#first you actually start to like how your drawings turn out so you wanna draw more
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omgafhsfanin2024 · 10 months ago
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heyyyyss hope this isnt weird but did you happen to have a fede drawing of him with a mullet that you deleted? i have a reblog of it in my drafts for some reason i was gonna reblog it but now that i tried to reach the original it says that it doesn't exist?
did you delete it? if so, are you ok with me still rebloggin the drawing? (since i have it in my drafts i guess i am still able to reblog it)
if you're not it's alright i understand dw !
Hi yes I made the drawing! I have deleted some of my older drawings (including the Fede Mullet One) because I think my older artstyle(s) r very embarrassing and I don't wanna see it BUT you're free to reblog it!! It's just a personal thing and you can freely reblog my old art if you find it somehow!!
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zurifushigurxz · 4 months ago
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༄ ◇ imagine showering with husband!nanami when he gets home from a long day at work.
・゜・。
cw: fluff, slightly suggestive (nothing too bad, just people not wearing clothes), kissing, you and nanami showering together
authors note: guys this is my first time posting my work! this one i didnt really like and this is my first time actually writing smt.. i’ll probably improve in the future soo.
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Sat on the plushy couch in your cozy living room, you eagerly wait for your loving husband to come back from work.
The front doorknob starts to rattle and you hear a familiar sigh coming from the other side of the door. Immediately upon realizing that the husband you loved so dearly was home, you spring up, eyes lighting up. He opens the door and his exhausted expression softens at the mere sight of you standing so beautifully in-front of him. “I missed you kento, you were gone for so long,” you pout, wrapping your arms around his neck and planting a delicate peck on his cheek. “I missed you more, my love.” He drops his bag and sinks into you, the way this man who towers over you, seems to shrink in your touch, melting like putty. His large arms encircle your waist, pulling you close and enveloping you in his hold. He whispers under his breath, “I love you s’much, pretty girl, missed you so bad.” You seize his tie, drawing him into a passionate kiss. When the both of your lips collide, all his stress erodes away. This man adores you.
“I need to take a shower, s’that okay with you my love?” He says, still looking deeply into your eyes. “Make it quick, I wanna lay with you after” you reply, placing another kiss on his cheek. He looks away from you, seemingly trying to avoid your gaze from meeting his. “Actually my love.. I was hoping that we could, uh, do it together?” His tone was timid, and a soft pink blush painting across his sharp features. You smile at him warmly and nod.
You step into the shower, your husband following. The warm water streaming down the both of you. Nanami picks up the wash cloth, about to scrub himself when you stop him, “let me do it for you, ken, you had a long day.” He smiles and hands you the cloth, letting you do as you please with him. You start by slowly scrubbing his back, the vanilla scented body wash now coating his body, then you turn him around and scrub his arms, and chest, then the rest of his body. He feels so loved in your touch. He turns to you, “Mind if I return the favor?” To which you accept, and he takes a different wash cloth, lathering that same vanilla-scented soap on it. He starts by carefully scrubbing your arms, being so very gentle with you, as if you would break. He moves the wash-cloth to the valley in between your perfectly shaped breasts. He rinses you off and places delicate kises starting from your hand, working his way up to your neck. Your husband’s subtle kisses make your insides flutter, it has you wondering, ‘how did I land such a perfect man’. His eyes trace your figure, admiring every part of your beautiful body. “you’re so perfect, pretty girl.”
He spins you around and embraces you from behind, the water still running over you. You giggle out, “You okay baby? Did y’have a rough day at work?” You turn to face him and wrap your arms around him, the two of you now chest to chest. “Yes, but I’m okay, I’m with you now,” He kisses your neck so lovingly, taking a whiff of your sweet scent. “wish we could stay like this forever.”
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gguk-n · 5 months ago
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The Exception (Max Verstappen x Reader)
Summary- 4 times Max let y/n get away with whatever she wanted and 1 time he didn't.
I just have so much love for maxie and I wanna show it so it came out as this. Hope you like it!! I hope maxie is only loved tbh
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Max was very young when he had moved to a Netherland. If someone asked him when it was, he'd probably never be able to tell. But he could tell you about the annoying neighbours he had growing up. Yes, he did spend most of his time karting and didn't have the time at home or in school like normal kids his age would but the fleeting moments spent at that house in Netherland left behind fond memories that he can look back and only because of a certain little girl with chubby cheeks and two identical braids on either side of her head who had made quite a place in his life. Jos wasn't very happy with Max wasting his time entertaining those kids but he couldn't do much when the children's father was a tall bulky man who could take Jos out in one punch, insisted on letting the kids play together. The tall man had 3 kids Max noticed when he had dinner at their place for the first time; the oldest being the girl who we mentioned before followed by 2 younger brothers who seemed to love karting. They asked Max so many questions about it that they got scolded by their mother for ruining dinner for everyone but Max thought was cute because the youngest couldn't even pronounce karting but had a lot to say. Every time he would spend time with his neighbours, it would always be with the 2 young boys who wanted to learn how to kart better and become like Max like the younger one put it. Even now it makes Max laugh reminiscing about those days. They never really made it professionally though.
2008
Max and the 2 boys were playing around when their older sister asked if they would like to join her for a session of afternoon tea with Mr Whale and Miss Teapot. The brothers made a face of disgust and ran away from her, dejected she turned around when Max agreed. Her face lit up like a Christmas tree. She quickly dragged him into her room and had him sit next to Mr Longneck, the giraffe. An hour later Max was found in Y/N's room with two pigtails if you could call them that on the top of his head, a tiara and the prettiest necklace Y/N owned. Looking at himself in the mirror he couldn't help but laugh. Y/N on the contrary looked pleased with her handy work. She thanked him for being a good and compliant customer and to come back again if he ever wanted to look pretty. It wasn't easy to get Max to do what you wanted except he couldn't say no to her puppy eyes. She even gave him a drawing of him in his kart saying that it would bring him good luck since she couldn't be there and placed her favourite bracelet on his hand.
If Y/N was to ask him about the bracelet, Max would say he lost it as soon as she gave it to him, but deep down in the watch drawer of Max's Monaco apartment sat a brightly neon pink bracelet with Y/N’s initials.
2014
Y/N had started highschool and remained the annoying self Max had come to love. Her over the top demeanor and affection to screaming at the top of her lungs whenever she spotted Max never failed to make him smile. Having joined Formula one this year, meant Max was way to busy to be home but Y/N seemed to never forget to text him regularly. She would ask him to get autographs of other drivers or souvenirs from different countries. It was a regular race weekend when Y/N texted Max asking him to explain how the engine in a go kart worked. In a split second Max was on call with her asking "why do you need that?" to which she replied "I'm doing a project on that. I even made a small scale replica of your kart Look here!!!" She exclaimed. "I just need to shrink you and place you inside it" Y/N laughed. Max told her not to worry and that he would text her the details in a hour or so. Actually it took a couple hours and Y/N was starting to get agitated and called him back. Max replied with a almost done and smiled at her. He had literally written her entire report for her and sent it to review. Y/N almost screamed when she saw the assignment. She thanked Maxie for doing this for her and that she owed him her life. Max was just happy to be of help, he told himself more than he told her because who stays up till 5 in the morning on a race weekend doing someone else’s project.
He kept the small scale replica of his Kart on the mantle above the fireplace if anyone wanted to know what happened to the kart.
2018
Y/N was freshly 18, so getting drunk was the only thing on her agenda. On a night out, she was so drunk that no one could get her to move because she wanted her Maxie and would only leave with Maxie, she enunciated. Her friend was able to open up Y/N phone and thankfully find a Maxie in her favourite contacts. She called the number to be met with a groggy but worried voice. "Hi! This is Y/N's friend Kate speaking. Am I speaking with a....maxie?" she said tentatively. Max let out a sigh while rubbing his eyes, "Yes, this is Max speaking." "Can you come pick Y/N up?" She asked hesitantly followed by, "She won't leave with anyone but you apparently." Max was already out of bed and near the door when he said "I'll be there in 10, where are you guys at?" She sent him the location and waited for 'maxie'. Nothing could've prepared them for this. They had thought Maxie was a friend, a boyfriend maybe even a neighbour; they did not think Maxie was Max Verstappen, F1 driver for Redbull racing. He apologised for the inconvenience and crouched down to Y/N level who seemed to have realised that he was here. She cupped his cheeks and giggled while turning his head to the crowd of people standing, "Look, this is my Maxie." Hearing Y/N say my maxie made his heart beat faster then it should've, he admits but that girl had a tight hold on his heart and he couldn't really do much about it. She stood up and wrapped her arms around Max asking him to carry her since her legs felt like mush. Max gladly carried her back to his car, as he fastened her seat belt she asked him to take her back to his place since her parents would probably disown her if she come in drunk for the 6th time this week. Max looked shocked and asked her to stop drinking so much since it wasn't good for her. All Y/N could mumble was that the alcohol made the pain in her heart bearable. This broke Max's heart. Who would dare hurt his precious little angel, if he met that guy he was so dead, Max thought. Little did he know that guy was the one driving her back home.
Y/N was a nuisance when drunk, she reminded him of the little girl he had befriended when he moved here. She wouldn't listen to anything he asked her to do that night until he agreed to let her do make up on him which he would gladly agree to, real or not.
2022
Y/N had recently graduated and was looking for a place to stay. It was one of those nights after a fruitless apartment hunt Y/N facetimed Max. He looked very comfortable in his sim racing chair in his luxurious apartment in Monaco having moved recently. "Maxie" the younger girl sighed. "Meisje, what's the problem?" came a concerned voice. "I can't seem to find a decent apartment, I've been at it for months now." she said. Max offered to help her find the right place and Y/N started listing out all the things she wanted in her apartment which was sounding a lot like Max current apartment which was true, that was Y/N's dream apartment currently; after seeing it a couple months ago when she had visited him as a housewarming surprise and even held a party for him. "You can move to Monaco, the house you're looking for is here" Max said. After a long pause Y/N replied with a chuckle, "I don't make formula 1 money. I'm too broke to afford a house here. In Monaco, I'd have to sell my organs to afford a place there." As if it was the most obvious thing, Max offered her to stay at his place and look for a job here.
The allure of Monaco was too much and Y/N was able to thankfully find a job there so that she wouldn't be completely dependent on Max which he wouldn't have minded. Max never let her pay rent, he'd always tell her to cook good food and that was rent sorted.
2023
It was the night of the Abu Dhabi grand prix. Max had just won his third WDC so him and his friends decided to go out to celebrate, Y/N included. The night carried on as usual, Max not touching much of the alcohol since Y/N decided to down drinks like a thirsty person. She was now in the middle of the dance floor making herself familiar with Lando's crotch, much to Max's dismay. He made his way to her and led her away from Lando while she shouted at him to let her go. They were now stood in the quieter part of the club but you could still hear the music blasting. Y/N looked visibly annoyed at being taken away from the dance floor. "You are drunk, you'll regret it tomorrow." Max said. "That's for sober me to deal with. Drunk me just wants to forget about everything and having an eventful night with a guy would do just the trick." she said. Max winced at the words and held her arms so that she could steady herself. "I don't wanna feel like this," was this the alcohol giving her the confidence, "the guy I've been in love with for ages can't seem to see me as a woman. I've been trying for years now. If I walked out naked, I'm sure he wouldn't even be phased." she sounded dejected. "Any guy would want you, Meisje." Max whispered. "But not the one I do" she stepped closer, enough that their breaths mingled. The woman in front of him was driving Max mad, had she not been drunk he would've shown her how much any man would want her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and looked into his eyes before saying, "He's so dumb, can't even see the woman in front of him." The statement felt oddly targeted. "You know, he's a 3 time world drivers champion and he doesn't even get that I love him so much." she said while looking into his eyes. "You're in love with me?" Max exclaimed. "I have been since the day you let me make pigtails on your hair but thanks for realising now." she replied sarcastically. "You're drunk, you don't know what your saying" Max replied. "Well, sober me would never tell you this but I love you Max Verstappen. So much that you make my heart beat faster and my chest swell when you look at me. I think about marrying you and having a family with you, but you think I'm joking." she declared. Max couldn't help but smiled, "Tell me all of this in the morning when you're sober so that I can tell you that I love you too schat and then I can finally kiss you." "You can kiss me now" Y/N made a kissy face and eagerly leaned in. Max shook his head and carried her back to the hotel room.
Y/N indeed remembered everything and the first thing she did even though she wreaked of alcohol was finally kiss those soft pink lips.
this is just brain rot at this point. hope you liked it
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yyokkki · 6 months ago
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Asking to Sketch Them
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*cough* I forgot this series was a thing I was doing uwu
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DIASOMNIA
Malleus Draconia
"Oh? How bold of you to think you could capture my visage in a mere canvas."
He says with the goofiest smile imaginable(⌒▽⌒)
He's already summoning a chair to sit on
Very experienced with posing so it's a breeze
You have a nice chat about philosophy, gargoyles and culture while you draw him
When you're done he's fangirling internally
Asks if he can commission you to draw a portrait of the both of you tgt
Hangs it up in his room <3
Becomes a regular commissioner
Mostly gargoyles
10/10 honestly nothing bad to say he's lovely
Lilia Vanrouge
"Fufufu, I've been in thousands of portraits over the years, you'll have to try your hardest to really impress me~ No pressure though!"
100% pressure once again
The old bat man will probably be hanging from the ceiling no negotiating
So it's either you draw him upside down or get upside down too
If you choose the second option you best hope no one walks in on you cuz damn wtf
How are you doing that you aren't even using magic???
When you're finished he jumps down and looks and goes
"How nice! Art has truly evolved so much since the last time I had one done~"
Starts showing you some of the portraits he had before like he's showing you baby pics
One of them has him looking like those medieval babies TT
4/10 I can't explain why I'm not giving him a lower score he's just funky
Silver
"No problem. If I fall asleep you can just wake me up, I won't mind."
He doesn't have much experience in posing but he's a natural
He's lookin like a disney princess fr, animals have started gathering
You're having a pleasant chat abou-
Oop he fell asleep
You think about waking him up but like
He looks so peaceful and like he's not even really moving so-
By the time you're done he's probably up and he starts apologizing
Tbh it's Silver so it would've been beautiful whether he was awake or asleep
Bonus points if you include the woodland critters snuggling into him
Human anatomy AND animal anatomy practice!!
9/10 he tried his best and it did turn out well
Sebek Zigvolt
"I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS HUMAN! MY VALUABLE TIME IS SPENT GUARDING AND PROTECTING THE HONOUR OF THE GLORIOUS YOUN-"
once again someone kiss him and shut him up omg
Or actually just show him the Malleus portrait he'll shut up
Yeah you have to do Malleus first if you wanna draw him
Stiff like a ramrod his face looks constipated
Ask him a question about his young master and he forgets he's being drawn in exactly 3 seconds
His face really lights up as he talks about him it's kinda cute
By the time you're done he's probably still talking so interrupt in a speech break
Thinks you did a good job and asks for some advice with art
Then starts trying to buy the malleus portrait off of you
I should've tried harder to not make 80% of his just him talking about the dragon boi but it's really hard cuz he's just him TT
7/10 he's not that bad but your ears are bleeding
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Heartslabyul | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia | Pomefiore | Ignihyde | Diasomnia
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tashid4 · 3 months ago
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Ghostface Sero
This one is really smutty so TW‼️‼️
October 31th. It was your last year at UA and everyone was reunited in the dorm. You all decided to organise an Halloween party. At first, it was supposed to be only your class, 20 people. But over the hours a lot of people decided to join. Now there was at least 50 people dancing in the common room.
You were dancing with your friends, having the time of your life. You were just happy to be with your girls, hyping each other and laughing. It was the middle of the night but you weren't tired at all, you could dance for 10 more hours. Adrenaline coursing through your veins.
At some point you went to grab another drink but after that you couldn't find your friends anymore. Alone in the middle of the crowd. The party was in full swing. You were in full panic. You didn't bring your phone, you had no way to get to them.
That is when you saw him, staring at you from afar. Ghostface. The mask. He was dressed in full black : black pants, black tank top, black shoes and of course the black mask. You felt like he was staring through your soul.
Your eyes locked on him. Getting closer to you. Pushing people around to get to you. Alone surrounded by strangers you felt vulnerable but it was exciting to find out who was hiding behind the mask. He managed to get to you, now that he was close you noticed how tall he really was, towering over you by several feet. Still looking at him, your heart start to pound out of your chest.
"So you got a boyfriend ?" he asked with a familiar voice. It was deep and smooth. Spicy and sweet. Sharp and sugary. You liked it. "Not at all" "Good"
You smiled widely as he grabbed your waist.
"Fuck don't stop" he's been pounding into you for so long now that you couldn't even tell if it was still dark outside or if the sun had risen. His hips rocking against yours. Slapping your skin so good. It was probably red now.
"You like it when I fuck you like this baby" you were a moaning mess, unable to form a correct sentence. Your only response was a loud moan and your pussy squeezing him more. "Such a slut, letting a stranger put his dick in you. Bet you've fantasized about this"
And you actually did. Having a complete stranger ruin you with a mask was at the top of your list. It was one of your darkest secret. The only person you told this was your best friend Sero. He's been your friend since you entered the school, always sticking together. He was the one getting you back on your feet after every single one of your breakups. Wipping away your tears.
