#flashfest

[sniperjade]

The Portrait That Was Not

Luna had always been able to see things that other people could not. Even as a small child, she had been able to see magical creatures like nargles, wrackspurts and gulping plimpies that nobody else believed existed. She could see the winds change before it happened and feel the oncoming storm when it was just the slightest difference in pressure.

It didn’t surprise her that no one else perceived the incandescent glow that she saw around each individual person. The colours changed with their moods and grew brighter or softer with their vitality. It wasn’t always clear why.

She only realised the glow was a reflection of the person underneath when she saw its light fade from her mother. The aura paled as she struggled to breathe. When she took that last gulping and struggling gasp, the light went out, never to be seen again.

But there was no reason for the glow to be coming off a painting.

It was leaning up against the sofa in the front room of Grimmauld Place. According to Harry, the inhabitant had steadfastly refused to talk to anyone since it had arrived, choosing instead to look away or sneer. The man in the portrait was pale, almost ethereal. With his face framed by a shock of black curly hair over startlingly grey eyes, Luna found it very difficult to look away.

“Who is he?” Luna asked as Harry came back into the room with a cup of tea and some biscuits.

She had offered to help him go through all the artefacts that had been bequeathed to him after the Aurors had cleared all of Voldemort's secret places of dark magic. This one had been found in the cave. It had taken months, but they’d finally eradicated all the Inferi and disarmed all the enchantments. Now it was no more than a lonely cave assaulted by the waves.

“I’m pretty sure it’s Regulus Black,” Harry replied, a biscuit hanging from his mouth. “It looks like all the pictures I’ve seen of him, and he has Sirius’s nose.”

Luna slowly reached out and ran her fingers down the painted surface. The man in the painting glared at her, his silver eyes boring into her own.

"Harry…”

“Hmm?”

“I think he’s alive.”

Read more on Ao3

[basicallyahedgehog]

12, 18 and a wildcard of your choice for the weird writer asks pls and thank youuuuu!! Also if those do not spark joy for any reason, feel free to swap ‘em out!! xox

You spark joy!!!

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

For time to write and motivation to write to line up, to be able to see my writing the way others do, and for my friends to see their writing the way I do.

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

Hooo boy. Ok, I'm chucking my fics into a random number generator... Ooh! Ok this is a fic I don't think I've ever really shared on tumblr Harry's Spiny Adventure

Closing the book, Remus rested one hand on the tiny hedgehog.

“I also brought you a chocolate frog, but I suppose hedgehogs can’t eat chocolate.” He sighed, shaking his head to himself. “I suppose I’ll just have to eat it myself.”

He had barely gotten the frog out of his pocket when the weight in his lap suddenly increased, and he was only just able to scoop Inky out of the way before the newly-human Harry sat on her.

This was a flashfest fic for a picture prompt of a very smiley hedgehog, set in a universe where Sirius is raising Harry. Originally I think I had Harry just befriend a hedgehog, but it evolved into his first big use of accidental magic when he was told the hedgehog couldn't live inside - turning himself into a teeny, tiny baby hedgehog.

Wildcard (more number generator fun): 33. Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?

I have about a million different hobbies that I flick between (thanks ADHD!). I knit and crochet, I cross stitch, embroider, play the piano, sing...

I haven't really included any of my hobbies in fics up til now but I want to. In my latest fic Draco knits, but there isn't really any detail given to it. But I would love to include more knitting and/or crochet in my fics in particular.

Thanks love!!

Send me weird writer asks here

[kiwi05622]

Lost

Pairing: Hermione Granger/ Draco Malfoy

Rating: M

Length: 1500 

Author: TakingFlight48

Summary:

Grabbing onto a sliver of hope that a drunken confession provided, Draco heads off to find the one that got away. Unwilling to give up he camps out, ready to make things right, not expecting her to be hidden in plain sight, easily mistaken for someone else.

