#flippin you off

[amacrazyshark]

MEET POOTIE CIE!!

The one more likelier then the other likely ones to prank you with shit

#RedemonPals

[moeblob]

Anyway they can change between being tiny and human sized. And when they're tinier they can only be seen by the other fae or their selected humans. So if you just passed Noll on the street while Shavuli was perched on his shoulder chatting away you wouldn't see or hear her.

[theartistren]

Screw the rules, I have money!

[batshaped]

early drawings of this shitty cat

[quenepacrossing]

[cherry-shipping]

hi skenp 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

hhhHEY. HEY JUST WHAT TTHE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOURE DOING. WHWHHKH???UH I MEAN. THINK FAST IDIOT

[lynettethemadscientist]

I think it would be cool if there was a Fallout game that takes place in an Asian or European country. Just to see what’s happening over there.

Also I think it’d be cool if there was an Age of Empires style Fallout game where the point is to rebuild civilization rather than just living off the garbage from 200 years ago.

[jinwoosbabyboo]

Nah Nah Nah…

I saw a post saying we love to fantasize that the LADS Men are just amazing in bed but considering that they all only have eyes for MC they’re probably inexperienced af.

I wanna speak on this because let’s not forget….

Rafayel has been in love w/ MC for over 800 years and remembers everything yall think they weren’t boom shakalakin’ ever?? Please …. they were causing tsunamis and earthquakes …. wanderers weren’t the only thing getting beat up

Xavier has been in love with MC since they were in school all the way up til she became Queen of Philos best believe they were batta bink boom powin’ while dating and consummated that marriage THOROUGHLY (I’ll do a correction for this one they weren’t married HOWEVER COMMA main story wise Xavier isn’t from earth he’s from Philos and he’s been on earth for 214 years he’s been protecting and meeting MC again and again and falling in love … you think he didn’t sheath his sword in her at all over the course of 214 years?)

Zayne??? He’s the reason MC is a cowgirl fr you think that man don’t know what he’s doing with the way he was DEVOURING her neck and chest? PLEASE … seeing as how his memory is intertwined with all his other lives and past lives he’s truly going off instinct from what his past self(s) learned while loddy doddying w/ MC

Now Sylus we don’t have his full lore yet but we know they have a past considering the foggy flashback & his “I guess you don’t remember anything” line he also just gives husband vibes w/ how love struck he is they were married bro and if we’re sticking with the ‘they’ve known MC longer than she knows’ vibe then yes Sylus was flippin dippin and bending MC backwards when they were married.

They all know MCs body down the the last dip and curve. My sources? Trust Me.

[writersdrug]

Heyyy I hope your doing ok! Wanted to send this tiktok cuz it reminded me and made me think of bartender!Simon and hope it makes you giggle as much as it made me!! 🤭

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8Rx8F9q/

This is perfect lmao, but I imagine reader replacing things during his shift while he isn't looking.

He's busy pouring a tap, listening to Mike talk about his new promotion - you sneakily swap his corkscrew off of the Prosecco bottle for a pink one, stuffing the old one into your server apron as you pour waters for your table. You're gone just as Simon walks over to the POS.

He pulls the next ticket from the printer - three Tequila Sunrises. He looks behind him at the table in the far corner; three middle-aged women. Makes sense. He grabs the glasses and a jigger, pouring in tequila, then grenadine - he drops the jigger into the wash sink and reaches for the champagne, popping off the corkscrew-

He thinks he's gone insane for a moment, as he stands there and stares at the corkscrew in his hand. It's pink. It's... pink. Has he gone insane? Did Price order new corkscrews - and why the hell would he get pink ones?

He slowly sets it down on the countertop, then finishes pouring the champagne into the glasses. He tops them off with orange juice and sets them on the end of the bar with the ticket, right when you appear.

"I'll grab those in a sec." You say, snagging a glass and filling it with ice. You look at Simon with a furrowed brow. "Everything alright?"

He's looking around the area behind the bar, hands on his hips. "Lost somethin'."

You bite the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling. "What was it?"

"Don't worry 'bout it." He says, turning back around. He pulls the next ticket, just as you go rummaging inside the bar fridge. "What're you doin'?"

"Someone wants a ginger beer." You say, grabbing a can and pouring it into the glass. Simon grunts, heading to the opposite end of the bar for the bitters. You take the moment to swap his bottle opener for a pink one, stuffing his into your pocket. It clicks against the corkscrew, and you manage to grab the sunrises and disappear from the bar before Simon comes back.

He's putting together an Old Fashioned when some bloke walks up to the bar. "Can I get a Corona?"

"You openin'?" Simon gruffs out.

"Yeah, we're waiting for a table." The man holds his card out. Simon takes it and starts a tab - he grabs a Corona from the bar fridge and shuts the door, grabbing the bottle opener and popping the lid off.

"Lime?"

The man huffs. "No thanks. Nice shit, though."

He furrows his brow as he hands the man his drink. He watches him walk away with a confused grunt, then goes to put the opener away-

It's... pink.

He holds it in his hand. He's definitely going insane. He looks down at the corkscrew, half expecting it to be back to normal, but it's still the same Barbie pink. He slaps the bottle opener back against the fridge with a frustrated growl, folding his arms over his chest and taking a thorough look around the bar.

There's a pink pen, complete with a pompom on the end, right at the POS. Both jiggers have been replaced with two others, except they're a rose gold and finished with a glittery sheen. The bar spoon, the shakers - even the fucking strainer, for Christ's sake - they're all fucking pink.

He looks around the pub, eyes narrowed as they scan the crowd, until they land on you; leaning against the server station, facing away from him. Clearly trying to hold back a laugh.

