#five out of five is an ideal you can't have
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blackswallowtailbutterfly · 5 months ago
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Still haven't messaged my mom back. And I don't think I'm going to.
#you know how they say time makes you look on the past with nostalgia and that's why elderly people think so fondly of past decades? not me#there are moments I look back on with nostalgia sure but the overwhelming feeling of looking back on my childhood is just whatever I do#wherever I go whatever happens that will not be my life again. my memory is long I made a promise to myself I intend to keep I don't forget#support you having your grandkids if their mother is deemed unfit yes. take the older two myself if it comes to it yes. move provinces to#live with you to look after the five of them together where you would be my only adult connection and there's a language barrier and I have#no work history and I'd be between five hours and nine hours away from any other connection I have answer's an absolute fucking no. I've#seen how you are with my sister how you were with my brother. who do you think they call when they've had enough of you? do you not#remember most of the beatings I took was because I was standing between you and my brother? of course not because according to you you#never did beat me but if you think I'm not aware that would turn on me again the second I'm no longer distant and just visiting if you#think you'd find nothing to complain about because you've built up this golden child ideal of me in your head and want to forget how it was#when I was actually in your care you are very very wrong. I remember. I know that inconveniences a lot of people who want to forget#unpleasant things about themselves. me too to be honest I have memories I wish I could erase but I can't especially with regard to my#sister. I defended my brother but not her. not enough. and it's probably why I give so much to her now more than I should because it's#enabling but it is what it is I guess. I won't use my memories against anyone just for the sake of it but I absolutely fucking will#to protect myself or others. you want a redemption arc without admitting to anything? keep being patient and kind towards#your grandchildren even if you end up having to take them and if you can't do it for all five of them then accept that it's better for the#older two to be with me. that's it. those are your options: the older two are with me so you only have to look after the younger three or#you need to buckle down and learn from your past mistakes to look after the five of them and all that is *if it even comes to that* which#as things are it's not in danger of that! it was a regular fucking visit to monitor the situation that's all; they're not getting taken#literally every time she freaks out about something it's a 50/50 chance it's actually something or she's invented a completely#twisted version of events
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vaguely-concerned · 1 month ago
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My two cents on how much of Mind!Varric is Rook’s mind trying to fill the blank space and how much is Solas actively talking through a convenient blood magic paper doll of the mind: I think it's a mix of both, a truly collaborative psychosocial horrorshow if you would, but waaaay more towards the second. It feels too directed and tactical at times to be anything else. Rook's mind is willing to go along with the denial phase as far as it can fucking carry them to not have to face the grief and regret and does its part in papering over details that don’t make any sense, the way brains will strive to create coherent meaning even out of deeply confusing input, but to my understanding it's a collaborateur in how that plays out, not the instigator or control center. Solas is using it as a path to agency and to gather insight into Rook as a person unguarded as he can't count on in his own guise. (That stoic option that leads to him being like 'oh I see you're cautiously denying me access to your inner life. well. at least you still have Varric to talk to. y'know as an outlet :)'. You absolute BITCH Solas! That alone convinced me that he HAS to have an active hand in it on some level.)
My guess is that it takes considerable effort on Solas’ part to make Mind!Varric do anything more involved or complicated than seeming to sit up in bed and give casual commentary, and that’s why he keeps having eerie five minute shallow pep talks with you before he announces he conveniently needs a nap aaanyway good luck kid you got this haha. When he’s just spouting NPC lines from his bedrest, I’m ready to believe that could be Rook’s mind being allowed to improv lines for him more freely because it’s less about Solas trying to get something out of them or working an angle and more ‘Still here! Still totally alive and fine and the mentor figure you know and love and trust :) don’t even worry about it! Thankfully there is no war in Ba Sing Sei, as we all know’ upkeep work lol. Rook’s mind is allowed to set the tone of Varric, the outlines, but not always the content. 
AND, on a (beautifully fucked up) character psychology level, I feel like Solas is indulging in actually getting to be the good supportive mentor figure to Rook with one hand to assuage the guilt he feels about what he's done -- and what he's going to do -- to them with the other. Same internal logic as he uses in Trespasser about the Qun. ‘Almost everyone is going to die from the course of action I’m doggedly pursuing eventually. But at least I can make their last years happier and freer and kinder than they would have been otherwise. and that kind of makes up for it right. a little bit. doesn't it. doesn't that make it better at least. I need that to make it better)'. Did I really take your beloved mentor and friend from you if you don’t know yet that I did? Some philosophers would argue not really! So it’s probably almost ok actually. Isn’t it even a little noble that I’m taking all this grief and guilt on myself and shielding you for now. With undertones that I’m not sure he would realize himself (and might be mortified by if he did) that he is so incredibly lonely, and even a dishonest and indirect emotional connection is more than nothing when you’re that desperate. In this setup he gets idk. Both the control he craves so incredibly badly in relationships and over himself, and the scraps, the fading afterimages, of intimacy and warmth and companionship, even second hand. The one thing Solas and Rook agree on deep deep down is that they really wish Varric weren't gone. They're handshake memeing this in the saddest and most creepy way possible.
I think an important element too is that Solas needs Rook and their team to *succeed* —  up to a certain point. He needs someone to hold the two other elven mean girls off until he can get out of here. Ideally, in a perfect world, even do all the hard work of killing them so he can swoop in at the end and do his thing when both sides are exhausted and out of resources to stop him, and then Bob’s your uncle! Same logic as he was using with Corypheus, and after that worked out so well, too! King of choosing to never learn from a single solitary mistake he’s ever made even though i fully believe he could have the capacity to Fen’Harel <3 The underlying idea isn’t flawed, you see, it was just unforeseen circumstances getting in the way. This time for sure it’ll all work out the way I cleverly imagined it in my head beforehand. Cue By Talos this can’t be happening etc. in the form of a statue almost crushing him like a bug. 
So he's providing guidance and forging Rook into a leader from two angles: one Rook might not trust, and one they probably will. Shaping them into what he needs slowly and carefully. He’s helping you hone your team into their most effective state, as he might have done with his own agents back in the day, setting up his chess pieces even if he has to squint through two glimpsed realities to do it haha. Pincer maneuver of an insidious stealth mentor you never asked for. Also… at one point mind Varric gives you a whole little monologue about how Solas' problem is that he’s always seen his interpersonal connections as flaws and see where it’s landed him, all alone and the worst part? it hasn’t even worked. it’s all been for nothing he’s back where he began with nothing to show for it but his mistakes. Like...that has such strong 'uh okay happy to play your therapist from two rooms away here what the fuck kind of traumadump is this' energy to me, I’m not sure Rook like. Thinks that much about Solas as a private person. So much of Solas' self-loathing and futile insights into his own flaws seem to shine through in Mind!Varric's dialogue all the time — I just can't believe that there's no guiding hand behind it as it were. 
Most of all. I feel like people underestimate the degree to which Solas is incredibly funny. As in, he has a very consistent and recognizable sense of humour. It’s one of my very favourite things about him. We must remember — it is crucial that we always keep in mind — Orlesian accent and wig Solas from May The Dread Wolf Take You (my beloved, the explanation for why I love this dude even with the. All of the everything else. No one does it quite like him). He is not at all above doing things or adding little flourishes for his own obscure amusement, in fact that seems to me to be one of his most consistent traits. The Randy Dowager Quarterly comment Varric has? The ‘Maybe this is the Dread Wolf’s revenge. Forcing us to house sit for him’ thing? To Me this is 100% Solas amusing himself in his boring Fade jail surrounded by the screaming hellscape of all his regrets. Source: it came to me as divine revelation through pure vibes trust me bro 
If nothing else I find it much more narratively interesting personally if the connection between Rook and Solas really is that defenselessly intimate and entwined (and so unbalanced!), and the sense of violation and invasion and betrayal afterwards consequently all the more nauseatingly intense. Even if you kept him at arm’s length in the open, he’s been under your skin the whole time, looking around, gathering what he needs to destroy you, wearing the face of a friend. Regretfully, probably, but choosing to do it every step of the way anyway. (Sound familiar, Inquisitor? Solas doesn’t have that many tricks when you actually look at it, he keeps returning to old tried and true ones like a dog with a bone haha.) Maybe he even genuinely meant some of it as mercy, which only makes it so much worse. It makes his sin against his own core principles of autonomy and the freedom of all beings in mind, spirit and body so much more juicily grave if it’s something he pursues actively and consistently, rather than it half-falling into his lap as a happy accident mainly orchestrated by Rook’s own subconscious. Solas, too, is at his very lowest point, the closest to giving in and becoming his own antithesis fully that he’s ever been, and it makes the choice of whether you still reach out your hand to him one last time or not all the more impactful and difficult.
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scented-morker · 12 days ago
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Lovesick fools
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Alternatively… enha’s reaction to being on a variety show with their idol!crush
No warnings, 2k words, implied fem!reader.. these took me forever </3
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Heeseung
Fourth gen vocalists on the show ‼️
He was so excited to be there that he totally forgot you would def be there too
Until he was getting his makeup done and you walked in with curlers in your hair and coffees in your hand
He immediately found himself smiling at how cute you looked, and it only got worse when you handed him a cup
"Twitter said this was your order, I hope it's right."
The makeup artist starts laughing and opts out of putting blush on him bc he's all red from you
Once filming starts you all sing a prepared cover, and he's so focused on his own that he stays calm for most of it
Except yours is last, which means his mind is fully empty since he’s done and now all he’s able to focus on is how pretty you sound and the way you smile through the words
You sing 'drinks or coffee' from rose's new album and he swears you wink at him
"We don't have to talk, I know that you want me."
Twitter goes crazy bc you absolutely did wink at him, and they have the slow mo replay to prove it
Him blushing like mad also goes viral
He walks up to you backstage
"So... do you want to get drinks or coffee?" 🤭
Jay
It's shuhua's show again, but instead of sunghoon he's paired up with you
Bro gives himself a pep talk in the mirror before filming starts
"You are cool and calm and will not giggle like a school girl at her. Shes going to look pretty and you're just gonna have to deal with it."
Thinks it should be illegal to look good in a work uniform, but there you are
You guys are cooking and you're so impressed by how well he does at separating the fat from the meat
You are so horribly bad at it that Shuhua looks like an expert 💔💔
"Jay I think you need to help her, she's massacring the product."
Ok girl are you a host or a wingman
But he does, telling you to adjust your grip on the knife, reaching over to show you how to do it better which has you blushing like crazy
You guys are partnered up trying to give away samples against shuhua which is where you shine bc people just can't stay away from you especially when you pout and ask 'pretty please?'
Jay doesn't blame them, he's ready to buy everything in the store from you
One of the girls doesn't bat an eye at you when you beg but you're desperate so you yell after her
"Look how handsome my partner is, don't you want to come buy something from us?"
The girl comes back but Jay can't even be flattered bc he's too busy freaking out that you think he's cute
"Did you really mean that?" He asks you after filming
"Of course I did, I'm not blind."
So he asks for your number and ofc you give it to him
Jake
It’s some sort of school setting show
You guys are paired up against Jay and another member of your group as the four of you compete with trivia questions
You’re all English speakers, so they make you answer everything in English and since we’re already being delulu let’s say you have an English accent bc we know Jake loves that
You have to yell at him to lock in because when you start trying to reason out the question he’s so focused on your voice that he isn’t listening to a word you say
You guys are getting whooped by the other team
That is until your member makes a joke about you saying how your ideal type is a smart guy
Bro instantly locks tf in
“October 23rd, 2016”
“That is correct! Team Hot Accents gets another point as they make an impressive comeback!”
Yes that’s your team name, you both have hot accents and you know it 🤷‍♀️
You get so excited every time you guys score a point that you’re practically bouncing in your seat cheering and giving him high fives
You answer a few questions after that but he’s definitely carrying you guys and he could not be happier about it
“Don’t worry y/n, I got you. Just sit there and look pretty.” 😍
By the end you guys are tied and the hosts ask you to give your partner a good luck charm as he and Jay face off for the last question
You contemplate kissing his cheek before realizing that would probably get you murdered on twitter so you settle for giving his hand a squeeze after interlocking your fingers post high five
When he gets the question right he runs over and picks you up to spin you around in celebration
The editors definitely put some incriminating caption like [a very overexcited reaction from the golden retriever] that fans laugh at him for afterwards
But he doesn’t care bc you were in his arms and that’s all that matters ‼️
After filming you’re like “wow Jake you’re so smart do you want to hang out sometime?”
YEP YEP YEP YES HE DOES
Sunghoon
You guys were both ex figure skaters, so they had you guys film an episode at a rink
They got both of you a new version of one of your old costumes, and sunghoon was immediately red at the sight of you in the sparkling dress with a little cut out on the side
You both spent the first few minutes just running around on the ice, enjoying being back
The hosts had a list of skills they read out and then made each of you try
It only made sunghoon's crush bigger watching you move so gracefully, and he grinned so big whenever you'd compliment him
"Woah, he's still really good!"
Towards the end they had you try partner moves, everyone cheering when you guys synced up so well in the turns and twists
“Woah they look really good together! It’s like fate they move at the exact same time!”
They even let you try a stunt, and sunghoon became a stuttering mess when he put his hand on your waist where the cut out in your costume was
"Is- is this ok? I don't want to drop you, but we could skip it if you want."
"Of course it's ok!"
He's so touched at the amount of trust you put in him while trying out partner tricks
And it's rightfully placed considering the time you guys mess up he makes sure to change the angle of your fall so that he takes the brunt of the impact instead of of you
You apologize so many times, including going up to him after filming to thank him again
"Is there anything I can do to thank you?"
"How about a date?"
Sunoo
Who knows why the show paired you guys up
Maybe they saw the media attention from your brief waves to each other at an award show and the viral ‘bite me’ challenge you did together
But they bring both of you to a cafe set and you have to make coffees and such before being interviewed
You’d worked at a coffee shop predebut so at one point you reach over and grab his hand to adjust the way he holds the cup under the milk steamer
The editors zoom in on his red face while you turn around and practically sprint away
Your last task before the interview is to make a drink for the other person while they film a confessional about you
You’re sitting there stuttering over your words as an explanation as to why you ran after helping him earlier and how kind he was when you filmed your tiktok together last time
Meanwhile, sunoo is asking the staff for help to make your super specific and stupidly difficult drink order that he knows from watching your interviews
He pretends it was casual and easy once he joins you at the table, setting the cup down in front of you like he didn’t restart it 3 times
“This is my favorite coffee!! I didn’t even remember them teaching us this!”
“Wow that’s so weird, lucky me I guess”
He tried to be nonchalant but it was NOT working
He literally lets out a giggle as soon as you drink it and do a little happy dance when it’s exactly how you like
When the interviewer asks about your relationship (bringing up the award show wave) Sunoo says that you guys are casual friends but he hopes you can become closer after filming together
To which you respond ABSOLUTELY and promise to wave at him at every schedule you see him
That’s enough for his weak heart for one day so he doesn’t end up following up after the cameras stopped
but you kept your promise and after a few months of excited waves and animated conversations at award shows he secures your number and a date
Jungwon
He’s too responsible to risk anything by talking about his crush on you but once in a live you said you really admired him because you couldn’t imagine having to lead your group while being one of the youngest members
(He saved the video and probably replayed it about fifty times afterwards)
But that was enough to make one of the shows want you guys together !!
Which is how you end up trailing behind him through a creepy dark building while scare actors try to freak you guys out
Bro was not excited for this but he is doing his best bc YOU NEED HIM ‼️
You are so close to his back that he can feel your body heat and when someone jumps out you practically climb on his back
You apologize profusely afterwards, but he waves it off, offering you his arm to grasp onto for the rest of the time
You say in a confessional part that you were scared out of your mind but it was bearable bc Jungwon was there
“He was so brave and cool, it made me feel so much better!”
He isn’t even scared anymore, he’s just mad bc they’re intentionally making you upset so his cute angry face pops out and the two of you make it through the whole haunted house in record time
Afterwards he tells you that he hopes he wasn’t mean or anything, he was just upset they were scaring you
He was mad at them for doing their jobs 💔 rip
But that just made you appreciate him more
“Can I treat you to lunch one day? To thank you for taking such good care of me?”
He MELTS, of course you can
Riki
You and him were both on a variety show to show the difference between maknaes
He was the image of a cool and mature maknae, while you were the giggly pink maknae of your group
He thought it was gonna be awkward bc the whole point of the show was how different you guys were, but you got along so easily
As soon as you started talking he was a GONER
He'd watch you answer a question and get so distracted looking at your face that the hosts would have to repeat the question for him to respond to after 😭
So much for being cool
They ask him how he feels about aegyo to which he describes how passionately he hates it
So they make you do aegyo for him to see if he reacts
HE DOES
Homeboy starts blushing without even realizing it
It puts the biggest smile on his face that they tease him about for the rest of the show
You tell him you'll give him lessons in it if he wants while live and that's how he approaches you after
"You probably need my number to set up those lessons right?"
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darlingbabyboo · 1 year ago
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The Fluffy Life of Dating a Delinquent
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Tokyo revengers boys and the little things they do (that I want because I'm lonely lol)
Warning: extreme fluff, just Tokrev characters being in love with you
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Mikey is the type to buy snacks for you, no matter what. It doesn't matter what time of day it is, he's got some food for you too. He's calling you at 3am in the morning and telling you that he got you some chips, can he come over. He thinks sharing food is the best way to share love and well, he's right ❤
Izana will know everything about you. Your favourite colour, your favourite places to go, what you like to watch. Honey, he got you. You're his assignment and he's passing with an A+. He's the best person when you're sad because he knows exactly what to do. He can cheer you up in five minutes, tops.
Draken is so protective of you 😭. He knows he's well-liked and he's got an entire brothel, might as well take advantage of it. He wants to take care of you, and he knows you need boundaries and space sometimes but he lives a bit of a dangerous life, he needs to make sure you're taken care of. If someone actually got a scratch on your head he's killing them. No questions asked.
Hakkai didn't come from the best family. After the death of his mother, everything kinda fell apart. That's why he wants to start new traditions with you. Getting take out every Friday, matching accessories, whatever it is. He considers you family and he can't wait until you two pass down these traditions to your children.
Baji names cats after things related to you! Your favourite things to eat, do, whatever! Anything that's remotely related to you, that's the new name of the cat! Has given cats pet names that he usually uses for you, sometimes it's a bit confusing, but it's more so endearing.
You can say all you want about Kisaki but no one can say that this man isn't your biggest fan. You're the only one in his eyes but you're also the best. You got no competition but you're also destroying your competition with the twitch of your finger. Ain't it nice, to be someone's one and only 😆
Ran's ideal date is a sleep date. You two watching a movie on the computer, cuddled together under the blankets. He lasts half the movie but it's worth it because he has his hands on your waist and chin on your shoulder. He says he's not a cuddler but his grip on you is like iron, he will not let you move.
Mitsuya will fit you into his schedule no matter what. He's got two younger siblings and a Hakkai to take care of but he always has time for his baby. Yeah, he has three late assignments, five new outfits to make and grocery shopping to take care of, but please tell him about your day. Will take a break from what he's doing for his beautiful baby.
Might not look like it, but Benkei has the best hugs. You guys see him latting Shinichiro's head, now imagine those big strong hands wrapping around you. He's so warm and comforting, his hugs are meant for a higher power. Even if he's strong, he's incredibly careful around you. Big strong men being delicate for you despite their strength 🤤
Rindou makes mixtapes for you. You're always on his mind and when you're on his mind, he just makes a playlist for you. You and him probably share a Spotify account at this point with the amount of playlists dedicated to you. And they all have the same sappy titles 'to the Love of my Life'.
You ever see someone looking at their partner in the picture instead of at the camera. Yeah, that's Shinichiro. He knows that he was lucky to get you, and he's in awe that you still choose to be by his side. Now, the only time he smiling is because he's looking at yours 😁
Cooking together, the best and tastiest love language around. Fits that best boy, Angry has it! Will make your faves, and he HAS to learn food from your culture. He likes going on picnic dates because he can show off his skills to you, and he loves hearing your enjoyment (and you're the real winner with how delicious everything is). You two cook together. Though if you're one of those who are a mess in the kitchen, Angry's just happy to see you enjoy things he made. Pls praise him though, he won't say it but be revels in your praise. Your words are everything to him ❤.
Takemichi is loyal to the end. Don't worry about this boy lacking, he's here for you. He could be in a room of models but the only one he's got his eyes on is you. You're #1 to him 🥰
If you hate someone Chifuyu hates them even more. You say something bad about someone once, he despises them forever and wants to sell their soul to Satan. He will not forgive and he will not forget. He loves you and he will never get other people who don't feel the same.
Wakasa would quit smoking for you. The minute you cough around him, he's throwing his cigar away and replacing them with lollipops. No matter how much he might miss them, your lungs are more important 😙
Those things that you're obsessed with that no one else really cares about? Kakucho will erase those worries, easy. He doesn't mind your ramblings, encourages them. Will keep it all in his mind and remember them so he can participate deeper with things. Your interests are his interests hun!
Kazutora loves spontaneous dates so much. And he makes sure that you two go on them often. Wants to make sure that your relationship never weakens so he loves being around you, and the best way to be around you is doing your favourite things! He will sneak you out if need be so you two can have a picnic in the moonlight.
You need some support, good thing Sanzu offers it unconditionally. Going from things like you needing help on wash day to you needing to cover up a body, your bae's got your back. He might not enjoy doing everything, he's just a tad bratty, but no matter how loud he's complaining throughout, he still gonna do it!
Smiley will defend your honour! He hears some bitch talking about you, he won't let that slide. Blood will be spilled. Someone got something fun to say about your heavenly skin, he gonna kill someone. He's like Draken if Draken was an unhinged gremlin. He will beat someone up and then look at you with a smile on his face like, are you okay precious?
All your dreams of drowning in a strong man's clothes (that's a fantasy we all have, right?) are fulfilled with Mucho. He's so much taller than you (and if not, he's got muscles for days) so whenever you steal some of his clothes, you swim in them. It's a beautiful, comforting, amazing feeling.
