#folks we've cracked the case

[cloacacarnage]

[seat-safety-switch]

In Canada, I was raised from birth to be a warrior. My ancestors clashed in battle after battle, drawing blood to retrieve the best deals on home electronics and occasionally near-expiry panettone. Like my grandfather said on the first day he put a charge card in my hand, I was born to win at Boxing Day.

Perhaps you live in a country that does not have Boxing Day, or maybe you call it something else. If this is the case, I would like you to imagine going to the stores and finding a good discount. Traditionally, before the Americans came with their blackened Fridays and good-deal Aprils, going into combat on this day is how we would be able to afford a six-CD changer.

It was always the same sequence. Get up at the crack of dawn with the surviving family members. Drive to the asshole end of the city, after determining which of the stores are likely to have the least attendance and competition for the deal you want. Wait in line in the December morn for more than an hour, eyeing anyone who tries to cut in line. The doors open. There is blood. So much blood. And then, maybe if you were pure of heart and fleet of foot, a deal.

Things have changed now. The internet came from the heavens. The clouds above us sing of algorithmically determined deals that are determined computationally to be the exact discount that will trigger us to buy. 19% off? We scoff. 18.35% off with a free cookie? Some part of our protosimian neurological architecture jams its foot on the gas pedal and won't let go until we've destroyed one entire Bank of Montreal Platinum Reserve® Optimax® MasterCard® in exchange for something we don't need that might arrive at our home late next week by a hungover Purolator employee. There is no honour in this.

Which is why we're going to try out a new thing this year. The mall near us has been empty for decades, except for a short period of time where the CBC filmed a docudrama set in the 1990s there. What we're gonna do is set a bunch of Amazon gift cards down on the floor and let some folks my age kick the absolute shit out of each other in exchange for a chance to buy them for greater than the listed face value. It's gonna be just like the old days. I hope to see you there.

[cucumberteapot]

It's so interesting how all the Spider-folks share a duality identity. When Gwen presents as a civilian, she's distant and rude to people because she's traumatised by Peter Parker's death. But when she's Spider-woman, she's cracking quips and jokes and making fun of her dad and Miguel.

Then there's Hobie who literally crashes onto the scene with a rockstar guitar and starts play-fighting with Pavitr. As Spider-Punk he has a more outward persona, but when he's in Spider society he's more reclusive and observant, keeping to the sidelines until he's needed. It's also possibly that, like Gwen, Hobie's more reserved personality stems from not being able to save a police officer or something along those lines. However that situation went down, it's clearly left a mark of him that he doesn't want people to see. I think this is why his recap is so idealistic (if that's the right word) because he's holding off information about his personal life he doesn't want people to know about.

When we first see Miles again, his fight with the Spot is presented as just another day of the week. He's familiar with the locals, knows them by name and acts as a kind of community service. But when we see him in his personal life, he's become so withdrawn from his family to the point they're actually concerned for his well-being. I'm honestly curious to know how audiences would react to Miles if we didn't know he was Spider-man. If we only saw Miles from his parents' perspective.

And then we've got Pavitr, who had only been Spider-man for six months when he was recruited by Miguel and doesn't seem to share a dual personality like his other Spider-people. Fortunately, Pav is a unique case of a Spider-person who can balance their personal and secret lives and thanks to Miles, did not experience the trauma of losing Inspector Singh. This is why I feel like, unlike seeing more of Hobie or Gwen's worlds, we see Pavitr's dimension because Pav and saving his dimension is pivotal to the core theme of ATSV: Spider-man does not need trauma to become Spider-man or that changing canon will destroy a dimension.

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; The Tortured Poets Department by Taylor Swift (Part II)

GUILTY AS SIN?

I hadn't heard it in a while.

My boredom's bone deep.

This cage was once just fine.

Am I allowed to cry?

I dream of cracking locks.

Crashing into him tonight, he's a paradox.

I'm seeing visions.

Am I bad, or mad, or wise?

What if he's written "Mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?

Oh, what a way to die.

I keep recalling things we never did.

Without ever touching his skin, how can I be guilty as sin?

There's no such thing as bad thoughts, only your actions talk.

We've already done it in my head.

Why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?

What if I roll the stone away?

They're gonna crucify me anyway

What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?

They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly.

I choose you and me, religiously.

WHO'S AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME?

You don’t get to tell me about sad.

If you wanted me dead you should’ve just said.

Nothing makes me feel more alive.

Who’s afraid of little old me?

You don’t get to tell me you feel bad.

Is it a wonder I broke?

Let’s hear one morе joke.

Then we could all just laugh until I cry.

I was tame, I was gentle till the circus life made me mean.

Don’t you worry folks, we took out all her teeth.

So tell me everything is not about me, but what if it is?

Say they didn’t do it to hurt me, but what if they did?

I wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me.

You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.

All you kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs.

I’m always drunk on my own tears, isn’t that what they all said?

I’ll sue you if you step on my lawn.

I’m fearsome, and I’m wretched and I’m wrong.

Put narcotics into all of my songs and that’s why you’re still singing along.

You lured me and you hurt me and you taught me.

You caged me and then you called me crazy.

I am what I am 'cause you trained me.

I CAN FIX HIM (NO REALLY I CAN)

The smoke cloud billows out his mouth like a freight train through a small town.

The jokes that he told across the bar were revolting and far too loud.

God, help her.

I told them he's my man

I can fix him, no, really, I can.

The dopamine races through his brain on a six-lane Texas highway.

His hands so calloused from his pistol softly traces hearts on my face.

I could see it from a mile away.

A perfect case for my certain skill set.

He had a halo of the highest gradе.

He just hadn't met me yеt.

Good boy, that's right.

Come close.

I'll show you Heaven if you'll be an angel, all mine.

Trust me, I can handle me a dangerous man.

LOML

Who's gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames?

We were just kids, babe.

I don't mind, it takes time.

I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed.

I felt a glow like this, never before and never since.

If you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary.

You said I'm the love of your life.

You took me to hell too.

A con man sells a fool a "get love quick" scheme.

I felt a hole like this, never before and ever since.

What we thought was for all time was momentary.

Mr. Steal-Your-Girl, then make her cry.

You shit-talked me under the table.

I wish I could unrecall how we almost had it all.

It was legendary.

It was momentary.

It was unnecessary.

Should've let it stay buried.

What a valiant roar.

What a bland goodbye.

The coward claimed he was a lion.

I'm combing through the braids of lies.

Our field of dreams engulfed in fire.

I'll still see until I die.

You're the loss of my life.

I CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART

I can read your mind.

She's having the time of her life.

I can show you lies.

I'm a real tough kid.

I can handle my shit.

They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it till you make it" And I did.

Lights, camera, bitch, smile.

He said he'd love me all his life.

All the piеces of me shatterеd as the crowd was chanting "More".

I was grinnin' like I'm winnin'.

I can do it with a broken heart.

I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day.

I'm so obsessed with him, but he avoids me like the plague.

I cry a lot, but I am so productive, it's an art.

You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart.

I can hold my breath.

I've been doing it since he left.

I keep finding his things in drawers.

I didn't imagine the whole thing.

'Cause I'm miserable and nobody even knows.

THE SMALLEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED

Was any of it true?

Who the fuck was that guy?.

Now you know what it feels like

I don't even want you back.

I don't miss what we had.

Could someone give a message to the smallest man who ever lived?

You didn't measure up in any measurе of a man

Were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?

Did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?

Were you writing a book?

Were you a sleeper cell spy?

In fifty years will all this be declassified?

You'll confess why you did it and I'll say, "Good riddance".

It wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden.

I would've died for your sins, instead I just died inside.

You deserve prison, but you won't get time.

You said normal girls were "boring", but you were gone by the morning.

You kicked out the stage lights, but you're still performing.

You are what you did.

I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive.

THE ALCHEMY

This happens once every few lifetimes.

These chemicals hit me like white wine.

What if I told you I'm back?

The hospital was a drag.

Worst sleep that I ever had.

I circled you on a map.

I haven't come around in so long.

I'm coming back so strong.

Ditch the clowns, get the crown.

Baby, I'm the one to be.

The sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me.

Honestly, who are we to fight thе alchemy?.

Hey, you, what if I told you we'rе cool?

That child's play back in school is forgiven under my rule.

I'm making a comeback to where I belong

We've been on a winning streak.

There was no chance trying to be the greatest in the league.

He just comes, running over to me.

CLARA BOW

All your life, did you know, you'd be picked like a rose?

I'm not trying to exaggerate, but I think I might die if it happened to me.

No one in my small town thought I'd see the lights of Manhattan.

This town is fake but you're the real thing.

Take the glory, give everything.

Promise to be dazzling.

The crowd goes wild at her fingertips.

No one in my small town thought I'd meet these suits in LA.

You're the real queen.

You're the new god we're worshipping.

Beauty is a beast that roars down on all fours demanding more.

Only when your girlish glow flickers just so.

It's hell on earth to be heavenly.

Them's the brakes, they don't come gently.

You've got edge, she never did.

The future's bright, dazzling.

[tartrazeen]

I feel like some folks don't understand what'll happen if Tumblr runs out of money.

