#flash flood warning texas

[queengalaxy]

Afghanistan News

Floods hit Afghanistan, 50 dead in heavy rain!

[hellishjoel]

dark paradise 

5.2k / pairing: dbf/neighbor!joel x f!reader

Series Masterlist l Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

pt. 1 pt. 2 pt. 3 pt. 4

summary: Your mind is flooded with the memories of your private time with Joel in his woodshed, but he hasn't reached out to you since the bonfire and it's been a week. You go next door to give him a piece of your mind.

warnings/information: MA 18+ (minors DNI), no outbreak, smut, age gap (reader is in her early 20’s, Joel in his 40’s), dbf/neighbor!joel, semi-public sex, oral (f receiving), fingering, pet names, praise, Joel being a horrible communicator and texter

A/N: I edited this 12+ times and kept changing stuff, so therefore there’s probably mistakes. There’s your one and only warning lol. I’m so excited you guys are eating up the first part (off to the races), I hope the next parts to come keep ya’ll entertained ;)

“Joel-” You clenched your eyes closed. “Outside? Are you serious?” Your scolded whispers were useless. Now that Joel knew you had these needs, he wasn’t going to let you be underserved.  He perched one of your legs over his shoulder, the other spread to the side and held open by the warm palm of his hand. You could feel his hot breath on your inner thighs, your walls fluttering as he came closer and closer to your core with each kiss to the exposed skin.  “On the tailgate, Joel?” You whimpered, a flash of concern passing over your face.  “I know how much you love the truck, baby.” Son of a bitch.

Time seemed to slow after your interaction with Joel in his woodshed. The days following the bonfire were filled with excitement but quickly followed by dread and anxiety. It had been a week. 

No text, no calls, no anything.

It wasn’t that serious. It was just Joel. Besides, you had a vibrator to fill the void until he finally decided to reach out to you. Whenever that may be. 

Days one and two were the most riveting. Every time you thought of Joel, your heart raced a little faster. You didn’t have a long list of sexual endeavors, so this was still noteworthy. Giving head to your hot forty-year-old neighbor. You wondered what else would come from it. More importantly, when. 

Days three and four felt routine and mundane. After picking around your breakfast and staring out the window to Joel’s empty driveway, you would wander to your back porch to read a book on the dock. 

You were lucky to catch glimpses of Sarah. Her summer was busy with her friends from school and working a part-time job to afford having fun the summer before her senior year. If she was free, you guys would jump in the lake, sit on the dock together, tell stories, and catch up on everything that was happening in each other’s lives. Well, not everything.  

Days five and six were torture. Your vibrator had died from its excessive use, and your fingers weren’t cutting it. You wanted Joel, you needed Joel. You hated to admit it, especially since he hadn’t paid a singular ounce of attention to you since the bonfire last Saturday. Even worse, after deciding to watch Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron with your family during a movie night, you started thinking even the horse was kind of attractive. 

Day seven started with your room covered in a pale blue light. You didn’t know what time it was. You weren’t sure how much you slept, but you knew it was very little. This ache was pestering your insides, spreading a rot like an old tree log. Your mind couldn’t fade away from the way Joel felt inside your mouth, the way he filled your throat, and you breathed through the choke. Or the way he finished on your face and your tongue.  

Your well-painted memory of it all was already beginning to fade. The details weren’t as crisp, you wanted to remember every detail and hold on to it for as long as possible.  

That’s what you were trying to imagine at this ungodly early morning hour. The birds weren’t even chirping outside yet. Your fan slowly circled, trying to cool you off from the sticky Texas heat. You wished your windows weren’t jammed closed.

You heard a thud outside, your body alert as you swiftly sat up and peeked out the window. 

Despite it being a Saturday, you watched a tired and slow Joel walk out to his old pickup truck and toss a brown bag lunch inside. Where was he off to so early?

He was wearing his chunky worn-in work boots, splattered with drops of white paint stained into the leather by the steel toe. They were heavy with each step he took on his rickety wooden deck. His faded dark blue jeans sat snug on his hips with his wallet stuffed in the back pocket. His dark hair dashed with silver grays was still damp from his morning shower.  

You watched behind foggy glass as he patted down his jeans and mumbled something, swiftly turning on his heel and lightly jogging up his steps before disappearing inside again. 

Seeing him after a week of silence bubbled up a hint of anger and annoyance in you. It annoyed you that he looked so good. 

Your feet found their way onto cold hardwood before you could waste another second. You would give him a piece of your mind in fuzzy slippers and an oversized rusty-orange Texas Longhorns t-shirt that was so draped over you that it covered your black sleep shorts. 

You tiredly navigated your way out of your room quietly, not to wake your parents down the hall. You crossed your arms and hugged them to your body, the early morning chill hitting you once you were outside. You crossed your driveway to his truck, slowing once you reached his perched-down tailgate. Joel had resurged from his house with his truck keys in hand, his steps slowing once you two shared eye contact.

You’d be standing here all day if you expected Joel to speak first. 

“Hey.” 

He gave you a small nod, his eyes dropping to the shirt that reached the tops of your thighs before they managed their way back up to your face. “Mornin’.” 

He closed the gap between his porch steps and his tailgate, setting down his toolbelt and box in the bed. He looked rigid, tight in the shoulders and chest. His close proximity made you step a few paces back, the length of the tailgate separating you from Joel. 

You were afraid that if he stood too close, he might feel how badly you wanted him by radiation alone. Especially now, fresh out of the shower, half-wet curls plastered to his forehead, still smelling a little musky with his body wash.

You finally let out an aggravated sigh, hip landing against the tailgate with your arms still crossed. 

“So… where are you going this early on a Saturday?” Your face still held a slightly pinched expression though you tried to ask a casual question. 

Your curiosity made the left side of his mouth tick up in a lopsided little smirk. 

“You wanna tell me the real reason you came over here?” Joel’s tactics were ruthless. It made you feel small, young. But you weren’t, not anymore. 

You took in a sharp breath through your nose, eyes on his as your head fell to the side. Finally, the ticking time bomb inside you was counting down. All of your pent-up sexual frustration would be launched at this lumberjack of a man. 

“You haven’t texted me.” 

“Christ,” he muttered, annoyance passing over his face. “Sun’s not even up yet.” 

“Joel.” You pushed. 

“Haven’t texted you in a few years.” He said lamely. 

“I know, the last thing I have from you is asking me what you think my dad would like for a birthday present.”

“I value your input.” His teasing didn’t make you any less angry. Joel could tell. “I don’t text anyone much besides Sarah. ‘ts the only way I can get ahold of her. Don’t even remember I own a phone half the time.” 

“I know.” Your arms crossed tighter around your body. “But I have… needs.” Your voice awkwardly teetered as you evaded his eye contact.

“Needs? Do ya, now?” Joel’s accent came out swinging, his signature smirky-smile working in combination with his cocked up eyebrow. But your face held evidence of your disappointment. 

There’s a gentle lull. He should have texted you, and you shouldn’t be here telling him that. He knows. Or maybe you shouldn’t expect so much from a guy like Joel. No wedding ring, brooding, a bull with horns, Joel. Wouldn’t know it was his birthday without Sarah reminding him, Joel. Wouldn’t leave the house if he didn’t have to, Joel. Wouldn’t think to text his horny neighbor next door, Joel. 

“Didn’t text me either, sweetheart.” He points out, making your head snap up with wide doe eyes. Shit. He was right. 

You didn’t text him, either. You were just sort of expecting it out of him. You hoped he would lead the way, be the guide, reach out wanting more. But that wasn’t Joel. Were you both playing this devilish waiting game? You felt a little silly, your insides wrapping in knots as he surveyed you. 

“Well I-”

“You what?” 

He was the one grilling into you now. The sun began cresting over the water, bleaching your surroundings in a pale orange. The sun’s glare caused Joel’s eyes to squint slightly to block it out. 

You rolled your head to the side and wiggled around as you tried to stand still against his tailgate. Your frustrations were evident as you rubbed your crossed legs together. 

This wasn’t the same girl who took a leap of faith in his woodshed, who crossed the boundary between nothing to something, and set you and Joel up for a thrilling summer. You just wanted him to tell you that he wanted it too. To fuck around and do something different. Make this summer worth a damn. 

“I didn’t know if you wanted more.” You finally muster up, your voice smaller than you intended, shifty eyes looking over his. 

Your statement made him scoff, having to look away from you with a wicked smile. The orange luminescence of the sun warmed his otherwise cold face. He was amused, maybe even a little offended by your statement. 

“‘Course I want more.” He strained before pausing, his voice lowering as he took another step closer. “Look at you. Wearin’ my shirt.” He said before he towered over you, making the first point of contact as his hand reached for your hip and pulled you in closer, his fist clutching the worn-in orange t-shirt. 

You blinked a few times before looking down where he fisted the material. Shit. He was right again. 

Joel had given this to you the last summer you were in Danbury. You and Sarah took a late-night dip in the lake, and she wanted you to sleep over and watch a movie in the basement. You were too lazy to walk back home and change, so Joel gave you a towel and his Longhorns t-shirt.

You easily could have snagged a shirt from Sarah’s closet, but Joel caught you sneaking into his house and dripping water everywhere.

“Just take this. Go dry off. Get warmed up.” A statement laced with annoyance and precaution for his floors, but also attentive care. 

It was probably supposed to be just for the night, but you stole it. 

You remember that evening vividly. It was the first time you fantasized about Joel. Because the shirt wrapped you up and smelled of his musk and deodorant. It brought on a certain warm fuzziness in your tummy. The shirt had been incorporated so much in your wardrobe these last two years or so, you had forgotten its origin. But it was Joel’s.

And now you were standing here in front of him, his shirt draped over your body like an oversized blanket, showing the curves of your tits. He was fantasizing about you too. Fucking you while wearing his shirt.

There was an undeniable tension that now settled between the two of you, one you surely couldn’t satisfy in his driveway. But that didn’t mean Joel didn’t feel the same way. 

His hold on your hip tightened, your lips parting in surprise as his other hand came to your waist and hoisted you up onto the tailgate of his truck. 

He was hot, possessive of your body wrapped in his shirt. 

“Does it look like I don’t want you?” Joel’s voice was husky, lust filled. You liked getting this sort of reaction out of him. His question caused an ache in you, white heat pooling in the base of your stomach. 

Your neediness for him returned. Addicted to his touch, you felt a rush of adrenaline pulse through your body. Joel parted your legs with his body by standing between them, your little fists gripping his large biceps as you tried to regain your bearings. He was so big and burly, wide set shoulders, and a toned chest. You wanted to see him shirtless, examine his body when your time together wasn’t so limited. 

“Joel,” his name dripped off your lips with desperation, sweet like honey. He knew how you said his name when you wanted him. It brought back vivid memories of you kneeling in front of him in his woodshed.

Comfort brought you back, knowing it was safe to lean in and start kissing his stubbled neck. You didn’t want to kiss his lips, it still felt too intimate. Joel picked up on your hesitations and silently obeyed. 

Once you got to the base of his neck by the collar of his shirt, he let out a surprisingly loud grunt that he tried to jam down into silence but had failed. It caught you off guard, the ways he displayed his pleasure.

You moved back in, eager to duplicate the noise as you paid special attention to his sweet spot. You suckled and glided your teeth over the pinpoint before he forced himself away. 

“Keep it below the collar, sweetheart.” His twangy southern drawl was drenched in pleasure.

You smirked as you tugged at the collar gently with your teeth, letting it go and seeing it snap back into place around his tan neck. 

His lips found the crook of your jawline, his lips brushing your earlobe as he took it between his teeth and gently nibbled. The sensation struck a nerve down your center, a weak whine echoing against the collar of his shirt as you tried to stay quiet. 

The air had warmed up with the sun’s presence, the birds starting to chirp. Your parents could wake up any minute now, being the early risers they were. 

You pulled away to gauge his reaction. Joel was looking between you and the horizon carefully. He was debating. You both had so little time. 

“Your parents.” He pointed out, his voice ridged with pain as he planted his body between yours, his large palms splayed on your lower back and upper thigh with his fingers ghosting your sleep shorts.

“Work.” You reminded, lightly tugging on the sleeve of his shirt, fingers delicately brushing over the faded Miller Contracting logo on his breast pocket. 

You’re compelled to tell him that you need him. Because you do. You need him terribly. 

There was a silence, a deliberation of the masses. Stop while you’re ahead, at least you and Joel realized you were on the same page about wanting more. You could let him go, you should let him go. Meet up another time when it was less risky. 

“You’re not pulling away.” Your whisper broke his thoughts. Your long lashes fluttered, and your eyes were filled with an eagerness only Joel could satisfy. 

He rolled his head around, jaw tight before shaking his head. 

“Well, you have needs.” His words were filled with grit, promise. Be quick. 

Your arms wrapped around his broad shoulders, feeling the planes of his back under your small palms. Both of Joel’s big hands moved under your t-shirt, your lips parting at the feeling of his calloused and rough hands traversing your soft body. He liked how soft you were, you could tell by the way he was delicately exploring you with his lips plastered on your neck. 

“Fuck, Joel,” you whisper, grinding your hips against his desperately while one of your hands wound into the damp curls at the base of his neck. He could use a haircut soon, the longer strands winding around your fingers.

His body loomed so much over you that you were arching your spine, your legs desperately wrapping loose around his waist until he had sufficiently guided you onto your back. 

Suddenly his presence lifted. You didn’t realize you were seeing stars until he pulled away. He had way too much of an effect on you. 

“Don’t have time to fuck you right, pretty girl.” His words made you puff out a desperate sigh. 

“But-” 

“But you have needs.” He finished for you, your head feverishly nodding. The truck bed had odd ribs, half your back raised up an inch while your other half was on a little slant. It was uncomfortable to lay your head down on. Once Joel was tugging down your sleep shorts, you were quick to forget the discomfort. 

A heavy breath left you as Joel tossed your shorts over his tool belt in the truck bed beside you, feeling him pull your body closer to the edge of the truck bed with your legs pried open for him. 

Your eyes widened as he sunk to the ground, jaw dropping as your eyes looked to the sky. Holy shit.

“Joel-” You clenched your eyes closed. “Outside? Are you serious?” Your scolded whispers were useless. Now that Joel knew you had these needs, he wasn’t going to let you be underserved. 

He perched one of your legs over his shoulder, the other spread to the side and held open by the warm palm of his hand. You could feel his hot breath on your inner thighs, your walls fluttering as he came closer and closer to your core with each kiss to the exposed skin. 

“On the tailgate, Joel?” You whimpered, a flash of concern passing over your face. 

“I know how much you love the truck, baby.” Son of a bitch. 

You wished every second with him right now wasn’t fleeting. You wished he could take his time. But the both of you were so wound up anyway, you were happy just to have him be a guest between your legs. 

Joel’s beard stubble tickled your thighs, his warm lips leaving a wet trail to your cotton underwear. Your hands needed to stay busy, one planting itself against one of the ribs of the truck bed and the other fisting his toolbelt that adorned a Carhartt patch. 

Joel’s mouth was absent for a moment. He was admiring you. Admiring you with your legs spread for him in his Longhorns shirt that was several sizes too big on you. Heat chased through your body, a sly little smirk on your lips. 

“Time is of the essence, Joel.” 

He didn’t say anything back. He was staring at the wet spot that had formed through the material of your panties. He hummed, cocky satisfaction filling him to the brim. 

Joel placed an excruciatingly soft kiss over your covered mound that had you writhing under him eagerly. His palm planted your thigh down again, feeling you quiver under his hold. 

You swallowed a lump down your throat as he pulled your underwear to the side, out of his fucking way. He was seeing you for the first time. It made your chest heave with shakier breaths. 

You were glistening for him, wet and gleaming in the sunshine that was starting to dance across the lake and over the truck. Panic flooded your core. He was taking his damn time. You needed him now. 

“Joel-” you warned again, but it was too late. 

His nose nuzzled against your clit as he flattened his tongue and licked up your center, tasting you properly. Your head dug into the truck bed, a loose moan leaving your parted lips as you closed your eyes and experienced a sweet paradise. His tongue flooded you with his saliva, Joel’s taste buds in galore as he tried you for the first time. 

You wondered if he thought about you tasting you like this before. The thought as well as his head between your legs left you humming in appreciation. 

Your free hand found its purpose, nestling your fingers into Joel’s hair while his head made gentle nods against your core. His jaw was slack, mouth lodged open as he consumed your sex in its entirety. He didn’t leave one centimeter of you unmarked. He commandeered the landscape like it was his territory, his possession. 

Puffs of his name left your mouth, you couldn’t help but be vocal when he made you feel this good. 

Joel’s tongue moved now with purpose, precision. He lapped at your entrance, tongue dipping in to feel your tight walls before moving back up and around your swollen clit. He was discovering you, what made you tick, what made you burn with passion and lust.

You held back moans of his name, bringing Joel’s shirt you wore up into your mouth by the collar to bite down onto. Your muffles were concealed by the material for now. 

You ground your hips lightly into his face, finding a rhythm you liked. He lets you. He wants you to feel good. 

Thumps of your heart pounded against your chest, Joel’s tongue still working perfect circles and swipes at your clit. He pulled away just for a moment to wet his fingers, you watch through hooded eyes. His amber ones flick to yours. Can I?

 You nod your head, a silent and desperate yes. 

He pursed his lips, face pierced with concentration as he pushed his middle finger into you, your walls welcoming the intrusion with a flood of arousal to allow him deeper. You took in a shaky gasp as he filled you to the knuckle.

“Fuckk-” you said a little too loud, your eyes widening as you covered your mouth and got a well-deserved glare from Joel. 

“Can’t hold yourself together, can ya, pretty girl?” His voice was as rough as gravel. 

You couldn’t even answer him back, the threads that held together your integrity were slowly plucking loose.  

You whimpered like crazy, the shirt swallowing as much of the noise as it could, but the rhythm of his finger and his mouth returning to your clit was sending electric currents through your entire body. You were short-circuiting with Joel’s tongue and fingers playing with your pussy. 

Joel’s mouth was warm, the taste of you a new hunger for him. You could hear his jeans scuff against the ground. He was trying to hold himself steady. The realization made you throw your head back, losing the shirt as a vice as you gripped his strands tighter between your knuckles. 

“Fuck, Joel--, ohmygod-” you whimpered quietly. The slurping of your cunt was louder than your words. The noise felt so loud in your pounding ear drums, you were worried it would wake the neighbors. The neighbors being your parents and Joel’s daughter.

You were close, even with just one of his fingers inside of you, you were close. You 

weren’t sure if it was because of your pent-up sexual tension, your vibrator dying, or your fingers not doing you justice. Maybe it was the fact that it was Joel Miller, but you were holding onto a very thin rope on the verge of snapping. 

You pulled your shirt up, releasing his toolbelt as your hand fondled your tits. You could feel him smirk against your thighs as you pinched at your hardened round nipples. 

“Such a pretty girl.. Taste so fuckin’ good too.” His words reverberate against your core, the vibrations tickling your clit and making you whine his name. His compliment caused a certain warmth in your chest.

Your head lulled from side to side. He wasn’t letting you know peace once he added a second finger. You had to take a moment to adjust but Joel could feel it, he knew exactly what to do and when. He was so seasoned, experienced, he’d be the first guy to make you cum like this. 

Your thigh against his head clenched tighter around his shoulder, keeping him in close against your core as he continued to work his tongue in figure eights around your clit. The soothing circles were creating a harmonious rhythm, your stomach felt like it was going to fall through a trapdoor. You weren’t going to last much longer. 

Then he tried something new. 

A loud gasp left your lips, your body scraping its way to sit up on your elbows as you watched him nibble and suckle at your clit. Your elbow had nicked his exposed flathead screwdriver in the process, a hiss seething from your mouth. It didn’t matter now. All your mind could focus on was Joel and his hellish tongue. 

The suckling at your clit unlocked something undiscovered, your lips parting in fascination before your head fell back and landed on the tops of your shoulders as you looked to the heavens with blurry vision. 

