#first read either Doctor Who or Ashes to Ashes

[partywithponies]

Fanfic writers reblog this and say in the tags which fandom you first read fic for, and which h you first wrote for.

[cerastes]

What's your take on MumuDoc in Lonetrail?

Muelsyse in Lone Trail felt, in many ways, like seeing someone diving in a pool, and at first, you're not alarmed. They know how to swim. You don't really think much of it. But then a minute passes, and they are still underwater. Concern sinks in, and you make your way to the pool, and as you're about to jump in, their head surfaces, they are back up. They cough, they tough it out, and are a bit nervous about diving again, but you're going in the pool with them now, and they feel more at ease.

Take this, intensify it a hundredfold, stretch it a hundredfold, and scrutinize it a hundredfold, and you end up with Muelsyse, in her barest form, like a diamond born from a chunk of charcoal that had too much pressure put on it.

I can see Muelsyse's dynamic with Doctor being romantic. I can see Muelsyse's dynamic with Doctor not being romantic. Both are fine interpretations, if you ask me, I mean, her theme song is very much a love song, and at the same time, she feels desperate to find anyone who can just... Empathize in even the slightest of ways to her. Either read is fine, outright discounting either feels a tad disingenuous.

Alienation. Complete and utter alienation, an edge sharper and more injurious than isolation. This is, if you ask me, the main theme surrounding the Rhine Lab arc and cast.

Saria is alienated. She cannot find common ground with anyone else around her for the longest time. She used to have a shared dream with Kristen, but that bridge has burned and frozen and turned to ash all over. Kristen is alienated. She simply cannot see a point to anything except that obsessive doggedly persistent dream of hers, and it has been weighted more important than her humanity. Joyce is alienated. Forever a partial prisoner in her own head, there are few and far between that will ever put up with the unique intricacies of having to deal with someone that talks like her, has sudden Oripathy attacks like her, and falls asleep on the spot seemingly at random like her, fully cognizant of how high maintenance she can be on others. Ho'olheyak is alienated. On borrowed time, without kin or friend to call her own, living for a transcending mission far bigger than her and so, so small in the overarching beats of a world that can't be bothered to stop for her. Silence. Ifrit. Dorothy. Tin Man. I could go on. Alienated, all of them. Not isolated, because isolation would imply the lack of physical company. This is far colder, far darker. It's alienation. It's seeing the other side of the cliff, and no possibility of a bridge to connect it to your end of the cliff. Isolation stings, it's a pain you know is there. Alienation drowns, because you can see the surface, but you are convinced you'll never make it there, and it's a hundredfold worse.

Muelsyse is no different. Muelsyse is alienated, and goodness she has tried and tried and tried, she swims so, so hard to reach the surface, but she can't reach it. Being in Rhine Labs necessarily means you need to resort to some cutthroat cloak and dagger, it becomes routine, all for an ultimate goal, but is that ultimate goal even possible? With every step taken by Muelsyse, it seems two new steps materialized at the end of the staircase. Everyone she's met, for years now, has either been someone looking to use her, or someone she can use for her own advantage. Usually simultaneously. And it's in this context, when the 9 to 5 becomes tricking, blackmailing, snuffing and silencing that by chance, she comes across someone, possibly the sole person, that can actually understand the sheer weight on her shoulders: Doctor, someone who doesn't own their own past, but is shackled by it, someone who has no one to relate to, someone surrounded by sufficiently similar but ultimately infinitely different people to themselves, someone who by all means should be drowning in the same pool as her, but somehow, this person reached the surface. It's very easy to see why she'd become so utterly fascinated by this person, who shares many similarities with her, and yet, who seemingly has it so good, has it so sweet. It could have easily been jealousy, but end of the day, Muelsyse IS a sweet person. Yeah, she plays it up, always so cheerful and whimsical, but end of the day, Muelsyse is playing up something that is already there in the first place. Instead of jealousy, it brought her happiness, because maybe, just maybe, she could enjoy a bit of that je ne sais quoi that Doctor seems to have in spades and she is completely bankrupt of.

The first interactions between Muelsyse and Doctor are telling of this overwhelming rush of emotion: Muelsyse less talks with Doctor and more talks at them. She vomits words, emotion, whimsy, as if trying to put these emotions into words and actions after so long, emotions that was ready to never need to put into words in the first place. It eventually becomes a dialogue between two parties, but Muelsyse's interactions with Doctor are initially extremely one-sided, and they remain one-sided to some degree even moving forward. It was heartwrenching to me, honestly, to see the sheer joy Muelsyse radiated while around Doctor, because that is an almost manic amount of joy simply from possibly finding someone that gets it. Muelsyse has not had a bridge in so, so long, and suddenly, the finds someone that not only resembles her a lot, but also seems to have bridges in spades. Muelsyse and Doctor's dynamic should never be considered in a vacuum just between the two of them: One of the first things Muelsyse saw with her own eyes was that Doctor had a pretty friendly relationship, mutual respect included, with Saria. That, is immediately very telling of Doctor, given that Muelsyse understands exactly how difficult that is. We also know Muelsyse sneaks around Rhodes Island and chats with Ifrit now and then, and Ifrit also expressly has a very high opinion of Doctor. It simply makes sense that Muelsyse would feel as enthusiastic about her Dorothy's Vision brush with Doc, and all that Lone Trail entailed: It's terribly sad, because they don't even know each other, and even then, it's the shiniest ray of hope for herself that Muelsyse has had the chance to bask in: Doctor's essence, Doctor's existence, in and of itself, is a massive beacon of hope for Muelsyse.

And it's so damn sad, that this perfect stranger is the most familiar comrade she'll ever find.

Is this romantic love? Hell, the molotov cocktail of emotions involved might as well be, either now or in potentially in the future. Is it something unhealthily dependent? Yeah... Yeah. It might just be the euphoria of knowing that she can reach the surface, after all, that bridges, too, are possible for her to have, with not underlying motive, with no ulterior motive, without needing to offer something or to extract something. To put in the most basic of terms, Doctor, to Muelsyse, might as well represent the very first person in who knows how long that she can relate to at all. It is an immensely sad emotional starvation, and she finally found something to sink her teeth onto.

This is personal, but the way Muelsyse struck me, it felt to me that when she had even the barest of handles on Doctor, she related to someone for the first time in forever, and it shook her to her very core. It may have been the first time she saw, in someone else, a potentially happy Muelsyse.

It's extremely bittersweet. If you've ever dealt with alienation, think back on the first time you found someone who truly "got you". Add to that the fact that her routine of interacting with people had become to see others as tools, and to always be on the lookout for those wishing to use and expend you as a tool. Then, add to that that there are definitely more Elves, but Muelsyse is so fundamentally different to them that the sheer differences in temperament and culture make it so it's impossible for her to relate to them anyway. What could be lonelier than that? It's called Lone Trail for a reason, because alienation is a main theme for all of these people.

In finding the sole person that could possibly relate to her in circumstance and temperament, it's easy to see where Muelsyse's interest in Doctor comes from. Whether you interpret it as romantic or otherwise, it can't be denied that this immensely strong interest exists. It comes from finally seeing a way to reach the surface after the world told her for decades that she simply could only drown. Because Doctor is the only other person that could understand her in being the last of their race and in having no past and maybe even no future, and yet, Doctor having so many bridges, while she has none. I think Muelsyse craves companionship, not necessarily romantic, from Doctor, and, this is important, also wants to have what they have, and be part of it, of so many bridges built without ulterior motives.

[lunarflux]

x: Thomas Shelby found his match in an information bookie who has eluded the grasp of the Peaky Blinders long enough to crumble their power over Birmingham. But at last, he found you. The ghost he'd been chasing was finally in front of him, but you were trickier than he expected. Dangerous, cunning - and a bit too much like himself. To buy your loyalty, he would have to sell his in equal measure. Loyalty for loyalty - blood for blood - how much were either of you willing to spill before the game changed entirely?

part 20: the bitter(sweet) truth

word count: 2,137

tag: @bruhidkjustwannaread | @rubyxx16 | @bellabarnes1378 | @johnmurphys-sass

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The betting shop was quiet, the usual bustle replaced by the low hum of tension that hung thick in the air. Tommy stood by the window, cigarette in hand, watching the gray Birmingham streets below.

Ever since you threatened Kennedy, Bingham's efforts had dimmed. At first, Tommy thought it was suspicious, but then he realized that your mentor played the game this way. He followed the rules, and it was only in the gray area in between where he pushed the boundaries. It would have been an admirable trait if it was anyone else.

Your mind shifted back into the place where it had been before Tommy found you. Always at work, always thinking, always strategizing. Every second you had to yourself, you were lost in thought, and Tommy found no way to pull you out of it. Only he and Polly were able to recognize what was happening beneath your firm face of efficiency—you were blocking everything out so you wouldn't feel anything. Working was your version of cocaine, the only thing that kept your mind from slipping back into that dark place that Tommy knew so well. He needed to find a way to snap you out of it, to bring you back as far as you were capable of going.

The door creaked open, and Arthur stepped in, already pulling a flask from his coat pocket.

“Are we starting early, or is this serious?” Arthur asked, leaning against the doorframe.

Tommy turned, flicking ash into a tray. “Ezra,” he said simply.

Arthur froze mid-swig, lowering the flask. He didn’t need more context. “What about him?” he asked carefully.

Tommy took a drag from his cigarette, exhaling slowly. “We need to settle something.”

Arthur frowned, swirling the liquid in his flask. “You want the truth, don't you? And you think digging into that’s gonna fix her?”

“I think she deserves to know the truth."

Arthur exhaled sharply. “And you’re sending me to London to find it.”

Tommy smirked faintly. “That’s right.”

Arthur sighed, his shoulders slumping. “Bloody hell. Fine. What am I looking for?”

“Ezra was taken to the hospital after she found him,” Tommy said, sliding a scrap of paper with an address across the desk. “Find the doctor. See what he knows.”

Arthur pocketed the paper, his flask still in hand. “And what if I find something she don’t want to hear?”

Tommy’s gaze hardened. “Then we deal with it. Like we always do.”

Arthur looked down to the floor with a soft grimace. “Does she know you’re sending me?”

“She doesn’t need to know yet. If this leads to nothing, we leave it buried. But if it doesn’t…”

Arthur sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “Fine. I’ll go. But you better hope there’s something worth finding.”

“There’s something else, Arthur.”

The eldest Shelby hesitated in anticipation as Tommy gave him a second scrap of paper, the name more unfamiliar than the last.

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London was suffocating in its own chaos, a sharp contrast to Birmingham’s rough edges. Arthur’s coat flapped against the cold wind as he approached the modest townhouse on the west side of town. The address matched, and the brass plaque on the door read Dr. James Selwyn.

Arthur knocked, his patience already wearing thin. It wasn’t long before the door creaked open to reveal a man in his late fifties, his spectacles perched precariously on his nose.

“Dr. Selwyn?” Arthur asked gruffly.

The doctor adjusted his glasses, his brow furrowing. “Yes? And you are?”

“Arthur Shelby,” he said, pushing past him into the house. “We need to talk.”

The doctor looked alarmed but closed the door behind him, following Arthur into the sitting room.

"Ezra Hargreaves. You treated him the night he died."

“I don’t know what this is about—”

Arthur grabbed him by the lapels, firmly squeezing the fabric in between his fingers before forcing a smile across his face. “Listen. I'm here on a bloody day job, so do not waste my time. Tell me about Ezra, and I'll be on my way, yeah?”

The doctor’s breath hitched, and he raised trembling hands.

Arthur released him, stepping back but keeping his glare fixed.

Dr. Selwyn adjusted his coat, his voice shaky as he began. “That was years ago... Mr. Hargreaves was brought to me. That much is correct. He was... Weak. He had just experienced a particularly bad seizure. Mr. Shelby, I don't understand—”

Arthur crossed his arms. “Continue.”

“Well, he was only coherent for a moment,” Selwyn said, his words tumbling out. “These things can happen, you know. Sometimes, they get better before they... Well.”

Arthur frowned. “And then what? He just dropped dead? Did he say anything?”

“Actually, yes. He spoke before he passed. It was a bit confusing at the time because his nurse had the same name, but he was adamant he see a woman named y/n. Said it was urgent.”

Arthur’s jaw tightened. “And did someone try to find her?”

“We assumed she'd be there or at least somewhere nearby as I was led to believe she was the one who sent for a doctor. Naturally, we sent some of the family friends who were there to fetch her. From what I understand, she was nowhere to be found. Like she disappeared into thin air. A ghost, maybe.”

Arthur’s eyes darkened, the pieces clicking into place. “Tell me, doc. Did he say anything else?”

Dr. Selwyn hesitated. “He said he needed to say goodbye. It was heartbreaking to be honest with you. He was lucid, but he wasn't really looking at anyone or speaking to any of us directly. He sounded so desperate to see her." His voice softened as he recalled the memory. He placed his hand on his chest, pressing down gently like his heart ached. "I'm afraid the sound of his voice haunts me every now and then. It's always quite somber here when we're unable to bring in loved ones before a patient passes. I do hope, wherever she is, she was able to grieve properly.”

Arthur took a step closer, his voice low and menacing. “Who was the man you sent to find y/n?”

The doctor looked up at Arthur, wincing. “I didn't know him personally, Mr. Shelby. He only said he was a friend of the family, an Alfred Bingham. That’s all I know.”

Arthur turned on his heel, slamming the door behind him as he left.

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Arthur stood on the front steps of the stately house on the edge of London, his hand hovering over the brass knocker. The house was grand, but it felt hollow, the kind of place where grief had left its fingerprints on the walls. He straightened his coat, knocked firmly, and waited.

The door creaked open, revealing a stooped older man with silver hair and weary eyes. There was something about Ezra’s father—his impeccable grooming, the perfectly pressed suit that seemed out of place in his own home, as though he still needed to present himself as a figure of authority. Arthur saw beyond the polished exterior. Frank’s face bore the weight of years spent grieving, the sharpness of his features dulled by regret and time. He regarded Arthur with a mixture of caution and resignation, his gaze lingering on the scar across Arthur’s cheek as if assessing the danger he might bring.

Arthur noticed the slight tremor in Frank’s hand as he gestured him inside, the hesitation in his voice when he asked, “What do you want?”

