#fml-its-ashley

[tarn-ati0n]

Champion Lance, live commentary

- ohohohoh boy, I do not feel good about this fight. I used up almost all of my healing items already, and I kinda forgot how underleveld I actually am. I have zero Idea which pokemon he sends out first, so I put Ashley in the lead, simply because she's my starter.

Here we fucking go

- he opens with Gyarados, because of fucking course he does. Ashley out, Sylt in. I wanted to keep her and her Aurora Beam for his Dragonites, but that plan quickly changed

- Gyarados did nothing against her, unfortunately. But then I flinch, and get defeated in the next round by a crit. A wonderful start to this Battle.

Switching in Atlas might seem like a bad Idea (and it probably is) but what else can I do-

Nononono, scrap that plan. Chocolate lowers its Attack than Paralyzes him. THEN I can start thinking about sending in Atlas

- STOP FLINCHING MY TEAM!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT, I HAVEN'T GOT A SINGLE ATTACK OF SO FAR!!!

One more hit and Chocolate is down. I have nothing good to switch into. Jesus this battle is going terrible.

I have to send in Pidgeot, then U-Turn back into Chocolate to get another Intimidate in.

- a crit, because of course. This thing isn't a pokemon. It's a killing machine. So far both Sylt and Pidgeot are down, and I only have two revives. Fml.

Switching Chocolate back in for another Intimidate.

- ok, thanks to the double Attack down Chocolate survived. I have to heal her now and hope for the best.

- he got another flinch. I'm about to throw my ds against a wall heal, then try glare again.

- Fucking Finally, Glare hit. Now I can actually do something.

I first have to heal Chocolate again, then revive Sylt and Pidgeot. The only healing item I will have left after that is one Full restore. I got a bad feeling about this.

- ok, everyone on my team is back and thanks to Paralysis the gyarados couldn't defeat Chocolate. I have to use my last healing Item already on Chocolate, then try to Screech and Crunch it to death.

- I'm sad to say that Chocolate has to die, and that I'm not able to revive her. She needs to lower Gyarados defense one more time so that Atlas can defeat it with a rock slide. I was hoping that she would be the hero of this battle, but fate had other plans.

- FUCK THAT IDEA, Paralasys hits two times in a row! Its defense is unbelievable low now! I'm switching Chocolate out for Pidgeot, I hope that she can finish it off

- Pidgeot was send in and takes a Waterfall, luckily not crit this time. I don't know if this thing has Ice fang or not, so I'm going with Fly. If it goes for any dangerous moves and she survives, it's a U-Turn into Atlas

- It had Ice fang, which could have ended really bad, but luckily Pidgeot flys killed it. He sends in Aerodactyl, so NOW I'm U-Turning into Atlas.

Actually, no. No U-turn. I feel like that thing is faster than Pidgeot. I'm switching out manually.

- good call, rock slide would have been catastrophic for Pidgeot, but Atlas takes it no problem. Now, if stone edge hits-

Aerodactyl used Rock Slide

Atlas flinched

This Battle is turning me into the Joker

- ok, now that stone edge hit Aerodactyl is down. Lance sends out his first Dragonite.

I would love to have Sylt out right now, but I'm way to scared to switch. Let's see if I can land another Stone edge.

- I CAN! ATLAS IS FASTER AND ONE SHOTS THE DRAGONITE! YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!

Out comes another Dragonite. But maybe, if I can land another Stone Edge-

- ah too bad. Stone Edge missed and the Dragonite lands a ... what was that move called in English again... an electric type Attack that paralyzes you. Shockwave. I think that's the one.

If Atlas goes down here she dies with honor. Stone Edge has no PP, so rock slide is my only other option.

- Dragonite missed a Dragon Rush! Rock slide hits and kills! Atlas you don't know how proud you are making me right now.

His Last Dragonite. Rock Slide, one more time!

- Paralasys hits, and the Dragonite lands a Dragon Rush. Atlas is still standing though, so come on! another Rock Slide!

- Second Dragon Rush defeats Atlas. No need to worry though. It's still five vs two. I'm sending in Sylt, her Aurora Beam is 4x effective!

- A crit dragon rush. Sylt goes down immediately. I'm suddenly not feeling very confident anymore.

- I send in Chocolate to lower Dragonites Attack. It's a small chance, but I hope that it's Dragon rush misses and I can Paralyze it.

- YOU KNOW BLIZZARD!?

This is going horrible. I have 3 pokemon left, and none of them can do something against this.

Help

I have to send in Ashley and hope for a Burn.

- Dragon Rush missed! Ashley lands a Critical Hit Fire Blast! It isn't burned, but it's a little spark of Hope!

I'm going for Fire Blast again

- Critical Hit Dragon Rush. Ashley is down. I have only Pidgeot and Tectra Left. This isn't going to work, is it?

I'm sending in Pidgeot.

- Lance healed his Dragonite. It used Blizzard, but because I was still in the air thanks to Fly, it missed. What now?