I think that's why so many are doing the whole "we have to donate right now or else they can't make the changes we've been asking for" thing.

As a business major...

... allow me to enlighten you on exactly what'll happen if Tumblr fails to generate "enough" revenue.

Here it is!

They sell the site.

That's it.

You may remember this as being "the thing that happened the last time." Which last time, since there have been many? Exactly. Pick any of those blips in the rear-view mirror.

The site doesn't disappear or get deleted. Per capitalism, it fundamentally can't be. Automatic put money into this site, and they will not be leaving without getting money out of it one way or another: by monetizing us through Tumblr Live and tracking and no icons and letting terfs and racists roam free, or by trying to recover their loss if that never works at a turning a profit and they give up 'cause we're too high-maintenance.

This is normal Business. We're fine. Staff is pushing this so hard because they aren't fine, but if they go (i.e. "run out of money"), we get a new stepdaddy.

⁽⁠⁽⁠◝⁠(⁠ ⁠•⁠௰⁠•⁠ ⁠)⁠◜⁠⁾⁠⁾

And they will sell us long before we ever get to a 'boo-hoo delete the site' point because we live in a society under capitalism. You don't delete money. You sell it off to the next greedy corp. as a last resort so you get anything back on your failed investment.

Here - have some more details about that if you want:

Along with selling the site, someone else buys the site. This is the more important and yet even funnier/easier/more empowering-to-users half of the equation.

When someone sells something, it's to recoup a loss or realize a gain on their side - but either way, it's because there's something that's still valuable within the asset. Part of the sales pitch to new buyers is to therefore say, "Hey, look how profitable this website could be if you were able to tap into it the right way! Uh, why couldn't we do that? Uhhhhhhhhhhh."

The answer to that question relies heavily on why the site's being sold. If it's - as it's currently heading - along the lines of "Users are so delighted to give us money that they'll basically buy whatever you throw at them, but we're not in the business of doing infinite growth, so we're selling this to someone else who can manage that part and we'll start again with a different website." That's the best-case scenario for sellers and buyers. It's their win/win. It's them saying "I would keep making money but I don't have the infrastructure to get it all, so we're selling it to someone who can."

The answer that Yahoo got when they first bought it was some hilarious bullshit like, "Oh, uh, yeah, they're gonna be the .pdf of the future. Don't wanna miss that." Which is hilarious because it was more or less tricking Yahoo into buying a bucket of goblins. That was a win/lose on Yahoo's side, 'cause they fell for it and the old sellers got to escape with their losses cut and some money in their pocket. Same for when Verizon got it, although Yahoo was probably more honest in saying, "We didn't know this site had bees in it." Enough of a win for Yahoo to sell it, a lose on Verizon's side because they didn't know wtf to do with those bees either.

Automatic came in like, "Omg. Bees in a website. With money. We can monetize this. We can get rid of the bees. We'll take that off your hands for you, Verizon!"

And Verizon was like, "oh thank god, give us any cash you can spare"

And Automatic paid that assuming they would figure out how to finally crack through Tumblr's lack of profitability to get our sweet sweet money honey. They're forcing through Tumblr Live, for example, because if it works, they'll eventually find the optimal equation between "lose the unprofitable users" and "make maximum money." It's the same reason EA is in the business of microtransactions and doesn't give a damn about people complain until enough people reject it to actually hurt their bottom line.

If Automatic fails to do that?

They're just another Yahoo and Verizon. They sell it to the next sucker they can trick into thinking the site's a money-maker "in the right hands lmaooooo". They give up, essentially, but there's more money to be had in passing it on while the site still actively has users than it is to destroy the site entirely - because then you can't sell it for as much.

So feel free to dig in your heels and resist every single change! Send all your feedback! One-star the app! Delight in staff saying, "You're just making it harder for us!"

Yeah, good! Making staff's life harder is actually the goal. The harder we are to monetize in XYZ way, the more they have to decide if it's worth a new approach or cutting their losses. The less money they get, the more they have to either revert back to less profitable but tolerated options, or the closer they get to selling the site that's been publicly documented to hate XYZ tactics.

The worse reception these changes get, the closer the users get to an outright revolt, the more other companies go, "Eeee. You can't trick us into thinking they can be monetized." And that pushes Automatic towards one of two options:

Unload their "bad asset" onto someone else ASAP, with as positive of a spin on Tumblr's profitability as they can create

Keep the asset but accept that XYZ feature or tactic isn't getting them the cash they want, so try something else.

It's that simple. They're difficult for users to corner Automatic, of course, because Automatic bought this site with "The users are gonna try to boycott lol" rainy day funds and a lot of optimism that they could 'break' the userbase. But that's a corporate spirit that erodes once they really aren't making the money they thought they would.

Who knows? With enough documented resistance, the next owners might go in ready to embrace the existing Tumblr culture, especially if they can be convinced of how unique it is. You have nothing to lose with Automatic because they aren't interested in that. Quit panicking, this is all normal, and it's quite literally just a waiting game.

Continue to panic publicly, though! That does help. :) No - seriously, that affects Tumblr's external marketability and monetization potential, which further pushes Automatic into one of those two "sell or submit" options lmaoooo

[fantasy-mixtapes]

Riz Gukgak Junior Year Playlist: side A

Heres the first side of the Junior Year Riz Playlist and the explanations down below, Spoilers for Episodes 1-10 in FHJY

Genres: Alternative, Anti Folk, Math Rock, Punk

1. Photosynthesis, They Might Be Giants

Photosynthesis does not involve a camera Or a synthesizer Although that's interesting, too Photosynthesis is how plants take in light From the sun and turn it into energy It's actually a thing on which most life depends Here on the planet Earth

GOD so when I'm not making these playlists I'm and environmental educator and when Brian was like "we're the photosythe-KIDS!" i nearly lost it. Gotta let this little nerdy kid have at least one nerd song as a treat to me

2. Dissonance, AJJ

My feet planted in different realities I've been doing lots of parallel planning and asking Does morals exist anymore? Wondering if society's all broken down yet I should probably know I should probably know I should probably grow some more plants in the window I should probably try I should probably try I should probably try to find a cure for this dissonance

One of the things I relate to Riz about the most is the way in which he is so hungry for explanation and, specifically problem solving. When they get dropped right back into normal teen life after having just saved the world and "cracked the case", Riz had to really switch into school mode fast (with the whole paying for college thing)

3. Stress, Jim's Big Ego

I'm addicted to stress That's the way that I get things done If I'm not under pressure then I sleep too long And I hang around like a bum I think I'm going nowhere, and that makes me nervous Everybody's out to get me, but I feel all right

Obsessed with the way that, if Brennan didn't let Riz take on the stress of other people in the party, he would literally be so normal about the downtime system. God help him and his nervous system.

4. Travelers Insurance, Their/They're/There

After all that we've done, You still skipped out on the beat of a different drum. Blurring the lines between failure and fortune

it's getting at Riz supporting so many people in his party, taking on their stress, organizing their extracurriculars, and literally tutoring them on subjects he doesn't know about. And they're definitely trying to keep everything under control, but sometimes it feels like when they mess up or make bad choices, it's Riz who has to take the L

5. Pitch Black, Heart Attack Man

Rock bottom smile bares its rotting teeth again Acts like there's nothing wrong and they're still my closest friend Romanticize the fondest memories and good times And hope that I forget the rest Rock bottom's grinning as it's creeping up again Dust off the depths and make me wish that I was dead again Hold out your hand to me Take me to a place in hell where Having self-esteem seems selfish and unhealthy

God the way that in Ep. 10 after Riz had that talk with his mom about everything he was just so despondent the rest of the episode about everything that was happening, and actually thinking about the toll his friendships were taking on him 💀

6. An Antidote for Strychnine, The Mountain Goats

Dig down amongst my calculations Check my maps Up there on the surface Everybody's gettin' ready for the bloodbath Stem the tide, stem the tide They're calling down for reinforcements Tryin' to find An antidote for strychnine Tryin' to find An antidote for strychnine

This has always and forever been such a Riz song for me and I feel like it really fits the tone of Riz looking into the soil, into lucy's death, into eventually the loam farm, reluctantly telling his mom about it. The moment when he thinks that something like what happened to Yolanda could happen to his mother and he gets really serious about it. AHHHHHH Something something isolation, something something taking on dangerous tasks by yourself just to protect the ones you love

[lovingmusicalmen]

May I request a blurb for the prompt “Do you want me to carry you?” with Davey Jacobs x Reader? Or Jack Kelly x Reader, whichever you prefer.

I hope you enjoy!! This is my first time writing for Davey so let me know what you think!

Still accepting blurb requests!

Fluff 17 - "Do you want me to carry you?"

Les was fast asleep, head resting on Y/N's knees as she idly combed through the kid's hair, talking to the other Newsies.

Davey, Jack and Les had finished up selling early that day and so had headed back to the lodging house to kill time, and go over future plans for the union. One by one, as more Newsies had returned from their days exploits, the conversation had gone from work-orientated to just chatting among each other.

