#flowers. i get a lot of flowers for my birthday. because they’re fucking on sale everywhere. AS VALENTINES GIFTS.

[areyouwho-ithinkyouare]

i hate valentine’s day not for the normal reasons like “the commercialisation of a complex and nuanced human experience” but because it ALWAYS overshadows the most important February event. My Birthday.

[celestialvexation-arch]

aftoncest for the ask meme 👀

who hogs the duvet

william! damn him and his larger body for wanting to be all covered up and leaving michael to face the bitter cold air!

who texts/rings to check how their day is going

i’d say william since michael tends to do his own thing lmao. he just wants to make sure his son’s doing alright, tho he can be a lil annoying by sending “how’s everything??” every few hours

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts

honestly, i can see both because they would be around with louis and elizabeth, who tend to make all sorts of arts and crafts! in fact, the children’s gift for michael for one of his birthdays opted him to make things from scratch. same with william, but it’s not on par with michael’s 

who gets up first in the morning

wiliam, considering where he works and all lmao. bonus that he tends to wake up an hour early so he can prepare to work at the office before the pizzeria itself opens. his son tends to sleep in most of the time 

who suggests new things in bed

as shy as he is in doing so, michael would and much to william’s delight, he tends to be so adorable about it! especially when he knows that michael heard of these other kinks in magazines and word of mouth

who cries at movies

both! however, they would have be not only moving to the soul, but also nostalgic in a way. ofc, michael’s a lot more sensitive when it comes to those things so he’s more prone to crying

who gives unprompted massages

it always surprises william when michael tends to do so. when he comes home from work, william is just…so drained and exhausted to do even the basic stuff yet when he has those hands at his shoulders, he just fucking melts 

who fusses over the other when they’re sick

i actually made a post of this sort of thing, but all i’ll say that william tends to hover around michael when he’s ill lmao

who gets jealous easiest

william. holy shit, you wouldn’t believe just how jealous he’s to be whenever he’d feel a spark between michael and another person. and when i mean spark, i mean an attraction that’s to flicker towards one or the other. eventually, as the years goes by, michael would always look like he’s gonna kill someone whenever he’s to see someone wanting to make a move on his father

who has the most embarrassing taste in music

as far as tastes go, it’s usually 80s, 90s tunes and thankfully, they tend to be the classic ones. if i were to guess for today’s times, michael would be listening to the music that, nowadays, is just insufferable to listen to. william can’t even imagine how and why his son could even vibe with those songs

who collects something unusual

michael, mainly. it’s even more prevalent when he’s a teen when his interests and hobbies tend to branch out uvu

who takes the longest to get ready

william’s too fastidious in planning to linger on decisions in what he’s to wear, and michael just puts on w/e that doesn’t stink or is recently washed lmao. however, william does takes his time in brushing his teeth, making sure that he’s prim and proper, brushing his hair, etc

who is the most tidy and organised

as explained above, william is always the tidy one, and he’s usually the one that’d tell michael to clean up after himself lmao

who gets most excited about the holidays

hmmm…i wouldn’t say excited as much as they would be eager. they are wanting to decorate the house to be a lot more festive, and they’d actually work together to make the food applicable for the holiday :D

who is the big spoon/little spoon

william’s definitely the big spoon lmao

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports

michael. my god, have you seen this guy playing mortal kombat or mario kart?? shit can get crazy competitive when he’s playing.

who starts the most arguments

oh man, that has to go to michael. he just can’t help! his father would say the one (1) thing that’s to set him off or help stir the boiling pot until it spills out and michael’s cursing at him. usually, they’re kinda petty and small enough to diffuse in minutes

who suggests that they buy a pet

i don’t think either have the time or patience to buy a pet

what couple traditions they have

movie night every sunday! that’s the day that william’s off from work and every other day, they’d get take out from their favorite mexican resturant. either as breakfast or dinner, depending what they have to do for that day

what tv shows they watch together

oh, those blue collar sitcoms ( think of roseanne! ) and early saturday morning cartoons! other than that, they don’t rlly have the interest to watch television most of the time

what other couple they hang out with

whhhhyy would they…..

how they spend time together as a couple

they’d go out to the mall, see what’s the hottest thing on sale or they’d go strolling thru the park! i can actually see william being somewhat of a casual, or at least have some knowledge, of fishing so he’d take mikey out for that!

who made the first move

william, mainly b/c he wanted to get a reaction of some kind out of michael lmao

who brings flowers home

mmm…maybe not as gifts, but to liven the house up! put them in a vase or something

who is the best cook

william, thanks to his late wife and michael thinking that he’d be good on microwavable meals and cups of ramen as a dinner lmao

[lotus0kid]

LoBT/OUaT: That Familiar Sunrise

((400th follower fic prompt from @woobienation:  Could I talk you into a bit of Barnelle, Nostelle, or Macelle? Perhaps a chance encounter at a party, since we’re heading into that season?

Well, not exactly that, but kinda close!  Based on a spoilery idea I got after watching the movie.))

Barney Thomson likes the quiet.  It’s safe, it’s familiar.  At his best, he’s a quiet man.  Francis Ives is not quiet.  That’s not to call him loud.  Oh no.  But the air seems to vibrate around him in a way that’s hard to explain, and impossible to ignore.  He can say a lot with just the angle of a smile.  He’s the kind of man who could ride into town on a black horse, save the villagers, and ride off with no one ever learning his name.  He’s in every way Barney’s opposite.  Which made it totally inexplicable from top to bottom when he introduced himself quite cheerfully as Barney’s father.

“It’s really rather embarrassing that she slipped my mind for so long.  But I was walking in a market in Bangalore when I caught a whiff of some delicious rava idli, and it all came back in a flash.  More than two hundred years on God’s Earth and she’s the first and last Cemolina that ever crossed my path.  Lovely woman- well, perhaps not quite… But we had fun.  Condolences, of course, though I suppose we can bless her memory for finally bringing us together.”  He paused, gazing at Barney with a look far warmer than anything he’d ever experienced. “My own son.”

 So, clearly Ives is barking mad.  But Barney’s found that doesn’t make him bad company.  He’s in every few days for a shave, and always stays for a wee chat. It doesn’t take long before he times his appointments to just before Barney’s lunch break, so there’s really not much excuse not to spend time with the man.  Even if he’s fucking certifiable.

 One such day, they’re leaving the chips shop around the corner when a feminine voice with an Aussie lilt floats over Barney’s shoulder, “Um, excuse me.”  Assuming he likely dropped some change, Barney pauses and turns, and finds the most beautiful woman in the world looking straight at him. “Sorry, I know this is rude, but I just had to ask, is it true you’re the man who survived the Bridgeton Butcher?”

 Barney gawps at her for a moment like a landed fish, his gaze darting to Ives, who simply raises a brow. “I, ah, survived maybe isn’t the right word.  He never came after me, he just… Was just a coworker.”  Barney’s glad for the business his wholly unexpected legend brought to the shop, but these days he prefers not to think about the string of dark days in which he learned about the startling fragility of the human body. And how monsters can hide under familiar faces.

 The woman lets out a soft laugh, “I’m sure that was well close enough.  Anyway, sorry again.  Um, I’m Belle French.  I’m over at Game of Thorns.”

 She extends a perfect hand. Barney hastily wipes the sweat off his own before daring to perform a business-like shake.  “Barney Thomson, Henderson’s Barbers- but,” he winces, “I suppose you know that.”

 “I gathered, yes,” Belle replies lightly.

 Her smile is like sunshine, dazzling Barney until he feels a nudge at his side.  “Right, and this is Francis Ives.”

 “Barney’s father,” Ives says with a short bow, hand placed on his chest.

 Belle nods, then frowns, her gaze jumping between the two men, her fully functional brain drawing the obvious conclusions.  Panic swirls in Barney.  “Right, well!” he cries, voice jumping to a reedy register, “Very nice to meet you, Miss French, very nice indeed, but we need to be going.”

 “Oh, yeah, I’ll- I’ll see you around then.”

 He’s already grasped Ives’s elbow and is towing him away.  Still the madman calls over his shoulder, “I guarantee it, Miss French!  Au revoir!”

 “You cannae say that to people,” Barney hisses in Ives’s ear.

 “Why not?”

 “Why not?  Because it’s-”  He bites back the word insane as he spots a cold, hard glint in eyes that are undeniably similar to his own.  “Look, just… give it a rest, will ya’?”

 Ives sighs, and the glint melts into the usual soft warmth.  “I shouldn’t have left for so long.  But you know how it is, time gets away from you.  Especially when so much has gone before.  And it only picks up speed, you know.  Decades pass like weeks to me now.  Perhaps you’ll understand someday.  But… I don’t think you’re ready.  Not yet.”

 The race is neck-and-neck over what’s more discomfiting, Ives’s talk of being Barney’s father, or his talk of living far beyond any normal human lifespan.

 “Anyway, Belle French is beautiful as the reddest rose, isn’t she?”

 And a new challenger comes from behind to win it all!  “I hadn’t noticed,” Barney says, lying more extravagantly in three words than all his babble to the cops.

 Ives is quiet for a beat before murmuring, “Perhaps you should, lad.  Perhaps you should.”

 Barney rolls his eyes, and they continue their walk back to the shop.

 --- 

Time carries on, and Francis Ives carries on his presence in Barney’s life.  It’s not very long before the other barbers decide Ives is all right despite his peculiarities, and soon he’s gotten himself (and by convenient extension, Barney) invited to football and boxing matches, happy hours and birthday parties.  Not long ago Barney might have proclaimed he had no interest in such frivolous social engagements.  But that’s easier to say when you’ve never been invited.

 A little voice in Barney insists this will all come to an end somehow, whether with a bang or a whimper, though preferably not in a literal sense.  However, when his thoughts turn in that gloomy direction, Ives always seems to turn up.  He’s said he intends to stay as long as he can.  Which, according to him, is when people start to notice he isn’t aging.

 “Or, if you feel I must leave…” Ives prompted, still with that now familiar soft warmth in his eyes. “No!” Barney hears himself blurt out, “No, no, it’s- you’re fine.”

 When he can pry his mind away from bleak pessimism, the real trick is keeping it from wandering to Belle French.  It’s bloody embarrassing, honestly, him thinking on a lovely, intelligent young woman like her.  She’s kind too, often popping her head out of Game of Thorns for a short chat when Barney and Ives pass on their walks.  He might assume it’s just Ives’s undeniable charm that wins her attention, but oddly the man stands by mostly silent while she and Barney catch up.  Or maybe Barney just doesn’t notice him the way he usually does.  Everything seems to fade into the background when Belle’s there to look at, and talk to, and make smile.

 One day, an aspect of Barney’s most pathetic dreams comes true when Belle shoves her way out of Game of Thorns and runs down the street toward him with an absolutely radiant beam spread across her face.

 “Barney, I closed the deal!” she cries, grasping his forearms when she’s close enough and all but dancing on the spot.

 He barely manages to look over to the empty shop that’s been gathering dust beside Game of Thorns for ages. “So, you’ll be able to expand?”

 “Yes!  French’s Flowers, Tea, and Books will be open for business in a matter of months.  You’ll come to the grand opening, won’t you?”  She blinks, and glances to Barney’s right, “Oh, and you, Francis?”

 “We wouldn’t miss it,” Ives answers, draping an arm around Barney’s shoulders, “Congratulations.”

 “Thanks.  I’m so excited I can barely see straight.  But there’s so much to do, I don’t have a minute to spare if I want to open at the start of the next fiscal year.  I’ll see you both later, okay?  Bye!”

 She lets go of Barney to whip around and dart back inside, and he immediately wills his memory to record exactly what the sweet pressure of her hands on him felt like.  Meanwhile, Ives leans close to murmur, “What wonderful news.  We need to get you a new suit.”

 If Barney sees almost nothing of Belle in the coming months, he consoles himself with the knowledge that it’s because she’s busy becoming a permanent fixture on his street.  When the day of the grand opening finally comes, he manages to resist Ives’ orders to buy roses, though he quails under his stern warning, “Don’t you dare buy her carnations, lad.  She’s not a granny on her death bed.”  They settle on two dozen white and yellow daisies.

 While Barney’s stomach twists itself into knots as they walk, Ives’s lets out a long, low growl. Barney shoots a glance toward him as he pats his abdomen with a pained look.  “You okay?  You dinnae have lunch today.  Your supper disagree with you?”

 Ives’s gaze wanders skyward. “It disagreed most vehemently, I’m afraid.  But now my stomach’s remembered how to be hungry.”

 “Well, let’s hurry on then, before the nibbles are gone.”  If Barney wasn’t so nervous about seeing Belle on her big day, he might have realized that Ives never takes more than a few bites when they go to lunch.

 Balloons and streamers decorate the face of the newly-minted French’s Flowers, Tea, and Books, a charming florist-café-bookstore filled with color and air and light.  Barney actually feels able to take a calming breath when he’s stepped inside from the outdoor patio, despite the number of people packed in among the shelves and displays.  He still takes a moment to run a palm down his suit and over his hair.

 “You’re going to be fine,” Ives says.

 “Right, thanks, Dad- Francis- Mr. Ives.”

 It’s too late.  Ives beams like the sun, both hands pressing over his heart.

 Barney gives him a feeble glare and turns away to look for Belle.  His heart jumps when he spots her by the till, but just as quickly sinks when he sees the strapping man leaning over her, his chiseled face executing a cinema-perfect smile.  Barney has never felt older or uglier or more pathetic in his life, which is a hard record to beat.  Clearly if he has any sense he’ll stick the daisies in one of the vases for sale and scarper. If Belle sees him and this man side-by-side, she won’t be able to contain her laughter.  Like an imp standing next to a knight, hardly recognizable as the same species.

 He’s half-turned to make good his escape when Ives strides forward, leaving Barney to scuttle along behind and pray he doesn’t say anything insane.  “Ah, Miss Belle, what a fabulous event this is!”

 “Hiya, Francis, thanks,” Belle replies, then tilts her head slightly to peer around him, “Barney? Oh, I’m so glad you made it!”

 Barney barely manages to contain the “Why?!” begging to explode from his lips, and instead thrusts the daisies in Belle’s general direction.  “Ah, for you.”

 “Oh, they’re lovely!” she exclaims while taking from the bouquet from his limp, damp, trembling hand, “Daisies for new beginnings, right?”

 “Naturally,” Ives says, “We wish you all the luck as you begin this exciting business venture, not that I think you’ll need it.  The interior design is absolutely stunning.  Just walking in is like traveling from Glasgow to Paris in a single step.”

 As if Belle could get more beautiful, a pink flush blooms on her round cheeks as she breathes in the scent of the daisies.  “Thanks, again.  Actually I based it on the shops I saw in Paris.  Traveling there was a dream come true for me.”

 The Adonis hovering nearby coughs and says, “You know, I would’ve brought flowers, I just thought they’d get in the way of- of the other flowers.”

 “Of course, Gaston,” Belle assures him, “Francis, Barney, this is Gaston Muscat, a friend of my father’s.”

 Gaston blinks, “A friend of yours, you mean.  A close friend.  We’ve known each other for…”

 “How wonderful to meet you, Gaston,” Ives declares, grabbing his hand and pumping it enthusiastically. He hangs on, and actually reaches with his free hand to clasp Gaston’s elbow while leaning away from Belle.  “My, what a grip you’ve got.  What line of work are you in?  Please, tell me everything.”

 Barney quite suddenly finds himself face-to-face with Belle while Gaston and Ives move a few steps off. She smiles, and the entire English language deserts him.  He slowly cobbles together a few halting statements, “It, uh, seems to be going well. The event.  The opening.  Here.”

 Far from bursting into laughter, a nervous look passes over Belle’s face, “Seems so.  You don’t think it’s… too much?”

 “No, no.  It’s…”  He can’t conjure any bits of poetry like Ives did, so he goes with the truth, “I feel like I can breathe here.  Which can be difficult.  For me. Sometimes.”

 Her smile returns, wider and warmer than before.  Barney feels it down to his toes.  She takes him on a tour of the whole shop, barely pausing to acknowledge other guests and customers and always returning swiftly to him.  Barney asks every question he can, if only for the pure pleasure of hearing her voice and witnessing the workings of her mind.  The existence of Gaston and even of Ives drifts far away.

 Quite suddenly it seems he and Belle are among the last few people in the shop.  Belle slips her arm free from where she looped it around Barney’s at some point.  He feels at least ten degrees colder with its absence.  “Well, I should probably help with the till, see how much we made on our opening day.”

 “Right, of course.”

 “I’m so glad you came.”

 “I’m glad I stayed- that is, I mean, I enjoyed… being here.  Spending time, with you.”

 Somehow he has managed to bring that rosy blush to her cheeks all on his own.  “Yeah, same.  Um, do you want to get dinner sometime, with me?”

 His entire throat seizes up with shock, so all he can do is nod.

 “Great!  Tomorrow, at eight?  We can meet here, and just wander until we find something good?”

 “Y-yes.  Definitely.  I would love to.” “Okay.  Until then, Barney.”  She reaches out and scoops up his hand, giving it a squeeze before letting go.

 Barney floats from the shop, and down the street, and all the way back to his flat.

 There he finds Ives. And Gaston.  Or, what remains of Gaston.  The rest is being sliced up into neat, meal-sized portions by Ives.  Barney’s feet feel nailed to the floor as waves of cold horror wash over him.

  Ives, meanwhile, looks up with an apologetic grin through the blood.  “Oh dear, I really thought you’d be- well, occupied with Miss Belle tonight.  Not to worry though.  I’ll have this cleaned up in no time, son.  Promise.”

[eldritchsurveys]

734.

Have you ever read the Hunger Games series? >> I have, finally! Read it during my trip to Texas in January. I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would; my quibbles are few. I want to see the movies but I also don’t want to see the movies -- what I want are... not those movies, pretty much. I’ll probably give the first one a shot at least, just so I know for sure exactly what I’m protesting against, lol.

