#florida was for Disney world when I was a kid and we didn’t see any other part of the state

[raeathnos]

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[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #653

Top Ten Disneyland Paris Rides, circa 2024

I've just come back from holiday, and as usual my main thought is that once again the house wasn’t flooded, burned down, or robbed whilst we were away (ha, suck it, burglars!).

However, as I've settled back into the daily grind, my thoughts return to pleasant times abroad, and the fun of the holiday itself. Because – and this was semi-planned – there is some synchronicity with last week’s list, when I ranked my favourite rides/experiences from Walt Disney World and Universal Studios in Orlando, back when I visited them as a child literally thirty years ago. You see, we’ve had a fantastic week-and-a-bit in Paris, France (as they say Across the Pond), rounded off with a chaser of Disneyland Paris. And so, partly to keep the magical flame alive, and partly to reconnect/reinforce/rehash last week’s list, I'm going to rank my favourite things from the European wing of the Disney Empire.

My criteria are a bit different this time around. For one thing, I was travelling with kids of my own. This put a spin (no pun intended when dealing with theme park rides) on the sorts of attractions we prioritised; not just the fact that we didn’t go on any inverted coasters, but also because there was a strong desire to ride Dumbo or see Stitch. To be fair, I've never been too much of a thrill seeker, so eschewing the loop-de-loops wasn’t really too big a deal; although I would have quite liked to go on the Indiana Jones coaster, which sadly was the only ride in the park Daughter #2 was too short for. But I didn’t mind giving the Avengers ride or Hyperspace Mountain a swerve. All the same, I was – to a certain extent – seeing the park through their eyes; as much as I enjoyed basically everything about it, the only thing I really did that was just “for me” was wander around the (sadly a bit sparse) Avengers Campus, and geek out because there was a giant version of one of Ant-Man's size-changing discs poking out of the ground.

The relative sparseness of Avengers Campus has prompted me to give a very short review of Disneyland Paris as a whole. I can’t really compare it to the park in Florida; I was twelve and in awe when I went there, and had little real understanding of how much effort and expense it was to travel halfway across the world to ride a make believe DeLorean. But we went to France at a funny time: the park is being renovated, with the entire “Studio” section getting a whole revamp. No longer themed around the movies and the productions, it’ll be “Disney Adventure Park”, or something like that; the areas currently themed around Pixar movies and Marvel movies will remain, and will be complemented by a Frozen-themed zone and – eventually – one based on The Lion King. As such, in 2024, some parts are closed off, and there are big fences up whilst construction is ongoing. It wasn’t too intrusive, really – especially as we had to deal with the fact that the entire Champs Elysees was shut for the Paralympics Opening Ceremony on our two days in Paris – but it did make life a little awkward. More serious, I think, is the way that certain areas either feel a touch underdeveloped – Avengers Campus, for instance, which could do with another themed ride and maybe some cool Easter eggs or photo areas (Mjolnir, anyone?) - or have a theme that doesn’t quite work (Discoveryland was originally designed around Jules Verne-style steampunk sci-fi but now is more space-y, with a Star Wars zone and a Buzz Lightyear ride; it gives it a somewhat disjointed aesthetic, with the gears and rivets not quite matching with Star Wars’ iconography).

This sounds like I’m sticking the boot in, but really I think the overall theming and design of Disneyland is so strong that the areas that don’t 100% hit the mark really stand out. To be honest, I wasn’t sure what it would feel like going back as an adult; but the magic I remember from childhood genuinely did return. It’s not the rides, as such, it’s the whole vibe of the place; back then, and now, I just love wandering around exquisitely themed locations, travelling through artificial palaces and constructed villages, marvelling at the – for want of a better word – set design of the place. And everything they do to make it exciting for kids is just tremendous. I balked at the price and the length of the queues, but to be honest the cast members are doing a fantastic job of living up to the image and personality of the characters they inhabit. Donald Duck even threatened my wife. What more do you want?

Anyway, the long and the short of it is, I really loved Disneyland Paris and despite how stupidly expensive everything is, I’d love to go again. Certainly not till after the Frozen stuff is built, maybe not till after they finish the Lion King stuff either. But what about the rides? Well, here you go: my official ranking of the best rides and attractions and whatnot at what used to be known as EuroDisney.

And, yes, of course I bloody loved Paris as well. It was a fantastic holiday all round. I felt suffused with culture, I climbed the Eiffel Tower, I explored the Paris Catacombs, and then I met a six-foot duck and watched drones form the shape of Elliot from Pete’s Dragon. It was a good week.

Big Thunder Mountain: I said we’re not much of a roller coaster family – my kids had literally never ridden one – but Big Thunder is great. The whole styling of the piece – the environment, the queue, the lot – is gold; it sells the mining experience. It’s a good length, the ride itself, and sufficiently exciting, with loads of fast turns and ups and downs, some good bits in the dark, and some great views as it snakes in and out of its mountain. Plus, to the delight of some, it has no inversions. Perhaps it’s a “my first proper roller coaster”, but it’s so deliciously exhilarating that no one minds. A classic.

Ratatouille: The Adventure: probably the closest a ride at DLP comes to my memories of Back to the Future at Universal Studios, this brilliantly combines huge-screen immersive visuals with an exciting (but not too thrilling) track ride. In little rat cars, you scamper in and out of large environments, as the massive screens surround you and bring you into the story. Lots of immersive elements and excitement, it manages to be both fun and cute.

Star Tours: The Adventures Continue: I loved this back in the nineties, and it feels like it might have changed a bit but the core experience is still there. You still get the immersive queue, with animatronic droids (and Mon Calamari!), and the whole vibe of taking a commercial tour trip. Then the ride itself kicks in, an exciting (and now 3D) simulator experience, as you hop from one Star Wars environment to another. It doesn’t tie together quite as well as I remember, and it feels rather short, but it’s so quintessentially Star Wars, and so exciting, that you won’t really care.

Spider-Man W.E.B. Adventure: another one where it’s all sold brilliantly by the surroundings, as you enter a science campus and help Peter Parker with an experiment. There’s much to enjoy and much that’s amusing (it’s nice that Peter’s classmates all appear to be other teen superheroes). The ride itself is really just a series of huge videogame screens in 3D, but it’s so cool: you have to “thwip” your hands to fight little spider-bots, and it tallies up the scores of everyone in your car. It’s tremendous fun, and – like Star Tours – does an excellent job with immersion into its world.

Buzz Lightyear Laser Blast: similar to Spider-Man, maybe skewing a bit younger, but also – I'd argue – a bit harder to play. You go round a slow track, with physical guns attached to your car, and you have to shoot at Zurg and his evil robots. It’s like laser tag, basically, with a Buzz Lightyear twist. It might be a bit slow, and I’m really rubbish at things like this, but again it’s good fun – and, again, it records your scores so you can mercilessly mock/be mocked by your family.

Phantom Manor: ah, a classic! Not sure why it’s not called Haunted Mansion like it is in the States (I consistently referred to it as “Phantom Menace”) but it’s basically the ride I remember from thirty years ago. It’s really just a slow-burn track ride – a ghost train, essentially – but it uses all manner (manor?) of trickery, from some great projection to two-way glass, to sell the idea of corpses and ghosts and whatnot. It starts out quite spooky and then just gets onto Skeleton Dance weirdness fairly quickly, so I don’t think kids will be too traumatised. More’s the pity.

Dumbo the Flying Elephant: Daughter #2 has loved Dumbo – the character and both the movies – for years, so this was a must-see. And whilst it’s essentially just a cute merry-go-round, there’s a slightly more thrilling aspect in that the little Dumbo cars really can go quite high. Pleasingly, you’re in control – you make them go up and down – so if you want to get a really cool elephant’s-eye-view of the park, you crank that sucker up like you’ve got a magic feather.

Crush’s Coaster: I’m sure there are a lot of people visiting Disneyland Paris who’d be surprised at how low this features. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a very exciting ride. A more intense coaster than Big Thunder, this has you sitting in somewhat-spinny shells as you rocket through the ocean, with lots of banked curves and fast drops. But the shells didn’t rotate as often as I was expecting, so if you’re facing backwards, you’re like that for most of the ride – and as such don’t quite see as much of the nice Finding Nemo stylings. Also, it’s pretty short; it feels over before you know it. So whilst I had a lot of fun, considering how popular it is – it's got one of the longest queues in the park – I think if I’d waited ninety minutes to go on it I’d be disappointed. As it was, we got there first thing - “rope dropped it”, as they say – and didn’t have to wait long. So that’s my review: fun but short, like Danny DeVito.

It’s a Small World: I love this ride. I know it’s cheesy, I know it’s tame, I know it’s daft, I know that it’s potentially problematic in its stereotypical depiction of multiple cultures even though I also know its heart is in the right place. But all those things combine to make it so supremely enjoyable and adorable. And let’s face it, it’s iconic, right? We all know what they were taking the piss out of in Shrek.

Stitch Live!: everything I’ve listed so far has been a proper ride, but Disneyland is also great for experiences. These can be everything from a formal character meet-and-greet (and those are genuinely great), to walk-through dioramas or just fantastically designed and engineered scenery (there’s a dragon under the castle!). Or you can go see a show! We all love Stitch in our house, and this interactive animated show is a delight, although I would argue that it possibly skews a bit young. A cel-shaded CG Stitch talks to the audience from the screen, calling out people by name and picking on the parents. It’s funny, it’s cool (I can imagine, for a kid, having a cartoon character speak in real-time would blow their minds), and it’s very Stitch-y. However, as well as skewing a bit young (which I guess makes sense), it doesn’t really include the children very much, more focused on making fun of the grown-ups; maybe that’s a necessity (data protection? Fear of upsetting the nippers?). Also, worth reminding your kids that Stitch isn’t really there, only on a screen. But! Still good fun.

Blimey. Lot of good stuff I guess! Anyway, it was a fun holiday. I’d wholeheartedly recommend it, except for the fact that it’s bloody expensive. I don’t necessarily mean “it costs a lot of money”, even though it does; it’s just that, well, for the same amount of money you could probably have a week on a beach. And I’ll tell you something else for substantially less than the cost of a set meal at Walt’s: after spending two days with kids at Disneyland, you could do with a week on a beach.

[just-call-me-the-intrusive-thot]

Soulmate September - Day 7

Day 7 - There is a string tied around your pinky that only you can see, the end of it leads to your soulmate.

Pairing(s): Kid AU! Intrulogical

TWs: Remus being Remus [though not overly so, he’s like, 9 here], some swearing

–

Remus Castillo and Logan Smith were two very different children; former was creative and bursting with chaotic energy, while the latter preferred to be more logical, more stable. One studied hard into the night despite his young years, the other decided that a good time was filling a blender with crayons and silly putty to see what would happen. Both attended different schools, lived a good distance apart, and neither of their families knew the other existed.

What could possibly bring together such opposing forces?

If your answer wasn’t being forcibly dragged kicking and screaming from the local museum by security for tampering with the exhibits and screaming about historical theft, then congratulations; you’re most likely still sane.

How did these very different children meet, you ask? 

The story began on a Friday lunchtime - as all good stories often do - when Sanders Elementary and Faraday Academy For Gifted Children both booked their museum visits for the same time slot. Thankfully, the museum staff speculated that they could indeed handle two classes of fourth graders at once - those poor, unfortunate souls - and decided to start both classes off on either sides of the museum with a little overlap.

Logan entered the foyer with his peers, gazing around at the array of trinkets and treasures adorning the space. Though he hungered for knowledge of all kinds, his heart was set on the cosmos, reaching for a copy of the museum’s map when his hand was blocked by another. He recoiled and turned to face the other; a boy with tanned skin as opposed to his own pasty complexion, with wild green eyes that bore into Logan’s own, and a grin like a shark about to snap Logan’s hand up in it’s jaws.

“I call dibs, four eyes!”

Logan huffed, straightening his glasses, “There are plenty of maps to go around, there is no need for rudeness-”

“Why do you talk like you’ve got a stick up your ass?”, the boy asked with no hint of remorse nor shame, “Just talk like a regular kid, jeez!”

Logan was flabbergasted. No one had ever talked to him like that before. Then again, no one ever really talked to him in general. Perhaps that was why his lonely little brain could only think to stammer out, 

“Who ARE you!?”

The boy roared with laughter, “Wow, thats all you have to say!? And they call ME weird!” , he shot a hand out towards Logan’s, not removing the one touching the map, “I’m Remus! What’s your name, frankenstein?”

Logan huffed, “Logan Smith. And you know,”, he began, puffing his chest out proudly as he yanked the map away, “Frankenstein was the scientist, not the monster, therefore, you’re not insulting me-”

Without hesitation, Remus leant into Logan’s space and licked the map, causing Logan to jolt back and drop it. Picking up his spoils, Remus chuckled manically, “You look smart but you’re super dumb. Frankenstein IS the monster, dumbass, that’s the whole point.”. Without waiting for Logan’s rebuttal, Remus made his way back to his class, leaving Logan to frustratedly grab another map and return to his class, unaware of the string that formed around his pinky…

The tour was everything Logan had hoped for; an informative romp through space and time, enjoying the sights of the planetarium and a walk through a tunnel lined with geodes. And yet, all Logan could think about was that stupid boy who stole HIS map. Hmph! How dare Remus call him stupid! Whatever, at least they would stop soon to have lunch in the Polar Exhibit and he wouldn’t have to think about- 

Oh god dammit.

As they entered the wide circular room, he laid eyes on the boy from before pretending to have gotten his tongue stuck to the giant fake iceberg in the centre of the room. Cheering him on was a gaggle of other children while their teacher seemed more content to just eat his own lunch and try to pretend it wasn’t his problem. Logan huffily stormed over to the nearest empty seat and popped open his Big Hero Six lunchbox, ready to moodily munch his jelly sandwiches when a painfully familiar voice stopped him in his tracks.

“We meet again, professor!”

Great.

“Remus.”, Logan hissed, though he tried to maintain composure, “A pleasure, I’m sure but I must be-”

“- crazy to run away from your soulmate?”, Remus finished, leaving Logan, once again, speechless.

“E-Excuse me!?”

“Check your pinkie, dingus.”

Logan checked and finally noticed the string, and to his horror, the end of it that tied itself around Remus’ pinkie.

“Looks like you’re stuck with me for life! Unless I die, then you’re stuck with my corpse. Oooh! Maybe you can bring me back to life! Really earn that Frankenstein nickname-”

“This HAS to be a mistake!”, Logan squeaked, flustered and shocked by the news, “There’s no way YOU are my soulmate!”

Logan made eye contact with Remus and for a moment the boy looked hurt, but he plastered on a grin and poked Logan in the arm, “Nope! Fate thinks you’re my future husband, so suck it!”

Groaning, Logan let out an exasperated sigh, “Fine, then I suppose you should tell me about yourself, Remus.”. Logan would - for eternity and a day after - deny that the smile Remus gave him made his little heart flutter for the first time.

As the two ate, Remus went into a long tangent about his life and Logan found himself absolutely fascinated. 

Remus Castillo had a twin brother, Roman, who enjoyed Disney movies and being “an overly wordy drama queen”. They had a single father, much like Logan’s own, whose wife had apparently decided she was destined for greater things that didn’t involve unplanned twin boys (Remus’ words, not his). Logan listened as Remus told him all about his family’s culture, having moved from Aguascalientes to Florida a year ago for work related reasons; retelling fond memories of watching the parade of Calaveras along the Avenida Madero with his father and brother each year. Logan found Remus really enjoyed a mixture of colourful and morbid subjects, each tangent sending Remus on a fun winding road down memory lane or through a vague memory of some educational book.

Logan Smith had wanted nothing to do with the boy who’d licked his hand and stolen his map, but as lunch ended and both classes were being called away to their respective classes, he found he didn’t want to be separated from Remus.

Very apparently, Remus didn’t want to either. If they way he was gasping Logan’s arm and hauling him towards the class from Sanders Elementary instead of his own was any indicator. 

“Come on! You can hang with us! Roman won’t mind! And my buddy Remy’s lotsa fun too-”

“Remus Castillo, stop right there.”

Remus indignantly ignored his teacher, plowing through his sentence, “You’ll LOVE my class, they’re all weirdos like us-”

“REMUS!”, barked his teacher, already done with the nine year old terror, “You let that boy go this instant!”

Remus defiantly clung tighter to Logan’s arm, “No!”

“Remus Castillo, you’re to let go NOW.”

“But he’s my soulmate!”, Remus yelled, causing his classmates to chatter excitedly. It made Logan feel a little self conscious, but Remus didn’t seem to care, “Pleeeeease let him come with us!!”

His teacher rubbed his temples as if it could massage the exhaustion away, “That’s nice, but you are NOT going to cause more trouble, soulmate or not!”

By now, even the children and teacher from Logan’s academy were watching the commotion. It came to a head as Remus’ teacher tried to separate the two of them, earning the tiniest war cry from Remus as he stomped on his teacher’s foot and clung fully to Logan like his life depended on it.

“I’M NOT LEAVING WITHOUT HIM! I’LL STAY HERE UNTIL WE’RE A GROSS MUSHY PILE OF SKIN AND BONES IF I HAVE TO!”

With that pleasant image in his brain, Logan decided to perhaps appeal to his own teacher,

“Miss, can Remus perhaps stay with our group so we may avoid further-”

“Absolutely not,”, she turned up her nose at Remus’ display, “Our school has a reputation to uphold, I will not have it sullied by such a rude child.”

Well that backfired. Now both teachers were having to try and separate the two of them. It took two of the museum’s security personnel to finally haul Remus off of Logan, carrying the writhing child as they assured his teacher that they’d put him in the tantrum room. With the way they handled his feral yelling and attempts to grab at any nearby exhibits for something he could use to bash them with, this probably wasn’t their first Rabid Child Rodeo.

Logan watched dejectedly as they hauled his soulmate out of sight while his teacher ordered him to get in line as they continued their tour. He couldn’t focus on any of the various bewitching artifacts that the guide presented to them on their tour of the ancient world though, all he could think about was Remus. Alone. Stuck in some room. Missing out on the exhibits. Missing him.

“....Emile?”, Logan asked the boy standing to his left.

“Yes, Logan?”

“I’m about to do something very, very impulsive.”

“.... Okay?”

“And reckless.”

“...Right-”

“In the name of fate.”

“........”, Emile sighed, “What do you need me to do?”

“Either talk me out of what is likely a terrible decision that will without a doubt go on my permanent record and possibly disappoint my father. Or encourage me so that I may spend time with my soulmate for as long as possible.”

Emile shook his head, “Well, if cartoons have taught me anything, it’s that you’re gonna go for it no matter what I say so...”. He placed a hand on Logan’s shoulder, “Make it good, Logan, I wanna remember the day the untouchable Logan Smith lost his mind.”. With a shared chuckle, Emile let him wind up for whatever he was about to do, while Logan waited for his moment. The tour guide was gesturing to an exhibit of ancient Mayan armour when Logan chose to strike, raising his hand while Emile awaited the fireworks show to come.

“Sir? I have a question.“

“Of course, what is it?”

“Did the museum ask permission to have that armour?”

The guide looked confused while Logan’s teacher looked ready to have an aneurysm.

“I… don’t understand what you mean. Anyway this-”

“I’m merely asking,”, Logan interrupted, ready to keep pushing until he would be  hauled off by security, “because I believe that if it were my culture being mercilessly appropriated and stolen from, I would be rather upset.”

“We’re allowed to have it because it’s for education-”

“But it’s still stealing. And stealing is always wrong, correct?”

“Well, it-”

“It’s a yes or no question, please answer as such-”

-

Remus hadn’t expected company in the tantrum room, but he wasn’t complaining as Logan was marched in, looking positively proud of himself in spite of the way the security guard nearly tossed him inside with obvious frustration. With a bright grin, Remus pat the beanbag next to him, positively writhing with unbridled joy, “Spill! What’d you do?!”.

Logan tried to play stoic and prideful, but the excitement cracked through in his voice, “I merely inquired as to why museums considered their historical thievery to be ethically justified until the tour guide got angry and attempted to ignore me.”. “Sick!! Then what!?”, Remus’ delighted eyes met Logan’s with a similar sparkle of mischief.

Logan chuckled as he admired their string of fate, as people called it, slowly pulling his eyes from it to meet Remus’ again, “I screamed. Loudly. For quite the duration. I must say, I’m rather proud of my own lung capacity.”

Remus rolled his eyes, but there was a fondness in it.

“Naturally, security came to try and calm the situation.”

“And then they brought you here?”

“No, they attempted to calm me down”, Logan snickered, “But, one of them put a hand on my shoulder rather rudely. So I bit them-” “YOU BIT ‘EM!?”, if Logan could bottle the light that radiated from Remus there and then, he would have, his own smile growing while his soulmate’s grin threatened to tear through his cheeks, “Logan, mi alma, you’re insane! I love it!”

