#for all my monster fuckers out there

[messagesfromthestarrs]

The Monster Under Your Bed

There is a monster under your bed. It has been there for years now. Ever since that fateful summer night, as a child, you forgot to close your window. It slid in, one with the shadows, finding refuge underneath the warmth of your body and bedsheets.

It knew It would be safe, with you there above It. It spent weeks, months, unnoticed. But perhaps, as a child, you'd had sharper senses, a sixth sense even, and kept looking under your bed, trying to figure out what's off.

the monster wanted so bad for you to see It, and back then even It was so naive, just an extension of the shadows. It trusted you already, and It thought you knew about It already. It had made itself the the shadows of your toys, the imaginary friend, spending days in your closet and nights under your cot. It thought the two of you were friends. So, It summoned all It's strength at the time and took a semi solid form. It saw your eyes widen, and It heard you scream with what It could only assume was joy. Surely you would have been happy to finally see the friend your parents always told you was fake? You were even running out of your room and calling for them!

But the thing was, It didn't like your parents. They were always oh so strict, telling you to put your toys away and go to sleep, then to wake up and go to school. They kept insisting that It didn't exist, that you would grow up and realise how stupid you were as a child, talking to the shadows. It didn't want to waste It's energy on gracing them with It's presence. To be honest... It was even slightly scared of them. They could take you away from It.

No, It would never let such a horrendous thing happen. As soon as It's strength increased, It would focus on making a bond between the two of you first, so you could be forever together. Most of It's kin simply went from host to host, causing nightmares and never staying long. Most of It's kin had abilities related to disguises and quick escapes. None cared for anything other than Themselves. Originally, It had been like that too. But after It found you... It changed It's mind.

Everytime you went to call for your parents, begging them to see under the bed, they would simply be unable to. You called It a monster, begging your parents to just believe you for once. They didn't listen, called you stupid and childish. At one point, you wanted to start sleeping in the same room as them again. They just laughed.

At first, It felt hurt. Really hurt. But It didn't hold it against you. Maybe It just needed to improve its form? And possibly get rid of your parents? And then, surely the two of you would finally get to have all the fun in the world.

This continued till your teenage years. Soon enough, you started arguing with your parents more. They started yelling more. You started crying more. It didn't know whether to be happy or not. On the brighter side, you were spending time away from those killjoys, and spending more time in your bed, above It. On the other hand... you seemed troubled. Even It could notice that. So It would slither up sometimes, extend and arm towards you, cold but caring. And you would cry more, It was sure in happiness.

Nowadays, things were different yet similar. You had moved out of your parents' house now, and It had followed, ever faithful. Your new home was just as cold and filled with shadows as your old, so It liked the place very much. It had grown in power, just as you had grown in understanding.

You still had to go to that horrible job of yours, and even to university, but It was a very patient being. At the end of the day, you would collapse into bed, and dream of a better life. And The Monster? It was just happy to be in your presence, under your bed. All it wanted was You.

And Its wish came true. It spent hours in the morning, craving your warmth on top of the bed as it paced in the shadows. And you listened! you left your job, stopped going to classes, stopped talking to 'friends' (It didn't like them, It didn't like that you were smiling with them, and not with It.), you just, existed.

You begun laying in bed all day, wrapped up in blankets in the dark. And oh how happy The Monster was! How kind and caring were you, to devote every second of your existence to It! It craved your presence and your attention, and that's what It got.

You stared into the darkness, and the darkness stared back. And for once, you neither screamed nor cried. You did not smile or blink or speak. And when It reached out, the darkness alongside, you let it.

[slightly-knot-insane]

Dragon boyfriends that have fire in their bodies and also make sure their cocks get some of that heat. Cock warming - but who is warming whom?