- Blizzard hits. Besides Tectra I have no pokemon left. Fuuuuuuck

I'm going for Rollout. The Sandstorm is still active, so maybe my ability will save me.

- Blizzard hits again and Killed Ashley.

I scurried to a Pokemon Center, protecting the exhausted and Fainted Pokemon from further Harm...

Fuck me. My team got decimated.

[outworldgay]

Shang Tsung NSFW and SFW headcanons? Por favor?? Thanks!!

Shang Tsung is not shy about the fact that he likes to be pampered. He loves getting his hair brushed, but he doesn’t let just anyone brush his hair, so if he asks you for the favor, he really likes and trusts you.

He doesn’t just collect things because they look pretty, he’s incredibly interested in the history of the realms and is very knowledgeable on the subject. He likes to show off just how cultured he is by gifting you these trinkets, impressing you with explaining the significance of each of his gifts.

He’s very possessive, but is also confident enough in himself that he doesn’t really worry about others who may try for your hand. He just doesn’t appreciate the lack of respect in others who pursue you when you are spoken for. He’ll simply shoo them away with a threat and if that doesn’t work, well you probably won’t be seeing that person again any time soon.

He values his own taste above all else. Anything worth his attention and time he considers to be precious and irreplaceable, and that includes you. He will frequently remind you that you matter above all else to him and the fact that he spoils you as much as he does is proof of that.

While he’s not necessarily gratuitous with pda, he won’t be shy about having an arm around your waist, a hand in your back pocket etc. He’ll frequently grab you by the chin to pull you in for a sweet lasting kiss. He likes for everyone to know that the two of you are together.

cw for sex under the cut

Shang Tsung is like, the definition of a pillow princess. He adores having you go down on him and isn’t shy about telling you. He’ll shower you with praise between moans while he roughly grips at your hair.

Don’t bother putting your hand over your mouth or burying your head into a pillow to muffle yourself because he will yank that hand away and he will lift your head off the pillow by your hair. He absolutely loves hearing and does not want for you to quiet yourself for any reason. If anything he definitely wouldn’t mind if someone overheard just how much he makes you howl.

At most he’ll offer you a finger(s) in your mouth to suck on. He absolutely loves the desperation on your face as you attempt to muffle yourself and end up just moaning around his digits, only for him to slowly pry your mouth open again to hear those lovely sounds.

His soul magic is capable of revitalizing him in every sense of the word so he’s definitely got stamina for days. He’ll finish a bit quickly but just as quickly be ready to go for another round. He’ll keep this up until you too sore to take it anymore.

Shang Tsung loves hearing his name come out of your mouth so he’ll frequently prompt you to say it, maybe even stopping everything until you do. He’ll ask you to tell him who the only person capable of undoing you in such a way is, expecting you to say his name over and over again in response.

More NSFT Shang Tsung hcs >>

[shockapella-sweet]

Okay so I’ve been sketching some ErronJin but instead it’s Jin with a kind of cute harajuku style while Erron has an emo kind of style. Idk if it’s too much to ask but can you come up with any NSFW and/or SFW headcanons or some imagines to draw of them? Thanks! I love your blog and take your time to answer this! No rush! ❤️❤️

Geez, it’s taken me a real one hundred years to answer this – I’m sorry for the hectic delay.

Jin may or may not snore. Not too loudly, but still audibly enough. Jin denies it, but Erron – who has been in the same bed with the guy and/or has seen him napping – insists that he does. Cue Jin demanding Erron to prove it, but the cowboy doesn’t know how to use a phone to record his snoring (or he’s not bothered enough to learn how). It’s a constant argument that’s never resolved.

Erron doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth, whereas Jin is one for treats and desserts, especially chocolate. If anything, Erron prefers vanilla-flavoured sweet stuff, but that’s about it.

Jin wears glasses when he reads. He thinks that they don’t look good on him, but Erron disagrees. He thinks it’s amazing how they bring one’s attention to his eye-colour, its refined shape, etc.

Picture it: in the morning, they are getting ready for the day and are standing in front of a bathroom mirror - Jin’s blow-drying his hair, while Erron’s putting on his eye-kohl. Couple goals.

Jin occasionally swears in Mandarin Chinese; Erron might not understand what he’s saying (he will, eventually), but he can gather from the tone and the context that they’re quite explicit. I wouldn’t be surprised if Erron was getting agitated in Liu Kang or Kung Lao’s presence, and then suddenly he blurts out a Chinese swear word-that leaves Liu-liu or Lao quite shocked.

Erron asking Jin for archery lessons is the best thing or the worst thing. Mainly the latter, because Erron can’t concentrate properly when Jin is up against him from behind, gripping and steadying his arms, his lips almost grazing against his skin as he whispers instructions to him … believe me, Erron has missed the target quite a few times as a result (poor Takeda’s bottom has suffered for it).