“Mi alma?”, Logan queried, his cheeks losing the great blush war as his face radiated a nice rosy crimson.

“Oh, right!”, Remus explained, “It means ‘my soul’, it’s what people call their boyfriends ‘n’ stuff back home. I figured since you’re my soulmate, it makes sense to call you that!”

For a moment, Remus faltered, “Uh…. if you don’t mind I guess? It’s whatever, I’ll stop if you hate it-”

“No, no, I rather appreciate the sentiment,” , Logan awkwardly smiled back at Remus, “Mi alma?”

The wilder of the two threw his head back in a roar laughter, “Man, your pronunciation sucks! And that’s an easy one!“, he teased as he shuffled his beanbag closer to Logan’s and continued with a wild smile, “Looks like I gotta stay with you for sure now and make sure you get it right! You’re stuck with me, Nerdy Wolverine!”

It would be hard work convincing his father to let him move schools to be with Remus, Logan knew that. Despite the fact his father adored love in all forms and regarded the bond of soulmates as sacred, Logan knew it’d logically be a hard sell to ask his father to not only pull him out of an expensive academy, but also to have him possibly move home or make a rather lengthy commute. 

But as Remus’ had met Logan’s, the latter found himself locking fingers with his wild soulmate, banishing that thought while they still had time together. Whether it would work out right away, after a couple of months, or even over the course of a few years, they’d make it work.

“Falsehood,”, Logan smirked, “I believe it’s you that’s stuck with me.”

-----------

Okay, this one’s the cutest thing hands down. I’m so proud of this one! As a tidbit, I had it in mind that their single fathers were Janus for the twins and Patton for Logan. 

@tsshipmonth2020

Taglist: @somehow-i-got-an-account @cateye-glasses

[kbuggg3]

JC Caylen Imagine: “Don’t Be Sorry”

Today's has been a pretty eventful day to say the least. While my boyfriend JC was out with some old friends who came into town to visit him, me and my dad got into a fight... again.

But the thing that hurts the most is not only is this the 4th time in a row he's been caught, but I'm the one that keeps witnessed it. Your probably wonder "the 4th time? Why do you keep falling for his bullshit?"

Welp. He's my dad. I'm not just gonna give up on him completely. When we would catch him doing something he would let fake tears fall from his eyes as he was apologizing to us and we would forgive him.

And then we'd catch him again, he'd apologize, we'd forgive him. It was an endless cycle. But this time I knew I can't get my hopes up to high anymore.

My mom always told me it takes years to build trust and seconds to destroy it. I felt that. He didn't only ruin my trust with him, but my trust with everyone else. I let everything that happened get to my head and now I have major trust issues. With the exception of one person.

JC Caylen

Before i met JC my life was pretty miserable. I lived in Florida with my mom and my older sister. After my mom and dad got divorced, my family slowly started going down hill.

My dad was barely in the picture due to his constant sneaking around as he was hooking up with random people and getting drunk and being so lazy that he never even bothered covering his tracks, allowing us to discover his dirty little secrets for ourselves.

My poor brother was clueless. Had no idea what his own father was doing behind his back and we didn't bother telling him because 1.) he was a very sensitive boy at the time and 2.) he looked to my dad for everything. My dad was his role model.

After awhile of all of this, my sister was diagnosed with depression. Not too severe but even the smallest bit can make you feel like shit. And as for me, I struggled with self love. Because I didn't really have a good male figure on my life I looked to guys for verification.

But after i spent a week with him and the rest of the O2l house at Vidcon i felt like my life was finally picking up. Fast forward a couple years and my sisters depression is gone, my brother grew up to be an amazing dad of 2 kids, and as for me, i stopped looking for verification in guys and me and JC started dating.

We've been dating for 2 years now and he has been nothing but amazing. I love him so much and I know he loves me. Ever since we've started dating people have been telling me they've never seen me so happy before or they've never seen me smile or laugh that much before.

I just wished he was here to comfort me right now. I haven't told him what happened yet. I didn't wanna ruin his day. He was hanging out with some old friends of his who flew down to visit him.

I wasn't gonna burden him with my stupid family issues while he was out with his friends. I turned on a random disney movie and began to watch as I continued to cry at random times when the old memories would pop up in my mind.

I would squeeze my eyes shut and burry my head in my pillow trying to make them stop but they never went away, no matter how hard i tried. Eventually I decided enough was enough. I just couldn't take it anymore. I had to call JC. I grabbed the phone and went to his name in my contacts. I dried my tears and took a few deep breaths to stop myself from crying so he wouldn't notice and be too worried.

After attempting to recollect myself, i pressed call, holding the phone up to my ear as i heard it ring. A few seconds later the line picked up and i heard his sweet voice on the other end.

"What's up baby." JC said in a super deep voice cause you to giggle only slightly.

"Hey JC. Um, I was just wondering when you were gonna be home?"

"Is my girl missing me already?"

"What do mean already you've been gone for hourrrrsssss." She groaned causing him to chuckle.

"I know baby I'm sorry. I'll actually be home soon."

I sighed with relief before responding, "Thank god!"

"Is everything ok (y/n)?"

Shit. Don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry.

She sniffles a little and swallowed hard.

"Y-ya baby why do you ask?" My breath was uneven and he could tell.

"No no. Your not ok. I'm coming over right now."

Don't mess this up (y/n) he's having fun. Don't ruin his day.

"JC it's fine. I'm gonna be ok. Just go hang out with your friends. Have fun!"

"Gonna be?!"

I pulled back and cringed at my own words. Shouldn't have said that.

"Gonna be ok??? (y/n) what happened???" JC exclaimed again. She sighed and rubbed her forehead.

"JC I'm-"

Tell him your fine. He's with his friends. He doesn't need this right now.

Tell him what you tell everyone else in your life. Your fine.

"It's my dad again." I said with tears in my eyes.

What the fuck (y/n)! How could you?!

He can tell by my voice I was crying.

"Fuck. Baby I'm coming over right now." He side sternly. Was he mad?

"N-no JC it's ok really I-"

"No! (y/n) it's not ok! Baby he's put you through so much shit and I'm tired of it! You don't deserve that! You nor your family!" He began to shout a little and it caused her to cry harder. Not because I'm scared of him. But because he cared so much and that meant the world to her. He's the only one who gets it.

He did a deep sigh and you already knew he was running his hands through his hair and pacing, something he did when he was stressed, nervous, or in this case pissed off.

"I'm coming over. I'll be there in a few just hang on ok?"

At first no words were spoken. She didn't want to agree because she still felt bad about burdening him with it. But she was going to lose her fucking mind if he wasn't holding her ASAP so she finally spoke a barely audible "ok".

Immediately the phone call was ended. (y/n)'s phone slid out of her hand and onto the floor. She sat there curled up on her bed for awhile, staring blankly at the floor as her head was leaned on the head rest.

The thoughts and images filled her head again and she began to cry and cry and cry. "Go away." She whispered with quivering lips. "Go away!"

Not too long after the phone call she heard keys rattling as whoever was on the other side, who she assumed was JC, tried to open the door. She then heard footsteps quickly going up the stairs.

Her teary eyes slowly looked up to the door and saw the door knob slowly being turned, then the door opened revealing her boyfriend. In her mind she was smiling, finally being able to see him, but on the outside she unintentionally showed the opposite.

They made eye contact and (y/n) saw the sympathetic look on JC's face. She hated it when people would look at her like that and he knew it. He just couldn't help it. It makes her feel weak and helpless even tho those are the exact words that describe her in this moment.

When she saw the look on his face she quickly looked away, turning her head to the side and squeezed her eyes shut as more tears slipped down her cheeks, slightly embarrassed by her fragile appearance.

She felt the bed beside her dip down meaning JC was now sitting next to her on the bed.

"Baby..."

JC gently touched her chin and moved it to where her eyes had nowhere else to look but his.

"I... I am so sorry."

After looking into his beautiful brown eyes, (y/n) finally gave in and buried her face in his shoulder as she sat in his lap in a straddle like position.

Her arms were tightly wrapped around his neck and the more she cried the tighter she would hold on. In return JC would squeeze her back, both arms wrapped around her waist. He then began to run his hand through her hair and draw small circles on her back in a soothing motion.

JC continued to whisper little nothings in her ear as she gripped his shirt that was soaked with her tears.

"You don't deserve this."

"None of this is your fault."

"You're an amazing girl."

"You're my amazing girl."

After a few minutes or so of them sitting in silence, JC asked her if she wanted to lay down and cuddle while they watched a movie. (y/n) could only nod her head as they repositioned themselves to where she was laying on JC's stomach with her face still buried in his chest. He put on her favorite Disney movie "Finding Nemo" hoping it would encourage her to lift her head and hopefully help calm her.

When she heard the music play softly from the TV she slowly and hesitantly lifted her head from JC's chest as she positioned her head to where she could see the movie displayed on the large screen. JC smiled at her and kissed the top of her head. Occasionally throughout the movie he would rub her back soothingly, play with her hair, and give her kisses on the top of her head or forehead, causing (y/n) to smile slightly.

"Thank you... Seriously," (y/n) said quietly. He was surprised at first, judging by the fact that neither of them have said a word to each other for about an hour (not in a rude way of course but because there was no need for words. They just needed time to think and relax). "No problem, baby. I love you so so much."

(y/n) look up at him, resting her chin on his chest. He noticed how the red puffiness in her eyes went down and there was not a tear in sight, causing his heart to warm and a smile to make its way across his face. "I love you too." They shared a short but sweet kiss and went to sleep cuddled up in their bed as "Finding Nemo" continued to play and lull them into a deep and peaceful sleep.

ngl I hate writing sad stuff (unless y’all request it obvi) but I got this idea and couldn’t get it out of my head so you’re welcome. If you have any requests and/or feedback let me know plz! Love y'all💋                                                                                                                                 ~Kbug :)

[winterscaptain]

kiss the girl.

Aaron Hotchner x Reader 

request from anon: can you do a hotch x reader where the BAU team goes to Disney World and the team tricks the two to riding the Little Mermaid ride (made it up) which is the replica of the “Kiss the Girl” scene. thanks love ur writing! ❤️

rating & words: g, ~2300

a/n: thank you anon! this one is fluffy as hell and super soft.

AO3 | Masterlist | Requests Open!

+++

Christmas that year was an ordeal, with three kids and two new significant others. The entire unit always gathered at Rossi’s for their annual Boxing Day get-together and the kids always made off like bandits. It was no secret that it was Jack’s favorite informal holiday, and Henry and Michael were picking up on the benefits as they got older.

It was one of your favorite holidays, too. That year found you cross-legged on the floor next to Jack, with Michael in your lap. Hotch was on gift-wrap duty on the couch behind you. Jack had one of his arms looped through yours, showing you one of the games on his new tablet.

“You all have one last something from me, here,” Dave said, passing wrapped envelopes to the grown-ups, and small boxes to the kids. The knowing smirks on the faces of JJ, Will, Hotch, and Dave made you a little nervous.

You helped Jack and Michael with their wrapping paper and stopped dead in your tracks when you processed what was inside. Mickey Ears and...

DisneyWorld Tickets for the entire unit. Epcot, Disney Resort, the whole nine. You tore into your envelope, finding plane ticket vouchers, a brochure, and your own set of tickets.

“I’ve cleared all our vacation time with the higher-ups. We leave for Florida next week.” Hotch looked a little too satisfied with himself.

All hell broke loose. The boys were shouting about all the things they wanted to see while all the grown-ups laughed. You looked up at Hotch, who gave you a rare and coveted broad grin.

+++

Walking around in the Florida sun with three kids under ten wasn’t as fun in practice.

Michael hung off your hip, fresh off his second meltdown of the day.

“Thank you for taking him,” JJ said. Even though she was sweaty and exhausted, she still looked great.

You smiled at her. “Of course. I love this little gremlin.” You pushed blond hair off Michael’s forehead, pressing a kiss to his sweaty skin. He snuffled and burrowed further into your shoulder. He reached a hand over your shoulder and you looked, finding Hotch there.

He snagged Michael’s little hand between his fingers and pressed kisses into it until Michael was giggling, tears forgotten. Somehow during the day, Jack’s Mickey ears had landed on Aaron’s head and they sat askew in his dark hair. 

It was that moment where you decided you didn’t just love Hotch. You loved Aaron. Goofy, playful, funny Aaron.

When Michael let him go, Hotch stepped up beside you, leaving Dave to keep pace at the back of the group.

You felt a hand on the middle of your back, steadying you as you adjusted your grip on Michael.

“Don’t!” You laughed. “I’m sweaty.”

He chuckled and leaned away from you, hands up in surrender. “I’ll keep my distance, then.”

“Not too far, I hope,” you mumbled under your breath.

His attention was on Jack, who was on Derek’s shoulders at the front of the pack, but his smile betrayed him. With a flush, you realized he heard you.

You weren’t quite sure what it was between you, but it had been there for years. It was more than camaraderie developed from your work in the field, but it was ineffable, intangible, and (frankly) terrifying. 

“Dad!” Jack called, and Derek whirled around, walking backward. “Keep up!”

Aaron shook his head, throwing a smile your way before jogging up to Jack. “Where are we headed?”

You couldn’t help your laugh. Jack made a hilarious silhouette with his father’s sunglasses on his face, your floppy sunhat on his head, and striped lollipop in his hand.

“Small world!” Henry shouted, making a break for it. Emily snagged him by the hand before he could get too far off. She managed to maintain the excitement, running along beside him, without losing her grip.

Thank God these kids are outnumbered.

It was at that moment Michael demanded to be let down. You set him on his feet and he ran up to his mom.

You rolled your shoulders and shook out your arms. On the fifth and final day of the trip, you finally broke down and changed out your moisture-wicking tee shirts for a tank top. The Florida humidity was brutal, and while you loved the kids, the skin-to-skin contact with those wiggly little boys was altogether a little too sticky. 

The humid breeze on your arms made it worth it, but you missed out on the real benefit. Aaron had to make an effort to rip his gaze from your exposed skin more than once. The pantsuits and blouses were lovely in the office, of course, but the shorts and tank top left enough skin exposed to make him sweat. 

It’s gonna be a long day. 

+++

Hotch slung an arm across the low bench behind you, ruffling Jack’s hair as he got settled into the Small World boat. You three were in the back, as Jack had begged you to separate him from the younger boys for just a minute.

Emily and Reid kept a wiggling Henry between them, while Michael was between Derek and Penelope. Reid’s penchant for magic had saved the day more than once over the course of the weekend. Nothing distracted tired, hungry boys like a disappearing fork.

You leaned back, taking the opportunity to relax for a moment. The air conditioning was heaven on your overheated skin. Jack leaned into you, his eyes drifting shut. You scooted closer to him, bringing your arm around him. His proximity to you was only barely-tolerable with the cool air, but you would take any degree of discomfort for Jack Hotchner.

He’d taken such a responsibility on this trip – keeping an eye on Henry and Michael, sharing snacks, and making sure the little ones were drinking enough water. It was no wonder he was tired.

The arm across Jack’s shoulders was now flush against Aaron’s. Oddly, neither one of you made any attempt to move. You looked over, and your eyes met over Jack’s head. There was an unreadable, but soft, expression on his face. You flushed and looked away, turning your attention to Jack and brushing some wayward crumbs off his shirt.

You felt a couple of fingers trail up your bare arm before landing on your shoulder. They squeezed once.

Dropping your arm back down to Jack’s shoulder, you had enough leeway to snag the side of Hotch’s shirt with your pinky,

“You’re lucky there’s air conditioning, Hotchner, or I wouldn’t let you anywhere near me,” you say, laughter coloring your low murmur.

Under your finger, his ribs expanded in a shaky breath. You’d never seen him ruffled in this way before, and it was kind of exciting. “Then i am lucky indeed.” 

+++

By the time you got around to Ariel’s grotto, the boys (and Spencer) were starving. JJ, Will, Derek, and Rossi took the boys while you, Hotch, Penelope, and Emily took a breath.

“I just remembered!” Penelope smacked a hand to her forehead. “The new ride is finally finished. I bet we could do it and be back before the boys are done eating.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“Not a chance.” Aaron leaned back on the bench they’d found, crossing his arms.

“Oh c’mon Hotchner. Live a little. No harm in ironically enjoying a child’s ride for the hell of it.” Emily offered you her hand, and you offered yours to Hotch.

To your surprise, he took it and hauled himself to his feet.

“Fine. But I don’t want to hear about it later.”

Emily sniffed, dragging them into the line. “I can’t guarantee that.”

+++

The little boats were admittedly pretty cute. The seats were arranged in pairs, with the seats facing each other, just like the boats in the movie.

“I can’t believe they roped us into this,” he said.

You laughed at him, putting your backpack at your feet. “Oh please. You know you love it.”

He rolled his eyes, but you knew you were right.

As the ride started and you were thoroughly engaged in Ariel’s journey, Aaron grabbed your hand, holding it in the space between you. Your heart skittered wildly in your chest and you hoped you could blame your breathlessness on heat exhaustion.

Sha-la-la-la-la-la My, oh my Looks like the boy's too shy Ain't gonna kiss the girl

Aaron leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, and brought your fingers to his lips. You startled, looking over at him with a kind of unrestrained wildness in your eyes. His lips were soft as he pressed a kiss to the pads of each of your fingers, his eyes smiling.

This can’t be happening. 

Sha-la-la-la-la-la Ain’t that sad It’s such a shame, too bad You’re gonna miss the girl

You gulped and unconsciously licked your lips. Belatedly, you realized you were a masterclass in micro-expressions. Aaron was far too good at his job to have missed them.

You leaned forward, mirroring his posture. Were these boats always this small? Were your knees always touching? You weren’t sure.

Aaron reached out with one of his hands, brushing damp hair away from your face. You looked a mess – shiny and sweaty and very tired. He didn’t care.

His (distractingly large) hand cradled the base of your skull as he pulled you toward him.

Your lips met, and even though you were ready for it, you gasped. He was gentle with you, your lips pliant against his. You pulled your hand from his grasp and brought your hands to frame his face, deepening the kiss.

You granted him access, and the taste of his tongue went straight to your head. One of his hands had dropped to your bare thigh, holding on with a grasp that shot pleasure deep into your belly. 

By the time you both come up for air, grinning, and breathless, Ariel had her voice back.

“I’m so glad they roped us into this.”

You reached out and pushed his shoulder. “Don’t start getting soft on me, Aaron.”

He rolled his eyes and shifted meaningfully against the little bench. “Oh, trust me, you don’t have to worry about that,” he deadpanned.

You blushed and barked a laugh, drawing the eyes of Penelope and Emily in the boat in front of you.

+++

The boys were back and on their second wind when you leave the Grotto.

“Did you take a nap in there or what?” JJ bumped your shoulder as you all got on your way again. “You look...” she searched your face, “different.”

You shrugged, trying to play it off and really trying not to look at Aaron. “Air conditioning does wonders.”

She didn’t buy it, but she let it go.

Dave caught on to Aaron’s buoyancy after a little while.

“Was forty-five minutes away from your kid that rejuvenating, Aaron?”

“Quit, Dave.”

Rossi pushed his sunglasses to the top of his head, following Aaron’s gaze to where it strayed.

You were tag-teaming Derek with Jack in an attempt to recover your big floppy sunhat.

“Did you finally do something about that?” Dave replaced his sunglasses.

Aaron squinted, weighing the pros and cons of lying to the most experienced profiler at the bureau. “...No.”

“Well done, man.”

+++

On the tram back to the hotel, Jack was attached to you like a koala, his arms around your neck and knees resting on the bench on either side of your hips. 

“Love you, Y/N”

His hair tickled your nose as you kissed his head. “Love you too, Jack. You can crash if you want. I’ll carry you back”

Jack hummed, sounding alarmingly like his father, and snuggled further into you.

He was out cold in less than five minutes.

You rubbed his back absentmindedly, taking stock of the moment.

Jack was getting older, and it was just today you realized the little boy you met only weeks after his birth was almost too big for you to swing around, too big to toss over your head.

It meant a lot to you that he wasn’t too big to still collapse into you at the end of the day.

Aaron saw the soft smile on your face as you held his son. Jack was sleeping like a rock, his head tucked into the hollow between your neck and chest.

She loves him. He trusts her. 

As if you could read his mind, you glanced at Aaron over Jack’s head. He dropped his hand to the seat and flipped it palm-up. You laced your fingers with his and maneuvered so you could rest your head on his shoulder, your eyelids fluttering closed.

Aaron’s cheek met the crown of your head and he felt truly relaxed for the first time in a long time.

Penelope was the first to clock it, poking Emily’s shoulder. Emily looked over her shoulder and pulled out her phone. She twisted in her seat, which drew the attention of JJ, Rossi, and Derek.

Smiling, she snapped a picture. You three looked strikingly like a family. Normal, as if it had been that way from the start. 

+++

“Hey, Aaron,” you murmured. The rest of the team had returned to their catatonic state after a few minutes of cooing over you. The events of the weekend caught up to them, and they were all looking forward to the flight home. 

