Keisuke's trembling shoulder. His other hand gave the cross a slight touch.

"I think we can use a nail for that. The wood seems soft enough."

The name was carved in silence, and then the first of many crosses was placed into the ground. The awkward carving read "Takeru".

  Somehow, over time, the emotion seeped away from the work, and it became morbidly calming. Here's yet another one for the victims of the massacre in the Meal of Duty. Here's for the person Akira killed in cold blood, knowing full well of the effect his blood had on Line addicts - Akira was the one to piece that one up together, while Keisuke dug.

The monotony seemed to have lulled the pain away, but the moment the sheer growing number of crosses registered in their minds, it came back with a vengeance.

All of these crosses were once people. Maybe neither of them were perfect men, but they were people all the same. People who wanted to live. People who had the right to live. And now, they were no more, and it was their fault.

Memories came in waves to Keisuke. Some of them he could weather. Some left him down on his knees, weeping and begging for forgiveness of those whose names he's never even known. Akira's been at his side every step of the way, his dirty and calloused hands holding Keisuke tight as he couldn't hold back sobs.

Akira didn't know for sure how many lives had Keisuke taken under the influence of Line. So they kept churning out crosses until it felt like enough.

The sun was setting when Keisuke muttered:

"Think this is the last one."

"Got it," Akira gave him a nod and started to dig.

"Akira, you still have that nail we used for carving?"

"Think we've just used it for one of the crosses. It wasn't in that bad of a shape," Akira paused, leaning his tired body on the shovel. "You know this guy's name?"

"Yeah," Keisuke sat, his legs crossed, as he took the last nail out of the box. "I don't know for sure if he'd died or not, but… It feels right to give Nano a place to rest as well."

  Keisuke leaned on Akira's shoulder the entire walk back home. He didn't think it would take that much of a toll on him, yet it was plain to see his legs could barely bear the weight of his body. His head felt like it was about to split, too - the tears and stress had finally caught up to him. It took every last bit of his strength just to take a shower.

And yet, when he fell asleep at night, it was a deep, dreamless, undisrupted slumber. And when he opened his eyes at dawn, he didn't feel the breath of the dead down his neck. Only the warmth of Akira's embrace.

Keisuke pressed his ear to Akira's chest, listening to his quiet yet steady heartbeat.

His friend, his lover, his dearest Akira was alive. And he, Keisuke, was alive as well.