#flying under the radar as much as possible

[lennythereviewer]

Hey remember when Tumblr banned porn and everyone fled to Twitter and the internet by and large became that much more insufferable? Yeah well, we’re about to get the sequel no one’s been waiting for

A recent lawsuit is calling into question the very law that makes user-generated content possible on the internet and it’s going before a bunch of old people who have no idea how the internet works. If Section 230 gets repealed or modified, the internet as we know it will radically change forever. Content policing will be that much worse; and either the guidelines will be so restrictive it’ll squeeze the life out of their sites, or sites will close their doors all together by not being able to meet the moderation demand and not wanting to risk being liable. 

Unlike SOPA way back in the day, this one is quietly flying under everyone’s radar so there’s no big pushback like last time, so there is a very real possibility this goes down in the worst way possible. So Yeah Ya’ll may want to start saving your favorite content if you feel it’s going to go bye-bye

[tlou-reid]

Finishing Gifts ❤︎ Aaron Hotchner

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸 READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.

♡ SUMMARY: after a few days of ignoring him, Aaron makes an effort to get your behavior to return to normal

♡ WARNINGS: 18+ MDNI, smut, female and male masturbation, phone sex, mentions of watching porn, sex toys, drinking, small mentions of criminal minds-esque themes and violence, pretty much porn with very little plot, this is not edited like at all

♡ NOTE: something about writing aaron masturbating makes me go brrrrrr

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

You had thought you were keeping your cool. Honestly, truly, you had thought no one would notice the small changes in your behavior. You had tried to be subtle in dodging Hotch, doing it slowly and over time. It had started with piggybacking Spencer’s theories in the field, which led to pushing to go look at a crime scene rather than to the police department with Hotch. Then evolved into getting deep into conversation with JJ as you approached the jet, using it as an excuse to claim a seat next to her rather than your normal position between Hotch and the window.

These acts had gone unnoticed, or, at least, you’d thought. In your determination to avoid them, you hadn’t noticed the strange looks Derek and Morgan had thrown each other, and then Aaron, as you relaxed next to JJ. You missed Garcia questioning what had been up with you as you extended your time making coffee before a briefing, just so you didn’t have to walk behind Hotch into the room.

But, your latest change to avoid your unit chief definitely didn’t fly under the radar. This one was loud and clear, and absolutely threw off the entire BAU.

You’d just completed, by all possible metrics, a very successful case. It was a rare one, looking at terrorism in the DC area. A group of people who were planting explosives around the city, in unsuspecting areas. Instead of targeting political buildings or memorials, they focused on smaller-scale destruction. The team had been able to put the perpetrators away with no more casualties than those that were gone before the team landed. All in all, it was incredibly stressful, but a win for the team.

So, after Emily’s suggestion and Derek’s reminder that it was an extended weekend due to a government holiday, the team was getting ready to head to the bar. You had begged to go home to shower, promising you’d take an Uber (so you could, in Penelope’s words, “get fucked up with the girls”) and meet them at the bar in about an hour.

You put on your best outfit, showing an appropriate amount of cleavage, and did your makeup to the best of your abilities. After you’d cleaned up, you went to open your Uber app, excited to have a night to relax.

However, you were cut off when a phone call overtook your screen. “Aaron” the contact name read, indicating it was your unit chief, and that he was calling from his personal cellphone. You let ring a few times before picking up, not wanting to seem too eager to talk to your boss.

“Hellooo,” you practically sung into the phone, too excited to be worried about embarrassing yourself in front of him. He simply replied with a formal “hello,” followed by your name. “Please don’t tell me you’re ruining my longggg weekend,” You said to him, and he swore he could hear some of jewelry shaking. You couldn’t keep your excitement in, shaking your wrists, which made your bracelets make noise.

He chuckled a bit at your reaction to him calling, “No, no. I was just calling to see if you had left yet.” You smiled against the phone, knowing where this conversation was going. “Nope! I was actually ordering my Uber when you called,” you informed him. “So, you haven’t ordered it?” He questioned again, to which you replied with a “uh-uh”.

You couldn’t tell but your excitement about going out with your friends was essentially oozing through the phone, causing Aaron to maintain a bright smile on his face. You weren’t aware of how your vibe, your energy, was able to lift a weight off of Aaron’s shoulders that had been there for as long as he could remember.

“I also had to run home before meeting the team. If you’d like, I can pick you up.” Your smile, somehow, grew even bigger. Any excuse to see Aaron was a good one, you’d thought.

However, your face quickly fell when you reminded yourself that you were supposed to be avoiding him. You felt a pang in your heart as you said, “Thanks, but I have a few things to finish up here! I appreciate the offer, Hotch.”

With a quick, formal goodbye, the called ended. Aaron tried to ignore the fact that you lied to him as he drove the rest of the way. You had said you were about to call your Uber, and he heard your jewelry, meaning you were putting the finishing touches on your outfit. So why wouldn’t you accept his ride?

He tried to ignore the blow to his chest when you called him Hotch. Something about the use of his last name made him feel as if he’d done something wrong. Not that it was unusual for you, or anyone really, to call him that. It was the emphasis you’d put on it. As if you were trying to make it known he was Hotch and not Aaron.

Aaron tried to turn off his profiling ability, but it was proving to be had as all of his thoughts were currently encompassed by you.

The night, and the whole weekend if you were being honest, went by in a blur. You could tell Aaron had noticed the change in your behavior. You were standoffish at the bar, pretty much avoiding any conversation with him. You just hoped by the end of the long weekend it would be forgotten, and you’d be able to continue work as normal.

This dream was quickly demolished as Aaron was summoning you into his office before you had the chance to even put your bag down and unpack your files.

The sound of calling your last name both frightened and intrigued you. You couldn’t help but be attracted to the authority in his voice, even if it could mean you were going to be in trouble.

As you stepped into the voice, Aaron didn’t even look up. He mumbled a “shut the door, please,” as he finished recording some notes on an opened file in front of him. You stood awkwardly by the door, waiting for some kind instruction or reasoning from him.

“Please,” he gestured to the seats in front of his desk. You nodded, clumsily making your way to them. “I didn’t mean to scare you or make you uncomfortable by calling you in here,” he began.

You weren’t sure if you were more scared by being called into his office, to have a conversation that required you to both sit down and shut the door, or the intense eye contact he was maintaining as he introduced whatever discussion you two were about to have.

“I just couldn’t help but notice,” he paused for a second, trying to find the right words to say, “a recent change in your behavior.” You hoped he didn’t notice the way your eyes went wide, knowing you’d been caught. You didn’t have to ask what he was talking about to know you’d been caught, but you did anyway, “What do you mean?” You thought you were playing your part well, furrowing your eyebrows to truly emphasis your fake confusion.

“It feels as though you’ve been avoiding me.” Aaron says. His tone isn’t angry or even authoritative, but rather, disappointed. There’s a slight huff in the way he spoke. He didn’t give you a chance to defend yourself before he continued, “Which is fine if you so choose to do so. I would just like to know if it was because of something I did and if I could fix it. I want the team to function as well as it can, and I feel as though it would not if there was conflict between you and I.”

Aaron had to find a professional spin to throw his statement, knowing the professionalism of this situation was debatable at best. “Oh, sir,” you blushed, not really knowing what to say, “I don’t believe there is any conflict between us.” Your voice was formal, too formal. It was obvious you were under pressure. “So, what is it then?” He questioned.

You could feel yourself growing small under his intense stare. You could also feel the wet patch growing between your legs, making you slightly uncomfortable.

“You, uh, you kind of make nervous.” With your quiet voice and stutter, and the way your thighs squeezed together, it was easy for Aaron to pick up on the reason he made you nervous. His cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink instantaneously. “Oh,” his voice trailed off, followed by your quiet, “yeah.”

There was a few beats of silence before he cleared his throat. “Well, I’m glad to hear there’s no issues between us.” You nodded with his words, growing even more nervous. Your mouth was moving before your brain could catch up, “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to, it’s just been a minute since I’ve, ya know, and I know you’re boss but I will be completely professional and this will not effect my work in or out of the field.”

While you mean to be assuring your boss that your attraction to him was no detriment to your work, you just admitted that it’s been a minute since you’ve had an orgasm. You needed to end this conversation quickly.

“If that’s all,” You said as you stood, “I have a few more reports to finish.” Aaron simply nodded, dismissing you back into the bullpen. You made a break for the bathroom, hoping to have a few minutes to collect yourself before facing the race of the team. You felt exposed, knowing you were entering a room of profilers after since a painful experience. You needed some time alone.

After a mini-breakdown, and cleaning up your messed up mascara, you made your way to your desk. Calm and collected. That’s all you had to be. Calm and collected.

Serial killers and other criminals had quieted down for the week, in an unlikely turn of events. You’d only had to travel for one day, quickly solving a kidnapping case and the finding the perpetrator. The week flew by swimmingly. Nothing odd had happened.

Until you opened your door Saturday morning.

You hadn’t ordered anything, that much you were sure of. Even if you did, you tended to shop at places with bright packaging that made you feel like you were opening a gift when it was delivered. This unsuspecting, plain box was not here on your accord, yet it had your name and address on it.

The FBI agent side of you flipped into protection mode, racing to grab your phone and dial up the one person you knew that could tell you what to do if there happened to be a bomb inside of the box. Derek Morgan. “Pretty girl, why are you facetiming me at 8:27am on a Saturday?” He teased with a smile on his face. No matter what time it was, Derek was ready to listen.

“I got this box and I don’t know what it is. I just want someone to be around when I open it.” You informed him, sitting down next to the box. You should probably be standing, just in case you had to make a run for it but you were too worried about getting it open to think that far ahead.

“Alright,” He said, urging you to open it. You nodded to him, setting up the phone so he could you see and the box in the frame. You carefully tore off the tape, and let out a sigh of relief when nothing happened when it moved. You lifted the flaps slowly, taking a loud gasp when you saw it was. You hoped Derek didn’t see, and moved quickly to pick up your phone to hang up before he could.

“It’s not a bomb! I’m good, thanks Derek!” You rushed, hanging up before he could say anything. Your eyes didn’t leave the box as you let your arms fall to your sides. Sitting inside of it was a small, pink rose toy. A vibrator. That you definitely didn’t order.

You grabbed the box, hoping none of your neighbors saw it. It’s not that masturbation was wrong or immoral or that you didn’t partake, it was just weird if the people around you were aware of your toys.

So, you made sure your door was tightly closed before putting the box on the table and digging through it. There was all the normal things, the vibrator itself, large bubble wrap, and a paper receipt with the name of the product: Intimately GG Rose Suction Simulator from Pink Cherry.

However, there was another piece of paper at the bottom of the box. It was a typed note that read, “I hope this helps us go back to normal. A.H”. You knew exactly one person with the initials A.H. so it wasn’t rocket science to figure out who had ordered you this sex toy.

You weren’t sure if you were more turned on or embarrassed.

Aaron was your boss. Your kind, protective, strong, hot, sexy, boss. But still your boss. You wondered if this is something he would’ve done for someone like Emily or Penelope if they’d been in your predicament. It clicked quickly that it definitely wasn’t, and that made you special in Aaron Hotchner’s eyes.

So, you made a mental note to give him a call, after you tried out your toy. Luckily, you had your cleaning solution and an old bottle of lube from your past encounters. You made quick work of getting the toy clean and finding a video to help you get yourself off.

Of course, the man in the video was a white man who was bit older, with broad shoulders and black hair. No coincidence there.

You started with your boobs, taking time to massage each one before pulling on and pinching them to get yourself warmed up. Between the sounds coming from the video and the excitement of finally having time to yourself, your hands didn’t take long to move downwards, tracing along the length of your body. One hand continued caressing your side as the other made its way to your core.

The thought of Aaron going out of his way to help you get off and the visual of a man who looked similar to him getting his dick sucked had you borderline dripping on your bedsheets as you used your hand to start toying with your clit. You started with small circles, matching the speed of the girl sucking Aaron’s lookalike’s dick.

You stayed like this for a while, allowing yourself to go slow, really take your time pleasuring yourself. The guy in the video had already finished on the girl’s tits by the time you reached for your rose toy. You didn’t need the visual anymore, perfectly crafting dirty scenarios of your unit chief in your head.

You started on low. There was gentle sucking on your clit as you imagined the way Aaron would kiss. He’s experienced, you know that for sure. You could imagine the way he’d start gentle, maybe even cupping your face as he pulled you close. He’d let you feel like you were in charge, before his tongue made its way inside your mouth. His dominant side would take over, using his body to press you against whatever surface you were sat on.

As you fantasized about his dominant side, you cranked up the toy to the next level. You let out a loud moan at the new feeling. Your free hand moved back to your breast, squeezing, while you did your best to imagine Aaron’s large hands doing it instead.

You could feel the coil in your tummy getting tighter and tighter as you imagined Aaron slowly stripping your body, dragging his hand along each and every curve. With a sharp pinch to your nipple and a cry of Aaron’s name, you came undone all over your rose toy.

You could feel your slick dripping down your hand as you worked yourself through your orgasm, making sure to enjoy it for as long as you could. You wished you could savor this feeling. It was the strongest, best orgasm you’d ever had. Nothing could compare to the euphoria you felt right now.

You flicked the toy off and sat it to the side once the feeling became too much. You couldn’t bring yourself to move from your position. “Fuck,” you breathed out, trying to relax the hard rise and fall of your chest.

Once you were able to relax, you made your way to the shower. You knew you had to call Aaron, but you needed to be much more relaxed than you were right now to have that conversation. The sting from the hot water helped ground you, allowing you to clear your mind. After you cleaned yourself, you cleaned the toy and put everything in your nightstand drawer for future use.

Then, you reached for your cellphone. You quickly found Aaron’s personal number and hit the call button before you could overthink what you were doing. He picked up on the second ring. “Hotchner,” he said, probably out of habit. “Hello, Aaron,” you smiled. This is the conversation you’d had with him in a while that didn’t make you feel nervous. “Hello,” he echoed with your name. You didn’t know, but he was smirking on the other side of the phone. He’d been waiting for this call.

“You sent me a gift?” You asked. “I did. Have you received it?” He wasn’t sure what grew more, his smirk or his cock. “I have. I’ve opened it and took it for a test run as well.” The way you two were beating around the bush was a turn on, but the way he sounded so self-assured, as if he knew what you were going to say, had you clenching your thighs together.

“How did it perform?” Aaron questioned, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table in front of him. This tightened the dress pants he was wearing against his hardened cock. “Very well,” You smiled. “I’m happy to hear that. I hope this is the end of all of your weird behavior.” Aaron chuckles. Just the sound of his laugh has you reaching your hand to squeeze the fat of your thighs.

“What weird behavior, Aaron?” You questioned, teasingly. This conversation is very different than any you’d had before, and it was turning you. You didn’t think it was possible with the strong orgasm you’d maybe an hour ago. But, Aaron was a special individual. He had that effect on you.

“You were avoiding me,” He scoffed. “I don’t know if I was. I think it was self-control,” You smiled, knowing you were baiting him. Without missing a beat, he took the bait, “And why did you need to practice self-control?”

Aaron leaned back in his chair, opting to press his hand against his cock instead of using the soft fabric to provide some kind of friction. He needed more, that much he knew.

“Because I was trying not to jump your bones, Aaron.” You breathed out. Your words had him squeezing his bulge, feeling like he could bust just from knowing you were attracted to him. “Fuck,” Aaron groaned into the phone. You giggled at his reaction, moving to press your hand against your core, again.

“Tell me about your toy,” He demanded, finally using the authoritarian tone that helped you get into this situation in the first time. “So you can touch yourself while I do?” You questioned, assuming he was in the same position as you. “Is that okay?” He questioned. “Of course it is, Aaron.” You promised, and used your permission as an excuse to unbutton his pants, and shove his hand under the waistband of his boxers.

As you started talking, he spread the precum, that’s been oozing from his pretty pink tip since he saw your contact name, along the length of his dick. “It was so good, Aaron. That was the best orgasm I’ve ever had.”

“Yeah?” Aaron encouraged you to keep going as he started stroking his cock. “Yeah,” You whined out, “I wish you could’ve seen me. My legs were shaking and I was leaking so much.” You smirked as you heard him groan in to the phone. His strokes had quickened in length. All he could picture was you spread out on his bed, cumming around his cock.

“What did you think about while you came?” You were surprised he was able to get the question out, especially because he only stuttered once. You wished you could see the way he squeezed his eyes together as he tugged on his cock. “You, obviously. I was thinking about your lips and your hands. I finished before I could get to the good part. I wanted to picture you fucking me from behind, pressing my face into the mattress.”

