#for being cis and het

[salmon404]

I think the issue with having way too many guy friends as a kid is that I know have way too many trans women/femme friends now.

[jasperyourmutt]

I love being a FREAK OF NATURE. i love being a QUEER. i love being a FAGGOT. i love being a SEX FREAK. i love being a DOG FAG. i love being TRANSGENDER. i love being SO NORMAL <333333

[pickled-flowers]

Ok so a while back I had a conversation with my friend's aunt. She's a trans woman well into her 50, who has kids and grandkids, and she came out when she was in her 40's. Me and my friends were talking about our queer space, and mentioned the well known "token cishet man"

Now, I'm sure most of us have that guy in our friend group, and it was common for us to just call him the straight guy. But my friend's aunt offered a different perspective ; she once was that token cishet man in a queer group of friends. Getting categorized so strongly as "the cis straight guy" made it harder for her to come out and accept herself. Since that talk with her, I've been careful about it, and guess what? Two women I've once called "the straightest person I know" (different occasions, and it was high school) now have girlfriends! You literally cannot know if someone is queer, and honestly most people are not the straight cisest person out there.

Anyways I'm not very articulate and English is not my friend but like I think everyone would benefit from being a little more careful about the way we treat our "token straight guy", she might be thankful later!

[lembowe]

I present to you: the horrors I would have had more for this ask, but as shown in my previous post, last time I tried to draw for this au it crashed my drawing program and ate my work cisfrin and mirahet scare me please let me out

[ack-cough]

Sheep I am in awe of your dedication to fixing in cis and het

Im at aw of my own dedication too

I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE FUCK I AM 😭

just infected my brain like a worm and went "I can fix him"

[aweirdofangirl]

So, I finished squid game season 2 yesterday, and I've been trying to be normal and not have my first post about a wonderful season of tv be about a ship. But the voices are screeching, so I'm just going to say gyeong seok and hyun ju is an amazing ship. There's something about the way that they both extend kindness to others. The way that one of the last things young mi says is that gyeong seok is like a prince. The way that in the next round we watch for the first, and only time all season, as hyun ju is given the space to be a damsel when he saves her. The way that he sees her at her most vulnerable when she is grief-stricken and does his best not to leave her side for the rest of the season. The way that even through that he acknowledges how cool and badass her extensive knowledge of guns is. That's flavor, I have no idea what to tell you.

[deimosatellite]

was losing my mind abt being a trans guy and how absolutely erased we are by fandom spaces when it comes to anything mlm being "fujobait" and "for fujos" but then calmed down a second and realized idc. i am the yaoi they detest and they love. i am god

[trashsuit]

ICAH is taking over my brain. I had a nightmare about Miracis and Cisabeau and woke up hating everything.

Unfortunately for me, I gotta finish a fic that takes place in this au

[rotteneldritchhorror]

watching the like normie and subby rafe-girlies react to him being tied up on the boat is so funny to me

its fully him tied up by the wrists like he's been in that exact position before and the captions "omg daddy <3 on my knees for him", its so silly, i love it lol

[gdragonsideburns]

Played killer chat ONE TIME and now it’s four days later I have about a thousand saves, several play throughs and three reads of the Halloween story under my belt to mine speech patterns for a character I found terribly cringy and am now in love with. (In terms of cringy-edgelord-eboys not in terms of writing, he’s exceedingly well written). Anyways now I have around 5000 words of corruption based dddne ronin porn on my computer. Is this penance for my sins?

EDIT:I posted it btw its on my ao3 same username same spelling

[aq2003]

Can I dump on you some fandom musings? So I’m a fairly new Tennant fan and I’m not all up to the whole lore, but it was my impression just from the general fandom chat that there is some ambiguity when it comes to DT and sexual/gender topics. Like, many fans seem to think or jokingly imply at least that he’s either not all straight or not all cis, and it can assume many forms, from fans who clearly just hate his wife and want him with Michael Sheen to fulfill their fanfic dreams to fans who want to self-identify with him to the max, like if they’re gay/bi or not cis themselves they would like DT to be somewhere on that spectrum himself. The latter is at least understandable to me, unless it goes overboard into actually imposing on him this preferred identity and getting mean if the reality disagrees, the former is straight out delusional thinking mixed with undisguised misogyny, imo.