Imagine present!Erron and past Black Dragon!Erron fighting each other in Story Mode. Jin finds them and, at arrow-point, demands which one is the real, present-time Erron. Cue the one cowboy waxing lyrical about how he appreciates Jin’s smarts, personality, etc. The other cowboy would simply say in disbelief: “Junior, are you gonna believe this crap?”In response, Jin shoots and wounds the first Erron. When asked how he knew which was the past!Erron, the monk replies, “Because it’s not your style to be overly nice to me … also, you’re the only one who calls me ‘Junior’.”

(Slightly NSFW) I love how 99.9% of the fics I’ve read, Jin’s always the one on top, living his best “Save a horse, ride a cowboy” fantasy – wearing Erron’s hat and all – while Erron eggs him on. I’d like to think they’re comfortable as switches. Also, to be honest, that hat probably isn’t pleasant or stable enough to wear while doing the deed (but what does a vanilla cupcake like me who’s written zero smut know? X’3).

Jin’s dragon-headed staff is watching Erron. Literally. Perhaps an overprotective Raiden bewitched Jin’s staff to look after him, and to make sure that Erron doesn’t hurt him or break his heart. The gunslinger’s convinced the thing is watching him, and he gets properly paranoid that it’s even moving (which it probably is); Jin, of course, doesn’t believe it.

Two words: Shovel. Talk. The closest thing to an overprotective figure for Erron is Kotal Kahn (who at least likes Jin). On Jin’s side, Erron must face a whole hierarchy of shovel talks: Jin’s team-mates, Johnny and Sonya, Raiden, Kung Lao, and – most frighteningly of all – his parents. Elder Gods help him.

These are all the headcanons I can think of at the moment, hun. Again, I’m so sorry for making you wait my response, but I truly these made up for it. I might post some more down the line. ^3^

[mononokehunters]

I like to think Kusuriuri visits Shino (the blonde pregnant lady) and brings her something for her and her baby once in a while when he isn’t busy finding mononoke. I think it’s sweet ☺️☺️

Aww that's super cute! Maybe he'd leave her some ginger for her nausea while she was still pregnant or horse oil for her hands and diaper rash.

Less cute is he would probably want to see how her kid turned out after being exposed to the zashikiwarashi ^^;

[hxttrick-archived]

Hey Lao! How’s Kung Jin doing?? But more importantly, how are you? 🥰

“Hi Ashley! I’m kinda hot, trying to beat the heat at the moment, but I’m doing just fine. Jin– he’s been doing well too. He went to go visit his friends so I’m hoping he’s not trying to cause trouble.”

[maagspies]

More Bi-Han with a man bun please?? 👉🏼👈🏼 no rush. Take your time.

Sorry this is majorly late @fml-its-ashley ! Here's the Icy King with a man bun 👀👑

Here's a quick sketch of him growing out the undercut too. @howdypink does a waaaaaay cooler (pun intended) man bun Bi Han btw😂✌🏽

[tearsfortheyouth]

really in the need of 1994 nick goode fics fml. 

at this point, i think its time to seek therapy but why did they have to make nick and solomon SO FUCKING FINE. like damn ashley zuckerman can GET IT

[expressive-bread]

Thank you, my friend, my dear followers! You said me so many kind words and... oh, I love you. I love you all! I didn’t expect all this support. Three anons, @fea-warriorheart, @thestalkerpotato, @aizawa--shota, @hezraela, @chemicalmagecraft, @motherfucking-witch-loves-mha, @starling-magus, @nereida19, @theboogeymana, @emissary-of-stuff, @wildnya, @online-imagines-reader, @fiction-queen-blog, @iamawfulatdrawing, @mistkissedmoon, @imjustme213, @otherworldenvy, @betterthanmagicarts, @phantom-miss, @fml-its-ashley, @nammuellyll, @masterofchickenscratch, @rina-chan2000, @nothingmuch-noreally, @sir-armen - thank you!

I’ll try to start working.

[paleicelight]

In the end

@fml-its-ashley 's request

i hope at last they have each other's company in the krypt...

[juniperrnose]

TAG 9 PEOPLE YOU WANT TO GET TO KNOW BETTER

tagged by @assassiyun thank uuu 😚😚

top 3 ships:Tanya/Mileena, Nozomi/Eli, and uuuuuuuuuuhhh Tinker bell/Vidia its been my otp since childhood 😤

lipstick or chapstick:lipstick for sure. I just love tryn all colors and styles n stuff

last song listened to: Won't Bite by Doja Cat

last film watched: Birds of Prey (OMG i loved it so fucking much there was not a dull moment and it was so wild and chaotic and badass and i want harleys fashion so bad xjamxnsndnsn)

currently reading: The Witch Finders Sister by Beth Underdown (i havent finished it.. Its been sitting on my dresser for almost a year now oops i sure do owe the library money)

Tagging: @thotsene , @nika-vincent @fml-its-ashley , @flowerynameslover , @dollyread

[twilitdragoneye]

Getting to know you Better

Tagged by @fml-its-ashley I don’t often do these but let’s try it out! 