[microtyalm13]

everything about Gavriil feels suffocating.

how his presence alone can be almost overwhelming, how his massive body cages you everytime without a chance to escape. you wouldn't dare to try anyway, knowing that you don't even have a say against a creature of his caliber. he will find you. in your dreams, in your nightmares. in your room.

how he will be intense and vague about everything just for the sake of it; to confuse you further, to see the conflict of emotions in your eyes merge with arousal. eventually your hesitance turns into acceptance, a desperate need to feel his hands all over you. and he will be oh so grateful to fulfill that desire.

how his thick tongue pushes past your lips and into your mouth, reaching almost the back of your throat, relishing in the muffled little sounds you make. your drool mixed with his saliva drips down your chin, and your hazy eyes look up at him when he finally pulls away, giving you a second to breathe.

how his hips are slamming into you relentlessly, your wetness and lack of resistance allowing him to move almost effortlessly. forced to hold onto him for dear life instead of pushing away. all of your morals and principles are being tossed out of the window every single time he comes to you. he has you where he wants you, and will not stop until he feels like you can't take it anymore.

and how in the morning he vanishes away, leaving you guessing: was it just another wet dream? but the cold stickiness between your legs tells you more than you need to know.

[juicieboxart]

so aside from Ketheric, my bg3 "hear me out" is Sovereign Spaw. I mean. Goodness gracious. That itty bitty mushroom waist got me acting a fool.

anyways here's a perfectly wallpaper-shaped piece of my mushy beloved

[sunflowerzyk]

DRAGON X READER

(drable)

Contiene: Dragon X Fem!Reader, Monster Romance, Slow Burn, SFW (por ahora) .

You travel through a portal, To a stereotypical Medieval to fantasy era with all kinds of magical creatures and different mythologies, just myths in your previous life. Wonderful monsters in your eyes.

But you must continue to work even here, as an assistant to an elf apothecary who offered you work, sending you in search of ingredients where you cross paths with your next opportunity to explore new places. A dragon.

Version en Español

— Just get these plants, the map is in your bag, and there's the usual transportation.

That grumpy goblin muttered with little patience, pointing to the faucet that was a few meters away from the two of you. Sometimes-you wonder how that tiny body of your 'boss' can contain so much anger and bitterness without exploding into streamers and brightly colored paper.

— Roger that, ....

You hummed, with your boss in the palm of your hand you gently set him down on the window frame of his store. Opening the bag that hung at your side, pulling out the piece of paper, drawings of the herbs you needed to find with their names written carelessly in a language you knew very little of even now, your pronunciation was horrible.

You looked at everything out of the corner of your eye without giving it much thought next to the map<<snowy mountains>> you managed to decipher, your brow furrowed slightly.

— Will Comet reach those heights?

you asked hesitantly, glancing sideways at the griffin that was easily twice your height, before returning to your boss, who was frowning at you.

-—He will if he has a good rider.

He hissed, before turning and leaping out of the frame and into the hut. You were definitely hoping he'd explode into rainbow sparkles someday.

You let out a snort flying between amused and frustrated. Stashing the map and list in the bag again, adjusting the strap so it wouldn't fly off.

— Well boy...I guess it's you and me against this world.

You whispered, making an awkward attempt to climb into his saddle. It would be just like any other day of collecting. Just coming and going, following directions with no incidentals. Pulling on the straps of the griffin unfurling its massive wings, flying off in a northerly direction.

— She's not coming back.

Murmured your boss's wife, a little golden-haired, pointy-nosed elf with worry in her voice.

— If she's worthy to live she will, if she doesn't, it's one less burden for us, winter is near.

He muttered coldly.

— You could have given the job to someone else more capable.

— No one accepted, they're smart.

— So is she.

— But she trusted us.

Yes, a mistake, or a little nudge to a different story...

— Oh Shit!

You hiss, falling to the side of the griffin mount as you try to turn as if you were going to run away.

Everything was fine, Except for the torturous autumn winds whipping through the snowy mountains (no snow hard.

It was almost noon, there was an embracing sun that could not penetrate the strong winds at all. Although you had adequate clothing, a fur sweater, boots and pants to withstand the cold, the wind almost blew you off the road more than once.

Thanks to Comer your huge scream that broke the path of the blizzards you recorded it to sneak under it and collect those herbs you needed, too impressed with how resistant they were, hidden among the stones not to fly away.

But. a gale much stronger than the rest flanked your moaning stance as you pulled it up to take off on your return.

You were on the ground, wide-eyed.... watching him, him a fucking Dragon over four meters tall, the whole package complete with scales, teeth wings claws and piercing eyes that seemed to gnaw at your soul.