A lazy smirk was plastered on your face as he held you in place. You weren’t going anywhere.

Heated pants left your mouth, unable to breathe with the new sensation. The sucking was a distinct sensation, one you liked. You could feel his teeth just lightly grazing your sensitive bud. It made your thighs twitch, and your walls flutter around his still pumping fingers. 

Joel’s digits moved gently with their thrust, a gasp of his name flooding the air as he curled them deep, massaging your spongy walls. 

You were breathless. You could barely muster up anything besides his name weakly on your lips. You tried to tell him, but it was already too late. 

“J-Joel I’m-- I’m cominggg, shit,” you moaned out a little too loud. The whole valley around you echoed, or so it seemed. Joel’s protective grip tightened, your hips convulsing as you came over his tongue. He fucking loved it. He held you there and took you for everything you were worth.

You dropped to your back once more, his fingers still working a slow rhythm that he was insistent on not breaking until your walls stopped fluttering around his knuckles. You were still trying to come down to Earth when he licked you clean, your body twitching every time he flicked his tongue against your throbbing clit on purpose. Fucking asshole. 

Your hold on his hair loosens. You can’t help but make a face at the sight of him. Wild curly locks, mouth and chin covered in your slick, slightly flushed cheeks. He looked just as fucked as you did. He looked submissive on his knees, his eyes gleaming as he looked to you. 

You watch with obsession as he mindlessly pops his two fingers past his lips, licking them clean of your slick. Such a compliment. 

He guided your leg off his shoulder and put your underwear back in its place. 

You leaned up on your elbows, still seeing stars. Joel stood up from the ground and brushed any residual dirt and dust off his jeans. He brought his hand up and toyed with his jaw, meaty fingers adding pressure into the masseter muscle as he worked to relieve the tension that had built while going down on you with such dedication. 

You weakly sat up, the slotted ribs of his truck bed making indents in the flesh of your arms and thighs. Brands of your filth. Your big shirt fell back into place, your legs swinging lightly as they hung off the truck bed. You glanced at the back of your arm, seeing the scrape from his tools. You’d be fine. 

Once you turned straight to face Joel once more, you noticed he was fighting back a little smile about something, his hands on his hips and his knee cocked out.

“What?” You ask, trying to scoot further down the tailgate. 

“Nothin’.” He said gruffly, taking you by your hips and lifting you with ease like a ragdoll back onto the ground. His eyes stayed on the floor, your curious gaze following his down to your fluffy slippers. 

“Oh.” You muster up, clicking the toes together. 

“They’re uh… cute.” He tried to compliment, still with a teasing smirk on his face. 

“Shut up. They’re slippers.” You griped, your hand coming up to wipe away the glisten on his chin. He took over, pinching the collar of his shirt between his fingers and bringing it up to wipe away what was left of you. It was oddly attractive. 

He reached past his toolbox and belt, handing over your black sleep shorts after feeling over the material for a moment with a swipe of his thumb. 

You muster up a thanks, looping one foot in and then the other before you adjusted the band around your waist, the orange t-shirt falling back into place at your thighs. 

You couldn’t help but look around, the serenity of the early morning hours would only last so long on the lake. People liked to walk their dogs and jog, you didn’t want anyone reporting gossip. 

You turned back to Joel and assessed him. The Texas sun was already making both of your skin swelter, despite it being just past sunrise. 

You took in a sharp breath to say something, pursing your lips to keep them shut. Joel looked at you expectantly. 

“What?”

You shook your head and shrugged, holding your hands behind your back as you teetered on your feet. 

A stern expression passed over his face. “What?” He pressed harder. 

You tried to smother a laugh. “Your hair, Joel.” 

With an annoyed sigh, Joel amused trying to tousle his curls into place with the assistance of his truck’s driver-side mirror, grumbling a few curse words in response before leaving it be. 

You admire him, how handsome he looks so effortlessly. You suddenly became glaringly aware of how you looked right now. No makeup, baggy clothes, could use a shower. Fuck. 

“I gotta get goin’, already late.” Joel said as he returned  to the tailgate, lifting it with ease and slamming it into place with a few sharp snaps. “I’ll see you. And I’ll message you.” 

A small smile ticked at one half of your mouth, nodding. It was a promise. “Please call it texting, Joel.” 

He furrowed his brows as he looked over your face. “What difference does it make?”

You snickered and shrugged. “How old you sound.” 

Cue the classic Joel Miller eye roll. “Fine. Textin’.”

“How can you be working on a Saturday? That feels illegal.” 

This mustered up a short little chortle from Joel. “It’s not technically working, that’s why.” 

Your head curiously tilted to the side. “What do you mean?”

Joel shrugged, avoiding your eye contact as he looked past his truck and to the lake. 

This was what you had to deal with. Trying to get information out of Joel was an investigative effort, one you didn’t have the energy to dig into at the moment. You finally felt tired after your week of restlessness. 

You waved each other off, your face electric as you turned away from Joel and snuck back inside without a peep. As soon as you lay back in bed, feeling your heart thumping after your meet-up with Joel, you heard the door to your parent’s room crack open, and your father’s obnoxious morning yawn followed accordingly. Couldn’t have cut it any closer.

Finally, you felt sleep caressing the edges of your mind. Not a beat after your head hit the pillow, you felt your phone vibrate beside you. With hazy eyes, you turned it over in your palm and squinted at the brightness. 

joel miller Anything I can do to get in your good graces again?

You instantly smiled, lazy fingers typing a response. 

how about a movie night? 

He took a moment to respond. You could see him thinking it over in your mind’s eye. 

joel miller Fine. 

Your face lit up as you quickly took advantage of him owing you one. 

and I can pick the movie?

You could practically feel Joel’s eye roll from a mile away. 

joel miller Jesus. Fine. Tomorrow night. 

Tomorrow was perfect. Sarah said she would be on a camping trip and your parents would be visiting old school friends in a neighboring town for drinks and dinner. 

tomorrow night it is, mr. miller 

joel miller Whatever you say sweetheart.

---

wanna read part 3? read cherry!

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[psychedelic-ink]

𝐀 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫 - 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐈𝐧 𝐁𝐞𝐝

pairing: pre outbreak!joel miller x f!reader, one sided tommy miller x f!reader

genre: angst, smut, romance, slow burn, mutual pining, secret relationship

series summary: After your grandfather’s passing, you find yourself moving into his home in Texas. You meet the Millers; Tommy, his older brother Joel and his daughter Sarah. With time, you and Tommy become close friends and Sarah visits you often. But Joel…Joel keeps his distance. The reason for this is due to one crucial fact you don’t know but he does; Tommy has a crush on you. Which means you’re off limits no matter what. But as your own feelings for Joel grow, things start to get more and more complicated.

word count: 4k

chapter summary: Tommy is trapped in the tedious routine of life that he desperately wants to get out of.

warnings: male masturbation, thoughts of piv and oral, big brother issues, it is heavily implied that tommy has PTSD, tommy being a victim of morning wood

a/n: sorry for the long wait everyone! This chapter was a challenge because I do not feel confident in writing third person at all so hopefully, this turned out the way I hoped that it would! Thank you to the love of my life @pedrito-friskito for beta-reading & editing 💖💖💖

Chapter Two || Chapter Four

Gunpowder. All he can smell is gunpowder. 

Tommy sinks into the dirt, wet soil filling his mouth, eyes, ears. He’s drowning, but no one is slowing down to help him. He hears screams and gunshots. He sees one of his friends falling lifeless to the ground. Tears flood his eyes. He claws at the dirt, pulling himself back up. 

But he still feels as if he’s sinking. 

A bomb. Tanks. More screams. More dead bodies. 

It’s humid. His uniform sticks to him like a second skin. Another flash. Screams. He hears Joel. Tommy freezes. Joel isn’t supposed to be here. Joel is supposed to be home safe. Joel. He misses Joel. Misses his big brother who’s been looking out for him all this time. 

Tommy turns to him. He sees him on the front line. He’s not supposed to be here—He’s not—

A bullet whistles in the air, cutting his ear. He falls down, screaming. Another one sinks into his stomach, his arm, his chest. He cries. He can’t move. His legs don’t work. 

He stares at Joel but only sees his back.

Tommy jolts up from the bed. Sweat clings to his skin, a chill settling in his spine. His heart flutters in his chest; it hurts, it hurts to breathe. It’s gray outside, an ugly color that makes everything look slightly dusty. His chest heaves and he places a hand on top of his heart. He still feels afraid. Nightmares are nothing new, he’s woken up from many. However, seeing Joel has left a bad taste in his mouth. 

He kicks at the sheets and places his feet firmly on the floor. His eyes move to the small notebook that collects dust on his bedside table. He’s been told to write down his nightmares, especially the vivid ones. But honestly, why write down the very things he wants to forget? That therapist had no idea what they were talking about. 

“Fuckin’ stupid,” he grumbles while reaching out and grabbing the notebook. He flicks through the empty pages, he’s written down only his name, nothing else. A broken sigh falls from his lips and he throws it to the bed. 

Tommy doesn’t need to check the time to know that it’s 7 AM. He heads to the bathroom, stripping himself quickly, stepping into the shower. Baths have never really been his thing. Staying in the same place for too long still agitates him, makes his skin crawl. 

The warm water hitting his skin, he sighs. He stands still, allowing himself to enjoy the privilege he didn’t have a couple of years ago. Water feels good, be it cold, be it warm. Water droplets trickle down his body, rinsing the sweat of the nightmare. His face is relaxed as he stands under the pour. His entire body is at ease. Tommy doesn’t do much until his hair is wet throughout, then he reaches for the shampoo. 

He needs to pick up Joel and Sarah. After dropping Sarah to school, he and Joel have to pick up some supplies. His mind wanders to last night. He’d spent most of the night with Joel’s neighbor. It was a pleasant time. Tommy knew that he liked you the first moment he laid his eyes on you. You have something sad about you, something sweet. You're both the easiest and hardest person to read. Tommy is never quite sure what you want. 

The only thing he’s sure of is that you need a friend. And hopefully, he’s good at it. 

He also wants to get a few things to make your space cozier. Maybe a bean bag? A nice calming color to paint the walls— a light lavender perhaps? He knows you like purple. He’ll need Joel’s help with a couple of things, but Tommy doubts he’ll say no; his brother is as worried as he is after all. Tommy rinses his hair and drags the loofa across his body. 

You worry him. 

When he slides the loofa between his legs, he thinks of you. Your smell, your body, your smile. Fucking everything about you, he wants. You're funny, talented, and have enough self deprecation that made him feel less alone in the world. He entertains the idea that you might be into him, but maybe that’s a hopeful dream. The day Tommy attempted to kiss you…your eyes never left him after that. You looked scared, almost. A look he wasn’t pleased to see. 

It was easy to slip into the playful younger brother role. That was what people expected of him. You’d even said it. “It’s character.” You would know; you were the youngest as well. 

A shudder crawls up Tommy’s spine and he looks down. The warm water beats against the back of his neck, trickling down his back. He’s hard. Not fully erect, but hard enough that smoothing the loofa over it makes a tiny gasp fall from his lips. He repeats the motion, then brings the loofa up to his chest. After the water washes away the suds and dirt, he hangs the loofa to wrap a hand around his cock. 

He gives it a firm squeeze, toes curling against the smooth surface of the tub. He really should get it over it and not let his mind wander. However, Tommy can’t help it. He thinks about that night, but instead of you looking at him with unsure eyes, you look at him with lust. He kisses you, slow and soft, slipping his tongue between those lips he admires so much and licks the inside of your mouth. 

Tommy’s palm catches against the head of his cock, smearing the gathered precum across his shaft. He treats you tender and soft in his mind, but to himself—in the present—his strokes are hard and fast. It’s a force of habit really. Not much time to pleasure yourself in the army. 

He shakes his head, breathing out heavily through his nose. He doesn’t want to think about that. Tommy focuses on you. How you would get on her knees, pull down his pants and swirl your tongue around the tip of his cock. You would have trouble taking the whole thing in, and he would help you through it. Whispering words of praise and encouragement as his hips stuttered forward, filling that pretty mouth inch by inch until you were swallowing him down. 

God, the sounds you would make for him, choking and moaning. Tommy’s thighs shake, cock throbbing beneath his palm. The skin above his stomach tingles, every muscle taut like a slingshot being pulled back, ready to take aim. 

“S-Shit.” He braces one hand against the slippery wall, eyes squeezed shut. The image of you on your knees fades into one more animalistic. He has you bent over the kitchen counter, fucking himself into you with the sink still running. 

His hips stutter into his own hand, his balls tight and full. In his mind, the drag of his cock makes your entire body quiver underneath, you beg him to move faster, harder. You're so fucking wet that he can’t hardly believe it, his cock dripping with your slick. 

Tommy comes with a cry, spurting onto the wall and spilling over his knuckles. He continues to stroke himself, albeit a bit softer now. His moans echo in the bathroom, most of it being drowned out by the running water. His eyes flutter closed, hips moving to meet his hand. It feels good. He’s missed feeling good. Feeling satisfied.

The pleasure continues to buzz in his veins, making him feel more alive than ever. Letting out one last breath, he moves away from the wall and allows the water to run down his chest, over his arms and hands. He’s a mess. That’s how he feels. 

And the worst part: he doesn’t feel like he can’t do anything about it. 

Tommy’s day begins. 

His eyes linger on her house as he drives past, parks in Joel’s driveway. Heading inside, he directly heads for the kitchen, where Sarah and Joel are already seated, eating. There’s music echoing from the radio, it’s been turned down but Tommy’s ears picks up on soft guitar. 

“What we havin’?” 

“Waffles and orange seeds, apparently,” Joel grumbles, eyes glued to Sarah, flicking a seed onto the table. “Would it kill you to be more careful with the juicer?” 

“Perhaps. Besides, you’re the one who insisted on freshly squeezed.” Sarah grins, a bit of waffle poking out from between her teeth. 

Tommy chuckles, shaking his head. “I’ll just get somethin’ on the drive.” 

“No wastin’ time flirtin’ with the cashier, we can’t be late.” 

Tommy rolls his eyes. How long has it been since he flirted? Two months, maybe more, and Joel still freaking reminds him of it. “I’ll be quick, promise.” 

Joel gives him a nod but Tommy’s positive he doesn’t believe him; he never does. To Joel, Tommy never grew up. He was still that same snot-nosed kid that constantly needed his big brother to fend off the bullies. Apparently, the news that Tommy is now a grown man never reached Joel, which more often than not makes Tommy’s blood boil. 

Both Sarah and Joel get up at the same time, Sarah takes her father’s plate and puts the dishes into the sink. Joel heads upstairs. “I’ll be back in a sec,” he mutters, sounding agitated. 

Tommy contemplates going outside to smoke until he gets back but when Joel says a sec, it really does mean a sec. Sarah picks up her bag and throws it over her shoulder, she looks exactly like her mother with her hair loose. 

“Can I ask something?” she asks, and Tommy cocks his head to the side, nodding. “Could you come to school with me next week?” 

Tommy furrows his brow, confusion filling his head, “What for?” 

“Miss Crawford asked us to bring a family member that influenced us to school,” she states, smiling. “So, naturally, I thought of you.” 

“You—” he shakes his head. “You thought of me?” 

“Who else?” Sarah chuckles. “You’ve been around since I was a baby, Uncle Tommy, of course, you influenced me.” 

Joel comes down the stairs with loud steps, which he thinks is a blessing because Tommy has no idea how to reply to Sarah. He’s touched, to say the least. Never in his life would he think someone as brilliant as Sarah would be influenced by him, in whatever that meant. Tommy’s still staring at Sarah when Joel arrives, a leather jacket thrown over his shoulders. He gives Tommy a weird look. 

“What are you lookin’ at?” he asks, and Tommy just shrugs. 

“What’s with the jacket?” 

“It’s windy,” he grumbles. “I wanted to try somethin’ out.” 

Sarah snorts, “Really, Dad? Leather?” 

“Shut up and get your bag. We’re droppin’ you off first.” 

“Why do you always say that as if we do it differently every day?” 

“Just get your bag.” 

The drive goes as smoothly as it usually does. Tommy stops by the gas station; him picking up an apple fritter for himself, a black coffee for Joel (he always ends up eating half of whatever Tommy buys), and strawberry milk for his favorite — and only — niece. 

Only half of Joel’s black coffee remains by the time they stop by the school. The fritter now only crumbs on Tommy’s lap, and the strawberry milk box crushed and stuffed into Sarah’s backpack. She hops off, reminding Tommy of when he needs to get to school for her presentation, as she leaves. Joel shoots him a confused look. 

“Presentation?”

“Ah, nothing important,” he mutters, turning the steering wheel. “The teachers asked her to bring someone that influenced her.” 

“Oh, that’s nice.” 

“It is.” 

There’s a minute brief of pause before Joel speaks again, “I need your help with work today—” 

“What?” 

Tommy fights the urge to hit the steering wheel, the insides of his palms itch for friction so he ends up just squeezing it instead. Joel sighs, head falling back, he pinches the bridge of his nose. 

“M’sorry but there’s no way I can install the insulation on my own, you’re gonna need to help me.” 

“Joel, it’s my damn day off,” he grunts. “I have shit to do.” 

“Like?” 

“I wanted to check out some stuff I could buy for the room makeover— you know, the one I told you about?” 

Joel stills at his words, side-eyeing Tommy, and he sits up straighter. The younger Miller’s eyes are on the road but he can almost see a sad expression crossing the other’s face. He pushes the thoughts aside, he’s probably imagining it. 

“You were gonna do that today?” he asks, a strange warble to his voice. 

“Yeah.” 

“How ‘bout we get the things you need, then you help me? It won’t take long.” He swallows and rubs the pad of his thumb against the corner of his mouth. “And then you can go. It’ll take two hours tops,” 

“Promise?” 

“Promise.” 

Tommy should know by now to take his brother’s promises with a grain of salt. 

Of course they end up working until her shift is over, which means Tommy has to go pick you up and drive you home—well, he doesn’t have to, but he enjoys doing it, and the coffee house is on his route back. Initially, Tommy had been hoping to get to your place before your shift ended so they could start brainstorming before they got home. 

The turn signal blinks and the truck rumbles as he waits to turn. He has all the stuff for the room in the back; not a lot, just some paint he thought she might enjoy and a bean bag chair he thought would make a comfy seat. 

Joel apologized a million times, then promised to help with the room but Tommy isn’t so sure he wants his brother’s help anymore. He’s had a sour taste in his mouth after the whole day. He feels gross with the way his shirt clings to his skin with seat, and he’s just tired. Tired of everything. 

The light turns green. 

“Fuckin’ finally.” 

He’s anxious, hurting, and fully believes he does not belong. No matter what he does it never feels like he’s going any good. It’s the same routine, the same thing over and over again, day in and day out. Nothing ever changes. The world is still shit. His hands are tied. At this point he’s not even sure he’s doing any good by his family. He’s on the road of perpetual doubt and nothing else. 

But all of that—the hurt, the boredom, the helplessness—all of it vanishes when he sees you. 

You're out on the curb, looking down at your toes as you roll back to stand on your heels. It is windy out, which might be why you're hugging herself, the ends of your coat fluttering. 

Tommy honks two times and your face lights up, and so does his chest. He feels his cheeks aching from how wide his smile is, he pops the door open from the inside, you hurl herself in with a sigh. 

“I’m definitely not wearing the right clothes for this weather,” you murmur, the truck moving as soon as you shut the door. “Thanks for picking me up. How was your day?” 

His smile falters then. “It was…not that great, I guess. Sorry I couldn’t come by before your shift finished. Joel needed me.” 

“Hey, it’s fine,” you answer. You playfully hit the back of your hand to the side of his thigh. “It’s just a room, we can get to it later.” 

“Or tonight,” he says, eyes moving to you. “It’s still early, we can empty the room at least. And I have some stuff in the back I got for you.” 

“You got stuff for me?” 

