#first time posting my writing to this fandom so i hope i dont disappoint
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spacedlexi · 2 years ago
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and what the more nuanced opinions about s*yloy?
censoring the ship name 💀 ive been trying to avoid all the post-burning shores drama that seems to be happening in the horizon fandom... ive seen some Nasty stuff getting thrown around and im not just talking about the usual gamer-homophobes (those im unfortunately used to by now)
i think overall theyre cute!! their relationship in this dlc is about how aloy is Truly evolving to accept people into her life on a Deep and Personal level. and i am NOT saying that she doesnt also care deeply for her current cast of friends (i think she might even have Feelings for some of them shes not letting herself be aware of (and im talking since ZD)). but its established in forbidden west that aloy has trouble connecting to people on that deep level, and she more often slips off into the night on her own than choosing to stick by them long term. she cares for them, she'll always help them, but something seems to keep scaring her off
the end of the dlc has aloy saying the idea of a home and tribe has always scared her since she grew up so disconnected from the nora. her development throughout FW (although i had issues with the writing and pacing of it) is about her putting down those walls and Truly letting people into her life. and seyka, being so similar to herself in so many ways yet having a positive relationship with her tribe, is kind of the perfect storm for this new aloy. her feelings are new and clumsy and she stumbles over herself. she doesnt always seem as cool and collected as she usually is and it sometimes seems to even throw her off. its cute!
i dont necessarily have any problem with Them. my problems more so were related to the execution of the writing and pacing of the dlc as a whole. and those problems stem back to the writing and pacing problems ive had since forbidden west... they just kinda got caught in the crossfire a bit (as did some of the FW companions when i first played through but have since warmed up to more). i went back and rewatched my friends stream of it and i found myself less frustrated than i was when we first went through it, but there were still a few moments here and there (between them and in the overarching plot in general) that just made me go 🤨 the execution was messy or weak or strange at times but again thats not just a dlc problem for me. i can at least appreciate the intention of what they were Trying to do with aloy and seyka. and as a plus they hit a number of tropes i really like
i think what bothered me more was the way guerrilla marketed her? its weird because they boasted about how "special and unique" she was when i feel she shares a lot of qualities that aloys other companions also have (down to c-cast characters like ikrie and nakoa). like.. i LIKE all of these characters for these similar qualities! it was just weirdly disrespectful to their own cast? i dont think that was their intention but it was... interesting
especially since i believe this experience with seyka is Massively important for aloy moving forward in regards to her relationships. aloy at the end of the dlc after her time with seyka is Completely Ready to accept what her idea of "home" is, and she realizes thats the connections shes made with the people around her. i really hope seyka gets to escape the dlc and join up with the cast in Horizon 3 (i was already disappointed when ikrie didnt make a reappearance). but since the dlc ended in flashpoints where you could accept or reject her, i Definitely believe this implementation will return in Horizon 3 with our cast of companions (not every aloy chose to kiss seyka so some aloys are returning to base single (but seemingly ready to mingle)). in the past when these flashpoints have come up (like with avad in both ZD and FW) aloy always seems resistant in some way even if you Do choose the heart option. but seyka is evidence that aloy really IS ready for that level of commitment post-BS. and since these are still choices tied to flashpoints, your aloy can do whatever she wants! the point is that regardless of any romance, shes ready to accept her friends as her Tribe
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guangshi-091305 · 4 months ago
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Am just curious.. you seem to like a lot of Wei Ying and others. Each to their own, but I wondered if you didn't like Lan Zhan or Wangxian as a couple or something?
ok so there's two issues with me writing wangxian:
1- I have read so many wangxian fics its insane and that means after reading every five or so fics, I'd come up with a new wangxian fic idea and i'd get scenes and perfect dialogue snippets in my head and they will make me salivate over the very brilliant fic I am planning. And then I get lost in planning an the fic stops being a oneshot and becomes a very fucking longfic instead. So i either start collecting bits and pieces of the fic in a seperate doc until I can completely write the fic before i post. Which is hard. WIPs are hard, I get carried away and then I hit a writer's block for a particular fic and its over.
The reason why I dont post multichapters? Because for the last three fandoms I left, I had big dreams and expectations of my very brilliant multichapter fics and my fandom shifts are so abrupt I have no time to finish a fic i've been working on for months and they end up being abandoned because if i end up in a new fandom, I cant go back and write the characters from my previous fandoms the way i wished to. I can no longer do them justice or put my heart and soul in them and my perfectionist ass thinks thats unfair to my readers. So I stop posting. So now I wont ever post a multichapter until its fully written because its better for people to not know what they're missing out on instead of see an abandoned fic and know EXACTLY what all they are missing out on. I've been hurt like this in my first fandom and istg it was bad. It was a slowburn, angsty 100k worded fic and the main pairing hadnt even kissed yet. the MMC was lusting after another chara while the FMC was catching feelings and the fic just...stopped there, with MMC imagining fucking someone else. I cant tell you how badly my mind refused to do anything but hope and wait for that fic to update and it never did. I was in the fandom for a year before I got into a new thing and ig the pain of that never left?
2- Even if I deprive wangxian-ers of a uniquely plotted new fic, they wont miss out much. There's well over a thousand wangxian fics in various settings, using various tropes. But for rarepairs? There's barely enough full-fledged fics or oneshots. A lot of fics tagged with a rarepair have that as a past ship or one sided thing OR a drabble collection which is cool but not what I am looking for if I go in the tag. So I do this for myself mostly, for rarepair readers, there's not many I cant disappoint by writing oneshots, they're just so happy with anything. I'd know, I am one of them.
Bonus reason: most of my wangxian ideas come to me when I CANT write. like 5 minutes before i pass out into a dead sleep or during an exam or when I am in class or basically any time I cant write and by the time I can, I've lost the drive I had and put it in the back burner for 'fics i may write someday'.
I hope that answered your question. I knew this was coming lol so I answered in as much detail as I could. I do hope to write wangxian fics, actually i am surprised my first fic wasnt a wangxian one tbh because i've been planning several of those but oh well.
Have a great rest of the day and thank you for being kind! <3
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legomonkeyking · 4 years ago
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Fireflies
Fandom: Monkie Kid
Pairing: OC/Canon
Prompt: Person A can tell that Person B is having a nightmare because they’re making weird noises/motions in their sleep so Person A wakes them up and asks if they’re okay.
Ao3
He was never a heavy sleeper; he didn't sleep much at all if he was being honest. He was used to staying awake to watch for any sneaky demons looking to become immortal. That time has long since passed, but the habit stayed. Granted, he started sleeping more during daylight hours when he wasn't too busy with ruling over Flowerfruit. This might be why he was stirred from his slumber by a slight shift made by the monkey he recently started sharing a space with.
He had to admit, he preferred the traveler awake when the two could chat away about their respective homes. The calm quiet of the squirrel monkey was a complete 180 of the normal chatter that seemed to flow uninterrupted from the primate's mouth. He had to admit he was impressed.
He didn't like these specific words that were slurring from the other's mouth. He could barely make out what the squirrel monkey was mumbling out in his sleep, but he could tell that it wasn't pleasant. He was shivering and he had a slightly harder time determining if it was from the chill in the air or the nightmare.
He disliked watching his friends suffer in any form of the word, and decided to do the proactive thing and wake him up. He whispered into the other's ear and gently shook the sleeping form.
"Bento..."
No response, yet. Thankfully, the king is known for his persistence. He shook Bento a bit more roughly and spoke just loud enough to be heard but not enough to wake the others who would not be happy at their slumber being disturbed.
"Bento. Hey, wake up I need your assistance."
He knew the squirrel monkey wouldn't kick up as much of a fuss if he was asking for help. It didn't matter how idiotic or easy the task was, Bento would happily help out. The lump of black fur stirred before twisting around the ginger tail in acknowledgment of the request. The words slurred together, but he could understand the Brazilian just fine.
"What do you need?"
"I want to look at some fireflies and I can't go alone."
'You're the Monkey King you'll be fine."
"Galina said we have to stay in pairs and I'm not waking Macaque to ask for his help. That leaves you, are you going to come to help me find the fireflies or what?"
Bento grumbled and made his displeasure at being woken up known but still got up to direct the Monkey King to the nearest open area for the best viewing of the glowing insects. He felt the need to groom the fur that stood in all directions but felt that the activity could wait until they were out of earshot and they could talk while he fixed the spiky fluff that covered his companion.
 
They came across the clearing after a good half hour of walking. If Bento wasn't awake by now then the river nearby would do the trick; thankfully it seems that he wouldn't need to push him into the water.
"Here's the clearing, I don't see any fireflies so I can't help you out."
"That's fine, would you mind staying here with me?"
"I guess, you did drag me out here and I'm awake now... Any particular reason you wanted to see fireflies now of all times?"
The ginger furred macaque just shrugged and sat with his tail curling around a space next to him, as an invitation to join the king. Bento accepted the invitation and curled his own tail around the Monkey King. The king in question decided he might as well be honest with the other traveler about the reason he dragged him out this distance.
"You looked distressed in your sleep, I wanted to ask you about it in private while we still had enough time to get a good night's rest."
"Oh..."
Bento's eyes drifted from the sky to look at the macaque, the bags under his eyes betraying his state of unrest. He sighed before leaning on his chosen companion, slightly curling in on himself. Wukong gently rubbed circles into his back.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"As long as you don't mind me being vague about the details."
"I don't mind at all."
"To be brief, I dreamed that I was back in a bad place and the friends I had there were trapped again but everyone I became friends with recently was trapped as well and I guess it just upset me."
Wukong hummed in response and allowed the other to continue without interruption. He slowed his circles and led his hand to the shoulder to give it a small squeeze.
"If I'm being honest, the thing that upset me the most was the fact that you were in a similar situation as I would have been if I had stayed. It honestly broke me. I don't want that to happen because I don't know if you'd be in any actual danger, your invulnerability seems to be selective at best."
"If it helps you sleep better, I would never let you or anyone else here gets put in harm's way... well, maybe Macaque wouldn't mind if I took my time helping him out."
That got a small chuckle out of the primate, who also offered a small smile before it fell back to the way it was before. Wukong brought his sleepless friend closer and pulled him into a strong yet loose hug. The action was reciprocated with a sadder version of enthusiasm as he was nearly thrown off balance by the force behind it. He started rubbing circles again when he felt the tell-tale signs of sobbing barely heard above the sounds of the night.
"Let it out, I'm not going to judge you for crying."
 
The fireflies were originally just an excuse, but they were very beautiful just blinking in and out of existence in the clearing. He was told that while sleep may have to cut into the daylight hours, Bento would get enough rest to make up for the missed hours no matter what. Wukong found the answer acceptable and allowed the silence to continue while the fireflies continued their display. It was only broken with a content hum of a strange tune that Wukong didn't recognize.
"If I may ask, what is that tune you're humming?"
"What? Oh! That's Nana neném, it's a lullaby. One of my old friends from the bad place would sing to the younger ones and it kind of just stuck with me."
"A lullaby? That's sweet. So when the little ones wouldn't go to sleep your friend would sing to them so they would stop fussing?"
"Pretty much. How about you, anything from your younger years that stayed with you? Maybe something an older friend or parent did for you that stuck around after all this time?"
Wukong pondered for a second, deciding to keep his honest answer instead of the one that wouldn't depress most beings.
"I didn't have parents per se, I came into existence fully grown out of a rock after all. I guess I heard a few songs that I would sometimes sing to my monkeys back on Flower Fruit. Uh, there is... Jasmine Flower, Little Star, and I picked up the Journey to the West song a few years ago."
"Journey to the West? Egotistical much?"
"What can I say? I'm amazing."
Bento laughed at his unintentional humor, which caused him to laugh as well. The pair finally caught their breath and their eyes met, brown eyes staring into gold and red. He wanted to kiss the other so badly.
 
They apparently were taken back to the camp sometime in the night while they were asleep. Judging from how grumpy the second pair of monkeys were, he would have to guess Momo and Macaque were the ones who went out to find them. He made sure to try and find some mangoes when he went out with Kaede to find breakfast for the pair.
He gathered himself and started his morning routine, putting the conversations and events of the night before in the very back of his mind. He wanted to be ready if trouble shows up.
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captain-aralias · 2 years ago
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My Year in Review (but i cut the giant gif)
summary is - my top posts this year are recs, discord links .... and a pregnancy announcement!
I posted 1,105 times in 2022
165 posts created (15%)
940 posts reblogged (85%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@facewithoutheart
@cutestkilla
@artsyunderstudy
@letraspal
@forabeatofadrum
I tagged 908 of my posts in 2022
Only 18% of my posts had no tags
#carry on - 700 posts
#carry on fanart - 277 posts
#fic rec - 235 posts
#my content - 177 posts
#unintended - 38 posts
#snowbaz - 36 posts
#restoration ecology - 31 posts
#simon snow series - 22 posts
#doctor who - 16 posts
#sort of - 10 posts
Longest Tag: 129 characters
#the ones i'm disappointed with didn't quite sell the premise or i had to write them too hurriedly or forgot to bring something in
I sent 3 gifts in 2022
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
life update
i'm 14-weeks pregnant 🎉
due date: 30th may
bit more info below the cut
i thought about making a lulzy WIP wednesday post (aka, "here is what i'm working on") along these lines a few times, but i didn't want to tag anyone into personal stuff they didn't necessarily want, and also i thought i miscarried almost immediately and that started me down a spiral of anxiety, so now it's not so funny. but anyway - i thought today would be a good day to tell people, since we're out the first trimester.
how:
IVF - worked first time
my partner's egg
donor sperm - man it's weird buying sperm, particularly from america, although i only browsed. i bought from the UK. i do know men i could have asked, but in the end i thought... i dont know anyone well enough i'd want to have a child with them. at all.
happy to answer questions about any of the above, if you're interested. thinking of writing a blog about it in my work persona.
how am i?
fine apart from the anxiety!
my main symptoms have been exhaustion, leading to very little writing, and some nausea but pretty weaksauce compared to some
i've told most people at work, which is a very supportive environment, so all good.
my partner's therapist said (to her) not to make big life decisions so soon after the death of my mum/her dad on the same day about a year ago, but we are both in our mid thirties and at our most financially viable, so - hopefully it's fine.
how is baby?
probably ok! we've seen them on several scans, definitely have two arms, two legs, brain, etc
still haven't managed to do the test that tells you the likiehood of Downs etc, though, as the baby has refused to move into a position where they could get a good measurement. we may know towards the end of december - so that is making me More Anxious, but it's still fine
why am i putting this on the internet?
a few reasons.
firstly - i would've told livejournal. the same thing happened when my mum died - i wanted to tell the online community i'm part of, the same way i've told friends and people from work.
but also - because i've been saying i've been tired and that i'm not writing on here, and i wanted everyone to know... this is why. i'm not sick! i'm just pregnant.
AND ... i don't know what the next six months, and then the next.......... twenty years will be like. i'm hoping to write a few more Carry On things before the baby arrives, assuming the second trimester is less tiring (which seems likely so far), but who knows? and probably less after that. BUT WHO KNOWS.
my partner is also a fandom person. i have nine(ish) months of maternity leave (thanks, britain!) and she'll be around for most of that too, thanks to working from home. so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe i'll be writing a bunch of extremely realistic babyfics or something. probably not, but you never know.
anyway!
that's the news.
it may all still go wrong, obviously. we haven't done all the tests, still six months to go.
i'll update with these same tags, if we lose the baby for whatever reason, and i'll update if we don't!
