#for fuck’s sake she could have been enjoying her $$$ in the abyss where she’s been since like 2014 WHYYY

[old-memoria]

That Reddit comment section voice in my head telling me not to listen to the new Katy Perry song… why did I ignore it…

[veronicaphoenix]

Title: Into the Abyss of Bad Habits — Part Two | Words: 14k

Tags & trigger warnings: threesome, p in v (protected and unprotected), oral sex (both receiving), anal sex, use of sex toys, ice play, slight bondage, blindfolding, fluff, comfort, angst, and a lil bit of drama?

Author's note: I cannot for the sake of the universe write anything short. This has been a problem of mine since I was in school lol. I'm sorry if this feels rushed at parts, tho. I didn't want to delay any longer and it's not beta read. I might do some changes in the future. Anyway, buckle up! This is going to be a wild ride! (Also, thank you to everyone for the support on this! It means a lot <3 I'm sad 'cause we're not getting any more oliver!noah content).

INTO THE ABYSS OF BAD HABITS — PART TWO

I let out a sigh as Alana kept looking at me as if my anguish amused her. It had been nine hours since I sent the text. Oliver had replied with three giant big smile emojis, while Noah had kept it as simple as per usual with a simple “good” that made my stomach swirl. 

“Could you please not talk about this to anyone?” I asked Alana, my eyes casting furtive glances around the shop to make sure nobody had caught into the topic of our conversation. It appeared that of late, I was constantly evading prying eyes, as though I was orchestrating someone’s murder. 

“I won’t, of course,” she assured me, waving a hand in the air to dismiss the matter. “It’s none of my business.”

“It’s somewhat…” I hesitated.

“I understand. People are still stuck up with traditional ideas and stuff. Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me.” 

“It’s not a secret,” I corrected her. “But I rather keep this private. The guys have an image to maintain and I don’t want to fuck it up.”

“I don’t think you should worry about that. After all, I’m pretty sure given the way they’ve been looking at you since the tour started they couldn’t care less about their image. Besides, it’s their job to manage those things. Leave it to them to sort out their image. You do you and enjoy your trip.”

I let out another sigh followed by a smile. 

“Seriously, get it” Alana insisted, gesturing towards the cute lingerie set. It was certainly the cutest thing I had found in the entire mall, and I knew Noah would love it. Despite his feral demeanor in stage and in bed, he loved all things cute and adorable. It was some kind of kink —among all the others he had—, but I wanted Oliver to like it, too. I hadn’t spent enough time with him to know which things exactly turned him on and off, and this time it wasn’t just about Noah. I wanted to please them both. “It’ll drive them crazy. More than they already are. And if they weren’t joking when they discussed every thing they’ve got planned for tonight, if I was you I would take a trip down to the spa at the hotel and relax for a while.” 

As the bartender in the club filled my glass, all I could think about was Noah and Oliver on that stage, the way they had moved around each other, performed in a synchronized rageful performance to deliver an ecstasy to the public. I could only think the ecstasy that was waiting for me back in the hotel room. 

I handed a ten pound bill to the bartender and thanked him after grabbing the glass. 

I turned around, making my way back to the dance floor where the girls were having fun. It didn’t take me long to spot Oliver not far from where I was standing. 

Under the lights and the music, he looked extremely good in faded denim jeans and a black Cannibal Corpse t-shirt. He was caught up in a conversation with Lee and another guy that I remembered as their tour photographer. He was occupied, his mind somewhere else, but I couldn’t help the heat pooling down between my legs at the idea of having him all to myself that night again; that I would taste him, that I would drown in his scent as he fucked me in any way he wanted. The best part? Whenever I would look to the other side, I would find Noah, waiting for his turn.  

Now that I was adamant on my decision, I was hungry for them. 

I started swaying to the music, hoping it would take away some of my anticipation. I sang, and laughed, and danced, thinking that I was doing it just for fun when deep down, I couldn’t lie to myself. Every move was meant for the two men. I was dying to catch their attention, to draw their gazes toward the dancefloor where I was standing, clad in a tiny black backless dress and same color high heels.

As if sensing my thoughts, Noah entered my line of sight. Contrary to Oliver, he was standing by the bar counter on his own, facing me, leaning on an elbow, the cap he had worn during the performance with Bring Me the Horizon still on his head, and a similar turtleneck shirt covering his torso. 

A lonely wolf. 

His intense stare was fixed on me. He had been eyeing me the whole time, watching me with a hawk-like intensity. There was a dark tone in his eyes that I’d never seen before. It was as if he was sizing me up, preparing to pounce and consume me whole. I immediately felt a sense of inhibition, a part of me tempted to shy away, but the pulsating rhythm of the music discouraged me from doing so. 

I didn’t want to back off. 

I swayed gracefully, succumbing to the subtle cadence of a Måneskin song that seeped through the speakers. As the seductive beat of the music coursed through my veins, I began to move with more fervor, swaying my hips sensually to the pulsating bass. My fingers traced invisible patterns in the air, a teasing prelude to the seduction that would follow. The song, with its raw and electrifying energy characteristic of the Italian rock band, fueled my movements. 

I conveyed my desire for Noah as I moved, my body a mesmerizing silhouette. As the chorus of the song reached its peak, I used every beat to accentuate my movements. I could see his restraint, a subtle tic in the muscles of his jaw beneath the shadows cast by his cap and the flickering lights of the club. 

Then, he was walking towards me, confident long steps. His magnetic presence drew the attention of some of the people around. He was fucking alluring, there was no denying, but despite of it, his eyes remained solely focused on me. 

I swallowed. 

The air thickened around as he circled me until he was positioned right behind me, his whole body engulfing mine. 

“You’re testing my patience,” he said. The softness and delicacy of his tone rivaled his emotions and intentions. 

Well, that’s what you get for making me cry, I thought. Instead, I said, “I don’t want you to have any with me tonight.”

“You better watch that mouth, or you’ll get what you want,” his breath burned against my neck.

Before I could formulate a response, Noah had already walked away, leaving me yearning for his touch and his threat, my skin covered in a thin layer of sweat, the spot between my legs damp. 

One day I would just tie him to the bed and have my way with him, give him a taste of his own medicine. 

My expression must have amused the other man that was eyeing me, Oliver, because immediately I heard his grave laugh behind me. 

“He’s got it bad,” he sang, his hands quickly finding my hips.

“You think?” I asked back, looking up at him from over my shoulder. I took another sip of my drink. 

His green eyes fell on me and I suddenly felt dizzy. The dancing and the images of what could unfold tonight had me on the brink of losing myself. His gaze was piercing. I wanted to reach up to him, grab him by the neck and pull him towards my mouth, taste the drink he’d been engulfing in. The stubble on his face and his hard facial features made it really hard to resist the urge. 

His thumb found my bottom lip and he pulled at it. 

“I know because he’s not the only one feeling like that.” 

He didn’t say it, but it was obvious that the thoughts running through his mind in that moment weren’t very holy. 

“I think it’s time we get out of here,” he decided, releasing my lip. “I don’t think I can stand seeing you move like that another minute and not taking you to the restrooms and fucking you senseless.”

“Don’t hold back on my account,” I conceded, taking a step closer to press my body against his. 

“Not here,” he replied, moving some wild strands of hair out of my hair and taking the glass from my hand a moment later. “Noah is waiting outside. He’s as hungry as I am, so we better go.”

It took me a few seconds to nod. He gave the half empty glass to a passing waiter carrying a tray. Taking Oliver’s hand, I trailed behind him as we stepped outside. When the exit doors opened, the crisp night air greeted me, causing me to slightly shrug my shoulders and shiver. Oliver was quick to notice, passing me his jacket. I put it on, feeling utterly small inside the large piece of clothing. 

Noah was standing by a wall to the left of the brick building, one foot propped up against it, hands tucked in his sweatpants pockets. He looked terribly good, like a bad boy taken out from romance novel. 

When he looked at me, I knew there was no turning back. I tightened my hold on Oliver’s hand and followed the boys into the taxi that was waiting to take us back to the hotel. 

I held my breath the entire ride back home and then in the elevator. I can’t recall feeling more anguished any time in my entire life.

The hallway was empty, immersed in the quietude of the late night. The muted lights casted a warm glow around us, and the carpet underfoot absorbed the sound of our footsteps. We stopped in front of my room. I turned around, cheeks flushed and heart threatening to come out of my chest.

“Can I have a few minutes alone? I would like to… change into something a little bit more revealing.”

“More revealing than this little black dress?” Oliver questioned, eyeing me up and down. 

I nodded, my eyes traveling to Noah. He hadn’t said a word since we left the club, but he had made sure to make the taxi drive back to the hotel a hell of a journey. 

I had sat between both in the backseat. As soon as the vehicle started moving, Noah’s hand found my thigh. When I looked up at him, his gaze was fixed on the passing landscape beyond the window. He fingers ventured closer to the spot between my legs. I glanced panickily at the driver. Fortunately, he was too focused on driving. I wanted to protest to Noah, but, as if he could sense my words coming, he grabbed my flesh and squeezed. Not enough to hurt me but enough to warn me. Oliver, meanwhile, made his intentions clear by moving his jacket down my shoulder with his smirk and his hushed dangerous laugh. He spent his time with one arm around me, his fingers caressing my bare shoulder. Occasionally, he would press a kiss to my hair and mumble some sweet and nasty words that had me flushed from head to toe.

I was holding my breath as if I was under water during the elevator ride up to our floor. I’m not sure if it had been their intention, but they backed up at the end of the squared box and left me to stand in front of them for a whole minute. Their gazes were so hot that they got me sweating at the idea of their eyes looking me up and down and thinking of all the nasty things they were going to do to me in less than five minutes when they had me naked in the bed. 

Pretending not to care and using the only courage that I could gather, when the doors slid open, I let Oliver’s jacket slid seductively down my shoulders. I swayed my hips to the sides as I walked through the hallway with purposeful strides. Then I removed the jacket completely and handed it to Oliver without uttering a word. 

The look on their faces? Oh yes, they were fighting hard to keep their primal instincts in check. Good for me, they would unleash themselves in the next few minutes. 

“Of course you can, doll” Oliver said then to my request. 

I looked at Noah. He nodded, encouraging me to go inside. There was still something guarded about him, about the way he kept looking at me and at the same tried to avoid my gaze when it became too much. 

“I’ll be quick.”

“Take your time,” Oliver replied. 

I opened the door of the room and turned back to give Oliver the card key. I stole once last look at them before slipping into the room. 

Alone, I stood against the door, their lustful gazes imprinted on my mind. Oliver’s eager playfulness. Noah’s hunger.

I filled my lungs with a deep breath before hurrying to the bathroom, where I had left the bag containing the lingerie set. 

I changed as quickly as I could, my hands trembling and my fingers failing me when I wanted to clasp the bra because all I could think about was that I had two men waiting outside my door; two men waiting to touch me, taste me, fuck me.

I hung the dress in one of the hooks behind the door and looked at myself in the mirror, checking my face, my hair, and my body.

I had never felt too sexy, only on special occasions. It’d been hard to find someone that appreciated these things, the little details of buying something not only for yourself but to impress them. 

I took one more minute to compose myself, relax. I inhaled deeply, exhaled slowly.  

Ready, I climbed on the bed, kneeled on the mattress, and quickly typed a text in the group chat letting them know they could come in. I tossed the phone onto the bedside table after putting it on silent and waited with my knees pressed together and my hands resting on my bare thighs.

The room was cold, but I knew the temperature was just about to increase.  

The moment they came in, the heat of their bodies filled the space.  

Oliver let out a whistle.

“We’re in for a treat, man,” he slapped Noah in the chest with the back of his hand as his eyes racked me up and down. He left a bag that I hadn’t seen before on top of the desk without looking away from me. 

Oliver extended his arm, inviting me to him with the offer of his hand. “C’mere. Let me see you.”

I rose from my seat and stood up in front of him, feeling a mixture of self-consciousness and a newfound allure.  

“Did you wear this just for us?”

I nodded, sharing that I picked it up that morning at the mall. 

Oliver responded with a smirk. “You know how to spoil us, huh?”

“Do you like it?” I asked.

“Do I like it?” Oliver seized my wrist and drove my hand down to his crotch. He was already semi-hard and buzzing hot. “I think that’d be an understatement. I can’t wait to hear you scream my name,” he breathed against my neck. “You look so sexy, doesn’t she, Noah?”

Noah. 

I looked at him from over my shoulder, sending a kittenish smile toward him. 

“She looks like a treat waiting to be devoured,” he groaned.

He stood motionless, assessing me like a hawk at its pray. Then he approached me, turned me around. I removed his cap and let it fall on the floor, his short brown locks falling over his face. He grabbed my jaw without too much pressure, he lifted my head and his mouth found mine. The kiss was slow but heated, a message to convey everything he wanted and more. His mouth was a warm haven. His lips were silky, and his taste; minty. He dazzled my senses as he slid his tongue inside and dominated everything he touched. I could feel Oliver’s heat emanating from his broad body at my back. Two seconds later, one of his hands caressed my hip and slid down the curves of my ass. A slow burn. He eased me against him, my back to his chest, and his erection nudging me.

I barely had time to react with hot shock and a blistering curl of desire in my belly before Noah’s fingers tangled in my hair and he dragged my gaze back to his brown eyes.

A kiss was pressed to my neck, —Oliver—, where my pulse was increasing. 

This is going to go fast, I thought. They’re not going to waste any second. 

Their restraints were weakening, and I felt powerful, like a goddess. Couldn’t believe I was able to do that to not only one man, but two. 

“You should decide a safe word before we start,” Noah suggested, pulling away and licking his lips. 

“Am I going to need it?” I asked, a hint of cockiness in my tone.

“It’s not my intention,” Noah assured me, gently touching my chin, “but you should have one.”

“Okay. Umm…”

It was hard to focus with Oliver’s mouth still peppering kisses all over my shoulders. He looked at me from the side. 

“Why are you smiling like that?” He asked. 

My smile widened. 

Why did I feel so confident? Why did I feel that this was meant to be; that it was right where I was supposed to be?

“Can it be ‘antivist’?” I proposed.

Oliver snorted. I was trying to break the ice. Truth was, I was very nervous and a little bit scared despite my courage and the way I was managing my behavior. I had never been with two men, much less with two men like Oliver and Noah, tall, muscled tattooed guys that knew what they wanted and could get very dominant, especially Noah with whom I had had my fair share of experiences.

“This is serious,” Noah reprimanded.

“What’s wrong with it?” I questioned. 

“‘Antivist’ is fine,” Oliver concluded. Here we go again, I thought. Noah striving for a cold, macho attitude while Oliver was exactly doing the opposite with his laid-back, playful vibe. 

“The moment the word leaves your lips, we stop, yeah?” Oliver clarified.

I nodded. 

“Get back on the bed,” Noah instructed, patting me gently on my ass cheek to encourage me. 

I obeyed him. By the desk, Oliver emptied the bag he had brought in and two boxes of condoms, lube, silky rope, a black mask, and other small packages spilled on the surface. Oh, my. 

“What have you planned?” I asked sweetly, settling, my moves subtle as a cat’s slow walking. 

Noah’s lips quirked into a little smile. Finally.

“Tonight’s about you, but we don’t want you to spoil the surprise. You’re going to have to trust me. And Oli.” 

“Alright,” I shifted on my seat, impatient, excited, my hair falling over my back and chest. Oliver moved it over my shoulders when he came to stand at my side, his fingers felt like fire on my skin. 

“Why don’t you lay down for us, doll?” 

I laid down on my back, tempted to bend my legs and keep my knees together. I knew that would only piss Noah so I lay still, legs flat, hair haloing around my head. 

“Good girl,” Noah praised. 

Oliver’s fingers traced a path in my thigh, making me get goosebumps. “So beautiful.”

It was intimidating to see them from my position. Their presence was both thrilling and overwhelming. As they loomed above me, I became acutely aware of the vulnerability of my position. Yet, there was also a sense of liberation flowing through me as I acknowledged that, for one night, I could let go of everything and enjoy every second of the pleasure that awaited me. The bed beneath me felt both a sanctuary and an arena.

Noah excused himself for a few seconds only to come back holding something in his hand that I couldn’t see. He stood on one side of the bed, leaning in.

He bent down so that his face was leveled with mine as Oliver’s fingers continued their tantalizing dance on the sensitive skin of my legs, creating a symphony of sensations. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked Noah, my voice hushed. I was aware that perhaps this wasn’t the most opportune moment for such a question. Yet, there was no other time, and Oliver was already in on this ride. I just wanted to make sure Noah was truly okay with this and that he wasn’t doing it just to please me at the expense of his suffering. I wanted him to enjoy this, too. 

“Yes.”

I raised an eyebrow, my skepticism obvious.

“You’re going to have to convince me,” I told him. 

“Oh, trust me. I will,” his tone shifted, a smirk playing on his handsome features. “Lift your head,” he instructed. “I’m going to blindfold you.”

He showed me the mask, letting it dangle from one of his fingers just above me. My eyes must have told him that the idea was not very welcome because immediately he said in a whisper: “I’m not going to let anything happen to you. You said you trust me, right? That hasn’t changed?”

“No,” I affirmed, swallowing the lump in my throat.

“I promise you’re going to enjoy this.” With that, the black mask covered my eyes. “I will, too. We’re going to have a fucking great time, kitten.”

Noah’s minty breath lingered over my lips. His tone had changed. I was familiar with that minx mixture of gentleness and danger. 

“You look fucking delicious in this,” his hand found the skin on my tummy and pressed lightly as he wandered down, his fingers adding fuel to the fire burning inside of me. The sensation of his digits moving slowly over my body at the same time as Oliver’s roamed my thighs made my breath hitch. “But we’re going to take it off you in less than five minutes.” 

“Hell yeah,” Oliver agreed. 

That was their last promise before Noah’s fingers reached the hem of my panties and stopped there, leaving me yearning for more. I could feel him analyzing me, my expression, the way my body reacted. 

He was back. The Noah I knew: my friend and my lover. He didn’t know how much our argument had affected me, but if he continued in this behavior tonight, if he played his cards right, I’d let the past behind. 

Suddenly he gave a gentle slap to my pussy, and I couldn’t contain a moan. 

Oliver’s laugh echoed in the room. Before I could drink in the sound, one of his hands slid from my legs to my rib cage and then straight up until he enveloped one of my breasts in his hand. He fondled it for a few seconds as I awaited Noah’s next move.

“This feels nice,” Oliver’s voice said, “but I know exactly how nicer it feels when these pretty tits are uncovered.”

A male hand slid under my back. I arched to give them access, and keeping up with the promise, in less than five seconds my bra was unclasped with a single pinch of Noah’s fingers. The straps were slowly peeled off from my shoulders, and I couldn’t tell if it had been Noah or Oliver. Maybe both. The heat of their bodies was right on top of me. The scent of their masculine perfumes surrounding me, intoxicating me. 

One of them grabbed the garment from the little space between the two cups and gently pulled. I moved my arms to help the bra come off my chest. A moment later I was topples, my nipples already erect but hardening even more at the cold air. 

I knew this was going to be fast, but I wasn’t prepared for Oliver’s quick pinch with his thumb and forefingers, and I screamed, desire jolting me and spreading down to the spot between my legs. He rubbed it between his fingers as I started shifting on the bed, my lips parted, drying. 

“She loves having her nipples played with,” Noah told him. “She’s super sensitive there.” His fingers found my left nipple and he grazed it, a ghostly touch. “I made her come once by merely lapping at them.”

I flushed at the memory and the fact that he shared that with Oliver. I thanked the mask I was wearing, otherwise I would have covered my eyes with a hand.

Noah, always so perceptive, must have sensed my embarrassment. Maybe my whole body was flushing. 

“There’s no room for shyness tonight, kitten.”

I let out a sigh, giving up. Before I finished letting it out, it transformed into a breathy cry when Oliver’s mouth covered my right breast, his vampire teeth starting to scrap the nipple ever so gently. 

He continued to lavish attention at the sensitive bud with a series of slow, tantalizing licks, followed by a firm suck and a gentle bite, all while Noah circled the bed. Next thing, his hands were on the back of my knees, pulling me towards the edge of the bed. 

“These gotta come off,” he declared as his fingers played with the elastic of my panties. “They’re really cute, and I hope I get to see you wearing this again soon, but now… I don’t want anything between my mouth and your pussy.”

His bold statement made me breath his name out. Oliver’s relentless torment showed no signs of slowing down, either. The intensity of the experience felt like a thrilling ride, and we were just strapping ourselves in.

Noah’s hands ventured to my belly. His fingers traced a fiery path along my ribcage before descending again. In a swift motion, he pulled my panties down and through my feet, discarding them on the floor. 

One of his fingers ran along my folds, taking in the slickness that already covered me. It wasn’t enough. I wanted more and I wanted it now. 

“Do you want Noah’s mouth on your pussy, doll?” Oliver said to my ear. The moment he pulled away from my breast I missed the touch of his tongue, but he made sure I wasn’t left unattended as he used his fingers to keep my nipple stimulated. 

“Yes,” I said. “Yes,” I said again. At this point I wasn’t sure if I had managed to utter the word or just heard it in my own head. 

But Noah continued sliding his fingers up and down, avoiding my entrance. He circled my clit a couple of times, denying me of the pleasure I really wanted, until the bent down so that his lips could kiss the skin right under my navel, travel down, blow right over my clit, and then kiss it. 

“Yes!” 

My hips arched to him, following his touch as he retreated. 

“Noah,” I cried out. 

Oliver pinched my nipple, and Noah’s warning filled the room. 

“Be good. You’ll get what you need. Just let me give it to you my way.”

“Take a deep breath,” Oliver’s voice was back in my ear. “He’s going to eat you out so good you’re going to forget your name, trust me.”

I hummed, suffering at the lack of Noah’s touch. Oliver kissed my cheek, my neck, then bent to trace his skilled tongue around my clamped nipples again.

“You want that, don’t you?”

I nodded. 

“Good. Go on,” the last two words weren’t directed at me but at Noah. 

His thumb found my clit. He fondled it for a few seconds. Then he slipped a finger into me. He brushed the skin inside with want, desire, and pure need. When he pulled it out and dove it back inside, I mewled, but the sound was covered by Oliver’s demanding kiss, his fingers toying now with my other nipple. Attention was brought back to my clit with Noah’s thumb. 

“You’re burning, baby,” he said. 

“It feels so good…” I muttered when Oliver allowed me a moment to breath.

“You want more? You want Noah to eat your pretty pussy while you suck my cock? How does that sound?”

God, yes!

“I don’t know what you’re telling her but she just got super wet,” Noah said. “Is Oliver telling nasty things to you, kitten?

Oliver’s mouth was devouring me. I wanted to answer to Noah. Instead, I fisted Oliver’s hair in my hand and pressed his mouth deeper onto mine, his tongue and mine playing a tango inside of my mouth. 

Noah took that as an answer. A moment later, he began to slide his finger in and out meanwhile rubbing my clit. 

It was too fucking good, and yet, my heat kept building up, reaching new highs when Noah’s breath hovered over my pussy for a second before his mouth covered my clit and I gasped. Oliver smiled against my lips. 

“How close are you, angel?” Oliver murmured. “Do you want to come on Noah’s mouth?"

I hummed frantically, and the room seemed to mirror me, an electric energy filling every corner as Noah and Oliver’s coordinated efforts continued. surrendered to the intoxicating sensations that enveloped me. 

“Angel,” it was Oliver again. He nibbled at my earlobe. “I know this is not the best position for this, but I want you to suck me off while Noah eats you out. Think you can do that?”

I nodded. I wanted to taste him, too, despite being so close to my own climax as Noah’s mouth sucked and lapped at my clit and his fingers kept on playing, deliberately avoiding the spot inside of me that he knew so well. 

Oliver removed his clothes, and this time I cursed the mask that kept me from admiring his inked body and his taut muscles, but specially, specially his beautiful cock. 

“I’m going to move you closer.”

He maneuvered my body until it was drawn to the side edge of the bed. His knees were touching the mattress, and the scent of his dick filled my nostrils as he approached it to my lips.

“Open your mouth.”

He was big and thick. As soon as he made his way in, his weight was present on my tongue. He was right though, this wasn’t the best position, but I did my best to pleasure him and restrain myself from coming as Noah continued pleasuring me. Oliver let out a curse when my lips wrapped around him. With a hand, I grabbed his length, and I started moving my head in a rhythmic motion, trying to keep my moans from ruining my good job.

“Man, fuck, she feels amazing,” he said to Noah. 

“I know,” Noah growled against my skin, sending shivers up and down my body. “She tastes the same.” 

To that, my walls tightened at the second finger he slid in. A second after, he prodded that sensitive spot inside of me and plied it softly but without mercy. 

“I could watch you like this all day,” Oliver murmured.

His words made me clench with helpless arousal. Then Noah stimulated my clit with a long, lagging drag of his tongue. I cried out and clutched the sheets.

“The way you scream only makes me want to taste you more.” Was that supposed to be a warning? “Too bad that’s not the plan.”

He withdrew, standing up. Oliver got ahold of his cock and pulled it away, one hand removing the mask from my eyes. Before my eyes fell to his hard and reddened cock, I looked at both. Noah was still fully dressed and had a dangerous smile playing on his lips, which were wet. The way he licked them while keeping his gaze locked on mine told me he knew exactly what he was doing to me. 

