#for all that he does; for all the love within his heart

[secretlyobito]

Underneath

Description: Satoru doesn't want you to see him without his blindfold.

Fluff, angst(teeny tiny), Satoru eating icecream :D, lots and lots of feelings

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Seconds turned to minutes and minutes to an hour. You sat beside Satoru on the dusty park bench, occasionally stealing glances at his blindfolded face. Satoru on the other hand ate his ice-cream happily albeit almost obliviously, if he noticed you taking little peeks at him then he definitely didn’t point it out as he continued to eat his snack, his blindfolded eyes taking in the scene of little children running around and playing.

You glanced away again as your fingers mindlessly prodded and poked at the chipping paint of the park bench beneath you. Why didn’t he want you to see what was underneath the damn blindfold? Admittedly, your relationship was a bit new, you and Satoru have only been dating for a little under a year. Still, within that time, moments had been shared, I love yous exchanged, memories made and your bond made stronger. Despite how you felt, you didn’t want to push Satoru. It was a surprise he was even dating at all, having stated himself multiple times that he did not see himself being in a relationship, you were quite grateful.

Recalling how Satoru felt about relationships gave way to the ugly feelings of insecurity you had been suppressing. You glanced at him worriedly one more time before the cruel thoughts began to flood your head, ‘where exactly is this relationship going?’ ‘does he even care about me as much as I care about him?’ ‘did he really want a relationship? Did I pressure him into this?’ ‘what if he-’

“11” “huh?” you asked stupidly as you were snapped out of your thoughts. “11, this is the eleventh time you’ve looked at me thinking I can’t see you~” he chuckles, the ice-cream in his hand all gone as he prepares to devour another one. “Am I not allowed to look at you?” “you can but I don’t approve of the motive behind it” he hums, his nimble fingers unwrapping the frozen treat causing a few kids to glance at his hands longingly. He unwraps the treat and hold it out in front of you “no thanks” you refuse politely, pushing his hand back toward him. “I know what you were thinking, I can smell the self-depreciating thoughts” You scoff as you glance away from him “what are you a mind reader?” “maybe” he chuckles leaning closer to you from his spot on the bench. Satoru never really understood the concept of personal space, he was always up in everyone’s face, Yuji, Megumi, you, you name it. You laugh at his usual intrusion of your personal bubble as your palms come up to push his face away, faltering when the textured fabric of his blindfold comes under your fingers. “ah so that’s what this is about” he hums again sitting back in his seat, you found it a bit annoying when he did that, read you like an open book. Most people mischaracterized Satoru as goofy and aloof, he was anything but aloof. He was one of the most observant and intuitive people you knew, he was anything but aloof.

You fiddled your fingers nervously as your heart raced, you had brought it up before the topic of wanting to see what he looked like underneath the blindfold, but he skillfully brushed you off, leaving the air awkward and tense after. You were afraid of creating that atmosphere again, you didn’t want to give Satoru, whom you felt like you had hit the jackpot getting him to be your boyfriend, a reason to leave you. You sighed as you ran your hand through your hair, you always felt like you were walking on eggshells around him. “tell me what’s on your mind, not that I don’t already know” “………It’s fine Toru, I was just thinking” you face forward again, subconsciously scooting away from him. Satoru frowns at this, he hated making you upset. He always knew he was a jerk but he truly felt it when he made you upset, he sighs as he tosses the wrapper of his ice-cream in the trash, getting up and holding his hand out for you “shall we? My sweet?” he says in his usual playful voice but you can sense the tension behind it a you grab his hand and get up.

The air is tense and awkward as you both walk home, exactly what you feared. He swings your joint hands as you walk down the street, “you know, I cover my eyes for a reason…” you cringe internally at the statement, feeling guilty he has to keep explaining himself to you “I know Toru and I completely understand, I’m sorry if it feels like I’m bothering you about it” his hearty chuckle rings out as he swings your joint hands harder “you could never bother me…..Ijichi maybe but not you”.

“Sweets, do you know the feeling of being exposed? Not just physically but emotionally too. When I first started covering my eyes, it gave me relief not just from the pain of the six eyes but from being……me. It gave me a shield, a cover, a moniker, kind of like Clark Kent when he wears the glasses” he chuckles. “my students call me the blindfolded idiot when I wear it and I love it, can act as silly as I want with them…. with you but the truth is, that isn’t me. Wearing the blindfold is nice because it helps me escape this cursed reality, helps me escape the reality of what I am. Y/N I’m nothing more than a symbol of power but I don’t want to be that for you, I didn’t want you to see me that way, I just wanted to be more than that for you and all I managed to do was to make you feel like I didn’t wanna open up to you” he sighs, now it was his turn to steal a glance at you. His jaw nearly drops as he sees the tears running down your cheeks as you sniffle. “Shit don’t cry, was my speech that sappy?” he winces as he wipes the tears away from your eyes. “Toru…I” you tried to find the right words to respond but you couldn’t, you had never even seen Satoru be half this serious or open, you had no idea how to respond. He smiles as he watches you fumble for words “you don’t have to say anything” he mumbles before swooping down to place a chaste kiss on your lips, his ears turning red as he does so, who knew underneath his bold, audacious moniker, Satoru was shy when it came to intimate affection? He quickly recovers as that stupid grin washes over his face again, his fingers moving behind his head to untie his blindfold “but I don’t blame you sweets, not a lot of ladies can resist this” he announces proudly, getting ready to reveal his face to you but your fingers abruptly stop his.

“its ok Satoru” you smile at him, watching his cocky grin drop from his face as you take his hand in yours again, resuming your walk home. He smiles in silent appreciation as you two walk home, tugging you closer. “and just so you know Satoru, I love you, every version of you”.

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Little Gojo fic for the soul since he got screwed over by gege in the last chapter. If you liked, please reblog! Enjoy♡

[aftgficrec]

My Personal Favorite Fics EVER!! All Neil/Andrew

I hope I am doing this right! I just hit the share button on my bookmarked fics. Idk if any of these have been on here before (I have read a lot of fics and it gets confusing to know which ones I found on here bc there are so many good recommendations, or ones I found on my own. But these are 3 of my favorite fics that I feel like are the most well done!

• Everything's Alright by DarkD: This fic is unfinished but so worth the read!! It is a soulmates au, and in it Neil and Andrew are looking out for eachother since they are 6 and 7 years old. It completely changes their dynamic but manages to keep the characters realistic. I love the direction it was going, I hope the author finishes it, but even if they don’t what they have written so far is worth the read.

• If I Knew You by AceSirenSinger: This fic is soooo amazing!! It was posed pretty recently (starting January 2024 and finishing in May) and It shows a different direction with Aaron and Andrew’s bonding, and different reasons for them having problems with each other. It features writer/author Andrew and Law Student turned police officer Aaron. The writing is so high quality and it is a completely finished fic!! The writing to show the writing of the book Andrew has written alone is impressive enough to get you to read it. I love it so much, it also gives a more realistic approach to Neil’s life and trauma as well as gives you more of a perspective on the problems of Aaron’s life. (Even tho it’s an au and doesn’t show his life during AFTG)

• Deep blue ( but you painted me golden ) by Jeaneil_22: This fic is not finished but completely captivated my attention when I saw it. I was surprised I had not read it before (because I am obsessed with Raven Neil fics, and this is one of them) but then I realized it was posted within the last year or so. It’s completely underrated. It does have a lot of hits but the kudos count not being in the thousands is a crime against humanity. The realistic take on. Neil’s trauma and different things going on as he is still connected very heavily to the Moriyama’s is sooo interesting. And if you are looking for a fic where Neil is a victim of SA/Rape this fic is also a good one for you. (Though it does have a lot of trauma so mind the tags) I know a lot of people are looking for fics like that tho and it’s hard to find bc there is so much SA trauma in AFTG 😔

Thanks for the recs and for sharing your thoughts on the fics! Readers, all of these stories lean toward the darkest themes of AFTG. -A

Everything's Alright by DarkD [Rated E, 182901 Words, Incomplete, Updated June 2023]

Previously recced here

Souls weren't meant to be left alone, so they split, always looking for their other half. No matter how long it took, the moment a soul existed, it sought the one that would complete it. The main indication is, when one of the halves of the soul turns seven years old, an identical mark appears on both parts. Along with that comes a set of unique abilities that soulmates can only use with each other—for protection, for finding each other. Soulmates would never be alone.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: child abuse, tw: torture, tw: blood, tw: gun violence, tw: homophobia, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: murder, tw: canonical character death

If I Knew You by AceSirenSinger [Rated T, 43145 Words, Complete, 2024]

Previously featured in this long andreil + aaron angst ask, our staff recs writers post, and as a random rec

Neil is imprisoned at sixteen years old for being the Butcher of Baltimore. Andrew obsesses, and Aaron obsesses because Andrew does, and everything goes wrong and raw and painful. Feat. the twinyards breaking each other’s hearts, and a decent amount of shade on the American justice system.

tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: recreational drug use, tw: implied/referenced violence, tw: implied/referenced torture

​​Deep blue ( but you painted me golden ) by Jeaneil_22 [Rated M, 163298 Words, Incomplete, Updated Sept 2024]

After the horrific incident that happened in the nest and the sound of Kevin crying, Nathaneil made the hard call and bargained with his life to get Jean and Kevin out, having no slight idea about the storm that was heading his way And after being missing for two years, Jean and Kevin swallowed the hard truth that Nathaneil might be dead somewhere To their surprise one day he appears out of the blue looking so much like their brother but nothing like Nathaneil at all Or Nathniel went on the run with his mother when he was 9 years old but three years later Nathan caught up to them and threw Nathaneil in the nest So we can say some things went a bit different .