You were going to continue describing your fantasy to him, but he cut you off with a “Fuck!” as he came down his hands.

The line was silent for a few minutes before you spoke, “Hey, Aaron?” He hummed out a “yeah?”, before you asked, “Do you want to come over?”

“Give me ten minutes,” He promised, “and have the toy out.”

Well, you couldn’t refuse that.

[snazzydwarf]

(This was written in July oh dear-)

You know how in a lot of fics a de-aged Danny winds up in Gotham either via Clockwork putting him there, or Danny goes through a portal (either through his own volition or not) and ends up being taken in by one of the bats?

Okay that, but what if he was never picked up and ends up falling through the cracks and becoming one of the many homeless children wandering Gotham's streets, but unlike all the other street kids who know when to keep their head down Danny just doesn't have those fear receptors... like at all- It's almost scary with how the kid manages to just not give a single flying fuck about what is going on.

So after a while of wandering the streets and getting acquainted with the Gotham's inhabitants everyone slowly get's used to the kid wandering around, dropping their guard and greeting him with smiles when he toddles around the corner, looking for his next meal or piece of scrap clothing.

Perhaps it's this show of trust they begin to notice the strangeness that hangs around him like a cloud. The shifting coloured eyes, the coldness in his skin that never seems to go away no matter how much clothing the kid gets bundled in.

The fact that no one knows where he goes once they take their eyes on him? Spooky to say the least, but they're Gothamites! One shady, possibly meta, kid ain't gonna change anything.

So he becomes a staple in everyone's lives, and eventually learned his name is Danny. He talks about having an older sister called Jazz, two best friends and a puppy he named Cujo. (who let their kids watch Cujo???) They also learned he had an innate fear of The Bats, whenever one swept into the streets during their nightly patrol he would just... disappear. He became unfindable and wouldn't appear until the next day.

At first they thought it was him finding a safe place to sleep while the night rolled around and the Rouges came out to play, but that assumption was quickly squashed when he was caught wailing on one of the Jokers henchmen. The white makeup couldn't even cover up the black and blue bruises that covered his face.

It was comical, if not a bit frightening to see this small child practically a baby sitting upon a knocked out, grown ass man. His little stubby legs dangling off the side of his body, too small to even reach the ground.

Of course nothing stays under the Bats radar for long so he end up eventually getting spotted. However none of the Bats where expecting such resistance from the civilians when they offered to take the kid.

Now whenever the little tyke is bumbling around and a Bat (or any other vigilante associated with them) is in the area, it's all hands on deck to distract Danny and get him somewhere else.

[princessbrunette]

john b has a staring problem. its not often his mind isn’t racing to disgusting territories, but he’s got the most innocent face — and plus he’s the best at controlling his impulses, so you’d never know.

he was your friend, so he shouldn’t be having these thoughts about you. however — he was so handsome that you both knew he’d get away with it. it was a morbid thought, but you’d always told him that if he was a serial killer he’d be the type to fly under the radar merely due to his prince like appearance. john b took that as flirting. john b took that as you’d let him fold you like a pretzel. luckily for you he wasn’t a serial killer. the only thing john b wanted to kill was your ability to sit down for a couple of days.

he couldn’t help the staring, not when you looked like that — when you looked at him like that. everytime you’d gaze up at him through your lashes, giving him the doe eyes his lip would curl up and his eyes would glaze over just a little bit — thinking about whether or not you’d give him that same look if you were to sink down to your knees, eager to suck him off.

he’d always considered himself a lover boy, and he was — these feelings going way deeper than just sexual. that being said, everytime your brow would crinkle in stress he’d furrow his own brows sympathetically. not because he was a total empath, but because he knew the solution was so simple — being to let him hold your legs open and rub your little clit in circles until you forget your own name.

you were sweet by nature, it was why he liked you — but that didn’t mean you couldn’t hold your own. on grumpier days, you’d have a little attitude — and truthfully he’d love it, grinning happily to himself because it gave him permission to fantasise about stuffing his thick fingers down your throat, cooing in your ear about how it’s ‘not nice to talk to daddy like that, okay pup?’ until your attitude vanishes.

he didn’t want to objectify you completely, no — like mentioned, you were his friend. he respected you. but at the end of the day, he’s a guy — a guy who just can’t help but notice the way your tits bounce a little in your shirt when you pull yourself closer to the table at the chateau by the chair. he doesn’t feel too bad about gawking, he’s pretty sure everyone notices — even jj has the audacity to let his eyes linger on your chest without your knowledge, which makes john b ball up his fist. instead of staying with the irritation — he loses himself to a fantasy. a question of whether you could bounce on his cock, making your tits move just like that. he questioned whether you could take his cock at all, self aware of the obscene size of it. he adjusts himself at the table at the thought of you mewling at being split open, begging him to make it fit.

for john b, the best part of thinking was the assurance that there was no way for anyone around you to know what was going on inside your head. a peaceful escape for him to drop the gentleman act and be as nasty as he wanted.

you had noticed the staring problem though, and would often ask “what you lookin’ at john b?” with that cute little smile — to which he’d always respond — “oh nothing. juuuust thinking.” in that deep croony voice that brought you so much comfort. his answer was technically the truth. he was just thinking, thinking about all the possibilities your pretty body had to offer.

[shy-writer-999]

Surrender: Ace cries at night and you comfort him

A/N: This is angst that turns into lovey-dovey stuff. SFW. CW for self-loathing (on Ace's side). ~1,250 words. (´ω｀*)

Surrender: Ace cries at night while you comfort him

Sometimes Ace engages with the deep pit of loneliness and self-loathing that festers inside of him. He tries to avoid it as much as he can, but that part of him can only be ignored for so long until it demands to be heard. In the visceral moments of reconciliation with that neglected part of himself, Ace has to surrender. He has to allow himself to feel and accept the open wounds still gaping inside of him—the wounds in his heart, in his core, in that pit of despair and unimaginable solitude.

There are certain memories of hurt and trauma in your past that you can never forget. Even if these moments are from decades ago, they can sting and haunt you just the same. They flash into the mind, unprompted, intrusive, glaring, and horrible. On a good day, those memories fly under the radar for Ace. They don’t get in the way of how intensely and relentlessly he loves people, nor do they obstruct the happiness he feels in the small moments of joy that every day brings.

When the memories finally surface, when they refuse to go away, not only does Ace have to surrender, but more often than not, he breaks. These days, it’s rare. To be clear, Ace is not broken; the sheer weight of the hurt that he quietly suffers can just get to him. It’s like a watershed—the second that he has to surrender, his repressed emotions and memories detonate like a bomb in his heart. Surrendering to the pain, surrendering to that festering pit, sometimes looks like curling up in fetal position and sobbing for however long he needs; historically, it’s been anywhere from 10 minutes to a couple of hours. Other times that he breaks he is despondent all day—he shuts down, and though there are no tears, the pain is just as torturous.

Since you had started seeing Ace and regularly sharing a bed with him, you had yet to witness one of these moments of surrender. Ace was a force to be reckoned with. He was strong, formidable, talented, and terrifying, yet at the same time he was charming, polite, and astonishingly kind. You had a baseline understanding of what he’d been through in his life and who he was, so you understood that he held pain in his heart. But understanding that fact was different than witnessing that pain in real time.

When you woke up to Ace crying next to you, his back was turned away from you. You realized that he was sobbing as quietly as he could. You could hear the sound of his breath hitching in between the waves of anguish and tears. He was trying to hold as still as he could, be as quiet and as small as possible, so he wouldn’t wake you up. He preferred to suffer these moments of anguish alone—he didn’t want to be a burden on anyone. He shouldered too much, far more than any one person should or could deal with. As the shuddering sobs wracked his body, his heart and core twisted. The watershed of grief had started, and it wouldn’t stop until it all came out.

When you watch someone that you love sob like that, it breaks something in you, too.

For someone to be so vulnerable, so sincere, showing you a part of themselves that they keep locked away… it is nothing to take lightly. Having the privilege of being close to someone like this is precious. It is invaluable. To be trusted completely and without refrain, to be recognized for who you are and to recognize someone for who they are, completely, through thick and thin… this is what love is about.

You stirred and Ace held his breath, worried that he had disturbed your sleep with his break down. No matter how still or soundless he tried to be, the hot tears streaming from his eyes refused to stop.

You shifted, facing his back and scooting closer so you were spooning him. Ace tried to slow down his gasps for air to feign like he had been asleep.

Not only was he worried about being a burden, but he was worried that you would look at his pain and refuse to recognize it—that you would scorn him. As he tried (and failed) to self-regulate, he felt you lean forward to kiss the back of his head. You threw an arm over him, holding him, letting him know that he was cherished here. You nuzzled into his neck and felt his body alongside yours.

“I’m here, Ace. And you are safe.” You spoke gently into the back of his neck.

Upon hearing your recognition and reassurance, Ace fully yielded to the explosion of emotions assailing him—he let himself feel the hatred for himself and for others, let himself feel the suffocating loneliness of his solitude and isolation, let himself feel the desperate need to be loved and assured constantly. He surrendered.

Ace sobbed for a long time. The safety he discovered while you comforted him was beyond anything he knew. Your love radiated on the pit of sadness and despair, managing to lift Ace out of what felt like a molten, toxic, and boiling lake of self-hatred and sorrow.

While he cried, you kissed his neck, shoulder, and the back of his head softly. You held him. You asked for nothing from Ace. You didn’t come from a place of wanting to “fix” him or to figure out exactly what he was upset about—you were there because you profoundly, truly, ardently loved him. You were safe, you understood, you did not judge. He could grieve as much as he needed to and you would be there, always.

When his breath slowed and the tears stopped rolling down his cheeks, Ace felt calm, clear headed. He turned over to face you, getting so close that your foreheads were almost touching. His cheeks were soaked with tears, his eyes were red, and his hair was a mess. He took one of your hands tenderly and entwined his fingers with yours. He spoke three words, his voice hushed and hoarse.

“I love you.”

Ace kissed your forehead softly, his lips still wet from the paths forged by tears down his skin; he peppered the rest of your face with soft, damp kisses. He couldn’t put into words how grateful he was for you or how significant and impactful your care was to him. He didn’t say anything because he knew that you were already aware. This moment didn’t need words.

You fell asleep nestled together, hands held. The love you felt for Ace and the love he felt for you was the same—it was a peaceful acceptance, an attunement, a harmony, and a burning flame.

After this night, anytime Ace felt like he was going under, like he was about to be swallowed by that excruciating weight on his shoulder, he knew that he could find solace in you. You were an anchor for him, as he was for you. You recognized all parts of him and loved each one; he told you about all of the mistakes he had made, the people he had wronged, the regretful and hurtful memories simmering, and you told him that every mistake he ever made led him here—you both agreed that you’d never have it any other way.

(◕︿◕✿) (>_<) ૮ ˙ ﻌ˙ ა

thank you so much for reading, i appreciate it so much!

here's my masterlist if you're interested!

-- Z

[cardentist]

I've written two nuanced essays about this today [Link 1, Link 2] but I want to try to condense this idea down as much as possible.

we understand that transmisogyny is a term that Largely discusses the experiences of trans fems

we understand that exorsexism is a term that Largely discusses the experiences of people outside of the gender/sex binary

we understand that intersexism is a term that Largely discusses the experience of intersex people

these are all terms that are actively in use, there are some cases where people have express bigotry towards these terms (of course there are, they were created to address the bigotry these groups face after all), but they're Generally established within the queer community.

we can Add that while these terms are Generally used to discuss the experiences of particular groups of people, there Will be crossover in those experiences. because we are all genderqueer (meaning we experience our gender in a queer way). because there is crossover between members of our groups (there are intersex people who are multigender and nonbinary and trans fem). And because people often face violence not because of the identity that they Are, but because of how they're Perceived (a cis intersex woman can face transmisogyny by someone who interprets her as a perisex trans woman, and that's an experience that's worth talking about and acknowledging).

now we take all of That, and we add trans mascs to the equation.

Trans Mascs have experiences that aren't entirely unique to them, but Do largely characterize the lived experiences of trans masc people. we can allow trans mascs to have the language to acknowledge and highlight their lived experiences, to find other people like them, to put a spotlight on things that have often faced erasure, Without then compromising other trans people.

and we know they can, because this is what all other genderqueer people have already done. the existence of transmisogyny does not harm exorsexism or intersexism. these terms are all able to function alongside each other.

All queer people are allowed to create terminology for themselves without it being presented as an existential threat to any other type of queer person (as long as you're against other forms of exclusionism, which for the sake of this hypothetical I'm assuming you are).

so it Says Something when people single out trans mascs and deny them the same. something awfully transphobic.

transandrophobia Can exist alongside transmisogyny and exorsexism and intersexism, with the understanding that it is a term that's Largely intended to give trans mascs the vocabulary to advocate for themselves, while Also crossing over with the lived experiences of other genderqueer people. something which Only benefits All genderqueer people by opening up conversations for things that can fly under the radar!

and if you want to change how we use these terms then we have to address All of them, you cannot single out transandrophobia without it being Transphobia. (and gender-essentialism, for that matter).

[twig-tea]

With 23.5 finally coming out, the people are rejoicing at finally getting a high profile gl from GMMTV. But there have already been several gls airing this year, including my fav TsukuTabe, that have been flying under the radar with fandom, and in general there are more gls already out there than folks seem to think. I just know you have a list of all the gls we should be watching, please share with the class!

Thank you for the ask! How did you know I had a draft of GL recs to make at some point? [Trick question, I mentioned it to you.]

It may seem like I'm out here hating on GL because i've made a couple of negative reviews of recently airing series recently (Love Senior and Chaser Game W in case you're curious) but I actually have lots of GL that I love and that I wish were better known! Thanks for sending this ask so I am inspired to actually finish it! I've limited myself to series so that I could keep the list and this post to a reasonable length. Where possible I've listed where you can find each of these and included a link. And I've included an 'elevator pitch' summary but I am NOT in marketing for a reason, so please don't roast me too hard for my terrible comparisons. Alright, enough waffling!

Twig's GL Rec List

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat S1 & 2 (Japan, 2022 & 2024, both seasons fansubbed by @furritsubs; if you need help accessing this show feel free to DM me!)

Elevator pitch: Our Dining Table with lesbians and an even slower burn. Watch for beautiful food, acespec rep, mental health and therapy rep

What might turn some off: Extremely low heat, and quite slow-moving; warning for a disordered eating and family trauma plot (v gently handled)

Let's start with the one you've already mentioned. This is a heartwarming slice-of-life slow burn in which an autismspec-coded woman who likes to eat is invited by her neighbour, a femme acespec woman who loves to cook, to come and eat her food. It starts from a very practical place (when you love making food you need someone to help eat it), but their relationship grows as they spend more time together. The story follows them as they both move towards self-actualization in several ways: as a lesbian, as asexual, at work, with their families, with their friends, with each other. This show is so careful to say the important words aloud. And there is so much delicious cooking! Each episode highlights a particular recipe, and the food porn is real. Do not watch while hungry, but definitely watch. The found famiy vibes in this one one are also immaculate.

She Makes My Heart Flutter (Korea, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Younger lesbian friend group tries to help out (slightly) older lesbian bar owner with mixed success. I can't think of a good BL equivalent, The Moment Since feels the closest with its similar bartender/patron romance

What might turn some off: Comedic tone; short runtime; struggles with being closeted

This is a gem of a miniseries about a bar owner and an interior designer who smoulder at one another while an intrepid group of younger bar regulars (including the bar owner's neice) meddle. This series is really cute, solid, and full of sapphics! Once again found family vibes are immaculate (you may sense a theme in my faves). Run don't walk.

Fragrance of the First Flower (Taiwan, 2021, GagaOOLala)

Elevator pitch: Right-person-wrong-time/second chance romance; tonally is a little like We Best Love 2: Fighting Mr. 2nd but with an ambiguous ending.

What might turn you off: Medium heat, second chance romance means they break up once, internalized homophobia, adultery/cheating, at one point there's a creepy dude, child with autism (depicted well), ambiguous ending

At its core this is a story of a woman who can't stop getting in the way of her own happiness. This series is a little more sad than the rest of this rec list but I couldn't not include it because this relationship is so poignant. Plus there's a s2 that supposedly is to come out in 2024 so maybe we'll get our happy ending after all?

Love Greater Than or Equal to 70 Degrees C (Korea, 2019, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Ingredients but with lesbians staring at one another over beautiful tea pairings! What more could you ask for?