A yellow light switches to red. Tommy shouldn’t have looked at you then, shouldn’t have seen the sparkle in your eyes, the red softening your features. Your smile is tired but wide. His heart skips a beat, and suddenly his head is filled with the same images he thought of in the shower. 

Tommy swallows thickly, the turn of his head strained as his hands anxiously stroke the steering wheel. You don’t notice. 

“I did,” he answers, sounding a bit breathless, jutting his thumb towards the trunk. “Not a lot, some paint, a bean bag chair.” 

You look over your shoulder. “You didn’t have to do that.” 

“You don’t like the bean chair?” 

“No, it’s not that,” you say slowly, the red turns green, he presses the gas. “I’m happy that you did. I just hate causing you trouble.” 

He laughs at that and shakes his head, he misses the way your eyebrows raise with surprise, “You could never be trouble,” he muses. “Not even if you tried.” 

The rest of the drive passes with pleasant conversation and you tell him that you're excited to spend Saturday night with Olivia. He smiles, nods, and jokingly asks if he can come and join girls' night. You punch his shoulder, saying that he can but he would have to wear a wig for the night. But despite the light conversation, Tommy feels incredibly antsy. An odd sensation of excitement eats at his stomach.

They carry the supplies and leave them in the living room, Tommy spots a blank canvas propped up on an easel as they head to the room. You follow him a minute later, both hands occupied with cold beer bottles and a bag of chips. 

“What color did you get?” you ask, handing him the bottle. 

“A very subtle lavender,” he adds. “At least that’s what the guy at the shop said, thought it would look nice.”  

“I love lavender.” 

“I thought you would,” he steps forward and looks around. “I guess we should start emptying the room.” 

The room has definitely seen better days. Every corner is thick with dust, the bookcase lined with more knick-knacks and photographs than books, more like a storage unit. He brings the cold bottle to his lips, picking up a picture from the middle shelf; a man and a woman on the beach, smiling, their toes dipped in the sand. You're next to him, cheek brushing against his shoulder. 

“My grandma and grandpa,” you explain. “I used to love that beach, we went almost every summer.” 

“Must’ve been fun.” 

“It was.” 

You take the picture and Tommy takes a gulp of his beer. He’s not good at handling others’ grief. He never knows what to do—hug them? Console them with words? Joel is much better at stuff like this. His older brother has a way about him that even if he does nothing, people still feel comforted. A gift, Tommy often thought. Joel, however, wouldn’t share the same sentiment. 

“Have you thought about what you want this room to be?” he asks, noticing a small-ish futon on the ground, pressed into the corner of the wall. 

“A studio would be nice. A space to paint, and read.” A bitter laugh escapes your lips, and Tommy’s stomach rolls. “Just a place to escape to basically.” 

“We all need someplace like that. You don’t need to feel bad about it.” 

You nod but Tommy is highly aware that his words have little effect. He takes another sip of his beer and puts it on the floor. You do the same, leaving him alone before returning with a few empty cardboard boxes. 

One by one, they fill the boxes, empty the room. Tommy asks about every object he touches; he asks for the attached memories, if you want to keep them or not. You don’t elaborate, just say keep or toss, keep or toss. As he places a book called New Larousse Encyclopedia of Mythology in the ‘keep’ box, he suddenly realizes why. He doesn’t like talking about the pain either. That notion for some reason resonates in him, he feels closer.

Maybe he should start. Not today, but someday. 

The night grows darker, the outside eerily silent. The light of the room tires his eyes and he takes a mental note to buy something better later on, something much softer preferably—

“You were in the military, right?” you suddenly ask, and a chill settles in his spine. “What branch were you in?” 

“Ah.” He balks for a second, then he remembers to breathe. “Marine Corps. Infantry.” 

She nods, humming at his answer. “My brother’s in the Marines.” 

He’d forgotten about your stepbrother, the question makes more sense now. “He still with ’em?” 

“Yeah, we don’t see much of each other but I miss him. He’s going to visit, at least that’s what he keeps telling me. You two should meet, talk it out,” 

Tommy chuckles at that, he wipes the sweat beading on his forehead with the back of his hand. “Talk it out?” 

“I don’t know.” you grin. “Share stories and stuff,” 

“I’d love to meet him.” He leans down and scoops his — now warm — beer bottle off the floor. Bravely, he takes a sip. You look around, pushing one of the boxes with your foot. 

“We’re almost done.” you fall to the futon, crossing your legs as you shimmy back into the wall. “Let’s rest a sec. Sit.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

When he sits, your head falls on top of his shoulder. Both of them stare at the empty bookcase, the wallpaper now looking more worn out, torn at the edges. 

“I worry about my brother,” you mutter. “How does Joel deal with all the worrying? Any ideas?” 

A chuckle vibrates in the back of his throat. “Joel ain’t worrying about me. You’ll have to ask someone else, sweetheart.” 

“Believe me, he does worry about you,” you answer as if stating the most obvious. “You’re his little brother; he’s always going to be worried about you.” 

The room falls silent after that. Tommy has no idea what to say to that, his chest feels heavy, his breathing nearly nonexistent, while your breathing is slow, steady. Your head is still on his shoulder. He’s highly aware that you're about to sleep. Your limbs go slack, eyes fluttering closed. Tommy slowly turns his head toward you, it takes everything in him not to brush his lips across your forehead. 

“You should go to bed,” he murmurs. “Come on, now. I’ll get out of your hair.” 

Much to his surprise, you stir and shake your head. “Too tired,” you slur, voice thick with sleep. “Let’s just stay here. What does it matter?” 

“I guess you’re right.” 

He slowly lays you down on to the futon, quickly following suit after switching the lights off. When he lays down, he’s uncomfortable. There’s nothing to cover himself with, the door is wide open, the dark hall taunting him. He can’t sleep. But of course, Tommy can’t tell you that. You're already cuddled into a ball, your back turned to him as soft snores begin to slip out your lips. 

Tommy listens. That’s all he can do. 

The dark taunts him.

Tommy wakes up with a buzz coming from his pocket. He blinks himself awake, he smells you first, then remembers where he is. His one arm is tucked under you while the other hangs loosely over your bare waist. 

Tommy’s eyes go wide, panic flooding his heart. You're so close, body pressed up against his. He fights the urge to clear his throat, and the urge to come closer. He’s absolutely horrified when you move, your backside brushing up against his cock. 

Shit. He’s hard as a rock. Fucking hell.

The buzz gets louder with every passing second. Tommy carefully peels himself away. As he lays on his back, he adjust himself so his situation isn’t totally obvious. With a silent groan, he tugs his phone out of his jeans and presses it to his ear. 

“Hello?” 

“Tommy,” Joel’s modulated voice echoes. “Where the hell are you? We’re late.” 

He groans, you're starting to wake up as well, a small moan falling from her lips. 

“Sorry,” Tommy answers. “I’m next door. I’ll be right there.” 

A moment of awkward silence is felt through the phone. Tommy’s eyebrows knit together; what the hell is that all about? 

“A’right,” Joel finally says. “Don’t keep me waitin’.” 

The line cuts off.

Another day begins. 

[humblequestvinyl]

mountain with a view

MOUNTAIN WITH A VIEW, EDDIE DIAZ X FEM!READER

APART OF THE ‘ROLLING UP THE WELCOME MAT’ SERIES

SUMMARY: after one too many late nights, y/n l/n is sitting at their kitchen table, debating if her and her husband's marriage is even worth fighting for.

inspired by mountain with a view, by kelsea ballerini

previous chapter, | next chapter,

lowercase is intentional! wc: 1.9k

warning: angst!!!!! swearing, marriage problems, trust issues (?) if there’s anything i missed let me know!

a/n: AHHH NEW SERIES W EDDIE <33! i'm so excited for this!! also my deepest apologies in advance bc i am so mean to eddie in this LMFAOO hope u guys enjoy <333

“COUNTRY STAR Y/N L/N HAS FILED FOR DIVORCE FROM HER HUSBAND, EDDIE DIAZ AFTER FIVE YEARS OF MARRIAGE.”

the voice of a news reporter flooded through the tv as photos of the former couple were placed on the screen. 

“L/N on instagram asked her fans on instagram to be mindful, and that both parties are fragile, and to respect their privacy.”the reporter went on, before a photo flashed of the h/c girl, “L/N is currently gearing up for her fifth album release; SUBJECT TO CHANGE this september.”

the video came to a stop, and she saw her best friend standing in front of her, with a horrified look on his face, “you and eddie are getting a divorce?” her heart hurt. this wasn’t how she wanted him to find out.

“it was bound to happen buck.”y/n’s voice was strained due to all of the crying she had done for the past two months, with a heavy feeling in her chest, “you and i both saw this coming.”

“i didn’t.” evan buckley’s voice dropped, and y/n slipped the shades to the top of her head, revealing her bloodshot eyes, “never once did i see this coming.”

“this wasn’t how we wanted you to find out.”her voice cracked, playing with the strings of her hoodie, “eddie said he was going to call you about it.” buck’s eyes watched as the girl avoided his eyes, refusing to make contact with them, knowing if she did she would probably burst into tears.

“why did you file for divorce?”

(TWO MONTHS BEFORE.)

STARING OUT THE BIG OPEN WINDOWS OF THEIR PENTHOUSE,

y/n could see the sun rising as she finished making breakfast for her and her stepson, making sure to leave some for her husband in case he came home in time.

eddie diaz and y/n l/n had first met when she was 21, and he was 23, one kick-starting on their music career, while one had just become a single parent to a son from a former marriage. somehow, they still made it work. getting married at 23 and 25,  going from texas, to los angeles, becoming a mother figure to his son chris, and making sure she could still go on tour.

they thought they had it all figured out, with everything working and a fixed schedule.

until they didn't.

so here she sat, waiting for her husband to come home while her stepson got ready for school, knowing she’d have to force a smile, make everything seem like it was okay, and be able to play the part of the perfect wife, perfect wife. it wasn’t until she smelt smoke that y/n realized the toast was burnt to absolute crisp, and was ruined, meaning she’d have to make more.  

“shit.”she muttered, rushing to make more, as she saw chris come down the hallway, and she forced a smile, brushing her h/c hair out of her face, making sure to tie it back.

“did you burn the toast again?”chris asked with a smile, and y/n forced a laugh, nodding before she brought over a plate with pancakes and eggs on them. “unfortunately, i did. i’m making more right now.”

a knock on the front door came, before it opened, revealing carla, and she had a wide smile spread across her face as she came in, and y/n waved as the toast popped up, less burnt than before. quickly placing it on a plate, and putting it on the table, making it so chris would be able to get to school on time.

“you go get ready for the day, i’ll make sure chris eats.”carla told the 28 year old, giving her a soft smile, and y/n nodded, before rushing off towards her room, and grabbing the clothing she needed for that day.

walking into the bathroom after she had changed, her eyes glanced down, seeing a wedding band that wasn’t hers sitting on the counter. 

it was her husband’s.

she felt anger run through her, with a million thoughts racing through her mind. why would he take it off? or why did he leave it at home? did he forget it? did he take it off intentionally before he left for work? 

why did he take it off?

“bye n/n!’chris yelled, breaking the girl out of her thoughts, and she gripped the counter, trying to keep her anger under check. “have a good day at school chris!”she yelled back, and the front door slammed, as she took a deep breath in.

it was a few moments before she walked back out towards the kitchen, noticing everything was put away, except for the burnt toast. opening up her refrigerator, y/n grabbed the butter out, and brought it over towards the kitchen table, before spreading the butter against the toast, and taking a bite out of it.

her eyes scanned back over the mountains as the clock struck 7:30 am, realizing her husband was over three hours late coming home, and had missed seeing his son in the morning for the second time that week.

it killed her. it absolutely killed her that he wasn’t coming home, and she was the one who was carrying all of that weight on her shoulders, trying to keep this marriage going when it was all one sided. she felt like a glass plate, and was breaking into a million pieces.

hearing boots come towards her, her head snapped towards it, seeing her husband eddie diaz walking towards her, before placing a kiss on the top of her head, with no words spoken between the two.  the tension in the air made her uncomfortable. it was so thick that you could almost cut it through it with a knife.

it was a while before any words were spoken between the two, and when they were, they were laced with anger and confusion.

“you left your ring at home.”y/n spoke up, taking another bite of the burnt toast, afraid to see the look her husband was giving her, “and you were late coming home again.”

“i forgot it when i left.”eddie admitted, glancing over at his wife for a moment, before looking back at his plate of food, “and i was finishing up something with buck.”

wrong. he wasn’t with buck, because buck had texted y/n back at five, saying he hadn’t seen eddie since he left his shift at 4am. 

“what? you don’t believe me?”eddie questioned, as y/n got up to throw the toast away, keeping silent for a moment, debating on how to handle the situation, before she shook her head no.

“i don’t believe you.”y/n admitted, placing the plate in the sink, avoiding eye contact with him, and she could feel the anger radiating off of him, “because buck texted me at five that he hadn’t seen you since you left your shift at four.”

she saw eddie freeze, knowing he had gotten caught into a lie, and y/n had seen right through it. he wouldn’t be able to hide whatever he was away for.

“okay fine, i wasn’t with buck.”eddie admitted, causing y/n to lean up against the kitchen counter, facing her husband to read his body language.

“so, where were you?”

“i don’t understand why you need to know.”eddie shrugged, getting defensive, causing y/n to read all the red flag, “it doesn’t matter to you at all.”

“it does matter to me eddie.”y/n spoke softly, fearing of an argument breaking out, but it was enviable with the two. “i want to make sure you’re not sitting in the goddamn morgue.”

“well guess what, i’m not.”eddie spewed, catching y/n off guard, “i’m standing right in front of you, trying to eat breakfast while you’re bothering me.”

“because i want for you to realize that i’m worried about you.”she told him, and she could tell he was dismissive, “i wait up for you every night, only for you to not come home until chris is about to leave for school.”

“and i never asked you to do that.”he stabbed his eggs with his fork, and y/n tensed up, “that’s your own doing for staying up and waiting.” y/n gave him a look as she took his words like gut punches, making her absolutely sick, “maybe you should just stop staying up and waiting.”

“maybe you should come home on time.”y/n shot back, folding her arms as she watched him closely, “to the family you have. to your son.”

“i do!”eddie defended, and y/n shook her head, “no you don’t! for the past four months you’ve been late coming home after every single shift eddie!” 

“you’re forgetting your ring, you’re not coming home on time and you’re distant.”y/n pointed out as eddie brushed past her to put his plate in the sink, and walked towards their shared bathroom, slipping his wedding band on, “there! are you happy now?”

“no i’m not!”y/n exclaimed as eddie started to change, and she followed him, “we’ve been in and out of therapy for the past three years and absolutely nothing has changed eddie. i’m so tired of it.”

“i mentally cannot handle another year of us being just fine.”y/n whispered, causing eddie to snap his head towards her, with a shocked look spread across his face, “what are you trying to say?”

“i want a divorce.”y/n spoke aloud, making all of her feelings real, and she saw eddie’s face fall.

“you want a divorce? all because i’m taking extra shifts to try and provide for our family? to pay for the mortgage for the house you insisted we had to have.”he shot back, and y/n felt her anger bubble over, causing her to snap, “you don’t even pay for the house! i do! it’s under my name and everything! not yours!”

“i’m the one who pays for the cleaners, the groceries, the electric!”she yelled, as the two stood in their bedroom, one that hadn’t felt like theirs in months. “i feel like i’m the only one who’s doing all the work all the time because you’re never home!”

“you loved me way more at 23 than you do now eddie, and that's a fact.”she told him as she brushed past him to pack a bag, “i cannot keep doing this anymore.”

“you’re just like your parents. giving up way too easy on our marriage.” eddie swore, and y/n felt something snap inside of her. “first off, don’t you dare talk about my parents! secondly, i have tried for months to get through to you.”

“you’re the one who never came to nashville when i called you begging to hop on that flight, one i paid for by the way!”y/n exclaimed, zipping up the bag she had packed, “i knew you had the week off and didn’t have chris at all and you still refused to come.”

“i’m done trying eddie.”she finished, before storming past him and walking towards the front door of their penthouse.

“so you’re done?”he questioned as she grabbed her car keys, and opened up the front door, staring right back at him with tears in her e/c eyes.

“this is when it’s over for me.”

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Zoë Schlanger at The Atlantic:

In the United States, as in most other countries, weather forecasts are a freely accessible government amenity. The National Weather Service issues alerts and predictions, warning of hurricanes and excessive heat and rainfall, all at the total cost to American taxpayers of roughly $4 per person per year. Anyone with a TV, smartphone, radio, or newspaper can know what tomorrow’s weather will look like, whether a hurricane is heading toward their town, or if a drought has been forecast for the next season. Even if they get that news from a privately owned app or TV station, much of the underlying weather data are courtesy of meteorologists working for the federal government.

Charging for popular services that were previously free isn’t generally a winning political strategy. But hard-right policy makers appear poised to try to do just that should Republicans gain power in the next term. Project 2025—a nearly 900-page book of policy proposals published by the conservative think tank the Heritage Foundation—states that an incoming administration should all but dissolve the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, under which the National Weather Service operates. Donald Trump has attempted to distance himself from Project 2025, but given that it was largely written by veterans of his first administration, the document is widely seen as a blueprint for a second Trump term.

NOAA “should be dismantled and many of its functions eliminated, sent to other agencies, privatized, or placed under the control of states and territories,” Project 2025 reads. The proposals roughly amount to two main avenues of attack. First, it suggests that the NWS should eliminate its public-facing forecasts, focus on data gathering, and otherwise “fully commercialize its forecasting operations,” which the authors of the plan imply will improve, not limit, forecasts for all Americans. Then, NOAA’s scientific-research arm, which studies things such as Arctic-ice dynamics and how greenhouse gases behave (and which the document calls “the source of much of NOAA’s climate alarmism”), should be aggressively shrunk. “The preponderance of its climate-change research should be disbanded,” the document says. It further notes that scientific agencies such as NOAA are “vulnerable to obstructionism of an Administration’s aims,” so appointees should be screened to ensure that their views are “wholly in sync” with the president’s. The U.S. is, without question, experiencing a summer of brutal weather. In just the past week, a record-breaking hurricane brought major flooding and power outages to Texas amid an extreme-heat advisory. More than a dozen tornadoes ripped through multiple states. Catastrophic flash flooding barreled through wildfire burn scars in New Mexico. Large parts of the West roasted in life-threatening temperatures. Facing any of this without the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration would be mayhem. And future years are likely to be worse.

The NWS serves as a crucial point of contact in a weather crisis, alerting the public when forecasts turn dangerous and advising emergency managers on the best plan of action. So far in 2024, the NWS has issued some 13,000 severe-thunderstorm warnings, 2,000 tornado warnings, and 1,800 flash-flood warnings, plus almost 3,000 river-flood warnings, according to JoAnn Becker, a meteorologist and the president of the union that represents NWS employees. NOAA is also home to the National Hurricane Center, which tracks storms, and the Office of Marine and Aviation Operations, whose pilots fly “hurricane hunter” planes directly into cyclones to measure their wind speed and hone the agency’s predictions. NOAA even predicts space weather. Just this past May, it forecast a severe geomagnetic storm with the potential to threaten power grids and satellites. (The most consequential outages never came to pass, but the solar storm did throw off farmers’ GPS-guided tractors for a while.) Privatizing the weather is not a new conservative aim. Nearly two decades ago, when the National Weather Service updated its website to be more user-friendly, Barry Myers, then executive vice president of AccuWeather, complained to the press that “we work very hard every day competing with other companies, and we also have to compete with the government.” In 2005, after meeting with a representative from AccuWeather, then-Senator Rick Santorum introduced a bill calling for the NWS to cease competition with the private sector, and reserve its forecasts for commercial providers. The bill never made it out of committee. But in 2017, Trump picked Myers to lead NOAA. (Myers withdrew his nomination after waiting two years for Senate confirmation.)