“You did good,” Oliver said, claiming my attention again, touching my hair. He leaned in, holding himself on one hand next to my head as he kissed me. “If you’re ok to keep going, let’s see how good you ride me.”

Without giving me too much window for thought, he moved over me to lay down on the empty space on the bed next to me. As if frozen, I just followed him with my eyes as he accommodated a pillow behind his head and pumped his cock with a hand. 

“Come over, angel.”

I looked at Noah. He gestured to go forward as he threw a condom packaging to Oliver. 

With Noah’s approval and Oliver’s hand working the condom down his length, I got on top of him, only to hear a stern and sudden “no” coming from behind. 

My brows furrowed at Noah’s word. Behind me, he ordered to turn around. 

“I want you facing me while you ride him. Let him enjoy the view of that luscious ass while you give him the ride of his life.”

“Okay,” I muttered shyly. 

I had never done this: riding a man’s cock while looking at another one. The idea made me dizzy. 

“You okay to go on?” Noah asked, checking my face with a little line of worry on his forehead. 

“Yeah,” I nodded.  

“Rub yourself against my cock, pretty girl,” Oliver commanded, his hands finding a place on my hips to help me guide my body against his. 

He felt harder than he had been in my mouth. I looked down for two seconds just to see my folds glide against his length. The image was so erotic that I could feel a new amount of slick coming out of me. How wet can a girl get? 

“That’s it. If you’re planning on killing me, you’re on the right track, doll. Now, lift your hips. I can’t wait to feel how tight you are again.” 

I lifted myself, holding my weight on my knees. His tip pressed against my entrance. I was wet enough to make the journey in easy as hell. Oliver moaned as my body covered his length, inch by inch. I focused on the sound, holding my own moans as Noah held my chin high, his brown eyes demanding my gaze to remain on him. 

Is this what you wanted? His eyes seemed to ask. ‘Cause we’ve got more to give you.

“Take my shirt off. Touch me. Ride him.”

Noah wasn’t one to ask the easy tasks, was he? I wasn’t one to give up without trying. 

I lifted my hands to the hem of his shirt, only to be welcomed by a thrust from Oliver that made me whimper. How the hell was I supposed to focus on undressing Noah when I had Oliver moving inside of me? Guess I was bound to find out. 

My hands trembled as I started to lift the cotton up, shoving the clothing up Noah’s abdomen, across his inked skin. He was as beautiful as Oliver, all those designs etched on their skins forever, as if they were works of art on their own right. I sensed Noah repressing a shiver when the shirt bunched under his arms and I yanked up, which made me rise my hips given that Noah’s height was above the average. 

Oliver had been waiting for that moment to thrust in again, his cock filling every inch of me. I had missed how good he felt since the moment we had sex days ago.

“Oliver!” My head fell on Noah’s chest. 

His hands found my wrists and he told me to keep going. 

“Slowly. It doesn’t matter how hard he fucks you. You can hold it, I know.” There was a small reassurance in his voice as I bit my lip, my hips working on their own accord with Oliver’s body. 

It was a struggle to remove his shirt off, but the moment I did I felt relieved at the touch of his bare shoulders under my fingers. One look down, and I was blessed with the sight of his bulge. If he didn’t remove his pants off soon, too, he would have a permanent mark there. 

“Should I…?”

“Not yet,” Noah replied. “Hold on to me if you need to. Now move.”

“Just like you did on that dancefloor,” Oliver’s voice interceded. 

I pulled Noah closer. I wrapped my arms around his neck and started swaying my hips in and up and down, a circling dance. Oliver’s sounds were music to my ears. No need for another Måneskin song or some beat in the background. His pleasure moans were all I needed, every word he uttered telling how good I felt, how good I moved around him. 

I nearly bit Noah’s shoulder when he touched my clit. 

I lost track of time. It was too good to be true; being fucked and touched by the two of them, praised and adored. The realization that I was walking a blade’s edge and that I was going to get hurt soon crossed my thoughts only to be buried under the pleasure I was feeling. I was going to explode. 

“I think our girl here is ready to come, Oli.”

“Yes, please!”

“Come on, babydoll. It’s all yours,” Oliver encouraged. 

Ecstasy ripped the sound from my throat as light, color, sensation, and heat all rushed inside of me, detonating through every nerve in my body. I jolted with an unmeasurable force, crying out so loud, perspiration making my body damp. My muscles turned as liquid as water. 

“I got her,” I heard Noah say. Bless him, ‘cause I was sure I couldn’t manage on my shaking legs. 

He picked up my body; one hand beneath my butt, another one at my back. I held onto him with little strength, my hands around his neck, my body limp. 

While Oliver stood up, his breathing heavy, and walked to the small bin under the desk to deposit the used condom, Noah dropped down in the single armchair in the room, keeping me settled on his lap. 

“You okay, doll?” Oliver asked from the other side. He ran a hand through his tousled hair. It had grown so much since I last saw him. 

“Yeah. That was incredible.”

“Better than last time, huh?”

“Sure you’re okay?” Noah asked then, moving my hair away from my face. I nodded. I shifted a bit to make sure I wasn’t hurting his erection. Just looking at it made me hungry again. I was still coming down from my high, but it was clear that the night had just started, and they were not done yet. 

I wasn’t, either. 

Noah was just pulling away from a soft kiss he had laid on my lips when I said: “Noah, I want you.”

“You’ll have me,” he promised, kissing my lips again. “Just have a little patience.”

“You said you wouldn’t have any with me tonight.”

“And I’m trying my best not to stick to my words,” he replied with a smile and a tender look in his eyes. “I want you to enjoy this as much as possible,” he continued, tracing two fingers through my jaw and to my chin. “Let me do it my way. I won’t disappoint you.”

I bit my lips, anxiety creeping in at the memory of our fight the night before. 

He was moving me a moment later so that my back was settled against his bare chest and my legs spread open over his thighs. Oliver was approaching us with a determined stride. 

I was sorting out the number of unholy scenarios that could unfold in the next five seconds when Noah said: “Oli, taste her.”

He fell to his knees in front of me, his eyes leveled with my pussy. I gasped at the image we were bringing to life. In this position, I was so desperately aware that my body was totally naked, wet, and at their mercy. I was seated on Noah’s lap, spread open, which meant that he could restrain me any time, whenever he pleased, while Oliver devoured me. My heart tripped over itself, beating triple time.

I was merciless. 

Noah’s hand slid up from my chest to my neck, his fingers wrapping around my skin as he pulled my head back.

“Lean on me while he enjoys the feast, kitten.” 

Oliver started with the skin on my inner thighs, moving slowly toward my throbbing pussy. I was a mess because I hadn’t been cleaned, and they were making it worse. 

The hand of Noah that wasn’t wrapped around my neck moved to my breasts. He massaged them as he kissed my earlobe, the skin below, and my jaw. 

“So fucking hungry, mate,” I heard Oliver mumble. 

His mouth set on me, and I immediately fisted Oliver’s head to me while my other arm lifted to find Noah’s back hair, which I also grabbed between my fingers and pulled at as Oliver’s mouth worked on me. 

“Oh, God. Oh, God.”

“Feels good, kitten?” Noah whispered in my ear. “Does he eat you out as good as I do?” 

“Yes. God, Oliver, please, don’t stop.”

His tongue pressed torturously slow over my clit, the tip toying with it, nearly with more friction than I could take. This was definitely better than the first time with him, and I couldn’t get enough. He pried me open with his thumbs and stroke his tongue all the way from my hole up, up, over the hard knot that my clit was. Dizziness swept over me. 

This orgasm was going to burst over me in a flash like a fireball. I couldn’t believe myself, how fast I was ready to come when I had barely put my feet back on the ground after the first orgasm. 

However, not even two minutes after his feast started, Oliver retreated and Noah’s hands released the hold they had on my neck and on my breasts. 

“What’s wrong?” I asked breathless, lifting my head. “Why did you stop? Noah?”

I got so caught up for a couple of minutes, trying to see the look on Noah’s face over my shoulder and ignore the aching fire in my pussy that I missed the ripping of plastic coming from the desk where Oliver had moved to and where he was standing now.  

“Get off of Noah’s lap,” he instructed, his voice rough, his erection back up again. “Get on your knees and face him. Unlace him and suck him. I will tell you how.”

“O-okay.”

I followed Oliver’s word without putting up a fight, but I wanted to tell him how rageful I felt at the fact that he had done the same thing as Noah. I wanted to come in their mouths, and yet, they hadn’t let me. I knew there was another orgasm waiting for me, but couldn’t it have been in their mouths? Ugh. I yearned for them. 

I situated myself between Noah’s legs, sat back on my heels, and unlaced his sweatpants and pulled them down with his help. His cock sprung free, and it was oh so beautiful. Before I could speak or even touch him with my hands, Oliver gave me a nudge on the back and Noah slid his hand into my hair, luring me down, lowering me to his waiting gorgeous cock. 

“Tease him,” Oliver ordered.

Noah raised an eyebrow at him. 

Taking a deep breath, I skimmed my fingers up the insides of his thighs, slowly creeping my way towards his balls. Noah moaned as I fitted a hand under his testicles, lifted and cupped them. Gently rubbing my thumb across the soft surface, I licked my lips in anticipation, and I turned my attention to the stiff length of his cock. 

I ran my tongue up his length, from base to crown, finding that spot on the underside that made him gasp. 

“Holy fuck, kitten.”

He shifted so that his dick could go inside of my mouth, but I moved away and sent a sly look his way. 

“Soon,” I taunted.

I kissed his thighs, the tattoos there. I fluttered my eyelashes at him. Seeing him so vulnerable did things to me, even though I knew it was a dangerous game. 

“You do not want to play this game, kitty,” he said as he threaded his hands in my hair, grabbing a fistful. 

Oliver was watching the show over my shoulder. 

“Do as I say, angel,” Oliver said. “Put your mouth on him and suck him deep until I tell you to stop.”

“Yeah, suck me.”

I did so, sucking him inside my mouth, all the way to my throat. 

Noah settled in with groans and whispered encouragement, head laid back. I smiled with my lips wrapped around him when a film of perspiration broke out across his chest, and he began to fuck my mouth with measured lunges of his hips.

He was just as delicious as Oliver was. What was I going to do when the night was over? 

“Keep going,” Oliver commanded, setting himself behind me. “Grab onto his thighs and lift your ass, spread your legs, doll.” Not like I had much option for he was already working them open. 

I was tempted to look back, but it proved to be unnecessary when Oliver kissed his way up my back and shoulder. A sex toy appeared in my line of vision as I sucked Noah. A satisfyer.

I swallowed, and Noah groaned at the tightness of my mouth.

“Have you ever used one of this?” Oliver asked.

I pulled Noah’s cock out of my mouth with a loud ‘pop’.

“Yeah,” I admitted with a strained voice, “but I don’t think I can’t take it right now. I’m too sensitive.” 

“Don’t worry. Well just try. If it doesn’t feel good, we stop. You have the word.”

I nodded. Oliver disappeared behind me again, his voice reaching me in a hushed tone next. “But Noah told me you’re like a race car: once you’re heated up, you can go on for hours. And I definitely can’t say otherwise after our night together. You gave me a run for my money.”

“Shut up,” I said holding a giggle and slapping his thigh. Noah smiled through his pleasure and his expression warmed my heart. I had been so worried about the reasons why he decided to put us into this situation but seeing him as pleased as I was eased my worries. 

“You have the word,” Oliver repeated, his word a whisper. “Put him back on that sweet hot mouth of yours.”

If it doesn’t feel good, we stop, Oliver had said. 

Good lord, did it feel good. So. Fucking. Good. I was a mess in less than five minutes, and I was squirming under Oliver’s touch. His free hand was playing with my left nipple as his other one increased the speed of the suction every minute. 

“Don’t let her come,” Noah instructed, the cadence of his voice rough and painful. The veins on his neck were tensing up as I sucked him.  

“Don’t worry, mate.”

The more aroused I felt, the more voracious I got with Noah’s cock. I moaned around his thick erection, swiping my tongue across the fat head, curling my head around the base and squeezing up. I teased the underside of his balls, traced my finger around the crown. 

“Damn it.” He was sweaty and speechless. Glorious. 

“Angel, wanna give him some payback? Don’t let him come.”

“Oliver, bastard. This is not what we planned.”

“Stop complaining and enjoy her mouth,” he shot back at Noah as he moved the sex toy on my clit. 

“I’m not complaining.”

“Guys…” I muttered at some point, when I couldn’t take the pleasure and I had to release Noah. 

Both their laughs filled my ears. Their presences chilled me to the bone and heated me up until I was about to combust. That’s what they did to me. 

“Okay, doll,” Oliver called out, giving me a break and kissing the dimples in my lower back. “This is how it’s going to go. You’re not going to come until Noah does. He wants to share this orgasm with you. So, the quicker you want to come, the better you’re going to have to suck him. You ready?”

I wanted to say yes to everything, but my mouth was already full with Noah’s big, heavy length again, and Oliver had placed the satisfyer right on my clit again. 

“That’s it, baby. You can take me deeper. Yes, good girl. Fuck yeah.”

One minute. I knew Noah’s cock as well as my own hand. 

It took me one minute to get him to trip over the edge.

“I’m going to come. Fuuuck!”

As he spilled into my mouth, my orgasm washed over me. I pulled out, swallowing quickly. I muffled my screams on Noah’s thigh. I’m sure my nails dig hard into his skin as I held onto his thighs for dear life. 

After a minute, or perhaps five, I was being lifted from the floor, my knees aching despite the carpet. Oliver carried me to the bed and settled down beside me, his hands exploring every inch of my body, delivering comforting massages while his lips left a trail of kisses here and there. His soothing voice accompanying the lingering dizziness in my head. 

“I’m never letting you near me with that toy again.”

“Oh, is that a complaint?” He snorted, amused.

I couldn’t hide my smile. 

“If my orgasms are just going to keep getting bigger, I might pass out in the next one. Just letting you know.”

I had never experienced more than three orgasms in an hour. The credit, of course, belonged entirely to Noah. Tonight, I had the feeling that they were determined to surpass any previous record, adding it to the fact that there were four hands, two mouths, and two cocks in the game. I was flooded with a mix of both excitement and apprehension. 

“That’s not going to happen,” Noah declared.  

Oliver’s lips met mine, reigniting the excitement as his hands explored my body avoiding my nipples and pussy. Noah, having recovered from his own orgasm, observed us for a moment before his arousal stirred again. 

The stamina of these two was something out of this world. They were glorious on stage, but naked and sweaty, hair messed up and muscles all tense? That was something else. 

As Oliver planted kisses on my belly, I noticed Noah near the desk, holding a red silk rope and playing with it in his hands.

He blindfolded me again, adding an extra layer of intensity by tying my hands above my head with the rope.

“Is it too tight?” Noah inquired.

“My pussy is,” I boldly replied, biting my lip. 

“Stop tempting me and being so feisty. You know I’m going to fuck you. Your pussy won’t be that tight when we’re through with you.”

“Amen to that,” Oliver chimed in. He had left the bed to grab a bottle of water from the mini fridge. He sat on the bed a few seconds later and lifted my head carefully, guiding my lips to the bottle. “We need you to stay hydrated. Drink some.” 

I gladly did, welcoming the reliving liquid as it poured down my throat.

“Thank you.”

“Noah.”

He passed the bottle to him, and I heard Noah gulping down water until the bottle was emptied. He threw it into the bin where Oliver’s used condom lay at the bottom.

“I was thinking…” Oliver started to say, “of tying her to the bedposts. What do you think, Noah? Should we keep the blindfold on and tie her to the bedposts? Play with her, keep her on edge for hours until she’s begging us to fill her up?

“Not a bad idea,” Noah replied, the playfulness from Oliver’s tone missing in his. 

“Don’t you dare,” I mumbled, my wrists rubbing against each other due to my restraint. I was tempted to close my legs. 

It was too much, being laid totally naked and wet in a hotel bed while two hot tattooed and very naked men eyed me and devoured me with their gazes. Even if my sight was restricted by the black sleeping mask Noah had put on me moments ago, I could feel their hunger in my bones. 

Then, I felt Noah’s breath on my mouth. 

“Watch us, kitten.”

It was a threat that made me tremble with anticipation. 

“Ohh,” Oliver wailed, opening my legs wider with a hand on my knee. “Someone likes the idea,” he said, aware of my slickness. It was embarrassing. 

“It’s not funny,” I whispered. 

“Says the girl who chose ‘antivist’ as a safe word,” Oliver reeled in. 

Noah lightly grazed my lips with his teeth. 

“I could say the same thing to you about that performance you put on the dancefloor knowing that it would get my dick hard as fuck and I could do nothing about it until we had you in this hotel bed,” Noah replied, his voice hoarse. 

“He’s got a point,” Oliver agreed.

“Spread her open,” Noah commanded. “What’s the time?”

“We’re good,” Oliver replied, following Noah’s words and stretching my legs as open as he could, leaving me totally accessible for whatever he and Noah intended to do. “A couple more minutes.”

“A couple more minutes for what?”

“You don’t get to ask questions tonight, doll,” Oliver reminded me. 

His hands were replaced by Noah’s, and the mattress dipped at his weight. He settled right between my legs, his skin brushing mine. I wanted to touch him, but I knew better than that, so I remained still. 

A hand cupped my left breast, and it amazed me how easily I could identify that touch as Oliver’s. He massaged my flesh for a few seconds before his fingers moved to my hardened nipple. I arched toward him, needing his touch, but he moved away, leaving me and Noah alone in the bed.

“I need to have you, baby,” Noah whispered.He rubbed his cock against my folds and I gasped. Yes!

Instead of entering me, he grabbed my legs, lifting them up while warming his palms to the inside of my thighs. 

“I love your thighs, you know that?”

I did, but I shrugged my shoulders as he settled my ankles on his shoulders.

“You only say it when you’re lost in the pleasure.”

“Hmm.”

I wish I could read his thoughts, see what he saw when he had me underneath him, if he thought I was beautiful or something more than that, if my body drove him crazy. 

Maybe he didn’t need words to convey that, but I still needed them. If he couldn’t give them to me yet, at least I wanted his body. 

“Noah, please.”

He settled right where I wanted him. In one slow thrust, he was in. 

“The way you feel around me… Dear God.”

“Yesss…”

“You’re so wet. Is this what we did to you?”

I nodded frantically. 

“Answer me. I want to hear you,” he said, the roughness of his voice betrayed by the soft kisses he peppered down my knees and thighs. He was moving so slowly that I was about to lose my mind. 

“Yes. Yes, Noah. I’m so wet because of what you and Oliver did to me.” 

“Christ,” was his reply through clenched teeth. “You have no idea how much you tempt me. All the time.”

Without warning, he spread my legs apart and his body covered mine entirely, his mouth coming down to meet mine to kiss me hard and deep. He stayed still for a second, then. When I wriggled my hips, his hand pressed down my hip to kiss me still. I was not expecting his next words, at least not that night, in that situation. 

“I’m sorry for the way I treated you the other night.”

After processing the meaning of his words, I let out a long sigh, sinking into the mattress with his weight on top of mine. 

Well, I thought, you’re definitely making up for it now.

“You don’t deserve an idiot like me,” he continued. His lips so close to mine, but he wasn’t kissing me. He was waiting. 

“You’re not an idiot,” I told him softly. I wished my hands were free so that I could touch his cheek. “Well, maybe a little,” I continued with a little of sassiness.

He thrusted hard and I screamed. 

“Clearly, huh.”

Clearly, I agreed. I clamped my pussy around him, knowing what it did to him. He growled and tried to go faster, harder, only to withdrew not even a minute later. 

Shit.

“No, Noah. Why?”

“You’re going to make me lose it.” 

“Isn’t that the point?” I questioned. 

“Not exactly,” I wanted further explanation, but then he called to Oliver two seconds right before somebody knocked on the door. 

I froze.

“Don’t worry,” Noah said, hovering over me. His naked body, his erection covered in my slick, so close to me again. “They can’t see us from here.” 

 He touched my cheek with his knuckles while I heard Oliver moving around and putting on some clothes. 

He opened the door. 

The minute it took him to come back had me dreading with questions and tempted to remove the blindfold. As he came back, his laugh filled the room and my ears. 

“We’re going to have so much fun with you.”

 “What is it?” I couldn’t help but ask when I felt Oliver setting something on the bedside table. 

 Noah lay a finger on my lips. 

 “No questions. Just feel, okay?”

 A few seconds later, something cold and wet touched my chest and I cried out. 

“Cold?” Oliver inquired, sliding the ice cube between my breasts. 

“Fucker,” I muttered. 

“Exactly. Noah, help yourself.”

No. Not the two of them, oh Go—“Ahh!”

Noah was on the other side of the bed, sat at my side, ice cube between his fingers as he traced a circle around my nipple. Oliver had slipped his to my navel, where a droplet of water filled the space of my belly button. 

“Guys, please… Not this game,” I whimpered. 

“What fun would we get if we listened to you?” Oliver questioned. I could tell by the direction of his voice that he was kneeled at my right side. He traced the shape of my navel as Noah drew an eight around my breasts. 

 “I can’t tell you how beautiful you look spread out like this for us, all vulnerable and wet.”

Noah’s words sent a shiver down my spine only to make me arch my back when his tongue traced the wet pat the ice had left on my skin. 

“Such a sweet girl.” That was Oliver, his tongue having found my skin, too, now playing with my navel. 

I was doomed.

I’m going to die.

“We’re not going to let that happen.”

Oh. I was so far gone I didn’t realize I had said that out loud. Had it been Oliver who said that? Or Noah? 

Who cared, after all. They were both being a fucking dream. I wasn’t in the condition to think clearly, but a voice in the back of my head told me that I would never recover from this night. Not only from the physical imprint it would leave on my body with all their kissing, licking, and love biting as they played with the ice on my skin, down my belly, all over my legs, on my neck, but from the emotional damaged that I was bound to suffer. 

 I rejected those thoughts as I felt Noah’s tongue on my nipple, the piece of ice cube now small trapped in his mouth and touching my hard nipple whenever Noah’s tongue wasn’t flicking it.

Oliver’s large palm caressed my leg from my ankle to my hip, all the while kissing my lower belly, very close to my pussy. He sucked at the droplets of water that had filled my navel. When he was done, he picked another cube and traced the line where my pubic hair started growing, teasing me. 

“Oliver… Please…”

“Because you sound so fuckin’ sweet.”

The ice touched my clit, then slid down my pussy. I couldn’t control my breathing anymore, and neither could I take hold of the cries coming out of my mouth. Noah left me nipples for a moment to check on me, asking me if I was okay. 

 I was, or I thought so. I didn’t know. I wanted Oliver to stop and at the same time I wanted more. 

Noah removed the mask. I had tears in my eyes when his brown, comforting gaze fell on me. 

“Can you take more, kitten? If you can’t, we’ll stop right there.” 

Oliver lifted the ice cube from my skin, waiting for my response. 

 I looked down at him. 

“I… I…” I closed my eyes. “I don’t think I can. It’s too much, too cold.”

“Alright,” Oliver concluded, getting up. “No more teasing. You want to come, doll?”

I turned my head on the pillow to send a pleading look his way. 

“Please?”

“You’ve got it, princess.”

Dropping the nearly melted ice cube on the bucket, he bent down to kiss my lips. They were cold but he was more than welcome to never leave my side if he kept kissing me like that. 

“Kitten,” Noah’s call. 

“Yeah?” At that point, I couldn’t even recognize my voice. It was strained and weak. 

“I want you to ride Oliver. This time facing him.”

I suddenly felt like I was back alone in a room with him, that the space that had been growing between us was there again. Why didn’t he want to share an orgasm with me? I wanted to come around his cock and wanted him to spill himself inside of me, with or without condom. I truly couldn’t care in my state of mind. 

He must have seen my face because he said: “The best part is yet to come.”

Was that supposed to reassure me? Make me feel better?

“I want you to come,” I told him, regaining some self-control, if you could call it that… 

“I will.”

“Inside of me. Now,” I lifted my hips towards him, who was now standing at the end of the mattress, his desire and torment obvious in the way his cock stood up, hard and red. 

“No,” he shook his head, his stare steady. “That’s not how we planned it.”

“I don’t care. I want to come with you.” 

“You’re not ready yet.”

He was really pushing my buttons. I didn’t want to end up fucking Oliver just for the sake of getting back at Noah. This wasn’t what I wanted the night to turn into. 

“What game are you playing?” I asked him, pressing my thighs together, forbidding him from seeing me. Above my head, Oliver untied the rope and fred my hands. 

“We’re just building you up for the biggest orgasm of your life, doll,” he added, sensing the building tension between Noah and me. 

“So let us give it to you, and we will give you our release, too.”

I furrowed my brows at both of them, and glared at Noah before I let Oliver lay on the bed, my movements reluctant. Oliver cuddled me to his side and his green gaze softened until he convinced me. They were doing this for my pleasure above theirs. Whatever reason Noah had to being avoidant of coming undone with me yet would surface in a while. 

“Let me make love to you again, sweet thing.”

Oliver helped me straddle him again. He was beautiful and looked all mine laying underneath him. I let all my worries and uncertainties fly away as I confidently put on the condom, thenn grabbed his cock in my hand and positioned it at my entry. 

I sank down, feeling all of him, moaning in unison with him. 

“You fill me up, Oliver,” I confided, letting myself go again. 

Whatever unresolved feelings were there, occupying the room while the three of us fucked each other’s brains out, would be dealt with come morning. Not now. 