Davey seemed more at ease than Y/N had seen him... well, ever, if she was going to be honest. Since she had met him, Davey had been stressed out and nervous about the future of his family, the strike, the union and now his newly acquainted brothers. So it was nice to see him relaxing with the other sellers. Cracking jokes with Crutchie and teasing Race over his latest gambling loss.

Les, however, had not quite kept up. He had come over to Y/N almost the moment she had returned to the lodging house and sat down to join her friends and demanded her attention. The kid was inexplicably fond of her - Y/N suspected it had something to do with her teaching him to tie his laces, and agreeing not to tell the other boys he hadn't known how to do it up until then in case they teased him.

Davey had confided in her that Les' admiration more than likely actually stemmed from the strike itself. She had stuck by his side through the whole ordeal, taking a couple of blows on his behalf when the bulls had arrived and she had been desperate to get him as far away from the fighting as possible.

(Davey had also admitted, rather shyly, with flushed pink cheeks that he, too, had been touched by the attention shown to his younger brother. Grateful to her that she had been looking out for him. Y/N had wondered then if she was naive for wanting to read into his words, to try and convince herself that he returned her affections)

Les had grown sleepy quickly, though. And had passed out across Y/N's lap with the quiet murmurings of the Newsies to keep him company. Davey had met her eyes a couple of times across the room, since seeing his younger brother fast asleep on her lap. And there was an undeniable apology in his expression, which Y/N was quick to dismiss each time with a grin and shake of her head.

She didn't mind it at all.

(And no, that had nothing to do with the warm feeling in the pit of her stomach when she saw Davey looking over towards her and Les with such gentle affection)

The evening had, in short, been close to perfect.

Davey stood from where he had been resting on Crutchie's bed, leaning against the wall as he chatted idly with Race and Albert, and he stretched out his arms. Y/N could have sworn that she heard his back give a crack at the movement.

"I should probably get home - our folks will be worrying about us," Davey offered by way of explanation. There were nods and farewells called to him from around the room and Davey picked his way across the floor to reach Y/N and Les.

He offered her the shy smile she was used to seeing him wear and he reached up to ruffle his hair a little under his cap.

"Figure I should collect your limpet," he said, a teasing edge to his voice. "Sorry about him."

"Don't apologise - he's a sweet kid," Y/N paused before adding: "and you're a real good brother to him, Dave."

A pink hue sprinkled across the apples of Davey's cheeks, but Y/N forced herself to look away from it, gently shaking the kid on her lap.

Les groaned and swatted at her hand.

"Leave me alone," he grumbled. Y/N shared an amused glance with Davey, who crouched down.

"Come on - we've gotta get home, Les."

"I'm comfortable," he complained again, opening his eyes just enough to shoot his brother a glare. Y/N bit her lip to stop herself from laughing.

Davey caught the action though, rolling his eyes at her in exasperation.

"I can't imagine it's all that comfortable for Y/N, though. Come on, get up."

Les opened his eyes again, this time directed up at Y/N in the same puppy-dog expression she knew Jack had been training him in to sell his papers.

"Y/N" he whined. Y/N chuckled and pinched his arm lightly.

"What do you want me to do, kid? Do you want me to carry you home?" She joked. Les looked contemplative though, and then nodded.

"That would work," he agreed.

Y/N burst out laughing, and Davey sighed again, letting his head fall down onto the mattress beside his brother.

"I told mum and dad you were a heathen," he complained. "I said they should've just stuck with me and Sarah."

"This is why I like Y/N," Les huffed, aiming a kick at Davey. "She's nice to me."

"Alright, kid - come on, your parents will be worried," Y/N cut in, laughing quietly. She pushed him off of her lap and stood up. "How does a piggy back ride sound?"

Ten minutes later, the three of them were walking the route back to Davey's family home. Les had fallen back asleep, resting on Y/N's lap, and Davey hadn't stopped spewing apologies for his brother's actions.

"Dave - I mean it, you don't need to apologise," she said with a gentle laugh. "Manhatten's nice to walk through at this time of night, anyway." She shot a teasing look at him from the corner of her eye. "Besides, the company's not all too bad, either."

Davey went bright pink, mouth gaping open slightly as he processed her... rather forward words.

"I mean - I'd never complain at the chance to spend more time with you," he managed to get out, smiling awkwardly at her.

"Such a charmer, Jacobs."

"You started it!"

The two of them lapsed into quiet laughter for a moment. Just as the two of them turned the corner down into Davey's street, he spoke again.

"Well... would I be able to take you out some time? To make up for this?" He gestured at the sleeping kid. "Without my brother, and the other's, I mean. Since we... like spending time together, and all," he added awkwardly.

"You asking me on a date, Jacobs?"

"That.... depends on your answer?" Davey tried weakly and Y/N laughed.

"And if my answer's a yes?" She asked as they came to a stop outside of the Jacobs' front door. Davey stepped forwards to scoop Les into his arms instead.

"Then yeah - definitely a date," Davey confirmed, far more confidently.

Y/N offered a crooked grin and stepped up to press a kiss to his cheek, marvelling in the stunned expression the action left behind.

"Then I'll see you tomorrow, Dave."

(Can confirm, Les was 100% not asleep, just sick of Davey's pining and decided to take matters into his own hands)

[expectiations]

Please yap about baby river.

offers conciliatory basket of sweets, cracks knuckles, tightens seatbelt...

She's really insecure in this era. She looks to her mum and dad for guidance a LOT. Amy and Rory may not have raised baby Melody (at that point) but they sure raised baby River.

She doesn't know how to cook. She knows a hundred and one (thousand) ways to kill any kind of species one can think of. But she can NOT cook to save her life. She *could* learn but she has her dad spoiling her with all his yummy dishes.

I adamantly refuse to believe baby River was left to her own devices after the LKH episode ended. An older version of Amy and Rory (and the Doctor) were there for her. Not the version that we saw in that episode but older.

Amy also can't really cook to save her life. (Like mother, like daughter) But! She loves making her arts and crafts for River and sends them off to Luna U (either in person or through the Doctor, after ensuring he gets to her in the right time of course)

She's also learning how to be human. Like all the humany-wumany emotions and such. It's not perfect but she'll get there... eventually... -ish

I already mentioned this in a previous ask I think but baby River refuses to eat from the cafeteria. She has this fridge in her room where it's always stocked with food made by Rory. She just needs to heat it up. The food are also in little containers. Like one container for each meal.

She is a huge, huge nerd. Like HUGE. She may be playful and naughty and a tease but that thirst for knowledge has such a grip on her. Like come on (and I'm saying this to the "River only studied archeology to stalk the Doctor" people), she has a freaking doctorate and she eventually becomes a professor? That takes fucking dedication folks.

Madame Vastra and Jenny Flint are her godmothers. Strax is her favorite potato.

(Fun fact: she once tried to open him up because she wanted to know if his insides were actually potato-like after she heard the Doctor call him a potato.)

(Bonus fun fact: Strax's term of endearment for her is actually 'Big Head'.)

Since we've mentioned the Paternoster Gang, I'd also like to add that she loves "practicing" with Strax. She'll later use that knowledge to tease other Sontarans with unending glee. To the detriment of the Doctor's blood pressure. Her mum doesn't know of course ("River's a good girl, Doctor."). Her dad has his suspicions but leaves her alone ("It's all in good fun."). Jenny is unimpressed but knows telling her to stop will make her do it more but without their knowledge. Madame Vastra tells her 'no' but only when Jenny is around. When Jenny is *not* around, Madame Vastra gives her pointers.

Baby River is Madame Vastra and Jenny's pseudo-daughter. Between the Doctor and River, these two deserve a parenting award.

(Not so fun fact: the only time Strax called her 'River Song' was when he realized she will never be coming back to sneak up on him and make sure his skills are sharp "for the glory of the fucking Sontaran Empire, my darling potato head". He didn't really understand at first. Just thought she's been visiting less. Vastra and Jenny don't have the heart to tell him. They keep their lips firmly shut every time he sets a place for River during the days she usually visits. I think he only fully realized when Nardole came by with letters from River addressed to them.)

Also none of these "fun facts" are actually canonically fun facts 😭 Just wanted to make that clear in case it wouldn't be obvious. #headcanons

[pitchlag]

Rvb19 thoughts in no particular order

Yeah so. I still think s13 is The capping point for me and all that comes after is hypothetical/simulations or whatever.

First of all. No, you fucking don't get to separate Grif and Simmons.

Having the groups act hostile towards each other (or just the Reds against Caboose again) right after Chorus was a a big enough of a crime already. But those two are a package deal.

So what the fuck even happened in the SoC fight? Why would they let Tucker just walk out in the aftermath? I guess Carolina booked it to go after him bc why else would she leave Wash alone again, after he was supposedly injured?? Also Doc dying, wow rude. Donut and his VA are free to enjoy their break but where' was heeeeeeee where'd he goooooo he was barely mentioned at aaaalllllllll >:(

Sarge's death speech was surprisingly long and clear even though his lungs were probably pierced, cauterized or no.

On one hand I have a hard time seeing Sarge dying peacefully in a bed instead of in battle but he didn't have to stay at that doorway after they got back. He didn't have to die there. I'm glad he went back for Caboose though cuz that is one his boys (even if he's a dirty Blue).

