#for context the first chapter of one for the money went up on May 3 and the last chapter went up on May 28th

[cowgurrrl]

I fear im going to hit oftm type productivity with this combination of H&C and this Javi fic that’s brewing

[ruanbaijie]

During the Republican Era, Shen Zhiheng, a member of the Tianjin gentry who happened to be a vampire, offended the Japanese and became the target of an assassination attempt. He was saved by a blind young lady, Mi Lan, and his best friend Situ Weilian. When he went to repay Mi Lan for saving him, he discovered the terrible family situation that Mi Lan was in, and so began to pay more attention to her. Meanwhile, Shen Zhiheng’s plan to take revenge on Li Yingliang, the mastermind behind his assassination, fell short of success thanks to Li Yingliang’s Japanese superior, raising suspicions about his identity. Since then, Li Yingliang and the Japanese were in hot pursuit of Shen Zhiheng, determined to dig out the truth about his secret.

Binged Snowfall, fell absolutely in love with it, finished the novel, and decided to try my hand at my very first proper translation project 🥹

Please do not repost this anywhere else or retranslate it! For different sentences/ phrases, I’ve chosen to either translate close to the original Chinese phrase or to replace it with something that is more commonly understood in English, depending on the context. Retranslating this English translation to another language may further dilute the original Chinese meaning.

Translation footnotes will be available at the end of each chapter for any words/ phrases I feel need a more detailed explanation of nuances.

MAIN DIRECTORY ☾ READ ON AO3

Shen Zhiheng [1] could be considered a good person, in fact, a relatively decent one at that.

He was in his late twenties at least, or his early thirties at most, in any case, he was in the prime of his life. His looks were also of a decent calibre: he was tall, like a clothes rack, and was even more sophisticated in his dressing, always in a proper suit, as if he could stand behind a glass window at any time and pretend to be a mannequin.

Not only was his personal appearance already of such a level of perfection, his assets and wealth were also abundant. Although his origins were a bit of a mystery, within the Beiping [2] and Tianjin region, he had started by investing in newspaper companies to make a fortune. After that, with his shrewd acumen for finance, he had spread his investments everywhere, using money to make more money, and had rapidly become famous in Tianjin. Beyond his wealth, he also published poems and essays frequently in the newspapers. Although some said that those poems and essays were ghostwritten, but there was really no need to nitpick over such an issue. As long as everyone knew that he was both talented and rich, both handsome and wealthy, that was enough.

Now that he had both money and time, and that he was a major investor of several large newspapers, two of which were in the concession zones, he could rely on the support of his English, French, and American friends, and even on the gangs to have his back. The newspapers he supported had nothing to fear, daring to publish any piece of news, to scold any person, and had even offended the Japanese this year.

The Japanese themselves did not understand how far his resources reached, that he could actually dig up their political secrets, and after that, publish those secrets directly in the newspapers instead of making use of them to enter negotiations with the Japanese. This caused a societal uproar, and even a few student protests. And because they could not get a grasp on his social connections, the Japanese did not dare to fall out with him. Instead, they first tried to dangle carrots in front of him, trying to use benefits and sentiments to move him. Little did they know that Shen Zhiheng was a cold-hearted young gentleman with no lack of money, and who entirely could not be moved. This caused a certain Commissioner Yokoyama Akira [3] to be very annoyed, as if he were playing a game of unrequited love and had been met with complete ignorance, to his complete humiliation.

Annoyed, the commissioner wanted to have Shen Zhiheng killed. Actually, Shen Zhiheng also knew that there was a possibility that the commissioner wanted to have him killed. However, in recent years, his life had been smooth sailing, too smooth, that it caused him to be blindly positive, and not take this possibility seriously. It was to the extent that when the commissioner decided to make his move, Shen Zhiheng was still absentmindedly making public appearances. As he had in previous years, he organised a charity event, where he gave the local beggars a cotton-padded jacket and five cents each.

Everyone thought that Shen Zhiheng was a good person, and on this point, Shen Zhiheng agreed with them. He also thought that he was not bad, at least he could live up to the word “good”. The only unresolved question: he didn’t know if he could be considered a person [4] or not.

Fortunately, this was not too urgent a question. After all, compared to everyone else, he looked even more like a human, and at least for the time being, he wouldn’t go so far as to say that he would be treated as a demon and burned to death. Besides, this question was not necessarily unsolvable. For close to ten years, Shen Zhiheng had been pretending to be human and flourishing, and he believed that he could find the answer for himself.

Unfortunately, this night, while he was on his way home, the self-confident Shen Zhiheng accidentally had his head blasted, and then even ground to pulp by a car.

Mr. Shen wanted to cry yet simply had no tears left, and very nearly died from agony.

------------------------------------------------------------

In the original novel, the characters for Shen Zhiheng’s name are 沈之恒, which differs from the 沈之衡 used in the drama. Both 恒 and 衡 are pronounced as ��héng”. However, while the former means “lasting” or “constant”, the latter means “to judge” or “to measure”, or to refer to something that is balanced. However, in certain scenes of the drama, Shen Zhiheng’s name is still written as 沈之恒, although the subtitles and drama marketing materials use 沈之衡.

What Beijing was called from 1928.

The Kanji characters of Yokoyama Akira are 横山 瑛, which in Mandarin Chinese pronunciation, is “héng shān yīng”, with “Hengshan” being his surname and “Ying” being his given name. In the show, as the Japanese people have been replaced with Chinese people instead, Yokoyama Akira is now Chi Shanying 池山英 “chí shān yīng”, with “Chi” being his surname and “Shanying” being his given name.

As in “human”. The Chinese character 人 (rén) can refer to both a person as an individual, or a human as in a human being.

[princeofgod-2021]

LIGHT OF LIFE 336

John 1:4

WHERE WE MUST DRAW LINES 18 – SHEEP AND GOATS 2

Mat 25:31-33 "WHEN THE SON OF MAN COMES IN HIS GLORY AND ALL HIS ANGELS ARE WITH HIM, he will sit on HIS GLORIOUS THRONE. THE PEOPLE OF EVERY NATION WILL BE GATHERED IN FRONT OF HIM. HE WILL SEPARATE THEM AS A SHEPHERD SEPARATES THE SHEEP FROM THE GOATS. HE WILL PUT THE SHEEP ON HIS RIGHT BUT THE GOATS ON HIS LEFT.GW

Now, I want us to focus on our opening Vs here because I have questions: was Jesus talking about the whole world or just Christians from all over the world?

I mean, would He expect such services from the general world in the first place?

These led me to closely inspect Matthew chapter 25.

Mat 25:1-2 Then THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN WILL BE LIKE TEN VIRGINS, THE FRIENDS OF THE BRIDE, who took their lights, and went out with the purpose of meeting the husband. AND FIVE OF THEM WERE FOOLISH, AND FIVE WERE WISE. BBE

Matthew 25 is about the comings of Christ, with parables showing 3 WAYS that God will SEPARATE People at the end of ages.

The 1st part (Mat 25:1-13) presents the 10 Virgins just before Rapture, meaning that these were all purified and worthy of God’s reception, but there was an issue.

Mat 25:3-4 THE FOOLISH ONES TOOK THEIR LAMPS, BUT NO EXTRA OIL. The ones who were wise took along extra oil for their lamps. CEV

Half of [even] those who are pure, could forfeit their chance of access simply by not being filled with the Holy spirit.

We’ve spoken about “Loving the Appearance” of Jesus. If you are not excited enough to long for Him and do all to accelerate the 2nd coming, you may not “meet up”.

Joh 6:63 IT IS THE SPIRIT THAT MAKES ALIVE, the flesh profits nothing. The words that I speak to you are spirit and are life. MKJV

On the day of Rapture, we have to be filled with the Holy Ghost because Rapture is purely a spiritual activation: The Spirit will only quicken what is spiritual and actively responsive.

Therefore, a line is drawn between the seriously passionate and the unserious. You can only be on one side.

Pro 27:17 AS ONE PIECE OF IRON SHARPENS ANOTHER, so friends keep each other sharp. ERV

Mat 25:14-30 now – in another context – discussed the Reward and judgment of [called] believers, and based on their “Service delivery & dedication”.

The one who does nothing, is separated and thrown to hell.

Mat 25:28-30 Now, take the money away from him and give it to the one who has ten thousand coins. For to every person who has something, even more will be given, and he will have more than enough; but the person who has nothing, even the little that he has will be taken away from him. AS FOR THIS USELESS SERVANT—THROW HIM OUTSIDE IN THE DARKNESS; there he will cry and gnash his teeth.' GNB

Zero productivity not only means zero reward, but such can’t be put in the same place with those who have produced much. They have to be separated because jealousy will definitely arise later.

Now comes the final analysis: Separating the Sheep from Goats; facing the rest of the world.

This looks like the Final Judgment of the world. Let’s see if we can find a collaboration in scriptures.

Rev 20:11-12 And I SAW A GREAT WHITE THRONE, AND HIM THAT SAT ON IT, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away; and there was found no place for them. AND I SAW THE DEAD, SMALL AND GREAT, STAND BEFORE GOD; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works. KJV

It is obvious this Judgment is [now] about every single human left then: all unregenerated, since rapture had already taken place before now.

But if so, how could he get any Sheep from that crowd?

Rev 20:4 And I saw high seats, and they were seated on them, and the right of judging was given to them: and I saw the souls of those who were put to death for the witness of Jesus, and for the word of God, and those who did not give worship to the beast, or to his image, and had not his mark on their brows or on their hands; and they were living and ruling with Christ a thousand years. BBE

These ones were judged and exonerated immediately after the Armageddon battle.

There was no more righteous soul after these set.

Rev 20:11 is about Judgement after Millenium reign and before the very end of the world. There was no more righteous in the Earth because satan used them all.

Rev 20:8-9 HE WILL GO OUT TO TRICK THE NATIONS IN ALL THE EARTH, the nations known as Gog and Magog. Satan will gather the people for battle. There will be more people than anyone can count, like sand on the seashore. I saw Satan's army march across the earth and gather around the camp of God's people and the city that God loves. But fire came down from heaven and destroyed Satan's army. ERV

Well, the easiest way to understand this is that Jesus was speaking in PARABLES in Matt 25, and not direct Prophecy like Rev 20.

But they all have the same “Tone”. The Sheep & Goat is general and final reference to the Great segregation.

That’s why the BOOKS were finally opened here.

Rev 20:12,15 I saw the dead, the lowly and the famous alike, standing before the throne. BOOKS WERE OPENED, AND THEN ANOTHER BOOK WAS OPENED: THE BOOK OF LIFE. THE DEAD WERE JUDGED BY WHAT THEY HAD DONE AS RECORDED IN THE BOOKS. ..AND ANYONE WHOSE NAME WAS NOT RECORDED IN THE BOOK OF LIFE WAS CAST INTO THE LAKE OF FIRE. TPT

That book of LIFE, now presents the record separating the “LIVING” from the “DEAD”.

That record bears the name of every single saint redeemed by Christ and marked as His Faithful men of all ages.

Next time, I want us to inspect the Crucial subject, that forms God’s demand on all men.

Mat 25:35 I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat. I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger, and you took me into your home. GW

May our works qualify us to have our names written in the book of Life, in Jesus name.

Join us on Friday for last of these insightful subtopic.

Keep Shinning!

Brother Prince

Wednesday, April 05, 2023

08055125517; 08023904307

[mayasaura]

"Went to see a man about a king" haunts me more than any other line in that book. What is she planning

All images have alt text

I HAVE NO IDEA.

The first time I read the Harrow the Ninth I was balls to the wall obsessed with Gideon, so I skimmed right over this line. Now, though? It haunts me too.

Quick recap on the context for those following along at home: this is the last line of the Epiparados of Harrow the Ninth. Ianthe and Harrow are on the Erabos, and it has been two days since the final chapter of Gideon the Ninth. The kind of personality that Ianthe is being said to have is the kind of personality that can 'put their hands back on the reins after they've been taken off', which I take to mean the sort of personality that can recover and bounce back when one's plans are seriously derailed.

So what are you planning, Miss Yanthe? Let's break it down.

Okay. I don't have any solid theories yet, but there are a limited number of men she could be going to see at this point in the timeline. The options seem to me to be 1) John 2) Admiral Sarpedon 3) An as-yet unintroduced character.

As to what she's seeing him about, well....

The formulation of the line implies that it's clandestine, whatever it is. The lead-in, about being able to roll with punches and take control back, implies that whatever sneaky thing she's doing isn't a new plan so much as an adjustment to a prior plan that has gone awry. This was the most enigmatic part of the statement until As Yet Unsent dropped and clued us in that the Tridentarii have been studying large-scale politics as well as large-scale energy transfer.

As for the queen, the main candidates to my mind are 1) Coronabeth 2) Ianthe herself 3) Harrow 4) Ianthe's mother 5) An as-yet unintroduced character.

Looking at the options laid out like this, my money is on the man being Admiral Sarpedon and the queen being Coronabeth. Hear me out.

First of all, the Admiral has a name from the Iliad, but has only had a brief speaking role. He is actually the only named character with a speaking role who has not had an effect on the plot. That's suspicious. Even more suspicious that Sarpedon in the Iliad is known for stressing the importance of a king leading battles from the front, to keep the respect of his people. You may already have noticed that Admiral Sarpedon's one speaking role is, true to theme, to object to John leaving the frontlines to live on the Mithraeum. Mercy pulling John away from his Empire may have caused more trouble than we know. Secondly, to tie Sarpedon back to Ianthe and her queen, I strongly suspect that Sarpedon is Judith's father. If I'm right about that, Ianthe would have both a personal connection to him and inside information about his daughter's fate to leverage.

I don't think I need to explain Corona being the queen, the plan will explain that.

So if Sarpedon is the man and Corona is the queen, what was the plan Ianthe wanted to see him about? This is the answer I think we get in As Yet Unsent:

Just like Ianthe must have noticed that the energy exchange of the Nine Houses doesn't add up, Corona has noticed that their economic structure is unstable and unsustainable. Ianthe has been trying to reverse engineer the Resurrection and by extention discover the power that made a man into a god. Corona has been unsatisfied with the leadership of the Nine Houses, has a detailed plan for how to improve their policies, and has been grooming herself for a position for which she now feels unfit. She asks Judith to metaphorically bind her down, or who knows what throne she will mount.

I think the plan that was derailed initially had the end goal of a change in leadership for the Nine Houses, and I think Corona was, if necessary, meant to become the new face of God. She may not have been born a necromancer, but I'd wager neither was John.

So I think when Ianthe went to ask a man about a queen, she probably asked Sarpedon to help her find Corona and Judith. Though there are enough unknowns about the Tridentarii's plan and Sarpedon in general that I doubt that's the full scope of it. It does seem to me like the loyalty of the Admiral commanding the Seat of the Emperor may well be important in any coming power struggle.

[dulcieseptimus]

Here is a compilation of all of the bible verses from John, in order of appearance, using the Douay-Rheims Bible. This is a translation Muir directly quotes from throughout the series (thank you @a-big-apple for the annotated locked tomb doc, which has the link to the online bible and lots of other interesting resources and discussions!). 

There is some added commentary from me as well, either to put quotes into context or share some notes I took while reading Nona the Ninth. Obviously, spoilers abound below the cut!

John 20:8: “Then that other disciple also went in, who came first to the sepulchre: and he saw, and believed.” ’The other disciple’ is John, known both as the ‘Disciple of Love’ and ‘Jesus’ Most Beloved Disciple.’ In this part of the Bible, Mary Magdalene discovers that the Tomb has been opened. John 5:20: “For the Father loveth the Son, and sheweth him all things which himself doth: and greater works than these will he shew him, that you may wonder.” Interestingly enough, the line immediately after this one is: “For as the Father raiseth up the dead, and giveth life: so the Son also giveth life to whom he will.” John 15:23: “He that hateth me, hateth my Father also.” John 15 is a continuation of a discourse from Jesus to his disciples. Earlier in the text he tells them, “I am the vine: you the branches: he that abideth in me, and I in him, the same beareth much fruit: for without me you can do nothing.” In this chapter John Gaius performs his second miracle of reanimating the bodies of Ulysses and Titania, who he calls both his children and ‘nothing more’ than extensions of himself. This is the beginning of John’s god complex, and how he begins to use his anger on behalf of Earth as justification for all future actions. John 5:18: “Hereupon therefore they sought the more to kill him, because he did not only break the sabbath, but also said God was his Father, making himself equal to God.” In this chapter, after A-- and M-- test John’s abilities, they decide to go public and livestream the resurrection. John 8:1: “And Jesus went unto mount Olivet.” A short one! In John 8, Jesus is being given a test to parse his identity. In NtN, this is where John and the others start attracting attention--and the infamous cow shield.  Interestingly, when answering questions, Jesus writes them out in the dirt with his finger, reminiscent of a later John chapter where he writes J + E + A  + H in a heart on the beach.  John 19:18: “Where they crucified him, and with him two others, one on each side, and Jesus in the midst.” John explains that they finally found out where the money for the cryo project went, and that they realized the trillionaires were just jumping ship and leaving everyone else behind to rot. This chapter focuses a lot on John, and A--, and M--. They were John’s first disciples, and would later die by his side during the siege of the facility. 

John 5:1: “After these things was a festival day of the [Jewish people], and Jesus went up to Jerusalem.” In the dream, John explains how they were made an offer by a foreign government and how A-- and M-- were able to negotiate a nuke as payment. P-- also makes the comment in this chapter that “If they want to make you into a bad wizard, be a bad wizard...they’re not going to listen because we talk nicely, they’re going to listen because we scare the shit out of them.”  John 5 is primarily concerned with Jesus being denied by his community leaders as Christ and trying to bring in his disciples to testify/negotiate on his behalf, eventually getting frustrated when he realizes nothing will change their minds. John 3:20: “For every one that doth evil hateth the light, and cometh not to the light, that his works may not be reproved.” John and the others attempt to prove the FTL project is a scam and are not believed. John 3 is also where the well known verse “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son” comes from, which Muir later quotes in chapter 32: “For she so loved the world that she had given them John.” Also absolutely reading too much into this but-- In John 3, Nicodemus asks Jesus how someone can be ‘born again,’ joking that it’s impossible to re-enter your mother’s womb. In the dream, John talks about how they were all scared of the suitcase nuke so they hid it under the floor, only to be used as a last resort, as blackmail. At the end of HtN, Wake tells John that she called baby Gideon ‘the Bomb’ throughout her pregnancy. The Ninth House Project was also Mercy and Augustine’s plan-of-last-resort to bring down John. And then the Ninth House tried to bury Gideon...and when that failed they spent the next 18 years terrified of her. Hmm hmm. Much to think about.   John 9:22: “These things his parents said, because they feared the [Jewish leaders]: for they had already agreed among themselves, that if any man should confess him to be Christ, he should be put out of the synagogue.” In John 9, authorities come looking for Jesus but his followers cover for him at risk of their own safety.  I believe my note here was “John Gaius is a rat bastard.”  John 1:20: “And he confessed, and did not deny: and he confessed: I am not the Christ.” In context, this is John the Baptist denying he is Christ. Instead he tells them “I am the voice of one crying out in the wilderness, make straight the way of the Lord...”  Meta textually this is meant to signal to us (and Harrow)--John is not the messiah he claims to be. He was chosen by the soul of Earth--Alecto--to be her voice, to save her, and he failed, terribly.  John 5:4: “And an angel of the Lord descended at certain times into the pond; and the water was moved. And he that went down first into the pond after the motion of the water, was made whole, of whatsoever infirmity he lay under.” Jesus encourages a disabled man to enter the pool and be healed, directing him to ‘pick up his mat and walk.’ Harrow rejects John as God and wades into the River, eventually to be reunited with Alecto in the Tomb. The chapter ends with “And she stepped into the River. She took another step, and she walked, and she walked.”

[shinydelirium]

Kiro’s R&S: Lonely (Season 2 Chapters, 2-5) Translation [CN]

***WARNING!!! THIS POST CONTAINS CONTENT THAT HAS NOT BEEN RELEASED YET ON EN SERVER!!! DO NOT READ IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED!!!***

This is a translation from Kiro’s R&S for Season 2, Chapters 2-5. Just to let everyone know, I do not know any Chinese but I have taken an interest in learning it because of this game. Therefore, I’m learning the language as I go. Everything has been done using Google Translate so do expect some errors and mistranslations. I’ve tried my best to make it flow well. Also, shout out to @link4eva for walking me through this process. I’m not gonna hide the fact that I hate technology and technology hates me so this is my first time posting something so monstrous, lol. Without further ado, please enjoy! 

***Some context before reading. The events of this R&S takes place towards the end of Season 1 when an impending comet is about to hit Earth. MC spends what little time she has left with the guys until she is summoned to some unknown place and gets set back in time.***

Even if the world fusion collapses, it cannot stop a firm heart.

[Chapter 1]

*Click, click*

The sound of the gear turning stopped again and behind the door that was slowly opened, a calm voice sounded.

“She has gone.”

Drifting light spots lingered in the endless darkness and the stairs slowly retreated to its origin. Everything seems to have not happened and it seems to be silently waiting for some tomorrow to come.  

“The future is far away, but it will come.”

Helios didn’t speak, but stood still, looking towards the end of the stairs.

“Are you scared?”

The person in the dark tempted again, and he smiled after listening.

“No matter how difficult it is, she will definitely find a way so that everyone can meet tomorrow. What is there to be afraid of?”

At the end of the speech, his voice became very soft, containing some fear hidden in his heart.

The girl’s face slowly appeared in front of Helios’ eyes. He suddenly remembered that in the world of Eternal Winter, she kept approaching bravely, gritted her teeth to face all the unknowns, remembering every moment she had illuminated. He always believed that she would be able to make the most correct choice and let the doomsday meet the future. It’s just...

