#fluffy painful smutty idk | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rite4fun · 1 year ago

Text

soft hands

heyyy 🤪

i started this in the midst of my other writings- forgot about it and then i recently found it again and fell back in love with it so.. here it is finally!! // also my first request ever which is really exciting and special so i hope this doesn’t disappoint, i’ve spent the last two days perfecting it so if there is mistakes- idk man I have to stop looking at it before i go crazy 😭

requested by: @endlessvoidd

an angsty/fluffy/!!smutty!! fic based on this song - i.e. my interpretation into this.

18+ content

••

love is a fickle thing.

coming in many forms but always ending in similar fashion: heartache.

atleast that’s what it felt like to you. it was as if the whole world remained stagnant while your own went up in flames. but that’s what pain does to one, isolating them so only they feel as if there was no one else who could ever feel the way it made them.

this pain often took the shape of another human.

one that claimed another name, promising safety and care but never keeping to their word. it was a cycle they used, a ruse to get you under their control and you fell for it everytime.

a faux charming smile mixed with poisoned sweet words held in devilish hands.

your colorful heart so open for loving that it made you vulnerable to the ones who were willing to hold it. their rough hands gripping so tightly till you’d bruise only black and blue.

so now as the whole world burns, you had found solace in your own. it no longer felt like you were underwater, suffocating in the abyss of darkness that always seem to swallow you.

you’d been pushed to your limits, forced to become stronger and bolder in your decisions. you had too- in order to survive this new world where the only thing that mattered was living to see the next day. it was no longer a place that required such care or attention to minuscule feelings like love.

until you met him. daryl dixon.

someone with no smile, spoke very little words but otherwise soft hands.. someone who you never thought you’d fall for, especially in this seemingly mundane world.

but here you were..

it was like those pieces you left behind had come crumbling back into existence.

the colors of your broken heart, blooming together for another and no matter how hard you tried to deny the feelings, they would always be there, lingering into every touch, every gaze, every moment you had with him until it became too much to bare.

but even then, you’d do nothing.. never to push or pull him, you’d take whatever you could get because even without him reciprocating any feelings, it was the happiest you’d ever been.

••

violet, the selfless lover.

sweat glistened over his muscled arms, his sleeveless shirt accentuating his broad shoulders before dipping at his waist and hips that shift as he fiddles with his belt.

a familar sight: his back turned to you.

you lie in bed in the aftermath of your indulgences. the only covers having survived your rushed intimacy were the thin sheets that you pull up to your chest, shielding parts of yourself that he has already seen but now, not in a fit of hurried passion, it felt too vulnerable.

especially now, in the moments he quickly slips away into the night, void of live beings and caped into darkness.

your eyes flutter shut, ears catching the light sounds of his shuffling as he gathers himself. you swallow the suffocating words, the ones that ask him to lie back down with you.. to hold you, love you, touch you.

just this once, stay.

you repeat the words over and over in your head, hoping that somehow he would suddenly be able to read your mind but like clockwork, you hear him pause.

his motions freezing as you feel his gaze struck on your body, casted in the moonlight revealed from the open shades of the window that releases the heat of the room. you always wondered if in these moments he ever thinks about it.. staying.

laying down beside you as his hands caress the parts he had once gripped tightly in desire. your head upon his chest so you could listen to his heartbeat thudding softly against your ear. his arms wrapped around your frame, caging you in protectively.

but alas, it’s only seconds later, he’s moving again.

you steady your breathing, fighting every urge to twitch and allowing him to believe you have fallen asleep. you really aren’t sure who you do it more for: him, so there are no awkward goodbyes or yourself, so you don’t have to endure the pain that comes with his departure.

he always leaves though so your troubles never really vanish so you guess, in a sense it’s more for him.

you remember the first time it happened, after traveling together for so long with tensions high whenever you were near each other- it seemed inevitable. grappling at one anothers bodies in haste as you fought to stay quiet in hershels now cleared out barn.

embarrassingly that same night, you had expected something different. that it meant you no longer had to tip toe around the supposedly feelings between you both- except it appeared one sided when he left hurriedly after your secret escapade.

then you supposed it should have remained a one time thing but something kept pulling you both back towards the other and as time passed with more people added to your group, you figured you two would grow even further apart but no-

it wasn’t like he ever seeked you out but it was almost like he was always waiting, finding hidden spots wherever to succumb to your primal states before parting and acting as if you weren’t just moaning each others names in bliss.

maybe that’s the reason you continued to hold on so tightly, he kept coming back and despite his inability to show anything but desire towards you.. it felt like enough.

you felt like you could make it enough.

so you would act like it was all just a passing fleet of passion when it came down to it.. for him.

you can hear his steps around the room before a new pressure of weight covers your body, the welcomed warmth of the duvet setting your heart to burn.

only to be sizzled out by the sounds of his descending steps as he leaves the room, shutting the bedroom door softly before making his way down the stairs and out the front door, locking it with the spare key.

you sit up, gripping the thin sheet around your body as you move to stand at the open window. the streets remain dark but if you squint your eyes enough, you could make up the shape of his body, moving easily through the pitch black night.

the physical distance he puts between you rivals the emotional one that always sits heavily in your chest.

you watch as he approaches his home, the porch light turning on, making his body freeze at the bottom step for only a split second before he’s moving again, disappearing under the porch awning and eventually into the home.

your own home remains silent, quiet, still. completely void of anyone and anything but your soft breaths.

with the loss of some members of the community and the consistent rebuilding, new homes were becoming available. you once resided with the grimes family, michonne, carol and daryl.

until rick approached you all, offering you a place of your own. even before the world went to shit, you never lived alone. having a roommate of sorts or living with a boyfriend, and even when things got rough, your parents invited you in. the idea was unnerving, especially after living in close quarters with your newfound family. it was a change and you couldn’t understand why it made you so unsettled.. but a lot of things have changed since before and you assumed that everyone was trying to settle in more firmly, the grimes family deserved that more than anything so you figured you’d try.

maybe you, carol, and daryl could move into one home together?

but it was never spoken as an option, so you stood with shaky legs in the back of the living room as everyone looked to you in confirmation. you had refused to make eye contact with any of them, especially after carol piped up that daryl was welcome in her new home. isolating you without notice but you didn’t blame her, how could you?

there was plenty of chances for something to come of you and daryl but it didn’t. it wouldn’t, it seemed.

that leap of possibility lingered at arms length, yet felt untouchable.

so you agreed, following rick as he guided you to your very own home, placed conveniently right across the street from carol and daryls new home.

seemingly a physical representation of your inner battle, so close yet so far.

blue, the understanding lover.

there’s an overwhelming amount of yearning in your body as you watch him caress her forehead before pressing a soft kiss to it.

his hand is gentle in his touches, even from afar you can see the way in which everything he does is tender towards her.

for a second, you too, can almost feel the ghost of his touches, equally as soft but less loving and your heart aches at the thought.

you feel a bit ridiculous at being jealous of a baby. a sick baby at that.

“you ready?” your attention is pulled from the bittersweet scene to the woman that’s approaching you.

“‘course, you?” maggie hums with a grin before following your gaze that’s found it’s way back onto him.

“he’s always so good with her, hm?” you can only nod mutely, that ache beginning in your heart, falling to the pit of your stomach as you watch him conversate with rick who gently holds his babygirl in his hands- daryl loves on her with an equally soft touch.

one, your body desperately craves.

despite his hands physically being rough from the countless amount of hours he spends working with them, he had a way of knowing just how to handle you: so soft with the right amount of pressure to still excite you.

the only part missing was the consistency; the knowledge that he was yours as much as you knew he owned every bit of you.

even if he didn’t know it.

you shake your head as if it will physically rid your hopeless thoughts, changing your regard for checking your pack and making sure you’re prepared for the run.

shortly after everyone splits in farewells, six of you pile into a black suv for the trip. you settle in the furthest seats with maggie, rosita and tara infront of you as glenn drives with daryl in shotgun.

an unfortunate sickness had fallen on the community, not yet as severe as the one that had tragically taken place at the prison- but whatever it was spread fast and had sent a dent into the infirmaries medication.

so a pharmaceutical run was needed, especially after little judith herself fell ill.

the six of you volunteered, immediately finding a small community pharmacy close enough that had been scoped out as potential. it was a no brainer when it seemed nearly abandoned, very little walkers surrounding and every bit as hopeful as life could give right now.

upon arriving to the building, you split off into groups of two. you had expected to go with tara but found her already linking and walking off with rosita- and you’d never break up the dream team of maggie and glenn so.. you found yourself left with daryl.

there are very few moments where it’s ever just you two like this, without that fire burning between your bodies. you aren’t sure if that was just dumb luck or something daryl arranged so he never had to be with you alone. either way you never questioned it because sooner or later he would be in your bed, pressed skin to skin as you shared sharply sweet kisses and the feeling of being unwanted vanished.

green, the caring lover.

“shit” daryl curses as you wrap his leg is gauze, covering the wound he inflicted when a shelf fell onto him.

there’s an alarm blaring over your heads and the familar ghastly groans pounding on the pair of front doors that the rest of the four lean against to keep them out.

“did anyone check the back door?!” rosita yells.

“could hear them clawing at it too but i think it’s our best choice.. didn’t sound like too many but if we wait any longer, that could change” glenn speaks through his teeth as his feet slide against the linoleum flooring.

daryl winces when your rushed hands put too much pressure and you mutter a quick apology, “i can clear it”

“nah” you look up at him as he brushes off your offer.

“i don’t think we have much of a choice daryl, i can do it” your voice is quiet against the harsh banging, “we can’t wait it out, they can see us through the doors”

“i said ya ain’t doin’ it. jus’ let me think of somethin’” he makes to get up, his leg nearly collapsing under him in pain but your quick to reach out, grabbing onto his waist to steady him. you’ve never had your hands on him in this way, it feels different yet familar- heartwarming even as you brace his body against yours.

“well, can you think faster because i don’t know how much longer we have until they push through us!” rosita smarts at him, agitated with concern by the situation.

you lift your head to the flashing red lights above then twist it to the back of the pharmacy, “it looks like the alarms are set only upfront, they will be more attracted here than in the back.. i can do it”

you go to release daryl hastily, going to make a break for the back but he grabs your arm, clear irration oozing into his words, “are ya hearin’ me? … you three hold ‘em doors, we’ll let ‘em in one by one”

you stare in disbelief as everyone listens- tara and rosita holding onto one door while glenn has the other, maggie coming to stand next to you readily with her knife in hand.

your attention is then drawn to daryl who pushes your helping hands away in attempt to steady his stance alone, finding a comfortable balance as he readies his own knives.

the echoed alarm has nothing over the sound of your own heartbeat through your ears. there’s mild annoyance that builds in your stomach, in result of daryls doubt of your ability to do anything by yourself.

you find your feet moving backwards on their own accord, watching as they all follow directions but it’s not going to be enough against the growing dead outside- getting close enough to consider a horde. one of them slips, allowing two walkers to stumble in and as maggie and daryl are distracted, you take your sudden leave.

sprinting towards the back before anyone can say anything. the relentlessly pounding is just as loud and the hinges of the back door rattle but the piercing siren has lessened, giving you enough head clearance to search the back room for something to hold against the door. you plan to use the same tactic except it’s just you against the many that stand on the other side.

it’s the only way you can think of to ensure that everyone makes it home with the supplies, a hell of a lot quicker too.

the only things in your vincity is shelves stuffed with random boxes but it will have to do. you yank some down, hoping to lessen the weight of it before you’re shoving at it.

“come on..” you grunt in frustration but with one final harsh shove, it collapses over with a loud bang- a heavy box toppling down along your arm, cutting open a clean laceration from your inner elbow to your wrist, “fuck!”

ironic enough the fallen box now lays crumbled at your feet, busted open and spilling out its contents of bandages. there isn’t time to perfect the wrapping of your arm, nevermind control the consistent bleeding that quickly seeps into the cloth but it works for now.

adrenaline runs through your veins, keeping the pain to a minimum as you drag the shelf to the door, angling it so that it only has a sliver of space to crack open once it hits the fallen piece of metal.

your body feels heavy, exhaustion settling into your bones from this trip already. the idea of crawling into the warmth of your bed, sounded better than ever but it’s not time yet. there was still work to do and your people needed an out, you’ll be damned if daryls remark held you back from a potential opening.

you heave a deep breath, turning the knob just so the door is loose before backing up and readying your knife.

the first few walkers stumble through the crack one by one, easy enough to take out. in a short amount of time, you’d killed a dozen or so and you’re beginning to wonder how many more reside outside the door as you begin to tire out. there’s a pause and no more push through but you can hear them, their monstrous groaning floating through the crack.

you decide to take a breather, dropping your arms in fatigue but it’s the wrong time to rest as another walker squeezes through, having been forced through by another that stumbles in quickly after. you shove tiredlessly at the first one, gripping the second and collapsing to the ground with it as you stab it in it’s head. your knife is a lost cause inside the skull of the walker and you scramble back as the second one stumbles after you, it’s unstable body crumbling ontop of yours.

you have your hurt forearm rested on it’s neck as it’s teeth snaps at you grossly while the other hand pushes at it’s forehead. it’s been awhile since you’ve been so close to a walker like this. since arriving to alexandria, you and maggie worked along with deanna on building a new brighter future for the community.

as time passed, you found being inside the walls wasn’t so bad and the only time you itched to be out was when daryl would be gone on his weeks long recruiting trips.

he is what made alexandria feel more like home to you.

his insane judgement of character made you feel safe, so if he found that trust within those walls- so did you and every other person in your group.

that’s why you needed him to get back, why they all needed to make it back. alexandria would never be the same without him- without any of them.

you internally scoff at your overly ridiculous thoughts, even as you sweat so close to death itself, all you can think about is him.

but with thoughts of getting him out safely, comes a newfound strength as you let it’s forehead go, the walkers head dropping dangerously closer to your face as you scramble for the gun on your hip.

it’s a clean one shot before your throwing the walkers body to the side with a grunt, scurrying back in fear as your heart thuds painfully in your chest.

no matter how many times you’re faced with this new reality, it never fails to scare you shitless with the constant reminder of how living isn’t a promise and looms so dangerously over your head- or directly in your face.

a refreshing soft breeze comes from the cracked door, snapping you from your building anxiety and you hastily crawl to it, pulling it open more and finding the alley clear.

you smile in relief and as much as your body screams to rest, you’re running to grab the others to make a swift escape before anymore walkers can show up.

red, the passionate lover.

the thunderous clouds open for the loud torrents of rain creating a solemn ambience among the community.

similar to the way you feel as you lay on the couch, shades open to watch the droplets that hit the window before sliding down.

freshly showered with a clean bandage on your arm, wrapped in a sweatshirt far too big for your figure and fuzzy socks, you wallow in the warmth of your own home.

there’s a pounding at your front door that interrupts your thoughts, one that could almost rival the thunder released from the sky.

you pull a thin blanket from the couch, wrapping it around yourself as your sock covered feet slide across the wood flooring to the door.

pulling it open, the sky’s weeping shower is louder but what takes your attention is the soaking wet man that stands before you.

“daryl?” head to toe, his body is drenched. his clothes clingling to him, dripping onto your front doorstep. his hair beginning to wave as the tips leak water onto his shoulders and face, in which you finally take in his exasperated expression, “what’s wrong?”

“wha’s wrong?” his tone is full of frustration, “let’s start with tha’ stunt ya pulled earlier today, hm?”

confusion covers your features, your fingers gripping the blanket tighter around your body when a gust of wind and rain blows through, “what do you mean?”

daryl huffs, a hand coming up to swipe over his mouth roughly, “i mean.. ya makin’ a stupid decision tha’ could’ve costed ya, yer life!”

“what?” you can tell your inability to make sense of the conversation only frustrates him more but given that last time you saw him, you guys were fine- as far as him ignoring you, nothing seemed out of the ordinary and now he shows up at your home to yell at you? so yeah, you had a right to be a little confused.

“dun’ play dumb, i told ya the plan and ya ran off! decided playin’ with ya life was the way to go instead!” although it was just hours ago that you laid face to face with death, it felt like days and you no longer cared to linger on it anymore as you stand within the safety of alexandria.

“i made a choice. you have no right to insult me! it saved us, didn’t it?!” you hadn’t expected him to praise you for what you did, but his response to your actions that helped you guys make it back safely was unbelievable, had it been anyone else-

“at what cost?!” clearly you aren’t understanding what he’s saying as he grows more agitated by the second.

“what does it matter? it’s over daryl!” you grip the blanket in one hand as you toss the other out in annoyance.

“ya shouldn’t be risking ya life lik tha’.. fo’ anyone!”

“well i did!”

“why?!”

“because that’s what you do for someone you love!” your chest heaves with rattling breaths, “i-i wasn’t thinking about me, i just knew you had to get out, that’s all i cared about.. you getting home” you turn your head as you feel tears burn in your eyes.

it’d be silent if not for the rumbling downpour coming from the sky above as if the universe too, was upset.

“… ya love me?” bewilderment makes up his otherwise timid tone.

but you can’t face him, the humiliation of outing yourself too much to bare so you just nod your head abashedly, tear-filled gazed locked on a chipped part of the doorway.

“look at me” you can see his body move closer from the corner of your eye but you make no move to change positions.

body aflamed with embarrassment, frozen in time as your mind races through every outcome of this situation. all ending in familiarity: your heart laid crushed in the open, bleeding the many colors it holds. it’s like you can feel the ache of longing that follows as you rethink every moment you guys had together, clinging to the memories to cope with the overwhelming sadness that withers into your chest.

there is no time to mourn something you haven’t lost yet when a pair of hands cup your face gently, forcing your gaze to the sharp blue eyes of daryls.

the distance between your faces closing as his thumbs absentmindedly wipe the tears from under your eyes. the rise of your heartbeat causes your chest to heave with your deep breathes mixing with daryls as his body sways closer. his eyes never leave your face, taking in every inch as if he still can’t believe the words that you uttered so effortlessly in your emotional fit.

“ya mean it?” with your gazes locked, you can finally take in the hidden vulnerability that lies in between his mumbled words. unable to speak with the lump that settles into your throat, you can only nod feverishly in his grip but it isn’t enough as he shakes his head, “say it again” but you respond with your own head shake, finding it hard to grasp onto any words. his rough thumb brushes over your trembling bottom lip soothingly, his tone soft yet encouraging, “ya can, baby.. say it again”

the pet name slips from his lips seamlessly, breaking your resolve as your hand releases the blanket and instead, both reaching out to grip his forearms with soft dry sobs of the words over and over.

i love you. i love you. i love you.

daryl is quick to match your distress with comfort, wrapping one arm around your waist to hold your body flush against his, “i know, i know, i know.. ’s okay baby”

you allow yourself to fall into his arms with a light flush to your cheeks from embarrassment, so quick to fall apart at the slightest coaxing but you needed this. him. you needed him to understand just how much you felt for him and how overwhelming it all was.

his arms are strong, encompassing you in his body heat that lights a fire in your own. your arms snake around his neck, pulling his face closer and it’s enough for him to finally slot your lips together.

despite the growing fever of desire, the kiss remains slow but your grips on each other tighten as he shuffles your bodies into the house, shutting the door all the while keeping his lips attached to yours.

one of his hand slides down your body, gripping your thigh as a signal for you to wrap your legs around him, which you do with a quiet huff.

with blinded knowledge of the layout he takes you to the living room, laying your body gently on the couch.

you shiver at the lack of contact and his piercing stare as he takes in your delicate state. your hair fanning behind your head as the oversized sweatshirt you wear hikes up to your upper thighs, your legs bent yet closed innocently- revealing just the cusp of your bottom to him.

your eyebrows furrow at his longing gaze, poking his leg playfully with your sock covered foot which he grabs. you meet his sharp blue eyes and that growing fire in your stomach heightens at the hunger that lingers in them.

he seems to want to take his time, enjoying the sight of you but the need in you burns painfully for his touch.

tilting your head, you look at him from under your lashes, fluttering them prettily as you reach your hands out towards him.

he comes easily, settling over your body- it should bother you that his clothes remain wet and cold but it soothes your otherwise hot skin when his broad frame settles between your legs.

you’re pulling his lips to meet yours again, letting out a gasp at the sensation, sometimes you forget just how good you guys are together.

having spent years learning how each others bodies work; he knows exactly what touches will have falling apart while gasping his name and you know just how to move to have him desperately coming back for more- you two work together like a well oiled machine.

he lifts off of you, a whimper escaping your throat, “‘s okay baby, jus’ gotta take this off” he’s only able to swipe his signature vest off before you’re sweeping your upper body up to help him unbutton his sleeveless top, “eager, ain’t ya sweethear’?” his hand brushes pieces of your hair behind your ear, finger sliding down your neck and hooking into the crew of your sweatshirt.

you ignore his truthful remark, settling for pushing his shirt off his shoulders before pulling him back over your body, his bare chest pressing through the thick material of your own top yet you feel like you need more.

“more..” you squirm under him as his hands softly wander over your covered frame.

daryl only hushes you, his rough hands sliding under your sweatshirt, meeting the soft skin of your lower stomach, dipping up at your waist, tickling at your ribs until his fingertips skim just under your breasts. you arch beautifully into his hands, eyes hooded in lust as he watches your lips part in a quiet gasp.

your own hands grip at his muscled biceps, fingernails digging in- in anticipated pleasure. your body rolls, thrusting your hips into his in a desperate search of something to ease the throbbing pressure building between your legs.

he seems to take pity on you, lowering his body until he’s eye level to your stomach. his hands bunch up the fabric of your sweatshirt, lifting it just enough to reveal your belly button.

he places kisses under it, a warm and gentle peck that has you sucking your stomach in at the gesture. your hands grip his as you look down, his unruly hair falling into his face, slightly covering his now darkened blue eyes that glanced up every so often to enjoy the way your features contort in bliss. his lips remain on your skin, pressing sloppy kisses wherever he deems fit as he travels up. he keeps up with the lifting of your top, every new layer of revealed skin is left with heated, wet kisses that the air cools over- the sensation of it all, sending a thrilling shiver throughout your whole body.

you can’t seem to control your hips, bucking everytime daryl stops and takes a nibble at your skin before licking over it soothingly.

with your sweatshirt finally bunched under your pits to reveal your breasts to the open air, nipples hardening at the change of temperature. daryl kisses in the valley of your chest before humming to himself when he gets his lips around one of your nipples, his scruff scratching over the soft skin while one of his hands finds your other breast, calloused fingertips running over the nipple.

the change of position has daryls hips pressed right against yours, his jean covered bulge digging into your thinly covered core. a simple roll of your hips has your eyes rolling back, a choked gasp releasing from your mouth at the newfound pleasure.

daryl has switched to the other nipple, giving it the same attention as the last before he can’t take anymore of your quiet noises- lifting up to take your lips into another biting kiss. his hands grappling to rip off the sweatshirt over your head as he settles back on his haunches, only a sliver of blue visible in his eyes as he takes in your body - only softening a little as they gaze over your bandaged arm.

your legs settle over his thighs but the more he stares, the more unsure you become and you find your knees turning in- in an attempt to hide the most vulnerable part of yourself but daryl doesn’t let you get far, immediately gripping them to push them back out. one hand holds the crease of your knee, keeping your legs apart while the other slips down to your covered core, fingertips dancing over the wet patch of your panties.

the same way he seems entranced by your figure, you can’t take your eyes off him. on normal circumstances, he never took his time: seemingly too overwhelmed with desire to play things out, only taking exactly what he came for and never lingering after.

now though, his hands eagerly pause to truly appreciate whatever details he’s found of your body. his eyes lost in the way you move, the way you look.. finally he gets the chance to fully indulge the parts of you he never got to take advantage of in your unspoken situationship.

you huff as your hips press more firmly into his hands, daryls eyebrows raising in amusement at your clear impatience.

“jus’ wanted ta look at m’ girl” his mocking tone only burns the flames hotter in your body, “tha’s wha’ ya are, hm? mine?” he pushes your panties to the side, your dripping core pulsing in anticipation. he drags his fingertips through the wetness, collecting it before spreading it messily over your lips. he barely skims over your clit but the teasing has your senses on high and you find yourself unable to stop the twitch of your hips, “say it” his motions stop, fingers hovering over you as you meet his darkened gaze.

“i’m yours” your voice is broken, meek and so so beautiful to him, “please, ‘m yours”

maybe another time you’d feel embarrassed about being so desperate but the softness of his hands: the loving way he tends to your neediness has you on cloud nine.

“mm, ‘ve got ya” his gravely voice is only getting deeper, rumbling deep into his chest as he allows two thick fingers to slide into your pulsating hole. after years of being together, your body takes to him easily, opening to accommodate his digits.

“yes…” you hiss as you toss your head back, legs twitching as they threaten to close around his hand, a weak attempt to lock in the pleasure somehow.

daryl only grunts before his fingers are moving, hooking them everytime they slide out to target your gspot, thumb brushing against your throbbing clit. his pace is slower than normal, dragging out the sensation until you forget your name.

your impending orgasm is closer than you thought, his previous teasing ministrations having more of an effect on your body than the rushed ones you’ve endured before- not that those weren’t good but this, this felt stronger and harder to hold back.

as if sensing the same thing, daryls fingers pick up the pace until a slight squelch of your slick is heard over your gasping moans.

“gunna come fo’ me?” it’s sort of useless of him to ask as your eyes threaten to fall into the back your head, your body rolling into his hand uncontrollably and the obvious mewls of pleasure that spill from your lips- yet, you answer in a clumsy nod.

daryl doubles down in his actions, somehow shuffling even closer as he keeps his fingers inside of you and only thrusting deeper with curled fingertips, thumb messily moving over your sensitive clit.

the choked out moan you let out breaks in half into a high pitched squeal, knees helplessly knocking together while your hands reach out to grasp any part of the couch, you could get your hands on as your high hits.

“tha’s it..” the words are more of a growl as daryl watches you fall apart, your cries a muttered mixture of his name and sobs of pure pleasure until your left sinking into the couch with watery doe eyes, flushed cheeks, messy hair, and the heavy rise and fall of your naked chest.

his fingers only linger inside you for a moment more before pulling them out, lifting them to his mouth in a seemless action. he hums happily around his soaked digits as you whimper at the sight, shaky thighs opening back up despite your still throbbing core.

his hands fall to caress the smooth surface of them, eyes lost in the mess of your cunt until your hands reach out, fingers barely tickling over the bulge in his jeans. his hips push forward more and the response is enough for you to lift up, scrambling to unbutton his jeans and hurriedly pulling his cock out from his briefs.

he sits heavy in your palm, angry red tip with decorative blue veins down his shaft. your mouth waters at the sight and you go to lean forward, prepared to make him a mess as much as he did you but a hand grips the back of your head, fingers tangling into your hair to tilt your eyes up at him.

your eyes are lust blown and so very eager, only to twinkle with confusion at his next words, “i’ll come too soon”

you pout, “want you too”

at your indignant tone, he cracks a small smile. hand coming up to cup your chin, thumb brushing softly over your lips before falling onto your tongue when you open your mouth- keen on showing him exactly what he is missing out on when the slick muscle swirls around his finger, cheeks holllowing sharply as you bob your head sinfully.

you can feel his cock twitch violently in your hand, your own thumb swiping over his tip to the oozing precum that continuously drips out.

entranced by you, it takes daryl a second to fully pull away: enjoying the suction of his digit and the soft pull of your hand on his cock but he finds the control to back away.

your eyesbrows pull together in confusion, a flash of hurt covering your features when he stands up from the couch- a sudden doubtful feeling that this isn’t what you thought it was settling into your head.

“not going anywhere, jus’ takin’ my jeans off sweethear’” his reassuring words ease the tension in your body as you melt back into the couch. his briefs come down with his jeans, revealing his familiar broad body to your eyes, except now, you’re able to fully take him in: fully appreciate his scars, his muscles, his tattoos.. everything that makes him- him. the many reasons you’ve found yourself falling for him before you could even catch yourself, “wha’s that look for?”

you hadn’t even realized you were staring at him a certain way as he settles back inbetween your legs after helping you disgard the last few articles of clothing on your own body.

you squirm under his tickling hands as they graze over your body in a loving manner, you release of sigh of bliss at the motions. his fingers dancing around your waist until you look back into his eyes that hold a questioning gaze.

“just.. love you” you shrug nonchalantly, breaking the intense gaze as your fingers reach out the fiddle with the ones still at your waist- an uncertainty to your already fragile tone.

an obvious fear that you may say the wrong thing, running him off to the hills after getting only a sliver of what could be.

your not sure what to expect but it isn’t his fingers tangling into yours, locking them together and squeezing to gain your attention again.

his chest presses against yours as he leans closer to your face, pecking your lips softly a couple of times before mumbling the words bashfully against them, “love ya too”

you’re at a loss of words, gasping softly as your hands untangle from his to grasp at his face, fingers brushing the stray hairs away so you could get a clear look of his face.

his sight lowers, staring more at your chin in obvious embarrassment, alongside the flash of red that spreads over the apple of his cheeks.

you bite your lip in hopes of curbing your amused smile but you can’t- too overjoyed with his words as you force him to look at you and as if seeing the clear happiness of your own features, he fights to hide his own.

“say it again” you sweetly mock his words from earlier, making daryl rolls his eyes playfully, grumbling as he shifts above you. the new position having his cock pressed against your core- sending a thrilling shock of heat through both you as if you had forgotten where you guys were.

a gasp releasing from both of your mouths as you move against one another, searching for that pleasurable feeling again.

you’re just finding a good rhythm, timing the roll of your hips perfectly with his so that the head of his cock nails your swelling clit everytime but he sits back- an action that has you whining in protest.

“quit tha’” he slaps a hand on your thigh, your body jerking at the delicious sting it brings, before he is guiding his cock to your slick hole. your senses are in overdrive after your first orgasm, the slow stretch of him pushing into you is a tad overwhelming as you reach out for one of his hands. his expression softens, his free hand rubbing soothingly up and down your thigh, even leaning over to press a little kiss on your knee.

your eyes are closed, chest heaving in deep breaths as you feel him enter you inch by inch slowly. in a normal fit of hurried passion, driven by nothing but lust, these moments are easily skipped over. fast paced with only one goal; release.

but now, as you grip onto one hand, his other softly grazing over your body with the odd kiss: it’s nothing but in the rawest form of love.

the simplicity of intimacy.

pressed all the way in, you find your body quickly morphing around the intrusion of him and your eyes finally open, finding his own on your face.

“‘kay?” physically feeling his small loving touches give no justice to the way his eyes glimmer fondly, a small hint of relief in them as if he has been waiting equally as long for you as you have for him.

maybe he has.. maybe his lack of emotions was a protective wall around his heart incase you didn’t truly feel anything for him- other than the odd fleeting need of release.

but you do, you always have and you try your best to convey that through your own expression while nodding to his question.

he chooses in that moment to move, sliding his cock out and slowly thrusting back in.

“ah..” your lips open in a blissful gasp, hips rolling down to meet his.

“yeah?” his tone is soft, hand coming down so his thumb could rub at your swollen clit, the shock of pleasure having you clench around his sensitive cock: a reaction that has him groaning, body slouching until his naked chest rests against yours, his face falling into your neck as his thrusts become more desperate.

your free hand comes to rest on the back of his head, tangling into the unruly strands as he bites at your collarbone with growls of pleasure. your still linked hands press further into the couch, now next to your head as this new position only allows your bodies to slide against each other but it’s enough. your sensitivity bringing your second release faster than the first while daryl heads for his first one after holding back for so long.

his hips stutter against your constant rolling, an attempt to make this last a little bit longer but you only torture him further- intentionally squeezing your walls around him.

“fuck” he pants hotly against your neck, “‘m gonna come if ya don’ stop”

“want you too” you huff back as your motions double down, the combination of your cunt clenching around his thick pulsing cock and the consistent sway of your body against him only pushes him closer to coming but he no longer fights it.

your stomach is tightening in heat as you yank his hair, forcing his head to come out from your neck, teeth clashing a bit clumsy as you pull his mouth to yours.

“do it” you egg him on, lips barely brushing his as he grits his teeth, “‘m yours, yeah? show me”

your bodies slide easily with the building layer of sweat on your skin from the amount of exertion you both use to challenge the other.

“fuckin’..” daryl presses his lips harshly against yours before his hips jerk sharply as he cums, groaning loudly and dropping his forehead on yours as he pants through the buzzing pleasure.

the sight has you nearing your own orgasm, gasping brokenly as you feel his cock twitch, painting your walls white and claiming you in a primal way that sends tingles from your stomach to your toes.

“please.. ‘m so close” you beg prettily as daryls orgasm passes, his attention immediately focusing on your approaching second one as he thrusts shallowly: so deep you feel him hitting spots that bring tears to your eyes, momentarily blurring your vision.

the quick build up has you babbling nothing but nonsense and the odd slip of his name. he has to lean back to take in the enticing vision you’ve become, head thrown back with your eyes shut tight, pink plump lips open to let out the most delicate sounds.

both of your hands now hold his biceps in a deathly grip, trying to find something to ground you as your high gets closer.

daryl tips forward to bite playfully at your chin, “look at me sweethear’”

you whimper before complying, dropping your head down heavily to peer up at him through wet lashes. he holds the eye contact as his hips increase in pace and force, now with his hands free: one settles next to your head, balancing his body above you while the other grips at your waist, pulling you down to meet his.

your second orgasm teeters on the edge of release and it’s like daryl can sense it, leaning down to connect your lips once more before mumbling against them, “‘m girl looks so pretty, hm? tha’s it… gonn’ come one more time fo’ me? promise i’ll take care of ya, let me see sweethear’.. told ya i love ya”

the heartfelt words send you over, your hands pulling him closer as you arch up into him. your eyes roll to the back of your head, cunt clenching tightly around his sensitive cock and thighs trembling around his hips. your cries of pure joy are followed by dry sobs as you try and catch your breath after such an intense high.

daryl is quick to meet your fragile state, petting your hair down as he places small kisses all over your cheeks, nose, corner of your lips, chin, neck, anywhere he could reach as you go through the full motions of your orgasm.

when your body drops heavily back into the couch, your eyes are shut in exhaustion, fully residing in his sweet pampering. the ticklish feeling of his scruffy beard against your neck has you giggling breathlessly, which only results in him groaning in response as you unconsciously squeeze around him.

he lifts to fully pull himself out of your body, both of you hissing in mild discomfort. for a split second as he removes his body completely and stands, you expect him to begin putting his clothes on, preparing to take his usual swift leave but instead he reaches under your body, lifting you bridal style.

