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hockey-fics · 4 years ago

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Broken Promises and Forbidden Relationships ~ Jamie Oleksiak

Summary: Having Roope as your best friend was one of the best things in your life. The biggest downside had always been how protective he got. So you made a promise to never get involved with one Dallas Star defensemen in particular...but sometimes feelings are stronger than past promises.

Word Count: ~10.5k

Warnings: Language, very cliche, a lot of drama.

Video source of gif

Huge shoutout to @klingeroopesalove for the idea and then being the most patient person on planet earth for waiting so stupidly long for me to finish it.

A/N: There’s a few sentences in Finnish throughout this. I tried my absolute best with the translations. I don’t speak Finnish so I had to rely on contextual dictionaries for this so I’m really, really sorry if I butchered it! Also, it’s not my best writing in general and I don’t love it, but I hope you enjoy it!

Roope had been the older brother you never biologically had since you were 7. When your parents, the free-spirits they were, had decided to sell the house you had lived in for the first seven years of your life on a whim. But rather than move across town or to a new city or even a different state they decided to start fresh in Tampere, Finland. You moved into a house across the street from another family that your parents quickly befriended and the next thing you knew Roope was showing up at your front door every morning to walk you to school. And after the end of the school day he would show up at your classroom door to walk home with you. He was only one year older than you but he very quickly became protective over you, you were the epitome of a new kid and he wanted to make things as easy for you as possible. And just as quickly you grew attached to Roope, the first day he was sick and couldn’t walk with you to school left you crying so hard your mom agreed to take you herself, leaving her forty minutes late to work.

You had always talked about moving back to the United States growing up. It wasn’t that you disliked Finland, in fact, in many of your daydreams about the USA it felt more like a temporary stop. To reconnect with some of your earliest memories before moving back to Finland eventually.

Saying goodbye to Roope when he moved to Texas after being signed by the Dallas Stars was one of the hardest days of your life. But in retrospect the sadness you felt was overkill. Because within four months you were also living in Texas. And you had adapted incredibly easy to the move. But you knew you had Roope to thank for that, for being the catalyst to finally doing what you said you were going to do.

“Mind if we pick up Y/N on the way?” Roope asks, turning his head to look across the interior of his car at Jamie. Jamie’s car was in the shop and when he mentioned getting a rental car for the day Roope told him he could just carpool to and from practice that day with him instead of going through that hassle. What he didn’t think about was the fact that he had agreed to pick you up on his way home for a movie night at his apartment.

Jamie glances over at Roope with a mischievous grin. He had heard all about you. As had the rest of the team and most likely anybody who Roope had talked to. Everybody knew you were Roope’s best friend and even though he had never said it out loud everyone was well aware of the reason he never brought you around to meet the team. He was protecting you. Protecting you from the possibility of you falling for and getting hurt by one of his teammates. He would try to protect you from getting your heart broken by any guy in the world if it was possible, but the best he could logistically do was keeping you from his teammates.

“No problem,” Jamie replies easily, turning back to look out through the front window of the car.

Roope stops at a red light, glancing back over at Jamie. “Don’t make it weird.”

“Why do you think I would?”

“Because she’s…,” Roope’s voice fades out as he presses on the gas, accelerating through the intersection. “I don’t….she’s really pretty, I guess,” Roope mutters in the way a brother would talk about his sister, uncomfortable even acknowledging the fact that someone might look at you in a way that was more than just friendly.

Jamie chuckles, shaking his head. “Fine, I won’t make it weird,” Jamie assures him with finality, sounding more reassuring than Roope felt.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket, drawing your attention away from the book you were reading. ’I’m here’ the text message from Roope reads. Swiping your keys from the counter and your bag from beside the door you head out, hurrying down the stairs and outside.

Approaching Roope’s familiar vehicle you reach out for the door handle on the passenger’s side, pausing when you notice a person in the passenger’s seat already. Before you have the chance to get to the backseat the door opens.

“You can have the front seat,” the man tells you and after a couple moments you recognize him as Jamie Oleksiak. Oleksiak. You were more familiar with him by his last name after watching almost ever single one of Roope’s games.

“No, no,” you tell him quickly, watching as he steps out of the car. But your hand is already on the back door. “Get back in,” you laugh, gesturing towards the car.

Jamie shakes his head, an amused smile on his lips. “I’m the one messing up your movie date.”

“It’s not…it’s not a date…and you’re definitely not messing anything up.” You weren’t sure where that need to clarify came from. You had joked about dating Roope more times than you could count. About how often he would pay for your meals out, picking you up and taking you home, texting and FaceTiming constantly when you weren’t together. But you wanted Jamie to know it wasn’t like that. And even though you wanted to deny it, it was pretty hard to convince yourself that it wasn’t simply because of Jamie. Because of his tall figure towering over you. Because of the grin on his lips as he looked down at you. Because of the tattoos covering his muscular arms, partially obscured by the sleeve of his t-shirt. Because of his piercing eyes locked on yours. And maybe, just maybe, you finally understood the jokes Roope had made to you about keeping you away from his friends. Because you really had underestimated just how attractive Jamie really was, the brief shots of him on the television screen during games doing him no justice.

Jamie chuckles, his hand resting casually on top of the car door in a way you knew would look ridiculous if you ever tried. “I’m not the one making it weird,” Jamie says, turning to look back into the car at Roope.

You narrow your eyes as you lean down to look through the interior of the car, watching Roope turn his head to look back at you. “Mene vain autoon, Y/N,” Roope says, telling you to get in the car.

You blink a few times as Roope begins to speak Finnish, something he only ever did when he was frustrated with you or wanting to tell you something privately when other people were around. “Mikä sinua vaivaa?” You reply, voice hushed as you ask him what his problem was while climbing into the backseat of the car.

You watch as Jamie apprehensively gets back into the passenger’s seat, eyes shifting back and forth between you and Roope.

“Älä flirttaile hänen kanssaan,” Roope warns, telling you not to flirt with Jamie as he turns back around in his seat to look out through the front window.

