#floating their little gay hearts out

[corniart]

How many times do y’all think they have had the “you don’t actually have to say up”/ “but it’s fun” convo? I think a lot. Bc they’re losers. I love them🥺 happy wip wthursday to all the gays🫶

[aphrosheir]

☆-《 The Stakes 》-☆

[A/N: Workload has been a bitch and a half to get through, and I can't focus on writing my WIP abt Lilia, so here's a little drabble to feed the gays. I saw these (1, 2, 3) clips of Patti in her younger days, and it just did ✨️something✨️ to me. I hope ya'll enjoy it! I'll probably make a part 2 sometime soon.

UPDATE: PART 2 HERE!!!

]

Warning/s: Slight NSFW (?)

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

"Lilia, darling." (Y/N) softly called out to her beloved. "Come to bed, would you?"

"I shall soon, amore. As soon as I finish my bath."

(Y/N), an immortal vampire, wasn't really that patient. After all, she'd been alive for a century before she'd meet Lilia. She blew a raspberry, a habit she'd picked up the more she frequented local pubs.

"Really, you seem to forget yourself, (Y/N). You are a countess, not a commoner."

"And I also should've been wedded to a count, yet here I am passing the nights in the quarters of a princess at her request. Tell me, darling, who is forgetting themselves, hm?"

(Y/N) could hear Lilia's eye roll, even from a room away. "Help me wash my hair, then. So you wouldn't bore yourself out of your mind, amore."

Tighterning her robe, (Y/N) quickly padded her way over to the grand bathroom attached to Lilia's quarter. Peeking inside, she saw the girl, her damp hair hanging off the tub as she relaxed, the suds barely shielding (Y/N)'s desires.

"Took you long enough to ask, darling."

She sat on the chair beside the tub, usually occupied by the royal's lady-in-waiting, but Lilia had already sent them off for the night in hopes to have more time with (Y/N) to herself.

A melody floated through the air as (Y/N) began scrubbing through Lilia's scalp, courtesy of the young princess herself.

(Y/N)'s heart swelled as she was rinsing the bubbles off of her beloved's auburn locks. She couldn't help but stare; and if the suds were thinning out, that was no one's concern but theirs.

Lilia's eyes fluttered open, meeting (Y/N)'s gaze. Her neck hung over the edge of the golden bathtub, careful not to wet (Y/N)'s lap.

Her long, slender fingers took (Y/N)'s young face -- despite being older than her for at least a hundred years, (Y/N)'s face remained its youth. She caressed the bloodless cheeks of her beloved, slowly bringing her lips to meet (Y/N) in a quiet, yet passionate kiss.

"The ball is in a month." Lilia whispered against her lips. "I do not wish to attend, amore. There'll be the roaming eyes of men and the chattering mouth of the maidens."

"Amore, we must. After that, we shall have the winter amongst ourselves, kindling fires by the library."

"Yes, but--" Lilia whined as (Y/N) stood up to get her robe.

"I want you."

(Y/N) softened at the suddeness of Lilia's words. "You already have me, darling."

"I want you. I want to be yours. I want to go to the ball with you. I do not want to pretend to be interested in whatever pompous suitor my father will find me. I just want you. I want to tell the whole world that I am yours, and you are mine."

By this time, Lilia had stood up, sopping wet from the bath, inching forward to the countess.

It wasn't the first time that (Y/N) had seen Lilia unclothed. But this time, (Y/N)'s mouth went dry, the need for blood clawing at her throat.

Still the ever wary countess, (Y/N) only raised an eyebrow at the display of her beloved. "Darling, you shan't forget yourself. You are -- after all -- a princess and not a commoner."

Young and brash, while Lilia was the epitome of grace, her emotions were still raw; impulses flowing through her veins.

"(Y/N)..." Her voice turned into a whisper. "I saw."

"Saw what, my love?" (Y/N) answered, wrapping the robe and her arms around Lilia's frail form. She placed a gentle kiss at the young girl's temple.

But only a whimper escaped Lilia's lips.

"There was a commotion," Lilia gripped (Y/N)'s arm, drawing it even tighter around her frame. She sobbed, pain emnant in her voice. "You... Amore, you were struck. I dreamt of it last night, and I do not wish for it to happen."

After her coven had disappeared, Lilia had tried to push away her powers. But there was something about (Y/N), something that caused sleepless nights for the princess. She saw glimpses of her future to come. She searched for her countess amongst the flashes of memories of tomorrow, yet her beloved's face never quite appeared. It wracked Lilia to her core, the thought of her beloved leaving her early.

"Shh... Do not fret, my love. I promise to stay close to you tomorrow. Would that be alright?"

Lilia ran her hand up and down (Y/N)'s arm, lip between her teeth, and lashes dampened with her tears. There was a pause before she nodded, not wanting to get into trouble with her father.

"Dont leave me, my love." Lilia whispered, whirring around to face the woman. She cupped her cheeks, searching for the sincerity in her eyes.

(Y/N) then brought up her own hand over Lilia's, nodding and kissing the hand in hers. "I promise, amore."

[ladykailitha]

The Au Pair Boy Part 2

We interrupt your regularly schedule "Of Butterflies and Backstrokes" for another chapter of the nanny AU. I just need to cut down on the amount of backlog I have on this story and bolster OB&B while I work on the Halloween-esque metal band sequel "Around the World".

I am living for the responses to this fic. It makes my heart so happy!

In this we have a correct Robin, well... a mostly correct Robin and they all get to know each other a bit over dinner.

Part 1

~

Steve walked into his apartment feeling like he was walking on air. He never thought he would get his dream job, in his dream house, with his dream guy, who was gay. Like what did he do to warrant such a windfall?

The first thing he did was call Robin.

“Are you sure he isn’t some mass murderer?” Robin asked after he had explained the job. “Because that sounds too good to be true.”

“Well unless major rockstar and music producer, Eddie Munson is a mass murder,” he snarked back, “I high doubt I’m going to be murdered in my sleep.”

“You could be being catfished,” she warned. “He could only be pretending to be Eddie Munson just lure handsome young men to their deaths.”

Steve laughed. “Uh...no. The pictures online matched all the way to the cute dimpled smile he gets when he’s feeling super happy.”

“Ooh...” Robin teased. “Hot musician got it bad for the au pair boy.”

“No...” he whined. “He was looking at his daughters when he smiled like that. No dating the hot parents. That’s the number one rule. You know this.”

She burst out laughing, too. “For the married ones! But he’s single. It’s been a year since his very public break up with ex Ethan Giovanni. He’s trusting you with the two cutest girls ever. Like why not tap that?”

“Because I want to keep watching said little girls,” Steve huffed. “Plus he’s going on tour for three months in two days. Not going to happen.”

“Yeah,” Robin said. “For now.”

He told her about how they wanted to him to start that night and how this was the final test on whether or not he would be good fit.

“Knock ‘em dead, babe,” Robin said. “You’ve got this.”

~

Steve opted for a chicken lasagna with white sauce. He could sneak some vegetables in there and see if he could trick them into eating them.

He shredded the chicken and blended spinach and basil into the sauce. Added lots of shredded cheese as well as a well seasoned ricotta and popped in the oven.

While it was cooking he went up to the room that would be his if he got the job. It was large for some place where the help would be staying, but small in comparison to the girls room. Which they shared for now. Once they started school, Eddie said that they would be given their own rooms, but with them being so young it was good to keep them together.

Steve agreed.

He was close by, but he also had a baby monitor with camera that the app would be downloaded to his phone.

The house was well fitted with security measures that had only been tightened since the girls were born.

The room had that same Gothic, spooky feel, but wasn’t over the top with it. Instead of reds and blacks the room was dark browns and deep blues. Steve felt like he was floating on a ship on the high seas. He scratched his cheek thoughtfully.

He wondered if he could go a little harder on the nautical theme. There was an en suite bathroom that could also lean toward the nautical with its soft blues and teal color of the tiles and walls.

Eddie had given him a budget to decorate his rooms and now he was planning a shopping trip with Robin.

Steve knew he was getting ahead of himself, but he wanted the job so bad. Surely the universe wouldn’t be so cruel as to taunt him with it only to take it away.

He checked the timer on his phone and saw that it was almost time to check on the lasagna. He trotted back down the kitchen, again admiring the decor of the place. Everything felt antique but timeless at the same time.

He really did love it.

The kitchen was even stylishly antique in look and flavor, but all the appliances were state of the art. Only nothing was connected to the internet here. It was honestly freeing in that regard.

He hummed to himself as he pulled the dish out of the oven and set it on the stove top to let it firm up a bit before serving. He started to get down plates and cups for dinner. He quickly set the table for three adults and two children. Noting that one plate had a pink kangaroo and the other had a blue ballerina.

Steve correctly guessed which plate where as each girl came running up to the seats that they were sitting in for lunch and gasped in surprise that the right plate was in the right spot.

“Daddy, Daddy!” Joan cried. “He didn’t put my plate in Jannie’s spot!”

Eddie grinned down at his youngest. “So he did. Say thank you.” He turned to Janice, too. “You too, little miss.”

“Thank you, Stevie!” Joan and Janice said together.

Steve practically melted on the spot. He wanted to scoop them up and hold them forever. “I hope you’re all hungry, I made enough for an army.”

He set the dish on a couple of hotplates and everyone, yes even the girls, oohed and awed.

“This looks amazing, Steve,” Eddie said, positively salivating. “You didn’t have to go this far. Something simple would have been just fine.”

“Yeah, Steve,” Chrissy said, leaning forward to smell the lasagna. “I might have to haunt this place while Eddie’s gone if you’re going to cook like this, sweetie.”

Steve blushed as he dished out the lasagna, before serving himself a slice. He picked up his plate and silverware (which looked like actual antique silver, he was not looking foward to handwashing them later) to move to the kitchen.

Eddie looked up at him with his big puppy dog eyes. “Where are you going? You’re going to eat with us right?”

Steve looked around the table and no one said a word against it. “Oh. Um... I’ve never eaten with the whole family before. I eat with the kids when it’s just us, but usually when the parents are there, they want me to eat in the kitchen.”

“Sit.”

Steve set his stuff back on the table and next to Eddie. The only other open on the far end of the table. He dug into his lasagna.

“So you want to break down their evening routine for me?” Steve asked after his second or third bite.

“No business at the dinner table!” Joan cried, kicking her feet in protest.

“Yeaahhhh...” Janice chorused. “That’s the rule.”

Steve raised an eyebrow at Eddie. Who coughed into his fist and looked more than a little sheepish. There was definitely a story there and judging from the sly grin Chrissy was giving him, Eddie was no doubt the reason for said rule.

Eddie cleared his throat and set down his fork. “I’m, was a music producer for a very prominent metal label and before that I was the lead singer of ‘Corroded Coffin’. One of the few and I mean very few valid points my ex had was that I wouldn’t be present at the dinner table.” He twisted the rings on his fingers nervously.

“I would either be talking some band or another, messaging different people about the record I was working on or even just on the phone with former members of my band. So when I quit two years ago to try and save my marriage I still had people calling me and asking for my opinion, so the rule no business at the table was born.”

Steve smiled down at his plate. “No business at the dinner table then.” He paused and tilted his head to the side. “Would be asking you girls what you like business or just being friendly?”

Both girls looked at Eddie for guidance. “I leave it up to you, girls. I think it falls under being friendly.”

Joan cocked her head the side and instantly Steve was struck on how much like her dad she was. “I think it’s business,” she said with a pout. “Like in preschool.”

“I think it’s friendly,” Janice said, just to be contrary to her sister.

Chrissy and Eddie shared a knowing smirk and Steve realized this was a new thing and they might need those separate rooms sooner rather than later.

“How about we compromise,” Steve said gently. “I’ll tell you something about me, and if you want to you can share your favorite thing. Like if I said my favorite color was yellow, you could tell me what your favorite color is. But you don’t have to.”