Grif and Simmons talking about him at his grave was pretty good scene and so was the campfire reminiscing one but again, Sarge didn't have to die and I refuse a world where Grif and Simmons would go their separate ways like that. No wonder Gus and Geoff were shocked to find out this was the last season.

I got so excited the second I recognized Tex's knuckle crack ;o;

So close to a proper Tex and Caro combo, though I do get that they wouldn't work well together because of their history and different fighting styles :( Still, even if AI boosted, Tucker shouldn't be anywhere near good enough to go against both.

Also they got Kathleen back for Tex, John Erler for North and Samantha Ireland for CT??? Couldn't have seen that coming. Also Miles was aight doing Elijah Wood's voice but I guess a lot of it was helped by the voice mods.

Beta may have been "a failure" and Sigma is a bitch but his speech at her felt really off. She was still a major part of Alpha and the memories of Allison were the reason the rest of the pieces came to be in the first place. The Meta collective tried to catch her both in cases of the og Tex and Epsi-Tex, so Sigma full on rejecting her and the rest not reacting at all was really weird.

"This time, I'm not based on his memories, I'm based on theirs. And I always kicked their asses." A nice change of pace re: Beta as Alpha's/Allison's "failure". ....

Chex has embedded itself deep into my brain, so of course I Felt Things seeing them interact one last time fr fr. Tex finally got to go out with some agency of her own, yet we've come a full circle, they're back together again as Leonard and Allison. At least one good ending. Easily the best part of the movie.

Security working from home extremely funny, but the bit went on for too long and video calls w/ technical issues bc haha relatable feels like an overdone trope already

Felix being included as a part of the Meta was kinda weird? He never really interacted with the armor or the AI to warrant it I think.

Niner and Sheila :)

No Junior :(

So uh. Tucker got no closure re:Epsilon's death and just kinda. Walks it off after the possession is over? After Wash and Memory!Doc had that talk about the things an AI in your head does to you??

Speaking of Wash:

I know he's always been linked to memory and I actually like how they handled his brain damage in the Shisno Paradox, but I just have a very different image of how he feels about the PFL folks in the aftermath. To me Carolina always seemed more like the type to feel regret over how things went with PFL; she was kind of in a leadership position, had her tragic relationship with York and she felt taking down the Director was her duty.

Wash did arguably have a lot more positive ties to others than she did during the Project, but he was ready to burn it all down while in Recovery duty. I always thought he would have a lot harder time moving past his own trauma of getting left behind to get back to the good memories. Regrets about Doc I can kinda understand since they had time to work together while at Chorus after Wash's villain arc was over, but again, the man carries a grudge like it's a badge of honor. He didn't exactly get closure with his former teammates, aside from collecting the AI from their dead bodies after he'd been left alone following the fall of the MoI and after South shot him in the back. It's interesting how differently Shisno trilogy and S19 handled how Wash and Carolina feel about the whole thing, but I'm glad they stick together regardless. I love their relationship so much.

Wash staying silent when the recovery unit is broken..... Ngl I'm kinda obsessed with how he and Epsilon never got closure

I still don't have interest in checking out Zero....

Woulda been a lot better if they just let Trocadero do the music :( As predicted, the movie OST lacked the personality the series OST was built on and somehow including one track from them felt a bit of an insult. A reminder of what could've been. Also I didn't like the "oohh this part is super loud because movie" bits

Tragically obvious how rushed the production was and how they had a lot less people and resources to work with

If Shisno was a mixed bag of some high highs and a lot of lows, this was relatively steadily ok. Some dips, at least one peak. Not nearly as good as what precedes it but. ok. I can take it as one possibility

Sigh. The funky space marines are finally free. (I'm not, these fuckers seem to continue to fail evacuating my brain)

[temnurus]

WWX POV Fic Recs

So! As a diehard Wei Ying fan, I thought it would be rather timely to come up with a rec list that showcased him in all his clever, chaotic, charming glory. This mostly some of my more recent reads, as I tried not to duplicate recs from my top ten list and the 10 extra honorable mentions because I couldn't stop myself.

Ahem. Anyway, this is a good mix of stuff. We've got everything from accidental baby acquisition, to case fic, to monsterfucking! (You're welcome, fellow deviants. 😉) Happy WWX day, folks! Now onto the recs!

hold up a mirror by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 36,170)

Thoughts: Another brilliant friends to lovers fic by one of my favorite authors. They wow me every single time, no exaggeration. In this one Wei Ying is lonely. He’s also tired of being set up on blind dates by his concerned brother when he stumbles upon the fact that Lan Zhan is pining for some idiot who has somehow failed to see how great he is. Obviously them pretending to date will solve both of these problems. Jiang Cheng will get off his back, & they’ll be able to make Lan Zhan’s crush jealous enough to realize what he’s missing. Cue me banging my head against my desk while muttering about their joint stupidity, & we have the recipe for yet another fic making it to my favorites list.

(we've got) time for one more by impossibletruths (E, 71,504)

Thoughts: I felt Wei Ying’s longing in my bones in this fic. For the music, for Lan Zhan, for all the things that could’ve been. He was such a good dad to A’Yuan, & their relationship was so touching. I cried several times in this fic, one of which was inspired by Wei Ying & the Jiang siblings trio. The feelings surrounding them & the planning of Yanli’s wedding were so bittersweet with canon lurking in the background. I really loved getting to see it come together differently here, though. Seeing Lan Zhan through Wei Ying’s eyes was also a huge treat here, & I loved their dynamic, angst & all. This was a great fic, highly recommended!

Stumbling Into You by Magnolia822 (E, 39,332)

Thoughts: I really enjoyed this one. Wei Ying & Lan Zhan’s relationship felt very soft here, & sometimes I love that. It really worked with the whole tone of the fic. I liked Lan Zhan’s characterization in particular, which was neat since the story is told from Wei Ying’s perspective. There was a touch of angst, mostly towards the end, but the fic definitely earned its happy ending tag. I recommend it if you enjoy college AUs & our boys being soft idiots in love.

Tripped at Every Step by brooklinegirl (E, 28,758)

Thoughts: This fic was such a fun read. Wei Ying’s confusion was just delightful, & seeing Lan Zhan shower him with love in every way he knew how was breath-takingly sweet. There was a lot of fun teasing & banter, as well as an incident with a hickey that had me laughing until I cried. Nothing hurt in this, & I appreciated that so much because sometimes you just need a little softness. This did that just right. I highly recommend it.

The Golden Cutsleeve by syrus_jones (E, 77,020)

Thoughts: This is one of the most glorious things I’ve ever read in my life. I am not exaggerating when I say that. I cannot tell you how many times I laughed so hard I cried. This fic was hilarious, sexy, & full of Wei Ying being his chaotic best self. I nearly lost my mind at how hot some of the smut was, & it definitely earned the Crack Taken Seriously & Porn with Feelings tags. I’m not normally a crack fic person, so my ringing endorsement of this fic should not be taken lightly. 10/10, will absolutely read it again. As should you!

so take my hand (take my whole life too) by cicer (E, 92,343)

Thoughts: This is the second accidental baby acquisition fic I read for Wangxian, & A-Yuan is much younger here, not even a year old. There are lots of cute baby moments, including Wei Ying & Lan Zhan figuring out how to be parents together on the fly. Wei Ying had a huge crush on Lan Zhan and was, of course, convinced that Lan Zhan didn’t like him back. He is very, very stupid, but that’s okay because he’s obviously always very wrong about that. I laughed a lot at this fic, but it was also very touching. Not a whole lot of angst here besides the unfortunate reason for A-Yuan being left with them, but those subjects aren’t graphically described or deeply gone into.

In Love and War by Cataclysmic_Calamity (E, 68,321)

Thoughts: This is A/B/O dynamics done right & is easily the best of the trope that I’ve read for this ship. Mind the tags, of course, but I do recommend this if Omegaverse is your thing. Wei Ying’s plan to make himself insufferable didn’t go quite as well as he’d hoped, & before he knew it he was suffering the indignity of falling in love with his own husband. The nerve! Haha. There’s a good amount of angst, & the depth of feeling was gripping. I also enjoyed the side pairing of SangCheng. This author wrote a Hualian fic that’s one of my favorite fanfics period, so that certainly lends itself to the quality of the writing.