When was the last time you ran into something? >> I don’t remember, I don’t do that often.

Do you enjoy dressing up? >> Yes, absolutely, mostly because I don’t get to do it often so it’s a novelty.

Do you live in the city or a rural area? >> I live in the outskirts of a city. So, kind of the suburbs, but not quite.

Would you say you have a sense of style? >> I mean, yeah.

What’s your biggest fear? >> Being terribly aware of my every dying moment and carrying that awareness into another life or something.

Have you ever been bitten by a wild animal? >> No.

Are you close to any of your cousins? >> No.

Have you ever been lost in the woods? >> No.

Where did you last travel? >> For any significant distance? Houston, Texas.

Do you enjoy driving? >> I don’t drive. I enjoy driving being a part of my mythic self, though (my mythic self is called the Driver, you see).

What song did you last listen to? >> Sunlight by Hozier. Which was, of course, written specifically to call me out.

If you have a job, how often do you work? >> ---

What time do you normally go to sleep at night? >> Anywhere between 10.30p and 1a.

Do you watch a lot of movies? >> I do.

Do you like Tom Petty? >> I don’t.

Would you rather have snow or rain? >> Rain. Absolutely rain.

Do you own a lot of sweaters? >> No. I’m not sure I own any at all, actually -- oh, wait, I own exactly one. It’s a Hot Topic Christmas sweater and it says “Sleigher: Reindeer Blood” on it. I love it and I would live in it if I could.

Have you ever tried rock-climbing? >> Nope. Except on that small rock wall in the Museum of Science & Industry (pretty sure that’s where it was).

Ever ridden in a police car? >> Yes.

Favorite decade of music? >> I don’t have a favourite decade. I prefer listening to music from as many decades as possible.

Have any of your best friends been your best friend longer than a year? >> ---

Ever witnessed a murder? >> No.

Do you care what people think of you? >> I care what some people think of me.

Does your room have a ceiling fan? >> Nope.

Would you consider yourself poised? >> Not particularly. I never put any effort into it.

Have you ever tried blogging? >> Of course, lol.

Favorite television channel? >> I don’t have cable.

Have you ever lied under oath? >> No.

What are your religious views? >> Nebulous and subject to whim.

Are you a romantic person? >> No.

When did you last change your bed sheets? >> About an hour ago, actually. And I showered afterwards, so now I’m a clean boy in a clean bed. Livin’ the dream.

Would you consider yourself a flirt? >> No.

At what age do you plan to be married? >> 32, apparently.

Do you eat a lot of junk food? >> No. I really just don’t like a lot of the foods that are widely considered “junk”.

When did you last go on vacation? >> I guess the trip to Texas was kind of a vacation? But otherwise I’d say my wedding/honeymoon in October.

Are you resilient? >> Yeah. Like, I know I am. It’s been proven that I am. The fact I feel so fragile and wounded so often isn’t a contradiction of that fact.

Have you ever failed a subject before? >> I don’t think so.

If so, what was the class? >> Like, I should have failed English III because I got a zero on the midterm and the final, but I think the teacher gave me a D out of pity or whatever.

Do you wear more bright or dull colors? >> I don’t really wear colours at all. It’s not even an effort anymore, it really just seems that all of the clothing I’m willing to wear comes in black...

Do you know anyone who has attempted suicide? >> Yes.

What’s your favorite quote? >> DAMMIT. I totally forgot about that quotes file I was going to keep on Evernote. I gotta work on that so I have answers for this question.

Would you consider yourself mature? >> I mean, I suppose I do okay. Being post-traumatic means I have some pretty child-like responses to things sometimes, but, you know. I’m doing my best.

How many clocks are in your house? >> There’s one on my wall, although there’s no battery in it because I can’t abide the noise. It’s just a decoration. (It’s one of those records that someone cut a design out of, it’s really cool.)

Do you play any sports? >> No.

What is your biggest life regret? >> ---

Have you ever been injured in a car accident? >> Nope.

If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be? >> My mind went a lot of places with this question in 5 seconds flat, and I don’t even know how to unpack any of it. Half the shit I thought of didn’t even have anything to do with this lifetime.

Have you ever had highlights in your hair? >> No.

Favorite fast food restaurant? >> Meh.

In what country were you born? >> USA.

Are your eyes more than one color? >> Nope.

Have you ever caught something on fire? >> Accidentally? Yeah, a couple of times.

What would you consider your biggest flaw? >> I don’t know.

What do you think your best quality is? >> Curiosity and open-mindedness.

Do you enjoy listening to others’ problems? >> I’m not sure “enjoy” is the right word in this context, lol.

Do you keep any plants in your house? >> Yeah, Sparrow’s really into plants. I like them, but I tend to enjoy them more when they’re outdoors. Kind of like animals.

What is your mother’s occupation? >> ---

Do any of your friends like your musical style? >> At least some of it, I’m sure. I like way too much shit for me to have no music preferences in common with the average person.

What are you most looking forward to? >> That glorious day when I can just. Walk into a bar and have a drink and some lunch again.

What was your favorite television show as a child? >> I don’t think I had one.

Are you afraid of insects? >> Not as a rule.

Are you cold-natured? >> I don’t think so, but my 485745 defense mechanisms often make me appear so.

How old were you when you got your first pet? >> I was a toddler.

Did you / do you enjoy high school? >> I did not.

What would you say was your favorite age? >> ---

What annoys you most about social networking? >> The way it’s engineered.

Are you the center of attention most of the time? >> No.

What are you currently reading? >> Staring at the Sun: Overcoming The Terror of Death by Irvin D Yalom. It’s... not really giving me anything I can use, mostly because it doesn’t address the things I actually fear (like, no, I don’t fear not leaving behind a good legacy or whatever, I literally fear the awe-ful, terrible knowledge of my organs shutting down and shit like that, the helplessness of being pulled into the abyss. Literally. Not figuratively. This is a literal visceral thing I believe in. Also, I fear persecution by cosmic forces because I have internalised the idea that I am Bad and I will be Punished. Where is my book? I do like the title, though.), so I don’t know if I’m going to finish it. I might skim through it for a few decent nuggets like that one Nietzsche quote he used, “when we are tired, we are attacked by ideas we conquered long ago”. That was a good one.

When did you last go to the library? >> It’s been a while, since I usually just check out ebooks. Oh, wait, we went to the branch for a Black History Month event, so, February.

Are you ill at the moment? >> No.

Do people tease you about anything? >> I mean, Sparrow does. And some tumblr mutuals tease me about various aspects of my Brand, hah.

How late did you stay up last night and why? >> I think I dropped off at around midnight, idk. Because that’s just how it happened.

Have you ever written poetry? >> Sure.

Curtains or shades? >> I’m not sure what the difference is.

How many people have you spoken to in the last hour? >> One.

Do you tend to text a lot? >> No.

Ever lost a great best friend? >> ---

What is your favorite kind of flower? >> Sunflowers.

Do you own any guns? >> Absolutely fucking not.

What would you say is your favorite book of all-time? >> ---

Do you think you’re living a good life? >> I am doing my best with the life I have.

What’s your least favorite part of the day? >> I don’t have a least favourite part of the day.

Are you an over-achiever? >> No.

Have you ever won an award for a speech? >> No.

Do you tend to curse a lot? >> Sure.

Have you ever played on the Ouija board? >> Nope. I’ve never even seen one in person, except for seeing the box in a store or something.

Do you sleepwalk? >> No.

Have you ever slept on the floor before? >> Yeah, I did for years. I should probably have worse spinal alignment or something now, but I guess them’s the perks of doing shit like that while I was still young.

Are you a fan of public displays of affection? >> I don’t do well with physical affection whether in public or not, so, you know.

When did you last attend a yard sale? >> A couple of years ago?

Do you wish your life were simpler or more interesting? >> I like the level of simplicity I’m at right now.

What goals do you wish to accomplish tomorrow? >> ---

When is your birthday? >> 28 May.

Which is worse: going blind or deaf? >> How would I know, I haven’t experienced either.

What was the best part of today? >> Visiting a mutual’s house in FFXIV, signing the guestbook, and then turning around and there was her character (and her girlfriend’s character) right behind me, lmao. We didn’t get to chat long because their dungeon queue popped, but it was still nice.

Do you attempt to stay away from drama? >> I don’t have to stay away from it, it’s never anywhere near me in the first place.

What liquid did you last drink? >> Gose.

Do you ever prefer to be alone? >> Often.

Have you ever had a deadly animal as a pet? >> No.

Favorite Disney movies >> Lilo & Stitch, Moana, and Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Have you ever been to the beach? >> Sure.

If you have, how many times have you been? >> Like... a few dozen? I don’t know.

What was your dream occupation at age ten? >> ---

Are you terrified at the idea of weight-gain? >> I don’t know if terrified is the right word, exactly, but something similar to that.

Do you drink a lot of water? >> Not a lot. I drink when I feel thirsty, and that just isn’t that often? I don’t know. Maybe I’m not good at recognising thirst cues, that’s a possibility.

Does your room have carpet or hard-wood floors? >> Carpet.

Do you take naps daily? >> No.

Who were you named after? >> I wasn’t named after anyone.

Do you plan on traveling this spring or summer? >> Well, we had planned...

Do you know anyone who is colorblind? >> Maybe?

Have you ever been a teacher’s pet? >> When I was a child, I guess, because I was precocious and nerdy and adults are obsessed with that sort of thing for some reason.

What is your absolute favorite hobby? >> *shrug* What’s a hobby.

How many times a day do you brush your teeth? >> One, provided I remember and have the executive function.

Ever been to a tanning bed before? >> No.

Are you satisfied with your financial stability? >> No matter what, I still have more financial stability than I did when I was literally penniless and living on the street, so I can deal.

Who is your favorite actor / actress? >> When it comes to people I’m always excited to see in a movie, Javier Bardem is one.

Are your nails painted? >> Nope.

What’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said to someone? >> I don’t know, I’ve said a lot of mean things.

Do you ever accidentally talk to inanimate objects? >> Not accidentally, no. I do it on purpose, because it pleases me.

What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream? >> Vanilla bean and matcha are the only flavours I actually like and don’t just. tolerate.

Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender? >> I don’t think I’ve ever kissed another agender person.

Do you receive any hate mail? >> No.

Have you ever sent a letter in the mail? >> When I was a kid.

If you could, would you have a pen pal? >> I don’t think I’d make a good penpal.

What color are the pants you’re wearing? >> Black with lime green print.

Have you ever had a stalker? >> No.

What is your life philosophy? >> I don’t have one.

Who last sent you a goodnight text message? >> ---

Do you own any clothes that are your favorite color? >> I don’t own any gold clothing, no.

Have you ever been in a hot tub before? >> I tried a hot tub once, at Easton Mountain. Five seconds in, I felt faint and like my heart was going to burst out of my chest, so I had to get out.

What’s your favorite comedy movie? >> Blazing Saddles and The Producers come to mind.

In which year were you born? >> 1987.

[sup-trash]

I need all your charliv Headcanons

WELL THEN ANON HAVE A FUCKING SEAT

Charlotte spoils Liv because something about seeing her happy makes Charlotte’s day better. She doesn’t know if it’s her smile, her hyperactivity or the way her blue eyes sparkle when she looks at her.

They’re human ok? So when the comments start getting to Charlotte’s head, Liv does something so common and yet uncommon to boost her mood. “Wrestle with me.” “Why?” “Well you’re a nine time champion and one of the best wrestlers WWE has to offer. I want to get better at it, so who else better to ask?” “You’re clever, go get padded up.” It boosts Charlotte’s confidence and also lets her release some steam.

On the flip side, when Liv is down in the dumps it affects Charlotte because Liv is normally always happy. So with that, a lot like aftercare, Charlotte will shower Liv with affection. It isn’t like “here’s my card, go do whatever” affection, but “I don’t like you sad so whatever I need to do to make you happy let’s do that” kind of affection. And Liv takes advantage of that whenever that happens.

Liv appreciates Charlotte for the little things, which is something because Charlotte does big things as a show of affection. Example following.

On one of Liv’s birthdays, Charlotte had a big bouquet of assorted flowers because she remembered Liv said roses were too cheesy. Liv read the card attached: “I got you these because you’re the only rose I need in my life. Happy birthday, sweetheart.” She also ate the grape Jolly Rancher stored in there, making sure they both had purple tongues by the end of the day.

Charlotte also likes the little things when it comes to Liv. Her smile when she’s scrolling on her phone, the way her hands automatically cover her mouth when she laughs, the way her eyes immediately seek Charlotte out to make sure she’s ok before resuming with whatever she was doing. Liv is shy with the big displays but has always let Charlotte know that she cares, which is more than enough.

Now you’re probably wondering: how do they get busy? NSFW ahead.

Liv has a sex drive that’s never fulfilled, especially when it comes to being with someone like Charlotte. Charlotte is so tall, so there’s so much of her body to kiss on and she isn’t done mapping out every dip and curve yet.

Charlotte has never liked quickies until she met Liv. Everything felt too rushed and messy, and sure passion and lust could do that to you but Charlotte would just rather keep it in until she could take her time.

“You’re so fucking hot, I have to taste you.” Quickies mean Liv is in charge, which is partly (mostly) why Charlotte likes it so much. Passion is in Liv’s element while intimacy is in Charlotte’s, remember that.

Speaking of intimacy, Charlotte will go the nine yards for special occasions. Candles, rose petals, champagne, baths and soft music are automatic. She wants to pamper Liv and Liv will let her.

They have equal standing sexually, which means Charlotte’s a service top and Liv’s a power bottom. Don’t get in my inbox about it because y’all wasn’t ready for this hot take. I said it.

On anniversaries, PPV wins, promotions, endorsements, hell even follower milestones and t-shirt sales, Charlotte’s breaking out the coconut oil for a celebratory message with a happy ending.

Liv will just fuck Charlotte unannounced, like “follow me.” “Why are we under the ring, Liv?” “They won’t find out if you keep quiet.” And if Charlotte had a bucket list, fucking under a ring hours before a taping would be crossed off.

Reeling it back here.

Charlotte loves Liv and the excitement the woman brings into her life. Not saying that Charlotte was boring, but ever since her and Becky split she hadn’t been doing much of anything.

Liv loves Charlotte because the woman is her rock. A sturdy foundation she can lean on when times get rough. Charlotte has a lot of experience in the ring and out so when it’s time to have heart to hearts Charlotte is an open book, there for Liv to read and assess.

The both of them together is Yin and Yang, a perfect balance. One is wild and crazy, the other is cool and calm. They actually made their relationship public by having purple tongues during one taping of SD Live.

Liv said the three special words first, and asked to date first. Charlotte was the first to ask to marry her. Of course Liv said no.

Charlotte was terrified until Liv kissed her and clarified the following: “Are you nuts? Of course I’ll marry you! Who in their right mind could say no?”

There you have it. @flairsbian take a gander will you

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #222

“hold your breath, my dear, we’re going under.”