Now here he was, secretlly making you cry with pleasure. He was tired of all these guys, breaking your heart, he could take such good care of you. He knew it. Why couldn't you know that too?
"You're so pretty like this" he pulled your hair, making you let out a scream of surprise. "That's it scream for me, let everyone know how good I'm fucking you right now"
He turned you over on the bed and placed your legs on his shoulder. His thumb was drawing circles on your clit. It was so much you couldn't handle it. You were seeing stars now, incoherent thoughts forming in your head. Your name ? Don't remember it. The only thing you could focus on was the delicious feeling of his dick inside of you. Your eyes couldn't stay open, the pleasure was hitting you so harshly. "I want you to fucking look at me." He was being so mean but you honestly found him even sexier like this. Being treated like a bitch was making you so wet.
"Look at me" You wanted to but it was too hard. You were overwhelmed by all the stimulation. Suddenly, he stopped all of his movements. He grabbed your hair and whispered in your ear. "You don't wanna look at me baby? I guess I'll have to teach you a good lesson."
He got dressed and left with your panties. Closing the door, leaving you alone and naked. You were still trying to process what just happened. Did he really left you here, on the verge of your orgasm ?
Part 2 ????
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naughtyjjk · 1 year ago
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jjk men during no nut november
characters: gojo, geto, nanami, toji | fem reader warnings: 18+, smut, teasing, blowjob, masturbation, orgasm denial (just bc of the challenge) ty to everyone who voted for this! it ended up being so much longer than i expected. anyway, enjoy — it's that time of year ;)
GOJO...
talks big at first about how easy the challenge is going to be, but quickly realizes how wrong he is when november actually comes. it's natural, after all; the more he's not supposed to do something, the more it's on his mind. so he finds himself thinking about sex all the time, thinking about you. he recalls the previous times you've fucked, how good it felt to have his cock inside you without any stupid rules holding him back.
he ends up becoming soo fucking horny that it's unbearable, getting himself all worked up and finding any excuse to touch your body. "i want you... god, i wanna fuck you so bad," he says, stripping both of you down and pulling out his cock. it's nice and hard already, dripping with precum. just looking at it makes you turned on, too.
he thrusts into you and as soon as he bottoms out, the full length of his cock buried deep, you stop him there and ask, teasingly, "are you sure you want to do this? you’re not supposed to come this month, remember?" but it’s obvious that this is the limit of his self-control. you can already tell how badly he needs it, unable to take the sexual frustration anymore. "will you be able to hold back from coming?"
gojo whines, cock twitching inside you. he's so desperate and aroused and there's no way he's going to stop now that he's already gotten this far. ignoring your warning, he begins to thrust into you, moaning at how good it feels.
in the end, he only lasts a few days, which means he doesn't get any bragging rights about making it through NNN. but he has no regrets at all because now he can fuck you whenever he wants.
NANAMI...
manages to hold out for a while, but loses by the end of the first week. he tries his best, but he's weak and just can't resist you. at night, he would jerk himself off because he needs some relief but forces himself to go slowly enough to make sure he doesn't come. it doesn't help, though, because he only ends up more turned on, knowing that he can’t fully give himself the orgasm he needs.
after a few nights of going to bed hard and aching, even the most innocent touches from you gets him all riled up. his resolve snaps when you wear extra revealing clothing one day, as if you're testing him on purpose—bending over to show your cleavage, wearing leggings that draw his attention to your thighs. you know he's lost the challenge when he reaches out to touch your your legs, trailing higher and higher until he's rubbing you through your panties.
you rock your hips against his hand, noticing the bulge in his pants, the outline of his hard cock. "are you going to do anything about that?" you ask, and his eyes darken. he's far too horny to hold back any longer, taking you right then and there.
"careful," you say when you notice him start to get close, whispering into his ear. "you don't want to accidentally come now, do you?" but of course that only makes him more aroused, knowing that he isn’t supposed to be doing this.
"fuuck," he groans, thrusting into you harder and you can feel him pulsing inside you, a warning. "i c-can't hold it." he comes in you and it's so hot and filthy and you can feel his release dripping down your legs. but he doesn’t stop until you’re also shaking and moaning, riding out your orgasm on his cock.
maybe next year, you'll both have more luck finishing the challenge.
GETO...
doesn't touch you at all. he's almost too good at keeping his hands off you, determined to win this challenge. it's annoying how composed he is at the halfway point, like he's completely unaffected by the whole thing. but just because he doesn't show it doesn't mean that it isn't slowly getting to him, too.
when the end of the month approaches, he's in constant battle with himself. on one hand, he's so close to winning the challenge; on the other hand, he's beyond sexually frustrated from denying himself for so long.
the day that his resolve snaps, you're eating a lollipop and decide to tease him when you notice him starting at your mouth. you swirl your tongue around the lollipop, licking, sucking, swallowing it down, all whole making eye contact with him. he's aching and hard in his pants by the time you're done and he makes you kneel on your knees in front of him as he pulls out his cock.
he says, "if you want something to suck on so badly, then show me just how good you are" and you're happy to do so. you do the exact same thing—licking, sucking, swallowing him down. swirling around his sensitive cockhead, tracing the veins on the shaft. it's been weeks since his cock had any stimulation so it doesn't take much to get him to the edge. soon, he's thrusting into your mouth, hands tangled in your hair, moaning at how good it feels. "f-fuck, your tongue—i'm coming, i'm—"
his cock twitches as he comes, spilling down your throat. he’s breathing hard. when his mind clears, he decides that it's worth it, even if he was only a few days away from completing NNN.
TOJI...
plays dirty the whole time. this man is absolutely ruthless. he teases you relentlessly, doing whatever he wants with your body—nothing is off limits as long as you don't come. which means he can still touch you, finger you, eat you out as long as he stops before either of you orgasm. and he does this all with a wicked, sexy grin on his face, knowing exactly the torture he’s putting you through.
by far the cruelest thing he ever does is fuck you with his cock and stop mid-thrust just as you're about to come. then he pulls out and leaves you there, desperate and begging for him to go all the way. but he doesn't. he never does. and he repeats this every day for the whole month, constantly getting you worked up and keeping you on edge while denying you of your release. denying himself, too.
he says, "don't feel too good yet, baby" even when you're moaning and whimpering, begging him to finally give in. “p-please—ah, please toji... i don't care about the challenge anymore, let me come—"
meanwhile, his own self control is made of steel; he could be rock hard in his pants, leaking precum, but just knowing the effect it has on you is enough for him to ignore his own desires for now. he gets off on making you more and more aroused, pushing your limits to see when you'll break. and if you're able to last the entire time, he's looking forward to the payoff at the end, where he gets to fuck you hard, leading to an orgasm that's been building up for a month.
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kbspangler · 8 months ago
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This is the public statement from @alepresser and myself which went up at Webtoons tonight.
Now for some ranting. Just from me, not from Ale—she's innocent of the art crimes I've committed in the past, and boy howdy have I committed art crimes.
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This is the first page of my first webcomic, A Girl and Her Fed. I started this thing back in 2006. (I don't actually need a head count of those reading this who weren't yet born in 2006. I'm sure you're delightful and I wish you well in college.)
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And this is the last page I drew in early 2020 before I turned art duties over to Dr. Beer. It's better, right?
Well, these days, A Girl and Her Fed has pages like this:
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I drew this comic for fourteen fucking years because it's a story I wanted to tell, and I thought webcomics were the perfect format for it. I didn't know how to draw. I got better through sheer obstinate perseverance and sticking to deadlines as best I could for, again, fourteen fucking years. I sought out a replacement artist when I ran into time constraints and couldn't do art plus writing anymore; I'm a much better writer than an artist, so I had no problems whatsoever kicking art to the curb.
The first time Ale sent me art that would go up on the website—art I hadn't needed to draw myself—I literally cried in relief because I had been grinding myself down for, yet again, fourteen fucking years.
So when I read comments from people who say they want to make a webcomic but can't draw themselves and therefore need to resort to AI, that little line between my eyes gets dangerously deep.
This isn't like I'm some old dude who's bitching over student loans getting cancelled after making regular payments. This is me, someone who threw raw art onto the internet like a monkey hurling fresh poo, because I wanted to make a webcomic and the art is part of the process of storytelling via webcomics! I could've (arguably should've) hired an artist right out of the gate, and that would've been part of the process of making comics, too: a partnership between an artist and a writer is also something which grows and develops over time.
For example, after Dr. Beer and I spent two years working on AGAHF, we decided we enjoyed our partnership so much that we set out to make another webcomic! It's great! It's got wonderful art and consistent storytelling! You should read it!
But turning art duties over to unaltered images generated by AI because you want to make a webcomic but "just can't draw" is, frankly, a bullshit excuse. I'm not talking about persons who are physically unable to draw due to disability—I'm talking about people who say they want to make webcomics but simply don't wanna do the art part.
Friends, if you don't want to show your entire ass in front of God and country, you don't actually want to make a webcomic.
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Do the thing yourself.
If you're scared, don't be. Take the plunge. Set a goal of twenty strips and do the thing yourself. If you can already draw but can't write? Great! Write twenty strips, write forty panels, etc. You might surprise yourself. If you can write but can't draw? Great! Draw twenty panels and see what happens.
Whatever comes out of it, it's a thing you've done yourself. It's something new you've given to the world, no matter how big or small. Be proud of that. And if you need to partner with someone else to make your comic dreams work? You can do that, too! It's still a thing you've done yourself, and many projects are stronger when done together.
...but maaaaaaaaaybe hire that partner before you've busted your own ass for fourteen fucking years. That one's on me.
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b-lossm · 19 hours ago
Text
After the first kiss
[arcane women hcs about your first kiss modern au! :P]
fem reader! [based on the faye webster song]
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Vi
•It was her turn to plan the your third date, and since you have a deep relationship with music she decided to take you to the biggest record shop within reach
•okay that was a lie she drove out an hour to make sure you'd enjoy the two story shop
• the whole time she takes sneaky pictures of you, paying off a trustful worker to take polaroid's of you two, holding albums over your faces [double fantasy by john Lennon and such]
•Yes the worker was very surprised when a very masculine girl paid her 20 dollars and basically subtly demanded her to take polaroid's of her and her girlfriend but you two are so cute and 20 dollars is 20 dollars.
•the kiss didn't happen in that picture though, it happened in a nice little hidden corner of the store where you could play whichever vinyl you choose
•you chose Charm by Clairo because you didn't wanna ruin the moment with a rant about the symbolism in IGOR
•While Terrapin played in the background she leans into your side on the beanbag, chuckling about how around her you seem much shyer then anyone else she sees you with
•It then just... happened, you looked away while giggling she clocked you and then she softly scooted her face in closer and when you looked back, she was two-three inches away from your face, looking at your lips
•She then silently checks in on you twice to make sure you are okay with this, then leans in and softly kisses you, tasting your cherry lip balm you put on, that mixed with your slightly sweet lip gloss
•Afterwards she giggles on how you shy away from her and then pulls you close, Juna is playing now
•You tell her this song reminds you of her, and she tells you that Second Nature reminds her of you
•Suprsingly you lean in this time
•on the way home you can see notifications popping up from her sister reading "seriously??? shes your wife now?? your deep in lmaooo"
Caitlyn Kiramman
•She takes you to an Botanical Garden, makes sure that she brings you comfortable shoes because she knows your cute little sandals wouldn't last the walk she's made dozens of times before to admire the work and life around her
•She smiles as you excitedly gush about how beautiful everything is and how everything is so in harmony with each other
•Like Vi she makes sure to take plenty pictures of you
•She makes sure to take time to talk about the life and flowers you see around you, sitting with you and holding an umbrella for you so you can sketch in peace
•As you draw she explains how her and her mother used to come here growing up, how her mother never seemed as tense as she was at home when they where here together, how she was even having...fun?? epically when her dad was around.
•she peers over your sketchbook and realize your orchid drawings remind her of something LMAOOOOOO
•When you two start walking again she makes sure that your not tired or anything, sneaking a bit of your favorite small gummies in so you can keep your energy up
•Once lunch rolls around she tells you she got special seating for you two in a gazebo near a pond, where her family used to sit
•as you two get to the gazebo she insists she sits next too you, her reasoning is that she doesn't want to have a table between you two when you could be closer
•as you finish up eating you ask her what her favorite part was so far and she starts to ramble on about how she really admired you and how you looked surounded by plants, all of them being just the right color that complmented you
•She also rambled on about how your passionate about your art hobby that you wouldn't let the fact that you where on a date stop you from doodling
•Contrary to popular belief you actually didn't shut her up with a kiss, she turned over because she couldn't face you while saying all these things and realized that you where looking down so that your happy tears didn't mess up your makeup
•She then dabbed your tears away and giggled about how she didn't care about how you looked, she only cared about you
•She then leaned in and checked in and made sure that it was okay to kiss you, and then you did.
•Afterwards on the drive home she requested that the driver took you two straight to her place
•she snuck you in
•she was just so happy and grateful for you that she wanted you to sleep over [no you didn't sleep together like that]
•her mom did eventually walk in and quietly scolded her about bringing you here in secret, but eventually left and gave up about getting her to wake you up
•secretly you where awake the whole time, smiling softly about how she was defending you
Mel Medarda
•To feed into her creative side that she dismissed too often, you took her to a small art studio that hosts date nights.
•Because of her status you did have to rent out the place, but you didn't mind because she insisted on paying for this mystery place
•You also didn't mind because renting out the place meant you two got to do both painting and sculpting yay
•When it comes time to paint Mel sits down beside you and starts to tell you stories of her childhood as she paints
•her piece is beautiful, its a scene of the Piltover docs during around midday when everybody is out and about
•its clear that you and her have creative differences but you think that's a good thing, that you could teach her that its okay for everything to not be perfect,
•You can also see that she can teach you too be more intentional with your design, how to think and put immense emotion into your work more often then you do now.
•when its time to sculpt she's a little lost, the clay wont exactly bend to her will
•you show her how to control its form and how to turn it from a lump of earth into something more beautiful then that
•You guys end up making cute little matching keychains of something that reminds you of each other
•when cleaning up in their sinks she opens up and tells you that she was always worried about embracing her creative side her mother ushered her to hide
•in the spur of the moment you lean in for a quick peck and insist that she should paint more often
•you become a blushing puddle when you realize what you did and she chuckles confidently and leans in for a real kiss
•afterwards you head to your house to enjoy some much needed romcoms after what happened
•jokingly you suggest going paintballing after watching 10 things I hate about you, and surprisingly she agrees
•You smile, realizing that after the fourth date she's finally starting to really loosen up around you
Sevika
•Sevika takes you camping, she wanted to show off her strong suit, providing.
•She takes you to this campground away from the deserts and cityscape your used to, making sure that the Wifi is horrible so she can have you all to herself for a couple of days
•She makes sure to download your favorite playlists on her phone to make sure you still had your music though
•She also makes sure to cut and handle firewood because she knows how much you hate the feeling of raw bark and how your scared to get splinters
•Aside from worrying about animals getting into your things, Leaving your campsite is actually pretty nice
•The place she took you too has a creek running down it and she smiles as you gather small rocks and quartz pieces to take back to the campsite
•She teaches you how to skip rocks and does that thing where she holds your hand and shoulder while standing behind you to guide you
•While out on your little walk you see two deer, you make sure to be quiet as you approach but eventually they notice you and run away
•Since she's big and strong and intimidating, she automatically assumes its her fault but you reassure you that its just their natural instinct
•When you go back to your campsite Sevika teaches you how to make a spear out of a fallen tree branch you found [its extremely dull and wont hurt anyone though]
•at night you two cuddle near the fire, her big dramatic cloak keeping the two of you warm as she tells you stories of how she used to come out here after spending summers on her grandparents farm [farmer Sevika truther in the houseee]
•In her focus she talks about how she saw a pretty girl around her age here, she kind of looked like you, waaait
•yes it was infact you, you remember coming here and hating it because it was too cold
•You giggle and look away while mentioning how you two must be soulmates if you met all those years ago
•She then leans in for a kiss when you turn back and says that she doesn't joke about that kind of stuff
•Afterwards she looks away and lets out a huff, realizing, shit I'm down bad if I'm agreeing with this stupid shit
•You giggle at her obvious embarrassment and insist that its okay that you kissed
•That night she kissed all over your face because you where homesick, when asked about it she'll swear it never happened
•That night you realized that you didn't have too feel homesick around her anymore.
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An: I hope you guys like this :P I hope I did Cait, Mel, and Sevika some justice because I never wrote for them before
I do plan on making these fics on their own :))
music i listened to while writing
Vi: Charm by Clairo [specifically Juna, Second Nature, Terrapin]
Cait: Blonde, Frank Ocean [specifically Ivy and Skyline To]
Mel: I THINK, Tyler, The Creator
Sevika: Kiss me, Sixpence non the richer
Song inspo for the title is: After The First Kiss, by Faye Webster
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chuluoyi · 1 year ago
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Could you do a brother’s best friend!Megumi x reader?
like her brother being overprotective, but being oblivious of his best friend’s crush on her sister?
