#followed by not being able to study for a major exam because I was exhausted | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wizkiddx · 4 years ago

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unusable faces

i have exams hence why i needed to write something exceptionally cringe :)

PSA: this is completely inspired from one of my fave writers own blurb @blissfulparker --> completely recommend u go read hers its much better than anything i could ever write!!!! (and just her whole account) = link

Summary: pure exhaustion and mutual pining, Tom Holland x actress!reader

^(just thought this was cute, doesn't really fit aha but full credit to op!!)

A scheduling nightmare would be putting it lightly. Perhaps almost unavoidable but that didn’t make it any less of a hellish form a torture. Harry had very helpfully said it actually was a form of torture, that is sleep deprivation. Y/n loved her job - it was all she’d ever really wanted - yet that thought was quickly becoming not enough to get her through the day. Not when it felt like an interrogation tactic used by the CIA.

To give a quick timeline of the past few days may give a little context:

Thursday - filming the fight scene all day plus an evening-turned-half-the-night-shoot due to some technically difficulties delaying the process.

Friday - flying to New York while doing read throughs of scenes for the next few days; followed immediately by getting glammed and filming the tonight show with Fallon; then a dash across town to the late late show with James Corden; then straight back on a flight to Atlanta that landed at stupid o’clock in the morning

Saturday - a full day of shooting in a mock grand central station set

The press trip to NY had been unplanned… to say the least. But the star of their studios other new release had taken ill - meaning they had slots booked on some of the biggest talk shows in America that would just be abandoned (angering the shows bookers too). It was a waste of perfectly good promo time and since the studio had their two other stars together doing a block of reshoots - it wasn’t a conversation. Much more a call demanding the two of them to be on the plane.

Normally this wouldn’t be such an unmanageable ask either, except the reshoot block was really rather time pressured. You see, the promo tour wasn’t far from beginning meaning they really needed the final film in the can. So really it was a bit of a mess. Just to free up that single day the two were in New York the whole schedule had had to be rejigged - in doing so they’d lost a rare day off too. It was just typical.

The joys of success hey?

Well, that’s at least what Y/n was making herself think whilst her incredibly talented SFX artist was in the process of crafting a deep wound onto her upper arm. The reason why she would be ‘dripping with blood’ whilst at a train station was beyond Y/n to be honest - she hadn’t been allowed to read a lot of the script so even now as filming was drawing to a close, the story arc of the movie she was headlining was still a little ‘fuzzy’.

“So I watched your ‘spill your guts’ thing on YouTube” Ellie giggled whilst reaching over for more prosthetic putty- a technical term apparently

“I’m glad one of us enjoyed the experience” Y/n replied with a sigh, rolling her eyes at the mischievous smirk on her face - no doubt Ellie took great joy out of seeing her suffer through eating a thousand year old egg. Which Y/n swore the taste of was still in her mouth… and it seemed as though it’d never leave.

“Oh don’t worry darling I did too” Nelli called over from the next chair along, where she was doing Tom’s makeup for the day of shoots. “Between that and the animals on Fallon, you made a hell of a lot of people laugh last night” Tom’s artist was referencing the fact one of Jimmys other guests was a zookeeper, so at the end of the interview he had you and Tom join in trying not to scream at the snakes and spiders.

“You mean laugh at us?”

“Well of course darling!” Nelli exclaimed back in an overdramatic bronx accent making all three of the women burst out laughing, Ellie’s unceremonious snorts echoing through the trailer only egged them all on more.

Tom in response, who had otherwise been absent from conversation for the majority of the morning, exclaimed a curse and jumped up in his chair. While you and Ellie collected yourself, Nelli apologised to him.

“Oh sorry love, I’m interrupting your snooze with my uncontrollable comedic gift” She spoke sweetly, even if still taking the moment to flaunt to the other women, as she squeezed his shoulder compassionately.

“No no” Tom waved off her apology, attempting to rub his eye before Nelli swatted his arm away - a stern look for the risk of ruining all her hard work she’d put into making his face look half presentable.

“I’m impressed you can sleep while they poke you with all these er instruments” Y/n added in, having only just realised Tom had been in a light sleep for god knows how long they’d been in that chair. It did seem a bit unlikely, being able to fall asleep as you were dabbed, prodded and brushed.

“Maybe you should try though Y/n… your purple eye bags are proving a struggle even for me” Ellie quipped back, now it was Y/n’s turn to give the stern look. Tom took the explain though, shutting her off from whatever kindly meant insult she was about to throw back at her friend.

“No normally never, I just….” He was cut off by an ear splitting yawn, appearing almost powerful enough to crack his jaw - which would be a disaster, for no one should ruin such a beautiful and sharp jaw line. “…uh-sorry. I just think I ended up taking my NyQuil and DayQuil the wrong way round in the madness of yesterday.” Only Tom, the poor kid often seemed to lacking in any form of common sense - even if those closest to him knew just how intellectual and passionate he could be about the right topic. Affectionately, Nelli scalded his idiocy by jokingly swatting his head with a little tut.

“I can’t believe your still standing then! I’m barely alive and I don’t have any sedatives in my system.” It was true, Y/n was at that stage where every part of her body felt ridiculously heavy… eyes included … eyes especially.

“But I did sleep on the jet back while your stupid self was studying the script!” Tom replied with a pretty inarguable point - at the time he knew her actions were stupid; when their flight took off at 11 PM he was certain that the most valuable asset to his ability to act in the reshoots today would be sleep - rather than character development. And he’d tried to convince Y/n that briefly, but gave up. She was bloody stubborn when she wanted to be.

“Stop competing about who has it worse cos I think it’s me and Nell”Ellie announced - making Nelli agree empathically with her coworker, nodding her head as she looked first to Y/n in her chair then back at Tom.

“Yeh because we have to deal with your unusable faces!!”

After much sarcasm thrown back and fourth, the trailer slowly ebbed it’s way back into serenity and peace as both artists focused on their work. Once Nelli was done she excused herself, Tom staying in the chair in favour of studying (more like staring blankly) at the dialogue for this mornings scenes. His pretence didn’t last long though and while Ellie was busy adding the final touches of fake blood to the now almost completely believable gash that she’d crafted on Y/n’s arm - Y/n had her attention focused the opposite way.

At poor little Tom. He looked so childlike, his slightly puffy eyes looked as if they had weights tied to them - they way he was having fight against gravity to flutter his eyes open, before loosing the next second only for the process to repeat as they dragged downwards. The broad muscles of his neck occasionally seemed to occasionally let up a little, letting his head tilt slowly at first until it gathered enough momentum to throw him off balance. The then sudden movement of his head unconsciously pulling itself back in line caused his eyes to bolt open prior to the whole cycle repeating again. All Y/n wanted to do was let him lay down someone, her heart feeling a tug in her chest just seeing him like that.

Ellie proclaimed her completion of the wound, leaning back to admire her work before looking to get an affirming nod from Y/n. Yet instead, she was too preoccupied gazing at the boy slouched across from them. “Someone seems a little distracted.” Ellie smirked, finally garnering Y/n’s attention, only feeling more and more smug watching a light tint appear on the actors cheeks.

“I-well-no… we need to go.” Y/n ignored her words as though nothing had happened, instead rushing off the chair to get Tom out the chair and onto the awaiting set. They had places to be.

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||| (bcos im lazy)

Honestly when the director, Ed, called for lunch break, it was pretty apparent to be purely as a compassionate gesture to Y/n and Tom. Both of them had tried so hard this morning to fully commit, even so they’d both been almost completely useless. Y/n kept missing cues whilst all Tom’s actions and lines where slow, dragged out and at times completely prompted from someone behind the cameras.

So when the lunch break was called there was only one thing on Y/n’s mind and what sandwich was available in the mess tent was not it. Still standing on the set next to her fake holdall bag she looked toward Tom, who was pulling himself up to standing from the train station bench - the pace of his movement making him look more like an old man.

“You good?” His answer was predictable.

“I’m so fucking shattered”

Tom swore he’d never heard anything sweeter come out of Y/n’s pink lips than her next statement.

“C’mon I know somewhere we can lie down.”

Without any sort of thought Tom blindly agreed, nodding as he took her outstretched hand in his. The gesture in itself brought a fresh wave of comfort to his aching limbs and as his feet stumbled to catchup with her slight head start he leant the majority of his weight into their connected hands.

Neither would admit it but they were ‘a thing’… whatever the hell that meant. It was clear as day to everyone and anyone that worked closely to the two but neither of them had ever broached the topic with each other. They’d worked on a few films together over the years; each time they got closer and closer to the point any job without the other simply wasn’t as good. It was scary though, especially for two actors in the prime of their careers. If they weren’t working the same film they’d likely be the opposite side of the world to each other most of the time - quality time together would be few and far between, Really their jobs didn’t suit dating at all, yet it would be perhaps easier if one half of it worked a ‘normal’ job. Something with consistency, a regular structure. A level of dependability that neither Y/n nor Tom could offer to the other.

So it was terrifying, acknowledging the growth in their magnetic attraction to each other. Both were acutely aware that doing that, confronting their feelings, would most likely signal the beginning of the end.

Although none of this stoped Y/n from returning the gesture, tilting her shoulder into Tom’s left side as they took slow steps through and then out the set building. She steered the two past the hair and makeup trailer and round into a store and extra equipment trailer. Tom tilted his head as she climbed the stairs whilst beckoning for him to follow - it didn’t seem like the most obvious choice. Rolling her eyes, Y/n explained.

“It’s where all the blankets and coats and kept for the raining scenes plusssss no one will disturb us in here.” Again Tom was not in a position to disagree, eyes drooping as his shoulders sagged to the floor. Right now he’d take anything.

So he climbed up the stairs and shut the door behind him, just as Y/n flipped the light on. She was right, it was well equipped and with an almost mountainous supply of red blankets that normally the crew and extra would all be wrapped up in after the freezing rain scenes with all the ‘waterfall machines’ as Y/n called them. However it was also um…. It was cosy. “Oh I don’t think I realised how small it was” She chuckled lightly, since now the door was closed her back was pressed up against the far wall of cabinets and still her front was mere millimetres from Tom.

“I…I don’t mind… if-if you don’t?”

“I’m too tired to care” She giggled in response, and Tom , now with her seal of approval, immediately started ransacking the piled shelves for all their worth creating a floor carpeted in the pale red of the blankets, in an attempt to make it more cosy. Joining in, it was almost remarkable how quickly their bodies suddenly agreed to move, with the new promise of rest mere moments away.

Once the trailer was fully drowned, Tom kicked off his costume shoes and threw his jacket off - it haphazardly landing by the doorway. Y/n copied him, leaving her stood up whilst he had the advantaged of already settling down on the floor, her standing and looking down at him.

The space between the two opposing shelving units was not close spacious enough for two people to lie down whilst keeping a respectable level of personal space. Suddenly feeling a wave of awkwardness, Y/n stayed standing, wringing her hands slightly - whilst fairly certain Tom could hear her heart running at 100 mph.

“You er… gonna stay there or?” Tom, contrary to popular belief, wasn’t a complete idiot - he could see she was suddenly self conscious. He got it too - they’d never crossed this boundary of choosing to cuddle into each other. It had happened once of twice accidentally over there 2 years of knowing each other. Both of those times it was completely accidental, falling asleep watching a movie with a safe distance of space b between the two, only to find hours later their bodies almost completely intwined. Tom would be lying if he said that his heart didnt skip a beat when he had awoken to Y/n’s soft and gently breath fanning into his neck. He’d loved it, but understood that was unconsciously breaking down part of the wall they’d both been the constructors of.

For fear of getting hurt.

So now, as Y/n awkwardly bent down and lay on her side, he thought it was imperative to make her feel comfortable. Naturally then, his arm slid round her shoulders and pulled her down toward his chest, releasing a little breath as he felt her relax, her legs slowly wrapping round one of his.

“This okay?” He murmured, now into the crown of her head as she lay half on her side half on his chest. In reply she nodded into him and Tom couldn’t help but grin- unbeknownst to him but Y/n was doing the exact same thing.

The peace lasted all of 3 seconds until she groaned again.

“What?” Tom enquired as she wriggled out his hold and stood up. Instead of replying though she just leant over and flicked the one harsh light bulb off making Tom chuckle as she fumbled her way back onto the padded floor in the darkness, earning a few grunts from both as she accidentally kicked Tom’s thighs or banged her head on one of the now empty shelves. Fumbling her way back into a comfortable position, occasionally cursing when she stubbed her toe- or Tom did when she accidentally elbowed him in the ribs.

“Comfy?” Tom asked a little sarkily as he squeezed her a little more into his side.

“Mhmmmm… I’m gonna sleep for 100 years”

“Yeh me… me too”

And with that they both almost instantly and in complete unison sagged into each other and the blankets - the pent up stress and tension of the past few days ebbing away.

What the pair had neglected to remember was that sleeping for 100 years wasn’t really an option. The whole crew of 50 people, who wanted to restart filming after 45 minutes, had not been told about Y/n’s little hiding place. The pair were so completely safe in their own little cocoon of comfort they were completely oblivious to their teams calling there names more and more frantically. Completely oblivious to the game of hide and seek the situation had descended into, completely oblivious to Harrys natural annoyance as the director asked him for the whereabouts of the two stars - as though Harry was childminder to the pair of them.

It was Nelli who found them first. She’d and Ellie and Tom’s manager had all been recruited by Harry as part of the man hunt. Both girls, having seen first hand the state of the two this morning, were fairly certain they’d both crashed out somewhere. So Nelli, already with a sneaking suspicion, opened the door gently, her figure blocking the majority of the light from seeping through to the dimly lit inside. The sight she was met with had her actually pouting at the cuteness - and yes its a cringey word but also the only one appropriate.

Between bedding down and barely an hour later the two had managed to become impossibly tighter pressed to each other. Y/n’s face was pressed into the crook of Tom’s neck and his arms seemed to have pulled her on-top of him almost completely. Her left leg was hooked under his right, which was then sandwiched by his left too. They both looked so pure and innocent and god did Nelli know they both needed any extra time they could get.

Nelli cared a lot about Tom, she’d been working with him from the beginning, from the child star days to now. She cared about him like her very annoying surrogate son and she wanted to see him looked after. She also so completely wanted the two stars to stop pining after each other. Because frankly it was getting a little frustrating for everyone else.

So she chose to tactically forget about her discovery, sneaking a photo on the sly before silently pulling the door closed and leaving them to their sleep.

#tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tom holland x famous!reader #tom holland x actress!reader #fluff

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aphrodite-would-be-proud · 4 years ago

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🕯Anon said: just wanna say I adore your writing and how you write Reiner and the kids and the other warriors is my favourite thing ever !! I just wanna give them all hugs :) do u have any hcs for the types of jobs you see them all doing in modernverse ?🕯

The types of jobs they have in modern au

{Annie, Bertolt, Colt, Marcel, Pieck, Porco, Reiner, Zeke, }

{Implied Reiner x reader}

{ "Porto" 1935 by Renato Natali 1883-1979 }

Annie is an Animal rescue worker.

Having had experience as a dog trainer before, it wasn't hard to find a full time job at her local shelter after graduating high school, having volunteered there before.

With time, effort and a lot of energy she made her way into the position of "animal control officer" now she spends her days busting animal's abusers doors and rescuing injured or neglected pets.

With long shifts and a high maintenance job, her time was all poured into her work. Usually she'd be exhausted after a long day.

Despite that, she's fulfilled and satisfied with her job. Not having to deal with a lot of people is a plus too, it's a hard job yes but she prefers it this way.

Her friends are bumped about not being able to see her a lot but they understand, plus she keeps in touch with them by lurking in the group chat only to send a snarky remark to stir the pot every now and then.

Bertolt sees her everyday because they work at the same animal shelter, even if their jobs are different they still walk home together, she also met some different people like Hitch and Marco at her job.

The kids love her job, they think it's badass, especially Gabi and Udo. Gabi because Annie gets to kick people in the face and Udo because he genuinely cares about animals.

She'd never tell anyone this, but part of the reason she wanted the job was because she felt guilty for her past self and wanted to fight for those who couldn't fight for themselves.

Bertolt is a veterinarian.

Having changed his mind post graduation and going to college instead of with Reiner, he graduated after 4 years of studying and is currently working with Annie at the local shelter while also planning to open his own clinic one day.

He takes some animals under his personal care for weeks or months even till they get adopted, he fears something bad will happen to the weak or ill ones if left at the shelter overnight.

Just like Annie, the job takes a lot of his time, not to mention caring for animals off of work. So he's in the same situation as her, but for the sake of his best friend he still finds time to visit and hang out once a week.

Reiner and him still text daily, it's mostly pictures Bertolt took of the animals, Annie on her break, interesting plants he finds along the way. And Reiner replies with pictures of the kids.

They still find time to play basketball together, they try to keep it a secret from Annie because she will kick their ass in it.

Bertolt is comfortable with his job, he feels like he belongs and likes being needed. Yes the long hours are a con but seeing the fruits of his labour grow and get better day by day makes it all worth it.

The kids like visiting his house because there usually will be a new dog or some animal in there every month or so, Reiner makes sure they don't bother the animals.

Something he's never told anyone is a big part of the reason he changed his mind last minute was because Animals feel much safer and secure for him to work with than humans.

Colt is a college student working part time.

He's majoring in nursing, being a four years degree he's trying to balance his studies with work and taking care of Falco.

Zeke offered him to work full time after graduation at his clinic, since he's been working part time there for a while and the pay is good, plus it's really convenientnal.

He has worked different part time jobs in the past like a barista, flower shop assistant, tutor, kindergarten teacher, etc.

Between all his responsibilities he barely has time for himself, his courses end right before his work starts and the small bits in-between is spent on Falco and his friends. Zeke and Pieck try to take some of his responsibility but he refuses saying it's the least he could do to Falco.

He's really good at his job like multitasking, reading people, gaining their trust and having high stamina that he could stay for night shifts even.

He relies on coffee a lot.

Falco sees him as a real life superhero, they weren't that close before but after the incident he really started appreciating his big brother.

Something he keeps inside is that despite pursuing this job because he genuinely wanted to make a difference in people's lives and help the sick, he also felt a crushing guilt after his parents passed away, and so he's trying to save other people's lives now instead.

Marcel is a pilot.

It's a dream he always had since middle school, soon after graduation he joined the military to gain enough flying hours and experience to apply to a commercial airline after taking some mathematics, aviation and some general flying courses.

He was officially hired as a pilot after getting his first class medical certificate to check his health.

His work isn't measured by hours to him but by days, he needs to be available 24/7 in case of an emergency call. Now he's working overseas and far away from his friends.

You've actually never met Marcel, only seen pictures of him and received letters. The person he keeps in touch with the most is Porco.

He likes his work, it's his dream. He doesn't like the work hours and being so absent from his friends and brother, he misses them so much at times.

Pieck is a tattoo artist.

Her shop is actually her old flower shop after she decided to change her career. She's always been good with plants and taking care of them, at that time Colt worked as her assistant.

It wasn't till later after some years of practice and training under other artists that she was confident enough about her skills to start the project

Her art is full of life, mesmerising and beautiful. She puts her soul in every piece and has gained a good reputation because of it, plus having really high ratings and strict hygiene rules, no health inspector could ever challenge her.

Having her own independent work meant that she has a very flexible schedule, being mostly free ment she could pursue other hobbies like gardening.

A peaceful and simple life where she can indulge in her art and be happy is all she ever wanted

Porco is a frequent customer of hers that gets a family discount, Zeke came once before and later sent his friend, a really tall and blonde woman who became her most frequent customer.

Zofia thinks her work is really cool and wants to go and just watch her do her thing, but it's frowned upon to have a kid just sitting at a tattoo shop.

Despite changing into this career, the town people still think of her as the sweet flower shop lady.

Porco is a bartender.

That job came to him by accident more than anything, he was working part time as a bouncer in a local bar but a slot was open after the old bartender suddenly quit and he gave it a chance.

He didn't expect to love it so much, neither did he know about his hidden talent in mixing drinks. So he took it as full time and changed to better bars after gaining the experience he needed.

Being naturally charismatic and good at influencing people, while also multitasking in making drinks and keeping a conversation going, he was instantly a hit in whatever place he worked at.

Working the night shift ment he's mostly free in the morning, he tries to help Pieck with her gardening and is actually attempting to grow some plants at his house.

Naturally whenever there's a gathering, he's the one mixing drinks and being the self assigned bartender who openly judges his friends for their choice in drinks. The charismatic persona being thrown out the window and replaced by a no mouth filter.

He genuinely cares tho, he's the one taking care of someone when they drink more they can handle. It's mostly Colt who underestimates his drinks and is left clinging to Porco who drives him home.

Because of his line of work, tattoos and general brash personality, the kids' parents don't like him even one bit. They're suspicious of him no matter how many times Reiner assures them he's trustworthy.

It's actually only Colt who trusts Falco with him, and maybe Zofia's mom who is at the bar every weekend.

Reiner is a firefighter.