What I get from the source himself though, after reading up a bit, observing for about a year and listening to the latest podcasts, is this: I can’t see how anyone can realistically assume that he is not straight. Lol. Like, if we listen to the man himself and see what is publicly available, he’s as cookie cutter straight as dudes go. I mean, his first crush was Madonna for god’s sake (and he said this before, not just in the podcast, in case some people want to invoke the so-called PR). And his three known girlfriends (known to me, but at least they’re actual acknowledged girlfriends, not tabloid suggestions) are: Anne-Marie Duff, Sophia Myles and Georgia. All three could convincingly play sisters lol. Or, with good make-up – Madonna. The man clearly has a type (nothing to be ashamed of) and his type is that of about 90% straight dudes: petit blonds. There’s just no ambiguity here if we don’t engage imagination or rumors, all of which could be 100% fan made.

It’s a bit harder to judge when it comes to the cis topic. Mostly because it’s something that only the subjects themselves can acknowledge or not, there are no outside factors that can serve as a definitive ‘proof’. But here we have his preferred pronouns, which are he/him.

Mostly, my conclusion is that in all these fan speculations, whether malicious or totally benign, there’s a lot of latent/internalized homophobia, even if fans themselves are gay/not cis/genuinely progressive. Because after checking available facts I can’t really see where these assumptions about DT could come from other than him going against many gender/straightness stereotypes of so-called toxic masculinity. And many fans who genuinely think they don’t have these ingrained stereotypes and even fight against them, actually do have them as it turns out. DT fits a lot of those not-straight stereotypes, like his love of colourful clothes, his many close friendships with women and gay people, his love of camp, of course his support for LGBTQ+ people for many years, even his physical attributes: thinness, gracefulness, delicate features, his damn manner of sitting… The amount of gender envy he invokes, his whole non-toxic deal.

Many things. Lots of tiny green flags for not straight and/or not homophobic people, which in fact shouldn’t add up to form ANY conclusion about his actual sexuality/gender expression, but somehow still do. I could’ve understood this in so-called tinhatters because they seem generally insane and malicious, but I realize that quite often I see it even from normal fans, even if expressed in mostly playfully suggestive ways that you can’t really pin down as statements of fact, but which still impose a particular identity on a living person who never admitted such identity and in fact stated the opposite several times, both in word and in deed.

It’s not the worst thing that could happen of course. But I personally wouldn’t want to impose an identity (or question their clearly stated identity) on a real human, even if it would be comforting for me personally, and it’s exactly what this suggestive attitude from the fandom made me do when I first started to get into DT (through Much Ado). I actually thought he was an out bisexual, and may be a non-binary person, because fans were very suggestive in this area as well. It’s actually when I saw that he stated his preferred pronouns in the Macbeth program, when I learned that it was never stated otherwise before, and I started digging for what else wasn’t true.

It’s just that I don’t think it’s OK to impose sexuality/gender on a real person based solely on vibes, even if playfully and in a benign way, it’s my little pet peeve. Because if we do that, logically we can deny gay people their sexuality as well (vibe check failed) or disbelieve trans people who pass insufficiently for us…

Sorry about writing a whole essay, it’s because English is not my native language and I can’t be concise and efficient when trying to make a point. I like your art and general style, so I decided to dump it all on you, sorry.

first off thank you for liking my art i grow at least 10 times in power whenever someone compliments it dhdgwhwjw soon i might be able to draw a background on my own

i think where more of the well-meaning ppl come from is that one interview w arabella weir where he said that people assuming he's not straight doesn't bother him, which i feel like is a pretty healthy mindset for someone to have (especially in 2008) bc it helps takes away the stigma around queerness in that it's not something to be afraid of being labeled as. but then also you can tell even from the brief description arabella gives of her friends' attitudes that the reason people kept assuming he was gay was bc of some really toxically masculine/homophobic attitudes so ...idk lmao. i never really gave it a ton of thought. for me at least i just take him at his word and i don't look into it or make any more assumptions bc i don't know him. like his dating history or whatever matters a lot less than him outright saying "i'm an ally not an active participant"

[dallasstarsdyke]

when i started watching blue eye samurai i was like 'it would be really easy to start posting Mizu Bigender Real. however, i won't limit myself to interpreting her as a woman + trans man as projection because this show has a lot to say about the role of women. then they did stuff that made it impossible for me to not say Mizu Bigender Real

[3416]

do we think austons a trump supporter

yeah probably lololol... most likely he doesn't care or bother to vote but ema has commented on a trumpie christina marleau post with "proud of you 🇺🇸" before so. it's a yikes

[uncanny-tranny]

Part of me wants to empathize with the cishet man who is afraid to even appear gay. I think what the cishet man often fears by being seen as queer in dress, in mannerism, in taste, in speech, is that he fears his manhood will be stripped away, his humanity questioned. It's uncomfortable to think. It's uncomfortable to feel, and when you often don't face that for who you are, it feels even more biting. It feels like you have been stripped of a comfort you have had for decades, for your whole life, in one fell swoop.