What might turn you off: Low heat; short runtime; ambiguous ending; like Ingredients this is essentially a long ad for the café it's filmed at.

This is a Korean miniseries about passionate tea sommeliers making really fancy tea while staring at one another a LOT. Perfect sapphic representation, 10/10 no notes. This one packs a lot of the drama tropes into its short runtime, so even though it's short it's full of butterfly-inspiring moments.

Sleep With Me (Philippines, 2022, GagaOOLala/iWantTFC/Netflix w/VPN set to Philippines)

Elevator pitch: The Truth About Cats and Dogs but the self esteem issues are handled without catfishing. BL equivalent: Hmmm. Closest I can think of is Gaya Sa Pelikula.

What might turn you off: There's some ableism (treated as such) in this show; Open ending.

Stellar GL between a late night radio DJ and an insomniac who listens to her show. One of the main couple is a wheelchair user and the show tackles ablelism and navigating disability in relationship as well as feelings of inadequacy in a relationship and how that manifests as interpersonal conflict.

Our Relationship Ended Before it Began (Korea, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Along the lines of I Cannot Reach You; the show gives both perspectives and they are held back by queer angst.

What might turn you off: No kiss (but they make it very clear both want to kiss), internalized homophobia

Really sweet miniseries about having a crush and being afraid of being hurt so you don't actually make a move. I really like the way the girl who has not dated a girl before defaults to gender roles and it throws the more experienced lesbian lol I also really like the way this show makes clear that both of them are waiting for a kiss, and that if you get in your head about things, it can get in the way of your own happiness!

Pearl Next Door (Philippines, 2020, Youtube)

Elevator Pitch: Gameboys but with lesbian vloggers.

What might turn you off: Love triangle, lots of teasing but low heat in the end, a lot of (good) conversations about mental health issues, ambiguous ending

This is the GL spinoff to Gameboys, starring Pearl from Gameboys. Pearl ends up being fought over by the two gorgeous women in the gif, an old love and a new. I love the queer friendships in this story as much as the relationships. I will say it's an open ending (that felt a bit like the showrunners didn't want to decide between ships) and definitely the love triangle features prominently but even in the face of these aspects that would normally turn me off a series I had a good time. The characters and interpersonal conflicts feel very real, and are allowed to be complex even when the show tone is comedic.

Dear Uranus (Taiwan, 2021, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Schoolgirl ensemble GL; a little like My School President but without the singing.

What might turn you off: Short runtime; ambiguous ending; a little bit of bullying; very standard romance trope execution

The first Taiwanese GL miniseries, this series was produced by a Taiwanese lesbian couple (Rabbit & Wolf)! Lots of excellent drama tropes, and incredibly gorgeous women (I think the entire watching audience fell in love with Erol.

Lily Fever (Korea, 2015, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Complete crack; YYY but with more kissing and frankly an even less coherent story.

What might turn you off: The lack of coherent plot; less a romance and more a very thirsty lesbian kissing everyone she can

This miniseries is utter chaos. Nothing really makes sense, it's all just random excuses to cause very suggestive moments (and kissing) to happen. I love so much how this series depicts women being so absolutely thirsty for one another (and yes that date isn't a typo, this series is ~9 years old). Not an "happy ever after" ending but it really isn't that kind of story.

Chasing Sunsets (Philippines, 2020, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Ocean Likes Me with lesbians. Resort romance with a mental health twist.

What might turn you off: Some of the mental health stuff gets intense, this was filmed in 2020 so the pandemic features heavily; hopeful but slightly ambiguous ending.

A complex story from the Philippines covering mental health and finding yourself. A woman shows up to a resort and befriends one of the women running the resort. They get closer as they spend time together, and the resort owner realizes something is off. There's also a BL side couple in this series.

Show Me Love (Thai, 2023, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: A little like My Day the series with lesbians, in that they work together and fall in love and it's full of tropes

What might turn you off: The advertising for the Miss Grand competition, there is some bullying and cheating (though way less than I was expecting tbh), not a lot actually happens, the editing gets a bit wonky at the end

This is essentially a massive ad for the Miss Grand Thailand competition; this GL was produced by the same company that produces that competition, and the stars are mostly Miss Grand competitors. The main pairing were shipped in the actual competition, and the company decided to make a GL about them. It's very slow paced and low-stakes, and there are better kisses than I expected considering everything I just said about where this show came from. There are a lot of cute moments!

Girlfriend Project (Korea, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Love Class with lesbians

What might turn you off: One of the leads is kind of mean in that pgitail-pulling way? It ends abruptly (but happily)

This is a short miniseries about two girls paired in a class that are assigned to "date". The chemistry is chemistrying. And there is a kiss (a good kiss, and a tiptoes kiss at that!). This show also has one of my favourite tropes, in which someone who seems like a pushover stands up for themselves and their partner finds it very attractive. For the record, in this show they are watching another GL by the same company, Love Tech.

Lulu (Philippines, 2022, Vivamax/grey)

Elevator Pitch: Present Perfect with lesbians (but with a better ending).

What might turn you off: Depictions of panic attacks, brief depiction of drowning, pandemic lockdowns, illness, exes, waffling, happy but open ending (which I actually liked for this story)

Two women trying to move on from the garbage in their lives meet at the beach of a B&B (where one saves the other from drowning) and become one another's company during their escape and then something more. They both have baggage that seems determined to keep them apart even as they continue to be drawn together. In the end, they decide to stick it out and see where they end up, with no guarantee of happily ever after, which I found very sweet. Requires either a VivaMax account or searching the grey for it, but it's worth the effort (check MyDramaList comments for suggestions on where to find it). Plus one of the leads has a cactus as a pet.

Welcome to the Lesbian Bar (Korea, 2023, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: A little like Fudanshi Bartender but without the fudanshi bartender and all of the bar patrons are lesbians lol

What might turn you off: Short, can get a little bit preachy, abrupt ending

Cute short series with different very stories every episode as different patrons visit the bar. The stories range from women who have been together for awhile, to people meeting from an online app for the first time, to someone visiting a lesbian bar for the first time; and yet the story all weaves together in a way that's satisfying though ends abruptly. Includes some solid marriage equality propaganda.

GAP the Series (Thai, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Kind of the vibes of Together with Me but lesbians and in an office instead of school. Angry boss falls for charming new intern and

What might turn you off: This one is the highest heat of all these recs; homophobia especially amongst family, brief depictions of death by car, brief mentions of suicide, cheating, bullying, abuse of power in the office.

A list would not be complete without this one! Honestly the plot is a bit wobbly but the show is a lot of fun. The girls are very cute, the feelings and tension builds really well between them, the friend group is excellent, and in the special we get a wedding.

---

The rest of these have caveats of one kind or another, but i couldn't leave them off a rec list, so here are the side couples and censored stories that are still worth your time anyway (I might do a separate more detailed post for these, as well as for films, one day if there's interest):

Nevertheless (GL side; Korean, 2021, Netflix) Not sure it's worth watching a whole kdrama for side lesbians? Search soljiwan on youtube. They are great. Even the Netflix account stans them. I watched this (ngl, I watched the SolJiwan cut) as it aired and was constantly braced for it to let us down but it did not! A really good friends-to-lovers story.

Friend Zone 2: Dangerous Area (GL side; Thailand, 2019, YouTube): These sapphics are messy and I love them. Decent conversation about dating someone with mental health issues in this series, and they're one of the only couples in this ensemble to get a happy ending. If you're just watching the lesbian couple (which you can, their story is pretty self-contained) you don't need to have seen s1.

Six Survivors (GL side; Japan, 2022, Viki) This show is a horror comedy and it is SO MUCH FUN. Warning for zombies and blood, but way less than you might think. One of the eponymous 6 survivors is a lesbian who keeps trying to convert them to veganism lol. If you watched Chaser Game W you'll recognize one of the actresses in this, the lead actress is from Kamisama no Ekohiiki, and one of the guys is from the prequel series His as well as I Want to See Only You! And yes there is a kiss. Also a surprising number of Mallrats references. Not for people who can't handle gore or relationships being complicated/not a "true love" story/ambiguous ending.

Kamisama no Ekohiiki (complicated question of is it GL in parts, Japan, 2021, furritsubs once again coming through to save the day) This one is a bit complex because there's bodyswap, but the girl who falls for the bodyswapped boy-in-a-girl's-body is clear that she is only interested in the girl. One of the better bodyswap stories because the bodyswap is not a secret for very long, so instead there's a lot of introspection about what gender means and who/what they are attracted to. Feels wrong to call this GL, necessarily, but it's very queer.

Couple of Mirrors (Censored GL, China, 2021, Viki) Story of a rich girl and her assassin girlfriend. This production did an amazing job getting away with what they could, just don't watch the last five minutes and we've got essentially a happy lesbian family.

Legend of Yunze (Censored GL, China, 2021, @douqi7s) Very cute very low budget xianxia miniseries with two seasons and a special. The special is set in modern times in a future lifetime so if you want a cute censored-but-clearly-a-soulmate-love-story this is the one for you. Don't be thrown off by the weird cuts/abrupt episode endings, that's in line with cdramas in general.

Led Astray by Love (Censored GL, China, 2021, @douqi7s) A very fun and adorable isekai story in which a modern day girl is transported to a wuxia novel setting and has to figure out how to get home, and gets romanced by the princess along the way.

And a few additional links for people who even more content:

My Indian sapphic webseries rec list

My suggestions for content with toms (Thai category that's similar to but not exactly the same as butch lesbians) in response to this post.

This really good GL MyDramaList list (not made by me!) lists what seems to be everything I've mentioned and about 200 more. Even I haven't seen a few of these!

My YouTube playlist of sapphic content: This includes anything I stumble across or find in my searches, a lot of music videos and random shorts as well as some microseries and miniseries that I don't consider GL but are WLW/sapphic in addition to true "GL" content. For serialized content, I add just the first ep. A complete mess, but you can trawl through to find stuff to watch, like Hetero!

SOONOTSUE: The same producers of She Makes My Heart Flutter have other short series on their channel worth checking out; if you liked that one, try Out of Breath!

Shakeshoulder: Thai YouTube producers of very pulpy (read: low budget and dramatic plots) shorts

FuFuKnows: This YouTube channel is owned by a gay Taiwanese couple that produces shorts every week, including some with GL mains and sides. These are very low budget but cover a whole swath of queer themes.

@douqi7s is a godsend providing subtitles for all kinds of content, including sapphic shorts and more series than I've listed here. Check their tumblr for links to all of their content; A Practical Guide to Being a Superstar's Assistant has one of the best setups to giving us great moments in the guise of something else so that they get past censorship I've ever seen; I also recommend The Vampires if you're into genre fiction, as well as Legend of Yunqian if you enjoyed the xianxia parts of Legend of Yunze. @wlwcatalogue did an excellent summary of many of the non-wuxia options here.

Quick pitch for the streaming platform GagaOOLala; it's affordable, has a ton of content, including a whack of GLs (originals, license series, and a ton of shorts), and is run by queer people out of Taiwan who care about good quality queer content being made and having an audience, and using the soft power from those successful series to support social change. And if you can't afford a subscription it's worth checking out what they have for free, they open up temporary free access to some things for various events throughout the year.

In searching for gifs for this post I found fellow tumblr user @drowningparty 's WLW compendium list; they've listed more series and films so check it out if you still need more content!

*wipes sweat off brow* that should be enough to be getting on with, but it's really just the tip of the iceberg! If there's something specific you want to see with sapphics let me know and I can tell you if I know it exists. Anyway, I hope this gives you and everyone else a taste of what all is out there! I of course always want more, I am serious about being a sapphic dragon hoarding every crumb i can get my lizardy hands on, but I do think what we have should also be appreciated more. If I missed one of your faves, please tell me!

[merbear25]

Reigniting an old flame (Mihawk)

Prompt 18 requested by @thesunxwentblack

A/n: Thank you so much for requesting this, especially with Mihawk! I had a blast, so I hope you enjoy what I've written for you 💜💜

CW: NSFW!! MDNI!! fem!reader, fluffy smut, established relationship, vaginal penetration, slightly rough sex

Sharing your life with someone never appeared to be in the cards for either of you. However, your paths intersected, giving you a chance at love. Understandably, neither of you held out hope for your relationship to survive the countless fire it'd undoubtedly be under, but it turned out that anything was possible.

Despite the shaky circumstances, your love was worth holding onto—such devotion was difficult to come by in this world. Wanting nothing more than your safety, Mihawk urged you to distance yourself from him, at least until he managed to get everything under control.

However, seeing how distraught you were by the whole ordeal made it seem as if this decision was the wrong one. Holding you closely, he reassured you that your love was meant to flourish. Handing you a small piece of paper, you noticed the address written on it—a type of safe haven for you to fly under the radar.

Pushing your heartbreak aside, thinking that this could be the final time you see each other, your trust in him remained unwavering. Tearfully agreeing to the conditions, you departed. Watching the life you'd just begun together become more distant, the serverity of reality was almost proving too much to bear.

With days turning into weeks and weeks into months, gnawing dread that something had happened ate away at you until a piece of mail appeared: one holding neither a return address nor signature, yet an abundance of clues. The envelope contained postcards with nothing written on them but a note about the supposed journey that alluded to the true origins of post. Trusting your gut, you answered, sending it to a place that was starting to feel more and more like a shot in the dark.

Only when another arrived, were your doubts set to rest. With the illusion of secrecy kept, it was obvious to the both of you that your adoration new no bounds. In spite of the small glimmers of joy you'd get receiving and sending mail to each other, the extended period of doing so was weighing on you, leaving you wondering if you'd ever get the chance to hold each other again, to allow your love to flourish in the way it was supposed to.

With the last two years passing by in a haze, the next piece of mail sparked hope. Sifting through the hints, he gave you notice of his current whereabouts, extending an invitation. Elation of being reunited coarsed through you, your feet and the sails of the ships being unable to carry you as quickly as you needed.

Upon seeing him, there was no chance you'd hold yourself back from running into his arms. The feeling of him wrapping you up in an embrace—one which he'd be sure could never allow you to slip through—allowed your souls to meld together. Granting himself this moment of weakness, he swept you off your feet and carried you into your new home, peppering your sweet face with much deserved affection.

Placing you down on the bed, you had a silent understanding that everything else could wait, for now getting lost in the pits of your desire took priority.

As the fires of your passion increased with each searing kiss, your body arched with each touch, each grope, beckoning for him to ravish you. Trailing kisses down your neck, removed your delicates with ease. Pinning your legs back, your needy slit was on full display, which only whetted the appetite that'd gone without satisfaction for far too long.

Unleashing his arousal, he teased your pearl with its tip, sending waves of anticipation deep into your desperate walls. Easing himself into you, he reveled in the sensation your twitching form was so eager to give him.

Picking up the pace, he bucked in and out of you with a clear goal: letting the dry spell come to a crashing halt by surrendering yourselves to the uncharted depths of euphoria.

Your moans were growing more and more frantic, sounding off in the room like sweet melodies. The sight of you losing all sense of self on him made you even more irresistible. Leaning over you, your lip lock was feverish yet firm. As his length forced itself deeper, your groans at taking the full extent of his lust mixed with his.

Such thrills were building up to an explosive irruption, one which would quake the earth surrounding it. Fully letting go of any of the sorrow and uncertainty you once had, an earth shattering revilation freed you from those shackles.

Now with more clarity, the two of you could give yourselves entry into the other's life, no longer needing to hide.

Leaving you with a kiss on your forehead, he excused himself momentarily, giving you full reign of the bedroom.

Taking liberty to look around at the different knick knacks he had scattered about, a red velvet box caught your eye. Admiring the delicately crafted lining, you unclasped it. You were met with a stack of postcards and notes.

Holding each note up, you could barely make out that they were yours due to the tears flooding your eyes. Such tenderness that you never knew he was capable of sent your heart soaring.

When he reentered the room and caught you looking at his keepsake, he gently placed a hand on your lower back.

"You mean to tell me you've kept every single note?"

Cupping your face, he spoke with complete certainty, "A love like yours is meant to be cherished."

Being given the chance to fan the flames of your passion, letting it reach new hights was an opportunity you'd never take for granted. Wrapping your arms around him, you gave yourselves a few more moments to let those bright embers dance between you.

[storiesfromafan]

Obsessed Pt 2

A/N: I am finally back, and with part 2! I'm still a bit sick but am almost over the flu. Thankful it wasn't covid again.

I hope this part isn't too bad. Not sure how I feel about it, but will stick with it haha.