With his mother pushing him into this line of work, he applied for the physical and psychological exams after graduation before getting accepted. He wasn't unprepared per say but actually being in that line of work was more than he could ever prepare for.

It instantly took a great hit at his mental health, so much in fact that he was thankful Bertolt changed his mind last minute and didn't follow him in this job.

It was both everything he ever wanted, like saving people, helping children, animals and knowing it's him who saved them even if it means putting his own life at risk.

But also everything he hated, like the hunting faces and screams of the people who were far too gone for him to save, the recurring nightmares and constant guilt paired with imposter syndrome.

He works a 24/72 shift, meaning he works for a whole day before getting 3 days off. Approximately only working 7-8 days a month, not to mention unpaid leave, sick days and holidays.

So it both gave him a really tight schedule on some days and on others more free time than he knows what to do with, that's why he naturally took the main role of being the kid's caretaker. Looking after his little cousins genuinely helped him and he liked playing the big brother role.

Especially to Gabi, he was the only stable adult in her life. It's common knowledge that you call Reiner first for anything concerning her before her parents because he's more likely to answer and be available.

After meeting you, his life improved to the better as you moved in and became a trustworthy person in his life, someone he can depend on to take care of his little cousins on the days he works.

Not to mention that after you persuaded him to see a therapist, his mental health began improving too.

Gabi may or may have not committed arson at one point, she still wants to be a firefighter despite that and follow in Reiner's footsteps.

He hasn't told anyone beside you this, but he really fears for her, but doesn't have the heart to tell her no.

Zeke is a doctor.

Previously he worked in a hospital but was able to open his own clinic afterwards, Colt was a great help to him at that time when he was getting on his own feet and even worked a lot of unpaid hours.

After that he insisted Colt works an official part time job there with a much higher pay, till he graduates at least. Plus the experience will greatly improve his resume.

Zeke is brilliant at his job, he'd be a perfect doctor wasn't it for the fact he's a huge hypocrite who doesn't follow the advice he gives his patients.

He does a side job in his free time that honestly no one of his friends know what it is, but they know it gained him a lot of connections and made new friends.

Something he always keeps buried inside was that he really never expected himself to become a doctor especially after what his dad did to his mother, and yet here he is. In some way it's like his own personal stepping stone to prove he's a better man than his father ever was.

Bonus:

Falco: middle schooler

He does volunteer work on the weekends, sometimes Udo joins him.

Doesn't want Gabi becoming a firefighter.

Likes all videogames , just all types.

Likes watching cartoons and medical shows with Colt who covers Falco eyes whenever an adult scene is on

His favourite food is chicken nuggets

Wants to try coffee

Is good at PE

Reads comic books

Likes yellow and blue

Gabi: middle schooler

Takes self defence classes and really wants to go to summer camp

Wants to be like Reiner, aspires to be as strong too.

Likes shooter videogames or really hard ones.

Likes watching Anime and cartoons

Her favourite food is Pizza

Wants to try energy drinks

Is also really good at PE and surprisingly good at puzzles.

Likes red and pink

Udo: middle schooler

Takes music classes at the weekend, wants to go to science camp

Kinda wants to be like Reiner or an astronaut.

Likes calming videogames

Likes watching anime and Minecraft let's play

His favourite food is mac and cheese

His favourite drink is strawberry milk

Is good at language classes and creative writing, he also just likes animals a lot.

Likes green and black

Zofia: middle schooler (could've been in a special program)

Takes music classes with Udo

Wants to be a lawyer

Likes co-op Videogames

Likes watching true crime and youtubers drama

Her favourite food is Donuts

She likes strawberry milk and ice tea

Is good at all classes

Likes white and purple

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kaznejis · 4 years ago

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I choose you- Marco Peña x reader

@rayof-sunnie said: Hi! I absolutely love your Marco fanfics and I hope to see more of them, since I literally fell in love with him. I was wondering if you can write a fanfic where the reader (a singer) knows Marco is falling out of love with her and she lets him go and it’s all sad and angst but bam he realizes she’s the one after she sings I choose you by Alessia Cara. Sorry if it’s too much to ask

A/N: Thankyou so much for sending this prompt! I’ve noticed this is a recurring quote during requests and I just want to say that no request is ever too much, I enjoy writing and I love turning your prompts into something real! <3

Sorry for the wait on this one, I had a first draft that I wrote about 1200 words of but then ended up scrapping it- so here’s the second draft!

Word Count: 2820 words

Feel free to send in any prompts!

High school relationships don’t always last. It’s what the people around you had said for years- their advice was always to save relationships for college because then the two of you would have a better chance at surviving the real world. You’d promise to stick to this, going to the lengths of keeping to yourself so that you wouldn’t ever be enticed.

But then, Marco came to your school.

Obviously, you hadn’t jumped straight into it there and then. The two of you had been mere acquaintances at first; nothing but polite smiles in the hallway and casual conversation if you were seated beside each other. Marco had been focusing on sport and Elle Evans at the time, so nothing happened between the two of you.

Though you did think the guy was hot- you couldn’t deny that. With his dark curly hair, broad muscles and smiles to die for; what wasn’t there to like? You brushed it off as just a small interest though due to the whole, you know, saving yourself until college thing.

Nevertheless, Marco’s sort of relationship with Elle quickly crashed to the ground almost as soon as it had started- leaving the boy devastated and confused. This is where you came into the picture, going from an outlined figure in the background to the centre point of the illustration.

It had been like any other day: walk to school, grab essentials from your locker, go to class. Despite this, an interruption came in the pursuit to said class. Marco, leant against his locker with his head resting on the cool metal.

“Hey, uh, are you okay?”

“What?” Marco’s head shot up, his hair a wild mess as he turned to look at you, “Oh, hey Y/N.”

“Hey,” You smiled slightly before repeating your previous statement, “Are you okay?”

Marco turned to lean his back against the locker and practically crumpled into it before releasing a heavy breath out of his nose, “I think everyone in this school is aware of what happened.”

“Yeah,” You coughed out as you lent against the locker beside his, “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“Don’t be, I’m better off without her.”

“Well, at least you're staying confident and optimistic?”

“Yeah,” He laughed, it looked like he hadn’t done that in a while, “It’s the only way to stay afloat.”

You nodded, pursing your lips as you stared at the sad boy beside you, “Do you want to skip class and grab a coffee?”

“Sure.”

And that is where it all began.

It looked like a whirlwind had swept through your dorm room as you rushed to find the bracelet Marco had gifted you for your previous birthday- the two of you were going on a date, something that you hadn’t been able to do in forever due to the stress of college and separation in general. It was weird though, you and Marco had attended the same college therefore causing you to be relieved that a long-distance relationship wouldn’t be necessary.

Despite this, you felt like Marco was far away and not in the vicinity of a 5 minute walk across campus.

At the start of the school year, you and Marco had been attached at the hip- meeting before and after classes, sleeping in each other’s room most nights, doing homework/studying and just generally being together. Eventually, the stress of exam season got to the both of you and seeing each other every day turned to seeing each other once a week.

But now you were just confused, exam season had ended weeks ago but at this point you and Marco saw each other once or twice every two weeks. So, you swallowed your pride and arranged a romantic night out consisting of a candle lit dinner.

Turning in the mirror and running your eyes up and down your outfit- you decided that you looked good. After weeks of wearing nothing but sweatpants and oversized hoodies, wearing a flattering dress was exactly the confidence boost you needed; seeing Marco’s reaction would only fuel that. For the date itself you’d decided on a small Italian restaurant only a few minutes walk from campus, after that the two of you would stroll leisurely back to campus before returning to one of your respective dorms where you would spend the night together. A perfect, fool proof plan.

At least, that’s what you had thought.

The most essential factor for a successful date with your boyfriend…is that said boyfriend actually shows up.

This is the thought you mused to yourself in a burst of sarcasm as you curled into your stupidly thin coat on a bench in front of the restaurant you had arranged to meet Marco at- 40 minutes ago. Exhaling harshly, you hauled yourself up from the bench and did nothing but stare up at the sky as thunder crackled from above. At that moment, you made a decision- one that did not make your dorm the desired location.

Embarrassment filled every fibre of your being as you trudged through the halls of the college dorms completely alone wearing a tight dress and heels. Once you reached the dorm in question, you rapped loudly on the door (which earned you a number of dirty looks) and waited for the person on the other side of the door to answer.

“Hello, Who’s there?” A voice called sleepily from the other side of the door as it opened, “Oh...hey Y/N.”

“Marco,” You pushed past him and walked into the room, moving to grab a fluffy towel, “You better have a great excuse for what happened tonight.”

As you made an attempt to wring out your soaked hair, Marco went and sat back down on the messy bed at the side of the room- he must’ve been asleep, “What do you mean ‘what happened tonight?’ I’ve been asleep since 7, you know college has me exhausted.”

You stopped your frantic scrubbing and paused, letting the towel drop to the floor, “What?”

“Uh, I don’t-”

“You don’t know what you were supposed to do tonight,” You wiped a hand over your face in disbelief, “What we were supposed to do.”

Marco froze, chewing on his fingernail as he visibly tried to remember. “No, I’m sorry-”

“We had plans,” You snapped, causing Marco to snap his mouth shut, “Solid plans for an actual night out for the first time in months.”.

Realisation dawned upon Marco’s face as his whole figure slumped, though his actions showed no signs of regret, “I completely forgot.”

“Yeah, I assumed that.”

Marco huffed loudly, before leaning back on his elbows, “Y/N, I-”

“How long is this going to go on for?”

“What?” Marco raised both eyebrows.

“How long are we going to go on like this?” Despite the sadness you felt your eyes were completely dry, “How long are we going to be in this dying relationship where we never talk and never see each other,” You let out a deadly laugh, “I mean, I haven’t even said I love you in weeks let alone touch you.”

Marco looked down, unable to meet your eyes, “I noticed.”

You had been ready to go off on another rant, but the lack of empathy and straight up emotions in Marco’s voice left you mystified- leaving you feeling defeated, “Me too.”

“What have you noticed?”

“You don’t love me anymore.”

Marco didn’t reply. He just stared blankly at the wall behind you, his face portraying no emotion. That was all you needed in order to nod numbly before hightailing out of there. As the door slammed shut behind you- all you could do was slide down the wall beside it and stare at the bright red heels adorning your feet.

Although not a single emotion slipped out during the initial breakup, the fallout hit you during the following weeks. You did nothing but eat, sleep and go to class; the first two were still very much lacking. To say the least, the people around you were worried- some would pop their head into your room every now and then only to find you curled up in a ball beneath the covers.

Marco, on the other hand, had seemed completely fine; hanging out with friends and keeping up with his usual routine of work and play- at least, that is what your friends had told you. It was almost like he didn’t care, that he was happy you had ended things. A small part of you knew that wasn’t true though. You knew Marco, having seen him at his lowest and highest points- you knew that he hid his sadness behind a mask of either anger or pure joy. This instance was obviously the latter.

Stumbling out of the shower you had finally managed to drag yourself into, you pulled on an old hoodie as you walked towards the exit; where a notice board stood.

There, on the board, was an advertisement for a Karaoke Night in a local bar.

This is exactly what you needed. A chance to let go, sing silly songs and possibly even meet someone new. You would do anything to fill the crater in your heart that Marco had left behind. So, you texted all your friends (who were really just glad to see you enthusiastic about something) and invited them to go with you- it took place that very night, meaning you only had a number of hours before it began.

The bar was a small, hole in the wall venue that students of the college tend to frequent regularly. Despite the majority of patrons not yet being of legal age, the workers found their way around these guidelines and supplied students with the majority of their alcoholic intake.

“It’s really busy here tonight,” Molly, one of your close friends, spoke as you entered the main area, “You sure you still want to sing?”

Shooting her an amused look, you followed the group over to the bar, “That doesn’t faze me, it means more people can appreciate my gorgeous voice.”

“As someone who has never heard it- I’m not sure about that one.”

The whole group burst into laughter, you just shook your head and let out a small huff yourself, “I cannot wait to prove you wrong.”

As each of you settled into a seat on a high-table close to the bar, you all broke into conversation as you fed off of the energy the bar supplied. For once, you weren’t curled into your bed antagonising over what went wrong in your relationship with Marco or sitting in class unable to concentrate because your ex was all you could think about. For the first time in over a month, you felt really great.

Of course, that was abruptly cut short.

“Y/N,” One of your friends gasped, staring at something behind you with wide eyes, “Don’t turn around but Marco just walked in.”

Your entire body seized up, a cold wave of shock trickled down your body, “You’re joking, right?”

She shook her head, sympathy painted her features before she reached forward and squeezed your hand, “Don’t even give him the benefit of looking at you.” All you could do was nod, blinking through the panic that was quickly rising.

“Mhm,” Molly nodded, rubbing your shoulder, “Don’t even talk to him and then blow him away with your singing.”

“Yeah!” A few girls at the table cheered around you, “You’re still going to do that right?”

“No going back.” You twisted your mouth into a nervous smile as the group surrounding you cheered and held up their respective drinks. Taking the girls advice, you didn’t even look at Marco- which was extremely nerve wracking as you had no idea what he looked like or what state he was in. Your night went from being calm and a relief from drama to a tense and gnawing situation as you fought to not look over at Marco; wherever he was.

“The karaoke event is beginning soon! If you want to take part just come up here and grab the mic from whoever is on stage.”

“That’s your queue.” Molly squealed, shaking your shoulder excitedly.

“Not yet.” You laughed, moving away from her teasingly, “I have to work up my confidence first.”

“Hey,” Molly shoved at your shoulder a lot softer this time, “You’ll be great, don’t even think about Marco.”

“How do you always know what to say?”

Molly shrugged, a smile crinkling at her eyes, “I guess I’m just a great friend.”

“Oh, shut up.” You both broke into laughter and continued to talk until the first act came onto the stage, which you all turned to watch and cheer on. The event had a mix of talent, to say the least- some were extremely talented and left the crowd erupting into cheers, though some were obviously there as a dare or joke.

“Who wants to come up next?” The current singer behind the microphone grinned as they held it before them.

“I’ll go!” You yelled without thinking twice, having drunk a little bit of liquid since the original announcement- your friends around you cheered for what felt like the millionth time but the most interesting point was the head of black hair across the room that whipped around in shock at the sound of your voice.

As you clambered up the stairs towards the stage, the guy manning the sound beckoned you over and asked for your song choice, “I choose you by Alessia Cara.” You grinned as the guy gave you an encouraging thumbs up. Grabbing the microphone, you stood in the middle of the stage and waited for your queue to begin singing.

Relishing in the cheers the crowd gifted you with, you grinned nervously as you walked back to the table; laughing as your friends pulled you into their arms and shouted numerous compliments at you.

“Thanks guys,” You smiled, allowing yourself to breath now that you weren’t under the bright lights of the stage, “Told you I could sing.”

“You sure can,” Molly laughed brightly, slight shock showing in her features, “You should do that more.”

Before you could reply, an unusually timid voice sounded behind you, “Hey Y/N.”

Slowly, you turned to face Marco who stood behind you- he had a nervous look on his face as he wrung his hands in circles and silently begged you.

“Marco.”

“Can I talk to you?”

Oh, hell no.” Molly barked, stepping in front of you, “You’ve already broken her hear once.”

“No, Molly,” You pulled her back, smiling at her reassuringly, “I’ll be okay.”

Marco nodded before leading you out of the building as you walked together side by side- it felt weird for him to not have his hand on the small of your back like he usually would in places like that, which only drove in the fact that you were broken up.

“You were amazing up there.”

“Thanks,” You smiled tightly, hugging yourself with your arms with the same enthusiasm.

“Y/N-”

“What do you want Marco?”

He frowned at you, his eyes teared up slightly, “You didn’t give me the chance to speak, Y/N.”

“What?”

“When you said that I didn’t love you anymore,” He gulped and looked down, “You left before I could prove you wrong.”

You pressed your lips together tightly, “Your reaction was enough of an answer.”

He just shook his head, smiling slightly at your antics, “I left you alone after that because I assumed you wanted nothing to do with me...but then I saw you singing tonight and I realised that you are the one for me.”

“Marco-” Your voice wobbled as you looked on at the man before you.

“Please let me speak,” Marco laughed, “I never stopped loving you and I’m so sorry that I made you feel that way. The stress just got to me and I shouldn’t have let you be a victim of that too.”

“It’s okay.”

“No,” Marco wrapped both of your hands in his, he was begging now, “It isn’t and if you let me I will never shut you out like that again.”

“Really?” You hiccupped slightly, tears sliding down your cheeks.

“Yeah.” Marco whispered softly, letting go of your hands to wipe the tears coating your face, “Unless you realised that you’re better off without me and if so-”

“Shut up.” You sighed before reaching forward and pressing a much needed kiss to his lips. Finally, you thought.

“Fuck, I missed that.”

“Just that?”

“No,” He laughed, stroking your cheeks with his thumbs, “I missed everything about you. I know I’ve seemed happy but I really wasn’t.”

You smile sadly at him as you snaked your arms around his neck, “I never stopped loving you too.”

If you would like to be added to my taglist for any future posts- please let me know!

“Good.” And the two of you met in a kiss once again as a nearby street lamp illuminated the night-cold air surrounding you.

#marco peña #Marco peña x reader #Marco x reader #the kissing booth #the kissing booth 2 #Marco #fanfiction #oneshot #imagine

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stopeatingwhales · 4 years ago

Text

“dance with me,” x noel gallagher

this was one of my earliest requests and i’m so unbelievably sorry it’s so overdue! i honestly went all out with writing this (it’s the longest fic i’ve ever written from this date). my honest face by inhaler helped me write the ending/the last part to this, so thank you inhaler anons ;) x

Pairing: high school noel x reader

Warnings: low form of assault, but it’s very brief (from another character - not noel) + A LOT of softness :)

Word count: 4.772

Requested by anon, I’m so sorry it’s so late <3

༉‧₊˚✧

“No, I want you, she’s so heavy is the best song!” I exclaimed, throwing my hands up in the air, a repulsive look plastered on my face. “Imagine thinking that Polythene Pam was the best,” I added, my loathsome expression increasing in disgust.

I was at Noel’s house, sitting on his bed in his shared room, accompanied by his younger brother Liam as Abbey Road by the Beatles blasted out of his record player. The atmosphere of the space was extremely calming - Noel sometimes joining in on Oh! Darling as it spun around on the player, his guitar strumming the notes lightly projecting the song louder, whilst his knee bounced up and down to measure the beat. I laid down on his bed, adorning his scent whiffed all over the sheets as I played with a few of my hair strands, humming along to Paul McCartney’s voice quietly, not interrupting the soothing sounds escaping from Noel’s guitar. The occasional curse word slipped out of Liam’s mouth - his eyes pinned on the simple question written on his homework sheet. He hadn’t done any of his work for the past two weeks, receiving multiple detentions - to which he didn’t attend - until the headteacher of our school decided to threaten him with an expulsion. During the time I was with them, I had slightly helped on a few of the questions littering his maths sheet, hinting at the answers so he would be able to properly figure them out himself. However, trying to teach a naughty 12-year-old how to do long division was exactly like being able to balance a spoon on your nose whilst laughing. Completely and utterly impossible.

Me going over to Noel’s place wasn’t unknown; I tended to go over to theirs once or twice during the week, most times after school because I had nothing better to do. We usually hung out in his room, mainly because we were both drained from how exhausting school always was, and plus, we didn’t need to go anywhere to have a laugh together, we always did. No matter where we were, we somehow found a way to brighten everything up - perhaps by smoking a joint together in a plain field, watching the sunset as we impatiently waited for another rave to pass by us, or by spending our evenings in relaxing moments like these, listening to our favourite albums without a care in the world, the occasional argument slipping out of our mouths about which was the best song - usually ending up in Noel ignoring me for the sum of 10 minutes before I gave in and apologised for my stupid remark. There’s no best song by The Beatles, they’re legendary for a reason.

“Shut it, otherwise I’m ignoring you again,” Noel replied, staring at me with both his eyes squinted together. I lifted my head up from his pillow, scoffing. Knowing this was going to happen, I didn’t reply to his silly remark, dropping my head back down onto his pillow once again. Despite the groggy feeling partnering in the room due to the heater being on, his scent was sweet. He smelt like a packet of heavy Marlboro cigarettes, whisked in with cheap aftershave from the shop down the road because he’s skint from buying too many cigarettes and ‘forgot to buy one the other day’. Nevertheless, it was alluring. I adored his scent, mainly because it reminded me of how the littlest things in life can mean the most to you. It continuously reminded me that doing simple things like these add to the empowering lifestyle of being a teenager in a dying city; Manchester was left to rot due to the prime minister focusing all her time and dedication to unimportant things, rather than helping the poor and lower class. It gave us a sense of freedom, that without the higher class evoking their worry in our troubles, they forgot about everything and let us be. We could do whatever we desired now, whether it be partying until you’re unable to walk for three days, or skipping school because you can’t be bothered to see people that only retaliate at you for petty reasons. It was the bittersweet rivers of life, we were poor but we had fun with it, dancing until our last breath before dawn.