“My favorite color is pink,” Janice said proudly. “Daddy says my room will be pink.”

Joan stuck her tongue out at her sister, because she knew she was had. “My favorite color is blue.”

“My favorite color is black,” Eddie said, joining in. “And red. Can’t forget red.”

Chrissy giggled. “Well, I guess if everyone else getting in on this, mine is green. I love that it’s the color of fresh cut grass, and spring, and how hot I look in it.”

Steve snorted as he was bringing his glass up to drink. Thankfully he wasn’t quite drinking when she said that. “Green’s a great color.”

Eddie and Chrissy shared another smirk.

“Ooh, I know why don’t we go around in circle,” Eddie suggested. “Like my favorite movie is ‘Lord of the Rings: Return of the King’.”

Steve smiled around his cup and then set it down. “I like that idea. My favorite movie is ‘The King’s Speech’. Colin Firth as King George VI and learning how to overcome his stutter? Amazing.”

Janice bounced up and down in her seat excitedly when she proudly cried, “Paddington Bear!”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Yep, and now there always has to be marmalade in the house at all times.”

Steve chuckled. Poor Dad. “Have you seen the second one yet?” He knew there was a second one, but not when it came out.

Janice nodded fiercely. “Poor Paddington!”

“Barbie and 12 Dancing Princesses’!” Joan replied next. “There are so many pretty dresses in that one!”

“Ooh,” Steve cooed. “That’s a fun one. And there are so many Barbie movies to chose from, have you watched all of them yet?”

Joan nodded as Eddie shook his head sadly. “So, so, so many times. Same with both Paddington Bear movies. So have fun.” He flashed Steve a smile that was half between a grin and a grimace.

“Well I haven’t seen any of them yet,” Steve said with a wink a Janice. “You’ll have to show them to me tomorrow.”

“My current favorite is ‘The Quiet Place: Day One’,” Chrissy said. “Lupita Nyong’o is just too gorgeous for me to not watch every movie she’s in. I even watched Marvel movies for her and I’m a DC girlie all the way.”

They went around the table learning favorite books and other things about each other. Joan forced to participate so she wouldn’t be left out of the conversation. Then after they were all done. Steve cleaned up and put the leftovers into the fridge.

Then he watched as Eddie put his girls to bed. They got baths on Tuesdays and Saturdays unless they were super messy that day. They brushed their teeth to Daniel Tiger song and got into their pajamas.

Well...pajamas for Janice and a nightgown for Joan. Each one got a different story complete with all the different voices. He was assured he wouldn’t have to do the voices. That was only a Daddy thing.

Then the lights were turned off leaving the glow of the bumblebee nightlight to lighten the room and find its way into Steve’s heart.

~

Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

Tag List: CLOSED

1-@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji

5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss

9- @sadisticaltarts @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @dolphincliffs @steddie-as-they-go @steddieislife

10- @kultiras @morallyundefined @ollieolive

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

the way Pearl instantly slammed down her "check out Marina she's so ***ing AWESOME" line so fast and it's the smoothest verse she spits in the rap battle-

she was SO READY to gush about Marina she was SO THERE for the chance and when it came she didn't even have to THINK

her going from casual barely-worth-my-time roasts and boasts (talking over Frye's turn like she isn't even there) to 'did you just call marina an imaginary friend?? YO ARE YOU CRAZY SHES AMAZING'

and THEN instead of getting defensive or pissed at Frye's 'oh so she's your groupie' jab she just turns hype man literally goes AS IF! LISTEN TO THIS! before bowing out so Marina can freeze Shiver solid by cheerfully taking every passive aggressive compliment from Shiver with a smile, a hearts eyes emoji, and an uno reverse card

Shiver: "Your voice is so haunting (possibly in a bad way) must be nice for your fans (implying it isn't so nice for anyone else)"

Marina, mimicking Shiver's singing: "You're far too kind! (i see you insulting me on the sly) Love your vibe! (that's very cute~) I can learn so much from your style! (i'll give you a taste of your own medicine if you want me to~)"

Shiver: "You remind me of my neighbor's daughter- (grow up) what do they say? Octo see octo do? (stop copying me)"

Marina: "Glad you approve- (im rubber you're glue) your praise has left me moved (not saying what KIND of moved tho). Thanks to your notes (you decide if i mean your feedback or your actual ability to hit musical notes) I'll find my own groove! (you're not actually worth copying for real~)"

Shiver: "Oh, look at the time. Isn't it getting late? (if you keep acting like a kid im going to treat you like one)"

Marina: "Not at all! I could go on like this all night long. (what do you mean? im having so much fun right now!) (oh but is this hard for you? ...do YOU need a break...?)"

and then Pearl barges in with a HOW'S THAT? YOU HAD ENOUGH YET??????

like kudos to Shiver and Frye for laying out some slick jabs, but they were working as two solo acts and didn't have a power couple combo move to counter Pearlina's with m(_ _)m ....they spent the whole time on offensive defense, trying to inflict some deep lyrical cuts while Pearl and Marina were happily tossing out hooks and reeling in fresh lines as they floated high up above on their dumb little rainbow cloud together

legit Pearl's only real reaction to Frye is her going <3 <3 <3 at Marina, and Marina not even treating Shiver as someone she needs to fight with while Shiver repeatedly tries poking at her, which Pearl sees and just effing LOVES ....amazing.......

no matter who you think rapped better, it's pretty clear which pair had the most fun and got the most kicks out of this (the wives)

WHICH IS EVEN FUNNIER BC IT'S HONEST TO COD JUST FRYE BURSTING INTO OFF THE HOOK'S GREEN ROOM AND YELLING AT THEM FOR DARING TO HAVE A CONCERT IN HER TOWN ONLY TO GET SMACKED IN THE FACE BY A RAINBOW LASER BEAM OF GAY MUSIC I LOVE IT XD

[floatingcatacombs]

The Normal Author’s Girlfriend’s List Of Bad Yuri Anime

12 Days of Aniblogging 2024, Day 11

So you’ve seen some good yuri anime: Revolutionary Girl Utena (and the movie, if you want), Bloom Into You, Puella Magi Madoka Magica (plus, of course, Rebellion, which is essential), Bocchi: The Rock!, Girls Last Tour. You know HaruMichi and Farcille and poor sweet Tomoyo Daidouji and Quanxi’s whole deal. You’ve been queerbaited by Kyoani, or maybe you got lucky and watched Dragon Maid which was actually gay; you no longer get weirded out by incest; you wanted more Utena and got The Witch from Mercury S1 (good) or Revue Starlight (bad); maybe you’ve even gone back to Oniisama e and discovered Ryoko Ikeda’s incredible butch-for-butch technologies.

You’ve seen some good yuri and that’s been great. It’s just… there isn’t that much of it. Well, you could start reading manga, or books, or talking to actual women, but you want more yuri anime specifically.

To you, dear reader, I offer up this solution:

Bad Yuri.

Floating Catacombs 2025 Presents:

A Normal Author’s Girlfriend Production

The Normal Author’s Girlfriend’s List Of Bad Yuri Anime

Before we get started, let’s define our terms. First: Bad Yuri must not be in good taste. Second, let us consider some ‘ungood’ yuri, that we might understand what we aren’t looking for:

Case 1: Liz and the Blue Bird.

Boring and forgettable. Bad Yuri must be watchable.

Case 2: Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight.

Yeah the butchfemme was good but I spent this entire show waiting for KuroMaya and they only got half an episode. I don’t fucking care about ‘childhood friends’. Bad Yuri must be enjoyable.

Case 3: Hibike Euphonium

It has to be gay. Come on. This is like the most basic requirement.

Case 4: MagiRevo, Undead Murder Farce

Being gay is not enough. You have to have actual characters.

In sum: Bad Yuri must be in bad taste; it must be watchable on a minute-to-minute basis; it must not leave the watcher with a bad taste in her mouth; it must actually be gay; and it must have some semblance of characterization. In practice it is basically always violent and horny. We’re talking like Kill La Kill levels, although if you ever want to watch that you should just go see Promare instead. Also, I reserve the right to break any and all of these rules whenever I feel like it. Without further ado:

Cross Ange

Content Warnings: Blood, Violence, Death, Sexual Assault, Ryona, Incest, Bad Taste, Needlessly Edgy, It’s Just Porn At This Point, Incredibly Stupid Plot Twists, Pretty Much Every Fetish

Princess Ange’s traitorous older brother exiles her to an island full of lesbians, where she must pilot a mech to fight dragons in incredibly revealing clothing.

This is Code Geass if it was about a girl and also worse (sorry Roze of the Recapture). This show starts with a baby being arrested. They put the baby in a special little baby jail cage in the back of a police car. The first episode ends with lesbian rape under the justification of a strip search. The weak girls on Pussy Fight Island pull knives on each other at the slightest provocation; the stronger girls pull guns; the strongest girls just use their hands.

It’s got all the subtlety of villainess manga. It’s got girls pissing themselves. It’s got a girl named Riza, short for Lizardia, because she is secretly a DRAGON. Forget ‘Lesbian soldier hopelessly in love with her commander’ – it’s got that too but it has I kid you not a lesbian harem where the top dies in combat so one of the four harem girlies has to turn into a top like a clownfish undergoing sequential hermaphroditism and take over. And then she dies too and the next one in line has to take over and then it happens again and then when it’s down to two one of them leaves because she can tell the current top’s heart isn’t in it and defects to Akio Ohtori’s side, because at least he’s willing to fuck her (lesbian cuckold count: 1) And everybody’s ass is out at all times.

It’s also got a surprising amount of Gundam intertextuality? The comparisons to Iron-Blooded Orphans are obvious; Kira Yamato is there, for some reason; her mecha is the Zeta Gundam but if it was the Strike Freedom with the TR-6 Woundwort’s Psyco Blade Goddess Antenna from Mobile Suit Gundam: Advance of Zeta: The Flag of Titans; the girls in Ange’s squadron each map perfectly to Shaddiq Zenelli’s Grassley girls.

But that’s not what you’re here for. You’re here for the scene where Hilda confesses that she’s in love with Ange but understands that Ange can never love her back, because Ange is already in love with Kira Yamato, and also with Salamandinay, a DRAGON princess from the True Earth who arrived through a dimensional rift to free Aura, the first DRAGON and the source of all magic, before Ange grabs her and gives her a full kiss while telling her that the world she’s fighting to create will have all kinds of relationships.

God Jill is so hot.

Shlock: Maximum

Lesbian: Yes, somehow, and bisexual as well. It is a male gaze thing but that’s going to be a constant with this microgenre. The vast majority of people who like women are men statistically and sometimes thank god they produce something like this

Watchability: High, if you have covid

Quality: Awful.

The Executioner And Her Way Of Life

Content Warnings: Death, Ryona, Incest, Bad Taste, Needlessly Edgy, Incredibly Stupid Plot Twist

Menou is a priestess in Isekai World whose job is to hunt down and kill Isekai Boys before they start causing problems with their Isekai Boy Powers. But this latest Isekai Boy Target… is a Girl With Enormous Tatas who she can’t kill because she auto-rewinds time to erase any wounds.

What really does it here for me is Menou’s relationship with her mentor, Flare, who groomed trained her from a young age to cut off all her emotions in order to make her a better executioner. I’m not immune to Empty Spaces/Combat Dolls/Signalis. What if Christianity wasn’t about raising girls as lambs to the slaughter but was instead about raising girls to use knives to kill people? A seductive premise for those with my particular flavor of religious trauma. Akari is fine, although I feel like Smith (Bravern) did Homura better.

I also like Momo, although I have a weakness for lesbian cuckolds (more on that later, possibly).