NB: playlist for this fic

tw: dark, tw: gang rape, tw: dubcon, tw: human trafficking, tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: assault, tw: flashbacks, tw: panic attacks, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: abuse and torture, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: medication addiction and withdrawal, tw: recreational drug use, tw: nonconsensual drug use, tw: vomit, tw: homophobia, tw: canonical character death

[hotvintagepoll]

Jean Arthur (The Talk of the Town, Too Many Husbands)—It's Jean Arthur! She supposedly named herself after King Arthur and Joan of Arc so she's got that weird gender swag and her voice is often described as frog-like! She's kinda small yet always has the energy she could beat up any of the guys around her. In fact, in The Talk of the Town she attacks some cops with a wrench. Hot! Her vibes are so weird and I'm in love with her. Hope that helps.

Jack Lemmon (The Great Race, The Apartment, Some Like It Hot)—He's the everyman, he's clumsy, he's strange, in nearly every movie he finds himself in the oddest of circumstances because he's taken advantage of or because of... bad luck? You empathize with him, he's really a little guy. And yet... Why is he so hot? Why does he have this charm, this hidden fire, this weird kind of... elegance? You can't help but sense this magnetism he radiates. There is power in his charming eccentricity and clumsiness. He just really draws you in and you want to explore what it is that makes him so scrungly and so attractive at once.

This is round 1 of the contest. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. If you're confused on what a scrungle is, or any of the rules of the contest, click here.

[additional submitted propaganda + scrungly videos under the cut]

Jean Arthur:

wait wait wait come back i can justify this i promise!! yes. i know she is heaven on earth. her voice sings to the angels and croaks with the frogs. i am also aware she is a luminous blonde. however h a v e you considered the gospel that a fruity screwball blonde dame can, in fact, scrungle? in her own bizarre fashion? i present her entire filmography but also this clip as evidence. look at her little twinkle as she sics her two husbands against each other and loves every second of it.

in this one she starts disassociating because she's going to buy a dog.

Jack Lemmon:

his chemistry with judy holliday in their two movies together is ZOINKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i couldn't find any clips of that so watch him have mad chemistry with peter falk instead in my favorite campiest film of all time instead

His character in Glengary Glen Ross is literally the archetype Pathetic Guy. Even if you haven't seen this film I PROMISE you have seen iterations of Jack Lemmon's character from it. His character in Days of Wine and Roses will break your heart and show what an amazing range he has. [editor's note: I haven't seen either of these films so don't consider them recs from me. Also please keep your propaganda within the 1910-1970 range. tw for alcoholism in the clip below.]

[respectthepetty]

Sun x Moon in The On1y One

I wrote briefly earlier about the “looking at the moon” scene in episode eleven of The On1y One, but regardless of how this cookie crumbles in the last episode, I think this conversation was excellent.

The boys are the sun and the moon, which I wrote about at the midway point of the series.

Wang is sun-coded. He is yellow and orange. He is openly friendly to his peers and warm toward them.

And the show has stated that he is the sun like when Wang was teasing Tian about the love poems he marked in the book, all the love poems were about the sun!

A girl's shyness is like a tender cherry under the sunlight; 16- and 17-year-olds are like fruits in the morning sun, sparkling

Therefore, the love poems were about Wang.

Tian is moon-coded. He is blue (and black). He isolates himself from his peers and is cold toward them. And now the show is stating that.,

But just like the book of love poems that revealed how Tian feels about Wang, we get an indirect glimpse of how Wang feels about Tian through this conversation.

It doesn't matter how good or bad the subtitles are because the focus is that Tian views the moon as something bad.

Life has it's ups and downs just like the moon waxes and wanes. It feels like everything connected to the moon is sad and full of regret. The moon shines on Earth every day, but only lights up half of it. Is that half kind of an eternity?

Tian thinks of himself and his life as sad. Everything that is connected to him, he thinks is full of regret. And he only allows people to see his outside by never letting others in. Yet Wang started this conversation off by stating his mom loved the moon and the Teresa Tang song, which we all of know since it was also featured in Moonlight Chicken!

"The Moon Represents My Heart" is an extremely popular Chinese song:

You ask how deeply I love you And just how great my love is My affection does not waver And my love doesn’t change The moon represents my heart

So not only has Wang established that he was raised to love the moon, but he also mentions this song which declares that he feels very deeply for his love and the fullness of the moon represents that love, which is probably why in the fourth episode, he was on the moon when his rocket ship came to get him.

In response to Tian's comments about the moon, Wang offers his take on the moon:

I don't agree with that. I think the moon often symbolizes light and hope, so even if it's only half, or just a moment, a second, as long as it's imprinted in your mind, it's eternal.

The conversation began because Wang's mom would ask his dad to pick between the moon and the sixpence, and in this, we see the great debate of love versus money, the future versus the present, and the abstract versus the practical. The moon is far and can't be held yet the sixpence is close and can be held. The moon would take time to get to, but the sixpence is within reach. The moon is a thought since it holds no value that can be seen, but the sixpence is money that can be used! And that's why the moon is love. And that's why Tian is the moon.

The Eclipse, Big Dragon, and Moonlight Chicken are just some BLs that gave us this sun and moon,

And the thing that they all get right is that the moon isn't the negative while the sun is positive.

The sun can burn. The sun can blind. The sun can harm. So it isn't always the positive entity that people tend to make it out to be. But the moon offers light in darkness. The moon guides the water in and out of the shores. The moon gives hope and guidance to those struggling.

So Wang's mom wanted him to pick the moon because she wanted him to pick love. She wanted him to see the possibilities rather than settle for what he had, which wasn't much. She wanted him to look to the future instead of worrying the present. She wanted him to not fear the distance, but instead know that the moon would guide him toward it. She wanted him to have hope.

And Tian gave him all of that.

So the conversation is lasagna. It has layers. It's about all these different things, but all these different things are the same thing. It's about Wang's mom. It's about the moon. It's about Tian. It's about love.

And it's about hope because regardless of what happens and no matter the distance, the moon always shines in the darkest of times, and guides those who are lost.

So even if everything looks bleak and all hope is lost, the moon will guide you home.

[crescent-blades]

Refusing to talk to them | Kokushibo

| Warnings: slight hurt 💔 and fluff 💞| Warnings: None | WC: 0.7k | A/n: Kokushibo and y/n are married |

𖤐ˎˊ˗ Masterlist

  ̗̀➛ You two rarely argued, if at all. Both of you were understanding of each other, and Kokushibo being a man of little words along with his calm disposition really made it nearly impossible to engage in any arguments with him.

  ̗̀➛ But for the first time, you two had argued, so intensly infact- that for the first time you witnessed a side of him that you had never seen before-- he was so angry that for the first time- he had raised his voice at you.

  ̗̀➛ after the argument, he himself was pretty heated. Frustration had boiled up within him, and in an effort to release the pent-up energy, he just started training himself, perfecting his strikes and accuracy; as the frustration built up within him would be released in a series of slashes

  ̗̀➛ As time passed, the intensity of his anger began to fade, and he realized that the argument was ultimately all trivial anyways..

  ̗̀➛ Almost an entire day had passed since your heated argument. As always, Kokushibo, your husband came home, expecting you to have forgotten thibgs like him and moved on. Only to see that you were just completely ignoring him.

  ̗̀➛Kokushibo would be slightly taken aback at your behavior, deep down, hurt even. Did he really mess things up that bad? No.. he could not--perhaps you were still grappling with the situation.. So he just dismissed it entirely, beleiving that you'd forget it all eventually..

  ̗̀➛Until that time never actually came. What began as one day stretched into two, then three, until almost a week had gone by, and you still chose to completely disregard him. Refusing to even acknowledge his presence.

..."How childish--"

  ̗̀➛ He'd think.. yet deep down, he felt concerned. Why were you behaving like this? The only person who he had managed to form a connection with.. someone who he had genuinely learnt to care about had abruptly just cut all ties with him?

  ̗̀➛ A sense of pain began to settle in his chest-- in his heart.. yet still, he attempted to dismiss his feelings, regarding the situation as insignificant as he'd ventured out to release his frustrations through training, until even that ceased to provide relief anymore..

  ̗̀➛ But the the thought of you- your words, the smile that lit up your face when you saw him, those comforting embraces, and your soothing presence—had vanished. All of it, the argument he once considered trivial now kept replaying in his mind over and over--

Your silent treatment had deeply wounded a demon who nobody could even lay a scratch on.