Part 1

Obsessed Pt 2

The first three years at Hogwarts were blissful oblivion, being a student that blended in so well that no one even looked your way. Fourth year was different, with change in appearance and hormones you were being noticed more, like anyone really.

You were the nerdy girl who did the bare minimum to avoid the spotlight. It wasn’t because you were shy, but rather bored. Sure, you liked to converse with people, but most days you would rather avoid them. So, you thrived in being invisible, a wallflower if you will.

The only real friends of yours was the girls in your dorm room, as you had all started at Hogwarts together, meeting on the train in first year and bonding over the joy and nerves of starting your magical journey together. And they accepted you the way you were. Understanding how you chose knowledge over being social, they even did it too. But you were always happy to spend time with them.

Lately your invisible position felt to be lacking. The feeling that you were being watched, not by a collective but possibly by one solitary soul. You would enter a room and feel eyes on you. It wasn’t a bad thing, no ill feeling, but more secure. Silly to think really.

After the day you had, and witnessing a third year take off after rejection, and the exciting dinner in The Great Hall, you retreated to the library before curfew kicked in. You had a few things to research for different classes. Taking refuge in a quiet corner, you had three large books piled on your table as you retrieved your parchment, quill and ink.

The library was a safe haven for you. A space that housed so much information, a challenge for you to absorb as much of it as you could. Knowledge was always something you wanted, knowing all you could about anything. And because of it you found many of your Ravenclaw house mates seeking you out, either with help or to study with you. In your house you were known for your intellect, but when in the classroom you liked to fly under the radar. You didn’t seek recognition for it like some, you didn’t want to be known as a know it all.

Sitting back in your chair, large book in hands, you were reading over a potion Professor Snape had mentioned earlier today in class. Of course you didn’t know of it at the time, hence why you sort it out now. You took notes on its ingredients and brewing method, wanting to be prepared in case the Professor sprung it on you at any point. Something he did enjoy doing to his students.

With an hour left before curfew, many students had left the library by now. The added silence was like music to your ears, which was silly. Closing the book, satisfied with the new knowledge you had gained, you thought it best to put the books back on their respected shelves. Walking around the rows of books, the three large books in hand, one by one being put in their spots.

You had just put the last book back, in a more secluded area of the library, when you heard a soft whooshing noise. It was like something flying around, but it wasn’t some kind of creature. Stepping towards the opening of the row, something came flying up to you before suddenly stopping before your face, making you jump.

Your wide (color) eyes blinked a few times before registering the floating letter, that sported your name so neatly. Hesitantly you reached out and took the letting in your hand, the magical dust falling from it disappearing once in your hold. Looking from the name, you turned over the letter noting a wax seal, before turning back to your name with curiosity.

Looking around you, you noted no body in your vicinity. So, who had sent this letter? And from where? You were wondering this while moving back to your table. Sitting the letter on the table you packed up your supplies before taking the letter once more, you intended to put it in your bag, but the curiosity was getting to you.

With another look about your area, you broke the wax seal and unfolded the parchment. You were met with the same neat writing on the crisp parchment. You scanned the writing, taking in the words on the page. Coming to an end realization hit you, this wasn’t a letter per say but a complete published poem.

She walks in beauty, like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

And all that’s best of dark and bright

Meet in her aspect and her eyes;

Thus mellowed to that tender light

Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,

Had half impaired the nameless grace

Which waves in every raven tress,

Or softly lightens o’er her face;

Where thoughts serenely sweet express,

How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,

So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,

The smiles that win, the tints that glow,

But tell of days in goodness spent,

A mind at peace with all below,

A heart whose love is innocent!

The beautiful words of the muggle Lord Byron graced the parchment before you. Someone had sent you a beautiful poem, one you had read a few times and enjoyed. Muggle poetry was a comfort read for you, especially those that reference love. You might have brains, but you still dreamed of romance.

You stared at the words; there was only the poem and nothing else. The person who sent this didn’t even sign it with their name or anything. Confusion washed over you by the beautiful sentiment. Coming back to reality you noted the time, before folding the letter and place it carefully in your bag. With said bag on your shoulder you left the library and headed back to the Ravenclaw house.

Walking through the almost empty halls, the soft sounds of the paintings around you filling the halls. You passed other students on your journey, who were heading to their own respective houses. Upon reach the Ravenclaw door, you recited this week password before being granted access. You noted students in the common room, with no rush to go to their dorms.

You on the hand looked forward to being in your dorm. A hot shower and pajamas calling your name after the long day. Upon entering your room, your best friend and other friends were already there. They were talking about the day while reading or working on homework. Dropping your bag on your bed you grabbed your pajamas and toiletries, before going to the joining bathroom to scrub the day way.

After resurfacing in the dorm room clad in your comfy pajamas, you disposed of your dirty clothes in your laundry hamper. You then took a seat on your bed, bringing your bag to sit before you and started to take out your work from the days classes. You had emptied your bag when your best friend (name) came over, she sat at the end of your bed while you packed your bag for the next day.

Being in a deep discussion with your bestie, the parchment from your secret admirer fell from your bag. (Name)’s eyes dropped to the parchment, while you also looked to it. You both looked at the other, to the parchment and back to each other, before both of you lunged for it. A curse coming from your lips when she had just beaten you to it.

(Name) didn’t listen when you protested, asking for the letter back, your words falling on deaf ears. With a large smile on her face, she turned to look at you, hands ready to open the parchment.

“What do we have here?!” (Name) asked with glee.

You shot her a dark look. “It’s nothing. Now give it back”. You lunged for the parchment but ended up landing on the ground.

“Doesn’t seem like nothing~” she sang holding a corner of the letter in each hand and moving it around to her words. Which only added to your annoyance.

By now the other girls in the room had joined you both, they were looking at the parchment with interest. Getting to your feet, you moved to sit on the edge of your bed. From there you decided to explain the letter, and how it had been enchanted to come to you while you were in the library. As you told your story, your best friend and roommates listening with bated breath, hanging on every word.

“It’s just a poem. Nothing of real interest” you finished with a sigh.

With those words (Name) opened the parchment. She and the other two girls read the contents. And just like you said, it was a poem. They looked a little deflated, no doubt hoping for something juicy.

“Why would someone send a poem?” one of the girls asked, the other just shrugging at her words.

(Name) took a seat next to you, the gears in her mind grinding away. You could tell she was thinking of something of substance. She never thinks so hard for nothing.

“I think you do have a secret admirer” (Name) stated slowly. “Maybe this was the best way to speak to you”.

“Huh?” The two other girls asked in confusion.

“Think about it. Most males stumble over their words, let alone would have trouble writing them down” (Name) started. “So, a muggle poem might be the best way to open a line of communication”.

You nodded, agreeing with her logic.

“Are you going to write them back?” One of the girls asked, all the while your three roommates stared at you.

You blinked your eyes a few times before waving your hands about. “W-what?! Oh no, no I-I couldn’t” you stammered.

“Yes, you should!!” All three chorused together.

You groaned. “W-what would I say? Hi who ever you are, thanks for the poem. It wasn’t weird at all. I found it nice”.

They all laughed at your words. “No” (Name) said with a soft smile. “But you could say thank you for the beautiful words and hope he would send you some of his own?”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh please, no doubt this is from some weird quiet kid”.

“Don’t knock the weird quiet kids” (Name) retorts poking your side, “you never know what you could be missing out on”.

You shook your head at their laughter. For the rest of the evening your roommates made small jokes, and discussed the possible suitors the parchment could be from. The list went from fellow Ravenclaws, to Hufflepuffs and Gryffindor’s.

“Maybe it was Mattheo Riddle” mused (Name) with a sly smirk.

You threw your pillow at her, as she guessed the crush you had on the Slytherin male. Though about ninety-eight percent of the females of the school were crushing on Mattheo.

(Name) threw your pillow back at you. “Just imagine his fan club if it was him, so many girls would wish to be you so badly” she cackled falling back on her bed no doubt imagining the scenario.

“Haha” you pouted. “Hell would have to freeze over for it to be Mattheo. I doubt I’m his type, or if he even knows who I am!”

You know you spoke the truth, as did the girls in the room, but saying them out loud still hurt. For Mattheo Riddle was far out of your reach. The guy had a different girl every month or two. And they were always breathtakingly beautiful.

The girls around you were talking but you didn’t take much notice. Laying on your bed, your mind was going over the parchment and the poem. Questioning why someone would anonymously send you it? Was someone messing with you or was this legit? Did you have a secret admirer after all?

[lets-try-some-writing]

i love it when people apply the whole “humans are space orcs” idea to transformer humans.

jack, miko and raf just doing regular, average day things that make the bots both extremely worried and unsettled gives me so much brainrot.

I got you here. I love this kind of lore/reaction ask.

Each of the children have a particular habit that bothers the team more than anything else. Can it be explained? Not really. All humans do the things they do. But for the bots, it is strange and out of sorts all the same.

Miko always carries around a bottle of sparkling water. She adores the stuff. The team, despite knowing it is not what the name implies, are still horrified with her drinking habits. Not to mention, they can't help but wonder where all the liquid goes. She drinks up to three whole bottles of water a day. In her own words "Hydrate or die." That in it of itself is concerning since the team, while well aware that humans need water, do not know how much they need exactly. The team are down right terrified of her ability to down water like a dry sponge. How can such a small fleshy even consume that much? They aren't entirely sure. Not only that, but if she drinks that much, then are Jack and Rafael getting enough? They can't be.

Not only does Miko down water like a bone dry houseplant, she also drinks just about anything else too. The team have seen her chug sodas which contain Primus knows how many strange chemicals and compounds. They've observed her willingly drink things that no other would on bets, including food that has been blended and watered down just because Jack wanted to see if it was possible for her to down hotdog cafeteria milk cheeto apple slurry.

Yes the team are terrified of humans and their ability to put anything inside themselves and walk it off. But more than any other, they fear Miko. Who knows what she's consumed.

All the kids do it, but Jack is the most notable since when he needs to go to the restroom, he makes it loud and clear mainly so that someone knows to keep an eye on Miko. The team are aware that organics have a need to manually handle removing waste since their systems are rather inefficient, however there is a certain level of mysteriousness surrounding the restrooms. The bots don't want to watch or even know HOW the humans get rid of waste, but they do know that THINGS happen in the restroom that seem to either be painful, emotional, refreshing, or aggravating. No one can really be sure what reaction will follow those who enter the space. Sometimes Jack or one of the other kids will go in there seemingly to just be alone.

It is a strange and almost sacred location where strange happenings occur. Miko went in once with bloody clothes and emerged with a fresh set before Ratchet could figure out what was wrong in the first place. Jack went in once and came out an hour later looking like he'd gone to war after he convinced Arcee to let him stop and get takeout the night before. Rafael took his charger and computer in there and hogged the space for a while to get away from the others once. The team does not know what happens in there, but it is mildly concerning since it either repairs or breaks a person.

Bulkhead theorizes that its a pocket dimension like the shadow zone. Ratchet refuses to think about it. Optimus will say nothing about whatever he knows. Arcee and Bee assume its a safe haven or sorts and Wheeljack is almost certain they keep weapons in there. Ultra Magnus and Smokescreen both agree that the restroom is simply a quiet space where a human can deal with personal issues in peace.

No bot is willing to try and confirm anything since humans flip out at any attempts to view the supposedly sacred ground.

Rafael is generally pretty good about flying under the radar most of the time, but he has a habit that has caught the team's attention. Humans have been noted doing what they can to clean themselves on their own. Its rather ineffective to clean one's own venting openings with digits considering the sheer amount of germs involved, but it is not out of the question to do so when a cleaning cloth is not available. Rafael occasionally and quietly trying to clean his nose is not what bothers the team.

No what horrifies them is the goop that he pulls out after his attempt at cleaning. What Ratchet has studied states that the goop is referred to by a number names, but is commonly called snot. Its the natural germ catcher humans have, but it still unsettles the team whenever Rafael quietly blows a few or when one of the others grabs a tissue and makes a rather disgusting sound as they try to clear their airways.

The goop reminds the team of any number of horrible things. But the sheer amount of GROSS within a small amount of the stuff has left the team all gagging whenever they find the stuff around base. Rafael is usually good about being clean, but sometimes he gets lazy and will use his chair to hide his cleaning attempts. Bumblebee has almost purged a few times seeing the marks on the chair from where Rafael may or may not have wiped his fingers.

Is he twelve? Yes. Is he fully mature? No. That much is evident just by looking at his chair.

[kissesforsatoru]

GUARDIAN ANGEL | wc: 5k~

GUARDIAN ANGEL!HOBIE BROWN X GN!READER

₊˚⌗ hobie was never supposed to get involved with you, yet you and him became irrevocably tied to one another.

⤷ cw : general yandere themes, soft yandere!hobie, near death experiences, marking (not in the way you guys probably think), jealousy, possessive behavior if you squint, implied power dynamics, pet names (love, sweetheart), horribly written british accent, utterly smitten hobie, softie!reader, reader is smaller than hobie, but angels are big compared to humans so that's why (he’s like 6’5+ and he wears platforms), EVERYTHING ABOUT ANGELS IN THIS FIC IS ENTIRELY MADE UP.

notes : please bear in mind that i don't have a full grasp on hobie yet, so he is probably definitely a bit ooc; i did try my best though!! i’m also planning to put this on ao3 at some point, so if you see it pop up there it’s not plagiarized, it’s just me ૮ ˶´ ᵕˋ ˶ა

♫₊˚.🎧 now playing . . . fool for you by noita

it was never supposed to turn out like this. you and him were never supposed to happen.

you were only supposed to be 'just another human' to hobie like the rest of everyone else. he wasn't supposed to get involved or contact you directly; he wasn't supposed to get attached. you weren't supposed to get attached to him either. but you did, and he did too. so much that he’s entirely fucked. there’s no coming back from this for you or him.

it's not like this is any of hobie’s fault though, not when he’s known to not follow the rules and definitely not when you're the most precious human he has ever had the pleasure of being the guardian angel of.

he will admit that at first it was boring to watch you, but then it was fun. 

you aren’t anything incredibly special. just a broke college student with very few friends who likes to stay home more than you like to go out. but following you around and laughing his ass off about all of the stupid little things you did when you thought nobody was watching, like talk to yourself or narrate your actions, hobie really enjoyed that. he got a nice kick out of whenever someone would catch you doing one of those things and you’d get all flustered, shy, and painfully awkward.

you're undeniably adorable, and so refreshing. it's nice being your guardian angel in comparison to being one for some grubby old bastard whose morality borders far past what's considered to be good. hobie hates those people, pigs they are, all of them. you aren’t anything like them. you're boring, yeah, but hobie still likes you better than any other human. 

he sometimes pretended that you were talking to him whenever you spoke to yourself out loud, even though that couldn't have been possible. he would smirk and respond to you still with his dry humor and witty remarks because it was fun and it gave him a delightful little buzz. 

he didn't know how, or when, it happened, but hobie then found himself melting whenever he was around you, and more, he didn't mind it.

hobie used to hate angels that fell for humans because they’re such fragile beings; you have to be careful with them, all gentle and soft—it's why they need guardian angel, otherwise, they would die out faster than any other species earth has ever known. and angels, despite what people may think, aren't gentle lovers. they're aggressive and intense by nature due to their power and status as "higher beings." humans are too weak to handle an angel's love; it would be too overwhelming for them to handle, so falling for one is pointless, and hobie always thought that the angels who did were stupid. but he gets it now.

he shouldn’t though.

guardian angels have very specific and strict rules that have to be followed meticulously for both the safety of humans and angels. of course, hobie has broken more than a few of these rules before and he’s also gotten plenty of lectures from miguel about it too—enough for hobie to have actually considered flying under the lunatics' radar by doing his job correctly, but hobie... he doesn't like to be pushed around and forced into a role. especially one as heavy as guardian angel. that's just not him, so he does what he wants.

but still, hobie has never seriously messed up before. he's only had a few slip ups here and there that aren't too reprimandable in comparison to other things. he's tried to be somewhat serious about his job, follow all the important rules and all that. that is until he fell for you.

hobie has broken many of the important rules for you, and the first one was even falling for you in the first place. you made him break that one so easily, almost too easy. the next rule hobie broke for you was communicating with you directly, revealing himself and really getting involved with you. but to be fair, that also wasn't his fault. he didn't have the intention of letting you see him that night, let alone talking to you; it just happened.

your friend gwen told you about guardian angels and how it was possible for you to manifest using the help of yours, and you were awfully excited about finding out if that was true or not. you asked him for a sign that he was there, that he was willing to help you. one thing led to another and suddenly you were nestled deeply into the corner of the wall on your bed, wide eyed and shivering as you stared at him standing across the room.

perhaps it was your over eagerness mixed with his half-developed love for you at the time that made him stupidly decide to give you a sign that he was real in the form of literally showing you that he was real, he doesn't know. either way he did show you himself, and it had shocked you, really (an understatement). it took many hours of him consoling you to get you to understand that he's not some psycho who broke into your home somehow, but your actual, real guardian angel, in the flesh.

you were practically all over him after that, asking him all sorts of questions and touching him just to see if that was even possible for you to do—and to know what it would feel like too. not that he minded anyway. hobie decided then that it was much better having you actually talk to him than it was pretending that you were. and your touch was so soft that hobie had actually faltered a little bit when you reached for his cheek, pressing your palm against his skin and keeping it there for as long as he would let you. 

of all the places you could have touched him, of course you would choose an area that felt so unreasonably intimate, shaking him to his core. luckily you were far too enamored with the idea that he was a real angel for you to notice how much you’d set him off, how much you affect him.

after that he couldn't stay away from you. before he might have had a chance to snap himself out of his little love-sick puppy stupor, but having you aware of him, talking to him, touching him—it was all exhilarating; he loved it. and it would truly be unfair for anyone to expect him to pull away from you and never let anything like that happen again. that was never an option for hobie, so he just didn't. he won’t ever deny himself the pleasure of you.

the last, most recent rule that hobie broke for you, and the one that happens to be the most important of all, was interfering with your life. going against "fate," as miguel calls it. hobie always thought that it was bullshit since a guardian angels' job is to protect, but apparently, they aren’t allowed to prevent their assigned human's death, or cure their illnesses, or anything like that, even though they had the power to. he didn't understand it, but still, he never got attached enough to feel the need to go against that rule until he fell in love with you.