(not the) best kept secret
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- fushiguro megumi x reader
cool, brooding and handsome. your crush on your brother's best friend is a secret you only keep to yourself. little do you know, he too feels the same. and so, your love story—and the trials and tribulations that come with it—begins.
genre/warnings: college au, reader being yuji's little sister and him and your family being protective, fluff, mutual pining, tiny weeny angst if you squint? with happy ending ofc!
notes: awww anon, this ask is so cute and so hidden love-coded! did you watch hidden love too? because this piece draws inspiration from that ehe. and uh it turned out longer than i expected and i haven't proofread it but pls enjoy!
general masterlist
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You have had a crush on your brother’s best friend, Megumi, for a while now.
Actually, scratch that. For a long time now, since you were in middle school, in fact.
In your eyes, he was really cool. He was reserved and not very talkative, which was a stark contrast to your brother Yuji, who could talk a mile a minute every day. It always baffled you why the two could be bosom friends.
And he treated you well. Megumi may have bonked Yuji’s head at any given chance, but with you, he was different. He was gentler, kinder, and overall just considerate. Sometimes he would even pick you up in your brother’s place, and your heart would beat out of your chest from sheer giddiness.
Little did you know, he too didn’t quite see you as a mere sister of his friend.
It started with head pats. You heart would flutter and he would be more conscious of his actions. Yuji had furrowed an righteous eyebrow at the sight.
“Oi, Fushiguro, that’s some favoritism there!” he whined. “I helped you with homework and what did I get—”
“Shut up, Itadori.”
And then the text messages. You didn’t know how or why you ended up texting him on daily basis. He was the one who texted you first a few months ago, having obtained your number from a mutual friend in your circle to ask about the best gift for Yuji’s birthday. And somehow up until now, you found yourselves telling him how your day went, and he the same.
you: i've just finished my class today. so tired megumi: oh? mine is still in session. quite boring you: i see. well, ganbatte!
Those little interactions made your day, and for now, you were quite satisfied with them. But when your phone buzzed once again, signaling a new text, you couldn't resist the urge to swiftly open the messaging app to expect the expected.
megumi: wanna grab lunch later?
It was so incredibly childish, but you felt like winning.
Lunch invitations were often. You spent the whole duration of lunch with him almost every day at this point. The two of you talked about many mundane things, and he would have this small smile whenever you griped about your hard tests or annoying classmates.
Head pats. Texts. Lunches.
And then there was Nobara.
Now, don't get me wrong. You adored her—she was a fun person, pretty and you even looked up to her as your role model at some point. If Yuji somehow ended up with her, you were sure to give them 200% of your blessings.
But seeing her with Megumi was another story. Sometimes you envied your brother's close knit group of three. They had been friends since middle school, and it was granted that Nobara would spend a whole load of time with both your brother and Megumi. With Yuji, she was harsher and didn't take him seriously, but you couldn't deny what your peers had been whispering and what you yourself found very plausible—she and Megumi would make a fine match.
It wasn't your intention at all, but ever since you saw him and Nobara at the toy shop together, pulling for popular merchandises in gacha box, you started losing confidence in yourself and inadvertently put this distance between you and him.
At first it was subtle, Megumi didn't even realize it. But when your replies were few and far in between, he decided it was time to address the problem.
"You don't answer my texts," he stated one day, barely catching you at campus during the lunchtime. Now that he thought about it, you kept denying his lunch invitations too. "Are you avoiding me?"
"I, um," you stuttered. You didn't anticipate running into him, to be honest, and so you were at loss of words. "It isn't like that..."
Megumi figured that he had done something to make you feel like you should avoid him, but he didn't want the two of you to be in this awkward situation any longer, so he led you away from the crowd to your usual place of hanging out after lunch—the rooftop.
"Have I done something?" he asked warily. "It's okay, you can tell me."
"No, Megumi, I—"
"I don't want us to be like—this," Megumi said, his face contorting with a deep frown. "I don't like it at all."
Typically, he regarded friendships as a pain, but not with you. Not with the girl he had been pining over for who knows how long now.
Yuji's sister. He had to remind himself of that fact so many times and yet his heart didn't seem to get it. You were his best friend's dearest sister, and yet he fell for you regardless. If Yuji knew, he would definitely had some opinions on this.
And so for the last few months, he kept it hidden under his sleeves. He approached you, befriended you, took you out on lunch dates—acting on his growing feelings for you and yet he didn't have the courage to confess still.
But enough was enough. If not confessing meant losing you altogether, then he was willing to take the risk. At the very least, if you did reject him, he would have gone down with a fight.
"Y/N, I don't know if you're already aware of this or not, but..." he gulped. Apparently this wasn't as easy as he thought, especially when you met his gaze with your cutely confused ones.
"I have feelings for you. I... like you, quite much."
His voice was clear, without any hint of doubt. You were taken aback and widened your eyes out of surprise.
"You do...?" you shyly asked him back, finding it hard to believe. Fushiguro Megumi, the boy you've been crushing on since you were 15, when you were only able to hide behind Yuji and saw him from afar. The boy who once was indifferent to you, was now confessing his feelings for you? He liked you back in the same way you liked him?
"I do," he replied with clarity, and then a smile. That small smile that always made your insides do somersaults. "I want to ask you out for a while now, but since well... you know... out of consideration for your brother, I felt like I couldn't simply whisk you away."
To his surprise, you laughed, and Megumi found himself breathless. The way you laugh was so mesmerizing in his eyes, reminding him why he could fall in love with you in the first place.
"I like you too, Megumi."
And that was all he needed. Apparently that confirmation was enough to forget that you were the sister of his long-time friend, and that it was fine even if you were. After all, since when was it a crime to romance your best friend's sister?
Still, you two decided to keep it under the wraps first. Springing this on Yuji would startle him, you reasoned, and he agreed. It was more convenient this way anyways.
Your relationship with Megumi was a happy one. He was curt, but never failed to look out for you. He remembered things you liked, and would take you out on places you wanted to go. Arguments were there—granted, sometimes he was just too stubborn, so you may have a clash of opinions—but in the end, the two of you always managed to work it out.
But there was always something melancholic in Megumi that you weren't sure you could touch at all. Perhaps it was due to his upbringing—his incomplete family. You tried to fill that gap, giving him many fun and happy memories, hoping it would replace his sad ones. He was grateful for that.
Nonetheless, the reality persisted that your brother, Yuji, remained completely oblivious to all of this. Yuji still thought that you were his innocent younger sister, and Megumi was his best bro. Sometimes you felt bad to do all this behind his back, and yet you made no move to rectify it.
“Hey, let’s ask Fushiguro to join too!” Yuji would say, and you would agree. And then, in front of him, you and Megumi would refrain from being too friendly, and he would be none the wiser.
All things have karma. You have built your karma too, for deceiving your kind and sweet brother.
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"Fushiguro! How could you?!"
When Yuji's fist collided with his jaw, honestly Megumi had given up on fighting back, because one, there was no chance of winning against him, and two, your scream pierced the air, filled with worry for him.
You two just had to be found out in the worst way possible—while making out. It was wrong in so many levels in the first place. Why and how did you even initiate making out in your house that you shared with your brother?
"It could've been anyone," Yuji fumed with anger, his teeth clenching. "Anyone at all! And yet it has to be Y/N—my own sister! Fushiguro, have you ever considered the magnitude of betrayal this is to me?"
"Yuji! Please stop!" you tried to intervene. "He's not at wrong—it was me who—"
"No, you don't get any say in this!" for the first time, you saw your kind brother got angry and it made you quiver in fear. Yuji had never been angry, not to you. "You too, Y/N. How could do this behind my back? The least you could do is telling me!"
"I'm an adult!" you stressed, now irritated at this display of protectiveness from him. "I can date whoever I want and you can't just punch the man who happens to be my boyfriend!"
Honestly, if asked, Yuji wasn’t like 100% against your relationship with Megumi. He and Megumi practically grew up together, he knew the best and worst parts of him, and overall he still considered him decent.
But what made it hurt was that the two of you decided to leave him out. It made him doubt everything he knew about his best friend. How could he trust his sister to someone he found hard to trust?
He turned to Megumi, who was still slumped on the floors of his garage. “No. If he really likes you that much, then he will willingly accept this.”
Megumi understood, if his own sister was dating… let’s say, someone like Gojo, whom he trusted but not at the same time, he too would definitely beat the crap out of him.
And so he willingly endured all the blows. Yuji had to let off steam, and this pain was worth everything if it meant he would give his blessing for you.
Yuji was taken aback that his friend actually let him do this. When Megumi got thrown one last time and almost passed out, Yuji finally decided that it was the end.
His best friend and his sister… it was almost laughable if he didn’t feel like the biggest fool between the two of you.
He saw how you immediately sauntered towards him with tears in your eyes, muttering several apologies. Yuji wanted to snort, but then Megumi took a hold of your hand that was on his bruised cheek, and smiled, saying that it was okay.
And despite himself, his heart felt warm. Seeing the usual gruff and cold Megumi be this… soft with you seemed to open his eyes to something more.
Looking back, he could’ve had realized it when Megumi started to get touchy with you. He completely missed that the head pats were actually his subtle way of expressing his fondness for you.
Yuji decided to leave you be. At least he had made his point across, and he hated to say it outright, but perhaps, it was okay after all for you to be with him.
Okay didn’t mean you two had obtained his full blessing, though. But another event soon changed his perspective.
“Itadori,” Megumi’s ragged breaths was what he registered first through the sudden phone call. “Please come here—Y/N—she was—”
It was Yuji’s first time to witness pure panic from Megumi. He proceeded to tell him how you had been in pain and then collapsed, and that he had brought you to the hospital.
When Yuji arrived at the hospital, he once again saw how restless his friend was over your wellbeing. He could no longer deny it—the sight moved him.
“Hey, you awake?” Megumi’s face was the first you saw when you awoke at the hospital bed. He looked so concerned, a frown creased deep in his face. “Are you not in pain anymore?”
No, not quite much anymore, you wanted to say, but your throat felt so dry and you only managed to shake your head lightly.
“That’s good,” he let out a relieved sigh, and that was when you notice your brother at the corner of the room, looking at you two with a somewhat exasperated expression, but then he smiled.
Who knew a severe case of appendicitis would lead to Yuji giving his complete approval for you to date his best friend, huh?
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But life is nothing if not full of obstacles. The next obstacle you faced after Yuji’s finding out was your parents.
“Look Y/N, we know. Megumi is a good guy,” you mother started. “We've known him for a long time, of course, personality-wise, we have nothing against him.”
You bit your lower lip in frustration. Beside you at the dinner table, Yuji kept his silence, but listened attentively too.
“It’s just… the matters of his family,” your father added, carefully choosing his words.
“His father is never in the picture, is he? And there are also rather unsettling news about him too.” Your mother was always the one being more straightforward.
Both you and Yuji knew it already. As of now, Megumi only had his stepsister, and last you heard, his father was gambling somewhere and then became a convict. Megumi said he had cut ties with him, but there was no such thing as an ex-father. Until forevermore, Fushiguro Toji, a criminal, was his biological father.
“Mom, I know your concern,” Yuji had finally decided to step up, and you were grateful for that. “Fushiguro won’t end up—”
“Yes, we know,” your mother emphasized, letting out a sigh. “But we are your parents, Yuji, Y/N. If there’s even the slightest chance, we worry. We want the best for you. Always.”
You were at a loss.
You were young, and yet you already saw him in your distant future. Being with Megumi felt so right and comfortable. He was your safe space as you were his.
But you also understood where your parents’ concerns came from, or at least tried to. At least until you found out how your father approached Megumi to talk him into thinking your relationship over.
"How could you, Dad?" you asked, aghast. "You're... practically intimidating him into breaking up with me!"
"Y/N, listen—I never meant it like that," your father tried to explain himself, and yet you were already too heartbroken to hear him, and so you shut the door to your room, not giving him any chance.
Why did your relationship suddenly become everyone's business? Why couldn't they just let you be an adult?
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Megumi could still hear your father's words rang in his ears.
"Y/N... we raised her with love and care," your father said with a forlorn expression. By all means, Megumi knew that he meant well. "She's always spoiled, my only daughter... Megumi-kun, you must understand, it's not easy for us too."
He knew that his rather colorful past would get in the way one way or another, and he had come to accept it. But it still stung, because of course, he wanted full blessings from the family of the girl he fell in love with.
You were like a ray of sunshine in his dreary life. Like Yuji, your presence had made an impact on him. Your cute smiles, pouts and vulnerability around him... he loved them all.
He would get upset when you looked sad, just as you were now.
"It's really okay... Y/N." He swiftly wiped your tears with his thumb, as you sniffled. "I didn't take it to heart. Your father is just worried about you... I can understand that."
"But still—h-he shouldn't do that," you replied amidst your small sobs. Above all, you didn't want your father to have spooked him. "Megumi... I don't want to break up with you."
And honestly he didn't expect that. You were afraid of him... leaving you?
He, who did everything he could, just to have you to be by his side?
"Sir, I know where you are coming from. As of now, I don't have much. But I can say this with confidence—I... love your daughter very much, and I will do everything in my power to make sure that she is happy."
"Stupid," he huffed, putting a hand on your head, before messing up your hair. And gosh, you were so cute, glaring at him through your lashes.
"I won't. I've told your father that too actually."
"Just give me two years," Megumi added with unwavering voice, staring at your father earnestly. "After graduation, I'm getting my life in order. I'll secure a stable job and do my best. I'm... going to prove it to you, and you can be the judge if I can finally deserve Y/N or not."
He was 16 when he knew you, seeing you as nothing but a little girl too timid to approach him. And he was 19 when he realized that you were everything he wanted in a girl of his dreams.
At one point in his life, Megumi thought it was okay to be alone. But ever since getting to know you, he realized that loving and being loved by you were the greatest happiness of existence.
"Thank you," he muttered afterwards, as you were still starstruck that he apparently had the balls to declare something like that before your father.
"Thank you for giving me so much love. Because of you, I realized that I too deserve to be loved."
You could feel tears glassing your eyes once again. “You are. I’m glad that you finally think so.”
And that was it—your love story. Something that had started when you were 15, and ended ten years later when you were 25, with swearing your love for each other in front of the sacred altar before your closest family and friends, and Megumi by your side.
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cressidagrey · 3 months ago
Text
Looked to the Sky - Chapter 6
Summary: 
Eira Archeron was neither a Valkyrie, nor a Seer, nor the High Lady of the Night Court. She was, however, Azriel‘s mate with her own mysterious, untrained powers.
Also known as: Azriel tries to court his mate the human way.
Warnings: 
THIS IS THE LIGHTNING IN A BOTTLE SEQUEL! SO READ THAT FIRST IF YOU WANNA READ THIS ONE OTHERWISE THIS MAKES NO SENSE!
Elain Bashing, Amren bashing, Azriel is an idiot, Eira has a well-deserved crying fit and without @k-godling this would have never happened.
(super pretty dividers by @tsunami-of-tears)
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"Do I want to know what your mother said to you?" Cassian asked him with a sigh the next morning. They were at the River House. 
Eira was still sleeping. Or again. Resting. Pure exhaustion apparent in every fibre of her being. She had stumbled up the stairs the night before, fell into her bed and hadn’t moved. Feyre and Nesta were both with her, had been with her since then... 
Azriel let out a small huff, and glanced at Cassian from his couch seat.
“No,” he said bluntly. “No, you really don’t want to know.”
"You're brooding," Cassian pointed out. Azriel snorted at his brother’s observation, crossing his arms.
“And you’re observant,” he said dryly. “Your point?”
Cassian huffed in amused annoyance and shoved him playfully. “Come on. Out with it,” he said, propping his feet on the coffee table, his wings shifting behind him. “You’ve been quiet and broody and grumpy all morning. You need to talk about it.”
"Talk about what? Talk about the fact that whatever Amren said to my mate was enough to push her head first into a panic so bad that she winnowed? Burned down half a forest accidentally?" Azriel asked, his voice forcedly even. "Or about the fact that I needed my mother to call me out on my bullshit because I am a fucking idiot ?"
"Language," Rhys said with a sigh, trying and failing to feed Nyx his porridge.
Cassian rolled his eyes in annoyance at Rhys’s words, while Azriel gave his high lord a flat look.
“Are you seriously going to get on me for my language?” he asked Rhys dryly. “Out of everything I just said?
"I do not need a fight with Feyre, because our son starts repeating your curse words," Rhys muttered.
Cassian snorted at that, and Azriel couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth, shaking his head.
Somehow, even right now, when everything was such a mess, Rhys still managed to find ways to be a caring father.
“Can we focus on something more important?” Azriel said, his voice a grumble. “Like the fact that I’m failing as a mate?”
Cassian’s snort turned into a choke at Azriel’s comment, his eyes going wide. “Failing as a mate? You? You’re kidding, right?”
Azriel scowled at Cassian’s shocked response.
“And how exactly is it possible that I’m not failing?” he demanded, his hands clenching into fists. “Because I can think of many, many ways, Cass.”
“What exactly have you done that qualifies as failure?” Cassian countered, shifting position so that he mirrored Azriel’s pose. “Because I’m really drawing a blank.”