They sat in the drawing room, a cavernous space filled with dusty heirlooms and fading portraits. The elder man poured himself a drink but didn’t offer one to Arthur, who didn’t mind—his flask was already half-empty.

“I haven’t spoken of Ezra in years,” Frank began, his voice tight. He sat down across from Arthur, but his posture betrayed him—his back straight, hands gripping the armrests as if bracing himself for an impact. “Why now? Why send someone like you to dredge it all up again?”

Arthur didn’t miss the thinly veiled disdain in the words. “I’m here because of y/n,” he said, watching closely for a reaction.

Frank’s face hardened instantly, his grip on the chair tightening. “y/n,” he repeated, the name heavy with bitterness. “That woman has no right to stir up the past. To speak of my son to strangers—it is a most ardent betrayal to his memory.”

Arthur leaned forward slightly, resting his elbows on his knees. “That woman,” he said, his voice deliberately slow, “has spent years believing she’s to blame for your son’s death. And I want to know why.”

Frank’s mouth opened, then closed again, his jaw working as if chewing on the words he didn’t want to say. His eyes darted to the glass in his hand, and Arthur caught the faintest flicker of shame in his expression.

"I will tell you why, Mr. Shelby, but first, I must know why this is a concern to the Peaky Blinders. Your reputation circles even here in London."

"Call it a personal interest of ours."

"How personal?"

"Best to explain that once I get what I'm here for."

“When Ezra died, y/n was dismissed,” Frank said finally, his tone colder now, as though rehearsing an old script. “She had no place here anymore.”

“And why’s that?” Arthur pressed, narrowing his eyes.

Frank looked up sharply, but his defiance was brittle. “Word travels fast here, Mr. Shelby,” he admitted. “It was brought to my attention by a trusted advisor that y/n had been pushing my son too hard to leave the family business, that she’d driven him to exhaustion with her endless demands. She was to blame for the severity of his last seizure.”

Arthur snorted, a harsh, humorless sound. “Let me guess. Your advisor was Alfred Bingham.”

“Alfred was a friend,” Frank said defensively, though his voice cracked under the weight of his own words. “Gave me financial and business advice for years, and without him, I would have not built this empire that was supposed to go to Ezra after my death. He wouldn’t have lied about something like that. I trusted him.”

“Business matters are not personal matters, Mr. Hargreaves,” Arthur shot back, his tone sharper. “y/n has no taste for anyone that would make her do something like that.”

Frank’s face flushed, his eyes narrowing. “You think you understand? You think you know what it’s like to bury a child? To have to see the woman who caused him so much pain until the very end?”

Arthur’s voice softened, but his words cut deeper. “No, I don’t. But I know what it’s like to live with regret.” He paused, letting the words sink in. “What Bingham told you—it wasn’t the truth, and the consequences of that lie lives on.”

For the first time, Frank’s composure cracked. His hands trembled as he set the glass down, his gaze dropping to the floor.

Arthur leaned back in his chair, his sharp eyes never leaving Frank’s face. “Your son didn’t die because of y/n,” he said. “And even if he didn't agree with her choices, he never held it against her. The doctor told me himself. In his last moments, your son asked for her and no one else. Not out of anger, but out of love.”

Frank flinched as if struck, his breath hitching. “He… he called for her?”

Arthur nodded. “Because he loved her. Even at the end, she was the one on his mind. Not the business. Not you. Her.”

Frank’s shoulders slumped, the weight of Arthur’s words finally breaking him. He looked older now, as if the years of grief had suddenly caught up with him. “I told her to leave,” he whispered, his voice trembling. “I knew that if she'd stayed, I would never get passed losing him. She didn't even fight back. She just... left. I took that as her admission of guilt.”

Arthur stood, his presence towering over the frail man before him. “She left because she thought you were right. y/n isn't someone who would argue against the truth.” He paused, his voice dropping lower. “And now, I have it.”

Frank looked up at Arthur, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. “Tell me earnestly, Mr. Shelby. Is she alright?”

Arthur considered the question for a moment. “That’s not for me to say. But she is alive. And she's under the protection of the Peaky Blinders.”

With that, Arthur turned and left, the sound of his boots echoing in the silent house. As he stepped outside, he lit a cigarette, taking a long drag as he processed the encounter. Frank Hargreaves might never find redemption in your eyes, but Arthur had done what he came to do. He’d uncovered the truth. Now, it was up to you to decide what to do with it.

[maleyanderecafe]

Hi! I love your blog and reading your game recommendations (really grateful to find some hidden treasure!!!) so I want to send you a recommendation as well! Recently the demo for the game "Snow White Ashes" by endysis has been updated, and though yandere elements are so far, quite subtle, the hints are there (esp in bonus scenes). Not to mention the stunning artworks, the original soundtracks, and the lovely writing weaving one gothic horror fairytale-like story. I'd love for you to enjoy it and share with us your analysis of the game! Have a good day and once again thank you for all of your recommendations!

This game really does embody a tragic fairy tale (which, originally a lot of fairy tales were like this) inside of a visual novel. The artwork is beautiful, the story is sad and the soundtrack is very nice to listen to. The yandere actions in this game aren't as prominent on Gabriel's side (and in fact are a bit more so on the female lead's side). There are about three routes that can go about that also unlock three different extra scenes. If you are interested, you can find more at @endys.

The story starts out with a woman walking in the cold forest. She seems to be out luring someone to her to kill them, as evidenced by the knife in her pocket. She decides to either draw blood or sing to lure them out, both of which brings out a man dressed in white to come to her aid. Seeing that the woman is cold, he offers to let her stay at his place as the nearest town is too far away. She graciously accepts his help and she brings her into a cabin in the woods. As they walk, they ask for each others names. The MC's name is Michelle and the man introduces himself as Gabriel. She seems to want to expose Gabriel for the monster he is, though so far he doesn't seem to be at all. The two converse, talking about the Mist Queen, a mystic person who seems to be someone inhumane terrorizing the town. While talking she mentions a family that she was accepted into, though now it no longer is something that exists. We learn that while he is a hunter now, he used to be a doctor and was married happily for a long while until the plague happened or we learn about how he and his wife met, with him tending to her wounds after she fell. Michelle then talks about either her fondness of singing or her fondness of sewing. They end up getting to the cottage after they hear some wolves.

Upon going to the cottage, the two are about to make out when Gabriel ends up pulling out the weapon from Michelle's clothes. He seems to know that she's lying to him about her name and identity. She cannot lie to him and reveals that she is indeed the Mist Queen, aka, Gabriel's former wife. She bites back at him, asking why he was bringing back girls to his cottage, where he retorts that he knew who she was the entire time. Gabriel retorts that she has taken a new body accusing her of murdering a young girl, when Michelle reveals that she only took the body of a girl who was already dead. She continues stating that the girl (and many others) have been found dead, likely because of one of their kind, accusing him of killing them. Gabriel tells her, (Selene is her true name) that he wouldn't do that and that he's been loyal to her for centuries, also revealing that she was the one who made him immortal like her. Gabriel leaves to see if what Selene said is true, which leaves her alone in the cabin. She can either decide to stay or leave, and if she stays, she has the chance to destroy his lyre, which if she does, will cause her to feel immense regret afterwards. Even if she leaves, she will end up being saved by Gabriel after she is almost attacked by wolves. After looking around, she ends up finally resting, which leads to a dream about her past.

She first has nightmare about the two girl's skin that she stole, Myia, and the one where she first met Gabriel and the one she is wearing now, Calliope. We see a flashback of when she first met Gabriel. Having gotten a new body by chance, instead of eating it, she decides to pretend to be her and live in the village. She later attempts to hunt for food, but ends up getting hurt, causing the person she was hunting, Gabriel to help her. Although she is pretty annoyed at his help, she ends up accepting it nevertheless, with Gabriel even carrying her back to the village. As time goes on, the two of them grow fonder of each other, until Gabriel ends up proposing to her. Initially she refuses, afraid that he will eventually find out who she is and will eventually outlive him. However, despite all of this, knowing that she is not actually the girl whos skin she wears, she ends up accepting and living with him as his wife in the village. Later on, Gabriel ends up losing one of his patients during childbirth and the two end up adopting her surviving son. Selene ends up making a doll for her new adopted son, with Gabriel impressed by her needlework. As time goes by and Gabriel ages, Selene's body does not, causing rumors to spread across her village. This leads to a fight with her and Gabriel as she feels incredible guilt that he will eventually die leaving her behind while she lives as essentially a zombie. As they resolve the fight, Gabriel promises to never leave her side until his death. A few years later, a plague starts to form in town. Gabriel tries to make Selene and their son leave so they won't get infected, while he wants to stay behind and do his job as a doctor. However, as she wants to be by his side, she sends her son off to safety while she stays behind with her husband. As time goes by, Gabriel gets sicker and sicker, even losing his arm, having Selene chop it off for him. Slowly he begins to die, and Selene's body also starts to deteriorate, and to keep him alive, Selene finds dead bodies and sews parts of them back onto Gabriel as his body decays. After this, she ends up giving some of her blood to him, causing him to live again. Gabriel initially doesn't recognize her as she's had to change bodies, but also is equally as frightened by his new body. Then afterwards the two live together for a bit before separating for thirty years. After the two of them wander in isolation, Gabriel returns to Selene, devoting himself to her as he cannot bear the isolation any longer, only asking for her to kill him if he goes mad for blood.

Upon waking up, she seems worried that she might have to kill him to keep the promise she made to him. She finds that Gabriel had returned, even making her food in return. Gabriel tells her that he indeed saw the things that she spoke of, and we see that he even kept one of the pieces of clothes she made him. After being fed (or not) the soup that he made. The two argue for a bit about the entire seducing thing in the beginning, with Gabriel being hesitant because she's not in the original body where they first met. They hear a knock at the door and upon opening it, see the body of Myia talking to Gabriel about how he missed her and how she missed him.

There are three extra scenes. I'll go from the first one Lullaby to the last one, Monsters. These are all from Gabriel's point of view, likely something that happens while she sleeps.

In Lullaby, we see that he is surprised to see her wear another skin. He seems to have a bit of body dysmorphia, not even recognizing his new hand despite everything, thus wearing the gloves he always does. He seems to have a lot of self loathing and ends up humming a lullaby to her at the end.

In Suffering, Gabriel wonders about how his wife is feeling, desperately wanting to touch her face but not allowing himself to. He doesn't want leave her side or have anyone take his place. It seems he believes he has to stay by her side no matter what, and that he needs her more than anything. This is probably the extra that encapsulates his more yandere nature in a more clingy manner.

In Monster, Gabriel seems to find it weird that his wife was able to live like this for so long. He is especially angry in this one, wondering if she knows how easy it would be for him to kill her as she sleeps. This extra is the one that is the most possessive.

The story itself is rather melancholy in tone, much like the original Grimms Fairy Tales, with a lot of inspiration seemingly being taken from things like Snow White and the Ice Queen, which you can kind of tell from the title. The artwork is extremely beautiful with moving parts of the backgrounds like leaves and snow, and there is a feeling of bitterness between Selene and Gabriel despite the love they clearly have for each other. The work is written in a more fanciful tone, and has a lot of mourning on Selene's part as she is essentially an immortal zombie/vampire- never really truly quite human and never really comfortable in the skin she's in (quite literally). The music is lovely too, very quiet but impactful which really gives the whole vibe of the game being a more sad retelling of a story.

Both Gabriel and Selene have a sort of attachment with each other and both of them are obsessed/possessive with each other. On Selene's part, while she did try to break away from Gabriel when they first met, she wasn't able to, and when she did get the happy life as a human, she very desperately didn't want to let go of it, claiming Gabriel and their adopted son as hers. In the backstory especially we do see that she internally is very possessive over Gabriel, considering this is the first time she's properly fallen in love with someone and is fully aware that she can't live this life forever. We also see this in the current time with Selene accusing Gabriel of luring other women into his cottage, even though he knew it was her in the first place. Despite this though, we can see where this idea comes from, as Selene is always pretending to be someone else as she's always in someone else's skin, and immortal, meaning that she can never fully enjoy a human life as herself. She knows that Gabriel will likely die one day and she fears being alone again, and losing the person she loves. On both sides there is a strong attachment with each other. Gabriel, even before turned in the creature that Selene was already devoting his life to be with her, loyal to the very end of his life. And even after when Selene turns him, he returns after many years to devote himself once again, wanting to stay by her side forever, much like the knight like family he was raised in. We see this more in the extra stories where we see Gabriel's point of view, seeing that he's obsessed with being with her because he has nothing else and that she is his, though we also see that it is part of a mix of other emotions such as his fear of being lonely and his feelings of dysmorphia due to the body parts stitched onto him. He still maintains his strong loyalty to Selene, but it is also filled with anger as she turned him against his will, even if it was in an attempt to save his life from disease.

I'm not really sure who this new person that comes in at the end is. She very clearly is using the body of when Selene and Gabriel first met and knows about their relationship. It is very likely another one of their species, though why she seems to specifically be targeting these two is still a mystery. We're also not sure who or what is causing the death of the many maidens, so it could actually be her depending on how long this story is. It's a good mystery and cliffhanger that invests you in wanting more.

But overall, a pretty beautiful game. The yandere moments are definitely much more muted and I'd even argue that currently Selene has more yandere moments than Gabriel mostly due to her feelings in the past, but it is nice to see a couple that is loyal to each other, even if they have bitter feelings towards each other. A complicated thing. If you are interested, please try it out.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Do you have a list of Lestrade POV or Mycroft POV fics? I love reading what others think about these two idiots in love.

Hi Lovely!!

AHHH Okay I DIDN'T have a specific list, so I've gone through my bookmarks I've tagged as such with either POV, but I KNOW I've missed a lot of fics... I needed a list for this weekend so... VOILA! Sorry it's so rushed, and I will forewarn many of the links are from FFNet 💜🖤

If ANYONE has a Johnlock fic that that they would love to add to the list that I obviously missed, please do add them below!!!! I would greatly appreciate it!

MYCROFT or LESTRADE POV JOHNLOCK

See also: Mystrade Fics (MFLs)

The Most Awful Thing by whitchry9 (K+, 1,072 w., Ch 1 || Hurt/Comfort, Holmes Brothers, Seizures) – When Mycroft witnesses Sherlock having a seizure, he is at a complete loss as to what he should do. Thankfully, John is there.