“daryl!” you squeal as your arms wrap around his shoulders, an amused smirk falling onto his face as he carries you up the stairs to your ensuite bathroom in silence.

your next actions are equally as quiet, him leaving to grab towels and clothes while you use the restroom and begin the shower. standing infront of the mirror, you take in the new lovebites that scatter around your naked body, luckily in spots you can hide easily. a flush taking over your features even more when he appears in similar fashion: completely nude with scratches and nail indents- a true mess you’ve made of one another.

he hides a coy smile as he saddles behind you, taking in the mere sight he created upon you. you shiver when his hands settle on your hips before slipping to wrap around your front, pulling your back into his chest as he pressing a soft kiss on your shoulder.

all of his motions tender and loving- something you’ve yearned after for years from him.

and it’s finally happening, a little quicker than you thought too but maybe a little bit of coaxing from both sides is all you guys needed to fall into the right rhythm.

you feel a bit ridiculous that it took this long but the reality of it happening now, you can’t seem to linger on anything other than pure happiness as he holds you so closely.

his blue eyes peek up from behind your shoulder, “‘kay?”

your eyes sparkle with newfound warmth, “i’m okay, you?”

he playfully nibbles at your shoulder, tightening his hold on you even more as you laugh delightfully in response.

the shower is quick, intimate, soft and loving. both of you tending to one another as if you’ve done it for years and maybe you have in your own odd ways- daryl always keeping an eye out for you on supply runs, making sure you had enough for dinner even if it meant giving up some of his, bringing back things he knows you’ll like but gifting them anonymously while you loved him unconditionally, selflessly more giving than taking, accepting his many flaws and mistakes, understanding when he needs space, caring for him in all the ways he would allow you from afar.

he felt like he had a lot of making up to do but once again, you didn’t care as you laid upon his naked chest. freshly cleaned with minimal clothing on, your bodies lay above the sheets, basking in the cool breeze that flowed through the cracked window of your bedroom. the aftermath of the storm bringing glimpses of sunlight and light wind.

a certain calmness relaying over the both of you.

your leg was thrown over his hips, warm body pressed entirely to his side as your head rose with the slow rise and fall movement of his chest, the beating of his heart thudding softly in your ear as one of his hands softly rub your back, the other splaying across his own stomach, loosely wrapped around the wrist of your hand that continues to trace hearts on his chest.

if there was a way to touch you, he was doing it- enjoying the fact that you too, wanted this and diving head first into everything clumsily but oh so sweetly.

the heavy weight of his arms around your body and the warm consistent press of his hands was only a constant reminder that this was infact real.

he was here to finally just stay.

and while you know that this only the beginning, that both of you had to have real, long, uncomfortable conversations about your feelings- this was more than enough for now.

just you, him and his soft hands.

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon fic #daryl dixon x female reader #daryl dixon x reader fic #norman reedus #the walking dead #twd x reader #daryldixon #rite4fun #romantic pairing #light angst

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shadowdaddies · 1 year ago

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What a surprise I have another request!! So im thinking either azriel or cassian you can pick. But I just want something where he gets back from a long mission and they’ve missed each other so much. And maybe some smut or just a steamy make out sesh but where they are talking between kisses and just catching each other up between moans and stuff. Idk just some fluffy smut! Love you so much! Thank you!

Hi love!! Personally I'm feeling down bad for Cassian right now so this definitely went smutty with him. thanks for the request as always💜

Stay with Me

Cassian x Reader smut

Warnings: smut below the cut, minors dni

The sound of Illyrian wings beating pulled you from the book you were reading. You sent a questioning tug on the bond, quickly receiving a playful one back. Smiling ear to ear, you bounded out the door and into the snow where Cassian had just landed.

You ran full speed into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist as you hugged him so fiercely, as though he might disappear if you let go. “You’re not allowed to leave me ever again,” you whispered into his neck, savoring his scent as you threaded your fingers through his long hair.

Cassian took a long, deep breath as he held you tight, pulling away after a long moment only to press kisses to any exposed skin he could find. “I don’t think I could stay away that long again if I tried, sweetheart.”

You were vaguely aware of Cassian walking, feeling him open the door behind you as you were brought back into the warmth of your home. You moved to press a kiss to his neck, brushing aside the hair that had fallen from his leather tie as you ran your nose up his jaw. Cassian inhaled sharply, letting out a groan when he felt your lips press on his pulse point, sucking harshly as you claimed your mate. “Fuck, I’ve missed those lips,” he murmured, still holding you as he made his way up the stairs to your bedroom.

You smiled against his skin, continuing to kiss along his neck and jawline. You wiggled your hips against his playfully, earning another groan as he brought his hands to squeeze your ass. “I’ve missed this ass,” he practically growled as he kicked the door open. Cassian threw you on the bed, relishing in the view of your hair splayed out beneath you, you staring up at him with need as you subconsciously writhed on the bed.

“Cauldron, I’ve missed those eyes,” he whispered - almost more to himself this time - as he circled around to the foot of the bed. “I love you,” you said softly, suddenly overcome by emotion. You had missed your mate so much, it was painful to be apart for so long, as if someone had stolen part of your soul - and you finally had him back. Cassian must have felt your feelings through the bond, because he paused, eyes softening as you gazed at each other. “I love you, too. More than you know, sweetheart.”

In a flash, Cassian’s demeanor changed to a mischievous look you knew far too well. He grabbed your ankles, tugging you to the edge of the bed as he settled in between your thighs - your skirt sliding up around your waist as you yelped at the sudden movement. Lifting one of your legs in the air, Cassian kissed your above your ankle. “Let me show you how much I’ve missed you,” he murmured against your skin. He kept his hungry gaze fixed on yours as he trailed marks up your leg, pausing above your clothed center. “Beautiful,” he breathed, sending a shiver up your spine.

You let out a pathetic whimper when Cassian moved to your other leg, leaving you arching desperately towards his touch. With a dark chuckle, he pinned your hips to the bed, continuing his worship as he marked your other leg, whispering praises as he worked.

You were dizzy with need when Cassian finally brought a finger to the waistband of your underwear, running his hand along the edge of the fabric. You gasped, babbling incoherently, begging for more from him. Pinning your legs to the sides, Cassian pressed a warm kiss to your center, his tongue wet against your already soaked panties. Inhaling deeply, he muttered, “gods, you’re so wet, sweetheart.”

Whimpering, you struggled against his firm hold. “Fuck, Cass. Please stop teasing.” Cassian rand his hand over your lower stomach. “As my mate wishes,” he winked, ripping the remaining fabric from your body. You locked eyes with him as he lifted the scrap of fabric to his face, inhaling deeply, eyes growing dark.

Cassian dove in, eating you out like the touch starved male that he was. Sucking your clit harshly, your back bowed off the bed, gripping his hair as your eyes rolled back. “Fuck, that’s so good, you’re so good Cass,” you babbled praises through your bliss as Cassian pushed a finger into you, curling against your walls.

You reached your high quickly, sensitive from going so long without your mate’s touch. Screaming his name, you came down from your orgasm to see Cassian crawling over you. “Suck,” he ordered, and you eagerly obeyed, taking his fingers into your mouth, swirling your tongue around and flicking the tips of them.

Eyes flickering in reaction, Cassian quickly unbuttoned his pants and lined himself up with your entrance. You were both done with being patient as you urged him inside of you by your ankles, moans muffled around his fingers as he settled fully inside of you. “Good girl,” Cassian cooed, massaging your tongue with his fingers as they swallowed your moans.

You could tell Cassian was holding back, moving in slow but precise strokes as he focused on your reactions. Pulling his fingers away, you urged Cassian to flip over so that you were on top, his back leaning against the headboard. You sank down onto his length, admiring his expression as he watched you bounce up and down on him, taking his length as deep as you could.

Cassian brought his thumb to your clit, rubbing circles as you moved, and you quickly reached your second orgasm, collapsing against his chest as you attempted to catch your breath. “Fuck, Cass,” you laughed, “I can’t move anymore.” He chuckled, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I’ll take over from here, sweetheart.” He gripped your hips, propping himself up on his feet as Cassian held you in place, nothing more than a limp doll as he fucked up into you at a ruthless pace.

You were a drooling mess by the time you felt Cassian twitch inside you, his own release barreling through him as he bit down on your shoulder. You both collapsed on the mattress, too exhausted to move while you caught your breath.

After what felt like hours, Cassian stroked your hair, murmuring “I need to take a bath.” You hummed, nodding. “As long as you bring me with you.” Cassian tilted your chin up so that you were looking in his eyes as he promised, “of course you are. I’m not letting you leave my side for a long while, sweetheart.”

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stratocumulusperlucidus · 2 months ago

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Mind the tags and take care of yourselves 💖

(Let me know if i should add other tags, i'll probably be posting about this a bit more but i know it's a sensitive topic)

No easy way to say this so i'll just rip off the band-aid. Janet had chronic kidney disease and it got worse and she passed away on Wednesday. I'm glad we were with her at the end and I'm glad she isn't suffering anymore and I miss her so so much.

Thanks everyone who sent good vibes and kind words last week 💖💖💖 we might complain a lot about tumblr being a hellsite and sometimes it is but there's so many kind people here and i really appreciate all of you 💖

I wrote about some of my favorite things about Janet because she was a great cat and everyone should know a little bit about her.

Most nights Janet would lay down on me, on my legs or on my back, or cuddle up against me. And I was always careful not to move too much to avoid disturbing her, but if I did, she would always come back anyways. Going to bed without her is probably the hardest thing.

When I was working from home, she would often come see me in the afternoon and curl up on my lap. If i had a zoom meeting, she would walk on the couch behind me or step on my lap to ask for attention and my coworkers always enjoyed seeing her.

She was never a very active or playful cat, but she was so cuddly. She could spend hours laying down on my lap or on my chest or against me. She liked it when we scratched her neck, and she would press against our hand so we scratched harder. She liked to get forehead kisses and she liked to give head bonks (she would bonk us pretty hard sometimes, it was almost kinda painful!)

She knew where to sit on the stove to make it beep to get our attention so we would open the tap to let her drink.

She was never the most agile cat, always very prudent and careful. Like she would wait for us to move our arm from the armrest so she could step down from the back of the couch instead of jumping from it. She wouldn't jump up on something without first looking up if she could.

She liked to lay down in the sun in the morning. Stretch out and bask in the warmth, flopped down on the balcony or on the carpet.

She always knew where to find the best cozy quiet places to nap. A few times we were searching for her for a while and we were so worried, up until we found her, asleep on a pile of towels in a bathroom cabinet we left half open.

She was so soft. She smelled so good. I miss her.

Grief is weird and i never know how to comfort people going through it because it's so different for everyone so i thought i'd share what i think might help me feel better. If you'd like, here's some things i would appreciate:

Send pictures of the pets you love or the pets you lost and tell me about them

Send fluffy or smutty fic recs (i've been reading please, please have me and re-reading voice note because i guess smut is comforting? Idk, grief is really weird)

Tight hugs / cuddle pile? being crushed and smothered by mutuals sounds nice rn

#tw animal death #tw pet death #tw death #tw pet loss #Janet

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liverpool-enjoyer · 3 months ago

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Max! Can you please recc some pedrigavi fics? Xx

"max can you recommend some pedrigavi fics" MY BELOVED WUNGI YOU ARE ASKING IF THE POPE IS CATHOLIC!!!

best friend i truly think ive read every completed non smutty pedrigavi fic there is 😭😭 however i have this habit of not bookmarking shit so my memory is all i have to go off of lmao.

starting off strong w something written by MY GOAT is i'm stupid for your love by the bestest, @tl-trashtalk. tell me rn that theres anything more romantic than dedicating a goal to someone. i'll wait. very cute very fluffy. what more could you want.

another one i wanna recommend is 10 Firsts by OsByLynn. i read it almost a year ago so my memorys kinda fuzzy but i remember it being rlly cute!!! its a buncha firsts for the couple, like first kiss, first ily, etc n its SO sweet n fluffy n adorable. plus theres a WEDDING n i am a SUCKER for weddings. i'd argue all fics should have a wedding. every single one.

another fic i wanna mention is i know my pain is such an imposition by aesthetes. it follows gavis recovery, n again i wanna reiterate that i havent read it since it came out in december so my memory is KIIIINA ass but i remember it being SUPER sweet. plus the title is a taylor reference so. immediate brownie points.

oh n i GOTTA MENTION Promise me? by Jellyyfree. it features ace gavi n yall KNOW how much i love ace gavi. the projection goes crazy w this lil guy.

my baby here on earth, showed me what my heart was worth by nehvermind is jus so cute. the boys are so in love n they have the cutest lil first kiss. feels very nervous, all-consuming teenage romance. well not that i would know. but probably.

OHMYGOSH i jus GOTTA mention Days When You and I by @itsjustthatfics. ohmyGOSH i could wax poetic abt this fic all day. EASILY one a my favorite pedrigavi fics. the story is so well written n cute n funny n the format oh the FORMAT. its in a script / screenplay (idk if those are interchangable so film majors pls forgive me) format n i LOVE it since i like,,, visualize things in my head as a movie?? if that makes sense?? anyways yeah mandatory pedrigavi reading.

would you still love me? by arianagrandebrainrot is v funny n v cute. revolves around an important, relationship make-or-breaking question. feels like a conversation these two would have.

oh n as an obligatory plug theres my fic i want to be loved (not to be touched). but if we're being honest w ourselves this is less pedrigavi n more gavi being sad while simultaneously being in love w pedri.

ok i think thats it. its late n im v tired. thank you SOSOSO much for this ask tho wungi cause i can talk abt pedrigavi for BREAKFAST LUNCH N DINNER.

#IF PEDRIGAVI HAS ONE FAN ITS ME!!! (says a woman whos written one (1) pedrigavi fic)#ty for the ask <3 #gavi #pablo gavi #pablo martín páez gavira #pedri #pedri gonzalez #fcb #barcelona #fc barcelona #spain nt #pedrigavi #wungi

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seresinhangmanjake · 2 years ago

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Back for More

Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Reader

Summary: Jake up and left you without explanation right before a mission. Now he’s returned wanting you back, but you want that explanation before you’ll be willing to let go of the pain and heartbreak from his sudden departure a month prior.

Notes/Warnings: the beginnings of smut and smutty thoughts, so 18+, Minors DNI. Fluffy ending, angsty-ish, cursing, heartbreak stuff. Idk why I added an emotional attachment to peanut butter in this, but it’s in there. I’m sorry if you’re allergic. Just switch it out with frosting. Works just as well.

Also: This is unrelated to Signed Away. I know—random, odd time to post this, but I finished it so…yea. Sorry if that disappoints :(

Join my tag list

Words: 2518

Requested: Yes, mostly. The peanut butter thing is my weirdness alone though.

-------

He liked peanut butter. He liked eating it off you; spreading a thin layer along the line of your neck, or over your stomach, or around the hardened peaks of your breasts, just to lick it away. He would kiss you and you’d taste it on his tongue, that mixture of the pasty substance and your sweaty skin. He loved it, like it was the flavor of a drug he was unashamedly addicted to. He moaned like he would dedicate an hour of every day worshipping you in that way. And that’s exactly how he saw it, how you once saw it as well…worship.

After he left, you hated the stuff. It was too sticky, too gooey. Too salty or too sweet depending on the brand you bought, so you stopped buying it altogether. It wasn’t the same. Under that layer of salt or sweet was a glob of bitterness that made you spit out any spoonful you shoved past your lips. It hit your tongue and all you could taste was him. Him, after he had licked all over your body.

So you hated peanut butter—now—all because of Jake Seresin.

A month had passed without him. A month without any news. Those thirty days had come and gone, and you still had no idea if he was okay, if he was alive and safe. If not, you certainly wouldn’t be among the first notified, if notified at all. Jake claimed he wanted you to meet the important people in his life—his mother, his siblings, his team—but then he ended your relationship, and you didn’t have the slightest understanding of how many people knew of your existence, let alone who you once were to each other.

You tried to convince yourself that if he didn’t need you then you didn’t need him. And you were able to stay true to that conviction until a thought of him entered your mind or a random muscled, six-foot tall, blond man entered your peripherals while trying to run your errands. When that happened, you were left with no choice but to retreat to your bed and hug your knees to your chest as you gave it your best effort to breath in and out at a steady rhythm.

But when you inhaled, he was still beside you. No matter how many times you washed your bed sheets, you couldn’t escape his scent. It enveloped you. You drowned in it, letting it fill your lungs until the exhaustion of suffocating on tainted air wore you to sleep. And for a few hours, you didn’t have to remember it, him, and the agony that was eating away at you.

Don’t wake up. You heard the words, cloudy and out of reach. Just let us stay like this.

You could still smell him, but a warmth accompanied the scent now. The chill that had taken his place when he left now surrendered to the balminess of body heat. Featherlight touch made a line from your hairline to your jaw. A ghost’s fingertips. It was too good, too reminiscent of what home used to feel like, and you didn’t want to tempt the fates that whispered little cruelties of none of it being real, so you listened to the hazy words and let yourself stay in your dream, tucked away from reality.

When you woke, the world was gray. Sunless gray phasing into black. For the first time, you felt a kinship with Mother Nature. Perhaps she was miserable at the moment as well. Maybe she had turned the sky drab and filled it with dark, swollen clouds because she too thought she sensed her lost lover only to realize they had been a figment of the unconscious. If that was the case, then you took back every time you cursed her for pelting rain or frigid winds. No one deserved the pain of—

“Hi.”

You perked at the sound—a jolt to the system—and you whipped around. He stood somewhat rigid in your doorway, drying his damp hands on one of your dishrags. You’d seen this image before: Jake standing before you, waiting with a smile on his face for you to fully wake so he could drag you into the kitchen for an expertly prepared breakfast. But there was no smile this time, no gentle curve to the lips, no glint in the irises.

“Are you real?” you asked, blinking once, twice, to clear your vision, but he was still there.

“Real as ever,” he replied softly.

You couldn’t hold back your light scoff, your eyes rolling and landing on the rag in his hands as he continued.

“I, uh…” he threw a thumb over his shoulder in the general direction of your kitchen, “I made you something to eat. When I came in earlier you looked like you could use some—”

“Jake, what the hell are you doing here?”

A beat passed. He stared blankly, like your question was out of the realm of the conversation, like it belonged somewhere else. Then his head fell forward, shoulders slumping to match his look of defeat as he fiddled with the rag. He tossed it on the mattress and ran a perfect hand through his perfect hair before looking at you.

“I’m back,” he answered simply. Too simply, irritatingly so.

“I didn’t invite you back.”

“I know, baby, but I need to explain—”

“You dumped me!”

“I made a mistake!” He snapped, then much quieter, repeated, “I made a mistake, ok?”

He waited for you to give him something in return, but you had nothing to give, nothing to share, nothing to reassure him that you felt any emotion at his words.

“I…” He took a step forward, but further examination of your empty features had him halting. “I thought I was doing you a favor.”

Your eyebrow quirked and you resisted the urge to cross your arms like a brat. “A favor?”

“Yes,” he breathed. “A month ago, I was assigned on a mission that forced me to remember the harsh sacrifices my job requires; not just of me, but of those I love,” he said, taking a seat on the edge of the mattress, still a good four feet from you. “I couldn’t guarantee it was going to end well. And realizing that it might not told me all I needed to know. That you don’t deserve to have the burden of losing someone you love that way. You shouldn’t have a boyfriend or husband who might end up dead.”

You considered it all, words absorbing into every pore and vein of your body. But once it sunk in, anger was what surfaced in its place. If that thought were ever to cross someone’s mind, it should have been yours; yours well before it should have been his. And yet, never did it. Not once had anything remotely close breached the barrier around your mind. That was how much you loved him. That was how dedicated and devoted you were. Everything you gave to him—your body, heart, emotions, love, loyalty—you had handed over with purpose. You knew you were giving yourself to the right person, and yet, the right person let you go.

“That’s not how it works, Jake,” you said. “You don’t just leave someone because of…” you shook your head, “If you loved me you—”

“I do love you!” he said sternly; not harshly, yet with absolute surety. “I have always loved you, Y/N, so do not try to take that away from me.”

“Then what do you want, Jake?”

“I want everything,” he replied. “I want you to want me back. I want to see you every day. I want you to…” His mouth was open, caught in mid-sentence, but then it closed as a cautious smile spread across his face. “I just want you.”

“And you’re suddenly fine with the idea of us being together again?” Thinning your lips, you shrugged your shoulders in false, nearly sarcastic, nonchalance. “Just like that? No big deal?”

“My job shouldn’t be a defining factor in our relationship. It took me losing you to see that, but believe me, I see it.”

“You didn’t lose me, Jake. You gave me up.”

The painful reminder pinched his features. “I know, and I’m a selfish prick for coming back, but not being with you…” He sighed and swallowed, then he shook his head and said, “I don’t know, sweetheart. Living life not being together may be an option for you, but it isn’t an option for me. I was stupid to think I could convince myself otherwise.” He looked down at his hands. Fingers intertwining, he leaned forward and braced his elbows on his knees. A few strands of hair fell from the defined shape but he didn’t bother to fix it.

A heavy sigh fell from his lips.

“If you decide you don’t want me,” he continued, his voice slicing into the few moments deafening silence, “that’s your right. But I don’t think I’ll ever get over you.”

“Why?”

He chuckled weakly and finally smoothed the wayward hairs back into place. “I’m not entirely convinced it’s possible.”

“And you think it’s possible for me?”

He turned his head to look at you, desperation clashing with more desperation. “I’d rather it not be,” he said, “but to wish for that would be selfish as well.”

It most certainly would be. You’d spent hours, days, weeks, going over in your head what you would say if ever you were to meet Jake Seresin again after what he’d done. Cursing was in abundance in your imaginings, spoken in an unrestrained tone while you held back unshed tears like a seasoned champ. The words exchanged in the last few minutes didn’t do justice to those thoughts, but now, as you looked at him and heard his truth, you couldn’t find it in you to spit more his way. So, selfish was he, yes, but his wish was not so unlikely to be granted. You knew you would never get over him either.

Sitting up on your knees, you crawled across the mattress until you were close enough to lean your chest against his back and wrap your arms around his neck. A large hand landed on one of your forearms, sliding back and forth along your skin.

“I missed you,” he said, quiet, practically to himself as he pressed a kiss to the inner side of your wrist. “I missed your scent.” Another kiss, lips open, accompanied by a small, warm lick from his tongue. “I missed your taste.”

You rested your chin on his shoulder and he turned his head to catch your eye. His gaze darted to your lips and back.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

Your breath shallowed, but you nodded.

He didn’t instantly attack you the way you anticipated. Instead, he licked his lips, shifted his body, and with a gentle hand, pushed you down on the mattress until he was hovering above you. The leg he had wedged between your thighs brushed against your barely clothed core, forcing a whimper that was cut short by the press of his lips on yours.

“God, I didn’t think you’d ever let me touch you again,” he whispered between kisses, “I thought I—”

“Jake,” you stopped him, your hands on either side of his face, “if you do this a second time…if you leave…”

“Baby, I won’t,” he swore. “We don’t have to keep going right now if you don’t want to, but I’m not leaving you.”

Your stare flicked back and forth from his right eye to his left and back again, searching for a lick of dishonesty. Trust was never an issue in your relationship before, but this time, and rightly so, you wanted to verify his sincerity for yourself. His eyes never lied, and thankfully you could see now that he wasn’t deceiving you.

“Then I want you inside me,” you said as you reached your hand between your bodies and began to take apart his belt. He watched your fingers work, his eyes briefly slamming shut when you snuck your hand behind the band of his underwear to pull out his hardening cock.

“Really?” he breathed out in relief. His pearly whites peeked through the soft curve of his lips.

You smiled back. “Really, Jake.”

With the hand not wrapped around him, you gathered your t-shirt up to your navel and reached toward your thighs to pull the center of your underwear to the side. The chill that hit your core made you clench tightly, desperate to have something fill you. “Come on, baby.”

You gently tugged on his cock until he moved closer and lowered himself on top of you. Your hips lifted, forcing his tip to bump against your clit, and Jake blew out a jagged breath, allowing his head to fall into the crook of your neck. He took three more inhales, heat of the exhales fanning against your collarbone, then his hand lightly slapped at yours so he could take his cock back before he lined up with your entrance and guided himself through your folds.

“Everyone still wants to meet you,” he said.

You both laid on your sides, chest to chest, your arm wrapped around his waist as he brushed his fingers through your hair and gently massaged your scalp. You were still a bit dizzy in the aftermath of what you’d done to one another. Your head was a little heavy, and your eardrums felt full and fuzzy from your rushing blood, and your eyelids were growing weak. You shifted your leg and were reminded of the ache at your core. You’d not had sex in a month and Jake had a cock not easily adjusted to. He had been careful with you, gentle, and he took his time, but that didn’t stop his size from stretching you to your limit.

“They know about me?” You asked. The question came out lazily, thick and syrupy with elongated words.

“Mhmm.” He pressed a kiss to your damp forehead. “My mom is begging. I told her if you take me back then I’m going to marry you—or going to try to, anyway, seeing as you’d have to agree.”

Your head tilted back so you could better look him in the eyes. “Jake—”

“Don’t panic,” he soothed. “I’m not asking now. I think we both know I need to earn it first.”

You smiled and lengthened your neck for a kiss, which he eagerly returned, before tucking your head against his chest. You pressed your lips to his pec and nuzzled into him. He smelled amazing, even with the layer of your combined dying sweat sticking to his muscled body. He smelled like home. And Jake was home, your home, just as you were his.

“I’ve missed the peanut butter, Jake,” you mumbled.

He chuckled and hugged you closer and said, “I love you too, baby.”

A/N: I have no real excuse for this. The idea just wouldn’t leave my head.

tags: @marvel-ousnesss @thespeeder @nobody7102 @marrianena @blue-aconite @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @dempy @chaoticassidy @alana4610 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @dracosluvbot @smoothdogsgirl @smit41 @wkndwlff @rileyloves5 @gigisimsonmars @hangmanbrainrot @withakindheartx

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btsgotjams27 · 2 years ago

Text

fool for you ~ jjk | final

you have to decide if jeon jungkook is perfectly wrong for you.

✨ title: fool for you | ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader ✨ word count: 7.7k | ✨ rating: R ✨ genre/au: romance, light angst, fluff | college, fake dating, strangers to friends to lovers ✨ warnings: language, jk is a sweet dummy, but we love him anyway, jieun is just as insecure as reader and jungkook (yes, i'm trying to make y'all feel bad for her), confessions, taehyung's a good friend, time skip, jin's shoulders (you'll understand when you see the photo), yoongi shows up again, kissing, making out, marking, a smol, not so smol erection 🙈, groping, touching ✨ playlist ✨ a/n: okay, so, i'm just not happy with how this fic went T_T i literally have no one to blame but myself! the end of part 4 was actually never supposed to happen, but i wrote it in anyway *facepalm* i was stressed for days bc i'm like how do i redeem this cute, fluffy couple?? *sigh* but i tried my best(?), and i *do* explain why jk did what he did, and if you don't like it, then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk what to tell you. anyway, sorry for the rant, but i just wanted to thank @here4btsfics for listening to me ramble about this fic and talking me through some plot points. ily. ✨ a/n 2: this is also not beta'd bc well, i'm impatient af. so if you see typos, that's why lol. ✨ if y'all want any cute or smutty (must be off anon) drabbles with this couple, just drop it in my inbox :) ✨ Any feedback, reblogs, and asks are appreciated.

[ SERIES MASTERLIST ] prev

Jungkook was ashamed of his actions at the carnival. It wasn't fair that he kept the kissing booth from you. Instead of letting it unravel as it did, he should have told you the truth. He didn't want to do what 'old Jungkook' would have done to make Jieun jealous. Because you had nothing in common with her. You were thoughtful and generous. And he realized he was bringing out a side of you you didn't know you had until he showed up - and that wasn't fair.

But he did enjoy that you took ownership of him, dragging him away from the line of girls. That was sexy for him, but that's beside the point. He made a mistake and needed to make amends before it was too late.

So, he got up early and put on some decent clothing besides his standard oversized shirt and sweats. He double-checked his reflection in the mirror. Before opening the door, he tugged at the collar of the brown flannel and flattened the black slacks. However, he was greeted by none other than his ex.

"What are you doing here?" he deadpanned.

Jieun somehow looked like shit today. With barely there makeup, hair in a bun, an oversized hoodie, and leggings. "Can we talk?"

He stepped through the threshold, closed the door behind him, waited for her to continue, and was displeased to see her.

"I'm…leaving."

Jungkook eyebrows knitted together in confusion, thinking okay, then leave.

"I'm moving back to New York." Jieun had mentioned it when they were still together, but she never made the decision.

"'Kay, have a safe trip then," he mumbled, stepping aside from her. He had places to go anyway.

Jieun put her hand out to stop him. "Kook–we're going to leave things like this?"

Jungkook clicked his tongue. "What do you want me to say, Jieun?"

She shrugged. "I don't know…are you going to miss me? Us? The way we used to be?" Jieun had been kicking herself ever since she had slept with Jimin. She had no idea how lucky she was with Jungkook. She was certain she had lost him and could not get him back. She reasoned that the best way to let go of Jungkook was to start over in a new city, far away from all the pain and suffering she had caused.

Jungkook wasn't made of stone. He'd been with her for a year. Although their relationship was mostly physical, they had fun together. She was fun to party and sleep with, but he couldn't see himself with her in the future. Their relationship was never more than that. Was he to blame? Hers? Perhaps both. Could it be that they hadn't met the right person with whom to do all that 'relationship' stuff?

He shrugged. "Yeah, I guess." Jungkook didn't want to be a jerk. After the fiasco with her and Jimin, many of her friends completely abandoned her. He could tell she was lonely.

Jieun chuckled, reaching for the fuzzy pink bunny keychain attached to his keys. "Remember when you tried so hard to win that for me?"

Jungkook peered at the keys in his hand.

"Was that our first date?"

Jungkook nodded.

"You spent so much money. And I swear that game's rigged, plus that guy wasn't letting you off the hook either," the two of you chuckled at the memory.

"And then at the end, when you won it, you said you worked so hard for it that you were going to keep it." She leaned over, trying to catch his gaze. "See, we did have fun together."

He wasn't sure where she was going with this. Maybe she needed some sort of forgiveness or closure from him to move on with a new chapter of her life.

"I know you hate me, Kookie—"

Jungkook interrupted. "I don't hate you." Even though she has hurt him, he does not believe he will ever hate her, and he will never in his heart hate anyone. "I was upset and hurt, but I could never hate you."

With the number of women Jungkook had dated, one would think he was a fuckboy, but he was quite the opposite. He was always true to the person he was dating, which was one of many lessons his parents taught him.

Jieun smiled half-heartedly. "Kook, you're only saying that because you have a good heart. That is one of the many reasons I will never forget you." She moved in closer, fiddling with his shirt collar. "I know you don't owe me anything, but can I ask one thing from you, and then I promise you'll never have to see me again?"

Was she really going to be out of his life for good? She'd been a menace since she saw you and Jungkook together. But, out of the goodness of his heart, he would trust her one more time. "What is it?"

"Can you kiss me like you mean it?"

Jungkook let out a scoff. "Are you kidding me?"

After everything she's put him through, she dared to ask this of him. Jieun was at the top, having everything handed to her on a silver platter. Only now to be at the bottom, searching for anyone to talk to her. So Jungkook was her last resort because she knew he had a good heart even though she had hurt him.

"I know it's stupid to ask of you, but I love you, Kook. I just…I just want to remember us–you like how we used to be, you know…before…." She paused, not wanting to bring up her infidelity again. Her guilty conscience ate her alive, sucking her in like there was no tomorrow. She knew she messed up a good thing when she asked Jungkook to kiss her, going in knowing he'd say no, but she couldn't help but try.

"If I do this, you'll stop trying to come between Y/n and me?" Jungkook didn't know for sure if she'd go back on her word. But considering she was moving back to New York, he was putting his faith and trust in her.

She extended her pinky, hoping he'd reciprocate. He hesitated but chose the kiss over the pinky promise. He kissed her but felt nothing because he didn't have feelings for her—it was you. Jungkook knew he'd have to tell you about Jieun's kiss. He knew telling you was risky, but he'd rather tell you the truth than a lie.

Jungkook pulled away, cupping her face, gazing into her eyes one last time. "Goodbye, Jieun."

Jieun began to back away. He quickly opened the door to his room, closed his eyes, and exhaled deeply. He now had to find the strength to tell you he had kissed his ex and then confess his feelings. He anticipated you to reject him and move on.

Jieun noticed you approaching as she walked to the hall entrance. Jealousy resurfaced in her body as she realized she'd never get back on Jungkook's good side. Jieun did what she was good at—-she mocked you, saying you'd lost. But she was only saying those things to make herself feel better, even though she was miserable. She was well aware that she couldn't compete with you. Jungkook had fallen head over heels when she saw you kiss him at the party. She wished you would treat Jungkook a million times better than she could.