Atsushi is the kind to learn how to braid just for you! He knows that going to a barber is expensive so he's got your back. He's doing goddess braids for you, cornrows, whatever you desire. And if you're not a braid person, well good thing he can learn how to!
Shion's pet names are ridiculous! Will call you baby cakes all the time and then start calling you pumpkin the next day. Is he doing this because he's stupid yes but he also likes to see your little smile. All he wants is your goofy little smile 😘
Takeomi is a planner, always, and you're always going to be part of his plans. When he's talking about the future, you're going to be part of it. It's so sweet how casual he is about it, you two will just be laying down in his bed holding hands and he'll be mentioning how good you'd look with a ring on your finger.
Hanma is secretly a romantic. He's an adrenaline junkie in the end though, so he spins things to an insane degree. Sneaking up a ferris wheel and kissing you under the moonlight, telling you to skip school so you guys can watch the sunrise and sunset, skinny dipping at the beach! If it's a bit too much, he gotchu. He's fine with both of you just hanging out on your bed or chilling in the bath. He's not your typical love interest, but he's surprisingly understanding and sweet 😍
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Can y'all tell how deprived I am 😭. Also, not proof read because I'm lazy!
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singmyaubade · 1 month ago
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Cindy Lou Who
james potter x slytherin!female!reader
summary: you and lily have been polar opposites from birth, disconnected in everything. but when the one thing she has crosses the bounds, you can't avoid it even if it destroys you.
warnings: eventual smut! 18+ heavy angst, cursing , jealousy
a/n: so this is the winter special, yay! this chapter is kind of a teaser/chapter 1 but the next chapters will be longer and more angsty with james and y/n.
i hope you enjoy and as always, i apologize if you hate this!
chapter 1
You Loved Lily.
It wasn’t a strange or unusual thing to say—it was simply the truth.
Most people would have expected the two of you to hate each other. To be cold, distant, maybe even hostile. After all, she was Gryffindor, and you were Slytherin. In their eyes, that was all that mattered.
But you never saw it that way.
Lily was your sister—maybe not by blood, but in every way that counted, you knew she was. You’d been adopted into the Evans family at five, after the tragic death of your parents in a horrific house fire. Most believed it was because they had refused to bow to the Dark Lord's ideals, but no one could prove it.
Before that, your parents had distanced themselves from magic, moving next door to the Evans family, where they quickly became as close as family. And when they died, arrangements had been made for you to be adopted by the Evans family, should anything ever happen to them.
This had been because all your blood relatives believed in the same blood supremacy and Dark Lord bullshit your parents had fought against.
And you were glad to have been embraced by the entire family, maybe not including Petunia.
It was only a small blessing that you and Lily both received your Hogwarts letters in the same year. You’d felt for Petunia—who had never been particularly warm toward you—but Lily had always welcomed you with open arms. From that moment on, the two of you were inseparable.
The train ride to Hogwarts had been full of excitement—laughing over exploding bonbons, discussing what the Sorting Hat might decide for you. It was supposed to be the start of something unforgettable.
But then the Sorting Hat made its decision for you both.
Lily was placed in Gryffindor.
And you, despite everything you’d hoped and fought for, were sorted into Slytherin.
The moment the Hat’s decision was final, it was like a wedge had driven itself between you and Lily. It felt as though the very essence of who you were had been split down the middle: she was good, pure, and noble—Gryffindor. And you? You were suddenly cast as the enemy, the ‘dark’ side.
It was devastating.
At first, you tried to stay close to Lily. You would try to hang out with her at breakfast, walking with her on her way to classes. But it didn’t take long before everything started to unravel.
The argument that broke you both came in third year, right after the winter holidays.
“Lily, I would never have let Snape call you that!”
You were furious, your arms crossed tightly over your chest as you faced her, desperate for her to see the truth.
How could she not see it?
But Lily’s eyes were filled with hurt, the same hurt she’d worn for weeks.
“You’re friends with his kind,” She spat, her voice breaking as she said it, the words full of disappointment. Marlene, Mary, and James stood close by, eyes narrowed, almost as though they were guarding her from you.
You felt a surge of anger. "I came here to comfort you, and none of my friends believe in that bullshit! You’re being irrational!" The words slipped out before you could stop them.
James stepped forward, his eyes burning with contempt. “I think you should leave. Snakes aren’t appreciated here,” He said, his voice dripping with venom.
It stung. More than the insult itself, it hurt that James was speaking for Lily.
You scoffed, looking at her one last time before turning your gaze back to him. “I think this is between me and my sister, not her fanboy,” You snapped, trying to hold back the trembling in your voice. Then, more softly, you added, “I would never let anyone call you that, and you know it. I would’ve stopped him. Why are you acting like you don’t know who I am?”
There was silence. You waited, your heart in your throat, hoping for some kind of response. A softening of the tension. But nothing came.
Lily didn’t mutter a word.
Instead, she looked down, her face hidden in her lap, tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Fine,” you said, your voice cracking under the weight of it all. “I don’t need this.” You turned sharply, your heart heavy as you strode away from her.
It was never the same after that.
Lily had tried to fix things. She reached out time and time again, but you couldn't find it in yourself to forgive her. Yeah, you were kids but she didn't believe you, and in a way, that hurt in a way you couldn't explain.
As time went on, you found comfort in the only people who understood your world: Pandora, Regulus, Evan, and Barty. They didn’t judge you. They accepted you, as you were, and that was enough.
You missed having a sister, but you couldn’t help but think how different things were now. Now that you were in your seventh year and she was a Prefect, getting top marks, it hadn’t been a good time.
And now, seeing her laughing with the Marauders or walking through the halls with her Gryffindor friends, the gap between you both seemed impossible to bridge. She had changed. You had changed. And even though she gave you shy smiles in the halls or a wave, it hadn't been enough to fix everything.
And that’s why a part of you dreaded winter break.
You loved going home, but you and Lily always had to pretend everything was fine, that you were still inseparable, so your parents wouldn’t think you had drifted apart.
It was hard enough to answer their questions about each other when you weren’t even in each other’s lives anymore.
Your plan had been simple: retreat to your room, listen to the new ABBA album, and enjoy some much-needed peace. That was until Lily approached you in the library.
"Hey Y/N!" Lily greeted, her voice chipper yet low, as she bounded toward your table. You looked up from your book, offering her an awkward smile.
"Hello, Lily," you replied flatly, trying not to show how much her presence was already stirring your emotions.
"Um," she started, fiddling nervously with her fingers. "I just wanted to ask you something."
You raised an eyebrow, curious but guarded. "And that is?"
"Okay, so, you know how we always go to Niagara Falls for winter break, to the lodge?" She paused, waiting for you to nod. "Well, I was kinda hoping you'd come with me to James's cabin instead. Mum and Dad said I can only go if you go, and it would mean the world to me. I really think it would be fun—"
She rambled on, tripping over her words, but you were too stunned to respond at first.
You blinked at her, feeling like a deer in headlights. Deep down, you didn’t want to disappoint her, but.
"No offense," you began, keeping your tone as flat as possible, "But I think I’d rather die."
Lily’s face fell, and she looked at you with pleading eyes. "Y/N, please! It’s the one thing I’m asking of you, and I think it would be good for us."
You scoffed, looking back at your book as she moved to sit across from you. "With all due respect, Lily, your friends are not my type of crowd."
"They aren’t all that bad," she insisted, clearly trying to convince you.
You snorted. "Oh, and that’s why they decided to dump yellow paint on all the first years last spring?"
"That’s the Marauders, and they’re only, like, 60 percent of my friends. I really only like Remus and Peter," she argued, her frustration and humor mixing together.
You couldn’t help but laugh lightly at her defense. "Sorry, Lily. It’s gonna be a no."
You grabbed your book, standing up to leave.
But Lily stood in your way. "I’ll do anything! Your chores, your Potions homework—anything!"
You smiled in spite of yourself and tried to move around her. "Please, I just want to get to dinner."
"Please!" she begged, giving you her best puppy-dog eyes.
You rolled your eyes. "Okay, fine."
"Really?" she asked, her face lighting up in excitement.
"No," you grinned mischievously, moving past her and out of the library.
She groaned, clearly defeated. "You’re impossible."
A part of you wanted to help her, but you didn’t want to be stuck with the Marauders and her other friends for two weeks. It would be too long, and you’d be the outcast. The thought alone made you shudder.
But you were glad Lily was kind enough to accept your answer—at least, you thought she did.
--
You were sitting on a bench near the Black Lake with Pandora when the first nuisance of the day arrived.
"Hey, Y/N!" You turned to see Sirius Black striding toward you with that all-too-familiar charm and golden smile.
Pandora’s eyes nearly popped out of her head. "Is Sirius Black seriously coming over to you?"She asked, her words half-mushed with the cookie she was eating.
"That was a really odd phrasing for a question," You said, raising an eyebrow.
By the time you turned back to face him, Sirius was right in front of you, out of breath from his slight run.
"Wow, with that much stamina, Quidditch must be a useless sport," You joked as Pandora giggled.
"Nice one, madame," Sirius said, slipping onto the bench beside you without invitation, and you groaned in annoyance.
"What do you want?" You asked, trying to gently push him away.
"Well, a little birdie told me you said no to coming to James’s winter cabin," He said, grinning.
"If Lily thinks sending you is going to make me change my mind, she’s got another thing coming. I mean, I might’ve gone with Remus," You added sarcastically, watching as Sirius pretended to be wounded.
"That actually kind of hurts," He pouted, and you almost considered hexing him for real.
"Well, tell her you failed. I’m leaving this conversation," You said, standing up and moving toward the Great Hall, Pandora following quickly behind.
"But it will be fun!" He yelled.
"God, he’s truly insufferable," You muttered.
Pandora chewed thoughtfully. "His efforts are cute," She said as you glared at her, before adding, "But pointless and insufferable. I agree."
You laughed. "That’s certainly enough Marauder for one day."
And you thought that was the end of it.
--
You were packing up your things in Potions when another Marauder approached you, much to your dismay.
Before Remus could speak, you cut him off. "So, Sirius actually took me seriously when I said sending you could work?" You asked, raising an eyebrow.
"That’s seriously Sirius for you," Remus said, trying to joke. You raised an eyebrow, glancing at Barty and Evan, who were stifling laughs.
Clearing his throat, Remus tried again. "You know, we don’t bite."
"What if I do?" You retorted, as Barty and Evan snickered.
"Then perhaps you could be something new for us. We’d love to have you," He said with a serious tone, though you weren’t convinced.
"I'm sure you would, Remus, but I can’t say the same for Golden Boy himself," You muttered, grabbing the last of your books and shoving them into your bag.
"James holds no malicious intent toward you," Remus said earnestly. "He promised Lily he wouldn’t."
"That’s great, but I hold malicious intent toward him," You snapped, walking away from Remus as you left Barty and Evan to their conversation.
And, as if that wasn’t enough, they sent in the Lion.
You were lying on the common room couch with Regulus when you heard the door creak open, and there he was—James Potter.
Regulus blinked at him in surprise. You groaned. "How did you even get in here?" You asked, already annoyed.
"It was actually quite easy. You Slytherins are predictable," he said, clearly trying to insult you, though you didn’t care enough to react.
"Well, I’m glad, but if you think you can convince me to go, you’re bloody mistaken," You retorted.
He stood in front of you, towering over you as you sat up and fixed him with a dangerous glare. "Come on, Y/N. You know me!" He tried the nice-guy approach.
"I know you?" You asked angrily, "I certainly don’t know you and don’t want to," You shot back, stubbornly.
He huffed. "Then why don’t you do it for Lily?" He asked, arms crossed.
You stood to face him, matching his height with a glare of your own. "Because none of you actually want me there, and I refuse to go somewhere I’m not wanted or where I don't want to go," You stated firmly.
"Well, maybe we can get to know you. Maybe you don’t have a stick up your arse after all," He replied, sounding more teasing than serious.
"The only stick in my arse is you trying to wedge yourself into me and Lily’s relationship for the billionth time," You shot back, your patience wearing thin.
"I think if you actually cared about fixing your relationship with her, you’d come and enjoy this with her," He said, his words hitting a little too close to home. "But hey, it’s up to you. Just know, she’d do the same for you," He added, walking out of the room.
You stood there, staring at the door, trying to process his words. You didn’t want to be selfish, but you didn’t want to spend two weeks with people who didn’t care for you, either.
Regulus broke the silence. "So, I guess you’re going to the cabin tomorrow," He muttered, glancing up from his magazine.
You groaned, flopping back onto the couch.
"I guess I am."
833 notes · View notes
uravitypng · 9 months ago
Text
𝐢'𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬
pairing: bakusquad x chubby reader (katsuki bakugo + hanta sero + mina ashido + eijiro kirishima + denki kaminari)
word count: 4.4k words
a/n: definitely haven't been working on this for months <33 this turned out more fluffy than intended for a free use fic asdfghj. basically they all need to be dating!!! none of the bakusquad have any contact with each other... yet... idk i might make a part two where they're not just taking turns but all together with the reader
content warnings: free use, unprotected vaginal sex, oral (f!recieving & m!recieving), vaginal fingering, multiple orgasms, cockwarming, groping, biting, dumbification, slight breeding mention, somno, wlw, spanking, petnames - mdni (like my whole tumblr)
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when becoming friends and roommates with the bakusquad you didn't realise what it would exactly entail. becoming friends with five successful pro heroes while you're a civilian is something you would never expect, not in your wildest dreams, so it's not a surprise to you that your feelings for them grew with each day and after a particular turn of events you let them use you however they wanted. if they want to take out their frustrations of a stressful day by roughly fucking you than you're more than willing to oblige to their request or if they want to tenderly make love to you after an emotional and exhausting day you're more than willing to oblige- you're their toy after all.
they'll use you anywhere and anywhen, it doesn't matter if you're in public or if you're sleeping, you've given them your full consent.
the first time it happened was with katsuki. he was angry and annoyed and you didn't know what to do, you've never truly seen him like this before and you haven't been friends with him as long as the others have been friends with him, you didn't want to make it worse. ideally you would ask the others what you should do but they were all busy working.
you later found out a journalist cornered him after a minor rescuing incident and asked him more intrusive questions than normal and that day it got to him more than normal too. for some reason the press always seems to ask him more personal questions than other heroes you know and you can't figure out why but you have a few ideas: to see his reaction, to get more information about his private life from him because he's one of the more secretive heroes, or to see his 'real' personality wondering if everything they see in public is all just an image.
"i'm sorry katsuki. is there anything i can do to make you feel a bit better?" you ask him and in less then ten seconds he's pinned you against the wall and is biting your bottom lip making you moan, giving him the opportunity to move his tongue into your mouth, intertwining your tongues and muffling any surprised noises that threaten to come out of you. you feel his large callus palms run all over your body as he pushes up your shirt and touches every single part of his skin he can get his hands on, leaving bruises and pretty marks to decorate your equally pretty body.
katsuki shoves his hand underneath your underwear, not bothering to take off your clothes and fingers you until you start screaming his name and your vision begins to go blurry.
"holy shit katsuki. feel's so good." he pumps two of his thick fingers inside of you and his ego soars as he not only feels how wet you are but hears it too as your cunt squelches and you clench around his fingers. he smirks as you come undone on his fingers chanting his name over and over again, your fists gripping onto his shirt tightly.
"this'll make me feel better," he grunts and tries to press his body closer to yours than it already was, your tits now completely pressed against him. "god shitty woman how oblivious can ya be? swear you're useless sometimes. a fucking dumbass." if you were someone else you might have taken offence to him calling you shitty woman or useless especially in the position you're currently in but you're use to him calling you names by now knowing he doesn't mean them negatively, if anything they're affectionate, most of the time he'll call people extras and you're glad he doesn't see you as an extra.
"oblivious?"
katsuki grits his teeth, "shut up," he grunts and you feel his hardened cock against your thigh, he slams his lips against yours again and starts kissing you even more furiously, if you didn't know better you'd say passionately but you don't think he'd ever kiss you passionately.
he sees your eyes glazed over with a daze on your face and smirks. his hand goes behind you to cups the curve of your ass then slaps with the sound echoing against the walls, making you whine. you feel the humidity that's resting on his palms and your whole body tingles imaging him using his quirk (controlled) on you.
"no one else has made ya feel this good have they sweetheart?" he asks gruffly already knowing the answer.
"no, no one else 'suki. no one has ever made me ever feel this good!" you reply honestly, tears starting to fill your waterline.
he knows you're being honest and if anything you're being more forgiving of your previous sexual encounters and talking more favourable about your past sexual partners than they deserve. "fuckin' criminal."
after what happened with katsuki you sat down with your friends and told them that you give them your consent to use you whenever. katsuki looked so much calmer after and his body looked more relaxed, less tension. you couldn't help but think that your other friends would be the same.
you were bashful the whole time while speaking, mumbling and looking away, your whole face felt like it were on fire but you were offering to help them all, you knew how stressful their work is and you wanted to help.
you want them, you wouldn't tell them that part though, neither did you ever have to think hard on your proposal.
all of them loved the idea, why wouldn't they? they're madly in love with you. over time all of them fell in love with you but none of them would ever make a move on you not willing to lose or jeopardise the friendship they have with you nor are they willing to make a move while knowing how the others feel about you either. you're sweet, and kind, and beautiful, and brilliant, and a hundred million more things that make you special in their eyes.
none of them thought they would ever get the chance to be with you in any such way, romantic or sexual, and they were more then content with being your friend, strictly platonic, but now they get to be your friend and they get to sleep with you, they're ecstatic.
hanta likes cockwarming with you, every single chance he gets he pulls you onto his lap and onto his cock without warning and puts on a movie to watch as he watches you squirm and try to keep still but it's so hard keeping still when the longest dick you've ever seen is inside of you and you feel it throbbing.
hanta sees you struggling and grins as you shift around and whimper quietly. you're biting your hand to try to keep silent but it's ineffective. "hush princesa, i'm trying to watch the film." he says teasingly, holding onto your plush waist to keep you from moving and lifts up your top, caressing your soft skin making you get goosebumps from the sensation of his cold rings touching you.
occasionally he'll lazily thrust up into you, making you squeak, he'll chuckle at the noises you make and get off on how needy you are for him. "you look so beautiful sitting on my lap mi amor," your heart flutters and your face heats up whenever he calls you affectionate names in his first language and especially when he calls you my love, "but aren't you suppose to be pleasing me? you seem very needy and demanding for someone who has offered their body to me." you shudder as he speaks, still with his hand caressing your body.
you look at him and pout, causing his grin to widen. "not my fault, you feel really good."
hanta's voice drops lower and becomes husky while he leans closer to you, "yeah?"
you nod your head and try to wrap your arms around him, admittedly unsuccessfully from the position you're currently in as you're facing away from him to 'watch' the movie with him, making hanta chuckle. "yeah," you reply.
hanta smirks as he looks down at you over your shoulder and tenderly strokes your arm, "beg me to move." with no hesitation you beg.
with everyone else they'll take what they want from you and get you to come as many times as they want (if they do want you to cum) without you having to beg but hanta is different, he'll make you cry and beg for him. no matter how horny he is he'll wait for you to become putty in his hands as you cry buried in the crook of his neck, trying to grind against him and wetting his shoulder with your tears, pleading for anything he gives you. he loves seeing you cry for him and plead for his cock.
you're always so pliant for him and he likes to make you even more pliant. as your reward for listening to him he grabs your wide hips and starts to move you up and down, harshly, making the ability to breathe leave your body momentarily at the sudden movement all while cooing at you, albeit condescendingly. "awe does that feel good princesa? you finding it hard to take it all?" he grins as you tip your head back and rests it on his shoulder, your moans getting louder, unable to respond and form a coherent sentence.
you feel like you feel him all the way in throat, a completely impossible thought of course but it's hard to think otherwise with each time he slams you back down and your pelvis meets his it's making you lose every braincell you have with how good you feel and how good he fills you up.
"open up," you compliantly open your mouth still in a daze and hanta spits in your mouth, grinning as he watches you swallow it without any prior audible command to do so already knowing from previous liaisons.
his pace changes, every so often becoming quicker with shallow thrusts than back to a regular pace with deeper thrusts just to tease you and make you light headed, not knowing what to expect next. his groans become more audible and he grips onto you tighter, his blunt nails making a crescent imprint on your hips. "s-shit hanta i can't, too much."
"i thought you were my good girl. you were begging for me only awhile ago." he smirks, starting to get close.
"i am! i am your good girl, promise! just 's a lot."
he chuckles at your obedience, you really are his good girl, made for him- and the others.
but he does wonder if you're that obedient with them as you are with him.
he purposefully slows down his pace and wraps one arm around your supple middle keeping you bouncing and tilts your chin up to look at him with his other hand before placing a gentle chaste kiss on your lips.
mina seizes every opportunity to lay lingering wet kisses down your neck all the way to your chest. you get goosebumps as you feel her breath against your skin and feel the sticky lipgloss left over from her lips.
mina never wears lipstick but she's nearly always seen wearing lipgloss and they're always flavoured ones, enjoying the look of how the sticky remnant remains on your skin after being transferred from her lips and how you seemingly unconsciously swipe your tongue out over your own lips afterwards to taste the flavour that remains.
whenever a man comes onto her apparently not understanding the word 'no' she comes straight to you afterwards so she can feel you up and touch your soft body and curves. you're so much better than anyone else and she's so glad that you let her touch you however and whenever she wants.
beforehand when someone was so persisted that it grossed her out she still would come to see you, you were roommates and very close friends after all. mina would complain about them and you would listen and bash them because how dare they keep being so disrespectful, unable to be take a hint or handle rejection.
the entire time when mina used to talk about them she'd think about how soft your lips looked, how good her hand would look wrapped around your throat and how she wants to go down on you so bad that you pull her hair and more importantly squeeze your thighs together in between her head.