There was a seemingly silent laugh from the darkness. Helios released the palm he had just unintentionally clenched, and turned to look at the scattered light spots, “I just want to know one thing.” His hand gently lifted. The light spot swayed at his fingertips, like stars hanging in the dark, losing their orbit. “That uncontrollable future is the future of this world?”

The distant voice seemed to sigh, “What do you think the world is like?”

Helios did not speak.

“The countless choices of mankind have gathered into all nets of the world. It is infinitely extended and leads to the future.” He paused. “But the future will end. This is countless civilizations relying on the destruction, over and over. The conclusion drawn again. Although it is moving forward slowly, it seems to return to a certain point of origin.”

“Destruction.” Helios raised his head and said this word in disbelief.

“This world should have stopped today, but a possibility has arisen.” While Helios was still speculating on the deep meaning behind this, the voice did not stop. “This possibility gives her the ability to choose the most correct one. The path leads the world to a distant place beyond truth and common sense.”

Helios frowned slightly and caught the core part of the words in an instant. “You mean, there will be even more incredible changes in the future?”

“This is not a question I can answer.”  

The sound of the gear turning sounded again, and the person’s voice seemed a little tired, and finally slowly disappeared in the darkness, like the last hint.

“This world has completed its choice, and it will not stay. It will continue to move forward to witness the arrival of tomorrow, no matter what posture or form this tomorrow is presented to humanity...It belongs to the tomorrow of this world, and you...” The voice faintly revealed the meaning of expectation and scrutiny, “Tomorrow you will naturally be the same as her, you will be the way you crossed from today to tomorrow.”

[Chapter 2]

From the dome of the hall, one can see the lights of comets approaching from the sky. The people around the round table appear to be extremely silent. They all looked at Helios who walked in, seeming to be waiting for his final answer.

“It’s too early to prepare for the end.” Helios walked to the front of the main seat, but did not sit down. He gently propped his hands on the round table, and there seemed to be sparks jumping in his eyes. “Everything went according to the original plan. In time, we have a lot to do.” When everyone dispersed, Helios stood alone in the hall, looking to the sky through the dome, and muttered, “It seems that the secret that I can’t tell you is still valuable.”

No one can be seen on the street where the end is coming, not to mention such remote alleys. At the end, there is only the rustle of stray cats eating garbage.

Kiro pressed the brim of his hat, turning around in the scattered alleys in a familiar way, until a faint yellow light slowly hit his eyes. A little “Mondlicht” was written on the side of the door, like the spell of an ancient magician. He glanced at the end of the sky one last time, took a deep breath, and opened the door with firm eyes.

“Welcome.”

The man standing behind the bar didn’t seem to be surprised by the visitor who appeared suddenly. He gracefully wiped the wine glasses and greeted Kiro with a smile. Kiro quietly looked around and sat at the bar expertly.

“The end is two hours away. Do you want something to drink?” The man smiled and shook the wine bottle in his hand.

“It’s almost the end and you’re still opening the shop?” Kiro put his hat on the bar, ignoring the man’s invitation.  

“My life creed is, I’d rather stand earning money and die than to lie down bored.” The man seemed to be indifferent to Kiro’s refusal, still mastering the bottle with skillful control.

“I’m not here to drink.”

“You have tried so many times, don’t you ever give up?”

Kiro’s eyes flashed with a hint of anger but only for a moment. He slowly smiled.

“I have no reason to give up.”  

The man neatly put down the cup in his hand and took a breath: “Well, since you’re so insistent, I won’t stop you. The name is Drey.” ***Don’t know if this will be the name used for this character in EN server but it’s what Google Translate gave me, so we’ll go with it***

He put the wine in front of Kiro, the bright red liquid filled the man’s eyes with a smile, but seemed a little ruthless and indifferent.  

“Thank you for the business and support.”

[Chapter 3]

Kiro found Drey a month ago. Seeing Drey again, he still couldn’t control the urge to retch inside. Kiro sat on the sofa, clenched his palms fiercely, and like a constant trance in his heart, forced himself to give priority to the task at hand. In a daze, he saw the girl standing under the soft light and shadow, her face radiating with warm light. She reached out to him and called his name. “You are the best Kiro in the world.”

The slight pain in the palm of his hand slowly pierced all consciousness along his fingertips. He barely raised his eyes and calmly looked at the man Drey, who was standing not far from him, the first assistant of the experiment.  

Many years have passed since that distant and dark memory. He was also much older. Drey threw himself down in front of Kiro in a panic, “Please, don’t kill me...!!!”  

Kiro looked coldly at the man who was kneeling in front of him, his whole body shaking. “If I wanted to kill you, I wouldn’t have let you escape that time.”

Trembling, he took the box thrown by Kiro and saw the glinting “S” on it. He was so scared that he almost dropped it to the ground.  

“How did you get this? No, you don’t need to answer me...” Drey shook his head and firmly gripped the box in his hand. He realized that Kiro who was cooperating with him now is no longer the advanced experiment: number 3684. Drey looked down at the box in his hand, “What do want me to do? Could it be...!!!”

Kiro knew from a long time ago that Drey was the person who knew his body data the best during that experiment, and naturally had enough ability to be the first assistant. “This is impossible!”

“I’m not here to listen to your nonsense.” Kiro interrupted him coldly, “You just have to work for me, right Dr. Drey “the current boss?”

Drey rubbed the box in his hand, gritted his teeth and finally let out a sigh of relief, “...I see, can the operating table on floor B4 be used?”

Even in the colorful laboratory covered with floral wallpaper, Kiro still had a serious mental rebuke. It took him a lot of effort to force himself to lie down on the experimental table. Since then, he can’t remember how many times he vomited and how many tubes of medicine he took.  

Drey frowned, “I said it’s going to be difficult for you to become stronger.” He lowered his head. “Your experimental success is not universal. Considering the collective interference of many micro-factors, your body may not be able to withstand the second experiment. The experiment made your genes, under the catalysis of a special substance, form their own unique irregular structure, which is absolutely different from ordinary people.” He pursed his mouth and paused, his expression stricken, and looked at Kiro. “And we are not sure whether this reaction will continue, and all the side effects can’t be estimated. Why should you take such a big risk!?! You are fully capable now...”

“It’s okay, let’s just get there first today.” Kiro wiped the blood from his mouth, barely propped himself up and sat on the experimental table. The night fog filled him countless times, tying him into the abyss in the dark night. There are countless ferocious and scrutinizing gazes. He is standing in the bloody prison, but now, he is no longer afraid.  

“I said that you aren’t too tired to go home and eat dessert?” Since Kiro accidentally missed the dessert date, this person always used it to tease him from time to time. Kiro didn’t answer him. He walked around the store several times, slowing down his trembling footsteps, “Is it natural?” ***Don’t really understand what's going here in this scene, lol***

The boss nodded, “It’s okay. You guys finished so early today?”

“It’s because there is a special performance today.” Kiro put on his hat, blocking most of his face, “It’s very important.”

Kiro walked towards floor B4 step by step. When he arrived at the entrance of the laboratory, Drey was already there waiting for him. “We’ve tried numerous times and if you continue like this, your body may...”  

“It’s fine.” He unwaveringly interrupted Drey’s unfinished words. “There has been progress last time, hasn’t there? Let’s keep going.”

Kiro’s footsteps towards the laboratory were extremely firm. The whole world seemed to be only a piece of endless white, with the girl’s back at the end. He kept ordering himself to run towards her. This has always been the case. Although there is not much time to download this voice, he will never give up even if it is the end.  

[Chapter 4]

When Kiro opened his eyes again, he knew that he had won the bet. Even if he didn’t have the strength to lift a finger, he raised a satisfied and happy smile for the first time. He couldn’t remember how long he laid until he could finally and slowly prop up his arm to support himself. He sat on the operating table panting and wanted to pull out the infusion affixed to his arm in disgust.  

“it’s better not to pull that one out.”

Kiro raised his eyes in warning. The boss leaned against the door holding a hot cup of coffee along with a smile that has remained unchanged for years. Kiro blinked and tilted his head, “The time...”

“Don’t worry. It seems that the comet hasn’t hit yet.” The man stretched out his index finger and pulled Drey over who happened to be passing by and came back to check the situation. “Look at him.”

Kiro breathed a sigh of relief and covered his head with a bit of pain. Drey hurried over and said, “You’ve just woke up now, don’t be so anxious. You need to be observed again.”

Kiro snorted coldly. With a sound, the microcomputer he had been carrying around suddenly rang. He grabbed his head and pulled off the infusion from his body. He stood, limping hurriedly and almost fell to the ground due to the excessive movement.

“You can’t move right now!” Drey stopped him in a rush.

“Let go!” Kiro waved Drey’s hand away, reluctantly pressing it against the wall. He turned on the computer, tapping the keyboard intermittently with stiff fingers, looking at the screen with a heavy expression. “You guys leave.”

“You can’t use your abilities now!” Drey still insisted on explaining to Kiro, “We are not yet sure about their stability. Your current body is too weak. If you use your enhanced abilities immediately, you will...”

“Get out.” Kiro’s voice did not have a hint of warmth or room for argument.  

“But your body...!!!”

“Excuse me.” The man drinking coffee beside him smiled and shook the syringe that came out of nowhere. “You will not be charged for the gift.” Kiro stretched out his pinhole arm without hesitation, “Thank you.”

Kiro recovered some strength after the drug injection. He leaned in the corner of the laboratory and gently closed his eyes.  

“Ki...mmph!”

“.....If I said I might know a way, would you believe me?”

“It’s okay, you’re already amazing and you’re still my superhero!”

“Will you leave again this time too...?”

“I believe that no matter who you are, you will not change...”

“No matter what decision you make, I’ll support it.”

“All this time, you have always been illuminating me.”

He can always hear her voice. Kiro gently opened his eyes and saw himself in the mirror. He raised his mouth unconsciously, without a trace of hesitation. Since this world will not end, no matter what happens, it will become the future of tomorrow. He has to be prepared for this unknown future.  

The golden light in the pupils of his eyes danced in the mirror but at this time, it was like a gentle and powerful blessing, giving strength to those who can cross all obstacles to reach hope. Even if it may be temporarily silent in time because of the drastically changing world, one day it will become a milestone to guide the future, pointing to the end in its heart, and meeting the long-awaited person.

“I command you to always be the one and only brightly shining Kiro--to be brave and to keep getting stronger.”

“I command you to never forget her.”

“She is MC, your Miss Chips.”

“She is your most favorite person.”

The golden light diffused through the pupils into every nerve ending and blood, melting into the grand and brilliant white snow at the end of the world to form the final agreement. The world was slowly shrouded by the seemingly gentle but unbreakable water mist. It was born from the bright white light and permeated the earth, extending in countless directions. On the note-filled recording paper in the notebook, the notes on the staff seemed to be placed upside down, disappearing one by one on the paper. And all this is just a moment.  

End

[nanami-says]

Part IV (3/5): Chapters 40~44

 Chapter 40

[Mai to Miwa]

“Maki? She’s worthless”

She actually calls her “just a small fry” here. Which imo is more dismissive than just outright derogatory like in the official release.

“An iai technique huh? That’s strange. I have the advantage in terms of reach. She’s probably looking to disarm my cursed tool and create an opening.”

⇒”An iai [technique], huh? On top of that there seems to be some trick to it. With our difference in reach… rather than myself, she’s probably looking(...)”

Not mistranslated per se other than the “there seems to be a trick to it” line, which imo shouldn’t have been simplified to just “that’s strange”. But the original showed Maki’s thought process better.

“She broke it with her leg? Why is she negating her reach advantage.”

⇒ ”She broke it?? With her thigh?? You’re getting rid of your reach advantage here??”

Again, the meaning was all there but some of the characterisation was lost. Miwa sounded so frantic and full of disbelief here, haha.

[After Mei states that Maki should get promoted at least 2 ranks ASAP]

“I agree but her family seems to be getting in the way”

⇒ “I think so too, but you know, the Zen’ins keep getting in the way. It stinks, right”

More casual speech overall in the original, also Gojou’s more colourful language got a cut again.

MM:“Heh… I don’t understand connections not based on money” 

G:“And you’ll always be a cheapskate.”

I get why they went with “cheapskate” here, as the word Gojou originally uses would be accurately translated as “miser”, which’s the kind of word most people would have to check in the dictionary. (I know I had to.) Nevertheless it’s interesting to me how Gojou basically alternates between super casual speech and much less common terms like this one. He seems to like wordplays in general?

“Anyway, I can’t help but notice the video feed around Yuji seems to be a little inconsistent”

⇒ “Leaving that aside, the video around Yuuji keeps on cutting off for a while now, no?”

Again, meaning is there, the characterisation - sort of I suppose? But he was being more casual/straight to the point in the original.

[In reply to Gojou’s question whose side she’s on]

“Whose side? I’m on the side with money, of course. There’s no value in something that can’t be bought since you can’t exchange it for money.”

“Which side? I’m an ally of money, of course. Because there’s no value in things that cannot be exchanged for money. For you see, it cannot be exchanged for money."

I know it sounds like she’s repeating herself but that’s because she actually is. She’s literally saying that there’s no value in something that can’t be turned into money PRECISELY BECAUSE it can’t be turned into money lol. Also, imo “on the side with money” kind of muddled the nuance a bit. Other possible translations for "exchange" include "replace", ”turn into”.

Gojou in reply to above.

“I wonder how much!”

Actually closer to, “[I wonder] how much did you pile up”. The actual phrase is just “just how much did (...) pile up/stock”, so you have to supply the subject by yourself.

“I’m not sure what you guys have planned but Yuji’s different now”

⇒ “I don’t know what you’re scheming but Yuuji won’t be killed so easily anymore”

Again, the basic meaning is there but a lot of subtler nuance got lost.

(jp)

[Explanation on how the school can tell which side exorcised which curses during the competition]

“Talismans are placed on curses released in the area. When a curse is exorcised, the corresponding talisman also disappears. Using cursed energy, we’ve made arrangements for the following -- exorcisms made by the Tokyo school will be indicated with a red flame, while Kyoto’s will be blue. Maki is also participating, so we’ve made sure her exorcisms are marked red as well.”

When I read this for the first time in English, I found this explanation rather unclear. No wonder I did, as it omits vital details such as the original mentioning "recording cursed energy in advance" which imo seems to be pointing to them registering samples of all students' energy.

And then the Maki line adds that since Maki is there too, exorcisms performed by UNRECORDED forces will be marked red as well. And that's why later on the teachers weren't able to immediately discern whether the sudden destruction of curses was done by an outsider or not.

“All those one-on-ones. Did they forget the main objective?”

⇒“(...) Everyone’s waaay too disinterested in the game.”

“Main objective” sounds kinda formal and imo that wasn’t the nuance for the line.

[Nobara to Nishimiya]

“Got down here, you stupid witch!!”

Actually “you shitty witch”. Nanami would be proud ;;

“How dare you hit my sacred face.”

I like their take on this but it’s hilarious in the original because the word she uses literally means “your countenance”, as in you’d normally use it to respectfully refer to someone else’s face, definitely not about your own. And then she adds a “go-” prefix, which further ups the level of reverence haha. 

“A scar on the face can be a good thing for guys. But not for girls.”

Not really a mistranslation, but I love the original wording with its juxtaposition of a scar on the face being likened to an "order" for a man and a "blemish"/"defect" for a woman. It adds so much more depth to the line.

[Nishimiya after she points out how unfair the jujutsu world is towards women compared to men]

“And Mai has to deal with even more discrimination than that”

Actually something closer to ”irrationality”, “unreasonableness”, “unfairness”, “derision”. Discrimination was the translators’ interpretation of that, I suppose.

Chapter 41

[About Inumaki’s technique]

“Cursed speech is words with spirit. Essentially, it’s infusing sound with cursed energy”

...They translated it the other way around (“the spirit of words”) in ch. 33… Needless to say, this is still the same technique and still the very same term being used. I’d be leaning towards the more commonly used translation of “the spirit of language”.

“However if you’re not sure it’s coming… you’ll be in a constant state of unease. Protecting your head is difficult as it is”

⇒ “On the other hand, if you don’t know if it’s coming or not, you’re constantly distracted. Even though protecting the inside of my head is already something I’m not used to doing”

Not really mistranslated but I wanted to propose an alternate translation, especially for the second part.

“Inheriting the Zen’in family cursed technique is reserved for the privileged. Every other jujutsu sorcerer starts at a level much further below. And even within their family, some women aren’t treated equally.”

⇒ “Unless you inherit the Zen'in family's cursed technique, you start out as a sorcerer from a losing position. And for women, some of them are not even allowed to stand on that starting line"

Just an overall different meaning for the whole fragment. After all, it’s not like you can control who will inherit what technique, even if you’re from one of the three big families. Also it was about women being discriminated on a more fundamental level.

“Can someone who thinks that curse Yuji is an ally really understand?”

⇒ “How about you try thinking hard with that head of yours that can even mistake [that] curse for a comrade?”

Written with “Itadori-kun”, read as “[the] curse” - there’s no reason for Nishimiya to call him “Yuji”. Also she actually says 仲間/nakama here, which, as I stated before, I personally prefer to translate as “comrade” in the context of jjk. The official release seems to alternate between “ally” and “friend”, which are rather distant terms imo. I’m not sure either what’s their basis for when they go with “ally” because they also used it when Gojou was talking about raising a future generation of strong and bright comrades in ch. 11 (refer to part II).

[Nobara in response to above]

“Does that mean we have to forgive the unfortunate no matter the circumstances? And if someone is blessed with a fortunate life, do they deserve to be ridiculed?”

⇒ ”So if someone’s unfortunate, they’re free to do whatever they want? Then what? If in turn a person is [more] fortunate, you’re not gonna be satisfied unless you can talk behind their back?”

In the original Nobara speaks in shorter sentences and uses rather simple language, which imo really conveys how angry she is about Nishimiya’s words. It wasn’t really a philosophical conversation. 

“Have any of you ever stopped to consider the person behind the curse you’ve condemned?”

⇒ “And have you people even thought what kind of a person the idiot that you’re trying to curse [from now] is?”

Not “condemn as a curse” but “that you people are cursing”! Huge distinction imo.

“What do I care about whether someone’s perfect or if something’s fair? Is your life just a job?”

⇒ “Are you obliged to stand up to [things like] ‘perfection’ or ‘unfairness’? (...)”

Lit. “where’s the obligation to live up to”. Emphasis mine! Nobara wasn’t saying she doesn’t care whether someone is perfect or not, imo the nuance was more that there’s no need to force yourself to try and meet people’s expectations/standards. 

“Boys versus girls? Give me a break! Just shut the hell up! I love dressing up and being beautiful! I love being strong!”

⇒ “Boys this, girls that? I don’t give a damn! Just do it all by yourselves if you wish! I love myself who dresses up beautifully! I love myself who [always] strives to be strong!”

I know fandom loves the “I love being beautiful! I love being strong” line - it definitely is short and impactful! But I actually really like the nuance that “strive to be/remain strong” has because it implies Nobara’s constantly putting in effort to improve herself and get stronger. Also the nuance of “I love myself who’s all those things [and more]” (emphasis mine) rather than simply “I love being those things”/“I love the act of”, even though to an English speaker the former may sound a bit awkward. 

[Mai saying she can’t contact Mechamaru after his fight]

“It’s not a good sign if he was forced to use his finishing move and this is the end result.”

⇒ “If it’s like that [that we can’t contact him] despite him being forced into a corner to the point of having to use his finishing move, then he’s probably lost”

This was Mai speculating Mechamaru has most likely lost if they can’t contact him despite him having used his special move.

“I need you”

⇒ “If you’re not here, we’re in trouble”

Rather than Mai needing her personally, this was her reiterating Nishimiya’s importance to the team. (Same phrasing as in ch. 35.)

Chapter 42

[About Maki and her family]

Y:“But why wouldn’t they want someone so strong?”

N:“They don’t wanna accept someone they’ve already rejected. They’re stupid that way”

⇒Y: “Wouldn’t a jujutsu family welcome a strong sorcerer with open arms?”

N:“(...) Because they’re stupid/idiots.”

Slightly more informative for Yuuji’s line in the original imo. Let’s not forget that Yuuji’s still super new to the jujutsu world, so he’s not really familiar with its inner workings. Imo this line had such a nuance.

“So we have to win this event. You better put your life on the line!”

Not incorrect as much as it's just so much funnier in the original because she tells him to put enough effort to die one more time lol (emphasis mine).

[Maki to Tokyo team, telling them to focus on the competition rather trying to make her look good]

“Don't’ worry about me”

⇒ “Don’t think about unnecessary stuff”

Imo this showed Maki’s personality better.

[Mai to Maki, in her head]

“You thought you could get the jump on me? While keeping your distance as well?”

⇒ “So what if you’re in my blind spot. Aren’t you dumb to put distance between us”

This was more about it being advantageous for Mai, a gun being her weapon, if Maki gets farther away from her.

“I knew it! Maki has something I don’t”

⇒ “I knew it… Maki has a talent I don’t have”

How a single exclamation mark can completely change the meaning of a whole line. Yes, it is “I knew it” but as in “I understood it”, “I felt it”. It’s not some revelation about the fight itself, it’s the beginning to Mai’s retrospection about herself and Maki and their approaches to life that follows after. Also, it literally says “talent” there, not to mention the line gets repeated word for word at the end of the same chapter for emphasis before the conclusion is given to Mai’s musings. (Gege seems to like this particular trick a lot, huh?)

”Did you hear about the daughter of the Ougi?"

Hmm, I tried googling the phrase with “Ougi” in it just to check if it can have some hidden meaning but found out even Japanese fans weren’t sure about the exact meaning of the word. Probably a name, either of a person or of a place.

