#first read either Doctor Who or Ashes to Ashes

[partywithponies]

Fanfic writers reblog this and say in the tags which fandom you first read fic for, and which h you first wrote for.

[cerastes]

What's your take on MumuDoc in Lonetrail?

Muelsyse in Lone Trail felt, in many ways, like seeing someone diving in a pool, and at first, you're not alarmed. They know how to swim. You don't really think much of it. But then a minute passes, and they are still underwater. Concern sinks in, and you make your way to the pool, and as you're about to jump in, their head surfaces, they are back up. They cough, they tough it out, and are a bit nervous about diving again, but you're going in the pool with them now, and they feel more at ease.

Take this, intensify it a hundredfold, stretch it a hundredfold, and scrutinize it a hundredfold, and you end up with Muelsyse, in her barest form, like a diamond born from a chunk of charcoal that had too much pressure put on it.

I can see Muelsyse's dynamic with Doctor being romantic. I can see Muelsyse's dynamic with Doctor not being romantic. Both are fine interpretations, if you ask me, I mean, her theme song is very much a love song, and at the same time, she feels desperate to find anyone who can just... Empathize in even the slightest of ways to her. Either read is fine, outright discounting either feels a tad disingenuous.

Alienation. Complete and utter alienation, an edge sharper and more injurious than isolation. This is, if you ask me, the main theme surrounding the Rhine Lab arc and cast.

Saria is alienated. She cannot find common ground with anyone else around her for the longest time. She used to have a shared dream with Kristen, but that bridge has burned and frozen and turned to ash all over. Kristen is alienated. She simply cannot see a point to anything except that obsessive doggedly persistent dream of hers, and it has been weighted more important than her humanity. Joyce is alienated. Forever a partial prisoner in her own head, there are few and far between that will ever put up with the unique intricacies of having to deal with someone that talks like her, has sudden Oripathy attacks like her, and falls asleep on the spot seemingly at random like her, fully cognizant of how high maintenance she can be on others. Ho'olheyak is alienated. On borrowed time, without kin or friend to call her own, living for a transcending mission far bigger than her and so, so small in the overarching beats of a world that can't be bothered to stop for her. Silence. Ifrit. Dorothy. Tin Man. I could go on. Alienated, all of them. Not isolated, because isolation would imply the lack of physical company. This is far colder, far darker. It's alienation. It's seeing the other side of the cliff, and no possibility of a bridge to connect it to your end of the cliff. Isolation stings, it's a pain you know is there. Alienation drowns, because you can see the surface, but you are convinced you'll never make it there, and it's a hundredfold worse.

Muelsyse is no different. Muelsyse is alienated, and goodness she has tried and tried and tried, she swims so, so hard to reach the surface, but she can't reach it. Being in Rhine Labs necessarily means you need to resort to some cutthroat cloak and dagger, it becomes routine, all for an ultimate goal, but is that ultimate goal even possible? With every step taken by Muelsyse, it seems two new steps materialized at the end of the staircase. Everyone she's met, for years now, has either been someone looking to use her, or someone she can use for her own advantage. Usually simultaneously. And it's in this context, when the 9 to 5 becomes tricking, blackmailing, snuffing and silencing that by chance, she comes across someone, possibly the sole person, that can actually understand the sheer weight on her shoulders: Doctor, someone who doesn't own their own past, but is shackled by it, someone who has no one to relate to, someone surrounded by sufficiently similar but ultimately infinitely different people to themselves, someone who by all means should be drowning in the same pool as her, but somehow, this person reached the surface. It's very easy to see why she'd become so utterly fascinated by this person, who shares many similarities with her, and yet, who seemingly has it so good, has it so sweet. It could have easily been jealousy, but end of the day, Muelsyse IS a sweet person. Yeah, she plays it up, always so cheerful and whimsical, but end of the day, Muelsyse is playing up something that is already there in the first place. Instead of jealousy, it brought her happiness, because maybe, just maybe, she could enjoy a bit of that je ne sais quoi that Doctor seems to have in spades and she is completely bankrupt of.

The first interactions between Muelsyse and Doctor are telling of this overwhelming rush of emotion: Muelsyse less talks with Doctor and more talks at them. She vomits words, emotion, whimsy, as if trying to put these emotions into words and actions after so long, emotions that was ready to never need to put into words in the first place. It eventually becomes a dialogue between two parties, but Muelsyse's interactions with Doctor are initially extremely one-sided, and they remain one-sided to some degree even moving forward. It was heartwrenching to me, honestly, to see the sheer joy Muelsyse radiated while around Doctor, because that is an almost manic amount of joy simply from possibly finding someone that gets it. Muelsyse has not had a bridge in so, so long, and suddenly, the finds someone that not only resembles her a lot, but also seems to have bridges in spades. Muelsyse and Doctor's dynamic should never be considered in a vacuum just between the two of them: One of the first things Muelsyse saw with her own eyes was that Doctor had a pretty friendly relationship, mutual respect included, with Saria. That, is immediately very telling of Doctor, given that Muelsyse understands exactly how difficult that is. We also know Muelsyse sneaks around Rhodes Island and chats with Ifrit now and then, and Ifrit also expressly has a very high opinion of Doctor. It simply makes sense that Muelsyse would feel as enthusiastic about her Dorothy's Vision brush with Doc, and all that Lone Trail entailed: It's terribly sad, because they don't even know each other, and even then, it's the shiniest ray of hope for herself that Muelsyse has had the chance to bask in: Doctor's essence, Doctor's existence, in and of itself, is a massive beacon of hope for Muelsyse.

And it's so damn sad, that this perfect stranger is the most familiar comrade she'll ever find.

Is this romantic love? Hell, the molotov cocktail of emotions involved might as well be, either now or in potentially in the future. Is it something unhealthily dependent? Yeah... Yeah. It might just be the euphoria of knowing that she can reach the surface, after all, that bridges, too, are possible for her to have, with not underlying motive, with no ulterior motive, without needing to offer something or to extract something. To put in the most basic of terms, Doctor, to Muelsyse, might as well represent the very first person in who knows how long that she can relate to at all. It is an immensely sad emotional starvation, and she finally found something to sink her teeth onto.

This is personal, but the way Muelsyse struck me, it felt to me that when she had even the barest of handles on Doctor, she related to someone for the first time in forever, and it shook her to her very core. It may have been the first time she saw, in someone else, a potentially happy Muelsyse.

It's extremely bittersweet. If you've ever dealt with alienation, think back on the first time you found someone who truly "got you". Add to that the fact that her routine of interacting with people had become to see others as tools, and to always be on the lookout for those wishing to use and expend you as a tool. Then, add to that that there are definitely more Elves, but Muelsyse is so fundamentally different to them that the sheer differences in temperament and culture make it so it's impossible for her to relate to them anyway. What could be lonelier than that? It's called Lone Trail for a reason, because alienation is a main theme for all of these people.

In finding the sole person that could possibly relate to her in circumstance and temperament, it's easy to see where Muelsyse's interest in Doctor comes from. Whether you interpret it as romantic or otherwise, it can't be denied that this immensely strong interest exists. It comes from finally seeing a way to reach the surface after the world told her for decades that she simply could only drown. Because Doctor is the only other person that could understand her in being the last of their race and in having no past and maybe even no future, and yet, Doctor having so many bridges, while she has none. I think Muelsyse craves companionship, not necessarily romantic, from Doctor, and, this is important, also wants to have what they have, and be part of it, of so many bridges built without ulterior motives.

[lunarflux]

x: Thomas Shelby found his match in an information bookie who has eluded the grasp of the Peaky Blinders long enough to crumble their power over Birmingham. But at last, he found you. The ghost he'd been chasing was finally in front of him, but you were trickier than he expected. Dangerous, cunning - and a bit too much like himself. To buy your loyalty, he would have to sell his in equal measure. Loyalty for loyalty - blood for blood - how much were either of you willing to spill before the game changed entirely?

part 20: the bitter(sweet) truth

word count: 2,137

tag: @bruhidkjustwannaread | @rubyxx16 | @bellabarnes1378 | @johnmurphys-sass

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The betting shop was quiet, the usual bustle replaced by the low hum of tension that hung thick in the air. Tommy stood by the window, cigarette in hand, watching the gray Birmingham streets below.

Ever since you threatened Kennedy, Bingham's efforts had dimmed. At first, Tommy thought it was suspicious, but then he realized that your mentor played the game this way. He followed the rules, and it was only in the gray area in between where he pushed the boundaries. It would have been an admirable trait if it was anyone else.

Your mind shifted back into the place where it had been before Tommy found you. Always at work, always thinking, always strategizing. Every second you had to yourself, you were lost in thought, and Tommy found no way to pull you out of it. Only he and Polly were able to recognize what was happening beneath your firm face of efficiency—you were blocking everything out so you wouldn't feel anything. Working was your version of cocaine, the only thing that kept your mind from slipping back into that dark place that Tommy knew so well. He needed to find a way to snap you out of it, to bring you back as far as you were capable of going.

The door creaked open, and Arthur stepped in, already pulling a flask from his coat pocket.

“Are we starting early, or is this serious?” Arthur asked, leaning against the doorframe.

Tommy turned, flicking ash into a tray. “Ezra,” he said simply.

Arthur froze mid-swig, lowering the flask. He didn’t need more context. “What about him?” he asked carefully.

Tommy took a drag from his cigarette, exhaling slowly. “We need to settle something.”

Arthur frowned, swirling the liquid in his flask. “You want the truth, don't you? And you think digging into that’s gonna fix her?”

“I think she deserves to know the truth."

Arthur exhaled sharply. “And you’re sending me to London to find it.”

Tommy smirked faintly. “That’s right.”

Arthur sighed, his shoulders slumping. “Bloody hell. Fine. What am I looking for?”

“Ezra was taken to the hospital after she found him,” Tommy said, sliding a scrap of paper with an address across the desk. “Find the doctor. See what he knows.”

Arthur pocketed the paper, his flask still in hand. “And what if I find something she don’t want to hear?”

Tommy’s gaze hardened. “Then we deal with it. Like we always do.”

Arthur looked down to the floor with a soft grimace. “Does she know you’re sending me?”

“She doesn’t need to know yet. If this leads to nothing, we leave it buried. But if it doesn’t…”

Arthur sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “Fine. I’ll go. But you better hope there’s something worth finding.”

“There’s something else, Arthur.”

The eldest Shelby hesitated in anticipation as Tommy gave him a second scrap of paper, the name more unfamiliar than the last.

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London was suffocating in its own chaos, a sharp contrast to Birmingham’s rough edges. Arthur’s coat flapped against the cold wind as he approached the modest townhouse on the west side of town. The address matched, and the brass plaque on the door read Dr. James Selwyn.

Arthur knocked, his patience already wearing thin. It wasn’t long before the door creaked open to reveal a man in his late fifties, his spectacles perched precariously on his nose.

“Dr. Selwyn?” Arthur asked gruffly.

The doctor adjusted his glasses, his brow furrowing. “Yes? And you are?”

“Arthur Shelby,” he said, pushing past him into the house. “We need to talk.”

The doctor looked alarmed but closed the door behind him, following Arthur into the sitting room.

"Ezra Hargreaves. You treated him the night he died."

“I don’t know what this is about—”

Arthur grabbed him by the lapels, firmly squeezing the fabric in between his fingers before forcing a smile across his face. “Listen. I'm here on a bloody day job, so do not waste my time. Tell me about Ezra, and I'll be on my way, yeah?”

The doctor’s breath hitched, and he raised trembling hands.

Arthur released him, stepping back but keeping his glare fixed.

Dr. Selwyn adjusted his coat, his voice shaky as he began. “That was years ago... Mr. Hargreaves was brought to me. That much is correct. He was... Weak. He had just experienced a particularly bad seizure. Mr. Shelby, I don't understand—”

Arthur crossed his arms. “Continue.”

“Well, he was only coherent for a moment,” Selwyn said, his words tumbling out. “These things can happen, you know. Sometimes, they get better before they... Well.”

Arthur frowned. “And then what? He just dropped dead? Did he say anything?”

“Actually, yes. He spoke before he passed. It was a bit confusing at the time because his nurse had the same name, but he was adamant he see a woman named y/n. Said it was urgent.”

Arthur’s jaw tightened. “And did someone try to find her?”

“We assumed she'd be there or at least somewhere nearby as I was led to believe she was the one who sent for a doctor. Naturally, we sent some of the family friends who were there to fetch her. From what I understand, she was nowhere to be found. Like she disappeared into thin air. A ghost, maybe.”

Arthur’s eyes darkened, the pieces clicking into place. “Tell me, doc. Did he say anything else?”

Dr. Selwyn hesitated. “He said he needed to say goodbye. It was heartbreaking to be honest with you. He was lucid, but he wasn't really looking at anyone or speaking to any of us directly. He sounded so desperate to see her." His voice softened as he recalled the memory. He placed his hand on his chest, pressing down gently like his heart ached. "I'm afraid the sound of his voice haunts me every now and then. It's always quite somber here when we're unable to bring in loved ones before a patient passes. I do hope, wherever she is, she was able to grieve properly.”

Arthur took a step closer, his voice low and menacing. “Who was the man you sent to find y/n?”

The doctor looked up at Arthur, wincing. “I didn't know him personally, Mr. Shelby. He only said he was a friend of the family, an Alfred Bingham. That’s all I know.”

Arthur turned on his heel, slamming the door behind him as he left.

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Arthur stood on the front steps of the stately house on the edge of London, his hand hovering over the brass knocker. The house was grand, but it felt hollow, the kind of place where grief had left its fingerprints on the walls. He straightened his coat, knocked firmly, and waited.

The door creaked open, revealing a stooped older man with silver hair and weary eyes. There was something about Ezra’s father��his impeccable grooming, the perfectly pressed suit that seemed out of place in his own home, as though he still needed to present himself as a figure of authority. Arthur saw beyond the polished exterior. Frank’s face bore the weight of years spent grieving, the sharpness of his features dulled by regret and time. He regarded Arthur with a mixture of caution and resignation, his gaze lingering on the scar across Arthur’s cheek as if assessing the danger he might bring.

Arthur noticed the slight tremor in Frank’s hand as he gestured him inside, the hesitation in his voice when he asked, “What do you want?”

They sat in the drawing room, a cavernous space filled with dusty heirlooms and fading portraits. The elder man poured himself a drink but didn’t offer one to Arthur, who didn’t mind—his flask was already half-empty.

“I haven’t spoken of Ezra in years,” Frank began, his voice tight. He sat down across from Arthur, but his posture betrayed him—his back straight, hands gripping the armrests as if bracing himself for an impact. “Why now? Why send someone like you to dredge it all up again?”

Arthur didn’t miss the thinly veiled disdain in the words. “I’m here because of y/n,” he said, watching closely for a reaction.

Frank’s face hardened instantly, his grip on the chair tightening. “y/n,” he repeated, the name heavy with bitterness. “That woman has no right to stir up the past. To speak of my son to strangers—it is a most ardent betrayal to his memory.”

Arthur leaned forward slightly, resting his elbows on his knees. “That woman,” he said, his voice deliberately slow, “has spent years believing she’s to blame for your son’s death. And I want to know why.”

Frank’s mouth opened, then closed again, his jaw working as if chewing on the words he didn’t want to say. His eyes darted to the glass in his hand, and Arthur caught the faintest flicker of shame in his expression.

