#first time I wrote smut after 6 months!! it was a big deal!!

[daydadahlias]

i have to mention! 'for him' wasnt mentioned (i think) and we need to discuss her too! shes a beaut and i love rereading ashton pining for michael and thirsting over cal!!!

coming in at top 5 fics I completely forgot I wrote

[hannya-writes]

When they save you from a brothel (Zoro Edition)

Title: The perfect Girl

Fandom: One Piece

Pairing: Zoro x Reader

Other characters: The Owner

Category: romance, adventure

Warnings: there's a Kiss! Zoro is a bit Ooc because I couldn't found a way to make this happen 😅, as before there is kidnapping and violence in this chapter, there's no smut in here, walk away, horny people!! (No wait come back!!)

Author's note: just like with Luffy, this happens 6 years in the future, so Zoro would be 27 years old, why did I wrote this in the future? Bc I thought only that way Zoro would change enough to take the decisions he does (?) Nah, I just like characters to be older! Anyways, to the story we go!

• • •

You didn't started working there because you wanted.

When you were 15 your Mother/Father were sick and you wanted to help them.

You started cleaning the floors, washing dishes, serving the woman who needed help with make up or hairstyles.

The owner of the place tried to make you work for them as a prostitute, but you didn't wanted to.

So they started to pay less, at first just some berries. But those berries lost made you unable to pay for your parent medicine.

After a month without the medicine your parent started to feel worst and worst.

And like a balm, the brothel owner offered you a loan, just the right amount for the medicine.

And you thought the owner was a good person, that you would be able to pay back. :readmore:

But one day some one robbed you and the owner give you more money.

In another occasion someone stole your clothes as it was drying in the sun, the owner gave you money to buy yourself some clothes.

You couldn't pay the owner back and somehow the loan got bigger and bigger until it became an impossible amount.

Then the owner offered a deal: You could pay working for them as a prostitute or he could turn you to the police for stealing.

That time there was no room for you to say no.

Since then they gave you a room, nice clothes and even a maiden to help you with everything you needed.

Close to no clothes, very tight clothes or the worst: Lingerie and a silk robe.

And you do what you are forced to do.

There are clients that are gentle but there are those who get violent, who creep you out, who enjoy when you say no.

It's a nightmare so you try to escape. At first you sneak out but get caught.

Then you jump from the window of your room, but the guards save you from a sure death.

When they realize that you are trying to kill yourself they start to drug you.

And that's the worst because then you can't leave, you need the drug if you don't have your dosage you start to feel ill. You feel like dying but without dying.

And then you just… give up.

Zoro

Unlike Luffy, Zoro actually had the pleasure house as his objective.

However, it wasn't to exchange his money for sex. He was only interested in the Sake. The pleasure house you were trapped in was famous because of theirs.

The thing was, the place was full of people. Men with women at each of their sides. Women with skimpy clothes and big smiles.

The bar was packed too, but he was lucky as a men decided to stand up and leave with a woman.

He took the open spot and he would have ordered sake but the bartender was too busy.

"Oh god, here comes the golden bitch" a woman commented by his side and Zoro tried to not pay attention to her

"Ugh she's the favorite but she's so arrogant, who does she think she is? Boa Hancock?" The other woman complained and suddenly he got interested, he had met the ex-shichibukai but in his opinion she wasn't as beautiful as everyone said.

He followed the gaze of the two annoyed women and saw "the golden bitch" (aka you) walking towards the bar.

Zoro had seen his fair share of women, princesses, queens, warriors, samurais, minks, giants, mermaids, etc. but in all that time he had never seen a woman quite like you.

You were elegant dressed with a black dress that accentuated your figure, with a turtleneck and window in the shape of a heart. At first sight you seemed arrogant and intimidating, but after further inspection Zoro noticed how empty your expression was.

However it was easy to overlook your expression with all that gold jewelry in your wrists, neck, ears and hair. You were so eye-catching, he even felt there was a halo around you.

'Golden bitch' he almost laughed because of the accuracy of the nickname. He turned back to look if the stupid bartender was free but to no avail "the fuck do I have to do to get some Sake?" He thought to himself.

"Excuse me" you said, taking the seat by the side of Zoro before bending over the bar, almost giving everyone around an excellent view of your ass hadn't been for the dress.

When you sat back there were three bottles of sake in your hands and a sakazuki cup on your cleavage.

"I believe this is what you want to drink," you said calmly, putting two of the bottles and the cup in front of Zoro, suddenly turning into the most beautiful woman he had ever met. "I apologize for the wait the bartender is having a hard day"

"Sure" he said as you got down from the seat with your bottle of sake "thank you" he added as you turned to look at the two women who had spoken before.

"If you two have time to bad mouth me, serve the clients and stop being a couple of common bitches" you said and Zoro actually enjoyed seeing you metaphorically bite them.

After that he poured his sake on the cup and tasted the very first sip of the famous drink.

You on the other hand walked back to the side of the room, to the owner of the pleasure house, just on time to hear someone inform him that a very important pirate was there.

The owner asked who it was and the person informing showed him a wanted poster of the man you just had helped.

Which explained everything, after all you had heard his thoughts over those of everyone else.

Some time ago you had eaten a devil fruit in hopes of getting a power to escape from the pleasure house, but all you got was a power to hear people's thoughts, desires or intentions. The more powerful they got, the louder and clearer were the voices.

Moments ago all you had been able to hear was "sake, sake, sake" and the person giving you a headache with his desire for sake had been Roronoa Zoro.

"Come on, darling" the owner told you as they took you by your hand and dragged you back to the bar. "You got a special assignment" he added as he pushed a little bottle of poison on your cleavage.

'I'll get so much money if I kill him' the owner thought to himself and you felt dread filling your body.

You didn't want to do this, not again. If Roronoa Zoro discovered you were trying to poison him he would certainly kill you.

"Don't make that face, it makes you look ugly" the owner ordered you before caressing your cheek. They disgust you, with a sigh of defeat you composed your face."That's it, much better"

The owner walked to the swordsman and introduced you, adding that you will be serving him his drinks in a room since he was one of the most wanted pirates of the world and he didn't want some marine to appear and try to stop him from having fun.

Zoro accepted without a doubt, after all a place away from all those people sounded good.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Roronoa-san" you said when you got in the room.

Zoro only hummed. not wanting to give the impression that he was interested in you since you were a prostitute. He knew that give you attention would only make you try to get physical with him.

"Do you always do this?" He decided to ask as you poured the drink for him.

"Only for very special clients" you admitted without lying since this wasn't the first time you were forced to do poison someone.

"What kind of clients?" You could literally feel his distrust, it was like a needle piercing your chest.

"Ummm…" you thought for a moment, feeling that if you lied he'll know, and you weren't wrong, Zoro was studying your face. "famous clients" you smiled but he noticed the happiness didn't reach your eyes.

"How did you know I wanted sake?" He continued and you felt a cold sensation wash down your back.

"It was a hunch, I also like sake, I know how a sake lover looks like" you lied and mixed it with a truth, you liked sake, you could recognize someone who liked it.

"Get another cup then, you'll drink with me" he decided and you looked at him surprised. He hadn't took that decision as a safety measure to avoid getting poisoned, but out of a whim. That made you giggle, he seemed invincible.

"Roronoa-san is very generous" you commented and that time when you smiled a spark of life appeared in your eyes. Zoro liked that spark of vitality, he wanted to see more.

You left for a moment and when you got back you had brought the cup and more sake.

That time Zoro poured the drinks and you took a sip that made you sigh.

"Roronoa-san, you must have many stories, would you share them with me?" You spoke to him with respect and fake admiration but so naturally he almost believed it.

"I'm not good at telling stories" he answered and he immediately regretted it since you simply accepted and drank another sip of your drink with a slightly disappointed expression.

"I met my captain the day I was going to be executed…" he started his story and was instantly rewarded with an expression of surprise and happiness on your part.

'How cute' you heard him think at some point of the story when he described his friend Chopper and you got excited.

Usually men thought you looked hot, sexy, fuckable and those kinds of things. No one saw you as someone cute, it made you blush and Zoro enjoyed the unrestrained emotion his thought had provoked.

"It's your turn" he said when he ended his story and you looked at him with a confused expression.

"My turn?" You asked frowning.

"Your turn to tell me your story, it's how it works" he explained and for a moment you got trapped in a flashback, a succession of escapes ending bad, hits, lightened cigarettes being pressed on your back only for someone of the staff to "erase" your scars with the power of a devil fruit.

"I'm afraid that will kill the good mood" you commented but since he had told you a story, you decided to humor him. "This story is not mine…" you said as you started your narration.

You were creating the story as you told it but everything made sense, it was about a Swordsman, since Zoro was one.

Zoro enjoyed the story, as you were telling it, he noticed how relaxed you were, how your vacant expression came alive every now and then.

"You are good at telling stories" he praised you making you blush again.

"Thank you" you answered with a smile that made Zoro's ears turn red, how were you doing that? How were you managing to get all of his attention?

"Could you tell me another story, Roronoa-san"

"Sure, why not?" He said and noticed how you leaned forward on the table expectantly.

"Wait, Roronoa-san, I'll go for more sake" you interrupted him moments later as he told you about Enies Lobby, he nodded and you left in a hurry wanting to hear more.

"What is taking so long?" The Owner asked you when he saw you in the kitchen.

"He asked me to drink, I can't poison him" You explained and the man slapped you across the face.

"Stop being useless and find a way" he said angry and left you there.

When you got back to Zoro it was with a tray in your hands that had three bottles of Sake and a plate of snacks you ordered to poison.

"What happened?" He asked the moment you crossed the threshold.

"I'm sorry I took so long…" you started to apologize but Zoro wasn't listening, his gaze was on your cheek. In the small amount of time he had seen you, you had shown to be a level headed, smart and elegant woman who didn't bother anyone… So, who had slapped you and why?

Fuck, why was he so fucking angry about it? Has Sanji's character rubbed off on him?

"What happened?" He asked curious, pointing at your cheek and you touched it softly

"I made a mistake" you said without thinking, touching the burning skin where you had been hit. "It's ok, I deserved it"

'no, you don't' his thought warmed your heart, it made you wonder how could such a rough looking man be so sweet.

"I thought you were the favorite" He said frowning and you laughed without happiness.

"I'm just a caprice of the owner" you said, offering him a cup full of sake that he gladly took. "I'm their precious canary, but that doesn't mean he won't hit me" it took you a moment to realize what you had said, you had spoken your mind without thinking, showing him the real you.

"What an idiot" he said, still bothered every time he saw your red cheek.

Feeling his annoyance directed at the owner made you comfortable but wary, no one was that good.

"Why? Would you treat me better if I were yours?" You teased taking a seat on the table, by his side. "You know what's my work?"

'of course' Zoro answered in his mind but only looked at you with a serious expression. You leaned towards him and kissed the corner of his mouth.

"I'm a whore I kiss men, I make their fantasies reality, I let them use my bo…" it was his hard gaze that made you shut up.

Why were you saying that? Why were you discouraging the infatuation the swordsman had on you? Why did it bother you that he had made you drop your act of the perfect girl?

'how annoying…' His thoughts made you smile, a weird sensation prickled on your brain and it took you a long moment to comprehend what your devil fruit power was catching on him.

Yeah, coexisting near the love cook had finally rubbed off on him because he wanted to hold you, kiss you… get you to a safe place.

'protect' was what you were catching from the swordsman. He wanted to protect you and you were building walls to reject feeling like a damsel in distress.

"Roronoa-san…" you whispered before pushing away the sake for you to sit right in front of him with parted legs in an inviting way. Your hand took his and you guided it to your thighs. Maybe if he fucked you he'll forget about his attraction to you "It's fine if you want me" you guided his free hand to your chest but he suddenly reacted by getting away from you.

He couldn't do it, he was not made of stone, he felt things, he had urges but he didn't want to do that with you. No when you were doing it because it was your job. It would be like taking advantage of you.

"Roronoa…" you followed him with your eyes only, knowing he didn't want you to touch him, knowing what he was feeling because you were in synchrony with him.

"Shut up" he told you and you obeyed "Stop trying to get in my pants" his choice of words made you blush and laugh, laugh for real.

With a huff you hopped down from the table and he watched as you went to the very lavish bed in the room. The very same bed Zoro had been actively ignoring from the beginning.

"You aramazing...Your feelings are overpowering me" you finally said as you lay in the bed hugging a pillow.

"What?" Zoro asked, taken aback by your words.

"You have a crush on me but you respect me, you think I shouldn't be here, that I should leave" you said so softly that Zoro got closer to hear you.

"I don't…" Zoro was blushing big time.

"I ate a devil's fruit, I can read minds, so don't bother denying it" you cut his sentence.

A slight blush stayed in his cheeks.

"Fine, whatever" he almost went back to the table but noticed that you had in your hand the last bottle of sake "hey, what are you…?" He saw you drink from the bottle, his eyes followed the path of the sake that spilled from the corner of the bottle's mouth forming two very appealing rivers that traveled from your mouth to your chin and then down your throat.

He hated his sudden urge to lick the sake from your skin.

"There's been others like you," you said when you drank, taking him back to reality. You cleaned the corners of your mouth and continued. "You think you are heroes, but you just want to chain me, hide me where no one else but you, can see me" Zoro got closer and tried to take the Sake from you but you pulled your hand away to avoid his hand. "I mean, it's kinda an implanted fantasy, look at these" you showed your wrists with bracelets that covered almost half of your forearm. "This scream shackles, this says save me! Be my Prince charming" you mocked

"Pathetic" He suddenly said and you looked at him bewildered since you were able to feel his very clear desire for you but his words and attitude were the opposite. "You have embraced your cage" he leaned over you, you felt his intentions of taking the sake from you.

He was right, you were able to read minds but you felt like he was the one reading yours.

You were afraid, you didn't want to get your hopes up only to crash and discover he was a liar.

'Say the word' his mind was saying and your movement to get away from him staggered at that.

Word, what word? What was that supposed to mean? You tried to retreat but in a blink you were caged between two strong arms, the bed and the body of Zoro.

You took the last sip of the sake but before you drank it Zoro lifted you from the bed and put you over him, straddling his lap. The gravity did its job and the sake went from your mouth to his as you graced his tongue with yours slowly, so very slowly and sensually.

'Ask for Help' he thought and you pressed closer to him, wanting more if only for him to stop asking that of you.

"I'm not a damsel in distress...They sent me to kill you, Roronoa-san" you confessed not expecting anything from him. He clicked his tongue in annoyance.

"And how would you do that?" he asked amused, taking you by surprise. You tried to get away from him, but his hands kept you close to him.

"With poison" you answered with seriousness and he smirked.

"Poison" he repeated in a mocking way dismissing you "I'm no prince charming, you know? I'm a pirate" one of his hands gently pushed a strand of your hair away from your face.

You didn't have time to even be confused by his words because the idea in his head slipped inside yours: kidnap' Your eyes grew bigger and the smile in his face let you know that he was aware that you knew. You opened your mouth to tell him not to do it, but with an easy move he put you over his shoulder and started his escape.

The next minutes were filled with people trying to stop him and you giving him directions to get out of the brothel.

But Zoro is terrible with directions, so of course he turned in the wrong direction and of course he entered the wrong hall and somehow he ended up destroying the whole place.

When you finally got out, you looked in disbelief at the building in flames. How had that happened? You were not sure, but sake was flammable so…

"Roronoa-sama, you are amazing" you said as he walked away from the crime scene "wrong direction" you let him know and he stopped, turned in the other direction and started walking again.

"Your welcome" he said and you groaned in his shoulder.

"It would be easier to get you to your ship if you put me down," you said, resigned to your future.

"I'm fine, I don't need…curly brows?" When he said those last words you frowned.

"Marimo?" A man's voice answered, leaving you in the dark "that is no way to carry a lady!" He complained and Zoro growled.

'I forgot about the love cook' you heard Zoro think and you were puzzled wondering what could that mean.

The swordsman put you down and you looked at the blond man before you with an expression that made Sanji's eyes become hearts and you were able to hear his thoughts, all of his thoughts.

And Sanji's dirty and sweet thoughts at full speed scare the shit out of you, making you hide behind Zoro and fist your hands into his clothes.

"Oi! You scare her!" Zoro complained annoyed. There was a small discussion and finally Sanji guided you two to the ship where Zoro had a short conversation with the captain, who got closer to talk to you minutes later

"Y/n, do you want to be a pirate?" Asked Luffy in front of everyone and you looked at him seriously.

"No, I just want to stay by Roronoa's side"

Luffy laughed, satisfied with your answer.

"Then, welcome to the crew!"

• • •

Next... ?????? Edition

Who's edition should I write now?

[oohnotvery]

Twenty Questions for Fanfic Writers

Tagged by the wonderfully kind and incredibly prolific author @baronessblixen. Thank you!

I am the_eternal_optimist on AO3. I know that confuses people!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

23, my favorite number

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

351,187. Wordy girl.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The X-Files exclusively.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Throwing Good After Bad (my baby, my love)

In These Silent Days

Loving Me Takes Patience (this is a surprise to me)

Next To You

Right on Time (really?!? I love all my stories ofc, but this might be my least favorite haha)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to. I really love engaging with the people who write kind things on my stories.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oof. All of my stories are incredibly angsty, but all of them have sugar-sweet endings. Maybe Distraction, only because it might be my only fic that doesn't end with sex??

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them have happy endings. Perhaps Throwing Good After Bad has the happiest ending, just because it's is the angstiest, most violent, most difficult of my stories.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Oh yes. A lot, actually. When I was writing On Marriage about revival MSR, I received death threats for characterizing Mulder as depressed. Someone went to my personal social media accounts and started making fun of my child (a BABY) over this. It's why I got off of Twitter. I very nearly quit the fandom over it and some very kind people rallied to keep me going.

Other than that big one, I get the occasional rude comment. Honestly, they bother me a lot. I go back and forth about continuing to write fanfic because of it. We all write for free and for the love of the characters--why is someone being critical?? (That's where I'm currently at now, and why Edges of the Night is on hiatus. I just cannot with the negativity in my ask box all the time because people are mad the story isn't progressing the way they want it to).

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do. I don't love writing smut and I find it the hardest part of writing. But I LOVE reading it and I love what it adds to a story.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

God I hope not.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I'm not sure. I don't think so.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I'd love to work with someone else :)

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Mulder and Scully

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Right now, maybe Edges of the Night? I will probably finish it because I have it fully outlined, but I dread having to deal with my ask box/messages if I keep writing it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm a pretty empathetic person. It's easy for me to get in peoples' heads and figure out their feelings. Writing and resolving angst is probably my biggest strength.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Phew. I find humor really, really hard. I'm not a funny person and I have a hard time making my characters funny. Mulder requires the occasional dose of humor, and that's always super tricky for me. Also smut.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Maybe!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

X-Files. Cold is the Night was my first fic ever, and I was 3 months postpartum then. It was such a nice experience getting out of the baby mindset for a while to write that.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

My loves, my babies. Probably Throwing Good After Bad, Cold is the Night (because it was my first), and Yours and Mine (This Is Our Time). The latter is a fave because it has two of my original characters in it, Gemma and Emry. I've written an original novel about them. They are my true babies.

I don't know who to tag!! @thursdayinspace if you want!!

[changethecircumstances]

Ao3 Ask Game

Thanks @koskela-knights I don't always do these just because I don't ever check if I've been @ ed but I saw this in the tags and figured it would be fun to do

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 194

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 4,744,015 I like to write very long stories typically lol

3. What fandoms do you write for? I write for really whatever I'm hyperfixating on at the moment. Currently that's Alan Wake, but I've written for the Alien series, Marvel and DC (mainly movies but often incorporating comic books characters of plots into them too), Resident Evil, Kingsman, Hannibal, Cobra Kai, Detroit Becomes Human, the list goes on lol. There's a lot

4. Top five fics by kudos Kid. - Eddie/Venom meet MCU Peter for a sort of uncle&nephew kind of relationship like a flower in bloom, how the ink flows over your skin - Ed/Stede modern AU from OFMD Just Another Day - a sequel to Kid. to wake from a life not worth living, is to be born into something new. - Eddie/Richie AU after IT Chapter 2 movie where Eddie survies It Was Never About Jealousy - Detroit Become Human AU where Gavin and Elijah are half siblings and are dealing with a lot of unresolved trauma post good ending of the game

5. Do you respond to comments? Usually. Sometimes I forget and sometimes I worry about spamming people with 'Thank yous' when I can't think of anything else to say, especially on repeat commentors, but in general yes

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Honestly, my angstiest would be one of my first fics on Fanfiction.net (i have 75 works over there with a few of the later ones having been ported over to Ao3, but definitely not all of them). Are You Coming For Me? was a Lestrade/Mycroft story where Lestrade got kidnapped. It ended with Lestrade being rescued but he was blind and had been tortured and it basically just ended there lol because I didn't know what I was doing at the time. I've written much darker stories since then, but they typically have some form of happy ending after all the darkness, even if it's a twisted happy ending. In that regard, Break Me Slowly, a Gavin/RK900 fic inspired by Hannibal might be my darkest. It has a happy ending. Just one of the characters is basically stockholm syndromed into it lol

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably Mistletoe, a modern Pacific Rim AU about Yancey/Chuck around the holidays. It's mostly just fluff and I enjoyed writing it so much I actually rewrote it. It's mostly the same story with slightly different versions and I'd say better writing in the second version

8. Do you get hate on fics? Very rarely. I got some hate for my OFMD fics, but most of the hate I've gotten in the Uncharted fandom which is sad because it's one of my favorites, and one of my favorite games of all times. I will say I got so much hate on one story in Uncharted that I stopped working on school work for about a month and literally just focused on writing that fic. The irritation of hate mail spurred me to write that one as long and as quickly as possible lol

9. Do you write smut? Occasionally. It depends on what the story calls for. Though even in fics that I've intended as just smutty one-offs, I usually can't help but add more plot. And there's been things intended as smutty that end up having almost no smut because I get so invested in the plot

10. Craziest crossover? I don't write many crossover stories anymore. I was a big Superwholock person so I wrote for that (though all those stories are on FF not Ao3). Otherwise, my crossovers are typically within the same group, like my Alan Wake fics involving elements of Control or all the crossover fics where Saw characters interact with characters from Jigsaw and Spiral to try and bridge the gap between those films. Nothing too crazy though

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? On Amazon, yeah. One of my Alien fics was being sold for like .25 cents or something on Kindle

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yep! Several to Russian and I think one to Chinese

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Technically yes, but they don't have Ao3 accounts so it's always just been put under my username

14. All time favourite ship? Hannibal/Will is one of my all-times. I haven't written for Hannibal in a long time, but that fandom will always be special to me and I love rewatching the series and movies. William/Zeke from Spiral are another big one. I really like the fucked up ships lol with lots of moral quandaries

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? He Fell Hard; I Fell Harder - Jason/Salim from the House of Ashes video game. I've tried going back to it several times but it's largely a fluffy fic with only a few moments of real conflict and I just don't do well with fluff. It's very hard for me to write something fluffy if something horrific or heart breaking isn't going to immediately follow lol

16. What are your writing strengths? I'd say creating large, compelling AUs and worlds. Some of them I've even toyed with making into original stories because just how AU they are compared to the original source material

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Endings. I struggle with endings and a lot of times by the time I get to the ending of a longer fic, I've lost a lot of motivation to write. Again, it's the conflict that I really love to write so once things start to get resolved and end, I struggle

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language? I've done it a few times for characters that I think require it and it would make sense for them to speak their native language over English. It's definitely difficult though and I try to limit it so it's less likely I'll fuck up a translation. Sometimes to avoid that or if I can't figure out a decent translation, I'll state a character is speaking in their own language rather than writing direct dialogue, if that makes sense

19. First fandom you wrote in? BBC Sherlock Holmes all the way back in 2011 (that fic is on FF) The writing is so bad in it haha

20. Favorite fic you've written? There's a few. My Death Stranding fic, You're the Hero, I'm really proud of just because it's the longest, most expansive fic I've ever written at over 180,000 words. Dancing to the Pain, a Walking Dead crossover with the TV show and the Telltale games, is another favorite because it was unfinished for so long but I did finally get around to writing the last few chapters in it. Even if it took like a year.

My most recent one I'm proud of would be Constant Acceleration Wrapped in Poetry, Darling/Zane modern AU fic from Alan Wake that dealt with a lot of serious issues like grief and survivor's guilt and addiction that I just think I handled really well and in a hopefully satisfying way for the reader

I tag @alphawave-writes, @hoffmanstits-enjoyer, @ratty9boy& just anyone who might want to do this if they haven't already

[nanatsuyu]

Top 5 vs Personal 5

List your top 5 fics ranked by kudos on AO3. are you surprised by what's most popular to your readers? then provide your ranking of your personal top 5 fics, and tag a few fellow writers!

oh boi these make me nervous but thank you @mostlymaudlin ;; (tagging: @skvaaader @jaywalkers @annawrites @marianjos @kevneildependant @takitalks)

i'll follow format cus this looks pretty and personal favs first feels nicer to share. (i havent posted a lot of fic so there's a bit of overlap)

that's just something people say (T), 119k, andreil || slowburn road trip au where neil steals andrew's car and andrew makes a deal to take neil west before they part ways again (haha...unless? 👀) this is my baby that i worked on for several months and posted every chapter in one day lmao it was my first chapter fic and my first major au. im still very proud of it <3

better safe than damned (E), 18k, andreil || a smuttier au of an au with demon!neil and witch!andrew and tentacles lol it sounds depraved, and the tags make it sound really depraved but half that word count is aftercare and exploring ones comfort zones and sexuality? so its personal and one of my best written smutfics imo

what a chatty creature (T), 14.7k, kandreil || 5 times neil goes nonverbal and the one time he finds his voice. i wrote this for my friend gull and had them give me 6 of their favourite words and included those in each part. i liked exploring communication with kandreil when in a slightly different font

messy (E), 10.3k, kandrew || au where kevin and trans!andrew are fwb (but more because feelings are fun) its another soft smut where andrew thinks too much, and hes a bit further in his healing, but reservations are still that. i like playing with their dynamic a whole lot. i was incredibly nervous to post this but im glad i did <3

taptaptap (T), 7.2k, kandreil || canon divergence kandreil where theyre a year or so removed from college and in love, but kevin and andrew never resolved The Incident after baltimore. this was my first big softie fic of them. i love kevin with my whole heart and i think he should be happy always so this one is close to me

taptaptap (T), 7.2k, kandreil || this one doesn't surprise me when it comes to popularity. its super soft and canon divergent and my first non exchange/gift fic!

that's just something people say (T), 119k, andreil || its a 100k+ slowburn andreil fic. it was bound to do numbers but its also very validating because i worked so hard ;;

like you swallowed a bone (T), 7.6k, gen twinyards and nicky || mixtape post canon fic exploring what happened with the twins and nicky's relationship years down the road. i think this got popular because of age and i still really like it, but im not sure what sparked this one for people lol

what a chatty creature (T), 14.7k, kandreil || this def got popular because fuzzy and kandreil and its relatively low stakes in drama (not that i write particularly dramatic things but yknow)

morning coffee (E), 9.8k, kandreil || post canon divergence smut with the boys before neil has an interview. kandreil smut speaks for itself in popularity lol i am still incredibly fond of this one and its gotten a lot of comments recently which has been nice. wrote it because i wanted to see more fic that felt like kandreil and not just andreil + kevin

im terrible at boosting my own stuff because i never feel like i explain myself well enough to sell my ideas or fics which is definitely reflected in my summaries that i have often been told "do not do the fic any justice" lol that and im horrified of people saying theyre silly but at least a few people think theyre pretty neat! :^)

[spockandthings]

20 questions for fic writers!

