#followed immediately by one that makes you go 'what the fuck'

[holeforzenin]

Domestic Toji, they have a baby together + breeding

It’s still dark when you blink awake—just barely because you were stirred by the faint cries echoing from the baby monitor sitting at your nightstand but Toji’s already up.

You feel the mattress shift and hear the soft pad of his feet on the floor, and the quiet click of the nursery door. No groaning, no grumbling or anything. Just a tired sigh and then that low voice so gentle, it tugs at something deep in your chest.

“Shh, shh... daddy’s here, don’t cry angel”.

You should go help but you don’t—not because you’re lazy, but because he’s got it.

He always does.

You lie there in the warm imprint of his body, half-asleep and aching just a little. Not just from hormones or how tender your breasts feel when you’re ovulating, but from the way he cares. The way he talks to your daughter like she’s the most precious thing he’s ever held. The way his voice softens just for her and for you.

By the time he returns, she’s asleep again and so are you—pretending to be, at least. You feel the dip of the bed, the shift of his weight, and then his hand sneaks under the covers to rest on your hip. Just a casual touch. He’s tired, and probably planning to pass right out.

But your body has other ideas.

You roll over slowly, still mostly under the blanket, one leg sliding over his thigh as you brush your lips against his jaw in a light peck. “You’re such a good dad,” your breath warm as you whisper against his skin. “Makes me wanna do bad things”.

Toji chuckles, his voice still husky and deep with sleep. “You serious? Right now?”

You nod, your lips trailing down his throat. “You got up at four in the morning to hold her. Changed her. Rocked her back to sleep. You have no idea what that does to me”

His hand tightens on your thigh as his voice drops in a teasing whisper. “Yeah? You ovulating again, baby?”

You nod against his chest as you inhale his scent. “Mhm. You wanna fill me up before the sun comes up?”

“Climb on,” he says, already pushing the blanket down to his hips, and already half-hard just from your voice and how needy you are.

You straddle him slowly, your cunt’s already wet and practically fluttering around nothing as you teasingly rub the warm, leaky head of his cock between your slick folds. It’s sleepy and lazy but so full of passion. You slowly sink down till he’s buried to the hilt before moving your hips in smooth, slow rolls, at first. His hands immediately plant themselves on your ass and grips it—fingers digging into the soft flesh like he’s desperate to leave marks.

“My poor baby,” he coos while watching you bounce on his cock in the dim pre-dawn light. “So needy for your husband and the sun isn’t even up yet”

“Can’t help it,” you gasp, your walls squeezing around him like you’re clinging on for dear life. “You’re so good, Toji. With her, with me. Makes me wanna give you another one”.

He groans at that, his hips now bucking up into you to meet yours as he stares at your face with half-lidded eyes of love and adoration. “You keep talking like that and you’ll get exactly what you want, darling. M’not joking”.

You fuck like that until the sky turns lavender behind the curtains, until the birds start chirping and your thighs shake around his hips with every bounce. You came with a cry muffled against his sweaty neck, and he follows not long after, holding you down on his lap and pulsing deep inside you while he mutters low curses under his breath.

Later, when you’re sweaty and boneless on his chest, you hear the baby monitor crackle again.

He groans. “Your turn”

You giggle and kiss his jaw. “Only if you promise to fuck another baby into me later—well in that case, we make sure it’s definitely in there, y’know just to be safe?”.

“You got yourself a deal, mama”.

[heartyluv]

Note: I already yapped my head off —here— but I will never stop saying it because it means so much to me…thank you so much my luvlys for over 1K followers. This fic literally became something of its own—the characters, the information, the story. Like I want to know more myself LOLLL!!!

Creds to @/strangergraphics-archive for the dividers! + The images below do not belong to me!

Warning: Caleb is eating that 🐱

Word count: 4.5K (bigger than i thought -that’s what she said-)

Summary: Avoiding him wasn’t bound to last forever.

TattooArtist!Caleb/Reader

You sighed after you put the car in park, looking over at your best friend. Currently, Bea was grumbling to herself as she rummaged through her purse to find her phone before she heads into work. You smiled as she kept tucking her deep blue hair behind her ear each time it fell into her face, opting to hold it back for her with your palm gently pressed against the rebel strands.

She looked at you with a quick smile of gratitude, flashing her smiley piercing before returning to her bag that was too big to be hauling around on a regular basis. It was her favorite thing in the world, though, so she’d never get rid of it.

You and Bea have been attached at the hip since you were in third grade. As time went on, even if you two knew one another like the back of your hand, you were polar opposites. Where you were a clean slate, simple, and reserved, Bea was decorated in stunning tattoos, flashy bangles, bracelets and jewelry, and the most outgoing individual you’ve ever experienced. And you absolutely loved her for it.

“I might’ve left it in your fucking room,” she groaned loudly in annoyance. Bea had spent the night in your apartment for the last few days and it was for no reason in particular. She liked coming over, you loved her company, so she stayed. You’re someone who works from home—thankfully—so you’re with each other all day until she has to go to work. Since she’s been with you, you didn’t mind driving her there and picking her up after for dinner. Especially on days like today where you were off.

Bea is one of the best tattoo artists in the world—sure it may be biased, but you didn’t care. Though, it was a fact that she’s one of the best in the state. She even has a plaque at her place to prove it and you have the photos when she and other artists were rewarded for it. Her range and ability to bring her art to life on a human being has always fascinated you.

The parlor she works in is one that has been a monument in the tattoo community for three decades now, owned by an uncle and his nephew. You’ve been in there a few times—a lot of them for reasons you keep tucked away.

“I can go get it and bring it back, if you want,” you offered. She frowned, but she was nothing but appreciative as she leaned over the center console to hug you.

“You’d literally be my hero.”

“When am I not?” you chuckle. “You’ll still be available for my appointment, right?”

“Of course, duh!” she exclaimed. “No one gets to see those beautiful nips but me and maybe your future baby. And whatever guy is lucky enough one day.” She waggles her eyebrows and shimmies her shoulders.

You shake your head, ushering her out the car so she isn’t late. Once she’s inside, your mind immediately drifts to the fact that Bea is supposed to be doing something for you. Something that she convinced you would boost your sexiness and confidence, even if no one but you would see them.

Nipple piercings.

You never would’ve thought you’d even consider doing something like that since the mere thought of a needle getting near you makes you nervous—let alone near your nipples. But you wanted something new. You wanted change. You wanted to have something about you that made you feel good.

Traffic was insane to and back, making you a whopping seven extra minutes late.

Thankfully, you got ahold of Bea’s phone quicker than you expected, finding it right under the pillow she slept on last night. She was in a little bit of a hurry this morning, so you’re not surprised that she forgot it as she focused all her attention on getting it together.

Once you gathered your things, you made your way inside Luvly Inkz. Immediately, you’re greeted by Sleep Token playing on the speakers and the subtle buzz of tattoo guns at work. With a quick once over, you don’t see Bea, but you’re nothing short of relieved when you don’t see him.

“Hey, there’s our girl!” shouts Uncle Wiz. The dark skinned older man grins at you from where he sits as he works on a client. Everyone calls him Uncle when they meet him because that’s always the type of relationship you get with the kind hearted gentleman who is completely decked out in ink. He’s like a magician with the way he executes his work, so being called Wiz isn’t too far fetched.

“Hey, Wiz. Hey, everybody,” you announce and they all offer a quick warm welcoming. “I know it’s been a while. You can thank Bea for my presence today. She in the back? I got her phone.”

“Nah,” Wiz focuses back on the lady listening to music through her earbuds as he fills in the large outline on her side. “Her and her dude got into again. He hasn’t even clocked in yet—had her sitting there losing her cool over the work phone. Told her to go take a breather.”

The need to go and find your best friend is strong, especially knowing that she’s out there with no phone or way for you to reach her efficiently. But you know her better than anyone to understand that she could handle herself, she didn’t like being crowded, and that the best thing right now was to let her do as Wiz said, and breathe.

Bea and her boyfriend Marquis work together at Luvly Inkz, which one could argue has its pros and cons. When they’re good, they’re like a power couple—an unstoppable force. But when it gets like this? When they fight and argue about something that ranges from completely stupid to detrimental enough to break up over, they’re like ticking time bombs that have a higher probability of detonating if they stay close.

But Uncle Wiz would never fire them because their bickering and disputes never stopped them from doing what they needed to do. Work was always done on time, correctly, and clients always walked out happy. It was a level of professionalism he knew he could trust them with, even with their personal problems.

But it wasn’t working out for you right now because you were supposed to be laying on Bea’s table, ready to get your nipples stabbed.

“Were you scheduled with her? I might be able to get it done for you really fast, depending on what it is.”

“It was a…piercing,” you say simply. Uncle Wiz nods.

“She finally broke you, huh?” he chuckled before looking around the room. “All of our girls are busy right now, but we’ve got Caleb here. He actually came in, despite me telling him to take off for his birthday. He got in not too long ago, and if you’re comfortable with him doing it, he won’t mind. Just tell him what it is since he’s qualified to do them all.”

Your whole body freezes.

Caleb.

The same Caleb who took your virginity and made you know what it was like to be desperate for dick for the first and only time in your life.

The same Caleb who you have regretted sleeping with ever since you learned he…gets around.

The same Caleb who admittedly never did anything wrong, but you were embarrassed and ashamed for succumbing to him so easily when you were certain—without viable proof—that the way he got you was by utilizing a technique he’s likely used too many times to count.

Bea was the one who—accidentally—told you after she wondered where you and him disappeared off to during the night of the party she threw for Marquis’ birthday at a luxury house she rented for the event.

You and Caleb were pretty cool before you had sex, having actually been acquaintances for a good few years. There wasn’t much you knew about him, other than that his talent rivaled Bea, he was annoyingly attractive, and had the body of a fucking god. You met him almost six years ago when she started working at Luvly Inkz and just clicked instantly about a lot of things.

So when he and you sat on the balcony that night just talking about everything and nothing like you knew each other so well, it was so hard for the crush you had formed over time to remain at bay. You never thought the attraction was mutual, but then, when he ended up kissing you? When he asked you if you’d let him fuck you? You knew you should’ve told him no, but the way he pressed his hardness into you and called you pretty—you were a goner.

He made—what you thought at the time—sweet love to you as his hips rocked back and forth slowly to let you adjust. You touch yourself at night when you think about the way he rolled the condom onto his heavy cock, when he filled you up like he was made to complete you.

After it all and you fixed yourself to face everyone again, you couldn’t stop smiling. But unintentionally, the words Bea spoke when she found you alone in the kitchen is what caused the rift.

“Dude, where were you and Caleb? Please don’t tell me you fucked him!” she joked with a nudge. “Seriously he’s like a walking attraction or something. Never heard the words “thank you for last night” so many times by so many different women in my life, ugh!”

You’ve been distant ever since. Every phone call and text was ignored and you stopped coming into the parlor entirely. You beat yourself up a lot about that.

How could you not have known better?

He literally carried a condom on him and the way he worked your body was not a man who kept to himself.

Bea felt awful because both of you are her friends and she hated that you felt the way you did after you admitted your truth, but she respected it.

You told her how you thought it was a special thing, that you and him were going to become more. Maybe you would’ve, but you’d never know now.

It wasn’t that you judged Caleb. Him having a past doesn’t dictate him, but the way he is wasn’t something he grew out of. You slept with that version. Before you had that information, you felt like what you shared with him was something special, but you concluded that it was just another day for him. To think you would be the one to become some life altering catalyst was foolish—so it was safer to rid him of your system entirely. It hurt and it stung as your brain worked to convince yourself that he just wanted to get his dick wet and you were easy enough to do it for him.

Being here today only happened because like Uncle Wiz was saying and based on what Bea had told you, he wasn’t supposed to be working because he originally took off for his birthday.

As you prepare to shake off and decline Wiz’s request, Caleb walks into the wide open space. In that moment, every single emotion, thought, and feeling you worked hard to suppress after all these months came rushing back like a hurricane fueled flood.

“We were just talking about you,” Wiz said as he told Caleb to come closer. You refused to look at him. But you could feel his eyes burning into you the closer he got.

Then when his cinnamon apple like scent flooded your nostrils, you tried to hold your breath like you were a vampire trying not to pounce on a human being whose blood smelled equivalent to ambrosia.

“She’s looking to get a piercing done, but Bea was supposed to do it and…well, you saw the tail-end of her and Marquis’ argument. If she’s cool with you doing it, you mind?”

“I don’t mind at—”

“I can come back another time,” you interrupt, keeping your focus on Wiz.

Caleb chuckles at your dismissive tone. But he’s not letting you get away again so easily. “If you don’t want your piercing done, fine. But I’m sure you at least want to know about Bea?” You turn your head slightly, but still not giving him your eyes.

“Marquis called me, but I don’t think you or them want the entire parlor in their business.”

Caleb and Marquis are similar to you and Bea in terms of friendship—really close and tight knit. They’ve been friends since high school and found their way through the tattoo world together.

You can see in the corner of his eye how he tilts his head in the direction he came. “Cmon, I’ll tell you what he told me so you don’t worry.”

Every part of you wants to leave and not be in any secluded area with this man, but you are concerned about Bea. You don’t want to cause a scene of trying to get out of this by curtly denying him and making Uncle Wiz wonder what your deal is.

Honestly, you didn’t know if anybody else knew what happened between you and Caleb. You know you never said anything, Bea never said anything, and you’re sure Caleb didn’t. 

And you would like to keep that under wraps forever, if you could. So you just nod, still looking at everything but Caleb until he begins to walk. As you follow him, you can’t help but begin to admire his strong tattooed arms in his sleeveless black shirt and the black jeans that hug his waist so well.

His boots thud against the floor on your journey down the vintage-esque hallway with several photos and copious amounts of unique artwork.

Once Caleb approaches the second to last door at the end, he steps aside to let you enter. You’re greeted by a slightly messy room with pencils and markers, rough drafts of pieces pinned across the walls, as well as a table with a light and equipment that seems like it was just in use.

“Sorry for the mess,” he apologizes as he shuts the door and flips the light switch to illuminate everything. “Was working on a project for a client—”

“Is Bea okay?” You stare at the floor as if your sneaker clad feet would be the one to answer your question.

“She’s fine. Marquis told me he was able to find her at some park they usually go to. He said they were talking everything out and that they’d be here before either of their first appointments.” It goes silent. “He said Bea appreciates you getting her phone and that she’ll make it up to you about these piercings you were getting.”

“Okay,” you huff. “Thank you.”

You get ready to walk out the door he stands besides, but he grabs your arm gently.

“Don’t…go.” He scoffs out a laugh. “I mean, fuck, can we talk?”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“That’s bullshit. We fucked, or have you seem to forgotten that like you have my existence, apparently?” He gets closer to you, but you move back. “And when I tried to reach out, you ignored me, Bea wouldn’t tell me shit, and then I haven’t seen your face in months.”

“I don’t want to talk about this,” you say sharply.

“Okay, but I do. You don’t get to make a decision about us without giving me a say so.”

For the first time in months, you put your eyes directly on his. And fuck…is he ethereal.

“Us?” you repeat in disbelief. “There is no us. There was never an us. We were barely considered friends!”

“There she is,” he grins like his plan that you didn’t even know he had, worked perfectly. “Now that you gave me your eyes, you gonna tell me why you ghosted me after the night we had, or am I supposed to try and figure it out through your scowls?”

“Caleb, get out the way.”

“Make me get out of the way,” he dares. “I let up on you before out of respect and I don’t care how you viewed the dynamic between us—I don’t like how you apparently chose to end it after what we did. Did I fuck up? Was I too rough?”

“Why does it fucking matter? We’re not a thing! We don’t owe each other anything!”

“So there was a problem,” he concludes.

The only way you’re getting out of this room is if you tell him something. Unfortunately, your brain decides to tell him the truth instead of sticking with the lie that you curated on the tip of your tongue.

“We were never close enough for what we did to be more than what it was. I simply removed myself so that you could get back to being the way that you are.”

Immediately he’s insulted, shaking his head like he has to jumble your words up again to make sure he understood you. “The fuck do you mean the way that I am? How exactly am I?”

“It seems like everyone but you knows,” you mumble.

He wipes his hand down his face in frustration. “Could you cut the riddle bullshit and just say it?”

“No.” Your determination is admirable, but he sees through your facade. He sees the way your nipples strain against your ribbed tank top, the way you can’t stop staring at the tattoos along his fingers, the piercing in his brow, or the one on his tongue when he licks his lips out of habit.

“I have to get it out of you, then?”

“You’re not doing anything but moving so that I can leave.”

“You wanna bet?”

Caleb couldn’t understand why you going cold bothered him so much. You’re not the first girl to be one and done with him, but you’re the first where he felt—no, knew—that there was something specific that made you pull away from him. He wanted to let it go, to let it be, but he also promised himself that if he ever saw you again, he’d get his answer one way or another.

You watch with wary eyes as his hand goes to the lock behind him, clicking it into place to keep you stuck in here with him.

“If you tell me no—if you tell me that you’re serious and that you want me to back off, I’ll never bother you again. But if you don’t utter that word before I get my hands on you, since I couldn’t get you to tell me what your problem is…I’ll have to make you.”

The thought of Caleb never talking to you again sends a wave of sadness through you. You know you should be protesting, but in truth…you don’t want to. Much to his liking, you don’t answer.

“Figured,” he says confidently.

Your body feels like it’s made of jello with the way you wobble where you stand.

“No bra and Bea being the one to do it for you…” he shifts the conversation, smiling widely as it settles in. “You were piercing your nipples, baby?”

“That’s none of your business.” Your face immediately grows hot.

“My tongue is about to be in your pussy in the next few seconds, so yeah. It is my business.”

Your eyebrows furrow, but there’s no time to be confused because he takes two grand steps your way, lifting you just enough to sit you down on the padded piercing table.

He doesn’t bother teasing or playing with you anymore, sucking on your nipples through your shirt when your tits are in his face. Your back arches into his hot mouth instinctively, your pussy throbbing in your jeans because of the metal ball in his mouth that swipes against your sensitive peaks each time he alternates between which one he thinks needs some more love.

“I’ll pierce them for you when I’m done. I know them better than Bea, don’t I?” he chuckles when your objection shifts into a moan that you have to suppress with your hand to your mouth.

“Tell me why,” he mumbles into your tits, gently biting on them when you pull his hair a little too hard from the intensity.

“I’m scared I’ll be wrong,” you shockingly admit through unshed tears when he starts to kiss up your neck, feeling the chill of his month being away from where you need them to return.

That thought crossed your mind a lot. That you shot yourself in the foot over something underlying that you weren’t ready to admit.

Caleb may sleep around, but what if he really did want you in ways you didn’t know?

What if you would’ve just went and fucking asked him instead of assuming?

But the fear of it being the opposite, experiencing that realization and embarrassment, trumped any other potential belief.

“Let me take that fear away, then.”

You remain focused on the way he brings your hips to the edge of the table, undoing your jeans as he kisses your lips. Your hands frantically grasp at his hair that he’s cut a little shorter, but it’s a difference you like. Skillfully, he holds the kiss as he guides you to lift your hips to get your pants down your legs without needing to say a word.

“Tell me yes,” he pecks your lips several times, a string of saliva constantly forming from how wet the exchange is. “Like the first time. The way you begged me. Let me hear you again, pretty. You don’t understand how much I’ve missed it.”

There’s so many emotions and questions coursing through you as you nod quickly, your eyes prickling with tears. You pull at the hair on the nape of his neck, your fingertips finding their way to the simple quote down the side of it. It’s like you’re trying to trace him to commit him to memory in case this really is something you’ll never have again.

“Please…Please taste me, Caleb..”

“You’re so good, baby,” he breathes, falling to his knees so that he can worship you better than he did when he slid inside your pussy. Immediately, he covers your mound with his mouth. You can’t sit up like this anymore when he starts to suck your clit, your body giving out on you as you slowly fall back and onto the cool leather.

The metal in his mouth teases your sensitive nub while his tongue writes his name into your flesh. Each stroke of the thick muscle between your sensitive lips is enough to finally pull the tears from your ducts to cascade down your temples.

He pulls back, gathering his spit to drench your cunt in it before delving back into you like a second wasted will make you realize that this isn’t where you want to be.

“I fucking missed you,” he declares, licking long stripes up and down your pretty pussy. “I haven’t touched anyone since you let me have you. I couldn’t get you off my mind.”

You choke on your cries, a foreign warmth completing you at the sincerity of his words.

He indulges in you like a man starved of what is rightfully his and all you can do is become a mess under his spell. The wet sounds of your juices as his tongue opens you up like a wallflower, drives you to be incapable of holding on any longer.

“I’m gonna come…” Your hold in his dark strands grow tighter.

“I know...You’re so sensitive, just like I remember. Like I always dream about.”

The confidence in his response, like the one time with your body was all it took for him to know it so well, makes you bite your lip hard as your body jerks when you orgasm makes you feel what it’s like to be torn between two realms.

His nose moves back and forth in your warmth, your walls clenching around his tongue while he continues to spread your slick everywhere he can.

You can’t control your moans, your legs raising to give him room at the same time your tits rise and fall in an effort to ground yourself.

Caleb quickly separates from you, standing up to climb over your body, attacking your lips so that he can swallow your cries. Your taste on his tongue makes you whine into the kiss the more he licks into your mouth. He rests his forehead against yours, his breath fanning against your face.

“I thought I was just another notch on your belt,” you finally voice the truth to him. “I thought you used me, and I was too scared to find out if it was true.”

“Oh, baby…” he breathed in defeat as if your words have crushed his heart. “You thought you were a fling?”

“How could I not? You have…a history, Caleb.”

“That’s fair—if we were strangers.”

“We might as well have been.” Your breath finally settles. “I didn’t exactly know how you moved until after, when Bea told me. We don’t know each other as much as you seem to think we do.”

“You seem to not know me, but pretty girl,” he kisses your neck. “I know you.”

“I feel like that needs some explaining.”

“It does,” he smiles. “Let me take you home after I get off. I’ll tell you everything you don’t know. That can be your other birthday gift to me.”

You ruminate on his proposition before you agree, but every single nerve in your body—aside from having the orgasm—is raised.

What does he know? What has he been hiding?

But it’s no point in pondering on something you have zero clue about. Like he said—tonight, you’ll learn.

True to his word, after Caleb cleans you up, he sanitizes your nipples, prepares his station like its second nature, and pierces them for you. He guided you through every breath and praised you for each successful puncture. He even admired them with you as he stood in front of a mirror with you in front of him so that you could admire yourself.

You didn’t know if it was Caleb, the piercings, or both, but you could feel and understand that confidence Bea spoke of.

“I can’t wait until they heal,” he kisses down your neck, pressing his bare chest to your back. He never brought up the fact that he didn’t come, so you assumed the reason the poor man behind you got so heated that he had to take his shirt off, is because he needs to come.

But you’re not going to say anything either. Since he apparently has something’s he’s kept secret, maybe he needs this little punishment.

But you can’t deny that the view of the few tattoos on his body doesn’t make you want to put his cock in your mouth.

“What will you do once they are?”

“You’ll see. Just don’t disappear on me again, yeah? It’s good to check in with your piercer. Have to make sure everything is healing nicely.” He grips your waist, making you suppress a smile.

When you’re finished, Caleb gives you a large spare shirt of his since your tank top is still wet from where he sucked on your nipples.

At the same time that you leave the room with him right on your tail, Bea and Marquis walk in. Thankfully, they look way happier than whatever was being said about them earlier. But, Bea’s eyes look at you, then Caleb, the shirt you wear, and the slight flush on his cheeks.

That’s all she needs to know that you two have a whole bunch of hours of crucial information to exchange ahead of you, but when you tell her where you’ll be tonight, she’s going to wish she was a fly on the wall.

A/N: I really enjoyed writing this, like it honestly felt like I was writing a chapter for a novel in a weird way. I can only hope you luvlys actually enjoyed this as it’s more of a full fledged out story than it is straight up sex going on and it wasn’t even really any of that in this. I’m sorry if that’s what you were looking for, by my masterlist is full of it, so I’m sure you’ll be fine LOLLL.

Tags 🏷️: @innergardentoadpony @teacupwaifu @mcdepressed290 @calebapplepie @xcelfer @honeymoonfleur @obeythebutler @ajyoursgirl @notsurewhattocallthisblog8888 @honeycrispangels @dummiebunny @sucre-princesse @brailsthesmolgurl @klossnite @grlyeetswrld @beesin03 @dramaticalsachan @moonchildjae00 @asiatic-apple @callads7 @caien @stargirlygirl @multisstuff @littledarlingsthings @purpleamethyst25 @lazygelpen @floatinginaer @meadowinthesky @floatinginaer @grackerzzz @nod4mnm3rcyy @loveinorion @ur-l0cal-crypt1d @inutrasha94 @cowaungabungabby @gravity-pilot @nyanahogini @rosiesluv @goochfiddler99 @torturedbabyapple @kiyadeleine

[blasphemyandbackshots]

MHA boys react to a s/o that always makes sure to kiss the tip before sucking the soul out of him 😜

this is oddly wholesome

ღ Izuku Midoriya - You drop to your knees and his breath catches already, but then you press that soft, reverent kiss to his tip like you’re worshipping him. “Oh—fuck…” He whimpers. He literally whimpers. That one kiss turns his brain into static. His hips jerk slightly like he’s chasing your mouth. He grips the back of your head, trembling. “Y-you always do that… it’s so—nngh—adorable. And hot. So hot. Please… please keep going.”

ღ Katsuki Bakugo - “Oi. What the hell was that?” He says it like he’s mad, like you just played dirty (and you did). But his voice drops an octave and his cock twitches in your hand. That soft kiss wrecks him more than anything. He growls, hands fisting the sheets. “You really gonna kiss it like that, then suck me off?” Yeah. Now he’s feral. Absolutely gripping the headboard while you ruin him.

ღ Denki Kaminari - You do it and his soul leaves his body. He literally gasps. “BABE. That was the cutest, sexiest shit I’ve ever felt.” He looks down at you, heart eyes and cocky grin. “Are you trying to kill me?” Then he puts both hands behind his head and moans dramatically. “Okay, okay, I’m yours. Just—holy fuck—do that again.”

ღ Eijiro Kirishima - “Aww, babe…” He looks down at you like you just did the sweetest thing in the world, but his voice is already getting rough. “That was… really cute. Really hot, too.” He watches you with soft awe, hand brushing your cheek before curling in your hair. “Every time you do that I just—fuck—I feel like I’m gonna fall in love all over again.”

ღ Hitoshi Shinsou - He raises a brow. “That little kiss again, huh?” But his smirk twitches and you see his abs flex, he feels it. He watches you with sharp eyes, cock twitching in anticipation. “You know what that does to me. You know exactly how soft and filthy that is.” He pulls your hair back and groans. “Now open that pretty mouth and let me hear how good you make me feel.”

ღ Hanta Sero - The first time you do it, he chokes on a laugh-moany sound. “Bebé… did you just kiss it? Oh my god.” He immediately throws an arm over his eyes, his other hand gripping the back of your neck. “You’re a menace. A fuckin’ tease.” Every time after, he waits for it and holds his breath until you do it, groaning loud when it lands. “Yup. That’s my kink now. That exact kiss.”

ღ Shouta Aizawa - He stills completely. Only watches you with heavy-lidded eyes, breathing shallow as if that single kiss rewired his whole brain. “That’s how you want to start this?” He cups the back of your head. “Fine. Be sweet. But don’t expect me to be gentle after that.” Yeah, the soft kiss breaks him. You can feel it in the way he moans the second your tongue follows.

ღ Keigo Takami - He whines. Not even a groan, no, a hot, high-pitched whine. “Fuck baby bird… you always do that.” His wings twitch when you do it, like his whole body reacts. He cups your chin, thumb brushing your bottom lip. “You kiss it like you love it. Shit… I think I’m in love with you.” (He already is.)

ღ Dabi - He snorts at first, acting like he’s above it. “You’re such a brat. You think that’s cute?” But then you do it again next time and his voice breaks. “Ohhh fuck. That’s filthy. Look at you.” Now he needs you to do it. His fists in your hair, muttering, “That kiss? That’s mine. Don’t ever give it to anyone else.”

ღ Tomura Shigaraki - The kiss hits him like a bomb. He stares down at you, lips parted, red eyes wild. “What… what was that?” He’s so stunned the first time you do it he nearly forgets what’s happening. But the second time? He’s obsessed. “Do it again. Every time. Please—fuck—that’s so sweet it hurts.” Bonus: he starts mumbling “mine” right before you take him in.

[jbird-the-manwich]

you have a wildly sensationalized manner of speaking and a fundemental misunderstanding of the concept of theft and a pretty broadly selected and seemingly thoroughly integrated collection of existential dread samples about a lot of things currently happening and you seem to think we can effectively address those by *checks notes*.

defending our right to be super uppity about ai and anyone who uses it and make wildly bespoke and extremely narrowly crafted whataboutisms into a very spicey and accusatory word salad with about 3 separate key misunderstandings about the topic of AI training.

That, or you're an asshole that enjoys being an asshole in ways engineered to resist immediate reproach by couching your entire sentiment in inflammatory, binary, reductive, and divisive extremes and making foregone conclusions drawn about heavily sensationalized topics, from which you've taken multiple controversies and anxieties and molded a white knuckle polished marble sphere of exactly the kind of moral ocd that makes me pretty glad I have a limited emotional range because you kids are smoking fucking crack. we're very serious here. on the interwebs. where we make our opinions and entire world models from memes and headlines so outdated the last referenced copies are so deep fried people are requesting them at the food court. with extra salt.

I'm going to be real with you chief. I don't gaf about the tumblr political discourse roller derby tactic of "oh you suggest being normal about TOPIC!? I guess you don't care at all about TOPIC TOPIC TOPIC TOPIC then."

basically you can have moral superiority or you can have a commitment to understanding a thing and we're at crossed purposes once information starts requiring nuance because foundational misunderstandings and outdated statements have become major fulcrums of your argument and apparently you're 20 lbs of pissed off in a 5 lb bag and I simply can't match your energy and I don't feel like you're really going to be interested in updating any of said conflations because they make you feel righteous.

you mention being self righteous. and. like. gotta hand it to you. an AI could *never* have pulled that particular job off as well as you just did. no text generator could take it from the top like that. omg. the skill. THE MIDDLE EAST!?!? tumblr users will straight up just make it about the middle east. they will just go full george dubya on your ass to get the stilts. you're an american. I can feel it. this is a very "OH SO YOU LOVE 9/11!?" type vibe. Do you lay awake at night and mentally beat the shit out of the guy who invented the printing press because of what he's done for the propagandists in the imperial core? I swear. "how many licks does it take a tumblr user to get to the middle east" ONE, is how many.

this is why I keep saying I don't want minors following me.

your first DeviantArt OC is better than any piece of AI art. your heterochromic half angel/half devil tragic backstory blorbo is more impactful and meaningful than any piece of AI art.

your napkin doodle, your first attempt at sculpture, the funny lil creatures that you make, your amateur makeup skills, your badly proportioned medieval lookin horse drawing, your macaroni art from first grade, your MS paint color gallery, every creation you've made with your thicc juicy creative brain is better than any piece of AI art.

[rafesbimbo]

Hi my love, could you do a gynecologist!rafe but with sex toys??

warnings: pt.2, age gap, medical kink, doctor/patient power dynamic, vibrator use, unprotected vaginal sex, overstimulation, orgasm control, creampie, praise + degradation, explicit language, breeding talk, not proofread!

pairing: gynecologist!rafe x reader

you don’t even ask why the room looks different today.

there’s no paper sheet this time, no stirrups either. just a soft leather bench—low, cushioned—and a warm towel already laid out for you to sit on.

rafe closes the door gently behind you, locks it, then turns.