[Mai thinking about Maki]

“You were always so carefree. I hated it. You just kept moving fearlessly forward into the future”

⇒ “I hated how you were always boldly pushing your way towards the future as if you had no worries/unease”

Imo a slightly different nuance for this line (which’s just a single sentence). “I hated how” could also be “I hated you for” and other translations for “pushing your way to” include “plunging forward”, “pushing on”. 

(jp)

[About Mai’s cursed technique]

“Unlike creating an object inside a domain, objects created with cursed technique: construction will not disappear after the spell is finished. However, an immense amount of cursed energy is used, which has a harsh effect on the body”

⇒ “Unlike materialisation of an innate domain within the barrier that occurs in ‘domain expansion’, objects once created with Construction Technique will not disappear even after the technique has finished. That’s why(...)”

Ever wondered why domain and domain expansion related stuff is impossible to understand? Well, here’s why. They only left “inside a domain” out of the whole explanation... “Materialisation” was actually “realisation” but I thought the former would be easier to understand. Also it literally says only “realisation of an innate domain” but imo it could be also interpreted as “inner domain and things within in”.

(jp)

“Maki has something I don’t. Kinda like Mechamaru’s Heavenly Restriction but the opposite. You were supposed to be born with a cursed technique but you traded that in for superhuman physical abilities. This skill was shunned by the Zen’in family. And it’s an ability I don’t have.”

⇒ “Maki has a talent I don’t have. (...) A talent which didn’t get appreciated in the Zen’in family and which I didn’t possess”

Like I pointed out earlier, this is the conclusion to Mai’s retrospection about herself and Maki and some of its effect was, in the original, achieved by repeating the line about Maki’s talent that Mai didn’t have, and by further expanding on it here.

Chapter 43

[About Kamo’s attack]

“A trace of blood on the arrow fletching. Like I thought, Kamo’s technique defies physics”

⇒  "The physics defying trajectory [of the arrow] was because of Kamo-san's cursed technique after all"

More informative in the original, I’d say. The arrows themselves are (and look) normal, hence double the wham i suppose?

[Megumi about Kamo’s Blood Manipulation Technique]

“The ability to control whatever touches his blood”

⇒ "The ability to control his own blood and whatever is stained with it" 

Why would they skip the "the blood itself" bit…

[Kamo about Megumi’s Ten Shadows Technique”

“A cursed technique passed down in the Zen’in family”

Just to be clear, it’s actually specified here that it’s “one of the techniques”.

[Kamo about his technique]

“I can manipulate blood beyond its form or motion”

Once again sounds a bit like a more general explanation. “To manipulate blood means (...)”.

[After Megumi calls him out on doping]

“Very good. Although I don’t appreciate the negative connotation”

⇒ “But I’d prefer if you stopped with the vulgar phrasing”

Simpler, more direct language here.

[After Maki’s taken off with Miwa’s sword in tow]

“Mai’s sister is gone. Well, that makes sense. I’m useless without my sword”

⇒ “Mai’s older sister has gone somewhere. Well, it was a correct call as I can’t fight without my sword”

The phrase used here that got translated as “I’m useless” while can indeed mean something similar has the nuance of “to not be useful [in battle]” . So although it’s not incorrect per se, I’m not sure if I’d go with “useless” myself, especially because it comes with tandem with “correct call”/”good decision” wording.  She DOES literally say she’s useless later on though.

“We’re a little disorganized after all”

Not incorrect per se but imo the original line might’ve had the nuance of “we’re not monolithic [as an organisation]”.

“Use this scent and whistle to control it. If you can, make it kill Itadori”

⇒ “This scent and whistle were used to train him [this cursed spirit]. If a chance arises, use it well and kill Itadori”

I’m not sure if this can be interpreted as it being JUST the curse itself that’ll do all the work.

Chapter 44

“- Why does everyone torment mother?

 - Because she’s a broken mistress”

Closer to “dissolute”, I think. Also the word used for “mistress” can also mean “concubine” and “kept woman” but it’s apparently also an old expression for “close female servant”. It’s hard to say which it could have been without more context but it’d actually make a lot of sense if it was the last one, especially given the fact how Kamo is one of the olden jujutsu families, and very traditional at that. 

“Then why do you favour me? Why did you deceive me into becoming a heir”

⇒ “(...)Then why did you take me in and lie about me being a heir”

I may be wrong but it doesn’t sound like they deceived Kamo himself but rather, everyone else. The word used also means “falsify”. “Favour” here is the same word as for “patronage”, btw.

“Then as the heir to the head of the Kamo family(...)”

It’s just “the next head” here, possibly an allusion to his plans for /after/ he becomes the clan head.

[After Kamo praises his growth as a sorcerer]

“Why are you acting all familiar with me?’

⇒ “What’s with this sense of comradeship you keep on showing?”

Not incorrect per se but I found the phrase he used interesting. Also means “fellowship”.

“I intend to kill Yuji Itadori”

“By principal Gakuganji’s order?”

“No, this is my decision.”

⇒ (...) “No, this is my personal/individual judgement.”

Emphasis Gege’s. The word does mean “decision” as well but imo “judgement” (as in “call”) fits better here.

“As a member of the Kamo and the big three families, I believe it is the right decision. You should also understand it. (I must play the part of the heir to the Kamo family)”

⇒ “(...) I consider it a correct call. It’s something you should be able to understand as well. (I must conduct myself as is appropriate for the heir of the Kamo family)

Lit. “think it’s(...)” for the first bit. Imo “you should also understand” could imply that Kamo’s trying to convince Megumi here but in the original it’s more him appealing to the common understanding he feels must already exist between them because of their similar positions within their respective families. Also, wording his inner thoughts as “must play the part” was imo giving off a wrong impression. 

Cont. from above

“You and I are the same”

Not wrong but the original has the connotation of “the same kind”.

“He’s saying some scary stuff”

Skipped “all of sudden" here.

(jp)

“(I’ve never thought of myself as doing the right thing.) Actually, I’m sorry. I don’t care if I’m right or wrong. I only believe in my conscience. I will follow my conscience and save people. If you disagree with that then, let’s agree to curse each other.”

⇒ ”(...) No, I’m sorry, that is incorrect. It’s just that I believe/have faith in my own conscience. I will help/save people the way my conscience tells me. So if you’ve denied that, then there’s nothing left but to curse each other.”

Again, like in ch. 9 (refer to part I), the nuance here was actually that Megumi will save people BASED on his conscience. Here it’s literally “I will save people according to my conscience” (emphasis mine), which imo heavily implies that he will choose which people to save, as had already been indicated in ch. 9 as well. This is a huge distinction from the way he’s been (mis)portrayed in the official release as just wanting to save people because that’s what his conscience says or because he thinks that’s the right thing to do. (That’s Yuuji). Also, the way they phrased it as basically “let’s agree to disagree” was imo way too mild.  And it wasn’t just “if you disagree” but “if you contradict/negate/renounce”.

“A shikigami! It was still around?!”

Not sure but given the context it might’ve meant “so he still had some left” instead.

Cont. on next page

“He used a wounded shikigami as a decoy!”

⇒ “He used a shikigami at the verge of being called off as a decoy!” 

“This uses too much cursed energy, so I can only summon it once”

⇒ “This eats a lot of cursed energy so I can only summon it solo”

Lit. “a shikigami before the release/dissolution” for the first one. Coupled with Megumi’s reply, which was “as a stand alone” instead of “only once”, imo the whole thing meant that Megumi called the frog off intentionally.

[Megumi about the elephant shikigami]

“It only recently surrendered to me.”

⇒ “I’ve only exorcised it very recently”

Seems like they confused “to exorcise” (調伏)  for “to surrender” (降伏)...The word he uses here is the former, it also means “to unwish”!

Btw, “surrender” is actually used later in the manga when Getou’s curse manipulation is discussed in the Gojou’s Past arc (ch. 73).. So to me there definitely seems to be a distinction between those two terms and which techniques they apply to.

[to part iv (4/5)]

[wedreamedlove]

Bai Qi In Love - Character Study

Archiving from Reddit. This is also the main post I wanted to bring over but it required my previous Bai Qi - Character Study post LOL.

So I went through Bai Qi's Spring Festival Date and I have not been the same ever since, so I wanted to expel all my emotions in another character post.

Had a couple of songs in the background while I was writing this, so feel free to put them on too while reading this post LOL.

Contains spoilers up to Chapter 15 and lines from unreleased CN cards. Translations are from the CN and JP version, so may have differing lines from the ENG version.

My road map this time is starting out with the origin of Bai Qi's love, moving onto his letter, how he's gone through his life with MC being his North Star, and then finishing off again with just how much he wants to share every moment of his life with her.

I mentioned before in my Speech Quirks post that Bai Qi always defaults to absolute sincerity when he's not sure how to respond to MC and I hope this reminds you of that, and just how he has a sixth sense when it comes to MC. Every cell in his body is attuned to her.

Normally, this level of devotion to someone is probably unhealthy but, well, MC is the paragon of goodness here so he's in good hands LOL.

FALLING SLOWLY (IN LOVE)

First (another song here!), this is the JP translation of ground zero in the [Campus Date]:

The man raised his knife and attacked Bai Qi, stabbing the sharp blade at him. But still, Bai Qi desperately countered.

Finally, everyone was knocked down but Bai Qi, who was bleeding horribly, stumbled. In his hazy consciousness, the sound of the piano gradually weakened. It was like falling into light from heaven.

In that moment, the boss of the gang took this chance to kick Bai Qi and, because of that hit, Bai Qi fell from the rooftop.

Bai Qi reached out with both hands, trying to grab something as he felt himself plummeting.

Suddenly, a melody reverberated, filled with a strong energy, pressure, and tension.

That sound crossed space and time and resonated with Bai Qi's memories.

The sight of his father wearing a military uniform and his gentle mother... memories of his childhood poured into him all at once.

"Lieutenant General, regrettably, there was no evidence of Evol in his genes."

"There's no meaning for such a useless thing to exist."

Since his mother passed away, he was always alone. It was like he was the only one in this world.

If he died, those guys would probably be happy.

Bai Qi heard rhythmical and strong piano notes and, as he was engulfed in the fierce winds, he felt his body becoming lighter.

"NO!"

Not like this.

His life didn't need his father, friends, or a meaning.

Bai Qi clenched his hands into fists with these strong emotions and the power, sleeping deep in his body, awakened.

He felt a pulse in the wind and, between the vast expanse of heaven and earth, life spread through on the wind.

The melody he heard eventually turned into something overflowing with emotions. In the depths of autumn, the gingko leaves blown up by the wind danced and glimmered in the air.

Bai Qi traveled through the air like a bird and small birds, with their wings spread, gathered happily around him.

Entranced with the piano notes, he hummed freely to the song.

The birds flapped their wings, startled by Bai Qi's sudden humming.

Bai Qi gently picked up a small bird and continued to hum.

It was joy for his reborn self and a declaration of the coming light and end of darkness.

He heard the singing of a girl along with the piano notes.

That clear voice had a powerful force which captured people's hearts and wouldn't let go.

The girl's singing and piano drew Bai Qi's mind and body over strongly.

The wind lifted Bai Qi's body and carried him to a window. Looking inside, he saw a girl playing the piano.

Maybe it was the reflection of the gingko leaves fluttering outside the window, but the girl's eyes sparkled like stars.

She continued to accompany herself on the piano and it was as if she was resonating with the wind.

It was an ordinary girl, but he felt a strong spirit from her.

The girl's hands danced on top of the white and black keys and her piano song shook Bai Qi's heart.

He quietly watched her, feeling that the seed sown in his heart was sprouting.

The girl had no idea that her piano saved a boy who was about to fall into a dark abyss.

And there was no way for the girl to know that the boy swore on his life to protect her.

BTW, the song MC was playing at this time was Liszt's Liebestraum No. 3 (Love Dream). During the second anniversary, Papergames confirmed some of the piano songs in the game.

I don't think it needs to be said that Bai Qi was literally going to die at this moment. Not only physically but I'm sure he was mentally at his limits too. Despite the tough act he puts on about being used to loneliness and not caring for what other people think about him, humans are social creatures. He felt like he was all alone in the world and was about to give up on life. I feel like we can draw some analogies to depression here.

There's also an intentional foil in [Chapter 12] between Bai Qi, Jay, and Josie. There's a reference to Josie in [Chapter 7] and MC was sympathizing about how Evol made Josie get treated like a monster, and that sort of darkness can easily change someone. Bai Qi's reply is:

[Main Story 7-18]: "Then I'm very lucky. There was someone who caught me right before I hit the bottom."

But going back to the scene with Jay in [Main Story 12-8], when he's being interrogated, he accuses Bai Qi of not knowing anything about the despair he went through. But, as we all know, Bai Qi lost his father (when he didn't show Evol genes), lost his mother (in the fire), and lost his younger brother (their father took him away and their relationship soured after the death of their mother).

Yet, unlike Jay, he didn't lash out at society and turn to the darkness because he met MC.

[Campus Date] is such a critical date about Bai Qi's character and his convictions and how, while a part of it was formed to go against his father's version of justice, it really solidified because of MC. He learned to love life and cherish its preciousness because of MC.

Because of just how important this ground zero is for Bai Qi, we see references made to this scene again and again and again:

[Main Story 15-7]: "And you saved me. Don't lower your head, look at me. Don't feel insecure and don't feel like you're useless. You caught me again right before I hit the bottom."

[Spring Festival Date]: "The day I met her, there were gingko leaves drifting and falling slowly through the air, and it was the most beautiful time in late autumn. It was also the darkest time of my life. But she was the one who caught me tightly when I fell."

[CN Rumors and Secrets: Ashes]: Bai Qi is bleeding out and touches the picture of MC that he always keeps on him in his breast pocket and sees that a corner of it is stained red. Then he thinks back to the time he heard her play the piano, lightly, gently, slowly, and how it seeped into his body and heart. [Context: this is before he reunites with MC].

THE. LETTER.

We learn about it in [Chapter 7] and how Bai Qi gave it to Minor to pass to the MC, but she saw the bloodstains on it and, because of the bad rumors around Bai Qi and how she misunderstood the sight of him threatening a student to cough up (stolen) money, she thought the letter was a threat LOL.

I'm laughing out loud, but rest assured I'm actually crying inside.

However, the truth is that it was a goodbye letter:

[Main Story 7-20]: "What I regret the most? Probably not handing that letter to that girl personally. [Was it a love letter?] No, it was a goodbye letter. [Why did you write a goodbye letter?] Why should I tell you? [Bro, look, everyone's listening. Give me some face] Because that girl said that she hated it the most when people leave without saying goodbye. [One last question. Could you tell us what was in that letter?] It doesn't matter. Let's just leave that letter in the past. We'll have lots of time in the future together."

For those curious, the contents of the letter is from [CN Rumors and Secrets: Angled Light] but I think this is part of the Dream Heart Lake event series and so won't be released: "Saturday, 9:00AM, I'll be waiting for you in the school library."

By the way, to make things more tragic, you also learn here that he waited for 14 hours at the library, until he was forced out because it was closing, and before he left he slid a gingko leaf into a book that had a collection of Lord Byron poems, which the MC often carried.

The reason he wanted to say goodbye to MC was because, after his Evol awakened and he was going to graduate, his father enlisted him into special training and (threatens) points out that Bai Qi now has someone he wants to protect, but MC is special and she won't have a peaceful life. Does Bai Qi really think he can protect her (as he is)?

It doesn't say what page Bai Qi placed the gingko leaf into, but in [CN Rumors and Secrets: Ashes] Bai Qi thinks he finally understands one of the poems in the book.

Lord Byron's "Don Juan" - Canto the Ninth, XVI and I bolded the part he quotes:

"To be, or not to be?" — Ere I decide,       I should be glad to know that which is being? 'Tis true — we speculate both far and wide,       And deem, because we see, we are all-seeing; For my part, I'll enlist on neither side       Until I see both sides for once agreeing; For me, I sometimes think that Life is Death, Rather than Life a mere affair of breath.

Meanwhile, in [CN Tide of Light SSR Chasing Dreams Date]:

"That year, I did want to give you that letter personally. But I gave myself a way out and left it up to luck. I knew that, at the time, I was still lacking a lot and so I decided that I had to meet you again with my best self."

On a last note, in [CN Yesterday's Breeze SSR Former Days Date] MC asks Bai Qi if he has ever imagined them not reuniting with each other again:

"I've thought about it before. I've thought about how, if I wasn't there, would there be people who would bully that girl and would there be anyone who'd get back at them for her? I've also thought about whether there'd be someone who'd give her a love letter and if she would end up loving someone else... So, if I was to ever meet her again, I had to make sure to catch her. And I'd never let go again."

BTW, in this date, MC has some sort of dream projection where she goes back to their high school days (but the past her also exists LOL so there's two of them) and she has some fun interactions with a grumpy high school Bai Qi. But the heartbreaking part is that MC sees the letter and runs to find him and you get to hear Bai Qi say, self-deriding, that he knew "she" wouldn't come...

HIS (GUIDING MOONLIGHT) NORTH STAR

So, after seeing just how important MC is to Bai Qi, is it any wonder that every atom of his body is attuned to her? SOBS HE JUST LOVES HER SO MUCH. Xu Mo may have the red string of fate, but Bai Qi has "all roads lead to you". She's his lodestone and his compass always points to her.

[CN Lost Forest SSR]: "I will always walk towards you first. You're forever my flag, the one I've kept to throughout every moment of my life."

[CN Go See Him: Military Uniform]: "This uniform and these medals are my convictions, and you are the direction I move forward in."

[CN Southern Wind SSR Road Trip Date]: "The start and end of this journey is you."

I feel like I'm missing more, because I swear the majority of Bai Qi's cards all seem to have some sort of direction quote and relating it back to MC.

Anyway, I won't bother bringing the examples I put in the other post (because they're over there) but this is also why it melts me whenever there's description about Bai Qi's eyes following MC or whenever he's just focusing his attention on her (with heart eyes) in the ASMRs.

Additionally, in my previous character study for Bai Qi, I talked about how MC and Bai Qi both encourage each other to grow with unconditional love and acceptance, but I want to add some quotes here about just how much he takes becoming a better person for MC to heart:

[Spring Festival Date]: "She's the one who told me I could live more strongly, and she's also the one who told me I could live more gently."

[CN Clear After the Rain SSR]: "You're the only one who can find the real me."

[CN Drunk Easterly Wind SSR Three Worlds Date]: "Regardless of whatever lives we have, I will always take my best self and give it to you. This isn't an undertaking and it's not a joke. All of these are just words from my heart."

[Slightly Drunken Date]: "No matter which side of me, they're all yours."

What can I say except that's love, baby! You don't need to complete each other, you just need to encourage each other to be the best version of yourselves!

FOREVER BY YOUR SIDE

Now that we've gotten through the bulk of what I want to say, I'm just going to dump all the romantic stuff Bai Qi has declared to MC.

It really bothers him that he wasn't there for most of her early life, but he maintains his optimism (wouldn't be surprised if he learned it from her) and looks forward to their future together.

[Prank Date]: "I wasn't there for your university, middle school, or elementary school years, and even the time before then. In my memories, there's only the sight of you in high school. At that time, your hair was longer than it is now. But it doesn't matter. From here on, we have time to create new memories."

[Love of my Life SSR Goodnight Wish Call]: "I just... thought about you in many small instances. For example... a movie, a song, a lyric, when I'm crossing the road, and... the moment I close my eyes [...] As long as you're willing, I want to take all the time that's considered yours and turn it to "ours" [...] I want to know how you were before I met you. I want to walk the roads you've walked before, see the sights you've seen before, and... brand my mark on all those moments [...] Yes. I really care about that. I want to make up for all the time I wasn't there in your life. But, right now, what I care about more is our future [...] In our future... I want to hold your hand and walk to the end of our ever after. That's the best future I can imagine."

[Mediterranean Date]: "The missed holidays, the dates I couldn't make, and the many times I had to disappear without being able to tell you... I've never had the time to make up for all of these things. So, no matter what we do, no matter where we go, as long as the person beside me is you, I won't have a single objection."

[Love of my Life SSR Wish Call]: "My wish? From the second I met you again, the wish I made to the stars every night has already been realized."

[2018 Birthday Message]: "Sometimes, whenever I pass an interesting place, I'll think about when I can bring you here to walk around. Whenever I eat something good, I'll buy one more on habit. And, whenever I run into danger on missions, I just need to think about you and my will to fight is rekindled. Because you're here, happy occasions went from being for one person to being for two people. And all the things that would worry someone have disappeared into nothing. Is it strange to hear me say this? But I want to tell you, just how important you are in my life. I don't believe in fate, but I believe in miracles. Meeting you is the most precious miracle in my life."

[Spring Festival Date]: "In the rest of my life, I want to use it all to accompany you, care for you, and love you. This is all genuine. They're all words I want to say to you... words said only to you."

[Main Story 14-22]: "I'll be with you, until the very last moment."

MOM, I LOVE THIS 2D MAN SO MUCH!! Haha, sorry, I just had to get that out of my system. Thank you for reading up to this point and I hope this lets people appreciate Bai Qi more. Gotta spread more propaganda for him and convince people that he's not just the boring vanilla character.

He's someone who was teetering on the edge of darkness and could have become someone who lashed out at society like Jay, but instead he chose to be a protector of the people and to uphold justice (even if his methods are unconventional and morally grey).

He struggles with insecurity but it never gets in the way of what he wants to do and instead motivates him to continue to better himself for MC. There's nothing wrong with setting someone or something as your goal to get through life. Baby steps until you learn how to run on your own, or not when you find someone who will walk the road of life with you.