“I know, sweetheart. You’re so tight on me. I wish I could keep doing this every fucking night. I wouldn’t get tired of it.”

All of a sudden, the mattress dipped behind me.

Noah. 

He settled onto his knees, between Oliver’s spread legs, his thighs brushing mine. 

Noah’s hand caressed the curve of my ass and, unexpectedly, two fingers delicately slipped between my ass cheeks, applying a cool liquid. 

I tensed, bracing myself against Oliver’s hard abdomen.  

“Noah?”

“I know,” his voice reassured, soft and calm. “I told you we would give you the best orgasm of your life. Here it comes. We’ll take it easy. I promise.”

Oh.

Oh. 

This meant…

A threesome, in all the sense of the word. 

“But we’ve never… I’ve never…”

“I know. I want to be the first one. Will you let me?”

I took a deep breath.

Let go, the voice in my head said. 

I closed my eyes and gripped Oliver’s skin. His hands were on my hips, his thrumbs tracing soothing circles. 

“Yes. Yes, Noah. Please.”

“When you say it like that… Damn it. You’re going to kill me.” He placed his hands above Oliver’s. His cock rubbed my left ass cheek and I trembled. 

“We’ll go slow. I’m going to slide a finger in. It shouldn’t hurt. Just realx, okay? If you feel any pain, you let me know.”

“Okay.”

Breathe in, breathe out. 

“There we go…” He whispered. 

When his long digit slid in and I took in the feeling of it and oliver’s cook both inside of me, I moaned. 

“Feels good?” Oliver asked, staying still as a statue. The veins on his neck threatening to burst if he had to wait much longer. 

“Yes. It feels… strange but good. I like it.”

“Good,” Noah encouraged. “Be honest with us, okay? Your well-being is our priority, despite what you think.”

“I know,” I cried as he moved the finger in and out, increasing the speed every seconds. 

Then, he let me know he was going to introduce a second one. With both in, he stretched me, taking his time to make sure I was okay, that I was getting familiar with the intrusion. 

“Can you take it, doll?”

“Yes, Oliver. God, it’s… good. I want more. Please.” 

Noah kissed my shoulder, obviously satisfied with my reaction and my honest answer. I loved pleasing him. Pleasing both. I couldn’t wait to have them inside of me at the same time, feel them stretch me out and have them come undone at the same time I did. 

“Do you think you can take me, baby?”

I opened my eyes and swallowed. Clearly, Noah’s cock was not the size of two of his fingers. It was much bigger, and I wasn’t experienced in anal sex at all. However, I trusted him. I trusted Oliver. I had a safe word, and they had kept on reassuring me that this would end whenever I said so. 

“I want to try,” I answered, finding comfort in Oliver’s green earthy gaze. “I want to feel you. I want you and Oliver inside of me.”

“That’s a fucking honest answer, kitten,” his comment made me doubt, then he added, “I can’t wait to make it real for you.”

“Thank you.”

“No need to thank me,” he said, kissing my shoulders and my hair. He moved the wild strands to one side. The breeze making me shiver. “Hold still,” he indicated Oliver. 

I felt him, then. Fingers out. Condom on. Noah’s hands parting my cheeks gently. “Take a deep breath, baby. Push down as I push in, yeah? We’re not going to let anything happen to you. This will feel good, I promise.”

“I trust you,” I breathed out, my mind filled with cotton. 

“Thank you for that.”

One more kiss on my sweaty back and there it was, slick and hard against my entrance. 

He pushed in a fraction, and his head entered me. There was pressure, but no pain, only  the one igniting at the press of his fingers digging into my hips, which I didn’t mind. I forced myself to breathe. 

“Push down, baby.”

I did. A sharp edge of pain sliced me. A couple of small thrusts that turned into bigger ones later and… 

“Christ,” Noah’s voice shook my entire body. A contained groan. Below me, Oliver’s mouth was agape, as if he could feel it, too. 

Noah shoved forward again, easing in another few inches, the last ones. I cried out.

“Damn it, this is fucking tight… Baby?”

I couldn’t speak. I was lost in the pleasure, holding myself in hands and knees, my palms pressing down on Oliver’s stomach. His breathing ragged. I imagined it was because it suddenly got tighter there, between my legs. 

I felt Noah retreating and I wanted to whimper.

“Fuck. Oli, is she okay?”

“She’s better than okay, mate. You should see her face. This is… It just got so freaking tight.” 

“Kitten, I need you to use your words and tell me you’re okay or I’m going to pull out.”

“No! No, don’t! I’m okay. I’m fine. Just— Can you go slow? I need to… get used to the both of you.”

I felt Noah untensing behind me, and slowly, very slowly, he started pushing back inside. As he sank his cock inside of me, his body leaned forward. He pressed a kiss between my shoulder blades. Another one in my shoulder. With one hand he moved my hair to one side again, the movement of his hand ever so gentle. Then, his breath was on my ear.

“You’re doing so good for us. You’re incredible.”

“Can you feel us both, doll?” Oliver’s voice mingled with Noah. 

I was in cloud nine. There was pain, yes, but it had nothing to do with the waves of pleasure that were swallowing me. And we hadn’t even started moving yet. 

“It’s so fucking tight.”

“Oliver, please. Noah. Move. I need it. I need you.” 

“You have us, baby girl.” 

“We’re all yours, princess.”

Then the friction started, and I never felt anything like it. I thought I was going to die. The first few minutes were excruciating, the burning sensation spreading through every inch of my body. The fact that I was sheltering the two of them constricted the space for each of them which made everything tighter around them and more intense for me. I had never felt so full. 

“Man, I can feel your dick. This is insane.” 

“I know,” Noah replied. 

“Faster,” I implored.

They didn’t change the pace. When I opened my eyes, Oliver was looking at me, studying my face. 

“I can take it,” I assured him, my hand sliding up his chest until my fingers found his jaw. I leaned down and kissed him. It was a sloppy kiss. Noah was moving behind me. We were covered in sweat. I couldn’t contain my moans. 

At some point Noah grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up, my back colliding with his sweaty chest. In a second, I had one of his hands squeezing my breast, the other one sliding down until he found my pussy and his index finger and thumb found my clit. 

I let out a cry and grabbed onto his thigh with one hand and onto his arm with the other.

“That’s it,” he growled against my hair. “Let us hear you. You’re clamping down on us and it’s so fucking good. You’re a goddess, baby. I should’ve told you before. I should’ve told you every single time I was buried deep to the hilt inside of you.”

“Noah!” 

“Fuck, man. What are you saying to her? She’s tightening so much she’s gonna make me come in two seconds.”

“Don’t.” Noah told him, returning to his seriousness as he held me. “We’re going to come with her. We don’t come until she does. That was the plan.” 

“I wasn’t expecting this. Angel, you’re… damn.”

Noah sent one last warning to Oliver. 

A moment later, I bent down on Oliver’s body again because I couldn’t keep myself straight. He wrapped his arms around me, and Noah took the chance to grab my hips and guide me towards him as I fought to get Oliver in and out of me again. 

“Oliver, God…!”

“No God, babe. Just me and Noah.” 

I was going to die. Right there right then. This time for real. Yes.

“Touch yourself.”

I swear it was both of them speaking their voices giving the same command. I was mastered, and I didn’t want it any other way. I obeyed. I screamed as my orgasm swallowed me whole, only as another one came rolling in as Noah’s and Oliver’s wails filled the room as they came into the condoms. 

We were so fucking loud, I’m still surprised no one called to let us know that the people next door had complained about the noise.

I had tears running down my cheek as I recovered from the brutal experience I had just gone through. 

When Oliver and Noah retreated, I felt as empty as ever. I wasn’t able to move. It took them a while to be able to react themselves. Only when they had regained some control over their arm and legs they managed to move me to the mattress. 

They cleaned me up and placed kisses on my shoulders and belly as the other whispered how good I had been and how amazing I had made them feel. Noah asked if I was okay twice, trying hard to make my eyes focus on him. But I was too gone for that. I was okay, really, but I was left with no energy. Three orgasms, or had it been four? I had lost count when both of them pounded into me in a synchronized dance that made me experience a new whole definition of the word ‘orgasm’. 

Oliver’s arms wrapped around me, tucking me against his chest. I loved the smell of him, the way his skin clung to mine. I didn’t want to let go ever.

“We’re going to have shower sex in the morning if you’re not too sore,” he whispered after pressing a kiss to the tip of my nose, “after we call room service and we feed you some pancakes and fruit. How does that sound?”

“Hmm. Too good to be true, honestly…” I muttered, falling into a slumber with a smile plastered on my lips. 

Noah’s laugh warmed my entire body as he gently ran a cotton towel between my legs again. 

“Let’s get you dressed, baby.”

I let them do. Between the two, they slipped a huge t-shirt on and put on some white cotton panties that Noah found in my suitcase. He ran a smoothing hand down my hair and kissed my forehead before he excused himself to the bathroom. 

I fell asleep for a while, or maybe it was just a couple of minutes. I couldn’t know. I had lost track of time the moment we had entered the room long ago. When I opened my eyes, oliver was still by my side, propped on one elbow and looking down at me as if I was something worth to be adored. 

He slowly leaned down, careful, and gently pressed his lips to mine. My hand found the spot behind his neck and I pulled him toward me with whatever ounce of energy I had regained while I slept. 

We kissed for a while. I was in heaven cocooned in the safety of his big, tattooed arms. 

Until I was suddenly overtaken by a wave of fear. I pulled away, startled, and looked for Noah only to find him coming towards the other side of the bed and getting under the covers, clad in his boxers. 

I felt relieved. I slid to him when he laid down, looking for the comfort of his body. I couldn’t get enough with just one.

It was starting to dawn on me that I needed them both, and that was very dangerous. 

Noah touched my hair and then my cheek. I crawled up his chest until I could feel his lips on mine. He was fresh and soft, regardless of how fierce he’d been with me a while ago. That’s what I loved about him. About Oliver. They were a combination of danger and safety that sated my needs perfectly.

Noah let me kiss him slowly, pouring into him my gratitude for this night. When I pulled away, we looked at each other as if this was the last sunset we would spend together, so I begged him not to go. 

“Stay till morning?” 

He grabbed my face in his two huge hands and brought his lips closer to mine. 

“I promise I’ll be here when you wake up.” 

Oliver’s chest pressed against my back and he his lips kissed the side of my neck. 

“Sleep now. Get some rest. You’re in good hands.”

I moved one arm back so that my hand could rest against Oliver’s thigh. 

Feeling the skin of both Oliver and Noah under my hands, I took a deep breath, let out a small giggle, and lost consciousness. 

The night was far from over, though. 

I was deep in my sleep, head resting against Noah’s chest and one arm wrapped over his torso when I felt a hand sneaking down the covers to my pussy. 

Oliver woke me up. When he was sure I was conscious and wet enough, he pulled me away from Noah and sat me astride on his lap. His cock already hard. He put on a condom. My panties off.

“Am I going to get enough of you?”

I was nearing my orgasm when I felt a third hand on my thigh and Noah’s hoarse voice reached my dizzy head. 

“Hold it. I want you to come on my cock. Let Oliver get what he wants.”

I wasn’t sure I had the energy in me to do so, but Oliver’s release came soon and before I could realize I was being moved, I was in Noah’s lap, his thick length sliding inside of me and settling in a snug fit. 

“Lay on me,” he instructed seeing how energiless I felt. 

I hid my face in the croak of his neck. Beside from his perfume he smelt like Oliver, all man and sex. 

“Let me know when you’re getting there. I’ll follow you,” he whispered in my ear. He bent his legs and started thrusting, a deadly cadence.  

Oliver had left the bed to clean himself up and drink some water. When he returned, I was laying powerless on top of Noah, no ounce of energy left in me. Noah’s hands were roaming up and down my back, his lips kissing my hair. 

I peered at Oliver from under my eyelashes. I felt so used and satisfied. No wonder whatever minutes or hours I had got of sleep felt like the best I’d had in a very long time. 

“Aren’t you guys supposed to be up early for soundcheck?” 

“Are you in a rush?” Oliver joked.

“Why are you so concerned?” Noah asked, caressing my cheek with his tattooed knuckles.  

“I can spend the whole day in bed, which I will, but you two need to get up early and… I don’t even know what time it is, but I’m guessing early?”

“Well, not every night we get a sweet thing like you in bed so,” Oliver was back in bed, and I felt full and stuffed with joy as he snuggled against me and Noah. “Don’t worry about us. How are you feeling?”

“Super sore and spent, but I’m… surprisingly happy and good.” 

Noah smiled against my hair and his arms tightened around me for two seconds before he let go. 

“Come here,” Oliver encouraged. 

That was Noah cue to get up, remove the condom, and visit the bathroom. 

I laid down with one of my legs on top of Oliver’s, my head on his chest, getting accustomed to the soothing rhythm of his heartbeat under his skin, a lullaby I could fall asleep to. 

“What am I going to do when you go back to the States?” His whisper reached my bones, making me get goosebumps. I was suddenly scared, my stomach felt empty, and my heart…

I lifted my head and put a hand over his mouth. 

“Let’s not talk about it.”

As we held each other’s gaze, I knew that the conversation would have to happen sooner or later. It was not something I looked forward to, much less to the day in which I’d have to get back on a plane and cross the Atlantic Ocean. 

Tears threatened to spill from my eyes. Before they could, Oliver seized my wrist to move it away from his mouth. His huge hands cradled my cheeks, and he brought my face to his, his mouth kissing me deeply. 

“It’s okay,” he mumbled very softly against my lips. 

The bathroom door opened, and Noah came back, running a hand through his brown locks. The sweet smile on his lips made the knot on my stomach tighter. I made grabby hands to him, and he gladly occupied his spot on the left side of the bed. 

I had one hand on Noah’s chest and the other on Oliver’s. 

Mine, a voice in my head screamed. 

“Oli, can you remind Noah that he promised to be here in the morning?”

“I’m going to tie him to the bed with that silky rope he brought. He’ll be here. Don’t worry.” Our voices were a whisper in the dark silent room. 

“What was that?” Noah inquired, his arm wrapping around my naked back and tracing sweet patterns on it. I desperately needed a shower, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave the bed. “Did I hear somebody wants to get tied up again?”

I whined.

“I’m tired.”

“You’re lucky you’re adorable,” he said, kissing my hairline. “Otherwise, I’d get you back on all fours, push your head down the mattress, and fuck that sweet little pussy again.” 

“Brute,” I mumbled.

Oliver’s laugh shook me as I rested on him.

Funny how things turn out. 

I wasn’t sure what woke me up. It wasn’t the sun because it was 6am when I opened my eyes again. It was dark outside. And cold. Inside the room, however, it was warm. As I shifted, I realized I was trapped between two large male, tattooed bodies, and that a sweet pain had settled between my legs. 

Maybe it was the soreness that woke me up. Or the irresistible desire and need to see their faces again.  I had dreamed of them while they slept on each of my sides.  What’s that they say about reality being better than dreams? Well, I got everything. A wonderful reality and then dreams about it. It couldn’t get any better than this.

Noah was sleeping on his back, his head angled towards me, partially obscured by my hair. I spent a while savoring the details of his features, his perfect nose, the slender lips, the subtle growth of stubble along his jawline and above his upper lip. He was not a kid anymore. He was all grown up and pure man. I was tempted to trace a finger on his eyebrow, but I feared waking him up. He looked so peaceful, and he definitely needed that sleep. 

What mattered the most was that he hadn’t broken his promise. He was still there, laying in the same bed where we had made love, one arm wrapped around me, his expression soft and sweet. 

I dared to press a light kiss to his cheek and turned to the other side, my eyes filling with joy at the sight of Oliver on his stomach, his head also angled toward me, mouth slightly open, hair falling over his eyes. He was mesmerizing even in that state. I noticed a small red spot on his jaw. I remembered biting him while him and Noah were fucking me at the same time, I just didn’t think it would leave a mark. 

I kissed it better. 

As I moved above him to get up from the bed, I heard my name leave his lips in a questioning tone. 

“Bathroom,” I hushed back. 

He let go, mumbling something and settling his head back down on the pillows. 

When I stood in front of the mirror after peeing and washing my face, only clad in my cotton panties and Oliver’s Cannibal Corpse t-shirt, I noticed a similar red spot on my thigh. It wasn’t one, but too many. Red and purple splotches covering me from head to toe, love bites that, as I lifted the t-shirt, revealed themselves. They went from my thighs to my neck, some of them on my breasts and others on my hips. 

I was about to smile when a ray of sunshine entered from the thin blinds in the bathroom window, illuminating my side. 

A new day, a new… me?

I tiptoed out of the bathroom, insecurity clinging to me like a second skin. 

Instead of crawling back to the warm spot between Noah and Oliver tempting bodies, the comfy thick bedsheets calling to me, too, I stood there, watching the men. 

My boys.

What had I done?

I couldn’t contain the fear that surged within me, threatening to swallow me whole. 

This wasn’t how things worked, getting fucked by the men you admired the most and then carrying on with life as if nothing happened. This wouldn’t fix anything. It wouldn’t fix me and Noah, and it would definitely fuck Oliver and I because… Because this hadn’t just been a mind-blowing fuck. This had been much more, and I’d be lying to myself if I said it hadn’t. 

Every single emotion and feeling that filled me up during the night was gone. I felt empty. I felt guilty. I had brought this upon us. I had been the one to ask for it. I had put Oliver into this crazy mess when he had made it clear the first night we slept together that we were just friends having fun. Now it was obvious we were beyond that. The way his eyes pleaded to me after he asked me what would happen when I flew back home… My heart started breaking. 

Then, there was Noah, who would have never ever considered sharing his girl. I had forced him on this despite his attempt at opening up to me the night we argued. How clear his stance had been… How jealous at the thought that Oliver had had me to himself, alone in his hotel room. 

And yet, I didn’t care, and he was so good, so good to me, that he had chosen my desire over anything, no matter how much it cost him. 

I was in pieces. They would be too, when they opened their eyes. 

Despite Noah’s promise of being by my side come morning, I was the one that failed to keep her words. I gathered an outfit from my suitcase, my boots, my phone, ignore the ache between my legs, the memory of being sat on Noah’s lap on the armchair, his hand around my neck, Oliver on his knees, his mouth on me. 

I aimed toward the door. 

I dared to steal one last glance at my boys from the threshold. 

My gorgeous boys. 

I promised myself I would never hurt them this way again. It wouldn’t matter how much I craved them, their bodies, their scents, their kisses, their hearts… It wouldn’t matter how much they tried to convince me that I was wrong. I wouldn’t hurt them again. 

I wiped a tear that slid from my eye and silently left the room. 

PART THREE

Taglist: 

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[lilylovessev]

severusloveslily​:

- - -

Severus came and stood near Narcissa, listening to her sister spout off some nonsense. She really was off her fucking rocker. He leaned down and picked up a drink from one of the floating trays nearby. Narcissa always knew what to keep stocked when he was around. He had very much enjoyed this summer with her, it was a nice distraction. He was still devastated over what happened, but he was trying to find ways to forget. 

“Why are you still here?” Severus asked Bellatrix in an unimpressed tone. He really didn’t want to look at her anymore. 

“This isn’t your house, Snivellus. As much as you’d like it to be. You know this little holiday with my darling sister will cease when her husband returns.”

Severus rolled his eyes. She knew nothing, truly. Severus would be taking her with him. He hadn’t asked her yet, of course, but he knew she would accept. He would be the boss, after all, and what he said went. Plus, she would be safer there with him. He could always keep an eye on her and Draco. And he didn’t want her at home after she served Lucius with divorce papers. 

- - -

Severus laid in bed with her, focusing on the little patterns Narcissa was gently drawing on his bare chest with her nails. His fingers were carefully curling around her hair. He loved every moment spent with her. She was the only light in an abyss. He was starting to wonder if this war would ever be over. Without Dumbledore, he felt lost. He knew they knew much more than the Dark Lord suspected, but it still seemed like such a daunting task. 

“Narcissa,” he said, getting her attention. “I want you to come to Hogwarts with Draco and me in September,” he murmured. “Even before then. I don’t want you here with him. With me being appointed Headmaster, I don’t have to follow anyone’s rules. You can stay with me, where it’s safe. We can wake up together each morning. It won’t be very stimulating, given it’s Hogwarts, but anywhere has to be better than here,” he said. 

He searched her eyes as she looked down at him. “Thank you for giving me peace in a lifetime of war,” he whispered. He hoped she knew that he saw every single effort she went to for him. He hoped she knew that he noticed everything and appreciated her every single day. He didn’t voice it enough, he knew, but he hoped he showed it enough. The last few months had been some of the most difficult in his life, but Narcissa had been there every step of the way keeping him grounded. 

- - - 

“You do not need to thank me for loving you,” Narcissa responded, before pressing her lips to his. “And yes. Yes, I agree that we should be there with you. It will be for the best.” There was nothing she wanted more.

The nerves that she currently felt stirring within her were incomparable to anything that she’d felt before. The only time that she’d truly felt like this prior to now, was just before marrying Lucius. However, she certainly wasn’t going to allow this man to slip through her fingers this time for the sake of what everyone else around her wanted. 

She would never forget that night. She’d never forget the first time that they’d come together, quite literally so. It has been the most perfect night of her life. She had known then that the love she felt for him was different from anything that she’d ever felt for Lucius. She wished that she’d known then that this would be the eventuality. Their lives could have looked entirely different. She knew now that she would have happily given up all of this, for a more modest life with him. As much as she loved Draco with her whole heart, a small part of her yearned for the life that they could have had if she’d been a little more brave.

//

Narcissa stayed back, watching as Draco greeted Lucius; who looked, quite frankly, as if he’d been to hell and back. Which he had, let’s face it. Azkaban was no walk in the park. She supposed that a part of him probably wished that he was still there, given just how knee deep in shit that they all were now. Severus had, begrudgingly, agreed to give them a little space just for now. She knew that him being there would only ever add more fuel to the fire, and this was going to be difficult enough. Luckily, they’d also managed to avoid Bella being around, she was elsewhere carrying out some yet more the Dark Lord’s incredibly dirty work. She could defend herself, if she needed to, and could immediately contact Severus if needed. They had been practicing Occulumency, knowing that this was crucial. She was already skilled, somewhat naturally so, but not trained. It was difficult, to say the least. 

“Cissy.”

“Lucius.” 

Slowly, she walked toward her husband, smiling slightly as he pressed his hand to her cheek. She didn’t lean into him. She didn’t want to show him any form of affection, not given what she needed to tell him. 

“What is it?”

She shook her head, her gaze immediately darting to Draco, before they all then retreated into the Manor. She listened as Lucius talked in hushed tones with their son, which she despised, knowing that Lucius would only ever encouraging him and praising him for having taken the Mark. It was disgusting. It was vile that a man could be proud of his son for taking part in such evil behaviour. Her eyes had well and truly been opened, and being so ingrained in all of this was terrifying her. It scared her to think so differently now. She didn’t care about any of this, all that she cared about was fighting for the future that she deserved, and she knew that she’d stop at nothing to get to it.

//

“What are these?” Lucius drawled, staring down at the papers that she’d just handed to him. He looked from the papers, up to her, and then back down at them. It was mere moments before they were up in flames; just as she’d expected.

“How dare you. How dare you even think of this,” Lucius hissed angrily, grabbing her by her throat. He held tight, pushing her up against the nearby wall, knocking a nearby portrait to the floor with the force that he was holding her with. “What have you been doing? Or should I say, who? Who has been the distraction that has led you to want to do something quite as stupid as end our marriage?” He then smirked, tightening his grip on her. She held her hands up to his, fighting to try and get him to release his grip. Her thoughts full of Severus. 

She knew then that he knew. Lucius had always known.

“You are a slut, Narcissa. You are nothing but a whore.” He then threw her down to the floor, before reaching for his cane. He unsheathed his wand, pointing it down at her threateningly, “Why shouldn’t I kill you, hmm? Why shouldn’t I get rid of the property of mine that treats my generosity so poorly? You disgust me.” 

She moved back up onto her feet, shaking her head, “And you disgust me, Lucius. You have made a mockery of me and our marriage, of your son. I love Severus...” He started to laugh dismissively but she merely narrowed her eyes, glaring at him as she continued, “You can laugh all you like, Lucius, but our marriage is over. You have lost me to him, and it’s all that I’ve wanted.” She walked up to him, not afraid of the wand in his hand, “Don’t you dare touch me like that again. What sort of a man lays a hand on a woman like that? Let alone the woman whom he is so afraid of losing.” She smirked, shaking her head, “You are pathetic, Lucius. Pathetic.”

[muffindaddystyles]

Hearth.

A/N: I dunno if I've got any desi/brown/poc readers but if you're reading this I love you so much and you (us) deserve the same validation and representation others get.

Here's a blurb as to what it feels like celebrating Eid with Harry! Enjoy!

Warning: none — just loads of fluff.

More Inspos, Masterlist, Let's Talk

The night's pretty with murky clouds and thick layer of moon's brightness as Y/N cleans her flat, from scrubbing her Persian rugs to deep cleansing her vases back from her homeland. The flame evaporating from her candles scented like springs of Kashmir, flickers from her blowing sheer curtains due to the zephyr flurring outside.

She feels content, at peace waiting for Harry who promised that he'll be at her place by 11. He always comes an hour early helping her in setting the table before the iftari, they've been doing it together since the start of ramdan until today when he texted her he's busy along with a sad smiley.