“Hmm?”

“You wanna do this or what?”

You could feel his quiet laugh in your hair. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Shifting just a little, you pressed your lips to his shoulder. “You know I love you, right?” You tried to deliver it as casually as possible, but your own admission sent a thrill through you.

“Yeah. I know.” He released your hand and raised his arm, tucking you under it as he brought you and Jack tight to his chest. “I’ve loved you longer than I care to admit.”

Your hotel room went to waste that night, but that was alright. With Aaron at your back and Jack against your chest, you’d never had a better night of sleep. 

tagging: @arganfics, @quillvine, @stxrry-ixn, @agenthotchner, @ange-must-die, @rousethemouse, @ughitsbaby

[fadedflame]

Late Summer Day 3

Detroit: Become Human Prompt Challenge from @connor-sent-by-cyberlife

Day three-Road Trip

Words-1150

Hank wants Connor to experience more of the world.

Ao3 or

It had all started with a simple statement of fact.

Honestly, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise to Hank at all, but Connor’s offhand comment that he had never been outside of Detroit still managed to take him off guard. That was all it took for him to make the executive decision to bribe Jeffery into letting them take two weeks off of work.

“This really isn’t necessary, Hank,” Connor insisted, loading a suitcase into the back of the car.

“The hell it’s not,” Hank countered. “You’re alive now. You need to see more of the world than this crappy city.”

“I like Detroit, Hank,” he argued.

He shook his head. “Nothing wrong with that, but you still need to get out and experience new things. Trip’s already planned, you’re not getting out of it.”

"I'm not trying to get out of it," Connor said. He tucked another bag into the back. "It just seems to be an awful lot of effort to go through on my behalf."

Hank sighed as he tossed a suitcase of his own into the trunk. "Don't think of it like that, kid. Shit, it's not like I'm not getting anything out of this."

Connor looked up at him hesitantly. "Really?"

"Yeah, really," he said, hoping the android would trust he was being honest. He hated that Connor seemed to still doubt that he deserved having people do things for him. It was heartbreaking. "Shit, Connor. I deserve a damn vacation too."

His expression turned skeptical. "You said that the only vacation you wanted to deal with involves the tv and a beer."

Screw this kid and his perfect memory. "Forget what I said," Hank told him. "Come on, Connor, you know me by now. Would I be doing this if I didn't really want to?"

He considered Hank for a moment as though contemplating the question before his hesitant expression gave way to a soft smile. "I suppose not," he admitted. "I just… I think I'm a bit nervous to leave Detroit."

"You're gonna be fine." Hank promised. "You're the most advanced android CyberLife ever put out. You can dodge bullets for fuck's sake."

"I know," Connor said. "I understand that it's irrational."

He gave him an encouraging smile. "Nothing wrong with irrational. Besides, if you're really not into it, we can always turn around and come home."

"Ok." Connor still seemed concerned, but had more confidence in his voice.

Hank closed the trunk with a solid thunk. The car loaded and Sumo dropped off with the neighbor, they were ready to go. "Let's get a move on."

As nervous as he had been, it bled away quickly once they hit the road. Since Connor had never been out of the city, every new sight intrigued and excited him. Hank had to remind himself to keep his eyes on the road. The kid was just too much fun to watch. He was like a puppy, new to the world and eager to see everything. Hank lost track of how many times he told the kid to get his head back inside the damn window.

And that was all before they got to their first stop.

Hank didn't plan much out. He had a few places he wanted to bring him, but figured they'd stop for anything that caught their eye along the way. So far, that had been an aquarium, two national parks, a zoo, and an overhyped ball of yarn. They were all gimmicky and terrible, but the joy on Connor’s face every time he saw something new overshadowed any of Hank’s cynicism.

“Are you finally going to tell me your surprise?” Connor asked as they pulled into the parking lot of their hotel room in Florida.

“Nope,” he responded with a smirk. “You’ll find out tomorrow.”

Connor rolled his eyes, but accepted the answer. He’s been asking the whole trip so he likely expected Hank’s response. “Alright,” he conceded.

It was late already, so they went to bed right away once they were checked in. Hank had difficulty sleeping though. He felt like a kid again, excited for the next day. He hoped Connor would enjoy it as much as he had when he was a boy.

-o-

“Disney World?” Connor said, reading the sign. He looked almost scared when they arrived, unnerved by the crowds. Despite being early, the whole place was already buzzing with people.

“Yup,” Hank grinned. “It’s basically a rite of passage. Gotta go at least once.”

The android looked skeptical, but nodded. “I have heard many positive things about it,” he admitted.

“Course you have,” he gently slapped Connor’s arm indicating they should move. “It’s the happiest fuckin’ place on earth.”

“Hank, there are children,” he scolded, for once calling him out on his foul language.

He just grinned, but silently resolved to hold his tongue. Last thing he wanted was to get kicked out or something. “Yeah, yeah. Let’s get going.”

Connor followed after him without another word.

Hank already had the tickets, he’d decided to do this right and had splurged on the whole damn experience. Fast passes, VIP lanes, all that shit. It would be worth every penny if Connor had a good time.

It took the kid a bit to warm up to it all, suspension of disbelief not coming naturally to him. He felt the need to inform Hank that the woman he pointed out wasn’t actually Princess Ariel, but a woman named Maria Thomes, 23, no criminal record. Hank just sighed and told him to stop scanning people.

His first time on a rollercoaster was downright hilarious. He didn’t know what to make of it, somewhere between terrified and elated, but quickly determined he wanted to go again. Hank wished he could have him experience the food, but judging by his insistence on how unhealthy it all was, he figured he wouldn’t want to anyway.

Overall, it was a good day.

Hank smiled over at Connor asleep in his bed. He’d gone into rest mode as soon as they had gotten back, citing abnormally low battery levels. He hadn’t even taken off the Mickey Mouse ears that he had initially protested.

Hank was exhausted too. Now that there wasn’t constant activity, he felt the weariness the excitement from the day left behind. He reached over, brushing at Connor’s hair affectionately. He was so glad he’d had fun, so glad that he was enjoying the whole trip. He wanted nothing but the best for him.

He leaned over, kissing the top of Connor’s head gently. “Good night, son,” he whispered, knowing damn well the kid was too deep into stasis to hear him.

That’s how he wanted it. Every day, Connor felt more and more like he was his kid, his son. But Hank wasn’t quite ready to let him know that yet. For now, it was enough to make him happy.

[avengerscompound]

Until the End of the World - 3

Until the End of the World: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Word Count:  1725

Rating:  E

Warnings: Talk of pregnancy

Synopsis: Four years after Steve and Bucky got to the bottom of the HYDRA conspiracy that had led to you and your son being hunted for the first three years of his life, you, Bucky, and Steve have carved out a nice life together.  Things are calm and you feel like a family unit.  When Geo starts calling Bucky and Steve ‘dad’, a decision is made to try and add to your family.

Things aren’t as calm as they seem.  When your pregnancy hits the papers, HYDRA rears its head once again, and Steve and Bucky need to track you down to protect the family they had created.

Chapter 3

You were thoroughly exhausted by the time you, Bucky, and Steve dragged the suitcases inside your apartment.  The trip to Florida had wiped you out with all the traveling and theme parks and eating out every night, but it had been worth it.  The three of you needed time away from the Avengers just to practice being a regular family.

There was no way you had imagined it would have worked as well as it did.  With Geo calling Steve and Bucky ‘dad’ and plans for adding more kids, things had gone from being four people sharing their lives, to four members of the same family.

It was exciting thinking about what was to come.  It had been a long time since you and Geo had stopped running and settled down in a life with Bucky and Steve and when you looked back on those days it often seemed like a bad dream that had happened to some completely different person.  Not that it hadn’t left some pretty permanent scars.  You were still constantly checking over your shoulder for danger.  You would completely panic if you were out with Geo and he went out of your line of vision, even for a second.  You had separation anxiety (something that Geo shared) and there were times when you’d just feel generally uneasy like you did when you thought it was time to run.

Generally, things were fine.  You didn’t have a go-bag packed.  Geo had a school and friends.  You had gone back to school and you were working.  You were in love and you felt safe and normal in what was maybe not the most normal of situations, but in a lot of ways was so much better.  Because if the choice was happy or normal, happy would always win.

The thought of expanding the family with Bucky and Steve was exciting.  You loved them and couldn’t pretend that the thought of a bigger family wasn’t something you daydreamed about.  Even back with your first marriage, the idea of a few kids was something you’d toyed with.  They were so good with Geo and they had so much love to give other people.  Plus they seemed to need the piece of normal that you and Geo could provide for them.  It kept them grounded in a reality that wasn’t just saving the world and risking their lives.

So as exhausted as you were when you flopped down on the couch in your apartment, you were also excited.  Excited about the future and all the good things it was going to bring.

“I know we all really want something home-cooked,” Steve said as he flopped down beside you.  “But I think we should order in.”

“No arguments from me!”  Bucky called as he grabbed the bags and headed to the laundry.

Steve pulled out his phone and began to search for something to eat while Geo sat down and began to play on his tablet when there was a knock at the door.

“Who is it, FRIDAY?”  Steve asked.

“Mister Stark and Ms. Potts are here with Morgan,” FRIDAY said.

Steve chuckled and shook his head.  “Let them in.”

The door clicked open and the Stark family came inside, two-and-a-half-year-old Morgan immediately peeling away from her parents and toddling over to Geo.  “Welcome home!”  Tony said as Steve got to his feet.  “I hope you enjoyed your vacation.  Because it was the last one you ever have.”

“Not even going to let us take a breath?”  Steve teased.  “Any of you want a drink?”

“Yes, pwease,” Morgan said, looking up from the pile of toys Geo was pulling out from his bag to show her.

“What nice manners,” Steve joked.  “Not like daddy at all, huh?  What would you like, honey?”

“Juice, pwease,” she said.

“I’ll have tea if that’s okay,” Pepper added.

Tony followed Steve into the kitchen while Pepper came and sat down next to you.  “Sorry about the intrusion.  Tony’s been tearing his hair out the past two days and Morgan’s been asking when Geo gets home.”

“It’s fine,” you said, waving her off.  “It’s nice to feel needed.”

“So how was it?  Should we be buying Mickey ears for Morgan and heading south?”  Pepper asked.

“Yeah, really good,” you said, a contented smile spreading over your face.

“Oh, that sounds way more significant than getting your photo with Belle,” Pepper said, looking you over.  “What happened?”

“Geo, how about you go play with those in your room.  You can show her the lightsabers you built,” you said.

“Yeah,” Geo said, jumping up.  “Come on Morgan.”

The toddler was on her feet immediately chasing after the boys she idolized as he dragged his bag of treasures into his room.

“Go on, spill it,” Pepper said when they were safely out of earshot.

“Well,” you said quietly.  “For starters, Geo started calling them both ‘dad’.”

Pepper’s eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open.  “Wow, that is big.  How are they taking that?”

You went to say more but Bucky came in and looked around perplexed.  “Where is everyone?”  He asked.

“Steve and Tony are in the kitchen and Geo is showing Morgan his Disney haul in his room,” you explained.

Bucky came down and sat beside you, snaking his arm around your waist and pulling you a little closer.  “So what’s that face for?”  He asked, gesturing to Pepper.

Pepper started laughing.   “She just told me that Geo started calling you and Steve ‘dad’.”

“Oh, yeah,” Bucky grinned.  “Pretty great, huh?”

“How do you feel about that?”  Pepper asked.

“Good,” Bucky said with a nod.  “Really good.  It was a little dramatic at first because it just slipped out and he thought he was going to get in trouble or something.  But I talked him down, and now it’s just what he calls us, and I love it.”

“How about, Steve?”  Pepper asked.

“He loves it too,” you answered.  “I get the feeling no one brought it up before because no one wanted to pressure each other into calling them that.  But it’s not Steve and Bucky haven’t been his dad for years now.”

“Of course,” Pepper nodded.  “He probably barely even remembers a time they weren’t there.”

“Exactly,” you said.  “And I can’t pretend that I don’t wish he had known his biological dad.  But that’s not the world he was born into.  But thanks to these guys -” you nudged Bucky.  “He’s safe and he has two dads who love him very much.”

“Yeah, he does,” Bucky agreed, giving you a soft squeeze around the waist.

“You said ‘for starters’,” Pepper said, looking back at you.  “What else?”

You looked at Bucky.  “Is it okay if I tell her?”

He raised an eyebrow at you.  “I dunno, I guess.  Is it really something you tell?”

“Not everyone,” you agreed.  “But you can tell some people.  Can’t just keep stuff bottled up.”

“What?”  Pepper said, sitting forward in her chair.  “What’s going on?  You can’t just not tell me now.”

“We’re going to start trying to have a baby,” you said.

If Pepper had looked surprised before, she looked nothing but completely dumbfounded now.  Her eyes were wide and her mouth slowly opened and then closed again.  “Wow.  Wow… that’s huge,” she said.  “Oh my god!  Tony is going to be so excited when he finds out.  Expect to be flooded with gifts and unwanted advice when it actually happens.  He is the expert in parenting now.”

You and Bucky laughed.  “Well, it hasn’t happened yet.  I’ve got an IUD in, so I’m going to need to make an appointment to get that out for starters.”

“That’s amazing,” she said.  “I’m so happy for you all.  It sounds like this trip was exactly what you needed.”  She paused for a moment and fidgeted in her seat. “Can I ask a question that might seem a little … invasive?”

You shrugged.  “Sure.  If you can't, who can?”

She laughed and shook her head.  “Well, I do appreciate that,” she said.  “Do you know how you’re going to do it?  I mean… biologically speaking?”

You looked at Bucky and furrowed your brow.  The truth was, none of you had spoken about that.   It was in the list of ‘fine details to work out later’.  You didn’t care how it happened.  You were going to be the baby’s biological mother no matter what, and even if the three of you decided to go a completely different route and adopt, they’d already proven that they didn’t need biology at all to love a child.  You hoped they didn’t get territorial now that you were trying for one together.

“I mean we haven’t…” you started.

“We definitely still need to iron some things out,” Bucky added.  “But I know I don’t really mind.  I figure we just see what happens.”

“You don’t care if you’re not the biological dad?”  You asked.

Bucky smiled and shook his head.  “It’ll be mine no matter what.”

You smiled as you looked into the cool gray of his eyes.  Bucky tended to wear his pain constantly.  Even when he was otherwise happy you could see that pain reflected in his eyes.  Right now though, there was none.  His eyes glimmered with the hope of things to come and what looked like real, deep down to his core, happiness.  “I love you,” you whispered and brought your lips to his.  He smiled against your lips as he returned the kiss deeply, his hand going to your cheek and cradling it.

There was the course sound of someone clearing their throat and you looked up to see Tony and Steve in the doorway that led to the kitchen.  “Are you two just going to invite us around here and make out in front of my wife?”  Tony teased.

“I don’t actually remember inviting you around,” you shot back.

Tony laughed loudly and clapped Steve on the shoulder.  “Well, I know when I’m not wanted.”

“No, stay,” you said.  “We’re going to order food.  Let Morgan play with Geo for a bit longer.”

Tony chuckled and took a seat next to Pepper.  “Only if the two of you promise to keep your tongues to yourselves.”

You shrugged.  “I absolutely cannot promise that,” you said, causing Tony to break down into peals of laughter yet again.

// NEXT

[novelconcepts]

I'm up way too late but may I submit two brief proposals vis-á-vis the postcards(?) on Jamie and Dani's fridge: 1) Once they've settled into ife in Vermont, they go through a phase where they decide they're going to see as much of the USA as they can (while they still can) and the postcards are the result of that adventure. 2) For a while, Miles and Flora send them postcards somewhat regularly, and they always go straight on the fridge. Eventually, the cards stop coming, but the old ones stay up

For the first few months, Dani can’t sit still. It’s the strangest damn thing, because she’s never been that kind of person. Dani is patient. Dani is patient to a fault, even. She can sit for an hour or more, waiting for a child’s stubborn facade to crack away and let her in. She’s trained herself to draw up lesson plans at night over a glass of wine, moving through the subjects with comfortable ease. She’s lost hours staring into the fire, mulling over old mistakes and older fears. Dani is genuinely good at sitting still, thinking things out, making a decision only when the pot has boiled over at last.

But these days, after leaving Bly, it’s like that pot never runs dry. It’s just burbling there on an indefinite loop, and no matter how she tries to calm it, she always seems to turn around to find boiling water splashing around her feet. Sooner or later, she thinks, it’s going to burn her. 

It’s better, she finds quickly, if she’s in motion. If her brain isn’t so occupied with that inward gaze that has done her such harm over the years, if she won’t let herself just lay on her back and stare at a dark ceiling, searching for patterns that Jamie insists, insists are not there, it doesn’t feel so...so...

So much like being watched. 

She moves. She moves, and Jamie moves with her. Jamie has gotten so good so fast at reading her moods: at looking up over a morning cup of tea and seeing something behind Dani’s eyes that wasn’t there last night. She’s afraid to ask what that something might be, but Jamie only ever raises her eyebrows, raises her cup in a salute, and says, “Where to, then, Poppins?”

Jamie, as always, giving her permission. So, they move. From England to Vermont, for starters, and it’s so much more than Dani remembered America being. Bigger. Colder. She feels like she’s always looking over her shoulder, and maybe that isn’t so new. Maybe that’s why she came out to Bly in the first place. But now, now it’s different. Now she peeks into reflections with the hopeful terror of a child who almost wants to catch a glimpse of the monster beneath the bed, because at least seeing it would mean the damn thing is there. Waiting. Watching. Breathing down the back of her neck like the soft brush of otherworldly fingers, ready to clamp tight. 

They hit Vermont, and Jamie doesn’t seem to mind that Dani sometimes leaps out of bed at sunrise and spends the next eighteen hours doing laps around their life. The grocery store. The bank. The apartment. She pings from one to the next like an out-of-control meteor on its way to an extinction event, and Jamie just watches. Just raises her eyebrows. Lays a hand gently around her wrist. Says, “All right, there, Poppins?”

And, no. No, it isn’t all right. But it’s better. Better than sitting alone in a room in that big, sprawling house where the walls are lined with memories of Hannah’s smile and Owen’s terrible sense of humor and those perfect, glorious, sad children she loves so much, even now. 

They’re in Vermont for a month when the itch gets too big to sit on any longer. When she physically can’t calm herself with the now-familiar route of errand and takeout pizza and trying to figure out how adults put together a home they actually want to live in. One night, with rain playing havoc on the apartment windows, with gusts slamming the panes so hard, she thinks they might shatter, she turns her eyes to Jamie. 

“Texas?”

It’s a million miles away from their home, which is growing rapidly warm and cozy and green under their care, and she thinks Jamie’s going to say something. About how maybe they could just start small. Maybe they could just take it easy. But Jamie just takes her hand, raises it to her lips, presses a kiss to the smooth skin just below her palm. 

“Texas, then. Why not?”

Texas is huge and rambling and a kind of wicked dry-hot England has never so much as joked about, and they spend a week just...walking. Poking into dive bars, where Jamie proves herself unaccountably good at pool, and little cafes, where Dani makes weak jokes about strong coffee. Holding hands under the table in restaurants mostly laid bare by late evening. Jamie smiles at her, and Dani feels the thing inside curl up a little tighter. Sink a little lower in her chest. 

The states spiral out like a summer sky after that, one after another. In Louisiana, they fall into good food and better music, dancing beneath the stars until Jamie is spinning her so fast, their laughter rings breathless through the night air. In Georgia, they pick fresh fruit and explore bookstores that smell like childhood ought to, and Jamie presses her into a kiss so warm and inviting that Dani almost forgets time exists outside of their lips. In Illinois, they explore a big city; in New York, a bigger one. The world sprawls, rolls, lands with all the care of heaped-up leaves on an October morning, and Dani lets herself fall. Into Michigan’s northern beauty, into California’s almost too-hip chatter, into the history of Washington and the quiet of Montana. Everywhere they go, the world feels a little more solid beneath her feet. Everywhere they go, Jamie’s hand is so steady in her own. 

They’re laying together in a hotel room in Boston when Jamie presses her to the bed and buries her face in her neck and Dani, for the first time in months, actually forgets. The world vibrates to a standstill around them, the music of other bodies through the walls fading to a distant tempo, and Jamie’s hands are confident, and Jamie’s kiss is searing, and Dani hasn’t felt this solid since--since--

She gasps, and for a minute, cold fear grips her from the inside: that Jamie’s going to raise her eyes and see that terrified girl again, the one who couldn’t be touched for longer than a second without doubling back on her own guilt. Maybe she’s still that girl, she thinks. Maybe she’s still back there, in some way, folding around her own secrets so tight, it’s astonishing she never shattered like one of her mother’s porcelain dolls. 