It's you. It's obviously you. He's a bit frustrated with himself for not getting it straight away. Your server apron is full and heavy with the evidence. He watches as you run off to one of your tables, your apron clanking as you walk. He scoffs, turning and grabbing his next ticket. He'll just have to catch you in the act.

Surprisingly, you don't make it hard for him the next time.

You come back when there are no drink waiting for you, no tables that need water... you just stand at the edge of the bar, flipping through your server book like there's something interesting along the lines of smash burger med no onion and tom soup lg. You tap your pen against the bar, eyes occasionally flickering to Simon.

He passes a pint to a patron at the bar. "Need somethin'? You don't have any orders in."

You shrug. "No... just bored." you say, scribbling something in your book. Your apron is so stuffed full of his bar tools he could laugh - you can't even hide yourself behind the bar without your pockets knocking into the wood - but he bides his time. He wants to catch you in the act.

He turns to the POS, pretending to close out a tab, keeping a close eye on you. You continue staring at your server book for a few seconds, making sure he's actually focused on something else. You quickly reach into your back pocket and pull out a handful of pink, glittery pour caps - you shimmy behind him and try to snag the ones off of the liquor bottles, hastily replacing them for the pink ones with a smile on your face; but you know you've fucked up when the stolen goods in your apron clank loudly as you knock into the bar counter.

"Absolutely not." he snaps, turning around. You shriek and abandon the pink caps, trying to scurry back out from the bar, but Simon catches you by your apron strings. He pulls you back, and your server book goes flying from your hands.

"Let's see what we got, hmm?" he spins you around, keeping two fingers hooked into your apron.

You laugh hysterically. "Simon, wait-!"

He starts grabbing things from your pockets and depositing them onto the top of the mixer fridge. "Christ, ya fuckin' thief-" his bar spoon, strainers, shakers, even his fucking peeler. Several pink replacements also get pulled out, your crimes laid bare on the surface next to you.

"'N wot the fuck is this?" he asks accusingly, holding up another bottle opener - not pink, but it has a Bob Ross paining as the background, and "Po da licka" written in cursive on the front. "Wot's that even mean?"

You're laughing, pushing against his arms and chest as he pulls your pockets inside out for good measure. He's secretly relishing in it, peals ringing in his ears as he dives into the water of your happiness - it feels good to make you smile like that, even if he hides his delight behind his mask and hard eyes.

You manage to wrench yourself free, and he barely misses a swipe at the apron strings on your back before you scurry off, disappearing somewhere back into the restaurant. He stares after you, a smirk on his lips and... surprisingly, his cock chubbing up beneath his pants. He's thinking about chasing your around he bar again, and this would have been the He huffs, folding his arms over his chest and staring at the items on the counter. He wonders where you even got all this shit, but he has to admit - you got him good. He can't even be mad.

The patron across the bar chuckles, leaning over to look at the evidence with Simon. "Am I invited to the wedding?"

Simon glares at the man; he has half a mind to grab the soda gun and spray him with tonic water, but he simply gathers the items off of the counter and drops them into the sanitizer sink. "Only if I'm invited to your funeral." he grunts out.

[whaddayadothatfor]

Ctenizidae

Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x Fem!Reader

Summary: You’re an anomaly from another universe. You’re not dangerous though, so Miguel’s made the executive decision to keep you around until more dangerous criminals are caught and sent home first. Unless that’s not the only reason he’s decided to keep you around…

Content warnings: dub-con, voyeurism, masturbation, obsessive!Miguel

WC: ~1k

AN: Y’all this is so unedited but I wanted to write smut for this man so I did! If y’all like it I can post a second, smuttier part.

MDNI

“Here.” You drop a small plastic bin of chocolate chip cookies in front of Miguel. As a peace offering. No, really.

Miguel raises his right eyebrow in question. He doesn’t even answer you anymore. The other Spider-people go about their day in the cafeteria, having seen this scene time and time again.

Every day for the past two weeks since you were suddenly teleported to Nueva York and promptly labeled an anomaly, you’ve been practically begging Miguel to send you home. He’s declined every time.

This is pretty much how the conversation goes each time:

“Miguel, I think I should—“

“No. We have to send the most dangerous anomalies back to their universe first—“

“I’m dangerous! I’m plenty dangerous.”

“The only thing you’ve maimed, tortured, and killed in the past month is a flippin’ houseplant. You’re staying.”

You see how frustrating this man is?

So you’ve decided that maybe bribery— sorry, a peace offering— will work better. Hence, the cookies.

“Maybe if you eat something sweet you’ll stop being so bitter and stubborn all the time,” you smile tightly. “Then you’ll find it in your heart— the one that shrunk three sizes— to let me go home.”

“I appreciate the offering— though you could use some more creativity in your approach— but just know that these won’t get you home.” He pries open the container and lifts one to his mouth before moaning in delight. “These are delicious. Thank you,” he said, sucking the melted chocolate off of his thumb. His overly enthusiastic groans were clearly a tactic to piss you off, and it worked.

You simmer in anger as he smirks while chewing his cookie. You try to snatch the bin back, but he moves it out of your way.

“Ah, ah, ah,” he says, pushing up from the small table he was sitting at and leaning down to whisper near your ear. “No take-backsies.”

He flustered you, and he knew it. He laughed as he walked away. You stuttered a retort in embarrassment, but he didn’t even have the decency to turn around.

“Ugh, I hate that guy,” you stomped in anger. You muttered several curses before you turned around to leave, only to see several wide-eyed Spideys staring at you in concern. This is why you wait until after you’re alone to throw a tantrum— it scares the locals. Whoops. “Uhh, carry on. My bad. Enjoy your lunch!”