— ୨୧ —

he indulged himself little by little with you. first by allowing himself to enjoy being your guardian angel, then by falling in love with you and involving himself physically with you. and then he started allowing himself to steal your attention from anyone or anything other than him on days he felt oddly needy.

that term isn't something anyone who knew hobie would use to describe him, not even he would use it to describe himself, but with you he's always acted a little bit different. he came to accept it, told himself that it was the "y/n effect" and left it at that. being needy with you was something that hobie didn't really mind all that much; he embraced it, really. 

hobie can at least get away with a little bit of harmless interference this way, by stealing your attention for himself. he didn't mind receiving another long, boring lecture about how he can’t keep breaking rules if it meant he got to spend his day with you holed up in your little apartment, just the two of you. you and him and nobody else.

he'd show up out of nowhere when you least expected him to, always, and tug on your arm, pull you into his body and coax you into staying with him. he'd tell you that going to work would be bad for you, leave you sick and groggy—you hate being sick and all groggy, and only a fool would think hobie wouldn’t use that to his advantage.

"you have to listen to your guardian angel, love," he would tell you, tilting his head to look down at your small frame, admiring the slight angry pout on your lips. "i know what's best for you, so stay, yeah?"

you always do listen to him. you trust him completely, after all, because you're such a naive human that could never ever think that hobie, your guardian angel, has bad intentions with you. and he doesn't, no, he's just a little bit selfish. no harm in that, right? 'course not.

hobie can go a little overboard with his selfishness whenever you have a date to go on though. he shouldn't be because you're a human and he's an angel and he could never have you for real, right? so he should let you have your little love story with your puny little human boy. 

but hobie is going to be selfish regardless of the facts. regardless of some stupid rules.

he hates the idea of you being with some dumb human when you have him. he's perfect, he's an angel. he's strong enough to protect you, he has your best interest always in mind—it's his literal job—he can love you the way you deserve to be loved and more, he can care for you better than anyone else in the world because he knows you best and knows exactly what you need without ever having to tell him. no human can ever compare to him.

no human will ever be as cool as him either. hobie doesn't think any guy can top him when he's a punk angel—what could possibly be cooler than that? you said it yourself when the two of you first met. 

"wow, i didn't think angels could look so... cool. hobie, you're amazing; what the hell!? how did someone like me get you as a guardian angel?”

who are you to be going on dates when you compliment him so sweetly like that. you obviously have an interest in him and all hobie needs to do is push you in the right direction, so he doesn't mind telling you any excuse he can come up with to get you to drop a guy, stupid and unreasonable or not.

"that guy just wants you for your body."

"that guy has a love already that he's not telling you about."

“that guy isn’t a good person, he’ll be a bad influence for you.”

"sweetheart, he's too ugly for you." he told you one time as an excuse, and you did not like that one. 

"hobie! it's not about looks, it's about personality, and– and the heart!" you yelled at him, smacking his chest lightly as you pulled away from him and rushed your way down the hall towards your room.

"oh, s'at right? you like guys with ‘heart’?" he huffed a laugh as he followed behind you, leaning against your door frame when he got to your room. you turn around to glare at him, but he only smirks at your ruffled posture.

cute. cute.

"yes, actually! unlike you. i had no idea angels could be such assholes," you grit before turning back around to flop yourself face first into bed.

you always do that when you're upset with him, which isn't often at all, but it happens enough for hobie to pick up on the little habits you develop, and this is certainly one of them. you don't like looking at him 'cause he ‘does stuff to you,’ apparently. makes you unable to stay mad if you look at him too long, so you just choose not to. 

he pushes off the wall and saunters towards you, pressing a knee into your bed as he reaches over to tug at your arm, urging for you to roll over, to look at him. "c'mon, you don't mean that, love." he smiles when you do eventually turn to look at him, and this time with a much less angry expression on your pretty face.

"no, i don't," you sigh defeatedly, "but you are pretty mean sometimes, hobes."

that nickname. he loves that nickname. he loves even more that you were the one who gave it to him.

he hums thoughtfully before responding, "not to you though, and tha's what matters, don't you think?" you roll your eyes at him, shifting so that you're flat on your back now as you look up at him. you don't say anything more, only stare up at him with your pretty eyes, all glossy and shining under the dim light in your room. big, and so fucking innocent.

god. fuck.

hobie crawls over you slowly, keeping his eyes steadily on you as he does. he brings a hand to your cheek, stroking his thumb over your soft skin gently as he settles himself above you, and then he reaches his thumb to press into your chin so that he can get a good grip on your face. to keep you from gettin' all shy on him, ‘cause he knows you will when you realize what he’s about to do to you.

his eyes flit down to your lips when your tongue darts out to lick across your bottom one, all sensual like—or maybe hobie is getting too worked up. yeah, probably that, but whatever.

you sigh shakily when hobie starts to lean down closer. you're so pliant, laying there nice and still for him even though you're feeling nervous right now. because you trust him; there isn't anything hobie could do that would make you not trust him.

hobie has to keep himself from absolutely devouring you when his lips press to yours. he has to remind himself to be soft, to not be too aggressive so he doesn't scare you too much, or hurt you either; the weak little whine you let out as he kisses you does nothing to help his self-control stay intact though. thankfully, you grab tightly at his leather vest and tug for him to come closer, inviting him to press further into you and kiss you deeper.

hobie balances himself up on his knees as the hand that was holding him up comes to knead at your waist and tummy, feeling and rubbing there as gently as he can right now in his worked-up state—which is just barely enough for him not to leave imposing bruises on your skin from how much stronger he is compared to you. you don't seem to mind how tightly he holds onto you though, because you're still eagerly kissing him back, making all sorts of pleased little noises that hobie is all too happy to swallow up.

hobie only pulls away when you start squirming under him, signaling that you need to breathe. he wraps his arms around you and pulls you tight against his body as he nuzzles into your neck, inhaling your delicious scent and placing little kisses on your neck as you pant softly.

"you don't need another man, you know that love?" he ask you, tells you, after a while of the two of you just laying together.

"yeah, i guess i don't," you reply to him, airy and quiet, right before you fall asleep tucked nicely into his arms. exactly where you belong.

— ୨୧ —

jessica stops hobie one night right as he's about to leave and go see you.

"if miguel finds out about this, you know he's going to be pissed, right?” she says, coming up behind him. “maybe you can get off on a wrist slap for breaking small, stupid rules, but falling in love with a human is something miguel absolutely will not allow, hobie."

hobie scoffs and rolls his eyes but doesn’t reply, nor does he turn around to look at her. his emotions and feelings would be right on display for her if he did. she’d know well how much he fucked up, and that would be a hit to his pride. ‘specially since he always told her about his dislike for angels who fell for humans. 

"what’s ’at got anything to do with me, mm?" he decides to respond out of courtesy, turning his head to look at her through his peripheral, "i'm not in love with any human."

hobie knows that jessica knows that's a lie. it's obvious he's in love with you because of how different he's acting. doing his job right and all that, to some degree at least. breaking the 'don't get in physical contact your human' and 'don't fall in love with your human' rules aside, he's properly keeping up with his status reports about you, he's not off doing other things when he's supposed to be with you. he's being the good proper guardian angel he should be, and that is definitely out of character for hobie. it was really only a matter of time before someone found out. hobie is just lucky it was jessica who put two and two together first instead of miguel. then he’d have a real big problem on his hands. 

jessica sighs. "all the stuff miguel says about angels getting attached and falling for humans being dangerous is true, hobie, not just some control tactic to keep angels on a leash. it could cost your human their life, and you your job," she warns before leaving.

hobie always liked how not-pushy she is; it’s why he prefers her over miguel. but he thinks she's wrong, because he would never let you die. ever. he couldn’t care less about losing this shitty job though.

— ୨୧ —

the conversation with jess, as much as hobie hates to admit it, put a real damper on his mood. 

he's agitated when he gets to your apartment, showing up right in your room where he knows that you are because he can feel you there. and once he is there, he eases up a little bit. all of his racing thoughts seem to disappear when you come into his vision so he can see you now, not just feel you. seeing and feeling you is nice; it grounds him.

you jolt when you see him suddenly appear behind you in the reflection of the mirror that you're sitting in front of though. a gentle gasp falls from between your pretty lips as you whirl around quickly to look at him, eyes widening like a doe caught in headlights. you ease up quickly, realizing that it's just him; you sigh the words under your breath as you deflate a little bit, coming down from the brief bit of adrenaline you must have felt with him scaring you like that. 

goodness, aren't you just so delicate? it's a damn shame hobie's not supposed to go falling for a human, isn't it? a load of tosh that is.

he smirks, "sorry, love. didn't mean to scare you li' that,” he says easy, stepping forward until he's a few feet in front of you, looking down at you, looking up at him. your eyes are glimmering under the artificial light of the lamp settled next to the mirror. he thinks that even in such dodgy lighting, your eyes and soft expression are still utterly enrapturing. the soft, charming glow that the light provides to your features draws a pleased hum from hobie.

so pretty. you're so damn pretty.

"geez, hobes," you say, huffing as you look away from him and down at your lap, "you can't just keep randomly showing up like that; you may well give me a heart attack one of these days if you do." your laugh is music to his ears. airy, pitched, and sweet like the ripest peach. sweeter than the ripest peach.

an angel's voice is supposed to be the most beautiful sound, people say, but hobie disagrees. he would much rather listen to you talk or laugh all day long rather than ever have to hear another word uttered from his shitty coworkers' mouths.

"i would never let that happen to you," he says, tone shifting from playful to serious. hobie feels better that he’s with you now, but the bit jess said about you dying clings to him still. weasels it’s way into his thoughts and makes his stomach lurch. he’s buzzing, and not in the nice delightful kind of buzzing that you bring out of him, no. he just needs you right now. 

he needs to feel you—really feel you, beyond the way he feels your life force tied to him, fluctuating with your emotions and physical state. he needs to actually touch you, hold you.

hobie gets down onto his knees in front of you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you up into his chest as he does. you whimper in surprise at the sudden proximity between you and him, your hands instinctively grabbing at his shoulder and jacket to steady yourself, even with how tightly he's holding you against him because his presence just overwhelms you too much. he always makes you feel dizzy and weak in the knees. you can never seem to function, not without his help. but that's normal between humans and angels. you aren't made to handle him, you aren't supposed to, but that's okay; he can be as gentle as you need him to be. 

"look at me, love," hobie whispers, hooking a finger under your chin, nudging you to look at him. you squeak when your eyes meet his, no doubt incredibly flustered—he can feel that you are. can feel your pulse throbbing as heat rushes through your skin, radiating a dull warmth for him to sink into as his fingers dig deeper into your skin. he smirks, huffing out a faint laugh as he looks down at you, admiring you.

"there you go, sweetheart," he praises you softly, brushing the pad of his thumb across the slight curve of your bottom lip. your eyes flutter closed briefly as you take a shaky breath, and then you open them again, watching him intently, and god does it make hobie feel all sorts of things. 

"'m never gonna let anyone or anything hurt you," he murmurs, tightening his grip around your waist and holding you firmly against his chest with each word uttered, “you’re too precious for me to be careless with you like i am the rest of the shitty people in this shitty world. only you matter to me, yeah? just you and nobody fucking else.” he finishes quietly, dipping down to kiss lightly on your cheeks, one on each side, and then another on your forehead, drawn-out and lingering even after he pulls away.

you're practically melting in his hold by the time he does pull away, so pliable and warm, and you're looking at him with hooded eyes that you can barely keep open. delirious as you are, utterly suffocated by him, your grip on his shoulder and jacket is still relentless, unwavering, as if he would slip away from you if you loosened up the tiniest bit. you want him, need him, near to you as much as he wants you near, really. it's not just him with all of these intense, overwhelming and all-consuming emotions; it's you too.

“hobie,” you whine, nearly breathless, “can you– can we please kiss again? on the… the lips?” you plead, tugging at his jacket in desperation.

“anything for you, sweetheart,” hobie whispers, leaning forward until his mouth is hovering over yours, breathing you in slowly before he finally closes them together. he kisses you slow and tender, taking his time in savoring how delicious you taste. you sigh contentedly, tilting your head to the side and parting your lips for his tongue to delve inside of your mouth.

the hand he has wrapped around your waist slides across your body, feeling every dip and curve down to your thigh, where he grabs at gently, swinging it up to his hip as he pushes off the floor. your legs wrap around him instinctively to hold yourself up in his arms as he carries you across the room to your bed, his lips never once parting away from yours as he does. his other hand is holding your chin and jaw in place so that you can't pull away from him either, wanting as much contact with you at a time as he can get away with. he knows you wouldn't pull away from him so easily, but he likes controlling the kiss, likes it when you let him lead the way and guide your body with his. 

hobie carefully sits down on the bed and leans back against the wall, settling you into his lap comfortably before his hand starts roaming all over your body; along your hips and over your thighs, squeezing the fat in his hands before moving back up and dipping under your shirt to feel at your tummy. you moan and whimper into the kiss, shivering under his touch when his hand grazes along especially sensitive areas of your body. 

when hobie pulls away you're panting and dazed, humming mindlessly in pleasure as hobie starts pressing kisses down your jaw and neck. his teeth graze lightly along the sensitive flesh beneath your ear teasingly before his tongue dips out to lick delicately at the spot, making your body thrum and pulsate in delectation. he nips once at your skin before finally pulling away to look at you, to savor how much of a mess he was able to make you into with a heated kiss. and god do you look absolutely stunning like this. swollen lips parted as you breath out small puffs of air, hooded eyelids, and your clothes are entirely disheveled from where hobie had pushed them up and slid his hands under. 

fuck, you’re lovely.

"you look a mess, sweetheart," he rasps fondly, running his fingertips lightly along your hips and thighs.

"'ts your fault," you mumble, falling into his chest and nuzzling your nose into his neck, exhaling softly as you close your eyes and relax. hobie wraps both of his arms around you and rubs your back gently, soothing you until you hum contentedly.

"yeah, i suppose it is, isn't it?" he agrees quietly, not wanting to disrupt your somnolence. 

hobie lays with you in his arms for hours after that, listening intently to your steady heartbeat and soft, rhythmic breathing, every now and then feeling you shift with a cute disgruntled little huff whenever you've stayed in one position for too long. hobie loves your sleepy, content little sounds, loves the way your fingers curl around his vest; even in your sleep you're still clinging onto him, because you need him, and he loves it. 

hobie loves you.