And then Jamie is raising her head, looking her in the eyes, and she’s smiling. The same smile from the night she first laid all the cards out on the table, inviting Dani to hold her, inviting Dani to know her for real. The world swims, and Dani wraps her arms around Jamie’s neck, and there is nothing watching this time. Nothing lurking. Nothing dark, or hungry, or wild. The desperation is the right kind, her own kind, the kind she and Jamie make together in these moments that never seem to last long enough. She exhales, and she feels like Dani Clayton in every atom. 

The postcards are Jamie’s idea. The steadiness so often is, Dani will note in later years, Jamie’s idea. Maybe because Jamie didn’t know what steadiness felt like until she was in her twenties. Maybe because Jamie is still waiting for it to skid out from under her boots. One day, in a little Midwestern town Dani’s already forgotten the name of, Jamie says, “We should send them a card.”

She doesn’t have to explain who. They both know how much they miss those kids. Both can feel it in the empty spaces at the table where there should be creaking chairs, shrieking sugar-laughter, the soft chuckle of adults learning how to laugh again at a child’s jokes. Jamie reaches out to a counter display, plucks a card plastered with a mountain so majestic, it might as well be made-up. She hands it and a pen to Dani, and nods. 

“They’ll like it.”

And they do. The postcard, and so many like it, go out--and, when they find their way back home at last, when Dani feels as though the adrenaline has cooled enough to let her breathe, to let the world rest like it did in that room back in Boston, the cards come back in. Fresh ones, painted with Disney characters and cherry blossoms and silly phrases about wishing they were there. Flora’s handwriting is getting better; Miles’, somehow, worse. They tack each one on the fridge as they come, leaning against the kitchen counter, remembering how it felt to breathe the air in Oregon, how the ocean licked around their ankles in Florida. 

The memories help. They’re grounding, somehow. To look at these tiny cards, the edges turning up from the handling of small fingers, and say, We did this. This was real. We were real there, and so are they. 

It makes her feel a little less like vibrating out of her skin with every card on that fridge. With every afternoon helping Jamie arrange flowers at the shop. With every evening bottle of wine, every stolen cigarette in bed, every shower Jamie pretends to be grumpy about her sliding into, the world resolves itself into a little more clarity. We’re doing this. This is real. We are here, even if they’re not. 

Slowly, slowly, as paper months burn and reveal bound-up yearbooks in their place, Dani finds she’s breathing through the panic. That the panic is, in fact, coming less and less frequently. That she’s sleeping through the night, turned toward Jamie always, the beam of light in the darkness she never has to question. The shop is flourishing. The apartment shows no sign of monsters in its corners. She’s thinking of Christmas again, but this time, the word she lands on isn’t if. 

The postcards are slowing. More and more of them turn up, when they turn up at all, in the neat, fidgety hand of Henry Wingrave. The words have far less heart, far more reality behind them. The kids are doing fine, just fine. They’re settling out quite nicely in California. You really should visit someday, you’d be quite welcome. 

She holds this invitation, elbows propped on the counter, and sighs. Jamie, who has been performing her nightly ritual of burning whatever she happens to put on the stove and inventing swear words so righteous, Dani can’t help but laugh, glances over her shoulder. 

“Something wrong?”

“They’re growing up,” Dani says, and there’s a tightness in her voice she doesn’t expect. A sharp needle behind her eyes. She raises a hand, drags her fingers across her face before the tears can fall and spoil the blue ink on the card. 

Arms slide around her waist, Jamie coming to rest against her body with all the familiarity of falling asleep. Her lips press to the thin cotton of Dani’s shirt, warm, understanding. 

“I hear that’s the idea. Of kids and all.”

She knows. Of course she knows. And what’s the alternative, but something built of horror and trauma? They’re growing up, and they’re growing up happy, and that’s...incredible, really. After all of it. 

“Hey.” Jamie tilts her body until Dani tilts with her, coming away from the counter enough for Jamie to close the distance. Her hands are soft on the back of Dani’s head. So steady. So present. “I’ve been thinking.”

“Oh no,” Dani says, unable to help herself. Jamie’s brow wrinkles, her tongue poking out, and Dani kisses her before the joke has time to sting. 

“Serious, Poppins. This is serious.”

“Right. Sorry.” She arranges her own face in a parody of solemn contemplation. Jamie rolls her eyes. “No, go ahead. I’m listening.”

She slides her hands under the flannel of Jamie’s shirt, letting her fingers splay across Jamie’s ribs. She’s always liked this, right here, the sense that Jamie is more real than anything in the world. More real than night terrors. More real than the heartbeat she sometimes hears in the back of her head when she’s been standing still too long. 

“You’re distracting, is what you are,” Jamie says, sounding the least upset about it she possibly could. Dani hums. 

“Stalling.”

“I was thinking,” Jamie repeats, eyes rolling toward the ceiling in a show of great restraint when Dani presses her hips forward. “We’ve seen an awful lot of this barbaric country you call home.”

“We call home,” Dani points out, grinning. Jamie nods. 

“But. S’been a minute, hasn’t it? Since we’ve seen what they’re up to across the pond. I was thinking, maybe--if you’re up for it, mind--we could...ring up Owen? See if he’s willing to bear a couple of grungy wanderers on his doorstep for a couple of days...”

It’s a distraction, Dani knows. Just something to get her mind off of the kids, of the truly palpable sense that something huge and important is beginning to drift too far out to catch. And yet...

The months roll into years. The years are quiet. They’ve been quiet so much longer than she thought she’d have. But somewhere deep down, somewhere beneath miles and miles of long kisses and meandering car rides and Jamie burning every other dinner they scrounge together...there’s something still down there, she knows. Waiting. Watching. 

“Lot more postcards out there,” Jamie says, with the light and airy tone of someone who knows Dani is looking over the edge of something too dark and too deep to climb back out of. “Could send an awful lot more, is all I’m saying.”

Sure. Sure, they could. There’s so much world out there, so much to see. She’d like to see it all, if only she had the time. She’d like to see every last inch. 

And maybe...maybe it’ll be enough. To keep moving. To keep their world spinning too long, too fast, for the beast to catch up with. She can’t know for sure. Jamie says it often enough, and she’s not wrong: Dani will never be able to say how much longer the running can last. 

But for now? While the beast holds still, and those kids still hold her name, and Jamie holds her like nothing else in the world matters?

“I think I’d like that,” she says, and feels steadier than she has in years. 

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Ocean Eyes - Part 4

I sat across from Chris at the small kitchen table in an awkward silence, picking at the label on the ketchup bottle.

"How could you keep this from me? Did you hate me that much?" Chris suddenly asked making me look up at him.

"It wasn't like that Chris, you broke my heart but i.... i never stopped loving you"

"If you loved me you would have told me!"

"I tried to tell you! My god i tried for months to contact you but you would never take my calls! I left you voicemails begging you to call me back....." i told him feeling my eyes start to tear up "i even tried to see you...." i shrugged remembering back to the day i decided to go back to the apartment i shared with him briefly "do you remember that day? I begged you to hear me out.... do you remember what you said to me?"

Chris's head dropped as he shook it, he actually looked ashamed of himself.

"You remember??"

"Yes"

"You told me i needed to stop being so desperate, that i needed to accept the fact we were over.... you told me our relationship was a mistake"

"I was an asshole i know that! But i was gonna be a dad and you kept that from me for nearly... what, 7 years??"

"Okay answer me this, would the you back then have given a shit?? Because i honestly don't think it would have changed a god damn thing because you were a selfish prick!" I whisper yelled at him so Mason wouldn't hear "you say you've changed now and that your not that guy anymore and i pray to god thats true, but....."

"I swear to god i've changed Y/N, i grew up. I realised that the fame didn't mean as much to me as my family"

"Good for you"

"You dont believe a word im saying do you?" He shook his head "i know that look you can't lie to me" he mumbled rubbing his hands over his face.

"Its not that i dont believe youve changed Chris, its that even then you never once reached out to me. Even before i was your wife, as brief as it was.... i was your best friend. It was so easy for you to cut me out of your life"

"I missed you everyday Y/N.... i just, i couldn't face you after what i did"

"Until you needed those divorce papers signed huh? Then you faced me".

Chris just looked down avoiding eye contact, he didn't know what to say.

"Look, if you wanna get to know Mason i won't try and stop you" i said quickly before i lost my nerve.

"Of course i do!"

"if you do this you need to be in 100%, i wont have you breaking his heart when you get bored of playing daddy. Because i swear to god Chris, if you hurt my son i will fucking kill you"

"I promise, i'm in 110%"

"Okay....." i nodded taking a deep breath "we've got pizza coming, did you wanna stay for dinner.... meet your son?"

"Id love that" he smiled wiping a tear quickly from his face "did you ever tell him about me? I mean does he know who i am at all?"

"His seen old photo's of you before your Captain America days, knows your name... thats it"

"Where does he think i've been? He must have asked where i was?"

"Its only been the last year his really asked about it, when he started preschool and the other kids had dads picking them up..... guess he wanted to know why he didn't have one. I told him he did have one but you were away working"

"He must hate me"

"Chris his 5 and a half he doesn't know how to hate".

We were all sat around the coffee table in the living room, the two pizza boxes spread out between us. I had just finished explaining to Mason that Chris was the same man in the photo he had in his bedroom, that Chris was his dad. Mason stared at Chris for a while before taking a bite of his pizza.

"You look funny...." Mason casually said and i nearly choked on my mouthful of pizza.

"I guess i do look a little different" Chris smiled at him "what photo do you have?"

"I'll go get it!" He jumped up and run upstairs excitedly.

"Its just a photo of us when we were younger" i said casually looking at my slice of pizza like it was the most fascinating thing in the world "it was the only one i had...."

"What do you mean? You had loads of photos...."

"I did until i burnt them all"

"You burnt them?!" He asked wide eyed.

"I was mad at you" i shrugged "i didn't want to look at them anymore".

I was so full of shit, i had kept them all, stored away in the back of my closet where i tried to forget them. The only reason i gave Mason the older photo was because it was from a time when Chris and I were happy, before he left me.

Mason came running back in and gave Chris the photo, a smile spread across his face when he saw it was a photo of us taken at Disney on one of our trips to Florida.

"God i remember this day, it was a good day" he looked up and smiled.

"It was " i nodded wiping off my hands before getting up and going to the kitchen, i needed some space. As much as i tried to convince myself that i hated Chris, part of me couldn't help but love him and being in the same room with him after all this time was tough. I was getting a glass of water when i heard Mason ask Chris a question that broke me.

"Dad? Can you read me a story before bed? Mama always reads to me but you never have"

"Sure bud, if thats okay with your mom?" I heard him reply happily.

I couldn't help but cry silently.... my hand over my mouth to muffle any sound, i just couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Mom?" Mason was suddenly standing behind me "can dad stay to read me a story?"

I quickly wiped my eyes and turned to face him with a forced smile.

"Sure baby"

"Yes!" He shouted happily running back out "she said yes!".

I stood outside Mason's room listening to Chris read 'If You Give A Dog A Donut', Mason giggling along and making little comments here and there which would then make Chris laugh before carrying on. After a couple of minutes i left them to it and went downstairs to tidy up.

10 minutes or so passed before Chris reappeared, it felt awkward between us again now Mason wasn't here.

"Thank you for letting me do that Y/N"

"Mason wanted you to read to him, i find it hard to say no to that kid" i shrugged.

"I bet. His a great kid, you've done a good job with him"

"Thank you"

"I can't believe i've missed so much of his life..... you have no idea how much i hate myself"

Probably not as much as i've hated you! I said to myself but at the same time deciding there was something i could give him.

"Wait here a minute, i need to go get something" i mumbled passing him and going up to my room. I went to my closet and dug around in the back until i found the black leather storage box i was looking for.

When i got back downstairs i handed the box to Chris who looked confused.

"Its a thing i used to do when i found out i was pregnant, letters, photos and stuff" i said feeling my cheeks burn from embarrassment of how stupid i had been....I just couldn't really let him go.

"Its only stuff from during the pregnancy and maybe the first 1/2 years but you might wanna see" i shrugged folding my arms to stop them shaking.

"Thank you Y/N....."

"Sure, well its getting late you should probably be going...."

"Of course" he nodded quickly "can i give you a hug?...."

"No. We're not at the hugging stage Chris"

"Okay" he said sadly as we made our way to the front door "when can i see Mason again?"

"Whenever you want i just need a heads up"

"Tomorrow?"

"Sure"

"Why don't you see if Scott wants to come too?? I need to talk to that brother of yours"

"Don't be mad at him, he didn't tell me Mason was my son... just that you had a kid"

"Your telling me he wasn't the one to tell you to come see me again??"

He was silent and looking around nervously.... Scott told him to come see me!

"You forget i know you two too well"

"I wanted to see you again i did, i just.... i was being a fucking chicken shit. I knew you hated me"

"Can you blame me?"

"Not for a second"

"Okay.... im gonna go inside, we'll see you tomorrow?"

"I'll be here. Goodnight Y/N"

"Goodnight Chris" i said quietly before shutting the door and taking a deep breath to try and control my emotions, i was so sick of crying over fucking Chris Evans! I thought those days were over.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31

Ocean eyes: @supraveng @michelehansel @katiew1973 @denisemarieangelina @mrsjeffwittek @mery-be @marvelfansworld @cmalass @capstopavenger @fallenoutofrose @kelbabyblue @biebsmylife95 @loser-alert @traceyaudette @w3lissax

Taglist is open, drop me an ask or DM if you’d like to be added 💕

[flowerfan2]

One Night in Milwaukee - Ch. 5

I’m considering changing the title to “One Night in Milwaukee (and a week in Florida)...”  Enjoy and please reblog!

David x Patrick, 15k so far, A03

Chapter 5

David takes his time showering and doing his hair.  He had thought that his run would center him, but all it took was one quick conversation with Patrick to knock him off balance.  

He wishes he could put his own clothes back on, but since everything he brought with him is either in the wash or soaked in sweat, it’s not an option.  Tying a towel around his waist, he goes into the bedroom and looks through Patrick’s suitcase.  He allows himself a satisfying eye roll at the contents – the expected button-downs in shades of blue and green, jeans that probably won’t even fit David, and a few plain t-shirts and pairs of khaki shorts.  David sighs and selects briefs, shorts, and an olive green t-shirt, a nondescript fashion choice that would make his mother weep.  At least he’ll only have to wear them for an hour or so until his own clothes come out of the dryer.

He finds Patrick in the kitchen, hovering next to the island.

“I made eggs,” Patrick says, sliding a plate towards him.

“Thanks.”  The eggs are just like David likes them, with a sprinkle of salt and pepper, and a piece of toast on the side.  David recognizes the wheat bread he bought yesterday on his trip to the grocery store, somewhat bland but decent enough given the heaping of butter Patrick has spread on it.

They eat in silence for a few minutes, until the stress of it is too much for David to take.

“These are good.”

“It’s just scrambled, we didn’t have any cheese-”

“I can go to the store again, I didn’t know what you’d want-”

“You don’t have to do that,” Patrick says.  “You didn’t have to go in the first place.”

“So I shouldn’t have?”

“No, no, it was great that you did…” Patrick catches David’s gaze, and they both sigh.  “Why is this so awkward?” Patrick asks, taking their now empty plates and putting them in the sink.

“I don’t know, maybe because it’s been a long time, and things are different, and we both want everything to work out?  But there’s no guarantee.” David stands up and waves his hands at the neat little kitchen and the safe tan sofa with its blue and white pillows and the “Home Sweet Home” sign on the wall with an outline of the state of Florida.  He’s not sure he’s ever felt so out of place.  “And this is not somewhere I ever expected to be, and I really don’t know what to do with it.”

Patrick nods, that sadness coming over his face again, and it makes David want to strangle someone.  Not Patrick, never Patrick.  But whoever was responsible for taking his good, decent button and making him sad.

<i>It was you, you asshole,</i> his unhelpful brain tells him, and isn’t that just the worst.

“Want to see the pool?” Patrick asks, and although David can see it perfectly well from here, he figures it can’t hurt.  At least the screens will keep the alligators away.

They go outside, and the warmth of the sunshine surprises David. It’s gotten hotter even in the past hour since he was outside.  It may be late November, but this part of the world hasn’t gotten the message.  He wanders over to the pool and dips his toes in, then sits down by the steps in the shallow end and puts his feet in the water.

Patrick comes over and lowers himself to the concrete, David reaching out automatically to give him something to brace himself against.  When Patrick starts to put his feet in David stops him with a hand to his ankle, carefully rolling up one leg of his jeans and then the other.  David’s knuckles brush against the wiry hairs on Patrick’s leg as he neatly cuffs each pant leg.  He wants to roll Patrick’s shirt sleeves up, too, reveal more of his lovely forearms, but it seems a step too far.

“Thanks.”

“Wet jeans are an abomination,” David comments.

“Kind of like you wearing my khaki shorts?”  Patrick’s mouth quirks up in an attempt at a smile, and David’s heart lifts.

“Nice.  Just a few minutes again you said I looked good.”

The hint of a smile disappears, as David’s words fail to land the way he meant.  “I’m sorry, David, am I supposed to apologize for that?  I don’t understand why it upset you.  You do look good.  Clearly you’ve been working out – aren’t you allowed to be pleased with the outcome?”

David squeezes his eyes closed and leans his head back.  “Yes?  But…” He’s not sure how to explain it.  “It’s not about vanity, or, appearance.  I know that probably sounds fake, coming from me,” he opens his eyes and looks at Patrick, who is gazing back as patient and open as ever, “but it’s true.”

“Okay,” Patrick says, clearly waiting for David to fill in the blanks.  David had hoped a discussion about this particular part of his recent history could have been put off, possibly indefinitely, but it’s feeling like one of those moments when he’ll regret it if he brushes it off again.  And maybe opening up will get Patrick to do the same.

“I was pretty depressed, after we broke up,” David says, running the tips of his fingers through the water, watching the ripples spread across the surface of the pool.  “Couldn’t get out of bed, lost interest in everything… you know how it goes.”  He’s not sure Patrick does, but he can’t help but try to make light of it, as awful as it was.  It’s hard to really focus on those months, the drag of gray haze that wouldn’t clear.  “Eventually I started seeing a therapist.”

“You mentioned that,” Patrick says, and David relaxes a fraction, because he had forgotten.  Maybe this won’t be that hard, then.  It hasn’t chased Patrick away yet.  

“Right.  Well, he recommended a bunch of stuff to try, including exercising regularly, and I resisted at first-”

“Obviously,” Patrick says.

David glares up at Patrick, who’s got his best trolling face on, deliciously familiar, and suddenly spilling his guts doesn’t seem so embarrassing anymore.  “Anyway, once I started, it wasn’t so bad.  Despite what I once told you about running… it worked for me.”  That and laying off the alcohol.

“That’s great, David.”

“Well, Alexis says I just replaced one obsession with another.”

“Is that so bad, when it’s a healthy one?”

“You didn’t have to put up with me when I couldn’t go out for a run because of crappy weather, or inconveniently scheduled vendor meetings.”

There’s a hitch in the rhythm of their banter, and Patrick takes David’s hand in his.  “I wish I did.  I wish I was there.”

David feels his chest tighten, and he gives Patrick’s hand a squeeze.  “Me too.”

They sit there with their feet in the water, like little kids in a backyard wading pool.  There’s no breeze to speak of, but it’s not completely quiet.  The sound of the highway a few streets away provides a bit of background noise, and a weird bird keeps making a strangled chirpy sound from a hedge on the side of the house.  

David’s past encounters with Florida involved multi-million-dollar yachts, tanned supermodels, and free-flowing booze and drugs, not this strange version of suburbia.  He imagines this house sitting empty for most of the year, waiting for its owners to come and visit.  How many of the cookie cutter three-bedrooms in this neighborhood are empty right now?  How many swimming pools are noticed only by the staff who come by weekly to clean them and make sure nothing has crawled into the filters and died?

“This water’s probably terrible for your skin,” David says, and Patrick looks at him in mild confusion.  “Because of all the chemicals.”  

Patrick shrugs.  “I guess.”

“There are chemicals in here, right?”

“I don’t know, which would upset you more – the amount of chlorine dumped in here or the water being left in its natural state?”

David pulls his feet out of the water and stretches his legs to the side, the concrete warm on his heels.   “I’m honestly not sure.  But maybe we shouldn’t take any chances.”

Patrick stands up, leaning hard on David’s shoulder as he goes.  “Wait here.  I’ll be right back.”

David stays put, although now that he’s thinking about what might be in the pool water he wouldn’t mind rinsing off and applying some lotion.  Or some hand sanitizer.

Patrick comes back out of the house with an armload of cushions and drops them onto the lounge chairs by the other end of the pool.  “Come help me set these up.”

It only takes a moment to unfold the brightly patterned cushions and tie them into place (ah, there’s the Hawaiian floral, David thinks to himself).  While David is arranging the loungers to his liking, facing the sun, Patrick comes back with two bottles of water.  David twists off the top and rinses his feet while Patrick squawks at him.