98 notes - Posted December 4, 2022
#4
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Some 'Carry On' Recommendations for your Tuesday
here's some things i've been reading recently that i think other people should read too! thanks for tagging me @messofthejess!
N.B. this list is super long and also only scratching the surface... i should rec more often, anyway - if you see this, please read some of the things as you will really like them, and give the authors some love!
Teen or under
The Plum Tree by @otherpeoplesheartachept-2, under 1k
baz and malcolm talk (without exactly talking) about how baz is a vampire. great characterisation, really nice contained and different piece.
Eight Times Simon Couldn’t Stop Himself by knightinbrightfeathers, RainyForecast, steadfastasthouart (steadfastest) - 12k
just realised this has three authors! really brilliant fic, fangirl-era - but super worth reading, as long as you're ok with simon being smart, and also knowing he's into boys before he kisses baz. (why wouldn't you be?). this is all about simon and baz pranking each other/being generally awful, until they aren't - you see their relationship changing and simon gradually realising what he feels about baz, then there's a telepathy scene! this was recced recently in the discord* so probably lots of people have now read it, but it's seriously good!
Golden Boy by @spockzilla, 9k
magickal mishap, simon turns everything to gold by mistake! this author (also responsible for the fic where simon turns into a frog) is really good at making the silliest things sexy, and sexy things silly - which is a good thing.
end to begin by @tea-brigade, 4k
canon AU, simon and baz are exes, but simon needs baz's help..... really lovely, unusual, interesting and moving fic! i really like how it uses this inciting incident to let baz be kind (that's for me, the most important thing about them being together) and encourage the two of them to have the conversation they should have had a long time ago. works so well.
Trapped by @you-remind-me-of-the-babe based on art by taken_aback_by_Tuesdays,
penny/shepard get together, no snowbaz involved! this fic is criminally unread, because ... it's not snowbaz, but it is BRILLIANT. amazing penny and shepard characterisation, and it's so fun to see them get together a different way... that also involves her saving him.
Explicit
This Will All Go Down In Flames by @facewithoutheart with art by @tea-brigade, 11/17 chapters, 40k, WIP (no sex yet, RIP)
obsessed with this fic right now! band AU where simon and baz briefly bacame friends at school, then became incredibly successful musicians before the band broke up... because simon and baz couldn't communicate about how they fancied each other. it's great! fun, funny, social media stuff, a malcolm trying to be down with the kids, texas references, shepard being a reporter - highly recommend.
Crosse My Heart by @creepyspice with art by @cutestkilla, 5k, brobelove not snowbaz
omg, this fic is so good. seriously - even if you dont think you're into brobelove, you should read this, as i dont believe you could like snowbaz if you don't like the competitive snarky action this fic has in spades, but also if you like brobelove, my god you should read this! such amazing characterisation and super sexy.
Here in the Dark by @artsyunderstudy, 5k
love this middle of the night sex - i'm repeating my comment here, but the whole mood is perfect: confused and dreamlike, you're locked out of baz's POV, entirely in simon's and it works so well for the mood. plus, it's sexy AND there's amazing art to go with it.
Two Heads Are Better Than One by @skeedelvee, 22k
omg, i am obsessed with this fic. it's so deeply strange (simon and baz share the same body, due to - magickal mishap!) AND SO AMAZING AND SEXY. and also romantic and fun. proper enemies to to friends to lovers action, a fantastic scene where simon and baz watch baz's vanilla porn, a bit where they defeat a unicorn together, sex as one person, sex as two people - it's got it all.
*if you're not in this discord, but you'd like to be, this is the link to get in: https://discord.gg/FJ8meVhr
that's enough - i've got more i should rec, but i'll do another post later.
101 notes - Posted August 16, 2022
#3
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Thought it was time to bring this back. 
Discord is a chat room. This is a chat room about Carry On, etc.
Not the only one, but one of the biggest (there are 200+ members). The Discord has:
a strong, active moderator team, who make sure this is a safe space (not me, I’m just a helper)
adult-only areas, and a policy that NSFW stuff is not shared outside of these spaces
places to talk about and share fic, art, meta, fan theories, memes, etc
virtual outings, like fic readings
custom emojis
It’s very nice.
This link will get you in: https://discord.gg/8yZvQK7k 
(it expires in 7 days, so 6th May 2022, but feel free to message me if you see this post and the link’s expired)
You will have to introduce yourself before you’re given access to the server proper, although you don’t have to talk after that, if you don’t want to. You can just quietly vibe. Alternately, you can talk a lot and that’s fine too!
You will also have to sign up to the code of conduct.
If you have trouble getting in/speaking once you’re in, it could be because you haven’t verified your Discord account. There’s a clear prompt on desktop, but not on mobile.
I can confirm I checked with the mod team before making this post. It’s kosher.
Please share this post, if you want to.
108 notes - Posted April 30, 2022
#2
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AU - Canon Divergence Recs
i couldn't think of a good title for this, but basically there have been a few fics recently where i thought: not only is this a great fic, but also this is something i think we could see more in other fics.
basically, they all do a thing that is a good tool to make new fics with. and they're all good fun. here we go:
Eighth Year AU but with Mage-mission
Shiver (rated E) by @facewithoutheart and, yeah, ok me - but not really
for me, an eighth year fic should be about baz being gone/the coffin, magic sharing (with simon and baz much more likely, therefore to be interested in each other quicker), or the plot events of carry on - this one does that. BUT ALSO the plot is driven by simon going on a quest for the mage, which is a classic seventh year trope. cool! (and not my idea)
Post Watford Get Together with Magickal Mishap
Come As You Are (rated E) by @facewithoutheart who sponsored this video
how genius is this? they've left watford, so they've both moved on but magickal mishap happens to simon and that's the plot instigator. simple, but genius.
Genuine new past for Simon and Baz, makes them the same but different
I Know What You Are (rated T) by @martsonmars
ok, other fics have done this too, but i really like this fic and i think the way it does this thing is perfect. simon's grown up with the mage and lucy as his parents; baz has been raised by natasha and malcolm. as a result, when we meet them in eighth year they have completely different histories. it's not only the way they interact with each other that's different, they're both much more confident, have different friends. they really are different people, but the same.
Carry On universe but no Watford
Pretty in Pink (rated T) by @arca9
i was re-reading this one (fake dating heist, love it!) the other day and thinking - this is pretty unique! baz and simon work for the coven, but only just met each other when they became partners, there's no watford. but they use the magic system - it's just a really fun view on what's necessary for your AU to work.
112 notes - Posted June 28, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Top 10 SnowBaz fics
I was talking earlier about how 'What's Left' is one of my top 10, which it is. obviously that made me think.... what are the rest?
i think it's probably instinctively these, these ones that influence me the most/that i've re-read the most/that i most wish i could have written, although i had to delete some real favs to get down to 10, and limited myself to one fic per author. and excluded 'your bloodied mouth' as it ain't finished, but kept 'northern downpour' as i believe it will be.
almost all canon divergence, most have plot and sex.
5 Times They Half-Arsed It by @krisrix
Bound and Determined by @fatalfangirl
Golden Years by @basic-banshee
keep on keeping on by waveydnp
In A Bind by @im-gettingby
Northern Downpour by @scone-lover
Remember the Magic by @sharkmartini
There'll Be Peace When You Are Done by somekindofpath
What's Left by @cutestkilla
When the Bells Ring by @phoxphyre
360 notes - Posted July 1, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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fanfic-chan · 3 years ago
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Hi! I dont know if you already have an idea or something for day 2 but I would love to see something with Shoto waiting to get tickles (since he enjoys them I think) but he doesn't know when he's going to actually get them and the anticipation is killing him hehe, as for the lers it could be anyone you want!
Tickletober Day 2: Anticipation
Eyyy this prompt was so flustering to write hvdhngdgdb!! I really did enjoy it though and I hope you like it! Also, Tickletober Prompts are still open if anyone is interested! You can see which numbers are already taken on the post! This is open to all my current Fandoms but I am in need of some Haikyuu ones so those would be especially appreciated! Thank you!^^
Ler: Bakugou
Lee: Todoroki
"Shut up you overglorified hotpocket!!! Stop laughing or I'll kill you!!"
"I- I'm sohohohorry, it's just- Youhou just- pffftahahaha!!!" He really did try, but by that point, Shouto was giggling so much that he just couldn't seem to stop.
It had all started when he and Bakugou were sitting in the common room together, quietly watching some cooking competition that was on. Bakugou had ended up getting mad at one of the participants for some reason, leaping up and exclaiming that whatever they'd done was 'a crime against food!' at the exact same time that Gordon Ramsay said the same thing on the TV, and as if that wasn't funny enough by itself, the remote that Bakugou had flung into the air in his outrage ended up smacking him right in the head when it fell back down, making him yelp in surprise. For whatever reason, Todoroki had found this entire display completely hilarious and had burst into the most joyous and uncharacteristic giggles that anyone had ever heard from him, and Bakugou's reaction to this only seemed to make it even worse.
First, something like shock and awe had crossed his face, having never really heard the usually stoic boy like that laugh before unless he was being tickled, then it morphed into confusion when he couldn't figure out why he was laughing, then finally anger when realization finally seemed to settle in and it became obvious that he was laughing at him.
"Fine! You want something to laugh about? You got it!"
"No wait! Bahahakugou wait! I'm sohohohorry!"
Todoroki yelped when he was suddenly tackled onto the couch and immediately dissolved into cackles when his friend started ruthlessly digging into his sides. 
"AIEEEHE- NO! Bakuhuhugou! Wahahahait!  PLEAHEHEASE! I'M SOHOHOHORRY!!!"
"NOPE! IT'S WAY TO LATE FOR THAT NOW!! DIE!!!"
Todoroki screeched helplessly and tried to squirm away, but that only caused Bakugou to straddle him, making any previous hopes of escape quickly fade away from his mind, and since he didn't suspect that he'd be getting out of this for quite a while, he simply went limp, squeezed his eyes shut, and latched onto his classmates wrists for dear life, preparing himself to endure Bakugou's merciless wrath. 
But then something strange happened. All at once, not even a minute after it had started, it stopped, and he peeked an eye open in confusion (and disappointment) to see Bakugou staring down at his hands with a devious smile. 
"Hmm, actually, I think I have an even better idea of how to get my revenge on you for laughing at me."
Oh, Todoroki did not trust that tone of voice. He squeaked in surprise when Bakugou suddenly tugged his hands out of his grip and grabbed one of his wrists, pushing his hand flat to his chest so that it was facing palm upward. 
Oh.
Oh no.
Satisfied with the horrified expression on his victim's face as reality set in, Bakugou grinned and slowly brought his other hand up to wiggle his fingers just above Todoroki's trapped palm, just to tease him, and Shouto couldn't help but shiver slightly, pressing himself deeper into the couch cushions, and he started giggling uncontrollably when the blonde started ghosting his fingers over the sensitive skin at his wrist. He squeezed his eyes shut in agony. Oh God why couldn't he just do it already?! The anticipation was killing him!
This little game lasted quite a few more minutes, with Bakugou teasing him ruthlessly and Todoroki squealing at every little phantom touch, before finally the explosive teen decided to get it over with, and the second his fingers made contact with his palm, Todoroki lost his mind to breathless laughter that wouldn't stop for quite a while yet.
One thing was for certain. He definitely would not be laughing at Bakugou again. Atleast, not to his face anyway.
112 notes · View notes
narisjournal-blog · 4 years ago
Text
These Nights
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Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Chuck x Reader
Fluff
Words: 1685
Notes: This was a request from honestly years ago and I’m such an asshole for only just posting this - I’m so so sorry. I haven’t included the name or request as it was quite personal. You know who you are :) This is of course a soft, fluffy, loving Chuck from before The Twist in Supernatural. 
Thanks for reading!
***
Warm water cascaded over your hair and your shoulders, soaking you in a chaotic, relentless stream. 
You had long finished your shower but still you stood unmoving in its grasp.
It was cold out there and dark. You held onto the reprieve a little longer.
You gave a heavy sigh.
‘I wish you would show your face,’ you said. ‘I wish... I need...’ 
you sighed again, shaking your head. 
Standing up, you turned off the shower and stepped out. 
You grabbed a towel and quickly wrapped it round you, shivering. 
Once in your pyjamas you sat heavily on your bed and towelled at your hair. You gave up quickly and curled up on your bed, letting the tears flow. All you could see behind tightly closed lids was his face. Those big blue eyes, both gentle and stern at the same time. Chuck- the god you never knew you needed. 
What would he think of you now? You so desperately wanted to see him, but not like this. He would be so disappointed, you thought. 
‘I wish I could be what you want me to be,’ you choked out. 
You always intended to pray before bed; to check in, pay respects and show you were thankful. Like in the movies, knelt by your bed, peaceful and worthy. 
But it never worked out like that. The more you thought about what you wanted to say, the more overwhelmed you became and realised he would never have the time to sit and listen to all of that. 
You began to shiver, partly from your damp hair but mostly from the despair that was taking hold of you.
You felt the mattress dip and you gasped. Then you felt a warm hand on your back and his calm took over you.
You looked up into big blue eyes, full of concern. 
‘Do you really believe that?’ Said Chuck softly. ‘That I don’t have time for you?’
‘It’s not... I mean... I’m just a giant waste of your time. I’m sorry,’ you cringed. 
‘Please,’ He said. ‘Don’t ever apologise for existing.’ Chuck gave your arm a squeeze. ‘And no, you’re not.’
You wiped your eyes and sat up.
‘You have far more important things and I’ve dragged you here.’
‘With all due respect, y/n, you don’t get to tell me how to spend my time.’
You couldn’t look in his eyes long. They broke you. There was so much love that you just couldn’t handle. 
Your shame made you wish you were alone again. 
‘But you don’t really want me to leave, do you?’ He stated softly. 
You continued looking down at the bed.
After an abnormally long silence you gave the smallest shake of your head and sighed. 
‘Is there anything you want to talk about?’ He said, hand resting on your back just below your damp hair.
You shrugged and stuttered. ‘I ... there’s...’ 
So much, you thought. But I can’t even begin to wrap my brain around it. 
You knew he could hear you.
You know what, sometimes I’m just so tired of trying to figure this all out or having to figure out what I mean or where I belong. Sometimes I need you to just tell me! Sometimes I need...
‘Sometimes words are hard. I understand.’
You held your forehead in your hands, as if in some desperate attempt to hide your face. The man was infuriating. You wanted to scream at him, but all you could do was huff out a breath. He could feel you shaking by now. 
‘But you know sometimes the best way to figure things out and understand your needs is to talk. Even if it seems stupid or redundant to you in this moment.’
‘You’re God,’ you almost whispered. ‘You know everything. It is redundant.’
This is why you were better alone. You drew your knees up to your chest and buried your face in your arms.
‘Look you can just go,’ you mumbled. ‘I’m sorry.’ 
He obviously knew what you were going through but was choosing not to help and you felt embarrassed you had even thought about bringing him here. 
After a long silence you realised his hand had not moved from your back. 
‘I’m not going anywhere.’ 
You lifted your head and chanced a glance sideways at him. Your gaze was met by the brightest blue and a rush of warmth and love flooded you again. You looked away.
‘Ok, here’s a deal. You tell me about one thing that’s on your mind and then no more talking, I promise. Deal?’
You sighed heavily. You spoke as the words formed in your mind, slowly and broken up.
‘I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I feel like...’ you swallowed the lump In Your throat but it didn’t stop your voice from cracking.
‘I feel like I’m not ... not good enough at anything... like I just...’ your voice dropped to a whisper. ‘Take up space.’ 
Chuck rested his head against yours and pulled you into him closer with a sigh. 