— ୨୧ —

hobie knows he's not supposed to interfere with fate. it's against the rules, or whatever bullshit excuse everyone says it is. hobie didn't really care that much about it before because he's never cared about anyone enough to ever want to change their fate, but now he has you, and you need him more than ever to keep you safe, to keep you from dying. 

god, he doesn't know how it happened, but you were crying for him so desperately. curled on the floor, gasping for air and clutching onto life with weak claws, you were calling his name. it was like sensory overload, hearing every strewn-out letter of his name mixed in with your sobs, with the incessantly throbbing and pulsating of your life force weakening, slowly and agonizing. 

the second you had been put in danger, hobie felt it. all throughout his body and deep within his soul, he felt you dying. there was a shift in the air at that moment, a suffocating, excruciatingly tense one that everyone around hobie had noticed; jess and miguel, and his best friend pavitr. 

they all yelled and screamed at him that he couldn't go to you, lunging to stop him as he fumbled for the watch that would help him get to you the fastest, but the noise they made was dull and muffled in comparison to the way you cried for him. and god did it feel like he was getting stabbed through the heart mercilessly every time that you did. how dare they ever expect him to just listen to then when you were in so much fucking pain, all alone and the only one you wanted was him. 

he had to save you. fuck the rules and fuck his shitty job; you were far more important to him than any of that. it didn’t matter to hobie that in order to save you he had to enchain his soul with yours, it didn't matter to him that he would share every bit of pain with you now, even your last breath if you ever took it, because hobie would rather give up his entire being to you than ever have to live without you.

© 2023 by kolyasobsession━all rights reserved. modification, reproduction or plagiarism of my works and theme are strictly prohibited. likes, comments, and reblogs are highly appreciated.

[writingsbychlo]

HOW TO SAVE A LIFE | rhysand

summary; trapped under the mountain, starfall has always been your favourite holiday and you miss it. tonight, this time, you have one opportunity to share it with someone.

word count; 5577

notes; starfall day 3!! but also, go easy on me, I didn't proofread this. it's like midnight here, I am exhausted, let's not judge obvious mistakes 😅 also, please note, this takes place UTM, and references to rhys' SA are alluded to, so read with caution!!

‘how to save a life’ moodboard

The corridors were utterly silent as you paced up and down. Back and forth, back and forth. Your eyes flickered to the shadows across the floor moving through the open windows, your only way of measuring how much time passed was with the moon’s manipulations. As the shadows encroached closer and closer to the small scuff you’d marked as your limit on the floor, you gave a heavy sigh. 

Your thumb was in your mouth, chewing the nail anxiously, and as that thought came into focus, you removed it, scoffing idly at yourself. You weren’t in trouble. Yet. In fact, you could leave right now, and nobody would have even known it was you, you’d fly right under the radar, as you’d always done, and bring no attention to yourself. 

Who were you kidding? You weren’t going anywhere. Not even as the ceaseless pounding of your heart threatened to crack your ribs, not even as the lingering fear in the back of your mind about what you’d already done to get here made you dizzy. You were waiting it out. 

Your gaze flickered back to the silvery streaks pouring in through the window. 

Time’s almost up.

You finally paused your pacing, staring down at it as darkness crept out of silver, marking your timer. You waited for a second longer, lifting the edge of your dress and poking at it with a scuffed shoe. 

This is it.

You weren’t sure whether it was crushing relief or crushing disappointment weighing you down, that sank your shoulders into a slump that made you feel as though you were holding up the whole world. Shaking out a sigh and loosening your shoulders, that relaxation lasted for only a second, before a dark chuckle emanate from the shadows, and you were whipping around to peer into them. 

You didn’t see him at first, gaping at the darkness until he stepped out, looking every bit like a devil dressed in finery. Purple eyes glowing in the moonlight, the sharp lines of his face like jagged peaks in the dark of the hall, tall and intimidating, with a sinister smirk sat on his lips. 

“You, Little Mouse, are the one who called me here?” Like magic - well, with magic - the letter you’d scrawled in a hurry and slipped under his door mere hours ago appeared between his fingers. Scratchy, torn brown parchment, with other notes and lists and words scribbled out and crossed, reused over and over because it was all you had. 

You steeled your nerves, rolling your shoulders back and tipping your chin up to look at him as he stepped close, close enough to smell the luxurious soap that had your head spinning once again. “I did.”

Your voice only trembled a little as you spoke, and you were proud to get the words out at all. You’d never been afraid of Rhysand, but at this moment, as all that big half-Illyrian warrior and High Lord stood before you, you’d be a fool not to be at least a little intimidated. “For what?” 

He all but purred the words, smirk widening a little more, brows rising at you and his head cocked to the side. 

“A bargain… a fuck… a good look at true power? What could you,” He cast a scornful and slow stare over your body, the torn rags you called a dress, the scuffed and scratched shoes, the messy hair and dirt under your fingernails that made you hide your hands behind your back. “Possibly want from me?”

Your mouth dropped open, words silenced as you tried to work out what to say to him, but his sneer made you second-guess yourself. Maybe this was a bad idea, maybe everything you thought was wrong, maybe-

You didn’t get a chance to think any further, before the sound of pounding footsteps and angry voices bouncing off of the stone walls made every decision for you. If you were caught here, lowly and unworthy up in the higher courtrooms of the mountain palace, you’d be flogged for sure. Worse, they’d be sure to get the truth out of you, sure to get the truth of everything you’d done just to get here tonight. 

For that, they’d kill you.

In a spur of boldness that you’d most likely come to regret, your arm shot out, saving him as well as yourself as your nimble fingers wrapped around his muscle-corded forearm. Even through heavy layers of expensive black silk shirts and embroidered blazers, you could feel him tense at the abrupt contact. Dragging him along behind you, you didn’t hesitate, weaving through corridors and pathways, past floor-to-ceiling windows and being sure to remain out of sight. 

He spluttered behind you for the first few seconds, almost enough to pull a smile at your lips with the image of the terrifying Lord of Night spluttering, but your panic was far too high to even entertain that kind of thought right now. He yanked his arm free, a growl on his lips as your fingernails scratched at the soft fabric of his blazer, surely messing up some of the threads, but right now, your adrenaline was too high to be concerned with such trivial fears. 

Everywhere you turned, voices could be hurried; hurried and panicked and frantic. Boots marched, people corralled out of their way, heels tapping and weapons scraping along the floor as they were dragged. A busy, busy night indeed. 

All your fault, a voice taunted in your head, a tendril of regret finally making itself known as you fled. Despite it all, curiosity seemed to have gotten the best of Rhysand, because he was following you, despite your grip no longer being on him. He could have stopped you, even with all that dark power suppressed he would possess enough to freeze every cell in your body to his command with nothing but a wink, and yet, he didn’t. 

His long legs carried him at more of a fast walk to your hurried run behind you, and you jerked with shock when you felt the sharp scratch of an icy talon, then two, then three, scratched down your thick mental barriers. You could feel a ripple of twisted fascination burst from him at encountering any walls at all, at someone who knew how to track and resist a daemati. 

The tall doors at the end of your final corridor beckoned you forward, with intricate designs etched into the front, and thick wood that would hide you both on the other side. You’d already picked the locks, your feet finally slowing down as relief enough to make you almost collapse as you came to a halt before them. Twisting the knob with a prayer that nobody had somehow discovered your plan, locked them again to keep you out, a shaky laugh left you as the door creaked open with just a little pressure. 

Nothing but inky darkness spilt out from inside, and you stepped into it, welcoming its cold embrace and its camouflage, its protection. He followed you in, stepping through with one graceful stride, and your back collapsed onto it to push it closed, a heavy sigh leaving you as your heart rate began to even back out at last. Now, you could barely make out the silhouette of him before you, but you could feel his presence all around, like a weighted blanket closing in. 

His stare was even heavier, you didn’t need to see those violet eyes to feel the depth of them on you.

You smiled anyway, wondering if he could see you through the dark, another gift those lucky High Fae perhaps had that your lowly kind did not. Your steps were rehearsed, pacing across the room, acutely aware of where he was as he followed, just from the buzz of his leaking power on the air, all the way to the window at the far side of the room. Scraping back heavy curtains on either side of clear glass doors, you’d already picked those locks too in preparation. 

Swinging the doors open and stepping out into milky moonlight on the terrace, you took your first real breath of fresh air in weeks, sighing happily at the cold breeze of the early-Spring night.

The curse trapping you both here shimmered before you, barely an inch from the edge of the stone, and you reached out, never touching it, never risking letting it tell of your true location, but hovering your hand before it, feeling the cruel zap in warning of Amarantha’s boundaries. Never to escape, never to leave, trapped here Under The Mountain.

Your peace was shattered by the rough, animal growl of the man behind you, patience audibly fraying.

“Alright, Little Mouse, I’ve played your game. But, you know how it ends when the cat catches the prey, so what do you want?”

Finally, you turned to face him, hands clenching once again behind your back, hoping this time it would hide the tremor as your intentions were finally to be revealed. “I want nothing.”

“Everyone wants something from me. So, what is it?” He stepped a fraction closer, a snarl curling on his lips, ugly power taking over a handsome face.

“Alright, fine.” You mused, stepping a footstep closer to him as well. “What I wanted… was for you to see the sky.”

He visibly faltered, for all the roles he played and the masks he wore, this one slipped for just a second, his eyes widening as though it was a riddle, brows furrowing even deeper, and scowl twisting to a frown of confusion. “Why?”

“Because it is Starfall tonight.”

This time, his mask didn’t just falter, it crumbled entirely, the façade coming crashing down around his feet as his jaw dropped. His throat bobbed as he swallowed thickly, gaze flicking over you in an entirely new light now, eyes narrowing to assess you but no malice behind those pretty iris’ now. “You know of Starfall?”

“Of course. It is my favourite holiday.”

An unsteady breath rushed from him, like he’d taken a hit to the lungs, eyes widening as he stared. His shoulders slumped, rigid posture melting away until he looked positively world-weary, arms hanging by his sides. It was then that he wiped a hand over his face, realising a tired laugh, and you wrapped your arms loosely around yourself. 

He didn’t recognise you, of course he didn’t you’d been counting on it for this plan to work. You just didn’t realise how cold and lonely actually having that fact acknowledged would make you feel. Rolling up one tatty sleeve of your dress to reveal swirls of blank ink beginning to climb up your forearm from your wrist, his eyes somehow seemed to widen further.

He took your wrist in his hand, your fingers tightening to a fist as a shocked gasp sounded, his touch like fire and warmth and comfort all in one as he gripped you firmly, but cautiously. Turning your arm over in his hold, he pushed your sleeve all the way up to your bicep, tracing the patterns with one fingertip, touch so light it made you shiver. Your bargain marks, messy and rough and ugly, just like the deals you’d had to strike which resulted in them.

“These… these are bargain marks. These are Night Court marks.” He traced again, thumb swiping over the pulse point on your wrist, feeling the race of it under the pad, before lowering the fabric back down to cover them again, and releasing your arm. “The marks of my court.”

His voice cracked, something within you shattering at the sound of it, and you choked down a well of thick emotion as you thought of home, for the first time in a very long while. One a whisper as broken as his voice had been, you uttered; “Yes.”

Too much weight in his stare, too many memories of a place you missed like a lost lover, too many bargains made here just to survive. 

It was all so horrible. 

“I didn’t know. I had no idea anyone from my court was here.”

There were questions loaded in that sentence. How did you get here? Why are you trapped? Who brought you? What was your reason? You wanted to answer them all, but at first, a single shrug was all that came to mind. It was so overwhelming, not only to be standing here, finally talking to the one person who could understand your longing for home, but to be standing here with your High Lord, someone you’d spent centuries admiring, decades pitying, and months plotting for.

This time, it was he who attempted a smile in comfort. It helped.

“I was travelling at the time. Seeing all of Prythian, and finding work wherever I could to find my adventure.” A horrible feeling you’d spent so long crying over worming its way back in. 

You’d spent so long dreaming of getting away from the Night Court, to explore and see the rest of the continent, of the world, and now it was all you wanted to go back. To stay forever, curled up on the windowsill of a cosy apartment that overlooked the glowing lights of Velaris, close enough to hear the music from the Rainbow and hear the happy voices, watch the snow fall or bluebells sprout. You wanted it so badly it ached.

“At the time of…” You waved a hand, throat stinging as you wrestled with emotion, unable to even say the words of this foul curse aloud, even after centuries, “I was working for the Vanserra’s. No one important, as it had always been for me, but they always bring their own staff to the parties. In case you hadn't noticed, Beron is quite high-maintenance, and Eris is terribly paranoid and suspicious.”

A laugh burst from him, rough and grating and unsteady, like he hadn't used it in so long, but it blossomed something in your chest that you thought had died long ago.

“I was one of the lowly serving staff they brought with them that fateful night, to keep Lady Autumn’s glass filled with wine, so she’d never have to lift a single finger. Unfortunately, that meant that when they were trapped, I was too. All that wish for adventure. I got a little more excitement than I bargained for, I suppose.” 

Silence settled, the story hanging between you like mist on the morning air, your head turning and gaze shifting to the twinkling stars overhead. Several minutes seemed to pass as he processed it all, and decided what to say next, a hand skimming your shoulder lightly, as though hesitant to dare touch you at all. “Why did you never come to me, before tonight?”

The laugh that tumbled from your lips was self-pitying and sad. Running your hands over the tatty skirt you wore, it felt obvious. 

He was, arguably, beside Amarantha, the most important person here. You were nobody. He wore a new suit embellished with gold and silver, you wore a dirty dress that had more patches and sewing than the original fabric. He smelled of fresh soap and aftershave, you smelled of bleach from scrubbing the floors and cinders from the fireplaces. He slept in silk sheets on a big bed, all to himself, you’d been sharing a dormitory for ten years with scratchy bedding and broken mattresses. 

And yet, you wouldn't trade with him for all the riches in the world. Your anonymity was all that protected you.

You were nobody. You meant nothing. But tonight, just tonight, you had the chance to be something.

“To what end? We’re both trapped, you have your role to play, and I have mine.”

His smile was as weak and empty as your laugh was. “It’s been ten years. I could have… I could have don’t something to help, made life easier for you, so that you weren’t so alone.”

There was a pain in his voice, a kind of ongoing struggle you’d come to terms with years ago, but it was like a fresh slice across sensitive skin for him. You reached out, hand hovering lightly over his arm, unsure whether or not it was your place. Then again, it was a barrier you’d already crossed in an adrenaline-fuelled panic. Settling your hand lightly onto his forearm, you squeezed gently, hoping it was as reassuring for him as you intended. 

“I don’t know how-”

“It’s okay, truly.” Your throat bobbed, the informality of this whole situation was surreal, only the chill in the air, wind whistling through rips in threadbare fabric keeping you grounded. “I was never alone, it’s hard ever to be alone around here. It was just lonely.”

He hummed, a non-committal response, and his mind seemed elsewhere. A heavy sigh, and then his head tipped back, eyes moving to watch the motionless stars twinkle in the sky. It wasn’t until the third shaky breath and slight sniff, hands clenching by his side, that you realised he was choking back powerful emotions. For you.

“Please, don’t worry for me, my Lord.” Your hand swept comfortingly, twice, up and down his arms, that fist of that hand smoothed out when your fingers brushed his the pulse on his wrist. Words, hanging on the tip of your tongue, dangerous and risky and presumptive, but it felt like the two of you had far surpassed those kinds of barriers by now. “It looks far lonelier and far more hurtful at the Queen’s side than where I am.”

His head snapped back down, all that anguish temporarily banished from swirling violet eyes as he studied you once again. It was like a thousand thoughts flashing through his mind too fast for you to read in his eyes. Your lungs were frozen, burning for air but unable to take any oxygen in, eyes wide and body locked as you waited. He was putting something together, he knew, his lips pressing into a thin line and you didn’t know whether this would flip it all over wrongly. 

His head cocked to the side, licking over one lip, before the edges of his lips were flickering at the edges, just slightly. 

“It was you.”

“What was me?” You’d always been a bad liar, gaze flicking away from his and it was your turn now to let the stars distract you. A talon, scraping at your mental shields again, a warning that he could if he wanted to, break through and you’d never even know. Instead, a single finger hooked under your chin, turning your face back to him. 

“It was you. You, who suddenly unearthed this mysterious prophecy about the human girl breaking the curse. You, who has Amarantha on such a wild goose chase that she has no time for… me. At least, not for a while.” He looked awed now, a reassured expression, and his hand slipped from your chin up, to cup your face. Your throat was tight, painfully so, the simple bit of affection making your eyes water and the truth poured from you in a nod. “You were so scared in the halls, pacing and fretting before I even got there. Your fear was heavy in the air. When you heard the voices and the footfalls, you fled. It was you.”

“It was me.” His breath raced from him, lips parted, and you raised your own hand. Holding his to your face, you stole a few selfish seconds, head tipping further into his palm as his thumb swept over your cheekbone; a few sacred moments of comfort. “Buying you a few hours to yourself on this night was the least I could do, my Lord. You may not have known I was here, but some of your actions, the small mercies you disguise as cruelties, have done more for me than you could ever know.”