"I fancied myself in love with her twin sister and pretty much used Eira as nothing but a source of information about Elain. Then, when I realised that Eira was my mate, I asked for permission to court her and within that conversation somehow found it prudent to say that Elain was the pretty one but Eira was the kind one and would protect our children fiercely. Then I gave her a harp as a courting gift, while she needed to sell her old one to keep her family from starving and nobody ever even thought about the fact that maybe that would bring up some bad memories. Then instead of asking what she wanted to do, I decided on the symphony, where I spent 3 hours sitting next to her in silence because all I could concentrate on was the fact that she held my hand . I have no fucking clue if sewing and baking and cooking are actually her hobbies or just the chores she liked best and I don't even know her favourite colour. Tell me how I am not failing, Cassian!"
Cassian opened and closed his mouth a few times, clearly at a loss for words.
Azriel let out a weary sigh and closed his eyes, scrubbing a hand over his jaw.
He knew he had screwed up. That he had failed miserably in so many ways. But saying the words aloud…hearing them said out loud…somehow just made it even more real.
He slumped down in his seat, burying his head in his hands.
“You…you really are an idiot, Az…” Cassian finally managed to say, his voice quiet as he spoke. 
Azriel knew that. 
"I told Nesta that everybody hates her," Cassian admitted quietly. "I didn't tell her that I loved her until after our fucking mating ceremony. I have no clue what her favourite colour is either, now that I am thinking about it."
When Cassian told him that, Azriel’s eyes flew open and he looked up at his brother, his jaw slackening.
“You what?” he demanded, not quite believing what he’d just heard.
"Not my best moments," Cassian admitted drily.
Azriel let out a choked snort at his brother’s reply, and he buried his head in his hands again.
“And you said I’m the idiot?” he asked faintly.
“We’re both idiots,” Cassian said matter-of-factly, flopping back against the couch cushions. “Maybe all males are idiots.”
"I didn't tell Feyre about the dangers the pregnancy put her in," Rhys said quietly. "I didn't tell her we were mates at first either. I am sure there are dozens of other things I did, where I failed as a mate."
Azriel sighed, and he let his hand drop to his lap, shaking his head in disbelief.
“You’re really not helping,” he said, his voice quiet. “I shouldn’t feel better about being a failure as a mate because my brothers are failures too.“
Cassian snickered at Azriel’s response, but Rhys let out a huff and gave him an amused smile.
“I’m just saying,” he began, his eyes soft. “You’re far from the only person to have ever messed up with a mate, Azriel. Hell, the list of things I did wrong with Feyre is longer than your arm.”
Azriel closed his eyes again, letting out a sigh as he rested his head back against the couch cushions.
He knew that Rhys was right. Knew that all the males around him were speaking the truth. He wasn’t the only one to have messed up with a mate.
But somehow, knowing that didn’t make the knowledge that he had failed feel any less raw. Any less painful.
“I don’t want to fail,” Azriel said quietly. “I don’t want to put her through…this pain. But I feel like that’s all I’m doing. All I did was let my own emotions and wants and desires drown out what Eira really needed“
"Then maybe you should ask Eira what Eira actually wants," Cassian said with a snort.
...And he was already back to making the exact same error as before, wasn't he? That should have been his first thought.
Azriel closed his eyes again, letting out another weary sigh.
“How?” he mumbled. “How do I go to her and say ‘Hey, I realize that I did everything wrong so far. And I failed you and I’m an idiot, so how about you and I can start everything over from the beginning?’”
A hand, strong and heavy, descended on the top of his head and ruffled his hair.
“By doing it,” Rhys said firmly, a hint of a smile on his face. “By looking her straight in the eye and telling her what you just admitted to us. She deserves the honesty.“
“And when she says ‘no’? When she says she wants nothing to do with a failure and idiot of a male like me?” Azriel asked bitterly. “What then?”
"She won't," Rhys said calmly. "She won't, Azriel. She has been in love with you for years."
Azriel let out a sharp huff at Rhys’s statement. “Even more reason not to take me back,” he grumbled in response. “She’s loved me for that long and that’s all I come up with? Silence and stupidity? If I were her, I would reject me too."
"Just talk to her," Cassian said with a sigh. "We have enough other problems to deal with that aren't your brooding, Az."
There were so many other things to deal with. So many other things more important than his brooding.
Maybe there weren't many other things that were more important than his relationship with Eira, but still…
“Fine,” he mumbled at last, his shoulders slumping. “I’ll talk to her.” 
He needed to talk to her. Once she was awake. In the meantime… "What did you do to Amren?" he asked Rhys, who looked up startled.
“We had words,” Rhys said clippedly. “I suggested that she'll stay with Varian in the Summer Court for a few weeks. She’ll be welcome in Velaris when she can apologise to Eira and actually mean it.” Rhys’ voice was icy when he said that. “And I am due to have another conversation with Morrigan because I am not letting her get away with it either. Which reminds me, Cassian, you also owe Eira an apology,” Rhys pointed out evenly.
Cassian grimaced. “I know,” he admitted with a sigh. “I just really doubt that she wants to hear it,” he admitted quietly. 
Rhys sighed. "Which brings me to our next problem: I didn't want to push it...but we need to get Eira to train."
Azriel inhaled deeply and closed his eyes for a brief moment.
Of course, they would need to talk about that. Part of him was even surprised that Rhys had waited that long to bring up training.
"She needs control," Rhys continued, holding up a hand. "I am not talking about training her to kill anybody. I am talking about her learning to control her...lightning. And maybe some self-defence if she is up to that."
Azriel nodded in agreement. As much as he hated the thought of any sort of violence being aimed toward Eira — hated the mere idea of seeing her get hurt again — he knew that Rhys was right.
She needed to know how to control herself. To protect herself. She needed to know how to fight.
Azriel nodded again, raking a trembling hand back through his hair.
A part of him felt like he was betraying Eira by agreeing to this. Like he was failing her again. But another part, the part of him that was a warrior, that knew how to fight, that knew the dangers that came with not being able to defend yourself…that part of him agreed with Rhys.
"I'll be the bad guy," Rhys said with a sigh. "I'll be the one asking her. I hope I'll get away without outright ordering her."
Azriel let a small huff at Rhys’s comment.
He knew that if anyone had a chance at convincing Eira to train, it would be Rhys. But that didn’t help the pang of guilt at the thought of his mate receiving further training — being forced into training to begin with.
“And this arrived yesterday,” Rhys said with a sigh as he dropped an envelope in front of them. 
Azriel’s mouth flattened as he looked down at the envelope, his heart dropping at the sight of the Day Court symbol.
Cassian let out an identical, weary sigh as they also caught sight of the symbol.
Everyone in the room knew what that invitation meant.
"Feyre and I are required to attend," Rhys said quietly. "If Nesta won't go...there will be talk. Maybe less talk if Eira doesn't attend, but there will be talk about strive between the sisters, regardless of what information we feed them."
Azriel had to grit his teeth to hold back from letting out a snarl.
He knew Rhys was right. Knew that there would be talk no matter what.
But the thought of Eira being forced to attend that wedding...forced to endure Elain’s presence… He clenched his fist and took in a deep breath through his nose.
He was not going to like this. “If Eira goes, I go,” he spat out. 
Rhys’s mouth flattened for a moment, and Azriel braced himself for a fight.
Instead, his brother just gave him a short nod. “I expected nothing less, brother,” he said quietly.
****
Eira had slept. The first restful night in quite a while.
She still felt exhausted. Still felt like the world around her was...blurry. But it didn’t feel like all her energy had been sapped from her body, forcing her into unconsciousness.
It was an improvement.
"How are you feeling?" Feyre asked her softly. Nesta and she were curled around Eira in her bed...reminding her of their days in that bed in that cottage. Just one thing was lacking: Elain.
“I’m...better than I was last night,” she mumbled truthfully, pulling her blanket tighter around her shoulders. “…Still tired though.”
"You winnowed without training. That should probably be expected," Nesta said drily. 
"You also nearly put Amren on fire with your lightning," Feyre said with a grimace, and Eira flinched.
"She had that coming," Nesta growled. "What did she tell you? Were you a waste of life as well?" Eira flinched again, wrapping the blanket tighter around herself.
She didn’t want to talk about Amren. Didn’t want to talk about anything that had happened. Didn’t want to think about anything that had happened.
She just wanted to…sleep. She wanted to forget. Let her eyelids close. Drift away. Not feel so goddamn tired…
"She told her that not training her powers was a waste," Feyre said quietly. "That Eira owed it to me because I hunted and apparently kept her alive . It was absolutely out of line and ridiculous."
A fresh wave of heat rushed to Eira’s cheeks as Feyre explained what had happened, and a pang of shame went to her stomach. 
Because Amren was right. She did owe it to Feyre. That, and so much more. Feyre had cared for her. Hunted for her. Protected her. And what had Eira done in return? Nothing. Nothing but fail.
“You know-“ she began to ask, her words cutting awkwardly off as she felt a pang of guilt stabbed her chest.
“Yeah, I know what she said to you,” Feyre replied, her eyes soft. “Rhys got the whole thing out of her…He had a few things to say…I had a few choice words to say to her myself.”
Eira’s heart dropped into her stomach. She should’ve known that Rhys would have found out. He seemed to find out everything sooner or later. She winced, suddenly feeling even more guilty.
"I am sorry," Eira whispered. "I didn't want...I'll...I'll train. I'll learn how to control it. I'll..." She would hate every minute but if it made it easier for Feyre, she would...
“No,” Feyre told her softly, but firmly. “You will not be doing anything to make my life easier, Eira. You owe me nothing. Do you understand me?”
She wrapped her arms around Eira tightly and rested her head against Eira’s shoulder.
“You don’t have to do anything. For me. For anyone. Understand?” she murmured softly. 
"Training would be a good idea, but you don't need to do that for me," Feyre whispered. "Do it for yourself, Eira."
Eira’s throat tightened, and she swallowed thickly.
She didn’t want to do any sort of training. She didn’t want to do anything in that moment.
She just wanted to lie in bed. Forget about the world. And yet…she knew that training would be a smart idea. That she did need to learn how to control her...lightning. And she didn’t want a repeat of last night. With great reluctance, she swallowed again. “I…alright,” she mumbled. “I’ll…I’ll train. And learn how to control…my…lightning.“
She hated the words as soon as they escaped her mouth, but she didn’t take them back. She knew it was the right thing to do…even if she didn’t like it.
"I know you're not looking forward to it," Feyre said drily, and Eira smiled despite herself. A tiny, reluctant smile, but a smile nonetheless.
"Who's…going to…" she began, before trailing off. “Who's going to be training me?”
"Not Amren," Nesta snapped immediately.
The words were like a weight being lifted from Eira’s chest. She was relieved more than she cared to admit that Amren wouldn’t be the one training her…and then guilt immediately set in. She shouldn’t feel so relieved. So happy. Amren had done nothing but be harsh but the truth to her, and yet…she still couldn’t stop herself from being happy that the female wouldn’t be training her.
“…That, we know already,” Feyre deadpanned as she shot her sister a fond smile. “But you’re right. Nobody is thinking about having Amren train Eira. It’ll probably be Rhys if you are comfortable with that.”
She took a deep breath.
Rhys.
Rhys was…good. She could deal with Rhsy training her. Out of all the options…he was good. It could be worse, she tried to tell herself.
“Doesn't he have...anything more important to do?” Eira asked hesitantly.
She knew that Rhys was the High Lord and…surely he didn’t have time to deal with her. Surely, he had more important things to deal with than training some…somebody like her. 
She was…waste of time, and she didn’t want to be any more of a burden on him than she already was.
“He’ll figure it out,” Feyre replied, giving her a soft smile. “He’ll make time, Eira. He’s good like that.”
Nesta made an annoyed sound, making Feyre roll her eyes.
Eira swallowed again, the words not really doing anything to reassure her that she wasn’t wasting Rhys’s time.
Rhys was important. The High Lord. He shouldn’t have to waste his time with her . She knew that she couldn’t say those things. Couldn’t make Feyre or Nesta realize how ridiculous this whole thing was…how insane it was to have the High Lord of the Night Court as her teacher .
“It’ll be fine,” Feyre repeated, giving her shoulders a gentle squeeze. "Now...how was...your meeting with Azriel's mother yesterday?" Feyre asked. "I need to admit, I didn't even know that his mother was still....alive," she admitted with a grimace.
"He mentions her...very rarely," Nesta disagreed quietly. "She's a seamstress though...She made him a jacket he wore for solstice once."
Eira hadn't known that…but then she also hadn’t known that his mother was still alive. He had never mentioned her to Eira at all. And Esmeray…Esmeray was the last thing Eira wanted to talk about. Eira didn't want to walk about...about what she had said.
"She…was nice. Sweet, like Azriel," Eira answered quietly, swallowing. "She was...maternal. Not like our mother was." It was true. She was sweet…kind…lovely. 
Feyre and Nesta exchanged a glance. "But?" Feyre prompted her quietly. "Did she say....anything?"
Eira didn’t say anything, just closed her eyes. “Talk to us,” Nesta said softly. “What did she say, Eira?” 
"She figured out who I was after I told her my first name...and then she said that Azriel is fond of me but he is fonder of Elain..and that it's too bad that she is mated to another," Eira blurted out, her voice shaky. "He didn't tell her...He didn't tell her that our…that the mating bond had snapped." She could feel the tears burn in her eyes.
"Oh, Eira," Feyre breathed, sounding heartbroken for her.
"I am going to fucking kill him," Nesta muttered.
“Get in line,” Feyre grumbled, and Eira could just feel the scowl her friend was shooting at Azriel in her head.
She swallowed again, feeling the guilt and the shame and the hurt and the….everything, rising up in her chest.
She didn’t want to be upset at this. Didn’t want to feel like…like she had a claim over Azriel, but she couldn’t help the painful pang in her chest at the words Esmeray had said.
Too bad that Elain is mated to another… 
He is fonder of Elain… 
Those words, they just hurt. They burned. And she felt so...helpless.
And the thought that he hadn’t told his mother about their mating bond…it just made the pain even worse.
"Azriel...he said…when he asked me to court…he said that Elain was the pretty one but I was the kind one," Eira choked out. "He wanted her. I am just...I am just a consolation prize to him, aren't I?"
For a moment it was silent. 
"First of all," Feyre said firmly, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "You are not a consolation prize. Don't ever let me hear you say that again, alright? You are not a consolation prize, you are a treasure ."
"Second," she continued, her voice growing cold. "He is an idiot. Who the hell tells you that? Why would he say that?"
Eira shrugged, feeling her eyes burn.
She didn't know. She didn't understand why he would say that. Why he had said any of what he had said? 
But she knew that...part of her, part of her hoped that he had meant it in an endearing way. That he had called her kind because he liked that about her.
"I thought...I thought just having him could be enough," she whispered. "But how am I supposed to live my whole life knowing that he would be happier if he was mated to Elain? To be compared to her day, after day, and found lacking?"
"For Fuck's sake, Eira!" Nesta snapped.
"He only wants me because of the bond. And maybe because of the vision he saw...he wants the babies we would have together, but he doesn't want me," she choked out. "Every other female would suffice as well."
"Stop that. You know that's not true," Feyre said firmly, wrapping an arm around Eira's shoulders again. "He cares about you; I've seen it for myself."
Eira choked on a bitter laugh. "What does it matter," she whimpered. "He might care...but Elain is still what he wants. Nothing will change that...not even the Mating Bond."
"Azriel...he's an idiot," Nesra agreed angrily. "A complete idiot who can't see that you...you're right in front of him. Yeah, Elain may be the most beautiful out of us all, but she’s clearly bone deep ugly, if she…she tried to keep your babies from you?” Nesta asked and Eira just nodded, tears pouring out of her eyes. 
“A girl,” she choked out. “A girl. Azriel’s wings but my hair. We looked so happy in that stupid vision. And I was pregnant again.” 
Feyre’s mouth fell open as she stared at Eira in shock, while Nesta’s eyes hardened furiously. “She...really…” Feyre’s voice trailed off, sounding heartbroken.
Nesta let out a loud, furious snarl. “She’s a monster . Elain is a monster ,” she spat, her hands forming into fists. 
“She…she tried to keep my babies from me,” Eira repeated, tears dripping down her cheeks. “Azriel and I…looking happy…and...and now...I..."
She had to pause, the tears making it impossible for her to continue.
Both Feyre and Nesta wrapped their arms around her, hugging her tightly.
“It’s not fair,” she choked out. “It’s not fair. I saw us. I saw how happy we were…”
It was as clear as day in her memory. That vision of them in that garden, of Azriel kissing her, of the little girl being hoisted up in the air by him…
Eira had looked so happy. Everything had been so perfect, so right…it had almost made her dizzy. It had been everything she had ever wanted. 
Only to have it ripped away. To know that she’d had a chance at happiness, a chance at…of a family, of everything that she had always wanted…only to have it ripped away so cruelly…
It hurt. It hurt more than anything she’d ever felt in her entire life.
