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tipsynight0 ¡ 1 day ago
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For the life we never knew
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Parings- Jeff the killer x female reader
Word count - 975
TRIGGER WARNING - Miscarriage, blood, grief, child loss, trauma.
Summary - a quiet night takes a devastating turn.
Authors note - As you can probably tell, I’m not your typical Creepypasta fanfiction writer. My stories lean more toward real-life experiences—raw, messy, and unfiltered. Writing has always been more for me than anything else, a way to process what I can’t always say out loud. Maybe it’s a coping mechanism, maybe it’s just a need to put pain into words.
I know I haven’t updated in a while, and for that, I’m sorry. Life has a way of pulling us under when we least expect it. But for those of you still here, reading and supporting, thank you. It means more than I can express.
I guess I’ve always found comfort in heartbreak—in taking a story and twisting it until it feels real enough to leave a mark. So, as you read this, don’t be afraid to cry, to feel. That’s what it’s meant for. And maybe, when you’re done, we’ll both feel just a little less alone.
Hopefully, I’ll have more for you soon. Until then, take care of yourselves—and try not to cry too much.
Becoming a dad was never on the radar for Jeff. Not for someone like him—a serial killer with bloodstained hands and years of unresolved trauma. Jeff wasn’t the kind of man who would teach his kid how to throw a ball or give them advice on their first crush. Hell, he barely had any idea how to take care of himself. But when Y/N came to him that day, clutching the pregnancy test in trembling hands, terror written all over her face—not the kind of fear he was used to, the kind he relished in—it was different. This fear was raw, uncertain, vulnerable. And for the first time, Jeff felt it too.
The conversation that followed wasn’t pretty. There was shouting, tears, accusations, and a silence so heavy it crushed them both. But somewhere in that mess of emotions, there was a spark—something small and fragile. A seed of hope Jeff never thought he’d feel.
As the days turned into weeks, that seed began to grow. The thought of a child, their child, burrowed its way into Jeff’s cold, damaged heart. He found himself imagining things he never thought possible: a tiny hand gripping his finger, a toothless smile, a giggle that echoed in the halls of the mansion. He didn’t just start to accept it; he started to want it.
The house was alive with a strange excitement. Even the others couldn’t help but marvel at the idea of another child joining them—another innocent soul like Sally. Jack stole prenatal vitamins and a doppler, and Jeff had spent hours with Y/N listening to the faint sound of their baby’s heartbeat. He painted the nursery himself, his hands steady in a way they’d never been before. For once, the chaos of their lives didn’t seem so suffocating.
And then came the night that shattered it all.
Jeff barely stirred when Y/N slipped out of bed. She’d been getting up a lot lately, her small trips to the bathroom almost routine. He was half-asleep when he heard her call out, her voice trembling with something he couldn’t quite place.
“Jeff... come here... something’s wrong.”
The fear in her voice jolted him awake. He stumbled out of bed, heart pounding as he rushed to the bathroom. The sight that met him stopped him cold.
Y/N was sitting on the floor, her hands trembling and slick with blood. It was everywhere���on her thighs, pooling on the tiles, staining her nightshirt. Jeff’s breath hitched, his stomach turning in a way he hadn’t felt since the first time he took a life. Blood was supposed to excite him, but this... this made him want to vomit.
“I’ll... I’ll be back,” he stammered, his voice cracking in a way that felt foreign and wrong. “I’ll get Jack. Don’t move, Y/N. Don’t move.”
He didn’t wait for her reply, didn’t dare look back. He sprinted down the stairs, nearly tripping in his panic. He found Jack in the kitchen, dragging him by the arm before the other man could even ask what was happening. His words tumbled out, frantic and disjointed, but Jack didn’t need an explanation when he saw the scene for himself.
Jack knelt beside Y/N, his usually steady hands trembling ever so slightly as he placed a hand on her shoulder. “Stand up,” he said softly. “I need to see.”
Y/N obeyed, her body shaking as she clung to Jack for support. Jeff stayed rooted to the doorway, his nails digging into the wood as if it could somehow anchor him to reality.
Jack’s expression was grim as he straightened, his voice heavy when he finally spoke. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”
The words hit Jeff like a physical blow. Y/N let out a strangled sob, her knees buckling as Jack caught her and eased her to the floor. Jeff moved without thinking, dropping to his knees beside her and grabbing her hand.
“No,” Jeff muttered, shaking his head. “No, no, no. This—this isn’t happening. Fix it, Jack. Do something.”
Jack looked at him, his hollow eyes filled with something that almost resembled pity. “There’s nothing I can do, Jeff. It’s already happening.”
Y/N’s grip on Jeff’s hand tightened, her face pale and glistening with tears. “Jeff... it’s my fault,” she whispered, her voice breaking.
“Don’t,” he said sharply, his voice cracking. “Don’t you dare say that. This isn’t your fault.”
She sobbed harder, her free hand clutching her stomach as another wave of pain wracked her body. Jeff could only watch, helpless and furious, as the person he cared about most suffered in a way he couldn’t stop.
Time seemed to crawl, every second dragging like a knife through Jeff’s chest. He wasn’t supposed to care like this. He wasn’t supposed to feel this kind of pain. But as Y/N finally passed the tiny, lifeless form of what could have been their child, Jeff felt something inside him shatter.
He stared at the tiny, fragile thing Jack gently took away, his chest heaving as he fought to keep the scream building inside him at bay. Y/N was limp against him now, her strength spent, her sobs quieted into hollow, hitching breaths.
Jeff pressed his forehead to hers, his hand still gripping hers tightly as though letting go would mean losing her too. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “I’m so sorry.”
In that moment, he hated himself more than he ever thought possible. He wasn’t supposed to care, wasn’t supposed to feel this. But as he held Y/N and felt the life drain from the future they’d dared to hope for, Jeff realized that maybe, just maybe, he’d wanted to be a dad after all.
And now, he never would be.
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seraphirism ¡ 5 months ago
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Hello! I hope you’re having a good day and just wanted to let you know that your explanation of chapter 4 was amazing!! If you don’t mind me asking though, who exactly is Falin? Or rather what’s her big schtick? Cause I liked her in the chapter but couldn’t really understand why she is who she is.
hii and thank you so much for liking it (*≧∀≦*)💞!! I go on a tangent when I’m speaking/writing so everything ends up all over the place?
also, I don’t mind at all, in fact, thank you for asking about Falin \(//∇//)\!! I wanted to talk about her so bad (and I decided I was going to make long post about her pretty soon! seeing your ask made me so happy, cause now I have a reason to talk about her!)
[also, anon, I kinda had one thing in my head and it turned into another so I feel like I deviated from what you wanted and turned it into something else? I apologise in advance if this was not what you meant. please let me know if this is what you meant or something else :D!]
spoilers for main story chapter 4, part 4 and 5 are below and trigger warning for breeding, captivity and human trafficking (technically not human but it still applies i guess?)
now, for people who have not read the story or don’t remember it clearly, I’ll briefly go over what happened in the main story revolving asking her, before jumping to what we know about her character and some of my own theories + things I’ve noted about her. unfortunately, we do not have information for why she turned into such a twisted character but I think that might be revealed in the coming chapter since the case of Seiran family has not been wrapped up yet; the investigation is still going on since the Master of the Seiran family is still alive.
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her actions, leading up to her death:
this is meant for those who have not read or do not remember the events revolving her; I’ll wrap it up quickly! in case you have not read my previous explanation about chapter 4 (part 3-5) and are confused, please give it a read!
it begins when the butlers (+muu!) were taking shifts at night in various places inside the Seiran’s palace (doing their guarding duties) when they hear the maids calling out to each other that “she went into labour” or “the child is about to be born, grab [insert necessity]!”
[note: for child, the word used in Japanese by the maids is 子/ko which does not only mean the child of a person but could be the child of an animal too. that was one of the assumptions of the butlers; that the child was a cat/dog’s baby OR that the child could be of another possible (hidden) mistress of the head of the Seiran family.]
but it becomes strange when this happens again, and then again. now, the butlers were suspicious, especially when Falin reacted in an unusual manner, saying she had not heard the maids act like that before heading back quickly, avoiding the subject.
now everything comes to light when:
[this is after the Master of the Seiran family had been kidnapped by mr elf, and Fennesz and Haures were away searching for the Master of the Seiran family.].
Ammon, Boschi, Aruji with Falin at their side are confronted by the sight of elf guy interrogating the Master of the Seiran family.
[note: elf guy’s people (their kind as a whole) are from the West (specifically from the valley regions.). they are governed by Elboa, the green headed elf looking guy with a hood.].
there it’s revealed that the Seiran family had kidnapped the people of elf guy (people of the valley.). Boschi assumed it was for experimentation, like the Sardis family did. In response, when Boschi, in a repulsed manner, makes this remark out loud, Falin says this, gazing at elf guy with fascination:
“Oh my, how rude! I have no interest in such trivialities. Look…(gesturing to elf guy)….at that crystalline skin…those blue eyes…those elegantly shaped ears.”
“I want to keep beautiful things close to me…increase them in number…and share them with others…isn’t that human nature?”
she was the main culprit behind the kidnapping and unlike what the butlers were assuming, it was not for experimentation purposes (like the Sardis) but her desire to possess beautiful “things” and share them with others. not only does she keep the people of mr elf (locked up for her viewing) BUT she wanted to increase their number. now, what was the best way to do that?
breeding. she forced the really beautiful male and female captives to have children together, to produce even more beautiful children for they would be “more desired by clients”. now it’s kinda ambiguous whether she sold only the children or the adults too; but she did have the elf’s people sold to nobles for high prices. that’s the reason for the children being born mysteriously each night but never being seen or heard of.
(we don’t have information about who the nobles were but it could very well be to nobles anywhere. I don’t think their clients were majorly from the East since that would be risky for them. anyhow, i feel like information about who the nobles were will be revealed soon since investigation is still going on into the business.).
that’s how the Seiran family became so rich and influential in the first place (by human trafficking) so much so that even during the (current) wars that plagued the Eastern lands, the people governed by the Seiran family were always doing well, financially, were not impacted by the unsettlement in the East and were extremely fond of the Seiran family and grateful for their rule.
[the scene where Falin is waving and greeting the grateful civilians in carriage with Aruji and Muu becomes kind of unsettling when you think about it; the reason why the civilians could relish in security (financial + food + otherwise) was due to the money the Seiran family earned from trafficking. ]
[note: Seiran family’s “human trafficking” likely started when Falin married into the family (though we don’t know for sure from the main story.). I’m not negating Seiran family’s wealth in any way since they were nobility even 300 years ago, but their sudden wealth in the current years has been likely due to this business.]
after being exposed, the elf guy demands them to hand over his people but Falin says she had all of the “products” burnt on the orders of her husband.
[earlier, Falin’s husband told her in private that he wanted to discontinue this “business” of theirs now because now they had established their power and their kingdom was rich. so he wanted all evidence of their business destroyed. he was especially afraid now, after the Sardis family was exposed, stripped of their titles and now regarded as criminals.]
Aruji confirms that there had been no fire (they would have smelled the scent of such a huge fire or seen evidence of it), proving to elf guy that Falin was lying. She admits after giggling that she would never have her “products” harmed; she merely sent the products with her maids to her parent’s home.
[long story short; elf guy then threatens Falin in an attempt to make her show him where his people were, the huge bell rings (the one signaling angels arrival) and Falin leaves in the heat of the moment. elf guy runs after her, hot on her tail.]
she runs back to her castle, where she sees Seraphim and Cherubim. she is instantly entranced by their appearance, especially after they kill some of her men with their “light powers”.
she asks them to kill her; her ephemeral life was going to come to end someday, hence she’d rather it come to end with her last sight and the manner of her death both being beautiful. [her words, roughly.]
[note: she wanted to die by their light powers.]
Seraphim (after being weirded out 😭) agrees with a smirk. then he proceeds to stab her fatally (because he deemed her impertinent and arrogant for talking this way to an angel 😭). she slowly bleeds out as Seraphim and Cherubim leave with the cage full of elf guy’s people with them.
[elf’s people were seen being taken by the maids of Falin (by Cherubim and Seraphim above). after they saw the cage being transported, they killed her maids and men, and took the captives (the elf’s people) who offered no resistance since all the time in captivity had made them apathetic and out-of-it. Cherubim will likely use the captives for experimentation :(]
there, elf guy arrives; he had been waiting behind in the shadows, unable to step out because he knew the intelligent angels were stronger than the average angels and he wasn’t sure he could win in a fight against them. there, he sees Falin, lying in a pool of her blood, her face pointing to a mirror in the room, gazing at herself (covered in blood.).
elf guy (almost pitying her because he planned on killing her in a quick manner, not in the torturous way she was currently dying) asks her to look into his eyes. she looks at him before he kills her with one quick attack of his sword.
[he also almost pitied her for the fact her last sight was herself covered in blood and not something beautiful; beautiful things were something she had dedicated herself to, all her life. that’s why he asked her to look at him so her last sight could be him (someone she called extremely beautiful and showed a desire to possess), fulfilling her last wish.].
that’s how she dies, her last sight being “something” beautiful, right as she desired all this time.
now, with this out of the way, I’ll only be focusing on her.
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Falin; her character and all the known information about her.
so Falin or ファリン was the Mistess of the Seiran family: the wife of the Master of the Seiran family. she was originally a noble woman from a small aristocratic family located in a mountainous region in the East; her family did not have much influence and it’s not known how she ended up marrying the Head of the Seiran family.
the first thing we learn about Falin, comes when Boschi notices her and remarks, in complete horror that she looks exactly like his mother. he goes further to add that even her voice was exactly like his mother’s; only her personality differed as his mother was timid by personality.
[you can just imagine the extent of how similar they looked for Boschi to feel so uncomfortable in her presence; unfortunately we have no description of how Boschi’s mother looked like to pin down Falin’s appearance. all we know is that Boschi’s mother’s hair had a beautiful lustre to it and was likely long. Boschi’s hair colour is something he inherited from his father so Falin’s hair colour isn’t blue. we can also guess since Boschi’s mother had a frail physique, Falin also had a similar one; she was also likely not too tall either and had a slim/skinny build.]
she married into the Seiran family. she is a descendant of a relative of Boschi’s mother; (Boschi said so himself). while his mother did die in the fire, she had relatives remaining in her village. Falin is a descendant of one such relative — this would explain her eerie similarity to his mother.
she was initially fascinated by Boschi’s appearance because “he is beautiful like Fubuki” — both are cold, strong and have one eye. [this made me crack up 😭 I’m sorry.]. we later learn from Finley that there were rumours that she had actually proposed to Fubuki a long time ago (to marry him) but was rejected by him.
there comes my next point! i think most fans got the impression that she was really young (like I did), being around the age of 25–30 but I believe this is wrong. we know from her interaction with Aruji and Muu (where she was amused when Muu called her young) that she is a bit older (not calling her old 😭) but her age may be (from the way she recalls her past experiences as the time she was “young”) around 30-45. I want to push it further from 30 but with the current canon content, I want to be careful just in case i end up wrong.
[also Boschi saw his mother for the first time when she was around her 40’s; I doubt someone in their 20’s could look so startling alike to someone in their 40’s. Boschi would have then added then that Falin looked like a more younger version of his mother: but he didn’t.
he said that their face, builds and voices were exactly the same; he could have added the age part too.]
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A bit of background about East:
now i want to focus on East a bit and the standing women have/had:
women of the noble families in the East are regarded with little to no importance. they’re merely seen important for their ability to bear a potential male heir. Boschi further explained that they have no power or influence, live in seclusion, make no public appearance and have no political power (despite being mistresses of powerful noble families.).
an example of this is Bosci’s own mother. she was the third wife of his father, had no political power or influence and till her death lived in complete seclusion. because she hid the fact that she had a son, so a child-less wife was not important.
[the first wife killed the third wife and her son, after news of her son being born came out. the reason why the first wife had so much power to begin either is because she had a son earlier than the other wives and wasn’t willing for the other wives to have a chance for their son/s to be potential heirs.]
so for power, the women in noble families could and would sink pretty low.
now, with this in mind, let’s proceed!
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Falin’s role and how she stood out:
Falin breaks many of the stereotypes that we have of the Eastern noble women in akuneko.
first of all, she’s the first and only wife of the master of the Seiran family (from what we know).
that’s extremely strange, especially considering the noble men from the east so far have been depicted to have more than one wife. [polygamy was common; Boschi says so himself. monogamy, on the other hand, was uncommon.]
what’s also strange is that she has no known children. she’s been married to the head of the Seiran family for quite a while yet from their interaction, the topic of children never came up. [keep in mind, this is set in a land and time where women are only regarded important for bearing a potential male heir. wars are still rampant and there are new noble families attempting to rise to power. if she couldn’t have children, her husband would have another wife already. but there’s a split chance her husband cannot have children, but that fact could have been used to oust him from power by a relative of his, from the Seiran family already.].
[so it’s unknown why they don’t have children or aren’t seeking to have them in a war struck region where male heirs are absolutely necessary for power.]
secondly, she had more authority/power (not on first glance) than her husband, the actual head of the family.
we know she (very likely) started the business of human trafficking; from how attached she was to it and how reluctant she was of letting go of it. she likely posed the business to her husband as a means of securing more influence and power in the Eastern lands (which is plagued by wars for power) but in actuality it was for her own twisted desire for “beautiful things”.
her husband acquiesced to her whims very easily. this can be seen by when brought up the subject of ending the business and destroying the “evidence”, she quickly managed to dissuade him with a little assuaging.
she even admitted in front of Aruji, Boschi, Ammon, her husband and elf guy that she manipulated her husband to follow her whims in this business.]
one other incident, which proves this is, when the butlers were told not to guard the master and mistress of the Seiran family (new guards of their own were assigned), she immediately went up to her husband and subtly hinted that she was “afraid” the new guards would not be able to protect her husband as well as the devil butlers (who have quite a reputation for their strength).
in actuality, she was not concerned about his safety (or even her own, to be honest.). she wanted the butlers by her side so she can gaze at their “beautiful faces “ while she went about her day. she did end up accomplishing that as her husband had the devil butlers reassigned only for her protection.
her influence over her husband can also be seen in when she manages to rope him into allowing her to dine with Aruji [instead of dining with him], in hopes of seeing the butlers from close enough (as they would be guarding Aruji right in their room) since she wasn’t getting enough opportunities to see them from close enough.
