#flint was about to add “nobody should swear

[incorrect-tit-quotes]

Flint: Women should not swear-

Trash: Get fucked.

[bronzeflower]

Poultry Man Saves the Day

Note that this is also on ao3

Chickens. Eggs. Yolks. Uh…what other words were chicken related? Wings? White? Like the white of an egg? Was that too much of a stretch? What puns could even be made using the word white?

He slaved over a book and quill, conjuring a list of words that could be peppered into a certain superhero’s speech. A certain...man in a chicken costume.

Eggcellent, Eggciting, Eggtravagant, Eggcruciating, Yolking, Eggsplosion, Chickening out, Eggilouge, Eggscalating…

Honestly, there weren’t that many puns there, which was pretty pitiful. What kind of chicken-themed superhero didn’t have chicken-themed puns? He wasn’t exactly pulling these puns out of his ass! There was actual thought put into them!

“Grian! Grian! Oh, where is that guy? Grian!” A voice floated around his base, and Grian snapped his book and quill shut, hiding it in his inventory to prevent anyone from reading it.

“Mumbo? Is that you?” Grian called out, sneaking out of The Coop and looking for Mumbo who was wandering around the base in a desperate attempt to find Grian.

“Oh! Grian! There you are, bud.” Mumbo placed a hand on Grian’s shoulder, practically using him a support as he leaned over slightly and panted in exhaustion. Egghaustion. There was another pun to add to the list.

But this wasn’t about puns.

“Mumbo, what’s wrong?” Grian questioned. Mumbo looked more exhausted than he would’ve been normally if he only just rushed over here. Something was up.

Mumbo took a moment to gather his breath before responded.

“It’s something I’ve, I’ve never seen before in Minecraft. I don’t think it was in an update-I would have heard about it if that was the case because this is, this is huge-I’ve never even seen anything like it, I don’t even know if I can describe it-none of us can even do anything about it-”

“Mumbo!” Grian interrupted. “What is it? And why didn’t you message me about such an emergency?”

“I needed time to recuperate from fighting, and I needed to make sure that you were actually able to arrive and be properly prepared. A bunch of the other hermits are currently fighting, but we need more firepower.”

“What are we up against? What is so terrible?”

“You’re gonna think I’m crazy for saying this, but I promise I’m being completely serious,” Mumbo paused for a moment. “We’re facing up against a giant worm.”

“We’re facing off against a worm?”

“I know it sounds insane, but it has a tough outer coating, and it’s digging into the ground and destroying so many things in its path. Not only is it causing a bunch of lag, but it’s also not taking any damage from our blows.”

“Nothing is working?” Grian asked desperately.

“We’ve tried swords, bows, crossbows, and we even tried other tools like axes and shovels! I hit it with a hoe! A hoe! An absolutely ludicrous diamond hoe!”

“What about other things? TNT? Sand? Redstone contraptions? Anvils? Fire? Drowning? I don’t know-fall damage? Potions?”

“We’ve done pretty much all of of that, even used both potions of weakness and regeneration to see if that would hurt it, but neither have worked,” Mumbo frantically rambled. “It drills through blocks like a Haste V pickaxe used nearby a beacon, and it absolutely refuses to go into the water. It’s pretty much impossible to get it high enough in the air to get it to take fall damage, and it doesn’t stand still long enough for redstone or anvils, and I swear it has an outer shell made out of obsidian! Nothing is working!”

“Then, what can I do if no one else can do anything?” Grian inquired.

“I, I don’t know. I don’t know. Uh, I guess there wasn’t any particular reason, but I figured the more heads we have to think about how we can beat this thing, the better chance we have of actually doing damage to it. My brain is dead, and most of the hermits are too busy fighting to think of anything.”

“I...I don’t know if I could come up with anything better than what you guys have been coming up with.”

“Grian, at this point, anything would be better than what we have been coming up because what we have been coming up with has been nothing.”

Mumbo looked hopeless. Grian was trying to calculate what would be most effective against a giant, invincible worm.

Grian began pacing.

“Alright, so tools, tools- sword, pickaxe, shovel, axe, hoe, bow, crossbow, trident, I don’t know, a flint and steel? Shears? Come on, brain, what would a worm be weak against? What hasn’t been tried by the other hermits? What hasn’t been considered yet? Snowballs? Blazes take damage against those. What about it, Mumbo, have you guys tried snowballs?”

There was a moment of silence as Mumbo went through all the strategies they had used against the worm.

“I don’t think we have. But, in case that doesn’t work, we should think of another strategy.”

Mumbo messaged the other hermits to tell them to try snowballs. Because if nothing else was working, they might as well.

Grian went to his array of Shulker boxes and chests to see if there was anything in there that could help.

The sounds of frantic opening and closing chests filled the base like the chests were the instruments and the base was the theater, creating a symphony of music that sounded less like a beautiful melody and more like that part of the concert where all the instruments were trying to tune. Except in this case, the melody never comes, and the audience is stuck with the out of tune strings of the violins.