“En flirttaillut hänen kanssaan,” you state harshly, letting Roope know you weren’t flirting with Jamie. But perhaps it was a slight lie. With the way you made it very clear that he wasn’t messing up your day, the way your eyes lingered on his just a little too long. You turn your head to the other side of the car, noticing Jamie glancing back at you. “Sorry,” you tell him with a soft smile. “Someone doesn’t know it’s rude to speak in a language their guest can’t understand,” you state, a jab at Roope, playful, but still a jab.

Jamie chuckles, not looking back out the front window for a few minutes. “I’m Jamie, by the way,” he tells you, now settled in the car and realizing nobody had even done introductions. Not that they needed to be done. You had watched Jamie play more times than you could possibly count and he had heard more stories about you than he could possibly count.

“Nice to meet you,” you tell him, stopping yourself before saying ‘I know’. “I’m Y/N.”

“I know,” he says and you can’t help but smile at that, at how quickly he said exactly what you hadn’t. “Heard a lot about you.”

“Oh god, that can’t be good,” you joke, laughing as you slide into the seat behind Roope so you would have a better view of Jamie as you continued the conversation.

Jamie chuckles and turns his head to glance at you, the glance lingering longer than it should have and you can’t ignore the butterflies in your stomach coming alive with the way he was looking at you. “All good stuff,” he assures you.

“Good,” is all you can manage to whisper. It wasn’t like you to be at a loss for words, but your mind was a blank slate, empty under his gaze. But the second his eyes flick away from yours you know you’re in trouble, because all you want is for them to be back on you. “What are you doing this afternoon?” You blurt out and Jamie turns to look back at you while Roope glances in the rearview mirror, trying to figure out if you were really about to do what he thought you were.

Jamie shrugs, shaking his head. “I don’t know, I’ve got no plans.”

“Come watch a movie with us,” you suggest, trying to sound casual about it, not too eager.

“Y/N, ei,” Roope mutters, telling you no.

“I-,” Jamie begins, looking over at Roope and then back at you, seeming torn. “If you don’t mind.” You weren’t sure who the latter part was directed at, but you were pretty sure it was Roope given his uncomfortable tension through the entirety of the car ride.

“That’s fine,” Roope mutters. You know it’s not fine. You know he doesn’t want you to get close to his teammates. He never did.

Growing up in high school when everyday you were in the same building as the junior hockey team it was harder for Roope to keep you from getting hurt. And hurt is exactly what you got. Hurt by one of Roope’s teammates when he cheated on you after your five months together, a reasonable feat at 15 years old. And of course Roope hated him after that, but you made him promise that he wouldn’t let it impact how he played. That whatever happened during the 60 minutes of his hockey games had to be completely unrelated to what happened with you. And as far as you could tell, he upheld that promise back then.

But you weren’t going to let that one experience when you were 15 years old interfere with your life all these years later.

You’re in Roope’s apartment soon after, Jamie standing a few feet away, watching as you put a bag of popcorn in the microwave while Roope had disappeared somewhere in his apartment.

“What movie are we watching?” Jamie asks, watching you push the button for the popcorn on the microwave.

Turning to him you press your hip to the counter as the microwave whirs in the background. “I think the guest should pick.”

“You’re the guest here too,” Jamie points out.

Rolling your eyes playfully you cross your arms over your chest. “Hardly. I’m here almost as much as my own apartment.”

“Okay, well you have to at least help me out.”

Lifting your eyebrows you look up at him. “Oh, do I?”

Jamie nods, a smirk on his lips. “Yeah, you do.”

“Okay,” you tell him slowly, waiting for him to go on.

“What category of movie should I pick from?”

“Romantic…comedy, a comedy,” you tell him, quickly changing your answer when you considered the possibility of your suggestion coming across too strong. You weren’t going to deny that you were attracted to Jamie, but you couldn’t be that outright about it. You had to feel things out for now.

“Romantic comedy,” Jamie states, combining the two suggestions you made into one. It felt so easy, the way he said it, his voice gentle and sweet.

You feel your cheeks getting a little warm and you immediately divert your attention back to the microwave, eyes watching the numbers decreasing. You’re sure for a moment that time has slowed down to make you sit in this situation for longer than normal. “Can you grab a couple bowls?” you ask Jamie, nodding towards the cupboard behind him.

Jamie turns around and opens the cupboard door, reaching up to grab a couple of the bowls from the top shelf. As he does so you can’t help but look back in his direction, eyes taking in the sight before you. Sure, you knew you shouldn’t be staring. Maybe it was disrespectful or inconsiderate. He was just doing what you asked, helping you out, you shouldn’t be checking him out. But it felt like a magnetic pull that you didn’t know how to break from.

You don’t look away quick enough when Jamie turns back towards you, the two bowls in hand. You know that he had caught you staring. You knew it from the smirk on his lips as he extends his arm with the bowls, silent as he hands them to you.

“Thanks,” you whisper, taking them and setting them on the counter. Keeping your back to him you take the popcorn out of the microwave, dumping some into each of the bowls, trying to ignore the urge you had to look back and see if he was watching you. You were fairly sure he was, if not simply because you were the only other person in the room.

“No problem,” he replies, leaning against the counter.

When you look back over he’s already looking at you, but he’s unwavering in it. “He wasn’t lying.”

“Hm?” You hum, one hand resting against the counter as you look up at Jamie.

“Roope said you were really pretty…he wasn’t lying.”

You feel your heart hammering, loud and distracting in your own ears. “He must have forgotten to give me the same message about you.” Your eyes were focused on the counter, on the clock on the stove, briefly on Jamie’s lips, anywhere but his eyes. You were scared if you looked into his eyes you simply wouldn’t be able to look away, to hide the fact that you were falling for him harder and faster than you knew you should be.

“That I’m really pretty?”

And suddenly the tension in the room has changed. It’s lighter now as his comment makes you giggle. When you look over from where you were staring at the flashing light on the dishwasher you notice him already looking at you with an amused grin. “Yeah, you’re for sure one of the prettiest people I’ve ever seen,” you joke.

“I’m flattered,” Jamie chuckles, reaching over and picking up at piece of popcorn.