“Call me Rhysand. Please.” He was fighting tears, much the same as you were, and his other hand joined the first, holding your face up to his own as he stepped a little closer. The warmth from his body was like a magnet you, swayed toward him, the moonlight glowing on his skin like it was made to decorate him and him alone. “At least… at least, when we’re alone. I don’t want to be anything but myself with you. You see me. You’re the only person down here who does..”

You didn’t have to force a smile anymore. It was the first one that felt honestly genuine in years. His thumbs swept a couple more times, before his arms were shaking with restraint, and he pulled them away. Silence settled around you both. With one more glance at the stars, your arms wrapped around yourself, and you turned back to him. “Enjoy the stars, Rhysand.”

There would be nothing to see, no falling stars and souls finding their way. But, just knowing that it was happening out there, watching these ones stay still and twinkle gently, it was enough to feel connected to home, just for a little while. Stepping away from him, the loneliness creeping back up already felt suffocating, like ice water ready to drag you into the darkness and the depths. 

His hand shot out, fingers wrapping around your own, firm but gentle, insistent but pleading. “Please- please, don’t go. Stay with me. Spend Starfall with me?”

It was an offer like you could only dream of, to spend Starfall with someone else once again, someone who knew. You had no idea how to say yes, mouth hanging open, but he seemed to get the gist, lips curling into a real smile now. Not the cruel grin he wore every day, not the cocky smirk. This was real, this was beauty and emotions and trust. 

“Yes?”

“Yes. I would like that.” This opportunity could never happen again, and so you weren’t going to let it just fly past like a misguided star. He tugged you back a little closer, letting your hand go when you fell into place by his side, and his body dropped any remaining tension. He rested his hands on the railing, cautious not to touch that barrier of the curse, and tapping the space beside him for you to join. 

You did, the two of you staring out quietly at the vast lands, the bright skies, the empty space; nobody ever dared near the centre of the horrid curse killing the lands.

“I miss the grass.”

“I have a friend… a brother, who has terrible allergies. Even a speck of pollen, and he’s sneezing and eyes running.” A wistful look took over his features, amusement and nostalgia crackling under the surface. “It’s quite the sight to see a warlord sneeze and curse at a flower.”

Your mind followed, reeling a little as the puzzle pieces clicked into place. “General Cassian… has hay fever?”

“Don’t tell him I told you, he’d string me up by my boxers from the pillars of the moonstone palace.” The sounds of your laughter bounced off of the stony sides of the mountain, echoes disappearing into the tonight, mixed with his deep chuckles. A kind of harmony formed, peace, a small bubble of a happy memory like a light amongst so much darkness. You’d look back on this moment for years, possibly decades to come, relishing in the way it felt to smile again, to have companionship and real happiness, even if it didn’t last long. “I miss the smell of the Sidra just after it rains.”

“I miss watching the snow fall at Solstice.”

“I miss the way it would feel after the snow melted, that first truly warm day.”

It somehow became a game, swapping back and forth, each thing you missed. Some were funny, others nostalgic, some were his royal experiences that made his cheeks heat and sweet chuckles leave his lips when you teased him, others had the same experience on you. 

The conversation shifted, he asked you all about your travels, told you of his favourite places he’d seen in different courts, and asked you if you’d ever been there. He told you stories about all of his adventures, as you did for him, watching the moon slowly inching its way across the dark sky as you confided in one another, all your deepest pain and joy and excitement. He told you about his friends, the shadow singer, the general, the terrifying creature from another world. He was so passionate, he loved so deeply, that by the time he’d finished, you felt as though you knew them too, like you loved them too.

Then, when your cheeks ached and your stomach was sore from all the laughing, when every happy memory had been shared, reality set back in once again. 

“I miss home.”

“Me too.” With your simple response, his gaze fixed once again above your heads, so far away and yet you longed to be there.

“It's- it’s just so godsdamned nice, that just one person knows I’m not a villain.” His words startled you, a fresh batch of pain, something deep and primal exposed like an open wound right to the heart. When you turned to face him, he was staring at the stars, but soft trails of moonlight trickled in fat tears down his cheeks. “Sometimes, so many days pass by where I can’t even look at myself in the mirror, where I can’t even bear the sound of my own name, knowing the way it’ll go down in history. This, this night, your company and your kindness, it makes it feel worth it. That just one person will not hate me, for the rest of my life, makes it feel like it's enough.”

When he finally faced you, wet cheeks and red eyes and exposed vulnerability, you gave him the same comfort he’d given you. With hands on his cheeks to wipe away those tears, you gave your best smile, letting his head hang heavily in your palms for a while. “You’ll never be the villain in my story, Rhysand.”

His lip wobbled, and he twisted his head, lips brushing your palm as he pressed a series of fragile, trembling kisses there. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Your shiver wasn’t from the cold, but from his blatant affection. At the act, however, his pained look became dismayed, glancing over your thin attire with disappointment. He stood, reluctantly peeling your hands from his face long enough to slide down the large blazer he wore, and slipping it over your shoulders. When he pulled the lapels tightly around your body, the plush lining, still filled with his body heat, was like wrapping up in front of the fireplace, on the very rare occasions you could steal a minute to do so. 

With a roll of his shoulders, those magnificent wings you’d only ever seen from afar were visible, appearing before your very eyes as though from thin air, as though they’d always been there, only veiled, and you stared unabashedly in amazement. 

Stepping closer, until you were so close your breath bounced off of his chest and you could pick out the threads in his shirt, he wrapped them around you, sealing out cold wind and the rest of the world. 

“Better?”

“Better.” You whispered, and his resulting look of pride warmed you as much from the inside as he did from the outside. After only a brief moment of consideration, you freed one arm, looping it slowly around his waist. When he only tugged you closer, your other arm joined it. Settling your cheek against his shoulder, he moulded his body to your arm, thick arms wrapping around your body in return, sealing you to him in a hug neither of you intended to let go from any time soon. 

His lips traced the top of your head as he turned, a few kisses dotted affectionately along your hairline, drawing happy sighs from you each time. When his head dipped a little further, lips near your temple, it was to quietly murmur, “Would you like to see the stars falling?”

You pulled back, barely a fraction as he refused to let you go at all, but enough to stare up at him. “How?”

“I still have a little of my powers, such as hiding these magnificent wings.” His smirk was positively feline, the nosey Lord having pulled that tidbit from your mind, and warmth raced to your cheeks. “I can show you some of my memories from previous years, if you trust me?”

Another tap of claws on your walls, a soft stroke like a finger over your skin, and you lowered your shields slowly to allow him inside. As soon as you did, you could feel him everywhere. Swarming in your thoughts, filling your head like you were both in there, and giving as much of his feelings away as it did yours. You could feel the relief at knowing someone else’s touch, that lingering guilt for not having known you but the borderline bliss at being here right now. The elation, at being trusted. The joy of having someone to share home with. 

Your eyes fluttered closed on his command, as he began to play the memories over.

Glimpses of parties, of stars and fireworks and sequins and fancy dresses. Twirling and dancing, intoxicated fun, and when you saw Azriel or Cassian or Mor, you felt his love for them like you’d feel your own. It was like seeing it through your own eyes. In this memory, he was making his way through the palace, the House of Wind atop the mountain. 

You’d seen drawings and pictures, of course, glimpsed it from afar on clear days, but nothing had ever compared to these real images of seeing the palace home. It was breathtakingly beautiful. Tall pillars and columns made of marble and moonstone, carved and designed with intricate swirls and stories. Open balconies, large rooms, enough space that it would take you days to learn your way around, and that was just the small glimpses of it you could see now. 

Eventually, he made it to the balcony, one hand braced on the stone as he stared out across Velaris down below, so far and tiny and beautiful, a vibrant ache in your heart as you longed to be back there, one that matched in his own through the connection you’d forged. 

You watched on, as his attention turned to the sky, to the falling stars, glittery and soaring and so close. So colourful up close, you’d never seen such a sight, like being immersed within the colour, becoming a part of nature temporarily, leaving you breathless and high on the feeling. 

You watched and watched, as he once had, what felt like hours slipping by until it came to an end, and your cheeks felt wet when you finally felt him pull back from your mind. Not entirely, no, a piece of him was still lingering there behind your consciousness, a comforting weight, but your senses were all back, like your spirit had sunk back into your body.

“Thank you for showing me that.”

“Incredible, isn’t it?” 

“That stars,” you breathed, “I’ve never seen it so clearly. They were so close, like you could just reach out and touch them.”

He wiped away your tears with one arm, the other still sealed tightly around you, soon to be rejoined. “You can, and when we get out of here someday, I’ll show it to you. I’ll show you so much, give you so much.”

There was nothing else to say, no more words that could fathom this feeling. But, you didn’t need them. You knew that he knew, his presence in your mind was sure to trace it. So, instead, you just snuggled in closer, cheek on his shoulder once again, and eyes sliding closed as you let yourself sink fully into his embrace. 

He needed this as much as you did, a two-way street now opened between your minds, and a selfish part of you hoped he never took it away, that even when you were alone, you’d never be lonely again. That fraction of darkness in your mind flickered, as if making a promise.

“Why? Why did you do this for me?” He eventually asked, the question that had been hovering all night. “When I have done nothing for you?”

“Because, Rhysand, I have seen you from afar. You’ve seemed so empty, lately. I wanted to give you something to remind you to hold on.”

He’s breathless, you could feel it under your own thudding heart as his pulse raced and he panted softly into your hairline, trying to settle. “Someday, I’ll take you home. Back to Velaris, where we belong. I’ll make up for everything you’ve had to go through. You’ll never want for anything, you’ll never be alone again. But, while we’re still here, I’ll make up for these ten years I’ve missed already. What can I do, what do you want first?”

“Those are beautiful promises, Rhysand, and I appreciate them, but I don’t need them. All I want, all I need, is a friend. To not be so alone.”

“Never again, darling. Never again, will I let you be alone. It’s me and you, now.” He squeezed you in, another kiss to the top of your head, and you pressed into it, leaving a single kiss to his jaw in return. “Happy Starfall, darling.”

“Happy Starfall, Rhysand.”

[hoffmanxfurthermore]

Right Now You're Feeling Helpless

(REVISED VERSION)

So I sent the story to my friend and he kinda rewrote it for me. He's a way better writer than I haha. Enjoy!!

Content warning: bondage/dominance,  rough sex, aftercare, sadism, masochism, teasing, cussing, dirty talk, pain, nsfw, 18+, mark hoffman x reader, p in v penetration, possible cnc??? Literally just straight up porn w little context bc i can't write anything else lmao.

Just another Thank-Hell- it's Friday night.. Laying alone on your bed, waiting on your partner to get home..it'll be late again. He's investigating the latest Jigsaw murder. It has become much more difficult to disguise his planning of this particular murder, hard for him to fly under the radar. You'd peeked in his drawer earlier in the day. The drawings of it made you feel some type of raw and savage way. There was something about how the person was suspended that was more than just slightly arousing. 

The thin tank top feels perfectly tight and totally matches with your sexy black underwear. You lay back on the bed, closing your eyes as your fingertips graze your already rock-hard nipples. 

Mark hated it when you pleased yourself without him there, but you figured he wouldn't be home for another hour or two. You are too excited for him right now to wait. Since he hates it, in a way, you love it because he will always respond by being so rough with you.. And he was so good at it. Anticipation of the punishment he will visit upon you makes the excitement grow to an unbearable level. The urge to touch yourself is unstoppable now.

Lifting your tank top with one hand, your other hand moves down your body and slips between your legs. You've just barely started to think about him, but you're already getting so wet..clear silky liquid is dripping down your pussy lips and the crack of your ass. Fuck, you need it so much right now!

Pulling off your panties, you drop them on the floor next to you. Then your tank top. Closing your eyes and moaning softly, yearning for him to pound you as you slide your fingers in between your soaking wet lips, you gasp for breath at the first touch of your wet hole. Completely absorbed in the thought of being filled by him, you don't even hear him come in or notice him standing at the foot of the bed, watching. 

"What the hell is this?" He demands. 

Your eyes snap open, and you gasp, quickly pulling your glistening wet hand from between your legs.

"Mark! I-" 

"You just couldnt wait for me to get home, could you?" 

His shoes, jacket, and tie were already off, and he's working on unbuttoning his shirt. 

"I wasn't expecting you for a couple more hours, and I just couldn't wait!" You stammered as he quickly finished getting undressed, his eyes piercing into your soul with the dark intensity that betrays the power he is about to unleash in you.

Like lightning, he climbs on top of you, pinning you down. You gasp in instinctual fear but are quickly overcome with exhilaration by his power and although you are momentarily scared, you also feel a sense of comfort as his weight bears down on you, his legs spreading out on top of yours, and his feet pushing your ankles into the mattress, making you fully unable to move. He was already rock hard and throbbing right against your sensitive clit, the pre-cum dripping out making it hard for the tip of his cock to stay still, it slips with pressure against your throbbing clit.

"I don't care, you wait for me," he said, sinking his thick cock deep inside you. As it fills you inch by inch, seeming to continue stretching deeper and deeper inside..you cry out in pleasure.

His hands are wrapped around your wrists tightly, holding them on either side of your head. His knees hold your thighs down. You are sure to have bruises later.. but dont care. His hips are resting against yours, and he is deep inside you. He's not moving at all, chuckilng as you struggle against him and whine, desperate for just a little friction. He just smiles down at you, absolutely loving observing you like this. As he bends down, pushing his bare chest against yours, his deep voice in your ear:

"Right now, you're feeling helpless."

Every one of your nerve endings is hypersensitive. Between the sharp pain in your wrists and thighs, his warm skin against yours, and let's not forget the feeling of his lips grazing your ear slightly, you can't help but let a moan escape your lips. In response, he nibbles your earlobe gently.

Mark isn't just teasing you, but himself as well. More than anything the man wanted to just fuck the hell out of you until you couldn't walk. But he is savoring how needy, desperate, and defenseless you are.

"Mark... please... I need to feel you..." You whine. Feeling him throbbing against your walls wasn't enough. He hasn't moved at all except to shove himself inside you, but you could already feel a pool of wetness collecting on the sheet as you continue trying desperately to writhe and wriggle for the slightest feel of his shaft moving inside of you.

He moves your arms over your head, crossing your wrists and holding them with one hand. His other hand made its way to your neck, his fingertips squeezing on the sides gently..but very firmly.

"How does this feel?," he asks softly, his deep voice in your ear making you shudder.

"Fuck.." You gasp for breath, overwhelmed by the symphony of sensation overtaking your soul. 

He leans into your chest again, tightening his grip on your wrists but letting your neck go as his other hand slowly travels down your body. Breathing heavily into your ear, his roughly calloused hand cups your right breast, squeezing it with pleasure for you both.

"You're so pretty," he whispers in your ear as he moves his knees off your legs. You breathe a sigh of relief because, though you didn't wanna say anything, it was actually pretty painful. You said nothing, not because you were scared of his reaction..you trust Mark with your life. You just love how he has you pinned like that. And you know he enjoys it too.

Gently releasing your wrists, he tells you to stay put and to close your eyes. You do, and let out a noise that sounded like a moan and a whine at the same time as he gets off the bed, pulling his dick out of your dripping hole. The sudden empty feeling leaves you feeling needy as you hear a metallic clicking noise. You feel him pulling you up the bed and more metallic clicking noises as you feel something hard and cold around your wrists. Opening your eyes, you realise he's handcuffed you to the metal bars of the bed frame.

You look at Mark, whose eyes are full of lust as he looks at you for a moment, just taking in the sight of you. Biting your lip and smiling, your eyes travel over his naked body. 

You aren't saying anything, but begging with your eyes. Taking advantage of that, he starts stroking his cock, still slick with your juices. Looking you in the eyes, he moans and bites his lip. 

You're struggling against the cuffs, moving your hips, and opening your legs. Wanting him so bad, hating how he's teasing you, but loving it at the same time. You feel like a bratty little spoiled fuckhole just waiting for it.

Another moan escapes his lips as you stare at him, your pussy is twitching watching him stroke his thick cock.

"Mark," you moan, pleading, "please..." 

"Mmmm y/n you sound so desperate.. I love it." He spits on his hand and jerks his cock faster, looking at you. 

Feeling your juices drip down between your ass cheeks, you pull so hard on the cuffs that you feel like they're going to cut you. Your nipples are still rock hard and your pussy is throbbing, aching for his cock. You rub your thighs together, desperate for just a little stimulation.