"I might kiss you," he whispered.

"I might just let you."

Every fiber of Jungkook's wanted to kiss every inch of you. Wanted to know your ins and outs, wanted to see what you loved, what your body craved, but he stopped himself. He thought, what was he doing? This isn't how he wanted to treat you. He wanted to treat you better than anyone he's been with before.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry. I'm being stupid and selfish and thinking with my dick instead of my head," he said, pulling back from you.

You couldn't believe how much you wanted to kiss him despite knowing he had kissed his ex-girlfriend. You hadn't even bothered to ask why he did it. "We're both stupid," your voice trembling, "I just saw you kissing your ex, and now I'm about to kiss you as well. I should...I should leave," you said as you turned to unlock the doorknob.

"Wait–do you even want to hear my explanation?"

You sighed, turning back to him. "What's there to explain Jungkook? You'll always be with girls like Jieun, and I'm not in her league. So I understand if you want to rekindle your relationship with her. People like you deserve to be together."

"So, you won't even give me a chance to explain? And what do you mean, people like us deserve to be together?"

"It's nothing–I…should go before I say something I regret."

"I was kissing her goodbye!" Jungkook cried out because he felt you would leave before he could explain himself.

You shook your head and scoffed. "That's some goodbye kiss. Bye, Jungkook."

"Look, I know you don't owe me anything, but can we just talk about this?"

You weren't sure what else there was to explain. This all started because you decided to shoot your shot with Jungkook. Then agreed to be his fake girlfriend and ended up liking him because he seemed like a decent enough guy. But in the end, it was you who was a fool.

If Jungkook truly cared about you as a friend, he would have told you about the kissing booth. He wouldn't have kissed all those girls in front of you if he was a good fake boyfriend.

But unfortunately, he was neither of those.

"You wanna talk?" you took a step toward him, pressing your hand on his chest, pushing him back. "Let's talk."

Jungkook was taken aback by your sudden boldness. He walked backward until he hit his bed and sat down.

"You could've told me about the kissing booth–as your fake girlfriend, that was unfair. Why are we pretending to date if you want to go around kissing other girls? If you were sucking faces with other girls, Jieun might not have cared, but I'm not her, and I care. I understand you had unfinished business with Jieun, but did you have to kiss her too? I was naïve to believe I could be friends with you because I didn't know who I was kidding when I tried to separate my romantic feelings from you. And, despite my best efforts, I fell for you."

Jungkook had previously had girls confess their feelings for him, but this was different. This felt real---genuine. You sounded like you were speaking from the heart. He's never had a confession like that before. After hearing everything, a part of him wanted to flee. He was afraid of not being good enough for you, especially after his actions. You deserved better than anything he could ever give you. He had no idea what you saw in him.

You stared at Jungkook and then at the floor, waiting for him to say something. "Well, you said you wanted to talk."

He paused to gather his thoughts before moving toward you while maintaining his distance. His heart was pounding in his chest, and his hands were sweating profusely. He was never good at having deep conversations.

"I'm sorry for not telling you about the kissing booth. I did it to make you jealous, to see how far you would go for me. I know it's stupid—you don't have to tell me twice."

Your eyes caught his for just a moment before looking away.

Jungkook let out a sigh. "I'm also sorry about Jieun. I won’t try to explain it further because I should have said no to her. But I was on my way to see you before she arrived. I came to tell you how much I like you and how I'm afraid of being in a real relationship because I'm afraid I'll mess up. And getting to know you over the last few weeks has made me realize you're far too good for me. That you are deserving of better than anything I could ever offer. I understand if you don't want to be friends or see me again, but I felt you should know how I felt about you."

His doe eyes explored your face trying to figure out what you were thinking. "So, what now?"

You shrugged. "I don't know, Jungkook. This whole thing is a mess." He nodded. "Maybe we should just stay friends."

"You still want to hang out with me?"

"Not like how we used to. At least for a little bit."

You needed time to recover. To keep your distance from Jungkook. To regain your footing. Get in the right frame of mind because everything Jeon Jungkook has clouded your judgment.

Everyone had final exams and presentations during the last week of school before the summer break. Fortunately, you only had one more exam before finishing your junior year.

It was a beautiful day to sit outside and study for your exam, so you did just that. You sat down beneath your favorite oak tree on campus, took out your world-lit book and notes, and flipped through your scribbled notes.

"Hey!"

You looked up to see Taehyung running over to you. Great, now what? You thought. "Hey," you replied, thinking you should be nice.

"Where are you headed for the summer?" he asked, inviting himself to sit next to you.

You found it odd because he's never struck up a conversation with you before. "I'm heading to my Aunt's in San Francisco," you said reluctantly, wondering where he was going with all of this.

"Cool."

You set down your book and notes, glaring at him." Why are you here, Taehyung?"

"Damn–a guy can't be curious? Sheesh–what's got your panties in a twist?" Taehyung cocked his brow.

You deadpanned, waiting for him to explain why he was talking to you.

"Okay–I'm here to talk about Jungkook."

You continued to stare blankly at him. You needed to understand what Jungkook had to do with anything. It's been a week since you last saw or spoke to him. You two agreed just to be friends and nothing else.

Taehyung cleared his throat, adjusting his position. "I need you to take him back."

"What? What do you mean?"

"He's been mopey and lovesick ever since you stopped dating. It's quite sickening to see it unfold in front of my eyes. All he can think about is how much he misses you, how much he misses hanging out with you, how much he misses this and that. He literally wears your hair tie as jewelry around his wrist. When you think about it, it's kind of creepy." For a brief moment, he looked off into the distance. "Anyway–all this to say is, for the love of god, please get back together with him. I can't stand him being like this anymore. I'm gonna fucking scream."

You couldn't help but chuckle at his request. It's strange how the tables have flipped. You were head over heels in love with Jungkook, and now you were the polar opposite. Granted, you were still trying to suppress your feelings for him, but hearing him be so lovesick over you made your heart skip a beat.

"He didn't tell you, did he?"

"Tell me what? That you guys were fake dating? He told me what went down after the kissing booth. I told him he was dumb for kissing all those girls if he really liked you, told him he should've just been honest with you from the get-go."

Wow–you definitely weren't expecting this conversation when Taehyung sat down next to you.

"Did Jungkook tell you to say all of this?"

Taehyung gave you a funny look. "What? No. I came here on my own accord. Just because I like to party and sleep around doesn't mean I don't care about my friends. Jungkook has always been there for me when I needed him, so I'm returning the favor. You can accept it as is or continue to make assumptions about my intentions."

"Sorry," you mumbled, "I hope you understand why I'm cautious about everything. But you understand why, right?"

"I get it. Jungkook hurt you by not being upfront about his feelings, but it's never too late to start over again."

"You're a good friend, Taehyung."

He flashed a boxy smile at you. "I know."

Arriving back at your dorm after dinner, you couldn’t stop thinking about your conversation with Taehyung. Your heart wanted to forgive Jungkook right away, but your head told you to slow down because that's how you got into trouble in the first place.

Your room was empty due to you and Lyla’s things being packed up and stored for the summer. Laying on your bed, a ding from your phone went off.

Jungkook 9:27 PM Hey. When are you leaving?

You 9:28 PM I’m leaving tomorrow. My flight is at 2.

Jungkook 9:29 PM Is it okay if I talk to you tomorrow before you leave?

You 9:30 PM Yeah. Meet me outside of my hall. Around 10?

Jungkook 9:31 PM Great! I’ll see you then!

The following morning, you woke up extra early to prepare for whatever Jungkook needed to talk to you about. You stood in front of the mirror, telling yourself, 'No' several times.

"What are you doing, weirdo?" Lyla asked as she came in, brushing past you to get her toothbrush.

"I'm hyping myself up to say no to Jungkook."

Lyla snickered, putting toothpaste on her toothbrush. "Uh-huh. Good luck with that, babe."

"You're very encouraging. Thanks," you said sarcastically.

She placed a kiss on your cheek before beginning to brush. "You're very welcome!"

You could see Jungkook waiting outside your hall's lobby as you walked through it. One thing you liked about him was that he was always on time. When you opened the door, it creaked loudly, alerting him to your presence.

Jungkook peered at you, sending a soft smile. "Hey."

"Hi," you answered with a thin smile, standing next to him.

"You look beautiful today."

Jungkook looked effortlessly good. He could never look bad if you were honest. He could wear a garbage bag, and you'd be on your knees. Today, however, he wore a blue and white windbreaker with a white tee and ripped jeans. You wished things had gone differently for the two of you.

You crossed your arms and mumbled, 'thank you,' curious why he wanted to talk. Perhaps he was trying one last time to convince you to be more than just friends. You'd think about it, but that was your heart, not your head. You knew better, and you'd been practicing saying one word, two letters, and 'no' all morning.

"You wanted to talk to me about something?"

"Yeah, um, I know we're just gonna be friends, and I'm totally cool with that, but I was wondering if you'd mind if I texted you this summer? Not all the time, but occasionally, just to check in on you and stuff?"

Okay, you thought. This is progress. You could do this–texting. It was pretty harmless, right? And it'd only be once in a while. Because one thing was for sure, you didn't want to go all heart eyes for him so quickly.

"Yeah, I think that'd be okay." Jungkook beamed when you said okay. "And where will you be this summer?"

"I'll be at my uncle's in Seattle. Gonna spend time with him and my Aunt. You should come to visit." You let out a chuckle, and then Jungkook realized what he had asked of you. "Sorry–I'm getting ahead of myself there."

"'S okay," you said. You found Jungkook's eagerness adorable. "Anything else?" You were hoping that was the only thing because you feared the longer you were in his presence, the more you'd want to give in to him.

"I hope you have a good summer," he said, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets and glancing at you.

"Thanks."

"I'll talk to you soon?"

You nodded, watching him walk away ahead of you. "Jungkook!" He turned around, his doe eyes wide open. It took everything you had not to say everything that was on your mind, but you had to bite your tongue. "Have a good summer."

His dimple was deeply etched into the softness of his cheek, and the corners of his mouth curved into a smile. He gave one last wave before departing.

When he was out of sight, you breathed a sigh of relief. Wanting to pat yourself on the back because you didn't let on more than you should. Your answers to his questions were short and concise, without hounding for more. Whew.

~ One month later ~

Staying at your Aunt's was great. You loved San Francisco. It was a completely different vibe from southern California. The weather was breezy, the sun was always out, and there were many things to do in the Bay Area.

Halfway into the month and you hadn't heard anything from Jungkook. It's not like you were jumping at every notification when your phone buzzed, but he did say he would text you.

"Why do you keep looking at your phone?" Your Aunt Jo asked, peering at your screen.

You flipped your phone over to hide your lock screen. "I'm not," you countered.

"You're waiting on a boy, aren't you?"

Flashing a thin smile, you quipped back at her. "I'm not."

"He'll call you, don't worry so much. It always happens when you're least expecting it."

Your Aunt's had her fair share of men and women, and tonight was no different. The new guy she was seeing insisted on cooking for her.

"Aunt Jo–how do you meet these guys?" you asked, wanting to know her secret. The new guy, Jin, was young, tall, handsome, and a chef in town with a hot new restaurant.

"Friend of a friend," she said with a cheeky smile. "He's cute, isn't he?"

You couldn't help but give him a once-over. Those shoulders were big enough to land a plane. You shielded your mouth with your hand, whispering, "Super cute."

"Okay, ladies. Are you ready to try my famous dish?" Jin asked, bringing over two plates with seared scallops on a bed of quinoa, apple salad, and butternut squash puree. You'd never had anything this fancy before.

"Thank you, baby," Aunt Jo flirted at the handsome man, reaching for a kiss, which he reciprocated.

A ding from your phone resounded through the kitchen. You eagerly reached for it but stopped yourself.

"You're not gonna see if it's your boyfriend?" Aunt Jo teased before taking a bite of her scallop. She groaned at the heavenly taste.

It was going to bug you if you didn't check. You grabbed your phone and nothing but a measly email. You're not sure why you were getting so worked up. You were the one that told Jungkook you only wanted to be friends, but here you were, glued to your phone in case he texted.

You sighed, trying to get a grip. You had integrity and dignity, and you weren't going to break down just because a boy hadn't texted you.

So, instead, you opened up your camera, taking a picture of this beautiful dinner. Then just as Aunt Jo had said, another ding indicating a picture message was sent to you.

Clicking on the bubble, it was a message from Jungkook.

Jungkook 7:36 PM This corn dog isn't as good as the one we had at the pier.

You 7:37 PM

Jungkook 7:38 PM Where's the rest of the entree?!

You 7:39 PM wdym?? 😂 That's it!

Jungkook 7:40 PM You should demand to get your money back. You were scammed.

You 7:41 PM This is fine dining! My aunt's boyfriend made this. He's a chef at a place called Trestle.

Jungkook 7:41 PM Fine dining, hmm? You like that stuff?

You 7:42 PM Idk. Never really cared for the finer things in life.

Jungkook 7:43 PM I'm offended! What about me?

You 7:43 PM 😂 Are you trying to get me to compliment you?

Jungkook 7:44 PM 😎

You 7:45 PM 😒 You're okay-looking. You should see my aunt's boyfriend. He's mighty fine.

"Earth to my favorite niece in the whole wide world! Remember to eat! You've been smiling ever since you picked up your phone."

"Have not!" you protested.

"My Jin can attest to that. Can't you?"

"Jojo is right. You've been smiling like a creepy doll and have yet to try my food, and that's an insult to me," Jin teased.

"Let me take a picture of you." Jin turned to you, giving you a smolder and pouty lips. "Thanks!" you said, returning to your phone.

"Wait–wait! Jinnie, take your shirt off!" Jo cried as Jin turned back around.

"Aunt Jo!"

"If you're going to make this boy jealous, might as well do it right." Your aunt gave her boyfriend a pouty face and he willingly did what she asked. He tugged his shirt off, telling you to get his best side, which apparently was his back side. And well, you couldn't disagree. Jungkook would definitely be jealous of Jin's worldwide shoulders.

You 7:50 PM

Jungkook 7:51 PM WHY ARE YOU SENDING ME NUDES OF OTHER MEN??

You 7:51 PM Blame my Aunt Jo. She suggested it. Anywho, time for dessert now. Byeee.

You have yet to hear back the rest of the night from Jungkook. It was good for you to be the first to end the conversation because, knowing you, you could text him all night, which would defeat the purpose of just being friends. You wanted to be cautious about becoming friends with him because it was all too easy to cross the line again.

~ Two months later ~

Texts with Jungkook were simple, a little flirty, but nothing more than that. He'd send you random pictures of things he was doing or food he'd be eating, and you did the same. Harmless and cute. Distance from him was a good thing, keeping you from getting in trouble.

Your goal this summer was to explore new things to do and see in San Francisco. Your Aunt and Jin helped by giving you a bucket list.

On today's list was Alcatraz. You weren't a fan of boats, but it was the only way to get onto the island. The nice thing was you had a friend to accompany you on this trip. Yoongi made a surprise visit, checking out a doctorate program in the area. He mentioned wanting to check it when he was your TA, so you thought it'd be fun to explore with him.

Jungkook 1:11 PM Made it to the gum wall.

You 1:20 PM 🤢 Don't get sick. Did you put one on there too?

Jungkook 1:21 PM 😎 Ofc I did. What's your view rn?

You 1:23 PM

Jungkook 1:24 PM Fun. You have a visitor today?

You 1:30 PM Yeah, he's checking out another school here.

Jungkook 1:31 PM Cool. Have fun!

"Who's that? Lover boy?" Yoongi teased.

You glared, tucking your phone away in your back pocket. "I don't have a lover boy," you huffed at him.

"What happened with you two, anyway?"

You shrugged, not really wanting to go into detail about your whole ordeal with Jungkook. What happened, happened and now the two of you were just friends.

"Well, whatever happened, just don't be so hard on yourself. You both probably screwed up, and neither of you is perfect, so learn from it and move on," Yoongi said casually, moving on with the rest of the tour group.

Shaking your head, you chuckled at his words. He was never a man of many words but you appreciate him for caring about you.

~ Three months later ~

You 10:27 AM

What's good here?

Jungkook 10:30 AM

What's good here? You're in Seattle? 🥲

You 10:32 AM YOU'RE IN SF?! 😩 This is like a missed connections ads lol

Jungkook 10:33 AM I guess this is what happens when all we do is send pictures, huh? 😅

You 10:34 AM Guess so lol

Jungkook 10:35 AM Have fun in Seattle.

You 10:36 AM Have fun in SF. I'll see you when we get back to school?

Jungkook 10:36 AM Definitely 💛

"What happened? You look sad," Aunt Jo mentioned when she saw the frown on your face.

"Oh, it's nothing," you stated with a wry smile, stuffing your phone in your bag. Today was not about you. It was about Jin.

"Were you expecting to see your boy while we were here?"

You rolled your eyes at her. No, you weren't expecting to see Jungkook because you assumed he'd be as busy as you were. Aunt Jo invited you to accompany her to Jin's new restaurant in Seattle, and you jumped at the chance. Okay, so you thought there was a chance you'd see Jungkook while in town. Unfortunately, luck was not on your side.

"I–no–I mean, maybe."

Aunt Jo stood before you, raising your chin and forcing you to look at her. "Sweetheart, it's okay to miss him or want to see him even though he hurt you. It's only natural, and you can't deny what your heart wants."

"Exactly–" Jin interrupted, "The heart wants what it wants," he said, kissing Aunt Jo's cheek from behind.

You debated if you should text him back, but what would it do? What would you even say? Hey, after thinking about it, I kind of wanna be more than friends? You were the one that initiated being friends again. What kind of person would you look like? Being super wishy-washy with your decisions. It was hard to keep your sense of worth when it came to Jeon Jungkook.

Throughout the rest of your trip to Seattle, you were good. You didn't text him besides when he would send you photos here and there of activities he was doing in San Francisco. You were proud of yourself for not giving in to your wants, and you stood your ground.

Returning to San Francisco felt bittersweet because you assumed Jungkook had already left. You didn't want to ask where he was going next for fear of sounding nosy or needy. You'll just have to guess. Maybe he was already back in SoCal.

"Knock, knock," Aunt Jo said, holding your door open. "I know we just got back, but Jin invited us to a special event at his restaurant tonight. So get your cute little butt showered and dressed up, 'kay?"

You chuckled, shaking your head. "Free food? I'm there."

Aunt Jo whistled when you walked down the stairs in your outfit. The only semi-nice thing you packed was a black slip dress. Then you threw on a black leather jacket.

"You couldn't have chosen better shoes?" Aunt Jo asked, gawking at your pair of black and white checkered Vans.

"What? I wanted to be cute and comfy," you said, pulling the strap of your bag over your head, letting it drape across your body.

When the two of you arrived at the restaurant, you expected it to be packed, but it was completely empty. You got out of the Uber and waited for your Aunt to get out of the Uber. You turned around only to see her smiling like a lunatic.

"Aren't you coming?"

Jin called your name and waved you over as he exited the restaurant. You cast a glance in his direction, curious as to what was going on with them tonight.

"It's just you, sweetheart, have fun tonight!"

"We forgot to mention it's a private event for you," Jin grinned, sending you a wink. He stepped into the Uber, and then they were off, leaving you utterly confused on the sidewalk.

A high-pitched ding from your phone went off. Opening your bag, you checked your phone to see a text from Aunt Jo.

Aunt Jo 6:22 PM

Gonna stay at Jin's tonight.

Please be responsible. Love you.

Her text was cryptic and vague, leaving you even more puzzled. You sighed as you turned to face the restaurant and walked to the door. When you first walked in, the atmosphere was quite cute and quaint. Many tables had been cleared away, leaving one in the middle of the restaurant. Someone was sitting with their back to you, and when they heard the door close, they turned to see you standing there.

"Jungkook?"

He got up from his seat and walked over to you. He was dressed in his favorite color, black. A black open button down, tucked into black joggers, black combat boots, and finished with a thick silver chain. The biggest bunny smile you'd ever seen on him adorned his pretty face.

"What are you doing here? How–how did you–"

"I might have done some digging, called around, and got ahold of your Aunt's boyfriend."

Your jaw opened and closed, amazed by how sneaky everyone was–including Aunt Jo and Jin. "So you planned all of this?"

Jungkook shrugged. "I had some help from your Aunt. She's a pretty cool person. Jin too." You couldn't stop smiling, and your cheeks were beginning to ache as a result. "Do you want something to eat? Because I'm hungry, and the food smelled delicious while I waited, "He smiled.

You nodded in response to his question. He extended his hand, and you accepted it without hesitation. When your hand found his big warm ones again, your heart raced at a million beats per minute. He escorted you to the seat across from him, pulling out the chair and pushing it in while you sat.

You felt so flustered and scatterbrained you didn't even hear when Jungkook called your name. "Hmm?"

Jungkook chuckled. "How was Seattle? Did you like it?"

"I liked it a lot. It reminded me a lot of San Francisco. Minus the gloom," you giggled. You mentally kicked yourself when you realized you had just giggled in front of Jungkook. It was too hard not to get all excited over this. So you took a deep breath to ground yourself and remember that he is just a boy–a friend–nothing more.

A server greeted both of you, handing you the menu. Everything sounded so fancy, and for half of the items, you needed clarification on what they were. Nevertheless, it was free, so you'd try anything.

After placing your orders with the server, the pair of you couldn't stop smiling at each other like young teenagers in love. It was pretty nauseating if someone were watching the two of you.

"Ahem… you're growing out your hair," you said, finally breaking the weird smiling contest between you.

Jungkook touched the hair resting on the nape of his neck. "Yeah, I thought I'd try it and never had it this long before."

"I like it."

Your compliment made him look away, a sheepish smile plastered on his face, showing off his dimple.

The rest of dinner continued. You both groaned at how delicious everything tasted. It's no surprise that people enjoyed fine dining, but you didn't enjoy the cost. But one rule Jin lived by was that he would not charge people an arm and a leg just to eat good food. He thought it was ridiculous and vowed never to do it again when he owned his own restaurant. And you thought it was very honorable.

As the last course came out, you ordered the coconut custard while Jungkook got the chocolate cake, one of each, so you could enjoy the desserts instead of picking one.

"How is it?" Jungkook asked when you took a bite.

"It's good," you swallowed, "but it might be too coco-nutty for me."

Jungkook set his fork down after taking a bite of his cake. He pushed the small plate toward you. "Here, take mine. I'll eat it if you don't like it."

"Jungkook, we're supposed to share! I can't let you do that."

"It's fine! I don't mind, honestly!" He pushed the cake further to you while taking the custard away from you. You felt he wouldn't give up, so you let him have it.

After dinner, Jungkook insisted on taking an Uber with you to make sure you got back to your Aunt's okay, and then he'd take off to his hotel for the night. As the car arrived at Aunt Jo's, Jungkook followed after, walking you to the door.

You turned to Jungkook. "Thanks for dinner. It was a lot of fun."

Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck. "I didn't do much. It's all thanks to your Aunt and Jin for helping me set everything up."

"Yeah, I know, but you put a lot of thought into it too, and I really appreciate that."

He nervously toyed with his lip ring, letting it flip back and forth. "Um, well, I guess I should say goodnight, and I'll see you when we get back to school?"

Your eyes flickered to his. "Do you want to come in? My Aunt's gone for the night."

"Are...you sure?" Jungkook stammered.

"Yeah, we can watch a movie or talk."

"Uh, okay. Let me tell the driver. Be right back."

The time was almost nine, so you opted for a nightcap. You grabbed a bottle of wine from Aunt Jo's cupboard and two glasses, setting it down on the coffee table before pouring one for you and Jungkook.

Jungkook quickly finished his glass which made you chuckle. Was he nervous? You didn't take him that type of guy.

"Why did you come to San Francisco?" you asked after taking a sip of your wine.

He chuckled. "Is it not obvious?"

You could take a stab at why he was doing this, but you needed him to say what he wanted.

"I'm shooting my shot," he said casually.

Trying to hold in a grin, you stopped it by devouring the rest of your wine glass.

Jungkook turned his full attention to you. "I couldn't stop thinking about you all summer–what you were doing if you were happy or sad, lonely. I wanted to call so many times, but I didn't know if I could. That's why I only sent texts since they were less intimidating."

"You could've called. I would've picked up."

"I know, but I didn't want to mess up being your friend 'cause I'm not good at this stuff, and I've never just been friends with a girl or even known how to date. But all I do know is you make me want to learn how to do all that stuff."

"To learn how to date or be my friend?

A beat passed before Jungkook answered, "Both, I guess? I just want to get to know you, so I wanna do whatever you wanna do. But that's if you want to..." he trailed off.

The buzz from the wine began warming up your cheeks, and the invisible walls you had up were starting to crumble. Jungkook's rosy lips looked too luscious not to want to try again. "I...really, really want to kiss you."

Jungkook gulped, unsure of what to do next. He didn't want to screw this up, but he also didn't want to pass up an opportunity to kiss you. His gaze shifted from your eyes to your cute nose, then to your lips. He lingered on your lips, trying to recall how they tasted. But it'd been far too long since he'd kissed you.

"I want to kiss you too, but I don't want you to regret it afterward."

You shook your head. "I won't." You shifted closer to Jungkook on the couch, your knee brushing up against his as you leaned in, waiting for him to do the same.

Jungkook brought his hand to cup your cheek, gazing into your eyes, wanting to confirm if this was really what you wanted. "Are you sure?"

"Positive," you said as you closed the gap and pressed your lips against his. His other hand cupped the opposite side of your face, drawing you closer to him. Your lips continued to explore each other softly and slowly as if time had stopped to allow you to discover what you had been missing.

You withdrew, only to find yourself straddling him. Jungkook's eyes widened as he realized the new position. However, he didn't mind it one bit. When his hands fell to grip your waist, urging you closer to him, your entire body buzzed. It didn't take long for Jungkook to become aroused by this heated make-out session, his cock twitching in his strained pants. You tangled your fingers in his hair, causing him to groan in your mouth while you smiled into his. Then your hand reached for the thick silver chain around his neck, gently pulling him as close as you could.

When he pulled away, you let out a quiet whimper. His lips began to trail wet kisses down your jawline, leaving soft purple bruises on your neck. His hands dragged up to your shoulders, where your dress's delicate straps lay. His fingers tinkered with them, debating whether to slide them down, so you decided for him. Your hand reached out to take the straps off, but Jungkook stopped you.

"Sorry, I'm sorry," Jungkook said breathily, nuzzling into the crook of your neck.

"No...No, you're good. I'm sorry. I got a little carried away."

Jungkook leaned against the couch, shifting himself from beneath, hoping to adjust the erection straining in his pants. "As I said, I'm fine with taking things slowly, I'm not in a hurry, and I'll wait as long as it takes if it means I get you in the end."

It took everything in you not to want to rip off your clothes and his right at this moment. But he was right because you didn't want to fuck this up, either.

"You just know the right things to say, huh?"

Jungkook laughed and nodded. He leaned forward, asking for a kiss. "It's getting late, and I still need to pack for my flight tomorrow."

You slid yourself off of him to a standing position, adjusting the strap, just begging to fall. "Let me get an Uber for you."

The following day, Aunt Jo knocked on your door, asking if you were decent enough for her to come in. She covered her eyes as the door opened. "We good in here? No cute, naked boy in your bed?"

You laughed. "No, Aunt Jo. No naked boy in here."

"Darn," she teased, handing you a cup of coffee. "I'm surprised he didn't stay over."

To be honest, it would have been far too easy for you and Jungkook to fuck without first properly establishing what you two were. Again, you tried hard not to rush into things with him, but it was difficult not to.

"He was the one who stopped it from going any further, actually," you commented.

Aunt Jo took a sip of her coffee, nodding slowly, surprised at your words. "Interesting."

"Yeah...interesting."

"Well, at least you know he's trying to do things the right way this time, so that's gotta count for something?"

She was right. You'd wanted and hoped to do this thing with Jungkook correctly. Let's not fuck it up this time.

Over the last couple weeks of summer break, you and Jungkook constantly texted, called, and video-chatted. You couldn't wait to get back on campus to see him again.

As you settled into your new apartment with Lyla, the boxes in your new room were piled high. You reached for a box on your tiptoes when you felt two hands snake around your waist and a kiss press against your shoulder. When you looked over, you saw a happy Jungkook wrapping his arms around you.

"Hi," he whispered into your ear before kissing your neck.

You mumbled a 'hi' before squirming away from his embrace, proceeding to finish your task before he rudely interrupted. Your hand reached into the box, holding onto the fairy lights you loved so much.

Jungkook sat on your bed, watching as you strung lights up on your wall. You crept on the bed, attempting to string the lights behind Jungkook, but he refused to move, so you crawled over him. When he suddenly leaned backward, pulling you on top of him, you yelped.

"Jungkook!" you cried, playfully hitting his chest, trying to break away from his hold, but he drew you back toward him for a kiss.

"One," Jungkook whispered, connecting his mouth to yours again. "Two."

"Why are you counting?"

He grinned from ear to ear. "Cause I owe you 100 kisses, remember?"

You rolled your eyes. "Forgot about that, and I paid good money for that, too," you laughed.

"Mm…I didn't," Jungkook pressed another kiss on your lips. "Three." He placed another on your jaw, causing your skin to burn hot underneath his lips. "Four."

"Jungkook," you whined, "I have so much to unpack."

"I'll help you later, but right now. I just wanna kiss you for a while."

You groaned. "Fine."

Although your and Jungkook's relationship began in an unusual manner and had its share of ups and downs. You wouldn't have made the mistake of foolishly falling for someone other than him.

#jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #jungkook college au #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts x you #fic: fool for you #college au #fake dating

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chuluoyi · 4 months ago

Note

Hi chu!!

I also agree with that nowadays people only want to read smut :')

And it's starting to get a little out of hand, because, it's literally porn addiction. Okay, I think it's a lil bit better, because you read it, not watch it, but still.

I personally like reading smut, but if I can find a fic that has plot & smut, I will always choose that and not the plain smut one.

This being said, I'm down bad for the angsty and fluffy fics. I read these more and usually enjoy it more. Doesn't mean I don't like the smutty ones, but if they would suddenly cease to exist, I wouldn't mind it much.

But the fact, that people would straight up refuse to read a fic, just because it doesn't have smut, that's ridiculous. And sad.

But we can't really do much about it, can we?

It pains me when I recommend a book online to people and the first question is:

"Does it have smut? 😏"

It was a psychological, classic litature book. I never wanted to punch someone through screen so much until that moment.

Okay, now that I yapped about it, I feel better. I don't often find people who share this point of view with me.

Subject change-

I'm really sad that artist doesn't draw anymore 😔 And wow, I have never guessed that this was that inspired baby gojo! What a small world 😅

A little reminder:

Don't forget to eat!

Don't forget to drink water!

You're beautiful!

You're enough!

You're not too much!

1 bad day ≠ bad life!

You deserve a good life!

I love you!

(I really hope I didn't make much mistakes, I'm literally just woke up from a nap and idk what's happening 😭)

Have a wonderful day!!

- ☀️

oh sun nonnie🥹 i’ve been smiling ever since i read your message, thank you so much🫶🏻

i so agree— me too :’) ofc i like smut too bc i write it and if it’s a good read then it’ll become so much more! but yeah, in the end we just have to curate our dash to our liking🙂‍↕️

!!!! yes i was so heartbroken when she said she won’t draw him anymore :’) really there’s this one drawing of gojo sleeping with the kid and that’s what incited me to write him as a boy dad🤧

and again thank you so much sun nonnie!!!!😭 omg you’re so sweet :’) thank you for spreading kindness here! and i hope you’ll have a wonderful week ahead too!!

#—chu’s mailbox 📬

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magnoliabutters · 2 years ago

Text

• CAN YOU TAKE IT ALL? •

pairing: eddie munson x steve harrington

summary: the munson-harrington friendship gets a tad bit more complicated.

warnings: 18+ content, mdni, adult language; st spoilers; ptsd-related nightmares, first kiss, fluffy fluff, smutty smutty, oral, etc.

word count: ~5.7k

support your writer: reblogs for the steddie boys 🤤

note: my dear staffi, your 1k is 1k% well deserved. i could think of nothing better than to honor @seidenbros with a steddie smut fic. this is inspired by my homie @steveshairychest post and miss staffi's thoughts, as well as the nightmares mentioned in her beautiful steddie post. this story is set in a cannon divergent universe post season 4’s events. i hope you like it! also i will say there’s a lot of back and forth so i hope it’s not too too confusing 🥹 there’s also a narrator type of feel in there, idk my adhd brain’s like mad scattered so good luck?

prompts included: (1) scars tell the story of where we’ve been, they are a part of us, and you show that to your loved one with kissing all of their scars, (2) “you taste like heaven, and I can’t get enough,” & (3) “will you stop talking, or do I have to make you shut up?”

He will never forget that red thundering sky.

The sounds crash above him. His instinct is to look up, but he keeps his eyes focused as the demobats spiral around him. His grip tightens onto his shield. He knows he is going to die. He knew that when he decided against going through the portal in his living room. When he walked away from Dustin’s screaming pleas. He wanted to be a coward no more. He would need to die to ensure the party’s safety - his safety. He is fine with this. He honestly could not think of a better way to go. He just prays it will be quick.

He watches as the bats seem to alter their flying at the sound of each clap of thunder. His mind begins reeling. What can he do to use this information against them? He feels the fear bubble up through his chest. He yells out to give himself the bravery he desperately clings onto. He thrusts his spear into the tornado of bats just to be met with their attack. He holds as much as he can back with his shield but they overwhelm him. He falls.

Once recognizing the floor pressed against his back, he knew it was time. It was his time. He uses the shield to cover as much of his body as possible. He feels hot strikes of pain through his shins and thighs. He cannot help but scream as he grips tighter onto his shield’s handle. They are killing him and it is not quick. He feels every single bite. Each bite plays on repeat in his head.