A moment later you reach over as well, grabbing a few pieces as you step away from him and into the middle of the kitchen. “Catch,” you tell him, tossing a kernel of corn through the air.

Jamie instinctively reaches out, catching the popcorn in his hand with ease.

You can’t help but laugh, shaking your head. “Not with your hand, dumbass,” you tease. Occasionally it came back to you. Flirting in the same way you flirted as a teen, with a slight meanness to your comments. “Your mouth.”

Jamie laughs and you feel your cheeks warm up again. “Not…,” you begin, trailing off as you realize you didn’t need to clarify that you didn’t mean anything sexualize by it. You try again, tossing it towards him.

“You’re going to have to throw higher than that.”

“You’re too tall,” you giggle, trying to get some more height on the popcorn. “It’s too light,” you whine about the popcorn.

Jamie grabs a handful of popcorn, nodding for you to step back before he grabs one piece and throws it in your direction. You manage to catch the first kernel, laughing as you spin in a celebratory circle. Jamie tries again and this time you step overzealously to the side, your hip smacking against the corner of the kitchen island.

“Ow,” you whine, laughing as you grasp your hip.

“Are you okay?” Jamie asks, stepping over towards you, his hands hovering towards you, as if wanting to do something to help the situation but falling short of knowing what to do.

You can’t help but fall just a little more for him, for the way his eyes were filled with concern over such a little thing. “Yeah, completely,” you assure him, looking down at his hands. You watch him hesitantly bring one to the counter, resting it there in an attempt to look like he wasn’t unsure of everything he was doing. “Thanks for asking though.”

“Of course.”

You place both your hands onto the counter, hopping up onto it. For the first time you’re the same height as Jamie and you’re finally looking into his eyes for more than a couple fleeting seconds. “You have really nice eyes.” Your voice comes out as a whisper, eyes locked on his.

“Thank you,” Jamie replies, his own voice in a low whisper as he gravitates a little closer. He leans a little closer and you realize he’s looking into your eyes, really and truly looking into them. “Yours too.”

Jamie is standing directly in front of you now. You couldn’t stop your mind from flooding with all sorts of less than PG thoughts about Jamie standing so close to you, so close to standing between your legs. You can’t even manage to say anything over the volume of the thoughts in your head.

“What movie are we watching?” Roope asks, breaking you away from the moment you were having with Jamie.

“Jamie is picking,” you tell him, turning your head around to look over your shoulder at Roope. As Jamie steps back you slide off the counter, grabbing the two bowls of popcorn from the counter.

“A romantic comedy,” Jamie chimes in as you and him follow Roope into the living room.

Roope laughs as he plops down onto the recliner he always sat in. He always sat in the recliner so you could lay on the couch. “Oh, you’re not joking,” Roope comments, noticing he was the only one laughing.

“You’re going to make Jamie share the couch and popcorn with me?” You ask Roope, your tone lighthearted but your insides twisting into anxious knots. How did Jamie have such control over your feelings? He was just a guy. Just one of the most attractive guys you had seen in awhile. But just a guy.

“I don’t mind,” Jamie says, already sitting down on the end of the couch.

Nodding you walk over, sitting down a couple feet away from him as you set the bowl of popcorn between you two. You reach over for the remote, handing it to Jamie as you pull your legs up onto the couch, shuffling a little closer to him so you could reach the popcorn.

“Olen kolmas pyörä,” Roope mutters, complaining about feeling like a third wheel.

“Hiljaa,” you reply, telling him to shut up as you shake your head. He wasn’t a third wheel as he was insinuating with his comment. Though perhaps if you really did have it your way he would be. But just as that thought pops into your mind you’re quick to get rid of it by focusing on the Netflix options Jamie was scrolling through.

Fifteen minutes later a movie is playing and you’re all sitting quietly watching it. You were far more tense than normal. You weren’t lounging on the couch shovelling popcorn into your mouth without a care in the world.

But halfway through the movie you felt some of your nerves dissipating, the familiar feeling of getting over the initial anxiety during a first date. But you felt ridiculous that you were feeling like that. This was so far from a first date.

Eventually the popcorn bowl is moved onto the coffee table, leaving the space between you and Jamie empty. And you find yourself gravitating towards him a little every time you adjust on the couch. And then his arm is around the back of the couch behind you and you can’t help but turn to look at him with a playful smile on your lips. Because it was such a classic move, the arm on the couch, it wasn’t as forward as putting your arm around someone. It was subtle, it was open to interpretation. It was a way to make a move where you couldn’t be directly denied. But when he looked back down at you, you knew that you hadn’t misread the situation. So you slide a little closer, tentative as you lean against him.

“Do you like the movie?” Jamie whispers once you’re leaning against him, his arm still resting on the couch.

Nodding you tip your head back, looking up at him. You notice the stubble on his jawline, obviously having shaved recently but not too recently. And it looks so effortlessly attractive. His eyes are soft as he gazes down at you. “Yeah, I do. It was a good choice.”

“You’re picking next time.”

The corners of your lips pull into a smile when he says this, feeling his arm slide down from the back of the couch to rest on your shoulders. “Next time?”

Jamie lets out a breath of laughter. “Hopefully,” he whispers.

“I feel left out of this conversation,” Roope announces, looking over at you and Jamie. He waits till you look into his eyes, immediately giving you a look. A look of disapproval, a look of ‘what are you doing?’ Rather than addressing it you quickly break eye contact with him.

“Sucks, hey?” Jamie jokes, referring to when Roope kept speaking to you in Finnish.

You can’t help but giggle at that, feeling Jamies fingers brush over your shoulder, as if to silently tell you he appreciated you laughing at his joke, at being in on a joke with you.

Roope shakes his head, turning back to the movie without saying another word.

By the time the movie comes to an end you’re completely cuddled up with Jamie. He’s sitting at an angle, allowing you lean against his chest, your legs pulled onto the couch. You can feel every time he chuckles at a joke in the movie, the steady rise and fall of his chest with his breath.

“Ready to go?” Roope asks harshly when the movie ends, sitting up straighter in the recliner.