[it’s also interesting that her husband said that the devil butlers were invited to the Seiran’s residence because he was concerned for her safety, not his. he says this as a reminder to Falin, in one instance, (I guess trying to keep her in check because he was a bit suspicious of her and her intentions.).
so did she possibly manipulate her husband into inviting the butlers? it’s canon (in aknk’s story), that the devil butlers (while they are detested by people all around the world) are well known for both their beauty and strength. since we know she wasn’t concerned for her own life, could it be she invited them after hearing talks of their looks?]
moreover, unlike the noble women of her time, she was extremely confident and sly (in all matters, with all people, even strangers.).
ignoring her husband now and focusing on her interaction with the other characters:
when she saw Boschi for the first time, she approached him confidently, even inquiring about how he received the injury on his arm and eye. his attempts to reject her questions (rudely too) only brought her satisfaction and made her even more curious and him.
in the incident where she dined with Aruji, she had managed to convince Haures too, into allowing her to go inside Aruji’s room without informing them prior. and Haures genuinely seemed unable to deal with Falin and her persistent personality.
she switches her approach too, depending on who she’s dealing with: with her husband, it’s gentle, concerned and complacent; with the butlers, it’s persistent and clever.
even when she was revealed to be carrying out that business, she was calm and amused by Ammon and Boschi regarding her with hatred. even after that, she made one last further request to Aruji to capture elf guy in return for anything Aruji wanted (which they rejected.).
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Extra:
I want to talk about one more incident where I loved the writer’s subtlety in showing Falin’s character:
it was when she wanted to have breakfast with Aruji instead of her husband; the reason she states for this was: that being surrounded by fully armed, “faceless men” (the guards) would make her not enjoy her breakfast. and that’s when she remembered the “faces of the butlers” (with whom she would be able to enjoy her food, since she liked their faces).
she could have said she wanted the company of Aruji or the butlers over the guards, or remembered them because she likes spending time with them or that they’re more amusing; any excuse could have passed. but she said she remembered the faces of the butlers and thought she would enjoy her food better with them in her presence.
[by the way, this was after the head of the guards was changed because the original one was injured; the temporary head of the guards made it a rule to wear armour that covered their faces as well i think?].
Lastly, it’s interesting how Falin, a mere mistress of the Seiran family has a name (despite the eastern noble women being put down in terms of power and influence) yet her husband was only “Master of the Seiran Family” throughout the story — all in all, to show how irrelevant he was and how he had no power or a role in the story, besides his title.
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my own thoughts:
I mentioned in my previous post that I would like it if the writers could give more focus to the Seiran family, in particular, Falin.
how did a woman from a small aristocratic family end up marrying the master of a (relatively) bigger noble family and rope the master into following her desires? (if she did start the business of human trafficking) how did she convince the master of Seiran family?
also, what started her obsession with beauty? considering how rooted it is in her, did it start from her childhood? did her parents engrain it in her? [I can come up with loose reasons for almost every question in my mind but my mind goes blank for why Falin could have been so obsessed with beautiful people. she didn’t show much regard for riches either so why beauty of all subjects?]
(another thought that’s been on my mind) is that the killing of Boschi’s family was something well known in the aknk world; Berrien affirms this as well. so it’s unlikely that Falin’s ancestor (the one related to Boschi’s mother) did not know of the killing of Boschi’s mother.
how were Falin’s family okay with her marrying into the Seiran family when they were responsible for killing her family just 300 years ago? it’s unlikely they have forgotten it because (call me delusional) but I think they do keep records of everything (since the Eastern lands in aknk are loosely based off feudal japan.)
Or wait ✨! what if they (Falin’s parents) made her marry the Master of Seiran family because they believed it would be a good proposal for her (Seiran family being rich) and they could benefit from Seiran family’s riches too if Falin marries into them (their past bad blood be damned)?
and Falin knew of what the Seiran family did to hers years ago, which is why she doesn’t love or show any regard for the Master of the Seiran family ✨?
[I’ll shut up; these were mostly my own thoughts from what canon content I could scavenge. but I think even if this isn’t the truth (what I’ve proposed), it’s pretty close the truth. so I’ll settle with that.]
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anyway, that’s it! i’ll pipe down now but that’s what I could piece together. please let me know if i got a fact wrong (as the length of the story does make it easy to confuse parts of it.)
i hope we learn more about Falin, her childhood and what led to her character becoming the way it is! if they don’t, I’m coming for studio wasabi ✨! have a wonderful day, anon (*^▽^*)!! i hope this was a good read!
and if there’s something you all want to add into what I’ve said, propose an alternative idea to what I’ve said, or correct me in something I said, please comment below or send me an ask. i don’t wish for incorrect information to be passed around, especially from my own mouth.
have a good day everyone! I love discussing the story content of aknk so feel free to send me asks anytime (*^▽^*)! please pray for me, (if you’re someone that prays) because my exam result is coming out tomorrow morning 😭)
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ganondoodle ¡ 2 years ago
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something thats been driving me crazy is the constant worry that i am somehow using harmful stereotypes for the characters i write
like i am unfortunately white tm and me also being autistic and queer does not erase that obviously, im always trying to educate myself as best as i can, yet i feel like im always doing something wrong
its less of a problem when im working with the normal forms of hylia and demise since they are not really human, and though their humanoid disguises technically are still not human they do represent what they might have looked like if they grew up as one; i didnt want to make demises form too dark since i felt like it would perpetuate that stereotype of dark skin = evil which is already not great about ganondorfs character design, but didnt want to make him too light since i felt it would erase that part of his connection to ganondorf altogether and make it all the worse, but then again my demise isnt actually that evil, hes good at heart, so making him too light then would be even worse bc it would imply that light = good thing again
for hylia im even more anxious about it bc i intentionally gave her very dark skin to kinda subvert that light = good thing with zelda (tho in my AU the gods are not good and hylia isnt actually as loyal to them as it may seem bc she knows that.. which i feel complicates things just further; and also light an dark is just a very good contrast aesthetically?) but then i also like to intentionally make characters rather ?gender? but then i worry her being somewhat masculine would also be sth harmful bc i know black women are often treated as inherently less feminine .. which isnt my intention at all (tho my hylia .. doesnt rly have a gender? idk many characters i like to write/design dont have anything specific, like what more do you need than knwoing the right pronouns to call them?? qnq) her being rather cold and ruthless also feels like im doing something bad somehow
then theres the whole sexualization worry, i dont know if im doing that in a bad way bc honestly i just like .. drawing ...bodies? aesthetically? like yes they are very sexy but also wheres the line, am i somehow overstepping it without knowing?? how can i recognize what is normal 'finding certain things pretty or sexy' and what isnt??
so far i dont remeber anyone pointing anythign out as bad which im taking as a sign that i cant be doing that badly .. hopefully, maybe all this is a very stupid thing to worry about and its obvious to everyone else but i am so god damn afraid of doing something even slightly questionable and being hunted down for it (probably bc similar happened to me when i was a teen and it was about an absolut non issue, literally, so even the thought of doing something actually bad is mind boggling to me bc that other thing nearly cost me my life and i literally dont know how i survived and i would 100% not if it happened again..)
this is probably a very chronically online thing too but hoenstly i needed to get it out of my head for once
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valkwise ¡ 4 months ago
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Hi! Today I want to introduce you to my husband and I's dear friend, Abdelrahman Hajjaj.
This campaign is verified by the Butterfly Effect Project. Click here, find the "Verified Campaigns" tab, and check line #947.
Abod is 34 years old, and lives in Al Maghazi camp in Gaza. He is raising money to evacuate himself, his wife Aya, his daughter Leen, his parents, and one of his brothers. Leen was born premature and needs special care. His mother has blood cancer, his father uses a colostomy bag, and his brother is diabetic. Abod is desperate to leave Gaza and build a better life for his family elsewhere.
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Abod's life is extremely dangerous. Something I especially want to highlight is the condition of his house. He lives on the top floor of his building, which has no doors and is missing walls. Thin blankets are the only thing separating him and his family from the elements, and the occupation's ammunition.
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His daughter Leen just turned one on September 2nd, and she's able to crawl around more every day. What should be an exciting milestone also comes with a lot of dread. Abod has built barriers around the house to try and prevent Leen from crawling where it's most dangerous, but anyone who has young children knows it can be difficult to keep them out of trouble. Parents should not have to worry about their baby falling off the edge of their house, three stories to the ground below. Yet, this is just another everyday terror for Abod and Aya.
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Abod and my husband are very close. They talk for hours every single day, sharing their hopes and fears with each other. A couple of weeks ago, gfm flagged Abod's campaign for verification, something you have probably seen happen to a lot of Gazan campaigns (this often leads to them being arbitrarily shut down). My husband assisted Abod with gfm's intense verification process, and thankfully it was successful. His campaign is also finally connected to a friend's bank account so he can receive funds.
Abod's campaign has not received much attention since it was created in June, and donations have been very slow. Abod does not have much hope for his campaign's success. Please help my husband and I prove him wrong.
He has only reached €11,784 of his €30,000 goal
Please share this post, and give generously and consistently to Abod's campaign. Even small donations add up quickly, so please don't hesitate!
I'm mailing mystery prints to anyone in the US who gives at least $10 (or the euro equivalent), and if you donate any amount and send me an email, I'll send you some comic PDFs (more info here).
Thank you for reading. Here is a video of Leen and her grandfather's cat :-)
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esoteric-goblin ¡ 1 year ago
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on worldbuilding, and what people think is going on
there is one facet of fantasy worldbuilding that is, to me, the most interesting and essential but i don't see it come up in worldbuilding guides or writing prompts or anything, and that is the question of:
what do the inhabitants of your world believe about how the world works, and how are they wrong? a lot of fantasy media will set up their cosmology, gods, magic systems, planar systems, concepts of the afterlife, &c., and proceed as though the inhabitants of the world know and understand them.
from someone whose entire academic career is focused on studying human culture in various regions and time periods, with a focus on belief systems (religion, occultism, mythology, folklore): that sort of worldbuilding is unrealistic and missing out on so much fun.
people are always seeking new understanding about how the world works, and they are mostly wrong. how many models of the solar system were proposed before we reached our current one? look at the long, turbulent history of medicine and our various bizarre models for understanding the human body and how to fix it. so many religions and occult/magical traditions arise from people disagreeing with or adapting various models of the world based on new ideas, methods, technologies. many of them are wrong, but all of them are interesting and reflect a lot about the culture, beliefs, values, and fears of the people creating/practising them.
there is so much more to the story of what people believe about the world than just what is true.
to be clear: i think it's fine and important for the author to have a coherent explanation for where magic comes from or who the gods are, so they can maintain consistency in their story. but they should also be asking what people in the world (especially different people, in different regions/nations and different times) think is happening when they do magic, or say a prayer, or practise medicine, or grieve their dead. it is a rich vein for conflict between individuals and nations alike when two models of the world disagree. it is fascinating how different magic systems might develop according to different underlying beliefs.
personally, i think it is the most fun to spawn many diverse models of the world, but give none of them the 'right' answer.
(bonus points if you also have a thriving academic system in the world with its own theory, research, and discourse between factions! as an academic, it is very fun to imagine fictional academic debate over the topics i'm worldbuilding. sometimes i will be working out details for some underlying mechanic of the world and start imagining the papers being written by scholars researching it)
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aurorawritestoescape ¡ 1 month ago
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HARDER THAN YOU THINK
Boss!Joel Miller x f!reader || 4,7k
Written together with @milla-frenchy
Summary: It’s your first day at work and you feel nervous. But what can go wrong if your boss is your dad’s best friend, a person you’ve known and trusted for years?
Tw: 18+ mdni, smut, DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT, NON CON, Dbf!Joel, boss!Joel, dark!Joel, power imbalance, blackmail, age gap (reader is in her early 20s, Joel is in his late 40s), oral (f), pussy slapping, use of a sex toy, degradation, unprotected piv, gangbang, creampies. Reader wears a skirt.
A/n: @milla-frenchy and I wrote this story for @romanarose ‘s Dead Dove December. Thank you for this event, celebrating dark fic, Roman❤️ Milla, baby, it’s always a pleasure to write with you! ILYSM🫂💖
Heed the warnings! If any of this makes you uncomfortable, do not pursue reading. We are not responsible for the content you consume. This is not for everyone and that's okay. We don't condone the actions of the characters.
MILLA’S MASTERLIST || KATE’S MASTERLIST
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Day one at your first job started horribly. You overslept, got in a traffic jam and arrived at the office panting and apologizing. Fortunately, your boss, Mr Miller, didn’t tell you off for your tardiness. Instead he greeted you with a wide, most charming smile. You’ve known him for a few years, him being your dad’s good friend and his employer as well as yours now.
Mr Miller was a successful businessman and your parents owed everything to his generosity and kindness. He helped your father out when your family was about to lose the house and your dad always talked highly of his ‘best bud’. You’ve been calling him Joel all these years, but wishing to show respect at the workplace, you decided to call him Mr Miller.
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Now you’re attending a company meeting in a spacious conference room, taking bullet points of the discussion on your tablet. Mr Miller is sitting at the head of the desk, leaning comfortably in his chair, his thick thighs spread, piercing eyes narrowed. His perfectly tailored blue suit which probably costs more than your future year salary accentuates his broad powerful frame. Throwing glances at him from time to time, you can’t help but admire the way the fabric stretches over his arms and shoulders. You’ve never thought about Joel like that, he was much older than you, but it was hard to deny how handsome he was.
Joel is listening to an employee’s report, pouting his lips from time to time. Knowing him quite well, you read his face easily, so it’s evident to you that he’s not pleased with what she’s telling him. Joel’s always been nice and kind to you and your parents, but right now you feel like a volcano is about to erupt.
“Are you happy with all this, sweet cheeks?” He asks but doesn’t let the woman reply. "I’m definitely not. I hope I won't hear these numbers ever again. Or you're gonna lose your job in a heartbeat. I doubt your family will be happy with you getting fired. You just had a baby, right?”
The woman swallows loudly and nods.
“Get your shit together!” Joel barks and the employee looks terrified. You feel bad for her. You’ve never seen Joel be so mean before but that's probably part of the character trait that goes with his job.
When the meeting is over, some people leave but three men stay behind with Joel, still chatting to each other. You get up, ready to sneak out, but your boss stops you at the door, calling your name.
“Sorry, I thought the meeting’s over”, you explain, coming up to him with an apologetic smile.
“Yeah, the main part’s done but we have something extra on our agenda today.”
Joel gets up and walks over to one of the cabinets. He takes something out of a drawer and puts it in the pocket of his suit pants. You raise your brows with a silent question and he turns his face to the managers,
“Gentlemen! Today is this young lady’s first day at our company and I’d like you to give her a warm welcome.”
You feel overwhelmed when all the attention is focused on you but, fearing to seem rude or disrespectful, you turn to the men and smile nervously, fumbling with your fingers. You wonder what Joel put in his pocket. You didn't expect to receive a gift on your first day, and you don’t know how to thank him properly.
The men hum approvingly but soon you feel uneasy noticing their eyes slide down your body and take you in with something more than simple curiosity. One of them smirks and your face falls. Fortunately, Joel steps up to you and his wide smile relaxes you a little. Knowing him for so long, you feel that he has your back. He takes your hand and holds it in his big warm palm.
“Sweetheart, we have a tradition in our company. We call it “Initiation”.
“W—What is it?” you mumble, smiling and blinking at him with confusion, while your stomach churns. You hope he won’t ask you to give a speech of some kind. You’d die of stage fright.
Joel explains, “Some of us gather here to celebrate our new employee and I’m happy that today it is you.“
Joel inches closer and you instinctively take a step back but he pulls you to him gently yet with unyielding determination.
“Usually one of our top managers does it, but of course, with you it had to be me. Also some of these gentlemen sent me messages during the meeting… Seems that they want to take part, now that they saw you.”
His face is inches from yours and he lowers his voice to tell you, “to be specific, we all are going to celebrate you and your body. Teach you some new things while we’re at it, too.”
Your gaze darts between his darkening eyes as you open and close your mouth like a fish out of water. You can’t comprehend what he’s saying but your instinct is screaming for you to run.
Joel gently cups your cheek and turns to the other men in the room, “she’s adorable.” With that he places his hands on your hips, and mumbling “c’mon”, moves you to the head of the desk.
“Joel, what are you…?” Your voice is shaky, your palms placed on his broad chest push him off you but he’s too strong and soon your ass is perched up on the surface, your back turned to the other men.
“Joel, please, what are you doing?” you mumble as panic rises in your chest.
“Shh, we’re just gonna have some fun, you and me at first, then I'll let the others join us.”
He looks behind you, and you hear the other men react.
“Fuck yeah.”
“I think I will.”
“Give it to her, boss.”
You hear their words and you start to understand what’s happening. Or rather, you start realizing what your dissociated mind was trying to hide.
“Joel… You’re scaring me…” you stammer, eyes wide.
“Fear is a good thing. It means I'm in control. And I want control over you."
Now you feel Joel’s hands rubbing your thighs, covered by tights, slithering up and under the hem of your skirt, while his gaze is set on your chest.
“No, Joel, please,” you plead, searching for his eyes, hoping to keep his attention on you, break the spell that turned these people into wild animals, turned this office into a cage that you can’t escape from. Trying to make him come back to his senses and remind him that it's you, the person he's known for so long, that he is your father's friend, who you thought would protect you from all dangers, if he had to.
But his eyes remain black, cold. The more you beg, the brighter an unhealthy spark shines in them. As if he likes it, likes you begging.
“You’re my dad’s friend, don’t do this to me,” you whine, overwhelmed by his big body caging yours against the desk, terrified to your core at the realization of what he’s about to do to you.
“Yes, you’re right,” he stops, giving you a glimpse of hope, and looks into your eyes. “Your dad’s a great guy but he has a big flaw. He has this pretty little thing for a daughter.”
Your heart breaks when you hear him, your hope is dead.
Joel leans closer and you pull away but he grabs the back of your neck and holds you still, brushing your lips with his.
“If he only knew how much I want to stretch your little holes. And you know me, baby,” he pecks your lips and whispers, “I always get what I want.”
The men behind you chuckle, loving this display of power. The smell of Joel’s perfume hits your nose and your head spins for a second as part of you still struggles to understand what’s happening. You feel tears well up in your eyes.
Your new boss, a man you’ve known for years, wants to fuck you in front of other people on your first day here. You try to make your mind work, get you out of the situation.
“I’ll tell my dad. I’ll tell everyone,” you cry out, making your voice firmer, but Joel just laughs, enveloping you in his tight embrace. To your horror you hear the sound of the chairs moving behind you and then footsteps. You’re surrounded now.
“If you start yapping, sweetie, you and your dad will lose your jobs in a second and I’ll make sure no one ever hires you both.”
His voice is calm, his breathing steady, as if he were telling you the most mundane things in the world, and you shiver.
“Besides, your dad owes me a lot of money. Your family will lose everything.” He searches for your widened eyes and whispers, “you work for me now so it means I own you.”
Suddenly his lips latch onto your neck. His hold is too tight but the kiss is slow and gentle.
“No, no,” you start sobbing and Joel pulls away and takes your face between his big hands.
“Honey, calm down, imagine there’s only you and me here. No one else, uh?” His eyes are obsidian and full of lust and you understand that you won’t get out of this. He will have you.