Shlock: High

Lesbian: Lesbian

Watchability: Moderate

Quality: Mid

Kakegurui

Content Warnings: Bad Taste, Needlessly Edgy, Boy Protagonist before the story thankfully gets bored of him, It’s Just Porn At This Point

Yumeko Jabami transfers into Gambling Academy, where everybody gambles and failing to pay your debts means being forced into petplay slavery. Luckily for her and unluckily for everyone else she is the world’s most perfect gambler because it turns her on.

Maybe the highest exposure show on this list? It’s got gambling, and sexual gambling, and a girl who can only orgasm if she’s actively taking place in a gamble where she could die. At one point she whacks off in a bathroom playing solo Russian Roulette. It’s got a Netflix original season 2 villain who was a girl forced to dress as a boy for years in ways that drove her sexually insane. It’s got The Tower of Doors, which is the most woman game that any woman has ever played.

My favorite bit character is probably the early villain who collects fingernails from everybody she beats because that’s her fetish, or the hopelessly-devoted Student Council Secretary who wants only to lay her face on the chair where her beloved Student Council President sits (lesbian cuckold count 3; 4 if you count Midori). She asks to gamble with her life and Yumeko says that that’s boring, and that there are things she values more – and that they’ll gamble with one life vs her relationship to the Student Council President instead.

Watch the opening for this one – it’s very clear about what it is, and if it doesn’t hook you it isn’t the show for you.

Shlock: Very High

Lesbian: Surprisingly

Watchability: Very high

Quality: Fine

Akuma No Riddle

Content Warnings: Violence, Sexual Assault, Death, Ryona, Bad Taste, Needlessly Edgy, Fanservice, Various Fetishes

Bishonen girl assassin Tokaku Azuma has received her first assignment: attend the Black Class at Killing People Murder High School and kill sweet and innocent-seeming Haru Ichinose, who she immediately falls in love with. Unfortunately the other eleven members of the Black Class are also there to kill Haru.

And they’re all lesbian or bisexual. And they’re all freaks.

They’re constantly pulling guns and knives on each other. Like every conversation a weapon will come out – possibly two. There’s a lesbian serial killer who really likes using scissors on girls. Sexually. The Student Council President is sexually devoted to the school principal. There’s a twenty-year-old spoiled rich girl with a boy’s name because she was named after her mom, who was a gay man. Her dad was also a gay man. If you dare say anything homophobic about this she will kill you. Two of these girls locked eyes right as they transferred in and immediately dropped everything to engage in a 24/7 ageplay dynamic. The other spoiled rich girl is secretly a cyborg and in love with the multiple personality girl, who wants to kill her as well.

This is by the author of infamous shotacon BL manga Loveless, so I guess all that is to be expected.

Also… Akiko Morishima got really into making doujinshi for this one? Sure.

Shlock: High

Lesbian: Yeah

Watchability: Pretty decent

Quality: Sure

Yuri Kuma Arashi

Content Warnings: Sexual Assault, Bad Taste, It’s Basically Just Porn At This Point, Bears

Lesbian Bear Storm.

For my money, the best Ikuhara post-Utena work is Sarazanmai, but Yurikuma Arashi absolutely earns its spot on this list. The pieces of a story about how lesbian desire is used to titillate a male audience but never fulfilled, how desire is regulated and rendered hideous, and how girls enforce heteropatriarchy by manufacturing consensus completely independent of men are in there somewhere under the moaning naked girls licking honey off precisely-positioned lilies. I think? It’s well-directed, at least.

Shlock: Ikuni

Lesbian: Ikunirappa

Watchability: Ikunichauda

Quality: Ikunigomamonaka

(the first half of) Birdie Wing: Girls Golf Story

Content Warnings: Violence, Bad Taste, Incest but not really, Golf, The Threat of Having To Resort To Survival Sex Work Underlying This Stupid Golf Show

Birdie Wing is the story of a girl who hates golf and a girl who loves golf. Season two fails to make par because it loves golf too much; season one, with the baffling metaverse vr episode, the underground mafia roguelike golf-to-the-death course, the woman who golfs so hard her robotic arm explodes, and the inexplicable Bandai property references, is the way to go.

I hate golf in the way only an eldest daughter forced into golf lessons hates golf. When Birdie Wing hates golf – when Eve swaggers onto the course in her stupid outfits, refusing to adhere to any etiquette, uses only three clubs and slaps a ball directly into the flag to drop it straight down? I love that. When she lifts her driver and points it and says she’ll kill somebody with it? I love that.

Also like when Aoi says she’ll get her attention with this and pulls her extra long driver out and holds it like a strap. And then her beleaguered caddie talks about how Aoi pierces everyone through with an innocent smile. That was good.

The thing that stuck with me the most wasn’t actually any of the golf shenanigans – it was the way that Eve effectively shoots Aoi down when they discover that they shared a father and were therefore half-sisters. Well, it’s yuri – incest is just something you get used to. Except then it gets revealed that that was a fakeout, because Aoi’s dad was actually her dad’s best friend and her parents were in a throuple that the dad who raised her left behind to secretly raise Eve. Also her dad is Amuro Reiya and also Char Aznable is in this one? And the HG Turn A Gundam? Don’t forget to increment the Lesbian Cuckold clock up to five – Aoi herself and her poor caddy, who didn’t deserve a mysterious blonde swooping in like that.

Oh god I didn’t even mention Vipere, the slutty snake-themed bisexual underground mafia golfer (you know, for the underground golf mafia) who uses pheromones to control her opponents, gets outgolfed, and then shonen-rival style sticks around to help out whenever somebody needs a car (as the girls are too young to drive).

Shlock: Absolutely

Lesbian: Somehow

Watchability: High

Quality: Better than it had any right to be

Maria Holic

Content Warnings: Transphobia, Bad Taste, Fanservice

Kanako Miyamae is a hopeless hapless lesbian excited to attend Lily Yuri Girls Only Academy. She falls in love with a beautiful blonde girl, the queen of the school – and discovers her ideal gf is actually a boy crossdressing to attend the academy who wants nothing more than to torment her sexually.

Maria Holic works like this: Mariya wants something from Kanako, and wears a sexual little outfit/exposes his feet/blows her a kiss/strips his maid’s top off to control her through her sexuality or just because he feels like it and she falls over of anime nosebleed disorder before she remembers “oh right Mariya is a boy” and starts eating her own organs Pearl Steven Universe style. Occasionally a girl who calls herself god will say something uninteresting. Kanako has a little pervert fantasy about one of her classmates. The cast has a reference-heavy Studio Shaft Conversation. Kanako can’t get Mariya out of her head. God I had to retype every ‘him’ up there from a ‘her’ because there is no way that little bitch is anything but a girl – it just doesn’t stick in my head. They don’t make boys like that. Torturing a girl like that is a female trait.

If you don’t want to watch a lesbian get relentlessly edged by a brat this show may not be for you. In all honesty even with Studio Shaft direction I found this almost completely unwatchable but it does earn its slot here. If you want a good Studio Shaft yuri show? Go watch Madoka Magica or Hidasketch.

It does have an excellent opening though.

Shlock: High

Lesbian: Well it has at least one

Watchability: No

Quality: No

Re: Cutie Honey

Content Warnings: It’s Basically Just Porn At This Point. but god. Natsuko Aki

“Honey Flash!” yeah she sure does huh

Transforming android Honey Kisaragi fights against evil organization Panther Claw, with the reluctant help of her annoyed cop eventual bestie Na-chan. This is good, actually. Go watch it.

Seriously. The animation is so fun and vibrant! They do the super-cost-saving stills being moved thing in a very high-energy way that comes across as a reference to the original manga format and then every so often they’ll pull out absolutely incredible action sequences.

Look at this!!! Her triangular stompy steps! The super low line count on her as she slowly advances with the gun flying toward her hand! Her Go Nagai snarl!!!!! It’s a real treat for the eyes even without the naked women. There’s only so much “saving your best friend by the power of being naked and kissing” you can do before it stops being bait and starts just being They Are In Love.

Shlock: Absolutely

Lesbian: NATSUKO AKI

Watchability: High

Quality: Yeah

Akiba Maid War

Content Warnings: Genre-Typical, No Spoilers Don’t Worry About it

Go watch this right now.

Shlock: Less than you’d think

Lesbian: Yes

Watchability: Extreme

Quality: Genuine

A Very Specific Set Of Monogatari Arcs

Content Warnings: yeah that guy is sexually harassing that 11 year old and also that tiny little vampire and also both of his little sisters.

Show beloved by pretentious internet perverts.

Alright. You are going to watch Episodes 1-8 of Bakemonogatari Season 1, (skipping 3-5 depending on your tolerance for watching small girls getting sexually harassed) and then you are going to watch the five episodes of standalone arc Hanamonogatari, halfway through Season 2. If you really like Hanekawa, who is bisexual, watch 11-15, Neko Black and Neko White. If you really like animation, watch Kizu. Do not be tricked into thinking more of this show will be gay because Hanekawa and Senjougahara had sex in a shower once. If your goggles are really on tight, enjoy Nadeko Draw but you’ll have to sit through the previous Nadeko and Yotsugi arcs to get there and I can’t in good conscience recommend you do that.

Shlock: Less than you'd think

Lesbian: One

Watchability: SHAFT

Quality: Yes

[starryeyedjanai]

bet.

steddie | 2.8k

read on ao3

Happy Birthday @wynnyfryd 🥰🥰🥰 I've had this idea floating around in my brain for a while now and seeing it was your birthday prompted me to finish it 💕

---

It's his first time in Indianapolis as an out bisexual, so of course Robin takes him to a gay club - to experience the drag queens and to see other queer people having fun, she says.

It's a little overwhelming, the bright lights and the music and the people. But he's having a great time, people watching and drinking virgin daiquiris and talking with Robin.

She's been here before - she came with Vickie when they were still together one weekend and they had a blast. So when Steve figured his sexuality shit out and came out to her, this was the first place she wanted to take him.

Now, he can see why. It's a haven of sorts. Gay men dancing together and kissing each other, gay women getting cozy in the booths, drag queen and drag kings about. He hasn't felt like he's belonged somewhere in a long time, but it kind of feels like he belongs here. The atmosphere is welcoming and kind.

They dance a little before everything gets overwhelming and then they find an empty booth to sit down and sip at their drinks in.

Robin keeps trying to encourage him to find someone to kiss so that they can call this night a success, but he keeps telling her that no one has caught his eye. And it's kind of true. He's seen some men that he thinks might be his type, but they're all paired up with men who look nothing like Steve. Even then, the few people that have caught his eye weren't right, somehow.

He keeps holding out, hoping to find someone that makes his heart skip a beat, or whatever the appropriate cliche for a gay club is.

And it. It happens.

He glances over at the bar as he's taking the last few sips of his drink, thinking about if he wants to brave the crowd at the bar, when he sees him.

His heart doesn't skip a beat, but he knows as soon as he lays eyes on him that he wants him. He's beautiful - and intimidating.

He's sitting facing away from the bar with his legs splayed open, ripped jeans revealing what looks like fishnet stockings underneath them. He's wearing a tank top that's showing off his many tattoos and Steve is struck with the urge to know what they taste like. His combat boots are clunky and could seriously kick someone's ass if they messed with him. His wavy hair is half tied up, a messy ponytail holding his hair out of his face, but the bottom half is freely falling past his shoulders.

He kind of feels like he's been bit by the love bug - he can't take his eyes off him.

He knows Robin is saying something to him, but he can't even hear it. It's all just background noise. He doesn't think he's ever been so captivated by someone before. He wants to put his mouth on him.

"Steve? Oh my god, stop ignoring me!" Robin says and snaps her fingers in front of his face, pulling him from his reverie. He looks over at her sheepishly.

"Sorry, Robbie," he says, looking back over at the guy briefly and yep, he's still just as hot as the first time he looked.