Grian opened and closed yet another chest before freezing. He opened the chest again, staring at its contents before closing again. He opened it up again as if the items that resided inside were simply something that he dreamed up.

“What about fishing rods?”

“What?” Mumbo responded. “Say that again?”

“What about fishing rods? Have you guys used any fishing rods yet?” Grian repeated. “It’s a worm, isn’t it?”

“Oh my god. Oh my god!” Mumbo held his head in his hands. “How could’ve I been so stupid! Oh my god! How did we forget fishing rods!? Fucking fishing rods! Oh my god. I’ve...I’ve got to get a bunch of fishing rods.”

With that, Mumbo flew out of Grian’s base, as gracefully as ever, as Grian thought about ways to help.

There were many questions bouncing around Grian’s head. The most notable one was why nobody opted to notify him of this emergency until now. Did they not want him to help? Was it because he was the new guy? Or was it because they needed a person who wasn’t fighting to get resources? If they needed someone to get resources, why not inform him that they needed them?

Perhaps these questions were better left unanswered. Perhaps helping out wasn’t really a job for Grian.

He looked around the base, making sure no one was around when he went towards the center nearby the beacon and threw a trident at the ground.

He fell down and was face to face with the costume he thought he had retired. But it looked like it was time for the one and only Poultry Man to shine. Afterall, chickens ate worms for breakfast.

He donned the wings, then the leather pants dyed white and the yellow leather boots. Finally, he placed the chicken head over his own head and gathered up enough chicken eggs to fill up practically his entire inventory, saving room for rockets, food, and a fishing rod.

Poultry Man flew out of The Coop and gathered information about the worm was before flying over to the given coordinates as quickly as he could.

Why hide behind the mask? Was it the shame? The embarrassment? A vague attempt to grasp for glory but solely for a persona?

Poultry Man didn’t know. All he knew is that he had a job to do.

The damage was devastating. The lands were ravaged, and Poultry Man was hard pressed to find any area that was untouched.

He eventually got to the point where there was an insane amount of lag. And, there Poultry Man saw the worm.

It wasn’t quite in motion because of the lag. It was more like snapshots of a camera, clicking off randomly and without warning.

There were other hermits around, hooking fishing rods into the worm. It did seem to do some damage, but everyone knew that fishing rods did almost nothing.

So Poultry Man whipped out his eggs and began throwing them.

Even though chickens in Minecraft only ate seeds, real life chickens did eat worms, and to Grian’s surprise, the eggs were actually doing damage to the worm.

Poultry Man, however,  was filled with certainty. There was no doubt in his mind that this would work.

He just kept throwing eggs. Other hermits like Stress joined him in throwing eggs at their shared enemy.

Eventually, Poultry Man ran out of eggs.

He dropped down next to what might have been thousands of chickens, many of which were still baby chicks, but there were some that were adults.

Poultry Man watched in awe as the normally passive chickens began attacking the worm, successfully doing damage to it.

But he wasn’t dumbstruck for long, gathering more eggs from the adult chickens and shooting them out towards the worm.

Poultry Man could see why Mumbo went to Grian in person. There was hardly a moment of time when anyone could message anyone, especially given the amount of lag the worm caused. Not that he was helping much with that.

Poultry Man was probably making the lag worse, but that didn’t really matter too much because the chickens seemed to be doing some pretty substantial damage to the worm, much more than the eggs Poultry Man threw at it, and certainly more than the fishing rods people cast towards it.

Not to mention that the chickens were unaffected by the lag. Truly, they were the most powerful sources on the server.

At long last, the worm perished.

There was a silence. Only the clucking of chickens remained.

And then there was cheering.

“Thank god!” Iskall shouted. “I was so tired of fighting that thing.”

“I still can’t believe that we forgot about fishing rods.” Mumbo mentioned.

“I always knew chickens were great.” Stress said. “Thanks , Grian!”

“It’s Poultry Man!”

“Yeah, sure-Thanks for saving us, Poultry Man!”

“I’m just doing my duty as the hero of Hermitcraft,” Poultry Man emphasized his statement by throwing a few eggs obtained from the many chickens surrounding him.

After celebrating the victory, many of the hermits shouldered the responsibility of killing the chickens that were now lagging the server, who were infinitely easier to defeat than the giant worm.

Poultry Man returned to The Coop to relax. He removed his boots, then his pants, then his wings before finally removing the chicken head he wore. He returned the uniform to its rightful place.

He sat down and returned to thinking up potential chicken puns.

[oldassfuck]

Hi how are you?? , I wanted to request a sirius imagine where is best friends with the reader and start dating but he hurts her and she after feeling awful start haging with lucios and his gang , and then sirius goes crazy for jealousy and because his worry about her and them changing her

@fashionlive15 I am very well thank you very much!