Have you ever kicked a vending machine? No. Have you ever stayed online for a long time waiting for someone? Ha ha, yeah... I did that for Mini a lot when I was younger. Would you survive in prison? I can almost guarantee I'd find a way to kill myself, no. What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Probably ketchup. What do you have a habit of doing when engaging in a conversation with someone? Obsess over if I'm making eye contact correctly. Like the WHOLE time I will be thinking about it. Have you ever lost a pet in a tragic way? How did you cope? I had a lot of childhood cats run over, and that was always hard to see. As for coping, I just... did. What else do you do. Do you have a favorite classical composer? No. Mini skirts, slutty or stylish? Um, what you wear doesn't determine whether or not you're "slutty." They don't bother me. Do you like a partner who is clean cut or rugged? A mix. Pale or tan, which would you rather be? I like pale skin, I just don't like the texture of mine. The negative of pale skin is the fact you can see flaws more clearly. Is walking cats strange? (like walking dogs) No. What about kids on leashes? What do you think about that? That shit is wild. Teach your children better, or keep them in your sights at all times if they have some kind of condition that makes it challenging to teach them properly. How many piercings have you had, BESIDES ears, no one cares. Two. New tats in your near future? Whenever I myself have the money, my next tattoo appointment will be to enhance my Mark tribute one to better the galaxy texture. I love the guy who's done my tats so far, but there are better out there, and I don't feel he achieved my vision. This tattoo is WILD important to me; it has to be perfect. After that, a "new" tattoo probably won't happen until I have a job or I'm gifted money. How about piercings or re-piercings? "In the near future" is the criteria I'm guessing is still relevant? It depends on how quickly I lose enough weight for my collarbones to be clearly prominent to get dermals. I've been fucking stagnated for a year, though, so I don't know when the hell that's happening... Who would you like to hang out with? There's a lot of old friends and acquaintances that fit this. Next new thing you are wanting to try! Idk. Some sort of job I can actually accomplish. Would you ever visit a psychic medium? Definitely not; I don't believe they're legit. Are some days a waste of makeup? Um so idk if you know, author, but people wear makeup for their own satisfaction. If it makes you feel beautiful, then hell no it's not a waste. Do you watch any beauty gurus on YouTube? Okay I fucking adore Jeffree Star y'all. He's a goddamn Mood and inspirational as ALL hell in terms of his determination, work ethic, and open-mindedness. I watch everything he uploads ever, even though I'm not really interested in makeup. It's cool to watch though; it's an art to me. Do you have a PillowPet? No, but omfg. One of my favorite Christmas memories ever is the night my niece, when she was around two or so, was given one (or something like it?) the night before, we turned the lights out, and lit it up so the colorful stars were all over the room. She was absolutely marveling over it. That was the same night my sister revealed she was pregnant with my nephew, actually. That was a great night. Actually felt like a family. Do you have sleep paralysis? Thank FUCK no. Have you ever wanted an ex back, but found out they were dating someone? I've talked about Jason and Ashley before. God that was a bad. Bad. Fuck-ing. Time. Do you like Placebo? I don't listen to them. Has anyone ever carried you to bed? I mean as a kid, yeah. Idr as a teenager or adult. Would you rather have a wiener dog or an Italian greyhound? The greyhound. Dachshunds are precious, but as of semi-recently, I'm personally against breeding pets with damaging/unhealthy traits, and dachshunds are very susceptible to spine issues. Idk if greyhounds have any issues like that. Do your parents buy you most anything you want? Bitch we poor, no. What is the next craft you are going to make? Probably something for Sara for some special event. I don't think that's much of a spoiler, so I don't mind sharing it. Do you learn choreography easily? I was decent when I was a dance student, but no, I can promise you no. My memory is laughable. If you had to choose, would you rather be taller or shorter? Taller, I guess? Idk. Do you believe that Jesus will come back in your lifetime? No, I don't believe he ever will. What color is your winter coat? ... Shit dude, idr. Idk if I even have one, actually. What’s your favorite candy to receive on Halloween? Gimme all ur Reese's cups. Have you ever spent your birthday alone? No. Have you ever had a themed b-day party? I'm sure I did as a kid. Were you afraid of heights as a child? No. I am now tho. Which dollar store is your favorite? Here, Dollar Generals are everywhere and generally the preferred one, I believe. What food gives you diarrhea? Totally serious, most exceptionally "fancy" foods; by that, I assume things with lots of intricate spices and other ingredients. At least severe gas pains are almost guaranteed when I eat out somewhere. Have you ever had a lead role in a play? No. Ha ha man, I remember as an elementary school student though, we had a play where I SO wanted to be Snow White. What is the most fascinating part of nature? Evolution. I don't know how I once didn't believe in it. Would you ever go vegetarian? I am serious about returning to vegetarianism when/if I get to a weight I'm satisfied with (losing weight w/o meat is more difficult than with, particularly for an extremely picky eater). I wish I could be a total vegan, but I know I'm not capable of that. Once you actually learn about slaughterhouses and farm life... no. What berry is your favorite? STRAW!!!!!!!BERRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is your dream house? Something in the woods with a nice yard/outdoor decor, flowers, wildlife... What was the reason in you crying last? PTSD. Are there any movies in the theater that you’d like to see? The new IT and Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. What do you think of Coca Cola? It's my third-fave soda. What about polar bears? Gorgeous animals. I will R I O T if they go extinct. My best friend(s) are/is... Sara. When do you want to have your first kid? Never. I am faaar from cut out to be a mother. Which stovetop burner do you use the most? I don't cook, so. The times I've made eggs, uh... I think I use the bottom right? Do you use a dishwasher or wash dishes by hand? Ugh, we don't have one. What year did you graduate high school? 2014. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I should with how paranoid I am. What is your favorite gas station? Sheetz is the way to go down here. What have been some of your best garage sale finds? *shrugs* Idr the last time I went to one. Ever worked two jobs or more at once? Hell no. I wouldn't survive. How often do you check your email? Every day, mainly for school. What would you do if your ex came to you crying? It would depend on who. "The" ex, I don't give a fuck how I feel about him, he's getting a tight-ass hug because seeing him cry is awful, and I will always care about him to a certain degree. Well actually, I'd ask him before hugging; I don't know if he'd be fine with me touching him. Girt would get a big 'ole hug for sure. Juan, Tyler, and Aaron I'd ask if they wanted a hug. I'd definitely ask any of them if they wanted to talk/vent to me about whatever is wrong; I can't stand seeing people cry. What school do you go to, what grade? I'm a super late freshman in college. How do you feel about school? It's been a drastic change in my daily life and thus has caused stress, but nevertheless I'm ecstatic to be back because I'm actually making progress towards going somewhere. Are you still a virgin? So I know it sounds like it makes NO sense w/o details, but seriously, I don't know. We had "cheaty" ways to just barely skirt around it because at the time I was abstinent, but pretty sure at some point it became sex. Do you eat chips or crackers more? Man, I haven't had chips in a loooong time... though I love them, man. We have crackers at the house usually, and I snack on them occasionally. Is your bed next to a wall? Who doesn't have their bed against at least one?? Is your bed next to a window? There's one beside me against the wall. Do you have neat handwriting? I think so. The only thing I don't like is I write SOOOOOOOOOO slow. Would you rather be a singer or a dancer? Dancer. Would you rather be a musician or a painter? Painter. What did your hair look like in high school? Long and normally brown, but sometimes I dyed it black with colored highlights. Favorite flavor of hot chocolate? Normal?? What is your top priority in life? My happiness, probably. Have you ever made a gingerbread house? Yeah. Sucky ones, but they were gingerbread houses, lol. Do you prefer candy corn or conversation hearts? EW both are gross. Skeletons or scarecrows? I'll see you in the Skeleton War, fuckers. Who was the last non-relative woman you spoke to in person? My Writing teacher. What’s a topic you’ve drastically changed your opinion on? I did a TOTAL 180 on LGBT rights, and my former, intense pro-life stance has altered quite a lot to mostly pro-choice. What’s an achievement you hope to see humanity accomplish in your lifetime? Man, a lot... A total ban from plastic and finding an alternative for it would be great, as well as the cure of cancer and H.I.V. Make gay marriage legal worldwide. Make great progress on cleaning the oceans. I could go on and on. Do you know anyone who has a PhD? As far as personally, possibly. Like, obviously my doctors do. How do you feel when you’re the center of attention? *buys that red button that says "no" in various fashions solely for this occasion* Are you and your S/O Facebook official? She doesn't have a FB, but mine does say "in a relationship." Do you know anyone who works as a lawyer? Not that I know well anymore; a former best friend is in the process of becoming one, though. So proud of her. Which would bother you more: being told you’re not likable or being told you’re not sensible? Being told I'm not likable would really hurt. How many bedrooms does your house have? Two. Have you ever had a dream in which you died? Yeah. Does the thought of having wrinkles when you’re older upset you? Not really. Everyone gets them. Do you use Snapchat? No. Do you know anyone who’s struggling with addiction? Yes. What was your first job? And how long did you work there? I was a sales associate at GameStop. I was employed for like two months, but I worked very few days before I crumbled. Where is the last place you were other then where you are right now? School. How do you feel about the last person you kissed? I adore her. Lol, Lawl, Rotfl, Lmao, or Lmfao? (Which you use most) Lmao or lol. Have you/Do you know anyone that grows weed? Not knowingly to me. Do you really care about name brands? Not just for the sake of being a certain name; I do, however, care about the quality of brands, of course, such as taste for foods or being comfortable in clothes. Describe your favorite pair of jeans to me please. I don't have any. When I was actually slim though, I had a pair of maroon skinny jeans with a black dappling texture, and there were holes in them where the fabric was just black, and I loooooved them. Those and my leather boots was A Look. To wash in the shower, do you use a loofa? That's not the technical name for what I use according to Mom when I've called them that, but rather a body sponge or something like that, but it's like the same thing. Have you ever ridden on a horse? Yes, though not at a gallop or anything "real." Just at things like school fairs. Are you polite? I think I'm very polite, honestly. Do you prefer bright or muted colors? Bright, usually. Can you roll your tongue? I used to be able to after practicing all day once with a friend ha ha, but I haven't been able to for a long time. Definitely can't now with snake eyes. Are you a light weight when it comes to alcohol? No, apparently. Which accents can you emulate pretty well? British and country. How loud do you listen to music? Too loud, I know. Are you more awkward talking to people in real life or online? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, real life. I don't think I'm half bad online. Do you bruise easily? So easily that I was tested for anemia or whatever it's called where you bleed easily (the test was negative, thankfully). Despite feeling bruised, though, I usually don't have an actual mark. Have you ever bought pre-ripped jeans? All my jeans were. I hate plain, boring jeans. What are you most likely to spend money on? Tattoos, lol... I genuinely think I'm good with money, I feel because of the financial position I've grown up and lived in, although I have never had a stable source of income, so it's hard to really determine that yet. I'm quite sure I'll be fine, but I really do hope I handle my money well when I do and don't invest all my spendable (as in, not money that I'm saving for emergencies) money into just tats. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? Welcome to my life, lol. I'm at an age where it's starting to get embarrassing, but. Idk how to change it. What’s the weirdest way you’ve ever heard somebody die of? *shrug* When was the last time you (dis)liked someone without really knowing them? I dunno. I try to not do that. When was the last time you wore a mask? What did it look like? Hell if I remember. I don't even remember wearing any on Halloween as a child. What comes up on your recommended list on YouTube? Mainly let's plays or music. Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? Hell no, that wouldn't last long. How many true heart breaks have you had in your lifetime? One. Do you have any gay family members? My mom has a gay cousin. Who was the last person to sleep over at your house? Sara. Would you ever get a boob job? No; I don't care enough about them too. I wish they were smaller. I liked mine when I was a healthy weight, so, let's get back to that size, please. What would you think if you found out your ex was gay? Aaron, I think he actually is. Juan, trust me, he's not. Jason couldn't convince me he was gay even if he tried. I very highly doubt he'd be bi/pan, either. Girt, I would be surprised, but not like, immensely. I don't have a clue about Tyler and if he has any gay tendencies/history. Would you ever take someone back if you found out they cheated on you? NO SIR-REE. Do people ever compliment your eyes? Yeah. Would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn? I don't know. I used to feel REALLY strongly about porn just being a big 'ole fucking nope, but whatever man, we're sexual animals. Better you take care of urges yourself rather than, you know, raping someone or something. If I personally caught my s/o doing it, idk how I'd feel, but knowing me and my self-esteem, I'd feel I'd probably jump to the whole (if we were serious) "um hi I'm your fckng gf what am I not enough" thought path. I don't think I'd be livid, though. Ask the old Britt, and we would've broken up there, probably. Who’s the last person that hung up on you? *shrug* Do you have a common first name? Yeah. Have you ever been engaged? No. Do you have any tattoos on your arms? Four, currently. They're gonna be covered one day. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? No. Have you ever been punched? No. What do you usually order from Olive Garden? I will, without fail, get the spicy shrimp fritas and be the happiest human being on Earth. How do you feel about bats? I absolutely adore them. Do you get excited when you learn you have to dress up? Quite the opposite, actually. What brand of hair spray do you use? I don't use it. Do you like it when guys wear hats? I have zero opinion on this. Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's? I prefer Wendy's. If you type for awhile, do your fingers start to hurt? No. Are you the type of person who would study for a test for hours? No, I'm not. I generally don't even have to like, intensely study; I tend to learn upon reading things, or in like math, performing the actions just a couple times. "Studying" doesn't tend to work for me; if it gets to that point, it probably won't stick, regardless of how many times I try. Are you a lazy person? I hate admitting just how lazy I am. But I mean again, it also depends on what is at stakes. Does your house have a doorbell? Yes, though I actually don't know if the doorbell works... Favorite album? Ozzy Osbourne's Black Rain. Favorite farm animal? PIGS! Has your Facebook ever been hacked? No. Do you spell gray with an A or an E? I use the American spelling ("gray"). Would you rather get money or gift cards for your birthday? I would be perfectly and entirely happy with purely money for my birthday, because that equals tattoos, lmao. Have you ever spoken to a detective before? No. Have you ever played laser tag? Once on a double-date with Jason and our old roommates/friends. Do you ever share things on Facebook? Almost all I do are share things I support, find funny, find as inspirational or cute, stuff like that. I can confidently say the majority of people I even have as "friends" on there do not care that much about my personal life. Is anyone you’re close to in the hospital right now? I mean, define "close." My grandmother's going through chemo, but we're not like... my definition of particularly "close," though she's close-ish family, so idk. Is your Wifi protected? Of course. What did you have for lunch today? I didn't eat lunch. How often do people write on your Facebook wall? On my birthday, lmao. Does your phone have a cover on it? No. I'd say I want one, but way more than that, I want a new phone. Mine is godawful. What color was your swim suit this year? I mean my most recently-worn is black, but I think it'd probably be too big for me now. I haven't swam in a long time. Do ladders scare you? Yes. Do you have any pictures of you and your friends in your bedroom? No. How do you eat Oreos? I'm one of those people that breaks the cookie to eat the cream first. Who or what sleeps with you? My cat Roman. Do you know anyone with the same name as you? Yes, but spelled differently. Are you pro-life or pro-choice? Honestly, it's become almost embarrassing to say I was ever pro-life. I'm vehemently pro-choice now. What color LED is the display in your car? Okay so Mom's has a rainbow of options, but I think it's currently stuck on... purple? I think? How am I unsure???? I'm in it every day?????????? Who was your first kiss with? Jason, my first "real" boyfriend. What kind of milk do you drink? I'll drink anywhere between skim to whole milk, but I'm not really a fan of skim despite having grown up with it. What aren’t you afraid to stand up for? I'd stand up for gay rights if it killed me. Do you know anybody in the military? Loosely. What was the last hotel you stayed at? I don't have the slightest clue. Do you have any STDs? No. What’s your preferred salad dressing? YO the Olive Garden dressing is b o m b. Do you have a favorite NASCAR driver? No. Who’s your celebrity crush? I'm almost 24 years old ha ha ha hahaha I'm too old for a celebrity crush aha hahaa haa aahha ah hahaaaaaaaaaaaaa- What color is your fridge? Black. Do you know the metric system well enough to live in Canada? No, admittedly. What was the biggest bruise you’ve ever had? Tell me the place (on your body) and the story of it! Idr. If you have Etsy account - show the very last item you added to the favorites. If not - either skip or just visit Etsy and find one thing you like: I think I have one, but I don't use it. I don't feel like looking. What would you do if you knew that you will be single to your very death (even if you’re in a relationship now)? Nothing would change...? My relationship status doesn't alter my goals and such. Are there any exchange students at your school? We have a LOT of foreign students at my school, so I'd assume so. Have you got any half or step siblings? I have three (actually four, but I don't know one tho) half-siblings and technically a step-brother, but I don't see him as a "brother," really. What cars do your siblings drive, if they do drive? My older sister has a red car, and my younger has a... black Kia, I think? It's dark is all I know for sure, and I only know the brand because it's new. I don't live with either or see their cars frequently elsewhere, so idk. What about your parents? Idk what kind my dad drives, but BOY do I know my mom's car, lmao. It's an older white Kia (I think?) with the bumper fuckin zip-tied onto the car bc it was given to us after a dance friend hit a poor deer, lmao. Look, we don't complain, shit was free. Do you like kid’s movies? Yo I do NOT trust you if you claim you like NO "kids' movie." Describe your handbag. I'm actually gonna look it up. (https://sourpussclothingwholesale.files.wordpress.com/2016/08/night-owl-bag.jpg?w=584&h=364) When was the last time you had to take someone home? ME, never. I don't have my license because I'm terrified of driving. Who was it, and where did you take them home from? N/A Have you ever known someone online and then met them in person? Sara Jaaaaaane!!! :'> There are other friends I'd like to meet, too. If so, which website did you meet on? Sara and I met via YouTube when it was actually community-oriented. Have you ever been to the beach? Yeah, multiple times. Have you ever been kicked out of somewhere? Yeah, I guess. She didn't actually like, force me outside, but I had to call my mother to pick me up. Have you ever intentionally trolled? No. Did you get swine flu? No. What is your favorite type of cat? Aesthetically, I find Persians to be way too cute, though I don't support their continued breeding. It's literally abuse to breed animals that deformed. Do you support the LGBTQ community? I'm bisexual, so like- Have you ever eaten a veggie burger? Yeah, the Morningstar brand from Burger King (not the Impossible Burger one). It's genuinely not bad. If you could meet any major political figure, who would it be? I'm not educated enough on like, any, to properly answer this question. If you drink Monster, what is your favorite flavor? N/A Do you own any Webkinz stuffed animals? I was that Bad Bitch(tm) with like,,,, almost all of them back in the day. If so, do you have a Webkinz online account? It exists, but idr the password sobs. If you had/have a Club Penguin account, how old were you when you got it? I would have a character for like two days, not go back on for years, repeat a couple times... but idk how old I was. Do you own any Nintendo video game consoles/handhelds? GameBoys and a DS Lite, yes. What religion were you raised in? Roman Catholicism. Are you still that religion, if you had one? Far from it. What religion/spiritual path intrigues you the most, if any? Buddhism and Wicca. What ancient culture intrigues you the most, if any? Idk. Were/are you a teacher’s pet? Not like, the kind that sucked up to the teacher for their personal benefit, but if you mean just as in the teacher's favorite, yeah. Do you like pink lemonade? Hell yeah man. What’s your favorite U2 song, if you have one? I don't listen to them. Were your parents born in the United States? Yeah. Do women breastfeeding in public make you feel uncomfortable? I want it to be perfectly and violently clear that I fucking despise you if a child being fed fucking offends you. Why or why not? Because women's bodies aren't sexual fucking objects designed for your viewing pleasure. Write an unpopular/offensive opinion of yours here. I’m interested. Buckle up, lads. Seatbelts fastened? Ass properly in the seat? Airbags in place? There are two genders.

[jessethejoyful]

part three bc i’m weak-willed

more of this art school au that is dominating my life tbh 

read it here on ao3

BAZ

Class on Monday is an unexpected balm to my stress, and I’m feeling rather pleased with myself when I walk out. The professor was very complimentary, as they always are, but this felt different. Maybe because I’d felt so unsure about the piece. The colors had felt off, and I told the professor as much, but he told me it conveyed something private and almost intimate about me.

Which is cool, but a little scary. I don’t like to convey too much about myself, not to anyone.

Dev had texted me that morning about getting lunch, and I agreed to meet him in the student union after class, where several fast food restaurants had set up storefronts. I don’t have much interest in the food, but I do get myself a milkshake and let myself enjoy it. Meanwhile, Dev sits down with a tray full of fried food, and I try to ignore how the smell makes my stomach twist. My cousin might also come from money, but he never really acts like it. It’s almost refreshing sometimes.