It was fun. He fasted with her once or twice and would make sure she's hydrated enough once they break it, his love for rooh-afzah (it's a drink red in color made from essence of roses and some sweet herbs) will never fail to make her giggle as he'd demand for more after gulping two glasses already.

Then showing her his tummy along with his food pregnant jokes.

Her classes are online so it gave her time to experiment some cooking. They'd make samosas together and she always had an urge to hold back her cooes as his tongue used to poke out in concentration everytime his diligent fingers folded the samosa sheets skillfully.

"Did a pretty go'job here, innit?" He'd grin raising it like a summat trophy.

The moment he used to leave her flat (ofcourse after giving a tight hug before doing so) they both missed eachother terribly, y/n doesn't like the way her home falls into an abyss without his presence.

He's like a sunshine that warms her insides up.

The whistle of kettle and several raps of knocks on her door drags her from her fond memories of them together, she slings her feet down from the coffee table rushing to open it.

"Angel."

Harry says breathlessly prolly because he climbed three flight of stairs to get to her or that he's utterly flustered.

Her eyes remain struck at the thingies piled in his arms, a box of chocolates, many brown bags and stems of freshly blood ripped roses tucked between his knuckles.

He bought all of these gifts for her.

To make her feel like home.

To be her home.

What the fuck, nobody has ever done that for her —-- she just mighty cry.

Her mouths gupples like a fish too overwhelmed to react her emotions out and he gives her a sweet smile kicking the door shut with his feet -- gestures her to wait when she almost jumps like a cub to hug him and puts everything on the sofa knowing the things inside them's too delicate.

"C'mere, baby." He grins and she doesn't waste a moment falling in his embrace. Her cheeks smashes against his taught chest and she fists the hem of his shirt smiling too hard for her own sake as he sways them with his own rosy cheek squished against her temple.

"I love you so much, thank you." She murmurs gazing up at him with glinting eyes -- arms still lopped around his waist and his chin doubles adorably as he gives her his signature bunny grin kissing the tip of her nose, "Love you too bubba ... don't want ya homesick, at alllll."

The aggressive whistle of kettle parts them away, "Cuppa cha? Then we'll unwrap these pleasanteris." She points at the paper bags.

He nods flopping onto the floor cushions beside the large oak window of the balcony where they could bathe in moonlight.

"Thank you." He quips, kissing her fingertips while slipping his fingers under the handle of mug and takes it from her as she sits infront of him. He admires her for a second —- fawning over how she's looking so soft and cuddle-able wearing a baggy mauve kurta and some mismatched shalwar.

The tearing open of the stuffing tissue brings him back to focus --- this, he wanted to see this happiness dance over her features as she clutches the ethnic traditional dress he bought for her infront of her and when lifts it down he's met by overly excited eyes.

It's ethereal with golden details, handmade wire work and sheer fabric.

"It's gorgeous, pups." She squeezes his hand and he takes the sip of his cha smiling against the rim of the mug shyly, "Wasn't s' sure -- Sarah helped me in collecting stuff." Sarah's Y/N's bestfriend who was the only desi/brown in her filming class.

"No wonder she was being a lil sneak." Y/N chuckles already rummaging for what comes next.

He wanted to make sure he gets her everything they do traditionally in her culture and ate Sara's ears off to help him buy the most special thing and it's right there creating sweet noise when they touch eachother, dangling from her fingers.

"Churiyan .... " She whispers bitting down a smile. She loves glass bangles. Their colourfulness cheers her mood up and she'd always go with her Nani a night prior eid to select the most flamboyant pair of them from a bazar (market).

"This -— " She gestures to the gifts scattered around them, " —-- all of this and you, means alot to me." She sighs giving him a wet smile and he smoothes his thumb against her cheek like she's the most fragile thing to exist.

He watches her in a tad confusion when she stands up with a giggly squeal putting everything away and comes back with a tube of henna in her hand.

"It's chand raat t'night 'cos tommorrow is eid -- usually I spend it with Sarah and we apply henna to eachother, we're horrible at it honestly but now she isn't here 'm gonna bite yours ears —-" He cuts her off. Ushering her to sit back on her spot. He couldn't be more glad to spend all of his time with her whether it's just watching her make designs on her hand with henna.

"Your cha's waftin'." He shakes his head bringing it to her lips, "It's hot." She tells him drawing a circle on her palm and filling it with beautiful darkness of henna.

"Okie then ... " He blows at the hot beverage to cool it down and again brings it to her lips, "Now." He croons softly to her. She holds his wrist taking a sip from it -- he tucks the strand of her hair back and she smiles up at him making him chuckle when she takes a huge sigh as if her soul just woke up.

"What do we d'tommorrow?" He asks. Knowing most of the time they went to Zayn's house on Eids his mother used to fill the whole table with delicious dishes and the whole day was spent having fun.

"We do nothing but have loads of nice time -- I already made a dessert 'cos I know I'll be too lazy in the mornin', and invited your friends if that's okay?" She glances up at him done with her left palm.

"Perfect then," He nods, "D'ya need help with the other one?" He asks grabbing her right hand and the tube of henna from her.

"Yes, please." She shows him her hand covered with with henna and since it's wet she could do one thing wait or let him do it. The second options sounds more good.

"Not on me if it gets messed up." He warns her nonchalantly following the same pattern of her left hand. Stealing glances of her attractive face every now and then, dotting her moles with his intense gaze, he just thinks her brown eyes look more intricate – it's specks as if the forests soil on the first rains when they dilate with her racing heartbeat.

They're like an open book to him and at the same time mysteriously dark that he feels like burning a match to melt in them.

"You did it way better than me," She snorts examining it closely and turns the other way round to lay down on the carpeted floor and rest her head in his lap. He wipes his own hands watching the dark henna leaving a swipe of color on his fingertips.

He pets her hair, dimples milking into his cheeks when she raises her both hands infront of him -- blocking the moonlight that's falling on her, "When I was small I always used to end up getting it on my face and lemme tell ya. Having a yellow blotch isn't even a tiny bit fascinating on the only day you could dress up fancy."

His chest rumbles with giggles and he brings her hands closer to her lips blowing raspberries at them to get them dry early.

Comfortable silence envelopes them in to the point where they could hear crickets singing outside and moonlight sparkling on their skin —- she breaks it cuddling up into his chest.

"I really appreciate this, Harry." Her voice hushed whisper and her cherry stained lips couldn't resist but to patch kisses where his heart lays and she could sense it kicking a pace, "The fact that you did so much just for me -- is beyond my thought. I really feel like home." He let her speak. Squeezing her shoulders to convey the fierceness of his emotions he holds for her. His silken lips pressed to her temple and his eyelids flutters with each spurt of breath she inhales.

"I'll keep making you feel like home, till the day you'll allow me." Today. He for actually felt that his home was never a building or the luxurious furniture adorned inside it, but her. It's always gonna be her.

Because the moment he gets lost in those eyes all he come across is their shared laughter, their moments spent on this balcony right outside sipping onto their chas and watching the city wake up infront of their eyes, going to places he has never been to before, doing things he never thought he'd do in hundered years —- he isn't a big fan of spices but he still pretends like a big boi infront of her while eating pani puri she's oh so obsessed with.

The times she was never embarrassed to introduce him to her community or her friends, and getting soaked into rains even though they could've just used his car, having days planned to make him try new desi dishes, going to buy candles of many scent and shapes with him but then never feeling like leaving the store until he warns her that he'll throw her on his shoulder infront of everyone.

Going to Turkish markets together. He's a bread lover and so all this time he doesn't feel like leaving the shops filled with different kiln and tandoori breads. Eating Simit and drinking black tea in the amardu cups sitting outside the cafe –- he likes it with cheese while she might sound bland she just likes a bit of butter.

Them deciding for hours and hours which Persian rug to buy -- but never buying it apologising to the shop keeper.

Giving eachother head massages from the organic rosemary Morrocon oil that one of her friend gifted her, (Y/N) thinks she's one hell of a masseuse but Harry thinks otherwise —- though he would never ever break her heart so it's better keeping it a secret.

His nose creates a purring sound while he sleeps leaning against the wall, he doesn't even remember when he fell into the deep slumber with his large hand still wrapped around her wrist in a protective manner to keep her from moving.

It's cute.

Though when she stirs to regain consciousness with the birds chirping outside she feels remorseful finding him sleeping in such an uncomfy position just because of her and he wakes up with a loud wheeze —- blinking rapidly to see what just happened only to visibly relax back when she shushes him gently.

"Baby .... shit." He grogs out, knuckling at his eyes pointing at her jaw which's covered into a orangish streak, "Don't tell me." She groans bumping her head against his bicep.

A moment later they burst into fits of hoarse giggles and chuckles. She'd try to suck in air to not to snort and would do it nonetheless driving them more into belly aching laughter.

"Eid Mubarak, I guess?" He cackles loudly. Dimple coveting in to his velvet of skin. Rubs the tip of his nose against her's affectionately and swoons her in his arms to hug her warmly.

"Now -— go 'n dress up, c'mon." He cups the nape of her neck playing with the baby hair there and she whines smushing her face against his chest, "No. Lemme sleep some more."

"Heyyy none of that, c'mon sleepy girl you'll regret it later." He boops her nose smiling down at her fondly and she grumbles mumbling something in between you're so annoying or you're being so much like my mum.

He waits for her laying on the sofa with his arms folded and eyes closed. Prolly took a mini version of nap only to perk his head up grabbing the back of sofa when she returns with wet hair, soft clean face and lips tinted cherry wearing the dress and bangles he bought for her.

An enchantress from head to toe, he wouldn't even complain if she bewitches him.

He needs someone to pinch his bum because he thinks his eyelids might have struck. He takes a dramatic breather mischievously, pupils dilated cutesly and heart shaped lips parted with the sweet loving words in praise of her beauty burning at the tip of his tongue.

His fawning gives her butterflies. Expanding her chest with warmth and she does a three-sixty when he spindles his nimble in the air demanding her to show herself from every angle.

Her head falls back. An echo of happy giggles resonating in the room when he smacks his hand against his chest and flops into heaps of sofa cushions.

"You're fuckin' beautiful, a total knockout." He walks towards her with his hands spread open and takes her's to kiss the inside of her palms, "So are you." Her voice small with shyness. He sits on her on sofa and stays beside her with his chin perched upon his knuckles staring at her like she hung the moon -- as if she's a prayer come true.

"Did you get me ready to d'nothing?" She turns towards him. The curled up fringes kissing the apples of her cheeks same as his fingertips are dying to do so.

"I might sound selfish but it was a trap to get you ready early so I could admire you till everyone squeeze between us ... " He smirks and she huffs sinking deeper into the sofa throwing her limbs in air and his breath hitches when her bangles clanks together producing a beautiful noise.

"Harry!!" She whines.

"Okie, time to fill some grumpy kitten's tummy." He announces standing up to head to kitchen and she shakes her head with a silly smile trailing behind him.

All she knows is that. This Eid she'll have the best time of her life, as she could already feel his energy and love radiating in every corner of her home.

.

@harryforvogue idk why but everytime I'd sit to write this blurb you'd pop in my mind, hope so you're not hiccuping wildly.

[sevsnapeposts]

Snapetober Day 5: Apple orchard.

hello, this one was a bit hard t imagine, but it was oh so fun to write. i love interactions between severus and the other professors. please, feel free to read it over in ao3 if you'd like, and also if yoou'd be kind enough, go give me some kudos over there. thanks, hope you enjoy~.

Day 5 - Apple orchard.

--

Hogwarts was a college of the highest prestige, and as such it had a reputation to uphold. One could doubt its safety, the responsibility professors had in handing out certain punishments to students, and even the expertise of said professors themselves (people pointed to Remus Lupin, although honestly, Lockhart was the blackest sheep ever), but there was something that could never be reproached: The quality of the food.

From mashed potatoes to the most elaborate cake to all kinds of drinks, every meal at Hogwarts was a pleasure. Elves cooked everything to perfection, and if it weren't for a certain professor, everyone thoroughly enjoyed the cooking. Much of it was due to the quality of the products, all being the best of the best, natural and fresh. The elves gathered the very first harvest at the end of the summer holidays, leading to the Great Banquet, the best dinner of the year in the opinion of the vast majority.

And speaking of it, it was primordial to get things done. This year they would have Beauxbatons and Durmstrang as guests, and Hogwarts couldn’t disappoint.

Somewhere in the castle, Dumbledore had an idea.

"I seem unable to understand why we had to come".

Severus hated many things: teenagers, the smell of wet dog, physical contact, Potter, Potter's godfather, Potter's father, and lately Lucius for nagging him about going to see the Quidditch World Cup. But if there was one thing Severus hated more than all those things put together, it was the sun. Especially the summer sun. He had nothing against the nice hot, light-filled days of that time of year, as long as he could be tucked underground, in the sweet, cold shade, surrounded by water and silence and not a drop of sunlight.

Unfortunately for him, the poor man was walking along with all the other Heads of House, and Dumbledore of course, under the tireless and exhausting gaze of the major star. They were on their way to an apple orchard, the one that supplied Hogwarts and where the elves would appear in a few hours. It had occurred to Dumbledore that it would be a fun outing for the five of them, and Severus couldn't have disagreed more, but everyone else was largely ignoring him, determined to have some fun.

In any case, Severus felt his face hot, certain that his pale skin was quite flushed, which bothered him even more. He looked at his companions, for a second envying how fresh they all looked: Pomona was wearing jeans and a plaid shirt, while Filius was wearing some sort of scout outfit that gave him an almost, almost , funny look; Minerva, on the other side, was wearing a dress that reached below the knee, white with small flowers of different colors that made her look much younger; even Dumbledore had changed his usual outfits that (in the young professor's eyes) looked like pajamas to a pair of shorts from which his slender legs peeked out, the long beard braided to keep it out of the way. The only one who had steadfastly refused to change was Severus, who wore his capes and capes of clothing black as the abyss, and thanks to which he was slowly dying of heat. Not even the cooling spell he had cast on himself could do much more than keep him from perspiring.

But he didn't care. He had a reputation to uphold, for fuck's sake.

“Because it's fun!”, Dumbledore exclaimed. Severus walked between him and Minerva, as usual, while Pomona and Filius walked a bit ahead, marveling like little children at every damn plant in the field. “Also, I know you love our summer vacation expeditions and activities”.

Severus didn't reply, but he shot him a cold, unamused look, as for the last time they'd been out on ‘summer vacation expeditions and activities’ he was almost eaten by a dragon.

"Come on Severus, chill", Minerva chimed in, pulling a hat from her enchanted purse. It was huge and colorful, clearly not one that she would ever wear herself. The woman looked at him with almost sadistic amusement. “Look what I got you! It should help you cool down a bit”.

"No thanks", said the young man, looking listlessly at the hat. He noticed that it also had a cleat that was attached into a bun at the back.

He didn't even want to imagine the teasing if word got out. If they had already been unbearable about Longbottom's grandmother’s outfit...

"Tsk, you're going to get a heatstroke at this rate, and neither of us are going to carry you", the professor reproached him, handing the hat to Dumbledore for examination. Severus raised an eyebrow.

"I don't think I have that much luck”.

With another annoyed snort, the group decided to ignore the miserable man again, opting instead to go ahead with the other two teachers. Severus noticed that Dumbledore had put on the hat he was wearing himself and barely had the strength to not snort.

A short time later they reached the top of the hill, where the orchard was. The orchard was somewhat visited, so the landowner had hired some workers to properly care for the people coming and going. At the moment, two young witches were waiting for them standing there, with shorts and shirts tied mid-torso, and thin, light-toned capes tangled around their shoulders and falling to the ground.

Severus was tempted to petrify one of them and change clothes.

The girls welcomed them, very animated, and provided a basket to each one, as well as a tablecloth so that they could sit and watch the sunset if they wanted to. Dumbledore thanked them kindly, and Severus finally put on Minerva's hat when he heard one of the witches comment that smoke was coming out of his head. Minerva laughed at him.

"Shut up".

What had started out as a simple and boring day picking apples ended up being a visceral competition to see who put more fruits in their respective basket after Dumbledore bet 5 galleons that he would be the one with the most. Severus had been in the middle of all the mess, watching as Filius sneakily enchanted apples to fly from Minerva's basket into his own while Dumbledore helped him by distracting the Transfiguration teacher; how Pomona ‘accidentally’ tripped over the headmaster's basket, and in the process of helping him pick them up she took a load of them with her; how Minerva would transform twigs into fake apples to add to her collection.

He hadn't participated in their affairs, of course, because he thought it was the stupidest thing in the world, but he didn't hesitate to gossip to others, starting an argument that ended in apples flying through the air and more than one trampled basket.

Now it was dusk, the ravaging sun being only a bright half disk out on the horizon, slowly fading away. The five teachers had already cleaned up their mess by then, and were sitting on the red and white checkered tablecloth, relaxing after their pitched battle. The only basket that was left intact and capable of carrying apples was Severus', so this had been placed in the center of the group so that anyone could reach out and grab one of the fruits. No one was surprised that Severus was the only one who didn't want to eat one, despite Minerva's scolding look.

But still, the man had already overcome his annoyance, although he wasn’t going to show it out of pure pride. He told himself it was because the damn heat was finally subsiding, which meant he was already able to take off the stupid hat; it had nothing to do with how hilarious he thought the professors' quarrel was, having so much fun with it that he often didn't even realize he was smiling, and that by the end of the day he didn't even remember that he was hot.

"What are we going to do? There are so many! I think if I eat one more I might as well explode”, Pomona complained, who by then had already eaten at least 5 apples. No one could blame her, as they were very sweet, firm without being too harsh, and so juicy that one ran the risk of getting both chin and chest dirty.

How Dumbledore didn’t get his beard dirty, nobody knew.

"The elves will take them to the castle when they come to collect the others. For now, we can leave them with those young ladies”, Dumbledore replied, biting his apple as he gazed at the horizon. Severus noticed how he shot him a sideways glance and braced himself for the worst. “By the way, Severus, I think you... caught the eye of one of them. The redhead, Lauren. Maybe you should go talk to her”.

Severus grimaced, trying to ignore the howl whistles the other teachers were making, as well as Minerva's elbow, which had dug into hir ribs as the woman taunted him.

He already had enough with being one person's crush.

"I think it’d be a better idea if you paid me the galleons you owe me", he replied, sitting upright. The other adults exchanged glances before making heated comments.

"And why would we give you something?".

"I wasn't serious about the bet...".

"You weren't even participating!".

"The way I see it", Severus said, raising his voice above the others, sure that he looked much more serious than the rest as he was the only one with enough dignity to still wear wizard clothes and not Muggle rags, "Dumbledore said whoever had the most apples in the basket was the winner, and the only basket I see is mine”.

"That's because you refused to participate!" Minerva growled, arms folded. Her eyes sparkled.

"I refused to cheat. I had fewer apples than you, but since they have to be in the basket and not in the memory… For instance, victory is mine”.

"That doesn't make any sense, Severus!", Pomona cried. The man waved his hand in a dismissive manner.

“If all players on a Quidditch team break their brooms over petty arguments during a match, would the opposing team be denied victory when only they are left in the air?”, he argued.

There was a heavy silence whilst the others, again, exchanged glances. And then, between reluctance and curses, his four companions searched their pockets and gave him the agreed galleons. Even Dumbledore looked dumbfounded. Severus didn't comment on it, but everyone noticed that his expression was much more smug than before when he reached out to finally eat an apple.

Minerva wasn’t about to be left with such a bitter loss.

"I bet Lauren would like to see that face on you”.

“Oh bloody hell Minerva, do shut up”.

[genshin-djinn]

Genshin Impact Chapter 1 Act 3: A Reaction.

Chapter 1 Act 3 is what took my experience with this game from “good game” to “masterpiece”.

THIS POST CONTAINS MANY, MANY SPOILERS FOR GENSHIN IMPACT CHAPTER 1: ACT 3

Genshin Impact has some problems— actually, it has a shit ton of problems. But during the fight against hordes of Fatui, with the Adepti channeling their abilities through my gang, flying through them as Oz, decimating them with Diluc— I just thought, this is the best time I’ve had in a mobile game in my life.

This game might not be perfect now— it’s only a quarter of the way done if we’re counting Karenri’ah. But it will be a fucking masterpiece once it’s all out. If this is the level of quality we’re getting for our archon quests, this game is going to be an amazing time on story alone.

KEQING

I love Keqing with all my heart. If she were alive today she would be a socialist here to topple the ruling 1%. When ningguang asked Aether who they trusted more, her or Keqing, I hit the Keqing button as fast as possible.

I think one of my favorite things about Keqing is that she’s so completely honest, which is unusual for a Liyue politician. If she doesn’t like something, she’ll speak out against it. If she thinks something else should be happening, she’ll make it happen. She can probably be deceitful at times, but in general she’s straightforwards in that she wants a government for the people and by the people.

I can’t wait for her story quest!

NINGGUANG

pretty.... voice pretty....

Ningguang is cool. Her JP voice is very pretty, like she could do ASMR videos online or smth. One thing I decidedly did not like about Ningguang is how her personality just ???? flips? In the middle of the quest, for no reason other than “because plot”.

It’s established that Ningguang cares about two things more than anything— the Jade palace and Mora. Why, then, would she destroy the Jade palace for the sake of Liyue? I get that she’s a good person at heart at all, but I want to see more of her indecision, her brain saying “mora” and her heart saying “Liyue”. The way she just flips on a dime isn’t really strange but it does contradict with her preexisting characterization.

Childe’s Boss Fight!

The section of this quest from Childe’s fight to the Adepti + Qixing battle is just nonstop adrenaline.

Childe is IMO a lot more fun than Dvalin (sorry Dvalin). I’m at WL5 and have a tendency to play fast and loose with important mechanics like.... dodging, for example.... and Childe’s Mask Electro form ended up destroying my team. I killed him with Guoba because everyone else besides Xiangling was dead. I

Another thing I really enjoy about Childe’s boss fight is that in the irrationalities of Childe as a character, it actually makes sense. Genshin is decent at making weekly bosses logical excursions— Andrius wants you to get stronger, Dvalin’s weekly fight is ~~all a dream~~; but tbh sometimes the weekly bosses don’t make sense. Andrius wants to train us, not murder us! How does dvalin, a dream slash memory that doesn’t exist, manage to knock someone out?

Childe as a weekly boss actually makes perfect sense. He’s an adrenaline junkie addicted to the thrill of fighting people— to put this in modern AU terms, he’s the guy who’s first in line to ride the rollercoaster that failed all of its health and safety checks. Childe wants to befriend the Traveler entirely because they’re stronger than him, so that he can fight them over and over again until he’s the strongest. Of course, this will never happen, because the Traveler is the MC and therefore is stronger than all others. However, in this way Childe being a repeatable boss makes 100% perfect sense— he actually wants to fight the Traveler again and again and again.

The one question I have about Childe is how in the living feck are the Fatui letting him join the Traveler and fight for them *against the Fatui*??? I think this might be touched on in Childe’s Story quest, which I’ll do in a bit, but like????? They let him keep his delusion and just walk over to Aether like “aight fam I’m on your team now”? How?

Jade Chamber/ Guizhong Ballista vs Sea Monster Fight!!

Basically, all my charged adrenaline from nearly dying to Childe just came to a head in this one huge fantastic fight.

And Xiao :)

I absolutely loved seeing the Adepti and the Qixing work together. This fight was probably my favorite fight in the whole game— the music was amazing (soundtrack where), the graphics were so nice, the adepti were so feckin cool, using everyone’s abilities was n I ce. My adrenaline was reaching its highest point at this fight and it was just perfect. It was just so fecking fun after days of WL5 pain, having to pop like five ultimates to kill one hillichurl, to be able to just demolish swathes of enemies with Fischl and Diluc, run around like a madman thanks to Xiao, have infinite health idr who did that for me but bless them, just absolutely destroy.

Ever since I hit WL5 I haven’t been able to really just go insane during a fight and stop caring about HP/ when to use skills/ dodging and this have me that opportunity.

Zhongli’s Deal

*punches Zhongli across the room with the power of being the player character* I love this man so much.

Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli. I AM VERY ANGRY AT HOW THE PLOT RESOLVED HIS STORYLINE. But it also makes a lot of sense. And I think, for once, Zhongli should be allowed to be selfish.

Because choosing to leave Liyue was a bit selfish. He’s leaving the country that adores him, loves him, gives him shit for free; to its own devices and then to a completely unknown fate once the new Geo Archon becomes god and takes over. But he made a frankly fantastic plan and can now leave the country, for now, in peace.

I was absolutely delighted to see Zhongli in Morax form. Making deals with La Signora, being a complete and utter puppet master who set this entire situation up and played Childe like a kazoo; but just like his dear friend Venti, I think Zhongli is happier when he’s just Zhongli, the eccentric mortal. He seems so much happier and so much more relaxed when he’s forgetting about mora and eating dinner with Aether and Paimon. Rex Lapis might have just put Liyue through the wringer, but he can now put down his 3000- year long reign and just be the happy, eccentric Zhongli.

Zhongli’s little bit of insecurity over being a “bourgeois parasite” makes perfect sense now— he doesn’t want to be seen as Morax, a superfluous god who’s using his name to get whatever he wants from the humans he watches over.

But also the part of my brain that feeds off lore nEEDS to KNOW what Zhongli got from Tsaritsa. What could be worth a gnosis? His own happiness isn’t enough— Tsaritsa is likely going to use his gnosis to try and destroy Liyue. What could be worth that?