Top 3 ships:  McKirk, Superbat, and probably Gambit/Wolverine (as my most repeated there’s just too many otherwise)

Lipstick or chapstick: Lipstick, I love using bright or extremely dark unusual colours like Blue, Purple, Orange, Black, varying shades of Grey, extreme Pink...

Last song listened to: Yodel it! by Ilinca ft Alex Florea it was Romania’s entry in the 2017 Eurovision and a ton of fun! check out the video here

Last film watched: uhhhhhhh guys i think it was Cats..... 

Currently reading: well rereading Storm Warning by Mercedes Lackey, I love her fantasy world and it’s super fun that this trilogy is focuses on a guy who doesn’t necessarily have great power just great personal faith and a compassionate heart/soul which is pretty different for a fantasy novel. 

Tagging: @delektorskichick , @29goingon30 , @ittlebitz , @swpromptsandasks , @sleepymccoy , and honestly anybody else 

[mononokehunters]

I just recently got into this show!!! I love it!! Thank goodness someone is keeping it alive!!!

Hello!!! You're very welcome! And I'm so glad you're enjoying the show and the blogs! I know the fandom is really small and a lot of my silliness is totally self indulgent but I'm also glad I can share other people's amazing fan works so everyone can enjoy them!

[berniesrevolution]

FML: Why millennials are facing the scariest financial future of any generation since the Great Depression.

Huffington Post Highline

Part III

Becoming poor is not an event. It is a process.

Like a plane crash, poverty is rarely caused by one thing going wrong. Usually, it is a series of misfortunes—a job loss, then a car accident, then an eviction—that interact and compound.

I heard the most acute description of how this happens from Anirudh Krishna, a Duke University professor who has, over the last 15 years, interviewed more than 1,000 people who fell into poverty and escaped it. He started in India and Kenya, but eventually, his grad students talked him into doing the same thing in North Carolina. The mechanism, he discovered, was the same.

We often think of poverty in America as a pool, a fixed portion of the population that remains destitute for years. In fact, Krishna says, poverty is more like a lake, with streams flowing steadily in and out all the time. “The number of people in danger of becoming poor is far larger than the number of people who are actually poor,” he says.

We’re all living in a state of permanent volatility. Between 1970 and 2002, the probability that a working-age American would unexpectedly lose at least half her family income more than doubled. And the danger is particularly severe for young people. In the 1970s, when the boomers were our age, young workers had a 24 percent chance of falling below the poverty line. By the 1990s, that had risen to 37 percent. And the numbers only seem to be getting worse. From 1979 to 2014, the poverty rate among young workers with only a high school diploma more than tripled, to 22 percent. “Millennials feel like they can lose everything at any time,” Hacker says. “And, increasingly, they can.”

Here’s what that downward slide looks like. Gabriel is 19 years old and lives in a small town in Oregon. He plays the piano and, until recently, was saving up to study music at an arts college. Last summer he was working at a health supplement company. It wasn’t the most glamorous job, lugging boxes and blending ingredients, but he made $12.50 an hour and he hoped he could step up to a better position if he proved himself.

Then his sister got into a car accident, T-boned turning into their driveway. “She couldn’t walk; she couldn’t think,” Gabriel says. His mom wasn't able to take a day off without risking losing her job, so Gabriel called his boss and left a message saying he had to miss work for a day to get his sister home from the hospital.

BOOMER: 6.9%

MILLENNIAL: 2.6%

Average annual stock market returns on 401(k) plans

The next day, his temp agency called: He was fired. Though Gabriel says no one had told him, the company had a three-strikes policy for unplanned absences. He had already missed one day for a cold and another for a staph infection, so this was it. A former colleague told him that his absences meant he was unlikely to get a job there again.

So now Gabriel works at Taco Time and lives in a trailer with his mom and his sisters. Most of his paycheck goes to gas and groceries because his mom’s income is disappearing into the family’s medical bills. He still wants to go to college. But since he can barely keep his head above water, he’s set his sights on an electrician’s apprenticeship program offered by a local nonprofit. “I don’t understand why it’s so hard to do something with your life,” he tells me.

The answer is brutally simple. In an economy where wages are precarious and the safety net has been hacked into ribbons, one piece of bad luck can easily become a years-long struggle to get back to normal.

Over the last four decades, there has been a profound shift in the relationship between the government and its citizens. In The Age of Responsibility, Yascha Mounk, a political theorist, writes that before the 1980s, the idea of “responsibility” was understood as something each American owed to the people around them, a national project to keep the most vulnerable from falling below basic subsistence. Even Richard Nixon, not exactly known for lifting up the downtrodden, proposed a national welfare benefit and a version of a guaranteed income. But under Ronald Reagan and then Bill Clinton, the meaning of “responsibility” changed. It became individualized, a duty to earn the benefits your country offered you.