Your griffin immediately lowered its head in the dragon's presence, like a scolded little puppy. You no..... could not move and bow.

Since you arrived in this world you first asked for dragons, receiving mocking or accusatory looks from others in your direction. Everyone said they never left their territories. Caves or whatever you call them. Being extremely territorial, for you, a small human it would be better to be far away.

And now? You understood why.

Just stretching your head back painfully just to look at him.... or look directly into his eyes was uncomfortable.

You observe her features...you always had a thing for dragons in particular, perhaps a reverence or fascination for such elegantly terrifying and lethal creatures.

The Dragon. He watched you from his full height, you didn't know what he thought, he was probably like the others and was debating whether you were a dwarf, a deformed offspring of a giant or a fairy without pointed ears.

And it wasn't incorrect your guess, Because in his head, He was genuinely debating to find out your race and whether you were too stupid to understand that you should lower your head in his presence. Or very very very stupid to know that you weren't intimidating with...those huge eyes.... Staring at him.

<<What kind of a creature are you?>>

You asked yourself barking your head, leaning closer.

Immediately Comete stepped between the two of you, placing his body smaller than the grafin but larger than yours on top of you, still with his head down. But unable to be at ease without trying to protect you, the only rider who had any regard for him.

— Get out of the way.

growled the huge Dragon. It moved its huge armored paw toward Comet, wrapping it firmly around him and ripping him off of you. Throwing it over the edge of the mountain.

— Comet!

You gasped. Finally aware of your situation, seeing your transport being tossed around like it was nothing turned your stomach.

And hearing the Dragon's growl sent its considerable amount of electric shocks into you.

He turned his gaze immediately to you when he heard you speak, completely intrigued by the softer, squeakier sound of your voice in comparison to his own.

You quickly became mute without knowing what to do. Returning your attention to the huge dragon with a dry throat.

The Dragon was as anxious as you, finding a different creature wandering in its territory would merit death by incineration, but you were bold and did not lower your gaze no matter how fixed it looked at you....es interesting.

Until you break the silence,

Beginning with a quick introduction of your name, making a small bow in the mother tongue of that kingdom.

-

— I come in peace

You added with a tense jaw. Raising your hands in surrender.

<<....., little one, Foreigner with a terrible accent>>

He hummed in his head, moving a little closer to you, just a few centimeters.

When Comet comes back flapping awkwardly against the wind current that doesn't affect you because of the dragon's huge body and its wind-repelling body heat. Making you feel vapor in place.

— You are with life..... Comet!

You whisper excitedly, almost comically, prancing in its direction.

The dragon instead lets out a cloud of steam in your direction so that you shut your mouth. Glaring at the gryphon again, who stood with a firm composure, ready to protect you (try).

You didn't know you could be eaten because if Haci were the dragon he would have done it from minute one.

A small shiver ran through you as you returned your gaze to him and he to you.

The growl that came from deep in his chest and made his scales vibrate and the ground filled you completely, leaving you unable to stop looking at him again.

You left him captivated with your menacing stare.

[justaregularken]

Werewolf boyfriend who literally cannot physically get you pregnant still being obsessed with the idea of breeding you because you’re his~

[theoihalioistuff]

Orphic Persephone

"The daughter of Zeus, born of his mother Rhea who is also named Demeter, has two eyes in their natural place and two others in her forehead. In addition, she has the face of an animal on the back part of her neck, and horns as well. Hence Rhea, terrified at such a monster for a child, fled from her and withheld her breast [θηλη]. For this reason she is mystically called Athela [Ἀθηλᾶ] though more usually Persephone and Kore." ~ Athenagoras, Pro Christ. 20.2 (OF 82 II, 88 B = Orphic Fragment 58 Otto Kern)

~ full view for hd

I literally haven't drawn in over a year, but of course exam season is a good time to pick it up again. It's really inspired by @eleeza artwork, and though the veil makes no fucking sense (I didn't like the shape it made when it draped over the horns) I'm ultimately quite happy with it.