Almost.

“So you ready for the show?” Dev asks, shoving food in his mouth like a cretin. He even talks with his mouth open. “Aren’t you taking like three pieces this time?”

I grit my teeth, fighting down the swirling stress that threatens at the edge of my mind. The art supply store in town is hosting another huge art sale party. I always attend with one piece, and am out of there before ten o’clock. That much of a crowd, milling around and talking about art - nope. My social anxiety doesn’t allow for it. But Fiona was up my ass this summer to do more (“You could be making a mint off these, Basil! What’re you doing, holing up with these at home, building yourself a nest? Don’t be such a coward!”) and I’d finally given in, if only to get her to shut up. I had three large paintings ready to go, but I still felt the nerves like a hot poker shoved into my side, burning me.

“Of course I’m ready,” I say through my teeth. “It’s in two days. Unlike you, I don’t procrastinate everything until the night before.” Dev grins at me, and he’s got a mouthful of food, and it’s horrific.

“Well, I can’t wait to see them.”

I stare at him, straw halfway to my mouth. “You’re coming? You’ve never come to one of my shows before.”

“Thought you might like some support.”

“What ever gave you that idea?” Dev shrugs and doesn’t say anything, focusing on his disgusting food again. “I… thank you.”

“You’re quite welcome, Basil.”

I head back to my apartment, my classes over for the day and with half a mind to take a nap, even knowing how it’ll ruin me later. Usually, I’d spend the rest of the night in the studio, but the sore ache behind my eyes is getting to be too much. And I’m hungry. I’m regretting not eating lunch, especially since that had been the point of meeting Dev today. My cousin had looked dubiously at my milkshake, but hadn’t commented.

In the end, I decide to go to the bakery down the street. The scone Snow had given me had been wrapped in paper with the store’s name printed repeatedly across it and it had actually been quite good, even when it was lukewarm.

When I step inside the cushy space, I immediately regret it, because there’s Penelope, Simon’s other friend, behind the counter. Another potential girlfriend? Probably not.

If I didn’t know any better, I would think this idiot boy is trying to take over my entire life. But it’s too late for me to step out, she’d called out a welcome when the door chimed, so I step over to the line. I stare hard at the pastries behind the glass without really seeing them.

“Basil!” Penelope greets me, and I’m taken aback by the friendly tone. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen you in here before.”

“I’ve - never come in.” I swallow down any snarky remarks, ready to make nice. “Snow brought me one of your scones the other day, and it was quite good. I wanted to see the source.” She smiles at me, and her chubby cheeks push up her garish turquoise glasses.

“Well, you came at a good time. Just took the cherry scones out of the oven. How many would you like?”

“Ah - just two, I think.” Penelope nods and pushes the glass open, wrapping the two pastries in wax paper before slipping them into a bag and handing it to me. “How much do I -?” She’s shaking her head, and I frown at her.

“Take ‘em. I’m glad we’ve a new convert, and I expect to see you in here more often, alright?” And then she winks at me, inexplicably.

“Yeah… alright. Thanks, Penelope.” She looks pleased, and gives me a small wave as I turn to go. I leave feeling oddly warm, if a bit confused by the kindness I’ve been shown by Simon’s two friends, after the treatment I’ve subjected him to. Maybe they’re all just too nice for their own good.

My keys are in my hands, hovering by my lock, when I have an idea. I go across the hall and knock before I can talk myself out of it, and wait. Snow could easily not be home. But then I hear a thump and a grunt inside, followed by a moment of silence before the lock clicks and the door swings open. Simon is staring at me, brow quirked and glasses on, half of his hair poking up like a rat’s nest.

“Yeah?”

I try not to frown as I dig into the bag and take out one of the scones, holding it out to him. He takes it slowly, looking at the pastry and then back up at me, eyes wide. And then I turn away, quickly unlocking my door and diving inside before Simon can get a word out. I shut myself in and lean back heavily against the door, breathing heavily and closing my eyes.

What was I thinking? What the fuck was that? Simon probably thinks I’m an asshole as well as a fucking weirdo now. Not like it matters.

Safely in my apartment, alone, I kick off my shoes and wander through to the second bedroom of the flat, which I’d converted for my use to a type of studio. But it’s carpeted, so I mostly use it for storage, supplies and paintings. The three I’m planning on selling are carefully leaning against the wall, staring at me.

One of them had sprung from an absolute fit, when I’d woken in the middle of the night with the shakes, drank three mugs of tea, and shoved paint across a canvas until I was happy (or as happy as I get) and went back to bed. The other two were from this summer, when I’d spent two dreadful weeks at home, closed into the studio my father had decked out for me three years ago for my birthday. That was the only good part of going back to the family manor. That, and my little sister, Mordelia. I give her a lot of shit, but I’m quite fond of her.

Those two pieces aren’t within my usual style. One is far more colorful than anything else I ever do, with flowering branches and a fading backdrop. The other was a fluke, some error of my subconscious. It was of a kneeling figure, a dancer, in her final resting position in the bottom corner of the canvas, bathed in dim light but with darkness surrounding the edges. It reflected Snow’s animation, and I hadn’t realized it until I was through. I might have painted over it, but it was beautiful, and I ended up keeping it.

I’m ready to be rid of it. After everything that’s happened, I don’t need any more reminders of Simon Snow. There’s no way he won’t avoid me now, and I try to tell myself it’s for the best.

I should make some tea.

PENNY

I’m exhausted when I get back to the apartment. The evening rush was hellish - we’d run out of filling for the eclairs, and I thought the roof was sure to fall it.

I might have been grateful if it had.

All I want to do is rip off my clothes, take a bath, and go to bed, but instead, Simon greets me at the door like a dejected dog, having another one of his stresses.

“He actually came into the bakery?” he asks, following me as I go into the kitchen to shove a piece of cake I’d stolen in the fridge. “Like, he was actually able to get through the door? I thought vampires had to be invited in.”

I look at him skeptically, furrowing my brows. “Simon - what? How is he a vampire? Aren’t vampires pale? His skin is nearly darker than mine.”

“With a widow’s peak like that, you’d doubt it?”

“He can’t help his hairline, Simon.” I’m too tired for this conversation. I continue to my room to put on my robe for the bath. Simon stays in the living room, but keeps talking to me, elevating his volume.

“Was he rude? Did he shove over the other customers in line? Did you see him put poison in my scone?”

“You ate it, didn’t you? You’re not dead yet. If you were, I’d have some peace right now.”

“It could be slow working!” I come out of my room, comfy in my fluffy yellow robe, and stare at Simon tiredly.

“He was incredibly polite, Simon. He complimented the one you gave him, and thanked me by name when he left. I don’t know what you’re getting so worked up over. He’s not out to kill you.”

“He’s a wanker, Penelope! You said it yourself, he’s endlessly contrary!” Simon leans over the back of the couch, spreading his arms at me wildly. “He’s trying to turn all the people in my life over to his side!”

“Simon, for the love of God.” I close myself in the bathroom and flick the lock loudly for good measure, making sure Simon hears it. I hear him groan, but he doesn’t keep trying to yell at me. I turn my music on loudly and start the bath water, sliding in before it’s finished filling and not minding the heat.

I glare at my nails. They’re caked with both flour and clay. That’s the struggle of being a sculptor - it’s all but ruined my hands and my nail beds. I try to let them soak in the bath, beneath the foaming fizz coming from my bath bomb, but I’m too fidgety. I dry my hands and reach for my phone, typing a quick text to Micah to see what he’s up to. Maybe I can convince him to bring me dinner.

Sure thing, he texts back almost immediately. Curry?

Perfect.

SIMON

This new job has honestly been really good. Even if it did take me a bit to figure out the register. It kept honking at me anytime someone tried to put their card in, and it took me too long to realize it was in the wrong mode.

Anna’s been very sweet, gently reminding me of things I forget when I need it. She blushes whenever I ask her a question and it’s kind of adorable.

It’s Wednesday, and we’re decorating the store for the event this evening, another one of the big local sales. Penny has two pieces she’s putting in, and I’m excited to see the party. I know a few of the other kids from the art school will be there, and I’m intrigued to see what they decide to sell, if I’d seen any of them hanging in the halls at school.

I can’t help but wonder if Baz will be there. Baz. Basil. I haven’t seen him since Monday with the whole scone thing. I figure he’s been holed up in his studio, being a recluse and hissing at sunlight, or whatever. I couldn’t help but take in the dark circles under his eyes the other day.

I don’t imagine he’ll be here - that would mean actually interacting with people. Smiling. Selling. I can’t fathom Baz willingly doing any of those things. The thought makes me snicker.

We’re closing up at seven for an hour, so we can all run home and put on nicer clothes. I end up taking a shower, trying to tame my curls to look a little more presentable, and dress in the smart suit Agatha helped me pick out. It’s sky blue, perfectly fitted, and I push the sleeves up to my elbows so my tattoos are visible. Blank ink wings, my designs, on the insides of both of my forearms. The white button-down underneath is well-fitted also, so if I get hot (which I tend to), I can easily take the jacket off and still look nice.

Penny finishes up about the same time, stepping out of her room and coughing. I look up from my phone and feel my jaw drop. She looks amazing. Her normally frizzy curls have been tamed into a sleek braided crown around her head. She’s wearing a deep green, flower-covered dress with a very vintage feel to it, with a boat neck and a natural waistline, and a pair of shiny heels finish the look.

“Holy shit, Penny,” I say, pushing up from the armchair, “you look - amazing. Seriously.”

“Such a way with words,” Penny says fondly, going to pick up the box holding her sculptures. I intercept, grabbing the box and slipping away.

“Uh-uh, no way you can carry these looking like that. I won’t have anything distracting Micah from how good you look!”

“He’s already my boyfriend, Simon, I don’t have to impress him anymore! Give me my stuff!”

“No way! I won’t drop them, Penn, I swear.” She glares at me, hands on her hips. “Penny. Trust me. I would never, ever let anything happen to these.” She finally relents about the time that there’s a knock on the door, and she goes to let Micah in. He comes into the room, raving about how good Penny looks, and I think he must have had a heads-up on her outfit. His suit complements her dress perfectly, a navy blazer with tan trousers, and a tie the exact green of her dress.

I like Micah, but the guy always makes me feel small. I’m not short, at a hundred and eighty-two centimeters, but Micah has to be nearly two hundred.

“Looking good, Simon,” Micah says, grinning at me with his blinding white teeth. “Working man. Congrats on the new job, dude.” He offers me his massive hand, and I grip it firmly, smirking.

“Thanks, Micah. Penny kind of forced me, but I’m glad she did.”

“I’m convinced she knows what’s best for both of us at this point. I’ve stopped arguing with her.”

“That is false, and you know it!” Penny calls from her room, where she’d left her clutch. “You argue with me constantly! About everything!”

“Only to keep you on your toes, babe!” She comes out of her room, snickering and shaking her head, and Micah stops her to press a kiss to her temple as she passes him.

“Ready then, boys? Simon can’t be late.”

Micah turns to me. “Want me to take her sculptures, man? I don’t mind carrying them.”

I shake my head. “No, no, I’ve got them, don’t worry.” He doesn’t argue, going to take Penny’s arm. I step out the door first, and they follow me out, locking up behind us.

When we get to the store a bit before eight, there’s hardly anyone there apart from the selling artists. Penny told me that people who aren’t selling don’t usually show up until eight-thirty or nine, so I’m not really surprised at how quiet it is. Anna is excited to see Penny, recognizing her from last time, and Penny takes a moment to introduce Anna to Micah. I continue on ahead, taking the sculptures to the spot where Penny wanted to set up, carefully placing the two beautiful sculptures on display before continuing to the back room.

My manager is back there, a big man named Alex, and he tells me my main role tonight is just greeting and talking to people, and making sure that the hors d’oeuvres and wine don’t run out. Which is fantastic, because I’m really good at talking to people.

I return to the main room, dazzled by how posh everyone looks, and approach one of the artists. It’s a boy I recognize from school, and Penny and Micah wander up and fold easily into the conversation. When it gets to eight o’clock, the door swings open, and I look over.

And there’s Baz, standing in the doorway and staring back at me, holding three canvases very carefully, another boy following him in and nearly running into him.

“Oi, Basil, go on, mate,” Simon hears the boy say behind Baz, and it’s like he gets an electric shock. He comes all the way inside and goes to set up, obviously used to the routine. I try not to watch him, but he looks so good in a fitted green and black suit (more posh than the rest of us) that I can’t really help it. I give him a few minutes to set up and get his bearings, before I excuse myself from my conversation and start over.

Baz actually meets me halfway, leaving his companion by his paintings, hidden from my view.

“Er, hi,” I say, trying for a smile, and it’s awkward. “I’d actually been wondering if you were going to be here.”

“I always come to these.” I’m startled, then look around the room for Penny, who could have (and should have) warned me. I find her watching us, looking smug. “But you’ve never been here before.”

“Oh. Well, no. I just started working here last week, and -”

“You work here?” Baz cuts me off, and I take a half step back. “Sorry, just - ehm, congratulations. On the new job. I’m in here all the time.”

“Oh! Thanks.” An uncomfortable pause settles over us, in which Baz adjusts the cuffs of his green blazer, a faint blush on his dark cheeks. “Thanks, by the way. For the other day.” Baz looks confused, so I add, “For the scone?”

A slight nod. “Just returning the favor.”

I figure he must be shit at things like this, but he’s actually working to be friendly. I make up my mind suddenly and offer Baz my hand. He stares at it like he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do with it.

“How about a truce, Basil? It’s clear we can’t avoid each other, you seem to be basically everywhere I go anymore - and you seem like an okay bloke. Maybe not friends, yet. But not all this bickering. What do you think?”

He stares at me, so fucking cool, like he’s just mulling it over, weighing his options. Finally, like a swan lifting its head, he raises his hand and places it in mine. His skin is smooth and surprisingly cold, but his grip is solid. “Alright, then. A truce.”

BAZ

I don’t know what to do with myself now. I didn’t expect Snow to be at this sale, let alone looking so fucking good in that suit. The color perfectly balanced with his skin and his eyes, it was hard to look away. I’m not ready to admit how badly I’ve got it for this stupid boy, when I don’t even know if he’s gay or not.

We parted ways after shaking hands, which had been almost too much, and I returned to Dev.

“Who was that then?” he asks, having watched the whole unfortunate exchange. “Guy turned bright red when he saw you. Nearly matched his hair.” I look sharply at Dev.

“Did he really?”

“Yeah, mate, I figured he was your boyfriend or something. Or maybe that you two were just fucking, I dunno.”

I nearly choke, but pass it off as a scoff. “Don’t be so vulgar, Dev, good lord. That’s Si-, er, Snow. He’s an animator from school.”

“He sure did seem pretty animated.” I can’t deal with this, and I leave Dev again to wander the floor and look at some of the other artists’ works. Penelope is there, standing beside two pieces that really are quite good, with a black boy who nearly dwarfs me.

“Oh, Basil!” Penny calls me over like we’re friends, and maybe we are. I step over. “Baz, this is my boyfriend Micah. Micah, Basilton Pitch. He’s a spectacular painter.”

I shake Micah’s platter-sized hand, surprised by the compliment from Penelope. I didn’t realize she was even aware of my work.

“Baz. Nice to meet you.” American.  A bit of a shock, but I don’t show a reaction. At least this confirms for me that Penelope isn’t Simon’s girlfriend.

“And you.” I clear my throat and step forward to look at the two pieces Penelope is selling, and they really are nice, but I don’t know enough about sculpture to give an educated compliment. “Those are lovely, Penelope. I can tell you put a lot of time and work into both of them.” She beams, and I think maybe I said something right for once. One of them is a smaller bust, with impeccable attention to detail, and I think she might have used Simon as a reference, because the nose and the hair look impressively familiar. The other is a bit more abstract, possibly two people embracing, but the colors are far more aggressive than the neutral grey of the bust.

I continue on, replying with a few quiet words to any greetings, but I keep mostly to myself. I’m painfully aware of Snow bouncing around the room like a hyper mutt, talking to pretty much everyone. I’ll glance at him now and then, because I’m weak, and always seem to catch him turning away, a blush spreading across the back of his neck.

Agatha shows up at some point, and she makes sure to say hi to me (and Dev, who’s awestruck by her), before going over to Penelope and hugging her and the American boyfriend.

I don’t see Snow again for another hour, when he finally wanders over, where Dev left me on my own to try his luck at flirting with Agatha, who clearly has no interest.

Simon smiles at me, shy again, and takes his time looking at the two paintings I have remaining. The flowering one sold almost immediately, to an older woman I didn’t recognize, and who gave me far more than my asking price. When his eyes slide to the dancer, I freeze, remembering where the idea came from. He goes stiff as well, leaning closer to the canvas.

“That’s -” He doesn’t continue, looking at me in alarm.

“I saw your animation reel at the student showcase.” No point in hiding anything now. “The ballerina clip… it was hauntingly beautiful.” He runs his hands through his hair, looking back at my canvas as I continue. “I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I wasn’t really thinking about it when I made this. But I realized when I finished, I’d tried to draw some of the emotion out of yours.”

He’s quiet for a long moment after I finish explaining, and I’m worried he’s going to get mad at me for plagiarizing or something. Instead, the eyes that turn to me are like pools of warm water, flickering under the surface, and I’m instantly drawn in. “Baz, this is - amazing. Really. You somehow captured - everything. All of it.” He looks back at it, and my heart catches.

This is too much of a soft moment for my cold, dead heart. “But the bit after the ballerina - two stick figures having a fight? Really? I was ready to shut the laptop off when that came up and ruined the mood.” He looks up at me, brows furrowed, but the look didn’t sit like anger.