“Noel,” Liam said, lifting his head up from his crinkled worksheet. “Don’t you have that school dance soon?” he added, the temperature of the room now feeling like it was upped one hundred degrees due to my cheeks reddening. Since me and Noel didn’t have that big of a friendship group, and both of us having somewhat a troubled love life for our age, our minds never brushed past the thought of going to the leavers dance. It was itching towards the end of the school year, meaning that we were going to leave school, so going and taking part in the fun of a last dance was quite hyped up. My mind sometimes brushed the idea of me and Noel going together, but we were only friends. Plus, wouldn’t that just be weird?

I tried to subtly raise my head to look at Noel, my eyes trailing from the plain white ceiling to his slim-structured body. The neck of his acoustic guitar was gripped gently by his left hand, his right caressing the strings softly as his playing came to a close from the question hanging in the air. He shifted around in his seat a bit, adjusting where the guitar sat, before clearing his throat and answering the question. I was tempted to ask him the same thing too, my curiosity over the subject now being the only thing pitted in my mind. “Well, yeah but I haven’t got no one to go with, init?” He said, staring straight at Liam, then the piece of paper lying in front of him on his bed. My heart sank a little as that sentence launched out of his mouth abruptly, my thoughts now following on with unspeakable things of what I could’ve answered to that. I knew he really wanted to go with someone, but there wasn’t anyone who would be willing to go out with him, even for just one night.

“Couldn’t you just go with Y/N?” Liam asked, turning his head to look at me. My eyes widened expeditiously, my crimson cheeks now turning to fire as I chewed on my bottom lip. The heat bubbling in my body caused me to feel a slight tingle at my lower back, the feeling of sweat beginning to form on all the spots that weren’t visible to both boys - the skin I owned underneath. “Unless you’ve got someone to go with, but I doubt that,” Liam added, chuckling after his words.

Ignoring his comment, I stayed silent for a few seconds, my eyes darting to my fingers as I fiddled with them - figuring out what to answer. “I mean, we could just go as friends I guess?” I said, now staring straight at Noel. He stared back at me, his eyebrows shifting around a bit, contemplating the idea that was now punctured in his brain. “There’s nothing wrong with that,” I added, reassuring that I did feel the same way at first - friends shouldn’t be going together - when it’s no harm dressing up and having a couple drinks with your best friend, we do that all the time anyways.

“I suppose so,” He replied, nodding his head as he darted his head back to the record player, reaching out for the opened water bottle placed by the record player - taking a short sip of it before carrying on his sentence. “But you have to admit Polythene Pam is the best song,”

~~~

As I walked through the school gates I was for once welcomed with a feeling which wasn’t dread. I gazed around the mundane, dimmed colours of the school’s front whilst anticipation filled my veins whole, adoring my body like a little child, after begging and begging for minutes on end for their guardian to buy them a treat they had been eyeing at for what felt like a year, their carer gives in from the child’s immediate persistence, causing the kid to be on a cloud-nine-level of euphoria and exhilaration. For once, I felt excited; apprehension for the tales ahead buzzed through my body, for my usual, stale state taking a departure once my eyes made contact with the known building for once. Tonight I was going to enjoy myself, even if I despised the majority of the people who were attending. This was one of the last chances I got to enjoy myself at school - and since we’re going for the its-the-last-day-of-the-world vibe - I might as well make the most of it while it lasts.

Walking up to the main building, I saw bright, flashy colours being projected from inside the large hall, reminiscing me of the many raves I had hazily attended with Noel whilst we were drunk off of our heads. The sparkling lights, the huge domes of crowded, drunken teenagers - just like me and him - trying to find a place to fit in, accidentally stumbling into an open, warm embrace to another dimension crammed with unknown faces, an introduction to the exact same embrace they’d be entangled in when they go back home to their parents in the middle of the night - whom were sick to their stomach in worry because they didn’t know where their child was. You belonged to your families, but you refused to believe that life was as bland as it had become; there’s more to life than studying for exams, everyone says. You don’t want to end up like the small percentage of people who refuse to live their lives because it's the only one they’ve got. You want to live your life because it is the only one you’ve got.

My shoes echoed a light tap on the concrete as I paced slowly, my mind entranced in thought, wondering the crowds I’d be exposed to once I set foot inside the chattering room. As I made my way to the glass door, I stared at my reflection briefly, adjusting my hair a little bit due to it falling out of place from the small gusts of wind that had accompanied me on my way to the school. A rush of nervousness focused on my mind until I gripped on the handle, pushing the door open, revealing the view of teenagers dancing about, drinking, laughing or slobbering on each other's faces. My anxieties were cleared when I saw every girl dolled up in dresses; the one I was currently engulfed in wasn’t that nice - it being the only dress I’ve had in my wardrobe for a couple years (since I wholeheartedly have a brutal hate for dresses). I was forced to keep it in my closet in case there was a time and a place I needed it, for unexpected times like these, a leavers disco, my date being my one and only best friend Noel Gallagher. I was astounded to realise it actually sat on me the same as it used to, only a little bit shorter due to me growing in height. I was the same height as Noel, yet we would always have arguments over who was taller - always being shushed by Liam as he was figuring how to write a paragraph describing what happens in Act 5 of Macbeth. Get a room, you two.

Wandering on the sidelines of the grand hall, I picked up on the little decorations which had been ripped off the walls from careless students. The colour of the room was a simple blue, making it quite hard to study everything from the human eyes. Bits of what seemed to be silky red ribbon - the flashing lights of the room making it quite hard to figure out what shade it was - ripped up tissue paper, and a few bursted balloons. Music was playing, blasting out of huge Marshall amps, stacked upon each other on the main stage, where years worth of plays and performances were repetitively played almost every half term, my mind reminiscing on the first play I did in year 7 as a side character. The many screams that escaped people’s mouths as the chorus of Boys Don’t Cry by the Cure, prevented me from living out the memories for the last time as I set foot in the hall. Humming along to the melody, I waved my arms around in the air - not too far out, in case I accidentally come into contact with someone rushing past me - my fingers twiddling together as I spun myself around slightly. The ambience of the room felt very uplifting, reminding me of, yet again, those fun times I had experienced with Noel on the many late nights of the summer holidays.

My eyes briefly caught contact with a table as I was walking - the drinks stand. It sat straight ahead of me, yet it was positioned facing the crowds of people mingling about singing along to the new song that began playing. As each step began bringing me closer to it, I attempted to analyse what was suited up for options, squinted my eyes together. There were four fish-bowl-like tubs, with nothing but flavoured beverage inside them, all of them being a different shade - one lighter than the other, one darker than the other. Once I made it to the table, I continued to vary my choice, my eyes completely enthralled by the options. Bowls were left almost empty, some fully empty. As I placed my finger on the one which had the most drink in it, I squinted my eyes together again, wondering if it was the best choice.

“You come here alone?” chirped up a voice in front of me, behind the table. As I raised my head up, I met eyes with the person, noticing that it was one of mine and Noel’s mates. There were stacks of paper cups lined up behind him, along with one small stack sat on the wooden table beside his stood body - for easy access when having a lot of customers, especially at the start of the dance, when all the people attending want is a drink to murder the awkward atmosphere building up in the place.

Laughing lightly, I smiled. “Well, I’m supposed to be here with Noel,” I said, quickly scanning the room after to see if he had made it yet - clearly not. “But he doesn’t seem to have arrived here yet,”

I heard a laugh escape the boy's mouth. “You and Noel?” he asked, grabbing a spoonful of the drink I was eyeing merely seconds previous, snatching a paper cup from the pile lined up perfectly beside him, gathering some of the drink before splashing the liquid into the cup. “I was wondering when that was going to happen,” he added, more or so mumbled, as if he was trying to hide it from me. I noticed he rolled his eyes slightly, his eyebrows furrowing together as he dropped the spoon he was pouring the drink with back into its original position - inserted into the bowl.

“Sorry?” I asked, confused by his comment. He handed me the drink after swishing it around in his hand a couple times - perhaps to check if there was enough to the point it wouldn’t spill, or maybe because he was stunned by my upfront approach against his words, mustering responses in his head before spitting back at me. It felt like there was a lot on his mind - a lot he wanted to say, most likely things to me.

His eyes wandered around the table separating us. Fixating both his palms on the table, keeping it steady, he sighed, sucking in one side of his mouth before exhaling. “Well, he’s more of a pretentious twat if I’m honest,”

I was shocked. My jaw was practically on its way to drop to the ground and smash at full force - as if it were being thrown off the tallest tower in the world. Why did he say that? “Plus, he’s your best mate, are you that lonely not to go with anyone else?” he scoffed, clearly aiming the question towards why I hadn’t gone with him. There was speculation of him liking me between conversations I had with our small friend group at school, but I tended to avoid bringing it up in conversation; I got too uncomfortable. We weren’t close, he was always there simply whenever we hung out at school. Apart from that, we barely ever saw him, let alone know anything about him.

“Come on Y/N, let’s dance,” he said, circling the table, walking round to where I was standing, my eyes facing the bowls. He grabbed my arm roughly - turning me to look directly at him. “You deserve better than that fucker!” he exclaimed, attempting to drag me closer to him, as he pulled us to the middle of the room, where everyone was dancing. Gripping onto the beverage tightly in my free hand, I pulled it close to me, in case I’d manage to spill anything on the floor, becoming the cause of someone’s injury from slipping and ripping their clothes. His body language seemingly began to turn more aggressive as we made it to the centre of the room, the pressure being put on my wrist getting more and more tight. The idea of me and Noel dancing in the room played on his mind as it did with mine too, noticing the amount of people dancing with their significant others. Perhaps the reason he kept adding so much strength was because he was jealous, the same sort of jealousy when you find out two of your supposed best friends had gone out together and forgot to ask you to come - when without a doubt deliberately did it since they didn’t want you attending. His grip was slowly seeming out more pain in my body.

My hand began to ache; the force he was pushing onto my wrist was causing my hand to tingle from the lack of blood circulation. The idea of throwing my drink at him, knowing I wouldn’t drink it anymore due to what he was doing to me, “Get off of me, you bitch!” I shrieked, jittering my hand around in all ways possible, causing him to turn his face to look at me, scold me perhaps, until I took the chance and threw my drink straight at him - aiming for the eyes like pepper spray gauging to the root of your eyes, blinding you in immediate pain. I heard him shout, instantly releasing his hold from my hand, as I headed to leave the room straight away. Practically everyone had their eyes glued to the pair of us, staring both of us questioningly, the sound of my heels clanking against the wooden floor ringing through my ears painfully as I exited the immensely tensed stiff room.

~~~

Walking outside of the building, I made my way towards the gate I once entered, couching to lean against the wall that was placed beside it. The aged wall felt cold, the little bumps of hardened cement sticking out of the bricks digging into my dress, eventually into my back. The contrast of my heated body against the freezing wall brought a feeling of relaxation - the stressful situation that had previously occurred just moments ago finally began departing from its connection to my thoughts. I held my face in my hands, slowly feeling my wrist go from its numbed state to a softened feeling of fuzz; I moved it around a little bit, noticing I had somewhat control of it now. The past tingly feeling I felt on my hand had come to my head instead, as I started to weave myself into thoughts about what people would take and think from the situation. I was almost certain someone was going to mention it to everyone and everywhere imaginable - casual teenager gossip, a girl got assaulted, spread it around!

As the skies unfolded newer, darker shades, welcoming the night, the stale breeze picked up on itself, cluttering my hair, throwing it to other parts of my face - like how it was before I had entered the building, this time as if I had rolled down a mountain and stood up injury free. Collecting my arms in an embrace to warm me up, I leaned my head back against the brick wall, staring at the twinkling night sky. It was surprising how much light the moon emitted. You didn’t need that many lamp posts at all, unless you were walking in an area where the moon was unable to shimmer its colours: a dull alleyway, where there's only one small light hanging on the wall, basically broken, a flickering light flashing out of it, just managing you to get through the dust and dirt cascaded around you. Almost telling you that, you’ll be able to survive your hardships, as long as you believe in the light to keep shining.

Staring at my shoes, I admired the little sparkles glimmering from my shoes. They were small, short-cut heels that I put on to make myself look fit for the part of a schoolgirl ready to depart from her beautiful teenage life and enter a world of womanhood. I was growing up, and I just hoped that the future that was slowly unravelling itself to me was going to be better than I anticipated it to be. Tonight went to shit, though.

“Y/N?” a voice said, speaking up as it walked through the gate’s entrance. Straight away I was able to know who it was. Noel.

Moving my head from the view of the night sky, I locked eyes with Noel - who was standing in front of me, concern miffed on his eyes. He was clothed in a cheap looking suit, perhaps one he found in his mother's closet which belonged to his father previously, or maybe one he stole from a friend. It fit him perfectly, as if the brand tailored to his bodily structure. His hair looked as if he had done it properly for once, rather than having it in its usual, worn down state. “Why are you sitting alone, and outside in the freezing cold?”

I scoffed, recalling the situation. However, I avoided mentioning it; it would only make the rest of the evening more dreadful to experience. “Rough night,” I mumbled, turning my head to the glowing skies again. “Where were you?” I asked, attempting to change the subject expeditiously. Thankfully, it worked.

“Thought it started at ten,” he replied, walking to lean on the wall beside me, but not sitting like I was. He shuffled his feet a little bit, small, minuscule rocks causing a scraping sound to ripple out from underneath. It was a soothing sound at first, the coarse scratches against the floor reminding me of walking in the middle of a sea of leaves in a park in autumn, completely emptied, without a soul to be seen when there's not a single tree alive and blooming anymore. A ghost town, when in summer would be compressed with thousands of people trying to get past the sweaty, sticky air causing you to cough a couple times. You walk through, stomping on whatever leaf your shoe comes into contact with, a crisp, crunchy sound mounting from it. You slow your pace, wanting to breathe in the cool air, capture the moment before it’s too late and you’re getting your keys to unlock your front door. “Guess not,”

Sighing, I shook my head. “It’s fine, don’t worry, really,” I answered, my eyes trailing to the school building once again. “It’s not like you missed out on anything,”

As if on cue, once my eyes made contact with the place, the loud music that was being projected out of it came to a halt - cutting off mid song, forming goose bumps on my arm out of frustration. You don’t cut off a song halfway, patience, please. I’d always say to Noel, when he got sick and tired of listening to I want you (She’s so heavy) for the fourth time. We’ve listened to it four times! Regardless, you twat. You don’t cut off good music.

I heard Noel snicker lightly, knowing I would get bothered - even if I didn’t physically show it. What was replaced with the rasp, echoing sounds of some random dance song, was the music I was silently waiting for all night. The slow dancing song. The most memorable moment of the night. In all honesty, the song that was playing was bad - but that’s not the point.

As the music progressed on, I imagined myself in the hall, slow dancing with Noel. Tonight made me realise something: over the past year and a bit of mine and his friendship blossoming, he became someone that I needed in my life, in my future. Like how tea needs its milk and sugar. Like how to write you need a pen. You couldn’t take one or the other out of the equation; it wouldn’t make sense - at all. It was weird enough knowing we used to hate each other in class, not because someone said something to the other to piss them off, neither of us really didn’t know. We just hated each other’s presence - until we both shared a spliff together one morning before school; I had forgotten my last cigarette at home, and him - not exactly knowing why he did it - offered to have a hit of his.

“Dance with me,” he said, lifting his body off off the wall, once again standing right in front of me.

“What?”

“Every girl deserves a dance,” he started grabbing my hand, preparing himself to pull me up. Our eyes made stale contact, his brunette eyes interlocking with mine. They had a certain shine to them under the moonlight, a certain twinkle I was never able to notice before. “Especially you,” he added, dragging me up from the icy, dirty floor.

My heart fluttered as he pulled my body close to his, his hand adorning my hip as his other held my hand and pulled it closely to his chest. My grin was as wide as the sun in 360 degree view, heating up my face in a light blush, not noticeable in the dark. A part of me felt as if he noticed; his small smile widened slightly when the rush of warmth embraced my skin. I placed my free hand on his shoulder, allowing my fingers to feel the cheap fabric he was wearing. I didn’t care how expensive or how low-priced, all I needed was Noel, no one else. He knew me like no one else did.

Pulling Noel closer to my body, we began swaying, the soft sounds of the music playing in the background. I’m sure everyone else in the town would be able to hear the music at one point; they used an unreasonable amount of amps for the songs. I hugged his body, adoring his scent once again. The same, cheap, worn down smell, whiffed with what smelt like a hit of weed, perhaps to calm himself down. He looked quite nervous when I first saw him. He was nervous, for me.

“Y/N,” he said, causing me to lift my head from his shoulder. I stared into his obscure, enthralling orbs, my heart softening. His pupils were dilated, his bottom lip sank into his mouth. He seemed anxious, worried about what was happening, until he exhaled his breath, a breath seeming like it was meant to escape decades ago, and cocked his head to the side, leaning in.

Heart pounding, I did the same, as our lips brushed against one another's. The kiss felt extremely overdue, as if it was meant to happen on the morning we first bonded on our new knowledge of our shared habit. He tasted exactly like how I imagined: sweet. Sweet with a hint of honey. Sweet with a hint of hunger, as if this was needed far, far long ago. This kiss was a response to every conversation we ever had, every lock of the eyes, every embrace. We continued swaying whilst our lips adventured on the feeling of something new. Love.

So when you ask me, how was your school dance? Because you like to push your nose into everyone else’s business, I’ll tell you, it was the best night of my life, like the end of all things usually is.

#noel gallagher x reader #liam gallagher #noel gallagher #oasis #britpop #music #90s #imagine #bandimagines #bands #fluff #smut #angst #writing #my writing

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aikrus · 5 years ago

Text

Little Looks

Fandom: Bnha / Mha

Pairings: Todoroki x Reader, Bakugo x Reader Warnings: Takes place in season 4, references Child abuse, nods to scarring from parental figures, and breakups Words: 7,106 Requested by: No one, but feel free to request!! Request/Summary: Everyone has things to deal with, just as everyone has different ways to cope. Some push away those they love, others cry themselves to sleep. There are also the few who throw themselves into helping others. No matter how you cope with the struggles you face, a helping hand rarely hurts.

The walls between the dorms were a little too thin. Everything could be heard across the shallow space that separated the students, it was hard to hide anything. Whether it be their taste in music, friends, or tv shows, your dorm-neighbor knew everything about them.

In Y/n’s case, her unfortunate neighbor had to hear her talking to Shoto late into the night. Ever time he walked her to her room, every time he spent the night- they heard every goodbye and I love you, but now...

Bakugo didn’t like to bother himself with class drama. He never cared about who was dating who or people’s preferences- it held no effect on him so why would he? That was... until he met her.

Y/n was this spunky girl who always had an opinion but never bothered to share it. She always had something to say, but the words never passed her lips. He always wondered what she was thinking about, why she wouldn’t say it. But then he found out.

Y/n held onto all her words, every opinion she had everything she would have said. She kept them to herself- until she could spill every word in her heart to Half-n-Half.

It hurt, but he got it. That bastard was her boyfriend- it only made sense that she would tell him more than anyone else. Doesn’t mean it hurts less. It fucking sucked.

Lying in bed- long after he usually fell asleep, Katsuki had to hear her squeal into the phone, hear her laugh and joke, he had to hear her fall in love. With every passing second, it hurt more and more, and the pillow he clutched onto over his head did nothing to muffle her voice. Bakugo was curled into a ball, tears streaming down his face while he cried- silent sobs shaking his body and making him feel like there was a hole in his chest. Maybe there was.

She was perfect, the only person he could stand in this god-awful world. It was hard to pinpoint when he first fell in love with her, with the loud girl who said nothing.

Perhaps it was the entrance exams- despite being in his arena she came out on top. Sacrificing moments for others yet still getting a few good points herself. Besides, seeing a cute girl take down a huge robot for no reason other than she wanted to (the person she was saving didn’t matter) was really hot.

But maybe it was the first day when she came second in the class ranking for the stupid tests Aizawa Sensai made them do. Competing against her made him feel challenged- but it was in a different way than he felt with Deku or Half-N-Half- it was a good way.

It also could have been during the break-in at the natural disaster center. Watching her fight her way back to the entrance and seeing her run in front of others to defend her classmates definitely made him respect Y/n more than he had before- more than he respected everyone else.

He couldn’t forget about the Sports Festival. Seeing her fight her way to the top, Y/n was always kind until it was time she wasn’t. The intensity she fought with proved that she was there for a purpose. Sure she was a little messy, but she got herself first place. Watching her fight against Todoroki was amazing, she used everything she had, and there were so many new tricks that no one had seen before, it was amazing.

Bakugo had to have fallen in love with her by the time internships rolled around. She had convinced Aizawa-Sensai to take her on for an internship (something that hasn’t happened for years), and he watched her change into a different person, seeing her mature and think through every possibility was breath-taking, and he loved her, even more, every time she predicted someone’s next move.

And even if he didn’t love her by then, he adored her by the time camp rolled around. She owned the forest with how she used her quirk and the way she pushed herself further than anyone else was amazing. He also enjoyed seeing that there was someone there other than him who could function in a kitchen. Seeing her cook for her classmates proved how much she cared for everyone, even though she wasn’t particularly close with most of them.