"such a sweet little thing for me," she tells you and kisses your ankle. you whimper and she opens up your thighs wider for now, wanting to get a good look at your pretty pussy. mina flicks her tongue up against your pussy lips making a shiver run down your spine before her tongue enters into your soaking hole, moaning at your taste and your aroma, making her dizzy in the process. you can't help but squeal and shudder at the sensation as her eyes gleam with every new noise you make. she removes her tongue from inside of you, the sweet taste still lingering on her tongue. she flicks her tongue up again, curling two fingers back into you and starts sucking on your clit.
the pleasure builds up inside of you with every curl of her fingers, "that's a good girl, come for me," mina mumbles against your clit and you squeeze your thighs with mina's head between them, not being able to stop yourself as you're about to come again for the third time in an hour.
"oh fuck, min-" the last syllable of mina's name is silenced in an inaudible groan as the coil in your stomach snapped and you unravelled where she helped to ride out your orgasm still between your doughy thighs.
now she gets her wish whenever she wants as she's able to look up to see how your voluptuous body shakes. she gets to feel how soft and warm your thick thighs feel wrapped around her head.
as you calm down from another intense orgasm you move to look at mina, "what about you?" hinting that you desperately want to return the favour.
she can see the neediness in your eyes and giggles. "i can't right now sweet pea, i've got to go to work."
"already?"
mina giggles again, "i'll be back soon babes then we can carry on from where we left off, okay?" she smiles brightly and takes her leave feeling equalling as needy as you but who can blame her when she spent the last hour pleasuring you and feeling your plump body underneath hers and getting you see your gorgeous face scrunched up in pleasure. mina doesn't mind the needy feeling though as the look on your face is worth it as she leaves because she knows when she comes back home you'll make her feel just as good as she made you feel.
eijiro works nights a lot of the time which means typically you get woken up by him. this means most nights you sleep with only a nightie on or a baggy pyjama shirt foregoing underwear or pyjama bottoms so eijiro doesn't have to worry about fiddling with any layers and pulling them down. the only exemptions about the clothes are when it's particularly cold that night.
after work he'll want to feel your soft body squish in between his fingers as he presses down on your malleable skin, groping you wherever he can get his hands on and pumping his girthy cock in his other hand a couple times, wanting to be buried in that sweet cunt that he loves so much so it's no surprise to you to be woken up to his grunts and gentle thrusts.
whenever you do wake up he feels guilty. he knows you need, and like your sleep and he never intended to wake you up so he strokes the sides of your body and softly tells you to go back to bed while kissing your temple.
sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but no matter the outcome of trying to get you to go back to sleep your body always has the same reaction, mewls and moans leaving your body involuntarily and you becoming more and more wet with each thrust that it's dripping down to your thick thighs.
the times when you don't fall back to sleep you don't move much, very much a pillow princess in those moments but that's what eijiro prefers. he likes looking after you and treating you like the princess you are. he enjoys doing all the work so when you do wake up all you can do is rub your eyes sleepily and moan louder while he tries to shush you because no doubt someone has to be up in a few hours for patrol.
"p-please," you whine but you don't know what you're begging for. eijiro knows though as he pushes the remaining inches of his cock inside of you, you both hiss, and he slowly and deeply starts moving in you. you grab hold of his muscular forearms and whine about the pleasurable stretch.
you turn your head to the side so your neck is bare. he knows what you want more than your tired words can mumble out so he turns your neck further to the side than you did to keep you still and bites down, not hard enough to cause serious pain and break your skin but enough to hurt slightly and cause you to gasp, your mind momentarily going blank and your hips to jerk up.
before you started sleeping with eijiro you didn't know you liked the sensation of getting bitten so much until he bit you to keep himself quiet while at a very lively party. normally he wouldn't mind people hearing how good he makes you feel and vise versa but there was a minority of people at that party who were all trying to make a new hero commission and he didn't want to to draw attention to you or him with those people, knowing what the last commission did. even though you are just a civilian he wants to make sure they stay well away from you but still that wasn't enough to drag you into an empty room and fuck you until you couldn't stand after seeing how beautiful you looked that night.
ever since then biting became involved in your sex life. eijiro knew he liked biting people before you, he enjoys the surprised gasps and how bodies move but with you it's completely different, it's on a whole new level with how plump your body is, it's like heaven. no matter where he bites you there's always some part he can sink his teeth into making your body beautifully buck up uncontrollably. the whole experience and sensation making him groan and the noises you always make in bed are like no over- ethereal, just like the rest of you.
when he hears the slapping sound of your two bodies making contact get louder and louder and sees the creamy ring left over from each thrust he has to hold onto you tighter, gripping hold of your love handles, enough to leave bruises, and looking up at the ceiling not wanting to cum yet. he knows as soon as he looks down at your cute face or perfect body he'll immediately orgasm so to try and make himself last longer he'll look up.
that on top of the quicker pace and him touching your clit, just the way you like it, makes you come. you clench around him and moan words incomprehensibly causing him to come too as he feels you get tighter around him.
"gonna clean you up in a second baby just let me stay inside you for awhile." at this point you're both falling asleep, he wraps his muscular arms around you tighter and manhandles your chubby body so you're laying on top of him, your arm on his chest and your face in his neck, the whole time making sure his dick doesn't accidentally slip out of you. even though you're semi conscious you know that you're going to be sleeping like this all night, both of you are too tired to move, with your last moments of consciousness being your slow blinks that you use to gaze up at eijiro admiring how handsome he is, you like when his hair is down after showering because without it being styled to be spiky you can see his roots coming through, red mixing with his natural black, even now when he's half asleep and ready for bed he looks just as handsome as he does at any fancy hero event he attends. "you feel too good to get up and leave and anyway i've got to plug you full, breed you properly to make sure it sticks." he mumbles against your forehead half asleep, drifting off only a minute or so after.
out of everyone denki is the one to touch you the most, if no one else is kissing you he's taking the opportunity to kiss you and hold you all over. he's the most emotional and vulnerable when it comes to sex too. he feels safe around you, to let his carefree persona down and to be sensitive and vulnerable, just staying fully in the moment with you.
the first time you slept together, you kissed his chest all the way to his hips making his hips buck up. he had wanted you so bad for so long and now he finally had you.
originally, you had stroked his cock for the first time and you heard a string of moans and it immediately turned you on more than you already were. as he got closer to his release he said breathy, "please don't stop, this will probably be the only chance i ever get to touch you." it had shocked you not realising that he felt that way but you didn't stop, doing what you were told, and knowing you were going to talk to him after.
not long after, he came and you threw your arms around him, arms wrapped around his neck and clinging onto him. he was still catching his breath, "do you really think this was a one time thing denki? i told you all before that i want to do this." he blushed and squished your cheeks, a habit he had picked up on doing recently at the time, you swat his hands away and giggle, denki smiles.
denki is also the most possessive which surprised you, if you thought anyone would be possessive your guess would be katsuki but it's really denki. he gets jealous when you spend more time with the others than you do with him and will want your attention. it's even more noticeable when it comes to other people who aren't in the bakusquad.
if you ever smile too cheerfully at someone, laugh too loudly at someone's jokes or if someone flirts with you he gets extremely jealous, you never flirt back though, you have everything you need and sometimes you don't even realise they were flirting in the first place.
at times like that denki is the most vulnerable. as soon as you both get home he's kissing you tenderly and holding you like fragile treasured glass in his arms. most of the time he takes you to the bedroom and lays you on the bed but this time he pushes your head down gently and you fall to you knees carefully. "do you need a cushion babe?"
your heart warms at how considerate he is. you look up at him and shake your head, "i'm okay," you smile up at him and you don't miss the way his cheeks are dusted pink. unzipping his jeans and pulling them down, along with his boxers that already are wet with precum leaking from his cock, you kiss his thigh and stare at his .
denki holds onto your head as you part your lips and open your mouth, taking him in your mouth. you hollow your cheeks and grab a hold of his thighs. he keeps his hips still no matter how much he wants to rut inside your wonderful wet and warm mouth. when his hips do occasionally buck it makes you gag before he corrects himself and pushes back against the wall trying to control himself not to pound up into you, he wants you to control the pace. the moans that he makes as you take him further only spur you on as your pace gets quicker and your nose presses against his lean stomach momentarily before having to leave and gasp for air. denki may not be as thick as eijiro or as long as hanta but he's still big, more than people would assume, he's bigger than average (only if slightly.) denki's arm rests of his head while he takes deep breaths.
"fuck babe that was-" you cut him off as you take him in your mouth again and wrap your lips around him and you hollow your cheeks once again. his moans and groans become more frequent and you can tell that he's about to come.
his grip get's tighter while resting on your head and his groans get deeper. "gonna come, you swallow alright babe." you hum in confirmation, "shit, shit, shit," his eyebrows pinch together and his hot cum sprays in ropes at the back of your throat and you mourn not being able to properly fully taste him. denki lifts you up by your elbows and when you come face-to-face you kiss his cheek, he's not satisfied with that though and he passionately makes out with you not caring that he just came in your mouth and is holding onto your plush waist while grinning against your lips. "bedroom." he whispers in your ear making you shudder at the demanding tone he used, not often does he use it but whenever he does... well it makes your whole body tingle.
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apartmentsmoke · 4 months ago
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Evan tells Tommy that he's babysitting Jee, but he still really wants to spend time with Tommy, if Tommy doesn't mind - and Tommy accepts. Jee's part of Evan's family, and Howie's family, and how bad can hanging out with a three-year-old - almost four, he is told by her in the car - be anyway? What he's expecting is a night on the couch watching Frozen. (Kids still like that, right?) Maybe tea parties. What he does not expect is that Evan already has an outing planned to Chuck-E-Cheese. Surprise - Chuck-E-Cheese still exists. He would've sworn they went bankrupt back in 2020.
He's not sure what Jee is going to think of him, but she remembers him from the hospital as "Uncle Buck's dirty friend" and accepts his presence easily enough. She keeps her hand in Evan's as they walk into Chuck-E-Cheese. It's one of the cutest things Tommy's ever seen. There's a thousand kids around, laughing and crying and shouting. He only has to focus on one, he tells himself, and lets Jee lead him and Evan through the maze of games. She stops at a claw machine and demands that her Uncle Buck win her a rabbit toy. After ten minutes, fifteen dollars, and Tommy tagging in, they finally succeed. The next two hours are filled with more exploitative games, the greasiest fucking pizza Tommy's ever had, and Jee spending five minutes deliberating between two similarly-colored bouncy balls to exchange for her tickets. Throughout it all, Evan's patience never wavers, even when they lose Jee for five minutes in the crowd and have to search for her. She's hiding under the air hockey table.
Tommy's doing his best to keep up. He's led all over the place, recruited to help with games, and tries to make sense of Jee's non-sequiturs. While they're standing in line for the bouncy ball, Evan nudges him. There's a big smile on his face. "I know this isn't an ideal date. Thanks for being here." "Of course," Tommy says, and he nudges Evan back. "I like getting to know your family, Evan." It's not what he expected, but seeing first-hand how full of love Evan's family is, how much love he has for them - he wouldn't trade it. Not even for the bluest bouncy ball. Evan's smile grows even wider. They're almost out the door when Jee spots a photo booth and hones in. "I wanna photo," she says, tugging at Evan's hand, and Tommy dutifully follows along. He'll - wait out here, he guesses, while Evan and Jee take their photo. They wouldn't all fit, anyway. It's a little awkward, hanging around the photo booth, but it's fine. They disappear behind the curtain for a moment and Tommy can hear Jee's high, insistent voice and Evan chuckling and responding, though he can't make out the words. Jee and Evan poke their heads out a second later. "You too!" Jee says, and Evan echoes her with a grin. "Yeah, you too. Get in here." They quickly learn there is no way the photo booth is going to fit them all. Tommy fits maybe a third of his body in. Evan frowns, then lights up again. "Hey, Jee, why don't we get out for a second? Then Tommy can sit down and I can sit on his lap and you can sit on my lap. Okay?" "Okay," she says, so Tommy squeezes in, and a second later Evan plops all two hundred pounds of himself and thirty pounds of Jee onto his lap.
"Evan," he hisses, and Evan grins at him, unrepentant. "Smile for the camera, Tommy," he says, and Tommy finds that his smile comes easily, especially when Evan turns to kiss his cheek on the last photo. After they scrabble out of the photo booth, Evan looks down at the strip of photos and their wide, grinning faces. "Oh, yeah. That's going on the fridge for sure." "For sure," Jee repeats for emphasis, and looks up at Tommy expectantly. "For sure," he says, and he's met with twin smiles.
[this fic has matching art by @aringofsalt! it's adorable and you should definitely go take a look]
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grison-in-space · 2 months ago
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you know what else fucks me up about the US election? one of the things that has left me reeling in bewilderment and grief this month?
I'm a scientist, y'all.
That means that I am, like most American research scientists, a federal contractor. (Possibly employee. It's confusing, and it fucks with my taxes being a postdoctoral researcher.) I get paid because someone, in the long run ideally me, makes a really, really detailed pitch to one of several federal grant agencies that the nation would really be missing out if I couldn't follow up on these thoughts and find concrete evidence about whether or not I'm right.
Currently, my personal salary is dependent on a whole department of scientists convincing one of the largest and most powerful granting agencies that they have a program that is really good at training scientists that can think deeply about the priorities of the agency. Those priorities are defined by the guy who runs the agency, and he gets to hire whatever qualified people he wants. That guy? The Presidential Administration picks that one. That's how federal agencies get staffed: the President's administration nominates them.
All of the heads of these agencies are personally nominated by the president and their administration. They are people of enormous power whose job is to administer million-dollar grants to the scientists competing urgently for limited funds. A million dollars often doesn't go farther than a couple of years when it's intended to pay for absolutely everything to do with a particular pitch, including salaries of your trainees, all materials, travel expenses, promoting the work among other researchers, all of it—so most smart American researchers are working fervently on grants all the time.
The next director of the NIH will be a Trump appointee, if he notices and thinks to appoint one. NSF, too; that's the group that funds your ecology and your astroscience and your experimental mathematics and physics and chemistry, the stuff that doesn't have industry funding and industry priorities. USDA. DOE, that's who does a lot of the climate change mitigation and renewable energy source research, they'll just be lucky if they can do anything again because Trump nigh gutted them last time.
Right now, I am working on the very tail end of a grant's funding and I am scurrying to make sure I stay employed. So I'm thinking very closely about federal agency priorities, okay? And I'm thinking that the funding climate for science is going to get a lot fucking leaner. I'm seeing what the American people think of scientists, and about whether my job is worth doing. It's been a lean twelve years in this gig, okay? Every time the federal government gets fucked up, that impacts my job, it means that I have to hustle even harder to get grants in that let me support myself—and, if I have any trainees, their budding careers as well!—to patch over the lean times as much as we can.
So I've been reeling this week thinking about how funding agency priorities are going to change. I work on sex differences in motivation, so let me tell you, the politics reading this one for my next pitch are going to be fun. I'm working on a submission for an explicitly DEI-oriented five year grant with a cycle ending in February, so that's going to be an exercise in hoping that the agency employees at the middle levels (the ones that know how to get things done which can't be replaced immediately with yes men) can buffer the decisions of those big bosses long enough to let that program continue to exist a little while longer.
Ah, Christ, he promised Health & Human Services (which houses the NIH) to RFK, didn't he? We'll see how that pans out.
I keep seeing people calling for more governmental shutdowns on the left now, and it makes me want to scream. The government being gridlocked means the funding that researchers like me need doesn't come, okay? When the DOE can't say fucking "climate change," when the USDA hemorrhages its workers when the agency is dragged halfway across the country, when I watch a major Texan House rep stake his career on trying to destroy the NSF, I think: this is what you people think of us. I think: how little scientists are valued as public workers. Why am I working this hard again?
This is why I described voting as harm reduction. Even if two candidates are "the same" on one thing you care about, they probably aren't the same level of bad on everything. Your task is to figure out the best person to do the job. It's not about a fucking tribalist horse race. A vote is your opinion on a job interview, you fucks. We have to work with this person.
Anyway, I'm probably going to go back to shaking quietly in despair for a little longer and then pick myself up and hit the grind again. If I'm fast, I might still get the grant in this miserable climate if I run, and I might get to actually keep on what I'm trying to do, which is bring research on sex differences, neurodivergence and energy balance as informed by non-binary gender perspectives and disability theory to neuroscience.
Fuck.
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runningupthatvecna · 3 months ago
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get the peach(es)
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bestfriend!eddie munson x reader
it's the day after chrissy got vecna'd and you and the gang decide to check up on eddie at rick's. he's still in so much distress that you can't help but selflessly stay with your best friend (who you've been harboring a crush on for quite some time) and keep him company. 6k words, not proofread.
cw: the good old friends to lovers trope, eddie is an anxious bean who just needs to be held (by you, ideally), mutual (and not so secret at all) pining, i wrote this with fem!reader in mind (she/her pronouns) but can also be read as gn i guess, fluff, hurt/comfort (for eddie), pet names, mentions of chrissy's death, there shall be kisses and a lot of softness. nothing too explicit but minors are still advised to LEAVE
a/n: totally not self indulgent, that scene of him being so terrified in 4x02 ripped me to shreds so this is my fix-it attempt, trying to still my need to hold him and scratch his head. disclaimer: this piece of writing is based on the ending of that episode, meaning all credits for the setting go to the respective writers. sources to the header images here, here and here. lovely divider by saradika. ok thank you so much for reading byeeee love y'all <3
–––––
The overwhelming need to befriend the satanic metalhead found you at that party at the Wheeler house. You had almost said no to Nancy when she invited you, knowing damn well how the night would end. Steve passed out with a girl on his lap, Robin silently pining after Vickie from some corner of the room while clinging onto the red plastic cup in her hand, Jonathan getting higher than a kite with his old school mates, the younger kids asking you every five minutes if you could give them a ride since you usually were the one staying sober.
Additionally this time, there would be Eddie Munson. This familiar stranger Dustin, Mike and Lucas had met and somehow befriended over the last months, due to them joining his DnD club. "He might come off as a bit intimidating ... but I promise he's super chill and easy going!", Mike had tried to convince his sister, poking the tip of her shoulder repeatedly with a bunch of pleases during lunch break in the editing room of the school's newspaper. Until she rolled her eyes theatrically and agreed to let the ambiguous stranger, which the whole town collectively perceived as not really fitting in (and who you both certainly knew under the not so chill reputation he carried around), attend the celebratory events at Casa Wheeler. Occasion: Karen, Ted and their youngest leaving the house for more than one day, off on vacation.
You'd always kinda stayed out of his ways, used to observe his antics back at school with a silent laugh and this .. intrigue poking at your guts. To you he always stood out, and if anyone asked you'd be hesitant to admit it, but his willingness to go against the flow and not conform to the acceptable standards set by society was honestly impressive. And besides, surely this whole mysterious drug dealer rockstar image must just be a fassade and deep down he's just a dork, right?
His eyes follow you through the living room, an echo of your name crossing his mind repeatedly after having pulled Dustin into a corner for a brief interrogation. He finds it endearing how quickly and almost bashfully you look away every time your curious gaze meets his. As you redirect your focus to the conversation you're becoming engaged in, there's a soft smile creeping onto your lips. Little did he know it would soon start to haunt him in his dreams at night.
"Anything specific you're looking for?"
God, his voice. The close proximity invites your nose to inhale a mix of fresh cigarette smoke, bergamot and sandalwood, allowing you to sense what can only be him standing behind you as you skim through the cabinets of the Wheeler kitchen. You turn your head for your eyes to confirm your assumption and what they find is the deepest brown of round baby cow eyes they've ever met, up so much closer now. The paring of his gaze and plush smile somehow manages to dissolve every little prejudice you've been involuntarily harboring about him. Eddie Munson, the town's freak. Prime reason for the existence of the satanic panic. Drugs. And then you realise that you should probably do the polite thing and give him an answer. "Yeah uh, I was just trying to find the peach syrup", holding his gaze with a small lopsided smile, lost in its warmth which you wouldn't have dared to expect from it, before facing away from him again. He snorts a little, "peach syrup?", pauses to bring a thumb to his upper lip, lightly scratching the skin above as if to wipe something away, before he removes it again and the dimples appear around the corners of his mouth, "that is oddly specific." His response spreads a smile over your face, and the next thing he says widens it, "looks like you have taste though."
You move one step to the side, about to investigate the insides of the next cabinet, the kitchen itself almost empty of people with only three others chatting away in the corner across the island. He follows, undoubtedly trying to stay close, and the heat from the fire he just ignited somewhere inside of you rises to your cheeks. "Thanks, I really like peaches. Especially in my drinks. It adds a little ... kick to my sobriety", you explain, Eddie now quirks an amused eyebrow paired with a lopsided smile at you, and as you get to the last cabinet it dawns on you (and also Eddie) that this household severely lacks peach syrup. An atrocity. Thanks Ted.
After he helped you rummage through the entirety of the kitchen without success but under a lot of small talk, the metalhead vanishes from the function for an hour or so. At least that's what your brain concludes when your vision fails to spot him among the people who are in attendance. Maybe he's selling out of Nancy's bedroom. Maybe he's puking up his insides in the bathroom because he had too much of that weird beer he's been downing all night. Maybe he's banging some random girl in the bathroom upstairs. Or summoning a demon. Or both. At the same time. You once again try focusing your attention back to the conversation you are involved in. Munson already feels so dear to you that the lack of his presence is starting to form an ache in your heart. It's tugging on those strings with how much you already want him near you. Yeah. You're gonna be in trouble with this one.
And then he stumbles into the room from the direction of the front door, an event you're totally unable (and unwilling) to miss. He doesn't look like he just puked, nor sold a whole lot of the stash since you notice it still bulging out the left ass pocket of his black jeans. Instead, as he pushes past the small groups of people socialising – and towards you – while you notice a red net of round fruits dangling from his right hand, and you start to think that his disheveled hair and that rosy tint on his cheeks might actually not be from shagging either. He meets your gaze again as he approaches you with a grin and your heart dares to swell at his attentive gesture (you think you might as well pass away on the spot).
"Have some, peach."
It's not syrup, but you'll take them anyway. And with your next drink, you swallow down not only that peachy sweetness on your tongue, but also whatever this tingly feeling in your chest is.
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"Chchhrhch.."
Pause.
"Hey, uh– chrhchhr.."