“Please, Joel, I don’t want to…“
“But you do, baby, you want me,” he kisses your cheek. “You want my big cock in your little pussy. I’m gonna make you feel so good, baby.”
He drags his stubble over your cheek and you whimper when his hand snakes between your thighs.
“You really think I haven't noticed the way you look at me, the clothes you wear, when I have lunch at your parents’?”
“What? No!!”
“Shh…” he cuts you, brushing your lips with his finger. “You wanna get fucked by a man older than you. A man who will give it to you good.”
Through the material of your tights and panties you feel his hand caress your folds and you close your eyes shut, trying to escape the horror of the situation.
"Girls your age want that. A mature man,” he adds.
You mewl a quiet “no” again and he uses the moment to kiss you and push his tongue past your lips. With one hand keeping you close and the other gently massaging your pussy, Joel claims your mouth, licking into it, swallowing your soft cries.
As soon as he parts from you, your hands push him away but his strong physique overpowers you in seconds. He grabs your wrists and makes you lie down on the desk. You’re pressed to the wooden surface by his heavy body as his breath fans your cheek when he growls, “Don’t fight it. It’ll be my way or bad way, baby. Choose wisely.”
In your peripheral vision you notice the men next to the desk, one on the left and two on the right. Like hyenas they are waiting for their turn when the main predator is done with the prey.
You begin thrashing around on the desk and Joel slightly lifts his torso but holds you down with his hand wrapped around your neck. You freeze as panic grips your heart. He’s not squeezing it but the threat is swimming in his blown out eyes.
He smirks when you stop moving. “Good girl. Made the right choice.”
Joel straightens up, his figure looming over you, and then starts pulling up your skirt. You try to stop his hands but in vain.
“Let’s see what we have here. White lace. Fuck, it’s hot, baby. Innocence looks good on you. I know you’re not a virgin though,” he laughs and continues, “I remember a boy used to come to your bedroom all the time. Your old man was scared that you’d get pregnant. Fuck, I wanted to kill that little shit for touching you.“
You take a sharp breath, terrified of how long his obsession with you has lasted.
“I know you’re single now. It’s good. Now you have me. I’ll fulfill all your needs, baby. And will fill all your holes.”
With that he rips your tights between your legs, and you squeal scared to death. You try to slide off the desk but he presses his forearm over your belly, not letting you move away.
You hear the murmur of the others, watching you sob and fight the man twice bigger than you like it’s some twisted show.
When Joel grabs your hips to keep you in place, you turn your head, pleading eyes darting between the men but their expressions scare you. There’s not a trace of sympathy on their faces, not a chance that this vile group will help you.
With tears streaming down your cheeks you look back between your spread legs and find Joel’s hungry gaze there. He’s sneering at you, noticing your fruitless attempt to seek assistance from his employees.
“What’s that, baby? Looking for anyone to call an HR? He’s over there. Say hi, Steve.”
You hear a gruff voice somewhere from behind you.
“Hi, sweetie.”
“Aww, isn’t he nice?” Joel mocks and dread spreads in your chest. There’s no way out. You’re trapped. Your only hope is the man you thought to be a friend.
“Please, Joel. Stop. I won’t tell anyone. Let me go.” Your voice is barely audible, you sound pathetic, and Joel’s face softens. His brows knit together as he looks between your legs and talks while his fingers slowly pull your panties to the side.
“I think I’ve made a mistake.”
You gasp when his fingers graze your exposed folds and try to close your legs but he’s holding you securely.
“I haven’t explained your position in this company yet. It will help you to understand what’s happening and accept it.” His fingers stroke your seam and then push inside between your folds, leaving you shocked and breathless.
“From now on you’re my office whore. I tell you to suck, you suck, I tell you to bend over - you do exactly that.”
His voice is gruff and cold, eyes focused on the place where his fingers swirl around your hardening clit and you squeeze your eyes closed, fighting the fire in your core that’s burning brighter with every second of his caress.
“She loves it, your pretty pussy,” Joel smiles, looking up at you, “do you hear how wet she’s getting for me? You should relax, and let your body take what it wants. Stop fighting it, baby.”
He sinks two thick digits into your soft hole and you tighten your muscles, eyes wide, surprised by a heat spreading through your body.
You hear it too. When Joel begins pumping his fingers in and out of you, lewd squelching noises reach your ears, the sign of your body surrendering to his horrible act. A moan crawls up your throat and you muffle it with the back of your hand.
A sharp flick of Joel’s fingers lands on your clit and you cry out.
“Don’t. Don’t hide it. Wanna hear you enjoying it, little slut. I wouldn’t make my cock wait if I didn’t wanna hear some sweet moans from you.”
His hands leave your pussy and he places his palms on your inner thighs, spreading them wider.
“Now— Let’s have a taste.”
You watch him lower his head to your cunt and he licks a stripe between your wet folds from your clenching hole to your sensitive clit and sucks on it for a few seconds. Your back arches involuntarily.
“Delicious,” he mumbles, wet lips against your folds, and the vibrations send shivers down your spine.
You want to hate the sensation his mouth is giving you, but your whole body treacherously buzzes when his hot tongue laps away your slick. Joel kisses your pussy, his gentleness is a striking contrast to the situation. He’s eating you out to make you come, hungry to claim your pleasure as well, and you grit your teeth, fighting it with all your being.
He feels you holding back and growls before focusing all of his attention on your puffy clit, flicking it and rubbing it with his tongue, sucking it in between his teeth, and you can’t help but explode under his ministrations. You begin shaking against the desk, and through the sound of your heart pounding in your ears you hear cheers and clapping from the heartless audience.
“Good job, boss!”
“What a slut!”
“You’re the man!”
Their reaction makes your heart shutter into pieces.
Joel gives his employees his million dollar smile, pride lighting up his dark eyes, and absentmindedly rubs his hands over your thighs still partially covered by tights, ripped at the crotch.
He gets up from the chair and when you try to close your legs, he yanks you to the edge again, pushing his hips between your thighs.
Joel slowly unbuckles his belt with one hand and unzips his suit pants, talking to you, “I thought about asking you out on a date, honey. Making you my girlfriend.”
He chuckles and pulls his boxers down.
“Could be nice. You, waiting for me at home.”
His cock springs free and you feel even more scared if it’s even possible. His manhood is huge, long and thick, bigger than your ex boyfriend’s for sure. He holds it at the base and continues, “you’d greet me with a home-cooked meal and a wet pussy.”
You know what he’s about to do and all your being rises in protest so you slap his hand off and slide off the desk in a fast motion.
“Hold her!” Joel barks and a few pairs of hands grab you and push you down. Your back hits the desk and someone’s holding your wrists over your head, their hands keeping you still, at the same time gliding over exposed parts of your body - your neck, your chest, a slither of your naked belly.
Joel doesn’t stop them. His eyes are fixed on your bare cunt, glistening with the signs of your body’s betrayal.
A sharp slap lands on your mound and sends a bolt of pain through your body, and you squeal.
“Don’t do it again, naughty girl. Or I’ll let these heathens fuck your ass raw.”
You sob, trying to ease the steel grip on your wrists. Through tears in your eyes, you see Joel bring the head of his stiff cock to your pussy and in a second you feel him push it in, slowly, but not for the sake of your comfort. Only for his enjoyment.
His head falls back and he groans, “fuckk, she’s tight. You can’t find a pussy like that in an escort.”
Joel looks down at you with a hazy smile and you plead for him to stop but he ignores you and thrusts into your core. He takes out what’s in his pocket and brings his hand close to your stuffed cunt. You hear a “buzz”, when he turns on a bullet vibe.
“No, Joel, please…” you cry.
“I want you to come on my cock too. And with this little helper, I’m sure you will, baby.”
He begins rolling his hips, pushing his fat cock in and out of your dripping pussy. You whine, feeling your walls spread around his girthy member and your belly is heaving with a mixture of fear and arousal. Meanwhile Joel starts fucking you faster, talking to you like there’s no one else in the room.
“Your dad would mind if we started going out but who gives a shit? I could just throw some money his way. Money can buy everything.”
He winks at you and you sob, sliding up and down the desk with each mighty thrust.
“But — It’s not the main problem. I spend most of the time here. I work hard���Aahhh— and it’s nice to fuck someone between the meetings, right, guys?”
You hear sounds of agreement around you and squeeze your eyes shut, scared to see the faces of the monsters around you.
Joel’s cock is rhythmically brushing your g spot and you hate that behind the horror there’s pleasure, nauseating and terrifying, but pleasure nonetheless. Joel tilts his hips and you cry out when he grazes something ecstatic inside your core.
“You gonna come again, honey?” he coos at you and the pet name he used so many times before, visiting your father, cuts your heart with a sharp blade.
A river of fresh tears rolls down your face but your misery is not noticed by Joel who explains, after a loud grunt, “office affairs take too much time and effort. But you. You’d be perfect as my pretty cum dumpster.”
With that he grabs your sides, nails digging into your soft skin, and starts snapping his hips into you, violating your pussy with his fat cock.
“Fuck, gonna come soon. Pussy’s too good. I’m gonna have so much fun with you.”
The men around you cheer again. Joel presses the vibrator to your clit and you whine, your walls clamp around his manhood and it sends him over the edge. With a loud grunt he begins spilling his hot cum into your pulsating pussy, pumping you more and more, pushing his cock deeper, while holding you with the iron grip of his hands.
You start sobbing again feeling the warmth spread deep in your core and it freezes your heart with another terror. You’re not on the pill.
Joel stays buried inside you for some time. You are so shocked that you don't react. You ignore his cock pulsating inside you. Ignore its last twitches. Until reality hits you and you cry harder. Your body betrayed you. Joel betrayed you.
“Joel, please… let me go.”
He finally pulls out and you feel some of his cum slide to your ass. You try to sit up but he grabs your wrists in his hands, keeping you down on the desk, leaning over you. His hazy gaze fixed on yours.
“Not so fast baby… we’re not gonna waste all this cum, are we? I want these men to remember who you belong to and fuck it back into you.”
You realize with shock that he really intends to throw you to them.
“Steve? You worked so hard this month. Enjoy your reward.”
Looking down at you, he adds, “come on, baby, be a good girl. Steve deserves it. And we already know you're a little slut. You clenched so hard on my cock, mmm?” He wipes away a tear running down your cheek with his thumb and steps away.
You try to close your legs but Joel clicks his tongue.
“No, no, no. I made myself clear, didn't I? Jim, didn’t I make myself clear?”
“Yes, boss, very clear.”
“If you're difficult, your father can say goodbye to his income. To his job. Your parents almost got divorced that time, didn't they?” His dark eyes are fixed on you. Even colder than before. There’s no hesitation or remorse in him. “So if you don't want your father to end up under a bridge, and your mother to whore around with her slutty daughter, you're gonna stop whining.”
He points his finger at you. You remember the meeting earlier. How cold he was, how sorry you felt for that woman. But now, it’s you who is facing this terrible side of him.
“And you’re gonna let them take their turn. Final warning.”
You suppress a sob, even when Steve settles between your legs and places one hand on your thigh and the other around his cock.
“Go on Steve, give her a good fuck.”
You hear the men cheer when Joel's employee pushes his tip in your already sore hole.
“Come on man, give it to her good!”
“Fuck that bitch!”
He thrusts in, grunting. Excited by the cheers of the other men. He fucks you hard as soon as he grabs your thighs and buries his length in you. You keep your eyes closed, unable to meet his gaze, and unwilling to give them any more of yourself by letting them see your frightened eyes.
“Well damn, Steve, you got great moves!”
The man puts his hands on your hips for a better leverage, jerking you forward with each thrust.
“Fuck, she's tight…”
“Yeah? Tighter than your wife?”
They all laugh, and you feel nauseous.
“Come on, Steve. Shoot your load. Don't enjoy it too much. I just lent her to you.”
Steve obeys and comes in your cunt, mixing his cum with Joel's.
Then Jim uses you.
And finally, Paul. He turns you around and bends you over to thrust into you from behind. He’s already groaning, when Joel’s phone rings.
“Oh!” he chuckles when he sees the name on the screen. He picks up and, looking at you, brings his index finger to his mouth, ordering you to be quiet.
“Hey, man! Calling to check on your daughter?” He walks around the desk to sit at your side and starts jerking his cock as he watches you getting fucked by the third man.
You can’t hear what your dad is saying, and your mind dissociates again.
“It’s going great. She’s already showing some serious skills!”
Joel smiles in response to what your father’s saying, his hand still fucking his shaft.
“No, sorry, she’s with Paul. He’s showing her some new procedures, they will be very useful to me soon.”
Paul is growling, rutting into you, and you hear Joel say, “Yeah sure, I’ll tell her you called.”
Paul spreads your ass cheeks and spits on your ring.
“No!” Joel gruffs in a low, menacing voice, after hanging up. “No one fucks her ass.”
“Sorry, boss, she takes it so good, I got carried away.”
“Don’t forget your place. Fill her up, and then get out, all of you. She’s mine, got it? We all… welcomed her, but now she belongs only to me.”
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After using you like a fuck doll, the three men leave the office chatting happily.
Joel gets up, his hand working his fat cock.
“Gotta fill you again, baby. I can’t stay like this, with a hard-on, it’s painful, you know?”
You can’t believe he’s telling you this.
“Pussy’s already ruined, anyway,” he says as he thrusts in and fucks you hard and fast in all men’s cum, until he sends his load into your owerflowing core for a second time.
You’re lying on the desk, not even realizing they all left, that Joel has pulled out, until you feel a jacket covering you. Joel pulls down your skirt back over your thighs and grabs your arm to help you up. He fixes your shirt and looks at your face, your makeup smudged, mascara running down your cheeks.
“You’re gonna need some rest, baby. Come back next week. I’ll be the only one playing with you, from now on. Don’t forget - a pretty girl like you needs a man like me.”
You shiver. His voice pulls you out from the depths of your mind, that is lying to you that none of this has happened.
“Are you on birth control?”
You shake your head, eyes empty.
“I’m gonna give you an after pill, I don’t want you knocked up by one of the guys. You’re too precious for me. Now get your stuff and go home. And don’t think of telling anyone. No one will believe you anyway.”
As you grab the handle, he adds “Oh, before you leave. Add to my calendar, tomorrow, ‘a barbecue at your parents’, at noon. Your dad’s just invited me. It’s gonna be great, baby. Can’t wait to pay you a visit in your bedroom.”
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Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated <3
Other fics by @milla-frenchy and me
Keep on your mean side - Joel x f!reader - dark fic
The Burglary -Joel x f!reader x Tommy - dead dove, noncon
Bad Girl - Joel x f reader x Tommy - dubcon
The hounds of hell - Series - Javier PeĂąa x fem reader x Steve Murphy
MILLA’S MASTERLIST || KATE’S MASTERLIST
Tagging some lovely people who showed interest in the wips: @koshkaj-blog @604to647 @megangovier @tateypots @sunshineispunk @thundermartini @pedge-page @mountainsandmayhem @iamasaddie @schnarfer @mermaidgirl30 @evolnoomym @fruityreads @itwasntimethatdidit40
814 notes ¡ View notes
ffxivtranslations ¡ 3 months ago
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Why did Haurchefant have to die? Interview Translation
I translated part of an interview with Yoshi-P and the two main scenario writers of HW, Ishikawa and Oda. It's about Haurchefant's character arc and why he had to be sacrificed. At least Oda tried to save him, bless his heart!
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Interviewer: In 2.x, Haurchefant appeared to be a cheerful character, but in 3.0 his role takes a serious turn. What was the reason for this change?
Ishikawa: In the 2.x series I was in charge of his dialogue as the Character Concept designer, but in 2.55 I felt I had properly written down his important points and position in society, so I could hand him over to Oda and Maehiro for 3.0. Because of this I don’t think anything changed about him from the start; how he cares about his friend, or his essence as a knight.
Oda: I agonised over Haurchefant’s fate right until the very end… over and over I suggested plots in which he might somehow survive.
Yoshi-P: Those plots were too contrived; I couldn’t approve them! LOL In depicting this war between humans and dragons, I thought it was wrong to only have the dragons’ side experience loss after loss and not have the humans make any sacrifices. So that’s why I told them to properly decide the fate of every character. The fate of every character should have been decided early in the development phase of Patch 2.3. So Haurchefant’s fate was decided by then too, right?
Oda: Yes, that’s right. That’s why in Patch 2.4 and 2.5, when I wrote all his un-voiced lines, I was already doing so conscious of the fact that he would die later on.
Yoshi-P: Haurchefant is a character that is not just loved by players, but also loved by the development team. But since we decided on the plot twist where he would become the Warrior of Light's shield, we were prepared for the worst. Because of that we were able to write the Patch 2.5 scene, in the Falling Snows, where he reaches out to the Warrior of Light in his time of need. I think that such a long build-up led to the deep emotional impact of Haurchefant’s final moments. In that way, I think the deciding his fate early on was connected to how much importance he had to the story.
Oda: However, seeing how warmly players reacted to him, I feared that having Haurchefant lose his life would cause some players to quit the game forever, and fought desperately against it to the end…
Yoshi-P: He kept giving me re-takes of the plot where Haurchefant is able to come back to life, and eventually I remember getting quite mad at him. At one point, the 3.0 ending ceremony scene had Haurchefant appear in a wheelchair and I yelled “Hey, isn’t that the same as Thancred in ARR?!”. I’m pretty sure I shouted at him LOL
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maplesyrupsainz ¡ 4 months ago
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˖⁺。˚⋆˙still not dating | LS18˖⁺。˚⋆˙
pairing: lance stroll x alonso!driver!reader y/n (she/her)
genre: social media au
warnings: none jus fluff!!
summary: in which your rookie season as an f1 driver holds many surprises
a/n: omgg the second time i've written driver!reader coz i fear i suck at it but i'll always do whatever u guys ask of me tbh. 🙏
request!!!: lance x alonso!reader, where fernando is her dad and he just retired and she is lance’s new teammate at aston martin and they fall in love during her first season and are super cute? Kinda friends to lovers vibes
my masterlist
fc: daisy edgar jones
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ynalonso
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ynalonso the rumours are trueee
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user1 CONGRATULATIONS QUEEN
user2 oh thts my girl FOR REAL
user3 congrats 🥹🥹🥹🥹
user4 she's only got it coz of her dad 💀
user5 oh c'mon her credentials speak for themselves.
user6 jus u wait till nxt season
user7 aston marton nepotism team 🙄
user8 fr losing all credibility a bit
user9 BE SOOOO FOR FREAKING REAL RN
user10 about to go to war defending y/n
liked by ynalonso
lance_stroll congratulations again! my favourite alonso!
fernandoalo_oficial watch your back. also flirting with my daughter where i can see it? bold move
lance_stroll excuse me?!
fernandoalo_oficial you're excused.
ynalonso PLEASEEEEE HAHAHAHA
lance_stroll for the record i wasnt flirting
user11 HAHAHAHA
user12 yea right
user13 he's so flirting
user14 ynlance dream team oh it's happening
ynalonso posted a story
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liked by fernandoalo_oficial, pierregasly, and others
estebanocon congratulations y/n! cant wait to celebrate with you tonight!!
ynalonso tysm estie 🫶🫶
mickschumacher CONGRATULATIONSSSSS
ynalonso ahhh!!!! thank you!!!
pierregasly congrats! see you soon
liked by ynalonso
alex_albon SO so deserved!!!
ynalonso 🥹🥹🥹
francisca.cgomes beautiful angel cant wait to see you beating pierre on the track next season
ynalonso cant wait to see YOU in the aston martin garage 👀
francisca.cgomes oh stop it you!!!!
schecoperez congratulations !