“What?  Was that not what this was for?”  He tries not to smile.

“David.  That water was to drink.  There’s an outdoor shower over there.”  Patrick points to the side of the house, then seems to regret his decision.  “But don’t walk out there without shoes, okay?”

“What, will the baby alligators nip at my toes?”

Patrick grins at him.  “No, but the fire ants will.”

“What the hell kind of place is this?”

“It’s just nature, David.  As long as you wear shoes in the grass, you’ll be fine.”

“I feel like the state of Florida must have had some really good marketing professionals along the way.  Alexis should get a job with them.  They’ve managed to convince people that this pest-ridden swampland is worth something.”

“Arguably that is kind of what happened.  You know Disney World was built on reclaimed swampland, right?”

“I did not know that.”

“Anyway, this neighborhood isn’t all there is.  Give me another day to rest up, then I’ll show you around.”

Another day to rest isn’t really going to cut it, David thinks, watching Patrick wince as he eases himself down in the chair.  He wonders again what Patrick had in mind when he made his escape to the sunshine state, which brings them right back to the conversation Patrick keeps avoiding.

“Patrick, how long, exactly, are you planning on staying here?”  David asks, hoping that the direct approach might actually get him an answer.

Patrick stares up at the sky.  “I don’t know.”

Patrick’s hair looks like polished copper in the sunlight, but David tries not to let it distract him.  “How much time can you take off from work?” David presses.  “Or are you working remotely doing… whatever you are doing now?”

Patrick takes a long gulp from his water bottle, then stares at his feet.  “I’m unemployed.  I lost my job about a month ago,” he says bitterly.

“Oh.”  David is surprised, to say the least, especially by Patrick’s tone.  He’s always seemed like he would be the ideal employee, eager to please and determinedly hardworking.  “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah.  Well, after you piss off a major customer, it’s hard to convince your employer to retain you.”

“It can’t have been that bad.  I don’t think I can imagine you pissing off a customer.”

“It was, and I did.”

“What on earth did you do?”

“Do you really want to know?”

David sits up and squints at Patrick, no longer enjoying the sun on his face. He doesn’t even have sunglasses with him, a major miscalculation. “Yes, of course.”

Patrick leans back and closes his eyes.  “I was working as an account manager at a software company.  It was boring as hell.  Sales, mostly, skating by with just enough technical knowledge about the product to capture the customer’s interest, and then serving as the liaison between the customer and the tech guys who actually knew what they were doing.  But I kept screwing things up, and when the customers would want to know why the contract didn’t have the terms they wanted, or why I was taking so long to get back to them, I just didn’t have the patience to deal with it.”

“That doesn’t sound like you.”

Patrick opens his eyes and looks at David, and he looks almost as bewildered as David is.  “No, it doesn’t, does it?”

David has the feeling there’s more to this story, but Patrick doesn’t elaborate, and all David really wants to do is give him a hug.

“You know, I have a feeling you don’t have an ounce of sunscreen on.  You’re going to be bright red if we stay out here any longer.”  David stands up and holds out a hand to Patrick, then slides his arm around his back to pull him up.  When they’re both upright, he loops his arms around Patrick’s neck and pulls him close.

Patrick presses his face against David’s neck.  “I’m a mess, David,” he says, his breath hot on David’s skin.  “I don’t know what happened to me.”

“I think we’ve both been a little lost,” David says, holding Patrick tight.  “But I know what will fix it.”

“Yeah?”  There’s an almost pathetically hopeful note in Patrick’s voice.

“Absolutely.”

“What?”

“Running.  Miles of it.  Every day.  It’s a miracle drug.”  David is struggling to keep up his serious tone, and not quite succeeding.

Patrick chokes out a laugh, pressing a hand against his ribs.  “I don’t think I’m quite up for running yet.”

“Well fine, then, you’ll just have to watch me do it.  It’s almost as good.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Patrick says, and kisses David soundly.  David hesitates for a second and then enthusiastically participates, and they are both breathing heavily by the time they pull apart.

“Not that I’m complaining, but what brought that on?” David asks as they go inside, the shade welcome after the bright sunshine.  He keeps a hand on Patrick as they go, not so much to make sure he doesn’t fall over but because he doesn’t want to lose this connection, now that he’s found it again.

Patrick takes hold of David’s waist, his eyes on David’s brighter than they’ve looked in days.  “You.  I thought I was dreaming, sometimes, remembering how much I liked you – loved you, too, but just fucking liked you.  But I wasn’t.”

“I’m the best,” David says, half-joking, but there’s a familiar happiness bursting inside his chest.

“You are, David.  You really are.”

[prole-my-tariat]

Long post about American politics -specifically California and how we are fucking up.... it’s a good read, just a lot.

Okay, I just want to remind everyone of of few things as we draw closer to a legit recall vote on Gavin Newsom.

1) This movement stated as (and still emplofies) a calling for the worst kind of people - This began with a group of people who just haaaaaaaad to go outside because they were over participating in basic human decency. Then, billionaires used the vaccine debacle as a jumping point to get taxes lowered. Please don’t think they care about wether or not we get vaccinated. They just don’t want to pay taxes.

This has morphed into a call to arms over CAs vaccine response. They are hiding behind a legit issue to push their anti worker narrative.

We need to stop seeing every problem as one sole persons fault. This is a product of late stage capitalism and white supremacy. We are so fixated on “American individualism” that we oft forget that these things don’t happen because of one individual person. Corporations use this against us constantly!!

Newsom is not perfect. He was an idiot to go to that dinner and he rolled over and ended the stay at home order like a fucking idiot. BUT CA has so many more issues that were always going to make a vaccine rollout hard:

- we have the largest state population in the nation.

- there are not enough medical workers for our population.

- many people in our state are undocumented and we can’t and should not leave them behind. They are often skeptic of any database that might take their name and age (and most likely ask for a social). But without adequate medical personnel, getting into each county can be difficult.

- people are still not following covid guidelines!!! We have had huge spikes in hospitalizations and deaths. How can the health care workers we do have give vaccines if they are over worked at hospitals??

- I would not look at other states already vaccinating 20 somethings(outside of high risk) as a win. This means that the vaccines were not distributed with the population in mind. This is such a theme in our country and it goes back to individualism. State individualism. States just don’t have to care that NY and CA have higher populations because it is just not their problem.

- those states are also showing a world wide failure. Young people here should not be getting vaccines, while elders in the developing world are dying because their countries can’t compete with 1st world buyouts.

-vaccine costs. Fuck Bill Gates. He convinced companies to patent and sell the vaccine rather than donate. A fucking asshole.

This brings me to my next and most important point:

2) WE CAN NOT HAVE CHANGE WITHOUT SOLITION!!!

As leftist, I see this trap all of the time. Change is good and needs to happen, but if we let certain things happen without solution, we leave a vacuum for fascism. We cannot let a dangerous group have the answer.

Let’s consider the current candidate to replace Newsom, a tech billionaire. He promises lowered taxes, higher pay for teachers, and a $2000 payment for ever child in California. Pretend everything he says is not full of shit and he is actually going to pay every teacher 70000/year (and not break it up by income in each county....as he def would) and that he will pay $2000 for every kid (will this extend to our undocumented children, probs not).

Please please understand that the lump sum payments we are offered will NEVER amount to the money we loose by not taxing billionaires adequately. This supposed higher pay will not stop teachers from having to use their own money to provide supplies for their classrooms/kids. It won’t change the ridiculous housing market. It won’t fix our school buildings. It won’t provide after school programs. It is a eye catcher, not a solution.

If we really want to provide more funds to schools, we would repeal prop 13. That prop is the fucking biggest joke and hold up of our state. We are allowing huge corporations, such as Disney, to pay property taxes from the fucking 70s!!!!! Property taxes are supposed to fund k-12 schools. But we are not receiving that money, so our schools go underfunded.

Though it gets worse, we supplement a lot of that dispenancy using state tax. This takes away from infrastructure, social programs, affordable housing supplements, etc...If that and sales tax are cut, we loose that funding too. It’s a downward spiral with only one group in a good position. The 1%.

“But these companies are threatening to leave to Texas/Florida, where there are little/no taxes!”

Fucking let them try. We don’t have higher taxes in our state for the fucking hell of it. We have higher taxes because the current capitalistic structure requires a lot of underpaid skilled workers to keep these corporations going. Withthis work force comes families, Schools/education, housing needs, medical needs, shopping, dining, etc.... the social programs needed to barely keep the working class breathing are paid by taxes. The programs created to make it possible for the work force to live an hour away from their under paid job requires taxes. You need large infrastructure, room, accessibility. Taxes go up when corporations go in. Texas and Florida will not remain tax less or low on taxes. They will have to compensate the workforce that comes with these billionaires.

Billionaires know this. If they didn’t they would have jumped ship long ago. They want their California homes and they know they need the working/undocumented class in this state. AND specifically the infrastructure built around and for these working working class peoples (it also keeps the working class away from them). They are going to do everything they can to bleed us dry, while keeping their fourth beach house and their new offices.

We are hyped right now due to the GME stonks “revolution.” We need to keep this energy going. The one percent do not flourish without us. And I am done just barely surving.

Be wary of any promises to cut taxes, they will never benefit you and lump sum payments are created to keep us quite.

The other two candatites I’ve seen circling are Uber right wing jokes. They spread Q bullshit and use really deragatory language.

Don’t. loose. your. fight. They are getting scared because they have had to accept that the masses aren’t stupid. That’s another reason for them to push to open the country. The working class has never been less intelligent, they have just had less time. We have time now. Use it to show that this system can destroy them too.

Thanks for reading. I’m going to end up writing a paper on the danger and destruction of American Individualism, but message me if you want to discuss it.

[boushh2187]

Unexpected - RCIJ 2020

Title: Unexpected

By @boushh2187

Fandom: Once Upon a Time

Pairing: Rumbelle

Rumbelle Christmas in July 2020 

Gift for @lotus0kid

Prompt: “I’m doing you a favor”

Word Count: 4053

Rated: PG

Author’s Note: I really hope you enjoy the story, lotus0kid, and that it makes you smile!

Summary: Storybrooke AU. Mr. Gold finds himself on an unexpected trip.

“When you think about it, I’m doing you a favor.”

“Shouldn’t that be my line?” Richard Gold looked up from his seat in Archibald Hopper’s office, his expensive three piece suit a bit wrinkled after all day wear. Dr. Hopper also wore a suit, though one that had seen better days. He looked slightly uncomfortable at being caught repeating the kind of words Gold often used, but only slightly. Perhaps, after a few long chats in this office over the years, Dr. Hopper felt as if they were friends. Gold wasn’t sure he’d go that far, even if Dr. Hopper knew more about Gold’s personal life than anyone in the town of Storybrooke, Maine. He had, after all, just threatened him with eviction for not having this month’s rent, but perhaps Dr. Hopper also knew that it was rather an idle threat. At least, due to the circumstances.

He looked across the room at Pongo. Dr. Hopper’s Dalmatian was resting on top of a comfortable looking blanket on top of his bed. The poor dog was recovering from surgery. His leg was wrapped up in a cast and he was drowsy from the procedure and the pain medicine. Gold had a soft spot for Pongo, and understood that Dr. Hopper had used the rent money and then some for this unexpected procedure.

“It’s the perfect solution,” Dr. Hopper continued, pushing up his glasses and sitting up straighter. I don’t have the money, due to Pongo’s surgery, but I do have this trip I was to go on, and now I need to stay with Pongo. You can go in my stead. It’s all expenses paid. I won it in a contest, so you don’t have to worry about a thing. I can make all of the changes with the company and you can even invite your son.” His smile reached his eyes, and the thought obviously made him happy. Dr. Hopper was one of very few people in this town that even knew he had a son, and how much Gold loved his son, and missed him.

Bae would probably enjoy it, and might be able to find a way to convince his mother to allow him to miss school. “That isn’t a bad idea. I haven’t seen him in months. It would be the perfect reason for his mother to allow him to go away with me.”

Archie brightened even more, if that was possible. “I told you! I really would be grateful if you would take this deal.”

Gold was amused. “I think you might be adapting some of my quirks.” This time, Dr. Hopper grinned and walked over to his small cabinet and pulled out a bottle of scotch. Gold nodded when Dr. Hopper nudged the bottle towards him as an offer. Adapting some of his quirks, indeed. Dr. Hopper poured them both a glass and they shared a moment of silence as they enjoyed the fine liquid. Gold put his glass down. “And I sincerely hope that Pongo mends swiftly. Call me with the details as soon as possible so that I can make arrangements with my son.”

“Will do!” Dr. Hopper was already rummaging through his papers to make the relevant calls. Hopefully, this will turn out to be a good way to reconnect with his teenage son. 

*****

Mr. Gold boarded the plane looking more like he was going to a business meeting instead of a vacation. He had a shoulder bag that held his travel essentials, and he’d checked his other luggage. It took some effort to move through the narrow aisle of the plane with his bag and his cane. He resisted the temptation of blowing his hair out of his eyes. His hair was shoulder length, as he’d worn it since before Bae was born, except that now there were generous amounts of grey along his temples and sideburns. Where had the time gone? He would hopefully be meeting his fourteen year old son at the hotel. Fourteen! In the last picture his son had sent him, Bae looked like he’d grown a foot, and he had grown his hair out like his father, except there was much more curl to his son’s hair, unlike his. He’d taken from his mother in that regard. Gold really hoped that Milah would not resist allowing Bae to take this trip on his own to meet his father.

After what seemed like ages of waiting for people to place their carry ons in the overhead bins, Gold was finally at his seat. This plane had two seats on either side of the aisle. It was quite small, and he had wished he’d convinced the company that provided Dr. Hopper with this winning trip to allow him to upgrade to first class.

The window seat was already occupied, and he looked carefully at his ticket. He did indeed have the aisle seat, which on the one hand helped because he could stretch out his bad ankle if he really needed to, but on the other hand he might have to get up over and over again if he had an annoying neighbor. He took his seat, took the newspaper out of his bag, and placed his bag underneath the chair. He put his seatbelt on and settled in with the folded newspaper in his lap. It read: June 1st, 1983. At least he was able to get today’s paper at the airport.

“Good Morning, Mr. Gold.” He started, and turned in the direction of the voice. The Australian accent was unmistakable. He knew this person. She was from Storybrooke as well. The daughter of the local florist. 

“Ms. French, I didn’t expect to see you here. Good Morning.” He was, in fact, quite taken aback. Truth be told she often took his breath away, especially when he ran into her unexpectedly in town. There were times when he knew he might see her: at Granny’s Diner for breakfast or lunch, at the library where she worked, at her father’s shop, or even in his shop, when she would stop by looking for rare books or tea sets. However, this was something else entirely. He’d never imagined running into here on a plane of all places, and looking as lovely as ever. She was dressed in bright yellow flower patterned sundress, and her sunglasses were perched on top of her head. Her  brown hair fell in waves, covering her bare shoulders.

“Didn’t Archie tell you I’d be going on this trip too?”

“Oh no, he failed to mention that. I… I didn’t realize that the two of you were together.” The last bit somehow made it out of his mouth instead of staying in his thoughts.

“Oh, no… we aren’t.” She reached out and touched his hand, and he tried not to react in any way. “We were just going as friends, since I was there at Granny’s and encouraged him to enter the contest. It was for up to four guests. Ruby and Billy were going to come too, but it didn’t work out.”

“I see… well I’m probably not going to be as good company as your friends…”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Mr. Gold. I always enjoy chatting with you.”

He managed to smile back at her. “I enjoy our talks as well, Ms. French.” She smiled back at him and leaned back in her chair. 

“Archie mentioned that your son might be joining us?”

For a moment, Gold was angry with Dr. Hopper for mentioning his son, but Belle was so very sweet in how she inquired that he relaxed immediately.

“Yes, I’m hoping his mother will allow him to make the trip on his own. He’s fourteen now, and I think he can manage. I’m supposed to call them when we land and make sure he will be joining me.”

“Oh I’m sure he will come. He’ll enjoy visiting Disney World too! So many rides. This is my first time visiting, but I did go to DisneyLand once when I was his age. I loved it.”

They mostly spent the flight in companionable silence. She read her book and he read the paper, commenting on interesting things they read. As they left their seats to exit the plane, Belle reached up to retrieve her carry on. Gold thought for a moment, how best to help her with his bad leg hindering him. Before he could come up with a solution, a tall lad reached up and took her bag down for her. She thanked him politely and Gold allowed her to move ahead of him as they exited the plane. He tried not to glare at the young man behind him.

*****

They shared a cab to the hotel and stepped up to different desks to check in. Gold made sure to request an adjoining room for Bae who would be arriving in the early evening as per his ex-wife’s assurances. Belle and Gold parted ways after check in, with Belle heading up just ahead of him. When he arrived at his room, he set up his luggage and looked around. It wasn’t bad. They had set them up at the Contemporary, which was quite nice, and had easy access to the Magic Kingdom park. The rooms were higher end than Gold had expected from a trip that was not paid for by the guests. Gold’s room had two double beds and a balcony with a theme park view. The concierge assured him that they would have a wonderful view of the fireworks. Gold discovered the door to the adjoining room and decided to take a look at Bae’s room and make sure all was well before he arrived. 

He opened the door and nearly fell back into his room. He had to steady himself with his cane. He hadn’t opened the door to an empty room, as he had expected. Instead, he had barged in on Belle, who was unpacking her luggage and laying out her clothes onto the bed. He had, unfortunately, arrived just in time to see her holding up her nightgown, which was practically see through, and definitely more suited for Florida heat than the cooler weather in Maine.

“I’m so… so sorry,” he stammered, as Belle stared at him with a mixture of surprise and what he thought was amusement. He felt flushed with embarrassment, and that never happened to him. She placed the nightgown on the bed, and put her hands on her hips. “I thought this was going to be empty. I had requested an adjoining room for my son…”

“It’s OK, I think I understand what happened.” Belle said, gently. “You need to remember that you and I are on the same vacation. You requested an adjoining room, but the trip was originally intended for a family vacation. One room for the adults, and the other for the kids.” She beckoned him inside. He took a few steps in, feeling very awkward, and hoping he didn’t show it at all. He normally didn’t betray his emotions, but with Belle, it was different.

Belle’s room had a large king sized bed, and the same balcony and view. “I see. So this must be the room they had intended for the adults, and I have...” he turned to indicate the open door to the other room.

“The kids room,” Belle chuckled. “Do you want this room? I don’t mind.”

“No, no. I’ll see if I can change things around. May, I?” he indicated the room’s telephone, and Belle nodded.

After a five minute long conversation with the concierge he gave up.

“No other rooms. Cheerleader convention.” That time, Belle laughed out loud, heartily 

“Bae and I can share my room. It’s quite alright. We have two beds. I had hoped to give him his own room, but this will be fine…”

“Thank you, Mr. Gold.”

“Not at all. I’m sorry to have barged in this way. I hope you know that I didn’t intend to interrupt--” he indicated all of the clothes on the bed.

“I didn’t mind.” She smiled at him, somewhat flirty, though Gold was sure that was his imagination. He had imagined that kind of thing on more than one occasion in their past interactions, and he always immediately admonished himself. Belle was not someone that would be interested in him. She was a beautiful, kind, intelligent, PhD student, who could find someone much better suited for her. And someone closer to her age too. He was a good fifteen years her senior. He shouldn’t even entertain the thought.

*****

Belle was done changing into her comfortable clothes for the evening. She had decided to stay at the hotel and order in, perhaps watch the fireworks from the balcony, and then get an early start in the morning. She thought that she might ask Mr. Gold and his son if they wanted to visit the parks together, but she hadn’t decided on whether she would be intruding or not. The thing was that she was quite excited to have found herself in this situation. She had always had a bit of a crush on Mr. Gold, ever since she had arrived in Storybrooke after Grad School. It was over three years already, and while she’d had a couple of boyfriends, no one ever really kept her interest. Of course, she knew he was quite a few years older than her, but she never paid much attention to that sort of thing. She was a grown woman who could go out with whomever she wanted. She was getting ahead of herself. Even though she had a feeling that he returned her interest, she wasn’t certain. Still, seeing how he blushed earlier gave her a little bit of hope. 

There was a knock at her door. Perhaps it was Mr. Gold calling? She opened the door and took a peek through the crack. It was a boy, a teenager, slightly taller than she was, with tousled brown hair. This had to be Bae! “Hello!” she greeted him.

“I’m sorry, I think I must have the wrong room.” He looked down at some wrinkled papers in his hand. 

“You must be Bae!”

The boy looked surprised at first, but recovered quickly. “I like Neal better, actually. My parents just call me Bae. It’s a nickname.”

“For Baelfire, I know. It’s your middle name. Your dad told me. He’s going to be so happy to see you. He’s been looking forward to it so much.”

