#first relapse
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the whiplash of also like “i want to talk to my dad/guardians about how im not exactly thriving” and then ‘
“I cant tell them becuase they’d have to know All of why the current bills/enviroment make it so im not exactly thriving is uh”
its fun
we love it here/s
#personal#whine whine whine#being in the closet like 'we will support you whatever you do' me : respectuflly no sir you will not#and like they dont even Know that i know they wont#its..its great we love it here/s#ill be fine#preacher kid tag#it sucks because dads actually reaching out to me and i miss him a lot#i can tell him not being the one to stay at home bc of the separation is like at least fifty percent of why i had that#first relapse#but also#....i see how you talk about things pops trust me i know more than yuo
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(The rest is under the readmore!)
(Next part) ->
#breaking news: local man is confronted with the fact that if he uses dumb contests as an excuse to avoid emotional vulnerability —#then his partner is going to do the exact same thing lol#also covid update: I had a bit of a relapse and have been completely stuck in bed again the last couple days#am still definitely doing better than before but remain very very fatigued#apparently changing my bedsheets was a little much for me lol#anyway thank you to the people who have sent in asks the last couple days!! I am very excited to get to them#I just had to get this self indulgent comic out of my system first lololol#bsd#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#soukoku#skk#bungou stray dogs#my art
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betrayal
#marble hornets#klyde art#totheark#betrayal (the first person ive considered a friend has been stealing my medication and orchestrating my relapses)#and betrayal (tim left me to join jay)#i dont like this drawing but im not satisfied in any of my drawings depicting the totheark dynamic#but it is too important not to consider#bah idek
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Summer/ beachy thinsp0
<3
all found on pinterest 📍- dm for removal
#skinandbones#ana is my friend#ed rant#light as a feather#thin$po#thinneristhewinner#pro for me not for thee#thinspø#thinspp#this is what makes us girls#summer#body goals#pinterest#first post#@tw edd#ed ednotsheeran restriction#ed relapse#tw ed but not sheeran#tw ed sheeran#skinnyyy#skin and 🦴#@na shit#@n@ buddy#@n@ diary#@n@ tips#@na motivation#@na vent#@na rules#@nor3xia#@nor3×14
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starting a 2nd run be like
#best boy on first try girl failure on the second#lowered the quality for the extra spicy effect#im so fuking sorry Kim but i gotta relapse for the funnies please forgive me#disco elysium#kim kitsuragi#harry du bois#volition#half right#electrochemistry#yea#meme#disco elysium memes
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Have you ever drawn gyutaro or daki? 🤔
m. maybe..
[PROBABLY OLD (SORT OF BAD AND SKETCHY) ART UNDER CUT]
they deserve to be happy. I wish we could've seen how they are outside of battle and somewhere like an upper moon meeting.
i really liked how they were to each other. i cried like a baby during their episode. i love that daki has full confidence that her brother will always protect her no matter what and that gyutaro knows daki will always try to do the same for him even if she'll most likely end up losing or get in more trouble because of it and loves her anyway.
It's a double-edged sword.. shE WENT TO HELL FOR HIM. DJKSAFEKJ REJECTING SALVATION??? CAUSE YOU MADE A PROMISE WITH YOUR BIG BROTHER??? BC TOGETHER YOURE THE STRONGEST????? OH FUCK IM GONNA cRYRFHE
dawg, im actually going to cry. shut the fuck up. SIBLINGS. SIBLINGS!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVED THEIR RELATIONSHIP SO MUCH, DAWG..........
and ofc, gyutaro head locked my heart
ofc i drew gyuatro, my cult member, HE WAS ONE OF MY BRAIN ROTS
I DREW THIS MAN LIKE MY LIFE WAS ON THE LINE. SKETCH BOOK, TABLET, PHONE, THE CORNERS OF MY NOTEBOOKS, NAPKINS, YOU FUCKING NAME IT. i just wish i could finish drawings......... sobs..........
I WAS YOUNGER AND IN SCHOOLING SO I THOUGHT ITD BE COOL TO HAVE A TUTOR AU WITH GYUTARO SET IN KIMETSU NO GAKUEN WHERE HE TUTORS FOR MONEY...... CAUSE I HEADCANON HIM TO BE A FAST LEARNER?? HE JUST DOESNT GIVE HIMSELF ENOUGH CREDIT CAUSE HES INSECURE AND SOBS.... HE ONLY THINKS HES GOOD FOR BEING UGLY AND SCARING PPL AWAY AND FIGHTING. AGHGHGHHH
THIS FEELS LIKE IM LOOKING BACK ON PHOTOS OF MY PAST LOVER...... GYUTARO..... MY BELOVED... I JUST WANTED HIM PAMPERED...............