Silence in your bedroom, the only thing illuminating the space is the moonlight softly falling through the window.
"Chrch– a-are you there?"
You stirr awake from dozing off in your bed, trying to piece together the information your senses are giving you.
Eyes gone dry, you have to blink a few times. Figure out which year it is and so on.
Confusion lies between the static crackle for a moment. That nap after your shift at the diner was necessary. God, you need to fucking quit.
"No I'm sure she'll pick right up, just– hey pleeease b-be awake, goddamn it!–"
Is it already past midnight?
You don't know and you can't tell, the clock on your nightstand still broken. What you do know though is that the familiar voice belongs to your friend Dustin and it's desperately trying to get ahold of you.
They must have found him.
"Dustin? I copy, where are you? What's going on?", you finally grab the device from the nightstand, fully awake and aware of your surroundings now.
You need to know. If he's okay.
There's that all too familiar instant tingle in your chest again, an ache that made itself familiar to you for the first time when he was introduced to you at the one and only Wheeler party several months ago. The dungeon master of Hawkins High's Hellfire club, the lead guitarist of Corroded Coffin and a super chill and easy going guy, to put it in Mike Wheeler's words.
What you didn't expect back then was your heart starting to develop that feeling, that tingle you'd always get to feel when you were in his presence, or like now, when his name is threatening to spill from your friend's lips on the other side of the connection at any moment.
"Aha! See? I told you she'd respond in no time."
You can practically feel Dustin's shit eating grin through the frequency, basking in being correct over Steve Harrington once again. It never gets old between these two.
"Oh my god", Steve's muffled voice is what you can make out vaguely from the off, he's probably palming his face.
"Dustin!", your voice disappears into the device, and your impatience grows with every passing second, hoping he gets the hint.
There's the sound of a door falling shut, leaves rustling under shoes, he must be outside now.
"Alright, okay yeah, so we found him at Rick's and he's really upset and he's been asking for you. I know it's late but can you meet us out here? And maybe, uh, stay with him?"
It's not even worth questioning. You're already wearing shoes. Your biggest hoodie in tow, you stumble into your kitchen with the intention to raid your own snack drawer. Pulling out Eddie's favourite, which you of course had stocked up on ever since hanging out with him at your place had become more of a weekly routine for the both of you.
Ten minutes, you told him. You'd be there in ten.
The drive feels like forever. The longest ten minutes of your life, you think.
You know the route like the back of your hand, having driven along the gravelly road leading from the last intersection before Hawkins' border to the outer world, to the serene woods surrounding Lover's Lake countless times. Eddie would take you here ever so often, for picnics, an occasional smoke after picking up a new delivery from Rick's, cloud or star gazing, listening to Metallica and Tears for Fears on Wayne's old walkman.
The gravel crunches underneath your white reeboks as they land on the ground. You close the door to your car as quietly as possible after you've taken out the bag and your hoodie.
Dustin and Steve are stood outside the boathouse, waving like madmen in the darkness once you come into their periphery.
The younger boy hugs you tightly.
"So glad you could make it", he gets out, the relief palpable through his voice as well as the grip he holds you in for a brief moment.
You look at them both after Steve presses you against him cordially, and breathe out through your nose, making your nostrils flare.
Dustin cracks open the case to you as he starts to ramble about the state in which they found your best friend, "well first he attacked Steve with a broken bottle, we had to put in great effort to convince him that we'd be on his side, and we came to the conclusion that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, basically."
What you want right now goes without saying. Everyone here knows how close you and Eddie are. As friends, of course. No one would think anything different.
Without wasting another second, the boys lead you inside where Max and Robin are knelt on the wooden floor. Heads turning towards the entrance of the room where you're now standing.
The sight of what's offered to your eyes, sitting opposite of them, breaks your heart.
You can see that he's slightly shivering, eyes glassy in the dim lit room. A small smile tugs at the corner of his lips though once his brain grasps your presence, and he can't help anymore but let the water fall once his eyes lock with yours.
The pain that is swimming in those two deep warm brown oceans hits you like a dagger to the chest. Over the months of being friends with him you'd seen him various different states, none of them comparable to this.
"Peach", his shaky voice announces your arrival and the sound of your nickname spilling from his lips cracks through your bones. The bag that's slung around your shoulder drops onto the wood with a dull thud.
Wobbly legs carry him towards you with a gentle shove past Robin and Max. You're once again reminded of your best friend's sheer physical strength as he wraps his arms around you, instantly burying his face into the crook of your neck.
One arm of your own sneaks around his torso, pressing him against you as tightly as your own strength allows you, while your other hand comes up to bury itself underneath the mane and to end up scratching soothingly over the scalp above the nape of his neck.
Eddie lets out a muffled sob, sniffling into the collar of the sweatshirt you threw on in a haste. He doesn't really want anyone to see him like this, certainly not Steve Harrington, so he clutches onto you so tightly that he thinks you might just feel his heavy heart beating anxiously against your chest.
And you do. How could you not with the amount of world he means to you? Like an automatism your other hand rubs slow circles over his back. Comforting him in the best way you could. Not a conscious decision you make.
"Okay so, m'not meaning to ruin the party, in fact I'd love to stay for another round of doom talk, but I really should get home soon, guys", Robin scratches the back of her head after she gets up from her huddled position next to the wooden crate Eddie had been sitting on. Max joins in and agrees, mumbling something about having to move her mom from being passed out on the couch again into her bed.
"Yeah me too, actually. My dad's gonna be fucking pissed. We'll see you tomorrow, yeah?", Steve's voice echoes through the room and you can tell he's already shoved Dustin back outside, itching to drive the kid home.
As Eddie processes having to stay in hiding, added the possibility of everyone leaving without him, his grip on you tightens even more.
"It's okay, Eds", you speak softly, head slightly tilted so your cheek rests on the dark frizzy mop you could call his hair. The skin on his neck and scalp so warm underneath your fingertips as you keep scratching it, emphasizing your presence, "I'll stay."
A soft muffled whimper is what you get as a response, and the way he lets you see him in this state melts your insides to a puddle.
You just need him to be okay.
They wave their goodbyes behind your back, accompanied by mumbles of "see you in the morning", and you can't even bring yourself to turn your head around, fully focused on making the young man in your arms less terrified of the world. A world he was sure was now going to come for him with all its force – in deep conviction of him being responsible for Chrissy's misfortunate end.
The door falls shut and Eddie muffles a quiet thank you into the fabric of your sweatshirt. The skin on your neck is damp with his tears, wet eyelashes tickling every time he blinks.
"It's okay, Eds", you softly keep repeating your words to him while continuously rubbing over the denim of his signature Dio vest in a slow motion, when he feels the urgency to claim the truth into the collar of your sweater about what has happened, "I– I didn't do it, I swear."
As if you would need any convincing.
"Oh no of course you didn't, I know that", you're looking for a way to ease the distress this entire situation is causing him, his quivering voice adding to your desire to soothe him to inner peace, "can I make a suggestion?"
Eddie nods with another sniffle against your collarbone, the round wet tip of his nose brushing against the column of your throat lightly. To his ears, your voice sounds like silk right about now.
"How about we head over to the main house and get ourselves a little more comfortable? Since we're gonna be here for a little longer? My god you probably haven't slept or eaten at all, have you?"
You can feel him nod his head again with a hum this time, and you start to think that the tears might not just be pouring because he just witnessed someone suffer a gruesome death right in front of him, but also due to physical exhaustion.
It makes your heart ache even more, that tingle still present, even more so now. It hurts to see your best friend hurt.
He just needs to be okay. And in that heart of yours there's that little spark of hope that leads you to believe you could be the one helping him with that.
You'd really want that. Be all his to find comfort in, to hold close, to kiss stupid
Stop.
A sigh escapes your lungs at the thought. That tingle, that longing, it's selfish. It familiarly pools in your belly and slowly drips downwards. You push your brain aside. This is about soothing your best friend now.
"C'mon then", you utter softly, encouraging him with your hand to lift his head from where it leans against your shoulder.
For your heart it's almost too much to look at, the hurt still swimming in the glassy big brown irises, his waterline red and puffy. The soft smile returning to his lips causes the wet apples of his cheeks to push up slightly, reflecting the dim light coming from the one torch Robin left you, placed on one of the crates.
He really hadn't been able to close an eye for a single second since he he'd gotten up for school the day prior.
You smile back at him almost bashfully as you slowly create space between your bodies.
Eddie is grateful that it's you who grabs his ringed hand next.
He squeezes yours, hoping to get the message of this meaning something to him across.
And he closely trails behind you as you lead the way.
The house feels empty, like no one's really been here in months. You'd never been inside. The few times you'd accompanied Eddie grabbing stash you'd stayed in his van, waiting. But as far as you now can make out in the darkness, there's a couch with knitted blankets, a little TV with a whole stack of VHS almost rising as high as the screen itself, spilled and spluttered empty cans and papers and wrappings littered all around. Maybe this is why he never let you come inside with him. Keeping you out of this definitely not sterile mess. Along with keeping you out of the business.
In the middle of the living room, you let go of his hand and shuffle one step away from him. He's inside now. Safe. Job done. Doesn't need physical contact. You shouldn't, he's your friend. You feel like something between you would break if you'd go there.
Eddie thinks otherwise, regarding close proximity at least. He promptly follows you into what you believe to be the kitchen where you hope you might find a tea bag or two. He comes up behind you and encases you in his arms as you rummage through the cabinets (feels familiar, hm?), not at all ready to say goodbye to the warmth of your body pressed against his own just yet.
You giggle at the silliness of him putting weight on you just to make it harder for you to reach into the cabinets. It's endearing. And very Eddie.
Twenty minutes later and there's two mugs – cleaned to your best ability – with steaming hot liquid on the sixties wooden coffee table. Next to them a plate filled with the almost equally hot insides of a ravioli in tomato sauce can. Thank Rick for a still functioning microwave.
You drape the knitted blankets over both you and Eddie as you settle into the cushions. The only light existent coming from two lit candles on said coffee table. It wouldn't be too wise setting up the torch you think.
The side of Eddie's face glows in the orange yellow, his wide brown bambi eyes dried after the first grand storm, and there's this tug on the corner of his pink plush lips again. He exchanged his leather jacket for the freshly washed hoodie for comfort and a small part of you hopes he doesn't spill his dinner onto any of it.
You lean back into the backrest of the worn out couch and watch as he eats, a domestic thing you've done a thousand times already, yet you still find comfort in knowing that he's nourishing himself.
Or well, in this case, inhaling the raviolis.
"Thank you Peach", he moves to put the empty plate back on the coffee table and it makes the spoon chink and glide along the edge, "I really needed this."
His voice is a little hoarse, probably from the emotions of the hours behind him. Maybe he has indeed calmed down a little. His hand moves down to your thigh, squeezing.
You give him the most empathetic smile you can bring yourself to display, painfully aware of the blaze that is transpiring through your leggings and seeping into your bones, "it's no big deal, really. I mean it is– uh, being there for you, is."
And he can't bring himself to look up at you. Instead, he stares at the empty plate on that coffee table in front of him.
"And to me as well. It really helps that you're here."
He doesn't bother moving the calloused warmth of his hand from the soft warmth of your thigh. It lights your entire nervous system on fire. In a good way.
And that's when you begin to wonder if everything that has just happened and is still happening right now changes anything.
"I'm so glad it does", is all you're able to get out.
Eddie decides that it's time to lean into your side and wrap his arms around your torso once again, drop his head back to its favourite place with a soft content little hum.
He just needs physical comfort. Of course. Just that. Nothing more, nothing else.
The words are redundant but your mouth articulates them anyway, "try to get some sleep, yeah?"
His back already lifts and falls evenly. You place your hand on the back of his head that rests in the crook of your neck again, scratching through the curls lightly, searching to help him shut off even deeper.
–––––
The candles have gone out by the time your eyelids slowly open. It takes you a moment to recall the location you fell asleep in, and you hope that the nightly darkness the whole room is now filled with hasn't invited any stranger to take advantage of your unconsciousness.
There's a warm hand holding your face, the pad of a thumb tracing over the apple of your cheek softly. It makes its way from the bridge of your nose to the outer corner of your eye, and back. And forth. And back. And forth.
You must have moved to lie down on your back in your sleep, with Eddie's weight still on your body, legs entangled. It's not the first time you've slept like this, there had been movie nights that had ended similarly.
His hand caressing your cheek though, yeah that is new. There's something unspoken in the air this time around. Your stomach is doing flip flops when you realise that he is propped up on his elbow, just .. looking at you. With eyes that don't require light to hint at whatever it is he is trying to say, or maybe not trying at all.
"Eds, what are you doing?", you ask almost in a whisper followed by a lopsided smile, expecting an unserious answer, because he always tends to make a joke whenever he tries to avoid conversing about emotions regarding his heart.
His thumb stops its acrobatics on your cheek, comes to a halt.
"I'm–", he takes a deep breath before he continues, "I'm just so grateful it's you that's here right now."
Your hand comes up to cup his. Brush over his rough knuckles with a thumb of your own. Enjoying the warmth that is seeping from his palm into your skin.
"Yeah, I figured you were gonna be a little opposed to spending the night with Harrington", you laugh, an attempt to turn your nerves into humour.
Eddie snorts a little, "yeah right, it's almost like you know me", he grins and pushes himself even closer to your face than he already is. It doesn't necessarily help in extinguishing the fire that's consuming you whole at this point.
"It's almost like we're best friends and I know what you think of him because every time Dustin or literally anyone else mentions his name around you, you're not necessarily secretive about it."
"Hey, my own worldview is not my fault, it's just– ... he just kinda seems like a douche of the highest order."
"He's quite alright, Eds. Try giving him a chance, I think he'd look great as Coffin's tambourinist."
He snorts again and you feel his breath on the column of your neck next when he dips his head down, nose pressing against the soft skin, his small giggle being swallowed by the collar of your sweatshirt.
Your favourite sound. Ever. Followed by the relieved moan Eddie lets out at the way your other hand is softly rubbing over his shoulder blade. The vibration against your neck makes you twitch as much as being pinned into the couch cushions by his body allows you.
It's soothing as much for you as it is for him.
When he lifts his head, the soft gaze he eyes you with is enough to let the goosebumps erupt. Even in the darkness of the room you can still make out those round buttons that could melt the entire north pole.
"Thank you, Peach, really. I'd be goin' mental right now and probably tryin' to counter that by smoking an equally mental amount of the stash I've been hiding here."
Your heart aches.
"I'm just glad I can be that kind of comfort to you, Eds. You don't have to go through whatever the fuck this is alone."
"I know I'm never gonna be alone as long as you are there."
You almost cry yourself now, his words making your hand travel from his own to his cheek, almost passing out from the way his eyes bore into your own once again.
Eddie isn't sure what it is that is making him feel lightheaded right now. The whole rollercoaster of events of the past hours. Or your words of affirmation. Or mayhaps it is your cute soft hand with that little ring on your thumb which is gently swiping over his damp skin.
That cute soft hand he'd been imagining countless times at night, silently yearning for your eyes to look at him differently, to finally see him in a different light the next time you'd hang out.
Probably a combination of just everything.
You reciprocate his soft half-lidded gaze, hand moving from his cheek to tuck some of his hair behind his left ear, revealing that delicate silver hoop earring you'd gifted to him for his birthday, after having talked your ear off about getting his ear pierced for literal months.
He'd insisted you join him for the appointment, "another metal moment for the books", as Eddie had called it, the need to have his hand held during the stab comically urgent in the way his voice sounded when he called you that day. And in the pace in which he picked you up.
"I'm here no matter what", you respond to his sentiment, that hand that brushed his hair away resting on the side of his neck while leaning the weight of your head into his palm that is still attached to your cheek.
Eddie's confidence reaches a new all time high with the admission of your unconditional support being stirred into the cocktail of hormones and emotions that's been circulating in his bloodstream for a generous amount of time now.
Because then he goes on by saying impossible things.
Impossible things with a slightly less platonic undertone.
"You're so fucking sweet, has anyone ever told you?"
You smile as you shake your head, heat rising to your cheeks once again and you're sure he won't be able to see just how flustered he's getting you (joke's on you he does).
You're also sure he's out of his mind for saying that. Now.
"A shame, honestly. You should scold your best friend for not telling you sooner. Tell him what a fucking idiot he is."
Eddie earns another giggle from you. Music to his ears. Better than Metallica. Okay maybe not but .. pretty fucking close.
"I'll let him know next time I see him", you say with a grin, playing along with pleasure, and you ask yourself why it is only now that you realise just how fucking close his face is to yours.
There is a moment of silence in which Eddie hesitates articulating whatever is seemingly bugging his mind.
"Do you, uh, still like him?"
If you lifted your head just a little your noses would be touching. A silly and utmost redundant question, and yet, Eddie dreads your answer. If the circumstances were different, less dystopian and tragic, you'd seriously wonder what would spark the doubt in your friendship in him, but considering that everyone else would be going to pour their judgement over him, you understand.
Every word exchanged between the two of you at this hour is soaked in mutual infatuation, something the idiots in both of you are slowly starting to fathom as well.
"Of course I do, he's everything to me."
As you say it, you can't help the grin which reappears reliably each time you finish verbalizing your thoughts. It's contagious, you notice.
"And do you think – just hypothetically of course", it's only then he breaks eye contact to clear his throat, "of course", you interrupt him still smiling and cocking an eyebrow at him, "d'ya think it would be okay for this best friend to, uh, maybe...", Eddie pauses, internally watching the ship containing his confidence set sail slowly and ultimately letting the irrational thoughts win for tonight, "would you let him..."
Eddie generally wasn't someone who lacked confidence. It showed in the way he boisterously wandered the halls of Hawkins High, the way his demeanor never changed, his mask never faltered no matter who was around. Except for you. You who he had always granted a look underneath the impulsive, extroverted surface.
"Eds", you try everything in your power to stay calm even though everything inside of you is screaming right now and you're certain you can feel your pulse in your earlobes.
"Would it be just insane of that best friend to kiss you right now?"
You want to squeal and kick your feet, pull him into your face, pinch your own forearm, pass away, leave the house and never return, and stay right where you are forever, buried underneath your favourite metalhead, the parts where your bodies are touching practically on fire, cosy and content.
Instead, the most fond smile spreads over your lips as you try to contain your internal overwhelm.
It's still dark, the only light source being the full moon outside. Eddie's so hopeful of your reciprocation and even more terrified of ruining his entire life at the same time, those deep doe eyes at this point pretty much resemble the shape of the space rock orbiting earth. Rejection from you, his pretty Peach and the Bonnie to his Clyde, would be unbearable.
"I think so," you almost whisper, the hand that's been rubbing over Eddie's back coming up to lightly trace one of his eyebrows with your index finger because you just can't seem to not touch him in some way, "but you should know that I love his insanity."
Your small giggle is being silenced by a soft and cautious kiss from Eddie Munson. Like he doesn't want to break you. Or he's afraid you'll snap out of a haze, slap him and leave if he starts kissing you like he really wants to.
And then it's you who goes for it, you feel at home, right where you belong, you don't think you've ever felt this good. The hand on his jaw tugs him closer softly, pressing your lips to his with a bit more urgency.
It gives him all the confirmation he could possibly need.
That tingle, it grows and fills up your chest and shoots through your entire being, goosebumps and all. Eddie moans and breathes against your lips, tongue dancing over the thin skin, asking for permission.
His ringed hand digs deeper and slowly moves to the nape of your neck, intending to hold you in place, afraid you could slip away from him if he didn't. This blossoming thing between you could slip away from him. If he didn't.
It's so soft, the way his lips touch yours, and before you know it they move to your cheek, to your jaw, down your neck before Eddie comes up again, smiling from ear to ear, to gently bump his nose against the tip of yours and his lips return home with a soft and deep hum escaping from his lungs into your mouth.
Relief floods his veins along with whatever it is you're doing to him. The ability to shut out the insanity of the past hours is what he so desperately wants to cling to for as long as you allow him, even if the dawn will remind him of the horrid reality he's involuntarily become subject to live through now.
"You're making things so much better, Peach, you're so sweet, so fucking cute, so fucking good for me, do you even know for how long I've been dreaming of this?"
Eddie greedily pulls your face into his again, not even giving you a chance to reply and not nearly getting enough of your affection it seems with how fervently his tongue searches for yours.
A gentle collision of skin.
The soft whimpers you let out only spur him on. You not backing away from him, staying with him, letting him be this close to you?
You, the only constant source of consolation Eddie's ever really had.
Life changing.
Soft touches follow soft touches, your thumb traces his jaw repeatedly.
"You don't–", kiss, "for how long–", kiss, "I've been dreaming–", kiss, "of you as well", you breathe against him and Eddie thinks he might be about to resort to sniffling into your collar again with the amount of relief he is experiencing.
You'd let him.
"Yeah?", he presses his nose into your cheek with his eyes closed, smiling from ear to ear, relaxing his entire body into yours as you let him slide inbetween your legs.
"Yeah, you know how much of a sucker I am for peaches", you grin, another peck to his cheek, his jaw, his neck, your hips slowly finding a rhythm against his own.
Eddie groans at your allusion with a wide grin on his face (and the feeling of your warmth against his dick), before pressing his lips against yours again lovingly, "me too baby, me too."