  ̗̀➛ He understood that now even training wasn't helping with anything. Deep down, he sought your embrace once more.. he though the only way to undo all of this would be to make amends with you.

  ̗̀➛ So the next day, he decided to reach out to you. He was infact, a man with little words. Conversing with people seemed trivial to him, but as for you, not conversing with you seemed draining-

"The moon.. appears quite lovely today.. does it not?"

  ̗̀➛ He'd try talking to you, bringing up conversations, hopinig to draw you out, yet you remained unresponsive..

"Y/n, my dear... I understand I must have said things that must have.. upset you.. but please let us forget about these trivial matters.. my heart.. longs for your presence.."

  ̗̀➛ he'd apologise to you, for the hurtful words he had used. Definitely, having him yell at you like that, he brought out a side you never saw in him, and it definitely had hurt you. You would share your feelings with him, and he would listen attentively, do his best to understand you..

  ̗̀➛ But in the end, he'd never let you stay mad at him for too long. He didn't want to lose you. He valued your presence in his life, as you were someone in many centuries that actually understood him, and he learnt to genuinely love you. And letting some silly arguments jeapardize your entire relationship was something he'd never let happen..

  ̗̀➛ He'd write heartfelt poetry for you, to cheer you up.. he'd write about your beautiful smile, your delicate touch among other cherished qualities. He would craft a beautifully written love letter along, with some beautiful flowers hed give to you from time to time. Although he may not be a man of many words, he is dedicated to ensuring your happiness in every possible way.

[deeppenguinstudent]

something about how Jeremy has a passion for music and ends up singing at a local club with a very attractive yet mysterious bartender that amps up his fraysexual tendencies.

something about how jeremy, who was an addict to prozac and alcohol and was drowning in the prospect of never becoming a true musician battling his addiction so he can remain sober in the face of Jean aka the bartender.

something about how Jeremy writes lyrics and lyrics about Jean, his thoughts always drifting towards the teasing glint within his eyes, and he manages to write a song that caught the eye of a producer (Cough rhemann) that by happenstance came around.

Jeremy then is propositioned to write an album, which he does, and rhemann absolutely loves it. He gets the opportunity to go on tour, but he has to leave Jean behind, which leaves him reluctant at first but Jean kisses him and promises he'll be right where he left him.

After 6 months, Jeremy comes back to the bar, but what he sees shatters his heart. he sees Jean across the table from some guy. He tries to play it down by saying it's just a friend, but as Jean leans towards him and captures his lips, Jeremy knows he can't lie to himself anymore.

His music turns fickled with jealousy. It was still met with glee from his fans, but he drank and popped pills almost every day trying to get that damned image of Jean out of his mind. Jean finds him one day, beside the bar.

He attempts to make conversation, but Jeremy is feeling bitter, and he is so hurt. Jean was the one who told him to chase his friends, Jean was the one who promised him that he'd wait for him as they kissed their goodbyes, but he had already found another man.

Jean didn't seem remorseful. He just seemed melancholy. he says to Jeremy that one day, he'd look back and realise that Jean was the one that would hold him back. He didn't want him to choose between his career and Jean because either way, they'd both be unhappy.

Jean had a partner who chose his career over him. He did encourage him, but Kevin had left him with a shattered heart and that was not a situation Jean would like to repeat again. Especially since it would hurt more coming from Jeremy.

all my songs are about you. the good, the bad, the happy, the sad. jean I can't go one day without you in my mind and it's driving me mad.

he takes Jean home, and Jean sees the scrapped paper all filled with Jean's name. It was the first draft, after all - Jeremy needed to show his raw emotion.

Idk what happens after you decide

[destinationtrekk]

Something a little sad. Re5 Wesker, where Reader feels less and less seen and loved, she understands that Wesker has a lot of work and a world to conquer, but she still needs him, no, she doesn't want his credit card or a dinner that Wesker abandons within minutes.

She is tired of waking up in a cold bed next to him, of only arguing with Wesker the few moments she sees him, tired of giving everything of herself to receive nothing in return.

What changes everything is Excella, seeing her flirting with Wesker breaks her heart, insecurities haunt her for days, weeks even, reader thinks Wesker notices, but he doesn't, in an argument she can't take it anymore.

"You're so used to me always forgiving you and being there for you, you haven't even noticed how little love you've given me. I'm tired Albert, tired."

it would take a serious loss for re5!wesker to realize something like this. he manipulated excella for his own benefit and then killed her just because it bought him some time, so if anything i think he'll be really annoyed you're calling him out. it's not that he wants to manipulate you too, he DOES care deep down.

when excella flirts with him he's annoyed by that too. he wants to snap and push her away but for the sake of his plan he can't do that. he tries to explain to you what he has going on and whats at stake, but you hit him back with "our relationship is at stake."

this makes him pause. he had never even considered losing you. he sort of felt bad about the nights he spent away and all the times he cancelled on you or just totally forgot, but he thought that was what couples did. people forget things sometimes, especially when they're as important and busy as a Wesker.

you have to sit with him and have a serious conversation about your happiness and maybe even threaten to leave. it's a little toxic and you feel bad, but you feel worse about living in a big cold house while being ignored by your partner.

hopefully this makes him realize what he's done, but he won't immediately fix it. he does try harder to answer your texts and calls and be home in time to fall asleep with you, but i think he's a very hard man to love at this point in his life and you'll have to stick it out to make things work

[sepetajmikolikomehoces]

Bojure snuggles. They’re so cute together, don’t you think? Did you have any thoughts about that tonight?

Oh, I had thoughts. So many thoughts. 630 words worth of thoughts, in fact.

He knows his reputation. Muca. Cat man. Sunshine. Jure is even man enough to admit he quite enjoys them, even plays up on his monikers on more than one occasion. Always a smile, always lands on his feet. Well, mostly. There was that incident in Dublin. And the hunting tower. And the time with the–

He knows. The others know. They know him well enough now to keep the metaphorical door open, because just like cats, Jure will choose his moments of intimacy. He’s just as likely to – quite literally – hang off any of them, as he is to withdraw, to be happy and content in his little bubble. 

It’s a balance, and his scales seem to always be a grain away from tipping this way or that. Jure doesn’t mind, not usually. Not so long as the step from one to the other is easy. A hug, a touch. Spending precious freetime in his garden, phone turned off. They are gradual, he can always feel the shift, can prepare, can plan.

It’s worse when the pendulum swings too far, too fast. Jure loves what he does, would not choose anything else in the world, no one else to share it with. And it’s fine when it’s euphoria, when it’s love like light and energy in his veins and Jure flies high and thinks maybe this is the time he can stay. 

(or at least not crash)

It’s fine. Until it isn’t. Until he is horizontal on stage, tired to the bone. Until he needs a week away from everything. Until he needs closeness like he’ll perish without it but can’t find the right words to ask for it.

“Stay.”

Bojan’s hand on his shoulder is gentle, sending shudders through his body. Everything is happening so much, so quickly, and it’s exciting. New single, new tour, hype and excitement. And Jure is so, so, so tired. The idea of driving home has been haunting him for the past hour as they wrapped up another long day, but home is home.

Quiet.

His own bed.

Too quiet.

Alone.

“Kris has a family thing tomorrow, he’ll stay at home,” Bojan continues, voice gentle and even. “Come over. You can– Don’t feel like you need to drive back home tonight. It was a long day for all of us.”

Jure hesitates, pauses in his efforts to tidy up something that has been in order for a while already.

“I don’t…”

“Please. Please, stay.”

Maybe he and Bojan are the same in a way, Jure thinks as he nods, finally looking up to meet Bojan’s gaze. Fine until they aren’t. How many times have they not ended up seeking each other out for comfort, equally tactile when their moments align? 

So, he goes. Follows Bojan home, follows Bojan’s lead, follows follows follows until within the safety of four walls two arms open and take him. Jure could melt when fingers gingerly thread through his hair, fingertips digging into his lower back and his spine seemingly unlocking vertebrae by vertebrae. His nose pressed against the crook of Bojan’s neck, the warmth and scent there familiar and comforting. From far away, words filter through, slowly unfolding meaning and intent, lining themselves up to lead him home like lanterns in the night.

Easy.

Easy.

Easy.

Like the nap shared on the pullout sofa bed.

Like Bojan clinging to him in tears after Martin’s last gig with them.

Like too many nights in Hamburg, in London, on the bus; wordlessly seeking comfort, always finding arms that will open.

Like now. The steady thump of Bojan's heart, fingertips drawing meaningless shapes from the nape of his neck down his spine and back up. It’s closeness like he needs it. Jure sighs, long and slow, and drifts off to sleep.

[nikki152006]

the letter | Hawks X Reader

oneshot; (wrote it some 3 yrs ago and edited the narration here)

(it was a result for a "write a letter to mha characters" quiz of mine)

.

"Calm down, will you?" Tokoyami says over the phone, "I can not believe it's me of all people who needs to console you."

"Well, it was your idea." you pace your room in stress.