Since 1996, the percentage of poor families receiving cash assistance from the government has fallen from 68 percent to 23 percent. No state provides cash benefits that add up to the poverty line. Eligibility criteria have been surgically tightened, often with requirements that are counterproductive to actually escaping poverty. Take Temporary Assistance for Needy Families, which ostensibly supports poor families with children. Its predecessor (with a different acronym) had the goal of helping parents of kids under 7, usually through simple cash payments. These days, those benefits are explicitly geared toward getting mothers away from their children and into the workforce as soon as possible. A few states require women to enroll in training or start applying for jobs the day after they give birth.

The list goes on. Housing assistance, for many people the difference between losing a job and losing everything, has been slashed into oblivion. (To pick just one example, in 2014 Baltimore had 75,000 applicants for 1,500 rental vouchers.) Food stamps, the closest thing to universal benefits we have left, provide, on average, $1.40 per meal.

In what seems like some kind of perverse joke, nearly every form of welfare now available to young people is attached to traditional employment. Unemployment benefits and workers’ compensation are limited to employees. The only major expansions of welfare since 1980 have been to the Earned Income Tax Credit and the Child Tax Credit, both of which pay wages back to workers who have already collected them.

Back when we had decent jobs and strong unions, it (kind of) made sense to provide things like health care and retirement savings through employer benefits. But now, for freelancers and temps and short-term contractors—i.e., us—those benefits might as well be Monopoly money. Forty-one percent of working millennials aren’t even eligible for retirement plans through their companies.

And then there’s health care.

In 1980, 4 out of 5 employees got health insurance through their jobs. Now, just over half of them do. Millennials can stay on our parents’ plans until we turn 26. But the cohort right afterward, 26- to 34-year-olds, has the highest uninsured rate in the country and millennials—alarmingly—have more collective medical debt than the boomers. Even Obamacare, one of the few expansions of the safety net since man walked on the moon, still leaves us out in the open. Millennials who can afford to buy plans on the exchanges face premiums (next year mine will be $388 a month), deductibles ($850) and out-of-pocket limits ($5,000) that, for many young people, are too high to absorb without help. And of the events that precipitate the spiral into poverty, according to Krishna, an injury or illness is the most common trigger.

“All of us are one life event away from losing everything,” says Ashley Lauber, a bankruptcy lawyer in Seattle and an Old Millennial like me. For most of her clients under 35, she says, the slide toward bankruptcy starts with a car accident or a medical bill. “You can’t afford your deductible, so you go to Moneytree and take out a loan for a few hundred bucks. Then you miss your payments and the collectors start calling you at work, telling your boss you can’t pay. Then he gets sick of it and he fires you and it all gets worse.” For a lot of her millennial clients, Lauber says, the difference between escaping debt and going bankrupt comes down to the only safety net they have—their parents.

But this fail-safe, like all the others, isn’t equally available to everyone. The wealth gap between white and non-white families is massive. Since basically forever, almost every avenue of wealth creation—higher education, homeownership, access to credit—has been denied to minorities through discrimination both obvious and invisible. And the disparity has only grown wider since the recession. From 2007 to 2010, black families’ retirement accounts shrank by 35 percent, whereas white families, who are more likely to have other sources of money, saw their accounts grow by 9 percent.

The result is that millennials of color are even more exposed to disaster than their peers. Many white millennials have an iceberg of accumulated wealth from their parents and grandparents that they can draw on for help with tuition, rent or a place to stay during an unpaid internship. According to the Institute on Assets and Social Policy, white Americans are five times more likely to receive an inheritance than black Americans—which can be enough to make a down payment on a house or pay off student loans. By contrast, 67 percent of black families and 71 percent of Latino families don’t have enough money saved to cover three months of living expenses.

(Continue Reading)

[1uvshot]

your top 5 bbh stans/blogs on here and why?

aHH I CAN ONLY NAME 5 ARE YOU KILLING ME OR WHT fml ok these are the 5 off the top of my head but also look at my ff cuz i follow a lot of them that i love

1. @174cents anthy is really one of my bestest friends on here and she’s alwyas claiming she doesnt know a bbh but if you ever read her fucking paragraph about bbh its really the softest warmest thing ever and makes me smile a lot. also i talk to her everyday of my fucking life so idk where i would be without her and her shit tbh lol 

2. @bobohu elaiNE is my sweets even if shes always telling me to delete because of my nsfw posts lol SHE SAYS SHE DOESNT CLAIM ME BUT I CLAIM HER SO THATS VALID also elaine just has so much love for bbh and its so obvious and its so pure and i really cherish talking to her and having her in my life 

3. @byunchen even tho mel also biases ksoo she has so much love for baekhyun reading her tags makes me soft and i just love her, shes the absolute sweetest and is so kind and genuine and also just like a beautiful human being asdfa 

4. @stanbaek oK so i just started following ashley like last month adn i absolutely aDORE HER BLOG she always does little baekhyun spams that take up my whole dash and always puts a smile on my face! shes also really cute and sweet and were shy bbh-ls together lol 

5. @kaibaek-l asdf so quynh admitting she a whole kaibaek L but she really really loves baekhyun a lot i love seeing her yell over her BABYHYUN in the tags of posts asdfa also i met quynh in person and shes the funniest and PRETTIEST person ever and i just love and adore her

[syntheros-artemidos]

SECOND HALF

ashari shit time I'm hyped

"oh! not a monkey, got it"

YES ORYM ASK KIKI THESE QUESTIONS PLZ I WANT TO SEE HER SO BAD

'im a guard, or was," HUH?