Yorkshire Gold by Tammany Tiger (K, 1,467 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Holmes Brothers, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Angst, Open Ending, Grief, Implied Bondlock) – Mycroft may not mourn Sherlock's death-but even if he knows his brother lives, he's not without his own grief. It ain't easy being The British Government. But at least he's got good help. Set between the Fall and the Return.

It Was All Right There In Front of Him (A Five Times Plus One Story) by bees_stories (T, 3,191 w., 1 Ch. || 5+1, Protective Idiots, Grooming, Bed Sharing, Lestrade POV) – DI Greg Lestrade is a good detective. But sometimes he doesn’t trust the evidence in front of him, until there’s a compelling reason to do so.

The Warehouse Chat by AllesandraQuartermaine (K, 3,611 w., 1 Ch. || Meddling Mycroft, Canon-Compliant, Drama / Family) – When Mycroft Holmes learns about the presence of John Watson in his brother's life, he does what any brother who worries would do. He learns what he can and then abducts Doctor John Watson for a chat in a warehouse. Set in A Study In Pink.

This is my friend, John Watson by aaronisgay (T, 3,691 w., 5 Ch. || Established Relationship, Secret Relationship, Yard Finds Out) – Lestrade has known Sherlock for over three years, yet in that time barely learned anything about the man. Then one day, Sherlock walks onto the crime scene with a short army doctor in tow. As time goes on, Lestrade wonders why neither of them ever go on dates...could this mean something? Otherwise where Sherlock is married and the Yard doesn't even notice.

When Your Belly's in the Trench by Morgan_Stuart (T, 4,743 w., 1 Ch. || PTSD, Character Study, Rescue, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Torture, Trauma, Danger, Drama, Kidnapping/Captivity) – The next time that door opens, John Watson will kill the person on the other side.

Study in Mycroft by chappysmom (K+, 4,929 w., 1 Ch. || Character Study, Big Brother Mycroft, Mycroft POV, Nosy Mycroft, Holmes Brothers) – A look at Mycroft's thoughts and actions during a Study in Pink.

The Refining Fire by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 5,451 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG AU, Angst, Friendship, Alternating POV (Lestrade, Mycroft, Sherlock), Worried Sherlock, Hospital Recovery) – Fire can burn things to ashes, but it can also burn things together.

Our Sudden and Strange Return by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 10,314 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, Friendship) – One year, eight months, and an odd number of days after the alleged fatal fall Mycroft gets a message from Sherlock saying that he's back.

Sympathy for the Devil and Mycroft Holmes by scifigrl47 (T, 18,535 w., 2 Ch. || Family, Canon-Compliant, Meddling Mycroft, Big Brother Mycroft) – Mycroft has always protected his younger brother, but there are some things he just can't control. Sherlock's relationship with John Watson is one of them. Set during the first two seasons of Sherlock.

Jack In The Box by Liketheriver (T, 30,785 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Case Fic, H/C, Lestrade First POV) – John's been kidnapped, Mycroft has rules, and Lestrade has to do his best to keep up with Sherlock as they deal with a returning foe. Lestrade POV as he and Sherlock work to find John, even though that's the last thing John seems to want. Part 2 of Bedtime Universe

[cuteniarose]

A conversation I had with my sister this evening, transcribed from memory:

Vi: So Giovanni doesn't feel too strongly about gay people either way EXCEPT when it comes to either Jessie, James and Meowth, or his son, then he quickly becomes homophobic

Me: ...His son?

Vi: Silver?

Me: Who?

Vi: Silver? The Gen 2 rival?

Me: First time I'm hearing of him. All I know about Giovanni's family is that silly theory that he's Ash's father

Vi: HOW do you NOT KNOW Silver??

Me: Do you really think I'm so well versed in Pokemon lore that I'm aware of ANYTHING going on in Gen 2???

Vi: I infodump about Pokemon all the time to you!!

Me: Yeah, but NEVER about Gen 2!!! And come on, cut me some slack, it's not like you know anything about stuff I'm obsessed with

Vi: You mean the mess you made of LoK canon? I know enough about that!!

Me: Like what?

Vi: ......Is Ming-Hua still a swampbender in your AU or did that get retconned?

Me: She is

Vi: Okay good, so that, and uhhhhhhh..... Suiren and Midori are sisters and Mingzan's kids, Suiren has a thing with Kuvira, and......

Me, after some silence: Is that it?

Vi: Well it's not like there's a wiki detailing all the intricacies of your multiverse!!

Me: I did make a masterpost on tumblr about it

Vi: Seriously?

Me: Yeah, because Sydney was interested

Vi: ...Who's Sydney? I know that's not the name of your doctor friend

Me: And what's the name of my doctor friend?

Vi: Kat

Me: Oh, you actually remember

Vi: So she didn't have some kind of realization and decide to change her name?

Me: No, Sydney and I met not too long ago, she's obsessed with Wan, Raava and Vaatu–

Vi: Why do you always find friends with the nichest interests imaginable??

Me: It's a gift. Anyway, she was interested in my multiverse and I got invested in the modern AU she returned to recently after like, ten years. She even let me insert a few OCs into it!

Vi: .....Are Raava and Vaatu still giant spirit kites in the modern AU, or are they human?

Me: They're human

Vi: OH THANK GOD I was scared there'd be some kind of Lovecraftian eldritch horror thing involved. I'm struggling to imagine them as humans though

Me: Well, Raava is a perfect student and piano prodigy who started rebelling in her teens, and Vaatu is her childhood frenemy who's an overdramatic theatre kid Light Yagami kinnie. And all of them smoke weed

Vi, with a half confused, half outraged stare: ....what?

Me: An american thing, apparently? Sydney's from Ohio, they told me that pretty much everyone they know has smoked weed and done at least one other kind of drug before. They even offered to help out if I ever need to write characters using drugs or whatever

Vi, looking absolutely flabbergasted at this point: Ooooo...kayyyy, then..... and here I thought the spirit kites smoke weed because then you can make a pun that they're high as a kite

Me: ...That's dumb

Vi: And everyone smoking weed isn't?

Me: Not everyone! Suiren doesn't smoke weed!!

Vi: Whatever. And now I'm picturing them smoking in their kite forms. They can stick the blunt into that rhombic shape with the dot they have on their fronts

Me: THOSE ARE THEIR EYES

Vi: WELL HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT? And I'm pretty sure that's something you lot made up and not canon. Besides, I just finished reading The Kite Runner for school, I definitely know more about kites than you do

Me: Can we drop the high kites topic now?

Vi: K, sure. So, you have a new friend who used an unspecified number of drugs in the past. Great company you're keeping

Me: ....She also showed me her tits once

Vi, going all red in the face: SHE WHAT?????

Me: NOT LIKE THAT. SHE'S A PHOTOGRAPHER AND IT WAS ARTISTIC NUDITY

Vi: You know what? None of my business. Go indulge in your weird modern AU where the spirit kites are human and everyone smokes weed except for Suiren– hey, how does Suiren fit into this?

Me: You know how I said Vaatu is a Light Yagami kinnie? He's convinced that Wan is the L to his Light, his arch nemesis, all that. He quotes Light's monologues all the time and Suiren is his Ryuk. She watches him behaving like a freak, munches on some snack in the corner and enables him because it's fun

Vi: Ah, so she's the kind of friend who's only a friend on the surface and will bail as soon as shit starts going down? I mean, Light asked Ryuk for help exactly once and Ryuk straight up killed him

Me: No, she's actually a pretty good friend, at least when it came to letting Vaatu borrow a skirt and lipstick when he realises he's transfem

Vi: ...YOU MADE THE EVIL CHAOS SPIRIT KITE TRANSFEM???

Me: IT WASN'T MY IDEA I'm just going along with it. Turns out he never wanted to date Raava, he wanted to BE Raava. Why, is that a problem?

Vi: No, just... do you realise how nuts that sounds out of context? LoK's Book 2 antagonist has a gender crisis and realises she's transfem and the one who helps her feel gender euphoria is the daughter of LoK's Book 3 antagonists. Does that not sound INSANE to you?

Me: No?

Vi, after a long suffering sigh: And here I thought what you did to LoK couldn't get any worse... [in reference to the modern AU in general, NOT transfem Vaatu]

TL;DR: @rokurookajima somehow became the topic of conversation between my sister and me for a good 10 minutes :P

[spicyicetea]

Forgot once again that I write on here. Oops. I've been working on some of my original yandere stories on and off between reading stuff. Can say that I have tons of inspiration for stuff and my blog may be blowing up with new content soon.

I deleted the last post about this as I scrapped some of the characters that had gotten a lot of support and wanted to revamp the characters before asking again.

I have the characters I want to use in these stories now and ideas for the plot their stories would take so wanted to provide some propaganda for each of them for people to vote on which I write first.

ALL OF THESE WILL BE FINISHED EVENTUALLY THIS IS JUST HELPING ME DECIDED WHO TO DO FIRST

The propaganda is under the cut, if you're uninterested in reading the premise feel free to just vote but for those who do want more information, read on. Descriptions of yandere behaviour, threats of violence and suggestive material below.

Lucius, the fallen angel (THE INTRO TO HIS STORY IS OFFICALLY UP, TO THOSE WHO WANT HIM GO GET HIM)

Rage, nothing but rage ran through the veins of the holy being, wings crumbling to ash around them. How dare they! How dare his god forsake him like this. He would have preferred to have been cast to the fiery pits like his brothers before him. His soft peach hair curled around his eyes, framing the wild gold. The world stops around him as your hand finds the skin between his shoulder blades. The poor entity that touched him... how their time on this earth was now rapidly depleting. Looking over his shoulder, your eyes met, his scanning the form of the being who dared lay eyes upon him in this moment of weakness.

"Excuse me... can I help you in anyway?"

In your hand was a small box, with a red plus. Having been a guardian angel he recognised it immediately, a first aid kit. You were here to help him? The scrubs covering your body told a story themself. A dedicated doctor that wanted nothing more than to help people, even the crumbling man before you. He saw you, your whole being, mind, body and soul. What a gorgeous soul... he has found his new deity. The entity he will worship to the ends of the earth, his god/goddess that he will bring forth the end of the heavens above for, no matter the cost to himself or humanity.

Edit: felt bad about Lucius’ being so short so I “finished” an old sketch of him.

I don’t like sharing my art but here (don’t remember the reference I used the sketch was quite old)

Roger, the Pirate

Once flourishing seaside towns, abandoned by the native inhabitants. Sea attacking the waves with a vengeance and an anger that would drive anyone away. Of course she was mad. Her plentiful expanses have been torn by war and now are weaponised with warships and scoundrels. As boats became more prevalent and accessible to the common folk, another threat appeared, pirates. Criminals who rode the waves in their stolen ships, raiding towns and crumbling villages. Anyone with common sense feared them, apart from your stubborn father. Your dear old dad, the soul blacksmith in the beachside village you were raised in, refused to waiver. This was his home, and he'd be damned if some punk would make him leave. The village folk stayed too, they considered him as close to a mayor as the town had. Luckily, not many pirates came to the area, despite the relatively calm waves. Hidden away in rocky coves and connected through wooden bridges, your home was well hidden and your people worshiped the sea. She was their queen, their bountiful provider and valiant protector. Your family held this tradition with a tight fist.

A large bang, rang out as the village shook. Screams... so many shrieks as your family jumped up and rushed to the village centre, your usually soft father brandishing the heirloom sword he had forged to commemorate his marriage to your mother. Pirates had rounded everyone up already, holding them at the tips of their swords, twirling their rudimentary guns as a threat. Your father hesitated, lowering his sword to not anger them, handing it off to his wife should anything go wrong. Each step he took forward was met with steps on the other end, a tall rugged man meeting him at the centre of the village. Long scars littered his body, flicking from the corner of his lips and the bridge of his nose, to the side of his throat and across his knuckles. His hair was a deep chestnut, rough and messy beneath the leather tricorn hat he wore. His eye patch was tucked into the collar of his shirt, wanting to look him eye to eye.

"We're here for your riches, but if you can't provide, I suppose your men can work off your village's debt."

It boiled your blood, how dare they try and hurt these people. These were your people! Your blood may not be royal, but the villagers treated you as such. Thousands of years ago, your family had led them onto the rocky coves to avoid the tyrannical reign of the original village lord. It felt as if your ancestors controlled your limbs as you took the sword from your trembling mother, ignoring the cries of her and your younger siblings. Brandishing the ornate blade with a profound confidence, you pressed it to the invaders chest, teeth grit.

"I am the only trained fighter here, so you either take me or leave empty handed."

He raised his bushy brows, his expression remaining unreadable. The air remained stagnant before he swatted the flat side of the blade, causing you to retract it to your side. He ripped the hat from his head, holding it low to hide... something, whatever it was, as he turned his back, clearing his throat.

"We leave at dusk lass, make us wait and we torch the place."

I apologise for the propaganda being so long but I enjoyed writing these, can you tell I like Roger. Please vote if you're interested in either. I'm going to put together a taglist for these so let me know in the replies if and who's taglist you want to be in. Please clarify which character you want to be tagged in.

[tanis-fics]

Intermission

When Ash Jr. is trapped in a building shift incident and begins to freak out about his imminent death, the person who aids him is the least one he expects. The least helpful, too, but at the end of the day, Ash could really use a break. (A musical break, even)

Pairings: Theodore Ash Jr. & Ahti, Theodore Ash Jr. & Ahti & Oldest House ♦ Words: 1117 ♦ Notes: For the @februaryficletchallenge, prompt Trapped In An Elevator

[on ao3] ♦ [on squidgeworld] ♦ [read on site]

 When Dr. Theodore Ash Jr. first felt the elevator shake under his feet, and then stop menacingly, he immediately assumed he was going to die. Of course he was going to die after making the discovery of a lifetime, the cruel irony of it almost made him crack a smile; the fact that he could at least see the twisted beauty of the Oldest House in all its glory unlike his father before him almost brought him peace of mind, in those grim final moments.

 He took it in stride at first. Face it proudly like the bearer of his name should.

 Seeing the concrete surrounding him ad infinitum outside his fancy metal cage ever so slowly closing in, however, eventually panic began dawning on him.