“Two stick figures? What are you talking about? I didn’t put that in my reel.” I narrow my eyes at him, trying to figure out if he’s messing with me.

“Yeah, the clip immediately after the ballerina was two really shit looking stick figures beating the shit out of each other. You don’t remember?”

His eyes widen in sudden realization. “Fuck. Fuck! I hadn’t meant to leave that in! I’d put it in there as a joke when I sent it to Penny - I must have set up the wrong file.” He claps his hand to his forehead, bursting out in sudden laughter. “No wonder you wanted to shut it off! Christ, that’s embarrassing. I can’t believe that shit was playing at the showcase.”

I’m breathless, because watching him laugh is such a fucking gift. A gift from the universe that I don’t deserve. His whole body goes into it, his head going back and his legs tilting. I knew he was an idiot, though. Somehow, this doesn’t surprise me.

“Amazing. I’m almost impressed by your ineptitude, Snow. Such lovely work, and you manage to fuck it up.” He looks at me, ready to fight, but realizes I’m teasing and grins, breathing out a weak laugh.

“That’s me, the inept, lovely idiot,” he chuckles, and I wish I could tell him how much I agree.

[marcothepinata]

(I live in Scotland, this will make some of the content make sense)

When covid happened and we all got sent home i was fifteen years old.

I was preparing for my nat5 exams and a one year higher course that i was kinda struggling with. And then the exams were canceled.

I saw very little of my friends, i tried to keep in touch while i drowned in a workload that i was struggling to manage as my parents worked in the same room. I felt like i couldn’t complain because my siblings sat around the same table with the same problem.

We were deprived of a normal classroom environment or a school structure and were expected to self regulate. Honestly, i felt lost.

I learned to fear my mum’s disappointment and anger. Something that would cause a lot of anxiety in my life and probably still will for a long time.

My sixteenth rolled around and there was no clear end in sight and so we made do. Zoom and all that shit. Watched Twisted tho my mum made her disapproval of the scripts “reliance” on swearing for comedy quite clear.

My doon to be ex boyfriend forgot my birthday and after i told him he later turned up with chocolate, flowers that were on sale and a card that read: deal with me :(

I later dumped him for a menagerie of reasons but that’s not important (it wasn’t traumatic he was just kinda shitty) however the relationship did provide the last few connected dots for me to figure out i was asexual and later aromantic.

One good thing about not seeing many people is that you have a lot of time for introspection. I ended up questioning my gender after discovering the mechanisms and mother mother. Turns out my dislike for being called a woman was not because I’m trans but because I’m scared of having to “grow up”

Family time was mandatory a lot from my parents and while i liked what we did together, it was hard to keep us all happy as my younger siblings preferred to keep yo themselves much to my mothers dismay.

I feel like i have to be the shining center of positive energy for the three of us as my siblings mental health took a nosedive. One coped by calling friends, ranting to me and keeping it to themselves, not the best but it kept the situation civil. The younger one has taken half bottling it up and half sniping back at our parents which isn’t good for any of us. I worry about them a lot because i want them to get help for their undiagnosed neurodivergiancies that they definitely have. But even then, one can’t do thst for ages because he wants to join the marines to join the royal marine band.

I did have an escape tho. Three times a week i had zoom dance classes that the rest of my family had to leave me alone for an hour or two. I got to focus on myself in a way that was simple. It’s ok to get the moves wrong, you can hardly tell on zoom. It felt good to move or just to even move out of frame and listen to the music. It did stress me out sometimes and i have cried more than once because i couldn’t understand a tap routine.

A lot of this makes my parents out to be horrible. Trust me, they’re really great like 95% of the time. Until i fuck up which then it’s kinda reasonable.

Anyways, a years fuckin passed and exams are once again canceled because the SQA are shit but now the teachers are prepared. Now the teachers are posting regular work for Higher content and now i have a workload that i don’t know how to complete. I feel like I’m gonna fail maths and physics and instead of asking for help i ignore it like a twatt. And so i have files and files of unfinished work so the school phones home and then my mum blows up at me. SO MANY LECTURES. Could not be in a room with the woman without one for a while.

Having said that, i loved my german teacher. We had a small classso she did google meet classes as a whole class and in small groups so that she could help us. When i was struggling with directed writing she set up one on one meetings with me to give me help. I ended up with an A for that subject.

But when we were in class. The tests were constant. The teachers needed enough evidence for predicted grades and so there was that. Not fun but necessary i guess.

Also my seventeenth happened. I don’t really remember it much. Eurovision was involved. My uncle gave me an axe. I got older.

And then came sixth year.

Immediately tokd that this is supposed to be the best year of our school career and that we shouldn’t waste it. Great, if this is shit can’t wait for the rest of my life.

“Can’t believe that you didn’t go for head girl you would have been great”

UCAS. Applications. The pressure that comes with picking the courses and uni’s that you want to go to is immense. I sobbed so many times. I applied for a graduate apprenticeship as well, thinking that i had a decent chance of getting it. Rejected without so much as a reason.

So many clubs and hobbies came back and suddenly i was on full extracurricular throttle. Dance, rugby and musical theatre. I consider it worth it tho.

Advanced higher chemistry was hell. What was once a subject i loved now I’m failing miserably. We had to travel to a different school to do it ant the teacher was shit. She almost never clarified anything and at that particular school, one third of the course is self taught. Self taught my ass. Im sad i couldn’t grasp it in the time i had because i would have loved to fully understand the content and enjoy the subject. Hopefully i get to try again one day.

And then... the impending loom of exam leave because after that, i finished school. I had three exams and then i was done. Just like that. I dont miss the deadline stress but the safety that came with the system is something i think I’ll long for for a while.

I turned eighteen and it was fun but it has been non stop for almost three weeks now and i am exhausted. Kinky boots, Birthday, after party, final exam, party prep (cleaning the entire house), birthday party, London trip, friends coming out party, bar training, first shift and its kareoke night and myth con which i had to dm for.

I’m now eighteen and i graduate tomorrow. I feel like the last parts of my childhood has been stolen in a way. I feel like in those years there should have been something there but I’ll never know. This is my “last proper summer” and I’ve bern told i need to make the most of it while at the same time the same people say that i need to be an adult now.

I don’t know how

I don’t know

I don’t know what my future looks like. How the fuck am i supposed to live life in this nebulous black hole grey area between high school and university.

Be a kid, be an adult, make the most of it, prepare, spend time with friends, spend time with family, spend time on your hobbies, spend time on work, go out, have adventures, what time?

When can i stop?

Because i don’t know how much i have left

And life’s only just begun

[retro-hime]

The Ask Arcana Questionnaire

an awesome ass thank you to @fireflytrio for making this~!!

I have two apprentices so I’m filling this out for both of them. Essa and Valstyne. Essa’s will always be in bold and Valstyne’s will be italicized 

Part 1.) Characterization. Use these questions as a way to flesh out some of your character’s personality, background, likes/dislikes, etc.

Their surname?

Decesare

Castle

Halloween costume?

Devil/Satan but in like that scary attractive way. Could still kill you, but looks hot while doing it

Fairy

Familiar/animal friend?

Owl (or albino miniature dragon if lore allows)

Fruit Bat

Big spoon or little spoon?

Physically little spoon, emotionally big spoon

Both

Religious?

Not really, no

A little bit

Favorite fruit?

Blackberries and raspberries

Pomegranates

Idea of a nice date?

A rooftop picnic watching the sunset

She’s not too picky. Honestly any date is a nice date when you’re with the right person. But if she had to pick, it would be walking the beach barefoot and talking

Favorite season?

Winter

Spring and Winter and Fall and Summer... She can’t choose they’re all really nice

When is their Birthday?

April 12th (Aries)

January 23rd (Aquarius)

Favorite carnival ride?

Rollercoasters and drop towers. Anything that is scary as shit, like the zero gravity spinning thing

The spinning swings and hang gliders

Favorite emoji?

Devil emoji (Im on my laptop so I cant put them)

Any heart emoji and the eggplant and peach emoji 

Like to do in their free time?

Helping around town, eating, herbology/herbs, picking herbs, Underground fighting, sitting on the roof tops and throwing harmless stuff at passerbys

Astronomy/Constellations, astrology, people watching and then coming up with elaborate stories about them, helping the baker, walking/hiking through the forest

What sports would they play?

Kick-boxing or MMA

Track and field

What kind of car would they drive?

A big ass truck, preferrably Ford

SUV, those ones with three rowed seats. Or one of those rv’s or buses that were made into a cool mobile home.. So a mobile tiny home

How do they treat their significant other when they’re feeling unusually affectionate?

Lots of hugging and hand holding. She’ll go out of her way to get the person food (excessive amounts)

She would do a lot of amsall stuff, she’s already insanely affectionate, getting them their favorite flowers and giving them more kisses in random places than usual. Cooking/baking their favorite thing. Elaborate ass compliments

Favorite manga?

One Punch Man and Boku No Hero Academia

Ouran Highschool Host Club, Reimei No Arcana, and Kaichou Wa Maid-Sama... and Say I Love You

Main store to shop for clothes (if they lived in our world)?

Forever 21 or Hot Topic

Earthbound or any hipster thrift store and Platos Closet

What were they like growing up?

Very rough. She got into a lot of fights growing up. She was very protective of her mother and got into a lot of fights when the local kids and their parents would try to talk shit about her mother being a ‘witch’. Kinda like “call her a witch all you want Karn but you were just in the store yesterday getting a salve for that itch where the sun dont shine” 

She was a very sweet and quiet kid growing up and would make money helping everyone out around town. Her father was a surgeon and she would sometimes be required to help him out during his surgeries. So she doesn’t mind gore too much and started to really have a fascination with skulls. She has her mother and her fathers skulls in a glass case on a shelf in the shop.

What kind of drunk are they at a party?

Will kiss the person they secretly have a crush on, get more honest than usual, and will start fights. “i’ll kick your ass! i’ll kick my own ass!”

Dances on tables, becomes less reserved, the wholesome friend drunk where she’ll tell you how much she loves you. (Yuuri from Yuri On Ice when he got drunk. nuff said)

Reaction to someone telling a dirty joke?

"Oh shit that was good! Wanna hear a better one?!”

She would blush and snort/laugh at the same time. 

Reaction to stubbing their toe?

Creative ass curse words and then blaming the thing she stubbed her toe on.

“I curse you and your childrens children!” she screams at the table

Favorite color?

Dark colors, black red, black green, etc. 

Pastels~

Favorite See’s chocolate?

Dark chocolate

Chocolate and peanut butter

Favorite poptart flavor?

Gingerbread

Smores

Favorite hobby?

fighting for money

Singing and baking

How they sing at karaoke parties?

Refuses to sing, is only there for the alcohol

Sings loudly and seriously is drunk. She sings too well when shes not drunk but picks songs that people will hate. (Like Barbie Girl or any song by Aqua)

Preferred social media platform?

Reddit and Twitter

Tumblr

Opinion on puns?

Pun’s are the devils work, but god damn theyre funny. So shitty but so great. 

Has dad jokes/puns of her own

How do they typically deal with their problems?

Ignore that shit as much as possible until it is eminent

Push it down if it’s emotional problems. Other problems she tries to tackle head on because she doesn’t like putting off the inevitable

Spice girl nickname?

Death Spice

Honey Spice

Personal hygiene routine?

She showers every night because she always comes home dirty and her mom was big about being clean at night. She washes her hair every night as well

She showers twice a day and likes to make sure she always smells good. She washes her hair every other day and has a whole routine for it so that is stays moisturized and healthy.

Favorite alcoholic drink?

Fireball Whiskey

Rumchata

Favorite genre of music?

Any form of rock or rap/hip hop/r&b

Jazz or video game type music

Modern AU job/career?

MMA fighter

Vet

Favorite musical?

Hamilton and Sweeney Todd

Les miserables

How would they celebrate their significant other’s birthday?

Would spend a week planning and overthinking it. She would attempt to cook (which she can NOT do) and she would try to be romantic and would clean herself up and look really nice. It would be a personal dinner and a day spent doing whatever their SO wanted to do. 

She would wake them up with breakfast in bed and kisses. Then they would spend the day visiting their favorite places no matter the price and it would end with an elaborate picnic on the beach. 

Would they rather turn into a tiny rhinoceros or a giant hamster?

Giant Hamster

tiny rhinoceros

What would they do for their significant other for Valentine’s Day?

She would go to every a week in advance and would order a dish from each one to be delivered to the shop. She would send her SO out on errands all day so she could prepare it and would reward them with a surprise extravagant dinner.

Would wait until the day after when everything is on sale and shower her SO in the sweets that she binge bought. End the day in some intricate lingerie

Pros and cons to having them as a roommate?

Pros: Brings in money, can kick someones ass for you, knows how to take care of you when you’re sick, is good at cleaning.

Cons: Bullheaded, stubborn, is messy, sometimes won’t come home for days, cant. cook

Pros: Can cook, is homely, nicely decorates the house, house always smells good, makes sure everything is where it should be, likes to help

Cons: Skulls and bones (it usually makes people uncomfortable), superstitious 

On a scale from 1-10 how Extra are they?

8

5

Favorite meme?

Damn daniel and legally blind

Kermit self to self meme

Favorite three pokemon?

Gabite, Misdreavus, Haunter

Milotic, Sylveon, Staraptor

How tall are they?

5′4″

4′11″ and 3/4

Part 2.) Scaling. Using your best judgement, where does your fan apprentice fall on these scales?

[Example: Shortest to tallest?

Portia, Asra, [MC name here], Nadia, Lucio, Julian, Muriel]

Most to least superstitious?

Portia, Julian, Essa, Nadia, Lucio, Asra, Valstyne, Muriel

Most to least excited to be at a WWE event?

Essa, Portia, Lucio, Valstyne, Asra, Julian, Nadia, Muriel

Worst to best at handling children?

Nadia, Lucio, Muriel, Asra, Essa, Portia, Julian, Valstyne

Worst to best alcohol tolerance?

Muriel, Asra, Lucio, Valstyne, Julian, Portia, Essa, Nadia,

Best to worst at keeping secrets?

Asra, Valstyne, Muriel, Nadia, Lucio, Essa, Portia, Julian

Best to worst dancers?

Valstyne, Asra, Portia, Julian, Nadia, Lucio, Muriel, Essa

Most to least likely to slap you for stealing a mcnugget?

Essa, Nadia, Lucio, Asra, Portia, Julian, Muriel, Valstyne

Least to most likely to eat something weird on a dare?

Nadia, Julian, Valstyne, Muriel, Lucio, Portia, Asra, Essa

Least to most old?

Asra, Valstyne, Portia, Muriel, Essa, Julian, Lucio, Nadia

Part 3.) Extra characterization tidbits (whether you want to make a description or insert a photo for these is up to you!)

MC as a:

•MCR song

Mama

Sing

•vine

Kiss my ass (Summerella)

Any of the Thomas Sanders Vines of him narrating peoples lives

•a piece of furniture

Shelf (that way no one can fuck with her)

China Cabinet

•character from the Labyrinth

Hoggle

Jareth

•character in a cliche Noir film

Bad Cop who slaps the suspect around and uses unconventional ways to get answers. Has ties with the underground/black market in the city so they can get reliable information

 Knight in Sour armor, believes the world is good but keeps being let down. And Sympathy for the Devil, realizes the bad guy is no so bad after all 

•Tarot card

The Tower

Wheel of Fortune

•Micheal Jackson song

They Don’t Care About Us

Remember The Time

•character in the play “Cats”

I have no idea honestly

•Panic! at the disco song

Lying is the Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off

House of Memories

•cliche high school student stereotype

The delinquent that is actually really talented/smart

The eccentric weird girl that is friends with everyone of every friend group

•furby

•flight rising dragon breed

Mirror Dragon

Skydancer and Spiral Dragon

•deadly sin

Wrath

Envy

•DnD class

Barbarian

Warlock

•character from Mean Girls

Janis

Ms. Norbury

•hogwarts house

Slytherin

Hufflepuff

•cryptid

Jersey Devil

Shadow People

•monster factory character

Way too complicated for me to get into

[partlycharlie-archive]

give me toothaches just from kissin’ me

summary: “Hey- sorry to bother you, but is it okay if I sit here?” Dan didn’t bother looking up from the chemistry textbook splayed in front of them, choosing instead to grab a piece of paper on the table and study it intensely. “Not interested,” they muttered with a quirk of their lips and a short head shake. A pause, and then - “Oh. I mean? I-I didn’t think you were? But, uh, I’ll just. Find another place to sit, I guess. That’s-that’s fine.” (alternately: assumptions are dumb and love is dumber) word count: 3,503 warnings: misunderstandings, mentions of misgendering, fluff, awkward nerds!!!

this is for snowbunnylester - happy birthday! love you lots. (this is officially the longest fic i've ever written look at me being a nerd) read on ao3

-

Dan Howell walked down the unusually empty street with hunched shoulders, eyes slipping over the TD Bank on the corner (wow, they really never close, do they?) and the McDonalds across the street in favor of the glowing - maybe not actually glowing, but it sure felt like it - green Starbucks sign a block and a half ahead of them. They glanced into the nearest shop window and saw their image reflected back at them: a sopping wet flower crown balanced on wildly curly hair, an oversized white varsity jacket with sleeves that reached to their fingertips, and a pair of dark red Doc Martens that squelched with every step they took.

Looking down, Dan couldn’t help but notice the color discrepancy- the left leg of their ripped skinny jeans was almost definitely a darker shade of black than their right (if that's even possible), but they supposed it was just the result of their bulging messenger bag protecting their right leg from the downpour. Which - okay, yes, the weather in New York can be a bit ridiculous at times, but. It was July. Was this really necessary? They had gotten a fucking flash flood warning not five minutes ago, and it felt like something out of the movies.