You quickly walk away, feeling defeated. But it doesn’t matter, you’ve got nothing but time. You’ll catch him when he’s sleeping. He’s gotta be more amenable then.

Later

“You know, just for the record, I think you going to his room this late at night is a terrible idea,” Lyla warned as she flitted between standing and reclining with her arms crossed behind her neck.

“Well I think him keeping me here is a terrible idea. I guess we’re all full of them.”

“Seriously—“

“Lyla I don’t care! I’ve got a family to get back to. Friends, a life. I don’t care how fine that man is, I’m going back home. Tonight, preferably.”

“Whatever, it’s your funeral.” She acquiesced before disappearing into the ether, just as you arrived at his door.

“Wait, Lyla! Open the door.” Without a response, the door opened. “Thanks, Lyla.”

You walked in to the large room to see Miguel sitting up in a chair near the center of the room.

“Miguel, you need to listen to me—“

The sight that met you was so shocking you had to take it in one part at a time.

First, You see Miguel’s side profile as he faces the wall to the left of you. He’s breathing heavy, chest heaving as his hand vigorously moves up and down his— oh. Maybe you came at the wrong time.

With the sudden awkwardness that’s overtaken you, you look somewhere else, anywhere else, only to find the source of what he’s staring at— a video, no, porn. The second piece of the puzzle, you take in the video’s content. First, you just see flashes of skin and hear soft grunts and moans emanating from the screen. But then you realize, the voices sound familiar, really familiar. Then it hits you.

It is you.

And him. The both of you together. And that realization connects all the pieces of the puzzle together. He’s keeping you here, on purpose.

Your eyes dart back to Miguel, who has now abandoned his video in favor of the live view he has right in front of him. He’s shirtless but he still has some grey sweats on, pushed down just enough that he can jerk off. His hands move desperately over his cock, aborted grunts and breathy moans coming out sporadically.

He turned his head to the side, his cheeks flushed and his eyes narrowed with desire. You were frozen, stuck in time. Miguel kept stroking his cock while staring into your eyes. He did this right up until his orgasm overtook him, throwing his head back and jerking his hips upward as he called out your name.

His cum spurted out in waves, once, twice, three times. It was thick and opaque and made a mess all over his lower stomach. He sighed and sank back into his chair.

“Did you enjoy the show?” His voice is low and heady as he calls out to you. It takes you a moment to respond, because admittedly you’re still staring at his— well, his everything, dick included. Still It was a very, very nice, thick, veiny d—“Am I interrupting?”

His teasing knocks you out of your reverie.

“I-I should go.” You said. You’re starting to realize that Lyla might have been right. Maybe you should’ve waited until the morning. You start backing up to leave but Miguel shakes his head and the door shuts behind him.

“No, no, no. See, that’s your problem. You’re always trying to leave,” he chastises.

He stalks towards you, like you’re prey. You move backwards until your back hits the door. He reaches over you, placing an arm over your head and his index finger under your chin, lifting it upwards. He bends down, close enough that you can see even minute details of his face.

He narrows his eyes as he bares his fangs.

“You’re not going anywhere.”

[saerins]

𝑩𝒀 𝑴𝒀 𝑵𝑨𝑴𝑬

dabi x reader. cw: they smoke, timeline is before dabi revealed who he was, mentions of death, very suggestive.

notes: for @saeist my beloved <3 i hope i didn’t massacre your boy :’)

“i’m bored,” you whine, sauntering over to the living room where the villain you’re so generously housing (for now) is sat, playstation controller between his palms, thumbs on the buttons, body half-naked leaving nearly nothing to your imagination.

you notice that he’s wearing your ex’s sweats, probably something he fished out of a random closet. but you also notice that dabi makes it look much better.

call yourself screwed up or whatever, but even in this age of impending war between heroes and villains, is it so bad to find dabi so attractive?

“and i’m a villain, what do you want?” dabi states the obvious, barely paying you any mind, eyes glued on the screen, blues and reds bouncing off his face from the game he’s playing.

normally, you’re too cautious to get up in his space, choosing to steer clear of him whenever he’s around. you’re too timid to even bring up the fact that you don’t come from money and it’d be really nice if he could pay some rent! unfortunately today, you’re not. you’ve just had a hell of a bad day, getting disrespected and ridiculed at work, and you’re in the mood for a distraction.

anything, even if it means it has to be dabi.

besides, you’ve been cohabitating for so many months now, he probably won’t kill you, right?

you take a puff from your device, blowing into the space in front of him, obscuring his vision even if just a little. his eyes narrow, turquoise hues flicking up as he sneers at you—but they soften, turning amused when he gets the hint; you’re the kind to wear your heart on your sleeve, it’s easier than normal to guess what you want.

“getting a little stressed out is all it takes for you to come my way?” the wide smirk that graces his face almost takes you aback; it almost makes you feel like he’s any other normal human being and you’re both a normal pair of people flirting.

you lean into it, finding that you don’t want to let go of it. the small glimpses of humanity you see in him are few and far between, and while you know it’s probably you reaching, it’s still intriguing.

“what flavour?” he asks you, nodding towards that little thing in your right palm as you straddle him on the couch, controller tossed to the side and already forgotten, even when the game’s still running. 

mirroring his smirk, you take another slow, long puff, pressing your forehead against his as you exhale, “wanna take a guess?”

dabi watches as you take another puff, eyes staring into his like you could be medusa. and you’re irritating, because there’s no way he can tell whatever’s rolling off of your tongue when you’re this close. you’re saying something, and you’re taking another puff, and everything’s muffled—all the noises are one, and all he can do is stare at your lips, half-lidded with his hands on your waist.

not a thought crosses his mind when his other hand pulls your neck close, his mouth pressing over your own, his eyes glinting with mischief as he inhales whatever’s left inside of you before pulling away and leaving you breathless.