He kissed the top of your head and pulled back, brushing hair from your face. His eyes connected with yours and you felt a weight lift of your chest before he had even spoken.
‘Y/N, you matter so much to me. I created you and I have no regrets. I am proud of you every single day because of how strong you are.’
You looked away. ‘I’m not.’
‘Don’t argue with me,’ he said, his voice firm and authoritative now.
Your head whipped back up, surprised by his tone.
Piercing blue charged right through to your soul when he looked into your eyes now.
‘You are strong,’ he affirmed. ‘Strong doesn’t feel easy. You’re stronger than you know.’
Tears began to spill once more, but this time it felt like freedom. For that moment as he held you, you felt truly safe. Loved.
He continued. ‘It might not be clear now. You feel a little lost, I can see that. Trust me. I’ve got you, and you have so much purpose.’
Your shoulders shook as you cried, and he squeezed you once more. Without speaking, he helped you dry your hair, holding you when you shivered.
‘Can you make it warmer?’ you whispered, teeth chattering. He chuckled, pulling the bedcovers back and helping you into bed.
You lay down, curled up on your side and felt Chuck’s warmth move through you as he lay next to you.
You didn’t need to say anything else. You just lay there, allowing yourself to feel safe and relaxing fully for the first time in maybe years. Chuck stroked your hair and said softly, ‘You haven’t been sleeping too good.’
His hand rested on your forehead and you felt a peace radiate from his palm.
‘Goodnight,’ he whispered as you felt your eyelids close and the calm of sleep envelope you.
**
It was already light when you woke, which hadn’t happened for a very long time. Your cheeks flushed with warmth and you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes. Your mind slowly uncoiled itself and you rolled onto your back to find the bedsheets beside you cold. He was gone. Of course he was gone.
Had he really meant all those things, or was he just trying to get some peace away from your spiralling thoughts?
You breathed in deeply, trying not to let your mind poison the calm you had felt with him and – was that cinnamon you smelled? You sat up. It was definitely cinnamon. Sweet cinnamon, and you could hear music. No, singing. You could hear singing.
Pulling a hoodie on, you stood up and made your way downstairs towards the sound.
And there in your kitchen, pulling something out of the oven and humming to himself, was Chuck.
He turned as you entered and beamed. ‘Right on time,’ he said.
‘Did you make cinnamon buns?’
‘I know how much you love them, but never have the energy to make them.’ He placed the tray down on the heat proof mat on the side. Mixing bowls lay strewn clumsily about the sink. Of all the thoughts you could have had in that moment, you honestly wondered if God was going to wash the dishes.
‘You’ve made a mess,’ you added, nodding in that direction.
Chuck raised an eyebrow and folded his arms across his chest.
‘I mean… Thank you,’ you garbled. ‘I- thank you. I love them.’ You surveyed the kitchen once again.
‘But couldn’t you just, you know…’ you pointed your finger, indicating using his powers.
‘Ah, that’s no fun,’ he shrugged.
Chuck leaned across to the cafetiere you had forgotten you had and pushed the top down.
‘I thought you’d have gone. I was expecting you to be gone when I woke up.’
Chuck smiled again. ‘I’m never really gone, you know,’ he said. He poured coffee into a mug and handed it to you, the heat sharp against your palm. ‘I’m always here. Next time you taste coffee, remember this moment.’
You sipped the strong liquid and savoured the taste.
‘Next time you lie in bed feeling alone, remember me there next to you.’
‘Next time I wash the dishes, I’ll remember when you used my kitchen,’ you said with a smirk.
‘Next time you taste a cinnamon bun’- you cut him off.
‘I get the idea, Chuck. So are those ready to eat, or what?’
He chuckled as he divided them onto plates and guided you over to the kitchen table.
And for the first time in forever, the day ahead was filled with hope and the promise that you were not doing this alone.
***
Tags:
(I hope I’ve got my list right, I may have missed a few changes people have requested - if I have I’m sorry. My list is a clusterfuck tbh.)
Everything list:
@afanofmanystuffs
@trashforwinchesters
@yourewelcomeforbeingmyfriend
@natasha-cole
@greenappleeyes
@bisexualdolphinthings
@i-dont-understand-that-url
@misszombicorn
@lucerospn1detc
@robjackface
Rob/chuck list:
@tas898
@destielschild
@girl-next-door-writes
@winchestergirl-13
@a-banana-for-your-thoughts
@jelly-beans-and-gstrings
@kocswain
@gettingbywithalittlehelp96
@itsfunnierin-enochian
@rblstrash
@megthemewlingquim
@holamishamigos
182 notes · View notes
spade-riddles · 4 years ago
Text
"Adjusting Expectations" Post
This submission received a lot of responses and 120 notes, so I thought I would compile the comments here.
Anonymous said:
Adjusting expectations anon was so good. If their timetables are right and we do just need to be patient a little longer, can Kaylor please send us a sign? I guess it would be too loud to slip "adjusting expectations" into social media posts, but maybe they could both do something with playing cards? To show they are card sharks right now but they'll find their way home eventually? That would reassure people. And it would fly under the radar.
casuallycruel131313 said:
I agree with a lot of this but I think the main issue right now is that moral and ethical lines have been crossed and there's no coming back from that. In these post-Trumpian insurrectionist times it's unfathomable that they could continue the Kushner narrative I no longer care if or when they come out, I enjoy the music and I'm happy to observe from a distance because I'm interested from a PR/marketing point of view but my opinion of T &K as people has changed irrevocably and I don't see how they can clean the tarnish off.
@theprologues said:
Agree with most of not all if this but I would like to say as a Kaylor the toe Grammy stunt didn’t phase me. I was not crushed by that by any means. I just shrugged and honestly expected it. It was the attributing Betty and exile to him during the LPSS in November that bummed me out and really made me go...really?
rockcrow20 said:
Have to say I also agree with most of this.
I no longer have any expectations on anything changing any time soon and have not been surprised by the recent events its to be expected after everything over the years really
Nothing has really changed (bearding narrative wise) since I fell down the rabbit hole in 2017 (except that great night in nashville 2018 rep)
Honestly I can't say I am as invested anymore about them ever coming out as I was.
I think the wb/Joe thing was the last moment for me and the continual kushner connection just troubles me like many others.
I mean my kaylor motto for awhile now has been hope for the best but expect disappointment.
Low expectations = limited feelings of disappointment.
original-cypher said:
@rockcrow20 the WB was a breaking point for so many. You are absolutely right. There are just so ma'y contradictions that feel like absolute whiplash. (I know I seem to have been the only one experiencing that with Gorgeous but... that was a big one for me, too) But like. You go on a whole PR campaign about speaking up and standing up for yourself. You say you're capable and tired of men trying to take ownership of your success and profit off of your name. And you credit you literal damn work to a bloke? Bitch, 'consistency'? Look it up. It grossed me out. It would have felt iffy if I believed they were real. But since I wasn't born yesterday it just sent me the message "this is how far I'm willing to sacrifice my principles to not be queer".
rockcrow20 said:
@original-cypher exactly why it bothered me and I know alot us so much. Such mixed messaging of being a strong fighting for your rights female and then oh hey let me attribute some of my best work to my pr boyfriend and the pr pics where she is walking behind all the time like 🙄 The Betty thing that was big one for me too!
rainbowdaisy13 said:
This write up and the comments are spot on. I don’t have much to add other than like @original-cypher said, Miss Americana is tainted for me now and seems like at the very least, it was released too soon in the plan. I get we think they have had to pivot but man, that doc, and including her literally saying “gay rights make me me” at the end was such a false flag. To see her wax poetic about not taking shit from men anymore and then see her do the same old hetero weak woman song and dance routine with the WB shit for albums that are of her genius mind has been so disappointing. I still believe Kaylor is real and I hope they get a chance to show the world that. Karlie posting that cardigan pic in the woods before the folklore release cemented for me they are still together. Adding a baby makes me feel all kind of weird ethical things but I hope I live long enough to see it play out and wear my I Told You So shirt 😁
@kellykaylor said:
agree with your post... I dont care about toe stunts but what really pissed me of was hetwashing betty 🤮! beautiful post tho anon!!
roameroo said:
Totally agree with these all comments especially the strong messaging of MA only to turn around & pull that WB = my "bf" crap. I was disheartened by her mentioning him at the Grammy's only bc he's getting credit for sh*t he doesn't/didn't do. That is what irks me the most about this, giving him credit for her life's work.
always-the-last-word said:
Can I throw my pennies in the pool ?? Taylor will put out the big three first Fearless, RED then 1989 that should bring us to about August. This is where the excitement should begin. If Taylor preps and waits for National Coming Out day it's a no lose for her. Lover her money making machine will go through the roof !! If things go bad or good in the public eye she'll have REPUTATION Taylor's Version ready to release. It will be epic and she'll own it and be FREE.
@karlie-what-you-want said:
always-the-last-word I like this take a lot! I try not to be too optimistic but if she wanted to come out sooner rather than later, I think this plan would satisfy both business and PR needs (at least on Taylor’s end). Remains to be seen how Tay will help Karlie dig her way out of the mess they made together regarding the K*shners.
always-the-last-word said:
Always remember that Taylor has a PLAN. Some of her plans are year's old (easter eggs). Taylor's one and only LOVE is her music, everything else comes second. If KK wants to change and be with her full time she'll make moves around the same time frame. That's if she chooses to. In any event Tay will be open and own all her music. I've seen this film before and WE might not like the ending.
chosetherose said:
I’ve been going back and forth for a day trying to figure out what I wanted to say when I reblogged this post. I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I understand I’m owed nothing by Taylor or Karlie. I understand that circumstances out of their control have caused the girls to pivot over and over again.
But, the root of my frustration in the past months stems not from me battling with the trivial (e.g. pap walks, etc.) but with my personal principles. I fiercely believe credit should be given where it is earned and I uphold this in my career regularly. To see Taylor crediting Toe with her art was deeply disappointing. Watch the 1989 and folklore acceptance speeches back to back and tell me it doesn’t upset you. I believe the K******s have blood on their hands and that their actions during the pandemic have killed people. To see Karlie still associating with one of them disgusts me.
I can’t help but think back in frustration - Would you really fall from grace to touch her face? (And in the brilliant words of @9w1ft) But would you die for her in public? I go back and forth feeling like questions like this aren’t fair at all and thinking they are sort of valid. At this point, it sort of feels like Taylor would only fall from grace for her lover if all the stars and facets of her life aligned perfectly. But perfection like this does not happen. Such is life. So why am I here?
I do question why Spade left certain messages in their final days. I am still holding hope a fervent revolution exonerates everyone. I so desperately want Taylor to regain control of her masters or re-records. Maybe this is the plan they thought was best with multiple goals in mind (re-records, having a family, coming out of the closet one day etc). I’m trying to remain patient because Spade told us to trust her endless yearning. But WOW it is asking a lot of us at this point.
Anonymous said:
Despite being a pragmatist kaylor and oftentimes getting into arguments with fellow optimistic kaylors (owner of this blog included) I think it's quite unfair -at this point- to say to the optimists who have patiently sat through the worst kind of stunts with the most terrible kind of people (yes I'm talking about the Kushner's friend group too) that they should have seen it coming. Besides, if it weren't for the optimists we the cynicals would have burned this fandom down by now.
Anonymous said:
Even if we ignore that an insurrection happened partially because of the family karlie's still working for and getting paid from, she literally said before the pregnancy debacle unfolded that j*sh was her last client while talking about cutting hair and doing a cutting gesture. How should we have interpreted that? 😤That a year later she would be more stuck with the Kushners than ever? We don't wake up on day and decide to have unrealistic expectations. She feeds into them. 😠
Anonymous said:
I have no expectation of Taylor coming out anymore. Zero. None. I have no expectation of her dropping Toe or even of Kaylor publicly reuniting. It doesn't even matter that much anymore. But I - do - expect 1 thing. Karlie to drop and completely dissociate herself from the Kushners and this has nothing to do with kaylor. It was everything to do with me being unable to support a person who willfully assists (now using her baby too) and receives money from a family that has made so many suffer.
Anonymous said:
A quick word from an ex-kaylor (who will never become an anti). A year ago, when the Trumps were still in power and untouchable and there was no baby, I was excusing and turning a blind eye to many things Karlie did for the K*shners. Even that dinner in September. I had also made peace with the truth never being revealed. But a year later the Trumps are gone, Karlie is still on full stunting mode now with a baby in the mix, a baby that is already being used by the Kushners, and I've really run out of excuses. Now the only thing that could possibly keep me on board is if I knew there was a good chance that the full truth would come out, so that Karlie's inexplicable and honestly borderline immoral actions could eventually make sense. But as your sub said, this is an unrealistic expectation, thus I became an ex-kaylor and I'm not planning to come back even when they reunite. 😕
Anonymous said:
What baffles me is that Taylor has explicitly expressed her regret about not giving her lover the credit she deserves and her doubt whether fame is worth hiding her true love: "when I walked up to the podium, I think I forgot to say your name", "what's a lifetime of achievement, if I pushed you to the edge". But yet again she didn't do anything to change this. I didn't expect her to acknowledge Karlie, but a nod or at least not falsely crediting her beard would be a good start.
Anonymous said:
1🙁 Let me chime in re: "expectations". I'm one of the kaylors who ever since the pregnancy reveal was trying to tell everyone there's NO way she was gonna dump him soon after birth let alone before that. It would bring too much unnecessary attention and Jerk would have never agreed to something that would make him look like a bad guy/husband. For the exact same reasons, I was also saying there's no way he wasn't going to post about the baby. All the above against the popular opinion back then.
2🙁 So I agree that the day of the birth post was known to T, not the timing though. Simply bc Kushner-leaning outlets made sure to note that detail. If they wanted it to go unnoticed, why draw attention to it? That being said, kaylors would have been more patient with this mess, if Karlie hadn't gone overboard with her freedom "smoke signals" last summer and Tay's "insiders" hadn't been insinuating that the end is VERY near. Both of them SHOULD have known by then how we would react to these.
3🙁 So it's natural that everyone feels played and has no patience for any more bullshit. Another sore point is how Jerk AND the Kushner-Trump klan monopolize the baby news. This isn't just to make it realistic, it's an abuse of Kaylor's baby's name to garner good pr for the worst family in America, with Karlie's blessing. In order for her marriage and split to appear realistic she's putting a LIFETIME burden on her child's back. Unless you believe she's eventually gonna say Jerk isn't the dad.
4🙁 So "we’re in a position we should realistically have been able to see coming". But we did see it coming, that why some made these extreme scenarios, bc this is the worst possible outcome. "Good people try to make it work, even in bad relationships." Ultimately this isn't just a "bad rs". It's a horrific association that should have been resolved ages ago, not one to bring your child into, doom it to suffer a similar fate, and expect people to sit idly and watch. That's what frustrates most.
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that-sarcastic-writer · 5 years ago
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Once upon a time in NYU- MGG AU
Fandom: MGG, Criminal Minds
Pairing: College!Matthew X College!Reader
Summary: you couldn't stand Matthew, and he couldn't stand you. But you couldn't say the same when you were in his bed
Warnings: alternative universe, enemies to lovers relationship, cursing duh, hair pulling, fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, bad writing basically
WC: 6.1k 
A/N: so I saw I think it was @eideticmemory​ write an enemies to lovers college fic and like a light just went on in my head, and I really wanted to that because I've always wanted to, but also give it my own twist and touch of course, so I guess this my attempt at writing a multi-chapter Matthew fic. Will I succeed? Probably not. But it's a good excuse to write smut after a year so we'll see. ALSO HUGE TW I understand posting this now might be a bit of a bad timing. So if you think that reading this will trigger you in any way, just go ahead and skip this one. I dont want to trigger anyone in any way, I just want to entertain you guys and myself in the process so yeah, read at your own risk and please please stay safe. And this is going to be a bit long so strap in yall and enjoy the poorly written sin. 