"It's not fair," she mumbled hopelessly, burying her face against Feyre's shoulder, tears streaming down her cheeks. "It's not fair...He wouldn’t have even cared…he wouldn’t have even…looked in my direction…if the bond hadn’t snapped…he wouldn’t even have looked at me…”
Don't cry, the shadows whispered, coming to wrap around her hands. Don't cry. Master was an utter fool. Blinded by a pretty face. But he does care about you. 
She let out a sob, feeling more of the shadows slide up her arms to wrap around her.
She didn’t know that. Azriel cared…but it didn’t change how he felt about Elain. It didn’t change that he didn’t care for her, for Eira. He only…he only wanted her because of the bond.
He only felt responsible for her because they were mates. All the...feelings...he had towards her...were all just because of the bond.
The shadows only continued to coil around her as she wept silently into Feyre’s shoulder, her heart aching.
She had known from the beginning that Azriel didn’t care for her beyond the bond.
But...until she had heard what Esmeray had said, and learned that he hadn’t told her the truth, she’d still had some tiny part of hope. Some small, stupid part of her that had clung to the hope that maybe, maybe, he would start to feel for her the same way that she felt for him.
"I loved him from the moment I saw him. I looked at him and it was...it was like coming home," she choked out.
“Of course you did,” Feyre said softly, gently stroking her hair as the tears continued to fall. “Of course you did…”
Nesta said nothing, the only sound that escaped her was a low, furious huff.
"I am really going to kill him," she hissed.
“Save some for me,” Feyre grumbled as she held Eira fiercely, her free hand rubbing soothing circles into her back.
His Mother had words for Master, the shadows said quietly, coiling themselves into her hair. He's brooding. 
“Good,” Nesta said firmly. “I hope he’s miserable.”
“Nes,” Feyre said quietly, giving her sister a gentle nudge.
“What?!” Nesta said, scowling. “Seriously, he deserves it.”
Eira couldn’t help the tiny part of her that felt bad for him…that felt guilty thinking about him being miserable.
She knew Azriel didn’t love her, and didn’t feel the same way, but…a part of her cared about him. She didn’t want him to be miserable.
 "Why is he brooding?" she asked quietly.
The shadows hummed again, making a soft whispering sound before they spoke again.
His Mother told him he was an idiot. 
"She did?" Feyre perked up in surprise, while Nesta’s mouth curled into a satisfied smirk.
Yes, the shadows confirmed, coiling themselves into Eira’s hair like a strange, sentient snake.
It made something warm stir in Eira’s chest, imagining Esmeray calling Azriel an idiot to his face. Master realised that he hasn't been doing right to you...Not with the courting and not with...anything else. 
The words made more tears burn in Eira’s eyes, while Feyre shifted to give her a gentle hug.
“He’s realising, huh?” she grumbled. “That he’s been screwing up?”
Yes. The shadows coiled a little tighter around her, almost as if they were trying to comfort her. It made her heart ache in a different way, feeling warm and painful at the same time.
Will you talk to him? the shadows asked softly. Let him apologise? 
She was upset, she was hurt. She didn’t want to talk to him. She wanted to avoid him and forget this whole mess even happened.
But the shadows...they wanted her to talk to him. They…wanted her to let him apologize.
Another wave of guilt and shame washed over her.
Azriel had done…nothing wrong. He hadn’t done anything wrong, he merely didn’t…care towards her.
He wanted the bond, he wanted the comfort, he wanted a mate, he just…he just didn’t want her .
The thought made a fresh wave of tears fill her eyes, which she promptly buried against Feyre’s shoulder.
Feyre hugged her tightly, while Nesta gently rubbed her back as the shadows continued to coil themselves around her. “It’s alright,” Feyre whispered soothingly, as more shadows drifted down to comfort her. “It’s going to be alright.”
The shadows continued to hum and shift, wrapping themselves around her like a protective, comforting blanket. It was somewhat soothing, the sensation of their coolness, the feel of them wrapping around her, almost like they were trying to tell her it would be alright.
Master has a lot to say to you, the shadows spoke up again. Please, just listen to him, Eira. 
So she just nodded.
Thank you. 
The shadows hummed again, coiling a little tighter around her, and it was almost as if she could feel a sort of pleasure coming from them that she had agreed to talk to Azriel, to listen to whatever he had to say.
"But they'll stay," she choked out, pulling Nesta's hand tight around herself.
“Of course,” Feyre said instantly, wrapping her arms around her as well. “We’ll both stay. We’re not going anywhere.”
“Damn right,” Nesta said, tightening her grip as well. “I may need to restrain myself from knocking any sense into him.”
In any other situation, Eira may have laughed at that, but instead, all she did was give a shaky nod, letting herself be pulled in tight by her sisters.
The gesture was comfort, the feel of them around her reassuring and warm, even as her heart ached in her chest.
A few seconds later, the door opened slowly, and Azriel walked into the room.
Every bit of his usually impassive, stoic demeanour was gone, replaced by a look of anxiety and worry. Eira could see the tension in his shoulders, and the way his hands were clenched into fists.
He stopped a few meters away from them, his gaze locking on Eira instantly.
She could feel his eyes raking over her, like a physical caress, taking in the sight of her clearly tear-stained face. The way her hands were being clutched by Feyre and Nesta.
He looked desperate like he wanted to walk over and touch her, but one glimpse at the way Feyre and Nesta had her wrapped in their arms had him hesitating.
"How...how are you feeling?" he asked her, and she could see his throat bob as he swallowed.
“How do you think she is, you idiot?” Nesta snapped, her voice low and cutting.
Azriel didn't pay any attention to her, his gaze firmly locked on Eira, staring at her as if he was waiting for her to say something.
And Eira…she had no idea what to say. She had absolutely no idea.
She sat there silently, letting words and thoughts and questions swirl in her mind, but saying nothing. And it only seemed to make the tension in Azriel’s shoulders grow even more, the worry in his gaze deepened.
“Eira…” he breathed out, his voice soft and raw, and she could see his hands twitch like he wanted to reach for her. “Can…can we talk?”
Both Feyre and Nesta tensed, their grip on her tightening.
"You can talk. She will listen," Nesta said, her voice icy. "And then she can decide if she wants to take pity on you, or if she never wants to see you again. Did you seriously tell my sister that Elain was prettier than her in the same breath as you asked to court her?!?"
Azriel closed his eyes, looking pained at that, and she could see his shoulders slump. But he didn’t deny it, didn’t try to defend himself, and Eira just…felt her heart ache even more.
"I was an idiot," he said quietly, his voice low and thick. "I…I was a fool."
He sounded so miserable when he said that, and something in Eira just…wanted to tell him to stop, to tell him that this was hurting her more than he seemed to comprehend…but she just sat there, saying nothing, letting the tears still fall silently down her cheeks.
Azriel took a few steps closer, his gaze still firmly fixed on her. He looked miserable, like a wounded animal, like he was in pain.
And a small part of her…a small, stupid part of her wanted to reach out to him. Wanted to tell him it was going to be alright, to hug him and tell him she wasn’t angry.
But it wasn’t going to be alright, and she was angry. So she said nothing.
The silence seemed to drag on, the tension rising thicker in the room. The two sisters held her tighter still, their hands clenched around her, their own gazes fixed on Azriel, shooting glares at him.
It made him look even more miserable, and she could see him taking another cautious step forward.
“Eira…” he tried again, his voice so soft and pleading. “Please, please say something…”
The silence seemed to drag on, the tension rising thicker in the room. The two sisters held her tighter still, their hands clenched around her, their own gazes fixed on Azriel, shooting glares at him.
It made him look even more miserable, and she could see him taking another cautious step forwards.
“Eira…” he tried again, his voice so soft and pleading. “Please, please say something…”
"What do you want me to say, Azriel?" she asked, her voice weak. She wanted to scream and shout but she didn't have it in herself.
"What do you want me to say? Do you want me to talk about how your mother had absolutely no clue that we are mates ? How she told me that you were fond of me but fonder of Elain? How it was just too bad that Elain was mated to another male?!"
She could see his body go tense at that, his eyes widening.
It hurt her, to see the realization and pain slowly spreading over his face. He knew what she had gone through, what she had to hear, the truth that his mother had revealed.
But he didn’t understand. He had absolutely no idea just how much all that had hurt her.
"I thought I was alright with it. I thought I could live with it. I could live with the fact that you didn't actually want me. That you wanted the life that vision promised you...that you were in love with my twin sister and not with me."
The words stung both Azriel and her.
She could see him shifting, and hear a low, pained sound leaving his lips. She could see something in his expression…a pain and hurt so deep she couldn’t even find the words to describe it.
"You…you think I don't want you...?" he breathed out, his voice so low she almost didn't hear it.
"You don't want me," Eira choked out. "You wanted Elain. And before that, you wanted Morrigan. And then Elain's vision promised you me and you go along with it, because of the mating bond."
Azriel flinched at that like each word was a physical blow. He looked sick, the misery on his face growing with each statement.
And a part of her was satisfied, seeing him look like that, seeing him look in pain. It was what he deserved after everything that he had done.
But the other part of her…the other part of her ached and bled at every expression of pain on his face.
The silence again continued to drag on, the air still and tense with the heavy atmosphere between the two of them.
He hadn’t denied it, she knew he hadn’t denied it. He hadn’t said that she was wrong, that she was wrong in thinking the only reason he pursued her was because of the bond.
The thought made her eyes sting, tears brimming and overflowing. Her heart ached, hurt, felt like it was bleeding.
"I am sorry," he whispered. "I am so sorry, Eira."
The words stung, just as much as they gave her hope.
Her heart was aching in her chest, tears still falling slowly down her cheeks. Her shoulders trembled, and she took in a few shaky breaths.
She had been hurt by him. He had never even considered her before the bond had snapped. And he hadn’t denied it when she had called him out on it.
And still, she wanted him to fix this. Wanted him to find some way to fix this.
"I am not...I am not going and try to defend myself," he whispered. "I am not going and lie to you. And yes, Eira. I did see that vision and I felt that Mating Bond and I did want to pursue you. Because I want that future. I want that future with you."
She wanted that future with him as well, she longed for it, but she wanted him to come to her because he wanted her. Because he desired her, the vision be damned.
But instead, she came second fiddle to an image in a vision. Instead, she came last to Elain and Mor.
"And I went about it wrong," Azriel continued. "I should have...I should have actually made the effort to get to know you, Eira. I should have talked to you. I should have asked what you wanted. I should have asked for your favourite colour. And I should have..."
He trailed off, the words leaving him in a choked gasp. Eira could see the misery on his face, the suffering.
He looked completely miserable, his hands clenching into fists, his shoulders hunched and tensed, but he kept on going, his voice thick and low in his throat.
"I should have cared. I should have seen you. I should have noticed you."
"And I can't change it. I can't change what I did know. I fucked up, Eira. I fucked up so badly, that you have every reason and every right not to want to see me for centuries."
The words stung, and Eira just…she ached.
She ached, she hurt, and everything inside her had tears welling. She ached because…she wanted to forgive him. She wanted to give him a second chance.
But the thought of being second rate again, of being the last choice…it hurt.
But…she couldn’t tear her gaze away from him, either. Couldn’t look away from the sight of how miserable he was, how distressed and in pain.
It hurt, it hurt so badly…but a part of her just wanted to hug him, to reassure him…Azriel took another few steps towards her, his eyes fixed on hers. He looked so wretched, his eyes pained, his whole body shaking as if it was taking him a monumental effort to remain standing there. To force himself to remain standing so close to her, to keep looking at her.
He was still a good few meters away from her, but the expression on his face, the look in his eyes…
It was like he was in agony.
She could see his hands clenching into fists, and could hear him taking a shaky breath.
"You…you don’t have to forgive me, or even want to talk to me again," he said, and she could hear how hard it was for him to form those words.
It hurt…it hurt seeing him look so miserable, looking like he was in pain. And it hurt because she wanted him. She still wanted him.
And the fact that it hurt was what got to her, what finally made her move. She shoved off Feyre and Nesta, who were still holding her, both of them looking startled.
They protested, clearly wanting to hold her back, but Eira pushed her way through, walking towards him.
Azriel hadn’t moved, his body going tense, his eyes going wide as she approached him.
And she hated that part of herself. She hated how much she still wanted him, despite everything that had happened. How much she ached for him, in ways that should be impossible.
It was a sharp, dull ache, a desperate and constant pain, a desire to reach out to him, to pull him closer, and at the same time, shove him as far away as possible.
She wanted to shove him away, push him further away. She wanted to tell him to suffer, to hurt the way she was hurting.
But at the same time…she wanted to pull him closer. To feel his skin against hers, under her fingertips. To feel his arms around her, holding her tight, his lips against her skin.
It was maddening. He was maddening.
“I am sorry,” he said, the truth flowing like clear spring water from his words. “I am so sorry. And I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you.”
His words…she wanted to believe them. Wanted to believe that he was being sincere, that he truly was sorry, that he wanted to make it up to her.
And a small, naive, foolish, hopeful part of her, the part that was desperate and hopeful and greedy, did believe him. Wanted to latch onto the words, to hold them tight and not let go.
“I want to get to know you. I want to learn your favourite colour and your favourite place in Velaris. I want..”
He paused, taking a shaky breath. His eyes were still fixed on hers, pleading and desperate and aching, his entire body practically aching with the need to come closer.
“I want to learn everything there is to know about you. I want to learn about your smile and your laugh and your tears. I want to be with you, Eira.”
The words…they were everything that she wanted to hear. Everything that she had wished he would tell her, and more. They felt like a caress, like a gentle breeze, a soft comfort. And they hurt.
They hurt because she wanted to believe him, wanted to reach out and hold him close. Wanted to forgive him and let herself be close to him in the way she longed for.
“I want to be with you,” he repeated, his words a choked gasp. “I want to court you. I want to mate you. I want to…I want…”
He trailed off, choking on the words, taking another deep breath. His body was shaking, his shoulders tense, his expression aching with the effort of it all.
He looked in pain, so utterly hurt, like every word out of his mouth was agony. But he was still talking, still trying to get out the words, trying to make her understand.
“I want to spend every waking moment of my day with you,” he continued, his tone so raw and open and aching. “I want to wake up with you and go to sleep with you. I want to hear your voice and see your face every damn day.”
“I’ll do better, I’ll be better,“ he whispered.
He sounded so desperate, his voice thick and raw and pleading. It was like he was being ripped apart from the inside like he was in physical pain.
And Eira…she couldn’t help it.
She couldn’t help but believe his words, couldn’t help but let her stubborn, foolish heart hope.
“Please,” he continued, his voice breaking. “Please, please give me a second chance. I’ll…”
Another breath, another choked gasp. His shoulders hunched, his fists clenching tighter.
“I’ll do anything, just please give me a second chance. Give me the chance to right this. Give me the chance to prove to you…prove to you how much I want you. Just…give me another chance.”
His voice was so raw, so open, the look in his eyes pure pleading. He looked like he was ready to beg, ready to do anything for her. Anything to give him another chance.
And her heart, her foolish, stupid, hopeless heart…the part that wanted to hold onto him, to forgive him, to give him that chance ached.
She still hurt, still ached, the words from his mother still so fresh in her mind. The thought of being second, of being his last choice…it was a sharp blow against her.
But at the same time, she couldn’t stop the part of her that wanted to hold onto him. That longed for just a chance, just a moment where he was hers, where she was first and last and everything in his heart.
Azriel looked ready to continue, but he stopped when he saw the look on her face, her conflicting emotions warring inside her chest.
He closed his eyes, his shoulders dropping. He was probably expecting her to say no, to turn him down. He probably expected her to…
To do the sensible, rational thing. But sensibility and rationality were the last things she was feeling right now.
Her heart was aching, her body trembling, her emotions a swirl of conflicting feelings. Her mind was screaming at her, telling her just how idiotic she was for considering this.
And at the same time, her heart was yearning, longing for him. Wanting to grab onto him and never let go.
Azriel’s entire body was shaking, his eyes still closed, looking like he was bracing himself for her answer, for the words he expected her to say.
The words she should say, the words that would send him away, that would make her turn and walk away.
And yet…she found herself taking a step closer towards him. And then another.
She wasn’t even sure why she was doing it, why her body was moving before she even knew it, her mind screaming at her to stop and turn around and walk away.
But she kept moving towards him, each step sending a strange, giddy rush shooting through her, her heart aching and fluttering at the same time.
And she stopped in front of him, less than a foot of space separating them, her eyes fixed on his.
Azriel still hadn’t opened his eyes, his face tense and taut as if waiting for the blow to come.
But the blow never came.
Because Eira reached out, her fingers trembling as she reached up to touch his cheek.
Azriel's entire body jerked as if he had been struck, a gasp leaving his mouth. His eyes flew open, shock and surprise clear on his face.
But he didn’t move, didn't pull away or even flinch as her fingers made contact with his skin.
He just stood there, frozen as he stared at her.
Her hand trembled, her throat tight as she felt the warmth of his skin. His face was tense, his breath catching with every moment her fingers remained against his skin, like he was fighting the urge to turn his head and press his lips to her skin.
“Eira,” he breathed out, the word a whispered plea, a prayer. And then he seemed to realize he had moved, was on the edge of reaching out to her in turn.
But he caught himself, his hands hanging at his sides. He was holding himself back, holding himself from reaching for her…
And somehow, that made her even more determined, her decision stronger.