Seeing the look of pain on her face when he was taken from the camp hurt him more than anything the villains did to him. They had never actually talked much at that point, but he knew she cared for him by the pain in her eyes. She was all he thought about when he was being held, and when she reached out to him during the rescue it felt like everything was right with the world.

And now he had to watch her seem to fall into a depression. While he was making up for failing the license exam she was doing her work study, and she was doing it all with stupid Deku.

The first day they sat at lunch, she sat in her usual seat with Yaoyarozu. After that, she and Deku ended up sitting next to each other- both with painful looks in their eyes. Bakugo couldn’t look at her, she had so much sorrow in those y/e/c eyes of hers, he was thrown back to when he was kidnapped- and he couldn’t handle that again.

Ever since she joined Deku and the weirdo from the big-three, she was crying. Every night, right after silence had taken over the building, he would hear these soft, gasping cries from her room. It hurt to hear them, it always sounded so painful.

Y/n had always been used to crying herself to sleep, self-soothing was a given ability when a person has a quirk people feared. She was used to the pain, the abuse, she could take it.

She could handle the lying in bed for hours awake, silently crying herself to sleep. She was used to the teary eyes and the burning in her throat from wanting to scream but knowing that making a sound wasn’t an option. She knew what it was like to not be able to breathe, to have to hold on to her stomach from the wrenching pain and keep a hand on the top of her head from the migraine that would form.

In time though, she had gotten sloppy. Having a laughing, caring personality ruined her stone-wall approach to problems like these, and she was louder than she was at home- Y/n blamed this on the dorms. It made her soft.

Of course she was crying about Eri, if she had just gone with her instinct- every fiber in her being was telling her to get the girl as far away from Overhaul as possible. She should have done what she believed in- Mirio had stopped her. Y/n understood where he was coming from, but he should have followed her on this. Midoriya was being over-emotional if he hadn’t been so abrasive with the pair then maybe...

No! She couldn’t blame anyone else, this was her fault. The girl was in her arms, she was holding onto her, and Y/n let her go. She ran back to him; because he was going to get violent. She saw it in his eyes, and she was willing to take the blow so that Y/n and her friends wouldn’t get hurt. What a brave little girl.

And sure, the whole Todoroki situation wasn’t making her feel any better. He had pulled Y/n aside earlier that day. She assumed he would talk to her about her sudden mood change, but that wasn’t what happened. He told her that he didn’t want to break up, but he needed a break to focus on catching up with everyone else.

Since then, he hasn't said a word to her. He avoided his girlfriend at all costs, and it really hurt. He told her that they weren’t over, was that because he still wanted to be with her but was overwhelmed, or because he wanted to be done with her but wanted to keep her there if he ever felt like coming back? Was he busy, or did he just not love her anymore?

Her quirk did her no favors, Override was constantly giving her anxiety, and the effect it had on others only hurt more. Sure she could have read his thoughts, but was Y/n ready to hear that answer? Was this her destiny? To fuck everything up and cry herself to sleep?

The gasps were sharper now, they cut through her chest like a dagger and echoed in her room. She wanted sleep, Y/n had been fighting off insomnia for the majority of her life, but it always worsened with stress.

At times like these, she would usually turn to Shinso, a fellow student who ended up in the General Studies course despite having a similar quirk to her. He approached her after the festival to ask about her quirk, and once they saw how similar they were, they learned to latch on to each other.

It was rare to connect with someone with a similar quirk outside of one’s own family, but Shinso and Y/n was a blessing in disguise. They connected with each other over people's fear of them, telling them they would be better as villains. Trust came hard for them, people always assumed they would manipulate their way to the top.

Both having the ability to dictate other's actions was a unique coincidence, and surprisingly Shinso wasn’t overly-jealous of Y/n’s other abilities. Having someone able to read his mind was a nice way to keep him in check, plus they could communicate without others over-hearing what he was saying.

Sure knowing that she also had the power to use a shimmery, translucent, deep red, aura-like stream of fog to manipulate and move objects was a little bothersome, but that just meant he didn’t have to get up and grab his own tray at lunch.

Sadly, Y/n remembered that Shinso had been pulling all-nighters to train on his own, so it was a safe assumption that he would be asleep by now- exhausted by his training. Shoto was also out of the question, he wanted nothing to do with her.

Her other friends wouldn’t be able to talk with her about what was going on, they were sworn to secrecy, and she wasn’t close to anyone else that was doing hero-work with her. Deku was nice and all, but he was too high-strung. He also wouldn’t understand why it was bothering her so much. No one would understand, except for Shoto.

The small gasps still echoed throughout the room, and she rotated her pillow every few minutes to get away from the water. It was so cold, it was so quiet. All alone, she had no one- no one was there, no one cared about here, they would be fine without her- she was always gonna be alone-

Short shallow knocks rasped at her door, snapping Y/n out of the hyperventilating breaths she had fallen into.

“You okay in there?” A gruff voice asked, stained with sleep and lack of usage.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” she called out, not entirely sure of who she was talking to.

“Okay,” the voice said. It was awkward waiting for a response, but neither wanted to talk before the other.

“Goodnight,” he whispered, almost unsure of whether Y/n would hear him or not, and he almost hoped she didn’t, but the shallow ‘night’ that echoed back to him proved she had better ears than he thought she did.

-------

That morning she woke up to a cheery song being played through her wall. Normally waking up to someone blaring music would have pissed her off, but Kelly Clarkson's What Doesn’t Kill You was echoing through her floor, and it almost felt like it was being played for her- as ridiculous as it sounded.

It was a stupid song, but she would invite Momo over for a hag-out / sleep-over after a stressful lesson or exam, and they would scream the words to the classic song.

After getting into her school uniform, Y/n slowly made her way to breakfast. The smell of pancakes made their way into the halls, but she stopped by the room next to hers. She had never been in there, but seeing it in the light reminded her of who resigned in it.

Bakugo Katsuki. The fiery blond that seemed to have a problem with everyone. The sparky guy who was always willing to fight for the smallest of reasons. The stranger that talked to her last night.

It was hard to imagine it. He had always been so aggressive, so hostile, the small voice that checked in on her last night just didn’t fit him, but still it made so much sense in a way that she couldn’t explain.

---------

The rest of the day was weird to say the least. Y/n and the other work study students were put on standby while they waited for news on the operation, but that was only one of the things that were out of place.

Ever now and then, Y/n would sneak a look at Bakugo. Had he even known it was her? Did is matter to him? Why had he reached out to her? Was there a reason? It was a difficult situation, but she’s faced worse scenarios before.

For now, Y/n relished in the moments where she would catch him looking at her. The blush that would light up his face before he turned away from her, the way he would abruptly stop talking if they made eye contact, it made little butterflies scatter in her stomach, the kind of feeling where staying still isn’t an option, and the heat in her chest isn’t stemming from pain. The kind of feeling where what ifs and maybes flash in her vision.

She could see it, if they were together. She could see coffee dates, she could practically feel his hand holding hers. The walks after curfew, the shushing each other when they stay up late laughing. Maybe they could cuddle and watch movies, go on dates to paint the town red. He could be her prince, as long as he never hid her away in a tower.

Though Bakugo was never one to spend time on damsels in distress, at least not for a partner. He would want someone to ride along side him, someone to keep up and help him if he needed it. He wouldn’t want a fragile flower, and he would never treat her like she was. He wan’t an equal, not a follower.

---------

Bakugo couldn’t think straight all day. She was everywhere he looked, always smiling, always doing something. She wouldn’t get out of his head, maybe that’s why he kept looking over at her. She was just so sad, it only makes sense that, as her classmate, he would worry about her. What if she brought down the class average? That wouldn’t be good.

And yes, he was playing a cheesy girl empowerment song, and no he wasn’t embarrassed. I mean sure, he was, but the smile on her face that morning definitely helped ease the pain.

He hadn’t told anyone about his feelings, why would he? And even if there was a reason, who would he tell? Sero’s a dumb ass, Mina would gossip to the entire school, Denki would do something stupid, and Kirishima would never shut up about it. It made sense to just, keep it to himself. For now.

------------

That night, laughter was heard from Y/n’s room for the first time in a while. And who could blame her? Even with all the pain she was facing right now, it was easy to laugh at Bakugo’s dumb jokes. The dad puns were so out of character for him, it was just the thing she needed. The best feeling though, was when they laughed together.

His voice was slightly higher when he laughed. He was one of the people who laughed inwards- choking on the air he was trying to breath. It was a contagious kind of laugh that made those around him happier. It was so rare and beautiful, and it was so perfectly him.

----

The jokes late at night morphed into a good morning and goodnight whispered through the drywall, which eventually became conversations while they got ready for bed or to face the school day.

After that, they would stop by each others room. It started with Y/n needed a towel (her’s were slowly stolen by the girls of 1-A), and Bakugo always had a few spare.

This morphed into waiting for each other to walk together, which then became study sessions. After that, late night studying became hangouts. Whether it be a ridiculously sized puzzle or a horror movie, a cheesy chick-flick or slapstick comedy, they had movie nights more than they didn’t.

And then, it was more likely for them to be in the others room instead of their own. He would sit next to her, wrapped in a giant blanket watching hundreds of horror movies- but it was always followed by something stupid (fifty first dates became a staple). Maybe the jokes weren’t very funny, but it was enough to make Y/n laugh, so it was enought to make Bakugo laugh in return. And as she his behind her hair, she could see a little look her sent her way, his eyes twinkled and it almost felt like this was it- he was her soulmate.

And one night, after studying for an upcoming test, Bakugo fell asleep on her bed. It wasn’t out of the ordinary, but he usually would wake up from his naps hours ago- but Y/n guessed he would just spend the night.

But then, her phone rang. She darted out of her room to met with the other work-study students. They would leave to get Eri in the morning, but for now they needed sleep.

---------

The mission was a success. Eri was saved, but nothings all sunshine and rainbows. There were many injuries. Luckily, Deku remained mostly healthy. That couldn’t be said for everyone thought. Mirio’s quirk was gone, and that was a harsh blow for him to take. The loss of Sir Nighteye devastated him and Y/n, who had grown close to the jokester during her short time with him.

However, that wasn’t the only thing weighting on Y/n. In the heat of the battle, one Mirio was taken out, Y/n was the only one able to protect Eri for around twenty minutes. All of the work was placed onto her.

Override was an extraordinarily powerful quirk, and it has taken her years to gain control over it. It was often bigger than herself, responding to her emotions more often than her orders. The fight was fresh in her mind, the fear running through her, the adrenaline that kept her going. The pain in her body was everywhere, but it wasn’t about her. It was about the little girl who had felt too much and seen to little.

She couldn’t give up, Eri had to be saved. Manipulating the large debris scattered around the room was the easy part. Throwing them at Overhaul and protecting Eri was second nature. It was too easy to put distance between them. It was Mirio that challenged her strength.

The anguish he was is seeped into her mind, Y/n’’s aura was easily tainted by the stress of others. Eri was small and had a heart of gold, Y/n knew she had full trust in the female would-be hero. It was Mirio that had his doubts.

His fear attacked her, and his pain tangled her mind into knots with no walls to protect it. He made it hard to focus, and the pain was unbelievable- but she pushed through. Constantly rebuilding the barrier around Eri, moving Overhaul back further and further, until he was pinned.

It was then Y/n changed her focus. The strain Mirio put on her made the manipulation of the objects too difficult to maintain, so instead she focused on pinning Overhaul. She had to focus, one wrong move and he would be dead- Y/n couldn’t handle another persons blood on her hands.

The red aura that was an extension of herself enveloped his body. Working its way through his ears, in his mouth and noes, it slowly made its way to his brain. She wrapped around it, slowly encasing it wit her aura, until he had gone limp and completely immobile.

She saw every thought in his head, the memories, his hopes, dreams, his greatest accomplishments and worse fears. She saw his neglection, how he was tossed aside. She witnessed his plan, how he was ignored by his father, and the awful things he did behind closed doors. What he said to the league, and the pain he was in right now.

The pain was triggering memories to come rushing up. UA was a great school, but Shoto was everywhere- scattered in her brain. He left, alone. He doesn’t love her anymore, he never did. The classroom was just a place where he fooled her tricked her. He abandoned her. He was like Overhaul’s mentor. The betrayal, the hurt. She felt it from him, it seeped into her mind, twisting her reality. What he felt what he thought, they became a part of her. They mixed with her own emotions, her memories warped around his pain.

Y/n was well aware of how this hurt him, and it hurt her when she did it. All the pain he was in was shared to her, straining and causing tears to form in her eyes. She could take it- the pain was nothing. Eri was all that mattered, she could hold on until help arrived. He couldn’t escape, she couldn’t let him. If she was going to be trash for the rest of her life, if what they told her was right. If she was a villain, if she could never accomplish anything, if she would be no better than they said she was, at least she could do this.

No one had come to save her, she had to save herself. There was not a chance in hell Y/n would let this poor little girl face the same pain she did, all the trauma and the hurt, it ruined her. It broke her, and Eri deserves more than what Y/n had. She can be free, she can be saved by someone other than herself.

Though Y/n and Overhaul were trapped in time, the outside world was still moving. Mirio was losing consciousness, and Eri was confused. All the noises had stopped, nothing was happening. Was it over?

She crawled out of the rock pillar that had formed around her, and what she saw was terrifying. Ruble was everywhere, no where was like how it used to be. And there she was, the girl with the same look in her eyes, the one with the same marks on her body, the bigger version of herself.

Why was there so much red in her air? Why wasn’t she moving? Where was everyone?

------------------

Most of the students had been cleared to go back to school. Eri was placed into isolation, and Mirio had a few more days left. Y/n was supposed to stay for a few more weeks. The duration that she used Override for was more than her mind could take, and her arms had several fractures from debris flying off when she was fighting. Her mind was put under such enormous amount of strain, it had put up amnesia walls to cope.

This has blocked many of the details of the passed few days linked to the significant trauma. While the school was aware of this as a possible drawback from her quirk, they had not made the preparations needed if this ever happened. As a result, she was not cleared to go until they had safely learned what she had blocked from her memory.

News of this had spread faster than the teachers predicted, by the following day the entire school knew of Y/n’s condition. She herself was unaware of the barriers- the entire reason the amnesia walls exist is to prevent her from knowing. Because of this, Y/n only knew that she had injuries and was taken to the hospital.

Aizawa had stayed stayed at the hospital, looking in through her window from time to time to check in on her. He had been the one who knew the most about the girl. He had gone to her home with Allmight when they were getting parents permission for the students to move into the new campus.

---

“Who’s next?” Aizawa asked, cramped next to the man who’s simply too big for this worlds current accommodations.

“Y/l/n Y/n, do you think her parents will be hard to convince?” Allmight asked, looking up from the girls file.

“Not a clue. She’s a sweet girl, but she has her moments where she shuts down. I suppose if her parents are a reflection of her personality, they would understand where we are coming from, but they might take a little convincing. Y/n’s a stubborn girl, I can only assume she gets that from her parents,”

“So who’s gonna take the lead?” All might said, awaiting a response from the sudden silence in the air.

The hero pair hadn’t notice when the driver took a turn down a rode leading to the darker side of town. The hero’s patrolled these streets more often than not- it was hard to assume any of there students, let alone one as bright as Y/n, was a part of this neighborhood. It’s rude to make assumptions, but the stereotypes surrounded these streets more than anywhere else.

They pulled up to an apartment building. She lived on one of the highest floors, apartment 7D. The entrance to the building had no security nor doorman waiting for guests. No one greeted them, the base floor was abandoned.

Ignoring the minor inconvenience of the broken elevator, the pair made there way up six flights of stairs with no complaints, only wondering how long the elevator had been broken for.

The lights in the halls flickered, and loud music carried through the thick doors. People were yelling in adjacent rooms, and a dog was barking somewhere. Then they approached the last, and only silent, door.

Aizawa knocked loudly, hoping Y/n’s parents could hear it over the noise of their neighbors. To their limited surprise, Y/n’s voice called out to them.

“Who’s there?” Her cheerful voice was so out of place in this floor of people. She looked through the peep-hole, and was taken aback to see her teachers outside her door.

She unlocked the four locks she installed on her door, and greeted them. “Hello Sensai’s! I wasn’t expecting a visit,” she told them, opening her door.

“Hello, young Y/l/n, are your parents home?” Allmight asked, smiling at the girl.

“Uhh, why don’t you both come inside? My neighbors can be noisy if they don’t know I have company over. I would have talked to them if you gave me a heads up,” she explained, opening her door all the way.

The two cautiously entered her home, they made an effort not to be rude. Her apartment was small, if it could even be called that. She had a living room to the right of the door, and a small open kitchen to the left. A short hallway branched out in between, most likely holding a bedroom and bathroom. It was a petite apartment, one that they couldn’t believe could house multiple people.

“Don’t mind the bags on the counter, I just got home from grocery shopping. I was making myself a cup of tea, could I offer either of you something? I have tea, water, juice, I still have a hot pot of coffee if you would like,” she said, making her way to the kitchen to take the kettle of the eye.

“Some tea would be nice, if you wouldn’t mind,” Aizawa said, carefully eyeing the apartment before fallowing All might's lead and sitting on the couch.

“Of course, Allmight?”

“I wouldn’t mind some tea, thank you,” he said, his voice slowly getting lower.

The same thoughts were running through both of their heads. Everything was falling together. The walls had no family photos, just some of her with children they didn’t recognize, and a few with some of her classmates. A couple school awards were up on the walls, and the house had a few scattered decorations, such as small plants and white rugs, along with cream colored half-knitted blanket on a one-seater facing across the couch. This was the home of someone who preferred activities and socialization. There was no tv in sight.

“Here you go, careful- they’re still hot,” Y/n said, giving them both their cups of tea. All of the mugs had either quotes from tv shows or beautiful designs, they all fit so perfectly with Y/n’s personality.

“So, Y/n,” Aizawa said, trying to figure out a way to phrase his words.

“I guess I should explain, huh?” She sighed and took a seat across from them, placing her mug on the coffee table and grabbing her knitting supplies. “I was emancipated a few weeks after my fourteenth birthday. Because I’m technically a minor, the government sealed away that information from all my school records, they worried about people having easy access to my information. I’ve lived in this apartment for around two years now. I have full legal control over my education and health, as well as my housing,”

“Well, we’re here to gather permission to move all of the students into dorms at the school. I’m not sure of your financial situation, but-”

“The government pays for my housing as long as it stays beneath 9,500 yen,”

“Then all we need is your signature to confirm that you have no objections to moving into the dorms, understanding that this is for your protection, and it will become our legal duty to keep you and the other students safe,”

---------

Now, only three members of the school faculty knew of Y/n’s full situation, Allmight, himself, and principal Nezu. It was a tricky situation to be in. Y/n had full legal control over her medical care, but she was unaware of the situation. Typically, a person has an emergency contact that they are willing to give control to if they are ever deemed unable to make a fully informed decision for themselves.

However, this person was not allowed to be a minor- and they haven’t found Y/n’s legal documentation of who this was. Because of all that, the doctors haven’t been able to preform any more tests or procedures on her. It was a risk, but Aizawa figured it was necessary.

“Y/n?” He called, after knocking on her hospital door.

“Eraserhead! I wasn’t expecting a visit, come in,” she said, smiling while she sat up. Her arm was in a sling, and her head was wrapped with gauze.

“Y/n, I want to ask you a few questions if you don’t mind,” he said, sitting in the chair next to her. He had been with her or near her for the entire day leading up to the raid, so he knows the majority of what she did that day.

“Of course, go ahead!” She smiled, glad to finally have company. They had kept her in isolation to prevent ant triggers- but they didn’t tell her that people were forbidden from visiting.

“I wanted to start by asking you a simple one. What is the last thing you remember happening?”

It took Y/n a few minutes to find an answer, but she settled on, “I remember Bakugo?”

Aizawa drew his eyebrows and took a deep breath in, “What do you mean exactly?”

“I don’t.. I don’t really know? The last thing I did before waking up here was with Bakugo,” the redness of her face and the fighting of her fingers were clear signs that she was becoming uncomfortable with the conversation- Aizawa knew that. But he couldn’t stop know, he had to know. This couldn’t be for nothing, he had to get something from this conversation.

“Do you know what you two were doing? Where were you two?”

“We,” her breathing became shallow and broken, “Can we do this later?”

“I know this is hard, but I really need to know what you can remember before you were in the hospital,” he pushed harder, sitting up in his chair.

“I said I don’t remember,” Y/n said, pushing back in her bed and sitting up against the headrest.

“You don’t remember anything? You remember me,” Aizawa said, egging her to say more.

“Or course, you’re my,”

A heavy silence filled the room. One filled with uncertainty and fear. It was a word on the top of her tongue, something so close yet in a wall of haze.

“Y/n?” He asked, slowly grabbing a hold of the girls hand once a look of terror came over her face.

“You’re my...”

“You can do it Y/n,” he said, pushing her further, “Just think.”