Andddd huge huge thanks to my friend Kara (idk if shes reading this but yeah) for helping me edit this, she helped me make this so much better for you guys and she literally so amazing for actually spending the time to help me. So yeah, 
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You know when something bad happens, you’re always told to see the bright side of things? That maybe that unfortunate event isn’t as bad as you feel it is? Yeah, well, that doesn’t always apply, and it certainly didn’t when I found out I was partnered with the one person I was hoping I wouldn’t get paired with for my end of the semester film project. 
Seriously, out of the nearly hundred students that were enrolled in my film class, I had to get paired up with him, him out of all people, literally the one person I was praying wouldn't get paired up with. Not only because I was forced to work with someone, because honestly all I wanted was to work alone, I had to get paired with Matthew fucking Gubler.
You know when people say God has his favourites? Yeah, well I certainly wasn't one of them.
Now, I didn’t necessarily hate Matthew Gubler. I didn't hate him for no reason, I didn't just wake up one day and decided I was just going to hate Matthew. There was a time where I actually liked him, I liked him more than I'd like to admit, deep down I still did. And I knew he liked me too, he did then at least. And we were good together, it was fun, we had a fun first couple of dates. To this day, they were the nicest dates I ever had, because he knew just how to make them special. I mean, when a guy takes you to the Neue Galerie here in New York and have nice long walk through Central Park, a walk filled with laughter and bliss, it has to be special, and in a weird way, he was special too. 
And as much as I wanted more than just two or three dates, I would've been perfectly fine if he had told me what he wanted from the start. If he had suddenly changed his mind about me, I would've accepted it, and I would've been able to live a happy life as his friend if that's what he wanted.
But he didn't, and instead I found out he had other interests. And I didn't hear it from him, I heard it from my friend. She didn't even need to tell me who it was, because the minute she told me where he took her, I knew. He took her to the same place he took me not even two weeks later and then acted like I was nothing the next time he saw me. And my god did that fucking hurt. It hurt me in a way I had never been hurt before, because I thought he was different, I was hoping he was. And convincing myself that I hated him was much easier than facing the fact that it hurt. And I never addressed it ever again, not that Matthew cared enough to actually talk about us, or, whatever we were. So instead we just made each other's existence miserable.
No, what I felt for Matthew wasn't hate, it was just the strong need to stay ten feet away from him so I wouldn't shove a five foot pole up his ass. That's how I felt about Matthew Gubler.
And now, here I was, aggressively shoving my laptop and notebook into my bag so I could leave the auditorium as quickly as possible, or at least quick enough to avoid Matthew, because knowing how he was, he would come straight to me to rub our partnership in my face. And I was right, because the minute we were dismissed, I spotted his lanky frame starting to come down from the top rows where he usually sat, and he was headed my way.
Screaming a big nope in my head, I strapped my bag over my shoulder and headed straight for the exit. I knew I couldn't avoid him forever, especially now but, I just needed a minute to mentally prepare myself to deal with him, a minute and probably a bottle of booze. But I didn't get either because the minute I was out those doors, I heard the unmistakable sound of his voice calling my name. 
Great.
"Y/N! Y/N wait!" I heard Matthew call out, followed my rushed footsteps coming from behind me.
"Hey, partner, I'm glad I caught you before you left. You weren't trying to run away from me were you?" He teased, throwing one of his particularly long arms over my shoulder.
If I had rolled my eyes any harder they probably would've gotten stuck there. I groaned, grabbing a hold of his arm and unwrapping it not so subtly before dropping it beside him, "first of all, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't touch me,  and second of all, just please go away, Matthew. I have a class I have to get to." I muttered, walking slightly faster and keeping my gaze forward, refusing to even look at him.
If there was something I've learned about Matthew in the two long years I've known him is that he usually goes away on his own if I don't give him the attention he wanted. I was hoping this was one of those times, because I was not in the mood to deal with him right now.
But alas, he didn't, he walked faster, staying beside me the whole time. "But I wasn't even doing anything. I was just saying hi." He defended, and I could just hear the smile on his face even when I wasn't even looking at him. 
I rolled my eyes harder, letting out a small breath through my lips, "what do you want Matthew?"
"When can we meet up? I already have an idea for our project and I think you're going to love it."
I chuckled sarcastically, finding his words actually hilarious, "If you came up with it I seriously doubt it." I sighed heavily, digging my teeth into my bottom lip before speaking, "tonight after I finish my shift, I guess. The quicker we can start, the quicker we can get it over with, soo..."
"Great. It's a date then, see you tonight, sweetheart." He hummed, ghosting his lips over my ear, his lips smacking loudly as he pretended to kiss it before he quickly took off in the other direction before I could even say anything.
This fucking guy.
~~~~~~~~~~
"I seriously do not understand how you fucking dated this guy, he's so obnoxious and annoying, how could anyone want to date someone like that." I complained to my friend and roommate Liz. I met her for a quick lunch break before my afternoon class and I just had to let her know how unhappy I was about my partnership with Matthew. She was amused to say the least.
"You make it sound like we dated for years, we dated for a few months, but he's not even that bad." she argued.
I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest and leaned back into my seat with an unamused expression, just waiting for Liz to bury herself further up Matthew's ass. I always had the feeling she still had feelings for him, as much as she insisted it was just a meaningless relationship. And as much as they were just friends now, I just knew she wanted more with him. But it wasn't really my place to question that, not that it mattered to me anyway.
"He's a pretty cool and fun guy to be around, you just never gave him a chance. You've hated him ever since you met him for absolutely no reason, you never gave yourself the chance to get to know him better." Liz insisted, she always did. She always insisted Matthew was such a great guy I never gave the change to get to know. 
I had let out a heavy sigh in annoyance of her defense of Matthew before responding, "yeah well, it doesn't really matter since I'm being forced to anyway. And he's coming over tonight to start our project. Can't fucking wait."
I could've sworn I saw Liz's expression change into a mixture of surprise and something I could've easily confused with jealousy. She pursed her lips together and her eyes darted everywhere, like she was avoiding making any kind of eye contact with me.
But, it couldn't be jealousy? What even is there to be jealous of? Her and the whole world knew how I felt about Matthew, her out of all people knew it better than anyone.
"Oh, he is? Well, I'm not really going to be home tonight, I would've given you company so it wouldn't be so awkward with him." She frowned, she sounded disappointed, angry even. She looked uncomfortable, like she was deeply bothered by something, by something I said.
It was weird, I wasn't exactly sure what to say, I wasn't really sure why my news seemed to bother her as much as it did. It's not like I was going to sleep with Matthew while she was away or something. It didn't really matter though, I didn't have time to answer. Thank God.
"I'm sorry Liz but I have to go, I have class in like ten minutes." I excused myself, eating whatever was left on my plate in a matter of seconds before I stood up from my seat and gathered my belongings, "I'll see you later and wish me luck." I said quickly before taking off, not giving her the chance to respond.
~~~~~~~~~~
Usually, I pray for shifts to be over as soon as possible, for it to be slow so I can go home early. Today though, today I prayed for just the opposite. I was hoping the end of my shift wouldn't come, and when it did, that it would be too late and I would be able to cancel my meet up with Matthew.
But like I said, I wasn't one of God's favourites. And today out of all days, it was the slowest it has ever been and my shift ended rather quickly, quicker than I had hoped.
Groaning loudly at the evening that awaited me, I walked down the long halls of my floor, standing outside of my dorm room, dreading my evening already.
Figuring I should just get it over with, I went to get the key on the lock of my door, but noticed it was already unlocked. Liz probably forgot to lock the door, again. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head at my stupid roommate before turning the knob, opening the door. And my jaw dropped the minute I stepped into the room, not believing what my eyes saw.
You've got to be fucking kidding me.
"Matthew, what the fuck are you doing in my dorm and in my bed!? How did you even get in here?" I nearly screamed at the tall brunette that was carelessly laying on my bed with what I figured was one of my books in his hand.
Matthew turned his head towards me, a carefree and calm look plastered all over his face before his eyes went back to the pages in front of him., "oh, well, Liz let me in before she went to work. I hope you don't mind." He responded nonchalantly, continuing to flick through the pages of the book he had in his hand.
I stared at him with absolute disbelief and a loud scoff left my lips as I slightly pitched the bridge of my nose, trying not to throw the nearest object at his face, "yes, I do mind, in fact. You can't just come into somebody's dorm, lie on their bed and go through their stuff. Seriously dude, what is wrong with you?"
I just couldn't believe this guy. He just knew how to get on my nerves without even doing anything. 
Matthew, of course, couldn't have cared any less about whatever I was saying. And it wasn't that he wasn't listening, because he was, he had that stupid smile on his face that proved he was in fact listening to every word I was saying. He just didn't care, or he did, but he just liked getting on my nerves. He loved pushing every single one of my buttons until I snapped. And I had no idea why. I had no idea why he liked annoying me so much.
I exhaled heavily through my nose, closing my eyes slightly as I ran a hand through my hair exasperatedly, "I just can't fucking deal with you. I can't." I huffed, dropping my bag from my shoulder and walked to the opposite side of my room, facing away from him, not even wanting to look at his face.
"Tell me something, sweetheart," Matthew spoke, curiosity and a slight bit of amusement lingering on his words.
"What."
"Why do you hate me so much? You've hated me ever since I dated Liz back in our first year of college and I never truly understood why," he questioned with genuine curiosity, but there was also a certain playfulness in his voice. I opened my mouth to answer, still not facing him, and I was so ready to tell him off, god knows I've been wanting to but he cut me off. "Is it because I never slept with you?"
My eyes instantly widened at his words, a clearly offended scoff leaving my lips as I turned around to face him, "what? No, of course not, I—" my words got caught in my throat when I saw his tall frame towering over me, my eyes getting stuck on his chest before they traveled up to his face, and he was close. Extremely close. I swallowed thickly, feeling slightly cornered by his significantly taller frame so I stepped back, trying to create some kind of distance between us, but he simply followed me. "I, uhm, that's not why I don't like you, Matthew. I don't like you because you're an insensitive asshole and—"
"Oh, I know why you hate me," he cut me off again, slowly running his tongue to wet his perfectly pink lips. "You hate me because I dated Liz and not you."
His proclamation made my eyes grow even wider and my mouth hung open as I stammered for words. I wanted to disagree, I truly wanted to tell him that he was wrong. But honestly, he wasn't altogether wrong. I couldn't say some of my resentment didn't come from a deep rooted feeling of rejection. Because while most of that resentment came from that place of genuine hurt, my resentment was fueled by frustration and a shameless sense of envy.
But it was just easier to convince myself that I hated him than to admit that I still liked him and that it hurt me that he chose my friend over me.
But of course, I would never admit to that, especially not to him.
Avoiding eye contact, I looked down and shook my head, running my tongue to wet my suddenly dry lips, "of-of course not. Why—why would I care about your dating life? You can fuck whoever you want, I don't care." I wish I sounded more confident when I said that. But my stuttering words and my unsteady legs gave him exactly what he wanted.
And the bastard actually chuckled. He fucking chuckled.
"But you do, you do care. You care because you haven't stopped thinking about us and me since our first year." He grinned, digging his teeth into his perfect lips as he brought a hand to cup my face, lifting it so I had no other choice but to look at him.
And I was fucking gone.
It was like, all of that anger, frustration and hatred just vanished and instead turned into longing want. Want for him to just take me and do whatever he pleases with me. I was practically nothing in his hands, and I was nothing waiting for him to make me something. Waiting for him to make me his.
And that absolutely delighted the bastard. He found amusement in having the power I never allowed him to have. But right now, I just couldn't fight it.
I always knew that if I ever found myself alone and in this situation with Matthew Gubler, I would lose, no matter how much I tried to convince myself otherwise.
And he knew that too.
"That's it, isn't? You want me to fuck you like I fucked your friend." He smirked, almost like he was proud to say it. And he stared, his usually soft amber eyes now brown and darkened with want.
Who the fuck was this guy and where did Matthew go? Matthew Gubler was the most awkward and disgraceful guy when it came to women. The poor guy couldn't even flirt his way out of a wet paper bag. And yet, somehow, here he was, with this new found confidence and the ability to turn me into a shaking and stuttering mess. Who fucking knew.
Once again, I stammered for words, I truly wanted to tell him otherwise. I wanted to scream in his face and push him away, but I couldn't. Not that I wanted to.
He took my lack of response as the answer he was looking for and brought his other hand to my waist, backing me up against the nearest wall, caging me between the hard surface behind me and his body, which right now, seemed so much bigger than mine.
My breathing instantly skyrocketed as I felt the same hand that was on my waist sneak its way past the ends of my dress and up my bare thighs, ones that shook like an earthquake as the pads of his fingers slowly rubbed the tense skin. Like he was testing the waters. Testing how well my body reacted to his touch.
And it wasn't subtle. At all.
"W-what—what are you doing?" I almost squealed, my voice practically betraying me.
"Oh? Well, I'm just giving you what you wanted. I'm giving you what you've been wanting for years." He stated so casually, like he had no idea what he was doing to me. And just as casually, he slowly ran a finger over the thin cotton fabric of my underwear, touching me, but definitely not in the way I needed to be touched.
I wished my body didn't betray me like it did though. I couldn't even hold back the breathy moan that escaped my lips when his fingers made contact with the thin material. But Matthew certainly loved the response I gave him.
"Because this is what you've been wanting, isn't it? You've been thinking about how my fingers would feel buried inside your little cunt. Or how good you would feel around my cock." He taunted, it was almost cynical just how easily those filthy words rolled off his usually reserved tongue. "I'm not gonna lie, I've thought about it too, you have no idea how many times I've thought about having your filthy mouth wrapped around me. Or how pretty you would look begging me for more." 
I opened my mouth to speak but my words instantly got caught in my throat when the sneaky bastard pulled the fabric to the side and dipped his fingers into the soaking mess that was my core.
And if there were any rational thoughts still hanging in my head, all of those just went straight out the window when another moan erupted from my throat and my head fell back into the wall behind me.
"See just how much easier things are when you just shut the fuck up and stop fighting so much?" He almost whispered, his lips ghosting over the skin on my neck as a lithe finger gathered my wetness and spread it over my clit.
Despite being a complete whimpering mess at that point, I managed to spit out a surprisingly harsh, "fuck you." 
It was a pretty convincing retort. One that didn't exactly have the effect I hoped for though.
I could feel him smirk into my neck as his lips left wet and sloppy kisses into the skin before he pulled back, just so he could see the look of utter want and frustration on my face.
"Hm, sorry sweetheart, I can't do that. I'm too busy trying to fuck you instead."
I swear to god, he was the biggest asshole I have ever met in my entire fucking life. But he was an asshole who immediately slipped two of his sinfully long fingers into my dripping core. I instantly choked on my own breath as he began working his fingers around the muscles, stroking the digits inside me at an agonizingly slow pace.
"Because that's what you want don't you sweetheart? You want to me to fuck you into that mattress until you can't keep your eyes open?" He continued, his filthy words making me pant like I ran for fucking miles. "I do too, trust me I do. And I will, I promise. But I want to make up for all of the lost time. Don't you?"
I wasn't even paying attention to whatever filthy proclamations were coming out of Matthew's mouth, with my eyes nearly closed, my mouth slightly open and my mind only focusing on his fingers working diligently inside me, how could I?
