#following skeletor on twitter was a good move

[forgottenbones]

18, financially stable, just bought a house. What have you done 😎 pic.twitter.com/7kIRLFiC5g

— Ms. Boombastic (@kaaatelewis) 16 febbraio 2018

Had my entire face burnt off with acid, raised an army of powerful minions on my own, took over as ruler of Snake Mountain, won Butlins Minehead knobbly knees competition in 1984 and can fit 28 Pringles in my mouth in one go. https://t.co/M6KBH4dqFl

— Skeletor (@GrumpySkeletor) 22 febbraio 2018

[theliterateape]

We Killed Jason Todd

By Matt Markman

In 1988 my friends and I killed a kid.

He was just a boy really. We had help it wasn’t just me and my pals. there were adults involved, lots of them. I mean we were young we were just thirteen and really couldn’t comprehend the ramification of our actions, the adults knew what they were doing. I’m painting it to sound way more sinister than it was, and in today’s society, wouldn’t trend on Twitter but maybe in the ’80s, it was probably considered quite ominous.

To set your mind at ease, it was Jason Todd. You know, Batman's sidekick, The Boy Wonder, Robin—well, the second Robin anyways. And I helped kill him.

I was big into comic books but my favorite was, The Dark Knight, The Caped Crusader, The Batman… He donned the best costume, he had all the money and was the most intelligent of all the superheroes. That last trait right there, the fact that he was considered a superhero and he had no actual super powers made him cooler than the other side of the pillow. You know how The Big Bang Theory has convinced the world it’s an Emmy-winning sitcom worth watching? I think it’s the fact that Batman was someone any one of us could actually be. Sure we needed to start with a base coat of genius followed by a splash of handsome billionaire playboy then train overseas in martial arts for several years, but if you had those things you, too, could be a vigilante. You ask me today and I'd stand by the fact that Batman would beat Superman in a fight, say ten out of ten times. This is not debatable because super beings from another planet are not real.

My favorite thing about Batman, though, is his ability to balance out good and evil. He spawned one of the greatest comic book villains and fictional characters ever created, The Joker. They have tried and tried again but in my opinion never got close to the Clown Prince of Crime—maybe Negan from The Walking Dead, he's pretty ruthless. The Joker is what would happen if a stand-up comedian became a criminal mastermind, so basically the plot of the 2019 film Joker.

My love for Joker made sense because growing up I was always more into the bad guys than the good guys. Watching and playing with G.I.Joe, I was always on the side of Cobra Commander, the twins Tomax and Xamot, and Zartan because they were always more glamorous and eye-catching than the boring ass Joes. Just once, I’d like that “knowing is half the battle” part at the end of the cartoon to have been Storm Shadow giving us kids a tip on how to fuck up Shipwreck and his stupid Parrot. Megatron, Skeletor, Shredder, Mumm-ra…

The list goes on, but the antagonists always resonated with me. they had a much better and more intriguing agenda than the good guys did. I know that wasn't the purpose, we were supposed to cheer on the good guys, like the idea of saving the world and all, but the mayhem… It’s like Alfred Pennyworth said, “Some men just want to watch the world burn.” It’s odd because the bad guys in my life were real, the bullies and I didn't like them at all. They tormented me daily unprovoked because I was short and had big ears. Perhaps my love for the dark side stemmed for my desire to be on that side because in real life there was no Superman swooping in to rescue me from the clutches of Lex Luthor. 

There were two sides, and good had a lack of champions looking out for the weaker, smaller good guys. The bad guys in my neighborhood, well, they were real and never really foiled and more importantly, they always got the girl in the end. Fuck the good guys!