"It was dark shadow's idea." Tokoyami doesn't sound happy at your accusation, "I even warned you against trusting him just like that. His maturity level is down in the drain. That all put aside, I really do think you should relax. Definitely, sensei wouldn't hate you."

"He wouldn't hate me?" you frown and take a deep inhale, "I wrote that guy a love letter and we left it in his office, Tokyo!"

"I do not see how that should make him hate you.. " Tokoyami sounds confused, "Hawks sensei has quite a following, it would only be normal to him if you ended up having feelings for him too. Relax, it's no big deal."

"Oh my God." you clutch your head, "Is this how you're consoling me? I don't know what to do– is there a chance he wouldn't have seen it? I really just want to bring the letter back now."

"Wow." Dark shadow's voice sounds, "That's really spineless of you," you gasp at that, "relax, (Name)-chan. Everything's gonna be fine. If Hawks sensei ignores you, I'll fight him for you."

You pause, "Ignores? You know what, I'll call you and Dark Shadow back later, Tokyo. The both of you are only increasing my anxiety."

"Okay." Tokoyami sighs, "And stop calling me Tokyo."

"No." you hang up right after.

Continuing to pace in the room, you begin to prepare yourself for the worse. It's true Hawks could just ignore you if he gets uncomfortable with the whole thing. If not that, he could just reject your feelings.

After all, he does get thousands of letters per day (though none are found at his table top in his office) and like Tokoyami said, it would be only normal for him to have a little girl crush on him.

You're two weeks away from your birthday and do not at all wish to be crying over his rejection on the day you turn eighteen. 

"It's alright." you try to console yourself, "There's a lot more beauty in this world to cry over just one guy." but it's easier said than done.

No matter how true your words are, they do nothing to ease the way your throat suffocates in anxiety."

Your phone buzzes with notifications on the side and you pick it up to distract yourself with whatever they're from only to find an unknown number having texted you.

__________________________

XXXXXXX

heyy

you really thought you'd 

send him a letter and BOOM

he's into you, huh

haha, bitch

stop daydreaming

look at this 

seriously

stop embarrassing yourself

there's other important ppl

in his life

__________________________

Your brain processes the texts way too slow. Once it does, however, you feel something in your heart shatter.

A picture of Hawks blushing and another of him covering his face combined with the texts you've received explain a lot. 

There's other important people in his life.

It makes sense– you don't know much about his person life. You only know Hawks the hero not the person who he is away from the limelight.

It makes sense, absolute sense, but it hurts. 

"It's okay." you mumble futile and empty words to yourself, one hand making way to your chest and rubbing it hard. The ache lying within overpowers even the peak of control you can exert over yourself.

A tear rolls down your cheek. At this point, you don't even know what else you were expecting.

"I am just another fangirl." you tell yourself, "It's alright. That's what happens, I'm no one special– I barely know about his personal life."

A ding brings in new messages from the same number.

__________________________

XXXXXXX

we've got some things to settle

fifteen minutes from now

on your dorm roof

lets fight

YOU

lets please talk it out

it's nothing serious

I guess I'm just a fangirl

XXXXXXX

ask me if I give a fuck

__________________________

It hurts you to reply this way but this is just the truth.

But how can someone enter U.A.? I don't think non pro heroes would be allowed to enter.

And this thought leads to the rather painful realization that the person texting you might just be Mirko, you know Hawks is good friends with her so there could always be things between them that you aren't aware of.

It's just best to go and talk to her and clear out any misunderstandings. Who knows what sort of ruckus might follow.

You violently rub your teary eyes and swallow hard, "Well then."

There's no one on the roof when you reach there. With a sigh, you walk over to the boundary and lean against it taking in the view of the night at your school.

The suffocating weight on your chest remains constant but the worry about what Hawks would think of you beats it.

It hurts to remember how seriously you had written the letter and poured all of your ehart into it. Now, you only feel like an idiot.

Why the fuck did I even think this was okay?

If you could, you'd make everything go back to before you'd written it. All the worry, all the nervousness and this painful rejection-- you sigh.

"Pretty, isn't it?"

You haven't paid attention to the view until now. At once, you blink focusing your gaze in front. A small smile rises up your face, "It's beautiful." and then you pause.

"You didn't even notice me sneaking up to you." the way too familiar from the snort makes a tsunami of heat crash against your body, you snap your head to where Hawks is leaned to the boundary by your side.

"Hawks." your jaw falls a mile below.

"Yup." he smiled, "I had to come, didn't I?"

On reflex, you look around to see if someone else has come with him but not another soul is around.

"You're.. " you swallow hard, a mountain of shame settling in your face, "Uhm... well.. "

Hawks hums, his face turned towards the school building in view, "I thought I'd just talk to you face to face. I was on my way to Musutafu anyways."

"O-Oh.. ?"

"So you wrote me a letter." there's the tiniest bit of tease in his voice, "You think I'm handsome, eh, (Name)-chan? Boy, I did not know that."

Your face falls into your hands. You wish the earth would swallow you whole.

"Well," he hums a moment later, "I sort of saw the letter in front of Mirko and she urged we should prank you so she took those pictures of me while I was reading the letter. I don't know what she's texted you though. She said you'd be happy to see me in person."

It takes you a while to process the thing about the pictures.

You don't have it inside you to face him anymore but the relief you feel on knowing this was a pranks expresses itself as a sharp exhale.

Hawks' face turns to you again, a sly smirk rising to his face, "You weren't getting jealous, were you? Ahh, I really want to see a jealous (Name)-chan. Your little crush on me makes this so much easier."

With great difficulty, you manage to separate your face and hands and try to lift your head.

"Oh right," Hawks snorts, "it's not a crush, it's love."

"Come on." you whine, turning your face away.

Hawks laughs, "You're adorable, (Name)-chan. Don't you worry, you'll still be on my priority list of little girls crushing on me."

"Look at how proud you are about that." you roll your eyes hysterically, "Shameless chicken."

"Aw, don't you think being mean to me makes me not want to hang out with you?" he dramatizes, "I thought we get careful when we get a puppy crush."

You're honestly just glad he isn't hating or getting creeped out by you.

"You were on your way to Musutafu?" you try to change the topic, "For what?"

Hawks hums a little, his gaze focused on the distantly visible city, "Say, (Name)-chan. You're of age, right? Your birthday was three months ago so you should be eighteen already."

"I am, yeah." your gaze rests on him for a bit- Hawks looks beautiful in the low night light.

He turns to you, "I was coming to Musutafu for this date I have to be on. I realized I should confirm your age outside the school. Nezu looked pretty relaxed when I said I want to visit you so that was relieving."

You blink, "I'm sorry?" there's a darker shade settling on his face now that you focus.

"Takami Keigo." he hums, "That's my real name."

The sudden revelation takes you by surprise, "Oh? I.. wow. That's a nice name."

"Of course," he snorts though there is now something adorably nervous to his voice, "your crush on me makes everything about me nice."

"Other than your personality, yes." you pout, "Look at you insensitively teasing me. Are you wishing to see me cry later?"

"Ne ne, (Name)-chan, you really think I'd let you cry?" he turns you towards himself.

You blink, "H-Huh?"

Hawks smiles nervously, "D'you.. you know.. want to go out with me tonight?"

It takes an eternity for your brain to process it. Once you do, your jaw drop in shock only to tug upwards immediately into a smile.

"What? What.. seriously?"

"Of course." his hand rubs the back of his head, Hawks looks embarrassed, "I-I mean.. it's not important that your crush is one sided.. "

"You like me?" you don't remember when the last time you'd been filled with such pure thrill was. You're basically jumping on your feet.

"If you're going to behave like this, how do you expect me not to?" he pouts and speaks in a small voice.

"Wow." your gaze locks into his, "That's just... "

"Sweet?" his hand boops your nose, "It is. But anyways, should we?" he holds his hand out.

You're about to put your hand onto his put pause, "Has Aizawa sensei allowed you to take me out." you pause, "Shit, I'm not even dressed right." and you continue to freak out more in happiness than in worry.

Hawks chuckles, "You're being pretty reasonable for someone who gets to be with the sexy hot number two." and the sassy reply he expects doesn't come.

You wrap your hands around him instead, "I am."

A gush of red burns his cheeks, Hawks lips part, "Wh-Whoa.. okay." his eyebrows jerk, and his head turns to the side now radiating with heat.

"Shit." you step away from him, "I'm not making you uncomfortable or something, am I?"

"Not at all." Hawks's eyes lock into yours, "That's.. actually leave the date. Let's go to your room and watch a movie or something."

"Boys aren't allowed in our side of the dorm." you make a sad face.

"I'm a man if you haven't noticed." he frowns, "Take me down there, I'll make sure you never miss my manliness again."

Your eyes widen and avert to the side and a buzz rises up your skin. Hawks looks pretty dead set with his little tease and is happy to see the reaction he was expecting.

It's risky sneaking Hawks inside so he sends in a feather first. Thankfully, there's no one in the hallways at this hour.