[garr9988]

Monster harem romance where the "self-insert(?)" human protagonist is actually a hugely manipulative and terrible person. They may get manhandled by the big strong monsters, but they know how to manipulate them and cut them to the quick to keep them under their heel. Maybe the monsters are tricked into seeing them as defenseless and sweet, or they're attracted by their savagery and capacity for cruelty. The monsters get a cute little plaything to own, and the human has a pack of lovestruck loyal pets under their control to use to their own ends.

A human, but yet another monster all the same.

[giyuulatte]

i feel like this is a great time to announce that i am a monster movie enthusiast. i LOVE monster and mecha movies!! godzilla, king kong, transformers, pacific rim, kaiju, alien, predator…GIMME IT ALL

[lycanlovebites]

I’m having normal thoughts about boys right now ok (I have a deep visceral need to hunt someone through the forest, nothing but the sound of him gasping and breaking through the brush with his heartbeat thrumming like an animal of its own in his chest and in my ears, my paws beating against the earth as I race after him, teeth clicking and practically foaming at the mouth at his scent. Just him and me in the dead of night. And when I finally catch him I pin him to the ground and fuck his brains out under the full moon <3 )

I can be left alone with a pretty guy in the middle of the night under a full moon. Yeah just leave him by the forest :) no yeah don’t worry abt it haha yeah I’m just gonna go out for a run :) it will be good for me and also him. Enrichment :) being hunted by a big werewolf counts as a couples exercise right

[poisonousquinzel]

DC vs. Vampires: All-Out War #6

idk I just think she's neat when she's drawn all scary 😳👉👈

[gone-fish-mode]

yall ever watch a movie with your kintype in it and just have to go LOOK MA IM ON TV!!!

[thedreadvampy]

like clockwork someone who's been openly a sex pest for decades gets named as a rapist and sexual predator and we all get to play the hit parade with such classics as:

oh my god oh my god did you know this industry full of rich people who are rewarded for exploitative and abusive behaviour...has an issue with rape and abuse??? CAN YOU BELIEVE THERE'S ABUSE IN THIS INDUSTRY???? (yeah man we know. we've known for quite a while actually. for longer than I've been alive for sure.)

oh my god I can't believe there are rapists among us (1 in 3 women have experienced rape, who do you think is doing it?)

but he seemed so nice! (not really tbh)

well I met him and he never raped me and like, I'm really hot so if he was really a rapist he would have (Jesus fuck get help)

is it really rape to fuck 16 year old girls when you're in your 30s? (yeah it is if you fucking rape them mate)

can't believe everyone knew but never said!!! (they literally did say and also hey imagine if you will what reasons there might be too not say anything, such as, say, it's not your story to tell and the victim had expressed a wish to not be at the centre of a whole shitstorm)

Real Victims wouldn't go to journalists they'd go to the cops!!! (hey guys I have some upsetting news about the experience of reporting rape to the cops)

This is a conspiracy to make this irrelevant celebrity look bad! (please touch grass)

it's all just a bit of fun innit (no)

and every time we all over again have to go to this place where rape is simultaneously a significant threat and common experience (agreed) but also everyone who's ever talked about being raped is lying, and nobody's ever done a rape even if there's 20 years of documented evidence and on camera confessions and also their whole public persona is 'cheeky sex pest' (fucking. what?)

and then that guy hopefully gets cancelled and people feel a bit more guilty about watching him. and then they'll go HOORAY THE EVIL IS DEFEATED WE HAVE GOT RID OF THAT GUY THAT DID THE RAPES. OUR WORK HERE IS DONE. COMEDY/FILM/MUSIC/TV IS FREE OF PREDATORS NOW

and then 6.5 seconds later allegations will come out about someone else and we will start the whole thing again from scratch OH MY GOD CAN YOU BELIEVE THERE'S ABUSE IN THIS INDUSTRY???