It's certainly rooted in queerphobia, sure, but as a trans man? I would be lying by omission if I pretended like my own manhood wasn't questioned daily because of who I am, if I pretended like I haven't face violence for my manhood. I would be lying if I pretended like it's perfectly safe every time when people suspect I am queer (not even trans, but "just" queer).

[aloeverawrites]

The patriarchy says men can’t relate to women.

It says that you always have to put other men first, always.

Your wife is a nag, your sister is a bother and an annoyance, your daughter is a burden. When he says “women am I right?” about your family members, you’re supposed to nod and laugh along with him. Ally alongside a stranger over the women you’ve known for years because women, am I right? You’re both men. By the grace of his gender he understands you more then a family member ever could.

You can’t be interested in girly stuff, heaven forbid teenage girl stuff. You like bands until teenage girls are into them and then they’re posers and name the songs because get out of my space don’t you know we can’t be in the same space?? I can’t be like you. I can make horrible jokes about you, demean you, generally look down on you but I can’t be like you. That’s the sin.

Stay away from chick flicks, pink, anything that women have left their painted glittery fingerprints on. If your friend hands you her purse stand there with the most uncomfortable expression and make sure to project put upon expressions at every man on the vicinity so he knows you’re suffering.

Always make sure you’re acceptable to your male friends and male coworkers, they are your priority your social currency. And a woman trying to be your friend is just a pick me, the only reason a woman is trying to be around a man is so he might date her. They just want male approval. Those poor things. They want to be one of the boys. Because no girl can like beer and sports. Anyway move, can’t you see Saturdays are for the boys, we’re going to the man cave, the sanctuary from all the women, no girls allowed sign on the door. You look at your friend to see if he approves. He does, good.

You want to stop drinking but that’s how you bond with your men. Your statues is from being able to handle your liquor, being able to hurt yourself just enough that you’ve proven your manliness. You thought about going vegan but they’d make fun of you. Hurting other things is a part of it as well. You have to be the strongest one.

And men, if you like women. If you like hanging around your female friends, or your mom (you mamas boy) or your sister you’re a sissy. If you value women, care about their opinions or give advice on their hair or listen to their debates about the right dress, well you’re gay.

That’s the only explanation for caring about a woman.

You’re not a real man because to be a man is to be absent of anything “woman”. Men are from mars women are from Venus and we are completely, completely separate species and not the same one put down two paths of blue and pink.

There are so, so many differences between men and women there are too many to count I can’t even get into it and it’s not the fact that one calls themselves men and one calls themselves women. No thats… there has to be more than that.

And we hate the people who change from men and women because what do you mean the line is that thin. That there are “female” traits waiting in my dna, that we are the same species after all and our similarities are waiting in my bones.

Because then what keeps me from everything we joke about with her. All the violence of being a woman… that’s not me that’s not because I did everything right because I did all the man things and I followed all the rules. And the men and god forbid the girls who were secretly among us all the time, the gays ones the girlish ones well yeah we treated them like women. They didn’t follow the rules. It’s easy to be a woman but god please don’t treat me like one.

Because being a man is a set of rules of expectations lest you be thrown out but it’s also a biological fact, and you’ll always be one but ban estrogen because that could change.

We joke with our friends we perform correctly and at the end of the day it’s still that woman is human and it’s in your bones. Half of your worlds your cultures you try to keep yourself uninfected by it sneaks up your mind and into your heart disgusting. You’ve sunken your nails into your arm as though you can pull it out out your skin and when you lift them off, the lines they left on your skin they’re pink. No, no wait they’re darker you’re safe.

But when you look into your mirror and you look into your eyes.

Damn it.

You really shouldn’t have cried.

[lostryu]

like sure say what u want about 'allies' doing their best, but i will never forget the time that i said "thats homophobic" as a joke when i dropped a pen; and my white cis/het coworker got so upset that she went to the manager because apparently she felt stricken by it and got into her head that i was somehow calling her homophobic. and like. the manager literally spent over 15 minutes talking to me about how i should be more careful and that some people are uncomfortable and think that im calling them homophobes.