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landonorris well done 👏
liked by ynalonso
maxverstappen1 so excited to have you on track y/n!
ynalonso ahh such an honour to race alongside (way way behind) you!
maxverstappen1 oh im sure i'll see you up on the podium very soon
ynalonso 🥹
time skip 💚
twitter ->
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lance_stroll posted a story
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liked by landonorris, estebanocon, and others
landonorris are you dating her mate?
lance_stroll what?? no just friends
landonorris oh my bad 👍
user15 AHHH ynlance crumbs
user16 they r so srs to meee
user17 jus date already.
user18 baby y/nnn
user19 love her sm
mickschumacher aww you guys are cute!
lance_stroll ? we're friends
mickschumacher yea that's what i mean! haha
ynalonso
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ynalonso im jus having the best time
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user20 oh i love her
user21 fav driver for a reasonnnn
user22 PODIUM IN THE NEXT RACE
liked by ynalonso
user23 her liking....and the next gp is barcelona too
user24 SHE'S COOKINGGG
user25 proving the haters wrong every single dayyy
yourbff MY GIRLLLL
ynalonso im coming home babyyy!!
yourbff iktr 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️
fernandoalo_oficial so proud of you 💚
ynalonso 🥹🥹🥹
user26 AHHH THEY R SO SRS TO MEEE
lance_stroll still waiting for you to catch me up 👀
ynalonso oh jus you wait. we'll be on MY turf soon!
lance_stroll cant wait 😎
fernandoalo_oficial lance you are like the children in school teasing the girl because you like her!
ynalonso papa please😭😭😭
user27 SCREAM
user28 read him for filth oh my god
user29 GET HIM AGAIN FOR MEEE NANDO
user30 no one talking about how the third pic is so bf vibes?
yourbff 📍 barcelona
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yourbff my favourite event of the year; spanish grand prix!! 🇪🇸
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user31 omgg so cute
user32 love their friendship
user33 always love y/bff/n's annual f1 posttt
user34 aww y/bff/n in the aston martin merch
yourbff always supporting my girl
ynalonso 🥹💚
user35 STOPP AWW
carlossainz55 🇪🇸🇪🇸🇪🇸🇪🇸🇪🇸🇪🇸🇪🇸🇪🇸🇪🇸🇪🇸
liked by yourbff, ynalonso
user36 he's so real
lance_stroll stop hogging her
yourbff SAYS YOU??? puta
ynalonso no arguing this weekend!!
yourbff he started it
lance_stroll im not trying to argue
fernandoalo_oficial another one for my theory......
lance_stroll WHAT NOW???
ynalonso make it stop 😭😭
user37 BAHAHAHAHA
user38 nando is killing me
user39 he ships them be fr 👀
twitter ->
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yourbff posted a story
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liked by ynalonso, lance_stroll, and others
ynalonso STOPPP IM GONNA CRY AGAIN
yourbff girl i never stopped...
ynalonso 😭 love you soso much
fernandoalo_oficial 💚
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user41 THIS IS SOOOOO CUTE
user42 omg adorable
user43 girl im gonna cry
user44 i love y/n so much
user45 so deserved 🥹
francisca.cgomes omgg🥹🫶
liked by yourbff
twitter ->
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lance_stroll posted a story
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pierregasly YOUR p2?
lance_stroll what?
pierregasly what?
lance_stroll what?
pierregasly 💀
fernandoalo_oficial interesting...
yourbff RETURN HER TO ME AT ONCE
lance_stroll no
user46 YOURS?
user47 hello????
user48 AHHHHHHHHHHH
user49 ASK HER OUT ALREADY
landonorris still not dating her mate?
lance_stroll we are friends 😌
landonorris 😂
ynalonso posted stories
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fernandoalo_oficial be responsible please
liked by ynalonso
user50 oh to be a fly on the wallll
user51 WISH I WAS IN THEIR FRIEND GROUPPPP
user52 the shots omg so messy
francisca.cgomes miss you
ynalonso okay where are you come to the club right now
francisca.cgomes 😂 im on my way w alex
ynalonso SSVING YOU BOTH A SHOTTT
lance_stroll love you and congrats
ynalonso IM RIGHT HERE????
twitter ->
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//
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instagram ->
ynalonso posted a story
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user57 hii y/n 👀
user58 we saw the picssssss
user59 SPILL
francisca.cgomes courtesy of lance, i assume? 👀
ynalonso no comment
yourbff spill. the. beans.
ynalonso nothing to spill 😇
yourbff Y/N!!!
fernandoalo_oficial y/n have i seen images of you and lance kissing?
ynalonso nooo hahahh it's not me :)
fernandoalo_oficial are you sure?
lance_stroll 📍 barcelona
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liked by ynalonso, fernandoalo_oficial, and others
lance_stroll definitely not one to forget
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user60 the first pic being srs & everything else cutesie ... y/n's impact!
user61 the last pic AHHHHHHHHHHHH
user62 the way he LOOKS at y/n!!!!!!
user63 he's in love.
user64 i jus know she's cheesing right back at him too 😭
pierregasly love seeing us both in the points 😍
liked by lance_stroll
fernandoalo_oficial have you spoken to my daughter yet??
ynalonso ...about???
fernandoalo_oficial so, no
lance_stroll 😭 let me live
user65 nando is cooking????
user66 oh he's playing puppet master for sure
estebanocon next time we'll be seeing you on the podium?
lance_stroll yes, alongside you
estebanocon oh, i fear we're dreaming too hard
lance_stroll 😂😂😂
landonorris ...still not dating her mate?
lance_stroll lando. please.
user67 noo let him speak
user68 STILL? NOT? DATING?
ynalonso posted a story
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liked by francisca.cgomes, alexandrasaintmleux, and others
yourbff oh, i see you
ynalonso hm? 😇
yourbff dont play dumb
francisca.cgomes so you had the conversation?
ynalonso what? :)
francisca.cgomes C'MON
alexandrasaintmleux posting this before spilling the deets to us? okay!!
ynalonso im just a girl
lilymhe well congrats 😎
ynalonso 🥹
user69 WE SEE YOU.
user70 ynlance nation rise
user71 SO THE PIC WAS REALLY U???
user72 you dont need to hard launch girl we get it
fernandoalo_oficial you thought you could trick me?
ynalonso no papa what are you talking about? 😵‍💫
time skip 💚
twitter ->
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lance_stroll posted a story
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liked by ynalonso, pierregasly, and others
user74 oh hello?
user75 this is very sus
user76 to me this is a sign
user77 close enough. ynlance confirmed
user78 THIS IS SO CUTE
user79 i love aston martin 2025
pierregasly just hard launch already what are you waiting for
lance_stroll 😵‍💫
landonorris still not dating her mate?
lance_stroll get a job!!
fernandoalo_oficial your love for her is greater than mine i think everybody should know this by now
liked by lance_stroll
ynalonso
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ynalonso with the end of my rookie season i want to thank u all the for the immense support 🥹 not only from the fans but from my father, my team, my best friends and my teammate and boyfriend lance! here's to another great season at aston martin.. 😉 see you next year.
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user80 wait a second
user81 ok there's a lot to unpack here
user82 TEAMMATE AND BOYFRIEND????!?!??!
user83 ANOTHER season!!!! she's renewed her contract w aston??? 🎉🎉🎉
user84 SOOO PROUD
pierregasly you smashed it! honoured to race with you
ynalonso right back at you!
estebanocon a season most rookies could only dream of
ynalonso oh stop!!!!!! 🥹
fernandoalo_oficial beyond proud of you, te amo 💚
ynalonso !!!!! te amo papa
user85 oh how i love them.
yourbff oh thank god
ynalonso aww thanks love you too xx
yourbff be fr. im so proud of you when i think about it too much i start crying
ynalonso STOPPP🥹🥹🥹🥹
francisca.cgomes FINALLY
liked by ynalonso
lilymhe love you
ynalonso love you sm
alexandrasaintmleux we are all cheering (im so proud of you)
ynalonso love u love u love u
user87 LOVE THE WAGSSS
lance_stroll that's my girl 💚 amazing season, here's to many many more. i love you
ynalonso 🥹🥹 love you so so much thank you for being so amazing!!!
lance_stroll that's all you
user88 "THAT'S MY GIRL"??? IM MELTING
landonorris ohh so he was dating you the whole time?
liked by ynalonso, lance_stroll
THE END 💚
751 notes ¡ View notes
thebaldursmouthgazette ¡ 10 days ago
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I think a huge factor in people not being able to understand this game is that the game as a whole relies on understanding Solas’ character as written, and people are refusing to understand it
Solas is, and has been since his first appearance, an egotistical, hubristic, racist, manipulative, abusive and condescending asshole who regularly commits atrocities and pretends that being sad about them is enough penance. He is a terrible person who insists he’s actually the hero of the story. He is a liar and a manipulator, and he lies to himself as well. He uses other people like chess pieces and sacrifices them for his cause without much of a thought, and without them even knowing they are being used.
This is who he is. This is who he was always written to be. And veilguard is almost entirely about deconstructing that. Every member of the veilguard is a foil to solas. They are all who he pretends he is, and his false hero fantasy falls apart when you put them next to him.
Every single companion storyline is about that character successfully doing something that Solas is incapable of, but would be capable of if he wasn’t such a terrible person. And they all face a dark reflection of themselves and come out the other side mostly unscathed by that, aware that this dark reflection is not them because they are not actually like that.
Solas faces many of the same challenges the companions do, and fails each and every one of them, because, unlike them, he is not actually a hero. He is not a good person. He does not learn to accept that just because something is broken doesn’t mean there aren’t parts of it worth saving. He does not learn to accept the harsh truths and move forward. He does not accept that he is responsible for his own actions, even if someone else orders them. He fails every time.
Solas faces not one but two dark reflections of himself, Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain, the prideful god who always thinks he’s right no matter the consequences, and the servant and lover of another god whose atrocities are not justified by having been pushed by their lover and mistress, but does not come out the other side unscathed because it turns out he IS actually like them. His reflections are accurate, they’re real parts of himself that he pretends don’t exist, not just twisted versions of their fears like they are for the companions. At the end of the game he even admits that yes, he is very similar to Elgar’nan.
Pretty much the entirety of veilguard is a very careful and deliberate deconstruction of Solas’ character and self image. We go through, in elaborate detail, all of his crimes, all of his mistakes, all of the reasons why he is wrong, why his actions are unjustifiable, why his regret doesn’t absolve him of responsibility, how he thinks it does anyway.
We completely tear down every single aspect of the image he has constructed for himself. We destroy every single excuse with clear examples showing that that was not how things had to go. Every justification. Every insistence it’s okay because he’s sorry. Every time he insists he knows best and we should leave him to it. Every single illusion that he is a good person is shattered. By the end of it there is absolutely nothing left, and his repeated attempts to keep up the facade come off as pathetic and ridiculous. In all his banters with companions he tries to use his usual tricks, pretty excuses, belittling comments, fake niceties and every time he’s completely shut down.
He tries to imply Davrin has a biased view of him from stories about the dread wolf, Davrin responds with evidence the truth is even worse. He tries to apologise to Harding, she comes back with a list of all the terrible things he’s done that an apology can’t cover. He tries to appeal to spite, spite points out he hurt Rook so why should he trust him. He comes up with excuses for killing Varric and Neve points out that there’s no pretty excuse for using blood magic on Rook in such a cruel way afterwards. The illusion is shattered. That’s what the entire game has been building up to. And it makes his last attempt at betrayal seem embarrassing, because we now see through the facade and know that he was too obsessed with himself to even consider we’d see it coming.
But the thing is a lot of people refuse to see this. This is where his characters been heading since the beginning. This is who he’s always been. But a lot of people ignore any and every negative thing about him, and then complain the game doesn’t make sense. Of course it doesn’t make sense. You’ve ignored every single theme, plot point, and piece of characterisation to make up a version of Solas in your head and that’s not the Solas the game is about. It makes complete sense when you see Solas as he truly is, as he was written to be. It’s such a good bit of writing when you actually let yourself experience it as it is and allow yourself to be open to the idea that the guy who is trying to commit his second genocide might be a bad person.
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inkspiredwriting ¡ 5 months ago
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The Diner of Destiny - Part 2
Five Hargreeves x reader
A/N: Okay, some of you wanted a second part. So I thought why not? I've never written a second part to any of my stories, so I'm not so sure if the second part is any good.
Warnings: spoilers for season 4 episode 5-6, angst
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Five wandered through the fractured remains of countless timelines, driven by a singular purpose: to find y/n, the woman he had unwittingly erased from existence. He had become a phantom, slipping between realities like a shadow, his resolve hardening with each failed attempt. Every timeline, every world was a dead end, a cruel reminder of the life he had obliterated with one careless choice. But giving up was never an option. He had to find her.
Weeks blurred into months as he tirelessly pursued the faintest hints of her existence. Fragmented memories, distorted whispers, and fleeting visions of a woman whose face he had never truly known. Each clue led him deeper into the labyrinth of time, and each step weighed heavier on his conscience. He was close—he could feel it.
Finally, one day, in a timeline that felt strangely still, as though it had been waiting for his arrival, Five found her.
She was sitting in a small, secluded garden, surrounded by overgrown ivy and vibrant flowers. The sun cast a warm, golden light over the scene, but there was an air of melancholy that clung to the place, as if it remembered the things that had been lost. Y/n was there, her back to him, her head bowed as she absentmindedly traced patterns in the dirt with a stick. She looked almost like a statue—beautiful, but untouchable, frozen in a moment that he had shattered.
Five approached her cautiously, his heart pounding in his chest. His footsteps crunched softly on the gravel path, and y/n looked up, startled. Her eyes met his, and for a brief, agonizing moment, it was as though she recognized him. But then the flicker of familiarity vanished, replaced by confusion.
“Who are you?” she asked, her voice tinged with wariness but not fear. There was a gentleness in her tone that cut Five deeper than any anger could have.
He swallowed hard, his mouth dry, and for the first time in a long time, he hesitated. How could he explain the unimaginable? How could he make her understand what he had done?
“My name is Five,” he began, his voice rough with emotion. “I’m not sure how to say this, but… you were supposed to be someone important to me. To all of us, actually. But I made a mistake, a terrible mistake, and I… I lost you.”
Y/n’s brow furrowed as she tried to make sense of his words. “Lost me? I’m sorry, but I don’t understand. We’ve never met before. How could you have lost me?”
Five’s chest tightened with the weight of his guilt. “You’re right. We’ve never met. But we should have. I was supposed to find you, fall in love with you. You were supposed to be my anchor, the person who kept me—and all the other versions of me—grounded across the timelines. But instead, I got involved with someone else, someone named Lila.”
At the mention of Lila’s name, Y/n’s expression softened, but only slightly. “Lila?” she echoed, the name unfamiliar and distant.
Five nodded, his voice trembling. “Yes. I thought I was making the right choice at the time, but it was the wrong one. Choosing Lila… it erased you from our lives. You were supposed to be there, and because of me, you weren’t. I took away your life, your future, and I didn’t even know it until it was too late.”
Y/n stared at him, her eyes searching his face for any sign of deception or malice. But all she saw was a man haunted by his mistakes, a man who had come to her not for forgiveness, but for something even more elusive.
“What do you want from me?” she asked quietly, her voice laced with a sorrow she didn’t fully understand.
Five closed his eyes for a moment, gathering the strength to continue. “I don’t know if I can make things right, but I had to find you. I had to tell you what happened, even if it doesn’t change anything. I’m sorry, y/n. I’m sorry for what I took from you, for what I took from all of us. I just… I wanted you to know that you mattered. That you were supposed to matter.”
Y/n looked down at the ground, her hand still clutching the stick. She was silent for a long time, and Five feared that his words had only hurt her more, that there was nothing left to say. But then, she spoke, her voice soft and distant.
“Do you really believe we could have been happy?” she asked, almost to herself.
Five’s heart ached at the question, at the lost possibility of what could have been. “I don’t know,” he admitted, his voice breaking. “But I would have liked to find out.”
Y/n nodded, her expression unreadable. “I can’t remember you,” she said softly. “But something in me feels… something. Maybe it’s just the idea of what could have been. Or maybe… maybe there’s something more.”
Five watched her, his breath catching in his throat. This was it—the moment that could change everything. But even as hope flickered within him, he knew the truth. He had come too late. The damage was done, and there was no going back.
“I wish I could change what happened,” he whispered. “But all I can do is tell you the truth. You deserved so much more than what I left you with.”
Y/n looked at him, her eyes filled with a sadness that went beyond words. “Maybe we were never meant to be,” she said quietly. “Maybe… maybe this was always how it was supposed to end.”
Five shook his head, tears welling in his eyes. “No. This isn’t how it was supposed to be. But it’s what I’ve made it. And for that, I’m sorry.”
Y/n stood slowly, the stick falling from her hand as she faced him fully. “I don’t know if I can forgive you,” she said, her voice trembling. “But I appreciate that you tried to make things right. Even if it’s too late.”
Five nodded, the tears finally spilling over as he met her gaze. “I’ll never stop trying to make it right,” he vowed. “Even if I never see you again, I’ll keep looking for a way to fix this.”
Y/n gave him a small, sad smile, the kind of smile that spoke of acceptance and resignation. “Goodbye, Five,” she said softly. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
And with that, she turned and walked away, her figure growing smaller and smaller until she disappeared into the distance. Five stood there, alone in the garden, the weight of his actions pressing down on him like a suffocating blanket. He had found her, but he had also lost her—again.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting the garden in a blanket of twilight, Five knew that this was his burden to bear. He had made a choice, and now he would live with the consequences for the rest of his existence. The woman who was supposed to be his anchor, his salvation, was gone, and he was the one who had pushed her away.
And so, with a heavy heart and a mind full of regrets, Five turned and walked back into the shadows, disappearing from the world that could have been his. The timelines would go on, fractured and unstable, and he would continue his endless search for redemption. But deep down, he knew the truth—some things could never be undone. And some losses were meant to be permanent.