Dan reached the doorway of Starbucks and started to pull the door open, sighing lightly under their breath when the door didn’t budge. They started to push at the door instead (what the hell is this made out of, anyway?), allowing themself a tiny grin when the door swung open and they were greeted with a blast of hot air. Dan’s eyes scanned the store, noting the empty table sticking out from the wall (odd, considering the weather, but whatever) and rushing to put their bag on one of the chairs.

They grabbed their phone and wallet from their bag (they made sure to double check their wallet for their debit card; they’d lost count of how many times they’d gone to pull out their debit card, only to realize they’d put it in their bag at some point) and walked over to the line winding behind the register. Dan shoved their wallet into their pocket, grabbing their headphones as well and pulling up their Spotify. Head bobbing to the music, Dan only just noticed when they reached the counter and smiled awkwardly at the cashier as they stepped up to the register.

Black and green hair tucked tightly into cornrows, showcasing a warmly tanned face; a flat nose, a full mouth. The standard Starbucks uniform - black shirt, apron (colored a shade of green that was probably copyrighted) tied above wide hips. Black skinny jeans, cuffs shoved into blue and grey sneakers. “Hey there,” ‘Katrina’ said. The cashier flashed a smile that almost seemed genuine. “How are you today?”

“I’m doing fine,” Dan replied with a smile on their face, slinging their Apple headphones around their neck. “How about you?”

“I’m doin’ fine, thanks. What can I get you?” Dan started.

“Oh! Yeah, sorry, I’ll have a- uhm. Grande caramel macchiato, with one of those cheese danishes, please?” Katrina nodded politely. Short nails tapped at the screen in between them, and a hand reached out to Dan, waggling elegant fingers in their direction.

“That’ll be $7.50. Cash or credit?”

“Yeah- credit, thanks.” Dan dug their wallet out of the huge pockets in their jacket (holy shit, god bless men’s clothes, seriously) and pulled out their debit card, inserting it into the card reader and pulling it back out.

“Alrighty. Name?”

“Dan.”

“Alright, Dan. They'll be calling your name in a minute.”  Dan nodded their assent.

They grinned at the cashier as they walked away (and so what if it still gives them a little thrill every time someone calls them by the right name?), and put their headphones back into their ears. The brunette belatedly realized that music had been playing the whole time (with the last bars of getting it on by SALES ringing in their ears), but mentally shrugged- they had a portable charger in their bag, and there was (conveniently enough) an outlet right next to their table.

Dan sat heavily in the chair with their bag on it, huffing as they did so (they’re twenty-one and already turning into an old man, jesus christ) but taking in the room with a lingering smile on their face.

They could still remember the first time that had happened- where someone had just gone along with their name and pronouns. It was when they were in high school - they’d been in the GSA club before they’d even realized they weren’t cis, but come their sophomore year they’d asked everyone in the club to use different pronouns, and they all just... Agreed? Dan had to admit, it was a weird sensation; even at that point, they had already been used to people trying to find ways around using the right name or pronouns (or even just flat-out denying them the ‘privilege’). To get that sort of thing now- where people would look at him and just think Oh yeah, that’s Dan? It felt absolutely incredible.

“Caramel macchiato and cheese danish for Dan!” someone announced. Dan hopped out of their chair again and grabbed the food, smiling their thank you to the worker behind the counter. They headed back to their table and set the drink and food on the countertop, pulling a laptop and their journal out of their bag.

One of Dan’s favorite things to do when they had work and it was rainy was finding the nearest coffee shop and letting the noise around them lull them into a rhythm - they had found that it was the best recipe for success, especially when it came to their work. Today they were hugely grateful for it, especially because they had a chemistry essay to finish, and they were only halfway through with it. Dan knew somewhere in the back of their mind that it was due in roughly half a week, but he really couldn’t afford to miss any more assignments.

Time passed, songs played, more caramel macchiatos were ordered, and -

“Hey- sorry to bother you, but is it okay if I sit here?”

Dan didn’t bother looking up from the textbook they had eventually placed in their lap, choosing instead to grab a worksheet from their bag and study it intensely. “Not interested, thanks,” they snapped lowly with a sarcastic quirk of their lips and a short head shake. No matter how many people accepted them, this sort of thing happened enough - hetero/cis/whatevernormative people assuming something about them based on the way they looked, or acted, or (god forbid) dressed, for God’s sake - that they knew how to go through the motions of shutting somebody down without showing how much it hurt. Maybe it was presumptuous of them, to assume that was what the stranger was doing, but was it a crime to feel safe rather than sorry?

A pause, and then - “Oh. I mean? I-I didn’t think you were? But, uh, I’ll just. Find another place to sit, I guess. That’s-that’s fine.” Dan’s head snapped up, simultaneously yanking out their headphones and taking in the clearly nervous form of the person standing in front of them.

Dan’s first thought was Holy shit, this guy is tall. Compared to Dan’s measly 5’6”, this guy seemed like a tower, and Dan estimated no less than 6 feet, at least. Cropped black hair, fashioned in a style similar to what theirs had been like before they decided to go curly. Bright blue - no, green - no, yellow - eyes, framed by a pair of thick and square glasses that Dan would assume were fake (all for the aesthetic - they’d do it too, if they lost any more dignity) if not for the thick and obviously prescription lenses inside of them. A black tank top with the words “MY TASTE IN MUSIC IS YOUR FACE” written in red and white; the word “FACE” is crossed out with white ink. Dark red jeans with the cuffs rolled up, black Converses with rainbow laces, a dark red cardigan that seemed to swallow them whole (in a good way?). A tall black umbrella - Dan could see a hint of sky blue on the inside. A hipster. Why is it that the only times they’ve ever been preemptively rude to people, they ended up not deserving it?

“Shit. Sorry! I just- I dunno, I get a lot of? Whatever, people are weird, but! Yeah, of course, you can sit here, no problem!” Dan scanned the table in front of them, belatedly realizing that they had taken up nearly the entire space with almost-empty coffee cups and chemistry notes that they used once and never looked at again. They blushed fiercely, avoiding the look of wry amusement that was sure to be on the stranger’s face, and busied themself with swiping their papers into their bag and carrying the cups to the trash.“Sorry about that,” they apologized, smiling sheepishly.

“No worries!” Hipster smiled gratefully, eyes crinkling at the corners, and plopped a galaxy-styled bag onto the floor, dashing away to (presumably) grab something to drink. The stranger came back with a disposable cup and a brownie (shit, Dan kind of wanted a brownie now) and plopped down into the chair opposite Dan. They reached into the galaxy-styled bag lying on the floor next to them and pulled out a plain black sketchbook and a blue pencil bag with the words “get carried away” printed in gold, scripted ink, immediately opening the book to a page full of some sort of half-finished abstract piece.

Silence ensued; after a couple of minutes of observing both the stranger across the table from them and the rest of the coffee shop, Dan let themself shift their focus back to the conclusion of the godforsaken essay they were still working on. They put their headphones back in, smiling softly at the sound of Nina Simone, and got to work.

 “... which, therefore, enforces the conclusion that radioactive elements can be used for a multitude of purposes over the course of their lifetimes." Dan sighed in relief as they typed the last word, and barely noticed the series of short knocks that sounded against the wooden tabletop.

They glanced up to see the stranger with a fist poised above the table and an awkward smile. Dan smiled back and paused Drummer Boy (by MisterWives - the band had opened at the last concert Dan went to, and they were hooked), pulling out their headphones and snapping closed their laptop with a cocked head. “What’s up?”

“Sorry to bother you,” they mumbled, rubbing their neck, “but, uhm- I realized I. Don’t have your pronouns? Sorry if that sounds really weird, but I’d rather not fuck it up, y’know?”

Dan’s previously hesitant smile widened into a grin - they weren’t trying to be pretentious, but they knew better than most how difficult it was to find someone who just asked for pronouns instead of assuming. In Dan’s experience, the only people who’d ever asked them about stuff like that had been people that already knew what it was like to be misgendered - or were close to someone who did.

“Oh! Yeah - it’s they/them, thanks. My name’s Dan, by the way. What’s yours?”

Hipster started to speak but seemed to reconsider their words. “Name or pronouns?” they asked, letting out a small chuckle.

Fuck. Dan drew in a sudden breath and felt their face contort into a full-fledged cringe, eliciting a larger bout of laughter from the stranger. “Sorry! Sorry - fuck, my mind is frazzled, oh my God. Both, if you don’t mind?”

“Yeah, of course! Don’t worry about it, it’s fine.” The stranger’s lingering laughter faded into an easy grin, and its infectious nature eased Dan into a responding smile without realizing. “Phil, and he/him. It’s lovely to meet you!”

Phil reached a pale hand over the table and Dan grasped it firmly, admiring the stark contrast in their hands - Phil’s hand was so large that it seemed to overwhelm theirs, much like the jacket sleeves they had pushed up to their elbows.

“So. What are you working on? It almost looked like you were ready to stab the damn keyboard with the amount of force you were putting into your typing.” Dan flushed, brushing a hand through their still-damp hair and rubbing it against the back of their neck.

“Ha - you probably don’t want to hear about it. I mean, I’m fairly good at chemistry, but even I know-”

“Chemistry?” Phil’s face lit up almost immediately, and Dan felt their cheeks heating up again. Looking at Phil’s smile felt like gazing into the sun, and they thought absentmindedly that if they stared for too long, they might be blinded.

They couldn’t say they’d mind.

“My favorite science is definitely plant biology - because holy shit I love plants so much - but chemistry is super cool too! I loved the titration unit - y’know, when you had to mix the solutions and the identifiers or whatever? It was so cool! The colors were all swirly; I felt like I was in the movies.” Dan grinned.

“Oh man, I know exactly what you mean. We finished that unit a while ago, so this paper is on radioactive elements- y’know, like carbon-14 and stuff? Yeah, we had to look into possible alternative…”

 “Hey- really sorry to bother you guys, but we’re actually closing up now? So…” Dan jumped, having been cut off in the middle of explaining of why they stopped straightening their hair by the awkwardly shifting employee. Phil glanced around the cafe, clearly just as surprised by the lack of customers as Dan was. The sky outside was pitch black - shit, what time was it?

“It's nine-fifty,” 'Theo' murmured in response to Dan's unspoken question.

“Holy shit Phil we’ve spent two actual hours just talking what the hell I’m so sorry for bothering you? Do you have anywhere you need to be? Shit I totally kept you oh man-”

“Dan. Don’t worry, okay? I don't really have anything I have to do - I'm definitely not missing out on anything, I promise.” Dan sighed gratefully and rubbed a hand down their face - who knows what they would've done if Phil had ended up missing out on something important.

They steadied their hands on the empty table - Phil and they must've both put their stuff away at some point - and pushed themself away from their chair, bouncing on the balls of their feet once they stood up. Phil stood up as well, super-cool bookbag in hand, and they walked out together after a sheepish “have a good night!”

They stood on the corner of 86th and 3rd, and Dan couldn't help but notice the way the light shined across Phil's face. Traffic was at a standstill and the neon red from the traffic light cast a glow on the man's face, as if Dan was looking at him through rose-tinted glasses.

It felt absurdly romantic, considering they'd only known each other for a couple of hours.

“Which way are you going?” Phil asked, gesturing vaguely.

“I'm headed towards the Q -” they pointed east, “- ever since they finished the line, I've basically been using it every chance I get.”

Phil grinned in response. “I feel you. I wish it connected with the 6, but we'll probably have to wait another century for that. I'm heading to Lex.” Dan pouted a little - maybe it had been a bit far-fetched, but somewhere in the back of their mind they'd been hoping that Phil would be able to take the train with them.

“Alright, well - guess I'll. See you around?” Phil's face flashed with something that looked vaguely like disappointment, but he nodded slowly.

“Yeah, definitely. It was great to meet you!” Phil stuck out a hand, and Dan used it to pull him into a hug, shoving their face into his chest. Phil flailed for a few (long) seconds before wrapping lanky arms around Dan's shoulders.

“It was fun talking to you,” Dan mumbled into his cardigan, smiling gently into the comfortable fabric.

“You too.”

Dan eventually pulled themself away, hopping subtly onto their tiptoes to brush imaginary dust off of Phil's shoulders.

“See you around,” they said, flashing a short wave. They pivoted on their heel, crossing the avenue (and thanking the god of social awkwardness that it was their light to walk) with hands in their pockets, wrapping fingers around the tangled headphones they'd shoved in earlier. They pulled out their headphones and untangled them, putting one into their ear when-

“Wait, Dan!”

They jumped, letting out a small squeal that echoed in their brain. Dan turned around slowly to face Phil, who stood five feet away from them with a hand outstretched as if he thought Dan would run away when their name was called.

Not too far-fetched, really; they definitely would've bolted if they hadn't recognized the voice calling out to them.

“Um. Hi?” Dan managed to blurt out before breaking into giggles. Phil soon followed, clapping a hand over his mouth to hide the hint of tongue slipping out between grinning teeth (holy fuck that's adorable).

Phil's laughter faded out, replaced with a bashful smile and a hand rubbing at the nape of his neck. “I, uh. Well- I realized you never finished telling me about your hair?” Dan raised an incredulous eyebrow, holding giddy laughter behind a bitten-down smile.

“Oh, really? I didn't know my story was that captivating.”

Phil scoffed lightly. “Everything about you is captivating, but that's besides the point.” His eyebrows lifted in surprise. He looked about as startled as Dan felt, and Dan felt their cheeks flush with surprised delight.

“Anyway. Maybe you could give me your number, and finish telling me some time?”

Holy shit.

What?

Dan didn't realize they'd said that last part out loud (probably with a wildly surprised look on their face) until Phil's face dropped, jaw snapping closed with a click.

“Oh. I mean? No worries? It's tot-”

“No! No, no, no, no!” Dan cut him off with a string of frantic words, shoving one of their hands through their already mussed-up hair and waving the other one wildly in the air. “Shit! Oh my god, no no no no no, I'm so sorry, oh my god, Jesus fucking-”

They cut themself off with a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of their nose with their fingertips.

“Sorry, I just- didn't expect that. Yes, yes of course, yes.” Dan smiled, more of a quirk of their lips than anything else, and Phil perked up with a hopeful smile.

“Awesome!” Phil pulled his phone out from his pocket and Dan entered their number in, saving themself under “danny boy ;) ;) ;)” and texting an “eyyyyy waddup boi” to their number with a satisfied nod.

“There we go,” they chirped, handing the phone back to Phil. The tall man stole a glance at his phone before shoving it back into his pocket, laughing at the contact name.

“Okay, so now this is goodbye, right?”

Phil nodded and smiled again, pulling them into another short hug. They went willingly and squeezed as hard as they could, bursting with a tiny giggle when Phil over-dramatically complained about not being able to breathe, jeez Dan, you're way too strong for this!

“Okay,” Dan said finally, dragging themself away from Phil's lanky frame. They trailed soft hands down the sleeves of Phil's sweater, stopping right above his hands to look up at him with a hopeful smile.

“See you around?” The pink flush on Phil's cheeks contrasted with the green glow from the street lights. He gave a tiny nod and, after a moment of hesitation, leaned down to press full lips briefly against Dan’s cheek.

It felt like clammy hands - whispered compliments - old rock music played as high as they could get it - a breeze blowing through their hair - legs intertwined - plants crowding the hallway of an apartment they didn't have yet -

Phil smelled like brownies once he got close enough, and Dan couldn't help but wonder what he would taste like if he got even closer.

Phil smiled softly (yet again, holy shit this guy is full of smiles and Dan feels blessed every time he sees one) at the small gasp Dan let out, flashing another tiny wave at the frozen person in front of him. He turned around quickly, almost tripping over a crack in the sidewalk, and rushed back across the street with shoulders that hunched to protect him against the wind. Dan watched him leave, letting the faint sounds of a Hozier song echo in their brain.

Dan pressed soft fingers to a frozen cheek (wow, how much more cliché can they get, really), feeling it puff up as their face stretched into a giddy smile.

This felt like the start to something good.

“and my baby's sweet as can be she he give me toothaches just from kissin’ me”

- work song, hozier

[gyrlversion]

Munchies’ Farideh Sadeghin Is a Regular at Her Local Slice Joint

Farideh Sadighen at L’Industrie in Williamsburg.

Photo: Christian Rodriguez

As the culinary director at Vice’s Munchies, Farideh Sadeghin’s days are split into two distinct modes of eating: “I make nice, really great things at work,” she says, “and when I leave I have random junky things like pizza and fried clams and hot dogs.” (As of this year, she’s also the host of “The Cooking Show With Farideh,” a goofy and candid stand-and-stir.) This week, Sadeghin realized she can’t go a day without chocolate, got in not one but three styles of pizza, had clam chowder and lobster rolls on Long Island, and celebrated her birthday with dinner at Keen’s and karaoke. Read all about it in this week’s Grub Street Diet.

Thursday, May 2 I wake up around 6 a.m. most days and either run outside or at the gym. I’m not a morning person, exactly, but I can get out of bed. I don’t drink coffee (well, once in a blue moon, but it makes me fucking hyper and nauseous). I also don’t really eat breakfast, so when I get home from the gym or whatever, I shower and walk to work. I live in Bushwick and the office is in Williamsburg, so it only takes around 40 minutes most days.

Once at the office, I started on the first test of a recipe for gluten-free almond-and-blueberry scones I was working on for “The Cooking Show.” I used only half a cup of blueberries and ate the rest. The scones came out good, maybe a little salty. They looked more like cookies than scones, which maybe I wasn’t mad about? Had to think on that. I wanted to riff a bit on strawberry shortcake, but with blueberries and maybe nectarines.

I showed Amanda, our kitchen manager, how to fillet a salmon, and we decided to pickle some, gravlax some, and cook some for lunch. My intern tested a recipe for the katsu sando from Matt Abergel’s book, Chicken and Charcoal. Had a bite of that, too.