“You... are my mentor. The internships, yeah! That’s how I know you,” She said, relaxing and sighing heavily.

“Y/n, where do you go to school?”

“I uhh.... I’m sorry. It’s right there,” she said, deeply exhaling.

“That’s okay. You should get some sleep, I’ll come back later,” with a deep sigh he left the room. He didn’t dare look back at the girl sitting in the hospital bed. If he did, he would have saw it. The look of pain, of confusion that she had. It would be too much for him, it would break him.

“Where the hell is she?” A booming voice echoed through the hospital, alerting most of the staff and all of the waiting visitors.

“Sir, sir you need to calm down. She is in an isolation period right now-”

“You think I give a fuck about isolation periods? You’ll tell me where she is, or i’ll go door to door looking for her myself!”

Aizawa didn’t have to walk far before he saw his student causing trouble for the poor nurse across the desk. It was embarrassing to everyone but the blonde pain in the neck.

“Bakugo, lower your voice,” he said, his voice not hiding the lack of sleep he’s gotten since the operation.

“Mr. Aizawa, do you know where Y/n is?” He said, his eyes still holding a hard edge to them.

“Bakugo,” he guided him to a sitting area where they could talk, “Y/l/n is currently suffering from one of the drawbacks from her quirk, it causes-”

“Amnesia walls, I know. She told me all about them, which is why I need to see her,” he said, forgetting who he was talking to exactly.

“Because of these walls,” he rolled his eyes, “the staff can’t be sure exactly what she remembers and what her mind blocked from her. We can’t risk negatively triggering her. We are all trying desperately to find a way to safely give her her memories back, but until then we only want to expose her to things she knows,” he did his best to explain the situation to his troublesome student, but he knew he would most likely fail.

---------

Bakugo sat next to Y/n on her hospital bed, watching her read from a red leather-bound book. He was weary to let him do what he was, but it was legally the best thing to do.

Bakugo had explained that Y/n confided many things to him- one of which was her intense fear of forgetting things after using her quirk. So much so, that she wrote everything that happened to her in a book as soon as she could get back to her dorm. While it wouldn’t have the most recent memories- including those of the actual mission- it would get her brain used to exposing itself to memories it blocked out.

Watching the situation from outside was peculiar. Reading her expressions had never been easier- her usually guarded expression became an open book. From her drawn together eyebrows and slight tears, to the squirming blush and her refusal to make eye-contact with the boy across from her, all of it made the situation seem so much more childish that it really was.

Inside the room was weirder. The atmosphere differed paragraph to paragraph. From her blurting out the inside jokes they had made to mentioning the depressing conversations they had at two am made them laugh and cry. Once and a while she wouldn’t say anything- she was the only one out of the three to know why, but her secrets should stay with her.

Aizawa walked into the room once she had shut her journal. “That;s not everything you’ve thought and seen since the incident, the moments leading up to you using your quirk were never written down, but after a day or two of recovery some of the others present and I will do our best to fill you in on what you missed. Or, maybe you’ll remember on you own,”

“Alright, that sounds good. So, it seems I lost bits and pieces since I entered UA. Some things are still hazy, but my people’s chart is constantly update, so that helps,”

“People chart?” Bakugo asked, crossing his arms.

“Yeah, I have a chart of everyone that plays a part in my life, and I consistently update my emotions towards them. It’s helpful,” she said, blushing lightly.

“Right... I’d like to know what was in the most recent entry, just to see exactly how much you’re still missing,”

“Okay,” she said, re-opening her journal, “the last thing I wrote about was uhh...” she skipped over a few lines, “I got a phone call from Sir in the middle of the night,” she looked ahead, “Me and the other work-study students met up to talk about it. I went back to my room where- never mind. That’s the last thing!” She said, smiling and closing her book.

“Sure,” Aizawa said, turning to walk out, “I’ll come back Morrow,” he shut the door when he left. Shacking his head lightly, he went back to check on Eri.

Y/n rapidly re-read pages of the book before looking up to Bakugo. “I have a question,”

“Well, are you gonna ask it or just sit there like an idiot,” he said, smiling and re-adjusting to a criss-cross position.

“Are we...” she looked back to her book, “dating?”

“Huh?!”

“Well, I have a bunch of the things we did written down, but it’s all really confusing and I can’t understand most of it,” she blushed, scratching the back of her neck.

“Y/n,” he sighed, shaking his head, “We... We aren’t dating. You are dating Todoroki,”

“But that can’t be right,” She scrunched up her noes. “I wrote down that he said he wanted a break from me, and that I was taking up too much of his time from the make-up work he was doing,”

“He what?” Bakugo shouted, not sure who he was mad at most, Todoroki for hurting her so much, Y/n for not telling him, or himself for not trying to ask Y/n out sooner.

“I mean... that’s what I wrote. Did he say anything to you?”

“No I-”

“Y/n! Thank god you’re okay, I’ve been so worried ever since I heard what happened! They wouldn’t let anyone visit you,” A bi-colored haired boy said rushing into the room and pulling Y/n’s torso into a hug, knocking the air out of her lungs like a delayed punch that should have been an illegal move, but the coach wasn’t looking.

“Todoroki?”

“Babe? Since when do you call me by my last name?” He asked, pulling back slightly and looking over at Bakugo.

“What happened, Baby?” He asked, his eyes flickering back and forth between the two people sitting on the hospital bed.

Bakugo would have answered for her, but he seemed to have lost the ability to speak, it was like the world as punishing him with sleep paralysis, but he was awake, and their was no demon at his bed- just the cold reality of the love of his life being with another.

“My quirk made me lose some of my memories, but it’s okay. I have some things written down, and I’ll most likely regain all of them in a few weeks,”

“You have amnesia? Y/n, I saw the news, but what exactly happened?”

“News?” Y/n echoed, looking over at Bakugo who still remained still as a statue. “Katsuki, what exactly happened to me before I came here?”

“Y/n look, It’s really complicated, and-”

“Y/n? Katsuki? When exactly did you two become such close friends?”

“Oh, we have been spending a little bit of time together,” She answered, not looking away from Bakugo’s eyes.

“Seems to be a little more that a little,” Todoroki said, his eyes going back and forth between hers, searching for something he swears is there.

“I guess not everything is what it seemed,” Bakugo snapped at him, startling what once was a peaceful conversation.

“I guess not,” It was hard not to agree with her new friend. Even though she could have sworn that, with the little she had read and started to remember, they were together.

Or did he spend the night with all his friends? Did he bring over their favorite snacks to watch a horror movie, followed by a rom-com so they would be able to sleep. Did he tuck all of his friends into bed after they had a nightmare? She had wrote about all the little things he did, all the nights he had spent comforting her, making her laugh so she would stop crying.

It seemed like they had been dating, or at least they were close to dating, but as Bakugo stood up and stormed out of the room it left Y/n wondering something. Was there anything behind the little looks they shared, or was it all just a fantasy made up to satiate her need for a connection?

It doesn’t really matter anymore, does it? Bakugo is gone, Todoroki is back- but did he ever leave? Maybe there really was a reason her walls were so thick. Maybe Bakugo shouldn’t have been an exception, she had grown too close too quickly, and in a flash his little looks were gone.

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redrobin-detective · 4 years ago

Note

crazy au story: izuku isn't treated like crap by the adults and doesn't get reprimanded as much for actually saving people or doing his best as he at least tries. Also he gets the much needed therapy before he kills himself.

This kinda ended slightly off topic but i found it interesting

Not all men were created equal, Izuku has known that his entire life. Hundreds of years ago, small populations of people all over the world developed unique powers called quirks. Shunned by the normal majority, the quirked became targets of cruelty and abuse. Most were funneled into demeaning, slave-like jobs with no choice in the matter.

“Midoriya, you’ve gotten another acceptance into a prestigious high school. Nagasaki Technical School would be a great fit for you, that makes, what? Nine schools that have waived entrance exams to accept you? Simply marvelous.”

“Thank you, sir,” Izuku beamed. He couldn’t deny he had it good. Izuku was the star student of the school, a member of multiple after school programs and even involved in several studies of the quirked population. He’s just gotten a third essay published in a scientific journal. Mom wanted to frame it but they were running out of room on the wall. “I’m very grateful for NTS’s interest in me but you know I’ve already made up my mind where I’m going to high school.”

“Don’t tell me, you’re still thinking of applying to Yuuei? That’s the school for the quirked freaks not for brilliant young students who will go onto to successful, lucrative careers.”

“I want to be a hero,” Izuku said sternly, not letting his glance stray over to the isolated desk in the far corner of the room. “No matter what people say, the heroes and quirked people in general do great work that I want to be apart of. I’m hoping as the first non-quirked hero, I can help bridge the gap betwe-” The school bell rang, signaling the end of the day. His teacher merely rubbed at his eyes as the class started snatching up their bags.

“Midoriya, it’s time you let go of your silly childhood dreams and started being realistic. You have potential, don’t waste it.” That said, the man grabbed his things and strode out of the room.

“Why the hell do you want to go to Yuuei, Izuku-kun?” Nami said, wrinkling her nose in disgust. “Being in a school filled with freaks who have no future? Bad enough we’ve have to deal with Bakugou in our class. Go to a nice normal school away from the freaks.”

“Kacchan’s not a freak,” Izuku defended harshly, “he’s my best friend and we’re going to be amazing heroes together.”

“Deku, shut up, I don’t need you defending me,” Kacchan said quietly from his lonely section of the classroom. He used to be so loud, so vibrant. But any potentially aggressive offense was put in his file. Another complaint and Kacchan would be locked away, never to be seen again.

“Kacchan,” Mayomo scoffed gathering his bags. “You should’ve dropped that piece of trash the moment he revealed himself as a freak with those exploding hands of his.” He walked past Kacchan’s desk and slapped his notebooks out of his hands before walking all over them. “How about this you explodofreak, why don’t you take a high dive off the roof and think about becoming normal in your next life?”

“Mayomo, that is out of line, I’m reporting you!” Izuku threatened as he jumped out of his seat to help Kacchan grab his things.

“Yeah I’m sure that’ll work as well as all the other reports you’ve sent in,” Mayomo rolled his eyes. “You’re too cool to waste time on trash, see ya when you feel like hanging with real people.”

“Asshole,” Izuku cursed as he neatly set Kacchan’s books back on his desk. “Don’t listen to them Kacchan, they just want to get a rise out of you. In a few months, we’ll be out of this dump and be among the greats at Yuuei.” Stars formed in Izuku’s eyes at the thought. “All those powers, the unique biologies, imagine all the good we’ll be able to- Kacchan?”

But his friend had already shoved his books in his bag and was storming out the door, away from Izuku. Izuku grabbed his bag and chased after.

“Hey come on, wait up,” he said, trailing after his friend. He had other friends in the school, people from club but none came close to the kinship he’d found with his first friend. Kacchan surprise developing a quirk despite no family history hadn’t swayed Izuku in the slightest.

“Stop Deku,” Kacchan said harshly before his voice mellowed out, sounding exhausted. “Just.... stop.”

“S-stop what?”

“Stop pretending!” He hissed, spinning to face Izuku with burning red eyes. “I’m the one being forced into the quirked school. Yuuei might be the top of the shitpile but it’s still nothing compared to all those schools begging to have you. I don’t have a choice, you do. Don’t fuck it up.”

“I’m not,” Izuku emphasized, clutching at the straps of his backpack. “I want this Kacchan, it-it’s not just about you. I want to help people, I think quirks are amazing and what people say about them is wrong. I want to change that.”

“You can’t change the way the world works no more than I can stop my explosions,” Kacchan said wearily, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. Izuku hasn’t seen Kacchan use his quirk in so long; he remembered the early days how happy using his power had made him. Izuku wanted to give Kacchan that love back, make every person see how amazing these quirks were.

“Everyone loves All Might,” Izuku wobbled using his familiar defense.

“Yeah well I’m not fucking All Might,” Kacchan said with an eye roll. “The only reason All Might is treated so well is because his quirk is so goddamn powerful he could wipe everyone out if he wanted. Face the facts, Deku. I’m a worthless freak who’s gonna die two years out of high school because the government doesn’t care about our safety. Go to one of those fancy high schools, save the world,” he turned and walked away slowly, shoulders slumped. “Just don’t fucking forget me, that’s all I ask. You’re the only friend I got.”

“Kacchan,” Izuku whined softly but let his friend go. It hurt so much to see him like this but like he said, Izuku couldn’t change the stupid opinions of the whole world. Was it better to do as Kacchan said? Do what was expected of him and be an upstanding citizen? Or did he follow Kacchan and his heart and become the first non-quirked hero? Mulling over the decision Izuku crept home to his proud mother and a wall full of empty accomplishments.

#sorry ended up off topic but it kind of took on a life of its own #also rip to my first draft which was 75% complete when my computer rebooted #idk what this is but its here

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distinguishedrebeldonut · 4 years ago

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A Near Miss

Summary: A near miss forces you into temporary retirement from supporting the Tribe through bounty hunting, but there are more important things in life. Warnings: Injury and implied violence. Word Count: 1623 Characters: You, the Armorer (can be taken as platonic or more) “Are you sure about this?” “Just do it. It can't hurt much more coming out than it did going in.” There is a weight to Tathe's stare that tells you she is scowling behind her helmet. She shifts her weight and drums her fingers against her elbow and you find yourself wondering how many worst case scenarios she has been considering over the last ten minutes. The medic has encountered injuries that you could never imagine in the course of her career, and in all the years you have known her she has always been cautious. You watch her helmet dip the smallest bit towards the supplies laid out on the table, a hastily assembled assortment of syringes and gauze and suture kits waiting to be put to use. With a harsh sigh and grumbled curse she drops her arms to her sides and steps forward, beckoning her assistant over from where he has been hovering. “My infirmary is no place for bravado. I would expect you of all people to know that,” she says as she plucks a syringe of analgesic from the tray. “I have already had one dose, Tathe. Save it for a true emergency,” you counter, aiming for stoic persuasion. Judging from the way the medic pauses with the needle in midair you know you have missed the mark.

“And what, exactly, would you consider a true emergency? Because from where I am standing having half a foot of metal jutting out from your collarbone looks an awful lot like one,” Tathe growls with a sharp nod at the stick of rebar lanced through your shoulder. When you are unable to come up with a reply she snorts and administers the shot in multiple quick injections around the foreign object, ensuring that the whole area is well and truly numb. “This will be a delicate operation as it is. The last thing I need is you jerking around and making things worse. Understand?”

“Yes, baar'ur,” you relent, unconsciously tensing when Regus steps up to hold you in place. Tathe turns your head to the side with a gentle but insistent pressure on the side of your helmet before reaching for the rebar.

“Don't look,” she mutters. Closing your eyes you nod once, focusing on your breathing as she gets to work on extracting the piece of metal. The removal process is simple enough, a matter of guiding the rebar out the way it came in and flushing the wound with medication to ward off infection. But you can tell by the way the medics pause that the injury is more severe than you had self diagnosed on your way back to the covert. You feel your heart sink when Tathe finally pulls away and allows you to turn your head forward again.

“It is too early to tell if there will be nerve damage. The more immediate problem is the broken bones,” she says, standing to her full height while wiping her gloves on a towel. “You… said that this was the result of a grenade, yes?”

“Yes.” Your voice has gone monotone. Broken bones. Minor things, considering how close you had been to the explosion, but worse than you were hoping for.

“You're looking at three, four weeks minimum,” Tathe busies herself with cleaning and putting away the tools of her trade while Regus fetches material for a sling. “You won't be able to wear your armor until the bones are healed. It will put too much pressure on the joint.”

“Without my armor…”

“You will be unable to hunt.”

A new voice brings the entire infirmary to a standstill. Heart dropping further towards your stomach you turn towards the door and watch the Armorer step into the room, serene as ever. Something akin to shame burns in your chest as you incline your head in respectful greeting. She stops just shy of the exam table and spares the barest hint of acknowledgment for you, the majority of her attention focused on Tathe. You do your best to sit up straight and quietly accept the sling when Regus passes it to you, allowing him to help you secure it. He is mindful not to cross the Armorer's path when he steps away again so Tathe can do a final inspection.

“A month's down time is your recommendation,baar'ur?” the Armorer asks once the medic is finished.

“At a minimum, Alor, yes. A week from now we should know if there is any underlying damage and can begin physical therapy. The bones have not separated far enough to warrant surgery and should heal together on their own.”

“I see.” A silence follows, stretching several heart beats before the Armorer speaks again. “Would you excuse us? We must discuss a change in arrangements.”

If Tathe is at all surprised or insulted at being kicked out of her own domain she does not show it beyond a momentary hesitation. Bowing to the Tribe's leader she slips the last medication into the cabinet and makes her exit, Regus trailing after. The curtain that serves as the door seems to rustle abnormally loud in the quiet they leave behind. Now alone with the Armorer you find it difficult not to fidget as you wait for her to talk. She, however, does not seem keen on breaking the silence again. An eternity passes. With guilt weighing you down you open your mouth to break it yourself when she steps forward, slowly approaching the table where your discarded armor sits in an orderly pile. Her fingers ghost over the pauldron that should have protected you before she picks it up, turning it over to examine it.

“What happened?” she asks and you drop your gaze to your lap, feeling the shame burn all the more.

“Bounty managed to get one over on me. Had one more grenade than I anticipated,” you explain, picking at the corner of the sling. You hear the whisper of leather on metal as she continues her inspection, searching for faults. “Used it to blow up a street corner. I got hit with a chunk of building. Armor stopped the worst of it but by some kind of freak luck that metal rod hit me in the sliver of space not covered by the pauldron.”

“We will have to choose your successor. The Tribe cannot wait for your injuries to heal.”

“I know. I… have a few ideas.” It had given you something to focus on besides the pain on your trip back to Nevarro. A realist by nature you had assumed that you would be out of commission for a time. Granted, not for an entire month, but long enough to hurt the Tribe through the lack of your income. Clearing your throat you make yourself sit up straight again. “Djarin is ready for a more permanent assignment, I think. He has already proven himself a capable hunter. Better than myself, even.”

“Noted.” The Armorer sets the pauldron down and drags her hand over to your cuirass. There are fresh scuff marks and soot smudges on the paint from the grenade, and when she flips it over you catch a trace of blood drying on the corner. The sight of it makes you wince and glance towards the swath of bandages covering your left shoulder. Belatedly you realize that you are going to have to replace your shirt. The entire sleeve and then some are gone, cut away to give Tathe room to work. A pity; you had liked that shirt.

When you pull yourself out of your distracted musing you find the Armorer has at last deigned to look at you. There is a near imperceptible droop to her shoulders now as she studies you and you feel yourself mirroring it. She takes the three steps that separates you, coming to stand just outside your personal sphere. You can tell by the angle of her visor that she is staring at the bandages. Lifting a hand she grazes her fingers across them, her touch so careful and featherlight that you sigh.

“Three inches,” she murmurs, so softly you almost miss it. Blinking, you hum a note of question, exhaustion starting to take hold as the last of your adrenaline fades. Turning her hand she presses her palm against your chest, spreading her fingers so that they span the stretch from the side of your neck down to your heart. “Three inches either way and you would not have made it back.”

“Oh.” Swallowing around the guilt lodged in your throat you raise your good hand up to rest over hers. There are no words you can think of to respond with and you give up searching for them after a minute. You settle for pressing her hand firmer to your chest, willing her to feel the beating of your heart through her glove or the rise and fall of your breathing at the very least. Stepping closer she presses the crown of her helmet to yours, her other hand coming to rest on your knee, completing a ritual that you have both known for years.

“You are home. That is what matters.”

In another few minutes you will separate and the line between leader and follower will fall back into place. A formal meeting will be called and your replacement will be named while you find a new role within the Tribe. She will return to being what she has always been, the rock that anchors the Tribe in a galaxy so determined to tear it apart. But for now you hold each other, giving yourselves permission to feel the vulnerability that makes you human and embracing the comfort of being close to someone you trust with that vulnerability.

====== Baar’ur = Medic Alor = Leader Notes: Yet again I should have been in bed three hours ago but I hit a stride and could not stop myself from finishing this while I was in the zone. I might do a sequel to this one, since this is not at all what I originally meant to write, but it probably won’t be done until the weekend.

#The Mandalorian #Reader Insert #The Armorer #Reader x The Armorer #You x The Armorer

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paging-dr-bowen · 5 years ago

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Tips for success during Basic Science Years

Now that I’ve finished medical school, been awarded my M.D. and landed a spot in my number one choice for residency I will be sharing some advice for what personally helped me succeed throughout all 4 years.

The first two years of Medical School are the ‘Basic Science’ years. They consist of courses in Anatomy, Histology and Cell Biology, Medical Biochemistry, Bioethics, Medical Immunology & Genetics, Neuroscience, Physiology, Community & Preventative Medicine, Behavioral Science, Pathology, Medical Nutrition, Pharmacology, Pathophysiology and some sort of Clinical Reasoning. Different medical schools may have different names for the courses and various ways of teaching/testing understanding of the course concepts but overall the main idea is the same. Below are basic tips for approaching your basic science years. How to swim not sink.