"she and her friends" yas go confer with vox machina at least those still alive (I feel like Percy being wholly human would be dead by now but idk)

aabria: rolls insight. clearly rolls terribly. shrugs and plays along.

WHAT'S UP IN THE CLOUDTOP WHAT'S WRONG oh the crater right duh

opal you absolute tourist

Dorian has the braincell for the moment I see.

I still think orym sounds a lot like derrig. derrig also has one boy. (and three girls, triplets.)

planar being? huh? that's not good

IS LIL MISTER A LITERAL ELEMENTAL? THOUGHT HE WAS A FEY CREATURE? HUUUUH???

tremors, organized elementals, that weird set of elementals they encountered in c2 when they hid in the fire plane, both the scar and the crater acting up, what is going on I am incredibly concerned

are. are the betrayer gods trying something? that feels like too much for an 8-episode miniseries

bro?ther? thank you brother? what?

"you did what in the what now"

IM SO CONFUSED WHAT DID I MISS I FEEL LIKE I MISSED SOMETHING

when were they in the crater??????????? am I dumb??

random saving throws are aabria's thing this makes me incredibly nervous

oh it's an earthquake go figure

oh no what's happening weird magic in the air

NEW LANDSCAPE I UNDERSTAND THE EPISODE TITLE NOW

whyyyyyyy is it raining ash

"congratulations orym, we have volunteered for five minutes and the sky's on fire"

oh god Wis save for touching the crown oh no

"dirty one" fml dariax is gonna die

"the oh no plateau-" "INSPIRATION" god I love bards

the half goat rolled a nat 1 beautiful

why's sound weird that's funky

Dorian and Dariax are the Vex and Vax and now Liam is paying for his crimes

double D's take a point of exhaustion

ew weird air stuff no thanks I don't like this at all

"okay. noted." -things you never want to hear your dm say

this could get dicey FAST with those points of exhaustion

ASHARI SIGN LANGUAGE I AM IN LOVE WITH THE WORLDBUILDING it makes sense bc no matter what's going on you can always sign it's silent and doesn't require breath

beans. for the soup. the time soup.

"mister doesn't breathe bc misters not actually a monkey"

LIL MISTER IS EATING ASH AND TURNING PURPLE WAT

"what are we looking for?" "whatever- whatever the fuck this is?" I trust this person's judgement

MAAAAP ITS A MAAAAP

mister is no longer a monkey that's probably bad

"Kansas it's in Midwestern Tal'dorei" "noted I'll add it to the map" "...no..." "I'm sorry I'm pretty sure I'm in the captains chair now" I LOVE THIS GROUP SJFBSKFJSL

I like the idea of letting the PC choose what ability check to make in this moment that's a rlly cool way of doing that idk saying that out loud makes it sound like just asking to make a check y'all know what I mean

oh WAIT BC SHE GOT HER MAGIC YOINKED

"I'm sorry did I fucking stutter" wheeze

dariax still has black eyes. opal does not have magic. dorian pleased the Spider Queen. fearnes monkey is no longer a monkey. fun

gAAASP "YOU TOOK MY MAGIC!" "I AM your magic bitch???"

ashhole puns galore my gods

don't half these people's parents watch this show? I'm sure matt's do at least

circle of the wildfire bitches

"I know but what's the goal here" "couldn't tell you!"

I love how freely aabria gives inspiration

are we losing the party pet this early on

are we losing the druid this early on.

oh good there's a thing now that's fun bye bye little mister hello ash elemental

not a single initiative above 15. and opal is first with no magic.

it is at this point, around 12:30 at night, that I start to want to go to bed lmao hope it's not much longer

that's one hell of an interesting use of dissonant whispers I love that

yay we regain our "monkey"

Matt you asshole

NAT ONE FUCK YEAAAAAAH

aabria letting Ashley decide dariax's fate for that nat1 is absolutely beautiful

IS ORYM JUST GONNA TRIP HIM INTO THE ASHHOLE

oh that's so much worse that sounds SO PAINFUL KNIFE THROUGH THE CALF noOOOO

ah. spears gone. cool!