My admiration for evildoers achieving their agenda was tested in 1988, Batman was running a four-part series called A Death in the Family. It was your typical Batman arc. Somehow, The Joker was going to get the upper hand on The World’s Greatest Detective only to be bested in the end by Batman. But this time, the third comic decided to do something nobody had never seen in the industry. The writers were going to give the fans the opportunity to decide where they were going to go with the story, only it was an option between two different roads, one quite unconventional. Apparently a few years earlier, one of the writers, Dennis O'Neil, had seen a sketch they did on SNL where Eddie Murphy held up a Lobster—Larry the Lobster—and was asking viewers to decide whether Larry was boiled and eaten or was to be set free. The choices were offered in the form of two phone numbers both costing fifty cents a call. One number was a vote for him to be freed and the other number was a vote for Larry to be murdered, smothered in butter, and devoured by Axel Foley. Ultimately, after nearly 500,000 calls, the people voted for Larry the lovable lobster to be pardoned with a 12,000 call margin. The popularity of this bit intrigued O'Neil and A few years later he decided to implement it in his Death in The Family storyline.

In the third book, The Joker had taken Batman's sidekick, the Boy Wonder, hostage. He’d beaten him bloody with a crowbar leaving a cliffhanger to be wrapped up in the fourth book. The last page of the comic was full page and at the top read in true ’80s Do the Right Thing fashion: “Robin will die because The Joker wants revenge, but you can prevent it with a telephone call!” They even phrased it to steer you down the hero’s path, like you can literally be Batman with one phone call. Underneath the imploring verbiage were two numbers, dial one number; The Joker fails and Robin lives, Batman would once somehow saves the day. However, call this other number and The Joker succeeds and Robin dies. Gruesomely.

Wow! They were going to let the fans decide the fate of Robin, really this was one of my earliest introductions to a reality voting competition type show. In my opinion, it was a bad idea. Robin was always the worst. Go back and read through an adventure or two involving Jason Todd and tell me he wasn't always whiney and bellyaching. He was never going to be iconic or cool like Bruce Wayne or even his predecessor Dick Grayson—the first Robin. See, Dick got pissed off, decided he was tired of being in Batman's shadow, ditched the Robin costume, threw on a black blue and gold costume, moved to another city and became Nightwing. Dick was a go getter, ambitious. Grayson’s Robin was a winner, Todd's Robin was an irritating little bitch; he was not an innocent lobster.

I went to my mother and asked if I could make a call that was going to cost just fifty cents and I would pay her back or she could just take it out of my allowance. She wanted to know what it was for and mostly wanted to confirm it wasn't for an adult sex line, which costs more than fifty cents a minute, but that’s a different story. It was nothing as tawdry as phontercourse, I just wanted to help murder an annoying teenage sidekick. My mother response was “Oh, yeah, that’s fine.”

I think after it was exposed that it wasn't phone sex anything else I said went in one ear and out the other, surely she didn't think I was actually voting for a plucky comic book sidepiece to be murdered by The Joker. So that’s what I did. I cast my vote along with a majority of DC comic book fans that shared my detest for the boy wonder. Ten thousand votes were recorded with a narrow margin going to Robin dying. I think the writers never suspected that fans would go that route.

O’Neal himself voted for Robin’s stay of execution. A man of his word, Batman issue #429 was released and Robin was killed by The Joker in an explosion and we were to blame for it. Sad to say but you give a bunch of comic book nerds the power I think it would go bad every time. That day we were all proud to be The Joker's henchmen. I felt like a soldier at the end of Star Wars cheering madly while The Joker received his metal shouting, “I helped that happen!”

So many shows these days embrace our fascination with the anti-hero with the success of The Sopranos, The Shield, Breaking Bad, hell Narcos had me rooting for Pablo Escobar—Pablo fucking Escobar. I wouldn't say I was a bad person growing up. Quite the contrary, I was a shy nerd with no power to do anything but pick my books up after they were smacked to the ground. What I’m saying is don't give me the power to make important life or death decisions with your franchise because myself and the other dorks will have the bodies of Orko, Snarf, and Jimmy Olson lying in a shallow grave, just tell me what number to dial… or text.

Matt started performing standup comedy in 2004 in Las Vegas and is now a regular at every major comedy club on the Las Vegas strip. He released his first comedy album in 2016 titled Uncut available on iTunes. More about Matt and his upcoming appearances can be found on MattMarkman.com.