"What was that? Did you see someone you like? You looked like you blacked out for a minute there," she says, a smirk pulling at her lips.

He rolls his eyes. Of course she already knows - his type is people that look like they could stomp on him and he'd say thanks. "Black tank top, ripped jeans, at the bar. I think I'm in love," he says with a sigh. He's way too intimidated to go over there.

She squeals in his ear and says, "This is so exciting! You have to go kiss him now."

"Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not just gonna go up to a stranger and ask if he'll be my first gay kiss."

"And why not?" she asks, stirring her drink.

"Because that's insane," he says. "He's probably already got someone. He's, he's gorgeous. There's no way he's here alone." It's a shame, but it's probably true - he's way too good looking to be here alone.

"There's only one way to find out," Robin says. She leans forward and whispers in his ear, a challenge of sorts.

"You can't be serious," he says to her, questioning his own sanity for even entertaining her for one second.

She leans back in and whispers more into his ear and he groans.

"You're diabolical," he tells her, pulling back to smack a kiss on her forehead. He stands up and takes a deep breath before marching over to the bar. He can't believe he's doing this.

He marches right up to the guy and immediately every word in his vocabulary is gone. He's so fucking pretty.

"Um. Uh, hi," he says, stupidly.

The guy bites his lip and grins at him. He says, "Hi," back to him and Steve is literally going to die, he thinks. He couldn't see it from across the club before, but this guy has a lip piercing, and Steve wants to know what it feels like against his mouth so fucking bad.

"I need you to kiss me," he blurts out, trying not to cringe.

"You need me to, to kiss you?" the guy asks, and this was a bad idea, the worst idea Robin's ever had. There's no way he's going to agree to this.

"So, my friend-" he stops, looking back at Robin - she waves at them. He's trying so hard not to blush as he turns back to the guy and says, "She bet me that I couldn't get a guy to kiss me since it's my first time here. So I was wondering if you would kiss me, so I can win the bet." He's steeling himself for rejection, for this guy to tell him to fuck off or maybe have mercy and let him down gently by telling him he's taken.

But he just smiles, tilting his head at Steve. "Why me?"

"Hmm?" Steve asks.

"Why me?" the guy asks again. "Out of all the guys here, you picked me. Why?"

Steve sputters for a second. "You, I mean. You have to know how you look, right? Like, you're gorgeous."

He grins again, tonguing at his lip ring and Steve is so down bad for him, it's actually insane. "Okay," he says. "I'll accept that answer. Now, if you get your kiss, you win your bet, but what's in it for me?"

Steve is hoping that if he's still talking to him, that means he actually has a shot. He's feeling dizzy with how much he wants to kiss him. He really fucking hopes he can kiss him.

He says, "A kiss?" with what he hopes is a charming - and not at all maniacal - grin.

The guy snorts. Rude. He snorts at Steve and says, "I think I'll need a little more that that, don't you think, sweetheart?"

Steve nods dumbly, says, "I'll split my winnings with you. Would that work?"

He's not expecting it to work, is the thing. He doesn't expect him to say yes.

Which is why he's so surprised when he reaches out and tugs Steve closer by the collar of his shirt. He did not know being yanked around was his thing, but apparently it is because good god.

"That works for me," the guy says, eyes going molten as he looks at Steve.

He can't believe that worked. Holy shit.

He's. He's nervous, he realizes. He's had a lot of first kisses, been on many first dates that ended in him kissing someone unfamiliar. But this is nerve-wracking for him in a way it hasn't been before.

He lets the guy pull him in further by his collar, lets him control when the kiss happens.

The first press of their lips has Steve sighing and opening his mouth slightly, wanting more, wanting to taste him. He kisses him, lets himself be kissed really. He opens his mouth more when a tongue snakes out and presses into his mouth.

Steve's hands come up to pull him closer, to pull - fuck, he doesn't even know his name, yet. He's doing this all wrong. He meant to get his name before shoving his tongue down his throat.

But it's good, the feeling of soft lips pressed against his, the cold metal of his piercing pressing against his mouth, his tongue stroking over Steve's in a way that makes him wish they were alone, wish they weren't here surrounding by all these people. He wants to kiss him and keep kissing him until the breath runs out of his lungs. He wants to put his hands on him, to dip his fingers into the rips in his jeans and feel the rough fishnets against his fingertips.

He pulls his mouth away to gasp out, "What's your name?" because he needs to know, needs to have some connection, some thread to hold onto, to grasp as they're kissing.

"Eddie," he whispers against Steve's mouth. "What's yours?" Eddie asks. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

"Steve," he says before pressing his mouth against Eddie's again. He wants to kiss him forever. He never wants to stop. He wants Eddie to keep licking into his mouth like he owns it until the bartender yells out that it's last call. He wants Eddie to keep holding him like this until Robin drags him away as they turn the lights on in the club to kick everyone out. He wants, he wants, he wants.

He gets a hand tangled in Eddie's hair and gets their heads tilted right so that they can lick deeper into each other's mouths. It's burning him up inside, the way their tongues are sliding together, the way Eddie's licking behind his teeth and sucking on his tongue like he's trying to taste the daiquiri he was drinking earlier.

Eddie tastes like tobacco and something sweet, like he was drinking something sweet before Steve came up to him too. God, Steve wants to know everything about him - what's his go-to drink order, does he smoke, does he prefer beer over mixed drinks, is he seeing anyone, please don't be seeing anyone, god.

He feels desperate, he feels out of control. He wants Eddie to take him apart like he's never wanted anything else in his life. He wants those hands on him, wants to feel the rings on his fingers pressing marks into his skin. He want his hands gripping his hips, sliding down and touching him. He doesn't think he's ever wanted like this.

The only reason they break apart is because someone's elbow ends up in Steve's back and he ends up pushed further into the crease of Eddie's thigh. He feels him hard against him and he knows Eddie can feel how hard he is too. Fuck, it's like everything else faded away when Eddie's mouth was on his, but now that they're not kissing, he's suddenly achingly aware that he's hard in his incredibly tight pants after making out with Eddie for god knows how long.

His face is probably red and sweaty, but Eddie's still looking at him like he wants him and god, does he want him back.

But he pulls back a little, puts some space between their hips because he quite literally can't ditch Robin here go hook up with Eddie, no matter how much he wants to.

He bites his lip and pulls his hand back, the one that was tangled in Eddie's long hair. He puts it on Eddie's chest and asks, "Was that okay?" because he thinks he knows the answer, but it never hurts to hear it.

Eddie huffs out a laugh and says, "Was that okay, he asks. Sweetheart, I think you and I both know that was something on a completely different realm from just okay."

If Steve wasn't blushing before, he definitely is now. He says, "Good, good. I'm glad we're on the same page."

Eddie leans close like he's going to kiss him again. He brushes his lips against Steve's in a dry press - barely a kiss, but it has Steve aching all the same anyway. He drags his mouth along his jaw, just mouthing at it, and it's the hottest thing Steve's ever felt.

He whispers in Steve's ear, "Your friend is trying really hard to get your attention right now," and that pulls Steve right back down to earth.

He pulls away again and turns around to see Robin waving her arms at him. He puts his hands on his hips and raises his eyebrows at her. She waves her hand at him, beckoning him back to their table so he holds up a finger to tell her to hold the fuck on.

He turns back around and says, "I think I'm being summoned. As much as I want to stay and as much as I, like, desperately want to keep kissing you, I should get back to my friend."

Eddie crosses his arms over his chest and leans back against the bar and Steve can't help the way his eyes sweep over him again. Eddie's smirking when he looks back up at him.

"That's fair," Eddie says. "So, what did we win?"

Steve makes a questioning sound, before he remembers what Eddie's talking about. He sheepishly brings a hand up to swipe his hair out of his face where its begun to stick to his forehead. "Oh, uh, about that. There never really was a bet."

"Really?" Eddie asks, leaning forward again into Steve space, like that's the most interesting thing he's heard all night.

Steve shakes his head. "I promised half of the winnings, but the winnings are zero, so half of zero is still zero, you know?"

Eddie grins at him and says, "You're kind of devious, you know that? Here I was, thinking I'd get a prize at the end of that kiss."

"Sorry for getting your hopes up, but I mean, it was a good kiss, right?" Steve asks, boldly leaning forward to press his mouth against Eddie's again. Eddie lets him, lets Steve kiss him, softer than before. Before it was all new and exciting and hot, and it still is, but this kiss is tender, pulling a gasp from Steve's lips when they separate.

"It was a good kiss," Eddie agrees, pecking him on the lips again, soft and sweet.

"Can I have your number?" Steve asks, trying to be brave for once. He got Eddie to kiss him, even if it was under less than truthful circumstances, but he hopes it was good enough to warrant a call back.

"Your friend, is she seeing anyone?" Eddie asks, and Steve's head is kind of spinning at the redirection there.

"She and her girlfriend broke up a couple months ago. Why?" he asks, wondering where this is going. If this guy is actually somehow straight and only kissed him to get with Robin, Steve's gonna lose it.

"I'll tell you what, if you can convince your friend to kiss my friend, you can have my number," Eddie says, gesturing to the girl that's been sitting next to him at the bar this entire time.

And- oh. Oh god, he's embarrassed.

Has she just been awkwardly sitting there while Eddie made out with him? He was half a second away from dry humping Eddie and his friend was sitting there patiently waiting for them to stop. That's embarrassing.

She's cute - she's got this whole cheery, bubblegum vibe to her that didn't make Steve glance twice at her once he had his eyes set on Eddie because the two of them are kind of polar opposites. He didn't think they were here together.

His eyes shift back and forth between them and she waggles her fingers at him in a wave, smirking at his caught out look.

"Chrissy," she says, sticking out her hand to shake Steve's. He's kind of intimidated by her too, but he's got to hand it to her - he doesn't think even Robin would sit through him making out with someone right next to her. He guesses he does kind of owe it to both her and Robin. He and Eddie were making out for a while.

"Steve," he says, lamely. "Sorry for making out with your friend right next to you. Um, I'm gonna go grab Robin now."

They both watch him as he leaves, which makes his skin prickle and his heartbeat speed up. He makes a beeline back to Robin and lets her coo at him for a minute about having his first gay kiss.

She's talking a mile a minute asking about how it was, if he got his number, when Steve interrupts her.

"Bobbin, you are not gonna believe this," he says, and when he's got her attention, he continues, "I think I just found you a girlfriend?"

[emmawithtwoms]

The Hogwarts Library

@wolfstarmicrofic day 29 -441 words

The getting together of Remus Lupin and Sirius Black was a big deal. Or at least, it should have been. 

I mean, the first openly gay couple at Hogwarts was pretty earth shattering news, and not only that, but Sirius Black was part of that couple, and you gotta know people LOVE to talk about the Blacks. 

So, when Sirius and Remus started being public, you would have thought that the students would have yelled at the scandal, the papers would have reported the news, howlers would have been sent to them, calling them all sorts of names. 

Instead, the only thing they got in return was a good load of support. Obviously not everyone was thrilled by the news, but mostly they were left alone. 

The effect they got on all of Hogwarts was the most optimistic they could have hoped for: queer couples started pooping out from every angle. Lesbians, non-bianries, gays, polycules, asexuals and any kind of non Heterosexual pairing started to freely roam the halls of the castle, even some very unexpected ones (Sirius almost snapped his neck to do a double take when he saw Avery and Mulciber making out in an empty classroom).

All in all, it was good, thrilling even, that they could live their relationship freely. 

So they just behaved as they thought the most fitting: Remus wasn’t big on PDA, and Sirius was extremely jealous, so he liked to have the most romantic and private parts of Remus (like what he looked like drunk on kisses) all for himself, that meant that the boys would not make these grand public gestures à la James Potter. 

Obviously they were both very territorial, so it was hard to see them detached one from the other, they would always have to be touching in some way: a hand on a knee, hands holding while walking, pinkies intertwined while eating… things like that. 