–––
taglist (thought you might be interested): @josephfakingquinn, @ghost-proofbaby, @analogkraken, @wroteclassicaly, @songforeddiemunson, @joejoequinnquinn, @somnambulic-thing, @trashmouth-richie, @eddddiemunson, @ceriseheaven, @userchai
comments, reblogs and other forms of affection towards the author are greatly appreciated thank youuuuu <3
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nataliesscatorccio · 2 years ago
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okay but here's the thing I can't shut up about. they would have been these people anyway!!!! tai did everything she said she was going to. jeff reminds shauna "secrets have always been a part of us." lottie has struggled with her mental health since childhood. shaunajackie fallout was always going to be nuclear whether it happened in the woods or at college. if van and natalie weren't stuck in the woods they'd be stuck with their parents or what was left of them. and everybody knows misty was already who she is. they could have taken any route and they would have ended up at the destination of themselves anyway. say they didn't crash, say they won nationals. it doesn't matter. it doesn't fucking matter!!! fast forward twenty-five years and the class reunion plays out more or less the same. they win nationals and misty is still a nurse playing god and natalie is still in rehab or maybe not because who would be paying for it so scratch that they win nationals and natalie is still dead, and shaunajackie are still swallowing each other whole. they win nationals and nothing singularly or uniquely terrible happens to them and they still grow up to be wracked with anger and guilt anyway! they're still unsatisfied, cheating on their spouses. they're still suicidal, still schizophrenic. terrible things still happen to them but they're commonplace terrible, so who cares? get over it. all this to say the self is inescapable. all this to say this life fucks you up no matter what. there was no other way for them, there was no other fate for them. there is no ideal life where they are perfect and good. the crash isn't the tragedy. the tragedy is that they all are who they are. they are human. they win nationals, and they still have to be these people. they have to be these people, but alone. the tragedy is that they think they could have been fine if they hadn't done such terrible things to survive after the crash. but they were never fine, they were never going to be fine, and that IS fine because neither was anyone else. "we're all like this." we were always going to be. and I don't mean it's a good thing they crashed. I mean it's all a crash. there is no unscathed life.
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libraryofgage · 1 year ago
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Steddie brainrot continues to worsen to a concerning degree but here's a crack idea that is absolutely sending me:
Famous Spicy Six in which Jonathon is a director who decides to work on a passion project: a Scooby-Doo movie. His ideal cast is as follows:
Nancy Wheeler (investigative journalist with a few special appearances on crime dramas) as Daphne Blake
Argyle (an actor with a habit of playing small parts; he acts only because he thinks it's fun, so he's not concerned with significant roles) as Shaggy Rogers
Robin Buckley (a well-known voice actor who is more well-known for her social media posts and clap-backs) as Velma Dinkley
Steve Harrington (basketball star who is also more well-known for his social media clap-backs and for being Corroded Coffin's number one fan) as Fred Jones
Eddie Munson (frontman for Corroded Coffin, an insanely popular metal/punk/rock band and "infamous" for unashamedly posting Steve Harrington thirst tweets) as the voice of Scooby-Doo
Corroded Coffin is also creating an entirely new, original soundtrack for the movie
And because I think it's funnier this way, this is also an AU where the Upside Down still happened, so Jonathon just calls his friends up and is like "Okay, so hear me out"
The absolute insanity that breaks out when both the movie and cast are announced because nobody can figure out how Jonathon managed to convince all these powerhouses to join his movie.
The further screaming online after one of the movie promo interviews where a reporter asks how they all agreed to the movie and Nancy hits them with, "Well, Jonathon asked, and he never asks for anything."
Which leads to the discovery that they all knew each other in high school, and the reporter jokingly asks if that means they've all dated each other, too, which leads to Eddie jumping in with absolute delight like, "Well, that's a funny story, there. See, Stevie here dated Nancy, who then dated Jonathon when they broke up, who then dated Argyle after they broke up. And I thought Stevie and Robin were dating, so I was very confused when I saw Robin and Nancy kissing. But then I found out that Robin was a true-blue lesbian, which meant Stevie here was open for the taking, and we've been banging ever since."
and Steve is just sitting there, head in his hands while Robin cackles and decides to tell the reporter all about Steve's "fuck I have a crush on Eddie" crisis
This interview, of course, leads to even more freaking out online and comments like "I know I asked for poly Scooby gang, but this is ridiculous," and "I can't believe that in this, the year of our lord 20xx, ScoobyXFreddy became a canon ship," and "if I had a nickel for every romantic relationship the Scooby gang actors have had with each other, I'd have five nickels, which is way more than any of us fucking expected to have," and "suddenly Eddie Munson's thirst tweets make a lot more sense, but can we talk about Steve Harrington's CC tweets now," and "everyone say thank you to Eddie Munson for revealing that mess of a relationship map," and "finally, the canon lesbian velma and daphne we deserve"
The movie is a box office hit, btw, and bloopers from filming roll with the credits, among which is Eddie Munson making Steve Harrington lose his shit laughing on set while dressed in a Scooby Doo onesie and singing Corroded Coffin songs with his Scooby Voice
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totothewolff · 7 months ago
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The Big Slip
+18 | one shot | Toto x reader | romance, smut, drama, pinning.
Summary: Your life as a struggling arts graduate in Monaco, coming from a working-class family who lives on the outskirts, is about to change. Toto Wolff enters your life not only by giving you the best sex ever but also by making you love somebody for the first time. Arranged marriages, a horrible breakup, and an induced coma, plus his terrible parents, were a complete surprise. Author's note: Get ready for a ride!
More Toto Wolff fics right here > Masterlist - Toto hasn't been to his parents for a couple of years.
His relationship with them has gotten, how do you say it politely? Problematic?
The older and more independent he gets, the more he notices the enormous pressure they have inflicted on him from a young age.
Being the firstborn in a blue-blooded, deep-pocketed family, carrying the Wolff last name around places an immense weight on his shoulders.
He is required to be the perfect son, the perfect student, the perfect gentleman, the perfect businessman, the perfect big brother, and the perfect heir.
"There's a lot on stake, Torger, not only millions," his father tells him at his massive and fancy in-home office. "You can't lose focus, this," he gestures with his finger around in a circular movement. "It will be all yours one day, and that," he points to a big and beautiful architectural model designed by Foster + Partners of their new offices and latest and giant factory based in Austria laying on the large meeting table made of expensive agarwood. "Will be yours to lead".
His dad isn't a normal one. Every time Toto gets called into his office, he feels nervous and timid, something that has never changed over the years.
His dad is a businessman first and a father second.
"Every choice you make matters, son. One day, you will become head of this family, an ambassador for our last name. Make us proud," he says, pouring himself and Toto a drink into a beautiful set of glasses. "Let's toast to that, to your future legacy."
He clinks his glass with Toto's.
-
Being an heir of the owners of the "Silver Wolff Mercedes F1 Racing Team" and "Wolff & Co." is supposed to be fun.
Being a part of that accelerated, fast-paced world full of excess, wealth, luxury, and stunning seductive women, a land with no limits.
Yet it isn't. It's a golden cage that people would give everything to get locked into, but it's still a cage.
-
"I'm moving to Monaco after graduation," Toto informs his father, again in his office, but years later, with all the courage he gained over the years, he feels ready to break those bars in his cage.
His parents sent him to study university at the LSE (London School of Economics), giving him a spoonful taste of freedom.
But he barely partied and slept around. He was required to be the perfect student, the top of the class, and the ideal college kid his parents could show off in social gatherings.
"Monaco?" the expression on his father's face is priceless.
"Yes. Water motorsports are on the rise. You know how much I love water! I could develop a racing team there, create a new branch for Silver Wolff, and enter the yacht market for Wolff & Co., handling it by myself."
"Before you return to your duty, the real one, this company, to Silver Wolff Mercedes. It will serve you as a pilot. Think of it as a five-year project."
"Yes, sir."
"Good," his father hugs him and kisses him on the cheek.
Toto feels proud of himself as he heads out of that office.
"Torger?" he turns around at his father, calling his name. "Don't lose focus."
-
What can you expect when you give total freedom to someone who hasn't tasted it before?
Parties, excess, women, all kinds and types of sex, alcohol, weed, everything, what he wanted, he had, he satiated all his appetites.
But at the end of the day, of the rush, he is alone.
Completely alone, with no real or deep relationship with anyone.
Toto built his life based on a "this is just a one-time thing only, a just-for-the-moment" philosophy, knowing that everything in his current life was temporary and that he isn't the actual owner of his life choices.
That's why he is not interested in building new friendships or having a girlfriend.
His real friends are his childhood friends, the kids of wealthy, upper-social-rank families his parents approved of and hung out with.
They are the ones who get him, who know what he is going through. And Obasi, his only real friend from college, Toto loves Obi.
Being the heir of a build-from-scratch empire of a Nigerian-rooted family that escaped the dictatorship, made it to England, and became incredibly successful is a burden more challenging than his.
Obi's parents expected him to make no mistakes, a margin of zero, and they had for him higher than the sky expectations.
-
The night is fully set in Monaco, and your boss gallery's lights illuminate the sidewalk as the prestigious Galerie d'Art 3816 is holding an exhibition.
Located on the famous Boulevard de la Croisette, it's buzzing as art lovers and collectors gather for the exclusive opening of "Lumière," a small but exquisite collection featuring an array of stunning paintings.
You worked your ass off to earn a spot and get featured, showcasing tonight two pieces as part of that exhibition, earning a well-deserved place.
With luck, a sponsor may see your work or art buyers will acquire them.
As guests enter the gallery, your boss greets them warmly and offers glasses of champagne.
The large room has white walls and a luxurious, polished grey marble floor. It's well-lit, and soft music plays in the background, creating an intimate atmosphere perfect for appreciating the displayed pieces.
-
As the evening goes on, champagne and canapés travel around while conversations flow freely.
At the same time, you attend the people interested in your paintings while some of your work colleagues sell and promote their own in their places.
Then your world spins around as you notice the tall guy, at least 6'2", whose presence seems to fill the room.
He is looking over the artworks on display one by one, his eyes lingering on each piece with an air of discernment.
His dark hair is styled perfectly, with a hint of messy charm, and the lighting in the gallery accentuates his sharp features.
The Greeks seemed to have carved his chiseled features, perfectly sharp jawline, and strong facial structure.
His suit, tailored to perfection, fit his broad shoulders and athletic build like a glove.
You can't help but feel a flutter in your chest as he moves towards you, his long strides eating up the distance between you.
"Oh! Mr. Wo-" Your boss tries to greet him. She approaches him in a rush, distracted by the other guests, without noticing when Toto enters.
"Mr. Bednarczyk, I'm Christian. It's nice to meet you," Toto lies to you, introducing himself, much to your boss's surprise, and cutting her off.
She plays along while he offers you a handshake and adds as you two lock eyes with each other, "Mr. Bednarczyk, we are glad you joined us." she says.
"That's unique," he points out, looking at the art in your painting, admiring every detail. Your boss takes this as a signal for her to leave you discuss.
Not before whispering to Toto's ear discreetly, "Christian Bednarczyk? Toto, what!?"
"My middle name and mom's maiden name. I don't want all the attention the Torger Wolff name drags around here."
He is right.
People in Monaco may not know what the Wolffs look like, but they have heard their last name and know what type of family they are.
What should have been a five-minute conversation between Toto and you lasted almost an hour.
You told him all about the meaning behind the painting, the techniques you used, your creative process, and more, feeling an instant connection with him.
A couple of other guests gather around to listen. In the end, a French businesswoman buys it.
-
"Happy for how it went?" Toto asks you.
"Yes! I sold the two paintings I got allowed to exhibit!" you answer as you do a little dance for him.
He looks only a few years older than you but seems full of youth and energy.
"So, now, can I buy you a drink?" he flirts with you.
"Yes, please." you feel your knees shaking.
-
Accepting his invitation to get some drinks results in a night of passion.
Toto's lips and teeth clash against yours, his tongue demanding entry. You part them, letting his tongue swirl around yours.
His hands roam your body, feeling your curves, then he squeezes your ass, pulling you closer to him.
You can feel his hardness pressed against you, and you reach for it; he groans, deep and guttural, his breath hot on your neck as he picks you up and carries you to the bed in a hotel room.
He lays you down gently, his hands cupping your breasts, his fingers teasing your nipples through the light fabric of your dress.
"Fuck, so sexy," he mutters, his voice full of desire. You arch your back, pressing yourself into his touch.
You are desperate for more, desperate for him. You could feel yourself getting wetter by the second, your body responding to his touches.
Toto's fingers work fast, pulling out your dress and exposing your undies before getting them out of the way. He groans as he takes in the sight of you fully naked, his eyes dark with lust.
"Beautiful," he whispers.
He leans down, taking your nipple into his mouth. You gasp as he teases it with his tongue, the sensation shooting straight to your core.
"You're fucking wet," he says, his hands now exploring your slick folds. You whimper as he circles your clit with his fingers, "I want to taste you," he states, his voice low.
You nod eagerly, unable to speak. Toto wastes no time.
He hooks your legs over his shoulders and dives between your thighs. His tongue is warm and wet, tracing a path up and down your slit.
You moan as he explors with his mouth, parting your folds, his breath warm against your clit.
You bite your lip as he flicks his tongue against it. The sensation is intense and immediate. Your hips buck as Toto sucks it.
"Oh my god," you moan, digging your nails in the sheets beneath you. You are so close already, your body coiling with need.
Toto's fingers slide inside you, and you moan even louder. He presses against your G-spot, and you feel an orgasm rising inside of you.
And then, just as you are about to explode, Toto pulls away. You let out a whimper of protest as you feel your orgasm fade away into nothingness.
But Toto isn't done with you yet. Not by a long shot.
"You taste so good," he moans as he crawls up your body, pressing his hard cock against you. "Do you want me inside of you?"
"Yes!" you answer while moaning as you feel his tip brush against your entrance. He is teasing you, and you love it.
You want him inside of you so badly it hurts. He pushes against you, inch by inch, until you are stretched around him, finally joined.
The feeling of his hard length filling you is indescribable, and you let out a gasp of pure ecstasy.
Toto thrust into you, his hips moving in rhythm. Each stroke brings a new burst of pleasure that almost brings you to your knees.
You grab onto his biceps to stay grounded.
Your moans become louder, more primal as he pounds you, sensing the pulse of his cock deep within you.
"Goddammit, Chris. Yes... yes..." you let out, your breaths becoming shallow gasps. Your muscles tremble with exertion, and sweat drips down your forehead.
You close your eyes, lost in the sensory overload, as he continues to thrust deep into you.
Your breasts are bouncing with each impact, and your heart is on the verge of exploding.
You are nearing the end but want to delay the inevitable for as long as possible. Savor every moment of this encounter.
"Tell me how it feels," Toto demands. "Good god, you're so tight, so fucking perfect." Toto murmurs, continuing to pump hard into you.
You let out tiny cries, knowing that you are close to cumming. "Goddamn, you feel so good inside me. Your body is pure perfection," you moan.
He shifts positions, his body dominating yours again, and you wrap your legs around his waist. His hands hold your hips, pulling you closer. He kisses you passionately as his pace quickens, bodies moving faster.
You can hear the wet sound of skin slapping together with each hard thrust. Your body quivers in delight, feeling his strong hands grip your hips tight.
The way Toto moves inside you is delicious. He moves deep, giving you long, slow strokes as he continues to kiss you passionately.
"I want to hear it all, every dirty little thought that goes through your mind. I want to feel you clench around my cock when you get what you want."
His words send a thrill down your spine, igniting a fire. You rock your hips harder against him as he continues to thrust, his movements becoming more urgent, more frantic.
"Oh, fuck yes. Yes, Chris. I want you to claim me, to make me yours. I want to feel every inch of your thick cock stretching me open."
"Fuck, Y/N. That's what I like to hear."
"God, yes!" you cry as he hits the right spot.
"Tell me you want it," his voice raw. "Tell me you want me to make you cum."
You look into his eyes, seeing the desire and urgency reflected there, his fingers digging into your flesh.
"Make me cum, baby," you stammer; you are so close.
Toto's expression changes at your words, and he looks more determined than ever to make you finish.
With a low growl, he increases his pace, his hips snapping against yours with animal urgency, taking your breath away.
Your hands go to Toto's ripped abs; you can feel his muscles flexing as he drives into you with fierce movements.
"God, yes," you pant, trying to hold on as best you can.
Toto's hips are a blur, his body moving with intensity you have never experienced before. Your hands tighten on his shoulders, your sweat-slick bodies slamming together.
"Fuck, I'm going to cum," you cry, your voice hoarse with pleasure. The orgasm is building.
Your whole body is trembling, and you can feel every inch of you tingling with anticipation. You sink your teeth into Toto's shoulder as he continues to pound hard into you.
"Yes, yes, YES!" you cry out, surrendering to the pleasure, giving yourself completely to him. The orgasm hits you suddenly, and you feel your body convulse, releasing.
You hear yourself yelling out his name as Toto keeps thrusting, mercifully prolonging your orgasm. His hips continue to snap into you as a guttural moan tears from deep from his throat as he comes too.
He moans so deliciously as he finishes, firm chest going up and down, you running your nails on it, as he recovers his breath.
-
"It was spectacular," you say the following day while sharing breakfast, looking at him with adoring eyes. Oh, the things he did to you were just wow.
"I totally agree." he gives you a cheeky smile.
"You seeing someone? Maybe we could..."
"Sorry, I can't. This was a one-time thing, sadly. I'm not looking for that, but I can give you my number if you want to be friends." Toto explains, looking at the dismay on your face.
"Sounds good, better than wiping you off from existence!" you chuckle.
-
And you two become "friends"!
"Friends" that text each other daily and hang out at any minute possible.
Who were you kidding?! FRIENDS?!
You are utterly into that man. And he seems also into you.
-
"Well, that was a complete failure." You sigh as you close the gallery.
Only eight people attended your personal art exhibition, and you did not sell a single piece.
Toto is carrying your stuff around in a box. You two cross the street to grab a seat on the pier, which overlooks the harbor and the sea, and hang out a bit more.
"You okay?" He bumps your arm with his, looking at your sad eyes.
"I want to make my parents feel proud of me. I know they haven't asked me for that. They only want me to be happy! But I know the effort they made to put me through college, and you know, I want to be successful so I can help them out so they don't have to work that hard anymore. They aren't that young," you answer.
Toto looks fondly at you and catches the single tear sliding down your cheek with his thumb finger before caressing your face tenderly.
"You are a good daughter. Even if your parents haven't asked you for anything, you feel a need to deliver. It will come! Don't get impatient! No one starts with instant success. Usually, there are a couple of years of struggle before it. Focus on what lies ahead."
"Why are you so smart?!" he smiles shyly at your question, his cheeks blushing. "Can I kiss you?" you come closer to his lips. "I know you told me we'd be friends only, but can we be of those friends who kiss each other?"
He laughs softly before claiming your lips in a passionate kiss. "I don't think those friends exist. I don't think those are called friends." Toto replies.
You laugh. "Damn, you got me!" and after a couple of minutes, you dare to ask. "What is it about me that doesn't convince you?"
"It's not, listen, ahem..."
"I'm single and have a boyfriend job opening right now. There is no need for an interview for you, in case you are interested," you invite him shyly, asking him to please date you.
To which Toto blushes and looks down at the floor.
There's a silence break in which you slowly take distance from him, returning to where you were sitting before kissing him.
"Can I change your mind?" you ask softly at his lack of reply, which sounds more like a plea.
He turns to look at you but doesn't say yes, which hurts you. He can see it in your watery eyes.
"It's getting late. So I bett-"
"Don't leave, please." He sounds earnest.
"Chris, I'm not sure I can only be your friend with these dumb feelings I have for you. I don't know how to be around you without wanting to be with you. I'm sorry."
"This amazing idea you made of me may be wrong. I'm not that ..."
"You are kind and fun. I love those dumb reaction faces you do," a small smile forms on your lips. "You are very gentlemanly, holding the doors open for me and standing up when I arrive. I have never seen that one before! Also, holding my hand on stairs and carrying my stuff around, you make me feel so special."
"Every time we talk, it feels meaningful. Gosh, I love sharing life with you. You are so full of great advice, you know?" you continue.
No one had shown Toto such earnest affection before, not so openly.
"I can be your life coach if you have that job offer available," Toto says. You can feel his eyes piercing your skin. He is looking at you with such intensity.
"I don't know. You, you feel too meaningful, this," you gesture with your finger between you, "Feels special. And let's not talk about all of this going on here," you move your hand around, gesturing to Toto's face and body. "All this tallness hotness stuff you got going and under gets even better," you quickly add, every word speaking faster. "Those things you did to me the other night, Jesus! We could, you know, repeat it sometime or many."
A huge smile forms on his lips before he relaxes again, watching you joke around.
"I really gotta leave, tho," you say.
"Can I at least drive you home?" his voice sounds slightly sad.
"Oh, hey, no worries, it's far. That's some gas you are going to spend. I can grab the transp-"
"Please"
"I live on the outskirts projects. Do you know where those are?"
His father's best friend's real estate company developed the units in those buildings. Of course, he knows where those are! "Yes, I have an idea, but you can guide us there."
"You sure?"
"Hundred percent"
-
It's a quiet ride at first.
"Gaga, really?"
"What?" he looks at you briefly before returning his eyes to the road as "Shallow" plays in the back.
"Are you a pop girlie?! That's... you know."
He starts laughing at your reaction, judging his music taste. "Unexpected?"
"Give me." You grab his phone from the car's cup holder on the central console.
"Password?" you ask.
"941123"
"Does it have a meaning?"
"It's a birthday."
"From who?"
"A girl"
"Oh," your mild jealousy showing.
"My sister's, not... there's no one else, so you know."
There's silence for a bit. So, you keep searching on Spotify for a song you like.
"Then, why not me? If there's no one else in your life," you ask before thinking, shit! It would be best to stop pushing him, but you can't.
He gives you no answer again, and things start to feel awkward for a few streets while Arctic Monkeys play in the back.
The streets of Monaco never look more attractive as you observe them through the car's window, not being able to look at Toto and feeling embarrassed. Rejections are uncomfortable.
"Do you have or had someone?" he asks, trying to regain your attention, feeling awful too.
"I had a boyfriend for years. He was my neighbor, and he still is, sort of, he moved a couple of buildings away. Let's say he forgot he was my boyfriend before having a new girlfriend. That's a cool photo on your locked screen! I have never skied, and those snow outfits always look so cool. So handsome, gorgeous smile. Turn left here and go all the way there. Oh, you went the other way, ahem."
"You said left; this is left," Toto informs you, side-eying you.
"Oh!" you smile at him. "It was to the right, then." You make a funny oopsie face.
You open the Apple Maps app and pin your address before passing him the phone at a red light.
"Okay, got it now." Toto gives you his phone back.
"Have I told you when I got "lost" downtown? My parents went crazy! It turns out I never left the street; I just went right thinking it was left."