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #493

Top Ten Classic Cartoons that Deserve Gritty Netflix Sequels

Last month I watched Masters of the Universe: Revelation on Netflix, a show which seemed to generate a lot of virtual column inches in the geek-sphere. A modern update of a beloved childhood classic, it positioned itself as a direct sequel to the forty-year-old cartoon starring He-Man and Skeletor; it was chock-full of Big Talent (Luke Skywalker! Cersei Lannister! Buffy the Vampire Slayer!), and boasted none other than Kevin Smith as the showrunner. Expectation was skyrocketing; sectors of Twitter were foaming at the mouth in anticipation. But even before it dropped, knives were out, the show crucified on the Golgotha of “Culture Wars” for the temerity of making Teela – who is a girl – the ostensible protagonist. As it was, I remained unmoved prior to release; I bloody loved He-Man back in the day, but times move on and tastes change, and my affection for it now is consigned to enjoying just how hilariously, dopily camp the whole thing is. There’s a guy with a metal face called “Trap-Jaw”. Someone has three eyes and is called “Tri-Clops”. There’s a human battering ram called “Ram-Man”. There’s a bloke whose whole deal is one of his hands is quite big, and his name is “Fistor”.

“Fistor”.

By the way, if you’re a crying manbaby whose entire existence is defined by remembering a twenty-minute toy advert produced four decades ago which had as its figurehead a topless man with furry knickers and a terrible haircut, then I’ve got bad news for you: the show actually doubles down and manages to kill He-Man twice. I’m not gonna lie, having watched it after learning about the brouhaha, I found that hilarious.

But that’s not what I’m here to talk about this week. No, what I want to discuss is that I was not excited by the show. I wanted to be, but I just didn’t care, because She-Ra and the Princesses of Power exists, and that is how you update an old show for a modern audience. Revelation, on the other hand, looked like it was trying to make a grim and gritty version of the old Masters of the Universe, in exactly the same style more or less, but with updated techniques, animation, acting, and violence. This initial impression of mine was a bit unfair, but also a bit justified; the show is better than I expected, giving us a pretty decent arc to follow and reinventing or reimagining the characters in new and interesting ways. But my big concern remains: who is this for? It’s not really narratively interesting or sophisticated enough to be an “adult” programme, and whilst its level of violence and tone is beyond what you’d expect for an out-and-out kids’ show, it’s basically on a par with your average MCU movie. That’s fine, but why would a teenager care? It doesn’t really do a good job – or, let’s be honest, make any attempt – at explaining who these characters are, why the world is the way it is, and why we should care what happens to He-Man or Eternia. And it’s all so damn serious, when the original show was goofy as heck. Wasn’t it? I don’t remember it being especially serious even when I was a kid. Maybe I was a bit too young. I dunno, I just think Masters of the Universe – with its hokey marriage of fantasy tropes and random bits of sci-fi – is such a strange show to attempt to graft a gritty post-apocalyptic narrative onto. Where’s the camp? Where’s the silliness? Where’s the fun? There’s something so weird and uncanny about turning Tri-Clops into a cult leader, or giving Merman a sick facial scar that’s cost him an eye. It’s like when Rupert Bear shows up in League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, except that was meant to be funny.

So yeah, the show is fine; good, even. I genuinely liked it, especially the performances, especially Lena Headey and Sarah Michelle Gellar. But I’m baffled as to the thought that went into it (other than “we own the IP and would like to make money”) and I hope it remembers it used to be fun when it returns later this year.