Neal looked like he was trying to process everything. He was still standing outside the room and he looked like he was trying to peer inside. “Is my dad staying with you?” he asked slowly, uncertainly.

Belle smiled at him and responded coyly, “Yes, and no. He’s next door. I’ll let him explain it to you.” She put her arm on his shoulder and led him toward Mr. Gold’s room. Neal knocked on the door and it was a moment before Gold appeared and smiled so broadly that Belle was certain she’d never seen him look so happy. 

“Bae!”

Neal hugged his father tightly, “It’s Neal now, Papa. Remember?” He was smiling when he pulled away. 

“I’ll let you two get reacquainted,” Belle said. “Have a good evening.”

“Nice meeting you… I”m sorry, I don’t know your name.”

“Oh forgive me! It’s Belle. Nice meeting you too, Neal.” She waved goodbye and went back to her room, feeling very happy for Mr. Gold.

*****

“So she isn’t your girlfriend?” Neal asked, for the second time. He was sprawled out on one of the double beds, clicking through the channels on the TV.

“Bae, I’ve already answered that question.” He looked up over the large map of the Magic Kingdom park that he was analyzing. He was determined that his son have a good time on this vacation.

“Are you sure, though?” 

Gold folded the map in half and gave his son an exasperated look. “Of course I’m sure, Bae.”

“Well then, I’m pretty sure she wants to be your girlfriend.”

Gold sighed. This was getting a bit out of hand.

“She likes you, Dad. Mom says I have a 6th sense about these kinds of things. I always know who is going to end up dating at school before they do.” Neal sat up on the bed. “Don’t you think she’s pretty?”

“Of course, but that’s besides the point. She wouldn’t be interested in me, and that’s a fact.”

Neal laughed. “Trust me, Dad. She likes you.”

“Can we please change the subject?” Gold asked, wearily.

“Sure. I think we need to discuss something else. You aren’t going to go to the parks in a suit every day, are you?” Neal pointed at the suits hanging in the closet.

Gold suddenly found himself at a loss for words. He hadn’t considered that at all, but he had nothing else with him. “It’ll be fine, Bae.” He was trying to reassure himself, as much as Bae.

“No way, Dad. I’m going to get Belle to back me up on this one.” Before Gold could stop him, Neal was up out of bed and knocking on the door to the connecting room.

It took all of one minute for Belle to open the door curiously.

“Belle you have to tell my dad that he can’t wear his usual clothes to the parks. He’s going to melt.”

Belle laughed at the colorful expression. “I don’t think he’d melt exactly, but he’d probably be very uncomfortable. You don’t have anything more suitable for the hot weather and for all the walking?” 

She directed the question to Gold, and he shook his head, lamely. She turned back to Neal. “You know what you have to do then,” she said, solemnly. “You have to take him shopping. There are many shops in this hotel, and they all will still be open. Why don’t you two go shopping and before you go we can decide on something for dinner. I’ll order it while you two are out, and by the time you get back the food will be here for you.”

Gold couldn’t deny that this sounded like a good idea, and it made him feel so very good to have Belle helping him navigate this situation. 

*****

Over dinner it was decided that the three of them would go to the Magic Kingdom park together. Gold was dressed in a white t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. Neal had tried to get him into a pair of shorts, but it wasn’t happening. It was going to look odd enough limping around with his silver tipped cane in that outfit. Not nearly as dignified as when wearing a suit. Both Belle and Bae wore tank tops, and shorts, and they slathered on the sunscreen. Belle made sure to give Gold some too, and she even rubbed some on the bridge of his nose before he could protest. 

They spent the day together going on various rides. Gold was glad that Belle was with them. Occasionally, he would sit out on some of the rides and she would go with Bae. They went on Space Mountain, and the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad together. They all went on the Mad Tea Party ride, even though it made Gold a bit queasy. Pirates of the Carribean was amusing, and they were able to ride that one together. Both Belle and Bae grabbed onto him when the ride suddenly dropped in the dark. By the time they went on the Haunted Mansion ride, Neal had made some young friends from the cheerleader convention. Belle and Gold ended up alone in the same car, and Belle held onto his hand the entire time, alternating being thrilled, spooked, and fascinated by the ride. 

By the evening the three of them functioned almost like a little family. That’s what it felt like to Gold, and he would be very sad when this trip was over and they went back to their regular lives. Neal had wanted them to stay in line for Peter Pan’s Flight, but Gold had asked to sit that one out. Belle offered to keep him company while Neal went with his newfound friends. It was getting close to the hour of the fireworks display and the park was emptying out in certain areas, as people gathered to watch the show. Many of the rides had shorter lines for that reason, so he hoped that Neal wouldn’t be too long and they would be able to find a spot to watch the fireworks show. 

Belle led him to a bench near a running fountain. This section of the park was quieting down as the crowds moved towards Cinderella’s Castle. The sound of the fountain was soothing after the long day. They sat together for a bit, and Belle slipped her hand in his. It wasn’t the first time that day, or the second, or the third. Gold had been trying very hard not to read into it, but it was difficult not to. Belle had been very close to him all day. He also had been behaving in a more familiar manner with her. Something was changing, or perhaps it was something finally coming to light.

“Mr. Gold. I have a confession to make.”

Gold swallowed hard.  “Oh?” He tried to sound more curious than nervous.

“I like you very much. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I have liked you for a very long time.”

“I like you too, Ms. French. You’re very good company.”

“Please call me Belle. I’ve asked you before.” 

“Yes, Belle. I’m sorry. Old habits…”

“You do understand what I’m saying, don’t you?” She took her hand and placed it on his cheek, making him face her.

“I do, I just don’t quite believe it.”

“I’ve enjoyed this day so much, haven’t you?”

He nodded.

“I want to have more days like this, where we get to spend time together, because I think you like me just as much as I like you.”

She was gently stroking his cheek. “Am I correct?”

He remembered Neal’s words from last night: “She likes you, Dad” and wondered if she’d overheard them. He had felt the connection between them all throughout this trip, but he refused to believe it. He wasn’t going to deny it anymore. “Belle French, I like you very much indeed.” 

She sighed in relief, and smiled. “Mr. Gold, I’d like to kiss you now.”

“Under one condition,” he said, smiling. “You have to stop calling me Mr. Gold.”

“Deal,” she said, and leaned forward. He met her half way and they shared a sweet, gentle kiss. He pulled back, and gauged her reaction. She didn’t seem like she wanted him to move too far, and pulled him back for a deeper kiss.

“Dad! Come on we’re going to miss the… fireworks… show…” Neal stopped in front of them, out of breath from having run over from the ride nearby. His jaw hung open, and it took him a moment to recover. He clapped and pointed at his father. “I told you, Dad! I know about this stuff! Since you guys are busy, is it ok if I head over with my friends? I can meet you back here.”

“You can go on ahead, but not too far, we’ll be right behind you,” Belle said, and pulled Gold up from his seat. She linked her arm with his and they followed Neal as he met up with his friends just up the path. 

“When we get back to Storybrooke, would you like to go to dinner with me?” Gold asked.

Belle chuckled. “Most definitely yes. Maybe we can have some fireworks in Storybrooke too,” she teased, and squeezed his arm. 

Instead of being taken aback this time, he teased in return, “I think it is quite likely after that last display.” She leaned in closer, and the fireworks went off above the castle. The crowd around them cheered, and music played through the speakers around them. They walked arm in arm and found a spot near Neal and his new friends. They were pointing and marveling at the display. Belle leaned against him as they watched, and Gold had a sudden feeling of gratitude towards Dr. Hopper. He really did do him a big favor.

The End.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #406

“turned on all the lights, the tv, and the radio  /  still, i can’t escape the ghost of you”

Have you ever had an ulcer? No. Do you have any rare medical conditions? I believe AvPD is considered to be a rare mental disorder. Do you have to carry an epi pen? No. What color is your mailbox? I think it's black. I don't pay attention. Would you ever want a job working with animals? I'd love to. The thing is, without a degree in something, my duties working with animals would almost certainly involve cleaning up after them, which I am WAY too squeamish with fecal matter and vomit to do. It's extremely embarrassing, but I've never even been able to clean up after my own pets if they ever had an accident or got sick. I obviously couldn't do it with random animals. Did you have a good high school experience? It's... so odd, retrospecting on high school. In some ways, it was the best time of my life because of my memories with my friends and especially Jason, but at the time, I absolutely loathed it and was horribly depressed. But at least I saw a future for myself. I took better care of myself, all that stuff... That Brittany would be fucking mortified to get a glimpse at who she becomes. Have you ever watched any Monty Python movies? Which one is your favourite? I know I've seen some of at least one. Would you ever get a "below the belt" piercing? Nah. If a couple is married, do you think there should be any legal punishment if one person cheats? No...? Like don't get me wrong at all, I am firmly against cheating under any circumstance, but for there to be legal retribution seems extreme. What is the greatest source of anxiety for you? My future. Are there any hallucinogenic drugs you’d like to try? Nah man. What made you choose your current job? I'm unemployed. Do you feel uncomfortable on the dance floor? Or are you confident with you dancing abilities? Oh hunny, you won't see me on the dance floor. Unless MAYBE if the Cha-Cha Slide comes on, or the Cupid Shuffle. That's as skilled as I get, haha. Is it exciting to you to imagine having an affair with a teacher? ... No??????????? It's fucking creepy. Adultery isn't exciting. Do you like your smile? No. I absolutely look high when I smile. What is something silly that you believed to be true when you were a child? That I could invoke the traits of any animal, which I just referred to as my "animal powers." Like for example, if I "called upon" a kangaroo, I could jump higher. I was a weird fucking kid. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone you completely connected with on a mental/emotional level, but did not find physically attractive in any way? Was physical intimacy a problem? How did it work out? I was never really physically attracted to Girt, but it was never a big deal to me. I cared way more about his personality and how much he cared about me. We were never really "intimate," per se, we just would give each other a simple peck. It didn't work out, but not at all because of physical things. He was just too much of a brother to me. What classic or cult movie have you never seen and have no desire to? Hm. I know there's some, but I'm blanking. Does The Human Centipede count here? Like everyone knows about it, so I would assume it does. I have ZERO desire to see a second of that repulsive movie. Have you ever taken a real liking to a band/singer you never ever....ever thought you'd enjoy? Maybe Melanie Martinez? Her voice is so cutesy, as are some of her songs, but I really enjoy how dark her lyrics can be. People who know me would probably be shocked to hear I thoroughly like her. After seeing the movie Avatar did you suddenly view our Earth as ugly and/or boring? If you have not seen the movie, do you think it’s worth your time? I've seen a little bit of it, but I never finished it because I was very tired and chose to go to sleep. I actually do want to see the full thing, though; it looks very good. How helpful are your parents to you? Would they help you to pay for your first apartment? College? Where does the line end? My parents are truly incredible with helping me the best they are capable of. They helped me pay for school, among other things, but I doubt they'd help with my first home, whenever that is. I wouldn't really want them to, either, because that's my responsibility for sure. Do you like playing video games? If so, what do you usually play? I love video games, and horror is absolutely my favorite genre. I also love fantasy games though with deep stories. I've never been the best at playing super long games, like Final Fantasy games, even if I'm seriously invested in the story, though. I burn out. Have you ever sewn a garment? No. Are there any plants in the room you’re in? No. I don't bother with plants. What’s your highest level of education? Some college. What’s the most important thing in any kind of relationship? Proper communication, probably. If you wear lipstick, what’s your favourite colour to wear? I only really put on lipstick to occasionally take a picture, and it's pretty much always black. Is your style feminine, masculine or somewhere in the middle? Somewhere in the middle, I guess? Are there a lot of dragonflies around your house? I've never seen one around this house, and I doubt I ever will because it's too urban. When we lived in the woods, however, I saw them a lot. Of all the Disney couples, which one would you say is your favorite? Kovu and Kiara came to my mind first. Do you think it is cute/funny or disgraceful when a child swears? It's shocking, more than anything. You don't expect it. I don't believe it should be encouraged, but only because children just don't know when swearing really isn't appropriate. If/when you have a baby, how do you think you would want to decorate its room? I don't want kids, but I'll entertain the question and assume this is before the child is born and develops interests. Whether it's a boy or a girl, I'd probably go with a cutesy animal theme. Would you more likely buy a shirt with a picture of Mickey/Minnie Mouse, a Winnie the Pooh character, Snoopy, Hello Kitty, or Tweety Bird on it? None, honestly. Perhaps like, a gothic Hello Kitty. Of all the states you have been to, which one did you have the best experiences? Putting aside the AWFUL heat and humidity, I probably had the best time in Florida. I loved all the palm trees, seeing so many lizards on my grandma's patio, and going to Disney World was a blast. I liked that swimming pools were always warm, too. Have you ever had a crush on someone “too young” for you? No. Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to? No. I was madly in love with him, so no regrets on that. If your boyfriend ever hit you, would you dump him? HA, BYYYYEEEEEEEEE MOTHERFUCKER. ZERO hesitation. Did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize? He did, but I honestly don't know if he meant it. Is there anything you want to say to someone? It'll probably go unsaid for the rest of my life. If they were to televise a live execution, would you watch it? Yikes, hard pass. If you could be the president of the USA, would you be willing to do it? Noooo thank you. Did you wake up in the middle of the night? I always do. Does your animal sleep with you? My cat does. Venus obviously sleeps in her terrarium, but she is in my room. Last color you dyed your hair? Red. Will you keep your last name when you get married? Very unlikely. I don't like my last name. What are you looking forward to? Hearing back again from the woman whose wedding I shot literally two years ago. I thought she ghosted me, but she messaged me the other day about seeing the pictures again and going through them to actually buy some. I don't know why the hell it took her two years, but whatever, I guess? I spent two whole hours resizing the files and re-adding the preview watermark (I deleted the OneDrive folder for space forever ago, but I have the files still), so I hate to sound like an ass, but she better buy something. Between sweating my ass off on location when I shot the wedding, editing those 100+ pictures two years ago, and now re-doing the previews, I have invested so much goddamn time into them that yeah, I think I have the right to be pretty damn salty if I don't hear back from her again. If your significant other cut sex out of your relationship for any reason, what would you do? It'd be whatever. I mean sure, that sort of intimacy is a very special part of serious romantic relationships to me, but I can live without it pretty easily. What was the last thing you said out loud? "Thank you for dinner" to my mom. She brought home Hardee's. Who are your godparents? I don't believe I have any. Do you like Gushers? omggggg yes Can you touch​ your nose with your tongue?​​ No. Is there a particular sport you follow on a regular basis? Nope. Are you waiting for something to arrive in the mail? No. Think of the last film you watched. Who was your favourite character? Uhhhh what was it... The Shining, I think? I didn't really develop a favorite. Do you have a friend whose name starts with ‘L’? Describe him/her. Lisa. <3 She's one of my WoW friends. She'll talk your ear off, but I don't really mind. She is SO sweet and caring for other people and loves to cook. She recently had triplets, and seeing as she had a son only months before accidentally getting pregnant with the triplets, she's obviously been MEGA busy so we haven't talked much lately. When you’re being kissed do you like it when they hold your face? Yeah, but not too early on. Doing that has a promise of seriousness and passion in it to me, and it would probably weird me out if that happened too soon. Last thing that made you cry? My health. Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? Nah. I don't think it would look good on me. Do you enjoy being outdoors? If it's cool outside and I have a place to sit when I want to, yeah. Do people tell you that you have an accent? Only sometimes. It's definitely not as bad as your average Southerner, though. Do you enjoy watching fireworks on the 4th of July? Ha, what nice timing. I think they're very pretty, but I believe I went over in a recent survey how I don't encourage their usage in consideration of veterans with PTSD as well as being conscious of animals and the absolute terror it can cause for them. What’re some unspeakable subjects for you? So my sister is a children's social worker, and she shares a LOT of stories with Mom (and me, if I'm present) that I can't listen to. The ones that involve pedophilia and/or rape, especially from the child's very own parent(s), I just cannot listen to. Period. It's so fucking repulsive and just unimaginable to me how even a monster of a human can commit something THAT goddamn vile. What’s your opinion of root beer? I'm not a big fan. I mean I can tolerate drinking some of it, but I don't really *enjoy* it. Have you ever seen The Breakfast Club, and what’s your opinion of it? I have, and I didn't get the appeal at all. Did you have a Furby when you were younger? Oh god, I did. Those things are so creepy. If you had a baby boy, what would you name him? Damien, most likely.

[creampuffqueen]