 He couldn't die. Not now, of all times. He still had so many things to research, so many caves down in the Foundation to find and study. His friends, the Id, he couldn't just leave them all alone while the rest of his team (or, God forbid, Director Northmoor) probed the place without a care in the world.

 Breath began coming shallow as death started breathing on his neck. Trapped like an animal. No. Trapped like so many members of the Bureau by the shifting chimera of the building. Ash had been researching the energy leylines from the pillar, coming up with ways to stabilize it's uneasy entrails to avoid these senseless deaths, but maybe he had been far too late.

 As his windpipe closed in panic, Ash would have wanted to say that he hoped someone else took his investigations and finished his work for the Bureau. But he was just a coward, and his mind screamed for someone, anyone, to realize where he was and came help him.

"...Yksin sankar yöhön syvemmälle matkaa pois,

Se taakka hänen harteillaan kuin lupaus aina ois,"

 Jerking his head up, Ash recognized that faint melody before recognizing the accompanying voice. He couldn't see anything past the concrete, but the song came from a point somewhere above him. Swallowing, his throat hurt horrors, but he still croaked.

 "J, Janitor, is that you?" He cursed at himself for not remembering his name, despite his appreciation to the mysterious man. The singing stopped, and he felt panic rising again. "Are you there? Can you hear me?"

 Silence followed his many questions, until he heard his voice again, closer this time.

 "Doctor?" His thick accent brought a smile to his face, relief washing over him for a second. "Were you running with your head as your third leg, and got stuck in the walls?"

 He had no idea what that meant.

 "More or less, I suppose." He yelled back, voice breaking a bit at the end, and was met with a candid laugh. If it were anyone else, Ash would be enraged and humiliated, but the Fin's idiosyncrasies put his mind at ease, or as much as it could in that situation. The man had a surprisingly vast knowledge of the building, either inherent or learned, and if he could laugh in the jaws of danger maybe it wasn't as bad as he originally thought it was.

 Still, he was no God either.

 "Friend," he tried again, grabbing the metal curtain and facing the darkness from where the voice came from, "there was a shift in the building and I happened to get caught in the middle! I'll need you to call Security to get me out of here."

 "Yes, yes, do not worry, an emergency does not look like this. Ahti will make sure you get out of there, loose like a grandma's tooth." He sounded very sure of himself regardless of the wording, and Ash thanked him for that. Regardless, time started passing, with only the sound of the mop against the floor and the whistling of the man to fill it. Had... had he even called for help? He couldn't help but wonder, anxiously. Did he misjudge the strange man, misjudge Ahti? Or was he testing him? Could that be a test? "Eh. So nosy." The man called again, sounding... annoyed? Offended? "Don't wait as if waiting for the raising moon. You will not die. Not in an elevator, at least."

 Ash froze, but then sighed. Fine. If the Janitor said he wasn't going to die there, he couldn't possibly die there, he guessed, bittersweet.

 The walls stopped closing in, though.

 "That's right, perkele." He heard him say, proudly, yet probably to himself, before stating louder, in a way that seemed less and less like a suggestion. "Take a rest. It will do you good."

 Odd. What an odd fellow.

 Two peas in a pod, he supposed. The Janitor and the House.

 The Janitor and him, too.

 Resting his back on the opposite wall and sliding to the floor, Ash could swear he felt a rumbling on the elevator, and despite every logic and every alarm ringing on his mind he actually felt his fear slowly melting away, as his breath eventually slowed down too. The Fin's words ticked him, but he was tired, he couldn't remember the last time he took a break. The last time he allowed himself to take a break.

 Maybe he was safe. Call it good luck, or affinity, maybe the house wasn't going to swallow him alive. Not that day, at least.

 "Ahti." He called eventually.

 "Yes?"

 "Could I ask one thing of you, at least?" Since you're clearly not calling anyone.

 "What is it?"

 "Could you sing to me that song you're always singing to yourself?" He heard a surprised noise.

 "Sankarin Tango! You like it?"

 "As a matter of fact, I do!" And then, to himself, somewhat feeling like the compliment will reach his ears regardless. "I've always found it quite lovely, actually."

 "Ah..."

 Ahti sounded extremely pleased, speaking to himself in Finnish with an audible smile on his lips, and Ash couldn't help but smile too as the last traces of fear left his mind and body. As music filled the air around him his worry was replaced instead with the low rumbling that now enveloped him, louder. Did it came from the elevator? From the Oldest House itself? Was it, and could even be a reaction, let alone a positive one? Was it a response to Ahti's singing? First drafts of theories rose and fell like his calmed down breathing, like the melody carried by the air, as he waited to be rescued. Or, as it eventually will come to happen, for the walls to open and for him to meet his janitor friend, standing alone on a recently cleaned room.

 For now, Theodore Ash Jr. simply sat there, enjoying the choir in peace.

[lostonehero]

What remains after eternity

I'm not promising anything

Jonny sighed as he stared out at the desert from his window. New Texas was well thriving. He decided that when he woke up from what was supposed to be his final death on his shitty asteroid planet, he decided to make it better. He was pissed and he really just wanted to die. He was promised an ending, but he could also just be the last mech because there was a fluke, and he's just plain immortal, eternally youthful that death and age can't touch.

It's been a few thousand years, but Jonny had singlehandedly fixed New Texas. They opened their borders, trade between other planets, and women were free to be what they please and not slaves. He even set up a government that worked for the people. Overall, he was viewed as some sort of undying saint.

The assassination attempts were uninspired and lacking any kind of fun. They also stopped trying after a few years.

He was tired. He was so tired and just wanted an end. Even this throne room, which was more of a farce than anything, was exhausting.

"Jonny?" A young man approached his throne.

"Yes? If you're here to kill me, take your best shot or whatever." Jonny looked over. "Never mind, it's just you. Oliver, I told you to find something else to do rather than babysit me." After the first 100 or so years, the people of New Texas decided to find a way to keep him company. He's tired of killing them to stay away, and it never lasted long enough to spill more blood.

"I will not!" The boy's tail stood upright. "There's a woman here who requested an audience."

"Name?" Jonny moved to sit upright.

"Doctor Carmillia." Oliver smiles and motions to the taller woman behind him.

Jonny just frowns. "Hello, Carmillia. If you want to experiment, go ahead. I don't care."

Carmillia seems taken aback. "What don't you want to curse me for true immortality? Come now, I'm sure you've figured it out. Your own mechanism is forever, and the longer you have it the more ingrained it gets."

"Ok." Jonny sighs and kicks his feet up. "Is there a point to this? I'm tired, Carmillia. I'm tired, and I don't want to do this anymore. So either do whatever you want or leave."

Carmillia steps back. Jonny seemed absolutely defeated. She had a trump card. This would kick start the chaos again. This would start the nechs back up. "Your mother was the first. She's still around, and I would love for you to watch me get her to fall in love with me."

Jonny shrugs, sliding down in his throne. "So she's alive eternally. I'm sure she has a nice life without me." He frowns. "It's been eons, I'm sure she's moved on from losing me."

"She's been searching for you for those eons!" Carmillia huffs.

"She's better without her fuck up of a son." Jonny's gaze lazily went back to Carmillia. "Are you going to spread a plague? Take me apart? Destroy, what I built? Just do it or leave."

"Jonny, come on, what's the fun in that? Don't you want to cause some mayhem? Violence? Get drunk? I'm in love with your mother, Valerie. Doesn't that mean anything?"

Jonny looks away. "Go ask her out then. You're better than my father." He looks to Oliver. "Go home, kid."

Oliver sighs. "I told you, doctor. Jonny doesn't do anything anymore except keep New Texas safe."

"How long have you been keeping him company?" Carmillia follows the young man out.

"Oh, I just started. My predecessor, the funeral, was last year. Our people have decided to keep Jonny company. Oh, he's told so many stories about his adventures and violence, but I've read all those books and such. I wonder if I'll get to see him like that before I die, it would be a sight. Tell me, do you know the other mechanisms that Jonny has talked about?" Oliver sighs. "Sorry, I'm rambling. It's just all so exciting. I actually live in this place with him."

Carmillia frowns. "I will find them." She turns and leaves the boy.

.......

Ashes, they were the leader of the most profitable empire in the Nexus galaxy. They got bored after ending up back on their planet, realizing that they really couldn't die, and their final death was nothing but a mockery. They grew their empire, trying to just feel something. Even fire got boring, not to say they didn't still love it, but they missed the others.

They did find Ivy after everything, but she didn't really have an interest in leaving her own prison of knowledge. Ashes gives them new books, and they have tea once a decade now. They tried looking for the others, but they weren't in the same galaxy, and they didn't have a ship strong enough to hop galaxies, and Ivy wouldn't help.

"So this is what you've accomplished?" A voice pulls Ashes away from the fireplace.

"Doc?" Ashes turns around to see Carmillia covered in the blood of their guards. "You could have just asked to see me." They sigh. "What do you want? To gloat? To have a part of this empire? I can get you whatever you desire."

"You've conquered a galaxy." Carmillia sounded impressed. "I just wanted to find you."

"You have, so what now?" Ashes returns their gaze back to the fireplace.

"Come with me." Carmillia smiles. "Don't you want to find the others?"

"I suppose." Ashes sighs. "If you can get Ivy from her, self-made prison. Then I will join you." They light up a cigar. "Try to be cautious. Ivy has gone in her head."

.......

A blue skinned woman held a glowing machine in her arms. It was the ai the one she selfishly abandoned because of basically a new coat of paint. She stares at the scrap heap that was once Aurora. From what she was told, the debris was found floating in space, and whatever couldn't be salvaged was dumped here.

Nastya doesn't understand why she was abandoned. She will take her to a new ship and install her and make her even better. She knows she was selfish, she abandoned the others, and now that she knows the truth, she didn't want to be alone for eternity. Even if it takes her millions of years, she'll rebuild Aurora and beg for forgiveness. She has to find the others.

A few hundred years and Aurora was built bigger and better than ever, ready to face eternity looking for her crew. Nastya sighs as she wipes her brow. "Ready to go?"

A soft beep and chirps.

"Right, well, I'll make it up to you, I promise. I won't ever leave again. I heard about DTTM, but that can't possibly be true. I'll find the new guys, too." Nastya smiles. "To eternity and beyond my love."

......

Tim ended back on earth, and he now sits in a nuclear waste. He watched the world implode, now it's post-apocalyptic, and he helped out the surving groups. He was tired. He just wanted to die, but even he grew immune to the radiation. Maybe he was slightly mutated, but that didn't really matter. He became a messenger between new towns and even a city.

The earth was long abandoned by the majority of humanity who went to conquer other planets they didn't destroy. However, what was left behind grew like weeds. Tim watched the earth heal it was still mostly a wasteland, but there was life in the waste. He liked the peace of it.

"Timothy." An elderly woman smiles, hobbling over with her cane. "Are you coming to tell some tales? The cold will come soon."

Tim nods. "Yeah, do you want me to tell about the moon again?"

"The children will love that." The woman chuckles.

"I remember when you were that age, with your eyes bright and you could sit in my lap." Tim smiles. "How time has passed."

"Of course, watcher, and I hope you watch over the youth of tomorrow." The old woman moves forward. "I'm grateful I lived long enough to see these trees you talked about return."

Tim nods and follows behind. "And may the next generations witness the oceans turn blue and flowers bloom."

"You speak of such wonderful things, Watcher. May eternity bless you."

Tim doesn't really do names anymore. All the people he's watched and guided blend together as the earth recovers. Rivers flow mountains grow, and land returns. Civilization grows, and he becomes a myth even though he remains. Maybe he'll remain long enough to see another war or apocalypse. For the moment, it's peaceful as populations grow and seasons change. The changes from the radiation haven't gone away, but he can't seem to mind.

A voice so familair breaks through and Tim watches as the familair man approach. His voice was long gone to being silent for so long. He just smiles at the man.

"Gunpowder Tim." The shorter man tilted his head staring at Tim.

Tim nods, and as he tries to speak, only a rasp escapes his lips.

"It's me, Lyf, the inspector?" Lyf furrows his brows. "My ship malfunctioned, and I honestly don't know when or where I am, Yog Sogoth decided to be a bit extra helpful after that fight during DTTM. Have you seen Marius? Or like everyone else? I'm surprised I found you."

Tim tilted his head, seemingly confused.

Lyf huffs. "Whatever, come on." He grabs Tim's hand and drags him to his ship. "You'll be great leverage when it comes to the others. He doesn't notice the roots grown into Tim's feet or the changes in his body, or even the fact he gives off radiation.

Tim can't protest. He is unable to speak.

.......

Marius found his home planet. He knows whe he is now. He became a doctor and a baron and everything else he could think of ever wanting to accomplish. He plays his violin now, for hours and sometimes even days as he watches time pass him by.

Wars came and went, and he remained. Rebuilt, his old mech found his parents' graves and just did everything he could possibly think to do with the infinite amount of time he had.

He wanted to die. He wanted to... he couldn't remember what he looked like or what his name was, but he loved him. It's been far too long, and his mind wasn't keen on letting him recall what he had forgotten. He was a part of a group, a family he thinks.

His violin carries the tune over a barren planet, a virus wiped out his people and left him as the last of his species. Destroyed the plants and animals. He can't recall the last time he ate. Water is plentiful. It's the only thing that remains. He thinks it's water, he isn't sure.

Maybe it will come back to him. He'll just keep playing, and it will come back to him. Another song, and he'll remember something.

.......

Brian scowls, and dieties gathered around him. "Are you quite done? The biometal is enough, but I must leave."

They pamper him, they treat him like a pet.

He sighs. He's been trying first eons to leave this lavish spoiled life. He misses the others. He would even take being back on that sun again. He got what he looked like before the metal body, but what's the point he knows the mechanism is still there now biometal, but it remains. He hated this he wanted to kill something. And he wanted his family back.

A rainbow diety came by, and Brian scowls. "Leave me alone."

"My acolyte is searching for you." The deities' voice is incomprehensible, but Brian has gotten used to the spoken words of gods. "I wish to reunite the mechanisms, I have missed your songs and adventures, and I do not wish my acolyte, my child to be alone in eternity."

"Get me out of here." Brian just responds as he always does to any passing diety that wanted to have him as a pet.