One wraps it’s tail around his throat. He cannot breathe. He quickly digs his nails against his own skin, struggling to put distance between his neck and the tail. Panic hits him like a train. His entire body is in this confusing mixed state of stillness and desperation. He is moving in slow motion, perpetually stuck in death.

Steve wakes to a thumping sound. His eyes open widely. His body is startled, but swiftly ready for action. Was it happening again? Was Vecna coming? Or was it the demodogs this time? Did they come back? He raises from his bed and continues to listen. He keeps his eyes on his closet, knowing he has a shotgun waiting for him. A gun he purchased back when he found out the truth about Barbara - how close death was. How was he never meant to feel safe in his home again.

He hears a voice. Eddie’s voice. The mental grog from waking up blurs his mind, but Eddie’s voice pulls him through. He remembers that he invited Eddie to stay with him while they both heal and particularly while he is technically still on the lam. As much as his voice calms him, an interesting reaction he notes, it sounds a bit troubled now. He quietly stands from the bed and walks towards his parents’ room - where Eddie was sleeping.

Steve feels worry as he tip-toes down the hallway. He does not want to scare Eddie, but something is wrong. The altruistic side of him would never be able to ignore that, let alone fall back asleep. He hears mumbling again and suddenly a scream. He bursts in the through the door, quickly scanning the room for any threats. He stands above Eddie who wriggles in his sheets. His brows pressing in and out as he mumbles in his sleep.

Part of Steve is clearly concerned. The other part could not help noticing the sleeping beauty below him. His lips supple. His hair thick and incredible. His shirt cut at the shoulders. His biceps on full display. From far, Munson looks scrawny but from where Steve stands, the boy has muscle. Quickly, he pushes those thoughts from his head. His face scrunches as he struggles to ignore the light hearted feeling of letting in that type of thinking.

Steve has only felt this way towards two people in his life, despite the trail of people he has left behind in his high school career. The feeling of his heart being drawn out of his chest. He felt it with Nancy. He feels it again with Eddie. It caught him off guard. Nothing prepares you for a sudden longing of a guy, especially when you pride yourself as a ladies’ man.

Steve felt a brief attraction to Billy Hargrove when he so aggressively beat him in basketball. It definitely had nothing to do with his personality - how could it? But how he pushed against him, with that sweat-filled bare chest. There was a moment where anger and annoyance subsided, and Steve did not mind being pushed around by Hargrove’s strength. Of course, this thought was pushed down deeper than the pits of hell. Especially after he heard what Billy had done to Max and Lucas.

Once Dustin began high school, Eddie became a prominent person in Steve’s life - whether he liked it or not. Dustin loved this guy, compared this guy to Steve. Anger and jealousy fueled his mind anytime “Eddie Munson” was discussed. Yet, when he finally met the man, he felt a spark. Eddie jumped out of nowhere and pressed Steve against the shack’s wall, hard. A hand on his collarbone and a broken bottle dangerously close to his juggler.

Steve initially thought the spark was the fear and adrenaline pushing through his body. He rose his hands to show he wasn’t a threat. Once Dustin started talking, Eddie began to let his guard down, placing space between them. It gave Steve the opportunity to look into those gentle chocolate eyes and see the genuine sincerity and beauty within them. He knew in that moment that every incredible thing Dustin said about Eddie was true. He had to know more. The spark, he now recognizes, turned into a red hot flush to his cheeks…

As another disturbed mumble falls from Eddie’s lips, Steve is pulled from his thoughts and lightly pats Eddie’s shoulder. “Eddie,” he whispers. “Eddie, it’s just a dream.” He continues to mumble, his movements more jagged. “Eddie,” he says louder. He shakes his shoulder and sits on the edge of the bed. He begins to stress, wanting to remove him from this scary state. He shakes a bit harder.

Eddie’s eyes shoot open. His breathing heavies as he grips onto Steve’s shoulder. “Eddie, it’s okay. It’s okay,” Steve soothes. “Where’s Dustin?” he mumbles on as his brows pull together. Eddie struggles to grip onto reality, but he recognizes the mattress and sheets below him. He realizes it is not the upside down’s floor plastered against his back. He pulls his eyes towards Steve’s. “Steve?” he asks out of breath and still panicked.

“Hey, yeah. I think you had a bad dream,” Steve answers as he places his hand upon Eddie’s chest. “You’re safe.” Eddie watches with confused eyes. He feels comfort from Steve’s warmth but still lost in bouncing thoughts between what is real and what is not. His eyes travel towards Steve’s hairy chest and green pajama pants hanging by a draw string. He immediately pulls away and places all his energy on not staring. Steve’s eyes are focused upon his hand. He’s both shocked and overjoyed with his hand’s placement. Ambiguous thoughts flood his mind.

Where Steve has hidden his attraction, even from himself, Eddie has always been straight forward with those he’s closest to. At first, Eddie was not the biggest fan of Steve. He even told him so. Dustin spoke of him at length. Each conversation that surrounded Harrington just reminded him of every conversation he had in school. Everyone spoke of him and his gorgeous hair.

Yet, when Eddie finally had the opportunity to interact with Steve, all that changed. Through the danger, gore, and fear within the weeks filled of Vecna, Eddie felt a burning inside of him. He recognized immediately that Steve was someone special and that he wanted more. He had no care in the world and openly flirted with him any chance he got. He particularly enjoyed the confused looks of the members of his party. Not to mention a shirtless Steve wearing his denim vest? Eddie was done for. So when all that shit was finally done and Steve asked if he wanted to stay at his house, Eddie did not hesitate.

“Thanks,” Eddie says with a shaken tone as he lifts himself from the bed, resting back on his palms. Steve lightly pulls away as his focus has shifted back to concern. He remembers the last time he saw Eddie like this. It was a horrifying sight. He walked up on Dustin cradling Eddie in the darkness of the upside down. Henderson’s tears falling upon Eddie’s lifeless face as blood pooled at the edge of his mouth. They thought he was going to die. But Steve was going to work his damned hardest to make sure that didn’t happen - especially not in front of Dustin.

As gently as he could, Steve flung Eddie over his shoulder and ran into the trailer. He heard a grumble and a wince. Both sounds that burst energy through his body. He was alive. He and Dustin worked together to hoist Eddie through the portal. Nancy and Robin were shortly behind. They both quickly jumped into the roles of doctor as they treated his wounds with bandages and disinfectant. Steve can still hear his screams when they dowsed his injuries with alcohol. Steve wanted nothing more than to run to him in that moment. To comfort him - hold him. Instead, he watched from the corner of the room, gripping tightly onto his chin as he bit his trembling lip.

Eddie’s eyes flick towards Steve. He observes the shift in his face’s expression. His first instinct is to raise his hand to his face, pull him back from whatever thoughts clouded him. He strongly stops the urge, clearing his throat. “Steve,” he says softly. Quickly Steve’s eyes look back into his. “Sorry,” he laughs and pushes his hand through his hair. “It’s okay,” Eddie says softly. “Get lost in your thoughts?” Eddie asks. Steve turns to look at him with a smile. “Something like that,” he replies innocently. “Yeah, that happens to me too,” Eddie nods as he looks down at his hands on his lap.

Steve took that moment to realize that he may have overstayed his welcome. He stands and gestures a goodbye. “Well, I’ll let you get back to bed,” he says as he turns towards the door. Panic rushes through Eddie. He isn’t ready for Steve to leave. “Wait,” he says loudly. “You can stay if you want,” he coyly murmurs.

Steve reaches the door handle and turns back to Eddie. “Are you sure?” he asks. “I’m sure, Harrington,” Eddie reassures with a smile. The devilish smile that Steve has been waiting for. It quickly eases his worry and melts his heart, all at the same time. Most of all, it pulls a big grin upon his face. Eddie has the best smile, whether you would like to admit it or not. And Steve will admit it.

With a failed attempt to not be awkward, Steve sits at the foot of the bed. He rests only a few inches away from Eddie's feet. Eddie stifles a laugh as he watches. "You can sit up here," he chuckles as he pats the bed beside him. Steve laughs at himself. "I wasn't sure what would be weirder," he mutters under his breath. "Hm, I think the sitting at the edge of the bed is weirder," Eddie says with a bit of flare.

Steve shrugs, amused, as he stands and walks over to the other side. Surprisingly, he lays back onto the pillow comfortably and without hesitation. His feet cross in front of him. He intertwines his fingers as they rest upon his stomach. Without looking at him, he gently asks, "Did you wanna talk about it?" Eddie turns towards him and smiles as Steve's eyes remain down. "It's nothing too bad," Eddie tries to downplay. "Just some nightmares after everything that went down."

That was enough to pull Steve's eyes towards Eddie's face. Eddie watched as his sweet honey hazel irises peer into his soul. They were so full of anguish and worry. "But it's okay. It's not that bad, remember?" he tries to reassure. Steve's brows continue to furrow as he watches in sadness. There is a certain twinkle to his eye that Eddie doesn't recognize.

Steve pulls his eyes from Eddie once more. "When I first got dragged into all this, I had nightmares every night for at least 2 months straight," Steve says solemnly. Eddie listens intently, now his turn to worry. "I had a few months of life going back to normal, which - I knew wouldn't last. But then the demodogs showed up-" he shares. "Demodogs?" Eddie asks. His mind immediately screams at him for interrupting. Steve turns back towards him with a small smile. "Yeah, they're like smaller versions of Demogorgens," he answers. "You know about Demogorgens?" Eddie scoffs. "It's what the kids call it - I don't know," he laughs. "Just talk to Henderson. He'll give you the whole run down."

Eddie smiles as his eyes fall upon Steve's. "I'm sorry I interrupted," he murmurs. "What were you saying?" Steve could swear his heart stopped beating for a second. Those sweet eyes give him all the pleasure and all the comfort he could ever want. "After Vecna, the nightmares came back for good. I haven't had a good night sleep since," he weakly laughs. "I wake up to the slightest of sounds and if I manage to get to sleep, I dream about those bats choking the life out of me." Eddie's heart races as he hears Steve's account. He almost forgot that Steve was attacked by the bats too. That he shares the same wounds - physically and mentally.

"I've been dreaming about them too," Eddie sighs as he plays with the blankets. With a deep breath, he plasters a brave smile on his face. "I'm just happy I made it out alive." He places a hesitant hand upon Steve's. "Thanks to you," he whispers under his breath. Steve could not help but blush. He pulls his eyes from Eddie's touch, as if not to bring attention to it. "You would've done it for me," Steve says. Eddie laughs, "I'm not sure I would've been able to do that." Steve joins him in a nervous chuckle. "What do you mean? You wouldn't have come back for me?"

Eddie pats his hand on Steve before holding it against his own laughing abdomen. "I don't think I'd be able to carry you, dude," he tries to say through bursts of laughter. Steve chuckles as he pulls his head back onto the headboard. He smirks and playfully punches Eddie's bicep. "You wouldn't be able to carry me with these muscles?" he scoffs with an eyebrow raised. Eddie smiles at his touch, but quickly wiggles it away. "Maybe I could," Eddie mumbles under his breath with a shrug. Steve grins as he looks back at those gorgeous eyes of his.

"I would have never left you there. No matter what," Steve murmurs with a shake of his head. Eddie pulls the side of his mouth and nods. "I would do the same for you," he whispers. Steve recognizes the sincerity in Eddie's eyes. Eddie enjoys the warmth in Steve's smile. They sit there for a few seconds, which feels like hours. But for the two of them, hours are not enough.

Steve's heart races. He can feel his pulse in his ears. Nerves rush through his extremities. Happiness fills his chest. Eddie feels a pit in his stomach. His muscles tighten as he struggles to remain calm. He is caught off guard by this reaction. He usually only feels this when he's nervous before a show. Luckily for him, the usual adrenaline that follows shortly rides throughout his body. Without a second thought, Eddie slowly leans closer towards Steve. His eyes focus on his supple lips, hoping that this isn't a mistake. Before Steve could even think, he places his hands on Eddie's cheeks and pulls him into a kiss.

Now, this is not your typical first kiss. There is no sweet peck and pulling away to look into each other’s eyes. No. There is a huge fire burning deep within Steve and Eddie. It’s been building for months. And it finally has a way out.

Steve’s hand travels towards Eddie’s ear. He intertwines his fingers within his brunette curls. Eddie bites into the kiss. His neck extended as his body slowly follows. He notes that Steve’s lips are supple and sweet - sweeter than expected. His ringed hand feels cool against Steve’s cheek. The painful longing they both felt now turned into an aggressive match of love.

Eddie’s fingers grasp harshly against Steve’s skin. Steve’s body scoots closer to his, eventually toppling over him. The ends of his soft hair tickling Eddie’s face. The two struggle to gasp for breaths as they crash their tongues against each other. Eddie spreads his legs as Steve leans between them. Steve’s hand rests upon his waist as Eddie ruts his hips up. Steve could feel that bulge against his crotch. He wants nothing more than to…

Steve pulls away with a gasping breath. His eyes dragged from Eddie’s as he slowly begins to lean up from the embrace. Eddie rests frozen in place, completely confused. “I’m sorry,” Steve mutters as he wipes his lips with the back of his hand. He crashes back onto his side of the bed. His head leaning onto the headboard as he tracks his hands down his face. “It’s alright,” Eddie says as he watches Steve out of his peripherals.

“I haven’t done anything like this before,” Steve says as he places his hands on his legs out in front of him. His body language screaming “uncomfortable.” “We don’t have to do anything-” Eddie starts. “But I want to, Eddie, that’s the thing,” Steve says with distress, finally turning to look at the chocolate eyed boy. Eddie sighs as the sides of his mouth curl into a smile.

Steve puts his hands to his own face. “Have you done this before?” he asks, peering out curiously from behind his fingers. Eddie softly laughs at the sight. “Yeah, once or twice,” he murmurs. “Oh god,” Steve says as he drags his hands down his face. “Harrington, it’s okay,” Eddie soothes. “Let’s just take this slow.” Steve sighs in relief as he shakes his head. “I can do slow,” he whispers. “Yeah,” Eddie says as he places a hand to his shoulder. “That way we’ll have a better story to tell our grandkids.”

Steve’s head shoots up, “Hey! That’s not slow!” Eddie bursts into laughter. To the point where his knees are at his chest. His hand at his stomach. Steve can’t help but chuckle alongside him. “I’m kidding, Harrington,” he manages to mumble between laughs. “You are too easy.” Steve smiles as he rolls his eyes.

“Eddie?” Steve asks with a softened tone. Eddie smiles as he directs his attention torwards the god of beauty in front of him. “Do you mind if I sleep here, with you, tonight?” he asks. A tightness balls in his chest. Eddie can’t help but smile larger at his request. “Yes,” he says. Steve immediately beams. “But only if I get one more kiss,” he adds.

Steve bites his lip as he leans in towards Eddie. They both close their eyes as their lips meet in a gentler embrace. Steve pulls back and whispers onto Eddie’s lips. “Good night, Munson.” He turns over and gets under the blankets. The two begin their sleep with their backs to each other. Only to wake up to Eddie resting his head upon Steve’s chest, and Steve’s arm caressing Eddie’s back - pulling him closer.

Not much has changed for the Harrington-Munson friendship. One month later and a handful of heavy make out sessions to show for it. The biggest change was that neither of them slept alone anymore. Since that first night, they have slept in the same bed. They have slept better than they ever have. They both had no intention of sleeping without each other again.

After a long night of Eddie trying to teach Steve how to play dungeons and dragons, Steve finally was able to suggest saying goodbye to the group. “I’m not at all surprised that you chose a Paladin,” Dustin says with a sheepish laugh as he packs up the dnd game. Eddie smirks from across the table. “Yeah, I still have no idea what that means,” Steve says as he grabs another chip from the designated snack bowl.

“I would’ve thought he’d been a Cleric,” Will shares with a shrug of his shoulders. “Big boy’s got the energy for both. Don’tcha, Harrington?” Eddie says with a tilt of his head. Steve watches his taunting smile with hunger in his eyes. “Still got nothing,” Steve says with his hands thrown up. “We’ll be back next week,” Mike says as he waves for Lucas to stand up. They clearly have somewhere to be.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Steve says as the boys rush to the front door. “Next week?” His face full of confusion. His face squished together in worry. “I thought this was a one time thing?” Eddie smiles, biting on one of his rings, as he softly laughs. He adores the man. “Yeah, we made our characters and next week we play,” Lucas says dumbfounded. “What did you think we were doing here, Steve?” Dustin asks with a chuckle. “I thought we were just making characters. Isn’t that what you guys do?” Steve asks, pushing a hand through his hair and raising his other hand. “Yeah, and then we bring our characters into battle,” Will says sarcastically as he shares an annoyed glance with Mike.

“Okay, okay. Whatever next week,” Steve says, shooing the gang away. Eddie immediately stands and begins to clap his hands. “Let’s go boys,” he yells. “We were just leaving-” Mike whines. “Up-up-up,” Eddie interrupts. Steve smiles as he watches him from the side of his eye. “That doesn’t sound like leaving, Wheeler.” Will laughs and quickly grabs his die. “Quick feet, Beyers. Let’s go!” Eddie claps closely at Will’s back, enough to make him hop and skip to the door.

With confused faces and devilish laughter, Eddie got the boys out without much of a hassle. He closes the Harrington’s front door and flicks the lock. He turns with his arms held high and bows before Steve. Steve watches amused but with teetering brows. "You're welcome," he says with that demon smile. "Thank you," Steve scoffs as he crosses his arms against his chest. Eddie walks over to the couch and flings back with dramatic intent. “Alright, Harrington. Come ravish me,” he says with a deep breath and closing his eyes. Steve laughs as he walks to the other end of the couch. He picks up Eddie’s crossed legs and places them onto his lap as he sits upon the cushion.

“Or … I could ravish you,” Eddie says as he raises his torso closer to Steve’s. His hand is placed against Steve’s chin, pulling his eyes towards him. “Ravish me?” Steve laughs. Eddie leans in with a bit lip. Steve’s lips meet him half way for a short, simple kiss. He pulls back with a sweet grin. “We wouldn’t be doing anything you haven’t done before, Harrington,” Eddie says as his finger travels down his chin to his adam’s apple and to his collarbone. Steve’s eyes light up. “This has all been pretty new, Munson,” he scoffs.

“Oh what, you think because it’s two guys it’s different?” Eddie says with a smirk as his finger tracks down his chest. “It’s still just two people who enjoy each other’s company and making each other feel good.” Steve chuckles as his finger twirls a curl in Eddie’s brunette locks. “That’s one way to simplify it,” he says under his breath.

Eddie plays with Steve’s happy trail and finally hooks his finger beneath his waistline. Steve’s eyes are pulled quickly towards him. The two have spoken of moving forward before but no one has initiated, until now. Nerves send shock waves out to Steve’s body. His touch hesitant and thought out. Eddie smiles as he crawls onto the living room floor and plants himself between Steve’s legs.

Steve watches as Eddie looks up at him with those “fuck me” eyes. God, did Steve want to but he is so nervous. He is more nervous now than his first time with Lacy Pickett. Eddie slowly spreads his legs as his hands smooth out the denim of his inner thighs’ jeans. Sharp breaths leave Steve’s nostrils as his chest tightens and he feels the blood leave his head.

“You can always tell me to stop, Steve,” Eddie says as he licks his bottom lip. “I promise it will be okay. We can try again another day.” He squeezes his hands against his inner thigh, massaging as he playfully taunts his groin. “I-I don’t want to wait another day,” Steve mutters softly. He could feel how hard he was for Eddie. He would not be able to leave without releasing some form of pressure. Eddie blushes as he bites his lip. “We’ll go slow,” he says with a nod.

Steve returns the nod as he reaches for his shirt, pulling it off rapidly. He then gently reaches for Eddie’s, but is met with hesitation. “Oh, I’m sorry,” he says as his worried eyes make another appearance. Eddie takes a deep breath as he sits back onto his knees. “I just-,” he laughs, trying to brush off his feelings. “I just haven’t gotten used to the scars yet.” Steve slightly smiles as he completely understands.

“I love your scars,” Steve says as he holds Eddie’s hand. Eddie scoffs as he keeps his eyes down. “They show how strong you are. How much you’ve been through. They are a part of you now,” he murmurs. “They’re disgusting,” Eddie adds with a sheepish smile. Steve shakes his head. “Not to me. To me, they scream bravery and strength. You saved us, you saved me. I love them, Eddie,” he says with all sincerity.

Eddie’s eyes finally make their way back to his. Steve slowly raises Eddie’s shirt, watching him for any sign of discomfort. Bites rest on the sides of his torso. One broke through his spider tattoo. Steve joins Eddie on the ground. He places a kiss onto each scar softly. Eddie jumps at ticklish spots, making them both laugh. “I love them,” he says as he places a kiss on Eddie’s lips. “I love yours,” Eddie adds.

Steve smirks. “So what the hell is a Paladin?” he asks. Eddie quickly shakes his finger no as he returns back on his knees. “No seriously. Can we go over that part again because-” “Will you stop talking, or do I have to make you shut up?” Eddie asks with a daring look. Steve scoffs as a grin sprawls across his face. “You might need to make me,” he jokes. Eddie smirks. “Shut up, and get your ass back on the couch,” he instructs with his finger pointed. Steve laughs with his hands up. He stands and follows Eddie’s demands. “Yes, sir,” he mutters. He sits with his legs spread and a growing mass at his groin. He leans back into the couch in excitement.

Eddie carefully unbuckles Steve’s belt. He lightly pulls it around his waist. Their eyes remain on each other. He then unbuttons his jeans and pulls them down. Steve lifts himself up so that his pants could pile at his ankles. Eddie glances at the thickly lined cock hidden under Steve’s boxers. Eddie could feel himself hardening at the thought of it. His tongue presses against the roof of his mouth as excitement hits him like a wave.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this,” Eddie mutters under his breath as he tugs onto his boxers. Steve quickly leans forward to place a sweet hand to Eddie’s cheek. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since we met in that shack,” he says with all sincerity. Eddie is speechless, completely frozen in shock. Not once did he imagine Steve returning the level of attraction and affection that Eddie had for him.

Without any more words being said, the two knew in that moment that they are not just a fling. They are not a curious experiment. They are not a frivolous mistake. There is something real between them. Something special, something they have never had before.

Eddie’s smile grows as he pulls down Steve’s waist line. Steve’s hand now behind his curled locks as his eyes remain on Eddie’s. A small gasp escapes Eddie’s mouth as he catches a full glance at the thick, girthy cock in front of him. The blood rushes quickly down to his groin, but he tries his best to stay on task.

Eddie lightly wraps his hand around its staff as Steve lets out shaky breaths. Eddie slowly makes his way up and rubs his thumb against the bead of pre-cum falling from its slit. He uses it as lube as he begins to strengthen his grasp. His eyes flick up towards Steve, just to see Steve struggling to maintain his slow breaths.

As he quickens his strokes, Eddie’s tongue dances against the back of his front teeth. He struggles to keep it in. Steve’s eyes begin to close as he rests his head back. Eddie can feel Steve's hips grinding against his forearms. He could feel the slight thrusts into his grasp. Eddie’s other hand lays flat and tight against Steve’s upper thigh.

Steve lets out slow, low-toned moans as he wriggles under Eddie. “Oh fuck,” he mumbles under his breath. His grip behind Eddie’s head becomes tighter. “Steve,” Eddie says, breaking Steve’s concentration. “Hold my hair up,” he demands. Steve quickly raises to gather as much of his thick hair as he could.

Eddie lowers his mouth onto the tip of his cock. Steve’s mouth opens widely and quickly shuts with a bit lip at the sight and sensation. Eddie’s tongue wraps around the head as his grasp tightens at its bottom. He lets out a sweet moan as he takes another inch in. Steve’s grasp of Eddie's hair tightens even harder as he watches Eddie take more of him in. “Shit, shit,” he whines as he begins to slowly thrust into his sweet mouth.

“Eddie, fuck,” Steve moans as his hips wiggle. Eddie takes in more as he squeezes Steve’s thigh. He grinds his own cock against the couch’s side. Eddie loves feeling Steve's thick cock in his mouth. It’s grooves and veins excite him, making him salivate. He rubs against it as it lightly rides down the center of his tongue. “C-can you take it all?” Steve softly blurts out, struggling to keep his breath. Eddie smiles at the request and takes in a deep breath from his nostrils. He takes as much as he can, with Steve’s hand guiding him down.

Steve releases a moan that Eddie will remember for the rest of his life. It was sweet, yet dominant. He loves it. He wants to hear it again and again. He lifts off Steve’s cock with drool seeping from the side of his mouth. Steve is still breathing heavily, now with a hand in his hair. Eddie goes back in taking a little bit more. “Shit, Eddie. Oh my god,” he says as he thrusts further into his mouth. Eddie lightly gags but fights to stay enthralled with Steve. He could feel his curls at the tip of his nose.

With a gentle movement, Eddie begins to play with Steve’s balls. Steve quickly and instinctually pulls back as to not overstimulate himself. Eddie begins to circle his tongue around his head once again. His thumb plays with the thick vein underneath his shaft.

Steve feels a familiar pit in his stomach. Without thinking, he begins to thrust into Eddie’s mouth lightly. Eddie encourages him by quickening his movements and licks. Steve thrusts quicker, harder into Eddie’s throat. His mind reeling as he feels his muscles tighten. “Oh fuck, Eddie. Oh god,” he moans breathlessly. Eddie can’t help but smile at the beautiful sounds. He knows he must be close.

The pit in Steve's stomach is growing in size. His toes tighten and straighten out. He feels tingles at the top of his head. “I’m cumming, Eddie. I-I’m cumming,” he yells. Eddie begins to feel the shots of salt within his mouth. The taste that brings an incredible rush of happiness through his body. Steve’s muscles tense and relax as he thrusts into Eddie’s mouth. He releases more than he would have expected.

With a final groan, Steve goes limp. His chest heaving. Sweat building at his collarbones. Eddie swallows and wipes off the drool from his chin. He slowly rises with a smile and sits next to Steve with his arm resting behind his head. “That was different,” Steve murmurs with his eyes slightly opening. Eddie’s brow peaks in curiosity. “It was better,” he adds with a light laugh. Eddie rolls his eyes and playfully bumps against his shoulder.

“Come here and kiss me,” Steve says, barely able to move. “Let me brush my teeth first,” Eddie answers with a smile as he attempts to stand. Steve quickly grabs his pants to pull him back down. “No, kiss me,” he whispers. Eddie’s smile pulls to its side. He gently pushes back strands of hair from Steve’s sweaty face. He places a soft kiss upon his lips. “You taste like heaven, and I can’t get enough,” Steve whispers between kisses. Eddie smiles until his cheeks hurt.

note: i think my perspective has slowly shifted to eddie the pansexual god and steve the bisexual hoe. and i love that. please let me know what you think! shall there be more? who knows. i hope you like it staffi! check her out @seidenbros (you won't regret it)

✨don’t forget to reblog and/or comment lovelies!✨

• nav • no-no plagiarism • one shot • requests open •

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strangerquinns · 3 years ago

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idk if you are taking requests, but I saw you post something about how all you have is smut requests in your inbox but you weren’t feeling particularly ~smutty~… would you consider writing something cute and fluffy? Maybe Dylan takes care of the reader when she’s on her period, or Mitch shows his soft side when his girlfriend brings home a stray kitty? Both sort of cliche, I know. Not sure if either of these tickle your fancy, but you’re a great writer! Write what you want/what you feel and I’ll happily read it. Hope you’re having a good day ❤️ (also, for the record, I absolutely do not find your smut to be repetitive, but I understand it can feel that way when you’re writing it, I struggle with that as well; there’s only so many positions, only so many euphemisms for dick, thrust, etc lol)

Dylan O'Brien x Female!Reader

It's that time of the month and Dylan does everything to help

short and sweet concept

you're so sweet, anon, thank you so so much!! sometimes as the writer, we get into our heads - but it feels good to hear from someone else about stuff. This was deeply appreciated

The moment you woke up, you felt the painful cramps that seemed to wrap around your middle. You slowly pulled your knees towards your chest to try and add some relief, but it only made the pain a dull ache. A small cry of pain left your lips before you sat up to get out of bed. From behind you, Dylan slept soundly and you didn't wanna wake him up.

After going to the bathroom to take care of yourself, you slowly waddled down the hall towards the kitchen to start on some tea. The first day of your period was always a bad one and hit you hard. All you wanted was to sit on the couch and watch some tv, praying the pain killers to kick in soon.

But the moment you left out of bed, it wasn't long till Dylan slowly woke up. He was never really able to sleep when you weren't beside him. His brows pulled together in confusion when he saw that your side of the bed was empty, before getting up himself.

When he walked out into the main part of the house, Dylan saw you standing in the kitchen slowly stirring whatever was in your mug. The soft pad of his feet drew your attention up towards him. Dylan smiled softly towards you, rubbing his eyes slightly and hair disheveled from sleep before he bent down to kiss you.

"What's got you up so early?" He asked, voice still deep and rough from sleep.

"Mother Nature came this morning," You sighed, wincing slightly as another cramp moved through you.

Dylan frowned and grabbed your tea from the counter with one hand and lacing his fingers with the other. He knew how hard your period hit you. He watched over the years the two of you dating and felt bad every time. So, Dylan made it his mission every month that he made you as comfortable as possible.

Dylan led you back towards the bedroom and gently helped you back in, before setting your mug on the bedside table.

"You lay back down and relax and I'll make you some breakfast. While you eat, I'll run to the store and make sure to get some more pain killers, tampons, and a couple Reese's for you."

"How'd you know I was low on tampons?" You asked, looking up towards him in amazement.

"I make sure to keep notice when I know your period should be coming soon. Don't want you to go in one day and they are gone," He spoke nonchalantly. "Want Tony to come and cuddle with you while I cook?"

A small smile tugged at the corner of your lips as you nodded your head. Dylan bent down and kissed your forehead before walking out of the bedroom, only a moment later coming back with Tony in his arms.

"Keep mama company, little man." He spoke before setting the small dog on the bed.

Tony quickly rushed to your side the moment he was on the bed, curling up next to you as you began to pet him.

"Also thought maybe you'd need this." Dylan reached into the closet beside the bathroom and pulled out the heating pad.

You watched with wide eyes as he bent down and plugged it in, before laying it across your waist.

But before he could walk away, you grabbed his hand and pulled him back towards you. You reached up and caressed his face before pulling him into a deep kiss. Dylan moaned for a moment before relaxing into you and deepening it a little more.

"I love you," You spoke as he slowly pulled away. "And thank you,"

"You're welcome, baby." He kissed you again. "Always gonna take care of you."

#dylan o'brien x reader #dylan o'brien x female reader #dylan o'brien concept #dylan o'brien blurb #dylan obrien x reader #dylan obrien x female reader

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pinkandblueblurbs · 4 years ago

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Ahh okay so it’s an Anthony request! If you hate the idea or are uninspired, please delete/ignore, i’ll totally understand😅

So something along the lines of the reader being pregnant (if you write about things like that) and perhaps Anthony is busy doing something for the day so some of the other Bridgertons spend the day with their sister in law? They’re sitting in the garden and the reader falls (a completely harmless fall to both her and the baby but maybe she scrapes her arm or something?) and she persuades the others not to call on Anthony as she’s perfectly fine and he’d only worry. Then when Anthony gets home, one of his siblings greet him and tell him what happened and he freaks out and demands to know why they didn’t call on him and then scolds the reader for it? Slight angst but mainly fluffy? Idk if it could end smutty but I’m all for smut so whatever you think🥰

That was a big jumble of thoughts so if that didn’t make sense/the idea was rubbish, please ignore😂I’ll read anything you post regardless!

THIS IS SO CUTE I LOVE THIS SM!! Thank you for requesting baby!!

Anthony Bridgerton x fem!Reader. Pregnancy, minor injury, minor blood, minor angst, worry, protectiveness

word count: 1.8k

It’s late in the morning on a temperate spring day as you sit outside in the gardens with your in-laws, the elder of you chatting idly and occasionally laughing boisterously in conversation as the younger occupy themselves more busily, running about the garden.

“Hyacinth, Gregory!” Benedict’s raised call pulls you out of your discussion with Daphne. “Do not wander so far, Mother shall have my head should I fail to keep an eye on you!” The words are followed by a heaved sigh as the children disappear into the lush greenery of the gardens. “Hyacinth-“

“Oh good heavens, I shall simply go fetch them” you cut off the man with lighthearted exasperation at his perceived refusal to go after the children himself, rising to your feet with some difficulty thanks to the swell of your stomach. Benedict looks at you ruefully.

“You needn’t do that, allow Colin to-“

“Nonsense, I am already on my feet.” You dismiss Benedict’s offer with a wave of your hand, already making way in the direction the children had run off.

You stroll through the garden, following the sounds of giggles and eager footsteps into its center. You speed up slightly as you grow near in the hopes of catching up with the children before they run off once again.

“Hyacinth-“ you call out, trying to halt the girl, but the exclamation is cut off by a gasp as you feel something catch your foot. Suddenly the ground is coming at you far too fast for you to regain your balance, and you let out a yelp- both of pain and surprise- as you collide with it.

Fortunately you manage to catch yourself on your arms, sparing you and your child-bearing belly of any true harm, but the gravel on the ground scrapes the tender skin of your forearms painfully. You whimper softly as you move to your knees, lifting your arms to view the damage.

“Benedict!” Hyacinth’s shrill voice yells, the girl standing feet away now and staring at your kneeling form. “Help!”

“Oh Hyacinth, hush, I’m perfectly alright!” You say incredulously, though stubborn tears swell in your eyes, minimizing the merit of your words.

In an instant Benedict is rushing to the scene, Colin right on his heels. He reaches you quickly, crouching down and placing a comforting hand on your back.