[show-us-kaidenshenandoah]

i think we need to switch up "hear me out" cakes to be multiple cakes

and your friends' reaction decides where your pick goes. like. they do "the council has decided to hear you out" type shit, y'know?? like. not on degrees of "we agree/disagree" but on the "this is a Hear Me Out/that is a Chronically Online take/that is a You Are Not Alone pick", you feel me?? i can say more

(also heads up: all my examples here are male. bc im building off what ive seen on people's cakes and most of "the spectrum" is men; bc a LOT of people's female hear-me-outs are just "a woman who is mid 30s or older" (who may be a lil kooky, like Eda Clawthorne from "Owl House") or be a female monster-fuckery example (like the female xenomorph from "Alien"). i've never seen an in-between in one of these cakes. the only one iiiii could think of was when 10 year-old me thought itd be cute to hold hands with (in a sapphic puppy-love way) or kiss the cheek of Eliza Thornberry from "The Wild Thornberries", but even then, i dont think Eliza is that weird for me to have crushed on as a kid??? anyway. if a wlw or "im not a girl but i like girls in a sapphic way" type or even a "im horny for women in a way that is not a cishetero white man's headspace" wants to help me by thinking of female equivalences for these following categories??? ill proverbially kiss your forehead. my brain is too dead rn, im also a two-spirited person who is kinda aroace (demi-romantic and very asexual) anyway, and im too focused on "Hollywood, do better" about the lack of spectrum for women to Actually Think Of The Rare Female Characters Who Do Fit This Overall Spectrum Of Items rn)

1️⃣: the main biggie is still the "hear me out" cake

in my opinion, these are ones where the creators themselves would be shocked you liked them (eg. me when i was 11 and going all 👉👈 about the headless cockroach from "Growing Up Creepie" or, y'know what, fuck it, the number 5. not Numbuh 5 from "KND", but the literal number 5 in mathematics. give me absurdism). and i say "creators" bc there shouldnt be irl humans here; bc thats either mean bc its based on looks (stop putting Steve Carrell in there) or its "buddy?? this just killed the mood" (like irl serial killers and shit, like, "no, no, save that for your therapist, no"). so we are predominantly looking at fictional, animated (2D, CGI, comics, illustrated, etc), puppets, masked, heavy make-up, that kinda thing okay?? not just a literal irl person and their face. that just feels mean (why! have i seen!! Steve Carrell! four different times!! guys!!! he's a real person who other real people can look like, that could hurt his or someone's feelings in a big way, wtf!) plus also some absurdism (again, the number 5, but maybe also planets? like Planet X would be on par with the number 5 to me of baffling but "...y'know what? i'll hear you out. sell me on this" lmao)

but again, that's irl humans. so it can be fictional Regular Humans (they just, i guess, gotta be very heinous to be a Regular Human yet qualify for this) (eg. Chris McLean from "Total Drama Island". bc my friends heard me out during a ppt of Weird Childhood (+ Some Lifelong) Crushes i did where one slide was the "Growing Up Creepie" cockroach with snorts and snickers, but still. and then i changed slides to Chris and they screamed and did a (joking) impromptu intervention for me bc of that, even tho *i* think Chris McLean should be one of the two other cakes im about to mention. but i have been out-voted), it can be costumed actors (eg. a live-action "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle" of your choice, the Ferryman from "Annabelle Comes Home", the logo of the Quaker Oats guy, or MAYBE Moe from "The Doodlebops") where there's a spectrum of "that's a guy and his face" and enough make-up where you're like "okay, this hear me out has nothing to do with the facial features here being considered 'ugly' or unconventional"

but just: overall the Appearance Fuckery is either "has no intention of making this person/creature/thing remotely attractive" (eg. i seriously doubt the number 5 was designed to "be hot" lol) OR "they are actively trying to make this person not-hot and not-cool on purpose" (eg. the giant headless cockroach from "Growing Up Creepie", he's not supposed to be hot or cool, he's just kinda there lol but i guess you could also argue like.. idk, im thinking of how Robert Pattison did a very unattractive voice while acting as the Grey Heron of "The Boy & The Heron". like, youre not supposed to find the Heron attractive or cool or anything, i think lmao). that's the point here. at least to me