I love your request and sorry it took me pretty long to answer! Please leave feedback because it helps me improve my work :)

xoxo,

  Fay

Perfect

Pairing: young!sirius black x reader

Requested: obv

Warnings: mild swearing

Word count: 1892

Sirius Black and (Y/N) (Y/L/N) had been best friends sincetheir first year at Hogwarts, and had been dating for the last 3 months.Everyone could agree that they were the hottest couple at Hogwarts.

“Hey love!” she heard her boyfriend’s voice

“Hi Sirius” she said, giving him a peck on the cheek “Areyou going to Hogsmead tomorrow?”

“No, I’ll stay here, enjoy the silence for a while.”

“So you’re going to leave me all alone?” she pouted  

“I know you better than that, besides, you’ll have the restof the gang with you…”

“Fine, but I’ll miss you…” she said

“Who wouldn’t?” he answered cheekily, earning a smack on theshoulder by (Y/N)

“Ok, well, I gotta go to class!”

  Sirius sighed, hisgirlfriend  was a Slytherin, meaning thatthey only had one class together on Fridays, and then, he didn’t get to see herin the afternoon since she had Quiditch practice. It was a weird relationship,since, because of his family, he never would’ve guessed that they could’ve beensuch good friends, let alone dating. But she had indeed stole his heart. Therest of the marauders had accepted her as one of them too, since she became ananimangus with them to help Remus with his ‘furry little problem’.

“So, Sirius won’t be coming tomorrow at Hogsmead, huh?”asked Hazel Kovu, a Ravenclaw in her age

“What my boyfriend does, or doesn’t do, is his business, andhis business alone” she answered “Now, if you wouldn’t mind, I’m going to class”

“Are you okay, I saw you talking to Kovu…” said Isla(pronounced Ai-la), one of her best friends at school

“Yeah, she was just asking about Sirius, again”  

“Oh god, what does she want with him now?”

“Nothing, she was just eavesdropping, and heard that he’ll  be staying here tomorrow”

“That can’t be good…” sighed Isla, and (Y/N) nodded “so, we’restill going tomorrow right?”

“Of course, with the rest of the marauders”

“Yup, now come on, we’ll be late for class”

-

  (Y/N), Isla, James,Remus and Peter had a great time at Hogsmead. They went to Honeydukes, to buysweets, they bought book, quils, and last but not least they visited Zonko’sJoke Shop, to buy pranking supplies.

“I’m going to head back now.” Said (Y/N)

“What? Why?” asked remus

“I just feel bad for leaving Sirius all alone”

“Fine, but I’m staying” said Isla and the rest of the boysnodded

  (Y/N) headed backto the castle alone, not being able to wait any longer to spend some time alonewith her boyfriend. Or so she thought.

 She arrived at thecastle, and headed towards the Gryffindor common room, she wasn’t sure how shewas going to get in, but she would find a way. She was interrupted though bythe sound of someone laughing, Sirius. She turned around and headed towards thesource of the noise, only to find her boyfriend, Sirius Black, and the personshe hated most, Hazel Kovu, laughing together like some sort of old friends.

“Sirius?” she struggled to keep her voice steady

‘Oh, uh (Y/N), what are you doing here so early?” he asked

“I was hoping to keep you company, but it seems like you gotthat all worked out…” she said, her eyes filling with tears

“Wait, no! (Y/N)!” but he didn’t get a chance to explainsince she ran towards the dungeons.

           He triedto follow her, but a hand stopped him.

“What are you doing?” he asked Hazel

“Come on, is it really worth the trouble?”

“Of course it is!”

“What I meant to say, is that, she didn’t even give you achance to explain yourself, so why should you go running after her?”

“What the hell Kovu, of course I should go after her becauseshe is my girlfriend, but now, thanks to you, she’s already in the slithering commonroom, and I don’t have the password!” he said, while walking away from her

-

(Y/N) had been crying for hours now, of course he had done somethinglike that, why would the infamous Sirius Black date her, when he can have agirl like Hazel Kovu? That’s why he wanted to stay here. ‘Enjoy the silence’ myass! He was cheating on her, plain and simple!

“(Y/N)? What the hell happened?” she heard Isla’s voice

“Sirius was apparently enjoying the silence, alongside withHazel Kovu, that’s what happened!” she said between sobs

“That little bitch! I’ll end him! But, hey, it’s his loss, Imean come on! You’re (Y/N) (Y/L/N)! You’re the best thing that happened to him,and he lost it!”

“Yeah, right! I get it, y’know! I mean, why would he want mewhen he can have Kovu, right? With her long legs, pretty face…”

    Isla couldn’tfind a way to respond to that, because, in fact, Hazel Kovu was one of theprettiest girls in their year, so she just held her best friend as she cried.

-

“I screwed up, Prongs, I screwed up real good…” he said thatnight

“Well, you did! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!” shoutedRemus

“I wasn’t!”