Tysm to the lovely @honeyteacakes for tagging me <3

This is a lenghty one, so here's the sauce after the cut!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I just hit 50 works!!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

121K!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The core of my works are from The Sandman, but I have written a little for Star Trek and Baldur's Gate 3!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Beautiful stranger here you are in my arms ; Aconitum ; Beautiful Stranger Catching My Stare ; Sworn to Meet ; Pavlovian Reflexes

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Sometimes! It really depends on the kind of comment I get, but I do read all of them and cherish them!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think it'd be "Know my heart still has a suitcase, but I still can't take it through", which deals with unrequited love! (Unrequited Dreamling, Established Hoblethros)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I wanna say Aconitum, cause this was my first multi-chaptered project that I finished, and I loved where the plot ended up going (ft. a wedding epilogue, need I say more)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Haven't gotten any as of yet!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Sometimes I do! I've mostly done non-penetrative sex scenes, which seems to be my jam

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Haven't yet, even though I do have a Sandman x GO piece in my drafts....

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No! I do have a fic that's been made into a podfic, though

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

The two ships at the "foundation" of me are Hannigram and Spirk, which I feel explain a lot of things haha

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I really wish I could finish Pavlovian Reflexes, this was my very first venture into multi-chaptered fic territory and I'm so sad that I haven't touched it in months!

16. What are your writing strengths?

The brain worms, they're stronk

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

English is my second language, so I feel like somtimes my grammar is wonky af, but shit happens

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'd stick to languages I know and/or ask for help to translate bits.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

[redacted], we don't talk about my wattpad phase, thank you

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

That's such a hard choice, hmmmmm. I really loved writing "Source to Seer, I reach for destiny" for the Dreamling Bingo, which isn't my most popular work, but I was very proud of since it's a lil chonker (for me, since I don't write a lot of long fics). Also big love to "Sweet Mourning Lamb", one of my Corinthienne works, and, more recenty, "I went away cause I missed you" which is a Durge x Gortash (BG3) work.

Here's to that, folx!

Tagging @mentallyinvernation @sleepsonfutons @bazzybelle @beauty-of-nyx @arialerendeair without any pressure <3

[h0tch-r0cket]

I Can’t Lie (18+)

Summary: After breaking up with Hotch, he does everything in his power to get you back.

Word count: 4.4K

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, fluff!, smut, fingering, oral (female receiving), unprotected sex, explicit language

a/n: inspired by a song that i have loved my entire life, I Can’t Lie by Maroon 5/// prompt idea from @mrsh0tchner cm discord writing challenge

(i wrote this at like 4am so expect errors lol)

Masterlist

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

New York City in the winter was something that always calmed you, even in all the hustle and bustle. You always appreciated the way the streets got covered in powdery snow and even the people who were skating at Rockefeller Center, as touristy as that was.

New York had become your home a few months back, having moved from Quantico, Virginia. You left for a better job opportunity. You left behind your friends, family and coworkers.

You left Aaron Hotchner behind.

Aaron was your partner at BAU. In the time that you two spent together, you realized just how strong and courageous he was, especially in the field when he would put himself in harm's way with no questions asked if it meant that he was protecting you or someone else on the team.

But as you spent time with him, you learned that deep down, he was a big ol’ softie; someone who enjoyed lazy days in the pool, spending nights curled up with you next to the fireplace in his apartment, and someone who when he loved someone, he loved them with his entire heart.

He was just like you in that last sense. You loved Aaron. He loved you. Hell, you still loved him. The love that you two shared was genuine, something that you only would have believed to exist in books or movies.

And you were happy that you were his for two years before things changed.

You didn’t want to end things. You always wanted to be by his side. But the love you two held near and dear was the kind that was the right person, wrong time.

Aaron had been promoted to the BAU Unit Chief after the current chief had retired. You were thrilled for Aaron. Ecstatic even. He deserved it more than anyone on the team. He busted his ass off from the day you first met and you couldn’t imagine him not getting that position.

Only a month after Aaron was promoted, you had been too. But your position was in the New York field office. You debated for a while as to whether or not you should take it. And Aaron, being the loving boyfriend and partner, encouraged you to go. He didn’t want to hold you back from something that at the end of the day was much better than your position in the BAU.

You both were determined to make things work. Sometimes, you would travel back to Virginia to see him or other times he would come out to you. And it worked for a few months.

It wasn’t the same as being wrapped in his arms each and every night. Every time you left him at the airport, you felt like your heart was breaking even more than it had the last time. He was the person that you wanted in your life at all times.

As much as you didn’t want to admit it to yourself, your conscience was telling you that it was over.

When you told Aaron that you wanted to end things, you could still see the way his face completely broke in front of you. You still heard the way his voice was wavering, even after 6 months apart.

You told yourself that it was for the better. You convinced yourself that you would be able to cope and deal with the broken heart that you inevitably inflicted upon yourself.

It was a lot harder than anticipated.

Aaron had sent you text after text, called you a multitude of times, and even sent flowers to your apartment all the way in New York (your favorite flowers of course) as his attempt to try to get you back. To see how things could work.

A huge part of you was ready to drop everything and run back to Quantico, to run back to him. But the other part of you was telling you how you needed to stay in New York. You needed to do it for yourself because at the end of the day, the job at the NYC field office was a hell of a lot better than the one you had at the BAU.

So there you were, 6 months later, walking the streets of downtown New York along the hustle and bustle of the rush hour traffic as the snow started to flurry from the sky. It was light a very light snow, the kind that pillows underneath you feet, crunching along as it compacts together from your steps.

You held your jacket close to you, wrapping your arms around your body for warmth as you trudged back to your apartment after picking up some groceries from around the corner. You kept your head down as you walked, not wanting to feel the chilling winds that were certain to nip at your nose and makes your cheeks feel raw.

You were getting closer to your apartment when you heard a slight tear from the paper shopping bag. “Fuck, not now,” you grumbled, as you tried to move fast to stop your groceries from falling.

As it turns out, the bag had a mind of its own as the bottom gave out, the assortment of goods falling into the snow beneath you.

You waved your arms up in defeat, staring up at the sky. “What did I do to deserve that, huh?” you asked, no one in particular, but whatever godly figure had decided to royally fuck up your day.

You pulled your hat down over your ears and bent over to start gathering your groceries in your arms. You heard the crunching of the snow around you, the passersby watching you struggle to balance your runaway groceries in your arms.

As you were squatted down towards the ground, head down trying to gather everything quickly, a hand reached out in front of you and picked up the apple that tumbled onto the sidewalk.

“Need a hand, hot shot?” the familiar voice said.

There was only one person who ever called you hot shot and you would know their voice out of anyone's in the entire world.

You shot your head up and you almost dropped your groceries again from shock.

Squatting down in front of you was Aaron Hotchner himself, all bundled up with a scarf and earmuffs, the snow landing gently on the top of his head.

“Aaron,” you said softly, still in disbelief.

His lips turned up into a small smile, his eyes taking in every part of you.

It had been so long since he saw you and that you saw him that he wasn’t quite sure what to do or say. He had talked to himself all on the flight from Virginia as to what to say the moment he saw you.

That all was shot to shit when he saw how stunning you looked after all this time, your features being highlighted by the wintery setting of New York.

You two stared at each other for what felt like hours before you got your senses together and stood up off the ground.

“What are you-“ you shook your head in disbelief. “What are you doing here, Aaron?”

Standing up next to you, he put the apple in his pocket before grabbing some of the groceries from your overloaded arms.

“Let’s go talk at your apartment.” He gestured his head for you to follow him as he walked along the sidewalk.

You walked a bit fast to keep up with his long stride along the busy street.

“You’re really not going to say anything as to why you showed up here? In New York City?” You were practically begging for an explanation, your heart feeling like it was about to explode out of your chest at any second and show him just how much you still cared for him.

“You look good, Y/N,” he digressed, looking down at you quickly before he kept walking with you to your apartment. “Not that you didn’t look good the last time I saw you. It’s just…You look different. A good different,” he clarified.

Even though it had been 6 months since the last time you spoke, his words still made your stomach flutter in a million different directions.

“Aaron,” you said softly.

“Hm?”

You couldn’t help but stare at how he was practically glowing from the way the snow was flurrying around. It was as though the snow was working to accent every part of his face; his dimples, his nose that was turning a shade of red from the cold, and his eyes. His eyes looked even warmer than normal, their honey complexion practically showering his face with a warmth that differed drastically from the frigid temperatures from the NYC weather.

“I just…I guess I’m in shock that you’re here,” you told him as you keyed in your code to your apartment building.

“You know me, Y/N. Always full of surprises,” he said from behind you as you ascended the stairs to your apartment.

Digging out the keys from your pocket, you unlocked your door, a rush of heat enveloping your cold body.

You kicked off your snow boots by the door, not wanting to track the water around the house. Aaron followed suit, clearly remembering how neat and tidy you liked your place to be even when you were back at Quantico.

“Where do you want these?” he asked, holding up the groceries in his arms.

“On the counter is fine.” You watched him as he walked to place the groceries in the designated area, a part of you wondering if you were dreaming that he was there.

If it was a dream, you sure as hell didn’t want to wake up.

“How have you been?” he asked in a matter of fact tone as he doubled back to the door to hang up his coat. He took the scarf off from around his neck, wrapping it up on the hook with his jacket. He held his hands up to his mouth and blew on them gently, warming them up from the heat of his breath. “Freezing up here now, huh?” He took off his earmuffs and shoved them in his jacket pocket before running a hand through his hair that was dampened from the snow flurries.

“Yeah, I mean it is December in New York. The skyscrapers don’t really help the cold,” you laughed, taking off your jacket. You hung it up on the back of one of the chairs at your kitchen table, wrapping your arms around your chest to warm up.

Aaron walked over towards you and you heard a small hitch in his breathing. He reached his hand out to you, running it gently down your arm.

His face softened, his eyes searching for yours. “Are you wearing my flannel?” he asked, his voice so soft, you weren’t sure if he was even talking to you.

Your eyes widened, not realizing that you were in fact wearing his flannel from one of the last times he was in New York. His thumb rubbed gently across your arm, taking a step closer to you.

“Yes,” you said meekly.

“You kept it all this time?”

You took a slow exhale, and nodded, feeling a shiver run throughout your body.

“It reminded me of you. And us. And all the good times we had together.” You blinked away a stray tear, not allowing yourself to cry in front of him. It’s not that you didn’t want to. It was the fact that you weren’t sure if you started if you would actually stop.

He brought his hand to your chin, tilting it up gently so that you would look at him. “You asked me before why I was here.”

You nodded your head, feeling a stray tear slip between the cracks. Aaron rubbed it away with his thumb, tilting his head to look at you better.

“It’s not the same without you. I’m not the same without you,” he admitted, placing his free hand on your hip. “Jack misses you. I miss you so much, it’s fucking killing me. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep at night without you in my arms. I shouldn’t have let you go that easily.”

You sent him a small smile, a miniscule one at most because it was all you could muster in the moment.

“I know you said it was the right thing to do. That it was the best way that we could focus on ourselves and our new jobs. But I can’t do it without you. Y/N, I love you so much.” He smiled widely before leaning forward to press a kiss to your forehead. “I’ll shout it from the rooftops if I have to.”

“Aaron,” you said, your voice shaking slightly. “I’ve missed you, too.” You brought the sleeve of his flannel to your eyes and wiped them, trying to rid yourself of the tears that were flowing steadily at that point in time.

“I’m not asking you to leave your job for me. I never ever would expect you to do that. All I’m asking for is the opportunity to be your boyfriend again. I’m so hopelessly in love with you.” He chuckled quietly, the dimples on his face becoming more prominent as he looked at you. He brought his other hand to your cheek and cradled your face as he read your face for something, anything to suggest that you didn’t want him.

“Y/N, I can’t lie. You’re always on my mind. You’re so stuck inside my head that there’s never a point in my day where I’m not thinking about you.”

He brought his head close to you, brushing the tip of his nose against yours. “Tell me to stop,” he whispered. “Tell me you don’t want this and I’ll stop. I’ll go back to Virginia and let you go.”

You closed your eyes for a brief second before you accepted the fact that you couldn’t be without him. You closed the gap between the two of you, kissing him softly as you wrapped your arms around his neck. You felt him smile against your lips as he held your face as he kissed you.

“I want you, Aaron. God, I want you so bad, Not just today, but everyday after,” you sighed into his mouth.

That was all he needed to hear before he changed the pace of the kiss to something more desperate, more urgent. He dropped his hands from your face and wrapped them around the back of your knees to hoist you up around his waist.

You clung onto him tightly, not once breaking the kiss. You ran your hands through his hair tugging on it lightly to hear the small moans that came from him that was like a symphony to your ears.

He walked into your bedroom with ease as if the walk there was permanently engraved in his head. He placed you down onto your bed gently, peppering kisses along your jawline as he hovered over you.

“I missed you so much,” he muttered against your skin. “I missed your lips.” He pressed a kiss to your lips. “Your neck.” Another kiss against the curve of your neck. “Your nose.” A quick peck to the tip of your nose. “Your hands.” He brought your hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it.

You couldn’t help but blush at his words. If someone had told you all those years ago when you first started at the BAU that this man, the one who was always so stern and stoic in the workplace, would practically be worshipping and admiring each little bit of your body as his way to show you that he loved you, you would have told them that they were crazy.

But there he was, pressing kisses in any place he could as if he couldn’t get enough. “I fucking love you, Y/N.”

You ran your hands along his back as you tilted your neck as he sucked and nipped on the spots he knew would drive you crazy. You already felt yourself growing wet from anticipation and the more he touched you, the more arousal you were sure he was going to find in between your legs.

“God, I love you too,” you whispered breathlessly.

He sat up on his knees in between your legs and pulled his shirt up over his head quickly, revealing the toned body that you had grown oh so familiar with in your time together.

You started to unbutton Aaron’s flannel, not wanting to wait for his touch much longer. He undid the button of your jeans, pushing them down along with your panties before he threw them in the pile of discarded clothes that was building around your bed.

He leaned forward and kissed the inside of your thighs as you shrugged off his flannel before throwing it aimlessly across the room. Aaron placed a kiss on your stomach before looking back up at you.

“Think you taste as good as I remember?” he said with a devilish smirk, his eyes becoming blown out from lust.

“Why don’t you find out?”

That was all the encouragement he needed before you shuddered from the sudden contact of his tongue licking a slow but impactful swipe along your wet pussy.

He groaned lightly, his eyes practically rolling into the back of his head. “Fuck, baby. Just perfect. Exactly how I remembered the way your pretty little pussy tasted.”

You arched yourself off the bed, desperate for more.

Aaron reached underneath your back and undid the clasp of your bra, throwing it behind him. He took your right nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the hardening bud. You moaned at the sensation, your hand fisting the sheets around you. “Almost forgot how much I loved your gorgeous tits,” he mumbled as he moved to your other nipple to give it the same treatment.

“Oh fuck,” you moaned out as he bit gently on your nipple. You ran your hand through his hair, leaving it tousled in your wake.

Aaron removed his mouth from your breasts and pressed a quick kiss to your lips. “Such a good girl,” he muttered as he snaked his hand down to your body, thrusting two fingers into your throbbing pussy.

You grabbed onto his shoulder for support as he fucked you with his fingers, rubbing lazy circles around your clit in just the right way. He inserted another finger, spreading your arousal throughout your folds.

“So fucking wet,” he murmured as he kissed along your jawline and neck. He moved back in the bed and took his fingers out of you just as you were certain that a powerful wave of euphoria was going to ripple through your body. You groaned at the ceasing of movement as he undid his belt of his jeans. “You’re not coming on my fingers tonight, sweetheart. I want you to come on my tongue and then my cock.” He shimmied his pants and boxers down, revealing just how hard his erection actually was as it hit into his stomach when he removed his pants.

You bit down on your bottom lip, nodding excitedly at his words as he leaned down in between your legs again. He wrapped his arms underneath your thighs to get better access to your pussy before he started to eat you out mercilessly.

His tongue swiped and lapsed you up before he sucked on your clit. You pushed his head closer to you, your hand iron tight in his hair.

“Holy fucking shit,” you groaned out as Aaron continued to flick his tongue in and out of your dripping pussy.

He groaned against you, sending the vibrations through your body. “Fucking delicious,” he mumbled as he continued to keep the right pace that would ensure you to cum soon.

Without warning, his fingers returned to aid the endeavors of his tongue as you felt the familiar knot return as you were pushed closer and closer to your release. His tongue and fingers worked in tandem to get you to your high, all the while wanton moans escaped your lips with each one growing louder than the last.

“Oh, Aaron,” you whispered, panting.

“Come for me baby. All over my fucking tongue. I want to taste all of you,” he urged.

That was all you needed to come crashing to your release. Aaron continued to devour you as he helped you through your orgasm.

“That’s my girl. You did so well, Y/N,” he assured, slowing the movements in your pussy before taking his fingers out of you. He held up his fingers, that were practically dripping with your arousal, and brought them up to your mouth. He pulled down on your bottom lip and pushed his fingers in gently, allowing you to taste yourself on them.

You swirled your tongue around his fingers to lick them clean, hearing a satisfied groan vibrate through Aaron’s throat.

His hand reached down to his cock, the head leaking with precum, and he stroked it a few times. He moved closer in between your legs and dragged his tip along your folds to get it slick with the arousal remaining there.

“Aaron please,” you begged.

“Please what, angel?”

“Just fuck me already.” Aaron placed his hands next to your head and held himself over you. You wrapped your hand around his dick and stroked it before lining it up with your pussy and guiding him inside you.

Breathy moans filled the air as Aaron filled you to the hilt, his cock fully inside you. He threw his back in pleasure before crashing his lips down to yours. He started moving his hips slowly, giving you time to get used to his size. It’s not like you needed much time considering how slick you already were from your orgasm only moments before.

“Fuck, I forgot how well my cock fits inside your pretty little pussy,” he groaned as he thrusted his hips into you. You started to roll your hips to meet his actions, dragging your nails down his back.

He continued at his pace before snapping his hips faster, the sound of skin on skin filling your room. You felt the sweat starting to build on your forehead as you watched Aaron’s already damp hair grow damper from his movements.

You wrapped your legs around his waist to pull him as close as you could, wanting him as deep inside you as he could go. “Fuck, Aaron. I love you,” you moaned, kissing his shoulder as he buried his head in the crook of your neck.

“I love you too, Y/N.” His movements grew faster and you felt your second orgasm of the night quickly approaching. You clenched your walls around Aaron’s cock and he let out a guttural moan, one that literally caused you to snap and find your release.

“Oh god, Aaron,” you hollered out as Aaron continued to fuck you to follow behind with his own climax. A few more deep thrusts into you and you felt him release inside you, moaning straight into your ear.

He slowed his body’s movements, coming down his high before gently resting his weight on you. You pressed a kiss to the top of his head and ran your fingers through his hair.

He stayed like that for a few minutes, providing you warmth from his weight. Aaron kissed your bare shoulder before removing himself from you.

You felt your combined cum start to drip down you but you didn’t care. The only thing that mattered to you was that you had Aaron with you.

He got up off of the bed and you watched as he walked into the bathroom before coming back with a damp towel to clean you up. “My girl. Y/N, you look absolutely gorgeous when you come like that,” he praised.

You hummed in content, feeling the cool towel between your legs. Aaron pressed a kiss to your thighs once he was done cleaning up before he got rid of the towel that he had used.

Once he came back into the bedroom, he grabbed his boxers from the floor and slipped them back on before tossing you his flannel. You sat up in bed and put it on, only buttoning the top and the bottom because you simply didn’t have the energy to button anymore.

Aaron slid into the bed next to you and wrapped his arm around your torso, pulling you close to him. He pressed his forehead against yours and kissed the tip of your nose. “Did I ever tell you how hot you look in my clothes?” he mumbled.

“Once or twice,” you laughed. You held him close to you as you felt his fingertips brush gently over your hip.

“Hey, Y/N?” he said softly.

“Yeah?”

He leaned closer to you and placed his lips next to your ear. “I’m moving to New York,” he whispered.

You pushed back against his chest to look at him, your heart filling with anticipation.

“What the hell do you mean you’re moving to New York?” you asked, not sure how to process that information.

“I’m going to come work at the New York field office with you.” He smiled widely and pressed a chaste kiss on your lips.

“But the BAU- You’re the unit chief. There’s nothing like that available at the New York field office,” you said quietly. You were so shocked with what he was saying because of the hard work he put in at Quantico to get to where he was.

“Don’t worry about it. I got it all figured out. I’m going to be the head prosecutor for the New York office. It’s something I miss doing and if it means I get to be with you, then I’d be an idiot not to take it.”

You placed your hand on his chest and rubbed it gently. “Aaron, you can’t do that. You’d be losing out on too much.”

He held you tighter against him and kissed you deeply. “Remember before when I said I would never have asked you to leave your job for me? That doesn’t mean that I won’t leave my job for you. I’d always choose you and the happiness you bring me over some job.”

You brought your hand up to his cheek and ran your thumb along his jawline before pushing the stray strands of hair off of his forehead. “Are you sure this is what you want to do?”

“Absolutely,” he assured with no hesitation in his answer.

A giddy laugh escaped you before you captured his lips with yours. “I love you, Aaron Hotchner.”

“And I love you, Y/N Y/L/N. And I refuse to ever let you go again.”

[softyoongiionly]

chapstick

based on the time Jungkook said he needed someone to scold him so he’d remember to put lip balm on.

Or 

Jungkook’s had a really long day and the only that can make it better, is seeing you. 

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 5.8k

Genre: fluff, smut, established relationship, jungkook has a man bun idk what else I could possibly want

Warnings: language, explicit smut (18+ only plz), oral (male receiving)

A/N: Hello yes, I am mess. I wrote this in like four hours and it’s unedited but wow wow wow wow I am GOING THROUGH it for Jungkook. Anywayz, I love u. here u go

Jungkook is in a bad mood today.

He’s been awake since 6am, he hasn’t eaten since mid-morning and, he’s been practicing for over 12 hours.

Worst of all, everyone else seems to be in a good mood.  

It’s not that he hates when his hyung's are happy, it’s just that when you’re in a bad mood-  sometimes the shriek of someone’s laughter can feel intrusive.  

“Alright!” Hoseok’s voice hits the practice mirrors and with Jungkook feeling oversensitive, he cringes at the sound of it, “Let’s go again from the top!”

Jungkook sighs through his nose, stretching his sore back for a moment before getting back into formation.

“Jungkook-ah! Push a little harder in the second half ok?!”  

Hoseok is in dance-mode and therefore he has no idea how loud he’s being.

Jungkook purses his lips and nods, taking a deep breath before shaking out his hands.

“Yah! Jungkook?” Hoseok calls, facing the mirror, his eyes searching for Jungkook at the back of the practice room.

“Yeh.” He grunts, barely looking up from the floor.

“Did you hear me?”

He nods, his hands fumbling around in the pockets of his sweatpants, “Push harder in the second half...”

The rest of the boys seem unphased by his uninterested demeanor. They are no stranger to exhaustion.  

“Alright- let’s go.”

For what feels like the 100th time today, Jungkook moves through the routine as if it were second nature. The movements feel robotic and the muscles in his arms are beginning to turn to Jell-O. The strands of his hair are covered with sweat and, he’s thankful for his newly procured undercut for lessening the amount of heat he’d normally feel after working out this long.  

He feels gross though.  

Normally, he enjoys working this hard but today he isn’t feeling it. In fact, the strain between his brows is getting a little painful as he really tries his best not to frown.

The new choreography is intense and as much he likes the challenge- after the 100th time of running through it, he’s starting to get frustrated.

Panting through his nose, he holds his position at the end of the routine before Hoseok finally calls it.

“Yahhhh! That was a lot better huh? You guys did good.” He praises, clapping his hands, “Now go get some water and then we’ll run it again...”

Jungkook sighs hopelessly, letting his head fall back on his shoulders. He cringes at the feeling of sweat collecting on his skin, wanting nothing more than to make it back home to his shower.

Amongst other things...

Grabbing a bottle of water off of the table, Jungkook has to work very hard not to crush the bottle in his hands as he eagerly gulps down what he can. He finishes the bottle in record time and as he reaches for a second one, he pulls his phone out of his pocket to check it.  

Tweety: hiii I hope you’re having a good day! Do you want to takeout tonight? I got caught up at the school and, I didn’t pull anything out.

Jungkook feels his tight chest loosen up a bit as he sees your text come through.

You made a comment one day that he ‘gives off bugs bunny vibes’ and he responded by comparing you to Tweety bird.  

Needless to say, the nicknames are dumb but you guys think they’re cute.  

Bugs: takeout sounds good. I’ll be there late tonight though :/ I hope you had a good day too. Miss u.

Jungkook has just enough time to respond to you before he is wincing at the sound of Hoseok corralling everyone back to the practice floor.

Again, again, again, again, and again...

He’s so tired by the end of the circuit that he’s starting to feel throbbing in his temples. Headaches are a common side effect of over-exertion and just as he is getting ready to beg to go home, they are calling it.

“Ok ok- good job! You’ve worked hard everyone. Let’s rest for a day and then resume on Sunday.”

Jungkook feels his entire body deflate with relief at the last words parading out of Hoseok’s mouth.  

His day is finally over.

He reminds himself to never wear new boots to rehearsal again because he can’t feel the tips of his toes and his fairly certain there are blisters on the of his ankles.  

“Are you riding with me?” Jimin asks him on the way out of the practice room, his voice decorated with exhaustion.

Jungkook doesn’t fully pay attention to his question, his eyes already trained on his phone.

“No, I’m getting my own car.”

Jimin looks confused for a moment before a small smirk comes over his face.

“Are going to see her?”

Jungkook doesn’t respond quick enough, his mouth parted slightly as he types out his message to you.

“Aren’t you worried what people are going to think? You’re over there a lot...”

Jimin isn’t being judgmental with his questioning and Jungkook knows this. He can hear the genuine concern in his voice and understands that his hyung is merely looking out for him.

“I don’t really care what people think anymore.” He answers honestly, ensuring that he keeps his tone as polite as possible.  

Jungkook’s had to worry about the opinions of others since he was 15. As grateful as he is for his career, he is growing tired of being unable to make his own decisions. His gaze hones in on the tattoos covering his fingers and forearms and remembers a time not too long ago where he was required to hide them. Putting a band aids on his own self-expression didn’t feel good and he sort of promised himself that he wouldn’t allow the expectations of others to stop him from doing what he wanted.  

Or seeing who he wanted...

“You’re getting bolder with age.” Jimin notes, somewhat proudly as his eyes flicker over to him, “You really like her, don’t you?”

Tweety: miss u toooooo. I ordered ramen

Bugs: I just got out. I should be there in 20 minutes. I’m so hungry

Jungkook feels his cheeks heat up at Jimin’s question and rather than answer him, he just kind of shrugs, his mouth turned up in a small smirk.  

“Yah, don’t hold out on me-”Jimin bumps his shoulder, tilting his head in an attempt to get him to look his way, “We’ve known each other for how long?”

Jungkook slips his phone back into his pocket and adjusts his bag on his shoulder.

“I think the answer is obvious hyung.”

Jimin rolls his eyes playfully, “If it’s so obvious then why don’t you just say it.”

The two of them lean against the wall of the lobby, waiting on a notification from their drivers that they are outside.

Jungkook bites his lip, in an attempt to reign in the grin that threatens his face.

“I like her.”

Laughter trickles out of Jimin’s lips as he bumps his shoulder, “Why are you shy all of the sudden? Is there something else I don’t know?”

Yes.

There was something else Jimin didn’t know.  

Jungkook hasn’t told a single soul since it happened.  