The garden, now empty and silent, bore witness to a moment that had passed, a possibility that had slipped through time’s fingers. And as the stars began to twinkle in the darkening sky, Five’s silhouette faded into the night, carrying with him the memory of what could have been, and the sorrow of what never was.
508 notes ¡ View notes
navybrat817 ¡ 5 months ago
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His Favorite Person
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Pairing: Librarian!Ari Levinson x Female Reader
Summary: You want to be more than friends with Ari.
Word Count: Over 1.5k
Warnings: Fluff, sweetness, friends to lovers (of sorts), Ari Levinson (he's a warning, okay?).
A/N: More Beach Fun Nonsense! Hope you lovelies enjoy. @lovebittenbyevans requested Librarian AU, friends to lovers with Ari, and to dig his Toes in the Sand (fluff) with prompt #7 in bold. Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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You stood on your tiptoes to reach a book on the top shelf. You huffed out a breath and tried to stretch a little bit more, but your fingers barely skimmed the spine. It would’ve been easier to ask for some help, but you didn’t want to bother Ari. You bothered him enough during his shifts.
You should’ve known he was only standing a few feet away, watching the display with a smirk on his ridiculously handsome face. “Need some help?” He asked.
Managing not to fall into the shelf from the slight scare, you pointed to the book you tried and failed to grab. “If you wouldn’t mind?” You asked, dragging your eyes from his chest to his eyes. It was like looking into a storm, but warmth lingered in a way that told you not to fear any destruction left in its wake. “Please?”
Rugged was the word that came to mind whenever you glanced at him. A dark beard to match his long hair and jeans that showed off his large thighs, he even had the sleeves of his tight shirt rolled up so you could see his veins. The man could've easily passed for an adventurer instead of a librarian and you were certain he caught you staring at him more than once.
It wasn’t polite to stare, but was it fair for him to be so good looking?
“Don’t mind at all,” he said, plucking it from the shelf and placing it in your waiting hand. “You could’ve just asked me to grab it from the start, but you just had to be stubborn.”
“I wasn’t being stubborn,” you argued. He raised an eyebrow in response. “You just have a lot to do and I didn’t want to bother you,” you said, hugging the book to your chest.
“You were being stubborn, you’ve never once bothered me, and it’s part of my job to help.” Ari made a show of looking around, his silky hair flowing with the motion. “But I guess you’re right. I have so much to do since it’s so crowded today,” he joked.
It wasn’t a secret that the library was hit and miss in town. So many wanted their stories electronically and didn’t appreciate the feel of a book in their hands. Ari did what he could though since he took over as head librarian. Between overseeing the daily operations and managing his employees, he took his job seriously. You had no doubt he’d bring a much needed spark back to the place.
“Yeah, well, thanks for your help,” you said.
“Another romance novel, huh? Didn’t you just bring one back today?”
Your face grew warm before you nodded. Of course, he’d notice that. “You know me,” you mumbled, hugging the book tighter.
He took a step closer, searching your face with a gentle gaze. “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with reading what you love.”
There was no judgement in his eyes and that made the corner of your lips lift in a smile. “I appreciate that.”
Being single, reading books like that allowed you to dive into various worlds and experience love. You could immerse yourself and imagine having a partner who would not only overcome obstacles with you, but would ensure that there would be a happily ever after. In a world often dark and negative, the escape gave you hope that one day you'd manage to find someone who could love you so deeply. You didn't want to think that romance only existed in books.
If only you were brave enough to take a chance and ask Ari out.
“Oh, I almost forgot to tell you,” you began, walking beside him to head to the front desk. He took up a good portion of the aisle with his beefy frame and you had to tell yourself again not to stare. “I spoke with my boss about adjusting my hours and they approved it! I can do Story Time on Tuesdays.”
“That’s great!” The smile on Ari’s face was worth moving your schedule around. “I really appreciate you doing that for me. I owe you one.”
You wished you would’ve teasingly suggested a date as a form of payment, but you shrugged. “You don’t owe me anything. You’re my friend and that’s what friends do,” you said, cringing inwardly. It sounded lame to your ears.
“Yeah. Friends.” His smile faded slightly as he walked around the counter. “Just this book today, right?” He asked, slipping into his professional tone. Still pleasant to hear, but a touch of the usual warmth was gone. Like you were just like every other person who walked into the library.
“Yeah,” you replied, passing over your library card. “Did I say something wrong?” You added, your voice barely above a whisper.
“No, you didn’t,” he said, his large hand placing your card on top of the book. He passed it over to you and you couldn’t ignore the jolt of electricity that moved through you when your fingers touched. “Why would you think that?”
“It’s just…” Putting him on the spot wasn’t your intention and you didn’t want to point out his slight change in demeanor. “You do consider us friends, right?”
You didn't have a lot of close friends, but you considered Ari to be one of them. At the very least, he was friendly with you. It was possible that you read things wrong. Engrossing yourself in one too many books could’ve blurred your version of reality.
“Of course, I do. You’re my favorite person,” he replied. You leaned on the counter with a relieved and dopey smile at his statement. Were you really his favorite person? “But just because you’re my favorite person doesn’t mean I have to be yours.”
“But you are my favorite person,” you blurted out, covering your mouth when your voice echoed. “Sorry,” you added in a hushed whisper. It was a library. You needed to be somewhat quiet.
He chuckled and leaned on the counter, too, his eyes zeroed on you. “Oh, I am, am I? So, you don't actually come here to borrow romance novels. You’re just really looking for an excuse to see me.”
Your heart pounded, but you took a breath to keep your cool and hopefully not make a fool out of yourself. “I come here for the books and to see you, Ari,” you said carefully, the corner of your lip twitching in a smile. “But you obviously want to see me, too, otherwise you wouldn’t have asked me to do Story Time.”
“Well, yeah,” he smirked before softly adding, “Seeing you is the best part of my day.”
How did your knees not buckle? “It is?”
“Yeah, it is.” He smiled, almost to himself. “Can I ask you something?”
“You just did, but you can ask me another question,” you teased.
He stretched across the counter a bit more. “If I'm your favorite person and you're mine, why haven't we gone on a date?”
For a moment, it felt like the room sucked up all the oxygen. Breathing should've been natural to do, but you couldn't inhale as you stared at him. Glancing down at the book to get your bearings, it dared you to take a chance. A leap of faith. With a deep breath, you did.
“Because I've been waiting for you to ask me out and you haven't yet. And I've been too chicken to ask you myself,” you replied. You regretted the words the moment he stood up straight, his expression unreadable. He didn’t actually want that, did he? “I’m sorry. Forget I said that. Please.”
A second passed and his lips slightly parted, but he didn't speak. His silence said it all. Nodding with a heavy heart, you turned to walk away from the counter. You could lick your wounds later as you read another happily ever after.
“Shit. Wait.” Ari moved with impressive speed to block your path, his grip gentle on your arms to stop you. “Did you mean it? You really want to go on a date with me?”
You nodded. “Yeah, I do, but I understand if-”
“Thank fuck,” he sighed, your eyes rounding at his words. “I’ve been wanting to ask you out for days and I got worried there for a moment with the ‘friends’ comment that you didn't want anything beyond friendship.”
Your stomach did somersaults. Ari liked you. He wanted to ask you out. God, you almost ruined things before they started. “I’m sorry I worried you, but trust me. I'm very interested in you, Ari,” you smiled, forgetting you were in the library as you stepped closer. “And if you ask me, some of the best romances come from friendships.”
“They do.” He smiled back, his cerelain eyes lit up like yours. “And our story will be more romantic than any of those books you’ve been reading.”
Biting your lip, you watched as his gaze dropped to your mouth. What would it feel like if he bit your lip? “I don’t know. That’s a pretty tall order.”
He brought his mouth to your ear. “I’m a very determined man,” he whispered. No doubt he felt you tremble in his grasp. “Saturday night?”
“It’s a date.”
A date and the beginning of your love story.
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We know this man would plan the perfect date, right? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
470 notes ¡ View notes
holylulusworld ¡ 6 months ago
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Caught Cold - Alternative version
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Summary: Something goes wrong on your latest mission.
Ship/Main Pairing: Alpha!Bucky Barnes x Omega!Reader
Written for @buckybarnesevents “Hot Bucky Summer” - Week 6 - “I won’t be able to stop myself. + Sex Pollen + Gone feral + Fuck or die
Read the alternative version here: Caught Cold. Please consider, the beginning of the story is the same as its alternative version.
Major Tags/Triggers/Warnings: a/b/o, a/b/o dynamics, chasing, sex pollen, smut, unprotected sex, mating bites, I’ll label this one dub-con due to sex pollen
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A white mist fills the room after you drop one of the vials you found at the old warehouse. You curse yourself, already hearing Bucky nag. He’s not a big fan of you, especially because you are an omega. If you just screwed this mission up, you won’t hear the end of it.
Bucky holds up his right hand. “AGENT Y/L/N, no! What did you do?“ There’s something in his voice you’ve never heard before. Panic, fear, even. “We gotta get out of here.”
He covers his mouth and nose with his gloved hand. “OUT!”
“Out?” You look around the room. Everything was normal a few seconds ago, and now the former Winter Soldier looks like he saw a ghost. “Sergeant, we have our orders. Captain Rogers wants us to secure the information.”
“OUT!” It’s more of a growl than a word. Bucky takes one step toward you, still covering his mouth. “Y/N, stop talking back for once. We need to…”
His whole body suddenly sizes up. The strong and undefeatable super-soldier falls to his knees. He slams his fists into the ground.
“Sergeant?” You step away from him. Bucky is a little broody, grumpy even. But the man kneeling on the ground stares up at you with glowing eyes. “Sergeant Barnes?” Now you panic. He slams his metal fist into the ground. “You’re scaring me.”
“You…” He growls deep and guttural. “You need to run. Go now.” Bucky seems to fight with an invisible force. He rams his fist into the ground to keep himself from getting back up.
“Why?” You are panicking now. “Sergeant? What’s wrong? Are you sick?”
“I can smell your pussy,” he snarls in your direction.
“What?” You drop your eyes to your crotch. Can he really smell that his closeness arouses you? You heard that alphas could smell when you are fertile, but can he smell your slick too? "Sergeant, we can’t leave. Why do you want to leave?”
“I won’t be able to stop myself.” Bucky groans loudly as he rams his metal fist into the ground again. “OMEGA!” He purrs low in his throat.
“Oh. God.” You step back, shaking your head, when he gets back on his feet. Bucky cracks his neck and flexes his metal arm. He stares at you like he wants to eat you alive.
“RUN!” It’s the last warning you’ll get. Bucky is close to losing his mind. His alpha is taking over, and there is no rational thought left.
You finally set things into motion and run out of the room. While Bucky growls your name, you try to get in contact with Steve and the rest of the team.
“Captain Rogers, this is an emergency. I think something is wrong with Sergeant Barnes,” you pant while looking over your shoulder. “Can you hear me? Copy?”
All you get is radio silence. Crap. This is the worst time to lose contact with your team.
“OMEGA!” You shriek when you hear Bucky chase after you. Fuck, for a man his size, he’s fucking fast and stealthy. “Come here.”
Like a wild animal, he chases after you, growling your name as you start running again. Your heart thunders in your chest, and your brain goes a mile a minute. You’re torn between following his alpha command and the fear that causes you to run faster.
Until now, you believed that Bucky would never hurt you. But he’s not himself, and you fear he’ll kill you if he gets his hands on you.
He didn’t warn you for nothing.
“Stop running from me.” He’s so close you can smell his sweat. Fuck, how can that fucker run so fast without being out of breath? “OMEGA!”
“Sergeant,” you stumble back. “You need to calm down.” You raise your hands. “I know that I broke the vial, but that’s no reason to kill me!”
“Kill you,” he bares his teeth and chuckles. “I won’t kill you.” You swallow thickly as his eyes drop to your crotch. “I only want to claim what’s rightfully mine.”
Bucky dips his head. He smirks, and you swear, it looks like the fucker is having a blast chasing you around.
“Sergeant,” you giggle. “I’m flattered really, but…uh…this is not the time to think about your knot.” You point at him. “I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret.”
His eyes darkened at your words. “Stop running away from me. Give up. This is your fault for breaking the vial. You released the sex pollen.”
“Sex pollen?” You release a shuddery breath as the realization hits you. Sex pollen. You heard that term before. Doctor Banner mentioned it months ago. “No…this can’t be. It shouldn’t exist any longer.”
Bucky watches you like a hawk. Every move you make gets noticed by him. He’s an apex predator, an alpha, and a super-soldier with higher senses. Outrunning him won’t work out for you.
“Captain Rogers, can you hear me,” you whisper into the void. Your earpiece is useless. White noise is all you hear. “Fuck…”
Bucky smirks darkly when you lick your lips. He looks like a wild wolf with his teeth bared and his eyes glowing. “They want me to mate you, omega.” He sniffs in your direction. “Lucky me, getting such a nice little pussy today.”
“Hah, yeah…you’re very funny.” You show your palms while slowly walking back. One step, after another.
Bucky cannot know that your panties are soaked and that you’d love to have him on top of you. He’s your supervisor and a fucking super-soldier. You’re not sure if you can take him.
What if he breaks your hips? You giggle at the thought, feeling silly. Bucky would never be interested in mating you. Right? Right…
“I told you to run,” he growls now. “I need to mate you.” Bucky curls his shoulders, eyes glued to you. His eyes flick to your face when you move back again.
“Can you not…jerk it out of your body?” You must sound hilarious because Bucky snorts at your comment. “No?” You frown. Bucky tries to fight the toxin; you can see it in his eyes.
“Come. Here,” he spits while talking. “OMEGA!”
You remember Bruce’s words now. Sex pollen was created to make the alphas compliant. A forced rut and an omega in heat were all they needed to control the soldiers. If they refused to mate, the sex pollen would kill them.
“Sergeant,” you slowly take a step back, and another. “I know you believe you must mate me. Believe me, I like me a good fuck but we’re in the middle of a mission.”
He grins darkly. Bucky watches you turn on your heels to go for a sprint. His growls echo through the abandoned building when you run along the corridor.
You don’t stand a chance. The fucker is fucking thick, and beefy but damn him, that man can run. He goes for a sprint, catching up with you in no time.
You feel his breath before he pounces on you. He tackles you to the ground, immediately burying you under his heavy body. “Sergeant,” you snarl feeling his lips nip at your neck. “This is inappropriate.”
Well, no shit. His erection is pressing against your ass, and you can tell, that man is packing. While Bucky tugs at your tactical suit, you wonder if his dick is another perk of being a super-soldier or if he was packing before Hydra got their hands on him.
“Hey, what,” you whimper when Bucky cuts your tactical suit open. He’s done fooling around. He needs to feel your cunt around him. “I liked that suit.”
You groan, and mutter but it’s no use. Bucky rips the remnants of your brand-new suit down your body before you can call him a jerk.
“Omega,” he hums in appreciation while staring at your exposed body. “Mine.” You debate to get up and try to run again. Bucky is much faster than you, he proved it more than once today. Plus, you always had a thing for the grumpy man.
You hate yourself for it, but you lie still and listen to him cursing and growling. Not because you are scared of fighting him, but to save his life. If the test results Doctor Banner told you about are true, Bucky could die if he doesn’t fuck the toxin out of his body.
“Fuck,” he curses behind you. Bucky is on you again, to cover your body with his large, hard one. He ruts against you, hoping to ease the pain in his groin. Bucky presses his aching cock between your legs, moving against your clit. “Mine…only mine.”
If anything, gets even harder feeling your slick cover his length. “Sergeant,” you wiggle your hips. If he forces you to feel his dick, you want to have him inside of you. “Fuck…” You pant heavily.
He’s growling incorrect words in your ear. You don’t understand a thing, only your name and that he wants to breed you.
His skilled hands, made to defeat any enemy, carefully lift your butt to line himself up with your soaked hole. Bucky fully sheaths himself inside your welcome warmth with one hard thrust. He whines into your neck, ready to pop his knot anytime.
Mine. Mine. Mine. He chants in his mind while slowly starting to rock into you. Bucky never felt so welcome inside a body.
His powerful thrusts make you groan. He’s mounting you like you’re some animal, but your body greedily welcomes him.
Bucky grips your hips, holding you pinned to the ground. “Mine.” His movement becomes erratic when you start to whimper his name. He doesn’t stop. Bucky plunges into you, with only one thought left; to breed and claim you and your body. “Mine…”
“Fuck… Sergeant…” you wiggle your hips, unable to meet his thrust. “I’m gonna…” Shit… fuck… it’s too late. Your cunt grips him tightly, forcing his knot to expand. Bucky sinks his teeth in your neck the moment his release fills you.
“Shit…” Bucky won’t let go of your neck. He grunts against you, feeling his knot lock you together. “What did you do?”
“I,” he finally releases your neck to stare at your now-marked mating gland. He releases an inhuman noise before rutting into you a few more times. “Mine…”
You’re too exhausted to argue. His body still presses you to the ground, and his knot won’t deflate for some time. Lying still you close your eyes and allow yourself to rest for a moment. It’s all too much.
Bucky moves his arms around your body and buries his face in your neck. He nuzzles you while feeling the fog clouding his mind slowly start to fade away.
“Y/N! BUCK!” You stiffen underneath Bucky when you recognize Steve’s voice. “BUCK!”
“Capsicle, can you slow down?” Tony whistles the moment his eyes land on Bucky’s naked ass. He snickers and decides to snap a few pictures. “Buckethead, that’s not how we train our rookies,” Tony tsks.
“Tony,” Steve grunts. He looks anywhere but at his friend and you buried under the heavy alpha. “Can you just not.”
“I told you it’s an emergency,” you mutter from under Bucky. “You didn’t listen.”
“What happened?” Steve tries to find out what happened while Tony snickers behind his back. “Tony, just stop it.” He angrily raises his fist.
“Sex pollen,” Bucky slurs. “She dropped sex pollen.” He huffs into your neck. “I had to breed her.”
“Yeah, can you not tell anyone about our little breeding escapade, Sergeant,” you grumble. It’s worse enough that Captain America and Tony walked in on you.
“Steve, some privacy please,” Bucky wraps his arms tighter around your body to roll to his side to take his weight off of you.
Steve gives Tony a stern look. He huffs and jerks his head toward the entrance. “Let’s give them some time. Sex pollen is the worst…”
Tony furrows his brows. “How do you know, Capsicle?” He follows Steve outside the building. “Did you…you know…experience it too.”
While Steve and Tony fight over his phone and the pictures he took of Bucky’s naked ass, Bucky nuzzles you and murmurs your name.
He worriedly looks at you in his arms, sighing deeply. “Are you cold? I can’t move but I can roll on my back. I’m sorry about…uh…everything.”
“I don’t want Tony to see my naked ass…” You both start laughing at that. There’s a lot to talk about, especially the fact that Bucky claimed you…”
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Tags in reblog.