1. Identify the course’s main topics for each module or block. 2. Get organized – schedule in class time, block off study time daily to review new concepts and practice old concepts. Remember: every day you are learning something new is the opportunity to forget something you once mastered so practice, practice, practice. Stick to the time you allot yourself to study. For example: if I gave myself 30 minutes to review Biochem’s lecture notes, once the 30 minutes is up I moved on to the next subject. The following day I would review the content of the previous day’s lecture briefly because repetition is key, not dwelling on one point for too long. Don’t forget to schedule in time to relax, unwind and catch up with friends and family. Because I had a schedule I stuck to, I was able to Netflix, go to the gym daily and have weekly Skype sessions with my loved ones all while averaging about 7-8 hours of sleep nightly. 3. Practice questions are key to studying for medical school. Ask an upper level student for good resources for practice questions for the course, if that’s not possible – ask the professor. My professors provided practice questions before exams as well as during class, I made sure I did them and reviewed the definition and possibility of the other answer choices as well. 4. Figure out what kind of learner you are- Do you like study groups? Do you like to study alone? Do you like audio vs. video? Whatever it is, own it and don’t get distracted by what others around you are doing. 5. Minimize the amount of study resources. Less is more and all the books have the same information. Choose one or two sources that read well, is concise and helps you grasp the information. Books I liked were the BRS series for Physiology. My classmates swore by Netter’s Anatomy, but I barely touched it, spending more time in the Anatomy lab was all I needed. Key – Find what works for you and stick to it. 6. When should you start studying for USMLE Step 1? – You will encounter some classmates swearing that they are conquering flash cards to prepare for Step 1 from the day they began medical school. I am telling you that is unnecessary and *whispers* highly unlikely they are doing that. Medical school is a marathon and it is exhausting. You are being waterboarded with new information in large quantities daily. Your job is to take in the information as best you can and understand it so major concepts will be retained as long-term memory. A good turning point to integrate Step 1 studying would be in the second half of your second year of medical school. 7. Step 1 studying resources are UWORLD, First Aid for Step 1 and Pathoma. You can begin integrating those resources slowly while still taking your basic science courses. However, a true step 1 dedicated study period is needed. This will come after you finish our second year of medical school before you begin your third year. The general blueprint for preparing for this exam is to complete all the UWORLD questions at least once with review of the answers, review the First Aid for Step 1 book at least once and memorize the portions that are just fact. There are also practice exams offered by the testing company that makes the USMLE, they are called NBMEs. It is highly suggested that you complete these forms in conditions similar to test day to gauge your progress in preparation for the exam. They give you a score as a prediction as to what you would score on exam day so you know whether or not you should continue or tweak your study plan. 8. Make time to do extra-curricular activities, get involved in research, stay physically active. Not only will these things bring you joy but they also keep you a well-rounded candidate for residency applications when the time comes during your fourth year of medical school. 9. Make goals for yourself and reassess them quarterly. I had letter grade goals for myself at the beginning of every term and wrote out a plan for achieving those goals. When feeling discouraged to study I would look at the goals I wrote out and it would give me the strength to push on. If you need extra motivation, think of it this way – you want to be a well-informed future physician who understands deeply what they are doing, what you study today is a stepping stone for that. 10. Enjoy the process. Nourish your friendship with your classmates. The journey feels long and arduous, but it’ll be over before you know it and you will soon come to realize that you have joined a field that not many understand what it feels like unless they’ve been through it their selves. Rest when it is time to rest and study when it is time to study. Whatever you are feeling whether it is accomplishment, joy, stress or the feeling that you don’t belong are all valid feelings- just remember that you are not alone and just as many have come before you and succeeded, so will you!

#medical school #medstudent #medschoollife #Studytips #studyblr

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pitiless-achilles-wept · 5 years ago

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Lost Weekends: Chemo Progress Report

Hi friends,

I'm writing you from my sofa, where I spend an increasing amount of time (much to the delight of the cat), at the end of my second post-chemo weekend. My last update was a month ago, right after I had done the considerable work of enrolling in the clinical trial at Penn that looks at treatment with chemotherapy and the immunological agent atezolizumab vs. just chemotherapy. My first session was on January 30th and I had a bit of good luck (for a change) and was randomized to the arm of the trial that got both the chemotherapy agent and the immunological agent, rather than the control group! (That's why I look improbably happy about my IV infusion in the attached photo.)

So far, the side effects are pretty tolerable. They don't really show up until days 2 or 3 which, since I go on Thursdays, pretty much means a Lost Weekend to symptoms. There's nausea, but I'm able to manage it with medication, and then there's very intense fatigue. I said to a friend at the outset of this trial that I consider myself a connoisseur of fatigue, having suffered chronic fatigue for years that was bad enough for them to do a bone marrow biopsy to verify that I didn't have cancer. (That's how I know I didn't have it in 2016.) This particular strain of fatigue is both familiar, in that the physical effects are undeniable and demand immediate rest, and unfamiliar because I get foggy-headed in a way I didn't before. Some folks refer to memory and concentration problems they encounter as "chemo brain," but I think this is less intense, more like being sleep deprived or a little sick. Honestly, the whole package is like having a bad flu. It lasts about 5 days and the symptoms are pretty similar. So, not great. But also not the worst. On this study, I go to Penn for treatment every 3 weeks. It takes all day, in part because when you get treated with a drug that's in trials they have to release it from the "experimental pharmacy," a process that can take multiple hours (as it did last Thursday). I'm really glad I only have to go every 3 weeks (plus visits for scans) and not every week, as I was doing before, both because it gives me the opportunity to recover from the side effects and have a bit more of a normal time in between visits. Also, they are a huge pain.

I know that may seem obvious, since chemo is clearly a terrible way to spend a day. But the truth is that it's actually less bad than the exhausting apparatus surrounding the visit. I tend, as usual, to minimize the more distressing aspects, both to myself and others, because it's just what needs to be done and, in a situation as colossally unfair as this one, the inconvenience or annoyance of actually going to the hospital pales in comparison. But, if you're curious, here's what it's like.

A day going to chemo for me starts pretty early since I live about 45 miles from Philadelphia and since I-95 is always terrible. Driving can take anywhere from an hour and ten minutes (without any traffic) to 2+ hours (if there's an accident). So if I'm supposed to check in at 8:30am I have to leave the house ideally by 6:30--which I NEVER manage to do because I have a lifelong hatred of mornings--but definitely before 7:00. This means getting up around 5:30 or 5:45. Again, I know people get up this early all the time, but if you know me you know that I am basically incapable of falling asleep before 1am (unless I'm very sick).

So I set out on this early venture, but not alone. I have an intrepid and sleepy friend with me to drive, both because I'm not allowed to drive myself home and because parking at the hospital is such a nightmare that often I have to hop out at a corner or intersection to make my appointment time. I did, however, learn that you get completely free parking if you get chemo! (This isn't true for other kinds of appointments.) My intrepid friend will meet up with me again in the cancer center and, usually, work remotely throughout the day while we sit in a series of chairs and check in with a series of doctors. I'm really grateful for this company because something that no one tells you about cancer is how incredibly boring it is a lot of the time.

The first medical thing that happens is that the nurses at the "infusion center" (which always sounds more pleasant than it actually is, as though it should come with scented oils) access the port through which they draw blood (usually about 10 tubes of it) and through which I'll receive chemo later. After they collect blood samples, I head to the waiting room for my oncologist, who I have to check in with before I can receive treatment. We have to wait for my blood tests to come back to prove that my body is functioning well enough for me to poison it. That sounds kind of backwards, but basically I have to have baseline body functions that are good enough for me to withstand chemo. (Oh, at some point they also do my vitals--height, weight, blood pressure, heart rate, oxygen saturation--which they'll collect again several times.) I also consult with my oncologist and the study coordinator about any side effects or questions and have a physical exam of the palpable tumors.

Next, assuming my numbers look good, I can check in for chemo. Penn has private rooms, which is different from the infusion center in Princeton. Some of them have lovely views of the city and some are windowless prison cells. I've had one of each. It's just luck of the draw. But I can certainly confirm that having natural light makes a big difference. By this time I've been at the hospital for 2-3 hours. The next phase is the most frustrating, which is waiting for the experimental pharmacy to release the immunological agent, which I have to receive first. The first time it took about 90 minutes, the second almost 3 hours. Once they get that, they can finally start the infusions. I get the immunological agent, followed by pre-meds for chemo (a long-acting anti-nausea drug, a short-acting one, many others to make the process less awful by controlling my reaction), followed by chemo itself. Together, all the infusions take about 3 hours.

My total time at the hospital is something between 6 and 7 hours. The driving, total, is about 3 hours. So, all in all, it's a 9-10 hour day. I often manage to use this as a time to enjoy the company of the friend who goes with me, since how often do you get to spend that much concerted time together? Often one or both of us is working, though increasingly I get spacey enough that I prefer to read, listen to a podcast, or just nap. Once I get home, I usually nap and, hopefully, see another friend who brings by dinner. These little acts of company make the biggest difference to me. I feel somewhat bad, since my exhaustion means I'm not often up for long visits, but just having another person around is tremendously reassuring. Dropping by, or being there while I nap or read, does a lot to break me out of the isolation that I can feel by being trapped so much in the physical symptoms of my treatment experience.

Illness is very isolating and makes you very vulnerable. No one else can endure the treatment for you and, in a way, the pain and discomfort is fundamentally incommunicable. Yet the emotional experience doesn't have to be similarly incommunicable and company (or well wishes) is a major antidote to that risk. So, as I wrap up this post-chemo weekend, I'd like to say thanks for reading and sharing it with me.

Love, Bex

#my life as a cancer patient #medical update #health update #clinical trials #stage 4 #bex writes

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bladengineer · 5 years ago

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Bladebreakers: College Edition

anyone who’s already read my fics knows exactly what i’m about, so lets get straight to business about the college headcanons im about to slap yall with

also all under the cut bc this went way too long lmfao Hilary and Kenny should follow shortly bc it got really long and im just. oops

Kai is the first to go which is like. logical considering he’s the oldest and most driven out of all of them

not to mention he had the entirety of Hiwatari Corp. about to be put into his name as soon as he reached 18 and he’s just like aw man here we go

to be honest? he’s not keen on taking over the company, never has been (excluding the time where he felt obligated to under his grandfather’s influence) and the thought of actually having too just kinda. embitters him

so he gets himself sucked into the whole Business classes to get himself the necessary qualifications – and despite being bitter, he doesn’t half-ass shit so he studies on the regular

it isn't until Max wrangles him into finally giving his own interests a go and he changes his path to a History Major with a Minor in Business

he is so much happier

History, specifically Ancient History, had always been an avid interest in Kai’s books so he basically dives into his new studies with his own brand of stoic enthusiasm

its also the sole reason why he’s been amassing so many books in his personal collection at home, Hilary had implored him to buy bigger shelves after Max nearly broke his neck tripping over a loose pile

Kai likes to study alone, preferably in his private study (Tyson keeps making fun of him for having a private study at the age of 18, what are you, a grandpa? damn rich kid lmao) with soft instrumental music playing – he’s especially fond of rainy ambience music

of course, Kai is often seated at the back of the classes, but is indisputably one of the best students with very insightful and well-researched essays, naturally, most of his professors adore him

except a select few traditional-minded professors – they’re still bitter that Kai stood his ground when they had overlooked Cleopatra’s history and reduced her to the Ancient Sex Symbol and Kai was ready to cut a bitch at the blatant disrespect towards an Ancient Political Mastermind

the majority in his class has a fat crush on him but thats nothing new

Max, for a long time, had a bit of a dilemma as his parents urge him to start choosing his preferred path; was it going to be Engineering like his Mother or Mechanics like his Father, and honestly? the poor boy was so torn

in the end, he confessed he wanted to do neither – he loved Beyblade but it wasn’t something he wanted to dedicate his life to forever

instead, his heart had always belonged to the ocean and he dreams of being a Marine Biologist

his father was very supportive, while Judy had her doubts so it took a little convincing – in the end, her son’s joy was more important to her and she too gave her blessing for him to pursue his dream

Max goes on to major Zoology, directed towards marine animals, and takes up a minor in Engineering because hey, it pretty much runs in his family and it stayed an avid interest of his

his university wasn’t too far of from Kai’s own, so sometimes when he stays over at Kai’s he gets a free ride to class

he returns the gesture by always providing the best butter croissants for breakfast (they’re still warm too!)

Max usually studies in the campus library, noise-cancelling headphones on, bopping silently to whatever music he’s listening to as he reviews his notes for the next exam

he researches a lot for his topics and has collected so much trivia about the ocean and its inhabitants in general

Max: did you know jellyfishes have no brain? Kai: Max don’t bully Tyson Tyson: excuse me?

the professors love Max tbh, he’s always fully engaged within class so they usually let him get away with things mainly bc he’s just their Favourite

pretty sure half of the university knows of Max in some way or another, being a social butterfly and all and maybe having flooded the campus once by accident

Ray also had a hard time deciding what to do and what to study; being from a rural village with traditions certainly made him question wether he should pursue a modern career or stay within his community

the White Tigers were quick to kick his ass over it however, booting him straight to Kai’s doorstep and telling him to do what he feels was right for him

now, he’s managed to get himself applied to one of the prestigious university for culinary arts – he’s not too sure yet which path he wants to take in terms of culinary skill

he loves cooking and working in a kitchen, however after many work experiences he has found that working at the command of someone else wasn't exactly to his tastes, not to mention, he’d like to dabble in more traditional culinary arts

as of now, Ray particularly enjoys the sweeter side of cooking, preferring to create intricate pastries and confectionaries, often stemming from his chinese roots but also applying his skill within the japanese side of things

his homemade mooncakes are honestly to die for

next to his obvious passion for cooking, he’s also taken up classes in horticulture, mainly bc he’d love to grow his own ingredients and create his own sets of spices and various artisan products

since his career path is very labour focused, he often practices at home and takes inspiration from various chefs all around the world. his bookshelves are full of recipe books and general insightful cookbooks

Max had suggested to him to make videos of his dishes, mainly for self-improvement, but also being able to put them online to start a crowd interest for his work

its going pretty well actually, his videos have become quite popular since they are aesthetically pleasing, the food looks tasty as hell and also a wide crowd of older people have voiced their joy in seeing more traditional confectionary being made

his friends secretly love their birthdays nowadays bc without fail, Ray always gifts them homemade foods, from neat boxes of handcrafted chocolates to cute jars of sweet jams

he knows, he always takes time to create flavours he knows they will appreciate

Tyson, surprisingly, knew exactly what he wanted to do, and it wasn’t anything to do with Beyblade

Hilary: WHAT ARE YOU SICK Tyson: i- no? i just– Ray: hold on maybe he’s running a fever Tyson: would yOU GUYS JUST LISTEN–

look, he loves Beyblade, it’s something he’ll treasure all his life, something he’ll still pursue in the future, but

it won’t be what he wants to do full time

instead, he majors in Anthropology in order to pave his way into Archeology and everyone is so proud they start crying

next to his Major, he also minors in Business, mainly due to his longstanding position within the BBA, with whom he stays as a particular poster boy and star

next to his work with the BBA, he occasionally helps out in the Dojo and everyone kinda realises? that this guy is literally holding down two (2) whole jobs while also studying and if that isn't hardcore my dudes i don’t know

then again, he’s grown a lot and his interest in his father’s career had always accompanied him since he was a kid – however, his studying habits are still all kinds of atrocious and the only reason why he can even halfway ace his exams is bc he refuses to go down quietly, actually is really critical and analytical is he puts his head into it, and the fact that he employs Hilary to stand vigil with a rolled up magazine to smack him back into focus should he slack off

otherwise, he’s friends with most people in his class and regularly exchanges notes with them and even has become a favourite with a select few of his professors

most just find him exhausting but can’t refute his elaborate essays, which are both thoughtful as eyebrow raising

he attends the same university as Kai (much to his chagrin) and they stick together just as much as they bicker (one-sidedly) just like old times – however, they are both ancient history buffs and its one of the very few topics that they can be heard talking about in actual peace without Tyson going apeshit when Kai loses interest in the conversation

Tyson and Kai are also those college students who pull ridiculous all nighters to study

Max once got so nervous for an exam he made a terrifying concoction of Red Bull and Instant Coffee to stay up and study

he aced the exam but he cannot for the life of him remember what he did in those 24hours bc as soon as he went home he crashed for nearly 32hours straight

Tyson and Ray who were present at the time refuse to speak about it and when asked about it, they kinda just. disassociate for a minute at the sheer horror they had witnessed

Kai rarely ever communicates with classmates yet somehow gets always invited to all the frat parties

who are those people? he doesn’t know

#beyblade #bakuten shoot beyblade #beyblade headcanon #engineering some headcanons #bladebreakers #i low-key love those college aus only bc the amount of shenanigans they could get into #actually i should make a more extensive list about their shenanigans #bc this was literally halfway a meta about my own deductions of the characters #HM.

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thisnerdsadventures · 5 years ago

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the last two weeks

Just two weeks ago, my friends and I went out to Yamato’s for the first time.

It was sponsored by our dorm, so we racked up a nearly $1000 bill. We had a great time, but the end of our brunch came, and a few of us took a walk to the common for a Bernie rally, and the others went to the BPL to study. Afterwards, we all wound back on campus, and went about our Saturday doing the usual psetting. The current source of stress was the cup of grapes situation that spiraled wildly out of control, but in hindsight, it seems so inconsequential now. Eleven days ago, my friend and I went to Harvard for the day to decompress from everything. It was a beautiful day - the sun was out, we were wearing our light jackets. We went for ramen for lunch, shopped at a shoe store, and searched hopelessly for hand sanitizer. I had promised to work on my UROP but felt I deserved a day off, as I had been working tirelessly for a while. We walked around, taking it all in, I talked about how I was excited for our dinner on Friday and going to Michigan later in April for a conference. It looked like things might get better. The next day, the rumbling started. Harvard sent an email forbidding international travel. We had heard of the situation intensifying in Italy, but we were still nervously waiting to see what would happen. There were crisis-related rumblings on top of the usual school stress and all the things that had not gone well this semester, and just like that, the next day, MIT took it a step further and cancelled all large major events and banned international travel.

This was the first shock. Just earlier that day, I argued with my friend about her decision to back out of our spring break Spain trip due to coronavirus concerns. But now, five hours later, I sat on the ground in my friend's room as the shock passed over me. Every group chat was nonstop. What about CPW? What about Senior Ball? What about Springfest? Our spring break plans were definitely in the gutter now. Every question sent chills and dread down my spine. I heard someone ask whether commencement would still happen, and I cracked, not being able to face this eventuality that I prayed wouldn't happen. The rest of the day was gone, lost to the questions and stress and emails that ensued from this notification. But there were still personal conflicts. Personal problems, academic stress bubbling up to the surface for weeks, and it was coming to a head. Our dinner just over a week ago nearly didn't happen, but luckily a few of us still went to Harvard for a wonderful time. Our conversations surrounded how Harvard followed our footsteps just a day later on cancelling major events and how changes were so drastic. We contemplated whether the policy would be extended and whether our summer plans would be affected, but decided that that was too far in the future to worry about. So we ran across Harvard in the 30 degree night, snow falling from the sky, enjoying our time, not knowing what was to come. I spent what would be the last weekend preparing for a case. I prepped nonstop and thought I did really well on it in class, just this past Monday. It was a beautiful Monday, we biked to Panda Express with nothing but light jackets and we wished that every day could be like that, feeling like summer had come early in Boston. The situation outside was worsening, and we were watching closely to see what would happen. My friends from LA were trying to convince me to go to San Diego with them for a couple days now that my Spain trip was definitely cancelled. Over Twitter, we found out Princeton closed first, demanding it's undergraduates not come back from break, but i went to bed that Monday early, to prepare for a full day of research to come Tuesday, as my Tuesdays usually go, unblocked to make progress on my research. When I woke up Tuesday, there was something wrong. I knew from the blast of notifications from every group chat on every social media account I owned. My Harvard chat was 100+ messages deep by 9:30am from their closure and eviction of undergraduate students. I sat up immediately in bed and opened the other group chats, trembling. Another group of my friends were already organizing storage and coordinating travel ideas in the case that we would also be following suit after Harvard.

I dashed to my computer to access all the other texts and call my dad, who was still awake in Taiwan. He told me to calm down and to wait. But just 30 minutes later, a screenshot leaked, confirming our worst fears - we would also be leaving campus in just a week, moving out for the semester. all classes would be online. My stomach dropped. In my attendance-based class, 2/3 of the class was present, and most were on their phone, checking for updates. We all anxiously waited the rumored 1pm email that would make it official. Everyone knew at this point, and seniors were feeling it all now, the shock, the grief, the celebration already of 4 years on campus. My friends and I cracked open a bottle of wine and took pictures on Killian with the hundreds of other students partying until 5pm. At 5pm though, the email released. It was official. All undergraduates were to move out in a week.