2️⃣: the other is "normal: but chronically online take" cake, it is the middle one of this trio i am pitching

in my mind, this is the category where "someone put effort to make this character seem attractive or cool or likable beyond their actions"... but they're also unconventional as a pick, it's "not a 'normie' choice" to make (no derogatory intent to "normies" btw)

so this is where we get into shit like the Green Goblin from the Toby McGuire "Spider-man" movies, specifically his robo-suit. sure, the suit may not be rom-com-attractive to look at, and, sure, he may be written sympathetically so audiences have affection for them (moreso Osborn with how they made him scared of himself and clueless to the harm he has caused, but close enough); but that robo-suit WAS made to look COOL. it was made to be liked and gotten toys and posters of, and a person having a crush on the Green Goblin in the robo-suit is a "normal: but chronically online take" in my mind. does that make sense?? bc im adding John Silver from "Treasure Planet" up there too, bc it's Disney and he was meant to be likeable (to betray Jim, yeah, but still), he was not meant to be a romantic lead, but he was drawn and characterized to be likable. that's just a fat man that's a cyborg and a little bit alien; and he's hot. he's a normal person to like, in my mind

but this category as a whole would be me vaguely Getting why some "normies" would scream "nO, YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS" at the pitch, yet also knowing all of my fellow chronic online buddies would approve of the same pitch. like, the chronically online just heard "goblin robot suit" and "anti-hero dad-figure fat cyborg pirate" be upheld as a "hear me out" and would respond like "ah, good choice, mmhm, yes" like we were discussing wine. but like. then my friends wouldve paused and gone like "....not weird enough to be a 'hear me out' tho". like?? as if it's objectively true or a Basic Bitch take? (my chronically online brethern: it's not. lmao it just is a Basic Bitch take to our niche, it's Fucking Weird outside of us)

so it's that in-between of "would be Freak Behavior to any hypothetical 'normie', but would not be to anyone chronically online". so the 1️⃣ category would be where both "normie" and the chronically online are going "pARDON??? HUH?" to the same extreme degree. but this one, 2️⃣, is where it's a more lower-level mix. like maybe some chronically online are going "hUH??" while some are going "oh, yeah, obviously"; but for the most part, this is "normies" go "HUH?" and chronically online go "this is an objectively agreed upon take, not a 'hear me out' pitch". idk, i hope that makes sense. like. maybe some more examples would help, we already discussed two, but we can do more. the two i just did were examples of "not THE most 'obviously yeah' takes for the chronically online" because i wanted to start us in on the logic of why they would count here (at least, to me) so then these next ones can be a "ooooh, yeah, i can see what you mean now", you feel me?

bc, yeah, obligatory "yes but that's obviously objective and not a 'hear me out' pitch" to Kovu from "Lion King II", yes, Nick Wilde from "Zootopia", yes, Robin Hood fox from Disney's "Robin Hood", yes, Gil from "Finding Nemo", yes, Garrus from "Mass Effect", etc, etc, again, they were made to be a romantic lead and/or made to be cool. so, to me, liking them is very normal. and, again, i get that it only is a "yes OBVIOUSLY tho" in ✨️a chronically online✨️ way. but i think most other chronically online people would agree like "yes, weird to 'normies'; but not us" and i think both the "normies" and the More Newly Chronically Online could follow the logic since we just broke down how Green Goblin's robo-suit and alien-cyborg John Silver might be More Unusual Picks but same logic of "made to be liked in some way, ergo Liking Them Like That is not actually that weird". you feel me??

like the creators of these fictional guys would go "oh!! oh, that makes sense, yeah, okay, didnt intend that but nice!" you feel me?? like the spectrum goes from "wHAT?!! ...actually, y'know what, i see it" to "odd choice, but also?? of course". am i making sense?

like you could put your unconventionally attractive people here if they dont quite fit (or fit at all, potentially) with the next cake. like, i wouldnt be mad if the the Purple Wiggle from the original "The Wiggles" group went here, y'know?? like, yes, the Purple Wiggle breaks my "please have it be animated or a puppet or a mask or have heavy make-up, so we arent just potentially arguing about facial features of an irl human (bc that's mean)" rule technically. but thats enough of a "hUH?? i mean yeah buT HUH????" that i, for one, would forgive it and let the Purple Wiggle be on this cake. because it's not about his face or appearance: it's a "hUH??" because he is a fucking Wiggle, so that's what makes him unconventional. does that make sense?? like the "....fucking way way out of left-field, but Yeah Okay" type "unconventials" rather than "well yEAH" like Milo Thatch from "Atlantis" or Roger Dearly from "101 Dalmations" who would be on the next cake (instead of this one), for me, personally)