I set up a station for Abra Berens, author of Ruffage. She made a recipe from her book, a stewed eggplant and tomato dish. I made it the day before so we had a swap and threw that in the oven to heat. She came and I took her to the rooftop garden to grab some random herbs and flowers to garnish the dish. I scarfed down some eggplant stew and a chunk of bread.

After she left, I started on another possible recipe for the show, this time for stuffies (a classic Rhode Island recipe; basically breadcrumbs, chorizo, and clams stuffed into some quahog shells and baked). They’re great, but have too much hot sauce, so I planned to remake them the next week. Amanda made a shredded cabbage and arugula salad with some lemon juice and olive oil and I ate a large bowl of that. Needed some greens. I also grabbed a handful of M&M’s, because also needed some chocolate. We always have M&Ms in the office as snacks, plain and peanut. (I keep a stash in the freezer at work, also at home. Chocolate is always better cold, IMHO.) We used to have peanut butter M&Ms which are the best, but we don’t have those anymore. I don’t know, fucking cutbacks, man.

I went to boxing that night (I have never been a “workout class” person, but a friend got me into this and I like it for my hand-eye memory stuff). I grabbed a glass of wine from the Four Horsemen afterwards and then wandered over to L’Industrie for a slice (the Farmer, with goat cheese, guanciale, crème fraîche, honey, and basil). I walk by it daily to and from work, and the pizza is awesome. I go almost every week. Always crispy and light, naturally leavened. I like to go in there and talk shit with Massimo, the owner, and Nick, one of the pizzaiolos.

I walked home and decided that I needed chocolate. There was none left in my freezer, but I managed to scrounge up the last Cookie Time Afghan biscuit I brought back from a trip to New Zealand in February. They’re chocolatey and crunchy. I thought there were potato chips in them … but, nope, Googled to confirm, and it’s actually cornflakes.

Friday, May 3 6 a.m. wake up. You now know my morning routine, except this time, I ate the other half of my cookie before walking out the door to work. There were chocolate crumbs, and you don’t want to waste those. They’re from New Zealand!

On Fridays, Vice gives us bagels and Peter Pan doughnuts. I tore a fourth of a bagel and slathered it with veggie cream cheese (honestly never, ever liked veggie cream cheese before, but I am a convert as of, like, a month ago). An hour later, I saw a box of doughnuts still there and broke into one of them, too. To any of my colleagues reading this, yes, I am the dick who breaks off pieces of the bagels and donuts on Friday, leaving remnants of dough, and I am not ashamed to admit it.

I tested a new recipe I’m developing for a peanut butter–chocolate tart with a gluten-free crust. Kind of like a Reese’s peanut butter cup? The crust was not good. At all. But the chocolate and peanut butter layers were fucking great. Also, cooked up some escargot that was leftover from a shoot and snacked on snails.

Our West Coast senior editor Hilary was in town so we baked an impossible flan together. It’s a classic Mexican dessert that I’m putting in our third cookbook. Basically, you pour some caramel in a cake pan, then chocolate cake batter, then a flan mix, cover it with foil and bake it in a water bath. The layers separate and once it is baked and cooled, you flip it out and the caramel is on top, then the flan, then the cake. It’s really good, but the version I’d been working on has been giving me some trouble, so I’m tweaking it.

Made some cookie dough to freeze for the Altro Paradiso bake sale Natasha Pickowicz organized to benefit Planned Parenthood. I love cookie dough and will eat it raw forever, always. Totally forgot that I had weed-infused cookie dough portioned out in my freezer that I should eat!

Also made some onion dip for a going-away party we hosted in the kitchen later that night for one of the founders of Munchies and executive producer, Chris Grosso. Detroit-style pepperoni pizzas, some steaks from DeBragga, roasted chickens, salad, cheese boards, ricotta cheesecake. Lots of wine. Maybe a little too much wine, TBH. Some cheesecake may have ended up on the ceiling? We ended up at a friend’s later that night with Archie’s pizza and freshly baked peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies. I was passed out, sitting on the couch, I’d keep waking up, they’d be like pizza is coming soon, I’d be talking and pass out again. You know how it goes.

I was sent home with a goodie bag of cookies. I ate a couple more on my ride home.

Saturday, May 4 Woke up early, despite being able to sleep-in. Ate a cookie. Drank a can of tangerine LaCroix (drinking an ice-cold can of soda from the can is my personal hangover cure). Popped in a slice of Vogel’s bread to the toaster (another souvenir from my trip to New Zealand). Vogel’s bread is the best bread, ever. Four-inch squares, pretty dense. It takes two go’s in the toaster to toast it. I slathered on some butter and Marmite (the NZ kind, not the English kind). It’s similar to Vegemite, maybe a touch sweeter. I LOVE the stuff. I know Marmite and Vegemite can be quite polarizing in general, but I lived in NZ for around seven years (I was working as a chef while over there) and became addicted to the stuff. My recent trip was the first time I’d been back in almost seven years, so I stocked up on all my favorite foods.

Vogel’s in hand, I grabbed my camping stuff (thankful I had set out most of it throughout the week so I had less to pack with my foggy brain). My friends Kim, Lili, Eleanore, and I drove out to Long Island to camp for the night. We stopped at Bigelow’s Clam Shack on the way and got a bowl each of Manhattan and New England clam chowder and mixed them. Not sure if that is something everyone does, but it is definitely a Maryland thing with crab soup, and doing it with chowder works just as well. Also got Ipswich clams (with tartar sauce for me) and coleslaw. Had a Budweiser. Oh, also shrimp cocktail. I’m 100 percent a seafood shack person.

Kept driving and stopped at Lobster Roll on our way to our campsite. Split a few lobster rolls, ate some fries, drank some wine. (Don’t worry, Kim was the designated driver.) Also had a chocolate egg cream. Grabbed some extra pickles to have with dinner.

Got to our campsite to set up camp. Drank wine on the beach. Built a campfire and ate cheese. A huge seagull grabbed our huge knob of blue cheese and flew off with it. We ate Manchego and gouda instead, plus oysters that Eleanore had grabbed from Greenpoint Fish and Lobster before we left the city.

Grilled up some hot dogs I had from Olympia Provisions. Ate those with spicy brown mustard and Dijon. Mustard is my favorite condiment, so I double down on my dog. Also topped it with crispy shallots and crispy garlic. Oh, and one of those pickles from before.

Had stowed away a Cadbury almond chocolate bar and ate a lot of that with more wine. A bit of whisky, but mainly wine, then crawled into my tent.

Sunday, May 5 Woke up to a lot of rain hitting the tent. It definitely sounded worse in the tent than actually being outside, but still, rain sucks when you have to pack up a campsite. Kim made a Spanish tortilla and stuck a candle in it. My birthday was on Monday, so they sang to me (I really hate when people sing HBD to me), then we sliced into the tortilla, topped it with lots of hot sauce. I should mention that this all happened in one of the tents since it was raining.

Drove out to the lighthouse. Didn’t get out of the car because: rain. Went into town to get coffee and some food at Anthony’s Pancake House. Kim got banana pancakes, Eleanore got the club sandwich, and I got mozzarella sticks. We wanted soft serve from John’s Drive-In, but the rain just didn’t really get us in the mood, so we grabbed some Cool Ranch Doritos and Cheetos for the road.

Got home and put away all my wet camping crap. Showered and got into comfy clothes for the couch. I cook a ton at work, so I usually opt for easy things when I’m home that don’t require a ton of effort. My fridge is often full of only condiments. Also eggs and flour tortillas and fermented bamboo shoots.

I made a box of ash-e reshteh from Sadaf Foods. Ash-e reshteh is an Iranian soup with noodles and beans and herbs. My dad is Iranian and made something similar growing up (minus the noodles), and it is kind of the perfect thing to eat on the couch when it’s raining (warm, filling, comfort food). He’d do it in the crockpot, and you would eat it for a week straight. The smell of it reminds me of my dad in a good way.

Monday, May 6 It was my birthday. Went to the grocery store and got stuff to make BLTs (one of my all-time favorite sandwiches). The grocery store had Peter Luger’s bacon, so I grabbed a couple of those and some sourdough, tomatoes, and lettuce. Also a Carvel ice cream cake because Tuesday was my colleague Peter’s birthday and we were going to celebrate our b-days with ice cream cake (mainly because I love ice cream cake). I bought some Klondike bars, too, because if I have learned anything about myself while documenting what I have been eating for the last five days, it is that I cannot go a day without chocolate. The guy at the register sang “Happy Birthday” to me which was weird but fine. Ate a Klondike bar on my walk back to the office. P.S. Klondike bars are a lot less thick than they used to be. What’s up with that?

Laid the bacon out on trays and baked it all, toasted the bread, sliced and seasoned the tomatoes. Duke’s mayonnaise, but only because we didn’t have Hellman’s. Ate my BLT standing in the kitchen (I often find that I eat while standing at work). Got mayo on my neck somehow. Also had sour cream and onion chips. Fuck, those are the best, especially with a sandwich. I usually put chips on my sandwiches, but in the case of the BLT, sour cream and onion chips are enjoyed on the side. If you’re not putting chips on your sandwich, you’re doing it wrong.

Was delivered a package of Bagel Bites and Totino’s Pizza Rolls. I had no idea from who, until my friend Laura texted me about a package. She’s visiting next weekend from Richmond, so I decide to not immediately open and bake them all, but pop them back in the freezer and will make them for her visit. Only the best for my guests.

Left work a little early and met my friend Kate at the bar at Keen’s Steakhouse. She got there before me and ordered some crudités. I have to say, celery is fucking great. I love a celery stick. Had a dirty gin martini, four olives. We ordered and split the prime-rib hash, a wedge salad, and creamed spinach. Switched to a Manhattan and drank two of those. Came out from the bathroom to a piece of Key lime pie with a candle stuck in it. Nobody sang. The crust was very good. The pie was, too.

Forced Kate to go to karaoke and sing some songs. I may or may not have a note in my phone of just karaoke songs. Pat Benatar and 4 Non Blondes were definitely sung. We were the only ones there, which, you’d think would be cool, but I kind of like seeing other people sing awkwardly. Finished the night with a Maker’s on the rocks. Maybe two?

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[foolsiwillshowthemall]

Farm Report:  Last days of summer

Friday the 26th.  Nearly the end of summer.  Time to reflect on what I've accomplished and what I need to do before the beginning of fall.

Also time to reflect on how this house seems quite large and empty for just one person.  I'll have to do something about that.

Robin has finished upgrading the coop, and slips me a letter mentioning that she's included an incubator in the new coop.  Now if I want to, I can breed my own chickens, completely avoiding Marnie's monopoly on animals.  It's a good thing that chickens have been genetically engineered to reproduce pathenogenically in this world, so I don't need to worry about actually getting a rooster to fertilize the hens in order to make fertile eggs.

Although, if chickens are all female, what's up with that rooster I hear in the morning?  Probably best not to think about that.

In addition to the incubator, the upgraded coop has room for 8 animals, and can house ducks. The chickens seem indifferent to the prospect of becoming parents.

Today, the traveling wagon had a pufferfish for sale, again.  I don't need it for the community center, but I still have that pending request from Demetrius, and with summer nearly over I'm not likely to catch one.  Might as well buy this one and clear that task off the quest log, even though I'll be doing so at a net loss.

When I arrive to drop it off, I find myself overhearing an argument.  Robin and Demetrius, who always seem like the most perfect couple, are having a disagreement.

Ugh.  Demetrius, when someone tells you to get fruit, they are obviously speaking in the culinary sense, not the botanical sense.

As seems to be the case more and more often in this town, they turn to me to settle their disagreements.  Seriously, what did you people do before I came along?  Anyway, I am well aware that a tomato is scientifically classified as a fruit, but I am also aware that if I tell people that I am growing fruit on my farm and then point to my tomato plants, they are going to look at me and wonder what is wrong with me.

Dammit, Demetrius, I know the 'correct' answer, but I also know how the word is used in the common colloquial manner.  Don't assume I'm stupid just because I'm working under a different context than you.

There's a common theory that Demetrius might have a touch of Asperger's syndrome or something similar, as he has a hard time relating to other people in non-scientific ways.  I'm trying to understand where he's coming from, but I think that ultimately I'm more likely to take Robin's side on this issue.

You're welcome?  I did side against him, but on the other hand, difficulties relating or not, Demetrius is determine to make this relationship with his wife work.

He's also happy to get the pufferfish.  I should probably mention to him that it's not from the local waters at all, and might not be valid for his research.

Now I have work for Robin again.  I want to upgrade my barn, but I only have about half the wood I need, so I'm also buying lumber from her. It turns out to cost a lot less than I expected - I only spend about 2000 gold on lumber, compared to the 25000g for the construction cost.  I may just end up buying wood straight from Robin for these projects for a while, while the forests on my farm recover.

For the rest of the day, I'll be exploring the mines, killing monsters and trying to reach level 100.

Those Shadow Shaman things have a nasty debuff attack that severely lowers your defenses.  Here I have valiantly fled into a corner while I wait for the effect to wear off.

Made it to level 100!  What treasure awaits me in the chest?  New boots?  Another sword?  Maybe an even more useless form of the slingshot?

Nope!  It's a Stardrop!  Max energy level permanently increased!  I was not expecting that.

There's also what appears to be a magma lake down here.  Maybe I'll try fishing from it later.

I decide, since it's early, to try exploring a few more levels.  Made it down to 103 before being mobbed by way too many enemies and deciding to nope the fuck out of there.

Saturday the 27th, bright and early, and Robin is at work upgrading the barn again.

Today, I can let the goats out for the first time, to see the outside world and graze under the warm hum of the lightning harvester grid.  Last night's storm has given me several more battery packs.

Gathering what will probably be the last blueberry harvest of the year.  This has been a very profitable berry patch.

I threw a few of the last red cabbage of the year into the kegs to see what would happen.  I got red cabbage juice out of it as a result.  I'm not actually sure what it is, but it sells well.

Clearing the brush and trees from in front of Grandpa's shine, and gathering a little more wood in the process.

Up to 50 kegs now. I think that's enough.  These should be able to handle all the produce from my farm until I decide to expand it again.

Asriel looks really happy.  Isn't that what we all wanted to hear?  Go, GoatBro, be free and happy.

Just don't eat any of the yellow flowers, they’re poisonous.

Farm is heavily overgrown with wheat now.  If I have timed this properly, this will all be ready to harvest on the first of fall, and will preserve the soil and the fertilizer in it over the change of seasons.

Spent the rest of the evening cleaning up the farm and building new walkways.  Double wide, extending all the way to the southern exit of the farm, and plenty of torches.

Last harvest of poppy honey for the year.  On the first of fall I'll plant fairy roses in all the apiary flower garden spots.  And, since I'm done building kegs, I may turn my attention back here and start building more beehives.

One last very profitable day of summer.  Not the best I've had, but I still made over 11K on blueberries.

Last day of summer.  One final harvest of hops is ready.  The wheat is growing tall, but isn't quite ready to harvest yet.

I get three final blueberries out of the blueberry patch.  Tomorrow, all these plants will be dead.

I don't need any ducks, since I already contributed both a duck feather and a duck egg to the community center, but I want ducks.  I just like the idea of having pet ducks around.  So it's off to Marnie's, to buy one.

The perfect name for a duck, of course.

Robin was not at work in my barn today.  I thought this might have been because she completed it, but it was still not finished being upgraded.  I wondered what could possibly have made the normally inhumanly dedicated Robin leave a worksite, and then I realized that the 28th is a holiday, and she doesn't work on holidays.

Though she's not working on my barn, she is still manning the counter at her place, and is willing to sell me recipes for things I can build.  There are several things I want to craft around the farm that she can teach me to make.

Compared to the last day of spring, the last day of summer is actually not very busy.  I'm not making any more sprinklers or expanding my farm much, only building some more walkways and torches for now.  The main upgrade going on is the barn and coop and other buildings, and that's mostly work that Robin has to do.  I think I'll go and see how I can help out some of my friends today.

I ran into Jodi while in town, and she was despairing about whether she'd have time to cook dinner.  (I'm not making it up, I talked to her and that actually was her in-game dialog).  Now, earlier Kent sent me the recipe for Crispy Bass, which is one of Jodi's favorite foods, and just today the cooking channel showed me the recipe for Roasted Hazelnuts, which is one of Kent's favorites.  I have time, and I have the ingredients, so I'm making dinner for these two.

With the onus of making the main course and dessert off her, Jodi is making a nice easy side dish:  popcorn!

Unexpectedly, the sound of the popping kernels has an unfortunate effect on Kent.

The popping sound is triggering him, bringing back memories of the war.

Damn.  Sorry, dude.  Jodi, douse the popcorn and never make it again.

I try to smooth things over between them.  Jodi didn't know that this would trigger Kent, but at the same time, Kent's PTSD is totally real and has to be respected.  He apologizes, but she also agrees to do her best to help him through things.

They are at least really thankful to get the meals I've made for them.  I deliver the meals, and then make my excuses and leave.

While I had the oven hot, I also made a chocolate cake to share with Abigail.  She was hard to find today, I searched all around town and eventually found her wandering back from the direction of the Wizard's tower.  What have you been up to, Abby?

Heh.  If, by neighbors, you mean we'll be sleeping right next to each other on the same bed, sure.  Your birthday is only a few weeks away, right?

End of the day, and end of summer.  Time for the Moonlight Jellies to make their appearance.  This year, my Glow Ring - that I haven't taken off since George gave it to me - will be adding to the lights on the shore.

Past your bed-time?  Robin, we both know that if this wasn't a holiday, you'd be working on my barn till dawn.  You don't seem to have a bed-time.

Marnie is being cautious and sensible, but I'm going right out to the edge of the dock to get the best view.

Kent and Jodi are enjoying the night together.  I wonder how many years it's been since he's seen this?

Emily, as usual, is being deep and philosophical and thoughtful about the evening.