Funding for many of NOAA’s programs could plummet in 2025, and the agency already suffers from occasional telecommunications breakdowns, including a recent alert-system outage amid flooding in the Midwest. It is also subject to political pressures: In 2019, the agency backed then-President Trump’s false claim (accompanied by a seemingly Sharpie-altered map) that Hurricane Dorian was headed for Alabama. Private companies might be better funded and, theoretically, less subject to political whims. They can also use supercomputing power to hone NOAA’s data into hyperlocal predictions, perhaps for an area as small as a football stadium. Some, including AccuWeather, use their own proprietary algorithms to interpret NWS data and produce forecasts that they claim have superior accuracy. (Remember, though: Without NWS data, none of this would happen.)

[...] The NWS also has perks that a private system would be hard-pressed to replicate, including a partnership with the World Meteorological Organization, which allows the U.S. access to a suite of other countries’ weather models. International collaboration proved crucial in 2012, when Hurricane Sandy was still churning in the Atlantic Ocean. Initially, the American model predicted, incorrectly, that the storm would turn away from the East Coast. But the European model accurately forecast a collision course, which bought emergency managers in the U.S. crucial time to prepare before Sandy made ferocious landfall in New Jersey.

Project 2025 could have an impact on how accurate and precise weather forecasts are delivered, since NOAA and NWS could be significantly altered.

This is one of many reasons why we must vote Blue up and down the line.

See Also:

Daily Kos: Project 2025 will affect every part of life. Even weather updates

[jawritter]

Something About Fate

Chapter 5

Summary:  Y/N has been homeless and living on the streets of Dallas, Texas since the start of Covid. Until one day, a handsome, green eyes strange notices her and turns her whole world upside down.

Warning: Change, even good change, can be scary, and even a little hard…

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader (eventually).

Word Count: 2k

A/N: This series is completely unbeta’d, so all mistakes are mine! This series will contain mature content eventually, and therefore is unsuitable for persons under 18 years of age! Anyone under the age of 18 will be blocked for my blog! Thanks so much for reading! I hope you all enjoy this series!

Main Masterlist                  Series Masterlist

Y/N looked out of the window of the expensive looking Van that had picked Jensen and herself up from the airport as soon as they landed in LA with somewhat of a shocked awe at all the sights that slowly passed her by in the crawling, busy streets. 

Sure, Dallas had some pretty impressive buildings, but the people here were just—different. For one, there were so many of them. Which might be attributed to the fact that it was a great deal warmer here than it had been in Dallas, but Y/N doubted that. It was still very early in the day, and they were out in droves. She doubted that as the day drew on, or when night started to fall, things would get any quieter. 

Everything was so much brighter here too. Even the signs and the billboards that flashed on the side of buildings were brighter. It made the little big town of Dallas she’d come from seem so cold and outdated. 

Then it hit her. This was Jensen’s life and had been since he was a young boy. It was sooo different than the one she’d led, even if she hadn’t ended up living on the streets. Which made her wonder even more why the hell the man was doing what he was doing? Why he cared about just another blurry face on the street in the middle of what these people would probably consider nowhere and pulled her out of the life she was in with the intent to sit her back on her feet. It just made sense. 

“The place we’re staying at isn’t in town,” Jensen voiced suddenly from beside her. “And I will have a rental car waiting for us so that we can get around when and where we need to without too much assistance. I prefer the seclusion and privacy over all this noise. It won't take us long to get there after we get out of all this traffic.” 

She nodded as her eyes drifted back to the window just in time for Y/N to turn to face the window once again and see Jensen’s face just outside of her car window, plastered alongside his castmates for the series he’d recently done, The Boys.

That’s when it really, really struck her, the gravity of the difference in worlds the pair of them were from, and it set heavily, like a rock in the center of her gut. She wasn’t even sure she was breathing as she stared dumbly at his face on the billboard. 

There was a flood of emotions that settled over her like a wet blanket, fear being the primary one. In fact, when someone was to really think about it, there was a lot to fear here. Sure, they’d spent a few days in Dallas together, and sure, Jensen had promised her a lot in the time they’d spent together, and he’d already made good on a lot of those promises. He even gave her a key to his fucking car and his house! 

But his life was a very public one. He’d once been married, he’d had a family, he’d had a life she’d never even begin to understand. He had a thousand girls throwing themselves at him online constantly, and the selection of that pool had to be better than anything that he saw in her. There was the fear that he’d come to that conclusion and kick her out, just as fast as this had started, it had the potential to end. 

Then there was the fear of screwing up. There were a lot of eyes watching her now, because she was working for him. Surely the public would notice her eventually, and when they did, they were going to rip her apart about everything she did, right or wrong. That was utterly terrifying to even think about. 

“Hey,” Jensen said, grabbing her hand in his own, and pulling her attention back towards him. She was so lost in her worry, she’d barely realized that they’d made it out of the city, and there was a blur of greenery flying by their window. “You haven’t said a word since we left the airport. Are you feeling, okay?”

“I’m okay,” she assured him, she could see it on his face, he was worrying over her again, and that wasn’t the first time she’d noticed him doing it either. It made her feel horrible every time she saw him doing it, guilty for making him worry about her, when honestly, she should be on cloud nine right now! She was living every girl’s dream! “A little tired I guess I didn’t really sleep a whole lot on the flight here.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry I booked us so early. Next flight we take will not be before the asscrack of dawn I promise,” he said, but didn’t let go of her hand as his pale green orbs searched her face, trying to read her. He did that a lot too.

“I’ll get used to it,” she attempted to downplay things a little to settle his nerves. “I’ve never really traveled anywhere myself outside of Dallas, I used to book things for other people, but never did it myself. There’s a big difference between booking a trip and actually traveling, I guess.”

“I moved here when I was just a teenager, literally right after high school, so I get it. Everything looks so out there and feels foreign, but after a few years of coming back and forth from different towns to different towns, it’s not as jarring anymore. This summer we’re gonna be spending some time in Vancouver. Honestly, out of all the places I’ve been, that one feels most like home to me. I spent a long time there.”

“I don’t have a passport,” she reminded him, but he just shrugged it off. 

“That’s fixable, as soon as we get back to Austin, I’ll make sure all of that’s taken care of. I'm more concerned about the fact that I’ve thrown a lot of life changes your way in a short amount of time and I want to make sure you’re okay with it.”

Y/N sighed a little in spite of herself. It was a lot. It was fast. Still, what was the alternative? Freezing to death on a sidewalk in Dallas? Nope, this was better, even if she did have whiplash and a lot of shit at stake. 

“It’s a lot”, she admitted, “I’d be lying if I said that it wasn’t, but I’ll rebound, I promise—”

“Hey,” Jensen said, squeezing her hand and halting her to keep her from talking so fast that she was about to hyperventilate, which made her face burn hot with embarrassment. “It’s okay to be a little turned around and freaked out. I kinda ripped you away from everything you’ve ever known in less than 72 hours. Anyone would be a little off kilter after that for a while. I’m not mad about it, nor am I gonna be, but if you need to take five, or if it gets too much, you have to be honest with me… okay? I can’t don’t know how you’re feeling unless you tell me.”

Y/N swallowed the hug knot she had in her throat and nodded, just in time for the car to come to a stop in front of a private little house, far enough outside of town to be unbothered by prying eyes, but close enough to get a Door Dash delivery and an Uber if you need it.

Robotically, eyes still glued to the pristine white exterior with dark green shutters and a cute little front porch with a slightly weather porch swing and rose bushes lining the stone trail that led to the tiny red front door that created a very inviting, homie vibe, Y/N realized something. It had been three years since she’d stepped foot inside of a house, much less stayed in one. 

Pressure immediately started to build behind her eyes, and a hundred-pound weight set itself on her chest as her eyes shifted over every little perfect imperfection of the little cottage. This was heavy. She thought she’d never see something like this again, only in her dreams. 

Maybe it was a good thing that Jensen was taking her here first, because she was sure his home was massive in comparison to this one, and if this one was hitting her in the feels like this… she could only imagine what it was going to be like when she pulled up to her new ‘home’. 

“You coming, sweetheart?” Jensen questioned, his voice jarring her, and causing her to look in his direction. He was standing in the middle of the little path that led to the house, bags in his hands, her little bag of belongings on his shoulder, and a deeply concerned look on his face. 

“Yeah, sorry,” Y/N attempted to shake it off. But she could tell for all of her bravo acting, Jensen wasn’t convinced. Guess you can’t bullshit a bullshitter. That’s what actors did right? Bullshit you into believing they’re feeling what they’re feeling while they were in front of a camera to make it real? Right?

She knew she had some deep seeded trust issues, but apparently, she had more than she thought she had, ‘cause now she was wondering as she forced her feet to move, and began to follow him up the little trail of stone to the porch, whether she’d ever really be able to trust anyone again after all she’d been through, especially someone as good at acting as this man obviously was...

Forever:

@bubsonnobx​​​​

@britnwinchester​​​​​​​​​​​

@samanddeaninatrenchcoat​​​​​​​​​​

@wittysunflower

@demongirl1996​​​​​​​​​​​  

@as-lost-as-sams-shoe​​​​​​​​​​​

@jensenslady79​​​​​​​​​​​

@spnwoman​​​​​​​​​​​

@stoneyggirl2​​​​​​​​​​​

@unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men​​​​​​​​​​​

@stixnstripesworld​​​​​​​​​​​

@fullwattpadmusictree​​​​​​​​​​​

@nancymcl​​​​​​​​​​​

@christycreature​​​​​​​​​​​

@whiskey-infused-dreams​​​​​​​​​​​

@supernatural79impala​​​​​​​​​​​

@deandreamernp​​​​​​​​​​​

@forgetthisbull​​​​​​​​​​​

@miraclesoflove​​​​​​​​​​​

@slamminmine​​​​​​​​​​​

@deanwanddamons​​​​​​​​​​​

@rvgrsbrns​​​​​​​​​​​

@chevyharvelle​​​​​​​​​

@i-love-superhero-movies​​​​​​​​​​​

@lyss-dw79​​​​​​​​

@magssteenkamp​​​​​​​​​​​

@lemondropirwin​​​​​​​​​​​

@squirrelnotsam​​​​​​​​​​​

@hobby27​​​​​​​​​​​

@spnbaby-67​​​​​​​​​​​  

@mrsjenniferwinchester​​​​​​​​​​​

@defenderrosetyler​​​​​​​​​​​

@thecreatiivecorner​​​​​​​​​​​  

@vicmc624​​​​​​​​​​​

@busy-bee-angel-misska​​​​​​​​​​​

@justanotherwinchester​​​​​​​​​​

@brilovesdeanwinchester​​​​​​​​​​

@idksupernatural​​​​​​​​​​​

@lyarr24​​​​​​​​​​​

@emoryhemsworth​​​​​​​​​​​

@dean-winchesters-gardian-angel​​​​​​​​​​​

@flamencodiva​​​​​​​​​​​

@itmejado

@thoughts-and-funnies​​​​​​​​​​​

@teresa-67​​​​​​​​​​​

@hearteyes-j2​​​​​​​​​​​

@peaches007​​​​​​​​​​​

@bobbie3939​​​​​​​​​​​

@vulgar-library​​​​​​​​​​​

@writercole​​​​​​​​​​​

@fairlyspnfanfic​​​​​​​​​​​

@sexyvixen7​​​​​​​​​​​

@spngi​​​​​​​​​​​

@b3autyfuldisast3r​​​​​​​​​​​

@donnaintx​​​​​​​​​​​

@maliburenee​​​​​​​​​​​

@the-family-business67​​​​​​​​​​​

@agirlwithdemonblood​​​​​​​​​​​

@captainsoldiergirl​​​​​​​​​​​

@twinkleinadiamondsky​​​​​​​​​​​

Jensen and Dean’s Babes

@deans-baby-momma​​​​​​​​​​​  

@impalaslytherin​​​​​​​​​​​

@perpetualabsurdity​​​​​​​​​​​

@msmarvelouswinchester​​​​​​​​​​​

@akshi8278​​​​​​​​​​​

@love-jackles​​​​​​​​​​​

@irmcpar​​​​​​​​​​​

@pink-sparkly-witch​​​​​​​​​​​

@deans-spinster-witchs-favorites​​​​​​​​​​​

@herstarburststories​​​​​​​​​​​

@mimaria420​​​​​​​​​​​

@deanwinchesterswitch​​​​​​​​​​​

@charred-angelwings​​​​​​​​​​​

@pascal-rascal424​​​​​​​​​​​

@myloversgone​​​​​​​​​​​

@fortheloveof-jackles​​​​​​​​​​​

@eevvvaa​​​​​​​​​​​

@bts-spnlvr12​​​​​​​​​​​

@jxackles

@lassie-bird​​​​​​​​​​​

@samsgirl93​​​​​​​​​​​

@shawnie74​​​​​​​​​​​  

@kaz11283​​​​​​​​​​​

@mlovesstories​​​​​​​​​​​

@ladysparks78

@sarahgracej​

SAF tag list

@itsdesiree86​

@evilunicorns4minions​​

@jesllianaquilesrolonsworld​​

@thefemalestorywriter​​

@tapedeck-hearts​​​

@tristanrosspada-ackles​  

@southerngal96

@mavisiceroo

[mariacallous]

If you’re one of the millions of Americans worried about your pocketbooks and the general cost of living, you might have picked up on some good news recently: Inflation has really been cooling off this summer, as long-sticky (and long-lamented) food and energy prices continue to moderate. Some economic indicators remain stubborn, however—and they aren’t likely to abate anytime in the near future, no matter how long the Federal Reserve keeps interest rates high, what tweaks President Joe Biden makes to his trade policy, whether corporations decide themselves to slash prices on certain products, or whether Covid-battered supply chains finally get some long-needed fixes.

Other, grimmer recent headlines help to explain why. Hard rains from a tropical disruption in the Gulf have been battering Florida’s southern regions for days, leading to a rare flash-flood emergency. Another batch of storms is swirling near Texas at the moment and could form into a tropical depression, according to forecasts from the National Hurricane Center. Even if both states end up missing bigger storms now, it’s likely only a matter of time before they’re threatened again: The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration predicts that the United States will see its worst hurricane season in decades this summer.

Meanwhile, the heat waves that have enveloped Phoenix are intensifying to the point that some analysts are deeming its latest conditions “a Hurricane Katrina of heat.” Spanning outward, the Midwest and Northeast are projected to get their own extreme heat warnings as early as next week, with energy demand set to skyrocket as people turn on their air conditioners. The country has already seen 11 “billion-dollar disasters” this year, including the tornadoes that slammed Iowa just weeks ago. Meanwhile, the already strapped Federal Emergency Management Agency faces a budgetary crisis, and sales of catastrophe bonds are at an all-time high.

Now, let’s look back at the inflation readings. One of the categories remaining stubbornly high while other indicators shrink? Shelter and housing, natch, as rents and insurance stay hot—and still-elevated interest rates make construction and mortgage costs even more prohibitive. On the energy front, motor fuel may be cheapening, but fuel and electricity for home use are still pricey. Auto insurance remains a driving outlier, as I noted back in April, not least because of insurers hiking premiums for cars in especially disaster-vulnerable regions—like the South, the Southwest, and the coasts.

Look at what else is happening in those very regions when it comes to home insurance: Providers are either retreating from or dramatically heightening their prices in states like California, Texas, Florida, and New Jersey, thanks to their unique susceptibility to climate change. These states have seen supercharged extreme weather events like floods, rain bombs, heat waves, and droughts. National lawmakers fear that the insurance crises there may ultimately wreak havoc on the broader real estate sector—but that’s not the only worst-case scenario they have to worry about.

Agricultural yields for important commodities produced in those states (fruits, nuts, corn, sugar, veggies, wheat) are withering, thanks to punishing heat and soil-nutrition depletion. The supply chains through which these products usually travel are thrown off course at varying points, by storms that disrupt land and sea transportation. Preparation for these varying externalities requires supply-chain middlemen and product sellers to anticipate consequential cost increases down the line—and implement them sooner than later, in order to cover their margins.

You may have noticed some clear standouts among the contributors to May’s inflation: juices and frozen drinks (19.5 percent), along with sugar and related substitutes (6.4 percent). It’s probably not a coincidence that Florida, a significant producer of both oranges and sugar, has seen extensive damage to those exports thanks to extreme weather patterns caused by climate change as well as invasive crop diseases. Economists expect that orange juice prices will stay elevated during this hot, rainy summer.

(Incidentally, climate effects may also be influencing the current trajectory and spread of bird flu across American livestock—and you already know what that means for meat and milk prices.)

It goes beyond groceries, though. It applies to every basic building block of modern life: labor, immigration, travel, and materials for homebuilding, transportation, power generation, and necessary appliances. Climate effects have been disrupting and raising the prices of timber, copper, and rubber; even chocolate prices were skyrocketing not long ago, thanks to climate change impacts on African cocoa bean crops. The outdoor workers supplying such necessities are experiencing adverse health impacts from the brutal weather, and the recent record-breaking influxes of migrants from vulnerable countries—which, overall, have been good for the U.S. economy—are in part a response to climate damages in their home nations.

The climate price hikes show up in other ways as well. There’s a lot of housing near the coasts, in the Gulf regions and Northeast specifically; Americans love their beaches and their big houses. Turns out, even with generous (very generous) monetary backstops from the federal government, it’s expensive to build such elaborate manors and keep having to rebuild them when increasingly intense and frequent storms hit—which is why private insurers don’t want to keep having to deal with that anymore, and the costs are handed off to taxpayers.

When all the economic indicators that take highest priority in Americans’ heads are in such volatile motion thanks to climate change, it may be time to reconsider how traditional economics work and how we perceive their effects. It’s no longer a time when extreme weather was rarer and more predictable; its force and reasoning aren’t beyond our capacity to aptly monitor, but they’re certainly more difficult to track. You can’t stretch out the easiest economic model to fix that. And you can’t keep ignoring the clear links between our current weather hellscape, climate change, and our everyday goods.

Thankfully, some actors are finally, belatedly taking a new approach. The reinsurance company Swiss Re has acknowledged that its industry fails to aptly factor disaster and climate risks into its calculations, and is working to overhaul its equations. Advances in artificial intelligence, energy-intensive though they may be, are helping to improve extreme-weather predictions and risk forecasts. At the state level, insurers are pushing back against local policies that bafflingly forbid them from pricing climate risks into their models, and Florida has new legislation requiring more transparency in the housing market around regional flooding histories. New York legislators are attempting to ban insurers from backstopping the very fossil-fuel industry that’s contributed to so much of their ongoing crisis.

After all, we’re no longer in a world where climate change affects the economy, or where voters prioritizing economic or inflationary concerns are responding to something distinct from climate change—we’re in a world where climate change is the economy.

[dancesinlight]

Quite the weather we are having. My gazebo is no more. Lawn furniture strewn about. Off and on power. Severe weather and Flash Flood warning in effect. MONDAY in SE Texas! **chuckles** y'all have a good one..

[waywardnerd67]

Broken Road

Title: Broken Road Summary: She moved to Helena to escape her past to end up running into the one who got away. Main Characters: Beau Arlen, Reader Pairing: Beau Arlen x Reader Rating: X - Explicit Warnings: Angst/Fluff/Implied Smut Word Count: 5132 A/N: My first go at Beau…

(Y/N) sped past the city limit sign of Helena, Montana. From all the research she had done, Helena was the perfect spot to start new. Small town vibes but populated enough to have a Starbucks. As she drove down the main street in town, she took note of a few shops to visit. One sign caught her eye, Dewell & Hoyt Private Investigations.

She chuckled, “Wow a real life Scooby-Doo gang.”

Focusing on the road in front of her, (Y/N) headed towards the small ranch her dad had purchased and left for her before his death. The last five years had been the darkest of her life. Between an ugly divorce and her dad dying in a drunk driving accident, (Y/N) didn’t think she would make it through it. A cold chill ran down her spine as flashes of what she had drug herself out of speed through her mind.