But the absolute biggest change that this relationship brought in Hogwarts, was seeing Sirius Black in the Hogwarts Library. The boy deemed everything the regarded studying or revising dumb and useless, he would get top marks without ever touching a book (a thing that made Remus both swell with pride and burn in jealousy), but since those two got together, in the farthest corner of the library, in the most secluded table, near the tallest window, besides the painting of the dancing foxes, you could see two boys, one hunched over a book, the other just looking at him, with their hands locked on the table, chocolate wrappings all around them and, if you squint hard enough, little hearts floating all around them.

[n0eyed-taissa]

yellowjackets season 3 trailer takeaways/theories/observations/questions:

time jump: season 2 was firmly set in the winter and it looks like the bulk of 3 will be set in the spring (with some flashes to the Deep Winter)

how much time has passed & how did they manage to comfortably survive post-fire?

i think this time jump & whatever happened during the in-between time will explain how and why the girls seem much more deranged than they did.

they gave in to desperation and its circumstances, so nothing is really 'taboo' anymore. gimme scary evil cannibal lesbians pls

even shauna's narration references the fact that the girls "went completely nuts" out there

allusions to The Hunt: while i know most folks think mari has always been Pit Girl, i think her running in the trailer is a red herring.

this WILL, however, be what sets up the hunt and its rules/functions/the course

(because to ME, it has always looked like a cleared/intentionally set path, with s1ep1 showing their hand-made adornments hanging from the surrounding trees )

mari is 100% wearing the dress/nightgown that s1ep1 Pit Girl is.

tiktok fans have been theorizing that perhaps based on the rules of the hunt, mari will survive whatever the hell is about to happen to her while still later meeting Pit Girl's fate in the winter, but who's to say

"cant believe we didnt eat that bitch first" - says the one with the big brown eyes like a baby mf cow. she just wants to snack on her friends!

(y'all saw that part where shauna is biting and restraining mari, right?)

power struggle: it looks like there are going to be factions splitting up, or the girls will continue to show alliance to a particular 'leader'

van, misty, mari, akilah, and either New Gen or robin? potentially in support of lottie's leadership and connection to the wilderness?

them vs Everyone Else, who seems more focused on practical survival

coach ben seeing the snare trap and probably wondering if it was for a person or for an animal

(i didnt know what a snare was so i truly needed to google 'animal trap that looks like a n**se but isnt. sue me!)

shauna locking herself in a freezer because it was the only way she could talk to jackie. putting yourself into dangerous situations in hopes of manifesting the ghost of your lover? okay bella swan in new moon!

jackieshauna being connected by coldness, both emotionally and physically.

from the meat shed to the freezer, jackie taylor's ghost will never escape the ethel cain parallels!

theres probably someone out there in the world who wants to smash the man with no eyes, huh.........dont answer that actually.

taissa's grown out hair makes little tiny magical hearts float all around my head. wow. just wow.

are the yellowjackets going on a field trip in the wilderness together? where tf is natalie and did she find coach ben's hidey hole?

the envelope being addressed to shauna shipman and not shauna sadecki makes me think its from a person with ties to the wilderness, pushing the secret 8th survivor theory (perhaps hilary swank as adult Melissa CoolHat)

i WANT this ritual scene to be another dream-like allegory for them enjoying their descent.

if the snackie feast was the roman bacchanal, the political split between the girls and the power imablance could be going into a julius cesar-y territory? especially with the mistyshauna stabbing?

misty exploring someplace that looks like the one from lottie's visions? someone is on trial? natlie isnt in charge anymore?! walter has a mustache now?!!!!

van's new fixation on the fire, alluding to the idea that she could have been the one to burn down the cabin??? to quote you, girl, "REALLY? fire?!"

shauna with her knife to melissa's throat....is something gay happening there?

this creepy little song is really giving me the vibe that everything will NOT be okay!!!

in summation: women can be a little evil, as a treat!

[burning-omen]

Birthday Present

Miguel O’Hara x Male!reader

(A/n: Birthday present for my best homie cuz I love its gay ass- you know who you are. Also this is a day late but shut up)

Summary: You and Miguel celebrate your birthday

Warning⚠️: sub!Miguel, Dom!Male!reader, Miguel being nervous but also extremely submissive and obedient, edging, overstim, dacryphilia, handjob, anal, biting, marking, creampie, pwp, friend to lovers(???), not beta read

You enjoyed portals- which was a statement you would have been severely confused by several months ago. But ever since you joined the ever growing Spider-society, you've become very well acquainted with portals. You spent the majority of your down time in the Spider HQ, usually bothering Miguel until it was time for you to go patrolling again.

Today was different- today, you decided to take a little more time off that usually- the Daredevil of your universe taking over for you as a gift- a birthday gift.

While most people would be spending their birthday with friends and family- you decided to spend it with your fellow spider people.

You watch beeped as you landed- the portal closed behind you the second you were out of it. You ran into various Spider-people along the way, they have you various greeting, some wishing you a happy birthday- others just gave you a curt nod before moving on.

You didn't stick around any of them too long- b lining for Miguel’s office.

When you entered you could see him watching the screens- as always.

“Miguel!” you said with a smile.

His back was facing but you could see his head turn slightly as he glanced at you over his shoulder. In a moment- nearly every visible screen was cleared, a few still displayed the connections between timelines and whatnot- but most were just empty yellow screens.

“Y/n..” he responded, his voice quiet, tapping his claws against the desk. Lyla floated near his shoulder, only for her tiny form to disappear when she turned to you.

You step forward with caution.

“Miguel, are you okay?” you asked, placing a gental hand on his back, sliding it up towards his shoulder in an attempt at reassurance.

A moment passed- very still, and very quiet. You stood there with him for a moment.

After a few seconds, he broke the growing silence.

“I..have something for you.”

His voice was still quiet, his claws ever so slightly digging into his desk as your hand slid from his shoulder to the center of his back- you could feel his heart pounding against your hand, unwavering, but far to quick.

He finally turned to you, his face warm with a red blush- just as quickly as he turned to you, he looked away.

“It's not here..” he muttered, clearing his throat a bit before continuing, “…you can have it later.”

That was all he said about it- at least for the moment. You continued on like any other day- rambling Miguel’s ear off, telling him stories, joking, and flirting as you always did.

It wasn’t until night fell, when HQ was practically empty, that he brought it up again. You’d hardly noticed the how late it was until LYLA abruptly- and rather aggressively, reminded Miguel of his gift.

Miguel, as though a switch had been flipped, reverted back to the unusual flustered state he was in earlier. Despite the change, he thanked LYLA with a glare. Signaling for you to follow him, and you did. The walk from Miguel’s office felt oddly long- and for a moment you felt as though you were walking in circles, but eventually you made it to an exit high enough for the two of your to swing from.

Swinging through Miguel’s universe was always an exhilarating experience- though you’ve only done it a couple of times- you always notice something new about his universe. Not only was it an entirely different universe than yours, but it was decades in the future as well, making it infinitely more interesting.

You didn’t know where you were going, you followed closely behind Miguel, matching every one of his swings with your own until you landed on the high balcony of a large apartment building.

“This is my home..” he said, sliding the balcony door open and stepping inside.

You followed with a bit of hesitation, glancing back at the night sky behind you before entering.

For a reason you couldn’t explain, you didn’t expect his house to be…nice. You knew he had practically thrown his entire soul into being Spider-Man, so seeing that his house was not only fully furnished- but nicely decorated as well was a bit of a surprise.

You wandered through his apartment, hardly even realizing he was gone- nearly fascinated with all the little things he had around.

You didn’t realize he wasn’t with you anymore until you looked away from a rather confusing painting hanging on the wall, trying to ask him what the actual hell it was, only to realize that you were alone.

“Miguel..?” You called.

The lights in the house were dimmed, something you admired about the house, you figured Miguel had the heightened senses that all the other Spider-People, including yourself, had. Making your way through the house, calling out the Miguel every so often, checking each and every room until you found him.

He was again facing away from you, his suit was gone, replaced only by a pair of grey pants that hung dangerously low on his waist.

Just like before, in HQ, you took a few steps forward, placing your hand on his lower back, feeling just how hot his bare skin was beneath your fingers. Before you could ask if he was alright he turned to you, your hand sliding across his skin as he did, resting now on his waist- an action that was only furthered the deep fluster that Miguel felt.

“Y/n, I-“ he started, his eyes looking everywhere but into yours as he tried to find the right words. “I have a gift for you- I just don’t know if you want it.”

And as he moved closer into your space, his breathing ragged, cheeks red, and body hardly clothed -inching closer to yours, you finally got it.

Miguel seemingly took your realization as the green light to go ahead, pressing his body against yours, his hands finding the mask you barely registered wearing and pulling it off, you have no idea where it ended up after because the moment it was gone Miguel’s lips were against yours and the heat from his body was quickly spreading to yours.

One sweet kiss quickly turned to heavy panting, and messy, almost biting kisses- you've never been so aware of his fangs until they caught onto your bottom lip. His hands found their way into your suit resting at your sides as Miguel tried to think of something the do with them. To him you had it all worked out, one hand on his waist while the other stroked his cock through his pants- his mind clouded as his arousal grew- letting out a long whine against your lips.

Leading the man backwards onto the perfectly made bed behind him, laying him on his back, taking a moment to enjoy his mildly disheveled form and the growing tent in his pants.

Loud whimpers and whines filled the room as you continued to prod at Miguel's body, running your hands over his massive pecs, letting the muscles rest in your hand before giving his nipple a tight pinch, making his entire body shudder beneath you. Running your hand down his stomach until you were low enough to hook your fingers in the waistband of his pants- yanking them down with one hard pull.

Exposed and leaking pre-cum from the tip of his cock, Miguel tried to squeeze his legs together in a desperate attempt at modesty. It didn't last long, placing one hand on each thigh, forcing them farther apart than they had been before.

Leaning down, using your arm to support yourself as you whispered in his ear,

“Be a good boy and sit still for me, Miguel.”

He let out a short noise, you took it as a ‘okay’.

He didn't move, letting his leg lay wide open- giving you more than enough space to prep the man.

And despite the fact that he looked so beautiful beneath you, fully submitting to your every will, you were still going to tease him- at least a little bit.

Moving to his thighs, pressing your lips against them, leaving marks and bruises as you worked from one thigh to the next, watching him struggle to keep his hips from bucking up against you- trying so hard to follow orders. Then, as a way to test the waters, your kisses turned to bites. You didn't bite him particularly hard, it was hardly enough to hurt. He gasped hard, his body shook, and you could physically see him resist the urge to snap his legs shut, thighs straining as he forced them to start open.

“You like that? Do you like it when I bite you”

He opened his mouth to respond- but all that came out was a strangled whine- he nodded rapidly.

You kept going, biting his thighs, his chest, all the way up to his neck, all while ignoring his cock. Glancing down you watched as pre-cum beaded at the tip before sliding down his shaft.

When you looked back up at Miguel, he was looking at you, deep red eyes pleading with you as he whined out a small, “please.”

And for a moment you did consider giving him whatever he wanted, he was being perfectly obedient and he was such a beautiful gift. But then again it was your gift- and you could do whatever you wanted with your gift.

Wrapping your hand around his cock, a sigh escaping from him, you stroked his cock ever so gently. Up and down, watching him revel in the stimulation. But as more time passed his contempt turned to desperation as you kept the slow, teasing pace, never speeding up despite his begging and pleading and the tremor in his hips and his hands clawing at the bed in frustration.

“What's wrong, honey?” You asked.

He glared up at you, but his voice didn't match the harsh look he gave you, “Faster, please-” he groaned through gritted teeth.

You seemingly ignored him, still stroking him at the same slow pace.