Read on Ao3

Part 2 is coming soon.... ;)

[angry-healers]

for anyone who plays Granblue as well, these are my crystal pulls from the flashfest. I don’t know how to feel about getting Zoi but not Lucio.

give me lucio you stupid RNG piece of shite

[artbyifer]

[michajawkan]

hey so Halloween Hallessena’s weapon comes with a 4-star right away and it has a unique skill that boosts TA and atk of all axe-spec allies so I went ahead and checked all the light axe characters, and--

they’re all limited except Daetta, who has an R and an SR only

[peachesnbasil]

team black knight supporting their girl

a silly doodle while trying to decide what to draw

[drycerealthief]

A Midsummer Nightmare

AO3 Masterlist - Nobody's sleeping, and nobody's happy about it.

Written for the @phandomficfests Summer Sounds Flash Fic Fest!

 *FUMBLING NOISE*

 *CLICK*

 *WHIRRING NOISE*

“Dannnnnn… for fuck’s sake!”

“Phil. It’s like a bloody oven in here. We have the air con, we’re using the air con. This isn’t some sort of mind… brain… I mean…” “Just as well really. Clearly you’re not thinking-” “I already said. It’s HOT. And I can’t sleep.” “And I was asleep. Until you turned on the world’s loudest fans and woke me up.” “Phil, you could sleep on a fucking clothesline. I refuse to believe you cannot sleep with the aircon switched on. See, feel how much cooler it is in here already…” “Then turn it off and we can both sleep” “Huh. S’not that cool yet” “You’re not that cool” “Ha. Phil, you managed to sleep just fine when we lived on top of that bloody A-road for five years, you managed to fall asleep on a damn bus practically every night for two months two years ago, you sleep on planes, trains, backstage at fucking VidCon for heaven’s sake, but you can’t-“ “No. I can’t. Those other times I didn’t have a choice-“ “You don’t have a choice here. You think you do, but-” “It’s not that hot. It’s only London for heaven’s sake, not some… desert… place.” “Pfft. Now who isn’t thinking?!” “Dan, I swear on Mum’s life…” “Just go to sleep.” “I. Can’t. It’s too noisy” “Well shut up and go to sleep then.” “Daaaaaannnnnnnn…” “Oh, for fucks sake…” *CLICK*

*SLAMMING NOISE* “Thanks Dan. Night m’love.” **Minutes later** “Hey, Phil... Phiiiillll?” “Oh, for… What?” “SomeBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD IS GONNA ROLL M-mfph!” “Shut. Up. It’s the middle of the night!”

“Mmn-duh-ape-uv-en-ell…” “Dan..! OW! You absolute little…! That HURT!” “If I can’t sleep, you ain’t sleeping either Philly. Fair’s fair.” *EXASPERATED SIGH*  *CLICK* “What you looking for in the drawer?” “Earplugs. Good. Night.” *CLICK* “’Night Phil.” “Hmpf.” “Yeah, love you too.” *CLICK*

 *WHIRRING NOISE*

[chuuni-p]

Pholia in LegFest!

Will sell bad doodles of granblue characters for spark funds.

[imaizumikagerou]

oh, so thats where all my SR’s were

5 in the final freebie pull

[sniperjade]

A TOUCH OF BLACK

A HP Rarepears Flashfest

You must be a member of HP Rare Pairs to participate. Please follow the link below to join:

[gbfree86]

Earth (Day) - Grid Update

Ngl I am so glad the next GW is earth and not wind like everyone expected. With that in mind I wanted to go over my current earth grid:

Its looking pretty good I think. Over magnafest I finally got around to FLBing all the main elements seraphic, added a FLB Ancient Perseus to my grid and ULB'd Titan. Not much to improve but upgrading the seraphic skill to 15 and finally getting astral.

Besides that the only other grid pieces on my radar rn are the Ancent Bandage, World Ender and Yahata's Naginata. World Ender is 2 star and I won't be speaking on flash again anytime soon its likely i'll spare the single chocobar needed to MLB it in the near future. Speaking of spark I'm slowly starting to regret my decision to discount sparking S!Zooey during anniversary flashfest. I probably could have gotten both S!Kolulu and G!Leona if I skipped her tbh. Seeing how long I've managed so far the move feels even more useless. I can only hope she turns out like Rat for me over Vira who ended up collecting dust in my inventory from disuse (and she was a suptix). In any case I'll maybe try sparking her weapon in the fall after I get S!Kolulu. We'll see. Since its after GW another target may take priority.