But Matthew was expecting an answer this time. Because I could feel his darkened eyes glare into my face and his fingers immediately stilled inside me. Earning a loud whine from me.
"I asked you a question, answer me."
It took me a minute to remember his question before I quickly nodded, "yes! Yes! Is that what you wanted to hear?" I nearly screamed at his face, my hands coming to clutch his shirt, needing something to relieve some tension.
"I want to hear you say it. Say it, tell me you want me." He demanded, his eyes locking with mine as he waited for what he wanted to hear.
He wanted me to beg, he wanted me to give up that control I never allowed him to have. And was I going to?
Absolutely.
I needed to.
"I want you, Matthew, I want you to take me and fuck me into that mattress until I can't walk straight. Please."
I guess that was the answer Matthew had been looking for because his fingers immediately began to work diligently inside me again, stroking the digits until he had me whimpering and begging for release.
It wasn't long before my head started to spin and stars began to blur my vision. Words were no longer an option at that point, nothing would come out, not even Matthew's name. All I could manage to let out were pathetic, strangled moans. But he could tell I was close, or I figured that much because his fingers only worked faster around my tightening walls, determined to finish me.
"C'mon sweetheart, come for me." he encouraged through gritted teeth as his fingers were anything but still inside me and his palm applied a crushing pressure into my front. And even when my eyes were half closed and my mind had turned into dust, I could see the look of utter determination on his face, his eyebrows were furrowed as his teeth dug into his perfectly plump lips. It was like his only focus was on driving me over the edge. And he succeeded.
The second his fingers curled, I was fucking gone. My orgasm hit me like a tidal wave. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I cried out his name like a praise, my body nearly spasming against the wall. But his fingers didn't stop until my whole body shook to the point where my legs no longer supported my weight and I practically slid into the wall as I tried to catch my breath.
It was almost dizzying just how quickly Matthew withdrew his fingers from me and hoisted me up on his slim torso. He wasted absolutely no time in striding over to my bed across the room. My whole body collided with my bed so quickly and forcefully it knocked the air out of my chest.
Matthew was practically ripping away his clothes before I could even sit up or catch my breath. Like he had this urgency to do what I've been avoiding for the past two years. Like he needed to do it, right now, like something would happen before he got the chance to.
"Matthew—"
"Shut up, I've heard enough shit from you for the past two years, and I'm fucking tired of it." He almost growled, his usually soft voice coming out so low and dark it actually stroked fear in my heart. It was scary just how quickly his demeanor changed.
Matthew didn't really waste much time in discarding his clothes, he was down to only his boxers and was on top of me before I could even blink. He brought a hand to my chest and he pushed me down until my back was flat on the bed, but his hand stayed there, pinning me there as he hovered over me, trapping my significantly smaller body under his own.
He wasted no time in grabbing a hold of my dress and pulling it over my head. And I could've sworn I saw pure awe and infatuation flash through his eyes as they shamelessly eyed over my newly exposed skin. Come to think of it though, this was the first time I was this naked in front of him, and even then, I wasn't fully naked. Not yet anyway.
After a good minute, his eyes flickered back up to meet with mine, his previous look of awe quickly replaced by this feral look of want and pure desire. And I couldn't say it didn't excite me to see it.
He brought a hand to my face, running his smooth fingers over my face with a surprising amount of delicacy before he deep rooted them into my hair and slightly tilted my head back before he brought his face into mine, our lips crashing into a deep fervent kiss. I didn't realize we have never actually kissed. No wonder there was so much desperation and hunger within that kiss. We've been wanting this ever since we met, and ironically, I wanted it more.
His mouth was harsh and fervent against mine, his tongue wasting no time before it quickly slipped between my lips without much of a warning. His tongue explored every inch of my mouth and took as much control as he wanted to as he brought one of his hands to discard my brassiere, he struggled a bit at first but he managed to unhook it and discarded the flimsy material along with the rest of forgotten clothes. He pulled back to capture the image of my newly exposed skin. And he wasn't subtle, at all.
I almost felt intimidated under his deep and penetrating gaze as he shamelessly ogled my exposed body. I was completely exposed to him, completely vulnerable and right now, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted with me. And that scared me, it scared me just how quickly he took control over me after years of fighting against it.
With a hard swallow and a bob of his Adam's apple, Matthew slowly licked his lips, scraping his teeth against his slightly swollen bottom lip in a way that almost made me roll my eyes back into my head. But I didn't, instead I just locked eyes with him as he brought his face down and wrapped his lips around one of my breasts and his tongue swirled around the sensitive bud almost expertly, using one of his hands to toy with the other.
"O-oh fuck." I couldn't help but helplessly moan into the air as my hands found their way into his mop of brown curls. This reaction certainly delighted the bastard above me because I could feel his eyes burning into my face and his lips curving into a smirk around me before he slowly pulled back, latching on to my nipple as he pulled off it.
"You have a very filthy mouth, jeez." He tisked, slightly shaking his head disaprovingly but still had that fucking smirk of his.
Clearly, I wasn't amused, in the slightest, so his stupid comment earned him a nice and concise, "fuck you." 
But then again, it didn't have the effect I hoped for.
"Mhm, yeah, you're about to." He retorted one last time before bringing his face back up to mine, capturing me in a heated and messy kiss that only worked as distraction from the journey Matthew's hands took down south. I was only brought back to reality when I felt my underwear being ripped away and the cool air hitting me. And he was quick to pull down his own boxers and allowed his length to spring free. And I couldn't even play off the fact that I had to stare, my mouth slightly hanging open at the sight of him.
"You're so cute when you stare." He taunted, his words being fairly tame in contrast to his very dark and not innocent tone. The sound of his voice made me flicker my eyes to meet his face. Big mistake, because the borderline devious smirk on his face didn't help, at all. And it certainly didn't help when he positioned himself between my legs, rubbing himself on my already dripping heat.
"You do have condoms here, right?" He asked, but I wasn't paying attention, with him rubbing himself on my slick, I couldn't really pay much attention to anything. "I could just fuck you bareback, I'm clean, so I don't care. But it's up to you." He spoke again, slightly teasing my entrance with the tip of his length, hoping to actually get my attention, and I actually listened this time.
Biting my lip, I mentally cursed at my lack of sexual activity because it just so happened that I had no condoms. Matthew gave me an expectant look, not to pressure me, but just waiting impatiently. I knew if I told him to stop he would without a second thought, but he would just leave. I wasn't going to make that mistake twice.
"I'm clean too, just," I chewed on my bottom lip, already shuddering with anticipation as I hooked my legs around his slim torso, pulling him closer, "just take me, please just fucking take me already."
I didn't have to say it twice.
Without a second thought, he propped himself up on his arms and pressed his face against mine as he slammed into me in one swift motion. A strangled moan erupted from my throat as he buried himself to the hilt, stretching me open at once. And fuck, the feeling of him inside me was intoxicating, addicting even, I don't think I've ever felt like this before.
This was so fucking wrong. So wrong, so wrong to be fucking the guy my friend dated, so wrong to be fucking the guy I swore to everyone I hated. It was just wrong. So why the hell did it feel so right? It was so perfectly right the way our bodies felt together, like they simply belonged there, buried deeply within one another. I never wanted to stop feeling like this.
It was almost dizzying just how good he felt. And with the quick and fervent pace he set for himself right from the start, I knew I probably wouldn't last long. With my eyes rolled into my head, my open mouth and my body sprawled out on the bed as I tried to find something to hold on to, he probably had one hell of a view. And he enjoyed it too, because his thrusts only became harsher.
"Fuck, sweetheart, you're so fucking beautiful," he cursed through gritted teeth, his hands holding my hips down with a vice like grip, making sure I couldn't move. And it wasn't for lack of trying. My body shook and shuddered like a fucking earthquake around him but he simply held me down as he continued.
"You feel so good too. I can't believe you made me wait two fucking years for this. Fuck." He nearly shouted, slamming into me with an insane amount of force and clenched his eyes shut, almost as if the thought made him angry, "two fucking years to take what was mine."
His. He called me his.
Fuck, I wish those filthy words didn't have such a strong effect on me, but boy did they make a number on me. I couldn't even hold back the guttural cry that erupted from my chest as I nodded feverishly, not really realizing what I was nodding to. 
"Yes! Fuck yes, Matthew, I'm yours!" I almost screamed, saying whatever incoherent thoughts flashed through my mind, letting the whole floor know just how much fun I was having and with whom. And with my mind and thoughts being too clouded by the feeling of him, I didn't even think about what those words entailed.
But it didn't matter because they served their purpose regardless. I wasn't expecting just how much the words actually affected him, because his hips began to falter, his thrusts becoming longer but impossibly deeper. And I could see how concentrated he was, with sweat forming on his forehead, his teeth digging into his bottom lip and his breath was hard and short, like this was a task he was determined to finish. He was determined to ruin me.
Letting out a guttural and nearly animalistic groan, Matthew grabbed a hold of my hips and raised them so that each thrust would make him bottom out inside of me, knowing just how close we both were to our release. "Yeah, that's right, sweetheart, let the whole floor know who's making you feel this good," he growled as he gave one last final but brutal thrust, digging his fingers into my hips so tight I just knew I would have bruises tomorrow as he held me down on him, "let the whole floor know you're mine."
And just like that, my orgasm crashed into me, Matthew's harsh words of ownership sending me into a euphoric state of pleasure, my lips chanting his name like a mantra and my walls tightening around him as he came deeply into me, my own name rolling off his tongue in a quiet praise. And the utter and absolute look of ecstasy on his face made up for the bruises I would have to hide for the next few days and for the two years we've made each other's life a living hell. Because right now, seeing that look of being completely fucked, I just wanted nothing more than to just stay like this.
The second we were no longer blinded by our highs, he fell forward, nearly crushing me under his weight as he struggled to get himself up. Yeah he looked fucked alright. Despite knowing damn well he could've easily rolled off me, he didn't, he simply rested his head on my chest and closed his eyes like he was just going to sleep there. A small smile made its way to my lips at the sight of his tousled brown curls on my chest, ignoring all logic, I ran my fingers through the messy locks, and they were in fact as soft as they always looked. 
Realizing just how bad this was for me, and just how vulnerable I actually looked, I smacked his forehead, successfully earning a glare from him once he lifted his head, looking dead at me with his now soft amber eyes.
"You're crushing me, you ass, get off." I breathed out and rolled my eyes, being too exhausted to try and get him off myself. And knowing just how easily he corrupted me, I didn't need another thing to make this harder.
"Okay, okay, jeez." Matthew rolled his eyes, letting his head back into my chest exhaustively and groaned tiredly into my chest before he gathered just enough strength to roll off me and collapsed beside me, his reddened and sweaty chest still rising and falling unevenly as he was still trying to steady his breathing. And I was trying, too. And we just stared, we stared at each other, saying nothing. There was nothing to be said. It was better that way.
After a long long while of silently staring at each other, he brought a hand to my face and rested it there, his thumb mindlessly rubbing over the warm skin of my cheek and he smiled, he simply smiled. And it felt good, it felt comforting, sweet even, it was a funny contrast after what he just did to me.
"So.. About our project.."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tag list:
Matthew Gray Gubler
All- @aberrant-annie @marauder-exe @vquezada84 @boiled-onionrings @writeronkeyboard @l0ve-0f-my-life @mariaramz @soederberg
OUaT in NYU-
So I'm starting a tag list for this fic because it will be a mini series so let me know if you'd like to be added to the once upon in NYU tag list
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warriorteam1924 · 4 years ago
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Tagged on this lil game by Lily aka @painandpleasure86 thank you sweetheart !! ^^
Why did you choose your url? Even if I’m in the Queen fandom, I had to create an account years ago to be able to carry on being on tumblr and scroll through blogs so I picked the pseudo I use when I have to get one
Any side blogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them.  I had one regarding the Mazzlee ship but it was truly inactive so i deleted it. and I have another one. 
How long have you been on Tumblr? Years lol But I’ve started to post on my main in May 2019, becoming a part of the Queen fandom ^^
Do you have a queue tag? I do queue now and the tag is ‘dont shun it queue it’ as a reference to Fun it. not only it prevents me from reblogging too many things at once, but I also hope it gives the posts more visibility
Why did you start your blog in the first place? In fact i had no intend to start a blog, but I was reading a lot. and I had an idea to write something myself. And i was highly encouraged to do so by the sweetest @johndeacy and here we are now .... But it really all started with Music is my savior.
Why did you choose your icon/pfp? This is my doberman Kiki. She crossed the rainbow bridge in 2017 but she’ll be part of me forever. so i chose it to tell her once more how much i love her. 
Why did you choose your header? I made it myself cause I wanted the colors of the Borhaps movie poster and also John & Joe both holding a bass cause I’m a bass player myself. and a bit of glitters cause life is brighter with glitters. 
What’s your post with the most notes? according to a counting site it’s this one : (X) it’s a gif set I made for Queen live in Montreal during Crazy little thing called love. 
How many mutuals do you have? 19 !!
How many followers do you have? 523 (y’all i can’t believe this you’re too kind)
How many people do you follow? 29
Have you ever made a shitpost? not sure what this is, but I think i surely did....
How often do you use Tumblr each day? I try to calm down a bit, but I open the app several times a day. when on my laptop the page is constantly opened. 
Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won? I don’t know if this can be called a fight....? someone blocked me cause i told them I liked them and told them they were beautiful. And another person blocked me cause I sent them a present. I guess I won in the end, cause I think I’m someone nice and they lost my friendship.... 
How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts? I do what I want on my blog and I reblog what i feel like reblogging. no ‘need’ to reblog something. 
Do you like tag games? yeah, sure. 
Do you like ask games? never done one cause i think no one would give it a try with me and i don’t want to annoy. Or feel disappointed in the end. 
Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous? No one is famous or more important. They’re my friends and that’s all that matters.
Do you have a crush on a mutual? I still do but I’m working on it....  