"WHAT?!"
"Oh yeah, get comfy on your seat, Chris. The wackiest shit always happens to me," you tell Toto before sharing that memory with him.
-
When you finally arrive in your neighborhood, it takes you forever to get to your home because you keep telling him anecdotes and memories of things that happened to you in various spots.
Toto slows down the car, amused and more than engaged in the conversation.
"And on that sloping street we used to bike down! Oh, and on Charlotte's birthday - a girl that used to live in that house in that street - we went to slide down during her party held in their front garden, and I hit the sidewalk there and flew to the grass next to it. My dress got all green in the belly and chest, and I flashed the entire party with my Hello Kitty panties before my mom rushed to see if I was okay and pulled down my dress; well, at least the guests got to know me!" you two laugh heartfully. "And that's me." You point to a building.
Suddenly, your eyebrows frown, and a concerned look fills your face.
"You good?!" Toto asks you, worried.
"Why is my dad in PJs out in the street?!"
A big guy wearing no shirt, belly on full display, not a fit body at all, and pajama pants bottoms wearing sandals was in a rush walking around the street, looking for something.
Toto parks the car, and you get out of it quickly. He follows you.
On your way to your dad, you find your mom, also wearing pajamas, hair a mess, crying in your building's entry hallway.
You instantly hug her.
"I left the door open a second!, just to get the Amazon package inside! And "Chico" went off, he ran so fast down the stairs, we can't find him anywhere! It's my fault!"
You comfort her before getting all emotional, too, and scared for Chico's well-being. Your dog flew the house; he is tiny, old, and almost blind, which is not good.
-
After one hour of searching, your family, Toto, and some neighbors still haven't found Chico.
You turn around, all desperate, and bury yourself in Toto's chest, weeping, where he wraps you in his arms and comforts you, rubbing you.
"Let's keep looking. Chico must be near."
"What if he got run over?"
"Shh, don't think of that." Toto kisses your head and soothes you. "We will find him, okay?" He bends a bit to rub his nose against yours softly and gives you a couple of brief kisses.
Your parents witness it all.
-
Around two hours later, Toto goes exploring further away from the park again.
This time, he hears muffled dog cries in the distance, so he follows the sound to find Chico under some tall bushes in a neighbor's open yard.
His little leg got stuck between the big branches, so Toto rushes to get him out and leave before he gets in trouble.
He returns to your building with Chico in his arms, who looks even smaller in those muscular arms and is all dirty.
Your mom and you run to Toto and pat Chico before hugging the Austrian from both sides.
"Our girls' hero!" your dad approaches you all and tells the dog. Chico, don't scare us like that!" before addressing Toto. "Okay, let's go. I buy the beers. We still can catch some of the game." He pats Toto's arm, assuming he is your boyfriend.
"Let me see what I can make for dinner." your mom tells you.
"Go ahead," you ask them two, wanting to have a time alone with Toto.
"Please, give me a chance. I promise you won't regret me," you beg him.
He nods.
Toto can't keep ignoring his feelings for you, which is reckless, before you two kiss while leaning on Toto's black Mercedes car - the one he told you he got lucky to inherit from his late godfather - and while holding hands.
"Honey?!" your mom calls you from the window on the second floor. Your apartment faces the street and a small grass patch. "Can you go get some cheese?"
"And more beers!" you hear your parent scream from inside. You have that bad habit of doing that.
-
Your relationship feels like a dream. It's healthy, romantic, supporting, and spicy.
There are weeks you can't keep your hands off each other or your clothes on.
Everything is soft and tender between you, helping and supporting each other throughout the day's challenges.
You talk a lot, but he is pretty reserved. You respect that and hope that time and love will change it. You want him to feel secure and loved enough to open up.
-
Toto extends his visit, staying longer after his sister's baby's christening mass and gathering in Austria at their parent's state.
He loves his young sister more than anything in life.
He wanted to spend some time with her and her kids, who were also staying there, but as soon as they left their childhood home, he remembered why he had stayed away.
-
The following day, at the garden breakfast table, his parents bring up the always-expected topic: "Torger, my dear, your father and I are worried. It's been almost seven years since you left for Monaco, two more years that agreed."
"We need you around, son. I'm afraid you are falling behind on how to handle the business only with your brief appearances with the team and at the factory," his father adds.
"I have known how the business works perfectly since I was a child; that is all you taught me. Haven't I succeeded with the new assets I created?"
"Yes. Monaco has been a total success. But you made a promise, and a Wolff keeps them. Your duty is with Silver Wolff Mercedes and this family. Man up to it." his dad gives him the ultimatum.
"I know it, believe me. But fine, I will prepare everything for my return."
"When will this be?" his father asks, growing impatient at his current lack of control over his son.
"By the end of this year. It's time enough to handle our aquatic racing team to another team principal."
"Perfect," his dad looks pleased.
"There's also another subject we would like to discuss," his mom has the word again.
Okay, this one is unexpected.
"We can't keep avoiding the fact that you have reached an age to settle down with no proper prospects. We think we could help you with that departm-"
"Hold your horses there." Toto steps in.
"Did you interrupt your mother? Your manners also stayed in Monaco?" his father looks at him sternly.
His dad has this really angry-looking resting face, but he is actually quite easygoing and even goofy sometimes.
"Sorry, continue"
"Most of your friends got married the past few years, your cousins are all fathers now, and even your baby sister has welcomed her second child. It's time for you, too. The daughter of my friend Anya is a perfect and stunning fit. She has always liked you."
"I can get girls on my own, mom, thank you."
"Yes, of course you can! You are smart, successful, handsome, fit, and wealthy. What's not to like?!" His mom gives him a look.
"Then, the problem is?"
"That finding the fit for you is not that easy. You need a girl that matches everything listed before to be even."
God! Toto had forgotten how old school his parents are.
"We are arranging this for you," his dad informs him.
"Are you like for real?! Arranging for me a marriage? Oh! Man," Toto's expression is priceless.
"Why are you articulating like that?" his dad looks at him, not in a good mood anymore.
"Like a commoner!" his mom adds. "Didn't we give you higher education? What's on the water in Monaco? It's not doing you well."
Toto chuckles but does not answer. Spending time with you and your is showing.
"Well, it's not like your father and I precisely met on a cruise, didn't we? Our parents arranged it, yet we formed a successful marriage with wonderful children."
"Understood." Toto plays along with it, not feeling like fighting it. They were sort of right.
-
You go to a fancy restaurant for your one-year anniversary. Toto never lets you pay for anything, and you tell him several times it isn't necessary.
Monaco is expensive for the working class, and you know the struggle. You don't want him to feel that type of pressure on him.
You know he works as a coach on an aquatic racing team in town, which is not a high-salary job precisely.
But he insists, and any hint of you putting a fight tonight goes away the moment he picks you up wearing that fancy suit, looking unbelievably handsome.
You are left speechless, and he closes your mouth with a finger on your chin before kissing your lips and hand.
"Wow," he whispers to you while he looks you up. You are wearing a fancy, tight blue dress, all glam up. "I'm so lucky." Toto lets out.
-
During dinner, an "I love you" scapes your lips.
Toto gets saved by the bell in the form of a marriage proposal happening in the following table.
You two clap for the couple like the rest of the people at the tables surrounding them when she says yes.
When Toto turns around, he sees you looking at him in a way he wants to shoot himself.
What had he done!?
How could he have been so irresponsible?
He hates himself for being unable to say no to you from the beginning.
-
While you two make love passionately, you ask him while riding him, his dick filling you completely as you rock your hips eagerly, bouncing on him while holding hands and between moans that he stays forever.
-
Toto has a full-on panic attack in the bathroom of the hotel suite you went to spend your anniversary night while you peacefully sleep after fucking your brains off, not knowing what to do now.
You shouldn't be part of his life. This wasn't supposed to happen!
But the fear of losing you is equal to his fear of hurting you.
To confess is not an option. God! You will hate him when you discover the truth and that he lied to you about his life since the day you met him.
This Christian Bednarczyk is a facade that hides something worse, Toto Wolff.
-
"A what?!" Your parents and you all turn to look at him with a funny face, all situated at the outdoor table.
You went camping on a family trip for the weekend.
"What's with all those fancy words you say here and there?" your mom asks.
"Yeah, right? I also noticed!" you add, pointing.
"You went to one of those "big farts" schools?" your dad questions him while biting his steak.
"Baby, do you want something else?" you ask Toto as you continue placing food on the big plate in the middle of the table and still taking ribs from the grill.
"No, love, I'm so full!" Toto rubs his belly.
"We ate half a cow already." your dad colorfully adds, as usual, still a bit of food in his mouth.
Toto and your dad nod, recognizing themselves as guilty.
"I used to read a lot," Toto answers his question.
"That's from where your posh English comes from. Makes sense! Honey, pass Mr. Thesaurus here another beer?" your dad messes around and requests you.
Their relationship is as great as yours is.
Toto loves to hang out with your family. Sometimes, he is even at your parents' tiny apartment, where you still live, not yet able to afford a place of your own, when you are not.
Where they constantly and unintentionally embarrass you in front of him, creating lots of funny moments on both sides.
Your parents knew no shame, and Toto's out-of-touch secret silver spoon upbringing sometimes made him say and do things that made him look like he was from Mars. Not teasing him was impossible.
But all in good spirits!
-
It's Sunday morning.
Toto and your dad watch the race in the living room while you are in the kitchen sink, blending acrylic paints and listening to their funny, excited little screams.
They are both fans of the F1. As the race is in the final laps with a clear winner and they go to commercial break, Toto goes to the fridge for a can of Coca-Cola.
"Pss, pss," you grab his attention.
He turns to you to see you approaching him and softly pushing him to the broom closet; he puts no resistance.
"Yes?" he asks you suspiciously, standing beside a mop.
You steal a passionate kiss from him first, and as you pull away to catch your breaths, you explain.
"Mom and I are saving to get tickets to the race here in Monaco for dad as a birthday gift. Do you want to come? We plan to have breakfast at that seafood place he took us once."
"The one with the delicious baked coconut shrimp?"
"Yes, the one with the cook owner with a lazy eye."
"Captain Evil Eye"
You two invented a whole backstory in which that dude used to be a pirate in his prime.
"And then, off to the race! We plan on going all dress the same, you know, dad's team."
The idea of Toto showing up in Ferrari gear was hilarious. That man had poor taste in all senses, but especially in teams.
Actually, it was a great and iconic team, but their fierce rival was so it was an instant and natural despise.
"I would love to, but I'll be in Austria, remember? I plan on giving your dad his birthday gift before leaving."
"Oh, yeah, I forgot! Son of a Biscuit!"
"Yup!" Toto says it like you do.
"What are you two doing hiding there in the broom closet?!" Your dad says as he gives you THE LOOK, now standing before you, opening the door. "I would like to remind you, Chris, I'm a police officer and have my gun in that drawer," your dad messes around.
Toto raises both hands and gets out of there and away from you. "I didn't even touch her," he says while collecting his stuff and heading to the door. "Oh, but she did!" he jokes, quickly closing the door after him as your mom and you die of laughter.
"You better run!" your dad says aloud.
"See you at night! It's sushi night!" Toto screams from the street as you and Chico appear on the window.
"Have a great day, sweety!" your mom warmly screams Toto goodbye.
He was coaching today.
-
Toto hates to lie to you.
He did not travel to Austria. He is there at the race, but at the pitlane in his team's garage, away from the cameras, next to his dad running this thing.
The live coverage crew knows they can't shoot any of the Wolff family members, and they don't dare disobey, so there is no risk since you and your family are in a sector far far away.
-
By this point, Toto's family has been trying to arrange a marriage for him with his father's goddaughter for months. Her name is Emma. She is a lovely girl, but she is not you.
Toto's parents think they successfully brainwashed him into thinking he is old enough now to settle down and form a family.
Not only to keep the family's social rank and prestige but also to bear beautiful children with a gorgeous rich wife and grow the fortune of his future heirs.
Toto plays along with it, but he is no longer interested in anyone after being with you.
Be dating you is the best well-kept secret that he has held from his parents throughout his life.
Only Obi knows about you. He won't risk his other friends opening their mouths, spreading the rumor among the elites, and reaching his family.
-
There is no part of you Toto didn't explore, a corner of your body he didn't touch, or part of you he doesn't own.
-
On a Thursday after work, you meet Obi, Toto's roommate. Since they both share a tiny apartment without privacy, Toto never takes you there.
Obi is so handsome and tall, with a gorgeous smile and a sexy British accent; he looks like an African prince. He is super fun, light-spirited, and a clear best friend of your boyfriend.
Thanks to him, you get to know a bit more about Toto's life, well, about Chris's life.
They met in college.
"Two broke kids with crazy parents," Obi says among laughs.
Then you find out that Toto is not close with his parents, that's why he never mentions them.
-
You want to know why Toto's relationship with his parents got strangled. Maybe you can help to fix it.
When you ask the real questions, he dodges them, along with your requests to meet his family, even though he has met everyone relatively important in your life, even your dog!
-
A month passes, and Toto picks you up to go on a date, but you forget your paintbrush roll-up bag upstairs in the workshop, where you work above the gallery.
He offers to get it, and while you wait for him, you grab his phone to put your shared couple's playlist with songs both of you like.
Whenever you unlock his phone, it warms your heart. Toto changed his password to your birth date.
Amidst choosing a song, a text arrives from some "Emma,"
You aren't toxic, not one of those people who routinely nose in their partner's phones, but this one makes your jealousy monster come out.
Why is this girl calling him "my love"?
God, you wish you hadn't opened that conversation.
-
As Toto opens the door to get back inside the car, he gets welcomed by you, holding his phone and looking mad before asking him:
"Whose Emma?"
FUCK!
TORGER YOU FUCKING IDIOT!
FUCK!
-
"Let me explain to you, please."
Tears are filling your eyes.
"Wait, not, please don't do that, don't cry," he looks desperate.
Then, you finally discover he has been seeing another woman for potential nuptials due to his parent's idea of arranging his marriage. You are a secret he has kept from them.
"So all this time, I was the "meanwhile," an entertainment for when the real one arrived." you sound so hurt and bitter.
"Don't say that." Toto looks anguished.
"That's why you didn't say it back."
"What?" he asks.
"When I told you I love you,"
"I hate myself more than you can imagine for hurting you like this. I didn't plan for any of this! It happened, and I couldn't be more grateful to have you in my life. You have no idea how much you have healed me. I was completely lost before you, and I don't want to break your heart..."
"Too late for that! Thank you, asshole, for exploding it into pieces." you interrupt him. "I will help you and your parents with that; I'm going to stay the fuck away of your life. I'm a fucking idiot!"
"I'm the fucking idiot here, for not being honest with you, for the lies, for everything. Please forgive! Don't leave me," Toto is begging for his life.
"Does the sorry for everything part also involve me?!" tears are everywhere on your face, but rage is starting to show, too.
"For hurting you! Do you think I regret any of this?! That I regret us!?! You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me!" Toto confesses now in a loud voice, too heated.
"Yet not great enough apparently to put an end to that shit circus going on with your family. If you truly loved me, you would fight for me, for us."
"Y/N, you don't know them..." Toto barely murmurs.
"Wrong answer," you say, lips trembling, before exiting the car and slamming the door.
Every step you take away from him kills you. You are so disheveled that you can't even show up to your parents.
-
As the weeks go by, you still look like a depressed mess, a shell of a person living life.
Not wanting to leave the bed, shower, eat, or go out.
Your mom and dad are distraught. Your dad even suggests you go to "the looney."
God, he tries! But that is how concerned he is.
It is clear to them that Toto and you broke up, and they are sad about it, too. They considered him part of the family, but there isn't a clear explanation yet.
To touch the subject with you is impossible, so they cease.
-
Time plus painting helps you heal, and your art becomes more edgy and moody, which sells well. At least a positive outcome of this!
You blocked Toto out of your life. And you are still trying to erase him from your mind, heart, and body.
-
Five months have passed since you two broke up when a call comes from an unlisted number.
You answer your phone a bit dubious.
"Miss Y/N Y/LN?" the voice of a professional-sounding woman answers.
"Yes, who's speaking?"
"I am contacting you from the front desk of the ER at Princess Grace Hospital here in Monaco" Fuck! Something happened to your parents! You start to panic. "On behalf of Dr. Gastaud, you appear listed as Mr. Torger Wolff's emergency contact. He is curre-"
"Oh, wrong number, then. I don't know that person." You feel a brief sense of relief.
"Oh? But all your information is on our system. Are you sure you don't know patient Torger Christian Wolff Bednarczyk?"
"Christian! Yes, of course, is he okay!?" you feel your heart in your throat.
"We just moved him to intensive care. We need you here as soon as possible." She sounds so calm in comparison to you.
"I'm on my way!"
-
As the male nurse rushes Toto's IC bed across the doors, the doctor explains to you as you two walk alongside it at the same pace.
"Apparently, he was on the deck of his yacht where he slipped and hit his head. His staff brought him here."
His yacht? His staff?! What?!
"The blood tests showed a high ingest of alcohol in his system." The doctor continues.
But Chris doesn't drink like that! He barely likes beers. Why?!
"He hit his head against the yacht's railing and has lost a lot of blood; according to the x-rays and the MRI, his brain is a bit swollen, and his arm got broken. I need your approval, miss."
The doctor stops for a second, grabbing the clipboard at the end of Toto's bed, next to his feet.
"What for?!"
"To induce him into a coma," the doctor answers.
You feel like fainting.
"I, I, I..." you are entering a state of shock that the doctor immediately recognizes as being used to dealing with those.
"Miss Y/LN," he snaps his fingers, getting you back. "We are losing time. It's the best option to stabilize and prevent him from leaving us. Do you approve of it?" The doctor shoves the clipboard to you.
"Yes," you feel your soul leaving your body.
"Sign here and wait there. It's going to take time," the doctor informs you.
-
You notify your parents about the situation. They immediately come to the hospital to join you while you wait for Toto's procedure to finish.
"We brought you dinner," your mom sweetly mentions.
"Thank you, mom, but I'm not hungry. Actually, I threw up a bit ago," you confess.
"Let's pray, then." your mom grabs your shaky hands.
-
After it gets done, they move Toto to an intensive care room; tons of tubes, cables, and saline and meds bags get plugged into him.
This is and looks like a nightmare.
It feels so wrong for you two to reunite like this since you called it quits.
Then, as the hurtful memory of that day hits you back, an even worse crosses your mind.
His parents. They need to know! Do they know already? Did they get notified, too?
-
Around 3 a.m., you gather the energy to go to the front desk. Your mom stayed with you at the hospital to spend the night. She will look over Toto as you investigate.
This room and the whole private area look expensive. It would be best to ask about Toto's insurance and the bills here. You are already worrying about how he is going to pay for it. You have some savings he could use if needed.
-
"Hi, miss. Did Mr. Wolff's parents get notified, too?" you ask the lady who called you.
"We only notify the people on his emergency contact list; you were the only one registered there," she explains.
"Oh..."
"But you can contact his insurance agent. They usually notify the patient's family. Personally, I never rely on the insurance people; sometimes they are the worst," she whispers to you, hiding behind her palm.
You look at her with a blank expression.
"Would you like the phone number to call?" she looks at you, a bit confused.
Why would you ask her for all this essential information about your husband? He registered you as his wife on the list.
Only if she knew.
She prints a sheet of paper and underlines some numbers with her blue pen.
"Thank you so much."
-
After a lengthy exchange with the insurance people and many revelations you didn't see coming, you obtain the number of Toto's father's office.
They indeed live in Austria. Toto's insurance covers him up to millions, a shocking amount, and the "Wolffs" are an important family you should know about.
You check on Google if it's a suitable hour to call Austria before remembering this is an emergency.
Toto appears stable, but he is not progressing as the doctor hoped. There is still not much brain activity on the damaged part.
You gain the courage to hit the call button after going over and over about how to introduce yourself and explain what is happening.
-
"Miss Y/N, hold in the line for a second. Thank you," Toto's father's beautiful assistant, sitting at her desk, tells you as she pushes a button on the intercom while holding the phone between her ear and shoulder.
"Mr. Wolff! I have a girl on the line who says she is your son's girlfriend. She needs to inform you something about Toto. It sounds important."
Emma?! Did Torger propose to her? His dad thinks. "Yes, communicate her."
His dad picks up the phone.
"Emma? Good afternoon, dear. How can I help you?"
So Toto is still with her?
"Good night, Mr. Wolff," your voice takes him by surprise. "I'm Y/N Y/LN. Your son is in intensive care at Princess Grace Hospital here in Monaco. We don't know how, but he slipped on a yacht deck, hitting his head with the railing. The hospital notified me, so I came as quickly as possible."
"How is my son doing? Please send all the information to my assistant's number. We will arrive there soon." He sounds genuinely concerned.
"He is stable, sir," you feel your voice cracking. "But he is not progressing as the doctors expected."
"What doctors? I need the names and the medical records sent to me. We would go through them on the jet on our way there. We have many top-tier medical professionals on call."
"Ahem, give me a second. I'm searching for the full names," you say as you ask your mom to pass you some papers. Mr. Wolff hears other voices around you.
"Is this a scam?!" he sounds mad now.
"Sorry?"
"Whose there?"
"My mom"
"I have no idea who any of you are or why my son is in there with you. Hold," he pushes a button and asks his assistant to contact Torger.
No answer, she tries again.
"Could you tell Mr. Wolff to keep the conversation on the other line?" you answer from Toto's phone.
The nurse just handed you a bag with the belongings Toto was admitted with at the hospital just a second ago. His bloodstained clothes disturbed you deeply.
This would have been very helpful hours before.
It turns out his phone is still on, and Toto hasn't changed his password.
"Mr. Wolff, why would I be joking with something as serious as this?"
"It's unexpected news."
"For all of us, I asked the nurse for the medical records. I already sent the doctor's names to your assistant."
"Is my son heavily medicated, resting, or is he able to talk to us?" Toto's mom is also present and listening through the speaker.
"He is in a coma."