That leaves the Ancient Bandage which I currently have a 1 star of. Whether I resort to buying the rest needed to MLB over banking on luck of draw for more copies remains to be seen.

TL;DR: Will upgrade Seraphic to skill lvl 15 then put a pin in earth to work on wind if what I have now isn't sufficient to tackle Galleon.

[suminomiyyas]

God I hate Flashfest with all of my Hatred

[tainbocuailnge]

mother fucker i want shalim so bad can’t they just put zodiacs in flashfest so i can get her when i spark rat

[random-senpai]

With GBF its like....Here are a thousand women who are in love with you. There are no men who are the same except for one villain. And here's a bunch of yuri bait canon lesbian couples. But any guys you might ship are just friends.

At the end of the day waifus sell. Its easy to have them being yuri bait as long as they're yuri AND willing to fuck the self insert. Thats just how gacha is and it's a tough pill to swallow, but one you need to nontheless.

But what kills me about GBF is that it USED to be on the better end of the spectrum when it came to equal treatment for boys and girls. GranOtome Fantasy was a thing when Between Frost and Flame came out. The vibes of Percy's love were so strong that even straight boy hentai artists started to ship Percy x Djeeta and draw a bunch of art. Year 1 & 2 Valentines/White day lines for a majority of the boys are MUCH more romantically implied. And we even had White Day Banners with increased male drop rates.

But then KMR took over and things changed. Holiday lines became incredibly platonic for a majority of the males. Valentines Waifus were introduced and people were excited over a White Day Flashfest. Only for us to get our usual White Day banner with nobody new. They actually PUSHED Flash Fest back and released Jeanne in a bikini the day after. And then next year? Not even the old White Day banner. They just waited for it to be over and released another waifu in a bikini. And that's been the norm since.

But yeah its really sad. Because the game was great and showed promise, but gradually became more and more of a generic waifu game. And when we DO actually get male content it's almost always DK, Angels, Iristill, or Levin, and often times bland and obviously targeted at Fujoshis to sell whatever product has their face stamped on it or a new SSR.

I'm not even going to go into depth about when they released a lazy character whose main trait is being a hentai rape joke (She even had 3 arms later lmaooooo). Or the fact that the more suggestive lines from guys belong to obvious tr*p and shota bait (one of them literally suggestivly inviting you to bed in his uncap art)

Its not all bad though. Ladiva has been treated very respectfully lately as the queen she is. Plus a NPC even straight up says he has wonderful and supportive gay dads. But still alot leaves a bad taste in my mouth when I think of this game I used to love wholeheartedly.

[lestered]

thunder only happens when it’s raining

t, 3.6k

Obviously Manchester isn’t perfect either. But he’s seen at least three same-sex couples playing tonsil hockey at this party alone, and no one’s batted an eyelash. There’s something to be said for the fact that this is probably the most comfortable he’s ever been at a house party, and really he’s just half-drunk in a room full of strangers. 

or: Dan wants to get something out of his system.

-

originally conceived as an idea for pff’s pride flashfest, but finished waaaaaay late. millions of thanks to @lvatt for holding me accountable and listening to all of my despairing while i wrote this.

read on ao3 or under the cut

There’s a boy across the room, and he’s the hottest thing Dan’s ever seen.

That’s saying kind of a lot, because Dan’s seen some things. Many things, actually. But that was back in the hellscape that he calls home, over 200 miles south of Manchester, and he really limited the type of stuff that he let himself see back there. 

He doesn’t regret it; it was for his own good. Or his own safety, at the very least. Dozens and dozens of parties just like this, crowded rooms and loud music and cheap booze and fumbling around in the dark with too many girls and not feeling a fraction of the heat that he does looking at this boy’s broad, strong shoulders and long legs, his pretty pink lips and sharp cheekbones, and his scruffy black hair that sweeps over bright, ocean-blue eyes.

“You know, Phil’s not gonna shag you if all you do is stand here ogling him.”

Dan chokes on his drink, eyes watering as he coughs up the rum that’s burning its way town the wrong tube of his throat. “Fucking hell.” He rasps when he finally catches his breath. “Warn a guy.”

Cara - he’s pretty sure that’s her name, anyway - just grins, taking a long drink out of her own cup and leaning back against the wall next to him. He can’t remember if she lives in this house, or if she’s just a friend, or someone’s girlfriend, but she knows that Hot Boy’s name is apparently Phil, which means she fits with this crowd a lot better than he does. 