Tags (no pressure of course!):  @eileen-crys @born-to-lose @peanutbuttermandms  @freddie-moments @reavenedges-lies @juleyla @lady-artemis27 @queenlover05 @sarah0687
Thanks for reading lol stay safe and take care 💖💜
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astudyinfreewill · 5 years ago
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What do you think of Blue? I actually dislike her but thats cool if you dont!
i actually quite like blue!!
but i should qualify that it’s not uncritical and unconditional: yes, i like blue as a character, while having problems with her character arc; and i like blue as a “person”, but i have issues with some of the iffy stuff she does.
i just feel like the key word for blue, ironically, is “potential”. the blue we meet in trb had a lot of promise... that isn’t necessarily followed through on in the other books.
some of the problems i have with blue’s character arc: 
first of all... what character arc?
no, seriously. we are told from the start that she wants something different, something special, something more. but... does she get it?
blue is set up to be the “protagonist” of trb, but she gets quickly sidelined in favour of characters with more active storylines (ronan and adam both have plot-heavy story arcs, but even gansey arguably gets more development than her, even if it’s just dying and being reborn)
which is... bitterly ironic for a character whose main magical power is to support others’ powers (there’s nothing wrong with supporting others, but there’s something very annoying when the only female character in the group is stuck with a magical version of ~emotional support~ for the male characters around her)
i had high hopes for her -- and i mean, buzzing-with-excitement high hopes -- when gwenllian introduced the whole “mirrors are witches” plot thread... which went absolutely nowhere (but i know that stiefvater was struggling with serious health issues while writing the raven king, so... i’m gonna give it a pass).
we find out that she is literally half-tree... and nothing else gets done with that. like, that’s why she loves trees... i guess...?
even her more “ordinary” dreams, like going to college and studying conservation/ecology, are kind of nixed by the end? she basically gets told by the narrative, “yeah but you have two rich boyfriends now, you can just travel with them”. and while i’m all for blue spending the shit out of gansey’s republican money, that’s not quite satisfying from a narrative point of view.
in short, blue has a ton of untapped potential -- she is truly the page of cups -- and in another world, we get a book where she’s free to explore her tir e e’lintes heritage, to discover her actual powers as a witch, and to follow her dreams. in this world, that’s not the book we got, and at this point i’m kind of beyond caring, because both ronan and adam have been given far more compelling story arcs that i am actually invested in.
now, as for blue as a “person”, or rather as a character, irrespective of story arc... blue is far from perfect. that’s actually not a problem for me - she’s not always a great person, which makes her a great character. blue is brave, generous, kind, accepting, resourceful, smart, curious; but blue is also hypocritical, dishonest, impulsive, and opportunistic. 
the negatives don’t erase the positives: humans are flawed, and a flawed character is realistic. but i feel like the problem with this fandom is that often it does the opposite -- it erases the negatives to only focus on blue’s positives, which essentially turns her into a manic pixie dream girl, and even more of an accessory to the boys’ development. 
see, i don’t want blue’s negative traits to magically disappear; it would be nice if she could grow and improve on some of them, but since personal growth is a gruelling, time-consuming process, i would have settled for her reaching self-awareness of her mistakes and taking accountability for them... which unfortunately the narrative never gives us (again, lots of stuff happening in the raven king, written and re-written in difficult circumstances -- i have accepted it; it’s just still kind of disappointing, is all).
some of the problems i have with blue’s character:
blue’s feminism is performative at best and damaging at worst, as i have discussed at length in this post. please note: this is not uncommon or unrealistic for a teenage girl. but i wish she had been given a chance to work on it, by bonding with one - one - female character she’s not related to. hell, even orla would be a start.
blue has a lot of internalised classism -- which, again, is realistic; adam has a lot too. the difference is he gets to acknowledge and analyse it, even though he clearly hasn’t overcome it yet. we see blue have a lot of resentment for rich people while at the same time subconsciously looking down on the “wrong kind” of poverty (adam’s) and she never reflects on that bias. we have so many discussions in adam’s pov of how he both envies and resents rich boys, yet in the end he comes to realise that even though he thought he wanted to be one of them, in reality he doesn’t want the kind of superficial, oppressive, entitled life they live.
meanwhile, the only “enlightenment” blue reaches in the final book is  that oh hey, she actually kind of likes rich people (the same begrudging awareness adam had pre-series and then outgrew) and in fact she’s fine with hanging out with them. blue, babe, i hate to break it to you, but you have been hanging out with them for 4 books and loving it... how is this a revelation?!
and last but not least, the hot topic: blue’s treatment of adam. blue refused over and over to be honest with him about the curse; actively cheated on him -- both emotionally, with gansey, and literally, with noah -- yet refused to break up with him; and when he finally confronted her, reacted not with honesty but by getting angry and trying to turn the issue around on him and how much he liked gansey (see above: hypocrisy)
now, again: this is not unrealistic or ooc. it’s bad behaviour, but it doesn’t make blue a bad character, nor overall a bad person. it’s something that could have happened and she could have moved on from... the issue, again, is that she never reflects on this. her immediate reaction is to start seeing gansey behind adam’s back, and neither of them tell adam the truth until they are basically forced to
essentially, blue runs into the same issue that gansey does: they’re good, but flawed, people, who are very bad at self-reflection, and so never quite understand why they’re hurting the people around them. i can buy that. i can love a character in spite of it. my issue is that the narrative lets them get away with it. and perhaps that’s just due to time-constraints and the fact that there is more of a focus on adam and ronan’s growth -- but it leaves gansey and blue as characters who never fulfill their potential. and while that doesn’t mean i dislike them, it means that unfortunately i just don’t care as much.
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am-imagines · 4 years ago
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I dont know if youve been asked this before, but do you have like a list of other WOSO writers that you are always happy to see posted. Im trying to expand my woso fic library
Hey! Thanks for the ask.
I feel like we’re a somewhat small community. Some of my favorite writers decided they weren’t comfortable enough to keep writing real life people imagines, some others seemingly just left, and others hit a rough patch and aren’t as active anymore. BUT there’s a new wave of talent entering the community and I’m super glad to see them around.
If you’ve asked others this before, then you’re probably gonna see some of the same writers here, but I truly believe they deserve all the praise. So, even if I’ve failed on helping you expand your woso fic library, you can still go, check them out and show them some support.
@imaginesforyourfandom I think it’s been a while since they’ve been really active, but their imagines are top notch. So, you scroll through that blog, or go to the masterlist and you’ll find something good, I promise. They are the reason I started writing, and you might even find my first imagine ever over there.
@wlw-imagines if you’re looking for quality content, that’s where you must go. Also, they’re not just dedicated to woso, so check their fandom/character list and maybe you can request something else you might enjoy!
@grapefruit-personified What can I say here? They’ve done and amazing job in every single imagine I’ve read. Highly recommend them. They have a lot of requests, a lot of ideas, a lot of talent. So, if you haven’t followed them yet, what are you waiting for? They have great things posted, and more to come, I hope.
@13uswntimagines This blog and writer, man. They have the courage to explore diverse topics that you usually don’t see in imagines. Omegaverse (A/B/O dynamics), and other stuff. They also have the talent to pull it off, so really, check them out.
@dumb-sbian Content, content, content. Not just any kind, but great content. They have so much content, so much talent. And I don’t think they have nearly enough recognition for that. So, go, check them out and you’ll find not just Woso but WWE content at it. If that’s what you’re into, you won’t be disappointed.
@unloveable-unreachable You gotta read “You’re the One My heart Wants.” Look for chapter list on their blog to find it and while you’re at it, give them a follow. They don’t get enough credit and you know, when life sucks, this writer can def make it better.
@4stars-uswnt My dude, you want woso content? You’ve found it. Go read, go enjoy and go share some of the love, will ya? In this crazy world we living in, you might wanna see something good. For that? Go to @4stars-uswnt
@writings-of-the-unkown has also some very epic content. They haven’t been as active but, writing is hard man. Things happen and sometimes you lose motivation, energy, inspiration, but they still deserve all the love in the world. So, check them out and share. The worst thing that can happen is you find a pretty damn cool woso blog.
@dreamsdohappen Check their blog, check their masterlist and enjoy some fun, quality imagines. I’ve been following them for a while and yeah, there’s a reason why they’re on this list. If you haven’t encountered any of their works, you’re missing out.
@gayforheadphonesgirl My God, “Falling Back Into You” is a must. *chef’s kiss* But it’s not the only thing you can find over there so, please go. Follow them show them support. And enjoy their imagines as well as the rest of their blog. It is more than worth it.
Now, this is like a self-shout out but @writersfortheworld We haven’t been active in...quite some time I’d say. But there was a group of really cool writers doing really cool things. So you might find a few interesting imagines for that late night craving, or any time of the day craving.
I hope you know most of these guys, anon! But I also hope you find a few others that deserve as much love and recognition. I hope you can find a ton of imagines for your favorite players, cuz their works are full of magic when it comes to woso/r. All of them are different, all of them are awesome. And I hope they don’t fucking forget that.
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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years ago
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(was originally an ask, then i rambled a crapload, so if u wanna skip through, just go to the bolded questions)
i am new to the fandom & just found your blog, just wanted to say DAMN its so detailed and everything, i cant wait to read it all! also i was so relieved to find that the fandom is still alive <3
side note im just rambling here, i binged sherlock all really quick and everything is like a blur (idk if im in a state of shock or something, but i do know i was super invested at s1 ep 2, then i finished s4 at 4am one day and i had to read me some johnlock fics to comfort myself and i really dont know how i feel about anything yet just that well, johnlock and i cried during sherlocks fake death even tho i already accidentally read spoilers, and i also cried when they just went to hang out at bars together and hhh and during sherlocks best man speech and sherlocks goodbye to john (…maybe goodbye should be plural)…also i was v mad at eurus and s4 was a hell of a rollercoaster gd), so just wondering, how many times have you watched sherlock? how was the experience each time? (can be about any season or eps or anything, also any snacks u liked to eat while watching or anything of that sort? just curious and thought that might be fun to answer)(apologies if you answered this already i tried to look for it but i got a bit overwhelmed)
btw u are amazing ^^ (also nice timer even tho it makes me sad) and MAD RESPECT for answering so many asks and like SO DETAILED-LY? (i cant grammar) and god ur metas and stuff?? absolutely fantabulous. im legit crying im so glad i found your blog. i know how much work asks take (and like i procrastinate on them for so long…mm months old esp for fic rec lists bc i know those take WORK) so like again, SO MUCH RESPECT thank you for all your hard work!! you are absolutely fantastic and awesome :D please make sure you take care of yourself too <3
ALSO you have a great profile picture + background pic (forgive me i have half a braincell (actually lets make it .7437 gave myself a tiny upgrade even tho i didnt do anything) i forgot what its called…background thing?? idk) i love them!!
if u read through all that tysm, if not thank u anyways for being so amazing, i have a habit of rambling so pls bear with me ^^
(also would it be possible to make this anon? if not feel free to delete this line ^^)
(Submitted by Anonymous)
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Hi Lovely!!
Always can make something Anon if y’all ask <3
First of all, SORRY for how long it took me to get back to you with this one. I’m a giant heap of trash and I’m surprised people still come here LOL
Secondly, WELCOME TO THE FANDOM! We love having y’all here, and I’m honoured that you enjoy my blog and content! Also will comment on your praise on my meta here: THANK YOU. I’m very proud of my meta, and especially the SHEER AMOUNT of it I have produced still boggles me mind. Y’all remember when I was creative and thoughtful??? LOL S4 dragged me hard hahah. I still try to write S4 meta, just not as much as I used to. I like speculating, I truly do, but I have so little free time these days because of the nature of my full time job, so I tend to just... do nothing LOL. I find Fic Reccing really relaxing when you have nearly 800 bookmarks. I’m worried I’m becoming stale though. Oh well. I’m just trying to leave my mark here. <3
Thirdly, HAHHAH Thank you for your compliment about my replies to my asks; I genuinely wish I could get more asks finished every day, but I tend to ramble, as you can see, and I just... don’t finish them in a timely manner. Honestly, it’s a relief when I don’t know something because I can then get the community involved to help me out AND I also get new fic recs that way too LOL. I also draft a TONNE of asks and when I do that, I tend to just keep adding MORE and MORE and MORE so I have to post them, LOL. 
And finally: My fave episode is TAB; it was the episode I studied the closest and my analysis of the trailer is my “claim to fame”. I just love it to bits. It’s the episode I’ve watched the most. S3 is my fave season, and it’s the SEASON I’ve watched the most, no less than 30 or 40 times. Season 2, then 1. I have only seen S4 like 5 times in full total, and horribly enough, TFP is the most-watched episode: I watched the Leak, the airdate, and I went and saw it in the theatres because I already bought the ticket before it aired so I just... didn’t care. And then at least 3 more times in Watchalongs. So yeah :| I still haven’t watched the BluRay I bought, but I hated having an incomplete set so I bought it when it went on sale fore 10 bucks LOL.
But yeah, S1 and 2 I watched together, and I LOVED the show. I joined fandom the summer before S3 aired, and S3 is when I REALLY got into the fandom. I’ve been pretty much here since then, about 7 years I think now. When I saw S4, it was incredulity and disappointment with it. That’s really it. I’m still a fence sitter these days about the series as a whole, but I’m leaning more and more to “no S5 for at least 3 more years” kinda thing. Just... everyone involved seems so disinterested in the show these days, minus Mofftiss to keep pushing the Sherlock™ Brand to make money.
ANYWAY. Thanks for writing to me!! This was such a joy to read when I first got it, and I just... have been really overwhelmed the past few weeks that I just have only been sticking to shorter asks. But I had some free time tonight when I’m answering this, so THANK YOU. 
I hope you’re still around, and I hope you still enjoy your time here! Don’t hesitate to ask me anything else!! <3 <3
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magireco · 4 years ago
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ive never played/watched magireco but do you think the large cast is a part of iroha just being seen as “madoka 2” ?? ive never touched the thing because from what i know its much darker than the original anime, but i do know there’s like 20 thousand megucas in the game and each of them has their own story, so there’s plenty of characters that could be seen as more interesting. theres also the fact that a lot of people dont like gacha games (and magireco, other than being one, is sexualized quite a bit so that probably makes people steer away from it as well, but that’s another topic) and magireco NA no longer exists anyways so it’s harder to actually understand the new content, plus as far as i’m aware season 2 of the magireco anime has not been confirmed to be planned? correct me if i’m wrong on that though
hi!! i have a lot to cover with this ask, so i’m going to answer your questions as neatly as i can in a fun little numbered list. read under the cut!
1. what do you mean by large cast? if you’re talking about how there’s more characters in the game/anime than in the original series, then i don’t think that really has anything to do with iroha. it might just be to garner fans’ collective interest since the original anime hit it off so hard. also, it’s just really hard to please huge collectives of people, especially really critical anime fans... *shiver.*
2. i think iroha bearing a similar resemblance to madoka was used to draw old fans back in, as well as living up to the tradition of all “main character” magical girls having pink hair. iroha and yachiyo were probably meant to resemble madoka and homura at least design-wise, and also seeing iroha, madoka, and homura together in one image is visually appealing; the colors and the familiar faces next to a new face are nice to look at.
3. magia record is not nearly as dark as the original series! in the anime, there are no main-cast deaths. this does not inherently prove that a show isn’t dark, but literally, the only onscreen death is of yachiyo’s friend from her original team, and that was in a flashback... rather than slowly losing characters as the story goes on, it starts off with iroha alone, then she meets other magical girls and they form a team, etc. i go on about this on my blog bc, once again, in my opinion, magia record has much more hopeful undertones and actually gives the girls a chance to, well... live. it’s an alternate timeline(that madokami can’t interfere with, there’s lore to that) wherein glasses homura is the homura featured(she actually gets a lot of character growth in the game), the main quintet is all together, the mikazuki villa crew really are just the found family trope combined in a little package. 
4. there are a few reasons for there being a lot of characters in the game, one of them being that they literally adapted every spinoff into the game. oriko magica, tart magica, suzune magica, kazumi magica... all those characters are there. then they added a bunch of side characters, which, i dunno? there are some side characters i really like and others i just kind of don’t really care about. but they really grow on you! .... most of them. 
5. yeah, blegh. the game certainly has its flaws(the whole series does, but that’s another ask for another day). the anime is much, much less fanservicey though! i have my gripes about the designs and i certainly have my gripes about the way the characters are drawn sometimes (looking at you, swimsuit mami artist), but with me being an experienced gacha player (unfortunately) that was just something i decided to put up with in exchange for a fun story. i can see why people might get the misconception that the anime is just as sexualized, though. i don’t like the main characters’ designs that much, honestly... they all show too much skin, so i agree. weird.
6. season 2 was confirmed! 
7. NA was discontinued right after the first arc of the series. disappointing (oh, i could go on), but we got to see a lot of iroha’s character development in the story.