“My, what happened? Are you hurt?” Benedict inquires, concern etched in the baritone of his voice.

“I’m fine, truly.” You try to assure, though your voice wavers unconvincingly. Crimson droplets form on the expanse of your forearms beside the pebbles imbedded in them.

“Oh dear, don’t cry. Come on, let me get you patched up. Colin, fetch Anthony from the market-“

“No, don’t bother him, that isn’t necessary.” You cut in as Benedict helps you up with a stable support on your back and elbow.

“Y/n, he’d want to be made aware-“

“I’m truly alright, please don’t call on Anthony. He’ll only worry unnecessarily.” You argue, allowing the male to raise your arms by your wrists to inspect your torn up skin.

“....so long as you’re sure you’ve suffered no real harm, I suppose we may leave Anthony out of it.” Benedict concedes, deeming your visible injuries insubstantial enough to neglect telling your husband.

“Of course I’m sure. I merely scraped my arms, nothing more.” The words are followed by a sniffle as your arms still sting unpleasantly.

“Very well. In that case we’ll go get you fixed up, you’ll feel better in no time.”

Benedict leads you carefully into the house, easily taking on the role of elder brother as he tenderly supports your shaken form. Daphne comes to join your somber parade as you pass her, worry evident on her face as she anxiously wonders as to what happened. You, of course, assure her that your fall was inconsequential and any injuries sustained are minor.

Once inside Benedict seats you at the table and gently swipes his thumbs over your cheeks, clearing them of the salty tracks left by the subtle tears you’d shed on the journey.

“Let me go fetch some bandages, Y/n.” He murmurs, offering you a reassuring smile. “I’ll be back in no time.” He turns to leave then, and Eloise passes him in the doorway as she enters the room in his place. Her face contorts in humor immediately in seeing you.

“What happened to you?” She asks, sounding less than concerned. You roll your eyes, though an amused smile of your own forms on your lips

“I fell. In the gardens.” You explain, waiting for the snarky comment sure to come. Eloise does not disappoint.

“Ah, you never were known for your elegance or grace.” She teases, pulling a short laugh from you.

“Eloise!” Daphne gasps, appalled by her sister’s reaction. “How unkind- she could have been hurt! Are you forgetting she’s with child?” To your slight surprise, Eloise’s features do fall somewhat at this reminder.

“It’s no matter, Daph, truly.” You say, keeping your tone lighthearted. “I’m perfectly well. And Eloise is right- I’m nothing if not a klutz.” You add the last part with a sideways grin to Eloise, who returns it as she informally flops on the nearby sofa.

“I’m more inclined to use the word oaf.” Eloise muses, putting on a pensive tone. You laugh outright as Daphne shakes her head in what she intends to be disappointment, though a smile pulls at her lips.

“How very becoming of you, Eloise.” Daphne teases.

“Why mask honesty with needless courtesy, sister?”

You smile at the back and forth, their banter successfully distracting you from the dull pulse of your afflicted arms.

“You seem to mistake common decency for needless courtesy-“

“You seem to wrongly assume that Eloise has any interest in common decency.” Benedict cuts off Daphne’s comment as he enters the room, shooting Eloise a jocular grin.

“Of course, my mistake.” Daphne’s words are coupled by a roll of her eyes as Benedict approaches you, bandages in hand.

You hold out your arms to the man, allowing him to gently brush any remaining gravel from your skin and apply the dressings to your shallow cuts as the others carry on a discussion.

“I wish you luck in hiding your bandaged arms from Anthony.” Benedict intones, looking at you with a raised brow, clearly questioning your decision to keep your husband in the dark somewhat.

“I’ll conjure a story less worrisome than falling by the time he returns.” You tell the man, though you’re rather unsure what such a story would be.

“I should hope you do, otherwise I’ll surely be blamed for my failure to inform him.” He mutters, though he flashes you a grin that tells you that he isn’t truly vexed over the matter.

Benedict gets you patched up, and the afternoon passes much like the morning before your little incident- with idle conversation and lighthearted teasing between you all as you sit in one another’s company.

Finally, in the early evening, Anthony arrives home. He enters the room somewhat hastily, having already shed his jacket, hands working to roll up the sleeves of his shirt.

“Good afternoon, everyone.” He greets, offering you an adoring smile as he comes to stand beside you. Before you can so much as return his greeting his brows are furrowing, eyes landing on the bandaged expanses of your forearms.

“What on Earth happened?” He inquires, voice terse with worry. You open your mouth to spin a yarn about foolishly trying to pick a rose, or something else minor of the sorts, but Colin beats you to it.

“She had a fall in the gardens.” He says simply, making you snap your gaze to him, annoyance bubbling within you.

“Colin”

“You what?” Anthony cuts you off, though you ignore his question in favor of glowering at the younger Bridgerton brother.

“Why would you tell him?” The words come out somewhat hissed in your irritation. Colin looks at you with slightly wide eyes and shrugs.

“I hadn’t realized it was a secret.”

You heave a sigh, Anthony reaching out to hook a finger under your chin and raise your head, eyes anxiously searching your face in search of any injuries.

“I’m fine, truly-“

“Why didn’t you call on me?” He interjects, looking at you with slightly narrowed eyes before turning to offer the second eldest a far more severe glare. “She’s with child, either one of them might’ve been harmed.”

“I told him not to, Anthony, I’m positive that I’m alright.” You attempt to calm the man, though it seems to be to no avail.

“That matters not, I should have been told.” He cuts you off, still anxiously curt. “Especially considering none of you seem to possess the sense to have you checked by a doctor-“

“I’m not in need of a doctor!” You insist, taking the man’s hands, grappling for him to pay you mind. “I landed entirely on my arms- aside from the minor scrapes which Benedict very amiably dressed, I suffered no injuries.”

He looks down at you in silence for a moment, deep brown eyes boring into yours, hesitation evident within them.

“You’re positive?”

“There’s nary a doubt in my mind.” You assure, giving your husband a comforting smile. He sighs, leaning down to smear a kiss over your forehead.

“If you’re certain, my dear. But you shouldn’t try to hide such things from me.” He murmurs gently, before hardening once more as he turns on Benedict. “You are to tell me immediately should anything like this come to pass.” He imposes, staring him down accusingly. Benedict raises his hands in a show of surrender.

“Alright, alright, I understand.” He responds evenly, though he flashes you an exasperated look in a quick widening of his eyes. You smile amusedly as you lean into Anthony from where you sit with him standing beside you, his hand moving naturally to the side of your head, smoothing your hair behind your ear in a tender gesture he indulges you in often.

“Do you understand, dearest?” His voice has returned to a tender yet stern murmur as he looks down at your form, which by now has all but melted into his firm side. You nod.

“I do. I am not to hide any afflictions from you.” You recount, feeling soothed by his stroking fingers against your scalp.

“Precisely. I must ensure my beloved wife is safe, yes? And now too, my beloved child.”

Your heart flutters at his words, and a warm smile forms on your face as you’re reminded of your growing family.

“Yes,” you agree “you most certainly must.”

tags: @whizzbeesdukes @snapesdaughsjm @kyleed24 @woman-with-no-name @barneswidow @randomoutsiders @fandom-puff @spxllcxstxr @frecklesandfirecrackers @layaaaa @wholebigboxofyikes @fific7 @sunrisefairy @pandaxnienke @weasleyposts @mypainistemporary @amourtentiaa @drachoesimp @st0nesnglitter @quindolyn @fjorelaant @hoes4dameron @peterpanouat @elizabethrosedarling

#anthony bridgerton #bridgerton #anthony bridgerton x reader #anthony bridgerton x you #anthony bridgerton imagine #benedict bridgerton #anthony bridgerton fluff #bridgerton fanfic #bridgerton fanfiction #anthony bridgerton fanfic

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dairy-farmer · 2 years ago

Note

Okay, first, congrats on giving your kitty his furever home! I'm very excited for you!! Second, being post dental surgery is the worst

:( but I have some fic thoughts I thought you might enjoy?

Okay, because I'm on a Ra'sTim kick (I say as if I won't ship Tim with literally anyone at any time) I was thinking about an AU where in order to get Ra's help and get Bruce back, Tim makes a deal where he must allow himself to be courted by Ra's for like a year and day, because Ra's is extra. Tim and Ra's go back and forth on the exact wording for a long time, and it basically works out to: have spend x amount of time together. Tim has to publicly acknowledge the engagement/courtship, has to genuinely listen to Ra's side and vice versa, and Tim's big thing is after a year of honestly giving it a try, he can say no, but he also has to be an equal partner, in whatever role he takes. There would be other fun things you could add in for extra fluff or angst, which ever way you wanted to go. I personally love the idea of Tim insisting that he's very traditional and Ra's must get his Daddy's approval (Or Bruce in this case lol) because he'll only get married if he can have a big white wedding where he's given away by B.

I think, if I wrote it (which I'm not because I'm still working on my current WIPs at a snails paces T.T) I would either go for a very soft, very fluffy fairytale sort of writing, with the end being a kind of happy "Tim fucks off to get married, has lots of smutty sex and babies, and is very happy, even while the undercurrents of the story have a fucked up edge" or an angsty story of self destruction and recreating yourself over and over again for the temporary pleasure of approval only for the sting of never being enough in the long run. Both would have soft aspects, but also a lot of fucked up codependency from various relationships both platonic and romantic, and I think depending on what you focus on, it could be such a cool story idea. Idk, what do you think, and what direction would you want to take it in (assuming you're even into this idea/I'm not bothering you!)

(Btw, I need Tim in pretty green and gold lingerie, complete with corset and stockings in matching high heels sitting on Ra's desk, one heel dangerously close being very painful for Ra's where it rest on his lap. Tim is desperately horny and frustrated, because obviously, Ra's is a firm believer in waiting for marriage, and he needs to get his pussy wrecked now, because Ra's keeps teasing him and Tim is doing his best to make his control snap like a high tension steel wire- that is to say, snap hard, fast and with a lot of potential for collateral ;)

Anyways, I hope you have a great day.

Cheers, ♡♡♡

thank you🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰!!!! i hope you're healing well and feel better soon!! ❤️

and a fairytale-esque fic for rastim would be perfect!!!! just by nature the two of them would just skew a bit darker than normal because of how ra's is and how tim does have an unfortunate tendency to be more likely to go dark (i mean you can see the amount of universes where a tim who loses everything goes bad and facist so tim does have a risk of turning out like that). but with it having a fairytale edge it'd be nice to see two people who's pain is rarely awknowledged find happiness in each other.

it'd also be hilarious to see tim's whole narrative flipped on its head like halfway through when he realizes how much he actually likes ra's time and attention and would very much like more of it!! only ra's won't fuck him because tim told him he wanted to wait until marriage and until bruce gave him away as a bride.

cue tim trying to get ra's to give into temptation because he knows the sexually charged comments ra's has given him before. wearing short and tight clothing, see through clothing. finally he wait's in ra's gotham office reclined in nice gold three and green lingeries where everything can be seen. tim know ra's is staring at the pretty pink seam of his cunt as his digs the sole of his heel into the half chub that ra's is rocking.

bruce and the rest of the family getting traumatized, tapping tim's phone and seeing the messages they send each other...the pictures.

tim getting courted for the year and finally getting to marry and consummate with ra's. it's a beautiful wedding and people like it if they ignore how tim and ra's are pretty blatantly necking at the head table.

tim and ra's both find peace and acceptance in each other because although ra's may have started it out as a ploy and tim started out knowing it was as such they really did grow to enjoy each other's company. they liked how they felt when they were together and while they may have some ideological differences they are smoothed over with exposure to each other.

tim is the definition of an 'i can fix him' girlie but then he actually delivers!!!!!!!!

#anonymous #answered asks #asks

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nochuvalencia · 4 years ago

Text

𝐁 𝐁 𝐇 𝐌 𝐌 - jjk

I was basically inspired by these ^^^ pics of jk bc wow hot hi

⚠️ ALSO QUICK DISCLAIMER :: this is my first fanfic on here so it might be terrible but enjoy anyway. ⚠️

𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 :: reader x crimeboss!jk

𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺 :: bitch you better have his money.

𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 :: ABSOLUTE SMUTTY FILTH heh angst too ig

𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 :: 11.9k

𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 :: long haired tatted jk, that’s it, that’s the warning, uh kinda sketchy plot hsjsjsj, WOW ANGST ASF at the beginning tho, dub!con towards the middle don’t hurt me, fuck or die ig, gunplay????? yeah????? jks BLATANT OVERUSE of pet names, dacryphillia, major-ish character death, describing the injuries on a dead body, jk has a sir kink ig??? um excessive over exaggerated choking bc jks hands yum, explicit seggs, rough jk, he’s kinda mean, dom!jk, sub!reader, oral m&f receiving (facefucking on both ends), coochie sniff if you squint, coochie slaps if u squint too, spanking, OVERSTIMULATION, unprotected seggs, degradation, he calls her a bitch once idk, other bad names, praise too ig, jk gives an ultimatum, SLIGHT aftercare, he kinda like switches from flirty to murderous like a bunch of times it’s kinda weird, jk has an impossibly huge shlong obv, contemplating death, super mature themes, reader is a BIG fucking crybaby, overuse of the word fuck, corruption kink at the end if u squint super hard, also DUB!CON in case you didn’t see it, at this point I should just write what it doesn’t have

“If you’re not out of my house in 3.4 seconds, I'm dragging you out by the testicles” you uttered, your alarmingly calm voice laced with raw brutality as hot tears cascaded down your burning cheeks, your arm outstretched and pointed toward the blinding light of the hallway that contrasted with your dark bedroom. You said nothing more, with your eyes trained angrily at one of the four blank tan walls nearby, not possibly being able to bear speaking to or sparing a glance into the eyes of a cheating whore. The woman you had just caught him with scurried past you wearily, a terrified and confused glint in her eyes as she passed your frigid frame sans underwear, with her sparkly silver pumps dangling from her fingers and a wrinkly silver dress hanging limply from the clutches of her other hand. The man in question shuffled cautiously around the bed, clutching the exposed parts of his body and approaching you with extreme hesitation and outstretched hands, as if trying to calm the already blazing flames of your fury. He laid a cold, rough hand on your shoulder squeezing softly, a motion that once brought you comfort but only added the all consuming hatred that bubbled up inside you akin to ravenous bile filling up the pit of your belly. “Did you not hear what I said? Get out.” You spat, glossy eyes still pointed toward anything but him.

“____ please” he croaked, like the slimy frog he truly was, his voice dripping in false agony which only neared you closer to the brink of undoubtedly committing an act of extreme violence against that man. “Please baby it wasn’t-'' you blanked. He was about to make an excuse. A stupid, rediculous, horrible, completely false excuse which you had absolutely no patience to hear. So you snapped, harshly shrugging your shoulder and sending his arm flying back to his side. He stepped back, ceasing his incessant chatter as he stared at you, a surprised expression painting his “pained” features. He wasn’t accustomed to you acting like this, you were never one to raise your voice or act out in any sort of way so he stood there, eyes widened in dumbfounded silence and you took this chance, bending down, scooping up as much of his discarded clothing as you possibly could and throwing it in his face, your rage bubbling over into something much more carnal as you inhaled deeply through your nose.

“Shut the fuck up and leave!” He scrambled to catch as many clothes as he could and was taken aback by your abrupt outburst. He stood silent once again though this time, he was making the face he often made when forcing himself to cry. It was the face he made around his mother to get out of family responsibilities. The face he made around his friends when guilt tripping them into buying him drinks, and now he's using it for you. To guilt you into taking pity on his pathetic actions which merely was the catalyst for your unforgiving violence. In an instant you were behind him, heaving him out of the door with your bare hands, pushing with all your might, using the immense pain coursing through your limbs as motivation to drive his beefy frame further and further out of the bedroom, down the hallway, into the living room and closer to the door yelling “I said leave! Leave! Now!” Pushing harder and harder with every word you choked out. The tears began to flow faster, clouding and distorting your vision as your face contorted into an expression of pure anguish until finally, he was forced out of the open doorway and into the main hallway of your apartment building. You promptly slammed the door in his face and the only thought traveling though your mind was ‘thank god she left that door open’ because you wouldn’t have been able to force him through it otherwise.

You stood silently for a few seconds, back to the door, face still slick with tears as the cool wood on your back shook senselessly with every beat of his fist and muffled shout of his voice crying phrases like “____ open the fuking door!” , “this is my apartment too baby come on” and other variations of the sort. Your mind was empty while you remained there, letting the harsh reality sink in like the slowest molasses. You allowed that man, that pig, to take 10 years of your life. 10 years of your prime. 10 years that you'll never get back no matter how much you beg and plead for it. Come to think of it, you had shaped your entire life around him. His influence was there no matter how much you wished it wasn’t. His residue staining your life like the blackest ink of which you would never be able to rid yourself. At the surfacing of these thoughts, you’d finally broke down and cried, like ugly cried. Broken heaves and sobs escaped your throat until you felt like you were suffocating as you slid down the door, not caring if he heard your wails and whines of torment on the other side of the polished mahogany. You actually hoped he did hear, you wanted him to hear the anguish and grief he put you through. You wanted him to hear you cry out all of your attachment and love for him until there was none left, so he knows the tears flowing from your body hold all of the affection you harbor for him. All ten years of attraction flowing out in a gigantic tsunami of grief that can only end in a new start.

Your mind played through all the memories, and the small amount of good times you had with each other while you sobbed mercilessly, also coming to the realization that he never did anything for you. Ever since you were 14 you’d been changing everything about yourself for him, while he merely lived his life, dragging you along like a supportive little puppy and rewarding you with cheap token gifts and mediocre sex once in a blue moon.

He wanted to attend university in your hometown so you abandoned your dream school, which accepted you, to attend a closer college. He made the decision to study abroad, so you had to drop everything and move to Australia for him. He wanted to wait to have kids so you froze your fucking eggs for him. He got a great new job at a large company in Asia, so you dropped everything again and moved to South Korea. You learned Korean for him. You have the same friends as him. You even cut a few family members off because he was “uncomfy” around them. He wouldn’t even go down on you because it also made him ‘uncomfy’, which should’ve been a red flag from the start. You did all of this bullshit in the haze of love. The promise that he’d reciprocate all of it in affection and adoration, which he didn’t, and now you’re sitting in your living room bawling your brains out because you were too lovestruck to see the signs.

After sobbing hysterically for what seemed like hours, you’d sat limply in front of your door, slouching back onto it as if it were a plush armchair and staring blankly into space, your mind completely empty. Feeling overwhelmed and exhausted beyond belief, you leaned forward, groaning in anguish as your tired muscles cried out in distress after being immobile for more than four hours. Crawling over to the couch, you tiredly flung your nearly paralyzed body onto the soft cushions with a sigh, not even bothering to pull the fluffy throw blanket over your body as your entire frame began to steadily shut down. Before your eyes completely shut, you caught a glimpse of the clock perched on the wooden tv stand which read 11:11 and scoffing quietly as you thought to yourself, ‘I thought that was supposed to mean good luck’ and you gave in to the delicious expanse of slumber.

You were startled awake by the incessant pounding of your now ex-boyfriends fist on the door, again. For the past 4 days since you’d forced him out, he’d show up outside your door at the ass crack of dawn just banging on the door profusely, as if that would persuade you to open it an inch. He had a schedule, he’d come at 5am, before he went off to work, then at 12:30 on his lunch break, then again at 9:45 just to make you miserable before you went to bed. You’re actually surprised the neighbors haven’t complained to the landlords yet. You tossed the blanket off of your sticky body, kicking and thrashing wildly due to the annoyance caused by that nuisance.

You cried more times than you can count during these last 4 days, especially during the times he would attempt to win you over with sappy shit like “baby, you’re my everything, you’re all i’ve ever wanted”, the lyrics to one of your favorite songs or, “you’re my forever ____, you can’t just throw 10 years away babe” to which you cried about for 3 hours after he’d said it, after realizing that he actually wasted 10 fucking years of your life. Anger bubbled up in the pit of your stomach as you listened to the repetitive banging of his fist and at this point you had enough and came to the decision it was finally time to pack his shit. Stomping into the living room, you grabbed a necessary box of bags that sat on the coffee table in the center of the room, figuring you were ready to use it. With a final nod of your head, you marched into your shared bedroom and opened all of the cabinets and drawers that contained the plethora of his belongings and flinging them on the floor, grabbing the box of xl trash bags you’d snagged on your march in here and started tossing things in left and right, not caring about the brand name or the state of the fabric or anything for that matter. All you saw was red as your eyes welled up with tears for the first and probably not last time that day.

“I can’t do this” you sobbed out, voice hoarse as you fell to your knees, ignoring the rugburn that was soon to form on those areas as your shoulders shook with every harsh breath you took. You had been dreading this task. Dreading it only for its significance that once you packed all his things and tossed them out, your relationship would be truly over. You definitely didn’t want him back but this would be the first time you’ve been alone in 10+ years and you were not certain you were prepared for that let alone wanting it. Inhaling shakily, you sniffed, ridding your face of any moisture as you cleared your throat and walked back into the kitchen, grabbing the bottle of chardonnay from your anniversary that fell on the week prior and venturing back into the closet to resume your task. You weren’t much of a drinker but for this task, you’d need a bottle or two.

A few hours later, he’d finally went off to work and you sat in the doorway of the closet, drunkenly dressed in the wedding gown you were made to be wed in this summer still combing through all of his clothing and tossing them messily into a bag that laid open on the floor beside you. You took a swig from the bottle, hissing softly at the satisfying burn that seared it’s way down your throat and rubbing at your puffy eyes with the knuckle of your index finger. The closet was mostly bare, except for a rack with some of his clothes and one rack of semi-expensive clothing his cheap ass reluctantly purchased for you and you glanced around, catching a glimpse of some ugly floral fabric in the corner of the small space. Getting on your hands and knees you reached a limp hand out, taking hold of the horrendous fabric and dragging it out with a groan, eyes wide at the surprising heft of the object in your hand.

It was a pillowcase. A pillowcase full of something brick shaped. You raised an eyebrow quizzically before reaching into the bag and pulling out a fat stack of cash. Taking a sharp intake of breath you paused, staring blankly at the wrapped wad in your hand and cocking your head to the side. You peeked over into the bag after a few minutes, eyes popping out of your skull as they feasted on more huge stacks of money. It was Korean currency but there had to be at least 250k USD worth in the entire sack. You furrowed your brows, tossing the money back into the pillowcase forcefully as a tornado of thoughts whirled in your mind. Had he been saving behind your back? Was he planning on getting rich then eventually hanging you out to dry for some younger girl? How long has he had all of this? Where the fuck did it all come from?

You looked back at the money then back at the corner you found it in, squinting as you spotted some more ugly purple fabric. Crawling behind the clothing earnestly, you managed to fish out 4 more pillowcases full of money. You stifled a laugh, having never been in the presence of so much currency, you guessed it had to be more than 1 million dollars. You smiled for the first time in 4 days, lips curling up into a wide joy filled expression as you dumped all of the money onto the rugged floor of the closet. With all of the alcohol coursing through your veins, (almost a whole bottle) you didn’t hesitate to grab the biggest tote bag you own and stuff as much money as it could hold inside. You figured it was the least he could do after cheating on you.

He deserved to pay, and you obviously deserved a raise.

It was a full on shopping spree. After throwing all of his shit into bags, you tossed them outside your door and left with as much money as you could carry before he could come back on his lunch break. You even came back to get some more money, just to go out and spend it again. To say you splurged would be an understatement, you spent almost half of the money on clothes, shoes, a hair and makeup appointment, a manicure, a new car, and you even paid rent for six months after taking his name off the lease.

So here you were, struggling up the stairs as quick as you could, due to the fact that it was 9:30 and you were trying to avoid seeing him at his 9:45 visit. Your feet screamed in agony in your new jimmy choo pumps, because you’d been on them all day, and you had at least six shopping bags hanging from each arm, all full with an assortment of gaudy items such as shoe boxes, makeup products, and clothing. You had finally reached the door after a while, smiling at the absence of his bags which meant he took them and swiftly unlocked the door, clamoring in and tiredly dropping the bags in your hands. With a sigh, you locked the door, running a hand through your freshly styled hair as you rid your face of the designer sunglasses that shielded it. Kicking off your shoes, you hummed gratifyingly at the pleasurable feeling of bare feet and shuffled over to your couch, plopping down on the end cushion groggily.

A soft buzz in your back pocket caught your attention as you carefully fished out the new phone you purchased and unlocked it with your perfectly manicured fingers, raising an eyebrow quizzically as the texts rolled in, ‘i thought i blocked him’ you thought, preparing to do it a second time before a few texts caught your attention and you froze on the spot, chuckling heartlessly at his words.

+82 2 2263 5950 : whose car is in our parking spot?

+82 2 2263 5950 : did you already move on?

+82 2 2263 5950 : wow whore

You rolled your eyes, wondering where he attained the gaul to accuse you of a feat such as that. Calling you a whore as if that name isn’t suitable for himself. Even more so than you. You decided to text him back, feeding off of an unknown source of confidence as your fingers furiously tapped along the screen.

me : it’s my car asshole

me : bought it with the money u left me

me :thx baby <3

+82 2 2263 5950 : what money?

me : the money in the closet you didn’t bother telling me abt u dumb fuck

+82 2 2263 5950 : don’t use that money

me : why should i listen to you?

me : you aren’t my bf

+82 2 2263 5950 : no seriously ____ don’t use that money wtf is wrong with u

me : already did bye babe

You blocked him as quickly as you could, face burning with absolute anger as you tossed your phone on the cushion beside you. Who is he to tell you what you could or couldn’t do? You had come to the decision then and there that you wouldn't let him treat you like a child. He wasn’t your dad. Thanks to him you barely speak to your dad. The only thought going through your mind at the time was ‘fuck him.’ Before you could delve into your thoughts any further, it started. His incessant pounding on the door. Again. Although, this time it was much more frantic, desperate. He was much louder with his pathetic pleas and whines, crying out “please don’t use that money!”, “Listen to me god damn it!”, “___ open the fucking door now!” But you stood your ground, ignoring him once again as you did for the past few days.

Just to escape the racket of his wails of desperation, you retreated to your room, slipping on one of his expensive balenciaga sweatshirts you kept for yourself and climbing into the cool blankets, burying yourself under the plush fabric and folding your pillow over your ears. You knew this would be the longest night of your life..

And you were correct, It was the longest night of your life. He never truly got the memo that you would not be coming out to communicate with him so he finally left at around 1:30 in the morning. You had slept horribly, tossing and turning as the aftermath of his cries and pleads left a print on your mind and tormented you at all hours of the night, you didn’t manage to get any real sleep until around eight and woke up a mere five hours later in a state of confusion. It was well past noon and yet it was silent, you had woken up of your own volition, not because of some crazy man outside of your apartment screaming like a banshee. In due time, you had come to the conclusion that he had finally given up and gone about his day without banging on his ex-girlfriend's apartment door like an idiot at all hours of the day.

This theory was almost set in your mind until you heard a knock. Groaning violently, you stared up at your ceiling, eyebrows furrowed as you erased that theory from the whiteboard in your cortex. Fully prepared to ignore the person at the door, you rolled over to your side until another knock was heard. This wasn’t him. This couldn’t be him. The knocks were way too soft, they lacked an element of urgency, desperation. They were simply just way too calm. So, you sat up, swinging your legs over and reluctantly standing up, before making your way into the living room to be greeted with another knock and a smooth male voice calling out. “Miss ___ ___?”

You glanced wearily though your peep hole to be met with a tall male, dressed in a blue and white uniform. “Looks like a cop. He called the fucking cops on me, shit.” you whispered to yourself, voice small as you held onto the door handle. Figuring it’d be worse to make him wait, you opened the door, being met with the warm, dimpled smile, of the decorated individual. “Yes, i”m ____” you respond, shoving your hands into the pockets of your sweatshirt and looking everywhere but him, which probably seems more suspicious than anything but you were too riddled with anxiety to care. The officer clutched a navy blue manilla folder in his hand and opened it promptly in order to sift through its contents.

“Hi, i’m officer Kim.” he breathed out, calmly bowing and resuming his apparent spiel, “do you know this man?” he pondered, raising an eyebrow quizzically as he pulled a photo from his folder with calloused fingers and lifted it, spinning it around to face you. Your eyes widened slightly upon being shown a picture of your ex and you nodded hesitantly.

“He’s my ex boyfriend- well ex fiance I guess.” you responded, voice barely audible as your mind raced faster than the speed of sound. You asked yourself what he could’ve done that was bad enough for the police to show up at your door. Maybe you had been too harsh on him and he had gotten into one to many bar fights, maybe he robbed a bank at gunpoint, maybe he stole some old lady’s car and filled it with off brand mayonnaise before he returned it. All your questions- all your thoughts stopped as Officer Kim responded, running a tired hand through his hair.

“He passed, earlier today.” he paused, giving you time to digest things and you froze, staring at his face blankly as your mind processed what you had just been told and you hummed questioningly, your throat becoming tight with realization. “It happened around five this morning,” he paused again as you stood in complete silence. Sure you hated him but you’d never wish death upon another person, especially him. You hate him now but you were in love with him once too. You hate him now but, he was the closest person in your life. He was all of your firsts, your fiance, your best friend. You thought you wouldn’t be able to get all of that back because of the breakup but now you truly can never get any of it back, because he’s dead. Then, you started to cry, for the hundredth time this week but this one was different. You weren’t crying because you missed him, or wanted him to come back like all the other times, as horrible as it sounds. You were crying because you felt bad. Because of his short life that was ripped from him by the unforgiving hand of death. You weren’t crying because of him, you were crying for him. A hand on your shoulder interrupted your sobs and you wiped your face, glancing up at the culprit with glassy eyes. “I’m so sorry for your loss...” he paused, giving you a few moments to breathe as he rubbed your shoulder comfortingly before speaking again, “but we have an idea of who did it, it would be helpful if you just came down to the station with me for some questioning.” he asked softly as the shaking sobs and whimpers that came from your body slowed to a halt and you nodded.

“Yeah, uh. Let me just go get dressed.” You muttered, smiling up at him softly and shuffling back to your room to prepare. The longest night of your life was about to turn into the longest day.

And you were correct again as you stood in front of your apartment door after the absolute, and I cannot stress this enough, longest day of your life. Your ex was murdered, brutally, and they made sure to go over all of the gory details with you while you were at the precinct, they even took you to see his body, which made you cry because it was mangled almost beyond recognition and you were horrified. Apparently, he had been tortured for hours, which explained all the bruises, gashes, and burn marks on his body, strangled, thus the huge ring shaped mark around his neck, and dumped into a river, which made his body all pruny and wrinkled. You had spent 10 long hours at the police precinct and it was now nearing midnight as you fished your keys from your pocket in order to unlock the door. Inserting your key, you jiggle it around in the lock for a minute before realizing it was already unlocked initially. Figuring you had left it unlocked accidentally in your depressed haze, you pushed your way into your apartment and locked it promptly, pressing your forehead into the cool wood of the door. You sighed softly, relaxing only for a minute as you absorbed your surroundings before freezing as you heard the rhythmic tapping of someone's foot.

“Long day huh?” the voice was deep, one you hadn’t heard before as you remained facing the door, your grip of the handle tightening until your knuckles turned white. He spoke again, “you must be ____.” he murmured softly, sending a terrified shudder down your spine. “I’ve been wanting to meet you but he said you were off limits. You know, he talks about you a lot-...” he stopped himself as if realizing something, “well talked, I mean.” the man mused, an ominous chuckle flowing from his mouth.

“Who are you?” you rasped, attempting to conceal any cowardice but blinking your eyes harshly as your voice broke. You vaguely hoped this was one of your ex’s friends coming to visit, at an odd hour of the night, sitting ominously in the dark of your apartment waiting for you to come home just to say hi but the chances of that actuality was very slim.

“None of your business” the man retorted, a smirk evident in his ominous tone. “Now, let’s get down to business little dove,” you furrowed your brows at the nickname. You had never been called a nickname, especially by a man who randomly just snuck into your apartment one night. Your ex only ever called you baby or babe so little dove was different for you. It seemed endearing in the worst type of way. “I want the rest of my money.” he paused, “I found half of it in a closet here, and he said you might know where the rest is.” he paused again, only this time a sound is heard, a metal rattling of some sort that ricochets off of the walls of the apartment like a stray jumping bean in a pill case. Then it hits you, he has a gun, and he just shook it as if he intends to use it. . “Don’t make me ask again sweetheart.” Your eyes widen and well up as your head falls down, knowing you're going to die today and you take a deep breath, telling yourself you’d be ready for whatever happens so you decide, if you’re gonna die, you should at least know the name of the man that’s gonna kill you so you scrape together every last drop of confidence you can muster and ask once more.

“I said, w-who are yo-” you choked out, in an attempt to hold onto the last shred of your dignity as you blinked back the tears threatening to fall from your glassy eyes. However, your small shred of confidence is promptly ripped from your grasp as the man cuts you off mid sentence, slamming his gun down onto a hard surface with a loud clatter. You jolt, crying out softly as the tears you’d been holding back with all your might fall onto the ground before you.

“I said none of your fucking business bitch where’s my fucking money.” he spat, his sinister tone draing a choked sob from your thoat as you realized, you wouldn’t be getting anything you wanted today. “Answer me” he said, alarmingly calm as the sound of him cocking his gun travels directly to your mind.

“I spent it” you muttered between your soft hiccups and stiffened slightly upon hearing a heavy footstep approach you, then another footstep, and another, and another until they cease, and you can feel the man's warm breath raising the hair on the back of your neck. All your readiness for whatever happens and willingness to die flies out of the window as you lean your head on the door once more, taking a shaky breath as you begin to plead, aware of how pathetic you sound and part of the reason why you have such a strong urge to cry harder. “Please don’t kill me” you whined desperately as you feel the cold metal of the gun barrel resting on your shoulder.