“YEAH, NO SHIT SHELOCK! HOW COULD YOU? AND WITH ISLA KOVU!”shouted James

“I’m sorry! Okay, I just-K didn’t think it was so much of adeal!” said Sirius, his eyes actually filling with tears

“Ok, but you have to do something..” said Peter, his voicesofter realizing how sad Sirius was

-

The next morning, (Y/N) and Isla didn’t sit with themarauders at the Gryffindor table, but at their own table with Lucius Malfoyand the rest of his friends.

“Hey, I heard what happened with you and my brother” said Regulus,Sirius’s brother

“Yeah, well, he’s a douchebag, I think we can all agree, butcan we please talk about something else?”

“Whatever you like, little one.” Said Lucius

“Don’t call me that!” said (Y/N), slapping him playfully onthe arm

“Not our fault you’re so short…” said Regulus, hugging Islasince they were dating

“Whatever” she sais, completely ignoring the Gryffindorcoming towards her

“(Y/N), can we, can we talk?” asked Sirius

“So, how do you guys think you did on Slughorn’s test?” shesaid, ignoring him

“(Y/N)! Please, just let me talk to you!”

“Look, Black, it’s clear she doesn’t want to, now why don’tyou leave before you add us to your list of problems, huh?” said Lucius

“Nobody asked for your opinion, Malfoy, now let me talk tomy girlfriend”

    Just then, Isla jumped of her seat andpunched him square in the nose.

“Now, you can either leave or you can add a black eye inyour collection, alongside with your broken nose” she said

   Sirius sighed andleft.

-

“So, how did it go?” asked James

“Like you didn’t see!” said Sirius “She hates my guts!”

“Well, give her some more time…” said Remus

“And Malfoy and my brother act like they’re her protectorsor something”

“You can’t be jealous of Malfoy, or your brother…” saidPeter

“I am not! I simply don’t like her hanging around with thembecause they’ll change her!”

“Whatever you say mate…”

“Regulus, STOP! You know I’m ticklish!” they heard her voice

   Sirius was fumingwith anger, so James, Remus and Peter stood upn and dragged him out, before hecould do something he would regret

“And, I mean, Isla literally punched me! I though she was myfriend…”

“Well, she was until you cheated on her best friend…”

“I didn’t cheat!”

“We know, but they think you did!”

-

   The day had passedslowly, (Y/N) was ignoring Sirius completely, choosing to hang out with hisbrother, Malfoy and some other guys. And Sirius was practically mad withjealousy. That’s how the rest of the week went, until, on Tuesday, Sirius couldn’ttake it anymore.

“I miss her so damn much, Prongs! How the hell did I manageto do this!”

“We know, look, Pads, at this stage, just speaking to herwon’t do! You have to do something big…” said James, sighing. Over the courseof that week, one minute couldn’t go by without Sirius declaring how much hemissed her. He was a mess, dark  cirlesunder his eyes, messy hair, and he wasn’t eating properly!

-

“I miss him so much Isla” said (Y/N)

“I know, maybe you should give him a chance to explain toyou what happened?” Isla tried to convince her friend, she was a mess. Sherefused to eat properly, and she spent the majority of her time crying.

“No, if he truly wanted to get back with me, he would’vetried harder to speak to me…” said (y/N) firmly

-

“I swear to god, Malfoy’s changing her!” said Sirius

“How come?” asked Remus

“Last night, she was with Malfoy and Flint, when they weremaking fun of a Hufflepuf first year, and she didn’t stop them”

“Look, I think she just misses you mate, okay, you shouldtry to al least talk to her once more”

“Why, the only thing she does is ignore me”

“Hi James, Remus, Peter” she said as she passed them in thecorrido

“See! It’s like I’m invisible!” exclaimed Sirius as theyentered the Great Hall

“come on Pads, we’ll find a solution” said Peter

  Just then, they heard(Y/N) giggle, and turned around, only to see Malfoy with one hand around herwaist.

“As if!” said Sirius as he got up and marched towards them

“Oh, this should be good..” said James

-

   (Y/N) was ignoredthe black haired boy as he marched towards her with determination. But shecouldn’t ignore him when he kissed her forcefully. Now, someone might thinkthat she would push him away, but she couldn’t resist the kiss and melted intoit to.

“Look, I know this doesn’t fix anything, but I ad to get youto notice me. I refuse to sit by and let the person I love the most in thisworld change because I am the stupidest person in the world. I’m not going totry to explain myself because I know that you don’t want to hear it, but I justwanted to tell you that I wanted to go after you, but that bitch Kovu stoppedme, the past week I’ve been a complete wreck without you, because you’re one ofthe few reasons that keep me going during the endless summer with my family,that if I didn’t kiss you one last time, I would probably explode because ofthe fact that I simply can’t resist those beautiful lips of yours, that Kovuisn’t even half as pretty, intelligent, funny and perfect as you. Because, eventhough nobody’s perfect, you are in my eyes” said Sirius once they pulledapart, he hesitated for a moment to wait and see if she had to say anything,but when she didn’t, he turned around and started walking back towards he Gryffindortable.