-
"WHO PERMITTED YOU TO INDUCE MY SON INTO A COMA! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? ARE YOU AWARE HOW DANGEROUS IT IS? THE MINIMAL MISTAKE COULD DAMAGE HIM FOR LIFE IF NOT KILL HIM."
You can hear the screams coming from inside as Mr. Wolff is at a reunion with the doctors.
Your parents and you are sitting on one side of the narrow hallway, and Toto's mom is on the other, right in front of you, without talking to you.
Toto is getting "showered" by the nurse, and you all leave the room to give him privacy.
His mom is so beautiful and well-dressed that you feel almost ashamed of how you look at the moment, but those were the clothes you were wearing when they gave you the news. You haven't left the hospital for a second.
"Mom, could you please bring me some fresh clothes and my things."
"But honey, we don't want to leave you alone."
"No worries, Mr. and Mrs. Wolff are here, too."
"Are you sure?" she asks, concerned because they don't appear particularly friendly toward any of you.
You nod.
"We'll return faster than a kid getting chased by a dog," your dad says, waving and loudly addressing Mrs. Wolff. She scrutinizes him and slightly nods.
After some minutes alone, she asks you.
"Why brought him to this cheap hospital?" she looks around, not pleased with what she sees.
"It's near the harbor where his yacht apparently is."
"Young lady, if you had any involvement in his accident, you should speak right now; our detectives will conduct an investigation."
"Detectives?"
"Well, our son is worth millions, and our family billions, and you, out of nowhere, appeared as his emergency contact, also as his caretaker and the primary beneficiary in case something happens to him." she says, her eyes piercing brown eyes looking into your soul. Toto added you some months ago without telling you anything. "And suddenly, this happens."
"WHAT?!" Okay, this is just not real. "I wasn't even there when it happened, and I had no idea about everything you mentioned."
-
Toto's parents want you out of the picture as soon as possible. Now it's clear to them you are the reason why Toto keeps pushing away his engagement with Emma.
They act cold to you and yours. However, the hospital and doctors allow you to stay and partake in life decision-making regarding him and the procedures he needs since you are also Toto's legal caretaker, much to their dislike.
-
"How much?" his father catches you off guard one afternoon.
"Pardon?"
"How much money do you want to stay away?"
"I'm not here for any of that. Please don't ask me that again; it's insulting," you warn Toto's dad, not letting you be intimidated by him and holding his stare.
This surprises them and earns you some of their respect.
-
Your life becomes being by Toto's side at the hospital, swallowing your social life, job, and income.
Toto's parents listen to the call in which your boss, against all her will, has no other remedy to fire you. You take it easy before returning to shaving Toto's beard tenderly and fixing his hair with a comb.
A brief, empathetic look crosses Toto's mom's eyes.
-
Still, your parents support you, knowing how much this and he means to you, yet unsure why you two ended things up since you both seemed so in love.
-
You remain silent under Toto's parents' continuous demands to know all about your relationship, current status, and details.
"Did you were sleeping around with our son?" his mom asks.
"We were in love and were in a relationship."
You refuse to speak more than that about it because it is personal, it's none of their business, and it also still hurts, and you don't want to give them the pleasure.
-
One day, they arrive with Emma; that girl is stunning and as classy and elegant as them.
She rushes in and places herself on the side of Toto's IC bed before tenderly caressing his cheeks and kissing his lips.
All in front of you, inside, you want to smack her away from him, but you know she is in no way responsible for this situation; she was dragged into this mess, too.
You remain quiet, watching it unfold before you. To Toto's parents' surprise, they expected a big drama.
-
After she leaves, they talk to you, explaining why they believe Emma is a better fit for Toto than you in all aspects and that if you love their son, you should step aside since you and your family don't belong with their kind.
-
A couple of days later, Toto undergoes another surgery but fails to stabilize.
Doctors are unable to make more progress with him, so his father ponders moving Toto to a better hospital in Austria or Switzerland after finding a legal grey area in the caretaker clause, which sends you into a frenzy and full panic that they take Toto away.
"Moving him is a risk, a gamble," you warn them.
"We don't see enough progress here."
"And over there would be any different? They can assure you that?" you ask.
"No, they can't."
-
That idea doesn't materialize anyway because, throughout that night, Toto's condition gets worse, and you all learn he could die.
That causes you to enter into the worst depressive mood you have ever had and look significantly affected in the eyes of Toto's parents.
This raises questions in their mind that you might be more than a side chick and your connection more profound than just sex and financial interest, as you claimed several times, to their disbelief.
-
Toto needs to undergo a risky procedure. There's a tiny chance of survival, but a speedy and total recovery awaits him if he does.
Your family and his gather to say goodbye as Toto gets moved at the doors leading to the operation room.
You don't know what to say. You're full of fear, so your dad goes first.
"Hey, big guy, once you told us you were strong enough, with those big arms of yours, to take down John Cena, I'm sure you will be strong enough to tackle this down," you and your parents chuckle at the inner joke.
The three of you remember that day you all got in the new furniture up the stairs.
You laugh until your laughter quickly turns to tears, and you break down for the first time. Your dad hugs you tightly.
"He loves you so much, enough to not run away from you and us after that day!" your mom adds, looking at you with a tiny smile. "You can do this, sweetie." she grabs Toto's hand and addresses him.
You are a total mess when you get close to him. You rest your temple in his. "Please don't leave me, please; I love you, Torger," you beg him, using this name for the first time.
Toto's family observes you say goodbye, giving you the space to it.
Before they come closer to kissing his son's forehead, "We love you, and we'll see you soon."
-
He survives, Toto is out of risk, and he is in excellent condition for a transfer to another hospital.
So you make a deal with his parents to not take him away from you.
They will allow Toto to remain at this hospital and you to be by his side till he finishes recovering fully.
But after that, you will be out of his life for good.
-
Two weeks later, Toto's health improves, bringing him out of the coma.
-
Toto's vision is blurry. His eyes cannot focus well, and the light hurts him a lot. He also hears a loud whistle in his ears.
He thinks he hears people say, "He's baiting his eyes." "Yes, he is opening them."
He rubs the palm of his right hand against his face, closing his eyes again before being able to focus more. Shapes become more precise as he turns his head to the side and sees you.
"Y/N?" his voice sounds so rough and crackly.
"Hi," you let out in a cry.
He reaches your face with his hand, touching around, not seeing you well.
Toto feels dizzy and confused. "I wanted to make sure you were real this time," he closes his eyes for a second and exhales. "I v o," he murmurs.
"Sorry?" you ask.
"I love you," says louder. Toto thinks he sees your big smile. "Love of my life," he adds, staring at you.
"Hi, son," he hears his father's voice on the other side of his face.
"Dad?"
He feels his hand on his.
"Welcome back," his mom squeezes his arm and holds it tight.
"What?" he is so confused.
Before the accident starts coming back to him, he tries to pull himself up, but his head hurts a lot, no strength at all.
"Easy, easy," you rush to aid him when the nurses and doctor enter.
-
"How are those Bambi legs doing?" you ask in a brief imitation movement as you greet Toto, to his amusement.
"Look at these tighs, stronger than ever," he jokes back.
"Strong enough to choke out John Cena?" your dad asks him, joining the fun and giving him a friendly shake.
"How are you, sweetie pie?" your mom greets him.
"Feeling better, the headaches are getting less intense."
His parents watch you interact, still not mingling, but not as judgy as once they were.
His recovery therapy has been a long journey. Most of his damage showed up in his physical motor skills, so there were lots of sessions on walking, coordination, and more.
You have been by his side every second of it.
-
During his remaining and final weeks at the hospital, his parents see Toto behave as they had never seen him before. He looks so happy, full of life, and in love.
They also notice how well you take care of him and his recovery.
The soft touches you two share and the looks you exchange show undeniable affection and love.
-
When he finally leaves the hospital, he holds a small dinner to celebrate and thank you for all your support.
It's your first time visiting his apartment. He never lived with Obi, and it turns out that guy is even richer than him.
It's a penthouse luxurious as fuck.
There is a lot of food and drinks, and everyone looks so happy, everyone but you.
You know that tonight is the night you say goodbye to him. His parents give you a hint that this is the moment for you to stay true to your word.
So, after everyone leaves, Toto approaches you on the balcony.
"It's a sick view!" you softly say, feeling the sea's breeze on your face as you admire the panorama.
"I kind of miss Ms. Telbot's awful curtains," he says, referring to the neighbor across the street from your parent's place.
"Oh! She got new ones! They are even worse!"
You two share a laugh.
"Could you give me a second chance? I promise you I won't disappoint you." Toto asks you. He looks at you in a way that makes you want to throw yourself into his arms and for him to take you straight to his bed, but you can't.
"I'm sorry. It's best this way," you barely whisper.
"I know I hurt you a lot, and I screwed things up, but please, allow me to fix it." he looks hopeless.
"It's not that. I now get the full picture and understand why you made those choices. You belong with someone who suits you and your life better. It's going to make everything easier for you. I respected your choice, and I hope you respect mine," you say with conviction while trying to hold back your tears and eat your feelings.
"Why this feels like a goodbye?" he asks, choking up.
"Because it is. You are the best thing that ever happened in my life, too, and I'm so happy we made it through that and that you are still here. You deserve an amazing life; we both do, but we are not made for each other."
-
As the Wolff family jet leaves Monaco the following day, Toto looks out the window while crying in silence, tears flowing down his face.
His parents exchange looks, feeling the guilt.
-
A week later, as Toto finishes the recovery exercises he still needs to do, his dad checks on him; Toto has looked like a complete mess since they arrived.
"Emma wants to see you. She is being insistent. It could also be good for you, some company and warmth."
"Who?" he looks confused for a second. "Oh, yeah, the Rothschilds girl, yeah, dad, I'm, my head is hurting a lot today, maybe tomorrow."
His dad nods before leaving, knowing it wasn't a time to push him.
-
A month passes, and Toto hears a couple of knocks on his childhood room's enormous, regal wood door, where he is staying for the moment, as he finishes fixing his tie.
They were expecting the Rothschilds over for a "special dinner."
"This ring belonged to your grandma, then to my mother, then to me, and now it belongs to you," his mom says, giving him the vintage red velvet box.
Toto looks at it, leaving a big sigh to escape his lips, and unenthusiasticly nods. He seems beyond resigned.
-
As they wait for their guests to arrive at the Wolff state, sitting on the elegantly set garden table, Toto looks miserable. He is there, but he indeed isn't.
"You are feeling this way because of Y/N?" his mom asks him, not being able to see his son suffering a minute more.
Toto's eyes go up at the mention of your name. "It doesn't matter anymore anyway."
"Why?" his father asks.
"She didn't have me back. She wants me out of her life."
"That's not true," his mom adds.
"Excuse me, but how could you know that?"
"We may have made a mistake," she confesses, looking sad and guilty.
"What do you mean?"
"We judge her poorly. Her family is something peculiar, the father..." she puts a face. "But the love she feels for you is undeniable. You know she never left your side at the hospital? Not even a second."
"She lived in there. She even lost her job," Toto's dad explains.
"WHAT?!" Toto looks now concerned. That was your only source of income! "Wait, what did you do?!" now he looks mad.
"We did what we thought was best for our son, but it wasn't."
"What did you do?!" he sounds so severe right now.
"We... found a grey area... in the caretaker clause, so we thought it was best for us to transfer you to a hospital here in Austria, where we could look after you."
"Away from her." Toto sounds judgy, eyes piercing them.
"Yes, so, she, we, made a deal," his mom continues explaining. "She would stay out of your life after it if we let you stay there until she saw you leave the hospital fully recovered."
"That's why those words didn't sound like hers that night. How could you do that to me, to us?!" he sounds resentful.
"Because we didn't know Y/N and had no idea how strong that bond between you truly was. Her love for you is indisputable." His dad tells him.
"She never cracked under our pressure; she fought hard and fair and did an amazing job caring for you." He continues. "It's our fault, and we are deeply sorry."
For Toto's dad to apologize and for his mom to look this ashamed it was something so significant and never seen.
"So now what?! Emma and her parents will be here any minute." Toto says.
"Only if you had a jet waiting for you to leave for Monaco," his dad expresses, winking an eye.
"Only if you had a ring to offer to Y/N," his mom tells Toto, raising her eyebrows and tilting her head.
-
You arrive at the gallery, finally back at your job, and glad your boss hired you again! You are so excited to paint in the workshop.
You finish pushing the door, which is already slightly open. Someone must have arrived early, too, but the place is empty, to your surprise.
You don't think much of it. You go straight to the easel with your name on it, pull out all your brushes and materials from your bag, and remove the dust white sheet on top of the empty canvas.
You look perplexed as you read the freshly brush-painted letters on it: "Will you marry me?"
"I found the truth," Toto's voice makes you jump slightly.
You turn around to watch him smile big at you with adoring sparkling eyes before you answer his question.
"Yes"
- More Toto Wolff fics right here > Masterlist
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drdemonprince · 11 months ago
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I don't think I have it in me to be an abolitionist because I read that horrible story about the trans teen murdered in South Carolina and my knee jerk reaction is, those people should rot in jail, ideally forever, or worse. No matter how I look at it I can't make myself okay with the idea that you should be allowed to steal someone's life in such a horrible way and then just go back to enjoying your life. Some stuff is just too over the top evil.
You can have whatever emotions you want about that person's murderous actions, but the reality is that the carceral justice system is one of the largest sources of physical, emotional, and sexual torment for transgender people on this planet.
Transgender people are ten times more likely to be assaulted by a fellow inmate and five times more likely to be assaulted by a corrections officer, according to a National Center for Transgender Equality Report.
Within the prison system, transgender people are frequently denied gender-affirming medical care, and housed in populations that do not match their identity, which increases their odds of being beaten and sexually assaulted.
The alternative to being incorrectly housed with the wrong gendered population is that transgender people are also frequently held in solitary confinement instead, often for far longer periods on average than their non-transgender peers, contributing to them experiencing suicide ideation, self harm, acute physiological distress, a shrunk hippocampus, muscculoskeletal pain, chronic condition flare-ups, heart disease, reduced muscle tone, and numerous other proven effects of solitary confinement.
The prison system is also one of the largest sites of completely unmitigated COVID spread, among other illnesses, with over 640,000 cases being directly linked to prison exposure, according to the COVID prison project.
We know that number is rampantly under-estimated because prisoners, especially trans ones, are frequently denied medical care. And even basic, essential physical care. Just last year a 27-year-old Black man named Lason Butler was found dead in his cell, having perished of dehydration. He had been kept in a cell without running water for two weeks, where he rapidly lost 40 pounds before perishing. His body was covered in rat bites.
This kind of treatment is unacceptable for anyone, no matter who they are and what they have done, and I shouldn't have to explicitly connect the dots for you, but I will. One in six transgender people has been to prison, according to Lambda Legal. One in every TWO Black transgender people has been to prison. One in five Black men go to prison in America.
THIS is the fate you are consigning all these people to when you say that prisons must exist because there are really really bad people out in the world. We should all know by not that this is not how the carceral justice system works. Hate crime laws are under-utilized, according to Pro Publica, and result in few convictions. The people who commit transphobic acts of violence tend to be given softer sentences than the prisoners who resemble their victims.
We must always remember that the violent tools of the prison system will be used not against the people that we personally consider to be the most "deserving" of punishment, but rather against whomever the state considers to be its enemy or to be a disposable person.
You are not in control of the prison system and you cannot ensure it will be benevolent. You are not the police, the judge, the jury, or the corrections officers. By and large, the people who are in these roles are racist, transphobic, ableist, and victim-blaming, and they will use the power and violence of the system to terrorize people in poverty, Black people, trans people, "mad" people, intellectually disabled people, women, and everyone else that you might wish to protect from harm with a system of "punishment." Nevermind that incaraceration doesn't prevent future harm anyway.
You can't argue for incarceration as the tool of your revenge fantasies, you have to argue for it as the tool that it actually is. The purpose of a system is what it does. And the prison system's purpose has never been to protect or avenge vulnerable trans people. It has always been to beat them, sexually assault them, forcibly detransition them, render them unemployable, disconnect them from all community, neglect them, and unperson them.
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therobotmonster · 6 months ago
Text
The Fae Thought He Had Her, but She's Had Lots of Practice
Actual Title: "On Foreign Soil."
The fae was having a grand old time with his latest toy. Mortals were easily befuddled with the magic of contract-and-courtesy. He'd taken pretty much all he could from the family: several names, the mother's attention, the son's concept of friendship... Even the life of the father.
He'd taken that one taking just the right moment of his time, the one where he moved just out of the oncoming car's path. That also took out the youngest daughter and making a new neverwas to lurk in the pockets of lost time around the home.
The tricks made him strong. The sense of betrayal and regret humans had when they realized how screwed they truly were was like honey: rich, sweet, and immune to spoilage. If anything, in the last sixty-some-odd years he'd been home the humans had gotten more petulant and even easier to trick.
It was a veritable buffet.
So when the eldest daughter returned home from college, he expected her to be easy pickings. The young were always foolish and prideful, and very often rude. They gave him so many opportunities.
So when she threw open the door, and stared at him with cold green eyes, he immediately laughed in delight. His face took on a distinctively 'David Bowiesq' aspect, a trick he found worked well the last time he'd been to the mortal lands.
"Oh, hello. May I have your name, lass?" He cooed in a cocky-yet-soothing voice.
"My name is Alex, and no." She said.
He raised a brow. She was canny, or at least half-canny. She knew enough to object to him taking it. Still, she had answered, and by the laws of the fae, the latter objection did not override the former offer.
So why wasn't he Alex now?
It was odd, but sometimes mortals were a little resistant to magic. He worried for a moment she was a skeptic, but she couldn't be. Her response meant she knew, or at least suspected, what he was. Moreover, he didn't feel the painful chill and sluggishness empiressence caused, nor the crushing weight of the explicable upon his bird-hollow bones.
No, she was just lucky, or was carrying an iron horseshoe, nothing he couldn't handle in his, or someone else's sleep.
"And what the fuck are you calling yourself, asshole?"
He blinked.
The impudence hit him like a slap. She'd just given him the opening to do anything he wanted, but the raw temerity of the insult, it's artless crudeness, it's utter lack of respect stunned him too much to enjoy it. His rage and petulance rushed into the hole left by his shock, and he sputtered.
"You rude little beast, you have no idea what you've brought upon yourself!"
He raised one pale hand, the flesh fading from it to leave nothing but blackened bone, and he pointed the index finger at her in a silent gesture. He let fly his curse. Not just any curse, but his, the one he had made for just such an occasion.
Alex stared at him. Arms crossed. Her hair was the color of the fae's own rage.
"What's the matter, cat got your brain?"
The fae's confidence wavered and the flesh returned to his hand.
"Where are the spiders?" He said. "There... there ought to be spiders! There should be spiders!"
She rolled her eyes.
"You broke the laws of courtesy and decorum! I can do as I please as a wronged noble! You should be spiders!"
"Whose laws?" It was Alex's turn to smile.
"Why, the only ones that matter, the laws of Faerie, as laid down by Oberon and Tita-"
"And Titsforbrains, yeah. I was five once and I can read. I know your dumb politics. Slight problem. Where are you now?"
"The mortal realm?"
"More specifically?"
"The Earth. The United States."
"Exactly." Alex smiled. "And while you might come the land of the platonic ideal of inbred nepobabies, in the United States of America, no law says I can't call a fuckface a fuckface. Fuckface."
The fae tried a different curse, yet Alex was not being twisted into any sort of goat, ironic or otherwise. "But, that doesn't matter! We're a higher form of being, our laws override yours."
"No they don't." Alex said with a confidence reserved for honey badgers and humans of age three. "Now undo all your bullshit and get out of my house."
"Nuh-uh!" The Fae's cocky smirk returned. With a flourish, he pulled out a deed. "It's my house, I got it off your mother, fair-and-square. She traded it for the heart your little brother so foolishly traded me. So you should get out of MY house."
"Contracts signed under duress are non-enforceable." She said in a bored, dismissive tone.
The Fae started to object, but the contract was already crumbling into dried daffodil petals in his hand. He tried to pretend this wasn't terrifying. Inexplicable happenings were supposed to be caused by him, not happen to him. "Are you a wizard?"
"Don't be stupid. I just know my rights." She said. "I'm betting you didn't disclose the full terms of the contracts either?"
The Fae shook his head, more from fear than as a response to the question. Of course he hadn't. If the mortals didn't do their due diligence and couldn't read Linear-B, that wasn't his fau-
The thirty years he stole from the youngest boy ripped themselves out of his body. A half dozen other deals began popping at the seams.
"How are you doing this?" He gasped.
"I'm not doing it. You are. You're idiot who runs on rules and laws who decided to come scam innocent people for your own profit and amusement."
"But it always worked before-" The Fae ran his mind through all his previous romps. Every single human had whined and begged about how unfair things were. Why was this one different?
He ran through those memories again. They were among his favorites so it was easy for him to see every detail. An old man trying to argue Fae law with him. A shepherd girl trying to use her own word games to trap him. A hippie saying almost the exact same words about non-enforceable contracts.
Almost.
He ran through the memories again and again. Always impressed or terrified or blinded by greed, the mortals always argued on his terms, always went back to his wording of the deal or contract, always appealed to the laws of his people and his own noble position.
None of them had ever argued jurisdiction. Once one of them had, it applied, not just now, not just to these toys, but retroactively, and, from how it felt, with interest.
"Oh." Was all the Fae could say.
"Yes. 'Oh.'" Alex smiled like the cat that ate the proverbial canary. "Children can't sign contracts, either, you know."
Everything the Fae had done to the boy snapped back at once. It felt like every seventh tendon in his body had been snipped simultaneously with tiny scissors.
"Nor can someone sign away the right to kill them to someone else, or sell themselves or others into slavery."
Alex's father reappeared in the living room, looking dazed. In his lap was Alex's youngest sister, now remembered by all present as a person that existed. The return of the father's moment was a minor loss, but there was one less neverwas in the Castle of Paradox, and the Baron would blame him for its unmaking.
"Also, names aren't transferable between people, nor are they the whole and sum of a person's identity in this country. The closest thing we have to that is a social security number. And if you steal one of those, well, identity theft is a crime here."