“Relax little dove” he whispered, his lips brushing the back of your ear and sending a chill rushing through the entire expanse of your body. “Just find a way to pay me back and we’re even,” he continued calmly, his raspy voice reverberating in your eardrums as you think through what he just said carefully. You gasp and sniffle, shaking your head softly and lifting it slowly from the wooden door frame.

“I-” you stopped, taking a deep breath and preparing yourself as much as you could for his response then opened your mouth to continue. “I don’t have that kind of money” you whispered hesitantly, shutting your eyes tightly, allowing nothing to escape but the numerous tears that fell to the ground in anticipation of his actions. There was an eerie silence as he contemplated your words before he abruptly turned away, lifting the gun from your shoulder and holstering it in the waistband of his jeans, causing you to let out a wavering breath you’d been holding that entire time. His hand traveled back up, taking refuge on your left shoulder as the other hand made its way up your right arm, the warmth setting your skin aflame and sending a shockwave of warmth coursing through your body.

“There is another way you could pay me back.” his velvet voice rasped, stressing the word ‘another’ in a way that you immediately understood his insinuation and you took a sharp intake of air, bracing yourself for what he was about to say next. But he didn’t say anything for a moment, letting his hands do the talking for him as he gripped your arms softly, using his hands to spin you around and face him. You whirled around, yelping in surprise but stopping when you were met with the most exquisite, carnivorous brown eyes you had ever seen in your life that were accompanied by full pink lips and a tousled bunch of fluffy black hair you just wanted to run your hands through. Even in the darkness of night, the moonlight streaming through the kitchen window illuminated the room enough for you to trail your eyes down his face and get a vivid idea of what he’d look like with illumination.

Yummy as fuck.

Your eyes began to wander down to his exposed collarbone and before they could travel any lower, his fingers roughly grabbed your chin, forcing your gaze upward until you met his borderline cannibalistic gaze, which crushed you into nothing. He cocked his head to the side, a mischievous glint in his eyes as the corner of his lips turn upward slightly. “He was always bragging about you… saying,” he speaks, his sultry tone lulling you into a state of compliance as he spoke, “you’re such a good fuck,” he continues, placing his left hand gently on your waist and stepping even closer, if that’s possible, his soft breath hitting your face with every word as he speaks. “Your sweet little cunt is so tight” he glances down at your lips, running his thumb over your bottom lip “your mouth feels like heaven” he pauses again, running his hand down to hold the side of your neck softly to which you gasp “maybe i’d like a demonstration little dove.” he smiles, a twisted horrifying smile that snaps you out of his seductive trance and back to reality as your eyes widen and you pull yourself quickly out of his hold, running over to the couch and bracing yourself on it.

“No” you cry out, out of breath for some reason as you swallow thickly and shake your head. “No, I'll find a way to pay you back, I promise.” you plead, praying he wasn’t going to kill you on the spot and that he hadn’t noticed your blatant ogling. He probably did but at this point you didn’t care, you just wanted him gone.

“Whatever you say sweetheart” he replied, emitting a dark chuckle “call me if you change your mind, my number’s in your phone” he opened the front door and you glanced back at him, noticing the way his all black attire contrasts with his tan skin, and most of all, you notice the full sleeve of tattoos that ran down his right arm. Heat crawled up to your face as you realized you were gawking again and you nodded in response, feeling unable to form the words to respond with. He only uttered the words “you have a week.” before the door slammed and you were left alone in the dark.

You ran your fingers along the side of your neck where the aftermath of his touch lingered like a searing residue. No one had ever touched you like that, especially your ex. He was the man that took your virginity and was the man there for every time after so you’d become accustomed to his textbook missionary vanilla sex that left you touch starved and unfinished every. single. time. But you’d finish yourself off each time, feeling bad because you thought he was trying his hardest and truly didn’t understand how to please women. But as time went on, you realized he didn’t care about your pleasure and too enveloped in his own release to ever worry about your needs, but were too deep in love with him to care.

Your thoughts were interrupted when your phone went off to signal a text and upon picking it up there were two text messages from an unknown number that sent a shiver down your spine which read.

+82 2 5284 8735 : don’t try to run

+82 2 5284 8735 : we’ll hunt you down little dove

“Can’t you just take the shit back?” You questioned frantically, clutching the phone by your head until your knuckles turned white, rolling your eyes tiredly when you got no response. “They hung up, great” you deadpanned, plopping onto the couch you had been pacing in front of. It has been 6 days since the man showed up and you were running out of time and hadn’t slept in two days, your mind running frantically with the thought of him coming back to see you nearly empty handed. Well, not exactly empty handed. You had managed to get 253k of the whopping +400k dollars you had spent of his money and after not being able to return the car, manicure, hair appointment, rent, and a bunch of clothes and shoes, you were manic. Some might even say a bit crazy. Many of the stores and the dealership knew you by name because of the amount of times you called them. You dropped your phone into your lap, burying your face in your hands and wishing someone was here to console you through this but the only person you knew even remotely enough to offer any consolation was your ex. You wish he was alive so you could punch that bitch in the face and ask him what kind of shit he got himself into because the man that paid you a visit was most definitely not from corporate.

You sat for a silent minute deliberating if you should text the mystery man and take him up on his offer. You had asked yourself, is it really worth your life? Were you really going to die because you didn’t want to sleep with the hot guy you stole money from? The answer at first was yes because you still had your pride intact then but now, you had been starting to second guess your confidence in getting all the money back. After all, the deadline is tomorrow. You still had your hesitations, the only man who has ever seen you in such a lewd nature was your ex. You didn’t know if you were ready for sex with another person, even if he was the hottest man you’d ever seen. But, against your better nature, you convinced yourself that your ex was gone and this was bound to happen sooner or later, so why not sooner?

You grabbed your phone in earnest before anything inside you could convince you to stop and unlocked it, opening the messages for his number and typing out your text, hitting send before any sort of regret had the chance to sink in.

me : i’ll take your offer

me : this is ____ btw

You placed your phone down on the couch cushions beside you and chewed nervously on the not so fresh manicure that was still on your nails. To your surprise, his reply came in quickly and you frantically reached for your phone as the dings came rolling in.

+82 2 5284 8735 : i know who you are

+82 2 5284 8735 : i'll be there in 20

+82 2 5284 8735 : be ready sweetheart

Your heart thumped restlessly as you shot up from your seat shouting “twenty minutes?!” and you cried out nervously. You hadn’t even seen his face in good lighting and you didn't know his name so you’d basically be fucking a complete stranger which scared you enough as it is but the fact that that stranger held you at gunpoint merely a week prior is what scared you shitless.

In the limited time that he gave you, you decided to freshen up a bit so you hopped in the shower. Your first shower in a few days after your psychotic state worsened. Humming in bliss, you relished in the feeling of the scalding water flowing over your skin as you took your time washing , shaving, and singing, in an attempt to rid yourself of the horrendous nerves that overtook your senses. After reluctantly stepping out of the steamy oasis, you’d decided on a white lingerie set you had gotten yourself for christmas but never got to wear for anyone because your significant other was always “working” or too tired/busy to take the time of day for you. Pairing the set with a matching white silk robe and not bothering to wear any shoes because you’re in your own house, you slicked your lips in a thick coat of gloss and applied some mascara and eyeliner to your tired eyes just to spruce up a bit. You figured, if you put effort into your appearance, then maybe he’d spare your life after the sex. You stared at yourself in the mirror, tying your robe, smacking your glossed lips together and ogling your appearance before a soft knocking was heard from the living room. “He’s here” you told yourself with a deep shaky breath as you vacated the bathroom and slowly ventured toward the door.

You stood silently before the front door, contemplating whether this was a mistake or if it was too late to turn back. As much as you hated to admit, there was no logical solution to your problem that was in compliance with any standing laws. Heck, what you were doing was probably illegal in everywhere but Las Vegas so you had no other choice than to twist the handle, open the door and stare up at the most alluring man you had ever laid eyes on. You ran your eyes all over his body, studying him, his features, his gorgeous eyes, impeccable nose, plush lips, smooth hair, and strong arms that lead to a presumed strong chest hidden under his plain white tee. He noticed you blatantly checking him out to which he placed a finger on your chin, lifting your face up so your eyes met and making you watch as he rolled his bottom lip into his mouth, sucking on it for a moment. Oh how you wished that was your lip.

“You ready little dove?” he asked, his tone seductive and smooth like chocolate as he walked closer to you, closing the door behind him and backing you up until you stood patiently before the couch staring up at him, a wistful glint in your eyes as you nodded. He reached up, using a finger to push your robe off of your right shoulder and cocking his head quizzically. “All dressed up just for me?” he pondered, his eyes trained on the white lace peeking out from under the robe. You nodded, to which he gripped your chin roughly, furrowing his eyebrows at your response. “Use your words sweetheart” he warned, loosening his grip so you could speak in affirmation.

“Yes…” your voice trailed off, thinking of what to call him, as you still didn’t know his name, so you addressed him as you would any man you didn’t know, “yes, sir. I dressed up just for you” you concluded, your voice barely greater than a whisper as the corners of his lips turned up. He let out an animalistic growl at the name you gave for him, obviously satisfied and moved his hand from your chin to grip the back of your neck promptly.

“It’s Jungkook, but sir will do nicely” he basically growled before latching onto your lips with carnal aggressiveness. You whined heartily into his mouth as his tongue slipped deftly into yours and intertwined with yours, causing your mind to fall into a haze as he coiled his arm around your waist, bringing your body flush against his toned frame. You reached up with shaky hands, fumbling with his shirt, eager to get it off of him and gaze upon the expanse of his abdomen. His lips detached for a moment, giving you the chance to pull his shirt over his head, which he gladly obliged and lifted his hands over his head, swiftly resuming their positions when his shirt formed a pile on the floor beside you. You leaned back in, attempting to capture his lips in another phenomenal kiss but he pulled back, leaving you to chase him and whine when you ultimately lose, to which he laughs mischievously, taking his hands off of your body and toying with the silk tie on the front of your robe.

“How do you want it baby?” he pondered, the new nickname sending shivers down your spine as you glanced at him quizzically, as if asking what he meant. He chuckled softly, tugging at the ribbon and opening your robe as he brought his hands up, carefully sliding it down your arms and bending down so his face was level with your collarbone. He placed a gentle kiss there, leaving fire in the wake of his lips as he spoke, his breath cooling the seared flesh, “would you like me to be gentle?” he asked leaving more hot kisses along the expanse of your shoulder and neck, drawing salacious sounds from your parted lips as he brought his hand up to rest at the base of your neck. “Or…” he paused, sliding his hand up and increasing the intensity of his grip on your throat, restricting the blood flow to your brain as your mind became hazy and your eyes rolled into the back of your head. “Do you want me to be rough?” he continued, lifting his head to watch your face as he loosened his grip. “It’s your choice little dove.”

You were elated, ecstatic and a little disappointed when he loosened his grip on your neck. Your ex was always into sex that lindered toward the vanilla side, as mentioned before, so he would never think to try anything like choking, which always intrigued you just a little bit. You wished you would have experienced other styles of love before you met him but you didn't, and this was your chance to try them out now. Your fingers travelled up, lightly grazing over that hand that was tightly wrapped around your neck. Whining quietly you rolled your bottom lip between your teeth, biting it softly as your other hand came up and wrapped around Jungkook’s forearm.

“I wanna try it rough” you mumbled, eyes closing as you relished in the hazy feeling this restriction gave you which only heightened as he tightened his grip.

“Perfect.” he groaned out almost inaudibly as he pulled your face to his, colliding your lips in the roughest, most passion filled kiss you’d ever experienced. He devoured your mouth with gluttonous amusement, his grip on your airway never wavering for a moment as he tongued you down, his carnal need prevalent and present in the thick air of the room. You reached up, completing a task you’d been wanting to do for days, tangling your hand in the messy black mass that fell upon his head, and relishing in the soft feeling of his waves. Then he detached from your lips and moved away, forcing your hands to fall from his hair and onto his broad shoulders, which, while pleasurable to touch, didn’t even come close to frolicking your fingers through his locks. He moved his hand from your neck to your shoulder, to which you whined with a small pout, missing the new contact as he chuckled at your eagerness. He stared at your lips, before leaning down and capturing your bottom lip between his teeth, biting down on it voraciously before he spoke. “Do you want me to put this slutty little mouth of yours to use little dove?” he asked, pulling back as if waiting for an answer, to which you obliged.

“Yes sir” You answered quite honestly in fact, as you felt all your hesitation and weariness about this task slip away. “Please put my mouth to use.” you pleaded, staring up at him, a wanton expression on your soft features.

“You’re so good for me .” he whispered, his soft breath fanning your face as you nodded in agreement, “such an obedient little dove, hmm?” he asked, to which you nodded once again, a bit more frantically this time as you awaited his cue. He used the hand on your shoulder to abruptly push you down with a small yelp so you were seated on the black leather couch behind you, the colder leather contrasting the burning lust in your entire body as you looked up at him. “Get to work slut.” Your eyes widened at the name. Maybe it was supposed to be an insult or he just liked calling you that but you couldn’t help the gargantuan wave of slick that coated your panties at the moment.

You looked down, a bit above eye level with his crotch as you reached up to palm him through his faded blue jeans. His scent was tantalizing, musky, and you couldn't get enough as you stared up at him through your eyelashes, your lips slightly parted as you gazed in awe. He gave you a warning glance, as if scolding you for teasing him for this long and you unzipped his pants. He held out his hand, as if to stop you before reaching behind his pants and pulling his gun from the back of his jeans. Your eyes widened, gaze now trained on the firearm in his hand, a horrified expression on your face as you ceased all actions. Which he noticed, peering down at you, a horrifying smile etched on his godlike features as he opened his mouth to speak.

“Relax darling, I won’t kill you,” he purred, reaching down and weaving the fingers of his free hand into the roots of your hair, grabbing and pulling back roughly so you have no other choice but to meet his dark eyes. “We’re only just getting started.” he lowered the gun, pressing the muzzle into the underside of your jaw, the cold metal like ice against your scalding skin. However, you felt no need to cry, felt no need to fear for your life even as this gun was pressed to your neck, aimed to kill, because you knew he wouldn’t do it. Through the dark facade and ominous gaze in his eyes there was something else that made you trust his inability to kill you. You realized you were enjoying the thrill, the excitement of putting your life in his hands. So, you did what any crazy bitch would do in this situation, you breathed out deeply, relaxing your shoulders and slouching yourself down to push your neck further onto the tip of the gun with a mischievous smile. Jungkook stared down at you in awe, running his tongue on the inside of his cheek and taking his gun off of your neck before tossing it over to the end of the couch behind you.

Resuming your actions with a shaky breath, you tugged his pants down until they fell to his ankles and placed your hands on the sides of his underwear clad hips. You might’ve been inexperienced in his style of fucking but you sure knew how to give a good blowjob, so you got to work, placing open mouthed kisses to his clothed appendage. You looked up at him once more seeing the lust clouded haze that filled his deep brown eyes. After a bit of teasing, you hooked your fingers in the waistband of his underwear, pulling it down in a seductively slow manner as you allowed his needy cock to spring free, and you stared up at it with a gasp.

It was huge.

You didn’t really know what qualifies as huge because the only dick you’ve ever had was around 6 inches on a good day but this alluring appendage swinging before your face had to be at least 9 inches long and you wondered how the fuck you were going to fit it all in your mouth let alone your pussy, which was already aching for it. Your mouth involuntarily opened wider in anticipation of his delicious dick inside and you grabbed the base, with two hands, drawing a hiss from the man that stood over you as he kicked off his shoes and the rest of the clothing that pooled around his feet. You licked teasingly up the sides of his dick, stopping at the tip to swirl your tongue around it, and catching some salty precum when you did. You glanced up at him and he looked absolutely furious in the best sort of way. Frustrated to the max as you teased him mercilessly, only spending meere fleeting moments at the spots which needed the most attention.

Then he snapped, taking you by surprise and using his hand that was still tangled in your hair to hold you still while he shoved his cock in your mouth. You tried to gasp but it merely came out as a small strangled whimper that was cut off as his length reached that back of your throat. You moved your hands to the sides of his hips once again, bracing yourself as he slowly pulled his member out of your mouth, most likely winding up for another thrust. He propelled his hips forward once again, stuffing not nearly all of his cock into your mouth, as his tip grazed the back of your throat. The feeling of him completely filling your mouth had you livid, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you moaned, the vibrations reverberating onto his appendage which drew a salacious moan from his plush parted pink lips.

“Fuck, your mouth feels like heaven.” he moaned out, then he started to fuck your face, tears pooling in your eyes while his dick basically hit the back of your throat with every harsh stroke of his hips as he gripped on your hair tighter. After one particularly hard thrust, he held his length down your throat as tears rolled down your cheeks and you gagged around him. He took his cock out of your mouth, to which you gasped, swallowing the spit that pooled in your mouth with an aroused groan.

“Tastes so good.” you mumbled, not possibly being able to get enough as he shoved his cock back into your mouth and fucked your throat relentlessly. The tension building in you was too much to bear and your need to cum only heightened as his actions resumed. You arched your back slightly, pushing your clothed clit into the black leather cushions of the couch as you gyrated into it slowly, praying he wouldn’t notice and would be too invested in fucking your throat to realize.

You were wrong. He noticed immediately.

He halted all movements, taking his cock from your throat and grabbing your neck harshly, to which you gasped, whimpering as he pulled you up to stand in front of him, cock slapping the front of your body as you stared at his face in anticipation of his actions. You could imagine what you looked like right now swollen glossy lips, and tear stains running down your face because you didn’t bother to wear your waterproof mascara. You never needed it any other time so you figured why would you need it now. Oh how wrong you were.

“Dirty little dove, trying to get off on the couch because you want me that bad?” he rasped, nearing closer to your face with each word and you nodded frantically, basically begging him to do something, anything. “Words” he barked, drawing a cry from your lips as you thought of what to say.

“I want your cock, please sir.” you begged, before he groaned hungrily and captured your lips in a ravenous kiss, taking you by surprise. No one had ever kissed you after they’d fucked your throat before so why would he do it. You didn’t dwell on that thought for too long before melting into his touch and wrapping your arms around his neck. Jungkook took his free hand, trailing it around your body to unclasp the back of your bra, your eyes going wide at the skillful ease of his fingers. He snatched the white lace clothing off of your frame, tossing it to the other side of the room and reaching back up to cup one of your soft breasts in his hand, flicking the nipple with his index finger and making you sigh satisfactorily into his mouth. He leaned forward, taking you with him as he lowered both of you back onto the couch, settling himself between your newly opened legs and never breaking the kiss. He unlatched his hand from your neck, trailing it down your body as the other hand continued to knead your breast skillfully. His burning touch slowly ventured further and further down your abdomen until he reached the band of your panties and abruptly tore the thin while lace from your body to your dismay and discarding it on the floor beside him. You whined sadly, as those had been your favorite pair of underwear but barely had any sort of time to grieve as you felt two rough fingers dip into the wetness of your slit, trailing them up and stopping right over the spot you needed him to be at, pulling a moan from your still swollen lips.

He began kissing a trail down your body, stopping for a mere moment to suck on the pert bud of your free breast before resuming his path of destruction. He moved his hands to settle on the inner sides of your thighs, spreading them apart and sighing as he got a glimpse of the treasure between them. Your eyes widened upon realizing his destination as you scooched away, holding a handful of his tousled black hair in an attempt to grab his attention.

“I-…” you paused, chewing on your bottom lip and thinking of how to word your statement. “i’ve never asked anyone to do that for me before, so y- you don’t have to do it.” you stuttered wearily as the nerves set in. No one’s face had ever been remotely close to your womanhood and the thought of it sent a chill down your spine as you released his hair from your grasp. You wondered what it would even be like. He glanced up at you, eyes dilated as he chuckled, a dark chuckle that made you shiver as he tightened his grip on your thighs, yanking you closer to his face and taking a deep drag of your scent once you were close enough.

“Oh baby I want to” he basically moaned out, licking his lips and glancing down at your glistening slit, the corners of his lips turning up in a hungry smile. You raised an eyebrow, asking yourself ‘why the fuck would he want to do that?’, and ‘isn’t this for my pleasure?’, but all your concerns were answered once he spoke again. “I can’t wait to make you writhe on my tongue little dove” he muttered, causing your cheeks to burn with the intensity of a thousand suns as he talked into your soaking entrance. “... make you beg and cry without even using my cock.” he continued, releasing your left thigh from his grip as he placed a hand on your pubic mound, lowering his thumb and slowly beginning to circle your clit eliciting a loud wail from you. “You think, if I had the power to turn you into a messy little whore all for me just by using my mouth, I wouldn’t use it at any chance I could?” He asked and you whined, nodding as your hips stuttered up in desperate need of more friction. “It’s all about power baby, and I have it all here” he groaned, watching you clench pathetic around nothing.

Then, he finally gave you what you wanted. His hand resumed its grip on your thigh, forcing it away from the other as his thumb was swiftly replaced by his warm tongue licking up and down your wet sex. You moaned, placing your shaky hands on the mounds of your chest, toying with your nipples just to add to the pleasurable sensations he was creating with his tongue. This feeling was unlike any ecstasy you had ever felt and you never wanted it to stop. His tongue slipped deftly into your soaked entrance twisting and turning skillfully as you keened loudly. His warm wet appendage swirling around your wet cavern was the best feeling in the entire world and you knew if he continued ravaging you at this pace, you’d cum in no time. But, you needed this release. You needed to let go of all this pent up sexual frustration you didn’t even know you harbored. You needed to experience your first orgasm in months, if not years, that wasn’t self inflicted and you hoped and prayed with all your heart that it would come soon.

He switched his focus,, moving his tongue up to play with your aching clit and slipping two fingers into your formerly empty hole with a deep groan that reverberated through your core like a powerful vibrator which only intensified your moans and cries of pleasure. You looked down on yourself to see the delicious sight of him devouring your cunt ruthlessly, the sight alone almost tipping you over the edge as you brought your hands up, covering your eyes while you neared completion.

“Jungkook you’re gonna make me cum.” you called out, an exasperated cry leaving your lips when your impending orgasm was painfully ripped away from you as all his motion stopped. You uncovered your eyes, about to stare down when your body jolted, a harsh sting being felt directly on your clit, sending a wave of warmth barreling through your entire body. Then you understood, he slapped you, and you peered down at him, your eyes glassy due to the orgasm that was ripped from your grasp.

“Who? said you can cum.” he deadpanned menacingly, staring up at you through hooded eyes as you leaned your head back tiredly, realizing the error in your words and prepared to beg, just like he said you would.

“Sir” you cried, holding your arms limply over your head as you continued to plead. “Sir please, please make me cum.” you begged mercilessly, a tear of relief sliding down your cheek as he resumed his assault on your core, attacking at a steady pace and retrieving the all too familiar knot that formed in the pit of your stomach. You reached up, grabbing the edge of the couch with an iron grip, your knuckles turning white as your hips began circling on his face, your clit rubbing against his tongue with every movement and venturing you closer to your sweet release.”Please don’t stop sir, oh my god” you whined loudly, fucking his face relentlessly as you chased your high, nearing it more and more with each thrust of your hips until he finally pushed you off the brink of ecstasy, a scream leaving your lips as Jungkook continued his unrelenting attack on your pained pussy.

You rode out your high, writhing and panting before him, his pace never faltering, his fingers never slowing, his tongue never relenting and it soon became too much. The euphoric delirium quickly turned into madness as you barreled down the path into overstimulation. You wailed pathetically, thrashing under his hold as the pleasurable pain consumed your body and you could barely form a coherent sentence but you persevered, scraping all the coherent thoughts you could muster and turning them into tangible words that sat on the tip of your tongue, ready to be spoken. “Sir please, it's too much!” you cried to which Jungkook finally let up, slowing his pace to a halt and sitting back.

“Oh my god that was so fucking hot” he growled before sucking on his glossy fingers and cleaning around his mouth with his skilled tongue as he gazed amusedly upon your exhausted body. But he was nowhere near done with you. This fact made apparent when he stood and wrapped an arm around your hip, lifting your limp body and turning you over with ease, positioning you so your face was pressed into the now warm couch cushion and your ass was raised high into the air before him. His eyes rolled at the view of your swollen cunt bent over for him and he gave it a light smack, eliciting a pained, but tired yelp from you as he chuckled muttering “you’re going to drive me crazy little dove.” under his breath.

He crouched down, coming face to lips with your abused cunt as he wrapped his arms around your bent bottom, lacing his fingers together as they rested at the arch of your back and dragging his nose up the tortured path of your slit, drawing whines and cries of overstimulation from your wiggling frame as you tried to get away from the punishing menace that was his face. “No, please. I can't take anymore, it's too much.” You whimpered, your voice muffled as you leaned your face into the couch tiredly to which he obliged, reluctantly, as he stood, grabbing his neglected dick in hand and pointing it toward your pink entrance.

“I can’t wait to stretch your pretty little pussy ____.” he purred and you moaned at the sound of your name slipping off of his tongue like the creamiest butter. He dragged his tip along your swollen clit, abusing it again for what seemed like the millionth time that day as he covered his girth in your slick, a guttural groan emitting from the back of his throat. Then, abruptly, he sunk into your slippery cavern, barely all the way in but you’d never felt so full in your entire life as he pushed forward slowly, filling you up and providing you with the most delicious stretch you’d ever felt. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you whined, a desperate whine that you could barely register was your own voice as he pushed his length completely inside of you, his head falling back and your name, rolling off of his tongue once again.

After barely giving you time to adjust to his alarming size, he reeled his hips back before slamming into you again, and again, and again, over and over again until he was fucking you at an unrelenting speed you barely knew was possible to achieve. Suffering from the overwhelming pleasure he forced you to endure, you shut your eyes tight, crying out in strangled indulgence as you grasped onto the fluffy throw blanket strewn lazily over the couch in front of you. You relished in the sting of his girth, staring ahead blankly with glassy eyes as he rammed into you with a punishing speed and black mascara filled tears streamed down your cheeks.

You knew you were about to cum soon, again, only due to the all too familiar feeling accumulating in the pit of your belly. Jungkook reached down, placing a hand on your shoulder blade and pressing your chest further into the couch while he drilled into you, moaning and cursing at the feeling of you flexing deliciously around his cock. He felt you were close, so he moved his hand, snaking it around your waist and trailing his other hand to assume its position around your neck, hoisting you up so your back was arched against his abdomen and you had no choice but to stare up at him as he talked down on you, never slowing the snapping of his hips for a wavering moment.

“You’ve never been fucked this good have you?” he teased through clenched teeth as he leaned down, sucking and marking all over the expanse of your neck with grunts and growls of pleasure. You were way too fucked out to even think about the words to form a coherent sentence, barely being able to form whimpered versions of ‘mhm’ after he questioned you but he was having none of that. He unraveled his hand from your waist, tightening his grip on your throat and landing a hard slap to your left asscheek, drawing a shrill shriek from the depths of your throat as he warned in your ear. “Words little dove” he slapped you again, “how many times do I have to fucking warn you.” he concluded, landing another harsh smack to your abused flesh as you whimpered.

“You’re the best I’ve ever had, I’m such a slut for you sir.” You sobbed out, “please let me cum, please fuck” you whined, drawing out your words and you reached back, tangling both hands in his unruly mop of hair as he split you open, moaning directly in your ear which in itself, was a thing that could make you cum on the spot.

“Cum then.” He said obviously, as if it was the most simple response, only it was this simple command that shoved you off the precipice of ecstasy for a second time. The feeling that bloomed deep in your stomach soon blossomed into a full blown orgasm that racked through your body quickly, leaving nothing but white hot pleasure in its wake as your legs trembled viciously, with one last loud cry of Jungkook’s name. But, he still did not falter, his pace quickening as he neared his own climax, the speed both too much and not nearly enough at the same time. You reached back, attempting to push him and escape the all consuming pleasure torturing your body like a blazing fire but your hands were caught quickly by Jungkook’s hands which crossed them tightly and held them behind your back, resuming his attack.

You shook your head, letting it hang as your tears fell freely onto the couch before you, his moans and groans of ecstasy increasing in volume and frequency as he neared his own climax, his hips faltering in their pace for the first time in a while as he worked to his own release. In what seemed like an instant, he released the most beautiful, salacious, strangled moan you had ever heard, pulling himself out of your soaked cunt, and painting the surface of your ass with his white hot ropes of cum. He finally let you go after a moment, watching as you fell limply to the couch, laying face down, panting exhaustively, your arms still crossed limply behind your back as he smirked down at your fucked out frame. He left you alone for just a bit, coming back but a few moments later before you felt the sore skin of your asscheeks being wiped off with what felt like a warm hand towel. You were relieved he had the respect to clean his mess, it made you respect him just a little bit more as a person but you were way too tired to dwell on the subject any longer.

“You did so good for me little dove” he cooed, his voice softer than you’d ever heard it as he placed a sweet chaste kiss on your lower back, caressing his hand up the side of your body. A simple touch that lacked any sort of sexual aspects, it felt comforting and you sighed, leaning further into the soft couch as you heard him begin to put his clothing on. You felt a pang of distress, seeing as you were more of a fuck and cuddle kind of girl, but you really hadn’t expected him to stay so why’d you feel the need to ask him to. Pushing the feeling deep inside your gut, you sighed deeply as he walked in front of you to bend forward and grab his gun that laid discarded on the opposite side of your couch, also grabbing the throw blanket beside it and tossing it over your naked frame before thinking about something. “So,” he started, tucking his gun in the back of his pants and humming, “I’m thinking that was worth about, hmm 50k” he started. You vaguely understood what he was saying and knew you’d flip out once you were conscious enough to truly comprehend his words. “I’ll keep in touch.” He said, pulling his shirt down and smiling deviously at you as you uttered a hoarse ‘huh?’ To which he answered simply, “if I wanna come collect some more money” and he spun on his heels, opening your door and sauntering out of the threshold.

When he got into the hallway, Jungkook burst into a wide smile, satisfied with the encounter he made today. He entered this agreement fully prepared to either fuck you once and take the money you’d earned back or just fuck you and kill you, but once he’d had a taste, he was insatiable. You were flawless, your compliance was impeccable. The way you obeyed him, begged for him, the way you tasted, the way you felt, the way you looked. There was no way he could ever get enough and is probably the reason he kept overstimulating you like a frat boy with a bruised ego. There was no way he was gonna just let go of an absolute gem like you, so he made his excuse, a plan. Everytime you fuck him, you pay back a portion of the money. He was so tempted to tell you this session was only worth $100 just as an excuse to come back over and over and over until he had his fill, but he kept his composure, giving you hope that you’d ever be free of his grasp. Jungkook for once was extremely ecstatic, elated, excited to ruin you even more than he already had and he was dead set on making you want him just as much as he craved you no matter what it took. Though he was pretty sure you already did.

#bts #bts smut #bts fic #jeon jungguk #jungkook #jungkook smut #jungkook fic #oneshot #mafia!bts #mafia!jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #bts angst #mafia au #GUNPLAYHAHAHA #IM SUPER EFFED UP #this took sooooo long

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hollyhomburg · 2 years ago

Note

Hi! First of all, I’d like to apologize for my previous ask. Since you didn’t reply to it, I’m assuming I offended you or made you uncomfortable with it. That was not my intention at all but I’m still really sorry for it. I only came across your works recently and I just fell in love with all your work, especially the ones involving hybrids and werewolves as anything involving them are my favorite types to read. I was so glad to have found your stories cause they are honestly so well-written. The universe you created in each story amazes me. You incorporated realistic themes and serious topics so well yet you are still able to make it fluffy and smutty. You were able to make unique and lovable characters with interesting personalities, i just love it 😍 I’m almost done reading the rest of your series before I dive into BILY. I’m really excited to read it cause you and the other readers seem to just love discussing it and you seem to love it so much. I usually don’t read angst but I really want to read it cause you have this talent of writing angst yet still being able to mix in fluff to ease all the pain 😂 i really wanted to react to your other stories and share to you what i loved about them but idk if I should comment or do it in ask form, still confused on how it works in tumblr cause I noticed authors have different preferences. Also, idk if you’ll like that cause I tend to ramble, as you can see. I just really want to say that you are a really talented writer. Thank you for sharing your talent with us. Again, I apologize if my previous ask was rude. I hope you can reply to this just so I know if what I did was really wrong cause I really don’t want you to hate me for being stupid and insensitive to your feelings. I hope you and your loved ones are okay. Please don’t overwork yourself and take care always ☺️

ahhhh don't worry too much if i don't respond to asks or comments! i do the best that i can and give as much as i can to you guys- but unfortunately life gets in the way sometimes and thats just how it is, sometimes its just hard to answer such well thought out comments when my brain just goes "ahhh this ask made me happy!" and thats it 💀

Bily is probably my crowning jewel so maybe it's best that you've saved the best for last <3 i think it's definitely closer to hurt/comfort as a genre as opposed to straight angst so i think you'll like it!

As far as comments, it has more to do with what kind of response you want from me. if you don't really want me to respond- please don't just reply under a fic ( it's hard especially if they're lengthy). Asks are the next best though i only really get to about 1/3 of them tbh. if my life is busy i might not have time to answer them.

the best way to interact if you want to get a response from me if via a comment added on a reblog. when i get one thats particularly noteworthy i save it to my drafts and go back to respond later! this way they rarely get lost in my notifications. i give priority to commenters when i'm deciding what to answer when it comes to new chapters!

don't worry too much if i don't respond, each reply/ask/comment that i do get i promise you i've seen it. i could spend every single moment responding to people but most of the time i know that my readers would rather i write more in my stories as opposed to answering everyone.