"I will tell you why, Mr. Shelby, but first, I must know why this is a concern to the Peaky Blinders. Your reputation circles even here in London."

"Call it a personal interest of ours."

"How personal?"

"Best to explain that once I get what I'm here for."

“When Ezra died, y/n was dismissed,” Frank said finally, his tone colder now, as though rehearsing an old script. “She had no place here anymore.”

“And why’s that?” Arthur pressed, narrowing his eyes.

Frank looked up sharply, but his defiance was brittle. “Word travels fast here, Mr. Shelby,” he admitted. “It was brought to my attention by a trusted advisor that y/n had been pushing my son too hard to leave the family business, that she’d driven him to exhaustion with her endless demands. She was to blame for the severity of his last seizure.”

Arthur snorted, a harsh, humorless sound. “Let me guess. Your advisor was Alfred Bingham.”

“Alfred was a friend,” Frank said defensively, though his voice cracked under the weight of his own words. “Gave me financial and business advice for years, and without him, I would have not built this empire that was supposed to go to Ezra after my death. He wouldn’t have lied about something like that. I trusted him.”

“Business matters are not personal matters, Mr. Hargreaves,” Arthur shot back, his tone sharper. “y/n has no taste for anyone that would make her do something like that.”

Frank’s face flushed, his eyes narrowing. “You think you understand? You think you know what it’s like to bury a child? To have to see the woman who caused him so much pain until the very end?”

Arthur’s voice softened, but his words cut deeper. “No, I don’t. But I know what it’s like to live with regret.” He paused, letting the words sink in. “What Bingham told you—it wasn’t the truth, and the consequences of that lie lives on.”

For the first time, Frank’s composure cracked. His hands trembled as he set the glass down, his gaze dropping to the floor.

Arthur leaned back in his chair, his sharp eyes never leaving Frank’s face. “Your son didn’t die because of y/n,” he said. “And even if he didn't agree with her choices, he never held it against her. The doctor told me himself. In his last moments, your son asked for her and no one else. Not out of anger, but out of love.”

Frank flinched as if struck, his breath hitching. “He… he called for her?”

Arthur nodded. “Because he loved her. Even at the end, she was the one on his mind. Not the business. Not you. Her.”

Frank’s shoulders slumped, the weight of Arthur’s words finally breaking him. He looked older now, as if the years of grief had suddenly caught up with him. “I told her to leave,” he whispered, his voice trembling. “I knew that if she'd stayed, I would never get passed losing him. She didn't even fight back. She just... left. I took that as her admission of guilt.”

Arthur stood, his presence towering over the frail man before him. “She left because she thought you were right. y/n isn't someone who would argue against the truth.” He paused, his voice dropping lower. “And now, I have it.”

Frank looked up at Arthur, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. “Tell me earnestly, Mr. Shelby. Is she alright?”

Arthur considered the question for a moment. “That’s not for me to say. But she is alive. And she's under the protection of the Peaky Blinders.”

With that, Arthur turned and left, the sound of his boots echoing in the silent house. As he stepped outside, he lit a cigarette, taking a long drag as he processed the encounter. Frank Hargreaves might never find redemption in your eyes, but Arthur had done what he came to do. He’d uncovered the truth. Now, it was up to you to decide what to do with it.

[maleyanderecafe]

Hi! I love your blog and reading your game recommendations (really grateful to find some hidden treasure!!!) so I want to send you a recommendation as well! Recently the demo for the game "Snow White Ashes" by endysis has been updated, and though yandere elements are so far, quite subtle, the hints are there (esp in bonus scenes). Not to mention the stunning artworks, the original soundtracks, and the lovely writing weaving one gothic horror fairytale-like story. I'd love for you to enjoy it and share with us your analysis of the game! Have a good day and once again thank you for all of your recommendations!

This game really does embody a tragic fairy tale (which, originally a lot of fairy tales were like this) inside of a visual novel. The artwork is beautiful, the story is sad and the soundtrack is very nice to listen to. The yandere actions in this game aren't as prominent on Gabriel's side (and in fact are a bit more so on the female lead's side). There are about three routes that can go about that also unlock three different extra scenes. If you are interested, you can find more at @endys.

The story starts out with a woman walking in the cold forest. She seems to be out luring someone to her to kill them, as evidenced by the knife in her pocket. She decides to either draw blood or sing to lure them out, both of which brings out a man dressed in white to come to her aid. Seeing that the woman is cold, he offers to let her stay at his place as the nearest town is too far away. She graciously accepts his help and she brings her into a cabin in the woods. As they walk, they ask for each others names. The MC's name is Michelle and the man introduces himself as Gabriel. She seems to want to expose Gabriel for the monster he is, though so far he doesn't seem to be at all. The two converse, talking about the Mist Queen, a mystic person who seems to be someone inhumane terrorizing the town. While talking she mentions a family that she was accepted into, though now it no longer is something that exists. We learn that while he is a hunter now, he used to be a doctor and was married happily for a long while until the plague happened or we learn about how he and his wife met, with him tending to her wounds after she fell. Michelle then talks about either her fondness of singing or her fondness of sewing. They end up getting to the cottage after they hear some wolves.

Upon going to the cottage, the two are about to make out when Gabriel ends up pulling out the weapon from Michelle's clothes. He seems to know that she's lying to him about her name and identity. She cannot lie to him and reveals that she is indeed the Mist Queen, aka, Gabriel's former wife. She bites back at him, asking why he was bringing back girls to his cottage, where he retorts that he knew who she was the entire time. Gabriel retorts that she has taken a new body accusing her of murdering a young girl, when Michelle reveals that she only took the body of a girl who was already dead. She continues stating that the girl (and many others) have been found dead, likely because of one of their kind, accusing him of killing them. Gabriel tells her, (Selene is her true name) that he wouldn't do that and that he's been loyal to her for centuries, also revealing that she was the one who made him immortal like her. Gabriel leaves to see if what Selene said is true, which leaves her alone in the cabin. She can either decide to stay or leave, and if she stays, she has the chance to destroy his lyre, which if she does, will cause her to feel immense regret afterwards. Even if she leaves, she will end up being saved by Gabriel after she is almost attacked by wolves. After looking around, she ends up finally resting, which leads to a dream about her past.

She first has nightmare about the two girl's skin that she stole, Myia, and the one where she first met Gabriel and the one she is wearing now, Calliope. We see a flashback of when she first met Gabriel. Having gotten a new body by chance, instead of eating it, she decides to pretend to be her and live in the village. She later attempts to hunt for food, but ends up getting hurt, causing the person she was hunting, Gabriel to help her. Although she is pretty annoyed at his help, she ends up accepting it nevertheless, with Gabriel even carrying her back to the village. As time goes on, the two of them grow fonder of each other, until Gabriel ends up proposing to her. Initially she refuses, afraid that he will eventually find out who she is and will eventually outlive him. However, despite all of this, knowing that she is not actually the girl whos skin she wears, she ends up accepting and living with him as his wife in the village. Later on, Gabriel ends up losing one of his patients during childbirth and the two end up adopting her surviving son. Selene ends up making a doll for her new adopted son, with Gabriel impressed by her needlework. As time goes by and Gabriel ages, Selene's body does not, causing rumors to spread across her village. This leads to a fight with her and Gabriel as she feels incredible guilt that he will eventually die leaving her behind while she lives as essentially a zombie. As they resolve the fight, Gabriel promises to never leave her side until his death. A few years later, a plague starts to form in town. Gabriel tries to make Selene and their son leave so they won't get infected, while he wants to stay behind and do his job as a doctor. However, as she wants to be by his side, she sends her son off to safety while she stays behind with her husband. As time goes by, Gabriel gets sicker and sicker, even losing his arm, having Selene chop it off for him. Slowly he begins to die, and Selene's body also starts to deteriorate, and to keep him alive, Selene finds dead bodies and sews parts of them back onto Gabriel as his body decays. After this, she ends up giving some of her blood to him, causing him to live again. Gabriel initially doesn't recognize her as she's had to change bodies, but also is equally as frightened by his new body. Then afterwards the two live together for a bit before separating for thirty years. After the two of them wander in isolation, Gabriel returns to Selene, devoting himself to her as he cannot bear the isolation any longer, only asking for her to kill him if he goes mad for blood.

Upon waking up, she seems worried that she might have to kill him to keep the promise she made to him. She finds that Gabriel had returned, even making her food in return. Gabriel tells her that he indeed saw the things that she spoke of, and we see that he even kept one of the pieces of clothes she made him. After being fed (or not) the soup that he made. The two argue for a bit about the entire seducing thing in the beginning, with Gabriel being hesitant because she's not in the original body where they first met. They hear a knock at the door and upon opening it, see the body of Myia talking to Gabriel about how he missed her and how she missed him.

There are three extra scenes. I'll go from the first one Lullaby to the last one, Monsters. These are all from Gabriel's point of view, likely something that happens while she sleeps.

In Lullaby, we see that he is surprised to see her wear another skin. He seems to have a bit of body dysmorphia, not even recognizing his new hand despite everything, thus wearing the gloves he always does. He seems to have a lot of self loathing and ends up humming a lullaby to her at the end.

In Suffering, Gabriel wonders about how his wife is feeling, desperately wanting to touch her face but not allowing himself to. He doesn't want leave her side or have anyone take his place. It seems he believes he has to stay by her side no matter what, and that he needs her more than anything. This is probably the extra that encapsulates his more yandere nature in a more clingy manner.

In Monster, Gabriel seems to find it weird that his wife was able to live like this for so long. He is especially angry in this one, wondering if she knows how easy it would be for him to kill her as she sleeps. This extra is the one that is the most possessive.

The story itself is rather melancholy in tone, much like the original Grimms Fairy Tales, with a lot of inspiration seemingly being taken from things like Snow White and the Ice Queen, which you can kind of tell from the title. The artwork is extremely beautiful with moving parts of the backgrounds like leaves and snow, and there is a feeling of bitterness between Selene and Gabriel despite the love they clearly have for each other. The work is written in a more fanciful tone, and has a lot of mourning on Selene's part as she is essentially an immortal zombie/vampire- never really truly quite human and never really comfortable in the skin she's in (quite literally). The music is lovely too, very quiet but impactful which really gives the whole vibe of the game being a more sad retelling of a story.

Both Gabriel and Selene have a sort of attachment with each other and both of them are obsessed/possessive with each other. On Selene's part, while she did try to break away from Gabriel when they first met, she wasn't able to, and when she did get the happy life as a human, she very desperately didn't want to let go of it, claiming Gabriel and their adopted son as hers. In the backstory especially we do see that she internally is very possessive over Gabriel, considering this is the first time she's properly fallen in love with someone and is fully aware that she can't live this life forever. We also see this in the current time with Selene accusing Gabriel of luring other women into his cottage, even though he knew it was her in the first place. Despite this though, we can see where this idea comes from, as Selene is always pretending to be someone else as she's always in someone else's skin, and immortal, meaning that she can never fully enjoy a human life as herself. She knows that Gabriel will likely die one day and she fears being alone again, and losing the person she loves. On both sides there is a strong attachment with each other. Gabriel, even before turned in the creature that Selene was already devoting his life to be with her, loyal to the very end of his life. And even after when Selene turns him, he returns after many years to devote himself once again, wanting to stay by her side forever, much like the knight like family he was raised in. We see this more in the extra stories where we see Gabriel's point of view, seeing that he's obsessed with being with her because he has nothing else and that she is his, though we also see that it is part of a mix of other emotions such as his fear of being lonely and his feelings of dysmorphia due to the body parts stitched onto him. He still maintains his strong loyalty to Selene, but it is also filled with anger as she turned him against his will, even if it was in an attempt to save his life from disease.

I'm not really sure who this new person that comes in at the end is. She very clearly is using the body of when Selene and Gabriel first met and knows about their relationship. It is very likely another one of their species, though why she seems to specifically be targeting these two is still a mystery. We're also not sure who or what is causing the death of the many maidens, so it could actually be her depending on how long this story is. It's a good mystery and cliffhanger that invests you in wanting more.

But overall, a pretty beautiful game. The yandere moments are definitely much more muted and I'd even argue that currently Selene has more yandere moments than Gabriel mostly due to her feelings in the past, but it is nice to see a couple that is loyal to each other, even if they have bitter feelings towards each other. A complicated thing. If you are interested, please try it out.

[127tyong]

Be There For You

Pairing: Jaemin X Reader

Genre: Smut, PWP (let's be real for a second... just the 1st P) Doctor Jaemin, Public(ish), Good Ending (an ai good ending.) (i know nothing about medicine this is all fiction)

Warnings: Mind break (honestly, not that bad imo)

Word Count: 2k

“Come on, I know you need the money! Just think about it!” Your friend slammed the stack of papers in front of you as you sat at the dining table. “It’s just an experiment, how bad could it be?”

“That’s the problem! Those things are always too good to be true.” You looked at the first page, reading “Sleep Clinical Trial 6.4”. “Like, what if they do something weird to me?”

“They won’t! They’re a legit pharmaceutical company! They give you medication, you sleep for a bit, and then you get like, 500 dollars! It’s not that big of a deal.” She sighed, her hands on her hips. “I did the 6.2 experiment, trust me, I know these guys!”

“Ugh…” You groaned. “Is this a pyramid scheme or something? Why are you vouching so hard for them?”

“Listen, I don’t wanna be that person, but you haven’t paid rent in 2 months. I love you, but I can’t let you keep eating and sleeping here for free. If you’re not gonna get a job, you can either do this, or get out.”

You sighed. “I’ll go. I don’t promise anything, but I’ll at least hear them out.” ~ The next day, you made your way into the trial clinic on the address your friend gave you.

“Hello! How can I help you?” The receptionist, wearing a “Jeno” name tag, asked you.

“Um, hi, I’m here to participate in the sleep clinical trial.” You told him, already nervous and fidgeting.

“Oh, dear…” He clicked his tongue. “Honey, that was yesterday…”

“Fuck! I’m sorry…” You nearly bolted out the door.

“Wait! Miss!” Another man called after you. “If you’re willing to, I’m testing something else out right now, I’ll pay you $2000!”

You spun around. “What is it?” 

He handed you a clipboard, with some papers attached. “Let me take you into my office.”

He dragged you into his office, the grandeur of it shocking you. Rows of bookshelves, giant velvet seats, and an oak wood desk that sat in the middle of the room, a leather chair in front of it. You focused your attention back to the doctor, who was wearing a suit with a lab coat over it, his hair an ash blue color, his glasses resting down his nose. 

“Let me introduce myself, I’m Na Jaemin, MD. I’m testing a medicine right now, it’s a female hormone regulator.” You shook his hand as you sat on the leather seat, him sitting across from you. You flipped through the papers. “What do I have to do for this, exactly?” 

You read the first page. “Project E 1.0”

The subject will be given a shot containing an unlabelled test medication. 

Effects may vary, but it will be used to treat PCOS and other hormone irregularities.

“You just have to take a shot, and I’ll do the rest. I’ll take your blood work, weight, physical changes… It’s supposed to be all good… hair growth, regulates your cholesterol, and makes your breasts bigger.”

“What are the possible side effects?” You asked.

“Hormones can cause a large amount of side effects, like birth control. Although, I must warn you that you are the first person to be administered this drug, which is why the pay is so good. There may be side effects we are unaware of.”

“...So basically you have no idea.” You rolled your eyes.

“Yes, but I’ll be here for you the whole time.”