She wanted him to reach for her, wanted his hands on her skin, wanted him to hold her close and never let go.
She slid her hand along his cheek, her palm caressing his jaw. And she stepped even closer, closing the very last bit of distance between them.
They were so close, her body almost pressed flush against him. He was so warm, his body burning, and so large, like a rock, unflinching and steady against her.
She could feel him trembling, just barely holding himself back from wrapping his arms around her. His eyes were fixed on hers, longing and pleading and aching.
Her breath caught when she realized how closely she was pressed against him, how only a fraction of distance separated their bodies. She could practically feel his racing heart under her skin, hear every quick and desperate breath leaving his mouth.
He was breathing fast, ragged and sharp, every little inhale shuddering from his lips like a gasp. He looked like he was about to snap, his entire body visibly trembling like a taut thread on the edge of snapping.
“Don’t do it again,” she said softly. “I won’t…I won’t be able to go through it a second time.”
Her words seemed to hit him like a physical blow, his breath hitching in his chest. She could see the pain that flared on his face at her words.
“I-I won’t. I swear,” he responded, and his voice was so gentle, like he was talking to a wounded bird. “I swear on my life, I’ll never let you go through that again.”
He was holding himself back, every muscle and sinew in his body tense with the effort of it. It was like he was fighting the urge to pull her flush against him, to wrap his arms around her and hold her tight.
“I swear, Eira,” he repeated, his voice a low and achingly sincere promise. “I swear I’ll be better. I’ll be everything you need, anything you want.”
“The only thing I want is for you to be yourself. I want you. All of you.”
A choked gasp left his mouth, his eyes going wide. He looked almost stunned like he couldn’t quite process what she had said.
“I…you want me?” he asked, his voice rough and raw, filled with disbelief.
She nodded, her heart hammering in her chest. “Yes. I want you,” she confirmed, her voice firm and unwavering.
The words had a strange effect on him. It was like they had knocked the air from his lungs, leaving him looking completely awed and shocked.
He took another shuddering breath, his body trembling as he stared down at her. “You…you really still want me?” he asked his voice barely a whisper.
And just like that, the dam broke inside him. He reached out, pulling her flush against his body, his arms wrapping tight around her.
His head dropped to her shoulder, his body shuddering as he pressed his face against the crook of her neck. “I’ll do better,” he whispered, his voice ragged and raw and desperate. “I’ll be better. I’ll be the male you deserve. I promise.”
His body was shaking against hers, holding her tight like he was afraid she would disappear. He was breathing fast, hard and frantic, his chest rising and falling against her body frantically.
She could feel him shaking like a leaf, every muscle in his body taut and tense as he held her tight but oh so gently. And under that, she could feel his racing heart, beating so fast and intense that it was dizzying.
“I’ll be everything you need,” Azriel repeated, his lips moving against her skin, his words spoken in a low, ragged whisper. “I’ll be your male, your mate. I’ll never leave you, never hurt you or let you down again. I swear it, Eira, I swear it on my life.”
His fingers were digging into her skin, clinging to her so tightly that she could feel the slight, sharp pressure of his hands against her like he was trying to hold her to him, keep her as close as possible.
He was holding her so tightly that it should have hurt, but it only felt good. It felt like a comfort, a reassurance like he would never let her go.
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tesscourtes · 3 months ago
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saw you had asks open, not a drawing request but wanted to know if there was any more story to your human bill’s punishment-for-weirdmageddon-is-to-turn-weak-human au, I really like it (sorry if you explained this a while back, I only just watched gravity falls😭I’m a late-comer to the fandom)
it’s just superepiccool to me, how are dipper and mabel about him being human now? Soos n Wendy, Stan and Ford? What was it like for them (especially Ford) when he just turned human? What was it like for Bill?
oh hey don't worry, I haven't really talked much about the details of the AU like ... ever. I just started reviving it because I got my partner into the show (they are also a new fan! yay, new fans! Funny enough I had no idea TBOB was coming out so the timing was mad exquisite.) and they have just been an amazing help shaping my messy thoughts and coming up with new, fun plots! It's also nice to know there's someone out there interested in it, so thank's for asking! Now that I read TBOB I want to change the premise a bit, but the core is still the same.
Let me tell you this AU is silly. I'm aware Billford is toxic and there are many corners to dive into to picture their messy relationship. But I kinda wanna keep the spirit of the show here and make it equally as fun as it is disturbing. Given that Bill canonically is trapped in endless Therapy gives me even more food to work with, he just out there being toxic and people repeatedly telling him to cut it out.
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I'm not gonna go into too much detail because I'm actually working on the first comic chapter for this AU, but regarding the characters: Each of the Pines, as well as Wendy and Soos, are not happy seeing him, but individually grow more accustomed to him and with him. I guess going from "most accepting" to "least accepting", Mabel took it the best. I wouldn't say she was quick to forgive, but quick enough to give the guy a chance. And I honestly have to say that, although this is 100% a Billford AU, there's so many plot ideas for just Mabel and Bill and their amazing, chaotic shenanigans. Put these two together and the stories basically write themselves. Wendy is pretty similar, and the most chill in actually helping Bill figure out human stuff.
Naturally, Ford took it the hardest. I'm aiming for slowburn here, haha. They got to figure out some stuff that I'm so ready to put onto pages... Ford is a lot of emotions. Confused, angered, curious... Meanwhile Stan is Bills biggest hater. (There is a lot of bullying in this AU) He just keeps up with it because his Family makes him. He's very protective and tries to kick Bill out several times. Soos sticks with Stan, but he's also Soos and has a big heart, so in Bills eye, he's very gullible and a target he can mess with easily.
Dipper is not a fan either, he has a hard time adjusting to the triangle just getting to ... be there. He's suspicious for the most part and Bill has to try hard to get on his good side. But honestly he might be more upset with Mabel (and later on Wendy) for making friends with Bill so easily, even though he knows that's just their nature. I just recently started thinking about Gideon and how I'd like to include him, but nothing worth mentioning so far yet.
With Bill himself, one my favorite parts trying to portray so far is how he's dealing with his new mortality. He adjusts to the body fine, he knows how to navigate flesh, but he has a hard time accepting that it's his body. His new prison, essentially. If it's gone, he's gone. If he treat's it like shit, he feels like shit. Then we add the psychological aspect of things. And more importantly, we add Ford to the equation. When I tell you, that demon is experiencing psychological damage here, and it's fully his fault. TBOB really pointed out to me that I need to dive into his obsession with Ford. How do you even get a man you fumbled so bad, to even acknowledge you again?
I love yapping about this AU, thanks again for giving me the grounds to do so anon! I'm an insecure writer so it'll probably take another hot minute to choose which script feels best to draw out, haha. But I'm glad you seem to be up for the ride!!
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raeinyourdreams · 6 days ago
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'call it what you want.' | l.h x reader
pairings: logan howlett x sway!reader
tags: fluff, no established relationship but.. there's something there, mutant!reader (they call her sway due to her mutation.. i love her i wanna talk ab her someone PLEASE ASK AB HER), AFAB reader, she/her pronouns used for reader, no specific petnames for reader (just bub and her hero name.. gets called kid like twice), no use of y/n, written with x1/x2 logan in mind... sigh... save me x2 logan.. anyway, he gives reader his dog tags before a mission in case he.. you know.. so maybe angst? but only til the very end.
wc: 2k!!
a/n: OKAY SO BOOM! this is my first actual work that's not a drabble and i'm so anxious to post AAHHH, i got the inspo from a post i saw a while ago while fried as fuck from someone requesting a fic ab logan giving reader his dog tags, pref fluffy and angsty so i hope i did ur vision justice OP!! tysm for inspo, my reqs are always open 🫶🏻 also i know this is a very burnt card but if something in the wording is off lmk PLEASEE english isn't my first language 😭 anyway enough yapping plz enjoy!! any type of interaction is appreciated
'just know these are yours now.'
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you've never seen him without his dog tags, he never took them off, not ever since the first time he came into the mansion. you'd been there the first time, you were a teacher in the school, and you'd seen him occasionally roam the halls and stay by the door, listening in on your class, quietly. but very rarely interacted otherwise, just a simple nod or a 'good morning' that he'd return out of good manners, but he'd mostly keep to himself.
you're a teacher. you're the fun teacher. at least that's what your coworkers seemed to agree upon, seeing how your students appeared to leave your classroom more cheerful than they entered. you'd be lying if you said you didn't use your mutation as an advantage in this situation, being able to read your students' moods every day, how they were feeling and why came insanely handy, especially when it came to giving each student the type of care they needed. which is why you were also a student counselor.
on the days you didn't teach, you'd put that psych degree to work and counsel. in your classroom filled with drawings and fairy lights and stained glass that looked straight from a fairytale, and a door you'd lock for privacy as a student came to confide in you.
obviously despite your title, it wasn't only students who'd come to your office to let a feeling go, teachers too, needed a space to blow off some steam, cry a little sometimes, because they knew you'd soothe them in the end, touch your hand feel the pain dissipate, make it seem as if they'd never felt that way.
up until now, only teachers and students seemed to come to you for help. teachers. and students.
so it did surprise you when the wolverine started showing up in your office after coming back.
"must be tiring. to handle others' emotions like your own all day." he'd say, sitting down on a chair, to which you'd playfully roll your eyes and shake your head. "i don't treat them as my own, i just do what i have to do so they feel better." you'd reply, walking towards the door to lock it out of policy. figured that he was here for counseling as well.
"you treat everyone with so much care it seems like it." he said, which made you stop in your tracks, turning heel to face him, your hair cascading on your shoulders and moving ever so softly as you spun. before you could speak, stunned, he asked again.
"don't you get tired? i mean mentally. it must take a toll on you to be around so many emotions all the time." the way he seemed to read you stunned you, he seemed like a very gruff, cold person from the brief interactions you'd had with him before. truth be told, this was the closest you'd been to logan since he came back to the mansion. it's what other people thought of him, anyway.
but you weren't other people, you were different.
the feeling in your body when you perceive others emotions is strange. you could never put it into words. your mutation was mostly contact based, a small brush of the hand was enough to let you know that person's feelings, the reason behind them, what they needed to feel better and it made it easier to help everyone. you could, however, see and feel the emotions, sometimes even smell them if they were too strong, no need for contact necessary.
with logan, you almost didn't need to be in the same room as him to feel the amount of physical, mental, emotional strain he was constantly under, his superhuman body subconsciously tuning it out, making him oblivious to it. once, after a very dangerous mission, he isolated himself in his room for days, his expression cold and unfazed, but every time you'd walk past an area he was in, the emotions hit you like a truck. so strong you even cried over pain that wasn't yours, a life you hadn't lived.
you looked at him sympathetically, taking a deep breath to concentrate less on the seemingly invisible fog around you two as you sat on the chair, your expression calm and collected. "i'm okay, i promise. thank you, logan."
"like hell you are." "neither are you."
he stays quiet at your retaliation, a weak smile forming on his lips, letting you understand that you were right, not that you needed confirmation.
sometimes, when emotions overpower you, you feel compelled to speak, give words of reassurance, even if you didn't quite know if they'd help or not. "logan, you should let people into your heart, stop living in fear.." you blurted out, unsure of why you were telling him this, but you'd learned to not question it and just speak, because it helped to just hear the words sometimes. it certainly did get you a reaction from logan, as the overbearing feelings you were perceiving faded.. briefly, before they slowly crept back into vision.
it was the faintest of reactions, but a reaction at least.
he nodded, taking in the words silently, as if he were contemplating. you remained stoic, analyzing his demeanor out of pure habit. "did.. you come here for counseling?" you asked, suddenly aware that you were still working, and you weren't even sure if he was here for another reason, or if he did need your help. instead, he shook his head, looking at you as if he were conducting an analysis of his own.
"nah, just came to see you.. sway."
a knock on the door interrupted the brewing tension, a gloomy, childlike presence behind the door, to which you looked at logan apologetically. "i'm sorry logan, i have a student to attend.. but think about what i said." you spoke softly, your warm voice reverberating in his ears like a hug.. something he longed for but couldn't bring himself to ask.
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you started seeing him around the classroom more, or rather, he started seeking you out more. in between breaks, before his training, during counseling. it got to a point where your children started greeting him hello and goodbye if he was in the classroom, interacting with him, playing with his hair, always styled like kitty ears. the way he just smiled and let them made something in you bloom, a feeling you couldn't recognize in yourself, but it was pink and warm and fuzzy all over. you couldn't help but wonder if he felt about you this way, too.
slowly, you noticed how, little by little, the gloomy cloud surrounding him would go away when he entered the classroom, how it would be replaced with a pink haze when he looked into your eyes, or made you laugh.. it would quickly fade away, but you'd notice, and noticed how much it resembled that feeling inside you: pink and warm and fuzzy all over.
as time went by, you got used to seeing him around, swinging by your classroom as if it was his haven, a small break from the world he knew, because you were in it. you'd be lying if you said he didn't make you day too, the gloomy atmosphere that once came along with him every time he entered your classroom slowly changing into a lilac haze.
one day, he showed up as the kids were leaving for the day, no colored cloud, but something seemed off. you invited him to sit down as he locked the door after getting in, his expression serene. before you could even speak his hands were on you, pulling you close to him in a hug, and you swore you could feel him shaking slightly. the realization hits you like a bucket of cold water and you just hold him tighter to you, since it feels like the only correct thing to do.
"you're scared."
"no one gets to see me like this, so feel special." said he, almost as if he was confiding a secret in you, which he was.
"oh, trust me, i feel quite special." you replied jokingly, which caused him to let out a chuckle, though it was dull and almost no feeling was tied to it.
you two let go and you asked him what was wrong, and he opened up like it was routine.
"i leave tomorrow. there's a mission out of state and they're asking me to go.. might be off the grid after that for a while." he explained, his voice remained calm but his eyes seemed to reveal to you more of how he was actually feeling.
"i dunno.. thought someone should've known in case.. things go south." your expression changed at that, and logan noticed. "ah, c'mon bub, change that frown, it's just reality. sure, i might be a piece of work to kill but it doesn't mean i can't die."
the silence that fell upon the classroom as you two finished speaking made the words fall with more weight into your heart, it did little to nothing to comfort you as you came to terms with what he said. it shouldn't have been hard - he was just stating a fact -, but it didn't mean that it didn't cut deep for you. you opened your mouth to speak, unsure of what you were even going to say, but he quickly cut you off.
"logan-" "listen, bub, you told me to start letting people into my heart.. i'm letting you in."
slowly, his hands went to unclasp the chain that always dangled on his neck, dog tags adorning his neck with his names, his identities. you looked in awe as he held them out to you. "gimme your hand, kid." and surprisingly, you did as you were told, holding your hand out as he placed the piece on your hand, feeling the cold metal clink softly as it fell and heat up under the temperature of your palm. you looked up at him, unsure of what it meant, of what this changed between you two, but it felt undeniable, even if unspoken.
“now, these.. they’re very special, bub. a reminder of everything that happened that led to here.. and it’s leading me to you right now.” he explained. “feels right for you to have them, i guess.. keep them safe, kid.”
the silence that fell between you two again was more comfortable, filled with a newfound tension that left much to question, but it didn’t feel right to interrupt with all that noise yet. the only sound filling the room was the breathing and a faint humming of the white noise machine you kept in your room, next by the door. you opened up your mouth again, your mind utterly blank and filled with thoughts and questions at the same time, unsure of which one was going to breach through your mind to materialize out in the cold, tense air.
“.. why me? trust me, i’m flattered, but i’m no one special, logan..” you questioned, and it made him frown.
“you are special. you're special to me.” your eyes widened at the confession and you watched as a soft smile settled on his face, one that made your heart flutter with the sheer tenderness he held in his gaze. “call it what you want.. just know these are yours now.” he said it so calmly, you wouldn't have tought he was handing you his heart, placing it in soft, tender hands and pleading you to not break it, not change it, and instead embrace it and accept it as it came, rough around the edges.
with that, he stood up from the chair, took your hand to squeeze it briefly, and walked out of the room, not before looking back at you one last time, the heaviness that he carried as he entered the room seemingly gone, all that you could perceive was a haze, all too familiar, one that left as quick as it came as his eyes met yours.
pink, warm, and fuzzy all over.
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additional author's note: BOOM SHAKALAKA I POSTED FINALLY!! i think it's a little rushed BUT!! it's cause i have a (smutty) part 2 planned for this HEHEJEHE i don't like writing (or reading) series bcs i get sad when they end but i just might.... hehehe... anyway pls lmk what u think!! or i kill off logan 🥰🥰 your choice 🥰🥰
taglist: @allen-444
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vscabarca · 7 months ago
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Can we get one with reader x gavi going out with the team to eat and reader sitting on his lap but its all sweet and cute and pablo gets shy about it? Thank you!
Ballon d‘Or - pablo gavi
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summary: you accompany gavi to the Ballon d‘Or ceremony.
genre: fluff
a/n: thank you anon for the request:3 I changed it up a bit because I have something similar already in my drafts, hope you still like it!
———
„hermano do you bring your girl to the ceremony?“ Pedri asked Gavi as they walked back from practice.