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eureka-its-zico · 3 years ago

Text

Irrevocably Yours Pt. 2

Part 1

Request: hey! can i request a scenario of jungkook being a rich kid who has some of his legs is leg failure , basically can't walk without a cane , And he falls in love with a normal girl , and they end up running away , happy ending plz , also if u can , LIT IT Up with smut ' thank u ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

A/N: So Part 2 is that slow burn build up (with possible cute moments?) and part 3 will be the actual SMUTTY goodness. Hopefully this is something cute and fluffy that is enjoyable and helps progress the story a little more so when a full length next part of a bunch of smut comes it all makes sense. Or idk anymore lol I edited this thing four times and I just really hope you all like it Please enjoy this wordy mess. I wasn’t sure how to properly write it out the end and yeah...I winged it. If it needs to be fixed lmk please!! As always, I hope you all enjoy. Much love, Jenn

P.s. when I wrote this I listened to Lauv’s “I Like Me Better,” and Pink Sweat$ Feat. Kehlani’s “At My Worst,” on repeat like crazy.

Jungkook x Reader

Word count: 15,496 (I know:it’s a hefty boy)

Genre: Fluffy/Smutty, slow burn,

The next day at school you weren’t a hundred percent sure what was going to happen. And sure, maybe you did wake up from a dream replaying that moment in the mud. The ending is a little bit different. This time, dream you didn’t let your chance to kiss him go by. When the opportunity presented itself, and you were both looking at one another like before, you’d leaned forward and kissed him. You weren’t surprised to feel him kissing you back.

You could still feel the ghost of the imagination of him leaning down to press his lips against yours. The way he leaned in; eyes soft with longing as his body leaned deeper in against you. The weight of him pressing you into the mud until you were sure an imprint of this moment would be there forever. This imaginary kiss you’d shared was sweet, chaste, and everything you could’ve hoped for. Deepening at the last second as your alarm blared you back into realty.

It made you want to ring your hands through your hair in frustration.

Your whole walk to school was nothing but foggy images of the dream on repeat. A mixture of yesterday’s events accompanied them with each frame until you weren’t sure which was the actual moments or what your head had created. I mean, you did know he didn’t kiss you, but...the look in his eyes. Maybe Jungkook hadn’t, but there was that moment you swore maybe he felt the painful comedic romance moment of it all too.

All these unanswered what if’s you'd created had built an impossible chasm that seemed to stretch infinitely wider between you in your head. In the end, you were your own bully as your mind stayed up until three that morning playing out every scenario you could think of. Even the ones that ended with you probably reading everything wrong, because what did you know about body language? Or, more specifically, boys built like Jeon Jungkook.

It didn’t matter that you had two tests today and never finished your homework for home period, but what the hell. Nothing like hopelessly daydreaming about the boy who may or may not have flirted with you and harmonized along to songs with a hidden voice of an angel, am I right? And sure, a large part of your night was spent chastising yourself half the time to remind you there was no way in hell Jungkook could feel that way towards you. Even just a little. Your inner monologue of bringing yourself back down to earth, another culprit in the growing list of reasons why none of your assignments were completed.

What can you say? You were a mess.

Your only game plan you’d been able to agree on was just to daydream out the window. Writing out your own hapless love story starring the boy who sat across from you in the home room. With a silent plea to the universe that you weren’t called on to answer any questions.

Your arrival at homeroom was met with barely seconds to spare. The bell rang behind you, and a few other students, as you rushed towards your desk.

“Hurry, hurry to your seats! Or I’ll write you up as late!”

Mr. Choi was all talk. Everyone knew it and his excessive arm movements to rush every body that passed his desk made him look exactly like a conductor. His crazy movements were enough to distract you for a split second from the one person you were desperate to ignore.

“Good morning, class. I hope you are all fully rested and awake for class this morning. Let’s have us open our books to page two hundred and forty-two and continue on with our lesson.”

In unison the sound of backpacks unzipping with students reaching in their backpacks to bring out textbooks filled the class. The only person who didn’t currently have said book was holding his hand up, and seated directly across from you.

“Yes, Jungkook?”

“Seonsaengnim, I’m sorry. I haven’t received my textbooks yet.”

“Ah, that’s alright, Jungkook. You can go ahead and share with Y/N, again.”

You hoped your face wasn’t giving away the panic you felt rising up to match the blush that was streaking across your cheeks. Jungkook’s hand was already on the leg of your desk. His fingers tips grazing across your knee in passing as his hand wrapped around the bar and used it to bring you closer to him. You kept your eyes glued to page two hundred and forty-three and refused to look in his direction. Jungkook seemed to find a way to remedy this; his hand came into view and grabbed hold of the book corner and slid it over to his side. And as if he was the world’s greatest magician, he now had your attention.

Your eyes immediately shoot up to acknowledge his presence, instead of staying on the book. You knew that devilish smirk of his would be there to greet you even before you actually saw it.

“Well, good morning to you too, Y/N.”

His voice practically hummed a tune as he spoke. His eyes heavily searched your face, and you prayed whatever he found wasn’t any lasting signs of rosy cheeks.

“Good morning, Jungkook. I hope you slept well.”

“I slept very well, thank you.”

“That’s good-“

He cut you off fast, his next words a hush of teasing: “Even though some crazy girl tried to smother me in mud yesterday.”

Your world narrowed in on his smug position in his chair, but quickly realized he just wanted your attention. The smile he wore softened around the edges as his eyes tried to look away from you and yet found their way back. You did your best to hide your smile and must have failed miserably for his face noticeably brightened.

“I’m sure if that’s what she was doing - which I doubt - you probably deserved it.”

Jungkook pretended to be wounded and caused you to practically jump out of your seat when his free hand landed on top of yours.

“I can’t believe you think I deserve to be smothered,” he pouted.

You rolled your eyes in a weak attempt to look away from him. Anything to not be swallowed up by how stupidly cute he looked in this exact moment. The fingers that held your pencil lazily tapping on the pages of the math book to bring his focus to something else that wasn’t you.

“We need to pay attention.”

It was the only valuable excuse you could come up with to look away from him. But who were you kidding? You didn’t have to be looking in Jungkook’s direction to be painfully aware that he was there. His own gaze burned straight through you and left a trail of heat everywhere his eyes seemed to land.

Right now, you were aware they were on your lips and stirring every emotion from your dream you tried to suppress. Plus, you weren’t being cute. Unless Jungkook found the sight of you chewing your bottom lip into dust attractive.

It was a terrible nervous habit that seemed to only backfire right this second. You were sure he was ready to make a comment on it. You waited patiently for it to come in between you mindlessly copying equations off the board and the sea of arms flying up to answer whatever it was you’d just written. My gosh, you were trying so damn hard to not pay attention that you were doing nothing but paying attention to him.

Please don’t let him just see I’m doodling.

Mr. Choi was in the middle of showing how to work out a long equation when you decided it was safe to give Jungkook a glance. It was instantaneous how quickly you regretted it.

You jumped back against your seat in a weak attempt to recover some space. You weren’t exactly sure how you’d missed it -missed him- getting so close, but you had. Jungkook’s face was mere inches from yours and it took everything to not show him you weren’t at all bothered.

“Jungkook,” you whispered fiercely. “What.are.you.doing!”

Jungkook ignored your question. His eyes squinting as they looked around the side of your head. The gesture made you increasingly subconscious until you couldn’t keep your hand from going up to brush alongside it.

“What? What is it?”

You were expecting the worst.

“I think I see some mud still stuck inside your ear.”

And like magic your earlier blush reappeared. Your tongue rolled against the bottom of your teeth in a weak attempt to keep yourself from smiling. Unfortunately, you weren’t able to stop it as the urge to give in tugged mercilessly at your lips. The playful glint in his eyes was enough to keep the panic of how incredibly close he still was. Your eyes hopelessly glancing at the pair of lips that plagued your dreams.

Jungkook noticed.

And how did you know this, you might ask?

Jungkook gave it away by the dramatic way his lower lip was drawn in by his teeth. Every movement he made sure was exaggerated and stupidly slow. His eyes watch for your reaction. He didn’t have to wait long; your eyes were glued to them long before his teeth joined the equation. You should’ve felt more embarrassed at your own blunt display - or maybe at his -but, god help you, you weren’t.

You tore your gaze away from him and did your best to pretend whatever part of the lesson you’d missed was interesting. The dirt on your shoes could’ve been more interesting at this moment; anything to keep you from looking back at him.

“I rinsed my hair three times in the shower. Thank you very much.”

“Did you think of me while you were washing yourself clean?”

If what Jungkook was after was seeing your face light up brighter than a tomato he’d succeeded. Your cheeks instantly flushed and felt scolding hot. The only line of defense you could think of to fight the devilish look in his eyes was to give him a smack on his arm. The motion only caused his sinister smile to turn into a full blown grin; a bark of laughter leaving him seconds later.

Jungkook chuckled out an, “Ouch!” His body leaning back, faux wounded, and rays of sunshine pouring out of him in waves.

“I meant when you were getting the mud out of your hair.” His voice carried the singing sweetness of his laughter; airy and light. This boy who you did think of in the shower. All hard edges and softness; sour and sweet. Your very own sour patch kid. “I mean, I thought of you when I tried scrubbing it out from behind my ears.”

Your heart gave a brief jump at his omission. What you wished you would’ve focused on was the fact he’d admitted to thinking of you...in his own shower. But nope! Instead, your mind appeared to focus more on the fact it was while he scrubbed at his ears.

“I scrubbed my ears too.”

Oh. My. God, you inwardly cringed.

Is that really what your magical brain decided to say in return? Jungkook leaned back in, eyes inspecting not just your ear, but your entire space. Recklessly moving in dangerously close, and your heart was ready to beg for mercy. Whether to completely close the space between you or to stop teasing, of which you weren’t sure.

“It appears you didn’t do that good of a job,” he huffed.

A gurgled scream flew into your throat; the sound was utterly ridiculous and Jungkook ate it up. His head flew back in laughter as your hand moved to swat at him again.

The disruption turned the attention of your teacher directly to the two of you, and Mr. Choi was quick to address it.

“Jean Jungkook! Y/L/N, Y/N!”

The both of you rose from your seats in unison. Jungkook’s rise the definition of graceful, while yours in comparison was met with anxiety and your knees colliding with your desk. Your small “Oomph,” of pain sending him into a fit of giggles beside you. The hand you sent in to pinch at his leg only sent him into another fit.

“Y/N!”

Stupid, stupid! Of course he would see.

“Seonsaengnim!”

To appease him, you felt your body respond in a ninety-degree salute. Your face keeping down to stare at your shoes and praying you weren’t about to be sent out of the room.

“Would you mind explaining what Jungkook and you found so interesting that the two of you felt like you didn’t need to be a part of class.”

God, it wasn’t a question. He really wanted you to tell him, and what could you say?

“Oh, he was just asking me if I was in the shower...thinking of him. And he was thinking of me too!”

Which wasn't a lie. Maybe it wasn’t as dirty as he might have intended, but it was enough to make your cheeks flush to life with their usual color these days. Your mind was still racing with an appropriate answer for Mr. Choi. You were taking so long you were ready to blurt out anything he might want to hear.

“Seonsaengnim.” Jungkook gave a respectful bow and lifted his head. His full attention now resting on the impatiently waiting man at the front of the class. “We were discussing the fact that you, respectfully, have written the equation wrong on the board.”

The entire class seized up. A collective air was taken at Jungkook’s bold attempt to correct him. It was awkwardly obvious that he wasn’t happy at the idea of being corrected. However, Jungkook remained unfazed and waited for the right time to speak.

“Is that so?” He snapped. “If it is so wrong, Jeon, then please, come and fix it for me.”

You were sure his order for Jungkook to go to the front would make him back down . No one enjoyed doing class work on the board up front for all to see. But you’d forgotten Jungkook wasn’t like everyone else. He kept his head high and moved to grab his cane; his hand wrapping tightly to its handle. Jungkook stepped out from inside his desk and let his feet carry him forward. He walked with a noticeable lack of a limp and you were willing to bet that strike of pride was costing him.

It wasn’t that you couldn’t believe that Jungkook was able to walk without it. It was just that your memory forced you to recall the pain he was in during the field trip. The flashes of frustration as his eyes threatened to spill over with tears.

Jungkook came to stand beside Mr. Choi. His hand reaching out to take the marker that the older man had held out waiting for him to prove his equation wrong. He plucked it from the older man’s hand and moved the last few inches to stand in front of the board. His eyes scanning the problem quickly. Your breath held tight in your chest as you watched him get permission to grab the eraser. The class transfixed on his every movement.

You wondered how many of the girls in your class focused on him like you were. The same way your eyes ate up every simple movement he made. The notable flex of his back while he stretched to erase the middle and last part of what Mr. Choi had written out.

“You had a good start here, Seonsaengnim.” Jungkook paused to stretch out his hand. Fingers marking underneath the start of the problem. “But you didn’t multiply these after they were divided, and because of this the middle became wrong. With your core of the problem being wrong the solution was never able to end in its final conclusion.”

With every word, Jungkook’s voice became more self-assured. His presence enveloping the room and demanding the attention he’d already received without question. Mr. Choi watched on with his arms crossed; index finger hugging his mouth in concentration as he watched Jungkook work. From the back of the class, you could see students writing down the new formula. Some of them realized the obvious error Mr. Choi had made.

Jungkook looked at the problem over again on repeat. If it’d been you, you would have left it where it was knowing you’d done what no one else did. But Jungkook wanted to know, for himself, that it was correct.

Finally, he stepped back from the whiteboard and handed the marker back to Mr. Choi. Who looked measurably impressed with him. His index finger he’d used for thinking now covered up a timid smile before he dropped it to grab a hold of the marker.

“Go ahead and have a seat, Jungkook.”

Jungkook gave him a passing bow as he made his way back towards the back of the class. Back to you. It took everything you had not to notice how everyone’s view of him seemed to change. Even the honor students; the ones bound for scholarship glory to prestigious colleges now seemed to take new interest in him.

You’d heard stories about Jungkook, like everyone else did. The Boy Wonder. The boy who seemed unfairly good at everything. Before you’d ever met him, a part of you believed there wasn’t a way the universe would seriously do that. And yet, as he moved to sit back down beside you, you suddenly felt the overwhelming sensation of being below average. Your subconscious rose up to stop whatever sunlight you’d felt at his earlier words, and crushed it until it began to dim. All but snuffing it out.

Jungkook fell back into the seat at his desk riding the high of confidence he’d gained from proving he’d know how to fix the answer. Not just know it; teach it. The air around him completely changed. He was the sun and the rest of you were becoming helplessly lost in his orbit. From the backwards glances of the others around you, you were pretty sure they weren’t going to mind one bit.

Either Jungkook was honestly oblivious to all the attention or he just didn’t care. He practically beamed as he leaned himself closer to you completely unaware at how breathless he made you. That smile you’d admired during your field trip showed itself beaming and bright. He was so damn pleased with himself his eyes sparked with joy and you wish you could’ve pouted. Maybe found the strength not to care or to wonder if he could see how he affected you.

You wanted to pout and be in your own bubble, damn it.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. I don’t think he’ll bother us again.”

Us.

Those butterflies you’d sworn to yourself you were not feeling towards him began to come to life. Or were they butterflies? You weren’t sure what to call the feeling Jungkook gave you.

Sure, Jungkook made your heart thunder in your chest like a caged animal. And yea, maybe you swore to yourself there was an attraction there that you couldn’t explain, but that was just your dopamine talking. That didn’t mean the two of you were soulmates or the universe decided to bring you both together by a mess of unseen choices.

But...when Jungkook looked at you this way it was hard to tell your thundering heart anything else.

The two of you continued to look at one another. A heartbeat of time passing between you with Jungkook waiting for your reply. You watched the edges of his smile start to wilt as realization set in that you weren’t planning to reply. No smile or teasing remark was headed his way, and just as fast as he noticed it, determination swiftly replaced the light weighted joy he’d shown moments earlier.

“Hey, you don’t have to worry. I’m positive he will leave us alone the rest of the class. I promise.”

God, why did he have to make things so difficult? When Jungkook spoke the words, “I promise,” they’d been so earnest. He meant them. Here he was trying to turn the tables and be your knight, instead of you being his. It would have worked, but what he didn’t know was that you weren’t worried about Mr. Choi. Not really.

No one could tear you down further than you were able to do to yourself.

He was still waiting for the answer that you would never give. You turned to face forward in your chair and tried to forget the ripple of sadness that moved over his face. The cost of your stubbornness suddenly felt too high. No matter how it made you feel though, you refused to look over in his direction.

An awkward chasm had built between the two of you. Mostly, well, obviously it was all because of you. You figured Jungkook would eventually stop looking at you. You prayed he would stop. Every time he did it your body became painfully aware of his gaze, and the longing it held for you to acknowledge him. And every time you remained facing front. You no longer could pretend to focus, however, and that seemed to be all the signs Jungkook needed to know you were in some way paying attention.

Your notebook that’d been left unattended on the desk became his private art museum. The doodles started off silly and slowly morphed into small faces and objects that held impressive detail. You tried your best to ignore it; his arm practically took up most of the space on your desk. The angle forced him to shoulder into your space to the point that if you did finally turn to look at him you’d run inches away from his cheek.

You were doing your best to pay attention to whatever your teacher was doing at the front. Your eyes watched as a wave of hands went up to answer questions you’d never heard. Yours kept sliding back down to the latest doodle he was making. The latest one he was working on had forced Jungkook to move further inland on your notepad. His forearm getting dangerously close to having to rest in your lap.

It continued like this the remainder of class. For all the effort you’d put in the last half hour of pretending he wasn’t there, Jungkook shattered it within seconds.

He’d repositioned himself with each new doodle he started. His shoulder wedged itself against yours and his forearm had completely taken up what little space was left on your desk. You were trying very hard to not pay attention to how said forearm was dangerously close to your chest. There was no hiding the redness of your cheeks.

Without thinking, you whipped your head to look at him and almost yelled. You knew he was close, but nothing prepared you for this.

“Excuse me,” you whispered, voice incredulous.

Jungkook turned to look at you and...was he pouting? His eyes played up on the childish quality as he turned to you and batted his eyes.

“Can I help you?”

“Ugh, can I help you? Do you need paper or something?”

“I have paper right here. Thanks.”

Jungkook patted the notepad with the end of his pen. Satisfied with his answer he turned his attention back to his latest artistic endeavor.

“You know this is my desk. Right?”

“I like to think of it more like our desk. Sharing a space like we shared music.”

“Ya, Jungkook. You realize you blackmailed me into using my ipod.”

Jungkook feigned shock. His mouth dropping open and his eyes brows going too high up into his hairline. The entire scene was exaggerated and ridiculous. The scene forced you to roll your lips against your teeth to keep from smiling. The effort it took to hide your grin wasn’t unnoticed by Jungkook, and you couldn’t help but wonder if that’d been his goal all along.

“Blackmail sounds so crass. I like to think of it as bargaining.”

“So we agree it’s called blackmail, then.”

The theatrics of his face dropped into a serious stare that left his face completely blank. Void of all emotion except the annoyance that drew a heavy frown from his face. It was stupidly cute and this time you did allow yourself to smile. Your fingers reached out to grab one of his puffed out cheeks and gave it a sweet pinch, like a grandmother, and cooed in his direction.

“Oooooh Jungkookie, don’t frown. We’ve all gotta be wrong sometimes.”

He playfully nipped at your hand to make you snatch it away. It took everything in you not to make a sound at his sudden movement. Your mouth hung open in an awkward smile-shout as you brought your handle against your chest.

“I think you’re misinterpreting the facts here. Maybe you hit your head on a small pebble or something when you fell in the mud.”

“You mean when you pulled me in.”

He shrugged and replied nonchalantly, “I don’t think I recall any force being used yesterday. You just fell on my chest trying to take advantage of me in my time of need.”

Now it was your turn to look deadpanned in his direction. Jungkook didn’t try to hide his wicked smile, however, and the cage of butterflies that were housed in your gut were released all over again.

“Your appa must be a lawyer. It’d explain why you’re so good at bullshitting.”

“CEO, actually. But I would say you’re close. They are also full of shit.”

You weren’t sure what to say to this omission about his father. Underneath the sarcasm felt like a heavy chasm that spoke of the death of a relationship. Your curiosity threatened to get the best of you, but you decided to just throw it away. Filing it away inside a little folder you’d made for little known facts about him.

The bell rang and the mass of bodies in class all began to rise from their seats. All of them eager to rush from the classroom and do whatever plans they’d made to enjoy their little bit of freedom. You were reaching for your bookbag when Jungkook’s hand was just there. A part of you worried he’d decided to play a game of keep away, or something that fit his playful mood, Instead, he placed it down on the desk.

“Oh, thank you, Jungkook.”

God. Why were you staring? Why was he staring?

The room was still filled with the small display of chaotic teenage energy. Most of them had already filed out of the classroom, while some were still putting things away. Honor students were arguing with the teacher about markings he’d left on papers. Small groups of friends chatting happily as they moved in tight clusters through the door. So much was going on around you, and yet the only person you were aware of was him.

“You’re welcome. Have a good lunch, Y/N.”

The playful air that’d been around him had completely disappeared. This boy who stood before you now was more reminiscent of when you’d first met than the boy you’d grown to like. What had made him grow so distant?

“You too, Kookie.”

It slipped out. You couldn’t stop yourself. He’d already started to walk away in his retreat. As soon as his pet name you’d given him hit his ears he completely stopped moving. His head whipped around to glance at you with that devilish grin raised high on his cheeks.

“Kookie? Are you calling me a snack?”

If your eyes could’ve gotten any wider, they would’ve left your skull. The embarrassment was hot on your cheeks and you knew Jungkook would tease you without mercy for the slip up. By the look in his eyes you could tell he was never going to let this go. Not ever. He would be too happy to remind you of this until the day you died. Or until graduation. Whichever came first.

This time you scooped up your bookbag and snatched your book off the desk clutching them to your chest. In your haste to grab them and go, your knee collided with the edge of the desk, but you’d worry about that possible bruise later. You just needed to flee before Jungkook got any closer.

“No, no. It was an accident.”

“You called me a snack by accident?”

You were backing up towards the safety of the open hallway. Your shoulders shrugging too high and your laugh too high-pitched in your attempt to play it cool.

“No snack nicknames here. It was just a slip of the tongue. I must just be hungry, ya know.”

“Are you hungry for me?”

Oh, he was intolerable sometimes. It didn’t matter how flustered he made you. A part of you knew his endless teasing was growing on you. You liked it, and the sane part of you wondered if you’d gone crazy.

“Ya, Jungkook-”

“I think you mean, Kookie,” he cut in.

Jungkook held a single finger up to silence you. He’d stopped moving towards you and let out a laugh as you tried to swat his hand down. He looked so much happier than he did moments ago. That alone made his teasing at your expense worth it.

“No I mean, Jungkook. It’s the name your parents gave you.” You stated, proud that your voice sounded more stable than you felt. “I’m gonna go eat my lunch now. You should do the same and I’ll...see you later.”

You waited for him to argue. To continue to make comments in passing to keep your face rosy and flushed. He surprised you by just standing there in silence. His smile wide on his face and eyes looking at you like you’d held the moon. A look you weren’t used to and made you unsure how to respond.

You started to walk back towards the door and found yourself disappointed when he didn’t follow. You sent him an awkward wave as your arms still held onto your things from your desk. Jungkook showed his amusement by giving you a wave in return.

“See you later, Y/N.”

At his words you turned on your heel and headed out towards the courtyard. No longer eager to eat your lunch that you’d packed. Your mind replayed his words and knew, without a doubt, he would keep his word.

—————-

Lunch went by as quickly as it came. Instead of eating your lunch with friends, you’d opted for sulking in the auditorium. Absentmindedly taking small bits off your food as you considered what had happened between Jungkook and you.

There was flirting there. You may be a little delusional, but you weren’t delusional about this. It was obvious to anyone who witnessed it and yet you tried to deny its existence at every turn. Of course, you knew why.

It just didn’t make logical sense. You were two opposites that shouldn’t be in the least bit interested in the other. Well, that didn’t really seem correct when it came to Jungkook. He was attractive to everyone and probably even inanimate objects. But you...you just couldn’t see yourself that way. You’d only ever had one relationship in your life and it had been short-lived and in the third grade.

Throwing what little was left of your sandwich back inside it’s little brown coffin, you removed yourself from your spot. A huff left you as you reached out to pick up your mess and started to hop back down the steps one-by-one.

You weren’t sure what walking around was going to do. For the hundredth time since this day started, you were lost in your own head. The only thing you knew for certain was that you’d hoped to run into him again. A thought came to you that maybe, just this day, he’d shown up in the school's cafeteria.

You could think of a million excuses for why you’d need to go into the cafeteria and it wouldn’t be weird. Just the thought of not coming off weird, while most certainly being weird, made you beam at your own creativity.

You’d reached the last step and we’re crossing the field when you noticed, on the other side, the very boy you were looking for. He was alone and sitting under the shade of the only tree next to the amphitheater. His back against the bark and a knee drawn up to give his notepad a place to perch. Whatever he was writing, drawing, or formulating held his interest and refused to let him look up.

All your previous bravado deflated in a second. It would be harder to deny you weren’t actively seeking him out if you went to him now. But, who said that you wanted too?

Grabbing the strap of your book bag tight, you started back on your mission. Your legs made quick work across the field. It wasn’t until there was only a few feet left between you that he looked up. His brow still furrowed in tight creases of concentration as he decided if you were a friend or foe. Your feet almost tripped over themselves when he smiled at you.

“Y/N!” He called happily. “What brings you over here?”

“I came looking for my snack.”

The surprise on his face made your bold choice of a response worth it. Jungkook, being who he was, quickly recovered and set his notebook and pencil down beside him. He placed his arms casually on his propped up leg and leaned forward as if he was about to tell you a secret.

“Well, you found me. Why did you come looking for me? Really.”

You tried to think quickly of what to say. The idea of telling him the truth, that you’d just wanted to see him, felt painfully honest and might press him to ask for you to explain. How could you explain that in the short time you’d met him he was both the most interesting and infuriating man you’d ever met. But he was also the most beautiful, and had a delicate softness under his hard exterior that you were growing to love. He was basically the perfect description of the onion from Shrek.

An idea clicked in your head and your hands quickly moved inside your bag and produced another brown bag.

“I wanted to come see if you’d eaten. I had some spare kimchi rice ball’s my omma made.”

You extended the bag out to him. Your eyes locked together as you waited for him to either accept it or deny it. Jungkook surprised you by leaning forward and taking it gently from you. It took some effort, but he crossed his legs -his bad one in an awkward position - and plopped the bag down between his legs.

You moved to sit beside him in the grass and took your book bag off your shoulder and into your lap. You watched as he moved to open the bag and peered cautiously inside.

“It’s not a bomb,” you chided.

“I never know with you.”

You rolled your eyes with a smile spreading like wildfire across your lips. Jungkook was so charismatic it felt inevitable and fighting against it was futile. He took a large bite of the rice ball and practically swooned. His eyes had fallen shut and a ridiculous chanting of endless “Mhm’s” had started rising up around you.

“Should I leave you two alone?”

Jungkook’s eyes snapped open and for a moment you were worried maybe you did pull him out of some weird food ritual. His eyes were blank and then, all at once, he was back to being his usual animated self. The hand that held the rice ball shaking in your direction before shoving what was left inside his mouth.

“This is unbelievably delicious.” He mumbled around his food. “You said your omma made these?”

“Yup!”

You’d said it in English just to dramatically pop the P at the end. Extending out your own kind of dramatics to match Jungkook’s. You leaned your hands back into the grass and noticed Jungkook watch your every move as you did.

“Is your omma married?”

Your face fell into a deadpan stare as you replied, “Seriously? Of course her and my appa are still married, you creep.”

“If you can cook like your omma, Y/N I’m willing to lend you my amazing tutoring services. All for the low price of making things as delicious as this.”

He was already mid-way through shoving the second rice ball in his mouth. His head tilted back to drop it down. A piece of rice must have dislodged itself from its balled shape, because he erupted in a coughing fit. You couldn’t help but laugh as you handed him your water.

“I think I’ll steer clear of rice treats. Just to make sure you don’t kill yourself.”

Jungkook was about to lift the bottle up to his lips and stopped. His eyes falling on you with a playful glare. You held your hands up in mock surrender as you leaned forward. Your hands clap together to get pieces of grass and soil from your hands.

While he drank the water you’d offered up the two of you fell into companionable silence. You didn’t mind waiting and Jungkook was happy that you did. When he’d finished with the bottle, he set it down beside him. His hand moving like a flopping fish in your direction to make you give him something that you’d had no idea he’d asked for.

“Come on. Let’s see your math homework.”

“For what?”

“To start your tutoring. Duh.”

You hated how cute he’d made the word sound. The way his lips smiled around it and left him beaming at you like a little kid on Christmas.

“Can we pass? We just left the class and I hate math. A lot.”

Jungkook tsked you but didn’t look disappointed.

“You can’t get better at something if you give up on it. Luckily for you, you’ve got the best person in the subject to tutor you.”

“For a fee,” you pointed out.

“All the best things come with a price. I’m most definitely one of them. Now. Book.”

His hand movements were more controlled now. His fingers simply waved once -twice- for you to hurry it up and place what he’d asked in his hand. You really didn’t want any part of this. The thought was sweet, but when you said you hated math you meant it. So yeah, maybe you were grumbling a little as you reached inside your book bag and taking a little longer than was necessary to hand it over.

Jungkook took it from you in one smooth motion and had it open to the spot previously in class. All your homework problems you’d left unfinished glaring against the white of the page. His eyes were already scanning over what little problems you’d written down. A clicking noise from his closed mouth reminding you why exactly you hadn’t finished more of it. The reason was sitting right in front of you.

His hand flicked back out and he held it open. His eyes never lifted off the page as he demanded, “Pencil.”

“What the heck? Why am I supplying everything.”

“Cause I’m supplying myself,” he shot back. His hands taking the pencil you handed over to him. “Plus, I also can’t seem to find any in my bag.”

“You didn’t even look.”

Jungkook gave a graceful shrug. His attention was fully engrossed in the problems. You weren’t ready for how cute he looked. How adorable those concentration creases in his forehead made him look, even deadly serious, with his fingers tapping the pencil absentmindedly on the paper. When he figured out what was missing from the equation he quickly erased and reconfigured everything on the page.

You were staring intently at him, both because his angle’s were ridiculously handsome but also, the way the sun fell down on him here, peaking through the trees, felt like magic. It was hard to believe the universe was more than just molecules and that luck was thrown out randomly. If it was, maybe you’d caught some.

Your thoughts were running wild and your concentration was no longer in the safe zone. Maybe that’s why when he finally looked up from the notebook and found you staring he’d smiled. Not his teasing one. Or the condescending either. This smile was soft like a secret, and directed only at you. \

“See something you like?”

His voice was gentle in his playfulness. As if he wanted to take the cautionary approach in case you were spooked.

“Maybe I do.”

A smile of your own spread to match his and Jungkook wasn’t surprised. He was just happy, and it was a lovely sight to see. He looked away from you with his hand moving up to smooth out the hair on the back of his neck. He flicked the pencil down on the notebook and brought it forward for you to see.

“Let’s get back to this. I’ll be honest with you. It’s pretty bad. You missed a whole line on the third problem that left you with an incomplete answer. Not to mention,” he lifted up the notebook and motioned towards the whole page, “Where is all the rest of the homework?”

Jungkook’s voice was filled with the beginnings of laughter. Not specifically towards you, but just the blatant fact you did not care. You gave him your best nonchalant shrug. In reality, you did care. It bothered you it wasn’t finished.

Your fingers were digging in the grass and ripping some of it up and throwing it out into the field.

“I had a hard time concentrating last night. Plus, if I’m being honest math has always been the hardest subject for me.”

“And that is why I’m going to help you.”

“For a fee,” you reminded him.

“I’ll teach you the easiest way I know how to do these and I promise you, you’ll be flying through these problems in no time.”

The sincerity in his voice was evident. Jungkook really believed it and he wanted you to believe it too. You just couldn’t understand why and you found yourself speaking your mind.

“Why are you wanting to help me?”

It was his turn to shrug his shoulders. His face went blank as he looked at you one last time before he looked away. Whatever he was looking at he wasn’t really seeing. He just needed someplace else to look than the person he was talking to you. You did it plenty of times yourself.

Whatever he’d decided on to say had caused his shoulders to square. Determined that whatever he needed to say he would make sure it meant something.

“I like spending time with you.”

The smile you’d worn completely shattered as you stared at him. The butterflies rushed up and up until they trapped themselves in your throat. Jungkook’s admission was basically three words dropped away from just saying he liked you.

This surprising admission should’ve been enough to make yourself not care who you saw walking. Or care when he stopped, his small mob with him, and start gesturing at his imaginary watch. His fingers rubbing together for money owed.

It was worse when Jungkook looked back and took notice. Even worse when he looked back at you with questions swirling in his eyes.

“Everything okay?”

Your eyes looked down to the safety of your hands. The way they were helplessly fidgeting back in the grass and tearing it apart like a miniature tantrum was brewing inside you. You hated that after all this time, you let Lee Kwon upset you by making you feel embarrassed about your dad. That he felt the need to tell everyone the business deal between his father and yours. How every time he told it he’d turned him more and more into a villain of his own misfortune.

Without a reason why you took back your notebook from Jungkook and shoved it inside your bag. You were ready to leave. You didn’t want to explain, but you knew Jungkook wouldn’t let you just leave without one.

He reached out and his hand gently wrapped around your wrist to stop you. There was no force. Nothing that hinted that he would keep you there if you didn’t want to be kept. Looking at him felt harder. His genuine worry almost threatened to let the tears from your frustration spill forward.