“i’m trying a new setup,” he says casually, like it’s nothing. “just you and me. and a few pieces of equipment.”

you blink at the black cloth he’s unfolding. laid out inside: a sleek silver bullet vibrator, a thicker pink wand, a long toy that curves upward, and… a pair of wireless earbuds?

your mouth opens. “what’s that for?”

he smiles, calm and professional. “this is a focused stimulation protocol. we’ll be testing internal and external response patterns. i’ll be tracking your body’s reactions—tightness, temperature, muscle tension, vocalization. if you follow direction, we’ll finish with penetration.”

you swallow hard. “oh—okay.."

he helps you out of your clothes slowly. he deliberately folds them, setting them aside.

he has you lie back, legs open, hands relaxed at your sides.

“deep breath for me,” he says, voice low as he clicks the wand on. “and keep your eyes on me.”

the wand touches your clit and your hips jerk. it’s too much—you’re already sensitive from just being there, bare and watched under his gaze.

he hums in approval.

“good. you're very responsive. now don’t move.”

he keeps it there. doesn’t push, doesn’t thrust, just holds it steady while his other hand gently strokes your inner thigh. you’re panting, thighs already shaking. when you moan, he shushes you softly.

“quiet. you’ll distract the data.”

your orgasm hits like a wave—slow, rolling, overwhelming. you cry out without meaning to, clutching at the edge of the bench.

“mhm,” he says, making a little note in the tablet beside him. “that’s one.”

you barely recover before he’s sliding the curved toy inside you—warm, lube-slicked, angled perfectly—and turning that on too.

you feel it immediately, deep pressure that makes your toes curl.

rafe watches your face closely. “g-spot stimulation,” he murmurs. “let’s see if it triggers another release.”

you whimper, eyes glassy. “dr. cameron—feels so full—”

“you’re doing so well,” he murmurs, pressing the wand back to your clit at the same time. “just one more.”

you scream into your arm as you come again, harder this time.

wetter.

you don’t even realize you’re crying until his thumb wipes your cheek.

“beautiful baby. perfect reactions.” his voice is quieter now. “you’re ready.”

he sets the toys aside, wipes you down with something warm and gentle. then unbuckles his belt.

his cock is thick, flushed, leaking at the tip as he strokes it once.

“last part of the exam,” he says, voice rough.

“i need to feel you around me. just to confirm everything’s working the way it should.”

you nod, dazed. “yes… please. i want it.”

he sinks into you slow—slow enough to feel every inch.

you moan, eyes rolling back.

“fuck,” he groans. “tightest little cunt i’ve ever felt. all that prep and you’re still squeezing me."

you are, though. you’re so ready it hurts.

he moves with purpose. slow and deep, hitting the same spot the toy had touched. your whole body is electric—every nerve edge-sharp.

“you gonna come on my cock now?” he pants.

“gonna let me fuck another one out of you?”

you nod desperately, nails digging into the bench. “yes—yes, i’m coming—!”

he doesn’t stop. he fucks you through it, keeps going until your moans fall apart and your thighs shake uncontrollably.

“gonna fill this little pussy up,” he grits, breath stuttering. “need to see how your body reacts to cum. medical necessity, baby.”

you cry out as he finishes inside you, hips pressed deep, holding you full.

he stays there for a long moment. breathing with you. keeping you close.

“we’ll run a follow-up in seventy-two hours. i’ll want another sample then.”

[neeeooon]

video game lover !

5 | winner takes it all

cw. cussing

chat: sooooo we gonna address the elephant in the room

you twirled your headphone wire between your fingers like a strand of hair. “i don’t know what you guys are talking about.”

chat: you are a liar

chat: HIOYN HIOYN HIOYN

chat: r u dating DONT LIE

chat: give us the hiori bf pics pls

chat: CUDDLE PICS PLS

chat: HARD LAUNCH PLEASE

you smiled at your chat but didn’t reply. hiori, as promised, sent you an invite to his minecraft world through discord. honestly, the game choice surprised you, considering how building wasn’t his thing. you sensed he was planning something, but you were going to ask him to put his minecraft bed beside yours if he didn’t make the first move.

you waited for the world to load and jumped when you turned your character around to find hiori’s right there. “jeez!” you screeched lightly, throwing a hand over your heart. “you scared me!”

“sorry,” hiori apologized sheepishly. his character was hovering slightly above the grassy terrain, signaling that the world was set to creative.

you clicked your mouse until you were the same height. “are we building again today?”

hiori’s character turned away from you. his skin looked just like him, which you thought was adorable, considering your character's skin was miffy.

“i’ve actually been building off-screen for about four hours,” hiori admitted into his mic.

you tried not to look surprised, but your viewers immediately began bullying your expression in chat. “four hours? building what?” you followed as hiori flew higher and took off into the distance. confused, you muted yourself and asked your chat for spoilers.

chat: girl he Just said he built offscreen

chat: off screen = no viewers babe 😔

chat: It’s okay Y/n, we still love you even though you’re mentally challenged! 🫶💓

rolling your eyes, you unmuted yourself and continued following. “how far away did you build?”

“pretty far. maybe too far. i don’t know… we’re almost there!”

“are we, though?” you teased, when the ugly yellow of the stupid sponge block appeared in the distance. chat, again, slammed crying laughing emojis when you failed to school your expression. “no way.”

“way.”

“no way.”

hiori giggled. “way.”

the sponges formed a heart around a cluster of flowers that would have looked randomly placed if you weren’t floating above them. you covered your mouth, muffling your loved-up laugh when you read what was written in the pixels. “‘be my girfriend?’ aww, i knew you fell for my charms.”

hiori let out a choked sound and his character dropped to the ground. “wait, i promise i know how to spell. pretend that says girlfriend.”

“nope! i like girfriend more.”

chat: he forget the L on purpose cause hiori only take W’s

chat: WWWWWWW

chat: HIOYNNNHAJDKSJ WWWWW

chat: no no he didn’t put the l on purpose cause he knew you’d say yes!!!!

“words are hard,” hiori grumbled, sounding so sulky over the mic that you completely combusted. “that sucks. oh well.” turning to your camera, you squealed. “chat, i’m a girfriend!”

chat: someone check on otoya and karasu

chat: AWW CONGRATS HIORI AND Y/N!!!!

chat: love is still alive 💗

☆ 🐇

you stood on hiori’s doorstep with a bundle of white and blue hydrangeas in your hand because they reminded you of hiori. you’d been at the same conventions and events before, but never actually interacted with one another. part of you was nervous about meeting him, but the other part was too excited that you were trembling in anticipation as you waited for him to open the door.

“why are we here again?” otoya asked, slumped against the wall with his hands in his pockets.

you frowned at him. “in case this isn’t actually hiori yo’s place and i was catfished, duh.”

“but we’ve been here before,” karasu added from your other side. you contemplated smacking him with your flowers.

“i’m hungry,” otoya whined, which in turn caused karasu to perk up. “saw a burger place not far from here.”

“fuck yeah. later, y/n.”

“traitors!” your screech was immediately met with the opening of a door, and you whipped your head around to find hiori staring at you with his pretty blue eyes. you fawned. “oh, hello. boyfriend.”

hiori flushed at the endearment and held the door so you could kick your shoes off as you entered. you glanced back to find him scrubbing at the back of his head. “howdy, girlfriend.”

“ah ah. girfriend.”

“i’m never livin’ that down, am i?” hiori asked with a breathless chuckle, and you pushed yourself up on your toes as you held the flowers out for him to take.

hiori blinked at the bouquet before pulling it close to his chest. “i don’t think i own a vase. wait here, i’ll find somethin’.”

fuck, he’s so cute, you internally screamed, fighting air the second he turned back.

you followed him into the kitchen and propped your jaw into your hands as you watched him search for something to put the flowers in. feeling a bit more confident, you let your chin roll in your palm. “so. when am i getting you pregnant?”

hiori coughed, choking on air. he flashed you a look, eyes wide and flustered in a way that made you grin. “kidding, kidding… we’re here to film a collab, right? our first since becoming official?”

hiori, still hung up on your prior words, scratched his jaw. “why does the entire internet think i’m the one getting pregnant?”

“we’d make such pretty babies.”

“why don’t we start with a rabbit first, yeah? or a plant. plants are nice.”

the giggle that slipped out of you was unplanned and caught you off guard. “calm down, babe. we’ve only been dating for six hours. it may be a bit soon to talk about plant adoption.”

“but babies are on the table?” hiori asked with a raised brow. he filled a bowl with water and set the hydrangeas in it. “we can raise these flowers.”

you pursed your lips in agreement. “fine. we should pick a name for them, though.” hiori suggested one, you gave another. sighing, you straightened into a stance and pressed an open palm to his countertop. “okay, idea. we duel for the name of our first plant as a couple.”

hiori mimicked your position but leaned forward slightly, his chest hovering above the counter. “winner takes it all.”

you leaned right back. “deal.”

masterlist // previous (ch 4)

notes -> THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR READING VIDEO GAME LOVERRR (thank you kaiser’s wife 🐟 anon for the confession idea!)

tags -> @lovingmayday @hioriyolover @mymeloreo @l1f3isf00d @bigclownshoes @x3nafix @luvsymai @s4turnx1 @ravenbc @ohagiyoo @miss-aesthetic-13 @academiq @practicoi @n0tbelle @sevarchive @inojinieeee @narcjsistx @ihsoti @pixelpancakes @ume356 @blu3-l0v3r @mivqko @n0ah-hal00 @starlvcied @kyaanii @ro4love @heididaily104 @idexmids @jimabbenamara @kuronarnze @demiitria @pctterheadd @kaz-0e @sapphireluv @kim1chii @90s-belladonna @literallyushiwaka @itz-phantomz @tired-child00 @realrintaro @5-laska @akis-crazy-world @sagging-saging @minlahzz @sickly-cute @risagichi @shaeies @sasukevrz @milkbugzz @dontmindtheevie

© neeeooon, 2025

[aelxnox]

NEEDY

warning: squirting, slight blood, succubus!reader, sub!ellie, overstimulation if you squint, tit sucking, spit, cunt slapping, edging if you squint again. I got unmotivated towards the end, not proofread. It's shit i know but this has been sitting in my drafts for weeks.

"I'm so fucking tired of being bitchless. Why does nobody want me?" Ellie whined, her face buried in the pillows. "I'm untouched. A damn virgin, can you believe that?" she scoffed and lifted her head up to look at Jesse who was sitting on the floor with a bunch of paperworks scattered around him.

"Wow, Ellie. Your problem is so big." Jesse sighed, his eyes focused on the papers in his hand. "It is big!" Ellie groaned, "I'm a fucking virgin, Jesse."

Jesse finally looked up at the whining girl, a scowl forming on his face when Ellie's eyes started watering. "Are you fucking crying?" he snorted, hand flying up to cover his mouth.

Ellie looked away and wiped her tears away with the sleeves of her hoodie before picking up a pillow and throwing it directly at Jesse's face.

"Ow! What the fuck?" he grunted, brows furrowed as he glared up at the girl. "Bitch, this is some serious shit. Nobody wants me, I'm horny every single day of my life!"

"I'm gonna die a virgin." she sniffed. Jesse rolled his eyes one more time and pushed the papers aside before he stood up to sit beside Ellie on the bed.

He took a deep breath and placed his hand on Ellie's shoulder. "You're not a virgin. Stop fucking with me." Jesse said, both his expression and tone of voice serious.

Ellie's head snapped to look at him, her lips quirking into a snarl. "I'm a virgin!" she clicked her tongue. "Half-virgin, I mean. That was like one time and I didn't even come. No one likes me."

"Why don't you try the book that Dina found?" Jesse nudged her shoulder, his brows wiggling up and down. "That stupid book about summoning a succubus? You're joking, right?" Ellie laughed.

Jesse's face remained serious that made Ellie's laugh cut off. She cleared her throat and shifted on the mattress. "Oh. I don't know."

"Try it since you're so desperate." he blew raspberries and got up. Ellie's eyes followed him when he took out the book from his bag. Her eyes lit up, the vines and thorns covering the book making her breath caught in her throat.

"I kept this in my bag since you were drooling when you saw it." Jesse chuckled and placed the book next to Ellie. "Close your mouth. Wouldn't want a fly to get stuck in your throat again."

"Shut up." Ellie huffed and tilted her head to look at the book sitting beside her. "This is stupid. You really think this shit is real?" she raised an eyebrow and turned to face Jesse.

"It will if you're desperate enough. In this case, you already are." he shrugged and swung his bag over his shoulder. "I'm going, it's getting late. Goodluck with that thing."

Ellie nodded and watched as Jesse left her bedroom. She heard his footsteps down the stairs then the front door open and closing again.

She sighed, bottom lip now red from how much she was biting it. It's just a book. An old, weird book that was found by Dina's researcher ass. It can't work, right?

But she's desperate. Desperate to get touched, caressed, kissed. She's desperate for pleasure.

"Fuck it." she muttered under her breath and reached out to open the book, a gasp escaping her throat when the thorn sliced the skin of her finger.

"What the fuck?" Ellie's brows furrowed when the symbol in the middle of the book's cover lit up and in the blink of an eye—a bright red glow swallowed the room whole.

Ellie's arms immediately flew up to shield her eyes from the blinding light as vines and thorns started to crawl up her walls and ceiling.

She scooted back when a black shadow started to appear, fear evident in her eyes. "W-what the fuck? Who are you?!" she yelled, her voice trembling from fear.

The glowing light started to falter and Ellie's room is now filled with vines with piercings thorns.. and you soon appeared.

A succubus.

Ellie's eyes widened, her breath hitching when your arms stretched above your head—making your breasts slightly bounce at the motion.

"Hmm.. human." you licked your lips, your long tongue darting out. Your eyes stared down at Ellie, her mouth parted from shock.

You squatted down infront of her and moved your tail to caress her freckled cheeks. "You're the one who summoned me?" you grinned and tilted your head, your voice high-pitched and giddy.

"S-summoned? I haven't done anything yet!" Ellie pushed your tail away and scrambled to get up on her feet. You rolled your eyes, tired of the same old dialogue.

"You summoned me. Your finger." you pointed at her wound, Ellie's eyes following your gaze. Her brows furrowed and she slowly brought her finger to her face, seeing her blood glow like the light that emitted in her room.

"This? Blood? That's all it fucking took?" she scoffed and shook her head in disbelief. "You're fucking lying. Are you even a succubus? You l-look like a-" she cut herself off, eyes roaming around your body.

"I look like what?" you chuckled. You stepped closer until your face were inches away. "You're desperate, aren't you? Desperate to get fucked. So fucking desperate to cum." you whispered in her ear and stuck out your tongue to tickle her earlobe.

Ellie squirmed, a soft gasp escaping her mouth. "You need me, Ellie."

Her eyes widened and you felt her hands push you hard that made you stumble back. "How do you know my name?" You smirked, the tremor in her voice like music to your ears.

"While you were busy being a scaredy-cat, I was having a field day in your brain. I already know you. Your heartbreaks, your fears, the things you find joy in, and.. your biggest, fucking desires."

You lunged at her, Ellie's back hitting the floor with a thud. You hovered over her body, your eyes staring deep into her lust-filled orbs. You could feel it. You could smell the hunger, she's starving.

And so are you.

"You're even prettier up close." you giggled and slid your hands under her hoodie, your long nails tickling her soft skin.

Ellie's eyes closed, her mouth parting when your warm hands found her breasts. You twisted her hardened nipple. You rolled them in your fingers and tugged until she let out a moan.

"Ohh. You sound so pretty." you gasped. You pushed her hoodies above her breasts, your tongue swiping your bottom lip when you came face-to-face with the perked buds.

You opened your mouth and wrapped it around her nipple, your sharp teeth piercing through it and drawing blood that made your eyes glow. Ellie's back arched and hands flea up to tangle in your hair. "Ah! Fuck.." she whimpered, soft gasps escaping her throat.

You continued to suck on her nipple, your hand crawling up to her face. You tapped two of your fingers on Ellie's lips, her mouth parting to let you slide your digits on her tongue.

"Spit." you commanded, voice slightly muffled from sucking her breast. Ellie nodded and gathered some spit before letting it drip onto her fingers.

You took your fingers out of her mouth and brought your hand down to circle your wet fingers on your clit, your hips stuttering when a surge of pleasure coursed through body.

"A-Ah.. Ellie, hmm.." you moaned, your tongue licking on her nipple. Your other hand squeezed her stomach before it itched down to her heat, your palm instantly getting coated in her wetness.

"Hmm, so fucking soaked." you giggled. Your fingers continued to rub on your sensitive clit, your eyes slightly rolling at the sensation.

"P-please.." Ellie whimpered and bucked her hips up to grind on your palm. You lifted your hand up and landed a harsh slap on her cunt, Ellie's back arching at the sting and pleasure mixing. "Be patient." you snarled and let go of her nipple with a pop.

You looked down at her, a smirk spreading on your face at her dazed expression. You pushed her thighs open with your hands and you leaned down to get a better look at her pussy that's spread wide by your thumbs.

"So pretty.." you whispered and closed your eyes before darting out your tongue tease her entrance. "Ah! F-fuck, please.." she cries out.

You looked up at her through your eyelashes and flattened your tongue to lick on her clit, her thighs wrapping around your head before you pushed it back with your forearms.

You latched your mouth on her sensitive bud, your fingers circling her hole before slowly dipping inside her. Your mouth remained on her clit, sucking, licking, and flicking the bud with the tip of your tongue.

You twisted your fingers inside her, your wrist moving to a comfortable angle to fuck into her pussy at a certain pace.

Ellie's hips stuttered and grinded down on your palm, a string of profanities escaping her mouth.

"Oh fuck, yes.." she whimpered. You smirked against her cunt and started to pump your fingers in and out of her hole slowly, Ellie's eyes starting to water from getting impatient.

She whimpered and slammed her fist down on the floor, trying to get you to speed up. "Please, I need you.. please." she choked out, heavy tears flowing down her cheeks.

You chuckled at her eagerness and fastened your pace, your fingers curling when your knuckles met her plump flesh.

"You're so desperate, huh?" you taunted and darted your attention back to her clit, your mouth creating lewd sucking noises.

Ellie nodded and threaded her fingers into your hair, tugging at it hard. "Yes, yes, fuck. I need y-you.. ah!"

You removed your mouth from her clit and watched as her legs shook from getting her pussy fucked by your fingers. You smirked at her rolled eyes, a wicked idea entering your mind.

You bit your lip and slid your fingers out of her cunt, Ellie's eyes widening and a sob emitting from her at the sudden emptiness.

"W-wha- Why did you pull it out?" she cried out, tears spilling from her eyes.

Your lips pouted and you leaned down to lick the tears that fell on her face. "Oh, poor you. I'd love to see you cum all over my fingers.. but I wanna have some fun too." you cooed and landed a harsh slap on her cunt, your smile dropping.

"Count." you growled in her ear and pulled away to watch her. You raised your hand and slapped her pussy one more time. "O-one!" Ellie sobbed. You smirked and leaned down to suck on her breast, "Good girl."

You continued your assault on her pussy, her soaked skin now red and stinging from the amount of slaps you gave it. You finally gave her one last harsh slap, your fingers now circling on her sticky clit.

"O-oh! Hmmm, ahh.. shit." she whimpered quietly and lifted her legs in the air to give you more access.

You smiled against her tits and pushed your fingers inside her again, Ellie's breath hitching. You grasped her breast and thrusted your fingers into her cunt at a harsh, fast pace—her mouth widening at the intense pleasure you're giving her.

"Ungh! Yes, yes! Ah!" she giggled and wrapped her legs around your waist. You captured her lips in a kiss, your tongue reaching for the back of her throat that made Ellie gag.

You pressed down on her clit, feeling her walls tighten and her moans get louder as she neared her orgasm. Ellie's legs started to tremble, her back arching repeatedly off the floor, and her pussy choking your fingers.

She pulled away from the kiss, her eyes rolling back to her head when your fingers pushed her spot. "C-cumming! Hmpphff.. ahh!" she screamed, nails scratching at your back when she squirted around your fingers.

Ellie's chest heaved, her breathing ragged as her body stuttered while she struggled to come down from her high. Her legs spread wider, hole clenching and unclenching around your fingers.

"A-ahh! Fuck, please, please!" she moaned and pushed your hand away, her mind all scrambled from her orgasm. "H-hngh.."

You smiled and thrusted into her pussy one more time before pulling your fingers out, a squelching noise echoing in the room at her cum oozing out of her hole.

You brought your hand up to suck on your fingers and you moaned quietly at how good she tasted. You cleaned your fingers clean and pulled them out of your mouth, your tongue darting out to show her cum on it.

"Hmm.. that was good." you giggled and bit your lip. "Summon me again next time, needy."

[writingmochi]

lissie: hello hello adeline! well i just wanna say thank you for reading laurel hell as a whole. glad my quiz entices you to do so. also i'm glad that my heeseung fics could capture you so much. i mean, the last hee fic you read has a pretty long name so i couldn't blame you for getting the name 100% correct. motion picture soundtrack is easy to remember for me because of the radiohead song it is based on (though i usually just refer it as motion picture). and it is pretty much the same with this fic because of the mitski album it is named after (it's a coincidence that you read two of my musician-based fics lol)

firstly, sorry if i go off tangent cause you caught onto things people haven't caught and i love you so much for that

spoilers for all parts of laurel hell (definitely read part 2 and epilogue), cause it is my chance to dissect :] also there might be some heavy topic discussed as well

"Starting off strong by listening to the playlist too (i tried my best to ignore the songs to feel the full surprise for part 2) Immediately i love that the first song is Valentine, Texas and the memory mc has with Heeseung has been on Valentines ugh..."

i would gladly recommend you to hear the playlist after reading the whole fic because you can actually pinpoint scenes based on the songs. it is pretty much my thing since my jay fic in 2022 that i make the playlist tells you the story of the fic implicitly + i put songs in the fic sometimes diegetically so that you can pinpoint that "oh, if this song is mentioned in the fic, then the previous songs must be talking about this scenes", etc)

valentine, texas, following the valentine prologue alongside mitski's old friend, which shows that these two are old friends

all of the laurel hell songs are being referenced as chapter names in the fic, so you can guess the transition as well.

chapter 1: i put mitski's why didn't you stop me? as it being the calling card between the two like "why didn't they actually stop each other from fucking?!" and then it is followed blackpink's playing with fire because their relationship is literally "playing with fire" lol

chapter 2: i bet on losing dogs and phoebe bridgers' saviour complex as the songs i imagine as the bgm for the basketball court scene in the park. i bet on losing dogs is when mc was telling heeseung her feelings and why she quit basketball; saviour complex is when they both decided to open up while lying down on the concrete floor beneath the stars. then it is followed by skipping stones (the song mc is playing when beomgyu found her) and tom petty's love is a long road that is playing in beomgyu's car radio but also relates to what mc is feeling towards beomgyu there

chapter 3: fleetwood mac's rhiannon (my favourite inclusion because of the *layers*) is when heeseung realises how mc is the glue of their blended friend group because the song itself is about rhiannon, a goddess from the mabinogion who is like a leader, signalling that mc is the one being the leader in the meshing group. mitski's class of 2013 is the aftermath after her being rejected by beomgyu. and why am i like this? by orla gartland is the bgm of when they reconcile after the gender reveal/baby shower

chapter 4: that thnks for the mmrs you say in the review of the second part is mentioned in the new year's scene of how heeseung was drunkenly singing along to a fall out boy song. now or never from high school musical 3 is for the final basketball match and how winter also mentioned hsm

chapter 5: anyone else but you from the juno soundtrack is, in a way, a homage entry because this whole trope of "rivals to lovers" thing is so juno lol and beabadoobee's glue song is the part where heeseung said that he will stay with mc "until the heat death of the fucking universe."

epilogue: the name isn't a laurel hell reference but it still is mitski and it referenced mc's favorite mitski song and the literal english translation of her instagram username + the mention of you'll be in my heart by phil collins as the song mc plays in the daycare recital

"Oh we are getting right into the pregnancy trope oh my god i wasnt mentally prepared."

i do think that's the only correct way to do it because i used to want to start the fic from the baby conception part (crazy to start a long fic in the middle of the fucking) but then i was thinking of all the logistical disaster it could do. i have to make it all make sense, such as the morning after pill doesn't work and mc not wanting abortion because of her affinity for children and the small implicit mention of her family medical history in the hospital scene. (i actually want to elaborate more in the early drafts of the fic that mc wasn't supposed to be an only child, but her mom got a miscarriage and i also want to mention how mc actually has PCOS but that's gonna be too much character exposition in an already complex story) hence, why i started the story in medias res where they have done the deed and they have to deal with the consequences

"Also seeing their rivalry throughout the years is p intense; they always do say love and hate are on opposite sides of the same coin, no? I know they dont like hate each other like that but you get what i mean~"

well hey! that's what their moms say in part 2

"“god, you’re so fucking hot when you’re under me.” Insane words for a rival to say Heeseung"

i mean, they were trying to make each other cum in their so-called game so dirty talk galore right there

"I also love how you incorporate the flashback in between their conversation, thats so cool"

that scene is part of the early draft when i mentioned how i wanted to tell the conception story. but making it a flashback makes it more intriguing because they are reminiscing state instead

"???? Heeseung sweetheart are you okay? Why does Hee so casually say hes gonna be a dad wtf 😭"

this is literally me when writing this part cause lol laurel hell!heeseung you are the bravest man i have ever known. but, in all serious and after the whole exposition of the rivalry, we know that: these two are competitive and petty as *fuck*

since we read this from mc's pov, we can't actually know his reasoning on why he is accepting. but, in my mind, he had an inner dialogue with himself when mc mentioned that he doesn't need to be involved. i think she saying that hurts heeseung's ego like "what does she mean 'i don't have to be involved'? is she saying that i can't take responsibility? is she saying that i'm not a fucking gentleman? oh fuck that. you know what?". so, in a way: heeseung agrees to being a dad is to spite mc at first lol

“i do you one better, seung.” jeongin said as heeseung lifted his eyebrows at him, tilting his head. “my mom is an ob-gyn doctor.” "I cant lie this caught me off guard and I laughed"

it is a romantic comedy after all!! glad that my comedic timing makes you laugh

“or another queen. i have two queens at home.” This is such a subtle but cute inclusion.

*writing this in june* happy pride!!

I also love how accommodating her friends are for her new diet. Also Hee seinding veggies :(((( like ikhes thinking of it as a rivalry but its so cute

i love the girls' friendship so much honestly (though i see myself in ryujin's position as the caretaker) and also the boys' friendship like i don't want it to be so stereotypical, so i added that domestic touches as well. it is a subtle notion that heeseung actually *cares* about mc's wellbeing O:

“you gotta have to let us meet this (y/n) noona. i bet she’s pret-“ “go back to your place, riki-kun. jake’s calling for you.” I giggled

riki, i am so sorry for making you the butt of the joke lol. but seriously he is so out of place cause he is younger than all of them (all of the enhypen members age difference are the same in real life + bonedo 03-04 being sophomores and freshmen respectively) so him being a freshmen but a year younger, i can just say he got freaking accelerated cause he is a prodigical son or something lol. i had to make him the butt of the joke

“TWINS?!” "Oh. my. God. I speculated from the way the mc referred to them but having it confirmed is insane."

i didn't catch that when i wrote that in because i used the they/them pronounce because we don't know the biological sex of the baby yet. so they/them = gender neutrality. it's good that you caught onto something i didn't catch

"I love that their families are just happy??😭thats comforting"

oh believe me. when the moms know that they are giving birth around the same time, they've been "arranging" mc and heeseung together in the hopes that they become in-laws. hence the playdate and stuff. the parents have actually been shipping these two together--the first heemc shipper in the story.

"Seeing cesarean scares me <//3"

as a cesarean baby, i freaking agree. but like twins are safer with cesarean delivery because of the risks, so i am flexing that knowledge as well (+ i was writing this after my cousin gave birth to my nephew with a cesarean delivery so that was also stuck in my mind)

(that basketball court scene between mc and heeseung and the kissing part) "SCREAMING LISSIE HELLO"

i love writing that basketball scene at night between mc and heeseung so much. other than exposing mc as a fellow basketball player and also flexing my knowledge (cause just like mc, i too have a parent who played basketball in their school years and also play basketball in elementary and middle school) but i like how that sequence is genuinely the first time where they talked without any hostility between them. how they can talk about something as far as their shared pasts. you can feel that their relationship changes there from "i can't stand you" to "maybe, being civil with you can work" but that kiss also makes everything blurry but we now know: these two are intrigued with each other even with how meesed up it started (it's that slow burn kicking in as i turn more of the heat)

will be replying to part 2's review after this. i genuinely have so much fun talking about this with you

part 1

cast: heeseung ✗ fem.reader (ft. the peeps, enhypen, and other idols)

synopsis: when you told your long-term rival and latest hook-up, heeseung, that you are pregnant with his child; you didn't expect said topic to be involved in your rivalry!

genre: romantic comedy, slice of life, coming-of-age, slow burn, drama, rivals since childhood to [redacted], college/university au, pregnancy au, future parents au, fluff, angst, mature content (explicit smut)

word count: 24198 (24.2k) out of 60550 (60.5k)

warning(s): pregnancy (what did you expect?), so many curse words!, description of explicit sex (in a flashback sense), rough sex, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, manhandling, vomiting, mention of drugs (marijuana, alcohol), mention of blood, dark humor (if there is something that i forgot, let me know)

message of the moon: remember that this story is fiction and do be careful and read the warnings at the top. all the idols mentioned here are not what they are in real life.

first fic of 2024! i've ideated this since like 2022 and it's here what the heck!! this is part 1 of 2 of a 57k-58k word count one-shot (yes, this is supposed to be a one-shot) but tumblr hates me so i have to divide it into two. thanks for the 200+ notes on the teaser/character intro and i hope you enjoy it!

soundtrack (spoilers for part 2!) | part 2 | epilogue

prologue: a town called valentine

it was valentine 2002 when you and heeseung first met. well, if you consider babies who can’t even talk to each other will know of each other. you have to thank both of your moms for that—getting pregnant around the same time and giving birth in the same year as well.

but the earliest—vivid—memory you have of him was on valentine 2005. you hid behind your mama’s leg as she talked with someone: another adult. you glance around the outside space you’re in, the plants and pathway unknown to you as mama can see your eyes wander with your tiny mouth agape when you look past the other adult to recognize the widening door right beside them. you heard your mother giggling with the other person as they converse about something your 4-year-old mind wouldn’t be able to understand.

“(y/n) sweetie! say hi to auntie.” your mama caresses your hair with her hand as she guides you to stand beside her, her hands moving behind your small set of shoulders before you. the small hands reached for one of hers, holding it tight as you stood beside her.

“hello…” you looked up to meet a beautiful woman. her eyes are wide as they remind you of the mother deer you last saw when you watched bambi with mama and papa. and you can feel a ticklish feeling inside you as you watch her eyes smiling softly at you. as she smiles at you softly.

“hello (y/n)! you’ve grown so much since i last met you.” her hands give a wave, making you raise your hand up as you mirror her while you pick up your mama’s chuckle. the lady moves back, extending her arm as you see a clean hallway full of photos on one side and a cabinet full of shoes on the other. some of them looking similar to your own shoe size.