You let Hawks inside first and enter after securing the area. Little do you realize you've pushed him right into the one wall full of posters of him. You thank yourself for not having pasted hearts or something of the sort around.

"Looks like you have a major crush on this pro hero Hawks." he looks smug but the warm red tint of his ears adds more to the story, "That's so cute."

Your cheeks flare up, "W-Well.. th-there's nothing to hide anymore.. I guess."

Hawks hums, "You'll be knowing me as Keigo no onwards." he leans forward and pulls a poster down, crushes it and throw it to the side.

"What are you doing?" you frown in confusion.

"There's a lot of other things you need space to stick on the walls." he says, "Things about Takami Keigo and not Hawks," a teasing smirk rises up his face again, "and then you can continue to thirst over a sexier side of your hero crush."

You pout and turn away, face now warming up the air all around, "You're so mean, Hawks." there's a silence, "K-Keigo-san.. "

"Good girl." he hums, making all hair on your body rise on their ends, "Try it less formal."

You swallow, "Keigo-kun.. ?"

"Yeah." his hand strokes your cheek, you feel your legs getting weak, "That's more like it, babybird."

"You're literally so mean." your gaze averts to the ground, "Coming all the way here just to tease me.. "

"And maybe also to see you get excited like a little kid when I say it's mutual." he winks, then plops onto your bed, rubbing his face into the pillow.

The thing about the number two pro hero is that the confidence seeps out of all pores in his body. Even if he is shy and nervous, Hawks would unapologetically spread around knowing it would not at all change anything about your feelings for him unless it makes them more intense.

He knows that because he has seen the expression on your face when the two of you would mess around and do weird stuff to annoy Tokoyami (although it was mostly you).

Hawks would have a bigger hand in verbal teasing.

"S-So... " you fiddle with your fingers, cheeks heating up more at the thought of his scent settling onto your sheets. Hawks turns to you.

"Movie?"

"I-If you want to."

"Or maybe we could just.. you know," he playfully winks.

You freeze momentarily, "What... ?"

Hawks snorts, his hand taking his visors and ruffling his hair. He beckons you to come sit with him while taking his shoes and jacket off.

You now find it hard to not stare at his torso.

"Should we have a photoshoot?" he turns to you, eyes full of adoration.

It's too bad that your dirty mind is not able to process anything rationally on being exposed to his biceps now. And it just so happens that you and Hawks are awfully comfortable with teasing and insults on being friends for so long (all thanks to Tokoyami).

That is why the words slip out of your mouth before you can realise, "If you strip, yes."

Hawks blinks, his ears visibly getting a hot shade of red but expressions forced to remain straight, "You really have some wild fantasies about me, babygirl. Tokoyami told me all of them."

You blink, "What?"

He smiles cheekily, "If I strip, you'll lose your head."

"No- Tokoyami did what?"

"Told me some stuff." he hums, "Told me I should get a spine to propose to you but then boom, you send the letter and it gets easier for me."

"He knew you liked me back?"

"Of course he did." Hawks pushes his boots to the side with his foot, "Don't you go getting mad at him," his hands plant on your hips, cheeks blooming red, "this is my payment for this request."

In another second, you're sitting in his lap.

"So, photoshoot." he clears his throat, unable to properly talk now that your body is pressed against his with your adorable eyes looking up at him in shock and embarrassment, "I-I'll use my phone."

[sugashook]

the symbolism of the yellow horse🐎 on wades cozy home shirt and sweater attempt at analysis:

the horse is yellow🟡 just like logans suit, yellow🟡 symbolizes strength. a horse symbolizes strength, courage and freedom. usually logan is seperated from the x men,wishing to do his own thing in movies, etc. but it has reigns on it it has been domesticated. a horse is a companion, a helper. an animal.

the black could represents domestication, or control. and around it is change again in white. so maybe the horse is in a controlled domestic environment (black) that represents wade's house. and around that environment is something completely new (white) and different that is, wade's universe.

all throughout its hair and snout on top if it is a white streak, white represents change so the animal (logan) we could say a change went through core of his mind. and it can talk as well, it's a talking animal.

its saying "gosh wilbur!" hes scared of the change, of the new universe, it's very shocking. it must be nice that wade is helping him out.

it is a reference of a talking horse a talking animal from a 60's tv show 'mister ed'

"Mister Ed (Himself) is a horse who is owned by Wilbur Post. Mister Ed is not just any horse, he talks to Wilbur. But this gets Wilbur in all kinds of trouble because Mister Ed won't talk to anyone else, so Carol , Wilbur's wife, thinks that Wilbur loves Mister Ed more then he loves her, because he spends so much time with Mister Ed. Mister Ed also talks on the telephone and goes out of his barn to cause mischief, for which Wilbur gets blamed."

Wilbur is basically Wade he's the only one who understands this yellow horse/animal (Logan) because the horse found the first person he ever liked so he decided to talk to him (mr ed [the horse] says that in the showwwwww aaa]. thats why he talked to Wade. and the first time they met, Mr Ed literally immediately got tired of 'the human' and his overwhelming chatting, just like logan got tired of wade in the movie.

and wilbur is like the weird peppy chatty guy who's OBSESSED with the horse and insists on keeping it in his home [THATS INT HE SHOW TOOOO] and the horse is like a quiet grumpy animal.

maybe logan will go around wade's universe and wade will be blamed for whatever he does? it makes sense. like the wolverine is an anomaly just like miles was in spiderverse. but wade loves him more than himself FOR SURE since wade loves everybody whos a good person so much :) he has so much love for the world and people like himself, that he will sacrifice himself for them to live, always!

and kinda more than his universe a tiny bit because he doesnt say lets do it together, do whatever is necessary to save it. he pushes logan out of his way and sacrifices his own self to try to save it, he tells logan to say hi to his friends for him (the audience).

he is wearing his own colors on the outside in the form of a soft fuzzy jumper. except the red is now pink, the black is now brown due to the yellow, logan's yellow color, added to it.

it's fuzzy and cozy it's warmth , and its coming from his own self. he is able to cover himself with his own colors now and comfort himself and logan.

deadpool's red ,his always exposed red, his beautiful loving passionate heart is going slightly cool, it's calming down, colors to more cool tones like altheas colors which are purple/blue and the blue of logan's costume. he has two people giving him the blue/cool color now.

we can see the green/blue text from the horse it's like his calming strong words are speaking inside of wade's chest. they're colored in the green color which is logans colors together. he's hearing logan out a little. i believe green represents family, growth, its slightly green.

the blue represents peace and harmony. with his yellow horse inside his chest, with strength in his chest his heart grows harmonious with his universe. maybe he won't chase the universe and it's approval and look within and around himself. and see peace, love for himself in his family.

althea's colors are usually cool, purple. in this movie for example, which means wade has peace at home and it is mixing, but its rare for wade to wear such colors blended. there's usually a sharp seperation

the color of domesticity and control in black is brown with yellow added to it. aka his domestic life is stronger, his home support system with logan. his family is stronger. who's gonna protect an old lady and a defenseless woman (wade)? also he's taking more of a control of his life, his emotions.

mr ed is telling wilbur to go talk to vanessa on the shirt, perhaps!

[winterhawkbigbang]

Winterhawk Big Bang 2024 Rec List

1. Not just a Mask 2. Escaping the Mind of the Winter Soldier (And Setting Yourself Free) 3. Surprise Attraction 4. Spring Dawning 5. love song (for a girl) 6. Soul Mambo Jumbo 7. Every Breath You Take (Scars Edition) Summaries and links to all fanworks below!

1. Not just a Mask by 42donotpanic (Teen And Up Audiences, 28k words)

Summary: When Clint meets yet another person from an online dating site he didn't expect him to change his life as much as Bucky did. Not that he's complaining. The man is just too cute...

* two art pieces by ivvic: [link]

* a lookbook (illustrated guide) with a playlist by daisytarget: [link]

* a podfic by 42donotpanic: [link]

2. Escaping the Mind of the Winter Soldier (And Setting Yourself Free) by Iam_giraffe1123 (Explicit, 28k words)

Summary: When an easy job turns south and Clint is captured and thrown into a cell with a man he didn't think he would ever see. Trying to survive with the conditions they are in. With many years later, another mission turns south and Clint has to guide his way out of his captures clutches and save the one person he always wanted to protect.

* a podfic by 42donotpanic: [link]

* an art piece by kissitbetter: [link]

* an art piece by LaguNerd: [link]

3. Surprise Attraction by ivvic (Mature, 27k words)

Summary: Clint ends up with a baby while working at the circus and is not coping well with single parenthood. Bucky steps in and offers them a place to stay.

* an art piece by c_Art: [link]

* two art pieces by OriginalCeenote: [link #1] [link #2]

* a moodboard by endlesstwanted: [link]

4. Spring Dawning by ArtaxLivs (Explicit, 16k words)

Summary: “Two lovers separated by the light, both an animal and a man in darkness,” Clint easily recited, having heard it hundreds of times over the years, “A woman with no past, running in a life that isn’t her own. A god in exile, unable to trust his own strength. A genius whose mind is lost to a dragon. A leader frozen in time in a lake above the clouds. And the bard with no heart cursed to speak the truth but never know it.” OR - Ladyhawke? I think you meant Winterhawk.