My main thought would be either “someone’s protection” or “another gnosis”, but I don’t think the latter is possible. The former could be possible but doesn’t really make sense either— a) whose protection is worth putting an entire country, much less the world, in danger and b) the Fatui are out to kill everyone who isn’t Fatui, so they won’t agree to spare a major player in the war to come like that. Brain go brrr.

I’m very hyped for Zhongli’s story quest, which I think is coming with his banner on Dec 1, when Childe’s banner ends. I really hope that Zhongli visits Mondstadt and chills with Venti for a while, but anything with this guy would be fine lol.

LORE

We got a lot of lore this update and I am delighted by it.

Firstly, we get a tiny hint of how Visions are bestowed— “if a person shows true strength of will at a desperate and fateful moment in their life, the gods will look upon them with favor.” Vague but more than we had before.

Next we got some neat lore about Inazuma— firstly, that it’s led by a god named Baal and secondly that it steals everyone’s visions. I’m very hyped to visit because guess what fam aether doesn’t have a vision.

Final Thoughts

In case you can’t tell from my insane ramblings, I loved Chapter 1 Act 3 and I absolutely cannot wait to play through Childe’s story quest and Chapter 2 and beyond.

The Prologue in Mondstadt set the stage for Genshin. We started out in a fantasy environment with a fantasy tale of an immortal bard and a dragon. Mondstadt was an excellent introduction to the world of Genshin.

And now? We’re starting to build on that. Chapter 1 brings us another story of another god and their relationship with the country they watch over. Liyue is much less of a traditional fantasy setting and takes the darkness we saw in Mondstadt— a friendship ruined by manipulation and suffering— and build on it. Now we don’t just see the Fatui more often but we also see more of the Treasure Hoarders and the way both groups kidnap and experiment on humans.

Mond started to introduce us to the Fatui, but Liyue is where they really start bringing continuous plot relevance. Inversely, we saw much more of the Abyss Order in Mondstadt than we did in Liyue. I’m extremely disappointed we didn’t see any more of the Princess this chapter, but it makes sense given that Chapter 1 was really more about the Fatui than the Abyss Order.

All I’m trying to say is the Liyue arc was an excellent continuation to the stage Mondstadt’s arc set. Now, we’re on to the world of the Eternal Shogun, Baal! I’m really excited to meet new characters and experience new stories of Inazuma, but I hope we’ll continue to see Mondstadt and Liyue in the future. Mondstadt is likely going to be the most “boring” of the countries we experience, cuz it’s just so classically fantasy- themed, but it will always be the first country we explored in this world.

After Inazuma (if I had to take a shot in the dark, inazuma’s arc will take from December 23 to maybe March or April) we’ll go to Sumeru, which I am really extremely hyped for because it sounds extremely different from Mond and Liyue and we’ll meet Cyno and possibly even Collei! (just me extrapolating lol). I can’t wait to see where Genshin Impact goes story- wise, because its first major update has brought so much to the table.

.

[grayintogreen]

It’s technically WIP Wednesday (even though it’s 1 AM...) and I don’t have Inventory today BECAUSE IT WAS CANCELLED AGAIN THE DAY BEFORE. SO WHO WANTS TO SEE SOME OF THAT CLIFFHANGER RESOLUTION FROM SHATTERED STAGE???

Lucien is on the world’s worst field trip with like 10 HP left and no weapons, everybody. It’s not going great.

“If the whole world is destroyed, what makes you think you won’t be destroyed along with it? The Chained Oblivion doesn’t seem the sort to negotiate even for his most loyal.”

She chuckled, drily. “You assume that I don’t want to be destroyed.” She spun on her heels again so fast that he almost bumped into her. “Your beloved pattern was endless creation, limitless and undying, but it is the most unfathomable, horrific idea of existence. A prison of flesh and thought united under one common mind that can never die and never truly live. You want to know my dream, oh Nonagon of the Eyes of Nine, the martyred dreamer who came back to his precious Somnovem a tyrant? My dream is the end of existence. I want to see this world salted and burned.”

Lucien stared at her. “Why?”

She canted her head. “Oh no.. You think there’s an excuse. My father didn’t buy me a pony. My mother ignored me. I was picked on in school for being unique and setting fire to small animals. I had an uncle who touched my hair a little too much. Is that what you’re imagining?” Every word dripped with condescension. 

She leaned closer and spoke slowly, making sure he understood every word in her lilting accent clearly. “Everything I have ever done and will ever do- womb to tomb- has been in pursuit of this singular goal. For four generations, we have been his loyal priestesses waiting for the time when one of us would be called to break the chains and release Oblivion. My mother thought it would be her, but I got her first, and I’m sure she was very proud of me. So no, Lucien, there is no excuse. There is no tragic narrative. I do this because I am fucking crazy, just like my mother and her mother before her and so on, and I like it.”

And with that, she took a step back, smiling sweetly. “Not all of us have an excuse, because when it comes down to it, what excuse is really good enough to justify the systematic murder of millions of people?” She pivoted and continued her walk. “Now come along. Don’t make me put you on an actual leash.”

“It’s going to be glorious when I get my hands around that lily-white neck of yours,” he snapped, falling into step behind her- not necessarily because she ordered it, but because he felt his options were limited.

“Promises, promises. One more hit from me and you’re dead, which would be inconvenient, but fixable. You have no weapons; most of your tricks aren’t that useful on me, and all that power in your blood doesn’t matter a bit if you have nothing to bleed on. Also I’m sure you have the upper body strength of a fucking child.” She glanced over her shoulder, tilting her head eerily. “You’re a bit fucked.”

She wasn’t wrong, but hearing it laid out like that didn’t make him any less livid. He stalked behind her, trying to calculate a means of attack- she had magic, yes; she had additional, dangerous abilities, yes; he was fucked, yes.

He swore under his breath. “Where the fuck are we going?”

“Back to where it all began,” She glanced over at him again. “Do you remember how to get to the Aether Crux?”

“It’s been ten years,” Lucien snapped. “Why would I remember that?”

“That was a rhetorical question. We both know you do. You’d know it blind.”

Why the fuck did this woman have to be right about everything? She tortured him, trapped him in the monument to his sins for the sake of probably torturing him more, and then she had the gall to think she was smarter than him, like she had firsthand knowledge of precisely which buttons to push to make him crazy.

Well. Two people could be fucking insufferable. “You seem to know everything. Why don’t you know where it is?”

“Because I’m asking you to take me and I think I’m being quite polite about it. I could do to you what I did to your wizard friends at any point, but it’s not enjoyable taking people’s free will when they’ll hang themselves with enough rope without it. 

“So this is really just a game to you?” Gods, and people called him crazy. At least he’d had a plan, an excuse, a fucking sense of reason. Jayne had none of those things- well, clearly a plan of some kind, but it seemed to be entirely based on releasing Tharizdun and profiting from the impending destruction using himself, Kingsley, and Molly. “Tryin’ to wear me down so I’ll bend to your will.”

Once more, Jayne spun in place and then backtracked to get right back into his face. “Now you’re getting it.” 

She reached up and squeezed his jaw again and this time his hands were free. He could grab her by her wrist and squeeze it until it snapped. She had delicate, bony little caster wrists. His so-called upper body strength of a toddler was more than a match for those twigs. He wrenched her wrist backwards, trying to break it, but she pivoted along with it and swiped his legs out from underneath him, dropping him back onto the ground. She followed it up by slamming her equally bony little knees right into his stomach and grinding down. He felt his vision go gray for a moment before he forced himself to remain conscious. Gods, he was fucked up. By all rights, he shouldn’t be able to even walk. Most of his wounds were internal where Jayne’s touch had tried to eat his vital bits from the inside out, and it was only sheer stubbornness that kept him motivated to keep moving. 

Jayne lifted her hand and he recognized the sickly green glow around her hand as she danged it precariously close to his face. He’d seen plenty of blight spells between Fastidan and Caduceus, and he didn’t particularly enjoy the idea of having one this close to his face.

“You know for someone who values politeness, you’re shamefully rude. Is it something I said?”

He didn’t dignify that saccharine sarcasm with a response. If he did anything to her, she was going to melt his flesh from his skull and then who even knew what would happen. Would she bring him back? Could she just take the lock around his neck and throw it into the Abyss and be done with it? He couldn’t possibly guess. All he knew was he didn’t want to die in Cognouza again.

So he went, seething and bitter, docile once more, and Jayne dismissed her spell and stood up, brushing her dress off as she did so. “I’m glad we’ve reached an understanding,” she murmured. “Now would you kindly show me to the Aether Crux?”

[ryttu3k]

Finishing up SoNY, ‘bad’ end and final thoughts!

But first, the early game over.

Wow, she just gets shot. Not even slurped? That’s rude as hell XD;;

And on to the ‘bad’ end!

Beginning is much the same, ofc.

“You’re too in love with weaving a good story and establishing a seductive narrative to let facts get in the way.” Foreshadowing for the ‘good’ end, maybe?

God that Embrace scene gives me literal goosebumps.

Alright! Last time I did Danse Macabre and Retributive Justice, let’s try The Risks of Swiping Right!

lmao god I’d eat this guy too. Back to the ghost club! That legitimately is a really neat scene. ...Ooh yes so that’s where the girl was from.

Panhard just lowkey dying at the mental image of Katherine Weise in a fast food restaurant is so good.

The sweet scene between Julia and Dakota hits a bit different after the ‘good’ end XD;;

Went to the park, reminisced, and helped out the guy. That was sweet ;_; High-humanity Julia, this time!

‘Fairy God Mother?’ is great but ‘Vin Diesel?’ is objectively the funnier response.

“Shining even more brightly than usual, Aisling.” Samira got a cru-ush~

Poor Julie. It’s probably been tough without Sophie around :(

Huh. Interestingly, refusing to lie to Mia results in Julia actually feeling genuine loyalty to the Cammies (for now, at least).

Believing Agathon is still alive = more optimistic = different dialogue! See, this is how you make choices have consequences, game!

Oooh boy time to meet Adelaide XD;;

“She uncrosses her legs in a strangely seductive motion. In her mind’s eye, it probably looked like Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, but in reality, it had all the grace of a tracksuit Slav squatting.” *snickering*

Fight me, Adelaide >:(

‘sup Nastya. Went with the slightly less disruptive routine here XD Huh, she’s an aspiring DJ! Julia is deeply confused as to how being a DJ and being head of security works together.

lmao Julia referring to Hope as a girlboss. That phrase has lost all meaning to me...

The conversation between Julia and Father Leonard is still really interesting. Man, you know who I want Julia to talk to? Anatole. Interesting insights into balancing being queer Catholic vampires there for sure.

lmao oh my god I want to fight this street reporter.

‘I can almost feel my brain losing its wrinkles.’ *snort*

Yeaghhhh the Abyss bit is still so creepy...

Oops. Being honest regarding Tamika and Torque’s relationships gets a fail :(

Oh, or not XD That works! Also, uh, apparently the giant albino ghoul alligator is real, according to New York by Night. He’s Calebros’ pet.

“Because I think I have a pretty good nose for people’s auras. And when I take a good look at you... ...somehow, I have a feeling you’re a surprisingly decent person. Whatever way of unlife you choose, I hope you don’t change it. And that you remember my advice.” :)

“I know.” Oof.

“Hi.” “WAAAH!” lmao sorry Princess XD;; Just trying to imagine Qadir’s face as he tells Julia to find a 1990 glass statue of Scrooge McDuck... dying...

Oh she’s so a Toreador XD Low art options are a fantasy book, an anime DVD, or a video game... those can all be arty, though! And went with the anime DVD called ‘Ririsu no Daibouken’... that translates to ‘Adventures of Lilith’. How on the nose XD “The cover says ‘Lilith’s Carnal Carnival’.” Oh. Yeah, that’d do it XD

“This 90s original video anime presents us with a tale of five big-bosomed samurai warriors travelling through America in search of General Hastavista, The Incubus King. Don’t let all the titillation misguide you: the main draws here are peerless direction, a nearly avant-garde editing rhythm and dialogue that coyly comments on traditional gender roles in anime. Once you see the animation in the final battle, you’ll understand why it never fails to set a sakuga fan’s heart ablaze!”

She’s my new favourite.

“So can I know your name now?”

“Hmmm... Let me think...

No. <3″

I need to stress that the heart appears in the dialogue box. Like. The actual less-than-three heart.

Didn’t investigate the rat this time, so Qadir did and I die. “Glad you’re alright, little guy.” Qadir...

Still not over the drunk blood doll rats.

Kaiser’s still a goddamn creep and this time Julia is not going too far. She still has her humanity, dammit. Final set of traits:

Loyal to the end

Glass half-full

Not into a bad cop schtick

Honesty is the best policy

No more human, still humane

Onwards to the ‘bad’ end! Oops, and Dakota still did the Single White Female thing XD;;

Man I’m still really curious who the ‘good friend’ is!!

Okay! Time for end game!!

So that’s the good friend, huh? “Let me phrase it differently, then. You’re not Ecaterina the Wise, the Agitator of Prague, a Brujah elder causing turbulences all over the world... are you?”

Mention of Christof! Mention of Christof doing shady shit :| Poor Hana.

“An immigrant from Eastern Europe comes to New York City, takes the position she always expected to find herself in, is molded into someone who is no longer herself.”

Julia and Dakota representing Carthage is kind of neat.

I want to say the mention of St Jude is a reference, but I’m not sure what to XD;; Is that from Redemption? Christof could have been the one to tell Hana that.

“Like a two-person human centipede loop or something. An Ouroburos? Or an, uhh, Mobius strip?” No, that’s the other traditionally Sabbat clan XD

That‘s. That’s a hell of a reconciliation XD “Yeah, let’s give it a try. By the way I’m on the run for my unlife, want to go to California and try to find utopia?”

Julia, wear a fucking mask XD

“Hey.”

“Yeah?“

“Do you love me?”

“... Of course I do. For now, at least.”

I still don’t know if I love her. Or even if I can love anyone, for that matter. I’m a fucking monster, after all. I don’t even know if we’ll exist next month. The prospects are not looking good. But although I can’t see myself in the rearview mirror right now...

...I will remember this image of us leaving the city, somewhat melancholic, and somewhat hopeful, forever. And maybe the meaning of this image will be clarified with time. Or maybe I will just force a more positive description on it, and that is what I’ll believe.

No matter what happens... even if oceans of blood lie before us, I will make this a cherished memory.

Whatever possible salvation still remains for me... ...it probably lies in the eyes of another.

Oh dang I have chills.

So the ‘bad’ ending is about the subverted compromise. Julia resigns herself to letting the compromise about the truth of Callihan’s death go ahead. ‘Catherine’ is a walking compromise to hide the Ecaterina’s real deeds. But while Hana is still stuck in her role for now, Julia refuses to accept the compromise she’s made, both the one relating to the investigation and the compromise she made of her own views and morals. It might blow up in her face, yeah. But damn, she’s going to try.

So, final thoughts! For the sake of completion, this is what I said about Coteries:

And of course this is the part where the game all falls apart :-\

Just… god. This is probably the biggest problem with CoNY, and the reason I didn’t bother getting it until it was like… 60% off. The bulk of the game is great - the writing is intriguing, the design is stunning. But the choices themselves are so limited it’s barely worth even getting it at 60% off!

You have three choices of characters, with their own opening chapters and own individual scenes with their touchstones. You have four choices of coterie members, and three sidequests. You can probably get in at least three full story arcs and a sidequest or two, but you’re only ever limited to two of your coterie members showing up at the not-yet-endgame.

So let’s say you decide to play all three protags, which, indeed, is encouraged (there’s an achievement for it). You are going to repeat coterie arcs and side quests, because there simply aren’t enough for three unique playthroughs.

And then you get to the end and literally everything is scripted. You get attacked by the SI. You get rescued by your two coterie members (and then never see them again, despite the game being called Coteries of New York). You meet Torque, you escape the SI, Sophie reveals her plan to Torque, you go to Ellis Island, Adelaide kills Sophie (and despite the fact that you’re given multiple options there, none of them work), Arturo does his spiel, end of game. You don’t even get to choose between ending up blood bound or going “no fuck you” and at least dying with a bit of dignity!

I just. I really want to like it, and there genuinely is a lot there to like! But uuuugh the ending. Like damn at least give the poor protag the option to choose what happens to them!

Anyway. Not sure what’s next. To get all the achievements, you have to finish with all three protags, so that’s three full runs and a lot of repetitiveness (compare to, say, Bloodlines or Night Road. I have eighty-five hours on Night Road and there’s still stuff I haven’t seen!), so I can’t even just… rush it through up to the meeting with the touchstones on the third play. Nope. Gotta finish it :-\

Final rating: 6/10

8/10 characters, 9/10 atmosphere, 8/10 story aside from ending, 3/10 story ending, 2/10 replayability. Final consensus: get it on major sale if you can, otherwise, you might as well just watch an LP. I might do that instead of doing a third run, although I at least want to do a second.

I ended up revising that 6/10 to 5.5/10 after finishing all runs and getting the achievements just out of how goddamn repetitive it was. So, how does Shadows measure up?

Absolutely continued with all the things I enjoyed about CoNY (characters, atmosphere, and writing), and of the bits I hated (cookie cutter protagonists, lack of real choice, repetitiveness, the godawful ending), every single part has been completely improved.

Instead of three fledglings so similar they even have the same internal thoughts, we have Julia, who’s got such a distinct voice that she becomes the most memorable game protag I’ve seen in years, and I’m including non-VtM games in this. This is absolutely her game, and it’s just... absolutely fascinating to read and watch.

Related - actual real choices. There are five key choices that determine the ending, and every single one has actual consequence in-game. You get different dialogue. Different introspection. Different philosophies. And this carries across - if Julia believes Agathon is alive, she’s more optimistic about her relationship with Dakota, too. And of course, both endings are completely distinct and incredibly written - the ‘good’ ending where Julia gives in to her most Lasombra instincts, plays the game, wins it, gets power and respect at the expense of her humanity and avoiding all those wraiths... or the ‘bad’ ending when she listens to her morals, reconciles with Dakota, and leaves for California, uncertain, but hopeful.

Not a lot of repetitiveness. Yes, by design, you’ll probably do two playthroughs. The main plot is much the same, but there are enough options there to get multiple dialogue options and stuff. And for the little sidequests, you can actually get all in with just the two playthroughs, only repeating like... two, I think. Still, I wasn’t feeling actively bored like I was midway through my second run of CoNY!

Loved seeing more in-depth backstory and development for the coterie members. Agathon’s section was particularly fascinating, literally getting into his head.

And just. Atmosphere and music is so, so good.

Final rating: 9/10. Thank you, Draw Distance, you hit it out of the park.

[awhilde]

down, down the rabbit hole

pairings: none, but the characters include mingyu. wonwoo, jihoon, jeonghan (from svt) and an oc

genre(s): thriller, gore (tiny bit). a made-in-abyss!au :D

warnings: because of the previously mentioned gore, readers discretion is advised. also swearing!

word count: 4.06k words

synopsis: in which mingyu and his friends allow their naivety and curiosity to drive them forward, dropping them down a 20,000 metre abyss where the abnormal becomes far too evident. stumbling through nature’s phenomenon, the group is forced to experience horrors that sombre their once exhilarating endeavours. will they be able to be decisive when their friend’s life is on the line, and who is this red-eyed creature that promises them sanctuary? 

author’s note: hey guys! unfortunately, this isn’t the genshin au i promised however i hope you enjoyed it nonetheless! i believe i published this a while ago on another account but i’m posting it again for content <3 also it was originally a y/n piece so please tell me if there’s a “you” or “your” that i’ve missed in my brief editing!  the genshin au will come out soon :)

mingyu struggled to pinpoint an exact moment in his life which he could blame for his current circumstances.

it was as easy for him to say that sneaking into his good friends wonwoo and jihoon’s room past the stroke of midnight was the cause, as it were to say growing up at his local orphanage was at fault. hell, if the reasoning travelled down this path, it could also be justified that by simply existing he’d cause himself to arrive at his current position. perhaps this was his destiny, every event of his life leading up to this climax, worthless in the grand scheme of fate for every decision he had believed to have made was manipulated for the sole purpose of mingyu in the situation he was in as of present; torn with the constant conflict of emotion he was experiencing.

this was where his life had led him, 20,000 metres deep into a swirling, unforgiving vortex where the abnormal became evident with every blink of the eye, and where it intended to end, it seemed.  

the sky overhead had vanished from sight two layers into the unnatural phenomenon, when the fog by their feet had thickened to a substance that clung moist against every vulnerable patch of skin and surface. mingyu never thought he would come to miss the cloudy skies of his mediocre hometown. where had his thirst for adrenaline gone now? but after a tormenting week treading deeper and deeper into the abyss’ claws, mingyu had yearned for familiarity.

when his stomach gave way on the third layer, mingyu missed most the plain bowl of congee the orphanage served to him every morning despite its lack of taste and colour.

when his eyes started to leak pus and blood, mingyu missed most the shimmering sun, burning on the edge of the horizon every evening despite its glare on his skin.

there was much the boy felt grateful for, oh how he only came to this realisation now, 20,000 metres far from home. his goal to reach the very depth of the abyss slipped from his hands like running water, gathered only by the company his friends provided him. mingyu never felt more grateful that he hadn’t entered alone.

if his naivety had gotten away from him yet again, mingyu shivered at the prospect of descending without the companionship of his three closest friends, wonwoo, jihoon and lyra. he never sourced his complaints outside of his head, for every disaster that he experienced, he knew his friends experienced the same suffering alongside him, comfort in the form of unspoken understanding. mingyu knew he would be able to overcome these mishaps as long as their companionship never left him.  

however, god’s sense of humour must be twisted for the first night of the fifth layer, the last layer of mingyu’s sanity thinned.

“fuck!” jihoon swore. his hand shook in the tangles of his hair, the other hovering over wonwoo’s body as if uncertain. “fuck, fuck, fuck!”

mingyu heard jihoon’s cursing as if submerged underwater for his head went static from his own worry. he tipped his backpack upside down in desperation, seeking an item his sub-conscious knew didn’t exist. hadn’t they packed an antidote for this specific reason? but it had been long gone, shattered and spilt over the edge of a crumbling cliff after a desperate struggle of power between a gnarly beast and mingyu’s life. that mistake could possibly cost his friend’s life.

lyre caressed wonwoo’s hair as his head laid like deadweight on her lap, mouth dry against the dense air, chest heaving harsh pants. his eyes, heavily diluted, seemed to stare past her head at empty space and lyre may have lost all hope had it not been for the ghost of determination underlining the furrow of his brows. “wonwoo, i swear you’ll be okay, just hold on a little longer. mingyu’s getting the antidote now, he’s just a little slow. you know how clumsy he can get, just hang on, okay?”

but wonwoo had stopped giving replies ten minutes ago.

her hands, like her voice, trembled under the weight of a moist cloth, aiming to replace the steaming one on his head but fear diverted its path with every shake. doubt threatened to choke her of her words, leaving lyre curled up by the side of the abnormal rainforest, the world never viewed the same again. but she knew, if not marginally, that panic wouldn’t do the situation any more good.

jihoon seemed to have lost all sense of this concept however, as he continued to alternate between standing and pacing the grounds. “there has to be something i’ve forgotten, something that can help. think, jihoon, think!”

wonwoo hissed in pain then, and all three of his friends turned in fright. his arm had swelled to an abnormal size, pulsing liquid under his skin and shaded a dark purple.

“jihoon.” lyre called after the boy had settled, voice wavering. “wasn’t there something we learnt at school? something about the poison of []’s?”

“i know there was something, i know! but i can’t remember it!” jihoon let his words explode from his chest yet he heeds no apology. “damn it, what was it?” his eyes found mingyu across the field, still digging through the contents of their shared bags. “for fuck’s sake, leave the fucking bags, mingyu! they’re worthless right now.”  

mingyu glanced up from his own world of regret and doubt, torment swimming in the pools of his eyes. the situation looked hopeless no matter what angle he portrayed it in. and, this had been his fault. his own carelessness, his naivety had prompted the death of his best friend. why hadn’t he listened to them all when they told him to step back from the pond? what had his mind been doing, telling him to continue his reckless behaviour just for the short lived praise he might have received? he had been pushed to the side when the lone [ ] had arrived at the scene, a creature so foreign and unknown that fear had short-circuited his actions.

he had stood frozen in the line of danger, horror encasing his body in suffocating crystals. it was wonwoo that had moved first, wonwoo who had considered all possible options which led him to sacrifice his own body for mingyu���s, wonwoo that had thrown himself at the creature, mingyu’s life and not his own being the only thing weighing on hid mind.

what had his last words been? the thought dawned on mingyu, like a nostalgic taste on the tip of his tongue. “don’t sulk, you look super dumb?” no, there was something else. something of potential importance, yet it mocked his grasp when he neared the truth. wonwoo’s whines of pain sounded as background noise at the point of his pondering, so familiar and yet gruelling at the pits of his stomach.

“something…” he mumbled, and lyre and jihoon looked up at the sound of his voice. “wonwoo said something before he couldn’t speak, what was it?”

“is this really the time?” jihoon snapped. “this isn’t the time.”