His frustration grew, even as his orgasm grew closer and closer. Looking up at you with full intent on giving you the harshest, meanest glare he could muster, but the moment his eyes met yours you seemed to finally acknowledge his words from before. Without a moment's warning you sped up- and while he moaned and screamed and spasmed beneath you, you still kept the near-neutral face you had when you'd set the slow, deliberate pace from before.

“I-I’m so close, y/n- pleasepleaseplease-”

His breathing became ragged and his claws dug into the mattress and a stream of thanks and praises left him, then finally-

-nothing.

Your hands were off his body and a short laugh left you as he whined in disapproval. Coming down from his impending high- all that build up for nothing- leaving him far more frustrated and far more desperate.

And he begged, loud and shameless, pleading with you, asking you wky you had stopped, grinding his cock against the open air in a desperate attempt at friction.

Then, as though you had never stopped, you started again, starting at the brutally fast pace as before.

Panting and trying his hardest to convince you to let him cum this time. His words jumbled into a frenzied mess of noise.

He tried to hide when he was close. It had snuck up on him so fast and he hoped he could he could fool you into letting him finish.

But you stopped again- like you were fucking psychic- like you had and 7th sense telling you when he was close. Miguel growled out various swears but didn't try to convince you again, he knew you'd draw this out for as long as you could.

You did it two more times, getting him so close to the edge, then stopping just seconds before he could cum. It was torture, his body was overly sensitive, he felt as though every touch had been amplified by a thousand. Tears streamed down his face as you edged him for what felt like the hundredth time.

He could feel himself getting closer- again. He prepared himself for disappointment- for you to stop and laugh, and coo at him as he came down. But you didn't stop, you sped up, you hand squeezing around his cock. Broken gasps and moan falling from his lips as waves of overly intense pleasure washed over him. His body spawned and shuddered as he came- his hips bucking wildly into your hand as cum shot out from his cock- making a mess of hiss stomach and your hand.

Everything felt so intense, your hand, now unmoving felt overwhelming, and even the dimmed lights of the room felt too bright as he came down.

He didn't speak, he didn't know if he could. His brain fogged and his body was burning hot.

You let him calm down, letting his mind clear at least a little bit- you didn't mind just sitting and admiring him for a moment. He looked so pretty, covered in cum, sweat, and tears, trying to keep his grip on reality and consciousness.

“Y/n-” he whined, his eyelids hanging dangerously low.

“C'mon Miguel, we're not done yet.”

His eyes widened, looking up at you as you finally began taking off your suit. Seeing the massive tent in your pants he couldn't help but get excited. He soon found that massive might have been an understatement when you finally got rid of your pants. He breath hitched in his throat when he saw your cock- and for a moment, he worried about pain- about you having to make yourself fit inside him.

In a moment of clarity mixed with an unprecedented amount of lust- he realized that he wanted that- all the worry he felt about being in pain dissipating and exhilaration taking it's place. He wanted you to make it hurt, and he wanted to be forced to stretch around you, he wanted to be full of you- and even though he felt like his skin was burning with how sensitive he was, he couldn't wait for more.

You prodded his lips with two fingers- you didn't even need to tell him what to do before he opened his mouth, sucking your fingers in and lapping at them with his tongue, tasting himself on your fingers.

“Open.” you said, and he did, letting go of your fingers and looking up at you for more orders.

Lifting his thick thigh up onto your shoulder to give you more access to his hole. Looking back at him, his mouth hanging open as he panted, and whined.

Circling his hole with your fingers, watching him tense up before relaxing a second later.

“You ready?” you asked calmly.

“Please-”

Her barely gotten his response out before you shoved both of you fingers into his hole, pressing in- knuckle deep. Miguel gasped at the slight stretch, but he quickly grew used to it.

Pulling out to just the tip of your fingers then slamming back in, his legs twitched. You spread your fingers apart inside him, he hissed, grinding his hips down against your hand.

You fingered him hastily- it was almost funny how quickly he was coming apart just from two fingers. He whined and moaned out your name, loud enough that you just knew his neighbors could hear him.

Then, just like before, you stopped suddenly- and he didn't think he could do this again, he couldn't go through another hour of relentless teasing-

“I think that's enough, don't you?” you asked, smirking.

He looked up at you, confused.

It took him a moment to get it- but once he saw you lining up your cock with his hole it clicked into place.

“Yes- yes, please- ah- fuck- I need you to-“ He begged, his words broken by moans but you understood him clearly.

Pressing the tip of your cock into his hole, feeling it squeeze around you.

“Fuck-“ he panted, “-fuck me, please- please, Y/n, I-“

You didn’t need to be told twice, thrusting your entire length in one swift motion. His walls tightened around you and you savored the intense pleasure that it brought. His head had fallen back against the bed, eyes screwed shut and and mouth hanging open as a long moan emitted from his throat.

His cock spurred out cum, dribbling down his cock and pooling at his stomach, and still, having just cum again and being stuffed full, he tried to grind against you.

“Miguel-“ you breathed out.

He only whined in response.

You pulled out until only about half your cock rested inside of him before slamming back in. He sobbed as a new wave of tears streamed down his face. You felt so good but it was overwhelming, stinging and burning him from the inside out.

With one hand on his waist and the other on his thigh, you have a few more teasing thrust before setting bruising pace.

Poor Miguel felt like he was breaking, mentally and physically as you slammed into him again and again, hitting his prostate with every thrust. His thoughts were a mess and any possibility of him stringing together a coherent thought was long gone.

Clawing at the bed beneath him, tearing holes in both the sheets and the mattress with his claws, something that he’d be deeply embarrassed by later.

“More-“ he moaned- and you obliged.

His arms wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you down to him, pressing his lips against yours for a moment then burying his face in your neck, he clawed out your back, his claws retracted but his nail still drawing blood. His fangs extremely close to your neck as he panted.

His cock was pressed between both your stomachs, constantly being stimulated as you thrusted into him.

It’s didn’t take long for him to cum again, cum dripping slowly out of his cock- his eyes rolled to the back of his head. He bit down on your shoulder without warning, not to hunt you, or even to silence the onslaught of practically screaming moans coming from him, but to brace himself as a pain filled orgasm washed over him, his nerves screaming with pain at the overwhelming amount of stimulation.

Pressing both hands on your chest, his voice horse, straining as he tried to get out a single sentence.

“Y/n please- I can’t- please slow down-“

And you could here him loud and clear- and you understood, you could hear the pain underlying his tone. But you didn’t stop- instead, you sped up, chasing your release as fast as you physically could. And yes, you were putting him in more pain, but it was faster- and it would be over sooner.

It didn’t take long, between him clawing at you, moaning the way that he does, and his body, tight and quivering around you, you didn’t stand a chance.

You pulled out slowly, watching your own cum flow out of his abused hole.

Looking up a him you could see relief wash over him- he finally relaxed. Going limp against the bed. You brushed a few stray stands of hair out of his face, he hummed in content, letting his heart finally rest at a steady pace.

“You okay?”

“Mhmm.”

“You want some water?”

“Mhmm.”

By the time you navigated to the kitchen and back he was asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~

He figured you’d be gone when he woke up- he was beyond exhausted and wouldn’t be good company if he was asleep, and you had your own universe to get back to.

He woke up sometime in the after noon, rolling over in his bed, feeling throughly sore. Opening his eyes he saw you looking down at him. You were sitting up against the headboard, having borrowed some of his clothes, phone in hand.

He could see the sun shining dimly through the window.

“You missed your meeting.” You said, moving one hand to run through his hair.

“I figured.” His throat hurt and his voice was a bit horse, but he should have expected that, “what time is it?”

“About 6:30 pm.”

He groaned into his pillow, but didn’t say anything else for a long moment. A few minute passed and he considered drifting back to sleep, instead, he asked,

“Why are you still here?”

You stopped whatever you were doing on you phone, but didn’t look away from it.

“You want me to leave?”

“No- no, I’m just surprised that you stayed.”

You laughed, dropping you phone against you chest, staring down at him.

“Miguel I’ve literally been trying to fuck you since I joined the Spider-Society, do you really think I’m just going to leave after- I’m emotionally invested now.”

“So-“ he groaned as he forced himself to sit up, “what I’m hearing is that you like me.”

You adjusted yourself in the bed.

“Yeah just- don’t say it like that it makes us sound like middle schoolers.”

“Whatever you say..”

(please tell me of y'all see some mistakes I did NOT re-read this lol)

[dabiconcordia]

I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud

I wandered lonely as a cloud That floats on high o'er vales and hills, When all at once I saw a crowd, A host, of golden daffodils; Beside the lake, beneath the trees, Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine And twinkle on the milky way, They stretched in never-ending line Along the margin of a bay: Ten thousand saw I at a glance, Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they Out-did the sparkling leaves in glee; A poet could not be but gay, In such a jocund company! I gazed—and gazed—but little thought What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie In vacant or in pensive mood, They flash upon that inward eye Which is the bliss of solitude; And then my heart with pleasure fills, And dances with the daffodils. by William Wordsworth

[iinryer]

tagged for a 2024 fic roundup by @annoyingcloudearthquake, @pelorsdyke, & @reyesstrand! tysm! this is so wild to see all written out like this. apparently i was afflicted by an unfortunate case of the gay firefighters. again.

APRIL

—under the bridge

[2.5k words | rated g | s7 eddie & maddie coda]

Looking back up, Eddie frowns slightly when Chris reenters the living room. Trailing behind him is…

Jee-Yun?

“We have visitors,” Chris says, grinning down at her as she steps forward to wrap her little hand around the middle segment of his crutch, like she’s instinctively reaching out to hold his hand while she looks around the new space with wide, inquisitive eyes

He’s overcome by so much fondness for that tiny gesture, he nearly misses Maddie following in a few moments behind her.

“Hi Eddie,” she greets brightly, lifting a reusable tote above Jee’s head for him to see, “Hope this isn’t a bad time? We just wanted to swing by and drop off some get-well-soon goodies,”

(or: maddie and eddie have a heart to heart after the basketball incident. a 7x04 coda fic)

—feels so real, must be fake

[5k words | rated t | post-bucktommy date spec]

But the only words he can find are, “I didn’t—I didn’t know…,”

Tommy seems to see him getting lost, and says, “Know what? Know that your opening day playing for the other team might be overwhelming? Or that it would get crashed by your coworker? Or even that you might feel some kind of way about it?” he smiles, easy as anything, and teases kindly, “I don’t see how you could’ve known any of that,”

Buck lets out an exhale in a rush, ducking his head, helpless to stop the beginnings of a bashful smile from peeking through, and makes himself peer back up, “Yeah, I—I guess so,”

“Well I know so,” Tommy says, eyebrows doing a very pointed lift, before breaking out into that light grin again, “You couldn’t have, and neither could I. That’s kind of how life works,”

(spec-adjacent fic based on the date crashing of the 7x05 promo)

—still the only thing, everything

[10.6k words | rated g | post-lightning buddie]

It should scare him, Buck thinks. Probably.

With the infrequency of it here, less opportunities to get used to it again. It should.

But another flash of bright cold light demands attention outside his windowed wall, the bass-y roll of thunder rumbling and echoing through the loft, skittering over him like waves…

And all Buck can think about is how much it doesn’t.

It doesn’t scare him.

(the next time it storms in la, buck thinks about fear, grief, and lightning. eddie drops by.)

MAY

—oh, how dare me

[2.2k words | rated g | s7 eddie coda]

So here he is, camping out by himself. Breathing. Thinking. Eyes closed, head tilted back against the wall, floating in this little moment of calm he’s carved out for himself.

It’s the laughter that catches Eddie’s attention. Familiar and drawing nearer, until he can make out what the voices are saying.