* two art pieces by ivvic: [link]

* an art piece by ruinscollector: [link]

* a lookbook (illustrated guide) by daisytarget: [link]

5. love song (for a girl) by daisytarget (Explicit, 39k words)

Summary: Jamie Barnes is a competent sort of woman. She does her therapy, she cooks her meals, she stabs her own enemies. She doesn't need much in the world, because her independence is her greatest treasure. And then she meets Cat Barton, all sweet smiles and butch build and slow drawl and helpful instincts, and all that kind of goes out the window, because while she doesn't need, she certainly wants. She really wants. Cat Barton has no idea what's coming to her, stuck on the prettiest lady she's ever seen who makes her feel - well, not needed, because she'd surely fuck that up. But wanted. Yeah. It makes her, against her life's advice otherwise, really want Jamie Barnes back.

* two anonymous art pieces: [link]

* an art piece by amoredition: [link]

* an art piece by kissitbetter: [link]

6. Soul Mambo Jumbo by ElloPoppet (Teen And Up Audiences, 16k words)

Summary: “Well, to keep it simple, Clint – you know Clint, Barton? – well, I might have accidentally gotten his soul stuck in an Astral Dimension. I could use some help finding him and, ideally, bringing him back.” If Bucky hadn’t lived the lives he’d lived (so many lives in his hundred-plus years), he might have dropped the box of tea in his hands, or let the vortex of confusionconcernshockfearexhaustion that Bruce’s explanation stirred within him show on his face. But he’d had practice at this, at living through moments like these. He placed the box gently on the counter and inhaled deep enough to hurt. “Okay,” he said on the exhale. “And how do we do that?” - Or, Bucky's soul does find Clint's in the Astral Dimension, but the 'bringing him back' part of the mission takes time.

* an art piece by ivvic: [link]

* an art piece by frenchfriedgiraffe: [link]

7. Every Breath You Take (Scars Edition) by Reremouse (Mature, 18k words)

Summary: Scars tell a story about where we’ve been and what we’ve experienced. Soulmates only meet after that life experience has been lived. That doesn’t necessarily mean they’re ready for it. Shortly after the takedown of Project Insight, Steve turns up at the tower with a quieter Bucky looking for a place to recover himself. It’s a solid plan, at least, until Clint walks right into Bucky, triggers their soul bond, and pretty much tosses Steve’s entire Bucky recovery plan out the window. Bucky is probably not ready to further complicate his life with a soulmate, so Clint does the only decent thing and retreats to his apartment in Bed Stuy. Maybe he should have consulted with Bucky first. A story about soulmates, friends in a tower, enemies in tracksuits, Steve looking out for Bucky, Tony looking out for everyone, the Winter Soldier on his own mission, and Clint.

* two art pieces by Rufferto (embedded in the fic)

* an art piece by Wyxan (embedded in the fic)

* an art piece by kissitbetter (embedded in the fic)

[arcadia-of-pluto]

Twist of Fate; Nineteen

Pairings; LADS OT4 x reader

Word count; 4,646

Themes; isekai, slow burn (eventual smut), Canon divergence

Rating; 18+ for some swearing and mature themes

Notes; Hey guys! Finally done with Sea God Rafayel and now we're on Foreseer Zayne! Currently, his chapter spans until twenty-three, so hopefully I'll be able to wrap up his story soon and get on to the next one. I'm unsure if I want to do Abysswalker Rafayel since that's in the future or if I should skip past that and go straight to the next one 🤔 either let me know or I'll figure it out myself!

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Masterlist

"I will cut out your heart with a dagger honed, my darling. And in Love’s name, your heart will become my faith. Your body will be washed clean like a pearl. I will care for your heart. Till we meet again and you can reclaim it for yourself."

- Siren’s Ballad, Act 3: Muia 

You felt your feet sinking in sand, endless is the yellow sky. Plants grow along a dried riverbed. You walk beside it for a long, long, long time. The skin on your fingers is dry, cracked. Your feet begin to bleed.

 At the edge of the riverbed is a young man and a giant sea creature. You cannot make out his features, but you think he’s taking in the animal’s warmth. He appears to be singing a melody. ‘Tis strange, alluring. But you can barely make out any notes as his voice is barely above a whisper.

 You take a few steps, wishing to hear him better and when he looks up, you immediately recognize those eyes. He stands up and reaches out to you like you were an old friend returning from a long trip.

“There’s Whalefall City.” He points to the bones of sea creatures long dead. In the distance, they rest in the sand dunes. 

“That’s where I can look at the sea?” 

“...yes.”

You take his hand and you arrive at your destination when the sun rises. The teen turns toward you and– a dagger plunges into your chest. 

Warm blood drips and seeps into the sand below. You watch helplessly as he rips open your chest and holds your heart in his hands, red with your blood. A tiny flame feeds on your fresh blood and a shiny crystal, emitting a strange light, rests at the center of the flames. 

There’s a voice in the air whispering, “The reason for us to leave the desert is not to find an oasis…We’re here for a heart, to take it back and make it our worship.”

You jolt up in your bed. A dream within a dream? That was...insane.

Your hand clutches at your chest, almost worried that your heart isn’t there even though you’re alive and breathing– breathing?

Yeah, no.

You felt like you were suffocating. It genuinely felt like your heart was ripped from your chest. You take a few breaths to calm yourself.

To calm yourself, you talk with Algie about the ceremony tomorrow. She says girls wear light, flowy clothes and braid their hair with beautiful pearls and shells. She also says they prepared a lovely garment for you. You also worry about what all you need to do, but she says all you need to do is stand in a conspicuous spot and give Rafayel your hand. She quickly dissuades your worries, telling you that the Sea God’s follower will help him see Lemuria’s future and that the prophecy will reveal the fate of Lemuria.

It’s just a bit nerve wracking, you hope your dream wasn’t a premonition of what’s to come.

 

Today was the day. After thousands of years, Whalefall City holds the Sea God’s ceremony again.

Before the sunrises, the whole city is in festival mode with everyone looking forward to the ceremony celebrating the Sea God’s coming of age and gaining the power to protect the ocean.

As Konche and Algie argue amongst each other, she turns around to spot you in a corner.

“Y/n, what’re you hiding over there for? The sea god won’t be able to see you!” She gently scolds you and you sigh, “Does it matter? There’s so many people, he might not…”

 “Quiet, here he is,” Konche whispers and the crowd erupts in cheers. You look up and spot a huge shadow sweeping over Whalefall City.

‘Tis a beautiful and sacred creature of the ocean. It appears to be a whale and yet has bird wings. The Sea God sits on its back, passing by his loyal subjects before stopping at the gates to Whalefall City.

He walks through the crowd until he stands in front of you, your breath hitches in your chest as he lifts the veil on your head and takes your hand. 

Beautiful, intricate patterns are painted on his body. His eyes are shaped like crescent moons with how much he was smiling. It's as if he’s been waiting for this moment his whole life. 

Everyone moves aside, creating a path for you both as you make your way down. Every child says their blessings in Lemurian. Gorgeous coral branches are thrown behind you as you approach the temple’s doors. 

The door slowly closes behind you both, songs from the outside melding with prayers for inside the temple.

In the dimly lit hall, the fire twists in the darkness, about to go out. The young Sea God intertwines your fingers and holds your hands against his chest. You close your eyes before calling out his name silently. 

Yes…You were willing to give him your heart. You are willing to give him your sincerest form of worship, that’s how much you care for him. You are willing to have his very being etched, engraved onto your soul as you praise and pray to him for the rest of your life. 

Soft like a silken thread, the Sea God’s fire touches your hand. The fiery thread embeds itself into your palm, becoming a line, a part of your very soul. Your eyes flutter back open to meet Rafayel’s gaze. 

The young Sea God’s voice like the wind, blowing out the only light in the darkness, “This is my promise to you. For ‘tis Lemuria’s vow, a bond everlasting.”  

‘No one knows what happened that day. Lemuria is plunged into endless darkness and panic seeps into every part of the ocean. The deep sea is angry and in its wrath, waves slam against the cliffs and rocks fall into the waters. Even temples are turned to rubble.’

‘Tis a long time before the sea god walks out of the temple alone, bringing light back to Lemuria. As he leaves the temple, the alcove that once held the flame collapses.’

‘The Sea God’s follower is gone.’

‘Bathed in sparks and cinders, he holds a small, pulsing flame. It writhes like a newborn. Some said that the flame was born from the purest faith. Some said that the sea god sacrificed his follower to save Lemuria…’

‘Different stories, some true, some not, circulated until the people gradually forgot about the ceremony. No Lemurians have ever seen the Sea God’s follower and the little fish that swims around him– they are gone, whereabouts unknown.’ 

‘Only many, many years later than the god of the sea has perished, when the kingdom has sunk to the depths of the ocean, a rumor begins to circulate Lemuria. The God of the Sea had lied to the deep sea. For his beloved.’