“jihoon, shut up. there was something he said before he became like this. i have a feeling he was trying to tell us how to deal with the situation.”

lyre turned her head from mingyu to the pale boy in her lap, a concentrated look evident in the crease between her eyebrows. mingyu caught the movement from the corner of his eye and clicked his finger at her. “lyre, you were the closest to him at the time. do you remember what it was?”

at the sudden spotlight, her mind blanked. there had been something previously, but the thought taunted and danced around the perimeter of her head as she tried, and failed, to chase it. “his arm, he mentioned something about his arm.” she finally blurted, his voice entering her head.

jihoon practically growled at the words. “well geez, that solves everything, doesn’t it? thanks for wasting our time, mingyu.” both mingyu and lyre took no offense to his harsh words; someone had to be the angry one in the current situation. lyre continued that train of thought, blocking out the noise of jihoon’s ranting, mingyu’s mumbling and wonwoo’s whimpers. she hoped that fate wouldn’t be so cruel as to give her this sliver of hope, thin and feeble in her hands, and that the solution to this dawning terror would be solved with the following revelation. “breaking something… he mentioned breaking something. what was it? a tree branch? true, the antidote of a beast should be found around the region so that its prey may survive from its poison. otherwise, the ecosystem would fail. but which tree? in this rainforest, what tree are we talking about. breaking apart… a bug? another small mammal? no, you wouldn’t break something with flesh, you would break something that’s hard. breaking… like snapping? breaking…”

jihoon continued to pace around you and wonwoo, head spinning in constant agony. there was fault coloured in the pale flush of his cheeks, why didn’t he know how to solve this issue? why didn’t he pull mingyu aside when the monster had first showed itself? and worse, why hadn’t he been the one to risk his life? why had he froze, selfish in the way that he valued his life over his dear friend’s, opting instead to leave someone else to do the harsh deed. why hadn’t he moved and pull wonwoo who laid by his feet out of harm’s way, instead standing still and letting the monster take a fierce chomp out of wonwoo’s arm? there was no doubt that if he had successfully performed the manoeuvre, wonwoo wouldn’t be in the position he was in now.

his feet crunched against a fallen stick as he paced and the noise triggered a thought in lyre’s head, her eyes widening in disbelief as it all clicked together.

“oh my god, his arm.” she murmured.

jihoon goes to quieten her, goes to tell her to stop obsessing over the idea of his arm when a tear slips from her eyes. the sheer terror from the thought evoked strong pulses of emotion to leak from lyre’s eyes like bleeding cyanide, but she pushed through regardless. how selfish would it be to only think of yourself whilst your friend suffered on the brink of death?

she looked jihoon in the eyes and repeated herself. “his arm. he wants us to snap his arm before the poison reaches his brain.”

lyre gave the boys no time to digest this new sliver of information, working instead to tear off a section of your shirt and wrapping it tightly where the poison had evidently stopped on his arm, black and purple, budging skin pressed against the material. in truth, lyre had no idea what she was doing, simply relying on memory and the many shows she’d watched to guide her movements as she tightened the knot.

the still silence broke when mingyu began to protest against the speculation, fearing the consequence of the action, but jihoon had moved to her side without further protest.

“guys, what are you doing? this isn’t right, we’ll just be killing him instead! guys, please stop, don’t think like that, there’ll be another way, please…” mingyu’s words failed to comprehend through his friends’ ears.

jihoon’s hands replaced lyra’s on the fabric and took over the job, eyes empty as he worked. only lyre saw the tremor in his hands as he tore more fabric and secured the separation of skin. his eyes meet the shivering girl’s over wonwoo’s body. “can you do this?”

her intake of breath is loud in the air shared between the two of you. clearly, jihoon had no idea what he was doing either, despite being the token medical friend. despite knowing that it was her idea, lyre shook her head softly.

“i’m going to use the axe that we kept to break his bones. can you help snap the rest?”

his words were gruesome, sickening to its core but wonwoo’s cries answered his question before she was able to, and she nodded seconds after. hesitance could cost wonwoo’s life.

     mingyu stood over the two of them, passing the axe to jihoon with a grimace on his face. “god this is wrong, god this is so, so wrong.” but the transition is smooth as he lets the axe fall into his friend’s hands.

jihoon acknowledged the fact with an incoherent mumble before adjusting his grip on the tool. “mingyu, get me some water. we may not have disinfectants but if we don’t wash it, bacteria will kill him instead.”

the boy’s shadow left the trio. lyra  placed a hand over wonwoo’s eyes, hoping that he wouldn’t catch a glimpse of what was to come. was he even conscious in the process? what if she had been wrong to think that his last words demanded the loss of a limb. this was by no means a perfectly successful strategy, but as it was all they had, so regardless of any .lingering whips of doubt, she held onto it like a lifeline.

“ready?” jihoon murmured.

the both of them nodded their heads slightly; there was no way they would be completely ready. but lyra’s hands found wonwoo’s biceps and they stayed there, stayed there until the axe swung up into the air, metal glinting in the reflection of the sun before falling from the force of gravity and the aid of jihoon’s strength. stayed there until the axe fell and met his flesh with a sickening thud.

a thud.

a blunt thud.

wonwoo’s shrill screams pierced through the previously tranquil atmosphere of the rainforest. his back lurched forward but mingyu had some sense to hold down his body before the axe had fallen. though mingyu had held down his body, wonwoo didn’t halt thrashing around. his arms pulsed under lyra’s hands and his legs kicked out for an escape.

“oh god.” jihoon exclaimed in horror, white sheet evident against his face. his hands shook and the axe fell to the floor.

underneath where the blade of the axe had fallen, crimson paint blossomed leaving a trail of broken skin and something else twisted. his flesh peaked from under the flabs of his skin, untainted until it was, blood and pus swimming from his arm.

wonwoo couldn’t stop screaming.

it was clear that jihoon had failed to touch the bone.

wonwoo’s eyes felt wet under lyra’s hands and she let out a weak sob.

jihoon froze.

mingyu struggled under wonwoo’s flailing figure.

“give it here!” mingyu was quick to shout, snatching the axe from the ground without a response, forcing jihoon to quickly melt his terror from his skin and throw himself onto wonwoo’s body.  

wonwoo cries were deafening, coarse now from use and the strength in his limbs had weakened, allowing jihoon to hold down his body with more ease despite the weight difference.

mingyu swung without any indication of doing so, hard and fast against the same spot jihoon had attacked. this time, he pulled away with a weak crack. he whimpered at the noise but raised it again.

“oh my god.” lyra whimpered. “oh my god, why did we use a blunt axe?”

but mingyu doesn’t stop. he continued to swing the axe, up and down, letting the momentum aid his strength, letting wonwoo’s protests to stop fuel his stamina. there is a squelch among the splinters, a cry amongst the shouts but mingyu never falters. he doesn’t falter when lyra moved her own hands to help settle the body, avid to stop his movements. he doesn’t stop when wonwoo’s voice crack, soundless screams like the cries of tormenting ghosts whispering regret and fault into his ears. he doesn’t stop when the boy’s eyes roll back into his head, revealing murky white. and he doesn’t stop when wonwoo’s body finally falls slack on the floor, limp and drained of all energy from the continued torture he had undergone.

he only stopped when the arm separates completely from the body, a tattered arm lying lifelessly away from its previously conjoined biceps, adorned with the colour of fresh blood and oozing pus. the wound pulsated with flowing blood.

“water!” mingyu cried. he turned to a shell-shocked jihoon whose eyes had watched without blinking. “get the water, goddamnit!”

perhaps it was his tear-stricken face, or his eyes that reflected a haunted expression due to the fact he axed away at his friend, but jihoon finally moved. he’d leapt to grab their source of water and begun to pour it without thought at the injury.

lyra gasped, taking in the oxygen that your body severely lacked. “stop, you’re wasting it! put the bottle closer!”

truthfully, half of the spent water and rushed and spilt onto the jungle floor, worthless to their current situation. the boy instantly followed after your words, edging nearer to the smell of rotting flesh and decay. the boy felt faint at the scent, more so at the sight. god, there was so much blood.

mingyu rebooted and finally began to move again. “tear off your shirt.”

the girl hesitated at his words.

“tear off your shirt!” he repeated with more intended force.

she was quick to break out of her trance and began to tear long stripes of cotton from her attire, mingyu doing the same. in a clumsy, almost child-like way, the three of you attempt to bandage the leaking wound as best as you can, but the white cloth turns scarlet red as soon as its placed. a hopeless sob escaped your throat. had you just murdered your friend?

the almost lifeless body laid like a corpse on the ground, pale in his complexion and unconscious. he would have been mistaken for dead had it not been for the shallow breaths the three of them heard occasionally. when the sun had fallen, the bleeding had eased. simply for a lack of supple, lyra wondered in half-hearted ponder. she felt lightheaded in the sense that thought ran away from her. she wished for water, but they had used the majority in hopes of washing wonwoo’s wound.

it seemed hopeless all over again.

“oh my. perhaps it’s finally my time to step in.”

lost in her own world of panic, lyra missed the words of a newcomer though it appeared jihoon hadn’t.

“who are you?” jihoon asked, successfully gaining lyra’s and mingyu’s attention away from the body though it lingers on their minds. hostility crept into the boy’s voice as he continued. “what do you want?”

the source of the unfamiliar voice stemmed from a figure hidden within the shadows of the towering trees. none of the three could determine the identity of the creature causing suspicion to raise.

the creature walked from beneath the tree’s shade, a smug-like expression adorning their face. they appeared human-like, sharing similar features with the humans lyra was familiar with. they had normal curly, black hair that tickled the tips of his ears, eyes that curved like crescents and a mouth in which appeared to be in a constant mocking state. they would have come off as human save for the sharp teeth that glimmered in his grin and the red, hungry look in his eyes. “my name is jeonghan.” he explained.

“are you… human?” mingyu wondered.

the thing chuckled as if he found something the boy said humorous. “that’s funny, as if i could possibly downgrade.”

jihoon positioned his boy to protectively angle his body against the strange creature. “what do you want from us?”

jeonghan tilted his head. “why, what does it look like i’m doing?”

“it looks like you’re being a nuisance.” he answered. grabbing at the axe, he placed it between the four of you and the red eyed beast. wonwoo’s blood dripped from the edge of the blade to which jeonghan raised his eyebrows at. “stay back.” but jihoon’s voice betrayed his attitude and cracked under the pressure.

“put the axe down, jihoon.” jeonghan warned, taking a step forward. despite his firm voice, his lips wavered as if to conceal a smile.

“how do you know my name?” the boy replied instead of complying. despite jeonghan stepping closer, jihoon’s threats made no appearance. he had entered the abyss in hopes to solve the lifelong mystery of where it came from, not to fight a mystical creature. nothing in his life had trained him for this

“you two were screaming it so much it was hard to miss. it would be, rather, more shocking if i hadn’t heard it.” jeonghan said, gesturing to lyra and mingyu. “you two should really keep it down, by the way, or you’ll wake stronger beasts than the one you encountered before, you know, the one that bit your friend? and then even i wouldn’t be able to save you from them.” he hesitated and you flinched from his words. “well, maybe i could.”

mingyu took the silence that followed after as an opportunity to speak. “this sounds like you’re here to help us?”

jeonghan shrugged and mingyu noticed that he had been steadily closing the gap between him and the group but he let the thought slide. he were tired, oh so tired from the fear of losing his friend, the adrenaline from contributing to said friend’s loss of a limb and now this, a potential threat. perhaps death called, though it couldn’t be so bad if it promised a peaceful rest.

           “i would simply be delighted to aid you in your…” he glanced around jihoon’s guarding figure to wonwoo’s body. “successful attempt to save your friend.” he finally spoke, words coming out rather slowly. “however, my buddy jihoon here, seems to be opposed against my gracious decision. perhaps you want wonwoo to die, jihoon buddy ol’ pal?”

jihoon looked to be physically in pain, teeth grinding upon each other. his mouth opened to say more but mingyu placed a firm hand on his arm. “we’ll accept.” mingyu said. “please save our friend.” the boy glanced at jihoon and shook his head desperately. “wonwoo doesn’t have time for us to argue.” he offered as explanation and when jihoon sighted wonwoo, he found himself agreeing.

“fine. please help us, jeonghan.” he muttered, hands still tightening on the handle of the axe though he lets his arm drop.

the creature clapped his hands in excitement. “excellent! i knew you would come around, jihoon.”

lyra cut into the conversation before jihoon could take the bait and bite back. “how are you going to save him? what are you going to do?”

the desperateness must have coloured her tone for jeonghan turned to face her. his eyes were haunting when they settled on hers for the first time, seemingly delving deep into her soul and prying deep into her memories. they left no surface unturned, a hurricane in his wake, the smile engraved into the crevices of her mind as he spoke once more. “come back with me and i’ll show you.”

lyra watched as jeonghan turned from her, colour returning into her sight as his figure began to disappear against the backdrop of the rainforest. she heard only her faint breaths and the whistle of perching birds, heads tilted in curiosity as they watched the event that occurred in the world beneath them. her eyes find mingyu’s which have been hardened beyond recognition and the two of you knew that the moment would forever be etched into the wrinkles of their brains. if they were to ever survive this, it would only mean elongated suffering.

there were tears in lyra’s eyes at the prospect of failing their initial endeveurs to explore the hidden depths of the unknown phenomenon. hadn’t they only wanted to explore what the abyss had offer? hadn’t they simply wanted the thrill of adventuring with your childhood friends, seeking out a journey that would be inked in history? and now the reality of the world had sunken into their bones like cement.

the four of them had barely descended past the fifth layer, edging on the boundaries and the concept of returning knocked on your mind like an unwanted friend.

jihoon stood, rustling the wind at the sudden disturbance. he swung wonwoo’s only arm over his shoulder and wordlessly trekked after jeonghan whose back was almost consumed by the forest’s shadows. there was only one option and jihoon knew this, knew this before the rest of his friends did.

mingyu followed after jihoon, zipping up his backpack and tossing it over his shoulder. he offered lyra a hand as he passed her on the floor, which she accepted. an unspoken nod is bounced back between the two, something like determination and acceptance in the gesture.

whatever was in their path of destiny had to be overcome no matter its challenge, for the four of them had descended so far to die only at its fifth layer.

[monikafilefan]

Friendship and Reflection

A prompt from @fxckmescully for drunk Scully talking about how hot her Mulder is to her friend Ellen. This is a part of my Ellen POV collection on ao3 that can be found HERE

Tagging @today-in-fic @slippinmickeys for the 3rd person POV challenge

——

Winter, 1997

It’s been several months since you’ve last spoken. Almost a year since your last face-to-face chat at the coffee house when she announced her remission from a disease you had no idea plagued her. Her reluctance in sharing her illness with you had quickly turned the taste of your sugary latte into an acrid bitterness. At the time, you were heartbroken and hurt your best friend had suffered that without you. But now, in hindsight, it strikes you as such a Dana thing to do—protect those she loves by tucking away her plight deep beneath the surface where only she can reach it.

Only she and one other, it seems. And tonight, as you pop the first cork of many on an aging bottle of Merlot, you’re determined to find out exactly why this lone man holds access to the depths of her abyss.

The grandfather clock strikes eight just as a soft knock raps at your door. Dana, as punctual as ever, smiles widely under the moonlight and your heart swells at the healthy glow of her skin. You’ve missed her.

“Dana!” You smile back and wrap your arms around her tiny frame before she can reply. “I’m so glad you agreed to a girls night in.”

“Ellen!” She nods at the brimming glass of wine in your hand as you wave her into the living room. “Coffee just didn’t seem appropriate after I heard the news.”

You cannot agree more and take a long, satisfying drink. “No, filing for divorce after your husband leaves you is certainly not coffee-worthy convo now is it?”

“I suppose not.”

You stare off into the distance at the family portrait on the wall. Three happy faces look back. The next one will consist of only you and your son, who is currently sleeping soundly in his father’s new one bedroom apartment.

A gentle squeeze of your hand brings you back to your friend. Her kind blue eyes cut through the fog. “I’m sorry, El.”

You squeeze back. “I’m not.”

*

Three hours, three shots, (two for you and one for her) and three bottles of wine later, Dana giggles on the couch at your side, an empty glass slung loosely between her fingers as she continues spinning her tale of “cute” Fox Mulder and the memorable trip to the forest.

“...but in the end, Mulder was right again, dammit,” Dana groans. Even through the alcoholic haze, you see the rapid pounding of her heart racing through her shirt. Her cheeks are flushed from more than the alcohol and a hint of a smile tugs at her red-stained mouth.

She is beguiled.

You sense she’s much less practiced at the art of holding her liquor these days than you are, all things considered. Heedless of future guilt at dipping your toes into her still, protective waters while she’s clearly drunk, you bravely dive right in to see how long she lets you swim through her secrets.

“Dana, honey, tell me more about this cute partner of yours.”

She groans again, rolling her eyes. “El, I could talk for days about that man. Sometimes I’d rather do much more than talking… and he’s more than ‘cute,’ damn him.”

You choke on a swig of fruity Merlot and grin. “Oh?”

“Yeah,” she chuffs into her hollow glass, as if that thought was somehow worse than being hunted by invisible Mothmen. “The way he walks, his kind eyes, the feel of his hands brushing along my back, that fat bottom lip… He’s hot, El. Sooo very, very hot.”

“Of course he is.” You laugh, having already suspected this the first time she’d mentioned the man years ago as she sat across the table from you, blushing ear to ear. “And what is it you’d rather be doing to him than talking, Miss ‘It’s not like that’ Scully?”

Her eyes flutter languidly as she rolls her head along the back of the couch to meet your stare. “What do you think I want, El?”

“Well, probably what most women would want to do to a man like that if they had the chance.” You swallow the last of your wine and set the glass down on the table at your feet with a clink. “Fuck him.”

You hear her gasp but there is no more giggling. Only silence reigns.

Moments tick by as her lazy gaze sobers into narrowed concentration. “No, Ellen, I don’t.”

Confused, and frankly a little disappointed, you shake your head at her. “You don’t?”

“No.” She tears her eyes away and abruptly snags the fourth bottle of wine, pouring herself another glass. Just before she brings the liquid courage to her lips, she sighs, slurring, “I think I want to make love to him.”

“Oh…” You place a hand to her coiled back, understanding the real problem now; yet realizing as she drains her glass dry, she isn’t ready for you to speak it aloud. “You think?”

She survived cancer, for God’s sake; she deserves to be happy. You want that for her. Just because your love life has turned to shit, that doesn’t mean your best friend can’t enjoy one of her own.

“No.” Her heavy eyes lock onto yours again. They’re suspiciously wet and you can tell she’s frustrated with herself. “I know I do,” she whispers. “And that’s the worst part...”

“What is, Dana?”

You watch her swallow several times as her eyes flick to the portrait of you cradling a newborn Trent in your lap with his father beaming down proudly at the family he’s made. The clock ticks loudly over and over again before her warm hand clutches yours.

“The worst part,” she starts, her voice soft and strained, “is wanting something so badly... but knowing it’s just too much to hope for.”

Yes, you confirm as your eyes fall shut, certainly not coffee-worthy convo indeed.

——

[delicioussshame]

Here is the Luo Binghe route for the prostitution AU.

I don’t know how obvious that was, but Shen Jiu stumbling on Yue Qingyuan and Shen Yuan was an accident. Let’s say he was visiting his own favourite brothel. The thing is, that’s not what he told his disciples, and Luo Binghe and a few others came to the city with him. Luo Binghe might have been curious about his Shizun’s whereabouts, so he was following him from afar, and while he didn’t get the details, he got enough to guess that the man both Shizun and Yue Qingyuan followed into that brothel had to be a prostitute.

For everyone’s peace of mind, let’s agree Binghe is at least in his late teens. Also for the sake of my peace of mind, Shen Jiu is a bit nicer in this, because I’m not getting him killed after I got him laid. So Luo Binghe is supposed to be a stallion protagonist, so hormones are raging, and even if Shen Jiu isn’t Shen Yuan I guess Luo Binghe would still think he’s Fine. So when he sees a Shizun lookalike good enough for Yue Qingyuan, one that he could just… pay and get over with his attraction to Shizun, he’s very, very tempted. So he puts some money aside, gathers his courage and visits Shen Yuan’s brothel.

The moment he sets foot in the place everything that can fuck is after him, because hello, Luo Binghe here. But Binghe knows what he wants and asks for Shen Yuan.

Shen Yuan doesn’t get why a man as overwhelmingly attractive as Luo Binghe has to pay a prostitute to have sex when he could ask out any married woman and no one would blame them for cheating, but Luo Binghe knows what he wants, and any attempt at sending him off toward someone more age-appropriate, because Shen Yuan feels like a cradle robber (despite not being that old) are firmly rejected, so he figures he might as well enjoy it. Cue giving Luo Binghe the time of his life. That doesn’t stop him from being Shen Yuan, so weak to Binghe and giving him advice and worrying about everything being fine. Luo Binghe is kind of charmed and has had a very good night, and figures he’ll come again when he can. Which he does. Often.

Shen Yuan gets a bit worried that Luo Binghe is wasting his money and not eating right and not serious enough about his cultivation since he’s so young and pure. Anyone could take advantage of him! He sees Binghe as his cute horny puppy.

Obviously Luo Binghe falls for Shen Yuan, because duh, he’s Luo Binghe.

And that continues until Luo Binghe falls into the Abyss.

Shen Yuan gets worried enough after not having seen Binghe around that he gets around to writing a Very Formal Letter to Yue Qingyuan, whom he hasn’t seen since the man had very gently let him known he wouldn’t return to his brothel because Xiao Jiu disapproved (while looking overjoyed), asking about the wellbeing of one of his disciples. He gets a Very Formal Letter back telling him that Binghe died.

Shen Yuan mourns for real. He also gets very, very sick of being a prostitute, but hey, he has a contract so he’s stuck there.

The first thing Binghe does when he returns to the human realm is show up at the brothel with an obscene amount of gold, looking to buy off Shen Yuan’s contract. The Madam tries to argue. Luo Binghe puts even more gold on the front desk and tells him he’ll pay as much as necessary, but he’s not leaving without Shen Yuan. This point is accompanied by demonic qi so strong everyone in the brothel can feel it and Xin Mo oozing malevolence, so the Madam shuts the fuck up, takes the gold and has someone fetch Shen Yuan. Who is very into slightly older and much richer/stronger Binghe spiriting him away, thanks. He has no issues at all with Luo Binghe setting him up in his palace and keeping him buried under luxury and love, none at all.

At some point in the future, Luo Binghe has to visit the sect for some reason or another and decides to bring Shen Yuan just because. Yue Qingyuan chokes when he sees who Luo Binghe’s spouse is. Shen Jiu isn’t a fan either.

Shen Yuan might possibly still be a little bitter about how the whole thing turned out, so he waits for the right moment and calls Yue Qingyuan Qi-ge right in front of Shen Jiu. Who breaks his fan in rage while Yue Qingyuan sweats all the water off his body, because Shen Jiu knew Shen Yuan looked like him, but he didn’t know how much Yue Qingyuan shared about him or that he basically had him roleplay him.

Shen Yuan is having the time of his life creating chaos.

Shen Jiu is pissed as hell and turns his hostility toward Shen Yuan for half a second before Binghe, who has no idea what happened, radiates demonic qi strongly enough that disciples run away in fright, and tell Shen Jiu that even if he is his Shizun, if he touches one hair of Shen Yuan’s head he’s dead. And he means it. Shen Jiu sneers but he retreats because he knows he has no chance of beating him, and Yue Qingyuan is way too mortified to do anything.

Shen Yuan is very happy because out of all of them, he’s the one who got the better deal.

The End.

And now, a fic about Luo Binghe’s return.

“Shen Yuan! Shen Yuan! Go downstairs now! The madam needs you.”

Shen Yuan blinks at the shaken serving girl. “I would rather not.” Whatever is causing the waves of unease that are disturbing everyone, he wants nothing to do with.

The girl seems close to tears. “You have to! He looks nice, but I bet he’ll kill her if you don’t.”

Shen Yuan definitely doesn’t want to go down now. Why would he go meet a murderer. He will regret the madam dying a lot less than losing his own life. “Who is “he”?”

She starts crying. “I don’t know! But he wants to buy your contract! Why did you get involved with someone so dangerous!”

Someone who wants to buy his contract? A few names come to mind, but none stick. The only person with both the means and the will to do so hasn’t stopped by in years. Not to mention Yue Qingyuan isn’t the kind of man that would kill for him. “I have no idea who it could be. Are you sure he asked for me? It must be some mistake.” He isn’t dumb. While some of the courtesans here court disaster by entertaining thieves and killers, Shen Yuan always favored scholars and public servants, much less prone to turning against him.

“There’s no mistake! He asked for you by name!” The serving girl pulls at his sleeve with force.  

This tiny slip of a girl could never hope to bring him anywhere he doesn’t want to go, but he has to admit to himself that if the man is that insistent, he will come to get him himself if Shen Yuan doesn’t come down, and that would make deescalating this situation that much harder. “Fine. Stop pulling, you’ll rip the fabric. I’ll come along.” Shen Yuan puts on his most placid mask and follows the girl to the front desk.

Where a very, very attractive man is waiting. For a moment, Shen Yuan is too blinded by the man’s sheer physical perfection to realise who he is. The next moment, he’s convinced he has gone insane. Dead men do not return from the grave.

And yet, there’s no mistaking that flawless visage. “…Binghe?”

His voice wavers against his will.  

Luo Binghe turns toward him, polite smile fading into true happiness. “Shen Yuan!”