Mr. Baxter, Mrs. Baxter, Julie and Sam's lights all turned on at once, though they were still groggy and half-asleep and would be for hours to come.
A fortune in names, first, middle, last, with nicknames and pet-names and all between, all vanished from the Fae's purse. He could feel its lightness in his pocket.
The Fae turned on his heels. "I fear I must take my leave, so sorry for the inconvenience!"
He was halfway to the door. The impact on the back of his skull knocked him forward off his feet, sending him slamming into the polished wood floor. The projectile that laid him out bounced and landed by his head.
He'd been right about her having an iron horseshoe.
"You don't get to walk away." She said. He felt her steel-toed boot, soles made of entirely synthetic rubber and cleats of cold steel, press against the base of his spine. His hollow, bird-bone spine. "You don't get to fuck with people, say 'my bad' when you get caught, and run."
"Y-your law!" He gasped. He felt his bones cracking. He wanted to turn into something else but he couldn't focus. She was pressing down harder now, because she was half-kneeling. Her hand picked up the fallen horseshoe. "You have to let me go, or arrest me, turn me over to your police, right? You can't just murder me!"
"What are you?"
"I- I'm a Faerie of Arcadia, a sub-Prince of the House of-"
"So not a human. And not an animal." She kept him pinned.
"No!" He growled. Blood the color of an oil slick on the highway began to fill his mouth. The pain made him forget his fear for a moment, and he bared his true face, something between a bug, a wax store mannequin, and a pug-dog. "We-we're a higher form of life! Far beyond anything this miserable pile of dung you call a planet has to offer! You will pay for this impertinence the moment you break the law that holds me!"
"You're a lot of things. A bully, a pest, a liar. But you're not human. And you're not an animal. In fact, as far as the laws of this land are concerned, you aren't real."
Alex lifted her boot to kick him onto his back, then pinned him again.
"Th-then you can't kill me!" He laughs. "You can't kill something that's not real! You've trapped yourself! You'll have to let me go!"
"You haven't been to our 'pile of dung' in some time have you?" Alex asked. She nodded to a strange white book-shaped object that sat unopened, upright, next to the television, next to a pair of white and black crescent-moon shaped objects studded with small white and black buttons.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
--
Six hours later, a notification popped up on Alex's dorm room computer.
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moonstruckme · 7 months ago
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hi! What about a fic if one of the Mauraders or TASM peter with a reader who's insecure about her big boobs? Like ik everyone thinks it's ideal but honestly sometimes it really sucks when shirts don't fit right or everything looks slutty or u can't go braless or alternatively a fic about their gf overhearing someone say they r an ass man but she has a small butt?
Thank you for requesting!
cw: insecurity around breast size
tasm!Peter Parker x fem!reader ♡ 1k words
You’re looking in the mirror, and you want to feel good about yourself. Really, everything looks the way it should. Your hair looks better than it would on an average day, that new eyeshadow thing you tried actually turned out nicely, and your dress fits the way it’s supposed to. 
Just, the way it’s supposed to fit doesn’t really seem right to you at the moment. 
“Peter,” you call in the direction of the bathroom, “if I ask you about something, can you promise to be honest with me?” 
You hear water splash in the shower, signaling your boyfriend is finally rinsing out his hair. In classic Peter fashion, he seems like he’s going to be late to his own banquet. Oscorp is having a formal event to recognize the achievements of their scientists this year. Peter’s done even more than most, and he’s expected to give a speech before the food comes out which you’ll be lucky to make at this rate. You were supposed to get ready together, but he’d spent the majority of the time flirting with you while you did your makeup in your pajamas. 
“Duh, I’m always honest,” he calls back. The shower shuts off. “That’s why they call me your friendly, honest, neighborhood spider-man.” A pause. You wonder if he can sense the dry look you’re sending his way. “Fine, but I’m always honest with you. Shoot, sweetheart.” 
“Okay.” You give yourself one final, disappointed look-over in the mirror before heading towards the bathroom door. “I’m serious, don’t sugarcoat anything, but do you think—” 
The door swings open, and Peter’s right in front of you, beads of water still visible on his torso and a towel wrapped around his waist. 
“—this is too slutty?” you finish, quieter, right as he blurts, “Oh my god.” 
Peter blinks. His head does a tiny shake, as if trying to rid himself of a dizzy spell. “What?” he asks. 
Probably not your best phrasing. “I just mean, is it too booby,” you try again. You have the urge to tuck your arms around your middle self-consciously, but you worry that would only make the boob predicament worse. 
“Baby.” Peter’s still looking at you like you’re speaking another language. “What?” 
You look down at your highly visible cleavage, then back up at him. “You know what I mean,” you say softly. 
“Okay, speaking from a strictly straight male standpoint,” Peter says, unabashed as his eyes dip to where yours just where, “I can’t condone the idea that there is such a thing as too booby. But even if I was, like, a ninety-five-year-old conservative woman, I couldn’t—I would still think you look beautiful.” 
Your heart balloons. It’s not a compliment you got much before you met Peter. Hot, sexy, sure, but not beautiful. 
“God.” The word slips from your boyfriend’s mouth so softly it almost sounds like a prayer. His hands find your waist, skimming down the satiny material of your dress to rest on your hips. “You’re amazing. Is that the eyeshadow trick you were talking about?” 
You nod, cheeks warming. “You watched me do it.” 
“It looks different with the dress on,” he agrees. “Fuck. Not to be corny, but you’re seriously taking my breath away. I can’t breathe right now.” 
A little laugh stutters out of you, and Peter smiles. He’s looking rather breathtaking himself, fresh-faced from the shower with a piece of damp hair still clinging to his forehead. You unstick it and comb it back in with the others already fluffed up after being toweled off. He smells like his shampoo. 
“Can I kiss you,” he asks, “or will I mess up your makeup?” 
“Be careful,” you warn, smiling as you lean in. 
He is, but his hands give away his hunger, bunching in the fabric at the base of your spine to get you closer. He makes a low, needy sound in the back of his throat, and for half a second you wonder if it’s for your benefit but then you remember that he was right earlier. Peter is always honest with you. 
You laugh when you pull away, going to get a bit of tissue paper to blot away the lipstick you’ve left on him. A glance in the bathroom mirror shows that yours is, thankfully, intact. 
“Are you sure this dress will be appropriate?” you ask, less insecure now but still nervous as you wipe at Peter’s upper lip. “Regardless of how much you like it, it’s still a formal thing and I don’t want to be…indecent.” You cringe. There’s no word that sounds nice. 
Your boyfriend’s brows furrow. His hands skim up your arms, and he looks like he’s about to reply when you fold the toilet paper and stick it between his lips. “Blot,” you murmur. 
He does. “Sweetheart.” He squeezes your upper arms, a silent request for you to look up at his eyes. You find them soft and earnest. “There’s nothing inappropriate about what you’re wearing. It is a formal thing, and you’re wearing a formal dress. You look beautiful.” That word again. Your cheeks burn. Peter kisses one of them. “No one is going to have anything to say about how you look other than how beautiful you are,” he promises. 
You let the sincerity of his words seep into you, pooling like a warm drink in your belly. The inside of your lip finds its way between your teeth. Now you’re feeling bashful for other reasons. 
It’s obvious by Peter’s grin that he can tell. He gives your arms another squeeze before moving you out of the way and going to where his clothes are laid out on the bed. 
“Actually, that’s pretty convenient for me.” He discards the towel on the floor, slipping on a pair of boxers and then starting to button up his dress shirt. “You’ve just taken a whole bunch of pressure off my speech. No way anyone’s gonna be looking at me while I’m up there now.”
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ginnsbaker · 1 month ago
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All Of Your Pieces (3 - The Neighbor)
Chapter Summary: Agnes sees the perfect opportunity to stir up some trouble while Wanda deals with her jealousy toward your work assistant, Geraldine. Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Female Reader Chapter word count: 2.8k+ | Chapter Tags/Warnings: None
A/N: I really have nothing to say except that I enjoyed writing Agatha in this chapter // More author's notes here.
Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist
The team has been at a standstill, figuring out who’s behind this, or how to communicate with anyone trapped inside the town. Every drone they've sent in morphs into something entirely different, thwarting their efforts to gather any useful intel. The people sent underground to scout a safe route through have gone dark, their communication cut off. No one else volunteered to attempt approaching the perimeter after that.
The broadcasts they've been tracking are erratic, cutting out for hours with no warning, making it hard to keep a consistent eye on the town's odd behaviors. But it's during one of these quiet periods when something clicks in Darcy's mind.
“I think I have something,” Darcy blurts out to Jimmy. They’ve been scraping the bottom of the barrel, running out of faces to identify from the snippets of life in Westview they caught on screen. 
“Yeah?” Jimmy gives her a tired look, only half-listening. He can't remember the last time he managed more than an hour of uninterrupted sleep. Even if he could find the time to rest, the bizarre situation they're in won't let his mind relax. 
Darcy sighs and leads him outside the tent.
“So, you’ve seen that radio on Wanda’s kitchen counter, right?”
Jimmy only nods.
Darcy continues, “The next time she’s washing dishes, or whatever—which by my count—happens about once an episode, barf, we’ll shoot a signal to that little guy.” She leads him to a set of computers set up behind a pickup truck. Jimmy doesn’t understand what’s going on with these systems, but he’s hoping Darcy really is onto something.
“This transmitter will mimic the frequency of the broadcast,” she pauses to catch her breath in the cold and to give him time to catch up with her science. “And if my theory is right, it will allow us to speak to her.”
She cuts off any chance for Jimmy to comment and assures him, “This is definitely going to work.”
The annual Westview Harvest Festival is in full swing. The town square is packed with booths overflowing with baked goods and fresh fall produce. A small stage is set up for the local band playing tunes from the 70s, while kids dart around in all directions, their faces painted with fanciful designs. Billy and Tommy are with their preschool teachers, who are keeping them and other children their age occupied with arts and crafts that involve tumbleweeds—a material no one seems to think is entirely safe for five-year-olds to play with.
In hindsight, it’s the ideal setting for introductions and mingling. However, everyone here already knows each other—everyone, that is, except for Wanda. She makes an effort to blend in, but apart from a few interactions with the planning committee, which weren’t particularly fruitful, she often remains secluded at home. This makes you, the only one in the household who heads out daily for work, the more socially connected of the two. It’s both amusing and slightly anxiety-inducing to watch you interact with the townsfolk who are essentially strangers to you and to Wanda, if only you knew. You and Wanda never had the opportunity to live a normal life, to settle in a typical city, surrounded by neighbors who could have become integral to the life you might have built together. 
Seeing you interact with these people, she’s realizing it’s harder than she thought to share you with others. Or maybe she’s just as selfish as she’s always been, never really outgrowing it. When you were both part of the Avengers, it was like living in a bubble, surrounded by only a few familiar faces every day. Now, outside that controlled environment, it’s challenging her expectations and stirring up feelings she thought she had under control.
It becomes particularly tough when she sees Geraldine heading towards you, sporting that perpetual, dazzling smile full of perfect white teeth. Wanda's fingers curl into a fist, tiny wisps of red energy leaking from them. You quickly cover her hand with yours, and the effect is immediate—she relaxes slightly, letting you intertwine your fingers with hers, anchoring herself by your side where she feels secure.
“It's so nice to see you outside of the office, just being one of us for a change,” Geraldine says, though she seems to be wearing the same uniform as at work. Not that you're judging, but it does make you wonder why she hasn't changed.
“Definitely beats being stuck behind a desk,” you reply, your attention briefly wandering. Only then do you notice that Wanda has subtly withdrawn her hand from yours, now exploring a booth with homemade apple cider. You hadn't even noticed the exact moment she let go.
“Hello, Wanda!” Geraldine greets her warmly. 
Wanda musters a tight-lipped smile that’s convincing enough, as Geraldine appears quite taken with it. Just then, Geraldine spots Agnes standing a little away from the crowd, lingering behind Wanda with a look that borders on suspicion or disdain. 
Geraldine steps up to her while Wanda continues to busy herself with whatever else is being showcased in the booth. “Hi, I'm Geraldine. Isn’t this a wonderful evening?” She extends her hand to Agnes.
Agnes eyes the offered hand but doesn’t accept it. Instead, she sizes up Geraldine with a quick once-over and nods, foregoing any introductions. Geraldine's smile falters briefly, but she quickly shakes off the slight, tossing a brisk, “See you around, Y/N!” over her shoulder as she heads back to her table.
You wave back and let out a sigh, relieved that you’ve just sidestepped what could have been the most awkward moment of your life. Wanda’s jealousy towards Geraldine seems more serious than you’d realized. You know Wanda can be possessive; it's just been a long time since it's manifested this way. But then, it's also been a while since you've both been in a crowd of strangers like this. Since…
Since when, exactly?
“Y/N, honey?” Wanda’s voice snaps you out of your fog.
You blink. “Hm?”
“I’m thirsty.”
Just like that, you’ve forgotten about your lapse of memory, replaced by a desire to tend to your wife's needs.
“I’ll get us some refreshments. What would you like?” you ask.
“Just some water, please.”
“Water here, too,” Agnes calls out, unsolicited. 
You suppress the urge to roll your eyes. It's great that Wanda's making friends in the neighborhood, but did it really have to be Agnes O’Connor? Ever since you and Wanda moved into this quiet suburb, Agnes has made it her personal mission to be involved in every aspect of your lives. You can’t shake the feeling that there’s more to it than the apparent nosiness of your neighbor.
As you head over to get the drinks, Agnes sidles up to Wanda, her eyes gleaming with an opportunity to stir some pot. 
“Geraldine seems quite taken with your wife.”
It’s not like Wanda doesn’t know what Agnes’s doing, but she finds herself nodding in agreement anyway. Your new assistant does appear smitten with you, and while Wanda gets the appeal—you are, undeniably, crush-worthy—she can't say she's thrilled about it.
“Y/N is her boss,” Wanda murmurs, more to herself than to Agnes.
“Oh, honey,” Agnes laughs condescendingly. “Do you even go to the movies? That's how the steamiest affairs start, you know.”
Wanda bristles at the sound of that endearment from someone other than you. But she keeps herself together—barely. 
“I trust her,” Wanda forces out.
As you're getting drinks, Geraldine joins you, picking up a soda herself. She lets out a light laugh at a joke from the bartender, and you find yourself chuckling too, oblivious to the piercing look your wife is drilling into your back.
Meanwhile, Agnes sees her opening and swoops in, linking her arm through Wanda's with a bit more force than necessary. 
“Of course, you trust her, dear,” she murmurs right by Wanda's ear. “But do you trust her?” She points subtly with her chin towards Geraldine, her lips pursed. “You know what they say, keep your friends close, and your enemies closer…”
Wanda's shoulders tense, her entire frame stiffening. As you return with the drinks, Agnes steps away, leaving Wanda visibly shaken, like she’s teetering on the edge of a panic attack.
“Everything okay?” you ask, handing her a drink. You've noticed before how Wanda's demeanor changes around Agnes; she’s clearly a source of stress for her. It’s going to be a difficult conversation, but it might be time to tell Wanda what you really think about the neighbor.
Wanda takes the water you offer, her fingers trembling slightly as she does. For a moment, she appears distant, disengaged, as if her mind is elsewhere. Then, with a sudden shift, she flashes you one of those smiles that sends a shiver down your spine.
“I'm fine,” she declares, a little too brightly. Then, seemingly out of the blue, she asks, “Is Geraldine here with someone?”
You stop short, realizing you really don't know much about Geraldine beyond work. “I didn’t see her with anyone,” you say.
Wanda nods thoughtfully. Her next suggestion catches you by surprise. 
“Maybe you should invite her over to our table.”
Did you hear that correctly? Had Wanda just done a complete 180 regarding your assistant and was now interested in getting to know her? You shoot a suspicious glance at Agnes. Had she said something to Wanda to change her mind?
“Are you sure?” you ask, puzzled by her abrupt change of heart.
“I am,” Wanda affirms. “It might be nice to make a new friend.”
Back at the response camp, Darcy and Jimmy are huddled around the small, grainy television, waiting for the moment Wanda’s in her kitchen so they can send a message through her radio device. However, the usual domestic scenes are conspicuously absent, replaced by static and sporadic cuts to the ongoing Harvest Festival.
“Come on, come on,” Darcy mutters under her breath, shoving her glasses back up her nose. They've been slipping a lot lately, probably because she's been hunching over her work more than usual these past few days.
“It's this festival,” Jimmy says, squinting at the screen. “I think the whole town's out there tonight. I don’t think we’re going to get the chance.”
Their attempts to contact anyone inside the Hex are dwindling, and Hayward's interest leans more towards studying the energy barrier encasing the town rather than resolving the anomaly itself. His latest directive to launch another drone into the barrier feels like a brute force attempt to crack the problem. Jimmy thinks it’s a waste of time—and resources.
“Yeah, and you know what’s worse?” Darcy grumbles. “I have a bad feeling about Agnes. Every time she's around, things just seem to... escalate.”
As they watch, the screen cuts to a shot of Agnes at the festival, linking arms with Wanda, whispering something that makes Wanda’s expression tighten. “See, what did I tell you?” Darcy exclaims, pointing at the screen. “Who’s this Agnes again in real life?” she asks.
Jimmy swivels in his chair, his gaze sweeping across the expansive pinboard filled with photos of Westview residents. Agnes’s face is not among them. 
“No idea,” he says flatly. He had already run a search in the database, but it came back empty.
“So, we've identified Y/N, Monica, and Agnes as outsiders in Westview,” Darcy explains, tallying them off on her fingers. 
“That’s correct,” Jimmy confirms.
“And then there’s Wanda’s sons. But again… we haven’t seen any other children in the show besides the twins.”
Jimmy thinks about it for a while. It had never really occurred to him before. “Maybe they’re bound to show up at some point?”
“Smells fishy to me,” Darcy huffs. Her thoughts circle back to Agnes. “How do you think Agnes ended up here?” she asks, their list of unanswered questions growing daily.
Jimmy shrugs. “She could’ve just been visiting.”
Darcy considers it. It's a possibility, but somehow, it doesn't feel quite right—too simple, too convenient for someone as vibrant and prickly as the character Agnes portrays.
It's as if Wanda's animosity toward Geraldine just magically went away. 
They’ve been chatting for almost an hour. Initially, Wanda made sure to include you in the conversation, but as time passed, she and Geraldine started connecting over topics that didn’t involve you as much. Feeling somewhat left out but also at ease that the problem between your wife and your secretary has apparently resolved itself, you decide to check out the festival booths.
This is where Agnes finds the perfect opportunity to get you alone. She starts her approach—to your surprise and discomfort—by acknowledging the elephant in the room.
“I know you don’t like me very much,” she says with a knowing smile. “Maybe we can change that tonight?”
You eye her with suspicion, easily seeing through her blatant attempts to flirt her way into your good graces.
“How exactly are we going to do that?” you ask, crossing your arms in front of you.
Agnes simply laughs off the cool reception you’ve given her. If anything, she revels in it. 
“By getting to know each other, obviously,” she says.
“Right.”
She takes your elbow, and you swear she can feel you recoil at her closeness, yet she doesn’t seem to care. She urges you forward, dictating the pace. Her grip is unexpectedly firm, as if to say you have no choice but to listen—like leaving isn't an option.
With you literally in her grasp, Agnes sets her plans into motion. “So, how did you and Wanda meet?” she asks.
You deliver the narrative precisely as it plays out in your memory, exactly as Wanda implanted it in your mind. “We grew up next to each other. Best friends since we were kids.” 
“How cute,” she says, in that smooth, supercilious tone that usually makes your skin crawl. But this time, with the memories of Wanda filling your head, you hardly notice.
“Yeah, I remember when I first saw her,” you continue, gazing into the distance as if the scene you speak of is right there before your eyes. “It was almost Halloween, and my mom had baked a pumpkin pie to welcome them to the neighborhood. She sent me to deliver it. Wanda answered the door.”
“Love at first sight?”
“More like the opposite,” you say, throwing Agnes a good-natured smile, something you’ve never done before. “She couldn’t stand me, and I felt the same way.”
“Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?” Agnes drawls before accompanying it with a short chuckle. “Who knows? Maybe there’s hope for us yet. You might end up not hating me so much after all.”
“Maybe…” you say, the smile reaching your eyes this time.
“Good, good,” Agnes says. “I can’t think of anything more romantic than growing up with the person you’ll be with for the rest of your life. Almost like it’s… sketched out, no?”
You nod at her, not sure where she’s going with this, but you appreciate the sentiment. You consider yourself lucky to have known Wanda most of your life. 
“So, you've lived in Westview your whole life?” Agnes asks.
“Yes,” you nod without hesitation.
“And you've only ever been to Westview?”
“No, of course not,” you laugh, ready to list off places you've been, but suddenly, you can't name any. The cities and trips that should come easily to your tongue just... don't materialize.
Not a single one.
Agnes watches you struggle with a blank expression. A second later, she begins throwing out suggestions, as if trying to help. 
“Canada?" 
You shake your head. 
“California?” 
Another shake.
“New York?”
No. This time, your eyes sting with the frustration of trying to pull something from the haze, realizing there’s nothing there. 
Have you really never been anywhere but Westview?
“Eastview, maybe?” she offers with a bit of sarcasm as she names the town next door.
“I—”
“How strange,” Agnes muses, driving home the final nail in the coffin of your crumbling peace.
You jerk your arm away from her grip and take a few instinctive steps back. “I need to pick up the twins,” you blurt out, seizing the first excuse that comes to mind. “We should be heading out soon.”
Without waiting for her reply, you start walking away, driven by a sudden, intense need to be with your boys, with Wanda. To hold them close, to find some stability. Because right now, you’re petrified by a fear you cannot name. 
“I heard Australia’s amazing this time of year!” Agnes calls after you.
The idea of not having been anywhere but Westview—it’s possible, right? Some people spend their entire lives in one place. But if this feeling—the one that's been gnawing at you lately—is real, if the world outside of Westview is truly non-existent, then what does that say about your life here?
What does it say about you?
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