You nodded. "I'll do it." After all, it seemed more good than bad, and $2000…

"You'll be taking a shot every 2 weeks, which I'll administer, then I'll have you report any changes in your mood, body, etcetera. Sign here, and then we can start!" Jaemin pointed to the last page of the stack he’d given you.

You quickly signed your sanity to Na Jaemin, MD.

~

You quickly realized the bad outweighed the good. Sure, your hair was healthier than it had ever been, your skin was glowing, your breasts grew…

But your back hurts from the weight gain and you’ve never been so horny in your life.

You were sweating, your vibrator overheating, and your cunt was drenched from the constant need of relief.

Your phone shined brightly in the dark of your bedroom. 2 weeks had passed. You needed to see your doctor again.

~

You were put together enough to make the average person think you were okay, but Jaemin could see through you, the pained look in your eyes familiar to him after working in the medical field for years. Mini skirt barely hiding the fact your juices were pouring down your legs, wishing you wore jeans, but you didn’t even have the strength to slide a pair up.

"So, I take it that the past two weeks haven't been the best?" Jaemin's pen clicked to the tempo of the clock ticking. 

"No…" You rubbed your thighs together, your sweat sticking to the leather chair. You could practically feel yourself soaking the leather, still so wet, so needy. “I’ve… had a raised libido, I guess.” Your throat was dry, swallowing.

"Have you tried masturbating?" His words filled you with dread, not knowing if he fully understood.

"Everyday… Multiple times everyday. I haven't been able to sleep properly because of it…" You felt sticky, hot. You could practically smell Jaemin, the scent of his cologne, his musk, glancing at the way his hands moved as he wrote, the veins traveling up his arms. You nearly started drooling, noticing he didn’t have a ring on his finger, imagining his fingers inside you. You shook your head, knowing you couldn’t do this to yourself.

Jaemin kissed his teeth, the pop echoing in your ears. "Is a partner not an option?"

"No, I'm single… Can I go to the bathroom?" You were throbbing, practically able to feel the blood rushing to your clit, your panties rubbing against it too much to handle. You nearly toppled over as you stood up, dizzy, your legs too weak from needing to cum more than anything.

Jaemin stood up then helped you stand up. "Are you okay?" His arm on your waist, the scent of his cologne overwhelming you.

"Is… too much." You whimpered. "Need to cum right now."

Jaemin rushed you into a sterile, brightly lit patient room. He started laying you down onto the small, leather bed covered in a disposable sheet, then shutting and locking the door. "How long has this been going on?"

Tears ran down your face. "Since I took it…"

"Why hasn't it worn off?" He grumbled to himself, pacing around the room. "It's been 2 weeks, it should be out of your system…"

"It hurts…" You cried out.

"Oh, right… Fuck, you should've called me when it started! What should I do?" He touched your cheek, wiping your tears away, the chill of his hand shocking you.

"Make me cum." You cried out, your body burning up. "Doctor, make me cum…"

As he thought to himself, Jaemin thought about how he couldn't fuck a patient, how he was a professional, how he could probably give you a pain medication to make it stop. But then seeing you in agony made him reconsider the fact that he was the one who did this to you, that he was responsible… Then he realized how hard he was from listening to your cries and how much he wanted to help you cum.

Jaemin spread your legs open, sliding your panties off as they stuck to your cunt, soaked. "So wet, cute…" He muttered to himself. His hands grabbed your thighs, squeezing onto them to stabilize himself as he bent down to eat you out.

Licking up your wetness, Jaemin sucked on your clit, flicking at it with his tongue.

"Cumming!" You cried out, your back arching, hips grinding against Jaemin's tongue.

Your pretty, high pitched whines were enough to make Jaemin risk losing his job. 

As Jaemin pulled away, he licked his lips and swallowed the taste of you. "Do you feel better?"

"A little…" You mumbled, sitting up, still dizzy, but less stressed.

Jaemin lowered the hospital bed using the remote on the end of the bed. "Bend over the bed."

“Doctor-” You stood up.

“Call me Jaemin, please.” Jaemin took your hand, spinning you around, then pressing his hand against your back, bending you over, his hand trailing up to the back of your head, pushing your cheek against the leather cushion. Your hands outstretched in front of you, gripping onto the paper-wrapped pillow.

“Jaemin…” You moaned, your voice only a little louder than a whisper, listening to the sounds of Jaemin removing his belt and unzipping his slacks.

His hand slid cupped your ass, watching you squirm from his touch. His tip rubbing your clit, covered in precum, getting even more wet from you. “I promise I’ll be gentle.” 

“Please, hurry up.” You whimpered, crying into the pillow.

“Of course.” Jaemin plunged straight into you, grabbing onto your hips, pulling you towards him.

You never really got a good look at his cock, but it was safe to say that he was longer, thicker than your dildo, or any man you’ve ever been with before. Your back arched instinctively, not knowing how to handle a cock that big. Jaemin was only inside you for a little while, but you were already close, and after a few thrusts from Jaemin, you were at your limit. “Doctor, please!” You moaned out, biting onto the pillow as you came.

Jaemin didn’t know how to react, but he knew how he wanted to react. He grabbed you by your neck and shoved the rest of his length into you. His hand was pressed against your windpipe, making you unable to properly breathe, forcing you to arch your back so you could breathe properly. Once you did, Jaemin adjusted his hand, squeezing onto the sides of your throat. 

“I told you to call me Jaemin.” He whispered into your ear.

“Sorry…” Jaemin’s pace began to quicken. “Sorry, I’m sorry!”

“You should’ve listened to me.” Jaemin started kissing your neck, nibbling, biting, trying to stop himself from pitifully moaning.

“Jaemin! Jaemin, I’m sorry!” His grip on your neck tightened, cutting off your jugular vein, making you feel euphoric.

“You’re so fucking nasty… It’s so beautiful.” He moaned into your ear while you whimpered, begging Jaemin for mercy.

You knew you were an overstimulated, noisy mess, left at the mercy of Jaemin, an overworked doctor who needed you to take his stress out into your pathetic hole.

Jaemin was certain Jeno could hear everything and prayed he would cover his ass. The way you screamed his name was worth it though. The way you shook when you came, the sweet squelching sounds you made, they were all beautiful.

“I’m gonna cum.” Jaemin bit down on your neck, already having left multiple bruises and bite marks on your pretty neck. Treating you how a dog bites down on his chew toy. Forcefully and mercilessly, like you couldn’t feel a thing.

And you basically couldn’t, afterall, all you could feel was how good Jaemin was fucking you. In that moment, Jaemin could’ve done anything he wanted to you and you would’ve nodded your head and taken it. 

Which is why you didn’t even say anything when your insides were coated with a thick layer of Jaemin’s cum.

Jaemin left you for a few hours, letting you get the sleep you desperately needed.

~

When you woke up, you realized you were no longer in pain. Forcing yourself to get dressed, you made your way over to Jaemin’s office.

“You’re up?” He looked up at you over his glasses.

You nodded, sitting back down at the chair you were sitting in earlier, noticing the wet mark was still there.

“Are you still in pain?” 

You shook your head, rubbing your arms.

“Shall we continue the trial then?” Jaemin stood up, removing his glasses and setting them on his desk.

“But I was in so much pain…” You looked up at Jaemin as he walked over to you. “I think I have a solution to that.” Caressing your cheek and gently kissing your lips.

“Please fuck me again, Jaemin.”

“As my patient wishes.”

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Do you have a list of Lestrade POV or Mycroft POV fics? I love reading what others think about these two idiots in love.

Hi Lovely!!

AHHH Okay I DIDN'T have a specific list, so I've gone through my bookmarks I've tagged as such with either POV, but I KNOW I've missed a lot of fics... I needed a list for this weekend so... VOILA! Sorry it's so rushed, and I will forewarn many of the links are from FFNet 💜🖤

If ANYONE has a Johnlock fic that that they would love to add to the list that I obviously missed, please do add them below!!!! I would greatly appreciate it!

MYCROFT or LESTRADE POV JOHNLOCK

See also: Mystrade Fics (MFLs)

The Most Awful Thing by whitchry9 (K+, 1,072 w., Ch 1 || Hurt/Comfort, Holmes Brothers, Seizures) – When Mycroft witnesses Sherlock having a seizure, he is at a complete loss as to what he should do. Thankfully, John is there.

Yorkshire Gold by Tammany Tiger (K, 1,467 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Holmes Brothers, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Angst, Open Ending, Grief, Implied Bondlock) – Mycroft may not mourn Sherlock's death-but even if he knows his brother lives, he's not without his own grief. It ain't easy being The British Government. But at least he's got good help. Set between the Fall and the Return.

It Was All Right There In Front of Him (A Five Times Plus One Story) by bees_stories (T, 3,191 w., 1 Ch. || 5+1, Protective Idiots, Grooming, Bed Sharing, Lestrade POV) – DI Greg Lestrade is a good detective. But sometimes he doesn’t trust the evidence in front of him, until there’s a compelling reason to do so.

The Warehouse Chat by AllesandraQuartermaine (K, 3,611 w., 1 Ch. || Meddling Mycroft, Canon-Compliant, Drama / Family) – When Mycroft Holmes learns about the presence of John Watson in his brother's life, he does what any brother who worries would do. He learns what he can and then abducts Doctor John Watson for a chat in a warehouse. Set in A Study In Pink.

This is my friend, John Watson by aaronisgay (T, 3,691 w., 5 Ch. || Established Relationship, Secret Relationship, Yard Finds Out) – Lestrade has known Sherlock for over three years, yet in that time barely learned anything about the man. Then one day, Sherlock walks onto the crime scene with a short army doctor in tow. As time goes on, Lestrade wonders why neither of them ever go on dates...could this mean something? Otherwise where Sherlock is married and the Yard doesn't even notice.

When Your Belly's in the Trench by Morgan_Stuart (T, 4,743 w., 1 Ch. || PTSD, Character Study, Rescue, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Torture, Trauma, Danger, Drama, Kidnapping/Captivity) – The next time that door opens, John Watson will kill the person on the other side.

Study in Mycroft by chappysmom (K+, 4,929 w., 1 Ch. || Character Study, Big Brother Mycroft, Mycroft POV, Nosy Mycroft, Holmes Brothers) – A look at Mycroft's thoughts and actions during a Study in Pink.

The Refining Fire by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 5,451 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG AU, Angst, Friendship, Alternating POV (Lestrade, Mycroft, Sherlock), Worried Sherlock, Hospital Recovery) – Fire can burn things to ashes, but it can also burn things together.

Our Sudden and Strange Return by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 10,314 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, Friendship) – One year, eight months, and an odd number of days after the alleged fatal fall Mycroft gets a message from Sherlock saying that he's back.

Sympathy for the Devil and Mycroft Holmes by scifigrl47 (T, 18,535 w., 2 Ch. || Family, Canon-Compliant, Meddling Mycroft, Big Brother Mycroft) – Mycroft has always protected his younger brother, but there are some things he just can't control. Sherlock's relationship with John Watson is one of them. Set during the first two seasons of Sherlock.

Jack In The Box by Liketheriver (T, 30,785 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Case Fic, H/C, Lestrade First POV) – John's been kidnapped, Mycroft has rules, and Lestrade has to do his best to keep up with Sherlock as they deal with a returning foe. Lestrade POV as he and Sherlock work to find John, even though that's the last thing John seems to want. Part 2 of Bedtime Universe

[spicyicetea]

Forgot once again that I write on here. Oops. I've been working on some of my original yandere stories on and off between reading stuff. Can say that I have tons of inspiration for stuff and my blog may be blowing up with new content soon.

I deleted the last post about this as I scrapped some of the characters that had gotten a lot of support and wanted to revamp the characters before asking again.

I have the characters I want to use in these stories now and ideas for the plot their stories would take so wanted to provide some propaganda for each of them for people to vote on which I write first.

ALL OF THESE WILL BE FINISHED EVENTUALLY THIS IS JUST HELPING ME DECIDED WHO TO DO FIRST

The propaganda is under the cut, if you're uninterested in reading the premise feel free to just vote but for those who do want more information, read on. Descriptions of yandere behaviour, threats of violence and suggestive material below.

Lucius, the fallen angel (THE INTRO TO HIS STORY IS OFFICALLY UP, TO THOSE WHO WANT HIM GO GET HIM)

Rage, nothing but rage ran through the veins of the holy being, wings crumbling to ash around them. How dare they! How dare his god forsake him like this. He would have preferred to have been cast to the fiery pits like his brothers before him. His soft peach hair curled around his eyes, framing the wild gold. The world stops around him as your hand finds the skin between his shoulder blades. The poor entity that touched him... how their time on this earth was now rapidly depleting. Looking over his shoulder, your eyes met, his scanning the form of the being who dared lay eyes upon him in this moment of weakness.

"Excuse me... can I help you in anyway?"

In your hand was a small box, with a red plus. Having been a guardian angel he recognised it immediately, a first aid kit. You were here to help him? The scrubs covering your body told a story themself. A dedicated doctor that wanted nothing more than to help people, even the crumbling man before you. He saw you, your whole being, mind, body and soul. What a gorgeous soul... he has found his new deity. The entity he will worship to the ends of the earth, his god/goddess that he will bring forth the end of the heavens above for, no matter the cost to himself or humanity.

Edit: felt bad about Lucius’ being so short so I “finished” an old sketch of him.

I don’t like sharing my art but here (don’t remember the reference I used the sketch was quite old)

Roger, the Pirate

Once flourishing seaside towns, abandoned by the native inhabitants. Sea attacking the waves with a vengeance and an anger that would drive anyone away. Of course she was mad. Her plentiful expanses have been torn by war and now are weaponised with warships and scoundrels. As boats became more prevalent and accessible to the common folk, another threat appeared, pirates. Criminals who rode the waves in their stolen ships, raiding towns and crumbling villages. Anyone with common sense feared them, apart from your stubborn father. Your dear old dad, the soul blacksmith in the beachside village you were raised in, refused to waiver. This was his home, and he'd be damned if some punk would make him leave. The village folk stayed too, they considered him as close to a mayor as the town had. Luckily, not many pirates came to the area, despite the relatively calm waves. Hidden away in rocky coves and connected through wooden bridges, your home was well hidden and your people worshiped the sea. She was their queen, their bountiful provider and valiant protector. Your family held this tradition with a tight fist.

A large bang, rang out as the village shook. Screams... so many shrieks as your family jumped up and rushed to the village centre, your usually soft father brandishing the heirloom sword he had forged to commemorate his marriage to your mother. Pirates had rounded everyone up already, holding them at the tips of their swords, twirling their rudimentary guns as a threat. Your father hesitated, lowering his sword to not anger them, handing it off to his wife should anything go wrong. Each step he took forward was met with steps on the other end, a tall rugged man meeting him at the centre of the village. Long scars littered his body, flicking from the corner of his lips and the bridge of his nose, to the side of his throat and across his knuckles. His hair was a deep chestnut, rough and messy beneath the leather tricorn hat he wore. His eye patch was tucked into the collar of his shirt, wanting to look him eye to eye.

"We're here for your riches, but if you can't provide, I suppose your men can work off your village's debt."

It boiled your blood, how dare they try and hurt these people. These were your people! Your blood may not be royal, but the villagers treated you as such. Thousands of years ago, your family had led them onto the rocky coves to avoid the tyrannical reign of the original village lord. It felt as if your ancestors controlled your limbs as you took the sword from your trembling mother, ignoring the cries of her and your younger siblings. Brandishing the ornate blade with a profound confidence, you pressed it to the invaders chest, teeth grit.