„Yeah I asked her to accompany me.“ Gavi already smiled shly when he thought about you meeting his teammates for the first time. He had been invited to the Ballon D‘Or ceremony, taking you with him as a plus one alongside other Barça players.
Gavi and you had been together for two months now, everything was still pretty fresh. You‘ve only met his closest friends like Pedri or Fermin when they came over to play Fifa.
It was your first time attending such an prestigious event. Additionally to that you would meet some of his team mates and friends, so you were already nervous the week before flying to Paris.
———
„hermosa we‘re gonna be late!“ Gavi shouted towards the bathroom, tying his dress shoes in the meantime. You were applying your lipgloss and looked in the mirror a last time before heading out.
„Coming!“ You chimed, grabbing your purse with all the essentials.
Gavi looked up from his phone, staring at the beautiful girl in front of him. It almost seemed like he was hit by cupids arrow once again.
„Baby you look stunning.“ A grin crept upon your face at your boyfriends words, happy he liked the dress just as much as you did.
„Now I don’t even want to go anymore! I want to keep you all for myself.“ Gavi‘s hands snaked around your waist, pulling you closer to him.
„Don’t worry, I‘m all yours.“ you mused and closed the short gap between you and Gavi with a passionate kiss.
During the kiss, your fingers found their way into his hair as he cupped your cheek. You sighed into the kiss, then breaking apart to catch your breath.
„you‘ve got my lipgloss on your lips now.“ You grinned, already wanting to wipe it away with your thumb, but Gavi was quick in shifting away.
„Not yet, I wanna kiss you again.“ He whispered impatiently, already pulling you in again by your waist. The kiss was tender and delicate, both getting lost in the sweet feeling of each other.
„Mhm, baby we‘re gonna be late if we don’t leave now.“ You said between kisses. Gavi only grimaced and fixed your ridden up dress by slightly pulling it back down. This time, you wiped away the remaining gloss from his lips and pecked his cheek a last time before heading out.
Hand in hand you‘ve made your way to the venue, posing for pictures on the red carped. Not long after you two met some of Gavi‘s teammates, emerging into light conversations until the event started.
The event went smoothly, you even saw Messi receive his eighth Ballon D‘or.
As the ceremony was over, all the players and their partners had been invited to a dinner.
You sat between Lewandowski and Gavi, having a nice dinner while you listened to what they were saying.
„You alright?“ Gavi spoke lowly, scooting a bit closer to you. His hand wandered to your waist, drawing soft circles on the fabric of your dress. You felt flustered by his actions, leaning your head towards his, so you could speak to him without being heard.
„I‘m perfect.“ Your fingers smoothed out the collar of his tuxedo.
„You really are.“ Gavi leaned in and gave you a quick peck, not trying to attract too much attention towards the young couple.
His flirting made you laugh out loud and only then did you realize how loud you actually laughed. You put your hand over your mouth to stiffle the sounds but Gavi laughed even louder as he saw how you reacted. The whole Barça table turned their heads towards you two. All having loving but confused smiles on their faces.
„What did Pablito say to make you laugh so hard?“ Araujo asked with a raised brow, probably assuming the worst.
Gavi and you suddenly became shy as you realized all his friends caught you being silly teens in love.
„Stop teasing those poor kids! look how shy they are now.“ Anna, Lewandowski‘s wife, scolded him in a funny way.
„I‘m not teasing! I think those two are the sweetest together!“ Ronald tried to defend himself, sending you a heads up over the table. You knew it was just a joke, so you just waved him off with a smile.
Gavi didn’t really care that all his friends looked at you two and secretly pulled your chair closer to his.
„No I mean it, you really are perfect.“
„Oh sush, look at you.“ You said and grabbed his chin to kiss him properly, not caring if anyone was watching.
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elusivecagedmockingbird · 8 months ago
Text
Untitled
[jungkook x reader]
"You wanna know about art? When the class president starts touching my face on darkened street corners, and talking about my eyes, there's a word for it. There's an entire movement in the 20's—it's called surreal."
Or THE popular fuckboy in your campus suddenly signs up as the figure model to one of your extracurricular activities and starts showing his interest in you.
A/N: I'm not sure where I went with this. Thus, untitled. I'm not even sure where this falls in the tags. But, enjoy!
-
Jungkook is at odds with himself.
Part of him wants to leave and forget about this stupid idea. He doesn't know what compelled him to listen to Jin. What exactly does the old man know about dating anyway? As far as he knows, he's never seen him with the same girl, so maybe he should have reached out to Namjoon instead. The other part is hyping himself up. In about a few minutes, you’ll be coming through those doors. It would be too late to back out now.
He chugs his bottled water as if he were thirsty. Jungkook thinks he'll pass out from anxiety. If not that, then from how warm it is inside this garage turned makeshift studio.
He feels the beads of sweat trickle down his back and pits.
This is not good.
The class is about to start and he'll be stripping down to his boxers and he's all sweaty. Thinking about that uneventful possibility makes him sweat more.
Fuck.
He notices someone walk towards the corner he has been hiding in. Judging by how good-looking his face is and the vintage clothing he wears, Jungkook surmises this must be the Senior organizing this art class. Taeyong? Taehyun?
Ah, Taehyung, he remembers just before the elder stands infront of him.
"You're Jungkook, right?"
Jungkook only nods as a response. His dry throat keeps him from speaking, afraid he squeaks out a reply and embarrasses himself more.
Thankfully, the other man is kind enough to not assume his silence as being standoffish.
"Nervous, huh?" Taehyung smirks, but Jungkook doesn't feel like he's being provoked. Rather, it actually calms him—at least the idea that it must be a common occurrence for models to exude this much anxiety that it's the first question people assume.
"That obvious?" He squeaks before clearing his throat. "Do all models get nervous on their first time?" Jungkook finally grounds his voice. Albeit, a bit meek for someone with a strong commanding aura and in a leather jacket.
Taehyung smiles and nods. "More than you expect. Which is understandable. Jin hyung told me you're doing this to learn more about art?"
No, he isn't, he internally protests. He doesn't know what Jin told Taehyung. The real reason he's here on a Sunday, as a supposed 'volunteer' model for a drawing class, is because of you.
The rest, he let Jin fill it out so Jungkook can secure the spot.
But of course, he wouldn't divulge those. So, Jungkook once again clears his throat before responding with a meek 'yes' as he shoots his empty water bottle in the can, making a clanging noise. He smiles sheepishly at the circled crowd whose attention he caught. He cringes at how much he's going out of his way to act cool. He's never this way, and yet, he wants to make sure you witness him with his best foot forward today.
Jungkook sways on the balls of his feet, taking in the space when he sees you—just as you were hooking your bag in your chair.
Goddamn, you're pretty. He's watching you laugh with another girl stationed near your table as you lay out your tools.
"Ready when you are." Taehyung breaks him out of his trance, and he replies with a sheepish nod—hoping he wasn't caught staring at you.
Jungkook starts by taking off his shoes, then his leather jacket. He unbuttons his pants with briefs in tow and the thought that you would be looking at his crotch makes him blush. He shamelessly imagines you and him as Jack and Rose in that sketching scene. But, before he can pull his jeans down, a booming baritone voice hollers at him.
Taehyung hurries towards him. "What the fuck are you doing?"
Jungkook freezes at the sudden aggression. His mouth puckers open and close like a fish coming up for air, as he struggles to come up with a reply.
Taehyung tilts his head and assesses the young man with a pout. "Did Seokjin not tell you this isn't a nude class? We just need you to strip to your shirt and jeans," Taehyung clarifies in a whisper.
Embarrassment floods Jungkook and he sputters out an apology. He silently curses himself between nervous laughs and incoherent words of what seemed to be apologies. Shy doe eyes peeps at you and the confused and scandalized look painted on your face makes him want to get swallowed by the ground and never reappear in front of you ever again.
You must think he’s some kind of a creep or worse, a flasher. With a big exhale, he tries to set aside the embarrassment and go through this. It's already bad enough that his nerves and recent embarrassment made a sweat stain on his shirt.
Not long after, Jungkook stands in the middle of the circle of easels. It actually isn't bad, he thinks. Most of the time, he's staring at wood stands and the occasional heads peeking out of the canvas.
You're on his side, so he can only see you through his peripheral vision. Even so, he can already visualize the vein popping on your forehead when you concentrate—just one of the things he adores on your face.
That afternoon, Jungkook finds out he likes the thought of you paying this much attention and focus on him, instead of the other way around.
He holds his growing smile at bay.
-
The hour-long class went quicker than Jungkook wanted. He takes his time picking up his jacket and pretends to search for something in his bag as he waits for you to pack up. However, you never rise from your seat.
It takes Taehyung tapping your shoulder to bring you out of your world. "You still get tomorrow, Y/N," he hears Taehyung remind you before walking around the room, checking progress.
Jungkook didn't mean to eavesdrop more, but when you stood up and followed Taehyung, he couldn't help but tune in to your conversation.
"I need a little more time to fix a few edges. Can I just extend for a while? I'll clean up the supplies room." You bargain, voice kept low as if you're making an illegal trade with Taehyung.
Jungkook hears the older man sigh and call your name softly. "You still have tomorrow to work on it, and the next few days. Plus, I can't suddenly ask the model to stay just for you."
You whine petulantly like a child and Jungkook wonders if he can make you whine under different situations. Perhaps, under hi—
"He can go. I just need—"
The moment he makes out your reply, Jungkook was quick to cut you off and offer his time. "I can stay for a while."
Both you and Taehyung turn your heads to face the man who looks like a deer caught in the headlights, but he might as well have been. Your glowered confused eyes stare into him. "I-if you want," he stutters, so he tries to salvage his image with an obviously feigned nonchalant shrug.
Taehyung holds back his laugh but the sudden expulsion of air from his nose wasn't amiss, earning a side eye from you.
"No need," you answer with finality. "You get paid by the hour, right? I can't pay you and—"
"You don't have to pay me. I'm offering for free." Jungkook internally winces at how quick he was in offering himself. But if he were being honest, he would stay in this shoddy garage all night, through the blazing summer heat, as long as it's time spent with you.
Is it a crime that he's quick to take an opportunity when it has presented itself?
He thinks abso-fucking-lutely not.
Your eyebrows furrow, the 'I wasn't done talking' death glare you directed at Jungkook has him shift awkwardly on his foot and look everywhere else but at you.
"Still, I'd get in trouble for requesting more time, anyway. Can't have other students think Taehyung here has favorites." You press and it chips a bit of his confidence. It was obvious you didn't want him to stay. If he keeps insisting, you might think he's creepy.
Jungkook didn't want to seem too pushy anyway, and so, lets out a defeated "Oh.." and nods. His round eyes making it easy to see his dismay as it curves downwards a little at the sides.
"I wouldn't worry about that," Taehyung intervenes. The older man was amused as he watched Jungkook flounder around you, he also knows how oblivious and dismissive you are of guys like Jungkook to a fault. And so, he helps.
Ah, young love, Taehyung muses. "Just make sure to clean up and lock up after, like you promised." He tosses the keys to you, but you make no movement of catching it, letting the keys hit your chest and fall to the ground.
Now your glare is directed towards your sunbaenim. "On second thought, I'm wrapping it up for tonight then." You head towards your easel to pack up your stuff.
Taehyung sighs.
He tells Jungkook to wait a bit and pick up the keys as he follows after you, calling your name.
“Just take the guy's offer to help. He’s trying to learn more about art, too,” he whispers, arms crossing across his chest. "Isn't this the piece you're submitting with your application? I know that head of yours will run nonstop if you don't finish what you intended to do tonight." Taehyung nudges you with a smile and softly jabs his pointer finger to your temple, making you chuckle with a pout. You shoo his hand away from your face and he knows he got you to stay.
This Jungkook kid owes him, Taehyung thinks.
However, from where Jungkook stands, he sees you breaking out the cutest smile at Taehyung. His eyes even going bigger at what he believes is an affectionate touch to your face when Taehyung boops your forehead.
Is that even ethical or something, he wonders irately. Taehyung isn't much older but given that he's your sunbaenim, Jungkook thinks he shouldn't be doing that. Or even be standing close to you. He's currently throwing imaginary lasers at Taehyung's back when you both turn to him and he immediately unsquints his eyes.
"Jungkook, do you still want to stay?" Taehyung shouts at the young man.
Yes.
A hundred times yes. He's a lovesick loyal puppy and if you ask him to bark, he'll bark for you.
Jungkook nods enthusiastically and rushes closer to where you stand, eager to wedge himself between you and Taehyung.
-
"Jungkook," you sigh his name tiredly. "I really need you to stop moving your head. Is there something more interesting behind me?" The question was rhetorical, but you're starting to wonder what he keeps on staring at behind you that you turn your head, only to be greeted with a wall filled with hanged canvases.
You hear him mumble out a you with a smirk, but was quick to cover it up with a sorry. This guy think he was slick.
Jungkook turns his head to assume his supposed pose. His eyes still filled with mirth. And he lasts about four minutes before his head starts turning towards you. Again.
You throw your head forward with an exhausted groan. This was a mistake. You're growing more frustrated by the minute. Maybe you should call it a night.
Looking back up at your model, you tell him he can leave.
Jungkook breaks his stance then quickly poses as he quickly persuades you. "No, I'll stay still. Look," he promises and follows through quickly by holding the pose.
"No, I'm just really too tired for tonight. Thank you for staying a bit longer." You busy yourself by grabbing at your stuff, cleaning pencil shards here and there to keep the lurking unease.
You can't have a breakdown here again, you admonish yourself. And it's going to feel worse after if Jungkook's here to see it happen. You keep your head down while your hands wipe the charcoal dust on the table.
You hear footsteps nearing you, and you pray to whoever listens that he's not actually coming closer. He calls your name, his voice close and soft. You hum in response, head still hung low, refusing to face him.
Jungkook sees you rubbing an eraser at a blank surface and purses his lips. He finally got the chance to spend time with you and he was hoping to break the ice and get closer to you, but he does this—he upset you and wasted your time. You're not gonna want to spend more time with him after this.
"I-I'm sorry. I really wanted to help. I can stay again tomorrow to make up for tonight," he offers. Everything about him screams eagerness and he must really be interested in art to be willing to stay in the garage-slash-studio during this Summer heat.
You feel the tingling pressure in your throat and your lips quiver. You clear your throat and will away the tears before it breaks through your paper wall.
"No. You did great, Jungkook. I'm just not feeling well tonight." Your voice was too soft, but at least it didn't break.
Jungkook walks around you and turns to face you, hands making contact with your shoulder. "Are you sick? I have some medicine in my bag," he offers. He retracts his hand and unzips his bag to take out whatever medicine he had stashed inside.
It's his genuine concern that does it for you. You suddenly sob and cover your face with your hands.
"Oh, Y/N, are you okay? Does something hurt?" He didn't expect this. Jungkook was taken aback and his worried eyes looked for signs of where you could have been hurt.
Your sobs turned to full-on bawling and Jungkook was quick to take you into his arms. He lets you cry and occasionally whispers assurances between your weeping despite not knowing why you suddenly burst into tears.
In that moment, you stood illuminated by harsh yellowish fluorescent lights like a Gustav Klimt painting on display. The A/C humming noise drowned out by your hiccups and his whispers.
You were the first to pull away. He didn't mean to, but the moment you separated from Jungkook and lowered your hands from your face, he laughed.
Offended at his reaction, you push him away and quickly gather your bag hanging on the chair.
"Wait," he calls for you as he fumbles to pick up the bag he let fall to the floor.
He calls your name but you decidedly ignore him, feet shuffling quickly to leave the garage.
Fucking ass, you think. You're mortified. You already dread tomorrow as your imagination runs wild. What if he tells his friends about your ugly crying? You think you don't care what frat guys think, but you still definitely don't want to be the talk of the campus. You've only transferred here last year and after being briefed by your friend on who to avoid, you made sure not to have a run in with guys like Jungkook.
This is exactly why you were holding everything in earlier. Every stereotype of frat guys being huge assholes behind the charming facade were true.
A flash of high school memories ambush you and you just want to get to your dorm and hide under your blankets. You'll just have to miss tomorrow's class, you plan.
You violently shrug when you feel a hand grip your wrist.
"Hey, will you wait," Jungkook pleads. You turn to face him and see him reach something in his pockets.
Fuck. He's not going to take a photo, isn't he?
You were ready to lunge at him, anything to prevent him from taking a snap at your post-bawl blotched face, when all of sudden, a soft cloth touched your face.
Jungkook chuckles at your startled face.
"You have charcoal smudged all over your face," he points out. His bunny teeth peeks through his curved lips and the sides of his eyes wrinkle from amusement.
"Oh." You visibly flinch when he uses his thumb to brush the apple of your cheeks.
"There," he smiles, eyes fixated on his finger caressing your skin.
"You know you really have pretty eyes."
If you were in a romantic movie, his line would have panned out well. But you're not, so cue the sound of glass breaking to signify a shattered moment.
To think, you bought his act. You thought, here's a deviant frat boy species. Maybe not all of them are only interested in girls and booze. You even thought this Jeon Jungkook isn't so bad.
Until he says that.
Breaking away and stepping back from him, you humorlessly laugh in disbelief.