You’re taken aback by this. He almost never asks you to leave after just one movie. He almost never asks you to leave in general. He typically waits will you ask him to drive you home. “Yeah,” you mumble, pulling yourself away from Jamie and stretching your arms in front of you.

You feel a sense of urgency as you pick up the bowl of popcorn to take it to the kitchen, bustling around as you gather your belongings while Roope waits to drive you and Jamie back to your apartments.

This time it’s you who has to be the one to break out the Finnish. And you felt bad with Jamie a few feet away, but the way Roope was acting was equally concerning and irritating. “Miksi käyttäydyt näin?” You ask him why he’s acting like that.

“I thought it was rude to speak another language,” Roope deadpans, grabbing his keys from the counter.

“Whatever,” you grumble, following him out the door. Your relationship with Roope was so much closer to a sibling relationship than a typical relationship. You two would bicker and argue all the time, but you knew it never really meant anything. Well, it normally didn’t mean anything.

After dropping Jamie off at his apartment Roope turns to look at you. “You can’t go out with him.”

“Okay,” you say, the word drawn out as you say it.

“I know you’re into him.”

“What are you talking about? I didn’t say that,” you tell him defensively, despite the fact that it was very true.

“I know you well enough, I can tell you are,” Roope says, his eyes focused intently out the front window. “Not that I have to know you well to tell, with you two all over each other on the couch.”

“We weren’t,” you begin, sighing loudly as you roll your eyes. “We weren’t all over each other. He had his arm around me…that’s it.”

“I don’t ask much from you but can you just listen to me for once?”

“What the hell?” You whine, rolling your eyes. “I listen to you all the time.” And it was true, you were always going to Roope for advice. The only difference is that was advice you were asking for, this was advice he was giving you.

“Can you please just agree to this?”

“Fine,” you huff. You knew it would be easier to just let this go. It wasn’t like Jamie even asked for your number or made any real plans to see you again. So it wasn’t worth arguing for something that wasn’t even going to happen.

“Good,” Roope comments, stopping at an intersection. “So do you want to come back to my apartment and watch another movie?”

Laughing you roll your eyes. So getting you to leave was just to get Jamie away from you. “Of course,” you reply.

Later that night, after two more movies and pizza for dinner with Roope you’re back at your apartment, getting ready for bed. After you crawl under the covers and pick up your phone you notice an Instagram notification.

Jamie Oleksiak (jamieoleksiak) started following you.

Clicking the notification your phone unlocks, opening his profile. After a few minutes of scrolling through his profile you go back to the top, pressing the follow back button with a smile on your face. You shouldn’t have been so happy. For a few different reasons but primarily because it simply didn’t mean anything.

Months later and you never received so much as a DM from Jamie. You had gotten your hopes up for nothing. Nothing but a friendly gesture for him to follow you. He had liked all your new posts since then, but nothing more than that.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in fifteen,” you tell Roope, your phone sitting on the bathroom counter as you were finishing the last bits of your hair. It was a blatant lie. The drive to his apartment took ten minutes itself and you had lost hope of being out of your apartment in the next five.

It was the Dallas Stars’ annual casino night and Roope had asked you to come with him. He had never invited you to anything like this before and you had a slight inkling you knew why that was changing. Because you had met Jamie. You had met Jamie and absolutely nothing happened. Nothing happened and Roope was ecstatic about it. He was coming around to the idea that perhaps he had been just a little too protective with you.

So here you were, standing in front of the mirror in a black dress, looking more done up than you had been in awhile. You simply had no reason to get this dressed up, makeup and hair done to match.

“I know you’re lying,” Roope comments and you can hear the humour in his voice, can picture him shaking his head.

“Okay, fine,” you huff, yanking the curling iron cord from the outlet, swiping your phone from the counter as you make your way to your bedroom. “Twenty,” you tell him, digging through your closet for the pair of heels you knew you had but hadn’t worn in long enough for them to end up stashed in the back of the closet. “I’m just putting my shoes on now,” you call to your phone on the other side of the room, pulling the heels on and securing the tiny, delicate buckles around your ankles.

“I knew you would be late, we don’t actually have to leave my place for like forty-five minutes.”

You pause, looking over at your phone with narrowed eyes, as if you were really looking at Roope. Huffing you walk over, picking your phone up along with the purse you had already prepared with the essentials for the night. “You’re so…infuriating. I’ve been panicking for like an hour about being late.”

“But if I didn’t do this you would still be panicking and we really would be late,” Roope chuckles.

Rolling your eyes you remain silent, knowing it was the truth. Walking to the door you grab your car keys. “I’m leaving now,” you mutter, pretending to be annoyed with him when you were truly relieved.

“See you in a bit.”

When you get to the venue you become aware of the fact that the night was going to be more overwhelming than you had anticipated. You wanted to make a good impression with Roope’s teammates. But to meet them all at once was a bit more than you bargained for.

“So you must be Y/N.”

Turning your head in the direction of the voice you smile at the man approaching you. Tyler Seguin. You knew who most of the players were, but you knew him especially. Because one of your friends in particular had shared her much more than innocent feelings for him with you.

“I am,” you say with a soft laugh, looking over at Roope teasingly, coming to realize he really did talk about you more than you thought. You talked about him all the time too, with your friends and family. About current things, games and achievements but also when you talked about your past. Because from the moment you met Roope he had been such an important part of your life than almost all of your memories included him in some form. “Tyler, right?”

Tyler smirks and you know it’s just friendly but Roope steps forward, almost between you two.

“Calm down,” you laugh, jokingly pushing at Roope’s arm. “It’s not me you would need to worry about around him.”

Roope’s brows furrow as he stares at you and you can see in his eyes he’s running through the rolodex of options. “Who?” He finally asks, voice hushed as if you were spilling some serious secrets.

“Allie,” you giggle, shaking your head at how intrigued Roope had become.

“Allie, hey?” Tyler chimes in, laughing as he says it, making it evident that he was just joking.

“Don’t get too excited, she’s in Finland,” you explain to Tyler.

As you, Tyler, and Roope continue your conversation your attention it caught by a tall figure across the room. Jamie. And he was looking right back at you.

“Sorry, you’ll have to excuse me for a minute,” you say to Roope and Tyler, stepping back and around them.