He’s so incredibly private and after meeting you, he only has more of an urge to keep things to himself.  

“There’s nothing.” Jungkook mutters, his eyes eagerly looking checking his phone for the driver notification.

“You’re lying to me.” Jimin calls him out, “What is it?”

Jungkook shakes his head, tucking a bit of hair behind his ear. He licks over his lips and immediately regrets the fact that he forgot his Chapstick.

How’s he supposed to kiss you, if his lips are chapped?

“Jungkook-ah, tell me-” Jimin whines, tugging on his sleeve.

He merely snickers finally and shrugs him off, shaking his head, “There’s nothing to tell. Why do you think I’m hiding something from you?”

“Because I’ve known you for almost ten years and I-” Jimin begins before a knowing smirk comes over his face, “Wait- you’ve slept with her haven’t you?”

Jungkook’s eyes widen a bit, taken aback by his bold statement, “Someone’s going to hear you, why are you asking questions like this?”

His hyung giggles, deeply satisfied with his discovery, “You have, haven't you?”

Jungkook feels the threat of a smile come over his face again, “Why do you want to know? It doesn’t matter.”

“It matters-” He shoots him a pointed look, “Because we’re best friends? And I want to know. When did it happen?”

Jungkook is feeling a little bit bolder, unable to help the pride he feels that he was finally able to experience an intimate relationship, “Which time?”

Jimin’s eyes widen before he slaps Jungkook on the arm, “Which time??? You’ve done it more than once?”

“Shhh-” Jungkook whisper yells, his brow furrowing, “We’ve been seeing eachother for 6 months. Why do you look so surprised?”

Jimin chuckles this time, glancing behind him, “I just- I don’t know...it was your first time, wasn’t it? I just thought you’d make a bigger deal of it.”

He shrugs again, a smirk still lingering, “It was a big deal- to us. I thought you guys would just figure it out eventually.”

Ever the nosy one, Jimin slinks a little closer to him, a bit of mischief in his eyes, “It’s fun huh?”

Jungkook just rolls his eyes, brushing him off playfully, “I thought I was supposed to be the youngest.”

Jimin ignores his comment and just looks at him expectantly.

Giving up on holding out, Jungkook finally gives him what he wants and replies.

“It was fun.”

Jimin offers his signature bit of laughter again but before he’s able to interrogate him any further, Jungkook finally gets the notification that his driver is here.

“I’ll see you Sunday, hyung.” Jungkook gives him a short wave before adjusting his bag on his shoulder.

Jimin smirks and flutters his fingers in his direction, “Have fun.”

Jungkook just shakes his head, groaning to himself as he finally leaves the building.

Slumping into his seat, he shuts his eyes for a moment and tries his best not to fall asleep. Thankfully, his desire to eat his weight in ramen paired with his desire to see you keeps him from passing out.  

You and Jungkook have been together for a while now and although the initial nerves surrounding seeing him have lessened slightly, you still want to look good for him. Thankfully for you, when it comes to impressing your boyfriend- less is more.  

Slowly but surely, he has revealed his preferences to you but they have slipped out casually. He doesn’t ever want you to feel like you have to look a certain way for him.  

But you do know he likes black.

And you do know he likes when you wear oversized pieces.

The harsh bit of winter also makes dressing in gigantic hoodies and thick socks a lot easier anyhow.  

So you opt for something along the lines of cute but comfy and tend to your hair the easiest way you know how.  

Jungkook also loves it when you don’t wear any makeup. But he’s never told you directly, you’ve just figured out based on the way he gets all starry eyed every time you wash your face at night.  

The ramen is all set up in the living room and you’ve got one of the Christmas movies the two of you started the other day, ready to play.  

By the time you hear a knock at your door, everything is ready for a cozy Friday night with your boyfriend.

Upon opening your door, you are met with the sight of Jungkook- sweaty, soft and slightly sleepy standing there in all of his glory. He’s dressed in grey sweats and a big white t-shirt, his hair tied up messily atop his head. Along with the smell of sweat, you can faintly make out the remnants of his cologne and it stirs something deep inside of you.  

Jungkook’s eyes scan over you briefly, offering a small smile as he leans in to peck your cheek, “Hiiii...”

He sings the greeting, patting your hips as he quickly steps into your apartment.  

“Hello,” You sing back, giggling a bit, “Did you guys just now finish up practicing? Didn’t you start at like 7?”

Jungkook winces as he begins slipping off his big clunky boots, leaning back against your front door, “Yeah. I really thought they were trying to kill me- I did the new dance so many times, I lost count.”

Pouting your lips, you take his bag off his shoulder and hang it up on your coat rack.  

“I’m so sorry.” You murmur, shaking your head, “Did they give you tomorrow off at least?”

At this, Jungkook grins, nodding as he does, “Yeah, I was going to ask you what you were doing tomorrow cause I thought maybe you’d want to hang out. Our night was supposed to start a lot earlier...”

He looks regretful and even slightly annoyed.

He’s been having this issue a lot lately where his prior obligations and engagements seem to mean nothing to his directors, which never used to be a big deal but, now that he has you in his life- he never wants to let you down.

“I’m free all day-” You reply happily, before narrowing your eyes at him, “I have one condition though-”

Jungkook looks intrigued, cocking his head as he steps forward, “What’s your condition?”

“I need one of these...” Pointing to your lips, you pucker them and make grabby hands at your boyfriend.

He laughs softly, shaking his head as he closes the space between you, “I just got here and you’re already using kisses as collateral now huh?” His voice gets a little lower and before you can reply, his gently places his lips on yours, sighing out through his nose as his flutter shut.

Once he starts kissing you, you aren’t really able to think of a coherent response. Leaning into him, you hum lightly in your throat, tucking your lips between his.  

However, when you attempt to slide your hand up the exposed skin of his arm, he winces and pulls away.

Groaning, you can’t help but giggle, “I know- I know... ‘babe, I’m too sweaty. Let me just shower really quick and then I’ll promise, I'll kiss you so much better’...”

At your attempt to imitate his voice, Jungkook starts laughing- cute nose scrunched up with delight.

He kisses his teeth, “You know me too well. I’ll be right back.”

Jungkook leans in again and kisses you on the cheek before disappearing into your bathroom moments later

After his showering, he comes out in a baggy t-shirt and some sweats, his hair freshly blow dried and piled up on his head in a messy bun.  

He scarfs down his dinner in record time before the two of you settle back against the couch.  

You can feel him looking at you as you giggle at the TV but he doesn’t let his eyes linger very long. He just kind of stares for a moment before simply tightening his grip around your shoulders. He feels so warm beside you that you seriously wonder how long you’ll be able to stay awake with him being the human equivalent of a weighted blanket.  

When your laughter erupts again, Jungkook leans in to pop a kiss on your check, which broadens your smile that much more. It’s only for a moment before he turns back to the TV, seemingly satisfied with his actions. However, you decide to return the favor and smoosh your lips against his face, eliciting a snicker from his throat.  

You snuggle into him more, grabbing his arm that’s resting on the couch beside you and wrapping it around so that his hand is resting your lap. Leaning your head against his chest, you slowly began tracing over the markings on his skin lightly brushing your nails against each unique line. Jungkook’s eyes are trained on the TV and despite his blank expression, you can see the goosebumps forming on his skin.  

Regardless, you just keep going, allowing your fingertips to trace over the letters adorning his hand. Using your nails, you trace between each of his fingers, before interlocking them your own. Once you’re holding hands, Jungkook squeezes slightly, brushing his thumb along your skin which then prompts you to finally to turn to the side and look at him.  

He grins softly, still not glancing your way but choosing to offer a playful comment instead, “You’re not watching the movie...”

You laugh softly, reaching out with your free hand and tilting his face towards you.

“We’ve watched this movie four times-” You retort, “Besides I’m pretty sure I remember you promising me that you’d kiss me properly once you were out of the shower.”

Jungkook’s grin broadens, his doe-eyes alight with defiance, “I’m pretty sure you promised yourself that for me- I don’t remember agreeing to it.”

You scoff in mock offense, “Damn ok. So it’s like that huh? I buy you ramen and yet this is how I’m treated. I’m calling the UN...”

Jungkook laughs a little harder now, the sound a little sharp but intensely endearing, “It’s that serious for you?”

Pouting, you nod, “It is that serious.” You’re about to say something else before you brush your thumb over his lips and notice the dryness there, “Did you remember to bring your chapstick today?”

He immediately sucks his lips between his teeth and given that his ability to speak is no compromsied he simply nods, his eyes wide with false innocence.

“Mhmmm.” He lies

“No you didn’t!” You exclaim, laughing a bit as you press your thumb against the thin line of his mouth, “Babe, it’s so cold outside- your lips are going to start cracking.”

Unfurling his lips, he lets his head fall back on his shoulders, “I know, I know-” He whines playfully before his head snaps back up to yours, the same glint remaining in his gaze, “You have some right?”

You roll your eyes, “You know that I do.”

He snickers, quickly leaning in to kiss your cheek, “Can I have some then?”

Playfully shoving him off, you rise from the couch and shake your head, “I’m giving you one to keep in your rehearsal bag,” You shuffle over to your bathroom, “You better use it!”

He laughs as he hears your demand echo down the hallway before calling back, “Hurry jagi! They are so dry- I can feel them! They are so close to cracking!”

Seconds later, your hurling one of your many lip balms into his lap which he catches just before it hits him.

“Put it on...” You demand pointedly and he shakes his head.

“I don’t think I can-” He sighs dramatically, holding the lip balm out to you, “You have to do it- all of the moisture in my body is slowly fading away...my lips are trying to suck it all up.”

Giggling, you cross your arms, shaking your head, “That makes absolutely no sense.”

“Y/N! Please!” Jungkook chokes out, “Before I waste away...the winter-” His eyes bug out of his head, as his hand clutches his chest, “the winter jagi- it's going to dry me out completely.”

Finally snapping, you grab the Chapstick out of his hands before asserting yourself into his lap. He laughs, resting his head against the couch cushions whilst his hands sneakily find their way to your hips.

“You’re so annoying...” You grumble, still giggling yourself as he puckers his lips dramatically.

“I’m only following your recommendations.” He insists, making kissy noises at you, “Balm me up baby.”

Uncapping the chapstick, you press your chest against his before starting to drag it over his lips. As you get to work on helping him, his mischievous gaze slowly softens until he’s looking up at you with stars in his eyes. Carefully, you make sure every inch of his mouth is covered with balm, paying special attention to the corners and his lower lip. As you finish up, you put the cap back on set on the couch cushion.

He rubs his lips together, humming in satisfaction.

You smirk, “Better?”

Jungkook nods his Adams’ apple bobbing in his throat as he feels you shift on his hips.  

“Make sure.” He murmurs, puckering his lips, his eyes starting to swim with arousal.

You lean in, unable to refuse him before capturing his mouth in a kiss. Rotating your head, you slowly deepen the connection between your lips, drawing a sigh from the boy beneath you. You can feel his thumbs rub ever so gently against the back of your hips as he leans fully back so that your chest is resting on his.

He nudges your nose, allowing his tongue to brush against the bottom of your top lip, requesting entrance into your mouth. You accept him, licking along his tongue, a shiver running up your spine as he sucks slightly on the top of you.  

Jungkook really is a filthy kisser but you’d never guess by just looking at him.  

He’s quite sure his face is growing numb, his only focus on the way you’re making him feel and a somewhat annoying pain on the back of his head. His ponytail is digging against the wall, causing unnecessary discomfort to wash over him. Still kissing you, he reaches behind his head to pull the hair tie out, allowing his hair to fall freely around his face. You take the opportunity to slide your fingers between the strands, scratching gently at his scalp and causing a slightly shaky breath to leave his lips.  

He loves when you play with his hair.  

You use both hands now to tuck it behind his ear before using them to slide down the length of his arms. Finding his hands on your hips, you lace your fingers with his and bring them back up so they are pinned against either side of his head.  

The making out didn’t get him fully hard but as soon as he feels his hands pinned against the head of the couch, he feels his dick twitch almost painfully in his sweatpants.  

Smirking into his mouth, you delight in the sudden halt to his breathing. Subtly, he pushes his hips up a bit when you start kissing your way down his chin and throat. Jungkook summons all the resolve he has and goes perfectly still when you start placing soft kisses along the expanse of his throat. You feel the ache between your legs worsen when you feel his fingers tightening against yours. Jungkook is a very sensitive person, both emotionally and physically. Over the time you’ve become intimate, you’ve slowly uncovered all the little spots that drive him crazy.  

And you’re determined to kiss every single one.  

“You had a hard day huh?” You murmur sweetly, kissing up the right side of his neck.

All he does is nod, his eyes falling shut as he feels your lips getting closer to his earlobe.  

Placing another kiss at his hairline, you slowly kiss along the bottom half of his ear before capturing it between your teeth.

His breath immediately leaves his lips in a shaky mess, his eyes squeezing together as the grip on your hands tightens.

“I think I should help you relax after you’ve worked so hard don’t you?”

He has no idea what you plan to do to him but, he honestly couldn’t give a fuck.  

He’s too hard, too wound up and too into to you to ask any meaningful questions.  

Jungkook merely nods, not trusting his vocal abilities at the moment as he waits for your next move.  

A smirk comes across your face as you suckle lightly on his earlobe, knowing how much he likes it before using your lips to descend back down his neck.  

You lean away from him to get a closer look at his expression. Smoothed out in pure pleasure but also tightening slightly at the discomfort brought on by his throbbing dick.  

His eyes are still closed as you release your grip on his hands and he keeps them that way even as you move to grip the hem of his t-shirt.  

“Are you falling asleep on me?” You tease and he merely grins, shaking his head.

“Then why are your eyes closed?”

He doesn’t open them and instead allows a breathless bit of laughter to leave his lips, sound almost exasperated.

“I feel dizzy.”

His simple responses elicits another desire within you that intensifies your goal to make him feel good.  

“In a good way?” You check, playfully pinching his stomach as you slowly pull up his t-shirt.

He goes back to nodding, his hands coming down to assist you with your task. His hair flops haphazardly as the material of his shirt messes with it. You take a moment to admire how incredibly beautiful he is when he settles back against the couch, your mouth going dry at the sight of him. Flushed face, pouted lips, defined muscles and hardened nipples lay before you, and you are a little unsure of where to put your lips first.

Although it doesn’t really matter, your destination is the same regardless.  

Deciding on another spot that drives him crazy, you allow your fingers to brush along his ribs before leaning in to kiss over his defined chest. Jungkook’s hands are laying limp against the couch but when he feels your lips nearing his nipple, he turns them so they are able to grip the edge of the couch. Sucking his nipple into your mouth, you let you tongue rub against the peak of it. Jungkook sighs loudly from above you and you can’t help but smirk as he still doesn’t allow himself to moan.  

It’s a quirk you’ve noticed and you feel like it’s likely left over from the long-discarded idea that Jungkook has regarding his masculinity. No matter how often you tell him that making noise is perfectly ok (and really hot) he still waits till he can’t help himself.  

And to be honest, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy pushing him towards that point.  

After you finish kissing his chest, you begin trailing your wet lips down the middle of torso, taking a moment to suck over the soft skin of his not so softly defined stomach.

“All those hours in the gym are really paying off-” You mumble against his skin, brushing your fingers over his abs, “You look so strong...”

At your compliment, his lips part, one side of his mouth turning up in a slight smile.

“I wanna look good for you.”

It’s quite a ridiculous statement really.  

Jungkook would look good no matter how many visible abs he had but you know he likes the praise none the less.  

So you shower him with it.

“You always look good for me.” You assure him, kissing along the band of his sweatpants now, “I’m proud of you for working so hard.”

He grins a little more, leaving his eyes mostly close but allowing them to peak open a bit to watch you sink to your knees.  

“Thank you.”

He swallows back the threat of hyperventilation as he feels you spread his legs, his eyes closing completely once again.  

If you weren’t able to make out the sound of his breath picking up, the movement of us chest certainly would have given it away, his pecks heaving a bit as he tries to relax.  

But as you begin gently massaging up his legs, Jungkook realizes relaxing might not be possible.  

At least not at the moment...

He’s stained the seam of his sweatpants with precum which would upset him if it were any other substance but with his dick being so hard, he really can’t find himself to care about anything else.

Tucking your fingers beneath his sweatpants, you begin tugging them off of his hips, relieved that he isn’t wearing any underwear.

Jungkook takes another deep and shaky breath through his nose, tilting his head back again as he tries to center his thinking.

But you’re kind of driving him insane.  

Starting at his knee, you kiss all the way up his inner thigh, taking in the scent of his body- indescribable and mouthwatering, just like him. You stop just before his dick before repeating your actions along the other leg.  

Jungkook’s stomach is caving in at the teasing but he does absolutely nothing to urge you further.  

He likes the torture.  

“Is there anything you want me to do while I'm down here?”  

Jungkook bites his bottom lip at your question, knowing that you’re going to make him ask for it but feeling shy regardless.

“Yes.” He breathes  

You brush your fingertips over his balls, his hips only slightly twitching at the sensation.

He’s trying to stay calm, not wanting to get so ahead of himself he blows his load before you’ve even started.  

“What is it that you want me to do?” You murmur, leaning in to breathe against his length.

You’re expecting him to stall and use every other word to ask for what he wants but instead, he surprises you.

“Suck on it...” He whispers, taking a deep breath before exhaling on the word, “...please.”

Smirking to yourself, you wrap a hand around him- feeling him throb within your grip before kitten licking over the tip of him. After ridding his dick of all the precum, you decide to end his descent into madness and suck him into your mouth.  

You start slow, licking up and down the length of him, your core aching at the taste. Jungkook’s nails are digging into the couch cushions as he feels your movements, his teeth starting to chew on the inside of his bottom lip.

Bringing your hand into the mix, you guide a flexible grip up and down up, using your lips to suck on the tip of him, your tongue tracing the curves of his frenulum.  

Jungkook’s lips part in awe as he feels the combination of moves on his dick, his toes curling against the shag carpet. He knows that his vision will be swimming but he wants to watch you so badly, he decides to finally open his eyes.  

As he predicted, his vision is spotty and the dizziness he felt earlier is nothing compared to the way he feels now.  

It all becomes irrelevant though when he locks eyes with you. Your boyfriends normally innocent gaze is completely glossed over with lust, his mouth hanging open as he stares down at you, the same smirk slowly returning to his lips.  

Sucking off of him, you use your hand to jerk him off as you address him, “Does it feel good?”

He bites his lip, his face and chest decorated with the flush of arousal as he nods.

“Why are you so quiet then?”  

For whatever reason, your question tickles him and drunken giggle bubbles up past his lips,

“’ss too good.” He explains, shaking his head at you, “I don’t know how to say anything...”

Logically, he understands that you aren’t talking about him necessarily saying anything but more so referring to the lack of noise he’s making. However, he knows very well that he’s going to be moaning for you soon, especially when your mouth returns to his dick a second time.  

When he feels you palm his balls, his eyes fall shut again, his hips twitching all over the place when you resume both sucking and jerking him off.  

Jungkook knows he’s biting his lip really hard when he starts to taste a bit of blood but he doesn’t care, the pleasure he’s experiencing overpowering any semblance of pain.  

“Y/N” He whispers, “I’m getting really close.”

His warning makes you swoon because he sounds so desperate and yet he’s being considerate, not wanting to intrude your mouth with the taste of him.  

Despite the fact that, that’s all you want.  

You merely moan against his length, signaling for him to let go whenever he wants, your speed increasing all the while.  

“Fuck...” He whispers again but the word sounds like it got caught in his throat, “Fuck...fuck...fuck.”

Hearing him swear makes the wet disaster in your shorts much worse but you wanna make him cum so badly, you ignore it completely. The sound of him nearing the edge is enough to take him all the way in your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you suck him harder.

Finally, he breaks- a whimpering skipping past his lips, one of his hands coming up to cover his mouth. As much as you want him to moan for you, you don’t want to stop your motions long enough to tell him.  

He throws his head back against the headrest, his eyes opening wide as he stares up at the ceiling in amazement. His body jerks as the first wave of his release hits your tongue and rope after rope, you swallow everything he gives you, sucking him through his orgasm and until the sensitivity becomes too much and he starts squirming beneath you.  

You suck off of him, allowing his softening length to rest against his lower stomach, which is now trembling with his heavy breath.

Jungkook pants, still staring him at the ceiling and while he’s coming down, you kiss along his hips, letting him take his time. Whilst you’re kissing up his happy trail, one of his hands reaches out to brush over your face. Its then you notice that it’s clammy and a bit shaky so, you take a moment to press a kiss over his knuckles, trying to encourage him to look at you.

“You’re shaking.” You whisper and before you know it, you can hear that same drunken giggle coming from his lips again.

Your boyfriend looks down at you, a deep sense of amazement in his eyes as he laughs still, a bit delirious.

“Yeah well-” He shakes his head, still trying to get his wits about him, “You should have a talk with your mouth about that...”

You giggle now, resting your chin on your hand as you admire how fucked-out he looks. His hair is a mess and he is covered in a light layer of sweat and if you’re being honest, you really want to jump his bones all over again. But you know he needs a minute.

“I just wanted to help you relax.” You claim innocently to which he just shakes his head, gesturing for you to get on the couch.

“Come here.”

You scramble up towards him, sitting beside his exhausted body and before you know it, he’s pulling in for a kiss, his smile creeping back when he feels your lips.

“You’re amazing.”

He sounds silly but sincere all at once, kissing softly at your lips before nudging your nose.

You smile back into the kiss, mumbling something of the same nature to him.  

The two of you kiss one another for a moment until Jungkook is pulling back, allowing his dark gaze to scan over your face, eyes suddenly full of determination.

“I think it’s time you relax too now, don’t you think?”

[kindahoping4forever]

I Don’t Wanna Spend One More Christmas Without You // Poly!Cashton

@cal-puddies​​ and I want to thank everyone who read/liked/reblogged/left us feedback during our Hoe For The Hoe-lidays event. We keep saying we can’t believe we pulled this off: between our 10 solo fics and this co-write, we posted over 30k words this week! I’m proud of not only that impressive feat but also the work we produced, these have been some of my favorite pieces in recent memory.

We knew we wanted to close out with a Galaxybrain co-write but we weren’t sure which of our lanes to feed. We figured, hey it’s the season of giving: why not both? 😏 In true Cass & Crystal fashion, this started out with us just being thirsty (we wrote the smut first lmao) but ended up being super heartfelt and emotional? Please be sure and let us know what you think, we couldn’t be prouder of this one!

Warnings: Reader x Calum, Reader x Ashton, Calum x Ashton; a relatively new throuple trying to figure out how to express their feelings for one another, filth but make it fluffy, unprotected sex within a triad relationship, oral sex performed on both a male and a female, manual stimulation of both a male and a female, cum play 

Word Count: 9150

Cass & Crystal’s Masterlist  // Hoe For The Hoe-lidays Masterlist

Let  us  know  what  you  think!

“Food’s here,” a voice quietly announces with a rap on the door.

You turn to see Calum in your bedroom doorway, sheepishly mouthing ‘sorry’ when he realizes you’re on the phone. You step over to him and whisper, “I’m almost done, bub,” reassuring him with a quick peck on the lips.

A few minutes later, you follow the sounds of loud laughter and conversation to the living room; you smile when you see Ashton standing there, in the midst of an animated story while Cal sits on the couch, hanging on every word, laughing as if it’s the funniest thing he’s ever witnessed. You honestly wonder if maybe it is.

You bounce over behind Ash, throwing your arms around him, nuzzling his back; his leather jacket feels cold against your face so you assume he hasn’t been here long. “I didn’t know we were seeing you tonight,” you chirp.

He chuckles, slinging an arm around you. “I was texting with Cal when he was ordering dinner and it sounded good so I invited myself,” he explains, kissing your forehead.

“Bullshit, I absolutely invited you!” Cal insists, smiling eyes betraying his words of protest. You giggle at their banter and untangle yourself from Ash to serve yourself some dinner. Cal continues his teasing, “The food sounded good, just admit you missed us and move on.”

Ashton sits down on the couch next to Cal and nudges his knee tentatively with his own. “Of course I missed you,” he says simply. The two men exchange sweet, almost shy smiles and you feel your entire being light up with affection as you watch them.

It’d been four months since you and Ash had asked Calum to be a part of your relationship and while the three of you were still individually and collectively deciding exactly what all that means, you were happy and that’s all that mattered to you.

In the year and a half you were with Ashton, it was as intense and meaningful a relationship as you’d ever had - but it was never quite right and you’d split up a handful of times. During one of your “breaks” last year, a friend of a friend suggested that Cal might be the answer to your search for a new roommate. You met for coffee one day and immediately hit it off; you’d be lying if you said you didn’t quickly develop feelings for him but more than anything at that point, you needed a friend and Cal was there for you when it really counted.

It came as no surprise that when Ash started hanging around again, he bonded with Cal as instantly as you did and the three of you became inseparable. You and Ashton reconciled once again and couldn’t help but notice how much more communicative and at peace with each other you were with Calum around. It’s like he had been the missing piece all along, he made everything feel right - and you eventually told him as much.

Which is why you’re struggling so much with the bad news you have to deliver to your boyfriends. You sit on your living room floor, picking at your dinner, going over the dilemma in your mind for the 100th time, trying to find a different solution.

“Darlin’?” Cal’s gentle but firm voice shakes you out of your thoughts and you look up blankly. “Ash asked if you wanted another soda.”

You blink a few times, as if that will reset your mind and bring clarity. “Oh. No thank you, love, I’m good!” You call out towards the kitchen.

“You feelin’ OK?” Cal asks, reaching across the coffee table to stroke your arm. “We’ve been talking about this food all day and you’ve barely touched it.”

You look into his dark eyes, full of care and concern and know you have to be honest with him. “I need to talk to you both about Christmas… it’s not great,” you admit.

Ashton searches your face as he sits back down. “Is your mom alright?” He gently asks, remembering a health scare your family was dealing with when he went home with you last winter.

You offer him a faint, loving smile. “Everyone’s fine… great, even. Uh… my sister is getting engaged,” you share, chewing your lip.

“Oh! ...Oh,” he responds, starting to understand the issue.

Calum looks between the two of you, baffled. “I don’t understand, why is that bad? I thought we liked her boyfriend?”

“We do,” you start, carefully. “It’s just… With this news in mind, I don’t know if it’s really the right time to tell everyone about our relationship now.” You can’t bring yourself to look in Cal’s eyes yet, not wanting to see if he’s as hurt as you fear he may be.

He sits back on the couch, trying to process. “I thought you said your parents would be super understanding and chill about us?”

Ash sees you struggling to find the words so he tries to help. “They would be. They will be,” he reassures Cal with a warm smile. “I think the concern is that an engagement might seem kind of mundane compared to an announcement like ours. What’s more exciting than a daughter bringing home one son in law? How about the other daughter bringing home two?”

“They’d spend the whole time doting on us, making sure we’re comfortable, Facebooking all the extended family who’s coming to visit to make sure no one says anything that might offend us… her moment would get totally overshadowed,” you explain. “And I’d hate that, this is a big deal, she deserves to be The Story.”

Calum listens intently, nodding. You finally catch his gaze and are relieved to see nothing but understanding and compassion on his face. “OK. Well, wouldn't it be better if I just didn’t go at all then?” He offers sincerely.

Your exclamation of “Bubba, no!” blends with Ashton’s soft sigh of “Cal…” and you all have to laugh at the outburst.

"That's not me trying to be dramatic or anything, I just don't want to cause any trouble," he shrugs.

You scoot around to come sit next to the couch. "I've really been looking forward to us spending our first Christmas together," you insist, squeezing Cal's knee. "If you're uncomfortable with coming under these circumstances, I understand but for what it's worth, I would like you there."