“please come inside. i’ve set the toys so she can play with them if she wants.” the lady—well, auntie—said as your mama guided you inside with her trailing behind. sitting on the hidden seating area by the cabinet, she helps you take off your shoes before opening her hands to let you hold them. she lets you walk in front as both of you enter a big room with a sofa in front of a television. as per told by mama every time you enter someone’s home: sit down beside mama or papa as you waited for the homeowner to guide you next. the back of the sofa is too tall for your height now and you let your hand graze against the side of the soft sofa when you encounter a large mat laid in between the sofa and the screen.

your brain tingles when you find a few toys you can name—like the ones you own back home—while a few of them you don’t recognize at all. eyes on the toys, you throw away whatever your mama has told you and tug her hand to let her know the existence of them. looking up, she looks down at you, glance at the pile of toys left behind, and gives nods, making you grin as you both sit on the playmat. your eyes immediately look at blocks stacked shaping like a house; its triangle roof, square walls, four windows, and door makes you easily imagine it. you crawl towards it and the box beside it, finding the other blocks left behind as you pull some of them out to make your own little house. as you slowly stack up the blocks—hearing the sound of wood tapping against each other—you heard the sound of giggling coming from behind the sofa.

“sorry, he just finished taking a bath.” auntie said to your mom who was behind you, walking closer to the sofa as you turned your head to face her. that’s when you see another person walking into the room with a small pitter-patter heard behind them. the steps are getting louder and louder as you see a small figure enter the room, walking towards the person laughing. the person wipes his face with his small hand before pausing, turning his head to you.

“hi heeseung!” you heard your mama say as the boy’s laugh slows down and he looks at you and your mama. auntie, who now looks more like the bigger version of the boy, steps in to help him move and sit down beside you. you see him crouch down as you can see his face clearer. yet, his eyes wander on the house made of blocks—his house—and the house you’re making; wider by one block than his.

“that’s (y/n). you were too young to remember but auntie and i always bring you two to playdates since you’re not even one year old. she’s the same age as you.” you heard auntie say as you felt your mama help you to scoot closer. his hand reaches for the box of blocks as you place the final block on your house while he’s pulling out more blocks. you look at the boy’s action as you feel mama, with her larger hand, holding onto your smaller one. your palm is now open as you see heeseung was told to do the same by his mom, putting away the blocks on the mat. your hands meet each other as you say your name. mama helps in closing your fingers, wrapping your hand in his as he follows.

“my name is (y/n).” the boy’s hand also uses the same force when you shake it. both women let go of their children’s hands as both of your little hands are floating, connected, and shaking. your eyes meet his as he looks back at the two houses made of blocks.

“my name is heeseung.” he smiles.

-

1. stay soft, silly

the way the corner of his mouth twitches makes you think outside of the plan you are executing now, nearly done in telling him what he needs to know.

your hands rested on top of your stomach, feeling a little bulge that was not there a month ago. his ice americano contrasts with your hot jasmine tea as you sit across from each other. years upon years of history went on pause for this moment. for a truce that you are proposing.

“and they’re mine?” heeseung sounded. your eyebrows folded, looking down at the swollen part beneath your stomach as you pouted your lips, holding back your giggling as you glanced back at him.

“i haven’t had sex with anyone this past month besides you. so, yeah. the baby is yours.”

it’s funny, you see. with the amount of carefulness you and your friends have taught you of the college hook-up culture you got roped into, you never expected to hook up with your rival. yet tension does what tension does, and it snaps as you both stumbled to kiss each other.

when it comes to your “relationship” with heeseung, the closest to a positive one was when you were in kindergarten, as you’ve known him before by the amount of playdates both of your mothers set up.

little did they know that one time at a playground during one of those playdates, you were left alone to play with your sandcastles as heeseung ventured to play with the other boys, running around the sandpit playing tag and how you see the familiar little jeans pants walks in front of you, knocking the castle down and flying the specks of sand to your face with your slower reaction speed—because of your younger age—not making you close your eyelids quicker. your eyes watering as you wail out, getting the attention of your mama but not the jean-wearing boy’s attention as you hear his mom telling him to stop. apologizing is simple for your younger self, just a plain “sorry” is okay. but when lee heeseung—who you consider your friend at that time—said “sorry” with a grin on his face, you caught onto the impression that he was not sorry at all.

at age 7, you came back from the cafeteria to your class to find heeseung and his gang of boys pulling on a girl’s hair, the familiar sadness showing on her face as you caught her eyes. you’ve known that they’ve played “dirty” and have been teasing other girls in your class before—just not you, which is strange in itself. with a tense set of hands, you push the boys away with your might and stand in between them, helping the girl who cowers behind you. you look down to watch heeseung on the floor, teeth showing and face crunched as he sees the scratch from when you pushed him near his elbow.

“what was that for?”

“to stop you. she doesn’t like it.”

one of his boys helps to pick him up on his feet as you can see him limping. your arms still wide as you protect the girl as best as you can. he pushes his sweaty bangs off his face as you can define the same gaze he had given you when you were 5 at the playground, now fiery. and you exude the same thing with your glare as you see the other boys helping carry him out to the nurse's office, his eyes staying on yours as you feel the girl’s hand holding you back from not walking after him again.

stickers become score markers as you and he tried to compete to get the most out of them, which comes with being nice and clever during classes. you were 10 when you had the same class as him once again, having to compete to be the quickest when raising your hands. but also the lowly giggles you give each other as you both realize just how wrong each other’s answers that comes with the teasing annoyance. it also comes in gym class as the teacher divided you up into different teams during team games—basketball being the most competitive as you are familiar with it. heeseung doesn’t hesitate to run towards you if you have a ball and try to dribble it across the court, pulling it as you try to pass it to your teammate, resulting in a tug-of-war where you both just don’t want to let it go. even with the whistling from the teacher as one teammate gets a hold of it to continue the game, you instead continue to have a screaming match with him.

it continues through middle school as you remember him not hesitating with his power to slam his dodgeball at your stomach during another gym class, making you curl up on the floor as your friends help you to the nurse's office, hearing him screaming “that’s what you get from stealing my lunch” as you remembered the taste of the chocolate bread you pick up from his tray yesterday. at high school as you and him argue in front of the vice principal about each of your club’s fundings, him with his basketball club who is already so successful with their winnings money that they can’t seem to let go to help other clubs who are staying afloat. even with your school having pride in the basketball team and other sports club achievements—making it a staple for the students to watch at least one game during their high school years. you never went to one as you rather babysit your neighbor’s kid for money than watch heeseung’s smug smile as he won another mvp trophy for that tournament.

when college came and you got into hybe uni as a business major, you didn’t expect to see heeseung on campus. you’ve known that since he focuses more on basketball in middle school, you are winning when it comes to academics. but when his smirking face tells you he got into hybe with a full scholarship because of basketball, your heart plummets into the fathoms. you were glad that he’s not in the same faculty as you, but the college environment is so small that your acquaintances recognize each other. you can’t seem to stay away from him who still has his smart for balancing his gpa and non-academic activities.

so when your lips met his own as you sobered up after having the party busted by the police, your mind is telling you to out-better him in lust and pleasure.

“who can make each other cum the most? never thought of you as that filthy, (l/n)”

the grip of his hair on your hand tightens as he trails his own to get a grip of yours. both of your heads now straight as you can’t look away from each other even if you want to.

“i take that you’re saying that because you don’t know how to make girls cum with your dick, lee.” you chuckled. heeseung’s gaze is still meeting yours as he pushes your head forward, making your forehead touch his as he mumbles something only you can hear.

“i know i can make you cum on my dick just by the way you’re clenching your thighs, baby. how do we tally the score?”

“start a kiss on the lips when you know you can’t hold back?”

“deal.”

“by the way, who won?” heeseung asked, leaning his body forward on the table as you peer down at his position from you, holding yourself as you stretch your back to help with the pain.

“how many times did you cum? and don’t fucking lie.”

heeseung’s bed is rocking beneath you as he folds you up in half, your knees on either side of you as he pounds into you. gasps fall out of your mouth as you pull on his hair, something you realize he likes after the amount of groan coming out of him from when you tug him. praises come out of your mouth as you try every method you can to turn him on first; to make him cum first. but the way he is pushing down on your abdomen makes you clench harder.

“look at how you’re clenching onto me. you’re close, aren’t you?” he whispered as you felt the breeze blowing onto your saliva-stained neck you are certain had hickeys on it. heeseung had to remind himself that he couldn’t kiss your lips, no matter how delectable they were, changing to kissing your neck.

“n-“ you moan as heeseung’s hand traces down to grip your ribcage, pulling you closer to him so he could find another angle to reach you deeper, pleasuring you both in return. “no.”

“don’t lie to me, (y/n).” his head pulls back from your crook as you watch his bangs faltering from the hard pounding to his mattress. “god, you’re so fucking hot when you’re under me.”

“fuck, just like that.” you retaliate with your own dirty talk, hands holding his waist so he could stay longer in your cavern as you grip him. but when you sense his breath against your skin, nose upon nose touching, the grip on his waist trails up as you cup his face. nodding your head as you feel him getting faster, you pull his head down and make his lips meet yours. you bit your bottom lip as your muffled moans vibrated between the two of you. your body giving up for a moment as he continued to thrust into you, making you let go as you let out a silent scream when you felt the moist gushing against him inside you. heeseung’s lips are unhesitant to kiss between your eyebrows as your body calms down from shaking, eyes rolling back to their original place as you continue to caress his cheekbone before a surge of energy comes back to you. you push him to the side, placing him down on the mattress as your hands grab both of his wrists to rest beside his head.

“i can feel you twitching inside me, hee. i know you’re close,” you said as you bounce on his lap, feeling the way your essence fell out and how much slick is on his penis because of you. as you have the upper hand, you decide to tease him by falling on him slower than the pace you have familiarized, making his wrists flinched under your hold as you click your tongue.

“you like how my walls are sucking you?”

“fuck, yes,” he mumbled under his breath.

“yeah..?” you replied as you leaned forward, making heeseung reach up to kiss your areola as best as he could.

“come on. you don’t wanna cum again?” heeseung asked in such a whiny voice that makes you snicker at how needy he has become. you decide to continue your teasing when you trail your nose along his face as you give a tiny kiss underneath his earlobe where you see the hickey you made on his clavicle. you move your hips so slowly as you feel how he becomes more erect even when he’s inside you.

“you’re the one who denies it yourself. i’m currently helping you here.” you poke your tongue and trace down his adam’s apple to his chest, reaching his nipple and giving it a suck. heeseung’s hip shoots up into you as he wants to take control. your hand moving closer to his palm with the grip that is getting loose as he pushes both his arms to let go of your hold. yet, you pull them back up as you reposition your fingers to interlock with his, withholding what he wants to make you move faster as he thrusts up into you.

you stare at how his doe-like eyes are begging for you after the number of times you have hated and feared the same eyes. how it glistens with tears because of how uncooperative you are even with your pace getting faster. with that, you lean forward as you stretch his hands and place them on your moving hips, letting them go so he can grip it hard as he tries to chase that feeling once again. you drape yourself above him as his blown-out eyes stare right at yours, his orange fiery flame meeting your own blue.

leaning forward more as you sensed one of his hands resting on your back, you brush away his hair that is sticking on his forehead as you whispered the death blow.

“you can cum in me-“

he leans up to connect your lips with his as you understand the signal, making your hips help to stimulate him more. his tongue flicking out and even wetting the skin around your lips as he moans out your name, letting out an exhale as your forehead is on his.

“want to breed you…” he whispered as you nodded, knowing just how much you like cum staining your walls as you give him a peck.

“breed me then.”

as he spoke to you about when he cums in your walls cowgirl style, you couldn’t help but snicker at the memories of his newly known breeding kink and your own creampie kink makes the resulting bun in your oven, making him flick your hand as you stare at him.

“that’s one for you and one for me- what are you thinking?” the way his voice pitches up at the end of the question makes you giggle even more.

“i swear-“ you lean forward as you realize the stage you are in, “the way our kinks create them,” you point down to your stomach.

“with the way your body shivers when i cum in you,” he said as he also leans forward. “i knew you like it. but i didn’t realize how feral you got because of that.”

“how feral we got, heeseung. fucking correct that.”

“oh fuck!” you moaned out into the mattress as heeseung held your hips up when he thrusts back into you from behind. you can sense how every time he pounds into you, his release is coming out alongside him as the wet clapping noises penetrate even the sound of both the cricketing bed frame and both of your moans. his hand goes up to your head and pulls your hair as the other pushes against your stomach, making you bend back towards him as the moans you let out of your mouth are clearer. his lips sucking another hickey onto your shoulder as you lean your head back on him to widen his access. your hands gripping onto both of the hands that are now resting on your abdomen and one on your breast, respectively.

“who can make you feel like this?” the question triggering you right away.

“y-you.”

“say my name, baby,” he said as he kissed your cheeks, making you turn your head towards the side as you opened your eyes to meet his, continuing to pleasure you into oblivion.

“heeseung…”

“go on.” he squeezed your flesh and you bit your bottom lip.

“heeseung!”

the hand on your abdomen leaves to crawl to your nub as your free hand reaches up to his nape, letting you connect your lips with his as best as you can. your body doing gymnastics before it is overcome by your second wave of cum when heeseung stops and twist your upper body to connect both of your lips fully. with his hands enveloping you, you push both of your body down as you let him spoon you.

grinding your hips against him, you reached down to gather both your cums as you give it a lick, making heeseung groan as he helps you push against him. “fuck, (y/n), how are you still so tight?”

“only for you-“ you reply as you shift away, just wanting to kiss heeseung, but then you remember the rules. with your shoulder, you push heeseung so he lays back on the bed as you lie on top of him. your knees folding so you can put your heels on the mattress as you lift yourself up and down on his shaft. you push your hands against is so you can sit and let you see the messiness yourself: both of your thighs are now covered in whiteness as you continue, realizing how sticky your skins are against each other. instead of letting you observe the messiness, heeseung pulls your upper body back to his as he also folds his knees and pushes his heels to the bed, thrusting upwards and making the pace quicker.

both of your moans combine with each other as he rests his arms around your midriff so you can’t move away from him. your head tilts to look behind you at the way heeseung is closing his eyes. as the point of your nose touches his skin, he doesn’t hesitate to turn to you and brought your lips onto his as he gives a few sputtering thrusts before you felt him cumming in you once again, making you fuller than ever.

“and that’s another two for each of us,” you replied as heeseung let out a snicker.

“still a tie, huh?”

“yeah, but we decided on a tiebreaker, right?” he responded with a hum.

with how sweaty, sticky, and tired you both are, you decide to do a tiebreaker with you sitting on his lap in a lotus position. your breath meeting his as both of you work in tandem (with a little burst exerted once in a while) to make any of you cum first and declare to be the winner of this messed-up game you made. heeseung licks the skin below your neck and plays with your breasts as you let your fingers experiment with his nipples and the way your nails scratch against his back muscles. you know that both of you are exhausted because the only sound that comes out is the small moans and whines left over. you looked down to see the messy environment you made between both of your crotches, making you scoop it up as you lift your cum-covered forefinger to your mouth, sucking it in, before pulling heeseung’s head so you can let him taste both of you.

his wide eyes glance up at you as he puts on a show to make you turn on more, swirling his tongue around your middle finger as the hand that was holding your shoulder blade reaches to your face, making his thumb pressing against your bottom lip so you can suck it. your hips grind on him faster, bouncing a few times, as both of your moans are muffled by both of your fingers. pulling your finger back, a string of saliva connected it and his lips as you cup his cheek. heeseung bites his lip as he pulls the thumb out to see your swollen lips. as you stare at each other—thinking back to the past few hours that have gotten you here in this position—you sense something strange within you. something so unfamiliar when you stare at him than the other moments you blatantly glare towards him. with the way he glances around your face as he connects your forehead with his, you recognize he might have sensed the same things too.

you don’t remember who is the first one to reach out, but as both of your lips connect, you let yourself envelop him as he did you. both of you not stopping and helping each other out as both of you cum in quick succession. not letting go of each other’s lips as you both pull away slowly; looking at the string of saliva connecting both of you as you stare at each other.

“we don’t need to discuss that.”

“no, we don’t,”

both of you replied right after the other as you see heeseung looking away from you to glance at the window beside the table. you glance at the condensation forming on the glass of his americano before glimpsing towards the booth where he sat. a duffle bag beside his backpack; you guess it will be for his basketball practice, it is near the college basketball season after all. but as you glance up at the man himself—you notice how different he has been since you were children. the way he muscled up and the baby fat on his face sheds away from the amount of sports he has to consume weekly. but, with all the invisible scars you both inflicted on each other from then until now, you weigh in just how ridiculously complex your relationship is that you don’t know if he wants to agree with it or not.

“well, now that you know…” you started, rubbing your hand against your sweater paws, “you don’t have to contribute to their life.”

heeseung hums, turning back to look towards you with confusion written on his face.

“it’s okay if you don’t want to get involved in taking care of them. it’s hard enough to be a senior-year college student, let alone raising a baby. it’s my choice to keep them, so i have to take responsibility for that.” you grabbed the now lukewarm cup of tea as you take a sip from it, placing it gently on the small plate as you continued with, “especially knowing how complicated we are.” you use your forefinger to point between him and you.

the man’s face is hard to read. he jutted his lips, biting the inside of his cheek as you see him blink whilst looking towards you, trying to get a read on you as well. being 8 weeks pregnant, you just wanted the meeting to end because you have all the other things you need to organize: telling the girls about your pregnancy diets and symptoms, telling the university about them and maybe they could give you leeway with the tests and studies, setting up appointments for with the ob-gyn and the doula of your choice, and telling your parents.

your parents who knew heeseung’s parents.

this will be awkward as fuck to experience.

“and i wish we could have a truce for the next 40 weeks.” you said, already with an exasperated voice that seemed to even surprise heeseung. “with this lifelong rivalry going on and how both of us doesn’t even want it to stop, please just… give me a slack to take care of them as best as i could.”

when you expected heeseung to reply with an okay—knowing your status as an expecting mother to at least give you some slack—you were met with a piercing gaze instead. how he looks between your face and your hidden stomach behind the table. he rests his hand on the table when you watch him considering something, and you didn’t even fucking guess he will do what he does.

“no.”

“what?”

“no. there’s no truce.” he leans forward, recognizing the gaze in his eyes as you just want to punch it out of his face for even thinking about what he’s thinking.

“no fucking way you’re thinking about this.”

“why not, (y/n)? think you can’t take care of yourself enough for the baby?”

your palm is now against your forehead, brushing against your face as it trails down when you let out a groan, “you’re trying to make a rivalry on taking care of this baby…” you let out your guess as heeseung lets out his signature smirk and a voiceless ‘bingo’.

“how? they’re in me, heeseung.”

“by giving them good nutritious food, interacting with them, i don’t know. but i know from knowing you for years that you can’t take care of yourself, knowing you have three other roommates-“

“you also have three other fucking roommates. sheesh.” you shake your head as you lean back. “anything for the baby has to go through me first, you know? i can deny it if i want.”

“then we can argue who’s right. they’re my baby too and i have the right to be involved even if you don’t want to.” your phone vibrates after heeseung’s brash reply as you see the silent alarm of your next schedule of the day. you tug the strap of your bag to your shoulder and gulp the rest of your tea.

“whatever, i have another thing to do.”

“does it involve the baby?”

“no. unless you wanna join my research class.”

you stood up from the booth as you straightened your sweater down, making heeseung glance at your abdomen before looking back at your face. “just so you remember: i’m doing this for the baby, not you.”

rolling your eyes, you flip him the bird as you walk away from him to your only class of the day, making heeseung let out a strangled smile.

-

“what the- what do you mean?”

the game continues as the other three guys look towards heeseung who is obliterating them with his king dedede, the sound of the fighting comes from the tv of their living room apartment as his fingers nimbly move on the switch controller, making the other three characters fly from the platforms as the familiar “game!” announcement calls.

the boys are sitting in various ways; beomgyu and jeongin are on the floor and jimin is beside him. the soundtrack of the super smash bros ultimate is playing in the background as heeseung smiles.

“i’m gonna be a dad.”

jeongin, the closest to the main port of the switch, quits the game as beomgyu lets out another loud shout—outside of the game—and jimin, who is sitting besides him, shakes his body with outstretched arms.

“BROOO!” beomgyu rubs his hand across his long hair as he faces heeseung fully, who is regretting not recording the reaction of his best buddies about this.

“how does heeseung, who doesn’t even like hooking up, get someone pregnant?” jimin asks to himself but also to the others as jeongin now stands in front of him, shielding the tv from his sight.

“forget that. who did you knock up, lee heeseung?” jeongin cuts through as heeseung leans back against the headrest of the couch. a mix of expressions showing on his face cause he doesn’t know if he has to laugh, be angry, be sad, or what else. he lets out a sigh as he picks the right voice tone to tell them.

“it’s fucking (y/n).”

“okay, now hold on!”

jeongin jumps, shedding the stern aura that he just created a few seconds ago. heeseung glances down at beomgyu who has his jaw dropped with jimin gripping on heeseung’s shoulder very hard.

“SINCE WHEN DID YOU TWO HOOK U-“

“shush!” jimin stands up and covers his hand on jeongin’s mouth, not wanting another complaint from the neighbors both horizontally and vertically.

“when?” beomgyu asked jeongin’s questions concisely as heeseung glanced towards the sofa and the kitchen right beside the front door of their apartment.

“you remember the party that got busted by the police?”

“yoon keeho’s party?”

“yeah, that one.” jimin acknowledges beomgyu’s answer as heeseung continues.

“long story short, (y/n) was alone and i went past her, teasing her for seeing that her friends left her behind when the police showed. she was tipsy which she shows by how easily stumbles. so i dragged her with me to our apartment when we escaped. i don’t know where you guys were, but she’s gotten a bit too annoying so i have to sober her up. we talked, and the tension was just too…” heeseung remembers as he was the one reaching for your face, to tell you to shut the fuck up, but the tension melted away before both of you proposes the game that you did. “so, we did it. and she asked me to meet up this morning and told me the news.”

“and what are your thoughts?” jimin asks, making the high-stakes emotions lower as he lets his friend talk about what he is feeling.

well, for heeseung, shock was an understatement. when he heard you utter the three words to him as he asked you what makes you want to meet up, never did he expect that to come out. surely, he has a breeding kink, and he had expected that to happen. but you told him you’re leaving early to get a plan b pill. maybe it didn’t work, but he doesn’t want to assume much about your body. then, he can sense the hidden sheer happiness blossoming within him. he wanted to smile and give you a hug, but then he remembered that it was you. that outside of his bed that night, you didn’t see him as a friend.

for someone who doesn’t hook up with people, heeseung knows how the hook-up culture works. he had heard multiple women fucking his three roommates from within his room and he could use his noise-canceling headphones against them. people might presume he is picky—a basketball jock who stays hidden and doesn’t want to hook up with anyone unlike his younger teammates—but the level of comfort is different when he has to do it with someone he doesn’t know and that’s why he rather stayed away. you? well, you are an anomaly.

though close because of your upbringing, he doesn’t know you outside of what he knows. that you were the kid who broke his truck even after he said sorry for ruining your sandcastle at that playground. that you were the kid who pushed him to the floor back when you were 7. that you’re the girl who he competes with to get the most stickers and not letting go of the basketball even though he stole it from you correctly. that he saw you stealing the bread from his tray as he came back from the vending machine. that you were the one telling the vice principal his basketball club doesn’t need as much money as they do because of their successful run, not knowing that their assistant coach stole the winning money.

so when you decide to create walls from your words, try to spin it so he doesn’t have to care about his baby, he had to say no. it’s as if you’re trying to keep the baby to yourself and not letting him in even though it takes two to tango. so, he found the most relevant way: competing for who takes care of that baby the right way—even if they’re in you. he doesn’t even think far from that thought no matter how ridiculous it is as now he realizes what a logistical nightmare it’s going to be.

“you’re making a game out of taking care of your own child but not your baby mama?” jeongin questioned after hearing heeseung’s rambling about this.

“yup…” heeseung paused, a pregnant pause. “and i need all of your help.”

jimin’s face changes as he hears the way heeseung described his face, rubbing his palm against the creases forming on his forehead as he can’t comprehend how beomgyu easily accepts his role. jimin’s head perks up at heeseung calling his name.

“yo!” jimin replied.

“since you’re the only one out of us who has a direct connection to (y/n) through chaeryeong, you’ll be my eyes, okay? asked about (y/n), how she’s doing, and all that stuff.” heeseung nodded as he expectantly looked at the boy who stood beside jeongin.

“gotcha,” he replied, his eyes wide as heeseung turned towards jeongin.

“innie, you’re my source. find any article about pregnancy and what my role is gonna be as a dad. yadda yadda yadda. all that stu-“

“i do you one better, seung.” jeongin said as heeseung lifted his eyebrows at him, tilting his head.

“my mom is an ob-gyn doctor.”

-

“miss (y/n)!”

“wear this!”

there is sounds of pitter-patters all around you as you sense the weight getting heavier on your figure. a small cape hanging off your shoulders and a crooked crown on your head, you sit down cross-legged against a round table full of toy food and kitchen utensils. girls and boys alike sit on the chairs by the table with their own capes and crowns, playing around with their cups as they all have a tea party—with the other side of the room playing with legos.

“here is your tea and cake.” you see the girl beside you giving the plate of rubber cake and an empty tea cup.

“thank you, princess rami.” picking up the teacup into your hand, you let out a loud slurping noise to drink it, before flinching away as you fan your tongue.

“i’m so sorry. is it too hot?” rami asked as you shook your head.

“i’m okay. thank you for asking,” you replied as best as you could.

“you must be careful, princess rami.” the boy across from her spoke as you tilt your head to him.

“i’m alright. prince yujin. i will be more careful with the tea.” he gave out a smile as one girl called out.

“if we are all princes and princesses, how should we call miss (y/n)?” hyunseo asked across from you.

“well, miss (y/n) should be a queen!” woonhak replied enthusiastically.

“but if miss (y/n) is a queen, should she have a king?” hyunseo continued.

“or another queen. i have two queens at home.” yujin filled in as you gave off a smile with the implication. but then the kids started to bicker with each other as you looked around the room once again.

as you entered high school, you were determined to beat heeseung in another way other than school-related activities. and what other way by being independent and richer than him at a young age? so you raked your head of a simple work that can help you gain more pocket money when one of your aunts asks you if you can babysit their daughter and how she will pay you. seizing the opportunity, you get to take care of your baby cousin as you go to your aunt’s home to help her with her food and stuff. hearing your enjoyment by the dining room table, your mom suggests more opportunities to babysit children of your family members from both sides—to your youngest uncle’s 4-year-old son and your oldest cousin’s 6-month-old baby—you have an array of skills gotten from doing childcare as your mom recommend you to babysit her juniors’ children at work, making you who wanted it for the money now wants it for the children.

it needs a certain level of charisma to charm a child so they can listen to you and with the array of children you had to babysit, you’ve met and adapted as best as you can to all of them. from being the calm tutor for a baby who is training his motor skills to help a child practice balancing on a bicycle, you understand what a child wants under their tantrums. that love you give and the love you accept makes you want to contribute more to childcare. so you started volunteering in non-formal schools and orphanages, helping to at least make their days a little better. and that’s why you worked part-time as a daycare attendant since you entered university as it is a more established institution where you can shuffle your study schedule alongside your work schedule, meeting kids who are being sent here that are still younger than school age. it reminded you of your own childhood and you’re hoping that your inner child could be happy and satisfied that you let her feel that feeling again.

“guys…” your spoken voice cuts their conversations, and they all turn to you. “a queen doesn’t have to have a king or another queen by their side. a queen can stand alone too.”

“but wouldn’t that make the queen lonely?” rami questioned, making you pout your lips as you still can’t comprehend just how blatantly honest children are that it pierces through each layer of your heart to find the right spot.

“yes, the queen will be lonely. but she also has her princes, princesses, knights, counselors, and more around her. love doesn’t always come from one person, it can also come from a group.” you replied, making the group rowdy up as they converse about love and being independent—well, ‘lonely’ as they called it—when you feel a light pat on your shoulder.

turning your head, you see a younger girl other than those around the table holding a paper, stretching it towards you.

“for you, miss (y/n)…”

you slowly pick the paper from her small hands as you observe the drawing. a simple figure made of circles and triangles with different colors. a pink filled-in shape on one side of the triangle with the circle-shaped and another taller one holding the figures hand, a yellow crown-shaped drawing on top of a circle with a smiling face inside.

she drew you.

“awww. this is so sweet and nice.” you return to look at the younger girl, a warm smile showing on your face, “thank you, hyein.” you rub your hand on her hair—something you remember she likes—as her smile widens before she runs away towards her table, where she has a few more papers scattered.

you glance at her before looking at your own stomach, unconsciously rubbing it as you can feel your own child inside you now growing along with time. then, it all came so suddenly when you felt yourself regurgitating, hand coming up to your mouth as you stood up as fast as you could towards the staff bathroom. knocking open the door of the open stall, you kneeled down as you puke out your lunch for today, feeling your gag reflexes kicking in. you sensed a hand soothing down your back as you reached for the flush to drain it down the toilet bowl.

“you okay, (y/n)?” you hear the familiar voice of your supervisor, yoonah, behind you. nodding your head, you reach for the toilet paper and tear it apart as you wipe the remains and saliva off your lips. reaching for the crown that fortunately doesn’t fall when you puke your inside, you hold on to it as you stand up and veer around to the sink to clean your mouth, gargling and spitting out as you wipe the droplets of water from your lips.

“how is it going with the pregnancy?” she asked as you watched her reflection behind yours in the mirror. you nodded your head and chuckled.

“didn’t vomit for the past three days and i thought that was enough, and well, here i am.” you stare at your face, seeing your eyes glistening with tears with the number of times you had to cough out until your phlegm came out. you turn your head to face your boss as she gives you a solemn smile.

“so, i have already talked to hr and we agree to have you reduce your work day to just one per week. you can enter anytime between the weekdays depending on your schedule because you have lots of things to juggle with your ob-gyn appointment. we don’t want to weigh you down more.”

you looked sideways when yoonah didn’t seem to see you being glad of it. though it helps with not exerting your body—as per doctor park’s request—it will definitely reduce your money because of the appointments and others. you haven’t told your parents yet and maybe you can ask them for more money after but with the way your friends have already helped ease your part of the rent so you have enough money for your own diet and consultations; you don’t want them to provide more for you.

“that’s great and all, but what about my pay? can it be adjusted? it doesn’t have to be 200%. like, do I only work one day for a pay of two like usual? or is it the regular one day pay? if it’s the latter, maybe a 25% increase will be great? for the consultations and others…” you said, not realizing that you had a few stray tears leaving out your eyes. nice fucking job, hormones.

yoonah picks up the crown from your head and she places it above your head, straightening it up as it rests right at the top of your head, “i will take about it to hr. you know that i’m on your side with this.” she pats your shoulder as you let out a faint “thank you” and see her walking away out of the bathroom. you brushed the tears away as you wet your hands to help unswollen them, even if it is for a bit. staring at yourself in the mirror, you pull your body up straight as you turn sideways, rubbing your abdomen as you can feel the life being put into you; piece by piece, cell by cell, forming into a human being.

as your feet enter the room one by one, tons of footsteps greet you as you look down to see the crown-wearing kids you are playing tea time with approaching you. their faces showing weariness so explicitly that you feel your heart tugging at them.

“are you ok, miss (y/n)?” hyein—the first one to be there—spoke as she was surrounded by kids taller and older than her. you notice someone holding onto your hand with their tiny one, seeing rami brushing the skin as you feel soothed.

“i am now. thank you, hyein,” you replied, letting your body fall as you kneeled before them, seeing the number of children you have taken care of for the years you had worked here. in your mind, it seemed ridiculous to think of your next move, but in a way that they have taught you so much about taking care of others, it’s proper to tell them yourself.

wiping the corner of your eyes as you feel your hormones acting up again, you speak, “what do you know about your moms?”