Walking up to Jamie you smile up at him. “Long time, no see.”

“Too long,” he replies, lifting the glass he was holding to his lips. “You look beautiful tonight…I mean, you look beautiful always, but tonight especially,” he stammers, chuckling at himself as he shakes his head, both of you aware that he was flustered because of you. “You don’t want a drink?” He asks, clearly feeling like he needed a couple more himself.

“Thank you,” you say politely, replying to his compliment, uncertain of exactly how to take it. Perhaps if he had shown more interest, between the time you met and now you would have a better grasp of how to respond. You wanted to think he was truly into you, but you couldn’t get rid of the nagging in the back of your head telling you that he could have done more. “Yeah, actually, I would,” you tell him finally, glancing around for the bar.

“Let’s go find you a drink then.” Jamie’s hand pressing into your lower back makes you jump, the contact unexpected. “Sorry,” he says instantly, pulling back. You knew he was just doing it to guide you through the crowded room but it caused your stomach to erupt with butterflies in a way that made you realize that the excitement you felt initially was still very much alive.

Laughing you shake your head. “It’s fine, I just wasn’t expecting that.” You glance down at his hand, hesitantly reaching over and taking it in yours, nodding in the direction of the bar. “Let’s go find that drink.”

Jamie nods, eyes not leaving yours, a smile on his lips. Completely wrapped up in you, like nothing else going on in the room mattered for the time being.

And you don’t let go of his hand till you’re at the bar, standing next to him while you wait for the crowd of people already there to be helped. You were in no rush because a part of you worried this might be the only time you got to be with Jamie that night. You needed more time with him, to figure out what was happening with him…if anything was happening with him.

“I was surprised when Roope said he was bringing you,” Jamie says as you were glancing around the room, taking in the large and crowded room, the sound of music faded below the hum of conversations blending into one steady drone.

“I think he’s feeling a little more comfortable after we met,” you explain even though you’re certain he already knows this. “Because nothing happened even though we were…” you trail off, hoping Jamie would fill in the blank.

Attracted to each other? Flirting? You were hoping for something, but you receive nothing but a nod of acknowledgement instead.

After getting your drink you glance up at Jamie, wishing for a moment that you didn’t have to do what you were about to do. “I should go find Roope, I haven’t been a great date so far.”

Jamie chuckles and nods. “So it’s a date this time, hey? I remember you got a little defensive about that word last time.”

“I’m more sure that you know Roope and I aren’t a thing now,” you explain, taking a sip of your drink. “I’m surprised you still don’t have someone to bring with you tonight though.”

Jamie chuckles, shrugging. “The person I’m interested right now is here with someone else tonight.”

Laughing you roll your eyes playfully. “Good one, Casanova.” Out of the corner of your eye you notice a couple people standing a few feet away, glancing over in Jamie’s direction. “I think you’ve got some people who want to talk to you,” you tell him, stepping back. “And I should get back to my date,” you add with a teasing smile.

He nod, intoxicated by you, watching you till you had turned around and walked away, back in Roope’s direction.

You can feel the temperature in the place increasing with time, the amount of bodies crammed into the space too much for the air conditioning to keep up. It’s fairly late in the evening when you excuse yourself again. Roope was wrapped up in a conversation with a fan, an elderly gentleman, that you felt rude enough interrupting to tell him you were going outside for a moment.

“I’ll come with you, just give me a couple minutes,” Roope says quietly. “I don’t want you to be outside alone.”

Sighing you shake your head, annoyed both that he felt like you couldn’t go alone and also because a part of you knew he was right. “I’ll be fine.”

“Y/N,” Roope says seriously.

“Fine, I won’t go alone,” you tell him, your eyes having landed on Jamie. He also seemed to be in a conversation, but he was just talking with Jason and Miro. It would be less rude for him to leave them than for Roope. Not to mention you liked the idea of spending a few more minutes with Jamie.

Roope follows your gaze, jaw clenching. But you knew he couldn’t say anything about. Not here, not in front of another person. “Okay,” he mutters to you before continuing on with his conversation with the older man.

You weave your way through the crowd to Jamie who smiles as soon as he sees you, not helping to clear up whether he was into you or not. “Hey,” he greets before you’ve even come to a stop. “Need another drink?” He jokes, referring to your empty hands.

“No, I actually need a chaperone to go outside with me,” you laugh. “Roope won’t let me go get some air by myself.”

Jamie nods, gesturing towards the doors. “Lead the way.”

“You guys coming?” You ask Jason and Miro with a friendly smile.

Jason chuckles, shaking his head as he glances down at the ground. There’s a knowing smile that he’s trying to hide by avoiding looking you directly in the eyes. “Nah, we’re good.”

Nodding you step back towards Jamie. “I’ll have him back soon.”

“Take your time,” Miro comments, making Jason laugh again after just containing himself.

Outside you lean against a waist height cement retaining wall, taking a deep breath of the cool air. More than cool, the air was straight up cold, sending a shiver down your spine. You wrap your arms around your body but by the time your hands are on either arm Jamie has slid his suit jacket off. He opts out of offering it to you first, stepping in front of you he wraps it around your shoulders.

“Thank you,” you whisper as he keeps his hands on the lapels of the jacket. “You didn’t have to.”

“You’re cold,” he reasons, as if it were a given that your comfort should be above his own.

“Because I didn’t bring my jacket out here. Now you’re going to be cold.” You feel your heart racing as Jamie steps closer to you, his hands slowly dropping from where he was clutching at his jacket you had around you.

“I’m tough,” he jokes.

“I don’t doubt it,” you giggle, watching as Jamie pulls back from you, turning around to lean against the concrete wall beside you. “Jamie?” you whisper, eyes focused on the ground a few feet in front of you.

You can feel his eyes on you without having to actually see him. “Yeah?”

Swallowing heavily you cross your arms over your body. For so long you had prided yourself on not being the girl who would chase. You didn’t chase guys, didn’t ask for their attention. But here you were, doing just that. “Why didn’t you ever message me on Instagram? You followed me, I thought you were going to, but then…” you trail off, shrugging, knowing that he knew exactly what you were saying and you didn’t need to keep explaining.