3️⃣: and the last one (as far as i can think of it, and this one would really be a cupcake or a one-person-serving of cake bc your goal is the other two. this one shouldn't have too many people on it, so you skimp out on this cake for sure) is like the council deciding "normal: not as weird as you think, you're not alone at all" cake. not a "you're basic" tho, but that this pick is more popular with society than the person realizes it is

first of all: this is not a "punishment cake" of "nope, doesnt count". i just vote it be the smallest cake bc it will, ideally, have the least amount of people in it compared to maybe the other two. but yeah, it should be a "no, thats such a valid take, i think it should go on the 'youre not alone' cake", y'know?? like, this cake's purpose isnt to knock someone down, its to be like "omg dude i have so many tiktok thirst edits of this character to show you after this" or "there should be so many more of this guy, this has to be objectively True That This Person Is Attractive, i think we as a society just agree via osmosis, we dont need to hear you out, we need to let you into the discussions about them, let's set up a text-channel on discord about them" type of 🌈realization🌟 okay?? bc the moment anyone is mean about someone trying to be vulnerable and silly online, im rescinding my pitch for this cake. cool? cool

this is for the people who put on Stiles Stilinski from "Teen Wolf" and just... buddy, idk if you actually read the assignment. Dylan O'Brien who plays Stiles Stilinski is an attractive man, like who needs to "hear you out" on this?? im confused? let me show you how MANY MANY MANY edits and fan-art that man has, even with his head shaved. like. im not mad you picked him, he's an attractive guy, sure, why not. i just am surprised if someone maybe teased you to the point of bullying to have thought this was a "hear me out" and not a "oh, yeah, well, of course, that much is obvious". like. that's fucked up if someone made fun of you for Dylan O'Brien (or Steve Carrell since i mentioned him before. and, really, all irl people go on this cake. hell, i wouldn't be surprised if the Purple Wiggle ended up on this cake after some council deliberation and after the surprise of "The Wiggles" name-drop had calmed down). but also, like, someone bond with the two tiktokers i saw pick Dylan O'Brien and show them fanfic of Stiles and thirst edits of his role in "Teen Wolf", preferably while the said tiktokers gets to giggle with ice-cream and a cozy blanket, bc they deserve to have known about the outpour of love their pitch has had, they do not deserve mocking or hatred for their pitches, bc they didnt know what they didnt know

but also i think kind of most fictional characters who are Main Characters + Have A Romantic Interest go here, even if theyre slightly unconventionally attractive, like i said with Milo Thatch of "Atlantis" and Roger Dearly of "101 Dalmations". maybe a different group of friends would decide otherwise, but if i was in your tiktok?? "not as weird as you think" cake for sure for Milo and Roger. like. id also put some "odd choice but yeah" that are not SUPER out of left-field here, like i saw someone put on a couple of people who are Fright Actors that have gone viral. and im like "..out of left-field for sure, but part of why they went viral is bc they are conventionally attractive 9 times out of 10", you get me?? does that make sense? like i saw someone say "the grandpa from the 'Johnny Tsunami' movies" and that's out of left-field and there's no thirst edits of him (as far as im aware), but also i would say "not as weird as you think, actually"

like. the boundaries are nebulous and group-dependent, but i just think itd be fun and itd be a cool spin that also will get some comments to shut up about what is/isnt a "hear me out" cake. bc i agree some of these "hear me out" cakes dont have enough of group 1️⃣ (for me), and are instead all 2️⃣ and 3️⃣ (for! me!!); but also sometimes people just are unaware and haven't been "let into the room" to know how popular and/or objectively acceptable their pick is, and i dont wanna shame people for that lack of awareness, that's mean. instead, get excited for them like "omg i have so much to show you!" or "we NEED to talk after this video bc hard-same but nobody else is talking about it, i feel like!!" y'know??

but, yeah, that's my compromise/pitch lmao

[tusks-and-claws]

my writer's block? took a vacation. the prose? flowing

[deceptive-daydreams]

on another note...cannot figure out if im a monster fucker or not