8. what i was really trying to get across with that post was really just to gripe about in-fandom stuff. there are plenty of other characters that could be seen as more interesting than iroha, especially considering the mikazuki villa girls are all so varied, but that’s kind of how it is with every series, honestly. there’s always going to be one character that seems less interesting compared to other ones. i just kind of realized that iroha gets the short end of the stick compared to the other girls. not only because of her resemblance to madoka, but because of her perceived blandness and the lack of people who care to analyze why she might act that way. her pink motif and gentle, kind demeanor translates as “madoka copy” in people’s heads, and, y’know, it translated like that in mine the first time i saw her, too. but, when you actually think about her arc aside from her resemblance to madoka in several different ways, you get a really interesting and special character; just as special as the others! there was a similar issue with madoka, honestly, with people brushing her off because she wasn’t as “emotionally deep” as the rest of the quintet, even though that’s not true at all. i think it’s unfair that people will brush off a character just because they’re nice; that they’ll reduce characters like iroha and madoka to their cuteness and kindness only and not analyze the rest of the details that they have intentionally(or sometimes unintentionally, y’know how anime writing can be) been written with! 
...but then again, i’m biased in my own way, admittedly. i relate to iroha (i really just made that post because i was thinking about how i’ve never seen someone touch on how her memory gaps affect her), and i just wasn’t seeing any coverage on it, so i thought, someone has to do this! i also just... don’t see people who coin themselves as “iroha fans” very often? she’s one of the characters who is there, but usually not deemed interesting enough for someone to be a superfan of. i’m probably hypocritical, considering homura akemi is my favorite character and she’s pretty popular in the fandom, but what i said is more of an observation than an accusation anyway. i had similar feelings with madoka, but i haven’t gone on a proper ramble about that yet. 
...these characters also aren’t real people, so i’d say i probably shouldn’t go on such long rambles about them, but i really do feel like they reflect a lot of real life experiences sometimes. like, me connecting to iroha’s struggles is something that connects her character to an actual experience. however, like i said in my original post, i am very much an overanalyzer, and i tend to take concepts and just run with them, especially when something stands out to me. this is also just a magical girl show, so i’m really not taking anything that personally. 
also, to clear anything up, the original post wasn’t meant to come across as me being angry, per se, at people who think iroha is boring, it just kind of ticks me off that she’s brushed off so quickly in the larger fandom because of her demeanor. this doesn’t really apply to people who aren’t into the series at all yet, because i’d literally also think “okay so we have madoka, and madoka with a hood” if i were in your shoes! also, people are allowed to dislike characters for no reason. i’m just silly and go on long defensive rants over the sad magical girls, and would probably be sad if people didn’t like iroha because of the reasons i mentioned. 
all in all, i do reccomend magia record very much if you can get past the sexualization of the gacha cards and the, um... poorly designed outfits. because the NA server has been shut down, there are channels on youtube that graciously upload videos of the in-game stories as well as side stories! in the game, there are sometimes entire side stories for characters’ outfits. because it’s a gacha game, there are events and such, and the event stories i’ve seen and/or read (most of the ones i’ve read have to do with homura though) are a lot of fun. i reccommend checking out muffinrecord’s channel if you’d like to read any of the stories (hopefully you’re the type of person who can sit and watch live2d models move around with boxes of text on the bottom for 25 minutes like me). they have everything sorted into playlists in that section of their youtube. of course, i also reccomend watching the anime, if you’re interested! the animation is polished and nice, even if the story is a little hard to follow at times. but if not, that’s okay too. 
thank you for the ask, and i hope i could clear some things up for you!
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thefanficmonster · 4 years ago
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Caught Red-handed
Corpse Husband x Reader (Gender Neutral)
Warnings: Swearing, Struggling with migraines 
Genre: Fluff, Comfort, RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: Having suffered from migraines all their life, Y/N knows better than to give them much attention or let them hinder their work too much. However, their boyfriend is a lot more worried than they are and has taken it as his personal duty to ease their pain as much as he possibly can. 
Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your request, I’m so sorry it has taken me so long to get to it, write and post it, but here it finally is and I hope you come across it and read it! I’ve never experienced migraines nor have I known someone who has so if I’ve misrepresented or written any misinformation, anyone who catches it, feel free to let me know either in the comments or in my inbox/messages! Love, Vy ❤
The first time I got a headache was in the middle of math class in eighth grade. I remember it so distinctly because I had never before experienced such sudden and such intense pain. I got to go home early that day and spent a good portion of the day trying to sleep it off but to no avail.
Since then I’ve grown used to having to deal with a pain so strong it renders me unable to function for a whole day about two times a month. Sometimes, I even try to be stubborn with it - I try to push through as much work as I can despite the migraine, but that never works out for a long time considering it ends up crippling me in the end. That’s never kept me from trying over and over again though!
Now, to contrast my nonchalance and even annoyance with these pesky attacks, is my boyfriend Corpse’s concern over them. I’ve tried explaining to him that I’ve grown used to them and that I try not to let them bother me and that he shouldn’t stress over them so much but I may as well be talking to a wall because all he has to do is see me squint my eyes or cringe and he enters concerned-mother mode. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate it to no end, I just don’t want him worrying over something so small. Also, a minor convenience: if the migraine doesn’t hinder me from tending to my tasks, Corpse will. He’ll make sure I’m off the task I’m working and transported into bed in an instant.
That’s why I’m now clenching my jaw, struggling to maintain a poker face as I work on an important project I have to send to my boss by the start of next week. I’ve got plenty of time, but I like to stay on top of my work so it doesn’t pile on top of me, you know what I’m saying. Corpse is sitting on the couch next to me, casually glancing at me every now and then while remaining quiet as to not disturb me. So far so good, he hasn’t noticed anything and, if I didn’t know any better I would sigh in relief. There’s nothing to trigger the pain to arise any further - the lights are dim, I’m staying hydrated, and I downed two painkillers in the bathroom about an hour and a half ago - so I’m sure I’ll be in the clear at least until dinner.
“Wanna watch a movie when you’re done?“ Corpse asks, “Unless you’re tired or anything...“
I flash him a grateful smile, giving his knee a squeeze of reassurance, “I’d love to, babe. But I can’t promise that I won’t fall asleep.”
He chuckles, “Yeah, I know you’ve got a tendency of doing that.” Giving me a side-glance he adds, “It’s cute.”
I roll my eyes, already sensing a blush creeping up on my cheeks and neck which I hide by turning to face my laptop screen. One thing I can’t hide though is the wide grin that’s spread across my face as I mutter: “Shut up.”
Just then, a particularly sharp jolt of pain courses through my head, testing that ability to maintain a resting face. Thankfully, Corpse is turned in the opposite direction, searching for his phone, so I allow myself a brief cringe at the discomfort. 
Guess the painkillers are dying down on me, I think to myself, a second away from sighing exasperatedly at the thought that I have to down two more. It was wishful of me to think I could enjoy the luxury of a dull ache until dinner, now the migraine is straight up mocking me.
I quietly stand up from the couch and make my way to the bathroom so I can take another dose of aspirin because I don’t think I’ll be able to focus on my work for very long if it keeps hitting me with this intensity. Opening the door to the small cabinet above the sink, I automatically reach out for the bottle of pills but stop when I see a surprise.
Directly in front of the bottle stands a note written in, you guessed it, Corpse’s handwriting.
‘Already losing effect, huh? When are you thinking of coming clean?‘
Well shoot, am I that transparent?
I sheepishly exit the bathroom, walking back into the living room where Corpse greets me with the same stance as a parent greeting their kid who’s gotten home past curfew: legs crossed, arms folded over his chest, one eyebrow raised, the whole nine yards.
“Yeah, they’re already losing effect.“ I admit, a small apologetic smile tugging at the corners of my mouth, my cheeks burning with an embarrassed blush. “And I wasn’t gonna tell you at all.” I hurry to add: “Please don’t be mad though.“
Corpse shifts slightly, his gaze giving me a onceover as he contemplates how to pursue the case. I’ve already got several arguments/defenses ready - the perks of working for a lawyer - but I know he’ll dismiss all of them no matter how strong they might come off as in court. Bottom line: even statements that would fly in court can’t fly with Corpse sometimes. Especially when my health and well-being are the topic of observation.
“What have we said about lying?“ He finally asks, causing me to cringe and ball my fists in guilt.
However, I still have my arguments ready: “You never asked me so I never technically lied.” One might say I have quite the audacity to plead not guilty right now, even though I’ve been caught red-handed, but what can I say, I’m stubborn in nature. And Corpse knows this, he’s just testing me for his own amusement.
“Poor excuse, Y/N.“ He says with disapproval, shaking his head and fully embracing his disappointed parent persona. “You’re lucky I’m feeling generous today. So, as punishment for hiding the truth from me, you are to ditch that project you’ve been bugging yourself over and come cuddle and watch a movie with me. Bonus points for you if you fall asleep.“
I needn’t be told twice - not only will it wipe that look off his features but it’ll also get earn me a movie night with the additional benefit of cuddling with my boyfriend? - how could I refuse?
I can’t help it, I just gotta push my luck here and poke the bear with a stick, “If the punishments are so sweet I might start being dishonest more often.“
Corpse rolls his eyes, scooting on the couch and tapping the space he’s freed up for me, “I said I was feeling generous, don’t bet on it happening often though.”
Alright, enough luck-pushing, I should be grateful for this generosity instead. I should be using it to the max.
So, what’s stopping you from doing just that?
Good question, brain, good question.
Head still pounding just not as intensely, I slip under the thin soft comforter to find myself not only wrapped in it but also in Corpse’s arm, his warm embrace bringing me instant comfort, walking me on the tight-rope of falling asleep right away.
“Sneaky bastard.“ I attempt to mutter, yawning halfway through. 
I feel his lips on the top of my head, placing a quick and gentle kiss in my hair before he says, “You’re welcome, babe.”
Count your lucky stars, Y/N. You’ve got one of the good ones.
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fanfic-chan · 3 years ago
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I posted 823 times in 2021
129 posts created (16%)
694 posts reblogged (84%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 5.4 posts.
I added 273 tags in 2021
#fanfic chan talks - 90 posts
#ask games - 44 posts
#sfw - 23 posts
#bnha+tickling - 23 posts
#sfw tickles - 23 posts
#fanfic chan's favorites - 18 posts
#bnha - 16 posts
#tickletober2021 - 13 posts
#haikyuu tickle - 13 posts
#asks - 10 posts
Longest Tag: 111 characters
#just know you have my respect. i've been drawing consistently for three years now and i understand the struggle
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Hi! I dont know if you already have an idea or something for day 2 but I would love to see something with Shoto waiting to get tickles (since he enjoys them I think) but he doesn't know when he's going to actually get them and the anticipation is killing him hehe, as for the lers it could be anyone you want!
Tickletober Day 2: Anticipation
Eyyy this prompt was so flustering to write hvdhngdgdb!! I really did enjoy it though and I hope you like it! Also, Tickletober Prompts are still open if anyone is interested! You can see which numbers are already taken on the post! This is open to all my current Fandoms but I am in need of some Haikyuu ones so those would be especially appreciated! Thank you!^^
Ler: Bakugou
Lee: Todoroki
"Shut up you overglorified hotpocket!!! Stop laughing or I'll kill you!!"
"I- I'm sohohohorry, it's just- Youhou just- pffftahahaha!!!" He really did try, but by that point, Shouto was giggling so much that he just couldn't seem to stop.
It had all started when he and Bakugou were sitting in the common room together, quietly watching some cooking competition that was on. Bakugou had ended up getting mad at one of the participants for some reason, leaping up and exclaiming that whatever they'd done was 'a crime against food!' at the exact same time that Gordon Ramsay said the same thing on the TV, and as if that wasn't funny enough by itself, the remote that Bakugou had flung into the air in his outrage ended up smacking him right in the head when it fell back down, making him yelp in surprise. For whatever reason, Todoroki had found this entire display completely hilarious and had burst into the most joyous and uncharacteristic giggles that anyone had ever heard from him, and Bakugou's reaction to this only seemed to make it even worse.
First, something like shock and awe had crossed his face, having never really heard the usually stoic boy like that laugh before unless he was being tickled, then it morphed into confusion when he couldn't figure out why he was laughing, then finally anger when realization finally seemed to settle in and it became obvious that he was laughing at him.
"Fine! You want something to laugh about? You got it!"
"No wait! Bahahakugou wait! I'm sohohohorry!"
Todoroki yelped when he was suddenly tackled onto the couch and immediately dissolved into cackles when his friend started ruthlessly digging into his sides. 
"AIEEEHE- NO! Bakuhuhugou! Wahahahait!  PLEAHEHEASE! I'M SOHOHOHORRY!!!"
"NOPE! IT'S WAY TO LATE FOR THAT NOW!! DIE!!!"
Todoroki screeched helplessly and tried to squirm away, but that only caused Bakugou to straddle him, making any previous hopes of escape quickly fade away from his mind, and since he didn't suspect that he'd be getting out of this for quite a while, he simply went limp, squeezed his eyes shut, and latched onto his classmates wrists for dear life, preparing himself to endure Bakugou's merciless wrath. 
But then something strange happened. All at once, not even a minute after it had started, it stopped, and he peeked an eye open in confusion (and disappointment) to see Bakugou staring down at his hands with a devious smile. 
"Hmm, actually, I think I have an even better idea of how to get my revenge on you for laughing at me."
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59 notes • Posted 2021-10-03 07:23:24 GMT
#4
A Mother's Love
So, I had the idea for this earlier today and thought, "You know what? There is a criminal lack of Mama Midoriya in the tickle community. I'm gonna fix that." And here we are. Overall, I'm pretty happy with how this turned out! It's super fluffy and really heartwarming, I hope you guys enjoy it too!
ALL OF MY FICS ARE COMPLETELY SFW
ALL OF MY FICS ARE PLATONIC UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE!
Warnings: This is a SFW tickle fic. Don't like, don't read.
Ler: Inko
Lee: Young Izuku
"Now, I wonder where my little Izuku could be? Hmmm… Could he be.. under the table?!" Inko quickly peeked under the piece of furniture, despite knowing that her little boy wasn't under there.
Her six year old son, Izuku, had requested that they play hide and seek indoors since it was raining outside and he couldn't go outside to play. It was rare that Izuku ever wanted to play anything besides heroes, so even though she loved playing any game with him, it was a nice change of pace.
They were currently on their last turn before Inko would need to go make dinner, and she was the seeker. She knew her son was hiding behind the curtains in the living room, but was making a show out of looking for him anyway just to add to the fun. It hadn't been hard to figure out where he was really, because he giggled everytime she looked in the wrong spot.
She looked in a few more places before finally deciding to make her move, creeping up silently on her unsuspecting little green bean.
Izuku tilted his head in confusion. His mom had been pretty talkative while looking for him before, but now she was completely silent. He peeked his head out cautiously, and when he didn't see her, he stepped out. "Momma?.." Had she gone in another room? Oh no! Was she worried that he'd disappeared because he'd hidden to well?!
He almost started tearing up at the thought, but his panic was short lived when he was scooped up from behind, and he squealed. 
"There you are! I told you mommy was gonna find you!" His mother cheered as she cradled him in her arms, tickling his tummy gently. 
The reaction was instantaneous, and the little boy giggled hysterically. "AIIIEEEHEHEHEHE!! MOMMAHAHA!!"
"Momma? I'm not momma! I'm the tickle monster! And I'm gonna getcha Izuku!" She ended up releasing him after saying this, and he took off with his mothe- no, the tickle monster at his heels.
He ran all around the house, screaming with giggles and eyes sparkling with joy as she chased him, and he wasn't even upset when she finally caught him when he climbed over the couch. He just giggled hysterically as she scribbled her fingers at his sides and gently squeezed at his sweet spot, his hips.
"OH NOHOHOHO! MOMMAHAHA! PLEAHEASE!! IHIT TIHIHICKLES!!"