Full Moon Blues by Unforth (E, 39,034)

Thoughts: Alright monsterfuckers, this one’s for you. It’s exactly what you’d expect. Wei Ying’s phobia of dogs plays a large role. The depiction of panic attacks is very visceral in this fic, so be warned if that’s an issue for you. The angst is all emotional in nature & does pass eventually, leading to the star of this fic, the fucking. Oh my goodness, the fucking. The smut is so hot it nearly melted my face off! If you like werewolf sex, you’re in for a treat here. But don't let that fool you, their emotional connection is just as satisfying as the smut! I recommend anything by Unforth, to be honest. I’ve loved everything I’ve read by them.

for sale: eboy bathwater, never used by lewdwife (E, 25,123)

Thoughts: This was absolutely hilarious, boarderline Crack Treated Seriously almost. The Sugar Daddy thing is a sort of almost/but not really kind of thing, but I honored the author’s tag anyway. I could feel the convention energy as Wei Ying & the gang geared up for it, & it was a whole lot of fun. The smut was absolutely filthy & very, very good. I definitely recommend this one. It was adorable.

a stone to break your soul, a song to save it by rikke (M, 179,769)

Thoughts: Despite this being rated Mature it actually does contain smut! It’s maybe tame smut compared to most Explicit rated fics, but I’ve always found there to be a very fine line between the two ratings that no one can really agree on. I digress, though. This fic is plot-heavy & plot-driven. It’s an interesting case fic that also features an arranged marriage between Wei Ying & Lan Zhan in order to redeem Wei Ying in the eyes of the cultivation world after the events at Qiongqui Path. The Wens end up being sheltered by the Lans at Cloud Recesses instead of the Burial Mounds as a result. I enjoyed the twists & turns of this, & watching them slowly get closer was as rewarding as always. There was some interesting cultivation theory featured as well.

[lebuc]

lebuc's place

* ( a reblog & repost )

shake the shackle, & dare to enter this space at my pace;

...hang up your hangups* in lebuc's place.  

you're welcomed, it's warm i mean no harm to you, the environment, your particular view & tint 

no finger pointing in this abode, feel free to fly your freak flag a la mode we've already cracked the code

after all - go sign your name on the wall; you'll always be on point, soul presence is anointed up in this joint.

you may come into,  or just decide to linger near until you're comfortable, allayed any doubts or fear

we'll just be swaying o'er fallow ground turned profound with folk like you comin' around oh - & enjoy the sounds -

preselected, sky inflected; requests are respected: what've you found?

it's all about elevation spanning perception schisms in this algorithm nation

& we don't take vacations, just pauses for the causal chains of fools who might need schooling, but we don't complain or dwell & allow them to descend for retooling  in their own particular level of hell... (eh Dante?)

in any case, all is well; you'll always find a haven, minutes, hours worth sav'rin' ain't no misbehavin’ here; Paul's freedom call is not all we revere in the race to lebuc's place;

peace, hu-race - ya hear? * 6/19 - lebuc - lebuc's place * ...nod to Herbie Hancock

[purity-town]

Been a little while since I last answered some asks, so -- replies below the cut!

Here ya go! Also tossed it in my sta.sh in case Tumblr crunches it.

Aha, don't worry, Chris! You'll get to experience plenty of horrors soon that'll validate your weird dreams!

All things considered, Chris is handling things pretty well right now, but I think he'd still accept a hug!

I whipped out my extensive comic collection (four of The Adventure Zone graphic novels) to get some inspiration for this! Those books tend to have a pretty basic back cover with a couple of the main/supporting characters tossed onto it, and I can see something similar working for Purity Town considering how many NPCs there are overall in the game (even though the number we've actually seen in the comic up to this point is much lower)!

:D Thanks for reading! I can't always manage to finish pages on time, but I do my best and I'm glad y'all're enjoying updates.

My first experience learning about the whole Guide/WoF thing was...I think a Stampy Cat video years before I even knew what Terraria really was. I assumed it was the scary final boss of the game, and didn't think anything more on it for half a decade. And then 1.4 came along and I got incredibly attached to the character. That's just how it goes!

For what it's worth, I will make the disclaimer: while I find it interesting to push characters and write how they react as they crack, at the end of the day, I do write happy endings. And there's plenty of room for more happy one-shots in the AO3 fic!

I kept the monsters in a sketch/low-detail/silhouetted style mostly to emphasize that Chris' dreams were strange and imprecise, but it was still cool to play around with monster designs a bit! Translating designs from the game version to comic characters can be weird because you need to account for the game expecting you to always see them from a particular angle -- the Wall of Flesh is the most extreme/obvious example of this. When we get to seeing more of Plantera proper I'll definitely have to brush up on my flower-drawing skills, haha.

I haven't actually built it out in a Terraria world proper! The world used in the blog header is a screenshot from the world I first beat the game in.

As far as a general description goes, the main town is located in a forest biome with the snowy-mountains-and-lake background. In the main area of town is the tavern and the nurse's clinic, plus the (now abandoned) clothier's store. Andrew also lives in the forest town, though slightly up-hill from it, so that he has to walk through some trees before he gets into the town square itself.

For the most part I imagine characters living in the biome they prefer in-game (with exceptions for those who like the Hallow), though the bulk of folks live in the Purity Town. The settlements in the other biomes are smaller, since having the pylons means you can go wherever you need to go for business quite easily.

Thanks! Terraria has some crazy lore once you start digging into it -- I think it'd be really cool to see "Zullie the Witch"-style lore deep dives just going ham on the minutiae of NPC interactions and Bestiary entries.

But in any case, getting to take all of that and work it into the comic here and there is good fun :D

Thank you!! I had a lot of fun with this chapter's cover, especially with the lighting and the border around the top. The Aether/shimmer stuff and the more glowy critters like faelings and prismatic lacewings are just such a delight to draw, haha.

[miyuhpapayuh]

4. Foreign feelings

She heads into the library and finds a quiet corner, near the back. She pulls the purple, cushioned chair away from the desk and sinks down into it. She pulled her hood over her hair and folded her arms on the table, placing her head on top.

Forcing herself to drink an entire bottle of water with Aspirin, her head is still on fire. She was the definition of a lightweight.

"Stevie?" A voice calls out.

She opened her eyes and lifted her head up, turning to her right. All she sees is a red sleeve and instantly knows it's Rod. She laughs and lays her head back down.

"Please, sit down. You're entirely too tall to be hovering over me."

He smacks his lips and rounds the table, sitting across from her. She hums as his cologne hits her nostrils.

"You good?" She nods, keeping her eyes closed. An unzipping of a book bag is heard, along with the clicking of a pen.

She opens one eye, watching his hand glide across the notebook that's in front of him. This must be for his English paper.

He raises an eyebrow before speaking, "it's not polite to stare, you know?"

"Why not? You look adorable when you're focused."

He raises his eyes up from his paper to settle on mine.

"Are you flirting with me, babygirl?"

"Yep." She responds.

A shocked expression makes its way onto his face.

"Wow, she finally gives a straight answer." He cracks, while she rolls her eyes.

"Anyways," she changes the subject, "what's your paper on?"

"The OJ Simpson murder case. It's some wild shit." She snorts, leaning up from the table.

"Well, out of all the things to write about... that's the most interesting one, for sure." He laughs.

Silence falls over them, a comfortable one. The library is basically empty, besides a couple people towards the front on the computers.

"Random question."

"Shoot," she placed her chin in the palm of her hand, giving him her attention.

"What's your last name?"

"Johnson. What's yours?"

"Black," he clicks his pen and sits it down, "is Tyler the only friend you have?"

"Pretty much. The girls here are cool, I guess, but they try too hard and I don't have time. We've been friends since high school, and we've been inseparable ever since. What about you?"

"I'm a loner, honestly. I have friends back home, though. We link up around the holidays and the summer, but that's about it." He shrugs.

"Back home... where's that, if you don't mind me asking."

"New Jersey."

"Aw, you're like an hour away. That's gotta be convenient." He nods, smiling a bit.

"Yeah, it is. I make it a priority to keep money aside to go back home, from time to time."

"That's sweet. I bet your folks love seein' you."

"It's just my mom, actually."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Unfortunately, my dad's never been in my life like that." She sighs, feeling bad for him.

"I'm sorry..."

"It's okay. My mom's like my whole world."

"Must be nice. My parents are total assholes." He chuckles at her air quotes.

"Really?" She nodded, rolling her eyes at the thought of that conversation.

"Yeah, they disowned me." His brows furrow.

"Is that what happened, that day I came and picked you up?"

"Yeah. We got into this dumb argument and my dad told me that I didn't have to worry about him or my mom doing anything pertaining to me, anymore." The shocked look on his face only grows.

"What the hell? That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. I'm sorry that happened to you."

"It's fine. My dad actually tried to apologize to me, but I didn't care. Damage is done, ya know?" He nods.

"Well, everybody has bad stories. I'll tell you mine, one day."

"Alright, Ima hold you to that." She looked at the clock behind his head, squinting a little to read the time. 9:45 a.m.

She sighs and scoots her chair away from the table, beginning to stand up. He stands up as well.

"What's your first class?"

"Math."

"Mine is no better. I got biology."

Tossing his notebook back into his bag and zipping it up, he slings his bag over his shoulder and reaches out for her hand.

She stares at it, before placing mine in his. He laughs at her slight hesitation, making her blush.

"Is this too much for you?" He asks, as they start walking out of the library and towards her class. She shakes her head.

"Nah, it's just... new. Real new." She looks up at him.

"Yeah, for me too. But, this feels nice." He glances at her, then back at the semi crowded hallway.

They stop in front of her class, with their fingers still intertwined.

He licks his lips before pressing them against hers. Her body presses into his, slightly and he smirks against her lips, before pulling away slowly.

"I'll meet you after class, aight?" He says.