Jamie is quiet for a second. “I didn’t want to get between you and Roope. I know how much you mean to him and I’m sure it’s the same thing for you.”

You can’t help but laugh, turning your head now to look at him. “Nothing could ever come between Roope and I. We’re like siblings. It doesn’t matter what happens, nothing could ever come between us.”

Jamie nods, reaching over and taking your hand, gently pulling you away from where you were standing. You follow his lead, letting him guide you to stand in front of him. His free hand slides beneath his jacket, along your waist. You swallow heavily as he pulls you a little closer. “I was surprised when I actually met you.”

“Why?” You whisper, looking up at him intently.

“Because I never thought you would actually be as incredible as Roope made you out to seem. But you are.”

You feel your breath hitch in your throat as you stare at him, speechless. How could you respond to that? You could count on one hand the number of guys who had said things that nice to you completely unprompted, without seeming to want anything in return.

You were already wearing heels but you lean up as much as you can, Jamie quickly taking the hint as he pulls you a little tighter, leaning down. But he’s moving slowly, agonizingly slowly. Just as you’re about to let out a sigh of disapproval loud chatter and laughter piling from the front door makes you pull back. You’re moving so hastily that you almost end up falling, thankful for Jamie’s quick reflexes grabbing your arms and steadying you. But he understands the message behind what you just did and lets go of you, shoving his hands into his pockets to try to seem like they weren’t just all over you a couple seconds later.

“There you are.”

It’s Roope and for the first time in your life you wished he wasn’t there. You loved him with your whole heart. You would do anything for him. But you really wished he was back inside being asked a million questions about hockey. He’s with Miro who is still chuckling about something that had been said before they came outside.

“Hey,” you say to him, smiling softly.

“Some of us are going back to Tyler’s place for a few drinks after, do you want to come?” Roope asks you. You know if you said no it would be no problem, that Roope would happily go home with you and watch movies on your couch. But before you can think about what you’re doing you turn around to look up at Jamie, to see if he was going. You knew how it looked but you were already preparing yourself to brush it off, to say it was just a friendly thing, seeing if Jamie was going. Nothing more.

“I’ll probably go for a bit,” Jamie says to the group but you know the words are directed at you.

You look back to Roope, waiting a couple seconds. You didn’t want to seem too eager to follow up Jamie’s answer with a yes. “Yeah, could be fun,” you tell him casually.

And so a couple hours later you’re standing in Tyler’s kitchen with a can of cider in your hand, the second since you got there. Between that and the three glasses of wine at the event you were feeling a little bit of a buzz. And a little buzz always came with a lot of confidence.

So you excuse yourself from the conversation you were having, walking over to where Jamie was leaning against the doorframe. “Want to go outside…again?” You ask him simply.

Jamie smiles and nods in the direction of the front door, waiting for you to begin walking towards it before following after you. Before you’re even outside Jamie has his jacket off, sliding it over your shoulders as you step outside.

“Kiss me,” you whisper once the door is closed.

“Right here?” Jamie asks, wanting to make sure you were absolutely certain about the risk you were about to take. Knowing that at any moment Roope could, and would, be coming to find you. But he seems to have no qualms about it as he places his hands on your waist, pulling you closer to him.

“I don’t want to wait any longer, Jamie. I wanted you to kiss me that first day we met.”

So he does as you ask, leaning down and pressing his lips to yours. He’s gentle, just like his personality but you have a sneaking suspicion that he might be a little less gentle if you made it clear that’s what you wanted. So you bring your hand around the back of his neck, pushing your body into his. He brings one arm around your lower back, supporting you as you teeter around in an effort to be taller.

Breathless and flushed you pull back from him, eyes fluttering open to look at him. “I think it’s time for me to go home now,” you whisper.

“Why’s that?” Jamie asks, his hands still on your waist.

“That’s all I really came here for,” you tell him, leaning up to press your lips to his again, a quick, gentle kiss this time. You pull away and take a step back, his hands falling from your body.

Just as you turn around to go back inside, to find Roope, to tell him you were going to get an Uber to go home, Jamie’s hand wraps around your wrist. He pulls you back gently, hand sliding on the side of your face, tipping your head back to kiss you again. The feelings it evokes are even stronger than the first kiss and it feels like every nerve in your body is firing, body hot and tingly as he kisses you passionately. “Let me take you out, on a date,” he whispers as he pulls back.

All you can manage to do is nod. Pulling your phone from your pocket you get Jamie to give you his number, sending him a text right there so he has yours. Then you walk back inside, leaving Jamie outside.

By the time you find Roope and you’re back outside to get in your Uber Jamie is gone. You don’t know if he’s back in Tyler’s place or if he’s gone home too. You don’t worry too much about it thought. Because this time you were pretty sure there would actually be another time. Unlike the first meeting, the empty promise of another movie night, this felt much more concrete.

And concrete it was. Jamie had sent you a text the next morning, asking when you were free. You didn’t want to seem too eager so you told him that you were free three nights from that day even though you were free that very night and the night after as well. You two went for dinner, then you went back to your apartment and watched a movie.

After that first date you two both realized that you were truly good with each other. Your conversations flowed easily and you spent so much of the night laughing. You simply enjoyed being together.

So you continued going on dates, for many weeks, months, without telling anyone about it. Neither of you brought up the fact that you were hiding the relationship. It was an unspoken truth. Because you both had a lot to risk. You both had made a promise to Roope. That you weren’t going to give the other a chance and neither of you wanted to own up to breaking that promise.

It was a Friday night and the Stars had just won a home game, a game that you were in the arena to watch. Because Roope asked if you wanted to go, as he often did. But you couldn’t deny that you spent a lot of that game watching Jamie, drawn to him even from such a distance.

Usually you went back to Roope’s place after games, having been given a key to his apartment long ago. He always said it was easier for you to just go straight there but you always figured it was part of his ploy to keep you away from the guys. A hunch that was confirmed when he gave you instructions for where to meet him after the game if you wanted to hang around and wait for him before heading out.