Clint, as usual, is being self-absorbed and whiny.  This is why nobody likes you, Clint.

It is.  Mind if I stand here and watch it with you?

The jellies arrive, and the summer comes to an end.

Back at the farm, I take stock of the season and what needs to be done.  This was an extremely profitable year, financially at least.  I made a lot of money, and put most of it back into upgrading the farm buildings.  My farmhouse has one more upgrade left, but that's just adding a basement.  Abigail doesn't require that.  I have a shed with 50 kegs in it, and 40 Quality Sprinklers placed, which will make for a large recurring income source over the fall with little effort required on my part.

I have romanced everyone I want to romance, I still need to get friendship levels up with the rest of the townspeople but those can be done after I get married. I am severely low on ore and coal, again, but I expect to be able to explore the mines more in the fall and especially in the winter.  I do want to eventually reach the bottom of the mines at level 120, but as I'm already down to level 100 this shouldn't be a problem.

My main challenge now, before the end of the year, is to finish the community center.  There are three rare fish I need to catch, but they are ones which occur in fall and winter, so I still have that opportunity.  There are several animal products I need to get, which I may be able to do once I have the barn and coop completely upgraded.

[eldritchsurveys]

963.

5k Survey LVII

2901. have you ever written a letter to: a friend: a lover: a celebrity: congress/house/reps: the president/leader of your country: >> I haven’t written a letter since, like, middle school. 2902. Why are ciggarette companies allowed to manufacture and sell ciggarettes when they are so unhealthy and dangerous? They are getting rich on the deaths of the people you love who smoke. >> What do you mean, why are they allowed? Because, yes, it makes an insane amount of profit, and their corporate lobbyists basically pour vats of money into politicians’ laps. This is how capitalism works. This is one of many reasons why we hate it. 2903. Do you chat with people in an elevator? >> No. 2904. What's your favorite Jack Nicholson movie? >> I don’t think I have one. I mean, The Shining was good... 2905. Who should play the part of Superman? >> I couldn’t care less.

2906. Do you like when your friends and your mate's friends hang out? >> If this was a situation I could feasibly be in (as in, we both had solidified friend groups in the first place), I definitely wouldn’t mind it. 2907. Doritos or Cheetos? >> I hate both. 2910. Do you brush your teeth three times a day? >> Hell no. 2911. Should I stop making question swith multiple parts and just count each actual question as a question? >> Yeah, I’ve been consolidating them most of the time because it just irks me for some undefined reason. 2912. What gives your ego a boost? >> I don’t know. I’m not terribly acquainted with the feeling of having my ego boosted. Even with things like comments on my fics my brain will make up a flip side to be sad about so I can’t be too pleased, because gods forbid I ever feel just entirely good about myself. One fucking day... 2913. What knocks your ego down? >> A lot of things, lmao. 2914. Live and let live or live and let die? >> Er... 2915. What do you think of Damien Hirst's art piece Mother and Child, which is half a cow in formaldedhyde? >> I’ve never seen it and it doesn’t sound worth looking up. I don’t get how the title relates, either. 2916. Why is it that 70 percent of americans Do Not want to go to war with Iraq and yet we are going to war with Iraq anyway? Is this democracy? >> This country rarely functions like an actual democracy. Also, there are way too many political questions in this survey lately, let’s go back to talking about me. ~ 2917. Imagine you have two chices of what life you can live: One: You are provided with meals, medicine, clothes and shelter. You are always with your family. You can lie in the sun and smoke, drink, play, cook, etc.. There will be certain rules you must follow such as no killing, no hurting others, no leaving the commune you were born in, no stealing, no tv, no newspapers and no books. OR Two: You are turned loose in the world with nothing. You start out cold and hungry. You may stay cold and hungry forever but you also have the opportunity to try and make a life for yourself. This will take a lot of hard work and there is no guaruntee you will ever live comfortably. Which life do you choose? WHY? >> Here’s the thing -- having a meta option like this is fucked, because if you’re just born into one life or the other, you don’t know anything else. So you learn to live with what you’ve got, and it becomes yours. It is your lot and you will live with it (or commit suicide, I guess). But having to choose between one or the other... is a whole different thing entirely. Will you remember the choice you made? Will you wonder if it was the right one? Will you always be wondering that? How do you truly enjoy any life you’re given, if you know you could have chosen a different one? Every bad day becomes “I bet I wouldn’t be dealing with this if I’d picked Life A” and every good day becomes “see, I knew I picked the right life” and it’s just... it’s not at all how I’d want to live, let’s just put it that way. So, no. Roulette-wheel me without my ken and let me learn to live wherever I land. 2918. Why is there no 'Mr. America' pageant? Should there be? What qualities would YOU look for in a Mr. America if such a contest were to exist (like miss america he would have to be a role model)? >> I don’t care about pageants, I think they’re utterly absurd. 2919. If something offends you do you feel that it has no right to exist? >> If something legitimately offends me, yeah. Like, I can’t imagine any good reason why racism should exist... 2920. Why do advertisers seem to believe that guys will buy any product that a hot girl in a bikini is sitting next too? >> Advertisers believe that because of their market research and social observations. As flawed and manipulative and biased as all that can be. 2921. What would you do if your mom had a fight with a male acquaintance and you heard an answering machine message he left her cursing at her, calling her names and being very disrespectful? >> --- 2922. What do you represent? >> I don’t represent anything. 2923. What message does ___ send when given as a birthday present? flowers: slippers: candles: diamond necklace: gift certificate: cash: books: 2924. Have you ever completed a paint by number? If yes of what? >> Maybe when I was a child. 2925. How long has it been since you colored in a coloring book? >> A year or two. 2926. What have you been caught doing? >> ??? 2927. Does temptation make you do what you love? >> What??? 2928. Do you have an gadgets in the house that you don't know how to use? What? >> Probably, but it would just be a matter of looking up how to use it. Nothing terribly complicated. 2929. Do you read the instructions to things or skip them? >> It depends on the thing. Like, I don’t read the instructions to new laptops because they all basically work the same, but I did read the instructions to my gaming rig because it had to be kind of assembled and certain wires had to go certain places and shit like that. 2930. Will yu ever reach your full potential? >> --- 2931. Who is your biggest fan? >> I don’t know. Can Calah, probably. :) 2932. Who do you take care of? Who takes care of you? >> Can Calah takes care of me. I don’t take care of anyone. 2933. Do you think that lawyers should only argue cases when they feel like the client is in the right? If you were a lawyer would you argue cases when you felt like your client was completely wrong? >> I really have no opinion about this (and I would never be a lawyer). 2934. Is it sexy in here or is it just me? >> --- 2935. You are giving out your phone number to a HOTTIE by writing it on a napkin. Do you write a little note or draw a picture too? If yes, what? >> --- 2936. Can you fold paper into anything (a hat, a swan, a boat, etc)? What? >> I can do some basic origami but nothing fancy. 2937. How can a girl get a guy-she-is-dating's mom to like her better? >> --- 2938. What is one theory about life or anything that you came up with that no one else has? >> --- 2939. Do you like answering questions about: your life? Oh, brother. Formatting this is going to be so annoying... your taste? tv? music? art? politics? life? religion? issues? sex? loved ones? favorites? objects? math? philosophy? hypothetical situations? things that require lots of thought? 2940. The mortuary science department is having a bake sale. Does this strike you as funny? >> No, because I can’t figure out what the joke would be. Like, if all the baked goods were shaped like organs or something, that’d be amusing. Otherwise... ??? 2941. What would you think of a new reality tv game show where real life criminals on death row competed in life threatening tasks for the prize of a reduced sentance? Did you know that they are considering making this a show? Would you watch it? >> I wouldn’t watch something like that, no. 2942. What was the last song you looked up the words to? >> I don’t remember, but I did think about looking up the words to Dragonsong from FFXIV and trying to memorise them. It seems like it’d be a fun exercise to try and sing it. 2943. What Saturday morning cartoons do you like? >> I don’t even know what counts as a Saturday morning cartoon anymore. Is that still a thing, or has cable basically phased that out? 2944. If anything's possible, then is it possible that nothing's possible? >> I don’t know, man. 2944. What does the T in T-Shirt really mean? >> I don’t know. Google does, though. 2945. Would you alter your routine if there was a sniper in your area? If so how? >> My routine mostly involves being indoors, so I doubt I’d even have to change anything. 2946. Is castration a good punishment for extreme or repeat sexual offenders? >> No. 2947. If you are a girl have you ever experianced penis envy? If you are a guy would you still want to live if you had to be castrated? >> --- 2948. Imagine you are teaching a class of sixth graders. A the start of the year you tell them, "If you come away with class and have learned only ONE THING, I hope that you learned....(finish the sentence) >> --- 2949. If you were being interviewed for a job in a clothing store how would you sell yourself to the prospective employers? >> I wouldn’t. It’s retail, dude. Either hire me or don’t, but don’t expect me to do some kind of song and dance for it. 2950. How do you stop pop up ads? >> uBlock Origin.

[asksansweredpdf]

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself? i feel like it was teenage rebel - chameleon circuit hahaha

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? well, i often do tarot spreads for this. but i guess i would ask - you know. i’m not sure

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life? literally just surviving it all

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise? maybe a few work ones, or the time not long ago i was put in a group assignment for uni. we all decided to meet up after our group presentation for drinks and hang out and i had a really fun time making new friends and hanging out with people

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? oh man i would have WAY less anxiety about everything. knowing that nothing i do will matter in a year would be so freeing and liberating. i’d probably get a new job and actually get my motorbike license and go for rides 

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things? i don’t have a bucket list but i’ll try to think of 3 things i’d like to do before i die -

this has been in my drafts for days and i honestly can’t think of a thing. 

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood? nope

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person? honestly i can’t remember. oh! i think maybe 6 months ago i got high and started over thinking and got sad and started crying. my roommate walked past because i forgot i had the door open and hugged me and then left after a bit

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them. ideally, it’d be a close friend. but i dont have those. so maybe if i could go back in time and stargaze with an old friend. otherwise, my current friend hj is cool! actually, i’d love to get high and stargaze with him.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them? i have before. but no, i wouldn’t now. i’m not like that anymore

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you? it was 4 months ago, with my old best friend’s ex-boyfriend (i think they broke up? i dont talk to either of them anymore). i used to be close to him anyway, like we were also best friends. and we used to be roommates.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom? i’d love to look my mother in the eyes and say “i’ll never forgive you” but. it doesn’t feel right as much as i mean it. i guess i’d like to say it to both my parents. but i have to pick one person. .... i guess i would get my old best friend who i havent spoken to in 6 years and say “i’m sorry. i missed you for years. i’ll always love you” or something equally dramatic

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes? i have them and i love them. they’re so beautiful

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally. i’m picking a few because fuck the police “being human is a condition that requires a little anaesthesia” was from the bohrap movie. relatable mood. reminds me of my mother which makes me uncomfortable “fall down 7 times, stand up 8. higher, further, faster” from captain marvel. i’ve been through soooo much fucking shit in my life. and i feel like it just keeps coming (well. the shit keeps coming and it don’t stop coming and it dont stop coming and it dont stop coming and it dont stop coming) and sometimes i wonder what the point of it all is. like what’s the point of trying to be happy when i’m just going to be let down again. and so it’s encouraging to change perspective from that to, we get up higher, further, faster

“my skin has gone from porcelain, to ivory, to steel” - sansa stark  it ties in with the captain marvel one. in that shit just keeps happening. and i feel the same way. i used to be so free and naive and i’m not that person anymore. i guess it makes me feel less alone. 

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far? “

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars? buy a house for myself, buy a few investment properties so that i know i’m always secure financially. put a couple million in the bank. buy houses for my friends and family, donate the rest

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way? yes and yes. i feel like i’m really understanding, and so i forgive people when it’s understandable. but once it’s past a certain point, i’m not at all forgiving. i hold grudges too. i like being this way

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self. “hey kid. happy birthday! well, this is where things start to get really hard. you’re going to go through a lot even though you think you won’t. people are going to leave you and treat you despicably and betray you. almost everyone you love will completely screw you over. you will have no one to count on except yourself. i’m not saying this to scare you. but i want you to know that even when you feel like it’s too much to handle, you’re so much stronger than you’ll even realise. you have so much turmoil ahead of you, but i love you so much. you’ll come out the other end with anxiety and so scarred. but you’ll survive it. all of it. you’ll survive. there’s no lesson or greater purpose. i’m not going to tell you that it all happens for a reason, because it doesn’t. just trust that you have what’s in you to face anything. once day this will all feel like a bad dream and you’ll start to feel like yourself again. best of luck. ps there is no god”

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel? punk

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain. love them both. they’re hot and cool

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not? nah, i only wear make up to work. and that’s because i work in sales. part of getting people to like you is being attractive. make up makes you more attractive. when people like you, you have more influence over them and you make more sales

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. runaway by pink. that song just. what a mood. and family portrait. i relate to both of those songs so much. even when i was going through shit, i had that song that i could sing and even though things were never okay, they made it bearable

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them. be kind to each other?

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel. 1st was a pink concert i went to when i was 15! we were super poor so this was a major deal. i waited in line for ages and my back started hurting real bad. but as soon as she got on stage everything went away. it was electrifying and she performed my favourite song. and i had eyeliner on which i cried off because she was my idol and it was amazing. her dancers were also super hot and i re-affirmed my bisexuality because i was like. wow. yes 2nd was lana & borns. my sister made me go with her to see lana del rey who i dont really give a shit about. she’s cool but im not like a major fan. borns however, i adore with every fibre of my being. borns was the opening act which was cute. i was one of the only ones in the crowd who knew him and everyone behind me was like gasping and talking about how cute he is. which also re-affirmed my sexuality. up until that point i thought that maybe i was a lesbian because i didn’t tend to find men too attractive. but borns? nope, i knew i was bi. then lana came on. it was okay. i knew a fair amount of the songs and apparently pissed everyone off by singing? i just thought that’s what you did at concerts dsjgdslkr but i had fun.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say? i would love to get a letter from an old best friend of mine saying sorry & that we should catch up. i feel like i havent had a friendship as full of connection as the one we’ve had. it’s been years and i still dont have anyone that could possibly replace her. but i worry that if we ever did try to re-kindle things it just wouldnt work out. which would lead me to ask myself if there was ever going to be anyone else who i’ll have that connection with. but it’d be nice at least

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised? i don’t have a desk! i had one for about 3 months and it was organised. i was always too poor to afford a desk and it just wasnt a priority when i used my bed

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine? go upstairs, lay in bed, read .... words, stay up until my eyes are closing for me. sleep

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know? my parents opinion literally means nothing to me. i wouldn’t care what they do/don’t know. i guess id prefer if they didnt know about the drugs because my mum did them a lot and it led to her being abusive. so they’d be suuuper judgy and probably take them off me and shit. but once im moved out, i dont really care. they wont be able to do much about it

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why? i’d love to have a shaved thing. my hair’s already short. but my dad’s homophobic and doesnt want me to get it short. i dont give enough of a shit about it to argue with him so i leave it. but if i could, having a cool shaved thing would be nice

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do? i dont think i even have 5 friends, and if i do, we certainly don’t have fun together. i’d just go by myself. i’m lots of fun to be around when it’s just me

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them. i wish for a job that has stable income, consistent hours, a kind staff, and is something that i’m not constantly fucking up. - i wish for this because i feel like getting up every day to do something that doesn’t give me panic attacks (that i might even be able to enjoy) is such a dream. and if it gives a stable amount of money and hours, i’d be able to plan things and have a life instead of worrying about them calling me at literally any given moment and asking me to work. which means i’d either have to work or stammer out an excuse on the spot & have the managers be mad at me i wish for a living space that i can afford & is either by myself or with people who aren’t terrible. or with people who can’t fuck me over if they get mad at me. this would step 2 of being happy for me. having a job that doesn’t make me anxious = job that could make me happy. living space that is secure and mine and that no one can take away = reduction of anxiety and security = potentially being happy.  i guess i’d use the 3rd wish on having a car or motorbike. being able to get around without relying on anyone or public transport would be nice. i can go to places whenever it suits me and i’d be independent. i can just decide to go to an art gallery without it having to be a major planning thing or something that would take 2 hours to get to and from. it’d be very liberating 

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up. omg! last halloween. i borrowed an old friend’s witch costume. it was this cute corseted dress with a mini skirt & suspenders that attach to stockings. i bought a matching wand and witches hat. i looked super cute

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high? i havent done terrible things under the influence hey. i mostly just have fun and keep to myself.

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars? i dunno man. one million dollars is a lot of money. surely any of my usual morals would fly out the window. murder would become questionable. like it’s $1 million. i guess maybe not murder because if i went to jail then i wouldnt be able to spend the $1m. mass murder of like children and innocent people i probably wouldnt do. even if i got away with it

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why? 1 song would be maybe americans - janelle monae. it’s a tune and you can listen to it for any mood really 1 person? i’ve purposefully gotten rid of any person i would want to only see for the rest of my life. not in a murder way, i just cut ties with them

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love. many a time. it’s a really nice thing! not just romantically. but for me, i just suddenly can’t stop thinking about them. like every spare second i have i’m wondering what they’re doing, thinking about our inside jokes, planning what i’ll say next, wondering what to wear to impress them next, planning how i’m going to work this funny story i want to tell them, etc. and i won’t be able to stop smiling whenever they’re around. the worst giveaway for me is when i can feel myself excessively talking to other people about them. and i can’t stop.  it gives me something to think about that makes me happy. something that makes me happy to distract from usually the shitter things.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair? i am a girl and i have really really short hair. i rock it. i also rock black nail polish

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone? i hate coffee. so i usually order a white hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows. i’d trust anyone to order it for me. as long as they didn’t screw up and get me the white chocolate mocha, which has happened a few times 

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now? alcohol. music! probbaly music before alcohol. i love music. cigarettes. and my phone