518 notes ¡ View notes
coralinnii ¡ 6 months ago
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Congrats on reaching the 2.7 K followers milestone!! If it's okay to ask why specifically 2.7 K?
anyways I heard you were taking requests so I'll request something to celebrate with you :-D
I was wondering if you could do one where Idia, Kalim, Azul, Riddle rejects Fem!reader but ends up falling for reader after that, how would they react when they need to reject her and when the realization of them liking her back hits? (I tried to come up with an og idea but idrk if this one is actually good enough writing material :'-D)
 ‧₊˚✧ Waking up Too Late ‧₊˚✧
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↳ Realizing their feelings for fem!reader after rejecting you 
feat: Idia ❋ Kalim ❋ Azul ❋ Riddle genre: slight hurt/comfort, open ending note: no pronouns were used but reader is written as a female in mind, reader can be interpreted as Yuu!reader, 
Question: Why specifically 2.7K? Well... I wanted to do something when I reached 2k but by the time I finished my initial wave of requests and WIPs, it already reached 2.7K ^_^" There wasn't a real rhyme or reason... I was just really late to the game
extra note: the joke in the start of Azul’s section doesn’t mean anything bad about him in general. It’s just Azul reminds me too much of myself during my younger days and I wasn't the biggest fan of myself back then.
Also, if anyone is wondering... I haven't stopped writing. I was just unable to find time for myself during the last 3 months because my classes and work didn't leave me time to do much outside of that. Seriously, I had assignments due on weekdays AND weekends! If none of you know who I am or didn't even realize I was gone... ignore me and have a good day ^_^
2.7K Followers Writing Event 2023
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The Big Ooff
Regardless of Idia’s feelings before or after the confession, he rejected you in fear of change. He was content with the way things are, where he doesn’t have to worry about things like romance and relationships. 
Idia can’t imagine being the main protagonist for anything. He’s not the cool main hero or the handsome prince that gets the pretty girl. That's for the extroverts with high charm specs (a.k.a not him). Afterall, when does the NPC ever win? 
So when you, his friend and confidant, his solace and only exception, told him that you held feelings more than friendship…well, his system short-circuited. 
While the two of you said it wouldn’t change your friendship, you still wanted time away from him to heal the hurt. Idia agreed that the risky emotional roll dealt some real backlash to both of you.
The Realization
Idia tried to deny it, but he started imagining an alternative universe where he did accept your confession that fateful day. 
If he were to zone out during his level grinding sessions, he would vaguely envision himself in the same position, but perhaps with you lying next to him or even running your fingers through his flames. These daydreams would surprise him literally off the bed, his aforementioned flames burning a cute pinkish hue.
Some days when he’s browsing around online shops, he would occasionally encounter items that remind him of you.
Now, that in itself is not new but rather it was when he imagined how cute you would be if he got these items for you. Instead of your usual pleasantly surprised thank you, would you lovingly embrace him, maybe even kiss-! 
Ortho was startled to see his brother suddenly falling off his gaming chair, with his hands suspiciously covering his face. 
Crap, not only did he realize his feelings for you (which in hindsight probably was not surprising in the least), but he actually would like to be in a stupid lovey-dovey relationship with you. 
His Next Moves?
Continues to deny everything. So what if he wants a relationship with you? He can’t handle this new step even with these newly realized emotions. Plus, he was the one who blew his own shot by rejecting you the first time. 
So, he falls to his coping mechanism which is to deny everything and that he’s perfectly fine the way things are. 
When the two of you returned to your typical routine, he tried to keep things the way it used to be, as the same with you. 
Except it’s not quite the same. 
You weren’t sure if you were being conscious or that it’s been a while since you two hung out, but you felt that Idia was slightly more…attentive you could say?
He would give you first bids of the better controller before picking anything himself. If you seemed the slightest bit uncomfortable while sitting, the blue-flamed senior would offer you a comfier spot on his bed and a blanket if you wanted, before sputtering that he meant nothing weird about it.
He says he’s fine, but Idia’s is in no way the usual closed-off, sometimes cocky genius you knew before. He’s jittery, more prone to shriek and burst into pink flames to any of your gestures, and according to his little brother his heartbeat is slightly faster than usual. 
It’s weird…it’s like he actually acknowledges you as a woman…
Oh.
“Ahh, I seriously chose the wrong choice option. The story path…I wonder if I could still salvage a good ending…”
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The Big Ooff
Kalim’s overly friendly nature, while harmless, is somewhat misleading and confusing to those around him. I mean, if someone threw a grand luxurious party for you, it’s easy to assume that you were someone special. Unfortunately, Kalim is simply just…too friendly. He would do this and more for just about anyone, no matter how special they may or may not be.
Nonetheless, you still wanted to tell him your feelings. You wanted to tell him how his smile and laugh hastens your heartbeat as you smile back. That you feel butterflies every time he extends his hands to you, coaxing you to dance with the boisterous Housewarden of Scarabia. 
To everyone’s genuine surprise, the snow-haired student sincerely apologized to you, not able to return your feelings the same way. All of your friends and also Scarabia was so sure that their Housewarden thought differently of you, but news quickly spread that Kalim never thought about being more than friends with you.
The Realization
To clarify, Kalim never thought about being more than friends with anyone. He’s happy to have so many friends, what more could he possibly want?
But your words did shake him mentally. He never realized that you would feel this way for him. On days when he can’t keep track of the lessons at hand, his mind would doze off and wander back to your confession. 
“Hastening heartbeat, feelings of butterflies, always wanting to smile when you do…”
The more he thinks about your love symptoms, he’s realizing how similar those feelings were to his own when he’s around you. It was why he would always try to find you in a crowd, or why he wanted to be your dance partner on any occasion. Sure, he’s happy to be around everyone, but he feels especially good when it's you.
The pieces are connecting, the clogs are aligning, and soon…
“JAMIL, I THINK I’M IN LOVE TOO!” 
“IS YOUR LACK OF INTROSPECTION THIS BAD?!”
His Next Moves?
Man is now a fool in love. He has this goofy smile on his boyish face at the slightest mention of you. Everytime he thinks about you, he keeps attempting to buy one or two grand bouquets of flowers for you, each flower as beautiful as you, much to Jamil’s chagrin as the vice-Housewarden has to keep reminding him of a crucial fact. 
“You two aren’t dating. Actually worse considering your prior actions.” 
Jamil’s brutal but accurate words brought Kalim back to harsh reality as he realized his mistake in not realizing his feelings soon enough. But not one to wallow in the past, Kalim sought to tell you his feelings just as you bravely did before. 
Whether I personally think if that’s a smart move is irrelevant
Whatever your response is to him, Kalim would fully respect your choice, prioritizing your comfort and feelings over his newly uncovered ones. Despite his well intentions and honest feelings before the realization, his carelessness hurt you and he needed to consider your healing process. 
Kalim would still act like a love-sick fool, however. Buying beautiful trinkets because he thought of you but won’t push them onto you if you couldn’t handle the heavy sentiment (thank Jamil for that). 
Though a little more sheepishly, he would still extend his hand to you hoping for a dance, small little gestures to make you smile even the slightest bit brighter…all this and more because “I like you” and nothing else.
Just because he’s slow in figuring things out, his feelings won’t change so easily. This special feeling of happiness, of love… he’s grateful that you taught him this whole new world.
"I’m a little much? Haha, sorry. I get really happy when I see you...It feels nice being in love with you.”
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The Big Ooff
Please reconsider 
Ahem. Azul has grown accustomed to your presence. Perhaps even look forward to it throughout his daily routine, even assisting you in whatever trouble you always seem to get involved in. Some would accuse him of favoritism, but Azul argued that he was simply a gentleman treating a lady right.
He’s too observant to not notice that these sentiments are somewhat mutual. He thought of you as too kind and generous as to spend your spare time helping him around the lounge or to keep him company when the Leech twins get a little much. 
But he was surprised to learn that your feelings were deeper than he initially predicted. There was such sincerity in your voice as you confess your feelings that it shook Azul to his core and turned his human legs weak. 
However, he still had so many aspirations he hasn’t reached yet, opportunities he can’t miss. He can’t afford to split his time for something like romance, something that didn't register to him as urgent in the first place. Love is all well and good, but success is better and more tangible.
He’s careful with his words, gratefully thanking you for your confession and complimenting you with a list of traits he admired about you. 
But you should know Azul by now. He’s hyping you up before ultimately giving you crushing news. Like a company recruiter telling you weren’t chosen despite your apparent talents. 
You knew this, but it still hurts to have your dynamic treated equivalent to that of a business relation. 
The Realization
Azul understood you needed time away. Certain things were said that can’t be taken back and it’ll be a while before you two could feel comfortable around each other again. 
During this time though, the Housewarden truly felt your absence. He feels it when someone else takes a seat in his office where you usually occupy, when his mealtime feels less fulfilling because you weren’t there to enjoy it with him, when his headaches get worse from stress and you weren’t there to lend a comforting hand. 
This sense of void was like a stream of cold water slowly trickling into his body and mind until he felt heavy and almost drowning. What an odd sensation for a deep-sea merman. 
His mind became cluttered. He can’t focus on his work when all he could think about is where you might be and what you were doing. 
He reached his limit when he realized that he couldn’t even hide this internal conflict from Jade or Floyd when their keen eyes pick on every moment of his loss of focus, and they have an inkling as to the cause. 
…Dear Sevens, he might have made a great miscalculation on his own feelings.
His Next Moves?
First off, he’s going to spend some time in his pot. He needs some personal time reflecting over his own obliviousness and self-sabotage. 
Once that’s over, he now has to figure out how to remedy this. A plan to get back into your good graces after the blunder. 
He is a greedy merman. If he’s going to do something, he wants the best outcome possible, which is you forgiving him and accepting him while forgetting the past even happened.  
He’s read through countless relationship books, advice found online, and personal intel that his schoolmates were forced to generous enough to offer under an NDA. 
He’ll use the knowledge he remembered from your confession to his advantage, highlighting the parts of himself that he knew you liked about him. He shows off his good side in hopes to reignite what attracted you to him. 
If there’s anything to expose his intent with you, it’s the flush of his pale skin when you finally thanked him with that sweet smile he missed so much.
"I’m not one to lose an opportunity when within my reach. However long it takes, I’ll earn back what I’ve foolishly lost.”
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The Big Ooff
Riddle was, in all seriousness, taken aback by your confession.
The studious Housewarden of Heartslabyul is definitely smart, but he’s just slightly lacking in the people-reading department. 
To him, you were simply a very loving person. He thought perhaps you were on the shyer side but always worrying about his well-being, making sure he’s taken breaks and to enjoy himself between his duties.
You were still a little rambunctious as lately you seem at odds with Ace as you’re quick to smack and silence the mischievous redhead who seems to snicker more often than usual as of late. 
Frankly, you left him stunned, his face similar to a deer in headlights. No textbook or lecture has prepared him to reply back to your sincere confession. 
In the end, he rejected you while giving his full honesty. Silly things like love and relationships were subjects he never thought to consider in depth, and he wasn’t sure it was something he wanted at the moment. 
He tried to explain the best he could, but you couldn't stop the aching feeling of your heart breaking. 
The Realization
Your relationship with Riddle took a blow but it was not destroyed. Albeit some awkwardness here and there, life flows relentlessly as usual. 
But that fateful day would occasionally sneak its way into Riddle’s mind during his spare moments to himself, recalling your determined face, coupled with his memories of your beautiful, clear eyes.
Nowadays, his heart would tighten, his throat would feel dry, and his breathing would be shallower whenever his thoughts sway towards you. 
Spurred by these odd symptoms, he finally looked more into the topic of love. The more he delved into talks on relationships, seminars on emotional attraction, and even tropes from novels, the more it feels as though he’s going down a rabbit hole of new emotional discoveries. 
For a while, the Heartslabyul dorm was on edge as they feared for their necks every time their terrifying Housewarden suddenly turned franticly scarlet out of nowhere.
Alone in Riddle’s room, surrounded by articles and books littered on his once pristine desk, Riddle found his conclusion; he’s in love too
His Next Moves?
Riddle isn’t actually sure how to approach you anymore. This whole “in love” experience is all too new to him. He couldn’t bring up this embarrassing topic with any of his peers, and much less with his mother (Sevens knows he doesn’t exactly want to replicate a relationship like his parents). 
But he couldn’t handle the sudden sensations of nerves that occur every time he’s close to you. He can’t keep up constantly chastising himself internally for flinching every time he passes a tart or a teacup to you during Unbirthday parties. 
He can no longer focus during his study sessions with you as he’s now fighting with himself as he dreams to hold your free hand or to brush a stray lock of hair from your endearing face. 
Was it as difficult to deal with as it was for you? Was this the reason you decided to confess to him? But the thought of speaking to you about something so intimate invokes nerves in him that he couldn’t understand.
No, he should learn from your example. If the natural progression of his feelings should be clear communication between those involved, then he will face this challenge as confidently as he does with any other. 
Prepare yourself, the stubborn Riddle has made a goal for himself. 
“I admit my inexperience has hurt those I cherish. Next time, I will respond to your bravery in kind.” 
633 notes ¡ View notes
lo1k-diamonds ¡ 9 months ago
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Closer 💜
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GIF by namchyoon
SX Seoul Series | Namjoon's Entry
PAIRING: Namjoon x Reader (You can also read it on AO3)
SUMMARY: Namjoon and you were friends for years — he was your confidant, protector, and haven. You didn’t want to risk it, no matter what, but some things can’t be kept in the dark.
WORD COUNT: 8.2k
GENRE: friends to lovers, smut (it's lovemaking tbh)
RATING: R (explicit)
WARNINGS: reader is shy and introverted, mentions of anxiety, being in the dark in an agitated crowd (reader is safe w/ NJ), fear of losing a friendship, porn w/ plot (lovemaking, or my version of it), unprotected sex (wrap it up), dry humping, riding, they're both shy and idiots in love but they make it 💜
A.N. Is this a slow burn? Am I searingly slowly taking you all on the journey that is kissing and feeling Kim Namjoon? Some could say there was no need to describe it in such detail. They would be wrong 💜
Masterlist | Masterpost | Scroll my stories on Tumblr | Schedule and WIPs
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Someone called your name and you looked up.
“Come on! Don’t fall behind!”
You gasped mutely and rushed in between the ever-growing crowd to join your friends and coworkers atop the stairs. The line wasn’t too big tonight but you still preferred to stay close to them — no way you wanted to be left alone in a bar street in Itaewon in the middle of the night. You pressed your hands nervously, looking around while your friends laughed about something you didn’t hear. No, you didn’t want that. There could be weird people and drunk people, and you were the designated driver anyway—
“Hey!” 
You blinked at Juhyun through your eyeglasses with big wide brown eyes like a deer caught in headlights.
“Come along!” She sighed, extending her hand so you’d grab it, and you did with relief.
You gave your coat at the reception with a polite head bow, following closely after everyone. The noise hit your ribcage with the force of an alarm, making you grin with gritted teeth but you took a deep breath and hurried along. It wasn’t like you never went out, or had never been there before. SX Seoul had become the preferred club of people working in the industry, and so you found yourself with a vibrating ribcage and sweaty hands every once in a while. However, you did get anxious in crowded loud places like bars and clubs. An elbow sank into your side as you followed after Juhyun and despite the person’s apology and head bow, which you returned, you smiled with a hint of tiredness. The night had just begun.
You got set on the couches, saying hi to everyone you knew who was already there, and smoothly offered to help everyone get drinks. That was an easy way for you to get an alcohol-free drink early on and successfully avoid being offered drinks for a long while.
“Look who’s DJing tonight!”
You had sat near Juhyun after handing her a drink and smiled happily, engaging in light conversation.
“Didn’t you write his breakout music video?”
“Yeah, I did!” 
You smiled politely, a warm fuzzy feeling settling in your stomach — you might have not liked the constant background house beat that had you all screaming to be heard, but you did feel proud of your work. Of every concept you had written, every storyboard you had designed, and every screening you helped with that led you to where you were now — in a creative atmosphere surrounded by like-minded people who just wanted to bring joy and artistry to the world.
As the night continued, you were more and more comfortable, surrounded by people you knew. You didn’t think it could get better, but as soon as Namjoon arrived, you grinned from ear to ear and chuckled at your silliness.
“Hi everyone!” You instantly scooted over and made space for him to sit beside you and join in the conversation, yet as you tried to keep up, he leaned in, “Driving?”
You turned to him and smiled sheepishly, something he returned with a sweetness of his own. You had been friends forever; he knew the answer to his own question.
“Your hair,” he added. 
You blinked then felt for it over your shoulders and chest, trying to see in between psychedelic blinding lights if something had happened to it or something. 
“No! Just— It’s loose!”
You blinked again, pressing your eyeglasses up the bridge of your nose, “Well, yeah.”
He smirked briefly, looking down before facing you again with a gentle puff, “It looks good!”
Your lashes batted once before someone asked for his attention, and just in time. You could feel the heat spreading from your chest to your cheeks and turned to sip at your drink seemingly absentmindedly.
He noticed? You didn’t know why it surprised you so much; Namjoon was an attentive friend. Caring too, he always noticed when something was going wrong or a project was difficult. He always offered to help you out, and you did the same. You had that kind of relationship — friendly and supportive. Of course, that didn’t mean he had to notice your hairstyle for tonight. You had just let go of your usual braids for something more casual — just loose over your shoulders. And now there you were, playing with the long hair locks over your chest like your heart wasn’t fluttering at the simplest interaction.
“Hey! Let’s dance!”
You nodded at Juhyun and got up with a smile that crumbled just a little when Namjoon got up too. He scratched the back of his neck, sheepishly smiling at you and Juhyun.
“You don’t mind if I join you, right?”
“Of course not!”
She had answered for you because yet again you were pressing your lips. Namjoon wasn’t half as bad a dancer as he thought he was and you had all danced together before. Had you blushed then as you did now? You wondered as you beelined to the center of the dancefloor; you couldn’t remember. In the end, it didn’t matter. You smiled as you turned to Namjoon in that circle of people just randomly facing each other in turns. It didn’t have to be anything much, you were just having fun. All of you. It was absolutely fine.
He grabbed your hand and wiggled it for you to pivot and move around and you just laughed and did as told because it was fun. And not a big deal if he didn’t do it to the others, they were busy shouting in each other’s ears anyway.
You felt light and didn’t think it could get better than this when all of a sudden everything became pitch black. The music shut down and suddenly all you could hear was your ears ringing annoyingly and people either shouting or wondering a bit louder than usual about what was going on. It took you a couple of seconds to realize that it couldn’t be normal for a club to just abruptly shut down like that, and it was enough for your anxiety to instantly spike and sting your chest. Yet a pair of arms circled you lightening fast, pressing you safely to a firm chest.
Your cheeks were squished against his pectorals and you could hear a heart racing equally to yours under your ear. A question never formed itself, you knew exactly who was hugging you. It was safe now. You hugged him back and closed your eyes, using his body like an anchor to keep your anxiety from releasing you into the rowdy sea.