“mommy is very sweet to me,” hyunseo replies as she steps forward to stand next to hyein, their height difference looking so cute.

“mom is the one that picked me up from here.” woonhak also replied when you can see his mom’s smile on his own from the number of times she picked him up and showed that same smile.

“both of my mamas are the best in taking care of me and my brothers.” yujin added as there were more children rambling about their mothers, creating a wall of cacophony that seemed more like the background noise you heard each week as you worked. their voices dwindled as you looked expectantly at them one by one, a smile urging them to wait for something to come out of you.

“well, you see, i’m going to be just like your moms.”

yujin was the one that caught on first as he stepped closer and hugged you. while the others still looked confused, he turned around to looked at them and state it himself.

“MISS (Y/N) IS GOING TO BE A MOM!”

“miss (y/n)!”

“no wa-“

you heard the surge of children hugging you as you laughed out loud, seeing yoonah by the door as she also followed your laughter while you were surrounded by the children who were either hugging you or asking you questions.

“settle down, children. miss (y/n) needs a space to take a breather.” yoonah spoke up as she approached you who has a grin on your face.

“you said that you don’t have any king or queen?” yujin said as you felt your cheeks getting warmer, he now held onto the crown that slipped down your head from the number of kids that is surrounding you. while you could feel a hand on your stomach as you looked down to see hyein sitting down—remembering that she also has a pregnant mother with a little sibling on the way for her.

“it, it will be hard for me to explain it to you, but…” you felt yoonah’s hand on your shoulder as you glance at the closest clock in the room—finding the time for them to go home has come. “your moms are waiting for you to go home.”

you push yourself up to stand as yoonah guides the kids to pick their items up by the cabinets as you stand up straight, seeing the children walking around you when you see rami stepping beside you, arms wide open as you crouch down to give her a hug. you felt other sets of arms surrounding you as you giggled, pulling away your arms as the children noticed it.

“i’ll see you all next week!” you stated as yoonah brought all of them to the door of the daycare before opening them, seeing all of them going to their respective parents and guardians as a few of them acknowledged you. you turned around as you started your usual clean-up process, picking up the drawings that the children made and putting them in their own folders so you can give them to their guardians when they graduated, putting back the toys into the boxes, returning the costumes back to the wardrobe as you place the robe and crown you were also wearing, and you wanted to do one more thing, but you heard someone clearing their throat.

“i’ll clean the furniture and floor. you have done so much and you needed to eat and rest.” yoonah told you as you sighed, knowing that you seemed to be hungrier after you vomited out your food.

“thanks, boss.” you winked as she chuckled, bringing yourself to the staff room with the drawing that hyein gave to you—pinning in your mind to collect it with the drawings the kids you’ve taken care has made for you.

when collecting your things into your backpack, you glance at the paper that you printed out from your laptop as you scan the words, seeing your inked signature on the bottom as you see the blank space with the name right across from yours. heeseung’s name.

since he decided to be involved—you remembered while you talked to your faculty about your pregnancy and how they asked who the dad was, you decided to bring him up as a “student from another faculty.” it might make him think twice if he wants to be involved or not because he will get his name pin up on a note somewhere, which will be noted to his coach, lecturers, and more of his status. you are ready to be mentally burnt by the judgment your peers might give you, but is heeseung also ready?

you haven’t thought of the way you’re going to give heeseung the letter when you see minjeong’s name from your vibrating phone as you pick up the things you are bringing home and you hear yoonah talking as she sees you already leaving.

“carpool picking you up?”

“yeah, my roommate and her boyfriend.”

“okay, take care of yourself and i’ll follow up with your request.” you felt yoonah giving you a side hug as you gave a smile and wave when you pushed the door open. you breathed in the outside air to see the dark gray chevrolet camaro parked near the front of the building. walking to the back seats, you opened the door to be met with the music playing as minjeong greeted you.

“how’s work, (y/n)?” she instantly asked as sungchan lurched the car to a drive when you glanced at the bags of things beside you.

“freaking embarrassing. i vomited suddenly when i hadn’t vomited for the last 3 days but the kids reacted to it pretty okay. and i told them i’m gonna be a mom.”

“that’s so sweet!” she said, glancing back from her seat in front of you as she reached to touch you, making you sit in the middle with the console right in front of you as you see sungchan’s playing with the volume of bluetooth-connected car radio play the song that sounds so minjeong—which you can recognized right away.

“what did you guys do today?” you wiggled your eyebrows as you heard sungchan’s laugh from the way he looked at you from the rear-view mirror.

“you know what me and jeongie usually do, eat, shop, fuck, repeat-“

“no, we didn’t fuck today-“

“we did a quickie before we left to pick (y/n) up, winter.”

“okay! ughhh…” minjeong said, rubbing her face in embarrassment before replying, “i brought him to this cafe that has all these criterion collections that aren’t available on any of the streaming services we own. so i bought so many dvds for us to watch.”

“which are?”

“older movies, foreign movies. you did say that you enjoyed watching japanese movies, so i bought some of them for us to watch.”

“fuck, i love you so much for that, kim minjeong.” you replied as you heard sungchan’s little tsk, making you both giggle as his possessiveness is showing at the most ridiculous time.

“so, (y/n),” you hummed to sungchan’s starter words, “you haven’t told me who is your baby daddy.”

“guess!” you tugged yourself forward as your face was between their seats.

“how should i guess when i never see you hook up with people?” he replies as you glance at minjeong who is just watching him, an amused smile on her face.

“what if i say it’s song eunseok,” you mentioned his fellow frat bros.

“eunseok is dating that junior of his he has classes with. and he’s a loyal guy so i don’t think so.”

“what about park jisung? he’s hot in my eyes.”

“you don’t seem to be the kind to hook up with your junior,” he replied, making you squint your eyes.

“zhong chenle? he’s a fellow biz major like i do.”

“you’re definitely not his style.”

“now, that’s rude.” you hunch yourself back on the back seat as minjeong’s giggles compete with the music playing.

“you’re gonna be so shocked if we told you who he is.” she added as you nodded along, “two hints though: he’s our age and he’s a fellow jock-“

“that’s too much, jeong-ah.” you cover her mouth as her muffled nagging rings in the car. you can feel her lapping your palm, tickling your nerves and making you pull away as it’s now sungchan’s turn to have a giggling fit while watching his girlfriend and her roommate bickering. the trip was close between the daycare you work and the apartment tower you rented off-campus—but since you’ve mentioned to your roommates that you’ve been having back pain and vomiting sessions, they decided to help you out by being by your side as they drop you off or picking you up—just like what chaeryeong did as she drop you off to work before going to the dance studio.

so, when you stare out to see the small lobby of your apartment, you’re already with your backpack tucked to you as you open the door of the backseats. sungchan helped widen the door for you before going to the other side to help minjeong with the things she bought from their date. as you stood by the tiled floor of the lobby, minjeong gave sungchan one last kiss on the lips as you heard him say, “bye, babe! bye, (y/n) and hope you rest!”

“see you next week, baby.” the girl said as both you and her are waving your hands at the boy, who has entered the car driving off into the ending sunset of today. stepping inside the entrance of the apartment, you and she enter the empty elevator as you catch a glimpse at what other things minjeong had bought when you see a box from a chicken fast food brand, making your mouth water as you think about it, but you knew that you’ll be nag by dr. park for eating junk food.

pushing the handle after you put the pin on the keypad, you enter and instantly kick your shoes off as you are met with ryujin who is tying her hair up, walking towards you as she helps with minjeong’s bags. the apartment was left as you remembered this morning: a few scattered papers from either you or ryujin’s homework, the weighted blanket by the sofa now folded, and the smell of hot choco on the coffee table alongside ryujin’s laptop as you remembered that she only has online classes today.

“what did you bring?” ryujin wiggled her eyebrows as she rummaged open the bag that you’d seen when she instantly brought it to the kitchen counter when you saw her already cooking something. out of all four of you, you and ryujin are the ones talented in cooking so it’s not a surprise to see her cook for herself, but when you see the large plate that is places beside where the stove is, you know she has been making dinner for all four of you—as only chaeryeong’s the one who is not finished with her work today.

“why did you bring back fast food, minjeong? we promised to also have (y/n)’s diet.”

“that’s my leftover. chan said that the boys had too much stuff in their fridge so i brought it to us.” you then felt minjeong’s hand behind your lower back as she stood beside you, “hope you are okay with that.”

“of course, i’m okay.” you give minjeong a smile. “all of you aren’t obliged to follow my diet cause i know you love red meat, jinnie.”

“it feels wrong if i don’t follow you, though.” ryujin replied as you and minjeong go to your separate ways—she walked to her room while you stepped into the kitchen to see the food that minjeong brought. the chicken was a leftover but you also see her bringing back different meats and seafood.

“i almost forgot to ask you, but can you give me the list of the food that you can and can’t eat? just so i can help with the recipes and so we can pre-made food.” ryujin said as she put her arms behind your back, soothing you as you viewed her making japchae and beef on the pan.

“will do, ryu.” you give her a salute as she gives your cheek a squeeze before you let her be. taking your bag handle as you step towards the direction of your room, the bell of your apartment rings as ryujin turns towards you, making both of you tilt your head as you volunteer to get to the intercom.

when you press the button, the screen shows you someone you don’t expect to see as you can recognize the wolf cut hair you’ve seen while scrolling on your instagram. your footsteps immediately go to the door as you hear the ringing “hello”s from the intercom, opening it up to see the boy you’re trying your best to mask your feelings for with a box.

“heyya, (y/n)!” he replied as you widened the door to gaze at the box.

“h-hi beomgyu.” you give him a small smile as you try your best not to lock your eyes on him. to be having a crush on a boy like him is ridiculous, especially knowing that he is your RIVAL’s best friend. and the fact that you still have a crush on him since high school to then be found being in the same uni as him. if he doesn’t have heeseung by his side, you know you will brace yourself to approach him first. but now with his success as an indie musician, you know you are probably in a losing battle knowing just how spicy heeseung talks about you knowing that he has so many fans aiming at him and how you can’t compete with them—not as much as yeonjun though.

“wha, what’s this?”

“it’s for you.” he pushed the box towards you as you tried to peek inside when you felt a presence behind you.

“let me get that.” another pair of hands open by your side and you see the smirk on beomgyu’s face falter to see ryujin pulling the box against her.

“hi ryujin,” he said, a slight tremble in his voice as you finally be able to look at him with your heart eyes before back at ryujin.

“beomgyu,” she replied before leaving the door to put the box away. you eye the boy who is staring at the empty space for a few seconds too late before you are back in his attention, returning to the cheeky smile you adore.

“thank you for that!” you felt your palms getting sweatier than ever, rubbing one of them against the door to dry it.

“you gotta have to thank heeseung for that.”

the way beomgyu named he-who-shall-not-be-named shutters your fantasy as you were met with the reality. of course, it’s from heeseung, not from the boy you had a crush on—even if it means that the baby daddy trusts his best friend so much to tell him that he is having a baby with his rival. beomgyu seemed to be the nicer guy between the two. so, a girl can hope, right?

“oh yeah, wait for a minute!” you were so caught up in the way heeseung terrors you and slips back into your mind and how you wanted to slam the door when you heard his name when you remembered the paper that he had to sign. you pull the paper out of your folder as you pull one of your sticky notes and write a simple note to him. giving a smile to beomgyu, you handed him the paper as he stared at the words printed on it.

“give it to heeseung and send it back to me after that, or if he wants to submit it himself, then that’s fine. i have to give the contact person the info if he decides to send the paper to the administration himself.”

beomgyu nods as he chuckles at your note before giving a last “i will” before walking and waving away, making you close the door as you wonder how did he know where you lived. eh, that’s fine. you got to see what heeseung gave you as the box rested on top of the counter right beside ryujin who was pouring the japchae into the bowl.

slowly opening it—scared that he might have a jack-in-the-box mechanism inside it—you were met with plastics covering greens as you tugged a few of them out to be met with a bunch of fruits and vegetables still packed in their grocery’s packing. your shoulder meets ryujin’s as she took a glimpse at the new ingredient you picked out of the box.

“from beomgyu?”

shaking your head, you feel a piece of paper inside the box as you pinch it between your fingers. straighten the creases, you see the scribbles on the note as you read it in your mind.

eat them for the baby’s health and your own sanity - lhs

“heeseung,” you replied after you finish. ryujin gives a small hum as you catch the smirk on her face before you shove her with your shoulder. both of you open the plastics of the greens, vegetables, and fruits that heeseung bought for you, ryujin saying out loud the names of the greens as you and her bounce ideas of what kind of food she can make to cater to your diet.

“kale, cabbage, broccoli…” she picked another vegetable, carefully pulling away the plastics as the waft of the smell entered the kitchen. you knew of the vegetable, but being pregnant equals being sensitive to smells. and the way that you instantly wretch at the smell makes you scurry away from ryujin.

“hey, who rang the be-“

minjeong was pushed away as she saw you opening the door of their shared bathroom, making her turn around as she heard you wretch out the remaining food and saliva inside of you that is followed immediately by a flush from the toilet bowl. she walked to the kitchen to see ryujin holding stems of leaves on her hand.

“well, now we know she can’t eat arugula.”

the chime of the lock unlocked rings alongside the opening of the door of their apartment as ryujin and minjeong stare at it, seeing chaeryeong trying to breathe as she takes off her sneakers.

“WHY IS JIMIN PESTERING ME ABOUT (Y/N)?”

-

thumps and squeaks are what beomgyu heard as his eyes gazed at the lights coming out of the gymnasium. his feet working in tandem echoing through the night as he took another glance at the paper, another step away from the door as he pulled the handle to see a bunch of boys running around the wood-floored gym. beomgyu’s eyes searched for heeseung as he bit his lips, not wanting to be late for his own band practice with the boys.

turning towards the bleachers, he’s seen one of the boys that beomgyu remembered being on heeseung’s profile. his hands on top of his knees as he leans forward to see the 3 x 3 half court game beomgyu realized isn’t a part of training—but more of them having fun. he is taking a glimpse at heeseung who is muttering a curse word under his breath because the ball was stolen from his hold.

“hey, uh, sheep!”

the boy turns towards beomgyu with squinting feline-esque eyes before they widen, realizing who called him.

“your jersey has ‘yang’ on it. so i called you sheep.”

“nah, that’s okay. you’re beomgyu hyung, txt’s guitarist…” the boy stands up, their height almost the same as each other, but beomgyu knows that the kid can grow taller—from both basketball and his unfinished puberty phase, probably.

“i’m jungwon! i’m guessing you’re here for heeseung hyung?”

beomgyu glanced down at the paper as he nodded, “i couldn’t stay until he finished cause i have band practice. so, this document is for him to sign.” he told jungwon what you told him as his ghost patted himself on his shoulders for being right. beomgyu uses his thumbs to point behind him after jungwon picks up the paper that he pushed towards him and gives him a thumbs up before a loud "thank you" rings as the gymnasium door opens, leaving jungwon with a slight chuckle creeped out of his lips.

the boy couldn’t stop his curiosity as he turned the paper so he could read the writing, skimming it down as his eyebrows as he couldn’t stop his speech before it was too lat-

“HEESEUNG HYUNG IS A DAD?!”

jungwon’s shout makes movement screech to a halt as he looks up at his boys, also staring at heeseung, who is glaring at jungwon and the paper he is holding. but, his reaction speed was too slow to pull it off his grips as heeseung lost against the other five boys who had huddled towards jungwon.

“shut up!” sunoo exclaimed.

“it’s true, sun,” jongseong replied as he could hear jaeyun and riki screaming and laughing before they scurried to run around heeseung.

“who is this (y/n), hyung?” jaeyun speaks into his ear, making heeseung grimace as the three walk towards the crowd with sunghoon now holding onto the paper.

“isn’t (l/n)(y/n) your senior, jjong?” sunghoon calls out, making said boy read carefully the name with the signature on top.

“oh yeah! we had a marketing communication class together. didn’t know you knew her, hyung.”

heeseung steps in between them as he snatches the paper out of sunghoon’s grip in a quick frame. his eyes scan the paper that is written—the letter to the university administration about your status—and he can see his name printed on the side of the paper from yours. then, he finally read the note you have sticking onto the paper.

sign it and give it to the administration office. if you’re serious.

“won, it’s your turn to play,” he said as the boys stared at him. “i have things to do, plus i have a morning class tomorrow.”

“okay, hyung.” jungwon’s answer was followed by his offer to the older boys to continue the match as he felt another hand holding onto his forearm, turned to see the youngest boy with a small smile on his face.

“you gotta have to let us meet this (y/n) noona. i bet she’s pret-“

“go back to your place, riki-kun. jake’s calling for you.”

“hey, lanky. come on before i make you and jungwon switch.” jaeyun’s voice penetrates through the conversation at the correct moment as the smirk on heeseung’s face is growing. they’re leaving him alone as he walks towards his backpack and duffle bag—finally feeling the surging soreness from pushing himself hard while training and off-training. sure, it’s excessive. but the tournament is a month away from now, and he had to train for that, knowing that the matches would be back-to-back if he passed the quarter-finals.

the wood of the bleachers screeches beneath his body as he pulls out his pen, staring at the paper one last time—trembling breaths coming out from him. who knew that a single signature could hold so much power?

yet with how you are trying to deter him, to remind him that signing this will mean that the whole university will now know lee heeseung is a future father: that actually made him shake. he could feel the boiling anxiousness giving a few pumps of steam into his mind, clouding the plans he had already made in his mind from the information jeongin told him. he knows the future scenarios on both sides.

but fuck it, right? he’s not usually caring about what other people perceive. so what if he is known as a dad in nine months? but, he had to think about the parental leave you’re proposing—it might actually make him graduate late.

yet, the view is clear as he lets his pen glide on the paper.

the baby and your scowling face as you realize that his doing is the one that makes that baby so healthy.

tucking the paper in between his laptop and his wireless earbuds on his ears, he waves goodbye to the boys who are playing with sunoo giving a beautiful lay-up before he pushes the door to get out of the gym. the streetlights shining the pathways as he still can see students roaming around the campus at night—most are going to the library to maybe pull an all-nighter.

the screen illuminates his face as he scrolls down at the text jimin had sent him about you. but he had to do another victory lap first when he dialed the generic full name’s number.

“hello?”

“that will not work, (y/n).”

heeseung heard the grainy chuckle in his ear as he let his muscles’ memories take him home in the night's dark. eyes staring at the path that opens up onto the sidewalk where sparse vehicles are going about on the asphalt streets.

“so you sign it?” he caught the way you sigh against your phone while heeseung is focusing on both the conversation and what jimin texted about your condition.

“and i’ll be giving it to the office.”

“hmm, okay…” heeseung’s eyes scan through the words, letting his face contort and relax as he consumes it to his mind before it’s broken by a grainy sound of metal from your end.

“also, thanks, by the way. for the arugula. made me vomit my stomach out.” heeseung heard you reply as it slowly became more mumbled, hearing you eating your dinner’s food as the noises of the night came back into his cochlea, shaking his nerves as only white noises entertained him as he looked around—seeing his apartment building at the distance.

“and don’t make jimin ask chaeryeong about me again. she’s traumatized now and we have each other’s number saved.”

heeseung didn’t want to save your number at first. but when his mom brought him to her meeting with your mom, catching up after a long time and discussing that both of you have been accepted by the same university, they insisted that you both to have each other’s numbers saved. “for emergency sake, so you both have each other to rely on.” his mom explained, making him discreetly roll his eyes while you continue to listen to your music without giving a glance to him. yet, you’re the one that gave him your phone first so he can type his number, making a small “:p” the first thing you text to him.

“i’ll tell him.” he clicked his tongue as he caught the way you omit another information from him.

“but you’re not gonna tell me you have a doctor’s appointment next week?”

“how’d you kno-“

“jimin, from chaeryeong, and so, from you.” his smile gets bigger. “gotta have to thank jimin for that one.”

“so you want to join? what if you have a class?”

heeseung’s feet brought him to the lobby of his apartment building, his vision now on the elevator as he stated something so obvious to him.

“i have questions and i rather miss class than leave it unanswered.”

-

your hands are tugged inside your hoodie’s front pocket as you wait for your name to be called. the usual soreness is tamed as you let chaeryeong massage your back carefully, relaxing most of the tender muscles that are holding you up. you can see a little bump protruding out of your stomach that was not there when you discovered you were pregnant in week 8.

remembering the way you have to buy five pregnancy tests is ridiculous when your only symptoms are headaches and vomiting. but it quickly escalates to morning sickness and how you notice just how sensitive your senses have become—the way your fingers realize little grains of crayon as you pick up the kids’ drawing to how you’re triggered by little noises coming out off your room. it feels too strange for it to be food poisoning and with all five tests showing two blue stripes: all the problems you have faced for the past month—why your period is late, the morning sickness—all click inside your mind.

your girls were the first ones you spoke to, recalling how they waited in front of your shared bathroom as you flipped the tests around, hitting you one by one with the truth of your condition. then tears start to show as overwhelming emotions compete to show dominance and you hear chaeryeong’s voice from behind the knocks on the door. you open the door to feel them hugging you as you show them the tests, how they can’t wait to be your baby’s cool aunts from differing perspectives as they know of your history related to children, pregnancy, and motherhood from taking care of so many children, how your parents open up to you about why they couldn’t give you a younger sibling, and the responsibility you are willing to take care for them. at that moment they hugged, you’ve already fallen in love with your baby and you are determined to let them have a happy life.

the obstetrics and gynecology department’s walls were more pastel than the other parts of the hospital. maternity pack posters hanging as you read the words, planning your next steps as you waited by the door to your doctor. your fingers interlocked and thumbs twirling around each other as you attentively listen to the open door and your name being called. scouring your eyes around, you saw a little playground area for kids barren as you eyed the small set, mothers around you waiting also for their appointment—some with a sleeping baby in their hands, another with a large bump. the atmosphere is so serene that you can collect your thoughts and arrange them for the next seven months from your due date.

“hey, (y/n).”

your eyes blink as you turn around in your seat to face forward once again, looking up to find the familiar face you’ve been thinking about for the past few days.

heeseung wears a simple hoodie like you do, both of his hands tucked into the front pocket as the strap of his bag crosses his chest. a thin-lipped smile on his face as you didn’t see his usual resting bitch expression.

“heeseung…” you reply as you gnaw on the inside of cheek as he stands there, “i haven’t gotten the call from the doctor yet. so you can sit down.” your eyes glance quick at the vast space beside yours on the sofa you are also sitting down. he gave a quick nod before sitting on the space beside yours, a noticeable space between the two of you as you both lean more against each of the tables placed as the barriers between the sofas. even if you felt a piercing presence beside you, you tried your best not to look at him. the phone call when he called you was the last time you spoke with your voice to him—you having small talk with him as he found in the hospital doesn’t really count—yet he still gave you another box of ingredients for your unborn child this week, no arugula this time.

well, you are glad to see beomgyu more and you don’t mind seeing beomgyu every week if he’s the one that does heeseung’s errands for his child.

both of you stare forward at the doors and wall in front of you, nearing mirroring each other even by the slight twitch of both of you wanting to look at each other. but, also not really. the tension is stronger than when you told him you’re pregnant with his child. the fucking effects of the continued declaration of rivalry as you can calculate how far both of you are willing to push even for the past week and you can guess what you both will push more for the next 7 months.

“miss (l/n) (y/n)?” the door opened as the nurse spoke of your name making you jump up from your seat as heeseung followed behind you to enter the doctor’s room.

“(y/n)!” the young doctor said enthusiastically as you sat down on the chair in front of the desk.

“doctor park!” you answered, cadence matched hers.

“how have you- oh.” dr. park looks at the man entering behind you, looking between the three women in the room and the empty chair near the door before he hears her speak, “is this the dad?”

“yes, i’m the dad, lee heeseung,” he replied steadily as dr. park, who is standing up, shoots her hand out to him.

“i’m dr. park jihyo, (y/n)’s ob-gyn doctor. didn’t expect to meet you as (y/n) said that the dad might not be involved.”

heeseung’s eyebrows were raised, chortling as he realized what you implied, “after she told me, i decided to be involved.” his eyes peek from the side to see you giving a stare with no movements on your lips, sitting down on the chair beside of yours as you want to continue with your appointment.

“well, welcome to your tenth week of being pregnant. how are you feeling?” dr. park asks, looking at you with a warm smile as you see the nurse taking care of your document.

“the morning sickness kinda gets pretty worse and overflows out of the morning. definitely more sensitive towards scent, flavor, and texture. i also have already sensed growth on the bump since it is a bit more protruding than usual.” your hand unconsciously caresses the hoodie covered in your stomach, feeling the tenderness of the skin that is just muscles of your abdomen being pushed to cater to the baby.

“your stomach and intestines are being pushed by the uterus as the fetus grows and it’s very normal. since we already did the blood and urine test and went over your family history back in your first appointment, we can go to an ultrasound to check the growth of your baby.” dr. park replied as she nodded at the nurse who instantly walked to the bed and set things up for your scan.

“i’m sorry to bother you, doctor. but i have a question.”

your head shifts towards heeseung as he asks, the doctor just giving him a nod.

“(y/n) said to me she’ll get a plan b pill after our… time. yet, she still got pregnant, but isn’t that still supposed to work?” the way his voice pitches makes you hold on to a smile, recalling to when you asked the doctor the same question in your first appointment. you gave the doctor a big nod for her signal.

“well, (y/n) said to me she consumed a plan b pill less than 24 hours after your intercourse. but plan b pill, or levonorgestrel, works by delaying the release of the egg from the ovaries. she also said that her period, which started around a week or two weeks before she discovered she was positive, was late. so, we can assume that while you two have sex, (y/n) was already in her early stages of ovulation with the egg being released into the fallopian tube and the egg got fertilized.”

heeseung nods along with the doctor’s words as you remember the same explanation given to you in the previous meeting. you’ve tried using pills before but you know it will affect your hormone and physical health in the long run—you are not a serial fucker unlike a few people you recognize—so you rely on protection like condoms and morning-after pills right after that. heeseung not wearing one makes you want to laugh at how funny the scenario is and how you can just remain rivals for the rest of your life if you remind him to put on the rubber.

the nurse calls for as you follow her, stepping out of your shoes as you lay down on the bed. she gently brushes your hoodie up as your skin is exposed while she also pulls the band of your pants down below right above your underwear line. the chairs move as you glance at heeseung following dr. park as she takes the seat beside you to check on the machinery. the liquid is cold as it touches your skin as your eyes catch heeseung who is looking at the exposed stomach where his unborn child is.

as the transducer spread around the gel on the stomach when you feel it pressed down, you looked at the screen across from you hanging on the ceiling as the doctor moved around, marking the size of your uterus. you heard her gasp as you turned to look at her warm smile that widens into a grin.

“congratulations to you both!” she replied as she continued to move the transducer around, making you and heeseung realize that there’s a fetus inside you, but not just one.

“TWINS?!”

-

2. katana-like knife

heeseung gazes at the ultrasound he is holding with both hands, seeing the way the doctor has assigned twin 1 and twin 2 on the screen. the twins are in different sacs; he remembered what the doctor said, making them fraternal twins. she also says that not only you were ovulating when you two fuck, but you were releasing two different eggs around the same time and he got both of them pregnant.

he recalled both of you doing a hilarious staring contest as you couldn’t stop yourself from making funny faces as the doctor described the growth of your twins. fucking heck, he hadn’t told his friends that he was having twins. how his body trembles as the realization hits him while he’s looking at his babies—yes, plural—makes him even want to be more attentive, to now realize that he had two to take care of. and those two make him know you have to adjust your diet once again.

if it weren’t for him buying ingredients, he doesn’t think you would adapt easily to what the babies need. he’s won on this occasion. but what comes next?

his phone vibrates on the table as he takes a glimpse of the text message showing on the lit-up screen.

(l/n) (y/n): i’m heading home for the weekend. my parents will definitely see that i’ve been knocked up.

even he can see it as he had walked past you before on campus. you’re now wearing more oversized clothing pieces—t-shirts, hoodies, cardigans—as he realized the slight bump on the surface of them. it’s been over two weeks since that check-up appointment and the growth has been faster than he expected.

(l/n) (y/n): not asking you to join me.

(l/n) (y/n): if you aren’t brave enough to take the consequences, i’m fucking winning this :p

“that’s it” he shakes his head as he tugs the ultrasound picture into his wallet before putting it back in its place, hands opening the messages.

lee heeseung: threatening much. i’m in.

if you want to make this a competition, let’s make this a competition.

lee heeseung: hey mom. sorry for texting you randomly. but i’m going back home for the weekend.

all he had to do was wait, as he could hear the sound of his mom talking with your mom on the phone about how their children would be home together, asking to meet up.

and that moment goes exactly as he had expected as he drove the car with you in the passenger seat, leaning against the door as you both let the radio play boring-ass repeating pop songs from some random radio station. none of you seem to react, just to make each other annoyed enough to know who will concede and connect to bluetooth first—even not listening to good-ass music is a competition between you both.

you sighed extra loud as you listened to an old-ass pop song from the mid-2010s the radio seemed to have a lifetime contract for it to play for fucking ever. you wish you were the one driving now, but you didn’t bring your car for this semester because it needed maintenance and you were in a healthier mood for this year. you catch a look at your phone, seeing your mom asking where you are right now as auntie lee has arrived at your home—cooking up the food for all your family to enjoy.

“which one is your car’s bluetooth?” you gave up on hearing the radio station as you playfully checked every menu to find the bluetooth menu.

“the brand of the car, duh,” he answered, still focusing on the highway as you remembered that it’s nearly a few exits away from the side of the town you and he grew up in. he took a glance at the bluetooth speaker as he sees,

“‘mitski’s brainchild personified’? you liked her that much?” he actually snorted, making you see the name on your phone on the screen in the middle of the dashboard.

“shut the fuck up. she’s my comfort musician, just like kaede from slam dunk is your comfort character.” the way your fingers lightly tap against your phone, makes him chuckle as he can hear you holding onto your emotion from not spilling through your words, not commenting on how you mentioned his liking for slam dunk as if you remember it so well, even if it also stuns him.

you’re playing a playlist of yours that is just… instrumentals. a perfect playlist to hear whilst commuting as you let yourself take a breather from this world. eyes gazing to the window outside as you rested your phone on your lap. the scent of heeseung’s cologne accustomed your memories as you let the music speak while you both remained quiet. maybe, because it is an instrumental track that you both couldn’t comment on, that he can’t take a jab at your music taste unless you put on mitski or boygenius, that it gives a soundtrack so vague it resembles the way you perceived your relationship to each. sure, you still hate him for everything he has done to you in the name of winning. but, with two babies on the way, the concept of the rivalry between you both is there yet so blurry. which one is a concrete rivalry? which one is the softer one? why should you trust what he gave to you? why did he join in to take care of them?

the car zooms fast on the highway, yet you can see slower cars on the outside of the highway and faster cars zooming past you on the other lane. it’s like what your dad had said before—"you don’t feel how fast life is until you look at other people’s lives"—and to think that you will be home in overtly large clothing to hide your bump to know that he’s going to be a granddad just concretes the idea of that in your mind. you turn your head to glance at the backseat, seeing the shopping bag you had prepared besides what heeseung also has for his family, who he’ll meet at your house.

stepping out of the car, you stood at the carpool of your house filled with cars—other than yours and your parents inside the garage—when you watched your mom and heeseung’s mom walk out of the porch, barefooted, to greet you. the warmth of your mom’s hug felt so overwhelming that you had to sink your emotions as you blamed your hormones for making you too sensitive.

the interior of the house feels so lively from the last time you went home during the semester break. maybe it’s because of the way your mom has another guest in the form of the lee family and the smell of the delicious you know both of your moms had made together with their aprons still on as they guide you inside. even as they walked to the kitchen, you could hear them whisper.