“ew, what is that, peach pop or some shit?” he grimaces, internally chuckling when he sees you mildly horrified thinking he meant otherwise.

you roll your eyes, “excuse you, it’s grape yoghurt and i think it tastes great.” you’re ready to retract the idea of doing anything with dabi, moving to get off of him when his firm grip around your waist tightens, pulling you back.

“mmmm,” he hums, low and raspy and it’s like you can feel the distance closing in between the two of you. “i wanna know what you taste like without all that bubblegum coating though.”

is it possible for just simple words to heighten your emotions like this?

dabi doesn’t even let you get any words out before his palms slip under your shirt, so rough and so different but so welcome. he makes quick work of flipping you so that your back hits the couch, his body hovering over you.

when you’re forced to look at him like this, you can tell so much more than when you stare at him through the tv screen being hailed as an arsonist maniac. like how his eyes are so blue and how the black dye in his hair is falling off in some places. his body is more purple than normal, and you wonder just what he had been through to turn out like this.

his lips come up to yours, only for it to be stopped by your index finger coming in between. he tilts his head to the side, an amused grunt leaving his lips. “i don’t get a taste?”

“you will,” you assure him, but not before you get to be a little selfish. “once you tell me your name.”

“you know my name.”

“your real name.”

dabi sighs, rolling his eyes and getting off of you, relegating back to his original position and ignoring you.

annoyed, you take another puff and blow it at him, his jaw clenching in irritation.

“you waltz in here one day demanding either i leave or put you up, you refuse to tell me why or who you were but thank god for the news one day that reported on you and the other people in the league, i’ve never reported you or asked you anything until now and you still refuse to tell me?” you recount, giving a dramatic sigh as you sit up. you put on a pout knowing that he can still see you out of the corner of his eye. “give me something, dabi.”

feeling particularly bold today, your fingers trail a line down his arms. you can feel the heat radiating off of him and you can’t tell what it means, whether it’s just a bodily reaction to your words or if he’s about to blow this place to ashes.

but the next thing you know, he’s pushing you back down on the couch, his lips on yours and he’s kissing you this time, barely letting you catch your breath. are you crazy if you think this is him telling you not to go? your hands come up around his neck, careful with the way you touch his skin, and you’re considered breathless once again when you hear him breathe a name into your mouth.

“touya.”

he pulls away for a few seconds after that, and you let it sink in. he only says it once, probably because there’s some story attached to his real identity that he doesn’t like. and it’s enough for you.

“that enough for you?” he asks, though he doesn’t wait for an answer, hands pawing at your shirt before he removes it.

he’s not sure why he even told you his name. he’s not sure why he hasn’t burnt you to ashes like countless others. he’s not sure why you’re so addictive somehow—why this one interaction is enough to make him feel some sort of relief.

but he knows one thing: if it isn’t a sin, could he keep you?

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Imagine...Discovering Soldier Boy's Secret

Pairing: Soldier Boy x reader

Warnings: language

_______

You were exhausted when you finally got home. Work had been long and stressful. On top of that, you’d needed to hit the grocery store afterwords since you were down to basics. You were so flippin’ tired though that the second you had everything put away, you pulled out your phone and ordered a pizza with some sides.

You had a good thirty minutes before it’d arrive and you figured you’d put on something relaxing, maybe find where Ben was. His car was in the driveway and all his shoes were by the door so he was around there somewhere. 

Five minutes later you were in a pair of joggers, a bralette and one of Ben’s black t-shirts. The man only wore black, gray or navy blue shirts and jeans when he wasn’t in his uniform. You couldn’t blame the guy too much for not caring about fashion but you were hoping someday he might spice things up with a little color.

While in the bedroom, you noticed the bathroom door was shut which was strange. You always left it open unless someone was taking a shower. But you didn’t hear anything going inside.

“Ben are-” you said, pausing halfway with the door open. Welp, you’d found where he was.

Which was apparently sitting in your large soaker tub with a mountain of bubbles surrounding him.

He was taking a goddamn bubble bath. Your Ben. Your Soldier Boy. Your favorite arrogant asshole.

He seemed stuck, eyes a few fractions too wide, unblinking as you stared back at him, the scent of lavender and vanilla filling the room.

“Are-” You stared when he shot his hand up out of the water, pointing it at you like you you’d just run over his puppy.

“Not. A. Word.” You knew better than to aggravate him, at least right now. You slowly closed the door and went downstairs, throwing on a home renovation show. Ben didn’t appear until after the food came, decked out in a pair of flannel pajama pants and a red t-shirt. Okay, it was more maroon than anything but still. You’d bought it for him six months ago and hung it next to the other dozen colorful shirts you wondered if he’d ever wear. 

You stared at him, Ben ignoring you as he slapped three slices on a plate, plopped down on the couch and started to devour his dinner.

You flipped open the food on the coffee table, filling up your own plate, giving him another look, his own fixated on the screen playing before you.

“Stop staring at me,” he growled. You sunk back into the cushions, eating a few fries before you couldn’t help it.

“So.”

“Y/N…”

“Bubble baths.” He audibly growled, giving you a stern look to drop it. “You know, John Wayne took bubble baths.”

Ben was silent, angrily ripping off his crust with a large bite.

“Even if he didn’t, I think it’s nice.” Ben looked ready to bolt away to avoid this conversation but somehow he forced himself to stay seated. “Listen. I know this is going to sound stupid but it makes me feel good knowing you do something for yourself when I’m not around. It makes me feel like maybe you listen to me about the whole you’re deserving of nice things even though you’re a guy.”