Namjoon could hear people getting agitated all around you two, making him squeeze you harder against him. People got nervous in situations like those. They could start running for the exit, pushing and stepping over people without a care if the panic was big enough. And as the absence of music and light continued, mere seconds felt like minutes cracking under the pressure as people became agitated.
He knew crowded places made you anxious. That was how you justified the way he was pressing his lips to the top of your head. It made your already racing heart jump with a foreign feeling, which mixed with his musky cologne had you sweating and not out of nervousness.
A louder shout not so far from you startled you into pressing your fingertips into his lower back and he immediately hugged you tighter. His lips brushed the top of your head again but the agitation around you was too loud, making it impossible to discern what he had said. Yet, regardless, you were safe. You could feel people shifting around you, voices becoming louder, and the occasional glimpse from people's phones. A wave of appreciation and gratitude flooded you, flowing over your anxiety and you unglued your cheek from his shirt to tell him.
His lips pressed lightly atop your cheekbone and your breath caught. His nose had tapped against your eyeglasses and you instinctively squinted though you couldn’t see. None of it bothered you though, on the contrary. Your lips parted in surprise, his thumb dragging across your jawline as if to make sure of where you were in the dark.
You forgot about the world around you. You were suspended in the air, in a trance, waiting for what would happen next, and it happened unexpectedly. His forehead touched yours and you closed your eyes, letting him cradle you sweetly. Little did he know that you could feel no anxiousness now, you were a blank page waiting to be written on.
Or maybe he knew. He didn’t force your chin but he did mutter something while his lips brushed your jawline, and you turned your head. Curiosity, it was all it was. Because you hadn’t heard him, but as your skins brushed, your lips caught the subtle hint of something plush and wet for the tiniest of moments.
You became dizzy and gripped his shirt at the end of his back. Was that what you thought it was? Was that—?
All it took was a millimeter for him to give you the hint that you took without hesitation. His lips pressed to the corner of your mouth and you sighed, eyes scrunching with the tension inside your chest. You were no mind and all instinct when you parted your lips further to get more, just a bit more. All you were ready to do was react, so when it felt like he was about to break away, you closed in.
You were incredibly aware of everything that involved Namjoon. The way his long fingers supported your jawline with a feather-like touch, his short hair falling just above his eyes tickling you where it got to your skin around your eyeglasses, the softest touch of his plush lips as even his breath eased, the gentlest breeze caressing your face whenever you tentatively parted and rejoined like waves kissing the shore.
You were aware of everything, and yet when the lights and music came back on, you were helpless. Namjoon straightened up to look around, trying to figure out what was going on, while you were just looking up at him, gripping him still, trying to figure things out on your own. What was that? What—
“Are you okay?” Juhyun asked right behind you and you jumped in place, startled. You let go of Namjoon, and it was he who answered.
“Yeah, we stayed cool. Are you?”
“Yeah, they pushed around a bit though, geez,” she complained, running a hand through her hair. “What do you think happened?”
“Good question, I don’t know.”
You didn’t hear anything anymore, you were just staring up at him as he talked. Good question. You had no idea either. What happened? Did you really just kiss—
“Listen, if you’re bummed out, that’s okay,” Juhyun shouted above the music, pressing your arm gently. She looked concerned and you tried a smile.
You could guess you looked as befuddled as you felt, “Yeah, I kind of— But I’m your driver!” You shouted instead, remembering your responsibility with a firm shake of your head.
“It’s okay, we’ll catch a taxi!” She shouted with a nod. She knew you were usually anxious; something unnerving like that was surely too much for you. “I’m just worried about you going alone!”
“I’ll go with her,” Namjoon nodded, unwavering, and before you got to say something, Juhyun agreed.
“Take care, text me when you’re home,” she asked you, squeezing your hand once.
You were frowning, about to suggest staying a bit more so you could take her home too when a firmer hand replaced hers. Namjoon returned your gaze, said a quick goodbye with a wave to everyone else, and then pulled you behind him as he made your way out.
Your mind slowly got back on track with every step you took. His hand was firmly wrapped around yours, and despite his wide shoulders in front of you, sheltering you from the chaos, your anxiety guided your thoughts back to the surface with a forced gasp.
What were you doing? Maybe this would turn awkward. You and Namjoon had been good friends for years, you had always counted on him. Maybe that was a mistake, maybe he would be uncomfortable around you now. You didn’t want things to change, you didn’t want to lose his joyful grins, relaxing bicycle rides, and long quiet reading sessions back at his place.
You bowed as you took your coat at the reception and put it on before stepping out into the cold. He was no longer holding your hand, which was holding the coat’s collar to your neck instead. You swallowed and looked down, freezing atop the stairs while you ran by the options and he stepped down ahead of you. You don’t have to leave earlier because of me. I can get home safely by myself. I’m sorry if that was awkward, I—
“Where’s your car?”
You sucked in a breath and told him before turning to walk intently as quickly as possible. The cold was rough on your cheeks, despite the big round lenses of your eyeglasses. You gritted your teeth not to quiver as you stepped carefully over the slippery sidewalk.
When you got to your car, you got in quickly and turned it on to give it time to warm up a bit. Namjoon had followed you inside in silence and was so quiet that his presence could have been buried under your anxiety.
You brushed your flushed cheeks and tried pulling your long hair free, realizing it was trapped between your blouse and the coat. You were so used to having braids that you forgot you needed to tend to your hair properly whenever you put your coat on and now you were stiff and stuck and—
“Easy,” he rasped, reaching to help you and you froze. You glanced up at him and stayed still as he alleviated the tension of the fabric over your shoulders to gently pull your hair out before leaning to repeat the same action on the other side. By then your eyes had lowered to his hands. The way he was handling your dark threads of hair as if it was the most precious silk, worthy of care and attention. “There.”
Your eyes jumped up in time to see him leaning back, a perfectly blank expression making your chest pang in nervousness. You were overthinking again.
“Thanks!” You squeaked, clearing your voice immediately as you leaned forward to reach the GPS screen, “Now, to Joonie’s…”
The drive was easier than you thought it would be. He commented on the cold, and then on what happened at the bar. He had never seen something like that at a bar, only at festivals or concerts. He wondered if the whole street had a power outage or if it was just that room. You mused that if it had been more than just the room, you’d surely hear about it in the news. 
And just like that the car became quiet. Seoul always had traffic, even at 2:52 AM, it was nothing new. So while you comfortably focused on taking him home safely, your thoughts wandered elsewhere.
His lips were the softest thing you had ever touched in your life. Just the delicateness with which you had kissed, you didn’t think you had it in you. Weren’t kisses supposed to be messy? Powerful and passionate? Then how had you touched the pillowy clouds above?
Just remembering it had your guts burning in excitement, and you pressed your lips. Were you making any sense? But you had really done that; hiddenly in the dark, yes, but really. You had acted on your instinct for the first time and gotten a glimpse of the sky. 
You wondered why now. Your friendship was old and comfortable, and he had always been a gentleman, protective but never overbearing. You thought he saw you as a colleague initially and then a friend with similar tastes. You pressed your lips right as you stopped the car in front of his apartment building. One glance at him and you knew that was the same old Namjoon you were used to. Maybe you had dreamed it. Maybe it was supposed to stay a dream.
“Would you like to come up?”
Your eyes jumped and widened, the shock as evident in your expression as a flashing billboard sign.
“I finished the new Murakami,” he continued swiftly, “so you can take it if you want. Or any other book.”
Your lips instantly twitched into a smile, “You finally finished it, then.”
He smirked as you turned off the engine and reached to get your bag, “Finally. You know how I am with his books.”
You nodded and got out of the car, the negative temperature clashing with your blushing cheeks. Yet you only smiled, locked the car, and teased him while you both went inside. Even the ride up the elevator was lighter; you two were back to your eased friendship where you got to poke fun at his annoyance with the repetitiveness of Murakami’s plotlines while enjoying every other detailed introspection he had to offer.
So when you passed the threshold of his apartment, you were as always. You both got your shoes off, though you kept your coat because you weren’t going to stay long. He offered you a drink despite you insisting that it was a quick visit, and as he disappeared into the kitchen to see what he could offer, you beelined to his reading corner.
That space always brought a smile to your face and comfort to your heart. That corner of the living room had a bookshelf from floor to ceiling separated by squared compartments that combined books and small plant pots in a myriad of colors. His most cherished one, however, was the bonsai on the small table next to the gray reading chair and ottoman. He'd let you take up the chair whenever you would read or work at his place, with him preferring the couch so he could stretch his legs more comfortably. You preferred the reading chair because the setting was a mood changer for you and you could use the different shelves to place your open books, especially when designing or writing ideas. Each square was organized in a particular way: some by authors, others by category, or type of work.
“I don’t have much,” you could hear him returning to you. “But I can make tea.”
You shook your head while you crouched, taking a look at your favorite section, “It’s okay, I won’t stay long. Where’s the Murakami?”
“Right here,” his voice sounded from above your head, and you glanced up to see him towering over you, reaching for the book lying by the ledge on the appropriate shelf. He eyed you and you smirked, pushing your eyeglasses up your nose bridge before looking back down. The corners of his lips twitched as he gripped the book inside his hands; he knew you were just happily skimming through your favorite shelf, and that wasn’t the issue. You weren’t the issue, you were— He took a deep shaky breath, “Oh, right, I have another one.”
He placed the Murakami book on the small table and left your side in the direction of his bedroom, you noticed. You pressed your lips and got up, grabbing the book he was holding just now. Blood was rushing to your cheeks and you took a short breath to ease yourself. You were there just to grab that book. You were alone at Namjoon’s, and that had happened hundreds of times before. Not that you had ever kissed before, but you could be cool. It was in the dark anyway. Conceptually, if you were thinking of the outline of a music video, that meant it was a secret. You could keep a secret. You could pretend it never happened.
Overhearing his steps pulled you from the depths of your thoughts to check what he had in his hands.
“Here,” he grinned, showing it to you. 
It was a book and you gasped before you grabbed it. The cover had the digital drawing of a little girl on her bed, not lying down, but facing the wall behind her that had become an ocean with sparkling rays floating above. The title read, ‘Windows to Worlds: The Art of Devin Elle Kurtz’. You thought the name rang a bell as you opened and skimmed through it. 
“I thought of you,” he smiled, dimples sinking sweetly into his cheeks at your interested demeanor.
“Woah, her use of color and lighting looks absolutely astounding,” you breathed, alternating between gasping and stopping your breath altogether with each new page.
“I’m glad you like it.”
“But why did you get it?” You finally caught up, looking up at him. “Because I was struggling with lighting?”
Your tone was appreciative and almost savvy as if you knew you had guessed his intent correctly. Yet he shook his head once, “Because of the braids.”
You lowered your eyes to the cover again and indeed, the little girl had two braids, much like you usually sported. You smiled, “Do you think she has eyeglasses too?”
“Maybe,” he acceded, nodding with ease.
You looked back down at the cover — the girl had her palms against the glass as if she was staring into a new magical world. It brought warmth to your chest. Not just because it was beautiful or because it was going to help you, but because Namjoon saw some of it in you.
You pressed the books to your chest, facing him to thank him when your smile fell. His expression had lost some of its casualness and you were immediately flooded with apprehension.
“Are we going to talk about it?”
His tone was so gentle it brought tears to your eyes. It was Namjoon. All of it, all of your doubts and anxiety were about one of the most important people in your life. Who cared how you might have felt; you absolutely could not jeopardize your friendship.
“I’m sorry,” you breathed so sincerely your voice shook.
“Oh.”
“I… It was…”
Your gaze was on the floor around his feet on the white carpet as you tried to find words. You half expected him to move or make things less awkward with his spirited humor, but he waited.
So you said what came to mind, “An accident. Right? It was an accident,” you repeated, ignoring the heat making your eyeglasses fog ever so slightly. “It was dark and…”
You sucked in a breath and pushed your eyeglasses up your nose bridge to soothe yourself, and froze when he nodded slowly.
“I… can’t call it an accident.”
Your eyes widened impossibly, “But— But then— I mean,” you blinked, “that would mean…”
You were just stammering and he smiled, “Yes. I don’t just— I wouldn’t just—” He smirked, scratching the back of his head, “I’d be lying if I said—”
His voice got caught inside his throat. You were looking up at him with eyes so big he feared they’d pop or something. He thought he was ready to talk about it and get it out in the open but— Were you even breathing?
“You know what? Never mind,” he shrugged, with a smile that pressed his plush lips too thin.
Your eyes widened even more, “No—” You almost choked from your impulse and instinctively stepped back, and everything went dark.
You held your breath as if you had been caught in a trap. You could have been back at the club, but there was no crowd, no fear, and no pressure. There was light still shining from his bedroom, reassuringly outlining his silhouette. You were safe, just like then. And it formed the words out of your mouth.
“I can't call it an accident either,” you confessed, and instantly your shoulders relaxed. He didn’t move and you couldn’t see him, but you knew him. You knew of his presence and the way he would never judge or hurt you. “I kissed you back.”
The silence continued between you but you found comfort in it. It was as though you had time to process, to put yourself back in your shoes moments earlier when exactly like that, in the dark, you let something from deep within surface.
“I was… curious,” you voiced quietly.
“Curious?”
“What would you… feel like? How would you…” you were getting lost and closed your eyes. You could almost feel him again, his warmth, his scent, the firmness of his arms around you, helping you levitate safely into the clouds. Your eyes opened at the sound of a footstep and you instantly flushed, “I mean, I— I’m sorry, I—”
“No, don't say sorry.” His outline drew closer until he stopped right in front of you. “You were curious about that?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
Why was your heart racing so fast? You were so hot that you knew for a fact your eyeglasses were fogging, despite not being able to see it. You swallowed and fanned your face a little, self-conscious about your hands becoming sweaty and dirtying the books.
Yet as you tried to calm down, you realized silence was stretching. He was waiting, of course, gentlemanly as he was. And you were embarrassed but in the dark, you also wanted to be brave.
“I liked it.”
You left it there, your sincere answer to his question. Your heart was thrumming wildly but you were not half as nervous as you thought you’d be.
“I liked it too.”
Your breath caught as you looked up despite barely seeing a silhouette. What?
“Would you do it again?”
“Now?” Your voice pitched.
“Yes.”
“Yes?” Your tone was inquisitive, but it was more out of shock that he said yes. You were heating up so much you didn’t think you were processing thoughts logically, and you weren’t. Your head was blank, “Yes.”
It felt like an eternity, but you knew that wasn’t true. You were just too eager to see what happened next, to feel him again and check if your head would be caught spinning as you floated away to the clouds again.
The books in your hands disappeared quickly, only the sound of them hitting the table told you their fate, and not that you cared. His breath was fanning your face and your head instantly fell back, tapping the wall as your lips parted and you waited for what you wanted most.
When it didn’t instantly come, you had no issues soothing his hesitation by guiding his hands to your jaw. You wanted him to know where you were; exactly there, between the wall and his safe embrace, waiting. 
Finally, his breath was so close it fully stopped when your lips locked together in a feather-like touch, and you moved. You pressed yourself closer, brushing his lips so you’d match completely. Your mouth dove into a sweeter taste, fingers tracing up his neck tentatively to grasp that feeling. And he let you, falling in with you, leaning into you as far as you’d let him.
Your lips parted in an invitation that he took promptly, leaving a wet trace on your bottom lip before he committed. You sighed into his mouth, gripping his shirt to pull him closer. He could reach into you and all around you; you were falling. There was an expanse behind and all around you and it reminded you of free falling; it was probably what skydiving felt like. Only you weren’t nearing the ground but going further from it. That sky was about to catch you; a sweet, soft, endearing sky about to clasp you affectionately and carry you into a dream.
You only stopped because he pulled back, kissing the tip of your nose before pressing his lips to your cheek. It was when you noticed that you two fit together like puzzle pieces, with your fingers buried in the nape of his neck, his into your lower back, your breaths mixing as your legs intertwined.
His breath was heavy against your warm cheek, “This can stay here. In the dark. If you want.”
You were too far to recognize the concern in his voice, “Is that what you want?”
“No,” his reply was instant, a subtle shake of his head as his lips dragged over your heated skin. “No, I'm curious about way more than this.”
You opened your eyes, eager to see in him what he meant, but the darkness hid his expression. It protected you, yes, but now, it made you uneasy. There was a moment when it had soothed your fears, maybe even made you brave, but now it was enough.
“Would turning the light on bother you?”
You felt his smile before he pulled away, “Not at all.”
His hands were still supporting your waist as you felt the wall behind you until you flipped the switch. You shut your eyes instantly with a grimace and knew he had done the same.
“Sorry,” you whispered.
You couldn’t see it, but he smirked, “I told you you could.”
His eyes opened first, eager to bypass the sudden sensibility so he could look at you as soon as possible. Your eyes and nose were still scrunched, your eyeglasses had fallen lower on your nose than you liked normally, and the top of your cheeks was beautifully blushed. He didn’t resist cupping your cheek to brush his thumb over the red hue and your eyes opened, looking up at him over your eyeglasses. You were so close to each other but you couldn’t look or move away.
“You’re so beautiful,” he breathed, eyes set on yours as if he were seeing stars.
“How can you see anything, we’re so close,” you whined with a huff.
He chuckled, “Yeah?”
You pouted; your eyeglasses were falling down your nose bridge again, and he grinned. He was so unbelievably happy right now, and as you pressed the eyeglasses further up, he wished it would never end.
“Is it…” you were quiet, “better like this?”
“Much better,” he assured confidently, looking into your eyes intently. 
Every time you blinked, wherever you glanced, he kept his cool and tried holding his fear in check — what if you suddenly pushed him away, became uneasy, or regretted this? 
Yet your eyes fixed on his as your hand returned gently to the side of his neck, “You said… you’re curious about more?”
He couldn’t breathe, “Yes.”
“What… does that mean?”
Your voice was a thread and he swore he became dizzy, “You. I—” His lips twitched as he found words, “I want to be with you.”
He settled on that simple fact and shushed his racing heart. It was too soon to confess how long he had been thinking about this, how far he had fallen, and how deeply sure he was that there was no one else he wanted. Nowhere else he wanted to go, no other person who could be home, no other soul he wanted to share his time with. Shit, this was not the time for a love confession.
“Not in the dark,” you mused, thinking back. “But here,” you searched his eyes with a light line between your eyebrows. “Do you want that? To be… a moment of—”
“No,” he interrupted firmly, making sure that every point you touched each other conveyed that. “I want more than a moment, than one night, than a place, than— No,” he breathed. “I want so much more.”
You weren’t sure there was any reaction you could have given because you were floating again. His arms were around you, his mouth speaking words you had long wished to hear, and you waited. It felt like the right thing to do; you just waited for him to become so much more.
“And you?” He asked after waiting to hear your thoughts. “How far would you take this?”