"I am the only trained fighter here, so you either take me or leave empty handed."

He raised his bushy brows, his expression remaining unreadable. The air remained stagnant before he swatted the flat side of the blade, causing you to retract it to your side. He ripped the hat from his head, holding it low to hide... something, whatever it was, as he turned his back, clearing his throat.

"We leave at dusk lass, make us wait and we torch the place."

I apologise for the propaganda being so long but I enjoyed writing these, can you tell I like Roger. Please vote if you're interested in either. I'm going to put together a taglist for these so let me know in the replies if and who's taglist you want to be in. Please clarify which character you want to be tagged in.

[tanis-fics]

Intermission

When Ash Jr. is trapped in a building shift incident and begins to freak out about his imminent death, the person who aids him is the least one he expects. The least helpful, too, but at the end of the day, Ash could really use a break. (A musical break, even)

Pairings: Theodore Ash Jr. & Ahti, Theodore Ash Jr. & Ahti & Oldest House ♦ Words: 1117 ♦ Notes: For the @februaryficletchallenge, prompt Trapped In An Elevator

[on ao3] ♦ [on squidgeworld] ♦ [read on site]

 When Dr. Theodore Ash Jr. first felt the elevator shake under his feet, and then stop menacingly, he immediately assumed he was going to die. Of course he was going to die after making the discovery of a lifetime, the cruel irony of it almost made him crack a smile; the fact that he could at least see the twisted beauty of the Oldest House in all its glory unlike his father before him almost brought him peace of mind, in those grim final moments.

 He took it in stride at first. Face it proudly like the bearer of his name should.

 Seeing the concrete surrounding him ad infinitum outside his fancy metal cage ever so slowly closing in, however, eventually panic began dawning on him.

 He couldn't die. Not now, of all times. He still had so many things to research, so many caves down in the Foundation to find and study. His friends, the Id, he couldn't just leave them all alone while the rest of his team (or, God forbid, Director Northmoor) probed the place without a care in the world.

 Breath began coming shallow as death started breathing on his neck. Trapped like an animal. No. Trapped like so many members of the Bureau by the shifting chimera of the building. Ash had been researching the energy leylines from the pillar, coming up with ways to stabilize it's uneasy entrails to avoid these senseless deaths, but maybe he had been far too late.

 As his windpipe closed in panic, Ash would have wanted to say that he hoped someone else took his investigations and finished his work for the Bureau. But he was just a coward, and his mind screamed for someone, anyone, to realize where he was and came help him.

"...Yksin sankar yöhön syvemmälle matkaa pois,

Se taakka hänen harteillaan kuin lupaus aina ois,"

 Jerking his head up, Ash recognized that faint melody before recognizing the accompanying voice. He couldn't see anything past the concrete, but the song came from a point somewhere above him. Swallowing, his throat hurt horrors, but he still croaked.

 "J, Janitor, is that you?" He cursed at himself for not remembering his name, despite his appreciation to the mysterious man. The singing stopped, and he felt panic rising again. "Are you there? Can you hear me?"

 Silence followed his many questions, until he heard his voice again, closer this time.

 "Doctor?" His thick accent brought a smile to his face, relief washing over him for a second. "Were you running with your head as your third leg, and got stuck in the walls?"

 He had no idea what that meant.

 "More or less, I suppose." He yelled back, voice breaking a bit at the end, and was met with a candid laugh. If it were anyone else, Ash would be enraged and humiliated, but the Fin's idiosyncrasies put his mind at ease, or as much as it could in that situation. The man had a surprisingly vast knowledge of the building, either inherent or learned, and if he could laugh in the jaws of danger maybe it wasn't as bad as he originally thought it was.

 Still, he was no God either.

 "Friend," he tried again, grabbing the metal curtain and facing the darkness from where the voice came from, "there was a shift in the building and I happened to get caught in the middle! I'll need you to call Security to get me out of here."

 "Yes, yes, do not worry, an emergency does not look like this. Ahti will make sure you get out of there, loose like a grandma's tooth." He sounded very sure of himself regardless of the wording, and Ash thanked him for that. Regardless, time started passing, with only the sound of the mop against the floor and the whistling of the man to fill it. Had... had he even called for help? He couldn't help but wonder, anxiously. Did he misjudge the strange man, misjudge Ahti? Or was he testing him? Could that be a test? "Eh. So nosy." The man called again, sounding... annoyed? Offended? "Don't wait as if waiting for the raising moon. You will not die. Not in an elevator, at least."

 Ash froze, but then sighed. Fine. If the Janitor said he wasn't going to die there, he couldn't possibly die there, he guessed, bittersweet.

 The walls stopped closing in, though.

 "That's right, perkele." He heard him say, proudly, yet probably to himself, before stating louder, in a way that seemed less and less like a suggestion. "Take a rest. It will do you good."

 Odd. What an odd fellow.

 Two peas in a pod, he supposed. The Janitor and the House.

 The Janitor and him, too.

 Resting his back on the opposite wall and sliding to the floor, Ash could swear he felt a rumbling on the elevator, and despite every logic and every alarm ringing on his mind he actually felt his fear slowly melting away, as his breath eventually slowed down too. The Fin's words ticked him, but he was tired, he couldn't remember the last time he took a break. The last time he allowed himself to take a break.

 Maybe he was safe. Call it good luck, or affinity, maybe the house wasn't going to swallow him alive. Not that day, at least.

 "Ahti." He called eventually.

 "Yes?"

 "Could I ask one thing of you, at least?" Since you're clearly not calling anyone.

 "What is it?"

 "Could you sing to me that song you're always singing to yourself?" He heard a surprised noise.

 "Sankarin Tango! You like it?"

 "As a matter of fact, I do!" And then, to himself, somewhat feeling like the compliment will reach his ears regardless. "I've always found it quite lovely, actually."

 "Ah..."

 Ahti sounded extremely pleased, speaking to himself in Finnish with an audible smile on his lips, and Ash couldn't help but smile too as the last traces of fear left his mind and body. As music filled the air around him his worry was replaced instead with the low rumbling that now enveloped him, louder. Did it came from the elevator? From the Oldest House itself? Was it, and could even be a reaction, let alone a positive one? Was it a response to Ahti's singing? First drafts of theories rose and fell like his calmed down breathing, like the melody carried by the air, as he waited to be rescued. Or, as it eventually will come to happen, for the walls to open and for him to meet his janitor friend, standing alone on a recently cleaned room.

 For now, Theodore Ash Jr. simply sat there, enjoying the choir in peace.

[lostonehero]

What remains after eternity

I'm not promising anything

Jonny sighed as he stared out at the desert from his window. New Texas was well thriving. He decided that when he woke up from what was supposed to be his final death on his shitty asteroid planet, he decided to make it better. He was pissed and he really just wanted to die. He was promised an ending, but he could also just be the last mech because there was a fluke, and he's just plain immortal, eternally youthful that death and age can't touch.

It's been a few thousand years, but Jonny had singlehandedly fixed New Texas. They opened their borders, trade between other planets, and women were free to be what they please and not slaves. He even set up a government that worked for the people. Overall, he was viewed as some sort of undying saint.

The assassination attempts were uninspired and lacking any kind of fun. They also stopped trying after a few years.

He was tired. He was so tired and just wanted an end. Even this throne room, which was more of a farce than anything, was exhausting.

"Jonny?" A young man approached his throne.

"Yes? If you're here to kill me, take your best shot or whatever." Jonny looked over. "Never mind, it's just you. Oliver, I told you to find something else to do rather than babysit me." After the first 100 or so years, the people of New Texas decided to find a way to keep him company. He's tired of killing them to stay away, and it never lasted long enough to spill more blood.

"I will not!" The boy's tail stood upright. "There's a woman here who requested an audience."

"Name?" Jonny moved to sit upright.

"Doctor Carmillia." Oliver smiles and motions to the taller woman behind him.

Jonny just frowns. "Hello, Carmillia. If you want to experiment, go ahead. I don't care."

Carmillia seems taken aback. "What don't you want to curse me for true immortality? Come now, I'm sure you've figured it out. Your own mechanism is forever, and the longer you have it the more ingrained it gets."

"Ok." Jonny sighs and kicks his feet up. "Is there a point to this? I'm tired, Carmillia. I'm tired, and I don't want to do this anymore. So either do whatever you want or leave."

Carmillia steps back. Jonny seemed absolutely defeated. She had a trump card. This would kick start the chaos again. This would start the nechs back up. "Your mother was the first. She's still around, and I would love for you to watch me get her to fall in love with me."

Jonny shrugs, sliding down in his throne. "So she's alive eternally. I'm sure she has a nice life without me." He frowns. "It's been eons, I'm sure she's moved on from losing me."

"She's been searching for you for those eons!" Carmillia huffs.

"She's better without her fuck up of a son." Jonny's gaze lazily went back to Carmillia. "Are you going to spread a plague? Take me apart? Destroy, what I built? Just do it or leave."

"Jonny, come on, what's the fun in that? Don't you want to cause some mayhem? Violence? Get drunk? I'm in love with your mother, Valerie. Doesn't that mean anything?"

Jonny looks away. "Go ask her out then. You're better than my father." He looks to Oliver. "Go home, kid."

Oliver sighs. "I told you, doctor. Jonny doesn't do anything anymore except keep New Texas safe."

"How long have you been keeping him company?" Carmillia follows the young man out.

"Oh, I just started. My predecessor, the funeral, was last year. Our people have decided to keep Jonny company. Oh, he's told so many stories about his adventures and violence, but I've read all those books and such. I wonder if I'll get to see him like that before I die, it would be a sight. Tell me, do you know the other mechanisms that Jonny has talked about?" Oliver sighs. "Sorry, I'm rambling. It's just all so exciting. I actually live in this place with him."

Carmillia frowns. "I will find them." She turns and leaves the boy.

.......

Ashes, they were the leader of the most profitable empire in the Nexus galaxy. They got bored after ending up back on their planet, realizing that they really couldn't die, and their final death was nothing but a mockery. They grew their empire, trying to just feel something. Even fire got boring, not to say they didn't still love it, but they missed the others.

They did find Ivy after everything, but she didn't really have an interest in leaving her own prison of knowledge. Ashes gives them new books, and they have tea once a decade now. They tried looking for the others, but they weren't in the same galaxy, and they didn't have a ship strong enough to hop galaxies, and Ivy wouldn't help.

"So this is what you've accomplished?" A voice pulls Ashes away from the fireplace.

"Doc?" Ashes turns around to see Carmillia covered in the blood of their guards. "You could have just asked to see me." They sigh. "What do you want? To gloat? To have a part of this empire? I can get you whatever you desire."

"You've conquered a galaxy." Carmillia sounded impressed. "I just wanted to find you."

"You have, so what now?" Ashes returns their gaze back to the fireplace.

"Come with me." Carmillia smiles. "Don't you want to find the others?"

"I suppose." Ashes sighs. "If you can get Ivy from her, self-made prison. Then I will join you." They light up a cigar. "Try to be cautious. Ivy has gone in her head."

.......

A blue skinned woman held a glowing machine in her arms. It was the ai the one she selfishly abandoned because of basically a new coat of paint. She stares at the scrap heap that was once Aurora. From what she was told, the debris was found floating in space, and whatever couldn't be salvaged was dumped here.

Nastya doesn't understand why she was abandoned. She will take her to a new ship and install her and make her even better. She knows she was selfish, she abandoned the others, and now that she knows the truth, she didn't want to be alone for eternity. Even if it takes her millions of years, she'll rebuild Aurora and beg for forgiveness. She has to find the others.

A few hundred years and Aurora was built bigger and better than ever, ready to face eternity looking for her crew. Nastya sighs as she wipes her brow. "Ready to go?"

A soft beep and chirps.

"Right, well, I'll make it up to you, I promise. I won't ever leave again. I heard about DTTM, but that can't possibly be true. I'll find the new guys, too." Nastya smiles. "To eternity and beyond my love."

......

Tim ended back on earth, and he now sits in a nuclear waste. He watched the world implode, now it's post-apocalyptic, and he helped out the surving groups. He was tired. He just wanted to die, but even he grew immune to the radiation. Maybe he was slightly mutated, but that didn't really matter. He became a messenger between new towns and even a city.

The earth was long abandoned by the majority of humanity who went to conquer other planets they didn't destroy. However, what was left behind grew like weeds. Tim watched the earth heal it was still mostly a wasteland, but there was life in the waste. He liked the peace of it.

"Timothy." An elderly woman smiles, hobbling over with her cane. "Are you coming to tell some tales? The cold will come soon."

Tim nods. "Yeah, do you want me to tell about the moon again?"

"The children will love that." The woman chuckles.

"I remember when you were that age, with your eyes bright and you could sit in my lap." Tim smiles. "How time has passed."

"Of course, watcher, and I hope you watch over the youth of tomorrow." The old woman moves forward. "I'm grateful I lived long enough to see these trees you talked about return."

Tim nods and follows behind. "And may the next generations witness the oceans turn blue and flowers bloom."

"You speak of such wonderful things, Watcher. May eternity bless you."

Tim doesn't really do names anymore. All the people he's watched and guided blend together as the earth recovers. Rivers flow mountains grow, and land returns. Civilization grows, and he becomes a myth even though he remains. Maybe he'll remain long enough to see another war or apocalypse. For the moment, it's peaceful as populations grow and seasons change. The changes from the radiation haven't gone away, but he can't seem to mind.

A voice so familair breaks through and Tim watches as the familair man approach. His voice was long gone to being silent for so long. He just smiles at the man.

"Gunpowder Tim." The shorter man tilted his head staring at Tim.

Tim nods, and as he tries to speak, only a rasp escapes his lips.

"It's me, Lyf, the inspector?" Lyf furrows his brows. "My ship malfunctioned, and I honestly don't know when or where I am, Yog Sogoth decided to be a bit extra helpful after that fight during DTTM. Have you seen Marius? Or like everyone else? I'm surprised I found you."

Tim tilted his head, seemingly confused.

Lyf huffs. "Whatever, come on." He grabs Tim's hand and drags him to his ship. "You'll be great leverage when it comes to the others. He doesn't notice the roots grown into Tim's feet or the changes in his body, or even the fact he gives off radiation.

Tim can't protest. He is unable to speak.

.......

Marius found his home planet. He knows whe he is now. He became a doctor and a baron and everything else he could think of ever wanting to accomplish. He plays his violin now, for hours and sometimes even days as he watches time pass him by.

Wars came and went, and he remained. Rebuilt, his old mech found his parents' graves and just did everything he could possibly think to do with the infinite amount of time he had.

He wanted to die. He wanted to... he couldn't remember what he looked like or what his name was, but he loved him. It's been far too long, and his mind wasn't keen on letting him recall what he had forgotten. He was a part of a group, a family he thinks.

His violin carries the tune over a barren planet, a virus wiped out his people and left him as the last of his species. Destroyed the plants and animals. He can't recall the last time he ate. Water is plentiful. It's the only thing that remains. He thinks it's water, he isn't sure.

Maybe it will come back to him. He'll just keep playing, and it will come back to him. Another song, and he'll remember something.

.......

Brian scowls, and dieties gathered around him. "Are you quite done? The biometal is enough, but I must leave."