“Hey, Y/N, what’s wrong?”

You shook your head. Your vision dragging away from him and back to the retreating back of the sociopath, Lee Kwon.

You didn’t try to shake him off. You actually felt comforted by his worrisome touch. The way he leaned in closer as if he would pull you into his arms at any moment. As much as you wanted that to happen, you knew it wouldn’t happen. A deep sigh had built up in your chest and you released it while you looked back at him.

“Look. Eventually, I know you’re going to hear about it: my dad, I mean.”

“That’s kind of odd high school kids would talk about someone’s appa.”

“You and me both,” you agreed. “But Kwon’s dad is a banker who doesn’t believe in client confidentiality. So he tells his son about his day over dinner and-“

“And he decides to bring it to school to make your life miserable,” Jungkook finished for you.

He understood and didn’t need you to simplify it anymore. His hand left your arm and you suddenly found yourself missing his comforting touch. It was still there, that comfort, in the way his eyes softened and he leaned in intent to listen to whatever you needed to get off your chest. You appreciated his attention, but also hated it at the same time.

“What’s your Appa’s thing?”

God. He did understand. Maybe just a little too well for your liking.

“Gambling. It started when I was in the seventh grade. At first it wasn’t anything too crazy. He’d always been able to even it out. But then he became obsessed with the idea of winning big. Kept betting on things we couldn’t afford to lose. Eventually, he bet too high and ended up losing the business he and my mom built together and our house. They had to pay the bank back.”

“A bank this dude’s Appa works at.”

“Correct. My Appa...he isn’t a bad man. He’s paid his debt and hasn’t gambled since. What good is it for me or anyone else to make him feel bad for the rest of his life?”

“I don’t get it. Why does that have to do with you, though?”

You’d wondered the same exact thing half of your adolescent life. You shrugged and looked at Jungkook wondering if maybe he’d be able to make sense of it better than you could.

“Twelve year old boys enjoy making up stories. First it was that we became so poor we lived with pigs. That's why I smelled.”

You put air quotations around smelled and Jungkook practically howled with laughter. You tried your best to show no emotion, but could feel the corner of your lips threatening to curl into a smile.

“He probably said it because you didn’t know how to wash back then and, judging from earlier, I still don’t think you do.”

You moved to playfully shove at his shoulder. A scoff of laughter leaving you even though you told yourself you wouldn’t. Jungkook was waiting for you to make a move and when you did he easily grabbed a hold of you. The feeling of intimacy, just like yesterday in the mud, was swimming back to the surface.

Your eyes looked up into his with your laughter being met with a wide grin. The way he was looking at you now made you believe in fairytales and left your lips aching to be kissed.

Before either of you could decide what to do next, the bell for the end of lunch sounded. You could hear it going off all around you, but still the two of you stayed holding each other. Your bodies close enough that if he wanted to make a move all Jungkook needed was to lean down. To say your heart dropped a little when he moved away was an understatement.

You focused on getting up from the grass. Your hands patting down your uniform as you struggle to find something not so awkward to say. You wanted to sound confident. You wanted to sound like you weren’t affected by him at all.

“Well, I’ll see you around.”

God, you sounded awkward. You turned to start heading to your next period. You closed your eyes tight and mouthed, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” You’d gotten a few feet away when you heard him call to you.

You turned to look back at him and found him still standing under the tree. His hands in his pockets and his eyes solely on you.

“Would you let me walk you home?”

Did he really have to ask? You’d let him walk you to the edge of a volcano. You didn’t say that, however. You wanted to play it cool, but on the inside you were screaming.

“I’d like that.”

When you turned back around to make your way to class, the memory of how his face had brightened at your reply, stayed with you. You couldn’t wait for the day to end.

_________

True to his word Jungkook waited for you after school. You couldn’t help looking for him over the countless shoulders as you walked with the sea of students towards the entrance. The hole in the pit of your stomach opened back up from the underlying dreadful thought. That he wouldn't show up. You’d be left standing there waiting for him forever. But Jungkook continued to prove your pessimism wrong.

The closer you got to the school’s gate, you were able to spot him instantly. He was leaning coolly against the gate. His bag at his feet and his cane positioned strategically out of view. If anyone just casually walked up, they would’ve never been able to tell he’d needed one. Maybe that was why he’d done it.

He looked to be searching for someone in every face that passed him. It came to an end the minute his roaming eyes found you. No longer did he appear cool and composed. His body became animated with what you could only explain as a giddiness at your oncoming presence.

By the time you reached him, Jungkook was wearing his backpack on his shoulder and his cane in his hand. He was standing and waiting for you. The happiness at being next to you was intoxicating and you could only hope you looked the same.

“It felt like I was waiting forever,” he admitted.

The two of you started in sync out the gate and turned left onto the main road.

“It felt like an eternity just to get to you. I have Mrs. Chun’s chemistry class for the last period. The classroom is pretty far.”

“Mhm, like on a planet far far away.”

Your eyes rolled up to look at him. The affection you found in the warmth of his eyes was startling, but not a surprise.

Your mom used to tell you to always be careful with smiling. It caused laugh lines. It helped make crows feet. That smiling was a woman’s secret enemy she never knew about when it came to aging. She told you over and over to be careful who or what you wasted smiles on. Smiling up at him now, Jungkook was definitely worth it just to see him respond with his own.

“Don’t be so dramatic. It’s only, like, one planet away.”

A soft hush of laughter left him as he looked away. His gaze roaming around the street signs and their multiple names before looking back at you.

“Are we going the right way to your place? I just realized I never even asked for your address.”

“Does it matter? I mean, with your leg and all.” You hated yourself for spoiling the moment by bringing it up. You knew it was a touchy subject when it came to his leg for Jungkook. So you weren’t surprised to see that spark of warmth fade ever so slightly from his face. His smile wilted at the edges of his lips before it all but disappeared. “You know I’m sorry I said anything. I shouldn’t have. I mean obviously you know yourself and your limits. You wouldn’t have asked if you weren’t able to do it.”

You were rambling. You were fidgeting and waving your arms around while you talked, because why not? You were doing everything else besides hyperventilating at this point. All you knew was that you felt like a jerk for even bringing it up. When all you wanted was to know he was okay.

You were so lost in the space inside your head and worrying that you didn’t notice him laughing at you. You were mid-arm swing. Inhaling for another round of mouth babble to start asking for forgiveness when he waved for you to stop. A finger tip landing on your lips to quiet the words in your throat by shocking you into silence.

“You really don’t have to apologize so much, Y/N. It’s alright. I understand why you would ask.”

You were tempted to lick his finger away, but it felt too intimate. But so was a finger on the lips. Before you could decide your next move from your internal dilemma, Jungkook solved it for you. His finger detaching from your lips as quickly as it’d come.

“No, you don’t. I’m just worried about you. I know I should trust you to know yourself better, but-“ you did an over exaggerated shrug as you finished: “I’m a worrier.”

“I’m flattered, I have you to worry over me.”

You knew he was teasing you and you couldn’t have been happier. You preferred it to making him sad. Plus, he was back to looking at you like you controlled the stars and oh, what a wonderful look it was.

“You should be. I’ve only got so much extra space up here.”

You tapped your head for added effect and were rewarded with a soft laugh that was followed up by a smile. God, you could get used to this.

“I guess I need to work harder to take up more space.”

“Please, no. Let’s not do that. I need my sanity.”

You couldn’t believe you were doing so well at flirting. Usually, your sarcasm won out and you resorted to awkward winking, but this was definitely an improvement.

“I’m not sure you have much of that left either,” he joked.

You tried to hide your laughter with a scoff. You knew you were failing miserably at being offended. Your mouth fighting too hard to ward off a smile as you playfully bumped your shoulder into his arm. Jungkook was ready for you with his cane digging into the sidewalk to give him extra stability.

“Ya, if I do finally go crazy it’ll be your fault, specifically.”

“I think you’d have a hard time proving that in court. My counter argument would be pretty persuasive.”

You looked at him in shock.

“Court? Wow...that escalated quickly.”

Jungkook nodded his reply. He stopped in front of a bookstore and pointed at a manga in the window. You weren’t too familiar with the title, but it's a cover you’d seen plenty of.

“It would happen as quickly as an infection from a zombie’s bite. It would seem all slow until suddenly you jumped up and tried to eat me.”

You couldn’t keep the amusement off your face as you glanced at him and back down to the manga. A part of you wondering if it was one he’d read before or just wanted to use to make his point.

“Question: why are we together during a zombie outbreak?”

“Isn’t it obvious? It’s because I’ll be walking you home. I’ll try and save you and while feeling all heroic about it, I won’t even realize you’d been bitten until it’s too late.”

The two of you moved away from the bookstore window and began to walk back down the sidewalk. Your mind trying to dissect what he was trying to say, but all it left you with was imagining a zombie version of you trying to take a bite out of him.

“You must watch too much Walking Dead.”

“It’s a good show,” he shrugged.

“Did you know that there’s actually a fungus out there that’s sort of like a zombie infection. It’s called Ophiocordyceps. It basically infects the host and within nine days of infection it takes control of the host's body movements.”

You were still walking and looking around while you spoke. Your fingers running gently over a row of gardenia’s that were planted in carefully placed pots in front of someone’s home. You were aware Jungkook had left your side by the sudden coldness of his absence. You turned to look for him and found him standing a foot away from you. A mixture of astonishment and amusement etched on his face.

“Why do you know something like that? Actually, how do you know something like that?”

His eyes were dancing with curiosity as he moved to fall back into step beside you.

“Let’s just say I like to read. I like strange things and facts. And science is full of both facts and strange things.”

With each small statement you held up a finger. When you ended on the third and final small fact about yourself, you wiggled all three fingers at him. The motion earned you a giant smile that only seemed to grow wider as his head shook slightly back and forth.

“You are the strangest girl.”

“How am I strange?”

“You just told me about a body snatching fungus,” he chuckled. “What other girl is going to do that?”

Jungkook had a point. A very strong point. For all your new found confidence when it came to him, you couldn’t keep the heat from rushing to your face. Or the back of your hands from trying to hide it.

“I would tell you to stop being embarrassed but it’s cute when you blush.”

The two of you came to a complete stop at the crosswalk. The red light blinking to tell you two it wasn’t safe to cross. It felt like a weird metaphor for this moment in your life.

Stop! Do not keep staring back at him as if he strung every star in the sky. Stop! Don’t continue to entertain the thought that he looked like he wanted to kiss you or that you desperately wanted to kiss him back. Stop! Even though you already knew it was too late.

You had plans. It’d all been strategically mapped out in your head until you could read it forwards and backwards to yourself. Do your best to graduate high enough in the percentage range to get into a decent college. Get a degree for a job, it didn’t matter what it was, that made enough money to help your parents. For all your careful planning, none of it had included him and yet, the universe had you both standing at a stoplight looking at each other like there couldn’t be any other reality where you weren’t meant to end up right here. Standing at this exact light and looking at one another like no one else existed.

Luckily, the light changed signaling for you to begin to cross. The mass of bodies that had accumulated behind you began to push you both forward and, reluctantly, broke your gaze free from him. Your brain was scrambling to pick up a conversation you weren’t sure how to resurrect. Your mind too busy daydreaming all the scenarios you would’ve taken in different realities if you were braver. Clearing your throat, you did your best to wipe the thought clean and focus on your current reality.

“If it makes you feel better,” you started your body turning to consider him as you spoke, “the study was only ever done on the tropical ants that resided in the forest. The actual effects and what it could do to humans has never been studied. Yet. But I’m willing to bet it would take longer than nine days for it to take hold of a grown adult's nervous system and larger batches.”

He was looking at you in inspired mock horror. You weren’t sure whether it was a good thing or a bad thing. Or if your unusual fact telling about zombie fungus had completely killed the mood. You got your answer in an excited hush of, “Holy shit it’s like you’re writing your own super villain backstory.”

A smile erupted on your face as you playfully rolled your eyes away from him. It was hard to miss the mischievous glint in his eyes or the way his whole face still swam with the playfulness that lurked underneath his teasing. Jungkook was so alive. A force that required you to hang on or else you would get swept up in him without even realizing it’d happen.

You wondered if this is what falling in love felt like.

“I would make a terrible villain. I’m too clumsy,” you stated. Your weak attempt at downplaying yourself being met with a stern look.

“How clumsy are we talking?”

“Hmm, I would say, ‘Kronk giving the llama potion to Kuzco,’ kind of clumsy.”

A hiss of air whistled between Jungkook’s teeth. A mock look of worry on his face as his hands moved to reposition his bag.

“Can we call that clumsy, though?”

“What else would it be?” You asked.

You could feel the lines grouping together in your forehead just trying to figure out what he was getting at. Jungkook didn’t seem to be in any rush to answer you. The two of you walking a few feet before he must have decided you’d waited long enough for him to reply.

“I always thought Kronk was stupid throughout the whole movie, but really, he was just a good person. He’s a good guy tasked to do a bad thing and he just wants to make people happy. Even if it means doing the wrong thing.”

You wanted to ask if maybe he was talking more about himself than The Emperor’s New Groove at this point. He faced forward with his brow creased in deep thought and whatever it was that held his thoughts didn’t appear to be anything good.

“Or,” you started, voice light enough to drag him out of his head, “it’s just a kids movie.”

Sure, Jungkook was looking at you, but he didn’t seem to actually see you. Somewhere inside his head, he was reenacting or seeing something that ate up all the sunshine that lived in his bones. It felt silly to feel a sense of panic about something that might not even be true. And yet, you couldn’t stop the awful thought that sadness was trying to make a home inside his soul.

Without giving it another thought you reached up and pretended to wipe away a pretend rogue eyelash from his cheek. The suddenness of your fingers brushing on his skin jolted him from wherever his thoughts had held him hostage and back into the present. His eyes darted around your face and his own hand came up to gently take yours.

“Sorry.” Your words came out breathy as you struggled not to focus on how he was practically holding your hand. “There was an eyelash. The wind must have blown it away.”

The earlier sadness that’d hollowed out his eyes was gone. What replaced it was one of knowing you weren’t telling the truth. His head tilted slightly down to inspect your empty finger of the proof you knew your words didn’t have whose eyes sparked with his usual teasing and something else. Something that left a different kind of heat flooding your cheeks.

“I’m sure there was.”

Reluctantly, you removed your hand from his and continued to walk. It only took him a couple seconds to fall effortlessly into step beside you making you wonder if his leg was as injured as it seemed.

A warm silence swelled around you as you continued to walk. A comfortable pace setting between you as he looked in the windows of every store you passed in between the changing streets. He never once asked if you were getting close to your home or how much farther it might be. It was like the moment on the back of the bus. The two of you enjoyed that the other was there without ever feeling the need to say it.

But you knew it was soon coming to an end. In only a few blocks, you’d be home and your fairytale moment would end. You were struggling on how to break this, more to yourself than Jungkook, when you noticed he pulled a Nikon camera from the side of his bag. He was squinting through the lens and taking photos of something up ahead. Of the landscape or the people and buildings that framed it you weren’t sure.

He must have sensed your silent question as he snapped a few more quick photos before turning to acknowledge you.

“Y/N, I have a serious question for you.”

It was hard to keep the amusement off your face as you both came to a stop. The place felt random, but it was anything but that to Jungkook. Whatever he saw in this space you both inhabited must have felt like magic to him.

“Okay. Shoot.”

“Do you think we have enough time for me to take some photos?”

It felt like such an odd request. Why should anyone have to ask to do something that they loved? Jungkook didn’t fully say he loved doing it, but no one spent that much money on a nice camera if it wasn’t something they enjoyed doing. The look on his face was just an added bonus of proving your answer meant something. One that made you wonder why he felt like he needed your permission at all. And then it hit you: he wanted to stay in your company while he did it.

You considered teasing him, but he looked too vulnerable standing there. You weren’t even sure if he was breathing. A pleading in his eyes that reminded you of a child asking a mother to go on just one more ride before they were forced to go home. You considered giving him the bad news that you had more than homework to do when you arrived home. But that could come another day. On this day, with him, you could spare an hour just to make him happy.

Instead of coming right out and letting him know you’d made up your mind, you decided to play coy. A soft, “Hmm,” hummed around you as you looked everywhere but him. Your index finger tapping on your lips for dramatic flare.

"Ok," You shrugged. "I think I have some free time I could spare."

His eyes squinted in question as you moved to stand in front of him. The movement simply to let a couple go by in peace, but somehow placed you closer in front of him. Jungkook’s gaze was roaming your face to find an answer to a question he hadn’t yet asked.

“You planned on saying yes this whole time, didn’t you. You were just trying to make me suffer waiting for you to answer.”

You gasped in pretend shock and did your best not to smile at his accusations. By the growing smile on his face you knew you were failing miserably.

“Me?! I would never do such a thing.”

“You’re secretly a sadist!”

Jungkook’s smile only widened as a scoff of disbelief passed from your lips. Your own smile grew to match his own when his hands lifted up his camera. Seconds later the sound of the shutter clicked and you felt your soul leave your body. The earlier playfulness was swiftly swept in your own dark cloud and the idea you probably looked hideous in that photo.

“Oh god, Jungkook delete it,” you pleaded.

Your hands were reaching out to grab tightly at this shirt. Your fingers curled in the white fabric until there was a small chance you could tear holes. The camera in question was being held far from your reach. His hand easily held it above his shoulder as he used one hand to steady you against him. You’d invaded his space without even realizing, but you had no time to be embarrassed. Not when he had a picture of you forever saved on that camera.

“Why would I delete it?”

He was his usual amused self you could tell, but he wasn’t egging you on. His question was out of curiosity. His own eyes brimming with it as you considered keeping one hand tightly wound in his shirt and the other to jump up and reach for the camera.

“Because Jungkook I’m not cute. You’ll be lucky if it doesn’t ruin the camera.”

All his earlier playfulness drained from his face and what was left made you instantly feel like you were about to be scolded. His hand that had firmly planted itself on your hip was achingly apparent now as his fingers gripped you closer to him. Your own awareness at how close you actually were to his chest made your lips feel dry. Your tongue flicked out to wet them and god, it took everything in you not to focus on the fact his eyes had followed the movement.

“Y/N, why would you say that? You shouldn’t let anyone talk down about you, and you shouldn’t do it to yourself either. You’re beautiful.”

He spoke like it was a fact. A statement that not just the two of you knew, but the universe did too. And what were you supposed to say back? While you were held captive to the thought he was still looking from you to your lips. The determination for you to understand his words and believe them setting soft lines in his face. You tried to keep looking at him, but under his watchful gaze you couldn’t keep yourself from fidgeting. Your eyes moved down the line of his body until it landed on the tops of your shoes.

You weren’t sure what to say back. Thank you didn’t fit here. It didn’t feel like a moment where he was trying to boost your confidence the way a friend did. This felt more like someone who noticed something in you while you hadn’t been looking.

So instead of saying anything remotely clever back you began to dislodge yourself from him. Your hands releasing their hold on his shirt and forcing his hand off of your hip. Standing there with only inches between you, your body was achingly aware that his hand was gone. It’s weight leaving a burning of longing to have it back forced your hands into your pockets and your body turning away from him. You waited for him to start moving back down the road. The motion forced him to either join you or stay where he was.

“We should get going before we run out of time.”

You hated yourself for dismissing him. For not being bolder like you’d promised yourself earlier in the day. It would’ve been the perfect time to thank him. To tell him how you were pretty sure there wasn’t a soul on earth more attractive than him, but that what made him beautiful is what he refused to let people see. The soft tone of his voice still singing along to the songs on the back of the bus had ended up being an unspoken lullaby when you’d gone to sleep.

A part of you considered turning on your heel and telling him this. To tell him that you saw him; actually saw him for who he was and not who he felt like he needed to be. But you just kept moving forward and weren’t surprised when Jungkook found a steady rhythm back beside you.

The both of you stayed quiet. This time it felt more forced than the easiness of earlier. Like the two of you had so many missed starts at creating a conversation that neither of you could understand why it ended.

You watched him as he focused on the area around him. His camera training on an old couple who sat waiting for the next bus. The husband had clutched his wife’s arm close to his side. In his hands he was peeling what appeared to be an orange and with each freshly peeled slice, he gave one to her and one to himself. No one knew what they were conversing about, but it didn’t matter. To them, they were the only two people there. The wholesomeness of the moment made you wonder what they were like back in their youth.

You listened to the flutter of the shutter click repeatedly. His hand twisting on the lens to bring it in and out of focus, while he himself remained deadly focused on capturing their moment in time. You were curious how the photos would turn out in the end and wished there was a way to show them how their love translated on film.

You were in the middle of watching Jungkook turn his attention to a couple birds inside a cherry blossom when he spoke.

“Thank you for agreeing to walk with me while I do this.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Jungkook.”

A sad smile curled his lips as he dropped his camera down in front of him. His thumb skimmed over the buttons to quickly go through what he’d previously taken. The last one he landed on made his entire face light up and you felt a pang of jealousy at what it could be. How you wish he would look at you like that.

“Maybe, but I feel like I do. Ever since my accident, my appa hasn’t been able to force me into things. For once, I get to just do what I want. Sucks it only had to cost me a friend and a leg to get some freedom.”

Your feet had carried you to the next stop sign. The sudden halt in moving forced you to look at him, really look at Jungkook, like you’d never seen him before.

He wasn’t looking at you now. His ears a screaming red while his fingers danced over every part of the camera. His eyes roaming over its edges and flicking too fast through pictures to actually even be looking at them. For the first time since you’d met him Jungkook was scared to look at you. Scared for what you might see if you did.

Looking at him now, you couldn’t have been happier to indulge him. You’d indulge him for the rest of your life if he’d let you.

“Well, I’m happy to be of service.”

You mentally smacked yourself at your choice of words. Jungkook, however, was backing to his beaming self as he finally glanced in your direction. His eyeing ate up your embarrassment as it was your turn to face forward. Your feet hopping in place as you waited for the light to flash it was okay to walk.

“I’m supposed to be at physical therapy right now.”

“Wait, what?”

The light was flickering finally for you to all move. Your feet moved to carry you forward unintentionally, just to keep with the flow of traffic, as Jungkook gave you a small shrug for an answer.

“Did you say you were supposed to be at physical therapy?”

Another shrug and another long pause with no answer. It seemed he had been waiting for you to round the corner onto a quieter pedestrian free street before he replied, “After school. I have appointments almost everyday and I never go.”

“But why? It’s meant to help you get better, isn’t it?”

“Get better to do what, exactly?” He huffed. Jungkook’s entire body took on a broodier tone. His cane practically dug small holes with each press into the pavement. “Who even says that I can get better?”

“Well, doctors for one,” you pointed out. “I’m sure they wouldn’t have signed you up for it if they didn’t believe you could get better.”

“If I was going to get better it would’ve happened already.”

It felt like walking on eggshells. This side of Jungkook was the boy you’d met on his first day of class. His guarded demeanor up on high alert, as he kept his gaze stoically forward and his chin held high.

“You’re not an idiot, Jungkook. You know injuries take time to heal from. It doesn't just magically happen overnight.”

“Who says that I want to get better?”

The coldness in his words forced your legs to stop working. Your feet were unable to move as he continued to push on ahead of you. His own movements became slower now as the long walk was beginning to take its toll on his leg. He knew you weren’t beside him anymore and still he tried to keep pushing forward, before eventually he had no other choice but to turn around.

The look on his face was as defiant as ever. Underneath that defiance was a sadness so raw you only wanted to reach out and hold him. If just to remind him that he was seen and that his pain mattered.

That’s when the realization hit you.

“Unless you feel like you deserve this.”

The stone façade he’d worked so hard to create in the past few minutes began to chip. His eyes being the first to show by the soft uprising of tears that you were right. Somewhere deep inside Jungkook believed that he deserved what happened to him. That this was punishment for losing a friend at his own hands, even if it wasn’t his fault to begin with.

The tears that threatened to spill never did, but they were there. They floated dangerously at the surface of Jungkook’s control and he refused to let go. The rawness of his pain hit you and all you wanted was to help ease it. You weren’t sure if he would accept any kind of affection, even in a small hug. So your only option was to move closer to him. As close as he would allow without pushing you away.

With each step you could see his jaw clenching tighter; pulsing like he was fighting from saying something wicked to send you skirting back. He was just as afraid of what you were about to do as you were at being the one to do it.

When the tips of your shoes nudged against his you drew your eyes up until they landed on his. A spark of something; fear or uncertainty, flashed in his eyes. Was he expecting you to be cruel? To yell at him to stop being a child and to grow up? How much had he already heard those words shouted by adults? How long had he been standing there like this, in a world full of grief, and no one there to pull him out to breathe before the next wave suffocated him once more.

You weren’t sure if it was you or if what you said would matter, but it was important he heard it. It was important he knew that this was okay too.

“You got to forgive yourself sometime, Jungkook.”

The words themselves were simple. Simple and spoken between you as if there was a secret meant only for the two of you to hear. All you really wanted was for him to feel the sincerity of your words for him to know it was okay. Okay to feel sad, unsure, and helpless at times when all the world felt against you. It was okay to not know your first steps and okay to take those first steps when you were ready. Eventually, we needed to forgive, if only to give ourselves the chance to heal and move on.

His gaze was still misty with unshed tears and still they refused to fall. The pain and defiance that had turned his features harsh began to soften. All that hardness he struggled to keep himself in and others out was beginning to fade and the only thing left was him. All that sunshine that you’d seen lived in his smile and echoed in his laughter that crinkled in the corners of his eyes. The way he cared for others and making them feel cared for. The softness of his singing and the way he eagerly filmed people at their most vulnerable: at their most beautiful.

It was at this moment you felt your universe shift and tip until it realigned itself. With your fingers back to holding the edges of his shirt it took everything in you not to close those final inches and hug him. Jungkook closed that distance for you instead.

His lips crashing down on your cheeks causing a soft squeak of surprise to push free from your lips. A chuckle came as he came back into view and your mind struggled to comprehend what happened.

It wasn’t a kiss on the lips but…

“Did you just kiss my cheek?”

Your hand was up to the aforementioned spot. A wicked smile wiping away all of his sadness until you weren’t sure if it had been real at all or if you’d imagined it.

“I could kiss your lips if you’d like that instead.”

If your cheeks could get any hotter you could’ve fried food on them. You felt a surge of disappointment when Jungkook took a reluctant step back from you as his eyes dropped to check the time on his phone.

“As much as I hate to say this: I have to go.”

“All of the sudden you have to go,” you huffed.

Your words felt brave, but inside your heart was thundering wildly against your chest.

“I could stay if you want?”

Smoother than expected, Jungkook slid his way back to you. His chest bumping against you making you lose your footing just enough that it forced you to grab on to his shirt. Jungkook’s own hand had moved behind your back to steady you and bring you closer to him all at once.

You playfully smacked his chest and earned a soft laugh from him. Unfortunately, you found yourself peeling away from him. Your hands grasping at the strap of your bag to keep them from reaching back out for him.

“Not a chance.”

Your reply earned a playful pout from him as he started walking backwards away from you.

“I’ll remember that, Y/N!”

You rolled your eyes and turned around to start walking the rest of the way home. You didn’t get more than a few feet before he called back to you. Your eyes found him instantly in a crowd of people that continued to pass in front of him.

“I forgot to ask: what’s your number!”

He held up a pen expecting you to come back to him and write it down presumably on his arm or hand. You didn’t see any paper and could only assume. You knew it was all just a ploy to get you to come to him. The knowledge evident by the wicked grin on his face.

“You’re a math wiz, right?” Jungkook was perplexed for a second before you started reciting your number as loud as you were willing to shout it. The wind blew it away as he no doubt struggled to listen.

“Wow! What a way to play dirty.”

“If it’s meant to be you’ll figure it out.”

And maybe that was true. Maybe you both had a chance to write your own love story like from the movies and shows you used to watch with your mom. Like Rose and Jack from Titanic or Ross and Rachel...okay...maybe more like Chandler and Monica. Or maybe you were an idiot and should’ve just gone and wrote it down. It was too late now as he was already on the other side of the street.

You were ready to walk the rest of the way kicking yourself for being so lame when you heard him call your name again. When you turned you didn’t expect him to be trotting across the road. You didn’t expect him to stop in front of you and give you another quick kiss on the cheek, this one gentler than before, with every fiber of your body remembering just how soft his lips felt.

“I could fall in love with you, ya know.”

You watched as in the same breath he hopped back across the street and couldn’t help but think you already had.

————-

Later that night you were snuggled up inside the sheets of your bed. The only thing sticking out was the current book you were reading and the top of your head.

You hadn’t heard from Jungkook the rest of the day. Your heart hammered inside your chest every time your phone chimed with a new message only to deflate when you realized it wasn’t him. You loved your friends and all, but they weren’t who you’d been looking forward to all evening.

Maybe you should’ve just gone to him and written down your number. Like a normal human being would’ve done. You just had to be clever and yell it out like a lunatic. For all you knew, you could end up with a random stranger texting you at all hours.

Your current book that you were supposed to be reading but couldn’t really read because you couldn’t focus was now face planted onto your nose. A soft groan echoing into its pages as you fought not to close it and throw it somewhere in your room. You were a hundred percent sure you’d read the same sentence a few dozen times at this point.

In the morning, you decided, you most definitely were just going to write it down. Like a sane person would’ve done. You closed your book and placed it down beside you. Your eyes roaming up to stare at your ceiling and wondering if you were ever actually going to go to sleep when your phone chimed off.

You weren’t in any hurry to look. It could just be your parents from the restaurant making sure you were in bed. It could be one of your friends asking about making plans this weekend. It was probably still everyone but Jungkook and yet…

Your curiosity got the better of you. You shuffled inside your comforter, reached an arm out to grab your phone from the nightstand, and quickly pulled it back inside. You waited for your facial ID to unlock the screen to see who or what you’d received. Your own mind hyping up the suspense of the moment until it read over a reminder text from your dad about your chores for the upcoming weekends.

You hated you’d let yourself have even a glimmer of hope. It was official. You’d ruined your chances when it came to giving out your number. A groan was creeping its way up your throat as you quickly sent back a text. You knew your chores took over almost every weekend. Even when you’d made plans with friends, you’d ended up never going.

As soon as you’d hit send you were rolling over to put your phone back on your nightstand. The shrill sound of pinging messages stopped you cold. There was no way your dad had learned to text back that fast. You laid yourself flat back against the mattress and brought the phone to hover above your face.

Y/N?

Is this the right number finally?

Hello?!!

If this is the wrong person, I’m sorry. I swear I’m not crazy. Just looking for a girl.

Your heart leapt into your throat. It was beating so hard you were scared it would burst from your chest. Your eyes were still skimming over the line of text messages when another one sounded. You were so caught up in reading the next line you weren’t aware your clammy fingers had let the phone slip and it crash landed down on your face.

“Ooow!”

One hand scrambled to pick it back up off your face, while the other massaged the now swelling brim of your nose.

How many people have you texted before me?

There wasn’t a need to send a hi. To give him a coy response to continue to tease him or make him believe he’d gotten it wrong again. Your curiosity at the desperate way he seemed to have been looking for you was endearing. The thought that he’d spent so much time sending out random messages for a response, no matter how crazy he looked, felt silly but cute too.

Jungkook thought you were worth the trouble.

OH MY GOD IS IT REALLY YOU?! And maybe like... seventeen.

You snuggled deeper into your comforter as a soft giggle joined the growing smile across your face.

I’m sorry I should have just wrote it down when you offered the pen lol

It definitely would’ve made it a lot easier.

You’d asked yourself that question all evening while you’d waited for him. You bit your lips as your fingers hovered over the keyboard. Unsure if you should take the chance and tell him.

“Screw it,” you whispered as you typed.

Took you long enough. I’ve been waiting forever.

Well, I’m sorry to keep you waiting. This girl thought it was a good idea to shout random numbers at me 😅😂.

Your head was shaking as you tried to figure out something witty to say. You couldn’t believe you were here. Inside your comforter cave smiling at your phone like a lunatic and wondering if maybe Jungkook was doing the same. Or what was he even doing? You were getting ready to type out that exact question when your phone pinged to life.

So, ugh, on to more important matters. It read. I was thinking about your love of random facts and I think I got one for you.

Ooooooo kekeke this should be good

Do you want to know it or not?

Okay okay! Lol please tell me Kookie

You could practically feel him screaming through your phone as a sideways glance emoji was sent back in a long lined response. You wondered if you’d completely ruined his fact telling when your phone went off.

I found this article that said the chances of finding your soulmate out of 500,000,000 people was impossible. But, if you just place it to where you are, to your age group, and timing it narrows it down to a 1 in 10,000 chance. What I’m trying to get at is...I think your my 1 in 10,000

You read the message on repeat. Over and over until you were sure you’d practically memorized it front and back. You wanted to ask him for his source material. Where such an article could exist. None of that really mattered to you and how could it?

You must have spaced out because you never sent him a reply. Your thoughts were still spinning in a world all their own as you wondered if he was sitting at his desk doing homework or lying in bed. If he was inside or outside and what had made him so brave to send that message: believing you felt the same.

The vibration of the phone brought you back down to earth. You expected to see question marks or another line of, “Hello?” To have left him on read. Instead, the only thing that greeted you was a simple, Goodnight, Y/N.

This time there was no hesitation from you.

Goodnight, Jungkook

See you in the morning ?

His text felt so hopeful. A silent undertone that if you said no there was a chance you’d break him. You bit your lip as you thought about what this meant. The beginning of small promises that eventually grew into bigger ones.

I’ll meet you at the gate

You both finished up with another round of good night’s that felt like the embarrassing texting equivalent of “no you hang up! No you!” And placed your phone back on your night stand. It took forever for the sandman to finally claim you. Your dreams consisting of the magic of being Jungkook’s 1 in 10,000.

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