Ben’s chewing was less infused with anger, all you’d get out of him that he was actually practicing a bit of self-care. 

“Want a beer?” you said, standing up. He grunted as you walked around the couch, ruffling his damp hair. “You look handsome in that color.”

The corner of his lip ticked up for a split second but you caught it. He was happy, at ease and that was more than enough for you.

__________

[cevansbrat0007]

Sugar Fix

Summary: Your poor attempt at a joke lands you in hot water with your man. Takes place directly after the events in Sweet Tooth and Sweet Tooth Deluxe.

Warnings: Mature Themes, Smut, Ari Being A Menace, Brat!Reader, Discussions of Poor Body Image, Arguing, Manhandling, Mentions of Punishment, Spanking, Pussy Spanking, Spanking, Oral Sex (fem rec), Cursing, Minors DNI

A/N: Written for @writer84. Part of my Sweet Renegades Series. Semi-proofread, not beta'd. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!

“God, that was good.” You lean back in your seat, lazily stretching your arms over your head. Your man smiles as he dutifully picks up your plate before briefly giving into temptation long enough to press a tender kiss against your lips. 

“Mm.” Ari hums low in his throat as he repeats the action once more. “Glad you enjoyed it, baby. Still find it hard to believe that you’d never had chocolate chip pancakes before today.”

“Hey! You promised you wouldn’t make fun of me.” You pout, reaching out to swat his perfectly sculpted ass, which was now unfortunately hiding beneath a pair of black sweatpants. At least he’d forgotten to put on a shirt.

Mostly because you were wearing it. 

“And I’m not.” Your man chuckles while adding your dishes to the growing pile in your sink. “I’d never do something so foolish. Especially since we only just made up.” He tosses a wink at you over his shoulder. 

Yeah, and that was mostly your fault.

“I am really sorry about that.” You murmur, feeling a twinge of regret over having subjected your man to several days of the silent treatment. “I should’ve talked to you about that whole business with Charline.” 

“Water under the bridge, baby.” 

Resting your chin on your hand, you watch as your bounty hunter busies himself with filling the sink with hot water and dish soap. Some days it still floored you that you were seeing a man who didn’t put up a fuss about cooking. Or cleaning for that matter.  

“I just meant that I’m in no hurry to have you toss me out on my ass again just yet.” He continues while sudsing up one of the new sponges you’d left laying on the counter. “That’s all I was saying, little Bird.”

“Well that wouldn’t be very hospitable of me, now would it?” You’re quick to counter, allowing your gaze to drop to your bare knees. “Seeing as you were kind enough to break into my home and cook me breakfast.”

“I had a key.” He snorts dismissively. 

“Yeah, one that you stole!” You fire back, doing your best to hide your grin. “From me!”

“What the hell does any of that matter if you were already gonna–” He cuts himself off with a shake of his head before deciding to change tactics. “Look sweetheart, if you wanna argue about semantics can you at least wait until we’re both naked?” 

“I guess so.” Comes your breezy reply as you fiddle with the hem of Ari’s t-shirt. Granted the fit was much too big for you, but it didn’t change the fact that you loved how wearing it made you feel. There really was something to be said for being surrounded by the heady scent of your man. 

“Thank you.” Ari grunts before returning his attention to the stack of dishes in need of a good scrub. “Did you have enough to eat? Can’t have you wastin’ away on me.”

“Sure did.” You beam at him, content to sit back and enjoy the view. No man should be allowed to look that flippin’ sexy while doing simple household chores.

“Good.”

“To be honest, I didn’t even realize I was that hungry until I took that first bite. I suppose that’s what I get for not really eating…” You trail off when Ari turns toward you, his piercing blue eyes locking with yours. “...much over the last couple days.” 

Your pulse speeds up as you watch your Bounty Hunter brace his still-wet hands on the edge of the counter. Which is when you belatedly realize that you probably should’ve kept that tidbit of information to yourself. 

“Little Bird?” 

“Yes, sugar?” You can’t help but wince at the way he says your name. Even still, you decide to stand up, hoping to distract him from the direction his thoughts were taking. “Want some help drying those plates? Because I don’t mind–”

“When was the last time you ate something?” He cocks his head to the side, almost like he’s studying you while he waits for your answer. “And before you get cute on me, baby, I’m talkin’ about before today.”

You can feel yourself physically wilt as you weigh your options. While you tended to believe that honesty was the best policy, sometimes being too honest had the tendency to get you in trouble with your man. 

“I had some toast the other–”

“A full meal.” Ari swiftly interrupts, clearly not in the mood to mince words.

“Well, if you really must know…” Crossing your arms over your chest, you prepare to stand your ground. “I haven’t found myself with much of an appetite lately.” You sniff, ignoring the way his nostrils flare. “Probably on account of our tiff.”

Okay, now that was absolutely true. Because whether this man realized it or not, he had a knack for always making sure you ate at least one proper meal before the day’s end. With him out of the picture, you hadn’t really had any desire to eat. 

Instead of responding, Ari turns to stare out the window, quietly sucking on his teeth as he does. You knew without asking that he was working to rein in his temper before he spoke again, lest he say the wrong thing and start another fight.  

“C’mon Beast, it’s really not a big deal.” You shrug, biting your thumb as will him to cast a glance your way. “Besides, I’m pretty sure these hips could stand to miss a meal or two.” 

While it was certainly a poor attempt at levity, you felt that one of you had to do something to lighten the mood. You startle when Ari suddenly throws down the sponge into the sink, sending water splashing everywhere. 

You watch him slowly dry his hands with a nearby towel before tossing it aside in favor of bridging the distance between you. Good sense and the need for self-preservation has you backing up; however, you scarcely make it two steps before you feel your butt collide with your kitchen table. But your bounty hunter doesn’t stop moving until he’s standing directly in front of you.