Ash places his hand on top of yours, reassuring Calum as well. "The family's already expecting you, just as a roommate," he points out. "Plus… trying to keep our secret could be kind of fun." He winks at Cal, who can't resist breaking into a wide grin.

Your “fun” holiday couldn’t be off to a worse start the next morning when Ashton arrives bright and early to pick you and Cal up only to find you still in your pajamas, rushing to finish getting your bags together. After a few minutes of Ash stomping around, huffing about getting a late start, Cal, peacemaker that he is, offers to help him pack the car while you finish up.

You meet them in the driveway a few minutes later, dragging your suitcase behind you. Ash promptly snatches it away from you without a word and you glare at him fiercely.

Calum appears at your side and holds you by the waist. “You can’t blame him for being irritated,” he says quietly, rubbing your arm. “You knew what time he was coming, you should have been packed.”

“Yeah… but,” you start.

Cal is already shaking his head. “No, darlin’, there’s no excuse. We had a plan, you should have been ready.”

“See!” Ashton says, coming up beside the two of you.

“Well, you don’t get to gloat, babe, you could have handled it better,” Cal chides.

“I don’t like it when you don’t pick sides,” Ash says, coming over to peck Cal’s cheek. He presses his lips to the top of your head. “I’m sorry I was a grouch.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t ready and delayed us 15 whole minutes,” you reply.

Cal pinches your hip. “Passive aggressive much?”

Ash shrugs at you. “It’s coming out of your breakfast time. It’s a 6 hour drive, love.”

“I’m aware, love,” you fire back, helping yourself into the back seat. He sighs as you pull the hood up on your sweatshirt and stuff your hands in the pocket.

Ash huffs as he shuts your door. Cal gently grabs his arm. “Give her a few minutes. We’ll make breakfast quick, coffee and bagels; smother hers in cream cheese, get some caffeine in her and she’ll forgive you,” he reassures.

His prediction is spot on and by the time you’re halfway through your cup of coffee, you’re leaning into the front seat to run your fingers through both of your boyfriends’ hair. “I’m so glad I get to take you both home with me,” you say warmly. “I’m sorry it can’t be exactly what we wanted, but I know it’ll still be special, because we’ll be together.”

The rest of the drive goes smoothly and when you arrive at your parents’ house, the family is waiting at the door for you; after introducing Calum, you’re immediately whisked away by your sister, gushing about the recent trip her boyfriend took her on for their anniversary. You listen quietly and hope your smile doesn’t give anything away, you love that she has no idea what’s coming in a few days.

Your dad loves Ashton and couldn’t be more thrilled that you brought him home again; he offers to help him unload the car and makes a big show of pointing out how similar their leather jackets are, going so far as to make a “like father, like son” joke.

You sneak a few apologetic glances over at Calum, who you hope isn’t feeling too left out in his role of “your roommate” as he makes small talk with your sister’s boyfriend. You feel endlessly grateful for your mother when you see her sit down and start showing Cal all the gourmet vegetarian recipes she’s bookmarked on her iPad, asking what he’d prefer for Christmas dinner; she’s clearly charmed by his shyly polite responses and you fight the urge to go over and kiss over his squishy, crinkly face as her attention continues to make him more smiley and flustered.

While your mom and sister set the table for dinner, your dad and Ash carry the luggage to your respective rooms for you to get settled; you take advantage of the opportunity to break away and check in with Cal, under the guise of showing him the trick to operating the shower in the guest bathroom.

You turn the overhead fan on to help drown out your conversation. “You doin’ OK, bub?” You ask, massaging his shoulders.

He squeezes your hip. “It was hard at first but your mom’s sweet,” he gives you a sad smile. “Guess I didn’t realize how weird it’d be to see you and Ash act like a couple again, since I’m used to seeing you be… whatever we are.”

“The best thing that’s ever happened to me, that’s what we are,” you easily respond, drawing him in for a quick, soft kiss.

He holds you by the hips, resting his forehead to yours. “Thank you,” he murmurs. “You better get out of here before people get suspicious.” He presses his lips to your forehead and you step out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind you.

You spend the next few days trying to make sure Calum doesn’t feel left out. Your dad invites him to join some of the “future son in law” activities he’d planned but Cal is easily swayed to stay with your mom and help around the house. His height and muscle mass are highly desired for decorating or carrying in groceries and he’s so sweet and well-mannered, your mom is just tickled to have him around. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think she had a crush on him.

The day before Christmas Eve, Cal agrees to join the men for lunch and last minute shopping; your mom encouraged him to go because she wanted to make a secret shopping trip with you so you could pick out a few gifts for the family to give him so he didn’t get left out.

From what Ashton tells you when they return, the outing seemed to go well; you chatted with Cal a little that evening and he seemed to be in good spirits, happy with how things had turned out. But you can still sense him needing the affection you haven’t been able to provide; aside from a stolen kiss here and there, you’d barely touched him since you arrived and he and Ash had been keeping their distance so as not to raise eyebrows. What weighs on you most is knowing Calum hadn’t slept alone since the three of you became the three of you and you can see it wearing on him.

Ashton climbs in bed next to you. “Love… who’re you texting?” He asks, already knowing the answer.

“I just want to make sure he’s OK,” you say sheepishly.

“He’s fine, love,” he murmurs, kissing your cheek, then letting his lips trail down to your neck. “You’ve said he’s had fun with you and your mom and I saw him have a great day today. He’s good… now, me on the other hand? I could use some attention.” His lips firmly attach to your jaw and he’s practically laid himself on top of you, hovering.

You giggle at his lack of subtlety. “When do you not want attention?” You tease, pulling him into a hungry kiss. “I’ve been missing you too, Ash. I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you much, I’ve just been worried about how Cal’s handling things and I love my family but being around them is kind of draining…”

He cuts you off with a sweet kiss. “I know, baby… ‘s why I thought we could use a little stress relief,” he flirts, leaning in to mouth at that spot behind your ear that makes you crazy.

You hum with interest and brush his hair off his forehead. “We’d have to be quiet, we can’t have another incident like last year,” you say with a smirk.

Ash pulls back to playfully glare at you. “We’ve gone over this, technically that noise I made was your fault. If you hadn’t done that thing with your tongue, I wouldn’t have cum so suddenly and the incident would’ve been avoided,” he argues, tickling your side.

You try fighting him off to no avail. “My sister did think it was pretty funny… after the initial horror wore off,” you giggle, batting at his hands, trying to get him to let up.

After another minute or so of play fighting, you “win” by wrapping your legs around Ashton’s body and using them to draw him back over you. He kisses you with a little more emotion behind it than last time, pulling away to whisper, “I’m very happy I get to be here with you.” Your stomach flips at his sincerity and you wrap your arms around his neck, letting your kisses tell him how much you appreciate him.

Things start to heat up and Ash’s hands slide up your sweatshirt and over your hips; his hands are slow to tease you the way they usually do and when you rock against him, you’re slightly surprised you don’t feel him straining against his sweatpants yet. Your fingers travel under his long sleeve tee and dance over his abs to meet his waistband. You’re just about to dip your hand in when he stops you.

“Does this feel weird to you? This feels weird to me,” he sighs, flopping over onto his back beside you. He runs his hand through his long, dark hair, distressed. “Why does this feel weird to me?”

You roll onto your side, curling up next to him. “Well… we haven’t been intimate together, just the two of us, since Cal happened,” you say gently, stroking softly at his chest. “Do you think maybe you miss him being with us?”

“Yeahhhhh, I think so…” He lets out a long exhale, playing with your hand on him. “I just… it’s silly, you and me had sex a million times before we met him and now… I pull away from you and expect to see his eyes smiling at me while he kisses your shoulders. Expect to feel your skin already warm from his touch… expect to feel him warm next to me. Want it, even.”

“Ash,” you pout, touched by how he’s opening up to you, how open he’s being with himself about his feelings for Calum. “It’s not silly, you care about him. It’s not that you and I are suddenly uncomfortable with each other, it’s just that we’re used to more than this now. Need it, even.”

You rest your head on his chest and lay together, quiet and understanding while you both evaluate your feelings. After a while, you decide to lighten the mood, lifting your head up to tease, “A million times, eh?”

Ashton laughs loudly, clamping his hand over his mouth to muffle the noise. A beat passes and he meets your eyes for the first time since this conversation started, giving you an almost shy smile. “Think we could slip him in here undetected?”

You grin at him as you reach for your phone. “I don’t think the three of us would be able to keep it down, so no funny business,” you warn, texting your boyfriend. “But at the very least, we’ll get some alone time, even for a few minutes.”

Ash gets up and cracks the door, waiting for Cal to make his way down the hall; when he appears in the doorway, you see Ashton’s shoulders instantly relax. He gently closes the door behind him and wraps Calum in a tight, warm embrace; you can’t tell what Ash murmurs in his ear but whatever it is, it casts a soft, lovestruck glow across Cal’s features when he hears it.

His eyes meet yours and you open your arms wide. “Come lay with us, bubba,” you invite him.

“But…” He motions to the door, looking unsure.

Ash shrugs, “We can say we’re watching a movie.” He rests his chin on Cal’s shoulder from behind. “What do you say, babe? We miss you.”

Calum relaxes, gently reaching up to scratch at Ash’s scruff. He moves toward the bed but clearly doesn’t know what to do.

“Lay next to me, bub!” You smile, patting the bed next to you.

Ash lets a soft smile cross his face. “Why don’t you get in the middle?” He suggests.

Cal lays next to you and you instantly snuggle into him, throwing your arm across his body while Ash settles in on his other side. Cal wraps his arm around you and kisses your forehead; you look up with a pout and he presses his lips to yours. He pulls away from you when he feels Ashton nuzzle his cheek; Ash looks at him lovingly and gently plants a chaste kiss on his lips.

“Thought we were cuddling, lovers,” Cal whispers against his mouth.

“We are… just wanted to give you affection too,” Ash murmurs.

The three of you lay quietly for a while, Ash’s head next to Cal’s on the pillow and you draped across Cal’s body. His arm is tight around your back while he and Ash shyly play with each other’s fingers.

Ash looks over at you and you watch as his eyes take you in. “Our girlfriend sure is beautiful, isn’t she, Cal?” He whispers, lips gently pressing to Cal’s jaw.

“Gorgeous,” he agrees, turning his eyes to you, sweeping your hair back. Ash leans in to you first for a kiss, with Cal wanting one right after. You sigh, scooting up so you can rest your head in the crook of Cal’s neck, and let yourself drift to sleep. Calum knows immediately, he’s felt your even breath on his neck many times.

“She sleeps so easy with you,” Ash comments, brushing his fingers against Cal’s for the umpteenth time. Cal finally laces his fingers with Ashton’s, looking over at him. They stare at each other for a few moments before Ash speaks again. “I’m so glad you decided to come with us after all… I know it’s not perfect and not what we talked about, but I don’t think either of us would enjoy this without you.”

“I’m really happy to be here,” Cal responds quietly, squeezing Ash’s hand and your sleeping body gently. “I was definitely missing all of this though... thanks for bringing me in tonight.”

“We needed you,” Ash confesses, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. “Weird when you're not here now.”

Calum turns his face toward Ashton’s, nuzzling in and enjoying the warmth of his boyfriend, his rough hand wrapped with his; he grins against Ash’s cheek and Ash responds with a kiss to his forehead.

Cal stays, wrapped in the both of you, for another 45 minutes before the men agree it’s time to call it a night. He tries his best not to wake you as he slips out of bed but he fails, leading to an extra 15 minutes of your soft whines and insistence that he stay. He finally leaves you with a passionate kiss and a kiss on the cheek for Ash.

The next day, Christmas Eve, goes by fast. Various family and friends are in and out of the house all day, stopping by to share their holiday greetings. Continuing your family’s tradition, the men head out in the afternoon to pick out and haul home a Christmas tree and after dinner, you all decorate it together.

Like you’ve done since you were kids, the lights in the living room get turned off for a dramatic “reveal” of the lit and decorated tree when you’re all finished. The multi-colored lights get plugged in and brighten up the room, illuminating your sister’s boyfriend down on one knee. You squeeze Ashton’s hand and subtly brush your pinky down the back of Calum’s hand. Her “moment” is perfect and you silently thank your boyfriends with your eyes for understanding why you wanted this for her.

After some dessert and celebratory cocktails, everyone is exhausted but happy to be together. Your dad gets a fire going and your sister puts on the old Rudolph special you loved as kids; you plop yourself in Ashton's lap on the couch, with Cal sitting close by, close enough for you to keep throwing him little glances undetected. You know it must’ve been hard for him to go back to bed alone after the time you spent together last night and even harder today, having to watch you and Ash continually couple up and be gushed over by your holiday visitors.

Halfway through the show, your dad starts snoring so Mom decides it’s time for them to head up to bed. Your sister and her fiancée make it through to the end of the show but when you suggest following it up with Frosty The Snowman, they decline and tell you and the guys goodnight.

After such a long day, filled with so much unspoken emotion, it's surprising how quiet the three of you are now that you're alone. Sitting with your men in a room lit only by the warm glow of the fire and the soft colored lights of the tree - this was the type of scene you imagined when you envisioned your first Christmas together. But the feeling's not quite right.

You peck Ashton on the cheek before sliding off his lap, moving to sit on the other side of Calum, putting him in the middle of you and Ash. You run a hand through his hair, tentatively at first, just in case everyone in the house isn't quite settled yet. "How are you, bub?" You ask softly.

He closes his eyes, leaning into your touch and you feel your heart both swell and break a little at how badly he was clearly needing your affection. "Good. Tired. Happy I can finally do this," he replies, leaning in to give you a short but needy kiss.

When he pulls back, he grabs your hand out of his hair and brings it up to his lips for a kiss; he waits a beat then reaches for Ash’s hand and kisses it as well. “Missed you too, bub,” you murmur with a smile.  

Ash looks at both of you, adoration in his eyes. You recognize that look on his face, the one that means he’s searching for the right words, trying to line up his emotions with his nervous tongue.  

You squeeze his other hand that’s resting on the back of the couch behind Cal, sensing he needs encouragement and he glances at you, grateful.

"We both missed you, Cal,” he starts, shaking his head as he decides to go all in. “I’ve missed you, is what I mean actually. Not being able to have you close the past few days has me realizing how much closer I would like you to be."

He cups Cal’s face, stroking gently with his thumb while he waits for his words to sink in and his nerves to settle. He inches forward and gently kisses him; it’s brief but Ash is purposeful in the way their lips slot together. When he gets bold and slips in his tongue, Cal visibly tenses and Ash pulls away gracefully, not wanting to push.

You stop yourself from obviously reacting but your heart feels like it might burst out of your chest. You've watched them both struggle to navigate their feelings for each other over the past four months and you couldn't be happier to see at least Ashton take a step towards clarity. You gently rest your palm on top of their intertwined hands and squeeze twice; a supportive one for Ash and a reassuring one for Cal.

Cal, dazed, turns to look at you briefly before his eyes briefly widen as if a light bulb has gone off. He grabs Ash’s neck to pull him in for another kiss, this one more desperate, with daring tongue and teeth.

You quietly pull your hand off theirs, not wanting to intrude on the intimacy of their moment. You can't deny that witnessing their hunger for each other has you feeling needy yourself but you know how important this exploration is for them, how important it is for the three of you, so you patiently sit and watch.

They eventually pull away from each other, panting. You see them exchange a look of some sort and then Calum is reaching for you; he kisses you feverishly while lifting you over his lap and fitting you in between him and Ash. His lips move down to your neck and suddenly Ashton's tongue is slowly tangling with yours; you can tell by his kiss he's still in his feelings and you do your best to match his energy, letting him know you're there for him.

You break apart, one of your hands in each of your boyfriends' hair. You all look back and forth between each other and quietly laugh, ecstatic to be alone together and ready to take advantage of this opportunity.

Ashton gives you another lingering kiss, massaging your breast over your sweater before pulling away and immediately drawing Calum in for a kiss; they sit up on their knees, making out over you and you watch how they lose themselves in it, yet keep their hands occupied in each other's hair, almost as if they're unsure if they should go further. They each let out a quiet groan and you note the tents forming in both of their pants; you decide to help them out and reach to palm their straining cocks while they kiss.

It surprises Ashton more than Cal; he stops their kiss to look down at you. He runs a hand over your face and smiles at you briefly before his mouth is back on Cal’s.

You turn toward Calum, gently lifting his shirt and kissing on his stomach. He lets out an appreciative moan for your touch and you take that cue to unzip his pants; he eagerly cooperates in helping you pull him out of his boxers.

“Oh god,” he moans against Ash’s mouth as you use yours to slick him up before stroking your hand over his now wet cock. You’ve missed him: his sounds, his taste, the way he feels against your skin, the way he appreciates you and the attention you give him. You press sloppy kisses to his length, grinning to yourself as precum beads at his tip, moving to kitten lick at it.

Ashton gently tugs on your hair, wanting attention for himself. You continue rubbing over his bulge, adding in a few squeezes, buying yourself a little more time with Calum. You finally pull off and look up at your boyfriends, still lost in each other, though Cal steals a glance down at you while Ash’s lips are pressed to his jaw. He gives you a little grin and pushes his hand under Ash’s shirt.

You notice Ash falter for a second in reaction to Cal touching him that way but he quickly recovers from his hesitation, moaning quietly and tucking a hand in your hair. You pull at the button on his pants, taking his cock out and slicking him up as well; you swirl your tongue around the head, enjoying the soft groans you hear coming from him, thrilled that you're not sure if they're being caused by you or Cal. You notice that his hand has left you and has begun unbuttoning Cal's shirt; Calum reaches down and yanks at the shoulder of your sweater, gesturing for you to take it off.

Ash quietly sighs at the loss of your mouth but is quickly distracted by kissing over Cal's now exposed chest; you pull your sweater over your head and tug your leggings down while you're at it, leaving you in your bra and panties. You give a small whimper of relief as you press your thighs together before reaching for the cocks on either side of you, shiny and red, begging for your attention. You stroke them both evenly and firmly, watching with pride as their expressions change in response to your actions.

Calum is the first to glance at you and notice your new state of undress. "Fuck, darlin', look at you," he rasps, leaning down to kiss you, sneaking his fingers inside your bra to play with a nipple. "Look so pretty under all these lights." Cal smiles against your lips as he feels Ash's hand stroke through his hair while he kisses you.

Ashton pulls his own shirt off and then his hand snakes between your legs, tracing over the front of the lacy, damp material. "Mmm, so wet for us, baby,” he teases lowly, dipping his fingers underneath your panties to tap lightly at your clit. “Think you’ll be able to keep quiet if we decide to do anything about it?” Cal groans as he sucks just below your earlobe; he loves how responsive you are when Ash taunts you like this.

Proving his point, you let out a whine before quickly biting your lip to fight back any other sounds that might come out. Ash chuckles, suddenly rubbing hard and fast at your clit just to see how much restraint you have. You screw your eyes shut, determined to remain silent. “You’re one to talk, most of the noises I’ve heard tonight have come from your mouth, love,” you point out once you catch your breath. You squeeze his cock and he breathes out a deep moan, proving your point.

Cal chuckles at the exchange and Ash shoots him a glare, pulling him back over to him. “Laugh it up,” he smirks, kissing his neck to distract from his hand traveling to thumb over Cal’s nipple; Cal loudly gasps, body rigidly jolting like he’s been struck by lightning. He grabs Ash’s face with both hands and muffles his moans with an intense kiss.

You turn your focus back to Ash’s cock, knowing Calum is already dealing with a lot of stimulation from the nipple play. You bob your mouth on him a couple times, just because you feel like it and then work on building a steady rhythm with your hand. You bite back another moan when Cal’s hand moves down to cover yours, essentially helping you jerk Ashton off.

Despite their obvious attraction, your boyfriends have never gone beyond the occasional kiss during sex with you so tonight had already been a big step for them. You look up and see Cal, Ash’s lips firmly attached to his neck, looking curious but confident as he watches his hand move with yours. Your eyes meet and you nod, understanding; you drop your hand from Ash’s cock, leaning back to watch Cal seamlessly take over, continuing with the rhythm you started.

Ashton immediately reacts to the difference in touch: the unknown grip, the new sensation of rough calluses running over his shaft, the unfamiliar feeling of a hand much larger than yours stroking him. “Cal,” he shakily breathes, pulling back to look at him.

“Is this alright?” Calum whispers, hoping the quietness of his voice will mask his nervousness.

Ash closes his eyes and leans his forehead against Cal’s, breathing deep, trying to ground himself, trying to process all the thoughts and emotions swirling in his brain right now.

“Don’t stop,” he states with certainty.

Cal’s hand swipes over the tip of Ashton’s cock, spreading around the precum he’s coaxed out, expertly keeping with the established rhythm. You watched Ash’s expression change from confusion to curiosity and now you see it switch to the confidence you’re used to seeing from him, especially in the bedroom; you see his hand fidgeting at his side moments before he clenches his jaw and reaches out to touch Calum’s cock. His strokes aren’t nearly as precise or measured as Cal’s are but his boyfriend doesn’t seem to mind; Cal lets out a throaty sigh of his name and you swear it’s the most erotic thing you’ve witnessed yet.

The men lock their mouths into another heated kiss while they continue to explore pleasuring each other; with them distracted, you slide yourself up and off the couch, moving down to the floor to give them some space and to give you some space to spread out and really enjoy the sight before you. You tug at your nipples like Cal would and slide your hand down your stomach and into your panties to swirl your clit like Ash would. You miss their touch but you’re more than happy to wait your turn for it this time.

Your eyes don’t leave them for a second as you make slow, careful work of pleasing yourself. You watch as Ash boldly tugs at Cal’s jeans, trying to pull them down more; he gets them just below his ass and his free hand grips it tightly. You let out a little moan and Ashton reaches his hand out for you, finally realizing you’re no longer between them.

They pull out of their own little world, searching for you. Calum spots you on the ground first. “What’re you doin’ down there, darlin’?” He teases, moving down next to you.

You press a quick kiss to his lips while he undoes your bra; he quickly moves his mouth down to your tits, lavishing your nipples with much needed attention. “Just enjoying the show,” you confess, looking directly at Ash.

Ash moves from the couch, grabbing a blanket to lay in front of the fireplace. He discards his jeans before beckoning the two of you over to join him. You both crawl over to the blanket and before you get settled, Ash helps your boyfriend out of the rest of his clothes. He wraps a hand around Calum’s cock; he pauses to look at you briefly and then back over to the beautiful man naked in front of him. His tongue darts out of his mouth and before any of you can process it, he’s licking the tip of Cal’s cock.

“Oh,” Cal moans, tucking his fingers into Ash’s hair. Ashton, feeling emboldened by that response, wraps his lips around the head, continuing to test the waters. “Yeah,” Cal mutters. “That… that’s good.”

Ash’s other hand pushes up your thigh and you interlace your fingers with his. You watch as he tests circling his tongue around the tip before pulling back to turn his attention to you. He pulls your panties down, kissing your thighs and up over your lips, letting his tongue spread them so he can tease your clit. He pulls up as Calum settles in next to him, wasting no time in getting his turn at flicking his tongue over your clit.

“Been so good for us, think it’s time we repay you,” Ash murmurs, kissing up to your hip. He watches you tangle your fingers in Cal’s hair and groans when you do the same to him. His hand travels down between your thighs and he pushes two fingers into you. “Cal’s tongue feel good for you?”

You bite your lip, trying to hold in a moan. “Yes, love.”

Cal continues working over your clit while his hand reaches up your body, giving attention to your nipples once again; Ashton’s fingers continue pumping inside you, mouth settled against your jaw, unceasingly affirming his and Cal’s affection for you.

“So patient tonight, love,” he whispers, mouthing along your neck, careful not to leave any marks. “Lettin’ me and Cal play while you’re over here so wet and needy.”

You take a deep breath, overwhelmed at all of the sudden attention. “Wanted it for you, could tell you both needed it,” you admit, digging your nails into Ash’s arm as Cal’s lips enclose your clit and start sucking. “Didn’t mind watching either.”

Ashton grins and plants a sloppy kiss on you; he pulls away to lean down and run his hand softly through Cal’s hair before pulling him up from between your legs to kiss him passionately. Both men groan at the realization that Ash can taste your arousal on Cal’s lips; Ashton takes it a step further and removes his hand from your pussy, sinking his drenched fingers into Calum’s mouth. Cal hollows his cheeks and sucks Ash’s fingers deep into his mouth, swirling his tongue around them, bobbing back and forth on them, wondering when he’ll get to give Ashton’s cock the same treatment.

For what feels like the hundredth time tonight, your jaw drops at the erotic sight before you and you reach out for one or both of your boyfriends to tend to you. Your head lolls back as you whine, “Please... babes… I need you so bad.”

Calum promptly pulls his mouth away with a lewd pop and lays on his side next to you. “Need you too, darlin’, you have no idea,” he murmurs as he grabs your hip, easily turning you to your side and slinging your leg over him. “Can’t remember the last time I went this long without having you.” He takes his cock in hand, running it up and down to coat it with your wetness before easing himself inside you, silencing your soft, relieved exhale with a kiss.

Cal softly rocks into you, sucking gently at your bottom lip, stroking your hair back with his hand; you feel Ashton lay down behind you and begin running his fingers down your back, quietly showing you his care while respecting the moment you and Cal are having, much like you respected their time together.

Your hand moves down to grab Cal’s ass, attempting to bring him even closer to you; you feel his muscles tensing and flexing under your hold as he pumps inside you and you bury your face in his chest to keep from crying out. You hear the slick sound of Ash’s hand working his cock as he watches you two together and you reach for him, wanting him near.

“I’m here, love,” he reassures you, nibbling at your ear, massaging over your breast. “You two look so fuckin’ good together, couldn’t help myself.” He extends his arm, reaching to squeeze Cal’s bicep.

Your hand searches behind you until it finds Ashton’s cock, throbbing against your ass; you give it a squeeze and he whimpers into your skin.

“Ash needin’ you too, baby?” Calum asks, voice scratchy with desire. “Know you’re gonna make him feel so good, just like you’re doin’ for me.” He gives you a couple more slow thrusts before he pulls out and helps you onto your other side where Ashton lays waiting.

You smile hazily at Ash as he lifts your leg over his hip and taps his cock against your clit. “So generous with your body, love,” he praises you, hissing as he slides into your wet heat. “Treatin’ us both so good tonight, thank you, baby.”

You caress his cheek as he starts slowly thrusting into you; you press your lips to his and you both lose yourselves in a slow, intimate kiss. Calum hangs back, watching you two communicate what you need to; when Ash breaks the kiss to moan into your mouth, Cal reaches over and begins to play with your breasts.

Ashton’s large hand grips your ass to pull you closer, getting a deeper angle that has you seeing stars. You twist your upper body toward Cal and he kisses you briefly before moving his lips back to your nipples. You push your hand down his body to find his cock, getting in a few strokes before he stops you. “Trust me, darlin’, I’m not needing any help right now.” His hand slips down your body to rub soft circles on your clit. “Let us focus on you.”

“Babes,” you sigh in the form of a soft moan, raspy as it leaves your lips. The sound is so sensual it causes Ash’s hips to lose rhythm and he lets go of your ass, giving a few shallow thrusts before pulling out.

“You gotta take Cal, baby, I need a minute,” he pants, clearly on the edge of losing it. He nuzzles his nose against yours, helping you turn back to your other boyfriend.

“Hey, darlin’,” Cal coos, grinning as he enters you again. You immediately pull him as close as possible.

“Want you both close,” you announce, looking over your shoulder at Ash. He scoots in against your back, kissing over your shoulders. You sigh, “Thank you.”