For a moment, Shen Yuan thinks Luo Binghe will jump on him and take him here and now, for anyone to see, considering how hungry for him he looks.  

But Luo Binghe controls himself. “I came here to buy off your contract. Is that something you’re amenable to?”

…What? Why? What is happening? A mere disciple could never hope to buy off his contract. Then again, from the luxury of the robes he’s wearing, he probably isn’t just a disciple anymore. “Your sect master told me you were dead.” Important matters must be addressed first. Shen Yuan won’t be bought by a ghost, thank you.

“He was wrong. I had… family obligations to deal with, but now that they are dealt with, I returned to free you. Afterward, Shen Yuan can do whatever he wants.” His voice lowers and trembles a little. “He doesn’t have to come with me, if he would prefer not to. All I ask is that he doesn’t remain here. Shen Yuan is so talented, there are many things he could do if he chose to. Whatever path he wants to walk, this Luo Binghe will happily support, if Shen Yuan would let him.”

Shen Yuan stands frozen where he is. Not only Luo Binghe is back, he’s offering to free him? Why? Shen Yuan doesn’t understand anything.

This is unbecoming. “If you would follow me to my room? There are many things I would like to ask.”

“Yes!” Luo Binghe follows him almost too eagerly.  

The moment the door closes behind them, Luo Binghe traps him into an embrace too strong to be escaped from. “Shen Yuan! Shen Yuan! It really is you! I missed you so much.”

All anxiety he might have held melts into nothing. Ah, this is still his cute Binghe, too innocent for this place and yet refusing to let it corrupt him.  

He goes to return the embrace, but before he can, Luo Binghe pushes him away gently, leaving him destabilised.  

“I pray Shen Yuan forgive my presumptuousness. It had been years. He might not even remember me.”

Shen Yuan rolls his eyes. “Did I not call your name as soon as I saw you? Of course I remember you. I would like to know what happened to you, though.” From up close, Luo Binghe looks like the son of a rich nobleman, or maybe even a prince. Everything he wears screams wealth. He is startlingly out of place in Shen Yuan’s small and proper room. “Is Luo Binghe the scion of some rich family? Or did he marry a princess?”  

“I would never! The only want I would share my life with is you!”

Shen Yuan blinks at this declaration as Luo Binghe blushes. “Shen Yuan must forgive me again. I didn’t intend to be so blunt, but since it has been said, Shen Yuan must know only his memory keep me sane during those years. I would love nothing more than repay him for what he has done for me. All the wealth and power I control are his to command, if he wants to. But, as I said before, if he would rather try his fortune by himself, I will wish him well and let him go. I just don’t want Shen Yuan to have to share his bed with people he doesn’t desire. Even if it is how we met, he deserves better.”  

Shen Yuan notices Luo Binghe’s eyes are full of tears. He mindlessly uses his sleeve to wipe them off, a gesture familiar to them both. Luo Binghe has always been easily overwhelmed.  

The proposition is very appealing. Shen Yuan wants nothing more than be freed of this place. And since it is obvious that buying him wouldn’t even set him back… “Luo Binghe really wants to use his money to free this old man? Doesn’t he have better things to use it for?”

But Luo Binghe isn’t looking at him anymore. Through the open door to his bedroom, his eyes have caught the little altar with incense still smoking. “Shen Yuan, is this, can I dare ask if…”

Shen Yuan blushes. How ridiculous this seems now. Luo Binghe isn’t dead. He needs no offering. “Yes. I thought you were dead, and you told me you had no family, so I got into the habit of preparing offerings for you in case no one else would and just… never stopped. You can laugh at this sentimental fool, if you want.”

Luo Binghe kisses him, wet and hot and messy, hands tangling into his hair and keeping him there. “Let me take you to my home. Let me treat you the way you deserve to be treated. You will never lack for anything, I promise. If you don’t want to share my bed, that’s fine, but please, let me keep you by my side.”

His little Binghe is no liar. Shen Yuan could always read the truth of him on his face, on his body, in his every gesture. He knows too much of Luo Binghe to be scared of him, or to doubt him.  

Also, Shen Yuan has eyes. Who but the blinds would not want to share this man’s bed? It’s a good thing Luo Binghe put an end to the kiss, because if he hadn’t, they might not have left today. “If, for some reason, Binghe has taken a fancy to this old whore, I would love nothing more than accompany him away from here and into his bed, if he wants me to.”

“Shen Yuan!” Luo Binghe kisses him so more, and this time, Shen Yuan kisses back, allowing himself for the first time to accept just how much he missed this dear little client of his.  

“Is there anything Shen Yuan wants to bring along?”  

Shen Yuan looks at the garish robes, the maquillage and the fans he held on to for whatever reasons. “No. But I should bring some clothes. I have little money to buy new robes.”

“Shen Yuan doesn’t have to worry. From now on, only the finest silk will adorn his body. If he doesn’t like his current robes, he can leave them here.” His own eyes travel over the room, before they falter. “I just, if Shen Yuan agrees, I would like to take the altar back? He won’t have to look at it if it brings back bad memories. I will keep it in my room, as proof of his affection.”

The blush returns to Shen Yuan’s face. He will never stop feeling stupid for tending to an altar for a living man.  

Still. If it made Luo Binghe happy, it was less useless than it seems. “Luo Binghe can have it, of course.”

Luo Binghe seems ecstatic. “Thank you!” He extends his hand to Shen Yuan. “Well then, if Shen Yuan would come with me?”

Resolved, Shen Yuan takes his hand.

It’s so big now, strong and firm. Luo Binghe can easily hold all of Shen Yuan’s hand in his.  

It only brings him reassurance.  

His fingers curl around Luo Binghe’s, and his heart warms when they curl back.

He knows they won’t let go.

[dearlazerbunny]

Lie to Me (Ch. 18 of 28)

Pairings: Loki x Reader

Genre/Ratings: M eventually (aiming for a slow burn here); warnings for kidnapping and subsequent anxiety/PTSD (will be marked before every chapter)

Words: 1500

Summary: If you had to guess what the captured, traitor, trickster god Loki Laufeyson wanted or needed at this moment, a babysitter would be far, far down on the list. (Set after the events of Avengers 1.)

SHOUTOUT TO @molmcb and @jessiejunebug, who fair warning are def laughing at everyone freaking out because they know exactly where the story is going

Requested Tags: @deraniel, @iamverity,  @yasnooshka24, @wegingerangelica, @themusingsofmany, @dark-night-sky-99, @tarynkauai, @stuffandstuff-stuff, @angelicshinigami, @my-current-fandom-is, @geekysimmerthings, @lokis-butter-knife

WARNING: Loki is M A D and thus HYDRA agents die sickly deaths

[[Bold+Italics = Y/N’s thoughts, Italics = Loki’s thoughts]]

Um. Loki?

Loki’s head snaps up, eyes blazing, fists curled in green magic. “I have her.”

“You have found her?” Thor demands. “How?”

“She is…” his voice breaks, words spiraling off into an abyss of bittersweet terror. “She is praying. To me.”

Thor’s eyes soften just for an instant, before his resolution returns in spades. “Then I believe you would do well to answer her, yes?”

Loki looks at his brother, standing by his side, matched in fury and determination. Ready to charge headfirst into battle for nothing but the sake of himself and yours. And he wonders how he has called himself intelligent for millennia while still being so oblivious to who he truly has had poised in his corner all this time. “Brace yourself,” he says, and puts a hand laced with green magic on Thor’s arm.

In a shimmer and haze they reappear in some sort of compound. Based on the chill emanating from the concrete walls, underground. Though he does not know their precise location, Loki can tell they have travelled hundreds of miles from where they began- how had they managed to move you so quickly?

He shakes his head. Questions for another time. Both warriors are silent as they take in their surroundings, noting the echoing of footsteps- a hallway, through the door to their right- and low chatter all around.

“This is the HYDRA they spoke of?” Thor’s voice is a low rumble; Mjolnir seems to crackle impatiently in his grasp.

“Yes.”

“Can you sense her?”

Loki reaches out through every means he has, trying to strengthen your thoughts in his mind. “Faintly. She has little time.”

“Time enough.” Without warning, he arcs Mjolnir into the ground below him, crumbling the floor to dust and landing on a lower level. The screams start scarcely before the rubble settles, and despite the circumstances, Loki spares a moment to roll his eyes. And they call him dramatic.

With Thor providing a sufficient distraction, he summons his daggers to him and slips through the nearest door, every footstep bring him closer to wherever you hide.

He comes upon his first opponent the next time he hears your voice. Do I need to, like, invoke your full name or something? Startled, he falters, and the lackey dressed in military gear almost lands a blow before Loki’s reflexes kick in and efficiently pin the man to the wall. He is dead in mere seconds, when green energy overwhelms him and seizes his heart. The body slumps to the floor, and Loki tries to regain his balance. He can still hear you. And that means you’re still alive. For now. Leave it to you to ponder the proper protocols of summoning a god whilst bleeding out in a corner somewhere. Something in his heart pangs. Keep talking to me, love. You can do it. I’m coming. By the stars, I’m coming.

Loki Laufeyson, son of Odin

When you speak his name, your connection grows stronger. He makes a hairpin turn down a corridor to his left, and bangs open a door so hard spiderweb cracks are left in the steel. It leads to a staircase

rightful king of Jotunheim

Steps are cleared ten at a time, each leap pushing him further underground

God of Mischief and Lies

When two stocky guards appear at the bottom of the steps, Loki doesn’t hesitate before putting a dagger through one’s throat, and smashing the other’s head into a concrete block, leaving a sickly trail of blood leaking from the back of his skull

Royal pain in my ass for the past year

Had any HYDRA personnel glanced at the god’s face in that moment, they would have seen a ruthless, wolffish grin overtake his features, his smile as sharp as the daggers aimed at their hearts

Um, hi. It’s me.

Loki huffs as he retrieves his weapons from yet another pair of unfortunate victims. As though it could be anyone else. As if anyone else could have worked their way into his head so quickly, wrapped their fingers around his heart so thoroughly, had their laugh running through his veins like morphine when the nights proved too dark for him to handle on his own

You’d laugh if you were here, trust me

“My sense of humor only goes so far, Witling,” he growls, “and at the moment you are severely pushing its boundaries.” His next target only has time to give him a confused glance before their eyes roll back into their head

So, I know you’re kinda in a cell

Once again, his smile turns dark, and he lets a little extra energy crackle and spiral up his arms, enjoying the feeling of pure power he’s been missing in his imprisonment. Not anymore. Would there be consequences waiting for him? Yes. But he’ll gladly take them and more if it means getting you out of here alive-

I mean, I’m gonna die either way

With a roar, he rips more pathetic beings out of his way and descends another level. You. Are. Not. Dying. Stop saying that.

Sorry, that was a joke. You know I like you better.

And I adore nothing in the world so much as you. Is that not strange?

More hallways that lead to dead ends, more rooms with no treasure to be had but the thrill of seeing the light leave another’s eyes

I don’t know if you can hear me

My love, I would wager all of Asgard that I could still hear your voice if I was frozen in the heart of Ginnungagap itself.

a prince is still a prince, no matter where he comes from

And with his shoulders steady, his aim quick and true, his feet lithe and dancing over the destruction that lay in his wake, Loki Laufeyson looks every inch a fearsome prince no one in the nine realms would dare deny

Thor loves you, even if you don’t believe it

Somewhere above him, thunder rumbles, and the building shakes with heaven-sent lightning. The telltale smell of ozone lingers in the air. Loki has seen enough battles to picture his brother now, glowing with energy as he searches for the next soul that stands in his way

try not to dagger him unless he really deserves it

A smile touches his lips. Ah, Witling. Always so forgiving.

So does Frigga

Frigga. Something low in his gut twists. All-Mother, may you hear her pleas as well as mine. Watch over us both.

Trust me, I know these things

Indeed you do, darling. Somehow you seem to know more of the world than I ever shall, and you have only seen a pinprick of what it has to offer. The thought makes him angry, makes him curl his fists harder and slam it into someone’s jaw even more ruthlessly. I will show you the cosmos, my love. I swear it.

You’re close now, he can tell, because your anguish is starting to feel like a tangible thing he could reach out and rip from the air. Your pain becomes his, his terror becomes yours. He isn’t sure if the blood lingering on his tongue is yours, his, or a mingling of both

You aren’t anything like I expected

A smirk quirks his features. I have never, ever been what they expected. I have always been far more.

Closer, closer. He is closer but your voice grows dimmer, further away. He abandons stealth for an all out run, recklessly wrenching open doors as he passes in desperate hope that you might lie behind them

but I’m glad you’re not

You’d be the first.

I don’t think I’d love you nearly as much if you were

I don’t think I’d love you

love you

An unassuming hatch cracked the slightest bit open gets ripped off its hinges so forcefully it is thrown down the hall. Light floods the abandoned space, highlighting old equipment and stray bullet casings

and you.

You, curled up in the corner, clutching an old weapon to your chest like the cold metal might keep your heart from stopping. From here, he can see jagged edges of bone, glowing white against pale skin. Your hair sticks to your scalp in a mess of blood, and drops of it trickle down your cheek, marring your face. What isn’t white is red, and what isn’t red is black and purple and blue.

Keep yourself out of trouble, Trickster. For me.

“Never,” he breathes. It is trouble that led me to you, darling, and for that I shall consecrate myself at its feet for the rest of my days.

Your eyes open, blearily, his whispered words having stirred something inside you. Though you look right at him, your gaze goes through him, seeing nothing but a shadow haloed in green light. Some minuscule part of your brain wakes up enough to say point, aim, trigger

You manage to fire off three shots before everything in you goes slack.

Some notes:

- So @christ-on-a-fucking-stick-tm decided to go and WRITE ME A FUCKIN FICLET and it’s amazing and go read it: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20631224/chapters/48990377. In honor of their utter perfection, have a chapter <3

- Ginnungagap = “gaping abyss”. It’s basically the primordial void of Norse mythos.

- Spot the Shakespeare quote! ‘Tis one of my favorite quotes, and I feel like Loki would have a (grudging) respect for the Bard.

[melodyalanaroster]

Welcome To Weathering

Disclaimer: This takes place after The Implementation Of Protocol 216.

"I love you Nathaniel. Don’t ever forget that.” Alana’s voice began to waver, despite her desperate attempts to keep it steady. Nathaniel was doing everything in his power not to cry. “I promise you, I wont.” He choked. He took his jacket off, placed it around Alana’s shoulders and kissed her. “I love you more than anything in this world Alana. And when I get home, I will spend the rest of my life proving that to you.” Alana turned to Sam and Ken. “Take good care of them.” She pleaded. Sam hugged Alana. “You know damn well we will.”

The car ride to Weathering was mostly quiet. Kentin drove and did his best to catch up with Nathaniel and make small talk, but Nathaniel wasn’t having it. It was nice to see his friend again, but he was too upset over having to leave Alana. Amber attempted to apologize to Kentin and Sam for how she acted in High School, but Sam cut her off before she could finish. “If Mels believes you to be redeemed, then so do we. My sister wouldn’t forgive and protect someone like you if you hadn’t changed.” She stated. “Oh, okay.” Amber muttered and looked down. Nathaniel stared out the window. “The last time I was in Weathering, Alana was leaving for Toronto.” He thought. Sam got on her phone. “Rini? Are you near Amouria? Good. I need you to get to the Black Tower and keep Mels company. She’ll know why I sent you and will tell you if she feels like it. Because you and I both know she’s insanely stubborn and will fall back into the abyss if someone from her innermost circle isn’t there to keep her out of it. I have no idea how long. The Black Tower has plenty of spaces to do that, I’m sure Mels won’t have an issue with you using a room to perform that action. Viktor can handle that, it’s not a difficult task. Trust me, you still won’t meet Nathaniel until the moment she’s decided upon. Thanks for this Rini. No, seriously. I’m not as worried for my sister... But I do know Nathaniel will rest easier knowing that Mels is being looked after during this. Alright. Love you too. Later.” She hung up and put her phone in her lap. “So, Severina is going to be with Alana?” Nathaniel piped up. “Yeah. Trust me, if anyone can keep my sister from falling back into that pit of depression, it’s her.” Sam replied. Nathaniel continued to watch the scenery pass by. It had been forty five minutes and they still had a few minutes left of the drive before they would arrive at the Roster Family Home. “Wow, I didn’t know Weathering was so far away from Amouria. This town is so cute.” Amber commented as she watched the town begin to pass her window. “It’s gotten a few face lifts over the years. It was a bit smaller when Mels and I moved to Amouria... And even smaller when we were kids.” Sam explained. “What type of people live here?” Amber asked. “It’s a mix. Neighborhood wise, the farms are to the East, the upper class is to the West, and everyone else lives in the North And South. The Roster Family Home is to the North...” Sam explained. 

The car swiftly passed through the city and began to enter a slightly wooded area. “We’re here.” Ken stated as he pulled up to a gate and put in a pass code. As the gate opened and the car pulled through, Nathaniel and Amber looked at the house. “Woah.” Amber commented. When the car came to a complete stop, they all got out and looked around. Ken popped the trunk and Sam immediately walked up to the door, unlocked and opened it. “Come on.” Sam encouraged. Nathaniel and Amber got their bags and walked inside. “Welcome to Weathering guys. Until Purification is complete, this place is your home. You can move about freely within the city, but you cannot go to Amouria. Nathaniel, you will be in Mels’ room. I trust that you remember where it is.” Sam clarified. Nathaniel nodded and walked to Alana’s room. When he got to her door, he sighed. “It’s strange being here and not having you with me.” He muttered as he opened the door. The room was covered in geeky items. The bed was black and deep blue, like her bed in Death’s Domain. He sat his bag down on the floor and sat down on the bed. 

His mind wandered to what was going to happen. Each and every member of the Cartel was going to die. The Police Force was going to be made aware of the R.D.R’s decision, as well as why he was no longer an issue. Eric had tried to call him at least twice in the past couple of days, but he ignored him. He knew what Eric was bound to ask and say... And he really didn’t want to be interrogated again. Alana had told him that she would contact Eric and tell him everything that he needed to know. Because of Sam, Alana would have Severina to lean on during this time. He kicked his shoes off and laid down.

“Hey Nathaniel! Wake up!” Sam shook him awake. “What’s going on?” Nathaniel gasped as he sat up. “Dinner is downstairs. Come on, you need to eat.” Sam stated. “Aren’t you not allowed in here?” Nathaniel asked as he sat up. “Under normal circumstances, Mels would kill me if I came in here. But, I am allowed to come in and check on you if it involves a meal being ready.” Sam explained. Nathaniel got out of bed and followed Sam downstairs. 

Kentin had ordered take out and placed it on the table. “There’s tacos and nachos for everyone but Amber.” He stated as Nathaniel and Sam entered the room. “Thanks for the salad.” Amber did her best to smile as she sat down in front of it. “You made sure to get sweet tea, right?” Sam asked as she sat down. “Of course I did, love. Come on Nathaniel, sit down. Make yourself at home.” Ken smiled as he sat down next to Sam and motioned to Nathaniel. “How can you two eat? Knowing what Alana is doing right now?” Nathaniel asked Sam and Ken. Sam sighed. “Right now, my sister is currently watching Sailor Moon with Severina and intends on doing a live stream of some of her play through of Kingdom Hearts 3 tomorrow.” She stated. Nathaniel blinked, a little caught off guard. “What?” Ken checked his phone. “Yeah, it’s on both the Family Forum and Instagram.” Nathaniel took out his phone, checked Instagram and the Family Forum, and sighed. Sam cocked her head a little. “This isn’t the first time my sister has watched over a Purification. This is simply the only time she’s ever been the one to enact it. She doesn’t have to take part in some elaborate plan. She just can’t leave the city until it’s over.” Sam explained. “So? She’s not gonna do any of the killing? Or be present to it?” Nathaniel asked. Sam face palmed. “I know she explained this to you. YES. She will be present for the death of the final boss. Once he’s dead and Purification is officially over, she will probably come out here and pick you up herself. Geez boy. I get that you’re upset, but please don’t waste my time being dense.” Nathaniel looked at Sam, annoyed. “Do you always have to be like this?” He asked. “YES! Nathaniel! As my brother, you are entitled to being treated how I see fit to treat my siblings. When you and Mels act like dense fools, I will happily call you two out on that. For fuck’s sake! I told you the exact thing the first time you two were together! You think that’s changed? Fuck no! So, sit your ass down and eat!” Sam boomed. Nathaniel looked at Sam, shocked and sat down in front of a plate of nachos and tacos. His mind didn’t want him to eat.... It wanted him to do his best to make his way back to Amouria and make sure Alana would be okay... But, he knew Sam was right, and his stomach needed him to eat... So, much to his brain’s dismay, he began to fill his stomach.

After dinner, Sam and Amber began walking around the property, talking. Either Alana had notified her sister about Amber’s condition, or Sam had instantly recognized it herself. Nathaniel pondered as to which option was the one that took place. “Mels told us the other day about Amber’s diet.” Ken walked up behind him. “Am I really that easy to guess?” Nathaniel asked. They began walking through the house. “For the past few years, I have had to be the sane one for both Sam and Mels. You can’t do that without picking up a few tricks.” Ken explained. They began talking about some of the events of the past few years. Alana had told Nathaniel a lot, but Ken was filling in some of the blanks. The rumors of the treaty between the Military and the R.D.R were true. Alana and Sam had had a fight so vicious that the organizations made it illegal for them to ever fight as enemies ever again. Everyone hated Azrael and blamed her for worsening Alana’s depression. “I don’t need to hear your side of Azrael forcing Alana’s and my separation.” Nathaniel interrupted Ken as Ken had begun to talk about it. “Sorry.” Ken replied.

After a few minutes of walking in silence, they met up with the girls, who had also ended up walking in silence. “Hey, guys, do you think we could go into the city and wander around a bit tomorrow?” Amber asked, doing her best to break the silence. “I’d rather not.” Nathaniel stated. “Well, that decides it. We’re all going.” Sam declared. “Why?” Nathaniel asked. “Because, you’re not gonna sit around this house and mope the entire time my sister is saving your ass! There are a shit ton of things to do in this city, and frankly, it would be good for all of us to actually enjoy our time here.” Sam emphasized.

It didn’t take long for the conversation to end and Nathaniel to go back to Alana’s room. He checked social media to see if there had been any updates. Eric was still trying to get a hold of him, demanding to know the answers to several questions. “I will discuss things with him.” Alana had told him. He knew he had to have faith in her. As he logged onto the family forum, he noticed that Severina had posted a video. She and Alana were laughing and eating pizza. “Come on Mels, why can’t I meet him before that gala?” “Because! This will be the first time my best friends meet my boyfriend! It’s going to be a historic event! Not to mention how Nathaniel and I will look like royalty and be able to have a romantic dance.... We haven’t done that since Prom....” “And what about that party you two went to a while ago?” “That was different... Nathaniel pulled me into a tango, and I was wearing a dress that amounted to little more than a napkin. At the gala, he’s gonna wear a custom suit, which he looks BEYOND SEXY in, I’ll be wearing a really cool dress, and we’ll have a chance to slow dance. God, the mere thought of it is magnificent!” Alana blushed. Nathaniel chuckled. She seemed fine, but he knew that with Severina there, Alana wouldn’t get too depressed. That didn’t stop him from missing her and worrying about her.

As he took off his clothes and got into her bed, he looked at the ceiling and sighed. “This is going to be interesting.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had the option of keeping Nathaniel and Amber in The Black Tower, but everyone told me that it would be better to do some world building. And because of that, here we are. Nathaniel and Amber are in Weathering with Alana’s sister and Ken. This completely derails from the in game canon. I’m definitely out of my element in the sense of writing from Nathaniel’s point of view... But, I feel like it’s necessary. I was really unsure of how long this one should be, because it doesn’t go with the game canon... But, I’m happy that it’s much shorter than the other ones....

Credit goes to:

Unnieverso for the Kentin Sprite

FNAFfanart67 for the base to Sam’s sprite

andanguyen for the background

[camillemontespan]

the posh type [drake walker x mc]

Just a one shot, part fluff, part sex. I’m not the best at writing sex scenes but I hope you still enjoy! No reason for writing this except I was inspired by the above gif. I like it. 

@jovialyouthmusic @pug-bitch @moonlightgem7 @sirbeepsalot @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @notoriouscs @iplaydrake @carabeth @drakewalkerisreal  

***************************************************************************************

It was their first wedding anniversary. Drake had booked the restaurant four months in advance and he had planned the evening down to every last detail. He had made sure Hana was around to babysit baby Lily and he had even bought a new suit for the occasion. 

Drake could hear Camille singing as she applied her makeup and he smiled to himself. He couldn’t believe he actually had a first anniversary. He never saw himself reaching that sort of milestone in his life; he had always pushed people away, kept up the walls, refused to let anyone in.  How things had changed.

Camille sprayed her Chanel perfume onto the insides of her wrists and examined her reflection in the mirror. She wanted to look good for Drake. 

She found him on their balcony waiting for her. He turned when he heard her heels against the ground and his eyes travelled down her body and then back to her face, a dopey grin on his face. ‘You look incredible,’ he told her. She did; she was wearing a black bodycon dress which highlighted her body and black stilettos. Her eye makeup was smokey and her hair was tousled in waves. ‘You’re wearing a new suit,’ she said, raising an eyebrow. Drake blushed. ‘For you.’ 

Camille stepped forward and kissed him softly. ‘You look as handsome as always.’ 