They pamper him, they treat him like a pet.

He sighs. He's been trying first eons to leave this lavish spoiled life. He misses the others. He would even take being back on that sun again. He got what he looked like before the metal body, but what's the point he knows the mechanism is still there now biometal, but it remains. He hated this he wanted to kill something. And he wanted his family back.

A rainbow diety came by, and Brian scowls. "Leave me alone."

"My acolyte is searching for you." The deities' voice is incomprehensible, but Brian has gotten used to the spoken words of gods. "I wish to reunite the mechanisms, I have missed your songs and adventures, and I do not wish my acolyte, my child to be alone in eternity."

"Get me out of here." Brian just responds as he always does to any passing diety that wanted to have him as a pet.

A rainbow static enveloped him, and Brian vanished from the world of gods.

........

Lyf cursed as a rainbow static appeared, and something heavy fell on him. "Fucking shit! Fuck you Yog Sogoth."

Brian could cry. "Inspector!" He scrambles to his feet, embracing Lyf.

"Brian?" Lyf pauses. "Why are you soft?"

"Doesn't matter now." Brian smiles. "I'm bio metal, and I have the stuff I had before I was mechanized." He turns and spots Tim. "Tim! You're... you're...." He frowns, looking Tim up and down.

Tim's long hair was freshly buzzed in a military cut. There seem to be various vines and plants growing on his skin. His eyes remain the same, almost more ingrained into his face. His beard was cut short, and he had this odd look on his face like a pleasant curiosity. All that comes from his mouth as he attempts to speak was a wheeze of a rasp. He settles on waving.

Brian frowns. "What happened to him?"

"I really don't know, but it's been like six months since I picked him up, and he hasn't said a word. He also refuses to wear shoes. I also tried to cut the vines, but they just grew back. They also bleed, which is kind of terrifying." Lyf shudders. "He kind of reminds me of TS minus the talking."

"We need to find Raphaella. She'll be able to figure this out." Brian sighs. "But I am very happy to see you again. Where are you heading?"

"Oh well, I found Tim by accident, so I might as well look for Jonny next." Lyf crosses his arms. "What happened to everyone?"

"We were supposed to have our final deaths. I saw it. I had a vision, and they happened, but... well, it didn't happen. I don't know what happened to everyone else." Brian's large fox ears pin against his head. "I don't know how they handled it."

"They'll be fine." Lyf smiles. "See, Tim's fine he just can't speak."

Tim wasn't paying attention he was growing a flower in his palm.

........

"Now that I can feel again, I hate the heat." Brian adjusts his hat as they wonder through a desert asteroid.

Tim had a content smile on his face, and a trail of grass seemed to follow in his footsteps. They were carried by the sands and died, but it was still unusual.

"We really have to find Raphaella." Lyf watches Tim continue forward without a care.

"I... yeah, you're not wrong." Brian sighs.

They walk for a bit longer to the modest capital looking building, and the people say that Jonny should be in. They landed on New Texas about a decade into their journey.

An older man was at the entrance. His horns were sharpened, and he was in a uniform. He raised a brow as if he wasn't used to foreigners making their way here. "What brings you guys here? Assassination attempts? Proof of immortality? Wisdom? A story?"

Lyf and Brian exchange a look.

Brian blinks. "Um, we're here to talk to Jonny. I'm Drumbot Brian, and this is former inspector Lyfrassir Edda. Well, Gunpowder Tim is also with us but he lost the ability to talk."

Tim waves as he blooms cactus flowers on his feet.

The man looked shocked. "I'm sorry you're..." He frantically motions for them to follow. "Jonny! Jonny! You have guests!"

Jonny looked tired, and his horns were fully grown out along his scalpe that curved up at the ends. His hair was long tied into a braid. He was in a handmade outfit that was very casual. He was more muscular than they were used to, and his tail lazily flicked back and forth. "Oliver, what has gotten you so excited?" He doesn't even look over.

Oliver runs up to the throne. "Jonny, are these... are they who they claim?"

Jonny flicks his gaze over and puts on his goggles with prescription lenses. His breath catches in his throat. "Tim?"

Tim smiles and waves again, trying to speak, but a rasp escapes his lips.

"Yeah...." Lyf frowns as he approaches with Brian. "We really don't know what happened to him, but he can't talk anymore and is radioactive. He also can spread plants like a virus. Well, not like a virus, but his plants bleed."

"Brian?" Jonny hopped out of his chair. "What happened to you?"

"I became a pet to a bunch of deities." Brian sighs. "Dunno, how long it's been, but I'm biometal now. Time doesn't exactly work where I was."

"You guys just vanished." Lyf crosses his arms. "Yog Sogoth fucked with my ship and I ended up whenever this is. I found Tim by accident, then Yog Sogoth dropped Brian on me. We're looking for Marius or Raphaella to fix Tim. Do you know where they are?"

Jonny pulls the three into a tight hug. "Fucking I thought I was the only one save for Carmillia and her lies."

"Carmillia visited?" Brian furrows his brows.

Jonny pauses. "Oliver, when did the doc show up?"

Oliver hums and scratches his beard. "I couldn't have been more than 16, I just started here. A lifetime ago, in a sense."

"Well, I suppose I can say this is the end to your watch." Jonny walks over and holds out his hand. "I think I'll head out with them."

Oliver's eyes widen, and he hugs Jonny tight. "May you tell the future generations new tales. I will spread the word."

Jonny hugs back just as tight. "Give the old guard my regards. Let this place fall to ruin as time sweeps by."

"May I return to nothing but dust." Oliver finished. "May the universe embrace you to eternity."

Jonny nods salutes and leaves with Brian, Tim, and Lyf.

......

"I have to ask, but were you a god to them?" Brian finally breached the subject a few decades into their travels.

Jonny shakes his head. "No, not even close. I was just another one of them who couldn't die, and I told stories." He shines the harmonica in his hands. "I was just someone who wanted to change things, nothing special."

"How long was it?" Brian tilted his head.

Jonny paused. "I don't know." He chuckles softly. "I don't care, though. I made a happy ending."

"A..." Brian's eyes widen. "Jonny, are you ok?"

"A bit tired." Jonny smiles sadly. "But their ain't no rest for our kin."

.......

Nastya frowns. She found Marius by happen chance. A barren wasteland destroyed by a bio weapon virus. He was skin and bones, and his violin melody was haunting. His memory is bad to say politely.

"Oh, hello, did we meet before?" Marius smiles, holding a bowl of broth in his hands. He's shaking and looks deathly thin.

Nastya gives a sad smile. "Why, Marius, we have." She started to play along after the 59th time he did this. "And you promised me to finish that bowl of yours."

"I did? Yes, yes, of course." Marius drinks greedily from the bowl till it was empty. "Could you tell me where I am? I seem to be waiting for some friends, but I can't recall who they are."

"You're on the spaceship, Aurora, and your friends will be here soon. I'll pour you another bowl why we wait." Nastya swallows the lump in her throat.

"I don't think I'm hungry." Marius summons a violin out of nowhere. He begins to play a haunted melody as his eyes become unfocused and he just plays.

Nastya's smile drops. Maybe when he isn't so malnourished, he'll remember. It's been a constant cycle since she brought him on board. She even got his old clothes. Well, Aurora helped her make them. They hung on him like a tent.

Aurora flashes suddenly, and a screen opens up. A communication from another ship.

"Aurora! We can't just accept all hails." Nastya pauses as video comes through.

"Is this Aurora? This is Drumbot Brian. Everyone else is asleep for the night." Brian pauses before his eyes widen. "Nastya?"

"Brian?" Nastya gasps. "Aurora, take them on!"

A metal hand pops out with a thumbs up.

.......

Jonny yawns, rubbing his eyes. "Why did you wake us?" He shuffles forward following Brian. "Is it my turn to stand guard?"

Lyf stretches. "No, he wouldn't have woken all of us up." He stretches his tail.

Tim whistles the only noise he could make from his mouth at this point as he marches forward.

Brian nearly pushed the three out into a metal hanger. "Welcome back!"

Jonny yawns again. "Welcome back where?"

"Jonny?" Nastya gasps.

"Nastya?" Jonny's eyes soften. "I'm glad to see you again."

Tim waves he knows of her but never met her.

"O-oh, you left before I ever met you." Lyf holds out his hand. "I'm Lyfrassir Edda, the one Bifrost survivor, acolyte to Yog Sogoth. I think, honestly, don't really know what they want to do with me."

"You know Marius." Nastya's pupils widen.

"Yes! We were looking for him to help with Tim. He can't talk, and we really don't know what's up with the plants or radiation." Lyf pauses. "I also miss him."

"Follow me. All of you, please." Nastya smiles as Aurora chirps.

The soft haunting melody from a violin gets louder as they get closer to the med bay.

"Of course he's playing that stupid vio -" Lyf chokes on his words as the door opens, and he can see Marius.

His hair was long, barely moving, and his clothes hung off of him. He was like a skeleton with skin. His eyes were sunken in, and he was smiling. His hands were bleeding slightly as if he had been playing for days straight. The bandages that were new were stained. His tail hung limp off the table. Even his ears drooped.

Nastya swallows. "He was on a planet that was destroyed by a bio weapon virus, wiped out every living creature and plant. I have no idea how long he was there."

Marius stops playing, putting the violin to the side. "Hello! I'm Marius Von Raum. Who are you?"

"You... you know who I am." Lyf sucked in a breath.

"Do i?" Marius smiles. "I think I'm waiting for my friends to find me. Would you like to wait with me?"

Brian's silverish goldish hue paled.

Jonny had a stricken look on his features.

Tim for the first time since he was found frowned.

Lyf could feel pain try to steal his voice as tears tricked his eyes. "Marius, it's me, Lyfrassir, Lyf. You know me."

"Do I?" Marius continues to smile. "I'm quite sorry I seem to..." his eyes lose focus as another violin appears, and he begins to play again.

Nastya covers her mouth. "I've been trying to get him to eat more, but he can barely drink the broth I give him. If I could just get some weight on him, maybe he could remember something." She sucks in a breath. "He goes around like this every time. Please play along."

Lyf was crying. "N-no! This... this.... Marius." He pushed the violin away and sat next to him. "I'll wait for you. I'll wait with you."

"Aurora will bring the broth every hour for him. Also, some mashed vegetables." Nastya turns away. "We can only guess how long he was there, but the planet has been dead for tens of thousands of years at least."

Jonny reaches out and holds Nastya's hand. "Come on, show me where my new room is."

Nastya nods and leaves, Brian follows, and Tim wanders behind them but doesn't exactly follow.

......

"Don't you want a belt?" Nastya smiles.

Jonny shrugs. "I don't really need one. I made these clothes."

"What about your gun? I restocked the armory as well, Aurora even revamped the shooting range." Nastya smiles a bit wider.

Jonny shakes his head. "I'm ok. Thank you for the offer. Did you rebuild Ivy's library?"

"O-of course." Nastya frowns. "Why?"

"I think I want to read right now." Jonny hums. "I want to read something with a happy ending. Will you join me?"

Nastya freezes. "Jonny, are you ok?"

"Just a bit tired." Jonny hums softly as he walks down the hall, and Nastya follows with concern.

.......

"Why the fuck should I even let you on my ship?" A woman with horns that curl around her cow like ears. "I will accept everyone but you."

"Hello, Doctor Carmillia." TS waves from behind the woman.

Carmillia smirks. "I can tell you where your son is."

The woman didn't look impressed. "I can and will track him myself. Try again."

"Valerie, please, I promise to behave. I'm just trying to get them back together. The Mechanisms come on you want to help." Carmillia smiles, showing off her fangs.

Valerie narrowed her gaze and looked at the people behind her. "Names?"

"Raphaella, ma'am." She seemed less confident and deranged. "I want to try science experiments again. I... I...." She shakes under the gaze. "I don't want to be used anymore."

Valerie motions for her to come inside. "I'll keep ya safe." She watches Raphaella run inside her wings folded tightly against her back. "Who are you?"

"Ashes O'Reilly, quartermaster." Ashes crosses their arms. "You look like Jonny."

"That's because I'm his mother." Valerie hums. "As long as you don't fry the circuits, you can come on. However step out of line and I will leave you."

"Understood." Ashes nods and heads on.

"Ivy Alexandria." Ivy frowns. "I would like to return to my library. Books and records don't leave, time passes, and they will remain and grow."

"I've got a library on board, kid." Valerie sighs. "TS bring her on."

"Yes, Ma'am!" TS picks up Ivy and brings her on board.

Valerie returns her gaze to Carmillia. "You can come until I decide against it. If you try anything, I will make sure you never find us."

Carmillia smiles wide and runs on board.

........

"I am Marius Von Raum." Marius smiles. There's a bit more meat to his bones. "You are Lyfrassir Edda, and you are waiting with me."

Lyf nods, feeding Marius another bite. "Yes, that's right. We're going to not wander away from Med Bay today."

Marius has a bit of trouble swallowing, but he gets the stew down. "We are waiting together for my friends."

"Yes, we are." Lyf smiles. "Almost done, just one more bite." It's a bit of a struggle, but he gets Marius to finish. "We did it all done."

"I'm a doctor." Marius says while he gets up. "My friends don't believe me."

"Oh really?" Lyf puts the bowl down and follows Marius. This was new, and it lit a flame of hope in his chest.

"I went... I went." Marius furrows his brows, and the light flickers in his eyes. "I think I think...." He frowns, which was new. "Another... there was another war." He stops talking as his eyes lose focus, and he summons a violin. A haunting melody begins to play as he stands still and plays.

Lyf sighs. "You'll get there, and I'll be right here when you do." He guides Marius back to his bed, who keeps playing. He smiles softly and reaches out to pet his hair, which slowly reaches back out and wraps around his finger. "Yeah, we'll get him back."

.......

Jonny spent more time in the library, or the gardens than anywhere else. He seems to keep his mind busy, and violence seems to be the last thing on his mind. Eternity weighs on him.

Brian was in the gardens with Tim when Jonny walked in. "Good afternoon, Jonny."

Jonny nods in acknowledgment as he approaches Tim, who is growing new trees from his own vines. "Would you like to read with me?"

Tim paused as the flowers bloomed. He smiles as his new norm lets out a rasp and follows Jonny to the bench.

Jonny smiles. "This is a new one. We just picked up planet side, I've been told it ends very sweetly."

Brian smiles as he works on the vegetable garden. Jonny and Tim have always been close, and it seems they were trying to rebuild that even if both men have changed so much. Nastya was still trying to get Jonny to be violent. It wouldn't work.

Tim's gaze drifts as he leans on Jon. This was normally the sign that he was about to sleep. His behavior was random at best, but you pick up cues on what he is doing.

Jonny hums softly, closing the book. "You're right it is better to take a nap. I am a bit tired."

.......

Valerie hums softly as she leans back. "What is it?"

"I um well..." Raphaella walks slowly towards Valerie. "How have you not... I mean, it's been just as long for you."

"We found her again." Audrey smiles she appears.

Valerie shakes her head. "I've already changed, but I've accepted my reality. I know each of you has suffered, and I understand that it wasn't easy being alone, but it takes time. You'll never be who you were, but you'll just be different, and that's ok."

"I want to be me again." Raphaella shakes. "My experiments won't ... haven't worked."

"You're already you." Valerie smiles. "You just have to accept you changed."

Raphealla sighs but relaxes. "Can I have some blood?"

"Mine or in general?" Valerie smirks.