He's a man who loved the person who literally saved his life (and is probably his raison d'être) for 7 years, never forgot her during that time, and has finally reunited with her.

Okay, ending this post for real now with the Lunar New Year card. BTW the ENG version is totally fine and I have no qualms with its translation, but I just like the nuance more in the CN and JP version.

CN goes 你是我的此生眷恋 which is literally like "you're my affection/attachment in this life". If I wasn't separating it from the English version, I'd translate it as "love of my life" too to simplify it and make it flow. But I find it interesting that 眷恋 (juan lian; sentimental attachment) is used instead of 挚爱 (zhi ai; true love) and the way you'd actually write "love of my life" is 此生挚爱 (ci sheng zhi ai) rather than the card's 此生眷恋 (ci sheng juan lian).

JP goes おまえは俺の一生の憧れ which is literally like "you're the aspiration/longing of my life". Again, I find it so interesting that neither JP or CN are using the character for love 愛 (ai) and JP's 憧れ (akogare) bundles in feelings of yearning, longing, desire, and aspiration. IMO the JP version drives in the fact that MC is someone Bai Qi's trying to catch up to. He's loved her for so long, tries so hard to better himself, and all of it is to become a person he believes can stand by her side.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

How do you like NaNo so far?

Okay tea! It’s going okay! Honestly, it’s not going as well as I expected but also going... better than I expected (simultaneously lol)!

I’ve been tracking a LOT of things, so on my MyWriteClub, I track if I’ve written that day (I’ve written 12/19 days of the month so far), and I’ve also been tracking on NaNoWriMo’s website (I’ve written just over 4300 words this month). This is a pretty solid streak, and I’ve definitely been writing WAY more often than I usually do, and enjoying it WAY more because of where I’m at in the book.

Y’all, I gotta say it... I love Feeding Habits. I’ve got a huge, huge problem with writing a book, loving it, then feeling embarrassed by it after a few weeks of finishing it, and with Feeding Habits, I’ve been extra hard on it. It’s not that I feel embarrassed by it like I do Moth Work (this is a whole other issue), it’s just been two moods: grueling to write, or magnificent. Most of the time, it’s been grueling, and I have a really hard time not enjoying drafting because it’s my favourite thing about writing and so that affects my mental health, etc, etc. So when I, in this moment, am saying I love Feeding Habits, I just want myself to fully, 100% feel this way, because I know, with the last few books I’ve written, it doesn’t last (not to be pessimistic, but to be grateful for where I am).

NaNo is actually not all that different to me usually writing proces. I actually always think about writing every day, it’s just about 1/7 days a week I may actually do it, more if I’m in a good patch. I can’t give NaNo full credit for my productivity, however. I am in a really great place in Feeding Habits right now, and NaNo occurred right at the start of that, so it was really coincidence and timing that I’m currently doing okay in the book, and therefore, able to produce. I’ve mentioned that I just can’t write when I’m mentally unwell, and that not writing furthers that mental unwellness and so I’m really, really happy with how this month is going with writing right now. I don’t feel heavy, I feel I’ve written a lot of great (and very gay <3) stuff, and I’m so pleased.

I am only tracking NaNo progress for Feeding Habits specifically because I wanted to put more attention on it, and I definitely think it has been successful in that regard! I’ve been doing tons of other writing though, either for classes, or personal stuff (do not ask me how submitting a poem at 11:59pm on the day of the deadline went hahaha), so I feel like I’m... thriving??

Excerpts from Feeding Habits stuff I’ve been working on recently under the cut!

This is the boys’ first ever conversation in months and in the book:

A canoe-rental kiosk ruching the Hudson River. Harrison pays for a two-hour time slot with the last of his savings and lugs it to the shoreline by himself. It is nearly midnight, the sky clogged with fog and moonlight.

Lonan will not enter the water. Back near the kiosk, he fiddles with a beachstone, bathing in tungsten from the streetlamp above him. He gave no reason for his rejection, just picked stones as they walked along the boardwalk, through the parking lot, to the kiosk. As if he’d polish them, feed them through a rock tumbler as if he has patience for that, tend to them like infants, shape, polish, burnish, sell them for thirty dollars a piece and donate the money, as if has the mind to.

Harrison shifts the canoe perpendicular to the water and steps in. The boat cranks under his weight, its coldness seeping through his jeans.

Lonan stoops for more stones. His knees luminescing in white sand. His hair oilslick, cropped to his scalp like blunt grass. His fingers arrowing through sand, a raven filching seed. He unearths the stones with urgency, a paleontologist, a gravedigger.

“You’ll never make a sale on those,” Harrison shouts from the canoe. His voice splinters the night and puffs with the sand.

Lonan nearly drops his handful of stones. It takes him a moment to look up, and when he does, he searches the treeline first, the windows of a parked SUV, the gaps between a thicket of lifejackets before reaching Harrison, and he’s so deerlike, Harrison thinks, he’s so limp, so feeble, so susceptible. His hair jutting briefly from his scalp like an accordion, badly cut probably because Eliza likes it that way. His skin nearly lilac in places, a gauntness in his face, a hunger.

“My mother tells me you like her cooking,” he continues. “That you’re here for your sister. That you’re here alone.”

Lonan reaches for another stone.

“Eliza wants you to look like a deacon.” Harrison frills a hand toward his hair, snaps his fingers like scissors. “So holy. I could ordain you right now. Make you born-again. There’s so much water.”

“I don’t swim,” Lonan says. He reaches for another stone, then another so his palms turn into one.

“You don’t? You’re a land mammal. Rhinoceros. Hippopotamus. Is it the stones? You’re afraid they’ll sink you?”

CANOE SHENANIGANS (#BOYSINABOAT):

Harrison shuffles forward until their knees touch. He reaches. He makes contact. He touches his skin. He touches his ear. He touches cheek. He touches eyes, fingerprints his irises, wrings the tears from his eyelashes, pulls his face by the jaw, cradling his land mammal. He is crying. They should both cry. They are both crying. Their own lake puddling in Harrison’s palm. Theirs as Harrison dips his free hand into the water. Theirs as he hushes Lonan’s writhing. Theirs as he christens him, the water gorging his eyes, his nose, his mouth. Theirs as he promises it will be okay. Theirs as he says he will get to know this stranger. Theirs as they promise to both regrow. Theirs as Harrison jerks the canoe. Theirs as they capsize. Theirs as they reunite in fizzing tide, caught in the river, both animals trapped in amber.

Some context for this next excerpt: Lonan and Harrison get into shenanigans the night before, Harrison ~robs Lonan, abandons him, and yeets himself to the barn mentioned in chapter six where he falls asleep for the night. Here, he wakes up at dawn and is coming up with an excuse to explain why he’s there early to the homeowners. He decides, since they hired him to fix up their barn, he’ll just say he was trying to be a good worker:

Harrison fixes himself in the reflection of an overturned wheelbarrow, its silver belly clouded with rust. He exists the barn dry, well-rested, a richer, more fashionable man.

Before he even finishes ascending the veranda of the Harvey house, Sharleen opens the door. Her white hair is pearled into a bun. She wears a paisley patterned apron, chartreuse.

“Raspberry danishes,” Harrison says. “All I wanted was to bring you some fresh raspberry danishes, but all the bakeries were closed.”

Sharleen rolls up her sleeves. Her hands are caked with flour and fat.

“I considered tulips, but realized I’ve never asked for your favourite flower. Is it tulips? Hydrangeas? Chrysanthemums?”

Sharleen juts open the screen door and holds it open for him. He enters the foyer, and it smells like cinnamon, like sugar.

“I’ve heard marigolds are helpful for warding off squirrels,” he says, taking the hand she offers for his jacket. Sharleen doesn’t jump when he runs his finger across her wedding band and pecks her knuckles with his mouth. She doesn’t even speak. “Is that true?” as they usher toward the kitchen. “Pretty and purposeful. Sounds fake.”

Sharleen dusts her hands on her apron and jars open the kitchen door.

“Could be a double whammy. Or a scam. Or an old wives’ tale,” Harrison says as they walk into the kitchen, so occupied with the marigolds he does not notice when Sharleen returns to the stove to flip a pancake, so occupied, when he turns to the kitchen table, expecting only Harvey but seeing Lonan, all he says is, “Sounds too good to be true.”

The embarrassing aftermath of that lmfao :)

Harrison eats his pancakes on the porch. The Harveys’ dog joins him, a golden retriever named Leila. He cuts her a rift of cake and slots it into her mouth when she whines. One bite for him, another for Leila. Him, Leila, him, Leila. The good news is since he fixed their coffee machine, he now drinks drip.

It does not take long for Lonan to follow him outside. Harrison’s known this was inevitable and has dreaded the last five minutes because of it. He slits another triangle of pancake and feeds it to the dog.

It’s too cold to be out without a jacket. Wind nips Harrison’s ears and icicles his fingertips. Lonan’s shirt, the pale blue button-up he nabbed knowing he’d have cash, brays under the breeze, barely denser than a tissue.

So, after Harrison knocks them into the water (lol), this happens. My favourite description of Lonan: grass, and speck. (TW murder-y??):

“Pull me under,” Lonan said, spitting water, his voice grating under pressure. He trembled, his limbs his betrayal, tremoloing in the waves.

And Harrison did. Dousing him by the shoulders and holding him under so only he floated in the miniscule gap of air, Lonan a sunken, thrashing speck. It was thrilling, holding a body in his hands, determining its fate. And equally as thrilling to hold it as he lulled Lonan back up and over his shoulder where he deflated, gasping. At first Lonan coughed, once twice, heaving saltwater and saliva. But then a birdlike sound, compact but jittering, the wisp of a laugh, and Harrison couldn’t help but wonder if he was thrilled, too

“Do you feel accomplished, Harrison?” Lonan asked, his teeth prattling like an accordion. His hand trailed up the tail of his jacket, scrawling along the soaked leather. Lonan shifted, his body dead weight nearly drowned. And there was the sound again, chirping, “You’re not the first person who’s tried to kill me this year. Congratulations.”

So the tea is that Harrison robs Lonan by swapping shirts with him (tea tea tea), so here’s that scene where they re-swap and Harrison pesters Lonan about not marrying Eliza:

“Why won’t you marry her?” Harrison asks. “You could have children. A honeymoon.”

Lonan stuffs his free hand into his pocket. His breath fogs with every exhale, his nose pinkish with cold. Harrison doesn’t feel any of it, the breath, the cold, his hands. He doesn’t move to button up his flannel. He doesn’t want to move.

“You’re going back to her. You’re here to check on Reeve, and then you’re going back. To get married. To have children. To honeymoon forever.”

Lonan’s hair is awful. Spoking from his scalp like a raven’s wings, some sections ragged, uneven. Not a haircut, but punishment.

“You’re perfect,” Harrison says. He should being shivering, be freezing, but he feels nothing. “Why can’t you say you’re perfect?”

Lonan moves first. They could reabsorb. Go back to blue. But he only reaches for the flannel with his free hand and drapes it around Harrison’s shoulders. Arm by arm, slotting them through the sleeves. Button by button, securing it up his abdomen, his chest, right up to his throat. If Harrison looks closely, one of his eyes is rimmed with scarlet, like a vessel there popped, and a pool of lilac simmers, almost undetectable, across his temple.

“You could’ve married her,” Harrison says. His voice has dropped to a whisper. Lonan swings his jacket around his shoulders, securing his arms through each loop of leather, one, two. Zipping so his exposed skin may rewarm.

“I need to take you home,” Lonan says. Lonan with the broken eye. Lonan with the blackberry skin. Lonan with the teeth-shorn shirt. Lonan with the mowed hair. Lonan with the burned palms. Lonan with the wedding ring that was never really a wedding ring. Lonan who looks as if he’s always prepared to blink, just in case something comes out to get him.

(lonan’s dialogue IS SO SOFT gay PINING said WHOMST i did i am whomst)

god i want to share more but I need to save stuff for the writing update, here’s one MORE THEN I AM GONE:

Harrison sleeps in the car on his way back and doesn’t wake until the next day. In that time, Suzanna slots takeout boxes through the unrolled window, three full meals: sweet corn and tomato fusilli, beef stifado, meatless cassoulet. What she doesn’t know is they sit, untouched, under the passenger’s seat, not because Lonan is averted by her cooking, but because he’s saving them to share, just in case. She brings a vacuum sealed bag of extra comforters the first evening when flurries dot the windshield, Harrison is swathed in them all by the time the snow reaches half an inch. One lined with Sherpa closest to his skin when he stirs, the bulbs of fabric like cottage cheese. In the time he’s in the car he dreams. Of driving into the ocean. Of haircuts. Marriage.

OK BYE

[tripstaysnoided]

Flow Just Like Water

Story and writing-related transparency update and my many shames...

The Question on Everyone’s Mind

“Hey you haven’t updated No Stars over Uptown in almost a year...”

Hmm, I hate it when you’re right. (This section has been rewritten ad-nauseam to curb back the bitchiness by the way)

So back in early/mid 2018, the idea was to divorce Uptown from a person who influenced it (and myself) heavily. She was my most important audience member, the closest friend I ever had, and unfortunately someone who used her power to bully, ostracize, and hurt others with my help. I cut contact when the hurt + some self-awareness finally reached me. Apologies were made and I feel like my work will never be done with it, but there was still Uptown.

Between censored comments, entirely recasting Axel’s save, different plot threads, and a load of disclaimers, there was nothing that would scrub her influence from the story. There was no way to cleanly drop everything because of how deep her influence went. It disgusted me to look back at it, and I had to private the blog because I feared what it endorsed, even if just in the past.

I pulled back from that sims writing community. I had its main thread on the Official Forums removed too (I guess if that was a mystery to anyone). It was a surrender that I never wanted to do, but I had it in my mind that if I was gone, then she wouldn’t be there either. Uptown became this cursed item, and as I quietly retired it, I noticed that she went quieter too. Not gone, but enough to make me sleep easier at night and even occasionally say hello to old friends.

And I hope deep in my heart that no one else is getting hurt in my place, but now this is gonna haunt me all day huh!

The two paths forward...

1) Complete Uptown rewrite that I’ve been threatening everyone with all year. While it won’t ever be clean because I can’t undo time, I do have a sound outline for a story that is much more true to my actual vision and how I’ve evolved, with a few necessary boundaries in place that are going to be there for all stories moving forward: no more casting calls and no more collaborative efforts. I am not going to open myself up to this happening again, even if the people have changed.

2) Same as above, but I continue the original Uptown as a favor to loyal readers alongside the rewrite. I would try to put the effort into it that I initially did, but with no promises on an update schedule and no advertising. I did ask myself “is there Patreon but without pledging money, just the private posts function” but it could operate as part of a private forum, a members-only part of a website, etc.

Also readers of the original would be beholden to a rule of “don’t spoil the rewrite for new readers, c’mon guys”. I mean, not really, but it is a good courtesy to extend to people.

Priority on this isn’t high but you at least will see what is!

I will probably make the blog public again either way due to the many broken links on my Tumblr but we’ll see. There are other things to deal with as I shall list!

Where Life’s Been Regardless

Been spending more time with my grandpa every weekend. Life’s pretty good and he’s warming up to my dogs.

Shiny New Webbed Site

Cucumber Fields Forever is a site I own now. We have a full domain, cucumberfieldsforever.com, a blog with one post, and the framework needed to host stories the way I want to and still through WordPress. The functionality of likes, comments, and following should still be the same but you know...I’ll take feedback too...

The main blog still has an undefined purpose though I do have drafts sitting around about:

The maybe/maybe not hoax band that was on the Metal Archives and the history of Funeral Doom Metal.

The curious case of when Sims 4 babies get their genetics and my only collaboration (read: was talking about it with a friend and might quote her if needed, it’s actually a bit of a doozy)

Amazon.com’s fake dried udon noodles, an actual issue by the way.

Things I’m reading! (This’d be a monthly feature if so)

For the sake of unity, I am thinking of solutions for hosting old and shameful content there including Uptown and for the real fans in my followers feed, Eight Cicadas...a world I totally have plans for too (not really). I don’t want them to be front-and-center, and that’s why I mentioned forums/members-only content. I finally have that power! Maybe.

Ooooh but what are the costs? Not too much to handle, that’s what. 😉 (Like really, I don’t need any hand-wringing about this, I can manage my finances)

Project Queue (In Order of Confirmedness)

Outrun the Scythe: have you seen me post out-of-context Sims 3 pictures? Did you want more? Did you hope it was Linda in Custody? If the answers are yes, yes, and “meh, whatever you want”, then you’re in luck.

Outrun the Scythe is a Sims 3-based tale of a young gay man and his zombie grandma, as they are both offered separate roles of being the undying intermediaries between the world of humans and the influence of a race of space daemons. It’s pretty familiar if you’ve been following me pre-Uptown, taking some cues from stories I’ve kept under lock and key like Eight Cicadas, The Chains of Lyra, and the not-so-locked-up Ironstar Immortals (of which Outrun is just the direct sequel to sans any retconning...ah the smell of early 2013 and performative heterosexuality)

Ah, back to my roots.

It’s a hybrid of gameplay, story, and lore about my little race of daemons with a lot of my own idiosyncrasies that I’m not really ashamed of: basing it off a super-polarizing Sims 3 challenge from a site I moderate, using a lot of EA’s pre-made townies and their genes, lots of unnecessary posemaking, stupid references. It’s a comfort to have in my roster.

While the first few chapters are in the middle of revision, I have around six in the queue and will be making this public when I have ten. I’m guessing December then?

Undocumented Black Widow Challenge: I just did this for fun/forum kudos (yes, in fact I have joined many forums), there was going to be a short story but it was quickly becoming something against my code of ethics. I mean, sims die and all. (read: I had to choose between “heterosexual widow” and “widow with some same-sex marriages that still end in tragedy, reinforcing negative stereotypes to the public for the sake of me not getting bored and detached during gameplay” so there were no good choices. Except for her affair with the mailwoman, 10/10) I hope to finish this before October ends and get my medal on Boolprop, I’m pretty far through it all. I might upload the sims involved anyways. This is for TS4.

I mentioned it because it’s keeping me busy. But not for long!

NaNoWriMo 2020: Dipping my toes into that again! It’s not sims-related, just a tale of lesbians, nosy neighbors, a haunted beach house, and some light murder and kidnapping. And I actually got my brother to scout out locations for me this weekend. If there’s any demand, I can share chapters as the rough drafts are finished, especially for the sake of proofreading.

Not saying I’m publishable, but wouldn’t it be nice? Will keep me occupied for much of November.

Untitled “Dear Diary” Challenge: Tired of feeling left out of the fun on the Boolprop forums, their “Dear Diary” challenge was the one that appealed to me the most on first glance. Why? Probably once I found an idea that let it be set in the early/mid-2000′s to begin with and explore some interesting characters through diary entries (which I have mixed feelings on as a literary device but I think that’s just me saying “well I didn’t like Dracula”, yes you get bonus points for writing it like a diary)

Also writing is the one skill I’m good at across multiple games. Wanna hear me bitch about the cooking skill tree in TS4 or riding in TS3? I’ll spare you.

I guess I could have included “spending time on Boolprop with old and new friends” in where my life has been. It’s a nice lil community if also a place with its own idiosyncrasies as well. So it doesn’t feel like I’m promoting another community if/when I make a thread there for Outrun the Scythe, I want to have a couple chapters of this ready to go by Outrun’s release, though it’s not gonna be the highest priority compared to it nor as long because I think I can blast through the gameplay quickly.

This one will be played in TS4 due to it having the easiest writing skill/I dunno variety is the spice of life. And hopefully another December release.

Defunded or Forgotten?: Oh shit I actually released stuff in 2020 and told no one? I do have a “mortifying ordeal of being known” sinking feeling whenever I get a site hit because it’s not my best work (but good enough) and veered sharply into issues I may be over my head in, though I try to be a good noodle with research and listening. Maybe hiding is bad after all.

Being based off a very flawed and incomplete Sims 3 challenge I found in the annals of the Official Forums, there’s a lot of behind-the-scenes work just making sense of things. And I’m scared of working on reconstructing the house but I haven’t abandoned the project yet. The story has eight chapters so far and is pretty game-based with some additions here and there. Scared of how long it could be though!

Date for this unknown.

Untitled Sunlit Tides Decadynasty: another year-long abandoned TS3 project with a much stupider reason why. Last update was about Hua getting ready for her wedding, and I wanted to do some poses for a bait-and-switch wedding chapter because to put it mildly, her real one was an absolute disaster.

Blender decided to fuck up its interface again, I got discouraged (this probably does account for some of the Uptown delays too), and when I decided to plow forward, it was for other projects instead.

Meanwhile I played all the way to Gen 5′s teenhood and the only thing stopping me is time (it takes almost 30 minutes to load the file right now, though they’ll be looking at moving towns in a couple gens) and maybe fear of the Logic skill.

Date for this also unknown but it’s easy to pump out updates once I’m in the groove for it. My third heir had a difficult life so maybe I’m just trying to bury it.

Also I just noticed the view count there was really good and probably because I linked it here on Tumblr last year. Thank you so much guys. I can’t really fret over views on Carl’s forum these days thanks to the years-long death spiral pretty much every forum anywhere has been riding on. But it’s a nice surprise. And it’s an alright little challenge recap to read during your lunch break or whatever.

The Wawas

I figured I’d end on the real news everyone wants! Both the chihuahuas are a year and a half now and reached their adult size around a year ago. For the most part, they are happy and healthy dogs.

[ashiversary]

If We're Honest - Chapter 3

Read the full fic on ao3!

It was a testament to how little Blanche knew Candela that they did not see this coming.