“since when did (y/n) and heeseung arrive here together and in the same freaking car?” auntie lee asks.

“(y/n) didn’t bring her car this semester so i guess she doesn’t wanna waste any more money for transport.” mama answered.

both of your moms have always tried to make you close and you’ve always tried to tone down your rivalry in front of them, effortlessly acting in front of them as nice friends when you give him a snide look behind their backs any chance you can get. your bickering can escalate so much that you will have a shouting match in the arcade as heeseung doesn’t want to give up his time to play for you, making both of your moms force you to apologize to each other before that bickering returns at school’s classes where they’re not there for you two to mediate. maybe that’s why you don’t perceive heeseung as an enemy. merely a rival; because your mom never talked bad about heeseung no matter what happened between the two of you and it seems that heeseung’s mom has also done the same to him.

the two shopping bags sit on the coffee table as you watch both of your dads talking about dad stuff. heeseung’s attention is on his phone as he’s typing something on the screen while you unconsciously rub your stomach hidden beneath your top, waiting for all of them to settle down around the coffee table as they want to open the shopping bags together.

“what did you bring me?” mama asks in a sing-song manner as heeseung’s mom giggles beside her. you stood beside heeseung with your hands behind you as the husbands looked at the similar-looking gift boxes in each of their wives’ hands.

“don’t tell me. is it the jewelry i showed you those months ago, hee?”

“nah, it’s not. dad’s planning to buy that one for you.”

heeseung’s dad’s face turns into a scowl, seemingly angry as if his son has spoiled his plan while the boy just widens his smile before gazing back at his mom.

“well, together?” mama asked to his mom.

“yeah, 3, 2… 1!”

the box opens as you’re holding your breath, also holding back your smirk as you can view the way papa’s eyebrows crease as he can’t believe what he is saying. heeseung’s mom was the first one to openly express her shock by literally jumping from her seat and box thrown towards his dad’s as he took a good stare at it, making you glance at him you actually won the bidding on who would be shocked first between the two.

“NO, FUCK- WAIT?!” his mom stares between the two of you before your mom jumps from her space to also gaze at you, holding onto the paper. giving him a nudge with your elbow. you didn’t expect him to wrap his arm behind your shoulders.

“yeah… the babies are ours-“

“no fucking way!” your mom actually shouted as she hyperventilates while heeseung’s mom covers her mouth, contemplating on what to do when she felt her body being squished by her best friend, hugging her tight as they turn to hug each other while heeseung’s dad gives his box to your dad so he could see it clearly.

“since when are you two together?” papa asked as you tried to let heeseung’s grip from your shoulder.

“uncle, we aren’t together. we just hook up and-“

“WE’RE GOING TO BE IN-LAWS.” you can hear mama cheer as both of the women twirl around the small space, making you feel even more guilty for breaking the immersion as you stop budging away from heeseung’s hold. rolling your eyes, you stare at heeseung and lean in close to his ear, whispering.

“bad fucking idea…”

“at least they’re happy, right? well, i won because of that.”

mama interrupts both of you as she gives you both an enormous hug while heeseung’s mom comes from behind. you could see the tears coming out of mama’s eyes who rested her head against your shoulder.

“ughh, too tight.”

“stop it, honey! (y/n) looks so uncomfortable.” papa reminded.

“oops, sorry!” your mom lets go of her hold as heeseung’s mom slotted between the two of you as she pushes in on the excess fabric of your clothes, making you grip both sides of your top and pull it backward so she can see your bump already showing.

“hi, baby!”

“it’s babies.” heeseung’s dad cuts in as his wife follows with, “there’s two of them?”

“i swear to god.” heeseung’s old man brushes his face, unbelievable that his wife didn’t see the two sacs from the ultrasound as you give your mom a nod, her hands carefully holding onto your waist.

“fraternal twins,” you confirmed to her as you watched another batch of fresh tears coming out of her eyes.

“hello, you two. you’re going to have the best mom ever.”

“and dad too.” heeseung’s mom replied as she moved to stand in front of you two, seeing his grown son seemingly glowing as she spoke of him being the best dad to his two unborn children.

“okay. i gotta have to make the red meat well done then.” mama cuts out as she hastily moves to the kitchen to cook back her meat-based meal, letting auntie lee replace her place as she caresses the bump gently.

“how long has it been?” she asked as you opened your mouth to reply.

“we did the ultrasound two weeks ago. so it’s week 12 now.” heeseung cuts you off as she gazes back at her son.

“what have you two already prepared?”

“we gave a letter to the university for future parents and they agreed to let me take online classes entering 5 months because i only have three classes, one is that's doing a study case, and they let heeseung have parental leave if i give birth. i haven’t found the right doula yet but my supervisor at the daycare has a connection to one and i think it will be her. she has given me the number so i just have to text her,” you answered.

“is it near campus?” she replied.

“yeah, because i don’t want to graduate late. that’s why i decided to stay near campus during it.” you have thoughts on if you should just take a break this semester to focus on your pregnancy or not multiple times by now. but, of course, the rivalry comes back as you still want to keep pace with heeseung and your friends who will be graduating next semester.

“you should take a semester leave, (y/n).” heeseung cuts off your thought as you peek at him.

“i’ve already got what i wanted from the uni and it’s fine, heeseung. i can keep up.”

“well, you can, but what if you don’t take care of the babies?”

“of course, i can take care of the babies-“

“not by being stressed over college.”

“heeseung-“ you turn your body towards him as you grip both of his upper arms, firm hands holding him as you stare down at him. “i know what’s best for me. i know what my limits are. i’ve trusted you enough with the food but you should also trust me to know how to take care of myself outside of nutrition.”

your teeth are grinding against each other as your fiery gaze stays on him, even as you let go of the grip. it stays for a few more seconds as you turn back to head to the dads who seem to be forgotten by the sofa, seeing papa teary-eyed as he hugs and kisses your head before you let heeseung’s dad hug you.

his mom turns towards him, cupping his cheek. “she knows what she’s doing, heeseung.”

“but how should i know it’s right? cause that’s not right for me. my friend’s mom said that a pregnant woman should focus on preparing herself for her birth and doing college doesn’t seem to prepare her for that.” heeseung sighed as he looked at his mom, not expecting a slight hurt on her face.

“i was still doing my job when i was pregnant with you, heeseung. your dad trusted me for that cause he knows my limits, might be even more than i do. let her be and you might learn that she knows how to take care of herself, too.” her hand brushed away the fringe on his forehead, eyes glistening as she let out a small warm smile at him. the hurt falling away as heeseung sees her mom’s signature smile of knowing before she brought him in his arms, hugging him tight as he glances at you who is giving him a small look with a tight-lip smile before you turn away to the dining room.

-

heeseung stares at the glow-in-the-dark stars sticking on the ceiling. his back being stretched out on the floor as he laid on the comforter beside the single bed where you’re still playing with your phone. he remembered how he begged—trying to persuade—his parents to bring him home with them. but knowing that he’ll only be staying for one night and you two are “together”, they decide for him to stay with you instead. you can see how his fuming breath was held as you glanced at him with an unidentifiable look at the dining table, his parents believing you would let him stay in your bed.

but he insists on lying down on the floor, knowing the history between the two of you they don’t know, as you silently agree.

printed pictures still hang on one side of the room when he looks at them as long as the bedside lamp is still on. he remains silent, eyes tired from looking at his phone so much to distract him from his reality when he hears the rummaging movement on the mattress as you put the phone on the table.

“well, night, heeseung.” the click of the lamp is big in the white-noised room as darkness envelops the space, letting in the moon and streetlights outside beam their shine inside. your eyes easily adjust to the surroundings as you puff your one-less pillows on the bed to find the right position—knowing the ache of sleeping in the wrong position when you are carrying two fetuses inside you.

“since when did you work in a daycare?”

the man’s words overcome your action as you brush the cover of the pillow.

“why do you wanna know?” you put the pillows in the right position as you lay your head and back against it.

“since your mom proclaimed that you’ll be the mom ever.”

heeseung is reminded of the way you look when your mom says that, a look of pride coming out of your eyes as you unconsciously nod knowingly. even if you and him are close by proximity—by being your moms’ children, by being schoolmates, by having roommates who stay in proximity with each other—there’s still something that you don’t know about each other. because if the opposites know, they can use it as leverage to bring any of the two down.

“had a few babysitting gigs during high school days. i started to like it more and decided when i go to hybe, i’ve volunteered for a non-formal school for children and more. i decided to do a part-time job at a daycare and yeah…” you replied, laying down by your side as if you could see heeseung beside you when he is, in fact, below you.

“it doesn’t match with your major though.” heeseung gives a snide comment as you sigh loudly.

“so what if a business major can’t connect with my passion for childcare- fuck me.” you stopped to remind yourself to stop taking the bait from heeseung because you know he was making these comments to break your confidence within yourself. you could discuss how making and taking care of a business could resemble making and taking care of a child, but with the way he had pissed you off today in more ways than one, you rather stick that thought to yourself and instead, take offense towards him.

“why did you wrap your arm around my shoulders?”

heeseung glances towards the bed, seeing your silhouette on the top forming a dark shadow because of your comforter shielding it.

“i had to. so they know the babies are ours,” he replied with the thought that first came to mind after he already had his arm behind you—blaming his underlying consciousness for doing that.

“and it makes them believe we’re together when we’re not. look at us now.” both of your arms stretch out of the comforter to tell him just how big the situation you got yourself into cause how many white lies must you tell your parents to hide that this is because of a hookup, not because you are romantically linked?

your staggered giggles drop as you try to glance downwards at him, the arm nearest to the floor left hanging as heeseung didn’t comment on what you said. “well, this just got more complicated.”

“our situation is complicated since the start, (y/n).”

“well, i know who to blame for making our strings get more tangled with our parents cause fuck you, heeseung.”

he saw the lone middle finger standing tall from the silhouette of your figure before you picked yourself up and lay all your weight on the bed, turning the other side as heeseung followed; both of you staring at the opposites of the room, knowing that your bodies needed to rest so you can face each other again in the morning.

the time between that night and how you both lived after you went back to your own places near campus was a week when you texted him about the doula that you had told at your parent’s home. the car was left in neutral with the handbrake lifted as heeseung waited at the daycare where you work. his eyes gaze at the differing modes of transport each guardian is picking up the kids with before looking at the lobby as he sees you and another attendant saying goodbyes to the kids. he watches as a few of them hug you and even a few let their cheek rested against your growing bump before you take a glance forward at them who is going back to be with their parents, noticing his car for a few seconds before you return inside to take your items.

the backpack is hanging off your shoulders as you take another sliced fried potato from the container when you enter the passenger’s seat beside his driver’s one, resting your back against the seat with your bag there to support you. “hello! i’ve sent you the address, right?”

he stares at you with his squinting eyes, “you should not eat that.”

“it’s cravings, heeseung. it’s totally normal. the doula can count me on that.” you chew another fry as heeseung lets out a mumble under his breath as he moves the handbrake and puts the gear to drive, reeling the car forward as he drives you to the doula’s office. both of your moms have suggested several doulas for you to choose from, but you reminded them you’re having twins. so having a doula who specializes in taking care of moms birthing multiples will be helpful as it is also your first time.

playfully, you fly a french fry like an airplane towards heeseung as he drives, like the usual time you try to feed kids at the daycare. it nudges against his lips a few times before he bit it, pulling it off your fingers; making you let out a chuckle cause he can’t even resist it himself.

the parking lot was pretty barren as you only saw a few vehicles when you both walked out of the cars. you adjust the backpack once again on your back as the chime from the car tells you it is now locked as you enter the office building.

thanking the receptionist, you and he stood in front of the doula’s office as you knocked the door.

the door opens as a soft-spoken woman says from the inside, “miss (l/n)(y/n)?”

“yes, i am.”

“oh, come in. come in.” the door widened as heeseung could see the things inside the large office room. a desk in one corner and a cabinet stood behind it. accolades and certifications by the desk with a sofa on the corner beside the door. a box of what seems to be baby toys beside the sofa as posters are hanging on the wall. from the anatomical look of a baby inside their mom’s uterus to words of encouragement towards mothers.

“i’m haseul. nice to meet you.” the woman shook your hand as she then glanced at heeseung who was still wandering around.

“oh, uh, this is heeseung, the babies’ daddy.” you refer to his name as he looks at the lady, shaking her hand as she looks between the two of you.

“so, both of you aren’t married or dating-“

“no, we’re childhood friends and hooked up, and this happened.” heeseung blurts out as you raised your eyebrows, poking your tongue in the cheek. haseul nodded her head as she let both of you sit down in front of the desk.

“first, congratulations on the twins. you must be nervous to find that out.”

“of course, especially as a first-time mom. but, i’m feeling pretty okay.”

“that’s good, i’ve also sent you the questionnaire for you to fill on your plan for giving birth…” haseul’s voice traces out as heeseung glances at the portrait frame of her holding onto a baby with a mom, a glance at the book about post-partum, and a baby doll on top of the cabinet right in front of a corner window. he could only catch onto some words he recognized from jeongin telling him—birth, dilation, cramps, anesthesia, cesarean—as he sensed himself getting overwhelmed, especially when he had the second preliminary match in two days and his gig in being the documentation for a baseball match for hybe uni too.

his thumbs caressed his fingertips as he sensed the sweat forming on his palm, the same feeling he has every time he has to go to match. to then realize just how ready you seem by how eloquently you say the words for your requests to the doula like you’ve grown up much more than he is even though both of you are the same age. sure, he felt the leverage the first time when he sent you food and a few tips he makes beomgyu do; but his knowledge couldn’t compete with yours and it scares him to know he is losing his stance from above you. to know that you’re much more ready than him.

“heeseung…” he heard someone calling for him, before something wrapped around his wrist, taken aback to see you brought him back to the room he was in.

“sorry… what did you say?” heeseung replied as haseul gave him a warm smile.

“i’ve heard from (y/n) that you have known some knowledge of pregnancies but i could give you some sources to read because it is your first time as a dad as well.” the woman said to him calmly, looking at heeseung as if she can read his body language. your hold on his wrist stays as you rub the inside of his wrist with your thumb. “we have also discussed that (y/n) will try the normal route with water birth and if she can’t handle it, she’ll be going with cesarean. we could also do an appointment every two weeks as both of you are students now, but it is best if you come so you can understand each process as she is entering the second trimester.”

“i understand. i’ll try my best to set my schedule so i can join her.” heeseung glanced at you, who was giving a nod before you let go of your hold as he seemed to be anchored back in the room. the woman gives a small smile as she starts a lecture on the process of pregnancy, childhood, and parenthood. another class that heeseung doesn’t want to get in the first place, but knowing his determination to be the best dad ever—as what his mom believes him to be—he follows along with writing notes in his book as you have with your laptop. the class that he has to pass so he can take care of his children as best as he can.

-

even with the music booming from around his space, heeseung still felt like something was different. his eyes rested on the plastic-colored cup filled with a concoction of alcohol he didn’t know—he could taste the gin and what seemed to be fanta in it. the sigma mu’s frat house lits up in motion as he eyes the way the expensive big-ass speakers are scattered around the room, gazing at the familiar faces of his peers and juniors he has seen while walking around campus.

something stirs within him as he eyes his friends who are here—beomgyu who is by the speaker as he talks with the dj, jimin with his dance crew friends, jeongin with his class friend, while heeseung sits with sunoo and sunghoon on either side of him. that’s when he caught onto the silhouette of some familiar faces every time he comes across a certain person; every time he comes across you.

“excuse me, gang.” heeseung would like to thank himself for being able to stand up so stable even with the nearly empty cup, excusing himself from his basketball teammates to walk towards the frat boys of sigma mu to find the vp and his girlfriend by his side.

“winter…” he calls with the nickname he heard you and others call her before as said girl turns towards him with her boyfriend’s arm still behind the sofa.

“lee heeseung.” she spoke out with a grin on her face, “what makes you come in front of us?”

“i was wondering,” ‘fuck it’ heeseung drinks up the whole liquid that remains inside the cup, hoping that his alcohol tolerance still be able to support him to be stable, “has (y/n) ever talked to you about a doula check-up or some other thing?”

“she should’ve told me if there’s gonna be a checkup but i don’t think there is one nearest from now.” minjeong replies as she lets sungchan take care of her drink so she can comfortably talk to the boy in front of them.

“ah, really?”

“yeah!” minjeong replied before giving another smile. that’s when someone crashes to wrap their arms around minjeong and sungchan, making the two jump as they turn to see ryujin’s head between both of them before giving minjeong a peck on the temple.

“hey, (y/n)’s baby daddy. whatchu up to?”

heeseung chuckles as he looks between the two girls—”no wonder you have them as your friends, all of them are similar after all”—before he opens his mouth.

“just checking what’s (y/n) up to-“

“well, she’s not here. for your information.” ryujin lets out a smirk, “you must really wanna talk to her about something.”

“a doula appointment.” sungchan replied, “and you know how (y/n) is about…” the boy glances at, “him.”

heeseung’s teeth grit against each other as he senses they are hiding something from him. maybe because of your doing so you can prove to everyone that he isn’t as committed to his children as he spoke about.

“you and minjeong aren’t home, so i presume (y/n) is with chaer-“

“someone’s calling my name?”

heeseung sighs as he turns towards the voice of chaeryeong who is holding two cups of drinks as she gives one to ryujin.

“he’s asking about (y/n).” minjeong nods toward chaeryeong when she lets out a small ah before turning her head to stare at heeseung.

“since chan here invited all four of us at the frat party, she really wanted to be here but, of course, cause she’s preggo with YOUR children, she couldn’t. but all of us went out of the apartment together and she was holding a duffle bag of some sort.”

“where is she going?” heeseung doesn’t hesitate to ask, making your three friends look at each other and giggle.

“you seem desperate enough. she’s at the park near our apartment complex. she complained about needing a light workout because of how much her back is hurting.” ryujin said as heeseung could picture the park, knowing where you lived because he had picked you up for your trip back home for the weekend.

“okay, thanks all of you.” heeseung places the cup on the table beside the sofa where minjeong sits and turns away, letting the sense of fresh air flowing inside the frat house guide him to the nearest exit as he arrived on the pavement, feeling the stuffiness inside him getting lighter as he gave a text in his group chat he’ll be leaving early.

the walk there was pleasant, to say the least, because the suburban town the campus is in is pretty sparse compared to the city where heeseung and you live. there is enough place for it to be called a big town but not enough skyscrapers to be called a metropolis. and with the inconsiderable amount of apartment complexes available near campus, he already pinpointed the park where you might be.

crossing the black-and-white stripes, he arrived at one of the entrances of the park where he still could see a few people doing their activities inside—night jogging, playing chess under the streetlights, and a couple who was on a date. he was reminded of what ryujin said about how you might need exercise, but the duffle bag says to him you might stay in one place rather than walking around the park as the main event of your exercise time.

heeseung’s feet instantly brought him to the place that he had gone before in this park as it is the same park near where sunghoon, jay, and jake live—maybe they live in the same complex as you do—when he finds the silhouette lightly jog behind the trees from the path he is on. the sound of rubber meeting the concrete slaps across the night’s atmosphere as he sees you in the middle of the basketball court, wearing a sweatshirt where he could see the bump pushing against the fabric. the basketball bouncing between your palm and the ground creates the familiar sound as you jog toward the ring and shoot your shot. the ball hits the backboard enough that it bounces into the basket.

“fuck yes…” you exclaimed as you grabbed the bouncing ball into your hand, heaving as you brushed the sweat of your skin right underneath the spotlight shining on the court.

that’s when you pick up the scraping on the concrete and clap when you turn around to look at the last person you want to see tonight.

“you still got it,” heeseung commented, making you scoff as you took a few steps back so you stood adjacent to the free throw circle. holding up the basketball between your hands as you tried to remember the position before pushing towards the ring. the basketball curves as it hits the edge of the box instead.

“dammit!”

“you spun your ball,” heeseung replies as the ball flies into his arm, naturally guiding it into a dribble as he walks towards you.

“i didn’t.”

“your wrist was twisted and it makes your hand doesn’t flop straight towards the ring.” he walks towards your side as he shows you the way to hold it, making you glance at the arm muscles that form from holding the ball so much as he throws the ball, creating a perfect arch that it bounces on the back of the rim before it flies and the basket catches its fall. your body immediately reaches for it before heeseung can as you return to your spot whilst dribbling alternating between left and right.

“i know.” you lightly roll your eyes as you grab onto the basketball once again, wiping your sweat palm against your sweatshirt before you feel the right grip as you return to your position, reminding yourself to let the ball fly and not twist your ball before you threw it.

you heard a click of the tongue as you saw a pair of hands reaching to hold yours, making your hand move to the position as you picked up heeseung’s breath beside your ear. startled, your shoulder nudges against his chest as you hear a small “ack” before you throw the basketball, seeing it twirl in the air. you can hear heeseung saying “i told you so.” before it bounces against the backboard, but you are ready as you stride towards it to grab the ball before heeseung catches it and you quickly do a layup, gliding the ball as it bounces right at the small box above the rim as it bounces inside. you turn your body to face him, head tilted with a smug smile as the ball bounces before it rolls to heeseung’s feet.

but the smile falls as you see heeseung who is in his element, walking back to the three-point line and shooting his shot as the ball, once again, creates a perfect arc. the basket catches it into its net as heeseung walks towards the center of the court with a wide grin on his face. the ball bounces near you as you hold it and dribble once more, glancing at it, the court, and heeseung once again as you shake your head, scolding yourself to take things slow for your and your babies’ sake. the sudden epiphany makes your eyelids flutter as you dribble away at a steady walking pace around the court.

your footsteps are met with another as heeseung’s legs stride towards you, a smirk on his face showing as he replies, “that’s why you were put in the point guard position.”

“hmm…” your reply is small as you continue to dribble away the basketball, making you and he walk around the court together before he cuts through the silence.

“why did you stop playing basketball in high school?”

your body stood still as you let your muscle memory do your job of dribbling the ball, shifting your head towards his even if you look away.

“you were, well, it seems to be still are, good at it,” he added.

the memories of your first year in high school from the extracurricular showcase come back as you are already determined to stop playing basketball, focusing on doing something else that you were interested in.

“i got tired of it,” you replied, but heeseung seemed to notice that it was not all the truth.

“and…”

the ball stops bouncing as you hold it against you, wrapping your arm across your front along with the ball as you glare at him and reply, “you.”

“me?”

“yeah, you. i stopped playing because of you.” you turn around and set your eyes on the bench where your bag is. your water bottle calling for you so you can hydrate yourself as you give in.

“really, huh? wow, that was another victory i didn’t expect-“

“fucking hell, heeseung. that’s why- this-“ you gulped down your saliva, “what you become because of it is why i stop. i know our moms are outstanding basketball players at their time and we’ve gotten the signal to be like them but-“ you hold back as you throw the bottle inside the bag, holding yourself down as your hands form fists.

basketball has always been a large part of your life before you were even born. your mom and heeseung’s met because of their love of basketball as they became skilled players together. your mom and dad meet up because of basketball. you still remember the amount of pictures of your parents in their high school days in their basketball jerseys in the photo albums. even if they don’t pursue it professionally, it still becomes a large part of their life as it also spills onto you.

with the amount of time you have interacted with children—as it makes you see your own experience as a child in a different view—many of them like to mimic what their parents do before they form their own sense of self. you can see it with the way one child at the daycare is always playing doctor with dolls, figures, and plushies because one of their parents is a doctor. you were like that. you’ve heard and seen just how impactful basketball is to your mom that you want to be just like her, making you join the teams during your elementary and middle schools.

to see and feel the influence of your rival during practice and tournaments around you was overwhelming.

the tug-of-war between the basketball in between both of your hands is just the beginning of what kinds of rivalry you and him have during practice. even if your coaches assigned you to the same team, you or he, depending on who is first, will reach out to the coach to be put into the other team. even if you two had to practice together, hidden aggression is flying to the roof, which includes passing the ball so hard that it had even made your nose bleed. as time goes on and the many matches you and he have to compete in as you two have to watch each other to “encourage” each other’s team, you had notice the way you fell out of love of basketball because of how there are more bad memories associated with it even if you were being trusted as a captain for one season and scoring many buzzer beaters to let your team and school win the tournament.

“you’ve become so much better with it as i lost interest. i still remember when the coach brought me to the nurse’s office cause you passed the ball so hard that it hit my face. in the middle of practice for the last season in middle school, that’s when i knew…” you take steps closer as you now stand in front of him.

“i knew i’m in a losing battle against you.”

your muscles twitched as you wanted to let out a smirk when you noticed the hidden expression heeseung failed to hide, the little shock he had gotten to show. yet, the emotion that is enveloping you held it down, as you now had to tell him the truth. why your rivalry seemed to expand outside of the scope that both of you are in.

“that’s why i quit basketball. that’s why i decide to pursue my own path even with you tailing behind me to comment on my every move. because i am sick of you. yet, i held back. i had to retaliate, just like what i did on that fucking playground when we were 5. cause i’m not afraid of you even though i know i’ll lost in the end.” you chew the inside of your cheeks as heeseung seems to read your face while letting his brain figure out what you meant.

“that’s why i wanted a fucking truce.”

with the way your facial muscles contort, it hurts you more and more as you feel the tears of pain forming, harboring the feelings you have felt for nearly two decades now. with your hand raised, you wiped the small drop of tear as you let out a huge breath, feeling just a bit of the weight in your rivalry falls off—right along with you.

as you let your body sit on the concrete ground, you push yourself back slowly as you settle and lay on it. heeseung’s conflicted face peeking from your vision while you’re trying to blur it out by focusing on the night sky. though the light pollution is still around you, you can still see tiny specks of stars behind the shadow of clouds of the night. stretching your back on the ground as you let your backbone rest after trying to make you stand upright while carrying two growing fetuses.

eyelids close, you let nature take control in calming your emotions and let heeseung process the information himself. the first time you truly open up yourself behind the mask of your persona—maybe when he stays the night in your childhood room is one as you recall your feet resting against his sleeping figure, contemplating if you want to wake him up or not before gazing at the dusting basketball that you decide to bring back to your apartment after papa helps in blowing more air so it doesn’t sag too much.

the sound of rustling leaves seems to be louder as you rest still, hearing a muffled thump beside you as you open your eyes, looking at your feet to then find another pair lying down right beside yours.

“you’re the one that was throwing a fit and ruining my toy truck after i apologized.” you sighed as you took a peek to see heeseung’s head turning towards you, asserting dominance once again before looking back. you knew that if you replied with the same vibe to assert your own dominance, it would actually break you apart faster than the rate that you are now. however, you have one question that will be the right one to ask him about.

“did you mean that?”

“‘mean’ what?”

“the apology? did you mean that? cause i want you to look at it from my eyes, lee.”

heeseung traces back to that memory when he sees you teary-eyed face and his mom beside him, the boys he was playing with snickering on the side as they saw him getting in trouble with his then-friend. the “sorry” mumbled out of him with his eyes on you but mind on the boys, who seemed to not snicker at him, but at you for being a pissy fit. but, deep down, he knew…

“i meant it.” his reply makes you turn your head, mirroring his form as you let out a slight pout.

“with that smile you were giving? hell no-“ you rolled your eyes.

“i genuinely meant it. the boys that were there, they were behind you and they were laughing at us. i had to juggle facing you and them. i had to look fierce yet still can give you an apology. maybe that’s why you see the smirk that you see. i was a fucking child, (y/n). we’re not as good as we are not in hiding complicated emotions to only let out one.”

your chest rises and falls as you see the apology smirk in a different light. you don’t know if you should easily believe that or not, but after taking it into consideration, you could feel a small part of your inner child healing up before you realize the damage that you also have done to him.

“if it is genuine; i’m sorry, then. about the truck. you know how i felt now and why i did that.” you return to look at the sky once again as you hear the rustle beside you before peeking at heeseung who is also staring into the night, listening to him humming before you return to gaze back again.

“what would happen if i actually have the emotional intelligence to know that you were sincere that day?” your words cut off the silence as you felt the guilt pouring for it to be transformed into humor that was reciprocated well by heeseung’s chuckles.

“well, we wouldn’t have these two.” he playfully poked your belly, making you let out a small shriek before holding onto his wrist as you held his hand down between the two of you and you pivoted your head to see him.

“in all seriousness, i think we might have been the friends our moms see us to be because let me tell you, they see us differently than what we are having.” his words are replied with a hum as you added,

“i notice that too. glad we can be more civil in front of them.”

“we still could, you know.”

with the way you didn’t hold on to his wrist tightly, you felt the limb moving under your touch before his palm rested underneath your own. the wind blows against your sweaty top as it gives you shivers from the cold, hoping that your own temperature and a lifeline can help warm it up. and you can feel it warmer as you see heeseung pivot to mirror you. his fingers slid between yours as if he knew the little shivered breath you led out.

“have each other’s backs. emulate what they want.”

your eyes are galloping to the way the spotlight shines half of his as the other one is cast in shadows from facing the concrete. you could smell a faint scent of alcohol on him but with the life in his eyes, you knew he wasn’t drunk. the way his eyes are also peering with slight twitches as before connecting with your gaze.

pushing one side of your upper body, you cup onto heeseung’s cheek as he leans up to connect your lips. your shoulder is pushing down against the ground as heeseung’s grip on your hand tightens, making it steady as you can hear his muffled hum from your kiss. your fingers curl to hold yourself up better before you feel his other hand reach for your waist and push you down so you both lay on the side.

both of you take turns to take a breath as you sense the tip of his nose brushing against yours. every time you let out a breath, the other’s lips linger before connecting once. your legs curled as you felt the ticklish sensation surging through your nerves before heeseung pushed your lower back so it could stay for one last long kiss before he pulled away. your noses touch each other as you feel his hand on your waist trails to your bump, pressing it down gently as you lean back to see him looking down at the body he is holding. then, his eyes flick back to you as he can sense you slip away, turning yourself away from him as you push yourself up with your arms.

grabbing the lone basketball and putting it in the duffle bag, you zip it up and shift to find heeseung now upright, yet still with his legs stretched out on the ground.

“baby steps, heeseung.” you pull away before giving a small salute.

“baby steps.”

your voice echoes as heeseung watches you walk away, biting his bottom lip before a chuckle falls out of him as he knows he had to text you back his question about the appointment, knowing that you will reply to him.

-

beomgyu breathed out as the elevator opened up to the now familiar hallway, holding onto the box that he had still had to bring even if heeseung already told him he’ll do the next one himself because of what he told him. the box held fresh ingredients that jeongin also pinpoint—courtesy of his doctor mom—on what you should eat, considering now that there are two of them inside you. beomgyu couldn’t help but feel melancholic knowing that this was the last time he’d probably visit your apartment complex as… well…

but, other than bringing you today’s box, beomgyu is here to pick you up for the doula appointment as heeseung will follow suit after practice. even his bandmates are weirded out as to why he has to do the errands, but knowing that they’re in the process of rest mode whilst preparing to create new music and focusing on academics, he allows it, especially with how long he has been best friends with the guy.

he huffs as he positions the box again against his upper body, sliding his pointer finger to the bell as he picks up the familiar bell sounding in the room. but it seems like there’s no one inside. he’s glad that he remembers the pin ryujin has given him as he pushes inside the door to see the clean empty living room of the apartment he has been in countless times when he had to put the box in himself. pushing off his shoes, he walks to the kitchen and places the box on the island counter before rushing towards the intercom to turn off the bell.

that’s when he heard the noise of something familiar.

a guitar strumming sound of chords and the changes he recognized.

beomgyu took tiny steps towards one of the ajar doors in the hallway as the realization of the familiar sound widened his eyes. of course it was familiar to him, it was his song.

the nearly acoustic rendition of “skipping stones” with a familiar voice he had heard makes him peek through the door to find you sitting cross-legged on your bed, holding a nearly all-white guitar as you strum while having headphones on your head, singing the daylights out as your window lets the stream of lights in through the window. he lets you sing as he can see you glow—jeongin had mentioned to him that pregnant women have this whole glow on them. maybe that’s what he was seeing in you. the way your fingers glide against the fretboard with your eyes on it or close as you sing the lyrics makes beomgyu mesmerized.

the last ring of strings strummed is heard from your rumble speaker when you notice clapping from outside of your headphones, making you look up to find beomgyu behind your slightly open door. his clapping turns to hollering as lets out a wide thin smile before looking away; you don’t want him to see you flustered. that is when you realize why you’re here.