Not that that’s hard. He’s not even sure where he is, just that someone in his group of hallmates loosely defined as ‘friends’ was invited here, and now he has no idea where any of them are either. 

That doesn’t bother him too much, though. Cara’s nice. Nice enough to have introduced herself when she found him standing alone by the drinks table, anyway. 

“Look, I love Phil, but he’s not exactly astute.” She tells him, her words a tiny bit slurred and her voice laden with a thick Northern accent. “If you want him to know you fancy him, you really need to smack him over the head with it.”

If you want him to know you fancy him. 

Dan’s cheeks heat up and he narrowly avoids choking on his drink again, but can’t ignore the sudden churning of his stomach or his racing heartbeat.

Fancy him. Fancy him. 

It’s a harmless phrase, isn’t it. Said so casually, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Like he’s not disgusting. Like he��s not about to get punched or called a series of slurs for looking at a boy for more than 3 seconds.

He’s not upset. His veins are full of icy dread and his fight or flight response is rearing and ready to go but he’s not upset. Cara picked up on him fancying a boy, but it doesn’t matter, especially since she clearly doesn’t care. 

That doesn’t change that fact that he kind of feels like he can’t breathe. He firmly but gently reminds himself that he’s been conditioned.

“Fancy him?” He finally manages with a pitchy laugh after god knows how many seconds of silent panic. “I don’t fancy him, what are you on about?” 

Cara seems confused. But to be fair, she kind of has a right to be. After all, she’d noticed him staring at Phil earlier and asked if he liked what he saw, and he’d been too flustered to even answer. He’s sure that didn’t exactly give off a heterosexual vibe.

That’s not a bad thing, he reminds himself. He’s not actively trying to do that anymore. That was part of the appeal of getting so far away from home. One of many, many appeals, if he’s being honest, but definitely one of the biggest. 

Obviously Manchester isn’t perfect either. But he’s seen at least three same-sex couples playing tonsil hockey at this party alone, and no one’s batted an eyelash. There’s something to be said for the fact that this is probably the most comfortable he’s ever been at a house party, and really he’s just half-drunk in a room full of strangers. 

He tries to distract himself from how very unconvincing his lie to Cara must have been by chugging down the rest of his drink, suddenly not regretting the extra shot of rum he’d poured in for good measure.

She’s still looking at him when he puts the cup down, though, her eyes careful and searching.

“Okay. You don’t fancy him.” She nods, pausing for another drink before looking across the room at Phil again. “It’d be no big deal if you did, though. He’s gay.” She pauses to give Dan another passing, faux-casual glance. “And you’re kind of exactly his type.”

That causes another churning in his stomach, a different kind. Instead of the usual fear and guilt, this one comes with a blush and an urge to smile. He schools his features, or tries to. But Cara’s giving him a knowing look and he can’t help but let out a breathy laugh, crossing his arms and shuffling idly in his place. His heart’s beating faster now. 

He feels kind of silly for it, but the implication that someone - another boy, specifically - might actually be attracted to him and more importantly, unashamed of it, is more exciting than he would’ve expected.

“Shut up.” He finally mumbles, giving in but still doing his best to bite back the stupid grin that’s threatening to take over his face when he looks back across the room at Phil. “No way I’m his type.”

“I’ve been friends with him for two years now, wanna bet?” Cara nudges him in the ribs with her elbow. Dan’s trying to come up with a sassy retort when, as if on cue, Phil glances up and meets his gaze from across the room, and Dan feels suddenly like he’s had the wind knocked out of him.

Cara notices. Of course she does.

“You know…” She sing-songs when Dan finally forces himself to look away after a few seconds longer than what he’d consider a casual amount of eye contact. “I could go talk to him for you.”

She’s got a playful, knowing glint in her eye.

Dan draws in a deep breath through his nose, swallows the lump in his throat, and exhales.

*

It starts off with Phil recognizing his Twilight’s Last Gleaming shirt. Apparently they have the same taste in movies.

Turns out they also like a lot of the same TV shows. And animes, and bands, and video games. It’s kind of uncanny.