Cresting over a hill, the beautiful golden log ranch house came into view. It rested on a modest ten acres of land with thick woods lining the property line. Immediately all the anxiety and heaviness she constantly carried on her shoulders faded. For the first time in years, (Y/N) took a long, deep, relaxing breath.

For the next several weeks, (Y/N) settled into her new home and getting to know her new town. She even found a little bookshop that was looking for a part time clerk. It was the perfect opportunity for her to earn extra money while making time to work on writing her book. She couldn’t help thinking that her dad had some kind of idea of knowing that this move would be exactly what she needed.

Walking into Turn the Page bookshop, (Y/N) found Loryn, the owner talking with a woman with long auburn hair up into a messy bun. Her thick rimmed glasses slipped down her nose as she spoke animatedly. Loryn glanced up seeing (Y/N) walking towards the backroom.

“Good morning! Fresh coffee in the pot and a box of brand new books waiting for ya.”

She smiled, “You’re too good to me.”

The woman’s head perked up, “You have a similar accent to our new, handsome sheriff. Are you from Texas?”

“Um… yeah, I am. I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” She held out her hand as the woman took it.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Denise. I work over at Dewell and Hoyt.” Denise shook her hand as she asked, “Have you met our new sheriff?”

“Thankfully, I haven’t gotten into any trouble to merit meeting the sheriff. You said he’s from Texas? Do y’all get many Texans up here?”

Denise shook her head, “Not really. Sexy Sheriff Arlen is the first I’m aware of.”

(Y/N) froze hearing his name. Memories that had been buried deep in the dark hole of her mind were playing like a movie.

“(Y/N), you alright?” Loryn asked, squeezing her arm.

It had to be someone else. There was no way it could be the same man from high school. The man who was the love of her life. The one that got away.

“H-His name wouldn’t happen to be Beau?”

By the expressions on their faces, she knew it was him and suddenly the room felt like it was closing in on her.

“You know him? Do all Texans know one another?” Denise chuckled as she looked down at her watch, “Shoot, I gotta get. Cassie will be in the office any moment. Nice meeting you (Y/N), stop by anytime to chat about Sheriff Arlen.”

She rushed out the front door as (Y/N) took in a couple of shaky breaths. A chorus of ‘It’s A Small World” began playing in her head. Beau Arlen. One person she never thought she would see again, let alone thousands of miles away from their hometown.

“Okay spill… how do you know our new Sheriff?” Loryn asked, tapping the counter to get her attention.

“It is a long, very long, complicated story. I’m going to get started on restocking the Young Adult section.” (Y/N) walked off towards the opposite side of the small shop trying to control the memories flooding her mind.

August 1998

“This is dumb.”

Beau’s laughter filled the clearing as he stripped off his t-shirt, “Come on (Y/N/N), cut loose and have a little fun.”

She watched as he pushed his jeans down to his ankles then kicked them off along with his boots and socks. They were at Lake Conroe in a remote part off the main path. Beau had thrown a rock up at her window two hours earlier and they drove out to this spot. Their spot. Her eyes snapped up hearing a splash and Beau’s head emerging from the water.

“Get your beautiful ass in here.”

She watched as he dove under the water revealing his bare butt. Her cheeks burned as she turned away from him. They had been friends since grade school and flirted with one another over the last year. They acted like a couple, but Beau never asked her out… officially. (Y/N) let her shorts drop to the ground and pulled her tank top over her head. When she looked over her shoulder, she noticed Beau was facing away from her.

“You know it’s killing me not to look right now but my momma raised a gentleman.” He called out with a chuckle.

(Y/N) kept her eyes locked on him as she pulled her bra over her head tossing it with the rest of her clothes along with her panties. The water was still warm from the hot summer day and the tension she unknowingly was seizing her muscles began to relax as she emerged herself fully.

“O-Okay, you can turn around.”

Beau slowly turned to face her, his dark eyes shining in the moonlight. He held his hand out to her and pulled her to him. Their bodies met and heat rushed over her cheeks.

“You’re beautiful when you blush.” His fingers brushed against the side of her face then back behind her head, “May I kiss you?”

She nodded as he leaned forward, capturing her lips with his. The kiss was gentle, sweet and not what she had been expecting for their first kiss. She had read about passionate first kisses in books and seen them in movies. When he pulled away, she found herself chasing him for more.

“(Y/N)...”

A shiver ran down her spine seeing the doubt in his eyes. Dread pooled in her stomach as every insecurity ran in her mind.

“Beau, you don’t have to say anything. I get it. Can… Can you take me home now?” (Y/N) tried to push away from him but he held onto her tighter.

“Stop (Y/N), stop trying to push me away.”

Tears were running down her face, “Beau let me go. You clearly don’t want me after that kiss so let’s forget it ever happened.” She pushed harder against him only to get nowhere.

His hands slipped beneath her thighs wrapping her legs around his waist. Gasping, right before his lips crashed against hers. His hard length pressed firmly against her.

“I want you…” He let out a harsh breath, “I want you so much that I can’t think straight. The moment I kissed you, I wanted more. I wanted all of you.”

His forehead leaned against hers. She could see his eyes were close and his jaw clenched as she moved against him.

“I’m yours Beau. I always have been.” She whispered.

A low growl rumbled from his chest, “You’re making it nearly impossible for me to be a gentleman.”

“I already know you’re a gentleman. I already know you’re a good man.” She lifted his chin so his eyes met hers, “I want to know that this sickening sweet desire filling my veins is real or just fleeting teenage hormones for the only man to ever show me any kind of attention.”

His hands went up into her hair, pulling her lips to his, “Are you sure (Y/N)?”

She nodded, “Without a doubt, yes.”

Present Day

(Y/N) leaned against the bookcase trying to think of anything but that night on the lake. It was the first of many midnight rendezvouses of love making. That summer was the best of her life. Beau made her feel alive. Wild and free. Random road trips of getting lost and having to explain to their parents why they hadn’t come home until the next day. Making out in the back of movie theaters or going to house parties with Beau’s football team.

Eventually, her dream summer had to end and reality hit them full force. (Y/N) was headed off to UT-Austin and he was staying in Houston to join the police force. She believed there was no way for them to keep their relationship going long distance.

“(Y/N)?”

Loryn’s voice cleared the Beau fog clouding her mind, “Yeah?” she forced a smile on her face.

Her doe-like eyes seem to be able to pierce the wall (Y/N) was quickly trying to build around her. She patted her shoulder giving her one last knowing look.

“If you ever want to talk I’m here for you.”

Her shoulders relaxed beneath her friend’s touch, “Thank you. I truly appreciate that.”

The rest of (Y/N)’s day was seemingly uneventful. She went about her tasks around the bookshop and Loryn treated her to lunch. The small diner was across the street from Dewell and Hoyt and (Y/N) couldn’t help but keep looking over to see if she could catch a glimpse of Beau. It had been nearly two decades since she last saw him, but something told her that she would recognize him instantly. Not that she would know what to say to him. The last time they had seen each other was the night of her bachelorette party.

November 2011

The bar was wall to wall people, the whiskey was flowing and music was drowning out everything around her. (Y/N) was dancing with her best friends and they were the center of attention of everyone around them. The six of them had been through college, heartache and successes together. (Y/N) was the last of them to get married and they were going all out for her last days as a single woman.  

“(Y/N), there’s a hottie eying you from the bar.” Her maid of honor yelled in her ear.

She rolled her eyes as she turned towards where she was pointing. Time suddenly stood still as her eyes landed on the Houston Sheriff. His eyes unmoving as she stared at him.

“I love a man in uniform.” Her friend giggled.

The tethered between them pulled her feet forward towards him as her friends cat called her over the band playing.

“W-What are you doing here?” She yelled, keeping some distance away from the man she dreamed about every night.

He leaned in towards her ear and (Y/N) was hit with an intoxicating wave Beau naturally musk mixing with his cologne. Her knees wobbled and her head began to spin as his husky voice filled her ears.

“Let’s go somewhere more private and quieter.”

Her mind screamed for her to walk away, but her body instantly followed his command following him towards the main door. When the cool night air hit her it cleared the fog that he had surrounded her in.

“Beau, what are you doing here?”

He led her around the corner to an alleyway where she saw his cruiser. The noise of the bar muffled and no one in sight as (Y/N) leaned against the front of her car. That was when she made the mistake of looking up into his eyes. They were dark and intense as he walked towards her. He was intimidating in his uniform that fit perfectly in all the right places.

“I heard you were back and I…” His fingers grazed the side of her face, “I had to see you.”

She swallowed hard, “I-I’m getting married…”

His large hand cupped her cheek and she immediately leaned into his touch, “I know. I’ve run into your parents from time to time. Is he-”

She looked up to see his eyes closed and his jaw clenched, “good to you?”

“Yes.” Her answer was immediate, but what came next from her lips was from deep within her soul, “But he’s not you.”

His eyes snapped open and time stood still before his lips crashed to hers. Her body ignited into hot flames as he set her up on the hood and wrapped her legs around him. She felt the same wild freedom she had that summer when they crossed the line from friends to lovers. His hands cupped her face and a cold, harsh reality pressed against her cheek.

(Y/N) pushed him back releasing her legs from around him and slid off the hood, “We can’t. Shit, we can’t do this.”

“(Y/N)...”

“Don’t. You’re married and you have a daughter.”

She looked up seeing his surprised look as she chuckled, “You’re not the only one getting updates from my parents. I know all about Carla and Emily.”

He looked down to the ground, “Oh. Carla and I… we’re going through-”

“I don’t care. This,” She motioned between them, “can-not happen. You have a family and that should be your only concern. I’m getting married to the first man who finally made me feel even a fraction of what you made me feel.”

Her chest tightened suddenly making it hard for her to breathe, “I-I have to go.”

(Y/N) turned around to walk away when Beau’s hand grasped her elbow turning her into his embrace. She tried to push out of his grasp but his hold was tight around her. Her body betrayed her as she relaxed against him, unable to fight the feeling of being safe and at home within his arms.

“You’re right. We shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have come to find you.” He lifted her chin for her eyes to meet his, “But I had to see you. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you because I’m still in love with you.”

She let out a shaky breath, “Beau, please…”

He kissed her forehead, “I love you, (Y/N). I hope whoever he is treats you well and loves you the way you deserve to be loved.”

With that (Y/N) watched him get into his car and drive out of her life one final time.

Present Day

When (Y/N) arrived home, she noticed a letter taped to her front door. The envelope was blank and her heart began to race as she looked around expecting to see Beau appearing from the shadows. Snatching the envelope, she walked inside and headed towards the kitchen. Pouring herself a glass of whiskey, she opened the letter only to drop her glass to the floor upon seeing the handwriting.

“No. No, no, no.” She muttered reading the short letter, “Shit. Shit!”

(Y/N) quickly went to the main hall closet and grabbed her dad’s old Winchester rifle. Making her way through the house making sure no one else was inside of it. She locked all the windows, drawing the curtains close then double and triple checked the locks on her front and back doors. Panic fueled her adrenaline making one more pass around the house.

Setting the rifle beside the couch, (Y/N) cleaned up the broken glass and took the bottle into the living room. Her mind was racing of how he could have found out where she was and which ranch was hers. She stared at the front door, rifle right next to her ready to take down anyone who entered. By the time she watched the sun peek out over the horizon, (Y/N) knew she needed to get help.

Still in the same clothes as yesterday, she stared up at the Dewell and Hoyt sign before finally walking inside. Laughter was ringing throughout the office as three women came into view. Denise immediately recognized her and rushed over to her.

“(Y/N), right? What’s wrong dear?” She guided her over to the other two women who were leaning against Denise’s desk.

One was a gorgeous blonde whose hair was pulled into a side braid over her shoulder. She wore a classic band shirt beneath a leather jacket tucked into her tight jeans. The other was an equally gorgeous black woman with long, curly hair and dark eyes. She was dressed more like the other people in the town with boots, jeans and plaid shirt.

“Cassie, Jenny this is (Y/N). She works with Loryn at the bookshop.”

Cassie held out her hand, “You’re from Houston, right?”

She nodded, shaking each of their hands, “That’s right. My dad bought the ranch up on Old Mill Road for me right before he died a year ago. I needed a new start and this seemed like a good place for that.”

Jenny chucked, “We get that a lot around here.”

“Is everything okay, (Y/N)?” Denise asked as the bell from the door rang.

“Oh look, the gangs all here…”

(Y/N)’s body stiffened from the familiar voice behind her. Her eyes snapped up to Cassie’s who gave her a curious look as Jenny walked towards the man behind her.

“This isn’t a good time, Beau. I’ll meet you back at the station.”

(Y/N) turned around to see Beau come to halt as his wide olive eyes stared at her, “(Y/N)?”

“Hey Beau.”

She swallowed the large lump in her throat and tightened the leash on her body. She wanted to jump into his arms and feel the safety he always brought to her. Keeping herself from doing that was taking every fiber of her willpower to do.

“Holy cr… what are you doing here? Are you alright?” He immediately came over to her and the moment his hands touched her shoulders (Y/N)’s willpower vanished.

Launching her body against his tears flowed freely down her face, “I-I’m scared… I’m scared my ex is here and he’s going to do something bad. I need… I need help.”

His arms tightened around her and (Y/N) could feel his chin resting on her head. An agonizing sob escaped her lips and she buried her face into his chest.

“Shhh, I won’t let anything happen to you.” He pulled back enough to look down at her when someone clearing their throat caught their attention.

“Obviously, you two know each other.” Jenny said, staring right at Beau.

(Y/N) stepped out of his arms, but when she tried to take a few steps away he reached out grabbing her hand.

“(Y/N) and I were childhood friends in Houston. We kind of lost track of one another as adults.”

(Y/N) looked from him to Jenny as they had a silent conversation. She recognized the familiar longing in her eyes and immediately withdrew her hand from Beau’s. She wrapped her arms around her waist not daring to look up at the man beside her.

“Why don’t you tell us why you need help with your ex.”

It was over an hour later that Beau was driving (Y/N) back to her house. They had not said a word to one another since she explained everything that had happened in her divorce and the police’s suspicion that her ex had something to do with her father’s death. He parked his old truck in her normal spot and followed her up to the front door.

“Thank you for the ride home.”

She unlocked the door, surprised that Beau walked inside before her, “If you think I’m letting you out of my sight then you’re sadly mistaken.”

She sighed, “Beau, I’ll be fine. I have Jack and Winchester here with me.” (Y/N) pointed to the bottle and rifle next to the couch.

He chuckled, “Those will definitely help while I keep watch and you get some much needed rest.”

“Still as stubborn as ever. Are you hungry? I can whip up some grub for us.”

For the first time since seeing him a genuine, handsome smile spread across his face. It was the same smile she fell in love with as a teenager and still made her heart skip.

“I am always hungry for your cooking. You don’t happen to have the fixin’s for your famous chili and grilled cheese?”

“I do, but that will take a few hours.” She chuckled.

“It’s worth the wait. I haven’t had a decent chili since leaving Texas six months ago and don’t get me started on the barbeque situation up here or breakfast tacos. God I miss breakfast tacos.”

She started laughing, “Maybe I can start my own diner with breakfast tacos and chili. I could call it Chicks and Beans.”

His bellowing laughter joined hers, “That’s a great idea! I will be your number one customer.”

“For now, I’ll start on the chili and see what I can make in the meantime for some lunch.”

(Y/N) kept herself busy in the kitchen getting the chili started and making her version of breakfast tacos for them. She was walking back to the living room when she heard someone knock on the door.

“It’s alright, it’s only Jenny Hoyt.” He answered the door letting her inside, “What you got Hoyt?”

Jenny’s piercing blue eyes went from her holding a tray of freshly made breakfast tacos to Beau and back. A small smirk curled on her lips as Beau rolled his eyes.

“Hoyt! What. Do. You. Have.”

“Seems like I’m in time for some brunch. May I?” She pointed to the tray.

(Y/N) nodded, “Help yourself but Beau may fight you for them.”

“I can take him.” She took a bite, “These are amazing… w-what are they?”

“A Texas delicacy known as the breakfast taco.” She looked up to see Beau shaking his head before sitting down next to her.

“Any time before I die of old age.” He grumbled before taking his own bite, “Oh god, I’ve missed these so much.”

(Y/N) felt her cheeks burning hearing Beau moan his enjoyment and Jenny staring at her. Quickly, she averted her eyes to the ground, no longer hungry for food, but for something else.

“We think we might have a lead on your ex. Denise called around to some local motels that she has an in with and we think he might be staying at the Blackbird Inn. Cassie and I are going to check it out.”

“I’m coming with you.” Beau stood, grabbing another taco.

Jenny stood as well, “No. We got this. You should stay here in case he comes here. Cassie and I can handle ourselves.”

(Y/N) reached up grabbing his hand. Looking up, she knew she didn’t need to say what she was thinking. Beau simply nodded at her then looked back to Jenny.

“I need a moment before you head out.”

(Y/N) watched them step outside on the porch before she moved closer to hear what they were talking about.

“Take Poppernak with you. You don’t know what you’ll be walking into. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if anything…”

Jenny cut him off, “We’ve been in worse situations, but I’ll take Pop just in case.”

Beau sighed, “Thank you. The moment you have this guy in custody, call me.”

(Y/N) heard Jenny’s boots stepping down the stairs before she spoke again.

“You know this whole time I thought it was Carla that you were still in love with.”

Beau scoffed, “I told you I’m not.”

A small chuckle came from Jenny, “I can see that now. You’re still in love with the woman inside. You should tell her. Trust me, you don’t want to miss out on that chance.”

There was a long moment of silence before Beau cleared his throat, “Duly noted. Hoyt, thank you.”

(Y/N) took a few steps back as Beau opened the door. His olive eyes meeting hers knowing she had heard everything. He walked past her and into the living taking his spot on the couch again. She sat on the opposite end, the silence between them growing more uncomfortable by the second.

“What do-”

“Are you-”

They both spoke at once before (Y/N) motioned with her hand for him to go first. His leg bounced nervously and he was fidgeting with his jacket.

“What do you want to know? I know you have to have questions and I’ve never been able to keep anything from you. So shoot.”

He was right. She had a million questions about Carla and Emily, what happened to their marriage and what brought him up to Montana. However, the only question burning at the end of her tongue came tumbling out.

“Are you and Jenny a thing?”

He slowly turned his head towards her, raising an eyebrow, “Really? That’s what you want to know about?”

“No. I want to know everything that has happened to you since that night of my bachelorette party. But, I need to know that… I mean… I don’t want to…”

“Spit it out, darlin’”

Her eyes narrowed on him, “I want to make sure I’m not infringing on anything between you and her. I don’t want to get in the middle of that.”

Mischief was shining in his darkening eyes, “Why is that? Do you think something is going to happen between us?”

“History has proven that it will. After Josh, I vowed I wouldn’t make any stupid, impulsive decisions when it comes to matters of the heart.”

(Y/N) took in a deep breath as Beau’s tongue darted out over his bottom lip dragging it beneath his perfect teeth.

“Do you feel like that a lot around men?”

She shook her head, “Only you. So, I want to know if anything does happen that I’m not going to have to face the gorgeous sheriff who is obviously attracted to you.”

Beau stood up walking over to the window. He peeked out the blinds and she watched his shoulders sag for a moment.

“There’s nothing official between Hoyt and I. We flirt. We have each other’s backs. We’ve both had broken hearts.”

He turned towards her as she nodded, “So, you like her as well. I can see why. She’s gorgeous and I’ve heard the stories of her being a badass. I’m happy you found someone.”

His intense eyes were locked on hers as he walked towards her. (Y/N) started to squirm in her seat as Beau leaned in towards her.

“I found someone a long time ago. Everyone else since then has only been fleeting which is why I’ve put up walls concerning Jenny. There’s only ever been one woman who could smash through those walls in an instant.”

(Y/N) bit her lip, “Beau…”

His lips were on hers before she could say anything else. Her hands immediately went over his shoulders pushing his jacket down his arms. He tossed it to the side, breaking their kiss long enough to snatch her up over his shoulder.