Blanche stared at the restaurant, which was one of the most upscale in Opal City, with dismay. The patrons glittered in suits and floor-length gowns with diamonds and sipped the most expensive wines the city had to offer. “I am not dressed for this,” Blanche said as Candela took their arm and steered them through the door.

“Don’t worry, darling, they know me here,” Candela replied. This was not reassuring, as Candela was wearing a red silk gown with a plunging neckline and golden six-inch heels. Rubies glimmered at her ears and throat, and a series of gold bangles covered her wrists. She was stunning. Blanche could not believe she kept red-carpet attire in a gym bag in her car.

They considered it extremely discourteous of her to not warn them. Or give them the chance to stop by their apartment to change into a suit.

The only comfort was that Spark hadn’t changed either, and was still in his orange tank and leather jacket.

“Candy, I thought we were going to a steakhouse!” Spark complained as Candela spoke to the hostess.

“This is a steakhouse! Yes, I have a reservation for three,” Candela said when the hostess asked.

“Just because steaks are on the menu does not make it a steakhouse,” Blanche said. Spark sent them a grateful look for taking his side, and the sense of camaraderie made Blanche feel slightly better.

Candela did not reply, and Spark and Blanche were forced to follow her and the hostess through the restaurant to the table. It was covered by a snow-white tablecloth and crystal wine glasses. Spark went to pull out Candela’s chair, which pleased her, but Blanche made sure to sit down before Spark could repeat the gesture for them. No thank you.

Their little group attracted some curious and amused glances, which was no surprise given that Candela was the only one dressed appropriately for the venue. Blanche did their best to ignore the attention as they unfolded their pristine white cloth napkin and draped it over their lap. Despite their efforts, their face and chest grew hot and sweaty at the sound of nearby laughter. It was a couple on a date who weren’t even looking in their direction, but it felt like their amusement was directed at Blanche regardless.

It could have been worse, they knew. At least Spark was in the same boat as them. He whined to Candela for misleading him about where they were going to eat, and she smirked in reply. She seemed to enjoy being the best dressed person at the table. Blanche could deal with agents of chaos, but they liked to have some warning that was what they were dealing with.

As Spark flipped his menu open, he grumbled, “They probably don’t even have chicken tenders here.”

Blanche had to stifle a laugh as they were reminded of their twin, whose tastes leaned toward juvenile.

Candela grimaced. “Definitely not. But they do have steak!” She helped Spark by flipping to the appropriate page of his menu. “Ribs too, see?”

Appeased for the moment, Spark scanned the page for his choices while Candela ordered a bottle of wine for the table. Red, of course.

Blanche scanned their own menu and winced at the prices. They had been a research assistant for the last few years, and that had not been a high-paying job. Spark must be able to read their face, because he leaned into their space while Candela was busy chatting with the server about the day’s specials. “I can cover ya, if ya want,” Spark whispered.

Blanche flushed. They could make it work with their finances. It just would have been easier if they hadn’t moved from a different region recently. “It’s all right. I’ll manage.”

“Seriously, it’s fine. Candy comes from money, so she forgets about this stuff. It’s not payday yet. Let me cover you.”

Ugh, he had such a reassuring smile. “I’ll pay you back later.” They hoped he would not argue. Soulmate or not, they did not know him well enough to accept freebies yet.

“Sure thing!”

This arrangement did make them feel better, and they were able to choose a tasty-looking seafood dish without too much guilt. Spark ordered his steak, along with vegetables and an extra side of potatoes. Blanche couldn’t imagine attempting to eat that much food at once, but Candela acted as if this were normal.

The table lapsed into silence, and Blanche felt that they ought to say something to incite conversation. After all, they were the new person being integrated into an established friendship (Blanche wasn’t sure about thinking of either of them as more than that yet). “So, Candela, were you born in Opal?” Blanche asked, fishing for a safe topic.

Something flickered across her face that told them that this topic might not have been as safe as they had thought. However, before they could apologize and backtrack, she smiled. “Oh, not at all! I’ve lived here for a couple years now, but I was born in Unova.”

“I see.” Blanche had never been to Unova and was curious about what kind of pokemon Candela saw growing up. But there was a strange tension in the air, so they weren’t sure it would be right to ask.

Spark, however, felt no such restraint. “Candy’s got four older brothers!” He grinned as he said it. “Can ya believe it? I’m an only child, so I can’t imagine.”

“It sounds boisterous,” Blanche replied.

Candela waved a hand. “It certainly was! It’s much quieter now that they don’t talk to me.”

Oh. Despite her flippant tone, there was pain in her eyes. “May I ask?” She didn’t have to tell them if she didn’t want to, but they would like to know the source of her pain if she was comfortable sharing it with them.

She sighed and drummed her fingers on the table before she picked up her wine and took a generous sip. “It was stupid, really.”

“I’m sure it isn’t stupid, if it caused you pain,” Blanche murmured.

Candela sent them a grateful look. “Thank you, darling. But how it happened was stupid.” She sighed and tapped the side of her wine glass. “Spark knows the story. My family has a long history tied to Moltres. It’s kind of like our guardian legendary. The tradition is that the oldest child will form a bond, which is like this telepathic connection, with Moltres. It was supposed to be my oldest brother Lucifel next, but I encountered Moltres while walking home one night. It recognized my bloodline and formed the bond.” She sighed again.

“And that’s bad?” Blanche asked.

Candela shrugged. “My parents were furious. In their mind, I usurped tradition and stole my brother’s birthright. It didn’t matter that I didn’t do it on purpose. I was a bad and rebellious daughter who brought shame to the family. Everyone stopped talking to me, even my Grandma. Eventually I couldn’t take it and moved in with my cousin in Alola. Her family is much less traditional than mine. One way or another, I ended up here.”

Spark reached out to rub her bare shoulder. She leaned into the touch and managed a small smile. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to put a dampener on our date.”

“It’s no problem, Candy. Don’t worry about it.”

The server came back with their meals, offering fresh ground pepper before disappearing to serve the next table. Blanche sampled their seafood pasta and was very pleased - it was delicious, with just the right amounts of butter and garlic.

Blanche didn’t want to detract from Candela’s story, but now seemed like a good time to mention Articuno.

“I do know about bonds with legendaries,” Blanche said. Both of the others looked at them in surprise, though Candela recovered first and took advantage of Spark’s inattention to steal a bite of his steak. Blanche ignored this and continued. “While I was travelling around Kanto and Johto with Professor Oak, I encountered Articuno.”

“And it bonded with you?” Spark asked with far more excitement than Blanche thought that the situation warranted. He shook Candela’s shoulder. “Did you hear that, Candy? Can you believe it?”

“Right?” Candela said around another stolen bite of steak. “Three for three. What are the odds, Sparky?”

“I beg your pardon?” Blanche was missing some context.

“Sparky here is bonded with Zapdos!” Candela said, laughing, draping an arm around Spark’s shoulders and pointing to his face.

“Are you joking?” Blanche wanted to make sure. They weren’t always the best at catching on to jokes.

“Nope! Met it at the power plant with my Uncle when I was a kid. Been together ever since.”

Blanche looked between them. They could understand the other two’s mirth now. What were the chances of the three of them being soulmates, team leaders of the Go Program, and bonded to Kanto’s titans? “Unbelievable.” Was all they could think to say.

“I know!” Spark said.

“Well, eat up, you two,” Candela said. “The food is getting cold.”

The date was very relaxed after that, enough so that Blanche forgot to be self conscious that they weren’t dressed appropriately for the venue. The wine made them all tipsy. Spark and Candela tried to talk Blanche into coming to Spark’s apartment to play Super Smash Bros, but Blanche wasn’t comfortable with that yet and ended up taking a taxi home. Once there, they kicked off their shoes and flopped face down on their bed until morning.

The next day, the soulmate bond between the team leaders seemed to be all anyone could talk about. By lunch Blanche was both annoyed and flustered by all the people congratulating them and the shy approaches from young interns asking if the rumours were true. It didn’t help that interest kicked up several notches when Spark and Candela showed up at lunch with grins and sandwiches.

Blanche accepted their invitation to a picnic with a sigh.

“Aw, Blanche, we’re gonna think you aren’t happy to see us,” Spark teased as they settled into a small courtyard outside Mystic Headquarters.

Blanche was squinting at their sandwich with suspicion. It was somehow their favourite, despite the fact that they had no recollection of telling Spark what kind of sandwiches they liked. They hadn’t been so drunk the night before as to have forgotten something like that. “Did Annie tell you what sandwiches I like?” they wondered out loud, for that was the only explanation they could think of. As their assistant, Annie was almost always around. She would have picked up on their tastes.

Spark’s expression turned sheepish, and he shook his head. “Um, no, about that…” he began, and Blanche turned their suspicious squint from the sandwich to him. Candela choked on her apple juice as she laughed, and Spark waved a hand. “No, no, it’s nothing weird! I just, y’know, happened to run into Noire, so I asked.”

That didn’t clear things up. “How did you run into Noire?”

“Well, they dropped by Instinct - like, literally, through the ceiling - to steal some rare pokemon eggs. I recognized ‘em as your sib, so, y’know, once I’d thwarted their plans I asked.”

Candela laughed harder. “Darling, you’re so weird,” she sighed. “You captured a Rocket exec just to interrogate them about Blanche’s food preferences?”

“Well, sure,” Spark said. “Why not?”

Blanche put their face in their hands. They could not believe Noire had not called to laugh at them about their soulmate being a major dork. In fairness, Noire was also a major dork.

“Anyway, they’re coming over tonight so I can wreck their ass in Mario Kart. Wanna join?” Spark continued.

Blanche supposed they could not complain about Noire and Spark getting along if this fledgling potential relationship was to work out. But goodness it was awkward.

“Oh, I’d love to come,” Candela said, getting her laughter under control. Her smile glittered dangerously, and there was no doubt she would also love to kick Noire’s butt at Mario Kart. “I have to pay them back for messing with my team, don’t I?” She leaned over to wrap her free arm around Blanche’s. “Do come, Blanche. It won’t be as much fun without you.”

And if that wasn’t one of the sweetest things Blanche had ever been told. Their cheeks went pink. No one had ever called them fun before. They were too serious, too awkward, too stoic. Noire was the fun, friendly one. But if they were wanted… “I’ll see if I can make time,” Blanche said, trying to play it cool.

“Great! I’ll provide snacks. All ya gotta do is show up,” Spark said, beaming.

“Very well.” Blanche was abysmal in the kitchen, so at least it wasn’t going to be a potluck. Candela was still holding onto their arm. It felt nice. Very nice.

Blanche still had not told them.

The thought of bringing up their background made their heart hammer and a lump stick in their throat. It was too hard. They did not want to. But if they did not, would it not be deceitful? Candela and Spark had both told Blanche things about their pasts, things that were difficult for them to say. Reciprocating would be the right thing to do.

“While you’re here, there was something I wanted to tell you,” Blanche began. Even those words had to be forced out of their mouth. Candela gave their arm a brief squeeze. There was so much comfort in that touch. It gave Blanche the courage to continue. Spark stopped teasing the wild pidgey that had landed on his shoulder in hopes of bits of sandwich, and was giving Blanche his full attention. He didn’t seem to notice that this gave the pidgey the opportunity to steal a large chunk of his sandwich meat and take flight for a nearby tree to eat its spoils.

“When we were children, Noire and I were found on the streets of Orre.” The memories, vague and clouded as they were, came up. Blanche pushed the back in order to continue. “We were found by Team Rocket taking shelter among stacks of pallets at an abandoned warehouse. I do not remember how we got there. Neither does Noire.” They only remembered two days prior at most, but they weren’t sure of that. They remembered twisting a spigot on the side of the building and getting a thin trickle of water. They remembered hunger, blistering hot days, and cold nights. Fear. That was all.

“That’s okay, Blanche,” Spark hastened to reassure them. “We’re all orphans, in a way.” He glanced at Candela, whose parents were still alive but had effectively abandoned her. “It’s okay.”

“Thank you. But that’s not it.” Blanche drew in a deep breath, then pressed on. “I don’t recall anything before that clearly. But I do have… I suppose I would call them *impressions* of things. Nothing clear. Locked doors. Needles. Terror. People in white coats. That’s all.”

Spark scooted until he was sitting on Blanche’s other side. He draped his arm over their shoulders and squeezed. “That’s rough. Thank you for telling us,” he murmured.

Blanche was mortified to feel tears prick their eyes. They swiped at their face with the back of their hand to wipe away the moisture, and Spark squeezed again. “Hey. It’s okay. Cry if you gotta. It’s tough stuff we’re talking about.”

Blanche hiccuped, and despite Spark’s reassurance, they were ashamed of their weakness. How stupid was it to cry over things that the didn’t even remember? “I might not be human,” they choked out.

“Of course you are!” Candela’s voice was fierce. She pushed up until she was kneeling and cupped their face in her hands. Blanche wanted to look away, but Candela wasn’t having it. “No, no, you listen to me,” she said. Her eyes were gold. Had Blanche ever noticed that before? “You are human. Absolutely. Just as human as me and Sparky over there, even though he has the mentality of a pokemon sometimes and eats weird things he finds in the forest.”

Blanche gave a wet laugh, and Candela smiled in relief. “Hey, I’m serious! He once ate this weird twisty berry and his face was paralyzed for an entire day. Who does that?”

“Hey! It was only temporary. And Go dared me. I don’t back down from a challenge, Candy.”

“But did you learn your lesson? No!” Candela shot back. “He tried to eat an apricorn the next day,” she explained to Blanche.

“Apricorns can be juiced, but they are not edible raw,” Blanche said.

“Well, I know that now,” Spark said. “Geez, Candy, you never let anything go.”

“It was only two months ago Spark!” Despite her more aggressive tone toward Spark, Candela’s hands remained gentle on Blanche’s face. She stopped frowning at Spark to smile at Blanche and give them a soft kiss on the forehead. Blanche flushed and automatically pulled away. They weren’t used to such casual affection.

Fortunately, Candela didn’t seem to be offended. “Finish your sandwich, Blanche,” she said, and settled herself back on the grass to eat her own.

Spark was frowning as his sandwich like he’d just realized there was a chunk missing. Blanche opted not to tell him about the pidgey. “Like Candy said,” Spark continued. “You’re human for sure. No matter how your life started. Okay?”

“Okay,” Blanche said.

The other two had to leave shortly after in order to make it back to their respective team headquarters in time. Blanche was sorry to see them go. They couldn’t quite see the relationship as romantic yet, but they were starting to consider Spark and Candela to be very good friends.

And maybe that was how it started. As friends. There was always the chance to move on to other things later.

Then again, given the behaviour the other two had exhibited, they clearly didn’t view this as a platonic relationship of any sort.

When they got back to their office, Annie had a stack of reports waiting that needed their review and approval. She smiled at them as they slid behind their desk. “Did you have a good lunch?” she chirped.

“Yes, thank you,” Blanche replied. They picked up the first report in the stack and grimaced, already knowing that this one was going to be a mess. This tech was brilliant in the lab, but their writing left much to be desired.

“I’m glad you’re taking proper breaks now,” she said. “I thought you were going to be one of the types that works themselves to death when you first started, so I’m glad that’s not the case.”

Blanhce grimaced at being so accurately called out. “I am exactly that type.” It was difficult to focus on a conversation and skim a report at the same time, and their attention drifted away from Annie to the report in their hands. “I haven’t been given much of a choice about taking breaks at the moment, though.” After all, it was Spark and Candela who kept showing up unannounced and making them leave work that they otherwise wouldn’t.

Because Annie no longer registered in their mind, they missed her murmured, “Is that so?” and the thoughtful gleam in her eye. Therefore, they did not expect it later when she put her hands on their desk with a smile and said, “Chief! Leader Spark is here to pick you up!”

Blanche was in the middle of working through a thorny supplier issue and it took them a second to process what she’d said, so what came out was an intelligent, “Huh?”

Annie continued to smile. “Leader Spark is waiting for you down in reception! We couldn’t let him come up because of the Pokemon snuffles outbreak among some new breeding pairs at Instinct. It’s a minor illness but highly contagious, so it’s better if he doesn’t access the elevator used to transport lab pokemon.” While she talked, Annie packed the materials she knew they would want to take him with them into their briefcase, along with some thumb drives and a malfunctioning lure Blanche had been trying to repair in their spare time.

“But why is he here?” Blanche glanced at the clock. “It’s only six.”

“It’s 6:45.” Was it Blanche’s imagination or did Annie’s smile look a bit threatening? “I heard that you, Leader Spark, and Leader Candela have plans for the evening. It’s rude to keep them waiting!”

Blanche blinked at her as she tossed their coat over their shoulders and shoved their briefcase into their hands.

Baffled by Annie’s pushiness, Blanche nonetheless logged out of their computer and complied. They did not want to be on bad terms with their assistant, and it seemed important to Annie that Blanche clear out. The warning edge to her tone dissipated when Blanche stood up and shoved their arms through the sleeves of their coat.

They eyed Annie with suspicion. “You seem to be in quite a hurry to see me out.”

“Not at all!” That was feigned innocence if Blanche ever saw it. “It’s just that Leader Spark is already here and all, and it would be rude to make him wait.”

Blanche didn’t know what she was up to, but they supposed it wouldn’t be anything nefarious. To their understanding, Annie had been with Mystic for some time and there had never been any complaints about her conduct. “All right. Have a good evening.”

“You too, Chief! See you tomorrow!”

Blanche locked the office door behind them, and with a final wave, Annie skipped off to her own, smaller office, presumably to get ready to leave herself.

Spark was indeed waiting when Blanche reached the main level. Rather than his typical leader attire, he was wearing jeans that appeared to have torn and faded through wear rather than been purchased that way and a T-shirt that said “If found, return to Go.”

“Is that a custom shirt?” Blanche asked as they approached.

Spark had been browsing memes on his phone. At the sound of Blanche’s voice, he put his phone away and leaped up to take their hands. Blanche was caught off guard and let him, though their cheeks went pink when he squeezed their hands with obvious affection. “Heya, Blanche! Ready to go?”

“I suppose. I’d like to stop by my place and change, if that’s all right.”

“No prob!” Spark let go of one of Blanche’s hands, but held on to the other as he led them to where he’d parked his car on the street. “And yeah, me’n Go had these made up a li’l while after I started with Instinct. I keep it and the jeans in a bag at work in case my clothes get yucked. You know how it is, working with pokemon.”

“Indeed.” Blanche slid into the passenger’s seat and crossed their legs. “I find your change of clothes much more practical than Candela’s.”

Spark laughed, and Blanche knew they were both thinking of the red dress and accessories from the other day. “Yeah, well, Candy’s like that. She does have a change of more practical clothes at Valor, too. And gym clothes. She says she’s gotta be prepared for any situation, her appearance included. Gotta admire that, even if it’s not for me.”

“I suppose.”

They pulled in next to Blanche’s apartment. Blanche went upstairs to stow away their briefcase and change into something more casual. They weren’t comfortable enough with the other two yet to not dress on the nicer end of casual, so they put on their nicest pair of jeans and a teal button-up shirt. After that they floundered a little, unsure what was expected of them and if they needed to bring anything else. Spark had said they just needed to show up, but did they really?

This was ridiculous. They were keeping him waiting with pointless dithering. Blanche sighed and trooped back out. Spark had passed the time by browsing memes again, and he put his phone away and headed in what Blanche assumed was the direction of his own home.

The inside of Spark’s apartment was cluttered and cozy, but also gave away the fact that a bachelor lived there. There was equipment for raising baby pokemon scattered about, dirty dishes scattered in the sink, and Blanche saw through an open door that Spark’s shower curtain was shoved straight through the rod. There was a nice smell wafting from the kitchen, and Candela poked her head out.

“Spark! I pulled the stuff in the oven like you asked!” she said, coming over to give Spark a hug. They seemed to have adjusted easily to the reality of being soulmates and had made the shift from friends to lovers without thinking too deeply about it. Blanche wished they could be so lighthearted about things.

“Thanks, Candy. Ya got it at the right temperature, yeah?” he asked, kicking off his shoes and placing them on the rack by the door. The shoes on the rack were a mess, but Blanche supposed the fact that they were up off the floor was a point in Spark’s favour as they discarded their own shoes and added them to the mess.

“Of course I’ve got them on the right temp. I know how to work an oven,” Candela said, her lips turning downward in a pout. This might be the first time Blanche had seen her without lipstick. Candela rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest as Spark passed her on the way into the kitchen. “He doesn’t trust me,” she huffed to Blanche, who smiled.

“I do trust ya, Candy! I just… gotta make sure.” Blanche could not see Spark from their vantage point, but they could hear pots clanking as he moved around.

With no idea what else to do, since they doubted they would fit in Spark’s kitchen while he and Candela were already in there, Blanche sat on the couch. Their lap was immediately invaded by a clutch of tiny Vulpix kits, who seemed to have been sleeping under a blanket until Blanche disturbed them. Delighted, Blanche scratched their little heads and was relieved that they had not chosen to sit on that blanket. If they had crushed the little babies, they would have died.

There was a knock at the door, which Candela went to answer. “Hello Rocket,” she said, managing somehow to sound both cheerful and menacing at the same time.

The response was unmistakably Noire. “Bite me.”

Noire stomped into the apartment still wearing their boots. “We brought booze- oh, babies!” they broke off with a gasp. Noire shoved the packs of beer into Candela’s arms and knelt on the floor in front of Blanche to coo at the kits.

Amelie kicked off her own boots, gave Candela a polite nod, and came in to join them.

Whatever Spark was doing in the kitchen caused the apartment to be full of delectable smells. Noire kept sniffing the air as they tried to steal all of the Vulpix kits from Blanche’s lap. Blanche kept stealing them back, and this continued until the kits began to protest loudly and Amelie confiscated them all.