The Most Magical Place - Chapter Two

a/n: Sorry if this chapter is a bit boring! It’s mostly just the crew getting to Disney. The next chapter they’ll actually go to the parks, promise!

~~~~

“Whose bag is missing? We’re missing a bag!” Thorne called after the kids, trying his best to keep all three in sight. 

Cress was packing the last minute essentials with Cassiopeia in her baby carrier, while Thorne was in charge of getting the rest of the suitcases and children together. The Rampion was parked in the airport parking lot, with everything important stashed away as a precaution.

They were almost done, almost ready to board their plane to Orlando. But of course, with four kids, nothing ever went as planned.

“Are we meeting everyone else in the airport or at Disney?” Carson asked, pulling the straps of his backpack over his shoulders. Each of their kids had a small backpack to use as a carry on bag.

“They’ll all be riding the same plane as us, bud. You can sit with Evret and Holly if you want, I’m sure.” When Cress had booked their plane tickets, she’d made sure to get them all seats nearby so they could all talk.

Though Thorne planned to try and sleep. It was 7 o’clock at night, and their flight was at 8. They wouldn’t arrive in Florida until 11, and by the time they got to their hotel it was sure to be midnight or later. 

However, judging by the insane amount of energy the twins were experiencing, sleep might not be on the agenda. 

“Sage, come get your bag and let’s all get outside!” Thorne called after his youngest son. Sage, who had been blasting ‘Let it go’ from his IPad and dancing on the couch, hopped off to grab the backpack his father offered. 

Thorne opened up the door and hauled out his and Cress’s suitcases onto the hard pavement of the parking lot. Their suitcases were so large and full because they not only contained their clothes and toiletries, but Cassie’s as well. The two cases were loaded full of diapers, wipes, and onesies. 

Carson pulled his own suitcase out the door of the RV, while Astra and Sage required a bit of help to get theirs down. Thorne poked his head back inside, seeing Cress zip up the last carry on bag, one with baby supplies for Cassie. 

Inside his pocket, Thorne’s phone buzzed from the group chat. Cinder and Kai had already gotten through security, since they lived the closest to the airport and arrived first. Now they were in the food court, eating dinner at Taco Bell.

Winter and Jacin texted that they were about to go through security, Winter managing to snap a picture of Luca napping on Jacin’s shoulder. As for Scarlet and Wolf, they were still on the road, and would be at the airport in about 15 minutes.  

“Okay, is everyone ready?” Cress asked, threading her fingers with Thorne’s. “You have all the things you need and we won’t have to pay Disney prices for something like a phone charger?”

Carson patted one of the pockets of his backpack. “I put all the chargers right here.”

“Then let’s go!” Thorne chuckled, squeezing his wife’s hand. In her baby carrier, Cassie was watching them all with her wide blue eyes, a green pacifier in her mouth. 

Cress carried both her and Cassie’s carry on bags, as well as the stroller. It was made for two kids, because they’d gotten it when the twins were born, but there was no way they were going to rent a stroller every day at Disney World. 

The other kids had their backpacks on and rolled their suitcases along the bumpy pavement, talking and giggling with each other. They all reached the bus stop, and thankfully only had to wait a moment for a bus to pull up. 

“Where are you all headed?” The driver asked, kindly taking their luggage and putting it inside the bus. Cress and the kids went to sit while Thorne helped him and answered his question.

“Terminal B, thank you.”

“Mama, I’m hungry.” Astra complained, laying her head in Cress’s lap. Cassie kicked her little feet at her older sister, cooing around the pacifier.

“Hang in there, sweetheart. We’ll get dinner before we get on the plane.” Cress assured her. 

The bus bumped along, and Carson slouched in his seat while playing a game on his phone, plopping his feet in his father’s lap. Sage leaned against his older brother to watch him play. 

When they arrived at their terminal, it was 7:15. If they wanted to eat something before their flight they had to hurry.

Of course things would go wrong.

It took forever for someone to come and check their bags, and it had already taken an extra five minutes because all the machines were taken. When they went through security there were issues regarding whether or not Cassie could be in her carrier or not, and then Carson had forgotten to empty his water bottle in his carry on and had to go through again after getting his whole bag searched. 

But they finally tumbled into the main airport at 7:35. Cassie was starting to fuss, getting hungry again. Astra was on the verge of tears, holding onto Thorne’s hand and complaining of hunger. 

“Hey, Astra, let’s go get some McDonalds, okay?” Thorne asked his daughter. Sage, who was also dragging his feet, perked up at the mention of McDonalds as well.

“You go get the kids fed, I need to find somewhere to nurse Cassie. Pick me up a burger, please?” Thorne nodded, leaving Cress with a quick kiss. 

“Dad we’re gonna be the last ones on the plane.” Carson sighed dramatically. “Everyone else is already there.”

“Scarlet and Wolf aren’t here yet.” Thorne protested, pulling out his phone. He had a bunch of texts from the group again, in which he quickly discovered that somehow Scarlet and Wolf managed to get themselves and five kids through security at the same time as them, without bumping into them. And were now waiting by the gate with the others. 

“Hey, they won’t let us on until 8.” Thorne told his son. “And your siblings are hungry. We all need to eat something, bud, we won’t get there until late.”

Carson sighed again, rolling his eyes, but hefted his backpack and followed them to the McDonalds line.

Fifteen minutes later, laden with fast food and carry on bags, they finally made their way to the gate. Cress was already there, letting Cassie finish up nursing while Scarlet cooed over her. 

“Astra!” Callen yelled, jumping up from his spot by Wolf’s feet to run and crash into Astra with a hug. Astra squealed happily and dragged her friend to the floor, opening up her bag to show off the toy she’d gotten in her Happy Meal. 

“Hello, ladies.” Thorne crooned jokingly, leaning on Cinder’s shoulder.

“Damn, I kinda hoped for a second that Cress had left you here.” Cinder snorted. Peony, who was sitting with Badar in her lap and watching YouTube on her phone, lifted a hand to give him a quick wave. 

Thorne plopped down next to his best friend, grinning. “She couldn’t leave me. My face is too pretty.”

He opened up his own meal, passing Cress’s burger down to her. She sent him a grateful look, eating her food with one hand and trying her hardest to not spill anything on the baby. 

It seemed like hardly any time had passed before their flight was called, and everyone had to gather their things to get into their boarding groups. Badar, who had been about to fall asleep, started crying at the loud noise, and Kai picked up his son, desperately trying to calm him so they could get on the plane. 

“Mommy, BoBo’s so loud!” Luca complained, covering up his ears. Winter pulled the toddler close as they walked to their boarding group, Evret and Veda following. 

Thankfully, Cassie didn’t seem too bothered, and the little girl gurgled and kicked her legs happily as Cress carried her over to the rest of their family. 

“Group B, boarding now.” The robotic voice sounded over the intercom, and the line moved forward. Carson was hanging back slightly, trying to talk with Holly until the last minute. 

They walked down the long tube leading to the plane, Sage and Astra giggling and sprinting up and down while they waited for their parents to get to the plane. When they all reached it, Thorne put his hand on the metal of the plane, feeling the warm hum going through it. Then he stepped inside the plane.

They were really doing this.

Their seats were closer to the back, near the bathrooms, considering they had over a dozen children and at least one of them was going to need the bathroom for their three hour flight. As well, they had gotten seats gathered in a large cluster so they could all talk. 

Thorne got the aisle seat of one row, while Wolf and Scarlet took the middle and window. Their triplets had one full row right in front of them so their parents could keep an eye on them. 

In the row across from them, Kai, Cinder, and Cress sat, with Cress in the aisle seat holding Cassie. Cassiopeia and Badar were still small enough to share a seat with their mothers, and Thorne sat right across the aisle so the baby could be passed to him if his wife needed a break. 

Carson, Holly, and Evret shared a row, as did Shelly, Peony, and Veda. The twins sat behind Thorne with Jacin, while Winter and Luca, who was old enough to have his own seat, sat in a row nearby. 

Across the row, Cress handed Cassie her pacifier, so she had something to suck on while the plane lifted off and hopefully wouldn’t have clogged ears. For all the other kids around her, she passed out some chewing gum. 

Thorne tucked his carry on bag under his seat, Scarlet and Wolf doing the same and making sure the triplets did, as well. Since it was dark outside, the cabin lights were on, but still dim as people got settled before the plane took off. 

“Hello, this is your captain speaking,” A voice sounded over the intercom. “Thank you for choosing this flight this evening to Orlando, Florida, we welcome you aboard.”

Scarlet hushed the triplets in front of them, all of whom were chattering loudly. 

“We will be taking off within the next fifteen minutes, so our flight attendants will now come and brief everyone on the safety protocols, and then we’ll be off! I hope you enjoy this three hour flight to Orlando, Florida.”

“Mommy,” Callen hissed through the seat, turning around to glance at his mother, “We’re on the wrong plane. We’re supposed to be going to Disney World.”

“Disney World is in Orlando, buddy.” Wolf whispered back. “Don’t worry, we’re going to the right place. You three should try and get some sleep. It’s going to be very late when we get there.”

“I’m too excited to sleep!” Baylor protested, having heard them. “And Shelly and Holly aren’t sleeping!”

Sure enough, in their nearby rows, both of the older Kesley girls were not asleep, and from the looks of it, wouldn’t be any time soon. Peony had her laptop out with the distinct look of the beginning of a Star Wars movie, and was plugging in a headphones adapter so all three of them in the row could listen. 

The flight attendants came and began talking, though it went in one ear and out the other for Thorne. He’d been on enough flights to know the safety instructions nearly by heart, and he had the card in the seat in front of him just in case. 

He glanced over at his wife, finding Cress nearly asleep. She had Cassie held close to her chest, the baby snoozing herself while sucking on the pacifier still. 

Thorne couldn’t resist and snapped a quick picture on his phone. At the last second he remembered to turn it on airplane mode, and did so before putting it away at the flight attendant’s instructions. 

And just like that, the plane was moving, coasting along the runway to get to their takeoff spot. The triplets were nearly bouncing with excitement, having never been on a plane before. Across the aisle, Badar was looking out the window from Kai’s lap, absolutely fascinated. 

They coasted along for a few minutes more before the plane finally began to pick up speed. The roaring and rumbling was loud, loud enough that Thorne put in his earbuds in an attempt to drown it out. 

But even blasting music couldn’t drown out the excited gasp of the children in front of him as they lifted off the ground.

“Alix, let me look out the window!” Baylor demanded. Her brother said something back that was lost in the roar of the engine, and soon the two of them were squabbling furiously, Callen joining in a moment later. 

“You three, knock it off.” Scarlet snapped at the triplets. “I want all of you to take out your blankets and go to sleep.”

“But Mommy-” Alix started to complain, but the five-year-old didn’t even need to see his mother’s face to know she was serious. There was rustling as the three of them pulled their blankets from their carry on bags and got settled, and it was hardly ten minutes later that they were silent, 

all three completely passed out. 

Content, the plane flying smoothly as they reached their cruising altitude, Thorne was finally able to drift off to sleep himself.

~~~~

Really, Cress supposed, it was a miracle that Cassie even slept on the plane at all. At about three months old, she didn’t sleep through the night yet, but at least she wasn’t a fussy baby, not like Carson and the twins had been. 

Still, when the infant woke up, crying pitifully and waking everyone up on the plane, Cress couldn’t hold back the sigh that left her mouth.

It was nearly an hour into the flight, and Cassie had eaten about two hours ago. She shouldn’t have needed to be fed again, but she offered nursing anyway.

Cassie just cried louder.

Her pacifier had fallen to the floor somewhere in the commotion, and Cress hated to turn on the overhead lights and wake everyone up. Kai was asleep with his head on Cinder’s shoulder, Badar curled on his lap and clinging to a blanket. 

At least the seatbelt sign was off, and Cress quickly unbuckled and stood up, bouncing the baby in her arms to try and calm her. 

“Cress?” Thorne mumbled across the aisle. “Is that Cassie?”

Even half-asleep, he was already reaching for the baby, ready to take her to let Cress get some more rest. She wondered if it was possible to love him even more. 

“I think her ears must be clogged. I can’t find her pacifier anywhere.”

He pulled out his earbuds and stood up, gently pulling his daughter from her arms. “Hey, little love. What’s got you so upset?”

Taking advantage of having free hands, Cress quickly grabbed her phone to use the flashlight and ducked to the floor, searching for the missing pacifier. 

She found it, rolled beneath Cinder’s foot, a moment later. She quickly wiped it off with a baby wipe (no way she was putting a germy airplane infected pacifier in her infant’s mouth) and gave it back to Thorne.

Instantly, Cassie quieted. The screaming stopped, replaced by a very soft suckling sound as the baby closed her eyes again, content at last.

“I’ll take her for the rest of the flight. Go get some sleep.” Thorne urged her. Cress certainly didn’t need to be told twice. 

All three of them settled down into their respective seats, Cress taking out her neck pillow and blanket to curl up with. With how tired she was, it didn’t take long before she was drifting off to sleep. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are right above the airport in Orlando, Florida, and will begin our descent momentarily. Please make sure your seats are upright and your tray tables closed, and stow away all of your devices and personal items. Thank you for flying with us this lovely evening!”

Cress groaned as the captain’s voice over the intercom dragged her awake. She had half a mind to just go back to sleep, but Cinder was moving next to her, and Badar was fussing loudly in complaint of the noise.

She sluggishly stuffed her blanket and pillow back inside her carry on, while checking the seats in front of her to be sure the kids were doing the same.

A quick glance to her left confirmed that while Thorne was awake, Cassie was not, and still had her pacifier for the descent. As soon as they got to the airport she’d have to feed her and change her diaper. 

“Carson, buddy, are you getting your stuff together?” Cress asked her son, peering around the seat. “We’re about to land.”

Carson gave a noise of complaint but started moving, packing up everything he’d taken out before he fell asleep. Holly, who sat next to him, shook Evret awake, and the trio gathered their things and fixed their seats for the landing. 

Badar was fully awake now, and the toddler clambered over his parents’ laps to Cress, tugging at her jacket. 

“Hey there, sweet boy.” Cress cooed to him. Badar giggled happily before Cinder gently pulled him back to buckle him up with her seatbelt. 

She could feel the plane as it began to drop, slowly easing down towards the earth. Thankfully, Cassie remained asleep in her father’s arms, and Cress carefully got to work at putting the baby carrier back on herself. 

They landed with a small jolt then rolled along the runway to a stop, prompting a few people to start clapping. Badar, in his mother’s lap, giggled and clapped as well, smacking his fumbling baby hands together.

Slowly, after the last announcements were made, people began to unbuckle their seatbelts and stand up to grab their bags from the overhead. Thorne passed Cassie over and Cress put her in the baby carrier so she could grab her carry on bags. 

Being in the back of the plane, they all had to wait a bit longer for more people to get off before they could disembark. 

Luca was passed out on his mother’s shoulder, thumb in his mouth. The triplets were still awake, but all three were yawning widely as they squirmed out of their seats. The only ones who were really awake were Peony and Shelly, being the two oldest kids. But even they were lagging, rubbing at their eyes.

Slowly, their large group made their way off the plane. Both Thorne and Kai gathered their strollers right outside the plane, and they loaded them with carry on bags, as both Cassie and Badar were being held by their mothers. 

Despite the fact it was 11 o’clock at night, the Orlando airport was bustling, and the baggage claim was crowded. Astra leaned against Cress, nearly asleep on her feet while her father and brothers grabbed their suitcases. 

“How long until we get to our hotel?” Sage mumbled tiredly, resting his head on top of his suitcase. 

“The bus ride is about 45 minutes.” Thorne replied. “So you all can sleep for a bit.”

When everyone had at last gathered their bags, they all made their way to the buses outside. They were held up for a few minutes, since they all needed to scan their magic bands to get on the bus for the Disney hotel they were staying at, and Shelly had managed to misplace hers. Thankfully, Wolf was able to locate it, and they all loaded their bags and made their way inside the giant bus.

They sat in a fairly similar configuration to what they’d done on the plane. This time, however, Thorne sat with Cress, and Cinder and Kai sat across from them with Badar.

Cress was amazed that Cassie hadn’t had a meltdown yet; it was far past the time she should have been fed. But the baby, while a bit fussy, wasn’t full on screaming yet, which Cress was grateful for. The long bus ride would give her the perfect opportunity to feed her. 

All around her, the littles, and even the older kids, were falling asleep rapidly. They hadn’t even left the airport yet, but the twins were both fast asleep, leaning on each other, as were the triplets. Holly was resting her head on Carson’s shoulder, while Carson leaned against the window and Evret leaned against Holly. Luca was passed out on his father’s lap, and even Winter was blinking sleepily. 

Eventually, the bus rumbled to life and rolled towards the road. It took everything Cress had to not fall asleep, and instead she subjected herself to watching the repeating video on the screens talking all about Disney Resorts. 

Cassie finished eating, and Cress gave her back the pacifier. The bus was the kind with a bathroom in the back, and she carefully made her way over to change the baby’s diaper. 

By the time she was finished and back in her seat, the bus was pulling into the first stop, which just happened to be the resort they were all staying at. 

Cress nudged her husband awake, and slowly they managed to get all their kids up and moving off the bus. Thorne was carrying Astra, despite the fact that she was six years old and perfectly capable of walking by herself. 

After their entire group was off the bus and standing in the lobby of the resort, Cress took a quick head count, just to be safe.

Four Thorne children, accounted for. The Kesley triplets, Peony and Shelly standing together, Holly and Evret right next to Winter and Jacin, who had Luca. Veda was by Cinder, who had Badar, and Kai was with Wolf and Scarlet. Fourteen kids and eight adults, all accounted for. 

Despite having fourteen children, the walk inside was nearly silent, save for the quiet chattering of the two eldest girls. Cress, having gotten barely any sleep on the plane and no sleep on the bus, was practically dead on her feet. 

“Hello!” The employee chirped brightly, despite it being nearly midnight. “Are you all looking for your rooms?”

After a bit of shuffling and sorting of children and luggage, everyone got their room numbers and were led out of the lobby and towards the actual hotel part of the resort.

The walk wasn’t too long, but in the darkness of the night it felt like ages. Cassie began to fuss, and by the time they located their room the baby was screaming loudly. 

“Mommy, make her stop.” Sage whined, covering his ears while Thorne unlocked the door. 

“I’m sorry, buddy. Let’s get inside and get settled so we can see what’s making her cry.” Cress pulled her suitcase in through the door and flipped on the light switch. 

The room was fairly small, with only two beds. There was a small couch against one wall, and it was supposed to fold out into a bed. After a bit more examination, they discovered that the bathroom was tiny as well, with just a toilet and a shower, and the sinks being on one end of the room. 

The kids all shoved their suitcases and bags against the walls, save for Astra, who was either fast asleep or very good at faking it. Thorne gently laid her down on one of the beds, and her twin flopped down next to her.

Carson took a minute to find some pajamas and his toothbrush, and got himself ready for bed while Thorne set up Cassie’s pack-n-play. Cress took the baby out of her carrier and checked her diaper, (clean, thankfully) then settled for just bouncing her until she quieted. 

“Sage, Astra. I need you two to get on some pajamas.” Cress prompted the twins. Astra gave a loud groan of protest in response.

“Listen to your mother.” Thorne told them. Sage mumbled something under his breath and slid off the bed, trudging towards his suitcase. 

About twenty minutes later, the three older kids were in pajamas with their teeth brushed, and getting tucked into bed. It had taken a few minutes to find the sheets for the pull out bed that Carson was sleeping on, but they’d eventually found them tucked away on a shelf. Cassie was already fast asleep, absolutely worn out from the day’s travels. 

“Sleep well.” Cress smiled, giving the twins each a small kiss on their head. Thorne did so as well, making sure the kids were tucked up and cozy in their hotel-style bed. 

“What time do we have to be up tomorrow?” Carson asked sleepily. The twelve-year-old boy was laying on his bed, wrapped up in the galaxy-patterned blanket he’d brought with him.

“Our first FastPass is at 9:30 for Spaceship Earth, and the park opens at 9:00.” Thorne told him. “So I think we’ll be up around 8:00 and we’ll be good.”

Carson nodded and rolled over with a yawn. “Okay. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, buddy.” Thorne said with a smile. 

With the kids all asleep, Cress and Thorne got themselves ready for bed as well. As they settled into their bed, Cress couldn’t resist and took one last look at her phone before Thorne turned the lights off.

In their group text, the other couples had sent photos of the kids they’d taken throughout the day. 

Peony sharing her chips with Badar. The triplets watching a movie together while waiting for the plane. Luca asleep in Jacin’s arms on the bus. Shelly and Holly wearing Disney themed pajamas, curled on their bed together. Peony cuddling with her baby brother in her sleep. 

Cress snapped a quick picture of all the kids fast asleep in their room and sent it to the group, then finally turned off her phone and plugged it in. 

Thorne wrapped his arms around her, and Cress relaxed into his embrace, ready to finally sleep after a long day, and even more ready to wake up in the morning to their first day at Disney World.

[princesssarisa]

22 questions

Thanks, @cinefantastiquemitho!

01. The book that transformed your life. Freak the Mighty. It traumatized me so much in middle school, I think it singlehandedly changed me from a mostly happy (if quiet and overemotional) child into a moody, anxious teenager. The same goes for it’s ‘90s movie adaptation, The Mighty, starring a young Elden Henson and Kieran Culkin. It’s about the unlikely friendship between two misfit middle school boys: Max, the big, hulking, “stupid,” somewhat mentally disabled protagonist with a traumatic past, and “Freak,” an intelligent yet small, severely crippled, and (spoiler alert) terminally ill boy who rides on Max’s shoulders and serves as his “brain,” leading him in modeling their lives after the knights in the Arthurian legends he reads. Basically, it’s like Bridge to Terabithia meets a PG-rated Midnight Cowboy with Arthurian themes. I was forced to read it and watch the movie in school and it shook me to the core because I identified too much with Max. Not that I ever thought I was stupid, but since I was also a physically heavy, intellectually disabled, socially awkward, often teased, withdrawn misfit, I saw myself in him, very, very much. So to watch his struggles, and then in the end to see him devastated by his only friend’s death, hit hard. If that spirit medium I recently talked to was telling the truth about my past life as Emily Brontë’s best and possibly only friend, then maybe subconsciously I saw her in Freak (since she was also a “freakish” misfit who nonetheless was highly intelligent, witty and imaginative) and relived her illness and death in his. At any rate, it plunged me into a long depression that must have seemed inexplicable to the adults around me.

02. The movie that changed your way of seeing the world. The 1983 telecast of Madama Butterfly from the Arena di Verona, starring Raina Kabaivanska as Cio-Cio-San. In hindsight, it was a flawed production. Kabaivanska was a 49-year-old Bulgarian grand dame, not the least bit convincing as a 15-year-old Japanese girl. The tenor, who was supposed to be her worldly seducer, was young enough to be her son. There wasn’t a single Japanese person in either the cast or the creative team – it was all a European fantasy of Japan. For that matter, Madama Butterfly is inherently problematic with its racial and gender issues (in other news, water is wet). But watching this old telecast on VHS, out of curiosity about Miss Saigon’s source material, was the real beginning of my passion for opera. I was already familiar with The Magic Flute, but this was the start of my love for opera beyond that one. The tragic romance of the story, the visual beauty of the sets and costumes, and Puccini’s sumptuous musical score captivated my fourteen-year-old self. It led me to VHSs of La Traviata, Carmen, La Bohéme, Tosca, Rigoletto, Les Contes d’Hoffmann, L’Orfeo and Turandot, as well as other videos of Butterfly, and then to opera performances onstage. It gave me a new passion and gave me something beautiful to share with other people through “Opera Quest,” the program I’ve created to introduce opera to elementary school students. I’m so, so grateful to it!

03. The music that makes part of the soundtrack of your life. Opera, Broadway/West End show tunes, and Disney songs.

04. Define longing. It’s wanting, but deeper and stronger. It’s constant wanting, painful wanting, wanting that almost becomes obsession.

05. If you got back in time, which scene would you visit of your life? Any of my Thanksgiving visits to my grandma in Mesa, Arizona. Of course I’d love to see her again – she died 12 years ago – but I also loved wandering around the pretty retirement community where she lived, listening to Les Misérables or to Andrew Lloyd Webber on my headphones, and then sometimes swimming in the outdoor pool. I also loved the restaurant we always went to for Thanksgiving dinner, and if possible, going to see the lavish Christmas lights at the Mormon Temple a day or two later.

06. The place where your heart is. Los Angeles. Even though I wasn’t born there, it’s the earliest place I remember. I grew up there and it’s only been four years since I moved away. Every time I’ve gone back to visit since, I I’ve had the overwhelming feeling of “I’m home!” Even though I’m glad not to be living in a big city right now, I wish I lived closer and could visit more often.

07. The travel of your life. I haven’t travelled very much outside the US, though I have been to Canada, London and Ireland. Within the US, I was born in Connecticut, I’ve lived most of my life in California, and I’ve spent a lot of time in New York (relatives live there), Washington State (more relatives live there), Arizona (my grandma lived there), Florida (other grandparents, plus Walt Disney World), Montana (still more relatives), North Carolina (still more), and Minnesota (family friends). Once each I’ve been to Chicago, Boston, Cape Cod, and small towns in Vermont and New Hampshire, and I’d love to go back to each of them one day. I’ve also been to North Dakota, but don’t remember it very well, and I’ve spent at least a few hours each in Las Vegas and Salt Lake City, but not long enough to do much of anything.