“oh fuck, the doula appointment.”

“yeah!” beomgyu replies outside as you quickly tidy the guitar up into your case and you step into your wardrobe to grab some more clothes that are much more appropriate for your appointment.

“sorry, about that. beom.”

“nah, no worries. i can wait.”

“thanks!” you close the door as you quickly change your clothes, deciding for a flowy blouse with a rubber-banded culotte, needing to remind yourself to buy maternity clothes because you are slowly running out of clothes that fit you. you wore a bit of sunscreen as you got a message from mama telling you to embrace the pregnancy glow your friends seemed to notice is exuding out of you as you’re in the second trimester. wearing the eau du toilette that doesn’t make you as dizzy—unlike perfume—you open the door to see beomgyu leaning against the wall where it hangs a frame of you and your roommates in photo booths.

“you ready?” he held his hand out as you nodded, you put your hands out before beomgyu grabbed the strap of the bag from your hold, startling you before you returned to your usual state. if your face isn’t warm enough, it’s now warmer from the embarrassment.

the walk down to his car is silent as he helps with buckling the seatbelt to the side. seeing how much your stomach is rested underneath the strap makes him giggle as you recognize the smell of pot from beomgyu’s very appropriate old sedan car.

“hopefully you aren’t high while driving me.” you give a cheeky grin.

“of course not. heeseung will actually kill me if he finds that i dui with you.”

beomgyu twists the key of the ignition as the car turns on—yes, that’s how old his car is—as the sound of a loud rock song plays from the rock fm you recognized. his hand reaches for the button as you react,

“no need. i’m okay with it.”

he hums as he reaches for the volume to turn the sound down, not letting the rattling of the sound in the interior startle you as he pulls the car out of the parking space and into the road.

“can you check the quickest route to the office?” beomgyu said as he brushed his wolf-cut hair.

“of course.” you lean back against the leather seat as you open the map app on your phone, telling beomgyu the roads to the doula’s office. the song has changed to a familiar song by tom petty playing as you notice how beomgyu glances at you.

“what?” you called out with a few chuckles.

“i didn’t expect you to like my song, well txt’s song.” his reply is met with your own giggle as you lean back.

“even if i hate heeseung. that doesn’t mean i have to hate his friends, you know?”

your eyebrow is raised as he gives another quick look before focusing on the road, “if you don’t believe me, i’ve been a fan of band your band since, like, sophomore year when you formed.”

“why? i really wanna hear from a fan's perspective.”

your giggle warms his heart as you answered, “i just relate to it, ya hear? a band that talks about the hardships of finding oneself and the struggle of growing but in a more intelligible way other, especially ‘skipping stones’ from your newest album.”

both of beomgyu’s hands are on the steering wheel as you feel the brake of the car before turning to the curb of where the office is, parking nearest to the entrance as the car stops and he pulls the hand brake. both of you sitting inside as you waited for heeseung to arrive in a few minutes from the last time he texted you.

“why ‘skipping stones’ specifically?”

“hmm…” you suppressed the grin that is threatening to go out before replying with, “interpreting self-struggle with the idea of skipping stone is… in it of itself, very poignant. to correlate the body of water with your own and the stones you’re throwing as the struggle you’re facing.” you let out a huge sigh, “i don’t know- it’s something i understand, especially if someone else is doing the skipping stone to you, feeling that emotion sinking into you, replacing the water’s place…”

you glanced at beomgyu who was definitely staring at you, his hands on his lap as he let out a solemn smile, agreeing with what you said. you quietly nod and take a sharp intake, trying to find the right words to cut the rising awkwardness between the two of you, “other than that, the freaking dissonance on the harmony is so good. it gives a sense of unbalanced buoyancy as if you’re a leaf floating on the water and the skipping stone makes it unstable. great job on that.”

“thanks!”

“of course.” you nearly slapped yourself for leaning closer to the middle console, but beomgyu seemed to not react as much when you felt a bit of your finger touching his. “can’t wait for the next release. no pressure.”

the corner of beomgyu’s lips rose as he giggled, a boyish grin on his face before his expression changed, “don’t worry, me and the band won’t let the fans down.” he replied as you leaned back, head nodding. that’s when you hear the rumbling of the car right beside yours as you see the appearance of heeseung’s newer model car.

“gotta go. thank you so much for bringing me here,” you said as beomgyu helped pick your bag up from the backseat.

“of course, (y/n). gotta have to thank heeseung for letting me do so, but hey…” you felt his hand reaching and now touching your wrist, making you turn your body while nearly opening the door.

“i've known you since high school but we never hang out together cause of heeseung. maybe we could hang out, with your girls and my guys? if heeseung is already melting his ice down then i think that’s okay for us and our friends to hang out. it’s up to you, though.”

you suppress an amused smile as you think about it. thinking about how long have you been crushing on the boy in front of you and how you wanna shake heeseung a thank you for letting him do the errands, maybe even to your noise-canceling headphones that make him notice just how much you like him- no, his band. yeah.

“i’ll think about it. heeseung and i don’t have a formal truce yet but based on what we talked about last time, maybe it could work.”

“sweet-“

you heard a knocking on the door before you turned around to catch heeseung’s silhouette behind the glass window.

“i’ll talk to the girls so we can arrange a time.”

“me too with the guys.”

“okay, bye beomgyu.” the car door unlocks as you nuzzle the door open while hearing beomgyu’s own “bye” from the driver’s seat. heeseung helps to hold the door as you step out.

“thanks for her ride, gyu.”

“don’t mention it, hee. we might even have to ride with her often.” beomgyu said right as the door that heeseung held closed. the engine turns on as the car drives off the parking. you stand right beside heeseung as he looks at you, who still has a lingering smile on your face.

“why are you smiling, (y/n)?”

he lightly nudges your palm with his as you turn your head to him.

“you’ll see, hee.” as you took off towards the office, leaving heeseung once again alone as he then followed you.

part 2

taglist: @raeyunshm @leilasmom @evidive @boba-beom @kwiwin @endzii23 @fluffyywoo @camipendragon @hiqhkey @wccycc @cha0thicpisces @y4wnjunz @yeehawnana @beansworldsstuff @kimipxl @blurryriki @amazzwon @reallysmolrenjun @stelanity @possibly-zoe0218 @enhypenilycometoaus @jaysupremacy @jungwoneez

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[bonniesbluee]

If ur still taking requests what about like the guys finding out Bob is a virgin or never got a bj one boys night and tease him about it in front of u so of course u change that and take his virginity or give him his first bj

virgin bob ૮꒰◞ ˕ ◟ ྀི꒱ა

you had your suspicions. about bob being totally inexperienced. since your...drunken actions led him to sleep beside you, you did notice his tense demeanor despite your mind being cloudy.

that and everything about him? it didn't exactly scream "experienced".

but you felt soo bad when the guys started teasing him while you all were in hangman's hotel room having some drinks.

"seriously?" fanboy inquired, laughing along the other guys. you shook your head, taking a sip of your drink. "w-well i-" bob started before getting interrupted. "i mean are we really surprised?" hangman chuckled, patting bob's shoulder in the most condescending way. "i mean look at him."

thankfully the topic is dropped. but you do notice the way bob kind of deflates. like he took the guy's words to heart. so you decide to...help? "hey." you say as you sit next to him, your thighs pressing against against his.

"oh uh- hey." bob murmurs, offering a small smile while looking at you. you open your mouth to small talk, but you decide to stop beating around the bush. plus, you suspect that he's far too oblivious for any insinuations.

"look-" you sigh, looking up at him. "i want to help you, i guess. if you want to!" you say, and he tilts his head slightly to look at you. rubbing the back of his neck in slight nervousness. "if this is about me being i-inexperienced then you dont need to do this. i dont want your pit-"

you shut him up with a kiss. and he almost immediately melts into it, as if he was WAITING for it. you grab his hand and bring it up to your cheek, softly kissing him in a manner that allows him to be able to catch up to your movements.

you are the one to break the kiss, and he very quietly whimpers. "follow me," you whisper to him, standing up. he grabs onto your hand and follows you like a lost puppy.

he follows you into your room, and he feels his hands physically start to sweat more. you push him into the bed, spreading his legs slightly. "just follow my lead, 'kay?"

you are introducing him to a completely different zone, and he loves it. he's (involuntarily) dreamed about this since he found out he was your backseater. and now its happening...and all he had to do was be himself!

"what do you want me to do?" he whispers, his legs automatically spreading as he sees you kneeling infront of you. "just grab onto my hair, ill do the rest."

he nods, fisting your hair. you pulls his boxers down, slightly taken a back as his dick springs out, hitting his clothed abdomen. "stop staring," he murmurs, and you cant help but laugh. "sorry. it was just unexpected."

"ngh-" he whimpers as he feels your tongue lick around his tip.

you wrap your hand around his base, wrapping your lips around his tip. "f-fuck fuck.." he groans, his head tilting back as he lets out a moan. "that's so good..." he forces himself to straighten up to look at you. the urge to force your head down is building up, but he wants to let you continue going.

slowly but surely, you take him in your mouth completely. you feel him filling up your throat slightly and its progressively getting harder to breathe. "pleaseee..." he whines and you pull him out of your mouth with a pop.

"are you coming baby?" you ask, and oh your eyes and tone is so sensual it makes him nod like a desperate little puppy. "yes please." bob says as he takes his glasses off. "good boy. jerk yourself off." you coo, getting to your feet to start kissing his neck.

"tell me how." he whispers shakily, and you wrap your hand around his to guide him through his stroking. "fuck yes, just like that." he groans, looking up you with the neediest puppy eyes ever. "yeah you like it? oh i bet you do." you giggle softly before he splurts out cum without announcing.

his hips buck up in the air desperately as you gasp in cue. "bob.." you giggle, nuzzling your forehead into his neck. "next time you tell me when you're going to come, okay?" he tries catching his breathe while looking at you. his free hand gently rubbing your back.

"next time?"

[anonymous-dentist]

Um, It's Kind of a Lot…

Or: Lukey's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Or: Have you considered a supervillain au?

Read on AO3!!! (It's 5k words lol, you might be better off reading it there.)

The Pangolin's design is officially inspired by @imhyperfixatingrn's art!

-

When Lukey steps out of the coffee shop to take his break and he’s immediately met with a gun to the face, all he can do is sigh because, somehow, being held at gunpoint is not the worst thing that’s happened to him in recent memory.

He still has his apron on, and his cellphone is in his hand with his thumb hovering over Newt’s contact (he’s still working out how to actually call people, but at least he knows where the contact list is!) His fingertips are stained brown from coffee grounds, and flour is practically caked onto his right cheek after a mishap with the electric mixer earlier in his shift.

Lukey, these days, is a barista, and a shitty one at that. He’s better with the baking, but the kitchen’s electric oven still gives him problems even after four entire shifts trying to learn it. He does the math in his head when someone tries paying in cash, and he has to fight with the cash register to get their change out without having to put their order into it.

He is a barista. He is twenty-one years old, and he is a community college student, and he is a barista.

“Hands up,” his assailant barks, voice hardly muffled by the black bandana tied around the bottom half of their face, “scientist. And drop the phone.”

Slowly, Lukey lowers himself to the ground. He raises one hand, keeping eye contact with his attacker, and he uses the other to turn his phone off and place it gently on the pavement.

And then the bastard slams the heel of their combat boot right into the screen, shattering it into a thousand pieces.

Lukey looks up at them in horror. “Ex-cuse me? Do you know how expensive those things are?”

He knows. He was there when Newt bought it for him, and his eyes just about fell out of his head when he saw the price tag.

The gun is pointed at the top of his head in response, cold steel digging into his scalp; he shivers and raises his other hand and shuts the fuck up.

“Don’t say a word,” his, what, kidnapper(?) snaps, “stand up, and follow me.”

Lukey nods shallowly.

They’re in the shady, smelly back alley between the coffee shop and the CBD store behind it, alone. Nobody would even hear if he screamed.

So he stands, hands firmly raised in the air.

Lukey, somehow, is a barista. He doesn’t know how to make anything fancier than a black coffee, but he can bake a mean croissant.

But he nods his head again in acknowledgement as his kidnapper orders, “Move, scientist. There’s a car that way.”

They put the gun against the small of Lukey’s back and push him to the left towards the mouth of the alley near the neighborhood drugstore.

And so Lukey walks, hands up and face flat. This isn’t his first kidnapping (he thinks), he knows the drill.

There’s a black van parked in front of the drugstore with someone leaning against the outside of it holding an honest-to-God whip in their hand; as Lukey approaches, the whip cracks and ends up tied around one of Lukey’s wrists.

“Scientist,” Whip lowly says. “Nice of you to join us.”

They yank their whip, pulling him a few stumbled steps closer.

He smiles as placidly as he can. “Of course! Anything for a fan.”

Whip laughs. Gun shows their amusement by slamming the butt of their pistol into the base of Lukey’s skull.

He falls forward right into Whip’s arms, and the world goes dark.

-

(Pangi orders a croissant and takes a seat with it while he waits for Ros and Aimsey. The guy behind the counter- almost as pale as the flour stuck to his face- steps out back to go on his break.

The croissant is good.

The guy who supposedly made it doesn’t come back from his break.

A black van speeds down the road outside.

Pangi's phone dings, and he checks it.

With a sigh, he grabs his backpack from the chair next to him and stands.)

-

Cold.

Once upon a time, Lukey used to like the cold. The cold meant snow, and snow meant snowball fights with Newt and hot cocoa from the nice old lady from the flower shop. He used to try and catch snowflakes and put them under his (stolen) microscope to spot the differences.

Now, though, Lukey’s wavering consciousness tells him that he’s somewhere cold, and he almost wishes he was actually fucking dead, actually, instead of awake and blindfolded and tied to what feels like the world’s most uncomfortable metal folding chair.

Even with his eyes closed from the blindfold, the world is spinning around him. His stomach is in knots, there’s bile in his throat, he’s sweating despite the cold- concussion, almost definitely, which is fine. He’s gotten over concussions before, nothing new there.

Lukey grimaces down a wave of nausea. The concussion might not be a new experience, but that doesn’t mean it’s a pleasant one.

Okay, he thinks, take stock.

Blindfolded, but he isn’t gagged. His hands are tied behind the chair’s back, but they haven’t been tied long enough to go numb; he wiggles his fingers one after another, and they all cooperate well enough. Each ankle is tied to one of the chair’s front legs. Restraints are rough against his wrists- rope?

Wherever he’s been taken is quiet save for his own breathing and a faint rumbling. It smells of metal and, comfortably enough, blood.

Scientist, his kidnappers had called him. Hah! He wishes!

His memory is foggier than it used to be, but he remembers being handcuffed the last time he was kidnapped. So, really, these guys are a downgrade.

But. It’s cold.

Lukey bites his lip and huffs a tense breath out of his nose. He is fine. He’s fine, and he’ll be back at work, and he won’t even get fired for disappearing before end of his shift; he’s only met his manager once, but Bad seemed nice enough, he would probably excuse a kidnapping and just schedule Lukey for an extra shift over the weekend, it’ll be fine.

-

It isn’t fine.

By the time the kidnappers stomp their way into the room, Lukey’s hands and feet are all numb and his brain feels like it’s melting out of his ears. His teeth are chattering. He’s one bad memory away from a panic attack, and the horrible cold feeling in his bones is not helping any.

Still, he tries to sit up straight as the heavier of the two pairs of footsteps approach him- Gun was bigger, it’s probably them.

And, indeed, it is, because they laugh lowly and say, “Well, well. Looks like the scientist is a little chilly.”

Whip adds, “Poor guy’s nose is blue!”

Lukey’s nose sure feels blue. It’s so numb that he can only imagine that it’s already fallen off him from frostbite.

“Heh,” says the wise gunman.

And then, suddenly, there is light as Lukey’s blindfold is ripped off.

He instinctively flinches back and cringes into himself, a near-perfect recreation of his performance a week prior. This time, however, he makes a point of keeping his eyes open, even if it makes his head pound and his stomach coil in upset.

The walls are metallic and covered in frost. Slabs of meat hang from the ceiling from hooks, and cardboard boxes labeled with various vegetables are scattered about. There’s one door, and Lukey is looking directly at it; between him and it, though, are his two kidnappers.

Whip has taken their makeshift mask off, revealing… an absolute nobody, the most white bread-looking person Lukey has ever seen. Their whip is on their belt, rolled up, and they themselves are leaned against the door casually with their arms crossed.

Gun is still masked up, and their gun is still drawn.

Lukey looks at the gun.

The gun levels itself neatly with Lukey’s jugular.

Gun tilts their head, eyes squinting in amusement. “Alright, scientist, don’t look so scared yet. You aren’t gonna die.”

“Yeah!” Whip agrees. “We need your help!”

Lukey blinks. “Excuse me?”

Whip beams. “That’s right, scientist. We’ve heard aaaalll about you.”

God, they say ‘scientist’ like it’s a slur.

Lukey blinks again; there are spots in his vision, and they’re dancing.

“Ahm,” he tactfully says. “What have you he-”

His voice cracks.

He coughs and tries again: “What have you heard, exactly?”

(Step one of the scientific method: posit a question.)

Whip’s smile flickers like a dying lightbulb, their shoulders tightening minutely.

Gun’s aim wavers slightly, their grip on their weapon going white-knuckle.

(Step two: search for background information. Research.)

“Turn him around,” Whip orders.

Gun does as they’re told and grabs the back of Lukey’s chair with their free hand, elbowing him in the nose as they roughly jerk the chair onto its back legs and spin it 180 degrees.

Lukey’s stomach churns from the sudden motion; it’s enough to make him swallow his own vomit, ough.

The feeling doesn’t subside as the chair goes level again and he finds himself just a few short feet away from a corpse laid out on a plastic folding table.

Gun’s hand moves from the chair’s back to Lukey’s shoulder; it squeezes tightly, nails digging in like dull knives.

“Oh,” Lukey says.

The corpse’s skin is as white as the frost gathered on its clothes. Its eyes are closed, and its hands are clasped across its chest like a prayer.

There’s a big hole blown in the side of its head, and Lukey knows fire damage when he sees it.

“The Red got him,” Gun quietly says.

Lukey swallows. “I’m sorry. But I can’t-”

The gun presses against his temple; somehow, it’s almost warm.

“Nah,” Gun interrupts, “you can, scientist. We’ve heard all about your dad’s little experiments.”

“The Corruption,” Whip elaborates. “Dr. Lucas Teevee learned how to harness its power and control it.”

The Corruption…? What in the…

Gun snatches Lukey’s head by the hair and turns it harshly to the right, where one singular cardboard box sits on the floor. Just one box, small and taped shut with just one tiny piece of masking tape across its middle seam.

The gun shakes against Lukey’s head.

Gun breathes out ragged, says, “We read your dad’s journals. In the library. They say the Corruption can bring the dead back to life.”

That’s when Lukey notices the faint purple stain to the box’s corners.

He jumps in his seat as the box suddenly rattles and skitters an inch or two across the floor towards him.

For whatever reason, he suddenly feels faint. Maybe it’s the concussion. Maybe it’s the lore dump- who do they think he is?

(Step three of the scientific method: construct a hypothesis.)

“If my…” Lukey licks his dry, chapped lips nervously, lets out a breath, “…father is the Corruption expert, just get him to help you. I’m not a scientist. I’m-”

He shuts up as the gun’s safety clicks off.

He swallows, nods.

“Your dad is M-I-A,” Whip explains. “But we have it on good authority that you’re just as good as he is. So here’s the deal, scientist. You use the Corruption in that box to bring our friend back to life, and you get to go free.”

“If you don’t,” Gun continues, “we’ll end the family bloodline right here.”

(Step four: experiment.)

Lukey’s dad died in a house fire in 1974.

The Corruption was called ‘Substance A-7-1’ when he last played with it. Epsilon called it ‘that fucking sludge’. Newt preferred never to speak of it at all.

Lukey is a community college student and a barista with a concussion and a gun to his head. He’s two seconds away from passing out, his hands are numb, he’s about to throw up all over himself and this stupid corpse in front of him, he’s twenty one, and he’s fucking cold.

So, naturally, he bites back a sob, tilts his head back, and offers his kidnappers a weak smile instead.

“I’ll do my best,” he promises. “But I’ll need my hands freed.”

He thinks he has frostbite. He tries to do jazz hands, anyway.

“And some gloves and a scalpel,” he quickly adds. “If that’s not too much trouble?”

He tries to look scared and adorable, which is easy enough to do when he’s one wrong word away from a bullet to the brain. He even bats his eyelashes (it always works on Newt, so it’s worth a try.)

Gun narrows their eyes.

Lukey politely asks, “Please? I can’t get into the lungs without one.”

(He isn’t getting into the lungs to begin with, but they don’t need to know that.)

“Oh,” Whip huffs, “just get him what he wants. If it’ll get Jeff back, do it.”

Gun sighs, but they back off and lower their gun.

Soon enough, the ropes are falling from Lukey’s wrists, and the show can really begin.

-

Before he wanted to be a scientist, Lukey wanted to be an actor. He even did a community theater production of The Wizard of Oz as the dog when he was a kid because it was easier to wrangle a child on stage than an actual dog.

Lukey rolls his sleeves up and tries not to flinch at the sight of his own goosebumps. He is cool.

(And very, very cold.)

The corpse formerly known as Jeff has had its chest shaved via a very irritated Gun. There should hypothetically be easy access to what remains of the lungs, Lukey will just need to break a few ribs to get there first.

Lukey’s feet were not untied, so he stands next to the body with the chair’s seat digging uncomfortably into the backs of his knees in an almost sort of straddle type position. His hands are mostly back (he can move his fingers again, at least), and his blindfold has been adjusted to act as a makeshift mask over his nose and mouth.

Gun is directly behind him with his weapon poking obtrusively into the small of Lukey's back. Their partner is gone, Lukey having (politely) sent them to the closest pharmacy for some painkillers.

("When he wakes up..." Whip had hesitantly asked. "Will he be, like... still in pain?" Lukey looked at the enormous hole in Jeff's skull and the shriveled remnants of his brain. "Maybe," he replied. "But it's better to be safe than sorry, right?")

There’s a series of cooking knives laid out on the top of a tall box next to him, a meat tenderizer, a stapler, a pair of scissors, and a pair of yellow rubber dish gloves. (As it turns out, Jeff’s parents own a restaurant, and they’ve teamed up with Whip and Gun to preserve their son’s body in their kitchen’s walk-in freezer like absolute freaks. Someone needs to call the health inspectors on them, because just how many people have eaten food corrupted by both a literal dead body and the literal Corruption??)

The box of Corruption is next to the body’s head. It smells like wine, but he knows from experience that it doesn’t taste half as good.

Lukey isn’t an actor anymore (as if he ever actually got to be one), but they do call it an operating theater for a reason!

“Okay,” he says, “my father didn’t tell me too much of what he’d been experimenting with, but-”

Gun cuts him off with a clipped, “Get on with it."

Lukey raises an eyebrow, but he doesn't argue.

He pulls on the gloves and picks up the meat tenderizer. He bounces it in his hand, tries a twirl of it, fails, flushes, and shoots a nervous look at the box of Corruption.

Right. Surgery on a corpse. A reverse autopsy, almost, considering how he's supposed to be bringing poor dead Jeff back to life.

As Lukey raises his arm, he tries not to remember the last time he ran this kind of experiment.

He slams the tenderizer down onto the body's ribcage; he full-body cringes as he hears the first 'CRACK!'.

"Hey!" Gun shouts. "Be gentle with him!"

"Sorry!" Lukey exclaims, more so to Jeff than to the asshole pointing a gun at him. "I just can't get to the ribcage if-"

He snaps his mouth shut as the gun pokes at him.

He nods, offers a silent second apology to Jeff the Corpse, and raises the tenderizer again.

Back in his day, he wasn't able to get any human test subjects, alive or otherwise. He made do with the rats that liked to live in the lab's walls and the occasional stray cat that looked one sneeze away from death's door. It was messy, but it was necessary.

(Step five of the scientific method: collect data. Step five-point-five: attempt experiment again should data be unsatisfactory.)

For science, Lukey thinks as a portion of the ribcage collapses beneath his mallet. He can't do any more science if he's fucking dead.

...Doesn't mean he isn't sick, though. The second he's home, he's going to crawl in front of his toilet and stay there for however long he can get away with- ouagh, gross, a rib is coming out of the skin, ewwww.

Lukey isn't a doctor. Not in this way, the medical way. He's always liked the little things more than the macro-organisms Epsilon was always obsessed with.

There's a peal of laughter from the kitchen outside, music blasting from the restaurant proper; Lukey wrinkles his nose in disgust. How can Jeff's creepy parents keep the party going when their son is literally dead and in their freezer?

But Lukey isn't a doctor. Even as he swaps the meat tenderizer out for the sharpest of the knives he's been given, he doesn't know if the Corruption will actually bring Jeff back to life; none of his old experiments showed evidence of resurrection, where did those so-called journals get that information from?

(Then again, it has been 39 years.)

Still, what else can he do but go along with his kidnappers' assumptions? Refusing would mean death. (Technically, failure will also mean death, but maybe Lukey will have actually figured out a plan by then.)

He starts the incision without really knowing how far to cut. (He failed human anatomy! Twice! What! Is he doing!)

Sternum to abdomen seems right...

God, how did Newt say do it back then? One big cut, then smaller ones? Ugh, but Newt was a chemistry student, what was he doing trying to tell Lukey how to cut a patient open??

Luckily, Lukey doesn't get far enough to start experimenting with secondary incisions before the freezer's door is slamming open and he's jumping out of his own skin and dropping his knife to the floor in shock.

He swears and falls back down into his chair, but Gun doesn't try and force him back to his feet.

No, Gun is, instead, running towards the door and grabbing a gasping Whip and pulling them inside and slamming the door shut behind them.

Lukey scoots his chair around in a rough circle so he's facing them both. (Come on, if he's going to be a hostage, he at least needs something to keep his mind off of the surgery he's supposed to be doing!)

He gags and rips his gaze away and to the frosty metal floor immediately, though, because Whip is...

"Darla!" Gun cries. "Where did your fucking arm go!?"

Whip is bleeding. Missing an arm and bleeding. It's caked across their entire left side and still drip-drip-dripping onto the floor.

People are screaming outside, Lukey can hear them now that he isn't caught up in his own spiraling thoughts.

(God, it's cold...)

Whip groans and retches and audibly staggers into Gun's increasingly-distressed-sounding arms.

"Is that really what you're fucking asking right now?" they moan.

"Who did this?" Gun demands.

"We fucked up," Whip responds. "We fucked up, dude. We kidnapped the wrong guy."

Lukey can't help but snap his head up at that.

He meets Whip's eyes, and he can't help but smile just a little at how fucking terrified they look all of a sudden.

"I told you," he innocently says, "should've gone for my father."

Gun sneers at him. "You-"

But they don't get to finish their statement. Not before the freezer's door explodes, sending both Gun and Whip flying across the freezer and into the opposing wall.

Even Lukey's chair is tipped over; he falls with it to the side, just barely catching himself on his hands before his head has a chance to hit the floor and make his concussion actual brain damage. (He's already had enough of that, thanks!)

The world is silent save for a faint, annoying ringing sound coming from the inside of Lukey's poor battered skull.

Smoke pours in from the open doorway. Red emergency lights from the kitchen backlight the figure slowly picking their way through the rubble, but all Lukey can see from his position on the floor are a pair of bloodstained black combat boots and a pair of red-stained cargo pants.

People are shouting, Lukey thinks. But he can't tell, it's all so quiet. Quiet and cold like fresh snow.

Lukey blinks, and then he sees it: the box of Corruption has fallen from its spot on the table and is just inches away from his face.

The tape is gone.

Then, suddenly, the world erupts back into focus: Lukey bites back a cry as sound floods his ears again. Screams and sirens and the crackling of flames and crying- so much crying. And-

"No, please!" Gun is screaming. "We didn't know! Honest! We didn't know he was yours!"

Lukey grits his teeth and tries to push himself up, but the chair he's still attached to just weighs him down. All he can manage is a roll onto his stomach and some useless attempts to kick the damn chair off him.

He props himself up on his elbows, face scrunched in pain as he tries to sort of rotate himself into a position where he can actually try and get the ropes off...

Aha!

He sees the knife he dropped just a few feet away under the operating table.

Ignoring Gun's pointless platitudes, Lukey starts dragging himself towards the knife one painful inch at a time.

(He can practically hear Newt now: "Lucas! How was work today? ...What do you mean, you got kidnapped? You were blown up by a supervillain!? Oh, dear, we can't afford another relocation... you really need to be more careful!")

"Please!" Gun pleads. "Spare her! She's already-"

There!

Lukey reaches as far as he can and manages to grab the knife. He quickly pulls it towards himself and rolls back onto his side, pulling his feet towards his knees and the chair with them.

He's starting to saw at the first of his restraints as the supervillain (because, really, none of this exactly screams superhero) says their first words since their explosive entrance:

"Dude, shut up," they groan.

And then there's a single gunshot.

Lukey freezes mid-cut, eyes wide. He's never... not since the fire...

Gun's dead body falls to the floor with a heavy thud. Maybe it's a good thing that Lukey can't see them.

"Ugh, finally!" the villain groans. "I never thought they'd shut up."

The villain's voice is muffled- mask, probably, but there's a grainy quality to their words that just scream 'voice filter'.

Lukey's mind races as he gets back to trying to free himself: Maybe he hasn't been spotted yet. Who did Newt say he had to stay away from, again? Maybe they're waiting to kill him. Mr. X... the Red...

The box of Corruption is open.

Lukey is still tied to his chair.

He is in a room full of corpses.

And, still, he somehow manages to hold himself together as a heavy hand comes down onto his shoulder.

"Please," the villain says, causing Lukey to freeze, "allow me."

The knife is easily plucked from his hand.

Lukey can only watch as the villain kneels by his feet and pulls out a long serrated- holy shit, is that a machete?

The machete is, predictably, covered in blood; Lukey can only assume that it was what was used to cut Whip's arm off earlier.

The rest of the villain is just as messy as their boots made them out to be: long duster coat that was probably brown before today, dark hood pulled up over their head. A gas mask hiding their face with the lenses spattered with Gun's fresh blood.

Lukey has no idea who the hell this guy is, but he stays still as the villain cuts him free with a few easy movements.

He stays still even as the villain nods to themselves, stands, and tucks their machete away into a sheathe on their belt. They stand, crack their neck, and look down at Lukey the same way he used to look at Ego under his microscope.

"Well?" they ask. "You coming?"

They even extend a gloved hand down.

Lukey looks at it.

Lukey looks up at the villain's hidden face.

There's a fire in the restaurant. Lukey doesn't need to see it to know it's there, he knows fire.

He reaches his own hand up, and the villain takes it without a word.

