#five whole minutes. just sobbing. Now uh. I'm scared lol.

[eteledhasanaxe]

For some reason I'm coping with the emotional damage that episodes 1 and 2 of MHA caused me earlier by looking at depressed gay lawyer and dead gay astronaut fanfiction. Ugh I'm not okay

[starstruck-xavier]

Bravery

there’s been a prinxiety renaissance!! this is my contribution to that lol

ao3 || wattpad || fanfiction masterpost

words: 1305 ships: karrot kings (c!thomas x nico flores), eventual romantic prinxiety warnings: panic, anxiety, mentions of crying, some angst but that’s not the main thing. also spoilers for “flirting with social anxiety”! summary: Virgil learns first-hand what bravery really is.

~

"One more chance at happiness, squandered." A pensive sigh is heard from Roman. "It’s probably for the best.”

Virgil glances to the usually upbeat character at his side, observing the downcast expression, the way he looks down defeatedly to the tiled floor of the food court with glistening tears in his eyes. All of their efforts to get Thomas to talk to this stranger, the lengths they went to just to look for pride pins, the monologues about truth that were supposed to instil hope in him and have him strike up a conversation, and now Thomas is watching the man walk away.

Fear grips his throat like a chokehold.

A memory jumps to Virgil’s mind, one of Roman entering his darkly-lit room after the events of the wedding and collapsing with sobs and expressions of absolute devastation. They spent the whole night together as Roman spilled the details of the entire discussion, how he’d made fun of Janus’ name in a thoughtless moment of impulsivity that he wished he could take back immediately. He looked genuinely guilty, defeated, and Virgil had sworn to himself he’d make sure Roman never looks that way again.

And yet here they are.

As Thomas continues to watch his crush gradually walk out of his life, the bag hanging limply from his hand, Virgil feels his breathing grow sharp. Oh, no. This can’t happen now. If his hyperventilation is going to cause Thomas to have a panic attack in the middle of the mall food court, that’d just be the disaster to end all disasters that happened today. Yes, Roman may be able to help him calm down, but is he in his right mind either? Logan or Patton would probably be best right now, but they’re not even here. Where is everyone else, anyway?

Then, as realisation strikes his chest along with the short puffs of air that leave his parted lips, a small voice in his head declares that the only one who can help is him.

With one last second of peaking tension, Virgil redirects all of the nervous energy into his hands and pushes Thomas forward with all the strength he can muster.

"Uh—!” Thomas stumbles forward clumsily, which easily gets the man’s attention.

"Hey!”

Don’t lie to him, don’t lie to him, don’t—

"Hey, do you want this food? I… don’t.”

Virgil feels the tension trickle out of his body and disperse into the floor beneath his feet like conducting electricity. At his side, Roman almost appears hopeful, looking up at Thomas and the new potential love of his life through unshed tears.

The stranger laughs - an amazing sounding, sweet chuckle. "Then, why’d you buy it?”

"Oh, you— b— uh, that’s probably, y’know, because I was trying to see your backpack—“

“Wha— uh, my backpack?”

As Thomas starts to ramble, stumbling over his words and explaining the whole ordeal with the pride pins and wanting to talk to him, the tension bubbles up in Virgil again which makes Thomas stutter, but they both let it happen because this time he’s telling the truth. This is the shaky nervousness Thomas feels for the first minute or so of his stage performances, easing up when he gets really into it until all that’s left is the passion and confidence that makes so many people love him.

There’s a small pause after Thomas finishes, a painstaking moment when Virgil and Roman share the same thought of apprehensive dread, then…

Then.

"Oh, my gosh. You should’ve just said hi!" The smile on his face is blinding. Virgil freezes, almost forgetting to breathe for a moment.

They sit down and start talking to each other and Virgil can feel Roman’s intense focus on the conversation, as well as feeling the sensation of touch return to his fingers as their words entangle and mix with each other like a beautiful social dance. Despite the cringe he feels as Thomas accidentally reveals that it was him who knocked over the trash can earlier, everything else is just amazing. Beautiful, even.

It’s only second to the look on Roman’s face as Nico gazes into Thomas’ eyes and says five simple words, "Let’s not waste this one.”

Roman gasps. "Shut up.”

"Shut up.” Virgil repeats, dumbstruck.

"Shut up!”

A shuddering exhale leaves his lungs; he looks over at Roman once more to see that usually upbeat prince again, but this time it’s different. This time it’s genuine - the way his eyes scrunch into little crescent shapes, the unbridled grin.

Oh yes, Virgil loves this kind of happiness way more.

"Thank you.” Roman sounds breathless, but ecstatic; there’s practically hearts in his eyes.

It takes a moment for Virgil to find his words again, hunching his shoulders nervously. "Uh— you’re welcome? In all honesty, I really don’t know what that was.”

Then, Roman tenderly touches his shoulder, his hold reassuring but gentle.

"Bravery.”

The word echoes through his mind. Bravery? He said that to Anxiety? “Wha— no, I—”

Roman cuts him off with an affectionate chuckle before turning back to watch Thomas and Nico talk. "Shut up, emo.”

~

Just a few hours later, Virgil’s in his familiar darkly-lit room again, calming down after that incredible day when Roman rises up. The sight is reminiscent of the day of the wedding, but this time Roman is happy. The happiness is literally contagious as just the look on his face brings a smile to Virgil’s too.

"Hey, Princey. How’s it going?”

Roman doesn’t say anything; he just walks over and sits next to Virgil on the bed, then gently cups his face with one hand. "I love the new makeup, Virge.”

It was surprising when Virgil had entered his room earlier and looked in the mirror to see that his normally intense, black eyeshadow had transformed into a soft, glittery purple beneath the eyes, but even he must admit that he quite likes it too. Still, he rolls his eyes with a fond smile to keep up a vague image of sarcasm. "Thanks. I didn’t know it had changed until earlier, but I think it’s a thing that happens when I'm… full of anxious energy but also really happy.”

"You’re really happy?" When Virgil nods bashfully, Roman just smiles wider. "If that’s so, I love the eyeshadow even more, darling.”

Virgil snorts at the nickname, the glitter under his eyes twinkling under the dim light. “‘Darling’? That’s a new one.”

At first, he tells himself that the lovey-dovey nickname is just from Roman having so much romantic energy today, but then Roman leans in just a little closer and a tiny part of him hopes that this is genuine. He feels his heartbeat quicken and his pupils dilate, but as opposed to the panic he experienced at the food court, this feeling is entirely positive.

"May I keep calling you that?” Roman moves his hand away from Virgil’s cheek and takes both of his hands. Now their noses are just inches apart, Virgil can feel the warmth of Roman’s face and he quickly notes that he’s blushing too.

With the anxious energy in him, Virgil just knows that he’s going to stammer through his answer as much as Thomas was, so, instead of using his words, he opts for the best non-verbal option and pulls him by the sash into a deep kiss. Their lips slot together like something long-anticipated, something they’d both secretly wanted to do for a long time, with only a wall of nervousness now broken down between them.

The word Roman had said to him, ‘bravery’, comes to mind. Perhaps this is what he’d meant, feeling scared but facing his fears anyway. As they both break apart for air and then dive back into another kiss, sharing each other’s breaths, Virgil smiles against Roman’s lips.

Bravery. He should do this more often.