Somewhere in the middle of discussing their favorite Ghibli movies, Phil kisses him. 

Dan’s so stunned that he doesn’t return it at first. 

It’s not exactly the kiss itself that’s shocking, though; he knew they’d get to that at some point. They’ve been tucked into a dark corner for well over an hour now, sharing a beanbag chair and shifting in closer and closer until Dan’s nestled right up to his side, Phil’s arm draped casually over his shoulders while their gazes flit between eyes and lips with gradually more intent. No, the kiss has been a pretty long time coming.

What’s surprising is how soft and gentle Phil’s lips are against his own. He kisses him slowly, sweetly, without urgency or a hint of an expectation for anything more. He supposes that’s just what Phil’s like. That he’s just sweet. He seems that way. He could also just be drunkenly projecting, because after all, he hardly knows Phil at all. But he feels like he does. He may know almost nothing about Phil as a person, or the details of his life, but he does know that in spite of all that, he feels like a safe space.

Okay, he’s definitely projecting a little. But he also trusts his gut instinct.

He only gathers himself enough to kiss back for about half a second before Phil pulls away, his face flushed from what Dan assumes is more than just the alcohol.

“Uh… sorry.” Phil breathes out what sounds like a nervous laugh and ruffles a hand through his hair. “I never… I don’t usually just kiss people, I swear, but you’re…” 

Dan doesn’t allow himself to think before surging forward and silencing Phil by pressing their mouths together again, this kiss much firmer and more assured than before. He feels Phil smiling against his lips when they part.

“Sorry.” He whispers, opening his eyes to meet Phil’s soft, slightly unfocused gaze. “I’m what?”

Phil’s arm moves from around his shoulders to wrap around his waist instead, and Dan has to look away for a second because there’s something like fondness glinting in Phil’s eyes and he’s feeling enough as it is, especially when he hears Phil’s soft, murmured response. 

“You’re cute.”

*

It's chilly enough outside that Dan slightly regrets wearing only a short-sleeved shirt. The October air bites at his cheeks, but the alcohol coursing through his veins and Phil's flannel clad arms wrapped around his waist are keeping him decently warm, so things could definitely be worse.

"Anyway," he whispers, his eyes fluttering shut when Phil presses a kiss to a particularly sensitive spot behind his ear. "That's why... fuck-- that's why Final Fantasy VII has the best soundtrack."

Phil nods and trails his lips up from Dan's jaw to meet him in another kiss. "Interesting," he mumbles. "I always preferred Final Fantasy VIII, but you make a compelling argument." Dan can feel him smiling when he presses another kiss to his cheek, and he tries not to get caught up in the way that his heart keeps somersaulting over in his chest.

Phil's lips find his again, and he draws in a deep breath through his nose to collect himself. He focuses first on his senses - on the warm press of Phil's body against his own, on the muted sound of the party music seeping through the walls, on the whistling of the wind and the way Phil's lips taste like vodka and cranberry juice and the scent of cigarette smoke coming from somewhere nearby. He's not exactly sure where, though. As far as he can tell they're alone on this porch, though he supposes there could always be someone lurking around the corner. The thought might terrify him in another context, but here it feels alright. Not completely unguarded, but it's that thing about Phil - the thing that makes Dan feel somehow assured that Phil really isn't the type to put him in any danger. Phil knows this place better than he does, knows this crowd better than he does, and if he thinks that sucking face outside this house party is fair game, then damn it, Dan's gonna trust him.

"Your turn." He finally murmurs when their lips part, swapping their positions so that Phil's pressed back against the outside wall of the house and Dan's mouth is latched onto his neck.

Phil's hands scramble for purchase on his back, fingers bunching in the loose fabric of Dan's t-shirt.

"Right, um..." Dan feels Phil's throat vibrate against his lips and has to force himself not to grin like an idiot. "We were doing... uh... soundtracks?"

Dan nods.

"Right." Phil takes a deep breath - Dan knows this because he can feel the rise and fall. "So, um, the soundtrack to Once More, With Feeling..."

Dan snorts against the soft skin of Phil's neck, despite himself. "Sorry, the soundtrack to what?"

“The Buffy musical episode?” Phil replies easily. “Christ, I thought you had good taste. Now I’m second guessing myself.”