She nods. He finally releases her hand and heads back into the opposite direction. She sighs and heads inside.

"Mhm, I saw it too... that must be her man."

"Nah, that's gotta be a side chick or sumn— she ain't cute enough!"

"Maybe, y'all should mind y'alls business. That'd be great." They both look in her direction with flushed facial expressions.

"Oh," she sat down in my seat, "and that is my man. All fine and all mine." She winks at them, making them gripe and turn around.

༺═───────────────────────────────────────═༻

"And, what did he say?"

Stevie secures the lid on top of the hot coffee and hands it to the customer, before turning back to Claire.

"He thought it was cute."

She giggles, pushing her curls away from her shoulders. 

"Are y'all official?"

She shook her head.

"Nah, we still gotta get to know each other better, and all that good shit. I feel like we're moving at a steady pace, though." She nods, moving to her left to start wiping down the counter.

"Well, that's really cute. I've only seen him a few times, but y'all are adorable together." She blushes.

"Thanks, C." A couple of customers came in, pulling them out of conversation and back into work mode.

There's a couple and a group of teenagers. The teenagers head towards Claire, while the couple heads her way.

"Oh my gosh, you're so pretty!" She smiles at the brown skinned woman. Her black coils are piled on top of her head, wrapped up in a red satin-like scarf.

"Thank you! So are you," she looks beside her, nodding at her boyfriend or so she's guessing. "How are you?"

He nods, sending a small smile her way, and she returns the gesture, proceeding to take their order.

“What can I get for y'all, this afternoon?"

"I'll take a mocha latte and a chocolate chip muffin."

"I'll just take a black coffee."

She writes everything on a sticky note and hands it to Alana. She begins to fix the coffee, while she retrieves the muffin.

"What's your name, doll?" She placed her treat in a bag and slid it across the glass counter.

"Stevie." She looks at her boyfriend and comes back to her, making her look between the two of them, confused.

"You know John?" She asks, making her heart stop for a second.

"John who?" She asks.

He squints his eyes, before saying, "Stevens."

Alana walks up beside her, placing both drinks on the counter.

"I used to work with him, what's this about?"

"His friends know a few of mine. We were aware that he was fired and he told us that it was because of you, love." 

The irritation spread across her face like a wildfire.

"I didn't get him fired— you know what, this isn't the time or the place. Your total is ten dollars and five cents." Stevie says, feeling her anxiety rise.

She pulls out her card and completes her transaction.

"Thank you, Stevie. Our intentions weren't to disturb you, I apologize."

"Have a nice day."

They move to the side, letting other customers in front of them and eventually head out the door.

She sighs and continues serving.

I have no time for this mess.

༺═───────────────────────────────────────═༻

She decided to stay an extra thirty minutes, today, to let Claire know about the whole John situation and whoever those customers were.

She informed her to let her know when they come back, so she can handle the situation accordingly. It made her feel a little at ease, along with the schedule changes being made.

She'll now only be working until eight, at the latest, instead of closing like she's used to. She'll miss it but her safety comes first.

"Hey, lovebug!" Tyler comes beaming around the corner, plopping down on top of her. Caught off guard, she stares at her with wide eyes.

"Hey... why're you so cheery?" She smiles even harder.

"I got a job!" Stevie's eyes grow wider.

"What?! Where??"

"It's a café called The Little Diner. They sell more breakfast stuff than anything else, and it's got this cozy, old timey feel to it. My boss is this high yellow, gray big-haired woman. She's got the sweetest voice ever and she's already taken a liking to me."

"I'm so proud of you, girl! I knew you'd find a good place for yourself. I felt it."

She playfully rolls her eyes and gets up from Stevie's lap.

"Thanks, girl. I officially start Wednesday." She nods and pulls her hair up into a bun.

"How was work?" Stevie sighs at the question.

"Some people came in today, asking me what my name was and shit about John. It made me super uncomfortable and irritated, because he got people thinking that I got him fired. I'm not tryna get caught up in some bullshit, just cause that muhfucka can't get it through his head that he needs to fuck with bitches that actually like his stupid ass. Like, what the actual fuck?"

"Again, do you want me to gut him like a fish?" There goes that damn grin, again.

She grimaces and zones out for a second, thinking back to what Rod said.

"Stevie... hello!" She snaps her fingers in her face, pulling her back into reality. She chuckles and looks at her.

"The hell was that about? Why you laughin'?"

"I told Rod about him, and he told me that if anything was to ever pop off, he'd handle it." She raises an eyebrow.

"Ouu shit na! Big Daddy handlin' your problems, huh? Y'all must be serious—"

"Seriously, shut up. That sounded so ridiculous, Tyler." She starts laughing. She sucks her teeth.

I literally might strangle someone over that noise, one day.

"Whatever, heffa. I'll keep my hands clean... for now." She walks into the kitchen, leaving Stevie.

She eventually heads upstairs. Heading into her bathroom, she strips down and take a quick shower, brushing her teeth once she's done.

She heads into her room and grabs an oversized T-shirt, pulling it on. It's abnormally hot in her room, so panties are not an option tonight.

Turning her fan on, sitting down on my bed and grabbing her phone. She calls Rod and waits for him to answer.

"Hello," his voice comes through deep and raspy, making her insides flip.

"Hey... did I wake you up?" She asks, as shuffling sounds on his end.

"A little, yeah." He laughs. "But it's alright, is everything okay?"

"Well, not really...."

"Lay it on me, babygirl."

"You remember that guy I was telling you about, at my old job? Well, there was this couple that came in today. They were cool at first, then started asking me what my name was and looking at me funny. Come to find out, they know of each other and he's going around telling people that I got him fired and whatever the hell else he can make up, I guess."

"You want me to handle it?" The authority in his voice does something to me... I can't explain it.

"How would you ev—"

"All I need is a yes, and we can go from there."

"Okayyy,” she drags out, “yes."

"Alright, ima take this off your hands so don't go worrying about whoever they were, him or anything else about that situation, aight? I got you."

"Thank you." An mhm sounds on his end.

"How was your day, other than that?"

"It was alright. I missed you," it came out, before she could catch it. She mentally smacks herself.

"Word?" Amusement is laced in his tone, causing her to let out a sigh.

"Yeah."

"Hm.. I might've missed you, too."

"Might have? What does that mean?" He starts laughing at her defensive mood.

"It means, maybe I missed you... maybe I didn't miss you." She pressed her tongue against the inside of her cheek and rolled her eyes.

"Wow, using my line against me. I thought you were better than that."

He laughs, again.

"I can stoop to your level, if need be. That opportunity was right in my face, babygirl."

"Anyway... I was gonna ask you how your day was, but I don't care anymore."

He smacks his lips.

"Yes you do."

"No I don't."

"If you didn't care, you wouldn't have announced that you were gonna even ask me about my day, dear."

"No, I only did that because it's polite, honey."

"Whatever you say, darling." She cracks a smile.

"Okay, Roderick."

"Using my government name, now? Wow, Stevie." Again, shuffling is heard.

"Hey, are you at home, by any chance?"

"Yeah. What's up?" She perks up a little bit.

"I wanna see you— if that's okay," she pulls the cover back and sits up.

"Uh yeah, that's fine."

"Okay, I'll be there in like five minutes."

She hangs up and stands up from the bed. She opens her top drawer and pulls out her lace panties and pulls on the first pair of sweats she can find.

She headed downstairs and slipped her feet into her slippers by the side of the couch and sat down, occupying herself with an episode of Living Single.

Another episode on the love story gone sour, between Scooter and Khadijah.

"Ugh, they can never get it together." Tyler comes around the corner, startling her some.

Walking beside the wall unit, she finally gets a good look at her friend. She's dressed in dark blue distressed jeans, a lace bodysuit and black strappy heels. Her hair is parted down the middle and her lips are stained with a plum colored lipstick.

"You look good! Where are you going?" Stevie asks.

"There's this party in Manhattan. I know after the rough day you've had, you'd rather chill here or something. Then, I was gonna come ask you but, I heard you on the phone with your boo so I left it alone."

"Well, it's a good thing you're a detective, cause I honestly just wanna stay home. As a matter of fact, Rod is on his way over here, so you have fun."

She makes a goofy face.

"Oouu, let me find out you tryna get some dick!"

"He's not even my boyfriend," she scrunches her face up.

"Lie again."

A knock sounds at the door, stopping their conversation. She backs up towards it with a smirk on her lips.

Stevie gets up and follows her. She unlocks it, pulling it open to reveal someone who's not Rod.

She sighs and turns away, heading back to the couch.

"Hey, babe!" She looks back at me and waves. She returns the gesture, along with, be safe.

A few seconds later, another knock sounds at the door. She gets up and opens it again, sighing heavily because Tyler never locks the damn door behind herself.

She comes face to face with gorgeous himself.

His waves are hidden underneath a dark red, velvet durag this time. A black hoodie graces his upper half, while gray sweats grace his lower half.

“Hi,” she says.

“Hey,” he responds.

She steps to the side and lets him walk inside, not without planting a kiss on her cheek. She blushes and closes the door, locking it behind herself.

He takes a couple steps into the common area and turns around to look at her. "So, this is how you livin', huh?"