Raphealla smiles shyly.

.......

Lyf hums softly as he mixes the batter. He was humming "Tales to be Told." Marius was playing the violin part he wasn't all there today, but he was still good company.

Marius finally looked healthy, but his mind was still not together. He was beginning to have lucid periods, but nothing concrete enough to recognize anyone.

"So what will it be today? Muffins or cake?" Lyf smiles, breaking his humming.

Marius continued to play, not noticing anything.

"Hmmm, you're right. Muffins are better because Tim hates cake. Afterward, we can cuddle and watch a movie." Lyf chuckles softly, pulling out a muffin tin. "Never understand why Tim hates cake. It's a perfectly fine dessert. I suppose pie is better, or a nice custard, or whatever that cactus stuff Jonny grows." He doesn't notice Marius had stopped playing.

"I like sweet breads." Marius blinks seemingly confused.

Lyf drops the pan out of shock, making a mess of the floor. "Shit shit shit. Fuck."

"I didn't know you could bake Inspector." Marius smiles.

Lyf freezes staring at Marius. "Marius?" He barely whispers.

"Yes?" Marius seemed confused as he looked around. "I don't.... I don't... where am I?"

"Aurora! The starship Aurora! We're in the kitchen." Lyf abandons the mess and rushes to Marius's side.

"N-no, that isn't.... that isn't possible." Marius started to look frustrated. "It's gone. I... I..." He tugs at his sensitive hair, trying to shock himself with pain. "N-no I went.... I didn't.... I..."

Lyf pulls Marius into a hug. "Breathe."

Marius shudders, and he stills. "Hello, Lyf, why are we hugging?"

Lyf sighs and pulls away. Progress isn't linear. He would say that all the time. "Because I like you."

"You do?" Marius tilted his head unsure. "You don't like me or my violin, though."

"I... um..." Lyf takes a breath. "You've grown on me."

"Like a mushroom?" Marius smiles.

"Yeah, like a mushroom." Lyf smiles back.

"Do you know when the train is coming?" Marius blinks as Lyf grips his shirt.

"I think it already has." Lyf swallows.

"That means we have to go." Marius smiles. "I think... I think..." He pulls away and summons a violin and begins to play.

"I don't want you to go." Lyf wipes his eyes. "Ok, it's time to clean up and try again. I'm thinking sweet bread." He smiles as Marius is playing a happy tune. "Yeah, sweet breads for you."

.......

Tim observed. That's what he does. He's the Watcher. It's hard to think of a time before that. Jonny is a familiar comfort, but he couldn't recall why. It hurts to think sometimes. He just wanted to be good. This place was very clean and he had his own room. He let his plants grow in his room. He was safe and not forgotten.

He feels as if he's missing something. The blue skinned woman keeps putting him in a room with weapons, but he doesn't want to be in there. He thinks her name is Nastya, and she seems sad all the time. He has tried to give her flowers and fruits, but it seems to just confuse her. He doesn't like being confused either. They call him Tim or Gunpowder, all of them do. The name is Familiar, and he will respond to it, but he's the Watcher. He's been that for a long time.

They keep asking him to speak, but he knows he can't. He forgot when he stopped, he forgot when he was able to. Marius is nice he doesn't ask him to speak. They play music together, Jonny gave him a guitar, and he knows how to play, but can't remember why or how he knows. Marius is nice he tells him secrets about war and survival. He's confused and scared like he is.

He liked to work with his hands. He can grow his plants with his hands and dirt. Brian was also nice with his hands. He always seemed to help him clean up like the others. It's not like he tries to be dirty, but his plants need soil, and the bad, painful thing inside of him always hurt others, but he didn't seem bothered. Brian always said he was warm, but that's it, and that made him happy. He thinks he is making Jonny sick because he's always tired, but he doesn't complain.

He doesn't like the heavy clothes Lyf gives him. They are familiar, but they cover his plants and weigh him down. He doesn't want to get them dirty either. They seem important because everyone gives him the coat back. Lyf talks about his eyes a lot and asks him to look for things. He likes Lyf, he asks him to do his job and he likes that. He's a bit weird with his colors and static, but he makes Marius very happy.

Everyone asks him about violence or guns. He can't tell them the truth. He doesn't want to be a weapon anymore. They can't know he was a weapon, but he thinks they already do know. He likes Aurora, she is very nice, and helps him when he gets lost. She doesn't let him spread his roots anywhere, but the garden, she said it hurts. He apologized for it but still didn't quite understand how it hurt. It used to hurt him. He can remember when they used those weapons again on earth. They just rebuilt, too.

He can remember the burning, and he was trying to save something, or was it someone. He didn't really know anymore, but he thought the fighting was over something dumb. The bombs were loud and dirty, and they didn't leave anything but radiation. The first time, if he could recall properly, they recovered and regrew. They were thriving, and then someone got upset and built them again.

He wanted to tell his story, but his hands shake really bad when he tries to write. Jonny is really patient with him. They nap together a lot. Maybe one day he'll remember why Jonny calls him his amazing destruction and why he loves him so much.

.......

Nastya nearly jumped when Aurora was suddenly hailed. They've been peaceful, and nobody should even bother them. She sighs and takes the video call. "This is Nastya of the starship Aurora and pilot Drumbot Brian."

Brian nods, adjusting his hat.

"This is Valerie of well Audrey you aren't bothering me today, so Audrey." The woman leans back as a familair doctor is handcuffed to the side. "We've been looking for you."

"Carmillia?" Brian blinks stunned. "Jonny mentioned something when we first found him. Guess it was true." He shrugs and begins to brush out his tail.

"What happened to the body I made you?" Carmillia leans forward, tugging on the cuffs.

"I became a pet to a bunch of deities." Brian shrugs.

"Is the inspector with you?" Valerie smiles softly.

"Lyf?" Nastya pauses and nods. "He is with us, Aurora?" She pauses. "He's making lunch with Marius. As for Jonny and Tim, they are in the gardens taking a nap."

A familair figure rushed in. "Nastya?"

"Ashes!" Nastya smiles wide.

"Are you alright? We've been looking for a long time." Ashes grins. "You've got Jonny and Tim, I've missed them. Are they up for drinks?"

Nastya's face falls. "It would be easier to explain if you saw them in person." She can see the frustration grow on Ashes face.

"Ashes, that's enough." Valerie sighs and holds her hand up. "May we board?"

"Aurora, let them on." Nastya cuts the feed and covers her face

......

They were loud the moment they returned to the Aurora. It was like coming home, but everything was wrong. Nastya was alone to greet them.

"Where's everyone? What's with this lack luster welcoming party?" Ashes huffs and crosses heir arms. "Not that I'm not happy to see you. I expected a bullet to the brain or fire." They pause. "I can set something on fire."

Nastya looks at the others who come out. "Raphaella, TS, and Ivy. It's nice to see you."

"Where is everyone?" Ivy frowns. "There is a 65% chance Jonny and Tim are causing damage to the Aurora. A 45% chance Marius and Lyf are having sex somewhere, and an 85% chance Brian is in the gardens."

"You wouldn't be right." Jonny sighs. Tim was behind him. "It is nice to see you guys again." He looked exhausted. "Have you guys been having fun?" He's wearing his goggles and had a book in his hand. His signature belts were gone, and he was in casual, comfortable clothes.

Tim still had shirt hair and a perfectly trimmed beard. He was in a plain t-shirt with dirt stains. He was in shorts, and vines traveled his arms and legs and into his skin. He smiles and waves opening his mouth to produce a rasp.

"Tim can't talk anymore. He's also radioactive. You can find him by following the dried plant footprints." Nastya sighs. "Jonny, have you seen Marius?"

"He's not lucid if that's what you're asking." Jonny frowns. "Lyf is doing some chores while he plays. It's a happy tune, though."

"What do you mean by not lucid?" Raphaella cautiously moves forward. "I don't think... actually, I don't think Tim knows who we are."

Ashes stomps forward, startling Raphaella, and Jonny stops them from touching Tim.

"Leave them be." Jonny sighs. "There isn't a point to hurt him."

"What happened to you?" Ashes stares at him.

Jonny shrugs. "I'm just a bit tired."

Valerie steps forward. "Of course you are." She smiles sadly and holds out her hand. "How about a walk?"

Jonny nods and takes her hand. "May I take Tim with us?"

"Whatever you wish, Sand Skipper." Valerie takes his hand, and they go down the halls. Tim follows behind without a word.

Ashes are fuming, and Ivy stops them from shooting. "What has gotten into everyone one? This isn't right. We've been seporated before, for eons, and we never ended up like this. We aren't supposed to be broken. We've been through worse, so what if we didn't truly die?"

.......

The faint violin music alerted Ivy from her library. It wasn't Nastya she didn't have her violin. Well, it was still in here. They said Marius is here, but none of them have caught him in the halls of Aurora. At least Lyf has made sure of that. Curiosity had gotten the better of her, and she might as well see what had happened to him.

Marius looked the same, except for his clothes, they were purposely soft, it seemed. He was walking around playing.

Ivy clears her throat.

Marius seems to pause and drop his violin to his side. "Hello!" He turns and smiles.

"Hello Marius." Ivy keeps a neutral expression.

"You know me." Marius tilts his head.

"Of course I do. There is a 57.92% chance this is a game." Ivy's voice was emotionless.

Marius pauses no look of recognition in his eyes. "I'm waiting for my friends to find me. Would you like to wait with me?"

Ivy's face morphed to confusion. "Marius, you know me. I'm Ivy. You spend hours in my library looking at romance novels and bad poetry."

Marius seems to lose focus. "You seem very nice, miss, but I have to get back to waiting. I'm sure my friends will be back here soon." He brings the violin back up.

Ivy slaps the instrument out of Marius's hands. "No! NO NO NO!" She can feel sparks fly from her head. "You are Doctor Baron Marius Von Raum, who is neither a baron or a doctor, and my friend. You are my friend." She felt emotions swirl in her head things she can remember truly feeling since before her mind was mechanized.

Marius's eyes seem to lose their hue. He summons another violin and begins to play. He slowly starts to walk in a random direction. The music is haunting.

Ivy is shaking. "Don't just walk away! Don't... Don't.... I didn't mean to leave." She begins to follow Marius. "I think my mechanism is malfunctioning." She can feel something leak from her eyes, and she didn't know her species could cry. She didn't know she was still capable of crying.

.......

Jonny was reading to him in the garden before the sound of a gunshot, and he was splattered with bits of blood, bone, flesh, and brain. Jonny was reading to him, and now he slumped over, and his head was gone. Jonny was ready to him, and now they were talking, boasting about how finally this would get fun get normal.

Tim reached out like a child who didn't know any better and gently shook Jonny in vain. They were still laughing and talking. Jonny didn't move, Jonny was gone. Gone. Gone. Gone. He watched. That's what he did he just watched. Why did he watch? Why? Why?whywhywhywhywhy? He was good. He had to be good.

Bad gets replaced.

Bad gets punished.

Bad loses.

They stopped making noise when the roots settled. They made a very good trophy. They had useless metal. They didn't need it. They were taken care of. He did good. He will watch now. He is the watcher, that is what he does, and he is good.

"Tim?"

He stared at the tree twisted red roots, and fruit bloody dripped from the thick branches.

"Tim."

The leaves were white like bone, and the thorns were sharp teeth. The veins pulsed as the tree flourished.

"Tim!"

He stumbles back as Jonny pulls him from his roots and his feet bleed. It hurt. Aurora asked him not to make roots. He frowns, staring at the tree, red dripped from the massive towering twisted thing.

"Tim." Jonny's voice was soft. "Tim, can you hear me?"

He adjusted his gaze. Jonny was back. His head grew back. He forgot something important. He... he didn't know who Tim was. He should know who Tim is. He wanted to listen to a story. A story about the moon. He opens his mouth as a silent rasp leaves his lips.

Jonny pulls Tim into a tight hug. "I'm ok. I'm always ok. We have eternity, don't you remember?"

He rasps again, trying to ask for the story about the moon. Jonny knows it. Jonny can tell him who Tim is. His eyes... his eyes grew deeper roots.

Jonny smiles. "Ashes is fine, too. They left, and they went to get Raphaella. She'll be excited to experiment with this." He pulls Tim along. "Come on, I'll help you clean up. We can take a nap after, and then I'll find a better story to read to you."

He follows along, holding on tightly to Jonny's hand. Jonny will tell him. Jonny always had stories to tell. He'll know who Tim is.

.......

New rules were written. New rules bathed in blood and pain.

Ashes stared at the new rule list nailed to the wall of the commons. Their limbs still felt wrong. They didn't understand what happened, that... that tree was still there. A stark reminder of change. They didn't find them fast enough. They turned their gaze to Raphaella, who was watching them.

"Did it hurt?" Raphaella almost sounded innocent.

"Of course it did." Ashes sighs. "You can test it if you so desire."

"I think I want to give Tim his voice back." Raphaella was nervous. "Human vocal cords can recover disuse. His has not. I want to know why. Will you.... will you help me?" She held an old spark in her eyes.

Ashes smiles softly. "I would love to."

[mosylufanfic]

RCWhumptober Day 29

I decided to use an alternate prompt for today, "aftermath of failure." This isn't as whumpy as some of my others, but they're both suffering.

Visiting Hours

For the fourth time in as many hours, Jyn was fighting with a reception droid. "I need to see him. I need to."

"The patient is a level four," the droid said stolidly. "Level four is not permitted non family visitors."

By this time, Jyn was very familiar with the leveling system of the Alliance medical ward. Level one meant you were in for a squirt of bacta gel, maybe an antiviral shot, and back to your quarters. 

As far as she could tell, level five meant death's door. 

A doctor came through one of the doors. They were Mirialan, their facial tattoos faded, the way they got without upkeep. The doctor themself looked as faded as their tattoos, deep purple shadows under their eyes. "What's this racket?" they said. 

"This civilian is insisting on seeing a level four patient. I have stated repeatedly that it is not possible."

"It's possible, you're just being a prick," Jyn fired back. 

"You're Jyn Erso," the doctor said.

She set her jaw. She couldn't read the tone of their voice. Was it contempt? Anger? "I need to see him," she repeated.

"Level fours are permitted fifteen minutes with a family member," the doctor said to the droid. 

"This is not a family member," it said. "The patient has no family listed."

The doctor looked at her searchingly. "Given that, I think we can fudge it." 

The droid made a very annoyed sound, but twisted its body back to face the door, pissily ignoring Jyn.

She tried not to think of another pissy droid. You are continually unexpected. 

The doctor jerked their head at Jyn. "In through here. Decon chamber first."

“When does my fifteen minutes start?” she asked, following them.

"I'll let you know." They hit the button to seal off the decon chamber and Jyn screwed up her face. It was a sonic process, stronger than the sonic showers that she'd used all her life but no different in theory. Still, the enclosed chamber made her teeth itch.

They let her out on the other end and escorted her down a sterile white ward, beds cloaked in plastic on either side. Some of them were from Scarif, she knew.

Not enough of them.

She swallowed hard.

The doctor stopped her in front of the last bed in the row. "Listen," they said quietly. "The only reason, and I mean the only one, that I made this exception is because he's been asking for you."

"He's conscious, then."

"Yes. He won't look so bad. But don't let that fool you. His injuries are primarily internal, and they are severe."

"I know. I was there."

"He has a long way to go before we can downgrade him even to level three. So I wouldn't tell him anything too . . . upsetting."