SHUT THE FUCK UP //CRIES INTO MY HANDS
HOW DID YOU CLOCK ME SO FUCKING FAST???? DOES IT SHOW ON MY FACE???? IS IT A TELL IM NOT AWARE OF????????
#null rot#null brainwash#kimetsu no yaiba#kny#demon slayer#gyutaro#gyutaro shabana#shabana gyutaro#daki#daki shabana#shabana daki#DAWG HOW DID YOU KNOW HE WAS MY PREVIOUS OBSESSION IM SCREAMING INTO MY HANDS#THIS STAYS BETWEEN US. ONLY ON FUCKING TUMBLR.. I CANT LET BITCHES KNOW I RELAPSE TO DEMON SLAYER WITH DIFFERENT GUYS..#HES SO PERFECT TOO DAWG I CANT#MY FIRST.......#SOBS HARDER#AND DAKI TOO SHE WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY AND ANNOYIGN DUDE#SHES SO STUPID AND MEAN BUT SO FUCKING CARING FOR GYU SHUT UP#SHUT THE FUCK UP#MY TASTE IN MEN JUST GOT WORSE. GODDD GODDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#iM SO EMBARRASSED CAUSE BEFORE NORITOSHI IT WAS HIM.. IM SCREAMING#i also really dislike showing unfinished work but hey. momma didnt raise a bitch#ALSO I AM ALIVE. MY PC HAS JUST BEEN RUNNING INTO ISSUES AND IM TRYING SO HARD TO PUMP OUT THIS NEXT POST#IM PROMISING MYSLEF TO NOT POST ANYTHING ELSE UNTIL THEN
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jeff … can you drop the restraining order please jeff think of the children (me)
#gonna say it even if it might be controversial…#the fact that Bam got dropped from Jackass 4 for not following his contract by relapsing is kinda insane and insensitive#considering this a show that a lot of addicted people worked on#like putting it IN HIS CONTACT is crazy lol#not that im excusing bam literally threatening jeff and his family but its just very inconsiderate TO MEE that#that clause was put in there in the first place#whatever I think steve o and chris are cool with bam so at the very least we have that…#hoping one day they can like… work it out on the remix or Whatever#jeff tremaine#bam margera#mine#meme#jackass
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the next thing they'll be involved with, Logan will be drinking and gets told by a non-Wade "I'm here to save you from Deadpool" or some funny shit like that. Toss in a mention about incursions or Wade's 'higher purpose' having no place for Logan. Watch Logan laugh.
#becoming ever so fond of the idea#of Logan The Worst Wolverine being so valuable to any universe that he just can't be left in domestic peace#He could be great. he's BEEN great#an incredible man who only wants to stay at home#that's protagonist behavior#Logan would have been so settled and at peace w himself by this point#he'll negotiate first. He'll try to boil things down harmlessly#any hostiity to him can get to his and Wade's family after all#no the mother bear instinct. claws and all. they come out when Logan is forcibly taken from that universe.#idk i get giddy imagining it#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wolverine#logan howlett#deadpool 3#wade wilson#poolverine#deadclaws#deadpool 2024#logan would be drinking just for the sake of drinking btw#no particular tragedy except for maybe relapsing into depression and needing to self-regulate#but he's good#“his 'higher purpose' is protecting his friends. when he finds you sneaking around in his universe he'll tell you the same thing. trust me.#cut to “my higher purpose is being held lovingly by Thor. and protecting my friends. why are you here?”#give Logan some line like “the saving goes both ways. we're done with all that shit. walk away now”#lmao it might probably be wade who's guns first talk later then#the only time his mouth will run quicker than he can draw his weapons is if he can find opportunities to annoy somebody
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i've been screaming internally about this the whole DAY
#rp stuff#doodles#i cant believe this is my first art of 2024#hkjdhsg#the joker#jokerzura#clxwnprinceofcrime#selfship#RAAAAAH WHAT THEFUCKKK GHFDKGJHDFG#i can't talk to him. i m going to relapse so bad
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simon saying he wants to be become ice king again is so in character it’s agonising. he wore the crown again and again to begin with so he could save a girl, even if it meant the horror of losing himself and driving away every last person he cared about. he spent over a thousand years in that state, practically lost and replaced. almost nobody knew who he used to be, not even him. the new world wasn’t jarring, because this was how it had always been for ice king, for a thousand years, for the forever that he could process. he had his place in the system and he wasn’t *happy*, but he slid into the chaos of ooo as his state of mind deteriorated.