My floor exploded - flights frantically booked. What about storage? I called my mom and she was on it - Sunday afternoon flight booked, same one as my friend. And there was nothing to do except stare out the window of my friends room into the Boston skyline and finish off my wine bottle. And like many of my graduating peers, I realized that my senior year was done, and that I had not even a week to say goodbye to my home and to my friends. I started sobbing, nonstop. I hadn't cried like this since high school. My head of house started up a video call to the whole dorm, and hearing them talk logistics made me cry harder, and when I thought I stopped, I checked my phone and found an email from my professor berating the administration and acknowledging our irreplaceable loss. I cried again, harder. would commencement happen? Even if it did, my dad wouldn't be able to fly into the country. I continued to sob at the thought. After two hours, I eventually found my way to my friends bed where I fell asleep next to her until dinner, and with my eyes no longer swollen from tears, I wandered down to the dining hall with them. We saw other seniors, who had also been crying, judging from the redness in their eyes and cracks in their voices. The pain felt numb for me at this point. My friends stuck around for a bit, and we played some video games. No one on the floor was working, as we all had too much going on in our heads. The house team worked tirelessly to organize storage, and few of us slept that night. We stayed up chatting in the lobby about our families and going home and afterwards lied in our beds, sleepless, staring at the ceiling. The next day, I had just one class to go to, as large classes had been cancelled already. The campus was buzzing with yesterday's events. And in that class, we said our parting goodbyes, and many of us teared up yet again. But we laughed so hard too in that class, as we shared stories from our case just two days ago and for a moment, we forgot our pain. We took a class photo before we parted ways. After class, we lined up for an hour, each and every student, to personally thank our professor.

My senior friends and I shared many meals together, and we parted, saying we'd see each other once again before we left. I watched my best friend take her swim test and watched as giant friend groups of other seniors came and cheered on their friends, fulfilling their last graduation requirement. To watch everyone support each other in these trying times brought warmth to my heart. I went home and ate dinner with my floor family, as we sat on the windowsills and drank boba and ate grilled cheeses. I was exhausted though, so I planned to go to bed at midnight, but I received a message from my best friend - she no longer was leaving on Monday, she was leaving in just eight hours.

I ran to maseeh and helped her pack until 5am. We packed up her curtains and I held her as she cried because she thought her parents were going to help her pack up her last year, just as they helped her screw in her curtains at the beginning of the year. I helped her store her stuff in the student center and we threw out bounties of trash and food. After I left, I knew with a sinking feeling that I wouldn't see her again for a while. And she cried a few more times and left early Thursday morning. When I woke up, she was gone. So I started cleaning and packing. The first boxes arrived in the green living room. In cleaning out my room, I found stuff from my first days of freshman year, my 8.02 exams, my chemistry notes, old electronics projects hidden away in boxes. And it was finally the end of my road, and so it was time to say goodbye to them. I spent so long mindlessly throwing stuff out, I had forgotten to leave McCormick until I finally went down to the lobby to hang out. And I hung out there for two hours, talking to everyone and anyone. I did a boba order for the ballerz, and my floor did yet another free dinner, so we once again ate together, laughing over the copious amount of free food on the kitchen table. Five or six of us returned to chatting and laughing about studying at home with family around in someone's room. A friend of mine invited us over to play Smash at BC, so we went and played a couple rounds. We returned to slowly packing until 11pm.

Things had been looking ok, as my dorm had dropped large amounts of money in buying everyone nice food. But when everyone received the emergency message from MIT telling us to leave by Sunday instead of Tuesday on Thursday night, the dorm exploded. Group chats started going off endlessly, with rumors of students already being sick or being quarantined on campus. I ran to my friends room, where she was already on the phone with her family, rebooking her flight for Saturday. "Just two days?" I thought to myself. "Not even two days I have left now with her and everyone and this home." She hung up the phone and started spilling rumors of Boston Logan closing on Monday. I melted to the floor, having a full panic attack. The dorm’s chat, another dorm’s chat, and every friend group chat started inciting even more fear and panic with each additional rumor. My ears were buzzing and my vision was blurring as I continued sitting on the floor. GRAs were woken up and started doing rounds on each floor, even though it was well past midnight at this point, to check on all the residents, many of whom were gathered in clusters around the floor. I went downstairs to talk to my GRA when I received a text from my friend. Chills ran down my back - "California might shut down within 24-48 hours." I did the math. The flight I rescheduled to just an hour ago was in 45 hours on Saturday afternoon. I felt another panic attack creeping up on me, so I ran off to talk to my friend. I went back up to my floor, where people were still yelling in the kitchen. She was off to the side, frantically still talking on the phone. Once I had calmed down a bit, I pulled her aside and told her about these messages, and she confirmed them in another group chat, showing me essentially a screenshot of a screenshot of a message in an unnamed group hat. Speechless, I stood in the hallway with her facing me. I guess she didn't know what else to do but hug me and reassure me it would be ok, because we had hit the point of simply not knowing what to do but say "I'm so sorry" to each other, as if it would ease the pain. I stayed up till 4:30am packing. My other friend called me, imploring me to change my flight to Friday, just 12 hours from then. I asked her bluntly, acknowledging my lack of family around the country - "if I can't go home, where am I supposed to go?" She promised I could stay with her in Texas and I stared back in disbelief, that we would reach this point of possibility that we would have no place to go, but that people would be so nice to open their homes to others who simply had no other place to go. I stared at my hopelessly unpacked room, the half consumed cider on the desk, and my sheer exhaustion, which had been kept awake by adrenaline. I called my mom again, who I'm sure was also was sleepless and asked whether our neighbor had also changed her flight. She said she didn't know whether they were able to change it. The next morning, two people woke me up two different times. Early in the morning, I fought for laundry machines and finished up most of my packing. That afternoon, I hung out in the lobby with my friends again and screamed out the window on a beautiful day as we blasted BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY into the courtyard. My dorm had a senior sendoff, complete with a senior gift and confetti, and a walk to Pomp and Circumstance, which was touching, considering we might not get commencement at the end of the year. But having everyone there to celebrate our little community and watch us walk to receive our fake diplomas and take senior pictures meant a lot to me.

Shortly after, I went up to the penthouse to watch the sunset for the last time. I had watched so many sunsets on top of that rooftop, as it was my goto spot when things went wrong. And things had never quite gone so wrong as this time. I looked at Fenway, where I went to my first Red Sox game, and Prudential, where my favorite gelato place is, and over to the right where BU is, where my friends and I run along the Esplanade. Every building, I could pin a memory. I watched the cars run down the bridge, where my friend and I pulled an all-nighter and watched the most beautiful sunrise. I watched the river slowly churn along and thought about how much I would miss seeing this every day. To think that just two weeks ago we had been yelling at each other about taking grapes out of the dining hall, that we were angry at each other for doing A or not doing B or saying C, all these problems were so inconsequential now. When you have just a few days left with the people you love, you remember that being around them and laughing and smiling with them is the most important thing, bottom line. I wrote letters to my friends to thank them for being them and sealed them into envelopes for the next day, and returned downstairs to store my stuff in the storage pod and eat dinner. Afterwards, we lied on our bare mattresses and laughed until 2am. My friend returned from maseeh also late that night, her eyes red from saying goodbye to her senior friends. I said good night and see you tomorrow, for what would be the last time for a while. That last morning, I said goodbye to so many people. It didn't really feel like goodbye, or maybe it hasn't set in yet. I watched my first friend leave in her Uber, and I hung out with my other friend until she left just an hour before me. And then it was my turn to leave, as I said goodbye to all the GRAs and my area director, promising I'd be back. And I took that one last walk out the front door. Halfway down the driveway, I took one last look back at the building I called home for four years, a place that had changed so much since I entered it four years ago, but has also changed me so much too. I thought about where I met my friends for the first time, the midnight piano in the GLR, the many nights spent talking until late night in 4 and 5 west. But the car was waiting, so I turned back to my ride to the airport, and I gave my friend one last hug and watched her wave as I drove away, down Memorial Drive, one last time.

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evilrubberducke · 6 years ago

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Fanfic Request: IzuMina; Mina running on a treadmill while connected to a heart monitor as part of a stress test, the stress proving too much for Mina's heart, resulting in a massive heart attack and Izuku must revive her. Feel free to tweak this to your liking.

Thanks so much for the request. This ended up being so fun to write, I went a little bit longer than I intended. I hope you enjoy nonetheless, and have an excellent day!

Disclaimer: I have 0 medical knowledge, so any medical escapades should be taken with a massive grain of salt, and not attempted at home.

Summary: Preparation for midterms has left the entirety of Class 1A stressed out, but for one particular couple the stress is just the beginning.

Trigger warning: Heart attack

Also on AO3!

Izuku thought to himself for the thousandth time. He slammed his palm into the wall in frustration, cracking the plaster. After more than two years of intense training, even his unaugmented blows were a force to be reckoned with.

He sat outside Recovery Girl’s office on a small and surprisingly comfortable bench. He didn’t feel it though. His mind was stuck firmly on the girl lying in the office right now, wishing desperately that he could do something to help her

The signs had been there for days now, but he hadn’t heeded them. He’s let himself be brushed off, be distracted, be fooled. And now she was paying the price.

It was exam season at UA, and Mina had been both nervous beyond belief, and dedicated to the extreme. Coming into the midterms of their second year had left them all with a lot to prove, but Mina had even more reason to fight. She had been one of the few to fail the exams the first year, both written and physical. She’d come a very long way since that point, and the girl who now attended UA would have been difficult to recognize when compared to her past self.

She had thrown herself into training with great gusto, putting in extra time after classes wrapped up for the day working on both her physical strength and sparring. The class had gained a healthy respect for the pink girl’s talent and reflexes when it came to hand to hand. She wasn’t winning every fight, but she was winning a majority, and in their class that was worthy of great respect.

Done with the physical part of the day, she would bury her nose in a textbook while she ate. She somehow managed to make conversation while doing this, but it was half hearted at best. Her usual bubbly presence had dimmed, and it brought the mood of the entire class.

For Izuku, it was particularly difficult.

The pair hadn’t been on a date in two weeks, which was unusual for them. Mina loved coming up with ideas for them to spend time together, even if it was just a brief jaunt to a shop she had heard of near campus that had just opened.

She still cuddled with him in the evenings, like usual, but even that had taken on a different air. She did her best to steer the conversations, trying to get him to talk about the hero battles he had watched religiously growing up. At first he had been relieved, thinking this was a new method of stress relief she was trying. Eventually he realized that this was just another study method for her.

A part of him had wanted to say something, but every time he tried to, he stopped short. Her training was beyond intense, yes, but was he really one to talk. His own training for UA had been very draconian. So instead of saying something, he tried to be there for her as best he could, slipping in jokes and funny stories as they talked into the evenings while he ran his fingers through her hair.

It was two days before the exams were set to start, and Mina was looking run down. Her skin had lost a lot of its usual luster, and her eyes were half open at the best of times. The entire class had noticed, and had tried to bring it up gently to her.

She brushed it off, making a crack about Izuku keeping her up too late the night before, wiggling her eyebrows all the while.

Most took the joke as a good sign. It was a return to form for their friend, if only slightly. Besides, there was only two more days till exams. After that, everything would be fine.

Izuku was even more worried though. He’d had to practically throw her out of his room the night before, trying to get her to go to bed. She had promised him she would go right to sleep. She didn’t know that he’d followed her up later, and had seen the light coming from under her doorway as she studied. She didn’t know he’d heard her muttering, telling herself that she needed to push harder to keep her place, to stand on the same stage as her classmates. To fight on the level of the boy she loved.

He hadn’t known what to say. He didn’t have the words to reassure her, because he knew those questions all too well. Knew how they ate at you in the dark hours. Knew how they pushed you to fight, for fear of what answering them meant.

So he had turned, and left. And later, he would regret that decision immensely.

“Mind if I join you?” Mina asked, breaking Izuku out of his funk.

He’d been taking a rare opportunity between classes to put in some extra training time of his own before exams. He was confident when it came to academics, and had a few tricks up his sleeve for the practical portion, but a little extra strength training never hurt.

He slowed the treadmill down to a much more sustainable pace, and nodded at her. He was panting to hard at the moment for any real conversation to take place.

Mina fired up her own treadmill, quickly matching his pace. The couple had trained together quite a bit during their time at UA, so matching each other had become almost second nature.

They ran in silence for a few minutes, the only sound being their panting breaths.

Finally, Izuku could take it no longer. “Mina, can we talk for a moment?”

“Sure” She said, panting heavily. Her eyes were trained forward, but Izuku could see she wasn’t really focused on her movements. She seemed to be drifting.

“I….I’m worried about you. I get that you want to do well on the exam, but it feels like you’re pushing yourself way too hard.”

“I’m fine” she said, raising the speed on the treadmill a few notches. It takes her from a steady jog to the barest edge of a sprint.

“Mina, I haven’t seen you take a break in days. The exam is tomorrow. You need rest.” He’d said it as gently as he could, but it only seemed to make things worse.

“I don't… have time… for a break.” Mina panted. She’s running too fast, form starting to break down. Even still, she kept increasing the pace, not caring about her running form any more.

“Mina, you’re going to do fine tomorrow. You’re going to blow the test out of the water. But only if you rest.” A quick button press brought the treadmill he was using to a halt.

He turned to face Mina, taking in her loping strides that are just barely keeping pace with the treadmill. He takes in the arm held tight to her chest to fight against the pain she’s feeling. Her normally vibrant skin has faded and dulled, making her look more haggard than he’s ever seen.

He takes a moment to glance around the gym, thankful that they’re alone for once. He turns back to his girlfriend, and pulls out his last trump card.

“Frosting, can you stop for me?” It’s a private nickname, one the rest of the class will never hear uttered by either of them. It’s a name he only uses when he’s holding her close, said in whispers only she can hear. It’s a name that shows how much he cares for her.

It takes a moment, but she stops. The whir of the treadmill fades away, as do the thud of her footsteps, leaving only her gasping breaths.

It was then that Izuku realized something was very wrong. They had fought together and against each other many times over the last year and half. He knew what she looked like exhausted, and this was something very different.

“I-Izu I…..I don’t…. Something’s…..” She didn’t get a chance to finish her sentence before she dropped like a stone.

Izuku lunged forward, barly catching her shoulder and keeping her head from smacking into the ground. Her horns scraped against his shoulder, but he paid it no mind. His thoughts were on something much more important.

“Mina! Talk to me! Mina!”

She isn’t moving, head lolled back, eyes unfocused and unreactive.

“Mina!” He shook her as hard as he dared, but she didn’t respond. He placed his fingers on her throat and found only a weak pulse, her breath barely discernible.

His mind kicked into overdrive. He didn’t have anything resembling medical training, but he was sure this wasn’t a normal illness, or even exhaustion. This was something serious, and something he didn’t have the capacity to handle.

He scooped her limp form into his arms and called on his Quirk. Red lines of power surged across his limbs, resolving into bolts of green lightning. Strength rushed through him, and he broke into a flat out sprint, not caring about the small cracks he was leaving in the floor. They could be repaired. Mina could not.

His experience with Shoot Style payed dividends as he ran, letting him easily kick open doors as he went without breaking stride. He made a beeline for Recovery Girl’s office, leaping around and over students and other obstacles. He thought he heard some familiar voices calling his name, but couldn’t spare the time to see who it was.

It takes far too long to get to Recovery Girl’s office in Izuku’s opinion. Sure, with how much force he put behind every leap, the entire journey can’t have taken more than a minute, but that’s a minute that Mina might not have been able to spare.

He tried to kick the door open, forgetting that this one was a sliding style entry, rather than a swinging door. It flew off its hinges and crashed into the wall beyond. He mentally added it to the tab of things he was going to catch hell for later.

The office was well light, open, and completely empty. Recovery Girl was nowhere to be seen. Izuku felt his pulse quicken even more than it already had been. He’d been counting on her being there, to help Mina, or to tell him what to do.

A soft gasp from Mina drew his attention to her once more. Her eyes had rolled back in her head. Izuku checker her pulse, and his stomach dropped. He couldn’t feel anything.

He spun around, searching the office desperately for something to help, but found nothing. The instruments were all entirely foreign to him, and he couldn’t even begin to guess at their function.

“Midoriya?” Came a voice from behind him.

He turned, and saw Uraraka, Jirou, and Kaminari standing in the doorway, worried looks on their faces.

HIs eyes snapped to Kaminari, and in that moment he concieved a desperate plan. He lunged forward, grabbing Kaminari’s arm and dragged the boy into the office with him. He set Mina on the bed as quickly as he could without hurting her, then turned to his blond classmate.

“Mina’s heart stopped. I need you to shock her, right now.” His voice has an edge to it, that pierces through the panic. It lends an air to his words, that lets those who hear them know that what he’s saying isn’t a request, but an order. In the moment, none of them can quite place where they’ve heard such a tone before.

It’s only later that they will remember hearing it from their teachers in the many times that they’ve been in peril, or from pro heroes in dire straights.

It’s the tone of a Hero who’s saving someone’s life.

Kaminari blanches. He may be hearing the words, but the meaning behind them paralyzes him. He’s never attempted anything like this, isn’t even sure he can do it.

“Midoriya I-I can’t. I don’t know how to.”

A dozen scenarios run through Izuku’s head. He might be able to convince Kaminari to try, might be able to talk the blonde through his panic, but it will take much too long, and Mina can’t afford to wait that long. Instead, Izuku opts for the strategy that will get her the most help quickly.

It’s a quick calculation, weighing the damage it will do to his relationships and friends against the possibility of Mina suffering for even a second longer than necessary. The risk to his own body doesn’t even enter into the calculation.

Izuku keeps a file on every Quirk user he encounters, cataloging any strengths and weaknesses he observes, and remembering them in case he encounters a similar Quirk in the future. In doing this, he’s amassed quite a lot of observations about his classmate’s Quirks. He knows that Dark Shadow wilts in the light, that Tsuyu shuts down in the cold, and that Jirou is vulnerable to loud noises. Most importantly, he knows that Kaminari activates his Quirk instinctively when he takes damage unexpectedly.

Izuku placed his left hand on Mina’s heart, and grabbed Kaminari’s hand in his right. He activated One for All once more, counting on it to help him absorb most of the voltage that was about to come. He sent a silent prayer that his resistance would be just enough to limit the damage, but not enough to block the electricity from reaching Mina entirely.

Then he broke Kaminari’s finger in one swift motion.

The effect is immediate. Electricity coursed through all three of them, and Izuku grit his teeth through the pain. It tore at his senses even as it coursed through his body, but he was more than passingly familiar with pain. After you’ve torn your body to pieces willingly to land a single punch, you learn how to deal with pain.

After a long second, he put as much willpower as he could muster into opening his hand and releasing Kaminari. The blond stumbled back, face devolving into a idiotic grin as the electricity began to fade.

Izuku only had eyes for Mina though. A long moment passed where nothing happened. Then Mina convulsed, and gasped. Objectively, it was a horrible, rattling gasp that should have sent shivers down Izuku’s spine, but in the moment it was the sweetest sound he could have heard.

The combination of relief and electrical shock finally overwhelm him, and he fell backwards, slamming painfully into the floor below, not even making a move to catch himself.

Uraraka rushed forward to help her friend, and Jirou did the same for Kaminari. The rapid fire events had left them reeling, and they were only just now catching up.

“What happened in here?” Recovery girl asked as she stepped through the destroyed entryway. She looked more than a little upset to see her carefully tidied office in shambles. When she caught sight of Izuku, she sighed deeply. “I should have known. I step out for five minutes and you’re creating chaos. What’s happened this time? Have you managed to break even more of your bones?”

Izuku shook his head weakly. “Mina” He pointed to the gurney next to him. “She stopped breathing. Used Kaminari to shock her.”

Recovery Girl’s eyes went wide, and she moved over to Mina’s side. She quickly examined the girl, checking her heartbeat, breathing, and pupils. When she was done, Izuku had managed to shake off most of the lingering effects of the shock.

“I hate to say it, but I think in this situation, you made the right call.” Recovery girl said, settling into her chair. “It seems Young Ashido suffered a heart attack, likely due to severe stress. She seems to be suffering from malnutrition and dehydration as well.” She shook her head sadly.

She kicked them out immediately following her exam, pausing only to heal the damage Izuku and Kaminari had taken, telling them to go to class, and not to worry. Thanks to her healing, all Mina needed was a bit of rest before she felt a lot better.

Izuku couldn’t just go back, not when Mina was right there. If she needed him, he wanted to be there. He parked himself on a convenient bench across from the office, not responding to any of his friend’s questions or attempts to speak to him. He simply sat and stared at the door.

Izuku could afford to skip class, but the rest weren’t quite so lucky. They reluctantly left their friend sitting there, promising to return when class was done, and to let everyone know that he and Mina were ok. Izuku nodded slightly at that, which they took to be a good sign.

When Recovery Girl emerges from her office, she doesn’t look surprised at all to see him sitting there. She looks resigned instead.

“She’s waking up now. It will do her good to have a friendly face when she does.”