LMAO APOLOGIZING TO THE MONKEY I love the sibling dynamic ajdjejsks

the ashari being weird about Fearne makes me reaaaaally want keyleth to meet her

this entire interaction with little mister is so cute omfg

I am dying to get an interaction with keyleth are we getting marisha as a guest star for her I hope so

"Find someone who can explain what this is" keyleth, gilmore, allura. take your pick. plz

RUNECHILD. GILMORE. GILMORE!!!!!

FUCKING GILMORE!!! HYPE!

Gilmore's. glorious. goods. are they gonna make matt do the voice. do we get to hear aabria attempt the voice. what's gonna happen.

AND THERE WE HAVE IT

we get Gilmore and keyleth. this is so indulgent I'm so excited

thoughts about ep 2

MATT HAS GLITTER IN HIS BEARD SIR YOULL NEVER GET RID OF THAT WHY

aww Omar all comfy

wow aabria's earrings are cute as fuck

GOD THAT INTRO IS BEAUTIFUL

"did we leave the baby in the prison" thanks ashley

"well how would you feel if you were a baby left in prison"

you're all going to die to an ankheg. you're going to free it and it's going to kill you.

orym, voice of reason as always.

fearne letting an ankheg loose in the middle of emon would be terrible honey no

oh they're being hella watched

yeah sure ghost the criminal who's got hella eyes on you good idea opal

y'all realize she's gonna track y'all across the continent right?

DEX SAVING THROW? HUH?

LIAM WAS KIDDING BUT HE WAS RIGHT DAMN

"hey! over this way! free shit!"

cannot believe that worked worked

JESUS FUCK LIAM out there with them vax stealth rolls, 23 at lvl 2

hot ppl casting charm person I'm sure this'll go well

they're so stupid I love them

ROBBIE WHY THIS MIGHT HAVE WORKED-

Dorian is fighting this dude and opal is just CMERE LEMME TELL U SMFH

"does a 16 hit?" yeeees :(

"oh no no no it's good it's a bad roll" mood

"I didn't get the memo to not go for lethal SO"

YESS ASHLEY I LOVE USING ENTANGLE

not so much when it entangles the rest of your party

opal is taking this nameless one on a date I love her AAAND SHES TYING HIM UP

does aabria have the snitch is that what she just said?

"Arthur" is apparently into bondage

and exhibitionism

aaaand ELDRITCH BLAAAAAST

"don't look at him! you look at me"

ONWARD TO PYRAH

"it's no gentrified townhouse"

was wondering how long it would take for them to bring suude up.

and dariax is immediately trying to do drugs beautiful

"it's not drugs yet" "they feel cleaner, but they also feel like they're uh, becoming a liquid..."

"Whitestone: is it drugs yet?" Percy would approve I think

fearne is chaotic neutral I love her

SKITTERING??? IN HIS STOMACH??? BRB BARFING

"what's your alignment?" "chaotic neutral" "nah u good"

"eeeigh I don't see a lot of good things that look like.... that..."

orym is the moral backbone of this party this is fascinating

NOOOOO BIG ASS SPIDER superfuck that

of course it's a betrayer god go figure

I FUCKING KNEW IT WAS A FUCKING VESTIGE GOD

KEYLETH OF THE AIR ASHARI LIAM O'BRIEN I LOVE YOU GODS IM SO HAPPY

honestly keyleth would probably know what to do with another vestige idk I trust her judgement go see the ashari

....keyleth could plane shift them to the feywild.... I'm just saying.... oh my god artagan tho whaT IF FEARNE IS RELATED TO ARTAGAN???

"the grapes are fuUUCked"

what's up with fearnes memory what

time is a weird soup and her hooves are made for walking. yeah. okay.

where's poska going.

is she... patrolling and waiting on them? is that what's happening? shes persistent damn

Cha save? why? oh boy warlock stuff?

oh boy warlock stuff

this is the most entertaining warlock dream I've ever seen

"roll for lucid dreaming"

"literally I made this bitch magic and she's telling me to leave"

oh creepy spider queen lullabies no thanks

"something is well pleased by your playing" EW

okay more after the break I'll reblog

[its-stranger-than-you-think]

I was tagged by the Queens: @not-reddie and @its-reddie-bitch

1. last drink?: Idk man, I haven’t had anything to drink since yesterday morning I believe lmfaooooo

2: last phone call?: My best friend

3. last text message?: “hey hoe, what up?”

4. last song you listened to?: Visions of Gideon by Sufjan Stevens

5. last time you cried?: Like two days ago because of a fanfic I read 😭

6. dated someone twice?: haven’t officially dated anyone once so nah

7. kissed someone and regretted it: nope

8. been cheated on?: again, never dated anyone so nope, but idk why they would EVER because I’m a goddamn catch 🤷🏼‍♀️

9. lost someone special?: too many to count

10. been depressed?: been??