A rainbow static enveloped him, and Brian vanished from the world of gods.

........

Lyf cursed as a rainbow static appeared, and something heavy fell on him. "Fucking shit! Fuck you Yog Sogoth."

Brian could cry. "Inspector!" He scrambles to his feet, embracing Lyf.

"Brian?" Lyf pauses. "Why are you soft?"

"Doesn't matter now." Brian smiles. "I'm bio metal, and I have the stuff I had before I was mechanized." He turns and spots Tim. "Tim! You're... you're...." He frowns, looking Tim up and down.

Tim's long hair was freshly buzzed in a military cut. There seem to be various vines and plants growing on his skin. His eyes remain the same, almost more ingrained into his face. His beard was cut short, and he had this odd look on his face like a pleasant curiosity. All that comes from his mouth as he attempts to speak was a wheeze of a rasp. He settles on waving.

Brian frowns. "What happened to him?"

"I really don't know, but it's been like six months since I picked him up, and he hasn't said a word. He also refuses to wear shoes. I also tried to cut the vines, but they just grew back. They also bleed, which is kind of terrifying." Lyf shudders. "He kind of reminds me of TS minus the talking."

"We need to find Raphaella. She'll be able to figure this out." Brian sighs. "But I am very happy to see you again. Where are you heading?"

"Oh well, I found Tim by accident, so I might as well look for Jonny next." Lyf crosses his arms. "What happened to everyone?"

"We were supposed to have our final deaths. I saw it. I had a vision, and they happened, but... well, it didn't happen. I don't know what happened to everyone else." Brian's large fox ears pin against his head. "I don't know how they handled it."

"They'll be fine." Lyf smiles. "See, Tim's fine he just can't speak."

Tim wasn't paying attention he was growing a flower in his palm.

........

"Now that I can feel again, I hate the heat." Brian adjusts his hat as they wonder through a desert asteroid.

Tim had a content smile on his face, and a trail of grass seemed to follow in his footsteps. They were carried by the sands and died, but it was still unusual.

"We really have to find Raphaella." Lyf watches Tim continue forward without a care.

"I... yeah, you're not wrong." Brian sighs.

They walk for a bit longer to the modest capital looking building, and the people say that Jonny should be in. They landed on New Texas about a decade into their journey.

An older man was at the entrance. His horns were sharpened, and he was in a uniform. He raised a brow as if he wasn't used to foreigners making their way here. "What brings you guys here? Assassination attempts? Proof of immortality? Wisdom? A story?"

Lyf and Brian exchange a look.

Brian blinks. "Um, we're here to talk to Jonny. I'm Drumbot Brian, and this is former inspector Lyfrassir Edda. Well, Gunpowder Tim is also with us but he lost the ability to talk."

Tim waves as he blooms cactus flowers on his feet.

The man looked shocked. "I'm sorry you're..." He frantically motions for them to follow. "Jonny! Jonny! You have guests!"

Jonny looked tired, and his horns were fully grown out along his scalpe that curved up at the ends. His hair was long tied into a braid. He was in a handmade outfit that was very casual. He was more muscular than they were used to, and his tail lazily flicked back and forth. "Oliver, what has gotten you so excited?" He doesn't even look over.

Oliver runs up to the throne. "Jonny, are these... are they who they claim?"

Jonny flicks his gaze over and puts on his goggles with prescription lenses. His breath catches in his throat. "Tim?"

Tim smiles and waves again, trying to speak, but a rasp escapes his lips.

"Yeah...." Lyf frowns as he approaches with Brian. "We really don't know what happened to him, but he can't talk anymore and is radioactive. He also can spread plants like a virus. Well, not like a virus, but his plants bleed."

"Brian?" Jonny hopped out of his chair. "What happened to you?"

"I became a pet to a bunch of deities." Brian sighs. "Dunno, how long it's been, but I'm biometal now. Time doesn't exactly work where I was."

"You guys just vanished." Lyf crosses his arms. "Yog Sogoth fucked with my ship and I ended up whenever this is. I found Tim by accident, then Yog Sogoth dropped Brian on me. We're looking for Marius or Raphaella to fix Tim. Do you know where they are?"

Jonny pulls the three into a tight hug. "Fucking I thought I was the only one save for Carmillia and her lies."

"Carmillia visited?" Brian furrows his brows.

Jonny pauses. "Oliver, when did the doc show up?"

Oliver hums and scratches his beard. "I couldn't have been more than 16, I just started here. A lifetime ago, in a sense."

"Well, I suppose I can say this is the end to your watch." Jonny walks over and holds out his hand. "I think I'll head out with them."

Oliver's eyes widen, and he hugs Jonny tight. "May you tell the future generations new tales. I will spread the word."

Jonny hugs back just as tight. "Give the old guard my regards. Let this place fall to ruin as time sweeps by."

"May I return to nothing but dust." Oliver finished. "May the universe embrace you to eternity."

Jonny nods salutes and leaves with Brian, Tim, and Lyf.

......

"I have to ask, but were you a god to them?" Brian finally breached the subject a few decades into their travels.

Jonny shakes his head. "No, not even close. I was just another one of them who couldn't die, and I told stories." He shines the harmonica in his hands. "I was just someone who wanted to change things, nothing special."

"How long was it?" Brian tilted his head.

Jonny paused. "I don't know." He chuckles softly. "I don't care, though. I made a happy ending."

"A..." Brian's eyes widen. "Jonny, are you ok?"

"A bit tired." Jonny smiles sadly. "But their ain't no rest for our kin."

.......

Nastya frowns. She found Marius by happen chance. A barren wasteland destroyed by a bio weapon virus. He was skin and bones, and his violin melody was haunting. His memory is bad to say politely.

"Oh, hello, did we meet before?" Marius smiles, holding a bowl of broth in his hands. He's shaking and looks deathly thin.

Nastya gives a sad smile. "Why, Marius, we have." She started to play along after the 59th time he did this. "And you promised me to finish that bowl of yours."

"I did? Yes, yes, of course." Marius drinks greedily from the bowl till it was empty. "Could you tell me where I am? I seem to be waiting for some friends, but I can't recall who they are."

"You're on the spaceship, Aurora, and your friends will be here soon. I'll pour you another bowl why we wait." Nastya swallows the lump in her throat.

"I don't think I'm hungry." Marius summons a violin out of nowhere. He begins to play a haunted melody as his eyes become unfocused and he just plays.

Nastya's smile drops. Maybe when he isn't so malnourished, he'll remember. It's been a constant cycle since she brought him on board. She even got his old clothes. Well, Aurora helped her make them. They hung on him like a tent.

Aurora flashes suddenly, and a screen opens up. A communication from another ship.

"Aurora! We can't just accept all hails." Nastya pauses as video comes through.

"Is this Aurora? This is Drumbot Brian. Everyone else is asleep for the night." Brian pauses before his eyes widen. "Nastya?"

"Brian?" Nastya gasps. "Aurora, take them on!"

A metal hand pops out with a thumbs up.

.......

Jonny yawns, rubbing his eyes. "Why did you wake us?" He shuffles forward following Brian. "Is it my turn to stand guard?"

Lyf stretches. "No, he wouldn't have woken all of us up." He stretches his tail.

Tim whistles the only noise he could make from his mouth at this point as he marches forward.

Brian nearly pushed the three out into a metal hanger. "Welcome back!"

Jonny yawns again. "Welcome back where?"

"Jonny?" Nastya gasps.

"Nastya?" Jonny's eyes soften. "I'm glad to see you again."

Tim waves he knows of her but never met her.

"O-oh, you left before I ever met you." Lyf holds out his hand. "I'm Lyfrassir Edda, the one Bifrost survivor, acolyte to Yog Sogoth. I think, honestly, don't really know what they want to do with me."

"You know Marius." Nastya's pupils widen.

"Yes! We were looking for him to help with Tim. He can't talk, and we really don't know what's up with the plants or radiation." Lyf pauses. "I also miss him."

"Follow me. All of you, please." Nastya smiles as Aurora chirps.

The soft haunting melody from a violin gets louder as they get closer to the med bay.

"Of course he's playing that stupid vio -" Lyf chokes on his words as the door opens, and he can see Marius.

His hair was long, barely moving, and his clothes hung off of him. He was like a skeleton with skin. His eyes were sunken in, and he was smiling. His hands were bleeding slightly as if he had been playing for days straight. The bandages that were new were stained. His tail hung limp off the table. Even his ears drooped.

Nastya swallows. "He was on a planet that was destroyed by a bio weapon virus, wiped out every living creature and plant. I have no idea how long he was there."

Marius stops playing, putting the violin to the side. "Hello! I'm Marius Von Raum. Who are you?"

"You... you know who I am." Lyf sucked in a breath.

"Do i?" Marius smiles. "I think I'm waiting for my friends to find me. Would you like to wait with me?"

Brian's silverish goldish hue paled.

Jonny had a stricken look on his features.

Tim for the first time since he was found frowned.

Lyf could feel pain try to steal his voice as tears tricked his eyes. "Marius, it's me, Lyfrassir, Lyf. You know me."

"Do I?" Marius continues to smile. "I'm quite sorry I seem to..." his eyes lose focus as another violin appears, and he begins to play again.

Nastya covers her mouth. "I've been trying to get him to eat more, but he can barely drink the broth I give him. If I could just get some weight on him, maybe he could remember something." She sucks in a breath. "He goes around like this every time. Please play along."

Lyf was crying. "N-no! This... this.... Marius." He pushed the violin away and sat next to him. "I'll wait for you. I'll wait with you."

"Aurora will bring the broth every hour for him. Also, some mashed vegetables." Nastya turns away. "We can only guess how long he was there, but the planet has been dead for tens of thousands of years at least."

Jonny reaches out and holds Nastya's hand. "Come on, show me where my new room is."

Nastya nods and leaves, Brian follows, and Tim wanders behind them but doesn't exactly follow.

......

"Don't you want a belt?" Nastya smiles.

Jonny shrugs. "I don't really need one. I made these clothes."

"What about your gun? I restocked the armory as well, Aurora even revamped the shooting range." Nastya smiles a bit wider.

Jonny shakes his head. "I'm ok. Thank you for the offer. Did you rebuild Ivy's library?"

"O-of course." Nastya frowns. "Why?"

"I think I want to read right now." Jonny hums. "I want to read something with a happy ending. Will you join me?"

Nastya freezes. "Jonny, are you ok?"

"Just a bit tired." Jonny hums softly as he walks down the hall, and Nastya follows with concern.

.......

"Why the fuck should I even let you on my ship?" A woman with horns that curl around her cow like ears. "I will accept everyone but you."

"Hello, Doctor Carmillia." TS waves from behind the woman.

Carmillia smirks. "I can tell you where your son is."

The woman didn't look impressed. "I can and will track him myself. Try again."

"Valerie, please, I promise to behave. I'm just trying to get them back together. The Mechanisms come on you want to help." Carmillia smiles, showing off her fangs.

Valerie narrowed her gaze and looked at the people behind her. "Names?"

"Raphaella, ma'am." She seemed less confident and deranged. "I want to try science experiments again. I... I...." She shakes under the gaze. "I don't want to be used anymore."

Valerie motions for her to come inside. "I'll keep ya safe." She watches Raphaella run inside her wings folded tightly against her back. "Who are you?"

"Ashes O'Reilly, quartermaster." Ashes crosses their arms. "You look like Jonny."

"That's because I'm his mother." Valerie hums. "As long as you don't fry the circuits, you can come on. However step out of line and I will leave you."

"Understood." Ashes nods and heads on.

"Ivy Alexandria." Ivy frowns. "I would like to return to my library. Books and records don't leave, time passes, and they will remain and grow."

"I've got a library on board, kid." Valerie sighs. "TS bring her on."

"Yes, Ma'am!" TS picks up Ivy and brings her on board.

Valerie returns her gaze to Carmillia. "You can come until I decide against it. If you try anything, I will make sure you never find us."

Carmillia smiles wide and runs on board.

........

"I am Marius Von Raum." Marius smiles. There's a bit more meat to his bones. "You are Lyfrassir Edda, and you are waiting with me."

Lyf nods, feeding Marius another bite. "Yes, that's right. We're going to not wander away from Med Bay today."

Marius has a bit of trouble swallowing, but he gets the stew down. "We are waiting together for my friends."

"Yes, we are." Lyf smiles. "Almost done, just one more bite." It's a bit of a struggle, but he gets Marius to finish. "We did it all done."

"I'm a doctor." Marius says while he gets up. "My friends don't believe me."

"Oh really?" Lyf puts the bowl down and follows Marius. This was new, and it lit a flame of hope in his chest.

"I went... I went." Marius furrows his brows, and the light flickers in his eyes. "I think I think...." He frowns, which was new. "Another... there was another war." He stops talking as his eyes lose focus, and he summons a violin. A haunting melody begins to play as he stands still and plays.

Lyf sighs. "You'll get there, and I'll be right here when you do." He guides Marius back to his bed, who keeps playing. He smiles softly and reaches out to pet his hair, which slowly reaches back out and wraps around his finger. "Yeah, we'll get him back."

.......

Jonny spent more time in the library, or the gardens than anywhere else. He seems to keep his mind busy, and violence seems to be the last thing on his mind. Eternity weighs on him.

Brian was in the gardens with Tim when Jonny walked in. "Good afternoon, Jonny."

Jonny nods in acknowledgment as he approaches Tim, who is growing new trees from his own vines. "Would you like to read with me?"

Tim paused as the flowers bloomed. He smiles as his new norm lets out a rasp and follows Jonny to the bench.

Jonny smiles. "This is a new one. We just picked up planet side, I've been told it ends very sweetly."

Brian smiles as he works on the vegetable garden. Jonny and Tim have always been close, and it seems they were trying to rebuild that even if both men have changed so much. Nastya was still trying to get Jonny to be violent. It wouldn't work.

Tim's gaze drifts as he leans on Jon. This was normally the sign that he was about to sleep. His behavior was random at best, but you pick up cues on what he is doing.

Jonny hums softly, closing the book. "You're right it is better to take a nap. I am a bit tired."

.......

Valerie hums softly as she leans back. "What is it?"

"I um well..." Raphaella walks slowly towards Valerie. "How have you not... I mean, it's been just as long for you."