Drake took her hand and the couple left the balcony to say goodbye to Hana. ‘If Lily wakes up, play her Moon River by Andy Williams, that’s her jam,’ Camille said. ‘It always gets her back to sleep.’

‘Noted. Have an amazing time guys!’  Hana squealed, clapping her hands. Drake chuckled and guided Camille out to the waiting taxi outside.

*******************************************************************************************

They hadn’t had a proper date night since Lily was born. Drake pulled out Camille’s chair for her, ever the gentleman, and settled down opposite her. The restaurant was busy but it had a romantic atmosphere. A pianist was playing the corner and French doors opened out onto a terrace which was lit up by candles. Drake asked for the best Sauvignon Blanc and he poured Camille a large glass. They clinked their glasses together.

‘To many more anniversaries like this one,’ Camille toasted. Drake gave her a wink. ‘Nah, this will be the only one you get. Next year, it’s just a card.’ 

Camille let out a laugh and shook her head. ‘I love you, Walker.’

The two of them shared a smile and studied the menu. Drake held her hand across the table as he made his choices. When his eyes met hers, Camille blushed and Drake chuckled. This was exactly how he wanted the night to be; just them, laughing and acting like they were on a first date again.

*******************************************************************************************

‘Are you kidding? Of course Maxwell would be the first to die in a horror film!’ Drake said. ‘The guy’s too trusting, he would probably welcome the killer into the house!’

‘True, but Bertrand would hide in the closet, probably to protect his sweater vests and kimonos. Everyone knows not to hide in the closet,’ Camille argued.

‘Maxwell would be the one who actually runs up the stairs,’ Drake continued his argument. ‘That’s the first sign that you’re gonna die.’

‘Well, Bertrand would think he’s safe and then come out. He would go into the bathroom to calm down, open up the mirror cabinet for some calming pills, shut it and BAM! The killer’s behind him!’

‘Alright.. who would be the killer then?’ Drake asked, a glint in his eye. Camille frowned, thinking. ‘....Definitely Liam.’

Drake burst out laughing. ‘What?! Liam’s the nicest guy in the world!’

‘Exactly!’ Camille cried, pointing at Drake. ‘Nobody suspects the nice guy! Come on, he would need to let loose from being all kingly, a little bit of murdering might be his sort of self care..’

Drake snorted and took a sip of wine. ‘A little bit of murdering.. Camille, it would obviously be Olivia.’

‘You would think that! She would be the main suspect until she’s found dead in the second half!’

Drake sat back in his chair, studying his wife. ‘You have really thought about this...’

Camille shrugged. ‘When I’m feeding Lily at 3am, my mind wanders.’

‘Good God, I’ve married a weirdo.’

Camille stuck her tongue out at him and drank some more wine. ‘This is really fun, Drake. I love this.. just being us. Drake and Camille.’

Drake smiled bashfully. ‘Aw shucks..’

Camille grinned and placed her napkin down on the table. ‘I’m going to the bathroom,’ she told him. ‘Feel free to come join me.’ 

‘What?’

She leaned down to whisper in his ear. ‘You heard me.’

Drake looked around the restaurant. This was a posh place. It wasn’t the kind of restaurant where you go and bang your date mid-dinner. Fucks sake, there was a piano in the corner. Then again, posh restaurants weren’t actually Drake and Camille’s thing. Sure, he had booked this place for their anniversary but that was because he wanted to really push the boat out. He had also heard their steaks were the best in Cordonia, which had swayed him. 

He watched as Camille gave him a wink and walked towards the bathroom, her hips swinging seductively. Drake’s eyes fixed on her ass as she walked away and he felt his trousers tighten. 

Fuck it, we’re not the posh type. 

He pushed his chair out and followed her. 

*******************************************************************************************

It was only the one ladies’ bathroom, it had a lock, nobody was going to walk in. Drake had checked.  He had her perched on top of the sink in an instant.

His hands ran up her thighs, pushing up her black dress as he kissed her fiercely. Camille groaned as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Her heels had slipped off when Drake picked her up but she didn’t care; she just wanted her husband right. now.

Drake’s teeth tugged on her bottom lip and she rolled her head back against the wall as she focused on his touch. His fingers had pulled aside her thong and he had began to work her, gently at first, but picking up pace the more she moaned. Her hands reached for his belt and she unbuckled it swiftly, impatient. Drake felt himself grow even harder, knowing that she wanted him. 

‘Fuck me, Drake,’ she murmured against his mouth. Her tongue flicked against his and Drake could taste her watermelon lip balm. 

‘I’m planning to,’ he whispered and he felt her hand wrap along his length, guiding it to her centre. ‘I want it now,’ she said.

Drake teased her entrance, watching as she bit her lip, her brown eyes growing darker. She was already so wet for him. Drake loved it. He teased her with the tip of his length some more, smirking as her breath hitched. ‘Damn it, Walker, you sure know how to get a girl all hot and bothered,’ she ground out. 

Drake’s eyes penetrated hers. ‘Somebody’s impatient, huh?’

‘Just fancy being fucked on a sink, that’s all.’ 

Drake laughed and kissed her deeply; as he did so, he finally entered her. Camille let out a gasp and she wrapped her legs around him, pulling his body further into hers. ‘You are so fucking big, Drake,’ she breathed and Drake smirked. He placed his hands under her and lifted her slightly, tilting her up into an angle, so he could see himself driving into her. His eyes flicked up to hers and he caught the mischievous look on her face. She was loving this. 

They didn’t often do sex in public places; it wasn’t their style. Drake liked to be romantic with it while Camille liked having all the time in the world in their own space as they fucked. 

This was different and Drake was really, really into it. 

She kissed his neck as he bucked his hips against hers, her fingernails gripping onto his shoulders as she cried out. He could smell her perfume and he kissed the insides of her wrists, inhaling the scent. Camille smiled at the intimate gesture; Drake always did things like that when they were together. He always found a way to make it special, meaningful, like he worshipped her. For Camille, Drake had ruined all men for her because no other man could match him. Even better, he was hers.

Drake could feel himself getting close as he fucked her harder. The way she was crying out his name was only adding to it. He had found her sweet spot and focused in on it, causing her body to jerk and shake. ‘Drake, I’m gonna-’ she warned him and Drake let out a haggered breath as he increased his pace. Camille screamed his name and her body shook against him, her legs tightening around his waist. Drake felt the wave too and he rode it, ready to fall into the abyss. Camille dropped her head down onto his shoulder as she let go, panting heavily. Her breath tickled against his neck.

‘Wow. Wow..’ she murmured to herself. Drake gently pulled out and watched her as she gazed up at him. ‘Happy anniversary honey,’ he said, the corner of his mouth tugging up into a lazy grin. Camille leaned her head against the wall, catching her breath.

*******************************************************************************************

Drake watched as Camille went back to their table first. She ran her fingers through her hair as she walked; her hair had been tousled before. Now, it looked like she had been dragged through a hedge backwards. 

Drake followed a few moments later, trying to appear nonchalant. He smiled at an old man with a white handlebar moustache who was wearing a top hat. 

I should get a top hat.

He could hear whispers. ‘Is that the Duke of Valtoria?’

Drake kept his head down as he reached the table. Camille looked up at him with her kohl rimmed eyes, resting her chin on the palm of her hand. ‘Nice bathroom break?’

‘Lovely toilets. Very personal experience.’

‘Good for you. Now, shall we order dessert to go and eat it in bed?’

Drake chuckled. ‘Best anniversary ever.’

[keeroo92]

Dreamweaver

This is for @dmcgenweek for day 5, dreams/nightmares. This one’s a bit short, but I may end up writing a fair bit more later on when I’m not about to pass out. Enjoy!

_________________________

The soft sound of breathing mixed with occasional snores inside Nico’s van. All your friends were sleeping after the long day spent fighting demons. You? You didn’t sleep.

Ever.

You didn’t need to. At least, not since the demons appeared. Instead, you passed the long hours thinking in silence, watching over the group as they rested. You missed sleep, missed dreaming. Yet at the same time, the quiet stillness of night was enjoyable.

It was only a few nights ago you’d learned why you no longer slept.

Well, sort of.

It had been a night much like tonight, a moonless and clear sky allowing you to gaze at the stars in wonder. You knew the noises of your friends’ slumber so well by then that any disturbance instantly caught your attention.

So Nero’s hitched breath made you gasp and you turned to watch as he twitched fitfully, his face twisted in fear.

A nightmare…?

You stepped closer to him to wake him up, but the moment you touched his feverish skin you were plunged into inky darkness.

“KYRIEEEEEE!”

Nero’s heartbroken wail was all you could hear in the abyss. All around you was black, no light anywhere to be seen. Panic filled you. Your eyes dilated in a futile attempt to gather more light, your heat beating painfully fast as adrenaline surged through you.

You could barely move; it felt as if slimy walls were crushing you on all sides as you slowly shuffled forward. You didn’t know what you’d find, only that standing still would gain you nothing.

“Nero?!”

You called for him over and over as you fought your way onward. His cries grew louder until at last you felt something under your searching hands, smooth leather and rough wool. You gripped his clothing tightly, still unable to see him even as he stood a mere two feet in front of you. He didn’t react to your presence at all, so you wrapped him in a close hug to still his thrashing arms.

“Nero, it’s okay! It’s me, I’ve got you!”

You whispered reassurance and comfort to the young warrior for what felt like eons as the darkness maintained its impenetrable depth around you.

Nero, please! I’m scared!

Your thoughts raced as you tried to figure out where the two of you were. You had no sensory input to guide you aside from the texture of Nero’s clothing and the timbre of his voice. You couldn’t even feel the floor beneath your feet or tell how warm the air around you was. You had never experienced such a lack of input.

Wait, yes I have.

But only in my dreams.

…is this a dream?

Your eyes widened and you exhaled softly. It couldn’t be your dream – you didn’t sleep. So it must be Nero’s. Nero’s nightmare. You gripped him even tighter, cradling his head against your neck.

“Nero… wake up. Come on, this isn’t real. You need to wake up.”

At first, nothing changes. He kept calling for his beloved fiancé, desperately trying to fight his way back to her but unable to break free of whatever pit his mind held him inside. Then, all at once, reality shifted and you found yourself lying beside him on the floor, only your palm on his forearm connecting you as he jerked awake with a strangled scream.

“Nero! Nero, it’s okay! Look at me!”

His gaze settled on you in confusion as he regained awareness. Nico and V were waking as well; you could hear them shifting as they sat up and began heading over to you and the young warrior.

“What the hell? Were you – did you just – what the hell?!”

“The fuck’s going on, guys?” Nico asked tiredly. You had no answers for her, still trying to understand yourself. V plopped on the couch, waiting for someone to answer Nico’s question.

“I… I don’t know what just happened. I think… I think I was in Nero’s nightmare?”

Nero scoffed.

“You weren’t just in it, you pulled me out of it somehow. How did you do that?”

You shook your head, baffled.

V’s startled gasp drew the group’s eyes to him. His mouth was hanging open in a look of dumbfounded amazement you never could have imagined on his normally composed face as he whispered a single word.

“Dreamweaver.”

He tilted his head and stared at you, scrutinizing you for an uncomfortable amount of time as you stared right back, waiting for an explanation. He took his sweet time, but finally explained in a wondrous tone.

“You entered Nero’s nightmare and pulled him back. I’ve heard rumors, stories… but never had I expected to meet… incredible.”

His words left you even more mystified. You felt confused and frustrated tears prick at your eyes, your hands rising to fold across your chest defensively.

“Oh for gods sake, V! Spit it out!”

Thank you Nico.

V blinked, breaking his pseudo-trance to shoot you a sheepish smile.

“Apologies. A dreamweaver is one who can bend the sleeping visions of others they consider friends or family, shaping them into whatever they please from within or even pulling the dreamer back to wakefulness.”

What? No way! This can’t be happening.

Nero glanced at you, then back at V, then back to you, his bewilderment apparent. Nico yawned, but rested a comforting hand on your shoulder as she waited for your reaction.

“Dreamweavers also never sleep,” V concluded softly.

And you knew he was right.

“Well… whatever. They don’t like, eat souls or something right?” Nero asked. V shook his head with a sardonic eye roll, almost enough to make you laugh.

“Then thanks, guess I owe you one.”

You took a deep breath, calming your nerves as best you could. Nico sighed and patted your shoulder.

“Look, guys, I’m gonna pass out so maybe we could figure this shit out in daylight?” she requested. You nodded, smiling at her as she clambered back to the driver’s seat to sleep. V and Nero followed soon after, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

Dreamweaver.

It has a nice ring to it.

Every night since, you’d taken to taking brief trips inside your friends minds, with their permission, to try and shape their dreams. Your success had been limited so far, but none of them had faced a nightmare since then. And if you had anything to say about it, they never would again.

[akianee]

[MCLUL] Episode 11 Ending - NathanielxCandy

Hello everyone! I must admit that I really enjoyed ep.11 of MCLUL. The writing wasn’t that bad and we finally got Nath’s arc so... I have nothing to complain about. BUT... at the same time I just needed to rewrite the ending of Nath’s route... I just needed it. It is nothing new, just a rewrite with some changed dialogues. I hope you enjoy it! And I am really sorry about possible mistakes, English is not my native language :)

Also this story includes my Candy. Her name is Valerie and she is a short blonde girl. 

Fandom: MCL (UL)

Words: 2883

Summation: Valerie rejects Castiel’s offer and comes back to her dorm. She does not know that there is someone waiting for her. (spoilers for ep. 11 included)

“No.” my voice was surprisingly calm. “I am not spending the night with you, Castiel. Not today, not ever.”

I rise up from the couch making his hand, which was stroking my arm just a moment ago, fall onto the seat. He seems a little surprised but says nothing.

I am not angry at him for suggesting me one night stand. We are grown ups, we both are single and there is nothing wrong with things like that. But at the same time… It just felt disrespectful. Like he sees me as one of his groupies who would give everything just to hook up with him. I am not that girl.

Besides we are friends. And I think it would really affect our relationship in not a good way.

There was also a third thing… He wasn’t a person I would like to give my body to. It's not beside him that I want to wake up in the morning. It's not his hands that I want to stroke my skin. It's not his lips that I want to kiss.

“I am your friend, for God’s sake.” I mumble as I try to put on my heels. Why did I chose these pumps a few hours ago when I was completing the outfit? Those with many stripes, difficult to put on? Guess I didn’t know I would have to put them on in such a hurry. “I am not a one night stand. Especially not for you.”

Finally, when I have my shoes on, I reach for a purse. My hands are a little shaky and I feel a bump forming in my throat. I have to get out of here.

“You don’t have to be so annoyed.” he hisses. “I offered something and you did not agree. No big deal.”

I look at him with eyes full of shock. All evening he has been acting strange but now… He is not the Castiel I know. From what I remember he takes relationships very seriously. All of them. And at present he acts like he doesn’t care at all.

Well, maybe he needs a distraction from his fame, groupies and all that stuff. Maybe he is just tired of this and wants a relief. But I am not going to allow him treat me this way.

“Goodnight, Cass.” I try to stay good-tempered. I’ve had enough fights and misunderstandings within last week so now I’d rather avoid any.

Without waiting for his response I run out of the apartment and immediately go to the elevator. My heart is pounding and legs are shaking. It is too late to have any physical activity so my body is opposed to running.

Last week was one of the most fucked up in my entire life. I was on a date with Nathaniel and we kissed. Rosa experienced a great tragedy. I practically poured more tears than ever before previous sunday. Than Nath threw me out of his life. Again. And now Castiel wanted to sleep with me.

Can someone explain to me what the hell is going on? Because I am starting to lose my mind.

Unfortunately, it's very cold outside, and I'm wearing only a short club dress. My mother would probably kill me if she saw me without any jacket in such weather. So I’m kind of lucky parents live in a town few hundred kilometers away.

At this time, the streets are almost deserted. The only person I see is an old man walking his dog out. A strange hour to do that but it’s not my business. Calmly, but quickly I pass the cafe where I work. For a moment I look at my reflection in the window pane.

Blond curls, over which I spent almost an hour, now are almost straight. I see a few tangles in the bottom part of my hair, but because it is like this everyday, I do not care. Fortunately, my make-up is almost intact. Lipstick survived the few drinks I drank all night and mascara did not smudge under the influence of sweat. Even my eyeshadow is in place, still as shimmery as it was this afternoon.

I look good. Beautiful purple dress hugs my body in a nice way and high heels give the impression of lengthening my legs.

But what if I look like this if nobody appreciates it?

Well, Castiel did.

I bite my lower lip thinking about his offer. Maybe I should have stayed. He said I looked beautiful and he was the only one to do that this evening. It wasn’t Nathaniel, but Castiel.

Shaking me head I walk towards the campus. I can’t think that way. It will destroy me.

I run the distance between gate and the dorm. It is too cold outside and I prefer to get tired rather than freeze. My feet hurt and my whole body begs me to rest. The only thing I want now is to slip into bed and fall asleep hoping tomorrow will be better.

The dorm building welcomes me with warmth and a familiar smell of window cleaner. Immediately I feel my muscles relax slightly. I could say a lot about this place, but it has been my home for a few months now, so I'm always happy to come back here. When I finally reach my floor, I notice someone sitting right next to door to my room.

More surprises today? Great.

“Nath?” a raspy voice leaves my throat when I come closer and am able to recognize that person. My heart stops for a second as he gets up and scans my body with his golden eyes. He seems tired and I start to wonder how long he has been sitting there… “What are you doing here?”

“Valerie. I was waiting for you. I-I wanted to see you.” he says quietly while putting his hands into the pockets of light jeans. “Your roommate said you had gone out. She was leaving and she refused to let me wait for you inside.”

I steady my breath as I approach the door with the intention of opening them. Keys must be somewhere in my purse but I have a difficulty trying to find them. Nath watches my every move and I have to really control myself. Otherwise I would probably break down in the middle of this corridor.

He wanted to see me. Heat pours out in my chest at the very thought of words that he said just now. But I cannot give in to him so easily. He hurt me. He threw me out of his life. I can’t just throw myself in his arms just because he came to my dorm.

“Well, I’m glad to see you.” I mutter with a small grin in spite of my thoughts. But still I don’t look at him.

“Really?” shock in his voice mixes with joy which makes me smile even wider. “I surely don’t deserve that smile.”

“You’re right. You do not deserve it.” with one hand searching the purse and the other holding the handle, I send him a quick look. “Look, I don’t know why you came, but I for one, am going to bed.”

Finally, I manage to grasp the keys and take them out from this bottomless abyss. I definitely need to get a bag with compartments.

“Wait, Val, please.” Nathaniel grabs my forearm, but only for a few seconds. When I raise my head to look at him, he pulls back his hand and makes an apologetic face. “Please. I screwed up. I really did. I should have never done what I did. I should have never said what I said.” he moves even closer to me. Although I have heels on, I have to hold my head up to be able to look at his face. “Last Saturday… our date… I haven’t been as happy and carefree for a long time. The last time was probably with you, before you moved away.”

Something in my stomach flips and I feel my legs shaking again. I wasn’t ready for confessions like that. I try to stuck key in the lock without looking at it but I have to admit, I’m terrible at it.

“Nath…”

“I wish all my Saturdays could be like that one. If only I could, I’d be here in front of your door every night.” he takes a deep breath and then goes on. “I want all my weekend belong to you. I want you.”

Dealing with emotions has never been my strong point. I always feel everything twice as hard as others. But now I have the impression that everything that I have been experiencing the last few years has suddenly fallen on my head. I feel how remnants of self-control slowly leave me. Added to this was Nathaniel's suffering and my tiredness. I was almost like a ticking bomb ready to explode.  

But I had to be strong.

“I-I can’t, Nath.” I slowly turn my face away from him to finally open the door to my room. “I am not doing this again. You come back now and you are gonna leave… tomorrow? Or in a week? I am not playing this game. It hurts too much.” my voice turns into a whisper and I don’t know if it’s because of sadness or tiredness or both.

“That won’t happen again.”

“Oh, really? Last time you were so certain that we cannot see each other. What has changed?”

I push the door open, but I do not make any step. This conversation is not over yet.

“It wasn’t my decision.”  his response causes a shudder to pass along my spine. “Someone forced me to.”

“What? Meaning?”

“Val… I can’t--”

“You can’t explain, of course.” I interrupt him sick of this bullshit. “That is exactly why I cannot continue either. Goodnight, Nathaniel.”

Before I manage to enter the room, Nathaniel grabs my shoulders and turns me away sharply. The pain is very visible on his face. I can see how much he fights with himself inside.

“I worked for a huge drug cartel and now they are out to get me.” he says on one exhale still holding me. His skin is warm compared to mine and it makes me feel a bit better. “They are really awful people and they are threatening me.”

A few months I waited for him to finally reveal the truth about his actions. And now, when he does it, it sounds so unlikely that the only thing I can do is look at him with big eyes.

“Do not… Do not bullshit me, Nath. It’s a bit much for me to believe.”

“But it’s true. I screwed up so many times. All these years I made only wrong choices. And now I am worried they will come after people that I care about. After Amber. Or after you. That’s why I pushed you back. Do you really think I want them to be able to use you against me? To hurt you?”

Nathaniel starts rubbing his hands over my naked frozen shoulders. I do not know if he's doing it to make me feel better, or to make himself feel better.

“I don’t know… I don’t know what to say. It just sounds so… unbelievable.”

“When you came back, when I saw you that night in the alley I… I-I remembered that there are people in this world for whom I want to try and be better. But it was too late. Much too late.”

He flings himself to the floor, wrapping his arms around my waist. I feel how his body shakes under the influence of emotions. Tears well up in my eyes.

“Oh God…” I whisper putting one hand in his hair and the other massaging his arm. That is something he used to do to me when I was shattered inside. Maybe it would help him.

“Please. Please let me tell you everything” his voice is muffled by the fabric of my dress, but nevertheless I am able to understand him perfectly.

“Okay, Nath, get up.” I try to help him stand up. “Come inside. We will talk.” I make that decision in a fraction of a second.

He follows me into my room. We do not make eye contact, because if we did, we would both cry.

I take off my heels and throw them into the corner between wardrobe and a wall. My feet are happy to welcome soft carpet and only now do I really feel how frozen and sore they are. Nathaniel closes the door while I put my purse on my desk and then lean on a piece of furniture with my hands crossed on my chest. We are about two meters apart, but I can still feel his cologne and the warmth of his body.

“So…” I say quietly. “Tell me everything.”

And he does.

He tells me about how he got into all this years ago. About how he thought he was smarter, but they really outraged him. He also mentions his parents and quarrels and lack of money. Everything that he says arouses great anxiety in me.

I feel guilty for leaving him. And even if I could not stay, I feel that I could try harder. For him.

Then he says something about his tasks in the cartel and how much they paid him for it. About what he did not to prey on poor people buying these drugs. Inside, I was proud of him, that even in this situation he wanted to do something better than just sitting and watching.

Of course, my first thought is the police, but Nathaniel quickly rejects it. He has his reasons for that. His sister knows everything, and if he goes down, he'll take her with him. Maybe I do not fully understand that, but I try to.

Everything that he says makes my head spin and tears spill down my cheeks. I’m still on my feet only because I lean on the desk. I try to wipe tears so that Nath will not notice them, but judging by his sad eyes I think he did notice a moment ago.

“I'll go now. I do not want to bother you anymore.” he says turning to the door.

“Wait.” I take a few small steps towards him, slowly and calmly. I try not to fall. He turns back to me. “Why did you come here today?”

He takes a deep breath.

“Because I realised you were the only person who made me want to get myself out of this mess. I went home, convinced I had made the right decision, but… Then I perceived that I did not want to live like that.”

“Meaning?”

“Away from you. I could not see you. Talk to you. Make you laugh. You reminded me what it was like to feel carefree. To not worry about anything, for a second, long enough for a kiss.” slight blush appears on his face. And I am probably all red already. “You give me the strength. Like you used to. And I really hope, that this time you won’t let me leave…”

“And I hope you won’t ever leave again.”

“I have nothing to hide anymore.”

“So you won’t ever leave again?” my voice seems higher than usual.

Unexpectedly, Nathaniel takes me in his arms, pressing me strongly against his chest. I embrace his waist and press my head to the place where I hear his heart beat.

“Do you want me?” this question sounds almost bizarre coming from his mouth.

“Yes.” I reply. “And do you want me?”

“Aren’t you afraid of me? Of what I do?” his answering question with a question does not surprise me at all.

‘Well, no.” how could I be afraid of the only person who is so significant to me? “Aren’t you afraid of getting involved in this relationship?”

“I really care about you. You are important to me. I will do everything… anything to protect you. And us.”

I smile broadly at his words. I have wanted to hear them for so long now.

I lift my head up and step on my toes to kiss him. Everything seems to disappear. There is only me, him and the sense of security that I feel while being in his arms. This kiss is slow, passionate and expresses more than any words can. With every move of our lips, he draws me closer and closer. As if he was afraid that I would run away or disappear. But I am not going anywhere and I want to show him that.

So I kiss him until I lose my breath, and when in the end we both have to split up to get some air, I rest my head on his chest. Nathaniel leaves a quick peck on my hair. I feel his warm breath on my skin when he leans over and leaves another kiss next to my ear. I giggle quietly.

We sit on my bed. I don't even think about changing or removing makeup. The next two hours pass us by talking, kissing and laughing and when fatigue begins to take control over me, Nath takes me in his arms again. I fall asleep almost immediately.