Noire counted this as a victory until they realized that she did not plan to share with them, and they returned to the couch to sulk with Blanche.

Spark came out of the kitchen bearing steaming pans of food, and they all gravitated in that direction with their mouths watering. “I didn’t know you could cook,” Blanche commented to Spark.

He grinned, but there was an edge of shyness to it. “Oh, yeah, I love to cook. Feeding people is one of my favourite things.”

There was rice and stir-fried veggies, a platter of meatballs, bread that appeared home-made, though it was not fresh from the oven, and a plate of fresh-baked cookies. They all piled their plates high and settled around the living room, since Spark didn’t have enough chairs in his tiny eating area, and the chairs he did have held baskets of sleeping Pichu.

Candela and Spark opted to sit on the floor, sitting close enough to brush against Blanche’s legs. Amelie sat on the couch with Noire half lounging in her lap. Whenever Noire’s feet came too close to Blanche’s lap, and therefore their plate, Blanche would pinch Noire’s toes.

“This is delicious,” said Blanche. On impulse, they ruffled Spark’s hair, and was immediately embarrassed.

Spark twisted around to grin up at them. “Thanks! Glad you like it!” He lifted one hand to squeeze Blanche’s knee, and their face went hot. Spark blinked in surprise at their reaction, then smiled. “Hey, uh, Blanche,” he said, almost shy.

“Hm?”

“Sorry if this is sudden, but… Can I kiss you?”

Blanche flushed all over and a nervous, fluttery feeling filled their chest. It was probably too soon, but Blanche wasn’t as opposed to the idea as they thought they would be.

Blanche’s hands clenched their jeans and they bit their lower lip as they nodded. “I suppose,” they said, aware that their voice sounded small and uncertain.

Spark had not removed his hand from Blanche’s knee. He kept it there for support as he turned toward Blanche and shifted into a kneeling position. Blanche’s heart pounded against their ribs as he leaned closer. When they felt his breath on their face and his hand cup their cheek, they closed their eyes.

The kiss was soft and gentle. It was obvious that Spark was trying not to scare them away. Blanche’s hand came up to grip Spark’s t-shirt, and they only pulled away when Noire started making fake gagging sounds.

“Blanche, gross,” Noire groaned.

Blanche turned their head to glare at their twin. “Like you don’t kiss Amelie in front of me.”

Noire glared back. “That’s different. I’m eating here!”

Blanche was going to snap back, but hands on their face distracted them. Blanche looked up in surprise as Candela shoved Spark out of the way and settled on Blanche’s lap. “Aw, does little Noire not like PDA?” she purred, snuggling against Blanche’s chest and turning their face the same red as her t-shirt. She looped an arm around Blanche’s neck and smirked at Noire.

While Noire sputtered, Candela leaned in so close that her breath tickled Blanche’s ear as she whispered, “May I have a kiss too, darling?”

Half the reason they accepted was desire, but they would be lying if the other half wasn’t the need to antagonize Noire.

Whatever concerns Spark had about scaring Blanche away, Candela did not share. This was not a light, gentle kiss. It was hot and hungry, and by the time Candela pulled away Blanche was panting to catch their breath.

Candela smiled at them, softer and happier than Blanche had ever seen her.

They opened their mouth to say something, but were interrupted by Spark’s whistle. “Nice, Candy,” he said, awed.

Candela snorted.

Blanche peeked to the side to gauge Noire’s reaction. Noire was red-faced and sputtering. When their eyes met Blanche’s they snapped. “What the HELL. Did you invite me here just to watch you guys make out?”

Blanche couldn’t help it - they started to laugh. Soon the others joined in, even Amelie, while Noire whined and sputtered.

This wasn’t bad. It was quite nice. Blanche wouldn’t mind having soulmates, if it meant they could have a lot of days like this in their future.

[kytea]

The True Nature of Deltarune

Deltarune Chapter 1 has been out for over a year now, and being the big UT/DR fan that I am, I’ve been slowly mulling over both games, reading many fan theories and putting together my own interpretation of what I believe the nature and goal of Deltarune will be. This will be a long one so grab some popcorn, put on your matpat hats and click to keep reading!

So what is Deltarune? Is it a sequel to Undertale? Is it a prequel? Is it an alternate universe? Is it the coming of age story of a bunch of teens? Is it a complex meta-narrative on the nature of video games?

The answer is yes to all of the above. And to begin delving into this we must first understand the creator of this game: Toby Fox.

I won’t toot Toby’s Fox’s horn too much, we all know how talented and hardworking he is, but he’s also very emotionally perceptive and empathic. His general disposition is reminiscent of avant-garde artists that push the boundaries of artistic creation in a medium.

Toby loves mysteries, and in the early version of Undertale there was an included file that disparaged hackers and went on to say that it’s difficult to add mysteries in games these days due to data miners and such.

Thankfully, this did not stop Toby from lovingly adding quite a few big mysteries to Undertale that have yet to be resolved. Knowing Toby and his strong desire to share his story, a story that according to him, kept him awake at night:

“For the past 3 years I've been waking up in the middle of the night unable to go back to sleep because I've been thinking about the scenes that happen in the game. Even though so many details are still hazy, I really want to show you the things I've been thinking about.That's really my only reason for making this game. If I don't show you what I'm thinking, I'll lose my mind.“

I don’t believe Toby will let these mysteries go unanswered, and it is here that we can begin to understand what Deltarune is about.

The Mystery of W.D. Gaster

Truly, the biggest mystery of Undertale is that of W.D. Gaster: former royal scientist, creator of the CORE and the Determination Extraction machine.

A player can go through the entirety of Undertale multiple times and never even hear word of Gaster’s existence. This is because all the events that pertain to him are hidden behind a value in the game’s files known as the “FUN value”. Outside of actually manipulating this file manually yourself, it is, to the average player, random. The FUN value can trigger multiple different events throughout the game, some of which include running into “Followers of Gaster” or even Gaster himself.

While the latter has nothing to say before he “boings” out of existence, the former Followers all tell an eerie tale of a scientist who fell into his own creation and was scattered across time and space.

But hold on. Time and space? Why does that sound familiar?

Ah yes, during the Sans battle he speaks about an “massive anomaly in the timespace continuum”.

And during this battle Sans says a lot of other cryptic things without context, for example, he laments not being able to “go back” somewhere. But where or when is he referring to?

He mentions how he and others were monitoring time-lines and their readings showed them stopping and starting, jumping left and right, and eventually ending. Who was he monitoring these readings with? This all seems incredibly scientific and sci-fi, I thought Sans was just a silly skeleton, is he some kind of time cop? (he does have a “badge” in his workshop) He also uses skeletal weapons known as “Gaster Blasters”.

What…? Gaster Blaster?

Okay, now we KNOW Sans DEFINITELY has some connection to this mysterious scientist W.D. Gaster, but what? Well, for starters W.D. Gaster is short for Wing Dings Gaster, a type of font that he also speaks in.

Who else is named after and speaks in specific font types? Sans and Papyrus of course!

Furthermore, in the concept sketches for Papyrus, Toby wrote and redacted parts of a message that says: “has a brother named comic sans and a [BLANK] named [BLANK]”.

Who is this mysterious redacted person and what is their relationship to Sans and Papyrus? The easy money is on a family member, and for sake of argument lets use the prediction most of the fandom has already concluded and accepted: that Sans and Papyrus have a father named Gaster.

So Sans and Papyrus have a long lost father that was a scientist. This explanation would begin to explain why Sans has a weapon named after him, and why he wanted to “go back” to some place or time, perhaps in an effort to save him from his fate.

There’s a hidden event in Undertale where if you reset after listening to Sans speak about LOVE and EXP in a pacifist route, and initiate the conversion a couple of times in a row, he’ll catch on by the expression your face that you’ve heard it before and will surmise that you’re a time traveller and give you secret code words to tell his past self.

This will lead to him giving you the key to his room which ends up just being a prank at first.

But then you find a key to the secret workshop/basement hidden behind his house.

Once you enter the workshop, you’ll find some blueprints written in symbols you can’t read (wing dings?) and a curtain covering a machine that doesn’t seem to be working, among other things.

Toby Fox tweeted a message regarding this machine a few days after Undertale’s release around the time people were figuring out FUN values and the secrets surrounding Sans and Gaster.

“You’ve all seen the happiest outcome. Neither of them could fix the machine, no matter how hard they tried. No one can.”

This tweet seems to imply that if the machine could be fixed that Undertale could have a happier outcome.

And this my friends, is the gateway to the nature of Deltarune.

Deltarune, according to Toby Fox, is a game for players that have completed Undertale. But what does it mean to complete Undertale, and I mean, TRULY complete it? Toby often expressed that he wasn’t happy with how people told others how to play the game, that it is best played completely blind. Having played Undertale blind myself, and having watched others do the same, the natural way the game is meant to progress is that first players will experience the Neutral Ending, followed by the Pacifist Ending, and Finally the Genocide ending. This is because the game cruelly plays against your expectations of how an RPG should work and this almost guarantees that you will kill at least one monster your first play through. As if the fact that the fight button is always the default position in battle isn’t enough, in the early parts of the game you are told that you may need to weaken a monster before you can spare them. This naturally brings to mind the systems of Pokémon, where you have the best chance to catch a Pokémon if it’s at low health. Well, if you try this during the Toriel fight, as most do, you’ll find that as soon as you get close to critical health, you’ll instantly kill her.

Poor goat mama..

Difficulty-wise, the neutral route is the most easy, because you can level up a little and gain more HP. The Pacifist route is a bit harder because your HP is lower, but with the experience you gain from the previous route, it should prove no problem. Finally the Genocide route is the most difficult because it takes a concerted effort that implies knowledge of the previous routes to kill every single monster.

So an ideal Deltarune player has knowledge of all three main routes of Undertale, and may have experienced or heard of Gaster.

Is this player you? If so, ask yourself, what would a “happier outcome” look like to you? And be honest. Many fans in the Undertale community have already answered this question in the form of fanworks. Some of the most common elements among them are as follows:



1) Frisk and all the monsters are free from the Underground and living on the surface with humans.

2) Asriel is revived.

3) Gaster is revived.

4 )Chara is revived.

The revival of Asriel, Chara, and Gaster are the undisputed holy grails in terms of happiest endings that the UT community dreams of and creates endless fan works to explore the possibilities. Toby knows this well.

Using a speech pattern attributed to Gaster, Toby teased the release of Deltarune Chapter 1

“I LOOK FORWARD TO CREATING A NEW FUTURE WITH YOU.” stands out quite a bit to me as the prospect of a “happier outcome” is already tied to Gaster and Sans, now a “new future” is connected.

And when Deltarune released, and fans had a chance to play it, they found:

1) All the monsters are free and living on the surface.

2) Asriel is alive and well and living his best life.

3) A voice with the same speech pattern as Gaster (based on Japanese text) brought you to this world and attempted to give your own vessel before…

4)…a voice with the same speech pattern as Chara (also based on Japanese text) discarded it.

Right off the bat Toby seems to have given fans what they wanted, a perfect future ending. But as you continue to play, you begin to realize that this may not be the world you dreamed of.

First, while all the monsters are living on the surface, they aren’t the same people from Undertale, for example: Undyne has never met Alphys, and the amalgamates that went to live with their families at the end of Undertale are deceased in this world. And while Asriel is alive, it’s not THE Asriel we were so determined to save in Undertale.

Gaster’s presence permeates Deltarune so thoroughly it would take awhile to point out every example, but it seems clear that he’s present in some form.

And Chara? You only need to see the ending cutscene of chapter 1 to know that they are around in a similar fashion as when they possess Frisk in the True Pacifist after a Genocide ending.

But their presence is also present in subtle ways. For example, if you attempt to play the piano in the hospital in Hometown and then speak to the receptionist, she comments that Kris’ playing isn’t the same as usual (Likely due to our control), but it seems that Chara may be good at piano. Interestingly, on the cover artwork for the official Undertale Piano Collection 2 book, Frisk can be seen holding a knife playing a key on a piano in the judgement hall filled with bones.

So for better or worse, what appears to be the original Chara and Gaster from Undertale are present in Deltarune, in some meta form or another. And maybe that’s the key: “Meta-characters”. After all, you yourself as a player are a “Meta-character”. You can ask the inhabitants of this new world questions that only someone with knowledge of a True Pacifist route would have, such as being able to ask Undyne about Alphys. Asking her this only makes sense if you yourself completed a True Pacifist route before playing Deltarune.

Ralsei, the lonely prince.

Toby being the trickster dog he is, he didn’t just give us 1 Asriel and call it a day, no he gave us 2.

Ralsei is quite clearly meant to be a version of Asriel because not only do they have similar or identical dialogues, but he was also was meant to look more like him before Toby decided to give him his Black Mage look.

There are even strong parallels obviously meant to create an emotional response and connect Ralsei to the feelings people had for Asriel in Undertale by giving the players the option to hug him.

Ralsei is quite the mystery on his own. And while he’s most certainly sweet and lovable, there’s undeniably some disconcerting things about him such as:

-Why does he know Kris and Susie’s names?

-Who did he learn the prophecy from? “Foretold by time and space” isn’t a good answer (or is it?).

-What did he say to Kris when the player SOUL wasn’t present in the prison?

-When he’s KO’d in battle, what does he become? Apparently he can still eat to regain HP when in this shrunken form.

Ralsei seemed to be under the impression that violence wasn’t needed in this world, but upon nearly being defeated by the King after mistakenly healing him, Ralsei says “This isn’t a world where kindness always wins, is it?”

The way he says this seems to imply he knows of other worlds and that they have different rules. Perhaps he comes from a world where someone being kind to everyone they met had great results?

There are definitely things that Ralsei is not telling us, whether this means he’s up to no good will remain to be seen, however, I would like to take this opportunity to make a prediction based on the previous understanding that the original Chara and Gaster are present in this new world in meta forms, and assert that Undertale Asriel, the final piece of the perfect ending puzzle is present in Deltarune in his own meta-character form of Ralsei. Perhaps the form he shrinks into when KO’d is one we know well...

There is that unused Flowey face...

Add glasses and a hat and...

but that’s just a game theory!

And I can't help but wonder about the dark heart on Ralsei's chest and this merchandise in the Deltarune section of fangamer that specifically features a quote from Undertale about the prophecy of Delta Rune (that turns out to be about Asriel in the TP ending, and Chara in the Genocide ending) "There is a prophecy. The Angel... The One Who Has Seen The Surface... They will return. And the underground will go empty."

It's also the Deltarune game logo

Because the merchandise is called Darkheart, it made me immediately think of the dark heart on Ralsei's chest, and having an Undertale quote about Asriel/Chara makes it all the more mysterious...

Regardless, in just the first chapter of Deltarune, the elements of the “happier outcome” connected to Sans’ machine are present. But how do they all connect? Well, let’s look at the other characters in Deltarune, starting with:

Lancer

Oh Baby Santa Claus, how we love you so. It’s hard to overlook how similar Lancer is to Sans. They’re both hilarious in their own way, both ride bikes, have similar color-schemes, both have a love for tomato-based products, and both have some scientific/engineering affinity (Sans and his workshop, Lancer and his “Lancer Industries”).

But that’s not all, the door to Sans’ room is identical to the warp doors found in the Dark World that Lancer hails from, and Sans’ warp ability also makes the same sound effect as these doors as well.

Lancer is a member of the FUN gang (remember the FUN value?), that, as far as we know currently, has 3 other members besides himself: Kris, Ralsei, and Susie (with the possibility of Noelle and others in the future).

Speaking of Susie, her name (or a version of it) popped up in Undertale prior to Deltarune’s release when the game was released on the Switch. By speaking to the Gaster Follower “Clamgirl”, you can learn of a girl named “Suzy”, that you will meet her soon, and that ���in life’s grand scheme, she might be why you came here in the first place...”

Upon receiving this dialogue, checking the drawers in Sans workshop will reveal a card with a drawing of 3 people smiling and the words “don’t forget”.

“Don’t Forget” is the vocal theme of Deltarune sung by Laura Shigihara, and the melody from the ending verse,“Don’t forget, I’m with you in the dark.”, is leitmotifed throughout the entire Deltarune chapter 1 OST. The connections between Sans, the FUN gang, Gaster, and by extension Undertale and Deltarune are quite apparent. Perhaps the actions of the FUN gang in the Deltarune world will have an affect on the FUN value in Undertale.

Based on all the evidence we have now, I am going to make a bold prediction:

Lancer is literally a younger Sans.

That’s right, Toby Fox made Baby Sans before Disney and Sega made Baby Yoda and Baby Sonic.

Deltarune’s Dark World is the past from the perspective of Sans and Gaster (or a recreation of it). How Lancer becomes Sans will likely be a very large part of Deltarune’s narrative, and once he becomes Sans, he will exist as a separate meta entity that can traverse different worlds, even if versions of himself already exist in some form there (similar to Ralsei and Asriel).

We’ve seen that if characters are exposed to elements that make it clear they live in a video game world, whether this be Determination for humans and Flowey, a time-space accident for Gaster, or a strange man whispering to Jevil, these characters become something wholly different, more powerful, and begin to become more similar to players with the ability to SAVE, RESET, or use abilities that seem beyond the scope of the game (e.g. Photoshop Flowey, Jevil’s ability to speak, etc). Undertale and Deltarune are video games about video games.

So if it is to be believed that Gaster is Sans’ father, and that Lancer is a younger Sans, then it stands to logical reason that whoever Lancer’s father is, that they must be Gaster.

No, not the King, there is another. A “Lesser-dad”.

Yes, Rouxls Kaard.

“GOD DAMNIT”

Rouxls Kaard, or “Rules Card”, or if you rearrange his name “A Dark Soul Rx”, wait, Rx as in prescription? As in a doctor? Dark Soul as in Mr. Darkness Gaster himself? Too much of a stretch? Maybe. Although you can’t deny they have similar appearances.

If Rouxls Kaard is Gaster, and therefore the father of Sans and Papyrus, then he’s undeniably similar to one of his sons. Rouxls Kaard seems to be quite passionate about puzzles, (despite not having a natural predilection to them). I could see Papyrus gaining an affinity for puzzles by being raised by such an individual, they both have quite flamboyant personalities. And let’s not forget that there are also hints that Rouxls Kaard may be inclined to creating scientific devices such as the “Control Crowne” he uses to control K.Round.

Hmm, controlling other people… sounds familiar to what we the player are doing to Kris… and who was it that was initially going to give us control of a vessel before we lost said control to Chara’s intervention? Control seems to play a big part in Deltarune doesn’t it?

Also, isn’t his manner of speech is reminiscent of a silly ye olde knight. Wait, wasn’t there a Knight causing trouble in the Dark World? Hm.

So something is going to turn Lancer and Rouxls Kaard into Sans and Gaster, respectively.

Now remember the CORE that Gaster built? This one?

It turns geothermal energy into magical electricity via an unknown means with one of the byproducts being ozone, which is corrosive and could potentially make someone very melty. This is what it looks like on the inside.

Lots of blues of varying hues with white accents. Kinda reminds me of Rouxls Kaard and the other “card” people’s color schemes.

What a coincidence! Oh and apparently the layout of the CORE can be re-arranged or something:

"I work at the CORE. The inside is a maze made of swappable parts... That means we can shuffle the layout at will." - Hotland NPC

Almost sounds like a sliding puzzle…

Finally, Gaster is referred to as “The man who speaks in hands”, likely due to his Wing Dings font that contains a lot of hand symbols, however, it isn’t a stretch to also apply that epithet to Rouxls Kaard, after all, the Rules Card speaks in hands as well. Hands of cards.

Susie

Can’t forget Susie. Unfortunately, there’s not much we can say about how her role in all this will play yet. If we are to believe that the “Suzy” that Clamgirl references is Susie, then it’s clear that she’ll be key, perhaps as a catalyst for all the big changes some characters will need to undergo...

I will say that I think it’s interesting that toby specifically has a character in Hometown comment that humans are made of blood (and implying the monsters are not),

and Susie says:

“Everybody bleeds, right?”

From our understanding of monsters in Undertale, monsters don’t bleed, they turn to dust. But, maybe Darkners can bleed. If we believe Sans is a Darkner, it may explain this:

It could be ketchup. It could be a Darkner thing. Lancer does mention blood casually. But if only humans and Darkners bleed, then why would a monster like Susie say “everybody bleeds”?

So what is Deltarune you ask? I think it’s:

1) A story about Sans, Papyrus, and Gaster’s past and future. We get to experience their past in the Dark World, and speak with their future selves in the Light World. But these future versions of Sans and Papyrus may not be as far into the future as the Sans and Papyrus we meet in Undertale. Remember, Sans had an Ice-E’s crossword in Undertale? Ice-E’s-P’E’zza is a restaurant in Hometown. Papyrus may also be younger than he was in Undertale because Sans, an adult who runs a grocery store, thinks a teen like Kris should hang with his little brother, and it would be “weird” if he were there with them.

2) A story about post-Undertale Asriel, Chara, and Gaster. Asriel/Flowey maintains his new form as Ralsei thanks to the power of the Dark Fountain. He now lives in what is/was Sans’ childhood home. Whether he knows this or remembers the events of Undertale is unknown, but it is my belief that he holds a deep connection to the Asriel we all wished to save. Chara resides within Kris in a similar manner as they did at the ending of a UT True Pacifist Ending after surrendering the red SOUL to them in a Genocide ending. Does this mean that Kris’s body or “vessel” is Frisk? This seems to be heavily implied by Kris’ outfit taking on the same color scheme as Frisk’s UT shirt while in the Dark World.