Dan pauses, then pulls back. “You’re shitting me. There’s a Buffy musical episode?”

Phil’s eyes widen comically. “Okay, that’s it.” He dramatically drops his arms from around Dan’s waist. “I can’t sleep with someone who doesn’t know Buffy. I’m sorry, but I have standards.”

In another context, Dan would definitely find the fact that Phil’s apparently a Buffy fanboy to be adorable, but he can’t really think about that right now, because of the other thing that Phil just said.

I can’t sleep with someone. 

Sleep with someone.

Sleep with him. Somehow it hadn’t occurred to him that Phil would want to go any further than this. Which is stupid, because if this were a party back home and he was doing this with a girl, he’d expect it to be headed exactly in that direction. With Phil, though, it feels different. And the realization sort of hits him like a freight train.

It must show, because Phil immediately follows up, his voice quieter and a little nervous. “I mean… only if you want to.” He tells him, fidgeting with one of the buttons on his shirt. “No pressure, I just kinda thought…” Phil trails off, seemingly waiting for Dan to say something, but he still can’t find any words. 

“I-I’m sorry.” Phil finally stammers. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed. We don’t… if you don’t want— “

“I want to.” Dan cuts him off without thinking. He feels light and floaty and a little foggy and also kind of terrified, but he somehow knows with complete certainty that he wants Phil.

Phil’s eyes seem to search his face for a moment, and he must look alright now because the worried creases in Phil’s forehead eventually smooth out and there’s a new sort of weight to his gaze and his smile when Phil reaches out to take his hand. 

“Alright. Wanna get out of here, then?”

*

Getting out of here apparently means stumbling upstairs and into a bedroom about halfway down the hall. That’s probably for the best - his nerves and desperation are both building fast so the sooner he gets Phil alone, the better, and he’s not sure how capable either of them would be at walking much further than this anyway. 

He’s no sooner got the door closed behind him that Phil’s pressing him back against it, crashing their mouths back together and reaching out for the light switch with one hand, fumbling only a little bit. As if he already knew exactly where it was.

“Uh, is this your room?” He asks when Phil tugs him backwards towards the bed with what seems again to be practiced ease. He hadn’t imagined that this was Phil’s place, but he supposes it’s likely enough. They’d had more interesting things to talk about than their accommodations.

Phil’s first response is to tumble them both onto the bed, climb over on top of him and press a number of urgent kisses into Dan’s neck. 

“No, not mine,” he murmurs then, just as Dan’s starting to think that maybe Phil hadn’t heard him. “My house is next door, my mate Ian lives here. It’s cool though, he hooked up so many times in my bed last year, he owes me.”

“...Oh.” Dan whispers. He’s not sure why, but that strikes a bit of a strange chord and he finds himself squirming.

He lets his eyes flutter open slowly. Suddenly the ceiling looks like it’s descending. He doesn’t recall feeling terribly drunk before, but now the light in the room seems too bright. It hurts his eyes, they water and his vision goes even blurrier and he squeezes them shut again.

Phil lands another kiss on his neck, then his cheek, then on his lips, and Dan barely registers it. His chest tightens as it dawns on him that he’s about to have sex with a boy for the first time ever. 

It dawns on him that Phil’s not. 

After all, it’s kind of a given that Phil’s done this before. Phil’s older than him, more assured than him, he knows what he’s doing. He’s touching and kissing him in all the right spots and whispering all the little bits of praise that Dan wants to hear. Phil’s not confused or scared.

That should be reassuring.

That should be reassuring.

He doesn’t know that he’s shaking until he hears Phil’s voice, high pitched and concerned as he repeats Dan’s name again and again. 

“Dan… Dan?” He feels Phil nudging at his shoulder cautiously. His eyes fly open to find that Phil’s rolled off of him, now propped up on one elbow on his side with eyes full of what seems like mostly apprehension, and maybe a bit of fear. He sighs out in relief when they make eye contact. “Oh, thank God. You went somewhere else for a second.”  

“Sorry.” Dan answers automatically, propping himself up too and drawing in a deep breath. “Sorry, I’m fine. We can keep going.”