“Sirius black don’t you dare take another step!” he heard(Y/N)’s voice

“What the hell took you so long” she said, this time beingthe one that closes the gap between them

  Once they pulled apart,he pulled her in a tight hug, burying his face in her hair as the marauders,Lucius, Regulus and the rest of their friends erupted to cheers.

[cheerybdavis-blog]

favorite lyrics/lines from divide

eraser

I forget when I get awards now, the wave I had to ride. The paving stones I played upon, they kept me on the grind. So blame it on the pain that blessed me with the life. Friends and family filled with envy when they should be filled with pride.

And when the world's against me is when I really come alive. And every day that Satan tempts me, I try to take it in my stride.

You know that I've got whisky with white lines, and smoke in my lungs.

I need to get in the right mind, and clear myself up. Instead, I look in the mirror questioning what I've become.

I'm well aware of certain things that can destroy a man like me. But with that said give me one more. Another one to take the sting away. I am happy on my own, so here I'll stay. Save your lovin' arms for a rainy day. And I'll find comfort in my pain eraser.

I used to think that nothing could be better than touring the world with my songs. I chased the pictured perfect life, I think they painted it wrong. I think that money is the root of all evil, and fame is hell. Relationships, and hearts you fixed, they break as well.

And to the next generation, inspiration's allowed. The world may be filled with hate, but keep erasing it now. Somehow.

I’m well aware of certain thing that will befall a man like me.

Welcome to the new show. I guess you know I've been away. But where I'm heading, who knows? But my heart will stay the same.

castle on the hill

Found my heart and broke it here. Made friends and lost them through the years. And I've not seen the roaring fields in so long, I know I've grown. But I can't wait to go home.

One friend left to sell clothes, one works down by the coast. One had two kids but lives alone, one's brother overdosed. One's already on his second wife, one's just barely getting by. But these people raised me. And I can't wait to go home.

And I'm on my way, I still remember these old country lanes, when we did not know the answers. And I miss the way you make me feel, it's real. We watched the sunset over the castle on the hill.

dive

Oh, maybe I came on too strong. Maybe I waited too long. Maybe I played my cards wrong.

I could fall, or I could fly, here in your aeroplane. And I could live, I could die, hanging on the words you say.

And I've been known to give my all, and jumping in harder than ten thousand rocks on the lake.

So don't call me baby, unless you mean it. Don't tell me you need me, if you don’t believe it.

So let me know the truth, before I dive right into you.

And I've been known to give my all, sitting back looking at every mess that I made.

shape of you

The club isn't the best place to find a lover, so the bar is where I go.

Girl, you know I want your love. Your love was handmade for somebody like me. Come on now, follow my lead. I may be crazy, don't mind me.

I'm in love with the shape of you, we push and pull like a magnet do. Although my heart is falling too, I'm in love with your body.

And last night you were in my room, and now my bedsheets smell like you. Every day discovering something brand new.

One week in we let the story begin, we're going out on our first date. You and me are thrifty, so go all you can eat, fill up your bag and I fill up a plate.

We talk for hours and hours about the sweet and the sour, and how your family is doing okay. Leave and get in a taxi, then kiss in the backseat, tell the driver make the radio play.

perfect

Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet. Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me.

But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own, and in your eyes you're holding mine.

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms. Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song.

When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath. But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight.

Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know. She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home.

I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets. To carry love, to carry children of our own.

We are still kids, but we're so in love, fighting against all odds.

I have faith in what I see, now I know I have met an angel in person, and she looks perfect. No I don't deserve this, you look perfect tonight.

galway girl

You know, she played the fiddle in an Irish band, but she fell in love with an English man. Kissed her on the neck and then I took her by the hand, said "baby, I just want to dance" with my pretty little Galway Girl. You're my pretty little Galway Girl.

You know she beat me at darts and then she beat me at pool, and then she kissed me like there was nobody else in the room.

I never heard Carrickfergus ever sung so sweet, acapella in the bar using her feet for a beat. Oh, I could have that voice playing on repeat for a week, and in this packed out room swear she was singing to me.

And now we've outstayed our welcome and it's closing time, I was holding her hand, her hand was holding mine. Our coats both smell of smoke, whisky and wine as we fill up our lungs with the cold air of the night.

I walked her home then she took me inside to finish some Doritos and another bottle of wine. I swear I'm gonna put you in a song that I write about a Galway Girl and a perfect night.

happier

Walking down 29th and park, I saw you in another's arm. Only a month we've been apart, you look happier.

Saw you walk inside a bar, he said something to make you laugh. I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours. Yeah, you look happier, you do.

'Cause baby you look happier, you do. My friends told me one day I'll feel it too. And until then I'll smile to hide the truth, but I know I was happier with you.