Izuku practically bolts out of his seat to enter. Mina is still lying on the cot where he placed her before, though Recovery Girl apparently took the time to cover her with a thin blanket.

He could see her eyelids fluttering as he stepped closer. He reached out and gently took her hand. A moment later, she squeezed it lightly.

“Izu?” Her voice was faint, and more than a little confused. “What happened?”

“We were working out, and you collapsed. I brought you to Recovery Girl. You…” He paused, not quite sure how to break it to her. “Mina you had a heart attack.”

She shocked Izuku by laughing weakly. “Guess I really screwed up, huh?”

“Quite” Recovery Girl said from her desk. The elderly hero was filling out paperwork, probably relating to Mina’s condition. “You’re not the first student to exhaust themself before exams, but yours is one of the more extreme cases. I’ve healed the damage from the attack, as well as your sweethearts impromptu treatment, but you still need rest. I can only heal the effects of illness, not the cause.”

She ripped the lower half of the paper shed been writing on off and handed it to Izuku, then faced Mina. “Three days of rest with NO TRAINING. Study if you must, but keep it to an absolute minimum. I’ll speak to Aizawa about getting you an exam extension. Keep in mind that this is a one time deal, and only because this is the first time I’ve seen you in my office all year, unlike someone I know.” She aimed a pointed glare at Izuku who even now was her most frequent visitor by a country mile.

A pager on her hip heroes loudly, and she snatched it up with a sigh. “And yet another poor soul needs healing. Please excuse me, but stay until you feel completely better. And remember, no training!” With that, she strode out of the door, which had been clumsily reattached, closing it behind her.

“Well, there goes my ‘least time in the nurse’s office’ record.” Mina said ruefully.

Izuku didn’t respond, and she turned her head to look at him. He still held tight to get hand, but there was a very distant look in his eyes.

“I’m kinda disappointed actually. I liked holding that over Kirishima’s head.”

Izuku nodded slightly at that, and Mina got the distinct impression that he wasn’t listening to a word she was saying.

“I guess now would be a bad time to tell you that I’m pregnant, huh?”

This time he didn’t even nod, just continued to stare into space. Mina rolled her eyes, and flicked her boyfriend in the forehead. It was unusual to see him spaced out without a stream of muttered observations streaming out of him.

“You know, it’s considered polite to listen when people are talking to you.” She teased. She was feeling stronger now, almost back to normal. Or at least as normal as she had felt in the last few weeks, which meant gritty, run down, and struggling to keep her eyes from folding closed.

He blinked, coming back to his body. He looked at her for a moment, and then his face crumpled. All of the emotions that he had been holding inside came flooding out, and his eyes overflowed with tears. It wasn’t the first time Mina had seen him cry, but the fat droplets surprised her every time.

“M-Mina I was…I was so worried!” He sobbed, planting his face into her shoulder.

She reached her arms around his shaking shoulders and pulled him close. She felt a prickle at the back of her own eyes. The collapse had been traumatizing for her as well, and when combined with all the stress she’d been under, it was a heavy burden to bear. She’d been unconsciously dealing with it in the same way she had been during the last week, pushing the feelings down and hiding under a layer of humor.

Now, given a chance to release, she cried too, tears coming close to matching Izuku’s. In short order, they each had a large wet patch on their shirts from the other’s tears. They didn’t speak, merely held each other close as they let all their feelings out in one long burst.

Eventually, they both ran short of tears. They pulled back slightly, but neither was willing to let go completely. They linked their arms, and leaned against each other, taking comfort from the other’s warmth.

“I’m sorry” Izuku said softly.

“Don’t be.” Mina replied. “It was….I needed a good cry. It helped.”

Izuku nodded, understanding exactly what she felt. He felt exhausted, but relieved, like a weight he hadn’t known he’d been carrying had finally been lifted.

“It was hard. Seeing you like that. I didn’t know what to do, or how to help you. I was scared.”

She squeezed his hand in a comforting gesture, but she could feel a smile tugging at her face. “I’m sorry? Mr. Self Sacrifice found it tough to see someone he cares about hurt? Welcome to my world.”

Izuku smiled as well. He knew he had been tough on Mina in the past, and given her more than one hospital scare.

“I know, now more than ever. I’ll try to be better in the future.”

“Only try?”

“I am what I am.” He said with a shrug.

Mina laughed at that, a full body stomach laugh this time. Izuku joined in a moment later. It was difficult having a reputation as class problem child, but Izuku had come to embrace the role.

“I love you Sparks” Mina said softly.

He pulled her close, and planted a kiss on her forehead. “Love you too Frosting.” She flushed a little. A part of her always loved hearing her call her that. He said it in a way that made her feel like the most special person in the world.

As much as she wanted to stay like that forever, Mina knew they should get going. She may have a mandate to avoid studying, but Izuku doesn’t. She groaned as she stood, flexing her back to work out a few of the kinks that had developed while she slept. Izuku stood as well, watching her carefully for signs of relapsing.

“Let’s head back to the dorms.” Mina said. “Everyone’s in class right now, so we’ll have the dorms to ourselves for a while.”

Izuku raised an eyebrow at that. “There’s still Modern Heroics left today. I probably shouldn’t skip more class this close to exams.”

Mina let a mischievous grin cross her face. “You sure about that? You know how easily I get bored when I don’t have someone to talk to. I might even decide to do a bit of training to relieve my boredom…”

“Don’t you dare!” He said in mock outrage. He knew she was sensible enough not to try anything, but still felt it prudent to stop that line of joking right here and now.

“You’re gonna have to cuddle me if you want to be extra sure.”

He smiled a wide and honest smile that always lifted Mina’s heart when she saw it. It was bright, and good, and so very beautiful. And it looked perfect on her boyfriend’s face.

“Now that, I can definitely do.”

The couple walked arm in arm, ready to enjoy some much needed R&R, perfectly content to be in the arms of their lover once more.

#mha #my hero academia #mha fanfiction #izumina #midoriya izuku #mina ashido #fanfic request #heart attack #fluff and angst #bnha

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sage-thrasher · 6 years ago

Text

Extra: “Sanitize” and Sen’s Story

This is a side story for Sanitize, and it takes place after Chapter 8. It contains spoilers, and it won’t make any sense unless you’re caught up. This is more of a... what if? It has no link to the story canon. Is this actually what happened? That’s up to you. But I wanted to write it, so I did. With no further ado, here’s Decay.

Sebastian didn’t like his name. It felt like a shirt that didn’t fit, pinching under the arms, tight in the wrong places and loose in the others. He was six when he told his parents that he wanted to be called only by his nickname—Seb. It still wasn’t right. There was a sound that didn’t fit. But it was closer, much closer, and easy to ignore.

His parents indulged him. They usually did. He was a surprise baby born to an older couple who’d long given up on their dreams for children. (Seb didn’t know why being an only child made him so sad. He felt like there was a hole in his family; he always expected soft smiles and chattering and sharing things he’d never have to share.)

Seb knew he was lucky. His parents were upper-middle class, one a lawyer and the other an engineer. They loved, if not spoiled him, providing everything he’d ever needed or wanted. So why did he hate wasting food and throwing things away? Why was he so frugal, storing his allowance like it could be taken away any minute? (Why did he have these dreams?)

In school, he knew things that other kids didn’t. Seb had to learn the alphabet with the other kids, he had to read the history textbooks and study, but things came easier for him. Part of it was his parents, both who spent hours helping him learn, but some of it, he couldn’t explain. When he saw a dandelion, he didn’t want to make a wish. He didn’t admire the flower. Seb instead thought inflammation and liver problems.

Still, he was happy. Seb liked people, he liked talking to them and making friends, he liked basketball and video games and bad science fiction, and he liked to learn. He went through elementary and middle school as a gifted, social child, one who almost everybody liked.

(Sometimes, he’d pick up a printed book and marvel at how flawless it was. Sometimes, he’d look at a car or a computer and part of him would dismiss it like a normal teenager, and other times he’d stare, thinking it was magic.)

When Seb started 9th grade in a decent private school, one of the requirements was taking a foreign language. For some reason he couldn’t explain, he chose Japanese. Any of the other options—Spanish, French, Chinese, Latin—would be more practical. But something tugged at him to do it, so he did. His intuition was rarely wrong.

When Seb sat down in his first class and somehow knew the letters and words for a language he’d never heard before, he began to remember. Nothing concrete, nothing that made sense, but he remembered.

The next day, he started a garden.

The day after that, he decided to become a doctor.

Seb worked hard, in school and in his garden. He threw himself into academics with the same stubbornness he used to pull up weeds or argue with his friends. Seb was still a regular teen. He flirted with girls, went to homecoming and parties and football games. But everyone, his parents and teachers and friends, knew something was different.

He had a sense of focus, a sense of grounding and understanding that made no sense for a rich teenager to have. (Why would someone like Seb know how to splint a broken leg with a stick and a shirt without first aid training? How could he speak Japanese so well? Why did his eyes become unfocused because of the strangest things?)

In college, he majored in plant science and took all the classes he needed for medical school. When he took medicinal botany, he fell in love again, and he knew he was doing the right thing. When Seb volunteered in hospitals, shadowing and writing notes, some procedures rung a faint bell. His favorite place to observe was the ER, a place where that feeling of half-remembrance was the strongest.

He applied in his junior year and was quickly accepted into multiple programs. He picked the one with a focus on emergency medicine. Med school was one of the hardest things he’d ever done. (One of, because the dreams of holding a dying child and being unable to save her still made him wake up in cold sweats.) His fellow students joked and marveled about his steady hand in the practicals, telling him that he should become a surgeon. His professors had said so too, but Seb knew his calling.

As soon as he was able, after graduation and exams and residency, Seb joined a nonprofit and left straight to rural health clinic in the middle of nowhere.

It felt like home.

He had two colleagues: Reid, a dark-skinned Briton with Jamaican heritage, and Akari, a sharp-tongued Japanese woman. They helped him man the desk, deliver babies, conduct surgeries, drive ambulances, and everything else. The three of them had to do everything, and Seb had never felt happier or more fulfilled. Sure, the internet was spotty, he got homesick for his family, and he always had a real craving for french fries, but this was what he’d always wanted to do. It never disappointed.

The first time Seb spoke to Akari in Japanese, it had been an accident. She’d mumbled and cursed to herself after their failing ultrasound machine broke again. “Stupid piece of trash. Why do we even bother fixing it?”

“Ye, ‘tis more suited for waste heap, yet mayhap it be better than none,” he’d replied without thinking.

Startled, Akari had stared at him for several seconds, expression changing to mortification as she tried to remember all the other times she’d spoken Japanese in front of him. Her first question was then “You speak Japanese? Since when?” which was followed quickly by “You speak Japanese like that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your Japanese sounds... old, like a thing from a period drama. As if you were a peasant for a samurai or lord,” she said, laughing. “But it is very good,” she quickly added. “Almost flawless. Did you learn from TV?”

He shrugged and hummed noncommittally, letting her draw her own conclusions. Akari took his agreement at face value, But, after a moment, she said, “Would you like me to teach you? How to speak more normally?”

Seb squashed down the instinctive feeling of ‘I already speak normally!’ and instead smiled. “I’d like that.”

After that, their friendship became something more. Japanese lessons became long conversations. Their brief moments of free time in the clinic were spent entirely with each other. It got to a point that their patients would giggle, asking if they should call a priest or gather flowers. Even their colleague Reid had begun to crack jokes, even complaining that the lovebirds made him homesick for his own boyfriend.

Well. They weren’t wrong. Akari and Seb did end up married, after a hopelessly long and oblivious infatuation from both sides, after fumbling dates and growing love and an even more awkward simultaneous proposal. Reid was his best man, and his speech was long and embarrassing and the funniest thing that Seb had ever heard. Everyone cried at least once, including Seb’s parents, Akari, her parents (though her father tried to hide it during his stilted speech) and Seb himself. It was one of the happiest moments of his life.

(Yet, even at the wedding, he could hear that same voice whispering: You’re twice as old as you were then. You spent twice as long on this world. Why won’t you let go?)

Akari and Seb had decided on two children. Based on the results of a coin toss, the first child would have a Japanese first name and an English middle one, and the second would have the reverse. As they flipped through page after page of baby names, scrolled through page after page, they couldn’t quite find a first name that fit both their tastes. The middle name would be Madison, for no reason besides they liked how it sounded.

It was during another session of name-searching that his wife had asked, “What do you think of Yui?”

It felt like someone had grabbed his heart and squeezed it.

“Seb?”

“Yui?” he managed to say.

“Yes. I like how it flows, don’t you?”

He walked over, heart pounding, and wrapped his arms around Akari. “How is it spelled?”

“In English, it’d look like this,” she highlighted the letters on the screen, “but there are many kanji combinations that could be used for Yui.”

She scrolled down, showing him each one. One in particular caught his eye, with the symbols for only and robe. Something warm and kind and unbelievably sad enveloped him, and he could hear a voice whisper: It will be better.

He shook his head slowly. “How about this spelling?” he said, pointing at the one below it. Ties, it read. The ties that bind one person to another. One world to the next.

“I like it!” Akari grinned at him, and Seb kissed the top of her head.

When their daughter was born, when Seb sat next to his exhausted and adoring wife, when he held the little wrinkled baby who cried defiantly to the world...

“Yui,” he murmured, and he smiled through his tears.

It will be better.

And it was.

#sanitize fanfic #side #oc-insert #naruto fanfiction #extra #sanitize extra

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the-bujo-princess-blog · 6 years ago

Text

How to be a Valedictorian

Let's face it, we all have some goals for ourselves.

For some, it includes entering a college of their choice, or building a great business, or maybe even being the valedictorian for your batch.

In this post, I'll write about my own personal experience and the tips and tricks that I used in order to become the batch valedictorian in high school.

Let me just start off by saying that this post is in no way created for me to brag, but to be helpful and to give out practical advice.

With that, let's get started! :)

#1 Evaluate your motives.

Out of everything, this is probably the most important step.

Evaluate your reasons. You must be able to answer the following questions:

Why am I doing this? Why do I want to achieve that honor? Who am I doing this for? Will this make me happy--even for a short while?

For me, my main reason why I wanted to become the valedictorian for my batch was because I wanted to test myself. I wanted to know whether or not I can achieve something if I put my heart and mind into it. I wanted to be proud of myself.

And also, I wanted to do it for my parents and family as a token of thanks for all their years of support.

You see, once you figure out your own reasons, the whole process would be so much easier for you.

Since you know why you're doing this, you'd have the strength to fight the burnout, the stress, and the millions of obstacles that would come your way.

#2 Realize that it's all about strategy.

The education system is streamlined and can easily be manipulated. Remember this.

Figure out how your system works and play by its rules.

Each school is different. There isn't a specific guide for everyone, so you have to do some bit of digging and find out how they choose the batch valedictorian.

What's the required grade?

What are the extra curricular activities that would weigh heavily in your favor?

What classes should you take?

What's the grading system like?

What's the percentage of extra-curricular activities in your overall grade?

What are the activities that you could participate in order to boost your chances?

This also goes with each of your classes.

What's the teacher like?

How does s/he grade you?

What are the outputs s/he usually gives out?

Is your teacher fond of giving you essays, recitations, or homework?

To add, you can also talk to or even simply observe your immediate upperclassmen, specifically your previous batch valedictorian.

What are their qualities?

What groups were they active members in?

What sort of clubs did they join?

Did they participate in any inter-school competitions?

What subjects did they excel in?

How did they interact with their teachers?

It's not all about getting top marks for everything, so don't rush in and think that you just have to be a study beast in order to get that spot.

Play by the rules.

#3 Allocate an hour to advanced studying everyday.

I wish I applied this sooner.

I only started this trick on my last year of high school, when I was aiming for this goal.

The thing is, if you want to be able to achieve something you'd never achieved before, then you should be prepared to do things that you've never done before.

Form a habit to allocate an hour per day to advance studying and reviewing your lessons for the day.

This seems tedious, but trust me, it's really rewarding to always be prepared for quizzes that might come your way.

Personally, my ideal time is 4 o'clock in the morning until 5 a.m.

And at 5, I reward myself with a little bit of Internet surfing and lazing around before I have to get ready for school.

You can pick out any time that's convenient for you and stick to it religiously.

#4 Hold yourself accountable.

It's easy to lose track of things and just slack off, but you're going to have to hold on until the end of the school year, at least.

When studying, it's better to have something that would make you accountable.

I used the Forest app, which is a simple app that abides by the

Pomodoro

technique wherein you have to concentrate for a certain amount of time, take a break, and get back to work.

What I like about Forest is that they provide an incentive for your hard work!

Be focused for more than 20 minutes and you'll be rewarded by having a full grown tree. Be distracted (answer messages, get off the app) and your tree will wither and die.

Until this day, I still use Forest whenever there's something that needs my undivided attention.

It also provides you with your statistics and tracks your progress for you.

While there are a ton of other productivity apps out there, I recommend using Forest as it is simple to use and it keeps the distractions at bay so you can focus on your end goal!

#5 Tell people about your goal.

You don't have to tell everyone, just a select few who you know will believe in you and help you throughout your year.

It will be lonely and tiring at times, so that's why you need your own support system.

Plus, it's also another way to keep yourself accountable. Since some people already know about it, it would only make sense to keep pushing on.

#6 Be an Active Participant.

Show up for stuff, and actually do your best. If you're a part of the debate team, then go for the championships.

If you're an athlete, then keep on practicing and joining in activities.

The school system rewards well-rounded students, so make sure you aren't only focusing on just your academics.

Do volunteer work and just get yourself out there.

Meet as many people as you can and form great connections.

Remember that life doesn't end in high school and you never know when you'll need certain people around you.

I know, breaking out of your comfort zone is hard. But since you have something that you want to achieve, don't let yourself just be a passive observer because if you don't put yourself out there, if you don't go after the necessary steps, then someone else will.

#7 Don't be competitive.

Never, ever, ever, ever compare yourself with others.

Don't compare grades.

Don't compare accomplishments.

Don't compare milestones.

The moment you allow yourself to look over others' path, you're actually keeping your eyes off your own lane.

There's no such thing as healthy competition. There will always be a part of you that would over think everything.

So, before that happens, just stop yourself.

It doesn't matter if someone gets a higher score than you on a certain quiz. It's okay. Just study harder and work on improving your previous scores.

Remember, the only person that you want to be better than is your old self.

#8 Set your standards higher.

Before my final year of high school, I was content with my grades.

It didn't matter much if I had ten or less than ten mistakes. That was good for me.

But since I wanted to graduate as the valedictorian, I know I had to raise the bar higher.

I limited myself to less than three mistakes per exam, grade, or any other graded output.

Having a perfect score or less than three mistakes is the standard.

You have to set your own standards too, and don't settle for a mediocre grade bracket. Settle for the best because if you don't necessarily accomplish that, then at least your score would still be at the top tier.

#9 Create your own visual board.

This isn't a must, but having an actual, visual reminder of what you want to accomplish would help you out a lot.

It would be a motivation on mornings when you don't feel like studying, or times when you're just so exhausted from everything.

If you're not the visual type, then just write it down or maybe even keep a recording. Either way, have a solid reminder you can look back on every day.

#10 Consult your teachers.

Don't be afraid to ask for advice, for clarification on topics that you can't fully understand.

Remember though, when asking for a subject-related question, you should make them as specific as possible.

You can't just go on saying "I don't know this topic. Can you explain it all to me?"

That only shows laziness and insincerity.

Instead, pinpoint what exactly is it that you do not understand and ask for their input.

People are always more than happy to help those who show enthusiasm and eagerness to learn more.

#11 Focus on your mistakes.

Prior to any major examination, you should go over all of your previous outputs: quizzes, tests, assignments, etc. and find out where you went wrong.

What was your previous assumption? How did you get the right answer for that?

Your mistakes will serve as a guide in prioritizing the topics you need to learn more about.

So when examination period rolls around, you won't have to read everything from start to finish, just the chapters where you commonly made mistakes

Strive to minimize your own margin of error.

#12 Take care of your body.

Eat well. Try to squeeze in some exercise throughout your day.

In order to keep up with your brain's hyperactivity, your body has to be physically fit and healthy.

Back then, my main form of exercise was walking all the way to school when the weather permits.

You could do some yoga, pilates, go for a run, or do whatever it is that you like doing. Just don't force yourself into completing an exercise that you don't like.

Exercising helps with your brain's functions and would actually aid you in your studies!

Also, eat nutritious foods such as vegetables and fruits. I highly recommend eating fish since it's proven to benefit your memory.

#13 Be humble despite your accomplishments.

Don't let anything get into your head. Keep your head down and don't think yourself above others.

Humility is always the key. After all, no one likes being around someone on his high horse.

#14 Pray

Before any examinations, always pray and ask for guidance to whoever it is that you believe in. Ask for a quiet spirit and gentle nerves. Know that you've done all that you could and the rest is up to Him.

So, these are all the top things that I can think of! I hope this post would serve as a guide for you in your journey! :)

#study #studytips #valedictorian #my posts #tips and tricks #studyblr #studyspo #forest #productivity #forest app #motivation #bujoprincess

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