“Beau!” She giggled.

“I’m not losing you again. I’m not backing down from this second or third chance. Bedroom?”

He brought her legs around his waist holding her firmly against him. His lips leaving a hot trail of kisses down the side of her neck.

“Down the hall… to the left…” She breathlessly murmured as his lips met hers once more.

She heard him kick the door shut behind them before turning and pressing her back against it. Her feet touched the ground as his hands pushed her shirt over her head. Another passionate kiss was shared as she worked on undoing his belt and jeans while Beau quickly worked on getting his button down undone. He pulled the white tank over his head as she began to push his pants down towards the floor.

Suddenly he scooped her up and tossed her onto the bed behind them. She landed in a fit of giggles that faded as soon as she saw the glorious naked man in front of her. Her eyes traveling down his well toned body and noticing new scars that decorated his skin. One particular scar on his shoulder looked newer than the others.

His eyes followed hers to the scar and there was a longing in them from the memory she could see running in his head.

“Want to talk about it?” She asked, propping herself up on her elbows.

“No. I want you to take off the rest of your clothes,” He shook his head climbing over her, “so I can make love to you.”

In a few swift movements Beau had her bare and she was reminded of the scars she bore. Immediately she wrapped her arms around herself and tried to move away from him.

“Are these… are these from your ex?” Beau gently took her hands in his and moved them from around her, “He hurt you.”

The pain in his voice made her eyes well up, “The physical scars are nothing compared to the mental ones. He… broke me, Beau. I’m damaged. Now’s your chance to run if you want and I don’t blame you.”

(Y/N) watched his trembling hands brush against the longest of scars on her side. He leaned down pressing his lips to it, taking her by surprise. With each kiss he placed on her scars more tears fell down her cheeks.

“I’m not going anywhere except to kick that guy’s ass when I get the first chance.” He wiped the tears from her face.

“Reminded of the woman I used to be. The carefree and happy woman. The one that always felt wild and free. The one who loved without hesitation.”

Beau settled himself between her legs and the weight of him was comforting to (Y/N). She ran her fingers over the scar on his shoulder.

“Are you sure?” She asked.

He chuckled, “I’m supposed to be asking you that.”

She nodded as he slowly pushed himself inside of her. The world stopped for a moment as everything aligned into perfection. Beau and her. Together as it was always meant to be. Desperately, (Y/N) tried to commit every feeling and sound to memory. However, it was his right olive eyes lovingly looking down at her that would be the last she remembered.

A dark figure from above them stood pointing her dad’s Winchester at them.

“I told you if I couldn’t have then no one could.”

“BEAU!” She screamed.

A single shot rang throughout the room and everything went black.

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[yourlocalmerchgirl]

Texas Transplant pt. 3

Paring: Tommy Miller x Reader

Word count: 6k

Part 1 Part 2

Summary: Tommy is tired of living in Joel's shadow. He feels broken and unloveable, just going threw the motions of life. Then you walked into his life making him realize it is possible for him to be loved and cared for.

Tommy Miller x reader AU (the out break doesn't happen

Warnings: 18+ MDNI First date heavy making out light mention of body issues Slow Burn Slow Build Pining Mutual Pining Smut Fluff Tooth-Rotting Fluff Falling In Love I think that’s about it for this part let me know if I missed anything

A/N: Hi friends! Sorry it’s taken me a longer than normal to get part 3 up, life’s been crazy but it’s finally here! We finally get to see these two love birds have there actual first date! I’m so so proud of this part and really hope you all love it as much as I do! Thank you @svittok2 for being my editor, bouncing ideas back and forth with me and loving this story as much as me!

Tommy’s pov

Tommy’s eyes flutter open, taking a moment to adjust to his surroundings. As he opens his them all the way he realizes hes curled right up to you, head nestled on your chest, arms wrapped tightly around you as if his life depended on it. You had your arm wrapped around him just as tightly and all he could think of was how perfect this moment was. The way you both clutched on to one another like the world was ending, the way the warmth from your body seeped into his like the sun. The sound of your heart beating washes this sense of calm over him that he’s never felt before.

Tommy pulls back ever so slightly to look at you, making sure not to wake you.

He admires the way the early morning light illuminates your peaceful form, thinking how beautifully precious you look. He brings his hand up to softly caress the side of your face with the back of his fingers, tracing along your cheek bone with the pad of his thumb. Your lips curl into the cutest sleepy smile at the sensation of his touch, letting out the softest sigh, causing his smile to reach his eyes. But then the guilt and dread set in, like his mind isn’t capable of enjoying true happiness for long. His mind races with thoughts about last night, about how you were already having a rough night, how you completely opened up to him even though you were terrified it would change things and how does he repay you? By throwing you in the middle of the worst panic attack/ flash back episode he’s had in a while. He was supposed to be taking care of you, making you feel loved and relaxed. But instead you’re thrust into taking care of him like your problems didn’t matter, like you hadn’t already been through enough yesterday.

This is the type of guilt that always ate at Tommy. Party due to him being abandoned by most everyone he tried to get close too but also due to the fact that Tommy has always been incredibly hard and unforgiving on himself.

He gets up slowly from the bed as to not jostle you and makes his way to the bathroom. As he’s settling back into the bed he’s surprised that you curl right up to him when you feel the bed dip down. As you Snuggle closer and closer to him he opens his arms, not expecting what happens next. Almost instinctively as if you weren’t asleep you move right into his embrace, draping you’re arm around him tightly and nuzzling youre face in the spot where his neck meets his chest, letting out the cutest most content hum.

Tommy feels so much happiness flooding his entire body he thinks his heart might explode. It’s in this moment he realized all hope might not be lost, he might not of scared you away with his incident. He needs to figure it out, because if that’s the case he needs to finally grow a pair and ask you out. Tommy can’t even begin to express how special you are to him, how much he cares about you. Hell if he’s being honest, he’s in love with you. He’s been in love with you since he spent the entire day with you, taking you around to get things for the house to then be invited to share dinner and a movie where you fell asleep on the couch. He thought he was in love before but realizes the only other time he’s felt this amount of love, true love was the day Sarah was born, the day he became an uncle.

You starting to stir in your sleep pulls Tommy from his thoughts. You stretch and adjust a little, bring your leg up over his to rest in between his legs. Pulling yourself closer into him and nesting your face in the crook of his neck, your forehead resting on his cheek. And then it hits him, he wants you to be the first thing he sees every morning and the last thing he sees every night. He wants a life making memories with you. He wants to make you laugh on good days and help you pick up the pieces on bad days. He wants to learn how to cook your favorite meal and shower you with the love and support you deserve. Just as he pulls back a little and leans forward planting the softest kiss on your forehead your eyes flutter open.

When he pulls back he’s surprised to see you with the cutest smile, your beautiful hazel eyes already looking at him.

“Morning sweetheart” she say with a beautifully sleepy smile

She….she called me sweetheart

“Mornin’ sweet girl” Tommy reply’s lightly caressing the side of your face before resting his hand to cup your face, holding your soft hazel eyes in a gaze. He watches as your eyes flit from his eyes to his lips and back a couple of times, almost as if your trying to tell him something.

Before Tommy knows it or can stop himself he’s moving forward and crashing his lips into yours in the softest most tender kiss of his life. You don’t hesitate reciprocating the kiss, bringing your hand up to cup his face as you kiss him back with the same soft tenderness. When you break the kiss for air you can’t help but to instantly blush causing you both to giggle.

Tommy searches your eyes for anything to reassure him he didn’t cross a line. He cares to deeply about you to have you being in his life slip through his fingers.

You reach up softly, rubbing the side of his face with the back of your finger before tracing along all his freckles with the pad of you’re finger. Tommy’s eyes flutter closed as he just takes in this beautifully calming moment. Your touch alone is enough to sooth him, to melt away any trouble he could be having and ground him in away he never knew possible.

“How did you sleep? I hope you were comfortable here”

“Quiet honestly sweetheart, I don’t think I’ve slept this well in a very long time”

A few beats of silence wash over the two of you.

“Look sweet girl…. I-I ah I feel terrible about last night. It wasn’t fair for you to have to deal with that after you were already having a rough night.”

“Tommy….”

“I didn’t want you to ever have to see that side of me but it’s a part of me, I can’t help it and I’m so sorry i freaked out.”

“Tommy Please! Can I say my piece?” She says more sternly.

“Of course sweetheart” Tommy says meekly, a little scared about what might happen next.

“Nothing about what happened last night makes me think or feel any differently about you.” She says softly, cupping her hand over mine.

“You want to know what was going through my head when I heard that glass break? What was going through my head head when I ran inside?”

“Yes….” Tommy reply’s his voice barely above a whisper. His eyes focused on your hand holding his.

“The only thing i could think was making sure you were ok, making sure you knew you were safe and felt safe. That you knew you were surrounded by love and support. And when you fell forward into my arms the only thing I thought was thankfulness. Thankful that in that moment that trust was there.”

As you’re saying all this Tommy laces his fingers in yours and squeezes you hand tightly.

“Because you know why?” Her voice began to crack.

“Because…because that’s what you do when you care about someone….an-and I-I care about you a lot Tommy”

“It’s not about there only being space for one person to have a bad day, it’s about us being there for each other no matter what, it’s about the fact that we clearly bring a lot of comfort to each other.”

Tommy pulls you into his arms as you both have tears, albeit tears of relief streaming down your faces.

“Fuck sweet girl…i don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m thankin’ my lucky stars ‘cause I can’t imagine my life without you.”

You squeeze him tighter at his worlds thinking about the beautiful situation in which you both are in. Where you both were so terrified that something about the other would drive each other way but in fact made your relationship stronger. It’s made all this love bubble up to the surface, little did Tommy know you were starting to realize that you were in love with him too.

“You’re stuck with me now Miller” you tease

“Yea I ain’t ever lettin’ you go sweetheart, so your stuck with me too” Tommy jokes back. But you know there’s seriousness behind his words, and he knows there is behind your words too.

You reach up tucking some of Tommy’s unruly black curls behind his ear before you start tracing his face and connecting all his freckles again with the pad of your finger. Tommy’s never seen someone look at him as intently as you do in this moment, like your trying to commit every part of him to memory. The love and adoration Tommy sees in your eyes makes his heart beat faster. He only hopes that he makes you feel the same way you make him feel. As you run your hand gently down the side of his face he leans into your touch, wanting more, needing more.

Tommy reaches out running the pad of his fingers down your temple and along your jaw. His deep brown eyes, pools that you could get lost in. You’ve never seen someone look at you the way Tommy does, with all the love and compassion in the world. It’s in the very moment that you realize your in love with Tommy, you’ve been in love with him since the day the two of you spent the together gathering things for the house. You’ve just been to scared to admit it out loud, thinking for sure your past would drive him away but it didn’t, and now he looks at you with the same kind of love in his eyes that you have in yours. Could he possibly love me too?

Your eyes flutter closed as Tommy starts tracing over your bottom lip with the smooth pad of his finger. He loves seeing how you blush and giggle a little when touches you. She couldn’t get more beautiful if she tried.

“Sweet girl” Tommy whispers

Your eyes flutter back open, locking with his beautiful brown eyes already on you.

“You alright? Is this alright?”

“Yea…I’m ok, just getting lost in the moment” you whisper back, bringing you thumb to trace along his bottom lip. He gently places a kiss to your thumb as you smooth it over his lips causing you both to smile shyly.

Before either of you know it your lips are crashing back together, igniting your entire body in flames like some kind of super hero. My god I hope he’s feeling this way too.

The kiss is both slow and beautiful, sensual and tender, the both of you relishing in the moment trying to commit it all to memory.

Tommy pulls away from the kiss and leans his forehead against yours. The happiness in the room is palpable, you swear the whole neighborhood must be able to feel it too.

“Do…do you feel it too” Tommy whispers.

“Y-yes, I feel it too”

The sun was beating down already, which could only mean one thing, it was going to be a hot one. July in Texas could be brutal and unforgiving. Tommy pulls up to Joel’s house and puts it into park. But his mind isn’t there, it’s with you. A smile tugs at his lips as his mind flashed back to waking up in your arms and the kiss…THE KISS. It had only been a day, but god did he miss everything about you.

“Hey dipshit, breakfast is getting cold. You gonna come eat or just sit there” Joel shouted pulling him from his thoughts.

“Jesus man, don’t need to shout. Gonna wake the whole damn neighborhood”

“Well Christ Tommy, you’ve been sittin’ there for like 10 mins.”

“Your plates in the microwave Uncle Tommy I made eggs, bacon and toast” Sarah called out from upstairs

“You didn’t have to do that sweetheart”

“I know but I’ve gotta work early this morning so I figured I’d make us all breakfast” Sarah says coming down the stairs.

“Hey…can I talk to you real quick before you head out Sarah? Won’t take long”

Joel stops dead in his tracks and whips around, so curious about what his brother could possibly have to say.

“Of course, let’s go out onto the porch so dad minds his business.” Her uncles not one to do this so she’s knows it must be important.

“What’s up Uncle Tommy, everything alright?”

“Yea everything’s alright, I just uh…god this is embarrassing. I-I I was wondering if you could teach me how to cook? Like give me some lessons before you leave for school?”

Sarah’s eyes light up. “Of course uncle Tommy, I’d love too! Anything specific?”

“I was thinking a couple breakfast things and some dinner things, nice meals”

“Look I dont wanna keep you, I know you gotta go to work but maybe we could brainstorm tomorrow after your dad and I are done for the day?”

“Sure sounds good”

Tommy turns to head back inside.

“Wait, what’s this for? Ooo is this for

(y/n)?”

“Am I that obvious?” Tommy says chuckling, smile wide across his face.

“She’s always cooking for everyone else, I want to be able to spoiler her, do nice things for her. She’s like you, she gets so excited about food, I want to be able give her some of that excitement but I can’t cook anything fancy. Plus I ah… I’m planing to ask her out soon…”

“Jesus about time! You guys are perfect for each other, I’m pretty sure the whole world can see it.”

Tommy can’t help but blush and laugh at her response.

“Ok well we will talk about it tomorrow, I’ve got some idea because I want to know how to make some of her favorite things”

Tommy heads back inside as Sarah heads out for the day for work.

“Hey sorry I can eat on the way I’m sure we gotta head out.”

“Well actually the Smiths called when you were having your mystery chat and their kid is sick so they asked us not to come by until tomorrow to finish the work. And I called Marks crew and they’re ahead of schedule and Jensen doesn’t need any help so looks like we have an unexpected day off. I’ll still pay ya for today because I was thinking we could go get some supplies for upcoming jobs first.”

“Sounds good to me, I’m happy to do whatever we need. Hopefully their kid feels better soon.” Tommy says sitting down with his coffee and breakfast.

They allow a comfortable silence to take over as they’re finishing their morning coffee. Tommy decides to break the silence.

“I had an attack the other day”

“Shit, Tommy it’s been a little while hasn’t it? Was it bad?”

“It’s was one of the worst ones I’ve had in a while, damn near crippling.”

“You alright? When was this? you should of called me for help”

“It was at (y/n)’s the other night when you left and Stacey went upstairs”

Joel freezes, scared what Tommy might say next. Knowing how scared he was for you to see that part of him.

“Shit…it was the fire crackers wasn’t it? Damn I was hoping you had left or that you guys were doing other stuff at that point when they started going off.”

Tommy stays silent for a few beats only adding up Joel’s worry.

Tommy drops his head as the tears start to well in his eyes. Joel’s frozen, he doesn’t know what to do he’s only ever seen Tommy like this a handful of times.

“I-I though it would of scared her or pushed her away. Thought for sure she’d think I was a burden, that I was too much.”

“But-but sh-she was by my side the whole time…she ran inside when she head the glasses I had smash. Without hesitation or question she dropped to her knees surrounded by glass to talk me through everything. To let me know I was safe and ok. When I let out a guttural noise and fell into her arms crying she met me with the tightest embrace that I’ve only ever felt from you. It was her voice Joel… her fuckin’ voice that brought me back.”

“Jesus Christ Tommy…I’m so glad your ok, that she’s ok. It’s a miracle neither of you cut yourselves. You didn’t drive like that did you?”

“I stayed there….her and Stacey got me up and into her room. She put light music on and stayed with me….I woke up in her arms Joel, we were holdin’ on to each other like all we needed was each other.”

“Tommy…you gotta tell her how you feel. It’s so obvious that you guys have feelings for each other. You both faced some traumatic shit together in the same night and the only place the two of you ran was into each others arms. You guys deserve each other.”

“I-l know brother I know, I’m planning on it. I don’t want her to slip through my fingers. She makes me happier than I’ve ever been, I don’t want to be without her. Hell if I’m being honest Joel, I love her, I’m in love with her. Heck if she’d take my hand I’d marry her tomorrow.”

“I love seeing you like this Tommy, that you’ve found someone that cares about you the way you care about them. I love that girl, both of them really. I’ve loved having her be apart of this family and our lives, It would make my heart swell to see you two together.”

Tommy’s phones buzzes

Y/n: when you unexpectedly have the day off because of tech problems you stay snuggled up in a mountain of blankets and have a geeky movie marathon

(Insert a cute selfie of you snuggled up in a mountain of blankets)

Y/n: ps hope you’re having a good day!

Tommy looks down at his phone and his face lights up just seeing the messages from you and then even more so when he opens them.

Tommy: well don’t you look cute and cozy…great way to spend your day off!

Tommy: we have a unexpected day off too, our clients kid is sick so they asked us not to come and the other crews are ahead.

Y/n: well I could think of one way it could be better. 🙂

Tommy: oh yea what’s that? You need somethin’ sweetheart? I can go to the store if you need.

Y/n: I do need something…

Tommy: anything sweetheart just let me know.

Y/n: I uh… I need you Tommy…

Tommy’s eyes go wide when he sees the message, thinking he can’t be reading that right. You take his silence for fear.

Y/n: shit…I’m sorry I shouldn’t of said that…I’m gonna go die now 🫣

Tommy: no no no sweet girl it’s not like that, Im just surprised by your message. I’ll be right there 🙂

“Hey uh any chance you could just go on that supply run on your own? I gotta go win my girls heart”

“Jesus Tommy get outta here and go get that girl!”

As Tommy closes the door Joel realizes that if he doesn’t do something, the girl of his dreams is going to slip threw his fingers too. Except he has no idea if she’s even interested in him, but talking to

Tommy has inspired him that he needs to atleast try.

Joel: Hey… would want to get a drink sometime?

——————————————————————

Stacey hears a knock at the door as she’s heading back upstairs.

“I’ll get it” she shouts over her shoulder into the house.

“Hey Tommy! Come on in” she happily greets Tommy

“Nice to see you sweetheart” Tommy chimes in as he’s toeing off his boots.

“Look ah about the other night..”

“I’m gonna stop you right there Tommy. There’s nothing to worry about. I don’t think any differently of you and there’s nothing you need to apologize for. We’re all family and I would do anything to help family.” She says placing her hand on his arm

“Get over here sweetheart!” Tommy says pulling her into a big bear hug.

“I’m so happy (y/n) and Sarah have you in their lives, hell I’m happy Joel and I have you too”

“Yea I know, I am pretty great aren’t I?!” Stacey teases, them both laughing grinning ear to ear.

——————————————————————

Tommy knocks on your door

“Come in” you say pausing the movie.

“It ok to come in sweet girl?”

“Tommy!” You excitedly exclaim sitting up in bed. Smile so wide it’s reaching your eyes.

He quickly flops onto the bed, wrapping his arms around you before you lay back and he settles his head on your chest.

“It’s so good to see you sweet girl”

Bringing your hand up to run through his thick black curls, stopping to message his scalp every so often.

“It’s good to see you too Tommy, honestly all I can think about is spending time with you.” And you instantly think shit should I of said that?

“Can I talk yo you about something sweetheart?” Tommy says as he’s sitting up

“Of course” you say sitting up

“I really like you a lot, as more than just friends, and i was wondering if you’d go out with me, if I could take you out on a proper date?”