She giggles and grabs his hand, leading him into the living room. He sits down, immediately fixing his eyes on the tv.

She starts to sit on the cushion beside him, but instead gets pulled into his lap.

Her eyes grow wide for a second, as she shifts a little, then becomes perfectly still.

He places his chin on her shoulder and wraps an arm around her waist. She relaxes a little bit and stares at the screen.

"So, you missed me, huh?" His breath tickles her neck.

"I actually did, yeah. It seems like you missed me a little more than you're letting out, though."

His deep chuckle vibrates through her.

"Well for one, I wasn't expecting you to feel the same I did, so I tried to play it off. But, you're right, I missed you." He places a wet kiss on her neck, causing the inside of her thighs to tingle.

"I can see that," she says, as his arm tightens around her waist.

His free hand plays with the end of her ponytail that's thrown over her shoulder, absentmindedly twirling random strands around his finger.

"Have you ever had a boyfriend, before?"

"Nah. I hadn't even been on a date, until you came along." He turns her sideways on his lap, staring down at her with wide eyes. She laughs.

"For real?"

"For real." She slides off his thighs and onto the other cushion, leaving her wine painted toes in his lap.

"That's crazy! Can I ask why?"

"I mean, boys were never an interest to me, in the first place. Like, of course everybody has their crushes and whatever else, but that's where it stopped for me. Tyler was always the one who got kissed after her classes, walked to her classes, taken out on dates and whatever else. While I was making sure I stayed on top of my studies, and kept my reputation as being the boring one." She laughs, shrugging.

"You're definitely not boring. But, I understand what you're saying. If it makes you feel any better, I've only had one girlfriend."

"That makes me feel a little better," she teases.

"Maybe I'll earn that title, one day." A smirk tugs at the corner of his plump lips.

"Maybe you will." His right hand rests comfortably on her ankle, while the other drapes the back of the chair. She pulls her hands inside her shirt and sinks down into the chair, getting even more comfortable.

They stayed that way until almost midnight.

A short marathon of one of her favorite shows, turned into a movie that neither one of them had seen nor wanted to see.

"I guess I should be headin' out. I gotta be up pretty early."

She pulls her legs off his lap and stands up, holding her hand out. He places his warm hand in hers and lifts up from his spot.

She cuts the tv off and leads them towards the door. He drags his feet behind her. She snickers and turns around, pressing her back to the wall beside the cold door frame.

"Do you have classes tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I have two. The first one is at twelve." He nods, rubbing a hand over his covered waves. She licks her lips.

"You wanna go to breakfast with me tomorrow morning? My treat."

"I'd love to." His dark orbs pierce through her, making her shrink underneath his gaze.

His feet take a couple strides towards hers, while his hand pulls her chin up to look at him. She sucks in a breath, out of habit.

"Do I make you nervous?" He asks, and she shakes her head.

"No, I've just never... felt this way before." He moves in closer to her lips, making it harder for her to breathe correctly.

Relax was the last thing she heard, before his lips were pressed against hers.

A sort of moaning sigh leaves her, making him press against her body. She wraps her arms around his neck, while his hands find her waist.

His teeth capture my bottom lip and tug on it, causing her mouth to open slightly and allowing his tongue to invade. 

Although this is new, it feels so natural.

She follows his rhythm, somewhat afraid that she'll mess up the mood if she goes astray. His fingers press into her sides, making her skin grow hot.

Pulling away from her swollen lips, his plump ones peck the corner of her mouth, all the way to a sweet spot on her neck. Her hands latch onto the back of his neck.

"Rod..." she whispers, her head falling back against the wall, feeling his teeth pinch her skin, then the soft butterfly kisses cover it up.

His tongue swipes over a specific spot, making her lower region throb. She softly pushes him away, trying to calm her hormones.

A smirk dances across his face, prolonging the throbbing. He pecks her lips again, before unlocking the door.

"I'll get outta here, before I start something you can't keep up with..." he sends a wink her way, "I'll see you tomorrow."

He leaves, closing the door behind himself.

She turns and locks the door, before heading back upstairs. She heads into the bathroom, turns the light on and a dark red bruise catches her eye.

"Woah.." she ran her fingers over it, still feeling his lips there.

Climbing into bed, she knew that tonight, her dreams were gonna be about nothing else but his lips on hers.

@soufcakmistress @thegifstories @blackerthings @cocoa-puffs @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @chaneajoyyy @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @headcannonxgalore @henneseyhoe @blowmymbackout @darqchilddaydreamz @becauseimswagman1 @twistedcharismaaa @uzumaki-rebellion @trippyscotch @blackpinup22

[jandjsalmon]

2023 FFRC - April 🌷

It's finally hammock weather in Western Canada, folks! And we've been enjoying watching the hockey playoffs from the patio entertainment area we set up once the snow melted - well, I don't know if the word "enjoying" should be used when the team we hate most in the world is moving on to the 2nd round - but it's been exciting anyway.

We've also been sick at our house for most of the month but we're finally starting to come out of it. My Bethy still sounds like Miley Cyrus when she talks - but other than some low-key coughs, she's no longer down with a fever, so we're happy about that.

Continuing along - it's rugby season - so that means a lot of driving to away games to cheer on the Spartans (which means a LOT of reading). I've read more this month than I have ever read. I was also really focused on finishing up the 'extreme' tasks at the @fanfic-reading-challenge - and I finished a few days ago. I'll keep going until I've completed all the tasks in the challenge but I can do that over the course of the rest of the year. 🎉

Below the cut are my stats and some fun fic recs for you. Enjoy!

April 2023

So as you can see, this month I read 2.3 million words, cracking over 7 mill total - and read 922 chapters (of various lengths), and 107 full (and sometimes long) stories. I was working on some fandom challenges and let me tell you - it was harder than it looked!

As for my recs for you! Try these - you might enjoy them. 🖤🖤

--*--

Wonderwall by junkpuppet225 (Carmy/OC - M 11/11)

Summary: Carmy meets Mia at a Al-Anon meeting. She’s going through a similar situation and they become friends. Can he get out of his own head long enough to embrace the feelings he’s starting to have for her or will living in his brothers shadow cause him to miss out on a chance at love? Carmy/OC

Why you should read: THE BEAR FANFICTION! I'm not a Carmy/Sydney fangirl and that is what this fandom is saturated with, so I was HAPPY to find that someone wrote a story where Carmy meets a girl at an meeting and they just GET each other. And neither one is a perfect human - she doesn't SAVE him from himself or anything. They just bear each other's burdens and are THERE for eachother. This is just gorgeous.

--*--

Hello, Sunshine by Wonderlandleighleigh (Lenny/Midge - M 20/20)

Summary: It's June of 1962, and to celebrate being a year clean, Lenny rents a little house in Malibu, inviting Midge to join him.

Why you should read: I got back on my nonsense with the season premiere of TMMM and since I got 3 minutes of Lenny and now have to wait like 8 episodes to see him again, I thought I'd reread old favourites. This one is set post S4 sometime in the future - when Lenny has been in rehab and wants to make things right with Midge. It's SO good and captures their characters perfectly and makes me want to sit on the beach with good friends (and a handsome Jewish comic).

--*--

Love in the Time of Quarantine by @melanoradrood (Neville/Pansy - E 5/5)

Summary: a case study on what happens when a bratty sub spends eighteen months in quarantine and gets so desperate she will have sex with the shy boy from boarding school that promises her orgasms. aka muggle panville tinder au during the great panini

Why you should read: FIRSTLY - Neville is one of my most favourite characters in all of Potterdom and I wanted him to be happy almost from the very first moment we met him. Secondly - it's funny. Hot and funny and sweet. I mean, Neville wants to save her dying(dead) plants that happened to be in the back of her tinder pictures. He's a delight. And this fic is also a delight. You should read it!

--*--

The Raven - For the Rare and Radiant Maiden Series by @drollicpixiefanfic (Wenvier - E 3 fics)

Summary: Xavier Thorpe didn’t exactly expect Wednesday to use the cell phone he purchased for her. It was a ridiculous idea, a whim, a fancy. But something had compelled him to try. So, it was with some shock, two weeks into their break from Nevermore, that Xavier’s phone buzzed on his nightstand.

Why you should read: I'm certain I rec'd this before - but now there is a third story that came out this month (and IT IS AMAZING) - so I could just rec that third story, or I could link you to the whole thing and make you reread it (just like I did). Post season 1 - kinky hot but super tender as well. Funny. Just lovely. and I'm never going to complain about a Xavier PoV. He's my fave. Read this one - if you're not into Wenvier yet, make this your first foray. Come ship with me!

--*--

ANYWAY - I'm always looking for new fic recommendations, so if you have any stories you think I'll love (whether you wrote them or your friend wrote them or you came upon them accidentally), please drop me a line or send me a dm. I've found SO many awesome fics through recommendations from others. I'll read almost any pairing and any fandom. Shoot me a link!🖤

(lastly- I'm a little bit in love with this gif of Xavier waving - and I've been purposely flooding my dashboard with Percy for reasons - so the wave might become a theme for my year - have you seen my new tumblr layout? I'm kinda in love with it. SO pretty).