"We found her again." Audrey smiles she appears.

Valerie shakes her head. "I've already changed, but I've accepted my reality. I know each of you has suffered, and I understand that it wasn't easy being alone, but it takes time. You'll never be who you were, but you'll just be different, and that's ok."

"I want to be me again." Raphaella shakes. "My experiments won't ... haven't worked."

"You're already you." Valerie smiles. "You just have to accept you changed."

Raphealla sighs but relaxes. "Can I have some blood?"

"Mine or in general?" Valerie smirks.

Raphealla smiles shyly.

.......

Lyf hums softly as he mixes the batter. He was humming "Tales to be Told." Marius was playing the violin part he wasn't all there today, but he was still good company.

Marius finally looked healthy, but his mind was still not together. He was beginning to have lucid periods, but nothing concrete enough to recognize anyone.

"So what will it be today? Muffins or cake?" Lyf smiles, breaking his humming.

Marius continued to play, not noticing anything.

"Hmmm, you're right. Muffins are better because Tim hates cake. Afterward, we can cuddle and watch a movie." Lyf chuckles softly, pulling out a muffin tin. "Never understand why Tim hates cake. It's a perfectly fine dessert. I suppose pie is better, or a nice custard, or whatever that cactus stuff Jonny grows." He doesn't notice Marius had stopped playing.

"I like sweet breads." Marius blinks seemingly confused.

Lyf drops the pan out of shock, making a mess of the floor. "Shit shit shit. Fuck."

"I didn't know you could bake Inspector." Marius smiles.

Lyf freezes staring at Marius. "Marius?" He barely whispers.

"Yes?" Marius seemed confused as he looked around. "I don't.... I don't... where am I?"

"Aurora! The starship Aurora! We're in the kitchen." Lyf abandons the mess and rushes to Marius's side.

"N-no, that isn't.... that isn't possible." Marius started to look frustrated. "It's gone. I... I..." He tugs at his sensitive hair, trying to shock himself with pain. "N-no I went.... I didn't.... I..."

Lyf pulls Marius into a hug. "Breathe."

Marius shudders, and he stills. "Hello, Lyf, why are we hugging?"

Lyf sighs and pulls away. Progress isn't linear. He would say that all the time. "Because I like you."

"You do?" Marius tilted his head unsure. "You don't like me or my violin, though."

"I... um..." Lyf takes a breath. "You've grown on me."

"Like a mushroom?" Marius smiles.

"Yeah, like a mushroom." Lyf smiles back.

"Do you know when the train is coming?" Marius blinks as Lyf grips his shirt.

"I think it already has." Lyf swallows.

"That means we have to go." Marius smiles. "I think... I think..." He pulls away and summons a violin and begins to play.

"I don't want you to go." Lyf wipes his eyes. "Ok, it's time to clean up and try again. I'm thinking sweet bread." He smiles as Marius is playing a happy tune. "Yeah, sweet breads for you."

.......

Tim observed. That's what he does. He's the Watcher. It's hard to think of a time before that. Jonny is a familiar comfort, but he couldn't recall why. It hurts to think sometimes. He just wanted to be good. This place was very clean and he had his own room. He let his plants grow in his room. He was safe and not forgotten.

He feels as if he's missing something. The blue skinned woman keeps putting him in a room with weapons, but he doesn't want to be in there. He thinks her name is Nastya, and she seems sad all the time. He has tried to give her flowers and fruits, but it seems to just confuse her. He doesn't like being confused either. They call him Tim or Gunpowder, all of them do. The name is Familiar, and he will respond to it, but he's the Watcher. He's been that for a long time.

They keep asking him to speak, but he knows he can't. He forgot when he stopped, he forgot when he was able to. Marius is nice he doesn't ask him to speak. They play music together, Jonny gave him a guitar, and he knows how to play, but can't remember why or how he knows. Marius is nice he tells him secrets about war and survival. He's confused and scared like he is.

He liked to work with his hands. He can grow his plants with his hands and dirt. Brian was also nice with his hands. He always seemed to help him clean up like the others. It's not like he tries to be dirty, but his plants need soil, and the bad, painful thing inside of him always hurt others, but he didn't seem bothered. Brian always said he was warm, but that's it, and that made him happy. He thinks he is making Jonny sick because he's always tired, but he doesn't complain.

He doesn't like the heavy clothes Lyf gives him. They are familiar, but they cover his plants and weigh him down. He doesn't want to get them dirty either. They seem important because everyone gives him the coat back. Lyf talks about his eyes a lot and asks him to look for things. He likes Lyf, he asks him to do his job and he likes that. He's a bit weird with his colors and static, but he makes Marius very happy.

Everyone asks him about violence or guns. He can't tell them the truth. He doesn't want to be a weapon anymore. They can't know he was a weapon, but he thinks they already do know. He likes Aurora, she is very nice, and helps him when he gets lost. She doesn't let him spread his roots anywhere, but the garden, she said it hurts. He apologized for it but still didn't quite understand how it hurt. It used to hurt him. He can remember when they used those weapons again on earth. They just rebuilt, too.

He can remember the burning, and he was trying to save something, or was it someone. He didn't really know anymore, but he thought the fighting was over something dumb. The bombs were loud and dirty, and they didn't leave anything but radiation. The first time, if he could recall properly, they recovered and regrew. They were thriving, and then someone got upset and built them again.

He wanted to tell his story, but his hands shake really bad when he tries to write. Jonny is really patient with him. They nap together a lot. Maybe one day he'll remember why Jonny calls him his amazing destruction and why he loves him so much.

.......

Nastya nearly jumped when Aurora was suddenly hailed. They've been peaceful, and nobody should even bother them. She sighs and takes the video call. "This is Nastya of the starship Aurora and pilot Drumbot Brian."

Brian nods, adjusting his hat.

"This is Valerie of well Audrey you aren't bothering me today, so Audrey." The woman leans back as a familair doctor is handcuffed to the side. "We've been looking for you."

"Carmillia?" Brian blinks stunned. "Jonny mentioned something when we first found him. Guess it was true." He shrugs and begins to brush out his tail.

"What happened to the body I made you?" Carmillia leans forward, tugging on the cuffs.

"I became a pet to a bunch of deities." Brian shrugs.

"Is the inspector with you?" Valerie smiles softly.

"Lyf?" Nastya pauses and nods. "He is with us, Aurora?" She pauses. "He's making lunch with Marius. As for Jonny and Tim, they are in the gardens taking a nap."

A familair figure rushed in. "Nastya?"

"Ashes!" Nastya smiles wide.

"Are you alright? We've been looking for a long time." Ashes grins. "You've got Jonny and Tim, I've missed them. Are they up for drinks?"

Nastya's face falls. "It would be easier to explain if you saw them in person." She can see the frustration grow on Ashes face.

"Ashes, that's enough." Valerie sighs and holds her hand up. "May we board?"

"Aurora, let them on." Nastya cuts the feed and covers her face

......

They were loud the moment they returned to the Aurora. It was like coming home, but everything was wrong. Nastya was alone to greet them.

"Where's everyone? What's with this lack luster welcoming party?" Ashes huffs and crosses heir arms. "Not that I'm not happy to see you. I expected a bullet to the brain or fire." They pause. "I can set something on fire."

Nastya looks at the others who come out. "Raphaella, TS, and Ivy. It's nice to see you."

"Where is everyone?" Ivy frowns. "There is a 65% chance Jonny and Tim are causing damage to the Aurora. A 45% chance Marius and Lyf are having sex somewhere, and an 85% chance Brian is in the gardens."

"You wouldn't be right." Jonny sighs. Tim was behind him. "It is nice to see you guys again." He looked exhausted. "Have you guys been having fun?" He's wearing his goggles and had a book in his hand. His signature belts were gone, and he was in casual, comfortable clothes.

Tim still had shirt hair and a perfectly trimmed beard. He was in a plain t-shirt with dirt stains. He was in shorts, and vines traveled his arms and legs and into his skin. He smiles and waves opening his mouth to produce a rasp.

"Tim can't talk anymore. He's also radioactive. You can find him by following the dried plant footprints." Nastya sighs. "Jonny, have you seen Marius?"

"He's not lucid if that's what you're asking." Jonny frowns. "Lyf is doing some chores while he plays. It's a happy tune, though."

"What do you mean by not lucid?" Raphaella cautiously moves forward. "I don't think... actually, I don't think Tim knows who we are."

Ashes stomps forward, startling Raphaella, and Jonny stops them from touching Tim.

"Leave them be." Jonny sighs. "There isn't a point to hurt him."

"What happened to you?" Ashes stares at him.

Jonny shrugs. "I'm just a bit tired."

Valerie steps forward. "Of course you are." She smiles sadly and holds out her hand. "How about a walk?"

Jonny nods and takes her hand. "May I take Tim with us?"

"Whatever you wish, Sand Skipper." Valerie takes his hand, and they go down the halls. Tim follows behind without a word.

Ashes are fuming, and Ivy stops them from shooting. "What has gotten into everyone one? This isn't right. We've been seporated before, for eons, and we never ended up like this. We aren't supposed to be broken. We've been through worse, so what if we didn't truly die?"

.......

The faint violin music alerted Ivy from her library. It wasn't Nastya she didn't have her violin. Well, it was still in here. They said Marius is here, but none of them have caught him in the halls of Aurora. At least Lyf has made sure of that. Curiosity had gotten the better of her, and she might as well see what had happened to him.

Marius looked the same, except for his clothes, they were purposely soft, it seemed. He was walking around playing.

Ivy clears her throat.

Marius seems to pause and drop his violin to his side. "Hello!" He turns and smiles.

"Hello Marius." Ivy keeps a neutral expression.

"You know me." Marius tilts his head.

"Of course I do. There is a 57.92% chance this is a game." Ivy's voice was emotionless.

Marius pauses no look of recognition in his eyes. "I'm waiting for my friends to find me. Would you like to wait with me?"

Ivy's face morphed to confusion. "Marius, you know me. I'm Ivy. You spend hours in my library looking at romance novels and bad poetry."

Marius seems to lose focus. "You seem very nice, miss, but I have to get back to waiting. I'm sure my friends will be back here soon." He brings the violin back up.

Ivy slaps the instrument out of Marius's hands. "No! NO NO NO!" She can feel sparks fly from her head. "You are Doctor Baron Marius Von Raum, who is neither a baron or a doctor, and my friend. You are my friend." She felt emotions swirl in her head things she can remember truly feeling since before her mind was mechanized.

Marius's eyes seem to lose their hue. He summons another violin and begins to play. He slowly starts to walk in a random direction. The music is haunting.

Ivy is shaking. "Don't just walk away! Don't... Don't.... I didn't mean to leave." She begins to follow Marius. "I think my mechanism is malfunctioning." She can feel something leak from her eyes, and she didn't know her species could cry. She didn't know she was still capable of crying.

.......

Jonny was reading to him in the garden before the sound of a gunshot, and he was splattered with bits of blood, bone, flesh, and brain. Jonny was reading to him, and now he slumped over, and his head was gone. Jonny was ready to him, and now they were talking, boasting about how finally this would get fun get normal.

Tim reached out like a child who didn't know any better and gently shook Jonny in vain. They were still laughing and talking. Jonny didn't move, Jonny was gone. Gone. Gone. Gone. He watched. That's what he did he just watched. Why did he watch? Why? Why?whywhywhywhywhy? He was good. He had to be good.

Bad gets replaced.

Bad gets punished.

Bad loses.

They stopped making noise when the roots settled. They made a very good trophy. They had useless metal. They didn't need it. They were taken care of. He did good. He will watch now. He is the watcher, that is what he does, and he is good.

"Tim?"

He stared at the tree twisted red roots, and fruit bloody dripped from the thick branches.

"Tim."

The leaves were white like bone, and the thorns were sharp teeth. The veins pulsed as the tree flourished.

"Tim!"

He stumbles back as Jonny pulls him from his roots and his feet bleed. It hurt. Aurora asked him not to make roots. He frowns, staring at the tree, red dripped from the massive towering twisted thing.

"Tim." Jonny's voice was soft. "Tim, can you hear me?"

He adjusted his gaze. Jonny was back. His head grew back. He forgot something important. He... he didn't know who Tim was. He should know who Tim is. He wanted to listen to a story. A story about the moon. He opens his mouth as a silent rasp leaves his lips.

Jonny pulls Tim into a tight hug. "I'm ok. I'm always ok. We have eternity, don't you remember?"

He rasps again, trying to ask for the story about the moon. Jonny knows it. Jonny can tell him who Tim is. His eyes... his eyes grew deeper roots.

Jonny smiles. "Ashes is fine, too. They left, and they went to get Raphaella. She'll be excited to experiment with this." He pulls Tim along. "Come on, I'll help you clean up. We can take a nap after, and then I'll find a better story to read to you."

He follows along, holding on tightly to Jonny's hand. Jonny will tell him. Jonny always had stories to tell. He'll know who Tim is.

.......

New rules were written. New rules bathed in blood and pain.

Ashes stared at the new rule list nailed to the wall of the commons. Their limbs still felt wrong. They didn't understand what happened, that... that tree was still there. A stark reminder of change. They didn't find them fast enough. They turned their gaze to Raphaella, who was watching them.

"Did it hurt?" Raphaella almost sounded innocent.

"Of course it did." Ashes sighs. "You can test it if you so desire."

"I think I want to give Tim his voice back." Raphaella was nervous. "Human vocal cords can recover disuse. His has not. I want to know why. Will you.... will you help me?" She held an old spark in her eyes.

Ashes smiles softly. "I would love to."

[mosylufanfic]

RCWhumptober Day 29

I decided to use an alternate prompt for today, "aftermath of failure." This isn't as whumpy as some of my others, but they're both suffering.

Visiting Hours

For the fourth time in as many hours, Jyn was fighting with a reception droid. "I need to see him. I need to."

"The patient is a level four," the droid said stolidly. "Level four is not permitted non family visitors."

By this time, Jyn was very familiar with the leveling system of the Alliance medical ward. Level one meant you were in for a squirt of bacta gel, maybe an antiviral shot, and back to your quarters. 

As far as she could tell, level five meant death's door. 