then he’s cognisant again. but the love of his life is dead. and it truly sinks in that even though he is back, the ice king would never give back the time he took from him. the world he knew slipped away while he forgot it, and he’s left as an outsider who can’t even find solace in his own species, one that moved on without him. he has to sit with everything ice king did. everything that took from him. every way that hurt others. every moment of sickening confusion and loss and pain. and those who could never feel the gravity tell him again and again that he was so much cooler and fun back then! that he’s just some lame old guy now, such a downer! always on about some girl, or staring off sadly! who would want to mope with him at a bar rather than party with the ice king, right?
marcaline doesn’t even rely on him anymore. grown and independent now. grown when he wasn’t there to see it. it’s not like anybody else needs him either, and what does he have to give now, anyway? he tries and tries to bring his girlfriend back and every time he’s smacked in the face. he’s so tired. he’s so, so tired. he wouldn’t half mind being the ice king again, because even with the pain of that, at least he wouldn’t be capable of thinking about these things anymore. he would have powers that could help people again. he would be fun and charismatic and free from being cognisant. even better than dying, he could make people happy this way too. two birds with one stone, in his eyes. at least the ice king has a reason to be alive.
it becomes a third bird when fionna *needs* this. it’s not the only plausible solution, but it’s a damn clean one. her problems will be fixed, fixed with the crown the way that simon used to fix every problem all those years ago. the most reliable shortcut. he’ll be free from life, and the world will get their *beloved* ice king back. the events of 1000 years ago can repeat, but this time he’ll never seek a cure.
of course this is a flawed view, and i can’t remotely see this being the endgame for his arc, and it could *never* be portrayed as the right course of action. falling into that old pattern and life would be a monumental act of self harm in an attempt to escape himself, and it would leave marcaline in pieces to see him relapse and lose himself all over again in that last ditch effort. it’s genuinely a simultaneous act of relapse and suicide, and though it’s so clear why he’s reached this point, i do NOT believe this series will end with him re-becoming the ice king. and if it does, it will be a horrifying event, not a happy culmination of his character arc.
#suicide tw#relapse tw#i’m probably missing something because it’s 3am#(around the time i write all my character analysis)#but fuck it man#i’ve got simon petrikov on the brain#my favourite part about tv-14 fionna and cake isn’t the swearing or blood#(even if it’s a fun bonus)#it’s the fact that they’re going head first into tackling such heavy themes#and they are going to TOWN with it#fionna and cake#adventure time#fionna and cake spoilers#also this is all just My Interpretation#again it’s 3am so if anything’s off the mark then sue me ig <3
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From (2022) - Kristi and Marielle
#fromedit#from epix#from kristi#from marielle#chloe van landschoot#kaelen ohm#kristi x marielle#femslash related stuff#I will say that despite my initial doubt at chloe's interview#at just how much kristi would be about mari vs kenny#given the first season#kristi has been very much about mari!#I guess we can assume her initial reaction to finding out mari had relapsed was fear and anger#with herself
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if i had a nickel for every time a character came back from the dead and a character immediately reacted with anger instead of wondering how unsafe they were that they had to go undercover, i'd have 2 nickels which isn't a lot but its weird that it happened twice!
#chaos theory spoilers#brooklynn jwcc#kenji kon#chaos theory#jurassic world chaos theory#spencer reid#emily prentiss#criminal minds#yk i understand reid was angry. i get that!! he had a right to be angry!!#BUT#if my best friend came back from the dead#the first thing i would NOT say to her and my father figure who hid it#is#“you almost made me relapse 🥰”#that was kinda bitchy#and really fucking mean#like she had to go undercover. that dude was going to finish the job.#i do like reid but that was absolutely horrible of him to say
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hot take? i don't think blurryface is going to be "defeated" by the end of the lore. he might be the villain of the story but at the same time he's a living part of tyler as well. i think they'll win, but not completely eradicate the existence of blurryface. they might suppress him, or learn to peacefully coexist with him, or outgrow his influence or whatever - that's the "managing the tension" part. we also have to keep in mind that tyler is still struggling to some extent with his insecurities and vulnerabilities (though he's gotten much better ofc) and i think that aspect will be reflected in his art.
besides, they've said that some people might not like the ending, which insinuates we won't be getting a perfectly hunky-dory happy ending. i also don't think tyler is the type to give this kind of story a sunshines and rainbows type of closure.
the core message of twenty one pilots, although it has certainly evolved over the years, is that it's fine to be not okay, but you must fight for your survival. i think that the lore ending will leave us with the message that broken as we are, we have to stay alive AND push on through - and before you know it, you'll be in a much better place than when you first started.