Anyway -👋🏼 Hiya -I'm happy you're here! I hope you have a wonderful May and I'll see you back here in a few weeks! Happy reading! 🖤

[revisitnormal]

asher's dubious bastard ramen recipe

are you like me, someone who both fucking loves ramen and also can't make the real deal to save their life?

boy do i have some good fucking news for you

I never measure jack shit, which is a bit of a shame because I know folks like specifics in recipes, but I have faith in your ability to improvise. Ready? Ready.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everything I used for this I just had chilling around my kitchen. It's mostly very flexible, and (save for one extremely key ingredient) you can use whatever you have sitting in your kitchen for this to work!

First off, toppings

In order to make packaged ramen a closer cousin to the real deal, you gotta add some toppings. This also has the added benefit of making it into A Whole Meal instead of just noodles in broth.

I have a specific list of the toppings I use, but that's just because I'm a very picky boy. I'll throw on some thinly slice some mushrooms and scallions, add some chicken I cooked up, and poach an egg in the broth to finish it off.*

Other recommended toppings I've seen are: nori, bamboo shoots, American cheese, kimchi, spam, bean sprouts, bok choy, sriracha, frozen veggies, and more.

Truly, you can put whatever the fuck you want on this bad boy.

Next, the soup

We've got our toppings all chosen and prepped, now it's time for the star of the show.

First up is the chicken broth. If you can get your hands on it, I'd recommend one of the "bone broth" labeled ones. To my knowledge, all stock/broth is bone broth, but they seem to have put some extra effort into these bad boys. In any case, if you can get good quality chicken broth you should use that, as it's the majority of the base.

Now I like things to have a bit of spice to them, so I add a dollop of gochujang (a Korean chili paste) and some pre-grated ginger (I use the kind in a tube, but that's just because I hate doing dishes and didn't want to grate it myself.) I didn't add that much for this ramen, but you can adjust accordingly to your desired heat level.

You'll also need a little pat of butter, the seasoning packet from the ramen, and some soy sauce.

Then, the Secret

Gelatin. Powdered gelatin.**

You know what gives ramen broth its delicious body? What makes it velvety and delicious and hearty? Yeah they make that ingredient in powdered form and it's indefinitely shelf-stable. As I was grabbing the instant ramen pack I saw it gathering dust in my pantry and went ".....huh"

Folks this is the one non-negotiable ingredient in this secret recipe.

Luckily, unflavored gelatin is really easy to come by in the baking aisle of your local grocery store.***

Finally, the process

Gather your toppings. Wash and slice what needs to be washed and sliced (mushrooms and scallions), cook what needs to be cooked (chicken), and set aside things that can't be added yet (soon-to-be-poached egg.)

Get some chicken stock heating on the stove. Add in your gochujang and ginger, as well as some of the instant-ramen flavoring packet and soy sauce to taste.

While you're bringing the broth to a boil, bloom your gelatin according to instructions. Generally, this means sprinkle over cold water and let sit for 1-5 minutes so the granules can hydrate properly.

Add your brick of noodles to the water once it boils, keeping an eye on it. While the noodles are still a bit undercooked, use tongs to take them out and put them into your serving bowl.****

Once your noodles are safely moved and your gelatin fully bloomed, turn the heat off.

Transfer a few spoonfuls of broth into your gelatin water and stir until dissolved. If it's not dissolving, you might need to add some more hot broth, or potentially the gelatin didn't bloom long enough (which I don't know how to fix.)

When all the gelatin is dissolved, pour the mixture into no-longer-boiling broth, add your little pat of butter, and stir to combine.

Crack an egg into the broth and put a lid on the pot to trap the residual heat while the egg poaches.

When the egg is done (???? minutes later? I am so sorry), transfer everything into the serving bowl and top appropriately.

The end!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know this is a super bastardized version of real ramen, but when you want something similar but don't have the cash for the real deal this version is still pretty darn tasty. I hope your instant ramen turns out as delicious as mine did, and I'd love to hear if you decide to give this a try.

Love,

Asher

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Frozen corn and bean sprouts also join the mix when I have them, but bean sprouts go bad faster than I can eat them and I always forget to check the freezer for ramen ingredients. Sometimes if I'm feeling fancy I'll toast some sesame seeds, but only sometimes because of Textures™️

**I only used powdered because that's what I had, but I don't see any reason why you couldn't use sheet gelatin instead!

***If you're a vegetarian/vegan, make sure you check to see that your gelatin is too– not all of them are.

****The instant noodles' structural integrity is dubious at best, and will turn to mush if you let them cook all the way.

[hyenabeanz]

I'm really tired of this shit.

The problem is *it's not working.* It's continuing to marginalize a whole fucking lot of us.

yeah, target is leaving it's cute shit up for the palatable queers. But the stuff that included trans people was stuffed back into the closet because that was just a little too far, and suddenly was threatening their profits with disruption in their stores. And they couldn't even be fucked to talk with the trans designer.

We see all these websites absolutely cracking down on "adult content" so they can sell to more advertisers. So gtfo, kinky queers who helped get us here.

It reeks of "we can't include trans people in the ENDA because no legislators will pass that! We gotta take what we can get! All this infighting is making us weak! Get under that bus so we can get on."

But beyond that, capitulating to capitalist takeovers of pride has a potential for real harm that will completely remove the point of pride and halt it's liberation focus.

Want a case study?

Cinco de Mayo.

Stick with me for a moment. As many rightly point out, Cinco de Mayo is not really a Mexican holiday. It's a blip there.

But the folks dismissing it as an American holiday are also usually missing a lot of goddamn context. Centrally: it is a Mexican-American holiday.

Cinco de Mayo grew out of Mexican-American communities in the US, and were celebrated in California since 1863 when the battle of Puebla happened in Mexico. The celebration of Cinco de Mayo in California in the late 1800s was two fold--it was Mexicans, who were still dealing with the effects of the defeat and colonialism that occurred during the Mexican-American war, latching onto an anticolonial victory for morale, and a few years later when France was driven out of Mexico, it meant France no longer could aid American confederates in the US civil war, so the celebration became tied into that union victory as well since California was a union state.

Fast forward, about a hundred years, and the celebration begins to spread more widely in the 60s-70s Chicano movement. Makes sense, as an anti-colonial, Mexican heritage pride, anticapitalist symbol. The holiday was used as a rallying point for Chicano civil rights.

But wait Beanz, you say, why don't we ever hear about that? And what's this got to do with pride? See if you can connect the dots here....

Because America and capitalism, the spread and rising popularity meant in the 1980s companies jumped on board with Cinco de Mayo and started commercializing it. Coors really kicked it off as an early adopter, hence the heavy alcohol connections. And in the last 40 years we've seen the commercialization and complete co-opting that's completly erased context to the point where well meaning white liberals scoff at Cinco de Mayo celebrations as a thing uncultured white people use as an excuse to get wasted, and everyone completely leaves the actual relevant people out of the equation.

Side fun fact for no reason: Absolut Vodka is widely accepted as the first company that really marketed to the gay commmunity.

So while I fully admit I also like and am not totally immune to rainbow tchotkes sometimes, especially as someone who grew up before that was a thing and I promise you I do get it, part of my heart does a pitter patter of amazement when I see fuckin pride shirts at WALMART, I absolutely will be complaining about rainbow capitalism this year and every year. Because I am not trying to be a queer that is allowed to assimilate in the terrible systems we have built. Giving my allegiance to corporations because they slapped a rainbow on a can isn't actually doing anything good for me. I'm working best I can to tear them all down, not invite them into my spaces. That absolutely does not assist hateful shitweasels and it's horseshit to say it is, because defeating them is part of that utter rejection of the current norms.

Y'all are playing keep away with a nuclear bomb. Yeah, you don't want the other guy to have it, that's bad. But keeping it in your living room and acting like you can't work towards or even talk about how we get rid of the bomb is going to kill you just as well as if the other asshole has it. Even if it doesn't blow up, it's leaking radiation.

Ultimately though, I don't begrudge LGBTQ people who do get excited about pride doodads or when the cultures they're invested in do things that make them happy. Their perogotive I guess. But to have the audacity to say me telling corporations to fuck off is an identical tantrum to people who want me dead? Fuck that. I'm not sucking Anheuser-Busch's primarily GOP donating dick. Self sabotage is not my kink.

also I promise this is unrelated to anything else I've been posting about but like. We're not doing the "rainbow capitalism" complaint this year. Sorry. I know pitching this particular hissy fit is really important to some of you. But years when the conservative movement du jour is to have a literally identical tantrum about any company that's putting rainbows on drink cans or reusable grocery bags because they view that as "supporting groomers and pedophiles," we don't get to throw fuel on that fire. Even if you disagree with the fire on an ideological level, it doesn't matter to the fire! This year, feel however you want to feel about any given company making their logo into a rainbow flag, but I promise the "boycott Anheuser Busch because they're supporting Deviants by making our beer gay" people do not give a shit whether you're supporting their cause from a gay standpoint or a homophobic one, they just care about the net result, which is that by getting outwardly mad about this, you are lending them support