You give Ashton a short kiss before turning to press your face into Calum’s chest as he works his hips a little faster, harder. You feel a moan reverberating in Cal’s chest but it’s muffled when it spills from his lips; you look up to see him kissing Ash hungrily.

You moan, getting lost in your own world, letting Cal have your body, feeling his body on yours, Ashton’s body at your back, the strength in their frames as you lay between them.

Calum pulls out and turns you back towards Ash. Ashton is still breathing heavy and his kisses are needy, almost frantic, as he pushes into you. “I’m sorry, love, I’m s’close,” he chokes out. “Between you and Cal…”

You cut him off with a kiss. “Nothin’ to apologize for, love,” you murmur. “Want you to cum for me.”

His fingers dig in and hold on to your ass hard, pulling you tight against his body. “Cum for us, Ash,” Calum whispers as he slides his hand down to grip Ashton’s ass, causing Ash’s hips to stutter and jolt against you. You watch Ash pull on Cal’s neck so he can sink his teeth into Cal’s plump lower lip as he spills his cum into you, shuddering in your arms. You let out a loud moan and you all hold your breath waiting to see if it’s woken anyone up.

Once Ash comes down, he tenderly kisses you. “Love,” he murmurs. You give him a few more sweet kisses before you feel Calum’s eager fingers on your skin.

Ashton helps turn you around and his lips shower your shoulders and neck with affection as Cal sinks into you. He groans at the new sensation of Ash’s hot cum surrounding his cock, making you feel even more wet and warm to him.

Ash pushes his hand between your bodies and starts rubbing your clit in time with Cal’s thrusts. “It’s your turn, love, been so good and selfless tonight. Let Cal feel you cum,” he coaxes. “Look at you, look at Cal, look at how good you feel to our boyfriend.”

Cal’s eyes are screwed shut, his lip between his teeth as he tries to hold in any noises. “Calum,” you moan softly. His eyes open to find yours and you lean in for a feverish kiss, a kiss that becomes all tongue as you work your body against him.

Ashton mutters “Fuck” behind you and Cal lets out a guttural moan as you start to squeeze around his cock. You whine helplessly, “I’m cumming.”

“I feel that… let it go,” Cal encourages. You press your face into his chest to quiet yourself and without thinking you start biting and sucking his skin. Ash keeps rubbing your clit through your orgasm until you gently push his hand away, too sensitive to let him continue.

When Ash pulls his fingers up, it’s immediately noticeable they’re covered in both your arousal and his cum that leaked out of you. As soon as that registers to Calum, he grabs for Ash’s hand and takes his fingers into his mouth again, cleaning and sucking them like before. Once he’s done, Ashton takes the opportunity to explore a little more, pumping his fingers, treating Cal’s mouth like he does your pussy.

You shift yourself slightly back, leaning more into Ash so you can watch Calum come undone. You feel his hips continue to drive his cock into you as you watch the obscene way Ash fingers his mouth. You could almost cum again from the visual alone.

“Gonna cum for us, baby?” You breathe, out of your mind with desire. Cal glances at you with a question in his eyes but you answer it before he has a chance to ask. “It’s OK, I want you to.”

Ashton pulls his fingers from Cal’s mouth and pushes your bodies tighter together. He wraps his hand around the back of Cal’s neck, thumb caressing his cheek. “Need you to cum for us, handsome.” And that seems to do it for him. Cal’s hips falter and he clings to you, groaning deeply as he pumps you with cum. It’s the first time you’ve ever let him cum in you and it couldn’t feel more right. His body is tense for a few more moments and then he relaxes, first pressing his lips to yours and then to Ashton’s.

“You’re gonna make a mess,” he chuckles as he gently pulls out.

“We’ve got plenty we can clean her up with,” Ash shrugs.

Cal considers that point and sits up, lifting your thigh to watch in awe as his cum - at least he assumes it’s his - starts to leak out of you. “Incredible,” he murmurs, leaning in, pressing kisses along your thigh.

Ashton sits up to join him and his eyes ping pong back and forth between watching you drip and watching Cal’s reaction to it. He swirls his fingers in the cum that’s now pooling on your thigh. He pulls back a little, drawing your and Cal’s attention. You watch in shock as he pushes his fingers into his mouth, tasting all three of you together. He moans and repeats the action, only this time, pulling Calum in for a kiss, sharing the taste with him.

They break apart and the three of you smile at each other, basking in the intimacy of everything that’s just happened. Cal lays down next to you, stroking over your hair as Ash reaches for his shirt and cleans between your thighs. When he’s done, he curls up next to you and Cal kisses him and then you. “So lucky to have you both,” Cal murmurs.

“We’re the lucky ones,” Ash smiles, grabbing Cal’s hand, interlacing their fingers and letting them rest on your hip.

“I hate that you have to go to bed alone after this,” you pout, kissing on Calum’s jaw.

“I’ll be just fine, this was worth it. Thank you both,” he whispers sincerely. He squeezes Ash’s hand and kisses your forehead.

You’re practically asleep, warm and naked, feeling safe with your loves when they finally decide it’s time for bed. The guys quickly pull their clothes back on and help you into yours. Ash takes the blanket to the laundry room while you put out the fire and turn off the Christmas tree lights. You hold their hands as you navigate the dark house, pulling them up the stairs.

You stop at the guest room to say goodnight to Cal. “You should come to bed with us,” you whisper.

Calum smiles at you but shakes his head. “I think we’ve already pushed our luck quite a bit tonight, darlin’.” He looks to Ash for backup.

“Your sister got her perfect engagement, we pulled off the world’s quietest threesome… we should take the win,” Ashton chuckles quietly.

You pout but know they’re right. Cal pulls you into him by your hips and kisses you, slow but passionate. “Get to bed, darlin’.”

You walk to your room and stand in the doorway, waiting for Ashton. You smile as you watch your boyfriends flirt, easily the most comfortable they’ve ever been with each other. Ash actively reaches out to pull Cal into a kiss and you decide it’s a moment for them; you lay in bed and close your eyes, letting the memories of the evening wash over you, filling you with warmth and contentment.

Ashton quietly enters the room, unsure if you’re awake; you feel the bed shift as he climbs in and you turn over to gaze at him dreamily. “How you feelin’, love?” You ask, carefully, wanting to encourage him to share with you without seeming like you’re pressing.

He lays on his side and gives you a loving, appreciative look. “Happy. Excited. Very, very grateful to have someone like you by my side,” he reflects, gently tracing where your t-shirt has lifted to expose your hip. “I know it’s taken me a while to kind of figure out what I need from this relationship… even back when it was just us, honestly. You’ve just always been so patient and open with me and I hope I’ve made clear how much I appreciate that. And you.”

You scoot in closer, resting your head on his pillow, your face inches from his. “Even before Cal happened, I’ve only ever wanted you to be happy, Ash. With me, without me… with me with someone else…” You both giggle and you peck his lips sweetly. “I’m glad you’re finding your place in all this. And I’m happy to do whatever I can to help you find it.”

You know it takes a lot for Ashton to share with you like this and you savor it when it happens. You lay yourself on his chest and he strokes your hair as you quietly talk some more. You’re starting to drift off to sleep when you hear your phone buzz on the nightstand. You look up at Ash, concerned, before reaching for it.

“It’s Cal, asking if we’re awake?” You shrug, quickly responding that you are.

Seconds later, your bedroom door slowly opens and Calum carefully closes it behind him. Unlike the previous night, he doesn’t hesitate to help himself onto the bed and snuggle into your back, resting his hand on top of Ash’s on your hip.

“Couldn’t sleep. It just… I don’t know... didn’t feel right being without you both after that,” he explains, kissing your neck.

Light kisses and soft touches are exchanged between you all and then there’s a brief discussion about how long the cuddle session should be. You push to have Cal sleep in bed with you and Ash and though they’re reluctant at first, you eventually convince your boyfriends that the family will be none the wiser as long as you set an alarm to get him back to his room before everyone is up and around for Christmas morning.

Ashton untangles himself from you both to set both the alarm clock on the nightstand and the alarm on his phone, just to be safe. You turn towards Cal and peck his nose. “Feelin’ OK, bubba?”

He smiles, brushing your hair back. “Me? How are you? Tonight was kind of a lot. This week was kind of a lot, I feel like I haven’t checked in enough…”

“Bub, I’m so good,” you promise him, snuggling into his chest. “I’ve got you, I’ve got Ash… I get to wake up with you both on Christmas morning. It seems crazy to say but I actually think this all turned out perfectly.”

You feel Ash press himself tightly against your back, stretching his arms out to hug you both, sandwiching you between the two men. It’s sweet at first and then it quickly becomes silly and the three of you giggle quietly, giddy with exhaustion and affection.

“Plus, now everyone has an idea of what we're all like together so it won't come as too big of a shock when I post a picture of me kissing you both at midnight on New Year's Eve," you grin back and forth between the two.

Calum chuckles, "Oh is that the new plan?"

You wrap their arms tighter across you and contentedly say, "New year, new beginning. Let my sister have Christmas, New Year's will be ours."

Your words hang in the air as you all consider the weight of them. Ash breaks the silence by laughing to himself, causing both you and Cal to look at him with inquiry.

"Care to share?" You ask, using Cal's hand to playfully jab Ash's side, causing him to laugh more.

Ashton looks at you both and smirks, "I was just thinking… if tonight was Christmas sex at your family's house, the fuck are we gonna do to celebrate New Year's Eve at home?"

Calum snickers beside you, a naughty look on his face making you wonder what's running through his mind.

"Well," you start, playfully nipping under each of your boyfriends' jaws. "We've got a whole week to figure that out, now don't we?"

————-

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[honeymoonjin]

pairing: jimin x yoongi || genre: smut - nsfw 18+ word count: 6.7k warnings: dom!jimin, sub!yoongi, exhibitionism, BDSM, sub!jk feature very briefly, masochism, pain play, impact play, spanking, orgasm control/denial, untouched orgasm, frotting (i hope that’s right, i had to google it), crying during sex but in a fun liberating way u feel me, praise, mean-mugging, pet names

summary: jimin is used to keeping his professional bdsm life and his domestic married life separate, but when his husband yoongi comes in after a hard day at work, he wants to blur those lines. 

A/N: i wrote this for the lovely and talented @joonsbean​ so thank her for inspiring me to actually write something, also this is unedited bc i just sat down for 6 hours to write this and i am not willing to stare at it a moment longer

---

After a particularly resonant flick of the whip, Jimin eyes the way Jungkook's calves tense, left foot tapping the floor in an uneven stutter. He's starting to really feel it now.

He absentmindedly reaches his hand out to smooth the reddened flesh of Jungkook's ass, gently cooing at him quiet enough that his rapt audience won't hear. While the eager submissive was the biggest masochist of the regulars, and he was likely miles away from safewording, as a friend Jimin knew the long-haired boy had three hours of lectures the next day. He'd probably relish the sore ass and take it like a champ, but Jimin was soft on him, so he knew it was time to wrap it up.

Tilting his chin towards the dark, almost purplish streak just above Jungkook's thigh, he raises his voice to address the onlookers. "As you can see, when there's only one fall, like with a whip or a switch, the impact feels a lot sharper and concentrated. The thinner it is, that effect is only amplified. For that reason, I really recommend against switches and whips as a first-timer or if you're testing it out." Jimin can't help but beam at the way every person in the crowd listens to his spiel with clear enthusiasm. He got off on this kind of spotlight in a different way to the usual exhibitionism. Sharing his passion never failed to cheer him up. "Even though floggers can look more intense, as we saw when we were starting out, the impact is more distributed, more of a thud than a sting. Now," he breaks off, giving Jungkook's tender ass a final playful swat, making the boy jump, knuckles white as they clench the back of the chair he's bent over, "let's give our little prince a big round of applause for being so helpful for us today."

Jungkook positively keens at the cheers and wolf whistles that erupt from the crowd of at least thirty, his back arching and face buried between his meaty upper arms to hide the blush. Jimin gently massages the heated skin one last time, whispering instructions to head off to the side where his usual dom, Namjoon, was no doubt waiting.

The two had been playing for almost a year now, but Namjoon was still hesitant to venture into the heavier sadism that Jungkook sometimes needed, and the three of them had found a happy medium where Jungkook helped Jimin out with demonstrations, and Jimin indulged Jungkook's occasional desire for more intense pain play. As a thank you, Namjoon even helped Jimin out with his taxes just the month before, and Jimin quite often allowed them to reserve their favourite play rooms out of courtesy. A mutually beneficial arrangement, and it certainly came in handy to have Namjoon deal with aftercare while Jimin still had his demonstration to wind up.

Swinging the chair that Jungkook was previously bent over, Jimin takes a seat facing the audience and quirks a brow. "Alrighty, before we wrap up and I set you back into the wild, any questions?"

This line always had very different responses. Once, on a basic self-bondage informational session, there were so many single kinksters interested that there ended up being almost an hour of questioning, followed by an impromptu tutorial of safe handcuff use. More commonly, Jimin fielded a few confirming questions about what he'd shown, or something related but not overly relevant to the main topic at hand. More often than not, though, he'd find a string of people awkwardly hovering around him after the crowd had dissipated, too nervous to ask their question in front of the others.

This time, however, a single hand is thrust into the air, coming from the rough back third of the gathering.

"Yes?" Jimin calls out, squinting past the few stage lights and into the darkened crowd. He can't quite make out the face, but as soon as the rumbly voice begins to speak, he doesn't need the visual to recognise it.

"I was just wondering," his husband calls out, "could I speak to you in private?"

Jimin is so startled to hear Yoongi that for a moment he freezes on stage, totally silent. Never once had his husband of four years step a single foot into the dungeon Jimin worked at. Not intolerant of the kink world, Yoongi was simply paranoid about being recognised - a renowned human rights lawyer showing up to a BDSM dungeon dressed in leathers was a tabloid field day waiting to happen - and was happy for Jimin to continue working there whenever he wished.

Now, though, that unspoken rule that had kept these two worlds of Jimin's separate had shattered with a single question, and he felt cold shock drip down his spine.

"Uh," he begins eloquently, blinking himself out of it and plastering a collected smile on again, "of course! I'll be right with you once the show ends."

Jimin closes the session in a daze, answering a few questions about physical aftercare and the best materials and brands for impact play equipment on autopilot. It feels like an eternity passing in a single second, and before he's even processed it, the audience have moved on, and his husband is placing a gentle kiss of greeting on his temple, the same way he would when he'd get home from work in the evenings.

Mere minutes after he'd been in his usual dominant persona, Jimin feels himself melting like candy floss in Yoongi's arms, wrapping around him in their usual casual intimacy. "How are you here?" Jimin asks softly, snaking his arms under Yoongi's slate grey suit jacket, feeling the warmth radiate from his body, even through the expensive cotton shirt. "You're still dressed for work, baby."

Yoongi tenses slightly, gazing around the room. A few people are still milling around in small groups, chatting, but this close to the stage, him and Jimin are out of earshot. Still, he speaks lowly, dipping into the Daegu drawl that only makes an appearance when he's too stressed to think clearly. "I took a sick day. Or, I suppose, sick afternoon," he corrects, brows pinched together. "Had to get out. Can we- Is there a place we can have some privacy, please?"

Wide-eyed, Jimin jumps up out of Yoongi's embrace. "Oh, definitely, sorry!" He tamps down his rising concern by hooking his arm around Yoongi's, locking their fingers tightly as he leads his husband out of the auditorium and down a hall.

Being a matinee opening, the dungeon isn't too packed. Jimin prefers working the day shifts, likes that everything feels a little more personal and open. Nights, especially themed ones, get so busy that the gear and rooms have to be booked sometimes weeks in advance. Jimin does his fair share of DMing (they need all the help they can get) but doesn't like to run any scenes himself in the relative chaos.

But at 2pm on a Tuesday, it's easy enough to slip into one of the private rooms, switching the sign to occupied. There's no lock on the door for safety purposes, but nobody will dare enter while it's taken.

Yoongi steps in, eying the room with surprise. It's a relatively open space, with the walls lined with bookcases on one end, and a large wooden desk with some filing cabinets on the other. The desk itself has a comfortable-looking desk chair, and the opposite side has a single leather armchair like something from a therapist's office.

Although there is a wide window, it's covered with blinds, and Jimin knows from experience that it opens directly onto a brick wall for privacy. Instead, the room is lit from above with ceiling lights that are adjustable by a dimmer. Jimin leaves it bright.

Yoongi slowly makes his way to the black leather armchair, sitting down on it and leaning forward to inspect the desk. Absurdly large, it is mostly uncovered except for a diary with some unreadable scrawls on it, an ancient laptop that doesn't turn on, and a ruler. "Is this your office?" Yoongi asks incredulously.

Jimin cackles before he can help himself, moving forward to perch on the edge of the desk in front of Yoongi. "Does it look like I'd get anything done here? It's a play room, baby."

"Play room?" his husband replies dully, but Jimin doesn't miss the way his eyes are zoned in on Jimin's body, the intimidating leather jacket fixed with a tightly buckled belt around his waist, the skintight black jeans that barely contained his thighs, and perfectly glossed black dress shoes, his calling card amongst the typical stomping boots or knife-thin stilettos that most other doms wore. He always got dressed at the dungeon, leaving the house in unassuming sweatpants and a hoodie, so he gets no little satisfaction in relishing his husband's first reaction to the getup.

"That's right," he confirms with a smirk, crossing his legs. "We have five of them at the moment, though the sixth one is almost ready for use. This one is for your typical CEO or professor roleplays, we have a medical one, an interrogation one," Jimin rattles them off on his fingers, watching the way Yoongi's eyes bug out at each addition, "just a basic bedroom one for the vanilla stuff, one that actually looks like a dungeon, and the new one is gonna be an outdoor one."

"Outdoor?" Yoongi asks with a unsteady voice, before shaking his head to clear the thoughts. "Anyway, here is fine, I just- I had to get away from work, Minnie, and I... I was thinking..."

Jimin frowns in sympathy, leaning forward to stroke the back of Yoongi's hand. "I can leave early, I don't have anything else booked today, I was mostly planning on sticking to the social lounge-"

"I don't wanna go home," Yoongi slips in hurriedly, flipping his hand on the arm of the chair to link their fingers together tightly, though his eyes don't leave Jimin's for a second. "I know that you like to keep this job and our own love life separate, and I'm not going to force you, but- I came here because I want to submit to you."

Jimin's eyes widen, his breath catching in his chest. A switch at heart, Jimin had always found it a nice balance to indulge his dominant side here at work, and return home for Yoongi to take care of him, and it had always worked well. Even before they were serious, right in the early days of fucking like rabbits and pretending they weren't entirely smitten, Yoongi had always easily taken that more dominant role, though most of their sex to this day was far less kinky than the kind of demonstrations Jimin ran here. What Yoongi was asking wasn't just to be pampered and taken care of, but to be taken control of. And Jimin couldn't deny the ball of heat that was quickly building inside of him at that thought.

"Baby," he sighs, forcing himself to keep professionalism in mind, "I can't- We can't do anything here without you filling out some paperwork. The list of kinks and limits at the least. Not just as an employee, but as your husband, I gotta keep you safe."

"I know," Yoongi insists, and he frees his hand from Jimin's grip just long enough to plunge a hand into his pants pocket, pulling out a tightly folded piece of paper, handing it to Jimin.

Oddly enough, the folds are worn, not crisp, and as Jimin unfolds it, the text - printed in 12 point Times New Roman, because of course Yoongi would type it up with perfect formatting - has lost the freshly-printed gloss.

"I've been working up the courage to come here for months, Jimin-ah," Yoongi explains in a shy but determined voice. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to feel pressured at all either way, but please know that this is something that I've researched, and that I'm serious about." His solemn expression turns slightly cheeky, almost impish. "You literally make a living domming people, Minnie. I've been fantasising about it long before I even realised I wanted it."

A thrill of arousal runs through Jimin, straight between his legs, and he tightens his thighs, taking a settling breath. "Oh, baby," he coos, eyes dropping to read Yoongi's well-documented and organised list of kinks and limits, scanning over some surprising - and not-so-surprising - tidbits, "I'm gonna take such good care of you."

The air rushes out of Yoongi's lungs as he unconsciously scoots forward in the chair, leaning in. "Do we- Do we just start now, or do you need to go get some-" he breaks off, blushing violently, "some equipment?"

Jimin breaks into a broad smile, eyes crinkling as he steps forward, steps close, ringed fingers slipping into Yoongi's hair on either side, tipping his husband's face up as his chin rests on Jimin's lower abdomen. "Oh, my big boy wants to play with some toys, huh?" Jimin can feel when Yoongi swallows hard, his eyes not glossy with subspace, instead keen and sharp with pointed desire. "Don't worry, baby, this room isn't as empty as you think."

When he steps away, dropping all contact, Yoongi slumps like a puppet with cut strings, catching himself before he slips off the chair, instead lying back against it, chest heaving beneath the starch white of his dress shirt.

Jimin makes his way first to the bookshelves, looking back over his shoulder to catch Yoongi's reaction as he finds a notch in the framing and pulls, revealing that they aren't real shelves at all, simply disguised cabinets that swing open to reveal the hidden delights inside. The three closest to the desk are filled with clothes of all sizes, office-wear spanning pencil skirts to neckties to blazers, a few frumpy pieces that remind Jimin of dorky professors, even some school uniforms, cut far shorter than regulation.

With a grin, Jimin pulls at a pleated plaid skirt, smirking at Yoongi. "In the mood for dress-up, baby? Show off those pretty legs of yours."

Yoongi, still with some wits about him, narrows his eyes with a mock scowl, his disapproval clear.

Jimin sighs out wistfully, but lets it go. "Another time, maybe." Ignoring Yoongi's light scoff, he nudges the doors shut with his foot one at a time and moves to the last one, where the facade of stacked books hides a series of hooks nailed into the back wall.

Jimin doesn't need to even face Yoongi to know he's squirming in his chair - the squeaking leather gives it away. Strung up are floggers, whips, switches, and neatly coiled bundles of rope, catalogued by length. His husband had expressed interest in both impact play and bondage, several different types of both, and so it's no surprise that the sight of those fantasies had Yoongi breathing heavily. He leaves that cupboard open.

"There are so many things we could play with in here, baby," Jimin assures, patting the folded piece of paper that he'd slipped into his own pocket, "and your list was pretty extensive, so before we get started, any particular preference?"

Yoongi swallows again, hair slightly rucked up from Jimin's hands. Jimin can't wait to see it totally mussed up, see his husband in ruins, see him love it. With wary eyes on Jimin as he moves behind the desk towards the filing cabinets, Yoongi nods. "The- what you were doing with that guy on stage. I- I want that."

Jimin blinks, turning his back to his husband to mask his surprise, fingers hooking the edge of the top drawer of one of the cabinets, each one labelled alphabetically. "Is that so? We did a lot on that stage, baby, I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific."

Yoongi is silent for a moment, his breathing the only sound as Jimin carefully slides the drawer open, revealing neatly sectioned rows of anal plugs. He grins. A for Anal, B for Bondage, C for Chastity. The designers really took their job seriously, and he could appreciate the humour in it.

He lets Yoongi take his time, knowing that saying something is often the hardest part. Instead, he notes the location of the drawer marked P, and turns back to his husband.

Looking incredibly small, tucked up on the intentionally oversized armchair, Yoongi clears his throat, making shy eye contact. "The paddles," he says in a high tone, like he's unsure he's even using the correct word, "I want you to- to hit me with them like you did him."

"You want me to spank that pretty little ass of yours?" Jimin confirms, loving the way his husband goes bright pink.

"Y-yeah," he replies breathily, dropping his gaze. "Will you?"

Despite the raging fire inside him, Jimin's heart leaps fondly, so in love with his husband and all his endearing mannerisms. "Of course, baby. But let's start slow, hm? Gotta make your first time special, don't we?"

Yoongi laughs, then, full of air and barely audible, his lips lilting in a small smile that still shows his teeth.

Jimin tilts his head to the side. "What?"

With a tiny head shake, Yoongi contains his grin. "I just really wanna kiss you right now."

Jimin is moving before he's even finished speaking, his hip barely missing the corner of the desk in his haste to join his husband, knees straddling his lap without hesitation, holding those soft cheeks in both hands as he presses his lips firmly against Yoongi's, eyes fluttering shut.

Their parting kiss before Yoongi left for work this morning feels too long ago, and for a moment their new arrangement is forgotten as they fall into their usual motions, years of marriage making every inch of Yoongi's lips feel familiar, the bump of their noses and brush of eyelashes like home even in such a different environment.

With no rush, Jimin lets himself indulge in it, burying one hand in Yoongi's hair, carding through the choppy black locks that are no longer gelled back. His other hand slides down Yoongi's jaw, neck, and chest, tugging at the knot of his tie to loosen it. He makes no effort to be gentle, and his husband just groans into Jimin's mouth at the rough treatment.

It's all too easy to shift into his dom space, a practiced scale of gradually increasing intensity. It begins with the tie, but soon enough Jimin punctuates their ongoing kiss with hard sucks and quick nips of teeth, Yoongi tipping his chin up to drown in it more. Testing the waters, Jimin rocks his hips once against Yoongi's taut crotch and yanks once on a fistful of hair, baring the pale expanse of Yoongi's neck.

The debauched lawyer bucks beneath him, hands flying to grip tightly at Jimin's waist. His long, beautiful fingers and wide palm have always made Jimin feel weak at the knees, and feeling them grasp at him not in command but in desperation feels addictive.

"You like that?" he breathes, voice low enough to almost growl, and Yoongi shivers as he nods his affirmation. "Good," Jimin praises, and dives down, teeth grazing down the sensitive skin of Yoongi's throat, skimming until he feels the throb of his pulse point. Yoongi can't risk marks at work, certainly not in court, but it's a Friday, and Jimin is feeling more possessive than usual. He nips lightly but laps at the skin thoroughly, knowing the best he can get away with is a reddened bite mark which would fade over the weekend. The hickies were best saved for other areas, he knew.

Yoongi is panting like a horse now, air punched through his nostrils as he bites down hard on his own swollen lip. Jimin knows the effect he has on his subs, and grins against the glistening wet skin of Yoongi's neck at the hardness that has grown between his legs. "Wuh-want more, Minnie," he gasps out, "need more."

Jimin hums, making sure Yoongi can feel the vibrations in the hollow of his throat, sliding up to press kisses to that hyper-sensitive place just behind Yoongi's ear that always made him tremble.

It doesn't disappoint, Yoongi letting out a shaky breath as his arms wrap around Jimin's waist, trying to bring him closer.

Jimin doesn't let him, though, pulling back to sit on his haunches, running a thumb down Yoongi's reddened lower lip to watch the way it springs back into place. Yoongi sits still, eyes cloudy as he lets his dom for the night play with him. The thought pleases Jimin; that Yoongi truly was wanting this, truly was willing to give up control to him.

He spares a glance down between his own thighs, where the cool grey of Yoongi's slacks makes no attempt at hiding his bulging erection. Pouting in sympathy, Jimin reaches out with a single finger to trace the outline, watching the muscles in his husband's thighs tense as he fights to stay still. "So hard already, baby," Jimin drawls, "do you think that pretty little cock of yours can wait its turn while I spank you, hm? Can it be patient for me?"

Yoongi flushes, whining Jimin's name under his breath. "Yes," he admits, huffing out a reluctant sigh.

"Yes what?"

Yoongi grimaces at Jimin, but the dom just raises an expectant brow. "Yes, my- my pretty little cock can be patient for you," Yoongi murmurs in the quietest voice he can manage, cheeks red hot.

"That's my boy," Jimin beams, rewarding his husband by popping the button and pulling down the zip on the fly of Yoongi's slacks, releasing some of the pressure. Yoongi groans, deep in his throat, but his relief is quickly thwarted once Jimin stands up off him.