-

Somehow, they end up on the roof of a bank four blocks away from the restaurant. The sun is starting to set, and the city below glows with the lights of rescue vehicles.

Lukey still has his work apron on. Criss-cross on the roof, he fiddles with his nametag.

'Hello!' it reads with a smiley face, 'My name is LUKEY!'

The villain is next to him typing away on what Newt had called a 'flip phone' in his lectures. The gas mask is still on, but the gloves have come off. Their hood has come down, too, revealing a head of slicked-back ginger hair.

They haven't really spoken since helping Lukey out of the restaurant. Just some quick orders- 'This alley' 'Watch out'- and questions- 'Do you ever stop talking?'

(So what if Lukey is a nervous talker? Sue him, he was blown up half an hour ago.)

"Thank you," Lukey says, not for the first time.

The villain hums in acknowledgement.

"I mean, really, I did not want to go through with that surgery," Lukey continues, this time for the first time. (Again, nervous talker.)

He's surprised into looking up from his nametag as the villain lets out a confused little sound.

"The surgery?" they ask. "What?"

Lukey nods and tries to look as confused as the villain probably feels.

"Mhmm. They wanted me to use some, uh, Corruption to bring their dead friend back to life." He shrugs. "No idea why. I'm just a guy."

The villain looks at him. Keeps looking at him.

Lukey clears his throat and decides to look back down at his nametag. "I'm a barista, yeah? I mean, technically, I am, but I'm still learning."

"They kidnapped a barista," the villain slowly says, "to do surgery."

"Uh, yeah! See? Crazy, isn't it?"

He laughs a little, scared and more than a little confused about how those guys had even known who he was. Newt had assured him that all his records were sealed years ago; the I.D. he'd used to get hired at the coffee shop was as fake as his own last name.

Silence falls again, and Lukey... doesn't know what to do, really. Is he? Allowed to leave?

But then, soon enough, the villain next to him perks up as a new villain literally rises from the air in front of the both of them. This one, however, Lukey recognizes from the news articles that Newt had showed him.

Mr. X is currently the city's most wanted villain. Known for the ability to create and control shadows, and infamous for his kind of insane death toll, a lot of people call him the Grim Reaper.

But tonight Mr. X shrugs off his little shadow jetpack and immediately kicks Lukey in the side.

"I'm glad to see you're okay!" he cheerfully says, ignoring the way Lukey is kind of sort of now horizontal on the rooftop groaning in pain.

"Hello?" Lukey wheezes.

Mr. X waves. "Hi!"

"Mr. X!" the other villain cheers, hopping to their feet. "Finally!"

"Pangolin!" Mr. X sounds just as happy as the other villain- Pangolin?- does as he wraps them up in a tight hug. "Thank you so much."

"Eh, it's no problem. Just a couple of weirdos, ammiright?"

They look down at Lukey for confirmation; Lukey manages a sort-of half-nod, and Pangolin gives him a thumbs-up in response as if comforting him.

"Hello?" Lukey repeats, slowly pushing himself back upright. "Am I being kidnapped again?"

He sure hopes not. Newt would be inconsolable if he had to go on another rescue mission.

Mr. X, with his entire body hidden behind one big person-shaped shadow, almost looks amused at the question.

"What?" he asks. "Of course not! Your boss noticed you were gone, and he called me for help."

He breaks the hug; Pangolin, strangely enough, almost seems to deflate at the sudden distance.

Pangolin clears their throat and looks determinedly right into Lukey's eyes. "And he called me."

Lukey frowns. "Well, thank you, but aren't you both..."

"Villains?" Mr. X supplies. "Well, some people say that. Can't imagine why."

He sighs.

Lukey remembers the way Whip looked in Gun's arms without their arm, the way Gun's body was positioned over Whip's as if trying to protect them as Pangolin led him out of the burning restaurant, the burning restaurant.

"Me neither," he ends up saying. Because, well. They did rescue him, after all, and just because Bad had asked. (But, really, that just begs the question of how the hell Bad was able to contact Mr. X in the first place.)

Pangolin gasps and gestures towards Lukey appreciatively. "Thank you! Finally, someone else gets it!"

"Haha, yeah," Lukey awkwardly says, "I know a bit about being judged based of appearances."

(Newt dresses in all black and has an entire room in his apartment filled with various forms of weaponry; he also knits and cries when watching romcoms.)

(Butterfly Knight is supposed to be the city's most treasured hero. She also pointed her Spear of Justice at Lukey's chest and told him to start talking or he would end up wishing he was back at Null Tower.)

Mr. X hums consideringly. He looks down at Lukey with a shadowy finger on his shadowy chin, foot tapping against the rooftop.

Pangolin looks at him, head tilted. "What's wrong?"

Mr. X shakes his head. "No, nothing. I'm just... Lukey, do you work afternoon shifts often?"

Lukey is slightly taken aback at the sudden topic change, but he rolls with it. "Uhh, I don't know? I come in when Bad needs me to. I haven't been working for him long enough to have a set schedule, I think."

"That's true," Mr. X says, for some reason. "Well, tell him you're working mornings from now on, because you're going to be working nights for me."

Pangolin's shock can be heard even through their mask and voice filter. "Excuse me?"

Lukey feels like he's just gotten another concussion. "Yeah, what?"

Mr. X, though, looks proud of himself as he claps his hands together and rolls back and forth on the balls of his feet. "It's a great idea! What do you think, Lukey? You help us to not get caught, and we'll make sure nobody kidnaps you again. It's a win-win!"

Lukey and Pangolin look right at each other.

They look back at Mr. X, who seems to be absolutely clueless to the sudden uncomfortable atmosphere.

"And," he adds, "if you don't say yes, I'll have to kill you for hearing about our connections with your boss. Sorry, them's the rules!"

Ah, there's a third concussion. Or maybe it's just fear. Bafflement. Terror. Confusion.

"So, Lukey," Mr. X says, "what'll it be?"

-

By the time Lukey makes it through the front door, night has already fallen, and there's a Newt pacing in the entryway nervously.

He perks up when he sees Lukey, though his expression falls as soon as he actually sees Lukey.

"Lucas!" he gasps, rushing forward and pulling him the rest of the way inside. "What happened?"

Just as he's always done, he goes for a hug before he actually checks for damage.

Lukey immediately hugs him back, burying his face in Newt's shoulder.

"I got stuck in the freezer at work," he lies. "And then I almost got my head stuck in the oven."

Newt sighs, and Lukey is glad that he can't see his face because he's always been so good at telling when Lukey is lying. (It's almost like they've known each other their whole lives.)

Lukey doesn't protest as Newt drags him to the bathroom to get cleaned up, and he doesn't argue as he's sat down on the edge of the bathtub, and he doesn't even roll his eyes as Newt gets the first aid kit out from the cupboard and gets to work with his antiseptic wipes and bandages.

Tonight is Lukey's last night off before he starts his new job, after all. He doesn't want to spend it in an argument.

____

AN: Thank you for reading!!! Leave a comment or a reblog or an ask telling me what you thought! I love to hear from you! And PLEASE let me know if you want more!!

[munsonsmixtapes]

Electric Touch (1)

virgin!rockstar!eddie x fem!reader

Gareth sets you and Eddie up after a concert and he seems to want nothing to do with you.

cw: Eddie's a dick

Part two coming soon!

Eddie sits in his dressing room, touching up his eyeliner. Gareth told him he invited some girls back to the hotel so he’s trying to look good. He’s nervous and going to sweet it off anyway, but he’s pretty sure women like the messy look. 

Once he’s done, he moves his hair this way and that, running his fingers through it. It’s what he does when he’s anxious and he’s really feeling it now. Even though he’s a rockstar, he’s never actually…had sex. He’s had multiple opportunities, but there’s just something about the whole thing-showing someone his naked body-that scares him. 

He’s been playing it off like he’s a womanizer for years and he doesn’t plan on stopping. He still can’t believe the amount of women who he’s convinced to make it seem like they slept together. He still can’t believe that they’d be willing to do whatever he asked just because he’s Eddie Munson. 

You stand on the other side of the door, your heart racing as it opens, Eddie Munson on the other side. He’s somehow even hotter in person and your mouth goes as you take in his cropped t-shirt that shows off his stomach so nicely. He shoots you that million dollar smile and you swear you’re going to faint. 

You’ve been crushing on him for so long-when they were just performing at The Hideout. You’ve been a fan since the beginning and you just want to tell him how proud you are of him. How proud you are of the band as a whole. You swear you’re going to tear up just thinking about it but try your best to hold back the tears. 

Eddie’s sure that you’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. He shamelessly lets his eyes rake over your body, taking his time checking you out. He stops on your bare legs that he can see so clearly because of your short shorts. God, those thighs. He’s getting hard at the thought of getting to spend the night with you. He totally wouldn’t mind letting you take his virginity even though you’re a perfect stranger. 

“Eddie, this is Crystal,” he refers to the girl whose arms are wrapped around him. It’s clear who he’s taking back to the hotel. “And y/n,” he nods towards you and you put your hand out for him to shake to which Eddie puts his hands in his pocket. As much as he wants to have you, he doesn’t need Gareth helping him. He’s Eddie Munson. He can get his own date, thank you very much. 

“Hi, Eddie,” you smile and it’s so warm and now he feels like a dick. He’s just trying to protect himself. He’s putting up a wall as a test. He’s gotta see if you’re the real deal or just someone who wants to use him. If he’s going to lose his virginity, he wants it to be with someone who actually likes him for who he is. He’s still unsure about you. 

“I’m a huge fan,” you tell him after a beat of silence. “I used to watch you guys at The Hideout all the time.” His eyes light up for a moment but he immediately puts on that cold stare again. He crosses his arms over his chest as if to tell you that he’s not impressed, but you’re still talking, still got on that pretty smile. Yeah, he definitely likes you and doesn’t think he should be allowed to spend any more time with you tonight. He’s been nothing but a dick and no one deserves that-especially not you. 

“Is that supposed to impress me or something?” He asks with a glare and swears he sees tears welling up in your eyes. Oh, he fucked up. “C’mon, let’s go.” He pushes past you and you follow after him, feeling nothing but humiliated. Well, you know what they say about meeting your heroes. You’re hoping that you just caught him on a bad night. Even though he’s showing you exactly who he is, you refuse to believe that the real him. 

The tabloids have always painted out to be a selfish womanizer and you don’t know why you refuse to believe that that’s who he is. You want to believe that this is all just a front and that he’s still the sweet boy from Hawkins that everyone misunderstood. You want to believe that he’s only this way to protect himself from getting hurt. 

You silently follow him to the car, the only sounds that can be heard is the crew packing equipment up and Gareth and his flavor of the night giggling incessantly. You’re so close to just telling them that you’re gonna head home. If this is how the night is going to be, you’re not sure that you want to be here. You don’t need Eddie, you have two perfectly good hands that could pleasure you just fine. 

You really thought this would be the best night of your life-something you think about as you fall asleep every night. You definitely will, but not for the reasons you originally thought. These guys are just like every other. 

The four of you get to the car where Jeff and Grant are already seated. You lean into the vehicle as Eddie makes his way to the backseat and now you’re the last one to get in. Just your luck, there’s no spot and you’re taking it as a sign. You knew this was too good to be true. 

“Oh,” Jeff speaks up. “You can just sit on Eddie’s lap.” He then turns to Eddie with a shit-eating grin that you can’t see. “Right, Eddie?” 

“Uh, sure. Whatever.” You hesitantly climb into the van and head to the backseat.

“Are you sure this is okay?” You whisper and he hates that you’re being so nice. It’s making it really hard to be a dick to you. 

“It’s fine,” he mutters. “Just sit.” You do as he says and he starts to panic as your ass moves back and forth across his crotch as you try to get comfortable. If you feel his cock hardening, you don’t say anything and he’s grateful for that. 

You totally feel it and now your ego is huge. You know he’d fuck anyone, there’s just something about you making him hard despite his obvious dislike. You wonder how much you’re going to have to push in order to get him to admit that he wants you. You’re not blind-you could see that he was checking you out and liked what he saw. 

You smile to yourself as you move just a little more, feeling his cock getting even harder. He groans behind you and you try your best to stifle a laugh. He’s right where you want him-if only you could get him to just admit how badly he wants you. But Eddie doesn’t seem like the type to beg for what he wants. 

He’s definitely the kind of guy who just takes and takes and you feel yourself getting wet just thinking about him telling you what he wants. You’re usually the one to call the shots, but tonight, you’re prepared to make yourself whatever he wants. You just want to please him. 

When you turn to look at him, he can tell that you’re doing it on purpose. You’re playing a game and he has to admit that he likes it. He loves being teased and kind of hopes he can make you snap so you’ll yell at him. There’s just something about making you angry that turns him on and he can’t figure out what it is. 

He hopes that by the night is over, he’ll be able to let his guard down. He wants to show you the real him-which never happens. He doesn’t want to be Eddie Munson tonight, just Eddie. He wants to tell you the truth which he’s never told anyone. He just either makes out with someone or does some foreplay in every city then makes up some excuse to get them to leave. He always thinks he might finally be ready, but he never is.

The car pulls up to the hotel and you all are quick to get out, Eddie especially. He’s planning on locking himself in the bathroom to take care of himself. He really wants you to be the one to do it, but he’d never ask that of you. Not when he’s been so rude to you. He doesn’t think he deserves anything from you tonight. He’s just gonna make something up like he always does then send you on your way. 

You actually think this might be the worst night of your life. You’re in a foreign city with a bunch of strangers, your feet are killing you because of your stupid shoes. And to top it all off, the man you have looked up to for so many years is the kind of guy you imagined he’d make fun of. But you follow Eddie anyway, wondering if you can somehow turn this whole thing around. 

To make matters worse, the two of you are left alone in the lobby to fetch your own elevator. As he stands there, tapping away on his phone, you decide that he’s not worth it. You have nothing but nice to him while he’s treating you like you’re gum on the bottom of his shoe. You don’t know what you ever saw in him. The more you look at him, the more you see the rotten person inside. The more you look at him, the less attractive he becomes. 

“I think I’m just gonna call a cab,” you jerk your thumb over your shoulder, pointing towards the door. Eddie’s head shoots up, panic written all over his face. Oh now he cares? How convenient. He says nothing, but you can tell that he’s regretting the way the night has gone. Good. It’s what he deserves. You’re not gonna let this man walk over you just because you consider him to be one of your heroes. You have so much more respect for yourself than that. 

You turn on your heel and head towards the front doors of the lobby, surprised to hear footsteps behind you. Just when you’re about to turn, you feel his hand wrap around your wrist. He gives it a pull and turns you around to face him. He says nothing, his eyes just bore into yours and you can feel how bad he seems to feel. Well, too bad. Maybe flashing those bambi eyes works on other people, but they’re certainly not gonna work on you.

“Don’t go,” he says and for a second, you think he’s going to cry. And for a second, you almost fall for it, but then remember exactly who you are. You are the kind of woman who lets herself be taken advantage of. If he wants your attention, he’s gotta earn it. 

“Well, you haven’t exactly given me a reason to stay. You’ve been nothing but standoffish and rude to me tonight. And you know what? I looked up to you. I painted you out to be this amazing man, but I guess I was wrong. You’re just a giant loser like all the tabloids say.” 

The words are like a slap to Eddie’s face but he deserves them. He knows that you’re right so he’s not going to argue. If you want to go, he’ll let you.  It’s what he gets for treating you so poorly tonight. 

“I’m so sorry,” is all he says. It’s all he’s got, and this time, he’s actually telling the truth. 

“Look, I’m going out with some friends tomorrow night. Give me your number and I’ll text you the address and you can prove to me that you’re the kind of guy everyone says you are, then maybe I’d be willing to give you a second chance.” You hand him your phone and he types in his name and number before saving it to his contacts. With that, you turn on your heel and head out of the lobby, leaving Eddie to watch you to leave. 

As he turns to the elevator, his phone pings with an address and he can’t help but smile to himself as the elevator opens. Oh, he’s so going to prove how good of a boy he can be.

part two coming soon!

[staylovesmiley]

Mixtape: OH~ Chapter 2

₊˚⊹ᰔ Pairing; Han Jisung x Fem!reader

₊˚⊹ᰔ ₊˚⊹ᰔ Summary; Having a crush on your friend/roommate while trying to navigate college life is hard enough as it is, what happens after you find out the secret he has been hiding?

₊˚⊹ᰔ ₊˚⊹ᰔ ₊˚⊹ᰔ Warnings; college!au, female!reader, angst, smut, mentions of sexual harassment, alcohol and drug use, she/her pronouns used for reader, this is very loosely based off the overall themes/tones of the manga and anime “kiss him, not me!”~

It was haunting you. The words your roommate and crush had written about you and your childhood best friend who now stood beside you in the thrift store as you both meticulously looked through the rack of clothes in front of you. “Oh this is so cute!” He gasped, pulling out a crocheted cropped tank top, holding it up against your torso with a smirk. “You would so rock this. I bet Hanji would like it too.” He gave you a wink before tossing it in your cart. Han Jisung. Fuck- you couldn’t escape him and the itch to tell someone about what you had read was killing you. You knew you could never tell Jeongin about it, it was just too uncomfortable and you knew he’d freak out and probably immediately confront the author about it. It just…wouldn’t end well. “If you say so- that is why I brought you here, to help me build a better wardrobe.” You sighed with a little eye roll playfully as he continued to pick things out for you, your cart almost overflowing by the end of the shopping trip. “Whatever you don’t end up keeping I’m sure Felix would take off your hands.” He shrugged while you checked out. You just hummed in agreement as you both carried the multiple bags out to his car. You hadn’t said much the entire hang out and he seemed to be catching on that something was wrong as he began driving you back to your apartment. “Okay, spill. You have been a total space cadet all afternoon.” Whipping your head to look at him from your spot in the passenger seat you felt your eyes widen. “Hey! I totally have not-“ Scoffing, Jeongin rolled his eyes. “You ate about half the paper on your ice cream cone before I called you out cause you weren’t paying attention. Just tell me what’s on your mind, no judgement.” You raised an eyebrow at him, knowing how judgmental he could be. “Promise! Just spill, ‘kay?” You sighed and settled back in your seat, feeling a bit small under his insistence. “I may have um…the other week I saw something on Jisung’s computer that I wasn’t supposed to and now I’m not sure what to do-“ Jeongin smirked a bit, pulling into the parking lot of your apartment. “Whatever, like…weird porn or something? Was it bad? Cause like- you could use that to your advantage ya know. If you know what he’s into you could somehow take that knowledge and get him to confess first since you’re too chicken to do it first.” You chuckle nervously before shaking your head. “Can we just- drop it? I don’t wanna think about it anymore…let’s go wash these clothes and you can help me come up with some good outfit ideas-“ Sensing how uncomfortable you were, he dropped it as you had asked and nodded with a smile. “Sounds like a plan! I’m gonna make you look so good no one is gonna recognize you!” You gasped, a hand coming up to lay across your chest. “Excuse you! Are you saying I look bad now?!” He laughed as he parked the car and began grabbing some of the bags you’d purchased. “No! Just- as I’ve stated countless times…you hide your figure too much and dress like a crazy old cat lady! You’re hot but you don’t dress to show it off like you should!” After reading what Jisung had written about the two of you, hearing Jeongin call you hot made you shiver a bit in disgust but you tried to play it off as you got out of the car. “I don’t dress like a crazy old cat lady- I dress teacher appropriate!” Jeongin shook his head again as he followed you inside the house. “Yeah well you aren’t a teacher yet so that can wait until we graduate.”

Two days later and you are laying sprawled out on Chris and Celine’s bed as she rummages through her closet. She had asked you to come over and keep her company while she did some cleaning and reorganizing and you needed to get out of your apartment for fear of running into Jisung. You had been lowkey avoiding him, not super intentional at first it was just that your schedules didn’t align and then as you started to be home at the same time more often you couldn’t shake the itch of your knowledge of his secret. “Can I…get your opinion something really weird?” You say suddenly, feeling the bed dip beside you almost instantly as she took a seat. “Of course! You know you can tell me anything.” You sighed, blinking up a the ceiling before looking at her. “You cannot tell anyone. Not even Chris!! Like- especially not him…or Innie.” Now she wore a look of concern, eyes flickering from your face to your stomach and then back again. “Oh my god are like- pregnant or something?” Your eyes widen and you sit up straight. “What the fuck no? Celine-“ you groan a bit, shaking your head. “The other day at the library I saw something on Jisung’s computer while he was in the bathroom…and it’s- I don’t know what to feel or how to think?” She nods a bit, gesturing for you to continue. “It was smut. Like- really well written and detailed smut…but it was- oh god it’s hard to even say it!” You whine, flopping back on the bed with your hands covering your face. “Well come on spit it out! You’ve got me on the edge of my seat. Was it of you and him? Him and another girl? Him and an animated girl?!” You let out another groan in frustration before answering. “It was of me and….me and Jeongin-“ She gasps loudly, hands coming to cover her mouth in shock. “Oh no- that’s…that is kinda weird-“

The room is silent for a moment before she speaks up again. “How did it make you feel? Like- what went through your mind when you saw it.” You sigh, dragging your hands down your face before staring back up at the ceiling. “I don’t know….confused? Disgusted? Mildly hurt-“ Celine nods and lays down beside you on the bed. “Okay let’s unpack this bit by bit…let’s start with disgusted, yeah? What about it was disgusting to you.” Frowning, you shrug a bit. “Just- like ew why Innie of all people he’s like my brother?” Celine nods in agreement before continuing. “Understandable. Now, confused?” You nod as well, turning on your side to face her. “Like…what does it mean- why would he write that about me and Innie? Like…I don’t understand what would make him do that..” your friend sighs and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “Okay, now what about hurt?” Your frown deepens and you shrug again, arms coming to hold yourself for comfort. “Does this mean he doesn’t like me? If he is writing me having sex with other men is that a sign that I have no chance with him-“

She frowns as well, pulling you in for a cuddle as she pets your hair gently. “I don’t know, Winnie…I think maybe he is confused? I mean- you and Jeongin are so close maybe he thinks there is something going on with you two and this is his strange way of coping with that? You know he can be an odd one sometimes-“ you nod and your head rubs against her neck and chin in the process causing you both to giggle. “That or maybe he’s just a cuck? Like- he gets off to the idea of you with other men or something. I wouldn’t say this means he doesn’t like you back.” You grimace at the thought. You aren’t one to kink shame but that just doesn’t seem like something you would be into let alone with your childhood best friend. “I think you should find a way to talk to him about it, yeah? I don’t know how but just sit on it for a bit and figure out a way to bring it up that isn’t confrontational so you don’t scare him off.” You sigh, relaxing in her arms. “Okay…thanks, Celine- I needed your motherly advice.” She laughs, swatting playfully at your head. “Hey I’m not that much older than you!” You both fall into a fit of laughter before resuming your designated tasks of you lounging in whatever room she is working in as you chat with her as she does her chores.

You start to relax a little bit after your talk with Celine, slowly falling back into your normal routine as you now stand in the kitchen cooking dinner while Jisung pulls up the show you had been in the middle of watching together before you began distancing yourself. “I’m so glad we finally have some us time. It feels like I haven’t seen you in forever!” He pouts, leaving his place on the couch to wrap his arms around you from behind and rest his chin on your shoulder. Us? What does that even mean- your mind is back to reeling over the physical affection and the way he said that simple word…Us. “Yeah, me too Hanji~ you’ve been so busy I thought you were gonna shrivel up and die due to lack of kdrama syndrome or something.” You giggle, swatting his hand when you catch him reaching to steal a piece of meat you are grilling. “Patience, it’s almost done.” Jisung whines but listens, shuffling back over to flop on the couch.

You join him a few minutes later, two ready made plates in your hand. You already knew what he liked and didn’t like so there was no need to call him over to make his own plate. You told yourself this was just another sign that you two would be perfect together, that there was so much potential while the other part of your brain screamed that there was no way he would ever reciprocate the feelings.

Dinner and Drama, as you both nicknamed it, went as usual with the both of you ending up cuddled on the couch with empty plates sitting on the coffee table. Jisung gave a yawn as the episode ended before detangling himself from your body. “Alright- bed time for me…I’ve got early classes tomorrow then work the rest of the day.” He gave a little groan as he made his way to the kitchen with both of your dishes. “Yeah same here- do you want help with those?” He shakes his head, waving you off with his free hand as he gets to work washing them off in the sink. “I got it! Go ahead and get some sleep, yeah? Maybe we can meet for lunch tomorrow before work or something.” You nod, giving him a small wave before heading towards your room. “Night Hanji!” “Goodnight, Winnie!” He calls back as you close your door behind you.

Sleep doesn’t come easily and instead you lay wide awake wondering if both what Celine and Jeongin said could be true…and maybe Jisung was into you and maybe you could use his writing and what he’s into as a way to get closer to him. You bolt upright in bed and quickly pull out your laptop. The name on the top of that fictional story you had read was burned into your memory, never to be forgotten and with a quick google search you find it. You can’t believe he actually published it onto some fanfiction site. It had been a complete shot in the dark to try looking for it that way but here it is. You click on the profile that had uploaded it and you almost let out a yelp in surprise. With your hand covering your mouth you scroll, eyes wide as you see not only the story about you and Jeongin but even more stories all with tags that only seemed to get raunchier the further down you went. Is this what he does in his free time? You always thought he just worked on music with Chan and Changbin but I guess there was another side to this poet than just lyrics. As you look over the account you see a post from only a few days ago, your eyes flickering over the tags before you open it up curiously.

You read for a while, eyes scanning over the words as your heart began to race. This story was also about you but instead of Jeongin it was….Hyunjin? Intrigued a bit, mind racing through the fact that Jisung has now written explicit stories of you with not just one but two of your close friends. It started off mild at first but the more you read the more your skin begins to flush.

He slowly pressed hot open mouthed kisses on her inner thighs, getting closer and closer to where she really wanted him. 'Jinnie, please,' she whines, bucking her hips without meaning to.

'Don't tease.'

Even with the cool autumn breeze entering the apartment from your slightly ajar bedroom window, you felt your body heating up as you were unable to tear yourself away from the screen in front of you.

'Hmm patience is a virtue, Winnie,' he grins against her skin, nipping at it with his teeth while his hands tighten around her thighs, keeping them still. 'The more you beg, the slower I'll go'

Your mouth fell open slightly, one hand on the mouse pad slowly scrolling down as you read while the other gripped at the material of your sweatpants you had worn to bed that weren’t really yours at all but ones you had stolen from your roommate one day when you had run out of clean pajama bottoms that you hadn’t brought yourself to return yet.

She moans loudly when his tongue finally touches her clit, it's feather light, but pleasure zaps through her spine anyways. He licks her more thoroughly then, pulling her closer to his mouth as he feasts.

At that, you slam your laptop shut and scoot away from it until your back hits the headboard of your bedframe. Your face is flushed and your heart is racing so fast you feel like you can’t catch your breath. You feel a bit scandalized, and to further that scandalizing feeling, a bit turned on. What the actual hell-

You take a few deep breathes, rubbing your sweaty palms over your clothed thighs before opening the laptop back up. You don’t think you can stomach reading any more of his writing tonight, but you feel like there is more going on with this little secret of his so before you can think about it too much, you switch on the vpn you use to stream anime off of shady sites and create yourself a very non-descriptive account before clicking the little follow button on Jisung’s secret blog. Once it’s done you put your laptop away and lay back down to try and find sleep that will never come as you know the next morning you will have to face both Jisung and Hyunjin and pretend that what just happened never happened.

If he wants to keep secrets than you can to. Game on.

authors note; everyone say thank you to my wifey @chancloud8 for writing the smut bits for this chapter because I wasn’t in the right headspace and it was literally the only thing holding me back from finishing this chapter today~ i know it’s a little on the shorter side and I made you all wait so long for an update on this story but I hope you all enjoyed it! Pls let me know what you thought and where you think the story is gonna go from here~~

taglist; (pink users I wasn’t able to tag) @chancloud8 @iknow-uknow-leeknow @extremechaoswarning @jisunglyricist @imeverycliche @estella-novella @tirena1 @silly250 @h0rnyp0t @haradasaya @jaquisos @bookswillfindyouaway @ramadiiiisme @ssunglver @soobingf-blog @painterhyunjin @headfirstfortoro

[sunrisecaminus]

Think we could get something along the line of waiting for smokescreen in his room all dolled up waiting for him to come back to spend the night together having some fun id let him eat me out all night

Message - Getting transferred to another college and getting more classes for summer, yaayyyy. Anyway here you go you little demon.

Smokescreen x Cute Reader NSFW

Summary - Smokescreen is late to your planned date night. You give him a good yelling, but he pays you back.

Warning - NSFW

The most horrible thing you could possibly imagine was right outside the door…Smokescreen being fucking late. You have dressed up an hour ago, and he has still not made it back from his mission. He was suppose to just pick up Miko and drive back, but he has been gone for 45 minutes. It only takes around 10 minutes to go all the way to the school and 10 minutes back, Smokescreen is in big trouble once he opens that door. You got dressed up for him and everything!

You dressed up in a lovely maid outfit. The black flowy dress goes up to your knees and the white ruffles lightly touch your arms with cute little sleeves that only cover your shoulders. His birth room was filthy anyway so you might as well clean while this stupid Conjunx of yours is still hanging out with Miko. You dump a full bucket of soapy water all over the floors and start to mop up. The floors was filled with dust and little drops of energon here and there. For Cybertronians who are trying to conserve their energon, Smokescreen still is a messy eater. Putting your hair away out of your face, you go through the drawers to throw away stuff he does not need to have. Rolled up wrappers, drawings from Miko that he would never look at again (the ones he keeps are in his chassis), and bits of dirt that fall off of his whenever you aren't there to force him to take a fucking bath.

…

Smokescreen is driving like crazy, being chased by Decepticons right now. Specifically, Starscream is flying above him right now, following him. Miko was the one who pointed him out and so they are right now trying to hide themselves. If Starscream figures out where the base was, it was no more for the Autobots. Calling Optimus to tell him what was happening, he drives on the highway that is on the outskirts of Jasper. Smokescreen was speeding 80 in a 55, trying to get as far away from the second in command the best he can. Mountains start to be seen in the background, making Smokescreen relieved that they were coming across the canyons of Jasper. He speeds up and zigzags around the rocks, trying his best to confuse Starscream and getting inside some small cave that isn't seen in the sky. He waits for about ten minutes to make sure Starscream's jets weren't heard anywhere around them. He looks over at Miko and sighs. "Aren't you and Y/n having a date night?" Miko states to him. Smokescreen blanks for a second and gasps. "Scrap!" Immediately, he texts you in coms and states that the Decepticons were on their trail for a while and he needed to stay hidden. He puts that he will come home in 20 minutes just to make sure he is not followed. It takes about a minute of waiting before he gets a notification from you. "You are in trouble when you get home." Miko sees Smokescreens face to see a reaction and shakes her head. "You are screwed, have fun with that." Smokescreen side eyes Miko and just reacts to your message with a heart. He knows you understand what he has been dealing with, but he also knows you and him have been planning this "date night" for over a month now. being angry about this was valid, but he also will beg for mercy when he gets over to the base.