You almost choked with your instant answer, “All the way.”
His eyebrows jumped before his expression scrunched into a rapturous smile, and you filled your chest with air. You needed it, you needed a big deep breath before the dive. When his forehead touched yours, you stayed close, eyes half-hooding, waiting, and ready. You had been ready for a while, all there was left to do now was fly.
You were waiting for his kiss when he grabbed your head, both of you eager and gentle in your grip on the other. His lips were as soft as before but now he was pressing harder, searching for something in the depths of your kiss, and you met him halfway. There was the passion you had thought of before, making your skin pucker as your breathing dragged. It was curious how you were so focused on every little detail of his — his jawline moving under your fingertips, the soft skin at the column of his neck, his wide shoulders where your arms found support to press him closer to you — but had no actual thoughts. Every brush of his lips had you sinking further, every lick of his tongue had you immersed until his hands were pulling you to him and barely letting you touch the ground.
When your feet did touch the ground you lost your balance a little and inadvertently fell into him, which had him feeling behind him to make sure he could sit down. Your lips parted and he looked up at you, hands supportive but not pressuring you. He waited for you to decide if you’d follow him or not, and you didn’t hesitate. You raised a knee to his outer thigh and he instantly supported it, helping you to straddle him effortlessly before he leaned back into the reading chair.
You towered over him a little bit and as he hugged you close, you couldn’t help remembering how many times you had sat in that same chair just to read. Now he was there with you, under you, kissing your neck gently, and you kissed his head with the excitement bubbling under your skin. This was really happening, you could barely contain yourself.
He pressed you to sit closer to him and you guided him to look up just so you could dive into his kiss again. His skin was so soft, his touch so gentle as he let you steer your mouths until your head started spinning. You went deeper with every kiss, and with every sparkle, you became daring. Your fingers laced around his hair, your breaths one and the same as your hips moved on their own accord to fuse you two in any way possible. Your instinct was taking over, regardless of how you ground against him or leaned into him as if it would merge you two together.
You were hot and breathless when you felt a hint of his fingertips brushing the skin at your lower back, and instinctively you pulled back. He looked up at you, instantly wary of mistakenly crossing a line, but in a rustle of clothes, your blouse went up and away, thrown on the floor.
You faced him then, the goosebumps forming on your skin wherever his fingertips brushed your back as you seemed to exude heat. Not even for a moment did you wonder if you were going too far, despite being in a bra only in front of him. Rather you eyed his shirt and pouted, and he got it; in a second it was gone too.
Your lips twitched as you stroked down his neck, over his clavicles, and to his wide shoulders. You knew he’d be perfect, you knew you’d go well beyond liking every inch of him, but reality was far sweeter than your imagination. Before you could lean in and kiss every inch, he beat you to it. His pillowy lips grazed over the expanse of your neck before lowering down your chest and you sank your nails on his shoulders. It was the lightness of his touch, the warmth of his breath contrasting with his tongue as he explored everything until he dared lower. He moved slowly, maybe hesitated, and your hand darting to the back of his head to support him eased him.
He kissed and nuzzled every inch of your chest then settled over your sternum, breathing you in between your breasts just above the center gore. You knew why he stopped, but you were riding the shivers and throbs his every breath drew out of you, and you didn’t want it to stop. You reached behind you and unclasped the bra, letting the straps slide off your arms while you held his gaze. Yes, you wanted to do this. Yes, you wanted him to touch you, to know how he—
His hands over your waist raised to cup your breasts and rub your nipples and you shivered, goosebumps covering you from head to toe. The more he brushed over the hardened tips, the less control you had over a deep whine wanting to escape your lips.
You were biting your lip in this sweet struggle when he glanced up at you before leaning in to take one inside his mouth, and you whined. Your hips bucked over him, drawing closer while your cries grew and expanded with every lick of his tongue. You were grinding hard on him now, unaware of how unruly you were being. Your cries just needed to be heard, your hunger satiated as you searched for friction and wondered why it wasn’t as intense as it should be.
Your chest was wet by the time he parted his mouth from the delicate skin, but you didn’t have time to think about it. His hands gripped your hips to press you closer, and you jumped out of his arms in a mix of outrage and eagerness. 
So that was why you couldn’t feel him properly, you concluded, as you unbuttoned your jeans. Of course, how stupid. At least it was easily fixed.
You only stopped when your clothes hit the floor. His eyes locked with yours and you hesitated. You were totally naked in your eagerness, maybe you were going too fast. But his hands guiding yours to his shoulders before he leaned in to kiss over your tummy made you realize you were being silly. His eyes were glistening, looking up at you before closing to enjoy the taste of your skin, his cheeks were red, and despite his pants, the tent was very visible. 
You wanted to be close so you raised your knee again, and once more he guided you to straddle him. He kissed quickly up your chest before eying your mouth, and you obliged. Kissing him like this was more vulnerable, open, and raw, but you wanted to. His fingertips stroked your sides softly downwards and you sighed into his mouth, gripping him closer. You wanted so much more.
His hands settled atop your hips and it made you whine and wiggle so they would move. It didn’t occur to you to separate your mouths and tell him to touch you; in fact, no thoughts were occurring to you. He seemed to hesitate on where to go while palming your hips, and in the end, it was your hand that guided him to where you wanted him. You froze amidst your kiss, mouth agape as your eyes opened when his fingers skimmed your sex. A shiver ran down your spine, your breath halting as you waited for him. His eyes were set on you, carefully taking in your expression as he dared to brush lower, exploring down your mound, around your hooded clit, and gently over your folds before retracing his steps.
A strangled quiet moan had you closing your eyes to get lost. His fingers were drawing circles over your clit, ever so gently, prodding how to please you without hurting you, and you sank your nails into the back of his neck. You could worship that man now — it was all you knew as you looked at him between half-hooded eyes. Every circle brought a spark, a throb, a buck of your hips until the tension inside you made you jump away from his touch. You kissed him hard then, grabbing his head desperately — you wanted him, not just his hand.
You reached between your bodies to cup his bulge and he choked in your kiss. You pressed harder, too curious to let him breathe or get away, and searched for a way to open his pants, but it was difficult without looking. Fortunately, he understood perfectly what you wanted and got to it.
He raised you off his lap for the single moment it took him to squirm and slide his clothes down his legs before settling you over him again. His skin was burning hot against your inner thighs and as you kissed him, you imagined it was because he wanted you the same way.
You reached again for him and this time there were no barriers. You felt his hard length gently, caressing its soft skin carefully before stroking him against your palm.
He grunted into your cheek; your lips had parted so you both could focus on those new sensations. Something wet was making it easier to stroke him and press the head gently, with every movement earning you something, whether a groan, a sigh, a twitch of his fingers over your hips, or more precum.
You loved seeing and hearing every reaction, but you didn’t want to wait. You were tense and overheating, and that hard cock in your hand belonged somewhere else.
You moved on your knees to straddle him closer, positioning yourself with nothing but the intention to feel him, but you paused. Before the sight of the pink swollen tip at your entrance could steal your logic, you looked at him with an implied question. He nodded with glistening eyes, hands gripping a bit more of your ass to convey just how much he wanted this. And so you leaned to touch your foreheads before you guided him inside you.
You were unbelievably wet but still, it took a moment for him to become coated enough to slide in without any attrition. It felt like a trial and error; every time you tried sitting lower, there was resistance, and so you raised yourself and tried again. And again and again, with his fingers sinking into your skin as he hid his scrunched-up expression. Your eyebrows were knitted too, especially when he hit a particular spot, and soon he bottomed out.
You wiggled a little to make room, your tension gripping him inside you so hard that both of you groaned. You bucked your hips over him and sighed before reaching back, taking support on his legs. The hunger in his glistening eyes as he observed you taking your pleasure from him was like straight out of a dream, except he was really there, stretching you to the edge, bubbling a tension up your spine so good you knew you wouldn’t last a minute.
So you leaned forward again, palming the expanse of his chest as you let the fluttering subside for a bit. A smile bloomed on your lips as he reached to kiss your skin, supporting you closely while he grazed up your neck. Yet as it had blossomed, your smile faded when your eyebrows knitted further and your pleasure sunk in your gut. He had taken a firmer grip of you and used his leverage to thrust his hips up and into you, successfully crumbling whatever excuse of a restraint you had.
You moaned unreservedly and as he pulled away to face you without relenting, you met him with glistening eyes. It wasn’t a betrayal but because of him, you couldn’t hold back. He understood; he told you with a nod as he tried keeping the rhythm steady for you. So you hugged him to you and let the pleasure spike once, twice, until a moan burst out of you with the knot in your lower gut releasing the tension.
However long it lasted, it was long. It left you powerless and radiating heat like a furnace, only he was even hotter than you. He was sweaty under your arms and legs as you embraced him, and it mixed with your wetness and cum, but you didn’t care.
He waited for you to pull away and kiss his humid forehead before he asked, “Can I take you to bed?”
“Yes,” you sighed, still up high in your haze.
He could tell how languid you were so he picked you up carefully, hugging your legs around his waist and supporting your lower back. His heart was racing as he carried you, not because he was afraid of dropping you — no way in hell that would ever happen — but because this was really happening. He was really carrying your naked body across his apartment, your sweaty bodies pressed together after you reached your pleasure in his arms only for him to take you to bed and continue to show you how much he cared for you. He sighted the bed when your limbs squeezed him more firmly and he smiled from ear to ear. It was like carrying a koala bear who didn’t want to let go of him, and he loved that.
He sat on the bed with you on his lap before carefully supporting your back so he could lay you down gently while hovering over you and you finally blinked. 
Your senses were coming back; Namjoon was over you, caging you between his biceps while your legs laced around him. He was inside you, and even if you had forgotten, he reminded you when he moved tentatively. Your eyes were set on his, and that was how you saw the concern crossing them, and you blinked again. You and him were connected like you had only ever dreamed, and it was good. You reached to cup his cheeks and guide his mouth to yours; you wanted him to know that. That you knew what you were doing, with whom, and how, and your heart was completely in it.
If he wasn’t kissing your lips, then he was pecking the tip of your nose, grazing your cheeks, or brushing down the column of your neck as his hips gained speed. You raised yours to feel him as deep as possible, and as you held onto him, you let the emotions flood you. The safety of his arms, the completeness as he filled up all the gaps, the nurture of every tender kiss, the shared warmth, tension, and torture of your bodies rocking together. You were meshed inextricably in an ascent that you had never dared to imagine, and you grabbed him even harder, in case the intensity had you floating away.
Your voice had a life of its own; every time he sank further into you, your soul expanded. Every time he buried himself inside you, your moan released into his ear, and over and over again as he hid in your neck, revering you in all the ways he could.
“You feel so good,” he rasped against your throat, and against all odds you heard it in between moans. Maybe because he was slowing down. He pulled away to face you so closely you saw him blurred despite your eyeglasses, “I don't want it to end.”
Your eyes widened and watered but no words came out in time; he pressed your lips sweetly and you buried your fingers in his hair, feeling your heart swelling with every beat. He restarted his hips, guided by your legs pressing him into you, and you thought that nothing else mattered than him knowing. You also didn’t want it to end, you wanted to stay with him forever, linked, safe, accepted, hidden from anything that wasn’t blissful peace, and happiness.
His hips snapping into yours brought groans, moans, and whines out of the both of you, with wet sloppy sounds echoing in the bedroom along with the slaps of skins colliding. It became fast, forcing you to wrap your limbs around him firmly to never miss any sensation he could give you until you tensed unbelievably.
You surrendered to your climax immediately, letting it wash over you as you throbbed and reveled in scream-inducing spasms. He grunted and swore into your neck, but to your surprise, he didn’t come with you. On the contrary, suddenly you could feel his intent to pull out so you crossed your legs behind him and searched for his ear so you could tell him, “Inside me. Stay inside me.”
He groaned and you rocked with him, keen on extending both your pleasure as much as possible when he twitched inside you. You closed your eyes and his lips immediately caught yours. He kissed you with every peak, groaning into your mouth at every turn, making you shudder.
He stilled and you kept petting his damp hair at the back of his head, slowly waiting for both your hearts to calm down. You couldn’t believe what just happened yet at the same time it was as natural as breathing.
Finally, he moved from the crook of your neck and faced you. A single drop of sweat dripped along his nose to the tip and you caught it with your fingertip. He nuzzled you then, recovering his breath with a tender smile, and you smiled back.
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sunnythanalan ¡ 6 months ago
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One of the best
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I have been thinking about Erenville a lot and how the narrative allows us to really get to know him through the quiet moments. Through action rather than spoken words.
His mother calls him a fussy little bunbun, which is funny to begin with as we know him so far to be a taciturn and practical man. But while we travel with him we discover that he has suffered abandonment all throughout his life; first by his mother leaving him in care of others as she traveled herself, then by sending him away on his own travels, then further upon his return when there is a literal screen between them. The symbolism here is unmistakable. 
Then, as we progress, it becomes quite clear that Erenville suspects that there’s something wrong with his mother. Instantly he’s on the defensive, citing that her whimsy and overwhelming personality always overshadow his own wishes, and that he struggles to understand her, also to trust her. His quiet stoicism isn’t that funny anymore. 
In an ironic twist we discover that she has left him one last time, to the land of Living Memory. Even if it was never her intention to leave him in such a way, it must be hard to overcome that sense of continuous abandonment - and this time he has to say goodbye forever. That he draws away from everyone else to grieve and come to terms with this in solitude speaks volumes. It really indicates that he dealt with difficult emotions alone a lot while growing up, and in such a way he never learned how to rely on others. In the end, when finally pressed to the breaking point, Erenville lashes out in anger as the tools he made for himself fails him in processing all of his grief and fear alone. He has to find the courage to trust his mother with his emotions and that just as she's leaving him one last time.
Wuk Lamat is always right there in your face going through her emotions and leaning upon others for support, on the other side is Erenville, who draws back with his pain. We learn to know him just as deeply as Wuk Lamat, but through everything that isn’t said, rather than what is said. In fear of sounding effusive, even their appearance symbolises this: they're golden dawn and darkening dusk. Two sides of the same coin.
Honestly, personally to me, Erenville is one of the best written characters in this story so far. I love him deeply. I cried so hard for him.
PS. His love for his mother becomes so clear in the love he pours into the fauna that she mentored him in. While working as a gleaner, he's probably as close to her as he can be when she's physically not there. In the moments we see him care for animals his entire countenance changes, he becomes soft and caring, even exuberant and joyful.
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bwat5-blog ¡ 1 month ago
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Caitlyn Kiramman's Strength
**Spoiler warning for all of arcane**
“You will never rest knowing that she’s out there. Or maybe I underestimated you. Maybe you have the strength I do not. To forgive, and trust in tomorrow”- Ambessa
Caitlyn's commander arc has been a HEAVY topic of debate. I have written plenty as have many others. I am writing this after reading a wonderful exchange between some other users who added even more to my understanding of this story.
For my purposes today, I am thinking about Caitlyn's strength. The question of true strength is one pursued in many ways throughout this story. Vi learning she deserves to be loved for more than the strength of her arm, Huck explaining to Caitlyn that he became addicted to shimmer because he just wanted for someone else to be afraid for once. So what of Caitlyn? Her strength to achieve, is the strength to forgive.
There are many kinds of strength. Caitlyn is agile, and a great fighter. Her mind is sharp and creative. Even as a rookie enforcer she has the force of will to follow a mysterious tattooed Zaunite into the undercity, never knowing how her life would change. What she would lose, and what she would gain.
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People have made many ham-handed attempts at demonizing Caitlyn's character arc in season 2. Their failure to grasp the ways in which grief can warp us is their cross to bear. In Caitlyn's story, we watch as a kind, clever, idealistic and brave young woman is terrorized and almost murdered by wanted terrorist, only to watch helplessly as her mother falls to the same killer. Because remember my friends it's easy for us to look at Jinx's actions and try for understanding. We were there when Powder was a scared little girl holding her sisters hand on that bridge. Caitlyn wasn't. And in a span of mere days, all for the crime of believing she could make a difference, her reality is violently transformed in front of her.
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This show gives us many depictions of the illusion of strength. My mind goes to the breaking of Powder and creation of JInx, in which Silco lauds the strength she has achieved by "letting Powder die". When the truth is that no matter how strong her body has become, her mind has only grown more fractured.
Caitlyn's takes control of her house. She demands her seat at the council, and forms a strike team to go into Zaun all of her own accord where they actively engage in combat against the Chem Barons. Strength? On the surface yes. But the unfortunately reality is that she is not an agent of law and order, bringing peace and safety to troubled streets. She is on a crusade. And with every step she takes down that road, she destroys more and more of what really matters to her, until even the woman she loves lays heartbroken and alone. All culminating in her glorious rise to Commander. Strength..
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It is during this bleak time in Caitlyn's story, that she and Ambessa have a conversation. Caitlyn is questioning the Noxian's brutal tactics, and if the ongoing occupation of Zaun is really worth it anymore. Ambessa says the quote at the top to remind her of her rage.. and of her fear.
“You will never rest knowing that she’s out there. Or maybe I underestimated you. Maybe you have the strength I do not. To forgive, and trust in tomorrow”
And it works! For the time being. Because what neither of them could have known is Caitlyn was soon to be reunited with the woman who reminded her of inner strength. The woman who believed in her, who supported her, who sacrificed for her. Who at the moment of their reuniting, even with that emotional chasm between them and all of Caitlyn's wrongs known, trusts Caitlyn to save her father.
Trust... that single word from someone so important to her and Caitlyn begins to find herself again. Ambessa taught her to kill, to trick, to oppress and debilitate. Caitlyn's physical body growing stronger and more dangerous while her soul was buried deeper and deeper beneath the waves. But it was not until Vi was still willing to believe in her, to give her a second chance, that she truly began to breathe again.
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It is in this time, that Caitlyn's true strength emerges. When face to face with the woman she knows captured her heart, and who calls her to account, the question of who deserves who gets a second chance is left in the air. What Jinx took from Caitlyn cannot be undone. And Vi is not asking her to love Jinx, or to love what she did. She is asking her to let go of the hatred, and the fear, and the pain. To live not just for Jinx's benefit but for Caitlyn herself as well. To carry the same strength in her heart that Vi demonstrated by telling her about Vander. And in so doing, for the sake of herself, and the woman she loves, Caitlyn sets aside that rage, and opens the way for them all to start healing.
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Our story ends with Vi, and Caitlyn enjoying a quiet moment together. Violet's journey was never about physical strength, but about the strength to admit she deserves to feel loved, and protected, and safe. To know that she is worth more to her partner than the strength of her arm. Caitlyn was almost swallowed by her darkness, never having been more alone than when she was one of the most powerful people in the city. Now here, at the end of things, it is because she found the strength to forgive the person who wronged her, and in aspiring to be the person Vi deserves has begun to forgive herself, that she finds peace.
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