08. An author that you have met recently, and whose works you want to continue to read. Not too long ago I took a writing class taught by April Halprin Wayland, who wrote the beautiful Jewish children’s book New Year at the Pier about the tradition of Tashlich on Rosh Hashanah. I’d definitely like to read more of her books, especially her Passover children’s book, More Than Enough. I’d love buy them for my little cousins on the Jewish side of my family.

09. Coffee or tea? Herbal tea. Rooibos chai is my favorite.

10. Who's your Doctor (if you don't watch Doctor Who, who's your favorite character from a TV series)? I couldn’t say. I don’t watch Doctor Who or much TV at all anymore. Let’s just say I love the main characters from all the TV shows I watched when I was little.

11. If you could just throw everything away and live your dream, what would you do? I’d buy a safe and luxurious self-driving RV (this is a fantasy, after all) and travel all over the US, living in a different place for a week, two weeks, or a month at a time. In this fantasy, there’s no pandemic going on, so I have the freedom to go anywhere. I’d visit every big city, every cozy small town, and every notable place of natural beauty, I’d go to the opera and see local productions of Les Misérables wherever I could. I’d visit my relatives whenever I liked. I’d present “Opera Quest” at a local school in each place I visited. But I’d also spend plenty of alone time in my RV, or in whatever hotel or inn I chose to stay in for a little while, and work on the books I’m writing, listen to music and meditate. There would be no pressure on me from anyone to do anything. That would be amazing.

12. If you could choose to be a character from a book, TV series or movie, who you would be? None. Some of them have nice lives, but they all have their problems too, and I’d rather keep my own problems than take on theirs.

13. What makes you not like a story? Characters we’re supposed to like being cruel and spiteful to each other and neither regretting it nor being properly called out for it. If their behavior is clearly supposed to be bad and treated as such within the story, it’s one thing. Even if they never regret their own behavior, that’s fine as long as the other characters call it out as bad. But when they don’t, I feel like the author is saying that anyone would be just as cruel and spiteful in that situation. That it’s no big deal, it’s just human nature and anything better would be unrealistic. I hate that.

14. Do you like romance in stories? Why? Yes, I do like it. Not if it’s badly written, but when it’s well written, I love it. I love watching two characters come to care so deeply for each other, fill each other’s deepest needs and bring each other happiness. Of course that happens with platonic love too, but romance is the way it most often happens in stories.

15. Which book did you hate having read? Well, I didn’t like having to read Candide as a college freshman, because despite all its humor, it’s cynicism depressed me. I was going through a stage where I was feeling overwhelmed by the world’s problems and had turned to idealistic spiritual beliefs to comfort myself, so I hated having to read a book that essentially said “Optimism is stupid, the world is a terrible place, there is no God and no good reason for anything, and all we can do is try to make the best of our individual lives.” (Yes, I know that’s a vast oversimplification of Voltaire’s philosophy – it just came across that way to me at the time.)

16. Which movie did you hate having watched? I’ve already mentioned The Mighty, above, so... another one... When I was seven or eight, I saw Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory for the first time, and I was very disturbed at the end by Wonka’s angry outburst about Charlie and Grandpa Joe stealing the Fizzy Lifting Drinks. Of course everyone can agree about how scary and mean Gene Wilder acts in that scene. But imagine how much worse it would be to an ultra-sensitive little kid on the autism spectrum, especially since I wasn’t expecting it. I had read the original book already, so the fates of the four bratty kids and the infamous boat scene didn’t phase me because I knew to expect them. But movie-Wonka’s final test is a movie-only addition, so I had no idea he was going to start screaming at poor Charlie, and to me at that age, an adult suddenly screaming in rage at a child was scarier than a child turning into a blueberry any day. Yes, it’s only a test, Charlie passes it and all ends happily, but it still upset me.

17. Do you like anime/manga? Any favorite? It all looks very nice, but apart from seeing Kiki’s Delivery Service and a few episodes of Pokemon as a kid, I haven’t experienced much of it. Maybe I should explore it more.

18. Who is the best villain you saw in a story? I don’t think I can choose just one from all the stories I know. For the best villain from Shakespeare and opera, I’d probably have to say Iago, because of how thoroughly effective his scheming and manipulation are. For the best Disney villain, I’d have to say Frollo, because of how horribly realistic he is: as an abuser of power, a racist, a religious bigot, a sexual predator, a psychologically abusive foster parent, and in the way he believes everything he does is holy and right. But there are so many good villains in all genres of fiction, choosing just one favorite is impossible.

19. If you could do an interview with any person, alive or dead, from our world, who would you choose and why? William Shakespeare. I have so many questions about his plays. They’ve all been interpreted in hundreds of different ways and I’d like to hear what his real intentions were when he wrote them. And for that matter, if he really did write all of them or if there’s any truth in the anti-Stratfordian theories.

20. If you could meet and and befriend a writer, who would it be? I just said Shakespeare, but I don’t want to repeat the same answer twice... Well, if that spirit medium was right, then I’ve already met and befriended three famous writers in a past life: Charlotte, Emily and Anne Brontë. Supposedly I spent “many hours” with all three of them, but was especially close to Emily. If that’s true, then I’d love to meet them again, do some catching up, and talk with them about the modern controversies surrounding their books... especially Wuthering Heights, which seems to defy easy interpretations of its characters and themes.

21. Cats or dogs? Dogs. I just adore them!

22. If you could choose any time period or society to live, which it would be? A year ago, I would have said “right here, right now.” But with this global pandemic taking place and the future of the world and of America in particular feeling so uncertain, I’ve changed my mind. I’d rather live in one of the fantasy worlds I’ve created: either the Sisterhood of Nira’s valley (the setting of my completed but unpublished novel An Eternal Crown) or Zalina Island (the setting of the Beauty and the Beast and Little Mermaid retellings I’m working on). Those places might have flaws of their own, but at least they’ve made social progress that this country hasn’t made, and they have magic too. If I could I’d move to one of them, at least until the pandemic is over and we have a new president.

I tag @simone-boccanegra, @astrangechoiceoffavourites, @nitrateglow, @thatvermilionflycatcher, @sunlit-music, @theheightsthatwuthered, @fairychamber, @wuthering-valleys

[pocketseizure]

Disneybound

Case #0180602. Statement of Ted Nakamura, regarding a strange experience at the Haunted Mansion attraction in Disneyland, California. Statement recorded directly from subject on June 2, 2018.

Jonathan takes the statement of someone whose memories may not accurately reflect the events of his childhood. He then has a short conversation with Martin and learns something (perhaps not so) surprising about Elias.

The events of this story take place after Episode 103, "Cruelty Free" (the one in which Jon reads the statement of a farmer in New Zealand with a monster pig).

( This story is also on AO3. )

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Jon cast a level gaze at the American sitting on the other side of the table. He was fit and clean-shaven, and he appeared to be in his early thirties. He wore a wide grin and a bright red shirt depicting Minnie Mouse posing in front of the Eiffel Tower.

Jon sighed and pressed the record button of his tape recorder.

“Statement of Theodore Nakamura – ”

“Call me Ted, please. Or Teddy, if you like. All my friends do.”

“Ted Nakamura, regarding a strange phenomenon he experienced at the Haunted Mansion attraction in Disney World – ”

“Sorry, but it’s ‘Disneyland.’ Disney World is the one in Florida.”

“In Disneyland, California. Statement recorded directly from subject on May 25, 2018.”

“This is exciting! I love the detail you’ve devoted to authenticity. The tape recorder is a nice touch.”

Jon grimaced. “Statement begins.”

A hint of uncertainty crept into Ted’s smile. “I’ve never done this before. Is there a protocol? Maybe some sort of standard introduction I should start with?”

“Just tell me about the incident you came to report. You can start whenever you’re ready.”

“All right, I’ll start at the beginning.”

Ted clapped his hands on his knees and took a deep breath. Jon watched as his eyes made a brief circuit around the densely packed shelves arranged in disorderly rows at the rear of the room before finally coming to rest on one of the objects jammed between the accordion folders and cardboard boxes. He’d witnessed this process often enough that he could pinpoint the object of the man’s attention – a cloudy snow globe with a tarnished metal base. It wasn’t connected to any of the cases on file in the archives, merely something Gertrude had brought back from one of her travels on a whim.

“I guess you could say that I’m not the sort of person who would be the star of a Disney movie,” Ted began. “I’m not an orphan, and I had a happy childhood. My mother was an architect who moved from San Francisco to Los Angeles during the construction boom of the 1980s, and my father went to business school at UCLA and never left. His family is from Seattle, and they made some money in real estate in the 1990s. We’re comfortably middle class, but I went to one of the big public schools in Orange County.”

He paused, seeming to expect some sort of reaction. When it became clear that no such reaction was forthcoming, he continued.

“Even in LA, where everyone tries to stand out, high school was all about belonging to a group. I didn’t have any interest in the grandstanding of my school’s Gay-Straight Alliance, and I didn’t have the looks or the talent for the student theater club, which is where a lot of kids like me spent a year or two on their way out of the closet. Mostly I kept my grades up and my head down as my circle of friends from middle school gradually went their separate ways.

“My mom worked from home, and she made sure our house had the first high-speed internet connection in my neighborhood. I don’t mind admitting that I spent a lot of time online. I posted an embarrassing number of bad stories about cartoon characters on LiveJournal, and I eventually ended up being invited to join a popular Disney fan community moderated by a friend of a friend. All the people I spoke with on the comm were strangers, at least at first, but we gradually got to know one another as we responded to each other’s posts and comments.

“Between one thing and another, we somehow managed to figure out that most of us were the same age. Oddly enough, a lot of us lived in SoCal, so we decided to meet up over the summer at Disneyland. Everyone showed up, and we had a great time. We met again the next summer, and then again after my senior year.

“Nothing bad happened, but I stopped updating my LiveJournal after that. I went to college in New York, got a job in the city, and fell out of touch with most of my online friends.

“I moved back to LA four years ago, not that I do anything glamorous. I manage the back end of a tech company’s website and intranet, mostly database stuff, but I still have an IG account. I started it just for fun, but I joined early and picked up more than a thousand followers in less than a year. Someone suggested that it would be cool for me to visit to Disneyland and post photos, so I thought, why not? Like, I love Disneyland!”

Jon cleared his throat. “And what is this ‘strange incident’ you came to report?”

“Hold your horses, I’m getting to it. It’s important that you know my background, right? What I’m trying to say is that I’d only been to Disneyland three times before. It wasn’t a major part of my life. But it was a good part of my life – that’s important.”

Jon nodded in acknowledgment. “Very well, then. Duly noted.”

“Disneyland was considered to be a little seedy when I was in high school, but it’s gotten fancy in the past ten years or so. It used to be that you could just walk in, but these days you practically have to make an itinerary. So I did some research, got a group of people together, and we went and saw the sights. Everyone wore an outfit to match the style of a character, and we took a lot of pictures. The photos were so popular that I hit 5k followers in less than 24 hours, can you believe it? Everyone and their sister is into DisneyBounding these days, but picking up that sort of following from on-location fashion photos was still a thing you could do in 2015.

“Like I said, I had a happy childhood, but no one ever paid me that sort of attention. It was such a dopamine hit, you have no idea. Or maybe you do?”

Jon grit his teeth. “Please continue with the statement.”

Ted laughed. “Pushy, aren’t you? But that’s all right. It’s weird, but I feel like I can tell you anything. Has anyone ever said that to you before?”

“You’re not the first.”

“Maybe it’s the librarian thing you’ve got going on – or archivist thing, sorry. Puts me right at ease. And I appreciate that. If there’s an adult who willingly goes to Disneyland for fun, especially someone like me, people tend to think that’s creepy. The therapist I was seeing at the time called it ‘Peter Pan Syndrome,’ of all things. I never went to another appointment with her again, but that’s beside the point. What I’m trying to say is that I kept going back to Disneyland, usually with friends but sometimes with my boyfriend, who I met on Insta. We bonded while sharing theories about the Haunted Mansion, which is… Well, it used to be my favorite ride in the park. It still is, I guess, but I can’t go on it anymore.

“It took me long enough to get here, but this is the part of my story that should interest you. The reason I like the Haunted Mansion is because it reminds me of my mother, who passed away from a heart attack while I was living in New York. It was very sudden, completely out of the blue, and I never got to say good-bye. I never cared about the Haunted Mansion when I was in high school – we all thought it was cringe for some silly teenage reason that probably involved how awkward it would be if we were in the dark with each other. It wasn’t until I visited the park again as an adult that I finally went on the ride. When I did, I had this sudden flashback to a childhood memory.

“I must have gone to Disneyland with my parents when I was young, because standing in the dark and listening to the music made me recall being on the ride with my mother. This was during the lead-up, before you get in the Doom Buggies and begin the ride proper. I remember being absolutely terrified by what I thought was an endless maze. I felt like that line, after it entered the building, lasted forever. Kids can be like that sometimes, but my memory of this is crystal clear – the corridor genuinely didn’t end. I felt like there were people all around us, there had to be, but somehow it was just me and my mother, alone in the darkness.

“And then I remember that this terrible thing appeared out of nowhere. I’m not sure how to describe it. It definitely wasn’t a person in a costume, but it was too realistic to be the projection of a cartoon, and it was talking to us in voice that sounded like laughter and crying at the same time. Like it was hurt, but it found its pain amusing. Meanwhile, the walls kept stretching, and as they got taller I started to see awful things in the gaps between the ceiling and the floor.

“My mother held my hand the whole time. She kept whispering to me: ‘It’s going to be okay. You are brave, and you are strong. Nothing in here can hurt you.’ Just that, over and over, until the ride was over.

“When we finally got out, I ran straight to my dad, who knelt down on the pavement on the other side of the gate and hugged me. He and my mother both patted my back as I cried. I was so relieved to be outside again that my tears wouldn’t stop.

“My dad seemed confused by how afraid I was. This didn’t occur to me until I started thinking about it much later, but isn’t it strange that he didn’t understand why a young child would be frightened by a scary ride?

“I moved back to LA almost immediately after my mom’s funeral, but Dad became a little distant with me. We were both grieving, and it must have seemed callous to him that I was posting shots of myself at Disneyland on social media right after Mom died. Really I just needed a break from the move, from my job, from mourning, from everything – and I guess a part of me felt like my mother would never die as long as I kept returning to that memory of her holding my hand in the Haunted Mansion.

“My dad eventually moved on and married a younger woman. She would probably be my evil stepmother if my life were a Disney movie, but she’s actually a princess, and I adore her. I spend more time with her than I do with my dad these days, but I’m trying to do better. I thought I could reconnect with him if I took him along with me on a visit to the park, but he turned down my invitation. He told me he enjoyed my photos, but that he had never been to Disneyland and had no interest in going. Too many screaming children, he said.

“That was a surprise to me, so I told him about my memory of the Haunted Mansion. While I was talking, his face went completely pale. I don’t mean that as a figure of speech – it was like all the blood had been drained from his skin.

“He insisted that he had never been to Disneyland with me and my mother, but then he told me something strange. When I was about five years old, we went to visit his family in Seattle. My grandfather had just taken on management of a property in Capitol Hill, one of the old Gothic Revival mansions that used to be common there before the neighborhood gentrified. It was an old house, almost as old as the city itself, but my grandfather was having trouble finding potential buyers. The property had been designed by the student of a famous British architect by the name of Robert Smirke, and he wanted my mother to come take a look. Do a walkthrough, point out any potential areas of interest and value, that sort of thing.

“According to my father, my mother had a bad experience in that house. She refused to talk about it with him or anyone else, and she never went back to Seattle. She took me along with her on her tour of the property, and I was apparently just as upset as she was when we came out, even though my dad says we spent less than ten minutes inside. If I thought this place was the Haunted Mansion, and if the ride at Disneyland evoked such a strong memory, it makes me wonder – what did we see in that house?

“I checked with my grandfather, and he said the property never did find a buyer. The only person who seemed seriously interested was a British woman by the name of Gertrude Robinson. Shortly after she made inquiries, the place burned down. Imagine my surprise when I ran a search and learned that this Gertrude Robinson was employed by an institute dedicated to paranormal research.

“So,” Ted concluded, meeting Jon’s eyes, “I gave you my statement. I hope it will be useful to you. I was wondering what you could tell me in return.”

“Not much, I’m afraid. As you can see, we’re still in the process of organizing our records. We’ll investigate to the best of our abilities and contact you if we learn anything.”

“I would love that, thank you. Well, you have my information so…”

“We’ll be in touch. I believe I see my assistant Melanie hovering around. She used to have a large following on social media herself. I’m sure she’d be happy to show you outside.”

“So you’re from LA,” Jon heard Melanie say as she held the door open. Ted directed his dazzling smile at her, which she returned before allowing the door to slam shut behind them.

“Statement ends,” Jon muttered as listened to their conversation growing fainter. He ended the recording and leaned back in his chair.

“Any thoughts you’d like to share, Martin?”

“Oh, I, um,” Martin stammered. “I didn’t want to interrupt the, you know. The statement.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he emerged from between the shelves.

“It’s fine, Martin. It was a relief. To know that you were listening.”

“I’m sorry, I… What? It was?”

“I’ve never been good with people like that.”

“People like… Wait, excuse me?”

“People who are so…” Jon made a vague gesture to illustrate his point. “Sunny. Bright. Content. When someone comes here to make a statement, they’re usually upset.”

“Ah, right. I can see what you mean. But he looks like he just got back from a trip to the happiest place on earth.”

“The happiest place on earth?”

“You know, Disneyland Paris.”

“Disneyland Paris? They finished construction?”

“A few decades ago, actually.”

Jon sympathized with Ted Nakamura’s father. Between the crowds and the relentless sunshine, he couldn’t imagine a more ghastly location, and by this point he considered himself something of an expert on cursed geography.

“I don’t suppose we’ll have to go there ourselves to investigate,” he said, making an attempt to smile. He failed. His muscles were still tense from the process of taking a statement, and his face felt frozen.

“Really? You… want to go to Disneyland Paris? I suppose I could come too, I mean, if it’s not…”

Jon was alarmed by how red Martin’s face was becoming. Did Martin want to go to a theme park? Jon didn’t know much about Disneyland – or Paris, for that matter – but his childhood had been unusual, to say the least. He’d never asked, but Martin’s family couldn’t have been much if he had nowhere to sleep but down here in the archives. Perhaps he could use a vacation. Perhaps they both could.

Jon turned to face his assistant. “Martin, I…”

“Did someone say Disneyland Paris?”

Jon frowned. “Does this conversation interest you, Elias?”

“I heard you were planning a trip. You really must go sometime. It’s fantastic, quite the experience. I went myself, back in 1996.”

Elias made a quick series of taps on the screen of his phone before holding it out in front of him. Jon and Martin leaned forward to get a better look.

In the photo, Elias was posing next to someone wearing a Mickey Mouse costume. He wore an aloha shirt over denim shorts, and he was grinning from ear to ear. The camera had caught him in the act of pulling a tall man with a square jaw and a severe expression into the frame. The image quality was poor, but the man seemed far too pale for the summer sunshine.

Jon’s frown deepened. “And that is…?”

“Oh, this is Peter. You’ll meet him soon enough, I’m sure.”

“Do you, um. Do you go to Disneyland often, then?” Martin asked.

“Just the once. Peter lost a bet, you see.”

“Right.” Jon couldn’t put his finger on it, but he had a bad feeling about this.

“I wouldn’t mind going back. We could all go together, make an office party of it. It would be fun. You do know what fun is, don’t you, Archivist?”

Martin’s eyes darted between Elias and Jon. “I don’t think it’s safe to…”

“Come now,” Elias interrupted. “Would you have any reason not to?”

“China.”

“Excuse me?”

“China. I need to follow up on a statement, something Gertrude was looking into before she traveled to New Zealand.”

“Excellent. I’m glad that’s settled. I’ll leave you to your preparations, then.”

“Damn it.” Jon clenched his fists on the table as Elias left. A trap had been set, and he’d walked right into it.

“Don’t feel bad,” Martin said, oddly perceptive. After everything they’d been through, Jon was coming to appreciate that about him. “At least we know that Elias is still human. He likes Disneyland, after all.”

Jon wasn’t convinced that a fondness for theme parks qualified someone as being ‘human,’ but what would he know? He had to admit that Elias was right about one thing – it would do him good to get out of the archives.

“Are you really going to China, then?”

“I suppose I am.” Jon removed his glasses and rubbed his forehead.

“I’ve always wanted to go someplace like that, somewhere far away,” Martin said, his eyes darting to the tape recorder on the table. “I’d like to hear about it. If you don’t… If you don’t mind, of course. Maybe I could, I mean, we could go out for a coffee together. After you get back.”

“All right,” Jon replied, replacing his glasses. That would be rather nice, actually. “After I get back.”