Making his way back to the filing cabinets, Jimin quickly slides open the one labeled P. Splayed out neatly lie five different paddles. Three are plastic, one a basic rounded shape, another that same shape only with several small holes drilled through for a sharper impact, and a final one a rectangular shape. The next one is hard wood, heavy, Jimin recalls, and the one tucked at the back is a softly upholstered pleather one for beginners. Then there's the ruler, of course, though that's a little cheesy for the current mood.

He assesses the five inside at his leisure, knowing every moment of anticipation will feel like an eternity to his husband, and finally makes a choice. He slides the cabinet drawer closed.

Yoongi makes a wounded, cut-off noise in his throat, but Jimin sends him a firm gaze.

"I'll give you what you want, baby," Jimin assures, wetting his lips, "but first I want to feel you myself. Pants and underwear off, jacket off, I want you bent over my desk."

Yoongi sucks in a sudden breath, but stands up on wobbly legs and slips off his blazer. It's probably too expensive to be dumping it on the chair behind him, but Yoongi clearly isn't worried about that as he kicks off his shoes and pants too, only hesitating once his fingers are hooked on the elastic waistband of his underwear.

"Off," Jimin demands harshly, "I won't ask again."

This time Yoongi obeys without delay, and Jimin takes great pleasure in watching the way his husband's cock leaps up once it's freed, pretty and pink and wetter than he'd ever seen it before. Though Yoongi always tended to top, his cock was smaller - more slender, at least - than Jimin's, but he loved it, loved that a hasty three fingers was enough prep on those times that they just couldn't wait to devour each other.

Now, though, with mussed hair and wrinkled shirt, naked from the waist down bar a pair of black ankle socks, Jimin's husband looked positively adorable in the most erotic way, and Jimin wanted nothing more than to make him wait, make him work to cum.

When Yoongi folds himself over the desk, side-on to Jimin to make use of the length of the surface, his hands awkwardly hover on either side of him, keeping himself slightly upright still. The back of his shirt is just long enough to cover the tops of his cheeks, and the sight of his rounded ass and dripping cock peeking through is enough to make Jimin actively restrain himself, taking a moment to breathe and appreciate this opportunity.

He steps forward, planting a hand between Yoongi's shoulder blades and presses, slow enough that Yoongi has time to move his face to the side to avoid banging his chin, but firm enough that there's no resisting. Yoongi goes willingly, however, his back arching as the table is just lower than his hips. Like this, no fabric obstructs Jimin's view, and he hums, pleased. "Good boy."

Yoongi trembles, his legs tight together and knees shaking just slightly. He's nervous at the vulnerable position, but no less aroused for it.

With the tip of his shoe, Jimin guides Yoongi's legs apart, until his socked feet are wider than his hips, until he needs to lean his weight onto the desktop to keep stable.

"That's it," Jimin praises, "my perfect little slut. So obedient."

Yoongi's right knee buckles at the exact moment that he hears the pet name, and Jimin grins. The piece of paper in his pocket had a long list of suggestions for names he was okay being called, and the dom couldn't resist picking out his favourite. The perfect mix of praise and degradation, it flowed so well on his tongue; the smooth, melodic sounds punctuated by the sharp hit of the t. Slut. Jimin muffles a groan, pressing on his own straining erection.

Unable to help himself, he reaches out, both hands grabbing at the plush ass cheeks in front of him, spreading them to watch the way Yoongi clenches at the sudden exposure. This must be what he looks like when they play together, Jimin thinks. He wonders if Yoongi is enjoying the change in pace just as much as he is.

"I'm going to start you off with just my hands, baby," he introduces, running a palm under the hem of his shirt and up Yoongi's spine to watch the way he shivers. "I'm sure you're well aware of the traffic light system, hm? Tell me what the colours mean."

Yoongi shifts, fingers curling uselessly against the tabletop as his eyes remain squeezed shut. "Red means stop, yellow means slow down, green means go," he recites, the exact phrasing off the dungeon's website, and Jimin bends down to press a single soft kiss on the top of Yoongi's ass as a reward, making him twitch violently. "Fuck, Jimin-ah," he sighs, arching his back even more.

Jimin grins. "Good. I'm adding another colour, just for you," he explains. "Gold. Can you guess what gold means?"

Yoongi swallows, shifts his weight, and shakes his head.

Jimin digs his fingers into the flesh of Yoongi's ass, watching them pillow in roughly. "Gold means more. Gold means harder. Okay?"

Yoongi nods quickly, hair even more tangled with every movement.

"Good boy," Jimin croons, and without further comment his left hand rises and comes down in a single strike.

Yoongi seizes up for a second at the shock of it, but there's no power behind the hit, and his brain realises a moment later that no pain follows the loud noise. He huffs in need and pushes his hips back, silently asking for more. "Gold, g-gold," he mutters offbeat, already panting.

Jimin hums in pleasure, and swats his right cheek this time, feeling a sting bloom across his palm. Still not nearly the hardest he can go, it's clearly not enough for Yoongi, as he remains stoic, waiting for more.

The next time, Jimin lets his hand really catch the air on the way down, but he doesn't stop at one hit, raining down three in quick succession on the same spot. Yoongi breathes through the first impact, freezes in surprise at the second one, and an unbidden moan falls out of his mouth at the third.

"Mm, that's better, isn't it?" Jimin muses rhetorically, soothing the slightly pinked patch of skin with his warmed hand. "Just need a bit more pain to let go."

"Please," Yoongi breathes, "jus' keep going."

"Bossy," Jimin teases, "I'm meant to be giving you orders, baby. If you don't quit it, I might not give you what you want at all."

"Sorry, I'm sorry, ple-please hit me again," Yoongi begs mindlessly, and Jimin can't help but indulge him, his husband sounding so pretty when he whines.

When he returns to spanking again, it's in earnest. Instead of pausing to check in each time, he relies on his husband's telling cues to moderate it, as well as the sweet pleas of gold, gold every time Jimin spent too long between swats.

Much like the rest of him, Yoongi's ass blooms candied pink, and with every strike, Jimin can't help but venture further, wanting to colour him in all over. The spanks that fall on Yoongi's upper thighs make him restless, squirming and moaning wordlessly. The ones that land on the fatty portion of his ass have him sighing happily, crooked smile slicked in drool against the wood of the desk.

The two of them slip into an unspoken rhythm for a while, alternating these hits on either side, of varying number and intensity, until Yoongi has almost fallen into a trance of sorts, mouth hanging open slackly as a whine or moan or whimper is falling out of his mouth with every single thwack.

Jimin's arm begins to tire, and just as he pauses to shake out the joints, Yoongi pants a, "wait, wait," making him pause.

It takes a moment for Yoongi to catch his breath, but Jimin waits patiently, scanning his ass and thighs for any sign of something that could be causing undue comfort, but he comes up short. With a weak, slurred voice, Yoongi lets out a sob. "I wanna use the paddle, Minnie, I wanna feel it," he pleads, "I've h-had enough of the spanking."

Jimin furrows his brows in concern, massaging out the sore tissue as Yoongi goes lax beneath him. "If you've had enough, baby, we should stop. I don't wanna push you."

Yoongi actually tears up, biting hard on his lip as he shakes his head. "Please, Minnie, just a few times, I just need it to be- to be heavy. I don't know, but I need it. Gold, please gold."

"Okay," Jimin is agreeing softly, squatting down to press reassuring kisses against the hot flesh, feeling his own palm stinging. He leaves only to slide open the drawer of paddles, selecting the wooden one. He knew from subspace himself that sometimes those base, thoughtless needs stemmed from something deeper, from an emotional need tangled up daily life. Once, in the early days of doing demonstrations at the dungeon, Jimin had gotten stage fright and done such a poor job of a fingering tutorial that the sweet sub he was working on didn't even cum. He'd come home to Yoongi bawling in humiliation, and his husband had lain him down on their bed and made him cum so many times that he couldn't even think, couldn't move a single limb. Now, Jimin had no doubt that the need to feel a heavy impact had something to do with the reason Yoongi had taken an uncharacteristic sick day.

Talking about it wouldn't help, would only break the escapism of the scene, so Jimin just runs the face of the wooden paddle over Yoongi's sore ass, letting him grow accustomed to the feel and texture. "Just two hits," Jimin declares, "one on each cheek. No more. Focus on them, baby. Eyes closed, just feel them."

He waits until Yoongi settles, spreading his legs wider with wiggling toes, and catching his breath, one hand pressed over his teary eyes.

Jimin swings the paddle backwards, not up, and lets it impact on Yoongi's left cheek first, a wet, strangled moan leaving his husband's mouth at the thuddy feel. The wooden paddle didn't hurt like spanking or a lighter paddle. It was about the weighty feel of it hitting your skin, a light hit so as not to cause bruising.

A line of tension disappears between Yoongi's clothed shoulders, the sweaty fabric clinging to his back. He's calmed down, fully, waiting patiently for the second strike. The second Jimin rains that final hit, he drops the paddle onto the carpeted floor, exhausted himself, and moves around to the side of the desk, bending awkwardly over it to press his mouth to Yoongi's, who makes a muffled sound of surprise before responding in turn.

Jimin's hand is curled around the nape of his husband's neck, keeping him close as tears mingle with spit, their kiss salty and desperate.

He feels a vibration between them before he hears anything, has to focus hard to hear Yoongi as he chants over and over like a prayer, thanking Jimin.

He slows the kiss after a sweet eternity, letting their heartbeats return to normal. Jimin's own eyes sting, love and concern a potent combination, but as the adrenaline settles back to normal, Yoongi calms down too, and seems to come back to himself.

He pulls away to let out a tired breath, laughing voicelessly. "Fuck," Yoongi curses with eyes still closed in bliss. "I get it now."

Jimin beams, a chuckle leaving his own lips as he sees the peace on his husband's face. After a moment, though, a frown appears as Yoongi furrows his brows. "What is it?"

"My dick hurts," Yoongi whines, managing to get his elbows under him to lift his chest from the table, head in his hands.

Jimin startles, standing bolt upright as he rushes down to look for any injury. "Oh shit, did I hit it?"

The laugh returns, bubbling out of Yoongi as he turns himself with great effort onto his back, chest still rising and falling dramatically. "No, Jimin-ah, don't worry," he assures, wincing when his ass-cheeks meet the unforgiving surface of the desk. "But if I don't cum soon, I think it's gonna explode."

Jimin's mouth falls open, relief and disbelief flooding his veins equally as he's faced with Yoongi's cock, so flushed with blood it's almost purple in places. "I- Okay, do you- do you want me to get you off, or do you want to keep playing?"

Yoongi looks at him like he's insane. "I mean... Preferably both, Minnie."

After the moment of scare, it takes surprisingly little time before that thrum of arousal is dialed up again, and Jimin smirks, running his hands up and down Yoongi's inner thighs to watch the way he naturally and obediently parts them for him.

"Do you know what I realised, baby?" Jimin coos, stubbornly avoiding the weeping cock in front of him. Yoongi mutters a weak response. "I realised that so far I've been doing all the work so far, haven't I? That isn't really fair, wouldn't you agree?"

Wary, Yoongi pauses and nods, the blur of tears long since replaced by the haze of arousal, of subspace beginning to creep in once more.

"I'm glad we're on the same page," Jimin drawls, flattening a hand heavy on the soft flesh just above Yoongi's cock, making the man moan and wriggle to escape the pressure. "So I think, if you want to get off, you should put a little work in yourself. Make some effort, baby."

Yoongi takes a few heaving breaths, before slowly, so carefully, lowering his hand down to wrap around the base of his cock, immediately groaning at the touch. He's leaked so much precum that it takes a single shaky stroke to coat the sensitive skin, and a relieved smile spreads over his face at the thought that he's finally going to get off.

But where's the fun in that?

"Don't you think you're being a little selfish?" Jimin spits stiffly, and flicks once at the very tip of Yoongi's dick.

His husband practically howls, curling up with a depraved cry. "Wha-at?" he sobs, hand trembling as it hovers on his thigh, fighting his desire. "What do you want, Minnie?"

"How sweet of you to ask," Jimin praises in a sugar-sweet voice, reaching down to unzip his own jeans. "Those hands are big enough to fit the both of us, aren't they?"

Blearily, Yoongi looks down as Jimin slips his aching cock out from his pants, fitting himself between Yoongi's spread legs so that their bobbing lengths bump together.

Even that contact is enough to make Yoongi hiss, but he's desperate and so he nods quickly, fingers trembling as they grab Jimin's cock, pinning them together in his grip. He pauses, panting as he stares up at Jimin for permission.

Jimin smiles placidly, bending forward to press a single chaste kiss to his husband's lips. "I don't want you cumming before I do, okay?" he asks sweetly, though the threat is thinly veiled.

Using the strength of his abdomen to lift his upper half off the desk, Yoongi stabilises himself with an elbow while his other hand jerks the two of them off together, thumb running over the sensitive heads, paying extra attention to Jimin's.

"That's it," Jimin groans, biting hard on his tongue. Truth be told, it was hard enough for him to hold back, feeling threads of an orgasm already knitting together in his stomach. But he's not willing to let go of the pretty sight of Yoongi just yet, so debauched and far gone as he shivers with every stroke, torn between making Jimin cum and preventing his own climax.

After mere minutes, Yoongi has collapsed back onto the desk, ankles curled around Jimin's back to hold him close, hand shaking violently.

"Please," he begs occasionally, but the moment his hand slows down to give himself a break, Jimin pinches his inner thigh in warning. They both knew marks there were allowed.

It's not until Yoongi is quite literally biting down on his own knuckles to hold back an orgasm that Jimin can't keep himself from cumming anymore.

Greedily, he runs his hands over Yoongi's sides, skimming the shirt up to put his chest on display, flicking at the delicate pink nipples. Jimin cums so hard he almost buckles forward onto Yoongi, spurting white all over Yoongi's hand and cock.

He holds himself up shakily, spouting praises to Yoongi as the wave of pleasure rushes through him, making his toes tingle and his fingers curl, scratches down Yoongi's chest and stomach.

"Oh, god, I'm gonna- Mi-Minnie, can I cum, oh fuh-fuck, no!"

One last liberty taken in his time as Yoongi's dom, Jimin pulls himself away, pinning Yoongi's wrists to the table and watching as his cock, dripping white, bobs desperately in the air, seeking friction.

Yoongi babbles pleas and curses, hips jerking, but it only takes Jimin leaning down, blowing a single thin stream of cool air over Yoongi's cock for Yoongi's thighs to tense. He cums, untouched, shuddering and seizing on the table as Jimin takes mercy and wraps his hand around him to stroke him through it.

"Look at you," Jimin croons in wonder, watching cum spill between his fingers, the two of them mixed together indistinguishably. "Baby, you look perfect like this. Please tell me you want to do that again."

Yoongi makes a strangled, guttural noise as he goes limp on the table, legs dangling off the edge. "Fuck, not right away, you demon," he protests grumpily, "now come kiss me again."

With a fond beam, heart so full with love and post-orgasm endorphins that he can barely handle it, Jimin tugs him up by his forearms and joins their mouths together, Yoongi's one dry hand tangling in his hair as he smiles into the kiss.

It takes only a few moments, however, for the sticky reality to sink in, and soon enough Yoongi is parting, letting his forehead rest against Jimin's. "I don't suppose there are any wet wipes in here?" he ventures.

Jimin chuckles, leaning back. "Cleaning materials in the desk drawers," he divulges.

With crazy sex hair and wide eyes, Yoongi makes quite the picture. "Fuck, I love this place. Let's try the interrogation one next time, yeah?"

[moon-light-jukebox]

“All you have to do is ask.” Chapter 2 - [Reid x Reader]

previous chapter // main page // next chapter

Summary: After the conversation in Nebraska, there’s some tension between our favorite genius and Reader. A peace offering, a rainstorm, and some unexpected questions should clear that right up.

Pairing: Spencer Reid / (Female) Reader

Rating: Mature (not all chapters contain smut, those that do will be marked)

Category: Smut, fluff, and a bit of angst.

Word Count: 2.3k for Chapter 2 

Content Warning: Some slight angst for Chapter 2

A/n: I hope y’all are liking this so far! No smut in this chapter, but I more than make up for it in chapter 3. Promise. 

IMPORTANT ADDITIONAL NOTE: It was brought to my attention that the angst in this chapter appears to be something it is not. I mean, I know how the story ends, so I didn’t see it that way. But it’s a valid concern. I address it in chapter 6, but I’ve made edits to chapter 3 to address it a bit too. Reader is afraid to trust anyone, that is all. I promise. 

y/n = your name

y/l/n = your last name

italicized text are Reader’s inner thoughts.

-- Chapter 2: I fucking beg your goddamn pardon? --

Once we pinned down the gender of the unsub, it wasn’t hard to help the locals close the case. Anna Marie Wilcox, 29. A pretty blonde girl with haunted eyes, betrayed by every man in her life. She just wanted to take her power back.

Cool motive; still murder.

The flight back to Quantico was quiet. Hotch spoke with Rossi before take-off, telling us that he was flying back from San Francisco after visiting his daughter and grandson and that he would see us on Monday. After that, everyone seemed to slip into their own world. This wasn't uncommon. After working day and night to save lives, digging your way into the darkest corners of a murderer’s mind, you needed to decompress a bit.

JJ was asleep in the back of the cabin, Emily sitting beside her while she reviewed some files. Hotch was writing at the small table, Morgan sitting opposite him, eyes closed while he listened to whatever played through his headphones.

And I was on the couch with Dr. Spencer Reid. I was very surprised when he boarded the jet and made a beeline towards where I was sitting without hesitation. He hadn't spoken to me or even looked at me for longer than 5 seconds since our talk at the precinct. I could tell my blunt words had an effect on him, which wasn't surprising to me. I tried not to stereotype people, I knew better than anyone else how wrong those stereotypes could be; but, if I ever had to guess a person I thought would be a submissive, I’d guess Spencer Reid.

My back was angled on the couch, pressing into the corner where the armrest met the backrest, my legs crossed in front of me. I had my phone in my head, swiping mindlessly on a puzzle game that didn't require any cell phone signal to play. I always found myself doing that after a case, it calmed me.

Dr. Reid was pretending to read.

He’s not even being convincing, I thought, trying to keep my face neutral. You read 20,000 words a minute, baby. You’ve been staring at that page for 5 minutes. Unable to resist, I shifted in my seat. I slowly uncrossed my legs, the small slit in the side of my skirt becoming visible at the movement.

Did I wear this skirt on purpose? Yes, yes, I did.

I let out a soft sigh before re-crossing my legs. I watched him out of the corner of my eye the entire time. His eyes followed my movements, his breath hitching slightly. He moved his gaze up my body until he got to my eyes, which he was surprised to find were on him. He cleared his throat before going back to his book, little splotches of red on his cheeks.

I smirked. All you have to do is ask, Dr. Reid.

--

Nothing happened until Thursday the following week. I had all but given up hope that Spencer Reid would finally cave and come to me. Shame, I thought. He would look so pretty when he begged.

The unit's caseload had been lighter than normal, with no cases that required us to travel. We did some consulting and wrote up some preliminary profiles for the law enforcement agencies that asked for our help. We had been traveling so much over the past few months, I think Hotch was just trying to give us a break.

A loud clap of thunder broke the silence of the bullpen. Then it seemed as if the sky opened up a second later, the heavy rain falling like a curtain outside the windows.

“That’s dramatic,” Emily Prentiss commented.

Morgan made a sound of agreement before turning his head to look at Reid. “Have fun walking to the train station in that, pretty boy.” His face split into a smile as Spencer shot him a glare. JJ, Emily, and I all laughed at their exchange. His eyes didn’t go to JJ or Emily though, those caramel brown eyes swung in my direction.

At the end of the workday, Garcia was the first out the door. She walked past the bullpen and gave a big wave. “Goodbye, my darlings. I will see you in the morning…unless there is a terrible murder!”

The team smiled and returned her goodbye. Derek was out of his seat in a flash, trailing after her. I couldn’t help but wonder about the two of them sometimes.

“Bye Spence,” I heard JJ say as she passed the boy wonder’s desk. “Try not to drown out there.” Emily laughed as she walked up beside JJ, standing just a little too close. I wondered about them too, if I’m honest.

When it was just me and the object of my attention left, I got my bag and approached his desk. “Hey, Doc.”

He didn’t look up, making it seem like putting files and papers into his messenger bag required his full attention. “Hi, y/l/n.”

Well, this wouldn’t do at all. “It’s still pouring outside. Do you need a ride? I’d hate for you to have to walk a block in this storm.”

“I’ll manage,” he muttered, still not meeting my eyes.

I let out a sigh. “Spencer.” His eyes finally raised to meet mine. “I’m sorry if I stepped over the line in Nebraska. It was unprofessional. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. That wasn’t my intention.” He opened his mouth to interrupt, but I continued. “I hope that we can move past this, I really miss my friend.”

He took a moment to adjust his glasses. He never wore them anymore, and I have to admit that my heart sputtered a bit when I saw him in them this morning. “We were friends before?” He chuckled slightly, earning a smile for me. I’d only been with the BAU for 7 months, and while I was friendly with my co-workers, Spencer and I had never had a particularly close bond.

“I like to think so,” was my reply, giving him a small smile. “And if we weren’t before, I hope we can be one day.” With one final look in those eyes, I turned. “Have a good night, Doc.”

I was halfway to the elevators when I heard him. “Y/n!” I turned to see him hurrying towards me. He smiled at me; and it was his real smile, not the polite smile he gave others. It was a full-blown smile that lit his whole face up. My stomach fluttered. “If you don’t mind, I’d actually like a ride. If you’re still willing?”

Still so nervous, even now. “Of course, pretty boy,” Morgan’s nickname for him slipping from my lips without a thought. “Follow me.”

It wasn’t the thing I had been hoping all week that he’d ask me, but it was a start.

--

The drive to Spencer’s apartment took longer than it should have. I was driving slower because of the storm; I was also driving slower because other drivers weren’t driving slowly.

"This type of rain is so heavy it cuts the visibility more than the average storm," the good doctor said. "Under normal precipitation, it's advised that you reduce your speed by at least 10 miles to account for less traction."

“Huh,” I responded, glancing down at my speedometer.

He cleared his throat. “S-sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”

I risked a quick glance at him to see him shifting in his seat. “Do what, Doc?”

“Ramble,” Spencer said softly. “I ramble when I’m nervous, and I’m trying really hard not to be nervous.”

My heart ached for him in that moment. This brilliant, brilliant, man, the smartest and kindest person in any room, was nervous about talking to me. My right hand lifted from the steering wheel before I could think better of it, touching his arm lightly. “Please don’t be nervous around me, Spencer.” His whole body stiffened at my touch. “Shit! I’m sorry. I forgot you don’t like to be touch.” I blew out a frustrated breath. “I just keep fucking this up, don’t I?” My chuckle was sad, and a little bit bitter.

“It’s not that,” he said quickly. “I was just surprised. I don’t…I don’t mind if you touch me.”

I didn’t try to hide the shock on my face. “You don’t, huh?”

I swear I could almost hear the blush in his voice. “I d-didn’t mean it like t-.”

“Spence,” I cut him off. “I know. I was just teasing.”

He let out a small chuckle at that. "Oh. Right." There was a beat of silence before he spoke again. "You know, you've never called me Spence before." I simply nodded in agreement. He was right, I hadn't. I hadn't even meant to do it then. He continued on. “Actually, you only call me Spencer when the conversation is serious. Other than that it’s always Doc…or occasionally Reid.” The chuckle that left him put a smile on my face.

“You’re right, Doc.” I glanced over at him and smiled. “Tell you what, I don’t want you to be nervous around me. At all. So, I’m giving you blanket consent right now.” I really hoped I knew what I was doing. “You can ask me any question you want. You can tell me anything. I promise I won’t judge you.”

“…Really?” He sounded almost like he was in awe.

I nodded. “Yes, really. The thought of making you nervous makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want you to feel that way in front of me.” My voice was soft, reassuring. Maybe it was the soft dom in me that recognized his submissive, but I wanted to comfort him. I wanted him to feel safe.

Spencer Reid took a deep breath before he spoke again. He acted like it was no big deal, but the words he said afterward gave me a mild heart attack. "Okay, can you tell me about your BDSM experiences?"

I fucking beg your goddamn pardon?

I sputtered a bit. “…Seriously?” My eyes were wide, I didn’t risk looking at him.

“W-well,” he sounded unsure now. “You said I could ask you anything.”

“You can! You absolutely can!” I heard him let out a breath. “I’m just…surprised that’s what you went with. That’s all. But…I don’t mind telling you if you really want to know.”

“I do,” he whispered.

I smiled over at him. “Okay, Doc. What do you wanna know?”

Spencer chewed on his bottom lip thoughtfully. “Maybe just walk me through what you like to do. Or what you usually do. Or how you got into it.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh, that’s all?” I shook my head. “Alright. I was 21 when I first got into it. I had a…he wasn’t really my boyfriend. I guess you can say a friend with benefits.” I saw him nod his head in understanding. “And one day he asked me if I knew anything about BDSM. At that time, I only knew misconceptions and rumors; which is why I told him I wasn’t interested. The thought of someone tying me down and doing whatever they wanted to me sounded terrifying. But he clarified that he thought I would enjoy being a dominant. We tried it out a few times…and I liked it.”

Spencer cleared his throat. “So…is that the only kind of sex you have?”

I pondered over how to answer him. “That’s…a complicated question. I’m not not answering. I think I should just explain a bit more first." He made a noise of affirmation before I continued on. "What I do during a scene sort of depends on my submissive. Before anything happens, we have to have a really in-depth conversation, discussing hard and soft limits, punishments, expectations, and things like that." I glanced over, confirming I hadn't lost him. "Like I mentioned, I'm a soft dom. But, I usually can bend to what my submissive likes, as long as I’m comfortable.”

“So, what would you do? If you got to pick everything?”

You keep on surprising me, Doctor, I thought.

“Well, I like bondage, choking, degradation, but only if it’s light and done right.” I don’t know why I felt the need to explain that. “Then I’m fine with oral sex, praise, orgasm denial, overstimulation, and pegging.”

Spencer was quiet. “A-and pegging is the…”

“What the unsub was doing to her victims? Yes, Spencer.”

“…Oh,” was all the boy genius said.

I continued on, trying to provide context. “I usually like to build up the relationship a bit before I bust out a strap on, though.” I worked hard to keep my voice even. “I’ll use toys on him first, usually.”

“You didn’t say sex.”

Shit. "Beg pardon?" I asked like I was clueless about what he meant.  

Dr. Reid’s voice was firm; it was the voice he used on cases, the steady voice that explained concepts that anyone else would miss. “You said oral sex. You said you’d…you’d…do that-“

“Oh, for God’s sake, Doc,” I interrupted with a laugh. “We’re less than 3 minutes from your apartment and we’re having a conversation about BDSM. You can say fuck.”

“Fine,” he huffed. “You said you fuck them. But you never said you’d let them fuck you.”

Fucking profilers. “Yes, that’s right. That’s why it was so hard for me to answer your earlier question. I don’t have traditional sex with my submissives.”

His voice was confused when he asked, “But why?”

I clicked my tongue. “That, my darling, is a conversation I avoid at all costs. And we’re at your apartment.”

Spencer glanced around, surprised we’d arrived already, despite how long the drive took in the rain. I knew what he was going to do before he did it. I was already formulating my answer when he said, “Y/n…would you want to come up to my apartment? So we could keep talking?”

“Sure, Spence. If that’s what you want.”

--

message/comment to be added to the series tag list! thank you for reading :)

[redsector-a]

AO3 Ask Game

I was tagged by @themarshalstale which, thank you so much! I feel like I always get missed on these (I know why, it’s been 84 years since I published anything but still). 1. How many works do you have on ao3?