#i feel like ive said this before so apologies if it sounds repetitive#i just had to get it out#and to add#i was in a godawful fucking state when i first started listening to tøp#but i am doing much much better now#i have friends i have a job i graduated i function fairly normally in life#but that doesnt mean my blurryface is gone#i still struggle and some parts of me feel perpetually broken#whats comforting though is that my ability to regulate my feelings and life have gotten much stronger#sometimes i do feel like ive relapsed and its terrible#'ive been praying for my elasticity to return to the way that it was'#but when that horrible moment passes i realize that i actually have become better and stronger#i keep myself alive and push on through#im still working on learning to lessen the burden i put on myself#and coexist with my blurryface#but i am getting somewhere#sorry for babbling and venting but what i wanted to say is that#i relate to where the trench story is going and itd make sense for blurry to still be there by the end of it all#just with less power over tyler#tøp#twenty one pilots#clancy#blurryface#my god these tags be so long lmfao
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Actually I need to talk about this real quick re chatting with Tiny about Vegeta: In the manga he's just generally reserved and observant, and his more Loud Villainous Behavior is an extreme reaction to feeling threatened by something Specific, but Toei writes him like he's threatened by everything.
Like, his behavior in the android saga reflects how he was panicking on Earth when Goku wouldn't just die, which makes sense! Dude was a highly successful imperial lord now getting slow-roasted in peaceful earth customs for a year after being revived by mistake, then he's told he's the first one to die in an attack three years from now, then he's told he's gonna be a father in half that time, and then finds out that future kid is his future kid and he came back in time to make sure Goku didn't die, because that's the life that's going to make a difference!!
kicking biting scratching clawing snapping growling and putting in overtime to make sure everyone, especially himself, understands that he Does Not Care About These People and regain some kind of control over his life/self is pretty normal in abused abducted scared stressed people. Which is exactly what happened when Goku came back in the Buu saga. Vegeta realized he had 24 hours (and one (1) fight) to validate all of the time he's spent working his ass off between that very first retreat and now, and he gets desperate and spirals overthinking about how he's not who he was anymore.
Goku has to tell him to his face that he knows he cares about his family when he's trying to do what he did in the android saga, back when nobody knew him well enough to call him a liar. But that's the great and infuriating thing about Goku in the manga, he lacks all sense of formality and shares Honest Observations with his Whole Chest, so Vegeta knows if Goku points something out, it's the truth (which is also why it was such a big deal that he lied to Krillin in Super but I digress!!), which is what makes him resign to that truth (Which is also visited again in Super, that Vegeta is not who he used to be. The difference is that, by then, he's smiling when he says it).
Anyway this is me once again being old man yell at clouds about how Vegeta is done SO dirty throughout the anime old and new, and it kneecaps so much of his character arc, and why the other characters want him around at all, much less for over a decade (because !! he's NOT a dick all the time, turns out!! He's clever and grounded and highly controlled and extremely competent most of the time!! Even ROSHI points out Vegeta's Majin behavior isn't like him. Which is how he survived the Freeza Force for thirty goddamn years, Toei. I can't beLIEVE you would cut out the casual water cooler banter between Geets and Freeza while Goku's sitting there bleeding out what's wrONG with you that is the funniest part of the movie askldjas)
#the way Toriyama had to keep beating “Vegeta is a Chronic Overthinker” as a theme over the head because Toei keeps deciding he's volatile#“Nope no he does not just fly off the handle on a whim his problem is actually that he hesitates and freezes when he gets too in his head”#and before folks are like 'tHat's jUst sUper' nope! no. That's NAMEK. That started when he realized he was in over his head against freeza#and it's happened several times since!! because that fateful day bROKE him and he wasn't numb anymore.#the manga even said that was The First Time In His Life Vegeta *ever shed a tear*. 30 years in. First Time.#and everything that happened to him afterward has been relapse and recovery and learning and trying and failing and trying again#aNYWAY#dbtag
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When will my dads (dan and phil) come back from the war (upload a new gaming video)
#its the gamingmas relapse#dan and phil#daniel howell#phil lester#first post of the year can u believe
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MY BEANIES
Og i thought the yellow was cool though
#my first real fanart sorry im having a relapse#8:11#art created by me#BTW IF U WANT YO UR OCS OR ANY OTHER CHARACYERS AS BEANIE BABIES HMU ON MY ASK BOX
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