…

You and Smokescreen was suppose to have your time together at 5 pm and it is now 6:30 pm. Hearing him drive inside the base made you drop everything and stand next to the door. You were prepared to fight him and give him an ear full, knowing Smokescreen had to do something to attract a high ranking officer of the Decepticons. You heard footsteps from the hallway as the door opens up to the birth room. Smokescreen looks around and catches your frame next to his pedes. He sees the anger on your face and bends one knee to be a bit closure to you. "How dare you! We had a full plan! I dressed up for you and did everything! Of course you got Starscream to chase you around! You better just say Miko was being too loud or I sw- AH!" You were interrupted by Smokescreen grabbing your entire body and standing back up. You didn't know what he was doing until he turned your body around to look at your frame. "…You look stunning." Trying to hide your face to not show him you were blushing, you kept trying to complain to him. "Hey! I am not done! Don't think you can sweet talk me out of this!" Smokescreen just looks at you and puts his face closure to you. You try not to look at him, crossing your arms in a huff. He presses his mouth to your face with a little kiss, ignoring all your complaining. He keeps kissing you all over as you try to push him away, but obviously you really did like the sweet touches he was giving you.

Feeling his nice touch helped you relax, but than your skirt is lifted by his digits as he glides them around your legs. "Hmm! You little shit…" You tried to yell like you were doing for the past few minutes, but the nice massages were giving you a second thought on being mad at him. If he was going to pleasure you…than why complain? You close your eyes, feeling the nice touches, the kisses, and the cool air hitting you both with the air conditioning coming on. Finally you were able to lovingly snuggle with your Conjunx without any interruptions. He walks over to the birth and sets himself down, putting you on the sheets to lay down. You smirk and set your small body in between his legs. "Smokey, let me see that spike of yours." He blushes and does as he was told, his spike being put out in the cold air as you sit yourself down on your butt. "Now, touch yourself. I want to watch you~" Smokescreen blushes from your request and looks down at your face. He grabs his spike and starts to stroke himself. "A-ah…Y/n. This is embarrassing." You give him an evil smirk and climb on top of his chassis, walking down to his Spike and rubs the top of it. "Oh? Is it now." He arches his back from your warm hands touching him. Smokescreen realizes your little demon is coming out and his optics locks in to watch you help stroke his Spike with his servo next to you, jacking himself off.

The pleasure was becoming too much and cum splatters all of your body. Smokescreen moans out loud, dripping himself all over the sheets. He sees your body as you try to lick his cum off your hand, but he grabs you quickly before you could do such a thing. "H-hey what are-Hmm!" You feel his glossa licking your body as he takes off your dress, licking off his own cum and getting you all cleaned up. Gasping from the sensual touches, he puts his face in between your legs and start to lick your folds with his glossa. His cold touches meets your hot area as he goes in deep inside your flower. "Ah! Smokey!" Screaming from his fast pace, you grab ahold of his servo that has you in a tight grip. He was a monster, harvesting you from the inside and not letting you breath. You cum right than and there, letting him feast upon your vagina.

Taking a small breather, Smokescreen looks at you to see if you were alright. You look at him and give him a tired smile. "When did I tell you we were done~"

[robinavxtch]

aftershocks

michael ‘robby’ robinavitch x heather collins

| “you need to stop blaming yourself,”

“that’s fucking rich, coming from you.” |

a/n: this is basically what i think happened following pittfest with these two<3 love ya ! - anna

shoutout to @mads198-9 for being my beta reader, you’re the best 🫶🏻

wc: 4.8k

warnings: angst, angst and more angst. brief mentions of addiction, alcohol. oh and angst.

Heather opened her eyes, stretching out her still tired, and achy body. She looked at the clock.

3:00AM.

She groaned. She had fallen asleep right after getting home, after Robby told her to go home and relax. She had had the glass of wine, sat down in the shower, and then curled up and felt the weight of the world lift off of her as she slept.

Grabbing her phone, she powered it back on. A few seconds later she watched as the screen illuminated, followed by a rush of notifications. Her eyes widened as she saw the missed calls.

Robby, Dana, Robby again, Dana again. And then Robby a dozen more times.

Then, the news headline followed the phone notifications.

Shooting at Pittsfest | ACTIVELY UPDATING

Heather immediately sat up in bed, opened her phone and called the one who had spent hours trying to reach her.

Ring…Ring…

On the third ring, he picked up. She didn’t even give him a chance to speak.

“I just woke up and saw the news. Saw all your calls. I turned my phone off when I got home and—Jesus Christ, I’m sorry Robby. I’m so fucking sorry.”

She heard him breathing on the other line, not saying anything.

“God. The one day I fucking leave early…it must have been hell. I’m so sorry. So so so sorry—“

“Heather.”

“I can’t believe I actually turned my phone off. I’m a trauma doctor! We never turn our phones off and for a damn good reason! I—“

“Heather. Stop.”

His voice was rough, raw like he hadn’t used it in hours. She stilled, her breathing slightly faster than usual. She began to nervously pick at her fingers with the hand that wasn’t holding her phone.

Robby didn’t say anything. They stayed on the line in silence for what seemed like eternity until she broke it.

“Are you okay?”

He could have laughed, could have made a witty retort about how that was such a stupid question to ask, but he was so drained. Just tired and empty.

“No,” came his response.

In all the years that she has known him, he has only ever answered no to that question once. And it was on the worst day of his life.

She paused, making sure to think through what she was going to say. That it would be the right thing. That he would answer.

“What can I do?”

He let out a small laugh. But it wasn’t a happy or amused one. It was one of exhaustion. Dry and bitter.

“Unless you have a fucking time machine and can restart the shift, I don’t think there’s anything you can do, Collins.”

She bristled slightly at the use of her last name. It was such an odd formality for three in the morning.

Robby ran a hand through his hair, groaning slightly, waiting for her to respond.

“You and I both know that if I could do that, I would, Robby. But I can’t. So answer me honestly. What do you need from me right now that I can easily do?”

Her voice was soft, but there was edge of defiance in it. The stubbornness he knew all too well. He knew he had to give her an answer, despite him just wanting to tell her to forget about it and go back to sleep.

But he didn’t say anything.

“Robby,” she sighed, a hint of desperation in her voice.

“I’m fine. I don’t need anything. Especially not right now.”

He was lying through his teeth, and she could tell. She didn’t even have to see his face to know that it was scrunched up in agony. That his features were layered with exhaustion and his eyes closed.

“You’re a terrible liar,” she said, her voice quiet as she started to get dressed.

He heard the rustling and sighed, running a hand over his face, “I’m fine. I’m serious.”

“When was the last time you ate something?” She asked, ignoring his last comment as she pulled on an old pair of sneakers.

He paused, thinking. He couldn’t remember the last thing he ate. Maybe it was a the sandwich at the end of the shift? Hours ago? He couldn’t recall. Of course, he didn’t want to admit that so he just stayed silent.

Heather took that as an answer.

“Do you want food? I can come over.”

He exhaled, “Heather it is three in the fucking morning. You are not bringing me food.”

She grabbed her purse and keys and began to walk across her apartment, phone still in hand.

“Robby?”

“Yeah?” came his gruff response on the other end.

“I’m bringing you food. I’ll see you soon.”

She hung up, leaving him no room to protest. He sighed, putting his phone down. He was still lying in bed in his sweatpants with no shirt on.

He got up, slowly, throwing on an old Led Zeppelin t shirt and a different sweater— one that wasn’t stained with the horrors of the day, and walked out to his living room. Sitting down on the couch, staring at the TV with nothing playing. With nothing but his racing thoughts to keep himself occupied.

After about twenty minutes of silence, he snapped out of it, looking up as a soft knock came from the other side of the door.

He stood up, cracking his neck before walking over and opening the door to reveal Heather, in very casual clothes holding two large bags of Chinese food.

But not just any Chinese food, his favourite place.

She walked in, letting the door close behind her. He studied her carefully as she placed the bags down and began unpacking the food. Her movements were brisk but purposeful- ones he’d seen her use at the hospital. She laid it all out, setting the fortune cookies aside, then turning to l him, holding out a box of shrimp fried rice and a pair of chopsticks.

“Here. Eat.”

Robby took the box from her begrudgingly and opened it.

“You didn’t have to do this you know,”

“Oh shut up. Eat.”

Her voice was light, but the look on her face told him that if he didn’t take a bite of the food in his hand within the next three seconds, she was going to force it down his throat.

He nodded, taking a bite. Closing his eyes as the pitt of hunger in his stomach that he had ignored until now thanked him.

She sat down in the chair across from his couch, and took a few bites of her food before looking up at him.

“Again, Robby. I’m so sorry—“

He cut her off, “Stop apologizing. It’s not your fault at all.”

“I should have been there.”

“I sent you home for a reason, Heather.”

His tone was light, but there was a definitive air to it.

She exhaled sharply, her gaze never leaving his, “You should have sent someone to come get me.”

He snapped, a brief second of anger flashing across his features. “I couldn’t really afford losing another staff member. Between you and Langdon—“

“Langdon? Where the fuck was Frank?”

He held her gaze, examining the look of suprise on her face. He closed his eyes, inhaling deeply before opening them again.

“Frank won’t be working with us for a while.”

Heather nodded, although not understandingly, “Why?”

Robby paused before telling her. And watched as her eyes widened in suprise, shock, and inevitability landed on anger; what he had been feeling all day since finding out.

“Fucking hell,” she cursed, “I had no idea.”

“Yeah. None of us did.” He replied shortly, his voice harsh.

“I’m sorry.”

“Again, not your fault.”

“I’m still sorry. You had one of the hardest shifts of your life without either of your R4s.”

He nodded, not saying anything. He just took another bite of his food.

Heather swallowed what she was chewing and cleared her throat, causing him to look back up at her.

“You—uh,” she exhaled, “How many patients did you see? Or how many did the ER see…?”

He swallowed, but it wasn’t because there was food in his mouth.

“112.”

He knew the exact number— of course he knew that. She wouldn’t have expected him not to.

Heather nodded, taking another bite of her food, “And how many pulled through?”

“Six of them died.”

“That’s not what I asked,”

“But it’s what you meant.”

She gave him a knowing look. He returned it. The steam off of their rice lingering in the air between them. The only sound the clicking of the clock on his shelf.

“I’m sorry.” She broke the silence.

“I need you to stop saying that.”

“But it’s true.”

“Stop.”

He continued to stare at her. And she stared back. Neither one of them wanting to back down.

Eventually, Robby’s shoulders slumped and he leaned back on the couch, continuing to eat. He finished, and placed the box down on the table beside him.

“Thanks for the food, by the way.”

She nodded, also finishing her rice. “Anytime.”

He stood up, “I’m gonna get a drink. Do you want anything?”

“Water?”

“I was thinking something stronger for myself, but I can get you water.”

He tried to crack a smile. A brief attempt to break the ice that had settled in, trying to lighten the conditions under which they were meeting. Make it slightly easier for both of them.

She begrudgingly smiled back, admiring his attempts, though knowing that the hard conversations were far from over.

“You have wine?”

He nodded, “Yeah. Always. I’ll be right back.”

Robby went into his kitchen and bustled around, finding glasses and bottles, pouring himself a scotch on the rocks and her a glass of red. He walked back out and handed it to her.

“Thanks,” she said, smiling slightly, taking a sip of the wine.

He sat back down and turned to face her again, his eyes sunken and sad.

“How are you feeling?”

Heather knew that he was deflecting. That he didn’t want to talk about the day, and would rather focus on anything else.

She gave him a knowing look, “I’ve been better. But I’ll be okay. It’s not the first time it’s happened to me.”

His eyes widened slightly, but his expression remained the same, “At work? You’ve miscarried before at work?”

She nodded, “Twice.”

He ran a hand over his face, “Jesus Christ Heather, I’m so sorry-“

“Hey-“ she held up a hand to silence him, “No apologies. Remember?”

Robby nodded, taking a sip of his scotch. The ice crinkling against the glass.

Heather took another sip of her wine, and the two fell silent again. They were both thinking, both processing.

Her eyes widened and she put her glass down and looked at him. “Jake. He was at Pittfest. You gave him the tickets is he—“ she stopped talking, watching how his face contorted in pain. Her lips parted slightly.

“Jake’s fine.” Robby managed to get out. His eyes closed. He swallowed harshly, refusing to let any emotion out.

Heather’s shoulders sunk in relief, but she knew there was something else. She waited for him to speak again.

“His girlfriend, Leah.”

“Oh,” the realization was soft as it escaped her lips.

“We couldn’t— I, couldn’t save her.”

She nodded, once. “She was one of the six.”

He nodded again, his hands beginning to shake. The ice rattling in the glass once more.

“Is Jake—is he—?” the words were lost on her lips. She didn’t know how to ask the question.

“He hates me. Doesn’t want anything to do with me. I don’t blame him—“

“Robby—“

“I killed his girlfriend—“

“—you didn’t kill anyone!”

The silence that fell between them was almost deafening. Robby’s head was looking down at the carpet beneath him. His hands twitching almost involuntarily.

“You didn’t kill anyone.”

Heather repeated her statement, but her voice had softened.

He nodded, letting her know that he heard her.

“I-“ his voice cracked, faltering slightly, “I did everything- literally fucking everything I could. I exhausted every resource. Every drop of blood we could spare. Hell, I even donated some of my own. I used Abbot’s too. And it still wasn’t enough.”

She spoke again and her voice had somehow gotten softer than it was before.

“Sometimes our best isn’t always enough.”

Robby nodded, remembering how he was the one to tell her that after her first loss years ago.

“I know.”

His voice was raw and stained with emotion as he took a shaky sip of his drink. A drop of condensation fell onto the carpet below.

“You did your best and it wasn’t enough to save Leah. But you did manage to save 106 other people. They will get to survive and live their lives. Because of you.”

“But Leah won’t.”

“No. She won’t. And today will stay with you. Leah will stay with you. But I need you to try and focus on the good. You know that’s how we stay sane in this job.”

His lips twitched upwards involuntarily, “When did you become the one to give me the pep talks?”

She continued to look at him, holding his gaze, “This isn’t a pep talk. This is me being honest.”

“Right,” Robby nodded, “Honest.”

“I need you to believe me, to trust what I am telling you.”

He made a sound. Not one of annoyance or understanding. Just a sound.

“Do you trust me?”

He continued to look at her. Steadily holding himself up until he nodded, sharply.

“Good.”

She picked up her wine glass again, taking another slow sip of it. Waiting for him to speak. He took another sip of his own drink, letting the sting of the scotch coat his throat.

“Thank you—for coming—“ he cleared his throat, “For being here.”

Heather nodded, “I’ll always show up, you know that.”

He nodded, averting his gaze from hers, “Yeah. I know.”

She stood up, and walked over to the trash from their Chinese food. She began cleaning it up.

He turned and watched her, “You don’t have to do that y’know. I can clean up,”

Heather smiled softly, “You’re awful at letting people help you, you know that right?”

She put the garbage in the trash next to the kitchen.

Robby nodded, “I know, I know. You’ve mentioned that before.”

She smiled again, though halfheartedly, picking up two of the fortune cookies and throwing one to him. He caught it in one hand and his lips twitched upwards again.

“I still can’t believe you remembered my favourite Chinese place.”

Heather scoffed, a smile still toying on her face, “It’s a pretty damn good Chinese place.”

“Oh trust me. I know.”

She sat down on the couch next to him and began to open the cookie- the plastic crinkling as they both opened them. He cracked the cookie in two and pulled out the piece of paper, unfolding it.

“Self blame builds walls; self forgiveness builds bridges…” Robby read aloud.

“Hmph” Heather muttered, “Fitting.”

He rolled his eyes but smiled softly, “Open yours,”

She unfolded the piece of paper, “The weight of the world is not yours to carry alone.”

“Also fitting,” he commented, prompting her to smile again.

“Looks like you need to blame yourself a little less.”

Her tone was light but her words weighed heavy, her eyes sad as she watched him.

“That’s pretty fucking rich, coming from you,” he retorted, his defensive side poking out just a little.

“I never said I didn’t blame myself for things,” she responded, almost too calmly, “But for this? For what happened today? You can’t blame yourself. You just can’t.”

He closed his eyes as his body tensed again. She watched him carefully.

“Everyone that lost someone today is going to blame me, because they need to blame someone.”

“And I understand that. But you don’t need to add yourself to that list, okay?”

Robby didn’t respond and she grabbed his hand, not harshly, but not softly either.

“Okay?” She repeated. Her gaze was steady and she was watching him. His eyes were still on the carpet in front of them.

Heather squeezed his hand, just enough so he could feel it, “I need an answer, Robby.”

He lowered his head a bit, his shoulders sank, and he pulled his hand away from hers, “I could have done more.”

“No. No.” Heather spoke, her voice harder than he was used to hearing, “I am not letting you go down this spiral. This was not your fault. I need you to understand that.”

Robby looked at her, his expression meek as he listened to her. He nodded once, not saying anything.

“Do you understand me? I need to hear you say it.”

“I understand you,” his voice was low.

“Say the full thing.”

He groaned, “Heather—“ His head fell downwards again.

“No. Say it. I’m not letting you do this. I need you to say it.”

He didn’t respond and she leaned a bit closer, putting her hand back over his, leaning down so that she could look up at his face.

“Michael,” she whispered, “This was not your fault.”

His first name almost felt like venom on her tongue. She hadn’t called him by it in years.

Robby’s eyes widened a little at the use of his first name, and he looked at her. Really looked at her. He saw someone who he once loved, but still cared for staring back at him. Trying to help him, trying to break down his walls that he spent so hard building back up.

He inhaled shakily as he felt her start to rub her thumb softly over the skin of his hand, a minuscule, yet soothing gesture. He continued to stare at her, neither of them moving, neither of them breaking.

“It’s not my fault,” Robby whispered.

As he spoke, one tear slipped out and fell onto the top of Heather’s hand. She didn’t flinch and continued to look at him, as more tears slipped through the cracks of his hard exterior.

She nodded slowly, not wanting to make any sudden movements and using her other hand, raised it to his face and wiped away a few of the tears.

“Say it again,” she whispered, “Say it like you believe it.”

He flinched slightly at being told what to do, especially by her. But he inhaled again, closing his eyes as more tears threatened to fall.

“It’s not my fault.”

As he said it a second time, he felt lighter. His eyes opened and she was nodding again, her own eyes sparkling with tears that she wouldn’t dare let fall. The two stayed that way, staring at one another, neither of them speaking but so much being shared between them regardless.

After what felt like eternity, Robby spoke again. This time, his voice was quiet, almost too quiet. Like if he tried to say it any louder the moment would be over.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to go back.”

She squeezed his hand, her gaze filling with determination.

“You will.”

“How can you be so sure of that?”

“Because I know you.”

Robby studied her.

The way her gaze never once wavered.

The way her eyes shone both with sadness and support, with a small sense of admiration and respect that he knew she harboured for him always.

The way that underneath her calm demeanour and exterior, she was still the girl he had met on her first day of residency during his second year of being a senior attending. The girl that was once scared, he watched grow into an outstanding doctor.

He knew she was right. That he would be able to face another day at the hospital. But right now it felt impossible, almost nauseating. The thought of walking back through those doors.

As if she could read his thoughts, she squeezed his hand again. For a brief second.

“You will keep being the great doctor that I know you are. Because there will always be patients-hell, even doctors that need you.”

Heather paused, unsure of the next few words that were about to escape her lips.

“I need you.”

She exhaled shakily.

“Heather—“

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then how did you mean it?”

He held her gaze, watching as her face turned against her and her eyes softened even more under his stare. She inhaled again, her hand still in his.

“You know how much I care about you, Robby. I know you know that. But I just…can’t.”

Her words felt like a knife to his heart, “You can’t what?” His voice was dry.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up. Forget it. Please.”

That last word was a plea, and Robby knew it. He just nodded, continuing to hold her hand in his.

Heather looked at the clock that sat on his bookshelf. It read 4:47 AM. She had almost been there for two hours. She knew he needed sleep, judging by the lines that continued to crease his tired face.

He followed her gaze to the clock, clearing his throat.

“If you need to go, you can,”

She turned back to him, shaking her head softly, “I was more thinking that you need to sleep.”

He shook his head lightly, “I don’t need sleep.”

“Robby. You need to sleep.” She held his gaze, “I can leave—“

“No.”

His response came out faster than he expected and he paused, collecting his thoughts. His next words coming out barely a whisper, shielded with vulnerability,

“I don’t want to be alone.”

She nodded once, letting go of his hand and standing up,

“I can get extra blankets from the closet and crash on the couch. I don’t mind. You won’t be alone.”

Robby nodded, “Okay.”

His sleep deprivation was catching up to him, and his body physically ached as he stood up, stretching. He winced as almost all of his joints cracked.

He went down the hall, and she heard the bathroom door close. She walked to the closet and dug out the extra throw blankets he had, making herself a makeshift bed on the couch that they were just sitting on.

A few minutes later, the door opened again and he came out holding a small bag- one that she recognized instantly as being the overnight bag she kept at his apartment when they were together.

“I think—“ he cleared his throat, visibly a bit sheepish, “I think that there’s still a toothbrush in here.”

Heather nodded, taking the bag from him, “There should be, yeah. Thanks. I didn’t even know you still had this.”

Robby shrugged, “It was under the sink. Behind a few things”

She unzipped the bag and looked at it. Her belongings from three years ago completely untouched. Like frozen memories. He had kept it, all these years.

She tried to brush off the pangs of sadness that were beginning to form in her chest, digging through the bag and pulling out her old toothbrush.

“I’m gonna get changed. You uh—,” Robby’s voice was gruff, the tiredness seeping into it, “You know where the bathroom is.”

Heather nodded, smiling softly at him as she walked down the hall to the bathroom. Closing the door behind her, she looked around at the familiar tiny room. The white LED light was almost blinding as she stood over the sink, putting the toothpaste onto her old brush.

It was odd. The taste of the toothpaste was the same. The one they shared for months. She spit it out as fast as possible once she was done, rinsing her mouth out with water.

There was a single soft knock at the door just as she finished splashing water onto her face. Dabbing with a towel to dry, she opened the door to see Robby standing there holding what looked like a pair of boxers and an old t shirt of his.

He didn’t hand it directly to her, but spoke quietly.

“I know you didn’t plan to stay the night, and I know you’re probably okay to sleep in what you’re wearing, but if for whatever reason you’re not I dug these out for you.”

Heather looked at the clothes he was holding and back up at him. She nodded once and took the clothes from his hands.

“Okay. Thank you,”

A small smile ghosted his features as he leaned ever so slightly against the doorframe, studying her. She held his gaze, and crossed her arms.

“What are you thinking about right now?”

He paused before answering, “Just reminiscing.”

She gave him a knowing look before tearing her eyes away from his. A soft sigh escaping her.

“Go to bed, Robby. I’ll finish locking the place up.”

Because she knew how to.

“Are you sure?”

Heather nodded, “Yeah. Besides, you look like hell.”

He chuckled. The attempt at breaking whatever was between them didn’t go unnoticed. He nodded, conceding, taking a step back from the doorway.

“Okay. Goodnight.”

She smiled softly as she closed the door to get changed, “Goodnight.”

As the door closed, Robby walked back down the hall to his bedroom. He sighed, running a hand over his beard before crossing the threshold, lightly tapping the door behind him to close it.

He didn’t realize it hadn’t fully closed until he was already lying down in his bed. And he didn’t care to get up and shut it. His eyes drifted closed, the only sound being Heather’s footsteps, after she opened the bathroom door.

As quietly as possible, she turned off all the lights in the apartment, and locked all the doors. She plugged her phone in beside her with the spare charger he kept in the living room, and lied down on the couch, trying her best to get comfortable.

After what felt like hours of trying and failing to find a position she could fall asleep in, she looked at her phone, tapping the screen to illuminate and reveal the time.

7:34AM.

She cursed softly. Her back was hurting on the couch and she knew sleep wasn’t in her future if she stayed lying there on it.

In her severely sleep deprived state, she stood up, grabbed the throw blanket and carefully, but successfully navigated the dark halls of Robby’s apartment, reaching his door and pushing it open ever so slightly.

“Robby,” she whispered. She could see the outline of his body in bed, not moving.

“Robby-“ she whispered a little louder this time.

“Hm?”

There was a soft grunt of acknowledgment from where he lay. But he didn’t move. She spoke again, her voice slightly louder than the whispering had been.

“I can’t sleep on the couch. It’s killing my back. And you can say no but is it okay if—“

He didn’t let her finish her sentence. Just murmured in agreement and moved further over to his side of the bed. She watched him move and she just stood there. Unsure of whether or not she should actually go in.

Robby opened his eyes ever so slightly to see her silhouette briefly illuminated by the moon that was shining through his window. He could almost feel the apprehension radiating off of her.

He patted the space beside him with one hand, “C’mere.”

She quietly walked over to the opposite side of the bed and carefully climbed into it. Pulling her throw blanket over her, to not fully get under the covers.

Everything smelled like him. The blankets, the pillows. Him. Heather blinked hard a few times, trying to push the thoughts out of her mind.

Robby was facing away from her. But she knew he was still awake based on the way she felt his body tense beside her every time she moved, even if it was the smallest shift.

She rolled over, so that she was facing his back. The familiarity of how she used to sleep in this very bed was almost overwhelming. She took a shaky breath, quietly trying to exhale.

Robby was wide awake. He felt every breath, every movement, hell, he could probably even feel every thought she was having.

He didn’t roll over, but he moved his arm backwards, searching for her hand in the dark, finding it and grazing his fingers softly against hers.

Heather almost jumped at the contact, but her breath only hitched slightly.

“It’s okay.”

She heard him whisper, causing her body to relax, but not fully.

“We’re okay. This doesn’t mean anything.”

At that, her body fully relaxed, and she brushed her fingers in reflex against his, signalling to him that she heard him.

He shifted his body ever so slightly to make himself more comfortable, not moving his hand from hers, and eventually, after a while of listening to the other breathing and enjoying the comfortable familiarity of it, they both fell asleep, their fingers just barely intertwined.

[kurapikasgfff]

(in which your loving husband nanami kento will do anything you tell him to)

(fluff, there might be some spelling mistakes sozz, pls enjoy)

“buy me this lol” was the message attached with a video which you sent to your husband, kento. the video you sent him was a large juicy seedless watermelon, of course you weren’t expecting him to actually buy it, you were only joking around after all..

moments later you here keys jingling against the door lock, you get up from your seat on the sofa getting ready to greet kento when he comes in. you quickly make your way to the door, “ hey, baby-” but your words immediately get cut off when you see kento holding a huge watermelon, it looked similar to the one in the video, surely he didn’t actually…

“hey sweetheart, how are you doing? i bought the watermelon you asked for.” kento says slipping off his shoes and properly stepping into the house, he kisses you on the cheek and makes his way to the kitchen counter.

“kento.. why did you actually buy the watermelon?” you say perplexed as you follow him to the kitchen. “what do you mean, love? you’re the one who asked for it, no?” kento says placing the watermelon on the counter.

“i was just kidding kento! obviously you didn’t actually have to get it..” you say.

“oh…” he says looking at the watermelon. “so you don’t want it?” he says returning his gaze to you.

“well- no i didn’t say i didn’t want it either..” you say laughing softly, not actually expecting the juicy watermelon to be in your very presence. “this one looks exactly like the video.. where did you even get it?” you say, with your hand resting on the watermelon.

“I stopped at that market by the river.” kento answers.

“you mean the one that’s 2 hours away!?” you say shocked, not expecting him to go such great lengths just for a watermelon. “babyyy, why would you go that far for a watermelonnn?” you say in disbelief.

“it wasn’t for the watermelon, it was for you.” kento says, his eyes still on you. “I will always do anything you tell me to, love.” he says wrapping his arm around your waist, kissing you on your temple.

“aagh- I know that but…” you say in a loss at words, “fuck, you’re just so good to me.” you say hugging him.

“I will do anything for you, sweetheart. you know that.” kento says embracing you back.

(p.s, guys i’m gonna start working on the requests soon, so don’t think I forgot about it or anything like that, tyty)

[angstyentropy]

The writers of Robin War did not get We Are Robin at all, on re-read it's quite obvious they didn't care for them at all. They treat We Are Robin (WAR) as if it's useless, they're importance is downplayed at every turn and they barely get any moment to shine.

(break because this is a long post)

Most of my issues start after the Robins meet up at the gym. Duke starts giving a speech while his friends stand off to the side. Up until this point Duke has never been treated as a leader and the We Are Robin team have only acted as equals.

Everyone decided independently to go out and fight crime, everyone is on the same page and that's why they work together. They're a group working together because they want to, they aren't a gang working under a gang leader.

Damian immediately shows up, tells them they aren't Robin, tells them to go home, insults them and beats up both Duke and everyone else. On top of dozens of people being arrested our first impressions of We Are Robin are them being portrayed as weak and incompetent, and I hate that this isn't a one time occurrence.

Grayson #15 literally starts with WAR saying they are Robin only to immediately be corrected by the "main four" Robins followed by Dick talking about how inexperienced they are. Not long after we get a two page spread of Damian berating them and beating them with ease.

What happens right after they get trained? They get captured and rendered useless before they could do anything. What happens when they're captured? You guessed it! They get insulted more. They don't even get to show off any training as they escape, they just reach between bars and throw Tim upwards, the next two encounters with the Talons barely show any of WAR fighting either.

I get that this was supposed to show the difference in skill but we haven't been shown WAR doing anything that doesn't show how weak they are, it's overkill and is just discrediting all of them. Plus it's missing the entire point, they aren't meant to fight super villains and they aren't meant to be super soldiers.

For the Third? Fourth? Time now Damian defeats all of them again. Can you tell how tired of this I am yet? Finally after all that we get to see We Are Robin fight!

...But it didn't feel satisfying at all, not to me at least. The fighting is relegated to the background, in the first panel it shows most of them hiding behind a wall while the Talons attack. Then the next one has us focusing on Duke and Damian's conversation and fight. This empowering moment is then turned into Duke, a member of the group getting beat up by Damian again.

The kid who we just met gets his time to shine, he's been afraid this entire time so he must get his moment to be brave here. Nope, he didn't defeat the Talon and is about to die, hopefully another member steps in, showing the teamwork and strengths of We Are Robin? No, Damian saves him and tells him he's not Robin.

Finally we reach the last moment of WAR fighting, there's nothing quite as bad as the others but most of the panel is taken up by conversation and we're left with one image. I'm sorry but one image doesn't make up for the countless times they've been mocked in this event.

That's it, that's everything, that's how We Are Robin was portrayed in Robin War and it was absolutely. fucking. horrendous.

I think it's pretty clear that they only saw We Are Robin as an army, a group of people lead to fight others. This should've been obvious to the writers but WAR isn't an army or a gang, it's a movement and a movement is very different. The Robins aren't pawns to send off into battle to fight super villains. They're kids trying to make a difference, they work together to protect others, they inspire others to join and together they can bring change. That's where their strength comes from.

Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian talk lots about what it means to be Robin and they talk a lot about how WAR aren't Robins. From the get go we're more likely to agree with them, they have all been Robin and we're likely way more attached to those characters. None of them really see anything wrong with their words and you never get to see an argument for WAR's opinions on what Robin is. This removes so much nuance, undermines the entire movement and makes everything they're doing seem meaningless.

Another thing that I think is important to mention is in We Are Robin #6 (the last one before Robin War) the team face off against a Talon. Duke gets shot and Riko steps in front of him, fiercely facing them down. After Riko is taken care beaten alongside Duke, Izzy pulls out a gun to defend them and herself. Dre and Dax saw this from blocks away and came running, saving the others and fighting alongside them. All of them run in head first and the versions of them in Robin War almost look like cowards in comparison.

Then we get this amazing internal dialogue and fight scene, I'll let it speak for itself.

In We Are Robin five of them are taking on one Talon and they didn't even defeat them, in Robin War they seem to be able to beat Talons almost singlehandedly. But they still felt so much more powerful in We Are Robin, fighting side by side with each other. It felt impactful and to me, that small victory was infinitely more important than any win seen in Robin War.

It saddens me because if the writers cared a little bit more it could've been good but they didn't and it really shows.