A doctor came through one of the doors. They were Mirialan, their facial tattoos faded, the way they got without upkeep. The doctor themself looked as faded as their tattoos, deep purple shadows under their eyes. "What's this racket?" they said. 

"This civilian is insisting on seeing a level four patient. I have stated repeatedly that it is not possible."

"It's possible, you're just being a prick," Jyn fired back. 

"You're Jyn Erso," the doctor said.

She set her jaw. She couldn't read the tone of their voice. Was it contempt? Anger? "I need to see him," she repeated.

"Level fours are permitted fifteen minutes with a family member," the doctor said to the droid. 

"This is not a family member," it said. "The patient has no family listed."

The doctor looked at her searchingly. "Given that, I think we can fudge it." 

The droid made a very annoyed sound, but twisted its body back to face the door, pissily ignoring Jyn.

She tried not to think of another pissy droid. You are continually unexpected. 

The doctor jerked their head at Jyn. "In through here. Decon chamber first."

“When does my fifteen minutes start?” she asked, following them.

"I'll let you know." They hit the button to seal off the decon chamber and Jyn screwed up her face. It was a sonic process, stronger than the sonic showers that she'd used all her life but no different in theory. Still, the enclosed chamber made her teeth itch.

They let her out on the other end and escorted her down a sterile white ward, beds cloaked in plastic on either side. Some of them were from Scarif, she knew.

Not enough of them.

She swallowed hard.

The doctor stopped her in front of the last bed in the row. "Listen," they said quietly. "The only reason, and I mean the only one, that I made this exception is because he's been asking for you."

"He's conscious, then."

"Yes. He won't look so bad. But don't let that fool you. His injuries are primarily internal, and they are severe."

"I know. I was there."

"He has a long way to go before we can downgrade him even to level three. So I wouldn't tell him anything too . . . upsetting."

She gave them a flat look. "What am I supposed to talk about, doctor? The weather?"

They pressed their lips together and unsealed the plastic. "Fifteen minutes starting now," they said. "There's a button on his bedside table. If you need anything, hit it. Someone will respond."

Do you think anyone's out there?

I do. Someone's listening.

At the rustle of plastic, Cassian's eyes turned toward her. He couldn't move any more than that. He was braced six ways to Centaxday, immobile so his shattered bones and his lacerated insides could knit up. Deep shadows like bruises ringed his eyes, and his skin was pallid under the bruises and the stubble. "Jyn," he said hoarsely.

She mustered up a smile, or an approximation of one. "Hi," she said. "Don't you look like shit."

He smiled back. "The plans," he said haltingly. "Nobody - will tell me - "

"Let's not talk about that right now," she said. 

His eyes fastened on her face, and after a moment, he made a noise of assent. "Who - did we - lose?" he asked then.

"Um. A lot," she said. "Seven made it back."

That was it. Seven out of thirty. Twenty-three dead on the blood-soaked sand, their bodies turned to ash by the Death Star's vicious eye.

"I don't know most of their names," she said. "I didn't really have the time." And she hadn't thought she would make it back, so it hadn't seemed important. On this side of things, it felt massively important to know who'd given their life for her last-ditch rogue mission.

"S'okay," he muttered. "I'll hear."

"That one guy, you know the one? From Wobani? I hit him with a shovel."

"Melshi," he said.

"Yeah, that's it. He's somewhere around here." She gave a general sort of wave, indicating the medical wing. "Level two, I think. He got us off the beach. Stole a shuttle, got us back here."

Cassian's eyes widened. "Bodhi?"

She felt her mouth tremble. "Got hit with a grenade or something. It took out our shuttle, that's why Melshi had to steal one. Someone pulled him out. He got back alive, but he's - it's bad. Level five bad. He's been in bacta since we landed. It's all - it's all very touch and go."

He absorbed that. "Baze," he said. "Chirrut?"

"On the surface," she said, and didn't have to say anything more.

It felt wrong that they'd left them there. Jyn didn't know what kind of burial rituals Guardians had, or Jedhans for that matter. She felt sure it hadn't included being vaporized by the blast of a planet killer. 

"They wouldn't - have wanted - to be without - each other," Cassian said. 

She nodded. "And. Well. You know what happened to Kay."

"Backup," he murmured. "Kay always - backup."

It wouldn't do much good without a chassis, and knowing that pissy droid he'd broken his backup into pieces and hidden it through seventeen databases just to make trouble for them. But it made her smile a little. "Well, that's something."

They sat in silence for a time. Jyn could almost hear her fifteen minutes ticking away.

"You," he said. "How - are you?"

She gestured at herself. "In one piece. Got banged up, but nothing some bacta gel couldn't handle." She rubbed at the edge of the bed. "They're not sure what to do with me. Not like I can get court martialed or something. Surprised they didn't shove me in the prison cells again, honestly."

Especially after -

Well. 

"Glad you - stayed," he said. 

Mon Mothma had offered her the shuttle - "that was the agreement," she'd said in her calm voice - and Jyn had rejected it with a firmness that hadn't seemed to surprise the other woman at all. 

"Where would I go?" she said rhetorically.

His hand lay on the covers near his hip. He turned it palm up in a motion that looked like it hurt his whole body.

She put hers over it - "don't" - and saw the little smile. She rolled her eyes and left her hand where it was. 

"Jyn," he said. "The plans."

"I don't - it's not - " 

"Please," he said. "Please."

She looked over her shoulder, through the cloudy plastic. No doctor to wag their finger at her.

And maybe it was selfish of her, but she desperately wanted to talk to someone. To share this pain that rode in her chest like a stone. 

She shut her eyes and took a few shaky breaths. When she opened them again, he was watching her, eyes urgent.

"One of our ships did receive the transmission," she said. "I don't remember what it was called but there was someone important aboard. A princess or something."

"Leia," he said. 

"Yeah, that was her. They sent a message they were on their way. But they got waylaid. A Star Destroyer. Over some dustball on the edge of nowhere. I'd never even heard of the system." She frowned. "-tooine, something."

"Dantooine?" he said, brows pulling together in concern.

"No, not that one. Tatooine. That's it. Like I said, never heard of it."

"What - happened?"

She was stalling. She knew it. 

"They took the ship," she said. 

He sucked in his breath. "Did anyone - "

"Everyone aboard was either dead or captured. The ship itself was destroyed."

"The plans," Cassian said. 

"Nobody knows," she said. "Maybe they were aboard the ship, maybe the Empire took them back - we don't know."

If only she'd kept them. If only she'd grabbed the data cartridge out of the transmission station. But she'd thought it was all right, with all those ships in orbit backing them up, and Cassian had looked as if he was about to collapse. Her first thought had been him. 

"They're gone," he said.

She nodded dumbly. "And there's more."

"How?"

"We got news today. Alderaan." She could barely say. "The Death Star attacked Alderaan."

"Like Jedha?"

"Worse," she said. "Much worse. The whole planet."

"The whole - "

"Yes," she choked out, and saw the horror dawn in his eyes as he took that in.

It was stardust, shattered to nothingness. A whole planet. Not one like Jedha or Scarif, either, that could be covered up or written off as a mining accident. They'd flicked their fingers and destroyed Alderaan, a Core world with a population in the billions. With that one stroke, the Empire had established that it could do whatever it wanted and nobody could stand against it. 

And the plans . . . the plans they'd worked so hard to find, sacrificed so many. Saw, her father. Bodhi and Baze and Chirrut and Kay, and everyone else who'd died on Scarif or come back in pieces. They'd fought so hard, they'd lost so much, and - 

"It was for nothing." She felt a tear, hot as lava, slide out of her eye and carve a burning path down her cheek. "It was all for nothing."

FINIS

[seldonhari]

Tag game: tag 9 people you’d like to get to know better

Tagged by the loveliest @somebirdortheother!! Thank you, friend

Last song: Tu Rumba. I'm listening to Just Coolin' right now, but I'm not sure if I can call it a "song"

Currently watching: I started Mad Men last week and I'm planning to rewatch Peter Capaldi's Doctor Who episodes. Or not. To be quite honest, I'd rather go back to reading more in my free time

Three ships: Not in a super shippy mood, either. Hmm. Let's go with Twelve and Clara - the ultimate ship, Gene and Alex (from Ashes to ashes), James and Anna (from Above Suspicion lmao, Ciarán Hinds girlies will understand)

Favourite colour: Warm orange and Autumn yellow

Currently consuming: Jared Harris interviews Sugar-free cookies (dinner) and tea

First ship: I'd say twelveclara, but I vaguely remember shipping House and Cuddy when I was a kid (Terrible, I know). Can I mention a brotp here? Because I ADORED Alan Shore and Denny Crane from Boston Legal (Was this show even real?)

Relationship status: The next best thing to be

Last movie: Much Ado About Nothing (1993)

Currently working on: 1) My Spanish? 2) Goddamn Christmas cards (for 2024, because I'm late this year) and a few drawings for moots aka you

Tagging (no pressure) @daincrediblegg @merrycrozier @lady-of-imladris @queenmeriadoc @partywithponies @cakesandsnouts @camecrawlingback @csswingandeasy @lillersdabomb and everyone who feels like participating

[lordy-lou]

and now you are and i am now

written for @tentoorosemicrofics, stretching the prompts of “edge” and “singing” beyond all possible recognition.  check it out on ao3 here.

As Rose stands, shattered-fixed-frozen and holding his human-sweaty hand on that blustering beach, the Doctor is suddenly reminded of poetry.

Not of any one specific poem, mind you, but instead of the idea of poetry as a whole: rhyme, meter, repetition and symbolism, all words and silences and spacing trying to express that which is too much to be borne.  All art aspires to the condition of music, he remembers, he knows, and poetry comes the closest, a gratifyingly representational element wrapped up in abstraction and inference.  A rhetorical bent, a meandering and cutting of thoughts wrapped up in syllabic precision, in artful chaos.  

He wonders what the poetry is like in this universe.   Different—new—connotations and allusions.  Perhaps a bluebird meant despair, a croaking raven upon a bust a harbinger of fortune.  A phoenix, death.  No stirring ashes here.

As under a green sea he imagines drowning.  Physical life as perpetual motion, and his single heart hares towards its conclusion contraction by contraction, his mind a tremulous wisp constantly reforming itself in the stream of blood and sense impressions.  His sense of time, of potentiality, the complex biology of a being capable of experiencing and witnessing and manipulating the block universe—oh, it’s all there, the shutter-slides of possible moments one after the other clicking past like a child’s image viewer.

Rose's eyes are wet and luminous in the afternoon sun, staring at the disappearing indented square where the TARDIS had parked in the sand, and when she finally looks at him, he is trapped in her gaze like a failing satellite in a deprecating orbit.

Poetry. He’s never been good with words, gob notwithstanding.  Couldn’t ever get the right ones out when it’d mattered most, couldn’t see the… the… not effect, not point, but necessity of something so intangibly small and terrifying as  I love you.   His people hadn’t had a term for it, in the end.  They hadn’t had poetry, either, not in the way that the others in the universe had in more-than-equal measure.  They’d had art in the most rigid and elegant of representations, with love and brilliance and joy expressed through equation instead of emotion, and even then so repressed and turned down to a low, bare simmer that it paled in comparison to the lightning-fast boil of humanity.

It’s what’d drawn him to them in the first place.  That potential, that passion.  That poetry, that intervallic and linguistic playfulness, from the tight-structured villanelles to the Modernist explosion, of faces in a crowd to lost watches to shared oranges to an old pond all wrapped in heavy symbolism and interpretation; but always, the common fellow-feeling.  That one can read through and see another and the self in words, individuals bound together by the great weavings of the human experience.  

He can see himself mirrored in Rose’s eyes, and he half-hates the image he can see there.  So he pushes past, looks at her: a thinner face, lighter makeup, a tense, straight set to her shoulders under her leather jacket—and oh, how he wants to hold the rounds of those shoulders in his hands, to pull them from their flexion and gentle them until they’re soft against him.  He thinks of the bare skin of her, under his hands—

—and his mind, that tremulous wisp drowning under a stream of blood and sense impressions, flickers, and he brushes aside his time senses, his training all screaming at him to stop, stop, this is beneath you and it’s frighteningly easy to ignore the entirety of it with this new human element in his system.  Nearly a millennium of self- and societal-imposed asceticism, up in flames for a woman who had looked at him with tender, brave eyes and offered her company to an old, broken man.  

He doesn’t find a single atom of regret in the ashes of his strictures.

His grip on her hand changes, fingers twining like he’s found home, and he steps closer to her, his brilliant, bowed human love.  She hasn’t stopped staring at him, like he’s something unreal.  Perhaps he is.  He doesn’t feel quite real, in this moment that continues to flow from could be to wriggly now to solid past.  Time is passing,  and he only has so many heartbeats left.

“Rose,” he starts.  She’s still silent, but she’s turned to face him, all tightly-wound limbs and runner’s grace kicking through her bones. “Rose—,” he begins again, and his throat closes up, so he snarls at the sky instead.  Her hand squeezes his, and he looks back to her.  There is something quiet and considering in her gaze, now.  He wants to give her anything, everything, all of him.

Poetry.  

He’s always been shit at it, honestly.

“Did you mean it?” she says into his tortured silence.  “What you said?”

He tilts his head.  Thinks of recitations he could give to her, arcing words of beauty he knows he could never really deliver correctly.  He brushes his thumb against hers slowly as he thinks, and he catalogues and revels in the shudder that rushes through her and then through him in return.  Thinks of—no, knows, his time senses and potentialities flickering back in at his bequest—growing old with her, grey and withered, and that self-same shudder at the rasp of skin on skin, of a growing TARDIS and comfortable mornings wrapped up in each other, house-rattling arguments, a child wild with laughter at a birthday cake, paired golden rings growing dull and scratched with time and adventure and love and death—

Gently, he steps finally, fully into her space, and his free hand cups her jaw.

“Oh, Rose Tyler,” he says, resting his forehead against hers.  Their breaths mingle and he can hear the blood rushing through his veins, pounding in his ears.  “I meant every word.”  For the first time since the golden fire of the time vortex embodied, he presses his lips to hers.  Beneath him, she hums, and there is a smile on her lips and tears on her cheeks as she kisses him back.

“Good,” she whispers between breaths.  Then she laughs softly as he chases across her cheek with kisses, and he wants to hear that sound forever. No weight of the universe on him now, only the comforting pressure of gravity and fatigue in his bones; only the sweet press of Rose Tyler against his chest.