46 it seems. Which...look I’m slow man so that’s not surprising. lol Also crippling depression does not make for much production, at least for me.

2. What’s your current AO3 wordcount?

309662 according to the stats.

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

So do I could only AO3 or in like life? lol I suppose it should only be on AO3 since this is an AO3 ask game. Hrm. Basically AO3 can be summed up as: Marvel (in several iterations - all Avengers related) Torchwood Highlander But isn’t it more fun to consider my entire fandom life, which, I’m sorry, I’m old so...yeah. Not all of this is was published and beyond that a lot is not available anymore...which is likely for the best. Highlander Star Wars Babylon 5 Ronin Warriors/Samurai Troopers Marvel (again, several iterations also of note Avengers and X-Men both count) Torchwood Star Trek LOTR Stargate (SG-1, SGA) Mortal Kombat I dabbled with the idea of Potter fic but never got past the ideas stage.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1: You rearrange me till I’m sane Clint finds himself spiraling into a deep depression after the Battle of New York...until the Winter Soldier ends up saving him and inadvertently giving him a new purpose – to save the man that the Soldier had once been – Bucky Barnes. Not one to be outdone, the Soldier decides that his new mission is to ensure that Clint remains alive himself. Protecting a blonde man with a self-destructive streak is somehow very familiar to him. Through the back and forth of who is saving whom they cross the country and learn more about themselves and each other – and perhaps find a reason for living. 2: Five Dates Bucky Didn’t Realize He Was on And the One He Planned Himself To say that Bucky was surprised when Clint kissed him was an understatement. But it was nothing compared to the shock he felt when he learned they'd been dating for months without him realizing it.Clint gets whisked away for a mission before they have time to talk and Bucky is left to figure things out on his own - hindsight being 20/20 he can't help but wonder how he missed things the first go around.

3: Puck Luck Bucky Barnes is used to the ups and downs of an NHL season. He's used to the unpredictability of the game, knows that bounces don't always go your way, but that doesn't make a broken hand in the final third of the season any easier to deal with. Especially not when he ends up with an impromptu roommate/personal assistant in the form of one Clint Barton - his agent, Natalia Romanova's (rather attractive) friend he hadn't known existed before his injury.

It's just for six to eight weeks - what could possibly happen in that span of time?

4: Loose Lips Launch Ships

Based on the following prompt: “We go to school together and I think you’re cute and apparently you’re also the pizza delivery guy and my little sibling opened the door screaming hey sibling! you know that kid you’re in love with? you really weren’t kidding when you said his jawline could cut steel holy shit-” Bucky is the pizza delivery guy. Clint's younger (foster) brother has a big mouth.

5: Indelible Bucky Barnes has a pretty decent life – a good job, good friends, a cat that adores him - but something is missing. He’s always found body art to be beautiful and inspiring, and on a whim (and with the hope that maybe he can find what he’s missing) he decides to take the plunge and get a tattoo. That's how he meets Clint Barton. Clint's talented and compassionate and there is an instant spark between the two of them. It's not long before Bucky finds himself wondering and wanting more from the relationship despite the ghosts of the past that crop back up. Because Clint makes him feel normal in a way he truly hasn't for years...

(this was pre-Alpine so I was totally chuffed when canon confirmed Bucky’s status as a crazy cat lady (affectionate).

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not.

I really really really want to do it but I often times don’t end up doing it. There are a few reasons. First, I am akwward AF and bad at interaction adn I feel like just saying thank you would be...not enough? Second - I often times tend to like...turtle (aka retreat into myself) when life gets Too Hard/Busy which happens a lot to me (sigh) and then I miss the vague window in my mind in which it would be okay to respond and then it’s even more weird. I do love and cherish all of them. Like there was one months ago that made me go “hmm...I didn’t think I was going to do a sequel to that fic (You rearrange me till I’m sane), timestamp glimpses sure but a sequel hadn’t come to mind” but then the comment made me think! So...who knows? lol Anyway, I literally have been rereading some in an effort to try and get myself going again. Know that if you have commented, I love you.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

At the moment? Probably: Look at you look at me Bucky's in love with Clint - problem is he's really not supposed to be. For Winterhawk Week 2019 - Forbidden Love (I really don’t want to give away the spin in the fic but...if you’re familiar with the Secret Avengers Vol 2 run circa 2013ish (aka when SHIELD initially ‘took control of the team’) that’s a bit of a hint as to the spin). Were it done, Torch Song would be up there. ;) Torch Song Clint is sent back in time, via an alien device, to 1938. While he tries to figure out how to get back home, he takes up singing and entertaining to make ends meet and does his best to not disrupt the timeline.Then he meets a 21 year old Bucky Barnes. --- A torch song is a sentimental love song, typically one in which the singer laments an unrequited or lost love, either where one party is oblivious to the existence of the other, where one party has moved on, or where a romantic affair has affected the relationship.

7. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Does *wanting* to write crossovers count? lol I want, so badly, to do more crossovers and fusions (which...are kinda deeper versions of crossovers in a way). The only one I do have posted is a crossover between Highlander and Torchwood -

The Immortal Mr. Jones A series of vignettes (some long, some short) in the life of the newly immortal Ianto Jones. My most ambitions project that I have been working on since late 2011/early 2012 is a fusion of the Avengers with Stephen King’s the Stand. I will get that done at some point *shakes fist*  The Stand, for those who don’t know it, is an epic 1000+ page novel about a flu epidemic (I know) that wipes out over 99% of the population and then two figures representing Good and Evil pull the survivors in two directions for a showdown. So basically it’s a non-powered modern AU set in that universe. It’s a passion and comfort project. lol

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. Well, minor bitching back when I was in a prior fandom because I tagged a pairing in a fic but it was pre-slash and not labeled as pre-slash. I got hate on...I think it was Torch Song? And I’ve gotten hate on tumblr re me and my fic in general as well. Fandom! *jazz hands* Oh! And I’ve also been hit by those reviewers within Winterhawk (among general Clint pairings actually) who like rate you on either number scales or the “meh” scale. Which isn’t hate exactly but...it’s passive aggressive bullshit because I can’t believe none of them realize at this point that the authors can see their bookmarks - you know?

9. Do you write smut?

Yes. Do I write it well? I have no idea. lol

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of. Well...there was, I think, one of those reposting sites that had a few fics on it but I don’t think it was being passed off as someone else’s? I can’t quite recall. It’s why I have a note on AO3 about reposting my work anyway.

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not entirely, but sort of. Let me explain - I am part of a PBEM game; which for those unfamiliar since it’s a term that was most heavily in use 15-20 years ago, in which you basically do a round robin type writing thing but rather than everyone writing the same characters you write your own characters and you play off what other people have done. Another way of looking at it is  it’s basically DnD without dice and written down rather than done out loud. You also don’t have to all be around at the same time. It’s a lot of fun and yes I have been in it for 20 years even though there aren’t many of us left but they are some of my dearest friends and fabulous writers. Wins all around.  One of the other writers and I have actually toyed with the idea of doing a co-written fic actually, mostly because we work super well together and keep getting ideas for things but can’t really do them as rpgs since the pbem style isn’t used much anymore.

12. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Winterhawk probably. Though, let’s be real - Han & Leia are epic and amazing as are John & Delenn (from Babylon 5).

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Does wanting to expand The Black Stallion books as a wee child count? lol Not much of that was written save for world building ideas but there was a great oral tradition of telling stories to my friends. Otherwise...maybe a tie between Star Wars and Highlander. Star Wars was a love since I was super young but the writing bug didn’t hit me until around the same time Highlander was a thing as well.

14. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? You rearrange me till I’m sane for sure. Though Torch Song, if it were finished, would be tied I imagine (I suck at picking favorites). Honorable mention to Puck Luck and Indelible. Tagging: I have seen this like a million times (okay 5) so I feel like everyone has been tagged already that I know. But...I guess... @vexbatch @crazycatt71 @heartonfirewrites and @disruptedvice sorry if anyone has been tagged before.

[gallavictorious]

I was delighted to be tagged by Our Lady of Words and Joy @howlinchickhowl Cheers, dear!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Earlier today it was 40. Now it’s 39. WHAT GIVES? Did someone eat a story? Which one? I am so confused.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

137 098. At least that hasn’t changed...

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Highs, and Your Lows (i will weather them)

This Time (We'll Be Fine)

Teenage Tales

To Keep Your Gentle Heart

Captive Look

Huh. Would you look at that. All Gallavich stuff!

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Eh. Well. Listen, I always want and mean to respond to comments, because as a commenter I always love a response from the author, but I am procrastinator supreme so a lot of the time I just... don't. Not for a great long while at least. Then, two years AFTER you left a comment, you might get an e-mail notification about me responding. It's horrible, really, because I keep the comments in my heart and treasure them so much and the lovely people taking the time to leave a few words on my silly stories really do deserve better.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Life, Still to Come has the one main character Jim Moriarty killing himself and his lover Sebastian Moran after he's diagnosed with incurable brain cancer, so I guess that's pretty angsty? The tone of the fic, however, is... kinda soft and peaceful, really. It doesn't feel so very sad, I think.

For Gallavich, I've got Chapter 7 of my ficlet collection Highs, and Your Lows (i will weather them). It's an Wild West AU kind of deal, where Ian Gallagher is visited by the ghost of the young fiend Mickey Milkovich after his dad beats him to death. That one is sad, but there's the glimmer of a promise that they might meet again one day, in a better world.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

My fics mostly end on a happy note, and I have a hard time pinning down which is the happiest. Hm. I'm gonna say Pressure or possibly Foreign Country, if only because the happy endings there are offered in contrast to the otherwise angsty story and so seems all the happier for it.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I have, once. Well, started one, really. Notes Regarding the End of the World is a crossover between Sherlock BBC and Mark Lawrence's The Broken Empire trilogy. I still feel there's a bunch of potential there, but I'm very hesitant I'll ever finish it.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not to my recollection, no. Back when I posted my SW fic on the Jedi Council forums you might receive critical comments at times, but no hate.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not really, no. I'm not very interested in reading it, and so see very little point in writing it. There's been a few semi-explicit depictions of sexual acts – most notably in Claim – and I'm not averse to writing kink fic, even if they don't typically include actual sex when I do. For instance, I did The Ways We Bend and Break and Mend for X-Men, and the whole point was Charles first whipping Erik and then cuddling him – except in the end it turned into a character study with lots of emotions, and I think any attempts to write smut would be like that for me. Accidental character drama. XD

I might have a Gallavich thing for kinktober that is likely to be pretty explicit and kinda messed up. We'll see.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so. There have been a few instances of stuff popping up bearing a strong resemblance to things I've written, but there's also been times when I realize that things I have written bear a (very much unintentional) strong resemblance to other stuff that predates them, so I really think that's the nature of the beast. In any big fandom, the same ideas are likely to occur to multiple people, and we are all, often unconsciously, inspired by the same things and by each other.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah, to Chinese and Russian.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Pathoftheranger and I co-wrote (How to Break the) Alibi Armistice, which was fun!

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I'm a creature of ever-changing affections, so I'm not so good with ”all-time favourite”  and to be honest, I mostly tend to have favourite characters and ship them with everything in sight... Currently it's all about Gallavich but pretty much all ships including Jim Moriarty is forever gold to me (though MorMor is The Best. Or is it Sheriarty? Or maybe Mormorlock? Or Moriadlock? Or Johmlock – notice the 'm'?). Cherik's a big one too!

Ask me again in six months and my answer might well have changed!

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

The aforementioned Notes Regarding the End of the World. And I have this superlong Star Wars fic I started writing when I was 16 and wrote for years and years and then just... stopped writing, when I was maybe 20 pages from the end? It's currently at 180k words. This one I DO have some hope that I will go back and finish one day, although it's likely to be a jarring experience since I'm very much not 16 years old any more and my ideas about writing and the characters and everything have shifted quite a bit.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I do pretty well with the short format, I think. And with dialogue? Finding the voice of the characters (some more than others, certainly). Writing in my native Swedish, I think I'm pretty good at offering decent prose – I'd like to think I have a fairly developed ear for the flow of the text, and the melody of it? But when writing in English, that gets quite a bit harder. This really annoys me, because I'm rather preoccupied with the stylish elements of writing – though I've found that a lot of people seem happy enough to overlook clunky writing as long as they find the story otherwise engaging, which is a huge blessing for me. I believe I can build a decent plot, but since I can't write anyting longer than a few K these days there's no telling, is there?

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Primarily getting any writing done at all. Mostly, I stare at a blank page and despair and then I give up. This is why I no longer write long fic. I also tend to reuse favorite phrases or themes far too often. And there are so many subclauses... Proofreading happens to other people (I'd like it to happen to me too, but I'm terrible with it). I'm not good at accepting constructive criticism, even when I ask for it. I will often favour style over efficiency, and I'll stubbornly refuse to admit that this can be a problem.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

This question makes me feel like I ought to have developed thoughts on this, but I don't so much... I don't mind it? I've used it. Uh. It's a good idea to do a bit of research and not just rely on Google translate for it? If you don't like it, don't use it. Those are my thoughts.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars. <3

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Buffy/Angel/Spike. The Book of All Hours. Heroes. Maybe something based on The Coldfire Trilogy... ? Oh, and the Bible. I'm sure there are others.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I really don't have one. There are a few I'm particularly happy with, but no one that truly stands out... That said, I was quite chuffed with how the first ficlet in Or Else Into the Light, my (tiny) collection of Anakin redemption one-shots, turned out. And Claim. I’m very pleased with Claim.

Tagging @dreamylyfe-x @fiona-fififi @pathoftheranger @abundanceofnots and @captainjowl

[ka-za-ri]

Descent Pt. 3

Oh hai. I finally managed to get this chapter out and I hate every word of it. I’m so so sorry if it’s not great or what you’re looking for. Feel free to let me know if you liked it or if it’s as garbage as I think it is. Chapter Index and Obey Me! Masterlist: here Ao3 Mirror: Here Part [1] Part [2] Part [3] Part 4: [4] Part [5] Part [6] Part [7] Part [8] Part [9] Part [10]

Pairing: Simeon x Reader Genre: Smut Wordcount: 6,300 ish Tags: Sex toys, smut, awkward conversations about sex Summary: Simeon is running out of ways to ask you over. In a last ditch attempt, he puts his pride on the line to have the conversation he's been dreading.

Slip

Simeon was running out of excuses to call you over for help. The first time was a serendipitous discovery. The second happened out of necessity. But now that he had the video recording, he was convinced that you would think he didn’t need your help anymore. At least, that was what he told himself. Still, he kept coming up with reasons why he might need you to help him again. If his book was to be successful, he needed all the inspiration he could get.

He couldn’t sleep, he stopped eating proper meals in his mad search for the right materials to work off of. It was all a distraction from the truth. He was willingly falling into your trap of temptation and was doing nothing about it. No matter how many times he wrote it off what he was doing as research or investigation for the sake of his book; there was no denying the fact that he was slipping down into a darkness that he couldn’t save himself from.

The first time he had a taste of you was all it took for him to spiral down a rabbit hole of finding more ways to get you to moan in his presence. He wanted to feel your heat again, he wanted to see you come undone; but he needed to hide behind some reason. He needed more time with you; and he wracked his brain on the daily to figure out how. Of course, seeing you wasn’t the hard part, the most difficult issue was convincing you to keep ‘helping’ his cause. That step would come soon enough; but first, he had to find reason to see you again.

Luckily for him, he kept track of the most arbitrary reasons to celebrate and called for you once more. Perhaps this time, he could persuade you to make it a regular thing. An author was always in need of a muse; and no one else was more suited to the job than you were.

[SMS: COME SPEND THE WEEKEND HERE???! WE CAN CELEBRATE YOUR WORK ANNIVERSARY!!!??]

You laughed when you received the message in the morning. With how busy he kept you with all his drafts and proposals, it was rather shocking just how much time had passed since he was assigned to you. Years had passed and you figured he would have forgotten about the first day you sat down with him to discuss the direction of his work. However, he always made it a big deal about celebrating your tenure with him. It was endearing and you could never pass up the chance to spend some time with him that didn’t involve work.

[SMS: Okay! Let me pack an overnight bag!]

You contemplated what to bring. Part of you eyed the cutest sets of lingerie you owned. Oh come on, like he’d think about you like that. You chided yourself while stuffing some pajamas into your bag. However, the subject matter of his new book came to your mind and you ended up carefully tucking them into the corner of your overnight bag. Just in case… it’ll be good for research.

Even if it was just for a weekend getaway, your overnight bag ended up being crammed full of all sorts of things you thought would be good ‘just in case.’ Why you thought it would be necessary to bring an extra pair of shoes was beyond you. The two of you were most likely going to just spend the whole weekend indoors watching terrible movies and tearing apart the scripts and critiquing the dialog.

A small part of you hoped he would use the weekend for ‘research’ purposes. Just thinking about how intense his eyes were when he ‘helped’ you out the last time you were over had you feeling uncomfortably warm from head to toe. On the off chance that he requested something else from you, you needed to at least be prepared to oblige. Even if his intentions for the weekend were innocent, you needed to be ready for a change of plans. He had been throwing you off guard quite a bit; first with his new book ideas, and now his research methods, he was as unpredictable as the first day you met him all those years ago.

Throwing caution to the wind, you crammed in the tallest pair of platform heels you owned into the bag. At least they were black and would match with anything, especially the lingerie you had chosen. Double checking to make sure you had gotten all the essentials, you threw the bag over your shoulder and made your way over to Simeon’s place.

~~

If there was one thing Simeon couldn’t stand was not being able to convey what he imagined in his head onto a page. With all the literary experience he had; it shouldn’t have been so hard to write something salacious and naughty. He knew the importance of proper research and threw himself head first into finding out all he could. He lost track of the number of times he watched the video of you on his phone. At this point, he practically had it memorized; he knew the exact moment in the recording that you came, calling his name. Every time he thought about it, it sent shivers down his spine. Any other videos he sought didn’t have the same effect as your pretty voice lilting and echoing in his room. No other sources worked in helping him write outside of what you provided him.

If he was going to be truthful to himself, he knew there was no return from the dark path he was going down. But he deluded himself into thinking he was safe. As long as he could upkeep his promise to keep you unsullied, he would come out of this trial unscathed. As it was so far, things progressed easily enough but, he knew he would need your help again. There was an intimacy that was missing in his words. Something just didn’t flow properly and he wouldn’t be able to figure it out what it was until he got to experience things first hand. The only problem was saving himself from falling in the process.

He could only ask for forgiveness if he went too far.

Though the tone of his message had been innocent, he had plans to turn the weekend into a productive one. The only problem was trying to figure out how to tell you what he needed out of you. He felt filthy no matter how many times he showered, his mind marred by the image of your shuddering body. His fingers could still feel your walls clenching around him and the warmth of your body surrounding him. He wanted it. He wanted to experience it all for himself; but to keep both you and him safe, he had to find a way around the most sinful act according to the Celestial doctrines.

The knock at his door brought him out of his reverie and he was faced with reality. For the time being, it was easy to play the host and let you relax. “Rush hour wasn’t too bad?” He asked as you took off your shoes and stepped into the guest slippers at the front door.

“It’s a Friday and everyone is eager to go home after a work week, you tell me how crowded the trains were.” You teased.

He took your bag from you to stow away and he was surprised at how heavy it was. “I said it was just for the weekend, it feels like you packed for a month here.”

You cleared your throat, feeling your cheeks heat up a bit. “Well, I just wanted to make sure I was prepared for anything that might happen.” You shrugged, leaving the interpretation of your words up in the air.

Simeon distracted himself from the lewd thoughts your words brought on while he put your bag to the side. “I already ordered some pizza for dinner. It should be here in a little bit so make yourself comfortable.”

You lost no time in making your way over to his living room, flopping on the spacious couch there and sprawling out. “Comfort achieved.” You announced, which earned you a soft chuckle from Simeon. Even though the basis of your relationship with him was work; it didn’t stop the two of you from becoming friends. He simply had such a soothing aura around him, it was easy to let your guard down and be yourself. Without having to worry about work for the weekend, it was even easier for you to just pretend it was a sleepover with a friend.

He came over and joined you on the couch, a mug of tea in his hand and part of his manuscript in another hand. You perked up when you saw the pages with your notes on them. “Hey, I thought this was supposed to be a weekend to celebrate a work anniversary. I didn’t plan on partying by watching you rewrite the first half of your book for the seventh time.”

He chuckled, putting down the stack of papers on the coffee table in front and leaned back to regard you. “So, what do you suggest we do to celebrate then?”

“Anything but work.” You determined. “I don’t know, board games? Movie? Arts and crafts?”

Simeon laughed; it was a sound you could never get enough of. It was so melodic and soothing, you wanted to keep him entertained for the rest of your life. But you had to remember to remain professional. There was no way he thought of you as anything more than a friend or a close co-worker. You were in charge of caring for him and making sure his work got to the publishing house on time; outside of that, things needed to remain casual.

“Well, dinner comes first.” He said, getting up as the doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of food. He disappeared briefly before returning with a small stack of pizza boxes. It was way more than two people could eat in one sitting; but that was par for the course on how Simeon tended to order whenever you were asked to stay over.

While dining upon the finest pizza the city had to offer and sipping on soda, you thought over the years you had spent with Simeon and how much he had grown on you. At first, he was exactly what you expected a high profile author to be like. He was cool, aloof and distant. His work was impeccable, but even the best in the field made mistakes and you made sure he knew about them prior to publication. He always held you at arms length, with respect and appreciation, but made sure to never step past the boundaries of professionalism.

Over time, he warmed up to you more, inviting you over to work on editing while he continued to write his manuscripts. Something about having real-time feedback seemed to help get his creative juices flowing. You also ended up benefiting from it as you were  able to edit and get changes back faster than waiting for replies to your email. With how technologically challenged Simeon could be, you often had to wait days, if not weeks, to get a small update. Still, the barrier of professionalism never changed. The two of you simply worked well together and created a sturdy friendship based on work.

Despite that, you couldn’t help but slowly fall for him. It was easy to do so, he was handsome, gentle, considerate; everything you could have asked for in a partner. Being so intimately involved in his career meant you likely knew a lot more about him than many people did. A few years passed and you struggled to hide the feelings you had for him. Every time he asked something of you, it was easy to jump on the chance to see him smile, hear his laugh and maybe receive a bit of praise outside of something related to writing. You managed pretty well, considering how dense Simeon could be; it didn’t seem like he had any idea of what you were hiding from him and the polite respect you gave each other was maintained.

The distinct civility you two had only changed with his new book. After the first time, you had convinced yourself that it was all a fluke. A one time occurrence, never to be repeated. The second time, you prayed that your heart wouldn’t guide your actions and do something you would regret. You could still vividly remember just how bright his eyes were when he was knuckle deep in you and making you cum with no effort at all.

“Are… you alright?” Simeon’s voice cut through your thoughts and you were quickly wrenched back into reality with a half eaten slice of pizza drooping and getting cold in your hand.

“Oh? Yeah. Just thinking about how long I’ve been working for you.” You explained with a bit of a shrug.

“It’s been quite some time, hasn’t it?” He concurred, regarding you over his mug of tea, sipping it carefully and trying to parse out your odd mannerisms. It wasn’t the first time he had asked you to spend the weekend over to celebrate a mundane weekend which held no meaning to anyone but himself and you. It was the first time he had ever hidden his true intentions from you and he wondered if you could feel his guilt from where you sat. When you went back to eating, commenting about the quality of the toppings on the pizza, he relaxed a bit. “I wouldn’t be where I am without your help. So, I really should thank you for the time you’ve been with you.”

There was unfortunately nowhere to hide your face from the blush you felt creeping up your neck from your neck. “Well, I’m always happy to help, back then, now, and in the future.” You reassured him. “Gotta make sure we keep your reputation intact, right?”

There it was, the opening he was hoping for. He took the sliver of a chance you had given him and ran with it. Mulling over his words before he spoke, Simeon took a sip of his tea and let the silence settle between you. “You’d help me? Even with this… project of mine being as unreasonable as it has been?”

You understood his reservations in regards to being helped. He was so cute fumbling over his words and his requests. If he just wants me to come over every week to watch me fuck myself, he can say so. You smiled and sipped your soda, waiting for him to push the issue at hand again. When he didn’t go any further, you decided to step up and bring up the topic for yourself. “I’m serious about helping you in any way I can. You’re working on something you’ve never done before, it only makes sense that you get as much uhm… research in as you can…” Your words trailed off at the end and you wondered if you had said too much.

“Really?” Simeon tried to hide his excitement. “So you wouldn’t mind if I asked you to… You know...” He couldn’t bring himself to finish what he was saying. It was too embarrassing to admit he needed help as it was; to tell you out loud that he required more source material for his work seemed to be too much for his poor brain to handle.

You decided to voice his desires for him. “You need me to come over and give you some scene ideas?” You asked sweetly, batting your eyelashes as if it was the most innocent thing in the world.

“I… Yes. That.” He sighed in resignation. “I already have the scenes planned, it’s just the details I don’t have a feel for, so I need some more, you know, that stuff to get an idea of how it’s supposed to be written.”

You couldn’t help but let out a coo of endearment. He was just so cute being all fidgety in his seat and twiddling his fingers together, it was impossible for you to deny him. “Well, if we want to keep our jobs, then helping you with some scenes should be the easy part. You’re the one who has to write them out.”

“You’re really sure?” He breathed, his eyes wide in shock that it had been so easy to convince you. “I might need you more than once. Maybe… We can make this weekend thing a thing?” He suggested shyly. 

“Anything you want.” You confirmed.

It was as if a switch had been turned on him, the excitement and the relief that he had gotten permission to research as much as he wanted changed him into a completely different man. You barely had time to move out of the way before he shoved the coffee table  in the middle of the room to the side and pulled out a trunk he had hidden in a corner.

“So, I got a couple of things in the last week that I think might help. You said it would be easier if you used toys, so I looked a few of them up and picked out some things that either seemed interesting or if they’d help you. I don’t know what you like, but hopefully you’ll find something in here that will suit your needs.” He babbled happily, explaining everything he had done since the last time you had been at his home and you were rather taken aback at the sheer amount of things he had acquired in such a short time.

“Oh God,” you breathed, when you looked at  the veritable collection he had amassed so quickly. It was rather mind blowing just how invested he had become in such a short time. Then again, you should have expected him to give whatever he was writing his all. This though, was a bit much, even for the lengths you were used to seeing him go through.

He could almost laugh at the irony of the phrase. He was sure God had long left his home with how dangerously close he was to falling away from grace. After you agreed to his request, he couldn’t care any less about the free fall straight to Hell. He was getting what he wanted.

“I need to know how these work.” He said, reaching over to put on a pair of glasses and picked up a notebook. “If you could be so kind to allow me to ah… experiment.”

“Are you sure this is all for your novel?” You raised an eyebrow, suspicious that it was all truly for scientific purposes and it wasn’t for personal use.

Simeon faltered a bit before he nodded, his lips set in a thin line of determination and his gaze bounce back and forth between you and the pile of toys. “If I’m going to have enough variety in the scenes to span a whole book, I’m going to need to as much information as possible.” He flipped to a blank page of his notebook, titling it with the date and looked at you expectantly. It was frightening just how clinical he was being with the whole situation.

“You know, you have to go through some of it too...” You countered, you weren’t about to go through a series of sexual tests without conducting a few of your own on him. “You were having problems with the partner last time, right? We can’t have those kinds of issues pop up again.”