She gave them a flat look. "What am I supposed to talk about, doctor? The weather?"

They pressed their lips together and unsealed the plastic. "Fifteen minutes starting now," they said. "There's a button on his bedside table. If you need anything, hit it. Someone will respond."

Do you think anyone's out there?

I do. Someone's listening.

At the rustle of plastic, Cassian's eyes turned toward her. He couldn't move any more than that. He was braced six ways to Centaxday, immobile so his shattered bones and his lacerated insides could knit up. Deep shadows like bruises ringed his eyes, and his skin was pallid under the bruises and the stubble. "Jyn," he said hoarsely.

She mustered up a smile, or an approximation of one. "Hi," she said. "Don't you look like shit."

He smiled back. "The plans," he said haltingly. "Nobody - will tell me - "

"Let's not talk about that right now," she said. 

His eyes fastened on her face, and after a moment, he made a noise of assent. "Who - did we - lose?" he asked then.

"Um. A lot," she said. "Seven made it back."

That was it. Seven out of thirty. Twenty-three dead on the blood-soaked sand, their bodies turned to ash by the Death Star's vicious eye.

"I don't know most of their names," she said. "I didn't really have the time." And she hadn't thought she would make it back, so it hadn't seemed important. On this side of things, it felt massively important to know who'd given their life for her last-ditch rogue mission.

"S'okay," he muttered. "I'll hear."

"That one guy, you know the one? From Wobani? I hit him with a shovel."

"Melshi," he said.

"Yeah, that's it. He's somewhere around here." She gave a general sort of wave, indicating the medical wing. "Level two, I think. He got us off the beach. Stole a shuttle, got us back here."

Cassian's eyes widened. "Bodhi?"

She felt her mouth tremble. "Got hit with a grenade or something. It took out our shuttle, that's why Melshi had to steal one. Someone pulled him out. He got back alive, but he's - it's bad. Level five bad. He's been in bacta since we landed. It's all - it's all very touch and go."

He absorbed that. "Baze," he said. "Chirrut?"

"On the surface," she said, and didn't have to say anything more.

It felt wrong that they'd left them there. Jyn didn't know what kind of burial rituals Guardians had, or Jedhans for that matter. She felt sure it hadn't included being vaporized by the blast of a planet killer. 

"They wouldn't - have wanted - to be without - each other," Cassian said. 

She nodded. "And. Well. You know what happened to Kay."

"Backup," he murmured. "Kay always - backup."

It wouldn't do much good without a chassis, and knowing that pissy droid he'd broken his backup into pieces and hidden it through seventeen databases just to make trouble for them. But it made her smile a little. "Well, that's something."

They sat in silence for a time. Jyn could almost hear her fifteen minutes ticking away.

"You," he said. "How - are you?"

She gestured at herself. "In one piece. Got banged up, but nothing some bacta gel couldn't handle." She rubbed at the edge of the bed. "They're not sure what to do with me. Not like I can get court martialed or something. Surprised they didn't shove me in the prison cells again, honestly."

Especially after -

Well. 

"Glad you - stayed," he said. 

Mon Mothma had offered her the shuttle - "that was the agreement," she'd said in her calm voice - and Jyn had rejected it with a firmness that hadn't seemed to surprise the other woman at all. 

"Where would I go?" she said rhetorically.

His hand lay on the covers near his hip. He turned it palm up in a motion that looked like it hurt his whole body.

She put hers over it - "don't" - and saw the little smile. She rolled her eyes and left her hand where it was. 

"Jyn," he said. "The plans."

"I don't - it's not - " 

"Please," he said. "Please."

She looked over her shoulder, through the cloudy plastic. No doctor to wag their finger at her.

And maybe it was selfish of her, but she desperately wanted to talk to someone. To share this pain that rode in her chest like a stone. 

She shut her eyes and took a few shaky breaths. When she opened them again, he was watching her, eyes urgent.

"One of our ships did receive the transmission," she said. "I don't remember what it was called but there was someone important aboard. A princess or something."

"Leia," he said. 

"Yeah, that was her. They sent a message they were on their way. But they got waylaid. A Star Destroyer. Over some dustball on the edge of nowhere. I'd never even heard of the system." She frowned. "-tooine, something."

"Dantooine?" he said, brows pulling together in concern.

"No, not that one. Tatooine. That's it. Like I said, never heard of it."

"What - happened?"

She was stalling. She knew it. 

"They took the ship," she said. 

He sucked in his breath. "Did anyone - "

"Everyone aboard was either dead or captured. The ship itself was destroyed."

"The plans," Cassian said. 

"Nobody knows," she said. "Maybe they were aboard the ship, maybe the Empire took them back - we don't know."

If only she'd kept them. If only she'd grabbed the data cartridge out of the transmission station. But she'd thought it was all right, with all those ships in orbit backing them up, and Cassian had looked as if he was about to collapse. Her first thought had been him. 

"They're gone," he said.

She nodded dumbly. "And there's more."

"How?"

"We got news today. Alderaan." She could barely say. "The Death Star attacked Alderaan."

"Like Jedha?"

"Worse," she said. "Much worse. The whole planet."

"The whole - "

"Yes," she choked out, and saw the horror dawn in his eyes as he took that in.

It was stardust, shattered to nothingness. A whole planet. Not one like Jedha or Scarif, either, that could be covered up or written off as a mining accident. They'd flicked their fingers and destroyed Alderaan, a Core world with a population in the billions. With that one stroke, the Empire had established that it could do whatever it wanted and nobody could stand against it. 

And the plans . . . the plans they'd worked so hard to find, sacrificed so many. Saw, her father. Bodhi and Baze and Chirrut and Kay, and everyone else who'd died on Scarif or come back in pieces. They'd fought so hard, they'd lost so much, and - 

"It was for nothing." She felt a tear, hot as lava, slide out of her eye and carve a burning path down her cheek. "It was all for nothing."

FINIS

[seldonhari]

Tag game: tag 9 people you’d like to get to know better

Tagged by the loveliest @somebirdortheother!! Thank you, friend

Last song: Tu Rumba. I'm listening to Just Coolin' right now, but I'm not sure if I can call it a "song"

Currently watching: I started Mad Men last week and I'm planning to rewatch Peter Capaldi's Doctor Who episodes. Or not. To be quite honest, I'd rather go back to reading more in my free time

Three ships: Not in a super shippy mood, either. Hmm. Let's go with Twelve and Clara - the ultimate ship, Gene and Alex (from Ashes to ashes), James and Anna (from Above Suspicion lmao, Ciarán Hinds girlies will understand)

Favourite colour: Warm orange and Autumn yellow

Currently consuming: Jared Harris interviews Sugar-free cookies (dinner) and tea

First ship: I'd say twelveclara, but I vaguely remember shipping House and Cuddy when I was a kid (Terrible, I know). Can I mention a brotp here? Because I ADORED Alan Shore and Denny Crane from Boston Legal (Was this show even real?)

Relationship status: The next best thing to be

Last movie: Much Ado About Nothing (1993)

Currently working on: 1) My Spanish? 2) Goddamn Christmas cards (for 2024, because I'm late this year) and a few drawings for moots aka you

Tagging (no pressure) @daincrediblegg @merrycrozier @lady-of-imladris @queenmeriadoc @partywithponies @cakesandsnouts @camecrawlingback @csswingandeasy @lillersdabomb and everyone who feels like participating

[lordy-lou]

and now you are and i am now

written for @tentoorosemicrofics, stretching the prompts of “edge” and “singing” beyond all possible recognition.  check it out on ao3 here.

As Rose stands, shattered-fixed-frozen and holding his human-sweaty hand on that blustering beach, the Doctor is suddenly reminded of poetry.

Not of any one specific poem, mind you, but instead of the idea of poetry as a whole: rhyme, meter, repetition and symbolism, all words and silences and spacing trying to express that which is too much to be borne.  All art aspires to the condition of music, he remembers, he knows, and poetry comes the closest, a gratifyingly representational element wrapped up in abstraction and inference.  A rhetorical bent, a meandering and cutting of thoughts wrapped up in syllabic precision, in artful chaos.  

He wonders what the poetry is like in this universe.   Different—new—connotations and allusions.  Perhaps a bluebird meant despair, a croaking raven upon a bust a harbinger of fortune.  A phoenix, death.  No stirring ashes here.

As under a green sea he imagines drowning.  Physical life as perpetual motion, and his single heart hares towards its conclusion contraction by contraction, his mind a tremulous wisp constantly reforming itself in the stream of blood and sense impressions.  His sense of time, of potentiality, the complex biology of a being capable of experiencing and witnessing and manipulating the block universe—oh, it’s all there, the shutter-slides of possible moments one after the other clicking past like a child’s image viewer.

Rose's eyes are wet and luminous in the afternoon sun, staring at the disappearing indented square where the TARDIS had parked in the sand, and when she finally looks at him, he is trapped in her gaze like a failing satellite in a deprecating orbit.

Poetry. He’s never been good with words, gob notwithstanding.  Couldn’t ever get the right ones out when it’d mattered most, couldn’t see the… the… not effect, not point, but necessity of something so intangibly small and terrifying as  I love you.   His people hadn’t had a term for it, in the end.  They hadn’t had poetry, either, not in the way that the others in the universe had in more-than-equal measure.  They’d had art in the most rigid and elegant of representations, with love and brilliance and joy expressed through equation instead of emotion, and even then so repressed and turned down to a low, bare simmer that it paled in comparison to the lightning-fast boil of humanity.

It’s what’d drawn him to them in the first place.  That potential, that passion.  That poetry, that intervallic and linguistic playfulness, from the tight-structured villanelles to the Modernist explosion, of faces in a crowd to lost watches to shared oranges to an old pond all wrapped in heavy symbolism and interpretation; but always, the common fellow-feeling.  That one can read through and see another and the self in words, individuals bound together by the great weavings of the human experience.  

He can see himself mirrored in Rose’s eyes, and he half-hates the image he can see there.  So he pushes past, looks at her: a thinner face, lighter makeup, a tense, straight set to her shoulders under her leather jacket—and oh, how he wants to hold the rounds of those shoulders in his hands, to pull them from their flexion and gentle them until they’re soft against him.  He thinks of the bare skin of her, under his hands—

—and his mind, that tremulous wisp drowning under a stream of blood and sense impressions, flickers, and he brushes aside his time senses, his training all screaming at him to stop, stop, this is beneath you and it’s frighteningly easy to ignore the entirety of it with this new human element in his system.  Nearly a millennium of self- and societal-imposed asceticism, up in flames for a woman who had looked at him with tender, brave eyes and offered her company to an old, broken man.  

He doesn’t find a single atom of regret in the ashes of his strictures.

His grip on her hand changes, fingers twining like he’s found home, and he steps closer to her, his brilliant, bowed human love.  She hasn’t stopped staring at him, like he’s something unreal.  Perhaps he is.  He doesn’t feel quite real, in this moment that continues to flow from could be to wriggly now to solid past.  Time is passing,  and he only has so many heartbeats left.

“Rose,” he starts.  She’s still silent, but she’s turned to face him, all tightly-wound limbs and runner’s grace kicking through her bones. “Rose—,” he begins again, and his throat closes up, so he snarls at the sky instead.  Her hand squeezes his, and he looks back to her.  There is something quiet and considering in her gaze, now.  He wants to give her anything, everything, all of him.

Poetry.  

He’s always been shit at it, honestly.

“Did you mean it?” she says into his tortured silence.  “What you said?”

He tilts his head.  Thinks of recitations he could give to her, arcing words of beauty he knows he could never really deliver correctly.  He brushes his thumb against hers slowly as he thinks, and he catalogues and revels in the shudder that rushes through her and then through him in return.  Thinks of—no, knows, his time senses and potentialities flickering back in at his bequest—growing old with her, grey and withered, and that self-same shudder at the rasp of skin on skin, of a growing TARDIS and comfortable mornings wrapped up in each other, house-rattling arguments, a child wild with laughter at a birthday cake, paired golden rings growing dull and scratched with time and adventure and love and death—

Gently, he steps finally, fully into her space, and his free hand cups her jaw.

“Oh, Rose Tyler,” he says, resting his forehead against hers.  Their breaths mingle and he can hear the blood rushing through his veins, pounding in his ears.  “I meant every word.”  For the first time since the golden fire of the time vortex embodied, he presses his lips to hers.  Beneath him, she hums, and there is a smile on her lips and tears on her cheeks as she kisses him back.

“Good,” she whispers between breaths.  Then she laughs softly as he chases across her cheek with kisses, and he wants to hear that sound forever. No weight of the universe on him now, only the comforting pressure of gravity and fatigue in his bones; only the sweet press of Rose Tyler against his chest.

His heart beats ever on.

[just-me-venting-cause-life-sucks]

Hey! COD fandom! Especially the ones who ship Ghost and Soap together!

You're not in trouble or anything, I just wanted to get your attention.

Now, I know that you like your fictional characters to be war criminals, gay and not mentally well. And so, I would like to share with you something that I have been obsessing over since... *looks at the calendar* September.

I would like to introduce you to... THE MECHANISMS.

The Mechanisms is a music band of immortal storytelling space pirates, who have fun where possible, violence when necessary(and unnecessary), and if they are lucky, then both at once!

The crew is very diverse, as only one character is of human origin. Here is a list of almost everyone in the crew(there are way too many):

Jonny d'Ville, the captain first mate, burned down a casino(?) after killing his dad

Gunpowder Tim, master at arms, blew up the Moon

Baron Marius von Raum, ship's doctor(he is not a doctor, he is not a Baron), we still don't really know

Drumbot Brian, the pilot, got flung into space

Ashes O'Reilly, quartermaster, burned down an entire planet, canonically uses they/them pronouns

Ivy Alexandria, archivist, she doesn't know either but there was fire

Nastya Rasputina, engineer, got killed in a revolution, canonically a lesbian and is having sex with the ship(we don't know how it works either, don't ask)

The Toy Soldier, yes, you read that right, this is a literal, human sized, wooden soldier, it will not leave them alone

I would recommend starting with their first album, Once Upon a Time (in space), and listening to each album in the order of release. You will cry because of how amazing it is. Please just give them a listen.

[itissnowing]

Tag 9 PPL U wanna get to know better

I'm going to combine it too xD @itslight666 @reznorty3

1. Three ships

Lawlight (duh xD), Lumity (Owl House), Eruri

(I have so many more 🥲 Historia/Ymir, Mello/Matt, Viktuuri, Ash/Eiji...)

2. First ever ship

I don't remember, it was either Doctor/Master from Doctor Who or Stexpert. The last one was a YouTube germany ship that was even shipped by the two people involved in it xDDD sixth grade was a wild place

3. Last song

L.A. Woman - The Doors

4. Last movie

Terminator 3

5. Currently reading

Sasaki and Miyano, Attack on Titan, Bullet Train

6. Currently watching

Star Trek The Original Series

7. Currently consuming

Ate some chips

8. Currently craving

A good grade in my physics exam and sleep

9. Tagging

@jessynote @pebblesgum @ratbefriender @cupid-bunny-light-yagami and anyone who wants to join :DD

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Trials and Defibrillations (Intermission 1)

Prev

He wasn’t particularly sure when he had stopped being human.

He had been, once, of that he was sure. He had once had a name, but he had long-since forgotten it. It didn’t really matter to him.

He couldn’t remember who that person was.