- Lemuria: The Days to Come

The sunlight burns behind your eyelids and you feel more tired than when you first fell asleep. You rest your hand over your eyes and groan as you sit up, your other hand feeling oddly heavy. 

You open your eyes and turn to look before realizing Sylus was still holding your hand with his head limply off to the side as he slept in the chair.

 “That must be pretty uncomfortable..” You sigh, running a hand through your hair as you feel a headache pulsing through your temples.

What exactly happened at the end? Did Rafayel…Take your heart or? 

“The God of the Sea had lied to the deep sea for his beloved,” You murmur, holding your chin in your hand. You wonder what that meant.

Did he give his heart away instead? You clearly didn’t leave the temple with him at the end…

Wait– Not you, her. The main character–

You rest your head in your hands with a low groan.

 What was going on?

You were slowly forgetting who you were, being overwhelmed with all of these unfamiliar memories and unable to remember what your past life– what your real life was even like. You felt like you were actually becoming the protagonist of ‘Love and Deepspace’. 

“This is insane,” You sigh, leaning your head back against the headboard.

“What's insane? Did you get a good rest?” Sylus asks, cracking one eye open as he looks at you, before he chuckles and shakes his head, “Nevermind, don’t answer that, sweetie. The dark circles under your eyes tell me all I need to know.”

 “I mean, I did sleep. I just...” You trail off and Sylus pats your hand. “Felt like you didn’t sleep?” He stands up and holds out a hand for you, “First, let’s get you changed out of that dress and then, we can get you some coffee to wake you up.” 

You take his hand, your body suddenly feeling heavy as if it recalled how light it felt under the water in Lemuria.

Then, you hear something clink around your neck and bring your hand up to touch the necklace that rested flat against your chest. 

“Now where did that come from? I’m pretty sure I took all of your jewelry off before you fell asleep,” Sylus raises a brow, crossing his arms over his chest before he grabs some folded clothes. “It doesn’t matter. Here, this is what you wore to the Nest. I thought you’d want to wear it back home.” 

But you shake your head, hand clasped around the blue scale on your necklace. “I’ll take one of your shirts again,” You clear your throat, but grab the white skirt, “I’ll wear the skirt though.”

After minutes later, you’ve groggily changed into the oversized black t-shirt and tucked it into your skirt. A pair of sneakers on your feet as you leave the room, fiddling with your necklace.

“I boxed up everything I’ve gotten you and had it sent to Linkon,” Sylus says as he walks toward you, holding a mug toward you and you gratefully take it.

You take a few sips of the scorching hot liquid before you raise an eyebrow, “Do you know my address?”

“No, I just had it sent to your workplace,” He chuckles and motions for you to follow him as Mephisto flies over to rest on his shoulder.

“Now, come on. Drink that and we’ll take you back home.”

You try to drink as fast as you can without burning yourself and then rush out the door behind Sylus, your phone resting in your backpocket as messages upon messages pile up.

Your phone finally pinging with notifications as you and Sylus entered the city limits of Linkon City. You assume you didn’t have the best of service in the N109 Zone, or perhaps Sylus was somehow blocking all outside interference from contacting you during your stay. You’d never know. 

What you do know is, you’re so tired... You can barely keep your eyes open as you grasp at Sylus’ leather jacket before your hands limply fall to your side as your eyes start feeling heavy. 

“Y/n?” You can hear Sylus question before he sighs, and uses his evol to hold you up on the bike, the reddish black mist wraps around both your waists.

Then, you fall back asleep once more– just hoping for a normal dream this time.

"Under Astra’s command may the Foresser deliver His will, for that is his fate.”

- Philos: Tome of the Foreseer

In the coldest regions of Philos, the Foreseer has resided in the Tower of Thorns since time immemorial. The Almighty Astra bestowed His power unto him, ordering the Foreseer to act as an emissary for the divine. 

The royal family sends an envoy to the Tower of Thorns every 100 years to listen to the Foreseer’s prophecies. Yet, the Foreseer has not bestowed a prophecy to the royal family in hundreds of years. Envoys sent by his majesty never returned and their whereabouts remain unknown to this day. There is a rumor that the Foreseer has been perpetually frozen in an icy tomb.

To him, 100 years is but the blink of an eye. 

And so, a new envoy travels through snow and ice, entering his tower. It happens again and again- as it always has for the past thousands of years. But you?

You’re not a real envoy– you’ve come here to treat your illness. 

To do this, you must take the Creatio protocore from the Foreseer’s scepter. You have no other choice. This is your only way of survival.

Suppressing your anxiety, you walk into a massive room. The room was cold, almost as cold as the snowy outside, but bright as the moonlight glimmered against the many spears of ice decorating the room. A throne stands in the back of the room, a frozen throne.

You take a deep breath, before you bow respectfully. “I am his majesty’s envoy sent here to listen to the Foreseer’s prophecy.” Your voice echoes through the empty room, not a person in sight until you look up and notice a man wearing a blue robe sitting atop the icy throne. He holds a scepter in his gloved hand.

How strange though…His body is ensnared in brambles, thorns wrapping around his arms, legs, and chest. It almost appears like he’s shackled to the throne.

Maybe he wants to leave but something is stopping him? 

You slowly approach him, seeing that his head is lowered and his eyes are shut. He’s encased in ice. 

“Is he…unconscious?” You murmur to yourself. You look him up and down, wondering if you should just take the protocore now and run, but you stop yourself. His gloved hands were frosty, almost fusing the scepter to his palm. He was pale, not a hint of redness on his body at all, save for his lips.

He looked alive but…not at the same time. The thorns just a breath away from touching his black hair.

After wrestling with your thoughts, you decide it’s best to take the protocore. He’s not using it, afterall.

Might as well put it to good use.

You reach up toward the staff to grab the protocore with your gloved hand, but then a shard of ice shoots toward your hand and you jerk it away to avoid spilling any blood.

 “How impudent..” 

You suddenly hear a voice and you don’t immediately assume it was the man in front of you because why would it be?

He’s been asleep for thousands of years, not to mention his eyes are still closed. You look around with your brows furrowed. 

Was your imagination playing tricks on you? Or…is he simply pretending to be frozen?

Your eyes widen as the thorns that were steadily wrapping around the man suddenly crumble before they disappear into thin air. You take a few steps closer to the Foreseer, confident that he’s not actually awake right now, and you take a good look at his face.

“He’s a lot more spritely than I thought...Every book I’ve read describes him as an old man,” You talk to yourself, holding your hand up to your chin before you jump in surprise as his mouth starts moving, “It seems that those Tomes you’ve gleaned through have taught you nothing about etiquette.” 

Then, his eyes finally open and you’re caught off guard by how pretty they are.

They’re green, no brown…Hazel perhaps?

He glances over at you and you take a few steps backward, suddenly feeling more anxious than you did before.

“Y-You’re not actually frozen!?” You sputter out but realize he’s still not moving.

But is he still immobilized? Now, you’re curious.

You tap the side of his neck with your finger, it’s cold to the touch. Almost as if you had touched one of the ice spikes in the room. 

He grunts, annoyed, “Do you know what happens when fools disrespect the Foreseer?” His voice was fittingly cold and monotone. Though you were worried, at least, he couldn’t move so you brought your hand up to touch his shoulder. It was just as freezing as his neck and stiff, akin to a corpse. 

“Your actions are testing my patience.” He keeps his eyes trained forward, refusing to look at you as if you were a bug underneath his feet. As anger sparks within your chest, you place your palm against his chest and push, trying to get any kind of reaction out of him other than a monotonous reply that you would compare to an angry cat. 

“It seems you do not know what true horror is.” He brings his gaze back to you. His face unchanging, keeping the same expression of slightly turned down eyebrows and an otherwise neutral look on his face.

“And you are frozen. My expectations were a bit higher than this,” You sigh with a small shrug as you step back from him.

“Winter punishes every wrongdoing in due time.” 

Gods, he really sounds like an npc. 

“Haven’t you heard of doing what is necessary in a bad situation?” You raise a brow, placing your hand on your hip.

“But who exactly is in a bad situation?” The Foreseer hums, tilting his head up at you. 

You shake your head with a small laugh as you move forward once more and pat your hand across his lower abdomen. The man sucks in a deep breath before he sighs, otherwise staying silent.

You look up at him as you tap his stomach, “The ice is more like a crystal…What is it?” 

“You have a wild curiosity and a brazen tongue.” He looks away from you and you let out a scoff, “And your tongue is like a winter’s loveless embrace.”

You bet this guy was real fun at parties.

As you roll your eyes, you pat along his stomach again, trying to figure out just what is keeping him in place.

 You hear another noise from the Foreseer but decide to ignore it and instead, you have a teasing look on your face. “That’s your punishment for being impolite.”

“A punishment?” You finally hear some emotion in his voice, though it’s annoyance mixed with a hint of disbelief.

“Aren’t you furious? You are being treated like a plaything.” You tilt your head to the side, a bit shocked that he isn’t even trying to move. 