His heart beats ever on.

[just-me-venting-cause-life-sucks]

Hey! COD fandom! Especially the ones who ship Ghost and Soap together!

You're not in trouble or anything, I just wanted to get your attention.

Now, I know that you like your fictional characters to be war criminals, gay and not mentally well. And so, I would like to share with you something that I have been obsessing over since... *looks at the calendar* September.

I would like to introduce you to... THE MECHANISMS.

The Mechanisms is a music band of immortal storytelling space pirates, who have fun where possible, violence when necessary(and unnecessary), and if they are lucky, then both at once!

The crew is very diverse, as only one character is of human origin. Here is a list of almost everyone in the crew(there are way too many):

Jonny d'Ville, the captain first mate, burned down a casino(?) after killing his dad

Gunpowder Tim, master at arms, blew up the Moon

Baron Marius von Raum, ship's doctor(he is not a doctor, he is not a Baron), we still don't really know

Drumbot Brian, the pilot, got flung into space

Ashes O'Reilly, quartermaster, burned down an entire planet, canonically uses they/them pronouns

Ivy Alexandria, archivist, she doesn't know either but there was fire

Nastya Rasputina, engineer, got killed in a revolution, canonically a lesbian and is having sex with the ship(we don't know how it works either, don't ask)

The Toy Soldier, yes, you read that right, this is a literal, human sized, wooden soldier, it will not leave them alone

I would recommend starting with their first album, Once Upon a Time (in space), and listening to each album in the order of release. You will cry because of how amazing it is. Please just give them a listen.

[itissnowing]

Tag 9 PPL U wanna get to know better

I'm going to combine it too xD @itslight666 @reznorty3

1. Three ships

Lawlight (duh xD), Lumity (Owl House), Eruri

(I have so many more 🥲 Historia/Ymir, Mello/Matt, Viktuuri, Ash/Eiji...)

2. First ever ship

I don't remember, it was either Doctor/Master from Doctor Who or Stexpert. The last one was a YouTube germany ship that was even shipped by the two people involved in it xDDD sixth grade was a wild place

3. Last song

L.A. Woman - The Doors

4. Last movie

Terminator 3

5. Currently reading

Sasaki and Miyano, Attack on Titan, Bullet Train

6. Currently watching

Star Trek The Original Series

7. Currently consuming

Ate some chips

8. Currently craving

A good grade in my physics exam and sleep

9. Tagging

@jessynote @pebblesgum @ratbefriender @cupid-bunny-light-yagami and anyone who wants to join :DD

[sobercentre]

Mary-Kate Olsen drug addiction journey is just another two peas in a pod, as most Hollywood celebrities struggle with fame and substance abuse. In retrospect, the glamorization of drug abuse in Hollywood is all too common. Numerous tabloid stars have encountered drug abuse disorders, and if not, someone close to them is doing drugs. It is almost as if it comes with the territory since many have disclosed their battles with drug addiction to the public. But where did it all begin? It began in the 1930s when Hollywood stardom was flooded with young, rich, ambitious actors and actresses accustomed to publicity and long work hours brought about by their demanding careers. To fulfil the Hollywood hustle, the system encouraged pep pills or “vitamin shots,” as doctors called them, to help the superstars be energetic or get sleep. This gave them a ticket to abuse drugs as long as they would be on-set when needed and develop tolerance with time. It was, therefore, not unusual for celebrities to engage in alcoholism heroin or cocaine use. Worse, the public and the media began idolizing drug-abusing celebrities while stigmatizing ordinary people who fall victim to addictions. This Hollywood tragedy still lives on in the 21st century, where people are desensitized to drug abuse, just like they are desensitized to violence through movies and TV shows. The media has witnessed the likes of Zac Efron, Angelina Jolie, Oprah Winfrey, Robert Downey Jr., Lindsay Lohan, and many more media personalities confess their struggle with alcoholism, heroin and cocaine addictions. On that note, this article will look into Mary-Kate Olsen drug addiction through her screen career and how she got over the addiction. Grab a coffee and get comfortable. Mary-Kate Olsen’s screen debut As one-half of the sororal Olsen twins, Mary-Kate was born on June 13, 1986, with her twin Ashely Olsen and together, they began their screen careers at nine months old on the sitcom show Full House. While child labour laws restricted children to 20 minutes per episode, the director hit the jackpot with the lovely twins switching places to cover 40 minutes on-set. Their first gig was profoundly successful; since then, the duo has always been together. It was also an avenue for launching the Dualstar Entertainment Group, making them one of the youngest executive producers in Hollywood history. After a few years, Mary-Kate and Ashley produced countless shows, movies, and fashion lines, including The Row, Elizabeth and James, Olsenboye and StyleMint, and a metric ton of merchandise totaling their net worth of $500 million. Just like their career flourished, so did the twins maintain a stellar reputation, unlike the rich and famous teenagers of their age who were party animals. They either kept a clean record or were so good at escaping the tabloids. Well, the latter sounds truer if you keep reading. The beginning of the Olsen tragedy Mary-Kate and Ashley fell into the media limelight accidentally. They did not choose a life of fame. Nonetheless, they had to measure up; fortunately, it worked to their advantage. However, measuring up to their demanding career meant taking a lot of coffee to get them wired enough for the day. As a result, they developed a caffeine addiction at a very young age. As the twins confessed, their mother would make them pancakes and a tiny cup of coffee on the weekends. Mary-Kate tells the WMagazine, “I remember at 10 sneaking my own coffee and pouring a ton of sugar in and going up to the playroom and drinking it.” Additionally, the twins were obsessed with Starbucks and the paparazzi would always be selling pictures of them holding Starbucks cups around the city. Despite their efforts to maintain a clean reputation, their 18th birthday was not so squeaky clean. Dark rumours unveiled the duo’s liberation on their campus life at New York University. Their public image began shifting to that of divas who flaunted their smoking and drinking all over the tabloids.

This approved a previously leaked photo of Mary-Kate drinking at a party while in high school by Spencer Pratt, a reality series personality. While Mary-Kate regularly managed to make news in the media, Ashley stayed in their good books. Down the road to addiction Mary-Kate was exposed to drug abuse during their campus escapades, where they tried all sorts of drugs, from marijuana to ecstasy, cocaine and alcohol. Although her cocaine and alcohol addiction was known to the media, her family remained hushed. Her condition plummeted when she had to check herself into a rehab facility in 2004 for anorexia and drug addiction after a lifetime of denial. The family quickly denied that non of the girls had an addiction problem, but their bodyguards held contrasting opinions. They confessed to seeing the girls participate in pot circles and pass the joint around. To support it, Mary-Kate Olsen was often sported by paparazzi carrying a pack of cigarettes proudly into interviews, clubs, and bathrooms. She wasn’t quite into the under-the-radar affair about her drug use. Mary-Kate went through six weeks of treatment and, three years later, struggled with kidney problems. Her love life has also brought her to the mud after her boyfriend, Heath Ledger, died of an overdose in 2008. How is Mary-Kate Olsen today? Mary-Kate has had a bumpy recovery as rumours of her relapse made the headlines once a few times. Regardless, relapse is part of recovery. The Olsen twins retracted from the limelight to build their careers and work on their mental and physical health. She recently shared her thoughts in an interview with Marie Claire, where she was quoted: "I think it’s really important to be able to talk when something’s wrong". I learnt at a really young age that if you don’t talk about it, it can drive you insane. The 30-something-year-old fashion mogul now lives off social media and married Olivier Sarkozy in 2015. She has managed to hide from the public eye and lead a quiet private life. Ashley and Mary-Kate were last spotted at the 2017 Met Gala.

[marikos-diary]

I got not one but two ash trays! The exact make and model I had before. I got one black one and one white one. The white obe is the one I really want, but it won’t be here until November. And black one can be here on Monday. So I just have to get through the weekend of smoking either out back or in my car.

I just got back from going out, too! I was very anxious on the walk to my car and the way to the place and I felt like I was going to throw up. But I made it there safely, had a smoke in the parking lot, and then went through the drive through and got two sodas how I like. The ladies at the place I go every day are so nice to me so it wasn’t too bad. I did have a smoke on the way back since I still felt very anxious about driving in general.

There’s many things I would like to do today. I would like to open the windows once it hits 58-60 outside because I enjoy the fresh air. I would like to use my bath wipes and change my underwear. I would like to stay inside except for smoking. I don’t want to go anywhere else today. Further, I would like to vacuum and wipe down my counters and table surfaces. Friday is usually my cleaning day but I was far too upset to take care of anything then. If I can’t get all the surfaces done, then maybe just my end table. It always ends up getting some coffee or soda splatter on it. I wipe it off with a tissue but it would be good to wipe it down. I also want to make my bed, which I was able to do yesterday. It just feels so much cozier to climb into a made bed.

I’d also like to do something fun today. Maybe watch an episode of a show, or read a book. My books are still all packed up, so that second one is kind of tricky. And I reschedule my bookshelf delivery because I didn’t know when I would be waking up today. They were supposed to arrive sometime today but dealing with the buzzer and buzzing someone in and having people in here sounded too stressful so I moved it out another week. Again.

Speaking of buzzers, I think I am going to change my grocery and food delivery instructions to say that I will meet them at the front door. I don’t want to hear that buzzer anymore. It is too stressful for me. I’ve also decided that unless it is an emergency I am no longer calling maintenance. They were in here multiple times a week fixing things the first two months of living here because the complex never did a walkthrough I guess. They were here all the time. I’m not doing that anymore. I don’t want anyone in my apartment. I want it to be my safe space. No one else allowed. That sounds nice to me. My old therapist would have something shitty to say about it about me needing to rejoin society but he didn’t know me or what I’ve been through. I think it is very reasonable to not want people in my apartment. Not even mom for a while. Maybe for the doctor who Christmas special though. I will think about that one. So, to summarize, unless I absolutely need to I will not be calling maintenance. They knock on the doors too loud and they are loud and I don’t want them here. I know at some point there will be a mandatory inspection. I can talk about that in therapy and work on being okay with letting them in. But hopefully that isn’t for many many months. And maybe I’ll get lucky and I will be « invited to leave the community » by then. That is seriously what I am hoping for.

As an update on the door locking saga, I made an honest one star review under my name on Google reviews. It detailed all of the issues I have been having with this building and how management doesn’t care about safety and security and just ignores you when you email them about legitimate concerns. So, I posted that on Tuesday. On Wednesday the company responded and said some bullshit. Later that same day the guy in the office who has bbeen ignoring me called me. I let it go to voicemail and emailed him to let him know that I would need everything in writing. He emailed back that pest control was on site and asked if they could enter my apartment. lol. I said no but I am home. Pest control showed up, sprayed for fruit flies, didn’t even mention the ants I see every week and the roach I saw when I moved on. What a joke. I emailed Tyler and CCed his boss Charlotte to express my disappointment that my pest problems were not resolved. Didn’t get anything in return. Started researching pest companies I could just pay on my own. That was Wednesday.

Thursday afternoon I got an email on their official letterhead from Charlotte stating that pest control had been scheduled to come deal with the infestations on a weekly basis until I choose to cancel it. I do not think this is good enough, because they should have taken care of it before the unit was leased. Charlotte also told me that my neighbors had received a notice not to tamper with the building door or prop it open and that maintenance would check the doors every weekday morning and afternoon. This still did not feel good enough but it was progress in the right direction. It wasn’t good enough to make me feel safe.

So, they did that on Friday. I assume they removed some objects because I saw them laying in the hall as litter right inside the door on my way out around 4pm. Whatever. I have a security system now. It was armed. Anyway, I came home at 8:30pm and found the building lock had once more been tampered with. As if that’s a surprise. The lock had cardboard jammed into it abd taped over with blue painters tape. I sent a pretty angry email to Charlotte and Tyler to inform them that this solution of theirs was not adequate and detailed for them how unsafe I felt as a single disabled woman. I told them in no uncertain terms that stress from this issue is complicating my disabilities and interfering with my ability to function. I asked them what they would do to permanently solve the issue.

I expect that I will hear nothing in return. I truly do not think they care. So, I am resolved to leave the apartment as little as possible until my lease ends. Only to get smokes and sodas, or go to the door to pick up delivery orders. Because if I stay here, then the chain is on the door and it can’t be forced open as easily. They’d have to rip the chain out of the wall. Which is like? Possible, but unlikely. And even if they did, my alarm system would go off and the police would be called. So I feel comfortable enough as long as I am physically home. Therefore, I will not be leaving very much at all. I have to protect the cats, you know?

So that’s the update on that. It’s a whole thing and I am so stressed about it that I am having chest pain and throwing up from anxiety. My mom thinks I am wasting my breath emailing them and that we should have a lawyer draft a letter to them. I’m inclined to agree. That would make me feel better. But that takes time. This last email was probably my last email to the complex about it. I’ll save them and give them to the lawyer when it’s time for that.

In other news, I am cutting down on the notifications I get on my phone. I use a task reminder list but it is very shouty at me and overwhelming so I am trying to find a way to keep using it because it is helpful without it being so loud. I don’t know. I’ll figure it out.

Also I have yet to text my mom today. I worry the notification when she texts me back will be upsetting. I’m crying already just thinking about it. So no good morning text for mom.

And I’m not texting Charlie because I am upset at her. I begged and pleaded with her for help and advice and she didn’t respond. I get that she is having troubles because of her mental health and texting is hard, but like really? That’s super not okay to me. I feel abandoned and I don’t think she even cares. I’ve tried to be patient and understanding but I am in crisis and needed her and made that known and she couldn’t respond to even that or react to the message to let me know it had been read and I wasn’t alone. I don’t know. I am very upset about that. I am kind of angry but mostly I feel abandoned which is a massive trigger. I haven’t SHed over it yet but I am holding back tears as I type this.

I feel like I’m going to throw up and I am very tense. Ugh. I probably won’t be able to get any cleaning stuff done today.

And now I am crying a bunch because all I want is to have a friend who responds. But I don’t have any friends that respond. I have no one. And if even Charlie can’t respond, how am I able to trust other people and make friends? I am completely alone and I want to die. I am miserable. All I have are my cats. I am completely alone.

Alone.