3) A coming of age story for a bunch of teens. Kris, Susie, Ralsei, Noelle, Lancer, and all the friends that may join on their adventures are still people regardless of what grand meta narrative is at play involving the nature of their reality. They still need to go to school, fall in love, and worry about growing up and going to university. Noelle will undoubtedly play a large role with Toby’s tease of her as “Lost Girl”, and considering how attached most of the community has already gotten to these characters, it hurts my heart to think about what may befall them as they try their best to live their lives. Does this mean Deltarune’s world is doomed? I hope not... but those save file screens sure are creepypasta...

“IT WAS AS IF IT WAS NEVER THERE AT ALL.”

4) A story about video games and the control (or lack thereof) we have over them. It’s quite clear that we, the player controlling the red soul, is able to influence this new world based on knowledge from Undertale that should have no barring. For example, we can name “Onionsan” who has forgot their own name. One of the options is “Onion”, but why? Is it because we know their name is Onionsan in Undertale? How do we even know if that is actually what this version of them is really named?

Deltarune is so close to the perfect Undertale ending we wanted, but it’s just a little bit wrong. Would it hurt to force Undyne and Alphys to meet and fall in love? To get Toriel and Asgore back together? To make Bratty and Catty friends? If you were given the option in game to do it, would you do it? What if it made their lives worse…? I believe that the fact we are able to influence inhabitants of Deltarune with our Undertale knowledge may have some unforeseen consequences, and perhaps, be what begins this whole situation in the first place. (Paradoxes are the best time travel stories!)

Toby Fox said that Deltarune was the game he originally wanted to make, but whether it was too ambitious or time consuming, his idea evolved into Undertale. Now that he’s creating the game he always wanted to, I believe that he will connect everything we know about them together and resolve the mysteries, after all, Gaster has been waiting for this chance.

And maybe, with a little luck and determination, we can create a new future with a happier outcome. If I’ve learned anything from Undertale, it’s that you must hold on to your hopes and dreams, because dreams are the goal of “Determination.”

[bbq-hawks-wings]

Series Review Pt. 1/3

So, this isn’t even a YouTube video where you have the advantage of hearing a voice over a recording with snappy editing to lighten the mood or convey feeling; but believe me that there was a lot of earnest sincerity put into the review this time around.

But before I put the rest of it under the cut, there are some corrections/clarifications I want to put down about my last review that I believe we're significant shortcomings on my part. 

My first, and probably most MAJOR goof was my choice of words in trying to describe the scene with Hawks and Twice at the end of 263 - “ he clearly hasn’t killed Twice yet, and we don’t know why, but if he has to he’s prepared to do so without hesitation or remorse.”

BIG OOF. I hadn’t even been looking much at others’ opinions and the common-enough impression that Hawks doesn’t care about Twice at all/is incapable of empathy/ONLY concerned with his mission from the Commission. When I looked back at my own review, though I didn’t have any indication anyone believed I was one of those people (“without remorse” being the problematic phrase in question), I could easily see how others could get the impression and decided to wait until the next review to do a better job instead of just saying I would. My views on that particular scene will be clear later on, but at least that’s out of the way in case that was keeping people from reading this in the first place.

Second, I failed to arrange my observation points in a more ideal order. If anything, the fact that we were seeing that last page from Twice’s perspective should have been the first point. This mistake made it sound like a neutral assessment of the situation instead of an observation through the context of Jin's feelings. This ended up confusing even myself, as someone who usually writes these reviews solo, into forgetting to factor in that Twice's perspective may be warping the perception of Hawks guarding him into one of intent to kill while forgetting that the Hero Code forbids killing others unless it's truly a necessary last resort. For some reason, Sad Man's Parade and Twice's two-double limit also slipped my mind which brings me to the last point.

Third, I rushed things. When I rush, I make mistakes, sometimes pretty sloppy ones. It has been a ROUGH couple of weeks to be a Hawks or villain stan, even more so if you’re both, so for some reason I felt like I needed to get my thoughts out there quickly. I don’t have any kind of real incentive to do so other than a faster response - I don’t make any money off this, don’t have any relevance algorithm to feed as if I was on YouTube or Twitter, and I’m not the only half-decently known blog to hold these opinions so I don’t know what I was thinking. That’s my problem, but that doesn’t mean I have to make it anyone else’s.

For complete transparency, I’ve been reading and re-reading through the entire series canon again, starting with Hawks’ manga debut, and reviewing the entire series’ events and in-universe history, and have been taking literal whole pages of notes and drafts since Thursday the 12th. I’m glad I did because it brought to mind things that often get left out of pockets of fandom discussion who hyper-focus on their circles of interest while forgetting that each individual section is meant to work with the whole.

That’s what we’ll be working with today, and additional thanks goes to  @baezetsu and @dorito9708 for volunteering as proofreaders and editors to make this more focused and concise. If you’re interested please keep reading. A fair warning, this is what we in the professional field call a “long-ass post, no seriously guys grab a drink and a snack we’re gonna be here a while.” It's actually so long I have to split it up into parts because Tumblr Mobile is stupid and doesn't like making the "read more" function available to the mobile version.

So here we go, people, let’s try this again one last time…

Where we’re at in Chapter 264 (or at least, you know, ignoring literally everyone in the series that isn’t these two) is Twice and Hawks’ confrontation in the study room; but let’s put a pin in that for now and come back.

The biggest piece of information to keep in mind is that even though both these characters are currently front-and-center and have major plot and symbolic value in the series, they are still not the main characters. Their conflict is also not the central conflict. Let’s zoom out to the big picture and see what happens when we put everything together at the end.

The whole inciting incident of the series is when humanity began to display superhuman abilities in a few random individuals. These abilities are neither inherently good or bad - they are constantly intended as neutral with the potential being dependent on the user. Eventually these abilities began to be collectively termed as “quirks” - literally just a single facet of each person’s unique identity. From a social commentary standpoint, quirks have been used as a narrative stand-in for the unique situational circumstances or combinations of circumstances individuals may find themselves with that are either mostly or completely outside of their control like aptitude, physical ability, race/appearance, mental state, and inherited societal station. While more of these examples have been explicitly stated and inserted into the story later on, quirks still serve as the main catalyst and lens by which these topics are discussed.

Because of the initially new and unfamiliar nature of these abilities, people who possessed them faced descrimination and persecution despite having no say in whether or not they had them; and some who did possess these abilities began abusing their power. Taking advantage of this, a man calling himself One-for-All took unwanted quirks from people and redistributed them claiming to want to help others and bring about peace but merely wished to amass power and a following for his own gain. Morally upright individuals eventually rose to the occasion and placed themselves between innocent bystanders and evildoers, earning no official reward or compensation for their work, though eventually they became so effective that they became recognized and endorsed if they went through proper governmental training and channels. These endorsed specialty crime fighters came to be dubbed “heroes.”

All-For-One had risen to prominence by this point and his loyal following actively supported him in his now blatant criminal empire despite the morally reprehensible actions he committed which incessantly terrorized innocent bystanders - earning him the title Symbol of Evil or Symbol of Fear. Eventually a hero named All Might rose up to specifically deal with All-For-One’s reign of terror, having worked his way up from obscurity taking down criminals and saving civilians in unprecedented numbers, determined to create a world where everyone could feel safe in the face of danger. Though only succeeding in beating AFO into hiding All Might ushered in a new era of safety and prosperity earning him the title Symbol of Peace.

Therein lies the central message - “It’s not the situation you’re given that determines your worth or potential but what you choose to do with it” - and the main conflict is - “I want to use what I’ve been given for my own benefit" vs "I want to use what I’ve been given for others.” Deku and Shiguraki are merely the next generation iteration of this conflict distilled down to their simplest essence. Deku's desire is to save anyone who needs help the moment he realizes they need it. Shiguraki wants to remove people's sense of security regardless of their character or situation. 

This conflict is initially framed as simple - a clear black and white/good and bad dynamic that’s easy to see from a distance; but as characters and groups developed over time it’s become more and more difficult to tell the two sides apart. It was not a coincidence that immediately after introducing the clear-as-day bad guys to the series we were presented with the idea that who we perceived to be “good guys” could be bad people doing good things or that people could do good things for the wrong reasons when we were presented with the personal conflicts that Bakugo, Shinsou, and Todoroki all faced at the Sports Festival that were either their internal struggles with the way the were perceived by others or were their personal struggles with the way they perceived themselves. Immediately after that, we were introduced to Stain's criticism of modern heroes and shown who would come to be the core members of the League of Villains.

At the current events in the series we’ve waded through so many shades of grey we’re expected to determine who’s a “hero” and “villain” not by what they say but what they do, how they do it, and why they do it. The individual members of the League of Villains touch on various ways a person might be driven to a life dedicated either to the pursuit of personal satisfaction with no concern to others or to the active pursuit of destroying others, and generally the villains are some of the most morally gray characters we have in the series, though not all of them - the two most notable morally gray “good guys” are Hawks and Endeavor.

There’s one last thing to note about how the series chooses to distinguish morally gray characters as “good” and “bad,” and that ultimately boils down to the choices they make with the hand they are dealt - that being to help or to harm others. This is not quite the same thing as a “hero” and a “villian” (I know, as if it wasn’t confusing enough), but the series has now gone to great lengths to make a clear distinction between the ideals of heroism and the institution of heroism.

Looking at the difference in institutions and ideals as the series presents them we get a better picture of the actual core issues the series seeks to address. The institution of heroism is a utilitarian approach to maintaining a sense of order and safety, and it does so by incentivising people to resolve as many public altercations as possible in exchange for wealth and fame. Criminals are those who break the law regardless of the motivation for the crime or its degree of impact. The institution does not take into account factors that may drive someone to commit a crime nor is it concerned with the core motivations of those enforcing the sense of order.

On the opposite hand, the ideal of heroism offers no reward, no recognition, may require some amount of suffering on the part of the hero, and never guarantees that the victim in question will be saved. Conversely, villainy/evil is any action taken for one's own gain with zero regard to the impact on others and/or is any action committed with malicious intent. These definitions are about moral obligation and human to human connection.

While having a strong correlation (helping others because it's right usually helps the majority in the long run, and doing harm is often ultimately bad for the majority) these two schools of thought are able to function independently of each other. In other words, a criminal can be a good person fallen on hard times (like stealing food to feed their family, but only as much as they need from someone who won’t notice it missing) while a “professional hero” can be an evil person doing good things for the wrong reasons (like obsessing over gaining wealth and popularity with no mind to collateral damage they may cause). Most characters are categorized and even described in-universe as morally aligning with the institution they associate with; but several have been explicitly noted as exceptions to the rule such as Gentle Criminal and La Brava, Endeavor, and Twice. 

Are we properly confused yet? Great, because there’s one more layer to consider! What do we make of someone who is trying to do a good thing (like saving as many people as possible from a known threat) but to do so has to make a choice that might leave a few people in the fire? Which outcome do we use to decide if this is a good person or a bad one? Do we judge based on intent or on the outcome?

Now we zoom back in to Hawks and Twice, but we’ll pick that up in Part Two.

Part Three

[themackenzies]

Thoughts on Outlander 5.05 - ‘Perpetual Adoration’

Time is a lot of the things people say that God is. There’s the always preexisting, and having no end. There’s the notion of being all powerful—because nothing can stand against time, can it? Not mountains, not armies. And time is, of course, all-healing. Give anything enough time, and everything is taken care of: all pain encompassed, all hardship erased, all loss subsumed. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Remember, man, that thou art dust; and unto dust thou shalt return. And if Time is anything akin to God, I suppose that Memory must be the Devil. — Prologue, A Breath of Snow and Ashes

Wow, I loved this episode, and for the first time this season I’m excited to sit down and write about Outlander.  The 1960′s flashbacks, Roger and Bree hashing things out, adorable Adso (I am a dog person, but geez that’s a cute kitten)...this episode felt nostalgic, and good, and right.  Material from the books was adapted really well and didn’t feel shoehorned in.  To be honest, after last week’s ‘The Company We Keep’, I was considering abandoning the show because I was so disappointed by the writing and characterization of Roger.  But, after Episode 5?  I’m excited to see the rest of the season!

There’s a lot to unpack from this episode, so I won’t touch on everything, or this will get too long, but here are my thoughts.

Since the title card for this episode is taken from the flashbacks, I’ll start my episode review by talking about Claire, Joe, and Bree in the 1960′s.  Claire’s voice over of the prologue from A Breath of Snow and Ashes gave me goosebumps, as did Bree’s line, “Man, I guess you never really know what’s coming, do you?”

It’s so great seeing Joe again, even though it makes me sad that we never got to see Roger or adult Bree interact with him on the show.  I smiled at the reference to the romance novel The Impetuous Pirate from Voyager.

The lounge wasn’t empty. Joseph Abernathy sat in one of the rump-sprung stuffed chairs, apparently absorbed in a copy of U.S. News & World Report. He looked up as I entered, and nodded briefly to me before returning to his reading. The lounge was equipped with stacks of magazines— salvaged from the waiting rooms— and a number of tattered paperbacks, abandoned by departing patients. Seeking distraction, I thumbed past a six-month-old copy of Studies in Gastroenterology, a ragged copy of Time magazine, and a neat stack of Watchtower tracts. Finally picking up one of the books, I sat down with it. It had no cover, but the title page read The Impetuous Pirate. “A sensuous, compelling love story, boundless as the Spanish Main!” said the line beneath the title. The Spanish Main, eh? If escape was what I wanted, I couldn’t do much better, I thought, and opened the book at random. — Chapter 18, Voyager

The 60′s costumes, sets, and hair were on point.  Man, I really miss the 60′s-70′s stuff (and wish there had been more of Roger and Bree in that time in Season 4 - flashes back and forth like they did with Claire and Jamie in Season 3 would have been awesome).  I also liked how the flashbacks connected with the 1700′s story lines.  It wasn’t until I rewatched that I even really listened to and absorbed Claire’s voice over throughout the episode about God and the spiderweb:

“I wonder, is time God’s eternal web, silk strands stretching through time, the mildest touch setting off vibrations that echo through the eons? ... Is God the spider, embracing us through our death and resurrection, or is he simply the spinner of the web, watching as the silk shimmers and vibrates through the cosmos, awakening the real spiders, the ones lurking deep within the recesses of our own natures? ... God the infinite, God the merciful, God the eternal.  Someday, I will stand before God and I will receive answers to all my questions about everything in his universe, and I do have many questions.  But I won’t ask about the nature of time. I’ve lived it.”

There was something about the spiderweb metaphor that sounded really familiar, but I couldn’t recall if it was taken from any of the books or not.  So, I did a search for “spiderweb” in The Fiery Cross, and found a couple of passages that I’m still mulling over.  There’s this bit from Chapter 37:

“Brianna. What do you want? Do you want Stephen Bonnet dead?” She glanced at me, then away, looking out the window while she patted Jemmy’s back. She didn’t blink. Finally, her eyes closed briefly, then opened to meet mine. “I can’t,” she said, low-voiced. “I’m afraid if I ever let that thought in my mind … I’d never be able to think about anything else, I’d want it so much. And I will be damned if I’ll let … him … ruin my life that way.” Jemmy gave a resounding belch, and spit up a little milk. Bree had an old linen towel across her shoulder, and deftly wiped his chin with it. Calmer now, he had lost his look of vexed incomprehension, and was concentrating intently on something over his mother’s shoulder. Following the direction of his clear blue gaze, I saw the shadow of a spiderweb, high up in the corner of the window. A gust of wind shook the window frame, and a tiny spot moved in the center of the web, very slightly. “Yeah,” Brianna said, very softly. “I do want him dead. But I want Da and Roger alive, more.”

And also this bit from Chapter 73:

She had begun to realize, listening to the talk in the Sherstons’ parlor over the last few weeks, that the Colony was a vast spiderweb. There were innumerable strands of commerce along which a few large spiders—and a number of smaller ones—made their delicate way, always listening for the faint hum of distress made by a fly that had blundered in, always testing for a thinning strand, a broken link. The smaller entities glided warily along the margins of the web, with an eye out always for the movements of the bigger ones—for spiders were cannibals—and so, she thought, were ambitious men. Her father’s position was prominent—but by no means so secure as to resist the undermining effects of gossip and suspicion. She and Roger had talked about it before, privately, speculating; the fracture-lines were already there, plain enough to someone who knew what was coming; the strains and tensions that would deepen into sudden chasm—one deep enough to sunder the colonies from England. Let the strain grow too great, too quickly, let the strands between Fraser’s Ridge and the rest of the Colony fray too far … and they might snap, wrapping sticky ends in a thick cocoon round her family and leaving them suspended by a thread—alone, and prey to those who would suck their blood.  

Back on Fraser’s Ridge...

That pillow talk scene between Roger and Bree is the best romantic chemistry I’ve seen between them this season (yes, even better than their wedding).  Sophie and Richard acted their scenes, most of which were adapted from Chapter 6 of The Fiery Cross, extremely well.

She was an only child, as he was; she knew the yearning for connection and closeness—but hers had been gratified. She had had not one loving father but two. A mother who had loved her beyond the bounds of space and time. The Murrays of Lallybroch, that unexpected gift of family. And most of all, her son, her flesh, her blood, a small and trusting weight that anchored her firmly to the universe. But Roger was an orphan, alone in the world for such a long time. His parents gone before he knew them, his old uncle dead—he had no one to claim him, no one to love him for the sake only of his flesh and bone—no one save her. Little wonder if he hungered for the certainty she held in her arms when she nursed her child.

My one complaint is that I wish Bree hadn’t stayed silent after Roger asked, about Jemmy’s paternity, "In your heart, what do you truly believe?”  That discussion was very heartbreaking.

Thankfully, Roger returns to Bree in the morning, apologetic, after his heart to heart with Claire.  

“Oh I wish I had a bit of a husband’s intuition.”  “You haven’t been married very long. Intuition comes with listening and time.”  “I have time in spades.” [...] “Roger, don’t be careless with the time you have together.”

Perhaps Roger is remembering what he told Jocasta in Episode 1: “I may not have any property or money, but I have time.  And I will give it all to Brianna and Jeremiah.”  

Everything comes full circle at the end of the episode when Jamie returns home, and Claire shares what’s on her mind:

“Do you know what I finally realized after all these years? Just how much I owe him. His death had a profound effect on me, so much so that I took a leave of absence from work, and went to London with Brianna, and that was where I learned of Reverend Wakefield’s passing.  Had we not attended that funeral, we would never have crossed paths with Roger or...or found you.”  

A few final, stray thoughts:

I know the priest’s line, “No one’s lost who’s not forgotten” is about Claire remembering Jamie...but, Stephen Bonnet haunting Brianna is what popped into my mind.  Brianna has forgiven Bonnet, but hasn’t forgotten him.

Lizzie being present during Kezzie’s surgery and blushing/smiling when he had to drop his britches was funny and cute.  They’re clearly laying groundwork for Season 6 (or maybe Season 5?).

I love the sunshine and verdant trees in this episode.  It was pretty and refreshing.

Even though I loved Roger in this episode, I haven’t forgotten how poorly he was written in the first 4 episodes and in ‘The Company We Keep’ in particular.  I’ll leave that rant for another post, though.

I’m still puzzled by Roger and (maybe?) Bree wanting to back through the stones.  On thelitforum.com, Diana said something about the writers, in the first episode, establishing that Bree promised Roger they would go back.  But, if Bree made a promise like that, we haven’t heard about it on screen.  I don’t understand why that would be cut, because it’s important context to have.

I don’t really have anything to say about Jamie in this episode.  I’m bored by the Regulator story line, and am anxious for us to get to Alamance, so all of that can finally be put to bed.  

Based on the preview for Episode 6...it looks like Jamie and Claire will be going to Jocasta’s wedding by themselves, while Roger and Bree stay on the Ridge.  Interesting.

Roger’s scruff was perfect.  Crossing my fingers he stops shaving for the remainder of the season.

“Women will do anything for trinkets, coins, jewels. Anything at all.  They’re yours for a pretty penny, or a diamond, or a ring.”  “My lass is more concerned with words and deeds.”  Bonnet makes me want to vomit, but I loved Roger’s response about pragmatic Bree.

I love how naturally God and religion are being woven into this season.  It makes me wish the show runners had the guts to do it in earlier seasons.

[yasbxxgie]

N.W.A. was formed back between 1986 and 1987 with the original lineup consisting of Dr. Dre, Eazy-E & Arabian Prince. A 17 year old Ice Cube joined after his old groups Stereo Crew and C.I.A (Criminals In Action) with Kid Disaster (K-Dee) and Sir Jinx who Dr. Dre produced for both dissolved. Shortly afterward, MC Ren and DJ Yella entered the fold and in November 1987 Macola Records released and distributed N.W.A’s debut project on their independent label funded by local hood Eazy-E called Ruthless Records. At the time, Ice Cube was 18 years old and responsible for writing the songs that put the group on the map both locally and nationally, Eazy-E’s “Boyz-N-The-Hood” & “8 Ball” plus N.W.A.’s “Dopeman”.

In August 1988, N.W.A. who were less than satisfied with Macola’s handling of their material switched to Priority Records as a national distributor. They re-released “N.W.A. & The Posse” (not “Straight Outta Compton”) which immediately began moving units and entered the Billboard charts. They also released a new single “Gangsta, Gangsta” on Ruthless/Priority that garnered them even more attention and spread nationwide like wildfire. The song was once again, penned by Ice Cube. It was soon followed by one of the most influential songs in Rap history, “Fuck The Police”.

The next step was to release Eazy-E’s debut LP “Eazy-Duz-It” which was mostly written by MC Ren and The D.O.C. formerly of Fila Fresh Crew but featured contributions from Ice Cube on the aforementioned “Boyz-N-The-Hood”, “No More ?’s” and the spoken word album closer “Eazy-Chapter 8 Verse 10”. It was released in September 1988 and soon joined the re-released “N.W.A. & The Posse” on both the Top Black Albums and Billboard 200 charts, climbing them both at an impressive rate.