"You're a fucking cliché, Jungkook. Does this babble usually work on chicks?" You take a look at him and he has the audacity to look unaware of how hokey the situation is.
"Wha—" Poor boy couldn't even finish his sentence, you thought.
"Y/N, I'm not following."
You were about to make a joke on flies flying straight to his agape mouth but you hold yourself back. Instead, you make a gesture of shaking your head as you force out another dry laugh. You look at him one last time and walk away from the frat boy once again.
You hear his footsteps follow you, along with calls of your name. "Did I say something wrong?"
You stop as you reach the threshold—you're almost out of the garage and out into the cold dark night, ready to rush into the safety of your dorm and away from sleazy college boys.
But something in you compels you to turn, and so you do. "Yes, Jungkook. You did." Your hands grip your bag tighter, feet taking a couple of steps back into the garage, to the shoddy light so he can see you.
"Did you really think this charming ‘oh-i’m-clueless act was going to drop panties? You wanna know about art?" You hurl the question; voice no longer shaky and unsure. "When the campus playboy starts touching my face on dimly lit spaces, and starts talking about my eyes, there's a word for it. There's an entire movement in the 20's—it's called surreal." You roll your eyes at him before making your exit.
It takes a minute for Jungkook to get his body to move. And when he does, you're already a distance away. Almost gone from his sight.
This is the second time today that you rendered him immobile and speechless. Just what the fuck did he do?
-
Meanwhile, you cursed at Jeon Jungkook on your entire walk home. Fuck him and his round innocent eyes for throwing the bees and butterflies in your stomach into chaos.
You tell yourself you dodged a bullet and that was just a ploy for him to get into your pants. You should actually congratulate yourself for turning away one of the notorious womanizers. Your roommate would be proud of you.
Still, you couldn't deny the jolt you felt in your chest when he touched your face and spewed those cheesy lines about your eyes.
You grunt as you slam the door to your dorm.
"Damn. Who pissed you off?" Jihyo, your roommate stares at you across her table.
You heave a sigh of exhaustion and plop yourself on the carpeted floor. "Had a run in with a frat guy," you spit with a scowl. "You remember the guy you were talking about last week? Jungkook? He's the model for this week."
"Seriously? That's..." Jihyo's head tilted sideways as she looked for the right word, brows furrowing. "Out of character for him."
You raise your head and prop your arms to face your roommate. "Right? That's what I thought, but Taehyung said he was interested in learning art."
At this, Jihyo pauses while eating and guffaws. "Is he for real?"
You roll your eyes at no one in particular and rest your head on your palms as your other hand plucks at the carpet. "Nah, I'm pretty sure he was just there to pick up girls."
Jihyo squints at you, suddenly alert as she senses something you haven't told her yet.
"He hit on me," you start. Already growing flustered at the recollection of the afternoon. "You know those cheesy lines from romcoms, he actually used them on me." You went on detail by detail about what happened and ended your story with a shudder. "This is the first time I might dread going to the class."
"Yep, I see why he thinks he could get away with the cheesiest line," Jihyo murmurs. Apparently, during your story, Jihyo picked up her phone and started to stalk Jungkook's profile. "I mean shame it wasn't nude because have you seen this body?" She flips her phone so you can see her screen.
"What? That's not Jungkook." You stand from your spot and walk closer to Jihyo and snatch the phone. "This isn't Jungkook."
"What are you talking about? That’s literally his profile,” Jihyo takes her phone back, wanting to take another look if you’re looking at the same thing. “See, Kim Jongkook. He’s the notorious fuck boy, probably in all departments. Good thing is, he’s graduating this year.”
Oh, fuck.
-
>> Still Untitled
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mayearies · 1 year ago
Text
… ꒰ঌ ໒꒱
❛ KISSIN YOU CRAZY ❜
miles morales
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˚ʚ property of ©hiimayee ɞ˚
genre: suggestive | warnings: miles ooc, kissing, spanish translations: desea averiguarlo? / you want to find out? authors input: i wanted to make more borderline cocky miles i miss it also i cant fucking find graphics for stories anymore im actually gonna start shitting myself also ik i cant write kissing scenes dont rn
summary: turns out miles is a really good kisser
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
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… ꒰ঌ ໒꒱
miles liked anything to do with your body, believe it or not. he would get the most out of cuddling with you, kissing you, or just simply holding your hand. but he had a tendency to ask one thing any time he would sit down:
“can you come sit on my lap?”
sometimes he wouldnt even ask. he would just pull you on top of him or give you a pleading stare. he honestly wouldnt pay much attention to you. he would just want you close to him. if you wanted to talk to him, he would be down for that always. hell, he would drop what he’s doing and turn his attention to you any day of the week.
wanna guess how you got here? yeah, he just led you to his desk and placed you on top of him so he could draw. take it as you’re a stuffed animal he wouldn’t want to misplace.
but stuffed animals have feelings too. he didn’t say a word to you. he just rested his head over your shoulder as his finger danced on your thigh in a rhythm, the one matching his headphones. you didnt like being ignored while in this state. you couldnt even get off him.
you bit your cheek as your face held an expression of annoyance. “miles?”
he didnt answer. but you knew he heard you since the tapping on your thigh slowed down and the sound of markers against the paper increased. he liked teasing you like this. and you knew just the way to break him: neck kisses!
he was an absolute sucker for kisses in general. his forehead and his neck were his favorite places for you to kiss. everytime you would, he would giggle a little bit before breaking, “what? what’s up, darling?”
“you never look at me even after i do this for you!” “mmm? do you want something?”“a kiss would be nice. all you give is cheap forehead kisses.”
miles directed his eyes to yours. soon leaving to look at your lips which were lightly glazed with lipgloss. he held a playful smirk before looking back up at your face. “hm. cheap kisses, huh?”
“i bet you aren’t even that good of a kisser, miles.” “hah. desea averiguarlo, mami?”
oh wow. you didnt expect that. or this. despite your continuous reminders for him to put on chapstick, his lips were really soft and smooth. even smoother with your lipgloss on it.
the thing is, miles has never kissed you like this before. he would give you longing kisses like this anywhere but your lips. you thought he did it because he was nervous. turns out he was, but had just played it off cool. but he pulled all the right strings first try.
something about his hand stroking your thigh lightly, the biting of your lip as your lips danced with one another did something for you. i mean, as it should.
pulling away with a playful smirk, he leaned into your ear. “so? did you find out or do i gotta demonstrate again? you got enough attention for the hour now?”
you playfully rolled your eyes as you slipped from his grasp to go sit on the couch and turn on a movie leaving miles stunned a little. nonetheless, he followed you. snuggling against your chest as he pulled you into his lap once more. “what we watchin’, missy?”
“missing.” “ohhh.. y’know what’s really missing?” “..what?” “your last name changed to ‘morales’.”“stop using those jokes you got from peter. just because he got to keep mj with them doesn’t mean you’ll get to keep me.” “yes ma’am.”
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©hiimayee
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sailortongue · 3 months ago
Text
Sealing the Deal
pairing: kenji sato x reader
summary: you and kenji work out the details of your "marriage"
wc: 2.2k
an: this is part 4! sorry it took so long! my best friend is actually living the accidental pregnancy trope and now college is starting. been a little hectic
navi | prev | series mlist
---------
At approximately noon, you were standing in front of Ami’s front door, knocking on the wood with sweaty hands. As you were waiting for Ami to let you in, your thoughts were running wild with what this little get-together was meant to accomplish. You wanted Kenji to know for certain it wasn’t Ami that had told the press. You never got back to him about your conversation with her and how she adamantly insisted that she wasn’t the one who had spilled. And what could Kenji possibly want to tell you? What did he mean by “it will require some acting on our part”?
While you were still pondering all these things, the door swung open without warning. You snapped out of your thoughts, ready to greet your friend, only to be met with a clear view of the entrance—no Ami in sight. 
“Hi, Aunt Yn!” was all you heard before you felt a death grip around your legs and the giggles of a little girl filling the air. A bright smile spread across your face at the sight of your favorite six-year-old. 
“Chiho!” You exclaimed, bending down to hug her back as best you could given the considerable height difference.
She pulled away from you to grab your hand and lead you into the living room. “Momma, Aunt Yn is here!” She called out. You could hear the sound of someone moving around in the kitchen, presumably Ami. “Come on come on come!” Chiho goaded, pulling harder at your hand to encourage you to move faster. 
“Chiho!” You heard from behind you. The two of you stopped and turned to see Ami standing in the kitchen doorway, a hand on her hip. “What have I told you about answering the door?” She scolded. 
“It's just Aunt Yn,” Chiho whined. 
Ami sighed exasperatedly. “But what if it wasn’t? It’s dangerous for you to answer the door without knowing who’s there.”
Chiho’s only response was a small “hmph”, her bottom lip jutting out as she crossed her arms petulantly. 
Ami shook her head at the little girl’s dramatics before turning her attention to you. “Lunch will be ready in a bit. My mom’s in the living room and if Chiho isn’t too busy pouting I think she has something to show you.” There was a teasing lilt to her voice as she mentioned Chiho’s surprise. Said Chiho only huffed. You saw what Ami was attempting to do and played along. 
“I guess I'll help out with lunch since Chiho doesn’t want to show me anymore,” you mused, starting to follow Ami to the kitchen, but a small hand grasping onto yours stopped you from going any farther.
“No!” She cried. “I still wanna show you!”
“Apologize to your mom first and then you can show me whatever you want, ok?”
Chiho immediately did as asked, running back out of the kitchen almost as soon as she had run in, clearly eager to share whatever it was she was so excited about. As you were following the young girl to the living room, you felt a buzz in your pocket. You pulled out your phone to see a text from Kenji.
Kenji: i should have asked this earlier but what's ami’s address?
You scoffed lightly before quickly typing out the address for him. As soon as it was sent, you put your phone back in your pocket and returned all of your attention to Chiho. The first thing you noticed when you walked into the living room was that it looked like a hurricane had gone through it, courtesy of Chiho, no doubt. The second thing you noticed was that the hurricane debris was primarily composed of countless drawings. Most were of Ultraman, but you spotted a few kaiju as well.
“Well, hello! Ami said you would be over today,” greeted Ms. Wakita from her seat on the couch. You grinned at the old woman, a small laugh bubbling from your lips. “Yes ma’am, and there's one more person coming. He just asked for the address a few minutes ago though, so he'll likely be a bit late.”
She shook her head, mumbling something about today’s youth.
You noticed that she had a basket of yarn at her feet, and you gestured to it, asking if she was crafting something. “I am, but it’s a surprise. You’ll have to wait until it’s finished to find out what it is.”
You frowned a bit, having always enjoyed sharing your old-woman-like hobbies with her. Whether it was crocheting or cross-stitching, she always had excellent tips for you, so you were slightly disappointed that she wouldn’t tell you what she was making this time.
You were about to speak again when a box of crayons was being shoved at you from below. “Draw with me!” Chiho demanded. You took the crayons from her and sat criss-cross at the coffee table next to her. She pushed a piece of blank paper towards you. “What should we draw?” She asked.
You hummed. “What about Neronga?”
Chihi shook her head. “Already drew him.”
“Gigantron?”
“Nope. Her too.”
You wracked your brain, conveniently forgetting the name of every kaiju that had ever terrorized the city. “Oh! What about Bemular?”
Her eyes brightened at the idea as she accepted your suggestion with an enthusiastic yes. You chuckled as you pulled up a picture on your phone, and you and Chiho set to work, the sound of Ms. Wakita counting her stitches and the delicious smells wafting in from the kitchen fading into the background as you focused on drawing the kaiju.
You were just finishing the outline when there was a knock on the door. From the corner of your eye, you could see Chiho ready to stand, but a contemplative look crossed her features and she settled back into her seated position shortly after. You had to suppress a laugh, knowing she had remembered her scolding from earlier.
You could hear the door being opened as Ami greeted Ken, who had finally arrived. She led him into the living room, and he took a seat on the opposite end of the couch where Ms. Wakita was sitting. Chiho looked at him curiously before recognition set in. “You're that guy from the restaurant!” She exclaimed, her finger pointed at him in an accusatory manner.
Ken chuckled, “Ah, you remember me. You’re Chiho, right?”
She hummed before deciding that her unfinished drawing was more important than Kenji and returning her attention to the piece of paper in front of her. 
“Hey, Kenji,” You greeted warmly, briefly glancing away from your own drawing to see he was already looking at you.
“Hey, Yn,” he replied. He jerked his chin towards you, asking, “What are you drawing?”
“Kaiju,” you replied simply, focus already diverted from him in favor of your Bemular sketch. 
He leaned forward, elbows on his knees as he tried to get a better look. 
He hummed as he took in the sight of the rough sketch you had on your paper. Looking to Chiho, he asked, “Can I draw too?”
Chiho nodded, dropping her crayon onto the coffee table as she reached for another sheet of paper and slid it over to him. “We can share the crayons. Just don’t color too hard or they’ll break.”
Kenji laughed, “Thank you, Chiho. I promise I won't break them.”
“Good,” she responded definitively with a curt nod.
As you were coloring, Kenji decided to broach the subject of his manager’s suggestion, hoping against hope that you were open to the idea given that he had basically already agreed for you. “So, Yn,” he started nervously, swallowing thickly when you fixed your gaze on him. “Like I texted you, I was talking to my manager earlier and he came up with a plan. I agreed without asking you and I'm so sorry for that, but please keep an open mind?”
The serious tone in his voice reached Ms. Wakita’s ears, and she set her crochet down on the couch. “Chiho, dear, why don’t we go play in your room and let Aunt Yn talk to her friend?”
Chiho looked doubtful at first, wanting to stay and color, but did as her grandma asked anyway. As the two were walking out, Ms. Wakita gave you a sly wink. You were certain that Ami had already filled her in on the situation, and you were grateful that she had proactively given you and Kenji privacy for what would surely be a sensitive conversation.
It was only when they were safely out of earshot that you spoke up. “So, what’s the plan? And why does it require ‘acting on our part’?”
Kenji hesitated for a moment, contemplating his words. “He proposed that we tell the public that we’re married. A baby from a one night stand is considered a scandal, but to a married couple it’s a blessing.”
You blanched at his words, disbelief flooding through you. “Why would you agree to that? Look, you’re very kind and all, but we don’t know each other well enough to pull off being married. Plus, you have so many girls that would love to be your wife, which means they’re all going to hate me, and—”
“Woah, woah, hey, slow down. You are the mother of my future child. Not them. Ok? No matter what they say, you are part of my life now.”
You practically melted at his sweet words, which admittedly did help ease your mind. If he didn't care what his fans thought, then why should you?
Before you were able to reply, Ami popped in from the kitchen to tell you that lunch was ready. Thirty minutes later, after everyone had eaten and Chiho had excitedly shown everyone her now-completed Kaiju drawing, it was just you, Ken, and Ami in the living room.
“Ok, so just to make sure I have this right: Ken, your PR manager is putting out word that you and Yn are married? And, Yn, you’re okay with this? Because I haven’t gotten any word about it which means it hasn’t been released yet, so it’s not too late to think of something else.”
“No, I think it’s the best way to ensure the least amount of damage to his reputation. But,” you said pointedly, redirecting your attention to Kenji, “we need to come up with a story. Like, where and how we met, how long we’ve been together—stuff like that.”
Kenji nodded in agreement, as did Ami. The three of you deliberated with each other, your fake relationship with Kenji slowly but surely becoming a full-fledged story. By the end of it, you felt like you would both be prepared to answer any questions about your dating history and marriage.
“How long have you been together?” Quizzed Ami.
“3 years, but we only got married this year.”
“When is your anniversary?”
“June 26th.”
“How did you two meet?”
“We first met when Kenji was still a Dodgers player in LA. He bumped into me on the street and caused me to spill my coffee on myself. So he took me out for coffee to make up for it, and the rest is history.”
Ami continued to quiz the both of you until there was no doubt that you and Kenji had the story memorized. Any inconsistencies would ruin the whole plot. Ami was still fake interrogating you both when Kenji was distracted by the buzzing of his phone. He flipped the device over to see a message from Muramatsu, opening the message to be greeted by an article link. “Well, that was fast,” he mumbled under his breath. You and Ami looked at him curiously, and he turned his phone so that you could see the article which stated in no uncertain terms that Kenji was a married man.
“Ah,” was all that you were able to muster. There was officially no going back.
-❀-
Later that night, when Kenji was home and thought he would finally get a reprieve from all the phone calls, he received yet another one. He groaned, considering ignoring the call, but a glance at the caller ID revealed that it was his dad calling. He didn't usually call at such a late hour, which immediately spiked concern in Kenji. He accepted the call and was instantly met with a barrage of questions. 
“What are all these rumors that you’re married? 
“Are you really having a baby? 
“How could you have gotten married in secret and not at least invited your father?
“I didn’t even know you had a girlfriend.”
Kenji couldn't believe he had forgotten to update his father on all the recent drama surrounding him. After thoroughly explaining the situation in excruciating detail, Professor Sato was satisfied and insisted that Kenji introduce his pretend daughter-in-law as soon as possible. After all—as he had stated—she would be the woman to make him a grandfather. 
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