He blinked several times, processing what you had to say. You could see his will falter a bit before he went right back into the zone he was in just moments ago. He nodded, mumbling to himself and concurring to your points. “This is true… I’ll have to make sure that the scenario balance is equal. I need to manage that somehow. Perhaps if I recorded like I did last time…”

You giggled, surprised at how straightforward he was being and stepped closer to him, pushing his hair away from his face; an action that broke his concentration and he had to look at you face-to-face. “Relax. I’ll take care of you.” You purred. “You just have to remember what happens.” Taking the notebook and pen from him, you pushed him back onto the couch and straddled him, keeping him in place. “You can keep the glasses though, they’re a nice touch.”

Despite your confidence, your heart was hammering in your chest. Your ears rang and you could barely believe this was happening. You had only ever fantasized about being this sort of intimate with Simeon. When he had pushed you away the last time, you were sure he didn’t see you as desirable. And it was about to happen again. He kept you at arms length, pushing you back when you moved to kiss him. “I… No. I can’t like this with you. Anything but you know...”

You sighed, peeling yourself off his thighs and sat next to him. “Okay, I don’t know. And you’re sending me mixed signals; so let’s get these things out of the way so we don’t get things mixed up in the future.” You declared, putting your foot down. You weren’t about to have him bait and switch on you again. “I’m assuming sticking your dick in me isn’t something you’re really into doing.”

You watched Simeon fidget while he pointedly avoided your gaze. He nodded, unable to speak. It would be the closest thing you would get out of him as confirmation. Still, it did leave a few things up in the air which you needed to clarify. “So, you know I’ve got three perfectly serviceable holes. Is it all three or just one?”

He was in the middle of sipping his tea and nearly choked when you asked him. Fumbling to regain his composure he cleared his throat before answering you. You could tell he never expected to have a conversation like this; but it was necessary to know just how far he would go. “Just… I cannot defile you...”

You laughed at how innocent his words were. Even if you knew what he meant, his words still had multiple meanings and without clarity, you weren’t about to continue.  Reaching out and patting his hair softly, you tried a different method. “Okay, how about this. Am I allowed to blow you?”

A pause, he still refused to speak up, but at least he gave you a nod to let you know that was alright. Good, we’re getting somewhere. “Okay, are you okay with putting your dick in my ass?”

You could tell how differently he felt when it came to discussing his own sex life outside of the one he was writing. He covered the lower part of his face with his hand, rubbing his chin as he seemed to have an internal war with himself. The silence between the two of you dragged on before he finally gave you his nod of approval. “Got it… So, I know what your answer is probably going to be, but I still need to ask. Are you willing to put your dick in my pussy?”

Something broke in him at the question. He vehemently shook his head, shutting his eyes and refusing to look at you, or anything else for that matter. “No. No. No. Anything but that. I can’t. I can’t do that.”

You put your hand on his shoulder, rubbing him gently to bring him back to reality. “Okay, okay, we won’t go that far. At least I know now.” You murmured, keeping your voice low to not startle him into a further panic. “I promise we won’t do that.”

At your reassurance, he heaved a sigh of relief, as if he had been saved from something terrifying. You kept your hand on his shoulder, rubbing comforting circles there until he came back to reality. “I’ll tell you if we go too far… we can have a code word.” He suggested. “I read about it, people call it a safe word.”

You nodded, agreeing with what he said. At least he knows the basics. It’s just a matter of figuring out the rest for him. “So, what do you want to use?”

“Christopher Peugeot.” He deadpanned.

You laughed, using his pen name wasn’t something you expected, but you knew how he detested you calling him that; so it would definitely work in the event things went too far. You hoped you didn’t ever have to use it, but it was a necessary step. “Okay, now that we have all that settled, what did you want to try out on me today?” You gestured over to the trunk full of toys. “I’m sure you’ve got a few things you’re dying to try out.”

The boyish enthusiasm he had before when explaining his collection came back and he got up, rustling around, pulling out a full assortment of toys. You gulped, blinking at some of them and wondered just where he had gotten them. “So… care to tell me how this is all going to fit into a story about a spy?” You asked.

“Well, the main character has to pretend to be married; but she also has feelings for someone else that she works for… and she might also have escapades with her boss… And so she’s with several people and each one of them is different so you know, I have to make sure I get their personalities correct.”

You nodded, trying to put your mind into the main character he wrote. Pretending to work a high risk job while having a wild sex life definitely was quite the departure from the high fantasy setting he was so used to. It really was no wonder he was floundering so hard. It truly was a good thing he was such a talented author; you weren’t sure anyone else could have pulled off the switch like he had.

While he prepared everything he wanted to use for the evening, you eyed what he had chosen and was rather intrigued by the array of toys in his possession. It was only natural that you got rather excited with his experiment, even if it was a rather clinical approach. You would need to change that later.

Simeon laid everything out neatly, taking notes and mumbling to himself. There was something that was so innately sexy about his focus that made made you more wet than the prospect of how many toys he was going to try on you. You waited patiently while he took all the notes he needed. Even if it was going to be a wild night, it was truly supposed to be ‘research’ in the end. “Okay. I think I’m ready.” He announced after arranging and rearranging the order of the toys he set aside.

“Good, I thought I was going to fall asleep with how long you were taking. Where would you like me? I’m all yours.” You gave him a wink and a sly grin, making him stutter a bit. He gestured to the floor space he had cleared up. Hastily, he grabbed a nearby throw to make it a bit more comfortable than the decorative rug he had there.

“Here is fine.” He mumbled and waited for you to get comfortable. You grabbed a few of the pillows from the couches to join the pile of soft things and awaited his next commands.

He stumbled like a newborn fawn, trying to calculate and recalculate the scene he had in his mind to figure out where it was going. Eventually, you got tired of his anxious mumbling and pulled him by the collar to join you on the floor. As soon as he was close enough, you took control of the situation and kissed him. Simeon let out a surprised squeak, at first struggling against the sudden break away from his plans; however, you could almost hear the gears of his mind whirring and clicking as he melted into your arms and started kissing you back.

“So, if we’re going to do this, can you at least pretend to like me a little?” You asked after breaking the kiss. “Helps with the whole getting into the role thing.”

Truthfully, you wanted to have an excuse to kiss him. Simeon at least didn’t seem to have any objections to your demands. He swooped in for another kiss, his hands lacing behind your head and into your hair. His lips were just as soft as you had always imagined them to be. His body heat so close to yours was just as comforting as you had dreamed of. The way he kissed you took your breath away and left you confused as to whether or not he was as innocent as he made himself out to be. Not like you really had time to parse those thoughts out when his lips and hands were all over you, making you dizzy with need.

He smelled like fresh laundry and lemon dish soap. He was everything soft and good in the world wrapped into one sinful package that you had the privilege to unwrap one layer at a time. You could have spent hours kissing him if you could. Eventually, he found himself on top of you, helping you out of your clothes and marveling at how much of a different experience it was when he was properly involved. The irises of his bright blue eyes were blown wide open as he took in every detail of your body. He was awestruck, removing layer after layer of clothing until you were in nothing but your lacy underthings.

It was entirely unfair. One moment you were fully clothed, the next, you were in your unspeakables and Simeon still hadn’t shed a single piece of clothing yet. He was so focused on you and how you reacted, he had completely forgotten about himself. He paused to look at you all sprawled out underneath him on his floor in his home. It was quite a sight and it was the perfect opportunity for you to slip your hand under the over-sized sweater he wore and peel it off of him with one swift motion.

Finally, you were blessed with the image of him shirtless. It was everything you had hoped it would be. His lean body was surprisingly toned for someone who spent his life writing books for a living. There wasn’t a single blemish on his skin and you lost no time in running your hands across his smooth skin. “Beautiful...” you breathed, smiling softly at him.

Simeon quickly found out that the fastest way to get you to stop making him so flustered was to kiss you senseless. His hands did work in taking off the last pieces of clothing you had on. By the time he finally broke away from another heated make out session, you were completely nude and ready for whatever he wanted to test out on you. He kept his lips on you, peppering your jaw and your neck with kisses and soft nibbles when he reached to the side and grabbed the first toy in the line of many.

His hand slipped between the two of you and you felt the cool tip of the toy slide up and down your wet slit. In those moments, he was so focused on your reactions, you got lost in the intensity of his stare. A thin sheen of sweat coated his skin. Even if it wasn’t too warm in the room, the heat between the two of you was absolutely sweltering. You were light headed from the kisses and the chance to finally be with Simeon in such a way. Even if it was all a farce, you were going to take whatever he gave you. At least you would have plenty of material to keep you company on the nights you didn’t get to spend with him.

It was so much better to have Simeon involved. There seemed to be so much more than you doing a favor for the man you worked with. There was a tension, a charge as he held something back from you. You couldn’t place your finger on what it was; but it didn’t matter. All you had to do was accept the toy he was pushing into you. You expected something bigger than his fingers the last time, but you weren’t prepared to be stretched open so suddenly by a larger than average toy. You gasped, arching your back to adjust around it a bit better.

“Are you okay, little lamb?” He asked softly, concern in his eyes as he searched your face for any signs of discomfort. With his glasses slipping down his nose, it was the most endearing sight you had ever seen before.

Little lamb. He had never used pet names with you before. Just that little bit of affection was all you needed to get over the uncomfortable feeling of having the intrusion of the toy being pushed into you with little warning. “I’m fine… You can keep going.” You reassured, rolling your hips towards him.

Looking down, you could see strained his pants had become and you felt rather guilty for being the only one on the receiving end of the whole exchange. However, the moment he started to move the toy in and out of you, your mind went blank and you could only focus on yourself. You knew he could see just how stretched out you were around the phallic device. He could see just how wet you were from making out with him and just how undone you could become when you were around him.

The wet sounds of the toy entering you over and over filled the room and your breathy sighs turned into moans. You clutched at the throw beneath you as you let him use your body for his gain. You’d deal with making sure he got his own just desserts later; for now, all you cared about was pretending the toy inside of you was actually Simeon’s cock.

He was relentless, having calculated just what he needed to do days before you had come over. He knew what he wanted out of your body and he was going to coax it all out of you. The sound of your moans mingling with the lewd wet noises that came from your pussy was an absolutely intoxicating combination and he had a growing problem in his pants that he would need to take care of soon. But, that could wait; the most important part of his research was right in front of him and that needed his utmost attention.

He tucked way the image of your writhing body for later. The scent of your arousal was filed away for later and the feel of your soft skin brushing against his hands as he worked the toy in and out of you was etched into his memory. He didn’t need to record anything this time around, not when the image was so vivid and he was participating so directly with it. It was all he ever dreamed about. There was nothing better than feeling and seeing the scene for himself.

Even if his cock ached for release and his body screamed for him to do something about his own growing arousal, he was only ever focused on how close you were to cumming. The pitch of your moans changed and the way your body squirmed changed when you were getting close to that moment when the dams of pleasure broke. “Eyes on me, Little Lamb. I want to see your face when you cum...” He commanded.

You were powerless to deny him. Your eyes had been screwed shut since he started to vigorously thrust the toy into you cracked open only to see his free hand holding yet another toy. You heard it hum to life and as you started to comprehend what he was about to do, your whole body was set aflame in an onslaught of sensations as he pressed the vibrator against your sensitive clit.

You screamed, your whole body convulsing as he simultaneously shoved the toy as far as it would go into you, filling your hole. You wanted to look away, ashamed at how wantonly your body was reacting  under his ministrations. But his command remained firm in your mind and you forced yourself to look at him as you came undone, screaming his name and shuddering at the force of your orgasm.

There was a hunger in his eyes you never saw before. A primal energy that made you terrified of what he was capable of. Yet, the part that craved him and the company he gave overpowered that and you were thrown into a high of pleasure you hadn’t ever experienced. You couldn’t catch your breath as he was relentless in his trials. As soon as the brunt of your orgasm was over, he tossed the vibrator to the side, pulled the toy out of you and bent down to kiss your deeply.

“You did so well, Little Lamb...” he purred, once again assuming the image of a sex god you saw briefly before. “But I’m far from satisfied with just one trial.”

You mind went blank as you realized the night had only begun. You saw the array of ‘tests’ he had lined up and you knew you weren’t going to get much sleep at all. “Well, don’t let me get in the way of your experiments.”

The way the light caught his glasses when he pulled away made him look a hint maniacal. There was the barest trace of a smirk that played at the corner of his lips when he wrote a few quick notes in his little notebook. Once he was done, he picked up another pair of toys and assessed your still trembling body.

“I hope you’re ready, Little lamb… I’ve only just begun.”

Somehow, you had unknowingly unleashed a demon from within him.

[houseofhurricane]

20 Questions Writer’s Edition

@gripefroot, thank you for the tag! 🧡

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

4

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

150, 310. BUT I only started on AO3 this year. Before my 9 year hiatus from fanfiction, I posted exclusively on my livejournal, which, read at your own risk, I guess?

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

I had to go to my old Livejournal tags for the answer, which is 10 -- ACOTAR, Parks & Recreation, Community, Chuck, Law & Order UK (for some reason, only the UK edition?), Life On Mars, Ashes to Ashes, House, Doctor Who, Harry Potter

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

There are only 4, but, in order, they're:

Bloom & Bone (Elain/Tamlin, Vassa/Lucien) aren't you scared (well that's just fine) (Gwynriel with a side of Emorie) the pilgrim soul in you (Vassien) as the heart grows bolder (Helion/Lady of Autumn)

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to respond to all of them, because I really appreciate anybody who takes the time to comment on my writing! I'm not at 100%, but close.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Lately, that would be as the heart grows bolder, but I did write some extremely angsty House fic circa 2006 that I hope never again sees the light of day.

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Bloom & Bone! After I finished my first draft, I thought it might be too happy, but I stand by it. It's definitely the happiest ending I've ever written, though.

8. Do you write crossovers? If yes, what’s the craziest thing you’ve written?

No, which is kind of funny given that my dream scenario is all of my friends being friends with each other.

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not that I can remember! Which is kind of wild, given that I just finished writing a big Elain/Tamlin fic and also once wrote Martha/Master Doctor Who fic.

10. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes but tasteful? I wrote my first intense s*x scene where everyone had a good time a few months ago and I loved it. Before that, I'd written either quick scenes or they were extremely literary and no one enjoyed themselves.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

This is embarrassing, but a "friend" once stole a paragraph from one of my fics... and I left them a comment complimenting them on it, only to realize what had happened a few months later. I never spoke to that person again.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but if you ever want to translate my fics, that would be amazing!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Once! I'm down to do it again in the future, though.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

The thing about me is that I ship every ship when I really think about it.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Nine years ago, I wrote a Community AU where Jeff was Annie's law school professor and only got halfway through -- I still like it but I think too much time has passed.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

Writing beautiful sentences and developing characters.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

I hate writing battle scenes and always try and find a way to break them down into smaller pieces or avoid the battle through diplomacy. Anything to avoid having to learn military strategy.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

This is interesting because a lot of my original fiction deals with Cubans and Cuban-Americans, who speak a lot of Spanish. So I've thought about this issue a lot. I try to only use another language if it's essential to the story or character, or if the word/phrase only exists in that language. For example, in Spanish there's "aprovecha!" which literally translates to, "take advantage of your favorable situation!" and that's just not the same thing. I try to provide translations when it flows in the story, but I don't always do this specifically for Spanish (or French, on the rare occasion when I use it) because it's relatively easy to look up.

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter, which I now feel weird about given everything we know about JKR.

20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Currently, it's aren't you scared? (well that's just fine). Something about Gwyn really, really clicked for me in that fic, and although I literally wrote it in a morning, I'm very proud of it. I'm working on a longer Gwynriel fic at the moment, and I think it's even better -- I can't wait until it's ready to share.

[unsettledink]

Back in the days of LJ, I used to try and do a post at the end of each year, looking back primarily at fandom and fic. I fell out of the habit when everything moved to tumblr, and then it seemed like I didn’t have anything to say since I wasn’t writing or really participating any. 

But I always liked the idea of it, because I love to be overly reflective on stuff. And talk about my fic. Any excuse! I shuffled around some of the topics I used back then and added a few I’ve seen around that I liked. It got… long, because I TALK, so I split into two sections. 

*

Your main fandom of the year? 

    Marvel (MCU) for sure. Primarily with characters from Spider-Man and Iron Man movies.

Your favorite film watched this year?

    The Old Guard - I saw a couple trailers and everything about it looked like catnip. ‘It’s probably going to be so dumb, but I don’t even care,’ I thought. And then it was so good. It was so much fun and so much smarter than I expected and I loved each and every character and it just made me happy in so many ways.

Your favorite book read this year?

    Red, White, and Royal Blue, Casey McQuiston - I read it twice this year actually. It’s so… cute isn’t the right world. Sweet and hopeful and soft and comforting and intense. I liked every single character which is pretty rare. I cried during the sad parts and then again at the happy ending, like straight up sobbed - both times. I already want to read it again.

Your favorite tv show watched this year?

    Schitt’s Creek - I started it on a whim and because a lot of people had said it was good. The episodes were short so it wasn’t a huge time investment. The first season was a little rough, but there were enough funny moments that I hung on, and then… I kept getting fonder and fonder of these idiots as they grew. And THEN… it kept not disappointing me? 

     You grow to expect certain scripts, twists, jokes, especially in queer story lines. To wait for the bad thing to happen, because it always does. Instead, Schitt’s Creek kept going, ‘hey, here’s the set up for that! Guess what? We’re not doing it. Here’s the happy version instead.’ The relief of having that happen again and again - the last season I’ve watched (I’m sort of saving 6) I cried a bunch but it was always because I was happy. 

Your favorite album or song to listen to this year?

    1896 - I’ve been waiting for the new Steam Powered Giraffe album so eagerly for aaaaaages. Finally getting recordings of Zero’s songs! Lying Awake remains my favorite off the album, with Eat Your Heart and Bad Days on the Horizon high up there as well. I’m loving what Zero brings to the band.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?

    I don’t know if I really did discover that much? I stuck pretty closely to old fandoms and the ones I picked up in 2019. Maybe Zodiac? It was definitely inspiring, and I want to write and read more in it. 

    Maybe the couple discords I joined? I still really dislike discord and am not on there much, and mostly lurk when I am, but having somewhere vaguely like the comms I remember makes me feel a little less isolated. It’s the potential, that maybe if I said something I might make a friend, or someone might actually want to hear what I say. 

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?

    The Watch - I mean, I knew it was going to be a disaster with every word said during pre production. I wasn’t ever going to be happy with it. And then it came out and was even worse and uglier and … disrespectful not just of the source material but of actual people connected to Terry. I’m beyond disappointed that this is what we got, and it’s probably going to be a long time before we get anything else. 

    Devil All the Time was terrible, but I didn’t have especially high hopes. It still didn’t manage to meet them. Yikes.

The most missed of your old fandoms?

    Maybe MASH? Someone I follow started talking about it and I was reminded all over again of the wonderful fics in that fandom. I went looking and a lot are gone (still on my computer, lol, but not online), but rereading was such a trip. A slightly depressing trip, but still. 

The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?

    Hmm. I’ve kind of not had the energy to invest in other fandoms at the moment? When The Witcher was having it’s big moment back in January, I had a feeling I might enjoy it enough to fall headfirst into the fandom, so I avoided watching it. Ikr? I don’t have the time or the energy to actively seek anything out. 

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?

    SO EXCITED about Winter’s Orbit. I mean, the third Spider-Man movie for sure, with worry. The second Venom movie, ugh yes. I have tentative hopes for Jungle Cruise? Jumanji was stellar and I always enjoy Dwayne. I have both hope and dread for the new Suicide Squad - I did love Birds of Prey, so if it’s along those lines, yay. The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard because it should be some fun garbage, my favorite kind. I don’t know how I feel about Dune, but, uh, I’m anticipating it. It seems highly unlikely it will actually happen, but The Wheel of Time TV series. 

I want to be excited about Black Widow but it’s hard. It’s not the story I’ve been wanting to see, and I’m angry about Natasha not getting a movie until she’s dead.

You know. If any of it is released for real.

The Good: 

I moved to a better place. I got a better paying, better benefits, better environment job that lets me work from home. The house acquired 3-7 more cats depending on the month. I was able to get some serious problems on my car fixed. I have insurance and was able to start on some health stuff. No one I know got sick or died. I wrote a LOT.

The Bad: 

Aside from the obvious? Depression hitting extra hard during the winter. Having to put two kittens to sleep. Have my car be hit three times in our parking lot. Being driven INSANE by one of the cats for months while the vets were all closed. Kidney stone. Dealing with several health problems. Stalling for months on Gotcha.

The Indifferent: 

Not leaving the house often or easily. Enjoying a new fandom but not doing great at making connections (still real awkward, bud). Raising kittens and saying goodbye. Need new tires. Reading a lot of fic but not a lot of books. Having more pay but more expenses as well (wth insurance??). 

*

2020 fic stats

Number of stories: 39

Number of fandoms: 6? Or 2, if you cluster the others under mcu

Total number of words: 152049

Average word count per story: 4kish

Longest fic: Causality (18k, P/Q)

Shortest fic: Can’t, Won’t (1k, P/Q)

Most comments received: Sieche (49, T/P)

Fandom you wrote the most of: MCU Spider-Man - I only wrote TWO fics that didn’t feature that fandom, wow. And one of those was still MCU.

Fandom you wrote the least of: Zodiac (1!)

Events you participated in: Marvel Trumps Hate, Kinktober, IornspidersGeorg Exchange, Starker Festivals Exchange, MCU Secret Santa, Spiderio Big Bang

*

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?

    SO MUCH MORE OMG. I mean, even just counting posted stuff! (I probably wrote a solid 300k of Gotcha this year.) I did not expect or plan on doing Kinktober, so that’s a whole 31 fics right there. I also wasn’t planning on doing any exchanges - I have a History - but then I did three? And beyond that, I did not expect for everything to get so LONG.

Topic you wrote that you would never have predicted in January:

    Tony/Quentin. Goddammit @the-me09 They were like hey, they could be interesting! And while I agreed, I had no ideas for them. THEN they had to go and write Just Bodies That Collide and next thing I know, I’ve got ten fics featuring them and two-six series focused on them or Peter/Quentin/Tony. What the fuck. 

Leitmotif of the year:

    Vulnerability, I think. I had a bunch of things typed up and they all circle back to vulnerability in the end; sex, being seen, being wanted, sharing trauma, asking for help, trying something new. Offering a soft spot in the hopes it won’t be hurt. 

Favorite character to write about: 

    Tony Stark, for sure. There are just a bunch of slightly different takes, and a lot of canon to work with (kind of frustrating too though). And I’m a sucker for emotionally damaged snarky traumatized characters that are viewed poorly both in universe and out. 

Favorite kind of fic to write:

    This year? Fluff and smut combined. Maybe that’s not the right term really. I keep looking for and writing, even in the angstiest fics, for those soft moments. Sure, maybe it’s a super smutty kink scene, but I want the affection to be obvious. Maybe everyone is consumed by guilt, but I want it to be based in caring too much. Maybe there’s no real love, just sex and even that’s messed up, but I want to find that tiny bit of fondness. 

    And I want happy endings. Or endings that look like they’re going to be happy, at least, even if there’s all the angst first. I don’t think I’ve killed anyone this year? Who AM I? 

Biggest disappointment:

    Not finishing the rough draft of Gotcha. I was making such good progress in 2019, from August to December. Even after the move, I basically finished part 6 in January. I fumbled around and fussed with 1 a lot, but that had already been given one draft, really, and I got through half of 4 before I slowed to a stop. I’ve barely gotten anything accomplished on it since June. Bits and pieces here and there, but nothing significant, not like I was doing. I can excuse October, due to 80k invested in Kinktober (yikes!), but aside from that… I’m sad. I’ll finish it eventually, but I really thought I could have the first draft done in a year. I’m sitting at about 480k out of what I’m almost certain will be 700k. 

Biggest surprise:

    Kinktober! It was kind of spur of the moment, decided just a week in advance. I’ve tried month long or even like, 20-25 day long challenges and I don’t think I’ve ever completed one. I thought there was a good chance I’d do so again, so I gave myself a little help and made my own list of prompts, things I knew I liked and hadn’t done much of yet. And it worked? I actually completed it, what the hell? Despite spending five days travelling near the end! Despite falling behind in getting ahead and writing a bunch of stories the day they were to be posted! Despite apparently forgetting how to do short form! 

    I, uh, could have done without the spawning of eleven series or sequels or continuations jfc WHY SELF.

Something you learned this year:

    Ideas breed ideas. I swear to god, the second I sit down to think through a current idea, I wake up the next morning with three more. 

    Words need to be restocked. I need to consume new - not rereads, not fic - content every so often to refresh my word bank. It is astonishing how quickly writing goes again after I’ve done so.

    I can write so much more than I thought I could. I can do so much more than I thought I could. Yes, I can complete challenges without dropping out early. Yes, I can do exchanges and not regret it. Yes, I can write more than 100k, more than 200k, more and more - and I can write 10k+ easily too. Though I wouldn’t mind if I could once again write less than 10k without feeling like I’ve cut off in the middle. 

    My time is shrinking, and if I want to write as much, I’m going to have to make the time. I can’t rely on three days off a week, on seven hours of uninterrupted overnight shifts, on hyper focused writing binges that leave everything else around me on fire. 

Most memorable comment: 

    So, so many! I can’t pick one. I’ve been really lucky to get a bunch of really detailed, enthusiastic, analyzing comments across all different fics. One of the types that always sticks with me are the ones like ‘I didn’t think/know I liked this ship/kink/twist, but fuck, apparently I do? You made me, what the hell?’. 

What, if anything, are you going to try to do differently in your writing in the new year?

So with writing Gotcha but not posting until it’s done, my view of what I’ve written vs anyone else’s is extremely skewed. I’m sitting here thinking, hey I’m 400k in and got another 10k done today, so much writing! While anyone looking at my AO3 account (for most of the year) is like, you’re averaging three months between fics :(

    All that to say I want to try and get something posted more frequently while I’m working on Gotcha.

    Also, writing for kinktober was really interesting - pushing myself to write every single day, often for that day’s post, forced me to get back into shorter form fic. Which used to be all I did? But it was surprisingly hard to just stop and not write more. So I’d like to challenge myself to write more fics under 10k at least. Maybe even under 5k though that might be asking a lot lol. I might get there with the many continuations of those fics I’d like to do. Does that count?

Goals:

   I want to hit 365 fics. :) I’m only 32 away!

    Aside from writing - 

    I’ve really enjoyed the reading record sideblog I started this year. I’ve let it lapse a little the past month or so, but I’d like to keep it going strong. 

    I’d like to leave a lot more comments. I want to get better about allowing imperfection - I want to write The Best Comment, but in the end? Probably 90% of fic writers are going to be happier with a comment expressing enjoyment in any way over no comment at all. 

And not just on fics, but on general posts as well. It’s hard not to feel… weird and stupid and invasive and rude leaving any sort of comment on someone’s post if I don’t know them at least a little. I have godawful rejection sensitive dysphoria and a lot of interactions that ended poorly; I’m really not good at people. But as dumb as it feels to say those things, I know I am thrilled and warmed and happier when there’s a reblog with tags or a note or a comment or an ask or just, any small interaction that shows someone out there notices and cares, at least a little. There’s no reason I can’t at least try to offer that to other people. 

    I’d like to make/run a couple challenges of my own, later in the year. I’m still figuring out what I want to do and what I could do. I’m really interested in doing something that’s not focused on creators, but the readers; some sort of comment or rec challenge maybe.

    I want to find a cheerleader for Gotcha. I’m struggling to keep up my motivation to write it when it’s already in my head, where I can ‘read’ it any time. There’s a line between depending too much on external validation and trying to generate all your validation yourself, and I’m getting to a point where I think I need to ask for help (gasp! The hardest thing EVER). 

*

(Part Two: Pick Some Fics)