Another Netflix show that I’ve been watching is the latest (and final, I think) part of their War for Cybertron trilogy of Transformers series. Now, Transformers is a funny one too, because that’s a franchise that also takes itself seriously quite a bit, but I don’t really have a problem with it as long as it’s not too grim (as in most of the live-action movies, which are not only grim but stupid). Maybe this is because the relatively-serious animated movie came along quite early in the franchise’s lifespan; maybe it’s because the comics have, for decades, walked a fine line between goofy adventure and overwrought melodrama. But all the same, this War for Cybertron trilogy is – like Revelation – way too serious for its own good. It tries to echo the old animated series at every turn, with most of the cast seemingly doing impressions of the eighties voice actors, but marries that to a fairly grim war story. I don’t think it’s entirely successful – in fact, I think Revelation is a better, more enjoyable show – but it’s not quite as discordant for me. I’m not sure why.

Anyway, that’s a ridiculously long preamble. All I wanted to say, was that there’s this penchant now for doing far-too-serious, grim and gritty adaptations of beloved childhood properties form yesteryear. What else could we pluck from the IP graveyard to render in dark tones and with sombre music, while we kill beloved childhood characters? Funny you should ask…

M.A.S.K. (1985-88): an opening battle featuring all our favourites from the classic cars-that-turn-into-slightly-weirder-looking-cars series is a bigger, grittier clash than ever before: beloved household names such as Boris “The Czar” Bushkin, Bruno “Mad Dog” Sheppard, and – tragically – Jacques “Trailblazer” LeFleur all perish in the conflict. Our heroes sacrifice themselves to put an end to Miles Mayhem and the entire Vicious Evil Network Of Mayhem. Flash forward to a despondent Scott Trakker – son of Matt, the leader of Mobile Armored Strike Kommand – who must build a new team when V.E.N.O.M. resurfaces, this time as an online conspiracy that’s brainwashing the populace. With M.A.S.K. branded a terrorist organisation by President Warfield, can young Trakker fight back? His cute little robot dies horribly in episode three.

Inspector Gadget (1983-86): Penny is all grown up and a fully-qualified inspector, just like her uncle. But no one takes her seriously because of her strange past; she’s a bit of a slob, can’t maintain a relationship, and has crazy ideas about Dr. Claw and M.A.D. resurfacing. She’s also built a robot dog to replace Brains. When a series of high-tech crimes are committed using technology from thirty years ago, she can only turn to one man for help: disgraced and decommissioned Inspector Gadget, a washed-up drunk whose gadgets no longer function correctly. Together they investigate this new Claw, and mend their familial relationship. Features Kristen Bell as the voice of Penny and Will Ferrell as Gadget.

The Raccoons (1985-92): deforestation has reduced the Evergreen Forest to a fraction of its size. Tommy and Julie, fully-grown children of original forest ranger Dan, barely remember their childhood with the Raccoons. And, deep in the forest, married raccoons Ralph and Melissa, and their kids, try their best to keep their animal friends safe. All of these people come together to make one last journey to the heart of the forest, to the old factory run by Cyril Sneer, to save what’s left of their environment. Along the way they search for their lost friend Bert, who always brought the best out in everyone. Eventually, as they find Bert and make their way to the factory, they find that Cyril is long retired, and his formerly-progressive son Cedric is now in charge… see, it’s all about climate change, and capitalism, and losing our ideals, and… yeah, you get it.

Jem (1985-88): the world of pop has changed: thanks to mass-market Synergy holograms, synthetic bands are all the rage. But as evil conglomerate Stinger Inc. buys out media space the world over, former Hologram Kimber Benton – now a high school music teacher – remembers the old days with fondness. It’s only when old rival Pizzazz, of the Misfits, comes back into her life, is she given the spark to build a new band – and find her sister, find Jem – and give the 21st century a dose of authentic, er, manufactured synth-pop. Look, it’d be a little bit satirical, I guess.

Adventures of the Gummi Bears (1985-91): it is the present day. The forest where Gummi-Glen once stood is now the centre of a bustling town. The tree itself stands alone in an inner-city park; inside, two teens from different backgrounds find the last remaining Gummis, kept alive in suspended animation. Upon waking, these bears must get to the lost Gummi city of Ursalia, where the Gummiberries still grow. They journey with the two human kids (descendants, it turns out, of the kids from the show) seek salvation for the Gummis. But evil businessman Lord Igthorn is in pursuit, as he seeks fulfil his own ancestor’s quest of using Gummiberry Juice to become superhuman. The final battle of humans and bears! Not everyone will make it out alive! Starring Richard E. Grant as Igthorn.