In February 1989, N.W.A.’s “Straight Outta Compton” was unleashed on the masses, its meteoric rise up the charts was powered by the Ice Cube penned pre-release singles “Gangsta, Gangsta” & “Fuck The Police” in addition to the single “Express Yourself” that got them some radio play with a video that landed on BET’s “Rap City” and MTV’s “Yo! MTV Raps”. “Express Yourself” featured Dr. Dre kicking rhymes written by Ice Cube and the single and video exposed N.W.A to a much wider audience and expanded their reach even further. Following the sales success of both albums, N.W.A. went on their Straight Outta Compton Tour then picked up some other dates later on but as the tours progressed Ice Cube kept close tabs on his publishing and royalties statements.

By Fall 1989, Ice Cube became frustrated with his situation at Ruthless Records and felt he wasn’t receiving his proper compensation for contributing to the empire Ruthless was becoming. By then, J.J. Fad was Gold, Eazy-E had gone Platinum, N.W.A. was certified Platinum and The D.O.C. had just received his Gold plaque. Cube noted that neither Priority nor Ruthless was spending an exorbitant amount of money on marketing or promotions, they typically sold via word of mouth thanks to the coverage they got in mainstream press as the poster children for “Gangsta Rap”, derived from the N.W.A. single “Gangsta, Gangsta” Cube made significant contributions to.

Ice Cube was 20 years old at the time, constantly butting heads with Jerry Heller and Eazy-E over his splits, points and his royalties from N.W.A’s back catalog in addition to Eazy-E’s. Rather than sign another contract with Ruthless that would no doubt result in Cube continuing being under compensated for his role in the group as well as other albums on the label, he instead opted to go solo. By December 1989, Ice Cube leveraged his value to Priority into a solo deal by telling them Def Jam was interested in signing him.

This resulted in Ruthless Records blocking Dr. Dre from producing Ice Cube’s upcoming debut on Priority Records so he contacted several people in New York in search of producers, among them being The Bomb Squad which he had preliminary talks with. Ice Cube traveled to New York in January 1990 with Sir Jinx heading for the Def Jam offices to meet with Sam Sever, one of the main producers of one of his favorite albums of 1989, 3rd Bass’ “The Cactus Album”.

Sam Sever never showed up for the meeting but by chance Ice Cube ran into Chuck D of Public Enemy who was in Def Jam’s offices handling some business. Ice Cube and Chuck D first became acquainted back in December 1988 when Public Enemy brought N.W.A. & Eazy-E along with them on the Bring The Noise Tour with Ice T, Stetsasonic & EPMD. Public Enemy was in the process of completing their album “Fear Of A Black Planet” and Chuck tells Cube he should come to Greene Street Studios tonight because they were going to record a song called “Burn, Hollywood, Burn” with Big Daddy Kane. Cube came through, recorded a short 4 bar verse and sounded at home over Bomb Squad production… the rest was history.

Ice Cube then spent time with Chuck D fleshing out what he wanted on the album in notebooks and Hank Shocklee of The Bomb Squad stressed that they wanted to make a concise body of work for him as opposed to a few tracks here and there. Next step involved Ice Cube and Sir Jinx spending a couple of weeks at Public Enemy’s pre-production studio and rehearsal space at 510 South Franklin Street in Hempstead, Long Island poring through a mountain of records.

After taking careful consideration of the many records at their disposal, Cube & Jinx selected Funk from Kool & The Gang, Commodores, Betty Davis, Steve Arrington, Funkadelic, Parliament, Sly & The Family Stone, Maceo & The Macks, Bar-Kays, The J.B.’s, Fred Wesley & The New J.B.’s and Zapp in addition to staple breaks from Bob James, Mountain, The Meters, The Turtles, ESG, Cerrone, Melvin Bliss, King Curtis, Lafayette Afro Rock Band, Kid Dynamite and Soul Searchers. Between Ice Cube, Sir Jinx, Hank & Keith Shocklee, Chuck D & Eric “Vietnam” Sadler we have all the ingredients necessary for a classic album.

After close to two full weeks of culling together sample material, additional loops, sounds and song ideas from a cassette tape Chuck sent Cube a month or so prior to him arriving in New York and having Eric “Vietnam” Sadler craft together a bunch of skeletons to work from they eventually moved from there to Greene Street Studios to begin the recording process. Ice Cube had notebooks full of rhymes, some originally intended for Eazy-E and future N.W.A. projects, the ideas he laid down with Chuck and now the beats (some of which were demos originally recorded by Son Of Bazerk and True Mathematics). All that was left was for the Bomb Squad’s mad scientists to put on their lab coats, safety goggles and gloves and try to make a timeless piece of art.

The album itself was created over a 4 week span by The Bomb Squad, Ice Cube & Sir Jinx. The Bomb Squad’s attentions were split between finishing “Fear Of A Black Planet”, putting finishing touches on Bell Biv DeVoe’s debut “Poison”, tour dates and working with other talent they were developing like Leaders Of The New School, Young Black Teenagers and Son Of Bazerk featuring No Self Control & The Band. It was rough going given the scheduling conflicts but eventually the team was able to finish the project. Everyone worked relatively quickly and the album was done, mixed and mastered by Howie Weinberg then was turned in by March 1990. Ice Cube wanted to deliver the album to Priority as soon as possible so it could beat the next N.W.A. project to market.

The album consists of 17 tracks, 3 of which are skits (“Better Off Dead”, “JD’s Gafflin’” & “The Drive-By”) and 3 more were short songs like “What They Hittin’ Foe?”, “I’m Only Out For One Thang” & “Get Off My Dick & Tell Yo Bitch To Come Here”. “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted” had a few features on it, Chuck D on “Endangered Species (Tales From The Darkside)”, Flavor Flav on “I’m Only Out For One Thang” and Yo-Yo on “It’s A Man’s World”. Given Ice Cube’s track record for making misogynistic anthems, the first member from his crew to get a deal was Yo-Yo and his manager was a Black woman, Pat Charbonnet.

Yo-Yo’s verse on this album led to her getting signed to EastWest/Atlantic later on that year. The experience Sir Jinx & Ice Cube gained working on this album plus having The Lench Mob in tow gave them the foundation for Street Knowledge Music. Eventually it led to Ice Cube working with his own iteration of The Bomb Squad, The Boogie Men (DJ Pooh, Bobcat & Rashad) in concert with his road dawgs Sir Jinx & Chilly Chill.

Priority released a single from the upcoming album in April, “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted” b/w “Once Upon A Time In The Projects” but there was no video and although the single was selling it wasn’t receiving any radio airplay. On May 15th, 1990 Ice Cube’s Bomb Squad helmed debut LP “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted” finally hit store shelves. When it debuted on the Billboard charts it was #110 on the Top Pop Albums on June 2nd, 1990. The single “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted” was #2 on the Hot Rap Singles chart right behind Public Enemy’s “911 Is A Joke”.

To provide some context to the era, A Tribe Called Quest’s “People’s Instinctive Travels & The Paths Of Rhythm”, Public Enemy’s “Fear Of A Black Planet”, Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E.’s “New Funky Nation”, Audio Two’s “I Don’t Care: The Album”, Poor Righteous Teachers’ “Holy Intellect” & X-Clan’s “To The East, Blackwards” were all recent releases. By June 9th, 1990, “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted” entered the Top Black Albums at #47 and jumped all the way up to #62 on the Top Pop Albums as the single occupied the #1 spot on Hot Rap Singles.

On June 16th, 1990 it leaped all the way up to #19 Top Black Albums and #27 Top Pop Albums while “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted” b/w “Once Upon A Time In The Projects” remained the #1 Rap single for the 2nd week in a row. It occupied the top position on the Rap charts as #2 was Snap!’s “The Power”, #3 was Power Jam featuring Chill Rob G “The Power”, #4 was MC Hammer’s “U Can’t Touch This” and at #5 was Public Enemy’s “911 Is A Joke”. Ice Cube had just turned 21 and his first solo single was a #1 Rap hit in the age of MC Hammer & Pop/crossover Rap…

What makes this feat all the more impressive was Ice Cube’s single got little to no support at Black radio whereas all of the singles charting below it were. Nonetheless, Ice Cube’s single was still outselling all of the others while Priority was spending the bare minimum on their marketing campaign and promotional materials. The album was pretty much selling itself via word of mouth.

The subject matter on the album included some of the West Coast fare N.W.A. fans were used to from the same Ice Cube who made “A Bitch Iz A Bitch”. Songs like “The Nigga Ya Love To Hate”, “You Can’t Fade Me”, “Once Upon A Time In The Projects” & “A Gangsta’s Fairytale”. The Bomb Squad/Public Enemy influence was evident in cuts such as “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted”, “Turn Off The Radio”, “Endangered Species (Tales From The Darkside)”, “Rollin’ Wit The Lench Mob”, “Who’s The Mack?” and “The Bomb”. The way Ice Cube was able to blend elements of Gangsta Rap with Conscious Rap themes and Sir Jinx managed to combine his West Coast roots and East Coast influences to result in the incredible finished product was a revelation for many who thought Cube couldn’t do it on his own.

The fascinating thing about “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted” was how it was RIAA certified Gold on August 9th, 1990 with no video, no Black radio support and at the time not even a 2nd single released. One of the motivating factors behind the Bomb Squad knocking the album out of the park was when Ice Cube told Hank Shocklee and Eric “Vietnam” Sadler when he informed N.W.A. that he would seek out production from them if Dr. Dre wasn’t involved with his solo project they said he’d be lucky to even go Gold. This was odd considering “It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back” was Platinum at the time as was “The Great Adventures Of Slick Rick” which the Bomb Squad had also made significant contributions to.

Around the same time, N.W.A. released their EP “100 Miles And Runnin’” and a video for the title track on Ruthless/Priority containing several Ice Cube disses whereas Ice Cube made a conscious effort to not address his situation with N.W.A. or even mention them at all on his album. That same month, Priority decided to finally shoot a video for the follow up single, “Who’s The Mack?”.

The job of directing the clip went to Alex Winter and Tom Stern of Propaganda Films, it debuted on BET’s “Rap City” & “Yo! MTV Raps” in mid to late September 1990 and had entered the regular rotation of The Box on October 13th, 1990. Priority urged Ice Cube to release some follow up material which resulted in the “Kill At Will” EP released that November. The EP was self produced by Ice Cube, Sir Jinx & Chilly Chill and was supported by two videos, “Jackin’ For Beats” and “Dead Homiez”. It went Gold in under 3 months and “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted” eventually went Platinum. Far more important than the sales was the lasting influence of Ice Cube’s debut album and the accompanying EP…

What “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted” did was take the style of music Spoonie Gee created, Schoolly D pioneered, Ice T, KRS One (BDP), Just-Ice , Toddy Tee & Mixmaster Spade innovated and Ice Cube made style evolutions in then marry it with the sociopolitical themes Public Enemy addressed on wax but from the perspective of a young person from South Central Los Angeles. This album became a new benchmark for not only artists looking to rebrand themselves after going solo but for new artists making their first project. “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted” was revolutionary but gangsta before 2Pac was.

It set in motion a new timeline and created a lane where Paris, Geto Boys, The Coup, The Lench Mob & later on dead prez for a new generation of emcees and groups that could toe the line between gangsta and conscious post Boogie Down Productions’ “Criminal Minded”. Ice Cube was further able to merge the fanbase that loved Public Enemy, BDP, Jungle Brothers, De La Soul, A Tribe Called Quest, X-Clan, Poor Righteous Teachers and Brand Nubian with one that also loved Ice T, King T, Geto Boys, Compton’s Most Wanted & Above The Law in a way that N.W.A. couldn’t do without Ice Cube.

Ice Cube’s output and evolution between 1988 and 1992 is easily one of the best and most impactful 5 year periods of any Rap artist in the genre’s history. It’s insane to think that span only covers Ice Cube between the ages of 18 to 23. By the time he was 25, he was considered a legend who was instrumental in launching several Rap careers, including Yo-Yo, Del The Funkee Homosapien (and Souls Of Mischief & Hieroglyphics), Threat, Da Lench Mob, Anotha Level & Kausion amongst others.

Sean “Puffy” Combs once told Ice Cube that while he was in the process of putting together “Ready To Die” for Biggie during his days at Uptown/MCA he studied “AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted”. Over the past 30 years solo acts, groups and producers alike have all drawn inspiration from this album and cite it as influential. This opus is one of the many bodies of work that inspired me to write about music, frame it and put it into full context for those who may not have lived to experience the era for themselves. Ice Cube went and fucked up the program… Fuck you, Ice Cube!

[x]

[gofancyninjaworld]

The World of Heroes, Part 3:  The Association

With great thanks to @scumerage for giving me the necessary framing. 

So, welcome to Part 3 of me geeking way too much about heroes and One Punch Man. In Part 1, I talked about the challenge of being a hero.   In Part 2, I took a step backwards and looked at what heroes were in the context of OPM.  This part,  I’m going to build on them and write about the world of the pro-hero. 

No one has ever needed especial qualifications to be a hero, neither in the real world nor in that of OPM.  Heroes arise from anywhere depending on the situation.  The idea of someone paid to be a hero seems rather weird the more you think about it. 

A: Why a Hero Association?

We can’t understand the Hero Association unless we take the time to really appreciate why it came to exist.  The Hero Association was born out of desperation.  Specifically,  mysterious beings had been appearing with increasing frequency in the world going back at least twenty years -- and back when Saitama was in middle school, it’d already gotten severe enough a problem that there were calls for the government to set up a specialist force to deal with the problem. 

Calls that went unheeded. 

For years. 

Until Agoni had that epiphany that his grandson having the luck of being saved by a random stranger didn’t have to be luck. So he got the buy in of both politicians and business people and set up a Hero Association to organise heroes and save people (not necessarily the same thing). The Hero Association is 100% donation funded, no taxes.

Like a beacon of hope rising out of a sea of tragedy, the Hero Association’s main building stands.

B: Why be a Pro-Hero?

The key thing that I’m going to bold is that the Hero Association ORGANISES heroes.  It does not train them, taking only ‘battle ready’ people.  It does not worry about developing them.  You have to already be a hero. Wannabes need not apply.  

This fact has many important implications. 

First, there is a right time to join the Hero Association: when the hero work you are already doing has come to take up so much of your time that it is interfering with  your ability to make a living.  The undying gratitude of the person you saved may be priceless, but it doesn’t pay the rent, nor the hospital bills you incurred.  Come to the Hero Association at that time and it’s a fantastic deal.  It will reliably pay you every month. It will pay your medical bills. It will record and recognise your activities. It will indemnify you against the damage that you do during the course of your work. If you’re not in Class C, it will help you with equipment.  It may even put money aside for the pension you’ll need much sooner than you think.  

Second, the Hero Association may not train, but it also does not constrain.  As discussed in earlier parts, the sort of person who becomes a hero is someone who doesn’t fear standing out or going against the flow -- they’re independent minded and often more than a little eccentric.  The HA’s attitude allows for the weird and wonderful heroes we see to thrive. No prescription of how to do your heroism.  No uniforms. Out of Class C, no expectations of minimum activity.  

However, while the Hero Association has broad standards, those standards are NOT LOW.  Every profession that carries authority over others from teaching to the police has a perennial problem of how to spot and weed out those attracted to it for power tripping purposes, the narcissists, the sociopaths, the sadists, the abusers, and the plain evil.  The Hero Association’s pro-heroes are remarkably good -- far better than the general population.  There’s a certain amount of nonsense the HA will put up with from super-useful heroes but we’re seeing that even there, they have limits.  I don’t know what combination of selection criteria and the demands of the job that create this, but it works.   

And there’s a logic to it: hero work, doing good hero work consistently is far too tough for people who don’t have both a serious moral core and a desire to be pro-social to last.  The manga expansion has been at great pains to examine the different avenues available to people with the power to be pro-heroes but not the moral core and/or social drive -- regular law-abiding civilians doing whatever the hell they want to.  Sportspeople. Criminals. Mercenaries. Vigilantes.  Conversely, we’ve also been shown at least one person with the morals, but not the strength -- that person made an exceptional police officer. 

With great power comes no obligation -- your life is your own

It’s not a perfect model, and its shortcomings are becoming clearer -- which I’ll discuss in a bit -- but it does do its job of supporting exceptional and highly individual heroes to dedicate themselves fully to their self-appointed work. And they’re good at drawing from society at large: a non comprehensive list of former (and current) professions of pro-heroes includes actor, circus performer, construction worker, salaryman, manager, swordsmen, professional martial artists, hunter, trapper, perfumier, farmer, athletes, body builders, ninjas, ballerinas...the list goes on.

C. Classes and Ranks

Deploying heroes means sorting heroes so as to use them in the best way possible.  There are no size limits to any of the classes -- as many as fit the requirements of a class will be in it.  The HA is always recruiting.

Class C is the threshing floor, where heroes start if there’s no compelling reason to recommend that they start elsewhere -- or if they have their doubts.  The combination of low pay and the expectation of weekly results means that there’s no opportunity to work half-heartedly. It quickly discourages the lazy, those who aren’t strongly self-motivated, those lacking in initiative, those expecting quick recognition, the ones who simply cannot work with others, the ones who won’t take lawful orders and the plain incompetent. Expectations are relatively low. Stopping small time criminals, being helpful to people and being willing/able to work with others to take care of monsters will see you in good standing. Getting out of Class C seems to be dependent on showing that you can be relied on to single-handedly kill monsters (any damn kind) OR by being promoted to C Class Rank 1.  The majority of heroes have done at least a short stint in Class C, including many current Class S heroes. 

It’s hard to survive on your own in Class C

If a hero is inclined to be lazy, Class B is where to be.  No formal quota, no formal  expectation of being drafted to help with an escalating situation (like Class A and S heroes), semi-decent pay,  help with equipment design/maintenance,  its lower reaches are quite a safe place to coast.  When a Class B hero does work, the expectation on them is that they be entrusted to handle a wolf-level threat on their own and if Don Pacino is typical of the sort of criminal that gets a B Class bounty, heavily-armed gangs are fair game.  The challenge of Class B is the Blizzard Group -- if you work close to or in Z-City, and are ambitious, Fubuki will come knocking sooner or later.  It's a problem that the Hero Association knows about and chooses to do nothing about, seeing it as just another test ambitious heroes have to negotiate.

It’s a shame that Class B is so dominated by the Blizzard Group that it’s difficult to find pictures of just Class B heroes that’s not them. And yet we know nearly none of them...

Class A is the where the main backbone of the Hero Association lies.  That this is shifting of late doesn’t negate the fact that most monsters are threat level tiger or below.  For the vast majority of threats, Class A is where the buck stops. The roughly forty members of this class are the highest class of heroes you could still consider ‘normal’ human beings.  Highly visible, hard-working and with high expectations placed on them, A-Class heroes are what other heroes aspire to be.  There may be no formal tutelage system in the Hero Association, but Class A heroes take turns to orient new recruits as to the rules and expectations of being a pro-hero.

Class A comes across as a group whose members are just as comfortable on their own as in working with others.

Class S is... well, it is special.  Unlike the other classes, a hero cannot be promoted to Class S: it is by direct invitation only.  And that invitation is on battle record, battle record, and battle record alone.  Only the demonstrated ability to single-handedly slay a threat-level demon monster or more will elicit that invitation.  By staying at Class A Rank 1, Amai Mask closes off the possibility that a hero who doesn’t meet those requirements can nevertheless request a promotion interview and talk or network their way in.  Why so persnickety?  Because these heroes are the In Case of Emergency heroes: when the shit really hits the fan, that’s when they step up.  With so few of them, a single S-Class hero can easily be all that stands between tens of thousands of people and a horrible death with no back up available for hours.  We’ve seen a lot more of them than the average person in the story does because the story is set precisely in the midst of several extreme emergencies. 

They may be the most powerful heroes, but they don’t have the best reputation amongst other heroes. Even between themselves -- they’re amazingly fractious and Flashy Flash’s summation of his colleagues is particularly scathing: 

The other Class S heroes are useless.  They’re either stubborn or hide their own identity, weirdos, children and old people.  (from webcomic chapter 112)

Getting this many Class S heroes in the same place at the same time is like pulling teeth

What about ranks?  Within classes heroes have ranks, but they don’t directly correspond to battle power, have little to do with seniority, and are absolutely not measures of hierarchy within a class. What they are are measures of a given hero’s perceived utility to the Hero Association. Ranks give heroes something to measure themselves by, act as a tangible measure of progress, are something that does correlate to how well a hero gets paid within the class and of course, they bring feel superior points.  If a hero is minded to climb classes, Rank 1 of the class below is the ticket to apply for promotion. 

What’s very fair about the ranking system is that it’s assessed weekly. No matter where a hero starts out, week by week, they cannot help but build an actual track record. The Hero Association isn’t slow to reward good heroes with promotions -- it’s why even the Saitama who won’t report his work and claims to cheat is rising so fast that other heroes keep attacking him.   What’s troublesome about it is that it’s a points based system, whereby points can be divided between heroes... which opens the door to some underhanded shenanigans. 

Wrapping up

The Hero Association has solved a very troublesome problem: how to reliably hire a hero?  Precisely because anyone can be moved to acts of heroism, people have been saved by a random assemblage of other people, only a few of whom would ever think of doing it regularly.   What they have done in short is to give those people basic security and protection and otherwise let them get on with doing what they do.  

What’s been good about their approach is that they’ve effectively captured lightning in a bottle, bringing together some exceptional people, and deploying them in a way that balanced their needs for individuality with the benefit of collective action.   Until recently, it’s a model that has worked.  What’s been bad about it…. Ah, that will wait until the last part of this series.