“Jesus I’m sorry I’m so bad at this” he says rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yes, I’d be love too Tommy”

“Wait say that again”

“Id love too Tommy, I’d love to go on a date with you, I’d thought you’d never ask”

The week inched by as slow as molasses running up a hill. But the day was finally here, your date with Tommy. Just thinking about it made your heart skip a beat. You’d been up for hours unable to contain your excitement or your smile.

Your phone buzzing on your nightstand pulls you back to reality. You can’t stop the smile that spreads across your face when you see a text from Tommy.

Tommy: Morning sweet girl 🥰 make sure you wear comfortable clothes and shoes, doin’ lots of walking today.

Y/N: Morning sweetheart 🥰 what do you have up your sleeve Tommy Miller? 😂🧐

Tommy: You let me worry about the details sweetheart, I’m pretty confident you’re gonna love today.

Tommy: oh bring an overnight bag with you incase you fall asleep…wouldn’t want to wake your grumpy ass up 😂

Ever since Stacey told him you get grumpy when you get woken up Tommy doesn’t miss the opportunity to lovingly tease you about it.

You’re in the kitchen talking to Stacey when Tommy knocks on the door. Butterflies over take you as you excitedly make your way over, unable to contain your smile. You open the door to Tommy standing there in a white tank top undershirt with a gray button up shirt open over it, tight blue jeans and sneakers. His jet black curls glowing in the morning light, tucked behind his ears and gelled back just enough to keep them out of his face.

“Tommy!” You excitedly exclaim a little embarrassed when you hear yourself. But that all washes away in an instant when you see that classic beautiful Tommy Miller smile.

“Com’er sweet girl” Tommy says grabbing your hand and pulling you against him into a big hug.

You pull your head back slightly so your cheek is flush against his. “You look so handsome. You always look so handsome to me” you whisper in his ear. You feel a deep hum vibrate from his chest into yours as he squeezes you tighter.

Tommy pulls back dragging his lips over the shell of your ear, tickling you with his mustache. Causing that giggle that Tommy loves so much to bubble up.

“You’re the most gorgeous girl in the world” he says placing a kiss on your jaw.

“You all ready to go sweet girl?”

“Yea! I just need to grab my bag.”

Returning with your bag, Tommy takes it to carry as you guys head out to the truck. He puts your bag in the back and moves to open the door for you.

“Wait” you whisper as Tommy moves to shut the door. You swing your body around so your legs are dangling out of the truck. “I didn’t get to kiss you” you whisper as you reach out cupping his face, your thighs parting instinctually to fit him as you pull him into a soft sensual kiss. His lips are soft and tender as he wastes no time returning the kiss and licks your bottom lip for entrance. As you oblige and your tongue tangles with his you both simultaneously lets out a hum, vibrating through both of your chests and into the others.

As Tommy pulls away he feels this fire that starts in his belly and spreads through every nerve in his body when his eyes meet yours. The same expression of love and adoration grace your features that he can see on his own in the reflection of your soft hazel eyes.

“Jesus I dunno what I did to deserve you, but I ain’t never lettin’ you go” Tommy whispers as he kisses your forehead.

“I don’t want you to let me go”

Tommy leans down to kiss you when you hear “ Hey lovebirds your giving’ the whole neighborhood a show!” Frigging Joel

You both look up simultaneously giving Joel the finger.

“Love you guys too” Joel jokes causing you all to laugh.

“We gotta get goin’ anyway, can’t have us being late”

“What do you have up your sleeve you sneak?”

“You’ll see sweetheart, you’ll see” he says giving you that classic Tommy Miller smirk that you loved so much.

Tommy can’t help stealing glances of you as he’s driving. Your head leaned back, eyes lightly closed, letting the morning sun warm your face as you sing along to the music playing. That cute smile that graces your face everytime his thumb draws small circles on your thigh as his hand rests there.

“You know I didn’t ask you to stay over because I wanted to sleep with you right?”

His question catches you off guard.

“Not that that I don’t want to sleep with you, I just want you to know I’m never going to push you faster than you want to go. I know this is big for you, after everything you’ve been through and I just want you to know I’ll go at any pace. I asked you to bring a bag because I just want you to be close to, I want to wake up in your arms, I want you to be the first thing I see again.”

His words hit you like a tidal wave, you have to hold back the tears you can feel pricking at your eyes.

“I didn’t feel that way at all Tommy, honestly I’m glad you did ask me too because I haven’t stopped thinking about waking up in your arms.” Before you can catch them a few tears roll down your cheek and Tommy notices right away

“Jesus, baby I didn’t mean to make you cry” he says reaching up to catch the tears.

“You didnt, they’re happy tears, I’m just so over come with happiness being with you, it just all feels like a dream”

Your interest peaks when you notice you’re getting off the highway in San Antonio, eyes glued to the window. You perk up when the truck slows down at the entrance for the San Antonio Zoo. Tommy’s heart skips a beat at your expression when you turn to him and he falls in love with you all over again.

“We’re going to the zoo?!” You’re entire body lit up at the idea, un able to hold back your excitement.

“You love it?”

“Of course I do, this is literally the perfect date, who wouldn’t want to enjoy a day at the zoo bonding over the shared love of animals with someone your head over heels for”

Tommy’s heart swells at your comment, replaying it over and over in his head. You have no idea what his plans are but he can’t wait to give you the world today.

As you guys walk through the gates and to the ticket counter your hands find each others, fingers interlacing as if your hands were magnets. Your hands fit together like a puzzle piece and everything just feels right, like everything is meant to be.

While Tommy is paying and talking to another person at the counter you let go of his hand to look at the map of the zoo displaying the different sections you can visit and each animal there.

Your so engrossed in the map you don’t hear Tommy coming up behind you. He pauses for a second to take in the site of you being completely enamored with the map before he wraps his arms around you resting his chin on your shoulder. To his surprise you don’t jump, instead you relax into his touch, your back flush against his chest. The little content hum you let out as you tilt your head back to look at him.

“Babe! they have giraffes here!” You say eyes completely lighting up as you point to it.

Babe. It would never get old hearing you call him that.

“Shit, they’ve changed a lot since I came last!”

Little did you know, Tommy knew this. It’s part of his surprise but he can’t let you know that. Loving giraffes was something you both bonded over early.

“Let’s walk that loop first so we can get to the giraffes soon, then we can walk and do the other side”

Tommy needed to make sure to get you to the giraffes between a certain time but he needed to not raise any flags as to why.

When you get to the giraffes you realize their area is closed.

“The giraffe area is closed for a hour?” You say pouting as you read the sign, trying not to show how disappointed you are.

Tommy says nothing instead he takes out his phone and appears to be texting someone. Your trying to peek around to catch a glimpse of them when you hear a voice you don’t recognize come from the roped off area.

“Hey Tommy! It’s good to see you brother”

“Hey Johnny! Man it’s so good to see you brother, thank you for doing this.” Tommy says reaching for your hand up pull you closer to him.

“This must be the beautiful lady I’ve heard so much about.”

He’s been telling people about me?

Tommy sees you blushing out of the corner of his eye. Admittedly a little nervous Johnny told you that.

“Hi! I’m (Y/n), it’s so nice to meet you” you say reaching out your hand to shake his.

“You got yourself a incredible guy here, wouldn’t have wanted to serve along side anyone else. He’s as loyal as they come.”

You smile so wide as Johnnys talking about Tommy.

“I don’t know how I got so lucky, honestly meeting him was the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Tommy squeezes your hand and kisses you on the temple. “She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, I guess we both got lucky finding each other.”

God. You just want to shout it from the roof top how you love him.

“You guys ready? They’ll be hungry and waiting for their snack.” Johnny says as he leads you through the gate and up the stairs to the plate form.

“Who’s they?”you ask really unsure about what’s happening.

You get to the top of the platform and see buckets of lettuce.

“Ar-are we feeding the giraffes?” You ask turning to Tommy who has the biggest smile, his big brown eyes lit up brighter than you’ve ever seen.

“Surprise sweet girl”

You can’t help but look at Tommy with happy tears in your eyes, nobody has done anything this thoughtful for you.

The two of you spend the next hour feeding and enjoying the giraffes, Johnny taking pictures with your phone the whole time. You and Tommy make it back to the truck after spending the rest of the day walking around the zoo and laughing as if you were the last two people on earth.

Relaxing you lay your head on the window letting the evening sun warm your face, Tommy messaging your thigh as he drives.

A quiet comfortable silence falls over the cab, the two of you soaking up each other presence.

Stretching out and yawning as you guys pull up to his building.

“Are you sore sweetheart?” Tommy asks you as he opens the front door.

“A little bit, not just from today but from having terrible posture while I’m working at my computer.”

“Well make yourself comfortable on the couch, I’ll put your bag in my room and get us some drinks”

Laying back on the couch you let out a sigh full of contentment and happiness. Today was pulled from the pages of a fairy tale, you just wanted to live in the moment forever, you’re so lost in thought you don’t realize how long Tommy’s been gone.

“Hey, sweet girl come here a minute” Tommy says softly pulling you back from your thoughts. He’s standing there in the doorway of his room, the softest expression graces his features. It’s filled with love and admiration as he reaches his hand out to you as you approach, pulling you into him and wrapping his arms around you as son as your in arms reach.

“I have another surprise for you” he says placing a beautifully soft kiss on your lips, it’s tender and sensual, soft and loving making you melt into his arms.

“But I gotta cover your eyes”

“Ok” you giggle smiling shyly as you turn around allowing him to cover your eyes and turn you around slowly walking you into the room. The deeper you get into the room you can hear faint music coming from somewhere, the sent of mint making it’s way into your lungs. What could Tommy possibly have planned?

Tommy slowly stop the two of you, removing his hands from your eyes to rest on your waist. You slowly open your eyes to his master bathroom dimly lit, soft music playing and a bath drawn in his big tub, different bath bombs and bubble baths laid out with a few mint candles lit.

“Tommy…” you manage to squeak out, your voice cracking slightly.

“You like it babe?”

You tilt your head up to meet his gaze, eyes glossed over on the verge of tears”

“Is…is this all for me?”

“Course it is sweet girl”

“Tommy….I-I don’t know what to say, you didn’t have to go through all this trouble for me”

“I know…but I wanted too. I knew today would be alot of walking and I know you always feel beat up from sitting in that computer chair all day and your my special girl I just wanted to pamper you and make you feel good.”

“I love it Tommy, thank you”

“So pick what ever you want to put in the water and relax here and I’ll come get you when dinners done.”

Tommy kisses you before leaving you to relax.

You lay back in the tub, sinking in, closing your eyes and loosing all sense of time. Letting the warm water seep into your bones when you hear a light knock on the door.

“Come in” you say softly, folding your arms on the side of the of the tub and laying your head down as Tommy enters the room.

“Hey baby” you say smiling up at him.

Tommy kneels down next to the tub, caressing the side of your face with the backs of his fingers. Taking in your simple beauty, how your eyes are filled with so much love and trust.

“Dinners almost ready sweet girl if you want to get dried off and changed” he says kissing your forehead.

You dry off and make your way to the bedroom to change when you see a small box on the bed with a card on it.

The card reads:

“I saw these and they made me think of all the time we’ve spent looking at the stars together so i had to get them for you”

You open the box to find a tank top and shorts lounge wear set, they’re black with little consolations on them made out of the softest material you’ve ever felt.

Tommy stops settling the table when he hears the bedroom door slowly open. He looks up to see you standing in the doorway, your smile touching your eyes, glowing with happiness.

“I love it!” You say basically jumping into his arms. Tommy squeezes you tightly, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.

“Your so fucking beautiful, today and everyday I hope y’know it”

“I’ve never felt more beautiful than I do when I’m with you.”

Tommy trails wet open mouth kisses up your neck, his hands tightly gripping your hips. He pulls back “ Is this ok (y/n)?” Tommy rarely called you by your name, but he wanted you to know he was serious. He searched your face for any hesitation or discomfort. You’ve both been through hell and back and the last thing he wants to do is ruin the special thing you guys have by pushing things to move to far to fast.

“Y-yes it’s ok, I’m ok”

Tommy pulls you into a passionate kiss, licking your bottom lip for entrance which you eagerly grant him. He grips your hips tighter as your tongues tangle tangly together in a kiss that’s both tender and passionate, needy and sensual. He trails open mouth kisses along your jaw and down your neck.

You let out a low moan as you throw your head back, allowing him more access to your neck. A low growl vibrates in his chest at the sound of your moan. Tommy spins you around and slowly starts walking backwards until the back of his legs hit the couch. He breaks away from the kiss just long enough to sit down, pulling you down to straddle him. You shift a little bit, unsure about sitting on him fully, being a thick girl your worried about being to heavy on him. Tommy picks up on your nervousness. “It’s alright baby girl, we don’t have to keep going”

“No no it’s not that… I ugh”

“What is it baby you can tell me”

“I’m worried about being to heavy for you”

Your checks flush with embarrassment.

Tommy brings his hands up to cup your face. “Your the sexiest, most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. Don’t ever think your too heavy for me. I love you’re thick thighs and your soft belly. Why don’t we have dinner and we can pick this back up later?”

[ask-dave-miller-dsaf]

DR RETRO HEALS THEE

I LOVE BEING HEALED. IT'S LIKE A DREAM OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

I-

THOU BUILT LIKE A BARB FENCE WIRE.

...HENRY, I'M TIRED OF Y' BULLSHIT.

YER BUILT LIKE BUGS BUNNY'S BIG OL' FUCKIN' RABBIT TEETH.

EVERYTIME Y' WALK, THE CAPITAL A' TEXAS HUMBLES UPON THUNDERSTORM, LIGHTNIN', FLASH FLOOD N' TORNADO WARNINGS AS FALSE ACCUSATION FROM Y' BIG OL' ASS.

[pechaberriesandsoju]

HM FLASH FLOOD WARNING

THATS FUN

LOVE LIVING IN TEXAS

[nomore-roominhell]

"Nowhere Fast"

(Warnings: blood, referenced (?) animal death)

Set before the events of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

"When I'm lying in my bed, I think about life"

The night was cold, the bite of the chill as unforgiving as the scorch of the day earlier. The cold would have bothered Nubbins if he weren't so absorbed in the sky. The cloudless dark revealed a scattering of glitter, cascading constellations that twinkled like the teary eyes of someone soon to cease living.

Nubbins wasn't one for reflection, Drayton has always told him that thinking too much on things was usually for the worse. Though tonight seemed different, as he stared into the deep black of night. His thoughts seemed to linger on the day past. He'd taken more pictures than usual, printed memories scattering the floor around him.

He glanced at one, an image of the fields behind the house. Sunflowers scattered the grass, a display of life in vibrant yellow.

The next was a bird nesting in the tree in front of the house. Looking closer, nubbins could make out the shapes of three baby birds, small, fragile and featherless. Nubbins peered out of the window at the very same tree, noticing the faint outline of the nest.

He looked back at the photos littering the floor, one in particular catching his eye. A group of young people, all around 20. Three women and two men. He recalled walking down a dusty road in the searing heat when he'd noticed a van drive past. The van slowed to a stop near him and the door opened. A girl in a white dress had asked him where he was going and offered him a lift. He'd accepted the invitation and entered the van. He didn't remember exactly when he'd taken the photo, but it wasn't long before he was kicked out back onto the road as he usually was.

"And I think about death"

The next photo was of a wilted sunflower, it's once vibrant hues tainted by black rot. The stem of the plant had been snapped so the flower drooped limply. A bird pecked at one of the fallen seeds upon the ground.

Following that was a picture of a crushed animal that Nubbins had assumed to be a racoon. The animal was rendered a pile of bones and fur, it's flesh almost completely picked clean by other creatures. A spray of blood dried beneath the bones, painting the road below.

Another image, the bloodied body of a young woman, barely alive. Her pretty white dress stained with crimson. Life leaving her eyes through floods of tears in vain. Final moments immortalised in the flash of a camera.

Nubbins lifted the final photo. A family dinner all for one exception. Nubbins looked longingly at the empty chair, as if imagining someone there. He kept hold of the photo as he gazed back at the endless black on the other side of the window. The twinkling lights in the sky seemed so close, though Nubbins knew they were all miles apart, never destined to meet. Each lonely star would burn forever, just as Nubbins would wait for his brother. Eternally.

"And neither one particularly appeals to me"

A searing sting from Nubbins' palm jolted him out of his trance. He lifted his hand, inspecting the wound, a wound that never seemed to close. He wondered if it ever would.

[dertaglichedan]

The most-recent National Hurricane Center (NHC) forecast shows winds related to Hurricane Beryl arriving in Texas on Saturday night.

Beryl strengthened into a hurricane on Saturday, becoming June’s easternmost major hurricane in the Atlantic. The storm underwent rapid intensification and became a Category 4 hurricane as soon as its wind speeds reached 130 miles per hour. The system temporarily weakened to a Category 3 before strengthening again, with maximum winds documented at 150 mph when it made landfall in the Windward Islands on Monday morning.

At one point, Hurricane Beryl was categorized as a Category 5, but it has since weakened again to a Category 4, with wind speeds at 145 mph.

The storm continues to tear through the Caribbean, and the NHC expects it to arrive in Jamaica on Wednesday afternoon. It will continue its progress toward the Cayman Islands and arrive there early on Thursday.

“Devastating hurricane-force winds, life-threatening storm surge, and damaging waves are expected,” the most-recent warning said. “Life-threatening flash flooding and mudslides from heavy rainfall are expected over much of Jamaica and southern Haiti through today.”

[lacroxton]

Automatic Autonomic Automated Vending Machine

One of my favorite fics I wrote and also the first translation I tried. Inspired by Cyberpunk 2077, Death Stranding and Atomic Heart, it's a story about freedom, promises and the post apocalypse Terra with Vending Machine Exusiai & Messenger Texas.

Warning: Blood and Gore

//

Once there was a flood; A surge that gave birth to all life. Once there was a flood; A surge that selected our civilization to survive. And then there was another flood.

The flood that left nothing behind.

Later that night, Texas opened her eyes and saw two men staring at her bed, clutching a hoe and a harpoon respectively. The harpoon's tines touched both sides of her neck, and the soon-to-be murderer was tense and shaky. Texas wasn't sure whether the corners of his compressed lips were laced with excitement because the moonlight was too faint to cast a shadow.  

She and Exusiai originally came to this church to escape the sandstorm. The journey to Laterano passes through vast wastelands—places that had never been favoured by Mother Nature, and would never be transformed into mobile cities. The whole world had forgotten them, but God still allowed them to survive, so the people were left with nothing but faith. They gathered together, lingering in groups of three or five, praying. No one knew what they were praying for, but they were confident that a miracle would happen one day.

It was at this time Texas and Exusiai pushed the door in. As luck would have it, this small self-rescue community had just vacated a few beds. Last week, a man had died of a hyena's sharp teeth; a mother and her daughter had died from picking poisonous sandfruits. If the food in the warehouse didn't replenish soon, everyone here would starve to death. Exusiai hence made a proposal: to exchange three nights of safe and sound sleep with hot, yummy meals.

At first, people questioned whether this was some kind of originium arts or tricks unleashed by Texas. They had never seen anyone travel with a vending machine, let alone a talking, enthusiastic, joyful vending machine. The flashing pixels would form an image of a redhead Sankta on the machine's square screen, with up to 24 combinations of facial expressions and an excellent sense of humour beyond the human level. Of course, these extra "add-ons" were shenanigans Exusiai came up with just to sound a little bit cooler. Based on her polymeric converting system, her most crucial core function was actually INSTANT COOKING : you can put any raw materials into the ingredient slot, select the recipe and wait for a few seconds; gourmet foods full of umami will instantly drop out and ready to serve. Wilted rice cobs become hearty rice balls, and expired tuna cans become creamy bowls of tuna soup. If you put in a few shrivelled berries, even the melt-in-your-mouth desserts will no longer be a luxury. Exusiai fulfilled everybody's wishes with a big smile: the first day, and the second day, until eventually, no one questioned her or their own stomach. They praised: these are the best food we have ever eaten in our lives; these are the evidence that God has come to save us.