The Wuzzles (1985): that gang from the old cartoon are still here, a little older, a little wiser. But there’s a shock in store when, after a drunken reunion party, Bumblelion and Hoppopotamus wake up in bed together! Then it turns out Hoppo is pregnant and the resultant baby is half bee, half lion, half rabbit, half hippo. What will this mean for our band of heroes? And for larger Wuzzle society? How do Wuzzles reproduce anyway? Y’know what, you’re right; this does sound like an absolutely flat-out terrible Robot Chicken sketch.

SuperTed (1982-86): Blotch, Spotty’s now-adult sister, comes to Earth to look for SuperTed, as she needs his help back on planet Spot. But SuperTed is missing! She goes to see Mother Nature, who is sick, maybe dying, because of the climate and that. They track Ted down, but he’s forgotten his Secret Magic Word! Texas Pete stole it in their final battle. So, armed with the severed head of Skeleton, they go to find Pete, rescue the Magic Word, and save Planet Spot. Spoiler: there WAS no magic word! It’s all in his head! He just needed to get his confidence back! Awww. Features the voice of Alan Carr as Skeleton.

The Get Along Gang (1984): the Get Along Gang all played together in a clubhouse in an old disused railway carriage. But that was years ago! Now they’ve all grown up, gotten married, divorced, had kids, come out, suffered bereavements… but by a curious coincidence, their kids discover the “Clubhouse Caboose” and become the new Get Along Gang. But can they get their now long-since estranged parents to put aside their differences and the weight of years to reunite the old Get Along Gang, in time to save the local woodland from deforestation and developers? A melancholy dramedy about the passage of time and our lost idealism, as well as the hope for the next generation.

Paw Paws (1985-86): the Paw Paws are, get this, Native American bears. It’s not the most nuanced depiction of Native American life. This show catches up with the gang many years later, when we find that invading wolves with superior technology have been at war with the Paw Paws, driving them into new lands, where they’re forced to live in communities beset by crime and poverty, trying to eke out a living on the thin strips of land and in the few businesses the United Wolf Pack allows. See, it’s a metaphor.

Captain Planet and the Planeteers (1990-92): Returning to Earth after many years away, Captain Planet is shocked to discover that deforestation continues apace, that global temperatures are skyrocketing, sea levels are rising, many species of animal – including some vital to the overall survival of life on earth – are seriously endangered, and basically everything’s just gone to hell. No one seems to care, and despite thirty years of warnings, no government has made meaningful attempts to mitigate the crisis. With fires raging and lands flooding, people are displaced, leading to growing refugee crises around the world, and nations stand poised on the brink of war. Nah, you’re right, this is far too unrealistic and way too bleak.

[wp-yahoo-style-1042-yahoopa-blog]

Ryan Reynolds opening up about his anxiety has the power to help millions of sufferers

Ryan Reynolds gives off the air of a fun-loving, easygoing guy. But in a new interview, the Deadpool star reveals that he struggles with anxiety — a condition he’s had for years.

“I have anxiety, I’ve always had anxiety,” he tells the New York Times. “Both in the lighthearted ‘I’m anxious about this’ kind of thing, and I’ve been to the depths of the darker end of the spectrum, which is not fun.” Reynolds says that to this day, he becomes incredibly nauseated and nervous before any talk show appearance, and  when he was on the ABC sitcom Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place, he used to warm up the audience to help redirect his panic.

Ryan Reynolds attends the press conference for a premiere of Deadpool 2 on May 2, 2018, in Seoul, South Korea.

Reynolds also revealed that in his 20s, he often woke up in the middle of the night “paralyzed” by anxiety and worrying about his future, which he got through by self-medicating.