Sat in the corner of the room, everything's reminding me of you. Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself, you're happier, aren't you?

Oh, ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you, but ain't nobody need you like I do. I know that there's others that deserve you, but my darling, I am still in love with you.

Baby, you look happier, you do. I know one day you'd fall for someone new. But if he breaks your heart like lovers do, just know that I'll be waiting here for you.

new man

He's got his eyebrows plucked and his asshole bleached, owns every single Ministry CD. Tribal tattoos and he don't know what it means, but I heard he makes you happy so that's fine by me.

But still, I'm just keeping it real, still looking at your Instagram and I'll be creeping a little. I'll be trying not to double tap, from way back, cause I know that's where the trouble's at.

Let me remind you of the days when you used to hold my hand, and when we sipped champagne out of cider cans. I guess if you were Lois Lane, I wasn't superman, just a young boy trying to be loved.

I don't wanna know about your new man, 'cause if it was meant to be, you wouldn't be calling me up trying to f***, 'cause I'm positive that he don't wanna know about me.

I don't wanna know about your new man, we'll get there eventually. I know you're missing all this kind of love, but I'm positive that he don't wanna know about me.

Your new man rents a house in the 'burb, and wears a man bag on his shoulder, but I call it a purse. Every year, he goes to Málaga with all the fellas, drinks beer, but has a six pack, I'm kinda jealous.

But enough about him, girl, let's talk about you. You were the type of girl who sat beside the water reading, eating a packet of crisps, but you will never find you cheating. Now you're eating kale, hitting the gym, keeping up with Kylie and Kim, in the back of the club kissing a boy that ain't him.

Okay, you need to be alone, and if you wanna talk about it you can call my phone. I just thought I would tell you, 'cause you oughta know, you're still a young girl tryin' to be loved, so let me give it to ya.

Baby, I'm not trying to ruin your week, but you act so differently when you're with him, I know you're lonely. Please remember you're still free to make the choice and leave. Don't call me up, you need to show me.

hearts don’t break around here

She is the sweetest thing that I know, should see the way she holds me when the lights go low. Shakes my soul like a pothole every time.

Took my heart upon a one way trip, guess she went wandering off with it. Unlike most women I know, this one will bring it back whole.

I feel safe when you're holding me near, love the way that you conquer your fear. You know hearts don't break around here.

Spend my summertime beside her and the rest of the year the same, she is the flint that sparks the lighter and the fuel that will hold the flame.

Well, I've found loving inside the arms of the woman I know. She is the lighthouse in the night that will safely guide me home. And I'm not scared of passing over, or the thought growing old.

what do i know

We could change this whole world with a piano, add a bass, some guitar, grab a beat and away we go.

I'm just a boy with a one-man show, no university, no degree, but lord knows; everybody's talking 'bout exponential growth, and the stock market crashing in their portfolios, while I'll be sitting here with a song that I wrote; sing, love could change the world in a moment, but what do I know?

The revolution's coming, it's a minute away, I saw people marching in the streets today. You know we are made up of love and hate, but both of them are balanced on a razor blade.

I'll paint the picture, let me set the scene, I know, I'm all for people following their dreams. Just re-remember life is more than fittin' in your jeans, it's love and understanding, positivity.

I'll paint the picture, let me set the scene, you know, the future's in the hands of you and me. So let's all get together, we can all be free, spread love and understanding, positivity.

how would you feel

You are the one girl and you know that it's true, I'm feeling younger every time that I'm alone with you.

We were sitting in a parked car, stealing kisses in the front yard, we got questions we should not ask but....

How would you feel, if I told you I loved you? It's just something that I want to do. I'll be taking my time, spending my life, falling deeper in love with you. So tell me that you love me too.

In the summer, as the lilacs bloom, love flows deeper than the river every moment that I spend with you.

We were sat upon our best friend's roof, I had both of my arms round you, watching the sunrise replace the moon.

supermarket flowers

Oh I'm in pieces, it's tearing me up, but I know a heart that's broke is a heart that's been loved.

So I'll sing Hallelujah, you were an angel in the shape of my mum. When I fell down you'd be there holding me up, spread your wings as you go, and when God takes you back, he'll say Hallelujah, you're home.

I hope that I see the world as you did, cause I know a life with love is a life that's been lived.

Hallelujah, you were an angel in the shape of my mum. You got to see the person I have become, spread your wings and I know that when God took you back, he said Hallelujah, you're home.

barcelona

Well get up, up on the dancefloor tonight, I've got two left feet and a bottle of red wine making me feel like the beat and the bassline are in my blood, both hands up on her waistline.

And you and I, we're flying on an aeroplane tonight. We're going somewhere where the sun is shining bright, just close your eyes and let's pretend we're dancing in the street, in Barcelona.

Well, get up, up on the dancefloor, move, it's a Saturday night. I fell in love with the sparkle in the moonlight reflected in your beautiful eyes, I guess that is destiny doing it right.