“What was that?” He asks without an ounce of friendliness in his tone. In fact, his question comes out sounding more like a dare than anything else. “I reckon I’m a little hard of hearing these days.”

Later, you would kick yourself for taking the bait. 

“Ahem.” Clearing your throat, you can’t help but notice the clench of his jaw. “I said that these hips – my hips – could probably stand to miss a meal.” You repeat, giving him your best prim and proper tone. 

Sometimes the facts weren’t up for discussion. 

Moving with a speed that belies his size, Ari manages to wrap one brawny arm around your waist before using his considerable strength to pin you face down against the kitchen table. Shocked by this sudden mistreatment, you open your mouth fully prepared to protest, only to snap it shut the moment you feel a cool breeze ghost across your bare backside. 

“Try again, sweetheart.” The lawman grunts before delivering a hearty smack to your ass, eliciting a rather undignified screech from you. “Oh? I’m afraid I still didn’t quite catch that.” 

“There’s no need to act like a brute!” You cry as you struggle against his impossible hold. “It’s not right for you to–ahh fuck!” You damn near lose it when his heavy palm connects with your traitorous cunt, the sound of the wet slap echoing throughout the room. 

In that very moment, that sweet bite of pain had never felt so good.   

“Ah, sweetness.” Ari coos, a hint of mocking laughter curling around his tone. “Could’ve sworn I’d fucked some sense into you earlier this morning. Are you tellin’ me my work still isn’t done?” 

You think back to something he’d said when he was busy fucking you senseless. He’d said, or snarled as it were, that you needed a Sir or a Daddy to help keep you in line. At the time you’d assumed that he’d simply got caught up in the heat of the moment. But now… 

Apparently it takes you too long to answer because his next smack has you rising on your toes.  You clench your thighs together, desperate to ignore your body’s response. Although it does little to stop your man from wedging a proprietary hand between them anyway.

“Now is not the time to go quiet on me, little Bird.”

He gently cups your most intimate flesh before expertly parting your messy folds with his thick fingers. A soft cry escapes when he lightly pinches your swollen clit, making your hips buck. 

Sweet Christ! You honestly had no idea just how much you actually enjoyed being manhandled until you crossed paths with this guy. 

“All I was trying to do was answer your question!” You grit out, doing your best to ignore the filthy wet squelch of his palm colliding against your core once more, causing a fresh wave of arousal to dampen your thighs.  

“And I didn’t much care for your answer.” Ari hums, taking a moment to lazily pet your now glistening cunt. 

And who’s fault was that? Just because the man thought he owned the rights to your body didn’t give him the authority to…to…punish you like this. But when you inform him of that, the only response you get comes in the form of an annoying chuckle. 

“I was joking, damn you – ooh!” You whine, stomping your foot for good measure – both of which manages to earn you another spank. 

“But that’s just it, baby.” He rumbles, taking a break from further abusing your poor, overworked flesh. “Last I checked, jokes were supposed to be funny.” You press your face against the cool surface of the table as two sinful fingers playfully tease your entrance. “And talking shit about these curves ain’t funny, right?”

“Y-yes! I mean right.” In need of a little relief, you attempt to entice your man by wiggling your ass. But instead of doing as you bid, those same fingers soon find their way back to your swollen bundle of nerves, pinching just hard enough to get and hold your attention.

“Glad you think so.” He murmurs, leaning down to brush his lips along the sensitive shell of your ear as his free hand moves to rub soothing circles along your lower back. “And since I’ve finally got you in the mood to listen, how about we talk about something else?” 

Instead of responding, you merely nod – giving him leave to get whatever the hell he wanted off of his perfectly sculpted chest.  

“The next time you get the bright idea to shut me out without givin’ me a chance to plead my case, you had better do a damned good job respecting this gorgeous body while I’m on ice.” The air of danger in Ari’s husky purr has goosebumps rippling along your heated flesh. “Because if you don’t, I swear to God the moment you let me back in, I’m gonna do a lot more than spank this pretty pussy. You get me?”

Still unable to form words, you decide to let your body do the talking. Groaning low in your throat, you arch your hips and wiggle your ass, purposely grinding your cunt against his now drenched palm. 

“Ah, sweetheart.” He rasps in approval, gently nipping your earlobe with his sharp teeth. “You get me. Yeah, you do.” 

As a reward for your submission, Ari takes pity on you by slowly spearing his fingers inside your sopping wet core. Now it’s his turn to groan when he feels your velvety walls flutter around him, eagerly sucking him back in when he tries to pull out. 

“Fuck if my girl ain’t got a greedy fucking pussy.” Your bounty hunter muses, more to himself than to you. “Are you sore? Need me to let you rest some more?” 

In all reality, what he really wanted to do was splay you out on the table and kiss your puffy pussy lips until you were a sobbing, trembling mess. But he’d also settle for burying himself balls deep inside of you too.

Regardless of which one he chose, they both all but guaranteed that you’d remember this particular lesson for days to come. Because no one was allowed to talk shit about his beautiful Bird – not even you.  

“Want you to fill me up again.” You tell him, meaning every word even as his expert touch threatens to rob you of breath. “Help me work up an appetite. Please, Sir.” You tack on the last bit, hoping that might be enough to tip your man over the edge. 

Your now frantic pulse sings to new heights when you’re treated to the sound of Ari’s sweatpants hitting the floor behind you. Apparently he felt that you’d been punished long enough – something for which you were grateful. 

You can’t help but whine when he finally removes his fingers, leaving your empty walls clenching around nothing but air. Anticipation fills you while you wait, expecting to feel the bulbous head of his cock glide its way through your slippery folds. 