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73 notes • Posted 2021-08-04 22:45:15 GMT
#3
Tickletober Day 3: Kisses
Oh. My God. This may actually be one of the best things I have ever written. It's just so cute and adorable what?! ❤️😭 I really really love how this one turned out, and in the end I'm glad I took the extra time on this one even if it's a little late. I hope you guys like it! 💕 Tickletober prompts are still open!
Ler: Koda (Sort of?)
Lee: Deku
It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon, and Koji Koda, Class 1A's resident shy giant as some liked to call him, had decided to spend his weekend walking through one of the many trails that UA had on campus. He was humming contentedly to himself, listening in on the gossip of the birds and the gentle whistling of the wind in the trees above him, when suddenly he heard it. Faintly at first, but slowly becoming more clear as he drew nearer. 
Someone was crying.
At first, the animal whisperer hero considered just turning around and walking in the opposite direction entirely, because if someone had come all the way out here to cry, then it was pretty obvious to him that they probably  wanted to be alone right now and wouldn't want to be interrupted… But then again, what if they were hurt? He couldn't just leave if there was a chance that someone was injured and needed help. He was a hero after all!
With that thought in mind, he very quietly started heading in the direction that he thought it was coming from. Maybe if he was careful enough, he'd be able to check in on the person without disturbing them if they were just having a moment, then leave as soon as he'd confirmed that they were ok. That plan was instantly shattered, however, when he laid eyes on who it was.
About twenty feet ahead of him, curled up at the base of a tree with his face buried in his knees, was a familiar head of green curls that he immediately recognized as his classmate, Izuku Midoriya.
He had never really been all that close to Midoriya, not like Iida and Uraraka were. That wasn't to say they didn't get along. They did. They just didn't really have that same level of friendship with eachother as they did with other people. Even so, Koda still couldn't help feeling torn. On one hand, he didn't really feel right just leaving his own classmate alone like this now that he'd actually seen him, but on the other, he also didn't feel like it was his place to try talking to the other teen, both due to their lack of closeness and because Koda wasn't exactly the best at dealing with these types of situations in general. 
Midoriya hadn't seemed to have noticed him yet since he was half hidden by a large bush, and while he stood there contemplating whether or not he should reveal himself, Koda felt something furry suddenly brush against his palm, and he startled slightly, looking down to see that a fox had approached him and pushed it's snout into his hand. He had to stifle a giggle when his new friend licked his hand affectionately. Even before his quirk had fully developed, animals had always seemed drawn to him. Situations like this weren't exactly rare for him at this point, and for that, he was grateful. His animal friends had gotten him through more hard days than he could count at this point.
Hmm, hold on. That gave him an idea actually…
Feeling inspired, Koda snuck away again, the fox at his heels, to put his new plan to cheer up his classmate into action.
Deku, for his part, really was trying his hardest to pull himself together.
He wasn't sure why, but from the very moment he'd first walked into the common room that morning to be greeted by the usual playful banter and chaos of his classmates, his mind had seemed to have decided that everything, and everyone, was to much.
It didn't make sense really. He hadn't had this same sense of overwhelming anxiety even once since coming to UA, and it seemed as if it had come completely out of nowhere unlike the many other times a panic attack had been triggered by a particularly hard day back in middleschool.
He hated this. He didn't really want to be alone right now, but at the same time he also didn't want to be around anyone. He didn't want to be asked if he was alright. He didn't want to be asked if there was anything they could do to help. He just wanted.. he wanted..
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79 notes • Posted 2021-10-06 03:09:09 GMT
#2
Overworked
So uh, this is actually the first t-word fic I've ever written, and I'm pretty nervous about posting it since I'm so new to it, but I want to give it a try anyways since it will give me more practice with things like this, and I find this kind of content really adorable and fluffy overall. Feel free to send any constructive criticism my way. I really want to improve on my writing!
ALL OF MY FICS ARE COMPLETELY SFW!
ALL OF MY FICS ARE PLATONIC UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE!
Warnings: This is a SFW tickle fic. Don't like, don't read!
Thanks for reading!^^
Lers: Bakusquad
Lee: Deku
"He's been in there muttering to himself for hours. Iida and I have tried everything to get him to take a break, but he won't listen. He's to stressed out about the math test coming up next week to relax." Uraraka sighed at the kitchen counter, where she was currently ranting to Mina about Deku. The poor guy had been on edge for the last two days about said math test, and no amount of study help or prompting from either of his two friends had been able to get him to chill out even a little.
Iida, who had been leaning against the counter, nodded in agreement. "I admire his dedication to his schoolwork, but I'm afraid the level of stress he's worked himself into is quite unhealthy." The class rep stated, adjusting his glasses.
"So the nerd is overworking himself again, eh?" Bakugou suddenly growled from the doorway, Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero at his heels.
"I'm afraid so. He's quite worked up. I'm not even sure he slept properly last night." Iida answered, brow furrowed in concern for his green haired friend.
"Ugh! At this rate the idiot will start falling behind in training, which means I won't be able to beat him at 100%." The explosive blonde grumbled in annoyance, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes in thought, though it mostly just looked like he was angry. After a moment, an evil grin slowly spread across his face. "Oi, Roundface, Four Eyes, watch and learn. The rest of you extras follow my lead. We'll teach that nerd what'll happen to him when he decides to overwork himself."
He cracked his knuckles dramatically as he started to stalk into the common room. Iida and Uraraka would have went after him if not for Kirishima. 
"Don't worry. I won't let him hurt him." He promised before taking off after his grenade of a best friend, the rest of the Bakusquad following soon after, both concerned and curious.
Not a moment later the two of them heard a startled yelp and then… Laughter?! What the heck?!
"GYAH! KAHAHACCHAAAN! STAHAHAHAAAP!! WHAHAT ARE YOU DOHOING?!?!"
Izuku wasn't quite sure how he'd gotten into this mess. One second he'd been sitting on the couch in the common room, fretting over some math he'd been having trouble with, and the next, he'd been tackled and pinned to the floor by Bakugou, who was now straddling him and digging his thumbs into his hips.
It took only a few seconds for him to realize what he was doing. When they were younger, his childhood friend used to take great pleasure in dominating him in tickle fights, which didn't take much considering how weak he'd been back then, combined with just how sensitive he was. Even so, this was pretty shocking considering that these 'tickle wars' as Bakugou used to call them, had stopped when they'd entered middle school.
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118 notes • Posted 2021-07-22 20:11:08 GMT
#1
Hi! A prompt, if you don't mind. Since there's not many content with Todoroki siblings, maybe some family bonding with lee Shoto and lers Natsuo and Fuyumi. Like, Shoto finally feels comfortable and close to them enough for cuddles and affection, and they realise their baby brother is touch-starved (and unexpectedly ticklish)
I- I cannot even put into words how much I enjoyed this prompt! I absolutely loved every minute of writing this and I'm so glad you decided to send it to me! Poor Shouto is so touch starved and I love every opportunity I get to give him some much needed love! I really hope you guys like it!^^
Better Late than Never
Lers: Fuyumi and Natsuo Todoroki
Lee: Shouto Todoroki
"Hey. Can you guys tickle me?"
Fuyumi couldn't even blame Natsuo when he promptly started choking on the soda he'd been drinking in surprise. Of all the things that she would have expected her socially inept younger brother to say, it certainly wasn't that.
The three of them had been hanging out in the living room together, watching some animated movies that Shouto had borrowed from one of his classmates, Izuku Midoriya. That green haired kid that he'd fought during the UA Sports Festival. 
Apparently, their youngest sibling had been doing some 'research' as he put it, on sibling bonding techniques, and had been interviewing a few of his classmates to figure out what they liked to do with their siblings. Tonight he'd suggested the three of them have a family movie night while their father was away on a business trip and he had some time off from school, an idea he'd gotten from his classmate, Hanta Sero.
Ecstatic that their little brother finally seemed ready to open up to them, they immediately agreed, and the three of them were currently cuddled up together in the impromptu blanket fort that Shouto had insisted was a must when it came to a proper family movie night because, 'Sero said so.'
And so it was.
Admittedly, things had been going pretty well up until now, when their stoic peppermint of a little brother had turned to them, family bonding list in hand, and had asked, in the most blank tone possible, if they could tickle him of all things.
"Shouto, um, if you don't mind me asking, what brought on that question?" Fuyumi asked after a moment, patting Natsuo's back firmly while he still struggled to catch his breath after almost drowning himself in Fanta. Shouto didn't even bat an eye at his older brother's near death experience, and instead kept his expression carefully emotionless. However, he was fiddling with the hem of his shirt slightly, as if he might be nervous.
"Oh. Well, Kirishima said he likes to bond with his younger siblings by tickling them. I'm the youngest, so I just thought maybe that's how it was supposed to go and that maybe we could do that too." He explained calmly, though there was a tad bit of barely noticeable apprehension there as well. "Is that… Wrong?" He asked hesitantly, tilting his head and taking on a rare expression of clear confusion as he started flipping through his notes again. Fuyumi couldn't decide whether the sight was adorable or flat out hilarious. Heck. Maybe it was a little of both.
"Oh! No! No of course it's not wrong! Just.. a little unexpected? I guess it's just surprising! Not bad though. It's good actually! Really good!" She answered hurriedly, not wanting to ruin this rare moment of trust Shouto was showing. He'd never really gotten the chance to bond with them properly when they were little, and his social skills definitely left something to be desired, so for him to be purposefully seeking out the opportunity to do normal siblings things with them? Especially things like physical displays of affection? Well, that was a pretty big deal.
He looked up at her and blinked, relaxing after a moment and setting his notes aside, seemingly satisfied with her hasty explanation.
"Oh." He said after a pause. "So.. You'll.. You'll do it then?" He asked quietly, and if she didn't know any better, it looked like he might even be blushing. Fuyumi couldn't help allowing herself a fond smile. When had her little brother gotten so adorable dang it?! There was definitely no way she could say no to that! 
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141 notes • Posted 2021-09-26 05:57:09 GMT
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bellamyblake · 4 years ago
Note
Hi Iva! First of all I would like to say - thank you for loving Bellamy so much, it means so much to me to read your posts and feel the same love I have for him. The way I wholheartedly with your every word... about his tragic life, his immense love, everything. On the other hand, you must hurt a lot judging by myself - I honestly cannot stop crying multiple times a day. I do not know how to make the pain stop. I dont know how much more I can handle, its not getting better but actually worse p1
P2 when I think about in details about his life like you did – his life had no happy beginning, or middle, and certainly not the end. Maybe only as a baby boy before O was born. I don’t know how to deal with the fact the character that I genuinely believe had it the worst ended up with the worst possible ending as a reward for honestly trying to do better. Like if he at least experienced love and understanding from O or SOMETHING… but she never got to tell him sorry for beating him up,
P3 that now she understands what he did for her… I am gonna go crazy over this, honestly. I wanna stop crying and enjoy fanfiction with much better ending for him. Where should I find solace? Was his death at least quick, maybe he did not have time to think about what happened? Is there an afterlife where Aurora waited for him? Was that what I can hope for when Aurora was NEVER explained, she was not an alien so what was she? But he also sow Cadogan in the same scene and he was alive then?
P4 Should I watch 5x13 on loop to get in my head this was the ending? Should I teach myself to edit and do some manip for the ending? My only way of coping is seeing other people, blogs like yours that love him just as much. But I keep crying and feeling utterly miserable ☹I am 27 I never spend so much time loving any character (fun fact, It must be around 3 500 hours for me reading ff, watching the show and fan edits and tumblr posts). I know Bellamy will always and forever be the one beloved
P5 one beloved character of mine and no one will ever come close. Bellarke, the same – they were my OTP. The only one. I need to do something about this cause I am loosing my damn mind… I could handle almost anything, I would cry, yes, but I was absolutely sure of one thing - no matter their ending, sad or happy, in some sense they would do it together… and we got THAT. Does anything help you? I am so sorry for dumping this on you but reading your posts - its like hearing my soul.
Hello!
First of all thank you for the kind words and for enjoying my blog so much. 
I really do love Bellamy Blake a whole damn LOT. Like a damn LOT hah. I think that’s pretty obvious by the posts I make even if they’re not as many lately because I’m mentally not doing well right now. But that same love you feel, I feel it too and I’m glad I’m not alone in this.
I also get angry too and I cry a lot still about the way things ended. I also have not spent that much time in my life invested in a fictional character before so this is a lot for me as well and I get how you feel.
You asked me if something helps and for me it helps a lot to write you know? Be it meta or fanfiction, I indulge myself a lot in writing. 
It’s funny that even when I write fics I don’t write happy fics, you’d think that I’d make him absolutely happy in what I write but I don’t. But indulging yourself in a world of your creation with this character helps a lot. And it’s fun too, to do this, to build a world for him, a different one-be it with Clarke or with a family of his own or Idk just with anyone. Giving him love that he never had and joy he never felt. I think that helps me a lot and it helps me forget how he died and how much it hurts (I wanna say that even typing this makes me cry hah, so...).
I also like to rewatch some episodes that were more about him as a character and then meta in my head. That usually gets me sad too but it’s also exciting to think about some of the stuff that happened and dive in the psychologity of his character (which I do a lot) LOL. But that’s mostly painful. I don’t get many asks about him and meta stuff so I mostly do it in my head on my own and dive into the world of direction and how things were done and love making sense of them. 
Headcanons are something I love doing too though I haven’t written (or posted) much lately. In fact I haven’t posted anything lately because Idk...I’m not sure that sharing everything you create is good these days. people got so judgemental over time, the way actors and cast are threated is horrible but it extends to the entire fandom and its participants so it’s ugly and dark and horrible and I think stops a lot of people from posting gifs or fics or anything at all. But that’s another subject.
So yes writing helps me a lot. Reading fics helps me a lot. I’m not sure what the recipe is here because honestly I am in the same boat as you. I love this character more than anything and any other that I’ve loved and been in a fandom before so...this is hard for me too. And it’s fucked up. 
I also love making gifs for him though I don’t make anything good or special. Gifs I think can be lots of fun but also pain too-fun cause when you go to gif a moment you can rewatch half the episode (at least I do) and sad cause it can bring you some pain but at the end giffing is really Idk..rewarding. Except when people don’t reblog shit so that’s discouraging too hah.
I’m sorry I don’t mean to be a debbie downer.
To tell you the truth after years of being on here and in fandoms I realized this-I can create to soothe my soul from the pain, like from losing Bellamy but I don’t have to seek validation from people and post it. I can do it just to heal myself and not share it. When you share it what? You just get disappointed. That’s why I have 230 drafts. Half of them are unpublished headcanons. some of them are published fics with few readers or readers who yelled at me for writing sad stuff. the other half is stories i’ll never post. So I guess my advice is-
find something to get your hands on, to create, be it editing, giffing, writing, something to let the grief out, to soothe the wound inside you. and then you can decide if you want to share it or not. and even if you don’t it was inspired by the best character ever. 
He was loved, he deserved more, he did. But you can create worlds where he has more.
He can be held by his mom as a baby, he can be tucked in, he can be climbing up her leg and reaching for her arms, he can be cranky when he had his first tooth, or sad when he had to go to day care, he can be scared before his first exam and anxious as he grew up. He can be having nightmares and not sleeping when O was born, he can be terrified and feeling alone. He can have friends and be hugged and loved and have a first kiss, he can live in a house by the ocean with clarke with two beautiful kids and a dog and a cat for her cause she loves cats. Or he can be alone curled up in his bed just crying his grief away.
He can be anything that you wished for him, anywhere you wished for. 
Hope I helped some! 
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