He only had the vaguest, blurriest memories of a time Before.

He’d had a father and a mother, and he remembered that he didn’t particularly like them. He remembered feeling trapped, constantly, remembered clawing at walls until his fingernails broke off. He remembered begging until his voice was raw. He remembered being pressed down, drinks and food and substances that shouldn’t have been called either getting forced down his throat in the name of a search for an elixir of life. He remembered a needling voice in the back of his head saying there was a solution to all of that.

He remembered a lot of blood and fire. That, too.

But all of that was hazy. It didn’t even feel like him. It was like he was in the back of someone else’s head, watching as they went through life. As they wandered.

Not that he hadn’t enjoyed wandering. He had learned to find newness interesting, refreshing. Time passed him by, and he knew instinctively that he should have been gone long ago, and yet there he was.

It was boring.

Humans, he found, were hard to get bored of. Even when you disregarded the differences caused by genetics, they were so varied. Sure, the ones he had met first had sucked, and maybe that was part of the reason he had started testing his abilities in the first place… but, if he was being honest with himself, he had just wanted to. Humans were interesting, and he wanted to make them more interesting.

And so he did.

He found he was never happier than when he was standing over a corpse, whether or not he had caused it was irrelevant.

Though causing it, he had to admit, was pretty fun.

So, that was what he did. He found more and more creative ways to send a civilization spiraling. Fires were his favorite, simple and effective and allowing for immediate gratification. But sometimes he went for more long-form methods. Watching people tear each other apart, their civilization collapsing under the weight of their own conflicting egos, was always a gratifying task.

Of course, eventually the fun would end, the city would lay in rubble at his feet, and he would have to move on. Satisfy himself with nature’s cruelty and learning new hobbies and languages while he waited to stumble upon a new place.

One time, he had been found out. A partner had realized he hadn’t been aging far sooner than he had thought they would, before he could get away.

And he had been worshiped as a god.

The town had ended up burned to ashes, but the idea had never really left him.

A god, he had thought. Well, that explained it.

And, as if to confirm the thought, he began seeing the numbers. A countdown over people’s heads telling him when, exactly, they were going to take their last breath.

Usually, the numbers were pretty small when he thought to look up and read them.

And that was his life. Not one that most would feel comfortable living – hell, even he wasn’t enjoying it, he was more than aware that, as the years passed, he felt less and less like the human he was born – but it was his.

Until she came along.

It was a normal day. He had long-since learned how to introduce plagues. It wasn’t even hard, really. Sometimes, if he really concentrated, he could even choose some of the symptoms.

And, so, he’d unleashed it on a random town he had come across.

It was going great.

Until he had noticed her.

A doctor, it seemed. He had been mildly surprised. Women didn’t often get to work outside of the homes because they were seen as too precious to get in harm’s way, but he supposed her being a doctor was still a stereotypically ‘womanly’ job, with the healing and bedside manners and all that…

Or maybe they were just desperate. She looked pretty young. Maybe fifteen or so. They were probably desperate.

But that wasn’t why he had concentrated on her.

No, it was because the number above her head said that she was set to live for another ten years.

He didn’t often interfere beyond his original nudges to get them where they wanted. Why would he? Too much interference would make things too monotonous, he would much rather watch people react in real time to the destruction heading their way. He wasn’t concerned with the scientific method’s emphasis on validity and reliability, he just wanted thing to be interesting. So, he introduced a situation and stepped back.

He didn’t often see anomalies like this, though, and he couldn’t help but want to learn more.

How was she going to live for so long? Everyone else was set to die in the next half a year or so, max. What was wrong? Was his plague so poorly constructed that a teenager could fight it off? Was it her?

He had decided to, just this once, clamber out of the belltower he had been using for a good vantage point, gather up a few items, and go to talk to her.

The bell over her door dinged. Her head shot up from where she had been grinding down a couple of herbs.

The smock she was wearing was large enough on her for him to want to laugh, but he was sure that it was helping her lengthened lifespan. Less exposed skin made for less ways for the plague to get her. Damn it. He knew he should have made it an airborne disease.

Whatever. He’d figure it out.

“Hi,” he said, leaning against the doorframe, tugging the strap of his bag up his shoulder. “Am I interrupting anything?”

She smiled at him. It was a kind thing that reached her eyes. She was the epitome of a kindly doctor. “Not at all! I can do this and talk.”

He smiled gratefully and opened his mouth to say something, but she cut him off before he could:

“Has anyone ever told you your eyes look kinda like a cat’s?” She asked, pointing to the pupils that had slowly dilated over time.

He raised an eyebrow. “Has anyone ever told you your freckles make you look like a ladybug?”

Her face flushed red. Ironically, that only served to make her look more like one.

He crossed his arms over his chest, smiling a too-sharp grin. “Yeah. Weird thing to tell someone, right?”

“Sorry, sorry,” she said, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear and then thinking better of it (damn). “I guess that was wrong of me.”

He snorted. “It was. You should be very sorry.”

“I am! I even said it twice, so. That’s, like, extra sorry.”

“Oh, I see, I see,” he said. “Well, I’d be willing to forgive you, for a ‘price’. I’m here for a reason, and all.”

She glanced him up and down, no doubt taking in the skinny frame he had had for the longest time. He’d never really seen a need to eat when he didn’t need it for sustenance, it was a lot of effort to get food and even more to get specific currencies for it, and he had long-since grown used to the quiet hunger that had settled in him.

“Are you looking to be a patient?”

She looked a little tense, now. Her shoulders had already been hiked up to her ears since the moment he had spotted her, her infirmary was already running out of room, but he was sure she would say yes regardless.

Luckily for her, that wasn’t the cover he had gone with. He didn’t know how he was supposed to fake his death when he couldn’t even be injured.

He reached into his bag and pulled out a jar of leeches. If he was going to be committing to this, he was also going to be committing purposeful malpractice by introducing terrible ideas to the masses. “I’m a doctor from another town, actually.”

“Ohhhh. A foreign doctor. Why’re you here, did you get kicked out?” She asked, grinning.

He huffed. Actually, he had moved on after making them all tear each other apart, thanks. “I figured you guys could use all the help you can get.”

Her grin lessened somewhat and she looked down at the man curled in on himself on her table. He looked too pale, some sick clinging to the corner of his mouth. She gripped her mortar and pestle tighter.

“I’m going to figure this out.”

No, you won’t, he thought.

“I hope so,” he lied through his teeth. He held a hand out to shake. “Adrien Agreste.”

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” she said, giving a slight bow in recognition instead. “Sorry about not taking your hand, but I don’t know if you’re safe yet and I don’t want the miasma to get to me.”

He let the hand drop, dispelling the plague that had been lingering on the tips of his fingers. No wonder she was going to live longer than the rest despite her occupation putting her in the line of fire. “Probably for the best.”

She giggled, setting down her chemicals. She clapped her hands together. “Well, if you want to try out your leeches, then I have another patient in the next room!”

“I’d love to see them,” he said and, for the first time during that entire conversation, he wasn’t lying.

+++

Up next: Jonathan is shocked to find out that being saved by a child is actually a short cut to adopting them

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Trials and defibrillations masterlist

[legiomiam]

I cannot find an ask meme so HERE please tell me five facts each about two characters whose names start with R (I know you have a lot 😤🖤🌲)

Okay I should finally answer this:

5 facts about two characters with R names and I have a lot but probably no facts okie dokie here we go:

I talk enough about Rashka so let's talk about her kids instead Reign and Renee. Though I may do all 3 because at least one fact for them all ties together.

Reign fact 1: Reign wasn't the OG main character when I first created them in 2014. They were honestly an older brother for an OC named Europe for a Divergent fic that I was working on. It was supposed to be like the group as they left chicago found a different facility that was an abandoned testing site the Bureau had made. Reign at the time was a young 20s gay man who fell in love with a doctor and watched his kids.

Rashka fact 1: So Rashka was dead. Like in the OG story when it was a divergent AU. And she and Brahm did not have a good relationship and she was the younger sister of a character named Velda who was the mom of Reign and Europe, and wife of Brahm. When the story started slipping from a divergent fic it became really dark really fast as I tried to figure out how to write a dystopian about these siblings who were hiding from their tyrant father.

Renee fact 1: Renee did not exist either not for a bit, anyways. So then I came up with Matheson who was just Mahdi and had his own story where he was the kid that Velda ran away with so he didn’t grow up with his siblings Europe and Reign who were left behind. As the story got dark and it became that they went back to their home they found Rashka had been living in the walls of their home as punishment. There wasn’t enough spice because Reign and Matty had beef with how they grew up that I wanted another sibling to sorta balance it out thus Renee was created and much much younger. For me in 2014 I was 20 and based my age and my characters together: Reign was 24, Matty was 20, Europe was 17, and Renee was 9.

Reign fact 2: her story came well after a big shift in what I was writing. I went from dystopian and having already started thinking of a different dystopian story (From Ashes And Dust) that I didn’t want two dystopians and I really wanted to get back into fantasy, the switch happened after reading ACOTAR. So I came up with an idea of a story of Vampires and Fae being mortal enemies but I had no characters. Reign came back to life with a vengeance wanting to be at the forefront instead of their sister Europe (who would later go on her own drastic change). I wrote so much none of it made sense because I had no real plot, just scenes I wanted to get down. This bitch also really didn’t like the fact her now mother (Rashka) and her father Brahm didn’t get along so they shifted into a begrudging relationship.

Rashka fact 2: Her story came once I got a plot for Reign’s and then I realized that writing on how the siblings all came to be was gonna be more than a few chapters, Rashka’s story needed to be told, along with the fact that she started being more than a vampire that had some kids with a Fae. In writing her, her relationship with Brahm changed as did her relationship with her parents and her own children. She was no longer a character’s mother but an extension of myself.

Renee fact 2: *spoilers for a part of the plot*  He was still very 2 dimensional and for most part referred to as Reign 2.0 or the remix. But when I started plotting both Reign and Rashka’s stories to figure out what would be told where he was the only one who didn’t believe Reign was dead when she got banished for being part Fae. And was the first to look for her and create Reign’s story into the idea that the children have their own stories to tell. He also aged up much more so if they existed now their ages would be: Reign- 28 (same age as me), Matheson- 27, Sonja- 24, Renee- 23

Okay now into some few actual not depressing story building facts about the characters

Reign fact 3: Reign is trans/trans nonbinary and uses they/them and she/her pronouns. Her transition came at the time I was figuring myself out. Yes parents and siblings are accepting and there was never an idea for them not to be EVER. Rashka and Brahm are too proud of their children. When she is feeling like she wants to look more masc they only use they/them. And as a shapeshifter it's easy. That came along with Reign stealing the MC spotlight from their sister.

Rashka fact 3: Her name was a weird thing to happen it just came to me one day. She was just ‘nameless mother’ and then it’s like boom her name is Rashka same with her last name Ananulli. I know I wanted a mix of names that could be found online or in baby books and name sites and a mix of ones that I made up. And it worked because I based her family off a mix of ethnicities, races, cultures because I’m mixed race, at the time I was married to someone who was not of my race either and I had step children my ex had used a surrogate for with their first spouse who was not of either of our races. So all in all Rashka’s mother is afro hispanic and her father is asian and come from two different areas in this world where they do not speak each other’s languages at first. My step kids also knew sign language since there was a chance one would develop hearing issues later on, so I sat like how would her parents learn to communicate if they could not talk to each other and it became that they would find a way in a form of sign language and charades in this fantasy world….

Renee fact 3: which brings me in part of Renee fact 3 since his and technically Reign’s name also tie in with Rashka’s fact 3. Language barriers do cause a snafu in understanding how syllables and pronunciation works. And when writing Rashka’s mom’s first meeting of Seung he embarasses her much like Moses did Zipporah in Prince of Egypt (though Seung’s was more making fun of the way that she acted and spoke because of a misunderstanding). Well Ivette although forgiving Seung many years later and having Rashka named her such in a way that it would be hard to pronounce her name to the northern empire in their language around fangs. That was Ivette’s payback to embarrass him. And like mother to daughter Rashka did the same when angry with her father when naming Reign and then when having her final kid he did something stupid again and although much better with pronunciation she named Renee his name because it was still a hindrance along with confusing that Rashka, Reign, Renee, (and at the time having a character named Roaan). Why R’s though? That is part in of myself because *and sorry for the gross fact* but for someone who has a bunch of R named characters my mouth is weird and produces too much saliva when my tongue is held a certain way R’s being one of them when there’s an R followed by a vowel my mouth starts producing more saliva. So I thought hmm what if I had characters with that hindrance.

Reign fact 4: She is left handed like her father. And can play many instruments— I am not and can not play anything but the clarinet. But I was amazed that one of my brothers taught himself to play the piano and violin. I made it an Ananulli thing and had Rashka teach her kids like her father taught her. She is also the one the grandparents taught the most of their Fae/Vampire cultures to.

Rashka fact 4: She loves to bake, mainly pies, and even if in a modern day of her being some rich bitch she’d still want to own a pie shop. Her favorites to make are: Blackberry maple bacon pie (Reign’s favorite), Tomato persimmon pie (Brahm, Seung, and Matheson’s favorite), a strawberry cucumber one that she makes for a few pregnant characters, and then one that she makes for herself and her pet griever which is a twist on a cherry danish.

Renee fact 4: Renee is the only one of the four born from Rashka and Brahm, and even if Reign and Sonya have green eyes, Renee’s is the only one with horns and blue hair from their paternal grandparents. All the while he looks like a darker skinned version of their maternal grandfather Seung, same face syndrome struck that boy. And while not getting his mother’ mind reading like Reign and Sonya he did get the slight shapeshifting and mainly used it to get rid of his horns and the blue hair feeling much like an outsider of his own siblings. Only growing into it when his adopted sister Caro later expressed her feelings of having a family she doesn’t look like.

And the finishing line let's see if anything more interesting comes up:

Reign fact 5: Reign only gets discovered and banished after taking the fall after changing a young woman named Nicolette into a vampire as made vampires have a high chance of becoming a griever. This is the only person Reign has made into a vampire and until she makes her acolytes after taking on the role of the goddess of death the first person Reign technically brings back to life and the first of seven that are tied to her, since made vampires have a bond with their sire. (joking Renee brings her back but only him and Reign know that for a while and it’s why Renee feels so guilty and needs to find Reign)

Rashka fact 5: She is the daughter of Ivette who is the daughter of a god, technically while Ivette should’ve been a demi-god and Rashka a quarter god Rashka is half god since Ivette is a full god thanks to the weird bloodline coming from IVette’s grandmother being a human turned into a god. She has a draw to gardening outside of baking which is because before her grandmother was captured she had more spring like qualities like her own mother. But since her grandmother was captured her powers in rage became more bitter and cold. So Rashka’s powers that aren’t part of her being death’s vessel are more ice like but she has never killed a plant in her garden.

Renee fact 5: He is the only sibling that does not share qualities with the god he’s supposed to be a vessel for. As the children are supposed to be the vessels for Death, War, Conquest/Pestilence, and Famine. Renee shows no traits of famine— which is noted by Rashka in his childhood and her hope that maybe she’s reading too much into this “curse”. Though it’s overlooked because Sonya is sick a lot later into childhood that Reign was the only child wanted by the thing that made the gods. The fear causes a sort of eating disorder with feeding and blood in Renee that he hides it from his parents and it then causes him to nearly turn feral and kill a young woman named Nicolette.