11. gotten drunk and thrown up?: you mean that one time I drank half of a big ass bottle of vodka by myself even though I’m a fuckin lightweight? Then yes

fave colors

12. Lavender

13. The orangy-yellow color of a sunset/sunrise

14. Forest green

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends?: Tons! A lot of them I’ve gotten to know on here and they’re all so nice and beautiful and I love them

16. fallen out of love?: that’s assuming I actually have a heart that’s capable of love in the first place... lol kidding... or am I?

17. laughed until you cried?: literally every time I talk to my best friend Ashley

18. found out someone was talking about you?: HAHA YES FUCK THOSE FAKE ASS BITCHES

19. met someone who changed you?: oh, for sure

20. found out who your friends are?: my dog and my best friend :)

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list?: Facebook who?

general:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl?: again, Facebook who?

23. do you have any pets?: my dog Gracie. What an angel ❤️

24. do you want to change your name?: yes, i hate my name

25. what did you do for your last birthday?: I have no idea, I can’t remember

26. what time did you wake up today?: 5:30. My ass never sleeps

27. what were you doing at midnight last night?: listening to music

28. what is something that you can’t wait for?: MY LIFE TO FINALLY GET ITSELF TOGETHER! IT’S LONG OVERDUE

30. what are you listening to right now?: Doves In The Wind by SZA. Literally a song about pussy; it’s fucking fantastic. HIGHLY SUGGEST

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom?: probably, idek,

32. something getting on your nerves?: Everything is, but what’s new?

33. most visited website?: AO3, Tumblr and Twitter

34. hair color?: really dirty blonde

35. long or short hair: long

36. do you have a crush on someone?: nah

37. what do you like about yourself?: I like that I can understand people. I’m a very good listener, so if y’all need anyone to talk to, I’m your girl. I’m also very loyal.

38. want any piercings: I only have a single piercing on my ear and I had my nose pierced at one point, but I definitely want my nipples, bellybutton, cartilage and a lot more

39. blood type: I think I’m O neg but I’m not sure

40. nicknames: my name is Courtney, so people like to call me Short Court because everyone thinks it’s so hilarious to make fun of me for being short. Fuckers.

41. relationship status: single

42. zodiac: Taurus

43. pronouns: she // her

44. fave tv show: I don’t watch a ton of tv, but Stranger Things (obvi), Jane the Virgin, New Girl, How To Get Away With Murder, etc

45. tattoos: Me and my best friend wanna get matching ones so hopefully soon

46. right or left handed: right

47. ever had surgery: I had to get cataracts removed as an infant so yep

48 . piercings: one on my ear and I used to have my nose pierced

49. sport: I don’t play anything because I’m an uncoordinated little shit but figure skating, dancing and gymnastics are so cool

50. vacation: I went to the U.K., France and Spain two years ago and it was the best time of my life. I would love to go back.

51. trainers: my converse or my Air Force 1s 🔥🔥

more general

52. eating: I HAVE NOT ATE SINCE YESTERDAY I AM STARVING

53. drinking: nothing

54. im about to watch: nothing

55. waiting for: some fucking food

56. want: to be with my best friend but she lives like 5 states away fml :(

57. get married? I mean it would really depend on the person obviously

58. career: I’m studying nursing but idk if it’s the thang for me, we shall see

59. hugs or kisses: Why not both? I need love

60. lips or eyes: eyes for sure. eyes are so expressive and gorgeous

61. shorter or taller: taller since I’m so short

62. older or younger: older

63. nice arms or stomach: Honey, i can have both

64. hookup or relationship: depends

65. troublemaker or hesitant: usually hesitant, but I have my moments

66. kissed a stranger: no but that sounds fun tbh

67. drank hard liquor: I have but I get super fucked up so yeah not again

68. lost glasses: my eyesight is SHIT so when I was younger I had really thick glasses that magnified my eyes so fucking much and I hated them so I would “lose” them all the time and I ran around blind until my mom got me contacts

69. turned someone down: ha, yes

70. sex on the first date: yeah dude why not let my slutty self free?

71. broken someones heart: not that I know of

72. had your heart broken: I’m surprised it’s still beating if that tells you something

73. been arrested: no, but I almost have

74. cried when someone died: uh yeah? Who wouldn’t?

75. fallen for a friend: a few times

do you believe in…

76. yourself: I’m trying, I really am

77. miracles: not really

78. love at first sight: I may be a sap, but no

79. santa clause: fuck no, if I ever saw an old, ugly, fat, white man crawl through a dusty ass chimney I would beat his ass with a chair

80. kiss on a first date: hell yeah

81. angels: I think there are people who watch over you; whether they’re “righteous” or not is up for debate

82. best friend’s name: Ashley 💖

83. eye color: my eyes are two different colors, so my left is a bright blue and my right is darkish green

84. fave movie: THE LION KING

85. fave actor: can it be an actress?? Cause Viola Davis is incredible

I TAG: I have no idea who to tag lmfaooo but

@hypochondriac-and-a-trashmouth @ew-its-tozier @ashyfluff-lessthan3 @sunflowerstozier @bubbleteasophiee @sarcastic-pumpkin