So you followed his instructions, a little uncertain as you made your way from your seat and past the doors you always left after a game. You made your way to where Roope had told you, pulling out your phone and trying to look busy, like you belonged where you were.

A couple minutes later you sense someone is looking at you and you look up, seeing Jamie approaching you with a smile. “Hey,” he says, glancing around before placing his hands on your waist, leaning down.

“Jamie,” you whisper, panic in your eyes and in your voice. “Jamie we’re going to get caught.”

“Roope takes forever,” Jamie informs you, trying to sound reassuring. “He said you were here tonight, I was hoping you would still be here.”

Leaning up you press your lips to his softly. “Oh, so you came out here looking for me then?” you tease.

“Of course,” he tells you. “Are you going to go hang out with Roope tonight?”

Pulling back a little you shrug your shoulders. “It’s usually what we do, but we didn’t talk about it.” You glance behind you before looking back up at Jamie. “Should we go back to my place instead?”

“You and Roope?” Jamie asks with a teasing smile.

Shaking your head you lean back towards him, onto your tip toes. “You know I meant with you,” you whisper, pressing your lips against his. He kisses you back quickly, both of you so caught up in each other that you were quickly losing your motivation to stay away from each other any chance a person might catch you.

But of course the second you let your guard down the slightest bit it all comes tumbling apart.

“Mitä vittua?”

You almost push Jamie away with how quickly you try to get away from him, wide eyes finding Roope. You knew it was him. From the language, both Finnish and the exclamation of ‘what the fuck?’. You’re standing speechless, simply staring at him.

“You promised,” Roope says, shaking his head. “You both did.” And with that he turns away from you, heading in what you assume was the direction of the way out.

“Roope,” you call, pushing past Jamie as you follow after him. “Please, wait, can you please just slow down. We need to talk about this.”

“No, Y/N,” Roope says, getting to the door. You were pretty sure he may have just clocked the record for fastest exit. He finally turns around when his hand is on the door. “You promised me.”

“I didn’t know,” you plead, shaking your head. “I didn’t know he even liked me, I didn’t think anything would happen.”

“I just need to go home.”

The way he says it makes your heart ache. You know it means he doesn’t want you to go with him. You can feel your eyes filling with tears and you try to blink quicker, to hide the tears.

But Roope sees it. Sees your tears. And he can’t handle that, can’t leave you upset. So he steps forward, wrapping his arms around you. “Please don’t be mad. I really like him,” you whisper, tears rolling down your cheeks.

Roope takes a deep breath, you can feel it in the way his chest heaves against you. “I just wished you hadn’t lied to me. Wished you both hadn’t lied to me. How long has this…what is it?”

“Hm?” You hum in confusion, pulling back to look into Roope’s eyes.

“You and Jamie, what are you two?”

You stare over up at Roope in silence. “I…,” you begin, trailing off. “I don’t know.”

“How long?”

“Not long,” you tell him honestly. “Casino Night.”

Roope nods slowly, processing what you had told him. “You’ve been seeing him for months?”

You take a deep breath, nodding. “Yeah.”

“Are you going to go home with him?”

You stare at Roope, eyes filling with tears again. “I don’t know,” you croak. You didn’t know how to answer that. It’s what you had been planning but you didn’t want to say that, didn’t want to make the situation worse. “Roope, I can’t…I can’t lose you.” You knew what you said to Jamie, that nothing could ever come between you and Roope. But now, being faced with reality, you couldn’t push those fears out of your mind. Because on the list of your biggest fears losing Roope was right up there at the top.

Roope quickly pulls you back into a hug. “Never.”

You sniffle quietly, nodding. “You’re just going to go home?”

Roope pulls back and you notice his eyes are no longer on you, looking over you down the hallway. Slowly you turn around, looking over your shoulder and seeing Jamie. He looked hesitant, uncertain. “I’ll text you later, okay?”

You look back at Roope, eyes pleading for him to reassure you that he wasn’t upset. But he doesn’t. He simply pulls away from you, turning around and heading out through the door, leaving you alone.

You bring your arms around you, hands clutching at your arms. A few minutes later Jamie is in front of you, quickly pulling you into a hug. “It’ll be okay. You said yourself you’re never going to lose him.”

You nod, letting yourself relax into him.

“Don’t know if he’ll be my biggest fan from now on though,” Jamie jokes.

You let out a relieved breath of laughter, glad that he was breaking the intensity. “As long as you don’t hurt me you have nothing to worry about,” you tease, pulling back to look up at him.

“I could never.”

His answer doesn’t feel like a joke and your breath catches in your throat at the sincerity of it. You had been trying to lighten the conversation but you didn’t know if you could make another joke after that. “Should we…”

“Get out of here?”

“Yes,” you answer, eagerly.

You kick off your shoes when you’re in Jamie’s apartment, pressing your back to the wall as you watch Jamie take off his own. “You think he’s going to be okay…with this?”

Jamie looks up from where he had focused his attention on his shoes. “I don’t know,” he replies honestly. Stepping in front of you Jamie places his hands on your hips. “If he doesn’t…”

You swallow heavily, your hands sliding up Jamie’s arms. “Jamie,” you whisper.

He nods and you know the smile on his lips is forced. “I know.”

“It’s not that I don’t care about you. I really, really like you. But he’s been my best friend for as long as I can remember and I can’t…I don’t think I could handle losing him.”

Jamie pulls you closer, pressing his lips to your forehead. “I understand.”

“I’m sorry,” you croak. You wished it didn’t have to be like this and you really wished you didn’t have to say it out loud, didn’t have to tell Jamie that he would always come second to your friendship with Roope.

“Don’t be.” Jamie’s voice is gentle and genuine. You know he’s not lying, that he truly doesn’t want you to be sorry. He’s not upset, it was no no surprise. Anyone who knew you, knew you and Roope’s relationship would know that nobody would, or could, ever come between you two. But it doesn’t make you feel any better. When you look back up at Jamie your eyes are watery, vision blurry. “Come here,” Jamie whisper, pulling you into his chest, large arms wrapped firmly around your body. “Let’s go watch a movie,” Jamie suggests, hands sliding down from your back to the backs of your thighs, leaning down and scooping you off the ground.