Now, he says, he copes with his anxiety in a few ways. While promoting Deadpool 2, he’s been doing a lot of interviews in character to help calm his nerves. He also uses the meditation app Headspace and reminds himself that as soon as he walks onstage, he won’t feel anxious anymore. “When the curtain opens, I turn on this knucklehead, and he kind of takes over and goes away again once I walk off set,” he said. “That’s that great self-defense mechanism. I figure if you’re going to jump off a cliff, you might as well fly.”

Reynolds isn’t the only male star to open up about mental health lately: The Rock recently revealed his struggle with depression in an interview with the Express. After a fan thanked him on Twitter, the Rock responded with this:

Hey man I get it. We all go thru the sludge and shit. Stay strong and make sure you’re talking to good people about it. Us men have a tendency to hold it in. No shame in getting help and wanting to be better.

— Dwayne Johnson (@TheRock) April 2, 2018

Anxiety disorders are the most common mental disorder in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults (18 percent of the population), according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. Anyone can develop anxiety, but a person’s genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events can put that person at a greater risk, according to the association.

Having an anxiety disorder is different from having “regular” anxiety, which everyone experiences, Simon Rego, PsyD, chief psychologist at Montefiore Medical Center/Albert Einstein College of Medicine, tells Yahoo Lifestyle. “It’s the same thing, but on a spectrum,” he says. Everyone has to deal with anxiety as an emotion, and it can be helpful when it alerts people to danger and helps them prepare for situations. But anxiety becomes a disorder when the level is so intense that it disrupts or interferes with someone’s daily activities, he says. “You can’t work, you can’t socialize, you can’t function at all.”

Both men and women struggle with anxiety disorders, but it can sometimes be more difficult for men to admit they need help and seek it, licensed clinical psychologist Alicia H. Clark, PsyD, tells Yahoo Lifestyle. “That’s true for probably all mental health issues,” she says. “While I do see men, I have much more women in my caseload. That’s pretty typical.”

Clark says it probably comes down to a few things: Men, in general, don’t tend to be as willing to see doctors as women, and the stigma of mental health issues and seeking treatment can be stronger for men.

It’s important for men (and women) to realize that it’s OK to struggle, Mayra Mendez, PhD, LMFT, tells Yahoo Lifestyle. Mendez is a licensed psychotherapist and program coordinator for intellectual and developmental disabilities and mental health services at Providence Saint John’s Child and Family Development Center in Santa Monica, Calif.  If you have a loved one who you suspect is grappling with anxiety, Mendez recommends validating the experiences (don’t dismiss the person with sayings like “it’s no big deal!” or “don’t worry!”). When there is evidence that your loved one’s anxiety is interfering with that person’s life or work, look for treatment options together. Ultimately, people will have to seek help on their own, but you can help guide the process and be supportive about it, she says.

Luckily, there are treatments available. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), a form of psychotherapy that helps people change negative thoughts and behavior, is considered the best treatment for anxiety, licensed clinical psychologist John Mayer, PhD, author of Family Fit: Find Your Balance in Life, tells Yahoo Lifestyle. With CBT, people are taught long-lasting coping mechanisms to help them deal with their anxiety, he says. The treatment is, generally, short-term and can help people move on with their lives, Rego says. In some cases, medication like selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) can be helpful as well, Rego says.

If you struggle with anxiety, seek help and don’t wait. “Anxiety can escalate and stay escalated if you don’t know how to de-escalate it,” Clark says. That can lead to health issues like heart problems, nervous system issues, and headaches, to name a few, Mayer says.

Clark applauds Reynolds for speaking out about his anxiety. “One more celebrity out there being honest helps so many other people be brave,” she says.

Read more from Yahoo Lifestyle: 

Parkland mom paid $36K for a flight to see her deceased son

Sarah Hyland reveals she weighs 87 pounds: ���Skeletor party of 1’ 

Badass tourist punched a man in the face for sexually harassing her in Ireland

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