(eddie catches a quiet moment between buck and tommy after the hospital room wedding. it makes him feel some unexpected things. a 7x06 coda fic)

SEPTEMBER

—rules of engagement

[540 words | rated g | buddie prompt]

“PDA!” Chimney shouts, head in the cabinet where he’s rummaging around, before emerging with a jar of peanut butter and continuing, “PDA is what you did!”

Hen makes a dramatic tsk tsk tsk sound, putting on an air of aloofness and pretending as though she’s already returned to reading her book when she adds, “We did have an agreement,”

“The agreement!,” Chimney echoes, clenching a fist theatrically, “is nothing sacred in this house?”

(single scene fic for the prompt: 😳🤝🫠 + hiding face in neck)

—carry you, carry you

[790 words | rated g | buddie prompt]

“Come on, Buck,” Eddie grits out, as loudly as he can to be heard past the mask over his face and the roar of the flames a few floors above them, “come on, four more flights, we can do it,”

Buck just lets out a pained laugh, tightening his hold across Eddie’s shoulders—he’s been losing his footing more frequently and Eddie’s getting increasingly worried that they’re not going to make it to the ground level.

(single scene fic for the prompt: piggy back ride + leaning on the other for support)

—warm citrus

[760 words | rated g | nancymarjan prompt]

“Do I even want to know?”

Marjan watches in amusement as Nancy startles at her voice, popping upright from where she’d been sitting alone in the station kitchen with her forehead pressed to the countertop.

Seeing Nancy’s disgruntled face has Marjan putting a pin in grabbing her leftover smoothie from the fridge, and detouring to the espresso machine instead. Nancy settles again, slouching on her stool.

(single scene fic for the prompt: 🙄🌇☕️ + running fingers thru hair)

OCTOBER

—(de)tour

[1.1k words | rated g | buddie prompt]

“Hey,” just ahead of him on the path, Eddie gestures up towards a trail sign. He turns back over his shoulder, the perfect picture of composure and nonchalance, and asks, “did you want to take a water break at the next lookout?”

And Buck feels his hold on himself slip like a misstep on a rocky path.

He can’t wait.

“Can—Can we talk about it yet?” he blurts out in a rush, tripping over his own words, tumbling and skittering like gravel down the incline, “I—I know you don’t want to but it’s—Eddie. I really think we need to talk about it,”

Eddie goes completely still.

(single scene fic for the prompt: 🥾🌲😭 + touching foreheads)

DECEMBER

—be enough

[1.1k words | rated g | hotshots prompt]

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Teddy looks up from the glass she’s pouring, blinks at Chuck, blinks again, and says, “What,”

Chuck blinks back at her, stalling out like they’re playing back what they said, before suddenly snorting into their drink and having to hold a hand under their chin to save their shirt from falling victim to rogue rosé.

Teddy watches them fondly, raising her brow and waiting for Chuck to try again.

(single scene fic for the prompt: 📚😁🥂 + cheddy + spooning at night)

—seen / found

[1k words | rated g | buddie prompt]

The muffled, scraping sound of a key in the lock is what finally catches his attention.

Buck can’t even find it in himself to react. He’s nauseous and in so much pain that, at this point, embarrassment isn’t even close to being on the menu. He can’t go anywhere anyway, so he simply waits to be found.

It’s Eddie, because of course it’s Eddie.

(single scene fic for the prompt: 🛋️🔑💭 + grabbing onto their arm)

HONORABLE MENTIONS

aka shit i worked on this year but haven’t finished:

vanessa calls back (eddie/vanessa beards fic), eddie sees ghosts fic, failed threesome fic, 710 missing scene, coma dream sequence, eddie’s no good very bad decision, marjan manifesto (in uncertain terms), self indulgent boxing fic, s5 reunion dinner fic, chris comes home too soon fic, s4 carlos coda fic, nsfw fic that still makes me feel embarrassed, inflicting buddie unto buddie fic

—

tagging @gayeddieagenda @try-set-me-on-fire @colonoscopys @bigfootsmom @butchdiaz !

[butterflywithsass]

Watched Dead Boy Detectives last night and I’m obsessed. If you like the queerness of good omens, but with more gore, and in the same universe as the Sandman (death and despair both show up) if you like dark academia gay boys, if you like ghosts, or paranormal stuff, or demons, if you like cats — lemme tell you this show is for you.

So, like, there’s these two ghost boys who are best friends but also gay for each other but also a secret third thing and their names are Edwin and Charles.

Edwin Payne was a demonic sacrifice in 1916 and as spend literal decades in hell but escaped. He’s a repressed Victorian gay who has zero charisma but every single man he meets becomes obsessed with him and wants to sleep with him except the boy he actually likes which is his best friend Charles. His entire character arc is about gay panic and getting over his internalized homophobia — he wears bow ties!!!! He doesn’t know what a hand job is. He’s literally the perfect tumblr blorbo. His superpower is getting tortured. He’s so sassy! His sexual awakening comes at the hands of a cat king and his first kiss is with a crow.

Charles died in like the 90s or something I’m not sure. He’s so optimistic and sunshine but also so full of rage. He’s the most supportive guy 100/10 would trust him with anything. He doesn’t like to talk about his issues. When confronted with the inexorable monsters of hell he solved the problem with a Molotov cocktail. I love him and his single earring he’s a golden retriever who would rather stay on earth with best friend than move on to a peaceful afterlife. His jawline is impeccable he can’t not press a big red button when he sees it.

Crystal Palace I wasn’t sold on because I thought she’d get between my boys but she actually so cool and I developed a bit of a crush let’s be honest I have a thing for curly haired witchy girls, she’s a physic with amnesia and a demon stalker ex boyfriend people stare at her when she hangs out with the boys cause it looks like she’s talking to herself. Everyone she knows thinks she’s insane. She’s a reformed mean girl.

Niko Sisaki I was a little iffy about because it felt like they were gonna go with the bimbo anime Asian girl but turns out she just had a parasite that made pink hearts float around her. She’s so weird she tries to help Edwin with his gay problem by introducing him to explicit gay fan fiction, she tries to get her landlord to date, she likes cool rocks. She has two tiny people trapped in a jar in her room. Her friendship with Edwin is everything. She’s ghosting her mom.

Jenny. I love her so much, she feels so safe which is weird because she chops meat and all her clothes are covered in blood. Everything about just screams big sister and her character arc is learning to embrace that. She goes on one date and almost gets murdered.

Monty. He’s literally a crow turned into a boy. He’s down bad for Edwin. He’s a secret honeypot agent for an evil witch. He has the most adorable smile, the whole time I was expecting him to be an agent of Morpheus. He’s obsessed with astrology.

The Night nurse originally annoyed me a bit (in a good way) I just wanted to get rid of her. When Charles punted her into a giant sea monster I clapped. Then it just got weird and I love it.

The cat king. He’s such a creep, but honestly, I love that for him. He has some of the best lines and he just exudes cat. He’s a classic fairy tale trickster, he a nuisance for the whole season, he’s central to the plot, he’s constantly hitting on Edwin.

Esther. She’s a archetypal evil witch. She gives off mystic trash vibes. She’s obsessed with beauty and revenge. She’s shamelessly horrible. She feeds kids to her giant snake. She literally can’t die.

All in all, I think I’m gonna have brain rot over this for the next year, go and watch it.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

2024 Era (2) Masterlist

part one

Blonde (ao3) - philforscale

Summary: Phil went blonde. Dan loves it.

cornetto and a hot chocolate (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: a cute little stolen moment shared on a tour break 💙

Dan & Phil 2024 (ao3) - VPofPanic

Summary: This is a ficlet written for the prompt "Dan & Phil 2024" from the Phinktober 2024 challenge.

It covers the first three months of 2024 with a focus on one video/event per month:

1) January: Viewers Pick My Birthday Presents 2024

2) February: Reacting to My TERRIBLE Acting

3) March: Keeping or Yeeting My Entire Closet with Dan!

Date Night (ao3) - achromatic__sky

Summary: Playing a game made for couples on the channel is not really a big deal is it ?

And yet as they wrap up filming like any other night, with the tour coming up in only a few days, Dan finds himself doubting everything once again.

Date night, or Dan is having a mild freak out about Terrible Influence and Phil is there to comfort him.

Duneussy (and other ways to say I love you) (ao3) - Lesbianphan

Summary: A companion piece to Gentle. Dan's thoughts after his 33rd birthday livestream on DanandPhilGAMES, featuring the Dune bucket

dreaming of you (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: “and now I’m dreaming, dreaming, dreaming, dreaming, dreaming of you” - cigarettes after sex

Fall in love again and again (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: An evening, right before tour. Phil thinks about feeling lucky and different ways to take care of someone.

Float (ao3) - Aliquis

Summary: Dan's a professional, after all, and this is his job. Just another day at the office in front of hundreds of their grown-up fans whose expectations exited the stratosphere somewhere between his last two posts on socials. Fuck.

french toast, again (ao3) - buskingalbatross

Summary: Dan's ice cream shop dream, sort of. Not really.

Go out with a bang as it were (ao3) - natigail

Summary: The cursor was mocking Dan as he was trying to work on his Terrible Influence Tour script and he kept getting distracted thinking about his life with Phil and the relationship with their audience. Until Phil showed up with water, stole his laptop, made him faint and promised to love him for 100 years.

heart skipped a beat (ao3) - starryfaced

Summary: Dan and Phil have a day to spare in Stockholm - cue the seals and the meese, it's time to go to the zoo!

I have to tell you something (ao3) - solarpower21

Summary: Dan confesses he was the one behind the PhilsLion account.

In our garden (ao3) - trashcanfromgallifrey

Summary: The boys spend a warm summer afternoon in their garden together<3

liquorice ice cream (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan and Phil go on a date to the zoo.

(Snapshots of their Swedish zoo date, September 2024. This fic is free from TIT show spoilers!)

not a lot, just forever (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: working through the feels post-hospital incident ❤️‍🩹

One and Only (ao3) - clcprint

Summary: dan meets a new phil and his phil gets jealous.

or

phil loses the idgaf war

Phome is where the heart is (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: dan and phil go shopping at target while in Seattle for tit. they’re feeling festive for the season and a little sappy bc, well, duh 🧡

Phouse Chores (ao3) - SpiritsDJH

Summary: Very loosely based off of the chore segment of the preshow at TIT.

pizza & packing (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: dan and phil eat pizza and pack for their trip. they might love each other a little bit

Precious baby angel (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: Dan and Phil buy matching precious baby angel shirts because they’re gay and in love. Dan shows Phil how much he likes the shirt on his angel 💖

Precious Baby Angel (ao3) - toadsappho

Summary: Phil shows Dan his new t-shirt, but that's not the only surprise he has for him.

Proxy Requests (ao3) - philsmeatylegss

Summary: A story about poop and fear (unrelated)

Sheets and sharpies (ao3) - wwoodles

Summary: “Are you going to be good for me?”

He hovered above Dan’s face, awaiting his response. Dan was always taken aback that Phil had this power in him. The ability to completely disarm him.

“Yes, Father.”

Or, in the moments after the end of Dan’s birthday stream, Dan is not only incredibly grateful for Phil, but also incredibly horny.

Side By Side (ao3) - SpiritsDJH

Summary: Dan and Phil, reeling in all the feelings of tour, and finally being able tour the world together again.

silent and sure, keeping watch in the night (ao3) - gaydreaming

Summary: Phil has always loved being on tour. The adventure, the sounds of the tour bus, the way his quality time with Dan takes on a different shape. On the road between Oslo and Helsinki, he sees some beautiful stars through the bus window and wakes Dan up in the middle of the night to enjoy them with him.

Spa night (ao3) - philsbignaturals

Summary: In which Phil gives Dan a nice pampering set for his birthday that's big enough for two.