And that was also why they would never allow the precious happy hour to come to an end. Selfishness let greed swell and fester in their hearts, finally, on the last night, they decided to take possession of Exusiai for themselves and leave Texas to Death.

Luckily, Texas had been acquainted with Death for so many years. The harpoon that choked her could've bounced off the bed, projected back the way it came, and quickly pierced the murderer's heart whenever she wanted. The guy holding a hoe beside him was even skinnier, and wielding an unfamiliar weapon in panic could only backfire. Inertia would cause that weak body to trip over the bricks behind him, inadvertently knocking over a bright oil lamp on the way, until drowning the entire church into a roaring fire.

But before all this could happen, Exusiai's voice drilled into Texas' ears. Texas tilted her head and saw the screen of Exusiai still showing a smiling face; her voice still sounded warm and joyful. She asked those two guys, and everyone in the room who pretended to be asleep: Even if you've taken me for yourselves, how do you know they won't eradicate you the same way they eradicate Texas? How can you be so sure that the fairness everyone promises will indeed be fair?

......We can get through anything as long as the Lord stays with us! Nobody could tell who shouted first in the darkness.

Is that so? Another voice came up, however, retorted, you don't think putting on this face will help you cover the fact that YOU are the thief who steals from the warehouse every chance you get, do you?

As it turns out, people's beliefs are often more vulnerable to suspicion than they could ever imagine, just as fragile as their relationships with each other.

Like something important had suddenly dawned on him, the harpoon was removed from Texas' neck and then dragged slowly toward the tall man guarding the warehouse. The hoe guy also clenched his teeth, turned to aim at the old man lying under the window who always got pardoned from labour duties due to health conditions. Their movements ceased to tremble, so the stone effigies around the church were soon stained with blood. In the midst of yelling, cursing, and killing each other, no one bothered to care that this was a place blessed by God anymore, leaving only dead bodies and pieces of flesh twisted ugly on the floor.

Then, Exusiai selected a few freshly slaughtered tenderloin, had Texas put them in her ingredient slot, removed the bones, and grilled them on both sides to make black pepper patties: crispy outside, juicy inside. Her body wasn't equipped with a gustatory system, therefore couldn't taste anything, but she hoped Texas would like it.

Such a shame it ended so soon. Exusiai's vocal compartment created a series of chewing noises. I was kinda looking forward to watching Texas fight over me.

There was no need for that. Texas divided the patties into equally small pieces with her originium sword, then sealed and packed them into a leather pouch—which would be her sole food supply for the next two days. If you're willing to go with them, she said, I won't interfere much.

What if I'm NOT willing?

The pixels that make up Exusiai's pupils had narrowed, so that her eyes could scan every frame of Texas' movements, watching her light a cigarette by the remaining flame of the oil lamp.

The cigarette seemed to have damped too badly. Texas lowered her eyebrows in silence for a long time before finally exhaling the first puff of mist.

She thought for a moment and said to Exusiai, then I will guarantee your freedom.

*

For a long time, Texas couldn't be sure whether adding the word "freedom" to her vocabulary would be a change for the better. But, she must admit that ever since she met Exusiai, "freedom" had always been intertwining with her life.

When she thought back to that day, Texas' memory was already a little fuzzy. She hadn't eaten a full meal for probably five or six days straight, so hungry that she couldn't even spell out a word, and every breath of air she took only made her stomach emptier. Her car crashed far away, and her package was destroyed in a cave even further. At the end of the day, only half piece of hardtack was left in her pocket. But that was the last straw Texas could grasp. She couldn't eat it yet, not in such a rush. She just needed to find a roof in the ruins of this nameless city to rest for a while; so that when she woke up, the illusion sleep brings to her brain would allow her to hold on for another day.

Texas leaned against a broken wall covered in mud and dust. She knew no one would come to save her. No one would rescue a messenger who failed her mission. Not before The Silence , and sure not for fifty years after it. The only hope was the golden sunset shining on her cheeks; Texas exhaustedly shut her eyelids, wishing it would bring her a sweet dream.

Then it brought back a terrible chunk of brownie. And a very talkative vending machine.

Exusiai had so many things to say, as if she was trying to list out all the details that did and did not happen to her life in a single sentence. She said she hadn't met a living human for fifty years—spent thirty years drifting in the sea, and twenty years drying out on the land after the flood receded. The good thing for her was that Sankta's ancestors, Aggeloi, were a kind of inorganic swarming construct floating in space, which led the modern technology of Laterano to be waterproof, and not even have to rely on electricity. By solely absorbing cosmic radiation, Laterano machines could function perfectly under almost every circumstance; some newer models could also disassemble, reorganize, polymerize, and activate any substance on the molecular level. 

By conducting hundreds of millions of calculations for armageddon, Sankta's God, the supercomputer under The Basilica, had ultimately decided that the Digital Life Project was the best option with higher success rates. Even if their paradise got annihilated by the Seaborns, and their primary network connection got cut forcibly—as long as a certain number of angels' consciousness was successfully uploaded, one day, the Sanktas would return to their homeland and continue the Laterano civilization. 

Exusiai was one of them.

Her consciousness was uploaded to a vending machine, which had no mobility whatsoever, nothing but to lie on her back in the ocean currents, looking up at the sky. Therefore, Exusiai had only been to places where the wind took her. The seawater licked her metal surface and plated it white with infinite waves of salt. Time has never been slower than the years stuck between gears. The wait was too long for the Sanktas to maintain their sober soul; so far, Exusiai had received 1099 neural signals from the other machines shutting themselves down—signals of solid, mutual emotions constructed by the shared memories of Sankta, which is also the confirmation of the very faith of being alive.

Every time these signals dissipated, it felt like some dull, gloomy, lifeless light spots distantly fell across the horizon. But Exusiai was looking up at the sky still. Waiting, expecting, humming while counting the seconds, and fifty years passed just like that.

Until Texas' elbow accidentally touched her button.

Exusiai said she had nothing else to give Texas as a courtesy for their first meeting, and her ingredients, the residue of fruits and dirt dropped inside her slot during all these years, were barely enough to make a brownie. It's probably gonna taste bad as hell, Exusiai added, but at least you wouldn't die from eating that.

Texas wolfed it down almost immediately. She was so, so hungry that her tastebuds no longer distinguish between good and bad, mistaking the sweetness of blood in her saliva for a chocolate flavour. She even ripped off a couple pieces of skin on her mouth as she rolled down the grassy crumbs with her teeth.

Then she licked the corners of her dry, cracked lips and asked Exusiai why would you save me, using a voice as hoarse as broken bellows.

Simple. Said Exusiai, scrutinizing the employee name tag on Texas' chest. The plastic seal was severely scratched, and so did Texas' entire body, as it was tattered and torn, revealing scabbed wounds on her shoulders and tail. I need a messenger to get me to Laterano.

But verbal promise never equals trustworthiness, Exusiai. Texas could feel the thirst now; taking carbohydrates all of a sudden with a flimsy stomach wall apparently triggered some acid reflux up to her throat. For example, I might promise you first, then drop you in the middle of nowhere halfway through.

It's your freedom to do what you want, Texas. Just like it's my freedom to trust a starving ghost lying next to Death. Exusiai didn't tell Texas what she really trusted was a pair of eyes that couldn't lie.

Then what? Texas asked. Those eyes lit up for a rare second. After I get you to Laterano?

Then a REAL piece of strawberry shortcake, of course. Said Exusiai. But if I'm in a good mood, I might also be merciful and share half of it with you.

*

The Lupo without a home and the Sankta without a human body had been on a long journey together ever since.

The vending machine's weight was lighter than expected. Texas quickly scavenged some iron parts and fabrics from the wreckage of the surrounding buildings; Exusiai's polymeric converting system then polished them into a brand new cart with four wheels and two strong straps. Using the rest of the materials, she even tailored a new set of well-fitting clothes for Texas. It was still a long, long way from Laterano, so they spent the daytime walking in sunlight and nighttime under the tarp by a campfire. When Texas fell asleep, Exusiai would dim her screen and lay on the ground, counting the stars.

Exusiai also cooked many, many meals for Texas. From burger and soda combo to fettuccine alfredo, from apple cheese tart to creamy mushroom soup, the chef's recommendation never repeats itself. Although the truth was, these were the foods that Exusiai wanted to eat the most, and yet she couldn't, so sending Texas to collect different ingredients and cook them was the only effective placebo for her cravings. After Texas finished a dish, Exusiai would also force her to comment on it, as if she were some kind of a regular cast on a cooking show.

Texas remembered she had watched something just like this on an old VCR when she used to eat earthworm burritos and cricket jerky back at the shelters in Columbia. That show must be about 60 to 70 years old, even older than The Silence , and the person in front of the camera with a microphone, known as the host, would use a crazy amount of fancy words to describe whatever dish served to her. In the same way that "a steak without wine isn't a good steak," all of the diners captured on screen must also demonstrate an exaggerated nodding, smiling face as if the deliciousness has blown their mind away. Nobody ever found out if those foods were indeed that delicious.

However, Exusiai's 24 pixel combinations didn't allow for such precise facial expressions. Her screen would only display a progress bar below her complacent grin—accompanied by a short piece of electric punk music that runs way off-key at the end of the bar. She was clearly neither a good host nor a good singer.

Texas, on the other hand, was neither a critic nor a liar. So she simply rated every single dish Exusiai cooked her as "tasty".

Time flew by, and they met many other people along the way, leaving new stories with new encounters. Although the flood had receded for twenty years, it was still hard for people's hearts to sprout again from the barrenness. At first, they were tormented by the never-ending hunger and fear. Then, they spent countless days and nights tearing down the fortress besieged. Finally, they returned to the surface, only to find out they must work even harder to keep themselves alive. Everything else was torturous, only the stories were glamorous, so people immediately embraced a new faith. These stories then spread further and further through the winds of the wilderness.

When the neural signal of the last Sankta's death had reached Exusiai, people started praising again: a newborn God had come to this world. God is among the machinery, with a grey wolf guarding her side. Wherever they go, there will be no worries or troubles; Wherever they stay, that place shall be the home of all joy.

People voluntarily elected the talking, enthusiastic, joyful vending machine to wield the sceptre of salvation for all mankind. 

The only remaining Sankta therefore walked on earth, stretched her wings and halo, as she had become the living Laterano.

Sadly, the results of being at the center of attention were often mixed between good and bad, Texas was well aware of that. As many people accept their existence, there will only be more people coming after them, and that's how every story ends. Whenever God seems to tilt the scale to one side, those who desire to be favoured but have not been granted will automatically gather on the other side. The center of the scale is engraved with war. No one ever realized that wars have always arisen from people themselves, and have nothing to do with God, nor with Exusiai.

But Texas was not the type to guess at people's hearts. Whatever side people showed her, she would believe it until they betrayed her. That's why Texas was always covered in blood. Mostly from other people, occasionally from her own, with the crimson slicing her forehead open, drenching her hair and burying her heavy eyelids. Exusiai stood just behind her, acting as a solid wall, letting crimson handprints blend into her crimson metal. That wall was uncomfortable to lean on, and it was even colder to the touch than stone bricks, but the key selling point was that the wall could tell a lot of corny jokes. Exusiai's excellent sense of humour put Texas at ease.

While waiting for Exusiai to prepare dinner, Texas unprecedentedly had a sweet dream.

The dream was of a certain cafe recommended by another cooking show. Texas had never been to a cafe, only seen it on videotape, so the whole place was covered with an old film-like filter. But Texas did drink coffee. She remembered the coffee at the shelter as a liquid very bitter, very sour, and very astringent with no aroma at all. Not sure why it was so popular other than it keeps people awake. Thinking that maybe real coffee wasn't like this, Texas ordered another cup of brew in her dream, but it still tasted the same. She frowned, and her tail froze briefly, only to be watched by her tablemate, stifling a laugh while letting out a long gulp of air.

Texas lifted her head up. The girl on the other side of the table looked like a Sankta, with a halo, wings, striking red hair, a cheeky face and beautiful eyes. Texas didn't think she had ever met this girl before. But the subconscious reaction of the brain soon let Lupo know that the angel in front of her was indeed Exusiai. Perhaps it was because she had a delicate piece of strawberry shortcake in her hand.

Then, Exusiai took Texas's coffee cup, tore open a few small paper sacks and plastic wrappings, poured sugar and milk into it, tasted it first, and stirred it evenly with a wooden stick. This time, Texas couldn't taste the bitterness anymore. It wasn't sour, wasn't astringent, and the coffee became nutty and sweet for the first time. A sweetness that Texas could understand.

Humans are supposed to eat together. Using a mysterious tone, Exusiai in the dream scooped off the corner tip of the cake and handed it to Texas. With a voice no longer being mechanically compressed, every expression and movement of hers was so smooth. Curious about this Exusiai's touch, Texas then reached one hand out to her and realized that Exusiai's skin was much softer than her own.

If there's no one joining the table, Exusiai stopped for a while, even the best food could be unappetizing.

Texas had to admit that Exusiai was right. She realized with hindsight that her tastes had sweetened over the time being with Exusiai—she even seemed to have become a little bit like Exusiai, with a pleasant glimmer of expectation for tomorrow.

She hoped, when they arrived at Laterano, that half piece of strawberry shortcake would be just as good as the one in her dream.

*

Texas woke up, only to find herself lingering in that same dream once again. The light of dusk stung her eyes. She tried to stand up, but the sharp pain and exhaustion coming from all parts of her body kept tugging her down, making her realize that struggling was nothing more than a futile waste of time.

So she had to strain to roll her eyeballs and hold open her blood-slicked vision, looking around.

She was surrounded by broken statues and marble columns. Collapsed church steeples in her far distance; scarred stained glass windows and stone arches in her near distance. The building's unusual solid structure caused one-third of it to survive the devastating crash from The Silence , whereas the other ruined two-thirds had the setting sun spilling in, wrapped around by gravel.

Texas leaned against a pure, white forest. Her memories were finally starting to flow again, which was a good thing, but what wasn't so good was the large amount of viscous blood gushing out along with it. She looked down, and the bleeding holes in her body then followed suit, loosened and gurgled like a dying crimson brook, one bubble after another. Texas's clothes were tattered and torn again. Only this time, the murderers were more skillful than ever. They had waited with more cunning and purpose, laying an early ambush around Laterano, armed at military grade enough to suggest that the still-functioning secret government had sent them on this mission. Texas couldn't quite understand why a force of this size had still yet to be used on rebuilding mobile cities.

And of course, none of that mattered anymore. The crushed arm, the thigh impaled from the crook of the knee, the ripped-open liver and intestines brushed by the warm wind, none of those things mattered anymore. Texas moved her tongue laboriously, letting the blood slide across her tastebuds with her weak breath. What mattered was that she couldn't taste anything any longer.

She lost her mobility, lost her sense of taste, lying on her back, looking up at the sky, and became just as wretched as Exusiai. Texas apologized for the half piece of cake. She poked out a few fingers, broken but barely retaining the sensation, and started touching the ground, searching for the metallic surface that made her feel at peace. Her colour had long been redder than the paint on the vending machine. But Exusiai didn't say a word. She stood quietly beside Texas; as if she was just a solid wall.

Their story was never supposed to end like this.

The Sankta had sung all the songs she could, told all the corny jokes she had, and made all the food she was able to, but the Lupo right in front of her wasn't getting any better because of it. Even though Exusiai's screen clearly possessed 24 different combinations of expressions—no matter how often she switched these pixel arrangements, none of them could accurately convey the absurdly huge sense of powerlessness that had descended upon her. She judged that her internal programming had made an unfixable error, or how else would she have only learned by now, that waiting for someone to die had turned out to be so hard.

Let's just......go with the joyful face then. Texas said softly, sounding like a dimming bonfire.

Then the joy returned to Exusiai's screen. She saw the corners of Texas' mouth lift gently upward as well—Texas looked so pretty when she smiled. Exusiai thought to herself, that if her happiness could make Texas happy too, she wouldn't mind being happy forever. She just felt confused at the same time. If Texas actually died, but there was no empathy link between Lupo and Sankta, hence no light spot belonging to Texas falling across the horizon—then how exactly should Exusiai mourn her?

But Texas had made her choice long ago.

She held onto the vending machine's shell, fingers sluggishly climbing upwards, bit by bit until she reached Exusiai's ingredient slot. Having the ability to polymerize and reorganize any substance meant that, even without the supercomputer's core connected, Exusiai could recreate her original body anytime, free of mechanical constraints, if she just used a living human of comparable mass as blueprints and raw materials. Texas had known that from the beginning. She also knew that the fact Exusiai had never brought this up, was because they promised to go to Laterano together. For the cake, apparently.

A pair of eyes that couldn't lie and a mouth telling only the truth. The same goes for both Exusiai and Texas. So, Texas chose to honour the other promise she made to the Sankta.

......Eat me up, Exusiai. One of Texas' arms stuck into the vending machine, and the other encircled the shell. She finally managed to straighten her neck, then pressed her groggy head against the conversion button, shivering, face turning sideways. As the soft Lupo ears snugly against Exusiai's hot metal surface, all she could hear was the creaking sound of mechanical parts and the off-key music singing "now processing" to the air.

I WILL GUARANTEE YOUR FREEDOM.

The human in the story closed her eyes in relief and chose to give God a hug.

Exusiai's gears mashed through Texas' young body at full speed. Hair, flesh, organs, and all different kinds of bones. In the iteration of death and rebirth, the piercing roar flew over Texas's lightly scratched ulna, half-healed ribs, worn-out cartilages and spiderweb-cracked femur......But without any exception, every bone of her was holy white, the same colour as those sun-bathed stone tiles on the dome of the Memorial Hall. They were reduced to pieces in unison with a short notification tone, becoming sustenance for Exusiai, light and airy, just like the last bit of frosting sprinkled on a dessert.

As the remnants of the secret operation squad scoured the ruins, the bloodied Lupo with two originium swords had already disappeared. Instead, a true Sankta with wings and halo pointed a pitch-black rifle at their nose.

Sankta's hair was striking red.

Sankta's eyes were beautifully shined.

Yet in this golden sunset, no one could truly see Sankta's face.

Exusiai could never figure out, why they had such a look of fear on their faces when she simply just returned all the arrows, bullets and originium arts back to where they belonged?

Unfortunately, the only Texas who knew the answer to that question could no longer answer her. It was as if Texas had never been born on this earth—and no one, no one except Exusiai, knew about her name, her past, or her future. The last thing left to prove that she had existed, was the tattered and torn clothes on Exusiai. The gift that Texas had worn for a long, long time, and now it had finally been gifted back to the owner.

The sunset had come to an end.

In the long night, Exusiai tucked her hands into her pockets, dragging her narrow shadow forward, alone.

Ahead of her, was The Basilica of Laterano that buried the supercomputer's core; And behind her, was nothing but a silent, barren, white and lonely land.

Strawberry shortcake didn't seem so delicious all of a sudden, Exusiai said to herself, thoughts interrupted by a small, firm chunk hidden deep in her pockets.

—Exusiai found the half piece of hardtack in Texas' jacket.

Doing her best to mimic the movements of Texas, Exusiai peeled off the outer wrapping and took a bite, chewing very, very slowly. Tens of thousands of taste signals on her tongue fed back to her brain, that it was "salty with a hint of sweetness". Perhaps sesame was also on the ingredient list, but time and the poor assembly line had far grounded away its aroma. It tasted hard and certainly dry, with crumbs flying everywhere in her mouth. Definitely didn't look good enough for an appealing advertisement.

But the flavour was so familiar. Exusiai thought, fingers rubbing against the fabric.

Till she eventually realized it was the flavour of being alive.

It was the flavour of Texas.

Exusiai then shed her first tear, declaring that hardtack was the most delicious food on earth.

END.

Lacroxton