“Fury? Those sorts of emotions I no longer have any use for.”

Well, that’s just sad.

You take a few steps back once more to reassess the situation. If he can’t move, that means you have the best opportunity to grab the protocore and promptly leave. 

Though it is a bit unfortunate to just leave him here, he’s a Foreseer. You’re sure Astra, at least, values His emissaries enough to pardon a small mistake like this. 

You reach up to grab the protocore once more, confident you’ll be able to take it but, once again, a ball of ice comes toward your hand and knocks you off your feet.

You land on the freezing cold stone floor, your face close to smashing against the bottom step that led up to the throne. You quickly look up as ice erupts from behind the Foreseer’s throne, and your eyes widen as you watch the frost disappear from his limbs. His gloved fingers twitch around his scepter.

He…can move?

Ah shit, you need to get out of there fast.

As you scramble to your feet, the Foreseer is already standing up and taps his staff against the ground.

 “I’ve played enough of your little games. You forget yourself, testing the limits of my benevolence.” He starts walking toward you and you fall back down to your knees, seemingly unable to move as your legs felt like jelly underneath you. As he swings his staff, bright blue light swims around his body and you tense up. 

You’ve got to calm down and get ready for a fight. You lift your arm up in front of you and spit out a quick response, “I-I am his majesty’s envoy! You can’t kill me!” Though, the man scoffs, “An honest death is not a suitable punishment for every pretender.” 

Wait, does he know you’re not from the castle?

Before you can react, a cold sensation coils around your feet. You look down and see frost climbing up your legs.

“Tell me, do you know the fate of thieves who sought the Creatio protocore?” He asks. The ice soon reaches your neck and it’s like a cold hand that’s tightly gripping your throat. 

That’s kind of hot— 

Without sparing a glance, the Foreseer walks past you and he disappears into the shadows…

“Wait– Where are you going, Foreseer? Mm..!” The crystals cover your mouth, sealing it shut and you feel panic beginning to sink in. You couldn’t breathe, your body felt so cold and heavy…You could feel your eyes sluggishly, slowly closing and you really hoped everything would be okay the next time you opened your eyes…

You woke up to a bright light shining behind your closed eyelids. Sunlight drifts through the windows adorned with brambles and roses. 

He…left you here for the whole night! At least you weren’t dead, but still.

The Foreseer sits on his throne, reading a book. The sun’s glow casts an illusion of softness on his otherwise cold demeanor. You clear your throat, deciding to strike a conversation with your would-be killer, “...Foreseer? Uh, a fine morning we have today. Isn’t the weather great–”

But the moment the latter leaves your lips, a frigid snowstorm begins to brew outside before promptly subsiding.

Okay…so he has control over the weather. Isn’t that just lovely?

Other than that, he doesn’t look at you. It seems he won’t even give you a chance to explain yourself. “So…You’ve been encased in ice for ages, but you still read on that throne…Shouldn’t you be tired of the world’s greatest chair after staying there for hundreds of years?”

“You may try it yourself and then inform me of your findings,” He says without looking up from his book, turning the page with his index finger.

 “No, no. I…uh, can’t feel my body at the moment,” You sheepishly laugh off your panic of not being able to feel your limbs.

It’s honestly a bit terrifying.

“I have yet to eat anything after entering the Tower of Thorns so could I…” You try to choose your words carefully, yet he still doesn’t look up. “A human can survive for seven days without food.” He plainly states, “Given your stubborn character, you should live for an extra two days.” 

“You’re…not going to leave me frozen for nine days, are you?” You ask, your aching and stiff neck straining to look up at him from his throne. Your throat choking up as your eyes begin to water at the thought of dying in this way.

“Are those tears of your remorse?”

No, they’re tears of someone who was supposed to die years down the line, now only given nine days. Idiot.

“I… Look, I’m not his majesty’s envoy,” You sigh. “I’m here to ask for a prophecy of my future. Every prophet I consulted said I had three years left to live and I refuse to believe them.” 

This finally makes him look up from his book.

“I’m telling you the truth this time...” You trail off, a bit embarrassed that you’re talking about your fear of death with a seemingly immortal man.

“Indeed, they are delusional.” 

“Huh? Have you scryed my fate, Foreseer?” You seemed a bit hopeful with an excited look on your face.

“To disguise yourself as the king’s envoy and sneak into the Tower of Thorns…You certainly have less than three years.” The Foreseer leans back on his throne and crosses his legs.

“Foreseer, you can’t– mmph!” Ice covers your mouth again and he continues his reading.

A seemingly endless silence returns to the throne room...

Nightfall greets the Tower. Taking the place of sunlight, moonlight shines into the room. Today is the first day of your punishment for entering the Tower of Thorns. You’ve come to that realization after being frozen here. Maybe you shouldn’t have teased him so much, but it’s not like you knew he could do this to you.

It is nigh impossible to warm the heart of a demigod who lives in these rime-kissed lands.

In the middle of the night, you’re suddenly awoken by a radiant flash. Golden words float before you. They are magics cast by the Foreseer’s book.

What…is he looking for?

The Foreseer stares at the words, brow furrowed. It seems he’s not happy with what he’s seeing.

You squint from the light and try to clear your blurry vision by blinking a few times. Then, you clear your throat as if to let him know that you are awake, though he remains unmoving. 

“Do you wish for your mouth to be sealed once more?” He questions and you pause before quickly speaking, “That’s a book about gardening, is it not? I also adore flowers.”

His wintery gaze falls on your face, he clearly doesn’t trust you. “Your mouth is only capable of spouting nonsense.”

“I’m not lying! I used to be a gardener. Every flower I care for turns out splendid.” You tried to speak excitedly with your hands, but they were still as frozen as ever. The Foreseer stops what he’s doing.

The sharpness of his gaze pierces you, trying to gouge the truth from your head. 

“Did I…offend you?” You ask after a moment of silence. Though, he looks away. You think for a second that the conversation is over, but, with a lift of his finger, the ice on your body begins to melt. “Is...my punishment over?” You ask, rubbing your reddened hands together to try and warm them back up. 

Though, as your body has been frozen for almost two days now, you end up falling to the side. Your elbows cracking against the floor.

Ouch.

“If you desire it, then I shall indulge you.” He closes his book. The words of gold dissipate and the room is plunged back into darkness. 

Once your eyes readjust to your surroundings, the Foreseer has already descended from his throne. “Come then.” He motions for you to follow and then begins walking toward a spiral staircase. You shakily stand up and quickly follow behind him. 

You’re out of breath by the time you reach the top while he is unfazed. In the distance, snow-capped mountains are like white seashells. You realize you weren’t brought up here to admire the scenery, however you can’t help but take a few minutes to gaze upon it in awe. 

Then, you notice a tiny white flower bud between the bricks. “Why is a jasmine growing in a place like this?” You question, confused at how this flower could be trying to grow here of all places.

The Foreseer’s frigid gaze observes your every action as you carefully examine the bud. “There’s something wrong with it. I doubt it’ll bloom any time soon.” You sigh, fingers brushing against the fragile little thing. 

“Will you be able to care for it?” He asks as you consider the possibilities, but he seems to predict your next action. He moves toward you, looking into your eyes, “Answer me.” 

“Y-yes..! Of course. It’s a miracle for anything to grow here. Without a competent gardener tending to it, the bud will inevitably die.”

You emphasized the phrase “tending to it” and glanced at the man’s expression. He gazes at the bud and touches its small leaves, “If this jasmine blooms, you may leave the tower with your livelihood intact.”

You’re not sure if you’re imagining things, but it seems like the Foreseer holds the jasmine in higher regard than you.

For now, in order to buy yourself some time and an opportunity, you have to say yes.

“Alright, I agree to your terms.”

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!! I don't really have much to say this week tbh but thank you for over 500 notes on my newest drabble!! I didn't expect for it to pop off this much, but I'm glad you all enjoyed it 🩷

I'll be working on a personal project this weekend, but I'm going to try to write a few more chapters for ToF and maybe one chapter of Divisa— I'm not sure just yet on the latter, but I'll give it a shot!

Taglist; @orphicmeliora , @yoongi-tunes , @mitzkooni , @hiqhkey, @tanspostsblog

[iluvmatt]

you have to have courage to be able to sit in front of an audience and address the things in which bother you in life and also explain what you’re going to do in order to fix it, in order to work on it until it at least gets a little better. i admire matt so much for his strength and all the love within his heart to talk to us. i’m forever indebted to him, for the rest of my life. as someone who has been dealing with diagnosed anxiety since i was six years old, i’m so happy to see that there is someone out there, especially someone with a platform, who wants these things to be addressed; who wants you to know that you are not alone, that your battles aren’t just yours to fight, and that no matter what you’re going through, you’re still loved and cared about endlessly at the end of the day. there is something so beautiful about loving matt, while also knowing that in some ways, you’re loved by him as well. 

[barbieaiden]

rememberwhen he. remember. when. when.when. he

[starkiller-009]

[martyrbat]

habeas corpus – detective comics #1086

(ID in alt!)