He tries to ignore the skepticism in Phil’s eyes when he leans in to kiss him again. He’s disappointed but not exactly surprised when Phil’s lips are dry and unmoving against his. 

“Phil, it’s fine.” He whispers. He can feel his heartbeat in his throat when he tries to kiss Phil again, sweat prickling the back of his neck. “I’m fine, promise.” But Phil just sits up.

“I think…” Phil sighs, scratching his jaw and pressing his back against the headboard. “Fuck. I don’t think this is a good idea.” He casts Dan an apologetic look, his eyes bleary and his hair messed up and his shirt halfway unbuttoned. God. 

“I think we’re too drunk.” Phil hurries to explain when Dan doesn’t respond. “It’s not you.”

It clearly is him, though, Dan can tell. He’s definitely the problem. Because things had been going pretty great before he’d gone and gotten weird about it. 

He breathes in deep, feeling his cheeks heat up. “I’m not that drunk.” He sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. He’s already embarrassed as hell, but if he at least comes clean, maybe Phil won’t think he’s a total weirdo. “I’m… I’m just nervous.”

Phil casts him a quizzical look, and Dan sighs in defeat.

“I’ve never done this before.” 

Phil’s expression stays confused for a moment before the realization dawns. “Oh! Oh. I mean… oh.” He pauses for a moment. “You’ve never had sex before?”

“Not with a guy.” He clarifies quietly. He’d really like nothing more than for the floor to open up and swallow him whole. He’s sure that he sounds like a total loser, and the longer that Phil doesn’t respond, the worse it is. 

When Phil finally does speak up, though, it’s not quite what he expects.

“I hadn’t either.” He says quietly, and Dan feels the bed shift when Phil scoots closer to him again. “Before I got to uni, I mean. No one from home even knows I’m gay. Not even my family.”

Something about that makes Dan feel around 20 pounds lighter, and he finds the courage to actually look at Phil again. “Yeah?” He asks quietly. He feels vulnerable, and small, but Phil’s expression is patient and earnest and Dan almost feels like he could cry. Phil’s a complete stranger, and yet Dan can’t remember the last time anyone looked at him this way. He’s not sure anyone ever has.

“Me neither.” He says, his voice small and soft. “I mean, enough of them think that I am. Or they feel like they need to make up some reason to hate me. But I’m not, um.” He clears his throat. “Not actually out. To anyone. At all.” 

The silence that falls between them then isn’t excruciating like before. It’s calm. It’s… soothing, almost. 

“I really like you, Dan.” Phil whispers after a while. “Like… I really like you.” He feels Phil’s shoulder bump gently against his own and he shifts in closer and when he turns his head Phil’s right there. He barely has to lean in at all when Phil kisses him softly.

It feels really good. But it’s lacking the heat from before. “So…” Dan whispers when they break apart. “Do you still wanna—”

“Yeah.” Phil interrupts him. “I do, I seriously do. But… not right away?”

Dan pouts to mask his actual disappointment, but the smile that it earns from Phil makes it well worth it. “Look.” Phil laughs. “I’m not someone who thinks your first time needs to be perfect, or with your soulmate, or even with someone really special, but it should at least be, like. Pretty good. And I can totally do better than this.”

Dan feels himself blush as he glances around the room. Granted, Phil’s right - it’s not exactly a nice atmosphere, with its ugly posters and bad lighting and soda cans and dirty laundry strewn across the floor. Apparently Ian doesn’t really have his whole aesthetic nailed down yet. He also notes that there’s a nagging pain in the back of his head, intensifying the more his buzz wears off, and he’s tired and his skin is tacky with sweat. 

Yeah. Dan’s pretty sure that he can do better than this, too.

“Right.” Dan sighs out a bit of a laugh, relishing in the wave of relief that suddenly washes over him from head to toe. “I can handle a rain check.” But he can’t help but notice when he looks back over at Phil that… well. He’s really cute. He’s really hot. Even if they’re not about to have sex after all, Dan’s not exactly willing to pull himself away.

“What about until then?” He asks. His stomach does another little flip, a different kind, when Phil grabs his hand and tugs him up off the bed.

“Until then,” Phil smiles, a teasing glint in his eye when he presses a quick, chaste kiss against his lips. “You’re coming home with me. You have a Buffy musical to watch.”