“Jamie,” you giggle, legs wrapping around his torso as you clutch onto him. “Put me down.”

“No,” Jamie chuckles, turning around with you in his arms.

While you felt that it was entirely unnecessary for him to be carrying you around you were pretty grateful that he had done something, anything, to break the tension, to make you laugh. “What are we going to watch?” You ask as Jamie carries you the short distance to his living room, leaning down and setting you down on the couch.

“Your choice,” Jamie tells you, handing you the remote. “What do you want for snacks?”

Smiling softly you feel your eyes fill with tears again. You knew you hadn’t been with Jamie long enough to let it get between you and Roope. But things were going so well between you two. He was so considerate, so kind. But he was also fun and he was constantly making you laugh.

“What are you thinking?” Jamie enquires, giving up on the movie and snacks for the time being as he sits beside you. Jamie reaches over, taking your hand and gently running his thumb over the back of your hand.

“It doesn’t matter. I just really like you. There’s nothing we can do about it right now,” you say quietly, blinking rapidly.

Jamie slides his arm around you, tugging you onto his lap. “We’ll figure it out.” You knew it was a lie. It was Roope who was going to figure it out. But you liked the reassurance regardless.

Sliding one of your legs over Jamie’s lap you pull back slightly, leaning in and pressing your lips to his. Jamie kisses you back but you can feel that he’s hesitant. Everything feels slower than normal that night.

Jamie slides his warm hands underneath your shirt, his skin rough in contrast to your soft skin. He pulls gently on your lower back, bringing your body closer to his. You don’t think it’s possible to get any closer as your hands grasp at him, his biceps, shoulders, sliding up to the back of his neck, fingers curling into the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Please, Jamie, I need you,” you whisper against his lips, hips grinding down into his.

And that’s all it takes. He has his hands behind your knees, gently sliding you off his lap. Before you know it Jamie is guiding you to his bedroom.

“You’re sure?” Jamie whispers when you’re in the bedroom, his hands on your waist as he guides you over to the bed. “Tonight?” He clarifies, wanting you to consider the ramifications of this. Given everything that happened that night, given the fact that you had already admitted that you would end things with him if Roope couldn’t accept it.

“Yes.”

The next morning you wake up tucked beneath Jamie’s arm, your head on his chest, leg over top of his. For a split second you forget. You forget about the night before. You forget that your relationship could potentially be coming to an end very soon. But it all comes back to you and you roll over onto your back, staring up at the ceiling.

Your movement causes Jamie to stir and he follows your direction, rolling onto his side and wrapping his free arm around you. “Good morning,” Jamie whispers, his voice filled with a sombreness that makes it evident that he hadn’t for a moment forgotten.

“‘Morning,” you whisper, turning your head to look at Jamie. “What do we do now?”

Jamie takes a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling. He seems to be thinking for awhile. “Go out for breakfast, probably.”

You stare at him blankly for a couple minutes. It was such a simple answer. So simple and yet so surprising. “Okay,” you eventually say.

Shortly after you’re sitting across from Jamie at a small cafe, a cup of coffee in front of you and your breakfast orders already taken by the waitress. “Roope texted me,” you say, hesitantly. You didn’t want to ruin the morning, but it was something that needed to be addressed.

“What did he say?” Jamie is fidgeting with the edge of the napkin wrapped around his cutlery.

“Just that he wants to talk.” Before you even think through what you’re doing you reach across the table, grabbing Jamie’s hand. “I’ll go over to his apartment after breakfast.”

Jamie nods, squeezing your hand gently. “Whatever you decide, I’ll understand,” Jamie tells you.

And after that you leave any talk about Roope about the potential end of the relationship behind. You move on, to other topics. You talk about work and hockey and you tell him about the drama in your workplace and he listens intently. He cracks jokes and makes you laugh. And it’s three hours before you actually leave the cafe.

Jamie drives you to the arena where your car was from the night before and you head to Roope’s apartment. The drive seems to go on forever, your nerves building with each passing minute.

Half an hour later you’re sitting on Roope’s couch, legs pulled up to your chest as you stare at him. “I’m sorry, Roope. I’m sorry I lied to you but I’m not sorry that I’ve been seeing Jamie,” you begin.

Roope is quiet, elbows on his knees as he leans forward, eyes on the ground. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

Once he looks up you shrug. There was no easy answer. You were confused, conflicted. You were scared. Scared that Roope wouldn’t approve. Scared that you would end up in this exact situation. “I knew you would tell me it couldn’t happen.”

“You don’t know that-.”

“Yes, I do,” you exclaim. You weren’t about to let him sit there and tell you he would have just let it happen. “You’ve never approved of a single guy I was seeing. You made me promise and now I wished I had never agreed. I wish I could go back to that day and tell you the truth, Roope. Tell you that you have no right, you have no right to tell me who I can and can’t see. You’re one of the most important people in my life. I love you. I trust you. But none of that means you get to tell me who I’m not allowed to date.” Even you’re shocked by the outburst but the way Roope physically recoils in his chair tells you that it was the last thing he was expecting.

“I-,” Roope begins, falling speechless. “You’re right,” he eventually mutters. “I just, I don’t want you to get hurt. What if something happens? How am I supposed to deal with that?”

“You don’t need to deal with it,” you tell him. “If something happens then that’s between Jamie and I, you won’t be involved. We’re adults, we’ll figure it out ourselves.”

Roope groans, leaning back in his chair and staring up at the ceiling. “Why him? Of all people…why him?” Roope whines, making you giggle.

“Because he’s sweet and funny and so hot.”

“Gross,” Roope mutters, turning his head to look at you. “Will you promise me something?”

“What is it?” The last promise he had you make regarding Jamie didn’t go so well.

“You won’t talk about how hot he is again.”

“I don’t think I can do that,” you laugh.

Roope chuckles and you can feel the tension in the room dissipating. You weren’t naive enough to think that he was completely okay with it. But you were okay with that. You were okay with him needing time as long as it meant that he wasn’t giving you an ultimatum to end things with Jamie. You knew it was all you could ask for right now and you were happy enough just with that.

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