However, you’re surprised when he drops to his knees instead. His large, slightly calloused hands grip the backs of your thighs, forcing your legs apart just enough to make his intentions clear. 

“How ‘bout you feed me first, greedy girl?” He growls, possessively nuzzling his nose along the soft skin of your inner thigh. “I have a feeling I’m gonna need all my strength to help your stubborn ass work up a proper appetite.”

“Oo-okaay!” Your legs threaten to give out when Ari’s wide, flat tongue begins lapping at your damp flesh, making a show of savoring your sweet honey. He holds you in place while he feasts, his subtle use of strength letting you know that your only job was to keep still and submit to his sensual assault. 

“Mm...” Ari rumbles, enjoying every desperate little whine and whimper that makes its way past your lips. "Best meal I've had in days." Forgoing his need to breathe, he fully buries his head between your thighs, content to eat you from the back as if he had all the time in the world.

Which he did, especially now that make-up sex was once again back on the menu. 

END

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[whocaresstillthelouvre]

girldad!joel

Hi, it's me thinking about Sarah's dad Joel Miller again. I've been seeing the wonderful headcanons floating around and I just couldn't get all of these sweet images out of my head.

girldad!joel holding a band in between his lips as he keeps glancing down at a magazine tutorial on how to style Sarah’s hair for her first school dance. “It wouldn’t hurt if you just stopped squirming baby girl.”

girldad!joel taking the day off from work to chaperone Sarah’s class field trip to the farm. He sits on the bus, his broad body takes up a whole seat. He gives Sarah her space but she just can’t help hanging with him the whole day. 

girldad!joel wrapping presents on Christmas Eve and lining them up under the tree, stepping back and being proud of how many gifts he can buy his little girl. 

girldad!joel picking Beauty and the Beast to watch for movie night because he feels a lot like Maurice, a single father who would do anything for his spunky, smart daughter.

girldad!joel pouring two bowls of cereal and joining Sarah on the couch for cartoons on Saturday morning. He relishes these lazy mornings, even if Sarah almost always spills milk on the couch.

girldad!joel grocery shopping, trying to stick within his budget but allowing the splurge of Ben & Jerry’s chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and a teeny bopper magazine for Sarah because she’s always such a big help.

girldad!joel dropping Sarah off for her first day of kindergarten, telling her she’s such a big girl and how proud he is of her. He only allows himself to feel a sense of pride that he’s taking good care of his baby girl after he steps up into his truck and is alone. A single tear wells in his eye before he starts the engine and drives to work. 

girldad!joel wearing a cheap plastic tiara and not being able to fit the acrylic ring around his thick finger while sitting around the coffee table and playing Pretty Pretty Princess with Sarah.  

girldad!joel taking Sarah to the hardware store to pick out the perfect color for her big girl bedroom. She sleeps in his bed that night while the paint dries, Joel stays up relishing the feel of her little, warm body against his because he knows it’ll probably be the last time he can hold his baby girl as she falls asleep. 

girldad!joel letting Sarah pick the music in his truck, his cheeks turning pink when she starts to tease him that he actually *does* like the new boy band song. 

girldad!joel putting the little WORLD'S BEST DAD trophy keychain Sarah bought him at the school Christmas store on his keys.

girldad!joel nervously stammering through asking Sarah if she needs any “uh… pads or… hmm… tampons” before he leaves for the store feeling slightly embarrassed at how she rolls her eyes at his embarrassment and tells him she’s good. 

girldad!joel eating all of the marshmallows Sarah burns before she toasts the perfect one for her smore. 

girldad!joel waking up on Saturday morning exhausted from a long week of work guzzling coffee down while he helps Sarah get ready for her soccer game. 

girldad!joel looking up from all of his invoices and complimenting Sarah’s newest colored coloring page while they sit at the dining room table. 

girldad!joel helping Sarah learn to ride her bike, which she easily learns. He takes a giant breath when he watches her pedal away without his help. She’s getting so big.

girldad!joel folding laundry on the couch while watching the Rangers game, he gets a little emotional thinking about how much bigger Sarah’s clothes are now. He fondly remembers folding her onesies and pajamas when he was just an overwhelmed single father of a baby.

girldad!joel wearing the BEST FLIPPIN’ DAD apron Sarah bought him while preparing Thanksgiving dinner for her and Tommy. Boxed mashed potatoes, Stove Top stuffing, jarred gravy, canned cranberries, canned yams with lots of marshmallows on top, Jiffy cornbread, and a turkey that might be a little too dry. Sarah thinks all of it is delicious and saves extra room for grocery store bakery baked pumpkin pie with extra whipped cream. 

girldad!joel stuffing Easter eggs with candy and coins and hiding them all over the house while Sarah sleeps. He cheekily acts shocked when she finds the hidden golden egg with $5 stuffed inside. “Wow baby girl! That’s a lot of money!” 

girldad!joel swearing to himself while putting together a Barbie Dream House for Sarah’s birthday. His frustration grows when part 3C won’t plug into wall 4A. 

girldad!joel dropping Sarah off at Uncle Tommy’s for a sleepover before his first actual date in ten years. Tommy wishes him good luck as he grabs Sarah’s pink backpack from him, Joel can tell his brother’s nervous for him. He’s nervous as hell too. 

girldad!joel shyly letting you know that he has a young daughter, hoping you don’t run away because he really likes you. His heart beats rapidly when you give him a warm smile and ask about her. 

girldad!joel taking Sarah out for ice cream, both of them sitting on the tailgate of his truck. He sucks in a bracing breath before telling her how he’s met somebody who he really likes. She turns, mint chocolate chip green all over her mouth and smiles a wide grin telling him how excited she is and that finally he found someone who could deal with him. 