"Tell me what you want," he groans, his voice shaky, still stroking himself.

"I want you... to fuck me...." You say. 

"Yeah? Beg me."

"Please... please fuck me...." You whine, wigging your hips.

"Mmm," is all he says in response. 

"Fuck me hard.. please... I need your cock," you cry out, barely able to take any more teasing.

"Not good enough." He smirks at you, loving hearing you beg. 

"Give me your fucking cock, Mark!" You yell desperately, like you're going to die if he doesn't fuck you. 

"Fuuuuck," he groans, gripping his cock tight, drops of pre cum starting to leak from the tip.

"Fuck you Mark, you're doing this on purpose," you cry, closing your eyes, the throbbing in your pussy becoming too much to bare.

In the 2 seconds that your eyes are closed, Mark is on top of you, roughly shoving his cock deep inside your needy cunt. 

"FUCK!" You yell, surprised, "fuck me, please, fuck me!" 

His hands are spreading your thighs apart, his fingertips digging into your skin as he thrusts himself in and out. 

He fucks you hard and deep, low groans emitting from his lips as his balls slam against you. 

"Oh my fucking god... Mark... I'm gonna..." before you know it, an orgasm rips through your whole body. Mark had you really worked up, but you weren't aware of how much until he was actually inside you.

But he keeps the same pace, acting like he didn't even notice your whole body shaking or you screaming in pleasure or your pussy gripping his throbbing cock tightly. He just gripped your thighs harder and kept going.

"Fuck yeah y/n, cum on my fucking cock," he growled, not seeming to be the least bit tired. 

A hand released your thigh only to squeeze your left tit, causing you to cry out in pleasure. The hand slowly and firmly made its way to your throat again, as he slowed his pace. 

"Fuck," he moans, looking down at his cock, covered in your slick juices. Still pounding you, he leans over you kissing you deeply. You flex, tightening your pussy around his cock as your legs start to shake. 

"Goddamn!" He yells, pulling away from the kiss. Spitting into his fingers, he reaches down and rubs your clit. You moan loudly, feeling another orgasm approaching.

Pulling hard on the cuffs, you lose total control and scream as you cum, this orgasm more intense than the last one. Mark pinches your nipples hard. The pain mixed with the pleasure leaves you overwhelmed as you wrap your legs tight around him, trying to slow him down because you're too sensitive now. 

Reading your body language, he slows down. You know he would never do anything to hurt you, and he is great at reading you. He is a dominant sadist, but also quick to stop and comfort you the second you need it. 

He takes that chance to catch his breath as he slowly moves his hips back and forth. Your breath is shaky as you come down, your legs loosening from his waist and resting on either side of you.

"Do you want me to continue?" He asks after a few seconds, seeing that you've calmed down.  

You look at him, taking a few seconds to catch your breath, then nod. 

He leans forward and kisses you as he starts going a little faster, at first, then gradually picking up speed. 

"Fuck yes, mark don't stop!" You wail as he grabs your hair at the nape of your neck, pulling your head back. He's fucking you so hard now that the bed frame is banging against the wall. 

"I'm not fucking stopping," he groans in your ear. You wrap your legs around his thick waist, raising your hips, taking in as much of him as you can.

"God y/n you feel so fucking good wrapped around my cock.. fuck..." he moaned in your ear. Even his voice makes you feel so hot.

"Fuck yeah Mark.. it's all for you..."

He puts his hands on the back of your knees, pushing your legs back. Your hips are raised and you can see his cock moving in and out of you. 

"Watch me fuck your sweet pussy..." he whispers, looking you in the eyes.

You closed your eyes, drowning in the pleasure, and he quickly grabbed your hair, forcing you to look. 

"Fucking watch me pound your pussy!" He barked.

"Fuck.. mark..." You cried. 

"Cum for me one more time y/n.. you know you want to..."

He knows your one weakness, hearing him tell you to cum usually makes you cum. 

As he held your head with one hand and your leg next to you against the bed with the other, you felt the orgasm creeping up once again. 

"Oh my god.. cum with me Mark... please... fill me up," you whined.

"Beg me," he said harshly, "beg for cum."

"Please give me your fucking cum mark.. fill me up... please..."

He fucked you harder and deeper, his hips slamming against the back of your thighs, changing position ever so slightly so you could feel his balls with each deep stroke..

"Fuck yeah tight sexy hole.. squeeze like that... fuck!" He hollered out. 

Your whole body shook as you had an orgasm way more intense this time, as you felt his hot cum shooting inside you. His muscles tensed, and he pulled on your hair so hard it was a little more than you wanted.. for just a split second.

You scream his name followed by a string of cuss words as he thrusts deep a couple more times to get every last drop of his cum out, his eyes staring into yours as you become one with the pleasure that you gave created together. Breathing heavily, he finally releases your leg and hair, collapsing on top of you, his head laying on its side on your heaving breasts as he bites your nipple between his teeth and holds it there..

"Shit, you're amazing," he sighs, kissing you deeply before reaching for the key to undo your cuffs.

You groan as you stretch your arms out, and he rolls over off of you. 

"Are you okay?" He asks, rubbing your wrists and thighs where he held you down. His fingers tracing the deep indents from the handcuffs, "I didn't mean to make them so tight..."

"Yes," you reply, rolling over to face him, "you know I don't mind when you're rough with me."

"Then maybe next time, I'll put you in a trap," he chuckled, tucking your hair behind your ear and kissing your lips, enjoying the pressure from your always hungry little mouth.

"Hey now," you playfully smack his arm, "...maybe later."

You both giggle as you pull the blankets over your sweaty bodies. 

You cuddle into his chest, and he kisses your forehead and slides his left hand down into your ass cheek, holding it firmly with enjoyment. Sighing happily, you wonder what he has in store for you tomorrow, as you both drift off to sleep.

[vinelark]

khoa & tim fake uncle postfic

because i’m thinking about tim’s fake uncle again and because i’m also thinking about ghostbat: au (loosely inspired by this) set during tim’s early robin era where tim does a version of the Fake Uncle thing, which coincides with minhkhoa khan sneaking into town to spy on bruce.

the thing is, khoa has been off the grid for a while and just learned about jason--both that bruce got another kid, and that said kid had a fatal run-in with the joker. bruce had told khoa to stay out of gotham years ago, but khoa isn’t about to let that stop him once he catches up on the news and pieces together bruce’s grief spiral that only recent calmed down with the appearance of a new robin. a new robin who is, conveniently, posting a veiled job offer for an? uncle?? on the internet, and doing it entirely on his own.

so khoa fashions himself a fake struggling-but-not-too-struggling actor identity and lands himself the position of tim drake's uncle. it’s a perfect way to peek at bruce’s life while flying under the radar, because this tim kid is very eager to keep his fake uncle as separate from bruce as possible. khoa expects to be in and out of this job in a month, maybe two, as soon as he’s sure bruce is stable and not going to crumble because bruce cares so much and khoa knows it’ll be his undoing one day and—anyway. it’s a temporary gig. the kid’ll have to come up with a cover story when khoa inevitably disappears, but that’s not khoa’s problem. and tim probably shouldn’t be making up fake relatives anyway, so khoa will be teaching him a valuable lesson. (the lesson: always make sure you have collateral on someone before trusting them. you’re welcome for the parenting help, bruce!)

except. it’s not so easy to leave.

after just two weeks khoa starts realizing that:

tim is bonkers

like, off the wall bonkers

and brilliant

bad combo, khoa knows from experience

tim desperately cares about bruce and dick and alfred

but does not see himself as part of the family (hence the fake uncle thing)

khoa also realizes that tim keeps secretly patching himself up at home (because he’s downplaying any injuries after patrols) and eventually khoa is like. “okay. i don’t care what happened*, but you do have to stitch that up properly. my fake self can’t be in trouble for child endangerment.” and he patches up a surprised and wary tim. this becomes a routine.

*(khoa knows what happened, he was stalking batman on patrol that night. like most nights.)

ANYWAY. basically what i’m saying is: identity shenanigans where bruce’s ex is lurking around gotham pretending to be tim’s uncle and tim doesn’t know about the ex thing and bruce doesn’t know about the uncle being fake thing and everyone is keeping secrets from each other. and khoa goes from “this is a convenient way to spy on bruce” to “if anything happens to this unhinged baby robin i will kill everyone in this room and then myself” and ends up co-parenting tim without bruce realizing.

also in between having concerning realizations about tim’s self-preservation skills and spying on bruce, khoa finds time to have fun with it. like imagine a parent-teacher conference at tim’s school. the school calls bruce to schedule because his contact info is still on file from when tim was staying with him. but obviously khoa catches wind of this and decides to also turn up, in full uncle disguise, and spends the whole time fucking with bruce and having a blast.

like bruce was kind of checked out last year when the conferences happened and now he’s starting to claw out of his grief enough to be present and engaged. especially now that tim is staying with his “uncle” bruce is like wait. wait. and is trying to make more of an effort, so he shows up to the conference. and then at the conference khoa is just lounging in his chair like, “tim fell asleep in class? good for him, i’ve been telling him to get more sleep” and bruce is trying to be Even Better Dad to compensate while his eye is just constantly twitching.

[parent-teacher conference shenanigans with contributions from @cairoscene, @90kon, & @mammutblog:]

teacher: i won't sugar coat it, tim is very nearly failing literature

khoa: ah. a ridiculous subject anyway.

teacher: i notice tim is very... isolated. he doesn't seem to engage much with his peers, even when they try to initiate conversations with him

khoa: well children are idiots, i don't blame him

teacher: tim got in a fight—

khoa: did he win?

khoa: oh tim’s getting an A in science? we should celebrate. i’ll take him to get ice cream for dinner. we usually do that anyway but this time he can have extra sprinkles

bruce: that’s not— [deep breath] in my experience tim has trouble remembering to eat a balanced diet when left to his own devices, which is important to his growth at this age.

khoa: yeah of course. that’s why sometimes we get frozen yogurt instead

bruce: tim is lactose intolerant

khoa: [pulls out a packet of lactaid] i know

anyway!! after a bunch of shenanigans and awkward actually-taking-care-of-tim moments, something big happens where bruce and tim are in deep trouble and khoa breaks cover to burst in and rescue both batman & robin and all secrets come out. tim is shocked that he didn’t figure out who khoa was (in tim’s defense, he’s had a Lot going on) and bruce is soooo mad he didn’t see through the disguise, but also bruce is. grateful. that khoa has been there for tim, especially when khoa finally gets to do a full “get your head out of your ass” rant about the various ways tim has been pretending to be way more okay than he is.

khoa: if you’re going to CARE about people so much the least you can do is! pay attention to them!! this kid is your problem, act like it!

bruce: sounds like he might be Our problem now

khoa: only because i don’t trust you to get the job done 😤

(ALSO because khoa is literally there to lurk and observe he notices the league slipping into gotham and they end up rescuing a resurrected jason early.)

anyway i just think the concept of khoa being tim’s deus ex machina adult is so fun. like tim is on some international mission with young justice and it seems like all hope is lost and then freaking ghost-maker swans in and takes out all the enemies and gives tim a whole rant about How Is Bruce Letting You Run Around Like This, Does He Know What You’re Getting Up To In Your Spare Time, Where Even Is He. the vibe is ghost-maker dropping a (carefully patched up) robin on wayne manor doorstep with a sticky note on tim’s forehead reading TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOUR THINGS.

(bonus au of this au from aubrey where bruce DOES see through khoa’s disguise:

Tim: Bruce, this is my uncle--

Bruce: ANTON?!

Khoa: 😘

Tim: oh my god DID YOU FUCK MY FAKE UNCLE, BRUCE?)

also please look at this khoa and tim art again for the vibes

[shippingmyworld]

Got any 🐯👻 headcannons?

I've got a million, but here's a bunch of ones related to them cuddling/being physically intimate with each other and not just because my next tigerghost fic is a make-out fic

Manny is more clingy than Danny is and usually the one to initiate affection.

Danny is slightly uncomfortable with pda, but also low-key touch-starved.

Manny picks up on this (any honestly any small change with Danny's mood) without being explicitly told so and keeps his hands to himself while they're in public. But because he's clingy by nature, he still does things that can fly under the radar like bumping shoulders, sitting next to each other a little closer than normal friends would, or discreetly reaching out and holding/squeezing Danny's hand when he can do so without being seen by others.

All bets are off when they're hanging around HQ or hanging out with friends. Manny pretty much always has his arms around Danny's waist or is draping himself across Danny in some way like an over affectionate cat. Danny lets him because he feels more comfortable around friends than strangers in public (and again because he's touch-starved and secretly enjoys the contact, but will never admit it openly).

It's a rare occurrence for the others to find Manny and Danny in the same room and more than three feet apart from one another because of how they are.

When they're completely alone (away from friends/family & HQ), Danny becomes just as clingy/touchy as Manny is. He specifically likes to play with Manny's hair and will trace the outlines of Manny's scars with his fingers.

Manny likes the fact that Danny's body temp runs colder (due to his ghost powers/ice core) because it reminds him of one of those self-cooling pillows, so Manny will regularly doze off on Danny whenever they're cuddling.

They fall asleep on the couch more regularly than a bed, mostly because Manny will conk out within minutes of their cuddle sessions and Danny can't bring himself to wake his sleepy tiger.

Typically, Danny is the big spoon when they sleep on the couch (because that way Danny's arms are still free to watch tv/read/play with his phone) and if he has the energy and motivation to wake Manny up and move the both of them to bed, Manny will be the big spoon there. However, neither really has a preference, that's just how it ends up.

Danny has a severe case of insomnia that he's tried to cure countless times. It's a result of a lot of things like generalized stress and anxiety, but a large part of it is his trauma of dealing with Dark Danny/Phantom. He's constantly having an existential crisis about what he would do if he ever ended up in a similar situation. It's partly why he never branched out from Tucker and Sam for his friend group back home, because it opens up him up to the possibility of more loss.

His insomnia isn't miraculously cured once he and Manny get together (like it sometimes is in other romances). Sure, holding Manny while they sleep does help a little bit and it's pretty nice to have someone he loves by his side when he wakes up and falls asleep. But now, Danny spends more of his time on those sleepless nights just taking in everything about Manny's existence. He's spent hours listening to the way that Manny breaths when he sleeps (and snores), observing all the little and subconscious movements Manny makes, just committing everything he can to memory and it makes him feel calmer.

[schizochroal]

I think, right now if you're a transfem or trans woman, with any sort of income and address, in the US right now, who wants to go on hrt but for whatever reason you are waiting, I think you should seriously reconsider that. DIYing is still relatively accessible, and along with estrogen, while Spiro isn't the best anti-androgen it does the job for most people and is dirt cheap and easy to get. If you live somewhere and have the insurance or other means to afford it, I'd also recommend pursuing official medical hrt as well, but keep in mind that depending on restrictions put in place in the future, you might need to switch to DIYing. That being said, starting officially and then switching to DIY after a certain point really isn't that bad at all, hormone testing and stuff becomes much less important after the first couple of years. If you have insurance (and the right kind) , it could be basically free for you to pursue the official route, if ur insurance won't pay for it the doctors appointments will be expensive but you probably won't be spending more than 20$ a month for your hrt, assuming you go for something like Spiro as an anti-androgen. Even if you art totally DIYing , you're still probably not going to be spending more than a 30$ or so dollars a month for hrt, and I know it's possible to pay way less than that depending on some factors.

I live somewhere with pretty high food costs, so for me that kinda cost is the difference between say getting eating like just some rice and beans or something a couples nights in a month instead of getting fast food or whatever. Tbh most of the people I know are pretty poor by American standards, but still make random purchases on stuff like food , video games, clothes, caffeine, weed, etc. that are a lot more than they would need to pay for hrt even at full DIY prices.

Like if you're holding off for financial or other reasons, I think you really should seriously consider whether those reasons are worth continuing to put it off when in all likelihood beginning hrt is only gonna get harder in the future, and every year you wait is another year you could instead spend living the life you actually want.

Starting is always scary, but like nothing about HRT is instantaneous, depending on ur hair and fashion you can probably guarantee that u can still fly under the radar for at least a year after starting hrt, potentially a lot longer. And a year is a long time to figure out if uve jumped the gun and it really would be better for you to wait, and for the most part it takes a long time for any non-reversible changes to happen (other than maybe some breast growth, but like plenty of cis guys have gynecomastia, it's not that big of a deal). But the only way you're going to be able to find that out is if you start. And honestly, outside of some very specific individuals, I think for most of us there is not going to be another, better time to start her anytime in the near future!