And dance like they do in the Mediterranean, spin you around me again and again. And you're like something that God has sent me, I want you baby, solamente.

bibia be ye ye

all of it tbh the entire song i love what he did with this

nancy mulligan

She and I went on the run, don't care about religion. I'm gonna marry the woman I love, down by the Wexford border. She was Nancy Mulligan and I was William Sheeran, she took my name and then we were one, down by the Wexford border.

Well, I met at her Guys in the second world war and she was working on a soldier's ward. Never had I seen such beauty before, the moment that I saw her.

Nancy was my yellow rose, and we got married wearing borrowed clothes. We got eight children now growing old, five sons and three daughters.

From her snow white streak in her jet black hair over sixty years I've been loving her, now we're sat by the fire in our old armchairs, you know Nancy I adore ya.

save myself

I gave all my oxygen to people that could breathe, I gave away my money and now we don't even speak. I drove miles and miles, but would you do the same for me? Oh, honestly?

Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels, I drown it with a drink and out-of-date prescription pills. And all the ones that love me they just left me on the shelf, no farewell, so before I save someone else, I've got to save myself.

I gave you all my energy and I took away your pain, 'cause human beings are destined to radiate or drain.

But if I don't then I'll go back to where I'm rescuing a stranger, just because they needed saving just like that. Oh, I'm here again between the devil and the danger, but I guess it's just my nature.

So before I save someone else, I've got to save myself. And before I blame someone else, I've got to save myself. And before I love someone else, I've got to love myself.

[readbookywooks]