Also, imagine Joel listening to "Robin" by Taylor Swift. You got the dragonflies above your bed You have a favorite spot on the swing set You have no room in your dreams for regrets You have no idea The time will arrive for the cruel and the mean You'll learn to bounce back just like your trampoline But now we'll curtail your curiosity In sweetness

[clawsdevour]

˗ˏˋ akaashi husband hcs

wc: 0.4k content warning: post-time skip, fluff, so flippin husband, not proofread

ˊ˗ ↷

-Akaashi, the type of husband to wake up earlier to make his daily dose of coffee. While he's at it, he'd also make you your own cup. He'd know what to put in and just how much sugar to add to get the taste right for your cravings.

-Akaashi, the type of husband to love doing simple things for you. He'd especially love to cook you your favorite meals, putting care into every step of the meal. Akaashi would have you taste test it before it's officially finished to know if it suits your tastes before serving it.

-Akaashi, the type of husband to use you as inspiration behind his work. Whenever he has to describe a love interest, he often thinks about you and writes the details that explain what he sees in you. His favorite words would be those that sound all nice and warm.

-Akaashi, the type of husband to love snuggling with you on the couch. He'd love tight hugs where you put all your body weight onto him, making him feel secure knowing that you're in his arms. His hands would also stroke your hair.

-Akaashi, the type of husband to enjoy having your head around his arm while you drift off to bed. He'd like to play with your hair, tucking all the loose strands behind your ear while giving you gentle kisses and gazing at your peaceful face.

-Akaashi, the type of husband to genuinely love your presence. It doesn't matter if the room is silent or if you're just sitting next to each other on the couch watching TV. He loves spending every moment with you.

-Akaashi, the type of husband to love putting on slow songs that echo in your house to slow dance with you. He enjoys the ambient and intimate atmosphere with just the small and cute gesture that only you two are able to experience.

-Akaashi, the type of husband to love whenever the weather gets colder because it gives him a reason to lend you his coat. He loves seeing you in his oversized jacket. Also he'd hold your hands in his own pockets to heat them up, tracing little circles onto your skin.

-Akaashi, the type of husband to enjoy more simple dates. He'd love little walks in the park, setting down the blanket onto a nice flat area for a cute picnic. Akaashi enjoys being in the moment especially with you.

-Akaashi, the type of husband to definitely prefer more private moments with you. But he for sure tells everyone about you, when it comes to his friends he's absolutely going to update them on what you guys are currently thinking about, such as housing or expanding your family.

masterlist here

[dixons-sunshine]

Plus Four | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

The air was tense. It was thick. One could cut through the air with one of Daryl’s hunting knives. Death glares were being passed around like popsicles on a hot day. You were well aware of the fact that your next actions would make or break the strong familial bonds you’ve made with the people sitting around the table in the prison you all shared.

Daryl sent you a threatening look, although you could see that there was no real anger behind it. He was more pleading than anything else. “Don’ even dare.”

You sent him an apologetic look. “I’m so sorry. I have to.” You placed the small card down on the pile in front of you, an extremely prominent ‘plus four’ in the corner. “Uno.”

Daryl threw his cards down in frustration. “C’mon! I can’t deal with this shit no more. Y’all teamin’ up on me or somethin’?”

From the other side of the table, Carol, Michonne and Rick laughed at Daryl’s dramatics—although Rick definitely hadn’t been laughing a few minutes prior when he had gotten hit by a chain of ‘plus two’s’. In fact, he had reacted the exact same way Daryl was reacting.

“Lighten up, Daryl.” Rick adjusted his cards in his hands. “I’m sure you’ll win the next round.”

“Fuck off, Rick,” Daryl grumbled under his breath, reluctantly picking up his cards again, and adding four cards to his already humongous pile. “We’re gon’ need marriage counselin’ after this. Ain’t too sure we can recover from this without professional help.”

You laughed and placed a hand on your partner’s shoulder, gently rubbing it in the hopes to bring him some comfort. “I’m sorry, Dar. I really am.”

Daryl scoffed and shook his head. “Yeah, so ya keep tellin’ me. S’the third ‘plus four’ ya’ve given me this whole game. S’fuckin’ ridiculous.”

Michonne laughed and leaned back in her chair. She was the first person to finish the game, and was closely followed by Carol. The two women found the whole situation immensely amusing. “Come on, guys,” Michonne mused out loud. “We’re getting bored over here. We wanna move over to monopoly.”

“Good lord, then we’re all gonna need counseling,” you laughed and shook your head. “You’re gonna need to strap me down if I end up in jail or else I’m gonna flip the table.”

“M’close to flippin’ the table over this stupid ass game. Ain’t too sure how m’gonna react once we move over to monopoly.” Daryl sighed and dropped his head to the table. “I have a feelin’ this game s’gon’ go on for a whole year. I might jus’ fold and go to bed.”

“You can’t do that, Babe,” you told him playfully, before moving forward to whisper in his ear. “Finish this and play a round of monopoly with us, and I promise we’ll do something more fun than board games. How does that sound?”

Daryl lifted his head from the table and straightened his back at your promise. He cleared his throat and stared at Rick expectantly. “I believe s’yer turn, no?”

Rick nodded and continued with the game. Michonne leaned over to you and whispered to you questioningly. “Well, that was a quick switch up. What did you tell him?”

You smirked and shrugged. “Oh, nothing. I just wouldn’t come into our room without knocking first tonight.”

Michonne’s eyes widened, before she shook her head and chuckled. “Well, that’s certainly one way to motivate him.”

“Oh, you don’t know the half of it.”