Spearmint & Espresso (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: Scents (and cuddles) can be healing ☕️🫧

Stolen Sweets (ao3) - e_5456, Frog910

Summary: Phil's sweet tooth strikes again

sunkissed (ao3) - ivylakes

Summary: Maybe Phil was made to pour warmth into this man and leave little marks all over his body the way the sun does when it covers his skin with freckles. Maybe everything they’ve ever done and every little way they’ve loved each other has culminated in this very moment, where they can hardly see each other in the low light but are still brighter than the yellow light that breaks through the sky and glitters on the ocean.

Or, Dan and Phil go on holiday, and every photo they take tells a story.

Sweet Haribo (ao3) - dprkives

Summary: Phil says corny shit to Dan while he’s high on fentanyl at the hospital

switch it up (don’t stop) (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: post workout activities wink wink

Through Sickness and In Health (ao3) - Mysticallykai

Summary: After Phil's hospital stay and their vacation, Dan and Phil try to fall back into their routine. Though it's hard to go back to normal when your normal has changed so suddenly. How will the significant health scare affect Dan and Phil even weeks after it's over?

tweet and retweet (ao3) - gesticulationbubble

Summary: Dan wakes up to a 'surprise on twitter' discovered by Phil. Knowing the Phandom, he guesses he's in for a treat.

Or the August 1st/2nd 2024 Incident, retold.

wear no disguise for me (ao3) - lesbaurinkos (pluginbaby)

Summary: It’s not exactly jealousy, Phil doesn’t think. Not– exactly. But he’s feeling petulant and selfish and maybe like he wants to be a little mean about this… not-Phil. This Phil who doesn’t know the half of what it means to be half of Dan.

(or: dan made a new friend called phil. am i a joke to you)

When you're in the mirror, you're just looking at me (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: A morning, in a hotel during the tour. Dan thinks about tours past and present.

Where it began (ao3) - Frog910

Summary: Dan and Phil are thinking back to how things started

you will be (the death of me) (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: “I wanna play the game, I want the friction

You will be the death of me”

- Muse (Time is Running Out)

[hazyange1s]

Ominis Gaunt Headcanons

I’m honored some people seemed to vibe with my Sebastian post 🥹 so of COURSE I had to compile a few things about the only blonde man with rights that I’ve come up with while writing/chatting on discord.

A very popular one that I basically accept as canon: he plays the piano and learned to from a young age. Sometimes, he even composes his own pieces (that he rarely shows to anyone).

He has a lovely white barn owl named after one of his favorite composers; Gabriel (Faurere)

Adopts one of the castle strays; a little black cat that goes by Phoebe.

Adores Earl Grey tea and drinks it every morning with LOADS of cream.

Sebastian often helps him with picking out clothes and shaving — even though Ominis insists he can do it by himself with magic.

Doesn’t like loud noises as he has very sensitive ears (his hearing is absolutely impeccable).

Because of his superhuman sense and perceptiveness, he can tell who’s walked into a room by the sound of their footsteps/breathing patterns alone.

Another popular one I’ve seen floating around: when he gets married, he chooses to take his spouse’s surname on the principle that he will not carry on the family name.

His birthday is January 9th, 1874. He’s a Capricorn sun, aquarius moon, virgo rising.

I totally support the gay HC. HOWEVER… I write him as pansexual; he doesn’t give a flying fuck what you got going on. If he connects with someone — that’s it.

Besides Marvolo (the eldest) he has two other siblings: another older brother (Silas) and an older sister (Cordelia).

Obviously we know he’s rubbish at Potions, but Ominis excels in Charms. He would love Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures more (as he finds flora and fauna quite soothing), if he wasn’t…

… a bit of a germophobe. does not like to get “dirty”.

Definitely an amazing gift giver. Somehow he always knows exactly what someone needs — even if he does spend more money than necessary sometimes.

Amortentia: the previously mentioned favorite tea, shoe polish/some other cleaning product, lavender, and his hair pomade.

Slytherin Prefect and Head Boy

Despite being proper and polite on most occasions, as we see after he finds us coming out of the Undercroft… Ominis has a vindictive side.

In fact, he’s blackmailed and verbally beaten down an array of horror-stricken students who dared to insult him or his friends. Sadly, this doesn’t help his “I’m not a dark wizard” case much.

But when it comes down to it, he’s a sensitive, poetic person with the biggest heart.

[carolperkinsexgirlfriend]

Steddie Upside-Down AU Part 114

Part 1 Part 113

It’s fully dark by the time they trundle into the trailer park. The sceneries nostalgic, almost. Steve at his side, his feet aching from too long upright, not another soul in sight. There’s no ash floating in the air, and no vines squirming on the ground, and the sky’s not an ominous red.

Will he ever be able to walk down this familiar stretch of street without thinking of that time?

He almost hopes not. Without the Upside-Down, when he and Steve ever come together like this?

Maybe it’s stupid, but he wants to hold onto those memories just as much as this one. They’re what got him here, holding Steve Harrington’s hand, floating past cloud nine and straight into the stratosphere.

His glasses are chock full of roses.

It’s a tragedy that he has to drop Steve’s hand to open and unlock the door, but he makes do.

Wayne’s on his recliner when they stumble through the door, holding a beer in one hand and the TV remote in the other. He glances away from the screen, double takes, then stares back, eyeing them both up and down with an eyebrow raised.

He takes a long, loud sip from his beer, then asks, “you boys have a fun night?”

Eddie glances at Steve, and it’s only then that he notices how disheveled they both must look. Steve’s lips are still swollen, and his hair’s fucked beyond repair. Steve’s eying Eddie in kind, making those same damning connections.

He looks worried around the edges, though, so Eddie does what he’s always done best: put on a show.

He turns to Wayne, hands planted on his hips and says, “Wayne, I’ve got something to tell you.” He reaches out, linking his hand with Steve’s once more. “I’m gay.”

Wayne snorts, coughing on his beer. It must burn because his eyes water as he gasps out, “you play too much, boy.” He wipes the overflow from his chin, glaring up at Eddie. “You finally figure your shit out?”

Eddie beams, squeezing Steve’s hand. “Stevie here figured it out for me.”

Wayne looks between them for a few seconds more before shrugging disinterestedly, says a flippant, “he’s my favorite son for a reason,” and then just turns back to the TV to continue flicking through channels.

And that’s it. That was all she wrote, and all that. The world just, keeps turning.

“Should we tell anyone?” Steve asks that night, curled up into his side the way he always is. “Besides Will?”

He pulls Steve closer, the fondness in his chest expanding to the point of pain. Will, who is a part of their fucked up little trio. Of course, they’ll tell him.

It might even help him come to terms with some things that were hard won, brutal battles for Eddie when he was Will’s age. Give the kid a little hope, and all that. Hope that there are partners better out there than Mike Wheeler, the turd.

Eddie hums, skimming his fingers up and down Steve’s arm. “Well, Wayne figured it out the minute he looked at us, that’s one down.” He holds up one finger before bringing it back to Steve’s arm and tapping it against it. “You told Carol, so that adds in her and Barb.” Fingers two and three, tap, tap.

“Jeff?”

“Oh, definitely Jeff.” Eddie raises a fourth finger, taps it once before unlocking his thumb so he can clutch Steve’s hand. He pulls it up to his own chest, pressing it to the beating of his heart. “He wants me to tell him about the Upside-Down.”

Steve’s quiet, and it’s too dark to read his face no matter how hard Eddie strains his eyes.

“Do you think I should?”

Steve sighs, digging his pointy chin into Eddie’s shoulder. “I don’t know, man.”

“Man,” Eddie cuts in, mockingly. “Your tongue was in my mouth like, ten minutes ago.”

Eddie’s body shakes with Steve’s quiet laughter. “Fine, whatever,” he huffs. “It’s not up to me, Loverboy.”

The nicknames got that same mocking edge Eddie himself had used. It still makes his heartbeat stutter in his chest.

“But I’m not sure this is a situation where not knowing would help them?” he continues, voice lilting up at the end like it’s a question. “I mean, it didn’t help us.”

Eddie sighs, letting himself melt into the springy mattress. Look at all of them. They’d left Carol in the dark, and she’d crawled her way into the inner circle by her hell-beast talons.

Stumbling around in the dark never helped anyone.

“I’ll think about it,” Eddie says, already knowing that its too late. The worm’s wriggled its way into his brain and made a home there.

But there’s an order to these things, and Will comes first, always. They clamber into Eddie’s van in the morning, ready to enjoy whatever somehow overcooked and overcooked concoction Mama Byers has made for breakfast.

Jonathan opens the door before they’re even out of the van. He leans against the door jam, crossing his arms and glaring hatefully out at them, still in his raggedy pajama pants.

“Johnny Boy!” Eddie calls, beaming as he bounds up to him, shoving past him to come into the house, uninvited. “You’re looking mighty cheerful this morning.”

“Sorry, I don’t have a cheerful face on for the early-morning uninvited guests,” he grumbles, stepping out of the way and letting Steve through with much less ire.

Eddie can’t blame him. Steve’s in his stupid yellow sweater looking soft and warm in the November air. Eddie can’t compete with that, doesn’t even want to.

“Is Will up?” Steve asks, in a far more appropriate volume for the early morning.  

Jonathan gestures toward the back of the house before stumbling over to the couch and sinking into it.

Mama Byers isn’t anywhere in sight, and the house is quiet enough that their voices may carry. Eddie’s not worried. These people are his family, and more importantly, they’re Will’s.

If the wall’s have got ears, he couldn’t pick anyone better to be listening. He’d bare any bit of himself here, if Will needs him to.

Eddie grabs Steve’s wrist and pulls him along toward Will’s bedroom. It’s time to get this show on the road.

Part 115

[helluva-squid]

Okay I also wanna talk about Octavia because there are some... wild takes about her floating around.

I am an afab person who (surprise, surprise) has father-related trauma. It's not the same dynamic as Stolas and Octavia, but the end result was that I moved as far away as I could as soon as I was able and overall limited how much I saw and interacted with him. As I got older, though, I could better understand how a lot of my dad's behavior was the result of his own (unresolved) mental illnesses and generational trauma. It didn't mean I automatically owed him forgiveness, nor did it make what he did (and continues to do) any less painful. Part of healing from parental trauma is finding the balance between acknowledging the very real damage inflicted on you by someone who was supposed to be your guardian, and the grace and understanding that comes from eventually being able to see your parents as people who were just doing what they could with the shitty circumstances they found themselves in. It's one of the hardest things to learn - you can hold both of these thoughts at the same time, and one doesn't cancel out the other.

My relationship with my dad has improved a little over the years. I do still have to hold him firmly at arm's length, but at least having the perspective to understand why he acts the way he does has helped me to take it as less of a personal failing. Octavia is 17 years old, which is an age where you still see your parents more as Caregiver and less as A Whole Person. As the viewers, we know that Stolas did the best he could for Octavia - we know he loves her more than anything. We know that Stolas was put in an impossible position, too. His choices were essentially to save the person he loves and lose everything else, or let Blitz die and live the rest of his life under the control of Stella and Andrealphus. But it was still a choice he made, and the consequence of that choice was that Stolas effectively abandoned her, no matter how much he didn't actually want that. Octavia still loves her dad, wouldn't let her uncle hurt him, but either way she feels like he chose Blitz over her.

I'm pretty hopeful that as Octavia understands more about her father as a person - how deeply unhappy he was, both as a closeted gay man and as someone trapped in what was pretty clearly an abusive marriage - she will find it in her heart to forgive him. Stolas is, at the core of it, a good father, just caught up in really awful circumstances. But she also needs some time to be angry and hurt. Eventually I think we will get that beautiful vision Blitz had of the four of them as a blended family, but I don't think it's reasonable for Octavia to just Get Over It straight away.

Anyway, I have been surprised at some of the takes I've seen because I really thought it was a very grounded portrayal of familial trauma and mental illness. I love both Stolas and Octavia a lot as characters and I am really really REALLY looking forward to some step-dad Blitz in the future.