ALL that night we were in a great bustle getting things stowed in their place, and boatfuls of the squire's friends, Mr. Blandly and the like, coming off to wish him a good voyage and a safe return. We never had a night at the Admiral Benbow when I had half the work; and I was dog-tired when, a little before dawn, the boatswain sounded his pipe and the crew began to man the capstan-bars. I might have been twice as weary, yet I would not have left the deck, all was so new and interesting to me - the brief commands, the shrill note of the whistle, the men bustling to their places in the glimmer of the ship's lanterns. "Now, Barbecue, tip us a stave," cried one voice. "The old one," cried another. "Aye, aye, mates," said Long John, who was standing by, with his crutch under his arm, and at once broke out in the air and words I knew so well: "Fifteen men on the dead man's chest - " And then the whole crew bore chorus: - "Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!" And at the third "Ho!" drove the bars before them with a will. Even at that exciting moment it carried me back to the old Admiral Benbow in a second, and I seemed to hear the voice of the captain piping in the chorus. But soon the anchor was short up; soon it was hanging dripping at the bows; soon the sails began to draw, and the land and shipping to flit by on either side; and before I could lie down to snatch an hour of slumber the HISPANIOLA had begun her voyage to the Isle of Treasure. I am not going to relate that voyage in detail. It was fairly prosperous. The ship proved to be a good ship, the crew were capable seamen, and the captain thoroughly understood his business. But before we came the length of Treasure Island, two or three things had happened which require to be known. Mr. Arrow, first of all, turned out even worse than the captain had feared. He had no command among the men, and people did what they pleased with him. But that was by no means the worst of it, for after a day or two at sea he began to appear on deck with hazy eye, red cheeks, stuttering tongue, and other marks of drunkenness. Time after time he was ordered below in disgrace. Sometimes he fell and cut himself; sometimes he lay all day long in his little bunk at one side of the companion; sometimes for a day or two he would be almost sober and attend to his work at least passably. In the meantime, we could never make out where he got the drink. That was the ship's mystery. Watch him as we pleased, we could do nothing to solve it; and when we asked him to his face, he would only laugh if he were drunk, and if he were sober deny solemnly that he ever tasted anything but water. He was not only useless as an officer and a bad influence amongst the men, but it was plain that at this rate he must soon kill himself outright, so nobody was much surprised, nor very sorry, when one dark night, with a head sea, he disappeared entirely and was seen no more. "Overboard!" said the captain. "Well, gentlemen, that saves the trouble of putting him in irons." But there we were, without a mate; and it was necessary, of course, to advance one of the men. The boatswain, Job Anderson, was the likeliest man aboard, and though he kept his old title, he served in a way as mate. Mr. Trelawney had followed the sea, and his knowledge made him very useful, for he often took a watch himself in easy weather. And the coxswain, Israel Hands, was a careful, wily, old, experienced seaman who could be trusted at a pinch with almost anything. He was a great confidant of Long John Silver, and so the mention of his name leads me on to speak of our ship's cook, Barbecue, as the men called him. Aboard ship he carried his crutch by a lanyard round his neck, to have both hands as free as possible. It was something to see him wedge the foot of the crutch against a bulkhead, and propped against it, yielding to every movement of the ship, get on with his cooking like someone safe ashore. Still more strange was it to see him in the heaviest of weather cross the deck. He had a line or two rigged up to help him across the widest spaces - Long John's earrings, they were called; and he would hand himself from one place to another, now using the crutch, now trailing it alongside by the lanyard, as quickly as another man could walk. Yet some of the men who had sailed with him before expressed their pity to see him so reduced. "He's no common man, Barbecue," said the coxswain to me. "He had good schooling in his young days and can speak like a book when so minded; and brave - a lion's nothing alongside of Long John! I seen him grapple four and knock their heads together - him unarmed." All the crew respected and even obeyed him. He had a way of talking to each and doing everybody some particular service. To me he was unweariedly kind, and always glad to see me in the galley, which he kept as clean as a new pin, the dishes hanging up burnished and his parrot in a cage in one corner. "Come away, Hawkins," he would say; "come and have a yarn with John. Nobody more welcome than yourself, my son. Sit you down and hear the news. Here's Cap'n Flint - I calls my parrot Cap'n Flint, after the famous buccaneer - here's Cap'n Flint predicting success to our v'yage. Wasn't you, cap'n?" And the parrot would say, with great rapidity, "Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight!" till you wondered that it was not out of breath, or till John threw his handkerchief over the cage. "Now, that bird," he would say, "is, maybe, two hundred years old, Hawkins - they live forever mostly; and if anybody's seen more wickedness, it must be the devil himself. She's sailed with England, the great Cap'n England, the pirate. She's been at Madagascar, and at Malabar, and Surinam, and Providence, and Portobello. She was at the fishing up of the wrecked plate ships. It's there she learned 'Pieces of eight,' and little wonder; three hundred and fifty thousand of 'em, Hawkins! She was at the boarding of the viceroy of the Indies out of Goa, she was; and to look at her you would think she was a babby. But you smelt powder-didn't you, cap'n?" "Stand by to go about," the parrot would scream. "Ah, she's a handsome craft, she is," the cook would say, and give her sugar from his pocket, and then the bird would peck at the bars and swear straight on, passing belief for wickedness. "There," John would add, "you can't touch pitch and not be mucked, lad. Here's this poor old innocent bird o' mine swearing blue fire, and none the wiser, you may lay to that. She would swear the same, in a manner of speaking, before chaplain." And John would touch his forelock with a solemn way he had that made me think he was the best of men. In the meantime, the squire and Captain Smollett were still on pretty distant terms with one another. The squire made no bones about the matter; he despised the captain. The captain, on his part, never spoke but when he was spoken to, and then sharp and short and dry, and not a word wasted. He owned, when driven into a corner, that he seemed to have been wrong about the crew, that some of them were as brisk as he wanted to see and all had behaved fairly well. As for the ship, he had taken a downright fancy to her. "She'll lie a point nearer the wind than a man has a right to expect of his own married wife, sir. But," he would add, "all I say is, we're not home again, and I don't like the cruise." The squire, at this, would turn away and march up and down the deck, chin in air. "A trifle more of that man," he would say, "and I shall explode." We had some heavy weather, which only proved the qualities of the HISPANIOLA. Every man on board seemed well content, and they must have been hard to please if they had been otherwise, for it is my belief there was never a ship's company so spoiled since Noah put to sea. Double grog was going on the least excuse; there was duff on odd days, as, for instance, if the squire heard it was any man's birthday, and always a barrel of apples standing broached in the waist for anyone to help himself that had a fancy. "Never knew good come of it yet," the captain said to Dr. Livesey. "Spoil forecastle hands, make devils. That's my belief." But good did come of the apple barrel, as you shall hear, for if it had not been for that, we should have had no note of warning and might all have perished by the hand of treachery. This was how it came about. We had run up the trades to get the wind of the island we were after - I am not allowed to be more plain - and now we were running down for it with a bright lookout day and night. It was about the last day of our outward voyage by the largest computation; some time that night, or at latest before noon of the morrow, we should sight the Treasure Island. We were heading S.S.W. and had a steady breeze abeam and a quiet sea. The HISPANIOLA rolled steadily, dipping her bowsprit now and then with a whiff of spray. All was drawing alow and aloft; everyone was in the bravest spirits because we were now so near an end of the first part of our adventure. Now, just after sundown, when all my work was over and I was on my way to my berth, it occurred to me that I should like an apple. I ran on deck. The watch was all forward looking out for the island. The man at the helm was watching the luff of the sail and whistling away gently to himself, and that was the only sound excepting the swish of the sea against the bows and around the sides of the ship. In I got bodily into the apple barrel, and found there was scarce an apple left; but sitting down there in the dark, what with the sound of the waters and the rocking movement of the ship, I had either fallen asleep or was on the point of doing so when a heavy man sat down with rather a clash close by. The barrel shook as he leaned his shoulders against it, and I was just about to jump up when the man began to speak. It was Silver's voice, and before I had heard a dozen words, I would not have shown myself for all the world, but lay there, trembling and listening, in the extreme of fear and curiosity, for from these dozen words I understood that the lives of all the honest men aboard depended upon me alone.